Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1910-07-07
AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A. PEST
BY Miss Quito (Mosquito)

My recollections of childhood days
are not as vivid as those of the
Oldest inhabitant," for I have not al
ways been a good, big, healthy mos
quito, still can remember when /
was little wriggler and had thou
sands of little brother and sister
wrigglers who lived in an old TO-
mato can. | guess ! must have been
born In that tomato can. Old Mr..
Snifklns was a dear. good old fellow,
for he never bothered with punching
any holes H. the old cans. as the
Board of Health wished him to do,
before he threw the cans into tho
garbage hole. Since have become
a full-hedged mosquito have had
many kindly thought for old MI
Snifkins, because he provides such
delightful breeding places for all my
million children that | have raised
and the millions I expect to come
out next week. | am afraid | shall
have TO hunt up some Of Mr.. Sniff
kins' relatives and see II they are as
careless with their old tin cans as
Mr.. Snlfklns Is: for my family alone
Will soon be too large for all the
old cans he throws out. II he had
only punched some holes In the to-
mato cans before he threw them out
they would not hold water. and then
what would do for place In which
to lay my eggs? II we did not have
hundreds of people like good old Mr..
Snifkins there would certainly be
race suicide in the mosquito family
in dear Hawaii
or my parents | know very little
in fact, ! never knew them-but
have heard that my mother got wind
of a lice filthy back yard in the
next block and had started to take
up her quarters there when strong
breeze threw her up against the side
of a house and killed her. My ia
ther wandered OFF one afternoon and
never returned. also heard that
he was foolish enough to get under
btu h'N W Mait III hlNt lut buDN
to be put to sleep. but the chances
are that the baby's mother discover
ed my father and killed him. oh.
this is wicked world. I wish all
the men were as good and kind to
us mosquitoes as Mr.. Snifkins is.
AS soon as became mosquito
the first thing learned was to hide
away In some dark corner or behind
a picture during the daytime. and
as soon as 1t commenced to get even
ing ! would come out and make an
attack on the first person ] saw. In
the first weeks of my mosquito life
| tackled only babies. because they
would let me bite and suck blood
just as long as wished to. l was
afraid of grown-ups; they slapped so
hard and quick. | grew drawer as
grew older. and take chance at
anybody now, and have become quite
an athlete at lodging slaps. | some
times think us mosquitoes would
make good Woolleyltes, because we
are So expert at lodging the issue.
Family honors come to me thick
and fast. had hardly flown out
of good, kind Mr.. SEifkins' old to-
mato cans before | was married, and
in ten days | was the mother of
400 dear little mosquitoes, and be-
fore was a month old was grand
mother to 240,s63 little mosquitoes.
Some people think that we mos
quitoes have no business on earth.
and make to kill us at every chance.
They even put up money and In
augurate q campaign to exterminate
us. using filthy oil and acids In their
meanness, going from house to house
and inje2ting the acids and oils into
al! OF our favorite breeding places.
Thank the lord. they have not found
good, kind old Mr.. Snlfkins' place
yet
But there are some people who
toes, for We help them wonderfully
in their business. II I had my say
80 ! would demand commission
from every undertaken. doctor, grave
digger and hearse-driver. II IL were
not for us mosquitoes the Gene
teries would not be hall so full In.
directly, we keep most of the crema-
tories hot Why, l know of lots of
cases where had carefully absorb
ed million or so of malaria and
typhoid germs and unloaded them in
homes where there were no screens
to the doors or windows.
There was that little girl, who
was Just considered the pride of her
school, and her old auntie, dear old
lady. whom l used to feast on when
nothing more tender showed up, died
of typhoid, and when the estate was
settled up. the house went to some
people who punched holes in all of
the tomato cans that they threw
out, and put screens on the windows.
That, from healthy mosquitoes