davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mathews journal. (Mathews C.H. [Court House]) 1903-1937, 1910-02-03
A Jacobs Story.

w. w. Jacobs, the humortst tells
the following story:
lawyer defending a man accused
OF housebreaking spoke like this:
Your Honor, i submit that my
client did not break into the house
AT all. lie found the parlor window
open and merely inserted his arm ara
removed few trifiing articles. Now.
my clients arm is not himself. and I
ram 10 see how you can punish the
whole individual for an offense com
mltted only by one Of his limbs"
That argument" said the Judge.
Is very well put. Following il log
ically, sentence the defen6ant's arm
10 one years imprisonment He can
accompany 4 or not. as he chooses. -
The defendant smiled, and with the
lawyers assistance unscrewed his
cork arm, and, leaving il on the
uock, walked out.-Success Magazine.
The Mathews journal. (Mathews C.H. [Court House]) 1903-1937, 1910-02-03
NO PART NERSHIP
IN INVESTIGATION
Pslihcs should Not Figure in BaIIIn-
ger-PiRehOt KRqairy.

When the Republicans Of the House
OF Representatives selected Ollie
James. OF Kentucky, and Mr.. Rainey.
OF Illinois, as their members of the
proposed joint committee to be charged
with investigating the Pinchot- Balm
ger controversy they indicated their
intention OF appealing to partisanship
and turning the inquiry into political
pastures. They could not have chosen
TWO men more intensely partisan than
these two.
Iheir attitude is deplorable. The
question OF conservation of natural re-
sources is altogether too grave a one
to be made a football Of. The country
is interested in the Pinchot matter
only as II shall tend to the establish
ment of a positive policy upon the
part OF the administration and of Con-
gress TO protect mineral lands. water
power, and forests from the greed of
monopolistic combinations. If this
vast problem is to be handled intelli-
gently and successfully and TO the
satisfaction Of the people, il must be
considered with one object solely in
View-the interests of the public. ANY
attempt, therefore, 70 switch what
should be a careful inquiry into a
political pyrotechnic exhibition for the
entertainment of Democrats looking
tor some sort of an issue" must and
will be resented.
II the investigation shall be con-
Quoted properly, il should have an
instructive value. Plain facts. upon
which Congress can act with intelli-
gence In the future, are precisely what
IS required. Political partisanship
Aas no place under such conditions
Philadelphia Inquirer.
The Mathews journal. (Mathews C.H. [Court House]) 1903-1937, 1910-02-03
WHAT VIRGINIA MIGHT DO.

Virginia had no hesitancy or doubt
in selecting George Washington and
Robert f. Lee out of all the vast COM
pany of her illustrious sons. No one
worth considering has questioned her
choice. If those who have control of
Statuary Hall do not choose to admit
Lee to the United States Capitol, Vir-
ginia can, with the utmost dignity, re-
serve the statue of Lee and leave a
vacant pedestal that will proclaim the
fame and place of Lee more loudly
than any statue ever cast, and that at
the same time will give mute evidence
that there are those who would still
keep sectionalism alive, in whose
hearts the fires of hate are still burn
ing
The Mathews journal. (Mathews C.H. [Court House]) 1903-1937, 1910-02-03

Devonshire man sent his club, on
about Christmas, fine large swan in
hamper. The hamper was address
ed to the secretary, who notified, the
club members OF the treat that was in
store. and a special swan dinner was
arranged for the 23d. -.r... g.,
The swan came on. at this dinner
looking magnificent-erect and state
ly on great silver-gilt salver. But
tough! II was so tough YOU couldn I
carve the gravy.
few days later the sender OF the
swan dropped in at the club.
Got my swan all right, I hope -
he said to the secretary.
Yes. and a nice trick YOU PLAYED
Trick? What do you mean?"
why. we boiled that swan for six
teen hours, and when it came on the
table ii was tougher than a block of
granite
Good gracious, Did you have my
swan cooked?"
Yes, of course"
The other was in despair.
why, that bird was historic" ne
groaned. II sent him up to be stuff
ed and preserved. He had been in
my family for 200 years He had
eaten out of the hand of King Charles
-"
The Mathews journal. (Mathews C.H. [Court House]) 1903-1937, 1910-02-03
Another Budget Crisis

Mas arranged our Christmas budget;
there's the deuce to pay:
Looks as If there was a crisis not so
far away;
Mas our little house of commons. pas
the house of lords;
Every night we almost nearly hear the
clash of swords.
Pa declares he'll Kill the measure. ma
amt scared at all;
once ] heard her tell him he was ridin'
TO fall;
Ma goes right on Christmas shoppin'.
gee, but pa gets hot
EVERY time the subjects mentioned
often when it's not.
The Mathews journal. (Mathews C.H. [Court House]) 1903-1937, 1910-02-03
PLANT WIZARD
ANSWERS CRITICS
Luther Burbank Replies to Attacks on
His Work.

Luther Burbank, the plant wizard.
telegraphed a reply to the New York
Times Yesterday to the criticisms pass
ed on MN ~ = was pointed out
in these that, according to the official
government bulletins, many "thornless
cacu' were known before the appear
ance OF the particular one which Mr.
Burbank's friends say he created, and
that the commercial exploitation of his
name was causing much misgiving in
scientific circles.
1t was also noted that Mr.. Burbank
is In the receipt of an annual grant OF
$4,000 for ten years from the Car
negie Institution that he may pursue
his scientific studies unhampered by
lack of funds. 1s-n
This is Mr. Burbank's reply:
Ito the Editor of the New York
Times:
Santa Rosa. Cal. Jan. 17-At the
time OF introducing some of the first
of my spinless cactus (opuntias), near
ly three years ago. the following
words occupied the first place in the
catalC que:
For more than so years l have been
quite familiar with thornless cactus
of many species and varieties. In
fact, one of the first pets which l had
in earliest childhood was a thornless
cactus one of the beautiful epiphyl-
lums.
''The phyllocactus and many of the
cereus family are also thornless, not a
trace to be found on any part of the
plants or fruit.
Thus the somewhat indefinite pop
ular name of 'thornless cactus has
been used by persons unacquainted
with these facts, for be it known that
a thornless cactus is no more of a
novelty than a thornless watermelon.
But among the cacti, which grow
to an immense size with great rapidity
and which can be readily cultivated in
garden, field. or desert, no perfectly
thornless ones were known and very
little interest was taken in the cactus
of any kind, either thorny or thornless
as to their agricultural or horticultural
value, until the work of improvement
was taken up on my experiment farm
and improved. Perfectly thornless
rapid-growing varieties have been pro-
duced and made known within the
last few years.
''The facts in the case are too well
known to need comment. Let some
one even now mention a single abso-
lutely thornless cactus of agricultural
value produced by anybody or not pro-
-duced on my grounds.
81 am exploited, whether willing or
not, and very much against my own
wishes. Does it pay to exploit COM
mercially a proposition which does
not stand on a sound basis of charac-
ter and value?
"It was mutually agreed upon and
fully understood. both by the Carne-
gle Institution and myself. that
should have the privilege of supple
menting their inadequate annual aid
toward the continuation of my exper-
iments by the sale of my productions
as before.
~ am now past 60 years of age.
Ruau.1one good work. and no one Is
The Mathews journal. (Mathews C.H. [Court House]) 1903-1937, 1910-02-03

dependent upon my EFFORTS. The grant
brought with Il more care, response
bility. correspondence. and visitors
and full crop OF envy and jealousy
and but for the advice OF friends I
should have dissolved my connection
with the institution last year.
Personally 1 have no desire for
wealth or fame-a thirst for these is
the root OF many evils. My ambition
has been to leave the world better for
having passed this way
To be misjudged is passing trife;
TO have lost life OF honest. earnest
labor is a tragedy"
The Mathews journal. (Mathews C.H. [Court House]) 1903-1937, 1910-02-03
A FABLE.

You've got TO advertise if you want
people TO know you're on earth" the
Gorilla said. Its the lions roar that
makes him the king of beasts. The
person who makes a big noise gets to
the front" The rabbit pondered these
words and was convinced. Some time
later he rose on his hind legs in a
thicket and screamed. A coyote, learn
ing of the rabbits whereabouts by his
noise, hoped onto him and ate him.
Moral: If you haven't got the goods
don't make any noise at all.
The Mathews journal. (Mathews C.H. [Court House]) 1903-1937, 1910-02-03
DIVORCE BLAMED ON womEN.

Recently published statistics show
that one married woman out OF twelve
in the United States now gets a al
Vorce,' said Mrs. Newell Dwight Stills
wife of the pastor of Plymouth church,
Brooklyn, yesterday afternoon at IND
meeting Of european in the PoucB
Gallery. Z
Divorce is like 6 thief who enfeA
the home at night and the cause IS
mainly the woman herself. II mott
would only teach their daughtera' -
to become good housekeepers a
duties Of wifehood and mott
before marriage divorce wou
creased about 80 per cent.
The majority Of girls s
up with the idea that all 81
necessities. They won't
er of children and so =
less. Life becomes "A IA
the husband tires a
is he leaves home
blame him. &
German, Englia 4 r ~ 4
en- are far bette Il
The Mathews journal. (Mathews C.H. [Court House]) 1903-1937, 1910-02-03
In Double Harness.

One of the ADVANTAGES of being
married is the reduced danger OF a
man going TO bed with his shoe son.
women who have their bank ac-
count in their own names have little
cause 20 complain of husband being
stingy.
The man who boasts OF bossing his
wife is evidently a newly wed.
Just as easy TO legislate peace into
the family as TO legislate morals into
men.-Florida Times-Union.
The Mathews journal. (Mathews C.H. [Court House]) 1903-1937, 1910-02-03
Moving Pictures of ROYALTY.

In the latest moving pictures taken
by the royal cinematographer at the
command OF Emperor William, the
crown prince of the German ruling
mouse is shown leading a fierce charge
across the parade ground. After the
chase he was taken while instructing
MS ofhcers in the art OF handling
cannon and places shell in the
breech with his own hands.
The MINIS have been ordered put on
sale according to reports from Ger
many so that the millions of people
VINO patronize the moving picture the
aires may see how their future en-
peror really appears in battle arrav-
Popular Mechanics.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-01-24
WORK THE TRUE REFORMER.

That the use of convict labor on the
public roads is not, only profitable to
the state but is good for the convicts
themselves. has been demonstrated
by the results of the last years work
on the state road No. rs in the Me-
thow valley In spite of the extra eX-
pense of building stockades and en-
ploying guards to prevent the men
from escaping. the work was done at
about one-half of what it would have
cost by contract, and was done well
and in quick time
The effect upon the convicts them
selves was most satisfactory. and that
they appreciated the change from
prison life to employment in the open
air is shown by the fact that there
has not been a single attempt at es-
cape. The health of the men has
been excellent and they have been
willing and faithful workers.
The use of convict labor has prov
ed a successful experiment in this
state and will do much to aid the
good roads movement. The work
done by the convicts does not bring
them into competition with free la
Dor. which has been one of the prin-
cipal arguments used against prison
labor
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-01-24
THE TEST Is ON.

During the past month or six
weeks the subject of a traction line
TO be built by the Washington Ore
son company has been much dis
cussed. Nearly all phases of the
question have been treated by this
paper and in consequence people, es>
pecially the men most interested,
should be reasonably well informed
regarding the proposition.
It is now purely question of rails
ing the money that is needed. The
success of the whole movement
hinges upon the ability to secure the
$4,000 stock subscription for the
company. In order to secure this
money hard work will have to be done
by the solicitors and the people of the
city will have to join hands in a
hearty patriotic effort. If too much
pessimism and opposition is display
ed by those who have the money or
hold the purse strings the movement
cannot succeed.
There are some who profess to think
a company like the Washington Ore
gon company should not ask for any
local support. Yet the company has
asked for some Pendleton backing
and the promoters say they cannot
go ahead with their plans unless they
secure such assistance This being
the case the question arises, would il
not be better for Pendleton to raise
the money needed rather than to wait
until another company comes forth
ready to do the work without local
assistance. The East Oregonian is un-
hesitatingly in favor OF taking advan-
tage of the present opportunity. Pen
dleton will probably wait until dooms-
day without getting traction facilities
unless local property owners offer to
help in getting such an improvement.
Had not local people manifested a
willingness to help the Pendleton
Toolen mill that plant would not be
in operation today. Had this city not
subscribed a large sum Of money
many years ago Pendleton would not
have secured connections with the
Northern Pacific railroad.
Gentlemen, how can you refuse to
subscribe to the traction fund?
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-01-24

needed for the course are small
enough to be carried in the pocket"
"on the whole, this situation also
pictures the methods by which the
American youth chooses his life work.
The overwhelming majority must
enter upon a bread-winning life when
the graded school has been passed.
Here also large number certainly
have an aim and Il goal. and with
firm step they enter the chosen path
But discouraging number of boys
and girls are drifting here and there
from haphazard motives and most
trivial causes. The hasty advice of an
incompetent friend. a chance adver-
tsement. a superficial liking for some
surface features of a calling without
any knowledge of its real duties.
vague, illusory idea as to the great
financial rewards of a line or work,
push a boy in this or that. direction"
The tendency of the average young
man. while in school and after gradu-
alton is to follow the ~line of least
resistance
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-01-24
FROM NoRBoURNE BERKELEY.

Richmond. Va. Jan. II. 1910.
The East Oregonian:-I spent a part
of last week i'm Norfolk. which city
has nearly lived down the jamestown
exposition fiasco. Norfolk is great
place for conventions. That of the
National Commission Merchants was
i'm session while | was there and |
never saw more prosperous looking
lot of men. | hope the consignors of
garden sass and product of Old Pied's
heifers, Calf. got separated from no
more than a legitimate commission.
| heard much comment in Norfolk ov-
er recent feat of the Virginia Rail-
road, which road was built by the
late II. H. Rogers, and | mention the
matter in view of the fact that there
is barring the curves on the Column
bia, a great similarity between the
haul from Pendleton to Portland to
that of the Rogers road. \ single en-
gine hauled at an average speed of
fifteen miles an hour one hundred
and twenty gondola coal cars, con-
tanning six thousand six hundred
(6600) tons of coal from Victoria. Va,
to Sewells, near Norfolk. These
cars are returned to the coal fields
empty. As the calf who ran around
around the barn so fast that he kick
ed mud in his own face, said, that's
going some
In pursuance of the dispensary mat
ter: Last week l met a friend who
has been commonwealth attorney in
one of the southwest. Va. counties
for many years. said county being ag-
riculture, and hence sparsely settled
He told me that under the dispensary
system the profits to the county had
advanced from $4,000 to s22,00 per
annum, and the expense of criminal
and pauper charges reduced ninety
per cent. Such ratios would not be
possible in Pendleton, but unless
find very satisfactory state of af-
faisr upon my next opportunity to in
vestigate the liquor question as con-
trolled under the dispensary system,
l shall certainly lift up my voice for
its adoption in Oregon. n. B.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-01-24
MAKE 1T 4 CITY.

a village is collection of stores
and other establishments that exist
tc meet the wants of the neighborlng
farming country. 1t is not hard to
start village. 4 village will gener-
ally start itself. But for that village
to grow into a town and then into a
city requires some work on the part
of the inhabitants. Cities do not grow
without the right sort of nurturing
Pendleton is now just on the edge Of
citydom. 1t is a big lively country
town with some metropolitan fea-
lures. We have paved streets and we
have some splendid industries. This
is not merely a trading point. But
if Pendleton is 10 become real city
there is another step that must be
taken. Traction facilities must be
provided and interurban lines built
out from the city to different parts Of
the adjoining territory. With such
lines in operation and with the I'M
petus that additional electrical power
will give to our manufacturing in
dustries Pendleton will be in line to
become a real metropolis. Let us
make Pendleton a city
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-01-24
SUBMARINE BELLS.

The government of Uruguay, in or
der to protect navigators from the
dangers Of the dreaded English Bank,
located in the La Plata river, near
Montevideo. years ago. placed a light
ship thereon which could not be seen
in foggy weather. This recently has
been remedied by the installation on
the light ship OF system Of subma-
rine bells, in connection with the ma
tional steamer Cyarvide, which re-
ceives the signals The apparatus con-
sists of a bell submerged in nineteen
feet eight inches OF water. 1t works
by compressed air, marking each reef
with a certain definite number of
strokes Thus in foggy weather, when
the lightship and lighthouse cannot be
seen, or when the wind is so strong
as to prevent the voice from being
heard, ships provided with the re-
ceiving apparatus will receive the sig
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-01-24
TOO HAP HAZARD.

In an interesting article in a cur
rent magazine Hugo Munsterberg crit
icises students for the haphazard
methods they follow in selecting
courses and he says the same criti-
cism applies to the selection Of life
yocations.
an those colleges where the choice
Of a course is left to the student. it
IS always interesting to inquire into
the motives that guide the prefer
ence," says Mr.. Munsterberg. "Of
the hundreds who flock to a course
in history, or economics, or chemistry
or literature. certainly there are many
who know that they have chosen the
course that they need and the one that
viii be most profitable for their in
ner development. But there are
others, and those others are far toe
many. Some students select a course
because their friends are taking It
others because they have heard that
II is a soft snap" Sometimes q
course is chosen because the lecturer
Is well known for his witty remarks
sometimes because the lecture hour
conflicts least with the training fol
athletics, and again because the
lecture room is conveniently located
downstairs or because the books
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-01-24
WE MUST ENTERTAIN THEM.

Most assuredly Pendleton should
take steps to properly entertain the
teachers who are to be here for the
big educational meeting in March.
Estimates made at this time are to the
effect that there will be 500 or 1000
people here for the Inland Empire
convention. To see that this crowd
is properly accommodated will take
some work. 1t is work that must be
done thoroughly and Systematically.
1t is work in which the entire city
must unite dozen committees
could not look after such a crowd
without the cordial cooperation of
other people and especially of hotel
men. lodging house men and families
having rooms to let
Then it will be necessary to provide
suitable entertainment features for
the convention. In this regard Pen
dleton has reputation to sustain.
Last spring the city entertained sever
al hundred Pythians and Pythian Sis
ters and did so in a very creditable
manner. But a short time ago the
state woolgrowers association met
here and the sheepmen are still talk
ing of the hospitality shown them by
the citizens of PendletOn. Pendle-
ton must sustain its record by pro-
viding fitting entertainment for the
army of school teachers that Is to be
here soon.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-01-24
FOR SALE

The 1900 acre stock ranch which 1
advertise, is in 10 miles Of depot.
The stock consists Of 80 head Of
white faced Hereford cattle. so head
of full blood cows and 40 head of
grades.
One bull is valued at $3.50. and some
of the cows at $500 per head. There
is 10 head of horses, and 800 worth
of fine chickens. There Is 3 good
wagons and all kinds of farm ma
chinery.
1 WANT TO SAY TO YOU
that you do not have to buy the above
named property, 1t is gift. absolutely
free, II you buy the land at $3.50
per acre.
e. T. WADE,
Pendleton, Ore
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-01-24

nal that they are near, dangerous
reefs. In this manner it is hoped
that the annual list of disasters re-
corded will be materially shortened
or disappear entirely.
The Cyarvide has experimental
with the apparatus mentioned. From
six miles away the officers on that
vessel plainly heard the sounds of the
bell placed several feet under the
water at the English Bank yet its re-
ceptor does not equal that on the
steamer Cape Vilano, with which the
signals were heard ten miles from the
English Bank
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-01-24

If you cannot give any money to
the traction fund at least you can be
a booster. Encourage others to help
if you cannot. Do not be a scoffer or
"a knocker. Such people are the dregs
at the bottom Of the cup of life.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-01-24
HOSTETTER'S
STOMACH B!TTERS

The above has been the experience
with thousands of others, and you
ought to profit by their example.
start today and notice the rapid i'm
provement in your general health. II
is for Poor Appetite, Heartburn. Head
ache, Indigestion, Dyspepsia, Costive-
ness and Grippe.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-01-24
Had Lots of Practice.

That man Jiggers is the smoothest
liar l have ever known"
Yes; his wife is one of those wom-
en- who demand many explanations.
and he has acquired wonderful pro-
ficiency."
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-01-24

At times like this all personal and
factional animosities must be laid
upon the shelf.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-01-24

Tomorrow the big poultry show be-
gins and unless all signs fail it will
be a thorough success.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-01-24

The hard weather is now a thing
of the past. yet it is doubtful if the
railroad people are satisfied with
present. conditions.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-01-24

Pendleton will not grow very much
unless the people make it grow.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-01-24
Why. Of Course,
TT is POSSIBLE

II II fo0SiDLF
to strengthen you weak stomach-to
aid digestion and keep the bowels
open-but you must take nothing but
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-01-24

THE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO., ATLANTA, G.