Omaha daily bee., 1910-01-03
TANNING GETS PASSPORTS
Swordless Colonel is Heeled by Jims
with Proper Credentials.
NOTE TO ALL THE POTENTATEs
Documen 60 Pass Him Into Egypt
Read ut New Years Meeting
of the DahIman Democ-
rncy.

The first day Of 1910 was made glad by
open house festivities at the Dahlman
Democracy. Mayor Dahlman, accompanied
by the members OF the Fire and Police
board. visited the club in the afternoon.
Mayor Dahlman and the members Of the
board addressed the gathering In short
speeches Of general felicitation.
Nick Daragaczewski. the famous mayor
OF Sheelytown, took occasion to deliver a
hurst of oratory- which came well near
being Immersed in cheers.
Dan Horrigan rose to read a commission
from Mayor Dahlman to Colonel flaming
TO be borne with the explorer on his In
vu3lon Of Egypt. 1t was a surprise and
a disappointment for the assembled multi
tide. tina the modest and retiring colonel
had retired and beaten his way home in
graHt haste. but the reading Of the com
mission was proceeded with.
Text Of the cumen
The momentous document reads thusly:
To the Khedive Of Egypt the king of
Italy, and such other beys, shieks, dervishes
ana ward heelers as this may concern,
greeting:
Be il known that the bearer Of these
presents. Charles r.. Tanning, is a high
private in the ranks of the Dahlman demo-
crazy, and although somewhat in arrears
with his dues, Is entitled TO all the honors,
DFlAlleKht. NluI NtFlt6 anu AItt III hNAA
orally accorded to one of this high station.
BE it further known that he is a mem
Der of the staff of the governor OF Ne
braska, commonly known as Eight O'Clock
Ashton, on account of "A popular uklse
issued by him which closes everything but
the churches at early candle light and re-
quires all married men not afraid of their
wives to be home in bed. In this fightless
army of 1000 officers and 500 Privates
the gallant bearer of these presents holds
the rank Of colonel, which is not so rank
but that his record as a Dahlman Democ-
racy high private condones IL. To adorn
and sustain the said rank of colonel he
has a uniform resplendent with gold lace
and buttons, by comparison with which
your royal robes may look like a buffers
livery, and lest he may attempt to dazzle
and overawe you with his ample person
encased In this radiant habilament of war
We ADVISE you that he has never had the
courage to wear II here and shows. signs
OF panic at any conversation relating to
his military rank or recosd.
BE 1t further known that while his os-
tensible business Is that of a contractor of
public works, his actual vocation is poll
ties, and while his mission abroad is un-
known to us and may have been for its
purpose, the getting of contracts to repair
the pyramids or repave the Appian way,
We iseI II our 59ty to warn you hat his
self in lntrigues to overthrow the ~reigning
monarchs and we would therefore caution
you to keep your crowns on light and apply
more exactfhg tests of feaity to your
courtiers and subjects during his brief
Finally, we would invoke your roya, pro-
lection over him during his visit TO your
realms and save him from the folly of
his credulity and gulllbility in the spend
ing of his shekels. Often has he fallen
before the siren spie, of the purveyor Of
blue sky and glorious sun-rises. Only
Yesterday did he invest heavily in the
stock Df the I~nter-Planetary Railway com
pany. And so, knowing that his vanity
viii prompt him TO bring back substan-
tial evidences of his communion with the
Dead Past for the establishment of our
benighted eyes we appeal to you to shield
him from the wiles of the takers WHO
would sell him the touring car of Ptolemy
or the airship of Rameses the Third.
witness the hand of her great chief and
the seal of his house hereto affixed, In the
presence of a council of the braves held
on the first day of January, in the year of
Our Lord, one thousand nine hundred and
ten.
Getty Seal) JAMES C. DAHLMAN.
The Dahlmanites and anti-Dahlmanites
gathered In numbers to make the day
happy, Among those at the open house
function were Colonel Ed P. Bergman
and Colonel b, f. Marshall, secretary and
president Of the Jacksonian cub.
Maynard Wilson, major-domo to Mayor
Dahlman, recited some wild western verse
ard a colored quartet sang several num-
bers.