The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1910-01-17
MR.. PETERS
DISCOURAGING
FAILURE
BY MAX ADELEa

yesterday on Passyunk avenue"
When Peters handed the item to tn
editor. that individual said:
Peters, that is too short. II is no
full enough. You must expand 1t
little"
So Peters sat down and rewrote /
as follows:
Yesterday at half-past IL o'clock, {
man named John Wilson, while walk
ing along Passyunk avenue, near Clin
ton street. was kicked in the side b,
vicious mule, and badly hurt
Peters" said the editor as he
looked this over, this won't do. ii il
not sufficiently vivid What you want
in an item is picturesque quality;
you need the element of imagination
You must poetize your items, as ii
We're. | think will pay you by the
column, so as to incite you to effort in
the proper direction
"You want it poetized, do you?'
asked Peters.
Yes work it up with an eye to
dramatic effect"
All right said Peters, "lll put ii
through in the proper style"
So Peters went back to his desk.
and an hour or two later he had pro
duced an item something like this:
Yesterday Cab! yesterday! an
other day added to the rolling tide of
years that sweeps backward into the
mournful past bearing with it bur
den of human scrrow!) an American
citizen (proud titlel Prouder than
the glittering baubles of rank be-
slowed upon their creatures by pitt
less despots; title that our revolu
tionary forefathers bore covered with
halo Of glory) named (Whats in A
name9 John Ga name borne by some
OF the greatest men that ever lived)
Wilson, was walking (and no better
physical exercise has ever been dis
covered 1t develops every muscle.
and gives all the organs of the BODY
free and active play) down (that is to
say southeast with slight inclina-
tion to the southwark Passyunk av-
enue (so-called because the Indians
gave the title of Passyunk to the
creek that erst meandered through
that region) It was about 1--WE are
not positive as to the very minute)
half-past twelve o'clock (high noon),
the glorious sun was looming through
the celestial vault Of azure at the
rate of millions a mile a second (that
is, apparently looming, for the as
tronomers tell lis that the earth moves
and not the SUM, and shining mean
time upon scene of more than love
llness. A mule Can animal well
known to the early Egyptians. and
traces of which are found upon Baby
lonian bricks) stood at the corner OF
Clinton street, calmly (the mule is al.
ways calm. Where, where on earth is
there a spirit more imperturbed and
less excitable than his?) eating with
apparent relish, tool some (perhaps
dozen pounds Of hay (timothty. we
were informed) from the tail-end Of
a wagon. ct was a Jersey wagon,
without springs, and with yellow
Mr. Wilson, casting his eye
(figuratively casting it, Of course-not
literally over the frame of the pa
tient animal, observed burr (such as
Is produced in the Jersey swamps in
rich profusion) upon the tail Of the 4
mule, He felt philanthropic impulse
(known only to the hearts Of the truly
humane) to remove the tantalizing
(the word is derived from Tantalus.'
Tor which see any classical dictionary |
SO as to make the mule |
more comfortable. He seized the tail
with his left hand (if we are correct
y informed), and took hold of the /
1urr It stuck, and it is supposed that I
N pulling it he must have hurt the
mule, for the mule suddenly let drive
With both feet (hind feet), and struck I
Mr.. Wilson somewhere in the vicinity I
Of the fifth rib. reference to a good +
picture of skeleton will enable the
'eader to locate the exact spot) [
While the mule resumed with an ap
)earance of Indifference its frugal re.
,ast, Mr. Wilson was doubled all up.
md his spirit wandered in the realms
# Inconsistencies He Chat is, Mr.
not the mule) was"
At this point Mr.. Peters concluded
o show the item to the editor, to see
( it would suit
"If you like it," said Peters. "1'm 60.
ng right along with a column or so
nore, giving fun account Of VIII
on's misery, an algebraic formula for
he calculation Of the velocity Of
lule's hoofs, and picturesque de-
Of the magnificent vista
'hich would have met Wilson's view
the muscular force Of the mule had
cen sufficient to have sent him to an
levation as high as the snow-line.
ow do you thing that will do?"
Then the editor called the cashier
nd instructed him to pay Peters to
ate and discharge him, and to call d
oliceman 70 put him out If force
hould be necessary.
Peters has given up journalism He
! writing up advertisements for a
ew kin6 OF hair.dye
Her Bright Idea.
The Naughter Of Providence
ergyman was reading in her eccles.
lefira1 manor an arcounf of "a raIic,i (