The Tupelo journal., 1910-11-11
PLATFORM HUM0R
Unexpected Diversions That
Were Not on the Bills.
Bill NYE's TAcTFUL QUERY.

Burst Of Laushtsr-A Simple Notice
That Made an Audience Roar.
The funniest humor is the uninten-
|tional kind. The best comedy Is that
which has never been rehearsed or
|premeditated. but springs to life In
close straits when everything Of sue
cess for the platform performer de-
'pends on his holding the spot light OF
his audiences attention through a cru
Icial strain caused by unexpected d.
version.
Some Of the involuntary humor OF
THE platform is worth remembering
and repeating. For instance:
Once upon a time a lecturer reached
his date at 7:30. He had to get his sup
tper, shave and dress between then and
the usual scheduled starting time.
S:15. Accordingly he dressed with more
haste than he had intended, and two
top buttons Of his trousers failed to
receive proper attention. This showed
Iplainly in the glare Of the footlights,
and a bit of his dress shirt protruded
%noticeably. The audience had a hard
thine being courteous and reeoncilinS
the righteousness Of the speakers ap-
|pearance with the serious dignity and
beauty Of his lecture. Still, all would
have been well but for the fact that at
the close Of the address and while the
speaker still sat on the platform in lis
unconscious dishabille the platform
manager rose and announced impress
Isively:
1.-The next number on this splendid
course will be given two weeks from
tonight by DR.. Robert Mcintyre, who
will deliver his celebrated lecture
'Buttoned Up People,"
The audience shrieked, and to this
day, through the tender hearted for
lbearance of those people, that lecturer
does not know why the announcement
of his confrere's beautiful word pic
Iture lecture created just that kind Of
enthusiasm.
/ At one time DR.. Thomas e. Green
was submitted to the long introduction
agony. He stood 1t as patiently as
possible, and so did the audience, but
when the introducer ceased and bowed
out the pail speaker of the evening
DR.. Green walked forward and said In
his most ministerial tone
II am going to add a phrase to the
litany, making It read as follows:
From our traducerS and our intro
ducers good Lord deliver us!"
Sometimes a town committee Is cam
tankerous and takes on a degree Of
choiciness never dreamed Of OF aspir-
ed to by a city committee. At one
time Elias Day, a makeup artist, was
behind the scenes laying out his wigs.
boards, etc. when a committeeman
came back to see him. After the
usual greetings the committeeman
said:
X hope to goodness you're better'n
the last number on our course was!"
.'Who was it," asked Mr.. Day.
"Dr. Russell ConwelI Of PhiIadelfy.s
didn't you like him?" asked Day in
q daze.
"Rotten!" said the committeeman.
"Who came before that?"
LELAND T. Powers Of Boston"
well, you liked him, of course"
"Turrible rotten!"
"And what did you have bore
lthat?" asked Day. nov prepared for
anything.
"Schumann-Heink and her compa-
ny"
Did you hear her?'
Everybody a-kickin'. Said she was
lpoorer'n home talent"
"Well," said Day. the settledness Of
despair in his tone. you'll like me"
| But perhaps the best instance of per-
feet adaptation on the spur Of the mo-
imcnt Is found in an anecdote Bob Bur-
dctte vouched for as having been the
Of his tllustrious contem.
Bill Nye.
Nye and Burbank were being starred
that year by Major Pond. They were
doing the Canadian provinces and on
the night of the special episode were
at Victoria. British Columbia. Bur-
bank was doing heavy dramatic work
rs the best possible foil for Nye's
and side racking humor. But
in the audience were several men who
had that evening tasted too frequently
OF the flowing bowl. These would oc-
break forth with remarks
TINT were models OF untimeliness. !
Finally. when Burbank was In the /
midst OF his most fascinating and trag- l
tc reading and the audience was hold
ing its breath. one whose breath was
too strong to be held burst out into
q maudfin snatch Of song which utter
~ ~sidetracked and discouraged the lee
turer. The speaker stopped. lost and
confused beyond recall.
But Just as the silence was begin
ming to be felt Nye stepped blandly
ara quickly from behind the scenes,
laid his hand on his companions arm
and gazed thoughtfully over the house.
Then, In a mild but distinct voice, he
asked:
III Dr.. Leslie e. Keeley In the
recmf'
Even the fact that it was q near
audience could not hide the
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