The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-03-11
HUM0R0F THE GREEKS
Wit That Helped the Ancients
Drive Dull Care Away.
SOME FIFTH CENTURY JOKES
The Assen.minded Professor Mas .
Prolific Source Of e9errin,ens 70 the
testers Of Those Days-The Source
Of Many Modern Jekes.

Prolific Source Of s9.rrin,en. 70 the
testers Of Those Oays-The Source
Of Many Modern jokes.
The maxim that there Is nothing
new under the sun applies. 1t would
seem. more truly TO jokes and With
cisms than 10 anything else. The chief
differences between the jests OF one
generation and that OF another lie
mainly in their form. The kernel Is
practically the same. Nevertheless il
is interesting 10 exhume some Of these
ancient jokes and 70 recognize in them
the ancestors Of the things at which
we laugh today in the pages OF our
humorous publications.
Some humorous writer's dearly love
TO make fun Of the absentminded. I'M
practical university professor. who
outside OF his own subject lets his
wits wander and is very slow to grasp
anything in ordinary life. Such jokes
as these were cracked centuries ago
by the students and graduates OF the
great universities in ancient Greece.
for 1t is mistake to suppose that
~
unknown to the ancients.
AS a matter Of fact. the student at
the University Of Athens or at the
University Of Alexandria was very
much the same sort Of mortal a Is
the student today. and his professors
were not SO very different.
A witty Greek named Hierocles. q
graduate Of Alexandria. collected some
time in the fifth century a volume Of
students with regard to the woolgath-
ering type Of professor. A number of
them are translated here as being of
considerable interest in the history Of
humor and especially Of college hu-
NOR:
A professor. wishing to swim. was
nearly drowned. whereupon he swore
that he would never touch water again
until he had learned how to swim.
OF twin brothers. one died. A pro-
fessor thereupon. meeting the sur
vivor. asked. lis 1t you that died or
your brotherT'
A professor. learning that q raven
would live for more than 200 years.
bought one to test the matter.
A professor, wishing to cross q river.
went on board the boat on horseback.
When some one asked the reason he
answered that he wanted to get over
in q hurry.
A professor. looking out Of the win
dow Of q house which he had bought.
asked the passersby whether the house
was becoming to him.
A professor. meeting another pro
fessor. said, II heard you were dead "
"And yet" replied the other. you sce
that I am still alive" WELL" said
tho first in perplexity.s'I don't know
what to believe. for the man who told
me about It is q much more truthful
man than your
A professor. in danger Of being ship
wrecked. called for his tablets that ha
might make his will. Seeing thereupor
his slaves lamenting their fate. he
said. do not grieve. for am going to
set you free"
A professor dreamed that he had
trodden on q nail and that the wound
panied him. On waking he bound ur
his foot. Another professor. having
learned the cause. remarked. 1T served
you right, for why do you sleep with
out sandalsy"
A professor. meeting q doctor. hid
himself behind q wall. Some one ask
ing the cause, he answered. Il have
| not been sick for 30 long q time i an
| ashamed to come into the sight OF q
physician"
A professor. wishing to teach hi
horse to be q small eater. gave him NJ
food at all. At length, the horse hav
ing starved to death. the professor ex
claimed. II have suffered q great loss
| for 1ust n he had learned not to eat b.
diedv'
| A professor, visiting . sick person
inquired about his health. The invalid
however. was not able to reply. There
upon the professor. being angry and
scolding the man. said. II hope that
shall be sick some Of these days. AM
then when you come to ask how IN
will not answer"
A professor sealed up . vessel o.
wine which he had bought. His serv
ant having made a hole In the vesse
beneath and drawn on some OF tn
wine. the professor was astonished 4
see the contents diminished while tn
seals remained unbroken. A neighbo
having told him to look whether 1t hal
not been taken out from below. he re
piled. "Why. you fool. it's the uppe
part Of the wine and not the lowe
that is missing!'
4 professor, q bald man and . bar
Der travelling together agreed to keel
watch in turn four hours. each Will
the others slept. The BARRIERS tur1
came first He quietly shaved tn
head Of the sleeping professor ant
when the time elapsed awoke hin
The latter. scratching his head N b
got up and finding 1t bare, cried out
What a rascal that barber is! He
walked the bald man instead Of me--
Exchange.
Legal Advice.
Prisoner" said the justice you af
| ~bar1oA Nth HAVING efrr,ckr tho h