Democratic messenger., 1910-02-26
HUMOROF THE GREEKS
Wit That Helped the Ancients
Drive Dull Care Away.
SOME FIFTH CENTURY Jokes

Proiihc source OF Merriment to the
testers Of Those Days-The Source
Of Many Modern Jokes.
The maxim that there Is nothing
new under the sun applies. II would
seem. more truly TO jokes and With
cisms than to anything else. The chief
differences between the jests OF one
generation and that Of another lie
mainly IN their form. The kernel Is
practically the same Nevertheless Il
is interesting TO cxhume some OF these
ancient jokes and to recognize In them
the ancestors OF the things at which
we laugh today In the pages OF our
humorous publications.
Some humorous writers dearly love
TO make fun OF the absentminded, un-
practical university professor. who
outside Of his own subject let's his
wits wander aud Is very slow TO grasp
anything In ordinary life. Such jokes
as these were cracked centuries ago
by the students and graduates OF the
great universities In ancient Greece.
for Il Is a mistake TO suppose that
what we now call college life" was
unknown to the ancients.
AS matter OF fact, the student at
the University of Athens or at the
University of Alexandria was very
much the same sort Of mortal as Is
the student today. and his professors
were not so very different.
usfeex
graduate of Alexandria. collected some
time In the fifth century n volume OF
jests which were current among the
students with regard TO the woogath-
erlng type of professor. A number OF
them are translated here MS being OF
considerable interest IN the history OF
humor and especially Of college hui
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\ professor. wishing to swim. was
nearly drowned. whereupon he swore
that he would never touch water again
until he had learned how to swim.
or twin brothers, one died. A pro-
fcssor thcrcupon. meeting the sur
vivor asked. lis It yon that died or
your brother:"
A professor. learning that raven
would live for more than 200 years.
bought one TO test the matter.
\ professor. wishing TO cross river.
went on board the boat on horseback
answered that he wanted TO get over
In n hurry.
A professor. looking out of the win
dow of II house which he had bought.
asked the passcrsby whether the house
was becoming to him.
a professor meeting another pro-
fessor. said. Il heard you were dead"
"And yet" replied the other, 'you see
that am still alive" We'll" said
the first ln perplexity. II don't know
what to believe. for the man who told
me about It Is n much more truthful
man thnn you.''
a professor. IN danger OF being ship
wrecked. called for his tablets that he
might make his will Seeing thereupon
his slaves laInenilng their fate. he
said. "Do not grieve. for am going to
set you free
trodden on Il nail and that the wound
pained him. On waking he bound up
his foot. Another professor. having
learned the cause. remarked. 1T served
you right. for why do you sleep with
out sandals:"
A professor. meeting doctor. hid
himself behind wall Some one ask
ing the cause. he answered, Il have
not been sick for so long n time am
ashamed TO come Into the sight of a
physician.
A professor wishing to teach his
horse TO he small eater. gave him no
food nj MI. Al length. the horse hav-
ing starved TO death. the professor ex-
claimed. II have suffered great loss.
for Just rs he had learned not TO eat he
died.
A professor. visiting n sick person.
inquired about his health. The invalid.
however. WAS not able To reply. There
upon the professor. being angry and
scolding the man. said Il hope that !
shall be sick some Of these days. and
then when you come 10 ask how | am
will not answer"
professor sealed up vessel OF
wine which he had bought His serv-
ant having made u hole IN the vessel
beneath and drawn on some Of the
wine. tile professor WIS astonished TO
see the contents diminished while the
seals remained unhroken. 4 neighbor
having told him 10 look whether 1t had
not been taken ont from below. he rc-
piled. "Why. yon fool. it's the upper
part Of the wine and not the lower
that Is missing"
4 professor. n bald man and Il bar
ber travelling together agreed 10 keep
watch la iurn four hours. each while
the others slept. The barbcr's turn
came first lie quietly shaved the
head of the sleeping professor and
when the time elapsed awoke him.
The latter. scratching his head as he
got up and finding It bare. cried out:
"What a rascal that barber Is. He's
walked the bald man instead Of me"'--
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