Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1910-04-15
OLD EACLIS | HUMOR
The Brand of Laugh Extractors
Used Two Ger -urieS Ago.
IN JOE MILLER JEST BOOK"

A Selection of Speei men Jokes From
the Venerable Volume That Mark
Twain Was Moved 20 Call the Alpha
and Omega of Detected Humor.
The Joe Miller lest Book"-It is
famous. Mark Twain mentions IL as
the alpha and omega of detected HUI
NOR. II is unrivaleI, Incompatible.
apart. Further. it is English very
English.
Possibly the latter phenomenon is re-
sponsible for the difficulty Searcher
had in finding an unreviSed copy Aft
er an afternoon of search second
hand but scarcely worn copy finally
was discovered in little bookstore.
The bookseller eyed the buyer curious
ly. but with some awe. and seemed
very glad to get rid OF il for - cents.
Twenty-Five cents! How instantly
reminiscent of one of the Joe Miller
jokes-beg pardon, jests:
THE LIGHT SUBJECT.
The government, having threatened TO
proceed vigorously against those who re-
fused to pay assessed taxes. offered 10
them a remission of one-fourth. This at
least" said one sufferer. may be called
giving them some quart err"
You can get that off in your very
next after dinner speech. You can put
a little accent on one fourth and quar-
ter and get quite as loud Il laugh.
Second specimen dt must be remem-
bered that the jest book was compiled
in the early part OF the eighteenth
century, when there were librarians;
therefore the jeStS that aren't blamed
on lords are mostly charged to writ
ersl:
A DIFFERENCE
Jerrold one day met a Scotch gentleman
whose name was Leitoh. who explained
that he was the popular cartoonist
John Leech. I'm ava re of that" said
Jerrold. You're the Scotchman with the
itch in your name"
There! Just think of the triumph with
which Mr.. Jerrold later related that quip
to his friends.
Specimen:
THE CONNOI SSEUR.
person to whom the curiosities build
ings ETC., I'm oxford were shown one very
hot day was asked by his companion IL
he would see the remainder of the univer-
sity. My dear sir" replied the connois-
seur. Il am stone blind already"
Whether the friend expired in
spasms OF mirth or subsequently was
hanged for mayhem the Jest book
doesn't say
The wit of the Irisl is called in too.
Specimen:
A SPRlG OF 81 iLLALAu
A, fellow on the quay thinking TO quiz
a poor lrishman. asked aim. How do the
afne aanr
who happened TO have a shilIalah in his
hand. answered cleverl-: "Oh they eat
very well, my jewel, Would you like 20
taste the stalk?'' And. knocking the in
Quirer down. he coolly talked on.
Probably 1t was good thing he
Knocked him down fist.
Turning To the middle of the book
there are 400 paSes-Joe breaks into
verse:
ON THE LATIN GERUNDS.
V~nen Dido mourned. .Aeneas would not
come.
She wept in silence and was Di-Do-Dumb.
Classicl
Here's
a BAD END
II was told of Je<yll that one OF his
friends. a brewer. had been drowned in
his own vat 'Ah." he exclaimed. float
AAo IA Ills OWN WaleIy
Right of the bat that
There's little Johnny also. He drops
In during jest:
THE SEASoH-INGs.
Come here. Johnny. and tell me what
the four seasons are"
Young Prodigy-Peppor. salt. mustard
and vinegar.
Here's q little shot at politics and
the peer system:
EPIGRAM
con Alderman Woods being afraid to
pledge himself to even the principles he
has always professedD
Sure In the house he'll do but little good
Who lets - dare not" wait upon 81
Wood" q would).
Oh, listen! Talk about your origi-
nality:
A SHORT JOURNEY.
POUNDS. fellow!" exclaimed a choleric
old gentleman to very phlegmatic, mat
ter OF fact person. II shall go out OF my
wits."
well. you won't have far to CO." said
the phlegmatic man.
Yes. and here's small ebullltion
from a dramatist:
OLD FRIENDS.
Coleman. the dramatist. was asked II
the wit. Hook and eye are old associ-
ates."
Hook was not present at the time.
The courts also come through with
a few gems:
NEW RELATIONSHIP
stranger to law courts, hearing q
Judge call a sergeant brother" expressed
his surprise. "Oh." said one of the by
ISLANDERS. they are brol hers brothers in
law"
And speaking of repartee:
A SHUFFLING ANSWER
Two Oxonians dining together. one OF
them noticed a grease spot on the neck
cloth OF his companion and said. az see
you are a Grecian."
"Pooh!' said the other. THAT is far
fetched"
No. indeed" said the wit; 1T made 1t
on the spot"
Right back at him. you observe.
or course there are some better ones,
but there are also some that are worse.
Taken as whole. they don't add any
laurcls to the English reputation for
humor nor detract any from the opin-
Ion OF Mark Twain kansas City