The Washington bee., 1910-11-26

That's nothing have that all gone.
empty feeling" said the gasoline tank.
But just then all were put into the
garage and shut up.-Baltimore Ameri-
can.
Sarcastic.
A young woman IN London rendered
the cabby the exact fare of a shilling
at the end of a journey.
Half a moment. MISS" said the
driver. "Are you married?"
mo. Why do you ask?
Because" was the rejoinder, when
you do marry, whoever gets you will
have a treasure. You makes a bob go
farther than any gal / know"
Small Quarters For Moses.
Donald is fond OF Bible stories. His
auntie was relating to him the story of
/ Moses in the basket Of bulrushes,
when he earnestly inquired:
Did he ever grow to be a manY
"Yes," he was told.
"a great big manY'
Eyes"
Donald remarked tncredulousfy.
/ "Wen. I'd "a thought he'd "a busted
the basket t"-Delineator.
Wretched Man.
See the sorrowful man. The man
has every reason to look pleasant His
home is a happy one, his business Is
/ successful, his children are good look
ing and well behaved, he has health
and credit to burn and money in the
bank, yet he looks as gloomy as a dys-
peptic atheist. The day has come when
he must give his desk its annual clean
ting Out-Newark News.
Necessity Past.
Congress had been asked would it
! please do something for the Delaw
"DelawareT repeated the members.
with a puzzled air. What's thatY'
It's a river that Washington once
! crossed" explained an advanced repre-
sentative Of the people.
We'll. he got across all right, didn't
he?" responded the inquirers whats
the use Of improving the river now?'-
Philadelphia Ledger.
A Hole In Glass.
A hole may be cut or etched through
glass readily by using hydroduoric
acid, says Machinery. The acid should
be applied in the same way as etching
acid, using wax to surround the por-
ton Of glass which is to be penetrated.
Hydrofuoric acid is sold in wax bot
ties, as it cannot be kept in glass 1t
may be handled with a hard rubber
dropper similar in construction to the
ordinary glass medicine droppers.
A Pretty Kettle of Fish.
When the patient called on his doc
tor he found the good man in a state
Of great apprehension.
I've got all the symptoms of the
disease you have" said the doctor.
''Tm sure | have caught it from you"
What are you so scared abOutT'
asked the patient.
"Why, man." replied the doctor. Il
don't think 1 can cure it."-Harper's
Weekly.
The Last Chancs.
An italian gravedigger after digging
a certain grave put in a bill that was
exorbitant. When complaint Of the
Overcharge was made to him he said:
We'll. the corpse and I had a row
five years ago over a cart sold him,
and l could never make him pay me
what he owed. SO, seeing this was
my last chance, 1 thought I'd better
take it,
Took 1t Out on the Boy.
What, you want a dollar for spend
ing money!? exclaimed Mr.. Tytes.
Look here, young man, when 1 was a
boy OF your age my father never gave
me a dollar to spend fooIishly. l was
taught to consider myself lucky If 1
got nickel"
We'll" protested Bobby, you don't
need to jump on me about 1t. Tell
your troubles to grandpa a."-Cleveland
Leader
No Help Needed.
VisitOr-I say, old boy, you are the
most absurdly infatuated husband l
ever saw in my life, considering how
long you've been married. You praise
every dish your wife makes. and yet
her cooking is abominable.
Host-'Sh! Don't speak so loud. !
know her cooking is bad, but If l say
a word she gets discouraged and sends
for her mother
Official Corporal Punishment.
The Geratsche Zeitung in a recent
issue reproduced a royal decree" is
sued by the Grand Duke Heinrich Xxx.
at GTatz, In December. 1914. to show
that corporal punishment was prac-
ticed Officially" at that time. The
document calls attention to the fact |
that from sunset until midnight boys |
disturbed the peace" and ordered |
special patrol to arrest all such offend |
ers, ''take them to the lookup and be-
fore a magistrate, and If found guilty |
to punish them with twenty blows, |
and that these be administered by two |
corporaIs with sticks"