davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22
Lonuinu.

Oh. for a lodge in a wilderness vast
For a month and a half or more,
Away from the strife and the complex life
On a calm and tideless shore,
Far, far from the call of the fall cam
paign,
With its endless clash and din,
Not caring a sou or a cooky Who
Will lose and who will win!
A bee line straight I want to strike
To nowhere far away,
Where silence lies beneath the skies
Throughout the livelong day,
Where never On the evening air
Is heard the baseball lore
Some fastness vast where weeks slip past
Without the latest score
In some cline primitive and calm
Where kilograms cannot
Discover those who seek repose
In this ideal spot,
No news of how the japanese
Intend to overflow,
With gun in hand, the white mans land
Or some such tale of woe.
I love the gossip of the day,
The news of crime and such,
OF all the tricks of politics,
But 1 can get too much,
And so a layoff I would take
From news and stress and style
And let the old world run along
Without me for awhile.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22
An AIibi,

"John, john" whispered Mrs. Gidge-
ley, nudging her husband.
"What is it," he sleepily asked.
"There's a burglar in the house."
"What do you want me to do-get
up and run the risk of being killed?'
"No, but if you find in the morning
that somebody has gone through your
pockets don't blame me-" = Chicago
Record-Herald.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22
zano,s Paradox.

Many persons will recall the famous
paradox Of Zeno by which he sought
to prove that all motion is impossible.
"a body" be argued. must move
either in a place where it is or In a
place where it is not. Now. a body in
the place where it is is stationary and
cannot be in motion. nor. obviously.
can it be Ill motion in the place where
it is not; therefore it cannot move at
ALL"
Bodies do move, however, and that is
a sufficient answer to the ingenious
philosopher.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22
Golf HAS MADE
RAPID STRIDES
Number Of Players In America
Is Increasing Daily.
LINKS ARE VERY NUMEROUS,
Big Gains In This Country Are Proof of
Its Fascination-NearIy Every Town
Has Its Course-Game Gives Many
Employment.

Its FascInatIon-Nearly Every Town
Has Its Course-Game Gives MANY
Employment.
Although golf in America is still in
it's swaddling clothes as compared with
the game on the other side Of the At
lantic, it has much to be proud Of, for
unquestionably the royal sport has
worked wonders in a comparatively
short time. 1t is doubtful if even the
most optimistic devotees of driver and
iron ten years ago would have dared
to predict that in 1910 golf would give
employment to thousands and add to
the attractions of hundreds of towns
and villages.
Time has shown that golf is not q
pastime to be taken lightly, but, rather,
seriously. Practically every other
game has its limitations as to season.
Not so with golf, for only a foot or
more Of snow will prevent the golfer
from making his rounds Of the links,
and weather is never too hot to pre-
vent it, either.
No longer does the man in the street
gaze at the golfer with his set of clubs
as a curiosity. Nor is the "hockey
player remark so frequently heard.
One might hear a man Of the navy
type inform his friend that golf is a
rotten game" but even this is a sign
Of progress, for he knows it is golf
and not hockey.
The huge strides golf is making and
has made is conclusive proof Of it's
fascination. Ten years ago the golfer
had to travel much longer to reach a
golf course that he does at present.
Every town Of any size at all has its
golf course No seaside resort is a
complete success unless it has its own
links, and it is the knowledge that golf
is to be had that frequently brings the
visitor and his family. This is also
true Of many inland resorts.
This ear business for the resort
or the village in or near which the
course is located. Even in ten years
Garden City. N. Y, has made big
strides in the way of improvement,
and much of it is due to the golf
course there. Incidentally Garden
City now has two courses, the second
being the Salisbury links, over which
the tournament Of the Eastern Profess
sional Golfers association was played.
This is by no means an exceptional
case, for there are a great many other
cities and towns where similar in
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22
A Real Argument,

They were talking about argument.
not in the abstract. but as applying to
domestic happiness. What do you
think is the most unanSwerable argu-
ment you ever heardY' one bachelor
asked q married man.
"That's very easy" he replied.
When your wife says. If they can
afford it. we cam there is no flaw in
that-and never will he "-Exchange.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22
a Strikino

"Walter Jones' said a teacher stern
~. you are not attending to the les
son. Did you hear Jessie Smiths de-
scription of 'hominy?'"
"Yes'm." replied the small boy.
"All right then. Give me a sentence
rectly."
To which the answer was, "Hominy
marbles have you?"
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22

The =:ra' stony desert of North Aus
tralia Was discovered Ivy Captain Sturt.
an Australian explorer. in 1S4l-ti. 1t is
north of the river Darling and is about
800 miles long and 100 broad. consist
ing of sandy dunes or ridges. Its want
of trees. except along the creeks, gives
the country a sterile appearance. These
ridges were probably formed by the
joint effect Of winds and a gradually
retiring sea
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22
Ono Distinction.

What was King Solomon renowned
for above all things else?" asked the
elderly visitor who was making a little
talk to the children of the Sunday
school.
He was related by marriage to more
people than any other man that ever
lived" promptly spoke up the fair
haired little girl in the front ROY Of
seats.-Chicago Tribune.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22
Banks In Mexico.

When a bank fails in Mexico all the
officials connected with it suffer more
than the depositors. The depositors
may lose their money. but the hand Of
the Mexican law descends heavily on
every one of Importance connected
into Jail before the paste IS dry on the
notice that is stuck up on the closed
door.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22
An Apt SUGGESTION,

The Rev. Samuel Longfellow was q
poet. AS well as was his more eminent
brother. He was the compiler of n
hymn book for churches. in which
work he was assisted by a fellow cler
gyman Of the same Christian name.
On applying to a third member of the
profession to give the book a title the
latter suggested that it be called the
Sam book
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22
Cured.

The following is a Chinese joke:
In a certain house there was a baby
that annoyed every one by its contin.
ual squalling. At last a physician was
called in. He administered a bolus OF
the soothing virtues of which he had a
high opinion and offered to pass the
night in the house to observe the eff.
fects of his remedy. After a few
hours. hearing no noise, he exclaimed:
Good. The child is cured" YES
replied the attendant, 1.-The child has
indeed stopped crying, but the mother
has begun to mourn"
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22
Miaht Do For SNORING Too.

"There goes a man who has found
a novel use for court plaster" said the
druggist. Gle vas threatened with
throat and lung trouble because he
couldn't learn to keep his mouth shut
while asleep. Finally he took to past.
ing court plaster over his mouth when
he went to bed, and now he has to
breathe through his nose or stop
breathing altogether" New York
Press.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22
A Canarv's Ears.

A canary's ears are back of and a
little below its eyes. They are not
hard to find when one has learned
where to look. There is no outer ear.
such as animals have. bu: simply a
small opening which is covered by
feathers. 1t is quite surprising that
birds should possess the very acute
hearing which they do. while lacking
the heshy flap which enables the ami
mas TO catch sounds ST. Nicholas.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22
Up to Date.

Our modern American heiresses
seem inclined to marry any title that
presents itself"
well, it has seemed that way, but I
think l note IN improvement lately"
improvements"
Eyes"
"In what respect?"
Some Of our more independent girls
have been requiring to have the title
bearers sent up in lots of a dozen each
to be inspected on APPROVAL
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22
Reiiaion Of India.

The religious beliefs of India are nu.
merous and range from Buddhists in
the east, pagans In the north and Mo-
hammedans in the northwest through
the great bulk OF Hindoos in the cen
ter, to Buddhists and Christians in the
extreme south.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22

he was libeled by a statement pub
lished by the governor in a Des Moines
newspaper.
Governor Carroll is a native of Iowa,
but was educated in Missouri, and the
early years. of his manhood were spent
as a s~choolteacher in Missouri. Later
he engaged in the live stock business
in his native state and in the early
nineties became editor Of the Davis
County Republican. He served sew
eral terms as state senator. was post
master of Bloomfield for several years
and from 1908 until elected governor
was auditor Of the state.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22
3,347 Miles ON
THIS POLICE BEAT
But Canadian Mounted Squad
Inspector Performed Feat
CANOES USED IN WILDERNESS

Nine Months Spent Traversing Top of
Continent to Report on Route From
Hudson Bay to Mackenzie River.
Swimming Deer Blocked Passage
Down River, PeIIetier Reports.
A policeman with a beat 3,347 miles
long through a wilderness that yielded
progress only to Il and over ice
fields passable only with dog teams
and ~sledges-that in effect was Inspec-
tor E. A. Pelletier Of the royal north
west mounted police, who, with Cor
poral NJ. A. Joyce and Constables r.
III. Walker and P. r. Conway, spent
nine months in ~traversing the top of
the continent to reafirm Canadian
jurisdiction over that area and report
on a feasible route from Hudson bay
to the Mackenzie river.
The story Of their performance is a
recital Of simple pluck and exploring
skill, a matter of fact carrying out of
orders without the lure of a prize like
the pole.
While the royal northwest mounted
police is eAvFerEN~here accepted asp r6 s.
ably the last word in police efficiency,
the popular conception in the United
States of the individual unit of this
Atkins" sort Of mounted soldier, giving
attention to the suppression of bad
men and gun fighters and protecting
h settlers from violence. All that
the police do. but more.
Advance Guard of Civilization.
They are thrown out far ahead of
the %northward advancing line Of set
Element. When civilization catches up
with their outposts they move on.
Not many years ago the southern
portions Of Manitoba, Alberta and Sas-
katchewan were distant fields ever for
the police.
Since Captain Bernier, a Canadian
explorer, discovered coal in Melville
island the police are pushing a patrol
in that direction. If the coal is worka-
BILE and settlement Dr. prospecting that
arctic neighborhOod is forthcoming the
police with a we'll ordered system of
justice will be on the ground first.
Only once were the police ever out
stripped by settlement, and that was
when gold was discovered in the Yu-
kon.
Inspector Pelletier's duty on his lone
ly patrol reveals hardships that have
no place in pictures of smart quads
and trim barracks with which the pub
lie is familiar. Daniel Boone rather
than Tommy Atkins" is represented
by the far flung outposts of the po-
lice, although perhaps it would be
more appropriate to compare the in
spector and his men with the early
voyagers.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22
by no means"
Suspicious.

With living at the altitude
Where all the records go to smash,
We more than ever doubt the food
That meets us in the form of hash.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22
Humor and
Philos
PERT PARAGRAPHS.
By DUNCAN n. SMITH

TT often happens that when a girl
marries her ideal the ideal doesn't
stay married.
Good intentions are all right, but the
great trouble with them is that they
always stay intentions.
You generally have to pay in hard
work if you get a chance to earn a
living.
Saving the country is the annual
task Of the annual graduate.
Don't stare at the bright side so per-
sistently that your eyes are dazzled
and in no condition to see the pitfalls
in your path.
When you find it hard to persuade
yourself that you ought to do a thing
you are either lazy or your moral IA
ture is %unbending a little.
The less you fatter some men the
more f1attered they are.
OF course a pretty girl resents a
plain talk.
Some people get rich by taking adj
vice, but a greater number amass
wealth by giving it at so much per ad.
Some persons are so actively en-
gagged in making enemies that they
haven't time to protect themselves
from them.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22
Generally.

"When poverty comes in at the door
love-
"Oh, yes; I know-loves flies out Of
the window
by no means"
mop
Certainly not. Love takes the wed
ding presents to the p~awnshop."
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22
Naturally.
IOU DID mar
ON PuRPoSE~

"There were a pair Of lovers in the
hammock last night"
"Well, what of it?'
Guess what happened"
Can't
'"They had a falling out"
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22

OF course a pretty girl resents a
plain talk.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22
Started at Saskatchewan.

wan and proceeded northWard, partly
by steamer and partly by canoe, to
Great Slave lake. Skirting the shore
of this great body of water in canoes,
the travellers turned their course al
most east toward Hudson bay and
made their way by river and lake with
many portages, through almost unbro-
ken wildernesses afflicted with the in
sect pests for which the north woods
are notorious.
The party arrived on the shore of
Hudson bay with the expectation of
being able to lay aside the paddle and
ease calloused shoulders from the por-
provided was wrecked, and the police
were obliged to delay at Fullerton un-
til winter SHOWS permitted a start
with dog trains for the south. The
trip from Fullerton, which is on the
siXty-second parallel of latitude to
Churchill, $50 miles south, was at
tended by many hardships.
The amount of game observed by
the patrol was wonderful. Describing
the journey from Artillery lake to the
Height Of Land. Inspector Pelletier
writes:
Aided by the sails, we were making
good time, but were delayed by large
numbers Of deer crossing at various
points. We must have seen between
10000 and 10000. The hills on both
shores were covered with them, and at
a dozen or more places where the lake
was from a half to a mile wide solid
columns of deer four or five abreast
were swimming across and so closely
that we did not like to venture through
them for fear Of getting into some
mixup.'
No Dry Clothes or Beds.
The inspector continues:
The worst feature of a long jour
ney like this 1--WE were forty-three
days. in a country where no fuel is
to be procured is the absolute impos-
sibility of drying clothes. bedding,
etc. The moisture from the body ac-
cumulates, and there are no means to
dry clothing, to get rid Of it in any
way, and every day sees it harder to
put on in the morning and the bed
harder to get into at night until both
bedding and clothing become as stiff
as a board from the ice.
1T is a very uninviting task and
d~isagreeable procedure getting into an
icy bed at night and the same thing
In the morning getting into icy clothes.
Sleeping with ones clothing on only
makes matters worse"
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22

TT often happens that when a girl
marries her ideal the ideal doesn't
stay married.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22
It's Their Trade,

''They say the Chinese improve on
acquaintance"
"Yes, they wash WELL"
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22
Ambiguous

What kind Of soup is this?"
Vegetable soup. canned"
"Canned?"
Eyes"
II wish you would can it again.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22
To Be

SD be ashamed of myself if I were
you"
Would you really?"
Il should say So"
give always noticed that you seem
to have queer IDEAS"
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22

The less you f1atter some men the
more fiattered they are.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22
Some people get rich by taking adj
vice, but a greater number amass
wealth by giving it at so much per ad.

Some persons are 80 actively IN
gagged in making enemies that they
haven't time to protect themselves
from them.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22
Had to Try.

He seems to be a cheerful fellow"
Eyes; he always sings at his work.
But will the boss and his fellow
workers stand for it?"
'They have to. He works in grand
opera"
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-09-22

Good intentions are all right, but the
always stay intentions.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1910-09-16
GATES WERE NOT LOWERED
Train Crashes Into Hack, Kills Horses
and Injuries Driver.

Bismarck. n D., Sept IA stool
train going at least fifteen miles an
hour through the city struck a hack
driven by Hans Olson. The hack was
destroyed. one horse killed and the
other injured so it will have to be
killed. Olson had leg and arm bro.
ken. The accident occurred at a
crossing where gates are operated, but
for some reason the gates were not
lowered.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1910-09-16
Fires Under Control.

Seattle, Wash, Sept Dispatches
from Bellingham state that the brush
fires that had wrought great havoc in
Whatcom county are under control
and that the loss was estimated at
$500. 900.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1907-1917, 1910-03-03
Revise Court Procedure, Urges
ThOS. E. Watson

(From the Constitution of February 1e, 1900
EDITOR CONSTITUTION After reading the
very thoughtful and timely article of Judge
Fred Foster in Sundays Constitution, I am
moved to give you some ideas of my own on
that most important subject.
In November, 1876, entered upon the
practice of law at this place, and for nearly
thirty years [ was in the courts. From the
lowest to the highest, my business ran; and I
became professionally familiar with all kinds
of litigants and litigation.
Consequently, disinterested expression of
opinion, coming from lawyer of my ex-
perience, may be worth consideration.
Judge Foster failed to touch either one of
the two most vital defects in our plan of
campaign to punish crime by process of law.
~ OR Judges act as aanpires Of game
played by hired e@perts. In this particular,
the American system Estate Courts, mean)
is utterly vicious. Judges should be made re-
sponsible for the melting out of justice They
should take an active hand in the trial, at all
stages. They should not allow good case
to be lost through the fault of sorry law
yer. The trial should not be mere bout be-
tween opposing counsel.
The Judge should be in the highest, broad
est, best sense anaicus cuu'iae-the friend of
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1907-1917, 1910-03-03

to be. hoped, however, that "their way' will
not become the fashion.
In Bro. Rolfe's letter to "Dear Omri', the
latter is accused Of misleading an orphan girl
into defiance of the Bible School authorities,
and into telling Stories. This doesn't
mean anecdotes: it means "a shorter and ug-
lier worldly
Dear Omri is also accused of telling sMiss
Ethel Bell that certain women who have been
spending their lives in sacrifice had no more
religion than sow.
The reply which "Dear Omri" makes, on
this point, is so very remarkable that [ give
1T in Omrls own words:
IS. My language to ladies and concerning
ladies has been as nice and decent as the
purest English affords What aoomaom has
anhood SO pure that such an abominable ~
name is not to be mentioned before her?'' :
Dear Omri lodges the point, you see He
did not deny that he had told Miss Bell that
some of the Bible School ladies had no more
religion than a SOW.
How much religion Omri himself has, God
only knows. But he charges that members
of the Bible School faculty are guilty of
things which they could not get forgiveness
for, without a thousand years of PRAYER
And yet, knowing all this, Omri said moth
ing about it, coz1uded en- conceaziaaq It,. does
mot e0eao noac tell as qoho the guizty members
are, or qOh0t they haze done; but he felt called
upon to 60 into the papers to attack me! And
why! Because it has become a fad to be
more concerned about the foreigners than
about home folks and home conditions.
| guess [ won't reply to Omri's piece at
lacking me. He himself has replied to it.
most effectively.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1907-1917, 1910-03-03
'.Ebochic0I' Ellis Again
Says The Christian Madeu:

Mr. Ellis is the gentleman who was selected
by some prominent laymen of our State as their
champion to meet Thos. E. Watson in debate on
Missions, a debate which Mr.. Watson was smart
enough to decline
WE'LL Mr.. Watson isn't the only smart man
that's declining debates
There are Messrs Bell and Graham who
were "smart enough to decline" to allow me
to come into The Christian IodeU, and debate
Missions with any and all comers-the nigh
ty Ellis not excepted
And then there's Rev. w. G. Lovett, DID,:
he's smart one, too. He refused to let me
have it out with Towson & Co., you remem-
Der.
And them again, there's Bro. Lengee
Broughton: he was smart enough to decline
to debate with Rev. j. A. Scarboro or to
enter into written controversy with Yours
as-Ever
In fact, every one of these so-called relig-
1ous papers has the happiness to be edited
and managed by men who are EEsmart enough
to decline" to allow one of us Gospel Mis-
sions advocates fair fight in their hide
bound columns.
Suppose | should lay down all my editorial
and book writing work, to go nearly two
hundred miles for verbal discussion with
negligible quantity like Epochical Ellis,
how could | refuse the Challenges" of bump
tious Everybodys and Nobodys all over the
land?
Besides, such question as Foreign Mis-
sions could not be satisfactorily disposed of
In a verbal debate of two or three hours
However, to show that [ felt no lack of
confidence in my position, [ published in the
Washington Cd. CO. Post an offer to donate
$1,000 to home charities if the fanatics could
get Bryan to meet me. This offer, as I dis
tinctly stated, is good for all of this year
Surely, Bryan will come home after awhile;
and then we will see what he has to say
about it.