davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03
A Triumphant COMPUTATION.

From the New YORK sun.
A pusheart peddler called Jerry Cippo-
lario. a familiar figure in Upper First
avenue, was arrested on Saturday night
by an inspector OF the bureau Of weights
and measures. who found that one Of
Jerry's scales marked just one and one
half pounds short weight On arriving
before Magistrate. Corrigan the prisoner
found no difnculty" in giving 800 bail,
since il was stated that he is worth
S7e 600
Some persons professed great surprise
at a pushcart peddler being so rich. Why
should anybody be surprised? Is not the
explanation easy 10 see? Patience, in
dustry, frugality. and very short weights
are q lucrative combination.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03
Position of Pastors on Baggage a
Complete Guide 20 Tourists.

Position of Pastors on Baggage q
Complete Guide TO Tourists.
From the ST. Louis Republic.
A retail clothing altruist has sought
TO make the world his debtor by pasting
York, a typewriter exposition. or sort
OF European travellers Rosetta stone.
which he entities The Language of
Labels" and which, he says. is a COM
plete guide to the manner in which con-
tinental hotel porters affix a tourist 5
character to his luggage.
In a preamble the herald OF tidings
announces that the significance of labels
attached by the Swiss seryitors to the
baggage of the traveller Is rarely under
stood by the latter, but that he (the
writer. has made many trips abroad;
has tested the foreign label language
and can vouch for its veracity
l. A label pasted squarely in the mid
Gle OF a top cover Of trunk or suit
case: This man has the first dollar ne
ever made sewn TO the lining OF his
waistcoat.
2 Liable on the cover at right angles
TO the long side OF the parsllelogram:
Use finesse; this man is short IN his
temple and knows his rights
8 Label on diagonally across the
cover: Be scornful and this bourgeoise
viii never mind the pain
4 Label on back OF suitcase or
trunk: Lose this mans baggage il pos
sible; he deserves IL or worse.
5. A series of labels all around the
edges: A sailor: inherited his money;
but don't be a fool because he IS.
8. Label with corner torn of on
woman's baggage. Tell OF sufeTings OF
your wife and six children: If properly
approached she may pay your passage to
America.
Z. Label torn in half before being al
fixed Signifies what ought 10 be done
TO this person; last time tip was sug-
gested he replied by offering his right
eye
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03
Good Radiance to Bad Rubbish.

Sir Frederick Treves. the eminent Eng
lish physician, says the idea that colds
are caught because Of exposure to
draughts IS absurd; that no cold ever
came Of draught alone and that no
cold possibly can. in the physiological ma
ture of things. so come.
In the name Of humanity. we thank Sir
Frederick. and we hope he is telling the
exact and precise truth The notion that
draughts breed colds is so ancient that its
primary PRONUNCIATION is not. perhaps. TO
be fixed in point of time. No oldest in
habitant'' remembers. or will claim to re-
member. q day when that dogma pre-
vailed not A draught on the back of the
neck was the positive signal for a sneeze
in the days Of Aesculapius. and not since
his honorable time has any medical man
disputed 1t. save and excepting Sir Frede-
rick Treves.
From how many useless frets and wor-
ries will 1t free us II Sir Frederick's con-
illusions prove well founded? There is
nothing unpleasant per Sc in the average
draught; indeed, it is to be rated rather
enjoyable than otherwise. For that very
reason. of course, man generally has sus-
pected It OF hostile intentions To be told
that it is harmless. and 20 be able to be-
lieve it-really. the prospect is most allur-
ing and enticingi
We should like TO class the draught as
cold producer along with the humble
grapeseed as an appendicitis agent. and
hot biscuits-lately exploded by the Agri-
cultural Dependencies indigestion prods
The deterrorizing Of the grapeseed has
added millions of hours of ease 10 human
life; and the debugabooing Of hot biscuits
has made the dinner hour a sweeter
thing. albeit it may have played its part
in showing up the cost OF living. To add
TO these two happiness reforms. the cold
less draught would be a precious thing
truly!
Let Us be firm In the faith that Sir
Frederick is correct. however much our
stout hearts may incline to misgive US as
we try out his theory. Let us re-enforce
the benign philosophy of the physician
with the massed aggressiveness Of the
lay will power set going at maximum
velocity. We thus may gain a famous
victory, and one long day coming. if We
resolve hard enough that it must be so!
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03
The Three Were Not Missed.

From the Kansas City Journal.
1t is told that certain lady of a
Western Kansas town desired to show
kindness to the captain of the local
State militia company and wrote the
following invitation: Mrs. - requests
the pleasure of Capt. IS company at
q reception on Friday evening"
A prompt reply came: With the ex-
ception of three men who are sick with
measles, Capt. IS company accepts
your kind invitation and will come with
pleasure to your reception Friday even
ing"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03
Really Shocking.

Prom the New York Mail
Her hat was a little askew. but she
was we'll and quietly dressed. What
attracted attention was that this woman
was securing a light for her cigarette
from the pipe of a bootblack at his stand
outside a saloon. Then she walked off
putting the paper-covered weed. This
shocking spectacle occurred last night
aT Third avenue and Fourteenth street
The observer at the Office window has
seen American country women smoking
a pipe over the washtub or the kitchen
stove. He has seen Russian women
smoking long cigarettes in the parks Of
St Petersburg and Moscow, while they
walked with men who did not smoke
He has seen a red-faced British woman
smoking a fat cigar on Piccadilly. But
never before has he seen a woman
smoking on the street in this country.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03
significant Names.

Ffosn The Louisville toufleF7JouFnai,
such names as AshuTy Spicer. OF
Breathitt County, Ky" says the Chicago
Inter Ocean, would fit into a Bret Harte,
Mark Twain. or o. Henry story" There
are plenty more at home like them. In
the bright (red) annals of Breathitt many
are revealed. Who could fail to recognize
as A man especially skilled in the use OF
cutlery. Mr.. "Bloodvessel'' Wilson, IL in
troduced to him at camp meeting?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

that sweetens daily life. and that makes
US tender only TO make US strong:
Since God the maker drew
mystic separation 'twixt those twain.
The life beyond Us and our souls in pain.
We miss the pmspect We are called unto
BIZ grief We are fools TO use.
Be still and strong
0 man. my brotherl Hold thy sobbing breath.
And keep thy souls large window pure from wrong
That So as lifes appointment issueth.
Thy vision may be clear to watch along
The sunset consummation-f Of death"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03
Need of YeIret.

From the Cleveland Leader
Employe-Sir I'd ike a raise I've just
been married. and
Employer-So you want more money for
your wife?
Employe-No. sir; want it for myself
She knows Just what I'm getting now,
you see.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03
Rather Confusing.

From Puck.
Foreigner--I suppose that pompous look
ing fellow over there who acts as If he
owned the earth is one Of the rulers of
the people?
American-Oh. no. The ruler of the
people is that Insignificant looking fellow
over there all by himself, The pompous
fellow is supposed TO be one of the SER
wants Of the people.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03
SUNDAY. JULY q. 1910.
Home News Away from Home

Washingtonians who leave the
city, either for q short or long
stay-whether they go TO mountain
or Seashore. or even across the sea
should not fell 70 order The
Washington Herald sent TO them
by mail. 1t will come regularly.
ana the addresses will be changed
as often as desired. It is the home
news you will want while away
from home. Telephone Main $500.
giving old ard new address.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

We read that the colonel recently
chopped down few trees" and that
he intends saving wood for a while
Surely Sherlock Holmes may nationally
conclude from these apparently unimpor-
tant triies that the colonel is going to
work on somebody's political fences.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

A newspaper man OF our acquaintance
is going TO Tennessee for the purpose Of
ascertaining the truth of the political
situation in that State. After he has sat
isfed himself, however. we doubt that he
will be able 10 satisfy the people of
Tennessee
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

THE Republican party is a party in
which a few men grow suddenly and
enormously rich at the expense OF the
many" observes the Norfolk vfrginian-
Pilot. Perhaps this somewhat sweeping
indictment is true and perhaps it is NOT.
anyway. il 1t is. it is somewhat aston
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

Henry Thurston Peck has been re-
quested to resign the professionally OF
Latin in Columbia. The professors dis
qualification. It seems, dwells within his
too intimate knowledge Of the languages
of love and flowers
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03
Never morning wore

To evening but some heart did break"
But why should we dwell on such a
thought? It is far better to know that
this is ruth The poet sings,
That sorows crown Of sorrow Is remembering
happier things"
So. faith shall arm US. if we viii,
against all cowardly fear of our sorrows.
It shall teach US not TO glory altogether
in such strength as we possess. but TO
remember always that what We have.
what we have enjoyed, and what Is yet
TO come must depend on things outside
of ourselves. Faith in the better things
and better days to come shall teach us
that sorrow is a great idealizer; that II
we use it rightly it may become won
derfuI bsnefaction-a trial from heaven
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

Margaret Ellington now. denies that she
ever said she wished to darn socks. I'M
material! The fair Margaret is possessed
OF woman's inalienable right to change
her mind, whether she said it or not.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
AS TO THE FOURTH.

One SORT of jokesmith fingers
Ger tales Of wounded dears.
He jests of damaged fingers
And mangled ears.
do not like such CORY
And grewsome Jests as these.
I care 10 tell no story
OF injured knees.
hope that George and Gerald
Can have a lot OF fun,
And that Til have TO herald
No damage done.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

THE only perfectly germless steak is
the steak fried to a charcoal crisp" says
scientist. Some may doubt the accu-
racy of the statement. but nobody will be
surprised that it has been offered.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

If your pastor this morning should
take his text from Eccl, ix:11, do not
jump to the conclusion that he is going
10 discuss the big event at Reno to-
morrow. You may be disappointed.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

Does Atlanta know grand opera when
she hears it?" inquiries the Richmond
News Leader. But that is not the point
is 1t? Atlanta knows how to dress for it,
all right
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

III America had poet laureate" be-
gins the Louisville Courier-Journal Why,
with the high cost Of living and the
thermometer umpsteen in the shade.
should the Courier-Journal start that?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

The Congressional Record Is stin being
issued regularly; which surely does seem
like rubbing It In
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

The merry Taft Roosevelt war proceeds.
A little while ago II was. Roosevelt viii
repudiate Taft" now it is merely,
Roosevelt has not promised not to re-
pudiate Taftr'
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

ishing that such party should have
In power so long and so tri-
umphantly.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

Pity the poor government clerk. torn
between conflicting emotions tomorrow
whether to go fishing or TO stay at home
and read the pugilistic returns.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03
DIR. Wiley Makes Friends.

From the Baltimore American.
Dr. Wiley chief Of the Bureau Of Chemistry, has
come out in defense Of the kiss. And, If II is true
that kissing goes by favor DR.. Wiley viii never
want for kind word BY all these outside the sden
tic pale who still believe that the sweetest thing
in life Is inra's Tnslnr dream.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03
The Acid Test.

From the Chicago Journal.
President Taft should not take newspaper eTiti
csm greatly 10 heart. We merely wished to dis
cover II his smile really would come Of.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

Mr.. Roosevelt's evident ability to keep
out Of things already has suggested TO
good DR.. Abbott, perhaps. the advisability
of turning the Outlook into a daily with
ample facilities for occasional extra edi-
tons
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03
In ne RntIer Ames.

From the Springfield Union.
There are some who think Butler Ames ought to
have been a waiter; that he should be content 10
remain as a servant in the House.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

Where is the safest place to ride in q
street carr" inquiries a correspondent OF
the Los Angeles Express. Wherever may
be the safest place. hanging to a strap is
the most likely place.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

Mr.. Bryan says he is unable. at this
time. TO suggest 'the winning issue for
1872" Certainly not Mr.. Bryan's spe-
cialty is suggesting losing issues.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

It has been suggested that muskrat
might be more readily accepted as an
article of food II its name were changed
20 musk beaver" But why not change
the ''nusk'' end Of the name, too-to
something Ike ''ylang ylang" or ''frangi-
PAM" say?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

The climatic difference between San
Francisco and Reno may as we'll prepare
right now TO shoulder the responsibility
for the defeat Of the one or the other, as
the case may be.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

Everybody who loves Mr. Roosevelt
should give him a rest" says the Dayton
News. But would Mr.. Roosevelt stand
for il?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

IT RS followers may force him into
politics" reads headline. And the night
shall be filed with music. and the cares
that infest the day," &c.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

Mr.. Roosev4lt's familiar cabot" is
enough to make Mr.. Butler Ames tremble
in his LowelIian boots.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

From the New Orleans Times-Democrzt
By promptly returning borrowed umbrella Mayor
Gaynm has just given his fellow-Nsw Workers an
other shock.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

Let the building Of battle ships pro-
ceed," says the Mobile Register. And It
viii proceed, regardless. we fear.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

a Sunday thought; Whether Jeff" gets
back to perfect form or not. Satan never
has.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

The first man not to read the news
from Reno will be Gov Gillett, of Cali
fornia, of course
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

Neither apparently. will DR.. Cook come
back
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03
Never Can Tell.

On being safe and sane this time
We all are bent.
But still, we'd better save a dime
For liniment.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

Microbes in kisses? Sure; that's where
the bliss Isl
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03
Flying High.

"one of my ancestors came over on
the Mayfower"
''All very well, but our whole family
is going to Europe this SIMMER"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

Little joe Brown was getting along
famously up 10 the time he dropped into
near-poetry.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03
The Facts.

Il understand you spent your vacation
away from civilization
Well, they did gossip some at the
hotel, but Il wasn't as bad as all that"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03
HIS Method.

''Why do you always Jam a Their
mometer into the patients mouth? Is
the temperature so Important
1T saves listening to a lot OF symp-
toms" explained the doctor briefly.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03
Nothing Doing.

Noble red man heap big hunter, Ell?
Be guide for paleface2''
mot II ! have TO talk that kind of
dialect. answered the noble red man
with disdain.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03
Probably Not.

Dukes are plentiful abroad, I s'poseT'
Yes, and very democratic. I've seen
a duke get on a street car"
did the end seat hog move over?'
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03
Not in the Leas..

Not in the Least.
From the Dallas News
Just because a woman is stTingy Is no
sign, of course, that she is wrapped up
in herself.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03
CHAT OF THE FORUM.
30 WOLF in sIexIco.

NO WOrry In MEXICO.
From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
One problem the Mezicans are forever spared-what
TO do with their ex-presdents.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03
Expensive literature


From the Charleston News and Courier.
Apparently 10000 words were SPOKEN during the
last session Of Congress. They cost about So each
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03
An Undesirable Citizen.

From the Charleston News and Courier.
Massachusetts, is going to re-elect Lodge The peo
PIE there are too shrewd to keep him at home
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

LANGUAGE OF LABELS.

AZ hear she gets large alimony.
Eyes: she divorced remarkably well
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-03

NSNeQ 10 the IiiAcu OAdtSS-
Capt. Lewis Morrison. of New York. an
old seafaring man, who is at the Riggs,
in discussing ships, las; night said there
is no buster spot along New York's wa
ter front than the marine hospital in
which wrecked ships are restored to
health
1T is in South Brooklyn" said Capt.
Morrison. ION land once regarded as
worthless. but which now is very yalu-
able For a mile or more the shore IS
lined with piers. storehouses. foundries.
carpenter and machine shops. rigging
lofts, and dry docks. The works OF one
company are so extensive that twenty
steamships or sailing vessels can be
cared for at time. It owns FIVE dry
docks. three of which can accommodate
the largest ocean craft built in this coun-
try
"A visit to the Erie Basin Is an inspira-
ton to the man who has only hszy ideas
of our commerce. He cannot take stroll
along the piers or among the workshops
without having his views quickened and
broadened Yonder he sees half dozen
steamships in process OF repair. The
nearest one was in collision a few days
ago and had great ragged hole punched
in her hull The workmen are tearing
away the bent plates and broken plank
ing for the purpose Of putting in perfect
timbers and plates. The steamship at the
next pier has a bad case of heart failure.
Her machinery is out OF order, and the
doctor in the person of the master me-
chanic, Is experimenting the installation
OF new boilers and engines. There are
many hundreds OF cases of ailments Pc
culiar only to ships.
Congress seems to be made up of men
who are opposed to a great American
merchant marine. Our representatives in
the National Legislature evidently prefer
10 see American commerce find its way
into foreign countries in bottoms flying
the English. the German, the japanese,
and other foreign flags. This seems
conundrum; and yet it appesrs that every
man haa his price"
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-21
WE HELD ATHLETICS TOO
CHEAP, SAYS JOE. TINKER
BY PAUL II. SHANNON.

CHICAGO, Oct. 21--Accordins TO
Joe Tinker. the strength shown by the
Athletics has surprised the Cubs and
the latter are paying the penalty for
holding the Mackmen too cheaply. BE.
fore the teams left for Chicago, Joe
Tinker said to the writer: IF we
do win from the Athletics II will be
only after the btterest fight ever
waged in a worlds series contest.
might as well admit that we are not
the same team we we're two years ago.
II believe that the Cube OF two sea-
sons back would defeat the Athletics
as easily as we trimmed the Tigers.
but we have not improved any since
that time. some of US have slowed up
and hits we were beating out two sea
sons ago are no longer possible for us.
Every player and every team
reaches, the highest point OF develop
ment and then begins to go backward.
You can size this up for yourself
When Fl men get TO base and only
three score, you can figure out your.
self that some Of our speed has gone.
But l don't want 10 detract from the
Athletics any. They are grand
team and their strength is something
that we did not expect to have to go
ND against.