Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-04-14
What Everybody
Says

H Says
The following is what it is said aft
er the engagement is announced of
almost any girl to almost any man:
The Girl Herself-Id like to see
Lillian's face when she reads the So
ciety news-if she ever does anything
so intellectual as to read She's al
ways been perfectly crazy about Bob
and she'll be utterly furious! She'll
try to make people think she could
have had him if she'd wanted him,
but every one knows how she has
chased him for months wonder If
any one will send Arthur paper.
Poor boy! 1t will be such a blow to
him! If ever man was devoted to
girl he was to me. I'll always feel
that I've ruined his life. He's one
of the constant kind that never gets
over such disappointment. l wish
could decide whether want white
satin or crepe meteor wedding
dress.
The Man Himself-Yes, they've got
my name spelled right, after all. Gee!
It's something like reading your own
obituary notice, it's so formal! Any
how, it's nobody's business but ours
and don't see any use of all this fool
ishness in print! Every idiot know'll
be around to see me tomorrow and
tell me how to be happy though mar
ried! Well, it will settle Mckenzie
all right-he won't be sending Edith
flowers nov in that airy, oh-rve-got-a-
chance-yet way of his. I always want
ed to kick him. Robert Rogerson
Fairburn-yes, that's me, all right,
Well, life begins to look real and earn
est now. / wonder if Ethel won't
kind of think when she reads this that
maybe she wasn't so bright after all
running off and marrying Smith just
because she had quarreled with me.
She's had three years of pretty rough
shedding with him. OF course it's all
for the best so far as I'm concerned,
butt wonder!
Lillian-What! You don't tell me
Bob is really engaged to Edith! Well,
what do you think of that It's most
remarkable how men do these weird
things when they are reduced to des-
peration, isn't it? Poor Bob! OF
course Edith is very nice girl-so
capable and domestic and all that
but. my dear. did you ever see a girl
so dowdy, and with so little style? L
am sure Mrs. Noah did her hair up in
precisely that same way in the days
of the ark. Bob always did love pref
| ty th1ngs-that's one reason he hung
around me SO much. Some men never
notice new gown or a smart hat. but
he always does. No, I'm awfully fond
OF Bob, but mercy! I never could fall
IN love with him! Never! l sup
pose he realized 1t at last! Poor Bob!
Arthur-Hello! Edith's going to
marry Bob Fairburn! Well. we'll!
Nice little girl, Edith! Seems to me
had crush on her myself once.
She had the biggest brown eyes-no
that wasn't Edith-it was Mabel.
remember now that Edith's eyes were
blue. Or were they hazel? Where in
creation did l put that tobacco? Hey
Ferguson! Got any tobacco?
Mckenzie (who sent flowers to
Edith)-One by one the roses fall!
So Edith is going to shake us all for
Bob Fairburn! 1t was worth the for
lists bills, getting him mad. He
seemed to think that every one was
In conspiracy to take his girl away
from him. Ediths too quiet for ma.
But 1t paid to stand in with the family
her fathers tips on the stock mar
ket were all right.
Ethel (who married Smith)-Oh.
Teddy! Guess who's going to get
married now-one of my old beaux!
No, not that one-Bobbie Fairburn!
Why, OF course you remember him,
He took me to that party where I
, first met you and was crazy mad be-
cause you had four dances! used
to think rather liked him, but that
was before you came along! can't
imagine why ever was so foolish.
Goodness! What If had really mar
ried him! / had an awful time work.
Ing up quarrel with him SO as to let
him down easily. | hated to be down
right brutal and drop him, SO seized
on the first chance for fight. 1t was
awfully funny, now that think of it!
Well, Bobbie was a nice boy in his
: own way. wonder who she is
never heard of her.
: Edith's Relatives Individually and
t collectitely)-Weil, suppose this
. means another wedding present. II
Y was perfectly idiotic of grandfather to