Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1910-03-18
GOOD SHORT
STORIES


The teacher had been telling the
elass about the rhinoceros family.
Now, name some things said she,
that are very dangerous to get near
to, and that have horns" "Automo-
biles!" replied little Jennie Jones,
promptly.
Two ladies, previously unacquainted,
were conversing at a reception. After
. few conventional remarks tho
younger exclaimed: II cannot think
what has upset that tall blonde man
over there. He was SO attentive q lit.
tie while ago, but he won't look at
me now" Perhaps" said tho other,
he saw me come in. He's my hus
band!"
John Smith had worked for the cor.
poration for forty-odd years, and de-
eided to quit. The company. in con-
alteration Of his long and faithful serv-
Ice, arranged to give him a monetary
recognition. The superintendent Of the
works, a German and IN extra good
mechanic. was asked to present 1t. He
VA advised to use a little sentiment
In making the presentation speech. and
this Is the way he did 1t: John, you
hAn work for the company over forty
years." "Yes." You are going to
Quit?" Yes" Well! They are SO
glad Of 1t they asked me to hand you
this hundred dollars"
A religious worker was visiting a
Southern penitentlary. when n pris-
onsr in some way took his fancy. This
prisoner was a negro, who evinced a
religious fervor as deep As 1t was graf
flying to tho caller. "Of what were
you accused!" the prisoner was asked.
"Dey says l took a watch" answered
tho negro. Il made a good night. l
had a dandy lawyer, an he done prove
an alibi wifi ten witnesses. Den my
lawyer he shore made q strong speech
to de jury. But 1t want no use. sar;
I gets ten years" Il don't see why
you we're not acquitted" said the re-
ligious worker. We'll. sah." explained
the prisoner, "dere was shore n weak
spot bout my defense-dey found de
watch in my pocket"
Lord Charles Beresford is devoid OF
any suspicion of side or nonsense.
At the close of one OF Lord Charles
meetings at York, at tho time he was
wooing that constituency. q solemn and
sedate old clergyman who had been
seated on the platform came up to the
candidate and said, with much grav
fty: ALLOW me, Lord Charles, the
pleasure Of shaking hands with you
I had the honor of being confirmed
many years ago, by your respected un'
Gle. the primate of all Ireland" Lord
Charles instantly shouted In stentorian
tones to his brother, who was zeal
the door at the other end Of the hall:
"Btll! Bill! Here's . parson who says
hs vas confirmed by old Uncle John:
come up here and have . talk with
him!"
When the bishop Of Truro. DR.. Colt
was dean Of Worcester. his absent
mindedness was 50 notorious h q HI
earned for himself the sobriQuet o
Dean Forgot" On one occasion h
had Invited some friends to dine witt
him: on their arrival q short time be
fore the dinner hour he suggested tina
in the interval of waiting his friends
would perhaps like to walk through
the grounds. After spending about I
quarter OF an hour in admiring thu
flowers, shrubs and greenhouses, they
suddenly came upon a door In the gar
den waii. "Ah!" said the dean to hi
astonished guests. this will be q mucf
nearer way for you to 60 homo thar
by going back to the front" And. al
unconscious Of his invitation. he open
II the door and bowed them out.