Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-03-02
LIGHT AND AIRY.
Necessary.

Necessary. n
'"The, operation will cost you three
dollars" b
"And it is necessary"
absolutely"
Cant l live unless it is per-
Probably, but | can not finish pay
ng for my new auto."-Houston Post.
His Opinion.
why do the current magazines
print so much poetry?'
Il can tell you.'
I'm listening"
Its Il scheme to force people to
cad the advertisements" kansas
City Journal.
Refined Procrastination.
81 must say that man annoys me by
lis extreme delicacy about going right
% the vitals of a matter
He unquestionably uses great deal
If red tape
"He doesn't even use red tape. He
Uses pink ribbon. '-Washington Star.
Could Boast a Little Himself.
kid. can lick YOU"
II amt Sayin' you can't"
AN my dad kin lick your dad"
'"Thats all right. My NAV can
'aise a mustache. an your'n cant!'-
Chicago Tribune.
The Best Kind.
IL wouldn't use that horse for hunt
ng if [ were you. He is entirely too
sensitive"
"Then he'll be all the quicker to take
/ observation-disclosures American.
Quick Returns.
$50 she sued him for breach Of prom
sep
yes" answered Miss Cayenne. I'm
afraid the get-rich- quick spirit is be-
coming very general. People don't
seem willing to wait for alimony."-
Star.
Money No Object.
II don't care anything about it my
self, for I'm no judge of such things"
said Mr. Gaswell, but my wife wants
ne to buy a rare old violin, and she
says they come high. Got any?"
I'VE certainly have" responded the
lealer. Here's one in this showcase.
genuine Stradvarius, that you can
rave for $1,000
"She said she thought they came
higher than that. Haven't you some
hat are a little-er-straddyva
han this ?'-Chicago Tribune.
Same End
"Whv is it that young couple can't
get along together"
Because they are too much in bar
nony."
chats a queer reason. How do you
make it OUT"
Because he married for money and
She married for alimony. "-Baltimore
American.
Same Result in Either Case.
'How high up are we now. Jerome: ~
Three hundred feet, sir
make it six.
But if we fall, sir?"
IF we fall the only difference Will
he the slight time it takes us TO cover
the extra 300 feet-and / don't think
we will be in position to fuss about
.hat."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
ParadoxicaI Conditions.
"Why didn't you vote that straight
Licket?'
because it was crooked
Almost Extinct.
II am told you have some rare old
china, Mrs. Grimley?"
"Well. it's n good deal rarer since
hired my latest girl Plain
Dealer.
Hopeless.
as your son doing well at college,"
II am afraid he is little slow at
knowledge"
Weak on mathematics?'
mo, he's all right on that sort "t
thing, but he doesn't know the dit
ference between a drop curve and an
inshoot. "-Houston Post.
A Peevish Patient.
"you are unreasonable" declared the
physician.
"Why 50. doc
You stuff yourself with forty kinds
of rich grub, and then kick because
Won have to take two kinds III medi-
cine. kansas City Journal.
Guessed It.
What do you suppose is the great
cst cause of divorce?
Marrying Lillian Russell. -ll"us-
ton Post.
Different Now.
"Why did they call her Henry Pen
ny, grandpa"
"rhcrc must have been 4 reason.
lad. but it is lost in the mists Of an
tiouity. No one today would suspect
that the hen was ever connected with
that humble coin.'-Kansas City Jour
nal.
Self -Victimized.
$50 you got that article you were
bidding on at the auction"
Eyes" answered Mrs. Snapper.
isn't it provoking" l was merely try
ing to run the price up on that other
woman. "-Washington Star.