Milford chronicle., 1910-11-25
FUN THAT FAILED.
Mark Twain's BurIeSque of Emer-
son, LOngfeIIOw and Holmes.
IT SHOCKED THE IMMoRTALS.

r. NAL Effect Of the Humorists At
g tempt to Make Game of the Dignified
: Literary Trio at the Boston Dinner
y In his memories Of Mark Twain in
. Harper's W. d. HOwells tells of the
dinner in Boston when Mark Twain.
: with fatal effect, made game of Emer-
son, Longfellow and Holmes:
D He believed he bad been particu-
2 larly fortunate in his notion for the
e speech Of that evening, and he had
worked 1t out in joyous self reliance.
II was the notion Of three tramps.
three deadbeats. visiting a California
mining camp and imposing themselves
( upon the Innocent miners as respec-
lively Ralph Waldo Emerson. Henry
Wadsworth Longfellow and Oliver
Wendell Holmes. The humor Of the
conception must prosper or must fail
according to the mood Of the heareE,
but Clemens felt sure Of compelling
this to sympathy. and he looked for
ward to an unparalleled triumph.
"But there were two things that he
had not taken into account. One was
the species Of religious veneratiOn in
which these men were held by those
nearest them. They were men Of ex-
traOrdinary dignity. of the thing call
ed presence for want Of some clearer
word. so that no one could well ap-
| prOach them in a personally light or
trihing spirit. do not suppose that |
anybody more truly valued them or
more piously loved them than Glenn /
ems himself, but the intOxication of his .
fancy carried him beyond the bounds
Of that regard and emboldened him to
the other thing which he had not taken
into accOunt-namely, the immense
hazard Of working his fancy out be-
fore their faces and expecting them to
enter into the delight of it, II neither
Emerson nor Longfellow nor Holmes
had been there the scheme might pos
sibly have carried. but even this is
doubtful.
Il was the hapless president, fulfill
ing the abhOrred function of calling
people to their feet and making them
speak. When I came to Clemens /
introduced him with the cordial ad-
miratiOn l had for him as one Of nay
greatest contributors and dearest
friends. Here, said. in sum. was a
humOrist who never left you hanging
your head for having enjoyed his joke
and then the amazing mistake. the be-
wildering blunder. the cruel catastro-
phe was upon US. l believe that after
the scope Of the burlesque made itself
clear there was no one there. including
the burlesquer himself, who was not
smitten with a desolating dismay.
There fell a silence. weighing many
tons TO the square inch. which deep
ened from moment to moment and
was broken only by the hysterical and
blood curdling laughter Of a single
guest. whose name shall not be hand
I'd down to infamy. Nobody knew
whether to look at the speaker or
iOwn at his plate. I chose my plate
IS the least affiictiOn. and so ] do not
know how Clemens looked exceDt
when stole a glance at him and saw
lin standing solitary amid his ap.
,alled and appalling listeners. with his
Oke dead on his hands. From a first
,lance at the great three whom his
est had made its theme. ] was aware
+ Longfellow sitting upright and re-
'arding the humOrist with an air Of
ensive puzzle, OF Holmes buSily writ
ng on his menu with a well feigned
feet Of preOccupation. and Of Emer-
on holding his elbows and listening
With sort OF JOvian oblivion of this
ether world in that lapse Of memory
7hich saved him in those later years
rom so much bother. Clemens must
ave dragged his joke to the climax
nd left II there, but ] cannot say
MS from any sense of the fact OF
hat happened afterward at the table
here the immense. the wholly inno-
ant, the truly unimagined affront was
fered. / have no longer the least re-
lembrance. / next remember being
room Of the hotel where Clemens
as not 10 sleep. but TO toss In despair
nd Charles Dudley Warmers saying
the gloom. Well. Mark. You're a
lnny fellow II was as well as any
ing he could have said. but Clemens
emed unable to accept the tribute.
Il stayed the night with him, and
e next morning after a haggard
'eakfast we drove about, and he
ade some purchases Of brlc-a-brac
r his house In Hartford. with a soul
far away from bric-a-brac as ever
e soul Of man was. He went home
an early train. and he lost no time
writing back to the three divine
which he had so involun.
rily seemed TO hOut- They all wrote
ck TO him. making II as light for
m as they could. have heard that
nersOn was a good deaf mystihed
d in his sublime forgetfulness asked,
no was this gentleman who appear
to think he had offered him some
It Of annOyanceT But ! am not
re that this is accurate. What |
J sure Of is that LongfellOw a few ~
Us after in my study stopped before
photograph of Clemens and said.
B. he Is a wagr and nothing more.