The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-07
Old PAP PINKHAM.

Ny Dear William am no alarm
list, but must warn you that the en-
envy is on our trail. Further than
that, the assassin is abroad in the
land.
Last Tuesday afternoon a stranger
called at the Jericho postoffice and
inquired for letter for Joseph Jack
son. The inquiry was made of me
personally, and with my usual JUNCTION
1 replied that there was nothing for
Joseph. The man aroused my sus-
picions by still lingering in the corri-
dor, and therefore took a good look
at him. He was a man nearly six
feet tall, lop-shouldered and knock
kneed, and he had one cock-eye. Why
he didn't have another to match it 1
cannot say. He had a piraticaI mus
tache, long hair, and altogether he
created a most unfavorabIe impress
sion. When he saw that he had at
tracted my attention, he asked me to
step out behind the postoffice, and,
when there, he asked me the follow
ing questions:
do you think President Taft can
re-elected?"
do you think the country would
welcome back Theodore Roosevelt in
1922"
What would you say to Senator
Aldrich as a candidate?"
Has the feeling between you and
Mr.. Taft become brotherly?''
Have you confidence in his ability
to govern this country for its best
interests p"
do you think you can swing Jeri-
cho to any candidate you wish to next
campaign"
would you care to be collector of
the port of New York four years
hence, and see Mrs Pinkham riding
up and down Fifth avenue in her
auto? ?"
William. I made no answer to the
above. When the stranger had finish
ed reached out, with my right hand
he nf
with my fingers and Jared him three
times with my knee-jarred him
hard. In fact, I Jared him over an
empty barrel and over the fence, and
/ made no remarks while I was doing
It.
That night it was IL o'clock when
] left the postoffice for home, and II
was showing gently. I had my dig
nity and my JUNCTION with me. and was
humming the air of 1.-The Sweet Bye
and Bye when there came crash
and I fell to the street unconscious |
1t was half an hour before l recoV- |
cred my senses and crawled home. |
The object of the assassin was to put
me out of business, but the cabbage |
leaves in my hat saved my life. L
wear them winter and Summer-in |
summer to prevent sunstroke, and in |
winter to keep the hair from falling /
out. Try them. William. Senators |
Bailey or Tillman may attack you any /
day with a sled-stake.
I did not catch sight of the would
be assassin but of course it was the
cock-eyed stranger who had tried his
tricks in the snow, but a COW had |
passed and mixed things up. If my
life has been attempted to get me out
of the way before the next campaign,
why won't yours be? 1 am not say
ing that the assassin was in the pay of
Senator Aldrich, but that was the only
name he mentioned, and we must draw
our own differences.
I have provided myself with a self
acting, automatic gun for future pro-
lection. 1 don't have to pay any atten-
ton to assassins. If one comes around
the gun in my hind pocket begins to
self act, and it fires bullets all over
town before it stops shooting. Get
one, William. You don't know what a
feeling of confidence it will give you.
Let an anarchist but enter the front
door of the White House and 1t begins
to load him up with lead.
Don't worry about my selling you
out The port of Jericho is all the port
want. and 1 couldn't get Mrs. Pink
ham into an auto if offered her 800.
I hold Jericho in the holler of my
hand, and Jericho is solid for Taft
and Pinkham. Let the CALLED jade
vince and hodag show his teeth.
I had dropped my dignity and my
Ion of molasses for Elder Lysander
johnson. when a note was mysterious
" placed in my hands by a boy with
one suspender. Two minutes later 1
had left the deacon to draw his own
molasses and was flying down the