Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-09

~ OMEBODY will please get out
their comic opera fountain pen
~ and their comic opera pad and
write two or three acts about this. The
Rev. Charles A. Merrill has been
ehaperoning a party of thirty Welles
ley college girls on a Summing
expedition In the east They have
visited the Immigrant stations, the
general court and the Charles street
Jail In Wellesley, all of which would
make great scenes for a musical melee.
At one of the immigrant stations an
incoming steamer could be shown.
Passengers in green tights could alight
and make love to the thirty college
girls. They might be italian street
ear track artists and Hungarian tunnel
diggers. A bunch OF wild animals for
some American ZOO could be introduced
to lend life to the picture.
In the Jail scene the convicts, in
stripes, could sing a rock pile chorus.
The warden might be a German come
dian, and one of the inmates might
recite Roger and l." to lend a touch
of sentiment. AS a climax to the jail
act fifteen of the TRUSTEES could elope
with fifteen of the girls, the remain
ing fifteen girls offering to remain in
the place of the departed prisoners
for the sake of their alma mater.
In the general court scene, which
should be the last in the play, every
thing could be Strengthened out. The
Judge, Of course, would be the Jail
warden promoted. The fifteen eloped
couples should be married as the grand
finale. and it subtly suggested that
the fifteen remaining couples be mar
ried Immediately after the fall of the
curtain. 1t would be highly inartistic
to have all thirty couples married in
the show proper, hence the delay for
the fifteen.
Orland Chester Thompson of Greene
county, Indiana, is perhaps the most
remarkable lawyer in the United
States. Flrst,he is a boy, "mere
child" as the reporters say. Second,
he has never lost a case. Third, he
advances ideas that many of the gray
heads in the profession might look
over with grave consideration. This is
a sample interview with the ambitious
child, it being noted that 1t is all one
sided-Orland never gives his inter-
viewers a chance:
IT am proud of my record. have
never lost a case. But L am prouder
of the things that 1 am going to do,
rather of the things that l am not go
ing to do. l am never going into poll
tics. Politics is the dirtiest game that
q man can fight. Pardon my use of
the word man. I am young, but
think I'll grow up. like to fight,
but / want to fight clean. You cannot
do that in politics. Sometimes l think
I'd like to run for mayor of Switz City,
but 1 do not want the politics. / am
sure that any boy can do what have
done, If he works. 1 have studied law
at night after working hard in the
postoffice all day, and then I did dou-
BILE work in law school, You'll excuse
me. 1 am to give a lady in the next
room some advice in a divorce case.
l do not want to seem egotistic, but
believe you might do well to keep an
eye on me. L am going out for ele-
plants"
Secretary Wilson to bat Secretary
James Wilson of the department of
agriculture with an explanation of the
high cost of existence. Lack of soil
education, says the secretary, Is the
goat. When our university class rooms
become the scenes of gatherings of
long whiskers and blue bloomers of
the sort that they wear in the rural
precincts, eggs will be within reach of
men of moderate fortunes and hay may
be bought for horses in families with
as little as a few millions. Practical
education, urges the secretary. To
school, says the secretary. with the
tillers of the SOIL
Mayhaps Secretary Wilson will have
his way. In ten years the rah-rahS of
the nation may be foxy old gents with
whiskers burnt in spots by the blaze
of a cigarette. Football will be played
by two teams of eleven Uncle Sis on