The Norfolk weekly news-journal. (Norfolk, Neb.) 1900-19??, 1910-06-10


81 don't care to attend parties, but
my friends are asked to remember |
want to be invited. PEARSON Irvine.
After woman has been married
few years she doesn't have any more
respect for the men than a good cook
has for hotel dinner.
People are always saying to us
"Why don't you get an automobile?"
If we should buy one, people would
soon be saying to us, why don't you
buy a new one?"
No girl is entirely happy and salts
fed with her lover if she continues to
say her prayers during her engage
ment
Every man thinks he is entitled to
eat as much as he can buy. That's
the reason stomach complaint is so
common.
We believe in working for a living,
but shall not insist it is necessary so
long as the prophet can make his bust
ness pay.
1t is possible for a woman TO get so
accustomed to her husbands explo-
in one piece.
Another thing we hate: to shake
hands with a woman, and have her
jerk her hand away, as though we are
holding it too long.
81 have heard a great many men tell
of the great ambition of their lives
| My greatest ambition is to have moth
| ing to do on circus day. Drake Wat
| son.
Quit hating your enemies, and quit
talking about them. You needn't love
them, and you needn't speak to them,
but quit hating them, and quit talk
ing about them.
When a man buries his wife and
has her put where there isn't room
beside her for another grave the wo-
men on the way home from the funer-
al talk of mobbing him.
When a boy climbs to the roof of
the house, and his mother comes out
in the yard and threatens what she
will do if he doesn't come down, it
shouldn't be funny sight but it is
One of the first delusions a young
husband gets rid of is that his brides
numerous wedding gowns mean she
won't have to have any more clothes
for some time.
A New York dispatch says the bus
tie is coming back. How true it is
that nothing in this world is ever
wasted. The turban, which is going
out, can now slide further down, and
make temperance.
Mrs. Lysander John Appleton was
engaged in pulling out the entrails of
a chicken Don't say entrails," said
Daysey Mayme, as her Daily Bit OF
instruction to her mother "viscera
sounds so much more refined Il
notice, she added, that here of late
all the dead rich have them"
If you give a party you will have
trouble; that is all there is about it,
You can't invite everybody, and those
not invited will hate you. 1t is not
pleasant not to be invited to a party;
everybody can testify to this. II
makes you feel that you are being
neglected, left out, and don't amount
to much.
The children of an Atchison man
always have a lot of kittens around
AS the man does not like to put them
in sack and drown them, he has de
vised a novel method of getting rid OF
them; he puts blue ribbons around
their necks, indicating that they are
pets, and valuable, and the neighbors
soon steal them.
Mrs. Lysander John Appleton was
disposed to grumble when talking tc
a caller in her parlor this afternoon
Il declare" she said, there is no use
busting with that comet hanging
around | busted that table just hall
, an hour ago, and look at the dust
from the comet on it now. Since the
comets tail began tapping arounC
here, | have busted my parlor on al
average of seventeen times a day"
When a wife is unfaithful to a nus
band the men never forget the hus
band if he makes up" with her
Jack Cudahy is invited to take notice
, the papers say he is again flirting
with his wife. Cudahy acted proper
ly when he found strange man il
{ his house at o'clock in the morning.
r he marked the man for life, anC
7 promptly left his wife. Let him con
tinue to act properly and keep away
from the woman.