Bisbee daily review., 1910-07-16
SHE COULD KEEP
A SECRET
Py Ebert I. BENTLEY
Copyright. 1910. by American Press
Association.
1--WE got the cOnfOundedest wife you

1--WE got the eonfoundedest wife you
| ever saw"
what do you mean by the word
eonfoundedestl II conveys no mean
ing to me-"
That's the reason l apply II to my
wife. She is beyond the pale OF defni-
| ton"
do you use the word opprobrious-
Typ
by no means. She's finn dandy"
"Oh. you've got something on your
understanding she has been doingi
Get II OF and have done with it,
Right you are. and when I've told
you you'll agree with me that con-
foundedest is the best word By which
TO describe her. You know we live IN
the country and I'm commuter. My
monthly Communication ticket costs me
S24.J0. | have always been used to
carrying my ticket in my hat It's
very convenient. you know. place
It between the lining and the crown.
II l put 1t IN my portemonnaie. which
carry in my hip pocket when I'm
! hurrying TO my train loaded down with
/ the bundles which all commuters are
condemned to carry. have a hard
| time getting 1t out from under my
/ coat II 1t is In my hat can get at
1t very easily. There's a ferry at the
city end Of the route where the ticket
must be punched. Formerly COM
muters were only required to show
At
our hats 10 the gateman. and be
could see the ticket. 1t was comical
TO see a long line Of passengers taking
Off their hats politely to the gateman.
But the practice must have concealed
some skulldugsery. for the officers
Of the line stopped II. and now we all
must have our tickets punched.
Anyway. l always carry my ticket
in my hat. Well, one morning when
went to the city felt for my commu-
tation ticket. and it was gone. II was
one I'd just bought. and its loss In
volved nearly s24. Thinking l might
have put II in one OF my pockets. l
ransaeked them all II wasn't in any
OF them searched the 6oor. but
there was nothing there. At last |
gave It up and paid my fare.
My wife is a very economical wo-
man and considers me the perfection
Of carelessness. I knew If told her Of
my loss she would scold me for both
wastefulness and carelessnes. ! made
up my mind 10 get on the best could
for awhile. paying my fare out Of the
loose change | carried till the end of
the month, when l would buy a new
ticket. 1t was no use. A few morn
ings after my loss as | was going out
my wife gave me the customary kiss,
at the same time handing me my hat
She looked inside and. not seeing the
ticket. felt for 1t.
why. dear she exclaimed, Il !
thought you always carried your COM
mutation ticket In your hat
II was obliged to confess had lost
it. My wife said: I told you so. II you
had kept II In your pocketbook. as l
always advised you to do. you wouldn't
have lost IT. There's $24 gone. enough
10 buy me a spring hat with three big
ostrich feathers
Il hurried away. ostensibly to catch
the train. but really 10 escape a scold-
ing. and since it would be cheaper to
commute even with the loss OF four
days than to pay single fares I bought
a new ticket | kept it in my pocket
book in my hip pocket with lot of
memoranda. cards. etc. my cash for
daily expenses being In my vest pock-
ct. had no trouble for a month, when |
~ -. AsN. .
the month when l was getting ready |
to go to the city clapped my hand to
my hip 10 make sure my ticket was
there. and. behold. portemonnaIe. tick !
ct AID all were gone. Somebody must !
have picked my pocket
II thought my wife would cry. Eff |
ty dollars gone in two months she
moaned. We're going right down into
the poorhouse. Why will you be so
careless? 2
If I'd kept It in my hat snap |
ped. 1t would not have been lost. !
put it where you told me to put It. and
there you are
''Go and buy another one she said
We can't afford to have you spending /
forty or fifty dollars a month to save
S24.'
well. TO make long story short. in
six months lost five Communication
tickets. What had brought about such /
bad luck couldn't tell. I'd committed
for seven years and never before lost
a ticket. Thinking some one might be
robbing me-some Of the servants-l /
told my wife when lost the last tick
ct that ! was going to put detective
In the house.
My dear she replied. If I say /
something to you Will you scold meY
Certainly not. pet; fire away
well. I've been robbing you OF
your Communication tickets
Il nearly fell in a faint.
"'You know Tom Edwards. financial /
man for B. & Co. Wei. Tom gave me
tip on some stock that was going 10
be ''cornered." shorts squeezed" and
all that He said II I'd give him 500
he'd put me 10 with the pool But ! /
must keep the secret. hadn't the