The San Francisco call., 1910-04-10

Now if Senator Neumann had been aware of his
job he would have appeared in silk tights. like an
ambassador, and, bearing in his hand a black wand
would have retired backward down the center aisle,
bowling at each step and excIaiming
Make way for the king"
Imagine Henry T. Gage dressed in tights and
backing away from the king of Portugal wondering
at every step if his sword would get between his
legs and floor him.
PATHETIC FIGURE
Liuokalani lags superfuous ON the stage. an alb
surd but pathetic figure. As the Cleveland Plain
Dealer puts it:
In the exodus of monarchs from the western
hemisphere Queen Lii" the guard.
She fingered, but had to go. Even the vast
isolation of her beloved country could not
her, and it from crowding civilization. She
forced to give way progress without
pretending what it all meant without appre-
ciating that she and nineteenth century ideas
incompatible. Even had she been the
progressive of queens instead of using her brief
authority to undermine her peoples hard earned
constitution, yet she have surrendered.
Civilization brooks interference.
Nevertheless, in the homely wisdom of Mr. lack
Johnson addressing a recent public meeting in Chi
cago it is better to be has been than never was
So from the mouths of prize fighters do we learn
statecraft
THE LADY OR THE TIGER
Miss Margaret Angn, we'll graced actress, de
cines to compete for popular favor with 'the ag-
gregation of talent" in which Mr.. Johnson and Mr.
Jeffres will the leading roles on July A. al
though, in fact. Billy Jordan will have the only
speaking part Perhaps the lady is wise. 1t is the
ancient and eternal conflict between the Redbloods
and the Molycoddles, with the Mollycoddes as
usual getting the of it all down the line 1t is
version of the lady or the tiger
TRY THEM ON THE SQUIRRELS
The Livermore Herald informs me:
The government crusade against the squirrels
in the hills of Contra Costa and Alameda counties
has not only not resulted in the determination of
the rodents, but in districts has resulted in
actual increase in numbers. This is due the
fact that many farmers waited for poison dstribu-
tions that never made and some of the
poison that distributed effective.
1t might help if Uncle Jimmy Wilson would send
the farmers copies OF the government cook book and
let them try the recipes on the squirrels.
WHEN AN EGG IS OF AGE
The arithmetic of the state board of health is con-
fusing. California egg ceases to be fresh at the
age OF IA days, but an eastern egg is still fresh at the
age of p days. when it is nearly old enough to vote
Perhaps the definition of the Pasadena News is
more satisfactory:
How long is egg fresh:7 asks exchange.
An egg is fresh just as long it remains silent
and incapable of voluntary movement.
The Watsonville Register conjectures:
Balnger to be in hard row of stumps,
and Taft has flown to his assistance, ordered Coun-
sci procured and has taken pains consult with
the attorney for the defense. The question now
is, Who pays the freight? Attorneys do not serve
clients for nothing, when the client is the
government
No, Mr.. Taft does not fly.
STANTON'S BOAST
Phil Stanton is making all sorts OF trouble for the
old guard. The Los Angeles Times prints this in
the way OF editorial congratuation: