The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-10-28
John Henry s
u Courtship
By GEORGE v. HOBART

Seven of us were entered in the
race for Clara Us affections, when l
determined to get out my saw and do
some heavy ice-cutting.
The other six were society shines.
and every time dropped into Clara
Us brownstone found one of these
pale boys draped over sofa, making
gurgles with his voice, and handing
out Fiji chances to my own particular
Pattern of Dress Goods.
1t was cruel.
Something kept whispering: John,
get your brush and paint finish for
these polishes!" so finally l went
after them.
Percy Acton Jones was my pet
aversion.
Percy was short and fat, and when
he talked he used blonde voice.
Percy used to be a dramatic critic
on one of the mail order journals, and
he had the reputation of being able
to throw the hammer farther than
anyone else in the KNOCKERS Union"
Percy rejoiced in the fact that he
was safe from the retributive slap,
because when an actor or an author
whom he had toasted went after him
for the purpose Of handing him one,
Percy would always pull a frown
down over his fat little forehead and
exclaim: Aren't you the rude thing!"
in soprano-then it was all off.
Clara J. rejoices in small brother
whose company name is Thorndyke,
but the family call him Tacks for
short. Tacks is eight years old, sharp,
and hard to sit on. l was his hero,
and 1t only cost me four dollars, most
ly in nickels.
So, with the aid of Tacks, l formu-
lated finish for Percy Acton Jones
that was beautiful to the limit.
l had often noticed that the parlor
of Clara Us camp was threatened
with rush Of sofa pillows to the CELL
ing, and one of these saffron-colored
sit-down-easys gave me an idea.
took Tacks into my confidence
and explained my plan. Tacks didn't
like Percy. In his estimation the Jones
party was stout parcel of heated air,
and Tacks was eager to be up and do
ing him.
At candy cave l bought a pound
of saffron-colored molasses taffy and
had it rolled out fiat and square, so
that it would just about cover the top
of soft pillow.
Tacks was with me, going and
coming, and when we reached home he
went through the basement and let
me in the front door. l felt as nerv-
GUS as an unopened Jackpot, but we
finally introduced the saffron-hued
taffy to the yellow sofa pillow and
placed 1t carefully in the chair most
affected by Percy.
Then l left Tacks on guard and
gumshoed away like Raffles, the busy
burglar.
When Percy rang the bell that eve
ming the door was opened with a sud-
denness that made him gasp, and
Tacks, with a heavenly smile on his
innocent face, led Little Saucer-eyes
straight to the taffy-covered sofa pill
low, like lamb to the mint sauce
Percy sat carefully down on the
sugar-coated pillow, and Tacks, hardly
able to suppress his emotion, shrieked
hoarsely: 'l'll tell Sister you're here!"
and went madly on his way
But Tacks didn't tell SISTER" He
ran out in the dining room. put his
head under rug on the floor, and
choked for five minutes.
When SISTER" entered the parlor,
Tacks was among those "also pres
ent"
The taffy had taken kindly to
Percy's lavender panties.
Percy arose to Greet Clara j., and
with him arose that yellow soft pill
low, clinging TREMENDOUSLY to a back
ground of outraged lavender trousers.
Clara J. was a brave girl. She
longed to take the lid off laugh that
would startle the neighborhood, but
she was polite enough to renig. So
she stood there, biting her lips, while
Percy bowed and bobbed, and every
time he bobbed the soft pillow went
up In the air like the wash on q line
on a windy day.
won't you sit down. Mr.. Jones?"