Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-12-03
WHEN TO MARRY.

WHEN TO MARRY.
Bailey. in the Britt Qowa) Tribune,
in giving advice, without money and
without price, to youthful spooners,
says:
"A raw boy without dollar. present
or prospective, sparkling a girl regular
and talking about marrying, is a spec
tacle for gods and men. He should be
reasoned with, and if he will not quit
it until he is able to support wife and
to know why he loves and the differ
ence between love and chickenpox, he
should be quarantined or put in a con-
vent erected for such cases.
The wise man of the Marshalltown
Times Republican goes after Bailey in
this fashion:
That's the way it looks to old man
Bailey now when the grasshopper feels
like ton of brick and the sound of
the grinders is low. The hardest thing
for an old has-been TO endure is the
sight of the ares and 'will-bes.' Mar
rage. who should marry. and when, is
like Lord Dumdreary's famous conun-
drum It's question you can't ans
wer. Many a green boy and girl who
married on six dollars and a sublime
carelessness of consequences are mid
die aged people today that the com
munity would not know how to get
along without; and some of those who
married with every pleasing prospect
before them, started for the devil or
the penitentiary through the divorce
courts If we had all the successful in
every business, trade and profession
under cross examination and squeezed
out of them precisely what they were
worth when they married, the Stats
tics would knock lot of us sidewise.
1t mostly seems to depend on the raw
material. The raw boy and the green
girl are problems far beyond the in
tellect of Bailey or even bigger men.
Of course, the impulse is TO catch them,
spank them and send them home. but
they wouldn't stay if you did They
are due on the farms, in the stores. the
factories and the business places where
we assume to be the whole thing to-
day. And pretty soon. pretty soon"
OUR OWN LAURA LANE JIBBEI.
This weeks contribution by Laura
is a poem We suspect she copied it
from another journal-for we have a
faint recollection it originally appeared
in the Detroit Free Press. We're go
ing to let Laura get away with just
this one. but if we are able to get the
goods on her weIl hold cut or her
next salary check. You will perceive,
and il grieves us much, that Laura has
temporarily abandoned her soft pedal
ing and fallen in with the anvil chorus.
Peruse:
THE CARD CLUB MEETS.
The card club met last Friday at the
home of~Mrs Brown.
understand that Mrs. Smith had on
a tailored gown;
Her husband had a raise in pay; or so
the women think.
How happy Mrs. Fox would be if Fox
would give up drink.
The prize was won by Mrs. Burr.
They've had another row.
It's understood that Mrs. Rich has left
her husband now.
OF all the children in the town the
wcrat-behaved are Browns,
But all they ever get by way of pun
ishment Is frowns.
If they belonged to any other member
you can bet
A warming with a slipper they would
very quickly get
Now what do you think May Watson
saw down town with Walter Page?
That bleached blonde Grace McPher-
son, who was once upon the stage
wonder what he sees
In thai loud person to admire. Why,
every one agrees
That she is old enough to be his moth
er, and it's said
She had a husband once, who may or
may not be dead.
Clara's engaged; you'd never guess the
man she's going to marry;
Is it that silly simpleton who once
called on our Carrie?
The card club met last Friday. Mrs.
Ferguson was there;
She wore a mop of phony curls that
didn't match her hair.
She's got another diamond ring. With
many, though It's true.
That diamonds come before you wed,
or else they never do
needn't mention any names, you
know just what I mean
Here 1 lost interest in the club, and
quickly left the scene.
SCOOPS ON OUR CORRESPONDENTS.
we. steal the following items from
our neighboring exchanges:
Billy Dickerson sawed wood for Don
Bodine Saturday.
Several neighbors helped Sandy
Bingham to haul his hogs to Pre-
emption on Tuesday.
Phil Allemang was a caller at Dr.
Meyers office at Coal Valley on Sun
dav He is taking treatment for a cut !