Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-06-26
HUMoRS OF CENSUS TAKING
Strained aud unconscious HumOr
Mixed with Pathos In the
Answers.

That was certainly n proud father who
wrote for his first baby. '2-12," as the age
and Beginners English" replying to the
query DO you speak English" To the
later questions, DO you read and write2'
he answered. hopefully Not yet, but
soon"
To the first question a "lawyer" who
gave his age as 23-repied With great com
fdenCe. "Flueutly'-and | could almost
see him, trying his first case. with
spread eagle oratoty before Judge
who would have 10 curtul his oloquence
nom the starr!
Another replying to can you read?
/ Whte"" said nalvely: Il read this paper
and am writing these answers
The young driver OF milk wagon. evil
IDENTIFY content and happy, perhaps with
his first Job" printed IN capitals. NO
stREEE' IN answer to Were you out
OF work April, 19iO2' while his neighbor,
half a block away, and 56 years old. who
had probably never had vacation, wrote
TOO much work" in reply to- How many
weeks we're you out Of work IN 1902" and
another alsu near by. 80, and haven't
found a Job yet"
It was bachelor physician, who said
he was. head. feet and the whole thing
U
ton of his own position. who meckly 60
WI ote himself as My Wfe's husband.
Another semi-humorlst put his color or
race" on record as white as chalk" using
Ditto" for his wife.
More than one woman might have an
swered as truthfully as one did to the
question: what is your business trade,
! profession or occupation"' Invalid"
Can't you see her keeping the entire
household on the "quivvy vivvy" to wait
on her. While she tries first one school
and then another. one list OF remedies
following another in quick succession?
And was the one who wrote, Lady
to the same practical inquiry more ar
| rogant and dlsdainful Of labor. or sim
pering with "prunes and prisms?'
! What of the woman who answered
Single, married, widowed, or divorced?'
single, to my sorrow! Would like to be
widowed. and soon" Did she Joke or was
she sincere? Uncle Sam may be on the
helping hand side
And the man who gave his age &c, his
wife's at 81 and his years OF present mar
rlage twenty-elght? His other answers were
Intelligent enough; but he ought not to
ask us to believe that when years old he
married a 19-year-old girl. Maybe II seemed
that long
Was 1t imagination that dictated Vic
toria Eugenie Maria There, Leopold
| Emanuel George Washington. John Ad
ans, Thomas Jefferson. Lucille and Topsy,
as the ten children of John and Mary
smith? | almost thought so, for the mar
seemed too young-as well as too cheerful
and too prosperous--to have It anything
more than dream. But the details wer,
ali there with each name.
Dignity was In the reply of the man who
wrote for wife and children, as to occu.
patton None I support my family" and
he was a street car conductor
Pathos crept into the 7O-yesr-old mans
Just widowed" as tragedy did IN "Di.
vorced, after thirty years marriage, damn
/ hlm!" and a mothers tenderness was II
the explanation Sick" after the mo" &C
do you speak English" for the little g.
year-old whose older brothers and younger
sisters were all recorded Yes
oh, Uncle sam! Uncle sam! The censu
does not reveal It all!-New York Times.