The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1910-06-01
ELECTION WIT AND HUMoR.
Candidate and Heckler in English
Political Campaigns.


Political Campaigns.
More often than not the heckler
has the best of 1t and Ian Malcolm
hits the nail on the head when he
says apropos of the "voice in the
crowd" "You are powerless in face
of 1t; the Tilt of your sentence is
ruined. Your whitening scorn is
turned to laughter and after laughter
no retort appears effective"
Even Bernal Osborne, the wit OF
the Victorian age, was nonplussed
when after glowing speech at Wa
terford upon patriotism and SOL
dier's duty there came a voice from
the gallery: "Och, what's the world
to man If his wife's wldow?"
Another election story of the En-
erald Isle which Mr.. Malcolm tells is
that concerning leading member of
the Irish bar who in an eloquent
speech upon the woes and injustices
of his native land sought to impress
his audience still further by squeez-
ing out few tears which trickled
over his expansive cheeks. But the
sublime was turned to the ridiculous
when the wit of the gallery shouted
out: "Shure, boys, there's fine field
for hydraulics"
This was as disconcerting as the
reply made to Sir Richard Temple,
who returned posthaste from his
duties in India to contest seat In
the course of speech he remarked
that he had travelled 5000 miles and
surrendered $4,000 for the privilege
of representing this great constitu-
| ency," and the audience were i'm
pressed until the remark In loud
voice came from the crowd: "Oh,
what a fool"
And the heckler silenced Lord
George Hamilton on one occasion
when the latter, describing the late
Mr.. Gladstone as "a political adven-
turer who always had his eye on the
Treasury BENCH" was met with the
shout: Eyes, and he'll have his body
there soon If you don't watch it,"
During the last general election a
speaker at one meeting was somewhat
irritated by a member of the audi
| ence who continually repeated, 1--WE
won't have our food taxed; no taxes
on food" But it was not long before
he silenced the interrupter with the
cutting remark, Console yourself,
my friend; Joe isn't going to tax
thistles."
"The voice" at another meeting
shouted out, Talk to us in language
we can understand" because speak
er had quoted some Latin phrases.
Like a flash came the cry from the
platform, "Hee-haw! Hee-haw!" And
the heckler vanished.
The son of a certain lord was ad-
dressing a meeting and was inter-
rupted every few seconds by "the
voice" saying, Tins good as you;
what'sh the duff'rence tween you'n
me?" Suddenly the answer came,
zone difference is that you drink and
don't work, and work but don't
drink"
Lord Morley is one of the few po-
litical speakers who can silence a
heckler with a smiling retort as ef-
fectively as the famous Campbell, Of
Monte, who, when he asked an Edin-
burgh burgess to vote for him and
received the angry answer, vote for
you! I'd sooner vote for Satan
himself" sweetly replied, Eyes; but
If your friend doesn't stand, may l
depend upon your support?"-a re-
mark that earned him a stanch
adherent.
The fact that blind man, Mr..
Walter King, is standing as Liberal
candidate for one of the divisions of
Somersetshire recalls story of Prof.
Fawcett, who as a candidate for
Brighton was asked by an elector how
he, a blind man, was going to "catch
the Speakers eye" and vote in the
right lobby. Mr.. 'Fawcett scored eff
fectively by replying that he would
depend on the kindness of his friends.
But, as to mistaking the lobby, he
said he might occasionally vote
wrong, "but at all events that would
not be so bad as your present M. p,
who is always in the wrong lobby,
and he does it on purpose!" The an
swer was cheered to the echo.-From
Tit-Bits.