Middletown transcript., 1910-05-28
THE coMET'S TAtL
Some Opinions of Our Local
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Astronomers
TIE TRANscRIPT gives below a buncl
of opinions about the comets tail from
some of our own citizens-people needn'i
think these high.priced sky.sharps have
any monopoly upon the subject; we car
proudly inform them-''there are others
that We keep Keplers and Galileos on
tap here ia MiddIetoWn with theories as
novel and as likely as some other peoples.
We thought this local talent should have
Q say and 30 we sent our astronomical
reporter around to pick up dozen or so
views which we give below.
|. One of cur tonsorial artists: sit was
g case of 80 close shave"
2. A dairymsn: ''Soms Of the Milky
Way got spilled up there"
8. A town politician /: "AW-g'Wsy-
nothin' but lot air. -
4. Henry Toy: "Comet he put he tail
roun' head likee Chinyman he cue |;
Mclean man see, ehT'
5. A leading physician: "It's possibly
case of cometary sxcised vermiform
appendix-but one can't make accurate
diagnoses at such distance"
6. A horsey man: "He's a goer. amt
he, tail or no tail!''
7. A knowing hostler: "Matter with
comets tail? Just been 'docked" d"-that's
ALL"
s. Pug fancier: "Hostler's got it straight |
they clip bull terriers tails same wsy,
don't they?
8. One Of our attorneys: 'The expert |
testimony in this case is very conflicting |
that class of evidence generally is. But
with reference to this cometary caudal |
appendage, Videlicit, tail-which we think |
it is clearly proven is gone-whether it
has been casually or feloniously shorn and
asported, and by whom, is not clear. l
would suggest that the sheriff issue his
writ OF "posse comet at us."
10. A leading merchant: "Fetch it
around, we'll retail it for you."
IL. Small boy: "Been fghtin' like our
cat what fit my dog Bob, and lost her
tall"
IL. The Chief: "This tail--if it's Off
you see now has no visible means of sup
port and under the law its liable to be
run in, amt it?''
Is. Theatre man at hotel: "Well, Hal.
ley's certainly played to big housesl But
pshaw it's been a bum show just the
same"
IA. A clergyman: "These sporadic celes-
tial visitations, while perhaps, serving no
beneficial theological purposes, viewed
from theological standpoint, neverthe-
less, as admonitory object-lessons from
out the inter-stellar vacuities, they may
apprise errant mortals of the
possibilities that may await
them when they shall have passed from
this mundane ephere if they fail to jack
up their wrong doings little bit"
Our reporter said this ''put him cold'
for minute. and he thinks he tasted sui
phur or smelt it.
Is. One Of our peachy girls: "Why, oh,
Mr.. Transcript man donchuknow, wish
we had HALEY comets, or any kind o.
comets, every night in the yearl Tom
thinks they're just fne-and so do I.
Indeed l do now," and the sweet thing
got ss red in the face as peony, no, some
peonies are white-as a-well--a boiled
lobster.
16. A teacher of zooIogy at the Acad-
amy: ''This scomet in the first instance
mad q tail-possibIy a prshensile one
ike the snthropoid apes. Now it seems
% be more properly likened to the An.
ywantibo, small lemuroid mamal, which
Dnly has rudimentary tail; but believe
he astronomers say another tail is grow
ng-so to speak coccygeal extension of (
ts Vertebral column"
Our reporter quit right there-said he
'ouldn't stand any more.