Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1910-11-09
platform NUM0R
Unexpected Diversions That
Were Not on the Bills.
BILL NYE'S TACTFUL QUERY.
IL Saved an Embarrassing Situation
and Turned Painful Silence Into q
Burst of Laughter-A Simple Notice
That Made an Audience Roar.

burSt OF Iau9ntcf-N Simple NcNtco
That Made an Audience Roar.
The funniest humor Is the uNlnten-
tional kind The best comedy is that
which has never been rehearsed or
premeditated. but springs 10 life in
close straits when everything Of sue
cess for the platform performer de-
ponds on his holding the spot light Of
his audiences sttentiOn through cru
cial strain caused by unexpected III
version.
Some OF the involuntary humor OF
the platform Is worth remembering
and repeating. For instance:
Once upon time a lecturer reached
his date at 7:3O. He had to set his sup
per. shave and dress between then and
the usual scheduled starting time.
SIS. Accordingly he dressed with moro
haste than he had intended. and two
top buttons OF his trousers failed to
receive proper attention. This showed
plainly In the glare OF the footliChts.
and 4 bit OF his dress shirt protruded
noticcebly. The audience had hard
time being courteous and reconcillnC
the Righteousness Of the speakers ap-
pcarance with the serious dignity and
beauty OF his lecture. still. all would
have been well but for the fact that at
the close OF the address and while the
speaker still sat on the platform in his
unconscious diShabiue the platform
manager rose and announced impress
sively:
The next number on this splendid
course viii be given two weeks from
tonight by Or Robert Mcintyre. who
viii deliver his celebrated lecture
'Buttoned Up People -
The audience shrieked. and 10 this
day. through the tender hearted for
bearance Of those people. that lecturer
does not know why the announcement
Of his confrere's beautiful word pic
ture lecture created just that kind oc
enthusiasm.
At one time Or. Thomas L. Green
was submitted 10 the long introduction
agony. He stood II as patiently as
possible. and so did the audience. but
when the introducer ceased and bowed
out the paid speaker OF the evening
DR.. Green walked forward and said in
his most ministerial tone
I am going 10 add n phrase 10 the
itany. making It read as follows:
From our tr0ducers and our intro
ducers good Lord deliver u.s."
Sometimes n town committee IS can
tankerous and takes on a degree OF
choiciness never dreamed Of or aspir-
Ell TO by 4 city committee. At one
time Elias Day. makeup artist, was
behind tSe scenes laying out his wigs,
boards. etc. when a committeeman
came back 10 see him. After the
usual greetings the committeeman
said.
i hope TO goodness you're better'n
tn last number on our course wasr
Who was IT, asked Mr. Day.
"Dr. Russell Conwel Of Philadelfy."
Didn't you like himy' asked Day in
a daze
Rotten said the committeeman.
"Who came before that?"
Leland I. Powers Of Boston"
We'll. you liked him, Of course"
''Turrible rotten-'
And what did you have before
that?" asked Day. now prepared for
anything.
"Schumann-Heink ard her compa-
ny"
Did you hear herr
EVERYBODY a-kickin'. Said she was
/ pOorer'n home talent"
well" said Day, the settledness OF
despair in his tone you'll like me-"
/ But perhaps the best instance Of per.
feet adaptation on the spur Of the mo-
/ ment is found IN an anecdOte Bob Bur
/ dette vOuched for as having been the
! experience of his illustrious contem
/ porary. Bill Nye
Nye and Burbank were being starred
that year by Major Pond. They wer,
doing the Canadian provinces and OF
the night OF the special episode wer,
at Victoria. British Columbia. Bur
/ bank was doing heavy dramatic worl
as the best possible foil for Nye''
subtle and side racking humor. Blu
in the audience were several men wht
had that evening tasted too frequent,
Of the flowing bowl. These would oc
casionally break forth with remcrh
! N4AstN Mt4t Albut4H u unAllltlltSS
Finally. when Burbank was In til,
midst Of his most fascinating and trag
&c reading and the audience was hold
ing its breath, one whose breath wa
too strong TO be held burst out int,
a maudlin snatch OF song which utter
ly sidetracked and discouraged the lee
turer. The speaker stopped. lost an,
! confused bevond recall
But just as the silence was begin
ming TO be felt Nye stepped blandl,
AID quickly from behind the scenes
laid his hand on his companions arm
and gazed thoughtfully over the house
Then, in a mild but distinct voice, h
asked:
"Is DR.. Leslie f. Kelley in tn
room?"
Even the fact that st was a nea
British audience could not hide IN
consummate wit of the remark. an
the evening was saved and made
triumph instead Of ignominous defea
for the speakers.-Strickland W. CT
lilan in st. Louis Republic
What is celebrity? The advanter
Of being known to people who do
know vOu.--Chamfort.
its Destination.