davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19
Testinu His Scales,

"Thank heaven james has quit call
ing me Baby" said the woman who
weighs over 200 pounds. "A strange
butcher shamed him out of it. 1t was
done uncOnsciously too. That is why
it was so effective. Since began to
diet | have been weighed often. The
other day when James was buying
liver for the cat he remarked that he
wished there were reliable scales In
the neighborhood to weigh Baby on.
said the butcher, Bring her down
here
Thanks said James; I will
james told me the butcher was ex-
pecting us, so we went He was ready
for US. He had rugged up nice little
shawl arrangement suspended from
the hanging scales to put baby in, and
then he was introduced tome
James hasn't called me Baby SINCE
New York Times.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19
QUEER NATURAL HISTORY.
Some Curious Eighteenth Century De-
ser.ptions Of Animals

Some curious speciments Of folklore
and natural history are contained In q
rare book called The SporiSman's
Dictionary" which was published to-
ward the end Of the eighteenth cen
tury. The author was evidently a
Philistine among Philistines in his at
titude toward nature.
OF the master musician, the black
bird. he says:
This bird is known 10y all persons
and is better To be eaten than kept.
being much sweeter to the palate
when dead and well roasted than to
the ear while living; sings about three
months i'm the year. or four at most.
though his song is worth nothing, but
If he I've taught To whistle he is Of
some value, being very loud, though
coarse"
And here is story of the squirrel
with the ring In il of the seventeenth
even more than the eighteenth cen
fury. Il reminds one of the hares Of
Izaak Walton. that changed their sex
es once a year:
"If what is reported of them he true
the admirable cunning of the squirrel
appears in her (where we commonly
use his when the sex need not be
specified our ancestors often used
herr swimming or passing over riv-
er, for when she is constrained 10y
hunger so to do she seeks out some
rind or small bark of a tree, which shC
sets upon the water and then goes into
it, and, holding up her tail like sail
lets the wind drive her TO the othel
side and carries meat in her moutf
to prevent being famished by thu
length of the VOYAGE
OF the wild boar we have this: "AnC
what place sOever he bites, whethe
man or dog. the heat of his teeth causes
inflammation in the wound. If there
fore he does but touch the hair of
dog he burns off-nay, huntsmen hav
tried the heat of his teeth by laying
hairs on them as soon as he was dead
and they have shriveled up as if touch
ed with a hot iron"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19

Senator Theodore E. Burton Of Ohio,
who is a bachelor and has never been
ensnared by the wiles of women, tells
a story of young lady and judge of
his acquaintance. The former was a
witness in the latter's court. The pros
ecuting attorney had repeatedly put to
her questions which she persistently
evaded under the plea that she did not
comprehend his meaning, whereupon
his honor undertook to bring out the
proper reapoAs. :. Leaning over, he
said In kindly and fatherly manner:
Young wO4Ian. why is II that you
insist in refusing to understand the
questions OF COUNSEL You are II per
son Of charm, grace, beauty and more
than average intelligence and
Thank you, your honor" interrupt.
ed the young woman, IF 1t We're not
for the fact, judge, that l am under
oath | would return the compliment
National Monthly.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19
The Best Hour of Life

is when you do some great deed or dis
cover some wonderful fact This hour
came to j. r Pitt, of Rocky Mt, N. e.,
when he was suffering intensely, as he
says, 'from the worst cold | ever had, !
then proved to my great satisfaction
what a wonderful Cold and Cough cure
DR.. Kings New Discovery is. For, after
taking one bottle, was entirely cured
You can't say anything too good of a
medicine like that 1t is the surest
and best remedy for Diseased Lungs
Hem orrhages. LaGrippe, Asthma, Hay
Fever, any Throat or Lung Trouble
soc. Sl.00. Trial bottle free. Guar.
anteed by j, w. Thurston.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19
INDIANS AND BULLETS.
A Sample of the Strenuous Lite IN
Kentucky IT, WI.

Kentucky IT, VII.
In III. while Hnrrodsburg. NY"
was SO beset With Indians that the
inhabitants were IN straits for daiy
bread. a young man. only sixteen years
old made himself extremely useful by
yenturipg out OF the fort before day
break and returning with a load OF
game after nightfall. This intrepid
youth was James Ray. afterward Cen
eral Ray.
One day in the year just mentioned
Ray and another young man were
shooting at mark near the fort. when
the second man was suddenly shot
down by the Indians. Ray looked 10
the direction whence the shot had
come. saw the enemy and was on the
point of raising his rife when be was
set upon by another band who had
crept near him unseen.
He took TO his heels and. being 0
ouick runner. reached the fort amid q
shower of bullets. but the gates were
shut. and the men inside were SC
frightened that they dared not open
them. Finding himself shut out Ray
threw himself Hat on the ground IN
the rear of stump. aud here. perhaps
seven steps from the fort and within
sight of his mother. he lay for fouI
hours. while the bullets of the Indians
tore up the ground on either side OF
him.
At last he grew impatient and called
out to the garrison:
For heavens sake. dig hole unde'
the cabin wall and take me in!
The men inside set TO work imme
dlately. and the brave young hunter
was speedily safe inside the fort.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19
THE OPIUM HABIT.
a. EHsets as Described By Bill Nys IN
His Memoirs

have always had a horror OF OPT
.tes OF all kinds. They ars 50 seductive
and so stlll In their operations. They
steal through the blood like wolf on
the trail and they seize on the heart
With their white fangs till IL Is still
forever.
Up the Laramie there Is a cluster OF
ranches at the base OF the Medicine
Row. near the north end OF sheep
mountain. Well. a young man whom
we will call Curtis lived at one OF
these ranches years ago, and. though
n quiet. mlnd-your-own-business TEL
low who had absolutely no enemies
among his companions, he had the
misfortune to incur the wrath OF a
tramp sheepherder, who waylaid Cur
tis one afternoon and shot him dead
as he sat In his buggy. Curtis wasn't
armed
A rancher came into town and tele-
graphed TO Curtis father, and then
half dozen citizens went out to help
capture the herder, who had hed TO
the foothills.
They didn't get back till toward day
break, but they brought the herder
with them. | saw him in the gray OF
the morning, lying In coarse gray
blanket on the floor OF the engine
house. He was dead.
| asked, as a reporter, how he came
to his death and they told me
opium" The murderer had taken
poison when he found that escape was
impossible.
was present at the inquest so thai
| could report the case. There was
very little testimony, but all the eyi
dence seemed to point to the fact tina
life was extinct, and verdict of dealt
by his own hand was rendered.
| Ii was the first opium work | nae
ever seen, and 1t aroused my curiosity
Death by opium, it seems, leaves
dark ring around the neck. l die
not know this before. People who di'
by opium also tie their hands togethe
before they die. This is one OF tn
eccentricities Of opium poisoning tina
| have never seen laid down In TIT
books. bequeath 1t to medica
science. Whenever | run up against
new scientific discovery | just hand l
right over to the public without cost.
Ever since the above incident l.hav
been very apprehensive about peopl
who seem to be likely TO form tn
opium habit. 1t is one of the mos
deadly narcotics, especially in new
| country
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19
What Napoleon Couldn't Do,

An incident connected with Napoleon
when he was In exile in Elba is com
memorated on the island to this day
by an inscription affixed to the wall Of
a peasants house. man named Gia-
conf was blowing when the famous
exile came along one day and eX-
pressed an interest In his work. Ma
poleon even took the pillow handles and
attempted to guide it himself. but the
oxen refused to obey him. overturned
the pillow and spoiled the furrow The
inscription runs thus:
Napoleon the Great, passing by this
place in MDCCCXIV, took in the
neighboring field plow from the
hands Of peasant and himself tried
to pillow. but the oxen. rebplious to
those hands which yet had guided Eu
rope, headlong fed from the furrow.
st. Louis Republic.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19
Inc Guarantea.

Gobsa Golde, the American million
aire. accompanied by his daughter,
Miss Lolita. picked out a Rembrandt at
a foreign dealers and then, before
planking down the cash. said very
sternly:
Now, see here, sir, do you guarantee
this RembrandtY'
Yes, Mr.. Golde," the dealer replied.
"A seven years guarantee goes with
the canvas"
"Oh. very WELL" said Gobsa. moli.
fed. and he took out his check book
and fountain pen.-Washington Star
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19

Charles Sumner when In London
gave ready reply. At dinner given
In his honor he spoke of 1.-The Gshes" of
some dead hero Ashes. What Amer
lean English" rudely broke In an Eng.
lishman. Dust you mean. Mr.. Sum-
ner. We don't burn our dead In this
country" Yet" instantly replied Mr.
Sumner. with courteous smile, your
poet Gray tells us that Even In our
ashes live their wonted fires" The
American was not criticised again that
evening.-Argonaut.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19
FORTUNE ISLAND.
The Story of the Buried Prize OF an
EnuIish Buccaneer.

The story OF the buried frize OF sh
English Buccaneer.
An English buccaneer, having looted
and fred rich prize. found himself
pursued In turn by a Spanish pirate,
and in order to save his treasure sought
some Isolated shore on which TO bury
II until the time came 10 divide the
spoils with his followers So he ran
into the Bahama group and. landing on
low lying strip of sand and palm
trees, cached his plumber and. naming
the place Fortune island. sailed away.
He left number of negro slaves be.
hind TO guard the buried treasure. and
descended from these slaves. The For
tune islanders believe the old sea rover
never returned for his chest and that
II Is still hidden somewhere near the
tide level 1t Is no uncommon sight
for tourists on the rare occasions when
q steamer stops there to see some half
naked black man digging In the sand.
probably In obedience to dream or
other sign
The natives are half civilized. exceed
ingly superstitious and very poor and
live mostly on fish and fruit They
do not attempt to plant vegetables pre-.
fering TO rely on the bounty of nature,
as The fierce hurricanes that sweep the
Bahamas soon uproot and destroy gar.
dens The little colony Is huddled to-
gether In collection of squalid huts
that are blown clear away In nearly
every storm and have TO be built anew.
The island is nine miles long and a
mile wide at the broadcast part and lies
10 miles northeast of Cuba. New
York Press.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19
A WITTY Plsg..
He Teld use MissiOnsr, s,-...
the oeeasI1- ~ff


the oeeazI1r. ~
ofncial bribery Is r. ..-
east. and Il Is Il tender ..
as Il humorous story r.. .rr
Rev. II. II. Jessup, b. Q. ..I..,
-Fifty-three Years d. Sr.-
witness. H
One day in 1873 Dr. San Ir.t
sger Of the press ia r.r...-f.- --
the work Of prUpugmHr .fr..s-1..2
Protestant college at o. la ''-l
for by kamil Pasha, rIr e.r.-.
come To the serai, as o., .....I...'
shut up the press for 20 MI. .H,tr..,'.P
press laws. Dr. Van IH. rr. W.
to the serai and asked o.. ra.r. . ..l
he meant. '-l
The pasta, holding un Hr.r
said, WAS this printed gr s.gr rr.
Yes"
Then IT must Ice Con. allied ..
contains an attack on rhr TnrGrI. -,
eminent"
wherein" asked Ir yap Dr,
"does it attack the guvvr.m.Isr N
The pasta pointed un .r.-.l.
sages which crit, isrd Oboe. Drill .rr..,
corruption everywhere r.ra..r, o.,
jury and lying anon. ......... .
public officials and the fa.r n.r .,,.-
had fallen in the streets arI s.r'.-
could not enter"
Are not these Statement. ,-.-
said Dr. Van Dyck IS .., ,r..r.-.
ought tn put copy into tNr hand. /,
every government oiH,lu in ynpr ..
shalic. Is II not So"
Have you never hna,g .ho story 81,
the Cadi el All War a,U.g rb.,s.r,
And what is that" rua-fgi thad,
tor.
We'll" began the ra~. "raa fs..
was famous one eyed aH ful...
One day man came 90 court ana al
dressed him as follows.
Good morning, q .lr eyed cqln
May your day be blessed o one qr4
cadi. / have heard Of rar noble chm,
acter and justice Of the one eyed rad.
and l would ask the distinguished al
revered one eyed cadi Co., do me in,
tice. and
"'Stopr Interrupted the cadi Sr,
posing | am one eyed, d. want 70 10
everlastingly reminded If #: Get ont
of my sight"
"And So" concluded the ra>ha I'VE
know that these reflections on ON,
country and our courts are true. bu
we don't want to be publicly Reminded
of itp'
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19
Curious Old ENGLISH Law.


1t is interesting to recall in connec-
ton with railway accidents that only
a few years back any instrument
which by accident was the immediate
cause of loss of human life became In
English law "deodand" Is, be-
came forfeit to the crown. to be de-
voted to pious purposes. This law ap-
plies to locomotives, but in course Of
time coroners' juries, instead of claim
ing the forfeit, inflicted fine. In the
year 1888 a locomotive on the Liver
pool and Manchester line which by
exploding caused the death of its en-
gineer and fireman was fined EGO,
while the following year another en-
CINE on the same line was fined Fl, 400.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19

At the piano Mrs Eaton was guiding
Edith and Edward aud Jack through
the intricacies of an old English melo-
dy when she became aware that the
twins were adding their voices from
an indiscreet distance and stopped
playing.
Children" she exclaimed. you are
not allowed to join In the chorus with
Edith and Edwardw
I'VE weren't" the twins protested,
In slightly resentful tones. I'VE were
singing something quite different
Youths Companion.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19
Acute or Chronic Which?

No matter if your kidney trouble il
acute or chronic Foley, Kidney Rem.
edy will reach your case. Mr. Claude
Brown, ReynoIdsville, M, write, %
that he suffered many ooo0., with KID.
ney complaint which tat6rI all treat.
ment. AT last he tried Eo.~,> Kidney
Remedy and few Iar-- bottle, effected
a complete cure. He SAYS, at ba, bern
of inestimable value to me-. John w.
Thurstou.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19
They Have A Definite Purpose

Foley Kidney Pills give quick relief
in cases of kidney and bladder ailments.
Mrs Rose Chaser, Terre Haute, Ind.
tells the result in her case. CATER suf-
fering for many years from serious
case of kidney trouble and spending
much money for so called cures, ]
found Foley Kidney Pills the only medi-
cine that gave me permanent cure. ]
am again able to be up and attend to
my work. | shall never hesitate to
recommend them" John w. Thurston
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19

a portable theater had been pitc he'd
In an out of the way spot where the
prospective theatrical patrons were
unsophisticated in matters dramatic
The players possessed the costumes
Tor Hamlet" and Shakespeare's trag.
edy Was selected for representation
1t then occurred to the proprietors Of
the show that the mime might not at.
tract, so they altered the title to Flow
the Stepfather Was Paid Outw-Lon.
don Mail.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19
A GIorioua Part

AT last" exclaimed the low CO.
median. Il have part that just suits
me-
Good" said the first old lady. "You
IRE the only actor ever knew who
was thoroughly satisfied with bis part
What Is it?'
oh. the part Isn't much. as far as
that goes, but I'm supposed to be q
burglar. and | break into pantry and
eat a real meal at every performance
Chicago Record Herald.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19

SchOpenhauer, when staying in Ge-
neva, used to go every day to a table
d'hote at which now and then ap-
peared other distinguished visitors.
Once Lady Byron sat next to him.
Doctor" said the host after she had
left, with a twinkle in his eye, "doc-
tor do you know who sat next to you
at the table today? 1t was Lady By
rom
"Why the deuce did you not tell me
this before?' replied Schopenhauer; Il
should have liked to be rude to her"
That was what | feared" said the
host, land for that reason l kept 1t
quiet"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19
Very Thorough.

New York's collector of customs
was talking about smuggling.
Smuggling must cease" he said
well make it cease, if we have to be
as strict and thorough as the French
customs officer. This strict officer
standing on the pier, frowned on a
tourist with swollen cheek.
What have you got there?" he said
pointing to the swelling.
"An abscess, sir was the reply.
Well said the officer impatiently
open 1t, please Washington Star.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19
BOYS Can Make Money

picking up Bones and sending them so
us. We pay 65 cents per hundred for
almost anything in the Bone line, if dry.
For clean, dry, boiled butchers or house
bones we pay as high As 50 cents per
hundred. At these prices We pay the
freight from nearly all stations on ship
ments of 200 pounds or more. Ship in
barrels or cheap sacks.
Carroll S. Page, Hyde Park, Vt
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19
Stagaers Skeptics

That clean, nice, fragrant compound
like Bucklen's Arnica Salve will in.
stantly relieve bad burn, cut, scald,
wound or piles, staggers skeptics. But
great cures prove its wonderful healer
of the worst sores, ulcers, boils, felons,
eczema, skin eruptions, as also chappe1
hands, sprains and corns. Try it. $50
at j. w. Thurstou's. - y,
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19
From Sickness to Excellent
Health.

SO says Mrs. Chas Lyon, Peoria, Ill:
81 found in your Foley kidney Pills a
prompt aud speedy cure for backache
and kidney trouble which bothered me
for many months. am now enjoying
excellent health which | owe to Foley
Kidney Pills" John W. Thurston.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19
For Quick Relief Fre m Hay Fever

Asthma and summer bronchitis, take
Foley's Honey and Tar. 1t quickly re-
leves the discomfort and suffering and
the annoying symptoms disappear. 1t
soothes aud heals the infamed air pas
>ages of the head, throat aud bronchial
tubes. Ii contains no opiates and no
harmful drugs. Refuse substitutes
John W. Thurston.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19

For that distressed feeling after eat
ing, belching and nausea between meals,
take Bloodine. 1t cures Dyspepsia by
strengthening the digestive organs so
that they are capable of fulfilling their
functions. John W. Thurston, special
agent.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19

Any woman with pimples, skin erup
tions, sores or boils does not appear at
tractive and cannot enjoy life. Bloodint
Ointment cures them and makes the
skin soft and velvety. Cures cold sores
cracked lips, chapped hands, sore eyes
itching and bleeding piles. John "
Thurston. special agent.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19
A SAMPLE of SUGGESTION.

A popular comedian and playwright
was praising the humorous value OF
suggestions.
1T is funnier to suggest thing"
he said, than to say it out. Play
wrights should remember this. Sugges-
ton, pregnant suggestion, is what
makes really funny the little boys re-
mark to his father:
"'Pa, if you help me with my arith-
metic lesson tonight I'll tell you where
ma hid your trousers New York
Sim
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19

"Why," asked her anxious and excit-
ed mother, do you think he is coming
to the point at lastT'
"Well," the maiden replied. looking
demurely down at the rug. when he
took me in his arms and kissed me last
night he said he'd got so used to me
he didn't believe he could ever break
himself of the habit"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19

Standing over the shattered remains
of their last Dresden china statuette,
the exasperated mistress said to the
awkward servant:
us there anything you haven't
broken since you have been with meY'
'Yes, num-" replied the servant. Il
have yet to break me record for de-
structiveness."-B Baltimore American
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19
He workad Or

Wife George. this burning Of the
candle at both ends means an untimely
grave. 1t Is nearly IL o'clock. Come
to bed. George But I'm doing this
night work In order to find money
enough to buy you birthday present
Wife Well. If you will persist In work
Ing of course | can't stop 1t. Good
night. dear.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19

A 80 cent bottle of Bloodiue Rheu.
matte Lii iment will last longer than
the most aggravated case of sore throat.
A most effective remedy for cold on
chest, Group, etc. John w. Thurslon,
special agent.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19
Aer .lewaIa

Mrs. Subbubs Ito Willie
and Bobbie aren't home from school
yet, and here 1t is 8 o'clock Did you
Zee anything Of my precious jewels as
you came along. Mr.. Nexdore? Mex
dore-Your precious jewels are in
soak, madam. just saw them swim
ming in the river.-Boston Transcript.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19

Did that sarcastic letter you wrote
to the mhkman requesting him to let
you attend to the job of watering the
milk now that you have "A new filter
in the kitchen faucet have any effect?''
ut did," said the jokester. He de-
livers the bottles now only two-thirds
full."-New York Sun.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19
A Biuaer Bid.

A Lincolnshire parish once possessed
clergyman who was not much appre,
ciated One day he remarked to his
church warden: you people don't
seem to appreciate me. Do you know
that on leaving my last sphere of work
the people showed their appreciation
so much that they gave me real
silver slaverY'
That is nothing" was the church,
wardep's reply. IF thai would only
go away from this parish we'd give
thee gold unw-London Chronicle.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19

10 keep your health sound to avoid
the Ills OF advancing years to conserve
your physical forces for ripe and
healthful old age, guard your kidneys
by taking Foley's Kidney Remedy.
John w. Thurston,
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19

For sore throat there is positively nc
remedy that will relieve so quickly and
cure permanently the most aggravated
case, as Bloodine Rheumatic Eminent
John W. Thurston, special agent
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19
No Termination,

James. can trust you with the key
to the wine cellar?
The New Butler (stiffiy)-C Certainly.
sir! have seen all the labels.-Life
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19
Foley Kidney Pills

. Tonic in quality and action, quick in
results. For back ache, headache, dizzi-
ness, nervousness, urinary irregularities
and rheumatism. John W. Thurston.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19
TickIish.

How many ribs have you" asked
the teacher.
Il don't know. ma'am." giggled Sal
lie. I'm SO awfully ticklish. l could
never count 'em."-Lippincotts.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-19

Bell-Did | understand yon to Sy
that the deutist oyrgcmrgrd youi
Nell-Ye be gave lie enough gas 70
Initiate a balloon. - Kansas City Jour
nal