Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-12-21
Iohn Henry S
Burglar
Bv GEORGE v. HOBART
Burglar

The country place I had promised
Clara ]. and which had borrowed for
day from Bunch, hadn't been so
easy to give back Clara ]. liked
ghosts, and l hadn't been able to stall
her with the haunted-house yarn. She
silk thought it was mine.
When finally / located Bunch and
tod him the bitter truth he acted like
zee-zee boy in a wheel house.
Taught Say, he just threw out his
bit its way through my anatomy.
Every once in while he'd give me
the red-faced glare and smoker, ooh,
you mark! You Cincherine! You to
the settler bottle-fizz-fizz! The only
and original wheeze pul1er, not You're
all right-backwards
Then he'd throw his ears back and
let chortle out of his thirst-teaser
that made the neighborhood jump side
ways and rubber for cop.
What are you going to do?" he
| asked me presently when his face
grew too tired to hold any more
wrinkles
Give me the count" I sighed; I'm
down and OUT
Have you no plan at all?" inquired
Bunch.
Plan, nothing" said; every time
| try to think of plan my brain gets
bashful and hides. There's nothing in
my noddle now but headache"
Well" said Bunch, "Pll throw a
wire at my sister and tell her not to
move out to Jiggersville until day
| after tomorrow. In the meantime
| Wen have to get crowbar and pry
your family circle loose from my
premises. Nothing doing in the ghost
business, eh?"
Nothing" l answered, mournfully;
Il couldn't coax a SILVER"
'We-o-o-u-w" yelled Bunch. 81
have it-burglars!"
"Burglars!" 1 repeated, mechanical
ly.
Sure! It's pipe!" Bunch went
on with enthusiasm "You will play
Spike Hennessy and I'll be Gumshoe
! Charlie. Well disguise ourselves with
whiskers and break into the house
about two o'clock in the morning
! Wen arouse the sleeping inmates
shoot our bulletholders in the ceiling
once or twice and hand them enough
excitement to make them gallop back
to town on the first train. Do you
| follow me, eh, what?'
l sighed and looked as helpless as
| nut under the hammer.
Bunch laughed again. "Oh, very
WE'LL he said. 81 see I'm the only
life-saver on duty, SO I'll do single
specially and pull you out of the
| pickle bottle"
/ grasped my rescuer's hand and
shook it warmly in silence.
Leave a front window open, :"
| Bunch directed, and somewhere
around two o'clock I'll squeeze
through I'll give you an imitation Of
the best little amateur craftsman that
ever swung a jimmy. I'll take late
train out and hang around till it's
time to ring the curtain up BY the
way, are there any revolyers on the
premises?''
Not a gum" / answered, mot even
an ice-pick. Uncle Peter won't show
fight. All he'll show will be blonde
night-gown cutting across lots to beat
! the breeze. Aunt Martha will climb to
the attic, Clara j. will be busy doing
a scream solo, and Tacks will crawl
under the bed ana pull the bed after
him. There'll be no interference.
Bunch; it's easy money!"
With this complete understanding
we parted and l hustled back to Jig
! gersville.
About six o'clock Uncle Peter waded
into the sitting room, flushed and
happy as school boy. I've just left
the garden" he chuckled.
mo, you haven't" l said, glancing
at his shoes; you've brought most
of it in here with you"
] never touched him.
John he said, this country life
| is great Early to bed and early to
rise, makes a mans stomach digest
mince pies-how's that? Notice the
air out here? How pure and fresh
and bracing You ought to go out
and run a mile, joint"
I'D like to run ten miles, l an
swered truthfully.
Exercise, that's the essence of life.
my boyt" he continued. Il firmly be-
lieye l could run five miles today
without straining a muscle. found
a sword hanging ON the wall in the
hall today and I've been practising a
few swings
| A vision of Uncle Peter running a
rusty sword into the interior depart
ment of the disguised and Disguised
Buuch rose before me. but ] blew it
away with a laugh.