The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1910-05-13

I i MSS
svvARpN0ELLs = TnoMPsoN, pubs.
VEMDIpaA, NORTH DAKOTA
Time to think about . rsfrigsrator
soon.
Men viii not have to wear chante.
cler hats anyway.
Leaping from midwinter to midsum.
mer IL Pleasant, but perilous.
As revolutions 90. they are still
revolutionfng down in Nicaragua.
The announcement comes that New.
port society Is to fly. We knew that!
Resortkeepers are looking for an
extra spring crop Of summer boarders.
The third degree" seems to be get
ting something Of sweating process
itself.
Try to do a little work. The report
that the fish are biting is probably q
false alarm.
When sailing in such dizzy heights
the mercury should continually expect
to take a tumble.
The woman with chantecler hat IL
far from down to date unless she has
the new cocorico veil.
Just to be on the safe side how
would 1t do to make fun Of the comet
only after 1t has passed by?
AS a spring harbinger the mosquito
Is welcome. But wait till he toots
his little trumpet in the dog days!
The man who died Of heart disease
after drawing royal flush must have
had string of hard luck before that.
It will be hard to conceal a touring
car from the lynx-eyed assessors by
poking it up the ventilator Of the av.,
'erage fiat.
A Boston court has decided that q
prima donna's name cannot be given
to soup without her permission and,
presumably, her price.
To cure Indigestion. marital in.
felicity, divorce. and other things,
teach our daughters how to cook.
wash and mind the baby.
Kegs Of various descriptions have
been responsible for many accidents.
but one certain key Of nails in Chica
go saved an elevated train.
It is true that the sun has been
firing of skyrockets. but no man can
tell from here whether or not it
burned its fingers in the process.
According to an eminent entomolo.
gist, this is an age of bugs. The line
Of talk handed out by some college
professors makes people think he is
tight.
It is rumored that an automobile
trust is in process of organization.
Can this be a fiendish conspiracy to
sky the price Of the poor mans auto.
mobile?
The new comet discovered recently
near the path Of Halley's comet has
been lost. Perhaps it has been driven
out Of business by the professional
jealousy Of its bigger rival.
A Missouri man is advertising for
wife with "a good, wholesome SMILE"
Ladies who answer the advertisement
should be warned that 1t will be abso-
lutely necessary for them to show him
the smile.
A steamship in Florida waters had
hard time getting past school Of
monster 1,000-pound turtles that
showed fight. It is early in the sea-
son, but the sea serpent is not going
to be missed.
The gymnasium instructor in Eng
land who has made worlds record
by swinging pair Of three-pound
clubs continuously for GO hours could
have shown as much endurance and
done more good by saving wood.
The movement for a sane and safe
Fourth of July celebration is under
way. It will meet with no favor from
the small boy, who wants his consti-
tutional privilege to blow himself up
as burnt Offering to the Goddess of
Liberty.
A Chicago man has been fined $25
and costs because he sat for II hours
m thu &ronf afona Of thu ho,,ao In