The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1910-09-01
A VERY NICE
PROFESSOR
By NJ QUAD
Copyright, 1910, by Associated LII.
efary Press.
By M QUAD

When Professor Watson took the
stage at Ellsworth to ride over to Dia-
mondville the innkeepdr liked his looks
and talk He hadn't been in the VII.
iage day when we all liked his looks
and talk. He was little, roly poly
man OF fifty and gave out that he was
professor Of metaphysics IN a New
England college, His age was about
nifty, and he carried smile on his
face that would have pulled crocus
out OF the ground a month ahead OF
time.
In Dlamondville lived the Widow
steadman. She was forty years OLD
ard well OF. She was being courted
by the town constable, who was an
old bachelor. 1t was said they were
engaged, but the arrival Of the very
nice professor wrought a change. In
a week he had made her acquaintance
and was calling on her. In fort
night the nose OF the town constable
was out OF joint. The professor ap-
peared TO be in the best of health, but
he claimed that metaphysics had bro
ken him down and that he had come
TO the village for rest.
The constable was called stupid as an
officer-good hearted. but stupid We
hadn't sized him up correctly as to
the stupid part AS soon as he
discovered that he was being thrown
down he began 20 study the profess
sor He wrote 10 half a dozen col
leges and was told that they had new
er heard OF the man. BY accident he
got hold OF paper that put him on
the right trail. He went up to the
city and had a talk with the police
One June day the stage from the
railroad rolled in. and its cargo con-
sisted Of eleven women. They might
have been said to be OF all ages, sexes
and colors. AS the vehicle halted at
the inn Professor Watson sat on the
veranda. He was put under arrest by
a detective and the constable as he
sat. but he got on his feet and raised
his hat eleven different times TO the
eleven females. Some cried out at
sight of him. some smiled, and some
shed tears. After replacing his hat
the professor shook hands with the
eleven. beginning at the head OF the
line and saying:
MY dear. your name is Hannah, II
I remember. and. though your call is
unexpected, you are nevertheless well
come
Then he took up the case Of Jane,
Betsy. Mary. and so on. Every wo-
man there was his wife, and wife he
had abandoned, and yet he carried
that smile and his nerve right through
IT. He was taken to jail, and the jailer
said he was one Of the incest men he
ever met. The officers had case
against him bigger'n house He had
practiced bigamy for twenty years.
He had married girls, spinsters, wild
ows and old women. One Of the vic
Tins was sixty-fve years old. He had
got money from some Of them, but It
didn't seem as if that was his motive.
As he explained 1t;
4Why, just fell In love, and she
fell in love. and we we're married.
Really, didn't know had married 50
many"
And when the women were asked to
explain they answered:
"Why, he's such a very, very nice
man that we couldn't help it. He's
Just too sweet for anything.
And, would you believe 1t, the Widow
steadman, who would have made the
twelfth. was the first one to send him
bouquet and her sympathies after be
had been locked up!
The professor hadn't gone far aheid.
He had done all his marrying within
radius Of 200 miles. He had made
nice. kind husband while It lasted. He
had painted kitchen floors, washed
dishes and whitewashed cellars Yes,
the officers thought they had him dead
to rights, but they soon learned to the
contrary. Only one woman out OF the
eleven was willing to swear against
the man. The county had the whole
gang on its hands to lodge and board.
The wife who was willing to do 1t
was an old maid and so bony ana
homely az to excite general remark.
For a time she was fierce 70 SEND the
little man to a place where the dogs
couldn't bite him. None OF the ten
others would speak TO her. She was
sent for by the professor When she
bad arrived at the jail, determined
that his cajoIery should not move her,
be held out his arms to her and sald;
4Birdie, you can't find 1t In your
heart TO do It. You are too noble anu
generous If hadn't seen the nobility
If vour character in your face ] should
never have trusted my happiness IN
your keeping IL.
she believed him and fell on ms
shoulder and wept. When the trlai
was at last called not one OF the eieV-
on was complainant. When put on tne
stand as witnesses they were no good.
They perjured themselves, ana they
xvr,ogled and twisted and made an
sorts Of excuses for the man. ana tne
4urv had to strain point to convict
him. he got Il sentence Of three years
and before being taken to prison ne
bod interviews with the eleven III sue
cession. and to each one he said
4Never mind, darling Three years
yin soon pass away, and then we VIII
~ Win each other again. to part never
more