The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1910-09-08

more insisted, ana uPoh i"' 'NN'
waxed wrathful, whoreupon the examiner called
the bouncer
An inventor In Highlands. Col, recently OBJ
tanned a patent upon an alrship that contains all
the comforts OF home In the drawings 1t re-
semhles an .arged picture OF some sort OF
bug with q row OF eyes along the side and
runle down its back; on inspection the rune re-
solves itself into the railing along the upper deck
and the eyes Into windows OF the various State'
rooms on the ship.
The lace curtains OF each window are care
fully looped back so as not to obscure the view
a staircase leads down from the hntchway that
modest women may alight without undue expo
sure of lingerie Everything man can want Is
shown, even to the buffet-that Is, all except the
machinery which is probably In the cellar OF tho
craft with the laundry tubs and the furnace.
man of Bergen, n. J., has patented what
looks Ike large metallic box turned upside
down. There is bottom in IT, In the side
walls are circular openings. and in these are ro
tary fans, which suck the air into the box. The
aeronaut sits IN n suspended from the box.
When the Bergen man wants to fly no turns
the power onto his fans: these pump air into the
box II can only escape downward, and the reac'
ton from this powerful draft will force the box
upward causing 1t to fy-so runncth the patent
specification.
An expert of the patent Office figured out that
n blast strong enough to lift the combined weight
OF machine and aeronaut would blow hole IN
the ground big enough to hide an elephant What
happens to the unfortunate hero who sits below
In the teeth OF this tornado will probably be told
In the supplemental application recently filed.
A genius from GAINESVILLE Tenn, would ny
by incaslng himself in rubber suit, much ike
that of n diver, TO which are attached hollow
wings filed with liquid air. The release OF the
air through waived vents downward and back
ward propels him upward and forward. There
are no eyoholes In the casing, but" naively
remarks the inventor, ftho air pressure from
without will enable the aeronaut to determine his
direction" which Is rather vague sort Of com
pass.
From gay Paree comes Edouard Wulff. with n
patented scheme for flying by means OF eagles,
yultures or condors" True to tho instincts
of his native city. he fits out his birds with Cor
SETS" the specifications OF which as to trimmings,
binding, etc, are carefully set out.
b. Szantmiklosy, from Budapest. Hungary also
has patented a blrd.drven airshp. but limits his
motors to ducks: why ducks is not set forth
OF course Chicago has to shy her castor into
tho ring She turns up with combination
baoon.hotel.boat- arship, with bay windows and
balconies in the body OF the building, "eminenty
adapted for flying through the air or navigating
the water" saith the patent 1t has hull-shaped
body, and the vessel go from air to water
and from water to air without disturbing the
poker game in the smoking room.
But q woman from Brooklyn goes the Chicago
man one better. II some night the lonely way
farer is startled by the appearance OF huge
nondescript bird that alghts in the roadway and
goes steepiechasng country with Barney
oldfeld speed until It reaches nearby lake, over
which It rapidly skins. until landing on the fur
Their shore, It rises into the air again. and disap
pears over tho horizon with u parting firt OF iti
tail let not that wayfarer hasten to the nearest
parsonage and sign the pledge The bird he has
seen is real for It is only th8 lady from Brooklyn
tnltng nn after-dinner spin in her newest inven
ton, a ship that can make q lightning change