davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-03-30
Subtle ElatterY.

Walters Nos. and . peeped out at
the baldheaded man, then ducked be-
hind the screen.
None of him for me-" said Waiter
No. l. "He doesn't tip"
Same here" said Waiter No. 2.
"Ill fix him." said Walter No. 3.
He took an order for soup. Before
serving II he showed the two mutt
neers hair floating on the surface Of
the soup. They marveled then, and
they marveled still more when at the
end OF the baldheaded mans dinner
the waiter returned with dollar bill.
"Ninety-nine baldheaded men In a
hundred can be worked that way" he
said IF the customer doesn't see the
hair himself | call his attention to 1t
and make him think 1t fell out of his
own head. The fact that he had a
hair to lose SO appeals to his vanity
that he loves me for finding it and
gives me tip big enough to cover the
cost Of dozen plates Of soup."-Chi-
cago Tribune.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-03-30
IT IS SERIOUS.
Some Lambertviile People Fail to Realize
the Seriousness Of Bad Back.

The constant aching Of bad back,
The WEAKNESS, the tired feeling,
The pains and aches OF kidney ills
Are serious-if neglected.
Dangerous urinary troubles follow.
A Lambertville citizen shows you
how to avoid them.
Mrs. A. Hartman, 2l9 n Union St, Lambert
vile, N. j.. says: Il suffered from sharp pains
through the small of my back and was also
bothered by headaches and dizzy spells.
could not stoop or straighten without diff
Guilty and although tried number of rene
dies, my health gradually ran down. l final
ly used Doans Kidney Pills procured at Geo.
NJ. Shamalia's Drug Store and promptly re-
moved the pains across my back and restored
my kidneys to normal condition"
For sale by all dealers. Price so
cents Foster ilburn Co., Buffalo,
New York, sole agents for the United
States.
Remember the name-Doan's-and
take no other.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-03-30
Eoraot pootor,a Fee.

A former st. Marys student, writing
from Sac Paulo, In Brazil. In the st.
Mary's Hospital Gazette, says: "A few
days back was giving chloroform to
a patient when l felt touch on my
shoulder, and voice said, The pa
tent is very stlll.' said. He Is quiet
all right and the voice replied: i am
his brother; II he dies you die. l have
pistol, and there are eight Of us!'
Here. II any one Is III. all the family
collects. and they sit In the same room
as the patient and watch what is
done" The doctor adds, "Unfortu-
nately, though there were eight Of
them. they forgot my fee"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-03-30
A Reliable
Remedy
sly's Cream Balm


Gives Relief al Once.
II cleanses, soothes,
heals and protects
the diseased men,
brane resulting from
Catarrh aud drives
away a Cold in the
Head quickly. Re-
stores the Senses of
N
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-03-30
Didn't Know Beans,

A young woman was talking In q
restaurant You see." she was say
ing, sit was my first experience In
cooking beans. We are SO fond OF
them i wanted to be sure and have
enough. SO 1 ordered three pounds at
the corner grocer's. This looked about
the right amount, and put them on
the range and left them to boil tender
When i went into the kitchen again
the range was covered with beans, SO
was the floor. and out Of the kettle
poured a steady stream Of beans.
took part of them out, added more wa
ter and again left them. II you'll be-
lieve it had to take out three more
large portions Of beans before the
original mass became manageable. So
I'm not ordering beans just yet even
ut a restaurant York Sun.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-03-30

IHsI6 Hllu ohieII. run size % cts. !, at Drug
gists or by mail. In liquid form, rs cents.
Ely Brothers. So Warren Street, New York.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-03-30
The Difference,

Mrs. Dash-The idea Of Mrs. Rash
having society aspirations! Why. her
father was peddler! Mr.. Dash-Yes.
she's entirely too forward. She ought
to hang back until people have forgot
ten It. Now. In your case. my dear.
It was your grandfather who was a
peddler.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-03-30
Honalesa.

Lawyer-You don't like the jury?
Defendant do not. No. Is my
tailor. No. is my grocer. No. s Is my
milk and egg dealer and No. is my
wife's first husband What chance
have | got?"-St. Paul Dispatch
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-03-30

The Youth Yes. I'm In business for
myself, but don't seem to be able to
meet with any success.
The Sage-Nobody ever meets with
business. young man. He must over.
take II PHILADELPHIA Press
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
Farmer. should cat more oatmeal.

Although the farmer of today is able
to buy almost anything he wants to
wear or eat he isn't paying enough
attention to food values when 1t comes
to his own table.
He feeds his stock carefully, avoids
over-feeding and selects the stock food
that he believes will give the best re-
turns instrength and general efficiency.
II he has been watching the extern
sive researches and experiments on
the question Of the best human food
for muscle and brain he will heed the
advice from all sides to eat more
Quaker Oats"
Quaker Oats is mentioned because
It is recognized in this country and
Europe as the best OF all oatmeals.
Feeding farm hands on Quaker Oats
means getting more work out Of them
than II you feed them on anything
else. 81
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
In New Hampshire.

That irresponsible Manchester Union
man gave himself surprise party by
going to church last Sunday and this
was the result: "On this first
Sunday of Lent, while George Bailey
of the Houston Post is sacrilegiously
fishing for eels in Texas bayou, and
the (married) paragrapher OF the
Kennebeck Journal is tapping his
boots, and the Ging-Ging Goophus Of
the Springfield Union is playing seven.
up, we, In common with other goot
New Hampshire people, shall dutifull,
attend church."-Springfield Union.
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
5000 Out in Northern Colorado.

Denver.-More than 5000 members
of the United Mine Workers Of Amer.
lea, In District No. is. which repre-
sents the northern coal fields of Colo
RADIO. have ceased work as result Of
the decision reached by the executive
board of the organization at its meet.
ing held at the headquarters Of the
union Friday morning, and by joint
conference which was also held dur.
ing the day with the committee rep
resenting the operators Of northern
Colorado.
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
Only a Vacation; viii Enjoy It.

Belleville, Ill.-"Don't be alarmed
over the outcome of this affair; don't
be afraid that we will not be able to
sign up an agreement. 1t will all be
over within thirty days. Anyhow, this
is good fishing weather"
This was the advice of Thomas l..
Lewis, president OF the United Mine
Workers of America, in addressing
5000 of the $4,000 Illinois mine work
ers who have quit work Friday after
noon.
'It is not work we want" he contin-
ued. Were willing to do our part,
but we want a full and complete share
of the results OF our labor and we will
never be satisfied until we get it"
In an interview Mr.. Lewis expressed
absolute confidence in the outcome of
the present suspension Of work and
said the miners will win all their de-
mands within thirty days in all the
fields, with the possible exception of
Illinois and western Pennsylvania. In
these latter fields he says the condi-
tions are different than in the others
and more time may be necessary.
II want to say again." he said, that
this is not a strike. 1t is Just vaca-
ton and the miners really will enjoy
it. do not look for any shortage of
coal, nor for any suffering among the
men. The mines throughout the coun-
try have had big run for the last
four months and hundreds of tons of
coal in excess of the usual output are
now stored by the operators.
THE men are prosperous and the
unions with few exceptions have large
reserve funds on hand, SO fail to see
where anybody will suffer because OF
a temporary shutdown"
Several of the most extensive oper-
ators in the country already have
made offers for settlement, accord
ing to Mr.. Lewis, but In each instance
he has refused to negotiate or permit
them to reopen their mines. even
though promising to pay the new wage
scale from April list.
This question must be settled as a
general proposition and not through
individual operators he said.
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
Peculiar Situation Anent Or. Reisner.

Peculiar SITUATION Anent Ut. rHcISHST.
Denver.-A dispatch from Pough.
keepsie, N. Y, where the New York
Methodist conference is in session
says that novel situation has devel-
oped brought about by the application
of the Rev. DR.. Christian Reisner OF
Denver, for admission into the confer
ence SO that he may become pastor OF
Grace Methodist church. New York
city. The hitch came over the rule
that before a preacher can be trans
ferred into the district. one of equal
rank must be transferred out of it. a
rule which is supported heartily by the
ministers, as they say that 1t protects
their opportunities for good appoint
ment.
The question as to who shall be
transferred out of the conference in
order to let DR.. Reisner in was under
consideration Friday. and it devel-
oped that the conference has no man
to offer who will consent to go. 1t Is
stated that Bishop Warren has made
up his mind to admit DR.. Reisner any
how, overriding the rule. If necessary.
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
Look to Welfare Of Workmen. J..

A significant phase of the campaign
against tuberculosis in Sweden is the
establishment by various industrial
concerns, of sanatoria for tuberculous
workmen from their own factories.
The Vulcan Match Company. the
Ljusne-Voxne Timber Company, the
Sandviken Hardware Company, the
Ericsson Telephone Company and the
Stora Kopparsberg Company are
among those who maintain such insti-
tions, each accommodating from Is to
80 patients. At these sanatoria the
workmen are received free, and their
families may be admitted for a small
charge.
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
Heavy Gold Output for March.

Cripple Creek-The March output
from the producing mines of this dis
trict has again been heavy. reports OF
the representatives of the smelters at
Denver and Pueblo and managers OF
the Colorado City and local mills Civ
ing 1t as 59,065 tons. with a gross
bullion value of s1.35S.4O5. The aver
age value per ton of all ores treated
was $23.O3. as compared with $22.sl
for February The increase in out
put was G,191 tons and in value $151.'
S78. The number of tons treated by
the several plants. with the gross
value, is given below:
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
A Terrible Risk,

Typhoid had broken out in their
neighborhood and the family resorted
to travel as the best means Of precau-
ton until the trouble should subside.
They arrived at Quebec by the
morning boat. intending to take 1t to
Montreal in the evening, but the sight
seers got tired and returned early in
the afternoon to find the top Of the
smoke stack on level with the deck.
the tide having dropped IS feet.
Mamma" cried the little girl. did
God drink up all that water?"
"Yes, my child
Then hadn't we better tell him 1t
wasn't boiled?"
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
ROSY COLOR
Produced by Postum.

when a person rises from each
meal with ringing in the ears and a
general sense of nervousness, it Is
a common habit to charge it to a de-
ranged stomach.
Il found 1t was caused from drink
Ing coffee, which I never suspected for
long time, but found by leaving off
coffee that the disagreeable feelings
went away.
II was brought to think of the sub
ject by getting some Postum and this
brought me out of trouble.
1T is most appetizing and invig-
Grating beverage and has been of
such great benefit to me that l natu-
rally speak of 1t from time to time
as opportunity offers.
"a lady friend complained to me
that she had tried Postum. but it did
not taste good. In reply to my ques-
tion she said she guessed she boiled it
about ten minutes. I advised her to
follow directions and know that she
boiled 1t fifteen or twenty minutes. and
she would have something worth talk
ing about. A short time ago 1 heard
one of her children say that they were
drinking Postum nowadays, so
judge she succeeded in making it
good, which is by no means a difficult
task
THE son of one of my friends was
formerly a pale lad, but since he has
been drinking Postum, has fine color.
There is plenty of evidence that
Postum actually does make red blood
as the famous trademark says"
Read THE Road to Wellville," found
in pkgs. There's a Reason"
Ever rend the above Ietterf new
one appears from time to time. They
are genuine, true and full Of human
Interest.
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
Convict, Educating Themselves.

Canon City. Under the leadership
Of Secretary w. E. Collett Of Denver
the Colorado State Prison Association
is doing a splendid work among the
convicts of the penitentiary here, and
in consequence some six or eight
bright young men are now taking q
course through n correspondence
school in architecture, electrical en-
gineeering, bookkeeping, stenography
ETC.. SO that when they have ended
their service to Colorado they VIII
have a practical knowledge of bust
nerr by means of which they can earn
q respectable living.
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
School Children Physically Defective

Denyer.-Wiliam r. Callicotte, su-
perintendent of humane education for
the State Bureau of Child and Animal
Protection. says that as conserva-
tive estimate fifty percent of the
school children of Colorado are defec-
tive and that only half as many coun-
try school children are defective as
city school children. Eye trouble is
the most prevalent among the defects
found Next comes throat trouble.
Ear trouble usually goes with throat
trouble, and under it come adenoids
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
Conferences Being Arranged.

Indianapolis.-The union leaders
and the operators associations in the
bituminous coal fields are busy with
preparations for conferences in which.
1t is hoped, settlements on new wage
contracts will be reached. In Iowa.
western Kentucky. Indiana and Ohio,
the miners and operators seem in a
fair way to come to an agreement in
a few days. In many localities tenn
porary arrangements for continuing
work in the mines have been formu.
lated.
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
Bio Astatic Wedding.

Trinidad.-Between 400 and 500
Asiatics participated Sunday in the
wedding of Miss Maggie Barrack to
w. H. Azar. both members OF wealthy
Assyrian families OF this section. The
bridal party came to Trinidad from
Segundo in automobiles, headed by a
band, and the ceremony took place In
a large new storeroom, just erected
by the bridegroom father. Father
Aloud, an Assyrian priest OF Omaha,
performed the ceremony.
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
Literature.

IT have read this poem over doz-
en- times" said the assistant editor Of
the Highbrow Magazine, "and I can't
make head or tail to It."
"Good!" exclaimed the editor. well
hit 1t up for a feature. together with
an announcement denying that true
poetry is dead. And don't forget to
send a check for SLIPS to the fellow
who wrote it."-Lppincott's.
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
THOMAS L. LEWIS.
and the miners quit the coal pits, de-

and the miners quit the coal pits. de-
manding that their new contract must
provide for a wage increase of 5.55
per cent. a ton on screened coal and
an equivalent increase on run OF
mine" coal.
Conferences between the miners
organizations in the several districts
and the corresponding operators asso-
Citations have been arranged. Adjust
ment of the difficulty may be matter
of weeks or days.
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
Deweese Project Started.

Pueblo.-Contractor have started
work on the big Deweese irrigation
project between here and Canon City,
which is to bring over 100000 acres
OF land in the Arkansas valley under
cultivation. 1t is said that within
month 5000 men will be employed on
construction work.
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
Sues for Loss of Husband.

Fort Collins.-Suit against the
Northern Colorado Power Company for
$4,000 was filed Saturday afternoon by
Mrs. Nellie Wolcott. the widow Of
Ernest H. Wolcott. who was killed last
August near Lafayette, while trimming
a tree through which one of the high
voltage lines of the company ran.
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
Application for Mandamus.

Denvcr-Attorney General Barnett
Saturday sent down to the District
Court OF Huerfano county an applica-
tion for mandamus commanding the
county officers there to let State Au.
ditor Kenehan's experts have access
to their public records for the purpose
of auditing them.
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
Generous Christians.

Greeley.-The new Christian church
here was dedicated Sunday with elab,
crate services. Y. T. Sweeney of In
dianapolis was the principal speaker
and the sum of $4,000 was raised for
the building fund in less than two
hours by popular subscriptions.
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
IN HOSPITAL FOR NINE MONTHS.
Awful Tale of Suffering From Kidney
Trouble.
Alfred ]. O'Brien. Second ST., Ster-
ling. Colo. says: Il was in the Balti-

more Marine Hos
pital for nj n 9
months. l had a
dull pain in the
small of my back
t h a t completely
wore me out. The
urine was In a ter.
rible state. and
some days l would
pass half q gallon
of blood. l left
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
One Of His Worst.

A receptacle containing dark red
beverage-it may have been, merely
tea-was brought on the table.
"I'll play the hostess" said the pro-
fessor's granddaughter, "and as am
q society lady it is my duty to pour"
"Yes. let her do it," said the profes-
sor. "She's not only society lady.
but she's society queen-and she
never rains but she pours."
Otherwise the function was q great
success.-Chicago Tribune.
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
Interstate Auto Party.

Trinidad.-The first Of the interur
ban automobile excursions inaugural
ed by the Trinidad Motor Club took
place Sunday. when twenty cars. bear
Ing party OF nearly 100. made trip
over the Colorado-New Mexico highway
to Ration, N. NJ. Other trips will be
made to La Junta and Walsenburg.
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08

we'll at night. believe there is moth.
ing like the Pinkham remedies"
Mrs. CLARA FRANKS. R. F. D.. No. 8,
Knoxville, Iowa.
The success Of Lydia e. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound. made from roots
and herbs, is unparalleled. It may be
used with perfect confidence by women
who suffer from displacements, infam-
nation, liberation. fibroid tumors, ir-
regularities, periodic pains. backache,
bearing-down feeling, flatulency, indi-
gestion. dizziness, or nervous prostra-
tion.
For thirty years Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound has been the
standard remedy for female ills, and
suffering women owe it to themselves
to at least give this medicine q trial
Proof is abundant that 1t has cured
thousands Of others, and why should 1t
not euro you?
Ifyou want special advice write
Mrs. Pinkham, Lynn, Mass, for 1t.
It Is FREQ and always helpful.
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
WEEKS EVENTS
COLORADO
Elkton Dividend.

Colorado Springs.-The Elkton Con-
solidated Mining and Milling Company
will pay its regular b-monthly divi-
dend of " cents per share. amounting
to $37.5OO. April oath. to stockholders
of record April 14th.
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
So Different.

Mrs. Uppercrust takes such great
interest in her baby"
Yes; she says she was delightfully."-
surprised when it came, as she had
obtained her ideas about babies from
the comic supplements, you know
Puck
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
The Alternative.

"Yes." said Tom Poorman. "Ive
been invited to her wedding. but I'm
not going"
But" urged his friend, do you
think you can afford to have your ab-
sence noticed"
Better than can afford to have
my presents noticed. That's the trou.
ble."-The Catholic Standard and
Times.
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
Alas.

A little five-year-old who had been
watching her mother dress for an
evening entertainment surprised her
mother with the following question:
Mother, didn't you say you were al.
most 40 years old?"
Yes" replied the mother.
"Well," answered the little girl, you
don't look 1t tonight, but you will to.
morrow orning.'-Judge.
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
Iha student WaIter.

Guest-Why don't you bring out my
steak? l ordered 1t an hour ago. Did
you have to kill 1t first?
Waiter-Certainly. What do you
thinks this is-a vivisection laborato-
ry?-Lippincott's.
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
eu,,d,no Activity at Windsor.

Windsor.-A new town hall. $685.
900 addition to the school house, q
new telephone building and numerous
dwellings have been completed here.
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08

wfOC0 10 MfB. flnk-
ham and took Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vege.
table Co mpound
and Liver Pills, and
am glad to say that
your medicines and
kind letters Of d.
rections have done
more for me than
anything else and !
had the best physi-
clans here. I can
ao y,,v work opd rQat
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
MEMORY FAILED.

Mother-Does that cook Of yours
know her place?
Daughter-I reckon she's had too
many of them to remember.
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08

the hospital because they wanted to
operate on me. l went to st. Joseph's
Hospital at Omaha and put in three
months there without any gain. was
pretty well discouraged when was
advised to use Doan's Kidney Pills.
did so and by the time had taken
one box. the pain in the back left me.
kept right on and perfect cure
was the result"
Remember the name-Doan's.
For sale by all dealers. 80 cents a
box. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
COAL MINERS
ON VACATION
PRESIDENT LEWIS THINKS THiR.
TY DAYS WILL SEE 1T
OVER.
MANY men INVOLVED
THREE THOUSAND IN NORTHERN
COLORADO JOIN IN DE-
MANDS.

NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. the anni-
versay Friday of the institution of the
eight-hour day in the mines of the
country, 100000 bituminous coal min
ers face an enforced idleness Of un-
known duration.
In many states two-year wage con-
tracts expired Thursday at midnight
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
OF the First Water.

What did Cholly give you in the
way Of a wedding PRESENT."
"A tiara set with perfectly matched
pork chops" Louisville Courier
Journal
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
Absolute Equality.

Absolute Equality.
The Woman-The tax office is one
place which l simply love to go to.
The Man-Very few people do. Why
do you like it?
The Woman-Because 1t is absolute
ly the only place where no discrimina-
ton is made against me because am
woman. They let me there pay
Just as much as If / were a man.
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
Unavoidable

Knicker-"They want to increase
the postage on magazines"
Bocker-"Evidently anticipating the
output of the contributing editor."-
Judge.
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08

DOCTORS
FAILED
LydiaE. Pinkham's Vegeta.
bic Compound Cured Her

Knoxville, Iowa. a.-"I suffered with
pains low down in my right side for q
year or more and was SO weak and ner.
yous that I could not do my work. /
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
Ioxa Answer Postponed.

zone more question. dear?"
"Angel face. I am listening"
"Will you love me when I'm old"
well, I'll tell you. This is prac-
tical age. I'll see that you get ads-
Quate MISUNDERSTANDING Post.
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
Sounded Like Smoke.

Sounded Like Smoke.
isn't it disgraceful the way women
smoke nowadays"
"Why?"
Il Just saw an advertisement offer
ing to any woman six puffs for q dol.
lar."-Purple Cow.
The Springfield herald., 1910-04-08
In
Stops L.ameness
Here's the Proof.

Mr.. G. T. Roberts Of Resaca, Ga,
R.F.D No. !, Box 43, writes :-"I have
used your Liniment on horse for swee-
ney and effected thorough cure. al
30 removed SPAWN on mule. This
SPAWN was as large as a guinea egg. In
my estimation the best remedy for lame
ness and SORENESS in