The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1910-01-31

must not run after false god
desses such as suffragettes, or go
around serving coffee 10 the voters
on election day. Remember that is
their funeral, that the world is bright
and beckons you. l attribute my sue
cess as a rabbit hunter to my broad
mindedness.
How we'll l remember when !. as
a son of the Old Dominion, was called
upon in Texas 10 show how broad and
liberal We're my views. Owing to an
unfortunate streak of Skillitt luck,
had 10 take speedy work-helping a
sheriff inforce the laws and put down
crime That Texas Legislature passed
law which provided that a saloon
could not be located in one hundred
yards of a church. When that law
went into effect there was poor
widow running a saloon right by a
church. and then 1 looked over at
the dame from Dumbarton 'Whst did
(; do? Why l took the side o the
| widow and gave the church three
days to move. 1 merely cite tits to
/ show what L mean by being broad
minded, liberal progressive AMI all
! such things as that.
One Bouquet for Nish.
"'Wo must not raise a race OF
: pysmiea and mollycoddles. AS well
r as love these little Skilltt boys
standing around me l would rather
see them grow up in Ignorance, like
old Henderson over there, than 10 have
them believe that a dancing, erman.
leading butterfly is better I'll The
man who makes his living by yorkine
behind bar. [ want them T. forget
about the past--about Pc lhontas
throwing her fragile form around John
Ttfn
fair as in Hennerracker. They are
reflected in the face of my devoted
wife. and even in mine. but from q
different reason. Let us pass up So
/ ciety. Let US stop all this fitting and
flirting and four-fushing. Let us quit
: trying to break into society by the
charity short cut. Let us harpoon the
dandies and encourage the boys on
the farm. Let US have scientific So
ciety. Let us cut out novel reading
and chicken salad and shoulder the
burden, and then we can make old
Hennerracker the Eden of the earth.
Society leads TO divorce. The man
who dances all night can't pillow a
straight line in the morning. The
man who plays cards with women
can't round UP rabbits. and that sissi-
fled man who drinks tea can't sit in
with honest oyster suckers
There was a whole lot more just
like that. and it made them old fami-
lies sit up and take notice, only most
of them We're still standing. They APP
plauded me, and the Dumbarton widow
came up and gave me her hand as a
guarantee of good faith. She said
she would not dance any more, that
she would try TO live a more serious
life. and when she acted so white
about it told her TO step aside and
have drink. She couldn't be any
more broad minded than me, and /
don't think she was half so thirsty.
Seeing the Widow.
When midnight came Nish said
we'd have TO stop the revelry, be-
cause it was sunday, and old man Hem
derson said he thought ii was time,
too, for all the goods had given out
except what your Uncle Dudley had
saved for an eye-opener. When they
all started to leave they came By and
shook hands. and said 1t was most
delightful party, throwing more ad-
iectives at me than I've got chillun.
Among the last TO leave was the
widow. | put her in the buggy. turned
the mule around. and saw her gtarr
down the hill. AS she turned she
hollered, Good by, Colonel SktIlitt,
may your parties never end
II Went back in the house, told the
little Skillitts 10 git 10 bed. and then
told Nish 70 fetch me something 10
eat. Parties may be AL right for
Inollycoddles. but men like BIN Ekillitt
need solid food Get my speech in
right. for al the next meeting these
social Hennerrackerftes are going 10
offer me for membership In the
Smther's Precinct Hail Of Fame
Things arc coming my way at iagt-
the funny part % III being that ] ssnl
going 10 get glory In d dress suit,
inc pants or which pinch me under The
arm and - short in the iefi sleeve.
But glory in Hcnnerraeker III glOrf.
and II don't come dawa the hi!I "
everybody every Gay"