davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27

He who goes into politics must Re-
member what be - recorded to have
said. for It Is the habit Of the sharp
nosed public to search out past utter
ances and hold the candidate RESPONSE
bic for them. John Burns. says Mr..
Grub In his life Of that labor leader.
once made the slip Of remarking that
no man was worth more than $500 .
year. Accordingly. when he became
cabinet member with salary Of e.
600. he was obviously open to attack.
When be 6rst met bis constituents
Mt Battersea after he was made presi-
dent Of the local government board
candid friend recalled the statement
about q mans worth BY calling out In
the middle Of his speech:
"Wot abaht that ere salary OF e.
000?"
Mr.. Burns was equal to the coca
sion.
THAT Is the recognized trade union
rate for the job" was bis apt reply.
IF took less ] would b. black
leg"
"wot yer goin' ter do with the s1.5Oa
overy' pursued the inquisitive ques'
TONER.
For details" answered Mr. Burns.
apply to my treasurer. Mrs Burns
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27
Didn't Know Beans.

A young woman was talking In .
restaurant you see." she was say
ing. 1T was my first experience in
cooking beans. We are SO fond Of
them I wanted to be sure and have
enough. 50 l ordered three pounds at
the corner grocer's. This looked about
the right amount. and I put them on
the range and left them to boil tender.
When / went into the kitchen again
the range was covered with beans, 50
was the floor. and out Of the kettle
poured q steady stream Of beans. !
took part Of them out. added more wa
ter and again left them. If you'll be-
lieve It I had to take out three more
large portions Of beans before the
original mass became manageable. So
I'm not ordering beans just yet even
at q restaurant."-New York Sun.
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27
4 CONTRARY WOMAN.
1hinas That Cured Her 9omstlusol
Killed 0thsr People.

Things That Cured Her Semstiusss
Killed Other People.
Appendicitis does nod hurdt me lige
Il might odder beoples," said her Ba-
varian neighbor when the woman had
eomplimented her upon her appearance
after the attack. "N0dding e6ler
hurdts me the same as odder Peoples
nodding. Things dat cure me kills 3D.
der peoples sometimes. Did ! nenef
dell you aboud de dime ven I vas q
CHILD. ven I had sgaried ve6er? No?
Den I viii dell you.
I'm our down aboud dat dime dere
we're six hundud ghildrun vat diet Oh
sgarled veffer-six hundud. All our
family vas down NIT him. Dwo OF my
brudders diet. Dey had giRen me cub.
De docdor he say: Led her haf emmy
ting she wants. Id wond make no DIFF
ference. Led her hat her lasdt wish.
vaddefIer he is
"And 70 Id happuned dat I wanted
come zour meek. Und dey gi6 me al
I wanted. A big boddle It vas OF zour
meek. und I yet CUP und drink him
all.
Den lay back und vent do zleep.
und ven de docdor he gone again he
my. very zupprized. Wy. her veifer he
zeem to be all gone!
"Und he vas-all gone. In dwo days
I vas CUP und aloud de house az veil
az e6er.
"'vonderful! zays de docdor. Won
derful:
Den de Peoples In de nexdt house
vat had very zick Child dey thought
dey would dry ze ZANE ting.
"Dey gi6 her . big boddle OF zour
meek do drinkt. und in aloud half
hour by de CLOCK she vas deat"-New
York Press.
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27
The Poor Milkman.

A family living In an eastern city
found good deal Of cream on a bot
tie Of milk which had been STANDING
overnight. and when the driver called
in the morning the pleased servant
held II up to the light and said. "LOoL
here. ! have never seen anything like
this before ON your milk"
The man looked at IL for a mOms.it
scratched bis head and replied. "Well
I don't know what's the matter, but
you can throw It out. and I'll give you
q fresh bottle In its place"
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27
One Of Or. hals's Jokes.

When he was quite young man the
late DR.. Edward Everett Hale playeds
practical joke on some girls who were
members Of q party with whom be wa
summering on the Massachusetts, coast
All these girls were reading the same
exciting novel. and one day at dinner
II was leading topic. KNOWN. that
none Of them had finished 1t. Hale. un-
known to them. carried IL away with
him the next morning when he went
to the city. On the train he wrote an
absurd conclusion to the novel. laying
the final scene ut the summer resort.
Carrying this bogus conclusion to
publisher. a friend Of his. he had II
put In type. and then. carefully remOv
ing the bona fide conclusion. he pasted
In his own. On his return he placed
the book on the piazza and waited
The look which spread over girls
face as she read that last chapter was.
DR.. Hale declared. worth going fur to
see.-WOman's Home Companion
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27
COM |! NC

Columbus. Mebra aka,
The eminent physician ON chronic
diseases viii visit our city
On Friday, Nay 6. 1910,
And will b ct The Thurstou hotel until
2p m. ono day ONLY.
Dr.. Pottssf president. Of the stat Of
Tie Boston Electro Medical Instiiute, 10
making tour Of The tlate.
He vill give consultaiioo examination,
and oil the medicines necessary 70 com.
plete cure FREE. All parties taking
advantage Of thu ODER arc requested to
state 70 their friends the result OF the
treatment.
Cures DEAFNESS by an entirely new
process.
Treats ell durable cases OF catarrh.
throat and lung diseases. eye and ear,
stomach, liver and kidneys. gravel.
rheumatism, paralysis. nsuralgia, nerv.
ous and heart disease, epilepsy, Bright's
diseaso and disease of tho bladder, blood
and skin diseases. and big neck and
Otammesiog cured.
Pilss and rupture cured without de-
teotioo from business.
Asthma cured in short time.
II you arc improving under your fam
ily physician do not take up our valua-
bic time. The rich and the poor are
treated alike. Idlers and curiosity seek
srs will please stay away. Our time 10
valuable.
Remember, NOT A PENNY will be
charged for The medicine required 10
make Q cure Of ill those taking treat
msat this trip O63cs hour 8 .. N.
Positively married ladies must be
accompanied by their husbands. Re-
member the date. Friday. Nay 6. at
Thurston hotel. Columbus, Neb. until
2 o'clock p. m.
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27
CrestOn.

CreStOn.
Ernest GiRax vas at Omaha last week
buying Q stock Of implements.
Mn. Frank Arson has been quite sick
with heart trouble the past week.
NJ. and Mn. W. 8. Bslknap ara visit
ing With relatives in different parts Of
Iowa.
Fred Mater had tho misfortune to re-
break his finger while playing ball last
Sunday.
Mrs. Pratt OF Lincoln, sister Of 4rs.
Henry Ksmper il here under the care OF
Dr.. b. g. Morris.
Mrs. ". Decker, sr.. left on Friday
last for . visit with her mother who 10
in very poor health.
Mrs. n. Ffeiden returned to her homo
after Q weeks visit with home folks at
Council Bluffs. Iowa
NJ. and Mrs.. Gus Smith arc the proud
parents Of baby boy which was born
TO them last Sunday.
Miss Ida CLARK Who has been very
sick, 10 much improved ., this writing.
% . to b up and around.
Nm. Wsgner. sister Of Mn II. Engie-
bart returned to her homo at Stanton
after . couple Of weeks visit here.
Miss Mells Graham reiarned home
from Kansas City, Mo-, after having
taken Q term OF vocal lessons there.
The high school class Of 1910 are re-
hsarsing . very appropriate play to be
eisvn the day Of this term Of school.
Sam Fleming. II. Luedtke, r. B.
Webb attended the Bankers convention
at Columbus on Friday OF lest week.
Mn. J. B. Smith LETT the later part OF
lest week for her homo in Scribner after
Q visit With home folks, Mr.. and Mrs. F.
Ansoo.
M. Good and M. Neiphus OF ElRin,
Neb., wsre In Crsston Saturday. Mr..
Good applying for the principslship of
the high school for The ensuing year.
Mrs. Herman Luedtke and her mother
Mrs. e. T. Graham left last Saturday
morning for Kansas City, No.. where
they expect to make . few weeks visit
With Mr.. and Mn Farnsley and family,
Mn. Farnsley bsing Q daughter of Mrs
Graham.
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27
BRUINS FREE SUPPER.
Experience Of . Camping Party In Vel.
lovvstonO Park.

Experience Of . Camping Party In VEL
Iowstons Park.
In the Yellowstone park all wild ami
mails are allowed to roam. as they will.
and It Is against the law to shoot them.
Some Of these animals have become
very tame and do not look on man as
an enemy. In fact, the bears seem to
think the hotels built there are for
their convenience. as they visit the
garbage cans nightly for their meals.
Even tiny chipmunks will stand and
scold people as they pass by ON the
road. and such little thieves as they
are! They live in style on grain they
steal from the hotel stables.
One night q party camped near one
Of the pretty ravines, and. being tired
from q days tramp. they had early
gone into their tents to sleep-an ex-
cept the boy. who enjoyed slumbering
in a sleeping bag with the stars for
q roof.
Early In the night they were aroused
BY q noise Of falling pans in the kitch-
en- wagon. Those who were not afraid
rushed out and discovered big black
bear calmly eating his supper from
the provisions. Not being allowed to
shoot him. one grabbed whip. another
a broom. and they hourisbed these
weapons about. Frightened and grunt-
ing. bruin clumsily scrambled away.
when suddenly there was q livelier
grunting from the bear. accompanied
by an unearthly yell. Mr.. Bruin In his
hurried flight had stepped on the I'M
noticed outdoor sleeper. frightening
him 80 much that afterward he slept
under the tent roof-Detroit Free
Press.
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27
The Flying 0utehman.

The Flying Dutchman was q shiI
which was sometimes visible from VI
rious points Of land. but more partic-
ularly from the Cape Of Good Hope
In very stormy weather. The story
runs that her captain once swOre Sc
fearful an oath that as q punishment
for his blasphemy be was condemned
to beat about the oceans until the day
Of judgment. The Flying Dutchman
was never known to get into port and
was generally seen sailing under full
canvas before a strong wind. The
myth Is generally understood to have
had its origin In the waterspOut. which
In the distance resembles q sailing
vessel
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27

HiGgins-HOw Is 1t you are AWAY:
idl;ng about? I never see you when
you have anything to do. Virgins
time looking after other folks business:
I have none left for looking after NY
own. Don't you find something like
the same trouble yOurself?-BOsto
Transcript.
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27
What Struck Him.

Did anything about the defendant
strike you rs being out Of the Ordi
nary" asked the Judge Of the plaintiff
In q case Of assault and battery.
YES. your honor" was the reply.
what was it?' Queried the Judge
His flst," answered the plaintiff. :
Chicago News.
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27
Very Fortunate.

One evening just after dinner u
young husband Of indianapolis was.
in accordance with his custom, giving
his better half the gist Of Nhe news
when suddenly he laid down the paper
with this exclamatiOn:
by George! Here's an account tell
Ing how during the recent storm Of
the New England coast q ship loaded
with passengers went ashore. Why.
that vessel belonged to my uncle Tom
In POrtland-'
How fortunater' returned the yOun:
wife, "And just think how glad those
passengers were to get to dry land"-
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27
Uniouo 1abloeDoth.

When a southeast wind is blowing
the visitor to Cape Town IL treated to
a peculiar and interesting natural phe-
n0menOn. for Under such conditions
Table mountain. In the language Of the
natives, puts on tableclOth."
In other words, the thin line Of fleecy
cloud forming above It descends until
1t rests Hat upon the mountain top.
with its edges dropping gracefully over
its sides. 1t Is really not unlike the
article Of household use which gives It
its name.
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27

ITO save time IL to lengthen life" II
q prOverb found In one form or an
other In almost every language. and
Culver. the great naturalist, found life
all too short to accomplish all he
wished to do. though most economical
OF the hours.
Il found" he said. that my shaving
took me q quarter Of an hour q day.
This makes seven and half hours In
q month and ninety hours. or three
days and eighteen hours. very nearly
four days, year. This discovery stag
gered me. Here was ! complaining
that time was too short, that the years
few by too swiftly, that I had not
hours enough for work, and In the
midst Of my complaining I was vast
ing nearly four days . year In lather-
ing my face with shaving brush. and
! resolved tbencef0rth to let my beard
grOw."-Omaha Worid-HefaL
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27

When Mark Twain was beginning
his career as humorous lecturer he
one day arranged with q woman &C.
Quaintance that she should sit in q box
and start the applause when he should
stroke his mustache. The lecturer
started OF SO well that he did not need
any such help. however, for he caught
the audience from the first By and
by, when not saying anything worthy
Of particular notice. he happened to
pull his mustache. and his anxious
ally In the box at once broke into furi-
Gus applause. Mark was all but bro
ken up by the misadventure and ever
afterward carefully avoided employing
such help to success.
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27
The Best Ever.

Gentleman-But I am afraid he
wouldn't make q good watchdog. Mar
with bull terrief)-NOt q good watch
dog! Why. I-Or' bless your cart. il,
was only last week that this very ami
NAL held a burglar down by the throat
London Taller.
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27
Rain and the eeot.

DR.. John Watson Dan. Maclaren'
says: "Never ask q Scotchman II 1t Is
raining. ! have never heard a SEQ,
admit that the rain Is falling. What
] have heard him say IS that II It goes
on a. It Is now II will turn out wet
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27
Music OF the Blood.

Have you ever heard your blood:
Have you ever put one Of those large
seashells to your ear and heard wha.
the children say Is the sound OF the
sea. the music Of the waves?" We'll.
that Is really the sound Of your blood
MS It circulates-echOed In the empty
shell. You can hear II sometimes
when your head Is ON pillow. but j.
does not sound musical then. Try the
shell Mt any time and you will lind
that your blood is always flowing.
Stick your thumb In your ear and lis
ten. That Is natures way Of constant
" carrying the nOurishment from we'll
digested food to every part Of your
body.
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27
An Artists Criticism.

Falsuiere. the sculptor. tells capt.
tai story Of Henner. the great artist.
who, although he lived In Paris al bib
life, never lost his Alsatian peasant &C.
cent or his country manners. But
Henner was . very keen critic and
had . clever way Of showing his dis
Ike Of wordy enthusiasm. Falguiere,
whose talent a q sculptor - known
IN the world over, was very fond Of
painting. but be did not paint partjcu-
larry well. One day Henner was In
his studio. and Falguiere showed him
some Of his pictureA
"What do you think Of this oue?'
asked Falguiere.
superb said Henner. with his Al
sati0n accent 'Marfel0uS!'
"And this one?"
"Broditchous!'
"And this onef'
"Suplime"
Then the old man picked up Q little
bust which his friend had Just fin-
ished:
"Ahr' he said. Now, OATS goodr'
II never painted after that" said
Falguiere.-New York Mail.
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27
Valuable Advieo.

Young Lady-A friend Of mine -
engaged to q man. and now he refuses
to marry her. What would you ad-
wise her to do? Old Lawyer-Is the
man wealthy. Young Lady-No. He
hasn't q shilling. Old Lawyer-Then
Id advise her to write hi nice let.
ter Of thanks.-IOndon T. r1ph.
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27

Character Sketch.
You say he served four years In q
EefOrmatOry institution"
"Yes. and 1t made a man Of him"
II don't notice my evidence Of IT,"
1T did. just the same. He was sew
enteen when he went In and twenty
one when he came out. "AChicago Trib-
UDe.
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27
Not Guilty.

Doctor. why don't you sometimes
lenounce wickedness In high places!
Bless your soul. Brother Hardesty,
I do! Have you forgotten that In my
sermon two Sundays ago ! spoke
sharply against the practice Of hirting
I'm the elevated railway trainsY'-Chi-
caGo Tribune.
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27

The truce Of Cod was introduced
by the clergy Of Guienne around about
the year 1880. 1t was adopted in Spain
about 1850. In England about 1850.
According to this famous treaty, q
cessation Of all violent Quarrels was
enjoined under heavy penalties during
all church festivals and from every
Wednesday evening until the follow
ing Monday morning. This left only
about eighty days in the year avail
able for shooting and stabbing ones
ueighbOrs. The truce seems to have
accomplished much good, nOtwith-
standing the fact that It was very tm-
perfectly observed.-New York Ameri-
can.
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27
Echoes Of the Past.

SSssOSo ~ wv U 49,
Mark Antony had asked his country
men to lend him their ears.
Il want them for q loan exposition -
he explained. II have already q splen-
did collection Of Roman noses"
Having gained their attention BY
this little flight Of fancy. he proceeded
to ding a few choice bouquets at the
late J. Chicago Tribune.
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27

She-When ] married you ! had nc
idea that you would stay away from
home % much. He-Well. neither had
Life.
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27
Have You 0iplopiaf

Diplopia. as Ito name signifies. II the
defect which causes the eye to see two
images Of the same object OF course
the drunkard's temporary diplOpia h
well known. but It n possible for a
quite sober person to perceive two key
holes instead Of one, as the comic jour-
nails have II, and yet be Q total alb
stainer. Diplopia Is usually the result
Of sQuint or general eye weakness and
Is necessarily distressing malady. As
q rule, the defect manifests itself In
regard to small objects at some dis
taDce-eight feet OF 80. For instance.
one lamp will be seen slightly above
another or to right or left As q rule.
the false image Il fainter than the
genuine one. but when I looked through
the prism. which made me for the time
being diplOptic. saw the second image
quite as clearly as the nrst but with
q tendency to wander. The farther
away the false image appears from the
true the less distinct Is its outline
Strand Magazine.
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27

Each decision you make. howevez
tri6ing It may be. win influence every
decision you win have to make, how
ever important Il may b.
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27
Studies In Still Life

Studies In Still Life.
IL want q few cOlored illustrations
Of beets and tomatoes"
Life size:' inquired the artist.
Catalogue size." replied the seeds
man, with q significant smile.-Louis-
vile Courier Journal
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27

On motion the clerk Of this board
was directed to forward q claim for
One-half the amount Of the above bills.
being the sum OF $43.S2. to Polk
county for reimbursement.
The following bills were. on motion.
allowed by the board and the clerk
directed to issue warrants In payment
Of same on the county general fund:
c. A. Peterson. supervisor. ser
vices as supervisor. .........$ p 10
Louis Schwarz. supervisor, ser
vices As supervisor. ......... 25 80
J. F.. SEIZURE. supervisor. ser
vices a supervisor. .......- 81 60
John GOetz. supervisor. ser
vices as supervisor. % 40
Adam Smith, supervisor. ser
vices as supervisor. ........ 20 90
N. f. Clother. supervisor. ser
vices As supervisor. ...... I? 80
Daniel Wilson. supervisor. ser
vices as supervisor. .... IL 90
c. A Peterson. supervisor. auto
for county board to bridge. 10 so
Moved by Supervisor SEIZURE that the
board Of supervisors now adjourn I'M
til May ,. 1910. at {: o'clock p. m. Mo-
ton carried.
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27

HimI might have married q dozen
better women than you. Her-I might
have married q dozen better men than
you, and, what's more. intend to-
Cleveland Leader.
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27
A0RAl0ee.

Lawyer-You don't like the jury?
DEFENDANT do not. No. Is my
tailor. No. Is my grocer. No. 5 Is my
milk and egg dealer and No. : IS my
wife's first husband! What chance
have I got:"-St. Paul Dispatch.
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27
ASKING q Favor.

Mixing Q f1Vot.
Lizzie Ann was servant girl. She
said bitterly to her mistress one morn
ing:
Here's another letter, ma'am. I've
got from Mrs. Jones' cook. Marie.
Marie says they've given her q con.
servatory now. 1t fairly makes one
sick. Fibberr'
Lizzie Ann hcsitated, then said diff
fldently:
II bin thinkin', II hired an auto
and a photographer. would ye mind.
ma'am. II me and the master was took
on the front seat together? 1t would
settle that Marie when sent her the
picture. Spokesman-Review.
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27
A Stern Chase.

~ Sy0VU NUoSOs
The Youth-Yes. I'm IN business for
myself, but don't seem to be able to
meet with any success.
The Sage-Nobody ever meets with
business. young man. He must over
take jt.-Philadelphia Press.
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27
An Exception.

Dibbs-Women are invading all kinds
OK masculine occupations. Gibbs
There are no women rat catchers yet
Boston Transcript.
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27

Genius finds its own road and car.
r1es its own lamp.-Wulmott.
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27
a Crazy Spsil.

a Crazy Spell.
The opera was '4T-0vatore"
Though I no moro may hold thee,
Yet II thy name q SPELL"
sang the bassO to the prima donna.
And It was. Her name was Sophronis
Czechlinskiwick-Ju
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27

..
On motion Of Supervisor Clothsr
same was adopted.
The following was presented:
To the Board OF Supervisors:
Gentlemen: propose to do the pre-
liminary work in the law suits over
the Platte river bridge matter con-
templated by Platte county against
Polk and Butler counties and to take
part in the trial Of all cases necessary
against said counties for $4,000 and
expenses. II one or more suits are ac-
tually brought and are successful am
to he paid $4,000.
Respectfully submitted.
LOUIS LIGHTNER.
Moved by Supervisor Smith that the
proposal Of Louis Lightner be accepted
and adopted. Motion carried.
The following resolution was intro
duced by Supervisor Goetz:
Whereas. claims for the repair work
just completed on the Platte river
bridge. south Of Columbus. have been
filed in Polk and Butler counties and
may possibly be rejected in which case
Platte county would want to appeal
from such rejection, now. therefore. be
IL
Resolved. BY the board Of county SUI
pervisors Of Platte county. Nebraska:
That the attorneys OF said county be
and they hereby are empowered and
directed to furnish the necessary bonds
In the name Of the county Of Platte for
the appeal Of said claims.
On motion OF Supervisor Peterson
same was adopted.
The following bills. same being In
The Columbus journal., 1910-04-27

rected to issue warrants in payment Of
same on the county general fund:
Klopp 4 Bartlett. Co, supplies
for county. .$llS W
Omaha Printing Co. supplies for
county ...-..... - ov
Telegram Company. supplies for
county, etc. INSTRUMENTATION S3 IL
Hammond 4 Stephens Co. sup
plies for county. 2 10
University Publishing Co. sup
plies for county. 90
Gray Mercantile Co. merchan-
disc for county. SO
John Graf. county clerk, record
ing onlcial bonds. IL 90
John Graf. county clerk, cash
advanced ................... IL ~
VIM. OBrien. justice Of peace.
costs. State VS.. n. J. Clark. l2 SO
Vim. O'Brien. justice OF peace,
costs, State VS.. Geo. Nc
Guinness ~
James H Galley. witness. State -
vs.. Beasley 4 Davis. ......... 10
Martin Speicher. witness. State
VS.. Beasley 4 Davis. 10
A. r. Setback. witness. State vs..
Geo. McGuiness.. 10
G. w. York. witness. State VS..
Geo. McGuiness. 10
H. C.. Lachnit. witness. State VS..
Geo. NcGuiness. 10
Mark Burke. witness. State VS..
Geo. Nc0uiness. lO
Frank Welch. witness. State VS..
Geo. McGuiness. ~
Chas. Schueth, justice OF peace
costs, State vs.. RatzliR. III
Jos. F. Nun. constable. COSTS
State VI. RatxliR. ........... IL
J.. H. Tobkin. n D.. costs. quar-
antine cases (claimed $3l.sO. ~ w
b. G. walker. n. D.. costs quar-
Snt1n9 cases.
Platte County Independent Tele-
phone Co. service for April. 10 w
Columbus Light, Heat & Power