The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1910-04-29
SHE COULD KEEP
A SECRET
b. Ebert 7. BENTLEY
Copyright. III. By American Press
Association

Z We EOL llS EUAAOlLIENtsl vie sDl
ever saw"
what do Jon mean by the word
confoundedest: II conveys no mean
ing to me-"
That's the reason apply it to ny
wife. She is beyond the pale Of defni
ton"
DO you use the word Opprobrious.
Iyy
BY no means. She's Jim dandy
"Oh. you've got something on your
mipd-something she has been doing.
Get It Of and have done with IT,"
Right you are. ard when I've told
you you'll agree with me that con.
foundedest is the best word By which
TO describe her You know we live in
the country and I'm a commurer. Ny
monthly Communication ticket costs me
$3.50. / have always been used to
earring my ticket in my hat Its
very convenient you know. place
it between the lining and the rOwn.
/ II put il IN my pOrtemonnaie which
l carry in my hip pocket when I'm
I hurrying 10 my train loaded down with
the bundles which all commuters are
| condemned 10 carry. / have a hard
time getting It out from under my
coat. II it is in my hat / can get at
4 # very easily. There's ferry at the
city end Of the route where the ticket
10 ka1 Er-rna-F-
muters were only required to show
their tickets. and we used to Just lift
| our hats TO the gateman. and he
could see the ticket. II was comical
TO see long line Of passengers taking
of their hats politely to the gateman.
But the practice must have concealed
some skuIlduggery. for the officers
Of the line stopped it. and now we all
must have our tickets punched.
Anyway. always carry ny ticket
in my hat. Well, one morning when
went to the city felt for my commu-
tation ticket. and 1t was gone. 1t was
one I'd Just bought. and its loss in.
volved nearly s24. Thinking / might
have put 1t in one Of my pockets.
ransacked them all. 1t wasn't in any
Of them. | searched the floor. but
there was nothing there. At last
gave it up and paid my fare.
my wife is a very economical wo-
man and considers me the perfection
Of carelessness. / knew If told her Of
my loss she would scold me fer both
wastefulness and carelessnes. ! made
for awhile. paying ny fare out Of the
loose change | carried till the end Of
the month. when | would buy a new
ticket. II was no use. a few morn
ings after my loss as was going out
my wife gave me the customary kiss.
at the same time handing me my hat.
She looked inside and. not seeing the
ticket. felt for it.
"'Why. dear she exclaimed. 4
thought you always carried your com
mutation ticket in your hat
81 was obliged to confess ! had lost
it. Ny wife said: 1 told you so. II you
had kept II in your pO"ketbook. as l
always advised you to do. you wouldn't
have lost it. There's S24 gone. enough
to buy me a spring hat with three big
ostrich feathers
81 hurried away. ostensibly TO catch
the train, but really to escape a scold-
ing. and since it would be cheaper to
commute even with the loss Of four
days than to pay single fares I bought
a new ticket. | kept it in my pocket
book in my hip pocket with a lot Of
memoranda. cards, etc. my cash for
daily expenses being in my vest pock-
ct. had no trouble for a month. when
bought another ticket. On the 4th OF
the month when was getting ready
to 60 to the city | clapped my hand to
my hip to make sure my ticket was
there, and. behold. pOrtemonnaie, tick
ct and all were gone. Somebody must
have picked my pocket
81 thought my wife would cry. FIT
ty dollars gone in two months she
moaned. We're going right down into
the poorhouse. Why will you be so
carelessT
"'If I'd kept It in my hat snap
ped, it would not have been lost.
put It where you told me to put 1t, and
there you are
"'Go and buy another one she said. !
We can't afford to have you spending
forty or fifty dollars a month to save
SPA
well, to make long story short, in |
six months | lost five Communication |
tickets. What had brought about such |
bad luck couldn't tell. I'd commuted |
for seven years and never before lost
a ticket. Thinking some one might be
robbing me-some Of the servants-I
told my wife when lost the last tick.
ct that / was going to put detective
IN the house
My dear she replied. If l say
to you will you scold meY
Certainly not, pet; fire away
"'Well, I've been robbing you of
your communication tickets
81 nearly fell in a faint.
you know Tom Edwards, financial
man for p. & Co. Well. Tom gave me
a tip on some stock that was going to
be 'cornered." shorts squeezed" and
all that. He said if I'd give him 800
he'd put me in with the pool. But
must keep the secret. ! hadn't the
money. but | raised it. a bit here and
l bit there. using your tickets. which
got redeemed at the railroad Office.