The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1910-03-10

lmpdllenCe, SAID Uncle EDen, Is
ginerally de feelin' you has when you
wants somebody else to hurry an make
up fob de time you's been wastin'"-
Washington Star.
Father-What, You want to marry
my daughter? Why, sir, you can't
support her. / can hardly do it my
self. Suitor (blankly) -C-can't we
chip in together?
Gentleman (hiEing valet)-Then
understand you to have some knowl-
edge of barbering. You've cut hair, off
and on? Applicant-Off sir. but never
on.-Boston Standard.
HE lives on the fat of the land
said man to q friend, indicating a
passer-by in the street. What bust
ness is he in?" Hes the proprietor
OF an anti-fat remedy"
"Why, Henry How does it happen
that you can't spell even the simplest
words?" Il can't spell 'em if they
amt in our spellin' book, can I?"-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Here's a remarkable gold coin |
want to show you, old man. Eth?
This is an ordinary half-eagle. What's
remarkable about it?" 1T belongs to
me.'-Boston Transcript
Mrs. Hutton-We are organizing a
piano club, Mr.. Flatleigh. Will you
join us? Flatleigh-With pleasure.
Mrs. Hutton. What pianist do you
propose to club first?-Tit-B Bits.
Knicker-w What's Smiths idea of
himself? Bocker-He doesn't think
anybody else can do thing he can do.
and he doesn't think anybody else can
do a thing he can't do.-Puck
The father-Did mamma punish you
to-day, Tommie? The boy-Yes, sir.
What did she. dog" Made me stay
in the house while she was taking her
singing lesson. "-Yonkers Statesman.
Wigwag-W What, roses, Don't you
know a girl never marries the fellow
who sends her flowers? Oldbach-
Sure / do. That's why / always try
to keep on the safe side.-Philadelphia
Record.
Sufferer-Doctor, don't you think
that a change to a warmer climate
would do me good? Specialist-Good
gracious, man, That's just what
am trying to save you from,-New
York Times.
Enraged Creditor-Ive had enough
OF mounting all these stairs every day
to collect this bill. Debtor-Well. /
can tell you piece of news that will
please you. After tomorrow, I'm go
ing to live in the basement.-Pele
Mele.
$50 when Bella rejected Jack, ne
went Immediately and proposed to
Maud?" "Yes; but that wasn't the
best of it. What do you think? He
gave Maud an order on Bella for the
engagement ring."-Boston Tran
script.
Did you ever have appendicitis? %
said the insurance man. We'll,
answered the skeptic. 81 was operated
on. But I never felt sure whether it
was case of appendicitis or a case
of professional curiosity. Washing
ton Star.
Some men are so queer" "And you
are going to tell me OF one particularly
queer one" Yes. It's Mr.. Barberton.
His wife used to beg him for nickels
and dimes, and now he's cheerfully
paying her a hundred week for ALI
mony "-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
81 hope you will be interested in
yonder gentleman" said the hostess.
Il have assigned him to take you out
to dinner" Il shall be-" responded
the lady addressed. THAT gentleman
was formerly my husband and he's be-
hind with his alimony. Washington
Cd. c. Herald.
Woggs-You seem to be very proud
of your youngest son. He must be a
Judging from the papers, | think he
is the only 12-year-old boy in the coun-
try who hasn't invented a perfect wire
less telegraph, submarine boat. or
aerOplane.-Puck.
"You will admit that doctors some
times make mistakes, won't your
"Oh, yes, the same as lawyers" was
the cool reply And doctors mistakes
are buried six feet underground"
was the lawyers triumphant reply.
Yes" he replied, land the lawyers
mistakes often swing in the air.
Philadelphia Ledger.