davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23
Couldn't Enjoy Himself.

This boy, of all the boys splashing
around in the water down at Gordon
Park Beach, didn't appear to be hav-
ing any fun.
He looked depressed He swan out
in a half-hearted sort of way, and
then hung around and gazed listlessly
toward Rondeau
The other lads were ducking and
diving and throwing water in each
others faces and executing all of the
regular juvenile water stunts
Blu this boy just swung his legs
from the pier and gloomed miserably
Life didn't appear to hold much for
him.
What's the matter, SON." inquired
one of the bronzed attendants, in a
kindly tone You don't appear to be
enjoying yourself"
law, say. how can a Teller Joy him.
SELF replied the gloomy boy, nodding
in the direction of the beach, zen
his mothers a-sittin' on a bench rub
BERN at him" Plain
Dealer.
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23
International Peace No Dream

1t is testimonial to the vitality of
the peace idea that it should appear
with undiminished vigor after every
disappointment and every setback.
Where ten years ago a solitaary-and
strangely incongruous-voice for dis
armament spoke up in the cars pal
ace, today the limitation of ornaments
is a subject of thought and discussion
in every chancellery of Europe 1t is
in the permanency and universally of
the interest which now attaches to the
subject of international peace that we
find the clearest indication of it's
strength. 1t no longer manifests it
self in isolated congresses. dealing
specifically with peace. 1t breaks out
in sovereigns' meetings, ministerial
conferences, scientific congresses,
labor congresses, and Socialist con
crosses. If international peace is in
deed a dream, ii is being dreamt so
persistently and SO widely as to take
on for practical purposes the aspect of
reality.-New York Post.
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23
Sight of 100000 on a Joy Ride

plishing anything of the sort, eight
heavily armed guards ride to and fro
with the seven millions.
And this extra precaution is due to
the change in the system of making
money Until recently the money was
printed at the bureau of engraving
and printing, but sent to the treasury
minus the seal and the number, so that
it was not real money until handled
in the treasury.
Now one machine does all the work
including the stamping of the seal and
number. These figures-the round
seal to the right and the number to
the left of the face of paper bill
stamped in blue-are what make bills
legal tender Hence when the money
passes through the wonderful cutting
and stamping machine, which counts
bills out in lots of 100 after it il
through with them. ii is ready to
spend and anyone who got hold of il
would have the real thing.
1t seems queer to some people that
we should take such precautions to
guard the money wagon" says Direc.
tor Ralph of the bureau Of engraving
and printing. but we think it neces.
sary. A stitch in time saves nine. az
we have been told from childhood"
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23

" ASHINGTON.-A bitter war on
w the house cat has been declared
by the department of agriculture. Elk
perts in the biological bureau of that
department are making exhaustive in
vestigations of the cat as a spreader
OF disease. Already they have found
out enough to convince them that as
much danger turks in a cat as in a
rat, and rats are known to be fatal
distributors of plague.
Upon the completion of these in
vestigations efforts will be made by
the Federal authorities to have cat
license laws passed. II Is much more
desirable, they say. to have license
for cats than a license for dogs.
We know that cats carry disease,
said H. w. Henshaw. chief of the bu-
reau, in discussing the fight against
tabby, but we do not know to what
extent We are practically certain
they carry diphtheria, scarlet fever
and ringworm. and we suspect they
carry tuberculosis. All this we want
to find out. OF course the fight to
bring about a cat license will be a
hard one. Such a suggestion will be
scoffed at. But in time people will
come to realize what menace cats
are That is what we hope to do
bring the people to such a realiza-
ton
DIR. A. X. Fisher. of the bureau of
biology, is at work on a bulletin on
the house cat. He has been studying
the question for years and knows the
general habits Of cats thOrOughly
There are lots of fallacious the
cries regarding the usefulness Of
CATS. says DIR. Fisher LAS a matter
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23

no YOU remember how proud We
~ were of our Spanish warships And
now they are all in the scrap heap.
The Boston, the Concord, the Winslow
ard the Detroit have all to go, as they
are no longer fit to cope with modern
armament on the high seas. storm
of protest has gone up in Washington.
but it is not going to help matters a
single bit The United States govern
ment canont afford to hang on to the
old battleships, even if they are dear
in memory. 1t will be remembered
that the Boston, a protected cruiser,
and the Concord, gunboat, were In
Admiral Dewey's fleet at Manila. Ii
was on the deck of the Winslow dur
ing the hottest cannon fire of the war,
that Ensign Worth Bagley was killed
by an exploding shell. One of the
achievements Of the Detroit was the
capture of the Catalina to the west
ward of Havana. and she took active
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23

COMBINES 1t does us good to rem
- inisce a little bit. and this leads
us to remark that 90 years ago. the
British forces burned the capitol.
There were about 5000 in number
landed from the British vessels on
the Patuxent August 20, and on the
oath they reached the capital. There
were only about 1920 men available
for defense of Washington in the
American army, and they only had II
pieces of artillery. So when the Brit
ish made their raid on Washington. al
though they were met with splendid
resistance. the American army was
compelled to retreat, and the red
coats made triumphant entry into
Washington and began to carry out
the threat of the commanding inva-
der, who said: Il will make a COW
pasture of these Yankee capitol
grounds" Just as soon as the Brit
ish got possession of the city they
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23
The Fisherman's Test.

How do you know" this man asked
of the man hauling on the seine
whether the fishes you catch are ur
to the limit fixed by the law? Have
to put tape line on some of them 20
We'll, no." said the fisherman, I'VE
don't exsstly have to go to that trou
BILE. We have an easier way of meas
uring them than that.
Every fisherman has sawed in the
seat of the boat little notches of the
right distance apart TO indicate the
lawful length at which fish may be
taken, and when he takes out of the
net a fish that doesn't look much toe
long he lays its nose against one OF
these notches and its tail against the
other
II II touches the notches, why. into
the basket goes the fish: but IL IL
doesn't. why. then the fish goes over.
board"
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23

Rhetorical pereonaes's house 10 oslfs
Standing. and Oddly Enough
lt 10 No. q.

Bath. England. u . city Of ancient
mansions. 20 Major Andres house II
still standing In the Circus. which
consists Of three blocks. In which
every house has ut some time been
occupied by some historical person
age. Oddly enough Andres house II
No. %. II IL exactly like all the 9TH
er houses in the Circus. where every
building is the exact duplicate Of the
other. red brick. with weather-stained
white cornices. dilapidated window
boxes filled with sickly geraniums that
rarely show a blossom. and the inev-
liable ivy trained over the front An
air OF profound melancholy and musty
gentility broods over these crumbling
mansions. each one of which can tell
a tragic story of fallen greatness
They are tenanted by people in q
state of decayed gentility. mostly re-
tired army and navy officers. or their
widows. with a sprinkling of profes
sors, doctors and music teachers.
At the end of the Circus and facing
up the street is the house occupied
by Napoleon III. through part of his
exile. The interior is partly burned
out and full of rates. Louis XVIII
resided near. in house afterward the
abode of Lady Hamilton. and said to
be haunted by her ghost Nelson and
Charles X of France also lived I'm the
Circus.
Just at the gates of Lord Dudley's
park. near by. is another haunted
house. II was owned by the first
earfs brother. q fighting. drinking
swashbuckling guardsman. who when
in his cups and hard up for money to
pay his gambling debts, sold his
beautiful young wife to the earl The
house is fine old red brick structure
yelled in ivy. The guardsman's unholy
revels are said to be repeated there
nightly, and carriages are heard
rolling in and out of the weedy old
garden until the wee sma' hours"
Andres house also is reputed to be
haunted. not by the British officer. but
by yelled woman in white. who
walks the halls at midnight wringine
her hands.
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23
Uncle Sans Bug Sleuths After Cats

Of fact they do almost no good and .
great deal of harm. The difficulty in
following the question of the extent
to which they carry disease is meas
ured by the difnculty of following the
cat And yet there il no doubt in the
world that many a child who, for no
apparent reason and from no discern
ible cause, develops a case of diph-
iberia or scarlet fever owes its illness
and often its death to the cat it has
been fondling. Moreover. cats are as
susceptible to hydrophobia as dogs
The highly pampered pet cat OF
the luxurious household never fails
to get out and roam around with the
ordinary alley cat. In many instances
the alley cat which prowls all night
long with the pet cat, has spent the
day sleeping in some hut or howell in
an alley where smallpox. diphtheria
or tuberculosis is hid.
Recently there has been much at
tention paid to rats and the harm
they do, both as destroyers and as
spreaders of disease In this connec-
ton the cat has been pointed out as
a valuable aid in keeping down the
rat. That is an error
Il can state from my personal OBJ
servation that only about 5 per cent
of cats are really mousers. / have
seen cats that would tackle the big
gest rat going and kill him, but such
instances are rare. AS rule a cat
cares little for a conflict with rat
las a matter of fact cats prefer
birds to mice. They will spend twice
as much time hunting birds. II one
keeps count of cats quarry during
a year he will find that the birds killed
will far outnumber the mice. Little
harm would be done If the whole cat
tribe were exterminated. but there
would be too much opposition to that
Still we think that when some of the
facts concerning cats are well known
to the public, many mothers will be
more careful about allowing their
children TO play with cats"
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23
AzlEEM ! !! s
VERY APPROXIMATE

on the wide veranda Of the old
southern hotel sat the titled gentle.
men with their weekly papers and
cooling mint 1uleps.
"Jen." whispered the Chicago man
who had just arrived. can You tell
me the different titles OF those gentle
men7"
The old colored hostier grinned-
Yeas. boss. All kin tell 20 ebhy
one oh dem. Dat big stout gen'man
Wild de empty juiep glass am Gineral
Tom. sab. De uddeh german Wild do
broad grin am Gineral Chester. sad.
DE lean gen'man dat am talSin' about
de wah am Gineral Clay. sab"
The Chicago man was Interested.
"Ah. indeed And who IL that crab
bed-iooking individual sitting I'm the
corner7"
Hint Lands. boss. he am go de
agreeable en- so unpleasant en- he
maks you so wahm we dens call him
Ginerai Humidity"
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23
HEX SOxT OF MAN
SOCIETY GIRL GIVES LINE ON
WHAT CHE WANTS.
Man Must Be Successful, With $1,000
income and Good Prospects-
Must Not Get Drunk In
Public.

What sort OF a man would l marry
Well. in the first place he'd have to
be successful. Not terribly rich.
though. because / have money of my
own. Say 1--WE thousand a year and
good prospects. Don't care how he
makes it. but he must be a good
spender and have plenty of small
talk. Dress? Why, of course. the
men in our set have to dress well or
the girls wouldn't look at them AS
for his principles and SO on I'm not
awfully straight-Iaced, you know
What / absolutely insist on is that he
does not get drunk In public"
The speaker, Miss Winnie NJ, says
Robert Haven Shauffier. in Success
Magazine, was a popular member of
the Smart Set in the large Northeast
arn city which she called home. She
was tall, slender. animated, with a
charming figure, light, curly hair and
extraordinary flashing blue eyes. She
was the only child of a millionaire
and barely twenty-three.
"Of course I'd like him older" she
continued. About fifteen years older
would do. The elderly ones can give
4 girl better position, and l wouldn't
mind if he were a widower-either
grass or sod. / know lots and lots of
divorced people. And of course, If i
didn't hit 1t off with my husband I'd
not be long about getting a divorce
Would / prefer remaining single to
marrying man | didn't love-" The
great eyes opened in naive astonish
ment. why don't you know that aft
er few years, If a girl doesn't marry
she simply has no position? Loves
all very nice. of course. but ii isn't
really necessary for marriage :"
Children, Oh, yes. Id want one
or two. but no more :. Hered
ity? Now what does that word mean
anyway"
The average income demanded by
the Smart Set girl, on which to start
married life. is $1,000 year and ex-
cellent prospects. Besides that, as a
rule she expects to have money of
her own. Il simply couldn't be hap
py," declares a spoiled child of fortune
In the middle west, without certain
luxuries such as opera seats, trained
servants to care for me, and beautiful
surroundings I simply couldn't ride
bish, but it's fact. | hate crowds,
and one cannot have privacy without
money"
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23

CEvEN million dollars on a joy ride
y through the streets of Washington
is a sight to be seen every week day
at the national capital And this
stands less chance of getting hurt
through the carelessness of the driver
of the wagon it rides in or from out
side forces than any Joy rider. ami
mate or inanimate. In the country.
For the treasury has new money
wagon, a brand new vehicle, made Of
hardwood, iron and steel. with heavy
locks and bars. to bring money from
the bureau of engraving and printing.
where it is made, to the vaults of the
treasury, where it is stored for safe
keeping
And not only Is the new wagon
nearly bombproof in itself, but just to
make sure that some foolish person.
with visions of q Jesse James hold-up
scheme, will never succeed in accom-
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23
Women Little rhouaht OF.

Among some Brazilian tribes Il 10
believed that the presence OF woman
will hinder wine from fermenting In
Nukahiva should . woman happen to
touch or aft near an object put under
taboo, and rendered sacred and In
vfolable because of its contact with
man, II cannot b further made use
Of. and she has to pay the penalty
With her life In consequence. In Tahiti
women must respect the places resort
- to b. men. - veil - thsir nshing
tackle 80 voapcoo--NortA ADsrjean
Dov1oU-
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23
The Extreme OF M.anneas.

The prosperous farmer was Showing
me around his estate.
"Heilol" ] exclaimed with interest
as I noticed near his front gate q
small building on which was nailed
a large sign reading: This is a bath
house. Every hobo must take bath
before applying at the kitchen door for
a hand-out"
Il had 20 put that up on account
of my dog" the farmer explained.
For your dog" | muttered, In n
'what-are-you-talkin tone OF
voice.
Yes. for my dog" he reiterated
The blamed animal Is 80 plumb fas-
tidious that be won't chow up any
hobo that ain't washed"
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23
All InNaIlda.

When the office boy rame in tho
stern old broker looked over hts
glasses with "A frown.
Young man." he said. slowly. why
were you absent from work yesterday
afternoon"
Went 10 see tho baseball game"
confessed the lad. fumbling with his
cap.
You did. eh7"
Yes. sir: you said the only occasion
could take an afternoon OF would
be TO visit the sick"
And what has that 60 do with itT'
Well. sir, this was one OF those oc.
casions. IL was the sickest bunch Of
ball players that ever came down tho
pike. We got whitewashed TO tho
score OF II 10 O."
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23

Turn which way one will, the FIVE
cent piece bobs up at every turn as
the most necessary coin of the realm
Its discontinuance would inevitably
increase the cost of a thousand things
OF everyday life. which no dealer now
has the daring to change because Of
riveted custom. There is no likeli.
hood that the government will soon
consider the elimination OF this coin,
as such action would result In a howl
Of disapproval. nationwide
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23

An old doctor who practises In q
town not far from Chicago recently
made this boast:
Il have brought half the people OF
this place into the world and buried
the other half"
Il had an idea.- said the stranger
to whom the Doctors remarks had
been addressed. that about half the
people in this town were dead but
still unburied"
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23
FOXY SPAR :oWA

{ watched two sparrows I'm the pios
or ground before my Nat
First build. their nest. then raise their
brood
OF nedgiings brown and fat
Now. pretty soon these nedgiings spread
Their wings. and of they flew;
And straightaway the parent birds
Began 10 build anew.
The foolish things to nove" 1 cried
They ought 60 be contentf
Perhaps. my dear my wife replied.
The landlord raised the rent"
-Judge
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23
Man Of Grit

I'D like 10 have box OF your black
berries" said the housekeeper.
Indeed" snapped the independent
grocer. It's a wonder you would come
back after complaining about the sand
In the last box of berries"
"Oh. it is my appreciation OF brav
cry that brings me back"
Appreciation OF bravery"
Yes. | admire your grit"
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23

Il like you better since you mar
ried,' said a frank old lady 10 young
man. and he laughed and answered:
II used to know a great many things
but they were all wrong. every one of
them. II takes sensible wife to
straighten out a mans mental distor-
tons" Doubtless his wife could have
reversed the compliment.
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23
A Marriage Medley.

Nat Goodwin. actor, has his fourth
wife at the time OF writing.
When the census enumerator called
be asked Goodwin:
Are you single. married. or d.
vorced?"
Yes" said odwin.--Philadelphi
Saturday Evening Post.
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23

The Mani heard you tell the cen
sus man yea were thirty.
The Wo'nan-Yes, dear-I told the
truth.
The Yan-But when you married
me. a year ago. you said you were
twenty-five.
The Woman-How time flies when
one is happy,
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23
ON TIE CATTLE CAR.

Tramp-Yes. sir. I've often been IN
train wrecks.
Old Gentlemnu-Ever any loss OF
lief
Tramp-Oh. vest Why onct dere
was over thirty pigs en- twenty sheep
killed outright
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23
RrmovInn Temptatlon.

Yeast-The preacher won't Jet ~
take our umbrellas into church on .
wet day.
Crimsonbeak-W Well, he's right 3
don't think temptation should be put
ia a mans way In church l-YonkerI
Statesman.
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23

Talk about the intelligence OF AMI.
mals."
Say on"
II know of a bunch OF flies who went
to the room of poor blind man and
arranged themselves on the fypaper
IN the form of an interesting story"
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23

Seagulls have increased In numbers
90 enormously in Devonshire, and
have caused 50 much damage to nah.
that the Devon Sea fisheries commit
tee has passed : resolution Ia favor
Of the removal Of protection from the
birds and their eggs. It was ed
mated that one gull Ate ten nah h
twenty-f0ur hours.-Pal NAH Casetfa
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23

tended good. and as she turned an
other page she came upon the pas-
sage at the end of the fourth act, be-
ginning. Get your apparel ready, /" ana
ending with Il do not doubt our play
Il preferred. and do not doubt q
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23
a Remedy.

Hubby-Your milliner's bill last
year has cost me az much as the sal
AIRY OF my two bookkeepers. That IL
more than / can AFFORD.
Wife-Well. discharge one OF them
--TitBits.
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23
A Dense Child

None OF my antics will stop that
kid from crying"
Too bad"
Il should say so. Darn a baby that
can't realize when IL IS being
amused"
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23

Caller say. old man, doesn't that
woman in the next fat annoy you b.
her singing and plano thumping9
Homer-Not IN tho least I'm
bookkeeper In "a boiler foundry. you
know.
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23
Makes a Difference.

why does Bessie grioyo ao7"
"She was Tilted by a wicked man"
"Brutei And why docs Jack seem
so downhearted ?"
Some fool girl threw him over"
The idiot"
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23

Say. old man. can you give me .
second OF your timey'
rs that all you WANT
NO more. You see. L"
Times up. Good morning."
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23
It's Natural Use.

Maggie certainly did hand me a
lemon at the picnic"
why? Did she want TO shake you?"
NO; she wanted me to make the
lemonade"
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23
Too EARLY.

Withdrawn wrote about the
struggle for existence many years
ago.
Gillis-Couldn't he have mndo y
great book of It today. with our pres
ent prices TO work with. thought
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23

Postal Clerk-Beg pardon misai
Since the new postal agreement you
don't need 70 put a fye-cent stamp or
your letters 20 London.
The Miss-Shut up. stranger! ThoBs
fves match my envelopes!
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23

THAT fellow watches the clock Q
good deal"
ITS excusable In his case" ex-
planned the indulgent boss. He's
somewhat deaf and can't hear the
whistle"
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23

las a politician. that man was a dis
grace to the city"
We'll. he has risen In the political
world since then. Now he's a disgrace
to the state."-Puck.
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23

A friend Of fathers told mo that 10
the only test to apply in considerins
which parts of the doubtful plays are
genuine. II you want to read
II. its Shakespeare: and II ycu don't
II isu't"-The Spectator.
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23
Vary Sad.

Twas once: Take caro- OF your oen-
nies"-
You've heard them. those ancient
hunks
| We tried it-took care ~ our pennies.
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23
Without palm.

II thought you told me you'd extract
my tooth without pain" aneered the
victim in the dentists chair.
81 did sir" replied tho suaye don.
fist: haven't you still got the paLn7'
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-09-23

Jim isn't drinking now"
Honest? Did he swear Off"
"Ho-he really quit this time