davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-09-06

The king of AMMAN had a wife
In fact, he had hundred,
And sometimes when he thought on life
He wondered If he'd blundered)
The king of AMMAN had wife,
Her name was Puttater,
Her face was like a carving knife,
The color of gaiter.
The king of AMMAN used to call
His wives to him and scan 'em
And sigh to think he'd cornered all
The talk there was in AMMAN.
Puttater, though--(we set this down
Without a thought of malice
Could make him shudder meath his
For she would rule the palace.
Talk of the king of Annam's might!
Puttater's moods were Eighty,
And were she either wrong or right,
This queen was Annamighty,
The king he trembled at her feet
And vowed no queen was greater;
He craftly said she was sweet
He called her sweet Puttateri"
But still she ruled as palace boss
And still the poor king trembed.
And while in truth he oft was cross
With cunning he dissembled
Until at last he planned a way
To stop the royal broiler;
He said: "Broiled, fried or consomme,
She'll be, or else We'll boil er!''
He called the stately palace chef
And wrote his list of dishes,
Because the chef was slightly deaf
And could not hear his wishes.
The chef obeyed the hungry king
He made sauce for Puttater,
Who always was a saucy thing,
And then the glad king ate 'er.
He ate his sweet Puttater, yes,
But now the cables tell us
The king exists in much distress
Puttater was so jealous
That even when she had been cooked,
In truth, had ceased from being,
Her temper still would not be brooked-
She went on disagreeing.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-09-06
He Won,

To while away the tedium of the
railway trip, the excursionists Clipped
in and formed pool.
The money was to go to the pas
senger who could prove his claim to
the most unique distinction.
One after another set up some claim
and enumerated the points in its favor,
but none seemed particularly to i'm
press the judges until a gentleman
arose and said:
Myself, my wife and eight children
are going to the country to spend a
month with relatives"
"Huh!' observed several of those
present. $50 are all the rest of u.s."
But" argues the claimant, here
! is the letter inviting us to come, and
even the most casual inspection of the
letter will prove that 1t was entirely
unsolicited"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-09-06
The Stylish Fisherman.

One of the guests at fashionable
summer resort in West Virginia got
himself up in his best fishing toys and
and started along a certain mountain
stream.
Meeting a native, he asked: Here.
my good man! Kindly tell me whether
1t would be worth my while to try
fishing in this vicinity"
The native regarded him scornfully.
The fishin' amt good" he finally said.
but I amt informed as to how you
values your time" -Lippincott's.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-09-06
Tit for Tat,

Miss Bings," stammered the young
man. II called on you last night did
not?"
What an odd question:! OF course,
you did"
''W-wwell, just wanted to say that
II proposed to you l was drunk"
ITO ease your mind, will say that
II accepted you was crazy-Judge.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-09-06
There Are
Reasons

Why SO many people
have ready at hand a
package Of
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-09-06
Much in a Name.

II hear you won big sum on the
last race"
Eyes; had hot tip on Politician
Politician? Why. was told not to
risk any money on him"
$50 was l. But / knew 1t was safe
to play him for place."
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-09-06
Explanation Offered.

This pie" said the young husband.
looking at his wife with a peculiar
light in his eye, this pumpkin pie is
not q bit like the ones mother used
to bake"
'Oh. It isn't?". che s7iffed. We'll
maybe you had better go"
NO. it isn't" he Interrupted. II
can cut this one"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-09-06
Mean Old Thina.

"Your wife," says one Of the men in
the background, seems greatly pre-
occupied tonight"
"Yes," answers the husband. Il
didn't want her to hear what I was
telling you. SO whispered to her that
her hat was not on straight"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-09-06
The Puzzled Ooo,

The Puzzled Dog.
II know that my ancestors brought the
f1eas
When they were out with Noah In the
ark,
But will you kindly tell me, II you please,
II it was they, or Noah. brought ths
bark?"
The Detroit times., 1910-01-15
MILLER CASE IS
CLOSED INCIDENT
Michigan Faculty Expells Football
Star and All Wonder Where He
Will Turn Up and When.

BY unanimous vote the faculty or
the engineering department u. the
University OF Michigan last night OK.
poiied JOY Miller, the former football
captain. who becomes. accordingly. In
elig,Ole To play with the team OF 1910
on TO attend any classes In the univer.
slty The verdict of the faculty was
as follows.
Whereas. II has been proven that
James JOY Miller. OF Detroit. Michi-
gan. student registered in this de-
partment has signed and delivered TO
the board in control OF athletics or
this university false statement as to
his college standing. and.
Whereas. He has written mislead-
ing statements As 10 his college stand
ing To the assistant dean OF this de-
partment. and.
Whereas. tie has wilfully deceived
the officers of this department and the
board IN control of athletics IN this
university. and.
Whereas. He has persistently neg.
lected TO respond TO summons Issued
by officers OF this department; and.
Whereas He has in knowing vio-
lation OF the rules and regards thereto
participated in athletic activities as a
student in This university. and has
thereby brought great criticism ana
discredit on this university and this
department. be IL therefore
Resolved. That the said James Joy
Miller be. and is hereby expelled from
this department and this university.
Interest now centers on Mtllers
present whereabouts, On Friday his
father investigated a report that JOY
Was wandering about Dundee In a be-
wildered condition. The man was
found. but he wasn't Joy, General
opiniOn has il that Miller Is In the
far west and will not communicate
with Detroit until the whole matter
has blown over. sympathy is strong
locally FOR the members of Miller =
family who. IL is generally believed.
have endeavored merely To shield JOY
by their attitude in the matter
In Ann Arbor the theory has been
recently expressed that Miller deilb-
erately put one over on the iaculty
as A method OF securing revenge for
the manner I'm which he was treated
three years ago when he was denied
+ his m" after distinguishing himself
in Michigans big game II rs argued
that Miller demonstrated his football
ability in 1903 and cared little what
happened thereafter The player
personal friends scout this idea ana
point TO Joys long and honest record
i'm athletics in proof Of their conten
ton. The fact that the student coun
Gil ut Ann Arbor voted for expulsion
demonstrated. however. that the feel
ing against the PLAYER is very str1e
at the school
The Detroit times., 1910-01-15

YPSILANTI. Mich. Jan. l5.-But
once in the history Of coed basket
ball teams has AN "Ypsi' state nor
NAL team been defeated. and then 10
rub IL in. il was the Mt. Pieasans
normal. coached by former "lpsi
girl, that turned the trick.
lpsilantis teams are coached by
Frances Cheever Burton. whose sue
cess as physical director and coach
mas attracted country-wide attention.
Mrs Burton doesn't conduct a train
ing table or insist on a diet, but sne
gives close attention TO her charges.
All team candidates must abstain from
pie. pudding. hot bread and biscuits
candy. tea. coffee. and give mp social
, engagements so dear TO the college
girl.
II matters rot how fine a player
she may be. the girl who will not
promise TO give up these pleasures
may not try for the team. And the
girl who shows tie least sign OF ex'
haLstion after a practice period is NOT
permitted TO continue
The Detroit times., 1910-01-15

The training is calculated TO give
the girls endurance and speed Each
candidate presents different prob
lem Speaking OF training the girls,
Mrs Burton said:
For each girl do what seems best
10 get her into perfect condition.
Starting with the fall term We walk
from two TO seven miles across coun-
try three or four times a week. The
other two week days We devote 10 the
gymnasium each girl doing work
suited TO her needs. When one Of our
outdoor days IL stormy We have In
door basketball practice. This lasts
I for l. weeks. when those who are lett
are good subjects for fast team.
After the holid9~s there are two
practice games week and the girls
4 keep up their individual exercises
One factor not overlooked is the bath
ing At least twice a week the girls
take hot baths and the cold salt water
sponge or shower. as best suits the
individual This helps gain perfect
physical condition as much as exer-
cising
The Detroit times., 1910-01-15
SAYS GOTCH TO ZBYsCZKO.
60 and Get Reputation: Then
VIII WrestIe With You"

MINNEAPOLIS. Jan. 1i.-Champioa
Frank GOtch, here with the Jeffres
troupe. when asked regarding a possi-
hility OF championship match with
Zybsczko. said:
Il am ready to wrestle him 10 a
finish. but it is up TO him To beat sore
more topnotchers before will take
hinp ION. Let the Pole throw such men
as Ynsiif Mahmout Henry Ordemsn.
Dr. Roller and Jess Westergard be.
fore demanding chance at my title. ,
The Detroit times., 1910-01-15
FRANKLIN-ST. FIVE
COURTS AN INSPECTION
Would Like People To Appreciate
That They're Not SO Rough As
Some Folks Assert.

The Franklin-st Settlement basket
bali team has been earnestly practic-
ing for its game with the Solvays Sat
urday ia the Delray gymnasium Rear
izing that they have a fast team 70
contend with. the Franklins are never
theless confident OF tucking this one
away, as they are more evenly
matched than was the case last Sat
urday. when they met the Burroughs
team. The Franklin boys maintain
that people led TO believe by earlier
reports that the Franklin-st. Settle
ment shelters rough team. would
quickly dispense with that idea after
witnessing a game between them and
a team OF their own weight. The
Frankllns and Riyersides have always
been forced to fight against handicaps,
owing 10 the location OF their gymnas-
iums In the Associated aud lndepeu-
dent leagues. in which these teams
played The slogan OF their opponents
often was Get the Riyersides aud
Franklins" In this undertaking they
found a hard task, as there has never
been a lack uf sand and gameness In
either aggregation.
Owing TO Physical Director Walker
efforts strict discipline rules In The
Franklin gymnasium. and at no time
Is row dyism or mlstreatment of yisi.
ing teams or spectators tolerated.
Ladies attending games in the Franz
lin gymnasium are not made TO feel
uncomfortable by the OdOr OF tobacco
smoke. and hats of is always the rule
for gentlemen
Owing 10 injuries received in the
Burroughs game last Saturday even
ing. Capt. Fitzgerald and Forward
Goodreau will be unable To take part
in the Solvay game. and the team
will be picked from the following: l.
and r. Merker. G. Groves. r. Cook. L.
Howe. X. Brown aud f.. Rutter.
The Detroit times., 1910-01-15
LANGFORD TO CALIFORNIA.
Has Three Bouts Promised There
With Second.Rate Heavies.

Having become disgusted al the
manner i'm which all the prominent
heavyweights and middleweights have
refused 10 fight him. Sam Langford
the Negro cyclone OF Boston, has de
cided TO 90 To California, where he has
been guaranteed three fights.
His first will be with Jim Flynn. the
heavyweight OF Pueblo Colo. who has
fought all the big fellows. They will
meet for ten rounds before the Pacific
Athletic club of Los Angeles, Feb. 8
After that Langford will sign up with
Jack Burns and "Gunboat Smith, the
California heavyweights.
The Detroit times., 1910-01-15
DONOVAN HAS ABOUT
ALL HIS REDSOX SIGNED
Boston Still cherishes the Delusion
That Detroit Coveted Bill carri-
uan Once

\ BOSTON, Jan. 14.-Publlshed state
ments that "Bill" Carrigan, the hard
hitting catcher of the Boston Redsox.
would play with Detroit next season
are settled today by the fact that Car.
rigan signed contract. which is in
1he hands Of President Taylor. OF the
Boston Americans.
Jake Stahl. the Redsox first base
man, Is practically the only player
who has not signed his contract. and
"a is expected daily.
The Detroit times., 1910-01-15
What Mind Of (dt(hsr5
Did They Have Thsn?

Harry Stovey. the big fellow
who used To play In the Athlei-
lcs' left meadow In the days
when Chris Won der Ahe's
Browns were winning champion.
ships. Is the owner uf the
worlds base stealing record. In
1888 he pilfered 90 pillows
Billy Hamilton. the PhuIies
old feet center fielder. stole ll5
In 1891 and l02 In 1890. and
BIZ I.angt. OF Chicago. worked
In 100 In 1896. They are the
only big leaguers ever attain
ing The century.
The Detroit times., 1910-01-15
Baseball Teams To Dance

The Michigan Central baseball club
Will give a grand ball at Fritz Reuters
uHari-Gari hail. Thirty-fifth-sL and
Alichigan.aNe.. Saturday evening. Jan.
10 A cordial invitation is exte nded
20 all baseball managers and players.
The Detroit times., 1910-01-15
Excellent Strokes for Position,
Through Kiss and Draw.

Diagram Cue ball - below. SIS
left, object ball hg left. stroke -
III excess of medium. Cue ball cush-
ions 1T \. B. &. caroming ON ball 2.
Object ball cushions at ID. r. resting
at T.
Diagram Kiss cafOm Cue ball
is above. object bail 3l-32 right:
stroke IA less than slow Carom ball
cushions az u where II meets cue
ball and effects carom
Diagram 3.-Cue ball IA below. rs
left. object ball rs left: stroke ordi.
nary Cge ball cushions AT A. effect
Ing carom on bali ?. which rests at r.
Object ball cushions at ID. r. r. g.
stopping III e.
The Detroit times., 1910-01-15
BOWLING CONGRESS PRIZE
LIST A STEADY GROWTH

An indication OF the growth
OF the American Bowling Con
gress. is in the increase in the
amount OF money offered every
year for competition. The prizes
have covered the following
The Detroit times., 1910-01-15
Time viii Tell.

Wonder whether Thomas Lynch can
hold his own with Garry Hermann
and Ban Johnson at the brass-rail ses-
sions OF the national commission {?
Heydler couldn't and lost his job.
The Detroit times., 1910-01-15

Busines--it -itL~- Printing. No fuss and
no feathers The main. neat Kind that
looks right Times PrIating Co.. Is
John R.-st. Phone 1855.
The Detroit times., 1910-01-15

BusInes--IIke printtag. No fuss and
mo- feathers. The plain. neat kind that
looks night. Times Printing Co., IS
John R-sL Phone itSs.
The Detroit times., 1910-01-15

HEART Wifh tn.
70 Sporting
HEART Editor.

The extremes to which the real de-
votse OF baseball carries his enthusi-
The Detroit times., 1910-01-15

". 4. g.. Ga Its own haii aud Win in-
tctcOlleglatc rules governing. had 10
play FOR It's life 10 beat the Spaldings.
OF Detroit. 20 TO IS. The game was
troiter TO register from free throws.
The Detroit times., 1910-01-15

Postal the state fair president. IL the
Michigan billiard champion by virtue
az his defeat Of Allison. Last night =
play saw Postal the winner 2oo 10
100
The Detroit times., 1910-01-15

Supporters OF Jim Jenfries In his
coming engagement might make ribald
remarks IL they knew that Jack John
son insists on having the wheels OF
his autos done invariably in buff
The Detroit times., 1910-01-15

OF course. we're glad 10 see you. Mr..
Zbyszko. but we'd far prefer TO see
you wrestling someone you're not
bIinging along with you. How would
our Michigan giant. Mr.. Fenby, suit
you, for instance?
The Detroit times., 1910-01-15

Not content with licking our Tiges
over in Cuba, the gentlemen OF color
ere going to rub il in by parading our
fair land next summer. Well. Wen
just sic the II. A. c. on en-
The Detroit times., 1910-01-15

And now the sporting world can
only hold it's breath. pending the news
from "the most exciting meetingwhic5
the Western Golf association has ever
had "
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1910-08-04
ESTATE or RosAMoSD GALLAGHER.

STATE OF VERMONT, The Honorable
District of Washington, IS Probate Court for
the District aforesaid To the heirs anu all
persons interested Ia the estate Of Rosamond
Gallagher, late Of City ~ Barre in said Dis
trict. deceased, Greeting:
Whereas, application hath been made 20 this
Court in writing BY the administrator praying
for license and authority 70 sell all of reAi es-
tate of said deceased to wit, double. tenement
house, being No. -, Summer ST.. representing
10 said Court that 1t would be beneficial to
the heirs and all persons nteTes ted ID the estate
Of said deceased, 70 sell said real estate and
convert the same into money
And bringing into CourE the consent and APP
probation In writing, OF all the heirs to said
estate residing IN his State. ana setting forth
the situation Of the real estate.
Whereupou, the said Court appointed and
assigned the 18Th day Of august 1910. at the Pro-
bate Office 10 Montpelier ia said District, to
tilion. and ordered public notice thereof to be
given 70 all persons interested therein. by pub
fishing said order, together with the time and
place OF hearing, three weeks successfully in
the Barre Daily Times. newspaper which cir
eulates in the nelghhorhood 81 thosa persons
interested ia said estate. al of which publiea-
tions shall be previous - the day assigned for
hearing,
Therefore, yon are hereby notified to appear
before said Court htthe time and place as.
signed. then ana there IN said Court to make
your objections 70 the granting Of such IL
censs, il you see cause.
Given under my hand az Montpelier, in said
District, this 27th day 81 July 1910.
FRANK j, MARTIN, Judge.
july 2s-aug All
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1910-08-04
Making Things Worse.

"That excuse only increases the awk-
wardness Of the case said Mayor Gay
nor Of political taseo. "That excuse
reminds me Of young DR.. Start.
Or Start, short time after he be.
gan to practice, wa. summoned to at
end banker suffering from typhoid.
d. Start pulled the banker through.
Then, in taking leave for good, he con.
graduated his patient and himself, and
said he would Just call once more IN
the course Of the week TO make sure
that no complications had set in.
HE called FIVE days later. The bank
er's brother met him at the door with
a very long face.
Poor George is dead he said sol.
emily.
Or. Start turned pale, How am I
TO get out Of thisg' he thought. ! must
exonerate myself somehow What neg
ligence have | shownl' Then he said;--
We'll, on the whole, I'm not sur
prised. This isn't the first fatal case
Of typhoid eonyaleseenee, nor viii it be
the last A eliot, it is clear formed
suddenly at the base Of your brothers
medulla, the diastole was disordered and
the usual health failure ensued'
Or. Start ratified On for several min
utes in that strain, but at the end Of
long and involved sentence, when he
paused to take breath, the dead mans
brother said solemnlyi
No, DIR. Start, Won are wrong. That
isn't what killed George. He went bath
ing at Coney is nd and was carried out
BY the tide. Louisville Times.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1910-08-04
RECEIVERS REPORT.
Statement Of Affairs Of New England
Investment Company.

Statement Of Affairs of New England
Investment Company.
Providence, r. l., Aug, Am average
loss Of $4,000 on each o. the seven cor.
poutions which it controls rs shown
by the report Of the receivers Of the
New England Investment company, the
main office Of which Is il Manchester,
New Hampshire. Tie receivers state
that between January, 1908, and April
49, 1909 the company paid out in diyi.
dends s69,74o, which the receivers de-
clare did not come from the earnings
but from the subscriptions for stocks.
The largest loss to the company WIS
from Le Reveil company. which pub.
lished French daily papers in Lower,
MISS, and Manchester, N. H., and
weekly in Lawrence, Mass. The net
loss to the Investment company from
this connection was $4,000. Other large
losses were, Iaconia Coal and Ice com.
pany, $4,000; Dunstable Granite com
pany, $4,000; Manchester Coal and lee
company, $4,000 and the Belknap Mills,
S2l 900.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1910-08-04
The Better Sort.

Senator shiyely, apropos Of patriot
ism aud the Fourth, told at South
Bend banquet a war story.
"a private" he said, got very home
sick on campaign and went to head
quarters for furlough.
What do you want furlough for 4
the colonel asked.
What do ! want a furlough forp the
private answered bitterly Why, colo
mel, / amt seen my wife for over three
monthsr
sob, that's nothing said the colo
mel. I haven't seen my wife for more
than three years
Well said the soldier, that may
be. colonel, but me and my wife amt
that kind. Washington Star.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1910-08-04
Some Newly Listed Properties with
the D. A. Perry Real Estate Agency

No. l27. 40 acres One Of the best farms IN
New England. Only three -fOurths mile from
the best market IN the state and city Of 1900
inhabitants. Land Lies well and Il the hest Of
soil AilInachine moving. Fine fences. Plenty
Of fruit. nifty cherry trees. Good sugar orr
chard. fann will cut 100 tons hay and ensiage
and other crops. VIII keep fifty COWS and
team. Zig basement barn. eighty feet long.
clapboafded and painted; horse barn. granary
and ehicken-h0use. Good nine-room modern
house--a dandy. Running water az house and
harms. several fine springs Of water on this
farm II Is beauty and one Of the best-paying
farms in the state aht home market cannot
be beaten Buildings an ia hrst-elass cond-
ton. Price $1,000. Personal properly inciud-
ing twenty nice COWS, team and crops can be
purchased II desired. lei as show you this
property, just listed. iOstf
No. las nifty acres: Just listed Only one
and one bali miles 70 station and six miles 20
bafre city Land Is nicely divided lays fine;
an machine moving, Apple and sugar orchards;
plenty ~ small fruit. Good set Of buildings.
Good neghbnrhood. Running water. All crops;
four aerts u oats two and one half acres Of
potatoes; three acres Of cora; twenty tons Of
hay. Six good COWS two calves five hogs nne
horse poultry all farming tools and machin-
cry. l0l The very low price II 5000. Liberal
terms You viii not ind rs equal for the
money asked. i0stf
Ne Igg. COG acres. How's thisi Nicely d.
vided land, level, machine moving Good fruit
orchard, lots Of soft-wo0d timber Farm win
keep 81 cows and team. Three large barns, clap
boarded ana patnttu, NflN basement unHHf Alis
Two big silns. Running water at house and
barn Good nine-room house, painted white
Twenty COWS; fiyc head young stock; a good
team 81 hoIres and big lot of farm machinery
aud tonis. Located one mile from school. six
miles from station, on main road Milk taken
at door Rural free delivery. Telephone The
buildings are insured for 5000. Price for farm
stock and tools, only 5000. i0stf
No is0 For saie--A good stock Of general
merchandise and business Of 81 900 per year Ia
good railroad town. stock will run from 1910
to saHe but owner viii reduce to s6fka If de-
sired aud viii discount ten per cent from in
voice price This is fue stock and business
Owner has made lots of money here hut has 10
sell OIL account of poor health. f0stf
No 49, S20)o general stock and 8 fine bus.
mess. Rent only ss0 per month. Only a few
miles from harre city owner has other bus
iness and win give you good bargain. or he
might exchange for other property. Let us
show you this stock. I0tf
No. 49,. For sale--Paol room IN good railroad
town owner has other business. Rent low
live fellow can make good money here. Owner
might exchange for horse and buggy. lostf
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1910-08-04
The Language Of Aquatics.

A French woman, proud Of ner limited
knowledge Of English, and an American
woman, proud OF her limited knowledge
OF French, were introduced at an up
town evening ceremony. The French
woman insisted on expressing herself in
bad English and the American would
talk nothing but bad French.
When the guests began to depart they
were still at it At last they arose
"a 70. Here il s.oir watcry farewell
Reservoir" said the fair American.
Tanks. responded her new friend
Times.