davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1910-12-25

silks, wonderfully embroidered. and al
last jewels are added These are heavy
and badly set. Always there is single
gem pasted between the eyes on the fore
head This Is chosen TO bring out the
color Of the eyes. precisely as an Ameri-
can woman chooses a color in fabrics. A
nose ring is adjusted, huge earrings fol-
low. then innumeraDle chains, bracelets,
rings. &c.
After the toilet, what?
There is none 10 see the beautiful result
save other women VINO do not care. There
is no place TO go. SO what did We do?
Eat
When nothing else offers in a harem,
eat
And then be sure YOU do not exercise.
Lie on perfumei couch. with heavy
sweets and liquors at your elbow, cigar
cites at hand. a volume Of Z0la near by.
scores and scores Of phlegmatic. silent
women lie an around YOU
DO you wonder we slept from y 70 .?
II was that OF think and go mad. Then
another meal and If the afternoon cooled
or a trip TO the shops
But even this was undressing. Into
a cart We We're tucked and the blinds
drawn tight A watch.ul eunuch ran on
either side
Let a blind be dropped by a crafty
finger and the crack Of a whip followed.
Thinking perhaps / might be regarded
as different from the rest. dropped a
blind. and had my fingers well snapped
for my temerity.
The Washington herald., 1910-12-25

publication OF the Grant Memoirs. Of
which enough copies were sold to pay
a royalty of 100000 20 Grants widow
the largest royalty ever paid from any
single publication. Ii saved the Grant
family from poverty. but even this was
a disaster to Mark Twain. for it led to
scores of other book ventures, and even
tually the firm went to wreck in the
panic OF 1898.
In 1855 Mark Twain received from Yale
College the degree Of master Of arts. and
the same college made him a doctor Of
literature in 1901 A year later the uni
versity Of his own State at Columbia,
No. conferred the same degree. and
then. in 1907. came the browning honor,
when venerable oxford rendered him the
doctors robe
II don't know why they should give
me a degree like that" he said. quantity:
Il never doctored any literature; I
wouldn't know how. "
Mark Twain had al especial reason for
going TO Elmlra. On the Quaker City he
iluu mt Il 9UAliH -t4tii ~ Ailf tAttir Nl
Charles Langdon and one day in the Bay
of Smyrna had seen a miniature of the
boys sister. Olivia Langdon. then a girl
of about twenty-five. He fell in love with
that picture and still more deeply in love
with the original when he met her in
New York on his return The Langdon
home was in Elmira, and il was for this
4.
When the proofs Of "The Innocents
Abroad were sent him he took them
along and he and gentle. sweet "Livy'
LangdGn read them together What he
lacked in those days in literary delicacy
she detected. and together they pruned
il away. She became his editor that win
ter-a position which she held until her
death
The hook was published in July. 1862
and IFS success was immediate and
abundant. On his wedding dag, Febru-
The Washington herald., 1910-12-25

Wassail commenced 10 Wanc, and il IS
doubtful whether The present generation.
or even their grandparents. ever met
either Wassail or the wassai bowl, except
between the covers Of some old-ume ro-
nance. Now Or. Andrews Is reviving an
interest I'm the ancient custom Of using
the Wassail bowl on Christmas.
The Bowl Parade.
As Christmas falls on Sunday this year
the wassail bowl parade viii be held di-
rectly after Sunday school. in the after
noon. The gifts and money, after having
been carefully allotted 20 the needy ones
VIII be carried home by those who have
volunteered 20 distribute them, and they
will bring happiness into many homes on
Christmas Day.
This is only one side or the wassail
howl celebration as planned by Or. An
dreWs The secular phase Of il follows
the religious rite On December - there
will be given a WassaH bowl frohc at The
parsonage. All the maids are 90 bring
'Well-lined wsssail bowls The bowls be-
The Washington herald., 1910-12-25

Woe be unto any stranger, however inno-
cent, if ne takes one of these seats before
the owner gets there. It Is a thing no
German would DO. for they respect law
and order too much, but American tour
lists sometimes like to start something
by taking one OF these seats. and this is
surely a way
Cafe" Life Supreme.
Munich is the town where cafe life
reigns supreme. and it is a fine thing for
the struggling students there. A fire i'm a
room is very expensive and considered "a
great luxury in Munich, while a student
can go to a quiet cafe where it is all light
and warm. and do his studying. He does
not even need 10 order anything if he does
not want to- He just leaves a 2iz-cent
piece on the table and the waitress is
satisfied
The Cafe Modern on Theresian strasse
is a great favorite with the quieter stu
dents. 10 is a dear little German place.
quiet and home-like. Here you can get
a large and beautiful furnished room for
two marks go cents night 1t is kept
spotlessly clean. There is a charming
The Washington herald., 1910-12-25
REAL, CREWSOME GHOST STORIES ALWAYS IN SEASON

He appeared 10 be wearing a khaki uni
form, which was very much torn and
bloodstaned. His face was deathly white
and shockingly mutilated, and his eyes.
which were wide open and CLASSY were
fixed on me with a blank stare
1T was a horrid spectacle, and ] was
so shocked that ] fell back in my chair
feeling sick and faint, ] do not think the
manifestation lasted more than minute
az the most. a few days later ] read in
the paper that Mai. Wilson's party had
been ambushcd and cut 10 pieces on the
Shangani River. and among the names
Of the victims was that OF X
The Priest in the Barrel.
A friend Of the author. an artist. gives
a case OF the spirit OF a murdered priest
which haunted an old house in Birken-
head. She narrates the occurrence-the
absolute truth OF which she can vouch
for, "as can my aunts and sisters. and
as could my grandparents, If they were
allve"-in these words.
''The house was very high one. Il
had both attics and cellars. and in one
Of the attics there was a blood stain,
due. so / was told, to murder OF par
ticularly horrible nature. that had once
The Washington herald., 1910-12-25

York in a roar. which annoyed rather
than gratified its author He had thought
very little of il indeed. yet had been
wondering why some of his more highly
regarded work had not found fuller rec
ignition.
But che Jumping Frog did not die
Papers printed It and reprinted Il. and
il was translated into foreign tongues.
The name OF Mark Twain" became
known as the author Of that sketch, and
the two were permanently associated
from the day of its publication.
My Dear Mr.. Carnegie-I see by the
papers that you are very. prosperous. I
want to get a hymn-book. 1t costs six
shillings. / will bless you. God viii bless
you and it will DO a great deal Of good.
'P. s. Don't send me the hymn-book.
send me the six shillngs."
When you write to me you always
use a 2-cent stamp, and God viii punish
you for it. When the letter reaches me
here in Bermuda. IL is not delivered until
the legislature has passed a bill Of
amniy and indemnity, and this takes
three days and costs me $2M"
When 7 was city editor of the vir-
ginia City Enterprise" remarked Mark
Twain at a dinner in New York "a fine
turkey was one day left al the office
Turkeys were rare in that high altitude
and we all hankered after this bird The
proprietor, though, claimed it for his
own. Re took ii home and had it cooked
for dinner. The next day. as he was ex-
patiating on the turkeys richness and
tenderness. a letter was handed 10 him.
He opened il and read:
Mr.. Editor:
Sir-Yesterday ! sent you turkey
which has been the cause of much dis
pute among us. To settle a bet. win YOU
kindly ask your agricultural editor To
stale in to-morrow's issue what il died
of
The Washington herald., 1910-12-25

It is a very Italian place. and If you
take a menu. the first course is always
either macaroni or spaghetti
There was a crowd Of French people
that came here every day. one woman IA
the crowd was armed with an immense
lorgnette that she leveled al everybody
before she began TO eat IL was always
relief when she put it down. for every one
in that restaurant Quaked when she pick
ed her l0rgnette up
But it remains Tor the Neapolitans to be
the expert spaghetti mixture Of the world
one evening al little cafe in the old
fort. a Neapolitan lady went throgh the
most remarkable spaghetti mixing per-
Torrance that has ever been seen she
was an expert She used a spoon and
fork and tossed it high in the air. AMI
ever IL landed in the plate as it came
down Her escort was 5nthralled ami
silent with speeches. admiration, both for
the lady and for the spaghetti, When the
operation was completed they began 90
eat. but all the Americans turned their
backs and admired the moon-the beauti-
full. clear, round moon, coming behind old
Vesuvius across the BAY
The Washington herald., 1910-12-25

been PERFORATED there and on account
OF which the house was reputed TO be
haunted Runner said that in byg0ne
days the house had been inhabited by
priests, and that It was one of them who
had been killed. his body being taken
away in a barrel, In spite, however, or
the blood stain and the grim tales in
connection with it, my sisters and /, at
the commencement Of our tenancy Of the
house, used to play in the attic and moth
ing happened,
But at last there came night when
we awoke TO the fact that there was
a CHASTITY amount OF truth in what we
had heard. Some time after we had al
gone 10 bed we were all aroused (even
my practical old grandfather by three
loud knocks on one Of the doors, which
each OF us fancied was our Own. Then
there was silence, and then, from TIE
very top Of the house, where the attic
was situated, a barrel was rolled down
the stairs bump. bump. bump!
When it reached each separate land
ing. there was short interval, as II ne
barrel was settling itself before begin
ming its next journey. and then again,
bump, bump, fainter and fainter unui
it reached the cellar. when the sounds
ceased
The Washington herald., 1910-12-25

the wassal bowl in the form Of Il swing
ing basket. The figures were placed on a
platform, and given on Christmas Eve
into the charge Of five maidens, chosen
for the purpose. They, instead of telling
the story of the Natiyity-at the church
entrance-carried the Wassai bowl from
house 90 house. chanting as they went a
Christmas coral The money thus coll
lected was distributed among the poor on
Christmas morning. Many gifts Of food
and clothing we're received. and these
were likewise given TO the needy before
shutdown on the 18th OF December" This
custom held good between 1868 and ITl.
There is no record of It's use in the church
after that date,
From then the wassail bowl degenerated
into a wine vessel. and became the sym
bol of mad carousals Regular orgies were
held around the once sacred wassail bowl,
nor was il confined 10 the Christmas hoH-
dav. on weddings, birthdays, on days Of
victories when house fought house and
province slaughtered province. the one
time holy wdssai bowl was brought forth
and hiled 10 the brim many times over
The Washington herald., 1910-12-25

They wouldn't take my word that II was
a slipper they said they believed it was
a snowshoe that had some kind of a dis
ease.
But / have pulled through, and with
IN twenty-four hours Of the time / told
you ] would-day before yesterday. There
ought to be key 10 the designs, but I
haven't had time 10 get one up.
Take the slippers and wear them next
your heart, Elsie dear. for every stitch
in them is a testimony Of the affection
which two of your loyaleV friends bear
yon. Every single stitch cost us blood.
I've got twice as many pores in me now
as / used 10 have; and you would never
believe how many places you can stick
a needle into yourself until YOU go into
the embroidery line and devote yourself
to art
DO not wear these slippers in public.
dear il would only excite envy: and. as
like as rot somebody would try to shoot
you"
THE Gilded Age" published in 1873. re-
suited from the friendship of Warner and
Mark Twain The character OF Col.
Sellers in that book has become immrotal,
and it is a character that only Mark
Twain could create. for it embodies-and
in no very exaggerated degree-eharac-
teristics that were his own. The ten
dency to make millions was always i'm
minent; temptation was always hard t.
resist. Money-making schemes are con
tinually being placed before men Of
means and prominence. and Mark Twain
to the day of his death found such
schemes fatally attractive
1t was because Of the Sellers character
istics in him that he invested in a type
setting machine which cost him nearly
$500, 600 and helped to wreck his fortunes
by and by 1t was because Of this char
acteristic that he invested in numberiess
schemes of lesser Importance, but no
less disastrous in the end His one sue
cessful commercial venture was his as
ISOLATION with Charles l. Webster in the
The Washington herald., 1910-12-25

little court ar the back. where tables
are set when the weather is good. SCOT
only comes down once in a long while.
But il is Munich SCOT and you for
give it,
The main dining-room is very quiet
and orderly only once was it noisy and
that was the time a crowd Of American
tourists invaded the place. They upset
ali the order Of things here. even the
other American guests resenting their
presence, and then they left without
leaving a tip
An American is not an American when
he is loud, sef-important pompous
individual. and acts like a small boy
trying Co show off
Politely Turn Their Heads.
Well to get back to the modern Here
every one minds there own business. and
no one stares. Two spOoners came to
the place each evening and the Ger
mans politely turned their heads away.
1t was always the lady in question who
sets the bail a-roIling by placing her hand
on his. but this is the German way
The Washington herald., 1910-12-25

clothes. however, when the caretaker de-
scribed them, Mrs Elmore Immediately
identified with certain garments she had
az home.
AS they proceeded to explore the
house IL began to dawn on Mrs. Gilmore
that the face OF the old woman was
strangely familiar. and, on ascending the
main staircase. she at once recognized
the landing and passages as those she
had been continually dreaming about
during the past year, Pointing to one
of the closed doors, she exclaimed. That
is my favorite room with the pretty blue
wallpaper, the blue carpet and the
quaint inlaid cabinet standing opposite
the foot Of the old oak bedstead'
THE caretaker again almost tainted in
establishment III is Just as YOU describe,
ma'am. she exclaimed THE Deli is in
it
4 Phantasm of Title.
But Mr. ODonnell has himself seen
phantasms Of some OF his friends OF
one such personal experience he gives
the following particulars:
"One New Years Eve. few years ago.
] was al small country station in the
Midands. waiting for the Birmingham
The Washington herald., 1910-12-25

and gave several limitations of darkies.
The limitations were very poor, bat evil
IDENTIFY very funny, for the Germans were
Convuised with mirth-
Cafe Luitpold. also in Munich. is p
world-famous cafe. Either il was named
for the prince regent or the prince regent
was named for it-just which way it runs
has long been forgotten. Al the Cafe
Luitpold each waitress buys her own set
OF magazines and papers. so that her own
customers can always be supplied. There
is great rivalry here among the wait
resseS for the favor OF the customers,
and waitress gets highly insulted if one
of her regular customers sits at another
table.
one Of the incest cafes in all Germany
is the Beievidier. in Dresden. They have
a fne orchestra here. The most forlorn
individual in an the world is waiter in
this cafe. UnluCky fate gave him the
tables right under the orchestra, and they
are nearly always empty. And he stands
with his menu stuck in his vest longing
for the dear little tenphenning pieces that
the little tin gods have denied him.
Florence has only one good restaurant.
but why long for others as long as the
Gambrinus TeiEns.
The Washington herald., 1910-12-25

was neither a Democrat nor a Republi-
can The Fiji islanders abuse of Cain
ceased very suddenly when the white man
mentioned casually that Cain was a FIJI
Islander. The next remark Of the saw
age after an awkward pause was. Well,
what did Abel come fooling around there
for?'"
in 1880 Mark Twain wrote to Elsie
Leslie Lyde, who was playing Little
Lord Faunteroy" the following
Hartford, Get 3, 80.
Dear Elsie-The way of it was this
Away last spring, Gillette and pooled
intellects on this proposition: to get up a
pleasant surprise Of some kind for you
against your next visit-the surprise to
take the form of a tasteful and beautiful
testimonial of some sort or other, which
should express somewhat of the love we
felt for you. Together we hit upon just
the right thing-a pair of slippers Either
one Of US could have thought of a single
slipper, but It took both Of US to think
of two slippers. In fact, one of US did
~---n-- =. cs-- slipper, and then, quick as
a flash. the other thought Of the other
one. II shows how wonderful the human
mind is. It is really archaeological; you
give one mini a bone, and the other one
instantly divines the rest OF the mind.
Gillette embroidered his slipper with
astonishing facility and splendor. but /
have been a long time pulling through
with mine. You see. it was my very first
attempt in art, and ! couldn't rightly get
the hang of it alon. at first And then
was so busy that / couldn't get a chance
to work at it at home. and they wouldn't
let me enbroider on the cars; they said
it made the other passengers afraid. They
didn't like the light that fiared into my
eyes when ] had an inspiration And
even the most fair-niinded people doubt
ed me when ! explained what il was I
was making-especially brakemen. Brake
men always swore at it. and carried on,
the way ignorant people DO, about art
The Washington herald., 1910-12-25

except that in THIS innovation 81 the
boys are bHndf0lGed. The object is 10
catch the girl fairly and squarely under
the wassail bowl. This wassail bowl IS
suspended from the ceiling ia the center
Of the room and is filled with holly.
From il swings a card, on which IS
printed.
There's naught amiz in the Christmas kis
That's stolen beneath the hollis.
Mr.. Andrews is TO act as umpire, and
when he calls Tag Bessie Bcssies
"wassail" may demand payment Of that
Christmas kiss There is no danger ~
stiff fornalities existing after this roll
licking game. Later in the evening steam
ing lemon and ginger punch and cid
fashioned gingerbread will be served, the
former in a Wassail bowl AS planned.
this novel. old-time Christmas celebra-
ton, dressed up TO suit the demands OF
1919 should be a splendid success. The
Wassaii dolls viii be- kept from year 10
year. and each season be made the
means Of bringing good cheer 10 lonely
and desolatc homes,
The Washington herald., 1910-12-25

airy ,, 1870, Clemens received a check from
his publishers for more than $1,000. roy
atty accumulated during the three months
preceding. The sales soon amounted 10
more than $4,000 copies. and had increased
to very nearly 100000 at the end of the
first three years. That was forty years
ago. II was book of travel; its lowest
price $3.50. Even with our increased
reading populati ton no such sale is found
for a book Of that description to-day.
And THE InnOcents Abroad holds its
place-stil outsells every other book in
its particular field
Mark Twain once asked a neighbor II
he might borrow a set of his books. The
neighbor replied. ungraciously, that he
was welcome 10 read them in his library.
but he had a rule never 10 let his books
leave his house. Some weeks later tho
same neighbor sent over to ask for the
loan of Mark Twain's lawn-mower.
Certainly" said Mark, but since ]
make it a rule never to let it leave my
lawn you viii be obliged TO use it there.
Artemus Ward on a transconunental
tour, lectured al Virginia City. New,
and, meeting Mark Twain one evening.
heard the frog story.
Write III out. he said; write it out
fully and send it to me for a volume Of
sketches that I am preparing for Garlic
ton. the publisher. Send it to Carleton.
in New York"
Clemens agreed to do so, but he was
slow in preparing the manuscript When
it reached Carleton. Wards book was
about ready for the press. and it did not
seem worth while TO Carleton to include
the frog story. He handed il over TO
Henry Clapp. editor Of the Saturday
Press-a perishing sheet-sayng
Here. Clapp. here's something you can
use"
The story appeared in the Saturday
Press of November IS. 1864 According 10
the accounts of that time. it set al New
The Washington herald., 1910-12-25

ing provided by the parson. They are
quaint japanese bowls, resembling IN
shape Indian baskets. and are made Of
beautiful lacquer ware. Into these each
girl is To place all sorts OF goodies. and,
placing her card therein she viii bring
f. 20 the parsonage and hand il over to
the maid at the door. The bowls are TO
be carried 10 the hall leading 10 the din
ing-room and placed on long table. The
frolic is TO commence at $50 p. m, and
is 10 be a supper and "A Christmas romp
The supper Wjll be provided by the par
soma regular old English supper. with
turkey, cranberrias. and plum pudding.
The more modern "fXings' are TO be in
the Wassail bowls
select Bowl BIindfolded.
Ten minutes before supper the BOYS will
file out In the han and. blindfolded, Sc
lect their bowls The name found therein
dcsignates their partner for supper am
for the drst game which follows This
game is "wsssaii bluff, really a coed,
old-fashioned game Of blind mans buff.
The Washington herald., 1910-12-25

Frun Harper & Bros Compilation.
TT was one December that Mr.. Glenn
ems came to Washington clad all in white.
from his hat TO his patent leather shoes.
in the interest Of a bin 10 give authors
greater copyright privileges.
Mr.. Clemens presented a letter 10 the
Speaker asking for the thanks OF Con-
eress which would entitle him to the floor
privilege and enable him to lobby for the
bin. Here is the letter which Is in the
hmorists own hand writing and has
been treasured by "Uncle Joe" ever
since:
New Willard Hotel, Dec. Z, 1905.
Dear Uncle Joe-Please get me the
thanks of COngress-nOt next week, but
right away Il is very necessary Do
accomplish this for your affectionate old
friend-and right away. BY persuasion
il you can. BY violence If you must
For it is lmperatiyeiy necessary that I
get on the floor for TWO or three hours
and talk to the members, man by man, in
behalf Of the support. encouragement,
and protection of one of the nation most
valuable assets and industTies-its lit
erature. / have arguments with me
also a barrel with liquid in it,
Get me chance, Get me the thanks
Of Congress. Don't wait for the others
there is not time Furnish them to me
yourself and let Congress ratify later
have stayed away and let Congress alone
for seventy-one years and am entitled to
the thanks. Congress knows this perfect
~ we'll; and I have long felt hurt that
this quite proper and earned expression
Of gratitude has been merely felt by the
House and never publicly uttered.
Send me an order on the Sergeant-at-
arms
quick"
A man who knew Mark Twain in those
DAYS said
''All that part Of his early writings are