The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-04-26

crockodilian tail striking out at him
and he with gun that isn't loaded-why-
why
any trouble In thinking of suitable
phrase to use there" I said placidly. 1.-The
foolkiller-"
well. my adorably enchanting friend
merely said, Is that SOP" replied the
mere man, land / wanted well-er-she
is really very pretty, but,
ss'Neyer mind, 'f1saidrI. 'r'theres some
thing to be said in her favor after all.
Perhaps she had never heard of a croco-
die hunt before, and as she didn't speak
crocodile she hid her ignorance behind
kind and protecting stock phrase, and
thereby shed no tears which might have
been mistaken as sympathetic to the croc-
odile when they were really meant for
the hunter"
We'll. of course. when you look at it
that way" said the mere man, joining
In my jocular mood, lat least the girl
has sympathy plus to her credit"
AN excellent thing in woman" I sug-
gested, according to mans metric sys-
tenn"
We'll, after all I'd rather for her not
TO have said anything" was the reply.
why didn't she look sympathetic, mere
1y, without saying that inane. silly, non
sensical rs that 500 again Ugh 1t made
me SILVER, lust / felt myself slipping
into the laws or 1aath and no outstretcbed
hand to save mew
But my rash friend pleaded. con
slider the gamut of emotions a poor girl
passes through when she hears such a
thrilling story as you told Have you con-
sidered what q consummate actress It
woulc take to express such delicate
shades of feeling by the mere dropping of
an eyebrow, or the curl of a lip or the
tilt of the nose, unassisted by the rising
or falling infection of the voice? Why.
Mrs. Fisze or Julia Marlowe, or even
the Divine Sarah could scarcely meas
ure up to the standard
well, the set of stock phases the av-
erage woman INDUCES in" said the mere
man haughtily. ''relegate one to a very
meagre position in her estimation I think
Pretty much the same as If she asked why
in heavens name you wear a red cravat
with tan shoes. or if you think Botti-
celli couture is more becoming to her
than the swirl"
II think one is in precisely the same
position when invited to view the new
baby of a friend" I suggested trying to
change the subject from the poor mis-
guided girl whom he was slanderng. "You
receive an invitation to come for a first
peep at the youngster. and all the while
you are vowing you will not say the trite
things that for decades people have said
about babies. Cute darling cunningS
'precious'-you remorsefully Danish from
your vocabulary. You declare that you
will not tell Molly that the baby has
her nose and Toms eyes and that you
see strong family resemblance to
maiden aunt. or an ancestor of her moth
er's who came over in the Norman Con-
quest. All these and much more you
swear Won will not do. and having sworn
seize your llr''hralla. pin on your bonnet
and sally FORTH
zone ought to he able to think of some
thing new and original to say about
babies said the mere man haughtiy;
there are so many of them
But you don't" 7 replied. you find
yourself without ammunition You fioun-
der; you stutter; you wonder what on
earth to say that is clever Finally it
comes
Why how handsome the baby really
is as If some one had denied it. but do
you know, Molly. I don't see the slightest
resemblance to either you or Tom"
There. now, you've gone and done it,.
You wish you were dead, you wish you
had died when you were baby your
self. Heavens II only you had stuck to
the old stock phrases of our mothers and
our grandmothers, and told the young
mother that the baby was a beauty and
lust like her. But alas Now 1t matters
not how you may hereafter play the
fairy godmother; matters not what beau
tiful hand-embroidered bibs you send the
baby; matters not how many sweet
things you say and, do, you will never be
the same person to that mother again.
"Humph." gpowled the mere man. as he
saw that had cornered him at his own
game.
sometimes it is far better to indulge
in-'Perfectly lovely, rs that So? and
Not at ALL and such worn phrases. my
friend I suggested, "and be certain of
your ground. than to be brilliant and
eminently sulphitic"