davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1910-12-22
DEATHS

OF his SON in-law, Mr.. William Gem.
nell. li6s Capitol Street. wadnes-
day ut 1915 a. NJ, MIR. PLEASANT
RICHARD HAzLEGRoVE, aged scv.
enty-sia.
Funeral from HIS old home, Cum.
bertrand county. Va.
North Twenty-sixth street. Decem.
MARY ANN KEENAN,.
Funeral FRIDAY AFTERNOON. {
o'clock. st. Patrick's Church.
Watertown, n. Y. papers pleas,
copy.
atARTIN--Died. at his home. scr China
Street Wednesday. December 81
JOHN Z. MARTIN
Church FRIDAY. December %, at
z. NJ. Interrncnt In Hollywood.
Friends OF the FAMILY invited to at
tend.
PATTERsoN-Died at her home near
Free Union. Va, MRS. MARY h.
PATTERSON, aged hfty years eight
months. She not only leaves her
husband. who spared neither time
nor money to have his wife we'll
again. but also ten devoted children.
who were with her the last few days
on earth. Her mother. who is sew
enty-eight years old, also survives
her.
The moonlight stars are bearnins
upon q silent grave.
Where sleeps with dreaming the
one we could not save
Heaven retaineth now the treasure.
earth the lonely casket keeps.
And the sunbeams love TO linger
where our dear mother sleeps
The flowers we lay upon your grave
may wither and decay,
But fresh and green her memory
within our hearts shall stay.
FATHER AND CHILDREN.
RHODEs-Died, December 90, 1910, at
her home In her th!rty-ninth year.
ELLA T. RHODES. She leaves her
husband Henry l. Rhodes, and three
ch!ldren--Madeline D., VIM. H. and
Jno. Rah!ly Rhodes; also two sis
ters-Mrs. Dan Kellerher and Miss
Kate V. Rahily.
Funeral from ST. Patrick's Church
at 10 o'clock THURSDAY. December
%. 1910.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1910-12-22


important general legislation will be
enacted. Working toward that end he
is comforting right along with leaders
and heads of committees. No definite
program has been arranged as to the
order in which the Presidents propo-
sitions shall be broush. up, but 1t is
practically certain that during the
holiday recess something in the nature
of an understanding will be reached,
and that this will be put into effect
Immediately upon the reassembling OF
Congress.
Foremost however, is the making
permanent the tariff commission. so
that 1t Will go forward with Its work
of thorough investigation of tariff
schedules. Legislation to regulate the
issuance Of injunctious by the United
states courts and authorization for the
fortitication of the Panama Canal are
also regarded as of Importance, to-
gether with legislation for fixing the
toll of the canal
Faith In the Republicans.
The President believes that hspub-
licans in Congress-, recognizing the
situate that will exist When the
Democrats control the House, VIII bend
every energy after Christmas toward
the making of laws desired by the
people of the country.
The President does not propose to
work as hard during ...e Christmas
holidays as he has been working, but
he Will get down to the hardest sort
of effort after the holidays to accom-
plish something in the way OF valuable
legislation.
If he only partially repeats his sue
cesses Of the last session he will break
all records for a short session of Con-
gross, which has rarely been knokn to
do anything beyond pass appropriation
bills.
Invited to Tennessee.
The Tennessee delegation in Con-
gress extended President Taft an In
vitation TO visit Nashville when he goes
to Atlanta In March. The President
has not acted upon the invitation, but
will decide later.
7. P. claXton. of Knoxville, execu-
tive secretary of the Southern Con-
ference for Education, invited the
President to attend the annual confer
ence. to be held In Jacksonville April
10. 20 and 81. Mr.. claxton was pre-
scented by Representative Austin.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1910-12-22
IN MORIAM

LYLE;--In memory OF my dear mother.
MRS. NJ. p. LYLE, who died the ED
OF December. 1903
Eternal form shall still divide
Eternal soul from all beside.
And shall know her when We
meet"
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1910-12-22
TO the Public

owing to rush OF business, our stores
will be open Till p NJ; Saturday, II
P. NJ.
s. ULLs1AN's son.
1920 East Main.
SOC East Marshall.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1910-12-22
NbkgEiz,o ia:
A'1a .al'Ili.silIZ IsAyl !E|lla;yg
213 East Broad

!nterment will be al Spring Hill Gene
terry
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1910-12-22

COLDS CAUSE HEADACHE
i.h$NlIvE HROMO Quinipe, the world Wlde
lelf alld Gin rcnedy removes cause ", Iali ,or
fHii ualpr Look ior signature X, w, CROVE' ISS
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1910-12-22

Successful Advertisers
depends on the advice and service Of train.
ed experts. Our agency furnishes these.
Correspondence solicited. Free plans.
Freeman Advertising Agency
Mutual Building,
Richmond. Yirninia-
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1910-12-22


fancy, comprise the three prin-
cipal colors for winter over
coats.
In cutand length, fashion has
been broad minded this winter
and liberal in cloth.
For the cheerful s p ri n e r
here's the knee length.
For the. dignified a m b e r
here's the long easy walking
ovePcoat.
For a man who has TO bite a
mole in Winters blast here's
the double-breasted n k q
length storm teaser.
Every other coat to suitevery
other man and odd ones for the
odd man.
SIS to $50.
S45 to $50.
= Chauffeurs' fur coats, $50 and
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1910-12-22
'rlnE VAnI.M.

M orninc "a. Detsnbnr ~ 1910
Tvsni,s NV NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.. a.20
N"'"h ''ue 49,.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1910-12-22
The Strength Of
This Bank

Lies In les Capital-its assets, Its
honorable history and ability, char
acter and standing of the men who
conduct its affairs. All these forces
are ready to serve you, whether your
account be large or small
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1910-12-22

of Buffalo Springs. he married Miss
Yergle Allen, of Petersburg. The
telegram announcing his death did not
give any Information as to plans for
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1910-12-22
OTHER GIFT THINGS

All in Xmas box wit h
Xmas cards.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-03-31
To Start a Tiaht Screw.

Lots of folks have tried to remove a
stubborn screw from a piece Of wood.
a screw that won't bulge at all, and
have in the end given it up as a bad
job. Well, If such a thing occurs again
don't give it up, don't lose your temper
or exert yourself, but try this recipe
for removing the screw: Heat poker
red hot and then hold it against the
screw head for a little while; wait a
few minutes for the screw to cool
down, when it will be found that the
screw can be removed quite easily
with the same screwdriver that just
previously would not perform the
work. The explanation is quite sim
pie. The red hot poker heats the screw,
and the screw expands and makes
the hole it is in just a wee bit bigger.
The screw then cools down and re-
sumes its original size, leaving the
hole in the wood size too large-and
there you are New York sun,
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-03-31
Frank Stockton and Poetry.

Frank Stockton never could write a
successful poem. In this connection
the novelist frequently told a good
story on himself. In his youth i'll con-
junction with his brother John he
wrote many poems. with which he af-
fiicted the editors of various Canadian
periodicals. The effusions always
came back. The editor of one maya
zine was an especial target of the
Stocktons, but as none Of their poems
was ever accepted the brothers came
to the conclusion that the editor had
no conception of good poetry. 10
prove their belief they hunted up and
dispatched to him an ode, little known,
by Milton. Within two days they re-
ceived check and letter of thanks.
II came to the conclusion that that
editor knew poetry when he saw it
after all,T Mr.. Stockton used to say,
land gave up trying to write it."
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-03-31
Slim Chance For Her.

A missionary who was making his
way through backwoods region came
upon an old woman sitting outside a
cabin. He entered upon a religious
talk and finally asked her If she didn't
know there was a day Of judgment
coming.
"Why. no." said the old lady; 81
hadn't heerd o. that. Won't there be
more than one dayg"
NO, my friend; only one day." was
replied.
well. then" she unused. 81 don't
reckon can get to go. for we've only
got one mule. and John always has to
60 everywhere frst.'-New York Sun.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-03-31
Too Realistic

During performance Of captain
Lapalisse" at a Valencia theater some
years ago an incident occurred which
for lifelike effect left nothing to be de-
sired. During the said play some of
the actors miugle with the spectators
in order to cooperate from the body
of the house. No sooner had Miralles,
the actor, taken his seat in the stalls
than a daring pickpocket robbed him
Of his gold watch. Miralles seized the
man by his coat collar and called out
in a deep bass voice:
police! Help. Thieves"
The audience, taking this little epi-
sode to be part Of the performance,
roared with laughter. Even the police
men Joined in without stirring hand or
foot.
"This is no farcew cried the actor
in tones of despair. "The fellow has
got my watchr'
The voice sounded so natural that
the audience broke into loud applause
at "such excellent fooling" Meanwhile
the thief managed to break away from
his captor and escaped.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-03-31
LACEMAKING.
An Old Legend That Tells Of the ORR
gin of the Art.

An Old Legend That Tells Of the ORR
gin of the Art.
Lacemaking is by no means so old
an industry as most persons suppose
There is no proof that it existed pre-
vious to the fifteenth century, and the
oldest known painting in which it ap-
pears is portrait Of a lady in the
academy at Venice painted by Caspac-
clio, who died about 1923. The legend
concerning the origin of the art is as
follows:
A young fisherman Of the Adriatic
was betrothed to a young and beauti-
full girl of one of the isles of the la
goon. Industrious as she was beauti-
full, the girl made a new net for her
lover, who took it with him on board
his boat The first time he cast 1t into
the sea he dragged therefrom an exqui-
site petrifed wrack grass, which he
FASTENED to present to his fiancee; but,
war breaking out, the fisherman was
pressed into the service of the Vene-
tion navy. The poor girl wept at the
departure of her lover and contem-
plated his last gift to her. While abb
sorbed in following the intricate ira
Gerry of the wrack grass she began to
twist and plait the threads weighted
with small beads which hung around
her net. Little by little she wrought
an imitation of the petrifcation, and
thus was created the bobbin lace.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-03-31

Curiosity is not my weak point.
said the tailor. Nevertheless l cam
help wondering about some Of my
customers, especially those who order
little metal disks padded into the left
side of their coats and vests. Several
Of them do that-have been doing II
for years. The natural inference is
that they count on being shot at some
time, and they take that precaution to
protect the heart But what should
really like to know is what they have
done to make anybody want to shoot
them. Apparently they are inoffen-
sive, law abiding citizens, but there
must have been a time when they
were regular daredevils and laid the
foundation Of an enmity that they ex-
pect to wind up some day in shoot
ing ap."-New York Press.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-03-31
A DUCK HARD TO KILL.
The Screaming Waloon Is Something
OF a Diver Too.

The Screaming WaIloon Is Something
Of a Diver Too.
The screaming walloon is a hard
duck to kill. Its hide is very tough
and is thickly covered with feathers
and down. Besides. the bird is a
great diver. one of the kind that used
to dive at the flash when hunted
with the old arm that flashed when
fred. 1t is Of very little value for ta-
BILE use, being so tough. The only way
to manage it at all is to skin it and
parboil it in a big pot with plenty Of
water The negroes make caps of
walloon skins.
"They are great ducks for diving"
says a well known Tired Avon river
progger. "They can dive quicker, 60
down deeper, remain under water long
err and come up farther away than
any other duck that frequents our wa
tiers. l remember once succeeded in
killing a walloon, and, being short of
game for the table, determined to
cook my bird. ] got negro to skin it,
giving him the hide for his trouble.
After being cleaned we put it in a
great pot full of water and under it
kindled a hot fire. After awhile
wanted to see how thercooking Of my
duck progressed and lifted the top off
the boiling pot, but there was so much
steam escaping could not see into the
pot and struck a match over it. The
blamed walloon, sir, dived at the fash
of the match. 1t disappeared and has
never been seen since. Baltimore Sun.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-03-31
THE GIANTS CAUSEWAY.
Formation and Appearance OF This Odd
Freak Of Nature.


The Giants causewny Is situated at
the northern extremity of County An
trim, short distance from Port Rush,
Ireland. 1t consists Of countless hosts
of basaltic pillars, varying in shape
from n pentagon to an octagon. the av-
erage length of each column or pillar
being about eighty feet. the whole
stacked so closely together that a knife
blade could hardly be inserted between
them. But the formation Of these pill
lars is not the least wonderful purt
about them. for, although they may be
counted by thousands and tens Of
thousands. each column is fashioned
with a symmetry that suggests ma
sons handiwork. Their composition is
a perfect fusion Of one-half fiinty
earth, one-quarter lime and clay, one
quarter almost pure iron. each pillar
being divided into regular lengths or
joints which come together as per-
feet natural ball and socket union.
Although to be found in small de-
tachments Embedded In the cliffs,
sands. etc. for some distance along
the shore, the principal aggregations
forming the causeway proper consist
of three projections or tongues known
as little. middle and grand eauseways
These singular columns are of differ
ent lengths and present an astonishing
appearance as they stand. an army Of
at least 10000 strong marshaled on
the shores of Erin as if ever ready to
do battle with the rising tide.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-03-31
KANGAROO MEAT.
Why the Native Youngsters Of New
Guinea Refused IT,

In certain parts Of New Guinea the
wallaby, a species of kangaroo, are
very plentiful, and the traveller in
search Of sport finds the pursuit OF
them an exciting occupation. Wallaby
steak is a refreshing change from can
ned meats. and the natives are only
too glad to have the remnants of the
carcass. A writer in an English mag
azine tells an amusing incident con-
nected with the animal.
He had been ashore in one of the
sparsely populated regions Of the coast
and secured four wallaby, an ample
supply for the whole party. native
guides and servants included. But he
found that. although wallaby is re-
garded as such delicacy that no
trouble is considered too great to OBJ
tain it. none Of the native boys in the
party would touch it.
This was mystery until one Of
them explained that they had been
trained in childhood in the belief that
If they ate wallaby before reaching a
certain age it would stop their growth.
These boys all belonged to the part
Of the country where wallaby are few.
and one can imagine the crafty old
folks seated round the festive pot and
winking at one another as the young
people declined the succulent dainty.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-03-31
interesting For the Husband,

a titled lady warned her new gar
dener that her husband had an irri-
tating habit Of disparaging everything
he saw in the greenhouse and Of or
dering in a e.kless manner new plants
to be bought
"But ON no account humor him, -
she said. Whatever he says, throw
cold water on him or he will ruin US
with his extravaganza"
At this point the new gardener
turned on her a white and startled face
"Ma'am," he said, IF he orders me
to pitch every plant in the place on
the rubbish heap ! shan't ever have
the pluck to Gouse him in cold water
Won't it do as well II l get a drain Of
warm water out Of the boiler and let
It triclle gently down his neck7"-
London Tit-Eits.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-03-31
rh. nutnh.r aird,. Larder.

1t is possible that the butcher birds
curious and cruel habit" Of impaling
various creatures upon hedge thorn is
his way Of supporting his wife during
her period Of seclusion. OF many spe-
cies the female is fed by the male on
the nest. but the butcher birds prey
consists often of creatures which are
too large to be eaten at a mouthful.
Even If the male could always drag
these carcasses to the nest it is obvi-
Gus that the female could not eat them
there, so the Harder" may have been
hit upon as a happy device to get over
the difficulty, the female fitting thith-
er to help herself whenever she is hun
gry.-Country Life.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-03-31

The native with a stogie met the na
tive with pipe.
"Howdy, zebT quoth the stogie ma
tive. "Hear bout th' fuss down tc
tn courthouse?"
"Nope." drawled the man with the
pipe. what was it aboutY
why, Jim Simpson has been suin'
Abner Hawley for alienatin' tn af-
fections Of his wife. an Jedge Mus
grove told tn jury to bring in a YER
dick Of cents damages, cause he
thought that was all the damage was
worth to Jim. An Jim's wife got mad
an threw a chair at tn jedge, an he
had her arrested an put in th' cooler"
"But didn't tn jedge go a leetle too
far when he fixed her value so low"
mot at all, not at ALL You see, he
was her first husband" d."-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-03-31
CRAWFORD IN KILTs.
The Novslists Remark When He Saw
Himself as a Child.


One Of the lest known guides in the
capitol at Washington used to he
Colonel Jasper Il. Snow, formerly a
Kansas City lawyer. who always sat
IN Republican conventions and voted
for Blaine as long as there was a
Blaine to vote for.
Colonel snow used to tell this little
story of the late Marion Crawford.
He had met Mr.. Crawford in Flor
ence. Italy, and when the novelist
came to Washington Colonel Snow was
the first person who showed him the
doors made by the novelist's father
Thomas Crawford.
These are the senate bronze doors
on the eastern portico. They repre-
sent scenes connected with the Revo-
luton and the founding Of the govern
ment
The panel representing Washington's
reception at Trenton when on his way
TO his Inauguration in New York con-
tains among the populace portrait fig
ures of the sculptor, his wife. his
three children and Randolph Rogers,
the sculptor of the main doors Of the
capitol.
The novelist. who had never seen
the doors before, quickly identified his
mother and father.
Yes said he, mother used to
wear her hair just like that"
Then. gazing at the largest child,
Fauntleroyish figure in kilt, with long.
flowing hair, he added speculatively:
But l wonder if l ever really did
look like that"-New York Sun.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-03-31
THE COVETED PLANT.
Just a Bit of Human Nature In a
Florists Shop.

Just q Bit of Human Nature In q
Florists Shop.
Two little girls entered florists
shop. So near each other in size were
they that they would have been taken
for twins. They had 20 cents-10 cents
apiece-and with this sum saved from
pennies for some time back they were
going to buy a plant for mamma. One
stepped out little in advance Of the
other when the door closed behind
them. The other was shy, looking
timidly, but confidently, at her sister.
The woman in charge of the small
shop looked up as the two mites of
humanity paused in front Of her.
'Well?" she said encouragingly.
1--WE want to buy plant" said the
little spokeswoman. Then she added,
in order to avoid later embarrassment.
THE cheapest one you've got''
"Ah," said the florist, going to the
window. "here is nice little plant
for % cents"
The little sister turned quickly to
the other, but still smiling bravely.
Baby, we've just missed it a nick
Ell" she said.
Yet not three minutes later they is
sued from the shop bearing the plant
between them, and as the woman de-
posted the two silver dimes in the
cash drawer her eyes must have
caught their CLEAN, for there was
something shining there.-New York
Times.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-03-31
THE AMERICAN ACCENT.
An English Writer Frees His Mind on
the Subject.

/
"The American accent" writes a
contemporary correspondent. "is far
less irritating than the cockney dla-
iect. and 1t would be well for us If the
former. which is at least musical,
could be substituted for the cacopho-
nous patois of our east end"
AS matter of fact. we think that
the cockney accent has a certain num-
Der of real admirers. but what we
wish TO call to our readers minds par
ticularly is that America has its cock
ney. so to speak, precisely as we have.
People in Kentucky have rather
burrish way of speaking, ana they
loathe and detest the fruity twang
which overwhelms New England. The
westerner, again, is responsible for the
dialect which was supplied on the
English boards by stage Yankees.
Whether you acquire the American
accent or not depends on the length Of
time you remain in America English
men who stay in New York for pro-
tracted periods preserve their native
cadences intact. 1t is the man who
pays flying visit to the United States
who comes back and always says
mop" for mo" and yep" for "yes."
Once we met a man who had re-
turned from d weeks stay in Boston.
He said he had heard it was easy to
acquire the twang and finally exclaim-
ed. "Waal, stranger l guess it may be
dead easy for some. but not for Blank
z. Asterisk," meaning himself. "Now,
what's your opinion? Am l right?'-
London Globe
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-03-31
THE vORACIoUS TUNAs.
What Happens When They Meet a
School Of Flying Fish.

/
What Happens When They Meet a
School Of Flying Fish.
One time at San Clemente we sight
ed feeding school of tuna, an exhil-
arating sight A flying fish weighing
pound and half or more would
start from the water and soar an ex-
traordinary distance, nearly out of
sight, but every inch of that fight l
knew was covered by a big tuna keep
ing his place just beneath the f1ier and
ready to seize it the moment it fell
into the water. This rarely failed
The moment the fish began to drop
the tuna would spring at it like a
tiger, turning and tossing the spume
into the air with a splendid and cleo
trifying rush, a maneuver that was
repeated all over the blue channel.
The sensational charge meant that a
school of tunas had discovered a school
of its natural prey, flying fishes. At
once the lust for blood and food was
on, and carnage was the result.
have observed some curious scenes
at sea, but never have / seen fear so
forcibly expressed as by a school of
flying fishes, exhausted and at the
mercy of the voracious tunas. l have
had them gather about my boat and
cling to its keel as closely as they
could, while the air was full of leap
ing tunas and soaring fish. At such
times when school Of sardines is
rounded up the fishes are so terrified
that men have rowed up to them and
scooped them in by the pailful.-Out-
fno