The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1910-09-01
TRUE STORY OF
THE ELLIS BEARD

There has been considerable guess
work at various times by the polite
| ians and press of the state as to the
reason why Congressman w. k. Ellis,
of Pendleton, who represents the Sec
ond district of Oregon in the Congress
of the United States, removed his
whiskers which for so many years
were an adornment Of his capacious
| front. When Representative Ellis Wis
| tied Hood River the other day the mat
ter came up again but no satisfactory
explanation was Forthcoming until af-
ter the friend of Uncle Joe Cannon had
left town when a Hood River man who
visited Washington last winter came
forward with the story of the loss OF
| the hirsute decoration as he had heard
it at the Capitol.
1t seems that Judge Ellis was a
guest at one Of the dinners in Wash
| ington and the hostess had placed him
beside a singularly charming and very
frank young lady. The young lady
had not been in Washington long and
had not come to revere the beard Of
the Oregon statesman in the way that
/ his older acquaintances had. She
really admired the whiskers but there
was question with regard to them
which worried her considerably and
| finally she could not withhold herself
no longer and she bubbled out her
question.
Judge Ellis, very greatly admire
man with whiskers, but will you tell
you tell me what you do with your
beard at night?"
The statesman at first thought that
she was insinuating that the whiskers
might be false and, seeing the look OF
amazement in his eye, she quickly ex-
planned that the question which both
cred her was whether his whiskers
were under the covers or on top when
he slept. Then it was up to the con-
gresham to do more hard thinking
than was necessary for him to do in
deciding which way to vote on the
tariff bill. He thought for consider.
able time and finally he acknowledged
to the young lady that he really did
not know which side of the covers his
Whiskers were on when he slumbered,
"Now, Judge Ellis, that is very
funny and | am much Interested
Please won't you remember and see
where they are Whens you retire this
evening and then tell me what you dc
with them.
The polite Pendleton politician was
still puzzled but by this time he was
becoming almost as curious as the
young lady and he promised that he
would tell her the answer.
The dinner dragged through for the
Congressman as he was wondering
about the Whiskers and when the party
broke up he hastened to his apartments
to retire as soon as possible in order
that his mind might be relieved. lie
went to bed and jerking the covers
over him his Whiskers were under the
blankets. He lay there quietly for q
while but he did not feel just right anc
he pulled out the whiskers laying them
carefully out on the spread. He was
quiet for few minutes and then he
began to twitch and move restlessly
about in the bed. He put the whiskers
back under the covers and then at two
minute intervals he changed them
back and forth for half an hour OF
more not being able to decide which
way was the natural place for the
Whiskers.
Finally with a few very emphatic
remarks about curious young ladies
Congressman Ellis threw the covers
from the bed and turning on the light
began reading the first thing he founc
which happened to be the Congress
iona Record. He read vigorously un'
til morning and then hurried to the
nearest barber shop, where he had his
beard removed. He offered no excuses
for removing the beautiful alfalfa bu
he became confidential with sOmC
friend who it seems became confiden
tial with other friends.