Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-04-07
AS 1T REALLY
HAPPENED

Tickets"
The broad shouldered. firm jawed,
resonant voiced conductor flung open
the door of the parlor car of the IA
| nous express train and uttered the
word almost in tone of command
Immediately all the passengers
lolling in the chairs proceeded to get
busy hunting up their tickets, so that
when the conductor reached them they
had their pasteboards ready.
All but one
This one was a ruddy faced, we'll
groomed. fine looking elderly gentle
man with white side whiskers
He fumbled in his wallet for his
ticket, but it wasn't there. Then he
began hurried search of his pockets.
Nothing doing. The ticket wasn't in
any of his pockets.
by ginger!" he was heard to NUT
ter, cit seems to me that 1 brought
those"
Then he stood up and made sys-
tematic search of his pockets. turning
over old dogs cared letters, formal
looking papers and heavy looking en-
velopes tied with red tape.
But he didn't find what he was look
ing for.
Then he clawed his Gladstone bag
down from the rack above his head.
tugged at the lock and finally got it
open. He spent several minutes in
turning the contents of the bag topsy-
turvy, perspiring all the ting and NUT
tering quite petulantly as he went
through the performance
"Tickets!"
The broad shouldered, firm jawed,
resonant voiced conductor was tower
Ing right over the well groomed elder
ly gentleman with the ruddy face and
the white side whiskers.
"Say-just minute, will your" said
the elderly gentleman, not meekly at
all. to the surprise of the other pas
sengers. II know that I put those
pesky passes somewhere, but they've
got away from me for the moment
just pass on to the next car. will you.
and in the meantime I'll see what in
tarnation has become of them"
The conductor of course scowled
as all conductors with a proper appre-
citation of their position do in like cir
cumstances But he went to the next
car and the elderly gentleman con-
tinued his fruitless search He gave
1t up after ten minutes and leaned
in ic nj, al
Presently the conductor returned
and bore down upon the elderly gen.
tleman with ponderous stride.
Your ticket, sir, if you pleased"
said the conductor sharply, fiicking the
punch ominously.
Il haven't got any ticket, blast it.'
broke out the elderly gentleman. Lost
it, l reckon. But here's my card"
and the elderly gentleman handed the
conductor his pasteboard, which
showed that he was the first vice.
president of the road
The conductor po6
However, just moment.
Right here the rule, if followed
would have the conductor remark
grouchily to the elderly gentleman
that, card or no card, vice-president or
no vice-president, he'd have to show
something emitting him to ride on
that line of cars or stand for a toss
off at the next station. Then the
according to rule narration would 90
on to tell how the elderly gentleman
was filled with admiration over the
conductors strong sense of duty and
how he dug up the price of his fare
in good money and how, little while
later, the conductor found himself an
pointed division Superintendent of
the line. and so on
Nothing whatever of that kind hap
pened, however.
oh, very WE'LL SIR" said the con-
ductor. bowling and scraping profusely
as he turned the vice-president's card
over in his hand. Don't mention II
The pleasures mine. OF course Won
probably dropped or mislaid the pass
somewhere But it's all right. Are
you comfortable, sir? Is the porter
taking proper care of you? Fine day
for travelling. SIR"
"Uh-huh." replied the first vice-presi-
dent of the line. looking out of the
window
I'm DANCED glad l didn't get chesty
or new with that old gazoob before /
got next to who he was" murmured
the conductor to himself as he passed
on again to the next car.