Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-09-18

which has never been rehearsed or premedi
tated, but springs to life in close straits when
everything of success for the platform per-
former depends on his holding the spotlight
of his audiences attention through crucial
strain caused by unexpected diversion.
Some of the involuntary humor of the
platform is worth remembering and repeat
ing. For instance:
once upon time lecturer reached his
~ Iowa date at seven-thirty. He had to get
his supper, shave, and dress between then
and the usual scheduled starting time, eight
fifteen. Accordingly he dressed with more
haste than he had intended, and two top
buttons of his trousers failed to receive prop
er attention. This showed plainly in the
glare of the footlights, and bit of his dress
shirt protruded noticeably. The audience
had hard time being courteous and recon-
Cling the righteousness of the speakers APP
pearance with the serious dignity and beauty
of his lecture. Still, all would have been
well but for the fact that, at the close of the
address and while the speaker still sat on the
platform in his unconscious dishablle, the
platform manager rose and announced i'm
pressively:
The next number on this splendid course
will be given two weeks from tonight, by
DR.. Robert Mcintyre, who will deliver his
celebrated lecture, 'Buttoned-up People"
The audience shrieked, and to this day,
through the tender hearted forbearance of
those people, that lecturer does not know
why the announcement of his confrere's
beautiful word picture lecture created just
that kind of enthusiasm.
ONCE, while Charles Edgar Rosecrans,
~ who chalk-talks under the stage name
of he CT of iaI
entertainment, small negro boy walked on
from the rear and handed to the speaker his
washing, done up in an old newspaper. Be-
fore the audience had time to get its breath
and laugh, the speaker gravely took the
bundle, bowed with Chester6eldian grace,
and said to the audience, as he held up the
package:
This is my wash. l always have it
!. brought to me at this stage of the entertain
ment.'
Thus the audience was compelled to vent
its laughter with, instead of at, the man on
the platform.
A T one time DR.. Thomas E. Green was
submitted to the long-introduction
agony. He stood it as patiently as possible,
and so did the audience; but when the intro
ducer ceased and bowed out the paid speaker
of the evening, DR.. Green walked forward
and said in his most ministerial tone:
Il am going to add a phrase to the litany,
making it read as follows: From our ira
ducers and our introducers, good Lord de-
liver us!'"
EVERYBODY, suppose, knows the story
II of the old German in Wisconsin who was
asked to present Senator Spooner to the audi
ence The German walked out and said:
LADIES UNDT CHENDLEMANS.-Iha f been
asked to introduce to you Senador Sbooner
who will speak init you. hat now done SO,
undt he will now do So"
SOMETIMES country town committee
~ is cantankerous and takes on degree
of choiciness never dreamed of or aspired to
by city committee. At one time Elias Day,
a makeup artist, was behind the scenes lay
ing out his wigs, boards, ETC., when COM
-nitteeman came back to see him. After the
usual greetings, the committeeman said:
Il hope to goodness you're bettern the
last number on Our course was!"
"Who was it?" asked Mr.. Day.
'Dr. Russell Conwell of Philadelfy."
Didn't you like him?" asked Day, in a
daze.
"Rotten!" said the committeeman