Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-05-24
TARIFF NEVER SLEEPS
We Pay Tribute to 1t When We
Eat, Drink and Dress, and
Even When We Shave.
WHAT IT COSTS TO LIVE.
Experience of Payne's Tariff Erect
ed Temple Shows It Needs An
other Investigation.

The man-wbo-wants-to-kn ow-what-
the-tarif-costs him every day-of-his-
life has a chance to do some more fig
uring, now that the Payne law is in
full swing and the congressional cleo
lions are coming on. The tariff works
while a man sleeps, but perhaps it is
enough to see what it does to him dur
ing his waking hours, from the time
he gets out of bed in the morning until
he strikes the couch again at night
and even these calculations fail to take
IN the bed.
Arising and DOMINIC an imported
bath robe which pays a duty of a.
cents a pound and so per cent ad val
orem, our friend cleans his teeth with
a 40 per cent toothbrush, using tooth
powder, paste or soap taxed at 60 cents
pound, with so per cent ad valorem
thrown in for good measure, cores
condent of the Boston Transcript says.
He must smooth his haiY anyway, even
If it takes a 40 per cent hairbrush to
do it, and if he shaves, with his 40 per
cent shaving brush, he may soothe the
irritated skin with bay rum if some
one has paid $1.75 a gallon at the Gus
tom house to get it into the country.
If he Is exquisite enough to use cos
metic, he will find this luxury pro-
tected at the same rate as the tooth
paste, while the towels on which he
dries his hands may have brought the
government a revenue Of IA cents a
square yard plus 80 per cent of the
value.
If our hero dresses like other men,
he will first proceed to array himself
In his humble underwear-$2.25 per
dozen and So per cent If cotton and Al
cents pound and 60 per cent if wool
en-. His stockings may come in at 81
dozen pairs and Is per cent, his linen
shirt at 60 per cent, his collar at 40
cents dozen and 20 per cent and his
cuffs at the same paternal rates. A
pair of so per cent cuff buttons. go
per cent silk necktie and suit of
wooden clothes, with so to 80 per cent
of tariff burden will equip him for the
street, with the exception of Is per
cent pair of shoes and so per cent
linen handkerchief. If he brushes his
ticle, he must pay The government 40
per cent of its cost for the privilege.
Tariff ON the Breakfast.
The breakfast table now looks invit-
ing, though perhaps it would not If he
stopped to figure just what it would
cost to equip it under the Payne law.
He could not dodge the 1A cents a
yard and 80 per cent additional on his
linen tablecloth or his napkins, for
those articles are little If at all made
in the United States He might save
60 per cent by using American china
ware and glassware or As per cent If
he would buy his silverware in this
country, but his pepper must cost him
8 cents a pound more than it Is worth
to provide revenue, and his sugar pays
duty of nearly cents pound With
the vinegar in its shining little jar at
71a cents gallon. surrounding 40 per
cent pickles, little cent butter on
his plate, or pitcher of cent maple
strip in place of 1t, our hero may put
in his coffee cream taxed 5 cents a
gallon, or may drink instead cocoa or
chocolate which has paid so per cent
duty. The government protects the
cornmeal of which his bread is made
at 40 cents a hundred pounds, although
the United States raises more corn
than most of the rest of the world and
exports it everywhere; and If our hero
prefers wheat bread he may know that
it could not be made from the superior
hard wheat of Canada without paying
% cents a bushel on the wheat, or %
per cent on the. -four. If the hungry
statistician preferred imported biscuits
he would hand the government 20 per
cent of their value before eating them.
If he would have Canadian instead of
Aroostook potatoes-and Maine pota-
toes are the best in the world and pro-
tect themselves against foreign pota-
toes duty paid-he would be soothed
with the knowledge that an all-wise
government was pocketing 25 cents on
every bushel he consumes In fact.
our hero would learn by this time that
the only free articles he had encoun-
tered thus far were tea and coffee,
and Mr. Payne wanted very much to
tax coffee, while some of the Senators
would have taxed tea 10 cents a pound
had they not feared popular upris-
ing.
The foregoing would make a rather
limited breakfast, but it is possible
to lay out a tariff bill of fare for
breakfast-or luncheon, If you choose
to call it that-which has its interest
ing features. without beginning to ex-
haust the list of dutiable foodstuffs to
be found on the table of the most hum
BILE American. Here is list of FIVE
courses. with their tariff equivalents,
which may be something of an eye
opener to men and women who think,
rightly or wrongly, that the protective
tariff has materially increased the cost
of living:
Halibut. sailed. picked or
smoked tper lb.) -....... sc
Halibut, canned Cad valorem) !. 300
HAM AND EeGs.
Ham tper lb.) ................- &c
Eggs tper dozen) ........-.... sc
Lard tper 3D. ................. 1 &c
MEAT.
Beef. fresh (per lhl .-....... 1iac
Beef. prepared or preserved tad
VaioremD ........-.-. .z5Sc
BAKED BEANS.
Beans tper cu-l ....,.- {5c
Pork. salted or fresh tad valo-
rem) 1850
Molasses tper gallon) ......... &c
CHICKEN.
Chicken lper lbl ......... SC
FRUIT.