The Lamar register., 1910-11-23
An Uncertain Job

Here's O humdinger OF . story
about a couple of husky bucks VINO
had landed from somewhere across
the big duck puddle and who were
stranded in the new world without
money, work or friends. ihey
had become footsore and beery
from stalling around trying to PICK
up piece of change here anu
there. SO it was up to them to con-
meet pretty soon or take on an en-
xaeement in come dime museum as
famine sufferers. Now. Shaggy Bill
was strong on the happy thought
gag. and he suddenly and unre-
strainedly disconnected himself
from the idea that 1t would be a
ufe-saver If he could rob a store
in q small village that they had
camped near for some days. NO
sooner did the birth of this happy
thought take place than Bill de-
c,ded to say nothing to his old side
kick and go in on his own nook
and make a hog-killing. Billy boy
goes In and does the trick ana
gets caught at it, and in trying 10
escape nearly kills the store keep
or who had intercepted him. Ihe
villagers were much wrought up
over the situation and gave Will
yum a quick trial and sentenced
h'm to be hung by the neck till MS
eyes stuck out like pegs on a hat
rack. The execution was set Tor
an early date, and everybody was
IN q state of excitement over the
awful event. Bills pal had loiter-
ed around the little town waiting
/. get news of his comrade whom
he was not aware was in limbo. Tht
day of the execution arrived ana
the sheriff led Bilious upon the
scaffold and his deputies adjusted
the black cap and bound his hands
and feet. But, as the fatal signal
was about to be given that would
Jerk willie's soul into new worid
of endeavor, the terrible cry OF nre
rang out upon the autumn breezes'
and, to q man. the whole bunch.
excepting the youthful embryo safe
cracker, Bilious. beat it for the
conflagration, leaving the victim on
the griddle. At this critical NOM
emit who should appear on the scene
but Bits pal. Dossy McSquirt, who
had been searching the entire coun-
tryside for the missing man. Doss
was overjoyed at finding Bill. and
he inquired what he was doing up
there. Now. as we remarked De-
fore. Bill was long on imagination
and he at once set to work to shoot
the bull Into Dossy about what
nifty Job he had standing up there
looking wise and drawing i've
piunkets daily therefor. Doss al
lowed a. how there was some class
TO that kind OF q Job and while he
was not . gosh blamed bit envious
he would like to have one Ike IT,
He declared that he had grazed all
ovee that territory and he COULDN'T
find enough work to do to keep
his spinal column from wearing the
nickel-plating off his front britches
button. Thereupon Bill informed
him that he wasn't selfish and that
he knew where there was an
othee Job Just like 1t. II Dossy
would get up and take his place
he would go and take the other one
The trade was made and Bill
makes his elopement. About this
point in this thrilling blood thirsty
drama the fire fighters are begin
ming to return. The head execu'
TONER takes his place. not discov'
ering the difference and proceeds
to eradicate n few wrinkles from
the innocent Dossy's neck by jerk
ing the trap. The old scout sho'
through the hole In the scaffold
like a dose of salts through sieve
and fortunately for him. the rope
which was an old one. broke. Dos
had hit the bumps before in his
young life. but nothing had ever
struck him like this Jolt. and he
didn't wait to be invited to hike
lie tore down about four rods Of
picket fence freeing himself. ant
when he once hit the level ground
he gave a correct imitation of q
man running. After leaving th'
town and the hue and cry far t'
windward he slackened his pace
As he bore down upon a huge oai
beside the roadside who should b,
spy in its inviting shade no othel
than his old friend Bill laying bach
and taking It easy. Bill was sur
prised to see Dossy 30 soon ant
Herewith remarked: whats the
matter, Doss. don't you like the
job?" YES" gurgled Dossy, "th'
jobs alright, but some damned foo
is goin' to get killed at 1t yet
Eek.