The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-01-13
Llkes 7he Eteyna/ Fem1uzne Bnf
 Has No Use For Her When She Falnts
Hrglars Downed By Masculine Woman-The Sex Nowadays Distinctly Mannish Grumbles Mere Man-Tendency
 Is Decidedly Bad-Aroused By Commotion
Rv DOLLY DALRYMPLE.

middle-aged, too-drinking beer and rid ing on merry-go-rounds and aerial rail- roads. Is that a proper way for lady to conduct herself? I consider it out rageous and unfeminine."
 You're an old foggy just out of the ark" I protested.
 T took my old aunt to Coney once" said he, lat night, when the lights were lighted and all the bands playing, just to see what, in her opinion, we are com ing to-"
 "One doesn't come to much on a merry go-round," I interrupted. ''Usually back to the starting place"
 "she was perfectly mortified" said he. going straight ahead. needless of my in terpolations. .'She was so shocked I could scarcely get her away from the place. She even insisted upon going on the chute-the-chutes so that she might investigate everything fully"
 T ruined perfectly clean white skirt on one. l remember very distinctly" I reflected. whereupon I received the iciest of stares.
 T see women travelling alone," he con- tined, T see them checking their own baggage, arguing with baggagemen; see them at the theatre alone; see them standing up in street cars holding on to straps. as If they really enjoyed 1t; I sec them pushing and elbowing through crowds without appearing in the least terrified. Why, some of them even wear short hair like men, and stiff collars and ties and mannish boots and smoke cigar ettes.'
 Well. what on earth do you expect an unattached female to do? Stay at home and sit up with the cat and pet the poll parrot?" I demanded.
 ''Yes, to the first part of your state ment," he acquiesced. "The latter Is very silly. Of course. woman who has no one to go with her should stay modestly and retiringly at home, like her grand i, mother used, to do. I heartily and great ly disapprove of the new woman"
 And if there were such a thing" I announced, "she would heartily and greatly disapprove of you and your views"
 revived by the stronger sex and want to be petted and cared for and looked after as though they were children he flung back at me.
 At this psychological moment of our amicable discussion there came a sound of hurrying footsteps and mumbled words and some one rushed up the steps and broke into the office panting and blow ing and crying, "Helpl Help!"
 "What Is the matter?' asked the mere man, as the breathless messenger caught sight of us.
 Perhaps a lady in the office next door has caught bold. bad burglar" I couldn't help saying scoffingly, and then the messenger demanded to know if we had any smelling salts concealed about our persons or perchance a nerve-sooth- ing lotion or some burnt feathers. a-t's-the-m-a-t-t-e-r?" growled the mere man.
 "A lady has tainted" cried the terrified lad.
 "Goody! Goodyi Isn't this delicious surprise for you, after your own heart, in these days of mannish and athletic womenf" I croaked loudly.
 "Oh; is that all?'' said he nonchalantly, as though some one had announced hullaballoo over 1t? Why don't they dash some water in her face? That will bring her to quickly. particularly if she has on a new frock. Maybe her corsets are laced too tight. Why don't they cut the faces? I abominate women who faint all over the place and I feel sorry for the poor fellow who Is with her who mus be made the hero of such an unpleasant episode"
 As he soiiloquized he suddenly caught sight of my face as I paraphrased: "Inconsistency thou art near-jewel" When he suddenly remarked: 1T like feminine women and delicate, refined ones, but I like them to be so in tho proper place"
 "Oh, don't mind me-" I laushingly ieered. Just go on "Talkins. talking. talking, as G. B. S. makes Rikky-Tikky- Tavvy, say in Man and superman