The wageworker., 1910-05-13
SHE COULD KEEP
A SECRET
By Ell BERT 7. BENTLEY
Copyright. 1910. by American Press
Association

"Fve got the confoundedest wife you
ever saw
"What do you mean by the word
confoundedest? 1t conveys no mean
ing to me-"
That's the reason apply 1t to my
wife. She IL beyond the pale Of defini-
ton"
'Do you use the word opprobrious-
lyT"
"By no means. She's Jim dandy"
"Oh. you've got something on your
mind-something she has been doing!
Get it Off and have done with it,
fright you are. and when We told
you you'll agree with me that con-
foundedest is the best word by which
to describe her. You knew we live in
the country and I'm eommuter. My
monthly Communication ticket costs the
$24.5O. l have always been used to
carrying my ticket in my hat. It's
very convenient. you know. place
it between the lining and the crown.
If put it in my portemonnaie. which
carry in my hip pocket when I'm
lug " lut TRAIN iOdOeu OOW II Will
the bundles which all commuters are
condemned to carry. have hard
time getting it out from under my
coat If 1t is In my hat l can get at
It very easily. There's ferry at the
city end Of the route where the ticket
must be punched. Formerly COM
muters were only required to show
their tickets. and we used to just lift
our hats to the gateman. and he
could see the ticket 1t was cOmicai
to see long line Of passengers taking
off their hats politely to the gateman.
But the practice must have concealed
some skullduggery. for the officers
Of the line stopped 1t. and now we NIL
must have our tickets punched.
Anyway. I always carry my ticket
in my hat. Well. one morning when I
went to the city felt for my comrlu-
one I'd just bought. and its loss In
volved nearly $24. Thinking ! might
have put 1t in one Of my pockets.
ransacked them all. 1t wasn't in any
of them. searched sthe floor. but
there was nothing there. At last
gave IT up and paid my fare.
my wife Is d very economical wO-
man and considers me the perfection
of carelessness knew II told her of
my loss she would scold me for both
wastefulness and carelessnes. made
up my mind to get ON the best could
for awhile. paying my fare out of the
loose change | carried till the end of
the month. when l would buy a new
ticket. 1t was no use. few morn
ings after my loss as l was going out
my wife gave me the customary kiss.
at the same time handing me my hat.
She looked inside and. not seeing the
ticket. felt for 1t.
"'Why. DEAR she exclaimed. I
thought you always carried your COM
mutation ticket in your hat
II was obliged to confess I had lost
it. MY wife said: I told you so. If you
had kept II in your pocketbook.. as
always advised you to do. you wouldn't
have lost 1t. There's $24 gone. enough
to buy me spring hat with three big
ostrich feathers
II buried away. ostensibly to catch
the train. but really to escape u scoid-
ing. and since 1t would be cheaper to
commute even with the loss OF four
days than to pay single fares bought
a new ticket. kept it in my pocket
book in my hip pocket with a lot Of
memoranda. cards. etc. my cash for
daily expenses being In my vest pock-
ct. had no trouble for n month. when
l bought another ticket. On the 4th of
the month when was getting ready
to go to the city clapped my hand to
my hip to make sure my ticket was
there. and. behold. portemonnaie. tick
ct and all We're gone. Somebody must
have picked my pocket.
II thought my wife would cry. 'Fif-
ty dollars gone In two months. she
moaned. We're going right down into
the poorhouse. Why will you be 30
carelessy
"'If I'd kept it in my hat snap
ped. 1t would not have been lost. !
put 1t where you told me to put it. and
there you are
"'Go and buy another one she said.
| We can't afford to have you spending
forty or fifty dollars month to save
$24'
"Well. to make a long story short. In
six months l lost five Communication
tickets. What had brought about such
bad luck l couldn't tell. Id cOmmuted
for seven years and never before lost
q ticket. Thinking some one might be
robbing me-some of the servants-l
told my wife when lost the last tick
ct that was going to put a detective
In the house.
"'My DEAR she replied. If say
something to you will you scold meY
"'Certainly not. pet: fire away
"'Well. I've been robbing you Of
your communication tickets
| Il nearly fell in faint.
"'You know Tom Edwards. financial
man for B. & Co. Well. Tom gave me