davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23
Love win Find a Way.

The Spinsters and Bachelors Club Of
New Jersey. with headquarters in Tren-
ton, is an organization worthy of atten-
ton. All eligible young men aad women
of the State are invited TO become mem
bers. The object of the club is "the dis
eouraging Of matrimony" The idea of
the promoters Of this unique enterprise is
that the members shall meet at regular
intervals. discuss the disadvantages of
the ancient and honorable estate of mat
rimony, the high cost of living, the
mother-in-law and poor kin perils, the
the general depravity of landlords, the
shortcomings OF servant girls. and so on.
All members are TO pledge themselves.
under penalty OF SOS hne-payable to local
charitable associations-not to marry
within two years Of the date of their af-
iliation, Refreshments are to be served,
by the spinsters, at all meetings.
This is a beautiful scheme-aH the more
beautiful, indeed. because it is sure not
to work. That is to say. it will not tend
to discourage mauimony, which is the
s. & B. Clubs announced object EN-
phasize the disadvantages and probable
difficulties of matrimony. and the larger
its advantages loom on the horizon of
youthful hopes and aspirations, and the
more attractive matrimony becomes. The
exact and precise philosophy of this may
be elusive and impossible of analysis,
but it controls. nevertheless. The paItry
fine Of S25-that would merely be con-
sidered joyous largess to good fortune.
rendered with happy hand and abundant
willingness.
The only way to discourage matrimony-
and that is by no means a sure way-is
to encourage it. Parents obviously anx-
Gus 10 marry off their sons and daughters
invariably encounter much baking and
hesitating on the one hand and palpable
evasion on the other. Per contra, parents
who set their faces most sternly against
the matrimonial suggestion and warn the
loudest and most awesomely OF wicked
little Cupid and his dangerous little ways
well wedding bells ring for theirs long
before they reach the climax OF their
doleful little lay:
Love moves in a most mysterious way
his wonders Cbiunders?) to perform. The
Spinsters and Bachelors Club OF New
Jersey viii fail in the contamination OF
its announced intent That, however Is
not saying the organization may not &C
complish great good in this world. after
all.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23
Some Poets Are Made.

There IS now raging IN the fair valley
Of the James River a controversy which
VIII shake Virginian poets to the soles
Of their feet The editor OF the Roanoke
Times declares he knows real poetry
from the spurious. while the newly ac-
CURED editor Of the Richmond Times
Dispatch is just as positive that Editor
Williams is entirely and everlastinglv
mistaken.
The doughty warrior at Richmond pre-
sents some verses from Henry Clay
Hodges to prove his contention. He
prints the stanzas with some interIinear
opinions Of his own, and then defantly
asks Editor Williams to express an opin-
ion as to their merits. The lines start
of as follows:
TITS many years ago, George
Since I went to visit you,
And we thought we'd have some fun
By playing upon the nov"
Col Hemphil declares that while these
lack symmetry in their feet, the poetic
principle is well sustained. The next two
stanzas show some undeveloped power:
Wills frolickins upon the hay George,
broke the cradle finger:
Then thought I'd start for hozns.
Fearing to longer hnger.
Il started up the lane, Geo-ga
AS fast / could run,
For the broken cradle finger
Had ruined all oar fun
The dramatist is shown here. He in
PRODUCES the tragedy which will later
afford the climax. How subtly the theme
is carried along:
AS I reached the head Of the lane. George,
heard yOu call foT my return.
Saying the broken cradle finger
Had caused not single harm
''But nothing you could sag. Gexge.
Would aliay my nervous fears;
felt If / went back
might loss both NY ean.
Weeks after this George.
I was pleasantly toll
Had I remained longer.
Friend Pearl Wolld not haYs Scold
80 let US be cheerful George,
The few years we have TO stay,
Happy in the thought that we'll
Mess a brighter day
After thus rousing the imagination and
thrilling the readers with the fire of the
bard. Col Hemphin is cruel enough to
say that the lines were not written in
Virginia at all. but in Indiana We hope
the Hoosier State will not attempt thus
to snatch the honors from the old Do
minion. The Sweet Singer of Michigan
never did anything more delicate than
this; and besides. Indiana has glory
enough. We await Editor Williams
opinion
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23
NEWSPAPER AND MENU.
Both Contain Dishes Calculated TO
Suit Any Taste.

Suit Any Taste.
From The st, Louis Republic.
The meal is prepared for one person;
the meau for many persons. Now the
newspaper Is not a meal: it is a menu.
It is not edited for one person, but for
many persons.
Not for "the mass" OF "the masses; .
that is a corroding superstition. There
Is no mass TO read a newspaper-only
individuals. But into the newspaper there
is put wide variety OF things, because
there is a wide variety Of persons In the
world this year.
The man who wants only a bunch of
grapes and little tea and toast for
breakfast cannot understand the indivld-
ual next him who is Of a huskiness. who
demands buckwheat cakes, sausages. and
pie; yet the hotel must take In both. So
must the newspaper.
The art OF newspaper reading may be
divided into two parts-eliminatio and
assimilation. No one individual not con-
cerned in the making OF newspapers has
any business with the whole paper The
reader should select what concerns him
in the days news and pass by the rest
on the other side
Failure to do that leads TO the read
ing of much more than can be read care
fully. Result misty Impressions and
vague, purposeIess thinking. The real
news Of the day for any one human be-
ing is contained II not more than a dozen
Stories" choose the dozen that con-
Germ you. ana concentrate on them. Don't
try TO cover everything in the paper-not
even everything on politics or sport
There are twenty different oyster dishes
on a good menu. but TO get enough nitro
gen to keep him from starvation a man
would have TO each fourteen dozen a day.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23
THE VISION BEAUTIFUL.

II I could sea as child eyes see.
The world would look 50 sweet to msi
If l could 50 as child feet 20,
The paths Of life with rose would glow
II I could hear as child ears hear.
The sunbeam song would dry my tearl
II l could best as child heart beats
Ny soul you'd faint 10 taste such sweetsl
If could SEQ as child eyes see.
Each roadway would be gold to me,
With pageants Il the fairy dawn,
With omuz and with sapphire chi
And every rise would be hill.
And every ditch would be a iii,
And every hut Of mud and sand
A palace hall IN wonderland
II could hear as child ears hear,
The stars would sing 70 me, my dear
And IN the night % me would come
The silver trumpets and the drum
OF little people Of the dream
That all in purple pageants CLEAN,
As IN the moonlight Of the room
They Johnny -jumpup into blooml
II I could beat as child heart beats.
On stairway, In tho hall, the streets,
0 darling soon ia dance away
Unto the rainbOW's end ct play:
And would make believe TO hold
The charm Of keep-froEn- groWing-Old.
And 50. my love, know that I
Would neFer. neEor want 70 diei
-Baltimoss Sun
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23
wouId Make a Hit.

From the Chicago Post
Il want a title for hook Of letters I
am getting out" says the publisher. ut
is the secret correspondence OF members
of various Scottish clans. I need a title
that viii be short. but will suggest i'm
mediately the nature OF the contents OF
the bocl-"
''Easr enough" answers the man who
has been taken to lunch. " Call II Clan
destine Correspondence
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23
ART AND ACTUALITY,

The catalogues Of garden seod
Are coming thick and coming fast;
AGAIN my dreams Of pressing needs
Tome as they did in years now past
Yet through my brain this thoaght win vhirI
The while each catalogue I scan:
l never saw a Christy girl.
never saw a Gibson man.
Green corn that bulges through the busk.
String beans that are both fat and fine.
And watermelons that at dusk
Team 70 be plucked from Of the vine
Yet ! sit grimly as a churl
And cogitats thus on the plan.
l never saw a christy girl,
never saw Gibson man
Tomatoes that are huge and red,
Brave turnips that must weigh a pound
Asparagus which makes its bed
IN any kind Of sandy ground
Yet ! sit grimly as a chuTl
This sort Of meditative ban;
never saw 3 Christy girl.
never saw Gibson man.
turn the booklets page BY page
And feast my eyes on what ] see
from satisfy % spicy sage,
From chives TO charming ehickory-
Yet not each oyster holds q pearl
AMI I'm no more a garden FAM
l never saw Christy girl.
never saw e Gibson man.
I'm fond Of pctures-and III say
The catalogues sff1ri treat
Like other models. IN their way.
Those LOOK quite good CROUCH 10 eat
But stu my lips in deubting curl,
And thus / muse and calmly scan:
never saw a Cbristy girl.
I neTE saw 4 Gibson nan
~ChicaQo Posi-
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23
TO-DAY IN HISTORY.
Give Me Liberty or Give Me Dealt" March %.

I remembered that the entire grafton has
not been preserved-where he said:
rs life so dear or peace so sweet as to
be purchased at the price OF chains and
slavery? Forbid it. Almighty GodI I
know not what course others may take.
but as for me. give me liberty or give me
DEATH"
The writer goes on to say: when he
spoke the word liberty his hands were
open and his arms elevated and extended.
his countenance radiant; he stood erect
and defiant. while the sound of his voice
and the sublimity Of his attitude made
him appear magnificent incarnation of
freedom.
"As he closed the grand appeal with
the solemn words, or give me death ,
which sounded with the awful cadence
OF hero's dirge. fearless of death and
victorious in death, he suited the action
TO the word by a blow upon the left
breast with the right hand which seemed
to drive the dagger to the PATRIOTS
heart"
The whole sssemblage was carried
away by the force of his eloouence The
SITUATION was so tense that when ne sat
down there was not the faintest murmur
OF applause. Henry's speech had deter
mined the character OF the, proceedings
Of the convention. Il had siIenced onno-
sition, and had made the tinid eoura-
geons. A committee was at once appoint
ed to report a plan for the organization
OF the militia. This plan was adopted.
and shortly after the convention closed
its session and Patrick Henry retired 10
his home with the laureis OF fame on his
brow.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

officers OF the navy are not accomplishing
all that may be legitimately expected OF
the observatory. If this step is taken.
there is no reason why the title of the IN
stitution should not be changed to ma
tional observatory inasmreh as the
work win be only incidentally of a naval
character
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23
win Remain Unchanged.

From the Nashville American
They may take Uncle Joe's peacock feather and
yellow jacket and jauuty air. thsy may run the
wiIapus-wallopus over him, they may resolve that
he is the servant and not the boss Of the HOSE.
and that they are the House, but they will never
succeed in eliminating the birthstone favor from his
unique Sunday school vocabulary
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23
State Secrets

From London Opinion.
Hairdresser-What shade will madame
have re hair dyed zis time?
She Tin whisper)-Keep It dark"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23
A LITTLE NONSENSE.

HAS ITS GOOD POINTS.
In boiler-shop grand operay
No strident bore
Can very well describe the play
Or hum the score.
For every time he makes a try,
Or would begin,
His voice is promptly smothered by
The awful din.
whereat he is compelled TO stop;
And so I say
I'm rather fond OF boiler-shop
Grand operay.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

''The insurgents were inconsistent when
they failed TO Gust Cannon" says the
Raleigh News and Observer. All,
Josephusl A Republican is a Republican,
In the first place, you know. albeit he
may be an ''insurgent' in the second
place
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23
In the Dime Museum.

you would marry the two-headed
girl said the tattooed man. What are
you kicking about now?"
II didn't think of two Easter hats to
purchase. responded the living skeleton
with a sigh.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

A New York bank conducted in one de-
partment exclusively for women an
nounees that savings accounts may be
opened with a deposit as low as $780, II
that does not get them, nothing will.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23
Very Unusual.

Hes 8 queer chap. Rich now. but
often talks about the days when he was
poor"
And says he was happier then. chr
mo; there's where his oddly comes
in. He says he's happier now"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23
For one Admission.

II hope the season won't open with a
stretch Of rain. That viii mean a lot OF
postponed games"
mo matter Postponed games mean
doubls-headers later"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23
Perhaps, who Can TeIIF

From the Kansas City Star
What the House is doing to Speaker Cannon
IS Just reminder Of what the Senate one Of these
fine days. is going 10 do to AIdrich.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

The Duke OF Orleans has again an
nounced his enthusiastic support of him
self as a candidate for King of Franco.
He IS apt TO be decidedly lonesome in
that attitude, however.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

nah News. Or. Cook should cheer up!
They talked about Columbus In his time
even worse than they talk about the lit
tie Brooklyn doctor now.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23
Honor Among Thieves

From Bon Vivant.
Magistrate-How was It possible for you
to commit this theft in broad daylight IN
a street full of people.
Thlef-Im sorry. sir, but may not be-
tray professional secrets.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23
The First Indication.

From the Chicago Record Herald.
The Democrats recently elected their entire ticket
at Waterloo. n. Y We shall form no conclusion.
however, until we hear from Napoleon and yelling
ton, Ohio
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

A Chicago woman is suing both of her
husbands for divorce at the same time.
Forced TO bunch her legal expenses that
way. perhaps. on account OF the high cost
OF living.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

Mr.. f. Hopl1inson Smith has ceased
talking about New York being "the most
insolent city in the world" Evidently,
he could not get anybody 10 argue the
point with him
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

Copenhagen announces that IT does not
care TO sec Peary's proofs. Peary does
not care for Copenhagen to see them.
either. SO that may be considered a closed
incident, we should say.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

Political rows are all very well in their
way, but. after al, for real. healthful
excitement, baseball still has all other
varieties beaten several good long miles
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

And the African germs must be more
or less discouraged over their utter fail
ure 10 make an impression upon the
mighty hunter. moreover.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23
Both spIny.

$50 you are vegetarian now?"
yep"
Don't you miss the hesh-pots?"
Not at ali. Every flesh food has its
vegetable counterpart. Cactus. for in
stance. Is an excellent substitute for
spring shsd'
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

The colonel Is credited with a desire 70
kiss the barney stone We doubt, never
theless. that this viii convince Mr.. Bel
lany Storer that the colonel is about to
reform.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

Joke Cannon" says the PHILADELPHIA
North American. Well. jokes have a
habit Of living long.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

"Col. Roosevelt has eliminated bully
from his vocabulary says the Atlanta
Constitution We shall believe It when
we are assured that breath has been
eliminated from bis body.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

Spring IS here! My lady fair haunts
the Shops from morn to night, buying
dainty things to wear. For dress she's
such an appetite!
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

Dr.. Cook is coming back Let Us per-
sist in the hope, however, that this does
not mean the resurrection OF H. Yelling
ton Wack.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

mr.. Jack Johnson had his teeth filed
one day last week" notes the New York
Herald. Hope Prof. Johnson does not in
tend 10 bite Prof. Jeffries!
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

Some few Senators. perhaps, will be
pleased If that forthcoming bust of Mr.
Roosevelt is not altogether a speaking
likeness.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

Among the "Salome" dancers in stage
land nowadays the idea seems 10 be to
strip the light fantastic toe. and so on.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23
when AIdrIeh Tale. snun.

Prom the Savannah News
It has bern said that when Aldrch takes snuff
tbs Senate sneezeS That is only figure Of speech,
Of COURSE EUinE 10 ilBTzts how ths Senator from
Rhode Island dominates "the most august delibera.
tive body in the world"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

European sovereigns in doubt about
how to run their governments should not
neglect the opportunity that will soon be
knocking at their doors
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

As our old friend Joe Miller would
inquire at this stage of the game, When
is a car not car?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

Count Boni do Casteliane IS FOR sale
again. Boni is slightly shopworn, OF
course, but his title is as good as new.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23
We are Pulling for Him.

From the Buffalo News
Seriously. nov. those of you who pray. can with
very good graes pray for Senator Daniel, Of the
Old Dominion. This country has a lot Of fine men.
but nGne too many like The Lame Lion OF Viz
ginia." and We can't afford TO lose one
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

Torrance probably hang any new medals
on the Champ Clark Presidential BOOM
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23
An Quiet.

Hilarious leaps from bough to bough
The sportive bongo.
And everything IS peaceful now
Along the Congo.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

On account OF the egg trust. candy eggs
are cheaper for Easter purposes than the
real things Thanks to the sugar trust,
OF course.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

Mr.. Andrew Carnegie is considering the
idea OF starting newspaper. It prob
ably is more fun than buying libraries.
anyway.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23
Making Him usefnI.

ASK your Congressman for any free
seeds?"
Nav; but I've written him TO find me
two or three good summer boarders."
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

Mrs Russell Sage has given $4,000
toward the erection Of a monument to
Christopher Columbus" says the savan-
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

The greatest wonder OF the entire pro-
ceeding was, OF course. that the House
Democracy stuck together for three whole
days.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

But the most famous hero of punctua-
ton, as the New York Mail ought TO
know is 'rTomeward. the plowman."
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23
The Reason,

why are you sore on that eminent
magnate? He has done some good things"
81 was one of them"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

From the BsItimora American
The House Of Representatives VII now rnaks Il,
0sn rules. but VIII It sveT learn 10 obey thenf
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

March p is the anniversary Of the IA
nous battle Of Novara, in Northern
italy in 1919 Il is the birthday of John
Bartram. the noted botanlst $3.50; of
William Smith. father Of English geology
016s); Of Schuyler colfax. Vice President
under Grant QS2S); of Don Carlos Buell.,
civil war soldier Os1S); of George Cromp-
ton, inventor OF the famous Crompton
loom. which revolutionized the cotton in
dustry, and the date on which Carl Ma
ma Won Weber, the composer. died. In
1s2a
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23
Hovv Dc It Hnnnenf

From the New York Tribune
And the greatest marvel Of an is that Chamr
Clark's hand held together for two whole davs
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

From the Atlanta Journal.
Col. Roosevelt IS tired Of this maks-beljev,
fighting wild game IN Africa ard yearns for the
real sport in Washington.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23
CHAT OF THE FORUM
Getting His Renr,nn

From the Baltimore sun
Just at present Mr.. Taft is busy adjusting his
political compass.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-23

will uphold my contention. as the whole
State delegation will be Republican this
time-no insurgents, either: all regu-
lars
Discussing about the gubernatorial cleo
ton, Mr. Hamon. who has twice been
national committeeman. said that the
Democrats of Oklahoma would IN all
likelihood place 'BiH" Murray. Of Mingo-,
Okla. the president OF the constitutional
committee and "squaw man." at the
head of the ticket. Mr. Hamon said that
Mr.. Murray is a "squaw man." in other
words, that he is married to an Indian
woman and is an adopted member of the
Chiekasaw tribe.
The Republicans VIII nominate 'Jim'
Harris. OF Wagner. Okla. as their can
didate for governor, and he'll be elected.
He is the chairman of the Republic State
committee and born Westerner. He IS
successful banker and real estate man
and is interested IN other enterprises. and
is progressive in every way. He has been
affiliated with Oklahoma for the last
twenty years. and would. If elected, make
most efficient executive for the State.
me convicting OF Gov. Haskell would
be disgrace TO the State of Oklahoma.
He is about the brainiest man of the
State, and It would be very difficult TO
find a man who has done more for Okla
homa than Gov. Haskell. His conviction
would not only be a disgrace to US, but 1t
would do the whole State incaleulabls
harm. It would hurt our material inter-
ests more than anything that I could
think of. Gov. Haskell IS a Democrat
and am Republican, but must ac-
knowledge that he has worked incessant-
" for the welfare of the State OF Okla
homa and its citizens.