Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-08-03
GOING TO A
WEDDING

the bookkeeper.
The young woman stenographer
dropped her heavy suitcase. Having
assured herself that the manager had
not yet reached the office that morn
Ing, she turned upon the bookkeeper
severe countenance.
You are the most tactless man ]
know" she declared. Did you ever
hear of any one having a good time
at anybody's wedding?"
The bookkeeper shook his head.
That's the point of my subtle joke"
he said.
We'll. it sounded TO me like an or
binary foolish question. am a littlo
peevish. l think. for l am trying TO
count Up how much the wedding cost
me"
Il thought you liked to spend
money"
Il do, when l have some chance OF
getting a fair return for II. But what
pleasure do l get out OF this? Not
any"
First" went on the stenographer,
bitterly. II had to forfeit n days sal
airy for substitute stenographer;
then. in order to catch the six o'clock
train l had TO hire a taxicab. Next
had to say good-by TO six perfectly
good dollars for my railroad ticket
When l reached the town my thir-
! teen-year-old nephew pushed me into
n cab as If were n bag of meal Then
he disappeared bashfully into the dark
| ness, leaving me alone in the cab
with nice-looking young man who
! was going to the same place All the
romances folnded on the girl and the
! man meeting. on the way to the house
| party flashed through my mind and
began to think that perhaps the we'd
! ding wouldn't be such n bore. after
/ all"
i didn't know before that you were
so dependent on a mere man for your
happiness said the bookkeeper
You are always Dragging about the
good times at your club"
"A girls club is jolly affair in IT.
oelf," explained the stenographer, "but
church sociable or wedding needs
some foreign element--for example,
an interesting man-to make IL en-
durable"
And this particular Lnan?"
His name was Smith. His wife and
his small son were waiting for him at
the house"
Loves young dream blasted!" muir.
INJURED the bookkeeper.
II had one stroke OF tuck" said the
stenographer. THE house was so full
OF relatives that l had to go to a
neighbours TO sleep. / thought how
| lovely II was that | would not have to
get up at seven o'clock in order to get
to the office on time. They called me
at six o'clock
After breakfast helped make all
the beds and then ] sneaked off into
one corner of the library and began
TO read book. Unfortunately, my
brother-in-law saw me and my repose-
full attitude seemed to irritato him, for
he asked me to get up and dust pic
ture frame"
1T was selfish OF you to shirk-"
Young man, don't you know that
one of the greatest lessons in life is
to learn ones own responsibility and
let other peoples alone? The caterers
were there to cater; the decorate
were there TO decorate; the bride and
the bridesmaids were in the hands OF
the hairdresser / think It was nice
OF me not to go rushing around yelling
isn't there something ! can dor
Il got even with my brother-in-l law,
however. All Of his personal property
that was downstairs / carried up, and
anything found of his upstairs / took
downstairs. They will have to clean
house again before he finds his things.
"Of course we had a stand-up lunch
In the buffers pantry-and my slit
Will have to 20 to the cleaners.
Two hours later the wedding march
began Then the procession came I'm,
everybody counting four on each foot
and all wishing they were well out OF
the whole business. Then during the
ceremony there were some unostenta.
tious tears shed. The man who wrote
'Merrily the Wedding Bclls' certainly
had wonderful Imagination Next
came the refreshments and the
showering of rice.
We'll. this morning crawled out at
4:30 and caught the train back to
! Chicago"
But you had visit with your rela-
tives"
81 didn't Besides. the trip cost me
ten dollars. without counting the pres
I emit"
You could have gone e. a lot OF
matinees for that"
! The stenographer nodded Without
/ nDybody's being tired out or sick from
| overwork," she said. u know one
/ thing. II ever / get married III put a
I standing advertisement Of II in the
! newspaper That will do away with
! addressing and stamping invitations.
! Then we will walk over to the nearest
/ ministers"
"Hushi' warned the bookkeeper.