davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-05-14
DEFECTIVE fLQE

4 defective flue caused . small
blaze at the home of Martin Meyers.
LIS North Ninth street last evening,
about o'clock. The vent pipe In the
set the SCOT Attire. An alarm was turn
ed in from box No. Z and the depart
ments quickly responded. The flame
was extinguished by the use of chemi-
calls and the damage was very small.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-05-14
Appearances Deceitful.

She had all the earmarks Of a green
stenographer, and it therefore occurred
to the fresh young clerk that here
was one whom he could guy to his
hearts content. After luncheon hour
when all the men were in the Office,
seemed the best time to show what a
wag he was.
Tipping them that he was going to
have some fun. he went up to her and
said, "Oh, Miss T., l heard the funni'
est story today" and he proceeded to
get of a time honored patriarch of q
joke.
When he had finished she looked al
him guilelessly and said, 'Oh, Mr.. X.
If you ever hear the mate to that will
you tell me?"
1.-THE mate?" said he. rather Devil
dered.
"Well. you know" said she, "Noat
took a pair of all things into the ark
with him. and now that know one OF
the jokes really l would love to know
the other. "-Lippincott's.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-05-14

pledge. A British king has no choice
but to be constitutional monarch and
to uphold constitutional government,
for he exists by the grace of constitu-
tional government and has no divine
rights. His powers and prerogatives
are held at the pleasure of parliament.
which can add to them or subtract
compel him to sign his own death war
rant IL it chooses. His oath of office
Is prescribed by parliament, and it
is parliament that decides whether or
not he has fulfilled the letter and spir-
it of this oath. The King of Great
Britain is far more at the mercy OF
parliament than is the President at
the mercy of Congress.
Loss OF Life Through CareIessness.
From the Philadelphia Inquirer.
Each year there are deaths and in.
juries due to carelessness exceeding
those OF any year in the late bloody
civil war. 1t is estimated that almost
half million deaths and injuries
take place each year in the ordinary
course of business which are due eth.
er to the carelessness of some EN-.
ploye or the worse than carelessness
of the employer. Human life is less
safeguarded in this country than in
any other in the civilized world. 1t
Is a terrible indictment. and unfortu.
nately, it is undeniable.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-05-14
It Never Comes Again.

There are gains for all our losses,
There are balms for all our pains,
But when youth, the dream. departs
It takes something from our hearts.
And it never comes again.
We are stronger and are better
Under manhood's sterner reign.
Still we feel that something sweet
Followed youth with flying feet
And will never come again.
Something beautiful Is vanished,
And we sigh for 1t in vain.
We behold it everywhere,
On the earth and in the air.
But 1t never comes again.
Richard H. Stoddard.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-05-14
TWINKLES
eY PHILANDER JOHNSON,
A Considerable Host,

"You have sold everything except
one COW and one pig?"
Yep" replied Farmer Corntossel.
why didn't you let them go with
the rest?"
We'll, We thought we ought to have
some sort of q menagerie to keep the
summer boarders Interested"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-05-14
MY DOCTOR
MIGHTY fine
Mrs. Hattie Cain Of Carrsvi!le
Thinks all the More Of Her
Doctor Since lie Advised
Her to Take Cardui.

Carrsville, Ky.-"My DOCTOR" writes
Mrs. Hattie Cain, ''who advised me to
take Cardui, for my troubles, is a mighty
fine doctor, and say God bless Cardui
and the people who make it.
Before took Cardri, suffered with
female troubles for sixteen years.
would have to send for a doctor every
three month, and OIL how dreadfutly l
suffered
81 would cramp and have Commissions
and 1t looked like would die. At last
took Cardui and ohl what a surprised
found it was the medicine for mel
"From the first bottle, began to mend
and now am well, can do more work,
can walk and go where | please and il
don't hurt me, and owe it all to Cardui. -
Cardui helps sick women back to
health. It has been doing this for over
SO years. II is not laxative, or heart
or kidney medicine-it is q woman's
medicine.
If you are woman, try it.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-05-14
Hard to Please.

Did BlisSins enjoy himself ut tho
banquetg
evening at the possibility of being
called on for speech aud when it
WAS over resented the fact that he
was overlooked."-Wa Star.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-05-14
Caiculatinq.

Mr.. Nippen always wants the most
possible for his money
Yes. He invariably selects cloudy
day to go to baseball game in the
hope of seeing several innings and
then getting rain check
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-05-14
Didn't startie Her.

A certain prominent New York bust
ness man Is known a. q ''high roller
"A chandelier fell In the night at his
house." explained one OF his friends.
land IN the morning at breakfast he
said to his wife. with 4 laugh:
What did you think. my love, when
you heard the chandelier fall In the
dead silence Of the night?
: 7 thought. darling. his wife m
svered.. that ycu had. been detained
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-05-14
A Proper Name.

You have christened your baby
'Halley's Comet"
Yes. It's unusual but appropriate.
He's bright spot In one existence
that gets us up at all sorts of unearth-
~ hours"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-05-14
MASONIC CALENDAR.

Tuesday. May 17.-Richmond lodge
No 1876 F. & A. NJ. Work in Fellow
Craft degree.
Wednesday. May 1S.-Webb lodge,
No. "a r. & a. NJ. Stated meeting.
Saturday. May 21.-Loyal Chapter
No. 40 Q. Z. S. Stated meeting.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-05-14
A Conversational Peril.

Our old friend chandeliers in vogue.
Must We take lessons from the rogue
And, to the neighbors' lasting woe,
Instead of talking learn to crow?
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-05-14
A Constitutional King.

From tho New York World.
When George v. after he was pro-
claimed king announced that he would
ondeavor to uphold the constitutional
government Of these realms" he was
.eoUowing form rather than making .
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-05-14
on business again and was ge.inLs up
stairs as quietly as you could"
An Easy Winner.

M Easy VstUu9Is
George Ham of the Canadian Pacific
railroad Is the greatest Canadian mix
err. He usually entertains all the visit
ing English journalists and statesmen
who come to look over Canada.
Once a party OF dignided English
Journalists came over, and Ham met
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-05-14
THE SCRAP BOOK

poet ana a scot.
"'Bah" said the Scot. bearing that
the poet had press agent. Bah. you
Americans are possessed with an itch
for notoriety"
1.-THE poet tossed back his long locks
dercely.
WELL he cried. AN itch for no
toriety is better than a notoriety for
But with a Tut. tut. gentlemen "
said the actor. Il ended this unseemly
wrangle ere 1t went too far"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-05-14

Worse Yet.
why is it nobody likes Tom:"
"Oh, he's one of these 1 told you So
fellows"
How about Bill?'
Hes worse yet. He's one Of the I
could have told you if I'd wanted to-
variety."-Exchange.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-05-14
Almost Too Far,

Very good repartee-very good-bus
perhaps little strong.
The speaker was prominent actor.
He resumed:
1t reminds me Of . dialogue 1t the
lambs club between ! New England
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-05-14

What do YOU think of that anti
OSCILLATION society formed by Ohio
ladies?'
1t won't survive the firss election
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-05-14

possession of the National gallery at
the present time, and the process OF
final selection. preparatory to the Off
cial opening of the new wing. Will
therefore be a considerable task
Even at its present dimensions the
Tate gallery is only about half the size
which it is hoped it may ultimately at,
tain. and consequently the new wing
has been made to follow the architect
ural features of the original buildings
so that when the structure is complete
it will present uniformity of design.
The Turner wing has taken nearly two
years to build.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-05-14

of new Officers" replied Miss Cay
enne. 1.-The constitution will forbid
kissing and making up"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-05-14
Fatal in Coynhinafjon

Fatal in Combination.
From the Portland Express.
A rowboat in itself is harmless: SO
frequently. is fool. But the comb.
nation is decidedly dangerous.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-05-14
What the Sandwich Was For.

WHAT the S1h0Wtch was fof.
4 stately old professor was ap-
preached by young student one day
in the western colleges. Trying hard
to keep back smile. the young man
asked:
Professor. you say you are an ex-
pert at solving riddles, don't your
II claim that l am. my boy"
well. then. can you tell me why a
man who has seen London on q foggy
day and a man who has not seen Lon
don on foggy day are like a ham
sandwich
The professor studied for a long
time. venturing several answers. which
proved to be wrong. Finally, at his
wits end, be said:
Il give 1t up"
ats easy" said the other.
Give it up" repeated the professor
why" was the reply. lone has seen
the mist. and the other has missed the
scene. Ha. ha. Catch on?''
''Of course ! do. you lunatic: Blu.
what has the sandwich to do with it =
After the youngster had recovered
from a spell Of laughter he chuckIed:
'.Oh. that's what you bite on"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-05-14

Exprest
O Heosm
BY PHILIP EVERETT.

Especial Cable from the International
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-05-14
According to Formula.


Judge Pennypacker was once asked
by his brother Harry during session
Of court for the loan Of IS. Harry
walked to the desk and whispered the
request in the judges ear. The latter.
looking down over the top of bis
glasses without the suggestion of q
smile. said loud enough to be heard
throughout the room:
Put your application in writing and
present it to the court in a proper man
ner."
Mr.. Pennypacker. thinking the
judges insistence upon regularity to
be merely regard for the dignity Of the
court, wrote out the request and hand.
ed it to the clerk OF the court. who In
turn passed it to the bench The
judge read it quietly and seriously and
then interrupted the pending trial long
enough to say:
Application for a loan Of s. made to
this court is received and refused"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-05-14

Well, Senator Aldrich has, if Teddy hasn't.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-05-14

Entered at Richmond. Indiana, post
office a. second class mail matter.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-09-01
Children Crv
FOR FLETCHER'S
G a s . RIA

In order that the Baltimore
and Ohio locomotive engineers
may maintain a uniform rate
speed and operate their trains
with the greatest possible COM
tort to the travelling public,
the road is installing speed re-
corders in all passenger engines
used on through trains. The
dial of these speed recorders is
placed in the engineers side of
the cab, in plain view of the
man who operates the throttle,
and, upon arrival at terminals,
the chart is sent to the division
superintendent so that he has
before him a daily record of
the speed at which trains are
operated in his territory.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-09-01
Children Crv
FOR FLETCHER'S
Q a 3 r Q RIA

Jep Thompson. who has just
returned from his old hime in
Denmark, where he left some
% years ago for America. On
his visit to the home, he visited
several other nationalities, and
found many changes, and thinks
that a fine country-to move
from. Being an Odd Fellow he
visited several lodges of the Or
der in the old country, and was
kindly received by all. He sur
prised his many friends here by
returning alone, when many
expecting him to bring a wife
back with him. He says he re-
ceived a shower of Postal Cards
from the boys Of No. 40, which
made him feel happy. He had
The Times follow him. and he
says he read every word in eve
ry paper received. and was al
ways glad when they arrived.
F. M. scorthorn is in Council
Bluffs today.
Mrs. Olinger, of Soldier Val
ley, and Mrs. j. F. Coulthard,
of Cincinnati township, were
the guests of friends in the
Valley yesterday.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-09-01
Congress appropriated fo

Congress appropriated for
the American navy for the ifs
cal year 1911 a total sum of
$13l, 350,854, which is SIS, $780,
600 less than was voted last
year. The bill provides for two
first-class battleships, whose
cost, exclusive of armor and
armament, is not to exceed for
each vessel six million dollars.
Provision is also made for six
torpedo boat destroyers costing
$3.50, 900 each; two 14-knot col
liers, each to carry l2500 tom
of coal, exclusive of bunk I
coal, and to cost 81, 100000, ano
four submarines to cost each
$500, 900 There is also an APP
preparation of $445, 900 for the
construction of a torpedo yes
sci of an experimental character
The Homestead gives the fol
lowing August creed for the
farmer: 81 believe in stack
ing, in the pointed tops group.
ed in every grove and barnyard
| believe in the manure spread
er. | believe in farmers pic
MICS and chautauqua and fishing
trips, in getting away for a day
now and then after the sum-
mer seasons work is over. |
believe in the fall pastures of
rape in the stubble fields when
the blue grass takes its sum-
mer rest.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-09-01

The l. G. depot at Dunlap
vas plundered Sunday night,
and a box of silverware belong
ing to Reed & Cole that had
beengunloaded there by mistake
was among the things broken
into. OF the silverware three
dozen spoons, a dozen each of
knives and forks and a number
of berry spoons were taken.
The silverware was high grade
stuff, and it looks as though
they took just such articles as
might be needed for their own
use, otherwise the thieves
would not have been so parti-
cular about choosing The less
of course will be to the rail-
r o d company oodbine
Twiner.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-09-01
Free Year Book on Business
Training.

The 1910 Gear Book of Boyles College,
which has schools located both in Omaha
and Council Bluffs contains most ab-
sorbng'y interesting description of the
Business. Stenosraphy, Tclegraphy and
Civil Service Courses given at Boyles
College.
The Council Blutrs wing of Boyles Col
legc is u:iicr the same management, en-
actly, us the Omaha wing. Two colleges
are maintained for convenience. and stu
dents are permitted to deci,io for Them
selves whether Hey prefer TO live in
Council Bluffs orDmaha while attending
school. in either Case the results. so far
Us training is concerned, are the same.
THE FALL TERN OPENS MON
DAY. SEPTEMBER 9Th.
Positions are secured for all competent
students when their courses are complete
cd Students are also provided places IL
work for ,!,.ir board while attending col
le@c if they desire suci: positions.
Any reader III his paper may secure
COPY of the Year Book by writing Mr.. III
j. Boyles, President, Boyles Iowa College
e.arriam Block, Council Bluffs, Iowa, oil
Boyles College, Boyes Building, Omaha
Nebraska
The country. roads are in fine
condition for an auto, much bet
ter than our streets.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-09-01
He Came and is Gone!

Ex-Presinent Theodore Roo
sevelt reached our depot at lilo
p. m. and met about 1000 PEG
pie, men women, and children,
to whom he spoke Tor ABOUT ten
minutes, but just what he said,
we do not know.
We have now seen the follow
ing Presidents and Ex-Presi-
dents:
General Andrew Jackson.
Martin VanBuren.
Gen. w. HI. Harrison.
James K. Polk.
Abraham Lincoln, before his
election to the Presidency.
Grover Cleveland, and now
Theodore Roosevelt.
And like the boy of olden
time who had heard much talk
about George Washington. was
anxious to see him, and accom-
panied his father to the city,
and on seeing Cen. Warrington
and looking him over, said to
his father: "Why father, he is
nothing but a mani"
So we can say of Roosevelt;
He's but a man, a good one it is
true, but yet but a man.
D. M. n.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-09-01
HOT RUN ON A PIANO
Locomotive Engineer Give
His Impressions OF a
Great Recital by a
Frenchman

81 was lettering around the
streets last night" said jim
Nelson, one of the old locomo
tive engineers running into
New Orleans, as reported ir
Life.
Gas | had nothing to do
dropped into a concert and
heard a sleek-looking French.
man play a piano in a way that
made me feel all over in spots.
AS soon as he sat down on the
stool knew by the way he
handled himself that he under.
stood the machine he was run
ming. He tapped the keys
away up one end, just as if
they were gauges and he want
led to see if he had water
enough. Then he looked up
as if he wanted to know how
much steam he was carrying,
and the next moment he pulled
open the throttle and sailed on
to the main line as if he was
half an hour late. You could
hear her thunder over culverts
and bridges and getting faster
and faster, until the fellow
rocked about in his seat like a
cradle.
Somehow | thought it was
old $50 pulling a passenger
train and getting ol- of the
way of q Special The fellow
worked thu kegs on the middle
division like lightning, and
then he flew along the north
end of the line until the drivers
went around like a buzz saw
and | got excited.
"About this time | was fixing
to tell him to cut her off a little
he kicked the hampers under
the machine wide oper, pulled
the throttle way back in the
tender, and how he did run!
couldn't stand it any longer,
and yelled to him that he was
pounding in the left side, End
if he wasn't careful he'd dror
his ashpan. But he didn't
hear. No one heard me.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-09-01
What Is insurgency?
(Judson G. Welliver.)

'1t must be kept very clearly
in mind that the new insurgen-
cy-the insurgency that has ia
ken on its present form and
force since Roosevelt left the
country-is not partisan. It can
not be partisan, because there
is no party that fits it. Just
now it is looked upon too COM
monty as a revolt of Republican
ism against their party's lead
ership. But if you will go back
to the people you will find that
it is as much Democratic as Re-
publican. Texas, torn by Bail
ey's and anti Bailey factionism;
Florida with Broward and Tall
iferro for control; Tennessee,
with party lines destroyed in
the contest for and against the
Patterson machine these all
tell the story of the same inspi-
ration and purpose that have
produced Cummins and Dolli-
var in Iowa, Bristow in Kansas,
Foss, in Massachusetts,, LaFoll-
cite, in Wisconsin, and Beveri-
dege in Indiana.
mo, insurgency is not a party
affair. 1t a national arouseal
of conscience. 1t is the world
old fight of the Many for an
even chance with the few. 1t
is a contest Of classes as truly as
was the fight for Magma Charta;
a contest of the unprivileged
against the privileged. 1t pro-
YES that the world moves.
Insurgency recognizes that
political feudalism has been sue
coed by industrial feudalism. 1t
would arouse the people to real
ize this and to remedy it. 1t is
optimistic enough to believe
that if the people of King Johns
day could win freedom, those of
the twentieth century can do
as much.
eve will understand the real
significance of the new move.
ment when we realize that all
these insurgents, by whatever
name thav call themselves to-
dav arr fighting for the same
end: The overthrow of money
control of our affairs"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-09-01
This Old Method of Dump
ing Manure Heaps Makes
the Pay Dirt on Your Farm
Run In Pockets and Streaks.
This is photograph of short-sighted.
ness. Heaps of manure dumped here
are soon demoralized.

Later when the
manure is scattered
with a fork there is no
strength in it.
This same manure
spread fresh over the
ground by an |. H. C.
Manure Spreader-
which may be driven
by a boy-would be
scattered evenly over
the entire field. cover
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-09-01

ing twice the area in
half the time, and COW.
erlng it in a scientific,
ally correct way.
Itwould mean aneve
crop, ten to twenty per.
cent more profitable.
The extra profit in one
crop-probably in one
field would pay for the
spreader. A dealer
everywhere.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-09-01

According to statistics quoted
in engineering, there are in the
whole world 100000 telephon-
es, and the lines have an aggre-
gate length of about 12,500,000
miles.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-09-01


Ex=President Roosevelt.
Ex-President Roosevelt pas
sed through here this afternoon
enroute to Cheyenne, Wyo.,
where he is scheduled to m AXE
two addresses during Frontier
Day in that city. The ten
minute stop in this city was
shortened to three minutes or
at least it seemed shortened
perhaps we were so interested
it only seemed short.
Nh. Roosevelt said, he always
regarded the State Of Iowa as
one of the hest states in the
Union, not only on it's agricult-
ural merits but because it had
a fine class of paople and there
for fine children i'm other words
Iowa has more children than
"hrindle pups" This is the
first opportunity we have had
to see Mr.. Roosevelt but true
to his picture, his teeth and
Ispectacles are his prominent
features. About one thousand
people were at the station to
greet him and though the
crowd wasn't as large as in
the cities, we will wager he
won't be received any more
cordially. Most of the stores
of this city closed and all the
shop men were given time off
during his stay in this city.
w. M. Carlisle and family
drove to Omaha today in their
automobile.
c. A. Puddy, of Superior,
Nebr., is in this city for a few
days on business.
That the "Old Settlers
picnic is becoming more and
more popular was shown yes
terday at Magnolia by the
crowd in attendance. The
largest and best behaved crowd
in the history of this day were
there yesterday, especially, the
old settlers. Several good
speeches by men of our own
state and singing by various
choirs made the afternoons en-
tertainment very enjoyabla.
Dancing, merry o.rounds and
various other games furnished
amusement for the younger
folks. This is the one great
day for Harrison County Pho
neers as it is a place to con-
gregate and review the days
when farm houses were far and
few. Long live this day and
each succeeding year we hope
it will increase in nopnlaritu