davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

An old friend OF Uncle Joe"--of the
artillery surname-came TO town the
other day. and said that inasmueh as
Uncle Joe" seems TO be in for long
hard. muck-rakish winter-tO say moth
ing of November last-he'd like to re-
call an incident showing the Cannon
nature at its best.
When the present Speaker of the House
first went into business. at Tuscola, Ill,
SO runs the chronicle he boarded with
an old woman. whom he came 10 know
many Saturday evenings In the early
career of Mr. Cannon when he couldn't
have settled his board bill, even II his
landlady has accepted 10 cents on the
dollar in stage Confederate. or business
college money But Aunt Ellen had
confidence In young Cannon, and always
trusted him, and he had a good troom,
three meals a day and stewed chicken
on Sunday, just as If his m0ney-making
season had already begun. And in con
sequence he came 10 regard her more
and more highly.
Aunt Ellen" besides being kind
hearted, was Mrs. Malaprop Of the
III 81 magnitude + tI INSTANCE Dtib usgu
"a tell how she'd like TO have a fine car
riage with her entraiIs carved on the
side OF the door-meaning. presumably.
her initials-and after coming into pos
session OF a fine thoroughbred Jersey
COW she invariably referred TO the ami
mai as her 'threadbare'' COW. But this
did not lessen the regard In which she
was held by her star but penniless
boarder.
Years passed Cannon got TO be States
attorney, then was sent 10 Congress from
Tuscoia. Later he moved 10 Danville
and got rich. Some fifteen years ago his
daughters wedding was one OF the So
ciety events OF Danvlle. Among the
invitations sent out for the affair was
one 10 Aunt Ellen" up at Tuscola, No
one expected that Aunt Ellen" would
respond, but she did. And she came in
a costume as deliriOus as the wallpaper
In a boarding house sitting-roOm. She
wore a multihued gown, about nine
pounds Of bizarre-looking jewelry, long
curls-false ones-and q lot OF other
things that nobody else was wearing that
season. The young people among the
wedding guests started In 70 laugh them
selves sick at Aunt Ellen's" expense.
This lasted only until Mr.. Cannon could
get the young folks on in a corner where
he could administer rebuke.
You can't laugh al that old lady-not
In my house, you can't" he told them. N
pretty stern sort OF tone. That old
lady gave me food and shelter when I
couldn't get IL anywhere else. and she's
going 10 have every courtesy possible in
my home. even II she were 10 appear
here in circus tights"
There was no further fun made OF
Aunt Ellen" that evening.
In his book. The Speaker of the
House." II. B. Fuller. a young author.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05
MONDAY. DECEMBER .. 1910
Let It Be a Working Session.

Congress, reassembling to-day, after an
abnormal and tumultuous season Of par
tisan and factional politics. should be IN
mood 70 proceed TO business in bust
nesslike way. The country. which has
been watching Congress closely hereto
fore win watch it all the more closely
now to see the results. II any. OF the
Christening at the polls.
10 is too much to hope that Congress
can get its mind eff the happening in
November; but the less the barking back
10 it the better the country will be
pleased. Efforts toward Justification, ex-
PLANTATION. elimination. and recrimina-
ton, are prohtless now-vain and painful
and tiresOme, and the less the indulgence
therein the quicker Congress viii reha-
bilitate itself as a lawmaking body and
coordinate branch OF the government.
And it needs TO regain its rightful posi-
ton in the national equation and the
confidence Of the people-not merely for
the session about to end. but for all time
II the two political parties could. for
these passing days practice statesman
ship in Congress and proceed periodically
10 take up their duties and responsibilities
without thought OF what is coming IN
1912, both would be the better prepared for
the great struggle then 20 ensue. It is
too much to hope that there will not. on
either side. be cheap and spectacular eff
forts TO put the other Gin the hole" but
We trust there shall be little OF It. Ger
tainly the country, seriously determined
upon a better state OF things. is not to
be fooled by any such partisan plays and
by-plays
It is a time for work. not for politics.
Much OF the national legislation in
recent years-too much. indeed-has been
secured by Executive mandate and au-
thority. II has been far from edifying;
and Congress, IN the end. has paid for
It dearly by losing the country's conf
dence. a condition has thus come about
not dreamed OF by the nations founders
"a condition suggestive OF a strange doc
triRe Of stewardship lately preached at
Osawatomie. The country wants none
of it.
There IS no doubt that the message. In
its recommendations. will be business
Ike and free from partisanship And,
If Congress receives It in q businesslike.
nonpartisan spirit, then tho final ses-
sion Will be fruitful Of work and needed
results
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05
ROUSSEAU ON FLYING.
Philosophers Book shows that He
Was Haunted by AerOnauticz.

Was Haunted by AerOnautfcs.
From the Boston Transcript.
A CURIOUS little book has turned up-an
old old treatise on aeronautics by Jean
jacques Rousseau. called LIE NOuveau
Dedale." Like Leonardo da Vinci and
Cyrano de Bergerac. Rousseau was haunt
ed by the dream OF aerial navigation.
We read. Men walk on the earth, they
sail on the water. and swim IN H. Is not
the air an element. like the others? What
business have the birds 10 shut US out
OF their premises, while we are made vel
come In those Of the fishes?"
So far so good but Rousseau took no
stock IN any theories propounded bys85he
Darius Greens OF his day. He sifted the
matter for himself. and thought It In
volved two problems. First. 10 ind a
body lighter than air, so that il would
rise. He imagined that sooner OF later
such a body might present itself. There
was no telling. Luckier things than that
had happened. But what stumped him
was his second problen-how 20 make
that obliging body stop rising. and how
IN creation 10 make il come down. This
was too tough for Jean-Jacques. and he
wound up his book by admitting IT,
For long time lie Nouveau Dedale"
remained unpublished. appearing only IN
1901 II had a popularity all 70 brief In
fact, when It was rediscovered the other
day there were those who doubted its au-
thenticity For our own part We are not
so skeptical. since a letter OF Grimm's
tells US that in 1870. or Whereabouts, Jean
Jacques was puttering around q machine
with which he had a notion he could
learn 10 fly"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05
MARY's LITTLE HAT.

pm the Columbia State.
Mary had a little hat
But there! I'm really grieTed
There's no use finishing the Doem,
1t viii not be believed.
-Harper's Bazar.
But NE can mAks a little guess,
And come within a mile
When Mary had that nttls hat
Big ones were not In style.
Springfield Union.
Or maybe this thought win explain
About that little hat
It only seemed small when compared
With Marys nifty rat"
Birmingham Ags- Herald.
Mary may have really had
A little hat, but still
IN bet that there was nothing
Very little 10 the bill.
-Nashyills Teuuesean.
Mary owned little hat
Also 8 goat she had
Now Man has no little hat,
And with her the goats In bad
Allentown Democrat
II Mary had a little hat
The chances are that she
Has a lot Of peroxide hair
She wants the men 10 see.
-POttsvills Journal,
Mary had a lite hat
Added 10 her APPAREL"
Little hatg' Oh. bully geel
It's bigger than barrel
Scranton Tribune-RepubAcsn
Mary had little hat
Not bigger than bun
And not the semblance Of a rat
Way back in 81,
Houston Post
Mary had e httls hat
It cost a little foTchun
And men who saw II said 1t wa
A danlnshle aborchnn.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05
His Way of Getting Even.

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer
You know that fellow. Jim NcGroarty.
the lad that's always comm I'D an
thumpin' ye on tn chest an yeIlin' How
are YEP
I know him."
IN bet he's smashed twinty cigars for
me-some o thin clear Havannys-but
I'll get even with him now"
How will ye do it?"
'Ill tell ". Jim always hits me over
the vest pocket where / carry me cigars
He'll hit me there just once more. There's
no cigar in me vest pocket this mornin'
Instead Of 1t there's a stick of dynamite,
dye mind"'
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

day These fares have been arranged
on a maximum distance of two miles for
cents.
The city Of Birmingham started out to
work the men not more than sixty hours
a week. but since has reduced this 10
ifty-four hours. motorman starts at
1881 cents per hour and works up TO
1929 cents A conductor starts at 1l25
cents per hour and works up TO 1891
cents. Uniforms are supplied. and the
employees are pensioned. A bonus of one
pound sterling is allowed quarterly to
motormen who have been free from ac-
cldents due TO Negligence. AS showing
the excellent results OF this feature, %
per cent of Birmingham motormen last
quarter received that bonus. With a
showing such as this. the advocates of
municipal ownership in this country have
no reason TO despair,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05
Naval Line and STAT Row.

IT is difficult TO understand the practi-
cal advantage which must. somewhere
or somehow. reside ~ the proposition to
merge certain staff branches OF the navy
with the line Of the navy, apparently for
the laudable purpose of getting rid Of
the line and stafr fight. That squab-
bic has subsisted for many years, and
It's principal manifestation has been in
the direction OF titles, the staff off,
GERS claiming a right 10 use the titles
now employed by line officers, while the
latter object TO such a designation Of
their staff associates as being misleading
People who are not OF the service fail TO
recognize the Importance OF the differ
enee which now exists in titles, especially
as the titles Of line officers are not de-
soriptive OF the duties they perform, and
there is no reason to consider a medical
officer or a naval constructor any less Of
the lighting personnel than many or
the line officers. Presumably all parts OF
the navy contribute to the end and aim
OF naval force. which is 10 hit the enemy
deadly blow. The man who designs a
ship or builds a gun or proteetsa.th
health of the gunner is doing his part
toward the fighting efficiency.
However. 1t is intimated that there is
to be a merging OF certain stan corps
with the line, notably the branch which
is made up Of naval constructors. This is
eommendable. if it shall do away with
line and star pickering, and it is of small
consequence what sort Of titles are
adopted. II is of Importance. however.
that there be check to thh tendency 10
amalgamate. 1t has been something OF
a failure in the merging Of the old Engi-
neer Corps with the line OF the navy 10
make what Mr.. Roosevelt was wont air
lily 10 term lighting engineers" It IS still
necessary TO have men especially trained
in naval engineering. II Will continue to
be necessary 90 have men trained as
naval constructors. and It IS worth while
to preserve specialists in certain technical
lines. The fanciful notion that the line
officer Of the navy can be 'jack-of-an-
trades III his profession must some day
be identified as the menace it is. and it
would be well 20 make the discovery be-
fore it IS too late.
The merger in naval personnel organ
ization may be carried 10 any extreme.
If it simply have for its object the avoid
ance OF internal controversy or the ad-
justment OF high-soundIng titles; but #
will be nothing short Of the disastrous IL
there be any attempt 10 do away with an
important branch OF navy work on the
assumption that line officers can be naval
engineers or naval constructors. as well as
navigators and strategists.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

From the New YORK. Times.
The Maternity Monument Association
applied in the Supreme Court for a GER
tificate of Incorporation It's object gem
orally Is the cultivation and dissemlna-
ton OF various branches Of art. with spe-
cial emphasis on sculpture. and il pur-
poses 10 erect a statue depicting the
subject OF maternity in Central Park or
some other suitable location
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05
POLITICAL POTPOURRI.

From the Charleston News and Courier
New York VIII have e tenth Of all the Congress
men, but most Of then don't count.
From the Philadelpha Evening Times
Woodrow Wilson appears 10 have the peculiar the
oTy that governor IS one who governs.
From the St Louis Post Dispatch.
The prospect that the consumer will shortly be
able 70 eonsums something is about the rosest out
look upon the national horizon.
From the Cleveland Plain Dealer
Harvard professor lsments the fact that genuine
Yankees arc dying out in New England And those
Yankees were so many of them. Republicans, too
it appears.
From the New York Evening Post.
The President. it IS announced. has cut S25 COO =
oeo from the departmental estimates. so as to in
sure some savings in the actual cost Of adninistra
ton next year, For this the country viii give
thanks uneserTedly.
From the Omaha Bee
II IS eonsoling 10 find that Mr.. BrRn's native
modesty has not consumed him. He has at last
admitted that the recent Democratic victory was
due TO fourteen years Of education" carried on by
the Democracy under his guidance.
From the Buffalo Enquirer
The Democrats Of the Empire State want 40 Trust
attorney or fammauy valet in the Senate Of the
United States. The biggest aud bravest and brain
lest man that car be found in the party should be
chosen. and the next Senator should be a man
whose very name viii be synonymous with fidelity
to the people.
From the Ohio State Journal.
The idea Of President Taft to fortify the Panama
Canal meets great obstacle at the start and that
is Mr. Tawney. chairman Of tho Appropriations
Committee Of the House. Mr.. Tawney Is in favor
Of naturalization. which is the peaos policy, the
Christian civilization policy, and it Is 10 be hoped
he VIII succeed.
From the Springfield Republican.
President Taft's annual message TO be sent 70
Congress this week. is said to be from 5000 to 90
900 words long. That was the report day or two
asc. It is said to have been reduced by 600 words
since then, which would 10 leave message
nearly quite Zoo words long. That would break
even the Roosevelt record for inordinate length
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05
Kind 10 Animals.


Remove the sting OF a wasp or bee with
a watch key, pressing the place with it:
then rub the sting with a slice Of raw
onion, moist tobacco, or a damp blue bag.
Daily Mirror. Press gently. dry, dust
with boracic powder and return it to the
bee Tor Waspl
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

When an Indiana judge lectures an
automobile speeder who has knocked
down a woman. tells him that he and
his kind are a menace 10 civilization, and
ends the lecture by imposing fne Of the
customary $40. we feel that there must be
a paradox somewhere.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

From the Detroit Free PresA
Hes bad man ell right. He put two
Goidfeid saloons out Of business"
Shoot 'em up?"
mo. drank 'em up
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05
Il LITTLE NONSENSE.
OUR ANNUAL WARNING.

OUR ANNUAL WARNING.
You have some gifts 10 buy,
Or so you say.
The hours like swallows fly;
So why delay?
Sad is the shoppers lot
Who buyeth late;
And, therefore, you should not
Procrastinate.
We must repeat. good friend.
Our ancient tale.
Discomfort will attend
The final sale.
Provide for those you love,
Buy what you need;
And dodge the horrors of
The last stampede.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

Omaha comes out every once in q while
with a great idea for the country TO copy.
II proposes now that all girls graduating
from the high school shall make their
own graduation gowns. That's practical
education for you!
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

The Carnegie steel trust has discovered
a way Of catching ore dust which will
save it many millions year But the
ultimate consumer Will hardly find the
finished product any cheaper on that ac-
count
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

MOI
From The Chicago Tnmne.

Prom The Chicago Tribune
Has your particular grocer or butcher
confirmed the report that the prices of
the things you have to eat are coming
DOWN.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

1t may be that the meeting of the
waterways men in Washington win help
TO get those New Year water-wagon res
olutlons well started
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

South Carolina newspaper comments
on a recent lynching OF a negro by sol
emily pointing out that there was no
rowdyism" OF course not; rowdies never
do such things.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

The Wall Street Journal says that the
year 1911 will see a general SETTLING
down" among the railroads. IN their de-
termination 10 make the rest OF US settle
up. we presume.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

Since the row over II in Chicago, most
OF the big cities may be divided into two
classes-one that will permit "salome, 3"
the other that won't The advertising of
the wonts is OF the better class
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

Gov. Marshall says the people Of this
country have way OF changing their
heroes often. Some Of our heroes. how
ever, have way OF Obstinately refusing
TO staY changed
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

That Maryland man who wants a d.
vorce because he is afraid of his wife
surely does not think that his condition
is unique.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

The wheels OF the law turn with re-
lentless rapldity in New Jersey. They
have just succeeded IN indictiag the man
who shot Mayor Gaynor.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05
Empty Houses.

Need any talent for your moving
picture dramas?''
We'll. don't know Have you ever
acted without audiences?"
That's what brought me here
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

New York woman confesses that
she has won seventeen fraudulent YER
diets against railroads by claiming that
she had slipped up on banana peels. She
slipped UP on the last case.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

a New Rochelle man mislaid his mar
riage license, and when he found It the
next day his prospective bride had mar
ried another. His confidence in the lady
was also misplaced.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

When a negro prize fighter can AFFORD
TO have a case OF nervous prostratlon
we know that We are living In an age of
luxury
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

Those scientists who said that the coal
in Alaska would last for 6.0OO years evil
IDENTIFY had a tip that no one was going
% be allowed 20 mlne Il
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

Herbert Latham. the aviator. says that
he is going to hunt big game from an
aeroplane. VIII r@thing make the colonel
talk2
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

Probably the reason the Oklahoma
legislators had TO allow Bryan's picture
hung in the statehouse was that # was
q speaking likeness.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

Champ Clark says the Speakers auto
mobile must go. Otherwise. it certainly
would not be- Of much use
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05
Various Boasts.

MY grandmother used 10 boast that
she didn't know one card from another. =
''Yes?"
But my granddaughter. the bridge ex-
pert. boasts that she doesn't know a
frying pan from nutmeg crater"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

The woman who first called Senator T.
c. Plat the Easy Boss" iss dead. AT
the time she named him she probably did
not suspect how appropriate the name
would become afterward.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

Miss Eleanor Sears has now ordered a
$4,000 biplane. She could have got
press agent much cheaper.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05
II May Be.

What has become Of that explorer
who lectured on the arctic in America %
He may be lecturing on America in
the arctic"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

The Supreme Court declines to hear
criticism of the last two administrations,
thus heaping Goals upon a certain dis
tinguished head az OYSTER Bay.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

cannot help absorbing some OF the vir-
tues OF the educational campaign that is
being carried on through the children.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05
The Dinner Party.

Il don't care to have Mr.. wombat
take me out"
why, he is a brilliant conversation
alist"
Il know; but I've heard his roper
toire."
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05
ENchnnge Of cid.

My wife is going TO get me a dining
room rug for Christmas"
And what are you going TO give herr"
Il think III get her shotgun"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05
All Depends,

Want good anecdote about a states.
man.
Was he re-electedg'
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

Help the Boy Scouts movement along.
It is a step toward higher manhood.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

Sing a song of siXpencel
How on earth am
Four-and-twenty presents
Out of il to buy?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

/ IuIl ne % Louls Fost-Ilspaten,
The prospect that the consumer will shortly be
able 70 consume something Is about the rosiest out
look upon the national horizon.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05
from the Cleveland Plain Dealer.

A Harvard professor lsments the fact that genuine
Yankees are dying out in New England. And those
Yankees were. many Of Them Republicans, too
IL appesH
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

From the Charleston News and Courier.
New York VIII have tenth Of all the Congress
men, but most Of then don't count
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

- '''IF
The President, It IS announced, has cut SIS co.. =
eco from the departmental estimates. so as to in
sure some savings in the actual cost Of administra
ton next year, For this the country viii give
thanks unreserTedy
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

From the Philadelphia Evening Times.
WoodrOw Wilson appears 10 have the peculiar the
ory that governor IS one who governs.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-05

The teacher OF a country school, said
Fred B. Ward. Of Louisville. KY. who
was seen at the Riggs, telling this story,
eonce purchased at certain bookstore
an old copy OF Artemus Wards book So
a prize to be awarded in his school. Tho
pupil who received it was a young man
to whom the teacher remarked that II
he wished some other book he could ex-
change IT, A few days afterWard the
youth came to the store and asked 10
have it exchanged. Don't you like IT,
asked the clerk in the store Well, said
he. the readin' is tolerable good, but tho
spellin' amt right. nohow' "