Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1910-01-07
I VELVET 2u RAGS )
INDIVIDUAL oPlNON) J
{ BY LlE +. VERNON }
L~~~~~~~\>N

Seems almost shameful the way
night elbows the day from of the
earth
The next best thing to having a
dollar is to know where YOU can Dor
row one.
Mr.. Wa Ting Fang is reported as
being opposed to football. Most old
men are.
If there is any man in the world
who ought to be- helped. it is the man
who is honestly looking for work.
Wonders never cease Dismal
Swamp is on fire; and Chicago
man has drowned himself because
his boarding place closed up.
Remember that dollars spent out
of town don't come back. Also bear
in mind that merchants who have
bargains to offer always advertise
the fact.
| After all it must be conSOling to
believe in reincarnation. Just think
of returning to Earth in shape of
Il savage bulldog wouldn t You bite
numerous folks you know?
1t will no doubt delight the heart
of the man who wrote that there was
No fool. like the Old fool to learn
that 4 man 81 years of age, and
woman 81 years of age. eloped lately.
1t is u tine thing that there is
society 10 prevent children from
cruelty, but it would be a still finer
plan to have some way to prevent
some irresponsible people from being
married.
When you know an item of news
tell it to the STANDARD. Every lit
tie bit added makes more inter
esting reading and better paper
Send the items in and your services
will be appreciated.
Hazel, said the visiting relative.
You ought not to try to sing when
you are shaking with the cold. -
am not cold, auntie," replied
the church choir soprano. am
| practicing on my tremolo.
Startish; What makes. you think
this hotel isn't as good a place as
you thought ?"
klam THE waiter hasn't kept
us waiting for more than twenty
minutes.
Santa Cruz, (Cal) has an evening
paper called the NHrt. Underneath
its name plate, on the editorial page,
it prints: "Will dash against your
doorstep at high tide every even
ing At low tide. | suppose, you
can walk to the office for it,
Starfsh; What do you regard
as the chief end of man p
Klam 1t depends on what
you want the man for. If you want
him to do brain work its his head,
but if You want him to run crrands
its his feet.
by u noteworthy coincidence the
birthdays of President Diaz and
President Taft both fall on the 18th
day of September The President of
Mexico was born in 1890, which is
also the natal year of the Emperor
of Austria. while President Taft was
born in 1857.
| There are heroes and other heroes,
and | am glad to see the young men
winning Carnegie medals, but no
act of bravery has ever eXcelled that
performed by the men who go into
| a
rades who may bc imprisoned there
| by some terrible accident
Mr.. Thirstman: "Tm going over
to the corner saloon to get Scotch
whisky
Mrs. Thirstman " What ? With
out your collar and necktic 2
Mr.. Thirstman: Certainly. No
| decent man ever goes in there any
way, and shan I be seen.
When YOU hear woman ask the
clerk for Il small bottle, do not imag-
inc it 25-cent whisky tlask-it
might be one of those ThermOS
and ever-ready bottles, which keep
liquids cold or hot for days. Never
lump at conclusions, as the dog did
at the COW 5 tail, and got kicked for
his pains.
A few of the former hired hands of
the sugar. trust are being tried for
completely in the weight frauds in
the New York custom-bousc. OF
course it would be violative of all
precedents to prosecute the officials
| who. instructed the defendants to
commit the thefts and then pOcketed
the booty.
| A woman orator lold 4 Chicago
audience that she did not consider it
a wife $ duty to sew on buttons for
her husband. She said men should
attend to their own clothes. Men
will agree to sew on their own but
tons if women will agree to button
up their own dresses in the back. Is
it bargain?
Nature never slumbers, or releases
any Of her slaves, and he who has
once drank of the strong wine brcwed
by Nature. will drink thereof until
death, and although she meet with
iamentable and irreplrable losses,
and her bosom become deeply Scared,
he will still battle for her, and can
not be wrenched from her side the
logger.
1t is the belief of the WaShoe In
tfiaus of Ncvatfa and III ancient Gus
tom which they celebrate, that when
the pine nuts are not growing and
ripening fast enough they must
bring a burr-laden tree from the
mountains and place it in water,
then dance around it. This. they
believe. will influence the God of
the pine nuts and assure Il plentiful
crop.
| Don't laugh at the " tattered and
Il nnfnhn1