davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1910-09-29
FAULTFINDING AS A SAUCE
Restaurant Patron Explains How Csil
ing Down the Waiter Makes the
Fare Enjoyable.

There are two sides TO the restau'
rant fare complaint as evidenced by
this incident, that happened when two
brothers. bachelors. met here the 9th
er day and celebrated their reunion
with dinner. runs a story in the Kan
sas City Times.
IL wish we could have this meeting
back home. where we could eat things
that mother cooked" said John.
"Yes, II would be nice" said Jim.
"But would not want TO try 1t
long"
why, Jim. what do you mean?" said
John. Mother was the best cook
In the township Her blackberry jam
took first prize at the country fair"
81 know all about that" said Jim. II
remember when the other kids at
school used to steal our cinnamon
rolls. The preacher used TO visit us
every week just to have a chance at
her fried mush That's just the trou-
ole: it's too good II was all right
when we were kids. but just now what
would we do for appetizers??
IL never feel as though | have had
enough until give the waiter a call
ing down. You're Just the same. Do
you think you could enjoy a meal now
without knocking on the way the
things were cooked? | visited down
home last summer. thought | would
stay six weeks just to get a chance TO
eat mothers things again. You know
yourself that ! faxed up telegram
calling me away after four days.
was getting indigestion. At the first
breakfast we had waffles and maple
sirup. The finest you ever saw. But
/ nearly choked over them just be
cause could not say anything about
their tasting like iannel. Every other
meal was like the first. When the
cherry pies came at dinner time
ionged TO say something about their
being punk. could not say wort
about the butter outranking Gen. Leon
ard Wood. could not accuse th'
spring chicken of being a bantam roost
er fifteen years old.
"You may think you are having |
hard time. but Just go back home an
try IL for awhile. Yod will soon sig'
for the good old waiter back in tn
city whom you can sccld and the
heal his wounded dignity with qual
ter"
Jim's speech was interrupted by tn
appearance Of the waiter bringing tn
dinner. John thrust his fork in tn
steak. II felt tender under fork, b,
Just the same he looked savagely
the waiter and snarled: II ordere
porterhouse steak. not sole leather"
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1910-09-29
Already Planned.

There we're few persons who knew
the Locke family even In casual
way who had not discovered that Mrs.
Locke was In the habit of nagging her
husband and children. She loved
them. dearly, but at times nobody
would have surmised II.
What did Mr.. Locke say when he
found himself safe afttr those hours
OF danger?" some one asked friend
who had been In company with Mr..
Locke on an ocean steamer which met
with an accident In mid-Atlantic. "He
never says the ordinary thing"
No." said the friend. with a dry
smile, he didn't that time. l said
to him. James. we ought to make
something more OF our lives from
having them spared to US In this way,
for felt pretty solemn. can tell you
I've no doubt James did. too, but wha
he said was. william, a good share o
the rest OF my life will be spent II
explaining TO Theodore how ! hap
pened 10 choose that steamer whel
there we're dozens OF others tina
reached home without any accident
Youths Companion.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1910-09-29
POULTRY NOTES.

The quicker the drones In the flock
are made into pot pies the better.
Some farmers think II Is necessary
to keep ten or twelve roosters to 40
hens. Three are plenty.
Oats ground aud fed with cracked
corn make good ration. but oats
should never be fed whole.
Ducks may be picked two or three
times during the first season without
interfSring with their growth.
Do not allow the hens to roost on
the nests at night, but make sure that
they roost on the proper place.
Fine gravel is not the proper grit for
poultry. They want sharp material
with which to grind their feed.
II the cocks you used this season
are not to be used again, get rid Of
them and save needless expense.
For colony houses you should have
few portable coops, similar to the
portable hog houses used on farms.
Success In poultry culture Is simply
the result of looking after oil tho lit
tie details connected with the busi
ness.
With over seventy distinct breeds Of
fowls to select from It always seemed
curious to me why some people in
sisted upon keeping scrub hens.
We may choose a breed whose eggs
are either white. buff. brown, large ol
small, and can be certain that the off
spring will resemble their ancestors
An effective lice killer for poultr,
can be made by dlssolving in kerosen,
oil all OF the moth balls II will dis
solve. Add a little carbolic acid. Ap
ply with brush.
This Is the day Of the growing
chick, and It should be kept true 4
name. growing. growing In size, grow
ing In exercise, growing In vigor
growing all over.
Don't put your fine young stock on
in colony house in tho blazing SUI
OF an open meadow or field. and the
neglect to water them. Chicks canno
thrive without water.
Incubator chicks should be fed wit
more caution than those hatched wit
hens. Their artificial condition make
them more delicate and more suscept
BILE to changes Of food and temperi
ture.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1910-09-29
Plowman plods His Weary Way.

To turn single acre OF ground
with a l2inch plow requires SA
miles OF heavy furrow travel. a writer
IN the Worlds Work says. In plow-
ing one square mile OF land the soli-
tary plowman and his horses must
walk $3.50 miles. II would be easier
(and the distance is less) to walk
around the earth at the equator (lf
there were no OCEAN, than TO follow a
plow turning a prairie OF five square
miles. To equal our national tale OF
plowing-the work OF myriads OF
teams. each using force sufficient to
move seven tons over a good stone
road~-.it would take an army OF 1850
plowmen TO travel as far as from the
earth to the moon and back again.
For the worlds yearly labor OF this
kind II would send about $4,000 men
on that same 5oo.ooo-mile journey.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1910-09-29
Siun Of Recovery.

"If when the devil is sick a monk
he will be-" said Rose stahl sagely.
''then the devil gets well In double
quick time. Witness that young 'divil
with the ladies' my kid cousin. Last
winter he was Ill. so Ill he didn't have
any sense Of humor left nor any sense
either. l was staying at the same ho-
tel, and when I went In to look after
him he virtuously remarked that his
room was no place for a Chorus Lady
and promptly shooed me out. "a few
years ago I spanked that kid) Then
he got scared and sent for q doctor
and the doctor sent for q trained
nurse. For several days I got bulle-
tins of his progress from the cham
bermaid. The fourth morning she set
my mind completely at rest
"'Sure. ma'am.' said Maggie, an
think he do be gettin' along very we'll
The nurse was sittin' on his lap this
mornin'!'"
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1910-09-29
No Cause for Alarm.

Il have decided" said the theatrical
manager. ito give you trial. Miss
Arlington. Please be ready to begin
rehearsing Monday afternoon"
Thank you SO much. But before we
20 any further must inform you that
| shall positively refuse to wear tights
or a gown that is cut low In the neck"
"oh. that's all right. In the part
that I'm going TO give you. you will
merely have TO stand behind shed
and help TO scream when the cyclone
strikes town"
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1910-09-29

Her Little Brother-Say, are you
goin' ter marry my sister Bess?
Her Suitor--Why. er-er-er don't
know.
Her Little Brother-WeIl. you are. I
heard her tell pop she was goin' ter
land you tonight.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1910-09-29
Weeder Is Useful Tool.

The weeder is very useful tool in
the cultivation of potatoes when prop
erly used. 1t should be run cross
wise of the rows after each cultivation
as long as the size of the plants will
permit. II helps to pulverize the surf
ace. and destroys many OF the weeds
in the rows.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1910-09-29
shrubhery for Ornament.

In all plants for decorating the home
grounds shrubbery plays most i'm
portant part. as it can be used merely
for its ornamental effect or as a
screen to hide things not pleasant to
look upon.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1910-09-29
News From Paris.

Here's q souvenir postal card from
Feliee, who is abroad. It's dated
Paris"
whats going on in Parish
"She says she has Just met a per
fectly charming chap from Little
Rock, Ark"
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1910-09-29
sun the 400.

Ward-They say there are about
275, 900 automobiles owned by individ'
uals In the United States. or one for
every 400 population
McAllister-Well. are you In the 400
yet?-Yonkers Statesmen.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1910-09-29
In the Suburb,

"What beautiful public building u
that2"
THAT isn't public building. IT'S
old man Savitt's summer cottage"
"And whose neat little cottage u
that over there with the tower on TT
That little one-story frame affair"
"That isn't cottage. It's the First
Episcopal church."-Life.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1910-09-29
Success With Chicks.

Success with little chicks win de-
pend very largely upon the attention
given them when they are first
hatched. They must be kept dry.
warm. and have plenty of nutritious
food
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1910-09-29
In Convention,

Now do you understand the Issues
thoroughlyr'
"Oh. yes" declared the lady dele
gate. Every time that woman In the
green shirtwaist stands up vote ave-
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1910-09-29
bid for Popularity.

watson-If the hay trust win do
one more thing all will be forgiven.
Gilder-What Is that!
wetson--Put hay fover beyond the
reach OF mankind.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1910-09-29
Ellllna Up.

What do you do when you have no
newsg II must be hard to I'LL up"
when We have no news" explained
the New York journalist I'VE use larg'
or type"
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1910-09-29
Her Rest.

Her Rest.
"How do you expect to spend your
summer vacation. Mrs. Brownf"
Frying fish for the men as usual.
I suppose"
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1910-09-29

A scrub sheep. Just like any other
scrub animal on the farm is a poor
investment
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1910-09-29
[hfOD0pElOQSEyFII
English
Singing Birds

from an
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-09-09
OHIO VALLEY EXPOSITION
CINCINNATI, OHIO.
AUGUST % TO
SEPTEMBER "a, 1910
VERY LOW
Round Trip Fares
Southern Railway
SCHEDULES, EN
CELLENT SERVICE, PULLMAN
SLEEPING CARS. DINING
CAR SERVICE.

VAN oEsINti iSIS.
CHARACTER OF EXPOSITION.
1.-The Ohio Valley Exposition will be
an Industrial Exposition, NOT A
TRADE SHOW.
2-It will be NINETEEN STATE
FAIRS rolled into ONE.
st will typify the best that FORTY
ONE MILLIONS of people produce
and use.
4-The WAR, the NAVY, the TREAS
URY. the AGRICULTURAL, the
POST OFFICE, the INTERIOR.
and other Departments Of Govern
ment will SHOW you their
GREATEST ACHIEVEMENTS
here.
5-You can SEE and HEAR and
FEEL of those BIG WORLD
THINGS here which the stay-at-
homes can only READ and Dream
about.
ct will EDUCATE YOUR CHILL
DREN and their PARENTS
1T will SEND YOU BACK to the
old home, the plow, the office, the
school and the factory WITH A
LARGER VIEW OF LIFE.
Detailed Additional Information
Upon Application to Agents.
W. T.. MCGEE,
Div. Pass. Agt., Charleston, S. G.
j. Il. MEEK,
Asst. Gen. Pass. Agt., Atlanta, Ga.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-09-09
Whoopinq Couqh Party.

With all the dignity attendant up
on seven years of age and Il case of
whuuping cough, little Elsie May Hill
ton of l116 South Los Angeles street.
was the hostess at Il who0ping cough
birthday party given ut her home
recently. says the Los Angeles En-
amincr.
The event was unique in that 1t was
probably the only one of its kind in
the history of the world. for all the
guests ut This party had the whonping
cough. and they all had Il perfectly
grand time.
Little Elsie. the daughter of Chas.
Hilton. had been troubled with the
coughing malady for weeks. and the
family paid little or no attention To
her until the youngsters seventh
birthday approached and they decided
to give her Il party. When the guest
list was arranged ii became necessary
to limit the invitations to tho friends
of ElSic'S who were suffering from
the same malady. Accordingly the
whu0ping cough invitations were sent
out and the affair became the talk Of
tho ncighborhood. Every youngster
who WAS not suffering from whoop-
ing cough Immediately attempted to
contract u case.
Whunpimg cough patients were
much sought companions. whereas
before they had been stunned by
other children for fear Of contracting
the malady. Every able-bodied child
in the n"ighborhuOd tried To con-
tract whuoping cough in time to be
eligible to attend the party.
When the great day came tho out
sidcrS watched the party with visit
full eyes from Il distance. There Wcr"
many games played on the lawn in
front of the house and fine stories
were told and the most popular song
of the occasion was that famous New
York success. "Whooper-'er Up With
a WhOOp. La La"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-09-09
TRACING coUNTERFElTS.
Exciting Employment For Skilled Sc
cret Service Men,

The tracing of counterfeit bills back
to the persons responsible for their is
sue is curious and exciting employ
ment. The experts assigned by the
government to this work are among
the most skillful members of the Sc
cret service. The protection of the
currency depends i'm large measure up
on their efficiency, and the pains they
take are almost infinite. The follow
irg case is one illustrating the diff
.'u!ties which the secret service people
meet and overcome.
4 bank clerk in Cleveland had de-
tected a counterfeit twenty dollar bill
In the deposit of a small retail grocer
An expert was sent for and under
took the case.
He found that the grocer had re-
ccived the bill from a shoe dealer, who
had il from Il dentist, who had it from
somebody else. and so on, until the
secret service man finally traced the
bad note to an invalid woman who
had used ii To pay her physician
When questioned this woman said that
the money had been sent her by her
brother, who lived in New Orleans.
The sleuth looked up the brothers
antccedents and soon became con-
vinced that he was the man wanted.
The brother. however. soon proved to
the satisfaction of the secret service
man that his suspicious were unfOund-
ed. Indeed. it appeared that the mon
ey had been received by the New Or
leans man in part payment for rent
of house owned in PittSburg
While the Sleuth was a bit diScOur-
aged he couldn't give over the case
when he had gone so far. so he took
the next train for PittSburg.
The tenant of the house in Pitts
burg proved to be a travelling OculiSt
who spent most of his time in the mid
die west. The secret service man had
the good luck, however to catch him
just as he had returned from trip.
and the man at once recognized the
bad bill as one that had been given
him by patient i'm Cleveland, the
very point whence the Sleuth started.
The patient was n boss carpenter
The secret service man got his address
from the oculiSt and went right after
the new Clew. At this point he had n
prcmonition that something was going
to happen. and he wasn't disappointed.
The Carpcntrr. an honest old fellow.
said that he had received the bill from
Il certain Parker. The said Parker
was the small grocer i'm whose bank
deposit the counterfeit had turned up.
The expert flew to the grOccr'S as
quickly as q cab could take him and
found it closed. He had left town.
Afterward ii was shown beyond
question that the grocer was the agent
of an organized band of counterfeiters.
His shop was a mere blind. That the
bill which he gave the carpenter
should get back into his own funds
after travelling all over the continent
was one of those miracles of chance
for which there is no cXplanatinn.-
Chicago Record Herald.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-09-09
Humorous department.
His Petitioners.

The people considered the Circum-
stance of their arrival and let it go.
because neither Billy nor Katie could
read, not To mention SO intricate an
accomplishment as writing.
Billy became quite a character in the
town. and because some Of the young
fellows liked to banter him and see
him rage he imagined himself possess
ed of a widespread popularity, and de-
cided that he would run for mayor of
Marietta.
He told the board of elections of his
ambition and they informed him that
if he would bring 400 names on a petit
tion they would put him on the ballot.
OF course Billy could not read and
when the first wag he called upon
signed George Washington" to the
petition instead of his real name Billy
never knew the difference. The next
weeks Billy had the names Of 400 of
the worlds greatest characters in his
tory appended to his petition.
With a flourish of triumph, the more
impressive because Billy had purchas-
ed a new ready made" tie TO grace
the occasion, he called at the office of
the clerk Of the board of elections and
left his petition. 1t was read at the
next meeting. i'm the presence of Billy,
who staggered about among the spec
tators with a great deal of pride, until
one of the members called him aside
and said:
Billy. didn't you know that nearly
every man who signed Your petition
is dead?"
Billy hadn't heard it and he wanted
to he shown.
They took him painfully through the
histories. julius Caesar. the third
name, had been dead nearly 1000
years. George Washington was the
father of mis- country. and so on.
1t was too much. Billy was speech
less until in the midst of his perpleN-
ity a dawning light spread over his
countenance.
DO you suppose them fellers was
kiddin' me-" he queried.-Cincinnati
Commercial Tribune.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-09-09

ter the president returns to Washing
ton from Beverly, Mass. on Septem-
Der 21..Artcr an illness of several
weeks. Mrs Ncttic Garris. wife of Mr.
John Garris. died at her hum" i'm the
Millfort mill village Thursday night
and the intcrmcnt was in the town
cemetery Friday afternoon. Mrs. Gar
riS was 25 years of age and was a
member of the Methodist church. She
was a daughter of Mr.. II. w. Black
wrldcr and was reared in this colnmu-
uitv. one form of lawlcSSncsS too
prevalent in Fort Mill to please those
who appreciate order and due rcSncct
for tn" safety of the community is the
practice of discharging firearms in
town after nightfall. Tuesday evening
shotgun was fired within stones
throw of the Presbyterian church while
services were in progress, much To the
annoyance of the worshippers, many
of whom were frightened 10y the uncX-
pcCtcd and ineXcusahle report.
Large and interesting congregations
are attending the special services
which are in progress at the Fort Mill
PRESBYTERIAN church, and the Rev. Mr..
Gillespie Of YorkVillc, who is assisting
in the meeting. has won a place i'm the
hearts of all who have heard him by
his eloqucnce and fnrcefulnesS. The
meeting will he concluded with the SER
mon Sunday evening. after COmmu-
nion services in tn" forenoon. Dur
ing the last ten days there has been
considerable interest manifested in the
proposition to organize cotton GIN
ming company i'm Fort Mill, and praCti-
cally the entire amount of capital nee
cssary To begin operations has been
Il iS al, pln m
the way Of the organization of the
company. however, and that is given
bv one of the promoters as the excess
Sivc rate which the Southern Power
company asks for power to operate the
outfit, 40 cents per bale. This rate is
considered prohihitive by the promo
tcrS of the company and there is talk
If installing steam power plant
with which to run the gins. Nothing
definite is yet determined upon as to
the organization of the company. but
the undertaking has not been ahan-
dunCd and it may be that il Will he
perfected within the week. 1t is stated
that not more than fifteen days will lie
required To put up the buildings and
have the ginncry in operation. The
1901 session of the Fort Mill graded
school opened Monday morning with
an tllIbIllltlll pl lNJ lullllS' Nv 'N
prciscs of the day We're begun with
prayer by the Rev. Mr.. Gillespie OF
Ynrkvillc. after which an address was
delivered to the pupils by the Rev. Mr..
Hair of the Fort Mill Baptist church.
All of the teachers reported for duty
and the principal part of the days
exercises were devoted to assigning
the pupils To the various grades. .....
The hardest rain Of the year i'll Fort
Mill fell Thursday afternoon. The
rain began at SIS and lasted until $50
and came down in such volumes as to
flood the streets and the yards of
many homes. In the country consider
able damage was done corn and cot
ton i'm low places and a number OF
small bridges were washed away or
removed from their foundations. The
second heavy rain Of the week fell
Friday afternoon, hut it did less dam
age than the rain of the preceding day.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-09-09
Judqe Knew Her Worth.-The

Judqe Knew Her Worth.-The ma
tive with a stogie met the native with
a pipe.
"Howdy. Zeb?" quoth the stogie ma
tive. Hear bout tn fuss down to tn
court house,"
Nope" drawled the man with the
pipe. What was it about?"
why, Jim Simpson has been suing
Abner Hayler for allienatin' tn af-
fections of his wife, an Judge Mus
grave told tn jury to bring in a ver-
dict for cents damages. 'caus he
thought that was all the damage was
worth to Jim. An Jim's wife got mad
an threw a chair at the jedge, an he
had her arrested an put in tn cooler. :.
But didn't jedge go a leetle too far
when he fixed her value so low?"
Not at all, not at all. Y'see, he was
her first husband. d.'-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-09-09

Boy Wanted.-A certain business
man of Rochester is Of opinion that hc
has an exceedingly bright office boy
and nothing pleases him better than
to tell how he acquired the youngsters
services.
A notice was posted on the mans
shop window which read as follows
boy wanted about II years"
A lad of that age, with little that
was prepossessing in his appearance
came into the office and stated that
he had read the notice.
so YOU think YOU would like to have
the position?" asked the merchant, pa
tronizingly. as he gazed at the lad over
the rim of his scpctaCles.
Yes. sir" was the reply; II want
the job. hut l don't know that | can
promise to keep it for the full fourteen
years"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-09-09
somethinq Like catch.-A gentle

Something Like a Catch.-A gentle
man was strnllmS across large estate
when he came upon a man fishing
What sort of fish do YOU catch here
he said.
Mostly trout" replied the man.
How many have YOU caught"
About ten or twelve, sir
What is about TN" heaviest y"r
have caught" continued the gentle
man.
"Wcn. I don't know the weight, hut
the water sunk two or thre" feet wh"l
| pulled it out."--Chicagn Journal.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-09-09
Retween the Courses.

Between the Courses.-The stranger
in the hotel pumped down his bag.
Il wanter room," he said.
No. 81" raped the clerk. Second
floor"
rs it a good onc?" quericd the
stranger.
Excellent. The boy will show YOU
the way" replied the clerk.
The stranger took up his hag.
"Right-ho," he said. oh, | say
what's the eatin' hours i'm this h"t"l?'
breakfast" answered the clerk. -
to II: lunch. II to 3; dinner, t" s;
supper. to 12.'
The stranger dropped his bag again
Great Jerusalcm!" he exclaimed
when am | gom' t" git tim" t" see
the town" n""-AnSwerS