Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-07-28

before ! adopt it,"
would you prove woman's suffrage
before adopting it?"
This was quite bright of Aunt Abb
gail.
II admit" replied Uncle Robert
'that to prove it before adopting II
would be impossible. 1t isn't neces
sary to prove it. Any fool can see
that the idea is ridiculous"
Uncle" ! interrupted for the pur
pose of calling a truce and preventing
Aunt Abigail from firing return shot
"let me fill your glass"
mo, sir" putting his hand over it
mot at all. sir. drink just one glass
of wine with my dinner. And that's
enough for any man."
"Quite right" replied and filed my
own for the third time.
''One is too much for any man, espe-
cially an old man." snapped the aunt.
Nothing is SO disgusting TO me as an
old topper"
The shot, while It applied partly TO
me. was fired at Uncle Robert.
Not at ALL" he replied. "One glass
is good for the system. You know
what st. Paul says, Take little wine
for the Stomach's sake"
"Yes," retorted Aunt Abigail. land
know that the devil can quote Scrip
| ture."
This was so we'll turned that felt
like patting the old lady on the back.
But it did not Squelch Uncle Robert
for the simple reason that be was un-
squelchable The skirmishing went
on. getting hotter and hotter, till at
last. to prevent an open rupture, my
wife arose from the table. She. poor
woman. was dreading fracas. and
was not anxious to have a break occur
so early in the game.
AS soon as Fanny and | We're alone
together we sat down and laughed.
Did you ever see anything work
more beautifullyy' / said, slapping my
leg.
Never
Let them go their own gait. My
opinion is that one or the other will
get out within a week"
Every day my uncle came to me and
said that he couldn't live in the same
house with a cat and was going to-
morrow. Every day Aunt Abigail went
to Fanny and said she could not possi-
bly, endure that opinionated old heath
en- and she was casting about for an
other home. but it was dreadful that
she should be alone in the world. with
no one to love but Fanny. and Fanny
must needs be incumbered by all her
husbands relatives. told my uncle
that if | were deprived of the comfort
of caring for my fathers brother in
his old age it would break my heart.
Fanny made faint hearted attempts to
quiet her aunt and agreed with her
that my uncle was a trifle hard to get
on with. regretting at the same time
that he had the same claim on me that
her aunt had on her. 1t is true that
occasionally there would be lull in
the hostilities and we would find the
two chatting quite amicably. But this
was when they happened to strike
some subject which was pet with
both. As soon as they drifted into
topics on which they disagreed the
roar Of battle RECOMMENDED.
Several weeks passed in this way,
and Fanny and I were getting impa-
tient for the denouement. when one
day uncle came to me and said that
he would like to have a few words
with me and Fanny alone. He looked
very serious. and felt quite sure he
would announce his departure. He
was a born gentleman. and nothing |
would be further from his nature than |
to hurt ones feelings. and to appear
ungrateful would break his heart.
called Fanny into the library. shut the
door and waited for the old man to
speak.
my dear boy" he began. taking my
hand. land my dear little girl" taking
Fanny's hand. II have something to
announce which will surprise you.
am going to leave your
"Oh. unclew we both exclaimed. try
ing hard to appear much disappointed.
even shocked.
"Yes, am going away, and your
aunt is also going"
This was indeed a surprise.
"Your kindness has brought about
great change in two lonely lives. For
a time it seemed to both of US that we
must thwart your plans for the happi-
ness of both of us. 1t has not seemed
that we can live under the same roof
together"
He paused. and | thought he was 60
ing to shed tears. Then he added abb
ruptly:
I'VE are both going to leave you to-
"BothT
yes. both. We are to be quietly
married at 0 O'Clock and leave on a
Short wedding trip on the 10 o'clock
train"
Goodness gracious from Fanny
Great Scott" from me.
But we shall be gone only a few
lays"
And them" exclaimed Fanny and
"And then" resumed the old man. ,
putting a hand on each Of our heads.
we return TO spend the rest Of our
ives with our dear niece and nephew"
Heaven helps those who help them