The Alaska citizen., 1910-09-19
Home Dis Naek

hat stopped smoking Tor der pur- pose of saving money.
 Money vas great idea. Looey.
 Money vas our best friend vile ye haf it. Looey. und ven ve aind got ii dot is ware friendship ceases, alretty.
 Always remempcr. Looey, dot dol ar dropped in de- muscilagc bottle vas worth two dollars dropped on der races.
 When you feel der temptation- ment vas strong upon you to stop saving your money und you haf a wild desire to plunge your right hand into your pocket book und spend sefenty cents for round of drinks vich aiu'd on you, dink about Ghay Pierp Morgan and freeze up
 Chay Pierp spent seferal years growing up. und den he walked into Wall street
 He could haf rode into Wall street but der fare vas eggspensive in dose days, init no rebate for der round trip.
 Ven Chay Pierp walked into der street der scene beggars supscrip. ton.
 Two strangers made an approach to Chay Pierp. Firmness vas wrote on deir faces. Deir faces vas so dirty dot a cubble of larger words could be wrote dare also.
 Cheer up!" set vun of der stran- gers. Cherries was ripe. Five cents bag!"
 Go away" set Chay Pierp. "I never eat cherries. Dey bite me inyardly."
 Der lesson dis teaches us is dot ve cannot combine pitzness und pleasure. Chay Pierp liked der cher rios und dot vas pleasure, but ven dey bite you inyardly, dot vas pitz- ness vich k followed by doctors ] bill
 Der udder stranger drew near to Chay Pierp und init low, quick, fnsinuating patetic, pleading voice, he set:
 Apples, Fresh apples! siss for nickel.'
 Dit you say sigs apples for a nickel?" set Chay Picrp.
 "I did" said der stranger, init der cggspression of hope chumping wild ly ofcr his face.
 Let me see." set Chay Pierp, "sigs for a nickel dot is five for four cents, four for three cents. three fo" two cents, two for vun cent, Vun for nuddings gif me vun,'
 It was proofed at der inquest dot der stranger died cheering loudly 1 for his belofed Italy.
 Anyway. dot vas der fairst money Ghay Pierp saved on Wall street, und it should teach you der lesson, Looey, dot Fortune eggspcct Us to be sidding on der hatrack in der hall, ready to open der front door ven she rings der bell.
 Rcmemper, Iooey, nuddings in der world stays insulted so long as ne glected opportunity
 Speaking abouid neglected oppor- tunities, did you know il dot day behind last Wednesday, your Uncle Max hat q home canning on der Kais- CT Wilhelm der Grocer from a trip to Chermany? Uncle Max enChoyed der trip inn meuscfully init der eggsception of getting through der Custom House here, yich made his pulse beat fast CT den usuality.
 Uncle Max says it is much easier for a camel to go through a needle bath den it is for a chentleman to bring five dollars worth of brickle- brac from Baden Baden to his cous- in in POrtchester mitouid telling der gufferment all abouid it.
 To my way of linking dis is a goot idea Looey, because vot can a cousin in Portchester do init five dollars worth of brickle-brac from Baden Baden?
 Anyway, Uncle Max told me to der story, und I will relate it to you, Looey.
 Der Stars und Stribes seemed to wave welcome at Uncle Max as he approached der hospital shores of Fire Islant.
 Tt is goot, so goot to breathe vunce more der air of liperty,' set Uncle Max, und ten minutes later der Kaiser Wilhelm der Grocer vas at der dock.
 "Ach, Himmel! how happy I vas to be again ware Freedom reigns," set Uncle Max, as he walked pro foundly down der gangyay plank.
 "Vait."
 Der speaker vas short-set man init thick face und a vide voice
 Uncle Max paled his cheeks.
 Who vas you?"
 'I vas American citizen; leave me pass! eggsclaimed Uncle Max.
 50 vas I,' set der man init der thick face; ''und nudding passes me