davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29

weekly" printed some criticisms Of the
claims made for foods. 1t evidently did
no, fancy our reply printed In various news
papers, and brought suit for libel At the trial
some interesting facts came out.
Some Of the chemical and medical experts
differed widely.
The following facts. however. were quite
clearly established:
Analysis OF brain by an unQuestionable au-
thorty, Geoghegan shows Of Mineral Salts.
Phosphoric Acid and Potash combined lPhos
plate OF Potash), POI per cent OF the total,
b33 Of all Mineral Salts.
This is over one-half
Beauns. another authority, shows !Phos-
phorc Acid combined" and Potash 7S.44 per
cent from total Of l0l.o7.
Considerable more than one-half Of Phos-
plate Of Potash.
Analysis OF GrapeNuts shows: Potassium
and Phosphorus. (Which join and make Phos-
phste OF Potash) Is considerable more than
one-half Of all the mineral salts in the food.
DR. Geo w Carey, authority on the con-
stituent elements OF the body, says: The
gray matter of the brain is controlled entirely
BY the inorganic cell-sat. Potassium Phosphate
phosphate OF Potash). This salt unites with
slbumen and by the addition OF oxygen creates
nerve fuid the gray matter OF tho brain.
or course there Is trace OF other salts and
other organic matter in nerve fluid. but Potas
STUN Phosphate Is the chief factor. and has
the power within itself to attract, by Its own
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29
The LEAGUE Of Politeness.

The League Of Politeness has been
formed IN Berlin. II aims at .nculcat-
Ing better manners among the people
OF Berlin /. was founded upon the
Initiative OF Fraulein Cecelie Meyer,
Who was inspired by an existing or
gaaizalion in Rome. In Difference to
the parent organization the Berlin
lea ue has chosen the Italian motto
Pro sen.ilezza. This will be en-
blazone6 upon an attractive Little
medal worn where Germans are &C
customed 20 wear the insignia OF or
ders. The idea IS that glance al
the 'talisman" VIII annihilate any in
clination to Indulge in bad temper o.
diseourieous language Any petite
person" is eligible for membership.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29
vi. Choice

One Of your countrymen, said Miss
Ellen Terry at luncheon in New
York. spoke very bitterly the other
Gay about the divorce habit among the
rich He said that some children in
Newport have FIVE and six fathers He
vas right. a child with five fathers
IS unfortunate
Miss Terry smiled
But these children, she said, TO
whom the gentleman referred. do not
realize their misfortune while they are
children. for they see very little Of
their fashionable mothers and fathers
heard story about lonely little
Newport hoy whose mother called him
10 her and said:
Robert. your father and are go
ing to separate. With which of US do
you wish to remain
The ICY hesitated, his mother wait
ed anA.ously. and then he replied:
With with the Chauffeur y
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29
Home Thouoh-

IT must have been trighttul.- said
Mrs. BossiF, 70 her husband, who was
in the earthquake. TELL ne what
was Your first thought when you
awakened in your room at the hotel
and beard the alarm"
Ny first thought was OF you," az
swerei ,dr. BossiIn.
How noble.'
Yes. First thing knew, vase OF
the nantel caught me on the ear;
then chair whirled in my direction,
AID when | Jumped to the middle OF
the room four or FIVE books and a
framed picture struck me all a. once. >
Even after saving that, he aTec- ed
70 wonder what made her SO angry FOR
the remainder Of the evening Mack 5
National Monthly.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29

tssrk or ceaversa. onai soprano,
- same. .s.s.s overheard II tie cars
s-srs tTom 4 greun 81 young persons
V TO have taken he train a, ore O.
or g.ss. .adust-sa. cen.ers. for in
stance. yong persons Of the female
seS, We viii say. Who have BUSTED in
I'll dressed. engaged IN loud. str!dent
speech, and VITO, after free discussion.
have d1ad on two or more double
seats, which having secured. they pro
Esd 70 Is. aF.s.es and hand round
aagaerTsoty7ss-I say. think the
sensational Soprano. heard under
.asse circun1 stances. would not be
zacag tie ailq-ese,sts tie cid enemy
would II, in recuisit.oa were he get
ing Up a rev temptation OF ST. Al.
thoay.
There are svee, voices among Us,
We al know. and voices not musical
il say he. 10 those who hear them
tor tie first time, yet sweeter to US
than any-we shall hear until We listen
10 some wa-blirs angel in the over
tire 20 that eternity OF blissul har
monies we hore % enjoy But why
shoGid tell i.ese II ny friends love
ne il IS because l Try to tell the
.ru.A. never heard but two voice;
in NY life tia. frightened ne by taeil
sweetness Holmes.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29
rad Mercy in lunps.

Charles H Rosenoe of Bavaria
had Jumps on his shoulders, elbows.
and hips when he arrived here from
Ham burg on the kaise-in Auglste v.c.
tora In fact, there was a series o.
smaller Jumps along his spine. much
like a mountain range, asi IS present
ed on bas--elie. nap.
The humps were about the s!1. OF
good oregon APPLES. and as Rcser.
berg passed before the INN grafton
doctor for observation. the Doctor said
softly TO himself. See tia. LUMP
Then he asked Mr.. Rosenberg lc s.e7
aside
You seem Ike healthy nan
said the doctor. but cannot pass yoc
until know the origin Of .aose Jumps
on your body Al. j. IS rot a SIX
ness" laughed the man from Bavaria
Those swellirgs IS money
Taking of his coat tie broke open
sample lump and showed -ha, i. coa
tanned $500 IN American bark notes
He informed the doctor tsat lie TAI
| $4,000 in all, with which lie was 20
ing 10 purchase an apple orchard /.
Oregon.
He was admitted to the coun-y.-
New York Tribune.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29

The American Magazine reprints
!eiter which was sent TO the Massa-
ehusests cost OF living commission 1t
goes as follows.
L seems to me that the elimination
II waste is nearly impossible in house
holds Where there are numerous selv-
ants; al least, have found 1t so,
with only one, and the waste rises in
geometrical erosion with the num-
Der en- ployed. i have now been doing
NY Own cooking for nearly year and
l feed my family twice as we'll on
about two-thirds the cost A large
part of the saving comes in the eco
no,nical use OF meat. make de-
licious dinner with a few scraps Of
meat that a cook would give to the
dog.
Then depend a good deal on
soups, which | invent to suit my
larder. A few cold baked beans, with
a little tomato and bit Of meat on a
bone, or little left over gravy. make
a soup that all eat with much pleasure
and 1t is so nourishing that 1t goes far
to make the dinner Most people do
not understand how different soup
is when it has simmered good many
hours The soup that has been boiled
i fast a couple OF hours will taste nat
and uninteresting. whereas the same
soup five hours later will have such
a delicious blend OF favors that all
you know is that it is nice without
being able to distinguish the ingre
dents Again 1t is time that counts
Cooks waste the coffee and tea hor
rihly Mix the coffee with cold water
the night before with an eggshel
and bring it to boil in the morning
and you do not need a great deal fol
a good cup of coffee The tea in the
kitchen is piled into the teapot ant
thrown out with but little OF the good
ness extracted. Another frightfu
waste !s the coal. use less thar
half as much as any girl ever hat
and my stove bakes better. neye
complain of the draught, as she doe
Or did after burning all the goodnes
out of her coal in the first hour afte
ighting
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29
Fidelity to Parole,

Judge Grain OF the Court @. -,
e-sl Sessions has just hels
ton more worthy OF note taaa =,
ball, banquet o. other high .11
Of TIE season. Il was held !.
courtroom at night In respa-s= !:
IS summons came IL asn a..
En-, sole old, some yong ever I.
OF .sol vas a veto. ore. so-s= t1
Q. temptation; en e1anrle Il Il
human faith can do 10 he.p za.
weakness to redeem ..se.. al i.
strong
Each Of the company had bee. aaa
v.o.ed 0. some frs. o.sls= sgs -
tie az. aad each had been rz--.t-@ 4.
% SO out on parole o. sl-l-= ~ !:
he1ay.or. Each had kept re .z.:.:a.
Tie word was as good as s
TAose VITO nigh, have gone t9x1 :.
re stuggle hsa found 2 way = :.
sad fga, again. -hey we're a. {.
70 -epo-: good work done a-l 81,
l-os7ec.s ahead
Tine Vas WIEN no ore was /!
on his word save men Q. a:ge deg !.
Esee..,v 10 parole vas dee-s .
r-incsly v.--ue. Pe-ha2s il s 7s
vas aoiA.-g II Judge Csa.as = !,
Ton 70 dtsproye IL
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29
M Slam fnr La.

Slip ne a brace OF csckles." or
dered the chesty-looking man With
bored air, as he perctei on tie frs.
stool in the lunchroom
= WHAT" asked the waitress. as
she placed a glass OF water before
him
Adam and Eve fat on their backs.
A pair Of sunnysiders'" said the young
man in an exasperated tone.
You got me, kid returned the
waitress. "Watcha want9"
Eggs up" said the young man
Eggs, the kind that come before
the hen or after, never knew which ;"
Why didn't you say so in the first
place." asked the waitress. You'd a
had en- by this time"
Well, of all things" said the
young man.
Il knew what he was dsivin' at all
the time" began the waitress as the
young man departed But he's one
of them fellers that thinks they can
get by with anything. He don't know
that they're using plain English now
IN restaurants
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29
Why Ae Lsuahed.

Mis-. Matte belonged 10 the old
south, and she was entertaining q
guest of distinction
On the morning following his arrival
she told Title. The little co.ossd mad,
% lake q pitcher Of fresh water 70
NJ E'irnsns roam. and 10 say iha:
Miss Matte sent him her co.lpl!-p e1-s.
and that II lie wanted a hath, the
bathroom was at lis service
When Tile returned SIZE said:
! .ol him, Miss Matte. en- be
laughed al 20 bus hsssel."
Why aid he laugh. T.!l.e?"
4 dez1o'
What did you tell him"
jos what ye- tol' me TO-"
Title. tel re exactly what .ou
said "
i hanged &c doah, and said, MI
Es.nan. Miss Matte sends you her llh
ard she says. Now yol can set u
and wash yoselt.. Liapiaeoits Mag
aZ.re
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29
Mosiem rraditi,ns.

Rsmadaa is the month exalted by
Mosisals above all others. IN that
month the according TO Mos
lem tsadlaon-was brought down by
Gabriel from heaven aud delivered 70
men n small sections. In that month,
ahmed was accustomed TO retire
from Mecca to the cave Of Hira, for
prayer and meditation. In that month
Abraham. Moses and other prophets
received their divine revelations. In
that month the doors OF heaven are
slwavs open, the passages to he'll are
saut, and the devils are chained" So
run tie traditions The Christian
Herald
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29
Where He Was Queer

The negro, on occasions, c
i1e discrimination II TIE q
words.
Who's tie best vh.ts-ws
town? ?" inquired the new rese-
Ale Hall an a bond ats.
wh:.awas,l brush, sab arsasr
colo-ed patriarch eloQueat:
Well. tell him to co.e an:
wash ny chicken house iouosrc7
Uncle Jacob shook his lea4
oGsly.
Al don believe, sab, AID
s.e Hall to whitewash ca
rouse. sab
WAy, didn't you say ae
Whitewater?
Yes. sab, a powerful sooa
washer. sab; but mighty quee-
. chicken house. sab, mighty
,aack's National Moa.1iy
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29
New Process Q. s.ziai-a cs..

The art OF colosing s.sss h4s
lost and re.ourd. ies'o-ss
and maiiciously stoisn So msa !:
II the history Q. o.vila,lca ma 4
seems almost inpossieie . say
hing new on glass staining ~ 1
Process has been discovered -
King the stained glass Used il viz
Which IS a departure from
Known at the presen. the Aas
Neneuans ard the Pho-oieis-s
Of It We cannot tell.
The glass frs, receives IL d. :
mineral colors and the whole s
fred in hea. so intense na. a9
oring matter and the g,ass s-4 ;
so.uhly fused TIE most {.
:sa.ure OF this method Is .ha, 4e ;
tace acquires q peculiar pea3ea e1a7
accsr IA the heat, so that vss /.
glass Is IN Place the ligh.s a-e DE- )
t-.ly sot, and mellow.
IN making large window 4 ~,
shades each panel Is separately No !.
20 and bert and the sections are .
ss15led IN q metal frame
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29
AS To Our Sense of Hur1or

So, too. man in Lawrencehurg, Ind.
laughed for 70 hours over the dca.
OF trading mule for shaved tail
horse
A sense Of humor is often safey
valve to human beings Life would
be duh thing without it, but its
manifestations are beyond estimation
A recent writer speaks of the FIRE
auency with which 1t spoils the most
pathetic scenes at the theater: of how
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29
Enanamx

The late former Governor A
Gambler OF Georgia was ta =
the south for his quaint hano-
Governor Gambler said 4 :.
vile man, once abandoned e.g
a pipe at the beginning OF Tie
He stuck to his resolve till Il. 5s- +;
end Then he was heard 70 sal
by actual calcula .ca, IVA
saved by smoking q pipe irs.-a 4.
cigars this year sos. 81. VI
to-"
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29

that which should incite pity is mis-
aiken by the thoughtless for subject,
Of mirth The criticism is deserved,
INT ii is to be doubted if 1t will cor
Fect misplaced sense of humoI
Nn}eh seems TO be inherent in con
siderable portion of the human race.
/ There Is no accounting for taste
/ even IN matters of this sort, and there
IS no Way 10 prevent grave and rev.
3eiN'ia IArls's or mule traders from be
4 coming victims Of an undeveloped OF
q 700 greatly developed sense O
huus~
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29

=
.,a -as- s The TNa. q: y!ew
vAs exaggerated sAs taoae1. Ire i
-s:-,s psas srssse : gsas-al
:. lasss- a15 Mss Nsail1sa says
the grez =, is41es cle
- il college Il Intelligent. IL
ses : a.eas .ossls opal franchise
g,s = ls-.iell4r - she SAYS
As-e : 70 US 4 Saving These things
81 saes = saca n -,racs because
- usksr = j daes1, believe i
amsa s1a=e auy1w
Mss Re,a Fges. vito took AZ
.ctlse interest II lie woneas sui
t7ase cause Al Eassar. lad read tie
s:a-ensr, o: Professor T9.a agi.s. and
declared NE ozly ;aslg yal eo4ld say
n sch Z. MAJ VAS tAat ae didn't
aow what * Vas alstag shout, ana
lat tie fats dieot tea- him OF.
college woIeE have amounted &c
'Asrg. Az DC SAD Miss Presley
Ite legle ot saving that any girl
dcssa. alnais1t 70 anything Jest be-
cause sae isn't married. OF that sim
ply because she Ism. married she Is q
is9eaa cen. see
College Esperience Valuable.
Another Cleveland si-l. who recent
y graduated from Smith. holds the
opinion that college ought 70 make
| girl more normal She's been hav-
ing all sorts Of things happen TO her
IN those four ysa-s, ste said, and
/ she ought 70 be less f-eak.sh. Ii any
hing. because she's had so much valu-
able experience she herself is stay
ing At home since graduating and in
addition 10 helping her mother about
| he house ard in entertaining. she has
/ found tine for some social settlement
| work and holding library classes.
Many other Cleveland girls who
have been graduated from college are
| living what seems to be perfectly
1 normal existence at home, taking
i much interest in ordinary affairs and
| Tow and then entering iIto charitable
work Of some kind
In the old days teaching school war
practically the only way in which ar
educated woman could earn living
] Nowadays while many professions are
/ open 10 her, she still chooses this ca
reer In preference to any other, al
| though the proportion of graduates i
clainls is net as large as formerly
1t was never easier than 1t is toda,
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29
eeononv /, A.

%, course said M. s.rIes
4 want my daughter 10 have
sort OF an artistic education.
I'll have her study singing
Why not art or literatl-a
Art spoils canvas and pas ;.
literature wastes reams G.
Singing merely produces a tsnT
disturbance Of the atmos phs.e
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29
~. 6ga-less he g7a1. majority {
,ts-r t..e epilssv degrees

~ ess he s7aa. majority Of
item a-ye collsse degrees
tbs IS s varied ss,. og: those cccu-
Ya.s0rss are calling more and mora
college graduates The chances are
Ia, .sscs.as vii always call a large
proportion. ne. only becau i IS a
natural Profession for = woman Of
scholarly tastes. but because Of the
eng vacations which are denied 10
women n ota-. Professional AXIS OF
.ite
s. it would seem IA. ne college
woman. whether Size decides 70 enter
;he sSa,e OF natr.aony or rot, gets a
coed ceal on. of life Married, she
has her husband and her home; IN
married, ste has ar Interesting pro
fession But verify. The world has
changed considerably since the days
/ CT Romeo and Juliet
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29
II. County churohxard.--

These who recall Gras's "Elegy IN
a Country Chu-ehya-d" will remembe.
tia, the peaceful spot where the
rude .osetathers Of the hamlet sleep"
IS identified with St Giles. Stoke
Foges. Baokingh In the pro
sale RACES Of recent Issue OF the
Gazette here appears an order in
eoaacil PROVIDING tina, ordinary inter.
nsn,s are hencetorlh forbidden IN the
ohgsehyard
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29
1t Surely Was

Mighty smart boys are often found
among the little chaps who are sent to
the detontou school. remarks The
Cleveland Leader. Not long ago Miss
Claire Walters. the teacher, explained
TO the boys over there the meaning of
the word paradox Give me an ex
annie, boys she said. after the long
lesson One tiny fellow put up his
hand Go on and tell us. Jimmie"
said ihc teacher. Well he said,
my Hapa was in the war and he used
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29
Intentional Binding.

Intentional binding to escape
conscription for the army is still met
In Egypt. The means employed are
either tie placing OF hot needle on.
the cNrnea, producing a dense white
leucoma. or puncture often involy-
ing the lens. or By the Introduction
Of lime or an trritant vegetable juice
in the eyes
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29
Hard on the Mare.

Twice. as the bus Slowly VS..
way up the steep Cumberland ca.
door at the rear opened aai san
At first those inside paia i..e
but the third tine denandes =
Why they should be d.stsEbei
fashion.
Whist" cautioned tse
doau't spake SO loud; she.
US"
Who"
The mare. s7ake low ssrs
desavia th' cray;u-e. I-serrs
she ears tn door close Sic
Won O. yez Is gett.n dom -
up III hill, an that sort q
s2srr!ts. "-Succes. Mag4zlae
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29
InsnAs 4, surr. cerk.

Sl,sA is.s lie ee-ored race Is q
7o-.n IL Ne from: FAST whispered
Innocent Ireie Hiram. a. the wade
vile shoN. IS the hlacS-sace comedian
vas sass,e7oasly a9plauded
ysS. indeed. smiled he city man;
~sa,oae car see ,ha; that fellow IS
SCI: made negro.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29
Lacked Atmosphere.

Z did hope for an artistic career,
said the disappointed looking man.
but ! net with difficulties could not
conquer What needed was atmos-
phere." Il see,; the same old trouble.
What were you-an author or a paint
err" Neither was learning to
play the trombone. but l was natural
ly short OF breath
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29

Life Wouid Be Dull Without 1t, But
Its Manifestations Are Beyond
Estimation.
4 dignihea, retired Judge in the
east vas brought near to death late
ly through a fit of laughter caused by
a comparison of woman in hotbie
skirt 10 giraffe with its feet tied 10
gether The possessor of a keen sense
of humor would hardly find this con
vrlsing. hut j. ',eaj-lv killed the judge
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29
Knew VIVA. n Was.

A Wyoming cowboy called to see
Owen Wister In Philadelphia, and vas
permitted to inspect the authors city
outfit AS he casually examined an
opera hat it sprang open. A SELF
cooking hat" said the cowboy. admir-
ingly -Eyerybody's
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29
4 Mealoai Compromise.

Yea had two doctors IN consul;a-
,.oa las, might. dian't you:"
Yes
VIA. ala shey say
We'll. one recommended one thing
ard re other recommended some
thing else
"A deadlock. eh,"
NO. tsey finally told ne to mix
en-.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29


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suo. -s.lt-,l5r.s d smith 4ssz-
wsese7 isryn Nzvr AID Wells are
,,eas iac-easiug Z size Is III
yesrs 70 ~
pore Marty a-r.ors Poor
!, las ssen pointed o.. - census
s,stls.ielans tia; uary more vo1asa
mary among TIE yer. rich c- very
poo- nan IA the middle ass Ot
women N general !, las been con-.
ru-ed that ora GU. Of every ss1 Is
ijyelv 10 remain single l. this CON
rutat.on liz compared VIII that aneng
college women. which students OF Tie
question say IS between 80 and IS pc.
cent lie difference seems ssr.t3r..l CTS
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29
MAKE UP YOUR MIND.

!. yop,n make up your mind 70 be
Cor.s-.esi with YOUR lot
AID vi;A the optiu.sts gree
That trc-a.e's soon forget
you-sl se s.sr7-..es 70 nnd. / Euess.
DESPITE rssto.:u-e's darts.
W.T. coasss.1. springs OF happiness
Lie lid n human hearts.
Wat su-ay slear. ard golden dream,
The passing years uufoid
How ST. and warm the l,vel.gh. beams
Wasn you are growing old
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29
a timely Text.

II you've any Joy to spare don't
lock 1t up for next time while there's
knock at the winter gate. The best
way to roast the world now is be.
fore friendly fire.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-12-29
overze aIous.

q always tell the plain truth" said
the severe woman
You do more. my dear replied
Miss CAYENNE. You are not satisfied
To have II plain You MIKE 1t as ugly
as possibie.''