The Washington herald., 1910-07-24
EXAMINED!!
That's What Was Did to Eph Higgins as
P. N. of HingTiIIs BY a Total StraRg-
or to Him Who Proved to Be Korkin
for the Same Party Eph Is

Eph Higgins, our accommodating and
oftishious postmaster went thru a turri-
! bic ordeal one day last week, which
almost give him nervous prostrashion.
and which he hopes he will never haft
to undergo again as long as he lives.
Eph says he would almost rather have
all the teeth in his head pulled out
without taking anything to ease the pain.
than to pass thru what he went thru
last Thursday, but this wouldn't be so
turrible hard thing for him to do.
becuz he's only got about FIVE teeth left
and most of them is loose.
Be that as it may, on last Thursday
mornin' about 9 o'clock, which was one
OF the hottest days We have had so far
during the summer, Eph after he had
swept out the post office and stamped
all the letters which was to 90 to the
Co seat, set down by the door. filed
his pipe, lighted it, tilted his chair back
and almost before he knowed il had
dropped off and went sound to sleep.
Eph says he don't know how long he
was asleep. but when he woke up he
heerd noise back behind the post office
boxes and before Eph could make 10
his mind whether the noise was made
| by a rat or a what, a man stepped out
from behind the post office. who was a
total stranger TO Eph, being as he had
never met him before Eph was q good
cal surprised and wondered what bust
ness the fellow had to go back behind
the Post office, so he says to him:
Stranger, it pears like you are kind
of out of place behind the post office
like that being as IT is private and sacred
government ground as you might say"
i guess | know what | am doing, "
says the stranger. Then Eph got up
and went back behind the post office to
see If anything had been disturbed,
whereupon the stranger followed him
and began to ask him none-of-your-
business questions He asked Eph how
many stamps he had on hand and what
the income of the office was and a lot
more questions which Eph refused to
answer, until finally the Teller says to
Eph in offhand way, 81 am the post
office Inspector for this district and
have just dropped in to see what
condishion the Bingville P. o. is in"
When Eph learned this he turned
paler than ghost and treated the
stranger, who said his name was Mr..
Smith, with the utmost consideration.
After Eph found out that he was q
postoffice inspector, Eph was so polite
and nice that butter wouldn't scarcely
melt in his mouth. Mr.. Smith said If
there was no objecshions he would
make an examinashion of the office
and Eph said he had no objeeshions
whatever, so the stranger said the first
step would be to look at Eph's ap-
pointment Eph he scratched his head
and the cold sweat of anguish stood
out on his forehead, becuz he couldn't
for the life of him remember where
he put that appointment from the gov
eminent. He ransacked the postoHice
from one end to tother, but ne couldn't
find it and he asked the postoffice in
speetor If it was necessary for him to
see it and the P. O. Inspector said that
he couldn't leave Bingville until he had
seen that appointment, so Eph went home
and told his wife, who thort that per-
haps the appointment had been put
away somewheres about the house, so
they both started in to hunt for it.
They hunted two hours and when they
got thru, the carpet was tore Up from
the parlor floor, the furniture all over
the house was misplaced and over
turned and the whole house was messed