davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19
Robust Mr. Roosevelt.

Says the New Orleans Times Democrat:
mo American win be surprised by the statement
that Theodore Roosevelt has been found proof
against the various types Of Jungle fever. for. ac-
cording TO his friends the ezPrsident Is stalwart
enough 70 throw of any oontsg0n and, according
70 his foes, he is himself fever Of special type
The real explanation Of the great faunal natural
ISIS perfect health probably lies IN his complete
knowledge Of the latest discoveries in sanitation
Il was not for nothing that he sent a body Of ex-
perts TO Panama to hound out the record which a
similar body Of experts had made in Cuba. II
men Of European stock could live and work On the
isthmus. why should they not likewise hunt with
impunity in the vilds Of the Dark Continent
Mr.. Roosevelt's present fine physical
status is remarkable. and within it
dwells a story that ought to appeal with
tremendous force TO every young man In
America to-day. especially to those who
are not strong or who may be inclined to
bodily weaknesses Of one kind and an
other.
The former President was far from
being a healthy person in the days Of his
young manhood. There was a time when
he entertained grave fears of his ability
10 keep himself alive many years. He
overcame all Of that by eleeting to live
an open, outdoor, strenuously simple
life. He became a plainsman. a big-game
hunter, an accomplished pedestrian. He
lived among rough but manly men In
the West when he lived that life. Then.
IL his home life, his social relations. and
his gentler pursuits he has been scrupu-
lousy clean and free from all dissipa-
lions and vices. He gradually grew big.
and hearty. and healthy. and happy. and
huoyant as he gave himself more and
more to this programme Of living. It
persistently toned and strengthened every
fiber of his being, We think. Under its
benign influence he inevitably expanded
physically, morally. and mentally.
The secret OF Mr.. Roosevelt's ability
to Withstand the assaults Of jungle fevers
and the effects OF exposure is simple
He has lived a correct and orderly life
lived It In a pure atmosphere, in the
society Of people worth while. and along
common sense lines. he transformed
himself from a physical weakIing into a
physical giant through sheer force OF
determination and pluck.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19
An Army Embarrassment.

An awkward situation prevails N the
commissioned personnel Of the army by
the unusual situation in which are placed
two officers. Capt. Peter c. Hams. IT., Of
the Coast Artillery Corps, and Capt
Thomas Franklin. of the Subsistence De-
partment. Those officers are under SEN
tence of imprisonment by civil courts. the
former on account Of manslaughter and
the latter by reason Of alleged embezzle-
ment Neither has been tried by a mill
tary court, and it is a question whether
they come within the Jurisdiction Of
such procedure following the action
of the civil courts There is no way
10 dismiss them without eourt-ynartial
proceedings; they may not be retired for
any reason without an examination by a
board of officers, and they cannot apDear
before court or a board without the
consent Of the civil authorities. More
over, it might happen that. In the case Of
Capt Hams. at least, a court-nartial
would find him guiltless of any crime
which justified his separation from the
military establishment
In both cases the officers are likely to
remain in the penitentary for several
years. and. in time. come to block pro-
motions, since they may not be promoted
without personally appearing before an
examining board. Such a board might
meet at the penitentiary, but it could not
recommend either dropping or retiring
the officers unless there were disqualiA
cations, physically or mentally. 1t Is
within the possibilities OF the situation
that all requirements for promotion might
be met. It Is realized by the military au-
thorities that such a situation is intoI-
cradle, and that something must be done
to get rid of officers retained on the ac-
tive list under conditions which make il
impossible for them to render active
service, and requiring others, more for
tunateiy placed. TO perform their tasks.
There is no law by which an officer OF
either the army or navy who is sentenced
~ ~ ASSA ~ a Civil court may Dy reason
of that circumstance. be dismissed. II
might very well be regarded as a situa-
ton justifying such a drastic measure,
and 1t seems strange that there has never
been such provision in the statutes in
all these years. It is remarkable, also.
that the occasion for such a proceeding
should not have hitherto arisen. and that
at this time there should be two officers
requiring elimination.
There appears TO be only one way by
which the desired separation from the
service may be accomplished. and that Is
by nominating officers to take the place
OF Capt. Hams and Capt. Franklin, re-
spectively. Senatorial confirmation in
that event would serve. under a we'll
known decision of the Supreme Court. to
put those two officers out OF the military
establishment; but the proceeding is
one which the military authorities hesl-
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19
THE SONG OF COOK.

got the goat, all night. all right.
And while PeaTy was out Of sight
| took the goat and home I came
By way Of Denmark. land o. fame.
But Peary's goat my records ate
And I'm almost disconsOlate.
A learned Copenhagen man,
A doctor. called the goat TO scan,
said that he thought he'd save a
share,
and an cmetic did prepare.
Yes; Peary's goat my records ate
And m almost disconsOlate.
And Peary's goat got very sick,
And what We got was pulp quite
thick.
Ia Il Denmark no proof could find
And gave me a Scotch verdict. kind,
For PeaTy's goat my records ate
And I'm almost disconsolate,
But still the pages saved did hold
The graphic story that I sold
For eighty thousand, so my plight
Gould have been worse by a long
sight.
Though PeaTy's goat my records
ate,
Still I'm not quite disconsolate.
RALPH LEE.
Revised and edited by e. G..
Graham and ID. S. PoEter.l
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19
CENSORSHIP OF THE PRESS.
The Hartford Courant Calls Down =
CaptfOus Critic.

The Hartford COurant Calls Down .
Captions Critic.
A patron having taken the good. clean.
conservative old newspaper, the Hartford
Courant. to task for printing the news of
a prize fight. that paper proceeds to say
something in reply. And this is what is
says:
"As for wise censorship why, bless
you. every reader OF the newspaper ex-
ercises just the function Of censor. wisely
or not. as may be- They are few who
read all the paper. One reads the prize
fights. another the revival meeting: one
the police court and another the char
tiles conference; one the markets and an
other the sports. and many read here and
there whatever attracts their eyes after
they have studied the weather report.
The censorship II exercised from
without would surely misjudge for most
readers; the one logical course is for the
newspaper to give the news, hold up TO
the public the mirror which reflects all
the activities OF our varied daily life, and
let the reader study what interests him.
If the city hall burns down, or II rob
Der assaults man in State street, or II
a bank cashier defaults, IL is not the
newspaper that commits the onense. All
II does is TO make public an occurrence
In which the public is interested
I'VE have every reason for believing
that II the excellent gentleman who is
now coming out OF Africa had read
a newspaper the morning after that fight
and had found nothing on the subject
therein. he would have asked what sort
Of a newspaper that was. anyway. He
would have wanted to know all about
the fight. and the people like him for
that very thing.
1T takes all kinds of folks to make a
world. The newspaper is for them ali.
and having it, they can read for their
own subsection OF II or for the whole
round ball-just as they choose. II is
up TO them TO decide. The news IS all
there"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19
SECRETARYS LAMENT.

By jingsl wish the boss were here!
I'm hanged Il / know what to do.
The way they're chasing Uncle joe
Has got me ratified through ana
through
I'd Ike 70 lend a helping hand
To smooth things down bit, and
yet
That might make matters worse
because
Those maleontents-they don't for
get.
Twas rather rough to leave poor me
To keep the cats all In the bagl
wish the boss were here, dol
I'm 'fraid we'ns bout 20 strike a
snag,
Oh, why viii statesmen scrap and
fight
When they like brothers ought 70
dWelll
Gadzooksl This simple life. so-called.
Is surely getting to be -!
FRED ". CARPENTER.
tBy pro1y.)
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19
Big AustraIlnn Drought.

From the New York Press
Australla's last drought lasted seven
years. and there never has been one like
Il since Australia was settled At the
beginning OF this dry spell there were
100000 sheep in Queensland. and when
the rams came only 100000 were left.
the dry spell ending in 1893. and to-day
there ere as many sheep as ever. In
these feven seasons the nocks have
trebled themselves, Fortunes have been
made since those years Of disaster at a
single run. and an irrigating lesson has
been learned that viii minimize their ter
ror If they should come again. In the
interior of Queensland the yearly aver
age of rainfall sinks 10 below ten inches:
rivers ere scarce. creeks are few, and in
the summer dry up to a chain OF water
holes.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19
WHEN A MAN FAILS.
Opinions Given Out ny Neighbors,
Creditors, and His Family.

Opinions Given Out by NeighbOrs,
Creditors, and His Family.
From the New York Evening sun.
Mr.. Binney failed in business.
One OF his neighbors said: AT last7"
Another neighbor said: Il thought they
were going it pretty strong for man
of his income. Still, didn't like TO say
anything at the time
A third neighbor said: "oh, I'm so
sorry. My dear, we must so over and
give Mrs Blnney our deepest sympathy.
I'm dying to see how she is taking IT,"
One brother-in-law said: IF he had
lent me that $500 I asked him for last
year he'd have been that much ahead
anyway Much good 1t did him TO keep
It. Too bad. though. Of course"
Another brother-in-law said: "sly old
boy. Binney. He's got It sailed away
somewhere. all right. Don't you worry. '
His butcher said: Now. a poor man
like me has to pay his debts as ne goes
along. All the same. I'm not worrying
about the $50 he owes me. but I'll bet
you if owed anybody $40 they'd make
my life a misery TIL they got It."
His wifes best friend Ito Mrs Bin
ney): Now, my dear. you mustn't mind
any OF the awful things you hear. At
time Ike this. people will talk"
A friend: "A man must either have
exceptional capital or exceptional ability
to succeed IN business nowadays Poor
Binney as It happens had neither"
A second friend: How much will he
be able TO pay? twenty-five cents on
the dollar? How did there come 70 be
so much? Did Binney overlook it?"
a third friend: "NInety-five per cent
Of business enterprises are Improbable.
There's nothing like steady. we'll pay
ing position"
A knowing acquaintance: wise old
Binneyr
His daughters: I'VE must hold our
heads UP higher than ever or people VIII
say that we are ashamed"
His wife: Hell be home more now.
and that is everything"
Blnney: ''whew! Thank heaven It's
over, Now I've got to hustle and get a
Job"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19
GREATNESS.

What time con the veTse Of Pore
And find faulty, rhymeless line,
l muruur softly: Alees dope
Il much Ike mine.
] sean the lines II Avon's bard:
Frequent the grammar faults I strike;
WherUat I swell. and gay: odd pard,
We're much alike
] read that Irving coaldnt add
That two plus tao would floor him fat.
And then think I'm not 50 bad;
I'm Just like that
Lately I read The Life q Poe
A drink It says. be never missed
I'm not what you would call s Pro
Hibitiouist.
OF Burns c0nquests ! hare read
ByrDa's affaiH were multiplex;
OF me it never can De said
I hate the sex.
In me these many traits combined
Such qualities-should mean a lot.
And yet. you know. I've come 10 find
That they do not. Life.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19
EVERY SATURDAY.
Cur Motto: Hyoa see it in The Big
Sud. it ism I necessarily so.
ROOSEVELTISM.


Reminds you Of the good old
Roosevelt days, ehy
It certainly does; and The Big
Stick hopes those obstreperous peo-
pie hereabout who lately have been
clsmoring for political excitement
are satisfied at last,
We fail 20 recall anything in the
Rooseyeltian period that was more
Of a thriller than the present situa-
ton In Congress. Certainly there
IS a cracking Of heads and a smash
ing Of noses that smachs strenuously
Of the good old days OF chagrined
malefactors and abashed undesirable
citizens.
Go it, insurgents; SO it, regulars;
go it DemOcatsl say We. Kick all
the lids of, and tell all the state
secrets worth the telling! It is
great fun for the country at large.
In fact, we might call it a bully
performance OF course, it is not
a dignifed exhibition, but 1t still
may be Rooseveluan without being
precisely that.
As for our good friends the Demo
crats-well. We wish them a pleasant
return from their expedition into
the enemy's country. we opine they
will not come back with many
scalps hanging to their belts. nor
yet with many slices Of pie in their
hands. But they are used TO that.
In fact, the Democrats appear to
prefer bedlam to pie, which. after
all, is all right in its way, perhaps.
The Big Stick does not propose TO
throw its influence one way or the
other in the momentous crisis now
upon US, We shall view the battle
from afar. and enjoy it. Altogether.
We should say it is more amusement
than a box Of Monkeys
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19

tate TO take. lest at some time it may
prove precedent for the misuse Of
power. This does not really seem TO be
good reason for deferring action. IL it is
finally determined that these two unfortu-
nate officers should be separated from the
army. The situation is one which. be-
You'd the present phase. justifes general
legislation to meet any similar conditions
in the future.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19
Welded for
the Uplih.
STICKS TO US.

Motel is with one Of the most
profound pleasures We have ever ex-
perienced in a lifetime q sturdy
devotion 70 the elevation Of the pub
lie taste to those planes Of literary
endeavor which have as their founda-
ton head a heaFen-born genius that
We call to the attention Of our nu-
mercus readers the letter given be
low.-Ed. Stick
Smokers Gay. Va. March Il.
Editor The Big Stick:
I have weighed seriously and con-
serTatiEely your proposition 70 cut
the rate cf payment ! have been
receiving for my offerings 20 your
publication from s. a word to SIse.
which reduction yoa say is IN con
sequence Of the high cost Of living.
OF course. can vel understand
that you may feel the general in
crease Of prices in effect all along
the line. and I have myself. for the
same reason, thought Of asking sd-
ditional compensation for the fruit
Of my labors. You know, as well as
I do, that my verses are as market
able as the most necessary grain Of
the field, and the only influence that
sweryes me in the least toward &C
cepting this new rate Is the fact
that the readers Of The Big STICK
demand my matter, as you tell me.
and simply won't have anything
Just as good" thrust upon them,
l am willing. therefore, to accede
to your pleadings. and you may take
this letter as an acceptance OF Sg9
a word for further contributions
from my pea: but / do not agree
TO restrict my work 70 your publica-
ton. be Il understood.
/ know the demand for metricai
compositions in these days is very
great, indeed. and viii not be with
stood: | know that real Warblers,
such as ! myseif-Nith al mOdesty
do / say it-are few and far be
tween, and, taking carefully under
advisement these two facts, and the
further fact that the cravings Of
your subscribers for the better line
Ct poetry Is such as VIII not be
assuagcd or appeased By any imita-
ton Of the genuine article. take
pleasure, I may say, in placing my
self again on y0ur list Of regular
contributors.
] hope you viii make an announce
ment in your next isue 70 this ef-
feet, in order 20 forestaII and pre-
vent any demonstration among our
good and peaceable citizens.
Sir. l beg TO remain.
J. CECIL HOOE.
Z. ST. shall expect Sls9 each
for these words Of acceptance.
Read the Bingiile Bugls tomorrow.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19
A LITTLE NONSENSE.

PLENTY OF MATERIAL.
Some poets please
TO sing Of bees,
OF butterflies awning.
They dearly love
To MARBLE Of
The brighter side Of spring.
Some bards prefer
To carp and slur,
To yelp of cleaning day;
To sing of SHOWS
Or else compose
A pessimistic lay.
IT'S certain quite
That bards can write
OF springtime by the ream-
At least one thing
Is true of spring
1t is a goodly theme.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19
BY YE LOCAL SCRIBE.


Granny Hunt has given up the
newspaper business for the more
profitable occupation Of publicity
agent.
Gene Cochran is certain that the
cigar trade will decrease 80 per cent
if Uncle ice" Is left at home next
Congressional election.
"0h, what's the use!" remarked
Henry Xander, Il was cut out for
a concert manager. Inclination Is
born in man, and 1t viii surely crop
out.
sam Hege denies the accusation
that the aero meet was carried
away from Washington Just because
the B. & o. runs through College
Park.
When Gus Karger is accused Of
writing the poems that have ap-
peared tn The Big Stick over his
name. he modestly and blushingly
stands for it.
Ross Andrews can't quite under
stand what all the row is about on
Capitol Hill. He thought the in
suTrecticn in the Philippines had
been suppressed.
Col. Bill Hart has been confined
to his home fer several DAYS. The
colonel IS CT the impression that the
comet struck the earth ahead OF
time. or. at least, it struck him.
Franklin T. Sanner says Washing
ton viii not have TO sweep its
streets on May Ia, the papers hav-
ing chronicled the news that the
tail Of Halley's comet will sweep
the earth on that date.
Mr.. John Collins refgams from
eating lunch st the noon hour. lie
takes the time to observe the prog
ress Of the mammoth moving pic
ture show house in PENNSYLVANIA
avenue, In which he is interested.
After listening TO Lawyer John
so1's argument in the Supreme
Court On the virtues Of the stand
ard Oil Company, Alex Wolf has
reached the conclusion that the
octopus is more sinned against than
SHINING.
When c. P. Glen found out that
there was a possibility Of a nignt
session at the Capitol, he immedi-
stely tslephoned his wife to get up
a party for his friends. She did 80.
and q. r. ducked the session,
leaving Gus Cooke on the lob the
first real work Gus has done for
these many moons.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19
Never Butt In.

From tbs Buffalo Express.
A man should not go around the
house interfering with things no knows
nothing about
What do you know about that -
Well, saw something that looked like
battered birdcage without a bird in #.
and l threw it out. Now must let my
wife get new hat"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19

The Hon Hiram waybaek will hope,
of course. that the present Congressional
unpleasantness viii in no wise interfere
with the usual distribution of garden
seeds
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19

People DESTROYS Of locating nice. quiet
place to spend the summer might con-
slider Africa 1t Will be hard to start
anything exciting in that country for
some time to come
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19

The House Democrats hate a dull time.
above all things. At present. they may
be engaged IN the doubtful business of
swapping the devil for witch. but they
are, nevertheless, we suppose. enjoying
themselves immensely.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19
The Tobacco Heart.

ffun JtFdEe.
Madge-What makes you think Charley
has a tobacco heart?
Mar1orie-He seems to care more for
his old pipe than he does for me.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19

ing from the jungies. Those whiskers
would have been good for many columns
of stuff-stuff. too. that would come liz
handy in the absence of real news.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19
Actually Happened.

Il suppose you have heard the old joke
about taking a sea-goiag cab?'
Yes; but It isn't joke in some places.
/ used one in Venice.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19

According to Mr.. Burke, it costs $1,000
per day TO run the House Of Representa-
lives" OF late, however. the House has
shown an unusual inclination to give the
people a long run for their money.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19

The government is after the parties
out In Illinois who have been manufac-
turing 'moonshine butter" II their out
put was up to the usual 'moonshine'
products. that butter must have been at
least strong enough to walk
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19
Looks that Way.

With barefoot dancers out galore
/ really feel
That Art has very little more
TO reveal.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19

II want to get a line on that fellow.
Whom does he care for principally
Himself.
But has he no companion?"
''Oh, yes; his umbrella
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19

Mr.. Roosevelt will write history Of
Texas after he has rested from HIS
hunting trip. That probably Will get him
into more rows than another campaign
for the Presidency.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19

fortune in 1850 VIII be 5000. 10000. After
all. there is some consolation for those
whose life expectancy stops we'll this
side OF 1850
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19
A MoraI Certaintx.

From the Dayton News
Ii is morally certain that Congress viii not adj
iourn until after the Potomac shad season has
closed.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19
News Item.

Seen the latest news?''
mo. Let's have it."
''One Of the summer fiirts who went
South for preliminary practice has de-
veloped a glass arm through having her
hand held at Palm Beach"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19

Maj. Hemphill thinks nothing whatever
of handing an esteemed but loathed con-
temporary a three or four column swat
while 1t waits nowadays
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19

Mr.. Peary has Cancelled his untitled
dates down South. AS he neglected to
take his arctic outfit along with him. It
Is supposed he found himself unable TO
stand the Dixie frosts
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19

From the Baltimore American.
The United States Senate Is rapidly becoming a
body in which courtesy has been sheived and hard
language Is on the daily menu
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19

From the Rochester Herald.
Instead Of giving Mr.. Roosevelt the ranking
privilege. why not build him a wireless station
frum which he could talk to the whole world with
out COST
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19

Eggs have fallen so sharply in price
of late that the ultimate consumer will
instinctively incline to view all Of them
with more OF less alarm.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-19
Our Main Need,

What do you think of this endowed
tbeater?"
u don't know anything about H. What
we want is an endowed slaughter-house."