The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-05-14
THE EVENING STORY
Catching Step.
(By JEANNE o. Loizeaux. }

plouoed aIong with his set OF books |
at Bennison's for ten years. He had
| come there when he was twenty
five. Now the hair was thin at his
temples and little gray. And he no
longer hid from himself the fact that
there was a small bald spot on his
crown. He did his work well, but
he had become a fixture-he made
wages twice in the first four years
he had been there, but no raise had
been mentioned since. He dared not
mention it because they might refuse
it. and his pride could not let him
remain after that. But he could not
lose his job. There was the old
mother at home, bedridden for years.
And. year ago, she had died. He
had not yet paid all the doctors
| store: Akers was honest, and paid
| installments as he could. He had
| given up the small house in the sub
| urbs where. after and before work,
| he had taken almost the entire care
of his mother except when she was
at her worst. Then he had had to
| hire woman Anxiety had laid its
! fearful hand upon him. And youth
| had taken wings and fled
When he was almost thirty, the
year his mother first took to her
| bed, there had been a girl. She was
pretty. and gentle and sweet, bill
ing clerk in the office. but a born
|
| fort, and though she was not much
past twenty she mothered everybody
in the store impartially. from the
skulking smoky cat to Akers. She
love to, and everybody loved her.
The other girls took Amy Bartlett
their little jealousies and rivalries and
the men took courage from her.
morning after he had been up all
night with his mother and had been
told that her case was hopeless, but
that she might live many years-to
the fact that he loved Amy Bartlett.
After that he kept away from the girl.
He could not bear to be near her and
remember that common decency and
honor kept him from saying, 81 love
you"
So his life became a starvation, for
hearts must be fed-and minds. He
I no longer found time to read any
thing, or even to go to church, or
ever to the theater-he could not af-
ford the latter. And he found he
must sleep when he could, lest he be
so weary that his office work suffer.
From doing his work confidently,
gladly, it became a drag and
trouble. He might make a mistake
and lose his place.
It was about a year after he had
reached this point that Amy came to
him a moment one day when he was
feeling so tired and blank that he
not said more than a casual word for
months. and now her nearness
| brought a feeling akin to hysteria to
his throat. He was afraid that in
spite of himself he would break into
tears, or put his head down against
her woman's arm for comfort-he so
needed comfort. A sort of gruffness
was his only safety.
had offended you in any way" she
said rather timidly. I'm So careless
of what I say, and you've-well, we
used to be friends. and 1 thought I
that hurt you Or This was more
than he could bear, but he managed to
be very steady and formal, and to
speak with a set little smile.
= "No indeed, Miss Bartlett not at
all You've always been very good.
I've only been busy-my mother is
sick at home and I've had to be up
nights-and I'm sure you've never
said anything" And then. because
he knew he could not bear her ques-
tons of sympathy about his home
life, he turned from her to answer
the senior partner who was about to
ask him something. The girls eyes
J were plying and pitiful, but she went
away.
A few weeks after that she took a
position in another store, and he never
saw her-not even on the street.
Then his mother grew much worse
and much more trying, and he was
up more at night, and the bills be-
came more frequent. And his work
his one effort was to do his work
we'll. and it was done. No fault could
} be found with that. but all human
spotaneity left him. He had lost
step. The girls did not smile at him
and throw Jokes and slang his way.
The partners called him "Mr. Akers, "
r not the jovia1 John" he had been for
: the first years. And then he insured
l his life. In spasm of self-searching
: he thought 1t his duty. He might be
killed in street car crash on his way
nothing to his mother and his cred
itors. His filial duty and his honesty
2 made him thus further slave.
One day he heard the girls in the
} office talking about a party the force
was to have. His name was men
toned. They were not even care
lest he hear them: One of them
wanted to invite him. but another
thousand years old-and entirely out
! of the running He realized this
: He knew he had lost step with the
, march Of Joy y, and Pros prog res a,oa M.
firm gave him two weeks off, on
pay, and perfunctory condolences
He went home and managed the
4 funeral. made the few distant rela-
e tives who could come as comfortable
Y az he could, wrote letters. faced an
+ empty house. Then he knew that
I trying as the half insane, peevish
: unfoving old woman had been, her
[ absence was a terrible thing. His
T heart was empty. He faced the fact
e which was not the worst thing he did;
: he accepted it. which was fatal. He
i not only recognized loneliness and fail
e ure and limitation-he accepted them
Y He had ceased to fight.
: When the two weeks were over he
: went back to the office. He gave W
: the little rented house and moved tc
s a cheap boarding place. It was not
d comfortable, but neither was debt
: He settled down to work and the stooI
lin his shoulders was more marked