Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-12-15
WIT OF The INDIAN
The Dignified Red Man Has a
Keen Sense of Humor.
STORIES OF STANDING BEAR.

Mirror-An Invisible Bridge.
The impression prevails widely tha
ehe Indian lacks the saving sense o.
humor-"that most characteristic O
all American qualities" To the ere
ating and the spreading Of this i'm
preston many recognizable traits OF
Indian character have indisputably
CONFERENCE.-The ancestral pride, hi:
exclusiveness, his gravity of face and
dignity of manner In public
Nevertheless an injustice is done
him, for among no primitive peoples
Is the sense of humor keener or more
spontaneous ana kindly.
Years ago l was conversing with a
group Of children of the Omaha tribe.
They were on their way to reserva-
ton school. and directly in their path
lay swamp an eighth of u mile
wide, and straight through this they
were required to wade twice day.
TT is too bad" l remarked. Can
you not go around the swamp? Your
feet will be wet and you viii be un-
comfortable and possibly ILL.,"
"Oh," cried girl Of about twelve
years, her dark eyes dancing with
merriment, 1--WE walk over the $1,000
bridge"
They all laughed at this. What
could it mean? / saw no bridge; there
was no bridge to be seen. 1t made
them merry to see me mystified, and
heard them laughing and chatting
as they went through the water and
mud. Afterward l discovered the hu-
NOR in the remark. Some years pre-
vious to that time the government had
appropriated $1,000 to build bridge
over this swamp, but somehow the
money had vanished into somebody's
pocket and the work was not done.
One evening saw a gallant young
brave making his way swiftly over
the prairies Of the Omaha reserve.
He was dressed In all his finery, and
at his side dangled a small mirror
Manifestly he was an ardent lover
This I should have surmised from his
dress and eager haste, even If / had
not known him. As he was q friend
of mine. had inside information of
his hopes and purposes; also / ven
tured to stop him for a moment, pre-
cious as knew him time to be.
THAT mirror at your SIDE" 1 re-
marked, lis to give opportunity for
Prairie Flower to discover how lovely
she is, is 1t not?' He considered a
moment, and then, with a twinkfing
eye, he replied:
mo. Maybe so she will talk too
much to me, and then 1 will look into
my mirror to see how tired / am"
This certainly was the humor Of alb
surdity.
Examples of Standing Bears humor
I could give almost without number.
During the trial of his case before
Judge Dundy the contention OF the
government attorney was that an In
dian is not 4 person within the mean
ing Of the law. This puzzled the old
chief greatly. 1t also amused him.
One day at my table be was vigor-
ously plying a knife and fork when
he paused in his eating, lift
ed up his hands, and, a humorous
smile lighting up his noble, storm
SCARED face, he remarked: ''The attor-
neys say l am not a person. But / |
can use knife and fork. Does a bear |
10 that? If he, the attorney, is a per-
son / am one also We both eat with |
knives and forks. Indeed, l think |
,an use them faster than he can. II
be wants to race me eating l am
ready" We all laughed at this. When
We were quiet Standing Bear added,
That is, will run an eating race
With the attorney If he will pay for
he beefsteak."
The first public address Standing
Bear ever made was given in my
hurch. In the course Of 1t while be
vas pleading for assistance he address
d various classes of people present.
he men, the women, the clergy, the
BUSINESS men, the children. When he
vas pleading with the women he said:
I appeal to you because you are brave
nd patient. Whenever you have any
hing hard to do you never rest until
IS done" This was a gallant senti-
nent worthy Of a chief But Frank
a Flesche, who was interpreting, rem
cred the sentence thus: You women
re patient When there Is anything
ard to be done we men let you do it."
his was so true to Indian custom
hat the audience laughed.
Standing Bear was puzzled As he
TODD silent a moment wondering what
Mistake he had made Bright Eyes. the
eautiful Omaha maiden, stepped for
rard anl said, MY brother Frank
as made a mistake in interpreting the
hiefs thought" Then she gave the
roper rendering.
The Chicago papers took liberties
nth Standing Bears name, one Of
hem referring TO him constantly as
Ipright Bruin. When this was ex-
lained to the chief he took the'matter
-ith great good nature.
what does it matterl" he remarked,
Is face beaming. Il am all tied up
nth names. / am ike a pony tangled
] his lariat Father Hamilton, the
'resbytsrian, calls me elder. The |
ptseopaiian clergyman calls me ward
q. For ! am an o11eer IN the little
1uFch 10 our village. where both these
Dod men preach And now the papers
~ me-vbat b TT Yes, Bruin- No
after. The Judge IN Omaha says /