Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1910-01-14
\ FEW THINKS
BY LUE r.. VERNON

Printers ink is black but it serves
to enlighten many.
It's one thing to run into debt and
another to crawl out.
Did anybody ever ask the weeping
willow why it does it?
Did 1t ever occur TO you that hook
worms are awful bores?
The first step toward keeping your
mouth shut is to close it.
l would rather be poor man at
large than d rich man in Jail.
don't blame man for growing if
his wife treats him like dog.
San Diego, Cal, has fly physic-
ian and surgeon-Dr. r. J. Fly.
About all you can do with people
who hate you is to conclude they have
bad taste.
a nervous man is easily undone.
but the way dresses are now built it
IS hard to undo a woman.
lfyou would be happy. keep your
eyes WIDE open during courtship and
half closed after marriage.
a peerless beauty is not necessar-
lily one who has turned down Brit
ish noblemar, don t-cher-k know?
Some people have hard work to
swallow small pill but others can
take large tablet and pencil with
out winking.
DIR. Freilander says that America
is full of untouched subjects. Intro
Guce them to CoUier's UukIv, Doc;
it will do the rest.
When 1T comes to being charitable
to the faults OF others, the brother
hood OF man has the sisterhood of
woman beaten to frazzle.
Some preachers say there will be
no lawyers in Heaven. Certain; else
how could the peace that surpasseth
all understanding prevail there?
James ]. Hill says the farms must
be made more productive, which is
all right from either the freight point
OF view or the man who pays for it.
A man in Iowa says he is going to
live Il hundred years. With food
stuif as high as it is to-day, it's q
mighty expensive thing to do, Mr..
Man.
The old proverb. Where there S
q will there's way" has been re-
vised to suit the situation. 1t now
reads: " When there bill we're
away
A man tried to light his pipe in u
powder magazine in Pennsylvania.
recently. and in a fraction of a sec
ond st. Peter heard q violent tugging
at the bell.
Col. Henry WattersOn is unable to
name, at this date. the next Demo-
cratic nominee for President. This
may hurt the feelings of q well known
Nebraska statesman.
"Our delusions are the sweetest
things in life" says the gentle opti-
mist editor of an Eastern Washing
ton exchange. How about the man
/ who thinks he can sing?
Klam: Every man in the concern
belongs to the Anti-Noise society
| but one.
Starfish: And who is that one?"
khan: The silent partner.
| / read, recently, that $50 blacks
were held for the murder of two
white women in Georgia. Ordinar-
lily black men charged with crimes of
that charac ter are not held in Georgia.
An Eastern Washington editor
says: "A thing can't be a great
help and 4 grea: drawback at the
same time. don't know about
this. How about IA mustard plaster?
Now, D." cried the deep-voiced wo-
man lecturer, What has made fe-
male suffrage pOssible?'
Male sufference." replied the
rude man, who had 10 business to be
there at all
DR.. Parkhurst says that all suf-
fragettes are like sheep" OF course
If Parkhurst ever saw woman who
was not good at pulling the wool
over your eyes, would like him to
tell when and where.
The banks of the country are run
ming over with money on deposit
The aggregate exceeds fifteen bill
lion of dollars. Have you got any of
that fifteen billion saltcd down in
some financial institution?
Miss Giddigosh-"O uncle, have
you seen the Wilson'S baby Do
describe it to me.
Uncle Shark k" Description. Um!
-ah! very small features, clean
shaven. redfaced and looks like Il
hard drinker.
Judge: What are your grounds
for divOrce"'
My wife married me to reform
me, and after we settled down didn t
have sense enough to give up the
idea"
Judge: Granted.
Pathetic stories should have no
place in the public schools. The
greatest need for pupils is human
stories, the kind that make children
roll on the ground with laughter
Any thing to make them laugh, and
laugh. 1t makes them grow, puts
sunshine into their lives and de-
velopes contented men and women.
An Olympia man who believes in
the old saying. See pin and pick
it up. and all that day you'll have
good luck" saw a pin in front of the
postoffice the other day. Bending
down to get it, his hat tumbled off
and rolled into the street; his eye
glasses fell and broke on the pave
ment; his suspenders gave way be-
hind; he burst the button-hole on
the back of his shirt-collar, and he
all but lost his new front teeth. He
got the pin.