The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1910-03-10
'OSH'S c N OPENER
INVENTION SURELY LOOKED
LIKE A WINNER. BUT
Marvellous invention Was Brought TO
Nousht Through Devices of Naughty
Burglar. While the School
Teacher Wondered.

DaFe, having CHOSEN rat cigar, be-
ing OF methodical mind, rung up FIVE
cents on the cash register and seated
himself with his heels on the stove.
He blew reflective cloud of smoke.
which, incidentally, all landed in Hi
ram James left eye When the
laughter occasioned among the com
pany by Hiram's back somersault had
died away, Dave, being king in his
own bar, began
"Talkin bout cranks and bugs,
don't know ii any of youse boys knew
Josh jerks what used to live here
way back some years. | guess We
don't. Josh was the most ALFRED
mechanical cuss | ever sot eyes upon.
an that's sayin' no few Always In.
ventin' somethin', he were, except the
way to make money, which was bad
for Josh, not to mention trade. II took
frien'ly interest in Josh, him beini
by way of distant relative of mine,
and ofttimes OF an AFTERNOON Josh
would look in an sit on that stool an
talk, not that his talk was easy to get
at, always bout triangles an dinny-
mics, which took was to do with lee
tricity.
Things was goin bad with Josh,
an | was sayin' to myself that his in
ventin' fever was bout over, when he
comes in one day wavin' great can
an plants 1t on the counter ducks
under, thinkin, it was bomb the fool
teller had, but when | sees nothin'
dom | pops up, lettin on | had been
lookin for cork, 10, Josh, says +.
Dave says he. I've got 'em hip an
thigh now. Beheld Josh jerks pat.
ent self-openin can. Trademark,
"Opens at the word O. command" -
|. 1T pears he had been readin' some
kind OF kids book Ravin' Nights,
or suthin' bout feller Ally Baby,
what found a robbers cave chockful
of gold dust an joolry, an made the
rocks open when he up an says the
password OF Open Seize Him, or some
SIGH truck. Well, Josh's idear was to
fix kin of talkin' machine to the
preserve cans, to work back'ards, We
see, 80 that when We says Open Seize
Him into a hole, the blamed thing gifts
to workin' and of pops the lid all its
own. He gifts me to say the pass
word, an I'll be hanged! if the emery
OIL thing don't give click-click an
act 'cordin to the word, Great, It
was. an lent Josh ten beans to git
1t patented, there bein' a little idear
Of me gittin' half profits.
Then Josh takes it roun' to all the
cannin' firms, an one on EN- was fool
enough to take 1t on trial, the under
standin bein' that Josh was to git ten
thousan If 1t were any good. There
was no holdin' In Josh, an he spends
all he has treatin' the boys an talkin'
bout what he was goin to do with
the cash
Soon Josh's cans We're on the mar.
| ket, an spite OF one Dutchie who
/ come seekin Johns blood, because he
near starved to death on Sunday
OWN to him bein' unable to say
opSu ocIZ6 Illul, ali went Win DbiIS.
"Then the barrel bust. Some
blamed burglar got into Deacon Walk.
er's store, where he had laid in bout
hundred dollars wuth OF canned
stuff with Josh's patent, an like 4
doggoned edyut he reads the label,
an to TO test it, says Open Seize
| Him. an blame ii all them cans
didn't begin to go OF like crackers
| The neighbors, hearin the noise, gifts
scared, thinks some yarmint is gittin'
| ready to blast GunviIle off the map
an sails into deacon's store. The
burglar gives a yell an gifts away By
back winder while the neighbors do
bout $3.50 damage chasin thro' the
store.
Deacon he comes down on the can
company, an they comes down on
Josh. | lent Josh dollar an there
! must be power of interest due, for
to this here day amt set eyes on
| Josh. That were the last heard on
him, though | guess he's fyin' air.
| ships now under nomdyplum.'
What kin OF tixin' had Josh on
| the cam" said the school teacher
Jaw, 60 on" said Dave. Another
| of them mechanical cusses. Closin
time, boys Judge.