The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-04
HIGH SIGNS" AT MONTE CARLO

John Kendrick Bangs in Harpers
Weekly.
" HE train, after passing through
numerous tunnels and past many
L scenes of delight, entered the
station of Monte Carlo and I descend
ed, and then I reversed my path and as
cended a charming winding path, Dor
dered with sweet-smelling bushes, to
the heights wherein the limestone pal
ace of the goddess of chance rears it's
gayly impressive facade. AS I paced
this glorious sylvan way, way fit for
ardent SWANS, with little green bowers
here and there, in which to whisper,
each to each. those enchanted numbers
whereby We all stand to win or lose in
the lottery of love sooner or later.
began to wonder what should do with
my gains should I break the bank, like
the man in the old song. 1t disturbed
me somewhat to think of the sensations
of my friends and neighbors across the
rolling sea when they read in the large,
flamb oyant headlines of the American
newspapers the cabled announcement
that l had accomplished this rare feat,
and l resolved then and there that,
whatever the temptation, l would not
do it. 1t would be sweet to become the
possessor of such vast sums of nego-
tia BILE currency, but when l thought of
the portraits of myself that would APP
pear in the American newspapers and
the special articles in the Sunday sup
plements, on the subject the game did
not seem to be- worth the candle. But
supposing my winnings came to no
more than a paltry u million dollars
to what beneficient purposes could such
sum not be devoted!
Keeping only enough of it in my own
possession to reimburse me for the tips
lavish ed upon the open-handed sons of
sunny Italy, should still have enough
to spare to endow twenty cots in os
many needy hospitals, send a thousand
or more little tots off into the country
in the summer time out of the parching
tenements of the sere and yellow cities
of America and found a chair in scien-
tific humor in some chosen university.
What was the temporary inconvenience
of having my friends look at me ask
ance as a gambler, or the humiliation
to nv family of those newspaper cuts,
compared with the realization of SO
noble a dream as this? I quickened my
step, eager for the cast that should
make the exercise Of this philanthropy
possible-and just then softly modu-
lated voice at my elbow whispered In
my ear:
POST cards. m'sieu?"
paused before q kiosk covered with
these pictorial labor saving devices for
busy correspondents to glance over the
stock. and 1t was then that the danger
signals began to sound their warning.
The first card to greet my eye showed
the rather bizarre figure OF a LADY,
say lady, be 1t understood. in purely
parliamentary, or possibly Pickwickian,
sense. At home in America she would
hardly measure up, L fear, to the re-
ouired standard but at Monte Carlo liz
the language of Bernard Shaw, "you
never can tell" However, this particu-
lar person was depicted In costume
very much abbreviated at both ends,
accomplishing the somewhat impossible
feat and with impossible feet as well.
of standing upon the upper lateral edge
| of rampant roulette wheel, blowing
bubbles from a slender temmod pipe,
each bubble bearing number, by many
players with a system supposed to be
lucky. Taken altogether. 1t was not
such a picture as would inspire confi-
dence in the value Of soap bubbles a.
an investment for trust funds. and
began to wonder II perchance my vision
of philanthropy based upon the possi-
bility Of my breaking the bank would
not in the end turn out to be pipe
dream"
A second card came to light, striking
a familiar note. 1t bore cartoon
which reminded me of certain satiric
efforts frequently to be found in our
American papers by artists with
xrudge. 1t showed with an almout too
great fidelity to nature the coarse
lineaments of an over prosperous and
| somewh unrefined hog, holding Q
earoupier's putter In the cleft ~ one