davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-11-12

"That was a dreadful affair in st.
Louis the other day"
"What, dearp
"Why, the murder Of an actress by
a jealous actor. She was the ingenue
Of the company"
He pronounced the word 'injunew,"
and Mrs. Bowser made her mistake in
saying:
"That is pronounced as If spelled
'ongenue,' you know"
"Oh, it is? Since when, may / In
quire?"
For hundred years, perhaps.
However it makes no difference"
But I think 1t does. l aim to pro-
nounce my words right, and / don't
care to be picked up and humiliated.
l say the word Is 'injunew.'
"Well, let it go at that"
'Then don't be so quick to pick me
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-11-12

/ came home the other evening Mrs.
Andrews was here, ! burst In on you
and then asked If I@vas de trop. You
looked at me as If you wanted to bite
my head off. Why was it?'
Because you made the 'trop' part
Of the word rhyme with hop 1t is
pronounced de trow."
"Not on your life, woman! ] have
used the word for over forty years,
and this is the first time l was ever
picked up on It, A husband can stand
great deal from his wife, but she
must not interfere with his pronuncia.
ton"
"Not even when he's wrong" she
asked.
"But he can't be wrong"
'You were reading an article aloud
the other evening, and you read that a
certain man had got his congo. You
made it rhyme with sponge"
"And 1t was right-a hundred times
right learned that word when !
was twelve years old"
"Yes, of country schoolma'am, and
she w0s wrong about It, II Is pro.
nounced as If spelled conjay."
"Never-never in this wide world
Do not drive me too far, womanw
81 am talking In n perfectly good
natured way, and you are foolish tc
get mad You see, / have many more
opportunities 10 study out such things
than you"
(which is to say tr.c go blunder
ing along any old way like a blind
mule. Another insultw
"Where none was intended. WheI
Green and bis wife were over here tn,
other evening you said indicative for
Indicative"
"And / was right-forty times right"
"You are not with the dictionaries"
"Whose dictionaries? Because half
a dozen old bumps on logs get together
and decide that certain words shall be
pronounced according to their ideas
must be bound by them? By the eter-
nal, mo-"
"Well, you can have "a dictionary of
your own If you wish"
Bowser's Own Dictioaary.
And l have got one, Mrs. Bowser.
It's the Bowser dictionary. 1t pro
nounces words as they are spelled
Cow means COW every time"
How do you get along with
pl-e-g-h-m?"
ut is spelled f-l-e-m and is SO pro
nounced. 1t Is the same with c-a-t-a-r
You can pronounce your words as you
think best, but don't try TO cram your
way down my throat. 1t is simply Inn
pudence for you to try IT,"
"Shall you publish your dictionary
aud seek TO have 1t INTRODUCED into
- 1850 "a, y --- 800
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-11-12

scnoolsT' asked Mrs. Bowser- after a
long silence, during which Mr.. Bowser
dropped the cat to the fioor and gave
her hoist with his foot.
Certainly. There has long been n
demand for such a. work. and Ii Is
growing every day. See what nonsense.
In the good old days we spelled 1t
w-a-g-g-o-n, and 1t was so pronounced.
Now they have knocked out one g.
and what is 1t but wagon? Why not
knock e out OF buggy"
"How do you treat the word 'valetT
DO you make 1t rhyme with mallet?"
"Of course / do. II valet is valley,
then mallet is malley. IL the born
fools want to give a twist to their
words, as If they were being twisted
out with corkscrew, let them go
ahead. We have a street in town
named Montague. Why should any
one cali 1t Mon-ta-gew? When we
speak of the plague we don't pronounce
1t pla-gew, do we? 1t is Montague or
it's nothing. When / got out of bed
the other morning l mentioned to you
that felt leth-ar-gic. ! saw you grin
ming to yourself"
II have always heard 1t called leth-
argic," she quietly replIed.
"And you may for year or two to
come, but there's new deal on hand.
/ was In hopes when this discussion
came up that might get few point
ers from you, but 1t is needless to
say that | have been bitterly disap-
pointed. suppose If should say that
a certain person was cor-pulent you'd
find fault with the wordT
He Quits Home.
II have always heard 1t pronounced
corpulent."
| "Well go on hearing. My own fire.
side is not for me. IL / come home
| and sit down for a cheerful evening
you must always bob up with some
thing to spoil 1t. / am going out l
may come home inebriated and In a
mood TO brook no insults"
IF you remain we can talk OF some
thing else, can't wer' she asked. ~
haven't insulted you, and l haven't
said an unkind word. l know that
there Is the word cough and the word
coffee, and II you want me to put an
% on cough I'll do It,"
"Too late, woman--too lateW he said
as he waved a hand at her and de-
parted for the family drug store. The
druggist had ten minutes to spare,
and he listened patiently to Mr. Bow
ser's dictionary scheme and the radi-
cal changes proposed. When the story
had been told he quietly said:
There is one word | hope you won't
think Of changing. II you do shall
not. .know how to think Of you. It's a
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-11-12
Her Ineonvenient Wait.

81 had a most delightful time last
summer" gushed Miss Noling, tbut
was dreadfully inconvenienced at Leaf
landville waiting for my trunk. I went
there by the n. L. G. so as to take
advantage Of the scenery along the
route, but had to send my trunk on
the slow b. @. and E.'
"But why couldn't you have sent
your trunk on the N. I. O. tooY muir
INJURED Miss Sterling.
Because" explained Miss Noling
glad to show her superior knowledge
II learned from friend of mine that
the N. Il. G. is not a trunk line."-
Brooklyn Life.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-11-12
BOOK BY BOWSER.
His Own Dictionary Differs From
All Others.
PRoNoUNCES TO HIS IDEAS.
Mrs. Bowser Differs--Lively Discussion
Follows-He Seeks the Druggist,
Who Tells Him There is a Three. let
ter Word That Spells 5owser.
BY NJ. QUAD.

BY M. QUAD.
copyright, 1910, by Associated Literary
Press.l
" L was cOolish evening, and as
Mr.. BOwser came up from din
ner and saw the blaze Of the gas
logs and noticed the cat on the
hearth he turned to Mrs. Bowser and
asked:
"What on earth do men do who have
no little wife, no fireside, no home"
II am glad you are pleased" she
answered, with a smile of pride on her
face
eyes, ! am more than pleased.
should be an migrate II | were not.
Without the house there is drearl-
ness; within is good cheer, Yes; this
is the way to live"
And he actually caught up the
blushing woman and printed smack
ing kiss on her chin and laughed at
her as she said he never would get
over his courtlng days. He lifted up
the cat and stroked her fur; he patted
his leg and whistled. He was the
sometimes Bowser-. sometimes when
he was not the other Bowser After
bit, desiring to entertain Mrs. Bow.
ser. he said:
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-11-12

little word of three letters, but 1t
means much. You are it and 1t is
you"
1t was three days before Mr.. Bow
ser caught on. Then he went over and
dared the druggist outdoors. but it
was too late. The price of squills had
again advanced.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-11-12
Kicks Comino.

BILL see blacksmith has intro
duced a phonograph into his work
shop.
Jill-Well, II he shoes mules 1t might
be just as well to make 'em face the
music IL he wants to preserve the in
strument." Statesman.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-11-12
A Puzzle.

THAT is a puzzle" said a novelist
at dinner In New York. "Yes, that
Is as much a puzzle as Mrs Malaprop's
definition of naivete.
"Mrs. Malaprop and gentleman
We're discussing a beautiful young lady
poet. The gentleman said:
What regard as the most con.
spicuous thing about her is her nal
vete.'
YES said Mrs Malaprop; 4 won
der what made her get such a tight
one "-Washington Star.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-11-12
Merely a Detail.

81 came along at fine pace In
my new motorcar this morning.
/ must have gone well oyer
forty"
Dogs or chickens "-World Of
, Golf.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-11-12

PETS PUSSY AND THEN BREAKS.
up again. Inc otnr day, wnen saIu
n-tri-fu-gal,' / noticed you looking
at me in queer way"
Because was wondering IL you
meant centrifugal"
mo, ma'am, 1 didn't / meant just
what said"
But there is no word pronounced
centrifugal"
what! Whati Mrs. Bowser,
came home to pass a pleasant evening
at my own fireside. Do you wish to
drive me out on the streetsW
mo, OF course not"
Mutterings Of a Storm.
"Then don't as good as call me a
jackass - was pronouncing words
when YOU were In your cradle. When
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-11-12
His Love.

"A case OF love at first sight. ehT
mo, second sight. The first time he
saw her he didn't know she was an
heiress.N
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1910-11-12

Copyright West 9TH St NewY
Copylgt n forming al
ant Teh asan for sn samp til
permission MURRAY YMUsCC York No.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1910-09-24

Peach ice cream delivered after sun
per. Phone the Elite.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1910-09-24

There is no longer any reasonable
doubt that Philadelphia and Chicago
will fight out the series for the worlds
championship. There is neither any
doubt but what the Chicago Nationals
will go up against the best team they
ever played in this series. The only ad-
vantage is that Chicago is saving her
best men now for the worlds series,
while Philadelphia will have fight to
the last to get the pennant- This Will
of course find Chicago at the end OF
the season much more fresh than It's
opponents, and consequently in much
better trim for putting up good fight
This has been the case each year and
has been one of the reasons why the
worlds championship has always gone
to the National league
There is much dissatisfaction among
the big league players because they
were refused permission to take part
in the tour Of the All Stars" As a
result some of the most influential OF
them are now drawing up bill OF
rights which they viii present to the
national commission within the next
few weeks and demand that it be pass
ed The demands will be as follows:
1. A clause in contracts declaring
them free agents" after playing IN
one city for q limited term of years
2 In case OF dispute between play
ers and club owners over the size OF the
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1910-09-24

in the use of the play. In the west
surely the forward pass will be as it
has been-the prominent feature OF
the game.
In the east it VIII be interesting to
watch its development Now that the
ball may cross the line at any place
there are three points that may be at
tackled instead of two-the center and
both ends-when formerly it was
merely the two ends. This fact will
weaken the defence and give oppor-
tunity for open play.
Danger to the Play.
The forward pass itself seems 70 be
better play, but its danger remains
the same. The player bout to receive
the forward pass cannot be interfered
with under the new rules. 1t is per-
missible, however, to tackle" the
ball; that is. to catch or make the at
tempt to catch the BALI while it is in
the air. 1t is here that the danger
lies. for when we find several players
going together in an attempt to get
the ball we are apt to have sericHs
injuries, for the men are not out OF
position usually and unable to see the
position Of their opponents, and acct
dents occur to men in just such
awkward positions as a general rule.
Since the first year of the "Old" rules
the forward pass has played but little
part in the eastern game.
1t will III all probability meet with
the same fate after perhaps a good
try out" under the new rules, for
the eastern coaches and players seem
to have a prejudice against the play
due to the weakness of the play itself
The fact that the ball may now be
passed over the lines at any place may
make the play so much stronger that
1t Will hold in the east, where the de-
fensive strength of the eleven is SO
much greater than that of the west
ern teams and because of which the
forward pass has never met with much
success. In any case it will be inter
esting to watch its development.
The ORside Kick.
The legislation applying to the for
ward pass also governs the onside
kick, with the exception that the kick
must go more than 20 yards beyond
the defensive line of scrimmage. This
rule does away with the short onside
kick just over the line, that the
Princeton team of 1909 used so sue
cessfully. 1t does not affect. however
the kicks that were used last fall to
any great extent. for the successful
KICKS of last season Were the long low
ones away from the defensive men in
the back field. These. of course, trav-
eled more than 90 yards, and were
usually made from a regular kick
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1910-09-24

I formation; hence the legislation in
connection with the forward pass does
not affect them in any way. He will
be a valuable man to his team who can
place his kicks accurately and time
them, as did Veeder\ of Yale and
Douglas OF Annapolis. Under the new
rules. as under the old, the kicking
game will be the strength of an
eleven's attack and it's offense shall
be known by its kicker. 1t is good to
see a premium placed upon skilful
kicking ability, for kicking" is foot
ball
The player who first receives the
ball after it has been snapped back
may now cross the line of scrimmage
at any point. This means that a quar-
ter back is no longer necessary to pass
the ball to his backs, for now the ball
may be received direct. AS direct
passes from center to half back are
much faster and surer. the game
should be correspondingly fast and
free from fumbles. The straight line
plunges of the old game and the short
end runs should be good ground gain
ers because of the greater speed with
which they can be started. The quar-
terback will be called upon to perform
just as halfbacks; in fact, his duties
will practically be the same He must
De good ground gamer himself and
a good interferer, as we'll as a good
field general
Prohibited Playing.
Seven players of the side holding
the ball must be on the line of scriIn-
mage. Interlocked interference, that
is, players of the side in possession
of the ball, grasping one another or
using their arms or hands in any way
to push or pull the man running with
the ball, is prohibited. This rule does
away with the last semblance of the
old mass play: the runner must now
make his way alone and unaided by
his teammates excepting in straight
interference. The Interference must be
ahead of the runner-never behind
him.
The diving tackle is prohibited
but real diving" tackle only occurs
about once a season. The legislation
against this play will not be felt.
We hope the new game Will prove
safers one. We are sure it WIZ L.
a more difficult one for players. for
coaches and for officials, bur a c),tpie
Of months of actual play only can put
the stamp Of approval or disapprovaI
upon the recent changes.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1910-09-24
The Worlds Championship
and Complaint Of Players
By III. H.
Shelton

players salary. a board of arbitration
to pass upon the case.
8. Representation on the national
commission.
T. Six months players contracts to
terminate at the end Of the league sea-
son, or compensation for u months OF
service if club owners insist on that
time for their contracts
5. Freedom to play ball or engage in
athletic sports with teams other than
those in organized baseball after the
American and National leagues are
over.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1910-09-24
SOCORRO AND SAN MARCIAI,
TO PLAY BALL ON Sunday

socorro. n. NJ, Sept. 24-Socorro and
San Marciai are billed to oppose each
other on the local diamond Sunday af-
ternoon- The Railroaders have a good
record this season, but Notwithstanding
their achievements, the local boys ex-
pect to wind up with a victory against
the best team in this part of the ter
ritory.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1910-09-24
AUTO NOTES.
!. :. :. . :. :: 3 " = :: :. :. :, 8 .

V K. Sturgis is back If he had hit
a particular Colorado bear, he would
have caused a puncture. But me didn't
H. H. Henderson has received his Ma
tional 40, the first 1911 car delivered in
the city.
E. G. Perry has purchased Buick Is
through c. A. Stewart, local agent.
The Sturgis company is going to open
a Denver office to handle Colorado
rights for three cars.
The Rio Grande Real Estate company
has purchased a Cadillac 80 through
the Burkhead Automobile company.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1910-09-24
VETERANS DEFER ACTION
ON LEE STATUE QUESTION.

Atlantic City, n. J., Sept 24.-After
a warm debate of more than three
hours. the national encampment of the
G. A r., at it's final session, indefi-
nitely postponed action on the cOntro-
versy over the placing of the statue
Of Robert F. Lee in Statuary hall The
vote was 1913 to 102.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1910-09-24
CACTUS CLUB.

The Cactus club will open tonight at
s D. m. with match ten pin game be-
tween FL Paso and Las Cruces The
public is cordially invited to attend and
inspect the finest equipped club rooms
in the southwest
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1910-09-24
STATISTICAL DOPE.
(By Art WOods.)

WHERE THEY PLAY SUNDAY.
National.
No games.
American.
Washington at st. Louis.
Philadelphia at Chicago.
Boston at Detroit
Cactus.
BiSbee at Ell PaSO.
Cananea at Douglas.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-07-17

because he promised his invalid Mother
not to have Nothing to do with no Smart
Fellers Suchly is the hard life of young
men who must Broke for a living
ooh look-see Hon. Treasury Bldg.
What is that great brass statury stand
ing befront Of it? That is Hon. Geo.
Washington. Why has he got such high
pedestal in the midst of this great Money
Street,
This question from me.
Because he is the only Prominent
Figure on Wall Street who couldn't tell
a Lie when necessary" report Gov.
Hughes.
"Ah no." l report, ''Hon. Washington
is the only man who crossed the Della
ware ahead Of John D. Rockefeller
Great excitement from Gov. Gillett)
Nextly we go inside Hon. Stock Ex-
change.
20 look with your noses & see it! Do
you observe so many refined college
each other like mules? Will you behold
so many Astor-looking gentlemen with
corporation moustaches Waiting back &.
forthly yelluping like dash-hounds at the
smell of Frankfurters? Inspect the way
they gallup forth with extended fists
whenever Hon. Blackboard says "67-6s
%" What make them act so like a
mania? Because they are making
money!
But how does yelluping and kicking
and swearing at blackboard marked
"67-6S-23'' make money!" require one
Rough Rider who is SO narrow mind he
cannot understand why Senator Hale is
greater than Abe Lincoln.
1 reply to his childness by saying
nothing. So we debut back to our Look
See Wagon outside
Next by Wall Street we go see the
close, so Hon. Lower Glasses can learn
how-do it to make jump-up in the
world.
New York is extravagantly proud of
her Sum-" 1 otter. 1T is larger & SUM
mier than anywhere else in the world.
Please to notice 100000 human people
walking around in streets, because they
would rather do this than waste their
time in fashionable clubs. See the chill
dren picking apples from the gutter and
their parents hanging their Family Sc
crets from the fire-escape."
Would they not be happier in the
Country who're the air is more natural"
require Mrs Alice Hooligan Tott with
extreme fairness.
"Ah surely mott l snuggest IF they
was took away from New York they
would miss the Metropolitan Opera and
the Horse Show. Also, if they should go
into the country folks might mistake them
for Farmers, which would be too dis
couraging."
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-07-17
f6eo 461R 6 3uahssa1 4 E25a&lua116tEH
/ PmyonaHy conducted by
f+AS444&f45R t tA4ktAt4khA46 ACE 4IAAF4N}

money they are called Brokers, but when
they amt they are called Broke.
.'NeXtly, observe that Bryan-looking
person with New Jersey whskers & a
valise made out of a Brussels carpet.
He is called a Small Investor Please to
see how IL brokers make run to him all
looking perfectly honest like a Railroad
Rate Bill. Are they trying to help this
See how they whisper to him some In
terror Information which they just OBJ
tanned from Hon. Jas. r. Keenes ste
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-07-17

factor By the Irish lace stone-carving
in front of his cozy palace you will no.
tice that he is very happy & successful
man. Both his daughters married French
Counts and have never been heard OF
since. The fatty gent with white silk
stockings & red plush coat brushing the
sidewalk with silver brush is Mr.. Van
Astorbilt himself. Nogi, pass EDWARDS.
The quiet marble-cottage with the
gold roof is the home of j. Pierpont
Stockseller. The gentle man standing
on the steps with the frock coat is not
Hon. Stockfeller-that's the janitor. Hon.
Stockseller is now in Venice buying st.
Marks Cathedral which he will use as
garage for his country place in the
Cataskils.
ITO our left side is Central Park. The
persons setting seepfully on the benches
are Common People. Many of the per-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-07-17

year the combined ladies OF America
come here and spend $6s7. 400 45.04 buy
ing millinary that makes them look like
photos of Lillian Russell.
Nearly all the rich persons in Ameri-
ca reside on 9Th Ave. when not else
where's getting divorced. Children born
on 9TH Ave. usually know French and
horse-racing before they can talk. To
live on this street is the ideal of every
millionaire not too poor to build himself
a home Kindly to observe the architec-
ture everywheres, covered with carving,
spangles, gilt dragons, coat-of-arms,
brass ratings, etc, to show that the
owner is modest & humble in spite Of his
great wealth.
Drive-along movement of wheels by
Cousin Nogi.)
ITO your left is the home of Hon.
John D. Van Astorbilt, the famous male
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-07-17

This is Broadway for YOU to notice.
| speak it. Many totally blind travel
lers has called this the most beautiful
street in the world Is il not enthusiast
filled with bricks. policemen, actors
theatrical advertising and wreckage from
automobiles which have struck some
other taxi-cab? Listen to the elevated
railroad roaring at the subway midst
footing from horns and street pianos
playing Has Anybody Here Seen Ted
dy?' Fourth of July is useless on
Broadway, because you would never hear
it. Is it not natural that such noisy
street should be the Headquarters of
Art? 1t is! If it was not for Broadway
there would never be no New Theater.
no Trixy Fraganza, no nothing. Every
great Play that was ever written was
Street. every great Playwright that ever
happened was born with the consent OF
some Broadway management"
Was Shakespeare born on Broadway
require one Rough Rider Teddishiy.
He were not 1 dib, land that Is the
reason he never wrote a successful play
like "Tilly's Nightmare
So We continue EDWARDS to Hon
Brooklyn Bridge, famous structure which
has been going to Brooklyn steadily for
90 years and never once touched water
Hoping you are the same
Yours truly
HASHIMURA TOGO
following adv. go in for nothing.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-07-17

"MANY TOTALLY BLIND TRAVELLER
So we drive EDWARDS. Nextly beyond
Hon. Sums we arrive to 9TH Ave, which
is a wide, stone street full of sinful
wealth.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-07-17

HIIE we are cir
culiZing around
showing America
to Tourists, nego-
tiate Cousin Nogi,
why should we
foolishly neglect to
take them by New
York City -
"Is New York
City in America,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-07-17
HASHIMCRA TOGO.

S. P-Please, as usual. let all Of tho
following adv. go in for nothing.