Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-09-27
THE sLEASE BANQUET.
Turkey Wont Begging and All But
Two Took Crow,

Turkey Wont Begging and All But
Two Took Crow.
Notable among the recent functions
was the Blease banquet. The banquet
was held in South Carolina, no one
was invited to the feast except news
paper men.
The POSTMASTER of the occasion was
the Newberry News and Herald. The
table was ladened with all the political
| delicacies common to such an occa-
sion. The Newberry News and Herald
occupied the head Of the table and dis
! pensed meats. At the opposite end Of
the table the venerable Laurensville
Herald took up position near the silly
bub" tank and coffee pot.
When the guests had gathered for
the feast, the Newberry Herald and
News up-spoke enquring Of the hon.
| ored guest, the News and Courier.
| what he would have? Whereat the
News and Courier spoke for a gener-
Gus slice of we'll done crow!
And what will the Daily Mail take?"
small Slice" said the Mail. "Of what?"
asked the POSTMASTER. Oh, make 1t
crow, answered the Mail.
What will the next brother, the
Laurensville Herald take?" came from
the head of the table. Turkey for
mine with oyster dressing, cut out all
"consommes" and light truck, add a
stoup of silly bub." with ten penny
in it, and cup of black coffee.
| Greenville News, what will you have?
Just plain crow, please not too much,
my appetite is rather fractions" My
medico tells me that dark meat is most
agreeable to my health just now.
| What shall serve to the Charles
ton Post" asked the host and toast
master. shall / make it turkey?"
please to slice me piece Of breast Of
crow" was the reply. turkey Is too
rich for my blood just now, need some
thing sedative and cooling for my con-
| stitution. I've been rather feverish
for a spell.
The good old Spartanburg Journal
|
their napkins spoke out simultaneously
| for crow! "Give US crow" they said,
"since it is all the go we want crow!
make 1t plain crow with no knick-
knacks, we do not often indulge but
since the company calls for crow our
appetites lean that way too"
The toastmaster and host began to
look serious.
What will our good old friend the
Record take, he next asked. The Rec
ord smiled and said, I'll take a
teenchy weenty piece of crow with
little turkey gravy please" and some
one said that the Record actually
smacked his lips, which was, Of course,
indecorous.
The State sat next. ITO what shall
serve you?" asked the host? "Oh,
quit your kiddin," said the State, you
know what want, give 1t to me
straight, too, no ferbelous nor
fiounces." What part Of the fowl
would you like?" asked the host. I'll
take the gizzard and the parsons nose,
please" And the host hesitated. What
is the parsons nose," he enquired. 1t
was explained to the host that 1t was
that part of the fowl which got over
the fence last, and the State was prop
erly served.
The host arose with a serious grav-
ity and remarked that the supply OF
crow was about exhausted, and asked
If none would take turkey, but all the
board began to be clamorous for crow.
"Is 1t possible, asked the host, that
all this big juicy turkey is to be left
to me? are there no others to divide
with? This is a most unusual gather
ing of banqueters that so few will eat
turkey and so many are clamorous for
crow"
And so they banqueted. Presently
the host proposed the toast. VINO
killed Featherstone."
I, said the State,
| With my copper plate,
i I killed Featherstone.
Who saw him die?
| T. said Charleston
With my "six to one
I saw him die.
/ Who caught his blood?
| T. said the Post"
1 make that boast,
i caught his blood.
Who dug his grave?
/ I, said the MAIL
| 1t was my tale
| dug his grave.
/ Who acted al clerk?
| +. said the News.
i In airing my views.
| acted as clerk.
| Who carried the torch
I, said the Herald.
| In my editorial,
| I carried the torch.
| Who carried him to his grave?
I. said the Journal
In my advice diurnal.
| I carried him to his grave.