The San Francisco call., 1910-04-24

much magic in history. Take the
l. New England character. for in
stance. In these later days you
can almost approach 1t without your
winter clothing. It has been softened,
humanized-you may even say civil
ized-by the genial influence of pie.
Pie and the declaration of indepen-
dence are perhaps equal factors in the
development of the New Englander as
citizen Of the United States. Under
the frosty, surly climate the first NOV
ing rays of more humanlike way ap-
pear resplendent. shining upon the
crust and fruu and meat Of the first
pie. which was. incidentally, a mince
pie-a stepping stone. take it. If a
pie can be stepping stone. between
the meat pie Of England and the very
glorious and inspiring fruit pie Of this
country.
The manner OF the thing was this:
The Puritan Fathers brought the meat
pie habit with them from England.
The crust idea was firmly imbedded in
them, together with an enthusiasm for
burning witches. Then the climate
spoke. It said that in the matter Of
religious eKhortations or the burning
OF witches it was Indifferent. but that
in the matter OF fruit It was inhexible
It proposed a sort OF annual early clos
ing law. There were no exceptions
There was no back door. For six
months In each twelve there was no
fruit. Then it was that the New Eng
land conscience became really active
The housewife one day experimental
Cprobably when her husband was away
burning a witchl with dried apples and
meats She tried TO disguise the flavor
OF some meat which was overdue, so
to speak. It was intended for her meat
pie OF British ancestry. There was the
pile OF dried apples; there was the
meat-overdue. There was that instinct
for-well. economy. Result, the first
mince pie.
When her husband came home from
burning the witch he was in an unc-
tuous mood. He had done a good
Christian deed. Then came the pie.
The JUNCTION Of his manner became be-
atifed He expanded spiritually as well
as bodily. I would not say that he made
a beast Of himself, but he certainly had
indigestion - 5ustifable Indigestion.
wouldn't you. sir. If your wife had
suddenly discovered the majesty of
mincee This. then was the first pie.
Il was the progenitor Of many pies.
This was exactly the way it was pre-
pared. Incidentally, II this doesn't
start q controversy upon the origin Of
mince 1t isn't my fault.
But let US come TO the pie concrete.
What qualities should the perfect pie
contain? At what should we aim II
we are to reach tie helghts-the un-
riven Businesses OF the pie which
crowns Imagination and decks the
fainting fancy with airy garlands?
Well she should have a certain rich.
luxurious fuliness OF favor; the dis
Greet voluptuousness Of restrained
exotic. She should have the rich preg-
nancy of subtleties which hunger while
they feed. She should be q skillful
lover-our pie. You should never
weary or her Her myriad excellencies
mus charm you singly. collectively
and by infinite combinations Of seduc-
tive essences. She must be q shifting
phantasmagoria or charm. You must
ind yourself wondering why she fas-
cinates. She must have a golden breast
Of it he uoV discreetly covered with
cranber~ies or pumpkin). and IL it is.
why. then she must be crisscrossed
with eolden yellow bars, for garniture
and crunchiness and comfort Her
kindly outer SELF must be crunehy. too.
and GRUMPY and chummy and crispy.
She must not melt in your mouth-as
the vandals are never tired Of saying
but You may speculate as TO whether
she would do so If she were given time.