The Paonia newspaper., 1910-08-12
GOING TO A
WEDDING

"Did you have . good time? asked
the bookkeeper.
The young woman stenographef
dropped her heavy suitcase. Having
assured herself that the manager had
not yet reached the ONCE that morn
ing, she turned upon the bookkeepsr
a severe countenance.
You are the most tactless man
know" she declared. Did you ever
hear of any one having a good time
at anybody's weddingT
The bookkeeper shook his head.
s.Thats the point of my subtle joke.
he said.
well. It sounded to me like an or
dinary foolish question. am little
peeyish. think. for ! am trying to
count up how much the wedding cost
me-"
II thought you liked to spend
money"
Il do. when / have some chance OF
getting fair return for 1t. But what
pleasure do ! get out of this? Not
any"
. First" went on the stenographer.
bitterly Il had to forfeit a days sal
ary for substitute stenographer:l
then. in order to catch the six o'clock
train had to hire a taxicab. Next y
had to say good-by to six perfectly
good dollars for my railroad ticket
when reached the town my thir-l
teen.year- nephew pushed me into
cab an II I were q bag of meal. Thsni
he disappeared bashfully into the dark
ness, leaving me alone in the cab
with q nice-looking young maB who
was going to the same place. All the
romances folnded on the girl and the
man meeting on the way to the house
party flashed through my mind and .
began to think that perhaps the We'd
ding wouldn't be such 4 bore. after
ALL"
Il didn't know before that you were
so dependent on a mere man for your
happiness" said the bookkceper.
You are always Dragging about tho
good times Mt your club"
"A girls club is a jolly AFFAIR in IT.
self" explained the stenographer. but
a church sociabie or n wedding needs
some foreign eiement-for example.
an interesting man-to make IT en-
durable"
And this particular man."
"Iiis name was Smith. His wife and
his small son were waiting for him At
the house"
Loves young dream blasted" muir
INJURED the bookkeeper.
Il had one stroius OF luck" said tho
stenographer. The house was so full
of relatives that had to go to .
neighbor's to sleep. thought how
lovely II was that | would not have to
get up at seven o'clock in order to get
to the ofice on time. They called me
at six o'clock
After breakfast ! helped make all
the beds and then sneaked on into
one corner OF the library and began
to read a book. Unfortunately. my
brother-in-iaw saw me and my repose-
full attitude seemed to irritatc him. for
he asked me to get up and dust q pic
ture frame"
1T was selfish OF you to shirk-"
Young man. don't you know that
one OF the greatest lessons In life 10
to learn ones own responsibility and
let other peoples alone7 The caterers
were there TO cater: the decorato-t %
were there TO decorate: the bride and
the bridesmaids were In the hands of
the hairdresser. think 1t was nice
of me not TO go rushing around yelling
isn't there something can dor
Il got even with my brother-in-law.
however. All OF his personal property
that was downstairs | carried up. and
anything found of his upstairs ! took
downstairs. They will have to clean
house again before he finds his things.
"Of course we had a stand-up lunch
in the buffers pantry-and my suit
will have to go to the cleaners.
Two hours later the wedding march
began. Then the procession came in.
everybody counting four on each foot
and all wishing they were well out OF
the whole business. Then during the
ceremony there were some unostenta-
tious tears shed. The man who wrote
'Merrily the Wedding Bells certainly
had n wonderful Imagination. Next
came the refreshments and the
showering Of rice.
well. this morning crawied out at
4:30 and caught the train back to,
Chicago"
But you had visit with your rela-
tives.'
Il didn't. Besides. the trip cost me
ten dollars. without counting the pres-
apt"