The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-08-08

Unable 10 return. but going down fight
ing, the ''insurgent'' element OF the Can't
Come Back Club met crushing defeat
at the hands Of the regulars at the re-
organization meeting Of the society last
night
7 told you they just can't come
back, " said Father Adam, leader Of the
regulars. who was reelected president
for the 129,745th time II was a great
victory for the organizer and original
member OF the world-famous society.
Never was the motto OF the club more
forcibly verified than by the announce
ment Of the successful candidates.
Dr. Fred Arctic Co)k. who led the
''insurgent" element, would not comment
or the fight last night Talk Of starting
a rival organization. 10 be known as the
"Can-come-back-if We want-to Club"
was rife among the diSgruntled ones.
Father Adam in Chair
Amid the strains Of Back. Back. Back
20 Baltimore" the convention was
brought to order by Father Adam, as
temporary chairman. The call for the
meeting was read amid applause, aud
then nominations were asked for the
presidency.
Or. Fred Arctic Cook was on his feet
IN a moment. and was recognized. In
nominating the "insurgent'' candidate.
the explorer rose with sextant in hand,
and said:
1T is a pleasure TO attend this gather
ing Of the unappreclated great each year.
This year has been an extraordinary one
in our history. and the daily applications
for membership warrant the complete re-
organization Of our forces. Some people
call me an 1nsurgent in this club. but
that isn't in II with what some people
called me In Brooklyn after I gave up
the milk business and went farthest
north.
But I am here 70 say that Z: Is time
for the younger element TO git in its
work" (Shouts OF NO. no." and Put
him out.' from Socrates and the rest Of
the Olympic stars) Or. Cook paused
and took a time sight
Talking for Himself.
Il am convinced that II Is the time
for younger men TO do the work OF the
club" he continued Il place in nomi-
nation the name OF a man who, though
he did come back. did not stay long
I enough-the greatest polar explorer OF
his day, a modest man. a scientist who
has two Eskimos to prove it. the only
man who reached the north pole he Is
my candidate. I take pleasure in pre-
| senting the name of the leader OF them
all-Dr Frederick A. Cook" applause
and jeers from many parts Of the hall)
Wild excitement prevailed after DR..
Cooks speech. James j. Jeffries. a new
member, and red-hot "insurgent," sec
onded the nomination N the name OF the
sporting fraternity Willyum jay Bryan.
the Cherries One. voiced his approba-
ton OF the nomination as follows:
The Commoner tomorrow will issue a
special edition in which will appear a YER
batirh account OF my speech at the Ne
braska Chautauqua. The subject dealt
with is county option. and I trust you Will
ind it interesting. The fight made a few
weeks ago Shouts from regular side:
This amt no Bryan reception" and
'Cut it short"D Mr.. Bryan would not be
disturbed, and talked for forty-three min-
utes on county option, concluding by say
ing: Or Cook is my choice"
Regulars Get Their Turn.
When the regulars got their turn, Fa-
Their Adam relinQuished the chair TO Soc
rates. who was slipping his favorite hem
lock highball Father Adam said:
My children, l don't like to see my
family in a fight. I know we have our
little differences, but such trivialities
should not disrupt an organization like
this. I've run this club ever since MAT
day my wife nd I had apple for dessert,
and believe me. can continue to run It.
What has Dr. Cook ever done for the
world, or even for this club? He dis
covered the pole, you say? Tell that to
the King OF Denmark
Even had he stood at the top of the
earth and sawed down the pole. what
/ good is that TO the country We have
enough Poles here now, and besides
wireless telegraph is going 10 do away
with their use What does that dlscov-
cry amount TO compared to mine?
MY QlaNpNtl 9--NlldN would YOU nave
done without it? No apple pies. apple
dumplings apple sauce-that would mean
mere existence, not real living. II IS up
to you. My record is clear, and l stand
pat.
Apples or Poles. WhichF
Choose which would you-apple sauce.
the pride Of grandmothers' kitchens. or a
pole. that is useless. It rests with you
apples or poles. have spoken"
Stand-pat workers got busy while the
seconding speeches were going on. and
distributed hundreds of apples as cam
paign material for Father Adam. After
receiving so many lemons" during their
career. the delegates fell for a change Of
feed, and this stroke saved the day. Tell
ers were appointed Immediately without
difficulty. and were sent about the hall
with instructions 10 Come hack soon
While the votes were being counted
my dear Maria" sang several songs
She is good singer, even II some Of her
notes did go wrong once or twice. Some