Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1910-01-13
| he Drama I aught
by Mail
Wood B. Booth. Mulligrub, Mis-

Il
souri,
/ Dear Sir: Your application for in
struction by mail calculated to fit you
for the ordinary villainous part in a
melodrama received and filed. Your
remittance of so is hereby acknowl.
edged
We have turned out of our CORE
| sopondence school some of the most
| villainous actors now on the stage,
and each succeeding season we are
| making them more So One of our
| pupils was set upon by an angry audi.
/ ence in Texas a few weeks ago and
beaten within an inch of his life, so
naturally and villianously did he car.
| ry out his part In THE Unwound
handspring; or, The Watch That
| Failed He has sent us a splendid
testimonial, with his photograph aft
| or the attack, a copy of which we in
| close as an additional assurance of
our skill at making villains by mail
| For your first lesson we append q
few suggestions as the basis for your
| future work Follow directions care
| fully and advise us when you have
mastered these elementary principles
| First. tia teeth: You must learn to
| grind them readily, with a graf
| ing sound that can be heard as far as
| the gallery
Some villains carry along a prop
erty dentist to grind their teeth for
them, or employ local dentist as a
/ "supe." This will not do, Every
/ really successful villain should learn
to grind his own teeth. We have a
small emery toothgrinder that we
| sell at rs cents that has proved very
| satisfactory. In case the necessities
| of the drama requires the teeth to be
! ground several times in the course
| OF one performance you should have
| supply of our emery grinders in
your vest pocket We make special
| rates on them by tn : dozen, and they
will be OF great service to you.
Second the hair: 1t must be jet
! black and curly II you have natural
| ~ black and curly hair so much the
better. 1t will not take so much of
| your attention Otherwise remit SO. so
for quart of our jet dye, guaranteed
not go turn green, spot, freckle or
scale. We have also a pocket curler.
| inexpensive and efficient and we pre-
| pare a rhinoceros grease hair wax
which lasts indefinitely and keeps the
1 ringlets always in condition. Espe-
| cial attention must be paid to these
details Of the hair The villain whose
hair comes ont of curl at a critical
point in the play is lost.
Third, the walk The villains walk
| is essential to success. You should
stand before the pier glass at least
four hours a day and practice the
| strut, the glide and the swagger.
Strut until you are in a light perspir.
and finally swGgger until you ara
steaming hot Remember, you must
never appear on the stage with an or
binary carriage When you threaten
| the heroine strut; when you steal
the child. glide; when you wave the
| mortgage that is to rob her of the
| old farIn, sWagger For practice you
| may wave Part of an old newspaper
| and swagget before the glass until
you are thoroughly aroused and feel
villainous. Then write lis for further
| instructions
Fourth, setting the teeth: Certain
| of your lines must be Missed through
your set teeth. The success of these
| lines depends upon getting the teeth
| properly set Setting the teeth is &C.
CURED only by long practice
Fifth, the speech: When you. have
learned to hiss through your set teeth
little alcohol or gasoline will dis
solve the tooth setting and you are
| free again to resume your villainy
The speech now becomes of prime
| Importance. A good many of your
| best lines depend upon it. For your
| first lessons take these words, which
you will have frequent need of:
"Tush!" Very expressive and ne
cessary. Tush before the glass about
so times, putting worlds of scorn into
each tush
BAH" This is one of the most
important words in your vocabulary.
| A good bah will always bring down
the house The bah must come from
the very lower lobes of the lungs or,
better STILL the abdomen. A little
bah that comes from only the back
teeth will not do. You will need 70
bah at the heroine, the hero, the hon
est but supplemented farm hand. and
possibly at the police. With the right
kind OF a BAH you will be able to get
through four or five acts before you
are caught. A poor bah may land you
in the tolls in the second act
"Pish Hah, Fudge!'' These
and other EXPLANATIONS should be
carefully rehearsed. After you have
Judged until you feel proficient, hah
literally Do not neglect these.
Sixth. the "Kuh-hurses!" These
are highly important 1t may be ne,
heap kuh-hurses on some one For
this purpose we supply small pack
age of assorted Kuh-hurses, guaran.
teed to keep in any climate, always
fresh and vigorous, good, hardy stock
Thus supplied. when you say "Kuh-
nurses on you!" you may shower
few Of our specially prepared ones
about. They are evaporated kuh.
nurses, but freshen readily In a little
water
A small box of them will last you
Indefinitely.
| This will constitute vour first Iea