The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1910-02-09
GRILLINc BY NEWS WRITER'S
Uncle Joe Cannon, Insurgents,
Ex-President Roosevelt and
Trusts Are Hit.

The Gridiron club gives two dinners
each year and 1t fell out that the one
given tonight at the New willard
was the silver dinner-marking tho
twenty-nfty anniversary of the foun-
dation of the club. Wherefor there
was a great gathering of notables-
a president, cabinet officers. embas-
sailors, jurists, grave and reverend
senators, frivolous representatives in
congress, and a number Of simple
newspaper men gathered from many
states Of the union. Each and all
event in the shape Of a souvenir sill
yer ash receiver, crossed by the mys-
tic gridiron.
President Zelaya Appears.
The fun started almost as soon as
the guests were seated, with a tangle
over the Inauguration of the new
president of the club-Scott c. Bone.
editor of the Washington Herald; for
entering untimely upon the scene.
came Ell Presidente Zelaya, with his
army composed of half a dozen gen.
erals in Falstaffian uniforms. and one
lone private. Zelaya, looking for a
Job. had picked out the presidency
of the Gridiron club as suitable, and
was elected only by the threat that
Secretary Knox was approaching
Scarcely had peace and quiet been re-
stored when another interruption
came. when to the strains Of the Mar
sellaise, entered the Back From
Elba club" clad In Napoleonic UNI
forms. and including personifications
of public men who have been identi-
fed by common report with the move.
ment to return Roosevelt to the White
house.
Insurgents Are Grilled.
The insurgents got their griiling
too; when between courses was rem
dered an affecting scene from Uncle
Toms cabin, for this occasion describ-
ed as Uncle Joe's Cabin or Life
Among the Insurgents" A presenta-
ment Of Speaker Cannon was the
clever lawyer Marks" another of
Whip Dwight was the brutal overseer
"Legree" and various prominent in
surgents figured as Uncle Tom" and
his fellow slaves, and Little Eva"
They were roughly treated, told that
they had been der rived of all patron
age, and their appeals to the speaker
to resign" wSIs met by demands for
their return Srhe republican caucus
Finally put upon the block at auction
in dubious market. the democrats
and republicans alike holding off
from the bidding, the sale was stopped
by orders from the White house in
the shape of an emancipation procla-
M n RI rfu ho
mony.
Trusts Not Forgotten.
If the insurgents were grilled. the
trusts were fairly roasted in another
skit portraying the Infant Industries
the Lumber, Whisky Beef. Coal
and Tobacco Trusts-seeking protec-
ton from a number of ugly-looking
customers identified as 1.-The Ultimate
Consumers"
The new order OF things in the
state department was disclosed in a
skit illustrative of a gathering OF
Secretary Knox and his faithful
assistants and bureau chiefs of recent
creation. There was an under secre-
tary and Secretary of Nearsighted
Affairs" and one of Far Sighted
Affairs" and there was a wonderful
exhibition of shirt Sleeve diplo-
macy" resulting In the summary set
Element of the Nicaraguan question
and the Chinese railroad imbroglio
and other matters tnat have engaged
the attention of the diplomatic branch
of the governm ent of the past few
months.
Among the guests were President
Taft. Vice President Sherman. the
Chinese minister. Senators Bourne OF
Oregon. Carter of Montana, Guggen-
helm of Colorado, Representatives
Clark of Missouri, Rucker of Color
ado, ]. A. Breckons of Cheyenne,
Wyoming; l.. r. CLAWS OF Portland
OregoI William Guggenheim OF
New York: Admiral j. N. Hemphill
Assistant Secretary Hiles; Brigadier
General Humphrey; C. N. James OF
! Pekin. China; and w. r. Wheeler OF
San Francisco.