Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-02-25

Lincoln sch Dol.
On motion the Board adjourned.
CARL R. FIELD, Clerk.
For An Idle Moment
Mrs. McManus, you're lady and your
husbands a gintleman; but thOt son
MOike av yours, be hiyens, he comes from
family av robbers, so he does"
Glow do YOU like that whisk,, Pat?"
"shure, your honor, it has made an
other man of me, an that other man
would like glass, too"
"YOu Hamericans say we ave no hu-
NOR" said the loyal Britisher, "but I'll
ave you understand, sir, that Hinglish
jokes are not TO be laughed at p
"What were you running for when |
saw you today, Sam?"
Il heard Of some work, sah."
And did you get the job, Sam?'
81 sure did, boss"
''What kind of work did you procure,
Sam?"
"SOme washing for m WIFE"
Among the applicants for service as a
general hOusemaid in Pittsburg family
was raw-boned Irish girl of rather for
bidding aspect.
"Do you love chiIdren?' asked the mis-
tress of the house, when satisfied that
the girl would suit with respect to most
requirements.
"Well, num-" responded the CeIt, with
grim smile, "that all depends on the
wages"
Bridget, who had administered the
culinary affairs of the Morse household
for many years, was sometimes torn be-
tween her devotion to her mistress and
loyalty to the small son of The house.
Bridget" said Mrs. Morse in a tone of
wonder after an inspection of the store
room, ''where have those splendid red
apples gone that the man brought yes
terday-those four big ones?"
well, now, ma'am," said poor Bridget.
81 couldn't rightly say, but Pm thinking
if you were to find out where my loaf O.
hot gingerbread is, likely them four red
apples would be lyin' right on top of it,
an I'm only hopin' his little inside can
stand the strain"
The love of the YOrkshireman for his
dog is prOverbial, says The Tattler, An
old Yorkshire collier, well known for his
success in the cOursing field, recently
surprised all his mates by marrying
very unprepossessing woman.
He had always been reckoned con-
firmed hater Of the other sex.
"Mhy has ia gone and got spliced, lad
at thy age?" one of his friends asked
him.
''Oh, that's not much of a tale," an
swered the old man, stolidIy. "a agrees
vi We at Betsy yonder is no beauty; if
she had been l stedldn't have wed her,
but that ere dog o. mine, he was simply
pinin' for somebody to look after him
while | was away at t. pit. | couldn't
bear to leave him in the house by hissen,
so | hit on the idea of marryin' Betsy.
She's not handsome, but she's mighty
good company for the dog
The native with the stOgie met the ma
tive with pipe.
"Howdy, Zeb?" quoth the stogie na-
tive. Hear bout tn fuss down to tn
courtroom?
Nope" drawled the man with the
pipe. what was it about?"
"Why, Jim Simpson has been suing
Abner Hawley for alleniatin' tn affec-
tions of his wife, an Jedge Musgrove
told tn jury to bring in yerdick of 6
cents damages, cause he thought that
was all the damage was worth to jim.
An Jim's wife got mad az threw chair
at the jedge, an he had her arrested an
put in the cooler
"But didn't the jedge go leetle too
far when he fixed her value so lOw?"
Not at all, not at all. Y'see, he was
her first husband p
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