The Cairo bulletin., 1910-07-19
A BUSINESS.
WOMAN
BY M. QUAD
BY M. QUAD
Copyright, 1910, by Associated Lit
erary Press.

cabin, A mule ana Il COW. She had al
ways worked in the field with her hus.
band She was a large, bony woman
unable to read or write. and the very
homeliest among lot of homcly WON
en-. No one predicted that she would
marry again, and she had no encourag.
Ing thoughts herself She lived alone,
and all the farm work was done by
her own hands.
When the oil excitement got started
all the landowners around the widow
Turner sold out She alone held on.
She was offered five times what het
farm was considered worth, but she
shook her head. As matter Of fact
she was frightened.
Then along came tin peddler. She
had dealt with him before and found
him honest. She told him her troubles
and he said
Widow, am going to talk plainly
to you. You are as ignorant as a mule
and as homely as stump fence"
II know it, was the answer
"If things had run along as they
were going you couldn't have found a
man In the United States to marry
YOU
II admit that"
But now you can. You can not only
nnd a husband. but money with him
Let me tell you what to do"
They bad long conversation. and
the result OF 1t was that when an of
fer for the farm was renewed next day
1t was accepted with proviso. THE
widow demanded $4,000 in cash and
q husband 1t was acceded to at once
1t would be very easy to find man tC
marry her and run away afterward
Plenty Of them could be hired fol-
$1,000. But the widow wanted an &C
ceptable husband That was different
Thirty men were paraded before her
and she rejected every one The capital
lists had figured on soft thing and goi
left. After two months search and aft
err fifty men had been brought forward
one was found to fill the bill. He was
no scrub, On the contrary, he was o
broken down gentleman. 1t was like
mating an eagle with crow.
Yes. he would do. but there were de
tails to be considered. He must be
bound to certain things, and the buyer
of the farm must guarantee him. He
must be bound not to run away and
not to apply for divorce. He must
be bound TO live in the same house
with her and not be absent over thret
days at any time without her written
permission He must teach her the
common branches of education and
rules of etiquette. He must take hei
to New York city and Niagara falls
once in two years. If she wished tt
sign he must not be put out HeI
money must be her own There were
about a dozen other things mentioned
and the broken down gentleman SAID
he'd be hanged il he would. They hac
promised him $4,000 but he said i
wasn't enough, He hung out until ht
was offered the same as the widow
They told him that a smart lawyer
could pick a dozen loopholes i'm thu
contract
But the widow wasn't through vet
They must allow her $1,000 for law
yer's fee. They agreed, and she sen
to Chicago for one OF the leaders O.
the bar. Then came the guarantee
The guarantee Of the buyer was no
enough. The lawyer insisted that som,
one must guarantee him. This wa,
done. Time had been wasted. ant
"gushers' we're being struck all arount
them. The money was counted out
the marriage took place, and the mex
day the drillers were at work. Th,
newly weds went to the nearest village
to pass their honeymoon. 80
The broken down gentleman had
gone into the thing to make a stake
He had good mind for billiards. goot
clothes aud good dinners. but not 70,
legal matters Within three days ht
ran away. The wife called upon the
gusrantors to return him, They bat
TO hire a detective and hunt for
month When he was brought back hs
was locked ZIP for two weeks. He ap
pealed to the law. but the law sale
that his wife had right TO take al
reasonable precautions. He had bount
himself to teach her certain things
He refused. She called upon his guar
antors, and they forced him to do 1t
He had taught her the A II C's whel
he ran away again. Again he was
brought back.
Although the work OF drilling wells
had begun at once, there were no re
suits They drilled here and there fol
more than year, but not a pint OF
oil was had. That farm was just over
the oil line somehow. Biologists sale
there ought to be great lake of oil
under It. but 1t didn't turn out that
way. In buying and drilling more than
half a million dollars was expended
At the end Of year the broken down
ran away again When his hackers
we're called upon TO return him they
agreed to give the wife 5000 10 let
them of the contract. The TIN peddler
came along and advised her b take Il,
and she did She is still living on that
little farm In the Buckeye State, and
though her singing scares the cows for
miles around and she Is not up on eti-