The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-06-02

~~~
did you ever hear Cadhy say any.
thing particular about mel" no: he
never vas particular what be said
about your-stray Stories.
Good heayensi What Is the mat
teri" The people on the second story
have gone away and left their auto
piano playins-Fllegende Blaetter.
Mistress-Anna. you've been wear
ing my patent leather shoes again
Anna-So sorry. ma'am. but I always
mistake them for my rubbers-Neg
gendorfer Biaetter.
Wiliie-Na. can't ! 60 out on the
street Tor a little while? Tommy Jones
says there's a comet 10 be seen Moth
er-Weli. yes: but don't you 90 too
near-Boston Transcript
do you give your wife an allow
ANGER" yes How much do you
allow her9 Don't you think II Is
rather imperiineni for you TO ask what
my salary isg"-HOrston Post.
But why do you put your friends
things in the dining ROOM -Oh. he
Is SO used % restaurants that be won't
enjoy his dinner unless be a watch
HIS hat and coaL"-L0uisville Courier
Journal
Motorist-As Il Is my fault that you
were upset. I viii make good your
damage at once. How much DO you
want2 Wctim-How much does the
gracious gentleman usually payg-Flie-
eende Blaetter.
Post once clerk-You'ra put two
penny stamps on your letter. The post
age is only one penny. Old Irishman
Sure. niyer mind. by sons IN the
post ONCE. 50 ltn all help towards his
Nages-Tit-Bits.
Died in poverty" cried the philos-
opher, sc0rnfuliy. oiled IN poverty.
did be. an you expect me to sympa-
THIEF G~orstrooth. what Is there IN
dying in poverty I've got to live In
itr-sporting Times.
Hubby-rm really quite proud Of
you. You've actually saved some
money out Of your allowance. Wife
Yes. Il was 50 simple! / wish had
thought before 10 have things charged.
Chicago Daily News.
Aiss sweet-n is just the sort Of en-
gagement ring ! preferred. None OF
my others were nearly 50 pretty. How
thoughtful Of you'll CeorEe-Not AZ all.
dear. This IS the ring ] have always
used-Knnsas City Journal
yes. I was dned $500 for putting
col0ring matter in artificial butter"
Wei. didn't you deserve IT." Per
haps. But what made me mad was
that the judge who imposed the
nne had dyed whiskers -cleyeland
Leader.
shes going on the stage" Is that
sof She can't sing. and never saw
her act" Il know. but that's All she
can do. Her husband deserted her.
and she never learned 10 work at any
thing before she married"-Detroit
Free Press.
Please. ma'am.~ said the servant
there's a poor man AZ the door with
wooden legs" ~Why. Mary" answered
the mistress. IN a ~reproVing tone.
what can we do with wooden legsg
Tell him we don't want any."-Lppn-
colts Magazine.
wei. here I am. announced the
fashionable physician IN his breezy
way. and now what do Tou think
Is the mattel with your Doctor. I
hardly know. murmured the fashion
able patient ~Nhat Is newr-Louis-
vile Courier-Journai
Il am told that King Edward sends
a daily message to his chef compli-
menting him on his dinner" Yes"
answered Mr. Crosslots. Eve are all Of
one common humanity. Even a king
has to 80 nj Of his way to jolly the
c~ook~-Washinston Star.
vIsitor-Tt must be a gigantic task
70 run a great newspaper like yours.
Edilor-Not at all. It's the easiest
thing IN the world. Dofcus Of my
a. well as perfect strangers
in here every day to tell me how
to run it.-Chicago Tribune.
seymour-why did you leave Flan-
boarding house? Ashley
There was too much sleight-othand
work going on. seymour-Slelght-of
hand work. Ashley-Yes; Mrs. Elan
niean got the coffee and the tea from
the same pot-Chicago News.
The Judge-DId you arrest this
chauffeur for speedlngl The Police
man-No. yer honor; I pulled i'm In
fer obstructin' Ia road; be was goin'
thirty miles an hour. an be was COM
planned about BY them that was riding
II III regular rate.-Chicaeo News
Dying Plumber Ito son)-Youu and
Amt bin able to leave you much
money, Bill; it's al got 70 90 to yer
mother and sisters. But I've be-
1ueathed you that there Job at Mug
Iey's we've bin at such a time. Don't
urry over t. Bill. and TN always keep
rou out Of want. anyway-TitBlts.
Honey. / can't nnd a retraction Of
hat story about your sisters elope-
with the Chinese cook after poi
,onine her husband and forging her
e.4h.r,n mama To a tt0J00O chpckl