davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-11-17

PATHOS IN INQUIRY THAT HAS
RUNe THROUGH AGES.
How Many Billions Of Times Has the
Question, "What VIII Take the
Shine Of Mems Trousers"
Been Asked

Newark. N. J.-Mr. Editor-Deal
Sir: Kindly answer the following In
the Evening News and oblige: What
will take the shine off mems trous
ers? Yours truly,
INTERESTED
Readers, do not smile. In this let
ter Is a strain of the plaintive SONG
that humanity has been singing ever
since Adam went out looking for the
first job. Eve sang such a song, and
Ruth. and Lots wife, and Jobs wife
and the mother of Moses. and Bath
sheba, and Elizabeth and Martha. All
OF the billions OF women who have
kept house on earth have sung this
song. the song Of poverty and self-de
NAL and makeshift What will keep
the wolf from the door! What will
keep the outgo within the income
What will take the shine off mems
trousers? From creation to resurrec
ton, the same old question Taken
as a symbol of universal need, this
inquiry Is no more ludicrous than the
sob OF an evicted mother, or the wall
Of her starving baby. It's eight words
comprise complete octave, and all
other octaves on the human keyboard
are its coanterparts. The socialist
thunders In heavy bass Let me
share the wealth that l create" In
treble the social climber calls: How
can ] buy an automobile next sum.
mer?" 1t is the same tune, with vari.
ations, the world over.
1t would not be 80 sad tune II
the men would sing 1t with the won.
en-. But the men won't. Eve must
live face to face with II from sunrise
to sunset, and II awaits her the next
morning as fresh and as vivid as ever.
Adam does all he can for the family
and then the task is Ewes. She must
take whatever he can do and do ev-
erything with that. The woman sees
the shine spreading day by day, and.
brooding over It, she seizes some
rare moment of idleness to write to
the editor. What will take the shine
on mems trousers?" No man would
write such query as that. The hand
writing In the letter open here on the
editors desk is woman's.
II the editor knew of anything that
would take the shine off trousers, he
would patent 1t and retire to enjoy
the rich profits arising to him from
that new burden on the monopoly-rid.
den world. But there Is nothing in
the universe that will perform the
work desired. AS well ask for a rec
ipc for restoring the crimson blush
to the faded rose. There Is nothing
that will take the shine off trousers,
and 1t is right that this should be so.
After grandmother. through years Of
toll and care, has earned her beau
tiful wrinkles, would 1t be smart or
truthful or kind to paint her dear old
face with some magic skin prepare
ton and give her the looks Of a girl
OF 20? We are proud of its outward
signs. This is absurd and perverse,
and 1t Is absurd and perverse to be
ashamed Of the shine on a pair of
trousers. II we would only look at
things rightly we should see that the
more shine on pair of trousers the
more honorable they are.
When this worlds cares are over
we expect to wear shining raiment
through the rest of eternity. Why,
then, should we be ashamed Of shiny
trousers now?-Newark News.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-11-17

Mrs. Bessie Face Leonard and the
baby returned TO her home in Green
vile Monday having been guest Of
her pardnts,
Mrs Williston and Miss Fargo, who
had very successful dancing school
here last winter, began their classes
Monday afternoon and evening. Miss
Fargo has been studying with Miss
Mary Wood Human Of Chicago, SO
feels well equipped for the work.-Ionia
Stanard.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-11-17
Helm from the Prod laal.

The prodigal son. repentant. or al
any rate weary of the diet Of husks
forced upon his kind by vigilant po
lice system. had experienced change
of heart and joined the church. The
good sisters were discussing his de-
STABILITY.
But" expostulated Mrs. Straight
lace, with fine and virtuous display
of righteousness, he was a common
gambler"
Isn't 1t lovely" exclaimed Mrs
Uptodate. What a help he can be
in getting up our church bazaars!"
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-11-17
A False Alarm.

Rita docking at photo)-Oh, yes.
he's handsome enough. but he's an
awful bounder.
Stella-What did he do?
Rita-Didn't tell you? He made
an awful fuss with me one season. and
then asked me II I thought the dad
would object to him as a son-in-law.
said no. thought not, and he went
away and proposed to my sister.-n
Illustrated Bits.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-11-17
He Solved IL.

she is an inveterate hunter of bar.
gains"
Nov ! know what led to her re-
mark Last night when she looked into
my eyes after ! failed to take her out
to dinner"
What did she sayY'
Declared very sentimentally that
the eyes are the windows of the soul
and that she Just loved to look In win
dows where she could see something
cheap"
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-11-17

You have had that cook long
time, haven't your?
Quite a while. and she's the goods,
too"
Il wish you'd tell my wife how you
manage to keep her"
II got the mayor of the city to ap-
point her to the Office after giving her
sort of civil service examination.
and now she thinks she's holding a
political Office. you know. ofiiceholders
never let CO."
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-11-17
Encouraorna, Hin

Anyhow" said the fiery young ora.
tor, when | have anything to say
about the infamous trusts don't
mince my words,"
NO, you don't" spoke the old cam
paigner; land when you have learned
how to talk without mumbling them
you'll do nicely for beginner"
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-11-17
Palpably impossible.

II thought you said your son was
highly educated"
"He is. He was the highest man In
his class at college"
Then how do you account for the
fact that he has succeeded in writing
the words of a popular song?"
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-11-17

IN explaining his defeat for represent
alive, friends of w. j. Carbaugh say
that the vets and democrats voted for
Mr.. Bricker and the drys cast their bal
lots for Mr.. Townsend, but where the
republican candidate spoke and met
the people face to face, he rolled up a
large majority.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-11-17

Group is most revalent during the
dry cold weather OF the early winter
months. Parents of young children
should be prepared for il. All that is
needed is a bottle OF Cham berlain,s
Cough Remedy. Many mothers are
never without il in their homes and
IT has never disappointed them. Sold
by all dealers
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-11-17

My birthday comes December Ord
And I've no doubt but you
Would like to help me celebrate
A day so good and true.
! want to win a piano, friends,
So I've made up my mind
To ask you for coupon shower,
If you will be so kind.
So bear in mind the date, please,
And send them by the score.
OF course I've got a lot of them,
But / need whole lot more.
Thanks. LIMA MAY BUSH
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-11-17

state OF Michigan, County OF Ionia IS.
1, w. H. Angel, Asst. Cashier OF the above
named bank, do solemnly swear that the above
sIa.ement Is true TO the best of my knowledge
and belief and correctly represents the true
state OF the several matters therein contain
cd as shown by the books of the bank
w. III. ANGEL.
Asst. Cashier.
day of Nov. 1910
LOUIS A. LEONARD,
Notary Public.
MY commission expires Jan. Is. 1918.
Correct--Attest:
II. J. LEONARD,
u, G. LLOYD,
w. y. HETHERINGTON,
Directors
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-11-17
Blaze at Orleans

The post office building at Orleans
came near going up in fire Thursday
morning. A blaze was discovered on the
roof and before it could be extinguished
quite a portion of it was burned, the
building belonged TO John Greenop and
was occupied by Mr.. Olmstead.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-11-17

Miss o. /. Wood of the Banner force
went TO Coopersville, her home, for an
over Sunday visit Saturday.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-11-17
BELDINC BANNER
ONE DOLLAR PER YEAR
(Ionia County, Mich, by
THE BANNER PUBLISHING co
{. 8. lAPHAM, EDIroR

Advertising Rates upon application. Bills
collected monthly. Cards of Thanks, 25c to
soc. Resolutions from SOC up.
Entered at the Postoffice, Belding Michigan
for transmission through the Mails as Sec.
ond- class Matter
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-11-17
REPORT OF THE CONDITION OF THE
Peoples Savings Bank
RESOURCES.

At Bedding. Michigan at the close OF business
Nov 10th. 1910. as called for by the Commss-
Toner of the Banking Department.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-11-17

For Sale-A house. Enquire of Theo.
Kiskey. 23-w2
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-11-17

Miss Screecher-Would you like to
hear me sing I'm Old Madrid?"
Mr.. Bright (absently)-Yes, IL you
think you could secure long-distance
telephone connections.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-11-17
A I per cent Investment

In order TO enlarge our business we
are placing limited amount OF Pre-
ferred Stock which pays a guaranteed
dividend OF per cent and also enjoys a
~ per cent. participation in all addi-
tlonal profits made. We desire a few
STOCK holders in this local territory and
VIII send you full information on your
request Our offeris very conservative.
but you will find it attractive. Address
at once.
standard Dress Goods Co., Standard
Bldg, Binghamton, NY.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-11-17

To Rent-A large furnished room.
Inquire at lob +. Lewiston st. 22tf
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-11-17

Wanted Situation-At general house
work. Enquire Of phone 200.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-11-17

For Stakeholder tired top buggy,
also barn TO rent. w. ID. Ballou. 22tf
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-11-17
REPORT OF THE CONDITION
OF THE
BeIding Savings Bank

A. Belding' Michigan, at the close OF business
NY, Ioth 1910, as called for by the Com
missioner OF the Banking Department.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-11-17
w ants Business ' Chances "

For Kraut by the crock or barrel
phone w. B. Travis. IS II
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-11-17

n Reliable Medicine--Not Narcotic
Get the genuine Foley's Honey and
Tar In the yellow package. Ii is safe
ana effective. Contains no opiates
8eiuse substitutes. Wortley Il French
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-11-17

For Sale-A few choice single comb
brown Leghorn cockerels. See Fred
McCue, 800 ;. Bridge st. 22-2w
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-11-17

For Sale Cheap-Good 17-jewel watch
in 20-year case. Or will exchange for
good body wood. Inquire at this office.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-11-17

For Sale-Good secondhand furnace.
Ernest Shawley. Phone 306. 22-2w
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-11-17

Newark, N. J.-Mr. Editor-Deal
Sir: Kindly answer the following In
the Evening News and oblige: What
will take the shine off mems trous
ers? Yours truly,
The Montgomery tribune., 1910-04-22
GENIUS AND HARD WORK.

The published production of gen.
Jus is like the personation of an ac-
tor on the stage. We see it and
Judge of it as it is presented, with
out thinking or caring by what
means he has arrived at his superb
ority. Research, reflection, study are
not taken into account; it is the eff
feet of his work, not the work, that
we consider. Quite likely we ex-
plain his impressiveness, his infu-
ence upon us, his naturalness, as we
choose to style it, by pronouncing
him genius, just as we explain dis
coveries in science, accomplishments
in art, triumphs in literature. They
are what they are because they have
sprung from genius--the measure
less work, which has aided, shaped,
ripened, expressed the genius is not
remembered, nor is it generally sus-
pected.-Junius Henri Browne.
The Montgomery tribune., 1910-04-22
RAVE PROTECTION FROM FIRE
Nature Has. Provided the Pine with
Remarkable Safeguard Against
the Flames.

Pines protect themselves against
forest fires in remarkable manner,
says Harper's Weekly. For four or
five years the stems OF the infant
trees attain height of only as many
inches above the soil. During this
time their bark is extraordinarily
thick, and that alone gives some pro-
lection. But, in addition, the long
needles spring up above the stem,
and then bend over on all sides in a
green cascade which falls to the
ground in circle about the Seeding.
This green barrier can with difficulty
be made to burn, while the shade
that it casts prevents infammable
grass from growing near the pro-
tected stem. The officials of the for
estry service at Washington are of
the opinion that it is owing to this
peculiar system of self-protection
which the pine seedlings have de-
veloped that the growth of evergreen
oaks in Florida has been restricted
in regions where fires have ragged,
while pine forests have taken their
place.
The Montgomery tribune., 1910-04-22
DINNER IN RELAYS.

Two men who are we'll known in
New York City as the proprietors Of
an old-fashioned hotel set a new
fashion in progressive dinners the
other night. They entertained a
party of guests at a different hotel
for each course of the dinner. Be-
ginning at their own hotel, the hosts
provided the oysters, the party sit
ting down at fully laid table. AS
soon as the bivalves were disposed
of the party took two taxicabs and
went to the next hotel on the list for
soup. A waiter telephoned to the
next stopping place, SO that there
was no delay. So it went, through
all the courses to coffee and liqueurs.
The Montgomery tribune., 1910-04-22
---, -
NOT AN ANGL0-SAx0N VICE
Assassination Has Never Been Popv-
lar In Countries Peopled
by That Race.

This country is getting to have q
reputation of its own for assassina-
ton, though most of it is among the
obscure. 1t is among the obscure
here because it is confined to our
alien population that oozes through
the Ellis island gates from the far
east. the near east and the Latin
countries. Men of Anglo-Saxon
races and stock have killed one an
other in duels with great Joy. They
will still stand up face to face and
hammer one another's noses, eyes
and jaws into pulp. They will try
to break one another in two on a
football field They are bloodthirsty
in battle without having the least
personal feeling about it. But they
never have had the snakes trick Of
stinging from the grass, or of slip
ping two inches of steel into mans
heart from behind and through his
back on a dark night, or of reaching
only an arm forth from around a
corner and blowing an unsuspecting
victims brains out of his skull; or
of mailing poison to somebody in a
box of candy or a bomb in a tobacco
jar. Those are limb of Satan tricks
the Anglo-Saxon has not played, in
civilization or barbarism.-New
York Press.
The Montgomery tribune., 1910-04-22
TOO MUCH IMAGINATION.

A deal of misery results from the
vagaries of imagination, declares
woman writer. We ought to be prac-
tical, for the sex has quite as much
Of that side of life to deal with as
do husbands and brothers. But we
are largely ruled by feelings and
that is just where we battle men in
their study Of women. For instance,
a man seldom sees why a woman
with good husband and comfort
able home should become morbid
he reasons from the standpoint of
practically, while his wife is the vic
tim of starved imagination. She
needs mental food which home and
family do not supply-he gets it in
the world which claims him six days
cut of seven, but does not realize it.
The Montgomery tribune., 1910-04-22
KNEW WIZARD OF THE NORTH
Maiden Lady, Recently Deceased In
Edinburgh, Wac Acquainted with
Sir Walter SCOTT.

Miss Mackenzie, granddaughter Of
the "Man Of Feeling" whose death
at the age of 80 has occurred in
Edinburgh, had vivid recollections
Of Sir Walter Scott, who spoke to
her of both her grandparents
Henry Mackenzie as his oldest and
dearest friend, and the last Baron
Seaforth, whom he immortalized as
"high chief of kintail," Miss Mac
kenzie delighted to recall meeting
with Campbell the poet, Jeffrey,
Erskine of Linlathen, Emerson and
Macaulay, as well as memories of
the mother of w. Z. Gladstone. who,
in letter he wrote to Miss Macken-
zie during his Midlothian campaign.
recalled the friendly relations of the
two families. Among the eighteenth
century correspondence of her grand
father in Miss Mackenzie's possess
sion were included letters from Will
liam Cowper and Samuel johnson.
Westminster Gazette.
The Montgomery tribune., 1910-04-22
QUEER MISTAKES IN SIGNS
Both In Spelling and Misuse Of Words
the Errors Border on tho
ludicrous.

Ignorance of foreign languages is
the cause of a curious misuse of
words, as may be noted in many in
stances. Grocery stores again and
again display signs which contain
these mistakes. In one store recent
ly at the delicatessen counter was
displayed a sign which read "From-
age de Brie cheese" The maker of
the sign did not know that "from-
age" means "cheese," and his sign
should have read simply "Fromage
de Brie" or "Brie cheese" In this
same line was the sign in another
store, which invited customers to
purchase "Petit pois peas" "Pois"
is the French for 'peas," but the
clerk in his ignorance had copied the
label and added the name from what
he knew the can contained. Mis-
takes can be found on signs which
use English as badly as the foreign
tongues, but these mistakes are often
only of spelling like that tailor's
sign which for years has assured GUS
toners that dresses, trousers and
coats will be "soured," instead of
"scoured," at regular prices.
The Montgomery tribune., 1910-04-22
GOLDEN AGE OF eLUrToNY.

Attention should be called to the
very abnormal fact that there never
before existed in all natural history,
outside of fattening pen and the
Strassburger goose the opportunity
for such luxurious consumption of
food with so little movement as ex-
lists for many here to-day. 'Tis high
aoon of greedy, gluttonous golden
age! Until 80 years ago, before up
to-date Office work, few Anglo-Saxon
men were ever in the house except to
eat or sleep and most were on their
feet nearly all the time when awake.
This great sudden change bodies not
wAl.
The Montgomery tribune., 1910-04-22
FOR BIRD LOVER.

The member of an Audubon soci-
ETY. who finds it hard to live up to
her beliefs in this season of multitu-
dinous aigrettes will welcome clev-
er imitation that is shown this year
for the first time.
The ornament is made Of fine,
flexible horsehair so skillfully ar
ranged that it is almost impossible
for the uninitiated to detect that it
is not pulled from the living bird.
Besides its more humanitarian ad-
vantages this new aigrette has the
added virtue of not breaking in the
strongest wind.
The Montgomery tribune., 1910-04-22
A sERvlAN UsuRER's WIFE.

Sara Chumitch, wife of notori-
GUS usurer of Kragujevata, poisoned
him as he was on the point of ruin
ing several families who owed him
large sums of money. The jury at
the trial recommended her to mercy,
and letter of gratitude signed by
hundreds of citizens was read. 1t
was delivered to her on the day after
the committal of the crime. Sara
was acquitted and received an ova-
ton as she left the court.
The Montgomery tribune., 1910-04-22
PULPIT OF JONATHAN EDWARD.

Jonathan Edwards pulpit is to be
found in the First Congregational
church at Stockbridge, Mass. Ed
wards was installed in the 'Iittle
Church in the Wilderness" in 1881
as successor of John Sergeant, first
missionary to the Indians. This
pulpit was built by David Dudley
Field in 1924 from what remained
of the old Edwards pulpit and was
refurnished in 1887. Two hymn
boards have been placed at right and
left of the pulpit and these were
made from the frame work Of the
old Edwards home - Westchester
Magazine.
The Montgomery tribune., 1910-04-22
DISORDERS OF THE NERVES
Many Sufferers from What Might
Well Be Called the Disease
Of Fear.

A gentleman of my acquaintance
is possessed with an abnormal dread
of water. 1t is positive torture to
him to wash himself, and he goes to
his bath in much the same state of
mind as the doomed criminal on his
way to the electric chair. Another is
engaged to be married, but the en-
gagement threatens to be eternal,
for the mere thought of the matri-
monial altar throws the unhappy
man into a delirium of doubt, deliv-
erance from which is obtained only
by postponement of what ought to
be the happiest day in his life. A
third sufferer spends her days in
washing her hands, but, as in Lady
Macbeth's case, the damned spot will
not out. To her disordered sense of
reality, microbes are there and twill
not go.
Another type of nerve suffering is
represented by the hysteric. Though
the disorder is supposed to be pc
culia to women, we now know that
there are male Mysteries as well as
female. The hysteric is born with
an abnormally suggestible mind
Rev. Samuel McComb, in Every
body's.
The Montgomery tribune., 1910-04-22
SAYS DOGS HAVE "FAsHIoNs."


"People who doubt the fact that
there is such thing as fashion in
dogs" said dealer, ''would be con-
vinced if they owned some expensive
Spitz dogs at the present time. Once
upon time they were popular and
brought good prices, but at present
they cannot be given away" This
breed was spoken Of because Of the
report from Europe that the Spitz
was coming back. At the recent
bench show in Berlin many dogs of
this breed were shown and sold at
high prices and his specialists" pre-
dicted ga long Spitz season."
The Montgomery tribune., 1910-04-22
Great Post Card Offer.

The Kansas City Weekly
Journal is making great post
card offer. Anyone sending in
the small sum of IS cents to the
Kansas City Weekly Journal,
Kansas City, Missouri, will re-
ceive that great Weekly mailed
to their address for one full year,
and will alsa receive their choice
of "a handsome Post Cards.
They can take their choice of
any one set of cards as follows:
"a beautiful birthday cards,
high class and finished in gold;
all different.
"a beautiful gold finished
floral cards; all different
"a beautiful language of the
flower cards, giving verses and
sentiment of the flowers; all
different.
"a comic post cards; highly
covered; all different.
Remember that all you have to
to do is send rs cents AMI
Specify which set of cards you
desire, and you will receive the
Weekly Journal One Year and
"a Post Cards mailed to your
address, All for the small sum Of
rs cents. Just the price Of the
weekly, you get the cards free{
If you desire to accept this
offer, send in at once, as the
proposition will not be good but
for short time, Address the
Kansas City Weekly JournalA
Premium Department "a" Kan-|
sas Cl1ys Mo- ILL.,.
The Montgomery tribune., 1910-04-22
POE AND HOLMES IN COURT.

With Edgar Allan Poe arguing a
case before Oliver Wendell Holmes
the clock in the United States su-
preme courtroom seemed to have
turned back several decades to-day.
But it was 80. Oliver Wendell
Holmes was on the bench; Edgar
Allan Poe was at the bar. Counsel
lor Poe is member Of the famous
Poe family Of Baltimore. Mr.. JUS
tioe HolmeS pedigree also 10 well
known.-W ashington Star.
The Montgomery tribune., 1910-04-22
CROWN BROUGHT HIM SORROW
chiidlsh Occupant Of Persls's Peacock
Throne 10 a Most Unhappy
Younqster.

In a great yellow palacein Teheran
a small boy sits on peacock throne.
He is very unhappy little boy, and
when they put him on the throne he
cried as though his heart would
break. His people call him King of
Kings, for short, for he has so many
names and titles that it would take
strong man from breakfast until
tiffin to repeat them. And the
throne on which he sits is shaky
yes, rckety, in fact.
But one of these days he will not
have any throne at all. and will have
to content himself with a cane-bot-
toned chair, or more probably a
divan. for certain very much older
persons in London and st. Peters,
burg and Berlin are calmly planning
to cut his country into portions,
very much as pastry-cook cuts pie.
The little boys country, you see,
happens to block up a road which
one of his grown-up neighbors
wishes to have open, and so it will
disappear Just as other children's
mud forts disappear when the street.
sweeper comes along. I feel sorry
for that little boy.-E. Alexander
Powell, in Everybodv's.