The Paonia newspaper., 1910-06-24
.SOF-WNCED PEACE
ONCE MORE sRooDED ovER
cLAssER HOUSEHOLD.
Head Of the Family Arises and Do
eIares HImseIf-Moral Contained
In This Story Not Hard
to Perceive.

Mr.. Clabber had stood all the rest
with as much eQuanimity as he could
muster. But when Mrs. Clabber be-
gan to sniff and sniff and snifr Just be-
cause he was smoking his old brier
lpipe-then indeed Mr.. Clabber stood
up for his rights as a sovereign man.
Mrs. Clabber," said he, arising and
speaking with much dignity, ever
since l came home this evening from
hard days work in the marts OF
trade you have sought every reason
able and unreasonable opportunity to
laggravate. irritate and otherwise an
noy me-. You have frowned and
scowled and your conversation has
been confined to monosyllables. You
have burned the steak and you have
undercooked the potatoes. Knowing
that i like my rice pudding soft, you
have let 1t cook hard. You have mis-
laid my slippers and have lost the
evening paper. Knowing that / like
to play with the canary, you have put
him to bed
Nor. madam. is this all. You have
grumbled and you have growled. I
repeat 1t. madam; you have growled.
You left your sewing in my easy
chair. You opened a window SO that
the draft nearly blew my head on.
You are wearing that old Persian
wrapper. which you know dislike,
and you have referred to my family
four times-each time in disrespectful
terms. You have shifted when / have
gently demonstrated with you or
IN xAf L
truculently silent or you have banged
a door. Not only have you banged
doors. but you have banged plates.
knives forks. spoons, cups, saucers,
windows and overdoors. And now,
Mrs. Clabber. when / light my pipe
you begin to sniff in such a manner
that ! can stand II no longer. What,
madam-what Is the reason of all
this7 oh, You are out OF sorts. are
your
II see. Out OF sorts, Permit me to
suggest. Mrs. Clabber, the strong ad-
visibility of laying in an early supply
OF sorts Your present paucity OF
sorts is wearying and distressing to
a degree. !: threatens the happiness
the life happiness. Mrs. Clabber-
- wv HuhHah oeihks- 10 not KNOW
where sorts are to be had. but let me
suggest that you apply there. wherever
II IL. As soon as possible for n gen.
erous stock. Sorts are evidently nee
essary to your wellbeing and happi-
ness and I think II would be advisable
for you to lay In enough sorts to last
you over an emergency. You. being
out OF sorts. have used all mine and
] find out that ] am out OF sorts my
self That is why am putting on my
hat. Mrs. Clabber. That is why ! am
putting on my coat and taking my
pipe with me. I am going out to see
II can accumulate few choice sorts
and bring them back with me. Per.
haps when I return you will have
found n few available sorts and
what7 You think you have scraped
a few together now7
Well. well, This is encouraging
news. Mrs. Clabber. see. too. that
you have recovered that pleasing
smile which was ever your dearest
charm. And so. madam. I will take
on my hat You may hang II on tho
rack And here IL my coat. think
that now you can even find my slip
pers. And my tobacco jar. Bless her
heart! And now I know she 10 going
to sit on the arm Of my old armchair
and light my old brier pins. All, yesi
II IL vsry evident that We have all
sorts Of the very finest sorts back in
stock again. Mrs. c. Out Of sorts. In