The San Francisco call., 1910-09-04

are failures.
II you ask me If 1 believe that mar
riage is a failure today, 1 answer very
ernphatically: Eyes" In what we un-
derstand by marriage there is a contra
diction. Nature has considered only the
Cosmic urge. A social marriage is
based on the idea of high and lofty
friendship. an indissoluble partnership,
and intimacy of relationship unknown
in any other phase of existence.
Such marriage was not intended
by nature A new element is intro
duced when a social marriage occurs
mat nature had no thought of. and
we should reckon with this, not with
out it.
This new element is the intellect
Nature does not recognize it in the
Cosmic urge. So the meeting of man
and woman on an intellectual plane. on
a basis OF the sweetest friendship i'm
aginable, is the only condition by which
nature can endure the social marriage
tie-which so often binds, imprisons
and makes slaves.
Even at this time man considers
that he owns a woman; that he has
purchased her freedom. her will, her
habits. her aspirations, her time, her
love, her energies. her future, every
activity Of her life. She is in very
truth under master. And the woman
as well usually considers this true
The woman thinks because she is
owned there rfogn
her husband to which she also has
rights. In the majority of cases the
wife realizes her inferior strength
when might makes right, and the hus-
band is not trusted. He must give an
account of himself morning, noon and
night; Of his money. of his letters, OF
his attentions. The woman has GER
tain laws which she, too, tries to en-
force. He must Support her. with all
that the term implies. Didn't he prom
iso to do this on the wedding day?
Certainly. yes.
So far as I know, humanity is one IN
fits nature. and neither male nor female.
No woman naturally wants to be owned
and possessed. Humanity rebels
against tyranny, and there is more
dlscord, more heartaches, more wrang-
ling, more unhappiness, in short, among
married people than unmarried.
Were ii possible for men and women
when they marry to realize that they
own nothing more IN rights after
marriage than they did before, and
would make no more demands upon
each other, marriage even with its
present accepted meaning would not
be a failure
With this premise viii answer your
questions briefly.
I am A years of age; my husband is
90.
I am a woman of varied occupation:
I supervise the work in a large shop,
also in a large home. I write a little:
1 farm a little and am busy from early
morning until o'clock at night with
work that must make good"
We have one child who is IA years
old.
My husband and 1 have been friends
for 20 years
Marriage has more than fully come
up TO my expectations. I anticipated
the close friendship and companionship
Of the best friend whom L could imag-
inc. ] also knew Emerson's essay on
Friendship" and that in order to have
q friend I must be one. In order to be
worthy OF living with a friend I must
be able to live without that friend, I
expected TO give of whatever I had, in
thought, word and deed.
If ] had il to do over again would 1
marry% Why, yes, absolutely Pro-
vided I were the same person and my
husband We're the same man, or else
marriage with me would be a failure.
In order for marriage to be a success
1t must be new every morning. fresh
every evening-the spontaneous joy OF
living together.