The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1910-04-22
Slump Slocum Philosophers.

tother is kotched frum rubbin al
agin natur an observin ther doin
. NV men. | karakteriz yes EN- az teck
nickul an hoss sense filosofy. Th'
Slocums prides themselves on heviI
er lot Nv t,1er las kline, an sumhov
all'us blabs it, no matter whutl
/, ther time, nur ther 'caZhun. Nov
Slump Slocum is ther bes' filosoful
Nv ther family. He wuz borr
with his hine sites set toward, ar
can grind mo- filosofy out NV el
thing than Cyarter he'd otes.
Tother day he he'd Josh cornerec
in ther cow shed an gin him ei
gabulationp NV filosOfy thet made
my hair stan up in 'stonishment
| wuz nubbin sum corn fur thel
| hosses and thunk as slump laid il
out ter Josh. Josh, seq he, taint
no use grevin over split milk; ther
peepul split ther milk when tha wuz
fuled inter electin bribe takers an
| bribe givers ter ther legislator.
faint thet | blames ther peepul
Gaze tina wuz fuled by ther slick
tawk an cloze NV them fellers, but
| duZ tex il thet bein fuied wunce
'ull make em harder ter fllle mex
time. Mex year, you know, /,
thar'll be er clean sweep uv ther
hole possy commy tattus. good nns
an bad uns alike. Ole Tray wUz
foun' in, bad kumpny an kotch er
beetin-tber good legislatermGn IL
likely ter kotch it in ther same
way-an sum folkes sez it'll serv
EN- rite ef tba can't take er Joke
| doan sez as | holes on ter tibet,
but my attertude amt gwine ter
save thare scalps.'' Their doins
down ter Jaxon iz sech er darnation
fusion thet nine Filadelfy lawyers
couldn't pick ther saints fruin ther
sinners. !" Now, it aint my idjer
to 'cuss ther ''izzes an ther haz
bins" It's ther future thet
intrusts me-" I il consarned er-
bout who's gwine ter 'stute ther
legislator ter be 'lected mex year.
IL it gwine ter be posed NV eel tim |
ber. slipper elm bark. er what? |
IL ther peepul gwine ter be- used az !
instruments ter gin er lot Nv offs /
hunters er job, or IL tha gwine ter
hunt er man whut fits ther job"
Their feller whut rides er pacin boss /
wun thousan miles an climes er
barb wire fense twenty times er
dav ter tell ther voter he hez bi o
called ter make laws fnr his Kintry,
heZ mo- patriotism in hiz heels then '
he hez in hiz he'd "Ther histery
NV Missippi Legislators pruves thet
ther members who got thar over
ther boss an barb wire route jes got
thar-thets all, 'ceptin gitten back.
Thar iz er nuther kind NV feller
who wares er fried shirt. ther man
whose head il big ernuff ter hold
her brains NV ther county an who
ooks wize as er owl when state
matters iz toched" When fellers
ak him gifts lected, tha totes ther
orains nv ther pacin boss kind un-
Ter their hats, an 'nipulates them
ak er copper wire duz er 'lectric
,urrent.'
Josh up ter this time he'd not
led er wurd, bat when Slump
lasitated ter git er fresh start,
Josh axed: "Whut duz yer 'vize
her peepul ter do mex year when
ha goes ter chuze .er legislator"
| aint win en- sed Slump, II
z jes filosofizin." EFF tina kin
inc emmy good in ther filosofy tha
z mo- an welcome. "Whut ther
,locum family wants liz er homes
egislater hevin hoss sense" !" Thar
z er way ter git it, an thets whut
IN cummin to- ''Doan yer
'leve tLer peepul kin chuze er clean
OF NV men ter represent EN-, Josh
'locum?' Sho sed Josh. IAN
loan yer bleve thet scandles down
er Jaxon IL gwine ter put EN- in
her noshun NV doin it?" Fought
o." sed Josh, but thar's mo-
lick raskuls OUT ther legislator
han thar IL in it, an how il. ther
,eepul gwine ter tell emp Let
m call ther men tha wants. an
III vouch tha gifts ther rite kind
ed Slump. How's tha gwine
er call emp" sed Josh, maxim er
move ter git out'n ther corner.
In er mass meetin, sed Slump.n
Duz yer put thet in ther form uvl
r moshun?" Josh quered. Mary
ime" sed Slump. l wuz jes filoso-
zen.''
then klumbd out'n ther crib
n sed: You il tawkin treezun
oys." Their Legislators amt nigh
9 bad az yer pictur en-" Sum
Y ther members amt shinin lites