The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-04-14
BY gibson GARDNER.
Copyright, 1910, Newspaper En-


the OFFICE mas caDleu me LUZ az
mosphere"--the atmosphere" of
Col. Roosevelt's surroundings and
activities. "by letter." daily"
So that's why. Tomorrow there
will be more atmosphere. At 6 a.
m. 1.-THE colonel" has arranged a
breakfast" across the river. OF
course, a correspondent must tag
along to see that the colonel does
not fall off donkey or otherwise
make news. No matter what the
nature of the casualty, the CORE
spondent must be on the job. At
6 a. m. tomorrow. Our breakfast
at s.
So at midnight we will set
down a few notes on the "atmos-
phere" of today's doings.
You remember how the kitchen
stove looks on ironing day? Well,
such was the atmosphere! 1t was
like that trembling, heated air
over the stove, only it was trem-
bling over the flat, heated desert
sand. Off to the left as we start
ed, from the point where we piled
out of the two launches and clam
bered aboard the camels and dom
keys, you could see blue water
with reflected trees and cool
shrubbery-only there was no
water. 1t was mirage.
The atmosphere was hundred
and something in the shade, and
there was no shade-you can
guess what it was in the sun.
Into that atmosphere we
plunged. 1--WE" were Col. Roose-
welt Ca distinguished gentleman
from America, Mrs. Roosevelt,
Kermit Roosevelt, Miss Roosevelt,
young Prince Auersperg of Aus
tria (attentive to Miss Roosevelt)
our hostess, Mrs. Asser (wife of
Acting Gov. Cen. Assert, Slatin
Pashaw, a lot of British army Of
ficers in khaki, lot of pictur-
esque Bedouins of the desert,
some camels, some horses, some
donkeys, some donkey boys, some
newspaper correspondents. some
population (black), and yellow
dog.
So that is settled. We can now
turn to Col. Roosevelt and the
camel. OF course the colonel rode
a camel. cit was his first.) So
did Mrs. and Miss and Kermit
Roosevelt ride camels.
Did you ever see an ex-president
mount a camel? Oh, for the NOV
ing picture apparatus and some
uninvented monograph that would
produce the sounds!
When a camel is asked to get
down to it's knees, or to get up
from its knees, the way it carries
on would raise up a Society for
the Prevention Of Cruelty to Ami
mails in a Siberian exile station.
And Roosevelt's camel made car
rying-on a speciality. The unlove-
ly beast twisted round it's long,
ungainly neck, opened out its flop
by lower lip and began. Gurgle,
roar, growl! Bray, whine, sput-
ter! Groan, grunt, snort and
gnash! Its teeth ground and
crunched. There was no form of
phonetic hideousness that the
animal did not emit. From its lips
came pink bubbles. Its eyes roll
ed, and to the casual and uniniti-
ated onlooker it seemed to give
every evidence of violent insanity
and imminent dissolution.
What's the matter, old boy?"
inquired the ex-president. Never
heard sounds like that, not even in
East Africa!"
"The horrid beast" said Mrs.
Roosevelt, whose camel was doing
likewise. 81 really think per-
haps I'd better have a donkey"
But they didn't.
And the joke of it all was that
these camels were really wonder
fully well behaved. 1t is simply
that eamels do that. If they didn't
they wouldn't be camels. You see,
have been out here a long time
(10 days), and have learned about
eamels and things.
So then the creature unhinged
himself. The Arab said, ''Hooshl"
ian Arab says that when it is
"get down." "get up" or "stop'')
and our distinguished ex-presidentI
lurched forward. For a moment
it looked as IL the mighty hunter
had escaped the charging rhinoI
and the angry elephant, only to-
break his neck over the front end
of foolish camel. But he gripped
the pummel and chung for. dear
life. Then the forelegs were un-
limbered, and the rider was cata-
pulled in the opposite direction.
Again it seemed as If Scylla had
been evaded only to be wrecked
over the Charybdls of the camel's
tail. 'Wooshl" roared the Arab.
'sxys!" swore the dromedary.
Then, hippity-hop, a whirl, and a
Iurch, and the world got flat
again, and an expert faunal nat
uralist smiled into the cameras
and said, Delightful.
On! oni Over the boundless
(more or less) wastes! Pattering
donlxeys. lolloping dromedaries,
galIoping Arab steeds: Blue wells
and light pongee fluttering and
cIinging in the stiff north breeze!
"Arrk!" shout the donkey boys.
"Whoal" call the horsemen. And
the air is filled with the calls and
clatter OF the native polyglot.
1t was my lot to draw a col