The Washington bee., 1910-12-17

bride stood proudly beneath a canopy
Of choice exotics. beaming in her love
illness.
isn't she just too sweetT' gurgled
an elderly matroE- But who do you
suppose Is the man who is always at
her side?'
I'm sure / can't imagine" replied
another matron. Then, as brilliant
idea struck her, she remarked, ''Oh,
guess it's only the bridegroomy-Ex-
change.
Crushed the Critic.
He was very deferential. but he was
q deacon in the church, and be felt
that be had a right to criticise.
Il hope you'll pardon me-" he said.
IF l suggest that your sermons are
ah"-
''Too prosy. / suppose" suggested
the minister.
''Oh, no, not that but too long"
But you mustn't blame me for
that" returned the minister pleasant
". "If you knew q little more /
wouldn't have to tell you so much
London Scraps.
To Make a Man Act Like a Fool.
A man was considered a general ig-
noramus by the concern for which be
formerly worked. He came into our
employ when we were obliged to take
hin, oy oooOuu% ~ the aoa ro{%g nF 10
Dor. 1t was not long, however, before
be discovered that the flrm appreciated
suggestions. He proved a genius in
hts line, and his ideas were worth a
good many dollars to Us. / asked him
one day why he did not present some
Of these ideas to his former employers.
and his reply makes the point.
''They treated me like fool" said
he, 80 acted like one."-System.
Well Named.
He arrived late ana worn out at
the twentieth hotel, after wandering
nearly all around London to find ac-
commodations, and was delighted to
learn that actually the place was not
full up Next morning. however, he
complained Of the bed, and the land
lord stiffiy said that a duke had once
slept In it. perhaps 1t was the Duke
Of Wellington" said the visitor, with
a sneer. Perhaps It was" returned
the landlord. ''NO wc1der they called
him the Iron Duke, retorted the
visitor-London News
A Careless Boston Burglar.
A Boston burglar at midnight
gtealthily climbed a heavily carpeted
stairway, dim candle In hand. when
the voice OF the unseen mistress above
called. "Who is there?" AbStractedly
the intruder answered, ITS me-" and
then ali was still. A. this crucial mo-
ment that Boston burglar. suddenly
overcome by the consciousness OF one
Of the worst breaks OF his life, lost
heart, turned wearily about, descended
to the basement, deliberately ate a
small piece of cold chicken and saun-
tered away in deepest detection from
the back door.-Boston Herald
Hang Your Hat on q Lead Pencil.
Take a smooth hexagon lead pencil,
one without either rubber or metal end,
and place 1t against a door or window
easing. Then with a firm. heavy pres
sure slide the pencil some three or four
inches. and it will stay as If glued to
the casing. You may now hang your
hat on the end of the pencil When
you slide the pencil along the casing
do 1t without any apparent effort, and
it will appear to your audience as
though you had hypnotized it. This Is
. very neat trick If performed right
Popular Mechanics
Dog SPOeks.
The phantom dog specteF was ons
Of the hardest OF old English super
stitions. Almost every county had its
black dog which haunted its lonely
spots and was the dread Of every ma
tive. Most OF them were regarded as
devils. but some were held to be the
spirits OF human beings, transformed
thus as a punishment Lady Howard,
q Devon notable of the days Of James
l.. for instance. was said to be COM
PEELED to haunt Okehampton IN the
form Of a dog as a punishment for her
cruelty to her daughter.-LOndOn
Chronicle.
Oxygen and Mushrooms.
One Of the government experts at
tached to the department OF agricul-
ture describes a singular way OF re-
moving oxygen from the air by the aid
OF plant. Inside a glass bell jar, sus-
pended over water, is placed a mush-
room, and sunlight is allowed TO fall
on the plant The mushroom absorbs
the oxygen from the air In The jar,
and the carbonic acid formed during
the process Is absorbed by the water,
which gradually rises in the jar to one
fifth Of its height. The mushroom now
dries up. but its animation is only sus-
pended. as may be proved by inuOduc-
ing beside 1t a green plant. when 1t
viii again begin to vegetate. being
nourished by the oxygen exhaled from
the fresh plant-Pittsburg Post.
Fins Finish.
The man who writes thrilling melo-
dramas rushed into the managers Of