davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30
IN A BAD FIX

From Lippincotts
 A western physician received the fol- lowing from brother physician:
 Dear Dock: I have a pashunt whose physical sines showes that the windpipe has ulcerated off and his lungs have dropped into his stumick I have. given hym everry think without effeckt; his father is welthy, honable and inflooen- shial as he is a member of assembly and god nose 1 don't want to loss hym what shall I 6o ans by return male. Yours frat etc"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30
NOT FACE PAINT

From the Richmond News-Leader.
 Observes the Birmingham Age-Herald This country spends s2ooOOO,0oO veal for paint, and some consider the eX perditure is so much money thfo"f away It is spent for appearances sake only as a rule" Most of it for the toile variety, our contemporary means to say vto tarpsIlnp
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30

Erskine Ramsay, one of the best in formed engineers of this district, has joined Mayor Culpepper Exum and the crematory committee of the City Coun- ell in New York. His advice will be given them, as an expert engineer, upon the location of crematory here
 Capt. Jack w. Johnson of the Seaboard left last night for Pensacola. where he vii. attend a meeting of passenger rep resentat es at that place. Others from here to attend are Fred Miller of the Illinois Central and M. H. Bone of the Southern.
 Cecil Grenfell of London, managing di- rector of the Southern Iron and Steel company, who had been in Birmingham several days, left for New York last night. He said that he might return to Birmingham again before sailing for home, but couldn't be definite until he reached New York. MT Grenfel was the guest of MT. and Mrs. J. c. Maben last evening.
 C. F. Buck. formerly of Birmingham, but now citizen of Chattanooga, spent yesterday in this city. He was looking the picture of health and was heartily greeted by friends here.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30
WISnOM- -IN CHIINKS.


 "A good theory that won't work isn't half as good as a poor one that will. Twenty years ago a young man just out of college had a great idea. He was go- ing to tin-plate tomatoes. There was to be no more troublesome pairing and cook ing and canning to preserve tomatoes throughout winters. It would be necessary only to drop a nice ripe tomato into his timing solution and it would come out coated with tin and would keep for 20 years. In fact. there wasn't any reason why 1t should not keep forever, The young inventor figured it would cost him 50 cents a gallon to make the timing solution. It surely would sell for S2 a gallon. Everyone eats tonatoes-that is, nearly everyone. Everybody would eat them if they could always have a nice tin-plated tomato lying around. He ought to sell 100000 a year. That would be a profit of one million and a half dol, Well, no tin-plated tomatoes are on the market yet. and the man who invented them is still making only s15 a week. The moral of this is that whenever you hear of a great idea that Is going to reform or uplft the world make sure that 1t is not of the tin-plated tomato brand. ."-Troy Republican.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Missourl's Antl-ProhibitIon Vote

Tn reading the official returns of the vote on statewide prohibition in Missouri I was struck with the very decided reaction in sentiment that had taken place since I was there about a year ago." said L. P. clifford of Phila- delphia. T saw from the reports the day after the election that prohibition was badly defeated, but I had no idea the majority was so sweeping. Ae- cording to the official count constitu- tional statewide prohibition received 2O12S1 voles, while the antis boiled 425,4O6. Out of 115 counties only S7 voted for statewide prohibition.
 T spent seven days in Missouri last year; was in St. Louis and in five towns in the rural section; heard a great deal of prohibition talk, and l inferred from the discussions that If Missouri didn't vote dry, it would come pretty close to it. wide prohibit ton sentiment was remarkably strong 1 thought A year later the feeling was the other way. The prohibition south and west, but the vote in Mis- souri shows how quick reaction is when it gets started
 Local option seems to be the ap- proved system for regulating the liquor business. Certain it is that state wide prohibition is not as popular as 1t was. The farmers who vote dry when the question is one affecting their own community. vote the other ticket when an entire state is affected"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30

The coast counties in New Jersey pro- pose to fit up training ships for in- corrigible boys. On such ships the boys oould not run away and would have to stand and take all instruction that came along.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30
LOFTY THOUGHTS.

What do you suppose Drexel thought when he went up nearly 10OOO feet in the air?" q don't know what he thought, but whatever he thought, it was high think ing"
 THE SHAPE COUNTS.
 A diving queen,
 Upon the stage,
 Would not, if lean,
 Be such rage.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30
SUCCESSFUL CLUB FOR WOMEN

the present rate of increase. it will be 15 years before the waiting list of 275 women is admitted.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30

The Mexican insurgents very naturally collided with Senator Aldrichs rubber interests in that country, and he has pulled his tongue on them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30

New Orleans is not wholly welded to cotton, for it assures the people that it's Panama celebration will be all wool and a ward wde
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30
WELL INFORMED.

"Benson says he met a remarkable woman from New York not long ago"
 "ln what respects was she unusual?'
 well, for one thing, she didn't rave over every unwashed pickaninny she saw and she didn't ask if every family down south kept an alligator
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30
Florida Times-Union.
anger
Schenectady Union.
EASY MONEY.

"There are all sorts of ways to get rich"
 ''Yes, indeed. Some men sell bogus min- ing stock and some just rob the Illinois Central rairoad'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30

Twenty English suffragettes cannot kick the shins of cabinet officers for two whole months. They must do hard labor inside walls that length of time.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30

Natural gas is piped from West vir- sinia to Cleveland and Cincinnati at 25 cents a thousand cubic feet. So it is in Kansas City. Such prices can not we'll be cut.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30

Postmaster General Hitchcock hopes in time to transform every rural free delivery carrier into veritabIe St. Nicholas.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30
HIgh-CIass Musical Attraction

s. Kronberg, representing the Russian Symphony orchestra, is at the Hillman. 'I hope to be able to arrange for con- cert in Birmingham said MT. Kronberg. If we play here our date will be early in April-probably in Easter week. It might be that we would have only an afternoon performance, and leave that night for New Orleans where we are en- gagged for several concerts.
 "The orchestra is having splendid sue cess in New York. It plays a great deal of Russian music, of course, and that is always popular. As the organiza- ton is made up of young Russian play CTS no orchestra ever heard in this coun- try can be compared to them when it comes to interpreting Tschaikowsky and other Russian composers
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30
THE SMILE THAT WON'T COME OFF

From the Knoxville Journal and Tribune
 Birminghamites smile when they hear of other cities kicking against the cen sus and demanding new count
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30

Abe Ruef, the former partner of Mayor Schmidt of San Francisco, is getting dangerously near to a service of the fl years that had been fitted to him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30

Diaz has already let the Maderoists know that he is to be inaugurated the eighth time He is an expert ballot box suffer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30

The seven7foot ballots in South Dakota have at last been counted.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

A SURE THING. Fair woman made A pebble, When she took on The hobble.
 THE OLD MISER. He didn't care for songbirds- Their music wouldn't last But the eagle on a dollar Made
 his
 heart
 beat
 Birmingham Age-Herald. He didn't care for showgirls-- He wouldn't buy kiss; At the thought of it his ardor Would
 Springfield Union. Nor songs nor kisses moved him, He craved more solid bliss, IIe foreclosed on an automobile, And
 passed
 away
 this
 Florida Times Union. He didn't yearn for autos, He had no desire to fly; At the thought of buying fudge,
 high!
 this
 rose N anger His
 Schenectady Union. He didn't care for highballs- You couldn't make him treat; And when some rummy set lem up They in feet. landed his
 Washington Post.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30
A STRAIGHT TIP.

The worlds all right, Old crusty cuss; Twill seem more bright, If you won't fuss.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30

The Mexican revolution and the Bra zilian mutiay were of brief duration, al- though the latter lasted until success eame.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30
MONOTONY.

sWhen a man is married. That's the time to sigh; All he ever hears is, "Buyi
 Buyl s.i iilIL
 Buy"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30
OUT O]

OUT OF DARKNESS. The matin-song of birds Was music in his ears, The newly-risen sun Made diamonds of his tears, And day was still so fair. So golden and so bright. He gave his heart to happiness And soon forgot the Night.
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30

The Mexican revolution and the Bra zilian mutiay were of brief duration, al- though the latter lasted until success Game.
 People are sitting up nights to read Tolstofs books. They simply desire to he able to outtalk their neighbors about them.
 Washington public school teachers are permitted now to whip pupils. Spare the rod and spoil the child, is their maxim
  Senator Lodge declines to discuss the senatorial situation before the common rabble. He talks to gumshoers only.
  Brazil wants Dreadnoughts that are not in the habit of training their guns on their own citizens.
 ---a- Some fear New York will be depopu- lated if all the get-rieh-quick concerns are driven out of it.
 -.s-- iie siuSsliS suiifdSette mas never De- come an immigrant in this country, thank fortune
  Mayor Gaynor is rapidly regaining his old-time vigor and habit of clear think ing.
 Give Miss Leneve credit for one thing she keeps off the vaudeville circuit. The promise of the house of lords to sign the pledge came too late. Airships sometimes take the wrong way as Aviator Drexel can testify.
  Baltimore is learning to stand on the near side of trolley tracks
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30

ALMOST A NECESSITY. q see where a writer says some snakes are useful"
 "Trained biting snakes are very useful in prohibition territory"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30
A CORRECTION.

A CORRECTION.
 The lines published in this depart ment yesterday on Birmingham and Memphis should have been credited to "Elize D'Aughdrille." The credit line was inadvertently omitted.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30

People are sitting up nights to read Tolstofs books. They simply desire to he able to outtalk their neighbors about 1 hern
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30
NATURE TAKING.

NATURE TAKING. ''Did you hear that fellow order two eggs fried on their backs?" "Yes."
 'How do you suppose the chef can tell which is the back of an egg?" ''Oh, that's easy.> The side nearest the fire is the back"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30

Washington public school teachers are permitted now to whip pupils. Spare the rod and spoil the child. is their maxim
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30

Senator Lodge declines to discuss the rabble. He talks to gumshoers only.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30

The promise of the house of lords to sign the pledge came too late.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30

Brazil wants Dreadnoughts that are not in the habit of training their guns on their own citizens.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30

Give Miss Leneve credit for one thing she keeps off the vaudeville circuit.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30

Some fear New York will be depopu- lated if all the get-rieh-quicl1 concerns are driven out of it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30

Mayor Gaynor is rapidly regaining his old-time vigor and habit of clear think ing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30

STILL. KICKING. 'Tisn't time yet for Diaz to grin; Senor Madero Isn't all in.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30
\ MEAN TRICK

Baltimore is learning to stand on the near side of trolley tracks.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30

The slugging suffragette has never be- come an immigrant in this country, thank fortune.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30

Airships sometimes take the wrong way as Aviator DreXel can testify.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-30

Anne O'Hagan in the December Century. -HE Colony club, in the three years | in which it has passed from sub
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-03
A Candid Doctor.

From the Youths COMPANION
Physicians and lawyers are sometimes
charged with protracting profitable
leases" through months. and perhaps
years, that could have been disposed Of
I'm few days or weeks One medical
man, who had no temptation to that kind
of parctice, was frank enough to take
advantage of the impeachment and nut
the blame where it belonged. A lady was
very solicitOus about her health. Every
trife made her uneasy, and the doctor
was called Immediately. The doctor was
skillful man, and consequently had a
large practice. 1t was very disagreeabIe
TO him TO be so often called away from
his other cases for nothing, and he re-
solved to take an opportunity of letting
the lady see this. One day the lady OBJ
served red spot on her hand, and at
once sent for the doctor He came, looked
at her hand and said:
you did well to send for me early"
The lady looked alarmed. and asked:
rs it dangerous, then2"
Certainly not. 4" replied the doctor. ITO
morrow the spot would have disappeared.
and I should have lost my fee for this
visit"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-03
SCOTT SEES HIGHER PRICES
Kansas Representative Who May Be Next Secretary of Ag
culture, Discusses Cost of Lining.

graduated in 1881. During my senior year
l thought I should either be a newspa-
per man or a lawyer At my graduation
l had exactly $40 in money. A college
acquaintance had gone TO SiIverton, a
mining town in Colorado. There was
plenty of work. he wrote, in that vicin-
ity. I paid my way with borrowed
capital Silverton was 40 miles from a
railroad. 1t had a population of about
1.500 persons, mostly men, and at least
twenty-five saloons and dance halls Ny
first work was to edit a weekly news
paper during a short vacation of its edi-
tor
Then cIerked in a hardware store
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-03

came the following spring the ties fioated
of toward the Pacific Ocean. and the
rails for many miles were rolled into
hoops and hung on the sides of the
mountain. The engineers decided that
it would be cheaper to move the river
than what remained of the railroad, and
so bitches were cut at all the bends. and
the bed of the Little Colorado was aetu-
ally changed from one place to another.
Fortunately, the subcontractor was busy
with his bitches, and when he had the
leisure to show an interest in my duties
I had become a pretty good bookkeeper.
I remained with him for a year and
until his part &C the work was COM
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-03
Examples of the Laws Delays.


Charles Il. Brewer. IN Mccaure's Magazine FOR April,
The Iroquois Theater fire in Chicago,
December 80 1903. as many will remem-
Der. resulted in the loss of nearly SEQ
lives The proprietor of the theater was
indicted two months after the fire. The
Indictment sTas considered by the judge
for three months, then quashed. year
passed, and in March, 1906. a new indict-
ment was drawn. The judge considered
1t for seven months Finally, In March.
1907, over three years after the fire, the
case came to trial. The accused was
acquitted-"not because the defendant
might not be morally guilty." as the
Judge expressed It. but he was not
legally guilty, because the indictment
had been framed on building ordinances,
and the ordinances were Detective not
the indictment itself this time. 1t may be
noted.
Delay in impaneling the jury. which is
becoming more and more In order, Is in
stanced by two recent Chicago cases. In
the first. known as the Gilhooley case.
nine and a half weeks were consumed
and 4.150 taiesmen were examined. at a
cost to the State of about s20eo0.
The second, known as the Shea case.
required thirteen weeks for the calling of
1e.oo0 men and examining AIS talesmen.
and this at a cost of $4,000 After this
well-ehosen jury was selected at such
lavish expenditure. there was a second
trial, and the selection Of the jury was
modestly confined to twelve days.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-03
She Came to Cheer.

Visiting friend-You've got a cool.
pleasant room up here.
Invalid-Yes; it is a very nice room.
Visiting friend (eageriy)-But don't you
think those stairs are rather ineonvenient
10 taking a corpse DOWN.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-03
Doubie-pointed.

He-Do you remember anything of your
first lover?
she-Yes; he has always been green in
my momery.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-03

DO you think she win object to my
suit?''
7 don't doubt it. old man. It's beast
~ fit
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-03

After my father returned from the
army. he ceased to practice his profess
sion. and later moved to lola. the county
seat, where he was merchant OBJ
tanned text books and prepared for the
State University, from which I was
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-03

English WON sometimes addressed
suadd virtually
of the
has I'm the ed
The Mobridge news. [volume] (Mobridge, Walworth Co., S.D.) 190?-1917, 1910-04-15

Bids will be received for the
furnishing and installing of a first
class low-pressure steam heating
apparatus, and ventilating system
foy the school house now building
in the town of Mobridge, S. d.
Plans and specifications can be
seen q. lie office Of James Wrig-
iey, treasurer, Mobridge, s. D.
Sealed bids, addressed TO the
clerk of the district. will be re-
ceived NJ. later than May DIST at
noon. Certified check must be
sent for Ave per cent OF bic.
The board reserves the right to
ject any or all bids.
B. J. OLSEN,
Clerk of Flora School District No.
y, Walworth County, S. d.
Dated April 18th, 1910. 25-6
NOTICE OF WALWORTH co.
TEACHERS EXAMINATION
Notice is hereby given that the
next regular examination for all
grades of certificates will be held
in Selby on May 5 and 6, 1910.
Work will begin at 9 o'clock
q. m.
All material will be furnished
by the county superintendent.
A certificate fee of one dollar
VIII he required Of each applicant.
n g
The Mobridge news. [volume] (Mobridge, Walworth Co., S.D.) 190?-1917, 1910-04-15

Notice is hereby given that there
has been filed in the Office of the
Town Clerk Il petition signed by
the requisite DuA.oar of freeholders.
asking that the to.'owinc question
be submitted to the voters
at the next regular election, viz,
Shall license be granted for the
sale of intoxicating liquors at
retail?" Therefore notice is here
by c.Ytn that the question will be
submitted to the electors at the
next election, which will be held
on Tuesday, the nineteenth day of
April, 1910.
Signed: w. S. WRIGLEY,
49-4 Town Clerk.
The Mobridge news. [volume] (Mobridge, Walworth Co., S.D.) 190?-1917, 1910-04-15
O SHERIFF

hereby announce my candidacy
FIR the office of sheriff Of Wal
worth county on the republican
ticket, subject to the will Of the
people as expressed in the primary
of June I. | have lived in the
county since the earliest pioneer
days, am now serving as deputy
sheriff, and respectfully solicit
Your vote and support. II. l..
Hughes, Java.
The Mobridge news. [volume] (Mobridge, Walworth Co., S.D.) 190?-1917, 1910-04-15

| hereby announce myself as a
candidate for the nomination for
the Office of States Attorney for
Walworth county, subject to the
wishes of the republican voters in
the primary of June L, and re-
Speotfully solicit the good will and
support Of the voters at that time.
A. A. Brown, Selby.
The Mobridge news. [volume] (Mobridge, Walworth Co., S.D.) 190?-1917, 1910-04-15
NOTICE OF

Notice is hereby given that an
election will be held on Tuesday,
April 10, 1910, for the purpose of
electing the following officers for
the City of Mobridge, S. D., viz:
One Mayor.
Two Aldermen from each Ward.
One City Treasurer.
One Police Justice.
One City Justice of the Peace.
The voting places will be as
follows:
First Ward, Hoven & Conyne
building.
Second Ward, Flick & Corken's
office.
Third Ward, Town Hall.
The polls will be open from 9
a. m. to 4 p. IN.
Signed: w. S. WRIGLEY,
City Auditor
Dated March 81, 1910.
The Mobridge news. [volume] (Mobridge, Walworth Co., S.D.) 190?-1917, 1910-04-15
FOR REGISTER OF DEEDS

| wish TO announce to my friends
in Walworth county that | an a
candidate for the republican nomi
nation for the office OF Register Of
Deeds. subject TO their wishes in
tne primary Of June I. Any SID
port viii be thoroughly appre-
ciated. f. F.. Gehrki, Selby.
The Mobridge news. [volume] (Mobridge, Walworth Co., S.D.) 190?-1917, 1910-04-15

The legislature might placate
the suffragists by making some
sweet-toothed woman state in
spector of ice cream.
The Mobridge news. [volume] (Mobridge, Walworth Co., S.D.) 190?-1917, 1910-04-15

The voters are the ultimate con
Is OF all ihe politicsl trou hi,
The Mobridge news. [volume] (Mobridge, Walworth Co., S.D.) 190?-1917, 1910-04-15

am a candidate for the repub-
lican nomination for county audi
tor at the primaries to he held
June 7, and | respectfully solicit
the votes and assistance Of my
friends. y r. deMalignon, Selby
The Mobridge news. [volume] (Mobridge, Walworth Co., S.D.) 190?-1917, 1910-04-15
FOR REGISTER OF DEEDS

hereby announce hat I am 4
republican candidate for the nomi-
nation FOR the Office Of Register Of
Deeds Of Walworth county. S. ID.
at the June primaries. w. F..
Hoffman.
The Mobridge news. [volume] (Mobridge, Walworth Co., S.D.) 190?-1917, 1910-04-15
Friday, April Is, 1910


y NOM me nRSI WAV "a HlIN CHI
10 o1rou+;ooa :. h.. =. tomnsnoonl
wban tbe, ;ournov 70 otbar ~c;t;as
~
come from ana what klhd Oh ii clty
they have at home. If the citizens
of Mobridge will talk Mobridge
whom tbav co owov from bomo tbo
I'm
80"
ilolhihE mas ever pee KNOWN 10 Ut
advertised rs an instance
how this advertising can be done.
clinn;nus fron , oorn1o of state
4h euu.
.
D'
la'ter 0 'iie huron l1era'o;
Among She river boosters
attending the Pierre Navlga-
ton convention were Nelson
L.. Nelson, president OF the
Mobrldge Commercial club and
managing official OF the Far
mers State oank OF that city,
and Editor Arthur Il. heene,
OF the Mobr1dge News. Mo
bridge Is The young Missouri
river city about ninety miles
above Pelrre that was brought
INTO existence some three
years ago by the crossing OF
the Pacific coast extension OF
the Chicago milwaukee y st.
Paul company at that point
ana the building or TWO other
'ln'S '''oosn 'n' ''ser'".'oh
0o""'is ""N'' "0"
Guy INC n"'"'"' o's''''u''ns
po'h' ioi az "''l'o"'0
VI '"'''o'o "a'i' "oa'"aro
anu NJ" "''p VIC ri'ef ''aino
co'iiiis vi 'here " very
pioN'a""s '".u'0 '"0
young oi'J' meSSPs' Neison
anu hooio "lo representative
hus'lers a'hohs d to"hlui Oh
"os' ehereet'c young Western
I WHO are well earning the
name oi oeihg CITY ana state
puiloers M the Dakotan cor
olally agrees Win them th"t
Monriage' the city OF tAelr
choice' promises 10 be one OF
inc pest on the map
Arthur keene, at one timea
we'll known newspaper man Of