davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
Prize for Happiest Horse.

Not content with Offering prizes for all
kinds OF human endeavor Philadelphia
comes TO the front with the novel propo-
sition Of treating the animal family in
a similar way. Frank b. Rutherford. sec
rotary Of the Pennsylvania branch OF the
Society for the Prevention OF Cruelty to
Animals. has announced that his organi-
cation will give prize OF $40 for the
winner OF a happy class" in the work
horse parade soon to be held. Mr. Ruth
erford contends that horses. like humans.
can be happy even when doing disagree
able tasks, II they have the proper dis
position.
"A horses job has n lot 10 do with his
happiness and jovlalty." IS the belief Of
Mr.. Rutherford. Some animals. accus-
toned to heavy work, are only contented
when they are ploddng along: while
others are Of such a disposition that they
can accommodate themselves to any kind
Of effort and still not lose their good
nature. Some draught horses baIk when
drawing a light buggy. and some small.
underfed horses labor along painfully
under a heavy load, without the least
bit of resentment
In order 10 acquaint the drivers and
owners OF horses with the temperament
OF their charges. the society invites all
lovers OF horsehesh 10 be present at the
parade and gather information which can
be put to use I'm each individual case.
The judging will be according TO general
appearance, disposition. condition. groom
ing. biting. hitching. shoeing, and han
ding. The judging Of the merits Of the
various animals is expected 20 be simple,
because the horse will show he is not
happy If he acts peevish after being
properly groomed, bit,ed, shod, handled.
and conditioned.
Real humanitarian interest VIII no
doubt be aroused. The horse OF keen
discernment will know. he is on parade.
and Will do his best, as It is known that
race horses often do. They strive for
victory. And in this case the wise horse
will strive for merit marks in the deport-
ment class. That the judging is likely
TO create injured feelings goes without
saying, for when one criticises a horse
the animal is sure 10 feel resentment and,
no doubt, much envy will be in evidence
when the award is made
II this primitive effort in the line OF
awarding prizes 70 animals for showing
la happy mood Is successful, it will be
/ proper to have the next contest for bull
dogs. wildcats. bears. and other mem
/ bers OF the animal family whose dispo-
/ sitions could well stand improvement
After the animal kingdom has been
/ brought into its happiest mood by the
| offering Of rewards, better return to the
] human race. There are such classes as
the insurgents the undesirables. the
grouches at the ball game, the suTra.
! gettes. the knocker in every walk Of life
all OF whom might become useful CHI
zeus If proper inducement were held out
Why not organize an optimist club ant
/ forcibly bring in the malcontents OF al
classes and descriptions
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
A RAY OF HOPE,

Il Is distressing % note the in
creasing vulgarity Of some plays.
but thank goodness. We can still
take our kids TO the circus without
danger Of any greater dcm0raliza-
ton than is offered by the good
oldfashioned peanut and pink
lemonade stomach ache.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
GETTING 1T DOWN FINE.

II has been suggested that as
this is an age Of compression. re-
duction. short cuts. conciseness. and
simple expression generally Of our
necessarily Etep-lively mode Of life.
American patriots and their foreign
friends-iu-need might be satisfied
hereafter 20 take homage in tablet
form.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
An Object Lesson

From the Newark Star.
Mr. Jones-Im going to bring Young
Yabsley home 20 supper tonight.
Mrs Jones-Why we haven't a thing
20 eat IN the house, the cook is intoxi-
Gated. baby has the collie. and mother IS
coming
Mr.. Jones-Yes. that's why I'm going tc
bring him home. The young fool Is think
ing OF getting married.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
A TIMELY SUCCESS lion.

Now that Jefrics has written
my Story Of Ny Life" and
Christy Mathcwson's baseball ex-
pcriences are out in book form. II
would be cmipontly proper for JACK
johnson 70 begin work on "Jails I
Have Visited and Why"
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

Roosevelt VIII Talk" reads a headline
in the New York Evening Post. Certain
" he will, whenever the spirit moves
him, and then some. But we hardly
thought the Post would consider that
real news.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
Mysterious strnngers.

Fine liner you have here, captain"
Pretty fair
Chilly passenger list, though. Three
days out and nobody will speak to any
body else"
We'll / guess these fellows are all 60
ing over TO meet Roosevelt"
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

I have done as much for the party as
John Sharp Williams and Champ Clark, d"
says Representative T. w. Hardwick
who is a candidate for reelection to Con-
gress. When in Washington, Mr.. Hard
wick surely must hide his light under a
bushel.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
NO LONGER A PENNY.

Simple Simon met a pleman. going to the
fair:
Said Simple Simon to the pieman: Let
me taste your ware"
Said the pieman to Simple Simon: Hand
me first your dollar;
The cost of living has gone up; it amt
no use TO holler"
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

Fishermen complain that the fish are
not biting. on account Of the backward
ness Of spring. All fishermen should be
optimists, however, and remember that
the mosquitoes also are not biting
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
A KIND OFFER.

Jimmy McAleer has offered the
freedom a the Washington Base
bah Park 20 the Optimist Club.
The motto Of the club is Let's
help" and help is what McAleer
needs.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
SORRY FOR HIM.

Baron Ochsenreiter. Of the city
post-ofice. SAYS he regrets very
much 10 see his name associated in
The Big Stick with those Of such a
pair as Shoemaker" Fred Hahn
and Sam Hart.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
In Real Life.

'She has referred me TO her father
''Weu don't be afraid of him"
I'm not. Experience has taught me
that when a girl refers you to her father
she merely wants 10 let you down easy.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
4 Maybe Month.

II may be wet, # may be dry,
BE cold or warm to-day.
] guess that is the reason why
They call II May.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

AS this would greatly lessen the porter's
tips. and thereby force the company per-
haps, 20 pay him a living salary, we con-
clude that there is nothing whatever in
the report.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

There is one Office. however, 20 which It
has not been suggested that Mr.. Roose-
welt will be elected when he returns to
this country. We refer TO the ancient and
honorable Vice Presidency.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

An Ohio man. ninety-six years old, has
just walked from Cleveland 10 PhiladeI-
phia. In all probability this wonderful
country abounds in hearty old fellows OF
the Weston persuasion.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

The world is growing better" says
Mr.. John D. Rockefeller. Mr.. Rockefel-
Ter should be immensely gratifed that it
is so. In view Of the fact that it is large
~ his world
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

An Indiana man, shopping for the first
time recently with his wife. was killed in
a bargain rush This shows the evil
effects OF lack OF training.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

Perhaps the crowned heads Of Europe
once intimated 10 Mr.. Carnegie that they
would not stand for his libraries. and he
is taking a horrible revenge by sending
them dlplodoccuses.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
A PARADOX.

The man who gets job by 20
litical pull always talks about his
special fitness" but the man who
rises through merit is fond Of re-
ferring 70 his influence.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
The Deadly Parallel.

From the Austin Statesman.
Rear Admiral schley sin stands stanchly by his
friend. Dr.. Cook, and declares 10 would take more
than Archmedean 20 move him. Archmstes is
the fellow who couldn't move the world with the
lever because he bad no place on which TO stand.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

Defeated in the recent elections, Count
Boni de Castellane says he will retire
from politics" Boni has not the foresight
OF some Of our American statesmen. evil
IDENTIFY.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
Working Up.

'Neighbors called on you formally as
yet?''
mo; they haven't borrowed anything
bigger than a lemon squeezer."
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
PROLONGED It's Existence.

See that 81 check said the poet. Ten
years ago your magazine sent me that
check for a poem. ] had 1t framed"
Then II was never cashed?" inquired
the publisher.
mo"
Now 7 understand why that magazine
lasted a week longer than we had ex-
pected.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
A wonder worker.

From the Boston Transcript
Sapleigh-Ah. speaking Of electricity that
makes me think
Miss KCen-Really, Mr.. Sapleigh? Isn't
it remarkable what electricity can dor
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
HIa Chnnce

7 wonder If Nero really fddled when
Rome burned"
Maybe he did. Maybe It was his first
opportunity 20 hold an audience. He did
his specially while they watched the
fire
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

Man" AYERS Col. Drift" Armstrong,
Of the Montgomery Advertiser, who was
married only last week, is a good deal
Ike a lobster"
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

Perhaps the most unfortunate thing
about the new King is his name" says
the Rochester Herald. Nonsensei Ex-
hibit A among all our Presidents was
named George.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
PEOPLE THINGS.
Inst Words of Monarch..

Inst Words OF MOnarchs.
King Edward VII know this is the
end. Tell the Queen.
King Charles V-Ay-Jesus,
Charles I Jas ne laid his head on the
block)-Remember.
Charles II-Don't let poor Nelly starve
referring 20 Nell Gwynue the actress
- Napoleon-Mon Dieu, La nation Fran
caise-tete d. armee.
Richard Occur de Leon-Youth. I forgive
you. TO Bertrand de Gourdon. whose
arrow killed hlm)
Louis NVI-Frenchmen, 7 die rulltIess
Of the crime imputed 20 me Pray God
my blood fall not on France. II So
(and the knife Of the Euiliorine felD.
Marie Acknowledgement my chill
dren, forever. 80 70 your father.
Frederick the Creative are over The
hill We shall 50 better now. CSpoker
after final III Of coUghiugJ
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
How IL Hnpnened.

Seems 60 me 7 occasionally hear your
daughter play strains Of classical music %
Yes. indeed They're setting some OF
the old classics TO ragtime."
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

The census is a democratic undertaking.
In the philosophy Of the enumeration. one
man is Just as big as another.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

Senator Dick viii have no opposition
within his own party for reelection to
the Senate. Ohio must be feeling its
Democratic oats this year.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

As soon as the Baptists assembled in
Baltimore. It quit raining. Some more Of
the comets work2
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

means we'll" says the Ohio state Jour
nal Whenever criticism of a man re-
duces itself TO just that he is "an in -
sure
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

Dolly Madison Is said TO have in
vented ice cream. Dolly" was a sweet
summer girl. of coursel
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

People who are too polite 10 suggest that
So-and-so stands no more chance than a
SNOWFALL in h" might compromise by
saying no more chance than a stand
patter In Iowa"
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

Over in Korea recently Mr.. Wun was
shot and killed by Mr.. Ten. And yet
Mr.. Ten had nothing against Mr.. Wun.
WaI2
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

For that want feeling.
get up one morning at > p. X. and try TO
find it, Cure guaranteed permanent
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

There IS man IN Texas who objects
to being called colonel" notes the Spring
field Union. Wishes 10 be called general
OF course
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

Whatever the main object Of the
Kaiser's life may be hereafter. it is not
going TO seem like old times.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

Every time Mayor Gaynor is referred
to nowadays as Tammany mayor It IS
a fine ad for Tammany. all right
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
Tight Collars.

Did you ever hear Of DR.. Walter q
Walford? Probably not. but Just the
same he IS an eminent English authority
IN certain branches Of the practice o.
medicine. He is mentioned here because
Of an article from his pen. appearing in
an English medical journal. The Hospital.
which states that he has come 70 the
conclusion that many disorders OF the
body are brought about by the wearing
too tight collars. He has, he says. bene-
fitted 20 a marked degree BY wearing loose
collars. and attributes his recent freedom
from headache rheumatism and equity
manifestations % collars that are severa!
sizes too large Tor HIS shirts Dr. Wal
ford also tells OF various other persons
who. % his certain knowledge. have en-
joyed great benefits. owing 10 the adop-
ton Of low or loose neckwear His evil
dence seems convincing and thoroughly
sound In its teaching. but we are stu
unconvlnced. Time may show that the
doctor has made a important discovery.
and time alone VIII tell the tale. How
ever. the chances are that II viii be more
difficult 70 make a man whose collar
IFS justly a Il wear a Il for the better
ment Of mere health. than 10 convert his
better half 20 the anti-corset brigade
said chances being about nil
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

o. J. Field. o. the department
n WiCEersLlm. Says he went %
the circus 90 please his little girl.
but o. J. was more demo1strauve
with his applause than the child.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

Sitting in the press gallery q the
House. Maurice Splaiu says be IS
constantly reminded q PuOr's line:
They always talk who never
think"
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
THE PHILOSOPHY OF
FIFTEENTH STREET

Pleasure that comes unlook'd fcr
IS thrice welcome Dick Oula-
hans genial presence prompts this
quotation.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
Dawn of n Tomorrow,

From the Memphis Commsrcial-Appe
Now that all q the crooks iu Pittsburg have told
all they know about each other il looks as if there
might be a chance for the honest man after ALL
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

Winfield Scott, Zachary Taylor and JEFF
ferson Davis.
Black Hawk attacked Apple River
Fort on June a 1892. and next day de-
feated a strong detachment Of United
States troops. But the odds against him
were TOO severe. As the white soldiers
massed in greater numbers Black Hawk
and his gallant braves were forced gradu-
ally backward, fighting furiously for
every inch OF the way until they reached
the mouth OF the Bad AK River a
United States steamship lay of shore
Black Hawk sent forward a flag Of truce.
The steamship disregarded the white flag
and hurled shells into the Indian camp
where squaws and papooses were hud-
died. The pursuing troops finished the
rout The Indian army was cut 20
pieces. Black Hawk escaped, but was
soon captured. He was held prisoner Cor
months at Fort Monroe. then taken
on tour Of New York and other big
cities that he might see the full power
Of the white man. He was az last per
mitted 70 return home. only 20 find that
the government had made Keokuk chief
.
posed from rank and power, homeless,
/ hopeless. the old chief did not long sur
( vive his disgrace. He died October 3,
/ lS3S. near Des Moines, Iowa. AS a final
humiliation 10 his memory his body was
/ stolen from the grave by a Western
| doctor
/ on May Il. 1904 Lewis and Clarke
started up the Missouri River 70 explore
/ the Western country. Cape Cod was dis
/ covered in 1902. The convention first as
/ sembIed In 1857 10 draft the United States
/ Constitution. It is the birthday Of Dante
! l260; Gabriel Daniel Fahrenheit. IN
ventor Of the thermometer G6s6]; Samue
/ Dexter, Secretary Of the Treasury under
Adams G76D. and James Donald Cam
erOn, Pennsylvania statesman Gs53l. or
May Il Henry " OF France was assas
sinated az Paris in 800 Henry Grattan
the British statesman. died IN 1920 and
Sir William Congreve. inventor OF war
| like missiles, died IN ls28
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

Ii is reported that the Pullman Com
pany proposes to have the porter do
away with the ever-ready whiskbroom.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
Different in This Case.

From the Buffalo News.
Mr.. Sulocr viii have the pen that signed the bill
for raising the Maine. It's souvenir worth having.
but in this case the sword led the pen by several
laps
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
ACOOD IDEA.

Bedloe Bey wants 20 free the
Jersey meadows Of It's mosquitoes
BY introducing top minnOws. The
Bey SAYS a top minnow' viii at
tack even a Jersey mosquito single
handed.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

Thilman Hendnck seems % b a
ShakeSpearean student He was
overheard 20 say going 20 the stock
exchange yesterday: 7 am as
melancholy as Glib cat. NC
matter what he meant. IT'S shake
spCarc.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
4 Tin 10 Conrrcssme,

From The Atlanta Constitution.
So FAR. no enterprGng Congressman has under
taken 70 frank the Capitol 20 hb home town for a
p1st-o1ice.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

II was as much ~ the ring en-
p,oyes q the circus .uJld DO 70
keep Ed Drop from attempting %
ride the trick mule.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

Henry Terelcr was so impressed
with the show that he Is c1nSd-
griug the proposition 20 leave the
service az Uncle sam and do a
clown act.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
where Are the Missing Linkss

From the Birmingham News.
Representative Link Of Illinois also admits re
ceiTtng y.00 10 support senator Lorimer. Thus tn
chain Of evidence Is being heightened.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

c. L. Harding tried his utmost 70
ret lost from his family So that he
would have a good excuse % 90
away with the circus.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
CHAT OF THE FORUM.
inst a. Possibility

just "a Possibility.
From the Rochester Herald.
Never arain.-W. J. B.
What. Nevcr?-The public.
Well. hardly eTer.-W. ]. b.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
Doesn't Lie Down.

From the 81. Paul Dispatch
Still. those who remember 1875 know how the Re
publican party acts when il gets scared
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

To LOUIS 4. Coolidge. who ar
rived by the Colonial. TO say
you arc welcome were supertiuOuS. ="
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

II was not Mic LOngworth. but a
statesman on the extreme left. who
applied Byron's couplet TO the sit
uation produced by the House in
surgents. 10 Wit:
Marx. where his carnage and his
COnQuCsts cnaSel
He makes a solitude and calls II
peace. "
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

Ny friend John z. story, r.,
always an optmist gets daily Joy
out Of life in fullest measure.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

When the clown called out Has
anybody here seen Kelly" Col.
Brown answered in between pea
nuts, Yes, ] did.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

Zeal! Zeal When misdirectcd
how e does ball up good things. 20
This classic uttcrancc comes from
one Of the participants in tho late
Fairgrounds struggle.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
EVERY SATURDAY.

Cur Motto: Ifyou see il in The BIZ
Stick. Il isn't necessarily so.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

Waldo Hihbs got 81 excited over
the slack wire performer that he
she'd his coat, stood up IN his seat,
and yelled Y0cifcrOusly.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
AT THE HOTELS.

Or. William J. Deboe, lawyer and for
mer United States Senator from Ken
lucky is at the Raleigh.
President Taft is making good i'm
preston in Kentucky, and he is growing
more popular every day. II renominated
to succeed himself he will be reelected.
Roosevelt will not run against Taft.
Indications at this time seem 10 lead
10 the conclusion that the result Of the
Congressional election this fan in Ken
lucky Will be about OF the same political
complexion as the present delegation.
Business is fairly good In Kentucky,
and the prohibition movement is stin
strong, not as strong. however. as it was
a year ago. Kentucky is a Republican
State. and will remain true to the party
at the coming election"
Tt is a great mistake 70 agitate an ex-
clusion law against immigration from
abroad" said Col J. T. Dougine, Of Chi
tago. at the Riggs, last night Col Dou-
CINE. now past seventy, and in his time
prominently connected with the political
leaders Of the nation, said that he had
/ been an anti-Know Nothing ever since
/ be was a young boy.
! do the people who want the bars
down ever consider the fact that the
/ Italian, Dutchman, Irishman, Pole. and
others are the very ones who add more
/ 20 the material wealth and progress OF
the United States than any other class OF
people? Who built the railroads? Who
works the mines2 Who digs trenches
and sewers and does that work which a
native born American objects 10 doing?
II is the foreigner who has built the rail-
roads which traverse the length and
/ breadth Of this country. It is the for
! eigner who digs in the mines, and IL is he
that cuts trenches and sewers and per
forms other work absolutely necessary TO
the existence Of the people. These men
are infinitely more valuable 70 this coun-
try than the men who were born in this
country by accident and sit back and live
on the money accumulated by their for
felgn-born parents. The person who does
not earn what he consumes IS a blot on
the nation, ne is worse than useless. II
he does not earn his own Sustenance,
/ somebody else must do Il for him.
Did IL ever occur 20 you that the six
most important inventions Of the last
forty years were those OF foreigners?
Not one American invention OF any great
Consequence among them. II was the
invention Of a Hungarian which made Z
possible for our -four m.llers 20 produce
-four which would keep without mold
ing or fermenting: his process Of sep
aratiaE from The wheat kernel that par,
which contains the life Of the grain made
the prep0nderance Of the American grain
in the worlds market possible.
. Another invention OF foreigner was
that OF dynamite and nitroEIycerin, by
Nobel. Then there is Bessemer. the steel
man. and Alexander Graham Bell. OF the
telephone, and. finally, Marconi. with his
wireless. II IS true there are a large
number OF inventions by Americans. and
, they are Of great use, but they are no;
what might be called epOch-making IN
: veutiCns"
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14

Read the Bingyille Bugle tomorrow.
The Washington herald., 1910-05-14
TWO CENTS
CIRCUS CHAT.

II was as much ~ the ring en-
p,oyes q the cir-Is .uJld DO 20
keep Ed Drop from attempting %
ride the trick mule.
o. ]. Field. o. the department
n WiCEersLam. Says he went 20
the circus 90 please his little girl.
but o. J. was more demonsTauve
with his applause than the child.
Henry Tecclcr was so impressed
with the show that he IS conSd-
5rlus the proposition 20 leave the
service az Uncle sam and do a
clown act.
C. l. Harding tried his utmost 10
ger lost from his family 50 that he
would have a good excuse 20 90
away with the circus.
When the clown called out HAS
anybody here seen Kelly" Col.
Brown answered in between pea
nuts. Yes, ] did.
Waldo Hihbs got 81 excited over
the slack wire performer that ne
she'd his coat, stood up IN his seat,
and yelled v0cif5rOusly.
When the bareback rider turned
a double fipf0p on the horse. Doc
Stewart TUNED up his nose and
said: That is a cinch; I've done
that often with a saw horse"
II was with great effort that
Billy Townsend RETAINED from tax
ing in the circus He still has
nightly seances at his home. and
listens 20 tales Of the wonderful
things seen there by his friends.
Never mind, says Billy Ash
worth; next year George William
viii be old enough 10 take 10 the
circus OF course, I wouldn't 20
| without MN,
Joe NIilans missed II. and hs
hasn't smiled since II left.
Jack Newton has made such a
hit as a marshal that he has fled
an Application with Bauum &
Bailey 20 act as marshal q the
great street parade.
A. W. Johnston has hopes. When
he saw the pictures Of sea lions
riding horses he realized that there
was at least a chance for him 10
learn TO ride in a parade.
Charley Baldwin viii resign his
many Offices before the next circus.
He hates 20 neglect duty for love.
but after he resigns he viii follow
the reckoning Of love and 90 20 the
circus twice daily.