davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22
STUDENT WHIPS PROFESSORS
Then He Burns His Diploma to Show
What He Thinks of the
University.

Syracuse, N. Y.-Dean Sheppard
and Prof. Paul G. Nugent of the Ly-
man c. Smith college of applied sci
ence Jared badly in fist fights with
Herbert W. Faus, graduate of the
civil engineering department. Vexed
over the delay in obtaining his diplo-
ma after he had made up two sub
jects in which he was back because
of his time given to athletics, Faus
walked into the deans Office and said:
"If you want to know what / think
Of this institution and your diploma,
will show you" and he started to light
a cigar with the diploma.
Don't try that or there will be
trouble, young man." warned the
dean, but Faus was not frightened.
eff that is what you mean," replied
Faus, lust take off your glasses"
While the diploma was burning in
the students hand the dean struck
him on the nose, drawing blood and
cutting it. Faus retaliated and had by
far the better of the argument. After
this encounter Faus went to the home
of Professor Nugent and had another
fight.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22
[ LIGHTNING STEALS A WATCH
Bolt From the Sky Plays Some EN
ceedingIy Queer Franks on
Massachusetts Man.

Brockton, Mass.-During thunder
storm a bolt of lightning entered 8
bedroom on the second floor of a
house in which Edward Bolles was
sitting. The lightning ripped up the
bed clothing, burned the mattress and
knocked the footboard through a win.
dow.
A gold watch chain which was at.
tached to a vest he was wearing was
melted and his watch spirited away
and has not been found. though g
thorough search of the house and
grounds has been made. A part of the
roof of the house was lifted from its
fastenings and tipped on edge Bed
clothing and curtains in every room OF
the house were set af1re.
Bolles was not even stunned by the
lightning. though it played all around
him.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22
COMING MAN OF BUSINESS
Long-Headed Youngster Who Bids
Fair to Graduate Into Rookie
Teller Class.

So many panes of glass in old Mr..
Viner's greenhouse had been broken
that he had at last offered reward of
10 shillings to anyone who should give
information as to the identity of the
latest offender The bait soon drew.
youngster called on Mr.. Viner and
informed him that lad named Archie
Thompson was the guilty party. He
received his reward, went away re-
joicing and the old gentleman forth
with wrote to the local schoolmaster,
demanding the production of the said
Archie Thompson, to make good the
damage he had done to his windows.
Next day the informer called again.
1.-THE schoolmaster sent me-" he
said briskly. 1--WE seen glazier and
he'll put in your glass for three
shillings. Here it is, and"
mot so fast, my lad said Mr.. vi
ner. "Have you come on behalf of
Archie Thompson"
well, yes, sir, in a way" said the
boy. Fact is" he continued, conf
dentially, I'm him! london Tit
Bits
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22
INDEPENDENCE
ON THE FARM
a3PLENDiD RESULTS FOLLOW
FARMING IN THE CANADIAN
WEST.
Americans in Canada Not Asked to
Forget That They Were Born
Americans.

Farm produce today is remunera-
tive, and this helps to make farm life
agreeable Those who are studying
the economies of the day tell us that
the strength of the nation lies in the
cultivation of the soil. Farming is no
longer a hand-to-mouth existence 1t
means independence, often af1uence,
but certainly independence.
Calling at farm house, near one of
the numerous thriving towns of AL
berta in Western Canada, the writer
was given a definition of 'indepen-
dence" that was accepted as quite
original. The broad acres of the farm
'er's land had crop-and a splendid
one, too, by the way-ripening for the
reapers' work. The evenness of the
crop, covering field after field, attract
ed attention, as did also the neatness
of the surroundings, the well-built sub
stantial story-and-a-half log house, and
the wellrounded sides of the cattle.
His broken English-he was French
"Canadian-was easily understandable
and pleasant to listen to. He had
come there from Montreal year ago,
had paid $40 an acre for the 320-acre
farm, with the little Improvement it
had. He had never farmed before, yet
his crop was excellent, giving evil
dence as to the quality OF the soil, and
the good Judgment that had been used
in its preparation And brains count
in farming as well as Draw" Asked
how he liked it there, he Strengthened
his broad shoulders, and with hand
routstretched towards the waving fields
of grain, this young French Canadian,
model of symmetrical build, replied:
BE gosh, yes, we like him-the
farmin'-well, don't we, Jeannette?"
as he smilingly turned to the young
wife standing near. She had accom-
panied him from Montreal to his far
west home, to assist him by her wifely
help and companionship, in making a
new home in this new land. Eyes, we
come here wan year ago, and we never
father, he KEEP de girls mill, an de
cardin' mill, an be gosh! he run de
cheese factor too. He work, an me
work, an us work tarn har', be gosh!
Us work for de farmer; well den,
'sometin' go not always wat you call
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22
Headache Splits Her Head.

Allentown, Pa.-Rupture of a blood
vessel in the brain, due to a violent
headache, caused the death here of
Mrs Estella Falconer, wife of Arthur
Falconer, aged twenty-nine years. She
had been suffering from headache for
two months, and, despite the most
skilled treatment, the malady grew
worse. She often complained that her
head would split. and she had pre-
dicted her death.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22
A Shipping Error.

The young duchess of Westminster,
wife of the richest pee in England,
recently gave birth to her third child,
daughter. Thus there is no heir to
the immense Grosvenor fortune, Earl
Grosvenor, the duchess second child,
having died at the age Of four.
Apropos of all this, rather cruel
story is being told in Newport about
Lady Ursula Grosvenor, the eight
year-old daughter of the young duch-
ess.
A friend, the story goes, called at
Eaton Hall, and as she sat in the
drawing-room, little Lady Ursula en-
tered.
"Oh, good afternoon she said.
gravely. Mamma can't see any one
today. She's upstairs with the new
baby. They sent her, you know, a girl
when she'd ordered a boy, and she's
so upset that she's quite ILL.,"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22
HOW A DOCTOR CURED SCALP
DISEASE

when I was ten or twelve years
old I had scalp disease, something
like scald head, though it wasn't that.
suffered for several months, and
most of my hair came out Finally
they had a doctor to see me and he
recommended the Cuticura Remedies.
They cured me in a few weeks. /
have used the Cuticura Remedies, also,
for q breaking out on my hands and
was benefited a great deal. I haven't
had any more trouble with the scalp
disease. Miss Jessie F. Buchanan,
r. F. D. 8, Hamilton, Ga, Jan. z, 1909"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22
TRAMP STOPS TRAIN
RIDES ON TOP OF THE EMPIRE
STATE EXPRESS.
Tower Man Gets Too Nosy With His
Eyes and Detects the Perlpatetic
Passenger on Top of the
Cars.

New York-Ralph Fariss of Reno,
New, stopped the Empire state ex
press. Better men than Mr.. Fariss
have tried to stop it and have failed
but Mr. Fariss rode on top of one oil
the cars instead of inside and that
was how he came to do it.
A tower man ten miles south of AL
bany signaled the train to halt and
he Immediately ran over to Robert
Humphrey, an inspector of the rail
roads private police force, who was
getting down from car step to see
what was the matter.
"a man on the roof of your third
Pullman" said the tower man. "They
spotted him passing the tower by the
bridge at Albany and telephoned
down."
While curious passengers poked
their heads out of vestibules and
asked questions of porters, Humphrey
went up on the top of the third car
and told young Mr.. Fariss, who was
lying fiat with his head bowed to
buck the wind. that he would have
to get down.
The young man from Reno did as
he was told, but when the inspector
ducked inside of the vestibule and
let down the trap, the engineer having
receiver a signal to go ahead mean
while, Fariss made a dash for the
heavy canvas accordion vestibule
which links two cars together and be
gan climbing like fly up the length
of the folds toward the car roof.
Humphrey got the car door open in
time to lean out and grip the agile
westerner by the foot. After that the
inspector brought him on to New
York, just where Fariss wanted to go
but Humphrey had him locked up at
the East Fi-ty-irst street station.
Fariss said that he had been rail
road brakeman in Reno. He had beat
en- his way from Reno to Albany with
out mishap, he said, until that tower
man at the bridge in Albany got toe
nosy with his eyes.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22

de- right, an de farmer he say de-
mean ting, be gosh! and tell us go to
well, anyway he tarn mad. Now"
and then he waved his hand again
towards the fields, II ave no bodder,
no cardin' mill, no girls mill, no cheese
when me want to, me can say to de
oder fellow you 60! Well, we
like him-the farmin'" And. that was
a good definition of independence.
Throughout a trip of several hun
dred miles in the agricultural district
of Western Canada, the writer found
the farmers In excellent spirits, an
optimistic feeling being prevalent
everywhere It will be interesting to
the thousands on the American side
of the line to know that their fela-
tives and friends are doing well there,
that they have made their home In a
country that stands up SO splendidly
under what has been trying conditions
In most Of the northwestern part Of
the farming districts of the continent.
With the exception of some portions
of Southern Alberta, and also por-
ton of Manitoba and Southern Sas-
katchewan the grain crops could be
described as fair, good and excellent.
The same drought that affected North
and South Dakota, Montana, Mime
sofa, Wisconsin and other of the
northern central states extended over
into q portion of Canada just men,
toned. But in these portions the
crops for the past four or five years
were splendid and the yields good.
The great province of Saskatchewan
has suffered less from drought in pro-
portion to her area under cultivation
than either Of the other provinces On
the other hand, instead Of the drought
beng confined very largely to the
south of the main line of the G. P. R.
it is to be found in patches right
through the center of northern Sas-
katchewan also. In spite of this, how
ever, Saskatchewan has a splendid
crop. A careful checking of the aver
ages of yield, with the acreages in the
different districts, gives an average
yield Of 1914 bushels to the acre.
In Southern Alberta one-fifth of the
winter wheat will not be cut, or has
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22
OWL ENTERS OPEN WINDOW
Wise Bird Eats at Supper Table, but
Suffers From Pain and Seeks
Drug Shop.

Portland, Ore-"Wise as an OWL
is an old saying, but the truth of tn,
axiom was never better illustrated
than in connection with the expert
ence with the bird of wisdom at the
Multnomah County Hillside farm
few days ago.
Seeming the absence of Nigh
Waterman Harry Thompson, a larg,
owl that had been prowling about tn,
place few through an open window
and lit on the supper table. After
filling up on a supply of edibies. Mr.
Owl was besieged with severe pains
Being naturally wise, he discovered
the drug room door open, and aftei
some difficulty succeeded in reaching
the apothecary apartment.
Assistant Waterman Thomas Car
ney, who is a good natured son OF
Erin, was much perturbed at the sight
of the unusual visitor.
"Hoot, boot, hoot," said Mr.. Owl
But Mr.. Carney could not understand
this language and began to swear il
Gaelic. "Hoot, boot, hoot," again sait
the owl.
Jaw, PLAT dye w-want; do We toikt
me for a Scotchman?" remarked Car
ney as he hurled pint flask of Kelly
juice at the feathered intruder. The
owl was finally subdued.
Little Dorothy Mahoney took charge
of the sick owl and, with careful
nursing, soon had the patient feeling
while allowing the owl to enjoy the
freedom of the porch, the wise birt
saw his chance and flew away, much
to the sorrow of his young benefactor
"Oh, well, it's just case Of an
other inpraten said Miss MahOnPY
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22
Bean in Appendix,

Bedford, Ind.-In performing an op
Grafton for appendicitis on Miss
Glenda Foster, daughter of J. B. Eos.
ter, the physicians, Drs. iceland,
Short and Simpson, were surprised to
find the real cause of her trouble to
he from a full-sized bean that had
found its way into the little sack. The
finding of an object as large as a
bean in the appendix is something
new TO the medical fraternity.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22
SERVING TWO Masters.

Can a man serve two masters ?"
exclaimed John M. Callahan, candi-
date for the Democratic nomination
for secretary of state, at a meeting
in Eagles hall the other night. II
say he cannot, and that reminds me Of
the answer l got from an Irish friend
of mine when l asked him the same
question.
kin a man serve two masters, is
at" says my irish friend. "Oi only
knowed wan man that could do ut, and
in the ind they sent him to jail fer
bigamy!" -Milwaukee Wisconsin.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22
BABY BROWNS IN JAR OF TEA
Vessel i'm Which the Accident Oc-
Cured Contained Only Five
Inches of Liquid.

Decatur, ul.-Falling into a jar of
iced tea, the eighteen-month-o daugh-
ter of Mr.. and Mrs. Noah Miller was
drowned on the Jacob Miller farm
near this place.
The Millers had been threshing oats
Little Ruth toddled out of the house
to the porch, where 10-gallon jar of
iced tea was standing The baby fell
in, head first, and was drowned in
FIVE inches of tea.
The child was not missed for sew
eral minutes and when found it was
dead.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22
Kent with Rarnum,s circus.

P. T. Barnum, the famous circus
man, once wrote: 81 have had the
Cuticura Remedies among the con-
tents of my medicine chest with my
shows for the last three seasons, and
can cheerfully certify that they were
very effective in every case which
called for their USE"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22
A LIKING for Hamlet"

do you like Hamlet?" asked the
hostess of her unlettered. if gushing.
guest.
Indeed I do" VS. the reply. II am
excessively fond of 1t, but I always pre-
fer a savory to sweet one
There was momentary confusion,
and then the hostess realized that the
admiration of the guest was of cul,
mary, not literary, character.
II gave her ham with an omelette
for breakfast next morning" said the
hostess, when telling the story
Scraps.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22

1 am now enjoying" Mrs. SARAH
LoUsIGNoNT, Ala S. Livingston Street.
Brookfeld, Mo.
The Change of Life is the most crit
cal period of woman's existence, and
neglect of health at this time invites
disease and pain.
Women everywhere should remem-
Der that there is no other remedy
known to medicine that will so sue
cessfully carry women through this
trying period as Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound, made from ma
tive roots and herbs.
For 80 years It has been curing wo-
men from the worst forms of female
ls-infammation, liberation, dis
placements, fbroid tumors, irregulari-
ties, periodic pains, backache, and
nervous prostration.
If you would like special advice
about your case write a cOnfden-
tial letter to Mrs. Pinkham, at
Lynn, Mass. Her advice is free,
and always helpful.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22
The Rioht Way.

William Muldoon, the noted trainer,
was talkin, apropos of the Jeffries-
Johnson fight, of training.
In training" he said, "the strictest
obedience is required. Whenever
think of the theory of training l think
of Dash, who, after Is years of mar
ried life, is one Of the best and hap
piest husbands in the world.
dash, l once said to him, well.
Dash, old man, how do you take mar
ried life?'
According to directions. he re-
Piled
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22
Poultry Thief a Snake.

Luray, Va.-Seeking to capture a
chief when he heard his hens squawk.
ing Justify the other night, Farmer
John T. Burner went to the poultry
house with double-barreled shotgun
and lantern. An investigation with
the lantern disclosed a seven.foot
blacksnake hiding under a hen-which
explained the recent loss of many
fowl and eggs. Burner dubbed the
snake to death after a vigorous bat
tie by lantern light.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22
Even the Children.

Ex-Governor Pennypacker, condemn
ing in his witty way the American di-
vorce evil, told, at a Philadelphia
luncheon, an appropriate story.
Even our children" he said, "are
becoming infected A Kensington
school teacher, examining little girl
in grammar, said:
What is the future of Il lover"
"a DIVORCE the child answered
promptly"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22
Then Ii Hammered.

What made you think he would
propose to me?"
why, when l refused him he said
he didn't care what became of him;
but perhaps he wasn't serious."-
Houston Post.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22

bly,. Marked improvement followed
the use of Doan's Kidney Pills In six
weeks l was well woman My friends
and relatives marvel at my recovery"
Remember the name-Doan's.
For sale by all Dealers so cents a
box. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22

invalid. I lay in bed
unable to move hand
or foot. My right
limb was swollen to
twice normal size. I
looked the picture of
death and my case
puzzled the doctors.
The kidney secretiOns
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22

Mr. Wise-It's a fine machine, but
have to employ a man who does moth
ing else but keep it in the repair.
Auto Agent-Well, if it furnishes
steady employment for one man, it's
a great deal better auto than those
that don't
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22

1t is absurd to assume things abon:
3ther people, to think that all th,.
world shares any emotion. any desire,
dislike. or affection.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22

NA0U wy 6eeOA w Wiz
time that wo men
may expect nature
to bring on them
the Change of Life:
I got a bottle Of
Lydia E. Pinkham'S
V e ge table Com
pound and it made
me feel much better,
and I have contin-
ued it's use. / am
very grateful to you
for the good health
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22
A MARVELLOUS RECOVERY.
How a Chronic Invalid Regained Per-
feet Health.

Mrs. Ray Trusner, 80 West Third
ST., New Albany, Ind, says: Kidney
disease had rendered me a chronic
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22
WOMEN
OF MIDDLE
AGE
Need Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound

Brookfeld, MO.-"Two years ago
was unable to do any kind of work and
only weighed 11s pounds. My trouble
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22
A Summer Resort.
Noah disembarked.

NOdH UISGH UdIk6U. ! n
"A combination of the mountains
and seashore!" he cried.
Herewith he resolved to advertise
the tour.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22

Mrs. Winslowfs Soothing Syrup.
For children teething softens the gums reduces in
ammation allays pain, wind collie 25c bottle.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22
Mere Men.

He-I dreamt last night that your
mother was i'll.
She-Brute. 1 heard you laugh in
your sleep-Life.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22
RattIer nPet" Bites

New York.-Charles Banich trified
with a pet rattlesnake and as a result
is in Bellevue hospital seriously pois
ored. In striking at mouse tempt
ingly held out by Banich, the snake
missed and buried its fangs in the
ran's firger. 1t is feared the bite
may rrove fatal
Barich brought the snake from
West Virginia ten months ago. Re
Gently be had its poison glands re.
moved and believed it to be harmless
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22
Important to Mothers

Examine carefully every bottle OF
CASTORIA, a safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that it
Bears the N <<Gzz
Signature of IGxHZz zzSI
In Use For Over 80 Years.
The Kind You Have Always Bought
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22

4 nan who is good because he has
never had a chance to be bad may be
wor.h OF respect, but he should not
attempt TO make capital of his virtue
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-09-22

The undertaken usually finishes all
he undertakes.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-10-28
Burden of Housework.

housekeeping experiment station.
where all manner of work and worry
saving devices for kitchen and house
hold will be thoroughly tried, is to be
established under the auspices of the
New Jersey State Federation of Won.
ems Clubs. 1t will be the second sta
ton OF its kind, the first having been
for three years in successful operation
in Connecticut, under the MANAGEMENT
of Charles Barnard, a retired play
wright, who wrote ''The County Fair"
1t IS the intention of the New Jer.
sey women to investigate every sort
of contrivance for lessening the BAR
dens Of housework. Dish scrapers, lot.
cleaners, dust rags, suction cleaners,
jelly makers, dough mixers, fireless
cookers, egg poachers and all the th,,u-
sand and one things Of the kind whlch
American ingenuity has devised end
put on the market will be put to the
severest tests before they are recon-
mended to housewives.
1t seems like very sensible and
useful thing to do. For millions of
women the woman question" is large
~ question of household work.
Whatever makes Homework really
easier will in its way be as great a
boon to humanity as automobiles or
flying machines
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-10-28
HIS HANDS CRACKED OPEN

II am man seventy years old. My
hands were very sore and cracked
open on the insides for over a year
with large sores. They would crack
open and bleed, itch, burn and ache
so that l could not sleep and could do
but little work. They were so bad
that could not dress myself in the
morning. They would bleed and the
blood dropped on the floor. I called
on two doctors. but they did me no
good. l could get nothing to do any
good till got the Cuticura Soap and
Cuticura Ointment. About year
ago my daughter got a cake of Cuti-
cura Soap and one box of Cuticura
Ointment and in one week from the
time I began to use them my hands
were all healed up and they have not
been a mite sore since. would not
be without the Cuticura Remedies.
"They also cured a bad sore on the
hand of one of my neighbours children,
and they think very highly of the Cuti-
cura Remedies. John W. Hasty, So Ef-
ingham, N. H., Mar. 5, and Apr. II, '09."