davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-04-23
MEN AND WOMEN WANTED
The United States Government Gives
Railway Mail Clerks $500 Year to
Start, and Increases to $1,000.

Uncle Sam will hold an examination
for Postal Clerks and Letter Carriers
in Rock Island in November: for other
positions on different dates. It is esti-
mated that $4,000 appointments will
be made this year. The Government
wants people over Is years TO take the
examination; will pay them well and
give them an annual vacation with full
pay. The Bureau of Instructions.
Rochester, n. Y, with it's thorough
knowledge of all the requirements can
fit anyone in a few weeks 20 pass. 4
Government Position means emplo>-
ment for life. Prepare now for the ex-
animation. Any reader of The Argus
can get full information by writing the
Bureau of Instructions, "A Hamlin
Building. Rochester, N. Y.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-04-23

I the outlaws aud works assiduousfy tc
evoke them In boisterous riot Of laugh
ter. He was the man of feeling, the
tender hearted old fellow, the owner
Of heart as gentle as any that ever
beat.
His Many Personal Sorrows.
Mark Twalus life was not a rose
bed. He walked no primrose path He
encountered stumbling places and had
steep bills OF dIlnculty to climb. And
be had sorrows that bit and griefs that
bludgeoned. At the close OF his life,
so far as relatives were concerned, he
was almost alone In the world.
Ills best loved daughter, Susy, died
in America when he was in Europe
His story of her death in his autobiog
raphy Is a piece of pathos seldom sur
passed. His wife, who was Miss Olivia
Langdon OF Elmira. n. Y, his compan-
ion for many years, died in Italy after
vain wanderings for the restoration of
her health. He built a big country
home near Redding, Conn, and settled
down to continue growing old as grace
fully as he could with his two remain
ing daughters, Clara and Jean. In Ne
vember of 1869 Clara married q for
eigner and went abroad to live. Jean
was left with him. On the day before
Christmas, with a Christmas tree for
her father trimmed by her own hands
in one Of the rooms, Jean Clemens was
found dead in her bathtub, having
been seized with an epilepdc fit and
drowned.
When Marx Twain was fifty years
old and worth about $1,00e,0oo pub
fishing firm In which he was a part
ner became bankrupt. He lost his for
tune and was involved heavily IN debt
He set to work, made a lecturing and
writing tour around the world and III
ten years had paid OF his Indebtedness
and again was ahead of the wolf BY
that time he had become so universally
famous that his work commanded its
own price Thereafter he could write
or rest as he chose, and he chose to
write much.
Mark Twatn's writing life began in
his pilot days and continued up TO his
death-half a century of devotion 10
the art OF making people happy. For
several years he was simply a hard
working newspaper reporter and spe-
ciai correspondent, searching for gold
In Nevada and California between Jobs
at journalism which grubstaked him
for prospecting. But he found his
purest and most paying streak of ore
when in 1857 he wrote THE Jumping
Frog of Calaveras County" That
story. picked up in q mining camp. was
his first promising literary prospect.
He had struck the mother lode.
Printer, pilot, reporter. humortst,
novelist, philosopher-he is safely en-
balmed to enduring fame.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-04-23
BnLY,s PRIVATE MAIL.

Dear Tom-Of course YOU didn't
miss the two-line headed howl of our
old college chum, Anthony ]. Drexel
Sr., on a $175 breakfast bill at one OF
the New York hotels. His order was
for eggs and coffee, but it is to be sup
posed he had a few slices of bread
thrown in for good measure. He set
tied the account, and departed from
the city in disgust, according to the
newspaper stories The inference is
that Anthony is contending for a prin-
ciple, inasmuch as his greenery is re-
puted to be stocked to the tune of at
least sixty millions.
You and I and the rest of We NOR
tails of ordinary sized velvet rolls have
had the protest pedal on full pressure
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-04-23
Chords and DiscOrds

purchased the ticket then went to the
pawnshop and redeemed it and receiv-
ed his 81. Now who was the loser by
the transaction? This is a question
asked by a bonehead. l would say
that any one with or without brains
could readily see the answer. In fact
it is so simple that I am ashamed to
take the trouble to explain it to any
one who can not solve it for himself.
The sucker in the case is the friend
who pays $3.50 for the man who needs
SO for transportation. He thought that
he had a bargain at first and was on
his way home to tell his wife about it
most probably when ne discovered that
he had been sold" Originally he paid
$3.50 for the pawn ticket. He then
had to pay an additional $3.50 to re-
deem the ticket and of course did not
discover his mistake till he found that
he had expended SO and had received
but 50. PIETRO F.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-04-23

ever lived. Even In his most humor-
GUS books we find that he has INSIDE
accurate transcripts of the things
which impressed him. Though he ex.
aggerated. privilege belonging TO his
profession, one can read between the
lines the tnherinR truth. He was an
inveterate foe to shams OF every sort
and apparently knew his highest hap
piness when with droll sarcasm ne
punctured a popular fraud with his
pen
But Mark Twain often wrote books
Just because he had the story to tell
The tale Of tom Sawyer" is one OF
these. and the "Huckleberry Finn"
book is another. Each of these is tTue
to hfe-to boy life. Rudyard Kiphng IS
said to have remarked that he wuzld
rather be the author Of tom Sawyer"
than all OF bis own works.
1.-THE Innocents Abroad" of course,
always will be associated with Marx
Twain's name as one of his most char
acteristic books, but that may be be-
cause It was his first big work and
won for him the fame and the for
tune which enabled him to write what
he pleased.
Mark Twain's name was Samuel
Langhorns Clemens, but it WIS used
chiefly as q vessel wherein universe
ties hung LII. d. handles. He was
"Dr. Clemens three times over. but
the distinction never spoiled him.
With no school learning save such as
he gained from a few years attend
snce ut the village school in Hannibal,
Mo, his scholastic titles were earned
by literary work which the whole
world accepted.
He Was Intensely Democratic.
Mark Twain was intensely demo
cratic. He was easily approachable,
and he never emitted any bears grOwl
or lions roar. Even the humblest per
son was made to feel at ease in his
presence. Shrinking reporters sent to
interview him quit their shrinking and
pulled up when they found him as
easy to interview as the aspiring au-
thor of the poem published in the low
er corner of the town weekly. He
could talk on any topic, even the
weather, and glorffy It with his hu-
NOR. If the insistent attention be
slowed upon him was distasteful TO
him he did not permit the fact to be
known. Mark Twain was one of the
pclitest men I ever knew. He was
considerable Of the feelings OF others
and therein Hes the soul OF poIiteness.
Those obsessed by the notion tbat 1t
was impossible for Mark Twain TO
open his mouth without saying some
thing funny should revise their i'm
pressionS OF him. In the course OF his
last visit to his boyhood home at Han
nibal in the summer of 1902 be said
solemn things In the most digniaed
manner possible. Several times he was
so deeply touched by the pathos of the
occasion, his meeting with boyho0d
friends then grown old like himself,
his visit to the graves of his parents,
that his voice quavered and broke, and
the inevitable tears trickled down his
face. He was overcome with emotion,
conquered by tender sentiment, and
those Of US whose privilege it was to
observe him upon these occasions went
away with a new notion as to Mark
Twain. BE was not the mere jester,
not the buffoon who sees in life only
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-04-23

best of friends. and l wouldn't for the
world say anything mean about her,
but. really. she is disappointment.
She seems such a helpless creature -
But. dear, it is not wholly her fault.
A husband can be such an aid to a
woman
q always thought he was strong
and kind and generous towards his
family"
4 imagine he does the best he can.
Naturally. a man is discouraged when
he does not have a cheerful home. She
gives up too easily; that seems her
chief weakness"
They get along well?"
q always supposed so until little
things l have heard of late. One can't
believe everything one hears, but you
know the adage where there is a whole
lot Of smoke there is sure to be some
fire But let's be charitable"
BY all means. But why does she
allow her children to dress so shah
billy? They were until here recently
among the most fashionably dressed
at school Suppose the bank account
is growing weak?"
Just possible, although l had heard
no hint of it. Still we all have a
license to think"
OUR INSIDE IMPORTATION BUREAU.
Alfred I've are always glad to
counsel a young man contemplating
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-04-23

possible that he made amends by tip
ping the hat boy a bone and freely
dispensing of his green's among others
of the fawning menials who fused
over him on his way to the getaway
depot. BILLY.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-04-23
THOSE LOVING FRIENDS.

"Oh, yes; We usually include ne1
in our list of guests when we have
affairs at our home. It's not easy to
snub one who comes from the excel
lent family that she does
"Of course you know we are the
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-04-23
HARD LUCK FOR PAT GROVE
CUdahy Kidnaper Is Held Up and
Robbed i'm Ohio Town.

Mansfield. Ohio, April 23.-Pat
Grove, the kidnaper of Eddie Cudahy
and later evangelist, was held up and
filed complaint against John Burns, a
paroIed Ohio reformatory prisoner,
who is held in $4,000 bond.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-04-23

a - III VA - ~ -
to another. He
had but s. and
the cost of
[ h Q ticket
which would
furnish him
trans pOrtatiOn
was SO. Seeing
that he was in
a tight place,
he began to
think how he
could get to
the other city
and not have
TO ride as a
hobo or upon
borrowed mon
ey. He finally
discovered a
way and TINS
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-04-23

Rock Island-I thought you would
like to know of joke on -- -,
whose home is in my neighborhood.
1t happened on a warm night a few
weeks ago. AS near as my wife could
learn from the other women in the
neighborhood he had been at some
social function where wine was served.
His wife was out of the city at the
time. When he reached the house, he
sat down on the porch to smoke and
bask in the moonlight. He fell asleep,
and did not waken until he was thor
oughly soaked by rain that came on
suddenly. | would not want to say
that he was intoxicated, but it would
not be much trouble for you to learn
whether he was or not, and when you
were sure of the facts print the story.
All of the neighbors have been dis
GUESSING the incident, and they have
been wondering why the paper had not
told ABOUT it. These are the kind of
news items your readers want. Now
that 1 have furnished you his name.
I hope you will see to it that the full
story is printed.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-04-23

Is how he did it: He went to pawn
shop and pawned his 81 for $3.50 and
then went to a friend and disposed of
his pawn ticket for the other neces-
sary $3.50. He then wendell his way
to the other city The friend who had
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-04-23
BY RODERTUs LOVE.
\ II ARK TWAIN is dead!

81 ~ ARK TWAIN is Oe3Q!
NE The king is dead-long live
the king. But there is no
heir. either apparent or pre-
gumptive. The throne of humor, whose
kingdom was the world. is empty. The
scepter that swayed the universal
heart-the pennies idle at last. The
empire of laughter and also OF tears
which this king OF the writing craft
founded and which he fostered for
nearly fifty years is become ss whirl-
Ing dust in the abyss of the things that
were. Only there remains the heritage
OF the dead rulers kindly philosophy,
his droH fun. his quips and Jest1nss
and his pathoS.
Mark Twain became before he died
the most famous man on earth. He
was not merely a man; he was an in
stitution. He was a sort of neighbor-
hood settlement OF good cheer, with
many branches located in the GASES as
In the waste places, where admission
and refreshment were free to all. MIL
lons-how many millions is beyond
estfmating-came and partoOk of his
wine of optimism and stayed for sup
per. His fame was and is universal.
u
Of Missouri. he belonged to all lands.
He had Travelled in all lands and lived
In most of them He had more near
permanent homes perhaps than any
other man of his day. Nearly always
he was q wanderer, sometimes from
necessity, more frequently from choice.
The world was his piaything. and he
was not content without remappilg
for himself the entire surface OF the
big ball
Of Most Striking Appearance.
He was a man of most striking ap-
pearance-the kind that attracts atten-
ton anywhere in a crowd and causes
others to take a second look. In his
later years his shock-ne, hts crown
of hair, perfectly white and glossy like
nne spun silk. became his trademark of
recognition by strangers wherever he
went I have seen q woman who new
er before saw Mark Twain pick him
put without opera, glasses, though she
vat In the top gallery Of Carnegie hall
and he occupied a lower box near the
stage. and the great house was crowd
ed. He had no doubles as TO personal
Rppearance-there was only one Of
him.
And there was only one of Mark
Twain as a literary syndicate. 1t has
become the fashion to describe him as
the great American humorist. This
undoubtedly he was, but he was more.
His appreciation Of Joan Of Arc, first
published anony mously, is accepted by
critics OF acumen as one OF the most
refined works in the serious literature
of the nineteenth century. The book
won its way before Mark Twain ad-
United its paternity. While he was
writing the Joan classic he worked
time and time about, on that amazing
funny masterpiece, 'Pudd 'nhead VII
SON." He simply couldn't be serious
altogether for stated period.
Never Altogether Funny.
Nor must we take it for granted that
E1ark Twain, summing up his career
as a writer, ever was altogether funny
He never was. He was one of the
al nhe Of
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-04-23

FROM EDITORS WASTE BASKET.
The Rock Island - lodge is to
hold the last of its winter series of
card parties Thursday evening, and
the members are bending every effort
to secure a record breaking attendance.
An extra supply of tables has been Sc
cured so that all will be accommodated.
The more the merrier is the lodge
motto, as our many friends, members
and those who do not belong to our
noble order. appreciate and will tes-
tify to. We have no hesitaucy in
claiming that we have the finest lodge
in the city today. taking into cOnsid-
Grafton the character of our member
ship. etc. and this is said without
meaning to reflect on any of our
brother or sister lodges in our city
For Thursday evenings games seven
magnificent prizes donated by our
merchants, whose names will be an
nounced at the party. are to be pre-
scented to the best players. 1t is urged
that ali who can attend, not only to
contest for the valuable prizes. but to
be witnesses of the drawing for the
grand seasons prize. This is a beau
tiful Morris chair Numbers have
been given out at each party to those
who attended. The holder of the lucky
number must be in the hall Thursday
evening to receive the prize. A small
charge of 10 cents will be collected
at the door. One lady will be admitted
with each man paying at the door.
Unescorted ladies will have to pay
the full price.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-04-23
Its 20 Years Dividend Record

The annual dividends for 1906, 1907 1908 and 1909
have been 81. The American Telephone and Tele-
graph Cox and its predecessor the American Bell Tele
phone Coz have never paid less than ms annual
dividends during the past Is years.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-04-23

embarkation on the matrimonial sea-
1t is unfortunate that you ind 1t I'M
possible to determine a choice between
two young ladies on whom you nave
been sharing your affections. 1t
strikes us that you are up in the air,
and that you will be there as long as
you hesitate in reaching a decision
Doubtless either would be satisfac-
tory helpmate, but, for our part, we
believe We would lean towards the one
who understands the science of cook
ing and knows how to operate the
sewing machine without keeping re-
pair man busy. Number two may be
more decorative as a ballroom flower,
but we don't imagine, since you admit
that she frowns on the idea of bend
ing over a cook stove, that she would
get you very far in the event of
crimp in the family exchequer necesSi-
tating elimination of the kitchen pay
roll
D. L. Owe would consider the
leader of any band or orchestra in the
trt-cities as competent person to con-
suit in reference to taking lessons on
the cornet. Requisites to successful
and harmonious mastery of the instru-
ment we would think first. to be toler-
ant neighbors, and secondly, good
wind-staying qualities.
Frederick L.: Many of our friends
use the safety razor, and they appear
to be getting along all right without
the assistance of the barber, excepting
when in need of a hair cut. You be-
ing a nervous man, of course there is
one hazard in using the improved
scraper on the face We have known
some men to disfigure their faces try
ing to eat green peas off table knife.
Doc l.: 1t has been said that a col
ored fighter is stronger in summer
than in winter and it is just possible
that Johnson put one over on Jeff when
he secured an agreement to hold their
mill on the Fourth of July. However,
there are no presidents to show that
a white scrapper suffers any disadvan-
tage in a show of his scientific and
physical powers by reason of the sea
son of year in which he fights against
a black. We have refrained from ad-
vising any of our friends tieing up their
surplus on the outcome of the meet
ing between Jeff and Johnson. In the
first place. there is plenty of time yet,
and then you will have an opportunity
to change your mind if you hold on TO
your pile a little longer. We heard a
boy who shines our shoes at the barber
shop remark the other day, after hav
ing had a run of poor luck with the
bones. that it was an off year for his
race in sporting matters, and that he
had decided not 10 back his color on
July +. If you see any bunch in that,
make the best of it.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-04-23
WHO GOT STUCK?

Matherville, III, April 22.-Dear Edi-
tor: A man recently wished to travel
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-04-23
Compare this Stock with Others

or net income yield it stands at the top of the fol-
wing list of high class investment securities The
ices are current Stock Exchange quotations on the
" of this writing, March oath. 1910:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-04-23
Never Altogether Funny.

Nor must we take it for granted that
kfark Twain, summing up his career
as writer, ever was altogether funny.
He never was. He was one of the
closest observers of human nature and
institutions, places and things, that
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-04-23

OUR INSIDE INFORMATION BUREAU.
Alfred I've are always glad to
counsel a young man contemplating
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-04-23
What is This Great Company?

Organized in 1885, The American Telephone Tele-
graph Co., owned and operated long distance and toll
lines throughout the U. S. and Canada. In 1900 it
took over the American Bell Telephone Co.. together
with control of 35 Bell Companies, covering the
United States and Canada. 1t also controls the
Western Electric Co., largest makers of telephone
instruments and equipment in the world. 49,.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-04-23
Its Stupendous Property Assets

The holdings of actual. tangible, physical property
of the Bell system amount to over 5000 900 OO0-ex-
ceeding the total capital liabilities by OOO
Yet these assets do not include the ncaculabe value
of rights of way. patent rights, franchises, etc.
rights of way alone having cost $8.000000.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-05-02
ROOSEVELT RESUMES
HIS MILITARY GARB
Residents Of Dutch villages
Fall TO Recognize Tourist.

Amsterdam, May 2.--For the first
time since his arrival in Paris Roose.
velt's cavalary coat and sOmbrero
made their temperance for the au-
tomobile trip from The Hague to Am.
sterdam, but their fame had not
reached Holland. for their wearer
was not recognized In the villages en-
route. In HARLEM, however, where
the party broke their journey to visit
the flower show and to see Franz
Hale's pictures in the old town hall,
usual crowd had cheered the family
on departing from The Hague. and
Harlem took up the ovation, giving
Roosevelt rapturous reception.
When the party arrived at Amster-
dam. one OF the largest crowds that
has greeted Roosevelt on his Euro.
pean rip awaited him in the square
outside the imposing Ryks museum.
Here the Burgomaster and the direc.
tor Of the museum showed the party
Rembrandt's pictures, including the
might Watch" his largest and most
celebrated work, and then Rem
brandt's The Masters of the Guild"
This half hour was the most peaceful
Roosevelt has yet spent on his trip.
The other occupants of the gallery
sat or stood behind him, silent or
talking In subdusd whispers.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-05-02
Call for State Democratic
Convention.

Pursuant to the order of the
Democratic State Central Committee,
notice is hereby given that the con-
vention Of the Democrats OF the state
OF Ohio to nominate candidates for
state offices to be voted for at the
November election. 1910, will be held
at Dayton, Ohio, or
Tuesday and Wednesday, June II
and %, 1910.
Each county will be entitled to one
delegate and one alternate for each
500 votes cast for Judson Harmon for
Governor of Ohio, at the November
election. 1908. and one additional
delegate and alternate for the re-
malnder of votes exceeding ESQ.
The prescribed number OF delegates
to this convention shall be elected as
the controlling committee of each
county designates and in the man
ner prescribed by statute.
The delegates will meet by dis
trlcts at three o'clock p. M. Tuesday.
June 21st, 1910. at such places as may
be designated by the committee on
Arrangements for the purpose Of
selecting one member OF each Of the
following committees: State Central
committee, Resolutions, Credentials
Rules and Order OF BUSINESS. Per-
mansnt Organization. Vice President
and Secretary All Of such commit
tees will meet at places to be desiG-
mated by the Committee on Arrange
ments at four O'Clock, p. m. OF the
same day. The c0nveution will be
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-05-02
NOTED SCULPTOR is DEAD
John Quincy Adams Ward viii BE
Burisd In Urbsns (o.) Cematery.

New York, May 2.--John Quincy
Adams WARD. the sculptor. who has
been III since February last, died at
his residence here. Just before his
death Mr.. Ward was at work on a
seated ststuette OF August Bnlmont
Mr.. Ward leaves widow. sister.
Miss Elanor Ward, Of urbana. o.; a
stepson, r. Ostrander Smith, Of Chi
cago, End sister-in-law, Mrs. Edgar
Ward, OF this city. The funeral will
be at IL O'Clock tomorrow morning.
at the house, and the remains will
be taken to Urbana. .....-