davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-10-21
TWO-MINUTE VAUDEVILLE
By FRED scHAEFER

THUD-Whats all that dentistry
SLAP-Thats trade emblem
a bridgeworker III
THUD-Wha = bridge architect?
SLAP-No not exactly although learned
wrestler You there wasn't much
couldn't make honest dollar
watched bridges till smebodd drop bridge ticket could
trade it drink Finally falling
bridge force and got the job of the
bridge painter Pretty
bridge it till
spring jump
the qualified
bridge worker
THUD- bridge worker, what is your
shes a
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-10-21

"Triplets wuz born in
Beeleysport last week, an
tn chamber o. commerce is
demandin' that they be in
cluded in tn last census.
Argentina has a climate so mild
that stock can live all year on pas
turage.
I'm afraid you won't do" said
the cavalry recruiting officer. "We
| want heavy men who can ride
straight over anything, if neces-
sary."
That's all right, SIR" said the
applicant. Il used to drive taxi
cab"
Australia has over s7,ooo,ooo
sheep.
Minister'S Daughter-Papa's sub
ject tonight is Love One Another"
Shall we go?
Her Fiance-No, dear. I think
we had better stay at home and
practice what your father breaches.
Germans toy trade aggregates
sec, 100000 annually.
els this public water?"
Eyes, SIR"
''Then it won't be a crime if l
land a fish,"
mo, it will be a miracle"
October was the eighth month
until 713 3. c.
Waste marsh lands are being re-
claimed in Bermuda by growing
celery.
THERE FOR KEEPS.
There was a young man from N. Y.
Who sailed quite oft through the
sky.
One day a spark missed,
And his plane gave a twist
Once more he is soaring on high.
About $4,000 buildings are de-
stroyed in this country by fire every
year.
It's an i'll wind that blows out
your last match.
Most people who cast their bread
upon the water use 1t for bait.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-10-21
A CRAZNOG
up you can always bank on it con

up you can always bank on 1t COM
ing back.
There are so many airships now
that you can go out in your yard
or on your roof any morning and
pick up enough bamboo framework
broken into stove lengths to cook
the breakfast with.
But though the risk is great the
reward of daring is greater. l knew
an aviator once who started as a
poor boy and inside of an hour fell
into a fortune He dropped right
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-10-21

through the skylight of a bank onto
the paying teller's desk. 1d
OF course, things aren't perfect
yet. What's needed is not so many
machines that can fly, but more
men that can. When a man who
can't fly is up in flying machine
he is at the mercy of its moods. II
1t stops he is at disadvantage,
and the next moment he is at a
funeral.
l found Glenn Latham Wright,
the celebrated birdman, tossing
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-10-21
HH>>>>HAH~ >>>
= kISSiN'. .

= Some say kissin' ae sin, .
= But say, not at al; =
= For it's been in the ward =
= Ever sim there we're twa. .
= If 1t were ma Lawful =
= Lawyers wadna' low 1t, .
= If 1t were ma holy .
. Meenisters wadna' dae It, .
= If it were ma modest =
= Maidens wadna' taste It; '
. If it were ma plenty =
. Puir folk couldna' haze 1t. =
. Scottish Saying. =
80 90 90 \>>>>>
NEW PASTOR FOR
GOSPEL TABERNACLE
Rev. T. ]. Potter of Newark, N. j.,
has been called to the pastorate of
the Gospel Tabernacle church, JET
ferson and Mallon streets.
HIS SURE FATE.
The man who goes to the doctor
too often is operated on at last
Life.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-10-21
TOO LATE.

There was considerable crashing
of teeth in the outer darkness,
whereupon the chosen few laughed
derisively.
mo use-even Fletcherism won't
save you now!" they called out in
hooking tones.-Puck.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-10-21

hemp seed to his flock of biplanes
at his aviary, and asked him if he
felt safe going up in an aeroplanes.
Eyes, certainly" he said. "The
going up part is the saft part of it,"
My wife was along, and she told
me never to risk my life in an aero
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-10-21
Spokane, Warrington
Oct. n, 1910
To Our SAVINGS
DepOSit0rS

HERE rs NO OTHER SAVINGS
bank in the Northwest that is con-
Quoted on the rigid plan of our
savings department. Not only are
your deposits protected by the
capital and Surplus Of the COM
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-10-21
7. E. WESTLAKE co.
1876 Riverside Ave.

The Sanitary, Up-to-the.Minute
Grocery. Established 10 Years
Our motto Is quality; our
methods care In filling your or.
ders, courteous treatment at all.
times and prompt deliveries.
We are at present charging
our plant to meet the require
ments of an increasing business.
Call on US and convince yourself
that we can supply your wants
and insure your satisfaction.
We would be pleased to show
you through our new modern
bakery and other manufacture
ing departments at all times.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-10-21

Most people who cast their bread
upon the water use it for bait.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-10-21
DESCENT.

"My ancestors came over in the
Mayflower."
81 hats nothing; my father de-
scended from an aeroplane."-Life.
The Prescott daily news., 1910-05-24
FIT ESTERLv ID DRUG STORE H

Where your trade is appreciated
The Prescott daily news., 1910-05-24
BLOOD STANDS STILL
Piles Can't Be Cured Until Circulation
 Is Restored.

It is useless to try to cure piles by operating or use of salves or suppositories as long as the blood is stagnant in the lower bowel, new tumors will continue to form. Clear the blood-free the circulation. Then piles will leave for good. A successful, scientific, internal remedy is Dr. Leonhardt's Hem Roid, sold un- der guarantee by the Hesterly Drug O., Prescott, Ark. Hem Roid does it's work thoroughly. $1 for 24 days treatment. Dr. Leonhardt O., Station B, Buffa- To, N. Y. Write for booklet.
The Prescott daily news., 1910-05-24

Duncan Brown and w. c. Felts left this morning for Little Rock, where they go to attend the meeting of the Arkansas Cotton Seed Crushers' Associa- tion, which meets there today for a two days session.
 This afternoon at 5 o'clock, there will be shipped from this place seven cars of one year old yearlingS. 4S0 in number, des- tined to Abilene, Tex, and con- signed to Sam Cox, who made the purchase here through H. A. Loomis, and who expects to place the cattle on his large ranch near that place. Sam Mum will accompany the stock, and will remain in Texas week or more, helping Mr. Cox in the herding of the yearlings.
The Prescott daily news., 1910-05-24
Our Daily Story

her discbedience and climh.s
 ger The transom was only h.,, Ire lad. put pushed it up flat and looa noasi.open,
 Tt was va. dusk by this tims sAea 'ai in Goula S all but see Harry and ana @ l John on their way home u uncle salad! Far down the ban ana no our little dog, Togo. He began 1't,a ta Il, see wi.aiy. M That made me laugh. s aus Osfk saw humor in the situation ca ana l nrst time. Here was l. eyno. ol the just what the burglar must bar beucins when he heard Togo bark-for 'e lelt sure Togo parked at the burglar ! am
 T slipped into the onanin~
 ana drew my feet off the ladder 'asliy sg then the front doorbell rang, .. sast It must be Harry with uncle 1oh. Aiew the house was dark and there wa. aup one to welcome them. so sh". a' no eye and jumped. smut my
 T can't for the life of ma .or what happened, but the t.an ,en you crashed down with me my Asom s slipped from the door knoh who. oO. stepped on 1t and all of ne ono a down together-for Togo met ma sAeu ' the bottom. having bravely advon.ss a, to the attack. With the awful eu nO, ol o breaking glass and barking dog tho front door flew open and in " n. uue Harry. He thought it was tho sle a glar again! Oui'
 He rushed in, saying. tauptinc,r So you thought you'd come bacL s., finish the job? We'll, you're csras. M with the goods this time!' Ana ha flashed on light A'
 Well, whenever think of my eta. of mind at that moment realize whs, crazy people feel like just before tbov forget their egos. In the general ch., ter that followed 1 learned that nno,o John wouldn't get here till the nov, day; that Harry had tried to reach me by phone and had come homo early when he couldn't reach me [ kept telling him about the lettuce th., had left on the stepladder.
 But what really hurts worse ,h., my arm Is the fact that all of if wac useless.
 Tn the first burst of coherent tall Harry asked. Why didn't you go hack when you heard my ring and knew [ had a key? Though, after all, you didn't need one. The noise of the fall scared the wits out of me and fluno open the door without even trying to find my key. Did you slip the latch or what was the matter?'
 Then l remembered that did slin the latch off when went out, because knew the key was in the finger of my gray gloves, and didn't have time to stop and find it."
The Prescott daily news., 1910-05-24
For rough pine lumber phone

For rough pine lumber phone 13.
 Ed Barefield is post gradu ate Optician.
 Dr. c. B. Hesterly, of Glen vile, was a visitor to Prescott last night.
 With every six dollars in cash you spend with Duke Bros. you get a nice bronze plate free.
 Mr. and Mrs. Glide Marsh left this morning for Carlisle, where they will make their future home.
 The Woman's Christian Tem> perance Union will meet Thurs day afternoon with Mrs. J. w. Lewis. Let every member be present.
 Come to the opera house May 26th, and see the dignitied but Ter, Jenkins. He attends strictly to his own duty, but lets Patty coax him into being a Romeo.
 Rev. E. F. Wilson, pastor of the Methodist church at Mur- freesboro passed through Pres colt this morning enroute to FL Dorado, where he goes to visit relatives.
The Prescott daily news., 1910-05-24
Strawberry ice cream - 4o per quart delivered.

Strawberry Ice cream 4oo per quart delivered.
 Hesterly Drug Store.
 See Dexter Bush as Phillip the very interested young stu dent of medicine in "Mr. Bob." Opera house, May 26.
 The Presbyterian Ladies Aid Society solicits plain sewing; charges 75 cents an afternoon Mrs. w. B. Waller, Chm. Work Com.
 Mir. and Mrs. w. w. Teal, Miss Mary Laster and o. B. Gordon left this morning for Homan, Ark, where they will join a party of friends from Fulton and other adjacent points on a two or three days fishing trip.
 The charter for the new Knights Templar Commandery was received here today, and will be known as the Ascalon Com mandery. There are at present only nine members of the lodge, but a class of twenty expect to be initiated at a meeting to be held in the near future. Arrangements have been per. | fected to have Harvie Jordan, of Atlanta, Georgia, address the people of Nevada county, at the court house in this city, on We'd nesday, June 1st, at ? o'clock D. m. Mir. Jordan will talk on matters of general interest to farmers and merchants, and his address will be worth the time you may give him.
 Lee Cox, of Rowland township, brother of Dr. J. E. Cox, of this city, was severely bitten by a Vi cious dog yesterday. The dog belonged to Dave Pierce, neigh bor, and Mr. Cox had gone there for the purpose of securing some small neighborly favor, when the dog, as Mr. Cox entered the yard, attacked him. Fighting as best he could with his hands. Mr. Cox for a time warded the canine off, but finally the dog grabbed a tooth hold on one of his hands, and inflicted painful and dangerous wounds, and Mir. Cox was in the act of cutting the dogs throat with the other hand when mem bers of the family came to the rescue and called the dog away.
The Prescott daily news., 1910-05-24
Breaking In

No. I cant wear elbow sleeves for weeks, and you know how I hate long ones," sighed young Mrs. Martin. as she rubbed her bandaged forearm care fully. Harry says 1 ought to thank my protecting gods that l am not wear ing splints for every bone, and 1 sup pose ought. But the burglar was a big man--so they told us afterward- and why couldn't 1 manage transom with all my basketball training as well as hee"
 But do tell me what it is all about" said her friend, as she dropped a bunch of sweet peas into delicate vase and filled it with water. Your husband phoned me this morning. ask ing that run over to see you, as your uncle had gone and you were laid up with a game arm. That's all know. What about the burglar? You haven't had another?"
 No. dear, not another" answered Miss Martin. What loves of flowers How sweet of you to bring them! It is the same old burglar that we had two months ago and uncle John who are to blame for all this. Only uncle John did not mean it.
 Harry, you see, called me up late Thursday after Hilda had left for the afternoon to tell about uncle Johns telegram. He was coming that night and Harry said he would bring him out if I said so-and of course l did for dinner
 Sudden things always stir me up GreaGfully and I flew around for two hours, getting things ready, till my head swims even yet.
 'I set the table and managed every thing down to the salad before any thing went wrong. The lettuce the grocer had sent was wilted and old and impossible. There was nothing to do but go out for more, for 1t was too late to trust to an order by telephone. So 1 went in rush. l had to go to two places before I found any lettuce that would do, and finally l got back to find that l had left my key inside. l all but screamed then, for I knew how hopeless it was to look for jani- tor on Thursday afternoon. But 1 be- gan the hunt--going into strange base rents that proved as dark and empty as tom1s.
 Il was all but desperate when I thought of the burglar-our burglar. He had entered through the transom over the kitchen door, you know, be- cause our stepladder was on the back porch and handy. The transom was open, knew, so finally hurried home and up the back stairs to our floor. Hilda had been washing the windows and had left the ladder out there, though l had told her repeatedly never to Go 1t again. So I blessed her for
The Prescott daily news., 1910-05-24
l GOOD DRUG STORE
 TO TRADE AT

Hesterly's is a good place, end enjoys the patronage of very particular people in ev- cry section. Why shouldn't it? Our stock is complete; the qualities are highest, and the prices absolutely the lowest consistent with the quality sold.
The Prescott daily news., 1910-05-24

On account of District Land Congress Picnic to be held at Highland, Ark, June 11th, the Prescott and Northwestern Rail road Co.,, will sell tickets from all stations to-Highland, Arkan sas, at one fare for the round trip. Tickets will be on sale June l0th and 1lth, good return
 ing up to and including June 12.
The Prescott daily news., 1910-05-24
Cleaning and Pressing.

Would appreciate d share ol your patronage. Two years m tailor shop of Arkansas Dear Mute Institute.
 Edwin Cochran, Phone 2oo.
The Prescott daily news., 1910-05-24
Local News.

Ed Barefield will test your eyes free.
 Tom Boswell, of Glenville, spent last night in Prescott.
 Walter Murrah left this morn. ing on business stay at Mur- freesboro.
 Miss Elmer Agee, of Gurdon, is the guest of the family of Rev. w. A. Steele.
 The delinquent tax list for Nevada county will appear in tomorrow S News.
 We are glad to see Ed Barefield able to be up town this afternoon after weeks Hines.
 We regret to learn of the ill ness of Miss Lola Wilson, and trust for her rapid recovery.
 For sale at a bargain-a good family horse and second hand surrey. Sam T. White.
 County Clerk Joe A. Bailey returned this morning from a visit to his parents at Willisville.
 Among the features of the picnic Friday, will be game of ball between the school boys and the team at Emmet.
 MT. and Mrs. z. w. Bailey, of Willisville, left yesterday for Oklahoma, where they will spend the summer with relatives.
 The Prescott ball team will go to Bluff Springs, this county, Saturday where they will engage with the team of that place in game.
 For Sale-My residence prop. erty on West Front street. Two blocks from depot. Seven room house, three lots. Apply to Mrs. D. E. Andrews.
 The Holiness meeting at the court house V Fl continue another week. the interest having in creased to the point where the managers considered it advisable to protract.
 M. w. Greeson is responsible for the statement that comet is plainly visible in the western sky about 3 o'clock in the morning. He says he has seen it for the past two consecutive mornings, ana that It IS pldln to the naked eye
 Lightning struck w. l.. Come vey's residence at Lewisville Monday night, the bolt setting fire to the pillow in the room in which MT. Connevey was sleep ing, but he sustained no injuries. The corner of the room was struck and splintered and the bed moved two feet from where it stood. All the windows in the room were broken and most of the shingles were knocked off the house.
The Prescott daily news., 1910-05-24
As They Do at Dinner Time.

'I want this floor repaired from the parlor to the dining room" said the housewife to the tramp carpenter
 "Yes'm, but when do get some thing to eat?"
 When you repair the dining room"
The Prescott daily news., 1910-05-24

Did you ever hear cf man who married a women to reform her?
The Prescott daily news., 1910-05-24
For Sale.

1 four room house and lot cheap for cash. Sec me quick.
 Tom Scott.
The Prescott daily news., 1910-05-24
REDUCED RATES
St. Louis. Iron Mountain & Southern

St. Louis. Iron slOun' ain & Southern
 Little Rock and return, $3.9O: May P, 23 and 24; good return ing May 3lst: account of Inter- state Cotton Seed Crushers As sociation.
 Atlanta, Ga, and return S24. 90 account National Baptist Sunday School Congress. Tickets on sale May p, 23 and 24th, good for returning June lst.
 lronton, Mo-, and return S14.25 account Mississippi Valley Land and Industrial Congress. Tick. cts on sale May 23, 24 and o5th, good returning ten days from date of sale.
 Helena, Ark, and return SS. 50 account A rkansas Travellers As. sociation. Tickets on sale June 1, ? and 3rd, good for returning June 9th.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1910-09-11
GALLERY GODS
Will TAKE NOTICE
Three Policemen VIII be Stationed
in the "Roost' of the Grand
Hereafter to Maintain
Order.
WILL BE PROSECUTED
Any One cat-callins or Anything
Else UngentIemanIy Will Suffer
for it--Babies Stay at
Home.

Police Commissioner Gray has in
structed Chief Schevers to have three
Gay officers present at each perfor
nance to be given at the Grand opera
house hereafter at night. The day Of
scers who are naturally off duty in
the evenings. will have the pleasure
of attending the dramas, comic operas
and what-nots of the stage world as
they come in succession during the
fall and winter months of the year
Owing to the fact that night patrol
men have plenty of duties to attend
to asides from attending the theatre
at night, it has fallen to the lot of the
day blue coats to keep peace and or
der in the gallery of the Grand
Commissioner Gray stated yester-
day that any one creating disturb
ance in the gallery would be immed-
I lately evicted by the officers, taken
to the police station and prosecution
| against the offenders instituted the
/ following morning If the person or
| persons guilty of creating nuisance
| in the theatre are unable to furnish
| bond, for their appearance, they will
be locked up and given chance to
spend night behind grated doors to
/ think over their malign actions. Oft
times in the past, acts OF gallery
gods" that have been reprehensible
have gone unpublished but the police
intend to take hold and assist Man
ager Worley in keeping order in his
/ house
Not until Manager Morley agreed
to surrender all rights to interfering
| with police in the election of person
guilty of creating q disturbance would
| Commissioner Gray agree 81 give the
services of three of his patrolmen to
the house.
Crying Babies Must stay Home.
Babes in arms won't be allowed in
the opera house hereafter, was the
word from the theatre management
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1910-09-11

this morning, which puts ban on the
appearance of al infants that must
be held, appearing at a play.
An example of this was shown the
other evening when "Ishmael" was
the attraction at the Grand Just at
most thrilling part of the perfor-
nance, the crescendo of a Youngsters
wall could be heard over the house,
OF course such cases are emparrass-
ing to parents and annoying to those
who wish to enjoy a play. so the best
thing to do is to leave the toodlums
at home.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1910-09-11
VOsE PIANOS

To fill the vacancy, our old friend Pat
Wright has been signed, and will work
with indicator in hand in this after
Moons fray between Kewanee and
keokuk. The twin discharge is not
much of surprise. Nugent's work
has been anything but satisfactory.
Saturday he was sent to Hannibal to
relieve Horn. The report is that he
reached Hannibal and saw dark clouds
looming up, SO he decided to beat it.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1910-09-11

and makes you feel better, stronger
and more vigorous than before That
is what Foley Kidney Pills do for
you, in all cases of backache, head
ache, nervousness, loss OF appetite.
sleeplessness and general weakness
that is caused by any disorder of the
kidney or bladder Wilkinson & Co.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1910-09-11

s1.S57.13 500, 1901 s22,o4414
July inc. 2o,245.2o 3o,O11.72 5o,25692
$22,1o2.33 s5o,1ss 70 s72,3o1 Oe
Bal in bank Sept. /, 1910. s1s,111ss
April to
Outstanding warrants
Old account ..... ~. $ 1929
Current expense ..... 5.1oS.S5
Total ...... ..... $5.6o1 .s5
o. w. SANDBERG.
City Clerk
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1910-09-11

for the rest of the season, which
means only a week. Belt has not
been consulted, but Burch will like
ly be allowed this privilege.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1910-09-11
Financial Statement of City Clerk
sandbers Shows Over $4,000
in Bank at the Present
Time.
RECEIPT, DISBURSEMENT
Money Being Expediently and Notice
ably Discussed In Various De-
partments and Receipts
Thrive.

Those claiming civism In Keokuk
will be interested in the financial
statement for the month of August,
prepared by City Clerk o. w. Sand
berg in accordance with the system
of itemizing the accounts of the var.
ious departments coming under the
citys Jurisdictions and dealing with
both incoming and outgoing finances.
When the commissioners entered of.
fee the first of April, Keokuk was IN
dsbt pretty nearly $4,000 Today a
bank account netting from all. depart
nents a total of s1s.11136 is on hand
A substantial building up of the dozen
Or more funds Is noted. Follows Clerk
Sandberg's statement:
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1910-09-11
Fridays Game.

Blue Jacket held Hannibal to five
hits. while Keokuk hit opportunity and
scored the second shutout against
Forneys men. The score:
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1910-09-11
WHEN MERIT WINS.

When the medicine you takes cures
your disease, tones up your system
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1910-09-11

The game at. Hannibal was called
early to allow Keokuk to catch an
early train home, and the team ar
rived in Keokuk at 7.2o.
Burch will probably pitch the
game this afternoon. He has asked
to be allowed to return to his home
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1910-09-11

Umpire Nugent got cold feet and has
peen bounced by the Central Associa-
tlon boss, Along with him goes Casey
horn, who departed Hannibal Friday
night, following meteoric experience
N the keokuk-Hannibal game, and
spent the night in hiding in Quincy