Polk County observer. (Monmouth, Polk County, Or.) 1888-1927, 1910-12-02
GANDERBONE'S FORECAST
FOR DECEMBER.
Copyright 1910 by g. H. RIETH.

Thought to steal another one,
But when, with bacon 40 cents,
He thought upon the consequence
And what he probably would get
In case he landed in the net,
The lawyers he would have to hire
TO save him from the butchers ire,
The money Cudahy would spend
To push it to the bitter end,
The merciless concern of Swift
TO see he, was not set adrift,
The sum that Armour, If he fed,
Would offer for him live or dead,
And how the unforgiving lust
For vengeance would move the trust
To make example of him lest
Some other piper's son protest
Against pork chops at thirty fiat,
And picked pigs feet selling at
Six-bits a dozen, souse a bit,
And sausage even close to it
When Tom considered it, in brief,
And also how much more thief
He would be this time than before,
He wisely passed the butchers door,
Rejoiced that self had stood the test
And went on hoping for the best.
December is from the Latin decem,
meaning ten. It was originally the
tenth month of the year, but owing to
the widespread unpreparedness for
Christmas it has been showed along
from time to time, until it occurs now
as far back as we have been able to
get it. Caesar, who was in the habit
of making each of his soldiers some
kind of a present. even suggested
pushing it further along still and hav-
ing about fifteen months in each year,
but the Roman merchants protested
that it was impossible to sell holiday
goods except in very cold weather, and
Brutus, Cassius and several other Ro-
man business men finally stabbed him.
The custom of giving presents was
originated by the Greeks, and they had
such a faculty for getting the better of
it when they exchanged presents with
anyone that the expression Beware of
the Greeks bearing gifts!" became his
toric 1t was on a Christmas day when
all the Greeks were showing what they
had gotten and were laughing about it,
that Diogenes who made a practice of
critlcising the national faults in some
amusing way, set out on his famous
search for an honest man. The Per-
slams one time resorted to arms in an
effort to get their presents back, but
they We're badly defeated at the battle
of Marathon, and no serious attempt
to get presents back has ever been
made from that time to this.
The colt will burrow in the stack,
and the festive colt will arch his back
and gambol at fearful gait to make
his ichor circulate. The bear will slum-
ber in his bed and dream that Roose-
welt is dead, and the Winter night will
worry through the wolf k-yi-ing
down the flue.
The wind will push against the door,
and our old friend Boreas will roar
and fill the Winter night and fell with
samples of his college yell. The price
of eggs will feel imbued to beat the
mark for altitude, and butter will cav
ort around about two miles above the
ground.
o happy man that has his hold
stocked up against the Winters cold.
and has no urgent need to reck how
many storms may sweep his deck
Who has his scuppers bulging kraut
and all things ship-shape in and out,
and all the products of his cline right
at the portfolios all the time.
o happy day that fixed our pick
upon this land and bade us stick our
newborn colors in the ground and
claim the country lying round! And
cheers, moreover, one, two, three, for
freedoms aborigine, who did not
prove so awful stout but what we all
could throw him out;
1t is the place, and no mistake, for
raising provender to bake. and giving
freely of the least essential to a
Christmas feast. A bug or so is on the
job, and the weather frequently plays
hob but on the whole and in the sum
we're dog-gone happy that We come.
On the 21st of December the sun
will cross the Tropic of Capricorn,
which will give the trusts the ball on
our five-yard line, one down to go.
They will go over on the next play.
and Mr.. Rockefeller, who Is playing
greenback for the trusts this year, will
kick goal. The feature OF the Christ
mas viii be that Mr.. Roosevelt won't
have any. He isn't taking any chances
of Santa Claus even handing him any
thing else this year.
Our Mr. Morgan will revert