The Washington bee., 1910-12-03
a Rank Outsider,


geous gowns were everywhere. The
bride stood proudly beneath a canopy
Of choice exOtics. beaming in her love
illness.
Isn't she just too sweet? gurgIed
an elderly matron. 'But who do you
suppose is the man who is always at
her side?'
"I'm sure / can't imagine" replied
another matron- Then. as a brilliant
idea struck her, she remarked. "Oh.
guess it's only the bridegroom!'-Ex-
change.
Crushed the Critic.
He was very deferential. but he was
a deacon in the church. and he felt
that he had a right to criticise.
~ hope you'll pardon me-" he said,
'if l suggest that your sermons are
ah"-
TOO prosy, suppose" suggested
the minister.
"Oh, no, not that, but too long"
'But you mustn't blame me for
that" returned the minister pleasant
ly. "If you knew q little more /
wouldn't have to tell you so much
London Scraps.
To Make . Man Act Like q Fool.
A man was considered a general ig-
noramus by the concern for which be
formerly worked. he came into cur
employ when we were obliged to take
him on account of the scarcity Of la
Dor. 1t was not long. however. before
he discovered that the firm appreciated
suggestions. He proved a genius in
his line, and his ideas were worth a
good many dollars to us. / asked him
one day why he did not present some
Of these ideas to his former employers.
and his reply makes the point.
They treated me like a fool" said
he, $50 I acted like one."-System,
Well Named.
He arrived late and worn out at
the twentieth hotel. after wandering
nearly all around London to find ac-
commodations, and was delighted to
learn that actually the place was not
full up. Next morning. however. he
complained of the bed. and the land
lord stifly said that a duke had once
slept in it. Perhaps it was the Duke
of wellington" said the visitor. with
a snear. Perhaps it was" returned
the landlord. mo wonder they called
him the Iron Duke" retorted the
Visitor.-LOndon News.
A Careless Boston Burglar.
A Boston burglar at midnight
stealthily climbed a heavily carpeted
stairway, a dim candle in hand, when
the voice OF the unseen mistress above
called, who is there" Abstractedly
the intruder answered, ITS me-" and
then all was still. At this crucial mo
ment that Boston burglar. suddenly
overcome by the consciousness of one
Of the worst breaks Of his life, lost
heart, turned wearily about, descended
to the basement. deliberately ate
small piece of cold chicken and saun-
tered away in deepest detection from
the back dOor.-BostOn Herald
Hang Your Hat on a Lead Pencil.
Take a smooth hexagon lead pencil,
one without either rubber or metal end,
and place it against a door or window
casing Then with dTm. heavy pres
sure slide the pencil some three or four
inches. and 1t will stay as If glued to
the casing. You may now hang your
hat on the end of the pencil When
you slide the pencil along the casing
do 1t without any apparent effort. and
1t will appear to your audience as
though you had hypnotized it. This is
3 very neat trick if performed right
Popular Mechanics
/ Dog Spooks.
The phantom dog specteT was S8e
of the hardest of old English super
stitions. Almost every county had its
black dog which haunted its lonely
spots and was the dread Of every na-
tive Most Of them were regarded as
devils. but some were held to be the
spirits of human beings, transformed
thus as a punishment. Lady Howard,
q Devon notable Of the days Of James
l., for instance, was said to be COM
PEELED to haunt Okehampton in the
form Of a dog as a punishment for her
cruelty to her daughter.-London
Chronicle
Oxygen and Mushrooms.
One of the government experts At
tached TO the department of agTicul
ture describes a singular way Of re
moving oxygen from the air by the aid
Of a plant Inside glass bell jar, sus
pended over water, Is placed a mush
room, and sunlight is allowed to fal
on the plant The mushroom absorb:
the oxygen from the air in the Jar
and the carbonic acid formed during
the process is absorbed by the water
which gradually rises in the jar to one
fifth Of its height. The mushroom nov
dries up. but Its animation is only sus
pended as may be proved by intTOduc
ing beside 1t a green plant. when I
Will again begin to yegetate. bein:
nourished by the oxygen exhaled from
the fresh plant.-Pittsburg Post.
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