davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13

A Yankee,. walking the streets or
London, looked through window
upon a group Of men writing very
rapidly, and one Of them said to him
In an insulting manner, DO you wish
to buy some gape-seed? ?" Passing on
a short distance, the Yankee met
man and asked him what the business
of those men was In the office he had
Just passed. He was told that they
wrote letters dictated by others, and
transcribed all sorts OF documents; In
short, they were writer's. The Yankee
returned to the office and inquired II
one OF the men would write a letter
II him, and was answered In the al
firmative. He asked the price and
was told 81. After considerable talk
the bargain was made-one Of the con-
ditions OF which was that the scribe
should write just what the Yankee
told him to, or he should receive no
pay. The scribe told the Yankee he
was ready to begin, and the latter
said:
Dear marm," and then asked,
Have you got that deown"
YES" was the reply. 60 on"
II went to ride t'other day; have
you got that deown?"
YES; go on, go on
"And / harnessed up the old mare
into the wagon; have you got that
deown?"
"Yes, yes, long ago. Go on"
why, how fast you write And I
got into the wagon, and sat deown
and drew up the reins, and took the
whip in my right hand: have you got
that deown?"
Eyes, long ago; go on"
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13
BY gibson GARDNER

The Roosevelt trip to the west Is
now history. As member OF the
party, conclude from what | saw
and heard:
THAT Roosevelt never was strong
or In the favor OF the country.
THAT Roosevelt is determined 10
take an active part in the affairs OF
the nation.
3-That the leadership OF his party
must inevitably be his.
4EThat his leadership will be
along progressive" lines.
5-That the Taft administration has
not been Endorsed.
6-That Taft will not receive
Roosevelt's support for a second
term.
THAT the Roosevelt influence will
be cast In favor of some progressive
candidate to succeed Taft.
s-That a popular demand Will be
heard for Roosevelt himself as can
didate.
e-That other men likely to be con-
sidered for the Republican presiden-
tial nomination are LaFollette, Cunt
minis. Dolliver, Pinchot, Garfield aud
Beverage.
/ 10-That the progressives will con-
troll the next Republican national con-
yention only after straight-out fight
with the present reactionary members
of the party who control the organiza-
zion.
1l-That the presidential campaign
Of 1912 already has begun.
12-That the standpat element In
the Republican party will make de-
fensive fight, rallying to Taft and a
second term.
13-That big business will divide Its
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13
From Another Point of View


all In.
But, will storage7
II tn other been easy as Cleveland
Again with the last Republican nom
Republican
ncet
haven't for Owens
thanO their money
We to Uncle Sans ft for
probably will not be sent
the beef packers restraint Of trade
8 restraint oil beefsteak
probably II
wave are he oni Atlantic City that are sad
In
well IL he declined to sit with Taft
To the I am thinking attending college a .
sprnter would advise study E. T. H
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13
TWO MINUTE VAUDEVILLE
BY FRED ScHAEFER.

Thud Well the other evening
Tuesday-it was good and dark al
ready came to your house
Slap And l wasn't home!
Thud: No you weren't at home. but
| thought you were. So butted right
in without ringing.
Slap: All, ha-a-a-a! Proceed"
Thud: Expecting to find you there
alone. WE'LL encountered dark
figure in the gloom and not knowing
IL was your wife | walked right up TO
her and seized her by the arm
Slap: Hound! And she?
Thud: She said: AT last my pray.
ers are answered! He does not smell
of whisky tonight"
Slap: Ha-ha-ha-ha! Good Joke on
nv wife, Ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha-hal
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13
Uniform.

Bobby-Honest, is there twins at
your house?
Tommy-Honest! An they're Jest
alike.
Bobby-Built Jest the same way. or
are they rights and lefts?-Toledo
Blade.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13
BY Fred Schaefer.

Thud: Say, got confession to
make to you.
Slap: Oh. are you the crook who's
been swiping the mornings milk of
my front porch?
Thud: No; this is something aw-
full serious. I don't know how you'll
take Il. But have to square myself.
Slap: Well, go ahead. But be care
full; I'm nightly quick-tempered.
Thud: know you are. But, on the
level. this was a mistake, an innocent
mistake. II concerns your family, and
that makes 1t all the worse. wish
I'd died before ii happened.
Slap: Tell me what 1t was. I'm get
ting nervous. What was It?
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13
The Hero Of the pay.

In century the ideal hero has
changed a number of times. He has
Excessively been hairy poet. a cav
o1ry lieutenant In dazzling uniform, a
beoad-browed- doctor and later an en-
kfneer of genius. Today the hero rs
= sporfsman--who can fy.-Cri de
Paris.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13
A SAILORS HANDS.

A sailor is betrayed by his hands.
though his gait might betray him.
They are permanently half shut. Walk
ing, talking or sleeping the sailor has
his hands half shut and could not open
them fiat II he tried. This Is the re-
suit OF years OF climbing and pulling
ropes.-London Chronicle.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13

Ted Grimes. an Australia barber,
shaved So men I'm 80 minutes, and Is
now champion shaver He would have
gone on shaving. but he had shaved
everything in sight. The previous
shaving record was IL men In an
hour.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13

(. Read it backwards or forwards.
~ population of Cincinnati, as an
.mfnced by the census bureau. 10
~ The Same. 364.4sa
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13

Detroit -. Aep s."msro ~n' NOMINEE FOE
MAYOR have failed to com
upon his camped quarters the shortcomings of his library
placed hands this day would un
1ubtsdly be welcome a great relief
placed his hands today and Mrs Owens would
gobaby give up present her china painting
good upon, work that Mr. and Mrs
0tss d.
DOLLARS would than Mr. Owens
meager practice Owens with her gift in handling
>ks brush would be able lay by in TwENTYFI YEARS
represent than twice the amount Mr.
would be able Of salary mayor Of Detroit
MI 5000 year. g.
AND THAT rs THE EXACT BEEN OFFERED TO
WITHDRAW FROM HIS PLACE AT THE THE REPUBLICAN
CITY TICKET.
And that is the promptly emphay TURNED
DOWN
Proctor Owens may be an accident" "jok Repub
Mean NOMINEE FOR MAYOR.
may utterly unqualified head the Republican city ticket in
e eyes Of candidates the ticket
His presence upon important position which he
may sending these Republican candidates down to
dea they will have occasion ever for
leelng ashamed of their running mate
would be exactly the father the prn
pes in platform mayor may different matter there might
should desired the Of public confidence but the
his nomination though have been accident
Republican party finds the head Of its ticket who stands
~ PRINCIPLES which perhaps s the REAL joke
In for the mayor the Republican party
locally has come GOTTEN TO COME
rathy with the popular people Detroit
heard Of being disgrace to be
condemned outcast from society
because he failed pass examination in college.
who didn't when
they kept peeverng they reached the goal for which
they struck
And kind whom would EXPECT
is turn down an offer of TEN THOUSAND they step
No the goal
esndd seeking public Office good faith should welcome rather
Han strive to discredit belttle
may Mr. mayor but do know him already
with proper regard for and appreciation the
Nomination enough his ambition reach
hat he against weight desperate
tartys money.
candidates could BUY Mr. and
ACCEPT him last attempt their political
newspapers reving him party purposes
HAVE CARE.
"jok" candidate discredited Republican city admna
en responsible the joke dsgruned and file
rsxty might make it a good
may mayor estimation Of ma
uri the cs voters but he least citizen
and commentator that his due for such sacred regard
ecs that would his slim hopeless
q reaching it. upon the auction block.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13

The new building of printing and
engraving being built in Washington
will cost s1,750,000.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13
Maine
Went


npon Maine
bad enough in Kansas California Vermont
Hampshire and Massachusetts, Michigan until this
Morning the Regulars heard from MAINE
EF DEMOCRATIC GOVERNOR
Cor the first time in 80 years.
Ss.4 Two Democratic congressman
Democratic Legislature of United States
cenator Hale
Mdrich, Burrows, Hale all gone
Maine the rokrbbed the Maine Of Blaine DEMOCRATIC
N This to settle it.
Verify Taft and his "b tariff bill passed" gone and
done it
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13
Sensational Exposure.

Customs Chief: Did you search that
man suspected?
Customs Official: The man who
acted as II he was trying to hide
something under his coat?
Chief: Yes. What was IL?
Oficial: The dirt on his shirt.
To die is landing on some silent
shore,
Where pillows never break, nor tenn
pests roar:
Ere we'll we feel the friendly stroke
It's o'ar. 81. Garth
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13
Hal We Believe
Now We See the Joke
In Owens Candidacy

n 10 . Republican ofsiceseeker.
Wants To Be Mayor, And He
Stands For Some Thlngs
Which the People OF
Detroit Want.
Ha, Ha!
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13

Proctor K. Owens Is a poor man.
He is not a brilliant lawyer and
his practice at the bar is not large.
His Office is small, nowhere near,
of course, as big as he would like to
have, and an addition to his library
would be welcome.
Reporters who have called upon
the Republican NOMINEE FOX
MAYOR have never failed to COM
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13

Much the same as the candidate who feels himself
asipping the election returns coming in and pin.
his faith to the fact that the result has not yet been re-
ported from the strongest precinct the Old Guard waited
Semi-weekly herald., 1910-12-05
LOUIS EckHoLM DIED SUNDAY.

The death occurred on Sunday, Nov
ember 27, of another of the old time
San Juaners, Louis Eckholm, who had
been a resident of this camp for the
past twenty-one years.
Mr.. Eckholm was taken with an at.
tack Of bronchial pneumonia and for
several days was confined to bed at
his home at the Hoffman house, and on
Thursday of last week was taken to
the Miners Union hospital, where,
after four days of intense suffering he
PASSED to the great beyond.
Louis Eckholm was born in Sweden
in 1858, being over AZ years of age at
the time of his death. lie came to
Colorado twenty-three years ago, all of
the time since with the exception of
two years having been spent in the
San Juan. He was unmarried and the
only relatives with which .ommunica.
tion has been had is niece, Miss c
Nelson, in Denver, and y cousin, C.
Nelson, at Pueblo. There is also a
brother in Sweden.
The deceased was widely and well
known throughout the San Juan and
had host of friends who will mourn
his death. He was, at all times. hon.
orable and upright in all lis dealings
and was held in the highest esteem.
and was a good citizen such as any
community is sorry to lose For many
years Mr.. Eckholm followed the min.
ing business and was at orr time the
foreman at the Gold Klrg mine. For
number OF years past he, in partner.
ship with VIM. Steele, has been in
the saloon business in Silverton. VIM.
Steele was appointed administrator
OF the estate Of the deceased.
The funeral was held from the Con.
gregation church on Wednes day after
moor to Hillside cemetery, the Rev
A. w. Pink officiating. Floral offer.
ings were both beautiful and numer.
Gus. A large number of friends ac
ccmpanied the remains to their last
resting place.-Silverton Miner.
Semi-weekly herald., 1910-12-05

Advertising and Printing committee
and the Durango Board of Trade fold.
er had been received recently from
the printer and were now being dis.
tributed The first edition of 15.OOo
copies that cost about 5000 for pho
tographs and printing. That $421 of
this cost would be paid by the La pla.
IA county commissioners and the bal.
ance would be paid by subscriptions
Member Jakway gave some valuable
information on the present state of the
Ft. Lewis school lands and improve.
ments
Directors Davis and Clay reported
on what the financial committee rec.
ommends for the maintenance of the
Durango Board of Trade. and on mo.
tion OF Director Clay it was voted that
the finance committee be instructed
to draw up graduated Classification
Of subscriptions upon an equitable has.
Is.
And as the present Assistant Sec
retary Jacob G. Wilson, owing to
his ardeous duties as city clerk can.
not promptly and personally collect
the money dues, and lool; after the
collection of subscriptions necessary
for the active work about 10 be com.
menced the Board of Directors by a
unanimous vote appointel G N Ray
riond as assistant secretary for two
months, to commence De- !, 1910 to
look after the collections, attend to
correspondence and other necessary
duties.
The preparation of the literary mat.
Ter for the folder of the San Juan
TO be issued by the rs.irv: 6 Rio
Grande railroad company on or about
| jan 1911, was given in charge Of
the assistant secretary by the direct
| ors.
Director Ste wart announced that the
sew Years edition oil the I)envcr
| News would contain write W 6i
The nIi;ies of the La Plt.a, mp .utains
by Captain Smith, the mining editor
OF the News.
Mrs. Pulford, ]. A. Clay and Frank
E'dredge were appointed as delegates
TO the American Apple congress TO be
held in Denver, Dec. 15-17, 1870.
The meeting adjourned at 1880
p m.
Semi-weekly herald., 1910-12-05

the Durango high school. The latter
are now students at the state univer-
sity. Mrs. o'Rourke will return to
Boulder In week or two.
Durango friends Of Miss Mona Carr
youngest daughter Of Mrs. Tim Carr u
Pagosa Junction, will be interested to
know that she Is student at the Lo
retta Heights Acsdemy near Denver
this year, and is getting along beauti
fully. Miss Mona is specializing In
music, and is said to be making rapid
progress. Last year the young lady
attended the Durango high school ant
made her home with her sister, Mrs. P
Mcclellan. While in this city Miss Carr
made great many friends who will
be pleased to hear OF her success.
Semi-weekly herald., 1910-12-05
IN HONOR OF MR. AND MRS.
A. e. FRITZ

The Young Married Peoples Bible
class OF the First NJ. e. church gave
farewell party for Mr.. and Mrs
e. Fritz, at the home of Mr.. and Mrs.
w. A Peterson, 1920 West Second
avenue last Tuesday evening. There
we're present: Mesdames Fritz, Dave,
Shaver, Maudlin, Ballard, Tompkins.
Green. Wilkins, Bey. Goodwin, Lee,
Melzar Ballard, Martin and the Messrs
Rev Rassweiler. Dr. Martin, Green,
Wilkins, Bey, Goodwin. Ballard and
Fritz.
Semi-weekly herald., 1910-12-05
-T,,ss Aouss or GOVERNORS.

BY holding its meetings at the state
capitals the governors conference en-
phasizes Its independence of Washing
ton. 1t is the hope of all enlighten-
Ell men. whethcr they believe In the
new nAtionaiism or old, in more
GENERALIZATION or more autonomy for
states and local communities. that
the house OF governors will develop
= high degree Of efficiency and con
str,ictive ability.
The states can do good deal by
voluntary cooperation. They can push
needed uniform legislation is various
directions: they can deal with such
problems as the distribution OF aliens
and their protection, the conservation
OF resources. the reinforcement of
healthy federal statutes relating to In
terstate commerce. The first need
and opportunity, as has been pointed
out, appear in connection with the
movement for direct election Of U. s.
senator's Here immediate and care
fully planned cooperation would pro-
duce positive, wholesome results.
Statesmen have warned the defend
ers OF home rule and autonomy that
the neglect, impotence and subser-
viency of legislatures and executives
will do more to strengthen federal
ism than all the speeches and articles
and platforms that can ever be writ
ten. 1t is impossible saneiy to watch
the course of events without appreciat.
ing the soundness of this view. 1t is
TO, the house OF governors-on OF
the hapiest Of our new institutions
pand reform agencies-to prevent the
oyerburdening of congress and the ma
tional executive by promoting more
aud better welfare work at the state
capitals. This years meeting in Ken
tdcky should mark a distinct step
forward-should give the people prom
ise of important achievements.
Semi-weekly herald., 1910-12-05

A number Of friends were at the
depot this morning to say goodbye to
MIR. and Mrs. A. F. Fritz and family
whp have resided here since last
March. Mr.. Fritz was proprietor OF
the Grand Union Tea and Coffee
store, which was purchased last week
BY Mr.. Morgan. the north side confec.
toner. Mr.. and Mrs. Fritz will spend
the holiday season with relatives In
Iowa and later journey to Wisconsin
their former home.
Semi-weekly herald., 1910-12-05

Uncle Joe Cannon and Champ
Clark are thinking of going to New
York for the purpose of parading on
foot up Broadway. What's the use
Cannon has already made show OF
himself and Clark is soon to have
a chance to do SO without being com.
PEELED to go to New York for the pur-
pose OF getting an audience.
Semi-weekly herald., 1910-12-05
A FAREWELL FOR ENSIGN
AND MRS. WARREN

A farewell for Ensign and Mrs. War.
ren will be given at Salvation Army
hall tomorrow night. These worthy
people have been transferred to the
division OF solicitors for the state OF
Colorado with headquarters in Denver
Their successors have not been appoint
ed.
Semi-weekly herald., 1910-12-05

has been in the capital city several
weeks.
Fillmore Hand is among the valley
visitors today.
Bayfield, schools are to have two
weeks vacation at the holiday sea
son.
Mrs H. W. Redman left for Marshall,
Mo-, on this mornings eastern in re-
sponse to a message that her moth
er was seriously i'll.
L. s. Gagg of Monte Vista. who is
purchasing cattle in this section went
over to Mancos this morning.
News comes from San Diego that Ed
holland is rapidly improving in health
since he has been in California.
Coulson brothers have purchased an
unusually large stock of goods to sup
ply their Christmas trade.
Farmer o. C. Silliman whom we all
knew as Merchant Silliman so many
years transacted business with local
statesmen today.
Mrs Nipa Nara1opd apd 1itJo cor,
of Oxford, left for Lamar this morning
| to spend the month with Mrs. More
lands parents.
A. e. Reece was In from the Flo
rida mesa today Mrs. Reece who
| has been seriously i'll at Mercy hospi-
tai is rapidly recovering.
Carl Hudson. a well-known Farming.
ton young man. was brought up this
morning, seriously Ill with appendicit.
is He was taken to Ochsner's hospi.
| ia. where he will undergo an opera.
| ton.
Mr.. and Mrs. e. w Deuel. and chill.
d,en left for Alamosa this morning
to make their future home. Mr.. Deuel.
having been recently transferred to the
| position OF assistant superintendent OF
The eastern portion of the fourth di.
vision of the d. & r. G. Mr. and Mrs
| Deuel. have host of warm friends in
| Durango who very much regret their
| departure.
Yesterday Mr.. and Mrs. w. B. Chap
pei and little daughter, came over from
| Cortez, where they have been located
for the past three months. This morn.
ing they departed for Denver, their old
| home.
Mrs. Nj. l.. Thompson nf Mancos re-
| turned from an extended visit in Den
ser and Kansas City Thursday night
and left for home this r1orning. She
vas the house guest of Mrs. Joe Cop
piDger, of North Du aEgo v hile in the
city.
Mr.. and Mrs. T. ]. Mcclure and
daughter, Mrs. Tobe Apperson. and
her children. left for Old Mexico this
morning to spend the winter months
Mr.. Mcclure is will be remembered
has extensive land interests in Diaz's
realm. Mr.. Apperson who accompa
MED his family as far as Durango, re
turned to his Spring creek ranch this
afternoon.
Semi-weekly herald., 1910-12-05

The Durango Board OF Trade can
do good work by helping get that
federal fish hatchery. The first ap.
preparation calls for $4,000 and there
win be more coming.
Semi-weekly herald., 1910-12-05
TEACHERS EXAMINATION

animation for teachers in La Plata
county. which will be held In the dis.
trict court room Dec. Is and 16. Exam
nation of high school teachers will be
held In the county superintendents
office Dec. II.
Semi-weekly herald., 1910-12-05

Census reports are beginning to
come in from Washington. but we have
have nothing on Durango's popula,
ton yet. 1t will be coming soon.
Semi-weekly herald., 1910-12-05

Mexican rioters are ditching trains
now and thus killing innocent women
and children. 1t is hoped that Diaz
may avoid delay in clapping them into
jail.
Semi-weekly herald., 1910-12-05

There is danger from spread of
contagious diseases in this county and
city. A strict quarantine should be
exercised over every case of scarlet
fever. diphtherla, and small pox.
Semi-weekly herald., 1910-12-05

Things are busy with us today. We
are short an office man and the first
Of the month rush is on-and we
have other matters on tab. Every.
thing is shaping up all right.
Semi-weekly herald., 1910-12-05

By the first of the year we shall be
able to telephone straight to Denver
via Bayfield, and Pagosa Springs, in
stea of as at present around by Silver
ton and Ouray.
The work of constructing the line
between Bayfield, and Pagosa Springs
was held up for few weeks on ac
count OF the failure of the contractor
furnishing the poles, etc, to complete
his contract in the given time. The
matter has now been arranged and
while the company has encountered
numerous difficulties in the way of bad
weather and the climate conditions
arising at this time of year which
makes the work slow in progressing
It is moving along steadily toward com
pletion.
District Manager C. T. Hopkins re
turned last evening from trip to Pa
gosa Springs and along the route oi
the new line. Mr.. Hopkins says that
two different gangs of men. about sew
enty-five in all, are engaged in the
work. One of these Is working near
Dyke about fourteen miles from Pa
gosa Springs. The other is located
on this side Of the Yellot Jacket, be-
tween Bayfield, and the top of the hill.
Allowing a reasonable margin for de
lays, Mr.. Hopkins thinks the line will
be completed by the holidays.
Semi-weekly herald., 1910-12-05

The Herald believes a strict en-.
forcement of the quarantine laws In
this county and city may prevent a
spread OF contagious diseases.
Semi-weekly herald., 1910-12-05

Japan has sent out an expedition to
discover the south pole. Is this quite
friendly to Japan's ally, the Hon. ].
Bull who has engaged in an expedi.
ton out hunting for the pole question.
Semi-weekly herald., 1910-12-05
MRS HOPKINS ENTeaTAlNs

Mrs. Charles Hopkins entertained
Wednesday afternoon. Each lady
brought the most important thing of
the time. her Christmas sewing. The
refreshments served were most dainty
and delicious. The guests were the
Mesdams Hubbard, Coulson, Fry, Carr
and Stewart.
Semi-weekly herald., 1910-12-05

Mrs. Pulford says the state educa-
t,ond authorities are In favor OF the
state industrial school at Ft. Lewis.
Let's keep them interested.
Semi-weekly herald., 1910-12-05

The German locomotive engineer
who runs his locomotive ten years
without m accident gets . government
reward.