davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30
rs His First Job.
shington. Jan. 80, 1909

t.hington. Jan. 80, 1909,
| I'VE become a member
Nh. I've got all the de-
, ,.1I-fledged. / guess you
d ali about. So did l
,ra. We'll. It's the lnde-
Bone Hunters. and it's
ae members OF congress
>,6il for getting their own
\ 5oIpg their level best to
constituents.
me- long after / reached
discoyer that there's s
-orressmen. One kind
>e OF Statesmen. and the
politicians. The states
I1e from the big ciues.
teas. wear good clothes.
.oars. always wear a now-
',ohoIe, call on the presi-
a while make a speech
hat nobody cares a darn
are the fellows who
outset 10 serve their
: try TO get a new post
,r the home town; get
the old soldiers In their
Feeds to the farmers.
hard to get jobs for the
! ed them TO get TO con-
I'm a Politician.
he last Kind. ] am d
!. don't care who knows
this Is all preliminary
hat an awful time I've
la land a job for Ed
how how much Ed did
mpaigu. You know that
10 bed that night and
tA of the delegates that
lie short OF the number
Ate, and you also know
nike up the next morn
more than i needed.
have done any better
III made up my mind
that II j ever landed
!. IA try to place Ed In
And you know he was
.rly everybody in the
came here the week
oath OF office and put
] III hotel in the District
! Ne talked IL over and
!, or what place would
for him. and | sort of
hi that he was cut out
the diplomatic service.
lhe principal embassa-
nnd that they had al
sIed out Ia great editors
and other no-account
rlIv decided that he
olay for the position OF
mister TO the Argentine
pays ten thousand a
6bout Eds size. Well
lead earnest. They say
Raleigh could toll ter
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30
STOMACH ILLS SOON FORGOTTEN.

There nothing distressing and diScouragng to person
tortured day and day with stomach complaint
impossible to derive benefit from food and result
rapidly. If the
describes condition. really ought to oseers
Btters will world of good Thousands
persons during the past sc and the results
satisfactory can't afford neglect this mat
by doing only inviting serious Illness Tie
Bs excellent in of Poor Appetite Bechng Boatng u
Dyspepsia Covenes Bousncss Colds Grippe General
Weakness Malaria Fever and Get bottle today from
any druggist dealer
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30

balls at the principal seaports. Five
minutes before T. o'clock: the telegraph
companies stop all business. and throw
open every circuit, so that the electric
impulse Is instantancously transmitted TO
every town In the United States. and by
wireless TO vessels all along the coast
Commander Hayden when he WAS
very young man. In 1881 took part in
an exploring expedition along the sum-
mlts OF the Cascade range in California
and up into Oregon. With MIR. Dillcr Of
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30

took the tumble by easy stages so 20
speak. AS n result, however. he was
badly bruised and cut. and one Of his
legs had later TO be amputated. Thus
II is that at the present time. instead
Of commanding a war vessel. he is con-
tent TO undertake the task OF setting the
clocks FOR the people OF the United States
10 10 by.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30

the United States geological survey, he
ascended the procipitous cliffs which en-
circle Crater lake. and on that remark
able body OF water the TWO men set atloat
the FIRST craft ever navigated there-a
raft composed of logs which they had
thrown down from above, and which they
fastened together with halter straps. BY
this means. at some risk. they made their
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30
nidn,t Live in Utah.
Special Cable to The Tribune.

SpeClaI CdhIe 10 TIC IIIDuEe'
PARIS. Jan. pa telegram from
Evreuz, in Normandy, says that work
ingman named Mallet, employed as an
ironmouger in large factory belonging
TO NJ. Roger Delahavc, has lust inher-
tied nearly $l0,000.000, left to him by
n relative. who died in America. 1t
is not known in what part of America
the wealthy relative lived.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30
Collie and Disrrhoea.

These diseases are quickly cured by
Chamberlain s Collie, Cholera and Diar-
rhoea Remedy. This remedy has been
IN use for many years, and has wide
reputation for its cures of these dis
eases. For sale by all druggists.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30
Scotland Grows Tobacco.
Cable to The Tribune.

Special Cable to The Tribune.
GLASGOW. Jan. 29.-The first tobac
co grown in Scotland for 200 years has
been purchased by the Irish Tobacco
company, and has been sent TO Randles-
town to be rehandled at Col. Everand's
factory. The tobacco was grown by
w. Montgomerie Nelson of Queens.
hill. in Kirkoudbrightshire. and is OF
the yellow prior variety.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30
English Officers Use Drug.
Special Cable TO The Tribune.

Spec!al Gable TO Ihe Tribune.
CAIRO, Jan. 29-The fact that Brit
ish officers in Egypt are becoming adj
dicted to the use of hasheesh was de-
vcloped by the arrest OF several of
ficers AT Malta, who were implicated
in smuggling the drug into Egypt for
use by army officers, One commits
stoned officer and four non-commis-
stoned officers have been cashiered.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30

way TO the strange volcanic cone which
rises as an island far out from the shore.
Later on. when the party had ascended
ono of the three lofty volcanic peaks
known as the Three Sisters. Hayden VEN
tured too near TO the crumbly edge OF a
cliff II gave way beneath him. and he
fell 200 feet Fortunately. the cliff was
by no means perpendicular. and thus he
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30
Is Entitled to Medal,
| Cable to The Tribune.

Special Gable to The Tribune.
PARIS, Jan GA woodcutter
named Grassett of Givry, near Fontaine.
blcau. ought TO be presented 10 Mr.
became the father on Monday of twins
his twenty-second and third child.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30
DETAILED BY HIMSELF
BY GEORGE BARTON
He Bags His First Job for Constituent.

called out in his most insinuatlng voice:
Keep up your spirits, my buckley.
you've only got three more stories to go.
Real Genial office Holder.
l came across a real genial offlceholder
the other day. He is the appointment
clerk clerk, IN n, one ne OF the big depar5menntsI,l i
an albright fellow He has held office
ever since Lincoln was president. and
shows no Sign of giving up. He said he
that ! believed that to the victors belong
the spoils he grabbed me by the hand
and shook 1t as II he had found a long,
lost friend. Those are my sentiments
he cried. Il like to see a man who looks
after his constituents. / can remember
well when men like James G. Blaine,
Platt. James A. Garfield and Sam RAN
dali made the rounds OF the departments
regularly in search Of Jobs for their con-
stituents Blaine was the most persist
ent OF them all and | Will never forget
how he came In one day and asked me
10 appoint one of his friends who lived
in Bangor. l told him I'd made the ef-
fort. and he responded with that never
to-be- forgotten voice OF his. Do this for
me. old man. and you'll earn my ever
lasting gratitude,
Tells Another Good Story.
He told me a good story OF another bu-
veau chief who was sent for at the be-
ginning OF Cleveland's administration by
secretary hdIOlIS, tUe Hedu Ol the lTtds-
ury department. Manning looked at him
curiosly for n moment, and then said In
"A sarcastic way;
II understand. my friend. that you are
a Republican,"
The reply was. That's not so"
well. you are not a Democrat. are
you?"
mo. I am not a Democrat.
well. what in the world are you?'
81 am an administration man. the
proud response.
Manning chuckled at this.
But you know" he said, "the admin
istration has changed"
$50 have l." was the triumphant reply.
There never was an administration that
could change any quicker than l can"
His retort saved him his job
Received Many Lemons.
All OF this was very interesting for
me, but 1t didn't get the place for Ed.
So / went home and sat down and wrote
letters TO all the heads of all the de-
partments in bureaus that I'd not already
visited. setting forth Eds claim for job.
The answers came in due course. Most
Of them were In stIlted language and
they all told the same tale. Yes. Bill.
I've got to confess IL. Every one OF
those letters contained n lemon. Most
OF them were written by private secre-
taries or chief clerks. but that didn't
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30

make IL any better for me. / am wanted
at the telephone, so I'll have to hurricdly
close this letter Your
UNCLE JOHN.
p. S.-Glve three cheers and hang out
the American flag. I've got great news.
I've landed a Job for Ed. / just got
word over the telephone that he has been
appointed second assistant aid In the seed
testing department. In, the bureau Of
plant industry. In the department OF agri-
culture, with stipend OF 1880 per an
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30
Fine Homes for Workingmen.

Special Cable to The Tribune.
LONDON, Jan. 29.-Ten million dol
lars, left by the late w r. Sutton,
will be expended for the cheap and
proper housing of working families in
London. On the site OF what was for
merly vinegar factory, nine blocks of
modern dwellings are being erected. Mr..
Sutton left a sum of nearly $4,000 900
for the work. Accommodation is being
provided for 800 families. the rents vary
ing according to accommodation. from
61la cents to $500 per week. A bath
will be provided in every tenement.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30

Foley's Kidney Remedy will cnre any
case of kidney or bladder trouble that
is not beyond the reach OF medicine. 1t
invigorates the entire system and
strengthens the kidneys so they elm.
mate the impurities from the blood.
Backache, rheumatism, kidney and blad~
der troubles are cured by this great
medicine. Schramm j Johnson Co.
Tribune Want Ads.
Bell Main 5000. Independent $50
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30
zes in Moons,

poravtory spccializes TO
moons. II was through
2rial telescope that Pro-
her. Asaph, Sr.. discoy-
ons OF Mars more than
These moons. by the
>>9ut sixty miles in dame
IN 10 revolve around the
fe directions But this
and not actual. the cf-
cally viewed. being due
y ne of them circles three
= Mars Itself turns. while
, ar a comparatively slow
q ne diametors OF the or
= ables the astronomer 10
Fffses OF the planets about
rfe. thus yielding impor-
Jon to our solar system.
" Keeping track OF sat
mere are so many OF
Hhibit such curious &C.
e. Mercury and Venus
AZ all, but Jupiter has
Uranus four, and Ncp-
{. 1kgest of all OF them is
10 Saturn. which has a
miles. This is enor-
~ our own moon. whose
<lb0 miles. Presumably
Me dead. like ours. II is
not some more Of our
they are so interest
wye the view Of eclipse
ky Is always full of
7 pne might imagine. an
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30
PROF. ASAPH HALL, THE ELDER,
Who Discovered the Moons Of Mars.

inebriated gentleman on that planet, GO
ing home at night. would find things very
confusing.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30
dventures of a New Congressman

rbly. but the way turned In to work
to to get that job for Ed was almost In
Knox an Iceberg.
Well at the very outset very near
ly had the breath taken away from me.
found that Senator Knox. who gives
out these piclSings, was colder than an
Iceberg, The state department was like
gave me the frosted hand and the
frozen heart. Why. what do you think
they wanted to know, They wanted
Wouldn't that make you fellows down
in the district laugh? Well, | should
say II would. but 1t made me mad, too,
and / hiked up to the White House 10
tell the president all about II, and In
return he gave me about two yards OF
that expansive smile that never comes
OF They say that II straw can tickle
IA man It must be an instrument OF hap
piness. Well. that must he the case
with me. for the president smiled at
House perfectly satisned-but without
the job.
Senatorial Trust
] went TO the treasury department next.
and when the man in charge OF that
place discovered what l wanted he gave
me one OF the most delightful essays you
ever listened 10. He said that content
in few wants, and | retorted pretty quick
ly that my wants were very few indeed
in fact all that l wanted was job for
Ed l tried to have him made assistant
secretary of the treasury. but they told
me that the three assistant secretaryships
We're all taken. Senator Lodge had one
Senator Lorimer had another. and Sen
ator Somebodyelse had the third one. Talk
about your trusts! II that senatorial
outfit isn't the closest corporation In the
world would like to know what the word
means. Ia try TO bust 1t up. only l eX-
pect TO get in on the ground floor myself
some of these days.
BY this time Ed and I were both be-
ginning to fell anxious. Ed left the swell
hotel and took quarters at commercial
house. where drummers stopped. because
the rates were reasonable and grub was
good In the meantime. ] made an effort
to get him In the postofflce department
as a postal inspector. The first thing they
wanted TO know over there was whether
he had passed n civil service examination.
We'll II those fellows had 10 pass a civil
service examination there they wouldn't
be there, and II IL wasn't for fellows like
You and me who pull doorbells and pal
aver the people, l guess the whole darned
would he out of a Job,
However. | stuck at IL, going from one
department TO the other, and another
week went by without any results ! was
getting pretty well disGusted by this time
but Ed, who is something of an optinist
was filled with anticipation. Anticipation
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30

that the head OF the
! zv at Washington ought
astronomer-an eminent
nho should attract at
,Ysfitutlon now and then
on the tail OF a new
y an extra twist to one
Mae. The present chief
,;hent. Captain T. Il. De
70 Is a very able officer
moi reasonably be eX-
th spectacular stunts
organized. however. the
! ning a deal Of valuable
staff of expert star-gaz-
INK as naval officers,
IN go 10 sea, They are
NJ and not by an ordi-
Thus. Tor example.
/updegranf ranks as a
Ilt navy, and his business
c be is TO keep tab on tie
~ Is mainly occupied in
s<ucture OF the universe.
n considerable task. and
4 4 Is not undertaken any
7 Ibis country. largely be-
~ Isborlous. and for the
I re Is literally no end to
Hoose. the chief instrument
Z lfldian circle. " consisting
OF a telescope, through
-rhre watched as they pass
ington meridian with the
- earth. knowledge of
IONS Of the stars is Of
ubefulness to nayigators
Z b EIchelberger, who is
saine work. is likewise
the navy. and another
akes part In this branch
! Professor Frank y. Lit
the lesser rank of lieu =
Ut. In charge of the
= telescope is Professor
: !eutenanD. whose atten =
{ nainly 10 our moon, 9TH
cDmafs
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30
Like the Irishman.

I was talking TO bureau chief the
other day, and ] told him how Ed had
started out with the intention OF becom-
ing a United States minister TO the Ar
begging for clerkship. He laughed. and
said: ut shows how quickly a man can
drop when he gets started" He said it
reminded him OF an lrishman who fell
from the roof OF n twentY-two-s story sky
scraper. One OF his Hlbernian friends
was peering out of a thirdstory window.
and as he saw the man shoot past him
like a streal of CREASED lightning. he
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30

you'll find by consulting your dictionary
Is a perception n sort OF instructive pre-
vision or foretaste. or TO put IL d little
better pxOeptalipn.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30
u. S. NAVAL OBSERVATORY.
pleiades. for example. might be described
a. q, nf ct1
Hunting for Asteroids.


one of the assistant astronomers at
the observatory. Mr.. C. A. Hin, devotes
his attention to watching and recording
the apparent shifting of the stars as the
earth moves around the sun. Another.
Mr. G. II. Peters, looks for ASTEROIDS"
or minor planets, through photo-tele-
scope, taking snapshots OF them when hc
comes across them, With another Instru-
mont ne makes a photograph Of the sun
every day In the year. thus keeping
record OF sunspots. their appearance and
small Importance, masmuch as the sun
practically controls the weather on the
earth. sun spot means an outburst OF
fiery activity on the surface Of tho solar
orb which Is likely 10 have its effects
upon temperature and other mctcorologic
conditions on the terrestrial planet
1t is of great interest, too, 10 study
the sun as a star OF all the billions
OF stars that go 10 make up our universe,
only one is near enough 10 permit us TO
examine It in detail. We call IL the sun,
an orb OF only the attn magnitude in the
Milky Way--it seems TO us. quite natural
~, the center Of creation. Notwlthstand-
Ing It's small size. II is pretty fair sam
pie of "A star. and by observation Of 1t
a great deal is TO be learned about other
and vastly more distant. stellar lumina-
ricS,
Seven Hundred Planets.
We know OF about zoo planets that re-
volve around the sun But only eight OF
them including the earth. are OF much
size, The rest are mere toy worlds. the
biggest Of them. called Ceres, being only
4s5 miles in diameter. with a surface area
three times as great as that OF Texas.
These baby sisters OF the earth indeed
might be said 10 equal in area various
states OF the Union, from Rhode island 10
Some OF the larger ones.
Probably there are multitudcs OF such
tiny worlds scattered through the void
OF space. The oarth weighs 200 times as
much as all the known minor planets put
together. IT. seems not unlikely that the
solar system, to which we belong. picks
them up now and then as II proceeds on
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30
By
Rene Bache

its tremendous journey in the direction
of the constellation Hercules. BY OBJ
serving the extent To which they are
pulled out OF their orbits by the earth.
Mars Venus and other major planets. II
is possible TO weigh the latter with
greater accuracy than in any other way.
Earth Is Outclassed.
Speaking OF major planets. however, II
seems concelted on our part TO regard
ourselves as In the same class with those
huge orb5 Jupiter. Saturn. Uranus and
Neptune. Uranus. for instance. Is sixty
times as big as the earth. and its year
Is as long as eighty-four Of our years.
The sun, as viewed from Uranus. rises
in the west and sets in the east. do
likewise its four moons. But we have
the advantage Of II when sunshine is
considered. by reason of its enormously
greater distance from the solar luminary.
one four hundredth as largo MS IL does TO
us-thouGh 1t has about the brightness
Of 1900 Of our moons. and so gives light
enough TO see by very comfortably. As
for warmth. IL matters not. because
Uranus Is red-hot.
Regulates the Time.
BY no means the least important func-
tionary OF the naval observatory is Ever
EFT Hayden. who is not n professor, but
a plain commander in the navy. II Is
he who has charge Of the naval chro-
uometcrs and the time service. by which,
at exactly noon every day. a signal is
sent out over the telegraph wires to all
parts OF the country, setting the electric
clocks in every city. and dropping time
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30

Washington Who Keep Tab the Universe They Make Speciality
in Setting Clocks For Whole
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30
Endorses Old Sentiment,

felt like quitting by this time but
Ed had such n melancholy, wlstful smile
on his face that l really didn't have the
nerve to throw up the sponge. Charles
Lamb once said: II have lived nominal
ly fifty years. but deduct from that the
hours | have lived for other people and
not myself and you will find me still a
young fellow" l can lndorse this scnti
ment with all my heart. because. out
side OF the time I've spent In sleeping
mine. L think that all of my waking
minutes have been utilized In trying to
land that job. Ed was up against II
sure enough. He then had left his sec
ond class hotel and took a hall bedroom
in one OF the cheap lodging houses He'd
gone back home II II wasn't for the fact
that 1t Is cheaper TO stay here. / staRed
him myself several times. but. YOU know
I'm not n Rockefeller. and this thing
can't keep up forever.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30

PROF. MILTON
UPDEGRAFF,
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30
Endeavored to Land Clerkship.

Now, while all OF these things are nice
enough TO look at. they have never paid
your board and lodging. and Ed found 1t
necessary to move TO a cheap hotel on
one OF the side streets. felt mighty sor-
~ for him and finally made an effort TO
land him n clcrkshp In the war depart
ment. We'll, that place was worse than
all the others. | thought the fellows in
our town who belong TO the national
guard were the proudest things God ever
created but at that time ] hadn't come
In contact with the regular army. Say.
those fellows We're covered all over with
pomposlty and gold lace. The fellow /
talked with made me feel as If / was
about as big as an ant. He was very
naughty, He was all-suffcient self-suf-
iicient and insufficient. ] don't think
I'll ever sing about the glories of our
army again. 1t took me about two min
utcs 10 find out that an ordinary Amer
lean citizen had no chance in that part
Of our great government unless he was
an uncle or a cousin or n brother In law
of some one in the regular army.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30
Million-Dollar Bride.

am more than keen to know upon
what lucky man the affections OF Mrs.
Keith Donaldson will settle. now that Il
kind Judge In Reno has rendered her
heart and fancy free. Mrs. Donaldson
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30

called out In his most insnuatlng voice:
Keep up your spirits, my buckley
you've only got three more stories to 60"
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-01-30
Twins Predominate.

Society has turned its attention to the
ufterIng OF dumb animals That is a
crtain section OF II has. Under the
Barbour County index., 1910-11-16

VIM. Lonker Of this city is get
ting considerable comfort out Of this
falls election, even If It did result
against his way of thinking in most
cases. His son, Charles Lonker, was
reelected register of deeds at Enid,
Oklahoma, by the handsome major
ity Of 1000. The county is Demo
cratic and elected nearly all of the
Democratic candidates, but they
crossed over in Mr. Lonker's 8
case In recognition Of his good SER
vice. II the entire Republican party
were made up of Lonkers 1t would
be hard for Democrats to win. Yet
in that event the Republican party
would be a pretty decent organiza-
tion.
Barbour County index., 1910-11-16

Harry Keifner and Miss Florence
Kaufman of Wichita arrived Mon
day to visit with Medicine Lodge
friends. Mr.. Keifner came to at
tend to matters pertaining to the
keifner ranch west Of this city and
will probably return today or tomof-
row. Miss Kaufman will be the
guest OF Miss Mary Davis and Miss
Alice Rudolph about a week.