davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The enterprise-recorder. (Madison, Fla.) 1908-1933, 1910-08-18
Carrying His Audience With Him

Nobody was more witty or more bit
ter than Lord Marlborough. A young
lawyer trembling with fear, rose to
make his first speech, and began; MY
lord, my unfortunate client My
lord, my unfortunate client My
lord" Go on. sir, go onl" said Lord
Peterborough, ''as far as you have pro-
ceeded hitherto the court is entirely
with YOU"
The enterprise-recorder. (Madison, Fla.) 1908-1933, 1910-08-18
CosT OF sPoNTANEITY.

Il want the ofice. of course said
the aspiring statesman, "but not un-
less I am the peoples choice"
1--WE can fix that, too said MS
Icampaign- manager; "only you know
ITS a good deal more expensive to be
the peoples choice than 1t is to go
IN as the compromise candidate. y
Chicago Tribune.
The enterprise-recorder. (Madison, Fla.) 1908-1933, 1910-08-18
ALL ALIKE.

"There's an awful lot OF sameness
about life."
"Oh, cheer up. Read some jokes"
VI have just been reading some.
That is what prompted my first re-
mark. Louisville Courier-Journal.
The enterprise-recorder. (Madison, Fla.) 1908-1933, 1910-08-18
FOOLISH QUESTIONS.

N "Pop.", ll'.l n.t~.l.,t% fif
~ "Yes, my SOM"
"wil you please tell me some
ithing?"
"What is 1t, my boy?"
why, when you scratch your race
Il leaves a mark, and when you
scratch your head It doesn't2"--Yon'
kers Statesman.
The enterprise-recorder. (Madison, Fla.) 1908-1933, 1910-08-18
THE LATEST WAY.

Ella-"Bella always wants to do
aomething out of the ordinary"
Stella-"That's so; when she heard
about a couple getting married by
Telephone she decided that she would
be married by wireless. New
York Press. -
The enterprise-recorder. (Madison, Fla.) 1908-1933, 1910-08-18
Quantity and Quality.

Teacher-Wnlie, have you whis-
pered today without permiesion2
Wtllie-Yes, wunst,
Teacher - Johnnie. should Willie
have said "wunst?"
Johnnie (triumphantly)-No, maam,
he should have said twist
The enterprise-recorder. (Madison, Fla.) 1908-1933, 1910-08-18
NO MUDLARR.

"Don't you like to get close to ma
ture in the spring."
dwell / don't care to walk out any
further than the sidewalks run. -
Louisville Courier-Journal.
The enterprise-recorder. (Madison, Fla.) 1908-1933, 1910-08-18

Mrs. Henpeck-"They say that
women do all the taking, but / no.
tice in a wedding ceremony the man
has as much to say as the woman"
4 Mr.. Henpeck-"Yes; but it usually
stops right there"
The enterprise-recorder. (Madison, Fla.) 1908-1933, 1910-08-18
WHEN LADIES VOTE.

"My dear madam, don't you realize
that repeating is a serious offense?"
Judge, had to do it. Both can
didates are in my set couldn't pos
sibly discriminate. Louisville Cour-
ier-Journal.
The enterprise-recorder. (Madison, Fla.) 1908-1933, 1910-08-18
Literary Note.

do you think that poets, should
never marry?"
81 don't know about that. But they
should be very careful about compos-
ing love letters unless they intend to-
The enterprise-recorder. (Madison, Fla.) 1908-1933, 1910-08-18
AMENDED.

The dourt-"You will swear that
the prisoner stole your umbrella?"
The Plaintiff-"Your Honor, will
swear that he stole the umbrella
was carrying. Cleveland Leader.
The enterprise-recorder. (Madison, Fla.) 1908-1933, 1910-08-18
Not His Fault,

"oratory is a gift, not an acquire
ment," said the proud politician, as
he sat down after an hour harangue.
81 understand" said the matuer-of-
fact chairman. Were not blamin'
you. You done the best you could" g..
The enterprise-recorder. (Madison, Fla.) 1908-1933, 1910-08-18

II black could not be made to look
like white, toasted cheese would not
have SO much drawing power toward
the mouse trap.
The enterprise-recorder. (Madison, Fla.) 1908-1933, 1910-08-18

Sometimes a girl preteuds 70 whts-
tie for the purpose Of talling-a young
mans attention TO the lovely pucker
she can get ON her lips. u ffsJ
The enterprise-recorder. (Madison, Fla.) 1908-1933, 1910-08-18
For HRADAcHE-HicIp., CAPUDINE

whether IRON Colds, Heat, Stomach o.
Nervous Trout les, Capudine viii relieve you
ately, Try t. ioc.. 26c., and 80 cenH at dful
The enterprise-recorder. (Madison, Fla.) 1908-1933, 1910-08-18

By sspatiept loving endurance Of
annoyance are we preparing our
selves gradually for the discipline of
trials.-E. NJ. Goulburn.
The enterprise-recorder. (Madison, Fla.) 1908-1933, 1910-08-18
Shake Into Your Shoes

Aliens Foot-Ease, the Antiseptic Powder.
IL makes tight or new shoes feel easy, IL
is certain cure for sweating, callous ana
Break in new shoes. Sold by all Druggists,
CSC. Trial package mailed FREE. Address
Allen S, Olmsted, lie Roy, N. Y.
The enterprise-recorder. (Madison, Fla.) 1908-1933, 1910-08-18
Az Rehearsal.

Fan--what happens when the bases
are full?
Mana discord.-Stanford Univer-
sity Chaparral. n
The enterprise-recorder. (Madison, Fla.) 1908-1933, 1910-08-18
KNEW HIS PLACE.

Are you the head of the family?'
"No, I'm only the sub-head. New
York Press.
The enterprise-recorder. (Madison, Fla.) 1908-1933, 1910-08-18

Relieved BY Murine Rye Remedy I Try
Murine For Your Eye Troubles. rou Will
Like Murine. It 9oothes. Soc. at Your
Druggists Write For Eye Books. Free
Murine Eye Remedy Co.. Chicago.
The enterprise-recorder. (Madison, Fla.) 1908-1933, 1910-08-18

Mira Windows Soothing Syrup FOR Chfldrsn
teething, softens thegums, reduce Gnnammn-
don, Allays pain, cures WIND COLO, Aocs oottis
The enterprise-recorder. (Madison, Fla.) 1908-1933, 1910-08-18
Generosity,

IT never deny my wife a wish"
Indeed? f.i - cst
mo; let her wish. 1t doesn't cost
anything. Life. 81, go
The enterprise-recorder. (Madison, Fla.) 1908-1933, 1910-08-18

Or. Pierce's Pellets, small, sugar
coated, easy TO take as candy, regulate
and invigorate stomach, liver and bow
els and cure constipation.
The enterprise-recorder. (Madison, Fla.) 1908-1933, 1910-08-18

Many budding genius has devel-
oped into a blooming idiot.
The enterprise-recorder. (Madison, Fla.) 1908-1933, 1910-08-18

Tips you get are almost as worth
less as those you give.
The enterprise-recorder. (Madison, Fla.) 1908-1933, 1910-08-18
vor COLDS ana GRIP

Hicks CAPUDINH Is the best remedy-re-
lieyes the aching and feverishness- secures the
Cold and restores normal conditions. It's
liQuid-effects immediately. locr, 2ec and soc
At drug storeA ~
The enterprise-recorder. (Madison, Fla.) 1908-1933, 1910-08-18
THE WORLD MOVES

Ia times gone by when we'd convey
tasks sheer hopelessness, we'd say,
'Yoh can't do that--no use to try
Not any more than you can 1y."
But that old phrase we've left behind,
RS useless now; we've got to find
Some new comparison, by iing
for man.Aight is a common thing.
"a Boston Transcript.
The enterprise-recorder. (Madison, Fla.) 1908-1933, 1910-08-18
A PoLIcEMAN's EXPERIENCE.
Suffered for Years From Chronic Kid.
ney Trouble

Walter J. Stanton, 1889 Pear St.,
Camden, N. J., saws: Kidney trnnhla
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1910-11-21
Defends Paper Boxes.

To the Editor of the Evening Star:
/ note in your evening edition that
you write about short measures. l do
not question in the majority of cases
it holds good. but in reference to ice
cream boxes it does not follow, for the
that while it is true that ice
cream boxes used to hold from one to
two ounces short in water the confec-
TONERS invariably filed the boxes to
the very limit of capacity-so full, in
fact, it was impossible to close the
boxes n was the principal cause OF
doing away with the tape handles, be-
cause they were in the way on account
OF overilling the boxes. / have had
over twenty years experience in the
folding box business and 1 do not be-
lieve that even l per cent. of the retail
ice ream dealers gave less than a full
quart and the majority gave over a
quart. For the last two seasons how
ever, the boxes are made on the new
standard, holding thirty-two ounces fol-
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1910-11-21
THE MEXICAN TROUBLES.

~ DVICES from Mexico regarding the revolutionary trouble arc
f\ conflicting, as such advices always are on such occasions
When Portugal began its revolution the outside world got
conflicting information through different sources of what was going
on until the revolution was fairly accomplished. Whether there
really is a revolutionary movement in Mexico formidable enough to
shake the government is not definitely known. One point seems
clear, however, that the disorders in Mexico are not of an
un-American character, although the initiative seems to have been
taken on account of the lynching of a Mexican criminal IN Texas.
Many Mexcans, disconnected with their government, have been
living in Texas and have been active in carrying out revolutionary
projects. The revolutionary leader Madero has made his head
quarters in Texas, from whence arms and ammunition have been
sent across the border. Our government has been slow, as usual,
to act to prevent the use of our soil in the attempt to overthrow
the Mexican government. President Daz has been a stanch friend
of the United States, which is under obligations to him for his
efforts in preserving good feeling between the two republics and
in giving aid and encouragement to American enterprise in Mexico
IT was due to the Daz government that we should have patroIed
the Rio Grande more carefully to prevent invasion of Mexico by
revolutionary forces. Madero should have been arrested.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1910-11-21
GOVERNORS DAY AT TRENTON.

~ OVERNORS day at Trenton tomorrow will bring together
MI the usual concOurse of political gossipmongers, with a
sprinkling of legislatorselect. Governor Fort will be a rank
outsider so far as the political business of the day is concerned,
such as the organization Of the new Legislature, the distribution
of the legislative patronage, the senatorship and the new governors
appointments. 1t is long since Governors day meant anything more
TO Democrats than that of witnessing the conferences of the Repub-
licans in power, their dividing up of the spois, the fixing of
states anu quarreling over the offices and the emoluments. There
has always been a hungry crowd at the State House on Tuesdays
for two months prior to the assembling the Legislature, and now
that there is a Democratic crowd there is no greater number and no
greater hunger than there was before. These weekly gatherings
may not have any real Importance, but they afford material to the
newspaper special writer's skilled in giving to airy nothings a local
habitation and a name. But tomorrow being Governors day the
query may be put: "What Governor, the departing or the
incoming one"
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1910-11-21
yird,cat,or for senator owen

vindication for senator Owen.
To Editor of Evening Star:
q On October ~ there appeared in your
an editorial entitled: "a ques-
ton of senatorial honor" l assume
that you would not willingly publish a
false statement about anyone, and /
assume, therefore, that I can rely upon
your correcting this wrong to Senator
Owen in a proper form that will sug-
gest itself to your own sense of fair
ness.
The editorial referred to criticised
Senator owen, of Oklahoma, for having
secured his election as United States
Senator at a time when he was push
ing an outrageous claim for 81, 000, 900
in fees from the Indians for alleged
services. etc.
The plain truth is that before the
Court of Claims Senator Owen repre-
sented Charles r. Winton and others,
in which suit the attorneys interested
were to be entitled to such fees as the
court itself might award to them at
NHO SoiiSiu9ioH VI tHe LtlBdIlloH III
event of success. There is no claim for
n u unreasonable sum as $1,000
900, nor anything like 1t.
This item, in various forms, has been
running current through the press, and
submit that being untrue and with
out any foundation it ought to be cor
rected. DANIEL B. HENDERSON.
Washington, d. c.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1910-11-21
The People 5 Rostrum


quarts, sixteen ounces for pints and
eight ounces for half-pints; according
to law. but 1 very much doubt If the
consumers get any more thar they used
to, as the boxes are not now so often
overflled. The old sizes were used for
over twenty years, to my knowledge.
n were figured standard sizes for ice
cream, n I think 1t was just, as the
people got their full measure even If
the boxes were a little short in water
capacity. 1t has made a great deal of
trouble for dealers, as a long explana-
ton is in order in many cases to ex-
plain why the ice cream man. doesn't
fill the boxes like he used to.
H. A. LEVINE,
President keystone Folding Box Com
pany, of Newark, N. J.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1910-11-21
RUSSiA'.S GRAND OLD MAN.

T was a characteristic remark by Count Tolstoy III his last hours,
when there were six doctors around him and he rallied out OF
his unconsciousness, There are millions Of people IN the WofId
and many of them are suffering; why then are you all around the
bed of one sick man" Count Tolstoy dedicated his life ana his genius
to humanity, and the sincerity of that dedication and the complete
ness of his selfabnegation could not find a higher expression III
words. Count Tolstoy sought humiliation when he abandoned his
rank in the Russian nobility and cast in his lot with the tohang
masses. He adopted the peasant life and the peasant habit. lie
wanted to be indistinguishable from the humblest OF the cars
subjects. But he was elevated by his own voluntary Illumination
to the highest place in the thoughts of mankind and he achieved
a distinction above all other Russians. How small the great ear
appears beside the majestic figure of Count Tolstoy! How pithul
the Russian nobility in the presence of this grand old man IN his
peasant habits, whose death yesterday has saddened the whole civ
fized world.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1910-11-21
The s~enatorsbip.

To the Editor of the Evening Star:
Many cranks and ignoramuses in
Newark and New Jersey generally are
saying hat because several Republic
cans and Democrats injected them
selves into the recent primary election
as candidates for United States sem
ator the successful State senators and
assemblymen of the party that won q
majority of the Legislature at the gen
eral election were pledged to vote for
the candidate who got the most votes
for Endorsement for the United States
senatorship.
An afternoon sheet in this city h a
was started as a Democratic paper with
the aid of money of a railroad, became
Republican to get city and county adj
vertising called public pap" and when
the paper made money turned traitor
to the Republican party that gave 1t
pap as 1t had lone to h Democratic
party, and advocated the Progressive Re-
publican factions idea, has k the
same position as the other cranks and
ignoramuses. The course of this wob-
bling paper is controlled by bigotry and
newspaper jealousy.
Former Governor Stokes received a
majority at the Republican primaries
but the Republican members or the
next Legislature will vote for Senator
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1910-11-21
THE NEW CONGRESS- DISTRICTS.

IT T is probable now that the ratio of representation In the House
Of Representatives will be increased under the present census.
The reapportionment will be made at the coming session. The
chamber of the House of Representatives is too small to accommo-
date the increase if the present apportionment is preserved, and it
is not desirable to increase the membership anyhow, as the House
is now too unwieldy. Good judgment suggests a decrease rather
than an increase. We can get no better laws from five hundred men
than from three hundred, and the minimum number means a larger
economy in the expenses. New Jersey is fairly sure of one add
tionai member by any apportionment that may be adopted, as
the census gives this State a considerable margin. The State
Legislature will, therefore, have the duty of redistricting the State
under the new apportionment and the addition of one district will
be enough to necessitate great changes in the district lines. Hap
PLY, the Legislature is so constituted that there can be no partisan
redistmcHng.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1910-11-21
THE DAYS BEST STORY


~ NE If the things which help swell the travellers expenses, both in this
1 country and abroad, is the extra It may oil Ia not b. charged in
the BILL but 1t is sure 70 be paid for. Probably ven the most gener-
GUS traveller, however. VIII have some sympathy fol- the gentleman in the
following story, who raj made to pay literally fr a certain annoying privi-
lego.
During his stay at the hotel the weather had been very hot
Charles" aid the landlord Ito the clerk who ws making ot the bill tt
be presented to the departing guest, "have yu noticed that he gentleman
in No Z has consulted the thermometer or the piazza at least en- times every
morning during his stay here?
Charles replied that he had.
Well" said the landlord, charge him HI price of en- dinner a day for
the use Of the hermometar"-Youths Companion.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1910-11-21

Kean. They do not recognize the small
vote at the primaries as in any way
binding. If George L. Record, the Pro-
gressive, had got more votes than
Stokes. is there any man so simple as
to thus believe Regular Republicans
would vote for him?
James E.. MARITIME and Frank NJ. Nc
Dermit were the self-appointed cam
didates at the Democratic primaries, in
which the voters took very little inter
est, for intelligent men knew that the
constitution Of the United States and
of the State of New Jersey prescribe
how United States senators shall be
elected and these constitutions must
be amended by a vote of the people
before a United States senator can be
elected by a direct vote of the people.
If McDermit had the majority Of votes
would the afternoon sheet support him ?
Nit. A STANCH JERSEYMAN.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1910-11-21

The aviation season, with it's posi-
bilities for tragedy, nears its end. but
the weekend crop Of auto accidents
remains large. Increased travel by
motor-car each Saturday and Sunday
cannot be held responsible for the mis-
haps, which are out of all proportion
to those Of the remainder of the week.
A spirit Of recklessness seens to be
inspired by these holidays, always with
tragic results. It would seem that a
lot of special regulation for this period
is needed.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1910-11-21

Now hat the top Of the world has
been reached, the summit of Mt. Nc
Kinley, browning point of the CONT
interesting goal than it was before.
Prof. Parker, of Columbia, announces
his intention OF making anothe effort
to reach the summit this winter. Prof.
Parker has. been VIGOROUSLY skeptieal
of the claims of each party announcing
it had reached the summit. His mis-
sion, it is believed, concerns itself with
d%isproving those claims as much as
with establishing a worlds record.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1910-11-21


To the Editor of the Evening Star:
To those who have watched the earn
ings of the Lackawanna Railroad Com
pany in the last few years the an
nouncement by it's officials at the Inter
state Commerce Commission hearing in
New York that they are losing money
on the communication business Is re-
garded as a good Joke. 1t Is absurd
for these men to tell the commission
that they are charitable institutions,
and Mr.. Ransom, the attorney for the
New Brunswick commuters, said so.
Just how the commission will come TO
the conclusion thai the railroads were
justified or not In making the advance
is hard to understand. If they will go
by the figures of the company, then the
railroads will win out, but 1t Is obvious
to everyone that the railroads have so
carefully juggled their figures that If
only the figures and not the net earn
ings are considered then the commits
sion ought to tell the carriers to raise
their rates again, If they wish to con-
tinue business.
There is only one way by which the
commuter will ever be benefited, and
that is by government ownership, and
sooner the State takes over the man
agement of the railroads the better for
the public. ANTHONY POWERS.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1910-11-21
A CRISIS.

A scout dashed into camp, made
his way to the tent Of the general
issmo, dismounted and fell half.
fainting at the feet Of that digni-
tary.
"A troop of Texas rangers. I'VE
miles to the north and coming this
way he gasped IN chile-con-carne
Spanish.
Peroxide seemed to be at work
on the generals swart skin. "We'll
quietly disband." he said, with
forced calmness. land reassemble IN
the interior.
Unnecessary sacrifice Of life il
not war;" he inuttered to himself.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1910-11-21
HOLES IN CHILD LABOR LAW.

O. TATE LABOR COMMISSIONER LEWIS T. BRYANT said on
Saturday at the annual meeting of the New Jersey Child
Labor Committee that notaries public and justices of the
peace, who are permitted to give certificates to children allowing
them to labor, make a commercial business of it, charging from two
dollars to five dollars for the service and giving certificates
improperly. Children are permitted to go to work when they have
no education and without any inquiry as to their educational attain
ments. The official who gives the certificate is not at all inquisitiye
about the childs age. It is obvious that there are fatal defects in
the child labor law. The issuing of certificates should, for one
thing, be taken away altogether from the justices of the peace, the
great majority of whom are unfit to perform such a duty. Most of
the labor legislation by past Legislatures placed on the statute
books is practically worthless in its operation. In reforming things
reforming the labor laws.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1910-11-21
CONFESSIONS OF A LADY BURGLAR,

(Some advance sheets OF an abb
sorbingly interesting work soon to
be on the market)
IT was a harem-scarem sort Of a
girl, fond OF taking all sorts or
chances, but there was no harm In
me until I began to take spoons and
assorted silverware.
IT am positive I might have
missed my chosen calling-bur-
glary-had + not acquired the SOU
venir' habit at IN early age. We
raveled a great deal, as father al
ways said it was cheaper to travel.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1910-11-21
THOSE COOKING EGGS.

Look here" exclaimed the Nsm
York baker indignantly, "those eggs
o sent me yesterday were per-
fectiy good"
BEG your pardon" rephed tire
produce merchant; bad eggs were
all out. Wen make the price the
same this time and see that u
doesn't happen again"
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1910-11-21

II began my collections almost in
stinctively; a knife and fork here.
a spoon there. I was always care
full not to take enough from any
n hotel to be missed readily.
Never shall I forget fathers ex-
preston when I showed him I had
not been idle on our travels. We
had settled temporarily in a little
house and father and mother were
discussing the necessity of getting
ONE things. / brought in the bag
OF souvenirs, and when he had
heard how 1 got them father kissed
me and said 1 was a daughter to
be proud of. but that my work,
while not coarse, was slow"
ITO be continued.) 4
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1910-11-21
AVIATION OF THE GOBBLER.

The Guinea-The ostrich needn't
plume himself, 1t is not up to date.
National Feed Bird-That's right. 1t
ought to come around to the fowl yard
the day before Thanksgiving and see
the feathers fly.