Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1910-04-30

223 Clarence St., Ottumwa, la.
"What are they moving the church
for -
well, stranger, I'm mayor of these
diggin:s and I'm fer law enforcement.
We've an ordinance what says no
saloon shall be nearer than 400 feet
from a church. give EN- three days
to move the church" (Not Originally.
Stephen Cummings, age 10,
223 Clarence ST., Ottumwa, la.
eyes, l was fined $500 for putting
coloring matter in artificial butter"
"Well didn't you deserve 1t .
Perhaps But what made me mad
was tat the Judge who imposed the
fine had dyed his whiskers."
(Not Originally.
Frances Norton, age II
Melrose, Iowa.
ooh, dear" sighed small Elmer, II
wish | had another pocket" "You
have several now" rejoined his moth
er. why do you want another?' i've
looked through all of them for my
knife" exclaimed Elmer, "but could
not find it, If l had another pocket
it might be in that.
Belle Smith, age 10.
Floris, Iowa.
A little boy, after getting punished,
his mother said, "You see my son
every time you are naughty your
father gets gray hair" well, NAM
ma" said the boy, you must have
been very naughty. Look at grandpa
Mary Randell,
R.F. D. No. 8, Ottumwa, la.
There was a man who wore chin
whiskers. A little girl saw him after
he shaved them off and she said,
Papa he has shaved his chin mus
tache off," (This is true).
Zaida White,
R.F. D. No. 3. Bloomfield.
Once there was a little boy who had
a dog and the dog was always found
behind the stove in the kitchen. one
day the little boy visited gentlemen's
room. He had two fine dogs. He salc
they were Irish settlers and the little
boy who was very fond of his dog said
mine is a kitchen setter.
Marie Knedler, age IL,
r. F. D. No. T. Bloomfield, la.
Little Paul, five years old, had his
hair cut. Some boy said that they
were going to have race, and they
wanted him to be in it. But when they
saw he had his hair cut they said,
"You can't run when you have hardly
any hair" So Paul went to the bar
Der shop and asked If they would put
his hair back on his head, for some
boys wanted him to race with them.
Edward Rutledge; age 8,
3O4 : ara St.. Ottumwa, la.
Little Polite taken to school for the
first time passed naive judgment up
on school ventilation. She ! 'ked
looked eagerly around the assembly
room. and tugged at her mothers
skirts.
mamma, mamma, where's the ele-
phant?"
'There is no elephant here, dear.
This is not a circus"
ooh. yes there is" cried Polite,
shifting the air, II MEL him."
The teacher had gone back to the
brave days of old for his reading selec-
tion for the day and read the story OF
the Roman who swan across the Timer
three times before breakfast. One OF
the boys giggled when the story was
finished and the teacher turned TO
him.
"You do not doubt trained swim
mer could do that, do you, james,!
he asked.
"No. SIR answered James, but
wondered why he did not make it -FOUR
and get back to the side his cfilothes
were on"
(Not Originally.
Elmer Lazenby,
Hillsboro, Ia.
Little boy" Mamma, how long VIII
it be before am sixteen?"
Mamma-"What do you want TO
know for, dear?"
Little boy-"Cause."
Mamma-"It will be thirteen years
Now WHY do you want to know
Little Boy-"Then can skate"
Visitor-"Can't you skate before
you are sixteen?'
Little Boy-"No, not until am six,
teen''
One other time when my sister ana
were there for dinner we asked MIN
what his name was and he said "The
best in town." In little while after
wards he put his hand up to his mouth
and said, Don't tell mamma though,
she wouldn't believe it."
(These are both true stories.
Ferne Epperly, age IL,
RID No. 8, Ottumwa, la.
An old lady on her first railroad
trip noticed the bell cord overhead
and turning to boy she asked