The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-01-29
GA Problem Farce in One AcD
CASTE OE CHARACTER


Jack Gleason "A Fight Promoter
Tex Richard The Same
Jack Johnson
....A Champion Heavyweight
Jim Jeffries ............ line Same
General Public Representative
of the Sport Fraternity.
Chorus of sportsmen, boosters,
knockers, governors and news
papermen.
Scene-The United States.
OPENING CHORUS.
We are up in the air mile or two
And simply can't get down;
Will they fight in San Francisco,
Or in the Mormon town?
Will they battle near the Great
Salt Lake.
Or down where the boys play
ball?
O, tell us, mighty Allah,
Will they ever battle at all?
ENTER General Public:
Good morning. gentlemen, ! see
YOU are still very much worried
What causes your growls, frowns,
kicks and roars? All, the fight
l
for you. Tex Richard will be here
shortly and he, no doubt, will set
our minds at ease.
Chorus-Rah for Rickard-Rah,
Rah, Rah.
Noise is heard off stage, scarce
~ audible at first but increasing in
volume until it sounds like an au-
tomobile wreck and a boiler fac
tory as it approaches)
General Public-As I live, It's he.
See, he whispers to himself Hence
the noise. Let us give him greet
ing.
CHORUS:
Here's old Tex, the candy kid,
He made the fight, YOU bet he did.
Of honor and courage and coin he's
full
(And we all of us hope he falls for
this bullO
Rickard-Thank you, gentlemen,
thank yau Presently, We'll have a
couple of million bottles of wine
Yes, it's all fixed up. OF course,
the GUY of Utah may try to stop
me with a stingy bunch of state
militia but what care !? If neces-
sary, ! will import the English
army and if that isn't sufficient,
I'll shoot a wire over to my pal,
Emperor Billheim and borrow few
soldier boys from him. With these,
looks like I'm cinch to win de-
cision over Spry, doesn't it?
Rickard-The fight will be held
in Salt Lake. That settles it.
When | say a thing, ! mean it. I've
got the coin. That speaks for it.
self. AS for Jack Gleason, all I can
say is pooh, pooh! Now | will sing:
SONG:
NY name is Texas Richard.
And I'm some fight promoter:
I'll take the big fight where | like,
And it may be South Dakota;
Or North Dakota, | don't care,
For the fight belongs to me;
Gleason is only big four-flush,
But I'm the main squeeze, you
see.
Richard (after applause)-Good-
bve, boys. Drop around to Salt
Lake and see the fight. Good bye.
exit mid cheers of chorus.)
Messenger boy rushes in, hands
General Public telegram. Chorus
gathers around the General. With
nervous haste, he opens, unfolds
message and reads:
"Will be with you in three min
utes. Know you want the low down
and you'll get it.-Jack Gleason"
cat mention of Gleason's name.
the mob impersonates a pack OF
hungry wolves, but Gleason quietly
sneaks on stage. unlit seegar in one
hand and prop" smile in the other.
Comes down stage.)
Gleason (aside)-I see 1t all. Tex
has beaten me to it. Curses!
(Gnashes teeth. la regulation
heavy. shall throw Mark An
thony into them and they will cheer
me, yea, cheeah muh, ere quit
the stage. (He turns to angry
multitudel. Friends, boosters and
knockers, pray calm yourselves.
Have no fear, carry not the dead
" double cross. Tex may have told
you the fight is copper-riveted
cinch for Salt Lake and Tex is an
honorable man. But Tex. my
friends, in the language OF the i'm