The Green Forest tribune., 1910-05-06

or mining stock, when we sternly refuse to invest fifty cents in legiti- mate home enterprise.
 The stranger arrived at Beatrice and made helpful talk to remark ably large audience. As it cost noth- ing to hear the address, everybody went. The front seats were occupied by the town tight-wads, who applaud ed every suggestion that entailed no expense. There are many tight-wads in Beatrice, as there are in most towns; they are men who spend most of their time collecting rent from ten ants, and the rest of their time pro- testing against everything that will add one mill to their taxes.
 Many of the seats were occupied by merchants who never spend cent with the newspapers for advertising. When the gifted orator took a crack at the mail order house these mer- chants were fairly frantic in their en- thusiasm; but when he suggested that all Beatrice merchants should spend ? per cent of their receipts for adver- tising, they left in digust. Most of the merchants of that town are of the non advertising description; few leading ones publish their announcements in the newspapers every day, and make special efforts to attract customers from the rich and prosperous farming country, that surrounds the town, and the tight-wad merchants try to profit by the enterprise of their neighbors. Similar small potatoes are found in every town.
 But the queer part of this little incl dent at Beatrice was the fact that the speaker made a great hit, and after his departure there was much wholesome enthusiasm, and various improvement societies were formed, and the local papers printed pictures of large red roosters in decolette costume, and urged everybody to get out and do some boosting instead of roasting. This is queer, because the speaker of- fered no good suggestions that had not been advanced hundred times by the local newspapers. That is always the way. The newspapers are the hewers of wood and drawers of water, they bear the heat and burden of the day, whooping it up for their town all the year round, and nobody pays any at tention to them; and then stranger with pink side Whiskers and a standing collar comes to town and draws hun dred bones for handing out, for an hour, the same advice the editors have been handing out for years.
 1t reminds the Innocent Bystander of the hardWorking clergyman, who labors night and day to bring people to the straight and narrow path, putting all he has of strength and sincerity and inspirations into the work, to accom- plish beggarly results; and then along comes a converted contortionist or junk dealer, who breaches slangy sermons in a tent, and To and beholdl the sinners fall over each other to reach the mourn CTS bench.
 Many of the suggestions of the stranger at Beatrice were silly and childish. One was that citizens of the town go to New York or Chicago, and other eastern cities in the fall, and parade the streets, carrying the longest cornstalks they could find The speak CT didn't guarantee them immunity from arrest by the foolish factory authorities of those cities.
 Another suggestion was that the town adopt a slogan, such as Beatrice is Busy, and as this idea involved no expense, it was heartily indorsed by the tigh-wads and non-advertisers.
 And the gifted speaker carried about one hundred dollars out of the town!