Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-05-19
SHE KEEP
A SECRET
By EBERT I. BENTLEY
Copyright, 1910, by American Press
Association.
1--WE got the confoundedest wife you

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT IL CouNeyS Ito u1edL-
ing to me-"
THAT'S the reason l apply it to my
wife. She is beyond the pale Of defni-
ton
"Do you use the word ]opprobrious-
ly?"
"By no means. She's a Jim dandy"
"Oh. you've got something on your
understanding she has been doing!
Get it off and have done with it."
Fright you are. and when I've told
you you'll agree with me that con-
foundedest is the best word by which
to describe her. You know we live in
the country and I'm a commuter. My
monthly Communication ticket costs me
$24.5O. I have always been used to
carrying my ticket in my hat. It's
very convenient, you know. 1 place
it between the lining and the crown.
If I put it in my portemonnaie, which
I carry in my hip pocket when I'm
hurrying to my train loaded down with
the bundles which all commuters are
condemned to carry. l have a hard
time getting it out from under my
coat. If it is in my hat l can get at
it very easily. There's a ferry at the
city end of the route where the ticket
must be punched. Formerly COM
muters were only required to show
their tickets. and we used to just lift
u hats to the gateman, and he
could see the ticket. 1t was comical
to see a long line Of passengers taking
off their hats politely to the gateman.
But the practice must have concealed
some skullduggery, for the officers
of the line stopped it. and now we all
must have our tickets punched.
Anyway, l always carry my ticket
in my hat. Well, one morning when I
went to the city I felt for my commu-
tation ticket. and it was gone. 1t was
one I'd just Bought. and it's loss in
volved nearly ST.. Thinking l might
have put it in one of my pockets. l
ranSacked them all. 1t wasn't in any
of them. l searched the floor, but
there was nothing there. At last I
gave it up and paid my fare.
"My wife is a very economical wo-
man and considers me the perfection
Of carelessness. I knew if I told her of
my loss she would scold me for both
waStefulness and carelessnes. l made
up my mind to get on the best I could
for awhile. paying my fare out of the
loose change l carried till the end of
the month. when l would buy a new
ticket. 1t was no use. 4. few morn
ings after my loss as I was going out
my wife gave me the customary kiss.
at the same time handing me my hat.
She looked inside and. not seeing the
ticket, felt for it.
"'Nhy, dear she exclaimed, Il
thought you always carried your COM
mutation ticket in your hat
81 was obliged to confess l had lost
it. NV wife said: 4 told you so. If you
had kept it in your pocketbook. as L
always advised you to do. you wouldn't
have lost it. There's $24 gone, enough
to buy me Il spring hat with three big
ostrich feathers
II hurried away, ostensibly to catch
the train. but really to escape a scold-
ing. and since it would be cheaper to
commute ever with the loss Of four
days than to pay single fares l bought
a new ticket. l kept it in my pocket
book in my hip pocket with a lot Of
memoranda. cards. etc.. my cash for
daily expenses being in my vest pock-
ct. had no trouble for a month, when
I bought another ticket. On the 4th Of
the month when l was getting ready
to go to the city I clapped my hand to
my hip to make sure my ticket was
there, and. behold, portemonnaie. tick
ct and all were gone. Somebody must
have picked my pocket.
II thought my wife would cry. Eff
ty dollars gone in two MONTHS she
moaned. We're going right down into
the p%oorhouse. Why will you be so
careless?'
eff I'd kept it in my hat l snap
ped. it would not have been lost. l
put it where you told me to put it. and
there you are
eco and buy another one.' she said.
we can't afford to have you spending
forty or fifty dollars a month to save
$24.'
swell. to make a long story short, in
six months l lost five Communication
tickets. What had brought about such
bad luck l couldn't tell. I'd committed
for seven years and never before lost
a ticket. Thinking some one might be
robbing me-some of the servants-I
told my wife when / lost the last tick
ct that l was going to put a detective
in the house.
"'My dear she replied. If l say
something to you will you scold me?'
"'Certainly not. pet: fire away
"'Well. I've been robbing you of
your communication tickets
81 nearly fell in a faint.
"'You know Tom Edwards, financial
man for B. & Co. Well. Tom gave me
a tip on some stock that was going to
be "cornered." shorts squeezed" and
all that. He said If I'd give him 500
he'd put me in with the pool. But /
must keep the secret. I hadn't the
money. but I raised it, a bit here and