davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-07-08
humorous department.
Wanted Company.

Shortly after , o'clock one bitter
winter morning. a physician drove
four miles in answer to telephone
call. On his arrival the man VINO
had summoned him. said:
Doctor l amt in no particular
pain. but somehow or other I've got
a feeling that death is nigh"
The doctor felt the mans pulse
and listened to his heart.
Have you made your will?" he
asked finally.
The man turned pale.
WHY, no doctor At my age
oh, doctor, it amt true. is it" 1t
can't be true"
who's your lawyer"
"Higginbotham. but"
Then you had better send for him
at once"
The patient, white and trembling,
went to the phone.
Who's your pastor?" continued
the doctor.
THE Rev. Kellog NJ. Brown, num-
bled the patient. But doctor do
you think
Send for him Immediately. Your
father too. should be summoned; also
your"
Say doctor, do you really think
l am going to die?" The man began
to blubber softly.
The doctor looked at him hard.
mo. l don't" he replied grimly.
There's nothing the matter with
you. But I'd hate to be the only man
you've made a fool of a night like
this"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-07-08

mixture, "to be taken three times a
| day"
The name of Horace Greeley has in
this connection to be mentioned with
| n chaStened respect. He undoubtedly
was the great master Of illegibility.
| 1t was to him the cOmpositOr averred
| that If BelShaZZar had seen his hand
writing on the wall he would have had
cause to be terrified. A common story
attributed to Greeley belongs, howev-
er. to one Brooks, some time presi-
dent Of the New York Central rail-
road. 1t Is best, in all things to be
just. And Greeley can well spare it.
1t was Brookss notice to quit that a
tenant used for two years as a rail-
way pass. Greeley wrote some press
men: with a weight of years / feel
+, Obliged to decline any invitation that
takes me a days journey from home"
and this is all they could make Of it,
"If ellie are blighted, dig them early.
| Any insinuation that brick ovens are
dangerous to hams gives me horrors" "
This is the way the moderns have Jug
| gled with the pen, so can we wonder
| that its time of usefulness Is we'll
nigh spent.-New York Press.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-07-08

Why, lndeed.-It is related Of the
president of a famous college that at
one time he allowed his wife to per-
suade him of the uselessness of fire IN
surance on household goods, and he al
lowed his policy To lapse. But better
judgment asserting itself, he finally re-
newed his insurance. The same day a
fire in his wifes rooms destroyed some
of her dresses, which the professor en-
joyed as a good joke.
In due time the president of the in
surance company wrote President
Blank this letter:
Dear Mr.. Blank:
we enclose check for $500, paying
your fire claim under our policy 6OO1
Il note in passing upon these papers
that the policy went into effect at noon
December 10, and the fire did not oc-
cur until 3 p. IN.
why the delay?"-Circle Magazine
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-07-08

"Business."-"Too many Americans
of the twentieth century" said Jacob
A. Riis, in an address in New York,
according to the Times, have a wrong
idea of business. Now business is,
really, honest service-honest service
nothing, but that.
But too many men look on business
as a certain seaside shOpkeeper did.
"A friend of mine visited this mans
shop to buy a flannel bathing suit. The
bathing suits were all little too large
for him.
They're marked unshrinkable.' my
friend said thoughtfully. This one
here might do if it would shrink.
But"
I'll ask father about it, said the
young attendant
And then, behind the partition, my
friend overheard this dialogue:
Father, a gent wants to know If
our unshrinkable bathing suits won't
shrink little any way
lis the suit too large for him?
Yes, father
Then of course it will shrink. Why
don't you try and have some head for
business, Willie?'"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-07-08
One of the New Streets


Street." cried the conductor.
The modest little man touched his
elbow.
Excuse me-" he apologizcd, but I'm
a little hard of hearing, and | confess
that 1 wasn't giving YOU my undivided
attention as should. Would it he too
much to ask YOU to repeat the name of
the street."
"Bllwjkzp Street" growled the con-
ductor, with a savage glare"
"Oh, thank you So much!" said the
modest passenger, gratefully. Il wasn't
quite sure whether YOU said Jllkzwpb
Street or KwpZjlpb Street. | get off
at Wilson. Will you ring the bell?"
cleveland Leader.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-07-08
Why She Preferred WaIkina.-

alert little 5-year-old was taking a
walk in a city park with her mother
for the first time, and when they ar
rived at the boat landing where the
swan boats were waiting for passen-
gers little Elsie pulled away and de-
clared very vigorously that she did not
want To go. and as her mother urged
her she broke into tears.
This sudden fear was S" unusual
that her mother could not understand
it until she heard the h"atman's call:
Come along. come al"ng-ride clear
around the pond-only five cents for
ladies and gents-childrcn thrown in!'
Exchange.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-07-08

A Dry Country.-The landlord of a
hotel in a prohibition county in India
ma is very deaf
The other day a drummer who was
at the hotel walked up t" the desk
where the landlord was standing and
asked:
Landlord. can YOU sell me stamp
The landlord weighed the matter
thoughtfully. Then he replied:
No. sir. ia like L. help you. but
the durued drys is watchin' me $" Clus
| had to cut it out."-Saturday Even
ing Post.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-07-08
THE UNIVERSITY OF SOUTH
CAROLINA.

Varied Courses of Study in Science
Liberal Arts, Education, Civil ane
Electrical Engineering and Law.
College fees, room. lights, etc. $26;
Board, $12 per month. For those pay
ing tuition, $40 additional.
The health and morals of the stu.
dents are the first consideration of the
faculty.
43 Teachers Scholarships worth
$15S.
For Catalogue, write to
S. c. MITCHELL. Pres.
Columbia, S. c.
4S f At.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-07-08

And if / were not too modest, too
religious, and too polite, l would say
Damn a state that will not stand up
for it's own traitors!" Let Connecti-
cut send Benedict Arnold, and Kan
sas John Brown, to the national
Valhalla. Then let the world decide
between the southern traitors, Wash
ington and Lee, and the northern
traitors, Arnold and Brown.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-07-08
J. c.. WILBORN

REAL ESTATE
LIST YOUR PROPERTY WITH ME
If YOU WANT TO SELL
l want to buy or relt a cheap Horse
or Mule.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-25
PANIC ON RIVER.
Girls Jump from Yacht and Help
Fight Flames.


fredericksburg. Md. July PA sailing
party on the gasoline yacht Wissahicken.
owned by A. Gilbert Longaker. Of Phila-
delphia, had a thrilling experience late
last right on the Nsnticoke River, five
miles from here, which nearly cost sew
eral Of them their lives, the boat taking
fire from leak Mr.. LongaIer. accom-
panied by his son Horace and his brother
Hiram. made up a party 20 take cruise
Gown the river. A spark from the engine
ignited the fluid and in a fash flames
shot along the line OF the pipe. The
women screamed and became panic
stricken.
Only six Of the party could swim. The
FIRE gained rapid headway. Two OF the
girls Jumped overheard. Albert Mcclure.
Of Baltimore, a good swimmer, leaped
after them and saved both in twenty feet
of water The men in the boat held the
other young women from throwing them
selves overheard. Meanwhile the engi-
neer, his clothing partly ahame, stuck to
his post and drove the boat closer In
shore. The young women took of their
outer skirts, and the men used their
coats and the skirts 10 fight back the
flames When shallow water was reached
all Jumped overheard and waded ashore.
Several Of the girls were overcome BY
shock and fright
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-25
NOMINATIONS IN TEXAS.
Present Representatives, with Two
Exceptions, Again Named. o

Present Representatives, with Two
Exceptions, Again Named. O
Austin, Tex, July 4-The vote for
Congress in the different districts, so FAC
as counted. indicates the nomination OF
all the present members. with possibly
two exceptions. In the Twelfth district
D. N. Alexander. Of weatherford, Is run
ming Representative o. W. Gillespie, Of
Fort Worth, a close race in the count OF
the vote c. c. Stokes, OF Crockett, is
reported in the lead over Representative
A. w. Gregg. of Palestine. Representa-
tive c. B, Randell is nominated by a
good majority over B. Q. Evans, Of
GreenviIe, in the Fourth district
Senator Bailey used his influence to
bring about the defeat OF Randall, who
has long been his political and personal
enemy.
The contest was spirited in the Third
District between sfx candidates. to I'll
the vacancy caused by the recent ap-
pointment of Representative Gordon Rus
sell 20 the Federal bench. H c. Giddie,
Of Mimeola. is reported 10 be IN the lead.
All other Texas Representatives were
renominated without opposition Re-
publican candidates will be placed in the
feld against them in several districts.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-25
TAFT'S ANKLE BETTER.
President VIII Be Free from Pain
Tomorrow. Saws Doctor.

Bar Harbor. Ne. July 24-President
Taft Is at sea once more. His injured
right ankle is better and less painful. and
by the time he is ready 10 90 ashore at
Rockland on Tuesday he is expected 90
be free from pain. Surg. Grayson. OF the
AIaynower, thinks that the pain viii be
entirely gone by that time
The ankle was put in a compress last
night and the swelling to-day had almost
entirely disappeared When the Presi-
dent stepped out Of his car at the door
OF the Congregational Church, he did not
have to lean on a secret service man, as
he did yesterday at Bangor
Most Of the members Of the Mayfiower
went 10 church With the President Rev,
r. B. Matthews preached. This after
noon Senator Hale took the President
and the others out to HIS summer home
at Nicolin. where dinner was served. A
special train brought the party 10 the
Mount Desert Ferry. where they boarded
the yacht She steamed out for Bar
Harbor and to the Gray sea
Rockland. Me, July 2k-The Mayfower
got 10 Bar Harbor at $50 tonight. A
small boat went ashore and picked up
The mail. She sailed again for Dark
Harbor. Islesboro. and Rockland at $50.
She Is due at IAesboro tomorrow morn
ing
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-25
CONVERTED YACHT
HORNET SETS SAIL
Will Probably Become War
Ship and Fight the Venus.

Norfolk. July 24-The steam yacht Hor-
net last night left the shipyard where
she was reftted by men who worked
night and day upon her with instructions
TO disregard cost. and at 1910 o'clock this
afternoon passed the Virginia Capes,
bound ostenslbly for New Orleans. She
few the Stars and Stripes. and the OBJ
server at Cape Henry reported her as
The "U. s. naval converted yarht Bor-
net" apparently unaware. as they later
may be IN Central America. that she has
Aeen stricken from the naval list, al
though still bearing her naval name
She filed her complement OF engineers
before sailing. Wheatley, chief, and NJ.
Tabb. assistant. being among them. They
and T. o Moon, her master. all Norfolk
men, expect to see fighting, and confided
10 friends here that they had heard that
she would fight the Venus OF the Op-
posing Nicaraguan faction. One repor;
here is that they will try 10 smuggle
guns aboard 1t is said that she is "a
meet some other vessel at sea. and for
/ this reason her sailing was hastened
kilograms urging haste came here from
representatives OF Madriz's opponents al
New Orleans after the Hornet left Nor
folk
It is still suspected that she may have
guns cached on the Isle OF Pines. and
that a touch will be made there 10 get
them. She is deep laden with coal and
/ has bags Of it piled on deck
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-25
CRiPPBN ABOARD
ATLANTIC LINER
London Reports Doctor and
Companion Caught.

London. July 2L-As Scotland Yard re-
fuses yet to confirm or deny any of the
reports concerning DR.. Crippen, who is
wanted on the charge Of numbering his
wife. or TO otherwise take the public into
its confidence. il cannot be stated posi-
tive what steamer Crippen and his COM
panion. Miss lie Neve. are aboard or
There is a probability. almost amount
ing to certainty. however. that they are
on the Montrose. bound for Canada, and
as it is now pretty certain that Inspector
Dew is on the LauTentic. ne should
reach Canada twenty-four hours ahead Of
the fugitive The story ascribing the IN
formation regarding the whereabouts OF
the couple to the French police Is more
than doubtful
There is every reason 10 believe that
the captain OF the Montrose sent a wire
less message on the afternoon OF july
p. announcing that a disguised couple
were aboard the Montrose. 4 corrobora-
tive message reported 70 include the
! definite statement that the younger sus-
pect, who was dressed as a young man
had been found to be a woman. followed
few ,hours later It is quite probable
| that there was a subsequent exchange Of
messages between the MOntrOse anC
Scotland Yard 1t is stated that one O.
these announced that the suspects wer'
under arrest. This, however, Is likely Z
be coniectural
! When the fugitives embarked on tn
Monuose at Antwerp they do not seen
to have attracted notice. suspicion not be
ing awakened until the steamer was wei
at sea. The Montrose does not carry frs
class passengers. She has about twent
second class passengers and 400 steeras
passengers aboard
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-25
BOTH SIDES CLAIM
VICTORY IN TEXAS
=" Drys" Get the Legislature,
"Wets" the Governor.

Austin. Tex. July 2f-Both the pro
hibitionists and antl-prohibitionists won
victory in yesterdays Democratic pri-
maries in Texas. The anti-prohibltion or
ganization nominated its candidate, o. 2.
Cclquitt, for governor by probably 10000
plurality. and the prohibitiOnists carried
the proposition for Statewide prohibition
hy large majority
II is runored THAI Mr.. Colquitt viii
refuse TO accept this Statewide prohfbi-
ton feature OF the platform. In that
event the prohibition element OF the
, Marty VIII put out an independent can6i-'
date for governor. But for the fact that
there were two prohibition candidates in
the field for governor that faction OF the
party would have also won the feature
Of the contest by a large majority.
Senator J. W. Bailey's candidate
William Poindexter. is the third man in
the race for governor. Cone Johnson oc-
cupyine second place and running in the
lead in many parts OF the State.
r. Y. Davidson. former attorney gen
eral, who made the race for governor
on his record as trust buster and in
having collected a fine Of Sl.6S0Oo0 from
the Waters-Pierce on Company, driving
that corporation out Of Texas for violat-
ing the antitrust law. IS beaten. accord
ing TO incomplete returns.
The prohibition E=17ocrats are reported
to have a two-thirds majority OF the legis-
lature, which will give them plain sail
I ing IN anti-saloon legislation, despite the
fact that the nominee for governor is an
lanti-prohibitionst.
Bascom Thomas IS nominated for lieu
| tenant governor by IA large plurality
His principal opponent, Davidson. took
a leading part IN expelling Thomas from
the senate two years ago because the
latter had made public charges ths;
members OF that body were Influenced
by lobbyists in legislative acts.
Chairman Allison Waydeld. OF the rail-
road commission, is renominated. Bot
Parker is nominated for comptroller
sam Sparks for treasurer. and J. H
Lightfoot for attorney general
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-25
WIFE ASKS DIVORCE
FROM BOGUS EARL
Mrs. Irene f. Stanley's Suit
Recalls Romance.

Elkton. Nd. July 24-Mrs. Irene F.
Stanley. through her attorney. Robin
Names, as fled a bill in Cecil County
Circuit Court for an absolute divorce
from her husband. Henry F. Stanley.
who. in June. 1867. practically had the
people Of Cecil County wild over a string
Of titles he alleged was attached to his
name
The couple became acquainted. were
married. and were separated all within
twenty days, when the magnificent cas-
ties the bride was to preside over in the
old country proved to be myths.
Stanley, claiming TO be Lord Preston,
Earl of Aberdeen. and several other IT,
ties, in 1907 became the guest of Joseph
McVey one Of the largest land owners
in Calvert section He dazzled the Nc
Yey family with a story Of his high con-
nections and imense wealth. but confided
to the Dean family that he was embar-
rassed by the fact that he could not get
into his full estate until he married. and
he offered to give any member OF the fam
ily $1,000 II they would introduce him to
young lady who had been accustomed
to wealth. and that could grace the title
Of Lady Stanley in England. Stanley
was soon introduced to several young
women, among them being Miss Clayton.
He proposed to her, and she named July
as the wedding day.
Meanwhile the Earl" accompanied
by Miss Clayton. had Eswyet Marshall
draw up a marriage settlement. giving
the future countess $4,000 a year The
Earl found the brides brothers had
discovered his, ,masquerSding. and skipped
TO Oxford. Pa, where he took a job as
butchers assistant. ShoI sly afteFwart
np 1ieappeared aItooe4her.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-25

Chicago. July PA property loss OF
nearly s2.O0o.0A. hfty families rendered
homeless, and the threatened destruction
OF hundreds OF buildings was the result
Of two great fires which swept over the
northwestern part Of the city to-day.
The Northwestern Malt and Grain Com
pauy's plant. the largest mailing con-
cern in the world, at Forty-sklth avenue
and Cortlandt street. was damaged TO the
extent OF Sl.50o,O0o, and the brewery Of
Charles F. Ogden & Co. extending from
Oakley avenue 10 Leavitt street on Divi-
sion avenue was completely destroyed
with a loss OF nearly $4,000.
Due TO Torrid Wave.
Both fires were said 10 be the direct
result OF the tOrrid wave which swept
over the city from the Southwest, being
the highest temperature Of the year and
causing explosions Of grain dust in beth
plaats.
The fire in the Northwest Malt and
Grain Company's plant broke out at noon
with a terrible explosion in the grain
elevator. and before any attempt could
be made 10 check the flames the huge
building was a mass Of fire The burn
/ ing embers were carried for blocks by the
high wind. setting fire 10 a score Of cot
tages and residences in the vicinity.
While the fire department was bending
every effort toward extinguishing the fire
at Cragin. the ogden brewery at Division
and Oakley avenues became the scene OF
the second great FIRE of the day from
identically the same cause as the first
I The building is a three-story brick and
wood structure. two blocks long. and II
was completely gutted before the fire
was brought under control.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-25
HERALD NEWS SUMMARY.

Pages.
1-Dog Fight Interests Militiamen.
Hunts Gypsy Camp for Daughter.
Converted Yacht Hornet Sails.
Grand Trunk Strike Near End.
Vets and Drys Divide in Texas.
Two-million Dollar Fire in Chicago.
Crippen Aboard Atlantic Liner
Republicans Fear Loss of Ohio.
2-City Saved from Heat Record.
Firemen Have Busy Day.
Diamond Theft a Fake.
Champion Pugilist Soon 10 Arrive.
4-Roosevelt Shows Interest in Ohio.
SIN the World Of Society.
Zoo Crowded With Pleasure-seekers.
Germans Plan Big Fete.
6-Editorial.
7-Of Interest 20 Women.
S-Nationsls Play Double-header To-day
s-Amateur Baseball Gossip.
11-Letters from the People.
Commercial and Financial
12-Nations TO Work for Health.
Navy Mechanics Make Protest
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-25

Columbus, OhiO, July 24.-The
Republicans began turning up to-
day for their State convention, the
first session Of which is to be held
in this city on Tuesday. On only
one point was there anything like
unanimity of sentiment in the
throngs Of Republicans on hand,
and this was-everything must be
done to save the Presidents own
State next fall.
Most of the Republicans on the
ground admit that the Democrats
nominated an exceedingly strong
ticket at Dayton, and that the
slightest mistake here might lead
TO the reelection Of Gov. Harmon.
BLOW TO TAFT.
the President 10 lose his own state next
fan in the first election following the
passage OF the Payne-AIdrIch tariff bill
and other important Taft measures at
Washington would be a direct political
calamity, and might lead to mighty en-
lbarrassing conditions in the Presidential
year Of 1872
Senators Burton and Dick and their
friends have discussed the situation all
CAV as to candidates FOR governor. and
while George B. Cox and his friends
continue 10 stoutly assert that Oren Britt
Brown. judge Of the Court OF Common
Pleas at Dayton. Is surely TO be nomi-
mated. II not on the first. certainly on the
second ballot. the present indications ara
that it is Brown against the field. and a
strong field at that. consisting OF Warren
c. Harding. Jamos R. Garfield, CarmI
Thompson. Granville ". Mooney. and
Representative Nicholas Longworth.
Harding IS editor Of the Marion Star.
a brilliant speaker. and old-time friend
OF Joseph b. Foraker. and one Of thu
frst Of Foraker's ueutenants TO desert
him when Roosevelt began his assaults
upon Foraker. Harding and Foraker
have since become reunited Foraker IS
not 10 attend the convention
Not Invited This Time.
In the old days former Republican
governors and Senators were invited by
the state committee to come along and
join the band. but with the advent OF
Wade Il, Ellis, chairman OF the execu-
tive committee. the happy custom has
been suspended and no invitation has
been sent 10 Foraker to be present on this
occasion
The process Of elimination and Undue
ton began to-day. Cox claimed 45O dele
gates for Brown Of the Loss in the con-
vention. The field insisted that Cox was
OF his reckoning. II Senators Burton and
Dick received any encouragement what
ever from President Taft on their visit 10
Beverly. II was 10 see 10 it that neither
Judge Brown nor Garfield was nominated
Continued on PnEe 4, Column L.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-25
KILLED BY BROKER.
wealthy italian shot After Tres
pass Quarrel.

Poughkeepsie. n. Y. July 24-Clement
Demerond. said TO be the wealthiest
Italian In Ulster County. was shot and
instantly killed at West Park this morn
ing by Louis Victor SeydeI. New York
broker, who has summer home in the
colony founded on the mountain near
West Park railroad station by John Bur
roughs. the author-naturalist
The two men had disagreement over
the use by Demerond OF the private road
which winds past the bungalows in the
West Park colony and terminates high
up In the hills, where Mr.. Burroughs lives
An seclusion.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-25
BRYAN NOT A BoLTER.

Chillic9the. No. July 24-WiHiam J.
Bryan ytssc+day denied the story sent
out from IAncoln. Nebr.. that he would
lead d = from the Democrats conven-
ton in Nebraska and organize a rumr
CONVEX 1A
You may state" said Mr.. Bryan,
that whenever. there is anything TO say
in reference to >Jny attitude or inten.
tions on any subject. 1 viii say It my
self and in such a way as to leave nc
misunderstanding as 10 my meaning. ]
have given out no statement on tho sub.
ject mentioned In the Lincoln dispatch