Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-07-22
HORSE SWAPPING
In the Good Old Days II Was
Sport. Not Commercialism.
A MAN TOOK A CHANCE THEN.

antee That the Animal Was Sound,
and If He Got Stuck He 6ided His
Time to Pass Along the Prize.
Il have been reading that David
Harum story" said the ancient livery
man when his cronies were comforta-
bly, seated In his little office. "a friend
tod me that story was the last word
on horse trading. but the man who
wrote 1t didn't understand the spirit
OF the game at all. David Harum
would have been skinned out of his
teeth IL he had blown into any west.
ern town In the palmy days of horse
trading twenty or thirty years ago.
81 tell you. my friends. all the dead
game sports are asleep with their IA
theirs. Nobody is willing TO take
chance nowadays. If man buys
cigar he wants a bill of sale with 1t.
The other day cheap skate pestered
me whole afternoon talking about
buying horse. He tried out all the
nags in the barn and finally decided
that the glass eyed bay would suit
him. And he actually wanted n writ
ten guarantee that the horse was
sound! A written guarantee! No, gen.
tlemen. am not joking. That bald
headed travesty on man actually
asked for such document. | regarded
1t as an insult, and after had rebuked
him they had to pour four buckets of
water over him before he recovered.
I'm the good old days horse trading
was game. not commercial transac-
ton. IL man wasn't willing to take
the chances when he went trading he
was advised to try some other line of
business. Many and many a time
had the harpoon administered to me-
One day Major Charlie Slaughter
drove to my barn
"l have quite a neat package of
horse6esh here said the major. and
| have sort of presentiment that he
can travel a few lines when the wind
Is blowing In the right direction
His horse was a handsome roam. a
regular peacock for style, with his
head away mp In the air so you'd need
stepladder to see If he had star
on his forehead. And the way he hit
the road was a sin. Talk about gated
horses! That roam handled his legs
as though he had taken sparring les
sons Now, my weak point In the
horse business is that when | want
certain nag the worst way can't
nnt I tn -ln or
eat my victuals until that horse is In
my barn with new halter on him.
The major was wise to my weakness.
Its no use, Jake, says the major.
This boss isn't on my swapping list.
Every roam hair on him just suits me.
and I'd be chump to let him GO
well. of course | got the roam all
right. The major was just blutfing.
And gave him the biggest trade you
ever heard of-gave him matched
team and several bills for that gan
Cling roam. And when took the roam
to the water trough for drink found
| that he couldn't lower his head. He
had to carry 1t about ten feet in the air
| lIl tut lliIt, "" lhes W III
his neck. He had to eat his faxed rice
off shelf and drink from garden
hose, and man needed an aeroplane
to put bride on him.
Did | raise fuss with the major?
What sort Of skate do you take me
for? Next time / met him | told him
liked the roam better than any horse
! ever saw He isn't always roofing
in the ground like pig said |, and
| II you had told me about his patent
dirigible neck I'd have given you SIC
more We were sports In those days
"One time the veterinary surgeon
told me about fine trotting horse in a
town some distance away which had
been deprived of its tail by surgical
operation. | went and looked at the
horse. He was perfect beauty and
could trot like an avalanche. But he
had just a stump of. u tail, and the
owner was ashamed to drive him, so
bought the critter for u song. | went
to a lot of trouble having a tail made
for him. 1t was a beautiful. flowing
tail, credit to the hairdresser's art
1t was fixed to slip over the horses
stub tail and was then fastened to the
crupper of the harness. and man
needed good eyes to see that it wasn't
the real thing.
'The major had poor eyes. and when
took him for drive behind that
black trotter he simply had to be tieC
down to the seat he was so excited
He said he'd always wanted a horse
with a tail like that. He had my OWL
weakness. He couldn't pretend indif
ference when he wanted u thing the
worst way. and he wanted that horse
so bad that his hair was falling out
After great deal of deliberation
issued my ultimatum..
"'I'll give you the horse. harness
and buggy just as they stand said |
for your sorrel three-yearo an(
$50 Either of the sorrels was worth {
herd of horses like the black,
"lt's trade cried the major
"Next morning the major came
around to my barn all smiles. Eve
since was child and quit playing
with a rattle says he, i have wanted
horse with detachable tail-a tai
that man could take off and use a:
chin whiskers at a masked ball | jus
called to pay you another 80 cents. 81
that when | meet you after this yo'
can't say took advantage of You II
our trade yesterday
"Oh. there were real sports IN thos'
days. Walt Mason in Chicago News.