davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-10-27
The Reproof.

1t was i'm the midst of the football
season. and the students of Professor
Banks class. we'll aware that their
lesson had been neglected. were pre-
pared for reproof. but not for Just thu
way in which it came.
NJ the end of the hour he slammed
down his book ON the desk and OK
ci;limrd:
We'll. that's the worst recitation |
ever listened To. Why. I've actually
done nine tenthS of it myself" Youth $
Companion
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-10-27
EiIiaI Re7srtee.

Richard Hriislry Sheridan. VIII" WAS
always distressed for money. WAS one
daN hacking his face with Il dull razor
when he turned to his eldest son and
said:
Tom. if you open amy more oysters
with my razor III cut you off With Il
shilling"
Very we'll. father" said Tom, but
whore will sou get the shilling:"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-10-27
Unanswered.

To anxious Inquirer" who asks US
II there gre rats OH c'tbont and
whether c"wc:ltchers were first put o,
milk trains. we reply that the editor
who knows. all about such things is
busy looking up whether or not Rich
ard ILL.,. when he stopped kim:
Htnry's bier. thus became the first
temperance crusader. and will no, he
able to answer Anxious Inquirer until
he rests up a le.-Brownins's Mag
nuillo
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-10-27
Tho Prize Holder.

II understand YOU have II fine track
team here" said the visitor to the man
VIII" was showing him over the college
campus. What individual holds most
of the medals:"
"rhc town pawnbroker.' answered
his guide after due deliberation. New
York Journal.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-10-27
Tho Remains.

After many unsuccessful attempts a
little girl managed to spell that" cor
rectly. Now" said her mother. whit
remains after t is taken away:"
The dirty cups and saucers" was
the reply.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-10-27
Another Shock.

Bore-l've had an awful shock. !
went for long walk OH Sunday morn.
ing with another man. and he commit
ted suicide on Sunday evening. Bored
(surprisedl-Not until evening?
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-10-27
Misdeajs,

Sillcus-Love is a game In which
Cupid deals the cards. Cynicus-Then
why does he so often deal from the
bottom OF the Observation-Disclosures
Record
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-10-27
She Had Reason.

"Johnny. what is the meaning sought
to he conveyed in the assertion. Free.
dom Shriekcd when KosciuSko fell:'"
"Freedom was probly what he fell
oD, ma m"-Houston Post
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-10-27

REMEMBER that the Spa
fard Studio will make a photo
for you, any time any place, of
any thing, any where, and any
|0ld way you want it.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-10-27
Knows What's Comma.

Hewitt-Gruet is discharged nbcu.
every Saturday night. Jewctt-Yes.
during the week he feels as II l,a were
between two fires. New York Press.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-10-27
A Comforting Map,

There is always the right kind nt
weather In some parts Of the United
States. according I" the weather map
Dayton News.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-10-27
The utilitarian-

Hello. Johnny" said the village
blacksmith. II hear your paw mas gone
into politics"
Sure
Howe that happcn:"
We'll. my uncle left him Il silk hat
and a Prince Albert coat in his will;
and paw had to do something with
them . Washington Star.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-10-27

Nothing Is law that ia rot rensca..
Sir John Powell
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-10-27
Enlightened.

Before married" said MIR Hen.
peck. II didn't know what it meant
TO support wife"
II presume you know now"
Yes. indeed ! looked up the worui
support in the dictionary and discos.
cred that one of its meanings is 'e1.
dure'"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-10-27

McGavren has a large supply
of those good husking mittens
Ask those that have used them
as to their merit.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-10-27
We have just received a new
supply of pennants and arm
bands. Something new.
]. D. Brown & Son.
Notice.

All those wanting change of
ad for our Weekly are req uest-
ed to have their copy in NO
LATER than. Wednesday noon.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-04-05
DONOVAN AFTER A YEATS IN
RING, WILL FIGHT SULLIVAN
UNLESS He STOPS LYING
BY Tip Wright.

You have read Prof. Mike Dono-
vans story-what do you think of
lit? You can form pretty fair es-
innate of this veteran of the ring,
from what he writes, can't you?
Well, what do you say, when l
tell you that Mike Donovan, now
63, is willing to fight it out with
John l.. Sullivan?
You'd think that man who has
passed through "A years of strenu-
Gus life would be willing to let well
enough alone. But not Mike DON
ovan. Between eating and box
ing, Donovan is keen for the lat
ter. And he's blessed with a
healthy appetite, too.
Donovan authorizes me to say
that he will fight Sullivan at the
drop of a hat.
"I'll fight John l.. Sullivan, and
I'll whip him, too. The only pro-
vision / make is that Charlie
Mitchell doesn't do it first" said
Donovan to me, as he pulled on a
pair of light gloves for a workout.
Before Sullivan sailed for Eng
land to put on his monolog, he
stated that l had challenged him
to fight, but had backed out. l
didn't back out, and John knows
it.
when Sullivan was % and i
was 80, l gave him the lie direct.
He'll remember the occasion when
he reads this. The police pre-
vented a fight. 1t wasn't / who
stopped.
fright here, through Tip
Wright, / challenge Sullivan again
and I'll make good. too.
Sullivan talked lot before he
sailed. Among other things he
said he slaughtered Charlie Mitch
ell in Madison Square Garden In
1883. John knows this isn't so
There wasn't a drop of blood shed
and Mitchell was fighting as hard
as Sullivan or even harder, in the
third round, when the police in.
lterfered.
sullivan remembers what hap
pened i'm his dressing room after
that fight. It's a story I'll never
tell for publication while 1 live
L have told IL 20 Tip Wright In
confidence and i know he will re.
spect my wishes. When / am
gone and Sullivan is gone he may
do as he pleascs about printing it.
but Sullivan, IL he will recall
that incident, cannot truthfully
say he slaughtered MITCHELL
All fear is Mitchell. who IL
running a pub across the ocean,
win read what Sullivan said and
Jump into the big fellow. II he
does he'll whip him sure.
Johns hair is gray now.
Charlie Mitchell and I have had
some long talks, and both OF US
are spending a lot OF time thinking
about meeting out Maker. We
have no time for bitter feelings.
4suliivan always did knock his
lbest frIenda. bat he ought to be
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-04-05

FRESH rRuTr.

FRESH FRUIT.
Apples-Home grown, 7bcV
$3.50.
Grapes-Malaga, $4@5.
/ Lemons+s3.5O@4.
Oranges-New naveis. sac
ESQ.
Pears-Yskima winter S1.75
Grape frult-$3.50 q 3.75.
FRESH VEGETABLES.
Beets-20c doz.; 81 sack.
Brussels sprouts--Sc and &c ID.
California caulifiower - SIG
z.25 crate.
Cabbage u a &c.
Carrots-20c doz.; $1.25 sack.
Celery-SOc doz.; SAC 40.
Horse radish loo Id.
I4ettuce-35 q 40c doz.
Onions-s1.50 91.65 cwt
Green on.ons-20c doz.
Oyster plant-.20c dozen.
Parsley-30c dc3.
Parsnips-$1 90 LIS sack.
Potatoes - Yakima, $160 ID;
ton; home grown, SIS OF.
Sweet potatoes-$2.75.
RadisheS-2Uc doz.
Rhubarb-7@ SC h.: S1.75
crate.
Rutabagas-s1 sack.
Hubbard SQUASH Ice lb.
EGGS.
Washington ranch, "a a 25c.
bUTrER.
Washington creamery, 37c.
Eastern, 30@31c; best storage,
94@35c.
MEATS AAe Po'J1-THY.
Hens and springs, 10000;
ducks. Ice; geese, 1Sc; turkeys.
zoe, live weight.
Fresh Meats-Cow beef, 90 |
9bc; steer, beef, 10@10kc;
wethers. 12h @1Skc; po'H
trimmed, 16c; veal, 13c.
Mutton--12 @1Shc.
Hogs-14c.
WHEAT.
IIICtb tPttSC sN hiilcFb LUZ |
wheat; club, 81; bluestem, SIG |
$10S; red, 99c; forty fold, $1.OS.
LIVESTOCK
Prices offered Dy packing mouse.
fo9 live stock: Steers, y % &c;
cows. Az q SC; heifers, 5@5kc;
Hogs, 10c. Sheep-Ewes, 6Bc;
wethers. &c: lambs. INC.
FISH.
Halibut cheekc &c; fall SAL
mon, SC; true cod. 4c; lin cod, Sc;
halibut, lie; herring, 4c; perch,
&c; founders, 1e; CSiumbia river
smelt, &c; Sound smell, &c; Ger
man carp, Sc; rock cod. 1870;
salmon trout, 1Sc; oysters, sack,
1918; gal... $3.50; clans, $2.25
sack; shrimps. 12Mc h.; crabs,
$3.50 a $50; kippered salmon,
/ &c; steelhead salmon, lac; 'tur-
geon, 15c; Columbia river shad,
Columbia river shad, 10c; stiD-
10c; red snapper, 8.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-04-05
TOOK WHISKY
WHEN FIGHTING

1t was not uncommon for
pugilists to drink whisky and
become intoxicated during a
long fight, in the early days.
There was a time when train
ers refused their men a drink
for weeks, but would give
them all they wanted in the
ring.
Sullivan drank lemonade
when fighting Kilrain, who
was drinking whisky and
must have consumed a quart
during the fight Sullivan be-
came i'll in the fifteenth
round and whisky saved him,
for when he took a drink his
stomach revolted and yomit-
ing saved him.
TIP WRIGHT.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-04-05
Garry Hermann Writes
of Great National Game

chairman national seball
written four articles Daily Times.
his tells how the the lots and the
the and they from the
semi-profeonal teams into organized baseball. "
his article Hermann minor leaguer
who hope into fast and his advice experience
baseball is such that ball profit
by it.
clean, healthy sport and
ball it is pacticed In the
National league
wonderful is the interest in the
quoting He tells the salaries paid players
and the attendance figures for the past nine years X
what Garry Hermann has to
succeeding with
nterest.-Editor. -..a.g e95.E
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-04-05

I asked the boss what conf
dence meant, and he said conf
dence was the stuff that kills
panics and restores nerves. And
he said that confidence was some
times better than judgment, be-
cause you might be shy on judg-
ment as regards political parties,
for instance, but if you had con-
fidence in the candidates you
couldn't very well lose out. Take
it in hats. If you've got a hat
coming to you on the late un-
pleasantness, come to us for 1t and
you show both judgment and well
placed confidence. If you lost
out, bring your friend here and
let him pick out his sky-piece and
you win-his eternal confidence.
Some men never buy hat be-
low five plunks, but we measure
up to your hat standard, be it
$3.50, $500, $500, $500 or $500
or even higher. So off with the
old hat; on with the new.
WILLIE, with
KLOPFENSTEIN q CONRAD
1922 Pacific ave.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-04-05
ODDS FAVOR
POWELL
(By United Press Leased Wire,

(By United Press Leased Wire.l
OAKLAND. CAL. April g.
With the Memsic-Powell scheduled
15-round battle before the Oak
land wheelmen's club but one day
on. Powell is reigning favorite
with the odds at 10 to 8. Both
lightweights have been pounding
away at their training stunts and
are pronounced fit for gruellins
battle.
AS they are to fight at catch
weights. Memsic will have the al.
vantage as far as beef" is con-
cerned. Powell, however, is look
ed upon as much more scientific
and for this reason was made
favorite.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-04-05

One of the tallest men in base
ball is Troy, Philadelphia re-
Icruit. One day a guest at Piney
Woods Inn, where the Phillies
stopped, walked up to the pitcher,
who tsands six feet five. and
asked him to see how high he
could stretch.
Troy was accommodating He
backed against a door and reached
upward, while the guest, who
stood about five feet one, tried to
do the same. His finger tips were
about two feet below Troy's.
81 think / had better get chair
to stand on" said the inquisitive
one.
Eyes" drawled Troy, that
wouldn't be a bad idea"
The little man brought a chair
and stood on it.
Are you sure you can reach
now" asked Troy
"Oh, yes," said the man with
the tape measure.
Then Troy let out another half
foot and the little man gasped.
Someone suggested he get step
ladder, but Mcbride climbed onto
the chair and marked the spot
where Troy's fingers touched the
door. The measurement showed
100 IL inches, or eight feet four
and a half inches.
Troy was then measured from
finger tip to finger tip and his
reach showed 70 inches. Here
after the little man will fight shy
of six-footers.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-04-05
CADETS RETURN
FROM hike

Twenty-four High school lads In
the cadet corps returned from
their hike to Des Moines yesterday
afternoon. They started Friday
afternoon and had all sorts CT
experiences, saddest of which was
the loss of the commissary wager.
Had 1t not been for a friendly
grocery store there would have
been several cases of starvation.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-04-05
MANY DOGS ARE
BEING ENTERED

Entries are arriving daily FOR
the bench show to be given in
Tacoma April 1928. The sue
cess of the show last year has
stimulated much interest and this
years event promise to be bigger
than the firt one.
Dogs are coming from all over
the Northwest. and California
even is expected to contribute sew
eraI considered above the stand
ard.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-04-05
SCHOOLS TO
ARRANGE SCHEDULE

A meeting has been called for
tonight to be held at the Y. NJ. C..
"A. building to which all Sunday
schools are invited to send repre-
sentatives and arrangements for
forming the Sunday School Base
ball league will be made. The
meeting will be called at 1890
and two delegates from each
church are expected to attend.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-04-05
'TODA YS SPORTING NEWS
TIP Wright S
COLUMN
BY Tip Wright.

How much will punches be
worth In the big Tight?
The stake, $101.000 and the
picture receipts. which have be IN
estimated at 100000 for each
mans share. mean that the fight
ers will realize jointly $1,1O1,000,
providing of course the pictures
bring as much as they are expect
ed to.
Suppose one of the men lands
a knock out blow with the FRS.
punch. No man would have made
money so fast as he in all the
worlds history.
Or suppose the fight goes fine
unexpected distance of As rounds.
In this event the value per punch
void be greatly reduced. But the
fight has been narrowed to Is
rounds by men who should be ex-
perts IL experience is worth any
thing.
Then comes the question. how
many blows will be struck per
round? No one can answer this
question. The fighters couldn't
begin to give an estimate. John
son has won most of his fights by
putting up a defensive battle,
beating men as they came to him.
Jim Jeffries has made his OPP
ponents bring the fight to him,
and with his peculiar crouch,
adopted as the result of Tommy
Ryan's teaching, he was hard 10
reach. Either Jeffries or Johnson
will have to overcome the waiting
tendency when they meet, and l
believe Jeffries will force the
With his wonderful left hand
Jeffries, II he RECEIVERS his juc5-
ment of distance. his sharpshoo:-
er's eye, will take the lead unless
l am much mistaken.
Suppose, for argument, Jeffries
lands four solid blows per rouni,
and Johnson, whose boxing abil-
ity no one questions, is able to
counter blow for blow, lands an
other four.
This estimate does not include
the number of blows that land
or fail to get to vital
points. In Is rounds each man
would land 60 punches, a total OF
100. Jeffries, perhaps, can de-
liver thousand-pound blow. IL
set, but in the rapid action of
battle he will have but small
chance to get set, especially with
a man like Johnson, who, unless
he changes his entire plan of cam
paign, will refuse to carry the
fight to JEFF.
1t is probable that with his
right hand Johnson can punch just
as hard as Jeffries can with ais
left. 1t is this right hand, used
for an uppercut, that has won
battles.
Let either of these men land
their favorite punch on a vital spot
at anything like their full strength
and the money is as good as
Suppose Jeffries in the course of
Is rounds lands so punches of
varying weight or Johnson lands
the same number, and the last
blow brings the knock out FOR
which this enormous sum is offer
ed. The winner will receive for
each punch s1.262.50 per punch
as his share of the stake mon ey,
and on top of this must be added
the estimated value of the moving
picture money. which will De
worth $S,333.33. making the TO-
tai value of each wallop $685..
It's worth being punched for,
isn't it?
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-04-05
The Base Ball Primer
No. 3
The Parsonn

Who is the Amiable oo,d
Party?
Who. bless me. it's Our Min
lister.
And Is he Luke Warm Prop
osition, when the home team
Favor-ite knocks a three-bagger?
May, Nay. Rollo. he is not. He is
the genuine Tabasco stun and
maybe his expressions OF approval
are-ah---a trihe mild. but mis-
take mott
For the pastor is Right Thers.
IL we were to rattle the skeie-
ton tfiguratively speaking, Of
coHrse) we might let you in on
Il. that Rev. AR. Thirdly was the
originator OF the Spit Bail at the
Theological.
watch for the Minister Fan
he's always right there IN Row o..
More Anon.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-04-05
BOYS WALK TO LAKE

Physical Director Sexsmith of
the Y. M. c. A. took a squad OF
80 juniors In the Y. M. c. A. f.r
a march to American lake yestef-
day. A dozen of the lads took
a cool plunge in the water but
did not swim far.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-04-05

PARIS. April 5.-The bathman
is abroad again. For quite while
many Parisians had to go bath
less because his wagon could not
get through the flooded or sunken
streets.
Many Paris houses have NO
bath rooms, and the public bath
man has become quite an institu-
ton. For a few pennies anyone
who thinks he needs bath can
enjoy the luxury Of nice tub
right in his parlor IL he so elects.
The public bather also provides
the hot water.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-04-05
MOTORCYCLE CLUB
HAS Is MEMBERS

The newly organized Tacoma
Motorcycle club now has 2S msm-
bers and 1t expects to have so n
a couple of weeks. A meeting
was held last night and another
will be held May 2 at 1888 Com
merce street.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-04-05
oRvILLE OVERALL.

NEW ORLEANS. April 5.--Or-
willie Overall, the great Cub pitch
Ter. is going like a prairie fire this
spring. The climate of New Or
leans seems to agree with him
perfectly and the way he has been
bending the ball across the plate
lis a source of pleasure to Mana
ger Chance and Owner Murphy.
The Times photographer caught
Overall in a position few pitchers
are snapped at-extended at full
length, just before he started to
deliver the ball to the batter.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-04-05
FORMER VARSITY
C0xSWA|N IS DEAD

Everett Thompson. former cox
swain OF the University of Wash
ington crew, died last Friday at
Inliaetta, Idaho, at the home of
his uncle. where he had gone to
recuperate from an attack of ty-
phoid fever and Bright's disease.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-04-05
RUDE WADDELL
WEEDS AGAIN

(By United Press Leased Wire
ST. LOUIS, April 5.-George
Edward Waddell, pitcher for the
st. Louis Americans, and Miss
Mcguire, of Hattiesburg, Mass,
were married here last night.
Waddell recently obtained a di-
yorce from his first wife, Boston
woman.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-04-05
MINISTERS SEEK TO
PREVENT BIG FIGHT

(By United Press Leased Wire.)
OAKLAND. Cal, April 5.-The
Oakland Methodist Ministers as
ISOLATION, which is actively oppos-
ing the Jeffries-Johnson fight at
Maryville, has sent copies of reso-
buttons to Governor Gillett re-
questing him to use his influence
In preventing the proposed battle.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-04-05
billboard MEN ARRESTED.

s. A. Chapel and q. A. Umble
we're arrested yesterday on COM
plant Of the building inspector
charged with placing a signboard
On top of a frame building ut
Seventeenth and Jefferson avenue
without q permit. They will APP
pear in court today.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-04-05

thinking of higher things than un-
pleasant stories. III he does insist
upon telling lies about our fights,
however, I'll fight him."
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-04-05

Hoodoo, skidoo, % for you. 80
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-04-05

Give No. Is q chance. sss
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1910-03-05

FREDERICK WENEHNAD6kR
To the reading public Frederick
WeYerhausef has long been known
as the lumber king. and he Ii n
lumber king. too. for his timber IN.
tereata are probably larger than
those ~ any other American Miles
and miles ~ forest lands are under
the control Of his timber trust.
hundreds Of sawmiila dot the great
Northwest. cutting up thousands OF
trees daily to increase the fortune
Of WeyerhauBer. already az large
II not larger than John D. Rookie.
fellef's
Now II seems that Weyerhauaer
has been banking king. too. Il
fact which has until recently es
capped the public eye II Was only
when the banking king. erstwhile
lumber king. began reBiening from
the Northwest banks that Il was
learned that he Was Interested IN
nearly ~ banking Institutions Of
the West Mr. Weyerhauaer start.
ed reslguing from the diract0rates
~ his banks last fall when he cela.
hrated bis 18th birthday, and he
atiil holds 30 bank directorships.
which he proposes 10 unload I'm.
mediately, after which be expects
20 retire, and amuae himself with
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1910-03-05
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.


Poets are born and sometimes
they are paid
All things come 10 those uho wait
on themselves
The longer the engagement the
shorter the married life.
The proper time 10 do what you
don't want 20 do IL BY and by.
TIA dead easy 10 convince a man
that he's smarter thar you are
Some women seem 20 be ashamed
20 eat real food IN public dlnlne
place
Among other things that ffil %
imprraa a man favoFably are bis
wlfe's relatives
A fool and his money are aoon
parted. bat it's different with ! lar
boy and = warm bed.
No. Aionxo. the family tree of
The acruhlady isn't necessarily a
scrub oak.
The wise man goes on 4 attn
hunt for opportunity. instead "A
waiting for II 20 call
An Ohio man fell and broks his
neck the day before hia wedaing
vas scheduled to take place. Some
men are born lucky
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1910-03-05
REFLECTIONS or A BACHELOR

Even crazy man would have
more sense than 20 read the novels
women like
For anybody to appreciate advice
he always has to pay more for Il
than TIA worth
The worst Of getting out of trou.
bic II there's 80 much more 10 get
right into again
The reason a man wants 10 pay
moro for his cigars than be can M
ford Is so he can say he paid attn
more for them
The clearer ideas Of religion a
man can get out of the Bible the
more he can muddle them listening
% sermons
Anyhow. II women didn't have to
stand husbands Il would be some.
thing worse
a woman never goes 90 q railroad
ticket window without hoping It
might happen Ia be the day for bar.
gain sales New York Press