The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1910-05-16

our number has committed matrl-
mony. Edward Hammerton has TAX
en- 10 himself wife. | will read arti-
Gle 7 from our constitution. applying
to his case:
when any member shall become en-
gagged or has been married he shall pay
a fine. and his membership In the club
shall cease. lie shall state the arts by
which he was SHARED. II there are palli-
ating circumstances I'm his case he shall
not pay the whole fine. but such portion
OF II as the club may consider a just
amount I'm his case.
"Mr. Hammerton will now make his
statement"
81 assure you. gentlemen" said the
retiring member. that no intention
whatever to desert you ever entered
my head until a diaboical combina-
ton of young women in the town
where / live forced matrimony upon
me. These persons organized a club
based on custom prevailing in for
eign land. Between the mountains of
India and Persia, | have since under
stood, is powerful tribe, among
whom the ladies can choose their own
husbands. All single woman has to
do when she wishes to change her
state is to send a servant to pin
handkerchief to the hat Of the man on
whom her fancy lights. and he Is
obliged TO marry her unless he can
show that he is too poor to purchase
her at the price her father requires.
INSPIRED by this suggestion from
land where secret venomous methods
underlie all social conditions. every
unmarried woman in the town where
| live formed a club-rather entered
upon conspirncy-to force the bach
elors into matrimony. One morning.
being about TO leave my home. on TAX
ing my hat from the hall closet some
thing soft and scented fiuttered against
my hand. | shuddered. | had touch
ed the Indian poison flower and was
reminded Of its waxen petals and its
seductive odor. Taking the hat TO the
light. saw pinned to 1t blue silk
handkerchief in one corner OF which
was embroidered my monogram in
white silk thread. Observe, gentle
men. the insinuating method OF this
designing creature. She not only knew
how dear TO every man is his alma
mater. but she was aware that blue
is the color of my college.
"Mind you. gentlemen. did not at
the time know of this society or OF it's
malevolent purpose, for the members
Eant hnfh LONG N rNnCSfhln II
asked my butler how the handkerchief
came 10 be pinned TO my hat. He
said that the servant of Miss Eugenia
Tomlinson. living ut the other end OF
the street, had called before | was
out of bed. asked for my hat and at
tached the handkerchief. Why he had
done so he did not state.
"Going to my club after had break
tasted. | sat down to a cigar and
paper. In the paper | read full ac-
count of the organization and prac-
tees Of this pestilent Indian plant that
had been imported to our soil. also
read list of the bachelor heads that
had already fallen and was aghast to
see the names of two of my most init
mate friends.
"'Great heavens | cried, the per-
spiration starting out on me, and /
have already received a deadly Black
Hand notifications
The lady who had thus marked me
for matrimonial misery. both from her
beauty and general attractiveness. was
all powerful. Any man on whom she
pinned the skull and crossbones must
walk the plank. There was no hope
for him. Nevertheless. though seeing
the signal to heave 10. made up my
mind to pay no attention TO II.
simply sailed on mindlng my own
business"
why didn't you take to an aero
plane?" member interrupted.
RATS" "Buncombev' Brave boy!"
and the like greeted the speaker.
"One week after the receipt of the
signal" he continued. 1.-THE period
given backlisted bachelors by this
club. l met one of my most respected
woman friends on the street. She
cut me dead. The same day l met
SeNeTui olueTS anu TeCelNeu tue cut
direct from all. Here was, indeed.
boycott. You must remember,
gentlemen. that. although we do not
wish to surrender our independence
to these creatures, to be ostracized by
them is n serious matter In time l
was cut by every unmarried woman In
town. Besides, the most attractive
married women were honorary men,
bers of the club and Joined the boy
colt.
And then. gentlemen. appeared the
most allurlng feature of this malig-
nant scheme. Last Of all my femi-
nine acquaintances i met the girl into
whose tolls it was intended that l
should fall. A seductive blush over
spread her features. bewildering
smile parted her vermilion lips and
showed two rows of pearls beneath;
then n modest dropping of the eyes.
These women who had united to as
sist In sharing me were all denying
me the benefit of their society for the
purpose of driving me like an inno-
cent bird into the opening of the net
intended for me-"
AT this point in the speech there