The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-02-06

At any rate, all the BASES have been
using 1t regularly ever since. This one
stood there making agonlzed faces, and
rocked me in the cradle of the deep until
| was as seasiclx as an Attorney COW.
After he got through we lacked the
tone of the affair up again and quit sing
ing in United States. Nothing but the
imported stuff for our selected little CO.
terie after that. SO then there was a lady
who'd weigh in at about 24O pounds at
3 O'Clock In the afternoon of the match,
and she was dressed the same as all the
ladies dress that weigh that much In
about 90 yards of mill ends and rem
nants, SO that she looked like a January
white goods sale; and she did dainty lit
tie French chanson, / think it was. /
knew l couldn't understand word she
said Her voice made you think of Upper
Harlem-it was so full of dinky fats I'm
waiting, Harry. for you to laugh at my
little Joke. That's It; thank you very
kindly. And young gentleman gave
spirited limitations of some of our leading
actors, but the best imitation of all was
the one he gave when he wasn't trying
which was an imitation of a piece OF
cheese. And then we had more music
vocal and instrumental, but none of ii
naturalized; also something on the oboe
which is neither vocal nor instrumental,
and personally I don't know what the
devil IT is. And then, Larry, then the last
straw fell and the cames back broke
with "a low, mournful, creaking sound,
:'Wot wuz it ?" asked the House Detec-
tvie.
you'll hardly believe it when I tell
you, said the Hotel Clerk. 1T was a
regular lady eocutionist She fioated
forward a fmif
genius and favored the company with
one of those ully-constructed elo-
cutionist's smiles such as they learn EN-
during the first two weeks of the elocu-
fionary course. l began to feel myself
bleeding internally and | says to myself.
Just Heavens. will it be "Laska," or
How Salvador Won the Racer But
1t wasn't either. She said she was going
to try to entertain us with q pretty little
thing by dear old Jim Whitcomb Riley,
speaking of James informally, just that
way, and then she cut loose with a strong
line of sort of Indiana dialect that a
broken-down English actor teaches in a
South Brooklyn School OF Dramatic Elk
preston. And when she was through
somebody inadvertently dropped the palm
or one hand against the other and the
sound reached her yearning ears and we
had something about nine miles long by
Henry James somebody, for an en-
core.
But right there, Larry, the high
proWs got careless and left their guard
down for a minute and girl slipped
through that was no sufrragette, She
was one of those perfect thirty-sixes and
her eyes were the size OF Mexican dol
lars and she had nice rlpply brown hair
and big mouth, and when she smiled
she showed set OF teeth that made
you think of the first ear of sugar corn
in the spring. And she sort of per-
meated UP to the piano and cuddled it
couple Of little cuddles with her fingers
that made it chuckle aloud and then, to
the horror of all concerned-that is all
but me-she hit up quaint little ORR
entail ballad about an Irish American
King of cannibal isle who had rings
on his fingers and bells on his toes
and from that she went into Shubert
serenade by Lee or Jake, but l forgot
which one, treating of little German
lady who said Yip-I-Ady-Iay and didn't
care what became of her. Whereat, |
rose and surged forward and | said to
her:
Honey bun, / don't know much about
you yet. hut I'm going to in just a min
ute, so listen. don't know much about
the works of Old Bill Opus and I'm also
a mite shy in my knowledge of Issy
Sonata and the late jeremiah F'ugue;
but ! want to say that you hand out the
kind of classical music that reaches my
yearnlng soul. Tell me- I says, do YOU
know any of Charles X Harris new
stuff?' And then great hope came over
me and | goes on, Can it be possible, ;
] says. that you are the little widow
from Kansas City?'"
No she says, but the lady who re-
cited is
my hat"