The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-18
HARRINGTON HAD : ID TINKER GAR Just Couldn't Keep From
 Monkeying With. It THOUGH WORKING WELL TowIe Tells About Men With the Per- verse Ideas-Had Confirmed Case
 Of rinIkeritis"-Alwnys
 Queered Car
THOUGH WORKING WE'LL

I fell in with Darlington again on the train the other day. Darlington. you know, owns a Hurriup runabout, and from the height of his four years ex- perience with successive models of that celebrated make, he surveys with much edihcation the prentice efforts of his friends to get along peaceably with similar machines. His last experience was with Snyder. who has had his little red Hurriup for about five months.
 "I got telephone call last Sum- day" said Darlington, "begging me to run over and see if I could help Shy der get his car started. Previous ad- ventures in helping Snyder out of his troubles had made me wary, so asked him where the machine was. It was Just down the hill. couple of yards from Snyder's house, the other side of town. So I got into my car and ran over. ! found that Snyder and dar- key, who had appeared out of nowhere to help him. had been taking turns at the crank for an hour or so. Snyder CT the darkey would whirl the crank to beat the band; the motor would spit once or twice, or would do nothing
  would give the vibrator screws twist The vibrators were working as well as could be expected under such treat ment, so after adjusting them prop erly I investigated the sparks at the plugs.
 Turned the Crank.
 After finding the sparks O. K. l turned the crank. I got four or five explosions and the engine stopped. Aft CT repeating, with like result, looked at the carbureter. The needle valve . was two full turns open, though @ half turn was more than enough, How un- der the canopy that man had ever per- suaded his engine to run at all with such dose beats me. I screwed the needle out and found it had been bent four ways from Sunday by my friends strenuous efforts with a screwdriver on some previous occasion. No wonder couldn't get the right mixturei Shy der promptly declared he could straighten the thing, and was off with it to the garage before could stop him. So I went upson the porch and chatted with the ladies. After a while Snyder came back, announcing that he had strengthened the needle, and asked me to put 1t in. I laughed at him.
 Mot on your life," said. I'll put tn a new one, if you like, but I won't
 
 busted thing"
 A "It is funny" I observed, "how hard \ 1t Is to teach amateurs the import x hnce of hundredth part of an inch in things like that"
 Indeed 1t is" responded Darlington { "As I was saying, I refuse to touch [ the thing further and the end of it was 4 that Snyder got 8 mob of boys togeth- CT and he and they and the darkey pushed the runabout to the garage while steereu"
 "A man like that makes more trou- ble for himself than the slickest chauf- feur could for him." I observed.
 Queers Good Machine
 Say" burst out Darlington, "it just beats creation how many ways Snyder can find of queering perfectly good N machine. I'll bet anything that by 10 o'clock this morning he will have eith- CT a cylinder or an axle or the radi- ator off his car, hunting for some fool thing that would have been all right if he had only let it alone. You ex- & pect to see amateurs meddle with the little things, like adjustments, but this 4 man is not satisfied with that. It Is \ only the big things that interest him. M For example, his high-tension system lt was leaking at the basket the other < day. I touched 1t somewhere, and it | knocked me about six feet. I told him he had better run new cables to his
 
 |f too trivial to interest him." M He must need education badly" said.
 N He has the worst case of tinkeritis ( ever saw" responded my friend "If his car was running beautifully, like i. sewing machine, with absolutely nothing the matter with 1t, he'd want Y to know why 1t was running so beau N tifully, so he'd take off the cylinders And when he got them on again he'd M mix the valves or do something else So the car wouldn't get out of its own Ia way.
 |% You know the front axles of those |acres are guided by wishbone of steel Well, lately Snyder thought 3that the connections from the wish I%bone to the front axle didn't look just Ftto suit him, so he took off the wish |&bone, plugged 1t with sand and put 1Ha neat bend in each leg close to the xfront axle The result is that the 'f knuckle pivots now rake backward like Y a bicycle fork reversed, and it is al- < most impossible to steer the car at all a II tries to slow off first to one side IN then to the other, in spite of anv < thing you can do."
 VA Not Natural Mechanic F "Is he really a mechanic who has M simply not learned to apply his bent M or is he just one of those who rush M in-you know the liner"
 fR "He isn't mechanic in any sense of N the word." replied Darlington. He has ~ certain amount of common sense, but # his ignorance of mechanics Is wonder