Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-05-20


Wlgwag-I never knew such a fell
low as Bjonesl He is always looking
for trouble, Henpecked- why
doesn't he get married? Boston
Courier,
Willie-Ma, can't l go out on the
street for a little while? Tommy
Jones says there's a comet to be seen.
Mother Wen, yes; but don't you go
too near.
1t wasn't much trouble to wind up
poor cid Sleezem's affairs when he
died MOP" "All the property he
left behind was silver watch. "-Blr-
mingham Age-Herald.
My new hat is a poem, she said
enthusiastically. Il have just received
the Dill for it, replied he. Il don't
understand these stories of so many
poets dying in poverty w Washington
Star
why do you make that patient wait
three hours every day in your ante
room?" He needs rest" explained
the doctor. and that is the only way
can compel him to take it."-Cour-
ier.Journal
English is a funny language, after
all isn't it2' why SOP" Il heard a
man talking OF a political candidate
the other day say; If he only takes
this stand when he runs he'll have
walk-over.
Fancier-This dog, madam, would be
cheap at 500 Lady would take
him, but Pm afraid my husband might
object Fancier Madam, you can get
another husband much easier than a
dog like that
Squire Durnitt tof LoneIyyille}--
Our towns got the four biggest liars
in the State, Uncle Welby Gosh (of
Drearyhurstl- ~ guess that's right.
You're three of EN- Who's the fourth?
Chicago Tribune
Chief of Detectives-N give us a
description of your missing cashier.
How tall was he? Business Mani
don't know how tall he was What
worries me Is that he was $4,000
| short Philadelphia Record
Have you been married. Bridget?"
'rwicot, mum" And have you any
children 'Yis, mumI've three.
One be tn third wife av me second
husband. an two be the second wife
/ aV me first cleveland Leader
My dear brother" said the eleri-
cal looking man. are you doing any
thing to keep your brother from fall
hn
I'm interested in concern that
manufactures lamp-posts!" Boston
Courier
Mrs Starvem-flow do you like the
chicken soup, MIR. Newhord? Mr.
Newbord-Oh- lis this chicken
soup? Mrs Starvem Certainly. how
do you like It? Mr.. Newbord Well
er--it's certainly very tender. --Catho-
lie Standard and Times.
Author-EIave courage, my boy,
tried for ten years to sell my manu-
script and finally Literary Aspi-
rant-You succeeded? Authorize.
was the means of raising TIE local
postoifice from the third to the second
class.~-Chicago Daily News
Il believe we ought to have a
change in our constitution, providing
that only citizens who could read and
write good English should be permit
ted TO vote" What's your object?
DO you want to shut out the college
graduates?' Chicago Record Herald.
Before we were married" sighs the
fond wife, you used to call me up by
longdistance telephone just to hear
my voice" Well" retorts the rebel
lious husband, nowadays you won't
let me get far enough from you to
use the long-distance. Chicago Post.
Il endeavor not TO make any dis
tinction as TO my servants" says the
new mistress. MY rule is to treat
each of them az one of the family"
Yes, mum" replies the new girl.
but if it's all the same to you I'd
rather be treated with respect. Chi
cago Post.
so you think the buffers are fax
ing about their extended European
tour II should say so. They said
there were so many Americans In Ven
ice that many had to walk In the
middle Of the street," "Well?' why,
the streets of Venice are CANALS
Springfield Union.
The Man-Did you notice that wom-
an We just passed? The Woman-The
one with blond puffs and a fur hat
and military cape. who was dread
faily made mp. and had awfully soiled
gloves on? The Man-Yes, that one.
The Woman-No, / didn't notice her
Leader.
Mrs Crimsonbeak--It is said that
the five great original forests of the
United States covered eight hundred
and fifty million acres and contained
nifty two billion feet OF lumber. Mr..
those days, you ser,
there was some place for a man to 90
when lis wife cleaned house.-Yonk-
ers Statesman.
Il understand. Miss Araminta" said