Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-25

literature? Librarian-Cook books
ana PearyodieaIs.
Griggs-So Tom is married. Ell?
Briggs for the present. He's
married TO an actress Boston Tran
script
Did the-ah-prisonah offer any
ah-resistance?' Only shilling,
your wushup. and wouldn't take it
M. A. z.
Salesman-Shirt, sir. viii you have
a negligee or a stiff bosom? Customer
-Negligee, | guess. The doctor said
must avoid starchy things.
George-Do you think that I'm good
enough for you, darling? Darling
No, George; but you're too good for
any other girl.-Illustrated Bits.
She-ilistory repeats itself, you
know. He-Not always You never
heard of man clipping more than
once, did Yonkers Statesman
Have yoa broken yourself of the
habit of sleeping in church," Yes
entirely Congratulations! How
dfd you do it2" Quit going to church"
cleveland Leader
How much does 1t cost to get mar
ried?" asked the eager youth THAT
depends entirely on how long you
live" replied the sadlooking man.
Philadelphia Record
The railroads are discharging all
men with gray hair" Most of the
married men win be safe How
so?' The majority of them are
| bald ~ Houston Post
Am really aud truly your first
! and only love-" queried the dear girl
Mo- answered the truthful drug
| clerk, but You are something just as
good. Chicago Daily News
Why 1t is that novels are SO much
/ more popular with the women than
with the mem" In a novel the fell
low invariably asks the girl TO be his
wife Chicago Record-Herald.
Club Waiter (hshing1 dreamed
last night, sir. that you gave me a
fve-doilar bill stingy Member-ln-
deed. Jamesl That's little high for a
tip; but-er you may keep it,-Bos-
ton Transcript,
Talk about your realism this show
looks awful natural to me How
now?" Six months have elapsed
since the play started and the house
maid hasn't done any homework yet
| Louisville Courier-Journal.
Suburbs 1t is simply great to wake
up in the morning and hear the leaves
Whispering outside of your window.
Cltyman u Ii all right to hear the
leaves whisper, but / never could
stand hearing the grass mown.
Now, Willie.' said the teacher II
eggs were so cents dozen and your
| mother had 20 cents, how many eggs
would you have for breakfast?' NO
eggs" answered Willie. Wed have
mush Washington Cd c. Herald.
Tommy what did you think of the
play Julius Caesar last night? Billy
| Oh, It was fake why so?' " Cause
when they killed Julius Caesar and
the curtain went down he comes out
and bows to the audience He wasn't
| dead at all!
u must warn you. dearest he said,
that after we are married. YOU VIII
| very likely find me inclined to be ar
| bitrary and dctatorial In my man
ner" No matter" she replied cheer
| fully, u won't pay the slightest at
tention 10 what you say"
! Mistress thurrying franttcaIly)-
| Mary, what time is It now? Maid
! Half past two. mum Mistress Oh /
| thought Il was later still have tween
| ty minutes to catch the steamer. Maid
Yes. mum. ! knew ye'd be rushed,
so set the clock back thirty minutes
| TO give ye more time Puck
You simply cannot trust anybody"
| declares the lady My maid, whom |
| had tho utmost confidence in, left me
suddenly and took with her my beau
tiful pearl brooch" That Is too bad
sympathizes the friend. Which one
was it," THAT very pretty one
amuggled through last spring Life.
"PBhaw," exclaimed Miss Yerner.
fmpatiently I'm sure We will miss
the opening number. We've waited
good many minutes for that mother
OF mine" Hours. | should say" Mr..
sloman retorted rather GROSSLY Ours?
Oh, George" she cried and laid her
bushlng cheek upon his shirt front
Catholic Standard
Little boy" asks the well meaning
reformer. Is that your mamma over
yonder with the beautiful set of furs?"
Yes, sir answers the bright lad.
We'll. DO you know what poor ami
NAL it Ia that had to suffer in order
that your mamma might have the furs
with which she adorns herself so
proudly" Yes, sir-my papa
please help blind man. said
fellow with green goggles Il always
help the blind" said one OF two young
men, and he stopped and took out a
iive-dollar bin; can you get quarter
out Of this?' Il guess 80, said the