Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-11-10
Mark TWain's BurIesque of Emer.
son, LongfeIIoW and Holiness.
1T SHOCKED THE IMMORTALs.
w. D. HowelIs' Description of the Dis
NAL Effect of the Humorist's At
tempt to Make Game of the Dianified
Literary Trio at the Boston Dinner.

SUI, LCuS1cllOW ana l1OlIneS:
"He believed he had been particn-
larly fortunate in his notion for the
speech of that evening. and he had
worked it out in joyous self reliance.
1t was the notion of three tramps,
three deadbeats. visiting n California
mining camp and imposing themselves
upon the innocent miners as respec-
lively Ralph Waldo Emerson, Henry
Wadsworth Longfellow and Oliver
Wendell Holmes. The humor of the
conception must prosper or must fail
according to the mood Of the nearer.
but Clemens felt sure of compelling
this to sympathy. and he looked for
ward to an unparalleled triumph.
But there We're two things that he
had not taken into account. One was
the species of religious veneration in
which these men We're held by those
nearest them. They were men of ex-
traordinary dignity, Of the thing call
ed presence for want of some clearer
word. so that NJ n could well aD-
proach them in a personally light or
IAAAiLS 'l'llAt. J wv hoL SlppOSc lila
anybody more truly valued them or
more piouSly loved them than Glenn
ems himself, but the intoxication of his
fancy carried him beyond the bounds
Of that regard and emholdcned him to
the other thing which he had not taken
into account-namely. the immense
hazard of working his fancy out be-
fore their faces and expecting them to
enter into the delight of it. If neither
Emerson nor Longfellow nor Holmes
had been there the scheme might pos
sibly have carried. but ever this is
doubtful.
81 was the hapless president. fulfill
ing the abhorred function of calling
people to their feet and making them
speak. When l came to Clemens |
introduced him with the cordial adj
miration had for him as one of my
greatest contributors and dearest
friends. Here. l said. in sum. was Il
humorist who eve left you hanging
your head for having enjoyed his joke.
and then the amazing mistake. the be-
wildering blunder. the cruel catastro.
phe was upon us. | believe that after.
the scope Of the burlesque made itself
clear there was no one there. including
the burlesquer himself. who was not
smftten with a desolating dismay.
There fell a silence. weighing many
tons to the square inch. which deep
ened from moment to moment and
was broken only by the historical and
blood curdling laughter of Il single
guest, whose name shall not be hand
ed down to infamy. Nobody knew
whether to look at the speaker or
down at his plate. I chose my plate
as the least aff1iction. and so I do not
know how Clemens looked. except
when l stole a glance at him and saw
him standing solitary amid his ap-
paled and appalling listeners. with his
joke dead on his hands. From a first
glance at the great three whom his
jest had made its theme. l was aware
of Longfellow sitting upright and re-
garding the humorist. with an air of
pensive puzzle. of Holmes busily writ
ing on his menu with a we'll feigned
effect of preoccupation. and of Emer-
son holding his elbows and listening
with a sort of Jovian oblivion of this
neither world in that lapse of memory
which saved him in those later years
from 50 much bother. Clemens must
have dragged his joke to the climax
and left it there. but I cannot say
this from any II of the fact. OF
what happened afterward at the table
where the immense, the wholly inno-
cent, the truly u~nimagined affront was
offered. | have 10 longer the least re-
membrance. 1 next remember being
in a room of the hotel where Clemens
was not to sleep, but to toss in despair
and Charles Dudley Warmers saying
in the gloom. Well. Mark, You're a
funny fellow 1t was as well as any.
thing he could have said. but Clemens
seemed unable to accept the tribute.
II stayed the night with him. and
the next morning after a haggard
breakfast we drove about. and he
made some purchases. of bric-a-brac
for his house in Hartford, with a soul
as far away from bric-a-brac as ever
the soul of man was. He went home
by an early train. and he lost no time
in writing back to the three divine
personalities which he had so involun-
tarily seemed to hout. They all wrote
back to him. making it as light for
him as they could. l have heard that
Emerson was a good deal mystiied
and in his sublime forgetfulness asked,
Who was this gentleman who appear
ed to think be had offered him some
sort of annoyance" But 1 am not
sure that this is accurate. What +
am ure Of is that Longfellow a few
days after in my study stopped before
b photograph Of Clemens and said.
'Ah, he is a wag.!' and nothing more.
Holmes told me. with deep emotion,
such as a brother humorist might well
feel, that he had not lost an instant in
replying to Clemens letter and assur-
4Nv hs,,, $I,nt Nl>o,1 l,~J xo+ l~no~ 49,