Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-05-27
For An Idle Moment


The suffragette was practicing her adj
dress for the WOman'5 Rights club at her
own little home. Her words were de-
| faint. "WOmen are the real rulers" she
| Grated. "Men are mariOnettes. Since
the beginning of time woman has been
the real power behind the throne; now
she fearlessly demands her place on the
throne. She is triumphant; she defes
the world She"
Just then the dOOrbell rang. "May /
see the head of the house mOment?"
asked the waiting book agent.
Gle is not at home" said the suffra-
gette, slamming the door and resuming
her OratOry. Let me see, where was II"
81 lost $4,000 last night" observed the
noted lecturer, who charged so cents a
word for his oratory.
'HOW was that-poker ?" inquired the
man who didn't care much for lectures
anyway.
mo. Talked in my Sleep" replied the
lecturer, wiping away tear.
AprOpOs of Speaker Cannon and his
difficulties in the house, Jerome S. Nc
Wade said:
Speaker Cannon is crafty. He gets
his own way. He reminds me of dea
con notorious for being long winded. II
he rose to speak at prayer meeting or re-
vival or love feast he was sure to keep
the floor half an hour. 1t was on the
deacOn's account when a tremendous
conflict rose over the building Of a new
wing to the church, that a rule was
made that no speaker, at the final build
ing discussion, should talk longer than
five minutes.
"At the final discussion, held in the
Sunday school, half dozen speakers had
promptly when tap OF the bell an
nOunced that time was up, and then the
deacon rose.
"The deacon droned on in his Old
familiar way, and when the bell rang he
had not even got to his subject. The
BELLS sharp tinkle caused him to start
and frown.
Gam [ to understand he said, that
my five minutes have eXpiredT
Yes, Deacon said the pastor, and the
audience Uttered slightly.
"'Then, BRETHREN said the deacon, L
will throw the rest OF my remarks into
the form of prayer"
First LADY, was SO sorry to hear of
poor Mrs. Browns death. What was her
complaint? Second Lady-Oh, didn't
you know? The poor thing was found
asphyxiated. First Lady-GoOd gra-
ciOus, you do surprise me! | always
thought she was teetotaler.
Charley, dear" said young Mrs. Tor
kins, you must stop worrying about
household details"
Whats the trouble nOw?"
"YOu were talking in your sleep again
last night. Every once in while you
would use some eXpletive and say,
Gimme some more chips You really
must get your mind off the wood pile
Mayor Magee of Pittsburg was talking
about an obstinate man.
''He is 'sOt' in his ways" said the
mayor. "He is as bad rs the old planter
of history.
can old planter in the palmy days be-
fore the war was blown up in steam
boat accident on the Mississippi. They
fshed him out unconscious. At the end
of an hours manipulation he came to.
"'Where am I?' he asked, lifting his
head feebly.
"'Safe on Shore the doctor told him.
(Which side of the river?' he inquir-
| ed.
"'The Iowa side,' the doctor replied.
"The planter frowned. He looked at
the turbid yellow stream. Then he said.
"'Just my luck to land in prohibit
ton state. Chuck me insagain.
Now" said an Irishman, after a Sc
rious accident to fellow miner, well
have to send some man to break the
news to Moriarity's wife,"
"Send Hannigan," suggested one of
the gang ''He's just the man to break
the news gradual-he stuttersH'
In certain town where two brothers
are engaged in d hOuriShing retail coal
bHsines series of revival meetings were
held, and the elder brother of the firm
was converted.
For weeks after his conversion the
brother who had lately ''gOt religion
endeavored to pursuade the other to join
the church. One day, when the older
brother was making another effort. he
asked: "Why can't you, Richard, join
the church as / did,"
Its all right for you to be member
of the church," replied Richard, but il
l join, who's going to weigh the coal?"
Nj. C. Woodland Of Portland, Oregon
has been the guest of his father, M. J
Woodland and brothers F. E. and W.