Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1910-01-14
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| Diu youI new cHduHeur TURN out
all right?" NO; that's why he's in
the hospital. Puck.
He-When shall we get married!
She-Oh. John! why do you take our
engagement so seriously Fliegenes
| Blaetter.
Young Woman (adoringly)-It must
be awfullly nice to be wise and know
-oh-everything! Yale Senior-It is
Yale Courant.
What beautiful head Of hair you
have, my dear" do you like it?"
Yes, indeed. Where did you buy it?'
Detroit Free Press.
Fat Lady-Yes, sir, that's the beauty
of keeping fowls. If hever run short
O. meat, or Pm In 'urry, l always
fall back on hegg!-The Bystander.
Vicar-Im sorry to hear you've been
SO poorly. You must pray for good
heart, Thomas. Thomas--Yaas, zur;
but it's my liver wot be wrong, ys
know zur.-London Taller.
Little Willie-Say, pa, what is a
synonym? PA synonym, my son,
Is word that can be used in place
of another word when you don't know
how to spell the other-The Wasp
Blobbs-Why do you liken Harduppe
to the busy bee? Hes not particularly
industrious, is he? Sobbs-Oh, no; it
isn't that; but nearly every one he
touches gets stung. Philadelphia
Record
THE trip has had Its discomforts,"
said Noah. as the ark settled on Mount
Ararat YES" replied his wife. But
1t is comfort to land without being
troubled by the customs inspectors."-
Washington Star.
You want speedy car, of course?"
You bet" How about hill climb
er?' "Oh, don't keer to go after
pedestrians to that extent. Just gim-
me machine that will get EN- on the
fat. at."-Pittsburg Post.
Wife-I don't see how you can say
that Mr.. Whitechoker has an effem-
mate way Of talking. He has very
loud voice. Husband mean by an
effeminate way of talking. my dear.
that he talks all the time.-Bazar.
Scot-A bohemian Is a chap who
borrows a dollar from you and then
invites you to lunch with him. Mott
Wrong. A bohemian Is a fellow who
invites himself to lunch with you and
borrows dollar.-Boston Transcript.
Miss Prue has theory for reform
ing the world" What is it?" THAT
mothers ought to exchange children
because they always have such strict
ideas how other women's children
should be brought up."-St Louis
Times.
Il say Jones, dine with me at the
house tonight, will your Certainly,
with pleasure. Will your wife expect
me?' mo; that's the beauty of 1t.
We had quarrel this morning and
want to make her mad"-Peekskill
Palladium.
Father" said little Rollo, what Is
the difference between farming and
agriculture?" well, my son, for farm
ing you need plow and harrow
and lot of other implements, and
for agriculture all you need is pencil
and piece of paper Washington
Star.
Old Lawyer (to young partner)-
Did you draw up old Moneybag's will?
Young Partner-Yes, sir; and so tight
that all the relatives in the world
cannot break 1t. Old Lawyer with
some disgust) The next time there Is
will to be drawn up III do it my
self-New York Sun.
Blacksmith Ito young MANI
think you possess the necessary quail
ifications for blacksmith? Young
Man-Yes, sir; was member of the.
football team at college Blacksmith
(dubious) You may be strong enough,
young man, but this business demands
brains as we'll as strength.-Life.
Constituent-Say. Bill, the salary
that goes with my job isn't half
enough to live on. Can't you use your
influence to havA 1t raised a little?
Alderman-Tm afraid not, Jake But
I'll do better than that. I'll use my
influence to have cheaper man ap-
pointed to the place.-Chicago Trib-
une.
Peckbam Injecting an old friend)-
Why, Dingley, is this you? l haven't
seen you for ten years. How are you,
anyhow? Dingley-Oh, I'm Just like
l used to be. BY the way, Peckham,
hows your wife? You used to say you
had the boss girl when you were sin
gle. Peckham (sadly )-Shes still