The Holbrook news., 1910-07-01
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Barber-Do you shave yourself7 Knicker-Yes, and talk to myself, too. New York Sun.
 First Child-We've got a new baby at our house. Second Child (con- temptuously) got a new pa at urs.-Presbyterian Standard.
 He-I asked your fathers consent by telephone She-What did he say? He-He said, 'l don't know who you are, but it's all right"-Home Life
 Why are you so sad?" My wife has been ordered to the country for three months" T understand" No you don't; she won't go.' -Fliegende BIatter.
 Teacher-Jimmy. you look very pale this morning. Are you ill? Jimmy No. ma'am. Ma washed my face this morning herself-Woman's Home Companion.
 Pa-But. young man. do you think you can make my little girl happy? Suitor-Do I? Say, I wish you could
 a seen her when I proposed di-Cleve- land Leader.
 I1c SeSmS lO De CueeTlul nc .s. He found dollar in an old suit of clothes yesterday morning. and now he thinks his luck has turned."- Detroit Free Press.
 "So your wife wants to voter" Not exactly" replied Mr. Meekton. "She wants the opportunity of voting if sho wishes. Then she will do as she likes oh f
 What did you do in the army?" Most of the time was in charge Of a squad of men" "On special duty?" "No-they were taking me to the guardhouse. ."-Cleveland Leader.
 Editor-Have you got that poem on the political situation ready yet? Dis tracted Tame Poet-Not quite. yet. But I've got the rhymes fixed. and I've only go to fill in the lines Scraps.
 "Wha; makes the trust magnate look so worried?" He has just read that the American farmer is very prosperous, and he feels that he must have overlooked something. g."-Hous- ton Post.
 Actor-I have been In your company now foI two years. and I think it's time l had an increase in salary. Man. ager-All right. you can have the parts in which there is eating Fliegende Blatter.
 A-When I was in the East l met with many begging dervishes- B-I thought they called them bowling dervishes. A-That's what they be- come when you don't give them any ng-Meggendorfer Blatter-
 Firs, Boy-Where yer goin- in such a rush? Second Boy Con the run)- Fire alarmi First Boy-Where? Sec ond Boy-Boss said he'd fire me if I wasn't back from his errand in ten minutes.-Boston Transcript.
 Old Nurse (to newly married cou- pie, after viewing the wedding pres ents)-Well, my dears. you ought to be very happy There aint a thing amongst 'em as pawnbroker would n't be pleased to 'andle.-Punch-
 .I am a poor man." When we are married I can learn to cook" Hadn't begin practicing." sug- gested the thrifty suitor, while your father is yet supplying the raw ma terial, SO to speak?v-Stray Stories.
 Mother-Do you think that young man has matrimonial intentions, my dear? Daughter-I certainly do, ma ma. He tried to convince me last night that looked prettier in that two-guinea. hat than in the three guinea one.-Scraps.
 50 there is to be divorce, said the woman who discusses everybody. Tt seems but a little while since he asked for her hand" Yes" replied the rude man. He got the hand all right. But it turned out to be mis- Washington Star.
 "So your wife is a suffragette?" Yes" answered MT Meekton. Why does she want to vote?" "I don't think Henrietta really desires to vote She's merely tired of talking to me. She wants a larger and more intelligent audience" Washington Star.
 Murphy-Poor O'Reilly is dead. Ana a good old soul he was. Casey-Yis. and a thoughtful wan. too. Sure. be- fore he died he called all his creditors to him and told thim where they could borrow enough to cover what he owed Washington Star.
 Suitor-I suppose your father is al taken up with business? Her Little Brother-Yes, dad thinks of nothing else. That must have been why ma said to sister last night that if you meant business it was about time you talked to Brooklyn Life.
 Gunner-You can't get the best of those railway porters who bang your things about labeled my trunks China and thought they would handle them with unusual care. Guy