davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01
Ioseph and PharaoI,.

From the Newark BEening star.
Pharaoh looked out or the palace win
dow.
Isn't that Joseph down there in the
crowd?' ne asked his attendant
Yes. ineftsble one.
What's he doing?'
buying corn, deathless boss.
Hes always buying corn" mutteeed
the Egyptian monarch. The royal
granaries can't hold much more. But
see-he seems TO be making a speech.
What's he say"
Supreme ruler" replied the attendant.
Joseph loves 10 hear his own voice. and
he never loses an opportunity TO deliver
his tiresome talk on craftsmanship"
Which shows that they thought they
knew thing or two about the high art
OF exchanging commodities even at that
early day.
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01
The Bunko Man.

The one novelty in the recent arrest of
a group Of near-fnanciers in the Flatiron
Building. New York. men who. it is estI-
mated. have fieeced the guilible public out
OF something Ike sSOOO000O. is the COM
pleteness OF the cleanup. The fact that
these bunko-steerers were preylng on the
public was wen known. and about once
every decade the methods and the sue
cess of these gentry have been exposed.
II would seem that this time the post
office authorities have pretty clear case
against the swindlers Some idea of the
magnitude or the swindle in which they
were involved may be gained from the
fact that when the post-ofice inspectors
took charge OF the incoming mail adj
dressed 10 these "financiers'' they found
that one mail represented takings OF over
81. 600. in sums ranging from money
orders for 81 up to checks for several
thousands.
The whole scheme OF these fake mining
promoters Is based on that instinct.
shared by rich and poor alike. that seeks
something for nothing. OF their surplus.
the rich men contribute thousands TO the
takers; the poor stint themselves To con-
tribute their meager savings. 1t would
seem that as a people we are especially
easy" for the fake-mining promoters.
though II may be remembered that one
Ernest T. HOoley, with his South Afri-
can mining get-rieh-quiek scheme, man
aged 10 gull great many people in Eng
land out Of millions. In this country the
get-rich-quiok men. by promising great
profits from gambling in Wall street. sue
ceeded some years ago in robbing the
public 10 a round tune. and since the
time of those exposures there have been
the flotation of numerous companies, "a
''mines." plantations, and what not all
OF them Offering a sure fortune In return
for a small investment AS in England
il was found that the exploitation Of these
swindles was helped along by securing
the names Of some noblemen as directors,
so in this country many OF these bald
swindles have had good names attached
10 them
Not one in hundred of these "oil
properties" rubber plantations" peach
orchards. Irrigated lends" gold mines
and SO on have had anything to them but
beautifully engraved certificates in gold
and green. hardly worth the paper they
We're printed on. Time and time again
the newspapers, the post-office authori-
ties, and the police have warned the pub
lie, but all 10 no avail-the bait OF large
profits without work has proved too at
traetlve: and well might these ''hnanclers
Of hot air. believe that there is a new
one born every minute"
The very life and essence OF the swim
ding concerns depend on the use Of the
mails, and the Postmaster General Is
quite correct i'm his assumption that a
governmental industry. created and paid
for by the people, shall not be used for
the undoing of the people.
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01

From the Charleston News and Courier
Mr.. Hearst stands for anything sometimes and
for himself all the time.
From the Florida Times Union.
Wonder If e lie Joe Cannon will be leader Of
the IN .fzetts il the next Congress!
From the Charleston News and Courier
The grea es' Of all moving pictures will be shown
in Washington on the fourth Of March next.
From the Providence Journal.
senator Lodge regards with distinguished imper-
turbability manifest effort to fossilize him.
From the Florida Times-Uniou.
In the tariff bill tie Democrats should draw the
frat commodities selected for duties should DC such
are not produced in this country.
From the Lawrence Telegram.
The people of the county want homes; public
officials. Because they do not more frequently get
them is no sign that they do not want them.
From the Philadelphia Public Ledger.
Uncle Joe NOT only believes in all his hobbies but
has the sturdy courage 10 stand out for them. even
though ths hosts Of insurgency rise and join in one
universal boo"
From Harper's Weekly
We now fully anticipate the nomination Of Wood
row Wilson for President Of the United States by
the Democratic national convention Of 1872, as
against William II. Taft Republican candidate.
From the Syracuse Post-standard.
Mr.. Dix would do wen to consider thst nowhere
does bis decision to let the legislature take cane
Of itself without interference or suggestion from
him bring more Joy than to Tammany Hall
From the New York World.
Political conditions in Massachusetts, make party
lines almost meaningless. Most Of the Democrats
and many Of the Republicans are in accord upon
the tariff question aud upon the Lodge question.
From the Boston Transcript.
Now that the President has taken up the multi
tude Of problems that face him Just before the as
sembling Of Congress, We trust that he may re-
gard as Of the first importance his assumption Of
the leadership q his party.
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01
a JUST SENTENCE.
Philadelphia Judge Knows No Diff
ference Between Rich or Poor.

ference Between Rich or Poor.
From the Baltimore Sun.
We are not accustomed 10 look 10
Philadelphia for any very high-grade poll
ties. or any very high-grade judges. see
ing that the judges secure their places
by political favor but recent decision
by a Philadelphia court sets the right
example for judges before whom are
brought similar cases. A wholesale mer-
chant was indicted for selling unfit eggs.
and when he vas found guilty seventy
FIVE members of the produce exchange
appeared In court and urged that he be
let off with a mere fine. The judge said;
I'm this day and generation il ought
not to be necessary 10 tell wholesale
dealers IN food products that they must
not sell food that is unfit sto be eaten.
The defendant. Ellis, claimed that he was
too big a man 70 bother about IT, IN
his defense he says: I am guilty. but
on account Of my position all that should
be done is to place a fine upon me.
Even II IL is the maximum / will pay IT.
But the real fact is that this is dis
reputable business, whether carried on
by man in the higher circles of So
ciety or whether II is carried on by one
who was tried and convicted OF a SINH
lar offense and who, at the trial, was
characterized as a poor Jew doing bust
ness in the neighbOrhood OF FIFTH and
South streets. l feel that In the many
cases before me In which the defend
ants are charged with selling impure
food fine does not accomplish the
proper results. as the fine is paid and
the defendant m
place and violates the law again I'M
prisonment seems 10 be the only way 10
stop this kind OF thing, and that which
has taken place here to-day viii pre-
vent. by the wholesalers AT least, tn
further sale Of eggs unfit for food"
And the wholesale merchant was sent
TO Jail. just as the poor man had been
sent for ike violation of the law few
days previous.
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01
The Growing Ships.

The plans which are being prepared in
the Navy Department for the battle ships
and torpedo-boat desroyers. for which
Congress will be asked TO make proyi-
sion at the coming session. contemplate a
further increase in displacement Not
long ago it was considered that the
size OF battle ships and destroyers had
attained It's maximum dimensions. The
proposition to build a 30O0-ton battle
ship, which was advanced in timorous
way at the beginning of the last session
OF Congress, was set aside as excessive.
Il Is already in evidence that the 10000
ton battle ship will shortly be realIza-
ton. AS fer the desToyers. the new plans
provide an increase in displacement from
$50 to 1900 tons.
These changes in displacement have the
interesting effect of obliterating certain
types OF war ship which have. in other
years. been regarded as indispensable.
F. This. the increasing size OF the battle
ship. with the retention OF speed and en-
largement OF steaming radius. does away
with the armored cruiser. once popularity
regarded as a destroyer OF commerce
a battle ship is better than the armored
cruiser in that it is more adequately pro-
tected against attack and is equipped
with the appliances for effectively engag-
ing the enemy and successfully meeting
the requirements of pursuit-or escape, as
the case may be. The Increase In the de-
stroyer displacement appears 10 do away
with the scout cruiser of which type the
navy possesses three vessels-the Ches-
ter, the Birmingham. and the Salem. These
three vessels are comparatively recent ae-
QUESTIONS. and have been regarded as
most useful factors in naval attack.
They are promptly relegated 10 the class
of obsoietes, so far as military useful
ness is concerned. They are not 10 be
considered as parts OF any programme OF
naval operations. since the enlarged de-
stroyer performs all the functions Of a
scout in its attendance upon the feet with
the greater ability of taking care OF itself
and getting out of harms way.
The evolution Of types OF war vessels is
one OF the most interesting examples Of
the change in expert view. There is Moth
ing more heeting than the elements Of
naval strategy.
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01
SAFETY MUSEUM OPENED.
Many Devices for Guarding Lives
on Exhibition.


From The New York Sun.
The American Museum Of Safety es-
tablished Itself permanently IN a large
room on the sixth floor OF the Engineer
ing Societies Building. in West Thirty
ninth street. The museum exists for the
purpose Of displaying all sorts OF inven-
tions and contrivances for the preserva-
ton OF human life
The museum is the fourteenth of its
kind in the world. but the first in this
country. There are dozen such muse
ums in Europe and one IN Canada. The
room is filed with thousand and one
devices. most OF them OF practically test
ed va;le Here Is a locking device. paint
ed red. by which a boiler cleaner or re-
pairer can head of all possibility OF
steam being turned on when he enters
the boiler There have been many &C
cidents where boiler cleaners were scald-
ed 10 death because some one, supposing
the boiler 10 be empty, turned on the
steam. The National Tube Company
exhibits this device, with which its fac
tories are supplied
One simple device makes an ordinary
gas cock lock automatically when It is
turned either on or OF. thus requiring
conscious EFFORT for either operation
Its purpose is 10 prevent accidental as
phyXiatiOn.
The Travellers Insurance Company OF
Hartford exhibits a device 70 be applied
either 10 punching machines or printing
presses TO make il impossible for the
operator 20 get a finger caught. The in
surance company says that II pays Ia
demonstrate this device and furnish free
OF charge blueprint diagrams for its
construction
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01
Our Clean Army.

From the New iork Mail.
There Is no body of equal numerical
strength in the public service among
whose members the habit OF cleanliness
is enforced more reIentlessly than in the
United States army. and If two men with
military aspirations had kept that fact
in mind they would not have presented
themselves TO recruiting officer IN Al
toona the other day for enlistment The
recruiting officer. after superficial ex-
animation. concluded that no matter how
well qualified they might be in other
respects, their lack Of personal neatness
proved them 10 be undesirable citizens,
and they were told that the army had
no use for them
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01
Extravaganee and Its Results.

In all matters that pertain 10 the COM
mercial and industrial welfare OF this
country. James J Hill has ever been an
optimlst Of the most pronounced type.
His close touch with the industrial de-
velopment OF the great Northwest, where
his extensive and successful life work
has been carried on. has always insured
respectful attention TO his utterances
upon business questions
It is well known that this gentleman's
most prominent characteristics and the
qualities which he shares in common with
all good business men are thrift and
econOmy-nOt the parsimonlous, cheese
pairing traits of the miser. but the pru-
dent, rational. and sound principles thar
manifest themselves most conspicuously
in The strong stand he has taken on the
question OF conservation OF our great ma
tional resources. This. in his eyes. is
only common sense and businesslike
outstanding OF wealth.
When such a man OF known character
and wide experience sees signs of a
period of depression. It Is morally GER
tain that ne. at least. honestly feels that
existing conditions in the business world
are unusual and abnormal.
The keynote OF his prediction Is the
almost universal extravaganza of the
people and the fact that but few great
enterprises are afoot or in prospect 10
call forth any heavy investments OF capt.
tai These hypothesis, II they are as
true and as widespread as Mr. Hin thinks
they are. will surely be followed by an
accounting For upon this point the
teachings Of economic history are beyond
all possible question. Since the days
when the grasshopper Of the fable who
sang all summer was rebuked by the
thrifty ant for not laying up a store OF
food IL has been one OF the trite maxims
Of the world that one cannot eat ones
cake and have it. too. All economists are
agreed. also. that II capital Is not in
vested, industry inevitably declines.
Many who consider that Industrial ac-
tlvity IN railroad and lumber interests.
with which Mr.. Hnls horizon is largely
bounded do NOT sum up ali the industrial
possibilities of this great nation viii
doubtless take hope and courage from the
time-honored refuge OF the sanguine that
''one door never closes but another
opens" Others. again. will tell Us that
prosperity, IN business travels in orbits
that are more mysterious and uncertain
than are those OF wandering comets. and
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01
PurposeIy Misunderstood.

From the Buffalo News.
She glided into the office and ap-
preached the publishers desk.
i have written a poem.' she began.
''Well?" queried the publisher, with a
look intended 10 annihilate
II have written a poem" she calmly
repeated, ON My Fathers Barn
and"
Oh interrupted the publisher you
don't know how greatly l am relieved.
A poem written on your fathers barn
was afraid il was written on paper and
that You wanted me TO publish IT, If /
ever happen TO drive By your father 5
barn I'll stop and read it,"
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01
Business Method and ReIigior

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer
In illustration OF the way in which bus
mess forms and business cares can alb
sorb a man. DR.. Luce. of the First Meth
odist Church. told a good story az the
Ad Club luncheon Wednesday.
This business man, having suddenly
decided 10 join the church. turned 10
his stenographer and dictated the fol-
lowing letter:
Rev DR. Robert Blank. City. Dear
Sir ! desire 10 be enrolled a member
Of your congregation as per usual terms
/ inclCse business card and viii forward
photograph for baptism az an early date. ~
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01

From the Toledo Blade.
a prison chaplain one day found con-
Wet feeding rat.
-ahar' the chaplain said. 80 you have
pet. eh?"
Eyes, sir" said the convict. his hoarse
voice softening and genuine smile iliu-
mining his hard face. II feed him every
day. I think more o. this here rat. sir,
than I do any other livin' creature"
The chaplain laid his hand on the con-
vict's shoulder.
In every man." he said. there is
something Of the angel, If we can but
find IT, How come you 10 take such a
fancy 10 this rat?"
1T bit the iailer. sir"
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01
How He FeIt Among Ladies.

From the Detroit Free Press.
George Won L. Meyer. the Secretary OF
the Navy, praised al a naval dinner in
Washington the old sea dog.
"One OF these typical old sea dogs" he
ended, was persuaded one day in Phila-
delphia TO attend a tea. I met him a
short time afterward. and said:
We'll. Marlinspike. | hear you've been
doing tea parties in Philadelphia 90
90 Yes, sir the old salt replied. I did
go 10 one tea party, sir
land how did you feel there among
all those ladies?' / asked.
I felt like a sperm whale doing GRO
chet work. he replied
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01
Pretty GIFTS for Mrs. Knox.

From the New York Press.
The wife of the new italian Ambassa-
dor 20 Washington. the Marchesa Cusanl
Confalonieri, has given to Mrs. Phi
lander c. Knox, wife of the American
Secretary of State, a fine brass vase. to
be used to- hold a growing vine in the
Knox house in the National Capital.
The new chatelaine OF the Italian EN-
bassy is fond OF flowers. and brought
some luxurious specimens of palms and
towering trees from her home 10 adorn
the Washington home.
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01

that the cycles of periodicity are impos-
sible of accurate forecast
But IN the period OF respite there is
time for much prudential retrenchment,
both public and private. that may go far
toward effective fertilization against pos
sihle depression. While 1t would be a
strange sight. indeed. TO see some classes
of American society practicing voluntary
retrenchment and economy. in that direc-
ton lie individual and national safety
and happiness at all times.
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01
lIodern MnsleaI Tnlifl.

From the baltimore sun
The musical editor acknowledges the
receipt Of sheet music 10 try on his
piano. as follows: ca The Babys Grow
ing Whiskers Now. the slippers Laid
Away, tbl Mother Spent our Last
Months Rent to Buy Set OF Pufrs:''
1cJ We've sold the Grand Piano 70 Make
Room for Lucy's Hat
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01

From the Atlanta Constitution.
Brother Williams is getting 10 be pes
simistic He says:
4 use ter never have much patience
wild folks what said dat de human race
Is close kin ter de monkey but, after
lookin' over some er de members OF II. I
Is free ter say dat ] knows many a mon
KEY who wouldn't take It ez a eompli-
ment "
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01
As Important as Oyster Bay.

From the Houston Post.
We do not knew that the people of the
country generally are interested in the
geography of Texas but we feel that il is
our duty to say In behalf OF Morgans
Point that it is small village on Gal
weston Bay. near Houston, of about as
much Importance as Oyster Bay.
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01
Premature Classification.

FrnIl Golfers Weekly
Those who bunch Jim Jeffries. the Chi
cage Cubs, and Theodore Roosevelt omit
important differences Jeffries will never
again come back. the Cubs may. and the
colonel. thank you, is at present. feeling
very TT
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01
Times Have Changed.

Prom the Cleveland Leader.
Times have charged. OF course. they
have, A few years ago she used to give
US silver cigarette cases with our initials
on EN-, silver-backed hair brushes ditto:
swell travelling bags with all the inside
fixings or opal and pearl stick pins for
Christmas. .Iow the best we can expect
is a hand-painted necktie or three pairs
OF SOCKS
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01
Never Let Them Recover.

From the Empofia Kans,l Gazette.
Hardcastle & Kenyon. the oldest under
taking house in Kansas. now have two
embalmers. f. A. Leonard and c. T.
Evans. Twenty-nine years and never had
a failure Their services are at your
command
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01
Why They Were Not Fashionable

From the baltimore American.
WAS the audience this evening a fash
ionable one?" NO: it consisted of very
ordinary people" But the people in the
boxes seemed 10 be handsomely and
stylshly dressed. $50 they We're, but
they weren't fashionable for ali that.
They kept quiet all the time the play
was going on
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01
The Hook and the Birds.

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
An ingenious man out in Indiana has
invented a hook upon which two turkeys
can be hung at once. OF course, our ma
tlon has long been hungering for just
this kind of hook. A cOntrivance which
VIII AZ once double the number Of hang
ing turkeys is not to be lightly sneezed
at.
But after getting the hook. where in
Tophet is a man going to get the tur-
keys?
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01

Or. Aked. Mr. Rockefeller's pastor. says
that mans club is only for social COM
fort. good cooking, and good company.
There are one or two little things you
have overlooked. doctor
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01
So Is Ours.

From she Winchester Ky News.
Our waste basket is being well filled
with copy furnished from New Orleans
and San Francisco. contendlng cities for
an exposition that is proposed TO be held
in 1915.
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01

DR., Woodrow Wilson speaks OF the
American appetite for legislation" Yes:
as an emotion IT is almost on par with
the hunger for office
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01
win See the Reporters.

From the Syracuse Herald.
If there is going TO be a landslide in
meat prices, nobody viii he sufficiently
sore about il as 40 shut himself I'D in
his library and refuse TO see the re-
pOrters.
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01

Mrs. Frances Hodgson Burnett says
hell is worse than archaic-it is rocco y
That is almost as bad as Billy Sunday
could do.
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01

DR.. Cook seems to have discovered that
even after ali the original excitement has
died down one can always stir It up
again by a confession
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01

Mr. Battling Nelsen has once more been
licked. He is rapidly getting into the
Roosevelt class
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01

A man in Frederick. Md. wants a di-
voree because he IS afraid of his wife II
that were a good excuse what marriage
tie would hold an hour?
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01

If you don't think the Congressional
Record carries any advertising. secure a
copy early and see for yourself.
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01

Those steam radiator houses have done
a lot 20 XIII of the Santa Claus myth
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01
Familiar Argument.

This machinery looks dangerous"
1T is dangerous"
why don't you safeguard your en-
ployes better?"
why, the danger element is just the
thing. We don't want TO become a ma
ton OF mOllycoddles"
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01

And another reason for doing Christmas
shopping early IS that the ladies hunting
for bargains will not be able. in hobble
skirts 10 get around SO fast as formerly.
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01

Ella Wheeler Wilcox has now started
giving wives advice. Evidently she wants
TO increase her popularity among the
menfolks
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01

At least Brazil has the satisfaction OF
feeling that IT was better to surrender to
her own navy than 10 some other na,
TONS
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01

The cost Of living is not SO high that
there were cot plenty OF people TO pay
sos for admission 10 the Yale Harvard
football game and 800 for boxes at the
Metropolitan opera.
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01

From the Aibans Argus.
The cost Of Twins, has been so accus-
toned to the aeroplane that il does not,
all az once, adjust itself to the toboggan
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01
About Due.

No items ia the press We see,
OR none 70 date.
The early snowbird seems to be
A trifle late.
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01

A Critical Time.

Does death end all?"
at didn't IN the case OF our turkey. "
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01

From the way they are talking about
further revision OF the football rules, we
are coming 20 believe that football must
be almost as complicated as the tariff
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01

why do you smoke on the back porch
these cold nights. old man? Youn freeze
10 death"
1T IS a trifie chilly. but were expect
ing my oldest daughters young man 10
propose any evening, now"
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01

If the Republicans feel lonely in the
next Congress, they can go over and flock
with Mr.. Berger. the Socialist minority.
The Washington herald., 1910-12-01

The organs OF President Diaz continue
to cry Peace. Peaee!" when there is no
peace.