The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-01-04

land or your lass."-(Copyright is1o
by Associated Literary Press.)
HUAOR OF THE Day
you s wan snt to see the prssldsnt." Have
have my. eye on something. IVY that's xst' G %sa,
POST maht 10 see him Misunderstanding
o9 go an the ssIar eG ia tee
press. "'one' -ounaio Elk
until vf f poii ss9 ss my Christmas shopping
ter" so many people are So,nS maj
Christmas shoppinE early that op can't th set
near the Stores detroit Free Press.
Why don't you sue him for breach of
Rabif wnat 81 f That 9sd the .5 Postcard
atockyards."-Ka City j R'Sfnsi OF the
me no speakee Chinese velly we'll" ex-
planned the hostess on welcoming the dis
tinguished visitor from the Flowery King
IT can converse in English. "-Louisvjiie
Courier Journal.
" spelling words. from a first : reader,
:, how can n. tel which is q d. and which
THE "a has its furrny on its back. .Ts..
Bits.
A South Side man claims that the jani-
is the meanest janitor on earth. HE
never gives US half enough steam during
night the conditions are simply awful
Why, ] frequently wake up and hear my
wife's teeth chattering on the bureau
Madam am SO fond OF Browningl
Adam-Then why not put little more Of
Lottie-So your efforts to win the rich
heiress were fruitless, Ell? Tom-Fruit-
less! oh, no! / got the lemon.-Boston
Transcript
Rollingstone Nomoss-n you could be
Tatterdon Torn-Sportin' editor of de Con-
gressional Observation-Disclosures Record.
I want you to officiate at the funeral.
Deacon Jones-But I didn't know him.
Caler-Good 3d.. You're just the man want.
''Is she good at pyrography?" You bet.
specially her apple pies."-Baltimore
Thompson-Suppose man should call
you liar, what would you do? Jones
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES sized man?-Jewish
Ledger.
How do v know, old man?' Saw the
minister for the first time in six months"
Puck.
Husband-That's hideous vase on the
piano. Wife-Yes: will send it to some
one for Christmas, If don't forget
Harper's Weekly.
cynicus-That girl never says much,
does she? Sillicus-Why. she talks all the
Observation-Disclosures Record.
The time to save is when you're
doesn't earn anything fin he gets we'll
along and then it costs more to hve."-
Boston Herald.
Count Hickoff-Ze weather is so queer
over here 1 must get my overcoat out.
In ne what way? The HeiressN . TiGk1 you
haven't lost the ticlxet.-Chicago Daily
News.
make with this vessei?" Cant make any
just now; we're tied up.'-Beitimore
American.
But money doesn't always lead to hap
piness." said the poor young man who
True reJoined the fair owner of the
cold-storage heart; but 1t often facili-
tates the search. Chicago Daily News.
'Why don't you go to work." I'm so
dead tired of doing nothing that I'm too
tired to do anything. cleveland Leader.
Jack-I was in a box at the opera last
night. Tom-Were you? Jack-I should
say 1 was 1 took two ladies there and
then discovered that 1 had left the tickets
at home--Boston Transcript
'Im glad you've dropped in, Mrs.
Irons" said Mrs. Lapsling. cordially
dreary day for me- and a call from q
| friend is like an Osiris in the desert. -
| Chicago Tribune.
| He-We'd have won the football game If
our captain hadn't lost his head. She
Mercy! Was it SO bad as that? heard
! it was only an CHARLESTON Transcript.
|
QUAKER NEGOTIATIONS.
IFrom the Philadelphia Record.J
| Many a man goes to seed before he
| has ever blossomed.
/ It's just as we'll to look a gift auto
| mobile in the gasoline tank.
/ When people won't even Quarrel
about religion they are truly amiaole.
1 hak