The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1910-06-23
HERMAN N. MIDT9o BECOMES
HUMOROUS AND sATIRIcAL

7OmOHOOS AND SATIHICAl
The Donnybrook Man Who Is the
Youngest United States Senatorial
Aspirant in United States Tells a
Good Story.
Ten or fifteen years ago congress.
sional asp.rant in one OF the western
states wasmeeting much difficulty in
his candidacy The people were
skeptical as to his simon pure mo-
tives because much Of the most de-
hasing kind of political corruption
had been carried on in that district in
the previous election and some of
these corrupt politicians were favor
ing his candidacy. He became en-
barrassed, consulted confidentially his
friend i'll, and two weeks before cleo.
ton the people were astonished to see
the following above his signature.
The Office-Seeker's Platform
No man can be truly great without
money, and the easiest way to get
money is to take it on every occa-
sion, no matter whose 1T may be. l
mean to be truly great. It is safe to
say, the way society is now constitut-
ed, that an honest man is fool;
and if knave is not the noblesL
work of God, then what is he? think
that it is very we'll put, what is he?
Look at him as he moves in the high
est circles Of society, staggering
along the sidewalk, talks OF stocks,
bonds, and mortgages, and boasts his
untold wealth, and say what is he?
As for me, mean to move in the
highest circles Of society. am going
to congress to make money. shall
refuse no bride, and shut my eyes to
corruption. l care nothing for my
That is their business;
constituents; let them look out for
my business is to get money and be
truly great, and move in the highest
circles, of society. Honesty Ia the
best policy for everybody but me. I'll
none of it. Not I. ~
l do not propose to steal from any
private individual, and make myself
answerable to the laws; but If any
man wants a job put through, by
which the people can be robbed, and
a large share of the plumber find it's
way into my pocket, you may count
on me. am not common ruffian;
] am a heightened congressman. L
do not knock man down with blud-
geon, and 60 through his pockets; but
l offer my congressional services, and
then It is nothing to me who knocks
him down after that. can only say
that I fear he would be poor picking
after get through with him.
l am man Of enterprise. go in
for railroads and canals, not so much
because these things are public bene-
fits, as because they open a channel
fer wealth to flow into my Golfers
from the pockets of the unsuspecting
public. There. is nothing better than
money. My religion is money. My
patriotism Is money. am perfectly
willing to be a patriot If am paid TOR
1t. am for sale. Whoever pays my
price can have me. I am not the
only philosophical patriot Of this
kind in the United States. You can
find hundreds Of them in every place
Of public trust, from a petty post
master up to the most dignifled SEN
ator. They all love their country
for money. ..M
Grab and grasp IS the watchword
of the day. Steal while you can, for
when you are dead, politically or ply
sically, you can not. A few addle-
pates talk about putting honest men
in Office; but it can't be done. We
have the power, for we have the
money; and the more money we got
the more power we shall have. We
have struck mine, and we don't
mean to let go our grip. Honest men
ant cope with us, because they are
not up to all of the tricks of the pro-
fessional politician. Oh, no, tell
you honesty is at fearful discount.
The people don't want IT. They pre-
fer being bled by knaves and rogues;
and I, for one, am perfectly willing to
let them have their way. Let them
bleed If they like It. Fellow citl-
gems are not my sentiments. They
are not the outspoken words Of any
-office-seeker. Oh, no; NUT ssAC-
T1ONs SPEAK LOUDER THAN.
WORKS s{sta