The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-10-26

NOUS matrimonial uniouw
"Well," said Pogue, nothing that
would Justify you every time in call
ing up police headquarters and order
ing out the reserves and vaudeville
way: Suppose you're Fifth avenue
millionaire. soaring high. on the right
side of coppers and cappers.
"Iou come home at night and bring
a S9,00O,000 diamond brooch to the
lady who's staked you for a claim.
You hand 1t over. She says, oh.
George" and looks to see If it's back
ed. She comes up and kisses you.
You've waited for it, You get it. All
right. It's graft.
But I'm telling you about Artemi-
sia Blye. She was from Kansas, and
she suggested corn in all of its phases.
Her hair was as yellow as the silk,
her form was as tall and graceful as
stalk in the low grounds during a
wet summer, her eyes were as big and
startling as bunions, and green was
her favorite color.
"On my last trip into the cool re-
cesses of your sequestered city met
human named Vaucross. He was
worth-that is, he had a million. He
told me he was in business on the
street A sidewalk merchant says l,
sarcastic. Exactly says he, senior
partner of paving concern
81 kind of took to him for this rea-
son: l met him on Broadway one
night when l was out of heart, luck,
tobacco and place. He was all silk
hat, diamonds and front He was all
front. If you had gone behind him
| you would have only looked yourself
in the face. l looked like a cross be-
tween Count Tolstoy and June lob
ster. l was out of luck. had But
let me lay my eyes on that dealer
again.
"Vaucross stopped and talked to me
few minutes, and then he took me
to high toned restaurant to eat din
ner. There was music and then some
Beethoven and Bordelaise sauce and
cussing in French and frangipangi and
some hauteur and cigarettes. When l
am flush l know them places.
81 declare 1 must have looked as
bad as a magazine artist sitting there
without any money and my hair all
rumpled like l was booked to read a
chapter from 'Elsie's School Days at
n Brooklyn bohemian smoker. But
| Vaucross treated me like bear hunt
ers guide. He wasn't afraid Of hurt
ing the walters feelings.
"'Mr. Pogue,' he explains to me, Il
am using YOU
"'Go on says l. L hope you don't
wake up
And then he tells me, you know,
the kind of man he was. He was a
New Yorker. His whole ambition was
to be noticed. He wanted to be con-
| spicuous. He wanted people to point
him out and bow to him and tell
others who he was. He said it had
been the desire Of his life always.
He didn't have but a million, so he
couldn't attract attention by spending
money. He said he tried to get into
public notice one time by planting a
little public square on the east side
with garlic for free use Of the poor,
but Carnegie heard of it and covered
it over at once with a library in the
Gaelic language. Three times he had
jumped in the way Of automobiles, but
the only result was five broken ribs
and a notice in the papers that an un-
known man five feet ten, with four
amalgam filed teeth supposed to be
the last of the famous Red Leary
gang, had been run over.
Ever try the reporters? l asked
him.
last month"; says Mr.. Vaucross,
my expenditure for lunches to report
ers was $124.S0.'
"'Get anything out of thatY 1 asks.
THAT reminds me- says he; add
$3.50 for pepsin. Yes, l got indiges-
ton
How am l supposed to push along
your scramble for prominenceT l In
quireS. 'Contrastr
Something of that sort tonight,
says Vaucross. 1t grieves me, but l
am forced to resort to eccentricity.'
And here he drops his napkin in his
soup and rises up and bows to gent
VINO IL OeNdSIalluB q pOlato uAuSl
palm across the room.
1.-The police commissioner says my
climber, gratihed. Friend says 1 in
hurry, have ambitions, but don't
kick u rung out of your ladder. When
you use me as a stepping stone to sa-
lutte tho police you spoil my appetite
on the grounds that l may be degraded
and incriminated. Be thoughtful
"As the Quaker City squad en- cas-
serole the idea about Artemisia Blye
comes TO me.
"'Suppose can manage to get you
In the papers, says Ia column oi
two every day in all of 'em and youI
picture in most Of 'em for a week
How much would it be worth to youI
"'Ten thousand dollars says Nau
cross, warm in a minute. But no mur
der says he, and / won't wear pinl
pants at a cotillion.'
"T wouldn't ask you to- says !
This Is honorable, stylish and unef
Terminate. Tell the waiter to bring 1