davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03

From the Chicago Journal.
 An Anglo-Indian civilian once had an
 adventure that nearly cost him his life.
 He had got on well with the natives. but
 two of his servants had had a quarrel
 over n girl whom they had wooed. The
 merchant interfered in the affair. The
 unsuccessful suitor, Laj. began to make
 trouble, and his rival, the husband,
 warned the merchant against him. Noth-
 ing happened for some months. The
 merchant went away on business. On his
 return he was told that Laj had been
 caught in his bedroom and locked up.
 In the east this meant trouble. The
 merchant called his servants and had 6
 thorough search made of the house. They
 examined every trunk, bureau and bed
 stead, every picture, statue and crevice in the wall, and crack in the floor, ex- pecting to find a hooded cobra or some other poisonous reptile They scrutinized every knob, handle and garment to see if 1t had been smeared with poison or with juices that attract venomous crea- lures. Then they searched the wine eel lar, the pantry and the storeroom. But they found nothing.
 The merchant was tired, and. after eating, went to the cabinet where he
 kept his cigars. It was large case of
 teak and plate glass, with an old-fash- toned silver Indian lock.
 AS he was about to insert the key ir the keyhole, Lajs successful rival, who had been active in the search, cried out that somebody had been meddling witf the lock.
 An examination of the keyhole revealed traces of wax. When they opened ths case the merchant found everything ap parently untouched Five boxes of ci
 gars were unopened. He had opened moved few cigars. As he took thi!
 box up he noticed on it the marks o dirty fingers. The cigars looked as if they had no been disturbed. He was about to talk one when he noticed that something wal wrong with the head. A second and { third were like the first. In each ; small. almost imperceptible rose thori had been inserted. and on it was { dab of brown slime. still moist. tn same color as the cigar.
 Feeling convinced that the cigars wer poisoned, the merchant sat down ant wrote a note to the police. In half al l hour an officer appeared with Laj unde guard. The merchant stated the case t the officer. and. taking one of the cigars
 handed it to Laj, with the command Take it and smoke it.''
 The man refused. His guilt was proved
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03
NO BAD FOR AN ENGLTsHmAN

 From the St. Louis Globe Democrat Captain Kendall, the captor of Crippen, was talking about the horrors of seasick- ness.
 Some men bear it we'll, though" he said. "I took Liverpudlian to Canada last month and the poor fellow did have a time! Sick from the first day to the last!
 'But he bore it well, and when hs reached Father Point he said to mo: Captain. think I'll go straight back with you.' Why said I. thought you were going to make an extensive tour?' No. I think I'll go back now he said, -sulping as a. nasty swell lifted our bow. I see by your rate card that you carry returned empties'' at half fare.'''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03
ProgrcsS of Wireless TolegraphY

The bureau of steam engineering of the United States navy has just published a wireless telegraph directory covering the entire world. In it are listed 1920 wireless stations scattered over the universe For ign warships are, however, not included, nor are the hundreds of stations equipped and operated by amateurs These anna seur stations are not recognized in any way. They are an annoyance to the reg ulars. and the government declines to recognize them in any manner.
 In the new government directory are listed the wireless telegraph shore sta tions throughout the entire world, &C., cording to country, giving call letters, wave length. power. range and charac- ter of station. There are about 700 of .hese shore stations scattered about the 1lobe. Of this number Ss are on the At :antic and gulf coasts of the United States. three in the interior. IS on the Great Lakes. 51 on the Pacific coast. and lS in Alaska. A separate list shows tht 1T shore stations of the United States navy, and another the sA ships of the navy. The stations of the United States lrrny are listed separately. showing & !and stations and 1s stations aboard yes. .seIs of that service. Tn the list of mer. chant vessels,. such az steamships, tugs. 1ochtsL etc, s21 stations are listed. The
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03
Export Cotton Past and Present
The following table shows that GAS of fhe cotton crop is exported:

In round proportions two-thirds of each crop Is exported and one-third is spun , nd woven or otherwise consumed at .ome.
 The average size of the American cot ,n crop is 100000 bales. This has been
 ,e average size of the crop in the last I've years, and 1t is too early to mark ID the crops average size. In the next D years 1t will be carried to higher av- craze figures, but at present the aver r ze size stands at 100000 bales, about 100000 bales of which are exported.
 Were 1t not for the export of these .ooo,o0o bales, worth about s4oo0oO,oO0. to s1y nothing of cotton seed oil and cake Id other by-products. the balance of trade would be so heavy against this country that every available dollar of lold would be drained away from it. In oher words. the cotton crop is the coun- ,y's financial rescuer from panic, hard Imes and troubles of all sorts. Cotton -tands today the last great barrier to z complete reversal of our position in in ternational trade. The country has be- come so populous 1t needs its breadstuffs and meat products. and it will soon have to depend on cotton and manufactured products to maintain on paper an even balance of trade.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03
MERELY THAT

From the Chicago Tribune.
 Papa asked Professor McGoozle's little boy, "what does 1t mean when fel- low says he's going to get another fel- lows 9oat?"
 'There is nothing necessarily obscure about that. my son." said Professor Mo- Goozle. Tt Is simply the colloquial way of conveying the idea that by some means or in some manner not clearly indicated he intends to acquire possession of a horned duminane quadruped. genus Capra, species not designated. at present or for the time being. to use an idomatic phrase belonging to or being the prop erty of the other person participating in the supposed colloquy."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03
A DOG AND A BUM
m the Denver Times.

From the Denver Times.
 In vacant lot at the corner of Elev- enth and Larimer streets yesterday after noon about o'clock was an old white dog that wasn't well. He crawled over near a billboard and lay down. Lots of people saw him, but nobody paid any at- tention to him until trampish looking fellow came alone. He was Hard Times" personifed. He went over and petted the dog.
 whats the matter, old boy?" he asked "Sick?"
 The dog seemed to appreciate the un- couth ones attentions. The man petted him little more.
 Wait, I'll get you a drink" he said.
 He went to saloon nearby and re- turned with tin basin full of water. The dog lapped up some of the water and the man poured the rest on the anil malls head. In couple of minutes more the dog arose and slowly walked away. wagging his tail. He was much better.
 Just an old dog-just an old bum-that's a11 +ef
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
u.rIr 1rAY rn VIcrnp1

THE WAY TO VICTORY. Because his heart was heavy. Because the way grew dark; No ray of light to cheer him on, No soul-igniting spark. He deemed the battle over, His banner in the dust; Nor e'er would own that he had proved Unfaithful to his trust. The valiant man wifi struggle. Though tears may blind his eyes; Nor count all lost till life be lost And low at last he lies.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03
COLD COMFORT

From the Philadelphia Inquirer. A crash! x. esgs
 A scream of disfnay! The. faithful rnaid-of -all-work rushes terrified into my lady's boudoir ! My lady Is staring at the carpet.
 On 1t lie the shattered fragments of . hand mirror.
 Tears stream from her eyes.
 "Oh. Mary Ann-Mary Ann!ss,she cries. ,"whatever shall do? They say 1t means seven years of misery if you break a look ing glass!'
 Never fret, mum!' comforts Mary Ann. If you've, got cause for misery. what about lme s} I've just gone an smashed the pier siask Tn the drorin' room. ', fsF Alse s-la4 ss Y
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03
THE IRON MASK

From the Housekeeper.
 The records of the Bastile prison in Paris show that on September IS. 1898. a masked prisoner was brought there, who had been kept in custody for time In two other prisons. His name was not put on record, and his face was kept con- cealed by a mask of black velvet made over a steel frame and fastened with a paddock at the back of the head. He was under the care of a special jailer and was not allowed to see or converse with any one else. He died in the Bastile in November, 1703, and was buried un- der the name of Marchiall.
 The identity, of this person has been the most perplexing riddle of history ever since that date. No less than 70 books have been written in different languages concerning the mystery of his life. and 14 different conjectures as to his identity have been given, several of them involv- ing purely mythical individualities. A book written in ITO claimed to identify him with Count Matthiol, high official hold French interests but had chosen to betray them
 This theory was widely approved for a century; but in 1873 French writer iden- tif1ed the Iron Mask with a gentleman of Lorraine, named Marechiel. who had been concerned in a conspiracy to assassinate King Louis, and the similarity of his name to that of the Iron Masks death record was held to render this theory f-Ix another theory was put forward in 1891. founded upon the discovery and decipher- ing of some papers of King Louis. which was that the mysterious prisoner was none other than General du Bulond, who had incurred the Kings anger by rais- ing the siege of Cuneo without orders.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03
Lived To Re Oyer 100

"Octogenarians" are numerous but centenarians are so rare in modern times as to make one doubt whether the few persons who claim to be 100 years old have really attained that un- usual age" said an elderly man. But John Bower, who died in England re- gently was 1o2; and as he was a man of considerable prominence no one could question the accuracy of the date of his birth. He was a retired lieu tenant colonel of the regular army and his age was a matter of record in the war office. According to the London Times Colonel Bower had retained his faculties until within a few days or his death. He was years old when the battle of Waterloo was fought.
 Most of our American centenarians have been negroes. but they have only guessed at their ages.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03
HIPPoPorAMus AT DENTISTS

From the New York Herald.
 Equippel with scrubbing brush lashed to a long pole. a pail of washing fluid, and q wire hook, Dr. W. Reed Blair, veterinarian of the Bronx geological gar den, yesterday gave Pete. the hippopota- mas, his annual dental renovation. Dr.. Blair propped Pete's mouth open. after the animal had been lashed to his cage.
 After scrubbing Petes pearls for an hour, pr. Blair was able to find only one cavity. It Is a small one, however, and pr. Blair thinks that eight or ten pounds of amalgam will be enough to fill it.
 pr. Blair did such a good job that Pete is thinking of having his picture taken for chewing gum advertisement
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03

Judge Anderson as the president of the Crook and Jackass Brotherhood is preserving a judicial calm and dignity. He is an ornament to his office and his profession.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03
.AuTUMN IN THn HARDEN

From the Pall Mall Gazette. Now in my garden, where sat of late And sang fond praise of Summers splen-
 did state, --se.
 Comes rstunnn; touches with . soft Tho leaves; and sends fhem nutterins
 to their fate! Alas, that death should reach these once 50 gay. u 4 ' M They fsiI. they whirI, they dance them- & selvdo away, V
 And little voices chaptins in the rain. This is the end Qf things," seem % 'o sss x :2 stfsf But Il lnox well that fli my safden place. When titne hatk moved him on little ,,,., sneos .s TAX; ;. !,,s.t nv ,v.t- And my-hsaTt lear at Springs delicious
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03
THEY'LL NOT DO IT

From the Pittsburg Dispatch. aF,l
 A woman who has reached the age of 30 advises her less mature sisters in order to enjoy longevity to Swim and avoid corsets." The softer sex will con- sent to swim or dive opportunely. but as to avoiding corsets or being out of fash ion, it would not do that even if 1t .en- abled them to attain the age of 19o. <,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03

Mallory, who has stumped the state for MT. ONeal. and we feel just as he does.
 We have some of the. best democrats down there the south has ever produced. Some of LIS are mossbacks, but when anything affects white supremacy, we can be counted on all the way"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03
THE NEXT BEST

From the Pitssburg Post.
 T want boy to carry a message in a hurry. One who won't read a dime novel on the way. Cant fill that bill. sir, but here's . boy who will finish his book in . couple of chapters"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03

Don't trine in this weather with the pneumonia germ. It is more dangerous than the Rough Rider from Africa.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03
hErLECTToNs OF A BACHELOR

REFLECTTONS OF A BACHELOR From the New York Press.
 Men talk about their principles; they work for their policies.
 Ten minutes after girl is a bride she becomes a matchmaker
 There's some way to straighten out nearly every transgression so as to do it over again. ~e There's always something about wom- an q man ought to admire, if its only that she isn't married to him.
 If everybody stopped trying to set from other people what belongs to them large part Of the world would be out of a job.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03
ABNORMAL

'I distrust Widgeham."
 "Why do you distrust widgeham?" "When he goes away on a vacation trip he always comes back with money in his pocket"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03

Vice President Sherman has been ex- fled to the postmaster party In the un- contested southern states.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03

The antique furniture industry in Grand Rapids. Mich. is becoming over run with orders. It is an industry that
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03

The issue of the hour. says the colo rel. is the workshop against the bucket shop. He sometimes hits the nall on the head.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03

General Coxey of hobo fame Is about to tour the country in an automobile. He Is a plutocrat now.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03

The bathtub trust Is getting into hot water and the federal courts in Mary land do not seem to care how deep the water becomes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03

Seventy-five millions of s1 greenbacks are to be issued as fast as S20 green backs come into the treasury.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03
GENIUS THAT DIED uNHoNoREr

From Kielland's "Napoleons Men and
 Methods"
 During one of the Italian campaigns. OH the eve of great battle. g common soldier stepped out of the line, as they often did, with the old republican lib- erty. and said Citizen general, know how you will beat them tomorrow" And he began to describe a plan of opera tions.
 Napoleon swiftly interrupted him: "Be quiet. you scoundrel!'' The soldier was describing, word for word. Napoleon's own plan of battle. which he thought was utterly unsuspected by anybody else. l.....
 The day after the battle he sent for tho soldier-he had noted his regiment but found that the great talent had per- islaed in the simple, uniform of & soldier and he had probably lost marshal.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03

The lumber trust has exploited Can ada even beyond the point where the ballooning pair landed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03

tol barrel in the hands of a crazy man; was once waylaid and slugged by three thieves and lest enough blood to melt a, newly laundered collar, and then bluffed them out; t;sand been through a storm that was thoroughly convincing that the time had come to forgive all enemies and get certain. debts cancelled. Ihese experiences we thought sufficient 10 bring out a fair assortment of emo- uons, but yesterday we discovered a new line of sensations that had not oe1ore been opened. In Fulfilling an en- sasement to speak at a woman's club we had half an hours time before the oroeai with nothing to do but think apou' u. By the time that half hour was over those past experiences had become joyful by comparison. If you want the real thing in the way of nerve racking ordeals, try woman's club.' Charles M. Vernon.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03

The colonel is a good advertiser. but Mary Garden can outdo him with her hands tied behind her
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03

Universal peace Is marching on. Japan is spending for that purpose $4o,0oo,0OO on dreadnoughts.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03

Mary Gardens press agent Is a hum- mer. He Is as full of resources as an egg is of meat.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03

No state has asked Secretary Ballin ger to help the cause on the stump.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03

Smuggling and taxdodsing are fash- ionable evils of this country but Coi- Iector Loeb Is on tho trail of the for mer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03

The Tacomans propose to hold an Old Home Week when their city is recounted by the census bureau.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03
IAI.rocrTHER TOo PATRONIxINc

ALTOGETHER roo PERFORMING From the washington Star.
 That man Bufferton has very super cflious manner"
 Yes" replied Miss Cayenne. He can't even say Its pleasant day without seeming to patronize the climate
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03

The trouble with the colonel is he is not dirigible In a campaign.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03

Tn this age of manbirds automobiles are fast becoming archaic.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03

The Crippen trial resulted satisfaotori- ly to everybody but Crippen himself.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03

Turkey will be cheaper than bacon in the coming holidays.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03
WHERE MURDER IS FINE ART

Back of all campaign oratory there i deep dark purpose.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03
FREAKISH.

FREAKISH. Mazie likes to be in style, Fashion news she'll gobble; Wears hat to make you smile Also wears hobble When she gets her habits on, Thinks herself a daisy. But her father says, "Doggone! Something's wrong with Mazie!"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03

Illinois wants no nots pay.as-you-snter
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03

THE FARMER. The day Is over,
 The worlds Is fed, And the farmer sleeps
 On his feather bed.
 --Kansas City Star. He snores so loud
 The rooftree shakes Like an aspen leaf Until he wakes.
 Birmingham Herald. He's busy with His daily task Four hours before
 He breaks his fast. # Youngstown Telegram. He stokes up then
 On batter cakes And hog grease And goes out and rakes.
 Houston Post. Or else he tires
 Of the rural scene, 'e And honks to town
 In his limousine.
 NO WONDER. I met a man some time ago. Whom nothing could dismay, So longs he had fine clothes to wear. Three toothsome meals a day And every night downy couch Whereon his form to lay. SHOULD BE INDICTABLE. : "A Kansas editor has something to say about the .ting-a-ling' toque.' Worn by the, village belle. no doubt" PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03
TOUGH LUCK,

I've eaten many an oyster,
 As round the seasons whirl, But sad to say. I never yet
 Have found a costly pearl.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03

CAUSE AND EFFECT. { The more a man-bird flies, the more I fine feathers his wife car wear.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03
TRoUBLE-MAKERs.

Curses on the man who invented work!" Curses on the man who first said, Do your Christmas shopping now'!'
 FROM BOSTON, MAYBE. He kissed her once,
 He kissed her twice
 And said, Geo whiz
 You're cold as ice." .f fs##
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03
Reese of Selma in City

H. F. Reese of Selma, who was a member of the last state senate. spent yesterday in Birmingham. "The black belt can be counted on." he said, ito roll up full vote for the democratic ticket next Tuesday. That section has been the strength of the state for many years.
 There are lots of prohibitionists down therey but after the nomination we are all democrats. We are following Nr.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03
VICTIM OF ENVIRONMENT.

UT I1tO4N4dI14N1 I, "Wherc Is the old gentleman from, you say?'
 'Kokomo. Ind. He has resided there for great many years"
 "Ah. thanks. Thanks awfully! At first I was puzzled to account for his settled air of depression"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-11-03

Iron Market LO0knf8 brtghtef
 "The pig iron market is showing signs of improvement and I believe 1t will become really active after the elections next week. said an iron broker.
 ''The railroads are, as we all know, the largest consumers of iron and steel products and 1t Is reasonably certain that they will soon be in the market again. To what extent they will buy remains to be seen. They are greatly in need of rails and other materials, but so long as the interstate commerce commission keeps them guessing about rates they are not likely to buy as freely as conditions require. Be that as il may, however, some of the railroad com. panies will feel compelled to place large orders without further delay. Any sub stantial buying movement this month will cause the price of iron to advance dollar or more.''
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-09-21
sherman and Roosevelt.

New York, Sept 2l.-It will require
the official count Of the delegates to de-
termine il Vice-president James S.
Sherman or Theodore Roosevelt will be
the temporary chairman of the repub-
Iican state convention which meets in
Saratoga next Tuesday at noon. This
was made certain today when COM
pilation of the list OF delegates was pos
sible following the fiaal upstate prim-
aries OF yesterday.
There is unlikely TO be majority OF
more than 10 or 10 either way, despite
the confident claims made by both
managers today. William Barnes, jr.,
leader OF the "old guard, "claims a ma
jority of 55 for Sherman, while his op-
ponent, Lloyd Griscom, insists that
Roosevelt will have majority OF not
less than seventy.
A careful analysis OF the figures COM
piled by both camps, Indicates that
be old guard" can count absolutely
on but 492 delegates. 1t requires sos
to control the convention, and it will
be necessary for the anti-Rooseyelt com
bine to make up the sixteen needed
delegates from the doubtful list,
Roosevelt cannot figure on more
than 476 delegates TO stick to him to
the very limit, but this friends claim
that when the line up comes they will
get the delegates they need.