davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-10-24

SHAKE OFF THE GRIP of your old enemy, Nasal Catarrh, by using Ely's Cream Balm. Then will all the swell ing and soreness be driven out of the tender. irf1amed membranes. The fits of sneezing will cease and the dis charge, as offensive to others as to yourself, will be stopped when the causes that produce it are removed. CIeanli- ness. comfort and health renewed by the use of Cream Balm. Sold by ali druggists for 50 cents, or mailed by Ely Bros. 56 Warren Street, New
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-10-24
THE pRErT1Esr rACE

end the most bea utifuI hands are of- ten disfgured by an uns1ghtly wart If can easily be removed in a few days without pain by using Cyrus Wart Remover, for sale only at The Cyrus Pharmacy. 253 Fairfield avenue and 1S6 Cannon St. 's
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-10-24
CLEANTCASY. THE BEST HAND
 SOAP.

Guaranteed not to 1nJure the skin. Instantly removes Stove Polish, Rust Grease, Ink, Paint and Dirt. For the hand or clothing. Large can 10 centa Manufa cured by Wm. R. Winns 2AA StratfOrd Ave.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-10-24
CHRIsT cHuRCH sIIPPER

The ladies of Christ church will give supper tomorrow evening at 6:30 Many good things to eat will be on hand, including some genuine home made pies.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-10-24
MAY BE GOOD rIRE.

The police department is in posses sion of fine looking automobile tire, picked up in Congress street.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1910-12-15
BABYs SCALP cRUsTED

"Our little daughter, when three
months old, began to break out on the
head and we had the best doctors to
treat her, but they did not do her any
good. They said she had eczema. Her
scalp was a solid scale all over. The
burning and itching was so severe that
she could not rest. day or night. We
had about given up all hopes when we
read of the Cuticura Remedies. We at
once got a cake of Cuticura Soap, q
box of Cuticura Ointment and one bot
tie of Cuticura Resolvent, and fol-
lowed directions carefully. After the
flrst dose Of the Cuticura Resolvent,
we used the Cuticura Soap freely and
applied the Cuticura Ointment. Then
she began to improve rapidly and in
two weeks the scale came of her
head and new hair began TO grow. In
very short time she was well. She is
now sixteen years Of age and pic
ture Of health. We used the CUT
cura Remedies about Ave weeks. reg
ularly, and then we could not tell she
had been affected by the disease. We
used no other treatment after we
found out what the Cuticura Remedies
would do for her. ]. Fish and Ella M.
Fish, Mt Vernon. KY. Oct IL. 1909"
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1910-12-15
AdUice to Aspirants

man or your footman you can get
very heavy penalties against him in
the courts.
You cannot be arrested except for
an indictable offense. For any offense
less serious you can, of course, be
summoned to appear. But the police.
man is not allowed to use IN your case
his usual efficient method of making
sure that people do actually appear.
If the offense is serious, however, you
can be arrested in the ordinary way.
Then you can claim to be tried by a
jury of your fellow peers.
If society paper gossips about you
in way you do not like, the proprie-
tors are guilty Of the crime of scan
datum magnatum," and you should
find it easy to make them regret that
ever they were born.
Lastly, you need not buy stamps for
your letters unless you like Peers
are still entitled to use the old method
of ''franking" letters. But your
friends would not bless you when they
received letters with only your pri
vate mark instead of stamp. The
postrnan would probably camp out on
the doorstep till he had that two
pence. Though the privilege OF
'franking' still exists, theoretically
for peers, the business-like postof
fee would probably refuse to recoG
nize it.-Stray Stories.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1910-12-15

Suppose you become an English
peer and are naturally anxious to find
out exactly what personal rights and
privileges your new station gives, you
will have to give your secretary a
month or SO to hunt through rows OF
dust-coxered volumes. And even then
you will not know one-half of them.
Lots of them are obsolete indeed.
They have not been repealed, how
ever, and, II you wish to take advan-
tage of every privilege that your new
rank gives you you will find plenty Of
opportunities.
If you are unfortunate enough to be
condemned to death, for instance, you
can demand a moose of silk. If you
are bald. and shy Of displaying your
infirmity, you are at liberty to keep
on your hat when in a court Of JUS
tice, a privilege that not even the
prime minister enjoys-except, of
course, when he happens to be peer.
Every time parliament reopens you
are allowed by royal charter, II your
way to the house leads through one of
the royal deer parks, to kill and, II
you wish it, carry away one or two
deer. When returning home you may
do the same again. There is only one
condition. You must, when entering
the park, give the royal foresters no
tice of your intention by sounding
your hunting horn.
II commoner so far forgets him
self, for reasons of his own, as to
punch your head, you have the priv
lege of hailing him before the Grim
inal courts as one guilty of the crime
of showing contempt for the whole
house of parliament. And before he
leaves the Old Bailey he will be very,
very sorry. If, on the other hand, 1t
is you who so far forget yourself as
to punch the commoner's mead, he can
summons you, Just as he would any
one else, at the police court. But If,
when you are there, you breathe out
threatenings and slaughter against
him, and tell him exactly what you
will do to him when you get him out
side, you can do so for as long as you
please.
The magistrate has no power to
bind you over to keep the peace, or
commit you for contempt of court, one
of which things he would certainly do
If your name did not appear on the
register of the house of lords.
But these are not the only advan-
tages your rank gives YOU In the
courts. II you are concerned in
chancery case and have to appear in
the witness box, your word would. If
you wished it, be taken as equivalent
to another mans oath. II anyone
uses personal violence to your coach
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1910-12-15

The Lancet, in strong plea for
better care of the teeth of English chill
dren. which, it says, lis matter OF
the first Importance to the country
declares that tooth brush drill is OF
little value when carried out during
school hours; to be OF value 1t must
be carried out at the proper times, the
most important of all being the last
thing before going to rest" This med
ical authority thinks, also, that "a well
organized crusade throughout the
country on the Importance of the teeth
and the technique of their proper care
would be followed In a generation by
an immense Improvement in the health
of the nation, and, from the point OF
view of the combatant services. by ar
enormous decrease in the percentage
of recruits rejected for defective
teeth"
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1910-12-15
| 81 Wiz s=zzSs5$NMFTR -
| GzA5nILlESh<B
ES w ~ x >ss u sAazSaa =
wIckERsHAM TELLS THIS ONE.

Attorney General Wickersham is q
great story teller He brought the fol-
lowing tale hack from the northwest
and told it at the White House:
A man there was who was in mortal
fear of his wife. especially when he
INDUCED in spirits to excess and for,
got to go home until the early hours
of the morning. One night he drank
until he became hilarious, and 1t was
in the small hours of the morning that
he reached his home. He gained an
entrance without arousing his sleep
ing spouse.
Shoeless he climbed the stairway.
opened the door of the bedroom, en-
tered and closed 1t after him without
being detected Just as he was about
to get into bed his wife, half aroused
from her slumber. turned and sleepily
said: 'Is that you. Fido?"
The husband. telling the rest of the
story, replied: For once in my life |
had real presence of mind. | licked
her hand. Washington Herald.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1910-12-15
Church Built BY Women

Earle, thin, grey-haired woman, who
is in charge of the construction. states
that the new Apostolic church. Of
which she is the minister, will differ
from others inasmuch as the sect will
accept the Biblical doctrines and ad-
moniti0ns literally. Therefore. thew
were building the church on the faith
that the Lord would supply the mate
rails. while required workers gave
their services.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1910-12-15

From London comes the announce.
ment Of the death of the woman who
claimed to be the original of Little
Dorrit," that famous character of
Dickens. The lady was entitled to the
benefit of the doubt, but 1t is fact
that similar claims have been made by
others. 1t is also asserted that o
brother Of the woman who has just
died was the original Tiny Tim" and
that he served in part as the model for
Paul Dombey." II all those asser
tions can be proved it would seem
that the family formed sort of trust
for Dickens characters.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1910-12-15

The passenger traffic between the
United States and Europe continues to
offer most alluring inducements. Many
of the big companies are adding the
newest, largest and swiftest vessels to
their fleets. One of the latest launch
ings is that of a chip that is being
built by French line. to run to New
York. This is one of the greatest craft
yet completed, and when put in COM
mission will be able to carry 2,020 pas
sengers. The total cost will be about
$5.000,000. That is what foreign con-
Germs are doing to get American trade.
And Americans permit them to mo-
nopolize business that should be in
American control and which should
be a most important auxiliary in ex-
tending American commerce.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1910-12-15

Perhaps If the truth were known a
considerable proportion of the SO.
called automobile accidents" would
be found to have resulted from be.
fuddled heads and unsteady nerves
The menace Of man under the in,
fiuence of liquor and in an automobile
is easily appreciated, and when it is
demonstrated that crashes on the
road are due to drunkenness the pun.
ishment should be severe. Those who
insist upon running amuck on the
highways should be made to pay a
heavy penalty. whether they be sober
or drunk.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1910-12-15
COUCH OF LUXURY.

The most perfect resting place ever
devised for human being is just be
meath the roof, and then you must be
able to see the shingle nails sticking
through. II a gentle rain be falling,
so much the better. Five minutes
spent In that sweet retreat are enough
TO Danish the memory OF every trouble.
Debt and death lose their terrors, and
the peace that passes understanding
comes upon you, says the Washington
Post. You become a boy again and
enter once more into the world that
used to be. Soon the dark corners of
the room are peopled with the images
of childhood. Over where the old
clothes are hanging you can see the
outlines Of a dismantled ship, while
down the sandy shore come Robinson
Crusoe and Man Friday. A swarthy
face peeps from behind the big trunk
1t is Faringhea, the stranger, creep
ing stealthily upon his victim. Fast
er and faster they come, some pleas
ing, some ferocious. You welcome
them all and are not bit afraid, and
the rain drips, drips, with a steady,
monotonous sound Then comes a
blank. Next morning the spell is
broken, but the memory remains You
see the old clothes and the trunk, and
find that the only gobelin tapestry in
the room is a cluster of cobwebs over
the little dormer window. But you
had slept the sleep of the just, and
found 1t most refreshing.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1910-12-15

English owners of homing pigeons
have lost SO many of them this season
that they believe there is an especial
cause. This cause, many of them are
inclined to suspect, is wireless telegra-
ply. Many will dismiss the indict-
ment as fanciful, on account of the
comparative weakness of the current
which wireless telegraphy brings into
play. The answer to this is that the
current does not kill the birds, but
only confuses them, causing them to
miss their way. If the Marconi cur.
rent affects pigeons, why not gulls?
Indeed. 1t would seem not impossible
that wireless telegraph stations may
be the means of greater disaster to
gulls than lighthouses.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1910-12-15

Be that as it may, the fact remains
that over certain cornerstone on the
east of Hudson bay, the Labradorian;
another on the west of it, the Kee-
watin, and a third in the Canadian
rockies, the Cordilleran-snow, grad
ually changing into ice, accumulated
year after year in such immense thick
nesses that finally, impelled by its
own weight, motion began, and three
giant glaciers crept out over the ad-
iacent country. These finally Joined
into a continental ice mass that at its
greatest extent covered two-thirds Of
North America-an area Of about
100000 square miles
While there may have been some
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1910-12-15

One Of the sights of Jersey City,
across the river from New York, is a
group Of women who are laboriously
building a church. They are doing the
actual work themselves after their
days household duties are over. Men
are lending helping hand. but they
are merely carrying the hods, and co
casionally give instructions to the wo-
men. The building is almost up to
the top OF the first story. Mrs. Sarah
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1910-12-15

| lite as large as small cabin could be
lodged on top of mountain when
there is no similar rock within hun
dred miles or more, we must trace its
| history back to time at least 100000
years ago, when the geologic period
called the tertiary was drawing to its
close.
The first fact to attract our atten-
ton, could we have taken a birdseye
view of the northern part of our con-
tinent at that time. would be its great
er extent than at present. Looking
eastward we would see the shoreline
extending In places hundred miles
beyond the shoreline of today, and in
vain would we scan for the islands,
bays and reaches that now lend such
enchantment to our picturesque coast.
Northward the land probably stretch
ed unbroken over the present arctic
archipelago. and connected on the
east by way Of Greenland, Iceland and
the Scandinavian peninsula with Eu-
rope and on the west by closing Of
Bering strait with Asia.
This circumstance had a very impor-
tant bearing on the fauna of that day,
as It enabled the animals from the one
continent to cross to the other. Ma
king a closer inspection Of the land
scape beneath us, we would be sur
prised at the total absence OF the
smaller lakes that now are its most
Characteristic feature. Even the great
lakes we're missing, with the possible
exception of Lake Superior, while in
the valleys in which these latter now
lie flowed rivers belonging to one
or more systems.
The mountain groups of today we
would recognize at once, notwithstand-
ing their somewhat more rugged out
line, and the same would be true in
the case of the rivers. While we
would see a number of them in
strange courses, the master streams
we would know at first glance. For
millions of years these had been cut
ting their channels undisturbed, until
at the close of the tertiary new i'm
petus was impaired to them, owing to
the recent rise of land and the ever
increasing humidity of the climate.
So we would probably see them tur-
bulent and swollen and the sides OF
their water courses often precipitous
and jagged. oyerhung in places by
great lodges and loose blocks readily
dislodged by the least force.
The climate over the whole conti-
nent was semitropical, or at least tenn
perate, and such plants as the big and
great red woods of California grew as
far north as Greenland and Iceland.
And through the almost endless woods
of the north roamed herds of masto-
don and other herbivore Of great size,
together with such beasts of prey as
the now extinct saber-toothed tiger.
But we find no trace Of man.
Over this strange and magnificent
world the ice swept down so suddenly,
as geologic time is reckoned, that
most of the then existing animal and
plant forms, pushed south before its
advance, had not time enough to adapt
themselves to their new environment,
and therefore became greatly altered
or exterminated.
AS yet there has been no good rea-
son assigned for change that In
comparatively short time transformed
the semitropical climate into that of
Greenland of today. Probably a COM
bination of circumstances brought it
about.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1910-12-15
Some Kicking.

That actress says she will earn
enough money on the stage to put
Manuel back on the throne of Por-
tugal."
Makes a regular football of Man
uel, doesn't it,"
How SOL"
"The revolutionists kicked him on
the throne and she is going to kick
him back on"
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1910-12-15
Ham, Teeth-

Your composition, as a whole,
said the professor of literature, de
serves a great deal of praise, but
must object to the expression, as
fine as hens teeth it is not merely
uncouth, but also suggestive of nature
taking; for it is common knowledge
that hens teeth do not exist"
Il don't see why they don't exist"
muttered the composer; don't combs
have teeth. and don't hens have
combs?"
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1910-12-15
A Matter of Conscience

my health and digestion are per.
feet, DOCTOR" began the caller in the
office of the medical man. Il haven't
an ache or pain. The trouble with
me is that cannot sleep at night"
We'll. If that is the case, SIR" said
the learned physician. Il suggest that
you consult your spiritual adviser
~ather than me."-Lippincott's.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1910-12-15
NNHM
MAx:

difference in time at which the vari-
GUS ice centers reached their greatest
development, we will be very nearly
the truth in saying that from the
southern limit, shown on the map,
northward the ice lay in one unbroken
expanse, with the exception of the So
called driftless area and possibly one
of the highest mountain peaks in the
east 1t is calculated that its thick
ness at the two eastern centers must
have been something like 5000 to TO-
900 feet.
On it's way from the north the ice
mass gathered to itself immense guam
titles of soil and loose rock which
were carried along with it. Occasion
ally huge blocks of rock from noun
tain slopes and stream bottoms were
clutched in the firm grip of the ice
and carted for hundreds of miles. Ere
quently the ice would lift great bowl
ders from the bottom of valley to
the top of mountain.
Presently the ice began to retreat
before a more congenial climate. II
was not at first, however, steady re-
treat, as not less than four times the
ice again advanced after having al
most vanished, and each time 1t was
followed by animals and plants adapt
ed to the semifrigid climate at its
edge. During one of these interglacial
epochs man appeared upon the scene.
Butt as the ice melted and disap-
peared the earth and rocks which 1t
carried were dumped, sometimes as
an even mantle. but more often in
hills and ridges.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1910-12-15

The usual fate OF get-rich-quick
schemes is collapse at the end. And
the lambs" are feeced as a prelim.
mary. A speculative scheme of this
kind in Connecticut has brought ur
in the bankruptcy court. with unse.
cured claims of 100000 to be set,
tied. And the further sequel no doubt
will be the charging of the sum to
the profit and loss account of those
foolish enough to invest"
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1910-12-15
KEEPING RECORD sTRAIeHr.

oh. hobble gown.
Peach basket hats.
And high-heeled shoes,
And heaps OF rats.
We write these few
Short lines to you
To keep the record
Straight. we do.
We long to have
You understand .
We love the girls
To beat the band,
Not because they
Wear things like you.
But in spite of
That fact. we do.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1910-12-15
Exchange Of courtesles.

'Mornin'. Riggs"
"Mornin'. Griggs."
Il hope you're enjoying good
health"
you don't suppose / could enjoy
poor health, do your"
You could If you were new doc
tor in a strange community. Mornin'."
"Mornin'."
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1910-12-15
a steadx inonme

I'm afraid" said the critical friend.
that you will never be able to make
anything out of Miss Screechers
voice"
That's all you know about It," re-
torted the vocal instructor. why,
rvesmade over 5000 out of it already"
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1910-12-15
So Saw W. An

We would have ell men live in
peace, each man respect his fellow
man: all lying. cheating. grating
cease--and the whole world live on q
better plan. But one lone privilege
we insist: tbs this-the right. should
any dare our slightest purpose to re-
sist, to annihilate him then and there.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1910-12-15
END STOMACH TROUBLE NOW
Dyspepsia, Gas, Sourness or IndiCes
ton Go Five Minutes After Taking
a Little Dlapepsin.

II your meals don't at comfortably,
or you feel bloated after eating, and
you believe 1t is the food which fills
lead on your stomach; II there is DIFF
dculty in breathing, quotations OF
sour, undigested food and acid, heart
burn, brash or belching of gas, you
can make up your mind that you need
something to stop food fermentation
and cure Indigestion.
A large case of Pape's Diapepsin
costs only fifty cents at any drug
store here in town, and will convince
any stomach sufferer five minutes after
taking a single dose that Fermenta-
ton and Sour Stomach lie causing the
misery of Indigestion. re
No matter If you call your trouble
Catarrh OF the Stomach, Dyspepsia,
Nervousness or Gastritis, or by any
other name--always remember that q
certain cure is waiting at your drug
store the moment you decide to begin
its use.
Pape's Diapepsin will regulate any
out-of-order Stomach within ave min
utes, and digest promptly, without any
fuss or discomfort, all OF any kind Of
food you eat.
These large 5O-cent cases contain
more than SUFFICIENT to thoroughly
cure any chronic case Of Dyspepsia.
Indigestion, Gastritis or amy other
Stomach trouble.
Should you at this moment be sui
fering from Indigestion. Gas, Sour
ness or my stomach disorder, You ear
surely get relief within FIVE minutes.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1910-12-15
Judge-And is there no chance for

Judge-And is there no chance for
an agreement?
Foreman of the Jury (rising)-
WAL, II your honor will give me back
the gun that was took from me when
we was locked up, reckon kin bring
these here IL emery critters to time
In less than five minutes, but there
amt no chance for an agreement while
I'm lackin' a strong argument.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1910-12-15
Hls ErIends "a RIame.

And why are you here. my poor
MANI" asked the visiting parson.
I've got me friends t blame fer It,"
answered convict 1923.
why, how is that?" queried the par
son.
DE Judge said 1t was de electric
chair fer mine. but me friends got
bizzy an had de sentence chang'd t
imprisonment fer life," explained the
other.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1910-12-15
Mot = Matter of Monev

Stern Parent-I'm afraid that young
man is mercenary.
The Daughter-Oh. no. he isn't.
papa.
Stern Parent-But he knows l am
worth two millions, doesn't he?
The Daughter-Yes. Of course; but
he says he would love me just as
much If you were only worth mil
lion and a half.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1910-12-15
His wax Of Pronosin.

Everyone is saying that we are en-.
gagged"
Indeed? suppose you are deny.
ing it?"
mo. IL thought / would leave II
to you. and--er-if you don't deny it,
we are"
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1910-12-15
Gets Them Running.

"Will the business men of this com
munity substitute Marathon meet?"
How will Marathon help the
business men?"
I'm many ways. The telegraph COM
pany ought to be Interested. Look
how it will stimulate the messenger
boys"