The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1910-01-09

paper. but il probably originated in
Gotham and was inflicted. as is the
custom in Gotham, upon the unoffend-
ing Jersey shores. 1t reads:
My wife. Elizabeth. having left my
bed and board, l am not responsible
for debts contracted by her.
WILLIAM KNITTELL.
To William Knitte!-Replying to
your personal l desire to say that you
have never furnished or paid for a
bed for me. neither am l under any
obligations to you with regard to
board: any debt contracted by me 1
shall be able to settle myself.
MRS. WIN. KNITTELL.
Then there was an authentic case
in the Sacramento tCal) Bee:
l hereby give notice that am not
responsible for any debt contracted by
my husband.
MRS. MARY JOHNSON.
Mrs. Mary johnson was in earnest.
too. She owned a livery stable and
ran it. turning her husband out to
make his own living.
An .'ad'' in the Milwaukee Journal
reads:
Industrious man wants position in
doctors office: also understands en-
balming. Would take position with an
under taker.
They say that out of the slope" you
can sift a pint of sand arAl get quart
Of fleas. However this may be.
Portland (Ore) paper one morning ap-
peared with this very neat agage:
Wanted-By stout gentleman. boy
to scratch fleas. Must be Industrious.
Down in Columbia. S. c.. they have
simply limitless faith in advertising
In the Columbia States a few weeks
ago appeared the following:
Wanted-To sell old-style piano: in
good condition: rosewood case; will
sell cheap or exchange for a good COW
fresh in milk.
The sad part of the sequel is that the
editorial hallway in the state office
resounded with heavy footsteps the
next day and tired looking man
put his head in the doorway Where
is the man with the pianner?" he
asked.
Everybody looked blank. Then the
sad man became indignant Il brought
my COW here. yesterday to trade with
that palmer Teller. and nobody was
here. This here COW amt got no time
to stand in front o. newspaper Of
fices and that pianner Teller had bet
ter tune up or I'll drive my cow
home and tell Mandy faint no use"
The following comes from an anony-
nous source:
The gentleman who found purse
with money on Second street Thurs
day morning Is requested to forward il
to the address of the loser as he is
recognized"
This response appeared three days
litter:
The recognized gentleman who
picked up purs. in Second street
Thursday requests the loser to call at
his house at a convenient date
Here's real want lad" that the |
Philadelphia North American lays
claim to. 1t comes from a little girl |
who scrawled her name as Lois" |
My Dear Friend-I would like to /
have brother or sister. please. Mo- |
Their wrote to the doctor and they will |
not give us one. We are going out !
west and want to take a baby with /
us. but not second handed one. II
read in the paper a little girl asked !
Tor a baby and got one. Do. please, |
tell us In the paper when you have /
one for US and we will come for it."
In the state of Washington new |
marriage law went into effect in June. /
applicants for licenses to /
bring certificates and recommended |
tons of their fitness to marry. |
Since then Idaho persons, near the |
Washington border. realizing the de- |
sire of many couples to escape these |
have advertised for we'd |
dings without restrictions. The fol- |
lowing is sample of one of these |
ads"
BE married in Wallace. where no
penalties, premiums or restrictions
confront cupid. Come to the Samuels
hotel, where bridal apartment Is
maintained. Judge /. l.. Leighty. she
marrying Justice will tie the knot
with speed and dexterity."
In one of the Washington lnd) pa
pers recently there was inserted an ad-
vertisement asking tenants for a
seven room house. The property was
offered free. as 1t had reputation
for being haunted.
Last summer, when the Indianapolis
Browns could hit nothing in the way
of baseball except the bottom of the
percentage column. some facetious fan
paid good money for this .'ad:"
"Wanted-The Browns to regain their
old-time batting FORM"
Did they? They did enough to pull
themselves up into the first division.
Advertising pays.
A dealer blithley advertises in the
Liverpool (EnglanD Currier that he
will pay fair price for old false
teeth.
The country papers most often con-
tain oddities. as this is from a Gales |
burg all) publication:
Wanted-A wideawake boy to hide
in the corn and watch a muskmeion
patch on Sunday. Parents or guard |
ians must warrant good behavior |
Lads attending Sabbath school need |
not apply"
But the prize yarn of them all comes |
from st. Louis, all the more valuable |
because ii is vouched for by the po-
lice, who are acquainted with the cir !
from which arose a little
between the burglar |
and housekeeper whose home the !
former had robbed. The thief answered
the mans '.ad" for the wedding ring