Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1910-06-03
Army Jokes.
~~~~~~~~~~

Every old soldier knows how a good
joke dispelled the blues and walked up
some corner of the camp. One or two
of these rise up before me and demand
recognition.
When the Twentieth Ohio Infantry
entered Camp Chase not few Of them
were up to any game that promised
fun. One day tall, awkward-looking
specimen came to camp as new re-
cruit. The boys soon found out he
was as green as he looked. They
asked him II he had been mustered
in, and he answered, mo"
Then" said one of the boys, the
sooner you are mustered in the better
You cannot draw pay till you are"
We'll, I am ready, but don't know
what to do"
Boys" said the wag of the crowd
''let us help the poor fellow; 1t won't
take long to muster him."
A messenger was sent to the hospital
steward for some mustard for a sick
man. The recruit was taken to an
empty shanty, large mustard plaster
applied to his chest, and he required
to lie still until it would draw. After
ten minutes he began to wiggle, and
exclaimed, by Jove, boys, this bites
'Pshaw," said one, we've all been
there
Ten minutes later he yelled, Eel
lows, this burns like h-ades."
"Oh," said one fellow, ten minutes
DON'T In n hoh
The thirty minutes elapsed and the
poor fellow got up and walked about
with the air Of conqueror. He was a
soldier anyhow. In few days he saw
the joke, and no one laughed louder
than he.
Poor fellow, in the battle Of Ray.
mond, Miss, the end Of his tongue was
shot off, it was said by the boys, while
INDUCING in some tall sEearing.
When the Twentieth reached Port
Gibson, Miss, some of the boys en-.
tered a deserted bank. Here they
found pile Of notes or bills Of vari.
Gus denominations which had never
been signed They took lot with them
and some one suggested that if signed
they would pass for money. Various
signatures were appended, such as
Uncle Sam, President, and John
Brown Cashier" Just as the foragers
thought, the country people accepted
them gladly. ]. c. Meracle, of Com,
pany l, bought lot of honey and gave
twenty-dollar bill in payment The
lady could not make the change, and
he generously told her it made NO
odds. When he entered the road and
Joined his company some one said to
him: "Meracle, you may never eat
that honey" He answered: 1.-THE bull.
let that is to kill me has not been
made yet" Poor fellow, he was one
Of the first to fall, shot through the
head.
When the Confederates reiterated
rapidly in our front, their double
quick savoring of the run, one Of our
drafted men rushed after them in adj
vance of the line Colonel Force called
out to him to know what he was doing
there The fellow suffered badly and
answered, "Co-co-curnal, wa-wa-
wanted another po-po-pop at them"
Pat Nugent, Of Company G, was
wounded in the arm and declared, II
will never forgive the dom divils. "
Pat made application for a pension,
but failing to get any went to Wash
ington to find out what was the mat
ter with the machine. While there he
happened to see John A. Logan, and
running up to him said, "Begob, Gin
eral, you're the man l want to see.
You know was wounded at Raymond,
an I want a pinshun and dom the
clint I can get" The Senator went
with him to the Pension Bureau,
looked after his application, and Pat
now receives two dollars a month.
Just enough to buy tobacco, begob."
"Reminiscences of General Sherman.
A contributor to one of the Sunday
Daners of Washington adds another