davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25
h Nervous Laugh.

The French say that we do not
laugh much, and that when we do 1t
Is in a measured, deliberate manner.
The French can neve have seen an
English audience at a play of senti-
ment. An English audience where
pathos occurs Is a most peculiar
thing. 1t treats the danger of ap-
pearing to be affected by sentiment
Just as the average pedestrian treats
the danger of being run down by a
cab. It laughs. When a man has
escaped being impaled on a shaft or
f1attened into jelly by the bonnet of
a motor, his first feeling Is one Of self
consciousness, and he emits the Ner-
vous Laugh. 1t Is the anne in the
theatre. The theatre-goer adores
pathos, but resists it. Often one
thinks that now at last the audience
has surrendered itself to the grip of
a scene crammed with fearful beauty.
And 1t Is just then that something In
the house goes snap, and the nervous
laugh breaks the tense silence. We
hope that the actors on the stage do
not misunderstood this laugh. 1t is
not ridicule. 1t is the greatest trib-
ute that an English audience can pay
to pathos. We think that everybody
should unite in bolstering up the ner-
vous laugh. Already we have noticed
a sort of rival to it. During a senti-
mental passage the other night the
laugh was drowned by the Riven Sou,
Sneeze. Surely the Nervous Laugh
is to be preferred.-London Globe.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25
How a Joke Bought a Horse.

Charles Mathews, the famous Eng
.ish actor, once INDUCED disastrously
In his we'll known taste for mimicry.
The ridicule on this occasion was at
the expense of Mr.. Tattersall during
a sale of blooded stock conducted by
that well-known auctioneer.
"The first lot, gentlemen" said
Mr.. Tattersall, sis a bay FLY by Smo-
Iensko."
1.-The first lot, gentlemen" echoed
Mr.. Mathews in the same tone of
voice, "is a bay filly by Smolensko."
The auctioneer looked somewhat
annoyed, says the writer of English
Comedians of the Past" but pro-
ceeded:
well, what shall we begin WITH"
"Well, what shall we begin WITH"
replied the echo.
Still endeavoring to conceal his
vexation, Mr.. Tattersall inquiringly
called out:
Zone hundred ~guineas?"
lone hundred guineas," echoed
Mathews.
"Thank you, sir" cried Mr.. latter
sail, bringing down the hammer with
a bang, "the flly is yours."-Phila-
delphia Record.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25


The Paris Revue, in order to find
out how men of thought and action
stand toward the feeling of being
afraid, has asked some notable
Frenchmen whether they know fear.
M. Alfred Loisy, the we'll known pro-
lessor of the College de France, ex-
plains that he has not the military
temperament, and though he cannot
boast of bravery he has never known
fear. Perhaps" he adds modestly,
cit is because I have never been in
great peril" M. Victor Marguerite,
the author, boldly avowed that
sometimes" he had been afraid, but
that'"fear is more of a physical trou-
BILE than a feeling"-in fact, ike be-
ing hot or cold, hungry or thirsty.
M. A. Meziere, though he has V
trembled, not even under fire, knows
what fear is, for he looked into its
face one day when galloping along
on horseback he suddenly found him
self facing an express train. M.
Observation-Disclosures, of the Acade-
mie of Medicine, owns up to frequent
pangs of fear, and points out that
those who have W. been afraid
must be blind, because they have
never seen danger, Dr. dense, because
they have not felt its threatening ap-
proach. M. r. P%oincare, the orator,
while explaining that he knows no
fiercer battles than those fought at
the bar and the tribunal, admits that
he never goes to these without fear.
But, he adds, the remedy is always
the same, Go ahead! You are afraid
as you put your armor on, afraid be-
fore the battle, afraid as you rise to
speak; but once you are on your feet
and speaking you are no longer
afraid. w Gazette.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25
A Lapse of Memory.

Forgetting that he had started to
draw a gallon of whisky from a bar
rel in the cellar, A. C. Hidlay, pro-
prietor of the Hotel Hidlay, Blooms
burg, Pa, left the spigot turned on
and went upstairs. Two hours later
he remembered 1t and fastened there.
He found that it had all run away
and into the sewer. His loss because
of his lapse of memory will be about
$1OO.-Philadelphia Record.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25

[ am now enjoying."-Mrs. SARAH
LoUsIGNoNT, Ala S. Livingston Street,
Brookfeld, Nc.
The Change of Life is the most crit
cal period of a woman's existence, and
neglect of health at this time invites
disease and pain.
Women everywhere should remem-
Der that there is no other remedy
known to medicine that will so sue
cessfully carry women through this
trying period as Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound, made from ma
tive roots and herbs.
For 80 years it has been curing wo-
men from the worst forms of female
INSTRUMENTATION, liberation, dis
placements, fibroid tumors, irregulari-
ties, periodic pains, backache, and
nervous prostration.
IF you would like special advice
about your case write a cOnfiden.
tial letter to Mrs. Pinkham, at
Lynn, Mass. Her advice is Free
and always helpful.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25
A ~God-Fearing Set.

The reverence for the Sabbath in
Scotland sometimes takes a form n
would hardly have anticipated.
An old Highland man once ex-
planned to an English tourist:
They're a God-fearing set O. folks
here, sir, deed they are, and I'll give
ye an instance OF. Last Sabbath,
Just as the kirk was skalin', there
was a drover chap frae Dumfries
along the road, whistlin' and lockin'
as happy as if it ia middle o ia week.
Weel, sir, our laads is a G~od-fearing
set O. lads, and they just set upon
him and almost killed him."-Tit-
Bits. 9
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25
The Field of Sports.

Newell Banks, of Detroit, Mich,
won the checker championship OF
America.
Great Britain sent a challenge to
the Au~stralasians for the Davis inter.
national trophy.
A movement to erect a suitable
monument over the grave of Jacob
Schaefer, the billiard champion, has
been started.
AID Wolgast, the conqueror OF Bat
thing Nelson, arrived at his home in
Cadillac, Mich, and was welcomed by
a crowd of 2000 persons and a brass
band.
The Naval Academy gymnasts won
over Rutgers College by a o OF
thirty-four to fourteen,
James Curren, a Scotch distance
runner, is helping to coach the Penn.
~sylvania cross-country men.
President Taft has consented to
have a trophy to be competed for by
a race across the Atlantic called The
Presidents Cup"
According to the plans of the pro
moters the prices for Jeffries-Johnsor
tickets will range from $40 to 500.
Three Suburban Handicap winners
-Nealon, Ballot and Fitz Herbert
are among the sixty-two nominations
to the EmpireiC City Handicap.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25

other dye. Ono Ice. package eelors all fbers.
c for free boeklct-How to Dye, Bleach and Nil
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25
FOR the Skin and Scalp.

Because Of it's delicate. emollient,
~sanative, antiseptic properties derived
from Cuticura Ointment, united with
the purest of cleansing ingredients
and most refreshing of flower odors.
Cuticura Soap is unrivaled for pre-
serving, purifying and identifying the
skin, scalp, hair and hands, and, as
sisted by C~uticura Ointment, for dis
polling itching, irritation and infam-
nation and preventing clogging of
the pores, the cause of many disfgur-
ing facial eruptions. All who delight
in a clear skin, soft, white hands, a
clean, wholesome scalpand live, glossy
hair, will find that Cuticura Soap and
Cuticura Ointment realize every ex-
pectation. Cuticura Remedies are
sold throughout the world. Potter
Drug & Chem. Corp, sole proprietors,
Boston, Mass. Send to them for the
latest Cuticura Book, an authority on
the best care of the skin, scalp and
hair. 1t is mailed free On request.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25
A LITTLE THING
Changes the Home Feeling.

Coffee blots out the sunshine from
many a home by making the mother,
or some other member of the house
hold, dyspeptic, nervous and irritable.
There are thousands of cases where
the proof is absolutely u~ndenfable.
Here Is one.
A Wis. mother writes:
81 was taught to drink coffee at
an early age, and also at an early age
became a victim to headaches, and as
1 grew to womanhood these head
aches became a part of me, as I was
scarcely ever free from them.
about five years ago a friend
urged me to try Postum. made the
trial and the result was SO ~satisfac-
tory that we have used it ever since.
my husband and little daughter
were subject to bilious attacks, but
they have both been entirely free
from them since We began using Pos
tum instead of coffee. l no longer
have headaches and my health Is per-
feet"
If some of these nervous, tired, ir-
ritable women would only leave off
coffee absolutely and try Postum they
would find a wonderful change in
their life. 1t would then be filled
with sunshine and happiness rather
than WEAKNESS and discomfort. And
think what an effect it would have on
the family, for the mood of the moth
er is largely responsible for the tem-
per of the children.
Read 1.-THE Road to MELVILLE" in
pkgs. There's a Reason"
Ever read the above letter? A new
one appears from time to time. They
r genuine. true, and full OF human
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25
Rev. Carr Wallace Pritchett Dead.
v1adimir Bourtseff Not Poisoned.

St. Louis, Mo. Vladimir Bourt-
self. the Russian revoluttonist. ar
rived here from Chicago. He said he
did not know the identity of the man
who was reported poisoned in a Paris
cafe.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25
Wedding to the Majority.

A Philadelphia physician, in de-
claring that insanity was frequently
productive of sound logic tempered
nv wit. told the story of a patient he
once met in an asylum.
He came across this patient wnlie
strolling through the grounds, and.
stopping, spoke to him. After a prieI
conversation on conventional topics
the physician said:
"Why are you here?" -.
"Simply a difference OF OPINION
replied the patient. II said all men
were mad, and all men said l was
mad-and the majority won!"-Lfp-
pincott's.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25
Hours of Wages

Senator Smith, OF SouLn CdrOIlna,
was named in the Senate to take the
place on the price Investigating COM
mittee of Senator Simmons, of the
neighboring State of North Carolina.
X 4 X
Mr.. Davenport, Commissioner of
the Pension Office, appointed to posi-
lions in the bureau sever of the ten
clerks dismissed five years ago by
Commissioner Vespa-
Pension Clerks sian Warner, for a
Reinstated. clerical error, and
who had been fighting
for reinstatement ever since. Three
of the men returned to places are BEN
efciaries of an executive order by.
President Taft. They are James A.
Compton, William E.. Dulin and
George P. Meyer, who, not being vet
Grams of the Civil War;, had to have
the Chief Executive make an order
before they could be returned again
to the rolls. The other four are Man
uel johnson, Roland G. Cheesman,
Ashland B. Swiggott and Urbane A..
Dennison. The others dismissed have
since died.
X X x
A hearing before the Agricultural
Committee of the House on Represen-
tative Lafean's bill providing for h
grading and Standardization of apples
brought out the fact that
Want since Canada has adopted
Standard this plan her apples have
Apples. brought higher prices
than those of New York.
J. P. Hale, secretary of the Horticul-
tural Society of Connecticut, favored
the bill, and said that before Canada
adopted a grading system her apples
brought twenty-five cents a bushel
less than those from New York, but
that in recent years the situation was
almost reversed. He said that for
eign countries were suspicious of
American apples because, while they
are good on top of the barrel, those
on the bottom are "nubbins." Apple
producers from Oregon and Washing
ton spoke against the bill.
X X X
The seven cadets recently ordered
dismissed from the Military Academy
for hazing may have an opportunity
to escape that penalty if an amend
ment adopted by the
Chance For Senate Committee on
Cadets. Military Affairs is en-
acted. This amendment
provides that the superintendent OF
the academy shall make regulations
defining hazing and providing dismis-
sal, suspension and other adequate
penalties proportioned to the degree
of guilt; that any cadet charged with
hazing which would entail dismissal
may, on request, be tried by a general
court martial, and this provision shall
apply to all cases on which final &C.
ton has not been taken. 1t is under
stood that final action has not been
taken on the cases of the seven men
ordered dismissed, so that they may
still have an opportunity to prove
their innocence before a general court
martial. A further provision of the
amendment is that in the case of a
cadet dismissed for hazing he shall
not be eligible for reappointment to
the army, navy or marine corps until
two years after the class from which
he was dismissed is graduated, which
In most cases would lee permanent
dismissal because of the age limit.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25

An aching back is instantly
relieved by an application of
Sloan's Liniment.
This liniment takes the place
of massage and is better than
sticky plasters. 1t penetrates
- without rubbing through
the skin and muscular tissue
right to the bone, quickens the
blood, relieves congestion, and
gives permanent as well as
temporary relief.
Here's the Proof.
Mr.. JAMES G. LEE, of HOO 9th St.,
Sc, Washington, DC, writes 'aThirty
years ago 1 fell from a scaffold and seri-
ously injured my back. l suffered terri
bly, at times from the small of my back
all around my stomach was just as If I
had been beaten with a club. 1 used
every plaster 1 could get with no relief.
Sloan's Liniment took the pain right
out, and L can now do as much ladder
work as any man in the shop, thanks to
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25
Favor Retaliation by Canada.
Town Gets Three.Cent Check.

Lenox, Mass.-The town of Lenox,
the home of the largest summer re-
sort colony of millionaires In New
England outside of Newport, received
from the State Treasurer of Massa-
chusetts a check for three cents as its
share of the corporation tax paid into
the State Treasury in 1903.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25
BEEF TRUST MEN INDICTED.
Chicago Federal Grand Jury Accuses
Armours. Morrises and Swifts.


Armours, Morrises and Swifts.
Chicago, Ill.-Indictments were re-
turned by the Federal Grand jury
against the National Packing Com
pany DIETER known as "the Beef
Trust") and its subsidiary companies.
charging violation of the Antitrust
law.
The defendants to the bill are the
National Packing Company, H. G..
Hammond Company, Hammond Pack
ing Company, Omaha Packing Com
pany, Anglo-American Provision Com
pany, Fowler Packing Company,
United Dressed Beef Company, ST.
Louis Dressed Beef and Provision
Company, Western Packing Company,
Colorado Packing and Provision Com
pany, New York Butchers Dressed
Meat Company, Continental Packing
Company, Armour & Co., Swift & Co.,
Morris & Co., Edward Tilden, Louis
F. Swift, Edward F. Swift, Charles
H. Swift, L. A. Carton, Frank A.
Fowler, J. Ogden Armour. Arthur
Meyer, Thomas J. Connors, Edward
Morris, Thomas E. Nilsson, and L, H.
Heyman.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25

That the pure food and drugs act
is being theoretically enforced is
made manifest by the number Of
prosecutions which have been insti-
tuted and won. More
Pure Food than 200 prosecutions
Prosecutions. have occurred under
this law, and in all but
three the Government has been the
victor. In the matter of foods n of
the most frequent violations was
found to consist of underweight pack
ages. This practice is believed now
to have been practically stopped, al
though there will be no cessation of
the vigilance which has produced
such satisfactory results. In the case
of drugs there has been a determine
ton to prevent the advertising of pat
ent medicines as cures for diseases
for which they were no remedy.
Much still remains to be done in this
direction, but a great deal has been
accomplished, and it is confidently ex-
pected that much more will be. The
use of preservatiyes without a frank
statement on the label of their pres
ence has been prosecuted in every
Ease where 1t has been discovered,
and will continue to be.
X X X
Not only have wages outstripped
prices in the rapid rise of which there
has been so much complaint recently,
but the hours of labor have been de-
creased, according
Wages Outstripped to a report from
The Rise in Prices. the Bureau of La
Dor sent to the
Senate for the enlightenment of the
Food Price Committee. 1t was Of
fered by Senator Smoot, of Utah, to
be printed: Here is the demonstra-
ton made by different tables con-
tanned in the report. In the first col
umn is given "the average price of
food weighed according to family
consumption"
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25
Lunatic Dennison killed Boys.

Lunacy Commissioners in New
York City who inquired into the men,
tai condition of Herbert jerome Den
nison reported having secured evil
dence to prove that he killed the Lo.
mas and SHIRLEY boys in January, de-
clared him a hopeless homicidal ma
MAC and blamed lax methods in in
sane asylums for the crimes.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25

Munyon's Paw Paw Pills coax the liver
into activity by gentle methods. They do
not scour, grippe or weaken. They are a
tonic to the stomach, liver and nerves;
inyigorate instead Of weaken. They en-
rich the blood and enable the stomach to
get ali the nourishment from food that il
put into it. These pills contain no Gallo
mel; they are soothing, healing and slim
ulating. For sale by all druggists In 10c
and 25c sizes. If you need medical ad-
vice, write Munyon's Doctors. They viii
advise to the best of their ability abso-
lutely free of Charge. MUNYON'S, 6Sd
and Jefferson Sts, Philadelphia, Pa
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25
Mrs. Cleveland and Mrs. Harri-
son Get $4,000 a Year Pension

Washington, D. G. = The Senate
Committee on Pensions agreed to re-
port favorably bills to grant pensions
of $4,000 a year to Frances F. Cieve-
land, widow of ex-President Grover
Cleveland, and Mary Lord Harrison.
widow of ex-President Benjamin Har-
rison. At the same time the commit
mittee declined to report a bill which
would place .ex-President Roosevelt
on the retired list as COMMANDMENT
Chief of the Army and Navy n
give him $4,000 a year for life.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25
BY CABLE.
Belgium Ready For Tariff War.

Belgium Ready For Tariff War.
Brussels.-The Government has
submitted a bill providing for repris-
ais against France If the tariff meas
ure pending in the French Parlia-
ment is passed.
Peasant Planned Auto Crash.
Observation-Disclosures into the
deaths of the Argentine Consul Gel
ger and four friends, in an automo-
bile accident shows that their car, in
which they were riding after night
fall, crashed into a tree, which had
been deliberately felled so that 1t
lay across the road. 1t is believed
that the accident was planned by a
peasant seeking revenge for the
death Of a child who had been killed
by an automobile.
Giovanni Lamperti Dead.
Berlin.-Giovanni Lamperti, the
famous singing teacher, died here.
He was seventy years old. Lamperti
taught first In Milan, and then in
Paris and Dresden. For the last five
years he had taught singing in Ber-
lin. He trained many famous sing
ers, including Nine. Sembrich.
Credits Hartman With Plan.
London.-The London representa-
tive of a Vienna paper states that
American Secretary of State Knox's
proposition for the internationaliza-
ton Of the Manchurian railways IN
reality Is only a sequel to the series
of negotiations carried on with the
Russian Government by Hartman.
Reform Plan to Committee.
London.-The House of Lords re-
ferred Lord Roseberry's reform res
olutions to a committee.
Vienna Awaits q. s.. Envoy.
Vienna.-Charles S. Francis, for.
merly American Ambassador to Aus
tria, will present his letters OF recall
Nobody knows when his successor.
Colonel Richard C. Kerens, will ar
rive. Colonel Roosevelt may find nc
American Ambassador to welcome
him.
Elevator in st. Peters.
ROme.-An elevator is Planned III
side the wall of the stairs designed by
Michael Angelo in St. Peters. run
ming from the ground floor to the
dome, $50 feet high. Ceremonies In
connection with the beginning of the
work were held on the Pope's name
day.
More Rioting at Bogota.
Bogota, Colombian attempt to-
renew the street railway service by
the American syndicate here resulted
in rioting. The houses of the Colon
bians employed by the company were
stoned and much damage was dom
Concessions on Canned Goods.
Caracas, Venezuela. = American
Minister Russell obtained from the
Government a decree granting con-
cessions in the tariff on canned goods
imported from the United States un-
der the terms of the m~ost-favored ma
ton clause.
Warship Returns.
Colon, Panama.-The United States
auxiliary cruiser Prairie arrived here
from BIuefields and locked at Pier
H., Cristobal. where she will await
the marines returning from Nicara-
qua
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25
Chinaman,s Rich Find.

Auburn, Cal.-Ah Kai, a China
man. has cleaned up s2O4,000 from a
gravel Pit at You Bet, just across
Bear River from Dutch Flat. Kaf
leased the ground, ran a 200-foot
tunnel and struck an old river bed.
1t is the largest find since the early
Gays of Placer County gold mining.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25
PUTNAM FADELESS DYES

dive in cold water better than any other dye: Yor
rs MONROE DRUG CO., quincy Illinois.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25
500 a Head For Oklahoma Beef.

st. Raul, Minn.-The administra-
tors Of the estate of J. s. Kennedy, OF
New York City, have offered to pay
$4,000 to settle Minnesota's claim
of $3.50, 900 Inheritance tax.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25

In consequence of q Lahore literary
society announcing a lecture, Man,
the Index of Creation" the city au-
thorities sent seventy-fve armed con-
stables down to the lecture hall,
which only held fifty people.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25

Write Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago,
for 48-page Illustrated Eye Book Free.
Write ali about Your Eye Trouble and
they will advise as to the Proper Applica-
ton of the Murine Eye Remedies in Your
Special Case. Your Druggist will tell you
ems Weak Eyes, Doesn't Smart, Soothes
Eye Pain, and sells for Soc. Try It in Your
Eyes and in Baby's Eyes, for Scaly Eyelids
and Granulation.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25
Mabray Gets Two Years Prison.

John C. Mabray and nine others,
convicted of fraudulent use of the
mails in connection with fake rae
ing schemes at Council Bluffs, Iowa,
were sentenced to two years in the
p~enitentiary and $4,000 fine each.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25
Woman Smuceler Arrested.

Mrs. c.. A. Wollmap, of Helena,
Mont, was arrested on a charge of
attempting to smuggle when gowns
and jewelry, which she said were not
bought abroad, were found in her
baggage.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25
Ranlx EmbehzJer Caught.

Thomas Browne, alleged embezzler
of 5000 from the Carnegie Trust
Company, New York City, was caught
in Los Angeles with Mabel Love,
whom he persuaded to elope,
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25
Too I'll For Church. Drowned.

Because i'll health prevented her
from attending church services, Mrs.
drowned herself in a cistern at Mas
sillon, Ohio.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25

In point Of commercial value, the
silver product of the United states
last wear was the smallest since 1871.
Mint bureau figures give the gold
value of the 5~3,S49,000 ounces fine
produced in 1909 as $2S,010,10O,
making the price 52.016 cents an
ounca N. Y.-12
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25
Giovanni Lamperti Dead.

Berlin.-Giovanni Lamperti, the
famous singing teacher, died here.
He was seventy years old. Lamperti
taught first In Milan, and then in
Paris and Dresden. For the last five
years he had taught singing in Ber-
lin. He trained many famous sing
ers, including Nine. Sembrich.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-03-25

QdU6S d w tLlO
time that wo men
may expect nature
to brine on them
the Change of Life:
got a bottle Of
E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Com
pound and it made
me feel much better,
and [ have contin-
ued it's use. / am
very grateful to you
for the good health