The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1910-09-23
THE BLEASE BANQUET.
AbbeYiIIe Press and Banner.


was invited to the feast except news
paper men.
The toast master Of the occasion
was the Newberry Herald and News.
The table was ladened with all the po-
litical delieacies common to such an
occasion. The Newberry Herald and
News occupied the head of the table
and dispensed meats. At the opposite
end of the table the venerable Laur-
ensville Herald took up position near
the SILLY bub" tank and coffee pot.
When the guests had gathered for
the feast of the Newberry Herald and
News up-spoke enquiring of the hon.
ored guest, the News and Courier, what
he would have? Whereat the News
and Courier spoke for a generous slice
of we'll done crow!
"And what will the Daily Mail take?"
asked the toast-master "Give me a
small slice," said the Mail. "Of what, :"
asked the toast-master. "Oh, make it
crow" answered the Mail.
sWhat will the next brother, the
Laurensville Herald take?" came from
the head of the table Turkey for mine
with oyster dressing, cut out all
'Econsommes" and light truck, add
stoup of "silly-bub" with ten penny
in it, and cup of black coffee"
s'Greenville News, what will you
have?" "Just plain crow please, not too
much; my appetite is rather "frac-
tious." Ny medico tells me that dark
meat is most agreeable to my health
just now.
s'What shall I serve to the Charles
ton Post" asked the host and toast
master. shall I make it turkey?''
"Please to slice me piece of breast
of crow" was the reply, turkey is
too rich for my blood just now, need
something sedative and cooling for my
constitution, I've been rather fe7erish
for SPELL"
The good old Spartanburg Journal
and Herald with dignity unfolding
their napkins spoke out Simultaneous
~ for crowi "Give US crow" they said,
sssince it is all the go We want crow!
make it plain crow with no knick
knacks, we do not often indulge, but
since the company calls for crow our
appetites lean that way too"
The POSTMASTER and host began to
look serious.
what will our good old friend, the
Record, take" he next asked The
Record smiled and said, "I'll take
teenchy weenty piece Of crow with
little turkey gravy please" and some
one said that the Record actually
smacked his lips, which was of course
indecorous,
The State sat next. "To what shall 1
Serve your asked the host. 'Oh, quit
your kiddin,'' said the State, 'you
know what I want, give it to me
straight, too, no ferbelows nor foun-
ces." "What part of the fowl would you
like?" asked the host. "I'll take the
gizzard and the parsons nose, please"
And the host hesitated What is the
parsons nose," he enquired. It was
explained to the host that it was that
part of the fowl which got over the
fence last, and the State was properly
served.
The host arose with a serious gra-
vity and remarked that the supply Of
crow was about exhausted, and asked
if none would take turkey, but all the
board began to be clamorous for crow.
els it possible" asked the host, "that
all this big juicy turkey is to be left to
me? Are there no others to divide
with? This is most unusual gathering
of banqueters that so few will eat tur
key and so many are clamorous for
crow"
And so they banQueted. Presently
the host proposed the toast, ''Who kill
ed Featherstone."
I, said the State,
With my copper plate,
killed Featherstone.
Who saw him die?
7, said Charleston,
With my "six to one,''
saw him die.
Who caught his blood?
I, said the POST"
7 make that boast,
I caught his blood.
Who dug his grave?
I, said the MAIL"
It was my tale,
=;