davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

$50 you wont take any cranberries."
mo, I think not. I see your cat is
asleep in the cranberries."
"That's all right, num-" replied the
grocer, 81 don't mind waking the cat
up.
A colored man died without medi-
cal attendance and the coroner went
to investigate.
"Did Samuel Williams live here?"
he asked the weeping woman who
opened the door.
Eyes, sir" she answered.
Il want to see the remains"
81 is de remains" she answered.
How awful 'twould be to live at the
pole,
With no back yard but anicyshoal,
And no front lawn but a big, deep
At the pole!
No where to get your breakfast roll,
Nowhere to buy load of coal,
Nowhere to go for pleasant stroll
At the pole.
When a maiden has lover who is
surely making good who is winning
admiration who is shy of sinful habits
and whose bosom holds no guile, and
who labors in the vineyard with gay
and cheerful smile; she shouldn't
spring a lecture when he comes
around to court, for a man is only
human and his wings are pretty
short; and she wouldn't make him
promise that he'll be an angel boy
when the wedding ceremony ushers
in life of joy.
A travelling man who stammers
spent all the afternoon trying to sell
a bill of goods but without success
AS the salesman was packing up his
grip the merchant remarked:
you must find that impediment in
your speech quite inconyenient ct
/ times ~
"Oh. n-no," replied the salesman
Everyone has his peeuliari.ies.
S-stammering is mine. What's yours"
"I'm not aware that I have one
replied the merchant.
DIDO you stir your coffee with
l r;rr
man.
why, yes, of course" replied the
merchant a bit puzzled.
"W-well," went on the salesman,
"t-thats your p-peculiarity Most
people use a teaspoon
Mr.. Mcknight, young lawyer.
called upon Squire Gardner on legal
business. The squire was a poor
hand at remembering names and had
never heard of his visitor The young
lawyer proceeded to relate his busi.
ness and the squire listened for some
time without comment. Presently
he felt called upon to make reply.
Hold on, Mr.. Cipher he began.
My name is McNaught," the law
yer corrected him.
Excuse me, excuse me- apollo
gized the squire, and finished his re-
marks
1t was not long until the squire
again found it necessary to speak.
well, now, Mr.. McGers," he be-
gan.
Il said my name was McNaught.''
the lawyer interrupted, sharpley.
Again the squire apologized and the
lawyer concluded his consultation,
and said goodbye with fair degree
of politeness.
Goodbye Mr.. Nothing" the
squire answered as the visitor de-
parted.
On the eve of battle an Irish SOL
dier went to his Captains tent.
Captain" he said, II have letter
from my wife. She and the six little
ones are very sick and need me. Will
you please give me two weeks fur
lough?"
NO" said the Captain. 1. too, re-
ceived letter from your wife this
. morning. She is not sick nor are the
children. She says that you are
; coward. and knowing there is going
to be fight, you want to get out If
it."
Captain" retorted Pat, may I say
: something to you and will you prom
Use me l will not be courtmartialed?
) Yes said his Captain.
: II know am an awful liar, but you
). have me beat mile. am not mar
ried man"
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

Mr.. Lafe Simpson of Audubon, was
a business caller in our city SaturdaT.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

Grandma Phipps who has been
visiting at the home of her grand
daughter Mrs. Walter Hockenberry,
left last Thursday for Atlantic
ITO visit with her daughter Mrs. VIM
Smith
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13
First National Bank

The Directors and Stock Holders
of the First National Bank of Extra
met Tuesday last and elected the
following officers;
1Soren Madsen, President
Oscar Hunt, Vice-President
"a. W. Harvey, Cashier.
Directors
| Soren Madsen, Oscar Hunt, Jas.
r.. Bruce, John I. Hensley, Ed.
Powell, Z. N Esbeck, D. E. Shrau-
ger, W c Tibbens, A. w. Harvey.
They also declared a Semi-An-
nual dividend of 5 per cent and
placed l% per cent in individual
profits account. This home insti-
tuition, made up of some of best
and most honorable people that
can be found in any community is
certainly safe depository for un.
Iueed moneys, or surplus funds.
Hhe management of this home in
stitution is in safe hands.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13
Twenty per cent reduction on
mems aud boys overcoats.
E. d. Cotton.

A splendid sermon was delivered
Sunday, both morning and evening
at the NJ. e. Church by Rev. Shelton
of Atlantic.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

From Our EXCHANGES )
(~~~~~>~(
In Japan sewing on buttons is not q
wifely duty. They have no buttons.
What are we here for, you and I,
AS the long and wonderful days go by.
"When was Louisiana ceded?" asked
the teacher.
I dunno. 1 suppose after spring
plowin'."
Though money talks 'tis safe to bet,
What ere it has to say,
1t never has been known as yet,
To give itself away.
The Japanese "hello" at the tele-
phone is ''moshi, moshi," or "Aus
ne," pronounced may" with the ac-
cent on the last syllable.
did your husband get that red
nose working out in the sunshine?"
"Oh, no." answered the wife, "tha.
amt sunshine, that's moonshine."
Do you wish the world were happy?
Then remember day by day,
Just to scatter seeds of kindness,
AS you pass along the way.
For the pleasures of the many
May be often traced to one.
AS the hand Nhat plants the acorn
Shelters armies from the sun.
The deacon went to sleep in church
and snored in quiet manner for
awhile, but suddenly startled the wor.
shippers by letting out sound like a
trombone solo. His wife at this juno
ture gave him stab with her elbow
and partially aroused him.
Get up and build the fire YOURSELF"
he remarked as he again lost himself
in sleep.
Little Tommy had just returned
from his first day at school.
What did you learn" asked his
aunt.
Didn't learn anything"
well, what did you do?"
Didn't do anything" said Tommy,
There was woman there who
wanted to know how to spell cat
and l told her.
King corn looks down from his golden
throne
And showers with blessings our Iowa
home;
The most glorious sight on a summec
morn
Is the billowy fields of waving corn
What untold wealth in Iowa's soil,
What fruit to the magic touch of toll
So let corn to the breeze his banners
fling;
God bless our home where corn is
king.
what is an angel mother?" asked
| little Dick.
why, it a beautiful lady with
wings, who flies. But why do you
ask?"
Because 1 heard father call my
governess an angel" replied the dittle
boy.
Oh said the mother, well, dear,
you watch her and you will see her
fly tomorrow
If only the back yard fence could
speak,
What gossipy stories things 'twould
tell;
We'd hear of the men who are mild
and meek,
And the men who rant and yell.
We'd know the why and the where
fore, too,
Of everything our neighbors do;
What regulations were safe today,
If the fence could tell what the
gossips say.
A farmer visited the museum at
the City Park in Denver. He stopped
in front of portrait which showed a
man sitting in a high-backed chair
A small white card on the picture
read:
"a portrait of e. H. Smith, by him
self"
The farmer read the card and turn
ing to his neighbor said:
,1or 81
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

w. T. Hopley, the undertaken, moy
ed Friday, into the house recently va
Gated by Will Turner's. We are glad
to welcome them to our city.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

Six hundred sacks of Gold Medal
Flour. In and 10 sack lots at $1.5O
each. This sale is on for 10 days on
ly.
E. D. Cotton.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

Miss Mildred Hall is staying at the
j. w. Alsup home and attending
school
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

Frank Williams was business Wis
itor in Audubon between trains Sat
urday.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

Twenty per cent reduction on
mems and boys overcoats.
E. D. Cotton.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

Ed Delahoyde, wife and con John
departed Sunday for Chicago.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

Prof. w. G. Lancelot and wife, who
have been visiting his parents, Mr.
and Mrs. Lancelot, and sister, Mrs. Q.
C. Wilson, left Friday morning for
their home at Scranton, Iowa.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

Six hundred sacks of Gold Medal
Flour. In and 10 sack lots at Sl.5O
each. This sale is on for 10 days on-
ly.
Il n f,otto,
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

Miss Dora Gill went to Hamlin last
Thursday for short visit with rela
tives.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

Dave Dutler aud wife of Laport
City is here visiting with his sister,
Mrs. Engle.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13
$l.OO PER YEAR

A naughty young warrior Sioux,
An Indian maiden did wioux;
With manner quite grand
He asked for her hand,
But softly she murmured "skiddioux." "
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

Cooks records which were found
to be rather loose by the Copenhagen
scientists will now be examined BY
the same body that examined Peary's.
Now let Peary have his examined i'll
Copenhagen and all will be satisfied
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

The hypnotist down at Des Moines
who was arrested for forging a check
on one of the banks will probably be
given chance.t to try his powers on a
jury
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

Mr.. and Mrs. Engle visited ovsr
sunday with her father: Mr.. Dutler
Of Audubon Twp. who is in very
poor health.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

Mics Kitten Barhan has been
quite sick the past week.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

The coal question has become quite
a serious proposition all over the
State. Our city was affected by the
famine last Thursday, when there was
not any coal in town.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13
EXTRA, IOWA, THURSDAY, JANUARY 49, 1910

Mrs. Charlie May returned from
Des Moines last Tuesday.
Charlie Jacobson left Thursday OF
the noon train for California.
Mr.. Lafe Simpson of Audubon, was
! business caller in our city SaturdaJ.
Miss Dora Gill went to Hamlin last
Thursday for a short visit with rela
tives.
Frank Williams was business Wis
itor in Audubon between trains Sat
urday.
Miss Mildred Hall is staying at the
j. w. Alsup home and attending
school
r. e. Gillespie & Co., of Audubon.
have rented the H. P. Hansen hall and
opened up skating rink.
Mr.. and Mrs. Charlie Parm were
made quite happy New Years Day by
the arrival of sweet little baby
girl at their home.
w. T. Hopley, the undertaken, moy-
ed Friday, into the house recently va
Gated by Will Turner's. We are glad
to welcome them to our city.
The hypnotist down at Des Moines
who was arrested for forging a check
on one of the banks will probably be
given chance. to try his powers on a
jury.
Mrs. Earnest Powell and daughters,
Mary and Clara, left last Thursday
evening for Des Moines where they
went to attend the funeral of Mr..
Powell's father
The coal question has become quite
a serious proposition all over the
State. Our city was affected by the
famine last Thursday, when there was
not any coal in town.
Prof. w. G. Lancelot and wife, who
have been visiting his parents, Mr.,
and Mrs. Lancelot, and sister, Mrs o.
c. Wilson, left Friday morning for
their home at Scranton, Iowa.
Cooks records which were found
to be rather loose by the Copenhagen
scientists will now be examined BY
the same body that examined Peary's.
Now let Peary have his examined in
and all will be satisfied
About ten of our pleasure seeking
young folks piled themselves into a
bobsled last Friday night and whirled
away over the snow-covered roads
for a merry good time. They wended
their way towards the little city Of
Brayton, where they whiled away a
few pleasant hours
The third number of the lecture
course, the Original Carolina Jubilee
Singers have come and gone, and on
account of the cold, severe weather
and bad roads the crowd was not as
lardge as it would have been had the
weather been fine, but those who were
in attendance pronounce it one of the
best entertainments it was ever their
privilege to attend, and every number
rendered showed them to be artists
of rare ability. The managers of
the lecture course are to be congrat-
ulated on securing such entertain
ments for the people. They will re-
turn again some time in Febru
airy and those who did not avail them
selves of the privilege to listen -
them this time should not miss the
treat which will be in store for them
in their future date.
There was dance given out at
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

r. e. Gillespie & Co., of Audubon.
have rented the H. P. Hansen hall and
opened up a skating rink.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

Mrs. Earnest Powell and daughters,
Mary and Clara, left last Thursday
evening for Des Moines where they
went to attend the funeral of M.
Powell's father.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

DR.. J. G. Newton. went to Atlantic
last Thursday to see his father who
3 seriously sick. He returned home
Sunday.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

Mrs. George Hardenbrook and
Mrs. Todd of Oklahoma are at pre-
lent visiting relatives at Audubon.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

j. c. Hardman went to Harlan La.
TO attend the shorthorn cattle sale
lof, Geo. II Miller.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

The Misses Ellowene Dimick and
Dena Hensley attended the dance
in Brayton Friday evening.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

Mrs. Nettie Jensen was
quite sick the latter part of last
week, but is improving now.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

Mr.. and Mrs. Fish of Bolliver, Mo.
arrived Monday evening for a visit
with her brother, Mrs. Noel Jobes.
Mrs. e. r. Scott and children of
near Extra who has been visiting
her parents at Sioux City returned
home Tuesday.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

Mrs. R. Y. Watterson and daught-
er Minerva left today for Atkinson
Neb. to visit with their daughter
and sister, Mrs. Rachael Rend-
ricks.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

Word reached here that Mrs.
Kate Anderson is again on the sick
hist at her home in Botna.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

About ten of our pleasure seeking
young folks piled themselves into a
bobsled last Friday night and whirlel
away over the snow-covered roads
for a merry good time. They wended
their way towards the little city of
Brayton, where they whiled away a
few pleasant hours.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

The Japanese "hello" at the tele-
phone is "moshi, moshi," or "Aus
ne," pronounced may" with the ac-
cent on the last syllable.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

Though money talks it's safe to bet,
What ere it has to say,
1t never has been known as yet,
To give itself away
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

Mrs. Maud Oldaker assisted in the
postoffice while Mr.. Powell was in
Des Moines, called there by the death
of his father.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

did your husband get that red
nose working out in the sunshine?"
"Oh, no" answered the wife, 'tha.
amt sunshine, that's moonshine."
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

when was Louisiana ceded?" asked
the teacher.
I dunno. suppose after spring
plowin'."
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13
) Sense and Nonsense F.;
) From Our Exchanges !

In Japan sewing on buttons is not a
wifely duty. They have no buttons.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

$50 you wont take any cranberries."
mo, think not. I see your cat is
asleep in the cranberries."
That's all right, num- replied the
grocer, 81 don't mind waking the cat
up."
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

What are we here for, you and 1,
AS the long and wonderful days go by
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

A farmer visited the museum at
the City Park in Denver. He stopped
in front of portrait which showed a
man sitting in a high-backed chair.
A small white card on the picture
read:
"a portrait of E. H. Smith, by him
self"
The farmer read the card and turn
ing to his neighbor said
Regular fools these city fellers
are. Anybody who looked at that pic
ture 'ud know Smiths by himself.
They amt no one with him."
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-13

Do you wish the world were happy?
Then remember day by day,
Just to scatter seeds of kindness,
AS you pass along the way.
For the pleasures of the many
May be often traced to one.
AS the hand What plants the acorn
Shelters armies from the sun.
The progressive farmer and southern farm gazette., 1910-10-15

The two great monthly current-events maya
zines the Worlds Work and the Review Of Re-
views cost SO each Both are published in New
York, as is also Current Literature, splendid
magazine whose nature is implied in its name. 1t
costs SO a year. The World To-Day, Chicago
1.5O is another good news review.
Among the weeklies worth mentioning are Col
lier's "the National weekly" $500; the Outlook
Mr. Roosevelts paper So the Independent, OF
high literary quality, but with scant knowledge Of
or sympathy for, the South SO, and the Literary
Digest general review, SO. All published in New
York.
Women's magazines include the Ladies' Home
Journal Philadelphia, standard OF excellence;
Womans Home Companion. New York. bright.
fresh well worth while; Good Housekeeping.
Springfield. Mass. more largely practical; Den-
Gator, New York, a fashion magazine with fine
literary features. All these are $3.50 a year.
The Youths Companion, Boston. weekly, si.75.
has made life happier for two or three genera
tons of young people and has never yet. we feel
sure made boy girl worse for reading It.
Two good monthly magazines for boys are the
American Boy, Detroit. Mich, and the Boys Mag
azne. Smethfeld, Pa. 81 each.
We publishing this list OF magazines with
out having said one word TO any OF them about It.
Just because we believe Southern farmers should
take such periodicals. We believe that II
they did there would be brighter homes. more
enthusiastic and ambitious boys and girls more
thoughtful and progressive men and women. and
a more cultured and satisfying rural life. Money
spent for any OF them will be we'll invested.
The progressive farmer and southern farm gazette., 1910-10-15
This Week and Next.

MR. FRENCH begins this week his letters on
NJ tile drainage and expect II to prove
A'A one of the most interesting series Of arti-
cles we have had for long time, The need of
underdrainage is so great. and the profits from II
so large. that the wonder is that II has been SO
long neglected by most farmers. with the new
interest in the subject. however. it viii be strange
TO us IL more work OF this kind Is not done In the
next three or four years than In all the past
Emphasizing what we said last week about CO.
operative marketing of farm products are Mr.. JEFF
fers account of what those Virginia and North
Carolina truckers have done and Professor JEFF
fries practical plan for getting better prices for
the eggs Marketing we'll as production must
be studied II one would get the most from his
farming. and we shall continue TO discuss market
ing problems In their various phases
Nothing In this Issue viii be read with more In
terest, we are sure. than the reports of the two
fairs and of the pg-feeding contest. Turn to page
four and read them: there are lessons In each re-
port for you
Mr.. Poe's letter this week has In 1t n warning
every southerner should heed. Mr. poe spoaks
PLAINLY but II Is because he feels deeply and sure
~ 10 such subject as this-one that lies M the
very foundation OF our civllIzatlon-none Of us
can afford To be Indifferent
"hat Professor Massey says about the growth
OF the greenhouse industry In the North shonld
also be needed The South Is pre-eminentlv The
pace Tor the growing OF winter fruits and flowers
'"' "oI btoN them mere ana send them North In
stead OF having Northern products sent Ia ma
me writer has seen winter-grown roses ehlpped
10 southern city from Chicago and sold for
double the price Of the homegrown roses stnnIv
because there were not enough OF the latter ~
supply the demand. There is waiting here n gre,t
opportunity for some one 90
Don't fail to read Mrs Stevens talk on flying ~,
the nome grounds; and in connection with u tho
directions on page three for cheap bathing out
- you haven't bathroom. try this plan; II
Is simple, convenient and effective
our $500 More a Year" article. on drainaea
was crowded out this week as was also our pro
sressNe Farmer Boys" department talk on
gaining the peanut crop. some timely notes on
cover crops and grain seeding. and an account of
.ne iice,srowlng Industry in Arkansas; but we ex-
pect to have them all next week.
The progressive farmer and southern farm gazette., 1910-10-15

as is the husband, and that it is just as important
for the farmer to be interested in making home
pleasant and attractive as in buying more land.
Such cases as this are, of course, the exception.
Most farmers are more thoughtful than this one;
but fear that, general rule, there is more
attention paid to making the farm work easy than
to tightening the labor of the housekeeper, and
we know that there are thousands and thousands
of women on our farms who have to work too
hard; whose duties-duties that do not cease to
call for attention because of delicate health or
distraught nerves-would tire out man, and
who, in all likelihood, feel, our correspondent
put it, "all tagged OUT at the end of almost every
day.
Brethren, these things ought not so to be-" We
farmers of the South need, as class, to pay much
more attention to the niceties and reinements of
life, to think of the little things-to us
which much to our wives and mothers
and sisters and, above all, to give thought
to the making lighter of the often-oppressive bur
dens of toll and responsibility they have to bear.
Most of will be surprised, when sit down
and think seriously the matter, at the many
ways in which we can do this, and while many
not do all, nearly all, that would wish.
there are few indeed who can not do much; and
begun, ways of making the household
work easier will be continually presenting them
selves.
Think it over by yourself Mr.. Farmer. then talk
it over with your wife Find out what she thinks
would help her most, and try to arrange for get
ting it. The very fact that you have thought OF
her in this way will help her wonderfully and the
spirit of co-operation-without which any home is
but half home-will not only make her house
keeping pleasanter, but will add to the profits OF
your farm work hundredfold beyond your ex-
Dectations.