davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-24
QUAKER NEGOTIATIONS

CF'rom the Philadelphia Record.1
Keep your mouth shut and you won't
have to eat crow.
Even in politics a boom may be
nothing more than a big noise.
Defeat generally leaves us with
clearer conscience than victory.
Even the self-made man, when he
n1arries, Is apt to be made over.
There isn't anything much more fool
ish than other peoples love letters.
II feel like a birdi" exclaimed the
man who had been tarred and feather
ed.
It's the unexpected that happens,
hut don't waste too much time waiting
for it.
A man named Smith might just as
well not have it engraved on the ham
die of his umbrella.
The personifcation of a painful ST.
Ience is a laxative woman in dentists
chair with a rubber dam in her mouth.
If "time is money and haste makes
waste" and economy is wealth" and
riches are dross." where do we stand2
'Ha! hal" roared the North Wind.
1.-The papers say spring is here We'll,
We'll just freeze onto it," replied Jack
Frost, jocularly.
Blobbs-'Mss Giddigirl merely uses
her religion as a cloak" Slobbs-"And
in summer I suppose she turns it into
a bathing suit
NeIl-"Has Maude been observing
Lent?' Belief should say she has.
Why she has won enough at bridge to
pay for Ler whole Easter outfit"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-24

bridges is very daring man"
Never heard of him. What did he
ever do2" Spoke right out loud in the
doctors reception room!"-Bumalo Elk
press.
How did you get the reputation of
being taciturn2'' Possibly because
only discuss matters that am familiar
with. "-Pittsburg Post.
Rome was not built in a day. I'll
bet 1t wasn't. II Romulus was any
real contractor. he probably put up
bunch of scaffolding and then laid off
for year or two."-Cleveland Leader.
samson's wife latnented the Job. 'Now
he is blind and can't hook up my
waists" she mourned. Thus we learn
that treacher-- is punished even in this
world.-New York Sun.
Those Martians are a limited lot,
appear to be engaged in anything ex-
cept digging canals. Boston Herald.
Patient--I am suffering from the loss
of memory doctor. Can't remember
thing five minutes. Doctor-WelI-er-
hadn't you better-that is-er-my fee
is $5.-Erowning's MAGAZINE.
81 can't see why you should howl
about the cost of living. You haven't
any children MY wife informs me
that dog biscuits have gone up fright
fully. Recor3-HeraId.
Rory" said the minister 81 hear ye
were at Dunlop's kirk on Sunday last.
Not that object, We ken, but We widna
yersel like yer ain sheep trayin' away
into strange pastures" IT widna care.
sir" said Rory, "if it was better grass"
Boston Transcript.
Did you give the scraps of meat to
the dog Norah?" "You forgot, mum.
that we'd quit eatin' meat. mum, but
Oh give tn haste tn carrot tops an
pertaty parin's Los Angeles Ex-
press.
Say, pa" well. what is it," pa.
what is alfalfa % Its a slang term for
whiskers, son." replied the city man as
| ne resumed his Washington
Herald.
rs this proposal the result of a pet
or a joke or a dare?" asked the girl.
mo. I ask you to marry me because
I love you" 1T is unusual, but after
ell the unusual is the proper caper now
a6ays- accept you, Algernon. Louis
Vile Courier-Journal.
"Jimpson is great hand to foot his
own horn Indeed he is. Jimpson
seems TO think that if he doesn't 'Honk,
honk!' every few minutes people will
ningham Age-Herald.
When it comes to church work the
average woman is willing to do SIS
worth if she can raise rs cents in cash
on it.-Dallas News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-24
EARTH. TILE vAMPTRE,

The earth is vampire-smiling
She goes upon her way,
Our love and trust beguiling,
And always fair and gay.
She takes our youth and gladness,
She takes our hope and joy.
And turns them all to sadness
With grief and pains alloy.
Our youth and strength she alters
And leaves us worn and old:
She pities not, nor falters.
But gives us drosS for gold.
She takes youths rose leaf bushes.
The light from beauty's eyes,
To make the changing flushes
OF summers evening skies.
The gladness from our voices
She steals to give her birds;
No more the heart rejoices,
We speak with solemn words.
And when worn, spent and weary
We pass from her away
Her smile is not less CHEEKY,
No hour less bright and gay.
-Ninette NJ. Lowater. in the New Yorl
Sim
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-24

Ell was looking for him. and have got
him, and to prison he goes!
major started FOR. home to tell the
great news. Half way there he mex
his daughter and she laid his watch IN
his hand and said:
II found II in your old vest. You
forgot to take it out when you
changed back"
and shook all over. He had made the
mistake of his life. He was roaring
lion of a major, but he was an honor-
able man.
Be that as it may, the young man
walked home arm in arm with the
major and as they reached the house
the profile had a smile for him. ana
he would have been q curious man
not to have seid to the man OF war
a year later:
Major Aldrich, I'm in love with
Miss Jessie and want to ask her to be
my wife."-(Copyrighte 1910 by AS
ISOLATED Literary Press.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-24
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Men take off their coats not to work
harder but to work easier.
X X X
Some people are at their best when
they're talking on the wrong side of a
subject.
The point is reached sooner or later
where any and every kind of deception
is exposed.
y X
Many persons would get along better
if thew would devote more energy to
pleasing themselves.
n y x
Fish may or may not be a good
BRAIN food but they certainly have a
tendency to stimulate that portion OF
the mental faculties where imagination
originates.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-24
THE HEAT AND The COMET

1t is not unusual to hear a credulous
individual remark that the heat Of
these days, most unusual for this time
of year, is due to the vicinity of the
wonderful HALEY comet. If such Il
theory were tenable it would be reason.
able to expect the heat to keep on in
creasing proportionateIy for the next
six weeks until the comet gets as near
the earth as it will during the course
of it's present marvellous flight And
If that were to be the case it would be
SO hot then that everything on earth
would wither up and die
Such a dire calamity is not within
the realms of a possibility. Astrono-
ners OF every degree are agreed on this
point. Some of them admit that a
comet occasionally hits the earth but
by the time it reaches such a. destination
it has lost its vigor and has literally
burned itself up in its mad flight
through the atmosphere of the heavens
and the millions of miles of it that sur
round the earth 1t has been figured
out that a comet hits the earth about
once in 100000 years. Inasmuch 80
there is evidence OF animal life having
existed continuously on earth for 100,-
0O0, 600 years this would mean that the
earth has been struck by comets no
less than SO times and has been able to
survive the shocks in handsome fash
ion.
Astronomers did not always hold to
these beliefs about comets, though. 1t
wasn't so many. many years ago TINT
one of them in Europe and one of the
most prominent mathematicians of his
time and all time, figured 1t out to his
own satisfaction that a comet was due
to hit this globe at a point in one of
the seas at a certain date in the then
near future. He said that the blow
would be such a forcefuI one that it
would start on it's way tremendous
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-24

As the farmers SO pointedly put it,
with hogs selling at $10.25 per hun
1red pounds, wheat at 81 a bushel.
corn at so cents a bushel and eggs
and butter bringing more than they
have ever brought before at this sea-
son Of the year, they neither have the
time or the inclination TO hunt for
political offices. This is not good news
In way for the farmers of Kansas
make the best possible public SER
wants when they can be prevailed up
on to act as such.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-24
ALPHABET OF HEALTH.


ALPHABET OF HEALTH.
Abstain from Intoxicating liquors.
Breathe good air.
Consume no more food than the
body requires
Drink pure water.
Exercise daily.
Find congenial occupation.
Give the body frequent baths.
Have regular habits.
Insure good digestion by proper mas
tication.
Justify right living by living right.
Keep your head cool and your feet
warm.
Make definite hours of sleep.
Never bolt your food.
Overexercise is as bad as underexer-
else.
Preserve an even temperament.
Question Ihe benefit of too much
medicine.
Remember. AN ounce Of prevention
is worth a pound OF cure
Sacrifice money, not health.
Temperance in all things.
Under no conditions allow the teeth
to decay.
Vanish superstition.
Worry not at all.
X-tend the teachings of this alpha
bet to others.
Yield not to encouragement.
Zealously labor in the cause Of
health and gain everlasting reward
Atchison Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-24
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

[From the Chicago News.1
Small circumstances may alter big
cases in court.
Many a good man is gutter when
the whistle blows.
A tali1ative man is first-ciass bu-
reau of transformation.
Occasionally girl with a squirt IL
mistaken for a f1irt.
Some mon who are even-tempered are
ill-tempered all the time.
Give the reverse lever q yank when
you md yourself talking too much.
The wise widow doesn't invest her in
surancs money in another husband.
1t takes a woman Just as long to dry
her hair dry town as elsewhere.
When a r IN SAYS you are too smart
to be fooled. look out: he is getting
ready to spring a new one on you.
When @ man goes to church and hears
a sermon that hits him on all sides,
somehow he doesn't seem to enjoy It.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-24
Where Widows Money Goes.

New York at least has begun taking
an intelligent interest in compensation
to victims of industrial accidents. A
ture has been investigating the SUBJ
ject. Here is one thing it discovered.
A great many of the larger employ
ers take out insurance against dam
ages arising from accidents to their
workmen. Several companies make a
specially of writing such insurance.
For given premium the company as
in regard to damages resulting from
accidents. OF the money that the en-
ployer thus pays to the company, 40
per cent goes for the general ex-
penses of the company, while 1 5 per
cent more is absorbed in the expenses
damages. Thus only 45 per cent goes
to the victims, and of that 40 per cent
probably about half goes to the VIC
TINS lawyers. Out of every 500
which the insured employer pays on
account of personal injuries through
only $50 or $25 actually reaches the
victims 1t seems, moreover, that out
of ten claimants only-o one ever gets
anything at all.
The victims of these accidents in
most cases are needy cripples or
widows or orphans.
1t Is true, as employers sometim es
urge, that settlement of damage claims
by means of a lawsuit is the merest
lottery. "A fraudulent claim, especial
ly II pressed by a woman, may be
awarded a heavy judgment. A just
cality. But why leave it to a lottery?
Why not follow the example OF every
other civilized nation saturday
Evening Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-24
Psychic Women.

Psychology? You may say all you
please about a man having it on a,
woman as psychologist when it
comes to trying a case in court or
sitting evidence before a master in
divorce, but take it from me that the
women have way of evening things
up" said a Swarthmore professor,
who has been attending the Univer-
sity of Pennsylvania's Saturday morn
ing psychological clinics. 1.-THE reason
for that is simple enough. Take
pay-witnfn car which is just comfort
ably filled. The men, reading newspa-
pers or books or conversing with
friends. are off their guard as far as
the presence of one of the gentler sex
is concerned. The woman is quick to
take advantage of this. AS she enters
the car she VIII scan the faces of the
men and quickly, almost intuitively.
make up her mind which man to
stand in front Of Selecting some one
who looks chivalrous or sensitive. or,
best of all. one who is looking around
the car for the missing vacant seats,
she steps up in front of him, and it's
dollars to doughnuts that he will ac-
cept his checkmating gracefully and
Immediately rise to give the lady his
seat. It is psychology which enables
this little ruse to work nine times out
of every ten. The woman senses which
mans corns to stand upon and which
man to leave severely alone. Know
ing full we'll that as she enters the
car the men who look at her will be
sizing her up solely on a basis of good
looks, she is able to coolly look them
over, scan the upturned faces, and de-
eide which is the easiest mark -
Philadelphia Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-24

A Florida merchant says his state
needs settlers but he warns the people
farther north against overdrawn prom
ises of wealth there. Likely it is just
the same in Florida as it is in every
other section OF the country. Wealth
doesn't grow on bushes, as some guilt
BILE people are made to believe. 1t is
only to be acquired by work and hard
work at that
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-24
Fsollowing Pedestrian Weston over

Following Pedestrian Weston over
the Santa Fe route will come "a bill
lionaire special carrying such vaIu-
able human freight as Andrew Carne-
gle, Mrs. Russell Sage. Major Slocum,
Edwin Gould and w. Seward Webb
with their families and friends. But
il 10 safe to bet that remarkable as is
this aggregation, it will not attract
near as much attention and news
paper space as its journey progresses
as did old man Weston.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-24

Colonel Roosevelt is just as strong
for the conservation of the resources
OF Egypt as he is for those of his own
land. He has denounced in no un-
certain terms the vandals who have
hacked 20 Disagreement many of the
famous tombs and their statuary of
grotesque form and ponderous size
which are the chief attractions these
days in the land of the Pharaohs.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-24

Mr. Pincllot has unexpectedly liked
for Europe Just as the most important
stages of the Ballinger-Pinchot inves-
tigation are being reached. Maybe
his attention was called to that verse
which runs:
For he who fights and runs away
May live TO fight another day;
But he who ig in battle slain
Can never rise and fight again.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-24

This summer weather would be &C
cepted by the people hereabouts with
better grace if they could only down
the thought that a succeeding cold
spell is inevitable and then the fruit
and ali the early flowers will go just
the way that they have gone before
wither and die in their premature
youth. Here's hoping against hope,
though
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-24
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

LF'rom the New York Press.1
Friends won't disappoint you unless
they get the chance.
When a woman means everything She
says, it's never to a man.
It seems TO be much easier to kiss a
girl against her will than with ii.
Destiny turns a man into a football.
but the devil picks those who shall
kick it.
A man can get to a place so much
quicker in a street car for a nickel that
he wants to take a cab for a dollar.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-24
catching

Another popular superstition has been
shattered. A correspondent writes TO
the Chicago Tribune that there are
frogs in Ireland. but. he. says they DO
not grow to such Falstaffian proper
tions. nor do they have such deep tones
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-24

Bishop Quayle has most indirect
way when it comes to complimenting
a man. He Iikened man recently to
a pig, but took care to add that any
kind of a pig will make good bacon
and bacon is the finest meat in the
world. Still, a pig has to be killed
before he can be made into bacon.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-24
FRON OTHER PENS
PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES.

Some statistical person has figured
out that in the first year of his admin
istration President Taft made 34S
speeches. The highest record that his
predecessor had in any one year was
242 speeches, and Mr.. Roosevelt was al
ways ready to reach the public. In all
this amplification of publicity, some
thing has been lost of the dignity of
reserve that often becomes public char
acters. Would it be possible for any
man to make several hundred con-
secutive and forced speeches without
saying some things that would later
return to plague him? We very much
doubt it. President Harrison had the
best gift at making little speeches on
a tour of any president perhaps in all
the long line of them. President Taft
is not so gifted as a public speaker,
and in making 348 speeches a year he
could scarcely avoid disclosing at times
what James A. Garfield once called
"the staggering of his mind''-that is,
the revelation of matters not quite
licked into shape.
But the impression which President
Taft's many speeches has left upon the
country is that of an honest frankness,
joined with the intention to do his best
and to take the consequences. 1t is
rather more than likely that as this adj
ministration proceeds it will slowly
perhaps, but none the less surely, COM
mand public confidence, because OF the
clear honor and the right intent Of the
man at the head of it.-Springfield Re-
publican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-24

That Brooklyn man who has just
sent a contribution of So to be de-
voted to relief work incident to the
great Johnstown food of 81 years
ago. is evidently the f1rmest believer
on earth in the efficacy of the theory
that it's always better late than
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-24

1t is now easy to predict that the
rioting in Bogota. Colombia. will be
brought to a sudden end. Two Eng
Iish girls, mistaken for Americans
have been mobbed and beaten by a
Bosotan mob. And England never
stands for any monkey business of
Kind
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-24

His roval highness, the Duke of Or
leans. has issued a royalist manifesto
in which he says that the time IS ABOUT
ripe to overthrow the French repunhc'
The ..insurgent'' fever appears to be
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-24

In case some one has overlooked it,
attention is called to the fact that
Spring. gentle Spring. has arrived Of
ficiaIly. according to the calendar
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-24

Nothing like dearth of reception
committees will exist at the Roosevelt
homecoming celebration which Is to
be staged in New York city. Mayor
Gnynor first appointed a committee OF
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-24
DIR. Wiley's Campaign.

In the meantime, DR.. Wiley is pre-
pairing to give active support to the
campaign against short weight, which
is now being waged in several states
He is against anything that implies or
favors dishonesty. As far back as
1898 he defined his attitude by say
ing that he did not object to the use
ad dressing, but what he did object to
was paying 40 cents for a bottle of
such oil when he was thinking that
he was buying olive oil.
DIR. Wiley confesses openly that he
hopes for the day when the standards
now being set for foods and drugs
shall be applied to anything and ev-
erything forming part of our great
interstate commerce-when, instead
of flood and drugs" we shall place
the single word fmerchandise" in all
ity, square measure and honest label
ing And he once said: "From the
present trend of court decisions have
reason to believe that it will not be
long before people who misrepresent
the quality or the benefits of their
merchandise by printing false adver-
tisements or circluars-even though
that merchandise be labeled within the
letter of the present iaw-will be pros
ecuted under the provisions of that
law
Here we find indication of a pro-
gram that will certainly keep DR.. Will
ey working and fighting for a long
time to come. "I have never stopped
fighting, no matter how often defeat
ed he says. ct have never become
discouraged, and I was never inclined
to give up any fght.'-Edwin Bjork
man, in the Worlds Work.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-24

Mrs. Ella Flag Young. superintend-
emf of the Chicago schools. believes
that dramatic training of children will
helm to elevate the stage.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-24
SWAMP LANDS.

An enterprfSing citizen of New Or
leans has obtained title to 100000
acres of swamp lands in Louisiana, and
in concert with the Illinois Central and
Southern Pacific railroads and some
capitalists of Chicago it is proposed to
raise 81, 500. 900 to expend in draining the
swamp. The soil is the richest in the
United States, and equal to any in the
world. 1t is estimated that with pro-
per tillage it will produce over three
bales of cotton to the acre, whereas the
average crop of that staple is less than
one-half bale to the acre. In fertility
the soil of the swamp lands near the
Mississippi is practically inexhaustible.
and there are 100000 acres of such
lands in Louisiana. alone. or more than
10000 square miles.
Mississippi, Arkansas, Tennessee,
Kentucky Missouri. Illinois, Iowa, and
the states farther north have immense
areas of swamp lands more fertile than
Goshen. which are now practically
worthless for lack of drainage. Upon
the idea that prompted the act levy
ing a. tax on oieon1argarine, our govern
ment can do anything that is expedf-
ent. 1t has been held that the gov
ernment can conserve waters in the
woolly west to irrigate the pubhc DO
main and Subdue it to the husbandTnan,
and it has been argued that it should
remove water from lands in the Mis-
Sissippi river bottoms to render them
fit as field. garden and orchard, but
r.early all the swamp lands of the great
valley are the property of individuals,
end that fact may serve to deter con-
gress from the MISUNDERSTANDING
Post