davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1910-08-08
Bridge Luncheon.

Bridge Luncheon.
Mrs. Chapman, wife OF Captain
Chapman, y. s. A.. was the hostess
Tuesday at an extremely pretty
luncheon which was given In honor
of Mrs. Carrot and Mrs. George
Cleveland Bowen. Covers were laid
for ten. The large circular table was
adorned with white daisies and tulle
A large basket was filled with daisies
and partially yelled with tulle. Bow.
knots of tulle were artistically ar
ranged, caught with daisies. All tn,
guests present were enthusiast,
bridgers. After luncheon the gam,
of bridge was enjoyed. Those present
were Mrs. Chapman, Mrs Georg,
| Cleveland Bowen. Mrs. Manuel Gar
ret, Mrs. Pardee,, Mrs. Baldwin, Mrs
Williams, Mrs. John Hornberger
Mrs. Putnam and Mrs. Smith.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1910-08-08

the place card decorated with roses
lent added beauty to the table dec
orations. After dinner coffee was
served by thS gracious hostess.
Bridge whist was participated in dur
ing the evening, number of the
guests being expert bridgcrs. Among
Mr. and Mrs, Richardson's guests were
Mr., and Mrs. Jack Dowsett, Mr.. and
Mrs. Alexander Campbell. Mr.. and
Mrs. LAM. MIR. and Mrs. Frederick
klebahn, Mrs. Mary Gum, Mrs. u
FaSon Bishop, Or. Hodgins aud Mr..
Harry whitney.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1910-08-08

Lieutenant Robinson. who has been
stationed with the Thetis, left Satur-
day on the Mongolia for months VA
cation to be spent In California.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1910-08-08

Mr. and Mrs. Edward Watson. afte
several months sojourn on the main
land, returned to Honolulu Friday OF
the Sierra.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1910-08-08

Mr. and Mrs. John Livingston @
Oakland. Cal, passed through on IN
Asia, Nand visited friends while. N
steamer was in port
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1910-08-08

Captain and Mrs. Falls, u. S. A
have been spending this week up q
Mt Tantalus, but returned Friday d
their apartments at the Young.
The fool-killer., 1910-03-01
AN APOLOGY.

This issue of The Fool-Killer is
far from being what / had intend
ed to make it, and / must here ex-
plain the reason for it's many
shortcomings. I had sharpened
my pencil, fished a pad of paper
from my desk and was just ready
to begin operations, when-lo and
behold!-the announcement was
made that the Measles had come
to spend few weeks with us.
/ never like to work when we have
company, SO there was nothing to
do but lay aside the work of killing
fools and entertain the visitors.
BY the time all the victims of
measles got out Of bed'so / could
get my thinkery to work again,
the month of March was nearly
gone and I have been compelled
to fill this issue with a very cheap
line of stuph. And it is going to
be a tight squeeze to get this issue
ready to mail before March is
gone. Hereafter I hope to be on
hand earlier in the month and with
a better quality of CAB.
Get all your neighbors to sub
scribe-tell them The Fool-Killler
is the whole world of hot mustard
boiled down and put on a plaster
for the old sores of society, church
and state.
Hip! Hurrah!
The fool-killer., 1910-03-01
THE WIDOW.

Did you ever stop in your wild
scramble for wealth and fame long
enough to let your mind rest in
mingled fear and admiration on
that paradoxical piece of hetero-
geneous humanity sometimes re-
ferred to as a widow? Fearing
that you have overlooked this inn
portant case, I feel that it is my
duty to call your attention to it.
/ have adjusted the set-screws
of my imagination so it will ex-
actly fit the case, and now / pro-
pose to set down a few timely and
opportune facts in regard to the
widow. Ny intellect, as you may
have observed, is built on the plan
of a monkey-wrench. It can grasp
and squeeze the succulent juice
out of a small subject; or, if need
be, it can open out and embrace a
The fool-killer., 1910-03-01
THE TOWER OF BABEL.
Hip! Hurrah!

One time there were some peo-
pie who wanted to go to heaven,
and they got impatient waiting
for their wings to sprout: SO they
held a convention and agreed to
build tower with steps to it, so
they could climb up and jump in
at the back window of heaven
while Saint Peter wasn't looking.
Well, they bought a big red
hillside not far from the river
Euphrates, and they built brick
yard at the bottom of the hill. It
was the biggest brick-yard | ever
saw-and, come to think about it,
/ never. saw that one. But they
employed hundreds of hands and
made great piles of brick. Then
The fool-killer., 1910-03-01

couldn't please his wife better
than to wander off into the in
definite whence and leave her a
widow. My notion is she would
soon select another man to help
her enjoy her loneliness.
/ think this is enough informa-
ton about widows to last you for
a spell. If you want more, drop
me card.
The fool-killer., 1910-03-01

am War, the Desolator, final arbi-
ter of earth,
And make the earth to tremble
with my tread;
I rejoice exceeding greatly when a
man is given birth,
But cannot rest contented till
he's dead.
All, the smell of blood and powder
this is what my nature Graves,
And I love the pallid beauty of the
slain;
All thousand men are fit for is to
fill thousand graves,
Or to lie, mass of carnage, on the
plain.
From the ancient crude devices by
which Gaul and Roman died,
have taught men how to fashion
mlgnCy guns;
How to build the awful Dreadnaughts
that are every navy's pride
Fathers heaping up destruction for
their sons.
All, to me it matters little if men
arbitrate for peace,
When, behold! their swords are
CORY to the hilt;
And / laugh in loud derision when
they cry that war shall cease,
While they order greater navies to
be built.
am War, the Desolator, and point
with savage pride
To the seas of human gore that !
have shed;
And hold as less than nothing all
the armies that have died,
And the. hearts that have been
broken for the dead.
The fool-killer., 1910-03-01

they leveled off big piece of
ground two or three miles square
and begun to lay the foundation.
They got the foundation done by
and by, and started to build on up
toward heaven, but they didn't get
more than four feet the first year.
At that rate it seemed that their
wings would be ready for use be-
fore the tower would. But they
kept right on making brick and
mixing mortar, and the tower
kept rising inch by inch.
AS soon as one generation of
masons and hod carriers had died.
out, the next generation would
take up the work and carry it
along. In few hundred years
they had got it nearly as high as
the Washington Monument.
| Saint Peter looked out at the
windows of heaven and saw those
fellows on the tower coming right
on up. He left his post of duty
and gave the alarm. When the
Lord saw what the people on
earth were trying to do, He was
not much afraid they would ever
break into heaven that way, but
He thought He could save them
Igood deal Of useless work by GO
ling down and putting a stop to it
all. So the Lord told the stable
boy to saddle His best horse, and
He came galloping down through
the rifted clouds and confounded
the language of the people. That
is the reason some races of people
| have to use such confounded
language even to this day.
| After the Lord had confounded
their language, it was funny to
see those people try to work.
When the masons wanted more
lime the walters would carry up a
bucket of sand, and when brick
was wanted they carried up a load
of scaffolding planks. Then the
masons would take their trowels
| to the hod-carriers and knock them
off the tower, and they would yell
and fall fifteen or twenty miles
and light on their heads.
The misunderstanding got SO
bad that the workmen couldn't
, get anything they wanted without
, coming Gown after it, and then
they would forget what they came
, after, get them chew of tobacco
and go back to the top, only to be
cussed at in some foreign language
by the other masons.
That looked like mighty slow
progress toward getting to heaven,
but it was about as good as most
people are doing to-day.
The fool-killer., 1910-03-01

SuO]ecC OF any size, not even eA-
cepting a fat widow.
A widow is what a married man
leaves behind when he dies, to
squander his life-insurance and
provide his children with a step
father.
Widows may be divided into
two general classes-the old relia-
BILE relic of masculine corpse,
and the ex-wife, or grass widow
The latter variety is the most
fashionable in this enlightened
age Of divorce courts and alimony
| A grass widow is the female sec
tion of a matrimonial knot that
has come united. The word
grass is used to denote that
both parties to the contract were
green or they wouldn't have had
each other at the start.
| After she is cut loose from hel
Husband, a grass widow some.
times dries up, but she never
bushes up. It is more often the
case, however,, that she takes 1
second growth and weaves bel
tendrils around some poor simple
minded man who has never reall,
done anything to deserve sucl
punishment.
| A sure-enough widow most al
ways dresses in black for the frs
Iyear after the death of her hubby
IShe does that to show how sorr,
she is that she can't get married
again right off.
Philosophers have studied tn
widow ever since she first came il
| fashion, but they have never quit
understood her. She is the prob
lem of the past, the mystery O
modern times and the rebus o
the rising generation. She is th
young girls rival, the old maid
envy and the bachelors bes
| friend. Her smile is seasoned witt
the sop of experience, and the.
say her kiss isn't any amateu
affair.
The average widow is not sub
ject to any rules Or customs. Sh
is law unto herself, and in mos
cases she is also a law unto th
man she takes a liking to. Sh
throws her lasso over his head an
ropes him in before he has tim
to yell or get out of the way
Then, q little later, if she takes
notion she would like to be a wid
ow again, she can apply to the di
vorce court or the drug store an
get something that will produc
the desired result.
! Most all widows would like t
} be wives, and some wives are c
) the opinion that there is no eartf
Ily condition so blissful as that G
/ the widow. | know of man VIII
The fool-killer., 1910-03-01

Everything that appears in this
paper was written by the editor.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1910-10-01
FIRST DOSE WILL
END MISERY IN
STOMACH
Indigestion, Gas, Dyspepsia,
Heartburn and All Stomach
Trouble Relieved in Five Min
uteS With a Little DiapepSin,

AS there is often someone in your
family who suffers an attack Of midi
gestion or sone form of stomach
trouble, why don't you keep some
DiapCpsin in the house handy?
This harmless blessing viii digest
anything YOU can eat without the
slightest discomfort ana overcome a
sour, gassy stomach five minutes af-
ter.
Tell your pharmacist to let you read
the formula, plainly printed on these
5O-cent cases Of Pape's Diapepsin,
then you will readily see why it makes
Indigestion, Sour Stomach, Heart
burn ana other distress go in five
minutes. and relieves at once such
miserics MS B|elching Of Gas, Eructa-
tions Of sour, u|ndigested food, Nausea,
Headaches, Dizziness. Constipation
and other stomach disorders.
Some folks have tried SO long to
find relief from Indigestion and Dys-
pepsia or an o~ut-of-order stomach
with the common, everyday cures
advertised that they have &Dout made
up their minds that they have m
thing else wrong. or believe theirs is
a case of Nervousness. Gastritis, Ca
of the stomach or Cancer.
This, no doubt, is a serious mistake.
Your real trouble is what YOU eat does
not digest; instead, it ferments and
sours, turns to acid, Gas and stomach
which p~utrefy in the digestive
tract and intestincs, and besides poi
the breath with nauseous odors.
A hearty appetite with thorough di-
gestion and without the slightest dis
or misery of the stomach is
waiting for YOU as soon as YOU decide
10 try Pape's Diapepsin.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1910-10-01

gambling. II has found that we do
not need Il IN our business. Pcssimls-
tic admirers OF the old regime prophe-
sled that the southwest would be
dead when gambling Was outlawed
In New Mexico and Arizona. As a
matter Of fact, New Mexico and Arl-
IONA have forgotten that gambling
ever existed, have never missed for
an instant tho wheel and the table
and the other paraphernalia OF the
god Of chance, The sporting spirit.
a little Of which Is found In every
man. has found other ana more use
full and more wholesome channels.
The old-timers believed hat Albu-
auoraue would be dead" when gamb-
ling passed. II albuquerque is dead
She Is q pretty lively corpse; and
whatever conditions may have been
AZ any time since the passing Of the
New Mexico tiger, that deprivation
has had no effect. Mud TIE climina-
lion Of gambling in the two territories
has eliminated q formidable weapon
against statehood.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1910-10-01
FIRST GRADE CLERICAL
EXAMINATIONS WILL
BE HELD HERE SOON

The United States Civil Service
commission that on Feb
ruary 4, 1871, q first grade or clerical
examination viii be held at Alhuquer-
que, \. NJ, and at various other
places throughout the Twelfth civil
service district for the purpose of
creating lists Of cligiblcs from which
all vacancies in clerical and similar
positions in the Twelfth civil service
district, i'm the following branches of
the service and offices. viii be filled:
Customs service, internal revenue
service CLERK. deputy collector. and
storekeeper gauger). sub-treasury ser
vice. mint and assay service. custod-
ian service of public buildings. immi-
grafton service. steamboat inspection
service, marine hospital service, In
service, lighthouse service, navy
yard service, pension agency, bureau
OF animal industry offices. weather
bureau offices, engineer department
at large, ordnance department at
large, quartermaster's department at
large.
Applications and further informa-
tion may be obtained from the local
ccretary, board of civil service exam
liners at Albuquerque. y. M, or from
the secretary of the Twelfth civil ser
vice district, san Francisco. Cal
y. +. Philips.
Secretary Local Board civil Service
Examiners.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1910-10-01
a GOOD START.

The county commissioners arc TO be
commended on their action IN taking
zip the matter Of the plating Of the
county. The board has placed itself
on record as heartily IN favor OF the
work and BY a unanimous vote has i'm
strueted the county clerk 20 advertise
FOR bids on the job Ct surveying the
county and plating Il by precincts.
The commissioners, moreover, have
given an explicit promise that they
will be able TO furnish out OF the
county general fund the money to de-
fray the cost OF the work. The com
missioners IN taking this action have
wisely gagged the strength Of the pop
ular demand for this undertaking
And having set our hand 70 the theo-
dolite, there win be no turning back.
The majority OF the people Of Berna-
MIC county and an the citizens Of Al
buquerque recognize the pressing need
for this work. They know that Il VIII
not only secure the equitable
tien of every piece OF property IN the
county, but that Il viii IN the end
prove profitable and beneficial TO
every land owner. II Is a sh0rt-sight-
ed mar who thinks that by escaping
taxation Of his land he Is helping him
SELF. A farm or piece OF lrrigable land
that is properly classified, that has a
clear title. whose boundaries are de.
termined officially nnd which Is asa
sessed al its real valuation, appeals
much more strongly 10 "a buyer than
q tract OF untitled land or perhaps
which hoes not appear on the tax rolls
AZ an, The piatting OF the county viii
give m impetus 10 the development
Of the farming lands In this valley
will give q big boost 90 the sales
Of valley land TO those who win make
the best use Of them. Tho commits
sioners have admitted the necessity Of
the work and have wisely decided that
il VIII be a popular move and viii be
"a splendid thing for the city and the
county. They have made q first ciass
and Il IS 20 be hoped hat they
win push the enterprise right through
20 completion There rs apparently
now no reason why twelve months
more should not see the county of
1larnaiillo completely surveyed and
accurate official maps for the
of the public.
Tho starting Of the undertaking Is
"a demonstration of what can be- ace
complishod when a body Of represent
alive men 81 organized 10 speak With
authority for the community. Il is
another proof OF the fact that the orr
eaniSed Commercial club of Albu-
qucrque 'can do anything IL starts out
Go dc"
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1910-10-01
La WSRE TO TAKE
CHARGE At N0KI
INDIAN SCHOOL
Assistant Postmaster
General Leaves for Keam'S
Canyon to Assume New
Duties Immediately

A. l.. Lawshe, for some time past a
resident Of New Mexico and still hold
ing the position Of third assistant
postmaster general Of the United
States, left last night for Keam's can
yon Arizona, the site Of the big In
dian school and will take full charge
Of the affairs Of the Moki agency at
that point. Mr.. Lawshe came to New
Mexico some months ago for the
benefit Of his health and since being
here has been prominently mentioned
for the goVernorship. for a place on
the supreme bench ana for numerous
other positions. He resigned some
time ago as assistant to Mr.. Hitchcock
but his resignation was never accept
ed and win not be until he has taken
charge at Keam's Canyon.
~ have had so many fairy tales told
about me in the newspapers said the
genial Mr.. Lawshe yesterday, that |
want to give you an opportunity 70
say something about me that is alb
solrtely accurate. l leave for Keam's
Canyon tonight"
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1910-10-01
ruE NEW MEXICO DOCTORS.

Albuquerque cxtends ID cordial well
come this week 10 the members OF the
Sew MoSico Medical association on
the occasion Of their tWcnN-ninth am
nual convention ia this city. Tho re-
ports OF the officers show that the
association is stronger numerically
nud has greater influence than ever
before. and that les organized lnflu-
oncc has brought about legislation
which has resulted ia general rais-
ing of the standard OF the profession.
Progress is the motto of the med
ieos and they viii have tho support
Of the public iu their work for laws
which viii rodound equally TO the
benefit OF doctor and patient. whose
Interests as the president puts IL In
his address, are identical New Mex
ieo's physicians are "a nne body OF
men. Hero as elsewhere organization
and harmonious team work have gone
fer toward bringing about the ideal
and accomplishing real results.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1910-10-01

throughout the congress to pass upon
the anne
The correspondence Of the secretary
Indicates that the congress VIII be
the largest and most enthusiastic ever
held by the dry farmers. The speak
ers are among the most prominent
agriculturalists and scientists, and the
subjects chosen by them are all OF
great Importance to farmers. 1t will
be strictly a business convention
maintained BY dry farmers, and every
farmer who can attend should be
present throughout the sessions.
The dry farm products exposition
in connection with tie congress VIII
be held at the Interstate Fair grounds
IN conjunction with the fair, opening
on Monday morning at 10 o'clock n
continuing throughout the week. This
exposition Is to be held in the larS-
est tent ever constructed. and 1t VIII
be the biggest exhibit of dry farm pro-
ducts ever assembled. Several car
loads OF exhibits are coming IRON
Australia, Alberta, Saskatchewan,
Manitoba. British Columbia. Mexico
and nearly all Of the states of the
west. northwest and southwest IN
which dry farming Is practiced.
New Mcxico's Delegates.
Among the New Mexico delegates
who Will attend the congress al Spo-
kane VIII be Professor j. ID. Tinslcy.
formerly professor and soil expert at
the agricultural college and at present
agricultural demonstration I'm the field
for the Santa re railroad. Mr.. Tinsley
who has made q special study OF dry
farming win tell the congress OF the
progress Of scientific soil culture IN
New Mexico. Other delegates appoint-
ed by the governor are as follows.
Charles n. Blackwell, Ration; Pat
ricio Sanchez, Mora; DR.. 5. Locke,
Springer: T.. A.. Miera, cuba. NJ. NJ.
Chase, Cimmaron; G. De F'Orista, He
bron; Jesus Romero, Albuquerque;
Rudolph Miller, Dorsey; Il. J. n. Roy
Roy; n. A., Miller, Wagon Mound;
A, Fleming. Las Vegas; NJ. NJ.
Salazar, Springer; Howell Ernest,
Clayton; -. n. Hopkins ana A. IT.
Las Vegas; Felix Esquibal,
San Geronimo; w. II, Slaughter and
b.. Jones, Tncumcari; A. James
Mcdonald, Clayton; willard Belknap, |
Narayisa; Ramon Gallegos, San Jose;
II. -. ". Smith, Santa Rosa; Frank
Pagem, Buchanan; Charles a.
.scheurich, G. w, Worral, j. S, Ed
wards and r.. G.. Reid, Clovis: Celso
Santa Re; w. O. Oldham and
w. r.. Lindsey. Portales; John w
'orbett, M%ountainair; George II. Van
stone, Icstancia; NJ. r. Moriarity, Nor
arity; Frank +. Saeger. C%arizozo; w.
1. Ewing. Amistad; Ira O, Wetmore,
rularosa, and r. A. ~Tillinghast. Elida.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1910-10-01
Ayers Cherry Pectoral
Throat

These were the last Of the seven lux
urious excursion trains from tne lar
east going via the Santa re 10 tie
ccast CITY. The first train when ar
rived about 10 o'clock carried me
Philadelphia contingent, beng q
PENNSYLVANIA railway special Of eight
cars. The railroad representative III
charge being Tourist Agent Mccoy OF
the PENNSYLVANIA lines. All the lead
inc financial institutions in the
Quaker City were represented among
the seventy-five passengers and a.
usual. the feminine contingent was
much In evidence. The second tlaih,
also a Pennsylvania special, carried
elehty-onc New York bankers ana
their wives and families. The thlrd
train which arrived about noon was q
Santa Fe special loaded with repre-
s%entatives Of the moneyed interests OF
Chicago and vicinity TO the lumber
Of approximately Il hundred. Each
train made a stop Of about an hour
here. Albuquerque has been u OF
the CHIEF attractions to all the tourist
bankers and they have all enjoyed 70
the full every minute of their stay III
this city. Local representatives Oh
the Santa Pc, the Harvey system ana
the local banks awe extended every
courtesy to the visitor and Albuquer-
que has secured some good adNertls-
ing. 1t has been noticeable moreover
that these business men of the east
have been very busy asking questions
about New Mexico and her resurces
at every station along the line. They
all appear to be enthusiastic over
what they have seen in the southwest.
lot. ...Y. L / y n Aprnl1 of tho
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1910-10-01
THE DOOM or rIIE TIGER

For the first time in the history 81
Nevada She strong arm of the law has
camped the I'D ON the gambling dens
oi that state.
This meant the final doom OF the
tiger. From state Go state the har-
assed animal has been driven and
prodded and pushed and b%elshored
and after "a last stand in his desert
lair. De has reached the finish. The
cd beast has died hard but IL o. eyi-
Dent that bis day is over His follow
ers some Of them. profess 20 thiuk
that a reaction viii come in "a few
years from the 'pious unve but
their hopes Ne believe. are baseiess
Gambline. Tor q half century a pie
turesque feature ~ the great west. 81
gone. The tiger IS not BAL "a state Of
coma and b. IS not sleeping. hut Is
defunct dead. nleiess Ills old haunts
with know him 90 more
The FACT Is that the west Is tired OF.