Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1910-04-20

was discovered IN little bookstore.
The bookseller eyed the buyer curious
ly. but with some awe. and seemed
very glad to get rid OF it for % cents.
Twenty-Five centsl How instantly |
reminiscent of one OF the Joe Miller |
jokes-beg pardon. jests:
THE LIGHT SUBJECT.
The government having threatened to |
proceed vigorously against those who re- |
fused TO pay assessed taxes. offered to |
them remission of one-fourth. This at |
least" said one sufferer. may be called |
giving them some quarter.
You can get that or in your vsey
next after dinner speech. You can put
a little accent on one-fexrth a>A QuG-
ter and get quite as loud laugh.
Second specimen Dit must be remem-
bcred that the jest book was compiled
in the early part of the eighteenth
century, when there were librarians;
therefore the jests that aren't blamed
on lords are mostly charged to writ
ersl:
A DIFFERENCE.
Jerrold one day met a Scotch gentleman
whose name was Leitch. who explained
that he was not the popular cartoonist
John Leech. Pm aware OF that said
Jerrold You're the Scotchman with the
itch in your name"
Therei Just think of the triumph with
which Mr. Jerrold later related that ouip
to his friends
Specimen:
THE CONNOISSEUR-
A person TO whom the curiosities. build
ings. etc. in Oxford were shown one very
hot day was asked by his companion II
he would see the remainder OF the univer-
sity. My dear sir replied the connois-
sour. 81 stone blind already 100
Whsaher the friend expired i'll
epaSms Of mirth or subsequently was
haxp~d ~ mayhem the Jest book
/ doesn't say.
The wit of the Irish is called in too.
Specimen:
F0R9 &C SHILLALAH.
A ssow on the gay. thinking to quiz
. POOR Irishman. ,Ssked him. How do the
potarocs eat now, Pat?' The Irish lad.
who happened 10 have a shillalah in his
hand. answered cleVerly: oh. they eat
very We'll my jewel! Would you like 10
taste the stake And knocking the in
Quirer down. he coolly walked OF.
Probably it was n good thing he
Knocked him down first.
Turning to the middle of the book
there are 400 pages-Joe breaks into
verse:
ON THE LATIN GERUNDS.
| When Dido mourned. Aeneas would not
She wept in silence and was Di-Do-Dumb.
Classic?
| Here's
BAD END
II was told OF Jekyll that one OF his
friends, a brewer. had been drowned in
his own vat. "Ah." he exclaimed. float
ing in his own watery bier!"
Right Off the bat that.
There's little Johnny also. He drops
in during jest:
THE SEASON-INGs.
Come here. Johnny. and tell me what
the four seasons are"
Young PpOAgy-Pepper salt. mustard
and vinegar.
Here's a little shot at politics and
the peer system:
EPIGRAM.
con Alderman Woods being afraid Il
J pledge himself to even the principles h
has always professed)
Sure In the house he'll do but little good
Who lets II dare not walt upon II
Wood" Il would.
} oh, listen. Talk about your origi
nality:
A SHORT JOURNEY.
!, POUNDS, fellow" exclaimed choleri
old gentleman to a very phlegmatic. mat
o ter of fact person, 81 shall go out of N
witsl''
well, you won't have far to CO." sal
n the phlegmatic man.
i Yes. and here's a small ebullitioi
y from Il dramatist:
OLD FRIENDS.
Coleman, the dramatst. asked
he knew Theodore Hook. Yes reptile
the wit. Hook and eye are old assoc
ates''
Hook was not present at the time.
The courts also come through wit
u few gems:
NEW RELATIONSHIP.
Stranger 20 law courts. hearing
tOlSe-ssl a sergeant brother" expresst
- surprise oh" said one OF the b.
ISLANDERS. they are brothers-brothers
law"
ID And speaking Of repartee:
II SHUFFLING ANSWER.
oil Two Oxonians dining together. one
them noticed a grease spot on the nee
cloth of his companion and said. Il $
you a Grecian.
"Poohv' said the other. THAT is IA
fetched
40 NO. indeed" said the wit: Il made
- on the spot
n Right back mt him. you observe.
h.. OF course there are some better one
a. but there are also some that are wors
a. Taken as II whole they don't add III
Iaurels to the English reputation (
IL, humor nor detract any from the OPT
N. ion of Mark Twain. KANSAS Ci
- Times.