davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04
NOT TO BE MENDED.


Charles Dickens once wrote to Il
friend, Il have distinguished myself in
two respects lately took a young
lady, unknown, down to dinner. and
talked to her about the Bishop of Dur
hams nepotism in the matter of Mr..
Cheese. found she was Mrs. Cheese.
And eXpatiated to the member for
Marylebone, thinking him to be an
Irish member, on the contemplate
character Of the Marylebone constitu-
ton, and the Marylebone representa-
tive
Two such mishaps in one evening
we're enough to reduce the most bril-
liant talker to the condition of the
three inside passengers of a London
bound coach. who beguiled the tedium
Of the journey from Southampton by
discussing the demerits of William Cob
bett, until one of the party went so
far as to assert that the object of their
denunciation was a domestic tyrant,
given to beating his wife.
Much to his dismay, the solitary
woman passenger, who had hitherto sat
silent listener, remarked
Pardon me, sir. kinder husband
and father never breathed; and | ought
to know, for | am William Jobbetts
wife"
Mr. Giles of Virginia and Judge
Duval of Maryland, members of Con
gress during Washington's administra-
ton, boarded at the house of a Mrs.
Gibbon. whose daughters were well on
in years, and remarkable for laxative
ness
When Jefferson became President,
Duval was Comptroller of the Treas
ury, and Giles a Senator Meeting one
day in Washington, they fell to chat
ting over old times, and the Senator
asked the Comptroller if he knew what
had become of that cackling old maid,
Jenny Gibbon."
She is Mrs. Duval, sir" was the un-
expected reply
Giles did not attempt to mend mat
ters, as certain Mr.. Tuberville un'
wisely did Happening to observe TO a
fellow guest that the lady who had
sat at his right hand at dinner was
the ugliest woman he had ever beheld,
the person addressed expressed his re-
greet that he should think his wife so
Unlocking.
Il have made a mistake" said the
Mortified Tuberville Il meant the
lady who sat on my left"
We'll, sir, she is my sister,
This brought the frank avowal: 1t
can't be helped, sir: for if what You
say be true, ! confess / never saw
such an ugly family in the course of
rY life
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04
AN OBSCURE BENEFAcroR.
William Henry DaIIinEer Fitted To
Rank w 'th Great Seientists

William Henry DaIIinger Fitted tn
Rank With Great Scientists
Many men receive extended obituary
notice who deserve it far less than
lid modest and unpretentious Meth
odist minister who died in England
few days ago. The name of William
| Henry Dallinger has not been greatly
| trumpeted about, but it was borne by
man who is entitled to be ranked
among those scientists of the past gen
sration who contributed materially and
much toward the ascertainment of
truth, and especially of that truth
which is of greatest fascination and
Importance origin and nature of
life, the New York Tribune says.
Dallinger became especially interest
ed in this subject about forty years
ago, when the old controversy over
spontaneous generation was revived.
with Bastian and Tyndall as opposing
protag onists.
While he stood in the background
his researches and observations were
of inestimable advantage to Tyndan,
and, indeed, to all scientists, both in
the direct result of his laboratory
work and also in the great impetus
which he gave to the Improvement of
microscopic lenses. His painstaking
Investigations, which extended through
many years. confirmed in the most con
vincing manner the conclusions of Pas
teur and Tyndall that spontaneous
generation was a myth and that all
life must come from pre-existing life
1t was Pasteur's demonstration of
that fact which inspired and enabled
Lister to establish antiseptic surgery.
From the reafirmation of it by Tyn-
dali and equally by Dallinger, has pro-
ceeded our whole system of antibac-
terial sanitation and therapeutics. And
every triumph of mosquito netting
over yellow fever and malaria. of the
water boiler and filter over cholera
and typhoid, and of the rat trap over
bubonic plague proclaims the vast
benefits to the human race which have
accrued from the painstaking labors
Of these searchers after truth
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04
Girls Sold for Opium.

The natives of Sarangani, a group of
islands to the south of Mindanao island.
are Offering in barter young girls, eacn
for an ounce of opium. according to w.
s. Lyon, a hOrticulturst, who returned
TO Manila from 4 trip through the south
coast Of Mindanao. Mr.. Lyon is engaged
in securing specimens of tropical fruits
for the department of agriculture at
Washington. Mr.. Lyon reports that there
is considerable traffic in opium in south
Mindanao, carried on by way Of Palm
island. The government cutters visit
that district occasionally, but they are
lacking in number and facility TO sup
press the traffic
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04
Useless, but Harmless.

On one occasion judge gave an ex-
haustiye decision in . ease. after which
the lawyer for the plaintiff arose ana
questioned it.
Pardon me, said his lordship. II
cannot allow You to reopen this case
after | have given my final decision.
| may be wrong. but that is NV opin-
ION"
The lawyer rudely replied:
Then, m'lud, | know it Is no use my
Knocking my head against brick wall
| suppose | must sit down"
The Judge adjusting his eyegla sses
and looking sarcastically ut the lawyer
said:
Sir, | know il is Of no use for YOU
to knock your head against a brick wnJI
but | may add. | know no one else
who could perform such an operation
with less injury 10 himself than YOU
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04
Strauss Operas IN London.

London opera lovers are To have an
opportunity of hearing the new Richard
Strauss works that have been making
such furore on the continent and il.
America 'Salome" and Electra" are
announced for production at Covcnt
Garden Opera house in February. They
will be performed by the original Ger
man company with the new symphony
orchestra Ga London organiza tom, unde r
the management of Thomas Beechan.
The season will be distinct from the usll-
i'll season of grand opera under the Co
vent sarden mama ement.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04
THE REWARD.

Who storms the moss grown walls az ELI.
And strikes some well-loyed faIseheos
down.
Shall pass the pallid gates If DEATH
SANS laurel, love- or crown.
Who secs the chains that bind mankind.
And spends his life 10 strike them on.
Shall win the venOmed hate Of fools,
IhGrns, and the inerate's scofT.
But faiI not. o We kings of meni
This draught comes not alone TO thee:
For Christ. one bitter midnight. drained
The cup GethSemane.
Don Mnrnitis
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04
To Phyllis.

10 PhyIlIS.
As he dictated it,.
Phyllis. up in the morning,
Spirit Of love and spring;
Phyllis, 1.-THE as the willow
Voice like the birds that sing;
Phyllis, full of the sunshine
Sparkling like drops of dew;
Phyllis, Phyllis. . Phyllis,
This Is song for you,
Phyllis. why do sou lingcr3
Why do your feet remain?
Phyllis, we wait your coming
Over the hloom-deckcd plain
Phyllis-a Drumming beaker
Now your health we quah
Setting our hearts all leaping
Lighter than wind-bIown chaT
DO FILL Us.
As his stenographer took it'll
Fiji uS mp in the morning,
Spirits of loving spring!
Fill ms tight as Il pillow
Boys like the birds that sing.
FIJI rs full of moOnShine.
Sparkling Ike dropsy due
Fill MS fill MS, oh. fiji usi
This Is too strong for YOU
FIJI us! why do you finger?
Why are your feet in pain?
Fill u.s. We wait your cunning
over the gloom necked plain
fil us Il brimming beaker
Now to your healthy graft.
Sending our haItshOrn leaping
Light as a ringhoned calf
The Postal Record.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04
uninvited Club Visitor.

When some of the coolies of the Bang
kok Uniteu club opened door in small
room under the ladies' staircase the
ether morning they found that large
python had taken up its abode within.
There was Il stampede Immediately. and
some members of the club. hearing the
noise. went to investigate the cause. BY
this time the snake was aroused and
ghded away down large ventilating
shaft The python was between 10 and
l. feet in Iength.-Java Times
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04

The police of Rome have arrested two
notorious hunko steerers and all-rOund
confidence men who gave their names as
0'Connor and Wood. The arrests of the
two men were made just after they got
possession of $4,000 which they had OBJ
tanned from a New Yorker who gives
his name as Mr.. Marker. The arrest
made on complaint of the manager of the
Cafe Aragato. who had watched the two
men at work. When they were searched
Mr.. Markers money was found i'm their
possession. How many men have been
robbed by the NO is not known.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04
A Hero Becomes Scientist.

Col Marchand. the French officer who
became famous in 1898 when the Fasho-
da incident nearly sent France and Eng
land to war, is seeking fame now as Il
scientist.
He is said to he preparing Il work On
astronomy which is likely to cause a sen
sation III the scientific world. upsetting
several firmly rooted theories in astron-
omy. The colonel has been pursuing his
study of the stars under African skies.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04
A Girl Worth Having.

Miss Della Howard, aged 80 years. is
not only holding down a claim near Car
ter. s. D.. but she has constructed sod
barn for her team of horses. keeps IL dog
for companion and finds time TO main
tain country Sunday school which she
organized near her home. Her claim is
within a mile of the new townsite Of
Garter. and is considered worth fully
$4,000
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04
REMUNERATION.
! 1t Is Woven Into a Plea by a japanese
Murderess

murueTeSS.
Rencarnation was made the defense
for murder in the trial at Toxic of a
woman named Yasu and her sweetheart
Yataro The two are accused of killing
Yasu'S husband Kichigoro YaSu de-
livered an extraordinary address to the
Judge. Listen with your whole-souled
attention" she began, lest you should
miss my words and ask me to speak
again, which | viii never do. | had a
very profound motive in killing my hus-
band, I<ichigOro. L; was all due to the
dispensation of Providence. In my pre-
vious existence l was a beautiful geisha
named Yakichi. A certain feudal lord
fell in love with me and proposed to buy
me. | disliked him, yet what could
| do? He madly insisted and | had no
choice but to yield. In this sad predica-
ment a gallant knight whose name was
Sadaemon bravey came forward to my
rescue, He declared that l should not
be welded TO the man ] disliked. and
then and there took me from the inilu-
ming of the genuine love that sprang
up between the knight and myself. and
finally ended i'll our happy marriage
My benefactor in the previous life is
the 6ef-same Yataro rs he now stands
before you. The husband l killed was
in the former era only my errand boy.
Imagine the wrath of Providence for
my preposterous act in deserving my real
husband and benefactor and marrying
the servant. Heaven threatened me if
persisted in this hideous sin. So in
obedience 10 the will of Providence
took the life of Kichigoro the reincar-
nation of my former servant. Sentence
was postponed after the prosecutor had
demanded the death penalty
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04
A Modiste Fined

To the surprise of the customs au-
thorities and government prosecuting Of
hcers. Augusta Windmuller. one of the
fashionable dressmakers indicted recent
for conspiracy to defraud the treasury
by means of sleeper trunks" appeared
before Judge Noyes Of the United States
circuit court. entered a plea of guilty To
the indictment, was fined $500, which
she promptly paid and was permitted
TO 20 free
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04
Hair Burned OFF,

In driving her hair after a bath, Mrs
Margaret Hinger Milligan, rich and
fashionable young matron of Pittsburg
received severe burns Her hair was
burned from her head and her eyes are
thought to have suffered injury. Elk
ploSion Of celluloid combs. which Mrs
Milligan. bride, was placing in her
hair. caught fire. Her maid. in a frenzy.
was dragged from the dressing room
cingng to the imperled woman DIR.
Robert NIilligan, the husband, rushed
to the rescue and beat out the flames.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04
Congressional Malhem.

Some statesmen who are drawing nigh
All hraNely pcrSeYerc.
They want to catch the Speakers eye;
Likewise 90 get his ear,
They strive To lead him 10y the nose
Though he for help may beg;
And others, SO the story goes,
Aspire TO pull his leg,
They seek his scalp with dire intent
And often we turu paie
TO hear that some one has been sent
To skin him without fail.
The awful question haunts us stnl
Wherever we may GO
II all these plans succeed what viii
BE left of Uncle JoeF
Washington Star.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04

Earlie-What's a sickle, pa?
His Pa--It's to cut grass with. my
son. Sometimes YOU will see a tramp
carrying one around with him in the
winter when he is looking for work.
IS
Teacher-Cun any little hoy tell me
what II pessimist iSE
Tommy Kin, teacher It's a how
what thinks that whra any one is carried
away in n ambulance on his block it'll
sure happen while he's III School-uar-
perS BaZar
"Cohen's i'll in bed, hear" Yes. He
smoked cigar from the wrong pocket
london Opinion.
-
Edgar. l have dreamt three times
that YOU bought me d new hat"
It's fearful; you will ruin me with
your dreams. "-FHegende Biaetter.
-
Cook--lll be LAWN ye2. mum.
Mistress-Nery well. Bridget Keep to
the right Incoming cocks keep To the
left.--Harper's Bazaar
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04
Death in HEADACHE Powders.

The coroner is investigating the sudden
death of Il beautiful girl. She lived
alone in the Ncndome apartments. Phila-
delphia and when she died young man,
said to be member of prominent
Philadelphia family, was with her. The
girl was Rae Boyd, aged -, daughter of
Charles Boyd of Trenton, \. j. Deputy
Coroner Foote reported that Miss Boyd
probably died of heart failure. due to
an excessive use of headache powders.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04

The SybariteS were the inhabitants of
the ancient city of Sybaris, in southern
Italy. founded 720 Il. c. They were so
greatly addicted to voluptuouSness and
self-ind diligence that their name became a
hyword among the peoples of antiquity.
The word "Sybarite'' is used al the
present day. to denote a person devoted
10 luxury and pleasure
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04

The craze for roller rinking in Lon.
don shows no abatement. Thirtv-four
new companies were registered in No
vember, bringing the number registered
since January mp to 219. with a capitaI
exceeding S10.0O0.00O. Two periodicals
ere published dealing solely with rinkinr,
New York sun.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04

An arctic explorer must expect 10
be cur off from communication with
he world"
Yes. They seem to get so much in
the habit of that sort of thing that
they can't stop even after they return
10 civilization. Washington Star.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04
The Best He Could Do.

Explorers hate to take back or amend
anything they have written" said L.
S. Dallenhaugh of the American Geo
graphical society They are like the
Waldo editor there.
a man entered the Waldo editors of
fee and shouted, augrily:
You said in yesterdays paper that
I'd been hanged. It's false I've never
been condemned, let alone hanged
Well, my friend, said the other. It's
our policy never TO issue direct contra
dietlons. They shake the confidence of
the reader. But IN tell you what wen
do for You. Wen say YOU were cut
down before life was extinct 49, ST
Louis Globe Democrat.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04
He was No steeple-chager.

4 New York boy brought home with
him from college friend who had not
visited the metropolis for ten years.
After ii day of sightseeing, the two were
walking down Broadway near Twelfth
street.
'"Oh, Jack" said the guide suddenly,
you remember Grace church, don't
YOU"
Lets see" replied the other with
signs of interest, what company was
she inf Everybody
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04

We have noticed that when we go
hunting, people around the lake say;
ITS too bad you were not here yester-
dayl; ducks were thick yesterday
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04

II you believe in prayer, don't pray
to be delivered from your enemies
pray that you may never hear what
your friends say about you. behind
your back.-Atchison Globe
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04
Chill Orders Guns.

The Chilian government has ordered
from the krupps in Essen. Germany.
240 guns 10 be delivered within three
years
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04

He's a poor lawyer who mistakes
the will for the deed.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04

And vixen cigar is called a weed
the reason is obvious.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04
Business Is Business

Count ito the matrimonial AGENT
One other point. | am living out of the
country; my intended must be shipped
to me. Are your terms L, O. Il. or do
You pay the freight:-Fliegende Blaet-
for
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04

her pretty head in despair II couldn't
do it, not if YOU paid me for it," she
said.-M. \. F.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04
A Few Years Hence

kuickCT-You look tired
Bocker-YCs, was up all night flying
the baby.-Ilarper's Bazaar.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04
One on the Judge

\ newly qualified Judge in one Of the
small towns of the south was trying one
of his first criminal cases. The accused
was an old darby who was charged with
robbing hencoop. He had been in
court before on similar charge and
was then acquitted.
We'll, Tom" began the Judge II see
you're in trouble again"
Eyes. sab" replied the darky. .'the
last time. iedge, you was ma lawyer"
Where is your lawyer this timer
asked the Judge.
Il amt got no lawyer this time am
ewered Tom. I'm going 10 tell the
truth. - Baltimore sun.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04
The College Journalist.

At the University of Missouri is the
first working school of journalism in the
world, As practical laboratory work, a
daily paper with telegraphic reports, is
issued. Walter Williams, is dean, tells
of the vicissitudes he encounters in turn
ing laymen into journalists
\ student was sent in haste to cover Il
railroad wreck at a town a few miles
away. 1t was almost time for the daily
to 90 to press. and still no word had
been received from the young man on
the assignment
In desperation Dean Williams tele-
graphed. asking why the story was not
forthcoming The reply was: Too much
excitement. Wait until things quiet
down. Kansas City Journal.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04
A Mean Landlord.

Mrs. Uptown to lady caller Il do
think We've got the meanest, most penu-
rious and grasping old Shylock of n land
lord that ever lived
Caller-Why do you remain here then?
Why not try some other place If you
don't like the landlord?
Mrs. Uptown-That's just it! He's
that mean he won't let us get far enough
behind with the rent 50 il is really amy
object To us 20 moye.--ludge'S Library.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04
Sorry He Spoke.

Husband have paid your dressmak
err who has been dunning YOU.
Wife-Oh, then | must 20 aud order
new frock or she will think | am offend
ed with her.-Fliegende Blaetter.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04
Undying Love.

Youth-Own up. You don't hate me,
do you?
Beauty-To tell the truth, | hate You
like sin!
Youth--Oh my darling, How happy
you make mei-Smart Set.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04
A Natural Question.

Of the Mauretania, praised the style"
of Jim Ieifries.
It's neat style" he said: meat,
quick, to the point 1t gets there like
the remark of little girl who said to
the minister, III the course of quite in
| terminable call:
:" Did you forget 20 bring your amen
with YOU doctory Washington Star
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04

A handy legged shopman (you could
nave wheeled IA barrow between his legs)
at a recently opened American "em-
p0rium" in London was ushering a pref
ty American girl TO a certain depart
ment. walk this way, please, madame, :"
he said The girl watched his method
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04

OATS
The Tailor-often results in crop of
beats.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04
Worming rs Wares.

An Atlanta grocer told more than he
meant TO in his Christmas advertise
ment:
Apples, Oranges. Imported Nuts,
Fruit Cake.
Shop Now and Avoid the Rush
Remember, the Early Bird Gets the
Worm,
Everyhody's,
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04

He's got no license to talk the way
he does
oh. he's got license, all right.
What he lacks is a muzzle" '--Cleyelan
Leader.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-04
Culture

The Conversationalist Ito well known
authOressl-I am so delighted to meet
you-it was only the other day. saw
something of yours-about something or
other--in some paper!-The Sketch.
The Harlowton news. [volume] (Harlowton, Mont.) 1909-1914, 1910-02-25
ENTHUSIASTIC
MEETING Nj 1;f
Commercial Club Hold Big Meeting
Many Important Things Brought
up and Discussed.

A more enthusiastic bunch of boost
ers. as were found in the Odd Fellow
Hall at the regular semi-monthly
meeting of the Commercial Club last
Monday, cannot be found in any city
in the state. Although the weather
was very rough and stormy, sixty
members of this organization turned
out. and from all indications big
things are forthcoming.
Different matters of Importance
were brought up and the reports OF
several committees were made. Among
the most important things done at
this meeting was the selection of two
leaders for the debate, "Resolved that
the county seat should be removed to
Harlowton. A. T. Anderson was
chosen as leader for the negative and
o. j. Stevens for the affirmative. A.
Il. Anderson picked Frank Conwell
and l. S. McQuitty to fill his team
and Mr.. Stevens picked Il. E. Kirby
and w. G. Husband.
A motion was made by A. J. Dreyer
The Harlowton news. [volume] (Harlowton, Mont.) 1909-1914, 1910-02-25
Father Mueller to the Rescue.

On account of the News man being
tied up at Lewistown and Moore
several days this week in the snow
storm, the News experienced some
what strenuous effort to get the paper
out on time. In the hour of darkness.
when the News force had given up all
hope, Father Mueller, the Catholic
priest from Roundup stepped in. Since
the Father is an old time printer, he
was at once taken in hand and with
out further ceremony led to the
press room, where he was put to work
feeding the press. No mercy was
shown him until the first side of
the News was off the press, after
which the office force gave him a un-
aminous vote Of thanks.