The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-01-20
OLD PAP PINKHAM.
He Breaks Up Meeting and Holds
Interviews.

drought in July completely burned up
the buckwheat crop in this county, and
pancakes will be worth 10 cents apiece
next winter. OF course. it was an act
of Providence. Providence thought we
were getting a little too cocky and the
buckwheat was taken away from us to
bring about proper humiliation of
| spirit. It's as easily figured out as
| two and two. I made up my mind a
month ago, however. that certain folks
would make the buckwheat business an
| excuse to cause trouble for you, and
| I began keeping my eyes open.
| Ten days since Silas Goodheart, who
claims that Hisgen was overwhelming
! ly elected, but was counted out, began
walking around Jericho and throwing
out dark hints about you and the fail
| ure of the buckwheat, and had every
reason to anticipate what followed.
While I was over at Dobb's Ferry the
other day he called public meeting,
| had himself elected as chairman, and
then proceeded TO introduce the follow
| ing preamble and resolutions:
Whereas. William H. Taft was elect
| ed president against popular will of
| the stare of Nebraska and part of
some other state; and
Whereas, He promised us eggs at 1s
cents dozen and bacon at 10 cents
pound: and 's3
whereas, We, were promised that
| money would be plenty and none of
this crowd has got enough Of the
QOuSn 10 Duy a IGDlOIls anu,
Whereas. Scores OF his other prom
| Uses have not been kept, and at the
| present moment this country is on the
verge of a tremendous upheaval; now,
| therefore,
Resolved. That we. the sovereign
people. believe and hold the said w.
| H. T. responsible for the absence of
rain and the destruction of the buck
wheat crop that would otherwise have
gone to cheer. console and strengthen;
and it is further
Resolved, That as a country depriv-
| ed Of its buckwheat is also deprived of
it's prosperity and ambition, and moth
ing is left for it but to do as heroical-
ly as possible. that we, the citizens of
! Jericho, proceed to raise, blank and
cause the streets of this town to run
deep with gore; and, be it further
Resolved, That we begin on the gore
of Old Pap PInkham and gradually take
in other gore until the meadows of
America have been converted into lakes
of ruby hue; and. once more,
Resolved, That John D. Rockefel-
ler's chickens were acquired by the
sweat and blood of thousands of starv-
ing patriots, and the said starving
patriots are to assemble on the public
square an hour hence and march to
the coops and slaughter and devour
everything with feathers on it, and if
| interfered with by mercenary police
or soldiery to die with the leg of
roast chicken firmly held between the
Jaws Sic Semper Tyranis!"
AS soon as he discovered what was
coming before the meeting, Elder Ly-
sander johnson relephoned me to
try would be lost. / commandered
milk wagon and put the CAD on the
horse, and arrived just as the above
resolutions were to be put to VOTE
William, they say that the painting of
Colonel Roosevelt charging up San
Wan Hill makes the beholder tingle
from head to heel and want to get
out and lick some one. There will
never be a painting of Pap Pinkham
charging into Eagle hall. I can't af-
ford it, and a grateful country will
turn me down with something cheap
err
My action was heroic. It was i'm
mense AS 1 landed from the milk
wagon Strengthened up and charged,
and everything gave way before me.
No flags nor banner nor music. Jest
solid chunks of Bunker Hill. had
Silas Goodheart by the neck and out
ran down the cutters and emptied
with a smothered roar into Goose
creek was his. Jest two minutes and
I had him licked and the bulwarks of
Liberty popped up stronger than be-
fore. Not a chicken slaughtered nor
millionaire roasted alive. AS 1 rose
up to wash the ensanguined hue from
my hands the doves of peace and con-
tentment were cooling all over Jericho,
and the peril had passed away.
William, want no praise nor re-
ward for my action. You are to ap-
point Mrs. Pinkham postmistress of
Jericho and me to something else
when the proper time comes, and that
will be reward enough. The owner OF
the milk wagon is suing me for SO
damages, but that is a private matter.
During the next two days I sold over
200 pounds of Goldfish and 100 gallons
of N. o. molasses, and if beaten in the
suit shall still be ahead of the game.
William, / want to ask If you have
MT made mistake about that income
tax. Sometimes I think you have.
think the people as whole are agfn
it. It's the proper caper to make the
rich men pay up, but is the income
tax going to do it? This question has
agitated my mind until I have made
an effort to solve it. I have held vari-|
Gus interviews with various citizens,
and I give you the result below