davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02
WOMAN UMPIRE RETIREs

From the Washington Post.
 The world of baseball suffers loss
 To be sure, the defection is not known
 upon the circuits of the great leagues,
 nor will it be heralded in their ann phith eatresa But In its way the loss Is none the less real. The strategy of Cupid has won a decisive contest over what would have been the pagan patron of baseball had that game been nunl- bered among the rnythological sports Of festive, if not always harmonious, Olympus.
 Thus gently may be heralded the Announcement that Miss M. Louise Davis, teacher in one of the public schools of Orange, N. J.. is to retire from her favorite avocation of umpire to make decisions in the affairs of her own household. It must have been with sad hearts that her youthful nine threw up their, caps and cheered this final verdict of mcbride. Perhaps those who have heard--and seen-the dra = matic recital of Casey at the Bat may
 wonder at the feminine courage that would dare to undertake the role of
 umpire. Surely, she must have pos sessed the adroit wit of a Portia. thus to have come to judgment in the court of the diamond. Yet hers was cour- age as voluntary, as heroic, and as
 unselfish as nominally perilous. Fossil
 bly her safety lay in the absolute fair ness of her decisions; more probably 1t was rooted In the chivalry of her lads. 1 for there is nothing more gallant, un- | less 1t be his devotion to his mother, than the allegiance of the wholesome
 sch oolboy to good woman teacher. He
 may in times. of querulous- tui bulence
 need her reproof, but he prefers the happiness of her approval to the awk- ward discontinue of her displeasure. It ought to be certain that this school
 ma ams unusual experience, wherein her rulings must have been as fair as herself has made her friendly to the field of domeshcity. Probably the fortunate bridegroom, learned during
 courtship that there Is no appeal from
 her decisions. Hers is the final torc
 and there can be no argument, although
 there may be more than one diamond
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02
Bright Prospects

The Birmingham district starts on the second half of the year with wonderfully bright prospects. The six months just passed have witnessed a high degree of prosperity in local banking circles and in most branches of manufacturing and mercantile enterprise, and the coming six months are asslredly full of promise
 The pig iron market, in which compar- atively low prices have been prevailing for some time past is still dull, but 1t is reported that many hopeful signs are ap- bearing. In the east buying this week is said to have been of large tonnage Out side of the pig metal trade industrial operations in the Birmingham district have been, as a rule, very profitable With continued good crop reports Bir- mingham merchants will have d high record summer trade
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02
Convicts we'll Treated

'Whenever I see anything in the papers about the i'll treatment of .convcts, my at tention is quickly aroused,'' said James A. Wood the well known Birmingham rep resentative of an eastern shoe house.
 "Convicts are not only not ill treated in this district, but they are exceptionally well cared for. l have seen great deal of convict abor in the north, and there fore know how to make comparisons, No- ysfere do convicts enjoy as much free dom as they do at such mining camps in the Birmingham district as work them and not only so, but the convicts em- ployed under contract by the Tennessee company, the Soss-Sheffield, the Pratt Consolidated and other companies here abouts have good, clean and substantial food and a great abundance of it.
 q was recently at Banner mine owned and operated by the Pratt Consolidated Coal company, and inspected with much interest the convict quarters there. Why, if anything could brighten the life of a convict 1t would be the humane treatment he receives at a place like Banner. By the way, the Pratt Consolidated is ar ranging to give its convict labor a grand Fourth of July barbecue.
 Ut always gives me pleasure to testify to the humane manner in which our coal operators provide for convicts, and ! greatly regret to see any unfriendly crit csm or misrepresentation touching this question The heads of companies who are all the while trying to better the con- dition of every man who works in the mines, whether convict or free, certainly deserve commendation."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02
Episcopal General Convention

"The next general convention of the Protestant Episcopal church of the United States-a triennial body-will be held in the coming October In CiRannati, and as a matter of course, r.any Interesting mat ters will be considered and some of them disposed of said an Episcopal clergy man.
 "One of the questions to be pressed will be that which relates to changing the name of our church organization from Protestant Episcopal to that Of 'Ihe American church. This proposed change has been coming up in the general con vention for years past, but it seems that the ritualists are determined to make stronger and better organized fight than at any formr convention. The conserva- tive element in the church. however, is largely in the majority and 1t will not al low the name to be changed certainly until more befitting term than the ono proposed can be found.
 Another question that will probably be debated is that of dividing the county into provinces with metropolitan or archbishop at the head of each province. This will hardly be done at the Cincin- natl convention for here again the con- servative element will prevail; but there are many points in favor of establishing provinces and having metropolitans and suffragans and some day this system will be agreed to.
 "The general convention being com posed of all the bishops, called the house of bishops, and clerical and lay delegates, forming a lower house. called the house of deputies, a splendid array of talent Is assembled.
 Our greatest debater in the house Of deputies for long years past will be missed at Cincinnati. I refer to the late Dr. William R. Huntington, rector of Grace church, New York. who died since our last convention. Dr. Huntington was singularly ready in debate. He was a man of strong intellect and strong character and I have never heard any one in off hand speech who had such felicitous use of words as Dr. Hunting ton He used just the right word. He never failed in that, and that habit or faculty is one of the marks of the scholar Dr. Huntington will be sadly la mented.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02

From the New York Sun.
 There probably is no boy in Greater New York who can boast of a stranger collection of playthings than that own ed by the young son of a physician liv- ing on Park avenue. The boy has the entire second floor of his fathers dwell ing as play, room. Although he has plenty of mechanical toys the boy pre- fers to play with his menagerie. This consists of a colony of frogs, a rabbit, a bull pup, turtle, two white kittens and six chipmunks. Through patient training the boy has succeeded in getting the bull pup, the kittens, the rabbit and turtle to eat from one bowl at the same time.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02
THE POTENT PROFESSOR

From the New York Times
 Germany is the happy land of the pro- lessor nowhere else does he receive such consideration. Imagine humble member of an American college faculty playing the naughty role which the New York Times attribute to one of the famous professors at Heidelberg. One day the authorities of that city ordered that the street in front of the professors house should be paved If you dont stop that noise," remarked the pi ofessor to the payers, T shall give up ny position as a member of the Heidelberg faculty.' The payers stopped work at once. The mu- nicipal authorities sent around to in- quire respectfully of the professor when they might pave the street. "W hen l take my vacation" he replied. Then. and then only, was the street paved
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02
GOT HIS RECEIPT

From Lppincotts.
 He had run up a small bill at the village store, and went to pay it. first asking for a receipt.
 The proprietor grumbled and complained it was too small to give a receipt for. It would do just as well. he said. to cross the account off, and so drew a diagonal pencil line across the book
 Does that settle it?" asked the GUS tomeH.
 Sure"
 An yell nlyer be askin' for it aginr
 Certainly not"
 Faith. thin," said the other coolly, "an' III kape me money in me pocket" But can rub that out,p said the store keeper.
 ''I thought so," said the customer drys Fly. Maybe yell be givin' me receipt now. Here's yer money"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02

From the Louisville Courier-Journal. TNvERY state has its standing can T didates for office. In South Caro- - lima "Jim' Cansler, or "the Hon Jim Cansler,' as he is more frequently called, or Colonel Canser. as he is also known, Is the standing candidate for the office of railroad commissioner. This time he proposes, to win. To en- dear himself to a music-loving people he has turned poet. South Carolina is flooded with his verses. The mocking birds are hiding their diminished heads hile the poems in which Colonel Cans Ter lauds himself are read aloud by his admirers to those who neglected their education. ''Tirzahs candidate" as Colo nel Cansler calls himself, begins one of his campaign poems with the following stanza:
 James Cansler is a candidate
 For Railroad Commissioner;
 He's pleading for a better rate For freight and passenger. The poem ends with this: And his firm purpose, plan and plea
 Is for the Palmetto State To be served as good as any, and he Will give us just as low rate
 Between these two are seven in which Colonel Cansler, in feet of different sizes shapes and malformations, tells of the sins of railroad commissioners and of railroads: promises to put an end to all abuses guarantees new stations, better roadbeds and speaks kindly of the qual- ities of mind and heart which make Tir- zah's candidate famous.
 Tn another poem Colonel Cansler strikes stiIl more personal vein. There are six stanzas in this poem. The first, sec ond and sixth are here reproduced:
 James Cansler is a gentleman,
 As everybody knows;
 He has a broad and generous smile
 He wears whereer he goes.
 He's a man we'll educated,
 Firm, solid and sedate;
 He has a common weakness.
 He's a standing candidate And when you've tried him one term,s If he should prove unworthy, Then drop him from the list And send him back to Tirzah. At the last primary Colonel Cansler re ceived 500OO votes, as against 2s.oO0 in q previous race. He had not then hit upon poetry as rabble rouser. According to Charleston correspondent his literary campaign will insure his victory at the approaching primary
 Colonel Cansler is evidently "gen' man oh slbility,'' as the negro voters of South Carolina put it. His persistency arises. of course, from an unquenchable desire to serve his state, and his resourceful- ness inspires respect. But the thought !, ful spectator who views the campaign | from afar, and is not influenced by Il personal acqtlaintanceship with Colonel Cansier and sthe charm of his sedateness and everlasting smile. will view with alarm the prospect of his victory. It is stated bsy the Charleston correspondent that Colonel Cansler has pledged himself | to write book of poems covering the whole subject of railroads, their mis- deeds, the need of remedial legislation. the venality of the bench the corruption O., lawmaking bodies. anG other topics. in the event of his winning the nomina- ton. With dog days approaching, the cure for pellagra still undiscovered and the hookworm rampant, the prospect O. encopntering volume of poems from the pen of Colonel Cansler is diseoutaal IH. a|I
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02
RLuE-BELLs

.'one day. one day, I'll climb that dis
 tant hill ,g7tI ss3st,
 And pick the blue-bells therel"ssA So dreamed the child who lived beside
 s the Till E.sa
 And breathed the lowland air. "One day. one day, when I am old
 I'll go And climb the mountain where the
 blue-bells blowi" One day! one day! The child was now maid, |t A girl with laughing look! She and her lover sought the valley glade iat4t Where sung the silver brook lssOne day" she said, love, you and ] will go And reach that far hill where the blue bells blow!' Years passed. A woman now with wearier eyes Gazed towards that sunlit hill- Tall children clustered round her. How time flies The blue-bells blossomed stiu. She'll never gather them All dreams fade 50. ! We five and die. and still tho blue-
 bells blow.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02

and the soil and the nsarness to markets and the wide range of products are all on the side of the south, and in the long run practical western farmers will see that new and comfortable homes can be made in the south in less time and at less ex- pense than they can in Canada, where the railroads take the major part of the prices of products.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02
REFI,tscTIoNs OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
 It's very dangerous to trust man who won't trust anybody.
 Grief that ennobles woman seems to make fool of man.
 A girl can take al much pride in hay. ing A cold heart as she doesn't in hay ing cold feet. |. Money is so hard for man to get because he thinks it's going to be SC easy to.
 Travelling is the greatest enjoyment when you don't know when you are SO '4nx to ret home
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02

Cleveland's chief Of police, MT Kohler, came out of two weeks hearing and POO witnesses fully Yindicated, and the golden rule is now considered re-established in that city.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02
Too Much Water for Fishing

"Verily of late it never rains but it pours, and streams are at full flood tide and some are overf1owing, and there is no joy for fishermen" said a man who delights in the rod and reel.
 Think of it that here in Alabama the fish are being literally washed out of their homes or drowned with mud; I mean game fish. And then read of streaps going dry in Colorado and men using a pitch fork on the stranded trout.
 Well, 1t cant keep up raining for ever, and l believe that the August fishing will be the finest ever. When the catalpa trees begin to shed fat worms the fishermen will be on hand to drop a few with hooks in them to the eager Dream and trout"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02
vrHE DEADLY FOURTH

From the Guntersville Democrat.
 The Birmingham Age-Heralds art ist displayed four maimed hands and a sane Fourth. Thee artist could mt show the shattered nerves and ruined hearing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02

Mayors proclamation will therefore bene- fit everyone and injure no one. I hope that similar action will be taken in other cities of the south, for the fight is of the great interest D nine out of ten per sons of either pnpe and 1t is only natural that feeling should arise.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02
A Desirable Convention

w. A. CheEoweth of Birmingham, prom inent in the hardware trade, in referring yesterday to the recent annual meeting of the southern hardware jobbers, held ar Atlantic City, said that he would en- deavor to have the meeting in 1912 here. The meeting next year is to be In San Antonio. 'tff
 'In order to entertain the southern Hardware men We need more hotel ac- commodations. Our jobbers' association usually has in attendance at its annual meeting about 200, but as the National Hardware Manufacturers association al- ways meets with the jobbers the total number to be provided for on these o,- cssions is something like 800. Of course such a. gathering would be especially desirable for Birmingham. Hardware manufacturers are the very people this distl jet should attract and impress, and I believe the jobbers will be glad to vote for Birmingham. It is possible tha. the million-dollar hotel project which has been much discussed will materialize by 1el2. This city surely needs granG, ur-to-date, fireproof hotel.''
 MT. Chenoweth said that in visiting the principal cities in the south between Washington, D. C., and Birmingham, re gently he found business conditionsN high ly satisfactory. 'I was in Norfolk and II, Richmond, he said, "and both of those Virginia cities were as prosperous as usual. Richmond is very wealthy city and is now growing at a fastes rate than ever before. Norfolk too is pushing right ahead. Atlanta has lone been and will always continue to be, q wonderful city-wonderful in it's public spirit and wonderful in its achievements. In speaking of crop conditions Mir. Chenoweth said they were good all ove. the south. and especially fine In Alabama
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02
.Gus. THOMAS, AMENDMENT

Beau Broadway in the New York Tele graph
 Augustus Thomas said in his speech al the Friars' dinner to Abbot. Rumsey al the Hotel Astor the other evening:
 Coming over on the ship last week C young Chicago newspaper man was called upon at the captains dinner, to respond to the toast. Here's to the ladies!' The young fellow said: I don't speak, but il you will give me a minute l will write, and this Is that which he wrote:
 " Here's to the ladies;
 Not too young, for the good die young, And, who wants a dead one?
 ITO which the playwright promptly moved to amend by adding as follows;
 Here's to the ladies;
 Not too old. for the old die. too,
 And who wants a dyed one?'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02
e"JIM" CANSLER OF. TIRZAH

ing outside of South Carolina, no matter how much the gentleman from Tirzan may be pleasing his constituents. And so remarkable work could not be con- fined to the narrow limits of a single state
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02

There are more homeless persons in New York than there are in London, and London fig by far the larger town. but then it has no Aldrich tariff.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02

Ex-Governor Proctor of Vermont gave his son a plane mountain for birthday present rather than something in the way of speed madness.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02

No railroad magnate asked the Pres ident for the pen with which he signed the railroad rate bill.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02

The members of the Illinois legislature cannot understand why Senator Gore did not take the money when he was offered d bribe of s50,000
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02

The election in Mexico would have been unanimous if the iails had been larger
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02

Governor Gillett expects his opposition to the prize fight to land him in the United States Senate. His expectations
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02

MT. Sibley's s4o.e9s of political ambition Congress will be asked to investigate it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02

The corporate interests will do their level best to re-elect Senator Lodge, who is up against an insurgent uprising.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02

The man who attempted to bribe Sen ator Gore should be turned over to the fool killer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02

It is hot in the United States where peace reigns and still hotter in Nicaragua, where hot revolution is In progress.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02

The high cost of living has driven a University of Illinois professor to the use of skunk meat, and he considers it ap- petizing
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02

Governor Hughes is no weather vane. and the colonel will soon ascertain that fact
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02
Approves Mayors Action

T feel greatly elated over the an nouncement that the white people and the negroes of the city are to be sep arated on the Fourth when the prize fight returns are flashed, said resident last night. The possibility of trouble would have been very great the other way and Mayor O'Brien cannot be complimented too highly on the diplomacy of his ac- ton.
 Tt is not only safer for the white peo- pie but for the negroes as we'll There are many good negroes, men who are good citizens and who want to see the returns as well as anyone. If any trou- ble were started these men would be in As much danger as anyone else. and the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02
HELPS AT HAND.

HELPS AT HAND. If your ma-in"law Has too much jaw, Call a cop. If your wifes inclined To make you mind, Call a cop. If your boy is bad And beats his dad, Call a cop; When things go wrong, Don't wait too long Call a cop.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02
NEVER

In days of old, When knights were bold, Ofttimes they rose at dawn And wildly sought Their foes and fought.
 But never moved the lawn.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02

Boise Penrose as leader of the Senate majority would cause all to regret any thing they had saH about the esteemed Aldrich.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02

The, g charges against Chief Kohler were dismissed and so was the. hoodoo.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02

When San Francisco got rid of the fight it secured a sane Fourth.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02

An orgy of graft directed against the five civilized tribes of Oklahoma was un- covered by Senator Gore.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02

Heat prostrations are now divided sun strokes and beerstrokes with an occa- sional ice-water-stroke.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02

Watch Tacoma york; says the Spo-
 kane spokesman-Review. Can't see Ia | coma from here.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02
WHERE THEY ARE BARRED.

"You see pretty girls figuring in all kinds of advertisements these days"
 Yes; they serve to advertise nearly everything except suspenders and safety | razors'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02

Brute force is about to have an in- ming at Reno. Nev.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02
CHARACTERISTIC.

T see where forger was chased all
 over the country by means of key to
 the knee joint of his cork leg'' Was Dr. Watson along?"
 What are you talking about?' "I can't imagine anybody but Sherlock
 Holmes being on a trail like that"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02

A Missouri preacher has said that he
 would like to see the fight al Reno. Just hear his congregation buzz
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02

The man who rocks the aeroplane Is in
 our midst, as it were. He's a trick aerial jockey,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02
 REPLIES.

There Is a fortune in it for the man who invents a combined dressing-gown and nightshirt.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02

The Outlook office is the scene of mob nearly every day.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02
WHAT THE DENTIST DOES.


 Kansas editor with a vivid imagina- tion describes what takes place at den- lists office, as 1t appears to the helpless victim. Nearly everybody has been through the mill'' and great many will agree that the Kansas editors estimate isn't far wrong.
 Did you ever have tooth filled? No. Well, 1t is the greatest sport on earth for the dentist. First he handcuffs you and ties you in chair. Then he jerks your mouth open, turns on a searchlight and begins poking around inside with crowbar After an hour or so of jim tanning around, he. wheels up a big der rick with a well-drill attachment and pro- ceeds to dig for oil in the prospect hole he started with the crowbar. He drills right down through your jaw, on through your lungs, your heart, your liver and everything else that happens to be in the way and never stops until the bit strikes fire on the iron in the chair seat and then only because he's afraid of damag- ing his office furniture. Then he pulls the drill out and exchanges the bit for one of these emery wheels that black
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-02
OuITE A BURDE.

'Tm a sef-fnade man.
 Its courageous of you to shoulder the blame.'