davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28
MARK TWAIN's TRIBUTE TO HIS
 DAUGHTER

In Harpers for January is printed the last thing that Mark Twain wrote-a touching and beautiful tribute to his daughter Jean, who died just one year ago. It was written on the day of her death He says;
 Jeans dog has been wandering about the grounds today, comradeless and for lorn. I have seen him from the windows She got him from Germany. He has tall ears and looks exactly like a wolf. He was educated in Germany, and knows no language but the German. Jean gave him no orders save in that tongue. And so, when the burglar-alarm made a fierce clamor at midnight a fortnight ago, the butler, who is French, and knows no Ger man, tried in vain to interest the dog in the supposed burglar. Jean wrote me. to Bermuda, about the incident. It was the last letter I was ever to receive from her bright head and her competent hand. The dog will not be neglected"
 There was never a kinder heart than Jean's. From her childhood up she al- ways spent the most of her allowance on charities of one kind and another. After she became secretary and had her in come doubled she spent her money upon these things with a free hand Mine, too, am glad and grateful to say.
 "She was loyal friend to all animals. and she loved them all. birds. beasts and everything--even snakes-an inheritance from me. She knew all the birds: she was high up in that lore. She became a member of various humane societies when she was still little girl-both here and abroad-and she remained an active mem- her to the last She founded two or three societies for the protection of animals, here and in Europe
 "she was an embarrassing secretary, for she nshed my correspondence out of the waste-basket and answered the let tcrs. She thought all letters deserved the courtesy of an answer. Her mother brought her up in that kindly error"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28
----se>--------------------- THE CHRISTMAS READING

By T. A. Daly.
 The herald winds of Christmas sleep, High-cradled on the wooded steep The far stars only are a-thrill With life; the night is cold and still Come! gather round the ingle-nook And from it's shelf take down the book Wherein the masters genius drew Those pictures old, but ever new, fWhose "Christmas Carols" deathless chime Beats down the envious touch of time. Here let the children sit, and there Beneath the lamps light place thy chair, And read the pages of thy choice Tell us of Scrooge and Marley ghost, Of all our favorites old; but most Tell us with tenderness of him We laugh and weep with-Tiny Tim. Call thou the soul to every face About thee In this holy place. fa We shall not be ashamed at all sa For frank. sweet tears you cause to fall But fervently. with eyelids dim And hearts attuned to Tiny Tim, We'll quote his words when you havs
 done,
 And say, "God bless us. every oneir
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28
LUXURIOUS WALLETS

From the New York Press
 Here is high valetry and variety with vengeance! A room clerk in an uptown palace hotel tells of a. palace revolution that double discounts jerked-beef mu- tiny in Rio Janeiro. He says: The valets and maids we get here are far more difficult to deal with than their masters and mistresses. Most of them insist upon having rooms with private baths and turn up their noses at anything else. It has happened at times that the servants' rooms were all occupied and we had to put a valet or maid into room with bath, a regular guest room, charging the regular servant rate. The result 10 that every gentleman gentleman that comes here now demands a "bahth" as his inalienable right" s
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28

to educate the people, and the Panama exposition should be held where the larger number of people can afford to go. Neither politics nor civic advancement should be controlling. The people should decide the question, and on this basis New Orleans will win hands down. It is central and its means of communication with sections that hold nine-tenths of the country's s population are beyond question. Congress should be deaf to the politicians and alert 10 the people in this matter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28
For the Orphans

'The ladies who are trying to assist the East Lake Orphanage will give an entertainment at the Knights of Colum- bus hall Thursday afternoon from 2:9O to o'clock, to which the public is invit- ed, and all friends of the little ones are expected to be present." said a member of the Jefferson County orphanage asso- ciation N
 There will be candy pulling for the children and progressive euchre for the grown people. The Knights of Columbus hall is at 2o2l1s Third avenue, and the various social rooms are largo and well furnished.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28
FRIEND AND PROTECTOR

From Ideas.
 In spite of his well-known poor marks manship, a certain Englishman was in vited to the country for a days shoot ing. The attendant, in great disgust, wit messed miss after miss.
 Dear me-" at last exclaimed the sportsman, "but the birds seem excep- tionally strong on the wing this year."
 'Not all of them, sir," came the re- mark. You've shot at the same bird this last dozen times. Els follering you about, sir' "Following me about! Nonsense! Why should a bird do that?" T dunno. sir, I'm sure," replied the man, unless 'e's angling around for safety"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28

women to wear flow neck" gowns. About third of the women in the world the Chinese and some others-wear pa- jamas or trousers. One pajama girl in comic opera is saucy in America, and d woman who wears trousers downtown is likely to be arrested.
 After all modesty or immodesty in dress Is not due to the cut of garments, but to established custom. It has little to do with morals
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28
suREsT THING YOU KNOW

From the Houston Post.
 The Washington Star says: 'It con- tinues to be hard for prohibition state to do away with suspicious that 1t is leading double life.' It is not the suspicion of 1t, but the copper-riveted. steel-sprocketed. double-vamped fact of it that hurts.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28
INTERsTAYE COMMERCE

From the hehneD1C JourHHI. n T.7f-
 Bath woman found inside of a turkey imported from out of the state. which her husband had purchased, this note: If the finder of this note will send me quart of whisky I will send him . collection of handsome stones picked up alcng the shores of Lake Champlain My address is -----------.and this is very dry country"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28
REFLEcTIoNs OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
 Truth runs a slow race with lie.
 Men groan with faces of horror while women endure with smiles.
 Children are very indulgent to believe in Santa Claus so as to humor their parents.
 When a woman has a good complexion herself she knows nobody else's Is gem uine.
 People who like to quarrel will do 1t in an effort to prove to you that thc" never do.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28
Commercial Travellers

"This is naturally the dullest time of the year in hotel circles" said Manager Bailey of the Hillman. Commercial trav- eers usually get home for Christmas and as rule they do not begin to make their appearance on the road again until about January 10. I understand, however, that several prominent travelling men have notified local merchants that they will be here by January B."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28
AFTERMATH.

Tis' rather drear in Toyland now
 The scene is desolate; The cold French doll, with naughty brow, Has met a dreadful fate. Her head is cracked, her body bleeds
 Sawdust all OCT the place; Whose small possessor scarcely needs
 The scratches on her face. The railway train that sped its rounds At such a merry clip Whats more, however strange 1t sounds, On time most every trip, In ruin lies, the track uptorn,
 A hopeless loss. alasl Who ever dreamed on Christmas morn Such things would come to pass2 That aeroplane so deftIy wrought,
 Forsooth, will fly no more; Nor the auto car old Santa brought, Smash records on the floor. Each animal that owned a voice
 Has lost it's whlom squeak, Or growl or roar whate CT the choice, Quite snuffed out, so to speak. The brave array of Christmas Day Is scattered far and near, Devised for many an hours play,
 To bring some childheart cheer. Twas ever thus-the prize possest,
 Ere long its glamour fades; Methinks, in every human breast !; Such vain hope masquerades.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28
Neu primnrx EIection piIl

George ". Jones, the well-known Mont gomery attorney, is registered at the Morris. MT. Jones Is chairman of the subcommittee of the state democratic executive committee. which drafted the new primary bill. The bill will be n- troduced In the next legislature, and 1t IS generally believed that 1t will be adopted without serious opposition
 "One of the best features of the bill, in our opinion" stated MT. Jones, "is that which makes 1t possible for the man without a fortune to offer himself as a candidate for office. The bill, too. throws greater safeguards around election re- turns. I have heard of little opposi- ton to the bill, and as 1t has the support of the executive committee I believe that 1t will be adopted without strenuous op- position
 The new primary bill does away with the assessment of candidates. Each county pays the expenses of the primary election.
 About Persons
 Julian Smith of Selma is at the Hill man.
 William B. Bankhead of Jasper is reg istered at the Morris.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28
Farm Movement Literature

'The farm movement department of the Birmingham Chamber of Commerce is systematically at work and will soon have it's first installment of literature ready for distribution" said s. Hechinger. sec retary of the movement.
 The committee in charge of this work has spared no effort to get up an attrac- tive illustrated pamphlet setting forth the splendid horticultural possibilities of Jef- ferson county and the advantages offered trucl: farmers in the way of a big market close by. There is not an exaggerated fact or statement in the entire pamphlet The facts are all real facts, and the pic lures show what is being done in Jef- ferson county by small farmers"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28

Thus far Carnegie and Rockefeller are in class by themselves. and no one down this way will be apt to attempt to break into their set.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28

The cut in Pullman berths will aggre- gate S1. .500,O00 year. This is cutting some. It would have been more if the cut had
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28

Republicans think the democrats are taking trouble by the forelock when they select ways and means committee near ly a year ahead of the official time.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28

Indianapolis claims to sell more books directly to readers than New York does. This is what comes from being a center of culture and best sellers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28
DON'T HAVE TO

From the Philadelphia Telegraph
 "A man may save 50 cents by taking an upper berth. and quickly spend it in the ng-car."-Birmingham Age-H Herald
 Not necessarily, old boy Carry 25 cents worth on your hip.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28

Seeing the old year out and writing those resolutions is now in order. Santa is now taking a long nap
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28

In China's new senate there are already plenty of insurgents. It is a kind of poli- tics that sweeps round the world.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28

When you hear the clang of silver dol lars you may know the postal savings banks have been opened.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28

Up north they say they have had but one cold wave. It came in October and is still present.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28

Ane now they say the universities are as wastefully managed as the railroads or the government itself
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28
OLD BILL IS AGING

Old Bill Shiftiess Is getting along in years a trifie. He Is not an old man by any means and is still in full strength, but he Is no longer a kid. Bill is always telling how luck is against him and how the trusts keep him down. But lots of people around here remember Bills boy hood days and earlier years and know exactly what is the matter with him. Bill was always a loafer. He was never known to stick to any job month. All the work he ever tackled was too hard and he couldn't stand for a cranky boss. The boss was cranky because Bill was always shirking and leaning on his spade. It wasn't long until anybody looking for a hand would always pass Bill up and take somebody else. He hung around the stores and borrowed chewing and smoking tobacco and absorbed heat. He had no sense of gratitude and would just as soon
 sting a friend as anybody else. Of course the people are against Old Bill Shiftless
 and they are going to stay that way. Old
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28
Well Known Opera Conductor

"Brahm Van den Berg, who will con- duct Lehars light opera masterpiece, "The Merry Widow" when Henry Saw ages company presents it at the Shu- bert, is well known as a piano yirtuoso,' said M. B. Kirley, special representative of MT. Savage, who was registered at the Hillman yesterday. This brilliant musician has toured the country as a pianist, but he abandoned the keyboard for the baton.
 "In explanation of his retirement as a solo pianist, he says: T gave it ur because was expected to let my hair grow out and to conduct myself generally like an eccentric creature, and this ] refused to do. It's a sad indictment Of public taste and judgment. but it has been true, nevertheless. Audiences like a freak performer and it's difficult for others to get the money that they de- serve
 Wan den Berg was a conductor long before he became an artist. this little Dutchman who has concertized all ovei Europe. In fact. he has had remark able career. He was director of the or chestra at the Parissiennes when only I
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28

f the Japanese are really coming the Californians should build high board fence
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28

The Lorimer whitewash is not sticking nearly so well as Ballinger's. The latter was half glue and half whitewash.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28

Congress should take the magazines if 1t wants to know how to run the gov ernnlent.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28

Suppressed rebels in Mexico seem to be
 as full of ginger as the original sort.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28

Senator Hepburn of Idaho is said to be ambitious to be known as the last stand batter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28

That $1oOOO,OO0 should induce Chicago people to quit calling him 'Jawn Dee.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28

The Panama canal will also adopt a pay-as-you-ente system.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28

James J. Hill is afflicted at times with St. Vitus' dance of the tongue.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28

John D. Certainly outranks Shakespeare in the estimation of the Chicago univer- sity professors!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28
A POINT TO REMEMBER,

"I see where 100000 copies of the Bible were sold last year" "Remarkablel''
 ''Yes, indeed. And they were not illus
 trated by Harrison Fisher, either"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28
About Persons
LIVING ON ss4o A YEAR

"A Woman Who Manages" in Golfers Weekly.
 Editor Golfers Week1y-I was much interested in the article, ''The Way of q Poor Mans Wife" In your comment at the head of the article you class living on $500 per year as Ia notable feat" For two years our expenses for fam fly consisting of myself and two chill dl en, have been less than $500, my sal- ary being s540 If this is at all re- markable, it is more so because l am also the breadwinner as well as the homekeeper. my employment taking me from home from 8:30 a. III. till p. m.. with an hour at noon for lunch Also, for the fact that two of the three members of the family are growing active children, who need abundance of plain, nourishing food. and who wear out and outgrow much clothing.
 I agree with the Missouri housek eep- CT that a record of expenditures should be kept. From my own record for last
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28

II the aeroplanes will abolish war the peace commission should at once subsidize all It can reach
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28

l have called the last item other ex-
 penses," for it had, of necessity, to
 cover all other than the items named.
 It was all we had. No other money
 came into the home except a s5 bin which was a Christmas gift to me. As I promptly spent it for a piece of finery which I did not need. but nevertheless wore with much satisfaction, 1t cannot be included in our resources.
 We do not lack for pleasure. We are good comrades, my children and I. and
 spend many happy evenings with our
 books and games The fudge kettle en- ters Into these evenings often, for I
 consider sweets in moderation an i'm portant part of a child's diet.
 My boy and girl go to school every day I intend them to have the best ttraining that I, with my limited means,
 can give them, but believe that. in fu- | ture years, they will say that the best
 and most practical part of their educa-
 lion was that which they obtained in helping manage ways and means" | in the little brown house."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28

The war scares got in before the maga zines woke up.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

 Bill has sinned away his days of grace and will always be loafer without possible chance of getting up. Luck will never come his way and Opportunity ha; forgotten hin1.-Osborne Farmer. Ahs BACK AGAIN. s-. a,s
 Oh,
 Look!
 Doc
 Cook!
 MARY'S LITTLE DANCE. Mary had little dance, G$ 'Salome" was it's name, And everywhere that Mary went The cops forbade the same.
 -Springfield Union. But Mary didn't let herself Betray the least surprise; She merely murmured. with a smile, It pays to advertise.
 Birmingham Age-Herald. And everywhere that Mary played She simply coined the dough; For every theatre displayed The sign s. R. o.
 Youngstown Telegram. Chicago called it rotten And most broke poor Mary's heart But she took 1t to Milwaukee And Milwaukee called 1t Art"
 Houston Post.
 A WARNING. I'm acting like brute.
 To spoil a fellows fun: Prepare to "resolute''
 On January l.
 LYING IN WAIT. When Christmas shoppers squirm, Where tides of traffic throb, The glad pneumonia germ Is once more on the job
 Birmingham Age-Herald. Since shopping days began Poor dads been in a stew; He'll be surprised, poor man, To get things that pneu.
 Youngstown Telegram. A POINT TO REMEMBER. "I see where 100000 copies of the Bible were sold last year. "Remarkabler' "Yes, indeed. And they were not illus trated by Harrison Fisher, either,
 EASILY PLEASED. "There goes a man who got what he wanted for Christmas" And what did he most desire?' "A nice long nap.'
 A PUBLIC CHARACTER "Tibbs can't decide whether to go on the stage or the lecture platform" What put that notion into his head?'' He lighted cigar with ten-dollar bill last night before a large crowd of spectators
 MOST UNUSUAL. Queer about Huffkins.' "Well?' He's as homely as mud fence, yet nobody has ever said his heart is all right PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28
A PROTEST.

fNO ESI
 "Please ask the orchestra not to play 'Ogling Eyes," said the cranky patron to the head waiter.
 Beg pardon, sir. but that piece is be- ing played by special request"
 q don't care a rap about that. I'm trying to eat spaghetti and I can't do 1t to syncopated time"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28
ADE,s MuCRoBE sERENADE

Old Sol shines now but nine hours day.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28
PATHOLOGICAL.

Bear skin coats are all the rage.'
 "So they are."
 Mother Eve didn't have a bear skin coat" ssNTo. sba rnereiv had a hara slrin
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28
EASILY PLEASED.

'There goes a man who got what he wanted for Christmas"
 And what did he most desire?" "A nice long nap.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28
IN THE MILIIoNAIRE CLAss

Whats he so swelled up about?" Santa Claus brought him dozen yard eggs"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28

He that is giddy thinks the world turns round. Tanning of the Shrew.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28
A WARNINc

I'm acting like a brute. To spoil a fellows fun; Prepare to "resolute'' On January I.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28

 "Tibbs can't decide whether to go on the stage or the lecture platform" What put that notion into his head?" He lighted a cigar with ten-dollar bill last night before large crowd of spectators"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28

Bill has sinned away his days of grace and will always be a loafer without possible chance of getting up. Luck will never come his way and Opportunity Ina. forgotten fin.-Osborne Farmer. ANS
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28

MOST UNUSUAL. :" "Queer about Huffkins." "Well?" He's as homely as mud fence, yet nobody has ever said his heart is all right" PAUL COOK
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28
MARY,s I,ITTT.p DANcE

MARY's LITTLE DANCE. Mary had little dance, l$ l "Salome'' was it's name And everywhere that Mary went The cops forbade the same
 -Springfield Union.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28

sity professors!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28

And most broke poor Mary's heart;
 But she took 1t to Milwaukee And Milwaukee called 1t Art" -Houston Post.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-12-28
LYING IN WAIT.

When Christmas shoppers squirm, Where tides of traffic throb, The glad pneumonia germ Is once more on the job.
 Birmingham Age Herald,
The San Francisco call., 1910-11-05
MONEY TO LOAN

confidential loans on furniture.
pianos, warehouse receipts or security of any
kind; loans can be repaid in easy weekly,
monthly or yearly payments; we win arrange
the loan to suit you. same can be repaid when
ever you desire; we give you the full amount
asked for; there are no advanced charges Of
any kind we win pay them for you and give
yoa more money; it is easier to pay one than a
number we can make you better rates and
terms than any one in the city; 1t will pay you
to call and investigate. ILLINOIS FINANCE
CO., formerly Illinois Trust Co.. 1916 Eddy, n
block from Fillmore; tel. West 6745; S2924.
The San Francisco call., 1910-11-05
CITY REAL ESTATE
sALoAIoN & ESTES. INC.
219 Montgomery street.
Confined


SPECIALS
81, 600 cash-Income g, go a year; s high class
artistic room apartments: select part OF
Western Addition; marble front; entirely
new plan: living room and dining room
Meeting; mortgage OF SS. coo remain;
one OF the best and most conservative in
vestments in the city. II you want some
thing first class, investigate this immedi
ately.
Sc, ,200-Income SS42 year: business property at
Oak and Fillmore: stores and splendid
room cottage; large lot. p :6x112.6- This
pays 16 per cent the investment.
s., 900 cash-Inccme 5000 year; good fats OF
SO rooms. north side Of Golden Gate av-
nr. Scott st: lot 2S:6x120 TO rear street;
full price only $500; must be sold
$6,500-sE. CORNER of Oak and Pierce; lot
27:6x110; suitable for stores and apart
nients; cheapest corner IN the Western Ad-
dtion; only 81 500 cash required.
$4,000 cash-Very comfortable room cottage,
well located on I'd av.; lot 25x120. with a
nice lawn and flowers; full price only
$4,000.
Sc 250 cash-Ineome s.. .260 a year; 3 new and
strictly up TO date room fats, select part
of Ashbury District; entirely new plan ;
living room and dining room connecting:
large lot. 25x13T:e full price reduced from
S1f.500 to $40 250- THIS Is BARGAIN
ONLY So each: Ocean View lots; ought to be
worth 5000 close to car lines: owner wants 20
go north hurry Room 400. Mutual Bank hid.
81. .200-Lot 25x12o; 18th av. near St, Sunset.
Owner. 1929 East 14th St. Fruitvale.