The Washington herald., 1910-01-02
Bic JOAK!
At First the Boys ThOTt It Was on
Bill Hepburn, but Later Bill
Thort It Was on ThGm.--It Was
RitiCkIus in the Extreme -.
PaTtiCkIeTs Give Below

There was a pecooliar thing happened
TO Bill Hepburn our artistick blacksmith,
last Saturday, which has been the talk
OF the town ever sinst and has resulted
IN painful injuries 10 several OF our most
respected citizens. At first the Joke was
thort 10 be on Bill, but later on It seems
as II the joke was on some Of EN- as
thort il was on Bill
True to his past custom, Bill left
Biugville for the Co. seat bright and
early last Saturday morning where he
purchased jug OF rum and after taking
a couple OF swigs from same Bill he
started home, much earlier than usual,
because il wasn't vet noon when he
drove into Bingville. singing at the top
Of his voice and hitched his horse in
front OF Hen Weathersby's store. Then
he went inside and ser down by the
stove to engage in ribald conversation
with them as was present Bill wasn't
what you might call stewed or picked
but he had Jest enough in 10 be sociable
and laxative. BY and by he got drowsy
and presently dropped of sound to sleep
in a chair by the stove.
As q rule Bill don't wear any glasses
except when he reads or when he gets
full That's a peculiar thing about Bill
whenever he gets drunk he ailus puts
on his glasses and keeps EN- on until
he gets sober again. less they get tore
of in some scrimmage or other. Some
has said that Bill can't see very we'll
when he is under the inflooence Of lick
er and that he wears the glasses to help
him see better Be that as il NAV. Bill,
as he set there sound asleep by the
stove in Hens store had on his glasses.
Hank Dewberry was present and as
Hank set there watching Bill and lis
tening to him snore, Hank, he thort
up a awful good joke to play on Bill,
so he got up and very keerfully took
off Bills glasses from his nose, then he
got some SCOT outen the stove and he
BACKED the glasses all up and put them
back on Bill again without Bill ever
waking up,
Hank then went and got Hen Wealth
ersby's lantern and lit II, then he walked
up to Bill and slapped him on the
shoulder Bill, he walked up and want
ed to know where he was at Hank
says. why Bill, you are in Hen
Weathersby'S store and Hen is going 10
close up, being as it's nearly bed time
and darker outside than a mess of black
cats"
Bill said he didn't know it was so late
and that he must put away his horse
and 90 home and get some supper and
then 90 to bed Hank asks Bill if he
has got any lantern and Bill says he
hasn't and Hank says. Here IS a IAN
term" and he hands Bill Hen Weathers-
by's lantern which Bill takes and
thanks him for and leaves the store.
Everybuddy in the store follers him
to the door and wishes him good night.
Then Bill with the lantern in one hand
takes the horse by the bride in tothcr
and leads it down Main Street to his
stable in the rear OF his blacksmith shop,
where he unhitches the horse and puts
it away Then Bill picks up the lantern
and starts on home
1t was ridicklus spectacle to see Bill
walking along the street with lighted
lantern at one o'clock in the afternoon,
when it was broad daylight, but being
as Bills glasses was BACKED over with
SCOT, he thought it was pitch dark until
he arrove at his own door and was FUN
bling around, trying to find the knob
when his wife opened the door and seen
him standing there with his glasses
BACKED and the lantern IN his hand. She