The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-09-13

more man insisted, and upon further refusal
waxed wrathful, whereupon the examiner called
the bouncer.
An inventor in Highlands, Co.. recently OBJ
tanned patent upon an arship that contains all
the comforts of home. In the drawings 1t re-
sembes an enlarged picture of sort OF
bug, with row of eyes along the side and
rufae down Its back; on inspection the ruf1e
solves itself into the railing along the upper deck
and the eyes into windows of the various state
rooms on the ship
The lace curtains of each window care
fully Topped back as not to obscure the view.
A staircase leads down from the hatchway that
modest women may alght without undue expo
sure Of lingerie. Everything want is
shown, even to the buffet-that is, all except the
machinery, which is probably in the cellar OF the
craft with the laundry tubs and the furnace
A man of Bergen, N. j. has patented what
looks like a large metallic box turned upside
down. There Is no bottom in it. In the side
walls are circular openings and In these
tary fans, which suck the air into the box The
aeronaut sits In a car suspended from the box.
When the Bergen man wants to fly he turns
the power onto his fans; these pump air into the
box. 1t can only escape downward, and the reac-
ton from this powerful draft will force the box
upward. causing 1t to fy-so runneth the patent
specification.
An expert of the patent office figured out that
a blast strong enough to lift the combined weight
of machine and aeronaut would blow hole in
the ground big enough to hide elephant. What
happens to the unfortunate hero who sits below
In the teeth of this tornado will probably be told
In the supplemental application recently fled
genius from GAINESVILLE, Tenn, would fly
by tncasing himself in rubber suit, much like
that of diver, to which attached hollow
wings filled with liquid air. The release Of the
air through Waived vents downward and back.
ward propels him upward and forward. There
are no eyeholes in the casing, but" naively
remarks the inventor, "the air pressure from
without Will enable the aeronaut to determine h..
direction" which is rather vague sort of com.
pass
From gay Paree comes Edouard Wulr, with a
patented scheme for flying by means OF eagles,
vultures or condors." True to the instincts
OF his native city, he fits out his birds with cor
SETS" the specifications of which as to trimmings.
binding, etc. are carefully set out
B. Szantmiklosy, from Budapest, Hungary also
has patented a birddrven airship but limits his
motors to ducks; why ducks is not set FORTH
OF course Chicago has to shy her castor into
the ring. She turns up with a combination
MISUNDERSTANDING, with bay windows and
balconies In the body of the building, "emnently
adapted for flying through the air or navigating
the water" saith the patent. 1t has q hullshaped
body. and the vessel can go from air to water
and from water to air without disturbing the
poker game In the smoking room.
but woman from Brooklyn goes the Chicago
man one better. II some night the lonely way
AoA ca 40 Std1eicu ny the appearance or huge,
nondescript bird that alights In the roadway and
goes steeplechasing cross country with Barney
Oldfeld speed until 1t reaches nearby lake. over
which 1t rapidly skins, until landing on the fur
Their shore, 1T rises into the air again, and disap
pears over the horizon with parting firt OF it's
tail. let not that wayfarer hasten to the nearest
parsonage and sign the pledge. The bird he has
seen is real. for it is only the lady from Brooklyn
taking an after-dinner spin in her newest inven
ton. ship that can make lightning change