davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-04-10
= I've JAPANESE ScHooLB0Y' WASHINGTON
T% %m az HAsse,asuRA 1000 WALLACE lR*,N2 ~
y
CONGRESS- Embarrassed
By Size of the Wod


no longer be tore down 20 make m, o..
taller and Uglier ones. All the uics..
railroads would fail. because uobo..
would want % ride on them. Bu,,r..-
men would stop being dishonest. bsr,r..
they would be too lazy 70 think =.
tricks. All shops would close al uoo.
and nobody would care for nothirx
cept baseball and grand opera. r,;,.
what Civilization was meant fCr."
Great applause from the stand p,
branch 81 the Republican Party.
Hon. Jo-UncIe elevate his hammer =.
close up Congress for the day.
Hon BoutteI" he-say. Il wish =.
fore quitting. YOU would make a n,s,o,
that. WHEREAS
- large sum Of Money ia soa,,,..
around for the Upliftment and Improve.
ment Of the Human Race.
BE it DISSOLVED
That Some 81 II be spent in Hlirn,
next summer % put a Grand Old Educs.
tor back in the place where ne viii d
the most GOOD.
Hon. Bouttell done 80 by saying "a
Meeting was then adjourned. All Co,.
gressmen deported away sadly. Ike thsy
had 50 much money on their minds thsy
was afraid TO be caught alone uns
themselves.
Hoping You are the same
Yours truly
HASHINCRA TOGO
tCopyright. 1910 by the Associated It---
Press
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-04-10

Wash. u. &.
To Editor Tribune. who must teei
nervous when he observe Gift Horses
setting i'm Dentists Chairs.
Honorary Mister
Congress is such suspicious aggtlNd
zion Of iutenects that nothing arrives
,bore without it is investigated. They
a-o ,-er, Nfissourian about this. Gentle
man comes 10 Washington with seal skin
suit Of pajamas.
81 have discovered North Pole" he-say
Tor pride.
SO did Dr. Cook" report Hon Con-
gress.
What do ] get for this act?' require
Hon. Discoverer with voice.
..Not sure" dib Congress maybe you
viii get six months"
.Can i not AT leastly expect the thanks
OF Congress-" negotiate ENplore-man
with frost bite % feet.
80 surely YOU can" corride Hon. Cong
.neariv everybody can expect that.
Your number is 34Cl1 on the Waiting
List"
So Hon. piscoverer Of y. Pole take his
mace far down the line between Hon. &.
pinchot and oscar Hammerstein who
also expect 10 be National Heroes some
dav. If their strength holds out
short time 81 yore me x NoEi seen
Hon. John ID. Rockefeller enter into the
CAPITOL Bldg with his entire fortune
wrapped up in A piece Of paper. To
Hon. Gatckeeper he-say:
Il have here S2Jo,V0.oo0 which ] de-
sire 10 give To the human race
-Namo. 81 any, dement, Fon. Gate
keep iusolvently.
Il ann Hon. John -. Rockefeller OF
Tarrytvvn. Y. y" he report twisting
his Wig shyIy IN his hand.
you are i'm the wrong compartment
of the Capitol Bldg renig Hon Door
keen. This is the House of Representa-
tives-you belong in the supreme Court
where you are now being dissolved.
"But was told by my stenographer
Hon Archybold." say that great & good
man. that Congress was the place 10
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-04-10

or every possible occasion, although such
q procedure Is both had policy and bad
golf This is nothing - compared with the
fashion adopted in other quarters Of play
ing at this time Of the year under what
are known as winter rules" At one or
two Of the clubs this permits % placing
the bail 20 n good lie after every shot. As
i that wasn't had enough some of the
members have misconstrued this privilege
So far as TO tee up. I wonder what old Tom
Morris would say If he could return 10
earth ard witness = sight like that.
Play the bah where 81 lies and where
the penalty stroke f. incurred. 1t is rare,
indeed. that one comes across 3 lie so bad
that good player could not make more by
playing Il than he could 10y lifting and
dropping. u rs quite possible that gal
liant recovery may result in nothing being
lost through the difficulty al all While
this argument may with fairness he APP
Piled 10 q good player, il is by no means
true in the case Of poor one. The knsck
Of playing really bad lies Is So much a
thing 10y Itself and 50 much a matter a
practice that the inexperienced player will
frequently fail to get clear Of the difficulty
IN one ~lo-. ON the other hand, this is all
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-04-10

what would become u some Of our
leading Congressmen under such lawF'
dib Jo-I-ncIe with pceved expression
Set down for Hon. Colby
Mr.. Speech" say Hon. 3outteil. a
vast fortune could be prOftablousiy
epcut i'm NY District giving pensions TO
Veterans who were unable 70 enlist IN
the civil War because IF fright IL was
not the fault Of these heroes Mr.. Speech.
that they did not nsht in the battle OF
Shiloh.s Run. Their hearts were willing.
but their knees we're weak Fear. Mr.
Sir. is one az the most painful oi human
emotion. Therefore. do not those VINO
was scared 10 go to war also suffer for
their country equally To- them VINO now
wears crutches on their absent legs?
Answer is. Yes, Many Of my most re-
spcctod constituents have been Sos broken
ina nerve at the thought Of enlisting IN
tSG2 that they have been disabled 70 do
any hard work since Therefore. i pro-
pose a bill to give pensions 70 these
patriots"
Your bill is no more foolish than the
average. suggest Hon. Jo-Uncle.
Have any other Philanthropist brite
idea to spend Mr.. Rockefeller's money
1T might be expended in fracturing'
MASKING * steam rolling dangerous
Trusts. beginning with the Standard
Oil" begin Hon. Poindexter, Of Wash
..Hon. Senior Sir" deport Hon. Don
Juan de Bolo. extraordinary Delegate
from the Philippine Islands. Il come
from the Island Of Bang Bang p. l.
where everything is now in the state
that Adam & Eve left it when they
broke up housekeeping You cannot
imagine how happy it feels to live there
Trouble with America is il is always
spelling things by improving them
Hon. Rockefeller could more than mend
what he has done % America. II he
would spend his cash-money forming a
Society for the Suppression Of Improve
ment. All subway lines would be
STOPPED before they was begun. Old Po-
Utical Parties would be permitted TO rot
away peacefully. Old buildings would
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-04-10
Disinferesfed Hdx'ice TO
Automobile Purchased

switched on. Crank quickly. Too 81
cranking will not draw enough zasOlers ..
OF the spray nozzle There may 80 ..
much printing IN which case the nixf-r
will be too rich II the weather - -
cold. sIowness OF evaporation OF chis
gasolene may account for refusal o. =
engine TO start In that case pack ths a
buretOr around with heated cloths. =
squirting OF a little gasolene into the 4
inlet is also likely 20 allow starting.
Irregular explosions or missing or exg,
sions are very common signs OF trcgts
This trouble is easy 20 detect. but vs
hard 20 locate with precision a 20 the us
ing cylinder. II the missing is cOnSts-
however. the exhaust pipe OF the e.
cylinder will be cooler than those or =
others. II the missing is intermittent. ~
down all the vibrators but one.
II the cylinder corresponding - tss =
one runs steadily. release one or the o,as
instead. and so on. until the one th&
missing is discovered Then disconnect @
secondary wire OF this cylinder ron =
plug and hold il about half an inch ava
from the plug terminal while crankins
engine. IL no spark passes when Tire trs
makes contact the trouble is IN err
wire or coil. II there is good spark {
probable that the spark pIuE is foua
that there is a break in It's Insulation
that the points are too far apart.
II the secondary circuit is al right. p
mixing in the Carouretor NAV have csuis
the missing or badly sitting sxhs-
valve. permitting the burned gases 70
drawn back. weakening the charge IN z
cylinder. or "A broken inlet spring Or
sticking Of an inlet valve which latter =
defects keep the mixture from beng n
tanned in the combustion space durias
/ compression stroke.
I Sometimes an engine viii miss ony
I high speeds The battery may os
weak. or loose connections may be Isrfs
/ By the high speed
/ Occasionally an engine viii start wei .
/ soon stop. II the battery l. nearly q
I hausted a rest Will enable Do % recuPs's
I enough 20 give a good spark az hrst
| the effort wears 90 out quickly. An
, bound supply tank may be responsible
/ this trouble
\ Pre-ignition makes trouble az times. VIZ
| the mixture j. iEnitsd before the gnu
/ circuit Is closed This may be due % 0's
/ heating. or TO lack OF proper unFicso
/ or 20 the deposit Of carbon IN the Z"
\ bustion space. which viii become incsna'
/ cent and fire the charge too soon
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-04-10
CHAPTER NvI.

CHAPTER NVI.
ETOW the autoist comes 10 trouble
M There never has been. there isn't
now, and there never viii be an
automobile that runs Just the way il should
all the time That car is reserved for the
millennium. and that is long way off,
Trouble is exasperatng. annoying, con-
ducive To profanity and wrath and bitter
ress Also, it's likely to lead 10 much dis
comfort. But there are COmpensations.
Unpleasant as il is to have to get out of a
car in "A road that is ten miles from no.
where and try to find out what the matter
is, there is a certain satisfaction about the
final discovery and adjustment that makes
up for all the previous disbursement and
worry.
The thing for the autoist is to know how
to go to work to find out what is wrong.
All sorts of small troubles can put car
out Of commission temporarily y few of
them require the services of a competent
mechanic for adjustment. But there is not
much that can happen To an automobile
that will prevent the completion of a jour
ney.
Certain precautions should be taken be-
fore starting. The gasolene tank should be
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-04-10

NO" depose Hon Hob. Nothing IS
enough to build a modern Navy. But
II Congress wish to spend this Rocker
Teller Foundation easily and without
harm to nobody. | suggest is super
Dreadnoughts. each weighing a little
more than the combined navies Of Eng
land. France and Germany. Until we get
these we cannot sleep without an IN
delicate sense Of fear"
Hon Hohson set down midst Of APP
plause from Hon. Leslie NJ. Shaw &
other members Of the Navy League set
ting i'm the gallery.
MIR. Speak" say Hon. Goldfogl Of y.
V. peace has its horrors more distinct
~ than war. There are some things
that shouldn't do as are done. Such a
swollen pile Of money should be given
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-04-10
More Links from GoLfs
Endless Daisy Cham

weaker sex that has ever been invented.
The more energetic games. such aS lawn
tennis. are not at all times to be recon-
mended for all women. but Il is seldom that
golf has any effect hut good one It goes
without saving that any game which tends
to render "A woman constitutionally and
physically stronger is for the good Of the
race at large.
Professional and business men of this
country do not participate as prominently
IN the game a. their brethren on the other
side. This applies particularly To- physi-
clans In London ana other English cities
physicians from the highest 10 the lowest
play golf whenever they can get away.
There is no doubt that golf is great and
increasing factor in making our communi-
ties more hoaithful.
While carly indications point 90 the com
ing season as likely 10 prove 'thc best
ever" the question arises, VIII tho pro-
fessional derive his proportioH5te share Of
the gain That the pro does not always
get what should rightfuliy 60 his way is
the belief Of foreign critic. who sails
into q certain class of amateurs without
mercy. He says;
"Unheppily. the amateur regards the life
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-04-10

die for ones country. ! have done 50
from To q times already and I endorse
il with my entire brain l wish I had
ten thousand lives. / would man a battle
ship with myself and go to war against
the Yellow Peril. To die for ones Coun-
try is a privilege which should Ice eX-
tended to every American schoolhoy-
Therefore" ocheers) Il move and second
the motion that Mr. Rockefeller's pack
age Of S2.o.uO0.OoO bo spent toward pre-
pairing the navy for the great War with
Japan. which is now set for March II.
1911 War is hell. WHEN YOU are lick
ed. il is heller. \ quarter Of billion
dollars viii go a great way toward inn
providing our navy
Isn't If enough. for Goshens sake?'
REQUIRE Hon. Butler Aims with gasps.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-04-10

To- the VIM. Ostler Society. so that
Knockout should be delivered after six
ty years Of age"
you mean knock-Outs for people,?
was question asked by all Oldy-men
present.
"No-for eggs" report Hon. Gold
That Ostler Society. If it had little
more cash money. could get after all
Cold Storage. including hens. turkeys.
asparagus and other forms Of humOr
which have been dead too long To Ire
understood So many Chorus Girls
would be removed by the same process
that some Of our loudCst musical come
dies would be obliged To dry up. Thusiy
the public. at minus expense, would gcr
fresh eggs and fresh chorus. girls on the
tables Of our leading hote's.'
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-04-10
THE ONLY ORIGINAL.

George Washington was very small, very
black and very new to the life OF the
public school which lie had just entered
His family had emigrated TO the city from
some unknown wilderness, and the official IS
Of the school board had discovered little
George and brought him into line with the
prospects Of the higher education. 1t was
his first day and the teacher was trying 10
make him at home.
And so your name Is George NaShlng-
TOM said the teacher.
''Yassum. Jorge WaShin ton.
And I suppose YOU try to he as like him
as little hoy can. don't yOu2'
LAX who mann
Like George Washington
The vouuEster looked puzzled
All KANT help bcin' lax Jorge Wash
in'tou." IN. replied stoutly. d" cos that's
who All am. Youths Companion.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-04-10

vigorously that the allegation Of the sentry
was slander-that ne was sure the cap
tain was perfectly sober the evening of
the alleged assault.
Why are YOU So sure that Captain
Blank was sober that evening" ne was
asked. Did he speak 90 you upon his re-
turn 20 his quarters
He did. sir"
What did he sayF'
Gle toud me 20 Ice shure an call him
carly iu the norma, sir"
And lid the captain say why nc wished
tD br called carly
"Nia. sir. lac did sir he said he was
Coiu' To-. be Queen - the May, sir"
responded the orderly with convincing
gravity Cosmopolitan Magazine
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-04-10
PROOF POSITIVE.

certain captain I'm the army was sum
moned by his colonel 20 answer charge
Of as ault preferred against him by a
sentry. who had stated that the officer
had used him pretty roughly one evening
at the gate Of the barracks.
& humorous phase OF the affair was that
the officer apparently had no recollection
Of the alleged assault. The sentry had
made so hold as TO declare that the officer
was intoxicated.
Among those questioned was tho cap
tain's orderly, an Irishman. who protested
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-04-10
A WONDERFUL MAN.

"Airs Mould told me this afternoon that
she never discovered until yesterday what a
remarkable man she had married
Jim Mould remarkable, Nothing Of the
kind"
''Ncll. he is His wife found out yester-
day that hr a. ambideXtrous aud can but
tom her waist iu two places gt oure''-
cleveland Plain Dealer
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-04-10
ONE EXPENSE CUT OFF.

I'D Ike % know" said the curious = :
zen. how the country Is any better - ~
account OF the North Pole naving osen
covered 90 80
can't you see. my friend SAD ~ -
unSuiShed explorer. The COUNTY, 80
have 10 raw our expenses for any
trips TN search % the North Pole = ~
Tribune
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-04-10
HIS VANITY FLATTEsEo.

THAT candidate insists that he W.
fSated by the trusts. - -xnfr
Yes. answered Senator SorS nu.,. Bses 4
ever a man gets tho worst % " ~ - ssd l
console himself with the idea ma. ~
mighty biz antagonist W aShN"s'
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-04-10
TIE CHIEF INGREDIENT.

PiobbS-Th ere are fOrty-ei ght difers-
materials used in constructing piano
SIObbs Yes. and III bet forty-hys 4
them are noise philadelphia Record
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-04-10

Il certainly admire that man
What IN the world for
His viii power.
He has no will power az al -. !
WHY. he told me that ne lust -
his mind % out smoking. snd ne -
He's lying BIS wife made up Nv
and he quit o. Houston Post
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-04-10
Ne SHUT HER up.

Why are you and your "''
Hugr" ..,5a a -
''Oh. I acknowledged thar ssss -
81 myself IN my latest deal. Sllu .rs,le y
because she has 10 chance 90
me about DO. Cleveland LedIe'
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-04-10
FRESH. sUT SPOILED.

RIObbs-YOung BiOnes is avfIllv frs,s
SI0hbs-Yes and the most renarkss,.
thing is that a. child he was absou,sr.
spoiled. -Philadelphi Record.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-04-10
UPS AND DOWNS.

Life is fun OF ups and downs, qu,..
the Wise Guy.
Yes. we put NJ with what We zst ri
plank down FOR IT. added the Simple VT
-Philadelphia Record.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-04-10

will make all the difference to profes-
sional as 10 whether he is barely keeping
body and soul together or whether he and
his family are able to live in decent com
fCrt"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-04-10
A cLEAR FIELD.

~ think III rather be an honest ''
a rich man. these days. -
''Rut whVr .,,,etltlo2
Cleveland Leader.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-04-10
THERE ARE MANY LIKE =, :.

What sind q a story az N'~
"It's \ mystery story "A
What's the mystery ...sd y "
The fact that any hc1N coAs0
lish tt."-W ashinJtcn star
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-04-10

paag Why aren't you az the cooking
SCHOOL,
rolly-Teach laid Up with dyspepsia
Cleveland Leader.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-04-10
BY r. q Pul,er

CHAPTER IT,
~ PEN the book 81 golf rules al ran
dom, place your finger on almost
any paragraph. and then reflect ASK
~saff whether the. average deFoiee OF
8 .-..-n h. -la.-i-- golf As be snol-l-
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1910-02-21
TRAIN DlSPATCHERS'
ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA
Two Hundred and Fifty Delegates
Will Meet This Summer at
Spokane, Wash.

Spokane, Wash, Feb. 21.-Two hun
dred and fifty members of the organi-
Zation from all parts of the United
States and Canada will attend the
annual convention of the Train Dis
patchers' Association of America in
Spokane beginning June q. The
Spokane Train Dispatchers' Club,
headed by B. l.. Sperry of the Spo-
kane, Portland and Seattle railway
the Old Time Telegraphers Club OF
the Pacific Northwest, of which T. P
Mckinley is president, and the Spo
kane Chamber of Commerce, will en-
tertain the delegates during their
stay in Spokane. There will be a
series of receptions and excursions to
nearby points, also a banquet in the
hall of the Doges and a luncheon in
the assembly hall of the Chamber of
Commerce. The railroads operating
in the Pacific Northwest will be rep,
resented by the head of their dis
patching department and it is likely
there will also be presidents of sew
eral transcontinental lines in the Uni
ted States and Canada.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1910-02-21
STATE OF WASHINGTON
BUILDING FIFTY HIGHWAYS.
One Million Dollars Will Be Expend.
ed Upon Them This Year-Lining
Roads With Fruit Trees.

Spokane, Wash, Feb 21.-Henry L..
Bowlby, state highway commissioner,
is authority for the statement that
S1,000,000 will be expended upon so
state-aid roads in Washington this
year. The first work will be in east
ern Washington in the vicinity of
Spokane to demonstrate to the farm
ers and ranchers the value of better
country highways. The Spokane
County Good Roads Association, head
ed by Frederick H. Mason, is cooper
ating in every way with the state Off
GERS, also arranging for the building
Of nearly 100 miles of roads without
assistance from the state One of the
associations plans is to build a paved
highway 60 feet in width, between
Spokane and Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, 81
miles, both sides being lined with ap-
pie and other fruit trees and foun-
tains mile apart J. A. Perry, sec.
retary of the association, announces
that this work will begin in short
time and rushed to completion.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1910-02-21
ADDRESS FROM
THE THRONE
King Edward Makes Momen-
tous Speech at Opening
of Parlis m ent
STRUGGLE BETWEEN HOUSES
There Was Great Display, Pomp
and Pageantry at the
Ceremony.

London, Feb. 21.-Parliament was
opened formally this afternoon by
King Edward who was accompanied
by Queen Alexandria. The state OPP
ening was marked by all the pomp and
pegeantry associated with these occa-
siOns since the ascension of Edward
VII The king, in a momentous
speech from the throne, said: Recent
experience has disclosed the serious
difficulties due TO recurring differen
ces of opinion between the two
branches of the legislature. Propos
ais will be laid before you with all
convenient speed to define the rela
tiOns between the houses of parlia
ment so as to secure the undivided
authority of the House of Commons
over finance and its predominance il
legislation. These measures, in the
opinion OF my advisers, should pro
vide that this house should be so con
stituted and empowered as>Jto exer
else impartially in regard to proposed
Legislation, functions of initiation and
revision, and subject to the proper
safeguards against delay
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1910-02-21
GLIDING ON
ROLLER SKATES
Unique Scheme of Philadel'
phians to Mitigate Hard
ship of Car Strike
FEW PASSENGERS CARRIED
Thousands of Extra Policemen
and Firemen Sworn in by
Authorities.

Philadelphia, Feb. 2l.-The traction
company started cars on many lines
early this morning without interrup-
ton, concentrating most of its ener-
gy on lines running into the business
section. Few passengers were carried
ing people off the cars. That this
fear is we'll founded, was shown by re-
ports of stone throwing and slight in
jury to a number of persona which
soon began to come in from different
sections of the city. A thousand ex-
ira policemen and firemen were sworn
in yesterday and the city officials are
prepared to swear in three thousand
more at the first sign of serious law
lesSneSs.
Three cars were set on fire this
morning, but the crowds were easily
dispersed. Tens of thousands of peo-
pie walked to work this morning in a
heavy rain. Every teamster willing
to carry passengers found people
eager to pay high rates of fare. One
of the amusing sights this morning
was to see men and not a few wom-
en- going to work on roller skates.
Two Men Seriously Injured.
Philadelphia, Feb. 21.-A serious
outbreak occurred in the mill district
lof the city this morning when "a
crowd after beating motorman and
conductor of a car, wrecked it. The
two men were seriously injured.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1910-02-21
RATS CAUSE
Of LEPROSY
Hair Imported From Orient
Communicates Dreadful
Disease to Two Girls
HEALTH AUTHORITIES STARTLED
Secret Investigation by Doctor
G. A. Jordan to Locate and
Quarantine Cases.

st. Louis, Feb 21.-Acting on in
formation received by the board of
health that two girls of this city are
suffering from leprosy caused by
wearing rats" made os Asiatic hair,
G. A. Jordan, assistant health commits
sioner of St. Louis, today began the
investigation of the sale of hair goods
here. The two victims are being
treated secretly and DR.. Jordan made
an effort to have them located and
quarantined The girls were employ
ed until few days ago in down
town store.