The Holbrook news., 1910-04-15

my husband and I are not on speak
 ing terms. Chicago Record-Herald
 Visitor-What became of that other
 windmill that was here last year? Ma
 tive-There was only enough wind for
 one, so we took it down-Boston Tran
 script.
 Dorella-I take a long walk every
 morning for my complexion. Mordelle
 Why, I thought there was a drug
 store just around the corner-Chicago
 Daily News.
 She-Short stories seem quite the thing just now. He-I should say so.
 Nearly every fellow I meet stops and
 tells me how short he is.-Boston
 Transcript
 She-Some day I want to show you our family tree. He Hooking at her admiringly)-I should like to see it. I am sure it must be a peach.-Somer- vile Journal
 ''Is Browns place in history secure?" Secure! I should think it is. Six men have already made affidavits to prove that he doesn't deserve it''-De- troit Free Press.
 Wont you try to love me?" he sighed. T have tried" she replied, kindly but firmly. ..Ms, rich aunt. has just tfied. gsz cq@ .sT7 -5<-e-1se,- dear. will t. again"
 I'd like to get on some big New York newspaper" What could you do on a New York newspaper" Well, believe I could write the uncon- frmed rumors. ."-Pittsburg Post.
 Belle-How silly mem act when they propose! Why, my husband acted like a perfect fool. Nelle1That's what everybody thought when your engage ment was announced-Cleveland Leader.
 "When I returned from our poker party last night my wife just looked at me; not word was spoken" My wife looked at me, too. and I don't believe that word was unspoken."- Houston Post.
 That is a hallucination you have about possessing weak heart. Three weeks treatment with me will dissi- pate all of your fears" "Dissipate my fears? Gee, doc, that's how got my weak heart. .'-St. Louis Star.
 ..Old Moneybags is afraid that prince he bought for his daughter is bogus ,ne." Why so?'' When it came to settling up he asked for the princes lebts, and the fellow told him he hadn't any"-Baltimore American.
 Elsa-Oh, mamma, my bread and butter has fallen butter side down gain! Mother (to her governess)- Hiss Smith, must ask you to be more areful to butter the child's bread on he right -Meggendorfer Blatter.
 Here" said the editor, "are a num- er of directions from outsiders as the est way to run a newspaper. See hat they are all carried out" And the flee boy, gathering them all into lrge waste basket, did so.-Green Bag.
 You say it was your double that tole the chickens?" 'Yessuh." You now I gave you thirty days. once for hicken stealing" "Ah remembah, uh." Well, this time you get sixty. hats the courts double. le."-Philadel- hia Ledger.
 Couple of fine girls. ain't they? me of 'em is fine singer, and the ther one can cook" ''Yes, old man. ut there's tragedy in your home. he one who sings thinks she can ook, and the one who cooks thinks le can sing."-Cleveland Leader. How do you suppose she manages keep up appearances on her hus- and's income?" What is her hus- and's income?" "I don't know, but, course, it can't be as big as it would ave to be if they could afford to live
 they do."-Chicago Record-Herald. Friendly dear girl, you have ought all this wretchedness on your. If. What made you want to marry ch an unattractive, disreputable fel- W as this spendthrift lord? Titled fife (sobbing)-I didn't want to mar
 him, but papa got him so cheap uldn't resist such bargain.-Balti. pre- American