davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1910-03-01
A PCCkERLESS PERSIMMON

The Agricultural Department is al
ways doing something new. II has
now discovered q puckerless persim~
mon. This is of doubtful utility and
would spoil Henry Blount's best Joke.
lie tells Of d lad in Wilson, whose
mother was q strict observer Of the
Sabpath and who thought whistling
was a desecration of the holy day.
she gave her permission for him tie
stroll IN the fields on SUNDAY upon
condition that he would not whistle.
He returned with his mouth drawn
INTO the shape necessary to whistle
ana MS mother was distressed. He
mad eaten persirnmons and couldn't
get his mouth back in proper shape.
hen his mother accused him Of
breakIng his promise, the bov replied:
W hlstle, the devil, / spec I'm pi-
zened.'
II the Agricultural Department goes
on making such innovations it viii
not only change agriculture and nor
lculture, but Will likewise destroy al
our favOrite jokes.
The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1910-03-01
UNCLE WALT
The Poet Philosopher

'"Tle cost of living'S very high" the
young man nuttercd. with Il sigh:
"wIen 1 have paid the grocer's bill.
helped the butcher line his till.
and squared UP divers other things.
salary has taken wings. There's
something wrong. some
THE OLD where, l think; h GOV
PROBLEM is on the blink:
and congress can't
amount to shucks, since living costs so
many bucks. And Freedom. on her
grass, if I am right. till prices are re-
.iuced by law; they are the worst I
ever saw" "When / was young.' the
Ora beard said, "a working man was
cileapIy fed; / used to pillow and put
mp hay, and only drew one bone a day:
and yet. when days were dark and
dank. l had a bundle in the bank.
But then 1 never tried to burn more
wealth than 1 was apt to earn: / wasn't
Euying grapes imported hats
Or ermine capes: / never pauncd my
house and lot to buy an auto or a
yacht. and never racked my dizzy
brains with schemes to buy some aero
planes. We're living now in bughouse
times the birds are peited with oar
dimes: we idly blow our little store.
then rustic round and borrow more.
and When we've Ianded in the broth.
we 9urble forth. exceeding worth:
THE laws are surely out of plumb!
N government is on the bum"
The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1910-03-01
\ NEW INDUSTRY.

The New Bern Journal notes that
some years g q New York gentle
man, Mr.. Baldwin, and his family
were attracted to that place because
OF its climate and social ADVANTAGES
as an ideal place to spend the win
ter. They came year after YEAR and
as Mr.. Baldwin was engaged in the
fur business he made a study. while.
hunting, OF the animals bearing fur
ana SKINS OF value in that section.
AS q result he has developed quite a
business. He paid out $4,000 during
the last month and has paid out ssh
oVo slnce going to New Bern for furs
and skins. That is an industry that
was not known to exist.
North Carolina is rich in more
ways than its people know.
The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1910-03-01
LOaNma~e~
copyright 1909. by George Matthew
Adams
Adams
-O-ED~

The Moore County News prints a
letter written from New Gilead in 1916
by Hugh Mcdonald. He quotes corn
so cents and wheat 90 cents a bushel.
and added: "Cider and brandy more
plentiful than ever known. Peach
brandy. so cents; apple. % per GAL
ION. Upon reading this, some people
VIII sigh for tn good old days that
are no more
The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1910-03-01

why do E~ngiishmen wear a mono
cle instead OF double eyeglasses?
nat question was asked Secretarv
hay by Joe Mitchell ChappIes. and
the answer was: perhaps these gem
tlernen Of distinguished anceetrv 90,
see win one eye all that their brains
could possibly comprehend. or per-
maps Ii they We're to use both evac
thelf heWllderment would be all too
embarrassing, and produce q mental
which they avoid nv
using half the vision only-a very
wise conom of anatomical povera
don't YOU thinko'
The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1910-03-01

= professor IN Michigan having ad-
Nahceo the theory hat human souls
grow alter death, the Louisville Con
r~ler-Journal says even if this is co
'he souls OF a couple of high protec-
'iohlsts might hop about for 100000
years on one griddle two feet in diom
e'er without crowding one another"
The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1910-03-01
ALL FOR $1.7O

There has never been OfTered III
North Carolina 50 much GOOD rea0snS
for so little money as we are ohefi"s
under the following proposition: FOR
size we will send the following Tor
one year:
The Weekly News and Observer an
eigllt-pasc weekly, newspaper.
The Commoner, al aDfe weekly
Journal. published by HiIiam Jeh-
nings Bryan.
The Farmer and Mechanic. sixteen
.age North Carolina HON and farm
weekly journal.
Thus for One Dollar and SeVehty
Cents YOU can get all these papers
one year.
Y. c. MOORE. Manager.
The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1910-03-01

Anna Held. DISCUSSING the suf-
lIaSctte movement. says why
Silould any woman want to he 4 man"
II d woman were a man. the men
would clap her on the back and say,
An my comrade,' out no mar would
ever take re woman in his arms ana
say: Oh, my darling" When the
above reached Houston, ~paragrapher
Bailey (former citizen Of Raleigh
said: Anna, YOU angel cancel all
your engagements and come right
along to Houston At last accounts
Anna had not went
The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1910-03-01

we nave too few monuments in
North Carolina. The New Bern Jonr.
nal reports that the bows in that t,
h"Ne started d movement to erect a
monument 10 the memory of Baron
lie Graffenreid, the Swiss nohleman
VINO led the expedition which made
the first settlement at New Bern +
should succeed.
The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1910-03-01

me great Aneican hog brings 90
per hundred on the Chicago market,
the highest price since the war times,
ana the packers predict higher prices.
Il 50, health and both de-
mand that we eat less meat
The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1910-03-01

The good ADVERTISING Ra1aiob bac
received from Mayor Wynna.s
aseoos acton for decency has offset
me a advertising Raleigh has re-
celVed Tor past ~delinquencies.
The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1910-03-01

Victor Hugo. }

CNictor HugO.)
There are only two or three things
worth having in life, and friendship
IS one of them.
The Washington herald., 1910-08-05
INTELLECTUAL INEZ INSISTS
EDUCATION ECLIPSES ECLAIRES

Education is a nice thing to have
around the house where it can be shown
OF along with the family Bible and brio
abrac, but when you have TO rub against
It from Monday morning to Saturday
night it becomes as wearing on the con-
stitution as tete-atete with teasing
insurance agent
That is why you want TO run away
end play with the sand heas when you
collide with the intellectual girl at the
seaside resort; that is why you want TO
hike and hustle as soon as the dear one
begins TO rake over her college course.
Fair she may be to gaze upon. but Il Is
wise gent who does the duck act when
load of classic gravel is about to be
dumped on his head.
The intellectual girl always stands out
prominently in the summer cluster She
is tall and stately, and lets out her full
length. Her brow Is broad and her eyes
are gray, and she invariably harrows her
hair down fiat. to make the brow seem
broader Her mind runs TO the ladies of
her neurological studies, and she looks
~ JhA &C OOliuCoNOAulIBlg 10 IL 1Ou
were still in the pork-and-bean class at
the public school. Even at that, you
wouldn't mind feeding her on eclaires
and picking up her hairpins If she would
only forget her affiieuon.
When you first meet her and start to-
ward the Boardwalk, you think that you
have found peach. and great is the Joy
that circulates around your heart and
swells your manly bosom. But there is
where you are caught mapping in fruit
culture, for you soon learn that you have
picked a lemon.
She begins the agony by sizing you up
and asking why you don't wear your
college pins, and when you reluctantly
admit that the only pins known at the
Crow Hill Academy were safety pins, the
expression that floats over her features
Is one Of superior pity. Taking advan-
tage OF this handicap. she asks you II you
speak German. and you confess that you
never made the bluff Then she wants
to know II you speak French, and you
tell her that you can always get just as
good results by cussing the waiter in
United States. Once more that corde-
The Washington herald., 1910-08-05
NO REPORT MADE
OF OZARK SALTS
Statement on DeSertiOnS Has
Not Reached HarrieS.

Gen. Harries. commanding the militia
OF the District, has received no Official
report Of the alleged desertion Of twenty
six members of the Naval Militia from
the monitor Ozark at Annapolis
Until the arrival OF the ship at her
berth in the harbor tomorrow or sun
day. no action can be taken on the cases
Gen. Harries would not discuss the mat
ter last night. further than TO say that
the sailors will be brought 10 trial imme-
distely after the Official report is re-
ceived
X Is said that the alleged deserters will
return 10 the ship as soon as she docks
here. making their offense breaking lib
erty'' instead OF desertion. Lieut.. Car
mody Will represent the men at the court
martial 1t was reported last night
The Ozark is steaming TO Washington
at the rate OF four miles an hour. The
vessel Is not seaworthy and faster speed
is impossible. She will reach here not
later than Sunday
The Washington herald., 1910-08-05

scending glance, and you begin to feel as
II she were leading you along at the end
or pink ribbon. Ike little Fido.
Being assured that there IS no danger
OF comeback, the intellectual girl now
wades in and throws it at you in chunks
She chirps all the languages that ever
leaked from the wise books. including
the living and dying as we'll as the dead
and the Esperanto. Long before YOU get
down as far as the salt water taffy stands
she seems so far above you that you are
sorry that you didn't bring a telescope
along TO see what she looks like floating
through the sky.
Down on the sand you blow in good
money for a beach chair Just to see her
commit another classical crime and
when you realize that there isn't a
chance in the prize box OF getting her
head on your shoulder, you soulfully
wish that wave might wash you away.
In this spasm she reels OFF a line Of
book lore that would make a pedagogue
sprint for his bunk. She lifts her eye
brows and asks you II you have read
this work and that work. When you
assure her that you have never taken
ki1dly to anything except Hoyle and
Balzac. she gives you another pity-the-
poor look and exceeds the speed limit
on lot OF learned quotations from
famous authors. leaving you at the post.
She likewise leases you TO a finish with
the sciences and lost arts, and when YOU
finally get her back to the hotel, you
cannot help singing the 'Doxology" and
dashing for the nearest fountain.
In the face OF this, however. there is
still hope for the intellectual girl A
college education is rarely ever fatal,
and in a year or so you Will find her
tacking down carpets and singing the
twins TO sleep. Just like her neighbor,
Mrs. Callily. the huckster's wife
The Washington herald., 1910-08-05
GRACE FOR DOG OWNERS.

After Thursday every dog found run
ming at large in the District without
a muzzle will be placed in the pound
and its owner will be subject to a fine OF
not less than s. nor more than $50
The muzzling order went into effect
yesterday. but weeks time IS allowed
owners to purchase muzzles. Health ON
Ger Woodward has issued the warning
that dogs not properly muzzled VIII be
impOunded.
The only kind of muzzles that meets
the requirements Of the law is the "all-
wire" variety. DR.. Woodward says the
proclamation seems TO have met with
general satisfaction in the community.
and few protests are expected.
The Washington herald., 1910-08-05
SEVERE FIGHTING
THREATENS CEIBA
Honduras Government Sends
Ont General Alarm.
BRITISH CRUISER IN HARBOR
Attack on Town Is Expected at Any
Moment and American Consulate
Is Filled with Refusees-EngaEe-
mentS Reported in East-Demands
for Matuje Are Denied.

Mobile, Ala. Aug. 4-News received
here from Seiba, Honduras. says:
a general alarm has just been sound
ed and all the government troops are
rushing to quarters. We expect to see
the town attacked any minute. The Brit
ish cruiser Scylla is entering the harbor
The situation here is one OF great uncer-
tainty and anxiety, and the American
consulate is filled with refugees. Among
them are DR.. Layton. the United States
Marine Hospital surgeon. his wife and
mother. Gen. francesca Matuje. and Gen.
Gallardo.
The government has formally demand
ed Of the American consul that he sur
render Gen. Matuje, but he has refused.
1t Is reported 10 be tho intention OF the
government to force MIN TO give I'D
large amount Of money for his ransom.
as he is wealthy and stands high in the
community
Real Fight Expected.
There are altogether about 1000 gov
eminent troops in and around Ceiba. and
intrenchments are being thrown up three
when the attack on Ceiba takes place
there is where the real fight will come
on. Both sides are well prepared. and it
will be a serious engagement The gov
ernor Of this department will lead the
government troops in person. The gov
ernor desires to avoid any fighting inside
the city. so that no foreigners will be
hurt and outside complications avoided
Business is at a standstll here and the
streets are all guarded. while mounted
men patrol the beach. Every one must
have a good reason for being on the
street after dark, otherwise he viii be
taken to headquarters and examined
Many wild reports are current as to
Gen. Bonilla's movements One report
says he has landed near Puerto Cortez.
Another says he has landed not far from
Ceiba and will soon advance on this town.
Americans Handle Guns.
There is a Northumberland report
that an engagement is now taking place
about seven miles east Of here. on the
coast, between the government troops
and a large revolutionary force under
Gen. Lee Christmas. who is attacking
the government forces from barges and
boats anchored in the ofing. He Is said
70 be using rapid-fre guns handled by
Americans and the report is that he has
fifty such experts with him.
"A later report says that Christmas ef-
fected a landing with his force
The first outbreak. two weeks ago. oc-
CURED eight miles west Of Ceiba. when
government force 400 strong. commanded
by Gen Diaz, met an insurgent force rs
strong. under Col. Moncado. After two
days Of guerrilla warfare the government
force retired to Ceiba. having lost fifty
killed and wounded. The loss among the
insurgents Is not known.
The government is rushing re-enforce-
ments here. Col. Melnoz having arrived
yesterday with 80 infantry, fully armed
and equipped. The total strength OF the
government here is about 1000 men, under
Gen. Dlaz."
The Washington herald., 1910-08-05
HIT BY SNOWFALL.
Daniel Cohen Swears Out Warrant
for His Assailant.

Daniel Cohen, a merchant, was hit full
in the face with a SNOWFALL yesterday.
A warrant was sworn out for the arrest
OF his assailant
Make a warrant out for me, anG make
it out quick" shouted Cohen. as he dash
ed into the Office OF Assistant United
states Attorney Weyrich.
What's the natter" inquired MI Wey-
rich.
I was hit with a SNOWFALL" was the
astounding reply
Mr.. Weyrich peered into the corridor and
assured himself that policemen were
standing by.
How could that be?'' he inquired sooth-
ingly. This Is August. There is no
snow"
THAT is foolish" said Cohen. TT was
a SNOWFALL made Of ice. with strawberry
havoring. II hit me In the face and made
big splash Make me a warrant" The
warrant was issued.
Mr.. Cohen's assailant manufactures IA
vored snowballs for sale 10 children.
The Washington herald., 1910-08-05
REGATTA DISPLAY
MAKES REAL HIT
Illumination at Mans Store
ELECTS Much Praise.
n. A. A. o.

These letters on flying banners, illu-
minated BY a dazzling display Of cleo
tricity and surmounting an eight-oar
shell embeIlished in light. announced the
Washington downtown headquarters OF
the National Association Of Amateur
Oarsmen, which Is 10 hold its annual
regatta on the Potomac Friday and Sat
urday OF next week.
The headquarters is D. J. Kaufmans
Mans Store, IN Pennsylvania avenue and
a more unique and attractive display has
never been seen in Washington.
The eight-oar shell extends the length
OF the building. Immediately over the en-
trance, outlined by electric bulbs and
above It are pennants. banners and flags
innumerable. Electric lights are strung
in effective designs over the entire front
Of the building The illumination. seen
last night for the first time. attracted the
attention Of thousands, and for the COM
ing week these downtown headquarters
will be the mecca OF all the oarsmen.
The main show window. also bril-
lsntly Illuminated. is given up wholly
10 an exhibition or the trophies, massive
silver cups. gold emblem7. and pennants
that ere offered as prizes for competi-
ton in the regatta. These represent
thousands Of dollars in intrinsic value.
besides the added value Of what they
stand for.
II any one has doubts as 10 the big
event this coming regatta will be these
doubts viii instantly vanish with
glimpse OF the prizes now on exhibition
The display will continue daily, with
the illumination at night. until the con
tests are over. ard. in addition. the
Mans Store has provided writing rooms
and other conveniences and comforts for
all the oarsmen. Headquarters It IS 20
be in the fullest sense. and Eleventh
street and the Avenue is the liyeliest
part Of the city in anticipation Of what
is coming.
The Washington herald., 1910-08-05
WASHINGTON HERALD BUREAU.

WASHINGTON HERALD BUREAU.
s25 King Street
Alexandria Va, Aug. THE two-story
frame house occupied by Mrs Eta G.
Shields at Braddock Heights was COM
pletely destroyed by fire this morning.
An oil stove caused the blaze Most
Of Mrs. Shields effects were also de-
stroyed, and two pet dogs were cremated-
The building was insured for 1900 in
favor Of Miss Ada B. j. Farrar
The house and lane. consisting Of six
and half acres. was to have been sold
at $50 o'clock this afternoon. Capt R.
F. Knox, auctioneer. sold the ground.
however. and it was purchased by Miss
Ada B. J. Farrar for 800 The prop
erty was sold for Carroll Pierce 20 sat
isfy deed OF trust
The annual meeting Of the Fairfax
Medical Society was held to-day. The
meeting was presided over by DR.. F. NJ.
Brooks. retiring president. Of Fairfax
Several interesting papers on medical sub
jeets were read. Dinner was served at
o'clock
The following were elected officers TO
serve for the ensuing year: Or. C. r.
Dufor. president. Washington: DR.. W. p.
Cation. first vice president. Accotink,
Fairfax County; DR.. Wells. second vice
president, Washington; Dr. Ralph Quick,
recording secretary. Clarendon, Alexan-
dria County; DR.. A. H. Coombs, CORE
spending secretary, Vienna, Fairfax Coun-
", and Or. f. L. Detwiler, treasurer.
Herndon. Loudoun County
A feature Of the fremen's parade in
connection with the convention will be
the old Friendship FIRE engine Many
old veterans will ride behind the engine
in carriages.
The Columbus fire engine company has
elected the following delegates and al
ternates 20 the state convention: George
A. Norris. c. W. Dufey John Lead
heater. A. BaccigaIupo. G. Crump. John
knight. and J F. Pettey. delegates. J.
Luckett. 2. r. Shinn. R Smith. W. L.
Craven. L. Mellen, z. Sampson, and R.
Evans, alternates
The Bank OF Occoquan. incorporated.
occaquan, Va, has been granted a char
0''' WIN " NalIlo4 SUM VI %4N,vvp- ne
officers are c, +. Nicol, r. Noel Garner.
J. l. Perry. Robert II. Cox, Alexandra
and p. S Beach. Stonelelgh. Prince
William County. Va, vice presidents: c.
W Hunter. OccoQuan. Va, president.
and John ". Garner. cashier.
Funeral services for George Washing
ton. who died yesterday afternoon, will
be held al O'Clock tomorrow afternoon
from Demsine's undertaking establish
ment
The Washington herald., 1910-08-05
DIED.

CHAsE-on Thursday. August 4, 1910. at
the residence Of her daughter, Mrs
J. 3. BOutelle. 1922 Twelfth street
northwest. JOSEPHINE TOILETTE.
widow OF stephen Y Chase and
daughter Of the late Mai Alex Sey-
Rolette HoOe.
Notice Of funeral hereafter.
DYER-On Wednesday, August 3. 1910.
at s p. m, ". ROBERT DYER. in
FAINT son OF W. r. Dyer and the late
Mary + Dyer nee Shipley). aged
seven months.
Funeral from residence. Good Hope.
D. c.. Friday, August 5, AZ 2 ?. m
Interment az ST. Barnaby, Nd.
FOLEY-On Tuesday. August 2 1910, at
his residence. rs First street north
west. BARTHOLOMEW, husband OF
the late Mary A. Foley
Funeral Friday. August 5, at $50 a. n.
from his late residence thence 10 St.
AlOysius' Church. where requiem mass
Will be said for the repose OF his soul
Tuesday, August p 1910. at
9:25 p. m, HENRY BIRCH, beloved
husband OF Mary Hamilton Cooley
nee Thomasl and son Of the late
William H. Cooley. Of Georgetown. d.
C, aged thirty-three years.
Funeral from Oak Hill chapel Friday.
August S, al 1880 a m. Relatives
an- friends invited 10 attend
McLEA-J-On Tuesday. August 2. 1910.
- go p. m, at his residence, 507 A
street southeast. FRANCIS MCLEAN,
beloved husband OF Marion J and
fther OF Frank n Mclean. aged
Ssventy-four years.
Funeral service at the home, Friday.
August s. az 2.S0 p. m. Interment
private
NASH-On Wednesday. August ). 1910,
THOMAS ANDREW. infant son OF
Raymond z. and Marcia Armstrong
Nash.
Funeral Friday morning. August 5. at
II O'Clock, from the wellington apart
ment house Interment private
NORBECK-On Thursday morning, Au-
gust 4. 1910. in Columbia, Pa. at 1890
o'clock l. EUGENE, beloved hus-
band OF Katherine A. Norbeck
Notice OF funeral hereafter.
The Washington herald., 1910-08-05
WEATHER CONDITIONS.
U. S. Dept. of Agriculture. Weather Bureau

U. S. Dept Of Agriculture. Weather Bureau
Washington Thursday Aug. 4. 1905 p. m.
Since Wednesday night the principal center q
disturbance has moved from Lake Superior 20 the
Lower ST. Lawrence Valley, the area Of barometric
depression extending from Lake Huron and Eastern
Lake superior eastward into the Atlantic and south
ward into North Carolina.
Showers and thunderstouns occurred generally over
this AREA. and extended into the South Atlantic
,East Gulf States. Showers continued in the
&C Ind Southern Rocky Mountain region, and
N also few scattered showers in portions
Of Eral West.
The Washington herald., 1910-08-05
Big Sale of Coal Land.

Special TO The Washington Herald.
Stanton. Va, Aug. A $4,000 Hale
has just been completed, in which the
Goshen Iron Company purchased OF the
Victoria Furnace plant 5000 acres OF
Rockbridge land, 1900 acres in Allegheny,
and the elevator colIiery in Fayette
County. W. Va, A great deal Of railway
equipment and limestone quarries in this
county were also included in the Big
sale
The Washington herald., 1910-08-05
raid sim in CornneId.

Spencer, N. c.. Aug A-John NJ Spen-
Ger and Daniel Beasley. Of East Spencer.
were captured to-day by Sheriff J. H.
Mckenzie and Chief Of Police J. R.
Cruise, OF this place, while making block
ade brandy The offenders were located
in cornheld In the outskirts Of East
Spencer. and the raid was made By the
officers at daylight this morning.
The Washington herald., 1910-08-05
Regaining His Health.
ARRESTED FOR ASSAULT.
Ice Wagon Driver Pays $40 for In
juring school Watchman.

Ice wagon Driver Pays SO for In
jurinE school Waterman.
Upon a charge of having assaulted Mat
tau Donaldson. a special officer. detailed
as Waterman at the Cathedral School for
Boys, Wisconsin and Massachusetts ave-
nues, Clifford Walker. employed as an ice
wagon driver. was arrested yesterday by
the Tennallytown police
Donaldson was sent 10 Georgetown Uni
versity Hospital with a cut over his left
eye and severe injuries about the body.
His condition Is not serious.
Walker told the police that Donaldson
ordered him of the grounds. at the same
time hitting him with a piece Of iron
pipe. He said that he had no trouble
with Donaldson. and only struck him in
self-defense. He ives released upon SO
collateral.