Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-07-12


He looked for glass.
Now, | know what you're think
in" said the burglar. helping himself
! literally: you're thinkin' as / shall
take q drop too much. See?-and
then you'll ave 4 look in. Not Inc,
guv'nOr. I never drink more than
once between meals, so now yer
know"
Nevertheless. he swallowed the raw
whisky without n shudder. Under its
influence he developed CHEEKY vein.
An" he said. unbuttoning the un-
accustomed tunic, this is what l call
'omely. Now. guv'nor. give us a
song Plenty of time afore your pals
come back. feel as if | must be
umored."
"A song,' exDostulated the bishop.
what nonsense! l haven't sung for
years"
'Then it's about time yer tried.
Give us sOmethin' soothin' and not too
loud"
"Well. do you know. I don't think
it would be safe" said the blshop'
with a low cunning that almost sham-
ed him: somebody might hear.
"Artful old cove. you are" at length
said the burglar. smiling vacuously;
but blowed if l don't think you're
right"
The bishop involuntarily groaned,
hastily correcting himself with a
yawn. 900,
"Ain't yer enjoyin' yerself?" was
the suspicious inquiry.
"Oh. yes: quite so, thanks.
Then why don't yer laugh? 1 new
er saw any one look so miserable
You're disappointed at not singing
that song. that wot's the matter WIN
you"
The burglars mood had changed,
and the bishop noted with alarm that
the faster the whisky disappeared the
more saturnine and eXacting became
the odious visitor.
GO on. 'urry up and laugh" de-
manded the burglar. "settin' there
Iookin' as if you 'ad the toothache;
'urry up. laugh
He emphasized the order by a
thump of the revolver on the table.
The bishop smiled in a nervous
feeting manner. >,
IF yer makes them faces at me"
said the burglar. sourly, dyer Know
wot'll 'appen? I shall put bullet
through yer and bury yer in the flow
erhed. Gimme the whisky"
But YOU asked me to laugh pleaded
the bishop. wondering whether an open
cheuue would persuade the scoundrel 10
depart. -, 70. .o,d tho
burglar, throwing one leg over the otn-
err Then suppose yer make me lauSh
for a change. Dyer know any tunny
stories?"
mot one" was the prompt and dis
couraging reply.
up the revolver.
"A funny story, l said, and it's got
to be one as'll make me laugh. see!
The bishops soul sank within him,
and in his anguish he could only thlhk
Of the multiplication table -,
"That story don't seem to be comm
along" was the grim reminder.
Then in a muddled way there came
to the fiustered bishop the indistinct
memory of something about curate
"Well," he began hesitatinsly. with
one eye on the window, there was once
a curate"- ~ ,o.,,.
and he went to stay with a DISH
OPP
Along O. you?"
NO. no. another bishop
"One O. your pals. spose. All right
get on with il" -,
egg
"Wot for?"
why, for breakfast. of course" con-
tinued the bishop, GROSSLY, wondering
what on earth came next.
We'll, why didn't yer say so? Ana
wot want to know is wen I'm g"lh 10
Taught"
yes. yes. I'm comm to that Now,
the egg was not a good one. but the
curate was too polite to say So
".E must ave been a cuck0o--beS
parding, go on"
suddenly the bishop looked over and
said'- ,
"'Arf a minute-'oO'S egg was it,?
"The biShOpS-nn. the curate'S. OF
course. Well, the bishop leaned over
and said, I'm afraid your egg is not a
good one"
The reconteur paused and CROPPED in
wardly for the Curate's repartee.
The burglar looked up with a start
and gazed ferociously at the unhappy
bishop. who continued. hurriedlY:
well. no. my lord replied the cur
ate: I'm afraid it's rathed bad in
parts"
The burglar looked at him with
blank face. then he drew the WHISKY
over. helped himself literally and ad-
dressed the bishop in tones more ot
sorrow tnan anger -.
That's wot / call takin a great lib
erty." he said solemnly. 81 arsk you
in a friendly way to tell me funny
story"-he lurched slightly forward and
recovered himSelf-"and that's wot 'ap-
pens. Take off yer boots"
The bishop moved nervouSlN in ms
chair and tried to avoid the focus OF
the unsteady revolver
Boots" came the command. Take
'em off! Yer've got to dance ter me
now. Dance, dyer ear"
But
Take 'em off,"
With tears of vexation in his eyes the
bishop stopped and unlaced mis- boots
An now. inter the middle of the
room and dance To me like-like n
bootiful fairy" he added, as an encour-
aging simile.
Il absolutely refuse
"Absolu"- The burglar tried to
repeat the word. and thinking better Of
il went on: Like a bOotiful fairy. and
If yer say another word yerll ave to
take off yer lessin'S too
With sick despair in his heart the
bishop moved into the middle OF the
room and stood timorously in his stock
inged feet.
life q bootiful fairy" was the re-
peated order. emphasized by the way
ing revolver
Then the bishop gave tw" little hops
feeling that he was degraded forever
Not bit like n fairy" said the
burglar, shaking his head SOlcmnly
Music. that's wot Yer want. music
He tried to whistle, but. failing igno-
miniously. endeavOred to renew his
powers with whisky.
Not a bit o good. You whistle
Yourself"
The bishop huskily whistled the first
few bars of voluntary and pirnu"tted
laboriously.
"1hat's better" said the burglar. ap-
provngly. Now Wen have it just a
little bit 'igner."
Only the thought of a distant family
prevented the bishop throwing himself
on the waving revolver and riskinS
sudden death.
TRY agen and don't stop. and keep
nn whiStlin'.'
Setting his teeth. and feeling that
suicide were preferable, tn" bishop
bounded into the air and curved his
legs into unSeemly attitudes.
"Oncurc! OnCurci"
The dancer i'm desperation. though
of throwing himself backward through
81, h.n # tl1. corner