Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-28

complaining of these things, that's one
good point.
Huh! Listen to those young 'uns!
There ought to be a law preventing insane
women from dragging young 'uns along
on trips like this. And, ugh. Look at
that demented woman feeding that gum
my-looking little girl pickles and cake in
alternate mouthfuls! What's the matter
with these maniacal women, anyhow?
"And to think that right this minute
might be lolling around in my pajamas
in my own fiat, taking it easy like HUI
man being!
Huh. There goes the music, as they
all it. They will have music on the
boats, of course. It's enough to set a
man crazy to listen to it, but they will
have it,
"Look-a-here. what are YOU glooming
about now? Who's been giving you the
chance now to fix up that sad and sweet
martyr look on your face? Huh? It's
your trip, isn't 1t? You absolutely re-
fused to pass the Sunday in your own
right smack in your element, the environ
ment that you love and idolize, and
you're sitting there trying to hand me
that Fox's Book OF Martyrs expression!
THAT reminds me that 1t wouldn't hurt
any If you'd sort o. stoop down and give
your nose a furtive dab with your pow
der rag, II you've got one slowed on your
person. Your nose is as shiny as a
chunk of salt water taffy.
"How's that? You're not worried how
you look? We'll. 1 am worried, then, il
you please, madam! You're with me.
Try to remember that. I'm conveying
you around. If you think I'm going to
drag you up and down boat with your
nose looking like beacon light, you've
got another trance a-comlng.
Il wonder where you got that pInny-
pinny-poppy-show thing that you've got
swaddled around your neck?
"How's that? It's a string Of anne
thysts? Well, it looks like something the
women Of the Mountains of the Moon
country in the Congo wear at cannibal
dance wonder where the dickens you
get hold of the strange, weird junk that
you hang on to yourself. particularly
when you go to places with me.
And that hat! Say, If you wore that
hat doing a song and dance at a moving
picture show you'd be the riot, the
knockout, the sure-fire hit Of the pro-
duction! Oh, it's a Charlotte Corday, is
We'll, it looks every inch a Charlotte
Corday. I've seen Marie Dressler get a
lot of laughs out of the hats she wears
on the stage, but If she ever got hold
could make the vaudeville houses come
across with half the gate receipts.
Hun! The boats moving and we're
still in the sun? Oh, of course! Now,
s'pose you want to have me reverse
that Joshua STUFF and direct the sun to
move over on the other side, just to ac-
commodate YOU. And If the sun refuses
to consider that proposition, what are
you going to do about it? Maybe you'd
like to drag me into the cabin, where
there are 5000, 900 women with babies,
Ell? Is that it?
Huh? You're thirsty. are you? oh.
well. don't you care. The Handsome
waiter will be here N a minute and YOU
can order all the STUFF from him that
you How's that? You only want a |
glass OF water All right Kindly ex-
cuse me while / prowl around four or |
five miles over this boat trying to locate |
some place where / can get you a glass |
of water. will you?
X
us there anything else you want? |
Wouldn't you like some jubejube paste and |
some gumdrops and some marshmallows
and a horse cake and a stick of pepper l