St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-04-22
TOBACCO AND MISSIONARIES.
Once Popular Humorist's Ideas On
an Important subject.

Z Once Popular Humorist's Ideas on
an Important subject.
! am glad to notice a strong effort
on the part OF tho friends OF humanity
TO encourage those who wish to quit
tho use OF tobacco. To quit the use OF
this weed 10 one OF the most agree.
able methods Of relaxation. I have
tried II great many times. and
can safely say that II has afforded mo
much solid felicity.
To violently reform and cast away
the weed. and at the end OF . week TO
hnd good cigar Unexpectedly In tho
quiet, unostentatious pocket Of an old
vest. affords the most intense and do
lirious delight.
Scientists tell us that q single drop
Of tho concentrated oil Of tobacco on
the tongue OF an adult dog 10 fatal.
have no doubt about the truth or Co
hesive power OF this statement. and
for that reason I have always been
opposed to tho use OF tobacco among
dogs. Dogs should shun the conesn.
trated oil OF tobacco. especially II
longevity be any object to them.
Neither would ! advise man who
has canine tendencies or q strain OF
that blood In his veins to use the con.
centrated oil OF tobacco as soxodont.
To those who may feel that way
about tobacco I would say. shun Il by
all means. Shun Il as you would the
deadly upas tree or the still more
deadly whipple-tree OF the tropics.
Scientists who have been unable 10
successfully use tobacco. and who
therefore have given their whole lives
and the use OF their microscopes TO
the investigation OF It's horrors. say
that cannibals will not eat the flesh
OF tobacco-using human beings. And
yet we say TO our missionaries: mo
man can be q Christian and use to-
bacco"
say. and say II. too. with all
that depth OF feeling which has al.
ways characterized my earnest ma
ture. that In this We are committing q
great error.
What have the oannibals ever done
for us as q people that we should
avoid the use OF tobacco In order TO
at our flesh for their tables? In what
way have they sought to ameliorate
our condition In life that we should
strive In death to tickle their pa
latssy
Look at the history Of the cannibal
for past ages. Read carefully his rec
ord. and you will see that Il has been
but the history OF a selfish race. Cast
your eye back over your shoulder for
q century. and what do you md TO
be the condition OF the cannibalists?
A new missionary has landed a few
weeks previously perhaps. A little
group Is gathered about on the beach
beneath a tropical tree. Representa-
tive cannibals from adjoining islands
are present The odor Of sanctity
pervades the air.
The chief sits beneath. new um-
brella. looking at the pictures In q
large concordance. A new plug hat
Is hanging In q tree near by.
Anon the leading citizens gather
about on the ground ana we hear the
chief ask his attorney general whether
he viii take some OF the light or some
of the dark meat.
Far away In England . paper con-
tains the following personal:
Wanted-A young man to go ~ mis-
sionary to supply . vacancy In one OF
the cannibal Islands. He must fully
understand the appstites and tastes OF
the cannibais. must be able to reach
their inner natures at once. and must
not use tobacco. Applicants may COM
municate In person or by letter.
IL 1t strange that under these cir
cumstances those who freQusntsd the
Cannibal Islands during the last Gen.
tury should have quietly accustomed
themselves to the use OF . peculiarly
pernicious. violent and all-pervading
brand Of tobaccoy ] think not.
To me the statement that tobacco
tainted human fesh Il offensive to the
cannibals does not come homo with
crushing power.
Perhaps I do not love my FELLOW
man 50 we'll a. the cannibal does. I
know that am selfish In this way.
and II my cannihal brother desires 70
polish my wishbons he must take me
- - ands me. cannot abstain
wholly from the uss Of tobacco In or
A. n RrntffV tha pamnorol kaskna n