Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1910-07-29
THE DARK SIDE OF THE FOURTH.
Mark Twain's Sorrow on the Day We
Celebrate"

Mark Twain's Sorrow on the Day We
Celebrate"
From Mr.. Clemens address at
banquet given by the American So
ciety in London at the Hotel Cecil,
July 4. 1907, when he was called up
on by Ambassador ChOate to respond
to the toast, The Day We Cele-
brate."
Our Ambassador has spoken of our
Fourth of July and the noise it
makes. We have got double 4th
OF July-daylight 4th and midnight
4th. During the day, in America, we
keep the fourth properly, in rever-
ent spirit. We devote it to teaching
our children patriotic things-rever-
ence for the Declaration of Indepen-
dence. We honor the day all through
the daylight hours, and when night
comes we dishonor it. Presently
before long-they are getting ready
to begin nOw-on the Atlantic Coast
when night shuts down, that pande-
monium will begin, and there will be
noise, and noise, and noise. all night
long, and there will be more than
noise, there will be people crippled,
there will be people killed, there will
be people who lDse their eyes
ana all through that permission which
we give to irresponsible boys to play
with firearms and firecrackers, and
all sorts of dangerous things. We
turn that Fourth of July alas! over to
rowdies, to drink and get drunk and
make the night hideous, and we kill
and cripple more people than you
would imagine.
We probably began to celebrate
our Fourth of July night in that way
125 years ago. and on every recurring
anniversary night since, these hnr-
rors have grown and grown, until
now, in our 5000 towns of America
somebody gets crippled on every
Fourth of July night. besides those
cases of sick persons whom we never
hear of, who die as a result of the
noise or the shock. They cripple or
kill many more people on the Fourth
of July in America than they kill and
cripple in our wars nowadays, and
there are no pensions for these folks.
And too we burn houses. Really we
destroy more property on every 4th
of July night than the whole United
States was worth 125 years ago.
Really it is our day of mourning, our
day of sorrow. Fifty thousand peo-
pie who have lost friends or who have
had friends crippled, receive that 4th
of July when it comes as o day of
mourning for losses they have sus-
tanned in their families.
l have suffered in that way myself.
l have had relatives killed in that
way. One was in Chicago years ago,
an uncle of mine, just as good an un-
Gle as have ever had, and had lots
of them-yes uncles to burn, uncles
to spare. This poor uncle, full of
patriotism, opened his mouth to
hurrah, and rocket went down his
throat. Before that man could ask
for a drink of water to quench that
thing, it blew up and scattered him
all over the forty-five States, and.
really, now this is true. l knew
about it myself. twenty-four hours
after that it was raining buttons,
recognized as his, on the Atlantic
seaboard. A person cannot have a
disaster like that and be entirely
cheerful the rest of his life. I had
another uncle on an entirely differ
ent Fourth of July, who was blown
up that way, and, really, it trimmed
him rs it would a tree. He had
hardly a limb left on him anywhere.
All we have left now is an expurgat-
ed edition of that uncle. But, never
mind about these things; they
they are merely passing matters.
Don't let NE make you sad.