The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-02
BIC JOAK!
At First the Boys ThOrt It Was on
Bill Hepburn, but Later Bill
Thort Il Was on Them---It Was
RidiCkIus in the Extreme So
PaTtiCkIeTs Give Below

There was a pecooliar thing happened
to Bill Hepburn our artistick blacksmith,
last Saturday, which has been the talk
OF the town ever sinst and has resulted
in painful injuries 10 several OF our most
respected citizens. At first the Joke was
thort 10 be on Bill, but later on It seems
as if the joke was on some OF EN- as
thort il was on Bill
True to his past custom, Bill left
Bingville for the Co, seat bright and
earn last Saturday morning where he
purchased Jug Of rum and after taking
a couple OF swigs from same Bill he
started home, much earlier than usual,
because il wasn't yet noon when he
drove into Bingville, singing al the top
of his voice and hitched his horse in
front Of Hen Weathersby's store. Then
he went inside and set down by the
stove to engage in ribald conversation
with them as was present Bill wasn't
what YOU might call stewed or picked
but he had Jest enough in to be sociable
and laxative BY and by he got drowsy
and presently dropped of sound to sleep
in a chair BY the stove.
As a rule Bill don't wear any glasses
except when he reads or when he gets
full. That's a peculiar thing about Bill
whenever he gets drunk he allus puts
on his glasses and keeps EN- on until
he gets sober again, less they get tore
! of in some scrimmage or other. Some
4 has said that Bill can't see very well
when he is under the inflooence Of lick
er and that he wears the glasses to help
| him see better. Be that as il may. Bill,
as he set there sound asleep by the
stove in Hens store had on his glasses.
Hank Dewberry was present and as
Hank set there watching Bill and lis
tening to him snore, Hank, he thort
I'D a awful good joke to play on Bill
so he got up and very keerfully took
of Bills glasses from his nose, then he
got some SCOT outen the stove and he
BACKED the glasses all up and put them
back on Bill again without Bill eveI
waking up,
Hank then went and got Hen Wealth
ersby's lantern and lit IT, then he walked
no to Bill and slapped him on tht
shoulder. Bill, he walked up and want
ed to know where he was at HAM
saws. why, Bill, you are in Her
| Weathersby's store and Hen IS going L
close Up, being as it's nearly bed tint
and darker outside than mess of blacl
cats"
Bill said he didn't know it was so lat
and that he must put away his hors
and 90 home and get some supper ant
then go TO bed. Hank asks Bill If h
has got any lantern and Bill says h
hasn't and Hank says, Here is Ian
tern" and he hands Bill Hen Weathers
bv's lantern which Bill takes an
thanks him for and leaves the store.
: EYerybuddy in the store follers hir
, TO the door and wishes him good nigh
Then Bill with the lantern in one han
takes the horse by the bride in tothe
and leads it down Main Street to hi
stable in the rear OF his blacksmith shol
where he unhitches the horse and put
il away. Then Bill picks up the lanter
, and starts on home.
! 1t was a ridicklus spectacle to see Bi
D walking along the street with lighte
lantern at one o'clock in the Afternoon
[ when it was broad daylight, but bein
s as Bills glasses was BACKED over wit
: SCOT, he thought it was pitch dark unit
= he arrove at his own door and was fun
!. bling around, trying to find the kno
e when his wife opened the door and see
o him standing there with his glass
BACKED and the lantern N his hand. 81