The Ely miner., 1910-12-09
Too Many
Complication

she will like this room. l am sure" !"
said the woman caller to the keeper
of the boarding house. "All she wants
is pleasant place, where she can
live quiet, simple
Don't say another word" interrupt
ed the landlady, nervously. Il can't
let your friend have the room"
why not? She Is very sweet
girl"
Il don't doubt that at all, but l al
ready have three boarders in my house
who are trying to live the simple life,
and it is making life a great deal too
complicated for me. Originally l in
tended to accept only woman boarders,
but my niece who boards with me said
she wouldn't eat breakfast without a
man at the table, so took in a young
lawyer. l insist that she shall get up
to eat breakfast with him, too"
That probably is no hardship-if
he is nice" remarked the woman call
er.
oh, he is nice enough, but he wants
his breakfast at GAS o'clock. My niece
has to set her alarm clock full hour
earlier than that in order to get on
all her curls. Then that young lawyer
just buries his head in the newspaper
and growls if any one speaks to him.
One morning he did try to be pleas
ant to her. He told her that he liked
only women who were past 25 He
thought he was saying something that
would please her, but it didn't.
AS a roomer, however, that young
man would be ideal If he would only
drop the simple life Fresh air is his
hobby. He leaves the screen open
every time he crawls through his bed
room window. He says he never be-
fore slept so soundly as he does on the
roof, which slants away from his room
The trouble is that l lie awake half
the night worrying for fear he will roll
on into Mrs. Boswelps yard. / never
lost roomer that way, but l don't
know what Mrs. Boswell would say If
he should roll off, she is so particular
about her lawn.
Every morning / have to crawl
through the window to make up that
young mans bed on the roof. while a
small imp who lives across the alley
calls his aunts and uncles and cousins
to come out and watch me. They act
Just as II | were rehearsing for tight
rope performance. OF course the law.
yer's room has to be swept and busted
hn Gl4
feel as If he were occupying whole
suite and paying for just one room"
The landlady paused for breath. The
caller took the opportunity to remark
But surely your own niece does not
put you to any Inconvenience"
"She is much worse than the law
yer" declared the landlady, bitterly
Health foods are her speciality, but
she follows different system every
week. If she wanted lemonade and
peanuts for breakfast didn't care. but
l would not let her chew raw carrots
at my dining-room table, so the raw
food diet fell through. Then she de-
cided to live on buttermilk and had
to order two quarts one day, only to
find that she had stayed downtown to
dinner! The amount of buttermilk
| distributed among the neighbors that
evening made them think / kept a
cow
Last week my niece read that two
meals day were sufficient for any
one, so she is skipping luncheon this
week. She makes up for it at dinner
Why, she eats so much that l feel as
If l were furnishing her three meals
a day while she is paying me for only
two. This idea of regulating ones ap
petite according to whether a meal is
table d'hote or a la carte is hard on
us landladies, with prices continually
going up on everything.
Yesterday new boarder came. She
looked like such a sensible person that
/ was delighted with her. But this
morning she told me that she would
have to be furnished with homemade
bran bread and pure-food coffee, the
latter being boiled As minutes. She
says these things are soothing for
tired nerves. l don't believe 1t myself
"She wants me to have a punching
bag put In the basement for her-just
below my bedroom. She says she is
going to get up at o'clock every
morning to exercise with the punching
bag.
THE only way I'll be able to get any
sleep is to go to bed In the daytime
AS for making any money, my only
hope is that my niece will take up the
fasting fad.
mo. as l. said before, l can't take
your friend if she wants to lead the
simple life"