davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-05-05
Pretty Absentminded.

\ book about George Canning and his friends contains among its anec- dotes two which deal with Hookhan Frere and the absentmindedness for which he was noted. Frere married Lady Errol, and while they were en- gagged he took her into supper at 8 ball. While they were talking he drank up the glass of wine he had poured out for her and then took her back supperless to the ballroom. After the wedding he went straight from che church to Mir. Murray, the pub fisher, who asked him to stay to din ner. to which he very nearly agreed, remembering only just in time that Lady Errol was waiting to start op the honeymoon"
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-05-05
The Gnu In the Zoo.

They've got gnu in the zoo y<s . new gnu. That Is to say. no one ever knew 1t there before. When 1t arrived It had very little coat. Consequently 1t was in state of gnudity; hence, this new ditty we ana composing on the subject. But now 1t Is no longer gnude. That new gno knew some thing and grew . new coat for tho rold weather. If some people knew what that new Nubian gnu knew. they would keep their hair on.--London Scraps
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-05-05
,n the Hands of the Law.

An lmpeeunious young lawyer re gently received the following lette. from a tailor to whom he was in. aebted:
 Dear Sir-Kindly advise me by return mail when may expect a remittance from you in settlement of my account Yours truly, J. SNIPPEM. The folloWer of Blackstone immedi Ately replies:
 Dear Sir-I have your request for ae vice of . recent date and beg leave te say that not having received any retain or from you. cannot act in the premises Upon receipt of your check for $250 shah be very glad to look the matter up for you and to acQuaint you with the results of my Investigations. am, sir. with great respect. your most obedient servant
 BARCLAY B. COKE Success Magazine.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-05-05

ANTED AN ACTIVE SALESMAN To sell town lots. 150 residence lots in DeQueen, Ark, located to l0 blocks of Court House. These lots are all we'll situated. Not rough no rocks. All lay back from R. K. and shops. DeQueen has 4,500 pop. ?. R. R. divisions and shops. A half million oil and gas pumping station. About 50 lots set full of bearing FL berta peach and pear trees. Sey- eral buildings. Three new ones. This is no scheme but proposition that will hear the closest investiga- tion. Would exchange part or all for clear income property on account of my age. 1 desire the service of active salesman. References Bank of DeQueen.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-05-05
Scotch Rroffs.

We have decided" said the head c1 Glasgow firm, ito conduct our bust ness in future on the profit sharing principle. We shall begin at once OF the basis of last years results"
 We are delighted to hear it" replied the foreman, speaking for the men May we ask what were the las. years results?''
 we lost a thousand pounds" said the employer. "and. therefore. on tht profit sharing principle. there will he . reduction of 10 per cent in yon' wages. Advertiser
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-05-05
importance of Towels.

Do you fully realize the importance of the vowel ''e" in English? The in scription, "Prsrvyprfctmnvrkpthsprcp tstn." over the Decalogue in an Eng lish country church puzzled people for 200 years. Pepper 1t properly with ''e's" and you may read, Preserve. ye perfect men; ever keep these preceps ten" Easy, isn't it7-Boston Globe.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-05-05
Stood Up For Him.

Dolan-So Casey was runnin' me down an ye stood up for me? Gala han-Oi did. Od sig to him, Casey siz Oi, we're honest an truthful an ye're no coward, an ye work hard an pay yer dibtA an ye don't get drunk an lick yer wolfe, but in other re spects ye're no better than Dolan!"- puck
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-05-05
Her Hands Full.

Poor woman: she has scarcely tiu" to eat and sleep"
 "Nonsense! Why. she is rich an.' has no duties whatever"
 "But she tells me she reads all the latest novels. Leader
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-05-05
Modest Modern Man.

Whatever may be said of the modern man. he cannot be said to be lacking in modesty. While the ancients did their utmost to prove that they issued from the gods. we do our best to demon strate that we have descended frum monkeys.-Paris Journal
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-05-05
Eaxors.

Stella-What were the favore at her dinner? Bella-Wel. ell the guests thought they did her a favor by con. ing. and she thought they did Der . favor by leaving.-New York Sun.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-05-05
Not Quite So Bad.

Polly Prim-They tell me you are [ dissipated young man. Now. suv. pose you nsvsr see the sun riss.i JacA 1ava1ds-No; don't stay ID Ou11l tt late-PhfsdelpAis aocoU1
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-05-05
Merely Local.

Young Thomas. afflicted with . grseL apple pain In his midst thus explained his condition to his mother: "MotAae, 1Ve got an awful bad pain risAt b tAs middle of my stomach. but tAs Ioet of me 6oels Anei"-LAppineuttS.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-05-05
Wanted.

D-YOUNG MAN WILLING to work and capable of quick pro- motion. Apply No. 104 Pine street.
 3 St.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-05-05

b thAs vslG - n.st ls . na,> - M 0 0 HAl 1ns1oA-alnGe
 ssIf.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-05-05
DO YOU WANT
 A LOAN :?

We have a large amount of money to loan on Pine Bluff Real Estate, at the lowest rate Of interest. We can make you loan for one, two, three, four CT five years, or on monthly payments. The company which we represent for monthly pay ment loans is not building & Loan Association, but a high class mortgage company. We guarantee satisfaction. You will be safe when you do busi- ness with us.
The San Francisco call., 1910-06-05
Ten dollars week paid for these stories s5 for the best
the Others 81 or more Send the funniest stories you know
postcards to Editor Funny Sde P O. Box 1884, New York.

CARDS No MANI KErtKNEDj
Pauline attending school for almost tell
question
quickly:
all of the class LIS afternoon
Why say?'
in
E. Georgia Memphis Tenn.
her be
God watching wherever L without
MACMLIEN spnngli Nova Scotia
The San Francisco call., 1910-06-05
The Funny Sides Funny Stories

MAILED FOLLOWING FuBn
Johnny had severely prmanded by his father for continually
a
paernal the
uon straight to bed
Next day while preacher was visiting he said to Johnny
little Sunday
urecite someth
ysaid:
It.,
his creditors
to
your time u
answered the debtor, IN
r. renhn uampeche Mexico
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1910-09-09
IMPROVED AND ADEQUATE
VENTILATION FOR STABLE
Illustration Shows How Air Is Pumped From Building a,
All Times, Regardless of Direction In
Which Wind Is Blowing

The usual method Of stable ventila-
ton is to place flues with outlets ter
minating In a shaft through the roof
and surmounted by a plain cupola or
cover with a cap a foot or so above
the opening. The idea in the latter
case is that the wind will blow be-
tween the cap and the top of the shaft
as shown at B in the illustration here
with, says American Agriculturist.
This method tends TO increase the
flow OF vitiated air from the stable
and thus aid the ventilation, pure air
coming in from inlet f1ues placed at
somewhat remote points from the out
let's.
Whether this method is fully salts
factory is not certain, for at times
when the wind is gusty the vitiated
air Is forced back into the stable in
stead Of being drawn out, and often
snow and sleet are drawn down the
shaft. To overcome the uncertain
working of this kind of shaft, as we'll
as other disadvantages of the plain
cupola, the style of cupola shown at
G with sides opening in the direction
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1910-09-09

ven ilat;on is concerned. the principal
point is the retention of wind force to
assist in ventilation when only the ami.
NAL heat in the stable is available to
produce ventilation. The assistance OF
the wind is of great service and should
be taken advantage of as much as pos
sible. A method Of securing this adj.
vantage is shown in the large picture
herewith. AS the ventilator shaft ter
inmates in a square. rather high Gu.
pola twice the size Of the shaft. Open.
ings of reasonable size are made oppo'
site each other in the walls of this GU
pola and in line with the prevailing
winds, as shown at a. Doors are made
to fit these openings. connected as
shown at b and hung from a crosspiece
below the roof of the cupola. Near the
bottom of the cupola are two or three
holes about 2 inches in diameter de.
pending on the size of the cupola. The
ventilator shaft as shown at c extends
above these openings but terminates
slightly below the larger ventilator
openings.
In operation, the door closes as
shown at a on the right. and opens on
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1910-09-09

the left; at the same time a current OF
air passes in on the right at e and as
shown by the arrows passes out on the
left, at the same time drawing a cur
rent Of air through the ventilating
shaft at c. The same object would be
secured if the wind blew from the op,
posite direction. It is important that
the cupola be divided into two sections
as shown at d SO that the wind can.
not pass directly across from the hole
G to the opposite side. If desired, four
compartments may be made as shown
at G sc that the wind may be admitted
on two sides of the cupola so that
there would be suction tt this draft,
no matter from what direction the
wind might come.
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1910-09-09
He Had No Eve for Color.

There came to the home of a Negro
in Tennessee an addition to the fam
lily in the shape of trirlets. The proud
father hailed the first nan who came
along the road and asked him in to
see them. The man, who vas an Irish
man, seemed greatly interested in the
infants as he looked them over, lying
in a row before him.
What does yo' Think" asked the
parent.
"Waul"-pointing to the n in the
middle-"T think I'd save that one
l1verybOdy's Magazine.
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1910-09-09
sian Of Recovery.


IF when the devil is sick a monk
he will be-" said Rose Stahl sagely,
then the devil gets we'll in double
quick time. Witness that young 'divil
with the ladies' my kid cousin. Last
winter he was i'll, SO i'll he didn't have
any sense of humor left nor any sense
either. / was staying at the same no.
tel, and when l went in to look after
him he virtuously remarked that his
DON was no place for a Chorus Lady
and promptly shooed me out. ca few
years ago l spanked that kidd Then
he got scared and sen for a doctor
and the docto. sent for a trained
nurse. For several days l got bulle'
tins of his progress from the cham
bermaid. The fourth morning she set
my mind completely at rest.
"'Sure, ma'am,' said Maggie, AN ]
think he do be gettin' along very we'll.
The nurse was sittin' on his lap this
mornin'!'"
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1910-09-09
On Some Ministers.

The worst O. these here shepherds
Is, my boy, that they reg'larly turns
the heads of all the young ladies
about here. Lord bless their little
hearts, they think it's all right, and
don't know no better; but they're the
victims O. CANNON, Samivel. they're
he victims O. CANNON. Nothin' else.
and wot aggregates me, Samivel, is
to e 'em awastin' all their time and
labor in making clothes for c%opper-col-
ored people as don't want 'em and TAX
ing no notice of flesh-colored Chris
tians as do. If I'd my way. Samivel.
Id just stick some O. these here lazy
shepherds behind a heavy wheel-bar-
row., and run 'em up and down a
l4-inch plank all day. That 'ud shake
the nonsense out Of 'em, if anythin'
vould.-Mr. Weller, Quoted by Charles
Dickens.
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1910-09-09

Of the prevailing winds and covered
with doors hinged at the top but
swinging freely, has been used with
success When there is no wind the
doors hang so that the cupola is partly
open on each side, but as shown in the
illustration. when the wind blows from
the right, the door on that side is
closed by the force of the wind. The
other side, however, is open and there
is always a chance fo- the stable air
to pass out and no chance for rain or
sno to blow down the shaft. If de-
sired, doors a be placed on all four
sides Of the cupola.
Though this arrangement is salts
factory SO far as removing outdoor in
tluences from the interior system of
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1910-09-09

that it takes a certain time for the
germs when dropped on the gras: e
develop enough to get to the lambs.
That time is estimated to be from
eight to IL days. We know that the
lambs are born free from parasites.
We know that it is possible to keep
the mothers quite free from parasites
before the lambs are dropped.
BY putting what facts we know to
gether we can readily see that if we
change pastures frequently, say every
eight to - days. We will lessen the
danger of the lambs becoming in.
fected with these germs through the
grass that they consume. Some OF
the highest authorities advise allow,
ing the lambs to run ahead of the
ewes and moving the ewes one pas.
ture ahead each week. thus the ewes
and lambs are changed every week.
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1910-09-09
CHANGE SHEEP
PASTURE OFTEN
Breeders Must Practice Method
OF Dividing Into Small Lots
If Ewes and Lambs
Kept Healthy.
(By w. NJ. Kelley

y " NJ
The more l study the sheep bust
ness and the more carefully | note
the results of my own experience and
observation. the more | am coming to
appreciate the frequent change Of
pastures for the ewes and lambs. It
costs money to change our system of
pssturing sheep and divide our pas
lures up into small lots, but we must
practise this method If we succeed in
in keeping our sheep and lambs free
from stomach worms.
frorc. the sheep to the lambs through
tina grass that is eaten. We know
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1910-09-09
Mrs. Wiqqin's Idea of London.

During the recent visit of Mrs. Wig
gin, the American author, In London,
an interviewer called on her. With
pencil poised, the interviewer asked:
And what do you think of London,
Mrs. Wiggin?"
You remind me-" answered the au
thor c%heerfully, "of the young lady
who sat beside DR.. Gibbon at dinner.
She turned to him after the soup.
"'Do, dear DR.. Gibbon,' she said, tell
me about the decline and fall of the
Roman empire"
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1910-09-09
A Fake Camera.

"Yonder is a beach camera fiend,"
said the first bathing girl. They are
disgusting, l think.
This one is particularly disgusting"
declared the second bathing girl.
after | had posed all morning for his
benefit, he ate his lunch from that
box"
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1910-09-09
In the Suburb.

What beautiful public building is
that?"
THAT isn't a public building. It's
OF. man Savitt's summer cottage"
And whose neat little cottage is that
over there with the tower on it? That
little %one-story frame affair.""
That isn't a cottage. It's the First
Episcopal church."-Life.
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1910-09-09

Milk, eggs and macaroni should be
substituted in place OF meat as often
as possible, as any food containing
fat is a heat producer.
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1910-09-09

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup.
dammatiOn, allayS pain. cures wind collie. 25c . bottle.
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1910-09-09

Isn't is shocking when you hear
nice man complain of anything?
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1910-09-09

Her Little Brother-Say, are you
goin' ter marry my sister Bess?
Her Suitor-Why, er-er-er don't
know.
Her Little BrOther-Well, you are. l
heard her tell pop she was goin' ter
land you tonight.
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1910-09-09

"Having taken your wonderful Casca.
rets' for three months and being entirely
l think a word of praise is due to
'Cascarets' for their wonderful compost
ton. I have taken numerous other so
called remedies but without avail, and I
find that Cascarets relieve more in a day
than all the others I have taken wouldiu
a year" James McGune,
1o8 Mercer St., Jersey City, NJ.
Pleasant. Palatable. Potent. Taste Good.
Do Good. Never Sicken. Weaken or Gripe.
1Oc. 25c. Soc. Never sold In bulk. The gen.
uine tablet stamped CCC. Guaranteed to
cure or your money back. 9l9
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1910-07-28
LET THE PUBLIC DISCUSS PRO-
POSED MEASURES.

The people of Vermont saw how
helpful was the publication in advance
Of the State republican convention Of
the tentative platform prepared by the
committee on resolutions, selected by
the members Of tho State committee.
It enabled the public to note what
was proposed and to change various
propositions which under the old plan
would have been adopted with little
attention. AS result the present
platform is unqucstionably more truly
representative Of public opinion so far
MS II goes than any other platform
adopted in years,
Another excellent proposition which
will bo led to the public discussion in
advance of the session OF the Legis-
lature Of various proposed measures
is made to the Rutland News as fol-
lows.
III. b. Barden OF Wallingford. repub-
lican candidate for senator from Rut-
land county, makes n valuable sug-
gestion to his fellow senators TO be-
elected and also to the members o.
| the lower house. Its effect is that aftel
election and before the meeting Of TIT
Con ernl Assembly In October, a gener
al conference OF the senators and rep
resentatives be held in Rutland, to tall
over informally some of tho principa
motters for possible legislation at tn
forthcoming session. determine wher
they stand on the questions ana II pos
sible agree as to the line Of action I
be taken. 1t Is proposed to have thi
conference open to the public and t
invite the suggestions and views @
Governor Mead and ascertain wha
measures no will favor II passed b
the General Assembly.
Gin word. the conference pro
posed by Mr.. Barden would be a eau
Gus In advance OF the members of tn
next General Assembly, regardless {
their party affiliations. In order to es
pedite legislation on important aue'
lions when the Legislature actuall
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1910-07-28
ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY TO1 YER
MONT.

1t is announced by the reclamation
service IN Washington that thousands
Of American families who have g/nc
to the Can adam northwest from differ
ent parts of New England, as we'll as
other parts of tho country, under the
lure Of the Dominion's fascinating i'm
migration bureau, are returning to the
United States. Many moro are plan
ming to come back later on. and the
tide OF migration has plainly turned.
Representatives of the reclamation
service who have talked with return
ing migrants quote them as saying
| that practically every American farm
| er in tho neiEhhorhoood of Alberta,
where the Canadian government main
tains an irrigation project, was anx-
| ious to get back If he could sell his
holdings in tho Dominion.
The American settlers We're dissat-
the crops from which. they alleged,
consisted principally cf alfalfa and
such hardy grains as winter wheat,
and even these were not sure. The
form of government did not appeal to
them, and they considered the railroad
freight rates exorbitant. The climate
also was source of dissatisfaction,
ice and snow in August and September
of last year adding to their discom-
fort
In the last nine months. it was said
at the reclamation service Offices. nf
form Canada. and the prospect for q
general backward movement was
bright
Vermont needs a large number Of
families to help cultivate many hum
dreds of acres in this State, which are
so neglected that they may practically
be said to be going to waste. In some
sections of the state many farms are
not producing one quarter of their
help, which Is one of our most crying
needs, and thousands of acres In Yer
mont are Just SKINNED over while
those operating them exc ont scanty
existence.
Some of these farms are occupied
by families who will never develop
them, and II energetic families would
get hold Of such farms, many Of which
can be had at bargain. our agricul
tural conditions would be material!
changed at the end Of FIVE or ten years
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1910-07-28

THE WEEKLY FREE PRESS. .
vents per copy. 60 cents for six moh'n''
800 per year. postage paid.
Advertisements and subscriptions TO
reived at the office. 1ss College stree!
gull advertising rates sent on appiicA'
lion.
Accounts cannot be opened TOT sun
ycriptions. Subscribers will please re-
nit with order. Names are not entere"
until payment is received. ana III
papers are stopped at the end OF 'he
4ime paid for.
Remittance at tho risk Of the SUD
ecriber unless made by registered iet-
Ear, or bv check or postal order pay
able to the publishers.
The date when the subscripuon eN
pires II on the address label OF eacn
paper, the change Of which 70 seip'
bequent date becomes n receipt Tor re-
mittance No other receipt II sent un
less requested. Tho receipt OF the
paper is a sufficient receipt for the nrs'
subscription.
When a change Of address is desired
both the old and new addresses sho"ie
be given.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1910-07-28
THE NEXT SPEAKER.

The Morrisville News and Citizen
pays deserved tribute to a deserving
man when it says:
Joseph A. DeBoer announces that
he will not be candidate for repre-
sentative. That being the case. the
speakership. which would have gone
TO him without contest. will be
sought by many. Where is the best
man?'
One OF the most influential and
therefore the most important offices
lhis year will be that of speaker of
he House Of Representatives. 1t Is
timely to begin now to consider the
Qualities desired in the man selected
cor this position. before n canvass for
the honor has begun, for it is posi-
ole to discuss the matter now with
out rejecting on any candidate or as
.Sirant.
The House is the branch of the
Legislature which originates all reve-
nue. measures as we'll as much other
Important legislation. It directly repre-
cases being chosen at least in theory.
directly by the voters Of the different
towns.
The man these representatives Sc
lect for the speakership has more to
do with shaping legislation than even
the governor, for he names all the
committees OF the House In addition
to influencing the course of events
after the work of legislation has be-
gun.
= 1t is therefore thoroughly esscntia
that the speaker be man who has
4 the backbone as well as the desire ant
the determination to adopt as hi:
standard OF measure of every quest Tor
the true interests Of the people as
whole. or ae formulated by publicists
the greatest good Of the greatest mum
Der. which means the same thing.
The legislator who will keep hi
eye single to the interests of the com
monwealth az whole is the prim,
need of the people OF Vermont thu
year, especially in the speakers chair
The opportunity for genuine publ
service in this position was neve
greater than at the present time, an
the right man, whom the people ca
trust as speaker, will win enviabl
prestige,
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1910-07-28
WHO STOLE 'EM.

It happened at a little town near the
center OF the state. a farmer had one
OF his neighbcrs arrested for stealing
ducks, and the leading lawyer or tho
town was employed by the accused TO
endeavor to convince the court that
such was not the case. The plaintiff was
positive that his neighbor was guilty.
because he had seen tho ducks In the
defendants yard.
"How do YOU know they were your
ducks?" asked the lawyer.
ooh. I should know my own ducks any
where.' replied the farmer; and he gave
description of their various pecn'iari-
ties whereby ne could readily distinguish
them from others.
"Why," said the lawyer. "th"se ducks
can't he OF such rare breed. have some
Just like them In my own yard"
'rhats not at all unlikely" replied tn
farmer. "for they are not the only ducks
| have had stolen lstely,-Cosmopolitan