The Marshall republican., 1910-11-11

deacon lS LII nedVen.
Professor (returning home from
visiting) "Aha! Your absent-mine-
ed husband didn't forget to bring
home his umbrella this time. See !"
His wife-"But, Henry, when you
left home you didn't take an um-
brella."
Norristown Herald: A New York
Tribune editorial is headed "Wo-
man and Autumn Leaves" So they
do; but IL the woman is book
agent, she is blamed sight slow
er leaving than autumn.
"Do those Englishmen understand
American slang?" "Some OF them
do. why?" "My daughter is to be
married in London and the Duke
has cabled me to come across"
"Well?" "DoesN he want me or
my wad?"
The nurse had been giving the
twins a bath. Later, hearing the
children laughing in bed, she said
"What are you children laughing
about?" ooh, nothing" replied
Edna. "Only you have given Edith
two baths and havn't given me
any"
Exchanges announce that egg in
spectors have been dropping in on
the local merchants, and rounding
them up for buying and selling
stale eggs. The inspector tells
the merchant to candle the eggs
purchased, and threarens prose-
cution for neglect in the future. 1T
will be joyful day when there
will be no market for eggs that
won't hatch.
Galveston News: A Galveston
darky rushed into a DOCTORS Of
flee and breathlessly exclaimed I:
"Come on, doctor, right off. Oar
is somebody in my house who is
in an awful fix-laid up in bed
agroanin' and agroanin' "Who is
it?" otis me. You see, boss, I
didn't hab nobody to send, 30 I
came myself"
Columbia Herald: A shrewd man
in neighboring town hit upon a
novel scheme that would cause his
neighbor to keep his chickens shut
up. He tied the kernels o. corr
to shipping tags upon which h
has written: "Ke1p your chickens
at home" 1t is said the chic k n
swallow the cora and carry this
tag to the owner.
Dr.-"You will be glad to know
that your husband will almost GER
tainly recover" Wife-"Oh, doctor,
what shall do?" Dr.-"Why what
do you mean? Aren't you anxious
that your husband should get well?
Wife-"Yes, only, when you said last
week you didn's think he would
live another day, Invent and sold
all his Clothes"
Columbia Herald: A girl's educa
ton in som}s of the fashionable
schools of the east is said to cost
from $4,000 to $4,000 a year. A few
years ago girl could go to some
of the best schools for $500 a year
and these same schools will not
take girls now for less than $1,000
The cost of living may have some
thing to do with it, but the averaga
American girl, it must be admitted
has much more extravagant tastes
than she used to have and the
schools cater to it.
If a postage stamp be placed up
side down on the top left-hand
corner of the envelope it means
the writer loves you. If crosswise
on the opposite corner "My heart
belongs to another and can never
belong to YOU" Placed in the
proper way in the same corner,
Goodbye for the present dear
est" If at right angle ON the
left hand top corner, 81 hate you"
The left-hand corner at the bottom
in the same way, 81 wish or desire
your friendship but nothing more"
Left-hand bottom corner upside
side down, "Write soon." If put
ON Line with the surname on the
left-hand side, "Accept my Lover.
If upside down in the same po-
sition, ~ am already engaged" II
the stamp is placed upside down 10
the right hand corner, "My heart is