davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1910-12-02
How History 10 Made.

Hannibal and his stan we're pacing
nerrily over the Alps on their faith
'ul war elephants.
Suddenly a man with a tin badge
and chin whiskers rushed into the
roadway and help up his hand.
You stop right where you BEL" he
:ried.
Why should | stop" Numbered
he great Carthagenian as his mahout
looked the elephants ear.
You're exceedin' tn speed limit"
replied the man with the star. An
I'm a duly appointed constable. by
9ecki"
Hannibal was so overcome by this
musing holdup that ne tossed a bag
Of gazoolians to the officer and laugh
ng Historically rode away.
Later on. however. his indignation
pper cut b:s sense of humor and he
roceeded to slam the life out of the
Roman consuls and their picked vet
Grams, forcing the fighting to the very
gates of shuddering Rome.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1910-12-02

Benny's mother coming in quietly
ard pathetic Don't touch!" 1t was
,l!owed by peremptory Don't
,Ich." This in turn was followed by
sharp spat on Benny's naughty
uds
I am surprised at you" said Ben.
5 mother to Benny's aunt. 81
ought you considered that command
ish and unnecessary. / under.
nd that you advocated moral sua.
: md house denuded Of bric-a-
2 rs see you have denuded this.
.!, so | do" declared Benny's
Faliantly though YEARLY. Blu,
ee-er-that is-Benny is an ex.
,ionally stubborn ehild!"
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1910-12-02
NoneommittaI.

Senator" asked the beautiful girl
"are you a regular or an insurgcnt?"
81 must decline. my dear young i1dy
to answer that question. It Is ny
hope that the two wings OF the party
will have come together before It Is
necessary for me to again seek an
election"
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1910-12-02
Murder without Malice.

The dean Of Suffolk School of law.
Boston. sends US the following gem
from a freshman examination paper:
where murder is committed without
malice aforethought IT is a case of
naazlauEhter."-The Green Rag
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1910-12-02
The Real ThIna.

"Oh. May! Jim and Bin fought a
duel over mel"
How romantic. What happenedg
ut was terrible! | came into the
room and those foolish boys wef
pointing big pistols at each other"
Pistols? Heayensi Were they
Ioaded?"
Not a bit They were both sober!'
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1910-12-02

81 say, my man. is that dog of yours
a mongrel?"
mo. sab; amt no class to I'm: jes'
common dog, sab"
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1910-12-02

Ever suffer from air sickness when
you go up in your balloonT"
NO. but I've been confoundedly III
rom diriRibilousness."
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1910-12-02
The Present style.

Pop, who are the people they call
the Underworld"
THE people you see on the road AZ.
Ing their automobiles. my child"
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1910-12-02
And Divorce Courts.

Beck-Do you believe that marriage
IS a means OF grace?
Peck-f;urel Anything is a means
Of grace that leads to repentance.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18

and it's observance will keep you ever
up against your best. That is what
makes one man bigger and stronger
and wiser and richer or more powerful
than agother-the one is striving all
the time, to do his best-not in max
ing money, nor striving for honors.
but in doing good.
The Leader is in receipt of col
umn of stereotyped matter boosting
William Mitchell LAWS for the repub-
lican guberpatorial nomination, which
we are expected to publish for the
great privilege of helning further the
political aspiration of Mr.. Lewis. Tn.
Leader is net hard up for matter to
fill it's columns. but hard up for cash
and will publish political matter tor
individuals at so much per inch as a
matter Of. accommodation.
The treasury depar: ment at Wash
ington estimates the population of the
United States ut 50. 883. 900 and an
nounces the amount of money in cir
culation on the 1st inst. as So, 1874,
O93.50, If equally divided would give
every man woman and child in the
country S34.87. Dig down in your
jeans and see if you can find it and
then, if you fail to find it, imagine
where it can be.
Dr.. Horace Fletcher, the famous
exponent of rational eating. says,
that if we are worried or angry we
should not eat. The trouble, doctor,
is that thousands are worried" to
get enough to eat and thousands are
angry because of the high prices of
all kinds of food.
1t is reported, but we cannot vouch
for the truthfulness of the report,
that Senator La Toilette favors a
county option law. The fact. that he
leans toward the candidacy of William
Nj. Lewis for the republican nOmina-
tion for governor. gives currency to
the report.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18

those who serve the trusts instead of
the people.
Still they occasionally refer to
Philadelphia as 'the city of Brother
ly Love-
President Taft says be wants to
"make good" Make whom good
Surely not Uncle Joe Cannon.
Conrgess, however. should exercise
moderate discretion in seeing that it
does not start 80 many Investigations
that they will get IN each other S
way.
An Iowa woman seeks divorce.
basing her action On the claim that
her husband shores. II takes a wise
man to keep his mouth shut when
asleep.
Teh only thing that Is as cheap as
ever, 10 talk.
''hips are coming back" says a
fashion item. "Where have they
been?" inquiries the CINCINNATI Com
merciaI Tribune. That is her business.
1t is not the national government
which is honoring Robert E. Lee by
putting his statue in the Capitol, but
the state of Virginia, which under the
law IL the sole judge of the qualifica-
ton of it's hero.s for q place there
1t appears that it il the juicy fees
on the side which attract many men
to Congress-.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18

when all is done bring me the grain,
and lie. him have the chaff. :"
There were several morals to the
tale: one is that all of us spend toe
much time looking for the bad. :
Another is that few of US spenC
sufficient time looking for the good.
Another is that in life's great
struggle, and in our social relations,
educational relations and other things,
we place to much value upon non
essentials
Doubtless, az thoughtful reader,
you will find many more and other
morals that logically grow out of the
story, and that will have worth az
applied to your experiences aud man.
ner OF seeing, thinking. living. and
doing.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18

do. Of course there are some OF
them who work. Nearly all the doors
around the Capitol have a dnorkeeper,
and many of them have two door
keepers. Of one thing am convinced
and that Is that these 423 men are not
all engaged in the kind of work which
the records of the Government show
them to be engaged in.
"Among the 423 officers and en-
ployees i find one man employed on a
salary of 81, 400 year as assistant
in the bathroom. There are three
others on the payroll as laburers in
the bathroom. If members of Con-
gross can charge their baths and
shaves to the people and make the
people pay the man who doctors the
corns on their toes. what is to keep
them from charging their jewlery and
groceries to the long suffering public ?
My curiosity is thoroughly aroused
with regard to these officers and
employees. Looking through the list
| find that ninety of them bear the
same names as members of Congress,
and | am curious to know how many
of these 423 are related to those who
employ then, at public expense"
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18
JUST A STORY

Once upon time (rhat is the way
all such stories should begin, we be-
lieve) the ruler of a mighty empire,
who knew his people to be suffering
from many civic evils, and advising
his people how to void them and find
more happiness.
He was not an expert bookmake
and he knew that his errors we're
many, but he had story to tell, he
had mission, and that is what in
terested him.
He sent for a critic and turned the
manuscript over to him to pass upon,
and in tims the critic made his report
in which be set forth that there were
thousands of commas in the wrong
place; semi-colons " ere misused; that
periods and paragraphs were wrong
that in great many places the die
tion was faulty, and that no attention
whatever seemed to have been given
to capitalization; and SO ended his
report.
Said the ruler tc the critic. "De
you find no good in it 20
The critic replied, ''No, my busi.
ness is not to nfid good, but the re.
verse;"
The ruler called his hirelings about
hIm and said to them, ''Tske this
man into the country; give him q
tract of land, and see that be plows
it, and harrows it, and plants it to
seed, and cares for the crop while
growing. When ripened let him bar
vest it. thresh it, and winnow it. and
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18
NEWS IN BRIEF.

Ballinger has turned. and is now
puncturing Pinchot's armor with ar
rows of scorn, denunciatlcn and ridi-
Guile. and no doubt, thinks that he can
square himself with the people.
Uncle Joe Cannon, speaker of the
house of representatives, was turned
down Tuesday with sickening thud.
decision of his being overruled by a
vote of ls3 TO Ill, twelve Irregular"
voting with the insurgents and demo-
Gratis. He ought to BIZ able to take q
hint without kick. and line up with
the people.
Senator Barker has SHE'D his castor
into the field as county option can
didate for the republican nomination
for governor. Down in Nebraska.
Bryan, a democrat, is advocating the
enactment of county option law.
It begins to look as if there was not
much difference between some demo
Gratis in Nebraska and some republic-
ans in Wisconsin.
President Taft spoke last evening
in Chicgo on St Patrick, standing on
soil from the "ould sod" with sham
rock on the lapel Ut his coat an big
as sunfiower. His only claim to
being an Irishman was that he had
kissed the "blarney stone"
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18
POINTED PARAGRAPHS

Secretary Meyer will have to be
careful not 10 build his battieshius
too large for his oceans.
Senator Lodge naturally 10 indig
nant at the peopl, who try to haul the
tariff into the cost of living investi-
cations.
There are in the United States
Senate several men whu we are al.
most sure George Washington would
diaspprovs of, if he were here now.
] There Is q growing suspicion abroad
that not few faces now IN congress
are going to be somewhat conspicuous
by their absence next year, especially
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18

schedule is a distinct innovation in
census methods. 1t is the logical
and practical outcome of the Census
Bureaus persistent effort for some
time past to give the farmers clear
and comprehensive preliminary know
ledge of the Farm Census questions
and to induce them to keep written
records Of their farm operations and
equipments in readiness for the call
of the enumerators, beginning April
| Is next.
-Four million copies of the schedule
! will be printed, and the distribution
of them among farm owners and ten
ants will be intrusted to the farm
enumerators soon after they are COM
missioned, about April /.
Postmaster General Hitchcock has
promised the assistance of his depart
ment in the effective distribution of
the schedules, and he will issue in
structions relatives thereto to the
rural postmasters. They will be
required to address and forward to the
farmers receiving mail at their Offices
the advance farm schedules supplied
them by the enumerator=.
In Z note to farmers on the front
page of the schedule, Census Director
Durand states:
"In accordance with the act of
Congress, the census of the population
and farms of the United States will
begin on April Is. 1910. On or soon
after that date an enumeration will
call at your house for the purpose of
obtaining the required information
concerning your farm.
"Many of the questions which will
De dSh6u YOU CUuCGIulIS Tue equip
, ment and operations of your farm
cannot be accurately answered by you
without considerable thought and the
making of careful calculations or
estimates. Therefore, this form has
been sent to you in advance. so that
you may study the questions at your
| convenience and have the answ ers
written down befure the enumerator
| comes.
"Yuu are earnestly requested to
read this form and instructions csre-
! fully, to write down the answers to
all questions that apply to your farm,
and to keep it until the enumeration
comes. By doing this you can save
yourself much time and contribute
great ~ to the success of the agricul-
turaI census.
| "Besides the information concern
| ing your farm, the enumerator will
also ask you the names, ages, and
other facts concerning the members of
| your household
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18
GRAFT AND WASTE

In recent speech in Congress, Mr..
Dies said, not in humor. but in all
seriousness:
1.-THE House of Representatives is
composed of less than 400 Congress
men, yet We have 423 officers and
employees. These 423 mysterious per-
sons-and l use the word mysterious
advisedly-receive large salaries. OF
these employees, o79 receive salaries
of 81, 900 and upward. Twenty-six OF
them get So. OOO and upward. twenty
get 81, 600 and upward, thirteen get
S.. 900 and upward, and two of them
receive S., 500 each. l am sure | have
never seen as many as 10 per cent of
che entire number around the Capitol
" Once Building. No man has ever
been found who can tell what they
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18
THOUGHTS BY THE WAY.

Prof. j. S. Ricard says, we need
not fear the HALEY comet. Thanks.
professor But should anything hap
pen. we shall lose faith In the learned
gentleman, who, most evidently, does
not know any more about the future
than do other people. But seeing that
he has assured US of safety, we will
run right along about our business.
Senator La Toilette will stump the
state during the primary campaign iE
his own interests, to prevent, if pos
sible. any other patriot from being
his successor in the United States
senate. Mr.. La Toilette is q good
talker and whirlwind campaigner,
ana being q Statesman and leader,
We sincerely hope our democratic
contemporary will support him.
There IS q good deal of cheerful
philosophy in the following quotation
from Jeremy Taylor:
81 have fallen into the hands of
thieves. What then? They have left
me the sun and moon. fire and water,
loving wife and many friends to
pity me and soms to relieve me. They
have not taken away my merry coun-
tenance unr my cheerful spirit nor my
good conscience.
Life - what you make It, the
,aying il old bat of the hes. authority
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18
WdtertGWn, Wis. Friday. March Is
THE TROUBLE WITH THE PARTY

THE TROUBLE WITH THE PARTY
There is an undercurrent moving in
certain channels of Wisconsin politics
that 10 we'll worth considering. Do
you know that legislative candidates
have been listed for every district in
Wisconsin, When we speak of that
we mean that the two factions of the
Republican party are trying to find
out the stand any member may take
in the next legislative hight. They
extend their Investigations into the
democratic districts. What pity at
this time that there is no real live
man getting the democrats into shape
and capturing the next legislature.
But alas! it will BIZ the same old
story. No change, no yigor. but what
is rhe use, it is net our funeral
Reeseville Review.
The trouble, Bro. Hughes, is, that
the mental vision of democrats never
extend beyond their immediate locali
ties and they are unable to grasp the
opportunities in state and nation that
might give them victory. Twice
within tn. past ten years they might
have been successful in the state. but
they fritted away their chance by
fighting each other instead of their
opponents. Their efforts never extend
beyond ward or city.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18
ADVANCED FARM SCHEDULE
Farmers to Be Furnished Copies
Before the Census Begins


Before the Census Begins
Washington, D. c., March Ii, 1910.
A great increase in the accuracy of
the census returns from the farmers,
a considerable saving of the working
time of the farm enumerators, and
the removal of much of whatever mis-
spprehensioEs and preludices may
exist among farmers with regard to
the census are the important results
expected by the United States Census
Bureau to follow the use of the
Advance Farm Schedule, which has
been adopted and will BIZ circulated,
through the rural postmasters. among
the farmers a short time before the
actual census taking.
The employment Of this advanced
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18
AT THE CHURCHES
FIRST NJ. f. CHURCH

Public worship at 10 a. m. Theme
"How Far the Church is Responsible for
the Conversion of Men"
Sunday school at II a. m. Lesson:
forgiveness and Healing"
Epworth league at $50 p. m. Topic:
Maintaining the Spiritual Life, How to
Fight tbs Good Fight" IL. A. Form
crook, Leader.
Evening service at 7:30 p. m. Theme
of sermon-"GOd Holding Inquest Upon
the Moral Condition of Cities
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18
PIPERSVILLE NJ. E. CHURCH

Public Worship at / p. m. Theme of
sermon: "HOw Far the Church is Re-
spOnsible for the Conversion of Men"
Sunday school at 2 p. m. Lesson, "F0r-
givpness and Healing"
i. Lounsbury, Supt.
A cordial invitation is extended to all
Pipervillians and friends in surrounding
region to attend.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE


First Church of Christ, Scientist, SER
vices held every Sunday at 1870 a. III.
Subject: Matter"
Testimonial meeting Wednesday even
ing at 500 o'clock. All cordially invited
to these meetings. Reading room, cor
Fifth and Spring streets, open every
afternoon, except Sundayfrom 2:30 until
4:3O o'clock.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18
MORAvIAN CHURCH

Sunday School 9:15 a. m, Preaching
Service, 1890 a. M; Y. P. S. G. E. $50 ..
m. Evening service, 1880 p. m.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18
Sl.5O Per Year Strictly In Advance

Sample Copy Free. Advertising Rates are
Furnished on Application.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18
ST. PAUL S CHURCH

Sunday services: Holy Communion,
a. m. Sunday school, $50 a. m. Morning
service, 1890 a. IN. Evening prayer,
500 p. m.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18
GERMAN NJ. E. CHURCH

Sunday school at 8 a. H., preaching at
1915 a. m. Prayer meeting Thursday at
7:3O D. N. each week.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18
ST. HENRY's CHURCH

Low mass at Z a. M; high mass at Il
a. NJ. yespers at 3 p. N.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18
ST. Marks LUTHERAN

Rev. ] Klingman. pastor. Sunday
school at a. H., sermon at 10 a. m,
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18
ST. JOHNS LUTHERAN

Rev. H. F. Eggers, pastor. Services
$50 a. III. and 7:3O p. M; Sunday school,
z p. M.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18
REFORMED CHURCH

Morning services 10 a. M; Sunday
school IL a. m.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18

Sunday school at 10 a. m; sermon al
II a. M; evening service at 7:3O p. III.
All cordially invited.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18
Affection (SALEM) CHURCH

ALICETUN TSALEMJ CHURCH
Sunday school at p. m, and preach
ing AT %. III. All are welcome.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18
EvANGELICAN LUTHERAN

EFANUELIJAN LUZ HEhAN
Rev. Otto Petit, pastor. Sermon at 10
a. M, Sunday school, 8 a. m.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18
EVANGELICAL PROTESTANT

Rev. Herman Sterz, pastor. Services
10 a. M: Sunday school 9 a. m.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18

ST. BERNARD's CHURCH
Low mass at a. n. high mass at 10 80
a. m; yespers at p. IN.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18

Prudential AGENTS are now
canvassine IN this vicin-
ity. They have { most
vital story 70 ten Of how
Life Insurance. has saved
the home, protected The
widow, and educxsed die
children. let kza ELI
Il to you.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-18
ADVENT CHRISTIAN CHURCH

ADVENT CHRISTIAN CHURCH
Sunday school at 10 a. M; sermon al
II a. M; evening service at 1870 p. ID.
All cordially invited.
ST. JOHNS LUTHERAN
Rev. HI. F. Eggers, pastor. Services
$50 a. ID. and 7:30 p. m; Sunday school,
2 p. M.
ST. HENRY's CHURCH
Low mass at a. M; high mass at 10
a. N. yespers at 3 p. N.
EvANGELICAN LUTHERAN
Rev. Otto Petit, pastor. Sermon at 10
a. m, Sunday school, 8 a. m.
ST. MARKS LUTHERAN
Rev. ] Klingman. pastor. Sunday
school at 9 a. H., sermon at 10 a. IN,
ST. BERNARD'S CHURCH
Low mass at s a. n. high mass at 1870
a. M; yespers at 3 p. IN.
EVANGELICAL PROTESTANT
Rev. Herman Sterz, pastor. Services
10 a. M: Sunday school 9 a. m.
REFORMED CHURCH
Morning services 10 a. M; Sunday
school IL a. m.
The Fargo forum and daily republican., 1910-01-22

Jan. 2O.-At Bismarck there were
three reports made from the judiciary
committee upon the ursury bill. The
majority report was made by r. j.
Thompson as chairman of the com
mittee, under instructions from the
majority of the committee, and this
was followed by the personal report
of Mr.. Thompson against the bill.
while General Williams disagreed with
both reports and asked leave to sub
NIT another one
El Zagal temple announced cere-
monial session for Fargo. Feb.22.