Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-06-12

won't you-take your hands completely
away from me, that's what L mean-anu
I'll show you how absolutely Impossible
it is for a human being to go down in
the water II only he keeps perfectly still
and
Now, look a-here, how many times
have l got to ask you to stop ciaWlng
me around the neck that way? Hun!
You're afraid to leggo of me out here In
this deep water? Why, you poor, deluded
woman, this water hasn't even sWlshed
as high az your belt line yet, and HoW's
that? You'll let go of me SOS l can
show You how to float if we get in clos
er? oh, that's it, hey? Maybe you'd like
to have me teach you to float on the
hotel porch? Or perhaps you've got the
idea that 1 ought to wait till we go nome
and then take you up on top or the
Washington Monument and teach you to
float UP there?
"Y'knew, you've got to have little
moisture to float in. You never saw any
body floating in a hay manger. did you?
Or in a coal scuttle? Well. then All
you've got to do is to release me from
that death grip for just half second
and I'll show YOU
'How's that? Oh. you want to be
shown some other time hey? Great.
Luffly. / had a bunch that l was wrong
49,
all to teach you to float.
This is the fitting time to teach you
how to keep double-entry books and to
ground you in the elements Of AssyriolaSy.
the present moment to instruct you in the
art OF reading the crystal globe and
making paper flowers?
Well, If you're not going to leggo me
SOS l can show you how the floating
thing is DONE why. I'll just float you and
show how the thing Is managed. Huh ?
Now, stop that squealing, for heaven s
sake, and I'll have you floating atop of
the water before you can say Jack Robin
son.
Nope, I'm not going to let go of you.
That's what / ought to do. to instruct
you properly, but l know perfectly well
that the minute I'd take my hand away
from supporting your back you d let out a
squaWk that would cause the both of us
to be p.nched for disorderly conduct. So
I'll keep my hand under your back all
the time, see?
Now, here. just lie back in the water
and What's that? You don't want to
get your hair wet? Ha, ha, Great again.
Fine once more.
What dye expect is going to happen to
your hair when you get into an ocean?
Dye suppose it's going to be burnt off?
Or dye suppose mermaid's going to pop
up and marcel-wave 1t, or something like
that?
"And how the dickens are you going to
get your hair wet anyhow. with that
dinky rubber cap pulled down over your
ears? And If your hair does get drop OF
two of water on it, what's the
Huh? Salt water makes the hair
sticky? Oh. that's 1t, is it?
"Well, say, If salt water is going tc
make your hair stick the way your hands
are sticking around my neck, I'm
wait a minute. Can you imagine how
anybody can float in the water in the
air or anywhere else II he or she's going
to keep his or her feet nailed to the bot
tom?
.Or. are you trying to Land me one in
an indirect way? That is to say. are yo,
trying to intimate that I'm not capable OF
taking care Of you in the water, or any
where else when it comes to that?
Are you trying to put 1t { err that Tn
such a BOBBY and such mutt in the wa
ter that / wouldn't know how to take
care Of you in case anything terrific hap
pened to you in eight inches of water?
Because. you know. il that's your idea
If you've dragged me out here into thi.
blooming cold water, when l had no no
ton of doing ii at all. except to catlsfA
you-if you've done all this just for th'
purpose of stalking me to slap like that
why, I'm going to have q little to say II
rebuttal, you know. I'm not going Il
sand around like St,ughten bottle u