Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1910-08-24
A QUEER
TOURNAMENT
By ANDREW c. EWING
Copyright. 1910. by American Press
Association.
By ANDREW c. EWING

and your chum. Mr.. Warren. are to-
gether you say all sorts of mean things
to each other. but l don't see that
either of you gets angry"
''Oh. we understand each other"
81 wonder if Sadie and / could do
that"
mo, you couldn't without quarrel
ing"
Miss Ashby was silent for a moment.
then said. I'm going to try"
I'll bet you a pound of candy
against cigar that you quarrel"
"I'll take the bet"
1t was agreed between US that the
two girls should have a talking tourna-
ment while they played game Of ten
mis-, Dick Warren to furnish remarks
for Miss Blanchard. to be thrown in
occasionally. and | to do the same for
Miss Ashby. Umpires were appointed,
and we all met by appointment at the
! court
We permitted the girls to play for
awhile without furnishing any re-
marks, during which time they said
what they considered very trying
| things to each other. laughing all the
while and congratulating themselves
on their ability to maintain good hu-
NOR After the first set had been play
ed Dick and |. each standing by the
| girl he was to talk through. began to
put in an occasional word. producing
the following bits of dialogue:
You give me another ball like that"
said Miss Ashby, land I'll swipe you
with my racket"
Miss Blanchard only smiled.
Now you're showing your rhinoc-
eros tusk." pursued Miss Ashby.
Miss Warren ceased TO smile. In
deed. she looked very sober. The tooth
referred to was a blemish to her beau
| ty Dick made her retort-
That remark was one of your own
You weren't told to say it at all. l
think it real mean of you
"Deucer cried Miss Ashby at my
suggestion. claiming 10 points more
than she was entitled to.
You know very we'll it's 30-4O.
What do you want to grab points like
that forp'
''lf you knew" retorted the other.
what a mad looking thing you were
when you said that you'd put your
head to soak"
Miss Blanchard tried to laugh. but
was too sensitive to laugh at a re-
mark which was untrue
! II say, Clara" she said when her
opponent failed to take a ball she
served. IF you'd stop looking sweet at
Mr.. Martindale you'd play a better
game. Everybody knows what you're
up to in that direction"
Dick scored one in putting that re-
mark into Miss Blanchard's mouth.
Miss Ashby threw down her racket.
Il don't care" she said. cit doesn't
make any difference whether you were
prompted to say that or not: you had
no right to say it." Her face was fiery
red. and her eyes were swapping.
Miss Blanchard had not got over the
remark about her tusk and seemed to
take malicious pleasure in saying
what Dick told her to say. sometimes
breaking into short bits of irritating
laughter
Sadie. if you don't stop that gig
Cling you'll drive me crazy" / made
Miss Ashby remark
"Oh. don't be silly! You're making a
poor show of yourself You should
have brought a handglass
You'd better have brought one
yourself" retorted Miss Ashby. IF
you had you'd have kept your tusk
hidden"
Miss Blanchard dropped her racket
and strobe off the field.
Il didn't suppose she said hotIy,
that this was TO be tournament of
insults"
Miss Ashby followed her. walking
erect and with great hauteur. "I think
you two men had better finish it." she
said
Done" exclaimed both Dick and 7
and. picking up the rackets. we began
to play and to chaff. We both have
physical defects and did not refrain
from delicate mention of them.
Now I'm going to take you in the
bald spot on your forehead" from
Dick
And I'll knock one of those spin-
die pins from under you Forty-thir-
ty."
Thirty-forty. you mean. Pity your
first baby lessons were In lying"
| You know very well you've Just out
OF jail for perjury"
Now I'm going to put ball between
those bow legs Of yours. I could throw
a barrel between 'em"
(which eye are you looking at me
with-the upper or the iowerY'
When we had sent these delicate
compliments for awhile we threw our
arms around each other and kissed,
after the European fashion. on both
cheeks. This we did to show our su-
periority in the matter of good nature
to the girls. The umpires decided that