New-York tribune., 1910-09-21

Chicago. an Chicago.
Weep not because your size
Has failed to meet your notion
OF census enterprise
You know, Unhappy Husky.
" any rate you should.
That all of Us. regardless.
Are bigger than were good
W. J. LANPTON.
Certain members Of the house party were
describing the accidents that had happened
to them during their various careers Ad-
been well received. and De SappIeby,
eager for fame. thought it was his turn
''D.you know" he said. ''I had {. very
painful experience once I ran Conf0und-
under my finger naii, don't you know
Really. Mr.. de Sapnleby." said maiden
OF the party. How did you do it, ~.
Well lie said, lit happened like this. .
As lie spoke he uuconsciously raised his
hand and scratched his forehead.
oh. see she interrupted. sweetly;
How very careless Of you. Paul
Dispatch
There is a roltop desk i'll an office near
Wall street which can he bought cheap.
The owner is q commuter and has desk
room in a large office. He came late yes
terday and discovered that he had forgot
ten his keys No key at hand would unlock
the desk, the maker could not give aid for
an hour. it was a short day and some pa
rers had to be reached before noon. The
desk was forcibly opened and two inner
compartments were smashed Warm and
tired frcn the exertiou of wreckinS his
property. the man took off his coat and
slipped into an office coat. in the pocket Of
which his keys jinsled. Tsbleau. Before
going home he confded to the Office boy
/. IL E.,Ir t11A
Several lawyers IN q. Southern city were
discussing the merits and demerits of well
known member of the bar who had been
gathered to nis fathers when one of the
part related an incident Of the time when
he had studied III tho old mans Office.
Il seems that the iueThcienrv Of the COPY
ing clerk there kept the Judge continually
worked up 70 the point OF explosion. One
dsy = wire basket fell off the top Of the
clerks desk and scratched his cheek Not
Slapped on three postage stamps and went
on with his work.
Later in the day he had occasion 10 take
certain papers TO the court and. forgetting
all about the stampe. he put on his hat to
go cut At the door he met the judge. who
raised his head and fixed the clerk with an
Anything wrong. sir?" stammered the
beVildeTe1 clerk.
YES, STR. there is" Numbered the old
gentleman. You carving too much
postage for second class nattcr"'-LAppfn-
colt >.
The Health Board Of Hartford, Conn, the
other day received this unique complaint
Gentlemen: Bantam rooster in rear 8 East
street * wonder for noise he can make:
is an unbearable nuisance to the tired
at night and sick by day. He opens bazoo
a. m. crows thirty-three times: a. m,
forty-four times; Il. H., fifty-five times;
6 q. m, sixty-six times; a. IN, seventy
seven times. Please request owner TO put
him IA the soup pot and oblge."
Tho fondness OF babes for rattlcs has
been taken advantage of 10y mothers dur
irg many millenuums. Egyptian tombs
have yielded specimens which delighted
Youngsters who fought flies or submitted
to be eaten by them over four thousand
wears ago on the banks Of the Nile. But
so far as we can learn. the little Pharaohs
never amused themselves with live rat
tie. as American babes do VINO flourish in
countries infested by rattlesuakes. The
ancieuts were great serpent CharmerS, but
they were not in It with the modern prod
uct OF Blue Tent, in this state. who gets
his amusement out OF Il live rattler, San
Francisco Chronicle.
sobricty is increasing in the United King
dom the convictions for drunkenness show
ing a falling off last year OF 1926. or nearly
20 rer cent, from those OF the year before
There vas falling 81 in the number Of
lcais.a - =. Er-lans and Wales IN 1919 n