Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-07-28

Ruse
But II Was Very Unexpectedly
Thwa;ted.
By WILLARD BLAKEMAN
Copyright. 1910, by American Press
Association.


EN~~C>NN~~N~~~~N~~~~[
On coming home from business
found my wife in the dumps,
whats the matter. dear% i asked.
Its all up with u.s."
Bottom dropped out of the uni
HerseT'
Worse. Aunt Abigail will have to
live with us. She's written that her
friend with whom she has had home
is to give up her house the 1st of May,
and that throws her out. | am her
only relative. and of course she ex-
poets me TO take her in."
''She's bit cranky. isn't she?'
Cranky is no name for it."
'Well, wen have to make the best Of
et."
Aunt Abigail arrived. We had previ-
Dusly considered our home entirely our
own. With the coming of our relative
we saw at once that all this was
changed. She settled herself down
with an appearance of permanency
WELL" she exclaimed. looking about
her. "how did you ever come TO build
this house down in a hollow-it must
have been a swamp once-when you
could as well have put it up on that
hill. where you could see something?
I'VE live here winter and summer.
Aunt Abigail. Up there we would
freeze in cold weather"
Freeze. Nonsense, Some people are
always afraid they'll breathe a little
fresh air. I'm not. | sleep with my
window open. and like to have a gale
blowing in right on me. You should
nave fronted your house to the south
Il can't stand this. We must get rid
of her, | said to my wife"
'TTo turn her out would be awful"
I'VE needn't do that. We can fix it
30 that she will so of her own accord"
''For heavens sake explain"
| You know the homeopathic princi-
ple-like cures like. Well. my Uncle
Robert is more disagreeable. if that is
possible. than your Aunt Abigail. He
is a dictatorial old curmudgeon. with
no respect for any ones opinion but
his own. He is as poor as a church
mouse, living in miserable room in
roOkery by himself He amuses him
self abusing his neighbors from his
window and shying anything he can
get his hands on at the cats. Now. 1t
has occurred to me to bring him here
as foil for your aunt. She can't pos
sibly endure to stay in the house with
such a man. and when she's gone I'll
find way to get rid of Uncle Robert.
Perhaps they may both go to get rid
of each other"
your plan seems rather impractical
ble to me. Billy, but have good deal
of confidence in those roundabout ways
of yours. Suppose we try it?"
So i wrote Uncle Robert offering a
home temporarily and. If he liked it.
as long as he lived. He accepted eager
BY. and it was not long before he was
down upon US bag and baggage.
! MY dear boy" he exclaimed. pat
ting me on the back. "how you do re-
'mind me Of your father! He and
were inseparable as boys, and I've car
Tied you on my shoulder often. And
20 think that I'm to have a home with
you. Put me anywhere A garnet is
good enough for a broken down old
cOdger like me. Phew: Somebody's
been smoking here. Do you smoke?
How hate tobacco! 1t makes me
sick"
Il won't smoke any more In the |
house since you've come. uncle" said.
''Oh, don't mind me. | can stand |
anything; got to stand it. I've made |
a dead failure Of life and don't deserve |
anything else. You don't mind my
opening the window, do you-just to
3et the OdOr out?"
Fanny has a bad cold. you know"
''Just the thing to cure her. Let her
breathe the cool air of heaven"
Up went the window and out Of the
room went Fanny. Half an hour after
my uncle arrived dinner was announc-
ed. was watching our guests when
they entered the dining room. 1t was
like dog and cat at 6rst catching
sight of each other. Both seemed to
crouch for an encounter Neither
spoke to the other for some time after
taking seats at table Then a remark
of Uncle Roberts ruffled Aunt Abigail.
This women's voting craze he
was beginning
Voting what sir?'
Craze. madam" raising his voice.
"Fm not deaf. l heard you well
enough. ! object to you calling wom-
ans suffrage a craze"
Are you an advocate Of woman's
suffrage. madam"
4 most assuredly am"
Z believe in any one who advocates
q principle standing by that principle
End not attempting to straddle"-
SIR
THAT is. to equivocate or knuckle
down. defending the cause with all
his or her strength. Per contra. l re-
serve the same privilege for myself
suffrage ] consider the most
abominable. diabolical. illogical rot
that was ever sprung on a Christian
people"
"And 1 consider it one of the holiest
causes
Aunt Abigail interposed my wife
''do let me help you TO this little bit
Of wing. You're not eating enough to
feed a sparrow"
]