The labor journal. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1909-1976, 1910-03-04
MY POLICIES
GET ANXIOUS
Sends Hurry-Up Call For
Bwano Tumbo to Hit
Trail For Home

WASHINGTON, d. c., Feb. 23.-Ted-
dy-That's Colonel Roosevelt, you know
will be back home in June and if
survive until then and they don't get
me Shanghaiej on South Pole expedi-
tion in the meantime l expect to see
something doing here and at Albany
and get a chance to recuperate. I think
all my trouble comes from being named
"My Policies"
Ever since Teddy left on that fool
jungle journey and turned me over to
Bill Taft, the gang has been tying tin
cans to my tail and heaving bricks at
me and feeding me ground glass and
rat poison. If hadn't got so tough
under Teddy, I'd be under the sod and
the snw now without even a marker, to
show where they'd buried me. AS it is,
I'm in worse shape than Uncle Elihu
Root was when he went up to Muldoon's
for the rest cure. You see Uncle Elihu
tried to take his meals in Wall Street
and Washington at the same time and
that's why he had to 60 to Muldoon's.
never could understand why Teddy
wanted to give Elihu the blue ribbon,
anyway. His pedigree may be all right,
but Morgan and that crowd clipped his
ears when he was young and he wears
the same old collar now that he did then.
Elihu reminds me good deal of our
dear old Chauncey Mitchell Depew, and
when either of them offers me a bone
get it analyzed first to see whether it
came out of Mr.. DuPont's dynamite
factory.
The tariff outfit gave me this bum
paw mean Aldrich, Cannon, Payne
and that crowd-and I've been limping
around on three legs ever since. It's
very inconvenient. 1t wa salways hard
enough for an honest dog to get living
before they sprung that tariff bear trap
on me and put all the bones in cold
storage.
I tell you I got pretty discouraged,
and felt just like crawling under the
barn for good, especially wien they
made Gift Pinchot my last remaining
friend, walk the plank and found that
that man Ballinger had spread lot of
Morgan-Guggenheim arsenic around the
kennel and the trusts We're following me
up with sponge full of chloroform.
In fact the last time Bill Taft tried
to coax me down to the banks of the
Potomac I came near giving in and
following meekly along understanding
full well the meaning of that rope and
keg of nails that Bill carried.
You'll understand how I happened to
get this beautiful eye when / tell you
was up at Albany the other day at
| tending session Of the state legisla.
ture. tried to dig up lot of old
bones that were buried there and-well,
wasn't welcome. It seems they want
to keep just as many fthe skeletons
at Albany underground as possible.
A lot of people like Big Bill and
Uncle Elihu have been writing regular
ly to Teddy, telling him that everything
was lovely here and that was being
treated kindly and he might just as well
spend the rest of his days in Africa,
breaking up the ivory trust and making
good wit hthe Smithsonian Institute
and limiting strongly that there was a
popular demand that he head the ex-
pedition to the South Pole. So l though
I'd put him wise. got him on the long
distance and told him thing or two.
I won't tell you what he said after
| got through, because, if I did, the
Pope wouldn't receive him and he never
would be asked to address a Methodist
conference or Mothers convention
again.
This Is all for the present. / see
Wiekersham sneaking around the corner
with shot gun and I'm going to run
over to New York to visit Loeb for a
week for my health.
Yours truly,
| lin Buffalo Republic, MY POLICIES