Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-12-02

it you are at perfect liberty TO go down
to the New York Produce Exchange,
ask the starter how you get to the Of
fees in the tower and come face to
face with sign which reads;
Box Shocks
For twenty-five years the general
public has been unacquainted with the
fact that there is a person in New
York who owns no initials, first name
or addendum to his name. In the re
cent rule of England it was not I'M
common to see official statements ema-
mating from buckingham palace sign
ed "Knollys' Noles-but
that was not because lie didn't own an
antepenultal syllable; it was attribut-
able to the European custom.
1T happened this way said Tiff.
"My father thought that perhaps l
wouldn't like the name that he gave
me, my mother thought that perhaps
l wouldn't like the name she gave me.
and so they decided to leave it 10 me
until l got old enough to choose one
for myself
Always Merely Tiff.
"weu. it went along. and I found
that ! was not exactly endowed as
other persons. The boys ut school
wanted 70 know what my name was
and told them Tiff. If they wanted
to know anything about my first name
I told them Tiff That was all there
was to it. and so what do you suppose
they called me? You guessed right
the first time. Tifft-jUst that and
nothing more
And so his childhood passed.
Once in awhile some overinsistent
companion wanted to know just why
It was that there was no first name,
and after awhile Mr.. Tiff began an
swering by physical prowess. But, as
a rule. there were few queries. Such
things spread.
And then it came to the time when
he would have to vote. He and his
father who was one Of the original
members of the shook firm. went to
the family counsel and asked him
what about it. The lawyer looked up
everything that had happened in that
line since the common law was writ
ten and discovered that the only case
of a one named man was a ragpicker
in Boston.
That person seemed to be able to
struggle along without much trouble
and without anything like police inter
ference. and so Mr. Tiff thought he
would risk it. He lives in Brooklyn.
and he found that in his town-as 1t
then was-and in New York there
were only four or FIVE lifts. and all
10
think they would do anything disa-
greeable about it.
Votes That Way Too.
The first time Tiff went to vote the
inspectors Of election wanted to know
what about it. He told them that it
was just Tiff, and there wasn't any
use in arguing. It got by.
Pretty soon Tiff got far enough
along in the world to start a bank ac-
count. The receiving teller took good
look at him when he shot through a
sample of his signature and wanted 10
know why he was so stingy with the
ink. But by the time a couple of
checks had come home without a muir
muir the teller allowed that it must be
all right. And right at this minute
Tiff has two bank accounts, both of
which he opened with the one word
Tiff.
Now there are two young lifts, and
the odd part of 1t is that both of them
have perfectly good front names. The
idea of junior Tiff or of Tiff. I'd
didn't look good TO him, and. besides. it
didn't look good to Mrs. Tiff, which is
more important.
Be it said for those who haven't a
dictionary handy that shocks, painted
On Tifft's door, are the parts of a box,
its sides and its top and bottom, he
fore il is assembled.