The Washington herald., 1910-02-27

winter NOE Then take one.
You have James Sharpe Henry's word
for it, there's a world of good in 1t.
You win return a new man. 1t win
steady your nerves, brighten your eyes,
give you an optimistic vision, and tone
up your whole system.
Why? Well since you are inquisitive
because it will enable you to get out of
reach of the telephone, the bill collector,
the man who persists in talking about
the weather, the friend who has a sure
cure for the grip. the heartless wretch
who reminds you that you originally
pinned your faith to DR.. Cook, and the
ubiquitous creature who is not yet tired
discussing the Pinchot-B allinger feud
Eliminate all these unnecessary evils
save the telephone, and the trip is still
worth taking. You will then have only
the wireless telegraph to contend with,
and It seldom becomes tunduly active IN
less one of your beloved comrades left
behind, with a sense of humor running
riot, should suddenly be seized with an
impulse to warn the captain of the yes
sci against a couple of clever card
sharps haillng from Washington-a ro-
tund buoyant gentleman, wearing
glasses, accompanied by a tired, guiless-
looking, but designing individual with
dark hair turning gray and each wear
ing a brownish mustache. Even then
you would be reasonably secure. for the
captain knows how 70 appraise such
warning. He can detect a moth-eaten
joke flashed TO sea by wireless as read
lily as he would penetrate one told by
-
up and down the Atlantic coast all these
years and tarried between trips at New
York and Havana without learning a
few things. And, besides. he is too much
OF a real humorist to be taken in by a
practical joke
Yes, take the trip by all means. This
advice is sound. Coolly weighed in the
balance, it will be found not wanting
advice or trip, either
But for honeymoon a sea voyage TO
Cuba or anywhere else is a delusion and
"a snare. The winds are uncertain. You
can never tell what is going to happen
on Hatteras or in the Gulf stream Sea
sickness comes on suddenly and is often
prolonged
Imagine the sweet, elinging little bride
from Jersey gOisg aboard so radiantly
happy on the arm OF her proud and de-
voted young husband, with Trenton con-
CALCULATIONS yet ringing in her pink ears,
and the cruel ordeal incident to a thirty
six hours storm. with the ship pitching
and rolling about, the elements uncon-
tFollable, and the captains only assur-
ance from the bridge There is a God
in Israel that slumbers not nor sleeps"
Israel is not in the mind of this dear
little bride from Jersey Tunbled about
in the cradle of the deep, she is thinking
OF home and mother.
And imagine. If you can. after the fury
OF the storm has passed and the vessel
is nearing port, that proud young hus-
band at the final meal innocently ac-
counting for their absence three full days
in succession. My wife ate something
that disagreed with her" Bless their
loving young hearts! What more natural
than their return by rail with a stop of
in Florida when Havana's warm sun
shine has soothed their feelings. settled
their stomachs. and given them roster
view OF life.
slumber at midnight by a plaintive, sea
sick voice from the lower No. 1.-the
voice of the rotund. buoyant gentleman
from Washington, aforesaid, who advises
this trip-a plaintive, sea-sick voice.
pitched in alarming key, crying out as
the stateroom windows are being
blinded by hardy sailors to prevent
briny deluge: They're mailing us in"
And then a hurried, half-dressed recon-
hotter by the key-bearer Of the voyage
the tired, guileless-looking one-his stout
hearted assurance To terroF-stricken
ladies. Its but passing breeze" and
his subsequent report. "AH is WELL" to
silence the sea-sick voice from the lower
berth.
And the next morning. think of the
tired, understanding one-the ocean yet
ripping. raging mad az throughout the
wretched night-interrupted In his deft
but difficult safety shave by the crash
of breaking glass and sound OF splashing
waters from No. Is. A deluge! Not since
the days of Noah has there been such
an one as swept in upon the occupants
OF No. b. Alas. they had not been Sc
curely nailed in. A sight to behold, in
deed, in pajamas and negligee, drenched
10 the very skin. Pity for the suffering
little bride and heart-wrung Jersey
groom was lost for the moment in COM
miseratiOn for the equally unfortunate
honeymooners of No. Is. You are IA
mliar with the word "soused," no doubt.
It's meaning is varied. At sea it is used
literally, but that soulless voyager in the
smoking-room who applied it to this ill-
fated couple was void of feeling and
excusable only on the theory that. he
himself was becoming a proper subject
OF the term in its Washington appllca-
ton.
When you take the trip-and your life
is incomplete until you have taken it
do not in the midst OF a storm. if your
wife and child be with you. undertake
to divert them by reading from a novel
in the companion way. 1t is perilous.
Stick TO stateroom and cling TO berth.
The man VINO tried II. of whom James
Sharpe Henry wots, suddenly landed ten
feet away on his head Are you hurt?''
he was asked as he struggled to his feet
and heroically grasped the railing. No:
I'm used 10 it. I ride a horse at home
and he throws me about once a week"
he answered resignedly. Here was
philosophers battered and bruised
philosopher-even if he did not have
sense enough 70 abstain from reading
Meredith Nicholson novel in the compan-
Ion way while the storm was at it's |
height
But thirty-six hours do not last for |