The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-14
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
FOOLISH FELLOW,

FOOLISH FELLOW.
A cailoused rogue got caught at last
And served at labor hard.
Got out, reformed, lived down the past;
Won back his wife's regard.
They saw a pretty girl one day
Upon a crowded street.
And he remarked in idle way
That she seemed rather neat.
And every day since then his wife
Regards him with a frown.
He made the great mistake OF life
And cannot live II down.
In Goggles.
There's a masked man at the back
door"
Horrors! Is he after my diemonds?"
mo. madam He only wants to borrow
a can Of gasoline"
He Was Occupied.
Husband what shall we call the
baby?"
''Oh. 1 dunno" said the professor.
Don't bother me now. I'm trying TO
think up a name for a new microbe."
Nothing New.
'I'm little rusty on my Shakespeare
What was the trouble between the Mon
tagues and the Capulets?"
Same old row There was a love af-
fair and each family thought It's Off
spring was marrying low"
Too Much Espionage.
The small boy feels Ike a slave,
His every act a crime
But for his parents he could have
a bully time.
She Didn't Comprehend.
Eyes; I am going abroad"
And how are you going TO arrange
your itinerary
Il understand coronet braids are the
latest thing"
4 Compromise.
'In Act II you are supposed TO be Sc
verely wounded" explained the manager.
so I don't wish you to take curtain
call II spoiis the illusion"
Il might be carried before the curtain
on a stretcher," suggested the actor.
mo; Il won't do. I'll let "a doctor 20
out and issue bulletins If you Ike"
Not Exclusive Enough
What's the tariff for scorchinEc'
Five dollars"
"Pshaw, At that rate anybody can az
ford % exceed the speed limit"
PRO AND CON.
From the ElmIB Advertiser
The poet Of The Washing on Herald.
who has been taken TO task for attempt
ing TO rhyme gone" with morn" pleads
Ia extentuation the fact that he is from
Georgia, where gone is pronounced
''g-o-r-n." Oh. the resourcefuIness Of
these newspaper men!
From tie Chattanooga Times.
a blind tiger located IA a well has
been raided IN Tennessee. The neighbor-
hood viii now have 10 find some other
vastly deep from which 10 call up spirits, "
says The Washington Herald They don't
need Vastly deeps. The spirits come from
beneath the earth. from its surface. from
high. low, and level places. They are not
at all particular about their place Of
residence.
From the Columbia state
The Washington Herald reports that
Mai John Ross. Of the Charlotte Observer.
weighs 800 pounds. Just suppose Mai
Ross were a bale OF cotton at present
prices!
Prom the New York Herald
The ChautauqUa circuit IS, after az.
the great megaph0ne through which
come the major laundering Of the more
familiar variety Of political reformer. o.
Washington Herald Evidently a mis-
take. Our contemporary means a talking
machine
Fym the PCuzEl,aUney Spirt
The Washington Herald suggests that
the worst thing 1903 has 20 answer for
is the Oh, you kid" idiocy. and we can
only hope that it may now safely be re-
garded as something that belongs 10 the
past
From the Savannsh Press.
More in sorrow than IN anger, more in
pity than in scorn, will the paragrapher
dismiss the little Brooklyn doctor. with
all his faults he was good 70 them" says
The Washington Herald But the trouble
is, they will not dismiss the doctor.
From the Charlotte Ohserver
The Washington Herald rightly admires
and perhaps rightly attributes to the
Christmas spirit a new near-poem. which
the Observer recently presented with
appropriate comment What would life
be without the neaT-pOets?
From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
who reads the Congressional Rec
ord?'" inquiries the Deseret News. Well,
the proofreaders, anyway. even II they do
get salary for Washington Herald.
And how do you know that the proof
readers read It?
From the Richmond nmas-Di5Uatch.
What the Democratic party needs, "
begins The Washington Herald hopefully,
sis not so much leaders as followers. e.
What the Democratic party needs is not
so much getting more advice. as taking
some of that already gotten.