Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1910-04-08
A PIPE AND A WIFE.
RY Helen Rowland

her bundles n untylng the rlppons
ing that horrid-thing again"
DO you refer to my pipe, madam"
I inquired affectionately, holding up a
beautifully colored meerschaum and
glancing at it with the pride of a con-
noisseur.
Polly merely shifted again.
Il don't suppose she sighed, as she
sat down and commenced untying the
red string about an oblong package,
that even matrimony will cure o of
that dreadfu habit"
"Matrimony," 1 rejoined, us a habit
itself. Besides" l added, lit is matri-
mony that drives a man to a pipe"
Polly dropped the string with which
! she had been fumbling and looked at
me c~hallengingly.
The e of a good wife," 1 con-
tinued imperturbably, makes impossi-
BILE the expense of good cigars. Your
hats and slippers have crowded out my
H~aVanaS."
There was no repentance of pity in
Polly's eye.
II should think she remarked, that
you might do without smoking alto
gether."
why, yes" / rejoined affably, Il
could. For the matter of that a man
might do without loving, or marrying,
or flirting, or kissing, or any of the
most delightful things in life. Sweet
| hearts and cigars are both of them
merely luXuries; and smoking n fall
ing in love are both of them time-wast-
ing habits"
Polly bent once more over the oblong
package.
1T is ridiculous" she said haughtiiy,
Ito compare a sweetheart to a cigar"
| Not at ALL" / insisted. The likeness
is quite obvious. We have many of
both of them. We love each one as
tenderly as the one preceding. The
we appreciate 1t. And in the end 1t all
| goes up in smoke. Now a pipe is like
a wife,
Polly dropped the oblong package and
looked at me s~cornfully.
"Why?' she demanded bitterly. Be
cause 1T gets old ~and-bitter? Because
II is always to be found hanging about
the house when you happen to want
1t? Because 1T is so prosaic and useful
and-economical? Because
Because" l interrupted hurriedly, "a
| man grows to owe his pipe better every
day. My dear little girl, don't you
know that the only sign by which Won
can tell when a man is really settled
really through sowing his wild oats,
is his devotion to his pipe?"
college boys and confirmed bachelors
are devoted to pipes" asserted Polly
defantly.
But not to one pipe!" 1 declared.
They keep dozens of them hanging on
their walls like their theories OF owe
and matrimony, but they o really
believe in or love any one of them. A
college boy prefers cigarets and firta-
tions in his heart and a bachelor clings
to cigars and sweethearts. 1t requires
a happily married man to get the real
joy out of a particular pipe or a par
ticular woman"
Polly looked up and her eyes were as
soft n blue as the chiffon beneath her
hat.
And / suppose she added, that
coloring a pipe is just like making love
to a woman and watching the beauti-
flying effect upon her day by day."
Yes" / agreed, you III do it deli
cately; subtly and without haste If
the, fire of o love or of your obacco
becomes too 1t is apt to scorch
and discolor the pipe-or the woman.
Quiet. daily smoking, and quiet, daily
love-making will beautify meerschaum
n matrimony with equal certainty.
| Any man with the patience to color
, q p.Sc rcSSeSScS the acSSca rcrSc-er-
ance which wins the feminine heart"
Polly gazed at the oblong package
tied with the red string. d~oubtfully.
I'm sorry" she said regretfuliy that
/ bought you-these.'
Bought me-what?"
well, you see. dear" said Polly, "I
observed that you hadn't peer smoking
any of that old brand of cigars that
you used to low for ever so long and
| IL hurt my conscience a little-and-and
| so / took the money you gave me for
| that chiffon hat and bought you a box
of Havanas. Now / suppose we must
give them away" she added sadly.
i dropped my pipe with a crash.
Polly, you're an angel"
oh" cried Polly, you've broken 1t.
you've broken it,"
! glanced at the floor. There lay my
meerschaum a heap of shattered bowl.
Never mind. little girl" / said sootb-
! ingly. "I1l get a new bowl"
why not get a new pipe?" inquired
Polly.
swered scornfruy