davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-17

That latest war scare about the I'M
preparedness of the Pacific coast to
repel attacks also came as timely foil
to the gift of s10;OOO,OOO by Andrew Car
negie to promote the cause of peace.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-17

Colonel Roosevelt advised the stud
ents of Harvard to go into politics. But
he did not have any advice to offer them
as to how to succeed in politics.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-17
ANOTHER ONE.

<aA<o I1fSEk Yin T.
DEAR SANTA CLAUS:
This is to let
You know that 1 am living yet
cor still,-I am not certain which,)
And wouldn't care. If 1 were rich
For anything you have in stock
from rubber doll to jeweled clock;
But as I'm not, and it's the style
An application thus to file,
just I'LL my sock in manner deft
With any junk you may have left.
And, with this brief request close;
Sub Rosa.
P. S.-Dear Claus, most forgot
70 firmly state that do not
Desire photograph, and that
NO tail Self-cocking opera hat
can lind a place in my boo-dwah;
Again; the color line L draw
On freckled neckties, and 1 need
No Bottlecreekish breakfast feed.
outside OF these. will not pike;
But say. old Socks, 'gofarzhalike."
The senate was convulsed with n1er-
rlment over his first speech. Where
Young instead of LATE Young.
In their search for the johnson coun-
" murderer, the officers have sifted
down their choice of suspects to one
Jonn Doe There are other suspects,
ANeOo as SOl1lAlOHs While
John is preferred stock.
And 1T is to be hoped that they catch
MN. John is undoubtedly the worst
criminal at large.
It now appears that the diamonds
Mrs. Eddy willed Mrs. Stetson, were
purchased by the latter and presented
10 Mrs Eddy nine years ago. Such
pelng the case, the significance of Mrs.
Eddy's bequest of her diamond crown
TO her sometime rival, is slightly dim
ned.
In the Valley of the Blind, the one
eyed man is King."-Ancient Spanish
Proverb
This Proverb is so very old
That no one knows for sure who
wrote it.
But thousands to the maxim hold
And to their own affairs devote if.
Ihe Total Failures of our tribe
The teachings of this saw in1bibe
Although they may not quote it.
Each Worthless Dub is sure that he
Could rule supreme,-were he per-
mitted
To choose his subjects, and would be
The cheese in toto where he fitted;
But in his search he's failed to find
That mythic Valley of the Blind
Or subjects who submitted
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-17

Roberta De Janon is now in possess
sion of her grandfather's millions. and
such being the case. it is a safe bet
that her little escapade with the
Jewish waiter will not lower her stock
in the matrimonial market.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-17

A man in Lacrosse, Wis, laughe !
himself to death at a funny story.
Don't you wish you knew the story so
You could tell it to some of your &C
quaintances?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-17

A commission of scientists are trvino
to determine the reason men beat their
wives. They have gathered up a nice
collection Of reasons, but have over
looked the principal one, which is, be-
cause they can.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-17
KANSAS COMAENT
THE WITCH DOCTORS.


The other day Walter Wellman, the
airman, proposed a flight across the
Atlantic, and to secure favorable re-
suit ne took with him black cat as
mascot. Did he believe that the black
cat would make his voyage successful?
apparently so, for, a story tells us, the
cat dropped off into the water, and IN
rear OF the bad luck that might re
suit he stopped his craft and fished up
the cat and again proceeded hopefully.
we Judge that there are even college
students who. would expect to lose a
football game if their mascot were TO
be lost OF die
Being careful once in your life will
peat all the mascots in the world. And
IL you VIII add to your determination
10 be careful determination to be
falr, Industrious, modest, polite, and as
enectlve as possible, you have solved
all OF LIES problems that can be solved.
You may talk all you please about the
zig problems of life, but rest assured
they are all contained in the little list
printed above.-Atchison Globe.
PLENTY OF WORDS, FEW DEEDS.
Life is full of paradoxes. We stood
quietly by the other day and listened
heart which seemed full of sympathy
Tor the oppressed poor. He bewailed
condition that would permit such
wrongs as he said were today heaped
upon the weak by the strong. Very
good-that is the talk was, but to our
knowledge the spokesman has done very
little to alleviate the condition that he
says exists. 1t is all right to have well
defined humanitarian ideas, but after
all doesn't the man who does some
thing even if in a small way. to re-
l1eve or improve the condition of those
near at hand accomplish more than the
fellow who has a lot to say about the
condition Of the poor, downtrodden of
earth. If a man stops with lamenta-
ton and never turns his hand or helps
to contribute to the relief OF the poor
that are nearby his theories don't count
for much.-Colby Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-17

A New York boy has been bequeathed
$4,000 on condition that he does not
become a preacher. The condition IS
our idea of an easy one; but it is dol
lars to pretZels that the youth will try
to break into the ministry Hundreds
of boys would never think of using to-
bacco if they were not forbidden to do
so.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-17

FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-17

Let another man praise thee, and not
thine own mouth; stranger. and not
thine own lips. Proverbs XVII ?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-17

And It is to be hoped that they catch
MN. John is undoubtedly the worst
criminal at large
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-17

In their search for the Johnson conn
" murderer, the officers have sifted
down their choice of suspects to one
John Doe. There are other suspects,
put they are rated as common. while
John is preferred stock.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-17

The senate was convulsed with ner-
riment over his first speech. Where
lore we will hereafter spell it Lar
Young instead of LATE Young.
The fool-killer., 1910-11-01
WELL, I'LL BE DARNED!

Darn the American fag!" In
the patriotic days Of old the
above expression would have
been considered treason of the
blackest hue. Edward Everett
Hale tells us about a fellow who
got himself into a bushel Of trou-
bic by putting it just a shade
stronger than that.
But in order to clear myself
from any charge of treason, I
hasten to explain that Darn the
American tiag' is the latest order
Of the administration. The new
order is said to be in line with
the government policy Of re-
trenchment. It means that the
starry banners which float above
all the government buildings
must be treated like an old sock
they must be darned when they
get holes in 'em.
Heretofore, when flag was
worn to frazzles by Tapping in
the breeze, it was thrown away
and a new one put up; but now
Uncle Sam is going to economize.
He is going to get out his old
rusty darning needle and darn
Old Glory till it is all darns, and
then darn the darned places.
Now amt that "darned
poor way to economize? If the
old studded fool would put
his brogan down good and heavy
on some of those bilion-dollar
army and navy appropriations,
it might help some. But the idea
Of your Uncle Sam taking a piece
of his shirt-tail and patching the
old worn-out flags, and at the
same time building more costly
battleships- looks to me like
saving the hair and throwing
away the hog.
The fool-killer., 1910-11-01
NUMBER TEN.

in their mouths: Where is he
that is born Bull of the White
House, for we have seen his pic
ture in the papers and have come
to see him suck? 2"
Great is the offspring of Paul
inc Wayne! Bring out the fam
lily Bible and record his name and
birth-date. Write it in letters Of
gold, for he is prince among
COWS.
Let the poor mans child go
ragged and hungry. Let it die
of cold and starvation. Nobody
cares. But the big mans calf
must have attention. It must be
petted and pampered and comb
ed and cared for like a baby, and
if it gets the belly-ache the world
must know it. A spraddle-legged
bull calf, if it happens to be born
at the White House, is more val
liable than thousands of mere hui
man children. Oh, that we might
all be White House calves! Then
we would be noticed.
The fool-killer., 1910-11-01
A JACKASS-FIRING MA
CHINE.

History tells us that once when
Gen. Arney went out to fight the
Indians, he strapped a Gatling
gun onto the back of a jackass,
then backed the jackass into po-
sition and started the music Af-
ter the battle was over, the In
dian Chief said:
eve are not afraid Of your
guns and your bowie knives, but
when you begin to fire jackasses
at us we want peace.'
Gen. Arney evidently knew
his business, and I wish [ could
hire him to fire some more jack
asses | know. I would like to buy
machine that would fire jack
asses. You bet I'd keep it busy.
[ would take it to Washington
first Of all and fire the jackasses
who misrepresent us at the Ma
tional Capital. Then [ would
fire the jackasses who voted for
the other jackasses. Oh, [ tell
you [ could have lots of fun with
one Of those jackass-fring ma
chimes.
The fool-killer., 1910-11-01
VOLUME ONE
AMT 1T so?

Old sOrdid sin is boss on wheels,
A-kickin' an buckin' to beat the
band;
If ever you get in the way of his heels
There amt no tellin' just where
you'll land.
The devil can pose as a perfect saint,
And lot of the fools believe his
lies;
An the science Of passin' for what
you amt,
1s the crucial test of the worldly
wise.
The fool-killer., 1910-11-01
SOCK, CALFY, HERE'S
YOUR NANNY.

Washington, D. c., Nov. 8.-There
was an addition to the White House
family today when Pauline Wayne,
the first cow of the land, gave birth
to a husky boy calf in the White
House stables. The youngster weighs
100 pounds. At the stable it is re-
ported that both mother and infant
are doing we'll. Pauline Wayne is a.
COW of wonderful pedigree, presented
to President Taft by Senator Steph-
enson, of Wisconsin, -Womans Ma
tional Daily.
Sock, sock, sock! Moo, moo,
moo! Beezlins! Calf-rope! Hell
labaloo! Get down the old ban
jo and bring out the little
brown jug and let's all get drunk
and celebrate. This is a red-let-
ter occasion in the history Of A
merica. Nothing of such far
reaching Importance has happen
ed since Heck was a pup. All
other subjects dwindle into moth
ingness when compared with this
glorious event. Shout it from the
housetops and proclaim it in the
streets! Publish far and wide
the glad tidings that the Stork
has visited the White House sta
bles and that the first cow Of the
land has fotch forth a newborn
calf.
How sweet and soul-satisfying
it is to know this, and to know
that both mother and infant are
doing we'll. 1t was very kind of
the Associated Press to run a
special wire to the stable and to
open temporary headquarters in
the hay-loft. [ don't know how
we could have borne up under
the disappointment if they had
neglected, to do this.
And to those faithful news
papers which sent their staff art
lists to get pictures Of His Ma
jesty, the royal bull calf, our un-
bounded thanks are due.
i I know it must have been a
holy sight to see President Taft
and his Cabinet go trotting out
to the stable to do homage to the
new arrival. | guess they hireo
about five trained nurses at forty
dollars week to teach the young
gentleman what his legs were
made for and to train him up IL
the way an official calf should go
Imagine the Wise Men o1
Washington marching up Penn
)sylvania Avenue with this sons
The fool-killer., 1910-11-01
MoRAv1AN FALLS NORTH cARoL1NA, NOVEMBER, 1910
A PRETTY GOOD IDEA.

Well, bless my life! They are
about to get it fixed at last. just
put on your spex and read the
following dispatch which was
sent out from Nuremburg, Ger
many, on October 3:
German naval experts are ex-
perimenting with a 'crewless war
ship that can be started, stopped
and steered, and the guns of
which can be fired by wireless
from shore. The model, the size
of an average motor boa5, has
been operated with unfailing ac-
curacy within a radius Of Is
miles. All the apparatus on board
is controlled by the shore opera
tor.'
Now wouldn t that make your
grandaddy grunt? Going to
dress up a big feet of death-ma-
chimes in their best bibs and
fuckers and send them off to sea
all alone, just like a woman bund-
ling her kids off to school. Not
a soul ON board to see how they
behave, but they are going to be
entirely under the control Of a
wireless operator on the shore,
and he can start and stop their
engines, load and fire their guns,
make them retreat, forward
march, or turn around-all done
by the silent and unseen power
men call Electricity, and that
over miles of space with no visi-
BILE connection. Now if that ism t
about the limit, then I don t know
what the limit is.
But that opens up new field
for speculation. If one ship can
be handled that way, then others
can. If Germany can do it, then
other nations can do it, and SO
when the next war breaks out
the contending powers can just
rig up their fleets and send them
out to the high seas to fight it
out. That style Of wireless and
manless warfare will save a great
many human lives, and when one
feet destroys the other, that
ought to settle it.
A soldierless war! Just think
of it! That would seem to be
one step in the right direction
but I'm afraid it won't satisfy
this old wicked world-there viii
not be enough blood in it.
The fool-killer., 1910-11-01

My ginger-mill was rusty when
I started The Fool-Killer, but I
am now getting it in jim-dandy
working order. If you want me
to do your grinding for a year,
just send along your corn.
The fool-killer., 1910-11-01

Turn out one gang Of grand
rascals and put in another. That s
the idea. Whoop-ee!
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-04-05
FORMER EMPLOYE
Of LIBRARY DEAD
Mrs. Daniel O'ConneIl
Brought Home From San
Francisco for Burial.

The funeral Of Mrs. Daniel O'Conneu.
formerly employed IN the Congressional
Library, was held upon the arrival OF
the body in Washington from San Fran
cisco. yesterday.
Services Wee held at St Stepbenrs
Catholic CnUrcHS the Rev. Father Froe-
lich officiating. Burial was in Oak Hill
Cemetery. Many of Mrs. O'ConneIrs
former associates in the library attend
ed the funeral, several coming from a
distance.
Mrs. O'COnnell died last Tuesday AT
her home. in San Francisco. following
an illness Of one week She was for
merly Miss Eva J. La yton, Of this citv.
and for more than ten years was en-
ployed in the Congressional Library. She
was native of this city and was a
graduate Of Central High School.
Eight months ago she was married
here 10 Daniel O'Conneu, an attorney.
Of San Francisco. and. -esigninz her
position in the library, accompanied him
V San Francisco. Her death was sud
oen and unexpected and came as q
shock TO her friends in this city and n
her relatives.
Besides her husband she is survived
by three brothers, three sisterA. and her
mother. '--A il''
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-04-05

Suppose that CO.. represents the ce,,-
Ter from which the waves radiate, and
thta one Of my needles IS placed at a.
and another at b" Thcn by observ-
ing the direction ard ne inclination 10
one another, OF the Tddi5i lines ca"
ana C-B,' ana the direction Of the
dotted line joining item, and knowing
the distance between "A and b, YOU
nave all the elements needed for a sn-
pie. triSonometrical calculation, which
VIII give the location Of the point &C -
IhlS. however. applies only TO the
case where waves are sent out ''undi-
rected' on all sides. With directed
waves, which are now most universally
employed, as they were at the tine Of
which / am writing, a variation of the
process is required. 1t IL then neceg-
SaTy that -hc waves shall he sem
either simultaneously or at an interval.
from LRe point separately ID 80
and B This being done. the res II
Is the same rs before, the location II
CO.. being determined.
In die latter case, a single instrlI-
meHt will suffice. being used first at
a. and then at 'B."
! knew that the last. described method
would have TO be employed, since. as
l have already explained. Payton was
sending directed MESA geS to Mr.
Grayman. although the latter's replies
were necessarily ''undirected." heca.,,;e
Payton would not designate his location
and the waves had 10 be sent out OF
all sides in order TO find him. The only
problem for US, I saw, would be to in
duCe PaytOn TO communicate, in sue
cession, from the same point, with two
widely separately stations.
As soon as he should have done that
I knew that I could spot" him
Having thought this out and fur
bished Up my apparatus TO make sure
that IL was in good working order, I re-
turned with It to AIR, Grantham's Office
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-04-05
BeautY-DOetOr's New Shamnnn

professional hair dresser. recently told
about the new shampoo which is now 60
much in vogue in smart -hair-dresSinr g.
adjustments. Turkish towels are heated
so hot that they can scarcely be borne in
the hand. The head is rubbed with these
and a frequent change OF towels sholIIJ ne
kept UP until the hair is entirely f-ea froT,
superfiuOus oil With these shampOos once
a week the hair soon takes on its natural
DTiliianCy and in the course Of time NAV ey.en
appear more brilliant than Nature intended
There are women who. Notwithstanding ar-
care they give their hair in the wav N reg1IIa.r
brushing and shamDoOing still are troubled
with gray hairs coming in long before The
natural time. This is probably owing To
wrong diet or fretful disposition. or HORN
The SureSt way to overcome this and tn ra-
store the hair TO It's natural color is to use
that old standard preparation. HAYS
HAIR HEALTH, which is safe to aDnIv
and furnishes the necessary nourishn,e6f 70
the roots OF the hair. causing a healthy
brilliant and natural sheen. At driITGists
50 cents and 81 per bottle or the na1ufac-
turers. Philo Specialties Co. Newark. n. J..
L. :. A.
Peoples Pharmacy. Reh's Modern Phar-
macy. Stevens Pharmacy, Spark Bros. 2
stores,
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-04-05
DRY" PARTY WINS
IN 10 COUNTIES
Saloons Voted Out in Many of
Largest Michigan
Cities.

DETROIT. April 5.-Nineteen Michi-
gan counties viii be "dry' as a result
OF the local option elections held
throughout Michigan yesterday. Over
300 saloons were voted out OF bust
ness. Sixteen counties voted "wet" at
the elections.
OF the ten counties that have been
dry for two years, Oakland and
Wexford voted wet" the other eight
remaining with the 'drys"
Lewanee county, containing the city
OF Adrian and sixty-five saloons: Shi-
wassee county. cOntaing the city OF
Owessa with fifty saloons. and In
graham county, containg the capital
city Of Lansing with ffty-four sa-
looms. all voted dry"
The municipal election resulted IN
the reelection OF George r. Ellis, Re
publican, Is mayor OF Grand Rapids
Gustave s. Heine, Democrat, was
elected mayor OF Bay City, and
Charles Farrell. Republican. mayor OF
Kalamazoo.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-04-05
THE SKY PIRATE 5a' 5'i55: { !E57i5
Copyrighted by the
Frank A. Munsey Co.

and down. while Grayman smiled pa
tronizingly.
Have you got the direction sureY'
asked the secretary.
i've got the axis Of progression Of
the wares 10 a nicely. They G. me
from the north, but OF course / az
Vet know nothing about the distance
that they had travelled in coming here. .
Then We'H get himi' exclaimed Mr.
GTantham. He's agreed TO Communal
cate 20 Buffalo tomorrow"
But are you sure that he sent his
message from hi lOdge2" I asked.
Not a doubt OF II. Mr.. Grammar
got that ont Of him by inquiring about
his daughters health. and he replied
that she had Just gone TO her room
with Susan. in excellent spirits
"Eut viii he communicate fror, the
same place tomorrow
Have no fear about that. He told
Mr. Grayman that they were r-oirs,
fishing in the morning. and thai he
would call him up at O'Clock.
Then ] replied. equally unable IN
retain my delight. we certainly have
got him.
The Continuation Of This Story VIII
BE Found In TOmOrrOvy's
Issue of Phe Times.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-04-05
PIPELINE BILL
PASSED BY HOUSE
Right of Way Grained Across
Public Lands Of
Arkansas.

With no one on hand 10 attack the
octopus" as did Senator Jen Davis
IN the upper body. the House has
passed BY a unanimous vote the bin
granting the right OF way across the
public lands in Arkansas for oil and
gas pipe lines
Representative Robinson OF Arkan-
sas fathered the bill in the House. as
did Senator Clark, OF the same state.
IN the Senate
The demand for the legislation. ac-
cOrding TO those favoring II. arose
because OF the fact that II is NECESSARY
10 provide an outlet for the large
surplus OF OIL in Oklahoma, a pipe line
for this purpose now being conteu7-
plated by the Prairie Oil and Gas
Company. This line NUS cross about
seven fOrty-aCre tracts Of public lana
in Arkansas.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-04-05
FRENCH HOSPITAL
FUND is GROWING

Ambassador Jusserand. Of France.
has announced that the fund for the
aged poor and trained nurses at the
French Hospital in New York City.
which is directed by the French Bone
violent Society, has been increased by
a donation o. 5000 from Mr.. and Mrs.
Edward Tlksl, of Paris. This makes
$4,000 the Tucks have contributed The
Tucks are members of the American
colony in Paris.
It is expected that the proceeds from
the bazaar being held this week at the
Metropolitan Opera House will amount
10 $4,000. This with the contributions
from the TuCks, Thomas F Ryan and
others, which amount 10 another $50. 900.
insures the erection Of the building.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-04-05
Synopsis Of Chapters Already Published

Helen Grayman. daughter Of a New
York Millionaire, IS abducted from her
room, along with her maid Susan Jack
son. by Capt Alfonso PaytOn. a noted
sky pirate. (The time Is June, 1850 They
are carried 20 thick woods on his aero
plane, Chameleon, and placed IN care OF
Mrs. Williams. his housekeeper He Is a
Standardization, cultured and refined
Helen believes Il a prank arranged by her
friends. He leads her on by saying ne
is Commodore Brown. u Washington. Her
father agrees TO paw the money He an
cages Police Commissioner Braman who
stations four aeroplanes in woods TO cap
ture PaytOn- Captain destroys the aerOs
and kills number Of men. Helen thinks
Payton has gone 20 repat- the aero Of her
friends. Captures. but returns Grayman
20 New York. Returns 20 woods and gives
Helen forged letter from her father. Helen
sends one 10 her father. Ora yman calls
in Secretary Of the United States Treas
ury Grantham, who promises assistance
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-04-05
PATH DISCOVERED
ON MT. MCKINLEY
Expedition Finds Gap in the Ice
Believed TO Afford Means
of Ascent.

SEATTLE, April Sword has been
received that a path has. been dis
covered in the ice leading TO the sum
NIT OF Mt. Mckinley. This informa-
ton was contained IN letter written
by Thomas Lloyd, a member of the
Mt Mckinley expedition, which is
climbing the mountain. and, accord
ing TO Lloyd, discovered the path.
This expedition had reached an al
titude of 1900 feet when an almost
perpendicular wall OF ice arose before
them. The climbers found a small
gap in the ice. and they believe they
have a route before them which win
make. climbing 10 the summit com
paratively easy