The Holbrook news., 1910-06-10
H @'zkSEES Ah5sas1@E EF1N
"~N~~O~O~

wind, wrote little boy ln hlS
 composition at school. "is air when it
 gets in hurry
 T never worry or hurry" What
 department of the government service
 are you in?"-Buffalo Express.
 Miss Prim-I want a husband who
 will be easily pleased. Miss Crouch
 That's the kind you'll get.-Life.
 Mrs. Benham-You have torn my train! Benham-Thats all right; your your train is long enough to be in two sections.-Judge.
 Howard-Bridget, did my wife come in few moments ago? Bridget-No, sir. That's the parrot you hear a-hol- lerin'. .-Harper's Bazar
 Doctor, how do you account for the existence of rheumatism?" "The mind, ny dear. evolved the disease to fit the word. d."-Chicago Tribune.
 Which is the harder to write. verse or jokes?" Verse comes easier" re- piled the press humorist. You have to have an idea for joke"
 Shopman (to boy who has asked for a penn'orth of pills )-Do you want them in a box? Boy-Yuss, O course Think I'm goin' to roll 'em home?- Punch.
 Were you ever in love?" asked the sweet young thing. "No." replied ths bachelor, but you can't mention any other fashionable disease that I have not had"
 Teacher-Jimmy, you look very pale this morning. Are you ill? Jimmy No. na'am. Ma washed my face this morning herself. - Woman's Home Companion.
 Farmer Cat the grindstone)- Well, why don't yer turn? City Nephew Nix! Ye don't fool me ag'in. When ever I turn, ye go and bear down with the axi-Life
 How shall I break the news to my parents that I have failed in my ex- ams? Merely telegraph them: 'Ex- animation over. Nothing newl'"- Fliegende Blaetter.
 There's a masked man at the back door," Horrors, Is ne after my dia- monds?" No, madam. He only wants to borrow can of gasoline. Louis vile Courier Journal
 Why don't you get an automobile?' T don't know whether I could manage one or not" "A poor argument. You took the same chance, didn't you, when you acquired a wife?"
 The Poet-Poetry should be written on one side of the paper, shouldn't it? The Editor-That depends on the poetry: lots of it, shouldn't be written on either de.-Philadelphia Record
 "A man ought to be good mechan- ic in order to get satisfactory results from an automobile" Yes" answered MT. .lChuggins, but It's still better to be a good fnancier. er."-Washingto Star.
 Poets Wife-My husband read this poem at a public celebration before thousands of people. Alas, it was the last poem he ever wrote. Publisher Did they lynch him or shoot him?- Leslie's Weekly.
 Ever been locked up?" demanded counsel. T have been," admitted the witness. Aha. And what had you been doing to get yourself locked up% "I had been doing jury duty."-Louis- vile Courier-Journal.
 Miss Elder-The idea of his pretend ing that my hair was gray. Miss Pep perry - Ridiculous, Miss Elder Wasn't it, though? Miss Peppery- Yes, just as if you'd buy gray hair!- Catholic Standard and Times.
 The Doctor-Mrs. Murphy, you must be at your husbands side continuous ly. as you will need to hand him some thing every lite while Mrs. Murphy .Niver, doctor, Fur be it from me to hit man whin he's down,-Puck.
 T thought ordered quail." Oats quail. suh." Quail nothing! That's Tt was chicken, sub. but 1t seed me a-comin'" What has that to do with it?'' De sight of a culIud Dussol always makes a chicken quail, ,uh!"
 Father-Bobby, I'm surprised to see rou crying because a bee stung you. Brace up and act like man. Bobby Yves; an then y-youd gimme a ickin' Y-you told me w-what you'd To to me if you e-ever heard me -usin' that kind of Language.
 How can I tell, asked the GUS omer, whether I am getting tender neat or not?" There's only one sure way, ma'am," said the butcher, an hats by eatin' of it." But I have to luy it before I can do that" ''Yes'm; hats the beauty of the prescription" Guardian-You say you are going to larry a man Tn order to reform him. hat is very noble of VOL May I ask -ho 1t is? Ward-It's MT. Ooloyrd. uardian-Indeed? I wasn't aware nat he had any bad habits. Ward es His friends say that he is be- ,ming quite miserly.-London Sketch. Little boy" asks the well-meaning eformer, "is that your mamma ever