The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1910-08-10
SYMPOSIUM soFJFUN
BY "The American Press Humorists"
During Their Annual
Convention.
The Copper Farthins.
lErom the Third Reader.")

Upon certain fine day a group oil
gleesome lads foregathered upon the
village green of the village OF X
.Jingling handful of silver. the most
cnviod of these was fairhaired boy,
dressed in silk and fine laced clothes.
This was Donald Doughnut, the son
of wealthy onion speculator who had
means to crafty his every wish. And
Mt this moment Donald possessed Ia
shillings to spendion knick-knacks and
amusements, while in far off Africa
savages were going without shoes to
wear, and in some cases hose sup
porters. III.
A little on to one side fingered a
poor ragamuffin with lofty character
written on is freokled face. This was
Sylvester sloppyweather, son OF a
moor charwomap, with hacking
cough. Sylvester did, not have IA
shillings. In fact, his whole store
of wealth was a copper farthing that
he had earned at punching holes in
porous plasters for the village apothe-
cary.
Come" cried Donald in DISCO
Lutte, reckless manner. let US each
see how quickly We can waste our
substance" And he threw a taunt-
ing look at the charwoman,s son.
At this the other lads scarce fore
bore to cheer-that is, all but Sylves-
ter. A flush mantled his marble
brow, and he murmured For shame!
Does not the Gopybook teach that a
Ifarthing in the hand is worth IA shill-
ings in the till of the pastry cook or
the waffle vendor?"
Shocking though it be to divulge 1t,
contumely greeted this noble senti'
ment.
Sour Scuppcrnongs!" Knocked the
young Doughnut. And to show his
princely extravaganza he forthwith
purchased can of cove oysters fol
each OF his young friends to eat OIL
put into their aQuariums, as they
might prefer. He did not give one tc
Sylvester--ho only gave him with
cring sneer.
Far from aping this example OF wan
ton folly, Sylvester showed his finel
qualities. He laid his farthing away
wrapped in cotton wool, to feast hi:
eyes upon it only at Whitsuntide ant
. Christmas. Donald, however, persist
ed in his ,profligate habits as II mon
cy' grew on trees and all the tree
were evergreens. 1t is easy to con
ceive that this would not last. Worse
it could not even continue.
:, A period of II years has nov
l elapsed. We find Sylvester Sloppy
1 weather, the charwoman's son, be
y come a prosperous pawnbroker, wit
:. a fine giIded carriage to carry hir
about. All this was inevitable, thank
to his thrift, industry, sagacity, al
stemiousness. ,frugality, wisdom, pr,
dence, farsightedness and many othe
G virtues too numerous to mention. Sy
y vester had become we'll Off and eve
r. rich.
8 On a dark and inclement night thel
n crept to his doorway miserab
wretch, dressed only in a thrcadbai
seersucker suit and moth-eaten fl
Pcap to keep off the chilling rays
the sun.
x "For pity sake, kind sir, assit
v ANGEL" walled lie.
~ One swift glance through pair
"a opera glasses and Sylvester knew tn
~ Donald Doughnut stood before hill
since in the pride OF poverty he h;
failed to sit down for want of cha
Soon SOM" exclaimed the opule
=, broker. Then what has become
~ ~ your IA shillings, sirrah?"
bo AT this Donald Doughnut burst in
no a torrent OF scalding fears.
"oh. sir" he cried, wringing /
blue.yeined hands, .'if l had saved I
IA shillings could to-day be smoki
lie. my own cigar butts"
ia while T. resonded Sylvester slt
ok pyweather. not without note of I
ID. umph. have still my copper farthi
lis intact. See." and he displayed
ZEE greenish,. unsterilized coin, 1t is nj
lquite valuable, Sbeing worth thr