Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-02-25
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Young Woman ladoringlyp-Tt must
! be awfully nice to be wise and know
--oh-everything! College Student
1t is.
What did you say last night when
Jack asked you to marry him." Il
shook my head" Sideways or ND and
down.
She-How did YOU know | was go
ing to wear my hair curled this even
ing? He saw it in the papers this
morning.
First Fair Invalid-Which kind OF
doctor do you prefer-the allopathic
or the homeopathic? Second Fair In
valid prefer the sympathetic.
Bobbie Ito Professionalism you
know that you were a relative of ours?
Featherstone-S Since when? Mother
says you are our weak brother"
Boy-A man came in and said he
wanted to squeeze some money out of
you. Boss-What did you tell him?
I BOY said | was sorry YOU weren't
in.
Kitty, said her mother rebuking-
ly, you must sit still when you are
at the table" Il can't mamma" pro-
tested the little girl, I'm fidge-
! tartan"
"On what ground, madam, do you
desire a divorce from your husband?"
''Intolerable cruelty; he put the date
of my birth in the family Bible
Chicago News.
What a bad tOothache you've got"
mo; but I'm calling on the dentist for
the money he owes me. and this is the
only way l can get into his house" -
Fliegende Batter.
Women vote! Never, sir, with my
consent" why not?' What! And
have my wife losing thirty-dollar hats
to other women on the election!" =
Boston Transcript
Mrs. Newbride - Boohoo! Henry
threw a biscuit at me- One that
made myself, too. Mother-The mon
ster, He might have killed YOU
United Presbyterian.
How much does it cost to get mar
ried?" asked the eager youth. THAT
depends entirely on how long you
live" replied the sad-looking man.
Philadelphia Record.
Isn't your hat rather curious in
shape?" asked the uniformed man
Certainly" answered his wife. 1t has
to be- Any hat that wasn't curious in
shape would look queer"
The Girl (rather weary, at 1880 p
al don't know thing about base
ball. The Beau-Let me explain 1t to
you. The Girl-Very well, give me an
illustration of a home run.
Lottie-Is your young minister so
very, very fascinating? Hattie-Fas-
cinating! Why, lots of girls in our
church have married men they hated.
Just to get one kiss from the rector
after the ceremony.-Puck.
Chumpleigh-Well my dear, | had
nv life insured for $4,000 to-day Mrs
Chumpleigh-I'm glad you did, John.
Now you won't have to be so careful
about lodging street cars and auto
mobiles Chicago Daily News.
1.-THE American eagle" said the ora
tor knows no fear" Yes" replied
Mr.. Sirius Barker, the American eagle
Is mighty lucky. Any bird that isn't
good enough to eat has a right to con-
graduate itself these days. Washing
ton Star.
Phvsician-Have you any aches or
Mains this morning? Patient-Yes,
doctor. II hurts me to breathe; in fact,
the only trouble now seems to be with
nv breath. Physician-All right. III
give you something that VIII soon stop
that.-Boston Globe.
Aunt Spinsterly-I hope that your
opinions uphold the dignity OF our sex,
Mamie. and that you believe that every
woman should have vote? Mamie
I don't go quite so far as that auntle;
but | believe that every woman should
have a yoter!-Human Life.
Modern Girl-Father, | long to be III
dependent-to rely upon my own exer-
tions for support. What trade or pro-
fession would you recommend? Wise
Father-First class cooks made $4,000
q wear Modern girl don't like COOK
ine It's too feminine!-New York
Weekly.
DIR McCree-My dear Mrs. Goodman,
how could you bring out young child
on such a day as this, with such
strong east wind blowing? Mrs. Good
man-Ah, doctor, you will always have
vour little joke. How can child of
this age possible know what wind it
is?-Tit-Bits.
. sT hone you don't mind me asking"
said the young woman, diffidently,
"but should | call you professor or
doctor?" "Oh, call me anything you
like" was the great mans rejoiner,
"some people call me an old idiot"
Greatly" the lady murmured, with
,sweet Innocence, "but then they would
he neople who knew you Intimately
Lady-You say, professor, that to-
.bacco is an aid to thought and slim
nIant to the reasoning faculties; but
professor Greathead says tobacco is in
every way injurious. How do you ac-
count for that difference? The Pro-
fessor-Easily enough, madam. Pro-
.fessor Greathead does not smoke, and
h. sal