Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-10-07
FUN THAT FAILED.
Mark Twain's BurIesque of emer-
son, LongfelIow and Holmes.
1T SHOCKED THE MEMORIALS.

w. D. Howells' Description OF the Dis
NAL Effect OF the Humorist's At.
tempt to Make Game Of the Disnifisd
Literary Trio at the Boston Dinner.
In his memories OF Mark Twain In
Harpers w ID. HOwells tells Of the
dinner In Boston when Mark Twain,
with fatal effect. made game of Elmer
son, Longfellow and Holmes:
HE believed be had been particu.
larry fortunate In his notion for the
speech OF that evening. and be had
worked 1t out in joyous self reliance
IL was the notion OF three tramps,
three deadbeats, visiting Il California
miping camp aud imposing themselves
upon the innocent miners as respec.
lively Ralph Waldo Emerson Henry
Wadsvorth Longfellow and oliver
Wendell Holmes. The humor OF the
conception must prosper or must fall
according to the mood OF the bearer,
but Clemens felt sure Of compelling
this TO sympathy. and he looked for
ward to an unparalleled triumph
But there were two things that be
had not taken into account One was
the species of religious veneration In
which these men were held by those
nearest them. They were mon Of ex-
traordinary dignity, Of the thing call
cd presence for want of some clearer
word. so that no one could well ap.
proach them In a personally light or
trihing spirit. do not suppose that
anybody more truly valued them or
more piously loved them than Glenn.
ems himself. but the intoxication of his
fancy carried him beyond the bounds
OF that regard and embroidered him to
the other thing which be had not taken
into account-n namely, the immense
hazard OF working bis fancy out be.
fore their faces and expecting them to
enter into the delight OF It. II neither
Emerson nor LongfelIOw nor Holmes
had been there the scheme might pos
sibly have carried, but even this Is
doubtful.
Il was the hapless president, fulfill,
Ing the abhorred function of calling
people TO their feet and making them
speak. When | came to Clemens
introduced him with the cordial ad-
miration had for him as one of my
greatest contributors and dearest
friends. Here. | said, In sum. was a
humorist who never left you hanging
your head for having enjoyed his joke,
and then the amazing mistake. the be-
wildering blunder the cruel catastro-
phe was upon US. believe that after
the scope of the burlesque made Itself
clear there was no one there. including
the burlesquer himself, who was not
smitten with desolating dismay
There fell silence, weighing many
tons TO the square inch, which deep
ened from moment to moment and
was broken only by the hysterical and
blood curdling laughter OF single
guest, whose name shall not be hand
ed down to infamy Nobody knew
whether TO look at the speaker or
down at his plate. chose my plate
as the least affliction. and so do not
know how Clemens looked. except
when | stole a glance at him and saw
him standing solitary amid his ap
palled and appalling listeners. with his
Joke dead on his hands From a first
glance at the great three whom his
Jest had made Its theme, was aware
Of Longfellow sitting upright and re.
garding the humorist with an air Of
pensive puzzle. of Holmes buSily writ
ting on his menu with well feigned
effect of preoccupation, and of Elmer
son holding his elbows and listening
with a sort of Jovian oblivion of this
neither world In that lapse of memory
which saved him In those later years
from so much bother. Clemens must
have dragged his joke to the climax
and left II there. but | cannot say
this from any sense Of the fact. OF
what happened afterward at the table
where the immense. the wholly limo.
cent. the truly unimagined atfront was
nav iohSNi Wv lf1lSt re-
membrance. next remember being
In room of the hotel where Clemens
was not to sleep. but to toss in despair
and Charles Dudley Warmers saying
In the gloom. We'll. Mark! You're a
funny fellow 1t was as well as any
thing he could have said, but Clemens
seemed unable to accept the tribute.
Il stayed the night with him. and
the next morning after haggard
breakfast we drove about, and he
made some purchases of bric-a- brac
Tor his house in Hartford. with a soul
as rar away from bric-a-brac as ever
the soul Of man was. He went home
Dy an early train, and he lost no time
ID writing back to the three divine
personalities which he had so involun.
tarlly seemed to fout. They all wrote
back to him, making 1t as light for
MIN as they could. | have heard that