davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
Both Stunu.

Some time ago an eminent London
physician requested an equally emf
nent surgeon to accompany him to see
a distinguished but slippery patient
The patient was exceedingly polite to
both the medical gentlemen, shaking
hands with them and bowling them out
of the room in the most affable man
ner. Soon after this professional visit
the same physician called again on the
surgeon, requesting him to accompany
him TO see another patient. On their
way thither the surgeon observed. Il
hope this patient will behave more
literally than the last did"
"Why?" said the NJ. d. did he not
give you fee?"
Not shilling" was the reply.
"1ndeed"' said the eminent physi-
clan. with toss of the head. .sWhy,
he borrowed guineas from me to
give to you.'-Tit- Bits.
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
His Sarcastic Anolonx

A well known New Yorker figured
in quaint encounter with n pan
handler" not long ago. The fellow
had asked him for dime, when the
following conversation took place:
You're positive nuisance! Tues
day you struck me for dime, Thurs
day gave you another. and now you
have the nerve to ask for n thirdw
Excuse me, but are you the gent
that gave me n dime on this corner
the day before yesterday?"
Yes"
And now I've tackled you for the
third dime"
YES"
WAL" said the hobo contritely, "I
sincerely beg your pardon, old man.
That's too much gall even for me.
The only excuse / have to offer is that
you have improved so much In your
personal appearance that l didn't rec
ognize you."-Cleveland Leader.
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
PREACHING and Practice.

w. S. Gilbert on one certain occasion
was on visit to friend. the owner
Of fine English country house. On
the morning after his arrival he was
chatting with his host before break
fast when he became suddenly aware
that family prayers were about to be
read. The household filed in, and the
distinguished guest knelt down on the
spot where he happened to be stand
ing. Looking up. he caught his hosts
eye fixed on him with a warning
glance, which he. however, failed to
read Alright. The service began. "Al-
mighty Father, who hast made all men
alike" more telegraphic giancea. rich
and poor, gentle and sirpIge4-then.
unable to contain himself any slonger,
the host called out. Gilbert. yob are
Ineeling among the servantsw
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
PARAGUAY Iace.

Making lace by hand is Il well de
veloped art in Paraguay. 1t was taught
the natives 200 years ago by the mis-
sionaries and has been transmitted
from generation to generation till 1t is
now quite general throughout the re
public. Some towns are devoted to
making certain kind of lace. In one
town of 5000 or 5000 inhabitants al
most all the women and children and
many Of the men make lace collarets.
handkerchiefs and ladies' ties. An
other town makes lace embroidery and
others drawn thread work, such as
centerpieces. tray mats. teacloths and
doilies. The designs used In making
the lace are taken from the curious
webs of the semltropical spiders that
are so numerous there. On this ac-
count 1t Is called "nanduti," an Indian
name which means spider web.
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
The Tricky EnY

gentleman while hunting near n
riSer one winter day SAW Il fox run
out on the ice and make at full speed
for m opening in the ice where the
rushing water Of the river could be
plainly seen from the bank. says the
Scotsman. At the edge he stopped.
turned. followed his tracks back tothe
bank ard then ran some distance down
the stream and sat there. Soon "a dog
came crashing out OF the woods, bay
ing finely. hot on the fox's trail Now,
dogs when on chase of this kind
trust almost entirely TO their noses.
This one was no exception. He ran
along the ice, head down, and when
he reached the hole he could not stop.
but plunged into the water and disap-
peared forever. Then the fox trotted
away with every sign of satisfaction.
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
LICENSE APPLICATION.

This day j. l.. Corvsn and r. NJ.
Corvin. partners trading as Corvin
Brothers. by their Attorney, J. r. Dill
lard. filed In the Office of the Auditor
of the City 80 BlueGeld, and as such
the Clerk of the Board of Affairs, tho
application OF said ]. L. and r. Nj.
-Corvin for the sale of liquors, at re-
tail. in the Harry & Campbell Build
ing. at 141 Princeton Avenue Al the
City OF BluefeId West Virgil Z. -
&c Swith & Jon covering tbs sx
penses connected with the publicly
ton OF this application, as required by
law, and requests that the same be
published in the two newspapers, to
wit; the Daily Telegraph and thu
Bluefeld Evening Leader. two papeTe
published i'm the City Of Bluefield q
opposite politics. which publication Z
ordered.
]. T. AKERS, Auditor.
S-2-10 4wks.
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
Bio CARGO. Little Shin.

An old official Of the navy tells the
following story OF conversation he
heard between two old sailors:
1T was rat ship 1 was sailin' I'm
that trip" said one OF the shellbacks
lone of the dingdest rat ships / ever
knew. They was rats I'm 1t from bow
to stern. rats I'm the hold, I'm the galley,
in the steerage, in the fo'castle, in
the old mans room-everywhere rats
nothin' but.
''Bimeby It got so bad we had to put
I'm an get them of. So we hooked up
TO dock an fumigated. was on
deck. an l saw them rats leavin'.
counted 'em. They was 100000 Of
'em"
Fifteen millionT asked the other.
Amt that lot o. rats? Are you
sure!'
Sure. Yes, I'm sure. They was
100000 rats. and / counted 'em.
More than that. every rat weighed half
n pound. They was big, fat, sassy
ones, I'm tellin'."
Fifteen million rats, and every one
weighed half n pound, and they all
came off your ship. That's 100000
pounds of rats. Say, Jim, what was
the tonnage of that ship?"
"Oh. about n hundred and fifty tons"
Judge
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
VEGETABLE FOODS.
Spinach Rich In Sulphur and Iron,
Pumpkin In Phosphorus.

The French have saying that "pars-
ley is broom to sweep the stomach"
Lettuce is n nerve food. Radishes
build tissue and are rich IN phosphor-
us and in iron.
Horseradish contains higher per-
centage of sulphur than all the other
vegetable roots. spinach ranking next
in valne. Spinach also contains n large
proportion Of iron.
A mayonnaise dressing with lettuce
is especially desirable for thin people,
but for the overplump French dress
ing IS to he recommended. The ac-
ton of vinegar on the digestive organs.
however. is not TO be considered. The
acid Of lemon juice is preferable.
While apples are most excellent
fruit for brain building, which phos-
phorus aids in. the humble pumpkin,
desecrated TO the uses of piesa pd Jack
o lanterns. holds The prize. Pumpkin
rates 2.T9 in phosphorus. while apple
Is but 40.
: When i'm search for this special ele-
ment take up Il pumpkin diet. But as
winter squash would stand the same
analysis ii can be used as Il vegetable
ilG.many varieties and thus the needed
phosphorus supplied. Cucumbers rank
neat in phosphorus value To pumpkin.
being 2.OS.-Negetarian Magazine
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
The Dead in India.

Three distinct methods Of disposing
OF the dead are in vogue in India.
While the Mohammedans inter the
dead. the HindOos prefer 10 throw the
bodies into the purifying waters Of the
Gauges. and even now there are CON
slant attractions Of the severe regula-
tons framed 20 suppress this danger
Gus practice The form Of funeral
adopted by the Parsees is that Of sim
ply exposing their dead at a great alti-
tude 90 the scavenging services OF
crows and yultures.
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
1T DIDN'T CURE HIM.
Why One Man Has a Distinct Dislike
For ButtermiIk.


when 1 was youngster," said u
state official the other day. 81 was
poisoned by an ivy vine. My nose got
very red and swellcd up twice its
natural size. The infection spread to
my cheeks, and they were all covered
with blotches
81 was told to use buttermilk. /
bought n gallon and drank 1t. bought
another gallon the next day and got
outside of that. In fact, / drank so
much buttermilk that the price went
up about 10 cents n gallon In that
community within n very few days.
But the poisoning was not getting any
better. 1t was not improving one bit.
and couldn't understand It,
81 told the people who had recon-
mended the buttermilk that it was not
helping me- why, bet ! have swal-
lowed a barrel of buttermilk ylthia
the past week. / told them. %e.sg
"'You drank it.? they shouted back
at me.
"'Of course replied. What did you
expect me to do with it?'
"'Why, we meant for you to battle
your face with buttermilk, not drink
It, was the answer. <. IA
II pretty nearly collapsed To this
day 1 can't look buttermilk in the
face."-Kansas City Journal. 81 90
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
The Praetorian Guard.

The Praetorian guard was a select
body Of troops instituted by the En-
peror Augustus to protect his person
and consisted of ten cohorts. each of
1000 men. chosen from Italy. They
had peculiar privileges and when they
had served sixteen years were retired
on pension of about $500 Each
member Of the guard had the rank OF
a captain in the regular army. Like
the bodyguard Of Louis XIV. they
were all gentlemen and formed grad
ually a great power. like the janizaries
at Constantinople. and frequently de-
posed or elevated the very emperors
themselves
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
a Romantic Career.

The romantic career of a very re-
markatle man, John Gully, who sec
onded Crib I'm his battle with Moli-
neaux, Is thus summed up in the
Dictionary Of National Biography"
"Prizehghter, horse racer. legislator
aud colliery proprietor" Gully fought
his first fight just before Trafalgar
He fought his last and retired from
the prize ring in blaze of triumph
seven years before Waterloo. Gully
rose 7. be a rich man and member of
parliament. He won the Derby three
times and was the owner Of q large
and prosperous colliery. He died in
1863, the father Of twenty-four chill
dren.
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
sPEARlNe THE CACTUS.
Customs of tho Natives Of the Mexl
can State of Sjnalos


Sinaloa Is n long state. comparable
almost with Chile. as 1t lies along the
west coast of Mexico, just as Chile
lies along the Pacific shore Of South
America.
Like most new countries, the most
interesting part of this fertile state IL
Its inhabitants, possibly because tho
country Is so fertile Game Is abun,
dant and easily caught and the fruit of
the great pithaya cactus is ripe almost
from season to season. Every native.
whether mounted or afoot-and most
natives ride-carries slender stick
ten feet long. sharpened atasfY end
and the point hardened with fire.
One supposes these sticks TO be- rath-
er primitive lances until oncsseAs the
Indian spear cactus fruit fcbm n
branch seven or eight feet abode his
head. These pithayas contaiII31nany
seeds and n little blood red pup. all
OF which, except the spines. is food for
the Indian.
All day long these Indian nasa--s.ass-
der through the jungle. wall ofcgreen
broken only here and there by tie old
trails Of half wild cattle. gatherings -
cactus fruit. 1t would seem,VtlIHt - e
would be dried or at least tax ef5st tie
brush jacal. which represents homclto
the Indian. But. no; he sits down and
eats what he gathers Immediately. If
his wife wants any of the fruit she
COOS and gets it herself. She also
gathers the food for the babies.-For-
est and Stream.
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
A LIGHT ATMOSPHERE.
Why Smoke Beats Down" When it
Leaves a Chimney.

Leaves n Chimney.
ITS getting ready for Il storm. See
how the smoke beats down just as
soon as It comes out OF the chimney?
That's because the air is so heavy 1t
pushes the smoke down before 1t has
time to rise"
One often hears this stated as fact
concerning that most generally talked
of subject on earth, the weather. The
speaker was probably right under
those conditions i'm prophesying
storm, but he was scarcely right in
assigning as n reason that "the air is
so heavy 1t pushes the smoke down"
Nearly everybody knows 1t Is easier
10 swim in salt water than i'm fresh
water. AS salt water is heavier than
fresh water 1t Is evident that the heav-
Ter the liquid the greater the buoyant
force.
The atmosphere exerts buoyant
force upon the smoke from chimncys
in exactly the same way that water
exerts buoyant force upon n swim
mer. Therefore when the smoke beats
down" as soon as 1t leaves n chimney
It must be concluded that the buoyant
force exerted upon it Is relatively
small and that the air Is not heavy.
but light. .v
A light atmosphere, or, rather, Il
sudden lessening of the pressure of
the atmosphere generally. takes place
before n storm. Therefore the smoke
from chimneys, IL observed intelligent
ly. furnishes pretty good weather
indicator.-Chicago Record Herald
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
Inertia of the Nerves.

The researches and experiments of n
Frepch ,scifntist si9ye led him to the
conclusion that the cerebral nervous
system is incapable Of percelving more
than an average OF ten separate i'm
pressioRs per second. After each ex-
citation of the nerves n period Of In
ertia follows. lasting about one-tenth
of a second. and during this period a
new impression cannot be made. Ac-
cording TO the Investigations of this
scientist person cannot make more
than ten or at the most dozen sep
arate voluntary movements of any
kind in second. although the muscles,
independently Of the will. are capable
OF making as many as thirty or forty.
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
Why iie Smiled. ..

Magistrate TO prisonef)-Ebu are
charged with having beaten y6er wife.
Prisoner (smiling,-Qulte rlshl your
worship. The charge is correck
Magistrate-Then what are y9n smll-
ng at? ~
Prisoner-I may we'll sHAfe We
fave been married five years. and I'm
all the fights we've had this is the first
time she hasn't been able TO give me q
Jolly good hiding. Have cigar, Jud@3
London Scraps
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
Compensation.

Il felt so sorry when / heard your
house was burned down, Mrs. Jones'"
sail Mrs. Hawkins.
1T was too bad" said Mrs. Jones.
but IL had its bright side. John and
j were both afraid TO discharge our
cccE. but now that the house is gone
OF course we don't have to."-Harper's
Weekly.
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
NkkSvN6lt1|kSMRlal
MAY IS, 1910.

MAY IS, 1910.
Leave Bluefield 1920 a IN. for .soa-
noke. Norfolk and all points OF Shen-
n:oSh dtyision. Gilman 6leep@i
Roanoke TO New yssk, via Hagers-
town. Pullman Parlc~ Car Roanoke
@ NorfUl>
s:6S :. I'm. for Roanoke. Rich-
nond. Norfolk. Pullman sleeper.
Roanoke tn Norfolk.
2::20 p. m. for Roanoke. Lynch
,urw and Intermediate stations and
he Shenandoah Valley. Ph!ladelpha
md New York. Sleeper to rhtiade'-
phaa Cafe car Gary and Shena-
doah.
s:Is D. m. ecr Roanoke, lynch
.ury, Richmond. Norfolk. Pullman
sleeper to n, -foiK. Rranoks 70
Rfchmopd
LeSvs Piuefisid s:ze D. n. for Ken
va, Colum bus and All points West
nd Northwest. Pullman Sleeper for
Columbus aI1 Cincinnati. Cafe cars.
$40 .. m. Pullman Sleeper for
,oiumbus. Cafe Dining Car.
Leave 1885 a. m. and 2:06 p. m.
lsi;y for IaxewsIi. Norton and al
stations on Clirch Valley, division.
Arrfva f-nm Norton and points on
the Slinch Valley division at 11.3u q.
m. and 7:20 p. m.
Leave 6:15 a. m. for WEIGH and
nterm, i,ate stations.
Leave 1926 a. m. for William
on a1d intermediate stations.
Leave 1:1b D. m. for Wslch and
intermediate stations.
For additional i1for1nation call on
agent Norfolk and Western Railway.
". B.. BEvh,
Gen. Pass, Agent,
RoAAoke. Va
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04

Our plant is equipped with all the
modern machinery for fine Job Print.
Iing;G we employ the best workmen
Ithat money can procure; we make
special effort to please; then, too. the
price is always right. Send us your
next order. or call Phone 166 and we
.will send our representative to see
you. Poland Printing Company.
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
REINFORCED
CONCRETE WO Ia
SIDEWALKS, FLOORS, WALLS re.
LARS, ETC. WORK oUARAN1 Ezt,
w. e. McARTOR.
100 Greenbrier St. Phone S3fJ
+ BLUEFIELD. w. VA.

Kidney trouble is particularly to be
dreaded because it's presence Is not
usually discovered until II has assum
ed one OF Its worst forms diabetes
dropsy. or Bright's disease. IL you
suspect that your kidneys are affect
led. by all means use HOLSTERS Rocky
Mountain Tea-the great systemic
cleanser and regulator. For sale by
'The White Pharmacy.
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
Limitation is the srncerest fis

B Limitation is the srncerest nat
terry" HOLSTERS Rocky Mountain
Tea has many imitators. but there ia
nothing "just as good" as thousands
% fmen and women have learned with.
In the past thirty years. Never sold
in bulk or by the pound. BE sure you
get the genuine. For sale by The
White Pharmacy.
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
sianifieent Aefivities.

THAT young fellow seems TO have
made n bit &C your home"
Yes; ] Judge lie has. Mas lnvesti-
eating bis family tree, and pas look.
ing up bis commercial staDdineE-
Washington Herald
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
SuppIYina a Want.

Shabby Individual TO painter up lad
dcT)--lTl. you're dropping your paint
al over me.
Paintcr-Well, you're badly I'm need
Of coat or some sort.-London Tit
Bits
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
Strictly Accurate

Lawyer-So you say the defendant
pushed you against your wiz wit.
ness-No. sir; said he pushed me
against the door. Baltimore American
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
Housekssnsr,n BEACON.

what is your chief objection TO
moving picturosT
"Thc dust that has accumulated be-
lind them. Birmingham Age,Boroldl
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
Proerastinata.

Teacher-What is the meaning OF the
word "procrasunateT" Pupil-To put
of. Teacher-Right Illustrate 1t In a
sentence. Pupil tried 20 steal n ride
on a street car yesterday, but I was
procrastinated Toledo Blade
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
A Natural Cause.

"Do you notice that most dog stories
are funny onesT'
"why not? A dog story ought natu.
rally 20 be something Of n wapgish
tale."-New York Journal.
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
Not Fussu.

The Missus-No; ] tell you I object
20 giving money at the door,
The Tramp-Wei, Marin perhaps
you'll hand IL out Of the window. I'm
not pertikler. Ladies' Home Journal
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
a Better Position.

"Why dld Dollarby sell his hotelY'
HE wasn't making money fast
enough"
what is be doing nowY'
Hes luxuriating in the position OF
head waiter."-Pearson's Weekly.
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
Didn't Mad IL

Music Teacher Why. don't you pause
there? Don't you sec that it's marked
'rcstT Pupil-Ycs, teacher. but I
aren't tired. Life.
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
She Hadnn.

Patron TO busy waitress You
haven't any siDecure. have your
WaItrcss-Sorry, SIR. but we just serv.
ed the last order.--BostOn Transcript.
4~-1.- = ---alsS 49, - - ya q,
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04
That Rov Aoa;n

Mrs. Boardem-I ordered lamb and
you sent me mutton.
Butcher-It was lamb when 81 left
here. mum.-Judge's Library.
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04

BE patient God has all eternity In
when to make plain the hidden things
Z your life.
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-08-04

Good reasons must, Of course, give
place 70 better, -Shakespeare.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-01
FRIGHTENING BRASS

Brass, now popular in our homes
both as metal trimmings and as COM
plete articles. like jardinieres, tea-ket-
ties and similar pieces, is beautiful
used in any guise, if it is kept bright
and neat.
If the tea-kettle becomes stained,
dissolve some whitening in lemon
juice and apply with a soft piece of
old flannel, after which give the usual
bath of cleansing, soapy water.
When a tray becomes cloudy-look-
ing, it may have it's brightness re-
stored with salt and vinegar. Drop
the salt upon the tray, moisten with a
little vinegar, and scour with the paste
thus formed.
If brass candlesticks are kept on the
mantel over the fireplace, they will be-
come discolored from the gases that
are sent out by coal, wood or gas; but
they can be frightened by rubbing
them with a piece of soft leather. An
old suede bag, a torn kid glove, or
worn-out leather pillow are just the
things to keep on hand for this work,
as they make fine material for polish
ing brasses.
When embossed brass or pierced
brass requires cleaning, the work can
be effectively done by using soapsuds
to which a little ammonia has been
added. Apply with a brush, which
will cleanse every part of the design,
rinse with warm water, and polish
with bit of old leather.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-01


The chewing gum girl lives from hand
to mouth.
The night key is not usually the key
to success.
Even the wise men are occasionally
otherwise.
A mortgage on the house will not
prevent the roof from leaking.
There are some men so lazy that
they will not even file their liens.
1t isn't worth while to call in veteri-
marian for a bad case of eggs.
The business of a promoter Is to per-
suade your money into his pocket.
A little vanity keeps a man keyed up
to his best, while too much renders
him obnoxious to his fellows.
There is many a stump speaker who
would much better be at home pulling
the stumps from his own clearing.
Bob--I see Smith in town; what mo-
tive brought him? Bub-I don't know
for sure, but 1 think it was loco
motive.
Some of the real farmers complain
that the average city agriculturist
doesn't know a corn on the hand from
corn in the ear.
The man who sets out in life's race
expecting to have a walkover is likely
to be run over before he has proceeded
far upon his way.
The simple word "hash" covers
multitude of things we know nothing
about and assures us that when igno-
rance is bliss tits folly to be wise.
The owl sat mute in the hollow tree;
Through the long day not sound made
he.
Why, then, is wisdom ascribed to this
bird?
It is because he speaks never a word.
The moral is plain, as all may see:
If we would esteemed for wisdom be,
And be most renowned of men among,
We must early learn to hold the tongue.
Little Johnny watching a hen cack-
ling furiously, said: 81 know what is
the motter with that chicken. She
dropped an egg around here some
where and has forgotten where she laid
it."-Farm Journal.