davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-02-02
The Pun.

U6 EhUs
The golden age of the pun in Britain
was the reign Of King James l., the
Stuart Solomon" That learned SOW
ereign was himself passable pnnster
and made few privy councillors or bish-
ops who were not reputed to be good
at quip. 1t was therefore In his day
that the pun appeared with pomp and
dignity. 1t had been before admitted
into merry speeches and ludicrous
compositions, but was now delivered
with great gravity from the pulpit or
pronounced In the most solemn man.
ner at the council table. The greatest
authors in their most serious works
made frequent use Of puns.-London
Globe.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-02-02
J1ber0 y Only One
s6rOsn0 QGzxnxsse"
Thaf IL
Laxative BrOI11O Qulk1lI10
USED nSE wosl0 OVER ouar oOl0 ~ ow SAr
:. .',,; s ',+'..s' .. .s . ., 's. .. . .. ,e

plan now In force in the American
league.
There isn't the slightest chance of
such change" said Chivlngton. The
annual meeting for the ratification OF
the schedule will be held here Feb
ruary Is. The work of the sched-
ule committee has alreday progressed
so far that q j. tentative program has
been completed, The season will open
April 10 and close September 81"
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-02-02
JEFF GOES TO
CALIFORNIA TODAY

Chicago, Feb. 2--The east has had
Its last chance of seeing James j.
Jeffrics before his fight with Jack
johnson on July next, The big
Californian had intended to pay a sort
of farewell visit" to New York
prior to going into training but 1t Is
announced today that he will go at
once to California when his present
theatrical tour is finished. Mrs JEFF
fries, who has been seriously Ill for
several weeks in local hospital, left
today for Helena, Montana, to join
her husband
Jeffries will appear at Helena Satur
day and win conclude his tour at Hibr
bing, Minnesota, February 13.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-02-02

Johnson is not in New York and
may be unable to reach here in time
to appear. 1t is hardly likely. hove
ever. that his bond would be forfeit
ed. as the time for entering plea
would probably be extended.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-02-02

Never add the burden Of yesterdays
trouble to that Of tomorrow. The one
is past; the other may never come.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-02-02

This Is the time or year most try
Ing on those inclined to be constlpat-
ed. Many dread winter because OF II.
Don't worry, just take HOLSTERS
Rocky Mountain Tea. natures surest.
safest and best tonic regulator Take
II once week. Start tonight.
Charles schmidt & Co.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-02-02
The Spring Games.

IL became known that the oificials
of the Marion club are already map
ping out their spring program and
that 1t is to include a larger numb
er of exhibition games than the local
club has ever played before. The
officials have come to the conclusion
that If exhibition games are sched-
uled with other league clubs the
players will work harder to get
into condition and consequently
when the season starts they will be
in prime shape to go well right of
the real.
1t is expected that the athletics
will be brought on during the first
week in April and IL possible there
will be one game with major
league. American association and
Central league clubs will also be
booked In and It Is possible that
Akron or some other o-P club will
play here.
II these games are scheduled and
the weather Is favorable the clut
will have an opportunity to get o
good start financially instead of be-
Ing a couple thousand dollars In ar
gears before ten days OF playing
season elapse as was the case last
year.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-02-02
Long A A Season

Chicago. Feb. 2-President Tom
Chivington of the American associa-
tion today denied reports that the as.
sociation might abolish the 16S-game
schedule and return TO the t54 game
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-02-02

Chimpanzees bring high prices in
London, although--or, perhaps be-
cause--they are greatly in demand
for pets Not long ago one was sold
70 . woman for e62s.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-02-02
February Coat and Suit Prices:
the years lowest.

Z s1s and sis broadcloth suits
$748. M
$50 suits at sS.gS.
s25 suits now $9.9S.
$40 and 1880 colored coats, $4.9S
sl5 colored coats. s6.9s.
$3.50 to $22 so col. coats, ss.Ss.
1t Uhler-Phlllips.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-02-02

Nothing so cheap for good
wholesome. hearty, breakfast, as Mrs
Austin's pancake -four. Al all Groc
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-02-02
THEATERS
GItAND-Dark.
ORPHEUM---Sun-M Murray Vaudeville
Featuring Heidelberg -Four

'"The Travelling Salesman by
James Forbes. apthor of .The, Cho-
rus Lady" will be seen In this city, at
the Grand, Friday, February IL. The
laughable comedy with Its unusual
cast, becomes more of n factor In cur
rent theatricals with every succeed
ing performance and II Is doubtful
whether any other play at present
bidding for public approval Is enjoy
ing the same amount of success and
prosperity as this charming comedy.
Mr.. Forbes has constructed a play
with considerable ingenuity with an
Intention of providing a vehicle to
move even the most blase theatregoer
into an avalanche of good humor.
There is not single character in the
piece that does not contribute to the
numerous laughs with which the play
abounds and to use the language OF
the dramatic critics there are mo ifs,
or ands or butts" to the success of
"The Travelling Salesman" The same
inexhaustible fecundlty of verbal
coinage that was so manifest in "The
Chorus Lady, will be found strongly
In evidence in the comedy success,
"The Travelling Salesman" The cast
which Mr.. Harris has selected is COM
posed of none but actors of estab-
lished reputation, including Austin
Webb as the jovial. mirth-provoking
drummer; Dan Baker, as his able CO.
assistant; Rosalind Coghlan as the in
genuous, simple ticket agent; Harriet
Sheldon in the role of a modern
xantippe but with a heart as good as
gold-in fact, the entire company
without exception give SPLENDID inter-
pretations of Mr.. Forbes interesting
stage characters.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-02-02

New uniforms. probably gray will
be purchased for the diggers. The
white ones will be, renovated and
used at home, the gray ones to be
used abroad.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-02-02

The novelty of a steamship turning
completely over In mid-ocean and the
passengers still remaining right side
UP. is certainly a very laughable con-
ceit.
The Byrne Brothers, who appear at
the Grand Thursay of this week In
Eight Bells" were doubtless aware OF
thi feature as fun maker when they
embodied it in their curious spectac-
ular production of that name.
The Byrnes have also retained all
the best features of the old sklt which
was funny. These include the ship
scene, the boarding school action, and
the comical horse and the stage
coach horse play.
AS everybody knows, the brothers
are great acrobats and as supple as
eels. There is a good variety of
songs and dances in the new version,
with pretty music and prettier girls.
There is the ghost of a love story
running through the maze of tum-
bling sequences, also, which is very
The supporting company
Is generally agile and talented.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-02-02

Alfred l.. Dolson, press representa-
tive for Henry b. Harris produc'
tion of "The Travelling Salesman" by
James Forbes. is in the city arrang-
ing for the appearance here at the
Grand Opera House, Friday, Feb.
II, OF this famous comedy which has
recently completed a run of -four
months at the Park Theatre, Boston,
and six months at the Illinois Theatre
in Chicago, after an entire seasons s
engagement at the Gaiety Theatre I'm
New York For his theme and CEN
trail figure, Mr.. Forbes has taken that
great American type. the commercial
traveller, and cut and dried rules for
playwriting are said to have been cast
aside, as he has proceeded on the be-
lief that the thoughts Of the average
man, his deeds and emotions form 10
pretty fair basis for a play. 1t is .
and down the streets of every city,
and 1t has been told in plain Ameri-
can vernacular and fines as forceful
as mental sledgehammers to drive
deep the thought and story. James
Forbes, who first attracted attention
with his comedy "The Chorus Lady"
Is a recruit from the newspaper ranks
to the playwrights and there Is In his
work a simplicity, truthtelling natur-
alism Just on the lines of the life OF
the average man. that grips and Will
not let go the interest to the very
end.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-02-02

Columbus critics today searched
their vocabularies to write justice
concerning the several abilities of the
Colonial stock company. which
opened an indefinite engagement at
the attractive Colonial theatre In that
city, Monday.
"The College Widow was chosen
for the premiere performance, and
proved to be a play par excellence for
mirroring the possibilities Of the
stock personal. ''The Great Divide
will be the offering for next week.
Mr.. DAILY. of the Heidelhsrg Four,
the ultra classy quartette at the
Orpheum this week possesses aside
from his magnificent voice. a spontan-
liety of manner and seeming ease that
go to make UP that mysterious guam
tity. stage presence. Given two
voices of equal quality and two
singers of like personality. 1t would
mark the difference between a good
performer and better one as surely
as 1 does In the speaking business OF
the stage. Mr.. Daily sings as II he
was voicing his wn thoughts instead
of the song writer and one gets the
the impression that he is thoroughly
enjoying every minute of II. With this
qualification he should be a welcome
recruit to light opera of the still more
fertile field of musical comedy which
has been the means of emblazonina
many sc,xs Of immeasurably less voice
and apparently no more activity In
electric bulbs before Broadway
theatres
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-07-27
ONLY \ INIT

The first grade teacher in a down
town school was explaining to her lit
tie scholars the meaning of the word
unit and was trying her best to
make the explanation comprehensive.
This is a unit" said she, taking up
pencil. This is unit" touching a
book on her table. This is unit"
pointing 10 a orange that lay on her
desk
During recess one of the youngsters
produced an orange in the schoolyard
and half a dozen Of them ate it joy
ously. When the bell rang to call the
children back to the classroom one
little boy was meditatively chewing a
piece of orange skin.
"What is that you have?" asked the
teacher, little sharply. Children
are not allowed to eat oranges or
anything else in the classroom" The
boy looked at her rather puzzled for
an instant. Then he said, brightly:
This I'm eatin'? That's the skin
of a unit eacherl"-Philadelp
Times.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-07-27

"I'm a patent medicine manufac-
'turer. Your paper has a pretty wide
circulation has it not?"
"Wide!" The newspaperman swung
round in his chair. wide! I should
say so. We have a circulation great
er by two to one than any other in
the country--a sworn circulation, sir,
of 100000 copies daily and it's a paid
circulation, too, and we reach the fam
lilies, sir Our paper is read by'1 200,-
600 persons daily, and when you con-
slider that our advertising rates are
well, they are so low that we are go
ing to advance them so per cent after
the first of next month. I don't ex-
aggerate in the least, sir, when I say
that We offer positively the best ad-
vertising medium in the whole coun-
try. Why, you can see for yourself
what the results must be from an ad
placed before 10000 900 people every
week. and-where are you going?"
"Oh round the town a little" re-
piled the stranger, putting on his hat.
THE article 1 make is a nerve medi-
cine, and l came to sell you a bottle,
but I see you don't need any"
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-07-27
TnE AsIATIC CALCULATOR.

one story from the Tacoma Ledger
and one told ny w p. Radcliff Of
the Bank Of Watsonville tend TO show
that the oriental method Of calcula-
tor is not 20 be sneezed at.
At a recent meeting Of the Tacoma
Chapter OF the American Institute Of
Bank Clerks. japanese clerk. US
ing q "saroban" put It all over a Ia
coma bank clerk using a modern ad-
ding machine in casting up a long
column OF figures. The Jap with his
saroban did the work in thirty Sec
Onds. while the bank clerk with his
adding machine took fifty-four Sec
onds in obtaining a total. The Jap
anese had the total correct at the
first trial. while the bank clerk made
an error. The Jap said he once
worked In bank in Osaka where this
ancient device was used and that he
was not considered fast at all, as
there were several who could beat
him.
Mr.. Radcliff relates a story Of men,
tai calculation on the part Of a local
Chinese who had business at the
bank. He came in one day and brought
exchange on several points in the
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-07-27
CONFETTI WITH CREAM.

High and low he searched for the
bag Of confetti he had brought home
on the previous evening for his son
and heir. but his efforts were not re-
warded with success. Where on
earth had he put it? What had be-
come Of It? With every minute he
became more irate, till finally he rang
for Bridget Bridget" he exclaimed
testify, did you see that bag of con-
fettl I brought home last night for
Freddie?"
"shure an OF did. sorr!" brogued
cut Bridget But OF didn't know It
was only for Masther Fred. There's
but half av it left now"
"Only half of lt?" he cried. what
on earth have YOU done with me rest?"
Cooked it, az course" retorted
Bridget. IAN It's fer yer own break
fast. with cream. ye had IL thin marn-
in'"'-Detroit Free Press.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-07-27
A PECULIAR PROGRESSIVE" I"

A Portland man named Lafferty is
trying to run for Congress against
Judge w. R. Ellis and he attempts to
pose as a progressive" But some
Of his utterances show him to be a
peculiar sort of a progressive. Listen
TO this: The present forest reserve
policy is un-AmeEcan. Our resourc-
es can never be conserved from
Washington. The forest reserves
should be conveyed in trust to the
states"
If he holds such views as these Mr..
Lafferty differs materially from the
progressive leaders of the senate and
house Most of these men uphold the
conservation policy of Roosevelt and
Plnchot That policy calls for the
conservation of natural resources by
the national government In the view
OF the leading advocates of the con-
servation policy it is the only plan
that means anything. The plea for
state conservation is made for the
most part by the men opposing con-
servation in general. If effective state
conservation were probable those same
men would be deriding state control
ard calling for national conservation
As FOR Mr.. Laffetry If he wants to
run for congress as a progressive he
should first make sure he belongs
with that wing of his party At pres
ent he has little to show for it. He
halls as a progressive but regarding
conservation he talks like a stand
patter In other words he is travelling
like saw horse" and it is hard to
say whether he is going or coming
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-07-27
DOLLIVER TIRED OF IT.

I do not like this idea of having Gus
tom-house officials, to whom most of
us have never been introduced, write
our tariff laws. 1t hurt my pride to
start with. I can conceal il from the
public, but you cannot conceal when
YOU are at home. Those who know
you begin to see what bubble this
senate business is; that its majority
does not represent unybody's ideas,
which my friend from oregon (Mr.
Bourne) so well says is the one potent
thing there is in this world; that its
debates have no significance; that
when you want to get anything done
send out to the custom-nouse and get
an expert that we have had flittering
can-to fix it up.
Well. I am tired Of it, and I will
tell you why. The veteran experts
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-07-27

orient The rate is different in many
places and in several is in odd cents
and even half cents. MT. Radcliff
started figuring out the total, when
the Chinese asked for five dollars
worth of dimes, or package of fifty.
Spreading these on the counter he
manipulated them for about a minute
snd announced the total, which was in
dcllars and odd cents.
A revision of his figures later show
ed he was right to a fraction.
The little old-fashioned machine
used by both Chinese and Japanese
is what formerly designated in this
country as an -Watsonville
Register
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-07-27

difference to the penalty that must be
paid sooner or later.
So far as pleasure is concerned and
the keen enjoyment Of life. they come
ir their heighest expression TO those
who most nearly obey natures law.
One time it was thought that the
mere mention of natures laws involv-
ec such a giving. up Of rational pleas
ure that nobody but an anchorite
could tackle the job. It is now be-
ing learned that choicest pleasures of
life come from their observance.
Know then thyselr' is one of the
worlds greatest commandments. Your
great asset is your health. which is
not to be nursed and coddled. but
promoted by certain simple physical
rules which every rational. red-blooi-
Ell individual will enjoy putting in
motion.
II is pleasant to hear from the head
a. q great womanS college that the
purpose Of the college is TO train
young women in perfect health and to
fit them for motherhood and as
household heads. We fear both OF
III ese features of education are being
largely lost sight of in the cases OF
young women. College training very
frequently has evolved something
fearful and wonderful to behold with
ideas of life and its duties so novel
that experienced people simply gasp
el to hear them. But if the college
can and will seriously undertake this
great labor, they will furnish theft
.profoundest justification for exist
aDna
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-07-27

that are given carte blanche to fix up
our laws do not appeal to me as they
used to. Behind nearly every veter-
an expert that fe have had flittering
around here in recent years is the
veteran manager of the enterprise
that is to be fixed.
How long does the senate of the
United States propose that these great
interests, affecting every man. wo-
man and child in the United States
shall be managed with brutal tyranny
without debate and without knowl-
edge and without explanation by the
very people that are engaged in mo-
nopOlizing the great industries of the
world that propose to impose intol-
cradle burdens upon the market
place of the United States?
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-07-27
q. q. q. T9E FDR 2aAH s9pofuHA fURz

blood of
Of
which
its
frequently
is in
middle
and
It
rching building
richness
fua blood
OIL o andre
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-07-27
HIS COURSE Is PLAIN.

In cartoon yesterday the Portland
Oregonian pictured Average Voter as
sadly perplexed over the numerous
county division bills that have been
filed and upon which he must vote
in November. The questions involv-
ed seem as "clear as mud to him.
But average Voter need not wor-
~ much over the division bills. His
course in the matter should be plain.
The people who have initiated the
numerous division bills have done so
in abuse of the initiative privilege,
Division questions are local questions
and they should be settled by the
people of the counties interested. A
law calling for such a method of solv-
ing division issues will be passed. The
divisionists are afraid of such a law
land they are trying to railroad their
schemes through this year and hope
the people will vote blindly for their
Initiative measures.
Average Voter should get ready to
vote mo" upon every division bill
upon the ballot. This is the only
safe course for him to take. He can
not hope to pass intelligently upon the
merits of the various bills and so the
logical thing to do is TO insist that
those measures be held in allegiance
until the state devises a more salts
factory way of settling such issues.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-07-27
HEALTH AND WOMANHOOD.

Mrs.. Caroline Hazard, who has just
retired as the head Of Wellesley col
Iege struck a popular chord when
she declared it to be the duty Of
schools to promote the good health
Of young women and 10 fit them to
become good wives, mothers and
hOmemakers.
Commenting upon Mrs. Hazards re-
firing address the Evening Telegram
had the following:
Good health Is the basis Of every
thing in human life. II can easily
and pIeasurably be acquired. Right
eating. right sleeping, right clothing
plenty Of exercise and plenty Of fresh
air will do it for any girl. no matter
how delicate she may be az the start
Every one Of these things deserves
serious consideration, not alone be-
cause Of its individual effect, but for
the vast influence it will exercise up
on the coming generation of men and
women.
II Is surprising how little thought
is given to this most important sub
5ect. II is true Of men as well as OF
women Nobody pays any attention
TO the study Of his own physical struc-
ture until there is evidence Of break
ing down or deterioration. AS a mat
ter of fact most of the ills from which
humanity suffers from middle life on
ward. are brought about through ig-
norance, carelessness or callous In
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-07-27
COVER THE HILLS"
he hills and far away'

"Over the hills and far away!"
It's as true today as yesterday;
For Love comes in and Love goes out,
And wonders what we are weeping
about.
cover the hills,"-NIy heart, my
heart.
What is it breaks when loved ones
part?
oh! the haunted eyes and the SWIM
ming mist,
When We seek in vain for the lips
we kist
When Love came first on fragrant
wings
We forgot Loves self amid Loves
sweet things,
With never a thought of the bitter
day
When Love should greet US from far
away.
over the hills and far away!
oh, t. easy to weep and hard to pray;
Let Love came once and he came to
stay,
Tho the ocean sewers us twain today.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-07-27
DIDN'T NEED TT

He walked~int a newspaper office
confidently and took a seat.
Are you the manager?" he asked
briskly. .'
What can I do for your" replied
the newspaper man in a non-com-
initial tone.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-07-27

BY the sudden death OF W. Roy
Saxton Umatilla county lost a young
man who was so universally beloved
that the news of his death came as
9 tragic shock
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-07-27
ASSURANCE.

bone saw an artist Ger his self =
appointed task
, Toll patiently through many =
months, and stopped to =
ask
} art thou assured that to thy =
, work the gods will give
, Such beauty as through all the 4
; years will make it live?" .
, "Ah. no, l know not if the work Z
B on which my hand
, Now tries its skill shall e'er 4
, with works immortal 4
, stand;
But this I know: that striving
ceaselessly will bring
, The power TO do in time some
, far more worthy thing" 4
B Strive on Days in themselves 4
may unavailing be,
, AND cherished schemes may fail, 4
, but trust and thou shalt 4
, How work repays itself. No eff I
, fort is in vain;
, In Gods Great Book each loss
is balanced by gain.
Katherine Quinn.
. q O o q . Q = d . . Q Q g
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-07-27

1t is possible that the regulars"
will allow Garfield to take the gub-
ernatorial nomination in Ohio in
hopes that Harmon will defeat him
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-07-27

Judging from the expressions Of
state papers of all political faiths, the
assembly has widened instead Of clos
Cd the breach in the republican party.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-07-27

Those people in the hot states of
the east would appreciate the cool
eastern Oregon nights.