The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1910-08-26
He LOST The RACE
Mark TWain's Futile Chase After
a TalIyho Coach.
MISSED A BIG CELEBRATION.

The Way the Famous Hunorist In
Company With w. D. HowelIs Did
Not Attend the Centennial of the
Battle of the Minutemen at Concord.
In his "reminiscences of Mark Twain
in Harper's Magazine w. D. Howells
tells amusingly of the time when he
and Mr.. Clemens missed the anniver-
sary Of the battle of Concord:
mark Twain came on to Cambridge
in April, 1876, to go with me to the
centennial ceremonies at Concord In
celebration of the battle Of the minute
men with the British troops hundred
years before We both had special In
vitations, including passage from Bos-
ton, but said why bother to go to
Boston when we could just as well
take the train for Concord at the Cam
bridge station. He equally decided
that it would be absurd, so we break
tasted deliberately and then walked to
the station, reasoning Of many things,
as usual.
when the train stopped we found
1t packed inside and out. People stood
dense on the platforms of the cars.
TO our startled eyes they seemed to
project from the windows, and unless
memory betrays me they lay strewn
upon the roofs like brakemen slain at
the post of duty. We remounted the
fame worn steps OF Porter's station
and began exploring North Cambridge
for some means of transportation over
land to Concord, for we were that far
on the road by which the British went
and came on the day Of the battle.
The liverymen whom we appealed to
received us, some with compassion,
some with derision, but in either mood
convinced us that we could not have
hired cat to attempt our conveyance,
much less horse or vehicle of any
description.
"It was raw, windy day. very un-
like the exceptionally hot April day
when the routed redcoats, pursued by
the Colonials, fed painting back to Bos-
ton, with their tongues hanging out
like dogs, but we could not take due
comfort in the vision Of their discom-
future. We could almost envy them,
for they had at least got to Concord.
A swift procession of coaches, car
riages and bugges, all going to Con-
cord, passed us, inert and helpless, on
the sidewalk In the peculiarly cold
mud Of North Cambridge. We began
to wonder IL we might not stop one OF
them and bribe it to take us.
IT felt keenly the shame of defeat
and the guilt of responsibility for our
failure, and when a gay party OF stu
dents came toward us on the top OF
tallyho, luxuriantly empty inside. we
felt that our chance had come and our
last chance. He said that If ! would
stop them and tell them who was
they would gladly, perhaps proudly.
give us passage. contended that IL
with his far vaster renown he would
approach them our success would be
assured.
"Whlle we stood, lost in this contest
of civilitles,' the coach passed us. with
gay notes blown from the horns OF the
students, and then Clemens started In
pursuit, encouraged with shouts from
the merry party, who could not i'm
agine who was trying to run them
down, to a rivalry of speed. The un-
equal match could end only in one
way, and l am glad cannot recall
what he said when he came back to
me. Since then have often wondered
at the grief which would have wrung
those blithe young hearts If they could
have known that they might have had
the company of Mark Twain to Con-
cord that day and did not.
"We hung about unavailingly In the
bitter wind awhile longer and then
slowly, very slowly, made our way
home. We wished to pass as much
time as possible in order to give prob
ability to the deceit we intended to
practice, for we could not bear to own
ourselves bafiied In our boasted wis
dom of taking the train at Porter's
station and had agreed to say that we
had been to Concord and got back.
Even after coming home to my house
we felt that our statement would be
wanting in verisimilitude without fur-
ther delay, and we crept quietly into
my library and made up roaring hre
on the hearth and thawed ourselves
out In the heat of 1t before we regained
our courage for the undertaking. With
all these precautions we failed, for
when our statement was impaired to
the proposed victim she instantly pro-
nounced 1t unreliable. and we We're left
with 1t on our hands intact l think
the humor of this situation was finally
greater pleasure to Clemens than an
actual visit to Concord would have
been. Only few weeks before his
death he laughed our defeat over with
one of my family In Bermuda and ex-
ulted in our prompt detection"