davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1910-09-15
BowsER MEETS HIS MoTHER-rN-nAw

BowsER MEETS HIS MoTHER-IN-LAw
me understand this thing. Were you
walking down stairs on roller skates2"
"0f course not"
did you have n bureau or bedstead
on your shoulderP
No"
Were your eyes open"
YES"
''Then there was no accident about
1t. Mrs. Bowser, you deliberately tum-
bed down those stairs to spite me.
When | left the house this morning
suspected you'd do something Of the
kind"
you are talking very foolishly. l
am sorry the cook Is out, but you can
manage to get yourself a bite to eat
Please don't scod."
"Oh, I'm not going to scod. You
never heard me scold In all my life
1t doesn't put me out in the least. I'll
just take weeks vacation out in the
country. People who deliberately tum-
bic head first downstairs mustn't look
for sympathy. III see you later"
An Unexpected Vision.
Mr.. Bowser went whlstling down
stairs to get the shock of his life. The
front door opened, and in walked his
mother-in-law- carpetbag, same
woman, same iron jaw.
"You-you" he gasped
~ thought might be needed, and so
came along" she grimly replied,
Where is SarahT
Upstairs. She fell downstairs awhile
ago"
And you were whistllng over It
when came in. Samuel, take chair
In the sitting room till | come down.
We may have to have a little chat to-
gether'
There's no one here to get dinner,
and I'm going out to a restaurant"
IF you do I'll follow you and talk at
the top of my voice. You've known
me long enough to know that I'm n
determined woman"
And I'm determined manW
She took him by the arm and led
him into the sitting room and sat him
down In a chair. Then she removed
her hat and gloves and walked up
stairs. Mr.. Bowser kicked and gestlc-
ulated like mad child, but he didn't
leave the house. After quarter Of an
hour the mother-in law came down to
say;
"Only few bruises and the shock"
"But who ever heard of a grown uo-
man tumbling downstairsP he com.
planned.
THAT will do, Samuel I've known
of grown man tumbling into churn
before now. It's not for you to make
one single kick about things. | felt 1t
In my bones that | ought to be here.
and started without stopping to tie
my shoes You can SO down and get
some sort Of dinner for us both"
II told you l was going out to din
ner."
Eyes, but you are not, / want you
right here. Go down to the kitchen
and start tho dre.p
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1910-09-15
Near Van Horn
10 3.2O Acres

All set to Spitzenberg and
Newtown apples. Nearly all
three year old trees and
showing splendid growth.
Soil the very best of this fa-
nous section. just rolling
enough for drainage and in
fine condition. Six year old
trees just across the road
average two boxes to the
tree this year. Electric light
and telephone wires pass the
place. Rural free delivery;
only a short distance to rail-
road station. Price reason
able. Owner on hand to show
property. Phone or address
Sam G.. Campbell
HOOD RIVER, OREGON
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1910-09-15
BOWSERISBALKED
The Unexpected Arrival of His
Mother-in-laW.
SHE TAKES HIM IN HAND.

Comes When Samuel is Enraged at
Wife's Acoident-He Is Ordered to
Kitchen to Get a Meal--SoIace In a
Sonnet-New Visitors Glee.
BY M. QUAD.
copyright, 1910. by Associated Literary
Pressl
- ~OMING home on the street car
@ the other evening, a fat wo
49, man dug her elbow into Mr.
Bowser's ribs and then called
him a villain. He said nothing in re-
ply, but he made up his mind that
Mrs. Bowser should stand around to
pay for 1t. He was ready to kick
about the gas bill when he entered
the hall. but there was no one to kick
to.
Neither Mrs. Bowser nor the cat
was visible.
He went to the head Of the basement
stairs, but all was quiet In the kitchen.
He descended to find no signs of the
cook and no preparations for dinner
Here was something to kick about;
here was something visible and solid.
If he didn't raise the roof about 1t
then his name was not Bowser.
As he ascended to the hall he heard
his name family called from upstairs,
and he went up to find Mrs. Bowser
lying on the bed. She tried to smile
as she said:
I'm sorry about 1t. It's cooks day
out, you know, and two hours ago, as
started for the kitchen to begin din
ner. I tripped and rolled clear to the
bottom of the stairs"
And broke your back, of coursew
he exclaimed.
mo"
"Then, both legs"
mo; don't think broke any bones
at all. but | was badly Jared and
famed. | hope to be all right by morn
ing"
you hope, but you know better.
You know you won't get around again
for month-perhaps not for threew
TITS only the nervous shock and
few bruises"
"Only both hips and shoulders and
all your ribs broken, you mean! Let
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1910-09-15

"Now, look here" he said as he rose
up with pale face, Il run this house,
run myself. / don't propose that you
shall dictate to me one instant That's
fat"
His Bluff Called.
samuel" said the visitor In a very
quiet voice, II don't think you ever en-
countered an earthquake. You have
read Of them, however, and you know
how things sway and totter and the
ground opens to receive humanity.
You'd better light that fire and pick up
some sort of dinnerp'
Mr.. Bowser hung off for about fif-
teen seconds and then shuffied down
to the kitchen. In lighting the fire he
showed the stove covers about and
made as much racket as he could, and
presently a voice at the speaking tube
said:
Samuel, if you want me to come
down there and pull that range out by
the roots / will do SO, but you'll be
pulled with 1t. Notify me in pleas
ant and well modulated voice when
dinner Is ready, and be sure to have
the tea good and strong"
1t was half an hour later when she
was notified. AS she was coming down
she met Mr.. Bowser going up. She
said nothing, but took him by the arm
and walked him back to the dining
room He sat down, but refused to
eat.
'It's just as well that you should fast
few days." she said as she noticed
his sulks. you are too fat anyhow.
l noticed your stomach as I entered
the door"
His teeth could be heard gritting to-
gether, but he made no reply.
"You weren't going to telegraph me,
were you" was sweetly asked after a
bit.
Rounded Up at Last.
"No, wasn't"
"Well, as l said, felt it in my
bones, and so there was no cost for a
telegram. Samuel, can't you realize
how useless 1t is to kick against stone
wallT
II dunno what you mean"
"T'm your mother in-law-the only
one you've got You blow and bluster,
but understand you. You are afraid
Of me. 4 am seventy-three years old,
but hard as nails, and l am going to
live to be a hundred. You will be
under my wing for the next fifteen or
twenty years. You need me every
hour, All such men as you need
mother-in-law around the house
You've been good enough to get the
dinner, and now If you want to 60 up
to the library and read Shakespeare to
quiet your nerves you can do so. But
don't attempt to sneak out of the house,
Samuel. can see like a cat at night.
and never leave a trail when I've
once hit It,"
Mr.. Bowser disappeared, and it was
two hours before he was seen again.
Then the mother-in-law slipped into
the library and found him fast asleep
In his chair and his head on the table.
Beside him was a sheet of paper on
which he had started to write a la
ment, as follows:
The prisoner sits In his prison cell,
And his heart is aching with woe.
The future is nothing but black despair,
And the days they will go so slow.
0 man who has a mother-in-law!
o man in the shadow who walksi
o man who beats at the iron barsi
By thunder
And the mother-in-law lifted the
sheet and read and grinned and
chuckled.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1910-09-15
A Sure Siun,

Skidders--I noticed today that Nc
Pneumatic. whose creditors forced him
to sell his touring car, is on his feet
again.
Sparks--How do you know he's on
his feet?
Skidders-How? Why. saw him
riding In his new $1,000 auto.-Puck.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1910-09-15
Side Lights on History.

Magellan was sailing through the
strait that bears his name.
This is a good deal better than
waiting to go through the Panama
ditch" he said. Its sea level, and
there are no tolls to pay"
But it is believed that he had become
prejudiced by reading Admiral Bob
Evans magazine articles on the canal.
Chicago Tribune.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1910-09-15
The Hotel Oregon
HOOD RIVER s MODERN HOTEL

Nov, look here" he said as he rose
up with pale face, Il run this house,
run myself. l don't propose that you
shall dictate to me one instant. That's
fiat"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1910-09-15
HOOD RIVER, OREGON
Read AugnSt Sunset.

Read "The Philippines as / Saw
Them by General James F. Smith, ex.
Go, ernor of the Philippines, and "Cali-
fornia's Black. Gold, the Romance of the
Oil Wells" by Walter V. Woehlke, in
SUNSET for August now on sale at all
news stands, l5 cents.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1910-09-15

BE true to yourself and you do not
need to worry about what the neigh
borS think.
New-York tribune., 1910-01-21
TIMBER GOING FAST.
Consumption Fire Times
Greater than Production.

Commissioner Whirple has written every
sawTn1l operator. pulp wood manufacturer
and consumer of wood material in the
state. showing them the necessity for for
est conservation, and has requested that
they cooperate with his department., in so
FAR as they can, for the purpose of better
ing forest conditions and improving the
use of woodlands and generally placing the
forests under more productive and profit
able management.
The commission has been gathering sta
tistfcs for nearly twenty years. showing
the amount of lumber, pulp wood and other
wood products annually cut within the
state. These figures concusively indicate
that as whole. more timber is cut every
year than is grown. The consumption, in
fact, is about five times greater than the
production. This means exhaustion of wood
supplies, closing of mills. large financial
losses incurred by the depreciation of mill
properties. unemployed abor. scarcity of
forest products and higher prices for all
wood materials. Mr.. Whippe says:
UNLESS We repair this constant depletion
of forest growth twenty years will see the
elimination of IN economic crisis. in this
state. Every commercial tree will have dis
appeared in that time.
New-York tribune., 1910-01-21
ROADS ADOPT PENSION PLAN
N. Y. Central and Rock Island Bring
Total Of Those Affected tn 665 nm

The New York Central and the Rock
Island roads announced yesterday the in
ausuration of pension system on their
lines
The total number OF railroad emnloves
in the United States. according to the lat
est government report. is 1672,o74 OF this
number approximately 6s5, 900. or about N
per cent, now serve the roads which have
pension systems. These companies are the
New York Central. Rock Island. PennsyI-
vania, Buffalo. Rochester & Pittsburg. Chi
cago Northwestern. Illinois Central.
Atchison, Topeka & Santa Fe Union Pa
cific, Southern Pacific and their affiliated
lines, Delaware. Lackawanna & Western
Baltimore & Ohio, Atlantic Coast Line.
Reading and Central OF New Jersey
The New York Central has set aside the
sum of $4,000 for its pension fund. Anv
employe over seventy years old who has
been in the service continuously for at least
ten years. or a man under seventy wears
who has been employed for at least twenty
years and is retired by the board Of pen
sions, is entitled TO a pension equal to I
per cent of his average monthly pay for the
ten years next preceding retirement. multi
Piled by the number of years of service
The Rock Islands system is substantially
the same
New-York tribune., 1910-01-21

shown, and others reaching to the knees
and the skirt will b. invariably short The
illustration shows a return to the odtime
skirt in which groups Of pleats alternate
with panels Though one cannot see the
yoke, 1t is safe to surnise that there is
one. as many of the new tailored skirts
are so made.
The velvet draping the toque is an
other characteristic touch as velvet is 10
he much used in trimming the early spring
hats
Notifications Of the Russian idea are
being introduced everywhere. For slim
people there are yokes across the chest and
caps on the sleeves to broaden the figure
For stout people there are pleated backs
instead of the bloused effect For dressy
wear there are more or less ella bora te trim
mings. such as moire facings. braids, but
tons. soutaching in scroll designs and
motifs of gold and silver on collars and
cuffs. The all important belt also offers
many opportunities for adornment, from
the simplest in a heavy corded effect to the
elaborately embroidered one. with jevelled
buckle at front and back. The one shown
in the illustration is of patent leather.
New-York tribune., 1910-01-21

folk dances yesterday afternoon at the
Italian House. No. 155 Worth street. their
little neighbors who stood watching them
in the hallway were SO caught with the
spirit Of the thing that they. too. began 10
hop up and down. And that IS the way IT
affected the greater part of the audience.
for the enthusiasm OF the performer. who
seemed to dance for the pure JOY Of il.
and not because they had been taught. was
vellngh irresistible
The dances represented almost q. many
rationalities as the children themselves.
After twelve tinv hve-year-oIds from, the
west Side Italian school had bobbsd up
and down. and fairly swung each other
of the floor in Swedish dance. twenty
odd little girls. decked out in bright pink
hair ribbons. performed some English sing
ing games and Danish ox-dsnce
Though they have been doing this sor, of
work for only about six months. they did II
almost as we'll as the girls of Public school
1sl, who had come to show what two
years training can do for youthful trippers
OF the light fantastic toe. But the public
school children performed some Hungarian
and Russian dances later, which one
her class because 1t strained her muscles
So They clogged and scufied and stamped
and even shouted In most realistic manner
They bent and swayed their supple little
bodies IN such perfect rhythm that an
experienced teacher OF physical culture
who happened to be in the audience ex-
claimed That's as good as anything I've
ever seen on the stage"
The girls from the 9Th street schooI
performed an intricate Norwegian noun
tain march. with red and green scarf,. a
characteristic Bohemian dance and
Highland fling, for which they wore the
bonnet and plaid.
In the dance which seemed To CAUSE the
most amusement the partners slammed
one another. pulled one another's hair
bobhed one auothers heads. and then
skipped away arm In arm In a surprisingly
friendly manner.
Edwin l.. Holton. who has introduc.s
this work into the day industrial schools
or the children's Aid Society," explained
that many of the figures taught are merely
adaptations OF the steps the children learn
from one another In the streets. Most
foreigners he said. have an inhersnr
love for dancing, 10 which we ar. ha,.
ehdeavorinS to give expression"
New-York tribune., 1910-01-21
NOTEL TRAIN TEST.
Freight, Going So Niles an
Hour, Stopped IN ,O18 Feet.

AS a result of a disagreement of rail-
road men arising 1t the inquest into the
death of Spencer Trask, the banker,
Coroner Squire. Of Croton. and the New
York Central road brought about a novel
track from Montrose to Croton. The pur-
pose was to determine in what space a
heavily loaded freight train of fourteen
cars going at a given speed could be
stopped. The train was brought to a dead
halt in 1,o1S feet. The test is likely to figure
largely in the Trask inquest.
Eugene Flanagan. engineer. and John
Knapp. fireman. of the freight train that
ran into the stalled express on December
81. are out on bail on a charge of being
responsible for the wreck They contended
at the inquest that they did not see the
stalled passenger train until they were
within 1,732 feet OF the train, too close to
stop the freight. which was at that time
travelling a about thirty miles an hour.
Engineer fully, Of the passenger train.
testified that a the rate of speed at which
the freight was travelling, taking into
have been practically Impossible for En-
gtneer Flanagan to have stopped his train
in less than 800 feet. That led to the
freight train, with a regular engineer
and fireman aboard, was run up the road
TO Montrose. This train consisted of the
same number of cars as the one that
caused the wreck. When 1t reached the
the signal II was going thirty-1ve miles an
hour. five miles faster than Flanagans train
was travelling. The engineer damned down
the brakes and succeeded in bringing the
would have brought the engine within
ia feet of the stalled express
New-York tribune., 1910-01-21
FOR AID OF WOMEN.
Probation Officer Urges Need
of House of Detention.

Miss Alice Smith. probation officer. spoke
before the Woman's Municipal League, No.
10 East 26th street, Yesterday on the need
IN this city Of house of detention for
women offenders. 1t was a disgrace, she
said, that there was not such a house. with
a woman physician. and the rooms ar
ranged so that the matron would be in the
centre of the place. with the women
around her
Can YOU furnish us with a plan for
house of detention?' asked Mrs. E. r.
Hewitt. president of the league
Miss Smith said she would and the league
will take the matter up. Mrs Hewitt. who
was introduced to the organization yes
terday by Mrs. r. r. French as It's new
president, In place of Mrs. Richard Aldrich.
resigned. said it was her desire to have
practical workers. like Miss Smith. speak
before the club.
1T used to be the fashion" she re-
marked. land it's a fashion some Of Va
have inherited from our ancestors, to sit
afar off from people who needed help and
decide. in a superior way what ought to
be done for them. That sort of thing is an
outlet for ones activity but let us guard
against it,
Miss Smith attacked the Raines law
hotels, which. she said, were "gates to per-
dition" She thought it a disgrace, too,
that the city had not hospital for the
treatment of women who had contracted
the drink habit
1T would wiring your heart" she said.
ITO go to the House of Mercy or the Mag
dalen Home and see the young mothers
committed there for drunkenness. We don't
tackle this question in the right way In
many cases drinking is disease and I've
mad women say TO me. IF 1t was the Lords
Will, Miss Smith. I'd rather die than take
another drop They mean it, and yet they
go out and drink-frequently because they
are physically run down. Many a husband
has said TO me of his wife, She's the best
wife in the world when she doesn't drink"
A resolution was passed thanking Mrs
Richard Aldrich. the retiring president. for
her services in that office, and expressing
the belief that her work had been ''of value
TO every citizen of the great city of New
York"
New-York tribune., 1910-01-21
CASE SUMMED UP
Suit against Chanler Likely to
Reach jury To-day.

Counsel In the suit of William F. Clark,
press agent against former Lieutenant
Governor Lewis Stuyvesant Chaner for
*so,0D for work. labor and services occupied
the entire day yesterday in the Supreme
Court in summing up the case, which has
been on trial a week. Intmation of bad
faith were made by both sides. the arraign-
ment of Mr.. Chanler by Clarence J. Shearn,
counsel for Clark, being especially bitter.
The lawyer referred to the defendant as
"wecher." and said that he had advertised
himself like patent medicine. Bronson
Winthrop. for Mr.. Chanler, chara cterized
the suit of Clark as a strike" and said
that Mr. Shearns bitterness was due TO
former political rivalry between him and
Mr.. Chanler.
Mr.. Winthrop said that the material
written by Clark was cheap stuff The
heading on one Of the stories he produced
read " Big Tim Has Picked a Live One"
which referred to Timothy d. Sulivan's
support OF Mr.. Chanler. The attorney said
that the case had narrowed down to an
Issue OF veracity between the litigants II
required courage of high order. said Mr..
winthrop, on the part of the defendant to
resist the demand Of Clark Mr.. Chanler,
he asserted. knew of the ridfcule he would
he subjected to by coming into court, and
had he been coward he would have paid
Clark's claim.
IN his argument Mr. Shearn said:
Chanler testified that he is a criminal
lawyer. If the money of a contributor to
the Chanler campaign fund under these
Chanler, the man would be justified in
feeling that II was time for him to get
nusy with criminal lawyer. Brother
Robert Chanler and Brother William Chan
ler both testified that they had been led
TO think that this $4,000 contribution was
to be returned 10 Brother Lewis. It was
only Yesterday that the latter began to
realize the position he was in. and de-
clared on the witness stand that he
be returned"
That disposes of the loan proposition. It
wss only put in as blind in case there
should be any inquiry. any legislative in
qulry. any inquiry by friends of William
Jennings Bryan, SO that Chanler could
truthfully say II never subscribed any
money for this purpose" There was no
record on Mannings books OF such CON
tribution. The money was given to Will
lam Astor Chanler by the defendant and
Manning
William T Manning was manager of the
boom.
Continuing Shearn said:
The defendant has said on the witness
stand that he was ashamed of the whole
business. He ought to have been ashamed
But In spite of being ashamed he allowed
It to go straight forward all through July.
August. September October and Novem-
Der, clear into February of 1905
Shearn asked the jury to give his client
verdict for the full amount of the claim
so that II would be known that welching
is neither popular nor profitable in New
York" Justice Bischoff will charge the
jury this morning.
New-York tribune., 1910-01-21
JUDGMENT AGAINST DIR. COOK
Stenographer Attaches Bank Account
to Collect $40 RiII

MISS Rose Weber. an industrious stenog-
rapher, with an Office at No. 154 Nassau
street obtained a judgment for $50 in
the lst District Municipal Court Yesterday
against Dr. Frederick a. Cook. Miss Web
per WORKED for the explorer for eight
days at The Waldorf just after his tri-
umphant return from the Pole" Walter
Lonsdale, secretary for Dr.. cooL. assured
Miss Weber that the non-pavment of her
bill was an oversight and that the settle
ment would be forthcoming.
Miss Webber. being a business woman.
however. did not wait very long. She at
tached the explorers funds on deposit at
the Carnegie Trust Company. said TO
amount TO $4,000. and brought suit. serv-
ing the trust company With third party
summons. When the case was called In
court yesterday the del fence was unrepre-
sented, and Justice Moore gave Judgment
by defaulf
New-York tribune., 1910-01-21
DRESSMAKERS FINED.
Government Closing In on
"SLeeper Trunk" Lenders

United States Attorney Wise said yester-
Gay that the investigation into the "sleeper
runh smuggling case was still in progress
ana that IL was hoped that more indict-
ments would soon be found II was re-
ported that the leaders had not been pro-
ceeded against, but that the authorities
were on their trail. The offer to the gov
eminent of s9ea.ooo by al agent of the snug
siers last spring for settlement was said
10 have come from the leaders
More indicted dressmakers, charged with
completely in the smuggling of 'sleeper
trunks. from which practice the govern
ment lost more than $l.ooo000 a year for
years in duties, pleaded guilty yesterday
Judge Hough heard them-eight in all-in
the United States Circuit Court They
were all fined, the largest fine being So, 500.
and the total SIC, 25a So far, fifteen dress
makers of the twenty-seven indicted have
confessed guilt. and the fines collected
amount TO sS4.2A
The counsel of the women. William Wick
ham Smith, until recently a special As
sistant Attorney General in charge of
smuggling cases, pleaded for small fines,
saying that the women had to engage in
the practice or be left far behind in bust
ness competition. Some of the dressmak-
ers. he said, had also lost heavily by the
seizure of the trunks.
Assistant United States Attorney Dorr
opposed leniency. He said that more than
one hundred trunks had peen smuggled
every year since 1904. Judge Hough then
inflicted the fines. Under the law the wom-
en- could have been fined $1,000 and impris-
,oned two years. The highest single fine i'm
posed SO far was s. 500.