davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26
An Optimistic Glance.

There is one thing about the American
character, and that is its saving grace OF
humor that enables us as people 10
pass off even an III with joke. Undoubt-
eddy the thought OF the high cost OF living
has made some people ponder, but for
the most part you will find comment on
the subject confined TO the humorous
paragraphs of the daily newspaper, where
the steadily increasing grocery bill. in
stead OF being wept over, is turned into
a jest.
And yet while undoubtedly the in
creased cost of living necessaries- has
been felt by all classes of people with
limited incomes. il is time. we think, TO
look on the other side OF the picture, and.
while we commiserate ourselves. take a
few moments to compliment ourselves
also. Things are by no means as bad as
they may seem. The Comptroller of the
Currency has Just published the figures
regarding the savings bank deposits for
the fiscal year, and these show that the
twelve months covered by the report We're
by no means unprosperous months. II is
true-and you may make as much dolor
about it as you please or your tempera-
ment requires-that It was a period Of
some serious strikes, Of demands for
higher wages, OF unrest. OF insurgency.
Of higher cost of living; but when We
have got through with cataloguing the
tale of woe it may help us to know that
these same months added 10000 to the
number of savings bank deposltors and
some 1851 100000 TO the aggregate Of de-
poslts.
This Increase in savings-which must
be regarded as a sign of prosperity-may
be accounted for in part by natural in
crease in population. by the starting of
new banks. and by the growth OF the
savings bank idea. But after these natu-
raj causes have been counted in. there
Will still remain a heavy margin that
must be credited 10 national progress in
| ana dlltlElttt anu tNpiAblli@ A4NN0
may have gone higher: the problem OF
living within a specified income may have
become more difficult, but there has been.
all the time. something inherent in our
prosperity which has not only not pre-
vented a larger importation OF Injuries
than ever before, but which has actually
Increased by many millions the sum total
OF money saved.
AS a man thinketh, he is ne, says the
sage and what is true Of the individual
is true Of the people as a mass. Let US
think of the great progress we have
made; let us stop pulling wry faces and
| INDUCING In lamentations. In no spirit
Of selfshness We can thank God we are
better of than many of our neighbors-
we are rich and happy and Industrious
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26
FATHERS EATING
BIRD SEED NOW

Fathers eating birdseed
While the price Of steak is high,
And mes using for a dessert
Homemade sawdust pie.
Clorus-
No more beef foE father
While hare on earth he'll wait.
For the beef trust viii not peter
Til il reaches Peters gate.
He's drawn ths line on bacon.
On fsh. and mutton, too,
And satisfies ia hunger
On a dish Of ihadOw stew.
IT'S made BY hanging pigs feet
'Tw!xt the moon and boiling pot,
And the shadow gently SINNERS
On the water till it's hot.
Then it's filtered through a strainsr
And they add a little salt.
If the beef trust don't quit bushes
Il went be fathers fault.
Father seems eontented;
His diet keeps him stout,
And he never viii eat beefsteak
Til the beef trust peters out.
L0TE. q"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26
HAD HIS FATHERS VOICE.
Baby Reminded Mother of Strength
of Husbands College Wells.

From the Detroit Free Press
Richard Harding Davis. at a football
game in Philadelphia, praised the voices
Of the young undergraduates shouting
their weird college yeils.
Tt makes me think OF a Locust street
bride" said Mr. Davis. smiling. "She
turned TO her husband one night at din
ner and remarked.
Ny dear. the first time saw you
was at Franklin Field Your head
was thrown back. your mouth was wiue
open, and your face was very red-you
were yelling your college yell"
Yes, 1 remember. said the young
man.
And I noticed she continued. what
remarkable voice YOU had
eS. you spoke OF IL az the time.
said he. But what makes you think Of
ii now
oh, nothing, said the bride. Only I
wish the baby hadn't inherited It. That's
ALL"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26
WHAT IS 1T ALL ABOUT?
New York Unable to Get at the Real
Cause OF the Express Strike.

frf=n the New York Evening Post.
New York City has been precipitated
into great and disturbing strike with
ont knowing what IL is all about The
issues are confused and the statements
Of the drivers and the express compa-
MES are conflicting. Even about the
terms of arbitration which were offered
there is no agreement II is clear what
ever the strikers may have said or con-
scented 20 before, they now make recog-
milton OF their union the decisive thing.
on that issue the companies declare
they VIII never yield. II both parties
stand unyieldingly by the position they
have taken, there seems nothing for IL
but TO have the slow trial Of strength.
In these circumstances. and if the state
commissioner Of labor is not able TO
bring about an arbitration OF the DISPUTE
the duty Of the city authorities is plain
They must keep order and protect men
going peacefully about their work
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26
SOME HARVARD CLASSICS.
''sOIomon Levi' and some FishbaIr'
Really Famous Poems.


Really Famous Poems.
From the Chicago Advance.
II you can find one of the little twisted
short cuts through from Faneuil Hall
Market TO the Boston store, you will
discover the crookedest bit of old Boston
now remaining, and you may discover
the spot where Louis Philippe lived In
cognito when he was an exile in America.
You viii come out at length In Hanover
street, and if you cross straight over.
you will walk up Salem street.
AT i49 you will see4he bust of Solomon
Levi. erected there by the Harvard stu
dents in commemoration of that fine
Harvard classic:
My name rs Solomon Levi
Al my store IN salem street.
There's where you buy your coats and vests
And everything else that's neat.
second-handed ulsiefets.
Aud everything else that's fine.
Fer all the boys that trade with me
Al one hundred and iofty-nine,
DO not despise this Bit OF Boston
Poetry; 1t is likely to live when Emerson
and Longfellow are forgotten.
There was a famous Harvard professor
who wrote learned text books on mathe-
MATES. which some of US studied to our
sorrow when we were IN college These
are now disused and forgotten, but his
fame is perpetuated by the fact that
when he was a college student he wrote
a song, still popular in Harvard, in which
occurred the classic coupiet:
The waiter roared it through the hail.
We don't give bread With one fshban.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26
SCANDAL IN PANAMA.

Special TO The Big Stick.
Panama. NOV. H.-There is still
talk in official circles here Of the
scandal caused by a prominent
Washington correspondent for a New
York newspaper who appeared at
the dinner given By the President
# Panama 20 President Taft arrayed
IN a black instead Of a white waist
coat. Serious representations have
been made 10 our government through
Secretary # State Knox. nd the
condition Is likely 70 grow serious
unless the amende honorable Is
made.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26


hasn't heard that old slang phrase.
oh. you kid. for a long time
now.
That James Lansburgh, the prince
of dr. goods merchants. declares
that he knows that II he ever gets
killed in an automobile accident the
papers viii spell his name wrong.
That DR.. Cecil French. the able
veterinarian, says that anybody who
sees a dead mule Is a fool Tor luck.
That ]. r. Wright. the under
taker. says that if most people could
pronounce the names Of the diseases
that trDuble them they would re-
cover.
That NJ. Stein, the tailor. says
that the intellectual woman Is the
enc that is always talking about
how nice the boys clothes Mt them,
That George Gibson, the printer.
SAYS il is almost as bad 10 be IN
the hands Of your friends as IN the
hands Of a receiver
That Ed Stocket, the ststionef.
says that ne hates 10 lie. but that
Il IS sometimes necessary to make
up something good to say about
your friends.
That A. ]. walford. the dealer in
sporting goods. says that he wishes
he had the business earnssness and
hustle OF the chap who Is trying %
raise IS cents for 3 dEink.
That Il. p. Andrews. the paper
dealer. says that II az inst you do
succeed. keep on hustling and sue
coed again.
That Harry Hahn, the shoe dealer.
says that Women's shoes wouldn't
lock so small if the heel wasn't in
the middle Of the sole.
That viii West. the hardware
man. has invented 6 hat horn 70
be used after a hard night.
That Joel Hiilmsn. the restaurant
man. SAYS that oleomargarine tastes
Just like butter if you can only mud
/ 4 hair OF two in IL
That William Terrell, the real
estate dealer, says you can't get rich
! at the game by singing mud.
That Zack McGee. the weil-knoWn
correspondent. thinks you can't be
lieye all you see in the papers.
That Charles Kinney, the builder.
says that two can rent nat Just as
cheaply as one.
That Joe Craig. the real estate
man. SAYS that he wishes he owned
some lots in the Culehra Cut. Pan
ANA Canal. for they move 50 rap
idly.
That Fred Gatcheil is 50 jealous
Of his title as the Beau Bummel
Of r street that il costs him a
I fortune for new clothes.
Tha; Paul Waters. Of the Chesa-
pcake Beach railroad, has written
a popular song entitled THE Tour
Isl Trade Has Ended; We Have Got
TO Spoon az Home. "
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26
PeIts or Pipe.

From the Springfield Republican.
The relations between Senator Cum
minis and the standpat successor OF Mr.
Deliver viii be closely watched. Sena-
tor-elect Young, who has spent years
fighting Mr. Cummins. announces his
purpose 10 work tremendously with his
colleague. Mr. Young calls for the re-
union Of the Republican party. What
does Mr. Cummlns call for? Pelts? Or
the pipe Of peace?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26
Always ApprehenEive,

The pessimist cannot amend
His customary form.
All sunny days to him portend
A terrifying storm.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26
Often Hnnnens.

Il never see them together any more.
Yet they always used TO be such good
friends"
Haven't you heard? They went and
spoiled It all by getting married"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

Still 1t is rather rubbing it in when a
Chicago policeman who has laid by $780,
900 says that now he is going Ito take
things easy" They must have come that
way for him all the time
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26
In n New York Restaurant.

beg pardon, num-" said the waiter,
but we can't serve a lady unaccom-
panied by a gentleman"
II presume any sort Of an escort will
|do?"
eyes. num-"
"In that case telephone down to the
bread line and have them send up a
hungry man"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26
Getting Down 10 Facts.

"Ilave you any new-laid eggs?'
mo new-laid eggs. madam; but we
have some that I can personally guaran-
tee to be less than six months Old
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

A Massachusetts woman wants a d.
voree from her husband because he prays
too much. The gentleman should remem-
Der Tennysons dictum: HE prayeth best
who loveth best"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26
A Good Showing.

From the Chicago Recon-Herah-
When we take into account the number
OF guns sold annually. a town that has
2 decennial increase or only 10 per cent
in its population is doing pretty well.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

''What are you so deeply interested inY
TITS a serial story about some people
who are saving for a steam yacht.
Good story. is it,
Yes: and / expect it viii run on for
years and years,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26
Marse Henry Has No Faith.

From she Loulsyile CouFierJoIraL
II there were any probability that
permanent tariff commission would
shrivel the graft, its pres mt hackers
would he IT'S hot opponents.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
THE RETURN TpIl,.

We all went down to Turkeytown
To spend Thanksgiving Day.
The time we had was gay and glad.
Delightful was our stay.
But coming back we jumped the trach
And got a dreadful spill.
And some, I'll bet, are stranded yet
in old Dyspepsiayille,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

According to Chancellor L1oyd-George, OF
England, the leading nations of the world
will pay this year $3.50, O00O 900 for arma-
ment. Peace hath her expenses no less
burdensome than war
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

Now that the Thanksgiving dinner
things have been cleared away. she can
give her undivided attention to the
Christmas shopping.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26
Not Hampered.

Fourteen killed and forty injured dur
ing the football season"
Then the new rules didn't hurt the
game, after ALL"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

Secretary Wilson says that cheaper Nv
ing under the Democrats means patches
On the elbows Well, that's better than
Republican patches on the seats of the
pants of the plutocrats.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26
One Suggestion Already.

From the Detroit FIee Press
Yesterday we asked for advice onhoW
70 open can OF sardines when thelzey
breaks.
Right back in the mall came this ug-
gestion.
TRY another can.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

Every one who has rejoiced over The
Reyeries OF a Bachelor" will be glad that
Tx Marvel Donald G. Mitchell, Is to
have permanent monument at New
Haven.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

Because the colonel spoke in Washing
ton about his African hunting trip and
eschewed politics. some of the papers are
talking about his "gameness.'
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26
No Doubt.

'He says his wife has no sense of
hurnor"
HE must have been trying TO humor
her"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26
QUERY ANSWERED.

Gladys-What sort Of figure should
| have 10 90 on the stagey A
81 with as many ciphers behind it
as possible.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

The insurgent Senators seem to think
1t better to hold balance of power than
TO be the balance of a Democratic ma
ioritv
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

We have had a chance TO see how the
new football rules work; now let us see
what new Congressional rules they Will
formulate
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26
Ohio's Way.

From the indianapolis Star
Ohio would think II fair geographical
distribution for the nominees in 1919 20
be Taft and Harmon.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

From private and unofficial sources
The Big Stick IS able to state that
the correspondent IN question was
Mr.. jeremiah Matthews, II the New
York Sun. Mr.. Matthews took the
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

A Virginia jury decides that roulette is
game Of unequal chances" Very I'M
equal for the outsiders.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

People begin TO think little better OF
the British House Of Lords. They have
mustered up nerve enough To fight back
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

After March Mr. Cannon VIII have a
chance 10 fire a few points of order al
the Chair.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

OF course, II every person did his or
her Christmas shopping early. the pur-
pose of II all would be defeated
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

It seems awful hard for those London
suffragettes TO act like perfect ladies'"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26
Thankful After Election.

From the ST. Paul Pioneer Press
Canada observed October 81 as Thanks
giving Day. In this country We have
more cause for thankfulness after the
election.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

The Brooklyn legislator who claims he
was offered 100000 for his vote is paying
neat compliment 10 his own impor-
lance.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

case stone walls do not prison make,
nor iron bars cage"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

Mr.. Foss talks as though ne had been
elected member OF the Massachusetts
legislature
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

The population OF New York has
greatly increase since the previous CEN
sus. No one is bold enough. however. TO
state that it has improved.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

There is no law against using the mails
TO obtain votes by false pretenses.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

II. c. G. &. c. stiles that he
hasn't another &C. in his name.
Billy Heushsw that he has just as
much hair as he had last year.
Charlie Berry that the poodle duck
dinner IS almost here.
VII Guide that he viii soon be
an ex-president Of the Chamber Of
Commerce.
Gen. Harries that he was re-
elected president q tie Board u
Trade.
Dan Callahan that there is not
launching every day.
Uncle Dan FRASER that be is
seotchmau.
Roe FiIkerson that the business
doctor is dead.
Is. H. warner SIS tAat lnSic II
not another Congressional election
until 1912.
J Frank schoiield that his en-
ployer does not object to 8 luxuriant
mustache.
Henry Henderson that he doesn't
have 10 eat dinner down town every
night.
Harry Claiin shat his customers
have the habit Ct breaking their
glasses often.
Jack Pickatt that he is able to
eat three meals a dav and pay for
same in coin Of the realm.
jim strayer that automobiles we're
invented,
Joe Kaufman that he is permitted
10 live in Washington instead Of
Philadelphia.
Frank McCathran that he didn't
60 10 Seattle 70 spend the remainder
Of his days.
Charlie Jones that he saw the
error Of his ways aud got married.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26
YES

If Paul Tamplet is seen without a
cigar in his mouth, It Is because he
has none in his pocket ana a cigar
store is not in sight.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

a wilkesbarre tPa) man preferred jail
to goipg home to his wife In such
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

VII Guide that he will soon be
an ex-president OF the Chamber Of
Commerce.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

Gen. HaTries that he was re
elected president = tie Board u
Trade.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

Billy HenshsW that he has just a
much hair as he had last year.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

Charlie Berry that the poodle daes
dinner IS almost here.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26
4 Hhfos
EvsryHsaA
ONE CENT.
1T HAS BEEN STATED

That ]. B. Henderson. the we'll
known upholsterer. says that he
hasn't heard that old slang phrase.
oh. you kid. for a long time
now.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26
GIVE THANKS

H. c. c. {. c. Stiles that he
hasn't another "C' in has name.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26
ELECTION VIEWS.
Rewritinx PoIlticaI Hl.tory.

From the New York Evening Post
The necessity of rewriting American POI
litlcal history at this date IS discourage
ing. But there is no way out of It, The
long-aecepted conclusions Of political IN
vestigators must be revised All the books
dealing with the subject VIII have to be
replaced by new ones. The cause Of this
upheaYal is our townsman, Mir. Jacob
Riis. who has started the revision by
giving the true view Of the recent cleo
ton. What We ourselves had anticipated,
with shortsighted leyity. as a merely
humorous possibility, this political analyst
does seriously. II Mr. Roosevelt, he de-
clares. had not raised a staying hand.
Gov.-elect Dix might have approached
Grover cleveland's f92. 000 majority Sim
Harry, it was only Mr.. Bryan's staying
hand that kept McKinley's majorities
down 10 their record-breaking heights
and Gen. MeClellan's that kept Lincoln
from having a walkover IN 1854. and Har-
rison that kept Cleveland from having
an even bigger landslide in 1882.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26
Is Ray state ohautauquaizeds

From the New York sun.
Senator Lodge certainly does belong to
the old order OF things and the old order
Of statesmen. He is a man Of intellect.
OF training. Of accomplishment, OF vide
knowledge OF affairs, OF long and honor
able experience in public life Judging
from the progressive spirit in so many
other States, its triumph means the sub
stituton OF mediocrlty. OF inexperience,
OF OF shallow demagogy for those quail
ties which have been illustrated In the
United States Senate BY such names as
John Quincy Adams, Harrison Gray Otis,
Daniel Webster. Edward Everett Rufus
Choate. Robert c. Winthrop. Charles
Sumner, and George r Hoar
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

Read the Bingvine Bugle tomorrow.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26
vol. ". NO. 2S.
EVERY SATURDAY.

Our Motto; you sec it in The Big
Stick. il ism I necessarily so.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

Roe Fulkerson that the business
doctor Is dead.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

Dan Callahan that there is not
launching every DAY.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

Uncle Dan Fraser that be is a
Seotchmau.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

B. H. Warner, ST., that there is
not another Congressional election
until 1912.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26
Gibe from Empire stnte.

From he BROOKLYN Eagle.
John A. Dix, the successful candidate
In the State OF New York, spent S4,372. %
as election expenses. Eugene n Foss.
the successful candidate for governor IN
Massachusetts, spent $4,000 Henry L.
Stimson, the Republican and unsuccessful
candidate for governor in New York.
spent $.292.63 Eben s. Draper the Re
publican and unsuccessful candidate for
governor in Massachusetts. spent 81 900.
The total vote OF Massachusetts did not
much exceed 10000. The total vote OF
New York exceeded 10000 The total
vote of the FIVE boroughs comprising the
city Of New York was at least 1000
more than was cast in the whole State
OF Massachusetts and yet while the
gubernatoriei candidates in the latter
Stale spent over $4,000 in the strife for
office, those Of New York expended less
than 5000. Could anything be more elo-
quent than these figures?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

J Frank Schoiield that his EN-
ployer does not object to q luxuriant
mustache.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

That James Lanshurgh. the prince
a dry goods merchants, declares
that he knows that II he ever gets
killed in an automobile accident the
papers viii spell bis name wrong.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-11-26

Frank McCathran that he didn't
60 10 Seattle 70 spend the remainder
Of his days.
Charlie Jones that he saw the