The Wilson times. [volume] (Wilson, N.C.) 1896-19??, 1910-12-13
GRIDIRON
BANQUET
FAMOUS NEWSPAPER MEMS CLUB
dine AT NATIONAL CAPITAL
PROMINENT GUESTS
Celebrities ARE ROASTED

Washington, D. c., Dec. 12-Poli-
tics, past, present and future, was the
dominant note at the annual fall din
ner of the .Gridiron Club Saturday |
night. President Taft was there with |
members Of his Cabinet, Vice Presi- |
dent Sherman, Senators and Represen- |
tatives in Congress, latent presiden-
tial possibilities; newly-elected Gov
ernors Of States, and men of mark in |
various positions and of all shades |
Of political belief, and ambassadors
and ministers plenipotentiary of for
eign countries, who were numbered
among the clubs guests, heard with
wonder the good-natured grilling az
ministered by the newspaper men to
their victims. With tableau - and
comedy sketch and topical song, III
clever speech and moving picture, the
incidents Of the last campaign were
recalled and grim forecasts of the fu
ture.
Clearing the way for the incoming
Democracy, Uncle Joe" Cannon was
swept aside and in a skit embodying
a parody upon the Mikado he was SEN
fenced to decapitation. 1t was left
to him to select his executioner.
Victor Murdock, he declared, was 'tC
hasty," while he feared Senator La
Toilette would talk him to death.
Cannon GrilIed.
The man he selected a. of strong
arm and sure, an old friend. was -'Ko
Ko" Longworth. Just in the nick Of
time President Taft. in the person OF
the Mikado, stayed the hand OF tho
eXecutioner and commuted Uncle
Joe's' sentence to staying in Congress.
as a helpless minority and to being
chained to his seat during the de
bate on the House rules.
A furious cracking Of whips and
clanking of chains, and roars of
"Goddap" and stamping of hoofs sig
nalized the approach OF tumultuoua
party from outside lit portrayed the
redemption of Champ Clark's famous
anti-election peldge to ride down
Pennsylvania avenue behind a team
of mules if he were elected Speaker
The actor who represented Mr.. Clar's
was clothed in farmers costume with
big whip, overalls, wide felt hat and
hickory shirt. He was riding a two
wheeled cart, cracking his whip and
shouting at his mules, christened
Bob" and Fritz" Dragging behind
in heavy chains were Cannon, DalZefl
and Payne. AS every other step the
ex-Speaker yelled defiant1y "dictator!'
~Czar!"
Clark AS New Speaker.
Ollie James introduced Clark as
the new Speaker, and the latter
promptly sentenced his prisoners tC
various punishments, such as the as
signments of Cannon to the chairman
ship of the committee on "dispositiol
OF useless paper (where the Aldricf
Payne-SmSooth tariff was consigned
while Payne and Dalzell were to bf
trampled by Ollie James. Clark un
dertook to define his policies but haf
only gotten to the point where he de
clared for free trade when the part,
broke up in a row.
Few cf the guests at first coulG
recognize the dainty little lady "Miss
Democracy" in the brawny, big mus
cled, large Waisted and bass voice
female in evening dress who occupied
in solitary state the place Of honor OF
the Democratic Band Wagon, which
drew up on the stage. Hanging OF
we're various candidates for the presi
Dental ofice, but the lady while coy
was also firm in her attitude and pre-
sented a face OF flint to her suitors
She announced that she was no sim
pering old maid, but was militant
that she was taking this Joy ride 70
the first time in sixteen years and hat
chartered it for quite spell, toe
When the President sought to expe
her she defied him, saying that h
talked like T. r. before election
day"
Antics With Band Wagon.
At the critical moment, Goyerno
Judson Harmon came to the rescu
and climbed into the band Wagon
When his right was challenged h
declared that he was the logical car
dite, the friend of the masses, an
the classes we're friends Of his. Blu
Miss Democracy decided that h
would have to wait for two years t
see what he could do with Demo
cratic Legislature, so Harmon climl
ed down.
Dix was the next aspirant for favor
claiming his seat by virtue of a ticke
bearing an 30. K" by Charles /
Murphy, and because of his Eersatil
ty, but Miss Democracy insisted tha
the trouble with the Democratic pa
ty for the past twenty-five years Wa
that r. had been "toe damned ve"s:
tile" and Dix was thrown OF.
Judge Baldwin made an effort
climb into a seat nthe ground tha
he was great legal light but Mis-
Democracy asked: What has la
rot 20 Dc with the Democratic pa
tyt EepubIi cans made all the law,
We are goine tn make news ones" an
off went Baldwin.
Foss had no better luck than whe