davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28
FAST STEAMSHIP RUNS.
New York llyen;ng Sun.

New York Evening sun.
Tho special efforts which are making
to send the Maurctania from England
to America and back again In prodig
iously quick time have naturally raised
good deal of interest not only among
the officers of steamship companies but
in the mind of the general public,which
has grown used to urging quicker and
quicker time oil all public conveyances,
by land and sea, and continually looks
for shorter Roadway and more speed.
Among many Incidents of the Maure-
tanin's record breaking task. a single
instance is sufficiently remarkable. One
of her sister ships. the Baltic. left Liv
erpool on Dec. 10 at 2:30 PM, two hours
ahead of the Mauretania's start toward
New York, arrived here yesterday
morning, after having been passed
three times by the bigger. swifter ship.
The Maurctania had ovcrtaken the Bal
tic before the latter had reached
Queenstown. But the Baltic left that
port before the Mauretania, and the
latter again overhaulcd her at sea-
Then the Mauretan.a sped on, arriving
here on Friday morning, left this port
at pm. on saturday, ana on Sunday
morning. steaming east met the in
coming Baltic and passed her again
That is what. In yachting lingo, Is
sometimes called sailing all around an
other boat.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28
rl.E EDUCATIONAL ASSOCIATIONS.

rho meeting Of tho Utah Educational
association would be justified by two
facts alone. If the meeting of this OK
ccllcnt body needed any justification,
These two facts were alluded to by
the president in his reference to
some school boards throughout the
conutry as unfit ana his statement that
some teachers arc entirely out ot pace
in the schoolroou. The other fact Is
tho statement of Or. Tyler. of Amherst
thut Eastern boys should so to Western
colleges and that Western boys should
90 to Eastern colleges.
The sal, lake Tribune tue to its
policy of Smndoring Utah and hclittlng
everything of which the state Is proud,
this morning announced III glaling,
doublc-column headlines on its front
mage that President Thomas Denounccs
Mnny Trustees and 'renchcrS as UNIT
for their Positions" etc. If this was
meant to convey tho impression that
the speaker denounced Utah school
boards and tcachers,and 1t is safe to con
cludc this was the intention Of the paper,
we need only say that he did nothing
OF tho kind. Utah school boards and
teachers, as n rule, arc far above the
average.
The Tribune did not venture to print
the remarks of Gov. Spry, showing how
many millions of dollars annually Is
spent by this State upon the public
schools. nor would 1t dare to make ac-
tual comparisons with other and older
States.
Anyone who has ever given any at
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28
scna,or.s wife n IIouscl:ccpcr.

The wife OF n western senator was
sent u bill Cor a pint of cream. and the
charge on 1t was $1.15. She went to
sec tho dairyman and made an inde-
nant protest against the size of the bill.
We'll you see" he explained. that
was u particular brand of cream
oh" she said, II thought you were
going to say YOU had sold me the whole
COW. "--t,Schaugc
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28
TIundcr and Lightning.

\ bishop came to visit a church
where colorcd minister was presid-
ing Loudly and with much gcstic-
aulation the preacher proclaimed saliva
tion. When he had finished he ap-
preached the bishop and asked how
he liked the sermon.
The bishop answered: why, pretty
we'll. but don't you think you spoke
too loud%''
Well" said the preacher, tits this
way: what lacks in lightning tries
TO make up in thundcr."-Lades
Home Journal.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28
Hard for IlunOristS.

al see they've got a machine for
sewing on buttons now" said the hui
InoriSt's Wife.
That's Just my luck said tho hu-
morist. THE first thing you know
somebody viii invent a machine for
finding lost collar-buttons and my bust
ness will be ruined. "-Yonliers States
man,
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28
COLONIAL HOUSEKEEPING MYTH
Boston Transcript.

Myths and legends inevitably shrivel
In the brtcing atmosphere of the Uni
vers.ty of Wisconsin, an air most con-
genial to pro- progressiv!sni, freedom of
trying, seems natural combination
and ono of, our most cherished tradi-
tons. having fallen under the attentive
notice Of Miss Caroline L. MacGlll, IN
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28
THE FARMHOUSE or LlGNY.


The historic farmhouse Of Ligny.
where Napoleon won his very last
battle against Butcher, two days be-
fore his final defeat at Waterloo, has
been purchased ut n heavy price by
n local Catholic priest. The bullet
riddled building was about to be de-
molished when the LiGny cure inter-
vened to rescue 1t from disappearance
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28
Anolhcr Needed Hcrorm.

Government inspectors in Kansas
city seized forty-two eases OF eggs re-
Gently which We're found to contain lao
900, 900 bacteria to the cubic ccntmcter.
There really ought to be n law prohibits
ing OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES always crowd
cd with germs-knnsas City Times.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28

An Oakland, Cal, woman swallowed
her false teeth and they killed hcr.
This shows that hard as it Is to swal-
low ones false words it is far better
than to swallow ones false teeth
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28

nervous fire insurance Inspector
says that New York is IN danger of n
greater FIR" than that which destroyed
San Francisco. According to the war
aarmsts. she IS in much greater dan
ger of being destroyed by u foreign
fleet.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28

Aviator Arch HoXscy having attain
ed an altitude Of 1l,47i feet and
having returned to earth safe and
sound. may be considered as an au-
thority OIL the descent OF man
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28

1t would seem that about the only
way to crush tho Mexican insurrec-
ton is to run the steam roller over
it.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28

Pullman car portcrs have met IN
Chicago and formed . union 1t must
be sort OF Bli'ii ana Elack George
arrangement
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28

the state than those who live in Carbon
county but they have their Price
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28

Tic interstate commerce commission
fixes interstate railroad rates when
called upon but it itself cannot be
fixed"
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28

As it takes all sorts Of people to make
u world so It takes all sorts of people
to make humanity.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28

1t begins to look as though the
Cubans would have to change their
national air to THE Stars and stripes
Forever"
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28

Frank Gotch Is beginning TO listen
to the call Of the mat. Heed it not, for
ii is but the voice of the tcmptcr that
would lure you to destruction,
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28

Political economy-not appropriatins
public funds to satisfy every demand
made on them
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28

The office sought Governor-clect Dix.
and now the ohice-seekcrs are seek
ing him.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28
JUST FOR FUN

Have YOU ever noticed how bum
actor can get laughter and applause
by using n cuss word ="
ooh. yes. What's the reason?"
1--WE found out. ! think The att
dience has been wanting to swear, but
Is; too polite. Toledo Blade.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28

If prices have gone down they have
gone down where nobody can find
them
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28

A cyn!c is a sinner who commits no
sin, for which he can be punished
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28

If Woodrow Wilson had an Ananias
club he would put James smith, Jr., in
it.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28

y poor actor tthere are sucfD can
| perform Il painful operation
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28

The greatest amusement hall in the
country is the Hall of Fame.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28

Papa. is there really a Santa
Clause"
70 'Of course there Is my dear"
''How do YOU know"
m-wcll--don't fave to pay his
bills ?.---Detroit Free Press.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28

tenui6n to school matters knows that
some times school boards are incompe-
|tcnt to manage the schools under their
care; that they have neither the cduc;t-
tional. nor the business ability re-
Guircd properly to discharge the duties
of high standards and thoroughncss.
doubtless because they are beyond their.
attachments. This perhaps is naturul:
but this is not peculiar to any state. or
any country. The remedy is the sclec-
ton of abcr ard broadcr-minded men
for the position OF school trustee.
And as to the matter of school teach
ers As there are fa;gots and rag-
.ots so there are school teachers and
school teachers. There are lncompe-
tents in their ranks us there arc incom-
petents in the ranks Of all professions.
Theirs is much fustian talked about the
years Of preparation. the hard study
and tie rigid discipline. Not all the
years Of their lives though they lived
laborioIs day and scorn delights could
make some teachers competent. 1t Is
hard to get rid of them. for principals
shrink from recommending their dis
missal. while school boards dislike to
carry out the recommendation when
made. Principals and boards alike
need their backbone stlfrcned in this
matter,
AS to the truth uttered by DR., Tyler
apt.r.. too apt to hold each other in
contempt The "effete east is quito
as much of n myth as the wild and
woolley west" is. There is too much
selEsufficiency in both sections, each
has its virtues. each has its follics; but
each is too much inclined to see only.
the f.ollies of the other and to ignore
or at least minimize, its virtues. Dr.
Tyler's suggestion would do much to
remedy the regrettabe state of affairs
to the mutual benefit Of each section.
If the cast can go to the west. learn of
Its ways and be wise. the west can go
TO the east and do the same. Each needs
some OF the conceit taken out of It;
and the sooner this is done the better
it will be.
The star aviator makes his fight by
night.
Exchange of Christmas presents is no
robbery.
The spiral glide is the Dutch roll of
the aviator.
1t is an awful feeling to feel that
you have been fooled
The greatest amusement hall in the
| country is the Hall of Fame
| y poor actor Cthere are suciO can
| perform painful operation.
A cynic is a sinner who commits no
sin, for which he can be punished,
If Woodrow Wilson had an Ananias
club he would put James smith, Jr., in
| it.
If prices have gone down they have
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28

1t is an awful feeling to feel that
you have been fooled.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28

Exchange Of Christmas presents is no
robbery.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28

The spiral glide is the Dutch roll o
the aviator.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-12-28

The star aviator makes his fight by
night.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-12-11

business nor Office politics. He knew
the wisdom OF being a know-nothing-
and he was proud of IL.
He didn't knew a thing about any,
thing but his own work. his own niche
ia the Office system. He cared~nothing
abo1t Harrows' coat nor Browning 5
reckless expenditures But he listened
when other people told him things.
He had ears-snd he kept them
wide open. What he heard. however.
stayed where II went inside his ear
and didn't spill cut his mouth.
II silence is gold he argued, then
the ability to keep. to himself what
he heard and knwe must be radium-
and that's q heap more vsIrablc than
gold. Horace. Won know.
u wasn't long before Chap sNo.
talked himself out Of his job-whiIc
Chap No. Is still there.
Which gees to show tina; the mouth
never was made "a talk vith-is's only
made 10 lalk through.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-12-11

up and take notice. He stuck II into
every and anybody's business-and
then told everyone else exactly what
he had discovered-in his own mag
nation.
lie kept tab on the comings and go
ings OF every fellow-employe. He knew
how long poor old Harrows had worn
the same shabby suit Of ciothes-and
he actually made . point OF going up
to HI house to see II il was the only
one o. cid fellow possessed.
- He limited around that Browning was
living way beyond his means and that
something would break scme day that
would land this same Browning behind
the bars incidentally. be Il mentioned.
when someone proved to him saat
Browning had privste income out
side his salary. he Immediately fawnei
over bin and told him. IS a gccd joke.
what the other chaps had been saying
about his sxtrsvc CANT habits.
In hts own estimation he was on the
inside 81 everything the hoses were
planning TO DO. He knew the bust
ness nom 4 70 lizard and. more than
that. he knew just where the capital
came from ana the names OF each IN
dividusi sfockholder.
A. prophet Of raises In salary. he
was strictly the goods. TO hear him
icil 4 the bosses consulted him BE-.
fore uakiag them
he vas = know-i;-an. a biov-hard. 4
gabblsr Who talked 80 hsrd with nis
ncuth that he had 70 unwind Il al
Night 70 prevent IT, keeping him
awake with IS chatter.
NoE. CHAP No ? vas a. e tho re-
verse. re had learned . ie~ things
from experience. He bad a mouth Of
course. End he talked through n. put
Horsce. nof Sith a. he kept u sh1.
most ~ NE time. And When h. I'D
cpen A. 4 pas uever.on othsr people ,
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-12-11

HERE were once two Rising
IT, Young Men in an Office who
II talked. physically, just as any
~ normal. healthy young man
talks. Bat one OF them
talked with his mouth and The other
one didn't
Nov. this hrst chap TALKED only
with bis mouth There was never the
brain behind il; never the careful.
fhoogitfui weighing of his words be
fore he let them fall. He spoke first
some;imes-4houehf afterwards
Fer. YOU see. he was that most pitiabie
Of all fhinzs in trousers male Cos
SIP
What he didn't Know about wha;
zas Scsax on around The once coaid
aasc tetn engraved on the back Of =
ti1foin penny with > crowbar And
pnss he did knc< about what never
happened in the osice ccsidE'f have
been chIsele6 On the Eoor OF the TO
q n6a q - Capitol wah q No. 10
needle eni.a microscope.
A. shc once nevspapsr-contsiai
everything from dnxncisl news 20 the
latest social chatter-te WAS strictly
f4c Ee-to-dafs psbl,carion.
ToXrsr him ell II. the president Of
The stEppsny asked biz advice on
fvcry b's deal he entered before do
inx 30
To hear MIN ten n. the oottcm
would fall ouf Of the business -
u.iB1tc b. resigned.
t. bear aim tel Il. his ssiery ves
ehoppcf-brt he coul6nt ssy pre-
rirriy how mach beczuse nc vas pa
Or promise not 10. icr fear o. snsNng
De cher cleric iczicus,
X hi< -rno1fh opened and shut each
f<irsl w0.fcr machine yet dl-<oferet.
n nose had fcci>rs On i int ecuid
h<te lz1e q ct o. tic phsrsohs ~
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-12-11

cages, and they did not worry him
He went TO bed and slept soundly a.
soon as he became used to .heir
squealing- When they moved to theiI
home near Elizabeth, however, 1t wss
different.
Mrs. Everson after time liberated
her pets. Since then Everson's iita
has been one great battle for sleep
At night he would be awakened by q
large rat doing a marathon around his
neck. Occasionally he would feel q
nibble like g fisherman does. ana find
that one of his vife'< pets was mere.
ly cutting its wisdom teeth on bis
pet corn.
He stood ~ until several Of the bet
tar-mannered and more thoroughly
trained rodents took to viping their
feet. on his hair before they scamper-
cd across his pillow.
Evcrson snorss a bit. suc sleeps
with his north open. Fear that some
morning ne would wake mp and feel
that - had been TO Chinese din
Rer finally drove hira for rest into a
closet. where Inc rata could not gel
at him
Then. taking courzE>. be demanded
that the rats be expelled from the
place lie says he always lived hap
PLY ~ith his wise Until she decided
rats ~cre the proper things fcr Ief-.
Everson stood " all until several OF
The more socially inclined of'This
wife's pets went out irto the field and
came bark leading other rats % whom
theysxnev nothing and with whom
they Sad only q speaking ecquai-<--
aEue. So he decided TO take steps -
apply 10 the court Cor rsdress- He i
10 ask. for Al injunction restraining
Mrs. Everson from maintaining q shei-
ter for rodents. lie admit the rats
are fond Of his Wife eat out Of her
hand. answer 70 their names. snt
show other evidence OF intelligence.
bot he refuses TO sleep In the sane
room with them OF eat a. the same
table. II he ever thought Of rat pois-
on. he did not ssy fo.-Scw York
American.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-12-11
HIS WIFE LIKES RATS.
But a. Mr.. sverson Can't Stand the
Live Kind, Ne Wants q Divorce.


Live Kind, Ne Wants Divorce.
NsaS a woman's fsndness for ca
nary birds. Jet dogs. cats. or even
gold fsh. has driven q husband 70
eek pcsce and quiet clsevberc than
In his home. Bu; to Cnar>& Ever
son. Of Union township. Unicn coun.
". y j.. belongs the distinction OF
being. 81 FAR as The records show.
the arst man TO be driven from home
By . sIfe's fonGness for rats
The rats arc not the Kind that a
woman takes out Of her hair and laws
on = dresser when she goes 70 bed.
bat real live fouriegged. skarp. toofh.
Cd. lougfailed. sleek looking rats that
AIS. Eyeron has for pets. according
70 her husband.
bverson Is a man vno VII neht Tor
MS riEats- sHd he Las taken steps 10
have an Injunction issued preventing
nis VIE from keeping her reff. Nh
Everson y p years old and Food
iookinz She = a. fond ~ rafx a. ber
husoand Is unfond q Them.
bterson SAP that vsen fhsv urod
IN Philadelphia he wife hccame A..
tachcs 70 rodents and mae a rnrc~.
Lou u then. She kept them i,
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-12-11

the ships we're imprisoned and aeses
heard q again. But theso myths con-
cernIng the sea have been e1ploded
hy the stcamg Michael sars. Of the
United ssatss hydroKTsphic service.
sent out from Plymouth q fen months
ago with COMPANY Of scientists on
board
The steamer reccntly came into 81
johns. y. p after q thrcc-mcnth stuey
Of ;hc ssrxssso sea. vth a report
shzf The sior.es ~ the mass Of sea
veci czrght n fte dead zsters o.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-12-11
BABY BLANKETS

Delicate shade OF light blue. pink
or white ground with novelty de-
signs: very suitable for gifts;
each sss value .'.... Price ,'..~.....~ CSC
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-12-11

the Central Atiartsic north Of The
Cape verde islands are grestis exag-
zcrafed-
Scientists or the expedition say that
The sea a especially rjca in rare and
beautiful aquatic insects and small
fsA. They Discovered a wonderful
transparent shrimp witn eyes Ike jew
els en- the end cf long pcdicles. These
eye sof the shrip are rany-faccico and
GzzA . brilliant grcsnish light
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-12-11
Polar Etiovesss

Madam. could you spare q hand
out oecold bsfe7 was wit de- iran
dat discovered de Pole
Where's your proofs7'
~De proper thing. mum, - n Pro
vide DC banquet and den ask fer De
proofs ~-Kanfss City Journal
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-12-11

Black silk Hose, with Isle
thread heels and toes which dou-
BILE the service, firmly knit and
shaped TO fit A box of these
stockings will make an appropri-
ate Xmas gift; 2 pairs Ct IN.
in a Holly box for 49,. ~ EOV.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-12-11
explsas. ola 81. nxth.

For yeers sriicrs have used the
~1rEass0 Sea a. . background Tor
their .storics-tsies o. urvstcriouy SHIPS
aud ibs graveyard q sesgeed Ekcrt
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-12-11
GIFT BLANKETS

Blankets make gery useful
Xmas Gift when well selected.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-12-11
1lTTbG fAbCGSe ras
&slde lsQaG NAn

HERE were once two Rising
Young Men in an Office who
talked. physically, just as any
4 normal. healthy young man
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-12-11

" viii BE- heaven sure enough n
there are 20 arst OF the month bills
there
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-06-10
Queer Pronunciations.

There are many names of places in England that puzzle the stranger. Happisburgh, in Norfolk, for instance, Is pronounced Hazeboro, Abergavenny simply drops a syllable and becomes Abervenny, and 1t Is alleged that St. Neots sounds more like Shoots than anything else. Cirencester seems to vary from Sister to Sizeter. In Suf- folk Waldringfeld is "Wunnerful'' and Chelmondiston 'Chimston," while in the adjoining county of Norfolk Hun- stanton Is "Hunston," and in the west country Badgeworthy is "Badgery" and Cornwood "Kernood." Hunting. donshire claims the purest English, but they call Papworth 'Parpor.r And not far away is another village of beauty. The motorist turned upon a rough road and asked the intelligent laborer where it would take him. That road" said the honest country man, wiping his brow, Twill take you to Ell, sir" The courageous motor lst went on and found Ellsworth, which Is pronounced "Elser." Manchester Guardian.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-06-10
Don'ts.

Don't attempt to punish all your enc.
 mics at once. You can't do large business with small capital. Don't say Il told you so." Two to one you never said a word about it. Don't worry about another mans business, A little selfshness is sometimes com. mendable. Don't imagine that you can correct all the evils in the world
 A grain of sand is not prominent in 6 desert. Don't mourn over fancied grievances. Bide your time, and real sorrow will come. Don't throw dust io your teachers eyes. It win only in- jure the pupil. Don't worry about the ice crop. Keep oool and you will have enough. Don't borrow a coach to please your wife. Better make her a little sulky. Don't imagine that every thing is weakening. Butter is strong in this market. Don't publish your acts of charity. The Lord will keep the account straight. Don't color meerschaums for living. It Is sim ply dyeing by inches.-Mark Twain.