davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-28

From the Louisville Courier J Journal.
 Certain disciples of Gambrinus at Gary, the made -order city" have fancied recently there was something wrong with their beer. So many cases of beer sickness were occurring that some of those who suffered therefrom sent number of samples of the amber liquid to the Indiana health department for analysis. The health officials made the analysis. but found nothing amiss with the beer. It was the regulation malt liquor such as Is sold and con- sumed at Gary and elsewhere.
 It is probable that it is the quantity rather than the quality of the beverage that is causing the beer sickness at Gary. Instances are not infrequent where persons who misjudge their ca pacity for consumption experience tenn porary illness. The old story of the thirsty Celt who found man lying helplessly intoxicated by the roadside is applicable. After gazing contempla- lively on the fallen Individual the Celt remarked. Be Jasus, I wish I had half your disease" Half the disease" at Gary might prove to be a satisfactory solution of the problem of beer sick ness.
 Josh Billings once said that while some people claimed that beer was non intoxicating, he could manage to get so drunk on 1t that he didn't know the ten commandments from the by laws of a baseball club. The indica- tions are that the troubled citizens at Gary are suffering from over confidence in the notwithstanding qualities of the beer that Is sold in that booming and blooming village. An old negro fisher man of long experience once explained to a fellow angler that fish berries and similar dope" had no effect on mullet- heads, because mullet-heads ain't got no brains" It may be that there are mullet-heads of humanity who are proof against the exhilarating effects of beer but individuals who possess brains will do well to put a limit on bibulous indulgence, if they wish to escape beer sickness.
 Until recently Gary was nominally dry town" Having voted for irri- gation it is stated in the dispatches that 300 saloons are to be opened at the earliest possible. moment. The rush for locations Is so great that saloons are being built on stilts out In Lake Michigan and others are being fitted up on houseboats. As there will be one saloon for about every 66 inhabitants according to the latest estimates of Gary's population, it may be confident ly expected that there will be an in crease of beer sickness. It will be the same old kind, however. and there need be no occasion for calling on the In- diana health department to explain it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-28
Many Overlooked in the Census

This week only is to be given to the Has yours been counted? This is a question every citizen should ask him. self in earnest. If you have not been federal building in this city of the over sight today. or. at the furthest, tomor- row Write to Mr Bass not later than tomorrow noon. This is important, be- cause there is no other way provided for reetifying an oversight.
 At this writing there are thousands of men, women and children in this city who have not been counted. They can be found in every quarter of the city, and on every hand Many begin to won eer what Supervisor McEniry's enumer- ators have been doing in the days of the counting.
 Possibly they found people in excess of all antioipations and estimates. Possibly they will yet wind up their work in a satisfactory manner, but no opportunity for official overlooking should be taken. Every family and every lone citizen who is amounted tomorrow noon should go to MT. Bass office in the government building. or else he should write him a letter of complaint. His address is Thomas [. Bass, Government Building. Birmingham." A letter is the preferable way. for if all who will have been over looked on Friday noon go to MT. Bass office the street will become blocked and no one will gain hearing.
 The true way is to write MT. Bass at once and then if no census taker ap- pears write him again on Friday noon. The line should be drawn at the merid- ian hour tomorrow. Insist then on be- ing counted, or know the reason why.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-28
READING TO AVOID THINKING

From the New York Evening Sun.
 The danger of thinking has been re- duced to a minimum. One sometimes feels that life has been arranged in sole regard to this. There are more ways to avoid thinking that there are to avoid every thing else put together. Some people live to a good old age without having ever thought; some are overtaken and made to stand face to face with their thoughts during a long illness and convalescence Flat on their backs, with nothing to do, they can hardly be blamed for thinking. Their cases are exceptional and thoughts at such time are not to be laid up against them. If there is no other mode of escape from an introduction to one's mind they can always read. It is a method which has helped millions of peo- pie. There was a time when it seemed that during a voyage one was in danger of being left alone with one's self, but libraries were installed in ships, newsboys on trains, and so once more we were res- cued. Then the dozen little activities of daily life help so-bustling, sewing on buttons-one manages to put off the thing we think we do most of all until old age, and when that is reached we comfortably decide to postpone our thinking once again, as we will have more time in the next world.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-28
LIFTED HIS HAT TO HER

From McClure's Magazine.
 At Salsomaggiore there was laundress who had always enjoyed the patronage Of the Duke or the Abr izzi whe never he carle there to taNs fife cure on his re- titrn f, om one of il g exled;t'ons. The duke. Of course, knew nothing about this matter, which was aticnCed ( by his chauffeur valet. No", for some reason, of which I am ignorant, the servant had taken a notion to change laundresses; hence great humiliation on the part of the good little woman, who, naturally, prized her celebrated patron. What was she to do? She wanted :o get an explana- ton of the matter, at any rate; so one day she placed hersels on the road where the duke was to pass. When he came up she said to him: Your highness is no longer satisfied viti, your former laundress?' "Who said sop "Why, your highness no longer sends me his linen, and I am very unhappy about It." My poor child,' exclaimed the prince, T knew nothing about it! Come with me, and we will settle the matter out of hand" t" The duke ordered his chauffeur to send his linen to bis usual laundress In the future, an1 when sine narrated the incident 10 me Gor I was also one of her patrons), she added enthusiastically; And he isn't a bit proud, is our duke. for he is the first man who ever lifted his hat to me-"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-28
High Cost of Living

Before the House committee enga sed In Investigating the high cost of living evidence was introduced on Tuesday that should attarct the attention of all con- sumers in all parts of the country. In the first place Chairman Moore, a Penn sylvania republican, laid before the com mittee copies of letters passing between wholesalers and retailers disclosing a combination in the handling of articles of food that abolishes all competition that is not satisfactory" to the writers of the letters.
 And then Dr. William c. Woodward health officer of the District of Colum- bia, told of short-weiglt bread flour ano other necessares of life. Col w. C. Haskell, superintendent of weights and measures, was then called to the stand and he testified that every one of the sN.o00 barrels of flour sold in Washing
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-28
First Day of the Reunion

What a, ehivalric spectacle that was when the general officers present at the Twelfth Confederate reunion passed in review before "a slender, black-clad, frightened girl'' with uncovered heads, kissing her hand tenderlyl That young girl was Lucy White Hayes, the grand daughter of the only President of the Confederacy. It was indeed a spectacle that should be presented to future gen. erations on canvass, and it calls for the best work of the best artists. Miss Hayes stands the representative in direct descent of Jefferson Davis, and as such she will no doubt be honored while the old sol diers can attend reunions, and by their sons and daughters all the rest of the days of her life. To the heroism of the titanic conflict will thus be welded the chivalry that is inborn in southern man hood.
 On this same first day of the Mobile re- union, too, Gen. Clement A. Evans, com mander-in -chief of the United Confederate veterans, made known the fact that he could not again accept the honor of lead- ership. No doubt this decision is due to advancing years, and it is the beginning of evidence that the organization of old soldiers can not much longer be main tained. Soon, alas, these men who won immortal glory on southern battlefelds against threefold. oftentimes fourfold, odds will have passed away, and their sons and daughters will be left to pre- serve the memory of the historic strug- gle in which their yalor shook a con- tinent.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-28

ton was short four pounds of the adver-
 tised weight. and that washingtonians
 were paying annually $42OOO for flour which they never received. Other items were in proportion. he said. Nearly ev- cry package sold in grocery stores is short four ounces, according to the in vestigation of his officers. Colonel Has kell said bottled goods were short in quantity also.
 These statements are not mere hearsay. They are statements made by officials under oath. What is true of Washing ton is true, no doubt, of every other city Of the land. Not even Birmingham is exceptional, and the question arises, What is to be done about short weights and measures in this city in package goods? This question is up to the City Council
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-28
BUSINESS MEN AND THE PRESS

From Leslie's.
 Addressing the Federation of Church clubs of New York, Bishop Mann of North Dakota called the prominent business men before him to sharp ac- count for their attitude toward the press Calling their attention to the fact that they were large advertisers, the bishop asked. Did it ever occur to you that the call to you concerning the papers is along the line of adver- Using? Do you realize that the worst in the daily press would be eliminated if you business men would say, No ad- yertisements in that paper for mel" Bishops may not be business experts, but the bishop of North Dakota has here touched the problem on the prac- tical side which, better than any other, will solve it. If advertisers would re- fuse to patronize the sensational, un- wholesome, unclean publications, they would soon be compelled to suspend or to mend their ways Let any paper issue a number verging on coarseness and with title calculated to pique the curiosity of the salacious, and the edi- ton will be quickly exhausted and copies be had only at & premium. Let advertisers and subscribers alike give their patronage to those publications only which are striving to make their pares clean, wholesome. instructive and safe to put into the hands of every member of the family.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-28
ADDING TO THE LIST
London Receives Some Pat Phrases and
 New Terms From America

From the Queen, London.
 The Boer war gave us trek" ''maffick and '.commandeer," and the coronation the verb to "coronate." Motors and air ships are responsible for fresh express sions. The former found us to "mote," ]" "motorites,'' garage and "chauffeur,' and the latter supplied us with 'aviators,' "aeronauts" and aviation" And we are now familiar with the useful terms ''wires," phones" and "taxis."
 Then our American friends have made us a pl esent of son'o terso phraseology. When they want us 10 be punctual they tell US to be "on time,' and when they wish ..s to be quick they ask us to thus tle" And they have taught us the word 'bud" Tor a girl, waist for a blouse, and Tn liti' for a millionaire.
 All thcse are portable tcI ms but we are now burdened by their ponderous words "hotelisation" and "electrification." Then, whether for good CT IT., certain set of words have come into constant use in books and journalism. Of these are the well worn terms weird" quaint" keen" 'cherrS,' trend" "outlook'si and '';inthinkable;" ana when writing of { nrial affairs, fixture" function and "enle e;ainment.' Tho English language may be less pure than ot yore, but it has D cked up many new csinuuialisms.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-28
ROOSeVelt'S Triumphal ProereSS

The Temps Paris newspaper, declares the tour that MT Roosevelt is making "unparallelled in history" Men in high office-for example Bismarck-or kings might make such a tour, but never be- fore in the history of the world has a pri- vate citizen been so honored. There is not only no parallel case, but there is not one which approaches the Roosevelt tour in any respect.
 It is the man that is being honored, his remarkable personality. his hunt in the jungle, his efforts in the settlement of the bloody war between Russia and Japan. his career as a soldier in Cuba, the fleet he sent around the world-in short. the man whose ideas and temperament an- peal to all men in all nations.
 All Europe is greeting in an unparaI- leled manner a thorough-goinG American All believe in him. All honor him. alike in Italy, in Austria, in France, and all will honor him to the last day of his stay in Europe.
 Will this remarkable man after a year Alled with the greetings and honors of this world come back to settle down an Inactive citizen at Oyster Bay?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-28
The oratorio Society

The Birmingham Oratorio society Will meet at Cable hall tonight. Prof. Fred L. Grambs says that such members as he has seen this week have expressed themselves as heartily in favor of the the society giving a grand oratorio con- cert on a Sunday afternoon in May for the benefit of the Mulga relief fund.
 T expect to have the first rehearsal for the oratorio performance next Tues day night" said Professor Grambs. "The chorus knows the greater part of Costa oratorio. Eli and the finishing touches could be put on in three or four re- hearsas Selections from this beautiful work are what we intend to present. The Birmingham Musicians union offers the services of orchestra players free We will use an orchestra of 20 to 50 pieces
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-28
IN HOTEL HOBBIES.
nnen air Cnncerta

Ladies of the Music Study club are about to make an organized effort to raise a fund for providing free concerts in the parks during the summer. In many cities the municipal government provides summer music, but the city of Birming- ham is not able at this time to appro- pirate a sum adequate to employ a large concert band for daily concerts. If, however, considerable amount is raised by private subscriptions, the city will doubtless supplement the contributed sum by substantial appropriation.
 Open air concerts in the summer would up the city and give pleasure to all who attend.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-28
CAMPAIGNING FOR ROADS
From Harper's Weekly.

From HarperS Weeky.
 I'll never forget the night I called on the Widow Yarn. She owned 40 acres on the main road which I hoped to have improved. In practically every house in the county had been hospitably received because I was a human being. pioneer citizen. member of the Good Roads club. took me in a carriage to see the widow. 'I'I watch the horses this wise old cit- izen said.
 1T don't know what would Tighten them," suggested. but he seemed to ex- pect a brass band or some other unusual sight. although it was o'clock at night. I soon knew why he preferred to sit out there in the cold.
 Mrs. Yarn, I believe?" I began, ingrati- atingly, when the door was opened
 well" the person who stood there ob- served, i've been here 40 years; you ought to believe 1t.
 ''This." thinks to myself. lis strange
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-28
SPRING FEVER

From the Philadelphia Press.
 Languor at this time of year is a con- stitutional symptom that is almost gen. eral, and in many respectable house. holds is anticipated, even welcomed, with all the sanctity of traditional faith Grandfather and grandmother used to feel that way-tired and weak-and> all ways took a spring tonic. perhaps of birch or sassafras tea, or dttany, or swamp root, or snake root, or maybe of wine of iron, or something of even a livelier value, and mother and father keep 1t up, and so must the children. It might be well to keep them from school.
 The fact is that an active, busy man introspection or the leisurely survey of the state of his health, the tabulation of the various tenses of his moods, the fiuc- tuation of his pulse. With the change of seasons and temperature there is, of course a corresponding alteration in the physical condition and needs of men and women. It is the lazy person who des- igrates this condition as "spring fever.'' Its pathological importance is immense ing else to think about but themselves. They dignify their complaint into ca lamity, whereas a simple and reasona- ble adjustment of diet and clothing to meet the change of weather suffices any healthy. normal man, woman or child.
 Dean Swift was one of the most cyn- ical and obnoxious advisers in the his tcry of literature. but he adapted for us from the ancient Latin one memora- ble sentence full of spring wisdom "The best doctors in the world are Dr. Diet Dr. Quiet and pr. Merryman"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-28
Sense of Gratitude

"A sense of gratitude is playing large part in the contest between MT. ONeal and Colonel Mallory. the two aspirants for the goyernorship," said a citizen.
 But for AIr. O'Neal the iniquitous amendment would have been fastened on Alabama. Colonel Mallory helped to bring on the bitter amendment campaign and he still protests that the principle of constitutional prohibition was right O'Neal led the movement which defeated the obnoxious and un-American measure. As some one remarked the other day to make Colonel Mallory governor now would be as if George Washington, after having led the revolutionary army to vic tory. had been told to step aside in favor of Cornwallis.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-28

fTOIn Leslie s.
 How IT any people will Uncle Sam's census takers find in the count which began on April 15?' Where will this count place us, relatively to the other great nations?" These questions will suggest themselves to many Americans, now that the decennial enumeration date has arrived. An answer Is likely to be furnished within a few weeks. The count began earlier this time than 1t did in 1900 or in any other recent decennial year. Census Director Du- rand expects to be able to announce the total for the United States by the be- ginning of June. An aggregate of 9O,- 100000 population would be a safe guess. This would be a gain of 14,- OO0,00 since 1900, which was the same as that in the preceding ten years.
 The only countries in the world which will lead us in population are China and Russia. China's total is un- certain, because it never had a count of inhabitants. It is probably between $50. .000, 900 and 400.000,000. Russia's is 130,0o0,0 900. In point of efficiency, of
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-28

seem to have been much hurt by the cold snap. As to vegetables. the gar dens and truck patches lying on north slopes or west slopes were badly blight ed, but those having southern and east ern exposures escaped injury. Coming in on the train the passengers, includ- ing myself, were struck with the fact that the truck patches around Ems ley had not been damaged by the frost. The vegeta bles seemed to be in fine condition"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-28
Hell Telephone officials Here

Col. ". T. Gentry of Atlanta, pres ident of the Southern Bell Telephone and Telegraph company IS In Birming- ham. He Is accompanied by J. R. A. Hobson of Atlanta, general commercial superintendent; George J. Yundt of Az lanta, chief engineer, and F. l.. Wood ruff of Montgomery, division commer- cial superintendent. These officials are here on a tour of inspection and will remain until tonight
 President Gentry had not been to Birmingham for some time and he ex- pressed himself as greatly impressed with the growth of the city and the handsome Improvements in evidence.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-28
MARK TWAIN'S FINEST POEM

By Samuel Langhorne Clemens.
 In Memoriam-Olivia Susan Clemens
 Died August 1s 1896; aged 24 In fair valley-oh, how long ago, how
 long ago! Where all the broad expanse was clothed
 in vines And fruitful fields and meadows starred
 with flowers, And clear streams wandered at their idle
 will, And still lakes slept, their burnished
 surfaces A dream of painted clouds, and soft airs Went whispering with odorous breath, And all was peace-in that fair vale, Shut from the troubled world, nameless
 hamlet drowsed.
 Hard by apart, a temple stood And strangers from the outer world, Passing. noted it with tired eyes. And seeing, saw it not; A glimpse of its fair form-an answering
 momentary thrill And they passed on, careless and un-
 aware. They could not know the cunning of its
 make: They could not know the secret shut up
 in it's heart; Only the dwellers of the hamlet knew; They knew that what seemed milky sur
 faces The trailing vines, and interwoven
 flowers And tropic birds a-wing, clothed all in
 tinted fire They knew for what they were, not what
 they seemed; Encrustings all of gems not perishable
 splendors of the brush. They knew the secret spot where one
 must stand They knew the surest hour, the proper
 slant of sun To gather in, unmarred. undmmed, The vision of the fane in all its fairy
 grace, A fainting dream against the opal sky, And more than this, They knew
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-28
sETTIN,
From Judge.

A farmer was saving wood, when it occurred to him that hs ought to have the help of one or more of his five boys Lifting up his voice, he called but not a boy appeared
 At dinner. of course they all appeared, and 1t was not necessary to call them.
 Where were you all about two hours ago, when I wanted you and shouted for you?'
 T was in the shop. settin' the saw," said one.
 And I was in the barn, settin' hen," said the second
 ''I was in gran mas room. settin' the clock" said the third.
 'I was in the garret, settin the trap" said the fourth. .
 You are remarkable set!'' remarkfd the farmer. And where were you?9 heS continued turning to the youngest -4S 7s T was on the doorstep, settin still."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-28
T,d,ne. From walker County

Frank V. Evans of Jasper, editor Of the Walker County News, who came to Birmin gham yesterday as commits sioner to the North Alabama presby- tery, said last night that he felt conli- dent the fall meeting would be held in his town. The Rev. William N. Sholl, pastor of the Jasper Presbyte- rian church, has extended a cordial in. vitation to the presbytery and the ques- tion of the next place of meeting will be decided at today's session.
 "The Presbyterian church in Jasper has only a small congregations as com pared with the other churches there," said Mir Evans, but the field is invit- ing and as Jasper is growing steadily we should be able to build tip strong membership"
 In speaking of business conditions Mr Evans said:
 Jasper is enjoying high degree of prosperity. All the coal mines of Wal ker county are in operation and there is a good demand for the Walker coun- ty output. 3,{ sstt "The fruit in our county does not
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-28

Some of the same papers that told their readers in the later part of No- vember that the amendment would win are now making bold claims for Colonel Mallory. But the distinguished amend ist has as much chance of becoming governor of Alabama as the amend ment had of winning. At any rate that is what Forecaster Marcus Well says, ing about when it comes to politics.