Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-04-29


dinner speaker"
''Star He's a regular moon. The
fuller he gets the brighter he becomes"
After he had kissed her and pressed
her rosy cheek against his, and patted
her soft, round chin, she drew back and
asked:
George, do you shave yourself?"
yes" he replied.
Il thought So" she said. 'Your face
is the toughest | ever"
Then she stopped, but it was too late.
and he Went away with cold, heavy
lump in his breast.
Said nervous lady to an Austin lady.
at whose home she was making a call:
"Are you not afraid that some of your
children will fall into that cistern in
your yard? "Oh. no." was the COM
placent reply; anyhow, that's not the
cistern we get our drinking water FROM"
NO man can serve two masters" said
the priest to one Of his parishiOners.
Il know that, yer reverence. Me broth
er tried it, and now he's doing time for
bigamy."
Darling" he breathed rapturously, 81
swear by this great tree, whose spread
ing branches bear witness to my SINGER
ity-I swear that [ have never loved be-
FORE"
Tie girl smiled family and observed:
"YOu always say such appropriate
things, George. This is a chestnut tree"
1--WE Just thought Of a brand-new
phiIanthrophy," said Mr.. Dustin Stax.
what is it?"
I'm going to found a home for ex-
billionaires who impoverished themselves
by donations"
An orator with long whiskers was elo-
quently making a free silver speech.
Gents" he said, "Our country's welfare
demands that silver be kept at its face
value. Ii the government marks dollar
dollar it follows that it must be worth
100 cents"
excuse me-may ask simple cues
tom" spoke up man In the rear Of the
hall
certainly, sir" said the orator.
Then" said the man, coming forward.
IF the government marked your Whis-
kers hay would mule eat them?"
The wife Of literary man Of the Tn
diana school, who had taken up chicken
raising as a side issue, was telling of the
poor success she had with a brood of
eleven chickens. They seemed to be do
ing all right for few days, she said
and then. one after another, they all died
In the coop.
"What did you feed them?" asked the
wife Of farmer neighbOr.
"Feed them?" exclaimed the authors
helpmate. 81 didn't feed them; [ thought
healthy young puIlet like that should
have milk enough for her chicks
Recently lady witness in a court I'D
the state was subjected to a troublesome
tire OF cross questions, and the lawyer,
thinking that some apology was neces-
sary, tried to square himself.
Il really hope, madam" said he, ''that
don't annoy you with all these cues
tiOns."
ooh, no." was the prompt reply; am
accustomed to it,
1"YOu don't mean it?" wOnderingly re-
turned the lawyer.
Eyes" rejoined the lady, 81 have a six
year-Old boy at home.
o.
Flushed with triumph and 90 degrees
in the shade, parched and scant of breath,
they stood upon the towering mountain
peak, and surveyed the gorgeous panor-
anna that spread itself beneath them like
a tWO-inch to the mile ordnance map Of
the whole world.
''There!" she exclaimed, angrily. eve
have climbed all this distance to admire
the beauties of nature, and we've left the
glass at homer
TRANQUILITY smiling, he shifted the
lunch basket TO the other arm.
Never mind, DEAR" he replied.
There's nobody about. 1t won't hurt
us just this once to drink out Of the
bottle"