davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-08-04
Not vindictixe.

There are germs lying in wait for
you. no matter where you turn" said
the scientist.
Il know it" replied the matter of
fact PERSON. Il dislike germs as much
as anyI'dy can. but ID not going to
quit eating. drinking and breathing
just 10 spite en-. Washington Star
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-08-04
Hcw She Ru,,, Him.

"skinphlint'.l wife certainly has re-
niarkable success in managing him. l
wonder how She does it"
When he undertakes to deny her
anything she really wants she threat-
chs to sue him for divorce
Docs he care SO much for her.
then?'
'Oh. no. it's not that. but he figures
that 1t is cheaper to let her have her
own way than it would he to either
defend tie suit or pay alimony."- Chi
cago Post.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-08-04
Only Pursuing His Professie

Ohty VuTSuiHg tbs FfofeSSlof.
A Brooklyn magistrate recently had
Four darkies who were caught in q
gambling raid before him. The first
of the lot to he brought to the bar was
nn undersized man. with a comical
face as black as night. The dialogue
between the magistrate aud the pris-
oner created some n:errlncnt in the
court.
What is your name:" Inquired the
magistrate sternly
"Mah names Sniff" replied the
darky.
what is Your profcssion?"
"I's q loclss,niff by trade. sah."
''What were you doing when the po.
lice broke into the room last mighty
Judge. ] was pursuin' NAH profess
sion. was maxim bolt for the
door"
"Oficer," said the magistrate. with
merry twinkle in his eye. lock
Smith up'-Ncw York Tribune.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-08-04
SIR MARKS HOTEL BILL.
Relic Of an EARLY Nineteenth Century
Election In Ireland.

dehe OF an Early Nineteenth Century
Election In ireland.
i,urfng tile time of u contested elec.
ton IN Meath. Ireland. In tile early
part f the last century, Sir Mari
S"mervilie sent orders to the mr.. ;prlc.
toe of the hotel iii Trim to t,nar.i aud
t,tsse all tlnt should vote for him,
Tor which lie received the following
''iii which llp got framed. aud ii still.
hangs iii SomerviIle House, County
Mt:lth:
April iith lSaG
MY gn.t.
8. q.
~ 'en,,n. sixteen Ire holders
s3uve stairs ui Sll Niurx, ai
..' jill a head. Is To me .......... 1. {
80 eating sixteen more below
stairs. and two more after s..n-
per. is To me ................... 2 ID i
IN eighteen horses and five ,n,ies
about my yard all night al :.s
every one of them. and foi a
man which was lost on the head
OF watching them all night is To
i:;e Observation-Disclosures. (
10 six beds III one room. and four
IN another. ut TWO guineas every
Ted. and not more than four in
enough. God knows. is TO ne. ~ Is {
For breakfast on tay in the morn
Ing. for every one of Them. and
as many more az they brought
in. as near as can guess, is TO
me .......................... = Il 9
TO raw whisky and punch, with
out talking of pipes and tobac-
co. as we'll as for breaking pot
above stairs and other glasses
and DELPHI for the first Clay and
night. am NOT very sure. but
for the three days and half of
the election as little as 1 can
call 1t. and to be very exact. 1t
is in all or thereabouts as near
as can guess. and not to be
too particular. is to me at least. 70 Is {
For shaving and cropping off the
heads of forth-nine freeholders
for Sir Mark. at 13d for every
head OF them by my brother.
who has vote. is to me ........ Is !
For a womit and nurse for poor
Tom Herman. in the middle OF
the night. when he was not ex-
liected. Is to Observation-Disclosures.
tsn hogs. don't talk Of tire piper
for keeping him sober as long
as he was sober. Is to xne.......-
ITO 10 4
Signed in tl,e place of Jenny Cars wife,
his Mark x
Bryan and Gernghtys Mark x
You may say Ill. so your honour Sir
Mark send me this Eleven Hundred by
Bryan himself, who and prays for your
success always in Trim. SO no more at
present.
The hotel keeper must have got
weary us he neared the end of his
long bill, for his account becomes as
wabbly as some of his guests must
have been when the crash Of glass
and DELPHI accompanied their deep po
tation Of raw whisky and punch.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-08-04
An aspiration is Joy forever. pos
session as solid as a landed estate
Robert Louis stevenson.

a Cruel Jyke.
Oswald. a witty AMI original Pari-
sian. had Il mania fer practical jok-
ing. He was very amusing to his
friends. but when his talents we're ex-
rrted to avenge soire wrong there
was more bitterness han fun liz his
wit. One evening wien Il man who
had moi treated him politely gave a re-
ception he revenged himself cruelty.
The man was slightly deformed. All
the hunchbacks of Faris. 500 in NUM-
Der. presented themselves mt his re-
ception. They he'd received notices
from Oswald that If they shonld go to
this address on this cpsning they
would learn of legacy which had
been left them.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-08-04
A Cad Cart.

"a man Away; looks foolis!, ~hcN
he proposes" said the frank young wo,
man.
Yes" answered Mr.. sIeekton. "nnl
have evidently failed to overcome
the absurd impression made OH Hen
rietta on that occasion. Washington
Star.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-08-04
Damascus Of Msrvclou. View.

The view of Damascus from the
mountain xhs:e Moh:.,nned made his
gT.sa; re.slnt:lilinn is 80. 80. Il III. mar
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-08-04

Common sense Is instinct, and enough
Of Il = ee0ius.-H. W. shaw.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-08-04

.Why. Gladys. you are spelling your
dolly"
NO. mamma: am painting its
cheeks with the same color that you
use. Judge.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-08-04
aae;.v p.r.dax

Social Paradox.
cts impossible for me to dress on
5000 year"
"Well. my lore. you must wear less"
Don't be silly. You know perfectly
we'll that the less wear the more It
costs."-Judge's Library.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-08-04

TO rob robber Is not robb,ns.-
French Psovssh.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-08-04
Tact.
Too Full.

Too Full.
A man very much intoxicated was
taken to the police station.
why did you not bail him out?" in
Quired a bystander of friend.
Ball him OUT" exclaimed the other.
"Why. you couldn't pump him outv'
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-08-04
Allowances.

Allowances.
"Of course admit your son is ex-
travagant. But you must make allow
ances: he's young"
That's all right! But the more al
lowances l make the quicker he blows
em."-Judge.
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27
TRIED TO HIDE
HIS REVOLVER
ON WAY TO HEADQUARTERS
ROWDY DROPrED 1T INTO
TRASH CAN-cAME BACK TO
LOOK FOR 1T. But.

There was some excitement Great
ed yesterday afternoon at the Bijou
theatre when Manager Travis Kim
mel attempted to eject three me
who were disturbing the show, spit
ting on the floor and INDUCING
loud talking They were told to ge'
their 15c back at the ticket office and
keep out When outside they con
tinrod berating the manager am
made threats Mr.. Kimmel asket
Pete Lind to telephone 10 headqual
tiers for an officer AMI followed taE
men down the street where they wen
into a, saloon at the corner of SiXtl
and Commercial evenue. While If
there Officer Kennedy appeared up
on the scene and took them to POI
lice headquarters. Enrouie there, on
of the men who was tagging a little
behind the others was seen by people
across the street TO frop something
into the metal trash box standing Or
the sidewalk in front of the opera
house The object fell with thud
against the side Of the box and snort
ly after they had passed on someone
went to see what had been droppel
into the box and found fine new
revolver, fully loaded.
At headquarters the men gave
their names as A. q. White, Dick
Ferris and J. B. Haggert, all of Clin-
ton, Ky. They nad come up from be-
low where prohibition is supposed
to prohibit to enjoy freely and unmo
lestcd the flowing bowl
Not wishing TO remain over in
Cairo till Monday morning they ASK
ed what their fine would be and be-
ing told $500 each, they paid the
total, 1880, and departed to get the
revolver that had been so deity ca
thrown into the waste can. That
can was raked over. tipped over, ami
every seam and creyice examined to
recover the beautiful pearl handled
gun that mvst have cost % plunks,
but it was not there The owner of
Ne pretty toy ought to consider him
self lucky is so easily getting rid Of
the man killer, for if 1t had been
found upon him at police headquar-
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27
WOMAN SLATED FOR
EDUCATIONAL HONORG

Boston. July 27-That Mrs. Ella
Flagg Young, Chicago's superintend
ents OF schools, viii be elected the
next president of the National Eduea
tional association apparently is a Ger
tainty. The annual convention of tae
organization, the greatest body Of
educators in the world, opened IN
Boston July and %ill continue until
the Sth. That the n F. A. will honor
itself, Mrsa Young and Chicago and
incidentally pay tribute to the
womanhcod of the United States by
adding another distinction to the first
woman superintendent OF schools of
a metropolis is the opinion of the ma
jority of the members.
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27
EVIDENCE TO FOREIGN OFFICE

Rome. June 27.---The ministry Of
justice today transmitted to the for
eign Office the evidence in the case oil
Mrs. Porter Charlton, who was muir
dered at Lake Como. leaving the for
eign oEic free regarding further
Their steps to be taken in the matter
of the extradition from the United
States of the confessed slayer Por-
ter Charlton.
It is ebel!eved here the whole al.
fair viii be disposed OF by nesotia'
tons between the Italian embassy at
Washington and the American au
thcr.ties.
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27
Enjoyed the Surroundings.

A number of colored men and
women wer enjoying themselves
drinking beer in the restaurant adj
Joining Baltimore's saloon at Thirty,
ninth and Commercial avenue, Sat
urdav night when Charles Porter
the husband OF one OF the women,
tried to induce her to leave the com
pany which he considered bad, but
without success. He then appealed
to officer VIII Egan for assistanc7.
The woman refused to bulge. stating
that she would 20 to Jail first be-
fore she would go leave such congen,
ial company.
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27
THE MOST POPULAR GIRL
Contest Conducted by Management
of Opera House is Increasing
in Interest Daily.

Things were again lively in the
voting contest at the opera house last
night. Many votes We're cast for the
different favorites and the list will
show that the head liners are
punched. Expressions Of commenda-
ton for Manager Williamson in thus
giving the employed girls of the city
a chance at one weeks stay at Creal
Springs and the interest IN the con-
test has become quite general.
Two votes are given with each
matinee admission and one vote with
each ticket at night.
STANDING of Contestants,
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27
Court Attaches.

Sheriff Nellis has appointed two
bailiffs from Cairo for the July term
OF the circuit court. The balirf MS.
ually appointed from the county has
not as yet been selected. Chief
Deputy Sheriff. Joe Gotthart and
James Barrow are the Cairo select
ions. The July term begins Monday
the 18th.
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27

through Justice lannon's office for the
arrest of Jesse Critchlow for assault
upon Joe Oehler. His trial will prob
ably come up Monday Critchlow, it
is said, made an unprovoked assault
upon Oehler
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27

Mrs. N. Sander entertained with
dinner at the Halliday yesterday IN
honor of ner guest, Miss Anna Sand
Ter, OF Chicago. A most delicious SIX
course dinner was served. The table
was very tastefully decorated with
carnations. The guests were Miss
Anna Sander. pf Chicago. Misses
Saran Goodman. Pearl and Edna
Cohn, Sarah Simon, Dena Marx and
Mrs. NJ Sander.
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27
cairo's Vaudeville Artist.

Eddie Allen. of Faudatlle fame.
will remain in Cairo some days. His
company, The Winning Miss" dis
banded for the esaason Mt Nashvilla.
Tenn, and since then Allen has been
doing vaudeville at Birmingham. He
was called home by tie illness OF his
mother Now that she has recovered
lie is undecided M~etler to return
TO Birmingham or accept position
at another place
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27
PERSONAL MENTION.

]. H. Stubs, OF Sikeston. Mo, Wis
ited In Cairo yesterday,
Mrs. j. Martin, has returned from
visit in Carbonate.
Joe Desberger, Of Paducan, visited
friends In Cairo yesterday.
Thomas I. Lindsay. OF Charleston,
Mo, was in Cairo yesterday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Frank Spencer spent
Sunday with friends in Mounds.
Floyd Wilhelm. OF Carbonate, Wis
tied friends in the city yesterday
Miss Fannie Lee Tolson. OF Jack
son, Tenn, is visiting in the city
Mayor Parsons returned last night
from an extended trip through the
east
G. F. Hatch, of Chicago. who has
been here on business, has returned
home.
Mrs. N. D. Finch and Miss Winfred
Cox will return today from a visit in
Unity, ILL.,
Mr.. and Mrs. Thomas w. Cannon
left last evening for Chicago on a
short visit.
Misses Beatrice Walker and Agnes
Thomas are the guests of friends in
Columbus, Ky.
Mrs. Nelson c. DePew. of the Hal
liday, has returned from visit in
Jackson. Tenn,
Mrs. M. F. Gilbert and grand-daugh.
ter, Louise Halliday, are visiting rel
atives in Alton.
Miss Anna Sander, of Chicago, is
the guest Of her brother, N Sander,
of Eighth street.
Mrs. Charles Edecker has been
seriously i'll at her home 3o2 Wash
ington avenue.
Miss Eula Richie, of Ere st. Louis
is here visiting Miss Tillie Byrne and
Mr.. Joseph McNulty.
A. Wagner, of 429 Eleventh
street, has just returned from bust.
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27
Twenty-seventh Stree. improvement,

Twenty-seventh street between
Washington avenue and Walnut
street which has been curbed and
guttered by private contract has been
put in excellent shape by the city's
gang of laborers. This street. which
was graveled some years ago by pli.
vate contract, will soon present a fine
appearance.
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27
Still Working Teams.

Julius Serbian is still at work level
ing and grading the right-of-way In
the city limits for the, Cairo and
Thebes railroad preparing the way
for track laying, which, it Is expect
ed, will begin this week.
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27
|. SOCIAL o4ND PERSONAL y
ness trip to Arkansas.

mess trip to Arkansas.
i l.. f. Fisher, Of Danyille, ILL.,, is in
the city on business for tne Cairo
and St Louis Railway Co.
DR. and Mrs. J. j. Rendleman ana
daughters have returned from visit
with relatives in Makanda. Ill.
Mr.. and Mrs Bud Smedley of Sew
enth street. are sojournng for sew,
eral weeks at Alto Pass, Ill.
| Lillard Turk. of Bardwell, KY, was
the guest of Mrs. A. A. Bonduraat
and family on Eighth street yester
day.
Miss ortar. OF Memphis, Tenn. is
visiting her aunt, Mrs. Morton and
her cousin, Ed Morton, of 221 Sixth
street.
Ed Eichenberger has returned
home from prospecting trip to Okla
homa and other points west as well
as south.
A A. W2nger. who has been visit
ing his brothers. j. w. and C. P.
Wenaer leaves this evening for his
home in Ogden, Utah.
Hisey Woodward, who has been in
st. Mary's Infrmary. having been
operated upon for appendicitis, has
recovered sufficiently to return to his
home.
Mr.. and Mrs Geo. B. Hall who
We're married at the home OF Mr.. and
Mrs. Wagner, 429 Eleventh street, |
left yesterday for their home at
Evansville, Ind.
Guy P. Eiehenberger and family
left last night for Chicago. From
there they will go to Colorado
Springs Colo, where they have taken |
a house for the summer
Manager j. w Hobbs, of the Bell |
Telephone Co. returned yesterday
from Buffalo, N. Y, where he spent |
10 days on visit with his two sons,
one of whom recently arrived from |
Panama where he has ben located for |
several years.
Rev and Mrs. Geo. Babcock leave
tonight for Chicago, where Mr.. Bah
cock will take charge of a parish |
They have been in Cairo a little over
a year but on account OF Mr.. Rab-
cocks health, he had to resign from
the Church of the Redeemer where |
he has been rector since coming here.
Rev. and Mrs F. A. DeRossettI
and family will arrive tomorrow
from Springfield Rev DeRossett will
return to Cairo TO be rector of the
Church of the Redeemer, from which
church he has been absent for seven |
years, during which time he has
been rector of the Pro-Cathedral in
Springfield.
R. A. Stevens arrived yesterday to
visit for several days with his brother
DR.. D. A. Stvens. He is with the
Marshall Field Co. of Chicago. He,
like his brother, is an ordained
preacher of the Christian church He
has charge of the music for the Met
ropolitan Christian church at Chi |
cago. The congregation of the First
Christian church last evening were
pleased to hear him sing solo.
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27
Purchased New Auto,

I.ep Lazarus, OF 325 Eighth street,
has purchased an f. NJ F. 80 auto
mobile from the Cairo Motor Car Co..
at Twenty-first street and Washing
t?n avenue.
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27
Opened An Office.

James Mulcahay, erstwhile farmet
capitalist, politician and retired has
opened UP an office and put out h &
shingle as real estate and insurance
agent, at 1904 Commercial avenue
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27
Country Club.

Entertainment Day at the Country
Club will be Thursday this weeG'
Tia hostasses are Mesdames w. IL.
Sutherland, j. L. Harris and the
Misses Bennett.
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27
CITY NEWS IN BRIEF
Accented Mem Position.

John Mulvihill, who has been en-
ployed for some time at John p.
Glynn's office, Is now installed as
night agent at the Mobile and Ohio
freight office.
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27

Several members OF the Molern
Brotherhood OF America claim they
have not given up the idea of having
4 carnival company here during next
month. They claim they are still fig.
urlng on the project.
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27

tiers he would have had to pay $40,
and costs. for "toting" the gun, and
its confiscation also.
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27
Wednesday Card Club.

Mrs Il. G. Kerth viii entertain the
Wednesday Card Club at her home
17G4 Washington avenue, Wednes'
day morning.
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27

be a candidate for the Republican
nomination Tor sheriff at the ensuing
primary election.
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27

l.. +. Fisher. OF Danyille. ILL.,, is in
the city on business for tne Cairo
and st. Louis Railway Co.
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27

Readers OF The Bulletin get the
news when 1t is news.
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27

DR. and Mrs. ]. j. Rendleman ana
daughters have returned from a visit
with relatives in Makanda. Ill.
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27
SI.z5 a Leg

FOR RENT-Aiter July Isl,
StOreroom in Opera House Block,
fiaeSt stOrerOOm in The city.
Inquire OF First Bank and Trust
Co., Agents.
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27
Want Streets Flushed.

The residents of Walnut and Tween.
ty-first streets. where the new brick
pavements have been built. have ex.
pressed an earnest desire to have the
streets gone over by the flusher.
Most of Walnut street has been com
pieted for many weeks and the
bricks have been lost sight OF, cover
ed by an accumulation OF dirt.
viii Not Be Candidate.
Justice Thomas A. Fuller wishes
the public to know that he will not
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27

FOR RENT-After July isl,
StOrerO0m in Opera House Block,
finest StorerOOm in the city.
Inquire OF First Bank and Trust
Co., Agents.
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27

Mr.. and Mrs. Bud Smedley of Sew
enth street. are sojourning for sew,
eral weeks at Alto Pass, Ill.
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27
Arrested For Assault.

A warrant was issued yesterday
The Cairo bulletin., 1910-06-27

A. Wagner, of 429 Eleventh
street, has just returned from bust
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-10-30
Society Season for Year Open at Capital
BY

Other New Workers who arc in the
fight are Mr.. and Mrs. Peter GoeIet
Gerry (formerly Miss MathjdIa Town
send), tho Robert e. Roosevclts, the
Edison Bradlcys, Herbert Parsons and
his affiliations, including the Henry
Clews set, Representative Hamilton
Fish and Mrs. Cameron.
Battalion of Social Leaders.
Chicago has Il whole battalion of go
cial leaders here. The Chicago faction
is undoubtedly led by Mrs Levi l..
Letter, seconded by Mrs Charles A.
Mum, Mrs. George a. Pullman, tho
Frank B, Noyeses and the Robert Pat
tersons, who arc in mourning, however,
for the time being.
The Cincinnati aggregation is very
favored one in this administration and
time. 1t includes Mrs. John r. Nc
Lean, whose kindly nature and ac-
complisbments have endeared her to
Washington society; Representative
and Mrs. Nicholas Andersons, Mr.. and
Mrs: Nicholas Longworth, Mrs. Alfred
Clifford Barney, who contributed
piquancy. and originality to society
here, and Mrs. William A. Boardman
and Miss Mabel Boardman, a dear
friend of Mrs Taft.
quota. Mrs. Larz Anderson, the au-
thor; Mrs. William Phillips, tho Her
bert Wadsworths, Mrs William A.
Draper and Franklin Ellis are further
ing the cause Of the Hub.
Mrs, Grace Westinghouse, the Repre-
sentative Huffs, Secretary and Mrs.
Knox and the Henry Kirk Powers
watch PIttsburg's interests, while San
Francisco sends a trio of fabulously
wealthy millionaires IN Hennen Jen-
nipgs, Gardiner Williams and the Rich
ardson Clovers as it's representatives
| Even staid old Philadelphia is in tho
race with the Wyeths, the Reyburns
and the Laurence Townsends.
Beauty of Debutantes.
Miss Doris Haywood, daughter oe
the late William Haywood, and grand
daughter of the late Judge jeremiah
| Wilson, will be one of the beauties of
the season. She is identified with the
smartest of the debutantes this year,
although her particular girl friends and
classmates came out last year. She
was the youngest among them, and
agreed with her mother that it would
be better for her to defer formal
debut ill this year, so she had trip
to Europe this summer, and will como
out with Paris wardrobe AS re-
ward for waiting. She is an extreme
and will be presented by her at tea,
! followed by dance, late in November,
in the substantial old home in / street,
where her mother made her bow to so
ciety and where she was married Miss
Haywood is a good dancer, tennis
player, and fine linguist, an ac-
complishment so necessary in Washing
ton for any one who sees much Of the
foreign element in the diplomatic
corps. Mrs. Haywood has arranged a
tea, dance and some luncheous and
dinners for her only daughters first
| season.
A change i'll the diplomatic corps
which will remove from Washington
one of its most charming hostesses and
a recent bride is the transfer of tho
second secretary of the German en-
bassy, Ferdinand Won Stumm