Los Angeles herald., 1910-12-11
CANNON DOOMED
TAT FT,T0O;BUTI IT'S
BY GRID|RON CLUB
Noted Washington Newspaper
mems Organization Makes
Great Men Butt of Jest
MISS DEMOCRACY MILITANT
Annual Banquet of Correspon-
dents Attended by Presi-
dent and Other Leaders
MISS DEMOCRACY MILITANT
IAssociated Pressl

WASHINGTON, Dec. 10.-Politics,
past, present and future was the dom
inant note at the annual fall dinner of
the Gridiron club tonight. President
Taft was there with members of his
cabinet; Vice President Sherman, SEN
ators and representatives in congress,
latent presidential possibilities, newly
elected governors of states and men of
mark In various positions and of all
shades of political belief and am
bassadors and ministers plenipoten-
tiary of foreign countries, who were
numbered among the clubs guests,
heard with wonder the good natured
grilling administered by the newspaper
men to their victims. With tableaux
and comedy sketch and topical song, in
clever speech and moving picture, the
incidents OF the last campaign were re-
called and grim forecast made of the
future.
All right wittily and with many
scintillating thrust of oratory did the
objects of this attention retort upon
their tormentors. Forgotten for the
moment were party differences; victor
and vanquished Joined hand and glove
In repelling the attack of their critics.
Clearing the way for the incoming
Democracy, "Uncle Joe" Cannon was
swept aside and In skit embodying
parody upon the mikado he was SEN
fenced to decapitation. 1t was left to
him to select his executioner. Victor
Murdock, he declared, was "too hasty,"
while he feared Senator LaFolette
would talk him to death.
TAFT REsCUEs CANNON
The man he selected as of strong
arm and sure, an old friend, was 'ko
10" Longworth. Just in the nick of
time President Taft, in the person OF
the mikado, stayed the hand of the
executioner and commuted Uncle
Joe's" sentence to staying in congress
as helpless minority and to being
chained to his seat during the debate
on the house rules.
A furious, cracking of whips and
clanking of chains and roar of "Ged-
dap" ana stamping of hoofs signalized
the approach of tumultuous party
from the outside. 1t portrayed the re-
demption of Champ Clark's famous
prediction pledge to ride down Penn
sylvania avenue behind team OF
mules if he were elected speaker. The
actor who represented Mr.. Clark was
clothed in farmers costume, with big
whip, oVeralls, wide felt hat and hick-
ory shirt He was riding a wheeled
cart, cracking his whip and shouting
at his mules. Dragging behind in
heavy chains were Cannon, Dalzell and
Payne.
Ollie James introduced Clark as the
new speaker, and the latter promptly
sentenced his prisoners to various pun
ishments, such as the assignment OF
Cannon to the chairmanship of the
on disposition of useless pa
per-" (where the Aldrich- Payne-Smoot
tariff was consigned), while Payne and
Dalzell were to be trampled by Ollie
James. Clark undertook to define his
l~,.k Ia1 AfaIxy n
point where he declared for free trade
when the party broke UP in row.
DEMOCRACY NOW MILITANT
Few of the guests at first could rec
ognize the dainty little lady, Miss
Democracy" In the brawny, big-mus-
cled, large wasted and bass-voiced fe-
male in evening dress who occupied in
solitary state the place of honor on the
Democratic band wagon, which drew
up on the stage. Hanging on were va
rious candidates for the presidential
office, but Miss Democracy, while coy,
was also firm in her attitude and pre-
sented face Of flint to her suttors.
She announced that she was no simper-
ing old maid, but was militant; that
she was taking this joy ride for the
first time in sixteen years, and had
chartered it for quite spell, too. When
the president sought to expel her she
defied him, saying that he talked "like
T. r. before election day."
At the critical moment Governor
Judson Harmon came to the rescue
and climbed into the band wagon.
When his right was challenged he de-
clared that he was the logical candi-
date, the friend of the masses, and
the classes were friends of his. But
Miss Democracy decided that he would
have to wait for two years to see what
could be done with a Democratic
legislature, so Harmon climbed down.
Dix, Judge Baldwin, Foss, Woodrow
Wilson, Kern and Folk met a similar
fate. Bryan was not even allowed to
set foot on the wagon step. Soon wan
street. personified by portly gentle
man in silk hat and wearing much
jewelry, settled the matter by drag
ging off Miss Democracy with the
declaration that II am the person who
will decide who'll ride on that wagon