The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-07-06

 THE MAN WHO ROSE AGAIN" .....by...... JOSEPH ROCKING Copyright, 1909, by George Il. Doran
 Company
Copyright, 1909, by George Il. Doran

eeeeeooeoooeeeteeae eaeeeo06toteoeooeSN . ne. did not come here lightly, neither am I speaking meaningless words This afternoon will be crisis in my life, and if there is a God. He knows be-"
 Again she was silenced. The strength of the mans personality was although she did not know it. bending her will to his On the other hand she was exercising no power of resist ance, and she was interested to know what he would say
 'I do not know that am an ath- eist," he said. Indeed, I have some mind that there must be a God. and that this life is only a fragment of life as a whole. but that is not often That is no wonder. I was brought up to believe that there was no God. was trained to distrust every one. and to look for evil motives in every life. believe my father meant to be kind in doing this for me: anyhow I am a result, at least in part, of his training. !
 Please do not misunderstood me; l am not growing maudlin nor senti- mental, I am simply stating facts. ] went to Oxford. and while there. my fathers training was confirmed. ac- centuated. I suppose I had my abili- ties. and was informed when I took my degree that my career there was well, more than creditable. I did the usual thing when I was three or four and twenty I fell in love-
 Really. MT. Leicester" said Olive, "there can be no-'
 ''It was the fancy of boy" went on Radford, as if he had not heard her, ''and it did not last long. She tilted me in a very ordinary fashion. and my heart-wounds were not deep. All it did, think, was to confirm my early impressions about woman's love. Since that time have avoided women. Yes, I speak quite sincerely, I have avoided them. Despising them. neg lected seeking the society of women altogether. I have lived mainly at my club. so that I might not be brought in contact with them. You will naturally ask, if you are interest ed in me at all. what have lived for. I quite realize that every man must driving force. and have had mine. It is very poor. very mean in your eyes. no doubt: but I will tell the truth. My drivirg-power has been ambition. Rightly or wrongly. many who know me believe I have gifts above the ordinary: they have told me that if I will. I can have a notable parliamentary career. Possibly they are right-I do not know. But l realize. even in spite of my creed. that the motive is insufficient. Besides. cannot help laughing at the whole politics- world. The great bulk of our political magnates have no sense of humor, but they are irresistibly funny nevertheless. I can see that they are only pawns in the game. although they think they are of great importance, and then-''
 He stopped. and took two or three steps towards the window: then he re- turned and. leaning his elbow on the montelpiece. went on speaking.
 'I have been wondering during the last few weeks whether I have not been blind to a very real world" he said. ''This I know: I have been simply longing to believe in things the existence of which I have denied ] have wanted to believe in a final Will final Beneficence: I have wanted to believe that we are not the playthings of a blind chance. and that what we call disorder and dfscord are but the preludes to a divine Harmony. With that longing has come another and this is a selfish longing. It is to play something like a worthy part on the stage of life. Sometimes this long, ing scarcely exists; sometimes it grows strong and clamorous. There are times when I believe that I, even I, can live life that is really worth the living. This belief is only a new born child. It is sickly. and lacks vitality. but it exists.
 "No, no, bear with me a few minutes longer. I know I have chosen a poor subject to talk about, but then I con- fess myself to be an egotist. I, like every other man. regard myself as the only person worth talking about; So please forgive me. But do not mis- take me. I do not pose as a good man, or worthy man. I still doubt whether such exists: but there are times when I have strange longings, and these longings sometimes, though rarely, become a kind of belief that I, worthless. faithless as I am, can live life which is worth the living.' He was silent a few seconds, and seemed at a loss how to proceed while Olive Castlemaine sat, scarcely realizing the true condition of affairs at the same time feeling the master fitness of the man who spoke to her Perhaps you are hardly interested to know the reason for this," he went on, nevertheless I must tell you. Yor are the reason"
 Olive glanced up like one startled. "I, MT. Leicester?'
 "You I have not learnt to believe in goodness generally, but I believe in your goodness. I have not learnt to believe in women, but believe ir a woman. I believe in you. And believe in you because I love you" He spoke quietly, and there was nc trenior in his voice, but his face was if possible, paler than usual. That he was deadly in earnest no one could doubt