The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1910-12-27
B6N LAST OF OLD
SCHOOL OF HUMOR|STS

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tured paragraph making fun of his Cd
ponent, which would be copied into a
thousand newspapers. This copying OF
! Nye's articles made Sanders madden
than ever.
1.-THE fact of It is" said Sanders
this Nye is a fool. His stuff is all
twaddle. Now look at my editorials, -
ne said as he pointed proudly to a
double loaded article on Southern Out
RACES" and Coming Wars In Europe"
"They are solid; they are dignifed.
You can see they are written by a
scholar Now look at Nye's paper.
See what trash. And still they all copy
him. 1t makes me sick. Look at
this" he said, pointing to a paragraph
he had penciled:
What becomes Of our bodies? asks
soft eyed scientist, and we answer In
stentorian tones that they get inside red
flannel undershirt as the maple turns to
crimson and the sassafras to gold. Ask
us something difficult, ethereal being"
That's enough" said l. "That set
ties Nye. We can all see that he will
never amount to anything
A look Of inexpressible gratitude set
tied all over Sanders face as 1 said
this.
Nye Introduces Perkins.
That night Mr.. Nye introduced me
to the opera house audience. He did
1t in SO sweet and amiable a manner
that l was completely won over and
regretted that l had agreed with San
ders. l shall never forget the modest
and trembling manner in which Mr..
Nye faced the audience and com
menced his introduction:
Ladies and Gentlemen-I am glad that
1t has devolved upon me tonight to an
nounce that we are to have an interesting
lecture on lying by one Of the most dis
nguished-l-l-(there was long pause,
for Mr.. Nye's infection indicated that he
had finished, and the audience roared with
delight, SO that 1t was some time before
the sentence was concluded)-lecturers
from the east
'sWe have our ordinary country liars in
Laramie, but Mr.. Perkins comes from the
metropolis Our everyday liars have a
fine record. We are proud of them. But
the uncultured liars Of the priarie cannot
be expected to cope with the gifted and
more polished prevaricators from the cul-
tured east. Ladies and gentlemen, per-
NIT me to introduce to you Eliar Perkins
Ladies and gentlemen" l said In
reply, II feel justly flattered by your
Laramie humorist's tribute to nv
Yeracity, but truly / am not as great
liar US Mr.. Nye"-and then seemed
to falter; the audience saw my diem
ma and applauded, but finally fin
tshed the sentence by saying-"T am
not as hig liar as Mr.. Nye would
have you think"
A day or two after this / picked up
the Boomerang and read this para
graph:
When Mr.. Perkins was passing
through Laramie he said he was trav-
cling for his wife's pleasure.
Then your wife is with youp sug-
gested Boomerang reporter.
Oh, no. said Eli; she is in New
York.
Routed In Sunday School.
In telling of the confusing retort of
q Sunday school pupil at Portland, |
Ore, Mr.. Landon wrote:
"After lecturing for the Y. NJ. G. A.
there was asked to say something to
the Sabbath school scholars on Sun
day evening. Now, my talks are keyed |
up to college or church audiences. l
could not think of anything to talk
about, SO looked at the children and
said:
Now, children, about what shall
talk tonight?'
About three minutes said a lit
tie girl, and the witty answer con-
vulsed the church with laughter, but
he ice was broken
Another story told on himself was
this:
About the funniest incident In my
ecture experiences happened at
Portsmouth, N. FL. / have told the
story in print and made Max O'Rell
he hero of 1t. while it really happened
% myself.
Appreciated In Portsmouth.
when got on the train the next
morning after my Portsmouth lecture
was accosted by very nicely dress
d young gentleman. who said, as he
dvanced toward me, with smile:
I beg pardon sss. but are you the
gentleman who deI red the Y. NJ. @. /
l. lecture last night?
I am said, with some pride.
/" Well, want to thank you for 1t. /
don't know when ever enjoyed my 1
elf more than when you were talk {
ng.'
" You are very complimentary, /
aid, taking the young man warmly
y the hand, very complimentary. I
m glad my humble effort was wor- /
ny Of your praise
!" Yes continued the young man, 3
{ gave me immense pleasure. You
&c, I am engaged to Portsmouth
lrl, and her three sisters all went,
nd / had the girl In the par1or ali to
lyself Oh, it was a happy night !
he night Won lecfI1rad in portsuor.ft,f | 4