Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-07-06
rng LIE CONVENTIONAL.
Everybody Seems to Find Oecas'o" 70
Make Use Of II.


.Mr Brown allow me to introduce
to Won q friend OF mine. Mr., Henry
Smith; Mr.. Smith, Mr.. BrowIg
And Mr.. Brown tells Mr.. smith ne
is pleased to make his ACQUAINTANCE
when, as a matter of fact ne Is noth-
ing Of the kind.
Mr.. Brown has heard OF Mr.. Sihitn
more than once; in fact he has heara
of him from none other IMAM MS.
Jones. who has told Brown about
smith beating his wife, about DIS
having skinned his partner IN busi-
ness. about his having burned GOWN
his store for the insurance, ana, IN
general. abou. his being reno"
whom no one should be particularly
DESTROYS of meeting.
And vet Jones. upon chance
meeting. introduces Smith as MS
friend if not as his very GEAR
friend" and Brown says he is
pleased. if not delighted to meet
him.
well. well, old boy, hOwdy; tickled
to death OF see you; sit down there.
A busy business man has turned III
his chair from his desk to greet one
of the old boys with whom he went
to school back in the country town.
He may be really glad to see the
old friend, but as to being so tickled
to see him that he wants him to pull
up a chair and sit at the side OF his
desk the rest of the day, let's see
about it:
When the ''old boy" dropped In, Mr.
Busy Business Man was up to his neck
| in work he hoped to get Off MS hahos
| in time to catch the afternoon tram
| for a buying trip to New YORK, ana
lust the minute before had hung up
the telephone receiver i'm the middle
of a speech by his wife on the other
end. ;,
Now, don't let me bother you,
the ''old boy" says, and the busy
business man tells him he isn't both
| ering him bit
IT'S a bit warm in here; ! Just be-
lieye I'll take off this overcoat," says
the "old boy" whereupon the busy
business man looks much concerned,
turns oft the steam. and opens win
dow-wishing inwardiy the 'old boy"
would fall out of it.
did you have a nice time. DEAR
asks the devoted wife Of the husband
who has spent Sunday down the nv
err with his friends, fishing.
Great" says the husband. Only
one thing to mar the pleasure of the
day, pet, and that the fact that my
dear wife wasn't along"
Which, nine times out of ten, Is
| lie.
If his wife had been along he would
hir11Calf
knows the day would not only have
been miserable for himself, but Cor his
| friends as wen.
He was glad to get away a day, all
by himself, and probably resolved to
himself on the way home there was
going to be more of such days.
Then his wife tells him how lone
some she wac and how she wished
several times during the day he were
home, when, if she spoke the truth,
she would tell him she was rather
glad he was away; that there was no
Sunday dinner to fret about; that she
had long, restful nap, and that she
rather appreciated day off.
I'VE are now to hear" says the
POSTMASTER, ''from one who needs no
introduction to those sitting at this
board; from a citizen of whom We all
have reason to be proud: who enjoys
the high esteem and respect of all
men and of all his fellow citizens, and
one I am sure. you will all be pleased
to listen to with marked attention"
Whereupon there gets up from the
row along the speakers table a man
whom a majority of the banqueters
know to be something less than a
horsethief: because of whose presence
several in attendance are sorry they
came: of whom nobody there is proud
and who enjoys the respect and es-
TEEN of nobody and who wouldn't be
at the banquet at all if the committee
hadn't been disappointed by three
other speakers before they decided
they would have to invite him to fill
Fin.
II beg your pardon" says the man
who steps on our corn on the street
car.
Don't mention it: that's all right;
excuse our big feet" we say, when
throat.
Don't go home yet. it's only 10
O'clock"
NOW De sure ana come again.
And YOU come over and see U.S."
These for:
"Will they ever go?''
well. ] hope they don't call again,
soon.'
And. ''Now, l presume. we will have
to entertain them"
Thus, the lie we live.
Thus. the lie we live-Detroit News
REELECTION OF DiAx.
His PRESTIGE Due TO EearlAssnass and