Arizona republican., 1910-10-17
WHEN THE BOOKEEPER
 BECAME 4 CHAUFFEUR
Everything Was Lovely Until He
 Forgot to Crank His Machine.

Business was dull-Very dull. con sequently the boss was worried. He was worried about his automobile and his bOOkkeeper There was a big bill at the garage and the book keeper would want his salary on pay day.
 The boss slumped down in his swivel chair and gave himself up to fit of deepest dejection. He look ed across at the Doolkkeeper, who was trying to be industrious, despite the fact that there wasn't a blessed thing for him to do. This book keeper had read in some magazine that no bOokkeeper should ever let his employer see him idle. But it wouldn't have made any difference to the boss if the bOOkkeeper had been playing solitaire. Too well he knew that business wasn't what it had been a day or two ago and what he wanted it to be next week.
 Then the boss looked out of the window at his car Next he gazed westward, where a crew of workmen were busily engaged in cementinG back into place the arm that white robed girl above the Capitol building lost in one of last summers wind storms All at once a brilliant idea struck him.
 Say, kid" he said to the book keeper. how'd you like to make a little bunch of money, in addition to your salary"
 How'd I like to have an annual pass to the Ellls' theater?" returned the young man of figures. Point out the way"
 There's my car and out there is the capitol. At the capitol you will find many a plutocratic delegate and many a would-be plutocratic sight seer just yeaming to ride back to town in an automobile and pay four bits for it. You're no good to me here, so you just take the machine the rest of the day and see what you can pick up. Half of it is yours. I'd take the job myself but it might hurt my social standing. And if you knock down on me-don't let me know it."
 So the bookkeeper stuck his pen into the rack, showed the books into the drawer and saIlied forth to bag the elusive four-bit piece. He jump ed into the seat, the boss cranked up and he sped majestically, if rather nervously, along West Washington street. What he knew about the running of autos had been gained from watching the boss one day when they were out seeing a customer but he was a young man with unlimited confidence in himself
 In front of the capitol building he brought his car to a standstill. He didn't have to wait more than five minutes before two women and three little girls came out of the lobby.
 Car to the city" respectfully sug- gested the bookkeeper- chauffeur.
 How much do. you charge?" asked the elder of the two women.
 Fifty cents apiece, but I'll take your entire party for $1.5O." He thought he would cinch the job by making a sweeping reduction in prices"
 But he had to reduce still further before he made a deal. He came down to dollar.
 Having carefully slowed his pas sengers in the tonneau, he slid into the seat and turned on the juice. There was nothing doing. Making sure that the spark plug was in place, he tried again. That machine continued as dead as Pharaoh's door nail.
 Noticing his predicament, other chauffeurs gathered around. He shamefully admitted that his knowl-
 
 embracing. The chauffeurs took off the hood crawled underneath the en- zine and found nothing wrong. They were perplexed but were reluctant to admit it.
 Ten minutes passed. The book keepers fares were becoming i'm patient.
 T don't believe there's anything wrong with this machine" declared one of the chauffeurs. Look out I'm going to crank her"
 A peculiar expression came over the bookkeeper's face but it was ob- served by no one except the news paper man who leaned against one of the stone columns, trying to keep his own face straight. He had not iced that the bookkeeper had for gotten to crank up.
 One turn of the professional chauf- feurs arm and the engine cOughed. Another and it started
 Much obliged to you. boys" called back the amateur driver as he head ed out of the capitol grounds.
 What the was the matter with that car?" asked one of the chauffeurs.
 Automobiles are just like women and they get some peculiar fits on them?" sagely answered q bystander