davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22

Mrs Eddy, was SO years old on the
day sixteen followers of Mrs. Stetson
were turned out of the mother church.
Mrs Eddy is still vigorous and even
warlike.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22

An instrument has been invented that
swats the fly instead of the spot where
he was. 1t is a great Improvement upon
the human hand
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22

The birds are said to smoker when
they watch the antics of aeroplanes
but he laughs best who laughs last.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22

No actress has to date outdone in Sc
curing free advertising the one that saNd
she wanted to quit the stage SO that
she could darn socks She outdid her
press agent more than four city blocks.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22

The overture of Mr.. Taft's 1912 boom
will be sung as soon as the 61st congress
adjourns without day on March 4.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22

Aviators that don feather beds when
they embark are assured of an easy
landing under any circumstances.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22

The trouble that Speaker Cannon en-
eountered in Kansas was due to the
insurgent weather of that state.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22

The piano houses are losing business
to the automobile factories.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22
MERELY A SUPERSTITION.

western man has invented a sand
wich slot machine. According to a news
paper article, describing the machine,
the sandwiches not sold are SUPPOSED
to be taken out every day and fresh
ones substituted.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22

Dr.. Pearsons seems to be the only mil
lionaire who meant 1T when he said
he wanted to die poor.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22

President Taft declines to accumulate
trouble by writing state platforms.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22
SIGHED FOR COMPANY.

SIIffED FOfI COMFAN1.
SO you were held up last night by a
footpad?"
Yes and | wished at the time that
there were couple of fellows along with
a moving picture machine
You wanted to figure on film, eh?"
Not particularly. l felt SO blamed
lonesome"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22

Uncle Joe Cannon's chautauqua cir
cutting is pie to the democrats.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22

The Donkhabors scorn when engaged
in a revival even the Raymond Duncan
hot-weather clothes.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22
About Persons

L. Sewer, general agent of the South
ern railway, returned yesterday from
Washington.
Alexander Troy, secretary of the State
Bar association, returned to Montgom-
cry yesterday after being in Birming-
ham for the purpose of assisting Presi-
dent London in naming the association
committees for the year.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22

ALMOST.
Burgle, burgle. burgle,-
Now that's an easy life;
A chap can steal almost enough
To dress little wife,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22
PESsIMISTIC CARUSo.

PESSIMISTIC CARUSO.
Being at the top has decided disadvan-
tases. That's what Caruso says, and
he's at the top.
Caruso promenading the deck of the
Kaiser Wilhelm IT,, talked to an editor
discontentedly. Il have no future, moth
ing to hope for" he said. IT have
climbed as high as 1t is possible to climb.
Since ] am at the top my next move
must be down HILL Think of the
money you make. Mr.. Caruso!" he cried.
But even this thought did not comfort
the tenor. Money is nothing in ITSELF"
said he. Suppose we all had money.
Suppose every man jack of us had forty
or fifty thousand a year. Then we'd all
have to wash our own clothes and black
our own boots. Exchange.
THE POETRY SHOP.
The tailor takes his shears and cuts
suit to fit;
But poets who are tickle NUTS
And lightly fit
From theme to theme, can never tell
What will befall.
That's why some rhymes are hard to
sell
Some not at all.
BWANA TUMBO OUTDONE.
There was great excitement at Lineville
the other day and The Age-Heralds
vigilant correspondent wrote as follows:
while en- route to town yesterday a
grounding was espied by Young Haynes
and Make Barnhill, which was chased
by dog and run into hole in the
storage house of the Haynes Mercantile
company, at the outskirts of town. After
freeing the grounding the young men
dug into the hole and captured it and
brought it to town. 1t Is of medium
size and about half-grown''
A STIRRING SCENE.
How dare you'll through her teeth she
Missed,
The villain coldly smiled;
Forward the parquet leaned to list
The gallery went Wild
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22
DANIEL DEFOE

Even Mr.. Peary is paying this month
the market price for Ice
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22

When the airship breaks down it is
not easy to get out and walk back
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22

The air continues to object to both
legal and physical control. 1t blow
eth where 1t listeth.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22

SLEEPING OUT

SLEEPING OUTDOORS.
Advice about how to sleep out of doors
Is appearing in many newspapers. A
Cherokee Indian, attending the
Tahlequah payment, went at 1t this way:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22

Joaquin Miller says he is at present
raising better peaches than poetry
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22

SIMULTANEOUS MOVEMENT.
well, old Pluggforth has gone up at
last
Been promoted, eh?'
Yes. and as soon as he went up his
wife's chin went up.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22

The colonel carries water on both
shoulders whenever the AIdrich tariff Is
mentioned
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22

AS II 'TWERE.
"A Belgian pugilist had a bout last
night before an athletic club with a
fighter from Australia
How was the mill?"
"A farce. The Belgian blocked every
one of the Australians leads.
II see; merely another case of the Bel
gian block"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22

Danville. Illinois. is no rival of oys-
ter Bay or Beverly, and, never will be-
Poor old joel
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22

Wherever Joe Cannon appears insur
gency becomes at once rampant and
aggressive.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22

No additional states are making haste
for governor.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22
AROUND THE WAIST.

$50 Miss Florry has accepted young
Squeezem?"
Yes; 1t seems that she was SO hard
pressed she couldn't refuse
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22
SEEMS MOTT

Il see where a man mourned as dead
came home just when his wife was pre-
pairing to wed another
Evidently he wasn't being mourned
much at that particular time"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22
LOVE

LOVE.
Love doth gid the darkest day
With a CLEAN of brightness.
Drives our heavy cares away,
Teaches sad hearts lightness.
Blunts the thorns that strew life's road,
Sweeps aside the boulders
Lifts a part of every load
Laid on weary shoulders.
Love makes morning seem more fair,
Evens calm a blessing;
Routs the phantoms of despair,
Keeps old Trouble guessing.
Twists sigh into a song,
Laughter wins from weeping;
Broods above our graves for long,
When at last we're sleeping.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22
NE'ER.

N u ER.
Who smacks a maid
And does not muss
Her hair, ne'er makes
A blunder-buss.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-07-22

vice should be received with caution
They are. however. correct when the,
say the world needs an American erol
of $4,000, 900 bales and every southern
farmer is on the spot to Judge whether
the world will secure crop of that ex
tent or not.
-
No actress has to date outdone IN Sc
curing free advertising the one that saN1
she wanted to quit the stage SO thai
she could darn socks. She outdid her
press agent more than four city blocks.
When an aeroplane flies from New
York to st. Louis, 1000 miles, its long
distance possibilities will become estab-
lished provided it does not indulge toe
much in stopover privileges
Mrs. Eddy, was SO years old on the
day sixteen followers of Mrs. Stetson
were turned out of the mother church.
Mrs. Eddy is still vigorous and even
warlike
An instrument has been invented that
swats the fly instead of the spot where
he was. 1t is great Improvement upon
the human hand.
--s.---
The birds are said to smoker when
they watch the antics of aeroplanes,
but he laughs best who laughs last
Aviators that don feather beds when
they embark are assured of an easy
landing under any circumstances.
The trouble that Speaker Cannon en-
eountered in Kansas was due to the
insurgent weather of that state.
The overture of Mr.. Taft's 1912 boom
will be sung as soon as the 61st congress
adjourns without day on March 4.
DR.. Pearsons seems to be the only mil
lionaire who meant 1t when he said
he wanted to die poor.
The Donkhabors scorn when engaged
in revival even the Raymond Duncan
hot-weather clothes.
The air continues to object to both
legal and physical control 1t blow
eth where it listeth.
Danvile. illinois,. is no rival of Oys-
ter Bay or Beverly. and, never will be.
Poor old Joe!
No additional states are making haste
this week to nominate Clifford Pinchot
for governor.
Wherever Joe Cannon appears insur-
gency becomes at once rampant and
aggressive.
The colonel carries water on both
shoulders whenever the Aidrich tariff is
Joaquin Miller says he is at present
raising better peaches than poetry
When the airship breaks down it is
not easy to get out and walk back
President Taft declines to accumulate
trouble by writing state platforms.
Uncle Joe Cannons chautanqua cir
cutting is pie to the democrats.
The piano houses are losing business
to the automobile factories.
Even Mr.. Peary is paying this month
the market price for ice.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-15
Alice O'Keefe
Dies of Burns
Daughter of Joseph 0'Keefe, While
Playing Bonfire, Injured So She
Expires in Short Time.

Alice Isabelle OKeefe, the s-year-old
daughter of Joseph O'Keefe, 1925 Daven-
port street, president Of the O'Keefe Realty
company died in the Methodist hospital
last night, as the result of burns received
in the afternoon, while she was playing
bonfire with her two little sisters and some
other girl friends.
When the chid's clothing caught fire she
rushed into the houee, Mr.. and Mrs.
OKeefe extinguished the flames and she
was hurried to the hospital. 1t was then
discovered that there was scarcely a bit
Of her body that had not been scorched and
no hope was entertained of saving her
life. DR.. Porter did what he could to re-
lieve the pain of the little sufferer, who
died at o'clock, five hours after the after
Moons play had such tragic interruption.
Mr.. O'Keefe. who had planned going out
of the city today on business, never left
his child's bedside. Mrs. O'Keefe was too
Frustrated with grief to visit the hospital
The funeral services wilr be held from
the residence, 1925 Davenport street
Wednesday. Burial will be made In Holy
Sepulchre cemetery.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-15
NEW COMMENCEMENT PLANNED
High School Graduates VIII Not
March Forward to Receive
Diplomas as Heretofore.

The 1910 commencement OF the Omaha
High school will be conducted on a plan
somewhat different from that of past
years. The cause OF the change is the
greatly increased size of the class, making
it impossible to handle the exercises as
before.
Instead of having the pupils march
around the stage each receiving a diploma
In person., all the students will remain
seated while the diplomas are given out
One of the chief objections to the pupils
rising and marching is that the tier Of
seats on which the class sits during the
first part of the program must be made
so that it can be taken apart in short
time and cleared off the stage. To do this
and still make the seating place stroag
enough TO hold the go pupils is impossible.
AS the program is now arranged the
cadet officers will march on the stage
and receive their military commissions
and the other certificates will be handed
up to each Individual student, each rising
as his or her name is called.
At the meeting OF the senior classes held
yesterday 1t was announced that the senior
/ party which has been twice postponed
would take place Tuesday evening a
! Chambers The hall has been prettil,
| decorated with the class colors and al
Interesting program OF festivities has beer
arranged.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-15
Much Mushy Talk of No Inter-
est to Hard Hearted Persons.

e mot at ALL exclaimed. why, at oui
office we've been giving the same thing to
each man that gets married ever since I
can remember"
THE same thing?" she cried.
"Oh, no; we don't go to the pawnshon
and get it out every time" assured.
Merely meant we get the same kind of
present for each new victim. The office
collection always comes to the Same
amount and results in a stagnation OF i'm
agination. II everybody should chip in q
little more some time there would be a
panic. Nobody would know how to spend
it."
Haven't you been chipping in for about
every one there?" she queried guardedly.
Another fellow and 1 are the sole sur
vivors," boasted. "Of course, onel OF
another of the victims may get a reno
walton of his status and then come back
| for a second present. Some people never
know when they've had enough"
isn't there any chance-of the Other
survivor Enthusiastically.
mot a chance" 1 stated. Every tina
we look at those sad married men-having
their morey saved for them every week
instead of spending 1t freely pay night
and going around for a touch the next day
poor zobs! They even seem to like It. No
more wedding presents for a while,
guess. But what do you consider the good
idea for the PRESENT."
why" she hesitated, 81 should think
spoon would be nice. Wouldn't your
did!
| Copyright. 1910, by the N. Y. Herald Coz
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-15
Tells Friend Wife the Attractions of
Traction Reform.

gone blind through reading in subway and
other cars where the incandescent light
sockets are either empty or the lamps
burned out will carry their own drop light
bulbs to attach for reading purposes when
the campaign gets under way. Who
knows but that those strange persons who
peel and eat bananas and sandwiches the
moment they sit down in q poorly venti-
lated car on a sitting day will now cary
tight topped zinc garbage pals And a
for the man or woman who now endanget4
his or her neck rubbering over in an
effort to read her neighbours newspaper,
he or she should be required to buy his
personal literature. Imagine the attrac.
lions OF a traction reform!
"Of course, In New York and any other
progressive city where horse cars are still
the rage, nervous passengers In hurry
could bring their own. horses. And the
giddy girls who arrange their compilations
in cars will have TO provide their OWE
powder rags!'
why not have every one provide hii
own street carp inquired Friend Wife.
"Then we'd all be off our own trolleys, :"
said the Tired Business Man.
Copyright 1910 by the N. Y. Herald Coz
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-15
,v mA1.rrR. A. sINcLAIR.


.'That was clever of that Cincinnati man
TO carry strap he could hook on the
street car ceiling and dangle from, wasn't
III" asked Friend Wife, What will be
next?"
''PassenRers will carry Individual car
seats" suggested the Tired Business Man.
when somebody invents a camp stool or
some such seat the traction companies can
build their arks like box cars, with no
seats at ALL and let the passengers fur
nish their own sittings. When that hap
mems 1 shudder for the car when some
father with a large family carries in
sofa TO seat his flock on. And each win
carry an end seat.
"This Cincinnati man carries a street car
hand grip because hes is afraid Of germs.
suppose he read about tRe grip germs
Well, well, maybe he's right, although
supposed the only persons affected by
germs in the hands, giving them the Itchy
| palms. were state. legislators and city
councilmen. But this fear OF germs is
| liable to carry us to such lengths that a
woman will carry the exact change for
fare instead Of handing out $40 bill in a
| crowded car.
| "When the fad for carrying individual
car straps becomes prevalent and we also
tote oollapsible seats, which are more
! liable TO collapse than hold one, then we
can expect passengers to be bringing their
own pillows. sheets and comforts into the
sleeping cars, thus sparing themselves the
modification Of mistaking the sheets for
| handkerchiefs and taking them away.
| Maybe travellers will bring their own food
into dining cars, together with the family
silver, knives and forks. And think OF
/ that advanced day when each passenger
sprinkles himself with his own cigar ashes
instead of having his neighbor do 1t!
'rWe'u refuse TO take change that isn't
antisceptleized, and will insist on breath
ing our own breath, instead OF sharing
that OF the man sitting TO the right who
has trenchered generously on garlic, lin
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-15
Dottie Dialogues
BY WALTER A. SINCLAIR.


'Rice could be thrown with safety In
thoughtfully.
Its a pudding!' 1 exclaimed, cutely,
at wouldn't cause the shock plain rice
gives" she elaborated.
mot unless there were electric currents
in the pudding" 1 amended.
but it seems so cruel for food friends
to throw rice at the happy couple, with a
chance of binding Them" she protested.
Love is blind" / quoted, solemnly
But a lot of newly married couples are
not in love-"
"Scoffer!" she accused. But surely you
don't approve of rice-and old shoes?"
''They don't throw old shoes any more
since the tariff made us regard the bare
asserted. Folks have them resoled now
for economy"
THAT the sole reason?' she inquired.
mo, the fesole reason" snapped.
Think of what will happen If leather be-
comes too expensive for anything but the
most expensive purses" she ruminated.
you'll carry a silver chatelaine made
out of this Pennsylvania pot stilled silver
instead Of a leather purse" 1 predicted.
'Do you think that inventor produced q
masterpiece when he made silver in a sour
kettle?" she asked.
mo, Just a potboiler," replied.
But to return to June brides. Think, II
leather shoes become too expensive tc
throw away and people should throw
horse shoes or wooden shoes"
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-15
The Tired Business Man

burger and third rail juice. / wouldn't be
surprised II some real fussy passengers
would fetch a pair of goloshes to be worn
every time his feet were stood upon by
some total stranger not versed In the germ
theory.
''The individual strap to hang from APP
peals to me far more favorably than the
common habit of hooking a cane or UNI
brella through the strap and dangling
from that. This ordinary procedure may
be all right for the owner OF the cane or
umbrella, but 1t is most distressing TO
short persons who are poked in the eyes.
Probably our human moes who have
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-15
some College Humor.

A new German professor In a girls col
lege. wishing to detain one OF the stu,
dents. said: "Oh. Miss -, may / hold 4
you a minute after class?'
The same professor, attending as spec
tator for the first time one OF the girls
dances. remarked: How charming the
young ladies look In their iow-necked
nightgowns!"
This advice was given by one OF the stu
dents 10 her mates; Girls. take all the
courses you can with the men professors,
for the women OF the faculty try to find
out how much ycu know, and the men try
to show off how much they know"
The wife Of one OF the professors warned
him as he went off 10 officiate at a funeral
one rainy day: Now. John, donft stalnd
with your bare mead on the damp Dfrow -
you'u surely catch cold."-Life
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-15

FOR SALE-1,OO0 acres strictly farm land,
good steam pillow proposition, In Montana;
N3.5O per acre; $3.50 cash, all the time
needed on the balance, . per cent Who
takes this little block OF land and doubles
his money In ~ months? $50 acres east
ern Montana, strictly steam pillow PROPOSE
tion SIG pes acre, one-third down, balance
Tour annual payments after this fan. ~
acres, Dunn county N. d. every acre
farm land, S12 per acre, worth S2O. 16y
acres, Campbell county, s. D., tl2 per
acre. Nine sections In Dunn county ". D.,
rs per cent pillow, $10.S5 per acre; good
terms. Fifteen sections, eastern Montana,
sl46O 1900 acres In Billings, N. D., $3.50.
Sixteen sections in Dunn N. D., very
choice, tl475; one-thlrd cash, balance goud
terms. Very select section In Mercer
county, N. D., sl3 per acre.
JOSEPH KEENAN,. Austin, MINI
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-15
1'exas.
TEXAS GU

TEXAS GULF COAST LAND.
We are now selling the Wilder ranch.
which joins the Taft; one OK the best tracts
or land in the Gulf Coast II is located on
two railroads and comes right up TO Sim
ton. a new city OF 2U00 population.
We offer this in any size tracts at from
as 10 $50 per acre. Get our booklets; find
out about the opportunities.
Paul Co., 221 Security Rank.
Minneapolis