The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1910-05-25

MAxIMs OF MARK TWAIN.


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Mark Twain selected this one To
adorn the page following the title of
one of his books
These VISIONS are for the Turing
of youth toward high oral attitudes.
The author did not gather them from
ipractice, but from observation. To be
good is to be noble; but to show others
how to be good is nobler and no trou
BILE" Some of the other maXims read:
Noise proves nothing. The peach
was once a bitter almond; caulinow-
or is nothing but cabbage with a col.
legc education"
'The autocrat of Russia possesses
more power than any other man in the
earth; but he cannot stop a sneeze."
Habit is habit, and not to be flung
out of the window by any man. but
lcoaxed downstairs a step at a time"
"One Of the most striking differences
between a cat and a lie is that a cat
has only nine lives"
when I reflect upon the number of
dtSagreeable people who | know have
gone to a better world. am moved to
lead a different life"
THE true Southern watermelon is
"A boon apart, and not 20 Toe mentioned
with commoner things. 1t is chief OF
this worlds luXuries, king by the grace
Of God over all the fruits of the earth.
h., 10. 4.
the angels eat. 1t was not a South
ern watermelon that Eve took; we
know it because she repented."
"Be good and you will be lonesome"
Few things are harder to put up
with than the annoyance of a good
example"
ut were not best that we should all
think alike; is is difference of opinion
that make horse races"
Even the clearest and most perfect
circumstantial evidence is likely to be
at fault, after all. and, therefore, ought
to be received with great caution Take
the case of any pencil sharpened by
any woman; if you have Witnesses
you will find she did it with knife;
but if you take simply the aspect of
the pencil you will say she did it with
her teeth"
April l. This is the day upon which
we are reminded of what we are on the
other 364'
"The English are mentioned i'm the
Bible; blessed are the meek. for they
shall inherit the earth"
Adam and Eve had many adven-
lures, but the principal one was that
they escaped teething."
"Trhere is this trouble about special
rovidences-namely, there is so often
"A doubt as to which party was intend
ed TO be the beneficiary. In the case
of the children, the bears and the
prophet, the bears got more real sat
isfaction out of the episode than the
prophet did because they got the chill
dren"
There is no character. howsoever
good and line, but II can be destroyed
bv ridicule. howsoever poor and wit
less. Observe the ass for instance; his
character is about perfect; he is the
choicest spirit among all the humber
animals. yet see what ridicule has
brought him TO. Instead of feeling
complimented when we are called an
ass, we are left in doubt"
Consider well the proportions of
things. II rs better to he a young
juno bug than an old bird of paradise
"why is IL that we rejoice at n birth
and grievc at funeral? II is because
we are not the personally involved
All say. How hard II Is that we
have to die'-a strange complaint to
come from the mouths of people who
have to live"
ut is easy to find fault If one has
that disposition. There was once
man who, not being able to find any
other fault with his coal, complained
that there were too many prehistoric
toads In e."
"when angry count four; when very
angry, swear"
"The holy passion OF friendship Is of
so sweet and steady and loval and
enduring nature that " viii last
through a lifetime. II not asked to lend
money"
"Classic.' \ book which people
praise and don't read"
"The man with new idea Is n
crank until the idea succeeds"