The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1910-09-21
The BIease Banquet.

| Notable among Cne recent tIunCCluS was
the Blease Banquet. The Banquet was
held in South Carolina, no one was invited
to the feast except newspaper men.
The toast master of the occasion was
the Newbcrry News and Herald. The ta-
BILE was ladened with all the political deli
cacies common to such an occasion. The
Newberry News and Herald occupied the
head Of the table and dispensed meats.
At the opposite end Of the table the ven
cradle Laurensville Herald took up posi-
tion near the "silly bub" tank and coffee
pot.
When the guests had gathered for the
feast of the Newberry Herald and News
up-spoke enquiring of the honorod guest,
the News and Courier, what be would
have? Whereat the News and Courier
spoke !for a generous slice Of we'll done
crow!
"And what will the Daily Mail take?'
asked the toast-master. "Give mea small
slice," said the mail. "Of what, asked
the toast master. Oh, make 1t crow ans
wered the mail.
"What will the next brother, the Lau-
rensville Herald take?" came from the
head of the table. Turkey for mine with
oyster dressing, cut out all "consommes'
and light truck, add stoup Of "silly-bub''
with ten penny in 1t, and cup Of black
coffee.
Greenville News, what will you have?
Just plain crow, please, not too much, my
appetite is rather fractions. My medi-
co tells me that dark meat Is most agree
able to my health just now.
what shall I serve to the Charleston
Post" asked the host and toast master
"Shall I make it turkey?" please to
slice me piece OF breast Of crow" was
the reply, turkey is too rich for my
blood just now, 1 need something sedative
and cooling for my constitution, I've been
rather feverish for spell.
The good old Spartanburg Journal and
Herald with dignity unfolding their nap
kins spoke out simultaneously for crow!
"Give US crow" they said, "since is all the
go we want crow! make it plain crow
with no knick knacks, we do not often in
dulge but since the company calls for crow
our appetites lean that way too,
The toast master and host began to look
serious.
"What will our good old friend The Re-
cord take, he next asked. The Record
smiled and said, "I'll take teenchy ween-
ty piece of crow with little turkey gravy
please" and some one said that the Record
actually smacked his lips, which was OF
course indecorous.
The State sat next. 'gro what shall
serve you? asked the host, "oh, quit your
kiddin," said the State. "you know what
want" give it to me straight, too, no fer
bellows nor founces. What part Of the
fowl would you like?" asked the host. I'll
take the gizzard and the parsons nose,
please. And the host hesitated. "What
is the parsons nose, he enquired. 1t was
explained to the host that 1T was that part
Of the fowl which got over the fence last
and the State was properly served.
The host arose with serious gravity
and remarked that the supply Of crow wat
about exhausted, and asked II none would
take turkey, but all the board began to bt
clamorous for crow.
"Is 1t possible, asked the host, that al
this big juicy turkey is to be left to me-
are there no others to divide with? Thil
is most unusual gathering Of banquet
ers that so few will eat turkey and 81
many arc clamorous for crow.
And SO they banqueted. Presently thu
host proposed the toast "Who killet
Featherstone".
said the State,
With my copper plate,
I killed Featherstone.
Who saw him die?
| 1, said Charleston
With my "slx to one"
saw him die.
Who caught his blood?
I, said the POST,
make tnat boast,
caught his blood.
Who dug his grave2
I, said the mali,
1t was my tale
dug his grave.
Who acted as clerk?
7, said the News,
In airing my Views.
acted as clerk.
Who carried the torch?
I, said the Herald
IN my editorial,
I carried the torch.
Who carried him to his grave?
I, said the Journal,
In my advice diurnal.
carried him to his grave.
Who sang the psalm2
I, said the Enquirer,
To the tune of 30 sapphira"
sang the psalm.
Who was Chief mourner?
Not one, cried they all,
Both the large and the small,
Not one was chief mourner!
Well then, who tolled the belll
I, said the Times
With my anti-Blease rhymes
tolled the bell
land all the papers began to change
their tone
When they heard the bell to toll for Feath-
arctnna