The Cairo bulletin., 1910-03-09

PuNilcdtlous, maps or olHeE EuOdS VI
which portions are given members OF
congress, the several members are
efetited With: quotas and the
lsssy eanieRpt eiihsnishes albright and
claim to them. They become the alb
solute property of the member, and he
may use them fer any purpose he
elects, The government takes no cog
| nizance OF geography, climate or loca
ton in Issuing the goods TO members
All. get the same number of anything
that is issued.
The Kansas member who hasn't
enough water in his district to swim
tadpole gets as many surveys, projec
tons. maps etc. of the photographic
kor geodetic bureaus as the member
from New England with two to five
hundred miles of coast, while the
member from the Harlem districts In
New York city gets as many vegetable
seeds to distribute to the tenement
and Nat jewellers as though his dis
trict lay in Kansas or Missouri.
1t follows that the member who has
geodetic surveys and needs seeds IL
anxious 10 meet the member who has
seeds and needs geodetic surveys |.
| would be undignitied, of course. for
members of congress to take part in
| such trading That is where the mem
| bers secretaries get busy. 1t IL q
| common occurrence for a young man
| n ctn nj tho of II
| some member and shout;
| "Whatn y give FIR eight ags?"
Now "ags' is short for the annual
report of the department of agricul
ture. Flippant secretaries attached t.
members from little, old N'Yawk
also call them hicks" 'yaps and
other names of bucolic tinge but the
offiee-buildIng patois is ags.'
Give you ge-od," replies the sec
rotary addressed.
Not for mine, replies the NYawk
err He says it just like that so that
no one win suspect he came from
New Jersey why, there are yahoos
out in Kansas and Missouri thatd
| climb five barb wire fences to GO,
| one of those" As a matter of fact
! 1t is probable that the Missouri or
| Kansas members constituents have
| been clamoring for the book But the
| western secretary also knows that
some influential firm who needs a ge
odetic survey has written the N'Yawk
/ err prodding him about his failure to
keep his promise to send ON a geo
detic survey.
| Haven't much call for the 'ags }"
| replies the rural secretary in a tone as
casual and uninterested as possible
Fact is, We have big stock on
hand
The N'Yawker knows that isn't true
| Nobody in congress has too many Of
anything that constituents may get
for the asking
'Tll tell you what I'll do" says the
westerner. we get 900 'ags and only
As goods I'm trade you one ge-od'
for 20 'ags'
mot for mine, replies the N'Yawk.
er, Lets trade on the cash basis.
Ags are worth eight cents and ge.
DDS 40 cents each. III give you one
ag for FIVE goods /,
Each needs what the other has, so
a trade finally. is arranged on some
basis An odd thing about the trading
Is that what the New York secretary
said about the money value Of various
federal commodities Is true. Every
publication has a cash basis and may
be sold to some member of congress
through his secretary, of course, for
cash.
So trading on the four floors OF
the two congressiVal office buildings
is carried ON on a par" basis, which
the actual value of the commodity is
taken as basis of value or in fur
ries' at any price which the shorts
are forced to pay to cover their ''de
liveries." When the member" or
ders his secretary to get some com
modify, he gets 1t, whether he has to
secrifice several times the value OF
not, for 1t means that the boss" In
some assembly district or the road
overseer in some county has put in al
insistent demand for the immediate
forwarding Of something which the
government has issued.
The jargon Of Wall street Is not ab
sent. In the hurried trading which fol
lows each of this four daily deliverie-
of mail in the two buildings. the pei
son unused to the tongue might wei
81 wonder at the uses TO which Eng.is
may be put. In this trading yegetabl
seed becomes "veges,'' flower see
flower" maps of the United Stat,
| ~ Ses. geological professional pt
pers "profs. books CO diseases an
,ures Of animals horses or "cattles,
While there are scores of other al
| revelations which sound as Greek
| lie unnit!ated