Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-05-13
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about two dollars.-Yale Record.
But what reason have you for
thinking women have no aim in life?'
| Well, I've seen several OF them try
20 throw stones"
Did Simpkins get any damages in
| that assault case?" Did he? My
dear fellow, you ought to see his face"
! st. Louis Star.
| I'd like to get tablet" said the
customer, addressing the drug clerk.
Dyspepsia or writing?" inquired the
| clerk.-Ames Times
links / saw something cheap at
bargain counter to-day Binks-What
was 1t? Jinks-A man waiting for
his wife Record-Hera
How did you get the reputation of
being taclturn?" Possibly because I
only discuss matters that | am famil-
ar with. "-Pittsburg Post
Scc.cher-Have you heard the latest
| auto record? Fielgher-No; what Is
1t? Scorcher--An auto made an hour
in tifty-nine minutes Puck
MIR. Cityman What do you find the
hardest thing to raise on a farm? Far
mer Clovertop-The interest on the
mortgage. Philadelphia Record
'Arry-Wot's yer urry. Bill? Bill
I've got to go to work AIRY
Work? Why. wots the matter with
the missis? Amt she we'll? illustrate
ed Bits
Habby What You paid $50 for
that imported hat? It's moustrous--
it's sin! Wife tsweetly) No mat
ter; the sin will be on my head
Lippincott's,
4 don't understand you. Linda. One
day you're bright and jolly and the
next depressed and sad We'll, I'm
in half-mourning. that's why. - File.
gende Batter
Iiow much does it cost to get mar.
ried?' asked the eager youth THAT
depends entirely on how long you
live" replied the sad-lo0king man
Philadelphia Record
He seems to be an up.to-date poll
tician." Il should say SO Before pro
posing to Miss Specie he got up a petit
ton with 1000 signatures urging her
to accept him. Life.
She Wouldn't it be grand If We
could only see ourselves as others see
US? He-Well. hardly; but it would
be grand II we could make others see
us as we see ourselves
Il can't make anything out of this
poem OF yours" complained the maya
zine editor. THAT isn't the point" re-
Piled the poet The question is. can
make anything out Of it2''
IN be ready in a minute" she said
now" he called up some time later.
Il find that shall have to shave
again. II Detroit Free Press
Wife, trying to convey a hint--A
tree. you know, gets new clothes every
spring Husband, too experienced 10
be caught--Yes, dear; 1t makes them
all itself, and finds its own material,
too.
As the train neared the city, the
Colored porter approached the joyial-
faced gentleman, saying. with smile,
shall An brush you of, sah?" No"
he replied. Il prefer to get off In the
usual manner"
rs our new member homely? Well.
i should say! Did you ever see
photograph of him." why no, but
I've seen ca features OF him" ooh.
they fatter HIM; you should see one of
his photographs"
Wife, say. do you know the girl
In the fiat above us won piano at the
Charity Bazaar lottery yesterday?
Husband-A piano! Great Scott! And
that's what they call a charity bazaar!
-Meggendorfer Blatter.
Old Lady want you to take back
that parrot you sold me. ] find that 1T
swears very badly Bird Dealer
Well, madam, it's very young bird.
TN learn to swear better when it's
a bit older--Human Life.
She had a good husband" said Mrs.
nabbleton But she got d divorce
from him" Yes. She didn't know
what a good husband he was tin she
saw how generously he behaved about
the aIimony Chicago journal.
The Preacher-Next Tuesday even
ing Elder links viii address the Mems
Club on Hell" The Elder-You
might add, parson. that / would be
glad to see the rest of the congrega-
ton there. too Sunday Magazine.
Optimist-I don't believe in climb
Ing over an obstruction until one
comes to it, Pessimist-And. judging
from your appearance, I should say
that you never see an obstruction until
you bump against it.--Chicago Record
Herald.
johnny" said the boys mother. Il
hope you have been nice, quiet boy
at school this morning." That's what
was" answered Johnny II went to
sleep and the teacher said she'd whip
any boy in the room who walked me