The Washington bee., 1910-12-03


weary auto wheel.
"And l am worn out" moaned the
shabby cloak, sinking on the seat
''I'm just played out" complained
the footing horn.
That's nothing. have that all gone,
empty feeling" said the gasoline tank
But just then all were put into the
garage and shut up.-Baltimore Ameri-
can.
Sarcastic.
A young woman in London rendered
the cabby the exact fare Of shilling
at the end of a journey.
''Half a moment, MISS" said the
driver. "Are you married."
"No. Why do you ask?"
Because" was the rejoinder. when
you do marry. whoever gets you viii
have a treasure. You makes q bob go
farther than any gal | know"
Small Quarters For Moses.
Donald is fond Of Bible stories. His
auntie was relating to him the story OF
Moses In the basket Of bulrushes,
when he earnestly inquired:
"Did be ever grow to be a manT
Yes" he was told.
"a great big manT
''Yes."
Donald remarked fncredulously,
''Well, I'd "a thought he'd "a busted
tho haskell '-neliuaafn
Wretehed Man.
See the sorrowful man. The man
has every reason to look pleasant His
home is a happy one. his business is
successful, his children are good look
ing and well behaved, he has health
and credit to burn and money In the
bank, yet he looks as gloomy as a dys-
peptic atheist. The day has come when
he must give his desk its annual clean
ing out-Newark News.
Necessity Past.
Congress had been asked would it
please do something for the Delaware
'Delaware?" repeated the members,
with a puzzled air. What's that?"
ITS a river that Washington once
crossed" explained an advanced repre-
sentative Of the people.
well, he got across all right, didn't
hep responded the inquirers. What's
the use Of improving the river nowY-
Philadelphia Ledger.
A Hole In Glass.
A hole may be cut or etched through
glass readily by using hydrofuoric
acid, says Machinery. The acid should
be applied in the same way as etching
acid, using wax to surround the por-
ton of glass which is to be penetrated
HydrofuOric acid is sold in wax bot
ties. as it cannot be kept in glass. 1t
may be handled with a hard rubber
drOpper similar in construction to the
ordinary glass medicine droppers.
A Pretty Kettle of Fish.
When the patient called on his doc
tor he found the good man in a state
of great apprehension.
1--WE got all the symptoms of the
disease you have" said the doctor.
I'm sure have caught it from you"
what are you so scared aboutf"
asked the patient.
"Why, man." replied the doctor. Il
don't think l can cure it."-Harper's
Weekly.
The Last Chance.
An Italian gravedigger after digging
a certain grave put in a bill that was
ex0rbitant When complaint Of the
overcharge was made to him he said:
"Well. the corpse and l had a row
FIVE years ago over a cart / sold him.
and / could never make him pay me
what he owed. So, seeing this was
my last chance. / thought I'd better
/ take it"
Took 1t Out on the Boy.
What, you want a dollar for spend
J ing money!" exclaimed Mr.. Tytes.
j Look here, young man, when / was a
/ boy of your age my father never gave
me a dollar to spend foolishly. l was
taught to consider myself lucky if l
! gCt d nickel"
WELL" protested Bobby, you don't
need to jump on me about it. Tell
your troubles to grandpa" ."-Cleveland
/ Leader.
No Help Needed.
Visitor-I say. old boy. you are the
most absurdly infatuated husband
ever saw In my life. considering how
, long you've been married. You praise
every dish your wife makes. and yet
her cooking is abOminable.
Host-'Sh! Don't speak so loud.
know her cooking is bad. but If say
a word she gets discouraged and sends
for her mother.
Official Corporal Punishment.
The Geratsche Zeitung In a recent
issue reproduced a royal decree" Is
sued by the Grand Duke Heinrich Xxx
at Gratz. In December. 1874. TO show
that corporal punishment was prac
ticed Officially" at that time. The
document calls attention to the fac
that from sunset until midnight boys
disturbed the peace" and ordered
special patrol to arrest all such offend