davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-29
QUAKER NEGOTIATIONS.

EFrom the Philadelphia Record.1
Give the average man half a chance
and he will take it all.
The average man is a cheerful giver
when asked for advice.
This is a soar subject with me-" re-
marked the unsuccessful aviator.
The clam fritters its time away, but
the oyster is often in the soup.
The chestnut blight doesn't seem to
have had any effect on the minstrel
show.
The game laws do not affect the of
flee hunter. There is no close season
for him.
Hoax-"There ought to be some cure
for the work habit" Joax-'There is
"a sinecure."
The man who has never been consid-
cred a crank has never attracted much
attention
It may sound like an Irish bull, but
many man outlives his usefulness
who never had any.
The man who boasts that he never
told a lie is generally as plain and dis
agreeable as the truth
Every dog has his day" said the
optimist. Yes, but unfortunately we
can't all be dogs" sighed the pessi-
mist.
A girl soon tires of a fellow who
would rather sit in the front parlor
and hold her hand than take her to the
theater.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-29
GLOBE SIGHTS.
EFrom the Atchison G1ohe. !

GF'rom the Atchison Globe.
You are a success If you are right
half the time.
People are very picky; don't give
them a chance at you.
Every man carries a white feather
in his pocket, and occasionally shows
After a man has passed 80 and
woman so, they hear fewer noises at
night.
1t is always an agents business to
coax you to do something you don't
want to do.
A reputation as a fighter might be a
good thing if you could get 1t with
out fighting.
Is there really any excuse for
French words on the menu cards in
restaurants?
Occasionally a man is affabIe who
isn't running for office and hasn't
anything to sell.
Some people are so good they COM
NIT little sins just to have something
over which to repent.
When a man is telling his expert
ences, you can't tell him one that will
take his mind off of his
Every man who owns an automobile
will lie a little about the machines
ability to climb hills
The embarrassing moment you hear
about really seems like about half an
hour to the embarrassed one.
When you pay out a dollar. do you
growl with it, indicating that you are
in love with it? That's poor way.
It is said a certain school teacher is
going crazy because the common
speech of the people is SO INGRAM
NAUTICAL.
| You needn't be very important to
get a letter from a congressman; not
much more important than the letter
you get from the congressman.
A man who is a great stay-at-home
attended a party the other night. ''I'1l
bet said a girl, that his feet are
surprised because they haven't slip
pers on
It is said that an Atchison man is
SO stingy that he half-starves himself
every fall in order to keep up with
the shrinkage in his last winters un-
| derclothes.
When man discovers that he
| doesn't amount to much and never
will, we have a notion he is as dis
| gusted as the woman who discovers
that she is getting whiskers.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-29
TILE TRUE VAIUE oF MONEY.

Money is worth while, and we all
want a due portion of it. so long as it
means increased fitness of life writes
f. S. Martin. in Harper's Magazine for
November. ''ro live in a rich country
is an advantage because life is usually
fuller there. and opportunities are
greater and more accessible. But
money is only valuable as a means Of
prosecuting to better advantage this
experiment of human life. If by get
ting money you get more and better
life, you are ahead on the transaction,
but If you devote your life to getting
money and get it and nothing else. you
have made a bad bargain. Your life
was your great capital. and you have
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-29
JAYHAWKER JOTS

The Florence Bulletin remarks that
some automobiles are so loud it can't
see why they need horn.
The COW has not yet accomplished
the old feat of jumping over the moon
says the Lawrence World, but butter
seems to have no trouble in making the
hurdles.
When the Lawrence World read
about a Salina barber dying from
ptomaine poisoning as the result of
eating onions, it remarked: A man
sometimes gets his just deserts.
A discovery has been made by the
Lawrence World to the effect that the
fellow who cannot finish breakfast in
time for church seldom has any diff
Guilty in getting through dinner in time
for the ball game.
There can be no doubt about the edi-
a prudent man. He says he does not
like to loan anything for fear he
might make a mistake and loan it to
the fellow he borrowed it from.
The Concordia Kansan can see q
couple of advantages in being in the
penitentiary. AS it explains there's nc
wrestling for the price of the next
meal and one does not have to dodge
the landlord when the rent is due.
| Optimistic, indeed, is the Garden City
| Telegram. It looks confidently to the
day when there will not only be irri-
cation and complete agricultural prog
| ress in the extreme southwest counties
| but adequate railroad facilities also.
| The cabbage crop is short in this
| country, and the storm in Cuba has
ruined vast quantities Of tobacco, and
! because of these conditions 1t seems tc
t the Emporia Gazette that the man who
wants to smoke this winter win have
| to use mullin leaves.
A colored man had Joined the church
and was being examined by his pastor
as to his conduct, relates the Salins
Journal. Jerry, have you stolen an!
chickens since joining the church, in.
I quired the pastor. mo, sah," replied
Jerry. ANY pigs, or turkeys?" An6
again came mo, sah," from Jerry
You are doing well,'' complimented the
| pastor. II think your chances fol
| heaven are assured" Mandy" sale
Jerry to his wife, when they got out
of hearing distance of the pastor, at
! he had mentioned ducks I'd a been &
| lost niggah. suah,"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-29


Have you ever heard the voices of the
breezes in the woodlands?
They are like the cooings sweet OF
babes, to mother-earS most dear,
Or the chucklings Of the innocents at
jokes they heard in heaven,
Unforgotten in the little time they have
been with us here.
Have you ever seen the footprints Of the
breeZeS on the waters?
They are fleeing crinkled ripples DER
the river and the lake.
Like unto the quick impressions that the
babies, by their stepping
So unsteadily with dainty feet, on hearts
OF parents make.
Have you ever felt the touches OF the
breezes on your forehead7
They are like the soft caresses Of
baby's dimpled hand,
That can smooth away our wrinkles and
can soothe US in our worries
By magic in its gentleness we do not
understand.
In your meetings with the breezes. did
there come to you the knowledge
They are like our tiny toddlers and are
children of the air?
And that like our happy, careless, play
full, fond and cherished babies,
By their mystery and subtle charm
they make the earth more fair?
George Owen Koch, in the New York
Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-29
HUMOR OF THE DAY

Benevolent Old Citizen {to little fellow
shoveling snow)-Well, little man, you're
working hard.
Little Fellow indignantIyl-No. amt;
nobody told me to do it!-The Circle.
There's my sons portrait that you
painted It's just like him"
He never paid me for it,
Just like him. Punch.
YES" said the bankrupt. 1T lost nv
fortune reaching for an IDEAL
Very interesting. And what was your
"A bigger fortune than I had."-Phila-
delphia Ledger.
The Kid-PIease. mister gimme tough
sirloin steak?
The Butcher-Tough?
The Kid-Yes; cause if it's tender dad
eats it all.-Ilustrated Bits.
"Te1l me this
"Wel1?'
How does a woman manage to get a
gown from the dressmaker before the
style changesP '-LouiSville Courier-Jour-
nal.
us your daughters college education
of any benefit to your
order when we sit down at soda water
counter" -Milwaukee Journal.
do you believe in the literal idea of
future punishment"
Not for myself" answered Mr. Sirius
Barker. But I favor it for a lot of peo-
pie 1 know."-Washingto Star
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-29
oxford considers Reform.

Oxford university, like the house of
lords, is debating how to reform 1T
self Like the lords. also, 1t no longer
doubts that unless it reforms itself 1t
will be reformed from without. The
head of the movement is Lord Curzon,
the most vigorous chancellor the uni
versity has had in recent times. LORD
Curzon believes that Oxford and Cam
bridge are too much given to classics
and turn out too many young men
who have general culture without
special efficiency. Ever since he be-
came chancellor he has been agitating
for reform and he has persuaded the
hebdomadal council, one of the three
governing bodies of Oxford, to declare
for less classics and more practical in
struction.
This declaration comes as a SEN
sational surprise to many and especial
Iy to the old-fashioned graduates of
the university. These had assured
themselves that whatever the modern
spirit might do in other institutions of
learning 1t would never weaken the
position of Greek, Latin, history and
mathematics in Oxford. They argued
that the most important thing in life
| is character, and that general culture
| is necessary to character. They as
serted that whoever specialized before
adequately generalizing never would
go so far in the world as the student
| who patiently followed the old course
| LOTQ ana II6
council decided, however. that al
though this standpoint looked right in
the abstract, as matter of fact Ok
| ford was turning out students poorly
equipped to compete with the special
| ly trained graduates of more practical
nations. Hence commerce and econ
omics come up, while Greek goes down
at Oxford and mathematics and his
tory move little aside to make room
for technical sciences and modern
! languages.
Moreover, steps have been taken tt
enable poor boys to go to Oxford. The
wealthy boys are said to be in morta
fear of getting their hands dirty
They think, for example, that no gen
t1eman could throw little coal or
the fire. It is believed that if some
poor boys can be sent to Oxford 1t will
have a tendency to pull the Nightly.
ing students down to earth.
The, hebdomadal council is the
smallest of the governing bodies a
oxford. The congregation is next il
size, and the convocation is the larg.
est of all. Lord Curzon wishes to re
form these three and, difficult as tn,
task Is. 1t seems as If the former vice
roy of India might succeed. II HI
fails parliament may undertake the
taSk.-Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-29

allowed herself to be. She has al
ways managed pretty well by herself
so far. but there will come time
when she will not be SO se1f-suff1cient.
And, by jove, I almost wish some
thing would happen to take down her
pride little, poor gir1!''
For long time he sat quietly
thinking. Then Richard Dayton, one
of the most respectable and highly
honored man of his town, did a strange
thing.
Up In the close. clustered attic he
stole with tiny Pickering candle for
light, and when he came down noise
lessly, he carried some dark. shape
less garments over his arm.
Long after Miss Brejetta had re-
tired she lay awake thinking miser-
ably. Scarcely discernible footsteps
seemed haunting the darkness, but
she comforted herself thinking 1t was
boys on their midnight Halloween
pranks. Unaccountable night sounds
caused her to shrink nervously, but at
last she slept in ftful snatches.
Suddenly she sat up, every sense
alert. The vibration of the old brass
knocker still echoed through the hall.
For moment she covered among
the pillows, then the thought of some
one in trouble nerved her to action
Tremblingly she lighted a lamp,
slipped on some clothing and hurried
to the door Without waiting for her
courage to fail, she slipped the bolt.
swung back the door and let the light
shine across-a vacant porch! But
down by the gate stood a slouch1ng
figure with hat pulled low.
'Mr. Dayton-Richardl" called Miss
Brejetta family, almost dumb with
terror.
"Herei" called a familiar voice re-
assuringly, and the nearest netghbor
sprang over the end of the porch
rail and took the lamp from her
trembling hand. Drawing her out to
the Swallowed piazza and into his arms,
he held her breathlessly.
st heard the bell" he explained.
land feared you would be frightened!
See, dear, it is that strawman-just
a Halloween joke! But you do need
me, don't you, Brejetta ?''
"Oh," she sobbed, her face against
his coat. Then with intoxicating
sweetness she surrendered COM
pletely.
''Dick, I want you to hoe the gar
den, and split the kindling, and do
the whole miserable business! And
I perfectly hate living alone, and l
have been lonely and afraid. and I'm
glad I've been scared into my senses!"
''And do you love me a little, bre-
jetta ?'' anxiously.
'Do you suppose" she cried In ex-
asperated tenderness, that I should
have used you so shamefu1ly il I had
not loved you? Oh, you dear, stupid
man!"-(Copyrighte 1910 by Asso-
ciated Literary Press.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-29
JOURNAL ENTRIES

It's the vocal teachers who make
good money out of poor voices.
~ 4
Clothes may not make the man, but
they help him to put on a good front.
-
Experience wouldn't be so costly
to some people If they would only put
it to COED use.
Forehandedness pays, but not to the
extent of counting your chickens be-
fore the eggs are even laid.
A man seldom has any trouble con-
vincing himself that those who differ
from him are in the wrong.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-29

pictorial commentary on Mr.. Roose
velt's book, African Game Trails,
which recently appeared in Punch. One
of the pictures is labelled Kermit's
Wart-hog. It shows the animal dressed
in the riding habiliments of a lady Of
fashion and seated on a white horse
that is travelling along at John Gilpin
speed The picture illustrates this de-
scription of Kermit's experience, de-
tiled by the colonel in his book in the
following words: He ran into her on
horseback after a sharp chase of 4
mile or two, and shot her from the
saddle
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-29

Attorneys for all the large railroads
of the country are holding conferences
to decide whether or not they shall
bring proceedings to test the constitu-
tionality of some of the provisions Of
the new railroad law passed at the last
session of congress. Surely this united
action on the part of the railroad at
torneys combining in this fashion must
be violation of the Sherman anti
trust law. When the railroad freight
agents held a conference to decide a
course of procedure in the matter of
freight rates. their action was held 10
be contrary to this law.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-29
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.

[From the New York Press.
Love has a big enough appetite
when it's normal.
Self control is easiest when you are
under somebody else's strong rule
When man does a good deed he
thinks it's much more than it is: when
a bad one. much less.
It's luxury to spend money on a
girl you're engaged to. and q necessity
on one you're married to-
A woman expects all manner of
blessings, but she never gives I'D be-
cause she doesn't get any of them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-29
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
[From the Chicago News. ]

From the chicago NeWs.I
The fortune hunter is apt to find
game scarce.
A girl becomes conceited about the
time she has her first beau.
The man who tells all he knows
doesn't make the world any wiser.
The wise wife makes her husband
believe that she believes all he tells
her.
It's an impossibility for the right man
to kiss a girl against her will.
And some men seem to think the only
way to make their mark in the world
is with a hammer.
The honey bee gets lot of credit for
its industry, but no one has a word of
praise for the every-busy housefly.
Occasionally a girl belives SO much of
what a young man tells her during
courtship that her capacity for belief
is exhausted soon after marriage.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-29
A Melancholy Man.

Lord Hammer was badly hoaxed on
one occasion by turyman, who
pleaded to be excused because he was
deeply interested in a funeral at
which 1t was his desire to be present."
"Oh, certainly was the courteous re-
ply of the Judge, and the sad, melan-
cholic-looking man left the court. my
lord" quietly interposed his clerk, as
soon as the juryman had gone, do you
know who that man is that you ex-
empted ?" mo" HE Is an undertake
er"-Tit- Bits
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-29
KANSAS COMNENT
TELLING THE TRUTH.

This paper has no use for the per-
son IN whose system the germs of
truth nave no abiding place. We care
not whether the man be Republican
or Democrat, or to what faction or
lodge or church he belongs. If he re-
fuses to tell the truth in politics as
Wen as business, we are going to snite
him. The man on our ticket who ma
Hciously circulates falSehoods to tear
down somebody else will get no sup
port from us. The man on the other
ticket who does the same thing is go
ing to be hammered. When a candi-
date goes out and deliberately lies about
honest men in order to- bolster up his
waning cause and malicious1y tears
down the character of good and tried
and faithful public servants, he de-
serves not a particle of support. He
should be branded from one end of his
bailiwick to the other as liar and an
untrustworthy person. When the law,
and figures in black and white, and
common fairness and decency, are
against fellow, and he persists in his
dirty and untruthfuI work, he should
be Stunned by all decent people. The
label Of church creed or political party
is no defense for the lair.-Osborne
Farmer.
THE FARMERS BUSY SEASON.
Reports from all over the state show
that weather and soil conditions are
most ideal for fall work on the farm.
For farmers and town gardeners this
is the busy season. In October and
November the gathering Of Indian
corn, kaffir corn and all the late grains
VIII continue. Then comes the shuck-
ing of the corn, the threshing of the
small grains and the hauling to the
cities or the granaries on the farm.
Th1s is the season, also, for the SOW
ing OF many Of next years crops. I'm
mense areas are now being plowed and
soWed In wheat. Alfalfa sowing is also
an important part of the fall work In
some counties in the western part of
the state the increase in alfalfa acreage
Is 3 to per cent over last years
exceeding the supply. Nearly ali the
large towns in the state have alfalfa
mills that are demanding more alfalfa
from the farmers to fill their orders
and they are willing to pay high prices
for 1T. 1t will become one of the lead
ing crops in all Kansas counties in a
Few years.-El Dorado Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-29

If the local coal supply should fail
because the local concerns dealing in
coal cannot get it from the coal fields,
will the citizens of Topeka, or a few of
them, rise in their wrath and demand
that the local coal companies be driven
out of business? That's what some of
them suggest as proper treatment for
the local gas company every time there
Is a temporary failure or shortage in
the natural gas supply.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-29

With hogs and corn cheaper, the
price of bacon continues to go up. The
explanation Is that hogs suitable for
transformation into bacon are unusual
ly scarce, and that bacon will not be
cheaper until another large supply OF
euch hogs is raised from the cheaper
corn. When it comes to explanations,
the packers always have a reasonably
plausible one handy.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-29

There's always a chance for things
10 go awry. And if the state fair bonds
do not carry, the people of Topeka and
Shawnee county will have tossed away
a golden opportunity to develop their
community and advertise it to the
world as wide-awake place that does
things. The great fair held here this
fall meant much to Topeka and Shaw
nee county. A greater fair next year
will mean much more
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-29

Here's a terrible slap on the ankle
for Isadora Duncan, who tries to in
terpret classical music, such as a
Beethoven symphony, with rhythmic
dancing. Professor S. H. Clark, of the
University of Chicago, styles her eff
forts as aesthetic sacrilege."
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-29

Colonel Roosevelt was hob-nobbing
in New York state the other day with
Representative Dwight. Mr.. Dwight
was the Republican whip in the house
of representatives at the last session,
and on one occasion during it's pro-
gress, he refused to invite the Repub-
lican insurgents to a Republican
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-29
~
f1aZsNy

The Oklahoma preacher who went
to Kansas City, got drunk. forged
checks and visited with strange female
persons; VIII be given another
in the. incident. Another chance is
one of the prerogatives of a preach
er. just as the choicest cuts of the yell
low-limbed fowl is his constitutional
right.
A Hill City dentist Is entitled to the
speed record for inserting filings. He
recently inserted a lead filling in a
patient in the remarkable time of %
Tat. The instrument used was a
Smith n wesson .3S
Morning Capsule refers to its en-
ployee who gathers up antique print
ed matter and distributes 1t for ad-
vertising purposes, as the Magazine
Editor" Now you may know just
what to call the colored gent who
passes through your alley and collects
pig feed. He is the Garbage Editor
of course.
popular sport with the Census Bureau.
Connie Mack of baseball fame, had
to get married to get his full name in
the papers. Everyone has heard of
Connie Mack, but only a select few
would have recognized him as Cor
nelius McGillicuddy.
LOVELY CHARACTERS Lesson XII.
Geronimo.
Geronimo was meaner than q timber
rattlesnake;
His appetite for blood increased with
every life he'd take.
The good, ge-lorious Government, RS
marked; 'Aw, amt he cute,''
And gave him blankets guns and such
likewise winter suit.
Instead of hanging this old skunk,
they kept him for pet,
And If he hadn't died, b'gosh-he
would be living yet!
BUT, If Gehenna is a fact, eve do not
claim to know
A warm spot was reserved for him
this same Geronimoi
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-29

What else might have been expected?
"a Chicago suffragette had a setto with a
Chicago policeman the other night and
the policeman got the worst of it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-29

What has become Of Walter Well
man?' asks a Constant Subscriber
Not knowing, this paper cannot say.
1t is to be presumed, however, that ne
is busily engaged writing magazine
articles on his famous balloon trip,
which the discerning Ed Howe de-.
scribes as a journey from Atlantic City
20 the North Carolina coast by way of
Newfoundland.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-29

Topeka's business men are now talk
Ing of inaugurating a trade extension
tour, the first one to be undertaken next
fall. It's good thing. Push it along.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-29

Every once in while some "smarty''
arises and remarks that Englishmen
have no sense Of humor, and they point
to the jokes of London's Punch as be-
ing flat and pointless. In refutation
Of such contentious may be cited a
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-29

Undoubtedly, among the large num-
her of Topekans who have failed to
register will be those who will protest
the loudest against the way the cleo
6ion goes.