The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1910-11-23


is credited 10 Reginald Vanderbilt.
4 lady said TO MTs. Vanderbilt
al one OF the comet suppers" a.
the Plaza:
There are three Van TTiller
girls"
Are they all three still unmar-
ried." NJ. Vanderbilt. asked.
Yes, said the lay They're
rich and pretty, too. lis odd they
don't go Off"
Isn't it, said Mr.. Vanderbilt
They use enough powder. Wash
ington star.
The man who is always giving ad-
vice saIntered up the stree; and
found the tat;ered hobo sitting Oh
the curb.
My good man." began the for
rner. why are you idling your time
Ike this: Don't you know the world
owes you a living"
That so?' responded the hObo,
nonchalantiy. We'll, guess bet
ter call up a collection agency and
gef them 10 collect II for me-
But this is serious, my man.
You deserve something in this
world
Sure, boss, the last Judge ran
up against said / deserved six
months"
Tut. Tut! Don't be facetious.
Why, you could rise up in the world
and wear broadclOth."
Thanks, hut am wearing dat
now, boss. Dis suit Is so broad it Is
three sizes too big for me-
Well, what in the dickens are
you sitting on the Grub for, any
way?"
ITO curb my temper, boss. To
curb my temper when such smart
alecks as you ask foolish questions" "
Chicago News.
You don't seem to be taking Miss
Ka F1ippe around any more used
/ TO see you with her al the theatre
on every opening night"
no, I've given her up
! What was the trouble?"
She seemed to bereve in the
open Eoor policy. got so that /
used to find three or four other
fellows there every time I called.
Chicago Record-Herald
In negro households, especially in
communities where negroes form a
large portion of the population, IT
frequently happens that the woman
is the head OF the family, being not
only the breadwinner but also the
disciplinarian, and in that capacity
on occasions she regards her puta-
tive lord and master as subject TO
her will. This, at least, was the
assumption OF the colored woman
who was party to a little scene
enacted in the office of a justice OF
the peace.
A man had been arrested on the
charge of beating and cruelty mis-
using his wife After hearing the
charge against the prisoner, the Jus
tice turned to the first witness.
Madam" he said If this man
were your husband and had given
you a beating, would you call IN the
police?"
The woman addressed, a veritable
Amazon In size and aggressiveness,
turned a smiling countenance toward
the justice and answered:
mo, jedge: If he was NAH aus
ban, an he treated me LAX he did
'is wife, All wouldn't call no plice.
man. No, sab, Aid call de under
taker. Youth Companion.
A Denver society girl was on; on
ranch yesterday. Upon her re-
turn her mother asked If she had
seen any little chickens out there
NO" replied the girl, the wom-
an told me none had been Matched
yet, but that she had four hens
seated. Denver Post.
Apropos OF a notorious smuggling
case. New York reporter said TO
Collector Loeb:
Your law bears too harshly on
purchases made for personal use If
l buy my wife, for example, q $4,000
sable stole, why should be COM
PEELED TO pay the government 81 900
on it?"
Mr.. Loeb smiled.
you pay" he said, simply as a
matter Of duty."-Cincinnati Enquir-
er.
| Tw0 Ir-ishmen u-era in city hank