davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Elmore County Republican. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1910-1915, 1910-09-03
Located.

Old Gentleman Ito waiter)--Can
you tell me II my wife is here?
Walter-Yes. sir, eighth hat to the
left.--Fliegende Blaetter.
Elmore County Republican. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1910-1915, 1910-09-03
Stune.

) F1ksner-You do not recognize IT,
ties 'this country?
Nyive---Well, | guess you're right
about that. considering the number OF
bogus noblemen who work US every
year
Elmore County Republican. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1910-1915, 1910-09-03

Be sure to include borax In the
toilet accessories when going off for
an outing Should the water be hard,
borax will soften it, so that the skin
will not suffer
Elmore County Republican. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1910-1915, 1910-09-03

1t Is wise to put sand into the bot
tom of tall vases before slipping the
sand will prevent the flowers from
being topheavy.
Elmore County Republican. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1910-1915, 1910-09-03

We are sent into this world to make
1t better and happier. and in proper
ton as we do so we make ourselves
both.-Dr Gelkie.
Elmore County Republican. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1910-1915, 1910-09-03

Some men are loved for the enc
mics they have made, but more are
loved for the dollars they have inner
ited.-Chicago News.
Elmore County Republican. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1910-1915, 1910-09-03

Liberty is represented by female
but the suffragette is firmly convinced
that the facts are all to the contrary
Elmore County Republican. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1910-1915, 1910-09-03

Some men are self-made and some
others are wife-made.
Elmore County Republican. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1910-1915, 1910-09-03

The man who likes people can be
led to like any really good thing
Elmore County Republican. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1910-1915, 1910-09-03
EnuIish as She is Spoke.

Chinatown Visitor-John, sabee, see
screen-how much sabee want for
him?
The Chinaman-What's the matter
with you? Can't you speak English p
Judge.
Elmore County Republican. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1910-1915, 1910-09-03

A woman never loses interest In a
man as long as he knows something
she Is anxious to find out
Elmore County Republican. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1910-1915, 1910-09-03

fool can always find another fool
10 ndmfre him.
Elmore County Republican. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1910-1915, 1910-09-03

Mrs. winslow's Soothing Syrup.
For children teetbing softens the gums, reducesin-
bAmmation albtys nn wi nd culIG. Zoc totto
Elmore County Republican. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1910-1915, 1910-09-03
ODDS AND ENDS.

The lights Of the world never tell
you to watch their smoke.
Life soon denies all pleasures to
those who deny themselves none
Elmore County Republican. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1910-1915, 1910-09-03

Don't have two strings to your bow,
but have an extra one In your pocket.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16

| by poor old Jack Costigan, sir" whose unholy
mouthing of the Anglo-Saxon tongue is more like
the blub-bubbing of a Chinese waiter than of IA
tional speech? Thackeray makes poor old Jack
Costigan speak of Arthur Pendennis as "a person
of refoined mind emiable mannurs, and, sur, a
lover of poethry." Talk of "rot" and Thackeray
is your man. The Irshman of the stage "skt," and
of the English and early American novel is sim
| ply not Irish 1t was Sydney Fisher who said the
Giants Causeway was worth seeing, but not
worth going to see" and so it is with Saxon and
American writer's of the Irish peasants speech,
who think it's not worth going to Ireland to get
the Irish flavor They find it all in the English
and American Punch and Judge
The recently published Famous Comic Reel
tatons' is about the dirtiest and meanest apology
for wit and humor put the tables of the book
sellers for some years. The publisher claims to
have gathered his "Recitations' of which are
not worth tinker's malediction-from everywhere
His Irish selections, like 'Maoney's Cow"
"O'Grady's Goat" and Others an insult to
every man proud of a corpuscle of Irish blood
Even Seumas MacManus, who lectured in our
city last March, made pitiable failure OF the
Irish brogue. He is well enough in his way, but
his way is not the Irish way.
The best of the modern writer's on the local
color, language humor and habits OF the irish
people at home are "Somerville and Ross" two
Irish girls, who have given us Adventures OF an
Irish K NJ" and Further Adventures Miss
Jane Barlow, Lady Gregory, Douglas Hyde, Yeates,
Shan Bullock and Katherine lyman, who IS always
tender and pathetic. But if anyone cares to know
the Irish people, their habits maners, domestic
and religious life as they we're eighty years ago,
he must get acquainted with the writings of John
and Michael O'Hara-the Banim brothers-Mrs.
Doherty, Thomas Davis, Moore, Gavan Duffy,
Charles Hickman, Clarence Mangan, William
Carleton-whose "Black Prophet" is a classc-and
Gerald Griffin, who gave us the "Collegians" dra
matized by Dion Boucicault into the Colleen
Bawn" out of which he made a fortune. The
"Collegians" is masterpiece of literature and is
among the greatest novels of the English language
The Ancient Order of Hibernians has driven
the Irish buffoon, the Pat Rooneys and the Null
doons off the stage rotten-egged them out of
sight, SO to say. Who will now crush the wretches
who are insulting in books, magazines and news
papers with their dirty jokes and references to the
pats" the ''Mickeys" and the "Biddies"
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16
1T is TO LAUGH, MONSIEUR. !"

Here is choice specimen taken from one of
our Salt Lake papers, illustrating Irish humor and
the Anglo-Irish accent. It's a corker:
Remember, Bridget, the watch which 1 pre-
scented to you last week must be wound very care
fully every night before you go to bed" said the
mistress.
"Oh Oh nuvur knowed that, m'am," said Bird
get. "Now, begobs s'pose I've destroyed ut"
FWhy, when have you been winding itP'
"The furst thing in the morning, man, when
gets out of bed" answered Bridget, sorrowfully.
What do you think of it2 "Rot." Of course
it is; but what do you think of the intelligence of
the fellow who clipped this from rural magazine
and spread it out for the readers of city news
paper which pays him for handling the scissors?
The Bridgets the 'Micks" the "Pats" and the
Irshmen of the comic papers and of the theatrical
stage are dead. They never had an objective ex-
istence in Ireland or America. They were low car
features begotten from the brain of bigotry and
nursed the breasts of ignorance and intolerance.
We know Ireland from Cape Clear to Malin Head,
and we have never met spoken to the peasant
with the billycock hat with a clay pipe stuck
jaunty in the band, and shelah resting in the
hollow of his right hand. The lowliest of the
hard working peasantry has not the ethnologically
repulsive physiognomy the British and American
cartoonists give him-the jaw of the brutal Grim
inal, the mouth of monkey. the pinched and re-
ceding forehead, and nose that apologies for
existing at all. He has not the brogue the fun
writer and the low comedian put on his tongue He
does not say "Oireland" or @indade" or behave"
as foolwriters tell us. To be sure, we do not ex-
pect from these third-raters an Unborn and in
grained knowledge of the speech of the Irish peas
ant, nor indeed passing familiarity or even
street acquaintance with Irish literature or the
PEASANTS language. Even the great Thackeray,
who ought to have known better, for he toured
Ireland, makes woeful failure of it when he
wrestles with the brogue Was ever language
heard in the eight little island" like to that spoken
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16
ALBANY TO NEW YORK BY AIR.

1t is not likely that the date of May 20, 1910,
will be recorded in the histories a hundred years
hence as memorable date, although it marks the
first aerial trip made virtually the
as that taken by Robert Fulton with his Clermont
on September 2, 1907. The Clermont was the first
practical demonstration of steam applied to navi-
cation. 1t revolutionized navigation; it opened the
way for the wonderful development of commerce
which we have seen since. The first aerial trip,
however, has done nothing of the kind Therefore,
the wonderful feat of Glenn Ell. Curtss will not be
recorded as an event of worldwide Importance.
Just now, though, there is much interest in his ac-
complishment In his aeroplane he left Albany at
1908 a. m, and arrived at Governors island at 10
noon, having covered $50 miles in four hours and
ffty-seven minutes. Curtiss stopped an hour at
Poughkeepsie and an hour and eleven minutes at
Inwood. His actual time in fight, according to
official figures, was two hours and forty-six min
utes, and he made an average of 54O6 miles an
hour. For his work he received prize of $4,000
offered by the New York World for the first sue
cessful flight from Albany to New York
How different are the rewards for skill and in
ventiveness today from what they were in Full
a flight by which nothing has been accomplished
except the fight and the bringing of the aeroplane
record from M. Paulhan in France to Mr. Curtiss
in America. Fulton applied steam to navigation
and, SO far as we know, never got anything out
of his invention, although his achievement opened
up new era in civilization. Several years.
after the successful trip of the Clermont Fulton
turned his attention to the marine bomb, and in
vented the torpedo. He offered this new weapon
of destruction to France, Holland and Great Brit
ain, but none of these nations would buy the in
vention, although Fulton gave public exhibition.
of its effectiveness in Great Britain. The United
States would not buy, either but some six years
later, Fulton was encouraged to make further ex-
periments by an appropriation of $4,000 from the
national treasury.
Thus hundred years ago, two inventions, the
practicability of applying steam to navigation and
the torpedo, brought Robert Fulton the munifcent
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16
A BOOK WORTHY OF NOTICE.

One of the keenest and most learned theolo-
gians, who lived in Rome few years ago, when
asked to publish his Praelections," answered, "Ohi
Oh! When one-tenth part of what has already been
well written has been CLEANED out from the heaps
of chaff, it will be time enough to print more"
In closing that work of Divine Inspiration the
Book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon said: "The words
of the wise are as goads, and as nails deeply SET
which by the counsel of masters, are given by One
Pastor Farther than these, my son, you need not
seek. Of the making of books there is no end"
(Eccl. xii, II, 12)
Still the movement and changes which belong
to human life call for some books, not only to
captivate attention by calling them new, but be-
cause nne-tenths of the reading public demands
what is new. The incidents of daily and human
life require books on all conceivable subjects. AS
to nine hundred and ninety out of every thou
sand of them it invites act of faith in the Di
vine Inspiration of Holy Writ, for to agree with
Solomon, that to decide to read them, to
the table of contents, except now and then,
is for any well regulated intellect, "an affiction
of the flesh"
But, occasionally book full of local interest is
written by one who SPEAKS with authority" with
a thorough knowledge of the matter at hand and
a feicitous manner of expressing himself. This
week we received book of this kind, and have
carefully read it. The title of this book of nearly
260 pages is:
"Our Inland Seattle Story of Homestead"
by Alfred Lambourne The Deseret News, pub
fishers.
Mr.. Lambourne hermitaged for nine months on
Gunnison island, Great Salt Lake, and in "Our
Inland Sea-" he spreads before u.s. as on shart, his
solitary meditations his sublime thoughts and a
wealth of information of the fora and geology of
the desolate piece of rock and earth. 1t is i'm
ample justice to Mr.. Lambournes book. 1t is a
poem in prose set in descriptive frame formed
from Imagination rich in conception and from
a memory stored with classic quotation.
The author is many years in advance of the
education of his times and his environment, for
his work addresses itself to class of readers
rarely found away from metropolitan cities. An
effeminate novel by some erotic female, trashy
romance from the pen of a third-rate scribbler,
will, in state and generation, command gen.
erous patronage while works of genuine merit,
like "Our Inland Sea-" will rest in obscurity and
neglect on the shelves of the booksellers.
We do not know how many copies of this very
meritorious book have been sold in our city and
state but suspect that the learned author shares
the fortune of the Hebrew prophet, "who was not
without honor, but in his own country, and in his
own house, and among his own kindred"
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16

me than all my cabinet put together. The people
OF England, like the people of most other coun-
tries, may be divided into two parties the wise and
the fools, and 1 am prime minister over both of
them. Now, in bringing forward my measures, L
know what the wise will think of them, but how am
l to know what the other party will think? So l
submit them to Lord Sundon, and, when L listen
to him. know fairly well what the fools think.
Every prime minister keeps Foolometer; Lord
Smldon is mine"
Our Divine Lord, when legislating for our race
had no Lord Sundon for Foolometer, and, as
consequence, His measures satisfy only the WISE
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16
MUSKRAT.

1t will surprise our readers to know that 49,
biological bureau of the United States deDartnsr.
of agriculture believes that present prices IS
muskrat furs might we'll repay investment of GOV.
ital in their production. The skins are worth f
IS cents to 40 cents apiece in Baltimore. vbar.
they manufactured into articles of wearing or
parel and sold under another name 1t NAV OIL.
be somewhat of a surprise to know that the dressed
carcass of the muskrat is worth something as D.,
article of food. The biological bureau is authorize,
for the statement that Carefully guarded preserves
(for the propagation of muskrats) will weld steady
and profitable returns"
Here is an opportunity for anyone who sgbs
for the open air, the lake and the forest and H..
field, yet whose desires for the wild free life are o
strong enough within him to pillow and sow and ron,
and carry on the ordinary work of the husband
man. Swamp lands, the one essential to proftaB.
propagation of the muskrat, can be had in almost
any state in the Union for almost nothing Turn
a few muskrats loose upon these lands or svamns
and in season or two there will be a crop of rn7sL
rats ready for the trapper, and profitable return.
for the hides. The animal will forage for himself
To show the economic value of the muslrar #
may be said that in Dorchester county, MARYLAND
the industry brings in no less than 100000 an
nuslly.
Farmers Bulletin $685." issued by the boIoa.
ical bureau, tells all about the muskra-hs habits
how he builds his houses, what he is worth. how
to trap him and how to skin him. The bulletin
treats him a nuisance where he burrows int,
dams and embnakments, but given a swampy coun-
try he ceases to be "pest" and becomes an animal
of real value to trappers. In numbers he exceeds
all other fur-bearing animals
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16
GEORGE V.

All those who remember the Victorian reign in
Great Britain will recall the pessmsitic reflections,
both in the United States and European countries,
regarding the probabilities of continuance of the
present royal family on the throne of England.
Predictions were freely made that the then Prince
of Wales would never be crowned. At the end of
the reign of Edward VII, many dsquieting ru-
mors we're afoat as to the peculiar unhtness Of
George V, the present monarch. Many reports
tending to reflect on Georges ability were spread
broadcast, and many qualities entirely contradic
tory attributed to him. King George is re-
ported to be essentially democratic in his tastes
by writer, and another writer doubt equally
well informed as to the kings characteristics,
thoritatively informs US that he has decided
leaning toward aristocracy and prerogative. He is
described as lacking in thoroughness and as being
extremely thorough. Other equally gro tesque
statements concerning the new king have emanated
from somewhere, so that the conclusion is inevita-
BILE that somebody does not know what he is writ
ing about, condition which prevailed in the Vic
torian era concerning King Edward. Certain it
is that King George has travelled over large por-
ton of his dominions and doubtless has profted
by the education which it his right and privi-
lege to enjoy. Whether he turns out to be a good
king is for the future to tell. No one we believe
has questioned his ability as a sailor. He was bred
to the navy.
He ascends the throne in the midst of a consti-
tutional crisis-in an hour approximating revolu-
ton, when the Liberal party is attempting the
overthrow of the House of Lords. 1t is doubtful
if anybody knows just what the king will do in this
matter; doubtful if his closest advisers know, or
that the king himself knows. If he can be said
that the reign of George V has really begun, it
must be said that it has begun well. He showed
plainly that he realized the responsibilities of his
new position in his address few hours after his
fathers death. And when he issued orders permit
ting the resumption of business throughout the eff
pire, he evidenced thoughtfulness for the COM
mon welfare that was not hampered by any POM
posity so often attributed to kings.
The fight involving the very life of the House of
Lords will be delayed for time, but the question
inevitably will come up again. And when it is final
ly threshed out in the commons and the lords the
final decision will devolve upon the king But
whether that final decision will be favorable to the
Conservatives or to the Liberals under Premier As
quith no man can tell. Surmse, pessimistic and
optimistic according to its source, is about all there
is upon which to base an opinion as to where the
kings influence will be cast, and how much it will
amount to when the decision is finally made.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16
THE 1NTERMoUNrA1N CATHOLIC JULY 16 1910.

to goats milk" The sour and buttermilk drinkers
of the Balkans have the nerve to call themselves
centenarians and as the claim hurts nobody, they
are permitted to have it their own way.
1t looks as if the venerable Daniel OConnelL
with his 1O5 years, and the yet more venerable Re
becca Clark, who, the cable informs us, was 1O1
on July f. must, with the Balkan centenarlans, ask
admission to the ancient and honorable Ananias
club. founded at Jerusalem, A. D. SO.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16
CORRESPONDENTS snII(
CARD FROM BISHOP sCA-LAN.

feel it my duty to protect Catholics and the pub
Tic generally from fraud and imposition by notifying
them from time to time that person bearing the
name and garb Of priest sister, anyone else, In
authorized permitted 10 solicit collect In this
diocese for purpose whatever connected with the
Catholic Church without having from permission
In writing, bearing my seal and signature. Should
anyone be found engaged in doing this unlawful
work collecting without such document he or
she as the may be- should be regarded by all
fraud and an imposter. I. SCANLAAN.
Bishop Of Salt Lake.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16

sum of $4,000, "for further experiments vbir. E.;
1910 an aeroplainist receives twice that sum e..
making flight of $50 miles, flight that IN ~.
way has promoted the art of flying, and Am aro..
that will be forgotten within a month Certoi,r
times have changed.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16
TO OUR SUBSCRIBERS.

The Intermountain Catholic goes into nearly every
Catholic home in this diocese It's circulation in Mon
sana- IDAHO Colorado Wyoming, Nevada and many
other states Is very large Only reliable firms and
business men advertise In the paper All subscribers
VIII find 1t to their advantage when ebout invest
purchase or consult business matters to read over
She list OF our advertisers. We not only recommend
put ask for them the patronage Of all our reader
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16

When looking at home with the expressed in
tention of buying If the prospective purchaser
hasn't the necessary cash to make the first pay
ment, invariably the seller is impressed that the
house IS not good enough for the purchaser
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16

Many man worries through the day and is
as tired at night as if he had done something use
full.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16

Good neighbors are the kind that always have
on hand what you forgot to get at the grocery the
day before.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16

Of course you can't fool all the people all the
time but they be fooled often enough to make
it interesting.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16

The pictures of the costumes of our woman
friends of the early SOS do not look any funnier
than those of the present day will fifty years
hence
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16

An ice cave has been found in Kentueky-and
just when Kentucky is getting the "dry', fever
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16

1t isn't much harder to run an automobile than
it is washing machine, but it is lots more fun.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16

Certainly it wasn't for tho reason that money
talks that womanis face Eas chosen Cor the dec
Grafton for the almighty doflaa,
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16

What leavening is to cake enthusiasm is to
work; without it, the job is likely to fall flat.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16

Men who know their business are wise enough
to seek the advice of their wives in any under
taking affecting both.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16

Paradoxical as it may seem, enthusiasm added
to heavy task will make the task lighter.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16
BE KNEW A BETTER WAY.

Teacher-H that little colored boy strikes you,
Tommy, you mustn't strike him back
Tommy-You bet | won't-I1l kick him in the
shins cleveland Plain Del
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16

An aeronaut must necessarily be a high flyer
to attract any attention in this day and age.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16

The laundering of the currency, however will
only tend to make it more desirable possess
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16

The open cars will come but then the joy riding
in them will be marred by the end-seat hog.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16

A shining mark is not the kind the person
makes when he can't write his name
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16

Colds. and bad habits are alike in that they are
easy to catch and hard to shake off.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16

Happiness naturally follows a course of kind
words aud good deeds.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16

high roller in this day is mighty poor imi
tation of a high flyer
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1910-07-16

A roll of bills fresh from the government laun-
dry may be literally tidy sum.