Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1910-12-28

mustn't drink
Heavens! Are these people as inhu~'
man as all that?'
Worse than that. 1t might be IA
tai if you We're ever seen in the hotel
bar. And. to begin with, you must
refuse all invitations of any sort.
whether to dances, parties. church So
cables or even Sunday dinners
''Why Sunday dinners?''
Because Sundays the only day
you'll be invited. Dinner on weekdays
is from y to 1890, and it's strictly a
business matter. no time for guests.
But you needn't fret They won't ask
you till they've sized you up. pretty
carefully"
OH
'Moreoyer. you must be very par
tfcular about your dress. It must be
absolutely faultless. but very quiet.
Clothing sober, dark grays and blacks
and plain. but the very last word as
to cut and fit. And everything must
be in keeping, the very best of shirts.
collars. ties, hats. socks shoes. under.
wear Kellogg caught Duncan's
look and laughed. Your laundress
will report on everything, you know.
so you must he impeccable."
'1'll be even that, whateve it isl
"Be very particular about having
your shoes polished, shave daily and
manicure yourself religiously, but don't
let 'em catch you at it,
"Would they raid me if they did?''
And then. my son, you must work.
Kellogg paused to let his lesson sink
! In. After a time Duncan observed
plaintively, II knew there was catch
in it somewhere What kind Of work p
| 1T doesn't make any difference, SO
! long as you get and hold some job in
the town.
swell. that let's me out You'll have
to sic some other poor devil on this
glittering proposition Of yours.
couldn't hold a job in
wait! I'll tell you how to do it in
just a minute"
II don't mind listening, but
| you'll cinch the whole business by
| going to church without break,
Don't ever faii-morning and evening
every Sunday. Don't forget that
"Why?"
"It's the most important thing of
ALL
| "Does going to church make such a
hit with the young female Jasper-the
| Jasperette. as it were?"
"It'1 make you more solid than any
thing else With her pepper and nom
mer. and that's very necessary when
you're a candidate for their ducats as
we'll as their daughter. You must
work and you must go to church.
"That can't be all. Surely you car
think of something else"
"Those are the cardinal rules
church and work until you've landed
your heiress. After that you can move
back to civilization. Now, as soon as
you strike your town you want tc
make arrangements for board and
lodging in some old woman's house
preferably an old maid. You'll be sure
to find at least half a dozen of ZEN
willing to take boarders. but you want
to be equally sure to pick out the
one that talks the most so that shell
tell the neighbors all about you. DOM
worry about that, though. They al
talk. When you've moved in STOCK
up your room with about twenty o.
the driest looking books in the world
Lawbooks look most imposing. Fix III
table with lots of stationery-pens
and pencils, red and black ink. and al
that sort of thing. Make the room lool
as if you We're the most sincere stu
dent ever. And by no means neglec
to have a well worn Bible prominently
in evidence. You can buy one secont
hand at some bookstore before YOU
start OUT =:
I I'D have to, of course. thank 70,
for the fattery. Proceed with the pro
gram of the gay. mad life must lead
I'm going to have swell time; that
perfectly plain -
las soon as you're shaken down II
your room make the. rounds Of tn
stores and ask for work. Try to &c
into the dry goods emporium if yo1
+ can. The girls all shop there. Butsany
thing will do. except a grocery or {
. hardware store and places like: that
s You mustn't consider any employment