davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-01-23
Ba elk Numbers.

William" said Mrs. Van Gelder te the man of all work. Il want you to clean out that large closet in the bal just outside the parlor. Burn all the old newspapers, waste paper and any other rubbish you may find there"
 After a short time she met William in the hall carrying in his arms huge pile of sheet music the property of heI eldest daughter.
 What are you going to do with Ma bel's music?" she asked.
 "Why. burn it. sure, as you told nc to It was in the closet there with the other rubbish"
 But didn't mean the music. Put il back at once"
 Noting his mistress displeasure. Vii liam inquired in surprise:
 'Why. hasn't she played it all?"
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-01-23
Most Awkward.

An old. steady going farmer was ac. customed to ride to the market town upon rather bad tempered horse.
 One day his man Bob brought the animal, which was especially vicious .hat morning. to the door, the horse trying to bite and kick and giving a good deal of trouble.
 The farmer mounted the horse with some difficulty and began to walk it out of the yard when Bob. who still entertained i'll feeling against the ani- nal. picked up a stone and flung it at him with all his force: out, alas, his aim was cratic. and the missile struck his master on the head.
 Half daZed for moment. the farmer turned slowly in his saddle. and. not suspecting the real cause of the blow. he measured with his eye the horses hind hoofs and his own head and. set ting himself in the saddle again, started eff with the remark. Well, he esls was an okard beggar." ."-LondoD Scraps
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-01-23
Not . Success.

The manager of the subscription book department was telling of some Of hiS experiences. "rhe funniest case 1 remember" he said, was that of an applicant for job at book canvassins from whom l expected great things. He made a careful study of the litera ture we supplied him with and was very enthusiastic. Judge of my sur prise when the first morning he went out back he came and handed in bis resignation.
 But you should not be so easily discouraged, told him. Few make a success Ct the start, and you ac. Knowledge that you went into only two places.
 "'Oniy two he said iugubrious!v AOne vas q real estate agent. who per suatied He to sign | contract for tBo lote ia 9,iez}oAnrSt. and tae other was a tutor WAu seld me suit of el0th l dita wtut.' And. shaking his hpa2 mourn uily he mumbled Good day and went cut. t."-Lippincott's.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-01-23
TOWER OF LONDON.
The Perfect System by Which Its
 Treasures Are Guarded.

Tho Perfect System by Which Its Treasures Are Guarded.
 The Tower of London has the most perfect system of burglar alarms that has yet been devised.
 From Scotland Yard. from the gov. srnor's headquarters and from Othf places known only to a few respon. sible officials the whole Tower can be closed electrically within a few sec onds. Eveu the ponderous gates at the middle tower, wIfich weigh some tons and through which visitors pass. swing to automatically, and the escape of every one within is instantly barred. At the same time an alarm bell rings to warn wardens, police and soldiers. In particular the precautions in the apartment containing the crown jew els are of most scientifically elabo- rate kind. One of the beefeaters on duty in the room has merely to press . button, whereupon the heavy door closes, the alarm bell below rings, the other gates slam to and lock, and every person within the tower is instantly cut off from the outer world.
 '"The man who can get away with any of the crown jewels deserves them" observed Tower official. Prom where 1 am standing could close every important door and gate in the Tower in as short time as it takes to utter these words"
 It was mainly to insure the safety of the crown jewels that the system was installed.
 No order had been issued for the closing of the Tower on recent Sat. urday when. greatly to their alarm, the visitors found doors locked, bolted and barred against them for about ten minutes, preventing any one leaving the Tower.
 ",rhe Tower simply closed-that is all," remarked an official. ''Who caus- ed it to do so We do not know It might have been Scotland Yard. where the pressing of button would im- prison every soul within the Tower un. til ths police gave the signal for their release. or it might have been the governor, anxious to learn whether we were all at our posts. At any rate, it was none of the minor officials.
 Tn fact, who closed the Tower and why is a secret known o,lly to the highest authorities. There was no alarm, no attempt to seize tue croHD wels"-London Mail.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-01-23
Redundant Particulars.

Cleveland people consider the name of their town sufficient as an address without the addition of Ohio, and one protesting against the use of the name of the state tells story to illustrate the folly of redundant particulars. 1t reminds me-" be said. "of the fussy Englishman who went up to St. Peter and said. I'm from London And then, for fear the saint might mix him up with somebody else. be added, London England, you know That riled the good old gatekeepsr. From London, England. eh?' he said. Well, MT. Man from London. England, you're knocking at the wrong door. Your new address is Sheoi. Birthstone couu. ty. Dominion If Lucifer. "-Exchapge
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-01-23
MADE THE MOST OF IT.
Clever Tactics When William Quit
 Using Tobacco.

Clever Tactics When William Qui,
 Using Tobacco.
 An excerpt from Doris letter: And oh. Will, if you weren't the dear est boy! You often told me that you would do anything in the world for me, and now you write for my sake you've quit smoking. I'll have to wait until see you to tell you what a dear think you are"
 From Janis: You write that out of consideration for me you have stopped smoking for good That was just love- ly of you, William. and you may de- pend that greatly appreciate it."
 From Phyllis: Billy, boy, it's just ripping! You're the dandy kid. Just to think that you would swear off using the weed just for me! It was mighty dear of you, Billy, and it makes me all the more keen for you"
 From Marjorie: ITO think that you've quit smoking, William. l was so surprised. Of course 1 always knew that you care for me. but to think that. as you say, you've made this sacrifice on my account-why, it's positively noble of you!"
 From his mother: "Will. my son, this proves your love for me. Father is inclosing a check to show that he appreciates the fact that you think enough of your parents to give up smoking for them.''
 From his doctor: Your letter ad- vising me that you have obeyed my orders and stopped the use of tobacco is at hand. AS said, your compli- ance s N *"-Puck
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-01-23
The Gnu In the Zoe.

They've got a gnu in the zoo. Es a new gnu, That is to say, no one ever knew it there befors, When 1t arrived 1t had very little coat. Consequently 1t was in a state of gnudity; hence, this new ditty we are composing on the subject. But now 1t is no longer gnuoe. That new gnu knew some thing and grew new coat for the cold weather. If some people knew what that new Nubian gnu knew, they would keep their hair on.-,Londor ScrapS
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-01-23
Wouldn't Hano the Jury

An old negro named Ephraim. hay ing been sworn on the jury in q mur diet of guilty for no other apparent reason than his strong aversion to capi tai punishment in general. Finally the foreman explained to him that it was q question either of hanging the prisoner or hanging the jury and that it all de pended on him. "Fo' gracious, sah. replied Uncle Ephraim. lon dem req comments de pris her am sho' guilty"
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-01-23
TWO
Tho New Hoarcsr,

What did you say your name wasr inquiries the landlady in a hoarse whis per.
 Camp"
 Ladies and gentlemen. this is Mir Grant"
 She waves you to a vacant chair The young lady on your right drops ( half bow. The young gentleman to your left drops pork chop. Thus amid coveft Sneers, supercilious glances and genera awkwardness, you take your place among an alien people
 "A. hash house introduction always reminds me of minstrel show" de clares the humorous boarder. "Ba seated, genlieiBen; know each othe; and be acquainted"
 Whereat you must smile.
 "Chase the COW this way" continues the humorous boarder in time honored reference to the nilk pitcher, wherea, you must guffaw.
 You are always master of ceremo- nies." says young lady boarder to <he humorous one. "As for me, pn too timid"
 "Why are you timidr'
 "Oh, I'm so littlel'
 Sweet goods come in small pack. ages"
 "6o does poison"
 Fine old reparteel After dinner you ascend to your hall bedroom and won. der if you will ever be at home in this company. But you know you will. Within a month you will be lending money to the humorous boarder and perhaps have a love affair started Puck.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-01-23
,r the Hands of the Law.

An lmpecunious young lawyer re gently received the following letter from tailor to whom he was ,n. lebted:
 Dear Sir-kindly advise me by return mail when l may expect remittance erom you in settlement of my account Yours truly, J. SNIPPEM. The folloOsr of Blackstone immedt ately replies;
 Dear Sir-I have your request for ad vice of a recent date and beg leave to say that, not having received any retain CT from you. l cannot act in the premises Upon receipt of your check for $50 shah be very glad to look the matter up for you and to acouaint you with the results of my Investigations. am, sir, with great respect. your most obedient servant
 BARCLAY B. COKE Success Magazine.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-01-23
importance of Towels.

Do you fully realize the importance of the vowel 'e' in English? The in- scription, "Prsrvyprfctmnvrkpthsprcp tstn," over the Decalogue in an Eng. fish country church puzzled people for 200 years. Pepper 1t properly 'Sith ''e's" and you may read. Preserve, ye perfect men; ever keep these pracepss ten" Easy. isn't it?-Boston Globe.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-01-23
Perhaps.

"My wife is getting so she can cook "Yeu are prejudiced in her favor" No, l am not, She gave tramp a piece of pie last week, and he has been back for more three times"
 Perhaps he is after hero medal" Houston Post.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-01-23
MeHssf afoaern Man.

Whatever nay Uc s,,.d of the modern man, he cannot be said to be lacking ip modesty While the aneients cid thelr utmost to prove that they issued from the gods. We do our best to demon. strate that We have descended from monkeys.-Paris Journal
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-01-23
hercIv Ioc=i.

Young Thomas, afflicted with grses apple pain tn his midst thus explained his condition to his mother: "Motker, I've got an awful bad pain right h the middle of my stomach. but ths rest of me feels hneY-Lippincotte.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-01-23
.A Stro Reason.

.'You always speak kindly to you- wife," said the prying friend
 Always. ans yered MT. MeektnS II never think of giving Henrietta q harsh word
 Because you believe in ruling by gentleness: :'
 "No. Because self preservation i, the first law of nature. .'-Nashingtof Star.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-01-23
Tall anc: Short.

First Detecgive-W What was tie de. serintion os that ahScondinc hank t::shfer w2 We're told to look out for second netea7ive-He was six feet ta,. ond $a0oo0 Philadelphia Roe ord
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-01-23
Military Nalor.

wonder is it because men are Sll<,f towards In heart that they admir-. bravery so much and place mili.ar. valor so far beyond every ether qrai !ty for reward and worship ?-ThacN cray
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-01-23
The Mean Thinq.

"Why are you mad at her?"
 "I met her on the car today, and she Iaid. oh, let me pay your fare! and I said. Oh, you mustn't and she didAt" -Heustoo po0t
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-01-23
PILES! PILES. FILES!

FILES! FILES. EID10'
 Williams Indian Pile Ointment | cure Blind, Bleedlngs and lsF1 Piles. It absorbs the tumors' al'| itching at once, acts as a pou'.. gives instant relief. Williams 1nu., Pile Ointment is prepared foE .', and itching of the private para' ? by druggists, mall soc and $l'oV' Hams Mfg. Co.,, Prop ] Clevslan' Sold by McCammon k Sons.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-01-23

In this woEA one must be . nt9lI .Apo k1ul c bo kind sno1eA--a1a11 - ~a1rn sxea s: :,
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1910-03-17

hhS AciO"hiS blllo "eIt duulIeu, 10
wit:
Geo. Weller, salary and post
Geo. E. Boyle, salary ......... go 90
l.. A. Dusterhoft, salary. ....... 60 90
Francis Wagner, salary. ........ 35 90
j. V. Martin, salary. ...........6 5 90
Frank Gruby, salary. ........... 60 90
J. B. Egeland, SALARY ............ 60 90
First National Bank, Labor order 40
The Fair, merchandis. ........... 75S
Farmers & Merchants National
Bank, labor order. ............. 9 80
Farmers & Merchants National
Bank, express and freight. 49,. 7 OF
Webster Fire Department, rent. as 90
Ditmanson Bros, coal .......... IL 40
Potter, Garrick & Potter, coal. :. 9 80
Atlas Knapp, meals. ......... 2 90
j. B. Egeland, postage. . 200
Brown, Treacy & Sperry Com
pany, cash books. 3 90
Berwind Fuel Company, coal. 1850 OF
Kunz Oil Company, merchandise. 8 10
st. Paul Electric Company, mer-
chandlse IA 80
Moved and seconded that above read
bills be allowed. Roll call: Becht, yea;
Edmond, yea; Forbes, yea; Kading,
yea; Grue, yea. Carried.
Bill of J. V. Martin for serving sum-
mons was on motion rejected.
The following bills were laid over:
Northwestern Electric Equipment
Company, merchandise. ....... SO 60
Robinson, Cary & Sands Com
pany, merchandise. ........... 90
Long & Long, merchandise. 49,. Is rs
Moved by Aldermen Becht, seconded
by Alderman Edmond that report of
assessment of sewer be adopted. Roll
call: Becht, yea; Forbes. yea: Grue,
yea; Edmond, yea; Kading, yea. Car
ried.
Motion made and seconded that Audi
tor be instructed to advertise for bids
on coal for year ending April l, 1911,
and that April 4, 1910, be the time set
for opening said bids. Carried.
Petition from Chief of Police and
Street Commissioner for raise in sal
airy was presented,
1t was duly moved and carried to
raise their salary $500 per month.
Mr.. J. M. Halter and M. V. Crowley
appeared on behalf of the Webster Fire
Department and asked that the City
purchase one cellar pipe and one dozen
rubber coats.
Moved and seconded that the finance
committee look up the cost of same and
report at next regular meeting. Motion
carried.
Moved and carried that the city at
torney be instructed to collect from
Webster Hardware Company 1922
same being for repairs and labor done
by Dow & Dow for which the City paid.
v On motion the board adjourned.
- -. J. B. Fgeland,
Auditor.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1910-03-17
The Hustle For Votes
Becomes More Active
More Contestants Enter
All Parts of The County Mani
Testing INTEREST in The Great
Free Gift Contest.

In this issue is an announcement of a
special offer of votes to go to the con-
testants who bring in the greatest num-
Der of subscriptions during the next
two weeks.
Contestants will at once appreciate
the exceptional opportunity presented
in this offer of extra votes. Their
friends will rally to their support and
new zest and enthusiasm is bound to
prevail.
The regular number of votes will be
issued with each subscription. This of
fer simply means that a nice little
bunchyof extra votes will go to each of
the ten whoTsucceed in securing the
most subscriptions. These votes will
help materially, and may determine
much as to the final outcome of the
contest.
Not until the end of the contest is
anyone to know, except the winners
themselves, who receive the benefit of
these votes. Even those winning in
this special offer will know, at the time,
only their own relative positions. The
positions of each one, if divulged at all
before the close of the contest on Nav
9TH, must come from the one winning
the position and the votes that go with
it.
Now is the time for those who have
merely delayed entering the c9ntN-..--,,,0,
get start. To win in 4A'' special
means boost .r-~.c Will put anyone well
I'D witl~ene leaders. There are some
mo have hesitated, but they will wait
no longer, A real opportunity is here
and no one, who can in any
way avail themselves of the pleasures
attending the collection of subscriptions
and merchant votes will do no more
putting off.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1910-03-17
LUTHER LEAGUE CONVENTION
Large Number Attend Luther
League Convention in This
City Saturday and SUNDAY

The James River Valley Central Lu-
Their League held its annual convention
at the st. Johns Lutheran church in
ehis city last Saturday and Sunday. The
convention was attended by large dele
cations from Bristol, Bath, Aberdeen.
Hecla and Webster, : and amogg the
ministers present were Revs. Ole
Glesme and F. Praushaar of Aberdeen,
VIM. Wilderanders of Hecla, L. Ham
mer of Roslyn and o. o. Hafstad of
Webster.
Three sessions were held both Satur-
day and Sunday. The convention SER
mon was delivered by Rev. Weideran-
dsrs, his subject being taken from John
1913 This is my commandment that
We love one another as | have loved
you"
Papers on the following topics were
read and discussed:
l. Confirmation; What it means and
the Obligations of the Confirmed.
2. The Luther League as Factor in
the Educational Problems of the
Church.
3. Christians and Amusements.
a. Individual Responsibility.
5. The Augsburg Confession; It's
History and Synopsis of its Contents.
The music was furnished by the local
choir assisted by Mr.. B. A. Adams of
Bristol.
The convention was one of the best
ever held in this districts, and the dele
gates returned home filled with enthu-
siasm for the noble work in which the
League is engaged.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1910-03-17
APPLETON WINS GAME
Defeat Webster Girls In a Hard
Fought Game By a Score
of IL to Z.

In hard fought game of basket ball
played at Appleton Saturday the Apple
ton High School girls defeated the
Webster High School girls by a score
of IL to z.
The first half ended with the score 7
to in favor of Appleton. A rather
strict Interpretation of the rules during
this half resulted in Appleton securing
five points on fouls, and Webster secur-
ed three from the same source.
The team work on both sides during
the entire game was excellent. At no
time was there any appearance of a
slump, and the game was fast from
the start to the finish. The roofing at
times went beyond the bounds of good
taste.
The basket-throwing was somewhat
erratic on both sides. Webster secured
two field goals and Appleton secured
three. Two of these, however, were
due to the confusion after free throws
by Appleton.
The whole game was typical of all
that is best in school athletics. Altho
the score fails to show the relative
merits of the teams Appleton has an
excellent aggregation of players, but
after few games on regulation fields
Webster will prove worthy opponent
for Appleton or any other team in this
part of the country.
After the game the Webster girls
were entertained at concert and sup
per by the members of the opposing
team, and they speak in high terms of
the hospitality extended them by Apple
ton.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1910-03-17

Rev. Thos. Hoffman, of Pottsville,
Wis, has accepted call to the pasto-
rate of the Congregational church in
this city and will occupy the pulpit on
April third. The reverend gentleman
was recently married to a Wisconsin
lady. They will find hearty welcome
awaiting them in Webster on their
arrival.
Nick Schmitt, who for number OF
years has been connected with local
automobile garages will leave Sioux
Falls Monday for Washington Springs,
where he will take the management OF
a garage. Mrs. Schmidt and the child
rem will remain in Sioux Falls until the
close of the school year, when they toe
will remove to Washington Springs.
Argus Leader, Saturday.
Mrs. G. G. Ray and daughter Ruby
were arrivals from Webster Saturday
morning and visited with the editor
family. Grant went down to Ortonvill'
to look after business matters, return
ing to Ortley in the evening, and thu
three of them went to Summit Sunda.
morning to spend the day at the c. Z
Arnold home. -Ortley Optic.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1910-03-17
SPECIAL OFFER CREATES RENEWED
INTEREST In THE Big CONTEST

The following is the list of contest.
ants and their relative standings up to
last Saturday night:
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1910-03-17
A New Garage

A deal was made last week whereby
DR.. H. Herman became the owner of
the Catholic school building which he
will move down, town and use as an
automobile garage.
DIR. Herman has not yet fully decided
where the garage will be located. The
building will be remodeled and equip
ped with an up-to-date workshop, and
when the garage is opened up for bust
ness it will be second to none in ''-''
vicinity.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1910-03-17
Caught Passing The Booze

Last Friday Chief of Police Martin
caught Jas. McGarry in the act of pass
ing a bottle of booze to John Canning,
who is on the blacklist. McGarry was
Immediately arrested and taken before
Police Justice Harris, where he plead
guilty to the charge preferred against
him by Mr.. Martin and was sentenced
to five days in the county Jail. Canning
was also brought before rne Justice anu
received a fine of $500 and costs.
This is the second case of this char
acter which has come up within the
past month, and should be a warning
to the booze-passers that their move
ments are being watched. The city of
ficials will show no leniency to anyone
caught furnishing any person on the
black list with booze and the police
force has received orders to keep a
special lookout for booze-passers and
also keep a vigilant watch upon several
who are at present suspected of being
engaged in this practice.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1910-03-17
FAMILY THEATRE SOLD
Gus Breitkreutz Sells His Nov
ing Picture Outfit to S. X.
Leen of Watertowu.


"A deal was closed Monday by which
Gus Breitkreutz, who has run the Fam
lily Iheater the past year, transferred
his moving picture outfit and good will
to 5. X. Leen, who has had consider
able experience in this line of business.
Mr.. Leen comes highly recommended
both as a business man and a citizen.
He Informs us that the theatre will be
closed until April i, and will be tho
roughly overhauled, new machinery
and fixtures put in and the place put in
first-class shape so that when opened
for business it will be second to none in
the state. Many new attractions of
which he will tell you later will be ad-
ded. Mr.. Leen will move his family to
Webster as soon as he can secure a
suitable residence in the city.
Under Mr.. Breitkreutz's management
the Family Theater has prospered and
he has given the patrons of the house
excellent satisfaction. He is an old
hand at the show business, and from
the time he first took charge he made
every effort to give his patrons the best
that could be s. cured, and the large
patronage he received testified to the
fact that his efforts We're appreciated.
Mr.. Breitkreutz has made no definite
plans for the future, but contemplates
continuing his residence in Webster and
making this city his headquarters for
whatever line of business he may decide
to engage in.