The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-04-24

tears! Great jumping genuflexion-
lists, what a world"
But" ventured Theodore, in a
sincere desire to comfort his
friend, you've had the treatment,
you know"
True, Eliphaz-Zophar-nay, I
will dub thee Elihu, for you have
not been cured Of your right to call
yourself a Boozite or Gittite still
true, I have had the treatment:
It's dish-water Is in my veins, its
dope in my assimilative system.
The Witherspoony truths, so well
adapted to the Second Reader
Grade, must remain in whatever
vermiform appendix the volume of
my brain provides for the reten-
ton of platitudinous ponderosity.
I shall lose my sense of humor. l
shall become bourgeois, un-Bohe-
mianzed, Philistine, Grass. l must
go forth and rob folks like any
other good citizen. Would that the
chance might present itself ere I
depart for home. BY George! That
reminds mel have no home"
This was delivered in exactly the
tone in which one might announce
the leaving behind of handker-
chief or cigar-case. Quite at loss
what to say, Carson said nothing;
Craighead, meanwhile, smiling as
if at a new and amusing thought.
Into this silence entered Mr..
O'Grady, Mr.. Evans and slender
person of about Carson's size, who
at once began the coursing of mag
mary game on the wallpaper, slap
ping his thigh and laughing at
every failure.
"This." said Mr. O'Grady. intro
ducing the indoor huntsman, sis Mr..
Wylie. Mr.. Carson .
"My worst fears confirmed
Kissed Craighead. "The one man
7 ever loved turns out to be-oh,
We gods! both teller of truth and
victim of regular habits! The last
straw. and no iulep!"
Carson looked at Wylie, awaiting
Mr.. O'Grady's development OF his
case.
1--WE are. of cawse." said O'Grady
"sorry to have interfered with your
plans. Mr.. Carson, but
Mr.. OGrady's grave discourse, in
which Carson could feel himself be-
ing placed irrevocably in the
wrong. was interrupted by Mr..
Wylie's making swoop upon an
imaginary animal on Mr.. OGrady's
nose.
81 most caught him. he cried.
"A bumblebee, A bumblebee! Sun
day, gnats: mosquitoes, Monday;
Tuesday, flies; bees Wednesday;
hornets yesterday and bumblebees
today. Rig game soon, Ha, ha,
ha. ha! Whoop"
Craighead attentively scrut'nized
Mr.. Wylie. who was lurching about
the room with a wild stimulation of
mirth. -.
"Iong-lost brother, evidently
remarked the Great Tncalled. Il
note the Craighead strawberry
mark. Well. when. he gets to ele-
plants, may claim relationship.
"Of cawse," went on Mr.. O'Gradv
paving no attention to the Wylie
incident. except to use and exam
inc for blood stains neatly folded
handkerchief. "your being found in
the greenhouse has been partially
explained. sir; and VIC are not dis
posed to make YOU trouble. 1he
usual payment for treatment Will
not be insisted upon. though al
wavs collected In advance. and
those you have had will be total
loss. In fact. with our customary
liberalitv. we shall leave to you
both that and your board and lodg
ings since you so strangely came
into our-into our midst.
Hear. hear" calculated Craig
head. "Hooroar for the emporium
Hip and again hip! Witherspoon
forever"
"And If you will kindly sign these
mutual receipts in full for all claims
on both sides, we will give Mr.
Wylie his room: and-here's the
nen. Mr. Carson, sir.
Theodore had already made the
first stroke of the "T' when Craig
head rushed upon him like a whirl-
wind, snatched the pen, hurled it
into the door like iavelin, where
ii stood ouivcring, and interposed
between Carson and O'Grady.
"Caitiff, avaunt'" he roared,
wilt deprive the widows and or
phans this youth may accumulate
of their cause Of action against
this pe-shottcn emporium" Back.
slave, You reach him only over
my dead BODY Receipts In FULL
Not on your life-to coin an eX-
preston. You have shot his pa
trician blood fnll of dish-water and
bug Juice; you have filled his limo
cent and unworldly stomach with
dope; you have committed on him
false Imprisonment. assault and
battery. and malpractice, IL there be
any nal to your practice. His spine
is even as wet string for timber
ness. He Is dislntegrated so that
he falls below the standard Of the
human wreck-hc is mere debris
and Junk. His reputation--the i'm
mortal part of himself--is gone,
and what remains Is bestial. He
has had iaghood forced upon him.
instead of being allowed to achieve
1t at the expense of his patrimony,
as YOU. O'Dennis. and I have done.
You have amputated his appetite
for light wines, and may as well
pass him the Darker Drink first as
last. He has suffered. and must
ever suffer, most excruciating pain
and agony, and both mental and
physical anguish He's gone Cos.
ling! And 7, the greatest personal
injury specialist in the legal world.
as his attorney demand ten-thou-
sand-plunlls as damages; failing
the receipt Of which. we'll and truly
to be paid in lawful money of the
realm. well take the emporium I'm
execution. make Witherspoon a
stable-boy with you as assistant