El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1910-10-28
IHE thrill of motherhood.

q n Inrnl OF mOCnernOOO.
Helen tried hard to feel that
when her baby was laid in her
arms. But somehow, she couldn't. Her
strongest feeling was one of uneasiness.
of a nervous fear of hurting it. She
could find no way of holding it comfort
ably.
However she placed it, it would man
age TO wriggle into some other position.
She was afraid to sleep when it was be-
side her for fear she would turn over
on it. She had horrible visions of wax
ing up and finding it smothered to
death. 1t was so little, there seemed no
way to keep it covered and yet keep
its head out so it could breathe.
She was glad the room was kept DIM
She didn't want to see it again now.
She had looked at il once and it had
been so red and wrinkled that her feel
ings had been almost one of repulsion.
She mad told herself severely that it
was a most unnatural and unmotherly
feeling, but that had not changed it.
Dreams-and Reality.
Her dream pictures had been of
golden-haired, blue-eyed baby-the
kind one sees on calendars and in in
FAINT food advertisements. But this was
very different. There wasn't any hair
at all. and its eyes were so squinted
that their color couldn't be told
After the first look, she had turned
her face to the wall with faint re-
quest TO the nurse to take it away. The
nurse had tried to assure her that all
very new babies looked like that, that
It took several weeks before they were
ever pretty.
And then Helen asked if Warren had
seen il. And when she was told he
hadn't, she asked them to keep it from
MIN until it looked little different
For some reason she felt it was her
fault. that its unattraciveness was
dered If she could ever grow to love it
If 1t should always be ugly. The pos
sibility of having a homely child had
never occurred to her, so certain had
she been that her baby would be beau
tiful. And now
Mother-Thoughts-
Probably, after while, it wouldn't
be so red or so wrinkled, but its mouth
had seemed so large and its gums so
prominent. Could time change those
things? From that one glimpse, deep
in her heart she could not believe that
time would make of it a beautiful child.
If it had been a boy, its looks |
wouldn't have mattered so much just /
so it was big and strong. But an ugly |
little girl. The thought made her sick |
at neart
And then she thought of all the dainty /
little clothes she had made-lacey gowns (
with blue ribbons. Blue ribbons on that |
crimson baby.
Nurse, don't use any of those little |
dresses that have blue ribbons. 1 don't /
think blue would be very-very becom- I
Ing to it now.
The nurse promised. depressing
smile.
"An Ugly Little GIRL"
And then again she turned her face
% the wall and began miserably to plan
how she would dress it if it were al
ways an ugly little girl. At least she
would have the judgment to dress it
7ery plainly, to make it as inconspicu-
'us as possible. She had always thought
: ridiculous to see ugly little children |
ressed up in all sorts of frills and fur
elows.
And then she thought of the family |
eunions and dinners at Warren's
ather's. when Carrie CWarren's sister,
would bring her three beautiful chill
ren- And she mad looked forward so
proudly to taking her own beautiful |
'aby; and now-now, she would have
o take an ugly little girl.
Why should Carrie have lovely chill
ren, if she could not? Carries hus-
and was not nearly as good looking
Is Warren And Carrie fserself-at
ines she was almost plain.