davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05
INSURGENTS.


The Jam was all labeled and put on the shelf
The little boy climbed on chair
And sampled each jar with gastronomic Joy.
Plum. apricot blackberry. rear.
He had all he could cat and was sticky and sweet
But was Just reaching after some more,
When mamma appeared. and the insurgent got
taste q the slipper she wore.
Eighty Young miss who refused 20 obey
her mother. or stay iutO school.
Ran on and assumed the hymeueal yoke
In place Of her parents kind rule.
But, alas! she discovered her SONY mistake
When too late TO amend Il. Of course
= penitent insurgena home she returned,
And straightway applied for divorce.
A gallant who courted a beautiful girl,
And loved her. but hated to stop
his flirting with other young ladies, delayed
The question momentous 10 pop.
But when he implorcd her day and date
To name 70 the parsons 70 60
He met with frigid and final rebuff.
For his insurgent sweetheart said NO"
big politician who filed up for years
His bCttomless pockets with gold
From the purse Of the people. and in his demands
Grew still more insisteDt and bold.
Was at last OTCrthrOWu BY the friends he betrayed
For an inslrgont greedy was he.
And the public he pluudered rejoiced in his woe,
From his taxes and trickery free.
For none Of us ever is wholly content
With life and its gifts are.
And whether we banker for glory or gold
Or peaches put up In 4 jar.
Though sure that punishment painful and swift
Upon US is certain 10 fall
We rebel, and ct treasures forbidden we grasp.
Because we are insurgents al
-Ainna Irving, IN Ha-pTs Weekly.
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

Because DR.. ElIots five feet OF best
books" have been removed from the IL
brary of certain railroad trains many
newspapers are speaking Of the fall
ure' Of his selection. AS a matter Of
fact there has been no failure, except
that OF the railroad which made the ex-
pertinent. which was. It may be admitted
foolish one to attempt.
The Burlington Railroad put this five
feet shelf" Of books on four limited trains
running between Chicago and Denver.
trains which average 400 passengers a
journey OF 1000 miles. a count kept dur
ing a period Of two months showed that
only thirty-ive calls were made for any
OF the books. Because they were not
read people attribute failure to DR.. FL
lots selection.
But let it be remembered that DR.. FL
lot did not choose a 'fve-foot shelf Of
books for rapid consumption OF railway
journeys His selection Of books was
made with the statement that an uned-
ucated man could, from these volumes,
which he named, secure a sufficient
knowledge Of letters and philosophy to
carry him well through the world. OF
course the eminence Of DR.. Eliot in the
world Of letters caused his "hve-foot
shelf OF books to be widely advertised.
and doubtless. too. It caused many Of tho
books to be read. Yet because the pur-
pose OF Or. Eliot's recommendations was
so misunderstood and abused, and used
in a wrongful manner, his selection Is
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

held to have failed. Many people seem
to think that the failure argues that
Americans desire only light literature.
The Cleveland Leader. for instance, pokes
fun at the failure. and says:
For instance. 'Bathhouse john Of
Chicago, being a thrifty person. could
have been induced for a consideration to
ride on one OF the trains and read aloud
from The Golden Sayings OF Epictetus'
His friend. 'Hinkey Dink,' would doubt
less have accommodated by ostentatious-
ly perusing Apologize across the aisle.
with his feet jauntily perched on the back
of the chair ahead Of him.
An occasional cattle drover might have
been engaged to give variety to the
scenery by discussing the Meditations'
OF Marcus Aurelius Johnson's Vol
pone.' in the hands OF a brakeman,
ought 10 have proved frst-class attrac-
ton. Then there were the Journal OF
John Woolman, the Letters OF Cicero and
Pliny, and Adam Smiths Wealth of Ma
tiOns 10 fall back on. Who can say that
entertainment such as has never been
afforded might not have been provided
for those four limited trains?''
1t is sincerely 70 be hoped that the
much-heralded failure" OF the books Of
DR.. Eliots selection on the Burlington
Railroad will not be misunderstood. The
books he recommended are all Of them
good books; the best books OF their
kind in the world. To read them all is
to acquire a liberal education; TO know
them well Is to know and understand life
and its duties and responsibilities better:
to be informed with high ideals
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

From the MaryTille lNlo.l Tribune.
Parnelrs champion eater was in Mary
Vile Tuesday testing his storage capacity.
He was here a year ago and performed
pretty good astronomical stunt. stor-
ing away one and a half gallons OF ice
cream and two dozen oranges. This year
he inds that he is out Of condition. the
best he could do when he visited one OF
the city's ice cream refreshment estab-
lishments being the disposal OF one and
a half gallons Of ice cream When he
looked at the oranges he had to back Up
and admit that he wasn't the man he was
a year ago.
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05
La Toilette Leads Them All.

It would be the irony Of fate II, on this
rising tide OF radicalism. defeat should be
the portion of that pioneer radical Of the
land. Robert NJ. La Toilette. But this is
hardly to be apprehended. Doubtless his
State will remain loyal 10 him. The con-
test soon to be settled by primary. how
ever. Is evidently one Of the hardest in
which he ever engaged.
Whatever the outcome Of It. this un-
compromising warrior for reform must
be getting a lot OF grim satisfaction out
Of the present situation.
Unlike other insurgent Republicans OF
high station, he has not suddenly seen
the light and become a convert to a new
cause.
He cannot fairly be accused OF adopt
Ing any other mans ideas. or being iden-
tilted with this progressive movement
because it has become popular and now
promises we'll
He had convictions when it cost some
thing 10 have convictions and to promul-
gate them.
He has stood for them steadfastly.
courageously, tenaclousIy, and 20 the end,
Cold-shouldered in the past by party
men who clearly disapproved Of his prop
uganda; barely tolerated by Republican
leaders save when the eMgencies OF the
times necessitated cooperation; called a
demagogue. and destructionist. and a
dreamer OF bad dreams. La Toilette has
lived to see those who formerly looked al
him askance voluntarily come into his
state and take UP his fight.
His company. which they once Stunned
now they seek. and seek eagerly. The
cause for which he battled. single-hand.
ed, all these years is to-day a common
cause.
AS a tariff reformer. a champion OF thu
square deal. an antagonist OF mercenary
machine politics. a foe OF predatory
wealth. an advocate OF fair taxation. and
a jealous expounder Of progressive polit.
ical doctrines generally, this Wisconsin
apostle antedates Cummins. DoHiver
Bristow. Pinchot. Victor Murdoch, Bev-
eridge. Jimmy Garfield. William AIler
White. Theodore Roosevelt. and all the
rest.
He even antedates William Jennings
Bryan himself
When voice was ringing out by way
Of protest: Whats the matter with Kan.
sas?" to quiet restless populace. Ia
Toilette was discovering much the mat.
ter with Wisconsin, and forcing correct.
I've measures into effect that made FOR
better things. His part was not
shouting with the loudest crowd.
He was a reformer when reforming
was not in vogue
He was an insurgent when the tern
was a by-word and reproach.
And so, as we have said. whatever
| comes 10 him now there must be grin
satisfaction to this battle-scarred war.
rior in finding himself in large and re
spectacle national company that knew
him not IN the days when he was fight.
ing it out alone.
La Toilette is a demonstrated fact-s
man not merely Of language, but OF acts
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05
ObN Ions.

From the Chicago Tribune.
The steamer landed at the St. Joe
dock and the passengers began to disem-
bark
Whereupon the orchestra on the boat
struck Up Mendelssohns Wedding
March"
''Wilfred." said the pretty young thing
in white. blushing furiorsly. and turning
to the young man by her side. you've
told somebody
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05
Honest Enough.

I've been sending out boxes contain
ing fifty cigars. telling recipients 70
smoke ten and then send the money or
return the rest"
Are the recipients honest2"
They seem 10 be. I've been getting
back forty cigars right along. Some OF
them even send back forty-nine"
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05
Accommodating.

From the Boston Transcript.
Vacationist dn country store)-I wish
70 get some safety pins.
Clerk-Sorry, ma'am. we're all out OF
safety pins. but we have some fine safety
matches
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

From the EmpCTia Gazette.
A franchise 10 furnish gas 10 Emporia
was given 20 a firm for nothing a year
ago. The penalty for this company in
case it should fail 10 furnish gas for
ninety days was the revoking Of the fran
chise
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

Congress. for Massachusetts, and espe-
cially for Boston, which was so fervent
that it filed the bosom OF every man
present
On the first day Patrick Henry made
one Of his characteristic speeches: Gov
eminent is dissolved; fleets and armies
and the present state OF things show that
government is dissolved. Where are
your landmarks. your boundaries? We
are in a state OF nature. sir. I Will sub
nit, however; am determined 20 submit
If 1 am overruled. hope that future
ages will quote our proceedings with
applause. It is one Of the great duties
OF the democratic part Of our Constitu-
ton TO keep itself pure. The distinction
between Virginians, Pennsylvanians. New
Workers. and New Englanders are no
more. I am not Yirginian, but an Amer
lean"
During its first session Congress sat
with closed doors. The members had
taken an oath Of secrecy. and the public
waited with anxiety 70 hear the result
Of their deliberations. All eyes were
turned toward Philadelphia during the
convention. For three weeks little was
known OF their transactions. except that
they voted contributions to their brethren
at Boston. After the session was ended.
Congress was entertained at the City
Tavern by the assembly Of Pennsylvania.
On October &c. INA Congress adjourned.
recommending that the second CONT
mental Congress be again convened at
Philadelphia on May TO- no. Lord
Chatham, on comparing their works with
the masters Of the world. said OF them
that "for solGity OF reasoning. force OF
sagacity, and wisdom Of conclusion under
such a complication OF circumstances. no
nation or body OF men can stand IN
preference TO the first general Congress
at Philadelphia"
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

Mary had a little lamb.
Not much more than a bite.
The lamb was nice; II was the price
That spoiled her appetite.
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05
Good RendinE.

What sort OF magazine fiction do you
like best?"
Wen. I think I prefer those stories
telling how good the next number is
going 20 be-.
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

September Is the date OF the surren-
battle OF Copenhagen QSOO, and the naval
battle between the Enterprise and Boxer
(lSlS. It is the birthday Of Cardinal
Richelieu. Fench statesman q5s5; Louis
XIV Of France C6Ss: Robert Ferguson.
the Scottish poet Q75O), Thomas Eddy,
American philanthropist and author
Q75S); William Alexander Graham, Sec
rotary Of The Navy under Fillmore
GSOQ, and John G. Carlisle, Secretary OF
the Treasury under Cleveland dSS5). II
is the date Z the death Of Catharine
Parr. queen OF Henry VIII G549 (some
chroniclers give September .. and Jean
Francois Regnard. the French humorous
poet 17l0.
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

From the Detroit Free Press
We feel it our duty to announce that
people who put on their fannels now will
soon have cause to regret It
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

The author Of a recent book says
that the modern girl never kisses. Which
indicates either that the author is a mol
lycoddle or a donkey.
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

Discussing the woman suffrage cues
ton in Italy Mrs. K II. Armstrong, OF
Chicago. H.. who has Just returned from
tour OF Italy and is at the New VIII
lard, yesterday said:
The question OF womens rights IN
Italy has been very much confused by
a decision Of the courts. Recently the
court Of Ancona decided that by the
italian constitution both sexes were en-
titled 10 vote in Parliamentary elections.
Since that judgment the court of appeals
at Florence has decided in a case OF the
1 province Of Grosseto that the law i'm
plicitly excludes women from the right 70
vote for members Of Parliament, because
( it expressly excludes them from the
lesser privileges Of taking part in munic-
/ ipal elections. Thus. at present. women
may legally vote for deputy at Ancona.
while they may not vote for a deputy
at Grosseto.
However that may be. I And that the
women OF Europe. in every nation or
state. have more political rights than
the women OF America. who boast OF
theirs Vbeing the freest and most indie
pendent country in the world. This may
be true in most respects. but 1t does not
apply 70 the question Of women's rights"
From what little have seen OF Wash
ington, I thing It a beautiful city" said
o. E. Ward. Of Sac Paulo Brazil. who IS
stopping at the Arlington for few days.
L have been here only three days, and
am very much struck with the artistic
beauty OF your city.
Rio de Janeiro IS a very beautiful city,
but I believe washington surpasses il. I
think Washington the cleanest city in the
world
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05
Judging by the Papers.

From n. A. P.
Mrs Muggs-I ear yer fathers in
trouble with the police again. Was yer
mother much upset?
The Child-No; she said she supposed
every man had his trials.
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

I'm tired Of this old joke about a
woman sharpening a pencil with her
husbands razor"
There's nothing in It. No woman
sharpens a pencil. She gnaws it 10 a
point"
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05
Another Slam.

I suppose you made some discoveries
on your trip"
Yes; I found there really is town
called Oshkosh. I always thought that
was just a minstrel joke"
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

Edison has invented a machine that
will make pictures talk How awful it
would be if mother-in-law had one taken
that way.
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

A French scientist says that the sec
holds enough gold in solution 10 give
each inhabitant of the earth $24.O0OOO0,
Wen sell our share OF it right now very
reasonably
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

There is no time for quarrels in the
party says Vice President Sherman, but
they seem to be making time somehow.
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05
In High Life.

Il hear Fiji IS dead"
"Ah, my precious poodle. have moth
ing TO live for now
Yes, you have. You have your seven
bridge clubs"
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05
Good Measure.

IN verse I like a lengthy deal; like
the old-time bard; 1 Ike old poems Ike
"Lucile'-you read EN- by the yard
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05
ALITTLE NONSENSE.
ONE SYSTEM.

I'll do a good turn any day.
For any friend.
II there's a chance to make It pay
A dividend.
In casting bread on water wide,
I don't begin
Until I'm Etetty sure the tide
is coming in.
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

From the Boston Transcript
Pop. what is the hull before the
Storm
The honeymoon. my SON"
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

Dr.. Crippen says that pretty Ethel lie
Neve has been his comforter FOR three
years. After all, comforter is as good
a word as affinity
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05
AT THE HOTELS.

The rumors Of the possibility Of an
economic and military alliance between
Holland and Belgium are still occupying
space in some Of the most prominent
papers OF Europe" said Richard Z. VIII
Hanson. Of New York and Paris, who is
at the New Willard. Mr.. Williamson
! is interested in the import OF American
merchandise at the French capital and he
keeps a watchful eye on the worlds
events.
| 1t Is generally admitted" said Mr.
] Williamson. that both Holland and Bel
GUM are faced by a common danger
IN the expansion OF Germany. They are
doomed TO be swallowed in the Teutonic
Zollverein 70 begin with. and in the Teu-
tonic empire afterward unless they joia
forces 10 offer great resistance. Bel
GUM. it is pointed out by friends Of the
plan, Is ready 70 discuss the terms OF a
complete economic and military alliance
but Holland desires 70 lead up 70 II by
an agreement on certain points-namely,
the unihcation and reduction OF postal
and telegraphic services. the establish
ment OF common railway tariI. and
the enactment Of a law which Will be
valid in both countries The hours Of la
Dor and the monetary system will be
the same, and Industrial legislation
similar
And yet, with all these precautions, Il
will be difficult for these two countries
10 prevent being swallowed I'D by the
German empire. France and England
viii be powerIess, as both have war on
hand should they feel It their duty 10
cross the path OF the Emperor, who is
prepared TO fight at any time. which is
more than can be said Of either France
or England or Russia. Austria and Ger
many, not even counting Italy. are In
vincible, so far as their armies are con-
/ cerned, and before many years the COM
bined navies Of Germany and Austria
will be able TO cope with those Of Eng
land and France. Russia IS not yet re-
garded as a factor. that country having
been weakened by the japanese war TO
such an extent as 70 have dropped from
a FIRST class European power 10 a second
rate one"
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

Alaska has received its last mail until
next spring. Just think, not even their
creditors can get at them.
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

The New York man who committed
suicide so that his wife could find a
better husband made the task pretty
easy for her
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

We suppose now that some para
grapher viii write about Curtiss' flight
over Lake Erie as an Erieal victory.
How we hate puns.
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

Anyone would really think that Prof
Moore knew all about Il.
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

1t was inevitable that the headlines
should read: Lost 70 the Leaders" We
had 10 explain those two defeats some
how
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

Bryan said. Il put the man above the
dollar" The colonel rehabilitates the
epigram when he says. I am for men
and not for property"
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

The New York alderman who won
contest by eating eleven pounds OF
prime beefsteak must be a multi-mil-
lionaire.
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

Each Of the Osage Indians Is said to
be worth $4,000. Wonder what they have
20 give up in ''fees?"
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

An authority says that a man can
dress we'll on 5000 year. II the aver
age man had to wait for that sort or an
income, he'd go as naked as Adam
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

That Chicago woman who was robbed
Of $4,000 worth Of Jewels on board the
incoming Kaiser Wilhelm may console
herself with the thought that Mr.. Loeb's
men would have gotten them anyway.
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

The cannon that welcomed the colonel
TO the West was not Uncle Joe; Just
an ordinary gun
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

The member Of the Missouri legislature
who gave 200 watermelons 20 the con-
victs in the penitentiary can't be ac-
eused OF trying % secure votes.
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

Joe Sibley says his secretary did it.
Sounds like that echo Of the old days
blame 1t on Loeb.
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

Idaho is the latest to try the direct
primary and. needless TO say. It gave
entire satisfaction.
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

That young woman in New York who
shot herself because she had failed as
a writer ought 10 have chosen the other
alternative and moved TO Indiana.
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

R T. Moore. OF Albuquerque. n NJ,
who Is at the shoreham. in speaking OF
New Mexican politics. said last night that
/ progressive" Republicans appear 10 have
somewhat the best Of It.
"A majority Of the candidates are run
ming on platforms favoring the incor-
porauon OF the initiative and the refer
endum IN some FORM" said Mr.. Moore.
/ In the strong Republican county OF
1 Bernaliilo the delegates al the last con-
vention adopted by an almost unanimous
vote a platform declaring for the inita-
I tive and referendum in modified form
+ This expression is typical OF that given
4 by the progressive Republicans through
/ out the Territory. The standpat Repub-
/ leans. controlling in such counties SIS
/ san Miguel and COIfax. have declared for
safe and sane constitution. which
I shall contain none Of TIE newer ideas OF
/ government.
The Democrats have declared fatty for
/ the Oregon plan" continued Mr.. Moore.
of initiative and referendum, including
the recall and direct primary. and are
making their campaign on that issue A
few non-partisan delegates have been
named in doubtful counties. but the
nominations generally are along strict
/ party lines. II is generally conceded that
/ the Republicans VIII have a working ma
\ jority in the convention. II is probable
/ that their majority VIII be twenty or
more. The convention meets October 3.
/ Leaders OF both parties are hoping that
! the convention may complete its work in
/ thirty days This IS probable, as there IS
I a desire on all sides TO get the constitu-
ton before the people and secure its
adoption, so II may be presented 10 Con-
! gress for approval before March 4. 1911
! II this can be done. the Territory may
! achieve Statehood during the summer OF
] 1911. otherwise admission viii be delayed
/ until 1872"
The initiative and referendum Will be
the first and chief issue in the eonstitu-
tional convention. The Democrats viii
I be solidly for K, while there will be
| enough progressive Republicans 10 leave
! the issue in doubt. Other constitutional
! questions now being vigorously urged in
/ clude direct election OF Senators. con-
I stitutional Limitation OF taxation and IN
/ debtedness. State regulation Of railroads.
a railroad commission, a State labor com
mission. prohibition. and woman suffrage.
/ The latter probably Will not be seriously
/ considered. but prohibition viii be an
issue. The prohibitionists are urging
| their plank as part OF the constitution.
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

II cotton goes much higher. It will soon
break into the fashion column.
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

New York complains that there Is a
shortage Of chorus girls. It's the quality,
not the quantity. that is usually COM
planned Of
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

Someone has figured up that the col
onel mentioned himself thirty-four times
in his osawatomie speech. He also re-
ferred TO John Brown twice.
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

OF course, part Of the high cost Of
living may be due to automobiles. but
it should not be forgotten that politl-
clans also cost something to keep.
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

There is one thing that has been made
clear; that outside Of running II the
colonel doesn't want 70 interfere in any
way with the New York convention.
The Washington herald., 1910-09-05

Lawson made his reappearance with
that ''titian-haired" Standard OIL spy,
but we haven't heard from the golden
haired adventures" for some time now.