davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-07-07

A missionary who was making his
way through backwoods region came
upon an old woman sitting outside a
cabin. He entered upon a religious
talk and finally asked her If she didn' t
know there was a day Of judgment
coming.
why, no." said the old lady; Il
hadn't heerd O. that Won't there be
more than one day?"
mo, my friend; only one day" was
replied.
We'll, then" she mused, II don't
reckon l can get to go for we've only
got one mule, and John always has
to go everywhere first. New York
Sun.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-07-07

In some parts of England one of the
best cures for swollen neck is to
draw a snake nine times across the
throat of the suffering one, after
which the snake is killed and its skin
sewed in a silken bag and tightly
sewed around the neck. Another way,
almost as good, is to put the live
snake in a bottle, which, is tightly
corked and buried near the roots of a
rosebush, and as the helpless snake
decays the swelling in the neck of the
patient will disappear.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-07-07

what makes that parrot SO pro-
fane?"
"Well, num-" answered the sailor
man, Il spose it's my fault. Every
time hear him speak bad word 1t
makes me so wild that he gets a
chance to learn lot Of new ones
Exchange.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-07-07
Jimmy uoInn,s sister.

A Buffalo youngster told the teacher
that his sister had the measles. The
teacher sent him home and told him
to stay there until his sister got well.
After he had skipped joyfully away
another boy held up his hand and
said: Teacher, Jimmy Dolan's sister
what's got the measles lives in
Omaha"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-07-07

ITS the first thousand dollars that's
hard to get"
That's right" assented the owner
of the garage. after you separate
'em from that, they'll loosen to any
extent Courier Journal.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-07-07
Later Particulars.

Macduff was laying on Justify.
81 don't allow any man to swear at
mel" he exclaimed.
For at that time there had been no
court decision to the effect that the
word used by Macbeth was not pro-
fame.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-07-07
Might Help Some.

TITS UP to you to do something to
help our Neighborhood improvement
Association"
I'm for 1t. I'll make my daughter
sell her piano. Plain Deal
er.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-07-07
Il Cures While You WALL.

Aliens Foot Ease is a certain cure for hot.
weating, callus, and swollen, aching feet. Sold
oy all Druggists. Price 25c. Don't accept any
substitute. Trial package FREE, Address
Allen S. Olmsted, LIE Roy, n. Y,
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-07-07
Consultation

For over nine years suffered with chronic
constipation and during this time had to take
an in lection of warm water once every az hours
before l could have an action on my bowels
Happily tried Cascarets, and today am a well
man. During the nine years before used
Cascarets suffered untold misery with internal
piles. Thanks to you, l am free from all that
this morning. You can use this in behalf of
suffering humanity. B F. Fisher, Roanoke Ill
Pleasant Palatable. Potent. Taste Good.
Do Good. Never Sicken. Weaken or Gripe.
1Oc 25c soc. Never sold in bulk The gen.
uine tablet stamped C C C. Guaranteed to
cure or your money back.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-07-07

Speaking for himself. a man rarely
says that competition is the life OF
trade. as II he really meant It.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-07-07

Bobby" said his mother, sit up
straight and don't tuck your napkin
under your chin. I've told you hun
dreds of times"
"There!" exploded Tommy; you've
made me lose the count! l don't know
now whether it's 256 or 356 times I've
chewed this clam!"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-07-07

No girl is entirely happy and salts
iCd with her lover if she continues TO
say her prayers during her engage
ment
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-07-07
A Fire Drill.

FIre DrIIIs
What kept you so late at the fac
tory?"
I'VE were having fire drill"
isn't that something new?"
''Nope; the boss was trying to drill
It into the heads of the men that If
they didn't improve the class of work
they were turning out they would be
fired Houston Post.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-07-07

Red, Weak, Weary, Watery Eyes.
Relieved BY Murine Eye Remedy. Try
Murine For Your Eye Troubles. You viii
Like Murine. 1t Soothes. SOC at Your
Druggists, Write For Eye Books. Free
Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-07-07

The chances Of sudden death are great
sr among men than women in the ratio of
one to eight
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-07-07

The next thing in order" said the
master Of ceremonies, referring to tho
slip of paper in his hand. is music"
mo, sir!" savagely whispered the
leader of the band. Not music! The
next thing Is Hail Columbia!'"
Taking his station, he scowled, waved
his baton, and the noise of the brasses
burst forth-Chicago Tribune
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-07-07

Mothers win find Mrs. Winslow's Soothing
syrup the best remedy to use for their children
Turing the teething period.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-07-07

Reporter-And the costly cargo,
suppose, became mere fiotsam and jet
sam"
Survivor-Y-yes sir: the crew flot-
ted some of 1t, l believe, and jetted the
rest of it-Chicago Tribune.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1910-09-14
AN EXACTING STANDARD.

One Of those self-nominated sarto-
rial authorities. whose errand in life
seems to be to foster the business of
the fashionable tailors, has made an
Illuminating statement. 1t is the ex-
cathedra and infallible judgment that
a man who does not go out much
can dress decently on $4,000 a year.
This leaves the more forcible. because
unspoken, dictum that he who aspires
to real social greatness must lavish
uncalculated and indefinite thousands
in addition on his raiment to meet
the requirements of social decency in
high society.
"Sartor Resartus" was famous over
half century ago; but even If its
satire is forgotten, it is possible that
this authority on clothes never heard
of it. Nevertheless. the social stand
ard it sets is pregnant. The passport
to polite society, which consists Of
$4,000 or more year to spend on
dress suits, morning suits, yachting
suits, golf suits and so on ad infini-
tum, would produce some significant
exclusions. Lincoln, whose raiment
at the best was a nightmare, would
of course be excluded from any circle
whose standard is sartorial. Agassiz,
who had mo time to make money!"
would be ineligible for lack of clothes
Emerson, who wrote to Carlyle of his
comfortable income Of some $500 a
year, would, together with his leonine
correspondent, who commanded no
such wealth, be condemned to outer
darkness. When we consider how
many of the men who have made their
impress on public thought could not
attain this social qualification we are
depressed with the restrictions Of hui
manity.
However, there is this consolation.
Since it is thus revealed that no less
than $4,000 will suffice to furnish mas
culine dress to the standard of fash
ionable decency, the great majority of
men will be obliged to give up the
useless struggle. For a mere per-
centage of that allowance they will
find it easy to make their clothing
meet the unitarian purpose of keep
ing warm, and the other one on ac-
count of which our first parents took
to fig leaves.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1910-09-14
X y = 4 + = 4 =
PITHY POINTERS

All the various and novel ways of
making money for a church are really
nothing more than new sugar coating
for the same old pill.
When a woman appears in the back
yard with the bed Stats, and pours
boiling water over them. that is proof
that she is an entomologist.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1910-09-14

T.of Premium Rewards for the purpose
LOT giving everyone an equal oppor-
tunity to receive reward for his or
her individual work.
We do not limit you to new sub
scripttons but will allow you the
same credit upon delinquent subscrip-
tons which you collect, upon current
subscriptions which you obtain and
also upon any advance payments
which you procure and upon new sub
scribers.
If you have few hours after
work in the evening there is no rea-
son why those hours should not be
turned to profit by acquiring a few
subscriptions in your neighborhood.
Your own subscription will count up
on the premiums Many school chill
dren are now earning from $1.00 to
$500 after school evenings. Many
societies are taking up the work and
will secure a piano for their meeting
places.
Call at the Evening Times office and
get receipt book. Begin with your
own subscription, then your neigh
bors and continue with every house
!
scriptions every night SO your sub
scribers will receive the paper as soon
as possible, thus helping you to get
more. Don't Forget 70 uGet Paid For
All YOu Turn In, either premium or
cash.
Following are the rules and regula-
tons governing the GREAT PRE-
MUM OFFER:
No. 1. Every person is eligible re-
CARELESS of age or location and their
own subscription may used toward Sc
curing premiums.
No. 2. Every person will win pre-
MUM even though they secure but
one subscription.
No promises or agreements. either
written or verbal. made by employees,
solicitors or others which are differ
ent than those printed in The Even
ing Times or literature sent out from
The Evening Times Office, will be
recognized.
No. 8. Four subscriptions for three
months each, or two for six months
each will count as one. yearly sub
scription. No subscription for less
than three months will be accepted
under this offer.
No. 4. Premiums will not be de-
livered until subscriptions are paid
for, but delivery of the Evening Times
may be started at any time and will
count toward a premium If subscrip-
ton is paid on or before November
is, 1910.
No. 5. Persons expecting to take
advantage of the premium offer must
so state at time subscription is paid.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1910-09-14
WEDNESDAY. SEPT. IA, 1910.
nsssiXHn
.HEis%S~
AN ABORTIyE ROMANCE.

The matrimonial misadventure of a
scion of one of the first millionaire
families which formed a leading item
in a days news recently. contains a
moral. He went across the water
earlier in the season to besrow his
hand and fortune on a charming light
of the operate stage. He returns, ac-
cording to the prevalent report, with
the enlightening knowledge that after
the lady got possession of the fortune
sne had no further use for its previous
owner.
This indicates that the operate life
can develop feminine fnanciering tall
ent almost as bold as that of trust
magnate or railroad stock waterer.
We have had experience of the results
Of alliances between American heir
esses and lights of the European no.
bility This case fills out the knowl-
edge OF the inspiring motive IN ro-
mances between gilded youth of our
country and continental artistes. Let
US recognize that there are honorable
exceptions; but it remains the fact
that the main inducement for social
ed mobiles and adventurous artistes
alike consists of the dollars of our
plutocracy
AS for the young man, if he is real
ly plucked so clean as the report in
dicates it may be the making of him.
If he has to go to work and earn his
living he may acquire the lesson that
there are more important things in
life than the pursuit of actresses
especially those of such strikingly ac-
quisitive genius.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1910-09-14

walls in every community a much
more intelligent understanding Of the
ends and aims of education than was
the case even ten years ago. Not
very much weight has been attached
to the wishes Of the public in educa-
tional matters in any of our large
cities; but the time has come when,
to secure the hest possible results,
there must be secured the cooperation
of the parents and the teachers.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1910-09-14
A GOOD CHANCE To
WORK FOR
YOURSELF
In the Evening Times Great
Premium Offer Plan
Start Today

The Evening Times has devised the
plan outlined on page six Of this
paper for the purpose of giving tn
eacn individual the opportunity to
receive reward exactly in propor-
tion 10 the amount OF work done.
You do not take the chance of
working eight weeks to he beaten
out by some one who has a few more
votes than You. If you do work
enough to obtain one subscription to
the Times you are paid for that work.
II you do enough work to Obtain fif-
teen subscriptions for the Times YOU
are rewarded by a gold watch bought
from your local jeweler and YOU are
allowed to select the make, size and
style. The only requirement is that
the cost must not be more than $50. 90.
Ii you do work enough to obtain fifty
subscriptions to the Times you will
be rewarded by a Diamond Ring
bought from your local jeweler and
You also have the opportunity of Sc
lecting the same. provided only that
the same shall not cost more than
$4,000. II you do work enough to
obtain 600 subscriptions to the Times
you will he rewarded with 1911
model, passenger Touring Car. Or
If you do not care for a premium YOU
can make good wages by receiving the
300 of cash received from subscrip-
tons secured by you.
There is no limit to the number of
prizes that any one person can win
and there is no limit to the number
of prizes that the Times will give
away. You may win a handsome
watch. diamond ring. piano and
also an automobile if you wish. You
may win two watches. two diamond
rings, two pianos and two automo-
biles or more if you get the required
subscribers.
We have inaugurated this system
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1910-09-14

Official paper Of Grand Forks County
and the City OF Grand Forks.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1910-09-14
A. E. Werner Of Boise City, Idaho,

A. E. Werner of Boise City, Idaho,
evidently is an enthusiast concerning
his state and its productions.
THE pitching of Walter Johnson,
the Idaho WONDER" said Mr.. Werner,
prowess.
1.-TWO years ago the trotting horse
Sonoma Girl was sold for $4,000 aft
er having achieved a worlds record.
She was an Idaho product, and was
owned and driven by John Springer,
a former sheriff of an Idaho county.
Talk about Rocky Ford cantaloupes,
those from the Payette valley are GER
tainly equal, If not superior, to the
Rocky Fords, and have just seen
where the yield of a 11O-acre field of
oats in the Twin Falls country was
1000. Potatoes-why they sell Idaho
tspuds' In the old world wrapped up
in tissue paper at so much each.
"The census report shows that Ida
no gained proportionately more in
population than any other state in
the union from 1890 to 1900, and this
percentage gain will be exceeded for
the last decade. Eastern money in
millions Is being invested in the irri-
cation enterprises with absolute sue
cess and safety by the investors.
"And in statecraft, her two sena-
tors, Borah and Hepburn, are a team
that we are all proud of. The former
is one of the ablest lawyers in the
United States. and l believe one OF
the future great men of the nation
Idaho is really what its Indian name
indicates. The Gem of the Noun
tains.'"
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1910-09-14
The Goddess Of Liberty.

That the women of American con-
slider Joseph E. Howard the most
popular actor of the day was proven
by the recent series of articles in q
Chicago paper which was followed by
voting contest, in which Mr.. Howard
led his nearest competitor by more
than $4,000 votes. Mort H. Singer,
under whose management Mr.. How
ard 10 appearing this season. says that
no further proof Of Howard's pop
ularity is wanted than In his selec-
ton Of wife. Mabel Barrison picked
Mr.. Howard from all the eligible men
Of the profession and no other woman
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1910-09-14
= = = sss = s.& I
WASHINGTON GOSSIP.
ss*s s,sess sss -

TON Watson continues to stir the
Georgia political pot and refuses to
permit the state to compose itself aft
er the recent heated campaign" said
G. Y. Bond of Macon, Ga.
Watson, who once was in con-
gress, and who later ran for presi-
dent says he Is going to force out
an Independent attempt to defeat
Hoke Smith, regardless Of the fact
that the latter was nominated in the
Georgia primaries. Watson also Is
after the political scalp Of Represent
alive Hardwick Of the Tenth district.
He promises an independent who will
fight Hardwick in the general cleo
ton, although the latter won hands
down in the primaries. 1t must be adj
has considerable following in Geor-
gia despite his off-ag'in-on-agin' ten
denotes. Recently he enrolled under
the Democratic banner, but Is now
inclined to kick over the traces on
account of the nomination of Hoke
Smith and Hardwick. Watson, a few
years ago. was, supporting both Of
these men.
80 determined is Thomas E. to
bring about the defeat of Smith and
Hardwick that he endeavored to per-
suade Little joe Brown, the present
governor, to run independently
against Hoke Smith after the voters
in the primary had signified their de-
sire to exchange Brown for Smith.
Gov. Brown, however, has declined to
listen to Watson's siren voice Of hope,
and insists upon being regular and
standing by the primary. Ditto
Browns campaign manager, whom
Watson also endeavored to persuade
Georgia ia torn by factionalism-
every one is a Hoke Smith man or g
Joe Brown man-but since Hoke won
out in the primaries. after being de.
feated by Little joe two years ago
the average Democrat is going tt
abide by the voice Of the people.
Nevertheless, Tom Watson is ere
ating quite a stir and is giving the
folks something to talk about in the
dull season. Nobody anticipates, how
ever, that opposition to Smith OF
Hardwick, in the November election
can accomplish anything since thu
primaries have spoken"
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1910-09-14
POOR WORK IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS.

Between the prevailing principle of
public school authorities that the
child should have superficial ac-
quaintance with many subjects and
the desire of practical parents that
their children shall be thoroughly
taught, the children in our public
schools, and especially in the gram
mar grades, are being overburdened
with work. The condition is a very
trying one to children who desire to
keep up with the class and who seek
to do earnest, thorough work.
There are signs that educators are
willing to modify their opinions upon
the question Of comprehensive studies
and are inclined to return to thorough
drill in smaller daily assignments.
There is no doubt that the school
course is overloaded in all of its de-
partments. Many things contribute
W LIAos anu Cu1cl du1OuS Llleul are tuc
specializing upon many subjects and
the privilege of election. Subjects
which now occupy prominent place
in the school course should be taught
incidentally, or. best Of all, eliminat-
ed. Too much is attempted, and
practically nothing is done we'll. The
dissatisfaction that parents and en-
ployers have long felt regarding the
product Of public schools is we'll
founded and can no longer be dis
missed as ignorant criticism, nor can
the matter Of public school education
be any longer empirically handled.
The parents and the people generally
do know something about education,
and while they do not wish to keep
pace with educators who are wander
ing in maze Of psychology in which
many have lost their way, there pre-
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1910-09-14

unusual for hundreds Of ladies to
gather at the depot and welcome this
Beau Brummel Of the show world.
The Goddess Of Liberty will be the
attraction at the Metropolitan on
Wednesday, septembre II.
The cast supporting Mr.. Howard
Is said to be an exceptionally strong
one with a magnificent shorup Of
over fifty beautiful singing and dane
ing girls. including the famous Prin-
cess dancers and show girls. =
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1910-09-14
SONG HITS ARE WORTH
FORTUNES, SAYS HOWARD

I need it. don't claim to be a high
brow composed. don't go to Ger
the good old United States all Of
my time. l don't try to write CLASH
cal stuff. There are lot Of better
musicians. than i to do that. try to
please the common people. to give
them sometfnnQ 70. sing and whistle
and play on. iui&tfs pianos. If can
make my audiehce forget their bust
ness cares, sway in their seats with
the rhythm of my music and leave
the theaters whistling my melodies,
am satisfied .;
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1910-09-14

look through Miss Barrison's eyes
when it comes to admiration for this
musical comedy faNorite. Howard
has all Of those attributes which ap-
peal to women. Handsome, generous
to fault. courteous at all times, pos
sessing a sweet voice and having the
ability to compose a love ballad at
a moments notice, what more could
woman desire? Mr.. Towards popu-
lartity has been evidenced at every
point. on the present tour of "The
Goddess of Liberty and 1t is nothing
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1910-09-14

Perhaps if singers paid as much
heed to the way the musical director
swings his hands as the engineer does
to the brakeman's motions, there
would be fewer vocal wrecks and COL
lisions.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1910-09-14

1t is expected Of a girl to cultivate
every talent with which she is endow-
ed, but all that a married woman is
allowed to cultivate is patience
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-10-25
QUAINT BALTIMORE
IN NEW SMITH TALE
Kennedy Square One Of
F. HOpkinSOn'S Best Nov
els, and Takes in Poe.

Baltimore once more appears in a
romance Of the Old South in a novel
by +. Hopkinson Smith, Kennedy
Square" which begins in the November
issue OF. SCri5ncr's.
Much Of the story centers about an
old square in Baltimore. a place where
giant magnolias filed the air with
their fragrance, and climbing roses
played hide-and-seek among the rail-
inEs of the rotting fence" The ro-
nance is set back some years before
the war. and it begins with a charming
picture OF the return Of a Southern
gentleman from a hunting trip and with
a dramatic incident that leads at once
into a refreshing love story Edgar
Allen Poe appears in one OF the chap
tiers.
Mr.. Smith creates an atmosphere at
the very outset. and this feature, which
made the Fortunes of Oliver Horn
so much admired. promises 10 make
his newest novel equally as popular.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-10-25
COLLECTOR ROBBED;
NEGROES ARE HELD
Insurance Man Attacked In
Douglas Court and Re-
lieved of S4.

Suspects" arrested and held for in
vestigatioa into the circumstances of
the highway robbery last night, Of
which Harry YeaEer. a collector. was
the victim, Will be taken to Police
Court tomorrow for preliminary ex-
animation.
They are Isaac Brown, twenty-seven
years old, and John Brice, thirty-two
years old, negroes, who live in Douglas
court Yeager identified Brice. but IS
not certain that Brown was one OF
the men
The collector worked in Douglas court
collecting the premiums on small in
Surance policies yesterday. He started
for his home about dusk. As he was
leaving the court, at II street, he was
set upon by two men
Yeager resisted. but was thrown TO
the ground. sustaining a wound on the
forehead While he was unconscious
his aSSailants robbed him of 81, which
was all the money he had.