The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1910-07-05
BOB BURDETTE
TALKS OF TRIP
Famous Humorist-PreaChe Stops
in Honolulu on His Way
Home.
fFrom saturday.. AavertIser.l

With all his old humorous traits and
willingness to talk and entertain,
Robert j. Burdette, of Los Angeles and
all the rest of the great American re.
public, arrived in Honolulu yesterday,
on his way home after tour of the
Orient with Mrs. Burdette. Their pres
ent visit win last only one day, as they
will resume their journey home at
eleven o'clock this morning, when the
T. X. X. Chiyo Maru sails for San
Francisco.
ooh, like the woman with Cooks
thirty day ound-the.world-and return
ticket, we've been everywhere and seen
everything and met everybody" said
Doctor Burdette upon coming ashore.
"Dined with the Dardanelles in Con-
stantinople, met the Wildmans in Bor-
neo and ran across the Straights at
Formosa, learned to speak gum Arabic
in Cairo and broken China in Shanghai.
Travelled by steamship, steamboat, junk
and sampan, riksha, chair and donkey,
and when the fare was too high, walk.
ed. Slept all day in day coaches and
tossed and kicked all night, wide awake
in sleeping cars
'Quarreled with quarantines and
eussed the customhouses. Bought an
tiques and rare old curios, like patri-
otic Americans, to support the home in
dustries of Pittsburg and the Poultney
marble works. Bought clothes we'il
wear home and give to the poor-God
help the poor-the day after we reach
the land where real tailors make
real clothes that give fits instead of
spasms. Checked off the people we met
everywhere, just as we do at home
rich man, poor man, beggar man, thief
the successful ones at the head and
foot, and the failures in the middle.
Same old thing. Saw people starv-
ing and saw gluttons Quitting. Met
people who work all the time and have
nothing, and other people who work
none of the time and have everything.
Met gentlemen and bounders, ladies
and er-imitations, real men and duff
ers, genuine women and stage-paste, on
the same trip.
SCOT misinformed by wise men who
thought they knew it all, and similarly
deceived by candid liars who made it
all up as they went along, Met few
fools adding to their stock of ignorance
| by the broadening influence of travel,
which makes folly thinner as it makes
broader. Looked at some people by
the hour, wondering what in the name
of time they travelled for, Looked at
other people on the same boat and won
dered what in creation they ever went
home for Had good times, bad times,
| glad times, sorry times; sunny days and
| stormy days; ate what we could get;
slept where we had to; went where the
I ticket called for; got off the train when
we We're told; had the proper thrills
when the guide indicated the place;
visited the missions and saw the geisha
dance; went to church and the theater;
ate, drank, slept; got up, washed and
went to bed, as the boys diary runs,
and wondered where we had seen all
these people and all these things before.
Remembered it was at home, and con-
cluded to go back there, where we could
see them all at greater leisure, less ex-
pense,. in better company, finer climate,
cleaner towns and in greater variety.
"Why do people travel7 Oh, just to
see what becomes of the things we
manufacture and can't sell at home
and to find out where our ever increas-
ing population comes from.
cit Is nice to get home. IT'S nice to
sit here on the beautiful lanai for a
day or two before we get up and go
into the house. We are well and happy,
and we will carry on to the rest of the
United States a memory of our citizen
ship in Honolulu as lasting as graft
tude; a pleasant memory, that will keep
its fragrance like sandalwood."