Arizona republican., 1910-04-17
LITTLE JAMES
(The Comments of MT. Taft on the
 Things That Hiss

When President Taft got back to tn White House tn other nte he set | down in the Bioo. Room, an pullin' off i his Boots he seZ to Missus Taft, We never Git too old to have some Fresh Experyunces everyday. l thot I'd been | through it All. a Holdn' down tn Lid | in Different Parts of tn World. I got along all rite with tn Cubians an tn Ffllerpeenoze an tn Heetheens wher- ever been sent, an l been fairly SuX- i essfle a Holdin Down these here Wild Ide Insurgence. but all them tasks was Child's Play compared with tn DoOties of Welcominin' a lot of Suffergits to tn Nashule Capitle.
 You won't never see me Asoomin' tn Roll of Welcomeri in Chief to no 1 more Wimmin whatever their Sex. regret now at my Mother was a Wo- ! man an if I was AgOin' to to enter into tn Marriage Relashun again I'd Hesi- tate a long time before I'd Mary a Woman.
 I'd jist as soon find myself in tn Mist of a Flock of Hissin' Femail Geese as to be in a Herd of Hissin' Femail Suffergits. Tn Hiss of tn Coos is more Muscle to tn Ear. Tn Hiss of tn Asasin's Bullet is more Preferble to tn Noise of Disapprovle of these here Women at wants a voice in tn Roolin of tn Country. They ain't nothin' to compare with the Hiss of a Woman 'cept tn noise at Angry Ser pents make when you don't agree with 'em an can't Consentshusly adopt their Pollycies. or admit their Rite to Sink their Fangs into tn Passerby an fill him full of Dedly PiZen. Nobodyll ever see me in d Snaik den or a SufferSitS Convenshun again. l know now where my F'rend Willyum Watson got his Insperashun to rite his POme tn Wo- man with tn Serpent's Tung' which Created sich F'uroar. Mister Watson had been appinted to extend a Welcome to q suffergits convenshun."
 Tn next day tn Janiter he gives Mister Taft Warnin an he sez "Misto Taff I done seen some Ladies turnin' in toards tn White House" Tn Presi dent seZ "Samwell. turn tn Key in tn Door an we'll wait for tn Worst" Tn Ladies come up on tn Porch an sam we'll asts 'em what they wants while
 
 tn Sofy. Tn ladies sez at they got Letter of Regret fer Mister Taft. Mis- ter Taft he Whispers to Samwell to tell 'em to Shove it under tn door which they done an Mister Taft tells Samwell to wait till tn Ladies gifts out onto tn -Avenoo agin before he CnloX tn Door.
 Mister Taft he takes tn letter with Shakin' hans an opens it.
 It sez: Deer Mister Prssdent-It is with Pane at we lernt at some body Hist you last Night while you was Extendin' tn Glad Hand to us at our Suffergit COnvenshun an all us Delly- cats to tn Convenshun Unanimous eX- press our Keenest Regret at this here Appearant Insult to tn Cheef Majis- trait of tn Nashun. We don't know who could a done it fer it is Certain at wasn't none of us Dellycats or we'd Rhode it. It must "a been some Outsiders which wasn't OtheriZed by us to Hiss at Nobody. We hope at your Mind ain't been Infloonced none again us by this here Untoard Incident an at you'll give us tn Rite to Vote an have a voice in tn Affares of tn Govern ment"
 Mister Taft dropt tn letter into tn Waist Basket an sez T gess, yes. I'll give you d voice in tn Government. l like that kind of a voice. I'm in faver of Conferrin' tn Rite of Sufferge on everything at Kisses. Women. Geese an Pizeness Serpents."
 LITTLE JAMES.