The Holbrook news., 1910-02-11
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 q am looking for a husband" How would I do?" But you are marriedT "All husbands are"-Houston Post
 First Newporter-Was it an inform al dinner? Second Newporter-Very. The flowers only cost s2.5OO.-Puck.
 Since Maud's engagement how bright and happy she looks" Yes: match lights up girls face. Life.
 Mrs. Cheatham-I believe I shall have to give up bridge. Miss Frank Really? Wasn't the game worth the scandal l?-Puck.
 Nature plans well for manhind's needs" 'I should say so. What could be more convenient than ears to hook spectacles over?"
 Old Lady Gin a shoe shop)-Have you felt slippers? Small Boy Assist ant (solemnly)-Yes, ma'am; many a me.--Comic Cuts.
 Was it your wife who called you up this morning." No; that was aunt. It was my wife who called me down" Baltimore American.
 Solemn Man-Do you hear the clock slowly ticking? Don't you know what day it is ever bringing nearer? Cheer full Man-Yes. payday.
 Professor-Tve come to see your col lection of curios. Merchs.nt-Pardon. If introduce. first of all my wife and daughter.-Megendo Blaetter.
 Opportunity calls just as often as in years gone by" But with us. all huddled up In flats. opportunity is liable to whistle up the wrong tube"
 Minister-And the childs name. madam? Mother (1rmly)-Name him Frederick Robert Cook Peary Smith. I'm not going to take any chances Puck.
 Barber (to customer, whom he's cut up)-Would you mind going out the back way? So many people might see you in the main street-Meggendo Blatter
 Suitor (on pended knee)-See. in me. my love, your most humble and devoted servant Shelf this is your first place. I'll engage you for life.- Lustige Blatter.
 Arctic Explorer-During our whole two years in the polar region we couldn't wash ourselves once Enfant Terrible-Mamma, can't we move Welt.
 will that young man ever go home?" demanded the irritated head of the house. T guess so. father" re- piled the mater familias. He. always has."AWashington Herald. a4
 Professors Wife (to cook)-My hus- band has received a call to Heidelberg. Will you go with us? Cook-I feel highly honored. madam but I cannot accept the call.-Lustige Welt.
 Poet-When I finished that poem I was completely exhausted Editor I can sympathize with you, old man. I was in the same condition when I finished reading it.-Philadelphia Rec ord
 He (nervously) )-Er-er-M Margaret -er-there's something has been trembling on my lips for the last two months. She-Yes, so I see. Why don't you shave 1t off?-Princeton Tiger.
 You women never keep posted on current events" Why. yes we do. I've been reading all about the finding of the pole But, John?" Well. what?" How did the pole happen to be ?"-Public Ledger.
 Say, Casey, it's har-red wurrker ye are How many hods uv mortar hev ye carried up that ladder to-day?" Casey-Hush, man. I'm fooling the boss. I've carried the same hod up and down all day. and he thinks I'm wurkin."
 Senior Partner-Keep a sharp eye on Holdfast I'm afraid he's robbing the firm. Junior Partner-Eh? Is Ee living extravagantly? Senior Partner Well, passed him in the street yes terday, and he was smoking cigar that didn't smell at all bad.-Tit-Bits.
 q must warn you. dearest" he said. that after we are married you will very likely find me inclined to be ar oitrary and dictatorial in my man. ler::" 'No matter" she replied. cheer fully, q won't pay the slightest at- ;ention to what you say."-Presbyte ian Standard.
 Has that feller Pinkley returned nome yet?" Nope. He's been gone wo years now, and nobody knows blessed thing about him." Well. termed if I shouldn't think you'd he fraid he'd oomo homo some day and .laim he found the South Pole."- Cleveland Plain Dealer.
 One of the wittiest of Parisians, in friends box at the opera, was listen ng to 'Thais," or rather trying to do o, for his hostess talked necessarily md deadened the music with her shrill -oice. At the end of the opera she
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