Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-06-03

called upon to approach Mr.. Phillips,
and asked him: Are you Mr.. Phillips?'
Il am. sir +" Are you trying 10 free the
niggerS = Yes. sir; | am an abolition
list. We'll. why do you preach your
doctrine up here? Why don't YOU 90
over into Kentuckyy' Excuse me, sir,
are you Il preacher Il am sir Are
you trying to save souls from heaE'
Yes. sir; that's my business. Well.
why don't you go thereE'' The assailant
hurried into the smoker amid a roar of
unsanctified ughter.-Everybody Ma
gazine.
-
His Marks.
Sister Ann-Did yer get any marks at
school terday Bill?
Bill-Yus, but they're where they dOn't
show.-London Sketch.
~-:.~
College Reminders.
Father-What is that red and white
striped pole over in the corner of your
room?
Senior-Oh, that's a relic Of barberism
Yale Record.
So
The Umpire at Home
Billy" Evans sat alone in his home
the other evening meditating on the APP
preaching baseball season which means
his return TO the arduous umpiring pur-
suit.
He was thinking of number Of vova-
tious features of his calling. when his
thoughts were interrupted by the ringing
of the telephone bell Some woman de-
sired TO talk TO Evans wife, who did not
bo tp ba af bntna
She's outr' shouted Evans, absent
mindedly, in such a thunderous tone that
he nearly ruined the poor wOman's ear
drum.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
49,
Not Well Grouped
Muggins-I don't see why wine, wom-
en- and song should always be grouped
together.
Buggins-It seems TO me they should.
Muggins- Nonsense! Wine improye s
with age.-P Philadelphia Record
-
The Chancellor's Retort.
Lloyd-George is famous, of course, for
his brilliant repartee and biting sarcasm.
Il am here he remarked at Il po-
litical meeting. but before he had time
to finish the sentence a noisy interrupter
had chimed in, "and 50 am l.
But the retOrt was as quick as it was
overwhelming "Yes-but You are not
all there. London Daily Mail.
49,
A Hard Game.
I've just been having tusse with
the dentist"
"Ah. Who came off bcst?'
"Oh-er-it was draw."-Tit-Bits.
49,
Fate.
Come seben, come eleben!" said the
crapshooter earnestly. rolling the bones
Sure thing" responded Policeman
III, stepping around the corner and col
larlng the player, but how'd you know
my number ?"--Philadelphia Ledger.
-
Received in Court Circles.
In a speech in the Senat on Hawaiian
affairs. Senator Depew of New York
told this story:
When Queen Liliuokalani was in Eng
land during the English Queens Jubilee,
she was received at Buckingham palace.
In the course of the remarks that passed
between the two queens, the one from
the Sandwich Islands said that she had
English blood in her veins
How so?" inquired Victoria.
My ancestors ate Captain Cook. 80
Eyerybody's Magazine.
49,
Recreation.
Casey-Ye're a hard worruker Doc
ley; how many hods o. morther have yez
carried up that ladder tn day?
Dooley-Whist, man, I'm foolin' TIL
boss. I've carried the same hodful up
an down MI day. an he thinks I'm wor-
rukin .-Cleveland Leader.
-
Spring Thought of Hobo
In the spring the hobos fancy
Strongly turns to thoughts of grub:
How to get it without working
That's the question, there's the rub!
Judge
-
Well Supplied
An nyetcrate wit and punster asked
the captain of craft loaded with
boards how he managed to get dinner on
the passage.
why" replied the skipper, 1--WE al
ways cook aboard"
Cook Il board. do you?' reioined the
wag: then | see YOU have been vel
prov idAd with provisions this trip, at all
eyel,.a.-Tit-Bits
Just for Luck
-" Ow did he come to get run over
Bm|
e was picking up orSeshoe for
luck. -Colmmbian Magazine
-
Singing Like an Angel.
What is the cause of that prima dom
mas indignationF"
The press agent" replied the impre
sario. He said she sang like an angel
She says that all the angels she eyel
knew couldn't sing. They merely wrot,
checks. Washington Star.
So
This One Is on Me
A man in a mellow condition wen
| into a barber shop and seated himself II
one of the chairs:
Whats your pleasure, SirE' aske,
| the polite barber.
.LlLl :. H.. III ~.