Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1910-09-13

tanning the attitude Of military carica
ture with steadiness perfectly statu
esque. The sergeant, little mar
with red mustache turned up a Il
kaiser, looked ut him for half minute
and uttered a mysterious exclamation
Craighead remained motionless. his
hand to his cap. The sergeant amaz
eddy returned the salute. Craighead
relaxed his tense muscles. dropped his
hand to his side and winked with the
utmost sobriety Of expression.
"Podner," said he, shave yeh got any
eatin' tobacker?"
"I'll trouble you gentlemen for your
passes" returned the sergeant.
Unfortunately" replied Mr.. Craig.
head. Eve omitted to obtain passes.
Say no more, Mr.. Sergeant. We are
all soldiers. This is Gennle Theodo'
Cahson. NJ. A., and this Mr. Waddy,
who served in his youth in the typhoid
uprising at Chickamauga in the Span
ish-American war. Show your button,
Mr.. Waddy. as an S. A. w. v. You
see. sergeant. that you are quite safe
against our capturing Fort Morgan"
Here's Captain Bolger now. Tell
him about it,
Captain Bolger was choleric gen.
tleman with whiskers like General
Sherman's. much thinned by the in
crease in the area of the face since the
establishment Of the foliage. He ad-
vanced rapidly. with hippety- hopping
gait, as If catching step with an imag-
mary companion very careless of the
march.
whats this, sergeant?' he sputter-
ed. This is quite irregular, sergeant
irregular. The parade ground! A
id thing with wings and v type
engines!. And no passes? Some one
will sweat for this. Highly irregu-
larr'
pardon me-" said Theodore. "My
name is Carson. l miscalculated my
speed. know Colonel Krimnitz. and
if''-
Colonel Krimnitz, SIR" said Captain
BOlger, lis temporarily on leave. am
the officer of the day, sir. You will
produce pass for your COMPOUNDED
aeronef or shall order YOU
81 feel sure" said Mr.. Carson, that
! Colonel Krimnitz"-
Colonel Krimnitz be hanged" re-
torted Captain Bolger. "You can't
come the Krimnitz game. sir. while he
is on leave. Sergeant"
Captain said the sergeant, salut-
ing
'See what that thing is in the fell
lows hand" pointing to Mr.. Waddy's
camera. Take it. and if it's bomb
explode it at sea. If it's camera
turn it over to me instantly and confine
these men. My compliments to Major
Fathers, and say to him that have
confined three men who ran the guard
in an airship. with bombs or cameras,
as the case may be; that ] have the
airship under guard and await his in
structions at headquarters"
And Captain Bolger hippety-hopped
to headquarters. followed by a soldier
with a camera The three interlopers
went into the guardhouse, while Cap
tain Bolger's message went to Major
Fathers, commandant in the absence
of Colonel Krimnitz.
II won't stand it!' Mr.. Waddy shout
ed. Il want to wire John FL. Gum!
want to wire Washington. l tell you
John II. Gum, speaker of the house!
He'll make somebody chew hay for
thisr'
Mr.. Craighead began humming "It's
Twenty Miles to vassar," evidently a
West Point ditty. paced the guard
house, turning corners with military
precision or stood accurately with GER
tain fingers on certain seams of his
trousers as precise as tin soldier.
The atmosphere had permeated his
system, and when corporaPs guard
called for them his stride might have
been offered as Il model.
Access to Major Fathers desk was
opened for them by orderlies described
by MIR. Waddy rs states prison look
ing fellows. armed to the teeth. The
major was thin. solemn, bilious look
ing, as if he had bad liver from serv-
Ice in the tropics; naughty, as If the
liver had overlowed his temper.
"Who are you:" said Major Fathers.
"Who are we?" cried Mr.. Waddy.
"NNho are we: American citizens. sir!
Citizens and taxpayers before you was
ever born. sir Wire John II. Gum
at Washington that Cyrus Waddy's
shut up in Jail. an you'll find out!
YOU'LL
ut would seem an economy of time.
Mr.. Waddy." said the major, after
quelling him with q yellow glover,
mot to trouble Mr.. Gum or the presi-
dent. who might find it inconvenient
to attend for purposes Of Identification.
What can you say, sir!"
This query was directed at Craig
head
".AIost high and illustrious one." said
he, 1.-THE world is wide, Its population
some sixteen hundred millions. Or
this considerable force we are but
three. You ask us, o serenity. to set
ourselves apart from the others by
brands and marks. How can the thing
be proved? 1t is hard saying, and
yet didst ever see that serrated nose?
Give me pen, and let me mark it
Exhibit Ar"
The major arose with pronounced
absence of haste. adjusted pair OF
rimless glasses to his precipitous beak
by clasp Of special construction, ex-
amined Craighead's nose critically and
.impersonally, as If looking at speci-