Smyrna times., 1910-08-24
A StupendOuS
~ ~ Hoax

had anticipated a different express
sion.
"When l went to my bed last
night, !" he began in scornful tones.
81 found brushes and sponges and
other articles in it. l also found the
legs of my pajamas trousers had
been sewed up. Expecting some
such attentions, l was on the lookout
for them.
We all tried to laugh, but there
was a curious hollow ring in the
cackles we produced.
"They're the sort of tricks kids
play on each other" Armitage con-
tinued cOntemptuously. II ex-
pected something more elaborate
from you chaps
We rather resented this tone from
a newcomer to Colonel Westover's
Military Academy, but Armitage
was the sort of chap who generally
takes the lead wherever he is.
He was only gong in the army for
the fun of the thing and he did not
care whether be passed or failed.
His father was John Armitage of
Birmingham, the millionaire hard
ware manufacturer Dick Armitage
had pots of money, his father max
ing him a princely allowance.
"Now, if you chaps want to have
practical joke" Armitage said,
"why not have something worth
having? I've got an idea. l thought
of it in bed last night ana I'll tell
you about it after breakfast"
Just then the notes of a bugle
were heard, and, according to stand
ing orders we proceeded to break
fast. Colonel Westover' standing
orders were of quaint description,
his students always being referred
to as "the squad" and bugIe call
always preceded each item in the
dav's program.
The Colonel was a fussy, apo
plectic old boy of the regular comic
paper type. His speech was always
short and abrupt. He constantly re-
ferred in a vague and mysterious
manner to his active service when a
young man.
Mr.. Maple was a curious crea-
ture; he belonged to some extraordi-
nary society, and was forever pre-
dieting terrible calamities which
we're to happen to the world in gen.
eral, and to Britain in particular.
1t was Maple whom Dick Armi.
tage had selecled for his victim,
for the reason that Maple haC
fastened on him as being some one
fresh to air his views and predictions
to.
"Well, what's this stupendou:
joke you've got in view, Armitage p
asked Jim Godfrey after breakfast.
Armitage's reply occupied about
20 minutes in the making, wha
time we alternately gasped, chuckle
and gave vent to incredulous com
ments.
We cold hardly sleep that nigh
for excitement, for it was the ev,
of the stupendous hoax. In tn,
early morning we ali assembled il
Armitage's room, and then Armitag,
and l were carefully made up.
Military mUstaches, looking alb
sOlutely natural, adorned our uppe
lips, and few wrinkles painted Oh
our faces gave US a much older ap
pearance. We each donned nev
suits, and eventually made our wa
to Napple's room, walking very up
right.
We entered without ceremony, t
: find the assistant fast asleep on hi
bed, fully dressed, except for his Goa
and waistcoat.
He ought to wake any momen
now," said Armitage, looking a
his watch.
Presently he shook Maple causin
! the latter to grumble sleepily. !
D second shaking made him open hi
eyes, and he lay, staring in sleep
wonder at his visitors.
"Wel,, Maple, old boy, don
yon know us?" cried Armitage
"We're just back from Canada, bee
V released, and thought we'd give tn
old show look up.
Z Maple blinked vacantly at US.
''I'm sorry" he croaked-h
voice was hoarse as a crows, "bu
although you seem familiar, l fail
recognize you
"Well, five years does make
difference / admit, - said Armitag,
"and five such years as Britain hi
= gone through. Surely you rememb,
Armitage? l was with you in 1911
I passed out in May, 1911, and enter'
| the Twenty fourth Hussars in Ju
| of that year. I'm Captain now.
/ Naples lower jaw dropped al
| hesrubbed his eyes.
L "19l1," he muttered. "Wh
/ that's next year"