New-York tribune., 1910-10-22
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

The late David B. Hill was a total alb
stainer, as his acquaintances we'll remem-
ber. At public dinner up the state few
years ago, Mr.. Hill was the guest of honor
AS the ex-senator sat down he turned his
wine glass upside down and. smiling across
the table at his secretary, Peter ]. Man
willer. remarked: Remember your duty
Peter" What does the Senator mean,
'Pete?' asked a newspaper man. ''You
know he doesn't drink, smoke or cuss," re-
piled Manwiller. and he expects me to do
all three for him"
Paw. what's pretzel?"
"A cracker with the cramps, my son.
Now go to bed."-St- Joseph News Press.
A we'll dressed woman standing just in
side of -as-you-enter car taking
fares from passengers was recently one
of New Yorks queer scenes On enter
ing the car the woman dropped a .
cent piece into the fare box by mis-
take. The conductor saw the error. but
said he could do nothing in the matter
Very Well" said the woman, Il will get
my twenty cents from the next four pas
sengers." She explained the situatio to
the first man who boarded the car took
his nickel. saw that the fare was rung
up and stood her ground till the change
to which she was entitled was collected.
THE CAUSE.
What has caused the fall of romance,
What has darkened all our dreams?
What has paled the glowing sunset?
What has duIled the sweetest themes7
Has a microbe new attacked US?
Does a fresh bacillus lurk?
Oh, the cause is very simple
It's the vicious germ of work!
How can romance chord with toiling?
How can wearied tissues dream?
When a life is constant moiling
How can sunsets hold their gleam?
Hands that reach for sordid treasure,
Heads where crafty sschemings lurk:
There's no chance for dreams romance
Ptted 'gainst the germ of work,
Cleveland Plain Dealer
In the audience at one of the theatres a
few nights ago were two navy sailors. At
the end OF the first act they went out "to
see what time It was and look at the cleo
trio signs, and when their investigation was
over they returned to the wrong playhouse
where their return checks were valueless.
The white light must have affected their
bump of locality. for they landed at the
wrong place again. Determined. however,
TO see a show. they walked to the next
theatre. bought tickets and at the door told
of their adventure, showing the supposedly
useless return checks. They were surprised
TO hear that they had accidentally found
the place where they had seen one act. and.
thanks to their uniform. had the money
for one pair of tickets refunded. Over
joyed al their luck, they concluded to
have another look at the signs. and when
the performance was over they had not yet
returned to make use of their passes.
scribbles-Let me see, what's the old say
ing about taking care of the pennies?
Dribbles-Take care of your pennies and
your heirs will fight over your dollars.-Chi-
cago News.
THE man in Des Moines Iowa, who in
tends TO sue the Fabre Steamship Com
pany for a part of the passage money paid
by his brother who died two days out from
Naples bound for New York, may be
unique" said steamship officer, but we
have records of some queer claims some
what like it. A few years ago a ship was
caught I'm a winter hurricane. and after
the passengers knew that the danger was
past they adopted resolutions thanking the
captain and crew, saying in part. While
we recognize in our delivery the hand of
the merciful God. we return thanks TO
Captain X and his crew. etc Only one
first cabin passenger refused TO sign the
document, which was given to the captain, |
because he wanted to sue the company |
His claim was for drying and pressing
clothes at Liverpool which had become
soaked in the time of danger"
Wears Wife, m sorry TO see you com
ing away from the public house often, |
Priggs.
Blacksmith-Yes m They won't let me |
stay there two minutes AS soon as | get |
set down comfortable like. somebody's sure |
to want job done, and out | has To come |
again.-Punch.
The seyenty-ffth birthday Of a resident |
of the upper West Side was celebrated last |
week at the home of a granddaughter. who |
had invited. among others. four of her |
grandfather's boyhood friends. The grand |
daughters. who acted as mattresses. We're |
dressed In before-the-war style There |
was a tiny homemade newspaper at each |
plate. containing a brief mention OF the |
great happenings In New York since |