davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19
MAY WITHOUT A COUNTRY

2 rom the Chicago Record-Herald.
 Zelaya wants to come back home. He is not happy in Belgium. The "Lion of Central America" Is tired of roaming at large and would return to his native jungle. He will be about as welcome there as Castro in Venezuela.
 When Zelaya was expelled the whole of Central America breathed a sigh of relief. He was a man with no redeem ing or endearing personal characteristic except his courage. He wished to expel 3 Peruvian who had offended him. The Peruvian threatened to appeal to his own government. Zelaya laughed sardonical- ly When I seorn the United States" he said, 'ridicule Germany and spit upon England. what do you suppose I care for your dirty little country?"
 zelaya showed no mercy toward those whom he suspected of disloyalty. He revived tortures as bad as those of me diaeval Spain. ''The Nicaraguans do not understand any other kind of treatment" he asserted. He granted nnonopolles in every staple article of commerce on con dition that he should be partner. Whis- ky, tobacco, oil. rubber, mahogany, cof- fee-from these sources he amassed the s15, 000,0O0 at present to his credit in Flu ropean banking houses. But all his money has not brought him happiness. The costly biioux and scintillating diver tissements of Paris have ceased to tickle his jaded palate. His conscience must be more painful than the toothache Wherever he goes, like Milton's Satan. hell within himself he brings. He would gladly exchange the luxury of the giided cafe and the upholstered cabaret for palm-thatched bungalow among the ban ana trees, in hacienda on the banks of the San Juan river.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19
JESTS OF ANCIENT LATIUM

la desirable friend he would be, better than Viscus or Varius; for he could write more verses than they, and quicker, too, and he could dance, too, and sing, In way to make Hermogenes -envious. Meanwhile Horace had gathered himself together for a final break for liberty. Interrupting his wearisome friend, he asked, Have you a mother or any rela- tions who are interested in your well fare?'
 "No." replied the bore; q have buried them all"
 Lucky for them!" answered the des- perate Horace; 'but still remain. Des- patch me, too, for the fatal hour has arrived. A Sabine witch told my for tune when I was boy, drawing the fatefu words from her urn. This child she said, must die neither by poison nor by the sword; nor will pleurisy or gout remove him. He will fall victim to bore. Therefore, if he Is wise, let, him avoid talkative people when he comes to mans estate.'"
 What the bore said in reply and how the poor poet finally got rid of him, he
 
 Is extant.
 Full of genuine humor. too, Is Horace's account of the millionaire's banquet at which, in every element of magnificence, Horace manages to find some touch of vulgarity. Thus, when 1t was found that the boar's head had been kept too long, because the host had bought it at a bar gain, he suggests that it has some vague 1 excellence because 1t was killed while the south wind blew, having therefore a breath of Africa about it. The servants who waited at the table were clothed in purple, and one of the guests, Nomen- tanus, was invited, in order that he might point out any excellent thing in danger of passing unobserved. The tap estry suspended under the ceiling gave way and came down amid a cloud of dust, whereat Nomentanus, the fatterer, bewailed, while Varius smothered laugh in his napkin. And so on through out the whole portentious feast.
 Juvenal followed in the footsteps of Horace, writing satires on the life about him with a keen and bitter wit. What can I do at Rome?' he asks, in his fa- nous third satire. "I cannot lie; I can ] not praise bad book and beg a copy. ' cannot cast horoscopes; cannot promise a fathers death to his heir"
 Again, he says: ''Dire poverty has no sharper sting than this, that 1t makes a man ridiculous" But in another satire he paints the contrasted picture of the traveller with empty pockets laughing in the bandits face. There is a contem- / porary touch In his saying, "He who wishes to get rich wishes to get rich ouick"; and he says elsewhere that lost riches are lsmented with true tears. Juve- nal has a sharp word picture of the Greeks, whom he seems to have respect ed as little as did Shakespeare, for he calls them "a race of comedians. If you smile, your Greek friend shakes with laughter. If he sees tear in your eye, he weeps, though he is indifferent. If you ask for a little fire in winter. hA pulls his cloak about him. If you conl- plain of the heat, he sweats."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19
Don Marquis in New York Times.

Don Marquis in New York Times
 N TOT only did Uncle Remus" have
 N his enthusIasms. but he had a
 little literary secret of his own, which he died believing that no one had discovered; and out of which he man. aged to get a great deal of mild amuse- ment.
 When the magazine which he founded came to consider the inauguration of a book review department, it was discov- cred that there were very few people who could write just the sort of book reviews the editor cared for. His assistants pre- sented a dozen or more aspiring candI- dates, but only one or two turned out the sort of work MT. Harris wanted. Finally he came into the office one day with a rather triumphant air, and announced that he had discovered book reviewer who almost suited him.
 She was an old maid, he said, a woman of nearly So, and she lived in London. He had known her in Georgra before and during the war, and had always won dered why 1t was that she had never written anything. And he had lost track of her only to resume an interrupted cor respondence a year or two before. She had agreed to do book reviews and for ward the copy from London. Her name was Anne MacFarland, and she had a rather sour temper, and he preferred to edit the copy himself.
 The office force noticed that Mr. liar ris had always copied off Miss Mac Farlands reviews on his own typewrit- CT before sending them or bringing them to the office; and they also noticed in the first installment that she had a style very like that of Mir. Harris himself. When the managing editor ran across the word "pestered' in Miss Netherlands "copy" he began to suspect that she was Mir. Harris himself.
 But he did not tell "Uncle Remus." He waited for further and more conclusive evidence; and finally he got it, but even then he did not unmask the villain. He formed the habit, as did the rest
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19

until after the holidays; that is to be expected,' said a broker.
 "The weakness of the market will give way to a stronger tone soon after the 10th of January. At any rate that Is my idea about 1t, notwithstanding the determined efforts of consumers to bear prices. The pessimistic talk in manu- featuring and railroad circles at this time amounts tosyery little. I have seen the market at rock bottom and all of a sudden take an upward turn and stiffen at high prices. I leok for very brisk trade before the 1st of March,.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19
THE WOODLAND THRUSH

By Frank L. Stanton. In the deep woods reno te
 A sweeter minstrel wells Than ever piped a m or twilight note In all the song-swe pt dells. It Is voice that scars
 Unwearying to the b lue; Transient--elustive- ven while Love adores; |. A phantom of the dew A sense of silver bells Swayed by light win nds-a thrill Keen as the leaf feels when the spring sap swells And sculptures 1t at will. And ere the lips can say
 song hath been-aware Of mystery the soul ha tn lost It's way
 Doubling and dreaming there. As one in shadowed bowers
 Of Sleep may hear strain Which haunts the mem ory in his waking hours,
 Nor makes its mean ing plain. Soft as a ripple splash
 Against the shores shelled walls O that the mystic melody would dash Down like the waterfalls Yet all the wood is stirred
 From violet to pine And have heard-and yet have not heard
 melody divine. Voice of the woodland thrush
 Dewdrop of song. that fears sA4.li The rustling of ieaf-a roses blush,
 And dies when Love appears: I lose myself in thee
 As who, billow-t ossed And drowning hears strange music in the sea
 Lulled by the sound and lost!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19
Cauada'S Naval Policy

Brazil and Argentina have navies and Chile has one, but outside of these three countries no American country has one of fighting proportions except the United States. Canada now steps forward with . policy that, looks to the formation Of a very considerable navy. From Brazil to Canada is a long distance, and in all that distance there is no rival of the Stars and Stripes
 The dominion parliament debated the subject long and thoughtfully, and it de- termined to begin a course of naval de- velopment without submitting the ques- tion In any form to the people. It deter
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19
Gns for Columbus

"An enthusiastic meeting of business men was held in Columbus. Miss. last Friday night and the matter of bringing natural gas into that town was fully discussed" said pr. G. B. Crowe of the Peoples Natural Gas company last night. "I have just received a letter from J. F. Ginespy. who went to Columbus a few days ago to interest the people in the project
 .walter Weaver, one of the leading bankers and one of the wealthiest men in the city, presided over the meeting, which was attended by many of the lead ing business men in Columbus.
 'The people seem to be determined to secure the service and have promised to raise s1Oo,oo0 in stock subscriptions that is necessary for the laying of the pipe line from the Fayette field"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
 Cusslng a problem won't solve 1t. but 1t can keep d man from blowing up.
 A man will think he has dignified self possession when It's unmltigated gall.
 The more a man can fall down the less grateful he. can be for being picked up.
 Even the chance to have good cry over it can't reconcile woman who loses ut gambling.
 The way to find out how much one woman doesn't like another is to watch how polite she is to her.
 Sin sorrows under punishment.
 Being unhappy without love doesn't mean you would be happy with it.
 A man can earn several livings, but get only one out of 1t for himself.
 Women put their most genuine feeling into their love; men into their friend ship.
 The difference between the average man and woman is how she will worship him when he isn't worth 1t and how he won't her when she ts.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19
QUEER GOWNS IN GREAT OPERA Bernard Shaw in "The Complete Wag-

Bernard Shaw in "The Complete Wag-
 nerite"
 Those who go to Bayreuth never re- bent 1t, although the performances there are often far from delectable. The singing is sometimes tolerable and sometimes abominable. Some of the singers are mere animated beer casks. too lazy and conceited to practice the self control and physical training that is expected as a matter of course from an acrobat, q jockey or a pugilist.
 The women's dresses are prudish and absurd. It Is true that Kundry no longer wears an ugly Victorian ball dress with ruchings, and that Freia has been provided with a quaintly mod isn copy of the lowered gown of spring in Botticellis famous picture; but the mail-clad Brynhild still climbs .ne mountains with her legs carefully hid- den in a long white skirt, and looks so exactly like Mrs. Leo Hunter as Minerva that it is quite impossible to feel a ray of illusion whilst looking at her. The ideal of womanly beauty aimed at reminds Englishmen of the barmaids of the '70s, when the craze for golden hair was at its worst.
 Further, whilst Wagner's stage di- rections are sometimes disregarded as unintelligently as at Covent Garden, an intolerably old-fashioned tradition | of half rhetocial. half historical-pic- torial attitude and gesture prevails. The
 most striking moments of the drama
 are conceived as tableaux vivants, with posed models, instead of as passages oI
 action, motion and life.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19

Charles Johnston in Harpers Weekly.
 TN the days when we were plodding
 through the four conjugations we \ hardly thought of the Romans as race of humorists; there was nothing ir- resistibly funny about an ablative abso- lute. And we were not far from the truth; for Julius. Caesar is a dry dog, even in the Irish translation: "All Gaul is quartered into three halves" There is some humor, perhaps, in that famous dispatch, sent from Paurs city of Tar sus, and communicating the victory over the King of Pontus; "I came, saw, over- came" But as likely as not it's brevity was mere thriftiness in words, not wit. In Virgil, too, there is hardly smile. Would 1t not have frightened our days If that tedious and priggish person, the pious Aeneas, had been represented by the Nantuan with a sense of humor? ? Tradition had 1t that Aeneas was the son of goddess Venus and Anchises or Troy, but 1t is hard to see where he takes after his winsome and frivolous mamma.
 But in Horace there is excellent fool ing. Take that gay satire that tells how he was going by chance on the Sacred Way, tremendously intent on some trifie or other. when a bore overlook him, and. running up to him, wrung him warmly by the hand How do you do, dearest friend?" said the bore.
 "Passably well," replied Horace, who barely knew his tormentor by sight; "passably well. as the times go, and I wish you everything you can desire" When the bore still followed him Horace asked him whether he wanted anything.
 "But you know me we'll" answered the bore, evidently hurt Am l not a man of learning?"
 Tn that case," siad Horace, "I tender you my respect" Then he tried to es- cape, now walking rapidly, now tagging, now pretending to stop and talk to his boy. But the bore held on. till Horace felt the sweat running down to his an- kles, while the bore droned on. praising the town and the streets. Finally the bore became suspicious. T think" he said, "you are trying to get away? But you will not escape me. I shall stick by you. whither are you going now?"
 Horace, with desperate politeness, said that his worthy friend must not think of putting himself out so; that he had long walk before him; was going, in fact, across the Fiber to visit a sick friend one who dwelt by Caesars gar dens, and whom his worthy friend did not even know by name. Horace does not say so, but We suspect that he in- vented this sick friend beyond the Fiber on the spur of the moment. But the bore stood his ground. q have nothing particular to do this morning." he said, "and I am good walker. I will go with you" Horace gave up in despair. He humorously describes himself as hanging down his ears like an overladen donkey and plodding gloomily on his perfectly useless journey, while the bore began again praising himself, and saying what
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19
sTODGINEss
From the Tuscaloosa Times.

From the Tuscaloosa Times.
 The students at Wellesley have been declared to be "a vast lump of unassimilated indigestible stodginess." What this means no one seems to know. Age Herald.
 While it is doubtless true that nobody could give a proper definition of tho term "stodginess," 1t is still like good many other words. we know what they mean, but we can't tell 1t clearly. pr. Aked, for instance, thought that pray or meetings were stodgy affairs. and there is generally a very clear idea as to the kinu of prayer meeting he was talking about.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19
PATRONS OF VULGAR PLAYS

From the Billboard.
 Among the several prominent people who have offered suggestions for cleans irg the stage, is one who ayers that the salacious play finds its patronage among the lowly. This argument may be in teresting but the assumption is far from being sound As a matter of fact, the persons who are most assiduous in their attendance upon alkaline French farces, vulgar musical pieces, and other noi- some stage shows, are members of the classes rather than of the masses. The theatre grows indecent simply because indecency has become fashionable.
 Your horny-handed proletarian may be vulgar enough in his person and habits, but he is no advocate of public obscenity. When he takes his best girl to the the atre he wants to see something roman tic and elevating. Villainy he will en- icy, true enough, but only in anticipa- ton of the fearful reckoning awaiting it in the last act His view of the world is essentially moral one. He demands that every departure from the narrow path be visited with stupendous penal ties; that female purity may be con- served, if need be, with artillery, and male honor, even copious blood-letting. No play which exhibits vice triumphant or virture a-mocking can ever command his patronage. He takes morality seri- ously, and he resents seeing 1t attacked, or even laughed at.
 The lowly, as a rule, haven't the. neces- sary wherewithal to buy tickets for an indecent show usually plays at the high priced theatres. It Is the well-dressed. educated persons who pay $2 head to see indecency served under the name comedy, farce or musical comedy. ln this year of grace, 1910, indecency draws it's chief patrons, not from "the peo- ple," but from 'the town"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19
Business Conditions

Henry Clews, in his Saturday review of the business situation, concludes as follows:
 "As the year draws to a close gen. eral business is quiet in nearly all de- partments. Fortunately, there are no se- rious indications of unsound conditions. At the west some financial strain is re- ported the lower prices for farm products having induced farmers to hold back sup plies, but in this there is nothing se- rious.
 "The south continues prosperous. ow- ing to the large profits of cotton grow ing; and the country as a whole shows the activity and energy inevitable with rapid-growing population. The east is still decidedly pessimistic, while the west maintains it's characteristically op timistic attitude. The true course prob ably lies between the two extremes. Our iron trade usually considered the best barometer, continues unduly depressed and is running only about half its ca pacity. This state of affairs Is due to the inability of the railroads to raise funds. Should they succeed in placing contemplated issues. and should the in- terstate commission allow some reason able advances, the prospects are that this situation will soon be relieved and that the railroads, the largest buyers of iron and steel, will once more place their orders for construction and equipment with customary freedom. If much long CT delayed a rush of orders must fol- low, If only to fill the vacuum created by long postponement
 "The immediate outlook of the stock market is encouraging rather than other wise. As for the more distant future, that can be more accurately gauged when we have fairly entered the new year,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19
MT. Knights Annual Inspection

Walter H. Knight of New York. chief engineer of the Alabama Consolidated Coal and Iron company arrived in Bir- mingham yesterday and is the guest of H. S. Matthews, vice president and gen. eral manager of the company. MT. Knight will proceed today to make his annual inspection of the company's prop critics This work will require a week or more.
 Joseph H. Hoadley, president of the Alabama Consolidated Is due here later in the week.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19
NOT HUNGRY

From the Springfield Union.
 Dr. Park says a rotten egg is just as nutritious as a fresh one.-Birmingham Age-Herald.
 The doctor is entirely welcome to our share of the first named variety.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19
THE UNDEsIRABLEs

From the Eufaula Citizen.
 Birmingham's jail is the worst yet says Florence Maybrick. The Magic City has been so busy getting peo- pie that she forgot about the quarters for some of them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19
A Fine Band

Snow's band of IS or 20 men, which led the Knights of Columbus process sion yesterday, was in especially fine form. It was MT Snow who furnished the music at Capitol park last summer and his band made quite a reputation then, but 1t was generally remarked by those who heard it Sunday morning that 1t played better than ever before. The occasion was the parade of the Knights of Columbus from their hall, on Third avenue between Twentieth and Twenty first street, to St. Paul's church, to attend a memorial mass for the departed mem bers of the local council of the order. It was short parade and only one piece was played-a beautiful funeral march. Owing to the fact that rain was falling the drums were dispensed with. The band was made up entirely of brass. Said an amateur musician, formerly a resident of a northern city, who happened to be on the street near the church as the procession approached:
 T have heard many first-class bands, but few any better than the one I have just listened to; in fact, few as good. OHe OL lHe lduitS lIe4ueHlly lOuno Wiln brass bands is that the instruments are rot in tune. Then, too, the tone quality of the individual players is often poor which makes poor music, even when the musicians play well together. But I was agreeably surprised to find this bant free from those faults. The tone qual ity was singularly pure and sonorou' and the ensemble was smooth. As tn, band stood in front of the church ant played as the marchers entered it sound ed like great pipe organ.
 T never played in a band but the mat ter of parade music is hobby of mine Whenever I am visiting a city and hea
 local band at the head of a procession can usually form an idea from tn | style of It's playing of the style of tn
 community. to say nothing of the must cal atmosphere. Any city that support
 first-class band is apt to be a first | class city"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19

Congress may pass pure-fabric bill, a bill as much needed almost as a pure food law. Under a pure-fabric law all clothes would have to be honestly labelled and fully described.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19
CHANGE OF Al LIFE TIME

From the Tuscaloosa News.
 lot of Birmingham blind tiger booze has been poured in the Warrior river and Is floating down this way. If it were not most too cold for a swim, we could take one of John D.'s whisky baths.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19

Justice Hughes is convinced there is many slip between plain justiceship and chief Justiceship. The one is, how ever, nearly as good as the other.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19

The Christmas recess will have a paci- flying influence on Congress, and no battle between the two wings of the republican party need be expected until January.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19

New Years resolutions should be tried out now, so that they may be adopted with some assurance that they will not prove misfits.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19

The Son of Heaven in China is to be feplaced by constitutional government, which is confessedly man-made.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19

Brooklyn's oldest citizen is 1Os, and he says his longevity is due to the fact that he never buys anything at a drug store except postage stamps.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19

Prince Miguel of Braganza married a rich American girl, and the pair are try ing to exploit Portugal for crowns.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19

The Sundays of December have been of the rainy sort. but the week days have usually been bright and balny.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19

The afternoons are now as short AS they will be- but the shortest day will not arrive until next week.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19

s Jack Abernathy resigned so quick no congressional committee had a chance to wllitewash him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19
TO winter in City of Mexico

T expect to leave for Mexico next Tuesday and will remain there until spring," said Maj. B. T. Seman. "I in- tend to spend most of the time in the City of Mexico. I was in Mexico about IF years ago. It was an interesting coun- try then and will doubtless find it even more interesting now"
 Major selman says he is taking the trip to Mexico for pleasure.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-19

Xmas" has simply gone out of fash ion Spell the word out in the old-fash- toned way.