Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-04-29

Williams Purple Cow.
Ida gets every prize in our bridge
club" The best player, is she?"
No, the worst adder."--Life.
Mrs. Rangles-I am always out
spoken. Mr. Rangles-And / am gen
orally outtalked-Smart Set
Diner-Is there any soup on the bill
Of fare? Waiter-No sir; there was,
but | wiped il of. Harvard Lampoon.
What kind of a man would you like
for husband?" "Oh, either bach
elor or widower I'm not particular
which"
Burr-What kind of genius is
Nabbs! Does he work by fits and
starts? Kurr-No He works by fits
and stops.
He-My income is five thousand dol.
lars. She-How much more than that
do you think it will be safe for us to
spend?~-Life.
Here's the doctor again. miss Don't
You think he comes more often than
he needs tor 1T all depends; he may
be very poor, Marien '--Frou-F rou
She wants to be sister to me"
You can easily get her out of that no.
ton" "How?' Treat her as you
would sister" Kansas City Journal
I'm going to marry your sister.
Johnny, and take her far away. What
do you think Of that?" Il guess / can
stand 1t if you an'--London Tit Bits.
Mistress thirlng servant)-I hope
you know your place? Scranton,
yes, mum! The last three girls you
had told me all about it.-St. Louis
Star
Bloubs-The sufiragettes believe in
the equality of woman don't they?
Slobbs Not at all; they believe in the
| superiority of woman PHILADELPHIA
Record.
My daughter IS a promising vocal.
ist,' said proud mother We'll, get
her to promise she won't sing any
more was the caustlc suggestion OF
her next door neighbor.
Miss Pasleigh--I have had my pic.
ture taken once every year since | was
ten. Miss Youngthing do let me
see one of the old daguerrotypes.
They're so quaint Roseleaf.
What size in boots do you take,
Murphy? asked quartermaster.
'Twelves, sor," answered the private.
We'll, we've no twelves in stock"
Thin Oill take two pair O skies, sor"
Mrs. Crawford don't see how you
4 could join such a club when you don't
believe In the object of H. Mrs. Crab
| shaW-You see. dear it meets Mon.
days, and that's the only day in the
week ] had no place to go,--Brooklyn
| Life
Mr.. Grimes" said minister to
one OF his deacons, we had better
make the collection before the sermon
! this morning "Indeed?" Yes. I'm
going TO preach on the subject of econ.
omy."
AS for me- remarked Muggsley, Il
| don't believe in the higher education
for girls. The one | marry won't know
Latin or Greek" Il can readily believe
that" reioined Miss Slasher "A girl
who knows anything at all wouldn't
marry you."-B. c. Saturday Sunset.
Mistress When engaged you, La.
cinda, you said you had no male
friends Now, almost every time /
Corae into the kitchen / find a man
there. Lucinda -Lor' sakes ma'am.
he amt no male friend oh mine.
Then who Is hep" Ma husband"
Caseys wife was at the hospital,
where she had undergone a very seri-
Gus operation a few days before. Mrs.
Kelly called TO inquire as TO Mrs.
Casey's condition. rs she restin'
quletly?" Mrs Kelly asked mo; but
/ am" said Casey. National Monthly
Then you don't think | practice
what | preach. EN-" queried the min
istcr In talking with one of the dea.
cons at a meeting. NO. sir, / don't"
replied the deacon. You've been
preachin' on the subject O. resignation
for two years an ye haven't resigned
yet"
II wonder" said the teacher, III
you could tell me whether George
Washington was sailor or a soldier?"
, The boy grinned. He was a soldier,
all right" he said. How do you
know the teacher challenged. BE
cause | saw a picture Of him crossing
the Delaware. Amy sailor would know
enough not to stand up in a boat"
Terrific Heat In New York.
New York City never forgot the
torrld weather which prevailed on the
last Tuesday in March this year On
that day 1t was 50 degrees above zero
in the shade and the humidity was
high as well At p. m the heat fell
TO n degrees, and at midnight 1t was
TO- Women wore white gowns In the
impossible task Of trying to become
cool, and men donned straw hats. 1t
was one OF the most dreadful days
New Workers ever had to struggle
through.
A woman said to-day. IT'S harder