davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29
The Deacon's Parable.

A self-conscious and egotistical
young clergyman was supplying the
pulpit Of a country church. After the
service he asked one of the deacons,
grizzled, plain-spoken man, what he
thought of his morning effort.
WAL" answered the old man,
slowly, "I'll tell We in kind of para
Bile. | remember Tunk Weatherbee's
fust deer hunt, when he was green.
He follered the deer's tracks all right,
but he follered 'em all day in the
wrong direction. "-Housekeeper.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29
chauffeur CHARGED with Rawn Murder

Chicago, Ill.-Ernest Hoffman, ne
gro chauffeur. formerly employed by
Ira G. Rawn, was arrested here late
today as a suspect in connection with
the railroad presidents death. Hoff-
man was discharged December last,
and az late as last May is declared to
have threatened Mr. Rawn's life on
several occasions. The arrest Of
Hoffman" whose real name. It was
learned is Ernest Stevens. was made
on information supplied by friend
e the former Monon president
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29
How He Kept tho Law.

81 noticed" said the friend-who-
could-be-trusted, after a trip through
the factory where preserves are made,
that white powder is first put in
the cans, and that the preserves are
then put in the white powder"
YES" explained the proprietor to
the uld-be-trusted, that
white powder is preservative. You
see we are compelled to put the pre-
serves in a preservative because an
idiotic requirement Of the government
makes it unlawful for us to put q
preservative in the preserves"
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29

given me, and I am recommending it
to all my friends. Mrs. w. S. FORD,
2207 w. Franklin St., Baltimore, Md.
The most successful remedy in this
country for the cure of all forms Of
female complaints is Lydia e. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound. 1t has
stood the test of years and to-day is
more widely and successfully used than
any other female remedy. 1t has cured
thousands of women who have been
troubled with displacements, infam-
nation, liberation, fbroid tumors, ir-
regularities, periodic pains, backache.
that bearing-down feeling, fatulency,
Indigestion, and nervous prostration,
after all other means had failed.
If you are suffering from any of these
ailments, don't give up hope until you
have given Lydia E. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound trial.
If you would like special advice
write to Mrs. Pinkham, Lynn,
Mass, for it. She has guided
thousands to health, free Of
charge.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29
More Serious.

"Mathlldt Browne was very rude to
an overdressed old woman she met on
the street the other day"
81 know the story. The old woman
turned out to be Mathilde's very rich
aunt, and now she's going to give all
her money to a hospital for decrepit
dogs"
Nothing of the sort. In fact, it's
worse. The old woman was the
Brownies new cook-and now they
haven't any"
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29
important to Mothers
Advice.

Father" queried Bob, just home
from college, you've worked for me
pretty hard nearly all my life, haven't
your"
Quite right. quite right. SON."
unused father, retrospectively.
Just so" returned Bob, briskly.
Now, you had better get busy and
work for yourself bitch, dad ~
Life.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29

The Teacher-Who was it that
climbed slowly up the ladder Of sue
cess, carrying his burden with him as
he went; who, when he reached the
top gazed upon those far beneath
him, and
The Scholar (aged 81 know,
ma'am. It was Pat O'Rourke, presi-
dent of the Hodcarriers union.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29
Real Novelty.

Knocker-Say. here's an original
baseball story.
Second Senior-How's that?
Knocker-Hero wins game in eighth
inning instead of ninth.-Yale Record.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29
CAUGHT In the Rush,

"My poor man." said the sympa-
thetic woman, land how came you to
be crippled for life?"
'Tll tell you, madam" replied the
beggar. "Once l spent my vacation
at summer hotel and was trampled
down trying to get into the dining
room after the first bell.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29
FINE POST CARDS FREE.
A Big Package Sent to All of Our
Readers Who Write at Once.

NCdUOT5 WIFI VTTIO dI OIIOO'
To any reader of this paper who
writes Immediately and incloses 2-cent
stamp we will mail set of five most
beautiful post cards you ever saw.
Or we will send our big magazine on
trial months and set Of eight choic-
est Floral Motto, Birthday and Friend
ship cards, all different, in exquisite
colors, silk finish, beautifully en-
bossed, all for only 10 cents; full
sets, "a cards all different, and one
years subscription, 25 cents. Address
Household Postcard Dept, So Capper
Bldg, Topeka, Kan
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29
a Dreamer

you say your boy Josh is dream
err" said the literary lady. Does he
write poetry or romances?"
oh" replied Farmer Corntossel,
"he don't write anything. But he jes'
natcherally refuses to get up till 9
o'clock"
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29

from 1rregularl-
ties, terrible drag
ging sensations,
extreme nervous
ness, and that all
gone feeling in my
stomach. 1 had
given up hope of
ever being well
when 1 began to
take Lydia E.Pink-
hams Vegetable
Compound. Then
1 felt as though
now life had haen
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29
Aromatic Effects.

What you ought to do" said the
physician. lis to take the air in an
automobile or a motor boat"
Cant stay home and open a can
of gasoline?"
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29
SAFETY MECHANISM
FAILED TO WORK
ITS FAILURE TO OPERATE RE-
sPoNsIsLE FOR II LIVES.
HAD NEVER OCCURRED BEFORE
Another Gun Found Defective Up
on Investigation and Steps
Will Be Taken to Improve
the Device.
HAD NEVER OCCURRED BEFORE

WdSHlDSJOn u. VI lue IdIIul (
of safety mechanism to operate
when sudden and powerful pull was
given by an artilleryman in attaching
the lanyard, is now laid the RESPONSE
bility for the accident which cost the
lives of II men at Fort Monroe, Va,
during the battle practice yesterday.
Such is the conclusion of General Gro
zier, chief of ordnance, U. S. A. who
attended the practice and who has
been in touch with the inquiry made
by the investigating board.
Never before in the history Of the
army had the device failed to work.
The possibility of its occurrence was
demonstrated, however, by General
Crozier himself shortly after the ac-
cident by a test made of all the guns
which participated in the practice.
In another gun in the Inflated bat
terry, the device was found defective
when General Crozier applied unusual
force, such as was never deemed nee
essary in tests.
Just before the accident the gun was
pronounced by the officers to be in
proper condition and in April coast
artillery officer, on inspection duty,
reported that its premature explosion
was beyond the range of possibility.
Steps will be taken at once to improve
the device.
"Of course it is entirely possible to
so change the mechanism as to pre-
vent the particular accident which oc-
Cured" said General Crozzier.
Herosm of Men.
Stories of valor and sacrifice in
time of suffering and confusion were
detailed to General Wood chief of
staff of the army and other officials
of the war department today on the
return to Washington of officers who
yesterday witnessed the fatal eXplo-
sion of the big gun.
These personal reports were aug
mented by further telegrahic reports
from Lieutenant C. p. Townsley of the
coast artillery corps, the commandant
of the fort.
Conspicuous in the group was Lieu
tenant Van Deusen, who suffered
broken leg from the body Of one of the
men being hurled against him, and
whose body was burned by gas. He
was the time-keeper during the target
practice.
Lieutenant Van Deusen," said
Colonel Townsley. in an official re-
port, supported himself on the rail
ing of the platform and directed that
the assistance that was offered him
be given to others in the vicinity.
some of whom were lying helpless
with burning powder grains in their
clothing"
Lieutenant Halves was praised by
the commandant for having extinguish-
ed with his bare hands burning ma
terial that threatened to ignite the
second charge which was on its way
to the emplacement.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29
Do You Want to Sell Your Farm2

/ want information Immediately about a
good grain or stock farm Cor sale. There
is good buyer waiting for it, willing to
pay your price. Write me at once for full
particulars. Address Arthur Capper, Dept.
s.. Topeka. Kan.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29

Relieved BY Murine Eye Remedy. Try
Murine For Your Eye Troubles. You VIII
Like Murine. 1t Soothes. Soc at Your
Druggists. Write For Eye Books. Free.
Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29

Preachers have been telling the peo-
pie that they are mean and selfish so
often that they all believe it and prac-
tise it.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29
A Ia Remembered Il.

Johnnie, what did the minister
preach about todayf"
at was about something that stings
like an adder and bites Ike q multi
plier."
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29
~ Van A.. Trif- sensitIve

IT YOU Arc a TITIc oeHsItIVe
About the size of your shoes, many people
wear smaller shoes by using Aliens Foot Ease,
the Antiseptic Powder to shake into the shoes.
II cures Tired, Swollen, Aching Feet and
gives rest and comfort. Just the thing for
breaking in new shoes. Sold everywhere, 26c.
Sample sent FREE. Address, Allen s. olmsted,
lie Roy N. Y.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29
Qualified.

How does your new book go?"
Great l am convinced that it is
a classic"
"A classic? What convinces you of
that?"
Everybody has either seen 1t or
heard OF it, but nobody has read it."
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29
Comparinu Notes.

Mrs. Newly-My little Robbie is re-
markably strong; he is only four
'fyears old, but he can raise his high
chair with one hand!
Mr.. Spoodler-Oh, that's nothing;
in the apartment house where l try to
do my sleeping there's a baby that's
only four months old, and that child
can raise the roof with no hand at all
We are still patiently awaiting the
advent of wireless politics.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29
DIAGNOSIS,

do you see that man going along
with his head in the air, shifting with
his nose?"
Yes, l know him"
81 suppose he believes in taking In
the good, pure ozone"
mo; he's hunting for a motor
garage, | believe. ''-Tit-Bits.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29

It's easier to get on in the world
than it Is to get up in it.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29

Or. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets regulate and invig-
crate stomach liver and bowels. Sugar-coated.
tiny granules, easy to take. DO not grippe.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29

A thick head is apt to generate q
multitude Of thin ideas.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29

A friends worth is at its best when
an enemy tests the strength.-Roy-
ston
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29
AFTER
FOURYEARS
OF MISERY
Cured by Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound

Baltimore, Nd. :" For four years
my life was misery to me. l suffered
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29

Clear white clothes are a sign that the
housekeeper uses Red Cross Ball Blue.
Large OF. package, cents.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29

DO YOUR. CLOTHES LOOK YELLOw3
If so, use Red Cross Ball Blue. 1t will make
them white as snow. OF. package cents.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29

If there is plenty Of room at the top.
why do people who get there continue
to fall off?
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29

Knock and the world will join In
the anvil chorus.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29
Busted

Many a man goes broke-in Health
then wealth. Blames his mind
says it don't work right; but all the
time it's his 6owels. They don't work
liver dead and the whole system gets
clogged with poison. Nothing kills
good, clean-cut brain action like con-
stipation. CASCARETS will relieve
and cure. Try it now. sls
CASCARETS 10c a box for weeks
treatment. All druggists. Biggest seller
In the world. Million boxes a month
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29

For children teething softens the gums reduces In
nammatlon. allays main. cures wind collie. 2c bottle
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-07-29
A WARNING.

Man at Telephone-Let me have the
gas Office, please.
Operator-Certainly But you know
we don't allow any swearing over our
lines
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-07-02
Mythical Creatures Of Japan.

The Japanese believe IN more myth
fcal creatures than amy other people on
the globe. civilized o' savage. Among
them are mythical nJlmas without
any remarkable pecutiarties Of con-
formation. but gifted with supernat-
ural attrihItes. such as tiger which
is said TO live tn he II thousand years
old and TO turn ns white as a polar
bear. They also believe IN n multitude
of animals Distinguished mainly by
their size or by the multiplication Of
their members. Among these are SER
pents 800 fest long and large enough
TO swallow al elephant foxes with
eight legs. monkeys with four ears.
fishes with ten heads attached to one
body, the flesh of which is a cure for
boils. They also believe in the exist
ence OF crane which. after II has
reached the age of 600 years. has no
need Of any sustenance except water.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-07-02

LaAn
with Bill
Corners
casped hands
the afternoon physical
cuusts the
Of the training
JEFF wonderful specimen of
his
exboiermaker heir money
Liverpool today.
est type Of mankind and often wish
Think being able
comfortably
r. Harding Davis Alfred
he
although
Divorce notes. for the first time, been
Of the
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-07-02
Rlamad the Last ons.

A man who from all appearances
had dined well, but not wisely. bought
a ticket at the box office of theater
where farce was being produced in
German. The man settled comfortably
back in his seat, smiling at the pretty
stage setting and evidently prepared
to enjoy an evening of pleasant diver
sion. After time be began to look
worried and leaned forward in his
seat. -
"Strangest thing ever sperienced." he
muttered.
A few minutes later he left the thea
ter. At the door the ticket talxer Of
fered him return.
Nope; don't want IT, he said az he
brushed It aside. Guess that last
drink went to my head. Can't under
stand a blamed thing them people
a-sayin'. I'm goln' home to bed
Philadelphia Times.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-07-02

HAD A VOICE LIKE A FodHoRN.
see farther and hear better than any
other bird or animal that lives. II
man had the sight of an owl at night
he would have no need of gas or cleo
tricity. The finest print could be read
anywhere at midnight.
This owl had habit twas III.
And his wife she protested until
She saw twas In vain
To say II again
And get new peck from his bill.
Naturalsts have asked each other
the question. "Why does an owl hoot
at night?" but none of them can find
sensible answer. AS long as night
is the time when he searches for his
food. why make a noise and drive him
away? Every bird on Its perch hears
that hoot to realize the danger. So do
the rabbits and field mice and frogs.
An owl may hoot to call his mate, but
why should he call when he knows
she can find her way back TO the nest
without trouble? The lion roars as
night comes on. but that is to tell all
other animals that he is big Injun and
that he can hunt them out, no matter
where they fee, but an owl hasn't that
vanity. A French naturalist says that
1t is because he is in love with his
own voice, the same as most public
speakers, and we may let it go at that.
He'd voice like horn in a fog.
And he'd below away like a frog.
He'd hoot half the night
And give folks flight
And keep the old farmer agog.
On still night an OWLS hootl can
be heard two miles. IL man had
voice in comparison he could speak to
another twenty-five miles distant and
cut down the profits of the telephone
companies. The owl has no songs
When he gets ready to hoot he just
gets good brace with his feet, throws
his head back and lets her go and
hangs on to the 100000" as long as
possible. The appetite of the owl has
wide range. He preys on every sort
OF bird, rats, rabbits, mice. chickens.
grubs, frogs, fish, crabs. birds and
hens eggs. He can't break into hen
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-07-02

Senator Thomas p. Gore, the blind
statesman from Oklahoma, who re-
Gently caused what was undoubtedly
the largest sensation of the present
session OF congress, by declaring in
the Senate that he has been approach
ed with $4,000 bribe in connection
with legislation affecting the million
in attorneys fees claimed by attor-
neys for services rendered to the Five
Civilized Tribes in Oklahoma. The
blind statesman also stated that an
effort was also made to bribe n MEM
ber of the House. He also charged
that a former United States Senator
from Kansas City and a former Unit
ed States Senator from Nebraska had
been working i'm Washington to kill
the Threatened legislation.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-07-02
The English Pheasant.

II Is claimed that the pheasant of
the English preserves can trace its ped
igree directly TO the brilliant bird of
the same species in Japan. About the
middle of the nipeteenth century
few live pheasants were brought from
Japan and crossed with the common
species. The result of this was, 1t Is
said. that new race of birds was in
troduced, and the beautiful pheasant,
with its iridescent plumage. was pro-
duced and naturalized as an English
bird.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-07-02

"I thought" said be. that those peo-
pie treated you so badly, and now seei
They invite you to their reception.
Shall you goT
"wby, certainly" said she. "Thelr
inviting me showed they harbored no
grudge against me for the way they
treated me."-New York Press.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-07-02
Wall hnev,ered.

"Oh, no; don't claim to be any DIFF
ferent or any brighter than the bal
ance of mankind. expect | shall mar
ry some fool woman some of these
days"
'1f you ever marry that's the kind Of
a woman you will marry, all right
Rochester Union.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-07-02
Sweet Alice.

Don't you remember sweet Alice. Ben
Bolt
Sweet Alice whose hair was so brown.
Who always was dressed in the very best
style
And charmed all tho fellows In town?
Sweet Alice has ceased to give gladness.
Ben Bolt.
She has given up caring at all.
She went out with a fool for Joy ride
one night,
And they tried to run through a stone
wall.
Chicago Record Herald.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-07-02
As Now.

'"Rome was not built in day"
"I'll bet It wasn't II Romulus was
any real contractor he probably put
up bunch OF scaffolding and then
laid off for year or two."-Cleveland
Leader
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-07-02
DR.A.A.THOMEN
$50 North Washington Ave.
Columbus, Ohio.
The Two Occasions.

; At Scotch temperance meeting an
old man. scarcely celebrated for his 80
briefly. arose and after addressing the
audience upon the desirability of mod
Grafton In all things. remarked;
my friends, there's just twa occa-
sions when ! TAX whisky"
3 There was a chorus Of 'Ahsp' In the
audience. when he continued. II only
TAX whisky when ! hae haggis for
dinner, and the only other occasion
when ! TAX whisky is when hae no
haGgis for dinner"
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-07-02
a TeIItaIe Touch.

as II true that sightess people can
tell the color of things by touchr
some one asked blind man.
Occasionally, yes" came the an
swer. "If, for instance. touched a
redhot poker could tell it was red"
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-07-02
A Serious Matter.

81 suppose we will soon be hearing
the joke about the big fish that got
away"
my friend" replied the fisherman,
"with food at present prices the fish
that gets away is not joke. 1t Is a
calamity. y."-Washlngton Star.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-07-02
Took Precautions,

"I want to hire canoe"
Accustomed to rowing one, sup.
poser?
"Neyer was In one"
Scan you swimT"
mot stroke"
swell, you pay double and in ad-
vance. I've been left In the lurch by
enough Observation-Disclosures Ledg-
er.