The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1910-01-02
COMEDY OF
A SICK FRIEND

He came in very defantiy. with
set look on his face. IKE a man who
contemplates an unpleasant crisis In
his career and yet is trying to per-
suade himself that he doesn't care a
hang anyhow. And TO his surprise
his little wife ran right up and
kissed him.
Your slippers are by the side of
the Morris chair, John" she cried
dinner will be ready In a minute,"
And then fear frizzled him and
discontinue ,dished him and he
moodily regarded his slippered toes
and once more rehearsed the inge-
NOUS excuse about a sick friend
which he had framed up to deceive
his loving wife and to explain the
scandalousIy late hour and condi-
ton in which he had returned home
the night before.
"NowH she cried bringing in the
steak and onions). Now, John"
And up John got and took his
rightful place at the head OF the table
and soemnly cut the steak and
spooned the fried onions.
John" she began, last night"
His fourth thought: Here It
comes" And then aloud; 1T was a
sick friend" he mumbled with his
mouth full of fried onions),
John" she continued Gas though
she had not heard him), Mrs Rob
bins called last night"
CHI" he asked. with sigh of re-
lief, and he clutched with avidity at
this frail conversational straw
Robbins, Ell? All! Mrs. Thomas
Robbins! I remember Tommy when
he was a boy. I've sat up with him
In nearly all his sicknesses," he re-
marked with emotion land not with
out inspiration). And he's sat mp
with me! And so Mrs. Robbins
called. Ell? Well, we'll"
Yes" she said, And she had her
new silk petticoat on
'Huh!" said he. II do hate to see
a woman showing off,"
ooh, she wasn't showing off.
john" she cried. 81 couldn't help
but notice them, you know"
But she must have shown you
the petticoat!' grumbled John.
NO, she replied I heard it rus
tie, and when she sat down
looked"
And suddenly she became listless.
II see,' said John, that the Rus
SLAMS haven't met the Japanese fleet
yet"
OH" She remarked-very list
lessly.
Whereupon John applied himself
to his food stolldly, silently, biting
formally pointing each little finger
into the air as he handled his knife
and fork, blinking his ewes as he
drank his water and trying to make
himself believe that his dear little
wife was not looking at him accus-
ingly.
Did she look well in it?" he In
quired (Quite husky)
Who, John dear?" she asked, and
perhaps she sighed--the least faint
echo of sigh.
Mrs Robbins" he replied with
additional huskiness,
"Oh, fine!" she exclaimed (speak-
ing now with animation,) she
had on her gold watch and chain
too! Not half such a nice one as
mine, thought"
And you shall have new silk
dress too" cried John--the guilt
stricken John-the proud John.
And You won't stay out late to-
night, will you, john" she coaxed
him. Il was so worried last night"
"A sick friend" began John, mum
bling
Mrs. Stafford was in to-day" she
interrupted him.
His fifth thought:
'Tll bet that woman made Stat
ford tell her everything! That's She
last time I'll ever go out with hem
pecked mani"
And then aloud
Did she tell you?" hesitated
John.
She s,niIngly nodded and placed
the lobster salad on the table.
And did she tell you about the
policeman too?' insisted John. now
determined upon making clean
breast of 1t. Yes? And about the
cabman? And how he upset his ham
som because he smashed Reddy's
new plug hat? Yes? And after ali
this you go ahead and get nice din
ner ready for me fried onions and
lobster salad and never nag me,
and--and" And once again John
banged his fist upon the table.
while you're about it." he cried,
you just buy yourself hat and