davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-13

Kk Il ODtTE not, we art tplu OIl a
high authority, land thou shalt
u not be Judged" but probably
most of us fail to fully understand that
injunction. as we fail to understand
many other things contained in the
same volume from which the extract
quoted is taken. To judge accurately
and intelligently the actions of our
neighbor, we must of necessity know
great deal which we never can know.
We must understand his inherited
strength and weakness, his early edu-
cation and environment, and the cir
cumstances which surround the partic-
ular action which we are investigating.
No two actions, no two crimes, are ever
committed in exactly the same clrcum-
stances, and no iron-clad rule can be
laid down to govern every possible
case.
Gradually the civilized world is be-
ginning to realize that crime in many
cases is a disease, and that there are
born criminals just as there are persons
born insane, or physically or mentally
deficient. When crime begins to be
treated by the bench as well as in the
prisons scientifically, we shall have bet
ter results all along the line.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-13
HOW 1T BEGAN

Naturally the hand that rocked the era
die, being gifted with mind, got to Won
derng at length if the world wasn't to be
ruled in some manner more intellectual
spirited and brilliant
"At all events there's more than one way
to skin a cat" 1t reflected. And reasoning
by such bold analogies it went forward from
one position to another until in the course
Of time the most striking movement Of the
age was launched.--Puck.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-13
CIRCuMLOCuTlON

Patience hear you're engaged to he mar
ried?
Patrico-Where in the world did you hear
that?
My maid told me-"
"How did she hear it?"
"A policeman told her"
more mystery How came a policeman to
know it?'
"Why, the man you're engaged to told him
when the Officer was taking him home!'-
Tonkers Statesman.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-13

Dr. Theodore Roosevelts Berlin lee
ture on "The World Movement" was
not altogether optimistic. Still, he
found reason for belief our civiliza-
ton would weather the storms ahead
and would be improved.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-13
SLOW cAUDAL GROWTH

Halley's comet whose advent has been her
aided 50 widely and regarding whose move
ments so much has been written, may after
all prove something Of disappointment. Sa-
wants at oxford are quoted as saying that
the comets tail is not developing fast
eXpected-Humboldt standard.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-13
UNDER COUNTED

Oakland is discovering rather tardily that
she has not been thoroughly counted by the
census, and like all other things awakened
out OF sound sleep, is fighting mad about it.
The bakersfield oil region complains, too. al
though it was perfectly natural for the enum-
orator to slip cog there. Sacramento Bee.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-13
AN oLD-FAsHIoNED EATER

The whale had just swallowed Jonah
THANK goodness the beast doesn't Fletcher
ize," cried her.
Consoled by this discovery, he placdy
awaited the election notice-New York sun
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-13

ny HE health of school children Is
subject that is demanding increas-
4 ing attention from physicians ana
teachers throughout the country.
The proper ventilation for school
buildings has been and is a problem
wrestled with and not yet completely
solved by architects. But great ad-
vances have been made in the science
of ventilation, and the day is coming
when all pupils will have an abundance,
of fresh air, safeguarded from all
danger of cold.
land school department of health de-
velopment. in speaking of the value OF
fresh air in school buildings says:
Fresh uncooked air in constant sup
ply will build up abe children IN the
schools who are delicate and make the
robust ones more vigorous
In the wintry east children are
warmly clothed and taught in rooms
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-13
NEIGHRORLlNESS

Keep your eyes on your neighbors. Take
care Of them Do not let them stir without
watching. They may do something wrong if
you do. To be sure you never knew them to
do anything bad, but 1t may be on your ac-
count they have not. Perhaps II It had not
been for your kind they might have dis
graced themselves a long time ago.-Oakdale
Leader.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-13
INSURGENTS

The term nsurgent first given as a stig-
ma, term of reproach. 1t has happened
more than in history that epithets meant
to be opprobrious have become badges of I'M
perishable honor and of worldwide distinction
The insurgents in congress accepted the scorn-
full appellaton, were not ashamed of II, and
now have come TO be proud Of it.-San Jose
Herald.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-13
Public Letter Box

TO CORRESPONDENCE intended
for publication must be accompanied by the
name and address of the writer. The Herald
gives the widest latitude to correspondents
but assumes responsibility for their views
Letters must not exceed 800 words.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-13
A BUSINESS CONFERENCE

1.-THE junior partner wants to see you right
away" announced the bookkeeper. Il guess
It's the bounce for yours"
"Nix" responded the office boy. 'He only
wants to find out what new players have been
signed. Washington Herald.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-13

Further official details as to union
geles are expected eagerly We hope
the magnates don't intend to keep us
in suspense.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-13
KATE RENDER's LIVES

Once more Kate Bender is dead. This time
she died at Rio Vista Kate has been dying
with great regularity every few years for
the past quarter of century, and now has
reached the record in the number Of lives sup
posed to be attained by cats.-Sacramento
Union
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-13

Los Angeles, with 100000 school chill
dren, should have the best educational
system as well as the best government
in the world. And we have both but
must exercise constant vigilance to re-
tain them, maintain them and perpet-
uate them
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-13

Gain in Los Angeles bank cloarings
yesterday. as compared with cores
ponding date a year ago, $500, ,629O9.
The total exceeded by 81, 1870 1885 that
for corresponding date under the old
regime. Good government brings pros
perity. Good government pays. 1t is
well for Los Angeles good government
is the Los Angeles way.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-13

What's this? Secret" preparations
for a dinner by the Automobile club
to supervisors and highway commits
sion? There is too much secrecy in
Los Angeles government. Tell the pa
pers the news, gentlemen. The truth
never yet harmed anybody; and it is
public informed about just such events
as a CLUB dinner 70 public servants.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-13

Advisory committees engineer
charges the highway commission with
ineficiency and declares that he has
proof That will be enough. The COM
missioners do not hold office by divine
right Show them the door.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-13
AT THE THEATERS

AUDITORIUM-Dark.
BELASCO-"The Price"
BURBANK-"The Barrier"
EMPIRE-Musical extravaganza.
GRANDA-"The Serenade"
Los Notwithstanding.
MAJESTIC-Kolb and Dill.
MASON-Maude Adams.
OLYMPIC-Muslcal farce.
ORPHEUM-Vaud
RINCESS-Musical farce.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-13
WON EMS FAITH

OF the $50 women who have written to Hetty
Green's son that they will love him for him
self alone, II is safe TO say not one has
seen him Such is the faith of women.-San
Bernardno Free Press.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-13

Horrible Houston is carping and
snaring at Lovely Los Angeles. All,
wcll That's tho Horrible Houston
way. The Los Angeles way is highly
superior. Lovely Los Angeles is not
at all jealous of Horrible Houston
doesn't need to be-
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-13
GRANDMA's WAY

Grandma says they didn't know anything
about benzoate Of soda in her day; she used
to hide her jelly to make it keep-Santa Rosa
Press Democrat.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-13
OUT THEY GO

Turn the rascals out" That's what the
voters appear to be doing every place through
out the country whore they have been given
an opportunity lately.-Nallejo Times.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-13

Serene e. Payne of the tariff law
denies vigorously the assertion the
blames the increase on over produc-
tion of gold, In the opinion of its BIZ
goted devotecs, the tariff, like a king,
can do no wrong.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-13
BLACK AND BLUE

Uncle--Well, / suppose you got a good
many marks at school this term, Freddie?
Freddie-Yes uncle rather; and some Of
EN- still hurt-Tit Bits
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-13

Said Willie unto Teddie: Watch
my exhibition drill" Said Teddie un-
to Willie: Ever hear of San Juan
hnl?"
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-13

Build the good roads. Don't allow
the good roads movement to become
archaic. Get a hustle on. Act, act in
the living present Life is real, life is
earnest. Why should the good roads
project be allowed to drag? When the
people voted the bonds, they expected
prompt action, not procrastination.
Build the good roads, and build them;
don't botch them
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-13

on all matters pertaining TO advertising
address Charles R. Gates, advertising man
ager
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-02-26

that you didn't have "A rag Ia your back.
How about that? II you haven't rag
to your back how the deuce comes 1t
to find out what you'd better put on to
go TO a show?
IF your don't cali that dead give
away I'd like To know what you do call
it. Just goes to prove the contention
that I've been making right along that
you've got so blamed many buds that
you don't know when and where to use
'em.
.Oh, well, please don't stand there rub
bling your chin about it. Have you for
gotten, by the way, that ] requested YOU
few moments ago to put the buttons IN
a shirt for me? Very well. Then why
not get at that before beginning to worry
Yourself to death about what you re going
to wear out of your immense assortment
of weara bles? Hereafter however. be
good enough to remember that Xou won
have any chance whatever to get away
with it when YOU Try to spring that Old
plant of yours about not having a rag
to YOUR back | think I'll just jot down
a note in my memorandum book to the
effec: that on such and such date-this
date that iS-you owned up to II that you
had so many clothes that you dldn know
what to do with 'em all.
BY the way | believe there is a sort
of tacit understanding between us, ism
there, that we're going to the theater
tonight Then why don't you get ready :!
.'D'ye call standing there with your
hair flying all over your shoulders get
ting ready? Dye think How's that?
Oh, you're looking for dress sh1rt LOT
me- are you? Oh. VARY well. Looking
for one, Ell? Do you have 10 get out
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-02-26

neighborhood. and probably he had some
very good friends on the jury.
However that may =. y came along
to the third trial, which. after dragging
along for few days, was sent to the
jury along about dusk in the evening.
Going out for a stroll after seeing those
twelve good men locked up, / met the
father OF the boy on trial, and we walked
along together. side by side. Finally.
after we lad chatted about this and that
ana the other thing, he said to me:
John, what are you going to do with
my boy If this jury also disagrees?'
We'll, Tom, | replied. Il don't know
that it is exactly proper to discuss this
case in advance of the finding of the
jury. but | don't mind saving to you.
knowing YOU all my life. as ] have, that
l can't do anything but hold him for an
other trial.
Sure you've got to do that john
Absolutely sure l replied.
The father was silent for a while.
and then he said. Look here. John, how
much did that first trial cost
"Oh, about $1Go'
And the second?'
Just about the same.
And this trial.?
oh l said. perhaps a hundred or so
less
He was silent again. John he said
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-02-26
NAVY &-3H4@@@

say" replied Bill Wyeth. the teamster.
but he accepted the commanding officers
invitation 10 join the command, and
slept peacefully that night in barracks
He became Il sergeant in little or no
time, being a man of sense and initiative.
There are still i'll the regular army any
number of old-tmers with caulifioWer
ears and bent noses who remember Bill
Wyeth and the queer way he entered the
army.
The queer case of the Halloran twins
kept an American man-o'war in an acute
state of bother during the early part of
a China station cruise owing to deser
ton miX-up. One o. the Halloran twins
who had been in the navy eight years
reaching the rating of first-claSS bo'Sun' s
mate-for swell sailorman was this
Halloran-iumped his ship at Mare Is
land. Cal, owing to a crouch which he
had conceived against the service be-
cause his shore liberty had been curtailed
the way from the Mare Island navy yard.
until his ship should proceed on her
cruise in China waters. The cruiser
dropped down from Mare Island and
anchored in front of San Francisco to
take on some additional stores before
Steaming out OF the gate Chinaward. n
group Of shore-visiting officers from the
ship came upon the twin of the deserving
Halloran on Market street. this civilian
Halloran being decent and prosperous
milk dealer in San Francisco. The officers
summoned cop and the milk-dealing
Halloran was swooped upon from the
rear He had to be conveyed down to
the Clay street wharf in hurry wagon.
and he gave the four policemen attached
to that vehicle the light OF their lives
before they could land him there.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-02-26

soldiers were moved from one coast 10 the
other.
Soldiers reared in the east would
jump their outfits rather than go sol
dierinS out on the slope, and the slope
reared soldiers. having terror of the
the service in sets of tours when their
regiments were ordered TO this sea
board.
The officers of the departing regi-
ments would leave word behind then:
as to the deserters. with choppy. mere
" casual descriptions of the cutters.
and the newly arriving regiments would
keep an eye out for the deSerterS from
the departed outfit.
As often as not they'd get hold of
chaps who knew no more about soldier
ing than they did about Shintoism, and
il was no uncommon thing for some OF
the unfortunates to be detained in the
guardhouses for months before they
could contrive to convince the officers
holding them that they had never nay
footed or straw-hoofed in their lives.
A typical case of this sort was that
of teamster named Bill Wyeth OF san
Fran isco.
An artillery regiment. with headq uar-
tiers at the Presidio of San Francisco,
was moved to the eastern coast before
the arrival in San Francisco OF Its re-
lieving regiment from the artillery
posts around New York harbor.
Among the deserterS from 1t was a
soldier named Bill Wyeth 1t happened
that there was d huge. powerful. good
natured teamster named Bill Wyelh
also. who lived not far from the main
gate of the Preside. Some of his
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-02-26

stand the sentiment or that section AZ
Col Gordon understands II. Nnd Col.
Gordon thought. he told the senate.
that when he and Senator Hepburn got
back from down there they might -
together to Statuary Hall where lie
would throw up bis hat and hurrah fof
Gen. Grant. while Hepburn would admit
that Lee was a fine Teller after ali!
And the colonel read poetry, tao-po atrv
OF his home manufacture. the poetry If
homely home muse-which. while II may
have limped bit in spots. mechani, ais.
was Clean and sweet 81 spirit.
Altogether. that little farewell speech
ny Col. Gordon Will - remembered IN t3e
Senate for many day 10 come. lie il
not a great lawyer Or i wonderfully Wise
statesman or a remarkably learned maui
in any Of the things that 20 10 make ~
the composition of some of the most pro-
found and keen-minded members ~ that
body. but he did a. much and more
than any Of them could do. For IN hodr
he made the sun shine in the chamber
He lightened for the time its dignity and
its intellectual gloom. lie made every
body who heard him forget FOR The mo-
ment the cares of parties and n poiltl ;
and other worrsome things. lie Is Tie
hest exponent of the simple life that has
been seen in Washington IN many a day.
IRVING {. NORWOOD.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-02-26

have sat in the seats of the mighty and
to have dwelt among the great But
now that the honor has been his he Is
not q all averse To retiring TO his home
plantation down in Mississippi and
dwelling there until his time shall be
up. among his memories of rose and
gold.
Col Gordon thinks well OF everybody
He is grateful to John ID. Rockefelle!
because down in Mississippi the colonel
can buy oil now for 10 cents gallon.
when formerly he paid 20 cents. He does
not think Rockefeller is to be enNied for
having so much money. The colonel
thinks he is more to be pitied. More
over, Rockefeller, as the colonel sees
him. is a good man. man VINO tried To
do the best he can for himself, his peo-
pie and the public at large.
This fine old Mississippi gentleman
invited Senator Hepburn, who waved
the bloody shirt in the Senate the other
day in opposition to little bill to per-
init the Confederate veterans at their
reunion in Mobile To use government
tents. to visit him in Mississippi lie
promised to lend the senator his own
spectacles-and doubtless the glass IN
them is of rose-in order that he might
see the south as Col. Gordon sees IT.
may recognize the people as Col. Cor
don recognizes them. and may under
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-02-26

proceeded to unCoil upon me the follow
ing:
81 have a scheme for which l require
your Endorsement.
My scheme involves the organization
OF an outfit OF muscular. sprightly. sea-
soned and workmanlike young fellows TO
act as guides. Counselors and chaperons
for once-in-a while rymmies.
You will acknowledge. l think. after
YOU hear me out that. in seeking 10 eff
feet such m organization. ! put my finger
upon Il widespread and a crying need
In New York there exists. l am told,
a regular organization Of highly proper
male cliaperons for young women study
ing ART and singing and such like all by
their lonesomes in this town. In fact.
there are all sorts of associations in New
York of this guiding and protecting and
chaperoning character. There Is even an
association that will send to your apart
ment. upon call by phone, properly Gre
dentiaicd young man to take your dog
out for an airing.
Wherefore / inquire of You, why
should there not be an establishment
where upon call. the once-in- awhile
pickle could obtain for any desired period
of time the services of Il competent guide,
handler and all-'round protector?
= 'Tis a question. | think. that calls for
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-02-26

search warrant and writ of replevin in
order to find dress shirt for me?
~
Don't YOU know where they are kept?
Maybe they're up on the roof Perhaps
the janitor has 'em down in his coal bins.
PERHAPS Oh. YOU have the shirt, but
it's the buttons you're looking for, eh
Well. the buttons can't be more than
10000 miles away. ybu know | haven
made any recent trips to the east coast
OF Zanzibar wearing a dress shirt that
know of, and So
oh you've found EN-, have you?
Great, You're the wonderful little finder
all right, Now spose you get a little
wiggle on and make a start. anyhow, to-
ward getting ready for the theater.
And, say. don't get so frustrated over
it. Take it coolly. The trouble with you
is that when you're going anywhere you
proceed to get yourself all worked up
about it and then your fingers become all
thumbs, and
"Oh. say. where my patent leath-
ers? Huh? No, they're not under the
bed. No they're not in the closet, either.
They're nowhere. that's where they are.
If they're anywhere i'm this room, then
I'll eat EN-, that's all. | guess the ash
man has got EN- by this time. Proba bly,
you sent en- down in tie dumb waiter
under the impression that they were
empty milk bottles. Whatever you did
with EN-, they're
whats that? They're right here where
couch? Then why didn't you say SO in
the first place? Dye call this getting
ready? Dye
We'll, gee-gosh, it's kind of a
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-02-26

half in these waters? Pull up your right
sleeve YOU brazen reprcbatc, and Show
me that tattooed dagger on your fore
arm.
:: \
Al these words the master-at-armS
darted forward and pulled up tic right
sleeve of the Innocent shirt There uai
the dagger, tattooed in two colofs on tie
milkman's right forearm. The executive
officer had no means of knowing THAT
Pat. i'm a drunken hour Of envy 81 -
sailor brothers tattouing, had had iltl
dagger pricked on his arm by = Jan tdf-
too artist of San Francisco only lev
months before. But that settled -
hash To China he was carried on boaih
the man-o'-war As there was no chdrg.
his twin brothers ship-jumping. III" ship
Jumper not having been absent the r.
uuired ten days, Pat was merely brought
before a summary court-martlai Tor hfsN-
ing his ship without permission ana =
bunch of extra duty was pied on NM.
They might just as well have sentences
PAT To act as Secretary IF the Nav. it'
didn't know . capstan bar from tolfs
ward. and when they put MN on dec
restored to duty-or rather chuCNeu LII
to duty in his absent brothers place-iiS
situation was a joke 10 all hands tor
ward. who believed his story Of a mis-
take.
But he wasn't released from his idioti.
situation tiu his twin brother. having
heard of the, mess turned up in Japan.
gave himself up on board the ship all
was restored to duty after a court
martial, with appropriate punishment.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-02-26

and so on. Thus you're saved TIE price
of two Elehtra' tichets-the same being
twenty iron men-and all Of the ensuing
bother.
Yes. and when YOU espy seedy
duck lolling at the end Of the bar Wit
whom you used to exchange fool horse
talk at the tracks in the antique days
when they had racing around here-wntn
you espy this make-a-touch sink. and
he begins to nudge you around 10 the
end of aggregating a few Of Nonr pieces
of-eight-he hasn't win a bet in tuI-
sand years. lie says, an dcy hahn
nuthin' dom in NYawk no more-why.
your chaperon oozes along and sort II
sticks elbow in between. and tie
touch thing is all off: and If the touchcr
looks grouchy over ii and begins 10 talk
war medicine the chaperon Is there -
see that he does the subside thing witt
ont accomplishing the least bit Of dam
age.
IF YOU insist upon partaking of many
and large eats at one of those 9th
avenue restaurants where with all Of
that joy water jouncing around in you.
you'd never get by the coat boy. much
less the head waiter. your chaperon gem
thy leads and conducts you to an eats
drum where they don't care how limp
and wahbiy YOU are so long as you're
there, obviously there. with the settling
junk.
"D'ye get it, You're nicely handled.
You've got caretaker on Your st.tH.
You slip him. say, five a day Tor lis
services, with his eats and drinks tnFosN
in. and he not only saves you coin, hist
every bother common To the derellet
pickle. When it all Overland hes right
the job till the finish--you dismiss
him with the serene knowledge taat
he has kept YOU from making mouse
colored mutt of yourself and that yoa
haven't been in any kind Of Jeopardy
for one-eiShth of a minute.
Elbow many shares did YOU sly Eon
would be subscribing for in This new
company of mine"
| didn't take any shares but il was
borne in upon me, all the same. that
this promoting acquaintance of mine Win
the vague and wandering eye had
pretty good idea.
CLARENCE L. CULLEN.