davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-01
GLOBE SIGHTS.

LFrom the Atchison Globe.1
Every lawyer tries to be more or less
they haven't time for anything else.
We admire the man who wins a medal,
particularly If he leaves 1t at home.
ped out for him by the school teachers.
Men are all selfish: They would rather
be late to dinner than to have to wait for
Which, by the way, constitutes the Best
Families in a town: Meat three times
day, or false hair?
to the fact that no magazine devoted to
their fashions has a million circulation.
We don't care much about Walt. Whit
man, and don't know much about him,
except that he was no friend of the bar
bers.
There are a number of methods Of at
tanning success: A number of stage
dancers seems to have arrived by not in
vesting all their meager earnings in
The Lancaster Literary Society reports
It is unable to reach a decision on this
question: Resolved-That there is more
reason for a man to be grateful to his
wife for cooking a steak well, than there
is for her to be grateful because he
IT don't understand women Today I
met woman 1 have known thirty years,
and she offered to shake hands with me-
1 am certain was not particularly cor
dial. but she jerked her hand away as
1 did not''-Drake Watson.
The sight of frightful looking woman
wearing an old wrapper and sitting in
a kitchen chair in the back yard while
her hair hangs in dripping strings about
wash their hair that way. but every once
in a while a strange looking washing ap-
FOUND thing. which looks ike halt. of a
cocoanut shell Ca turban rat: A switch
or two, and long braid: the lady of the
house has been washing her hair and it is
drying.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-01
QUAKER NEGOTIATIONS.
[From the Philadelphia Record.I

LFrom the Philadelphia Record.1
When money talks it frequently says,
81 told you So"
A man is merely as old as he feels, but
even that is bad enough sometimes.
The agricultural editor says it's good
plan not to pull leg before it is ripe
One half the world, driving automobiles.
doesn't know how the other half lodges
When a woman Wits her dressmaker
would you refer to H. as close call?
A strange thing about overshoes is that
they are worn out the very first time
you wear them.
Tommy-"Pop, what is hope?" Tom
mmy's Pop-"Breaktng pair to draw to
flush, my son.
There are men who never deceive US
for the simple reason that we wouldn'-
believe a word they say, anyhow.
Hoax-"What is the best rule to OBJ
serve in operating an aeroplane7" coax
BE sure you are Wright and then go
ahead"
Blobbs-''she. has no fortune and she's
nearly twice his age; I wonder what ever
induced him to marry her. Slobbs-"I
suppose she did"
Foolishness depends upon the point OF
view. a man is seldom as great a fool
as he appears to his friends, but more OF
d fool than he appears to himself.
Muggins-"My wife is the most careful
housekeePer in the world" Buggtns-
HUH How about mine? She kicked the
other day because got some ink stains
on the pen wiper.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-01
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
[From the ChIcago News.l

LFrom the Chicago News.1
How we blow when we begin to put on
airsl
DO not seek in others what you conceal
in yourself.
It's a case OF long suffering when a
giraffe has a sore throat
Ever know a sneak thief to steal into
a house and take bath7
It isn't the tears q woman sheds in
public that wear burrows in her complex
Ion.
A woman can generate as much interest
in a church social as man can In =
prize fight
And when young widow means bust
ness It Is up to the wise bachelor to trek
for the tall timber.
The average man insists that he wouldn't
do anything mean. yet there is a lot OF
petty meanness in the world.
If we ever publish a dictionary we will
define mollycoddle an a man whose every
act meets with the approval of his wife's
mother.
II married woman Is looking for trou-
bic all she has to do is read extracts 10
her husband from the letters he wrote
her during their courtship.
The man who attempts to grow fuzz on
his bald pate hasn't any cause to loTa n
over bis wife Just because she spends :
few dollars Tor hair switch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-01
RAILROAD RATES.

It is the expressed opinion of Martin
A. Knapp, chairman of the interstate
commerce commission and his opinion
is shared by his associates on that
body, that domestic freight rates are
freer from unjust determinations and
more satisfactory in general than they
have been before. And from the lack
Of agitation nowadays on the part of
the public against the railroads, as
compared with what it was two or
three years ago. it would appear that
these opinions are well founded.
Much of the credit for this excellent
condition of affairs belongs to the rail-
roads. OF course, they have been the
subject for much regulatory legislation
at the hands of state legislatures and
the national congress during the past
ten years But all of this legislation
combined, even if there had been more
success than there has been in the
efforts which have been made to en-
force it, would not have succeeded IN
bringing about the present condition of
affairs in respect to rates, if the rail-
roads themselves had not shown will
ing disposition to correct the many
evils in the matter Of rates which they
had permitted in the first instances to
creep into their methods of manage
ment and doing business.
In all probability, no one, not even the
heads of the railroads themselves, will
insist that such things as discrimina-
tory rates do not now exist. But 1T IS
safe to say that most of the discrimina-
ton which now prevails is not OF the
kind where one shipper has anything
of advantage over another shipper in his
own locality. Rather do the discrimina-
tions of today relate to rates in one
particular locality as against rates Tor
a similar service to another locality. 1t
is scarcely conceivable that freight n
even passenger rates should be uniform
throughout the entire country. But
there does not appear to be any good
reason why different places in the same
immediate territory should have an ad-
vantage over each other in the matter
of rates Many such determinations
now exist. 1t is quite reasonable to
suppose, however, that the railroads
will meet the legislators and the people
more than half way in remedying these
evils as plans for their correction can
be worked out.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-01


Mr.. Rodnian. And, queerly enough.
the friend he was expecting didn't
show up, so we sat together and had q
lovely time. But what detained yot<
Peggy 20
ooh, something unexpected happen
ed at the last minute" Peggy replied.
And she was smiling as she hung UP
the receiver.
1t was to Violet that Mrs. Ellsworth
went for information a month later.
What about this young Rutherford
who is always hanging about Peggy
Dixon? Are they engaged or not?"
'tShe says not-yet," laughed Violet.
But the announcement won't surprise
anybody"
ed triumphartly. IT met them at the
theater a few weeks ago and when
she introduced me she blushed in a
fashion that gave the whole thing
away. 1 told my husband about it
that evening md said to him, Mark
my words, Tom, that's as good as set
tied "-(Copyrighted 1910 by Asso-
ciated Literary Press.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-01
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Countless things lose much of their
attractiveness after they are acquired.
y \
If dreams came true there would be
much more unpleasantness in the
world.
The only good thing about a quarrel
is that it affords an opportunity for
making up.
When folly puts on the gloves with
wisdom the fight Is short and there's
never any doubt as to the outcome.
X x =
Any number of men fail because they
are obsessed with the hallucination that
the world is against them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-01
HUMOR or THE Day

IT the people bust the beef trust i may
people don't eat meat they wont consume
toothpicks. kansas City Times.
DIR. Allow is it that you are so sue
cessful? DR.. B.-I confine myself to ofrlca
practice. Or. A-But what's the answer?
pr. B:-People who are able to walk. TO
they are.-Cleveland Leader.
He says he is an average man That's
eonceited, don't you thinkT'-Birmingham
Age-Herald.
Artistic careful, because the paint is
fresh!' Mollycoddle with finger ON
painting he is examining in studio)-
Never mind; shall wash my hands later.
Judge.
Fair visitor-what did they put you in
prison for? No. 999-Tm here as a result
of a missing-word contest, mum. Fair
Visitor.What do you mean? No. s99-I
the pOlice.-Puck
budding genu we ead yo onat turned out
to be a blooming idiot?-Cieveland
Leader.
There goes a man 1 could have mar
ried," she said softly. Some men never
quietly, and she is still wondering what
he meant.-Detroit Free Press.
mounting all these stairs every day to
collect this bill. Debtor-Well, l can tell
After tomorrow I'm going to live in the
basement-Pele Mele.
when he was boy he wore a large
patch on his trousers without a trace of
verv ric nlan5 ne carre s-n lot
Herald
Little Bessie-Mamma. how'll 1 know
I'm naughty? Mother-Your conscience
will tell you, dear; Little BessieaI don't
you?-Harper's Monthly.
Tommy-You treat your doll Jes as if
you was her real nanny, don't your
Kitty (seriously offended)-Indeed 1 don't!
L never spank her bit!-Chicago Tribune
Hogan-Pwhat makes We swally all your
dinner in two minutes, Grogan? Are yez
atm on a bet? Grogan-It's for the good
av me dyspepsy, Moilze. Sure the dochter
tould me to rist an hour after attn; and
rist in onless OF ate like the divil?-Boston
Transcript.
Plainly Apparent.-"Pardon me-" began
the new acquaintance, but are you the
Mr.. Galley Nuritch who wrote that mag,
interrupted Nuritch, but. of course,
you'll understand that I don't make q
course, 1 know that. 1 read the article
Catholic Standard and Times.
What makes the trust magnate look SO
worried?" He has just read that the
American farmer is very prosperous, and
he feels that he must have overlooked
something. Houston Post.
''They say remarked young Sapleigh,
''that death loves a shining mark, doncher
know. oh, well, don't let that worry
you" retorted Miss Sharp. You are not
so brilliant. Chicago Daily News.
How about your cook? When I saw
you last month. you were quite dissatis-
fled with her.: Was II? responded the
with five or six cooks since then."-Louis-
vile Courier Journal.
do you think at the schools they ought
to teach girls to cook in extenso?" mo:
they ought to teach 'em to cook in the
kitchen.'-Baltimor American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-01

Massachusetts, has produced the
youngest mathematician: Illinois has
come forward with the youngest biol
ugist and now Connecticut asks FOR
recognition as being the home of the
youngest licensed preacher. About the
only thing that Kansas can offer in
this line are youngsters who can pro-
duce corn. But they'll be riding around
ir their automobiles when their more
"cultured'' and learned" competitors
for high honors are taxing their won
derful inEenuities to find street car
cara.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-01
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
[From the New York Press.1

When they are yorrs they are nerves;
when somebody else S, temper.
A thing th1t makes for tremendous
love affair is to put 1t in novel.
If person really understood himself
he might have a Chance to Understand
other people.
Wealth causes more moral diseases than
it cures physical ones, but nobody is
afraid to try 1T.
Nothing discourages a woman more
about her husband than for him not to
take any interest in whom the richest
girl is going to marry when he doesn't
know either OF them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-01

The automobilist who, after running
down a pedestrian, speeds on without
stopping to ascertain the extent of the
injuries he may have caused, is not
only cowardly by nature but also of
criminal tendencies. No efforts should
be spared to apprehend such man
and he should be treated in the same
fashion as are other mean and despica-
bic rrfY7fpa1c
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-01

Just as all the hues on the agricul-
sural horizon had begun to look rosy
the experts in that particular field come
out with a prediction of possible corn
famine in the near future because
farmers have permitted their seed corn
to deteriorate. The views of these ex-
perts, of course are entitled to sober
attention, but if things work out in
this respect as they usually do, a bum
per corn crop for next year is assured
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-01

The confession of bloody and out
rageous career by that negro who kill
ed the Bork family, and who has
already started in on a life sentence in
the states penitentiary, is reminiscent
of the tale of crimes related by Harry
Orchard. AMI perhaps about as much
dependence ought to be placed in 1t.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-01

This is an important fact for the
voters Of the city to keep in mind. At
the commission primary each voter
may vote for but one candidate for
mayor and for but four of the candi-
dates for the commissionerships. If
ne votes for more than this number
his ballot will be invalidated. He may
vote for any less number, though. as
his fancy dictates.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-01

Belgium is certainly the railroad
travellers paradise. A third class rail-
road ticket is sold there which entities
the purchaser to ride anywhere he
pIeases and as often as he likes for
five days. The cost of such a ticket is
So. If similar railroad rates prevailed
here a person could travel from one
end of the country to the other and
part of the way back for the price of a
seat to a high class theatrical perform
ance.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-01

New York states banking superin-
tendent declares that the people in that
commonwealth do not demand or want
postal savings banks. But 1t hap
pens that the people of New York do
not voice the sentiments of the people
of the entire nation, regardless Of their
opfnfons in the premises.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-01

March has come in like a lamb and
the wiseacres are beginning to shud-
der of its exit like a lion. In all proba-
bility, though there is no more reason
to place any stock in weather prog
nostication on this basis than there is
to pay any attention to the antics of
that miserable little nature faker, the
wroundhog
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-01

Preparatory to building a navy of
her own, Canada has entered into ne
gotiations for the establishment OF
great shipyards within her confines.
Certainly, the great universal peace
movement is spreading faster than any
thing else.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-01

One of the magazines for March has
for it's leading article story from a
hunter who is familiar with the dan
egrous conditions in East Africa. It
is run under the caption of will
Roosevelt Return Alive?''
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-01

A Joker has been found in the
new insurance law which makes it
even more favorable to the state.
That's an unusual kind of Joker
to make it's appearance in any kind of
IerisIatiOn
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-01

Every day or so comes rather indis-
putable evidence of the truth of the
contention that there is nothing in a
name Among the latest instances is
the winning of a prize fight by a gen
tleman who answers to Honey Melody.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-01
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The concluding hunt Of the Roose-
welt expedition. which will take place
on Lake No, will likely result in the
baEsfng of a init or two.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-01

Occasionally the expected happens.
Large independent oil interests in
Oklahoma have been gobbled up by
the standard Oil company.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-01
ENJOYING A FORTUNE.

Mrs. Russell Sage has just journeyed
through the South, and left behind her
string of gifts amounting to half
million dollars. Thus she maintains
her distinction Of being the greatest
woman philanthropist. And she is be-
ing praised in proportion to her gener-
osity Also, If there is as much joy
in giving as has been stated, she is
having a pretty good time with her
fortune. But, although he has been
several years dead, you hear little In
favor of the man who made this phil
anthropy possible. Russell Sage WASH
noted for gifts to anyone. not even to
himself. Therefore, he was abused a
good deal, and pointed out as the
stingiest man in New York, which was
doubtless, an exaggeration. But there
are lot of different kinds OF people
in the world, and who shall say that
he, too, didn't enjoy this fortune, now
being distributed for the general good
Probably he did more than he could
have enjoyed anything else. Making
money must have represented a good
time to him, else why should he have
kept at 1t after having more than he
could possibly need? It wasn't that
he wished to provide a fortune to keep
his wife's philanthropy going; he
wasn't that kind. But, as she has done
good, he must have done good. for he
made it possible. And both have en-
loved one of the great American for
tunes. because both were well-behaved
and lived sensibly. which, after all. IS
the most important rule for rich and
poor.-Atchison Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-01
A NEW MONEY STANDARD.

A plan to do away with the gold
standard as the basis of our currency
system is urged in The Independent by
Prof J. Pease Norton. professor Of po-
known writer on financial subjects.
Professor Norton believes that the
present difficulty Of high prices, like
other vexatious problems of the last so
years, is due largely to the fact that
gold has become decidedly unstable as
a. standard of value. Just as one COM
modify after another has been rejected
as a standard of value because of this
very fault of Instability due to wide
fluctuations in quantity, so it viii be-
come necessary, he says. to abandon
the use of gold for that purpose. The
large increase in the production OF
gold in re cent years. he says. is due
to the progress of engin eering chemis-
try, which has devised a means of ex-
has completely changed mining condi-
lions and forced the civilized world
to consider this problem.
Professor Norton's proposition is not
to substitute any one commodity for
gold as a money standard, nor vet to
inaugurate a regime of fiat money, but
to base the currency upon all our sta
pie commodities He suggests that the
unit of our future multiple standard
be called a "dilI' and that a dill
should equal the purchasing power OF
a gold dollar at such time as the new
system went into effect and that
thereafter a stdiII" represent that much
value of all standard products which
enter into the cost of living. He de-
clares that this would end once and
for all. the troubles which have beset
US in connection with the gold stand
ard. bimetalism, and so forth.-Spring-
field Union.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-01
FpON OTHER PENS
BRITISH DEMOCRACY.

.r'he task of self-government be-
comes all tho harder when a tempest
sweeps the ancient landmarks away.
In England, for example, the problem
of altering the constitution to suit new
form. The hereditary principle, on
which the legislative prerogatives of
the peers are based. can not survive in
this shape. How, then, is the upper
house to be reformed along modern
lines without removing all checks from
whim of the commons? The closest
philosopher will answer the question
off-hand, but the practical statesman
will think twice and thrice before he
breaks with ideals which have their
roots deep in the past. Admitting that
kind of a legislator is to be put in his
place? And, assuming that no bounds
are to be set to the might of the COM
mons, what sort of safeguard are mi
norities to have? The Englishman,
finding his rights imperiled by the ma
jority of the hour, can not seek refuge
in tho courts. as the American can;
not nuLify, acts of parliament, how
ever absurd and oppressive they
chance to be. Thus the British democ-
racy is face to face with one of those
issues which transcend the largest is
sues which the ordinary budget and
the ordinary legislative program pre-
sent. At such crisis the depths of a
democracy's soul are searched IN
peace, as in war, it is the ability to
take punishment that counts and a
free people has sometimes to endure
those ills it has, rather than rush to
others that it knows not of.-New Or
leans Times-Democrat.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-01

Tommy-You treat your doll jes' as if
you was her real nanny, don't you?
Kitty seriously offended)-Indeed don't!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-01

Little Bessie-Mamma. how'll 1 know
I'm naughty? Mother-Your conscience
will tell you dear. Little Bessie don't
care about what it tells me-will It tel
you?-Harpers Monthly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-01
Typewriters i'm Manila.

Typewriters, or marquinas de escri-
Dir, as the Filipinos say, were novelties
when we came. Adding machines and
cash registers were put down as crazy
American fables. Now you can hear
their click and ring from the busy
houses on the Escolta, Manila's Broad
way, into the dark and dingy shipping
and brokerage offices in Gale Anloague
the city's Wall street. Up to date fill
ing cases, card index systems, loose
leaf ledgers, fiat top desks, and con-
veniences of that nature are finding
fast favor with the natives as well es
with some of the foreigners.
The Spanish office desk was formerly
a marvel of beauty, but nothing else 1t
was of the Louis XIV style, with bow
legs, nicely carved; and having a
slanting writing surface. Everything
placed on it had an annoying habit of
rolling into your lap. There were no
drawers or pigeon holes The only re-
ceptacle for fling papers was beneath
the writing board. This had to be
lifted, often at the expense Of upset
ting the ink, each time one chose to
poke his head into the dark corners for
observation-disclosures Woolley, In the
BookkeeQer.