Daily Arizona silver belt., 1910-05-03
KITCHENS and KIMONAS
 PARLORS and PUFFS
q 5
Obserued By the Census Man
By Hilliard Booth

Heralded by this infantine cry, as though I belonged to the genus hurdy -gurdy, hokey- -pokey or hot tamae, have faced the irate housewife, battled with barbed wires and braved the "Measules" " sign to obtain from people of Globe the information the government requires in com piling its thirteenth census.
 The rate housewife, however, has been in the minority To the credit of Globe people be it said that courtesy and frankness have general ly marked my reception. The few who received me otherwise regarded me as a cross between book agent and police spy. One woman con sidered it clever to tell me she was merely the house cleaner and that the family was out; a statement did not question at the time, inas- much as she was on the front porch combng her back hair which was quite as free from her head as she was from embarrassment. But the decep- tion did not prevent her going down on the list.
 Another woman refused to answer the bell, pretending that the house was empty; but when I audibly admired her flowers, and made mo- tions as though to pick several, she appeared quickly enough.
 At no time, however, was driven to the ex- treme necessity of showing my census badge, near, near-nickle shield that would have called forth the demand for a transfer, 1 am sure, for it suggests nothing so much as street car conductor. But on the whole, as ] have said, I was received with smiling resignation, if not exactly glad enthusiasm
 Even the age question aroused little opposi- tion-and small wonder, for Globe is a city of young people. Still, this was disappointment to me, as I had prepared the following age-re- bate schedule:
 ''To the Ladies of Globe:
 A glass of lemonade to the census taker will deduct one year from your age
 glass of beer-two years.
 A h-ball-three years.
 Champagne-fve years.
 Perhaps I should have published this schedule beforehand as it was, I drank nothing but water.
 was fed tortillas by an agreeable sonora, however, who acted as interpreter for several other senoras and their families, as my Spanish is limited to "Tendria Via bondad de darme la liste de comide?'' A sentence not exactly help ful in finding out ages.
 Neither could I understand some of the ne- groes, although it was not the fault of their Eng fish. One woman, for instance, said she was single and had two children. Further question ing brought out the fact that she was widow. In the opinion of these people, spinsterhood pre- vails as long as there isn't a man on the prem ises. Another, when asked how many children she had thought deeply, and then replied: s'Well, you might say three.'' l forebore to question further. A third told me she was single, though at one time she had been mar ried for month "Divorced?'' asked. 'Lah mo-" she grinned, wasn't worth while gettin a dee-vorce fer such a little marriage lak that. '"
 Ignorance was not confined to the colored A white woman informed me she was not born in the United States, but in Illinois A second one wanted to know if England was in the United States But the prize remark was that of woman who wanted to know the use of the census anyway, when Halley's comet was sure to destroy us. ''Look what the comet this winter did" she moaned "It hit the evening star and knocked it all to pieces. l know ii, for I haven't seen the evening star since.'
 Iwhiled away two pleasant hours in jail The sheriff locked me in with the twenty-slx county prisoners-whites, Indians, MeXcans and ne- left me to extract their pedlgrees, a proceeding which had all the effect of moral sermon and some of its disagreeableness. When I finished a spokesman of the jail birds an that I was to be tried by kangaroo court unless I saw my way to supply them with a little tobacco. As the sheriff was not within hailing distance decided to renOunce the de- lights of being kangarooed and saw my way. y I charged the two-bits up to the government and took my revenge by going forth and waking upI three sleeping bartenders, and corraling man in his bath.
 "My 'usband's mime is 'Arry. Mine is Ar riet My, but haint it 'ot." Labelling this Cornwall, England" I hastily proceeded tol