davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-01
INTERVENING IN NICARAGUA

The benevolent attitude OF the Unit
ed States had never before taken on
any evidences of an intention or be-
coming paternal, whether or not the
smaller republic desired to be adopted,
administered or assimilated. AS it Is,
a precedent for armed Intervention on
any pretext has been established. and
between the right of intervening in
the government Of an independent
country and debating the policy Of a
dependency there does not seem much
to choose All the little attendant diff
ficulties. however, are not yet disposed
Of Estrada has not completely tri-
umphed, though Madriz is unqualified
w defeated. Certain formalities can
not we'll be abrogated, and one OF
them is the holding OF an election
within six months to choose success
sor TO the fugitive president. II an
ungrateful populace refuse TO elect
the candidate most grateful 10 he
United States government as well as
to certain American financial interests
which have large investments in
Nicaragua. will Secretary Knox con
slider that a sufficient excuse for again
landing troops and marines and seiz-
ing customs houses ?-Montreal Star.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-01
THE BOSSES HE is HITTING.

Theodore Roosevelt announces that
he will give the New York bosses all
the fighting they want. He will hit
them?
Mr.. Woodruff was made chairman
OF the Republican state committee 70
succeed Mr.. Odell at the behest cf MI
Roosevelt.
Mr.. Barnes was made surveyor OF
the port at Albany by Mr.. Roosevelt.
Mr.. Merritt was appointed post
master at Washington and collector at
Niagara Falls by Mr.. Roosevelt
Mr.. O'Brien was made collector at
Plattsburg by Mr.. Roosevelt.
Mr.. Hendricks. OF Syracuse, was
made superintendent cf insurance by
Gov. Roosevelt.
Mr.. Ward was made a member OF
the Republican national committee
with Mr.. Roosevelt's approval and
consent.
Mr.. Wadsworth, whom Mr. Roose
welt created speaker OF the assembly
Is new recruit in the company OF
Ward. Merritt, O'Brien, Hendricks
Barnes, and Woodruff, the bosses
WuOIu MI. IOOSSNCib hoFdhCCo Ou tuc
road to power.
Mr.. Roosevelt Is practical man
He was never asked TO smash the ma
chine in this state before, nor even to
refrain from patronizing its leaders
Now there is a great popular cutlery to
down them and to smash their ma
chine. He expects to down and
smash. We hope he will succeed
New York Times.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-01
English Horribly Misspoke"

Continuing our learned observa-
lions on words that seem as much
alike as Siamese twins, and yet are
no nearer than forty-second cousins
we grapple with the following speci-
mems:
ABSTINENCE, TEMPERANCE
These words are generally applied to
the use OF liquor, and even in a sober
mind are involved in some confusion
The confusion naturally increases
when two moons appear where only
one was before. and the world starts
to revolve rapidly from northeast to
southwest. Then the intellect is in
no condition to appreciate the fact
that an "abstainer" Is one who doesn't
drink at all, and temperate man
Is one who drinks In moderation.
Temperance" may permit bottle on
the sideboard and keg In the cellar;
but abstinence" or total abstinence
is the implacable foe of the Demon
Rum. even though he disguise himself
as brandy sauce for a plum pudding.
CRIME, SIN. VICE-"Crime" Is the
violation OF the law OF particular
country: "sln" Is the violation OF a
religious law: vice" is a habit or
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-01

course of action that is harmful 4
the actor. 1t Is a crime" in AmeriL
to combine in restraint OF trade. !.
Is a sin" for a Mohammedan
drink wine. Understanding is
vice" An act may belong In N,
OF these three classes without beloI.
ing in either of the other two.
DEPOT, STATIONARY do Anne,
leans persist in calling station" !,
depot? Probably for the same rel
son that they think they ought to ca,
a vase" "vawse." The word I'd,
pot" is French, meaning repository
warehouse and in France is new
used for railway station" We migT
call a freight house a "dee-po" (,
"deppo" or "daypo," varying the pr
nunciation according to our taste {
environment; but why call a pa.
senger station" by any other nag
than station?
AMATEUR, NOvICE-They're nj
necessarily the same. Rose PitonF
is all amateur swimmer" but not
novice" in the art of swimming. -
amateur" Is any one who Is no.
professional In his special field OF y,
tivity; novice" Is mere be.
ner
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-01

There was an lrishman coming
down a ladder with hod OF skicks,
he said, land a Dutchman was stand
ing on the ground below. The Irish
man fell on the Dutchman and killed
him. Accident? Never. IL the Dutch
man hadn't been there the freshman
would have been killed. Why didn't
the Irishman fall on a dog which was
next to the Dutchman? Because the
dog would have seen him coming
Then he'd get off from the Dutch
man to an uncle named Reginald VIII
son. Reginald went into carpet fac
tory one day and got twisted into the
machinery's belt. He went excursion.
ing around the factory until he was
properly distributed and was woven
into 90 yards OF the best three-ply car
pet. His wife bought the carpet, and
then she erected monument TO his
memory. 1t read:
And SO on he would handle about
telling the story of his grandfather
until we never were told whether he
found the 10-cent piece or whether
something else happened.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-01

I'm going along like an old man !
used TO know who used to start 10 zen
a story about his grandfather. He ha1
am awfuily retentive memory, and ne
never finished the story, because ne
switched on into something else. he
used TO tell about how his grand'alhcr
one day went into pasture Wh@.e
there was a ram. The old man Drop.
ped a silver dime In the grass anu
stopped oveg TO pick IL up. me ram
was observing him ana took the ola
mans action as an Invitation.
Just as he was going TO finish aoont
the ram this friend OF mine woulu 70
call that his grandfather had a niece
who had "a glass eve. She usei ~
loan that glass eye &c another lazy
friend who used it when she receives
company. The eye didn't ut tne
friends face, and 1t was loose. Anu
whenever she winked 1t would turn
over.
Then he got on the subject OF nc
cidents. and he would tell story
about how he believed accidents never
happened.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-01
A POSSIBILITY.

In the old days, when oral examin'
ations were still the thing, an examan-
ing board was pommelling an appli-
cant with questions from Blackstone,
Kent and other legal lights. Il didh
study anything about these Fellows
complained the applicant.
What did you STUDY asked one
OF the judges.
81 studied the statutes OF the state,
he replied. II studied them haru.
Ask me a question about them ana III
show you. That Is where l got my
legal knowledge.
MY young friend" said one austere
Judge on the examining board, you
had better be very careful, Tor some
day the legislature might meet and
repeal everything you know Judge
The Gentle Art.
In her trim little bathing suit she
sat on the white sand.
II adore intelligence" she cried
so do l." said he. "All the same,
though, beauty and intellect never go
together"
And do you think me intellectual
she faltered.
NO" he confessed, frankly.
With faint blush che murmured,
'Flatterer,"-Ios Angeles Examiner.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-01
Little Boobies Pa
BY WILLIAM r. KIRK.

1t is a CRATE thing to be abel to rite
letters of luz. Pa sed to Ma last mite.
But 1t is a awful thing to have them
letters sent up to the eighth floor.
What do you mean by the eighth hoor?
sed Ma. ! mean the composing room
WHARF the printers work. Let me ex-
plain the process to you, sed Pa. The
letters are typed on the seventh floor
by one Cd of them gallant re-write
men, & then the letters go up to the
printers. Some poor sad faced print
er witch hasn't won the printers pool
the week befoar, sets down in front
of a type-setting machine, a this is
what he prints:
Deer Honey Bug: am sitting alone
tonite, down here on Staten Island.
| need you at my side. Nobody seems
to understand me. not even the wait
er. He brought me dark beer insted
OF lite. -
think II Is terribul mistaik for
anybody TO write letters, sed Ma, II the
letters are about luv. know | wrote
you sum letters befoar we was wed,
but ! am glad TO say thare was not
a line in one OF them that | wuddent
show the whole world.
Well, sed Pa, am pretty sure the
whole world wuddent care TO look at
them. But these letters witch | am
speaking about was wrote by man
not q woman. | cannot understand
why a man wud rite letters that makes
him out to be a boob. Sum day, sed
Pa, am going TO get my friend Frank
Condor. the story ritter, to rite story
about a man wich rites sweet letters
10 his CURL, & the end Of the story will
be that she can't see him with spy
glass. For instans, sed Pa, this wud
be one Of the letters:
Deerest: This is the first day of
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-01

September a. I feel sad & pensive.
am setting on settee, you darling
Yes, that's jest what am doing, SCI
ting on settee. am looking o
over the lake. thinking OF you an,
yure kisses. The settee is very hare
but my heart heats soft for you.
That sounds like OF of your letters
sed Ma. II is kinf OF mushy. !,
Well. sed Pa. II you doan't like thf
letter, lissen to this one:
My own: | am alone In my librgx
tCnite. Ii seems that the better ~
ture in me is leeping TO the surfs 4
tonlte, madly. passhunateIy, as ii
Graw wud leep at a umpire. Perha l
you wonder why luv you with sreI.
passhunate luv. | do not know VII,
myself. All | know Ii that from TIL
moment YOU crossed my path u
saw ynre -four face, | bec:.ir 4 differ
ent man | know You will remind MAJ
that | lave wife. cinnof fno Il
in my Eeart TO blame you for that. FL
the wife have Is not a wife wich b.
lamps like yures. She does not under
stand me, my own. She Is Norvy
gian. & | am a Swede. Goodnite, in
own.
Well, sed Ma. do you think that u
a better letter than the other one?
do, sed PA. II is moar soulful lii ,
& convincing. II any one Of the guft
that we both know happened to s I!
letter like that. | am almost sst!
that she wud fall for il, e. beecum u
wife, always providing, of course, tn;
I so forgot myself as TO git divors
from you. There is nothing so CO
vincing as good letter, sed Pa. ~
All right. sed Ma, am going =
write you one tomorrow, & will ma !
IL to you on the way TO the train.
am going hoam to mother. :
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-01
HIS FAvORITE.

Which is your favorite Wagnerlan
opera?" asked the musician.
"Lemme see" said Mr. Cumrox, ap-
peallng to his wife There are sew
eral that never heard yet, aren'
there2"
Yes
We'll. | reckon it's one Of them.
Washington star.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-01
The Modern Viewpoint.

Here" solemnly said the Boston
ian. General Warren fell"
So" replied the gentleman. from
Chicago. running speculative eye up
and down the perpendicular Bunker
Hill Monument Must have been a
swell subject for a moving picture
act. Puck.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-01
Gems of Wit, Wisdom and Humor
ROBERT FULTON.
BY SAMUEL L. CLEMENS. Mark Twain.)

From meeting aid of the Robert Fulton
Mr.
paid plat
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-01
Ms Do Their
Tuesday, There's
Need Of the Recall
Gogy Good Citizen Who Re-
y ~ Home On Primary Day
- u Counted For Incom-
oteney and Corruption
" Ii Government.

of
"a government their own franchise and amend its
result in Of public official
II y prove up the trust to which elected
nds provision made possible for them to
nv such public official plain spoken about it, to DIS
t1GR FIRE him
possible people servant
whom they dspeased you for the place
ne going to pay you of and let co.
would do the Of empoye
- failed to up to requirements.
The proposition convention which fact
sore disappointment good citizens the
Nevertheless favorable consideration, the
onsderate enough leave of the rights under
h living time and which will exercise next
kssday
Upon that day many present public will ask to
&l1sr into contract with the people of the state
upon day citizens who DESTROYS
will do well and remember
they didn't get and proceed NEXT BEST THING
CHANGING party they will find their
~ names upon long connected
M the public would have been pleased upon
walking papers PROBABLY VOTED FOR
= FAILED TO GO AND VOTE AGAINST AT THE PROPER TIME.
we have termed these citizens good citizens"
They stand for clean government
They WANT clean government.
They voice their protests newspapers
corruption They cnch their fists and declare the
Ill should be turned out"
AND THEN THEY FORGET ALL ABOUT IT.
That il the object Of the recall
IA Under il these citizens could act BEFORE THEY FORGET
Ana purpose today REMIND them.
on NEXT TUESDAY THEY WILL STAND WITH THE PRIVILEGE
THE RIGHT TO RECALL.
II viii be their privilege say whom they
identity with ncompetency the public affairs WE DO NOT
MN Y0U ANY LONGER"
~ they win be able effect HAD IT NOT BEEN
- YOUR CONTRACT WE WOULD HAVE DISMISSED YOU LONG
The favored the adoption of the recall for the
their sufficient the result Of the primaries on
Tuesday declaration for better order of things public
Michigan and in the national government
welfare Michigan Patrick Kelley deserves to be
governor by Republican Tuesday
The Kelley warnerm
wARNERSM the thing
ne would have given the
xand bounce.
W M. Kelley part Of the Warner administration.
He vouchd defended
1xnp years ago.
has stripes Jackson and the warden of that
<tson has become prisoner in another
Kelley and therefore
u warnerism
We said before that the sentiment which
knt sgnifed great
ough hold the balance of in the primaries Tuesday
All necessary for these citizens TO GO TO THE POLLS
WARNERISM has always gotten its support from GOOD CITIZENS
WHO REMAINED AT HOME VOTING
The time for like rebuke would have been contained the
every identified with
And Tuesday Sept. 8, is the day and the date
The Of morows should that buke duly administered
good citizenship registered the
Osborn because he stands directly opposed
of strength
Of his great ability aggressive temperament
n.y. by principles for which he stands
vote for against Wanerm by direct
enge Kelley the protege Of Warner and wanerim
psnuh licaua the thausand aafa
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-01
LIVING UP TO 1T.

gentleman
IS a lieutenant
on That accounts waving street the OF
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-01
OH. THE WITTY SCAMP,

Dear me. | wish knew something to get for the Ii
Try bees.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-01

There was strong demand made
upon the constitutional convention
in 1908 for a reform measure known
ss the recall"
! Had the convention heard this
demand, the people of tho state
would have been vested with the
right and power to review the act of
their own franchise and amend its
result in case of public official
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-01

This is the kite
That was chased by the dog
That belongs TO the boy called Bill,
Who has had a long summers rest.
Gold was first coined in America
in 1892.
Arizona republican., 1910-03-20
AT THE CHURCHES.

Latter-Day Saints-There will be the regular services, beginning with Sunday school in the morning at the Mesa opera house. Afternoon services at , o'clock. under the direction of Bishop Horne NJ. I. A. in opera house at : in the evening.
 Methodist Church-Sunday school at l0 o'clock. Preaching at II. the morn ing theme being The Prodigal Son" The Epworth league will meet at : o'clock. and church will convene at &. the evening discourse being on The Power of Name
 Episcopal Church-The members of the Episcopal church and all others who care to attend, are cordially invited to attend the Episcopal services. which will be held in the K. of F. hall at in the evening. if the electric lights are on If impossible to use electricity, the services will be held at , o'clock in the afternoon. the Rev. J. w. Atwood officiating.
 Baptist-George Young will lead the Sunday school at 10 in the morning. Preaching at II. by the Rev. C. Sid ney Maddox. on Why Do You Live?" At the young people meet. and at there will be services. the subject of the sermon being Honest to God.
Arizona republican., 1910-03-20
LODGE RESOLUTIONS.

Whereas, Our esteemed sovereign councillor commander. A. E. Obarr, has been called from Mesa Camp No. ' by death. and.
 Whereas. We. the members of Mesa camp. appreciating the loss of one who was ever faithful in the dis charge of his duty as man and brother. and that his death is a loss to the camp. to his family and to the community; therefore. be it
 Resolved. That we extend to the be- reaved family our sympathy in their great sorrow: that the charter of the camp be draped in mourning for a period of thirty days; and, be it fur ther
 Resolved. That a copy of these reso- lutions be spread upon the minutes of the camp. a copy be mailed to the family Of deceased and copy hereof be published in the newspapers.
 Wm. NEWELL,
 F. S CRANDALL,
 J. w. CONNELLY.
Arizona republican., 1910-03-20

From the above, taken from the Mesa Free Press. it will be seen that this town was of the opinion that the eXcursioniSts would not be here. Fur thermore, this continued tO be the only information up until o'clock. when the information was 'phoned over from the NJ X P. offices that the excursion would probably he here at i. o'clock Saturday. It was impossible to get the information to the various committeeman and owners of machines and especially was il more so on ac- count of the half-hearted manner in which this news was sent out.
 As a matter of fact, Mesa did moi believe that the Los Angeles excur- sion would visit this place until the train Whistled in yesterday morning
 The matter was taken up with MT Cater representing the railroad com pany. and he made the statement that the excursion was q special train ana that the railroad had no hand in mak- ing the itinerary.
 Mir Wiggins. secretary of the Los Angeles chamber of commerce, who is the official in charge of the itiner- ary, or rather in announcing any change in the itinerary, said: 'l pos itively and absolutely gave out no in formation that this excursion would not come to Mesa and Tempe. l also wired Mesa yesterday that We would be here on schedule time
 It must be said that the telegram has never been received by any mem Der of the chamber of commerce at this place. or any one connected with the reception committee.
 It is not believed at this place that the Los Angeles people are responsible for the false rumors circulated here Friday afternoon. The blame has been placed elsewhere.
Arizona republican., 1910-03-20
NEWS NOTES.

Joe Bush was a Mesa business vis- itOr yesterday from Phoenix.
 A. F. Plumstead. manager of Weeke's Station, was a passenger on yesterday mornings stage.
 Water was running in the new Eastern canal again yesterday.
 The difference between live and q dead town might have been noticed in Mesa yesterday. During the early morning the town was alive with autos and people. while during the afternoon the streets were nearly de- serted
 Dick Holmes. the popular South Side salesman with Wakelin's. was a regu- lar Mesa visitor yesterday.
Arizona republican., 1910-03-20
Too Happy to Live.

A question now arises. Can a per son. by using ISexine Pills. become too happy to live. No. But a person who feels so weak and nervous that life seems a burden can be made happy by building him or herself up by the use of Sexine Pills. Price $l a box. boxes s5 Address or call Eivey & HuIett, where they sell all the principal rem edies and do not substitute.
Arizona republican., 1910-03-20
ARRIVES FROM EAST.

D. w. Stall arrived yesterday from Thayer. Kas.. with his family. and will make this their future home. Mir. Stall visited Mesa during the winter, and while here purchased the j. T. Coleman desert ranch under the East ern canal. southeast of town MT Stall is expecting to receive his house. hold goods in the near future
Arizona republican., 1910-03-20

road when the auto appeared. The youngsters ran, with the exception of the unfortunate lad. and he did not appear to know which way to turn. His indecision, together with the in decision of the driver of the Stapley car kept the two. undecided as to what the other intended to do. and the col liSiOn occurred
Arizona republican., 1910-03-20
TO PRESENT OPERETTA.

Mrs NJ. C. Phelps for some time has been arranging for the prescnta- ton ot an operetta entitled 'Gyp Junior" Mrs. Phelps will have the assistance of 100 little children.
 Mrs Phelps is an indefatigabie worker in the cause uf music. and Mesa people book upon her pres'.'tit- tinnS cf Gperei;as as above he "rui e nary
Arizona republican., 1910-03-20
ACTIVITY AT HiGCEY.

II. J. Bell of Higley is installing pumping rig which he will operate with burros He is going into the chicken business, and has two incu- ba.ors setting at the present time.
 P B. Werden, also of Higley. is in- stalling a four horsepower Grey mo- tor for pumping He expects to use it for gardening.
Arizona republican., 1910-03-20
DEATH BY uRAEM,c POISON.

Wellington Kitchens has received letter from his brother at Union. Ore, where Mir. and Mrs. Osborn Kitchens resided. to the effect that Mrs. Osborn Richens had come to her death di- rectly on account of uraemic poison A son was born to MT. and Mrs. Rich ems on the day of the mothers death,
 Several children were playing in the
Arizona republican., 1910-03-20
WORE OLD CLOTHES.

County Supervisor Hoghe. who was called to Mesa Friday as witness in the Dr. Hughes case. 1t is rumored has q brand new suit which he wears on the streets of Phoenix. However, according to Assistant District Attor- ney Lyman, Mir. Hoghe wore his third or fourth best suit to this place. rms is not taken to mean, however. that Mir. Hoghe is al all discriminating against Mesa
Arizona republican., 1910-03-20
TAG DAY YESTERDAY.

Yesterday was tag day. There were very few people on the streets or within the corporate limits of the city. for that matter. who did not know that there was some sort Of activity among the children who were respon- sible for the disposal of the w. C. T. IT emhlemS.
Arizona republican., 1910-03-20
ARRESTED FOR FLOODING
 STREETS.

Mrs. Mae Peterson and A. c. Nor jensen were arrested yesterday for flooding the streets. Mrs. Peterson appeared before Justice Irwin and en- tered a plea of not guilty. and her hearing was set for Monday afternoon.
Arizona republican., 1910-03-20
MIND READING CLERKS.

A new duty was thrust upon the clerks at the A. X B. Grocery com rany, when note was handed 10 J. H Allison yesterday. saying: Deer Sir-Send me a bottle of catsup by my little girl and another of some thing with great long name that cn not know how to write"
Arizona republican., 1910-03-20
ON LIGHT DIET.

Averisto Neirara, who was sentenced to serve seven days in the town jail a few days ago. when requested to become a member of the chain gang refused to work. He has accordingly been placed on a diet of bread and water.
Arizona republican., 1910-03-20
TRIP TO ROOSEVELT.

J l.. Waring. Horace ". Lee. NJ. l.. Gibbons and Dr. R. F. Palmer left yesterday for Roosevelt, expecting to he gone until tomorrow
Arizona republican., 1910-03-20
INSTALLING CABLE.

l.. w Richardson of the Consoli- dated Telephone company was in Mesa yesterday. attaching the l00-wire ca ble to the switchboard. Anothsr ca be will be here in q few days
Arizona republican., 1910-03-20
ARM FRACTURED.

Roy. the young son of Mir. 9l'd Mrs. Fred Passey. was brought up town Friday suffering with fractured arm. A fall from tree was the cause of the accident
Arizona republican., 1910-03-20

region. The weather is. in the main. clear over the Rocky mountain region. the Missouri and Ohio valleys. else where cloudiness prevails. High tenn peratures cOntinue over the Rocky mountain region. Fair weather is in dicated for this locality during tonight and Sunday