Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1910-11-09
HARMONY
CORNERS
BY Nj. QUAD
Copyright. 1870 by Associated Lit
ereEy Press.

Schif the blacksmit shop. Then there
was Philetus Schiff, Aaron Schiff, Adm
iron Schiff, Goodheart Schiff, Thurs
day Schif. Godfear Schiff and Elijah
Schitf. all farmers. within a radius OF
two miles Each Schin was related To
all the other Schiffs by blood or mar
rage. 1t was settlement of Schiffs
alone and had been for fifty years.
No strangers were allowed to butt in.
Old Moses, who ran the store with
the help Of son, was ti4e patriarch OF
the flock. He was adviser. judge and
jury in all matters. There had never
been case for the lawyers in that
community. II there was a disagree
ment it was taken to Moses. He said
do this or do that, and it was done.
People said that Harmony Corners
was a living. breathing example of the
morality and unselfishness of human
nature.
After all that half century Of peace,
industry and good will Godfear Schif
was the one to produce discord. IL
was another proof that there's nothing
in name. 1t was seldom that any
thing called Schiff away from home,
but on an occasion Godfear had to
make a journey to Pittsburg eighty
miles away. 1t was a serious event.
1t called Tor serious talk and many
prayers. He might return alive, but
the chances were very much against
it. His will had been made for years,
and he read 1t over. fed the cows and
departed.
Godfear reached the Smoky City
right end up. much TO his astonish-
ment. He saw houses and stores and
factories. He saw a sewing machine
In a show window, and as he stood
looking at 1t barker pulled him In
and the merits of the machine were
explained He thought well Of It,
There were seven children in his fami-
ly and much sewing to do. Not a
Schiff had a labor saving machine OF
| any sort. not even corn shelter or an
| apple parer AS their grandfathers
had lived so were they living. God
fear was in town three days. He call
ed TO inspect that sewing machine six
different times AT last he drew a
long breath and decided to take the
chances and ordered the thing sent on
to him.
| The Schiffs never dealt with ped
dlers nor agents. The very same ma
chine could have been bought at God
fears own gate any day in the week
Moses sat on that machine In Judi
cial capacity for a week and then de-
cided that IL must be given up. Il
was witchcraft; IL was an innovation;
1t would break up the long prevailing
harmony Of Harmony Corners. God
fear bucked. The invention had been
tested, and it would do more sewing
in day than his wife could do by
hand In a week. There was no odor
of birthstone about Il. 1t ate no hay
or oats, and occupied but a small
space. Some of the other Schiffs, and
particularly the wives, backed him up.
OF course, the news that Godfear
Schiff had ''bFoken out was passed
around the country, and the immedi-
ate result was to bring a swarm Of
sewing machine agents down on the
Schiff tribe. They had sewing ma
chimes that would tuck, hem, rufiie,
braid, embroider, patch. sew on but
ton, rock the baDy, churn the butter,
feed the hens, sort over potatoes, build
the fire and all that, and they came
and talked and talked. Then the tin
| peddlers and parlor organ men came.
Moses Schiff saw the cloud no bigger
than a mans hand. and he called a
gathering Of his clan He was heeied
with statistics to prove how greatly
those inventions of Satan had increas-
ed the wickedness of the world. Thou
| sands of murders, burglaries, horse
thefts, elopements and so on could be
| directly traced to them. Did they
want 70 find themselves on the gal
lows? Did they want TO know that
their children were in state prison?
In fact, did they sigh 10 meet Satan
face to face and be caught up and sent
down to the hot place by rapid transitT
II they bought parlor organs and
sewing machines, what next? Why,
brass bedsteads, chinaware, furs, new
hats, corn shelters, carpets and stuffed
chairs would be sure to follow, and
then farewell to the harmony Of Har-
mony Corners. With tea IS In his
eyes be besought aud wrestled, but
number of the S,:hiffs had got started
on the downward road and wouldn't
hold up 1t was only lour days after
the meeting that one ~ them bought
an egg beaten and tue click Of the
spoon against the bowl would be heard
in his family no more. Then came a
dollar alarm clock, and this was fol-
lowed by a set OF cane seated chairs.
Satan had got his grip.
In one year from that visit Of God
fears to Pittsburg the leayen was
working overtime. The Schiffs were
at odds: they were bringing lawsuits
against each other; they were putting
down ingram carpets IN their parlors;
they we~e buying patent ehurns; the
men no longer went to church bare
footed and in their shirt sleeves. Old
Moses called another gathering and
threatened and bulldoZed. but the cy-
clone had got started and the only
way ont for him was to commit sui
eide. Two years later half Of Har-
mony Corners was owned by others
than Schiffs, and the harmony Ct half
a century was harmony no more. And
then its name was changed to the one
It bears today Hardscrabble.
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