davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-16
He Knew the Text.

Robert SALESMAN, prominent citizen
of Erie, Pa, was in town the other day
long enough to relate the strange church
going experience of his son Chester. The
boy had been in the habit of going to
church with his mother, but one Sunday
she was unable to go and he persuaded
her to let him go by himself Well,
when he returned from the seat of Cos
pei dispensation, his mother was anxious
to ascertain how closely he had paid at
tention. She asked him what had been
the text Of the sermon.
Don't worry, you'll get the quilt re-
piled the boy promptly.
The mother failed to see the connec-
ton. Once more she inquired about the
text, and the boy repeated his remark:
Don't worry, you'll get the quilt"
This about convinced the mother her
son was getting bit too fresh for so
small child, and she made up her mind
to punish him. Just then she saw a
friend going home from church, and she
called after her to learn what the text
had been.
Here's what it was: "Have no fear.
The comforter will be with YOU
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-16
EARTH CURRENTS.
Experiments to Show Effects of Electric
Traction Systems.

Interesting experiments have been
made at the Kew observatory, near Lon
don, on the effects of the electric cur
rents produced in the earth by the cleo
trio traction systems of the British
metropolis The delicate magnetic in
struments of the observatory are af-
fected by the currents.
Metallic plates buried in the ground
were connected with Photographic re-
cording apparatus, and the tracings re-
corded by the instrument formed a pic
ture of the time table of the London
Central railway although the nearest
point of approach OF that line is six
niles 1rom New.
Even accidental breakdowns occurring
on the traction line were indicated in
the Photographic record
BY connecting the earth plates with a
sensitive galvanometer, the effect of the
movements of the tramway controllers
was rendered evident, and, telephone
being attached, sounds were heard at
each controlled movement.-Philadel
Record.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-16
A ROYAL Abbess.

The Grand Duchess Sergius in becom-
ing abbess of a convent has followed the
example set by several members of the
Austrian royal family. The Archduchess
Elizabeth, the only child of the Crown
Prince Rudolph was up to the time OF
her marriage abbess of the convent of st:
Theresa at Prague. This post is of quasi
episcopal dignity, for the holder, when
the Emperor of Austria is crowned King
of Bohemia, is deputed to crown the En-
press The archduchess used t. appear
at all state functions in her conventual
garb and carrying a pastoral staff. With
a mitre perched on her curly head the
17-year-old abbess made a picturesque
figure.-London Chronicle.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-16
Now, what's the

tenn of government. Now, what's the
trouble?''
'Aw. shucks, dad, what good does that
do me? In al probabilities the Neither
lands will be a republic before l ever
get in a losition to make use of the
knowledge"
But Sammie went to school just the
same.-New York Sun.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-16
THE SPINNING WHEEL.
Mustache Musings.

Mustache Musings.
You can tell the nationality
Of any man. BY clothes?
Why, no. but simply by the style
OF hair beneath his nose.
The German count is known at once.
BY his mustache? What bliss,
You notice how the thing is trained
II
row like t
In picking out an English lord
You'll never make a miss
Because you know he wears his hair
his lip like
h
u ).
The Frenchman is not picked because
He dresses like a sport,
But by his well-waXed black muStache,
-That'sbushystr aightandshort-
To quickly spot a Russian gent
Is easy quite, l wis;
For he's the man whose coarse mustache
FL G care
lessly ike
tn is.
-Pearson's Weekly.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-16
The Umpire at Home.

"Billy'' Evans sat alone in his home
the other evening meditating on the APP
preaching baseball season which means
his return to the arduous umpiring pur-
suit
He was thinking of number Of ynya-
tious features of his calling, when his
thoughts were interrupted by the ringing
of the telephone bell. Some woman de-
sired to talk to Evans wife, who did not
happen to be at home.
'.She's outr' shouted Evans, absent
mindedly, in such thunderous tone that
he nearly ruined the poor woman's ear
drum.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-16
To a Cigar.

Whene'er we would our cares forget,
We find you tried and true.
We love you very much, and yet
We make butt of you. Judge
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-16
Where Trade Is Brisk.

Wendell Phillips was, on one occasion,
lecturing in Ohio, and, while OH a rail
road journey going to keep one of his
appointments, he met in the car a crowd
of clergy, returning. from some sort ct
convention. One of the ministers felt
called upon to approach Mr.. Phillips,
and asked him: Are you Mr.. Phillips?"
Il am, SIR Are you trying to free the
niggers?' eyes, sir; 1 am an abolition
ist." ''Well, why do you preach your
doctrine up here? Why don't you go
over into Kentucky" Excuse me, sir,
are you preacher Il am, sir Are
you trying to save souls from hell?'
"Yes, sir; that's my business" 'Well,
why don't you go thereY' The assailant
hurried into the smoker amid roar of
unsanctifed ENTHUSIASTICALLY Ma
gazine.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-16
Practical Side of II.

Sammie was late to breakfast. He
had worked late on his lessons the night
before; in fact, had them all neatly pre-
pared and ready for his recitations, but
his attitude plainly told that something
was the matter.
''Father." said Sammie, as he jerked
his chair toward his bowl of rolled oats,
II don't want to go to school today"
''Why. what's the trouble, lad?'
''Well. / just don't want to co.
"Now. look here, Sammie, you have
your lessons all prepared for today.
see you have been studying the his
tory of the Netherlands, the king and the
queen, and, in fact, ali about the sys-
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-16
Singing Like an Angel.

"What is the cause of that prima dom
mas indignation?
''The press agent" replied the impre-
sario. "He said she sang like an angel.
She says that all the angels she ever
knew couldn't sing. They merely wrote
checks. ashington Star.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-16
Lost the Place.

Sally-Please, ma'am, l can't find the
broom.
Mrs. Shipshape-Haven't l told you
often enough to have a place for every
thing and everything in its place?
Sally-Yes, ma'am, [ did that but ]
have lost the place.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-16
Recreation.

Casey-Ye're a har-rd worruker, Doc
ley; how many hods o. morther have yez
carried up that ladder tn day?
Dooley-Whist, man! I'm foolin' TIL
boss. I've carried the same hodful up
an down all day, an he thinks I'm wor-
rukin' cleveland Leader.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-16
Received in Court Circles.

In speech in the Senat on Hawaiian
affairs, Senator Depew of New York
told this story:
When Queen Liliuokalani was in Eng
land during the English Queens jubilee,
she was received at Buckingham palace.
In the course of the remarks that passed
between the two queens, the one from
the Sandwich Islands said that she had
English blood in her veins.
''How SOP" inquired Victoria.
my ancestors ate Captain Cook. =
Everybody's Magazine.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-16
Not Well Grouped.

Muggins-I don't see why wine, wom-
en- and song should always be grouped
together.
Buggins-It seems to me they should.
acknowledgements! Wine improves
with age-Philadelph Record.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-16
The Chancellor's Retort.


Lloyd George is famous, of course, for
his brilliant repartee and biting sarcasm.
81 am here he remarked at a po-
litical meeting, but before he had time
to finish the sentence a noisy interrupter
had chimed in, "and so am II
But the retort was as quick as it was
overwhelming. "Yes-but you are not
all there" London Daily Mail.
A Hard Game.
give just been having tussle with
the dentist"
"Ah! Who came off best?'
''Oh-er-it was a draw!'-Tit-Bits
Fate.
Come seben, come eleben!'' said the
crapshOoter earnestly, rolling the bones.
Sure thing" responded Policeman
I'll, stepping around the corner and col
laring the player, ''but how'd you know
my number Philadelphia Ledger.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-16
Newer Topic.

The daffodil is on the bill
But I am faddish.
The theme is trite; I'd rather write
About the radish.
Philadelphia Bulletin.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-16
HiS MARKS

Sister Ann-Did yer get any marks at
school terday, Bill?
BILIOUS. but they're where they don't
show.-London Sketch.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-16
College Reminders.

Father-What is that red and white
striped pole over in the corner of your
room?
Yale Record.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-16

Advertise in your Home Paper.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-16
Spring Thought of Hobo.

OPIIHS LHUUSHI UI I1UUU.
In the spring the hobo's fancy
Strongly turns to thoughts Of grub;
How to get it without working,
That's the question, there's the rubI
Judge.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-16
Gone. but Not Forgotten.

The pOrtly old gentleman had just I'M
ished a sumptuous repast. Lighting
huge Havana, he arose to go.
Haven't you forgotten something's
began the waiter, in an insinuating man
ner.
''Why, so 1 havew was the reply. Il
declare, my memory becomes more
treacherous every dayr
Lifting the ash tray, he pocketed the
dollar bill lying beneath it, and calmly
strobe out past the crestfallen knight of
the tray.-Judge's Library.
Was Quite Struck with 1t.
Perkins-Did you see Morgan's new
machine?
Jerkins-Not in time-Smart Set.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-16
Advertising Ones Needs.

Flows this?' asked Binks, reading
from the 1O-cents-a-line advertising col
umns of the newspaper:
"a stout German lady wants washing
at home" Judges Library.
"And how old are you, little girl?"
''Six.''
"And how is it you are out walking
without your mammal?
"Oh. mamma doesn't go in for exer-
cise Really, we have very little in COM
mon.' Houston Chronicle.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-16
Well Supplied.

An inveterate wit and punster asked
the captain of craft loaded with
boards how. he managed to get dinner on
the passage.
"Why," replied the skipper, 1--WE al
ways cook aboard"
''Cook a board. do your" rejoined the
wag; "then l see you have been well
provided with provisions this trip, at all
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-16
This One Is on Me.

A man in a mellow condition went
into a barber shop and seated himself in
one of the chairs:
What's your pleasure, sir?" asked
me polite barber.
ooh, er-give me a hair-cut-and have
one yourself. "-Eyerybody's Magazine.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-16

not for the fact that her skipper, Capt.
Barr. is familiar with British winds and
waters.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-16
lust for Luck.

low did he come to get run over,
Bill?"
"'E was picking up a 'orseshoe for
i~ck. Columbia Magazine.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-16
NOTES OF INTEREST.

Calvin Taft of Upton, Mass. who up
to three months ago had a home with
Mrs. Jennie Fields and the latter's three
cats. is now puzzled TO know where he
is going to spend the remaining years of
his life. Mrs. Fields died in February
and the will pi lvided that so long as
her three cats lived M. Taft was to
live in the Field homestead and care for
the cats, but upon the death of the cats
the entire property was to go to Mrs.
Nettie Hobrook, a relative of Mrs.
Fields. During the meantime. Mrs. Hol-
brook was to see that Mr.. Taft. who
is 60 years of age and not in very good
health. was to have good care. Two of
the cats were found dead recently, and
the third disappeared. Mrs. Holbrook.
because of the death of the cats. has
advertised the Fields homestead for
sale. but Mr.. Taft still remains at the
house and declares he will stay until
forced out by law, as he believes the
cats didn't die natural death.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-16

The news from London that Sir James
Pender's big racing yawl Brynhild lost
her mast and was sunk by the wreckage
while racing off Felixtown will cause re
greet among American yachtsmen, be-
cause the Brynhild was promising rep
resentative of the fast British yachts
which are to meet the new American
schooner Westward, now in British
waters preening her wings for trial
flights. The Brynhild won. the Kings
cup in the Royal Yacht Squadron re-
gatta of 1908. The loss of the Brynhild
while racing, through the breaking of
her mast, shows what risks have been
taken in the contests for the Americas
cup during recent years, with heavily
-over-sparred sloops. Happily, there was
no loss of life because rescuers were
close at hand Now that the Brynhild
is gone, the honors of British yachting
will have to be sustained by Sir Thomas
Lipton's latest Shamrock and the fast
cutter White Heather, both of which
were being led over the course by the
Brynhild when she met her fate. But
these yachts are very fast, and the West
ward will have tasks cut out for her
that would be difficult indeed were it
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1910-12-31
BIBLICAL TROUBLES.
Knotty Language Problems Trsnslators
Have to Solve.

Some OF the riddles that have to DO
solved before the Bible can be trans.
lated Into remote and barbaric tongues
are cited in that annual wonder book.
the popular illustrated report Of the
British and Foreign Bible society.
How. for example. can you find
name for lamb" among the inhabit-
ants OF some island where the only
quadrupeds nre pigs and ratsf How
can you render whittier than snow in
the dialects OF West Africa. where
snow Is utterly unknown?
Occasionally the difficulty is one OF
sheer space. Lengua. the speech OF
an Indian tribe in Paraguay. which
has been furnished with the gospel
according TO St. Mark. is so unwieldy
that the word eighteen can only be rep
resented thus: "Sohogemek wakthla-
mok eminik antanthama. Literally
translated. that means finished my
hands. pass TO my other foot-three."
for fingers and toes serve as units.
The word for butter in Lengua is
"waitky anamankukingnlnk ikpith-
muk." which means literally the
grease Of the Juice OF the udder of the
COW"
In New Guinea the translator want
ed the proper ldiom for far be IL
from me TO do this thing" so he con-
suited an intelligent catechumen.
"Yes," replied the catechumen. Il un-
dcrstand exactly We have the pre-
else idiom. We say. May speak TO
my mother in-Iaw before | will do this
thing" for in that land OF strange
taboos one OF the objectionable sins Il
for a man to open his lips TO his wife's
mother-St. Louis Globe Democrat
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1910-12-31
EMORY sUDLER
FRANK HELLERIcK
HOW TO OBTAIN THE
HIGHEST PRICES FOR
YOUR POULTRY

Get your poultry fat, and dress II MS
per our instruction card which we viii
forward upon application. Follow our
instructions closely, and ship your dress
ed poultry to US. We positively can
place it for you at the highest market
price.
We will be pleased TO send you our
Christmas and New Years circular II
you will give us your name. Every in
dication Of very high prices for Christ
mas and New Years market.
We are particularly anxious Tor heavy
shipments Of dressed poultry from
MARYLAND and Virginia.
If you have live poultry to ship. let 1t
come now, but advise holding poultry
which YOU intend to dress, for Christ
mas and New Years holiday.
We earnestly solicit your shipments
and correspondence. We handle dress
ed and live poultry strictly on commits
sion basis, and do not purchase any,
but give every shipper fair and square
deal on commission.
We hope you may favor us with your
business. as we are sure II would De 10
your interest to do so.
FRANK HELLERICK & CO.,
35i North Front ST..
Philadelphia, Pa.
p. S.-We are strictly up-to-da pro-
duce commission house. IA u
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1910-12-31

Four hundred years ago eating was
practically confined 10 two meals
day. but In many parts the second or
evening meal was OF such protracied
character that laws were passed linn
iting Its duration. Thus nj Berne there
was law against sitting at table more
than Eve hours. At Rale. from 10
O'Clock In the morning 10 q o'clock in
the evening was the maximum permit
ted, but the town council was unable
TO practice its own counsels of pcrfee-
ton and on great occasions finished IN
private. In Saxony the innkeeper was
forbidden 60 serve more than four
dishes ut one meal.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1910-12-31
A Helping Hand
Is Gladly Extended by a Snow Hill
Citizen.

There are many enthusiastic citizens
in Snow Hill prepared to tell their ex-
perience for the public good. Testimo-
ny from such source is the best of
evidence. and will prove a ''helping
hand" to scores of readers. Read the
following statement:
A. +. Hartman, mail carrier, Market
St., Snow Hill. Md, says: -Four or five
years ago my kidneys became disordered.
due no doubt to exposure to all kinds of
weather and riding over rough, country
roads. II contracted a coldit invaria-
bly, settled on my kidneys and caused me
added pain and discomfort. The com
plant gradually grew worse and be-
gan to suffer from intense, darting pains
across the small of my back. The kid
ney secretions became irregular In pas
sage and caused me annoyance. | was
finally advised to try Deans Kidney
Pills and procured box at Cottingham
& Co. S Drug Store. used this reme-
dy as directed and received almost i'm
mediate relief. | have been enthusiastic
about Doan's Kidney Pills ever since.
When feel slight backache. caused
by a cold. take a few doses Of this
remedy and never fail to find prompt
relief
For sale by all dealers. Price so cents,
Foster Milburn CO., Buffalo, New York,
sole agents for United States.
Remember the name-Doan's, and
take no other
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1910-12-31
BANK CHECKS.
The Part They Play In the Payment Of
Debt.


A young man had kept In his pos.
session for several days a check from
his uncle. His uncle died. and he
FASTENED TO the bank to cash the
check. When he found the bank would
not pay the check until It had orders
was surprised and observed to his ia
Their that he thought OF a check as be-
ing SO much money II the signature
was good.
AS matter OF fact. however. n
check Is merely an order from \. to
b.. who holds some OF AS money. TO
pay certain amount thereof 20 @.
Ii Is not money. even II the names on
the check are good aud well known
and the bank Is solid as the govern
ment Although checks are given in
payment OF debt and IA receipt usually
IS signed on the spot. yet the passing
OF check does not constitute pay.
ment of Indebtedness until It Is paid
by the bank.
Nor will the concurrent receipting OF
lut utUl lpE which ~ 10 NiHNH Nuah-N
this. II the check Is not paid on pres
entation TO the bank the original claim
stands against the drawer or giver OF
the check. But certified check con-
stitutes payment ON the part Of the
person who draws II.
Checks may be antedated or post
dated--that is. dated before or after
the date OF delivery. II postdated
checks are paid before the day speci-
fed the drawer can recover the mon
ey. for the bank has acted not in ac-
cordance with any order from him.
but on its own responsibility.
II blank is left for the date the
holder is authorized 10 insert the true
date OF delivery. but no other date.
The insertion OF any other date or
changing the date without the consent
Of the drawer makes the check void
New York Herald.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1910-12-31
WHAT GLASSES WILL DO.

II your work or reading tire the
eyes, glasses will rest them.
If you are subject to herdaches. the
chances are that it is caused by Eye
Strain. Special glasses will relieve
them.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1910-12-31
The Cause of Many
Sudden Deaths.

e $780, ~ AAANA VIA AT
tack the vital organs. causing catarrh OF
the bladder. hfick-dust or sediment in
tie urine, head ache. back ache, lame
back, dizziness, slgCflessrcss, nervous
ness, or TIE kidneys themselves break
down and waste away cell by cell
Bladder troubles almost always result
from arrangement OF the Kidneys and
better health in that organ is obtained
quickest hy proper treatment OF the kid.
news Swamp Root corrects inability to
hold urine and scalding raiuin passing it.
and ovcrconcs that unpleasant necessity
Of being compelled 10 70 often through
the day, and to get up many times during
the night. The mild and immediate effect
OF Swamp-Root, the great kidney remedy
is soon realized. Il stands the highest be.
cause of its remarkable health restoring
properties. a trial will convince anyone.
Swamp-Root is pleasant to take and is
sold BY all druggists in fifty-cent and
onc-dollar size bottles. You may have a
sample bottle and book that tells all
about it, both sent free by mail. Address,
DR.. Kilmer & Co., Binghamton, ". y.
When writing mention reading this gen.
erous offer in this paper. Don't make
any mistake, but remember the name,
Swannp-Root, ard don't let dealer sell
YOU something in place Of Swamp Root
ii you do you viii be disappointed.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1910-12-31
Unsuitable Deception.

The talk had gone back. and fro
and the youthful Socialist had been
announcing that no man ought 10 get
his living by cheating. and we all lis
tened 20 him and agreed that II was
dreadful when men and women did
not tell the truth. but tried 10 make
their living by deceiving people. Mil
llonaires. landowners. financiers. we
scnrlfied all OF them who cheat the
public.
mo one should make living by de-
ception." said the young man.
Then n quiet voice from u woman
came from the corner OF the sofa.
"What about the conJurerr
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1910-12-31
A REASON WHY.

II you were i'll you would call in the
best Physician; if you had law
suit, the best Lawyer. II your eyes
are bad why not take equal precau-
ton to select reliable Optician and
Optometrist?
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1910-12-31
Welcome JOY.

IF you amt got manners ter tell JOY
good mawnin' when you meets him.
how does you expect him ter call roun'
by de place you live at; You better
be mighty kecrful. fer whilst he 10
allus IN "A good humor he sho' do ex-
pect you ter meet him half way.-At
lanta Constitution.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1910-12-31
Pain in
Heart

For two years had pain in
my heart, back and left side.
Could not draw a deep breath
or lie on left side, and any little
exertion would cause palpita-
ton. Under advice / took
DR.. Miles Heart Remedy and
Nervine. | took about thirteen
bottles, am in better health than
l ever was, and have gained ID
pounds"
MRS. LILLE THOMAS,
Upper Sandusky, Ohio.
For many years DR.. Miles
Heart Remedy has been very
successful in the treatment of
heart troubles, because OF its
tonic effect upon the heart
nerves and muscles. Even in
severe cases OF long standing it
has frequently prolonged life for
many years after doctors had
given up all hope, as proven by
thousands OF letters we have re-
ccived from grateful people.
Or. Miles Heart Remedy Is sold by all
druggists. II the first bottle fails to
benefit your druggist will return your
money.
MILES MEDICAL CO.. Elkhart. Ind.