Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-12-11
CHAMP CLARK'S MULES
DRAG CANNON IN CHAINS
Miss Democracy Shoes Governors OF
the Band Wagon.
PRESIDENT DOESN'T ESCAPE
As "Mikado" He Sentences Cannon
to Hear Debate on Rules-Dis-
tinguished List of Guests.

To one of the most distinguished COM
pany of guests that ever graced its hos
pitahle board the Gridiron Club gave a
dinner last night with accompanying
features OF entertainment calculated To
surprise and delight. 1t was the nrst
dinner of the season and in every way
was up to the standard Of achievement
set by former efforts Of this famous or
ganization to pay honor to its guests.
The President of the United States. the
Vice President, the Speaker of the
House. members Of the cabinet. senator's
and representatives, officers Of the army
and navy. high officials of the govern
ment and men prominent in financial,
professional and political affairs Of many
states sat down to dine with the club
and be entertained by the program pro-
vided for their amusement
Six Governors Present.
The presence Of the governors Of six
states of the Union added to the cosmo-
politan character Of the gathering.
Naturally. the recent elections with
their overturn and surprises. furnished
rich material for comment caustic and
humorous, after the fashion Of the club
IN dealing with such SUBJECTS and the
grill was turned toyously for the gentle
roasting of the victims OF the elections.
But in the turning care was taken
never to let the hapless wight remain
long enough over the Goals to bo
biistered. SO they came OF with but
slight warming reminder that they were
still the subjects of the ahrectionate
interest Of the club.
The great banquet hall Of the New
Willard. where the dinner was given.
profusion Of floral decorations. when
the 250-odd diners filed in from the
reception room. after the dinner bell
had Changed its welcome. Certain time
as standing by the chairs in the dark
ened hall while the Gridiron Quartet
sang song Of welcome. followed by
the flashing OF the great electric grid
and graceful speech Of welcome BY
Scott C. Bone, president Of tho GridiTon
Club
Clubs Welcoming Song.
This time the welcoming song was .
rattling ditty, to the air Of "Old Gray
the opening verse declaring
that
You're invited to our dinner,
Be you saint or mortal sinner,
And we bid you welcome, all:
Far from things that make you weary.
Danish worry from this hall:
Let us eat, drink and be merry,
Drain the cocktail to the cherry,
And we'll sing song and have q Joke
or two;
For good fellowship's the flavor
That gives life a pleasant SAVIOR,
And we offer 1t to you.
At a Gridiron dinner things begin to
tn, fho aorIy Sfo nf fhA VAvra-
Between a sup and bite the
guest has to keep q sharp lookout that
he doesn't miss anything. The club. hav-
ing received intimation that Champ Clark.
Speaker Of the next House OF
is likely to balk on his
promise to drive down Pennsylvania ave-
nue. behind team of mules. resolved to
show how the thing ought to be done.
and perhaps stimulate the wavering Mr..
Clark into renewed determination.
Captives at His Wheel.
A commotion in the ante-room. with
loud cracking Of whips. shouts and bray
ing Of mules, attracted attention to one
Of the entrances, and there, coming along
the aisle, were two veritable mules draw
ing a chariot. Those mules were fear
fully and wonderfully made. They could
wag their ears, blink their eyes. snort
and cavort and. Of course, could kick.
In the chariot was make-believe
Champ Clark OF Pike county. mind you.
He wore overaIls, hickory shirt. a wide
hat and encouraged his beastfes with
cries of "Giddap, Fit; G'long. Bob"
But, oh. direfuI sight! Following tho
chariot. in clanking chains. were three
forlorn figures. easily recognizable As
Cannon, Dalzell and Payne. Cannon.
with head bludgeoned though unbowed.
hurled taunts at the victorious ngure III
the chariot. Dictator! Czar! he crieo.
Others in the attendant group were rec.
,gnized as Ollie James. Oscar Underwood
and Asher Hinds.
Bring forth the slaves. cried Champ
-lark in scornful tones, unchain them.
This is the greatest occasion since Anay
Jackson climbed over the cotton oaIes
nto the White House.
Cannon demanded to know what the
,ew Speaker intended to do with him.
Craftsmanship for Cannon.
"Make YOU chairman Of the COMMITTEES
m disposition of useless papers: that's
where your tariff bill belongs" (One
.ouldn.t help thinking that he wouldn't
ave Clark's disposition for anything In
he world, such gloatingness)
..What you going to do with u.s.!
vhimpered Dalzell and Payne.
why. John. I'm almost ashamed to tell
on grinned Clark. "Ollie James. that
,rawny bull of Bashan. is going to walk
,yer you fellows every day. What you
rot there. Asher?"
"A bundle of House precedents.'' meek
v replied Hinds.
well. look through EN-" snorted
lark. land see If you can find where
! House minority ever got anything but
| kick in the stats.
At this point an alteration broke out
etween Ollie James and Oscar Under
yood over Bryan. and the mules taking
right, bolted out of the hall. followed
" the whole party.
The quartet and chorus then sang .
ong in Champ Clark's honor. to the air
{ "Any Little Girl and the chorus ran
hus:
my little vote that's democratic vote
Is the right little vote for me;
really do not care what brand 1t may
bear
II It's only cast for me.
Henry and Bnrleson.
Thev all look alike to me;
INV little vote that's a democratic vOeo
is the right little vote for me-"
very amusing feature OF the svsnin8