Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1910-01-28
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( VELVET 2hl RAGS )
INDIVIDUAL oPiNioN)
( BY LUE +. VERNON J


gingerbread.
Five cafes. as conducted these
days. ruin fifty homes.
There is a world of difference be-
tween the North and South poles.
A woman isn't necessarily level.
headed because her hat is on straight
The most popular book in the
home of the wOrkingman is his bank.
book.
don't care where the flies 90 in
winter. | am content to know
they re gone.
If some people had eyes in the
back OF their heads it would save a
deal of energy.
Surely the professor had q bad ear
for music who killed himself because
the baby cried.
Faith, Hope and Charity are the
three graces. but the disgraces are
too numerous to mention.
Everybody knows where his OWL
shoe pinches. but everyone hasn'
the price to get another pair.
When sufi'ragettes obtain their goal
And vote once in a while,
How can they vote ticket straight
Ii split ones are in style?
A hen cant lay bricks and a city
can't get along without newspapers
and newspapers can't live without
support.
Klam: "I say. Starfsh, dine with
me at the house to- o-night, will you?"
Starfish; Certainly. with pleas.
ure. Will your wife expect me?"
klam: NO; that's the beauty OF
it. We had a quarrel this morning
and | want to make her mad"
A venerable professor of the Copen
hagen University sobbed aloud, saw
dispatches, when he found out the
trick played on it by DIR. Cook. He
must be the only Copenhagen pro-
fessor in the bunch that did not
swear a heap of cuss words aloud.
aside, or in some manner.
Teddy no doubt. sees now he made
big mistake in appointing Taft
President of the United States.
Imagining he - Taft would carry
out his policies. Teddy now sees
that Taft is carrying them out to the
end of the wharf, so to speak, and
dropping them into the Bay OF
Oblivion.
Last week gentleman called at
the STANDARD Office and desired to
see copy Of paper published at a
certain town on Puget Sound. He
wished to make some collections and
was after some attorneys address.
He found just one lawyers name in
the paper and gave him the business.
Now there are six attorneys in the
place, and out of that number five
were foolish and one was wise-he
kept his name before the public.
The Taft -Ballingcr clique of the
Republican party are blazing the
way for Il Democratic victory next
Presidential election. The people
are becoming aroused to the fact
that there is a "nigger in the wood
pile" of the Republican party that
must be chased out. and they believe
that the Republican insurgents
are the Overscers" who will WELD
the "blacksnakes" and "set" the
blOOdhOunds, in order to accomplish
it.
Persons who believe in luck and
signs will doubtless agree thatit is
unlucky to he struck by lightning on
Monday, or take hold of q circular
saw in motion on Tuesday, or tumble
down stairs with a coafscuttle on
Wednesday. or be hit by an automo-
bile on Thursday, or have tree fall
on you Friday, or marry girl who
swings ten-pOund duMb-bells Satur-
day, or be one of the thirteen at din
ner on Sunday where there is grub
only for ten.
Right now it seems to be Taft
Ballinger marching right along
but wait until Teddy comes back
home, and you'll see PinchOt become
an important factor in Republican
politics and as for Ballinger-O
well. Ballinger can tell the Guggen-
helms how it happened. and then he
can retire to his ranch, sit under his
own fig and vine, and as he gazes in
the Goals and embers of the fireplace
see the dim and fading sentence:
"Of all the words OF tongue or pen,
The saddest are: 1t might have been.
Zelaya did not tell his troubles tC
our marines rs was expected. In
stead he told them to the people who
eat tortillas, peppers and strun
guitars, and smoke cigarettes; art
too lazy to work, if they can possibly
avoid it; are a dirty, loathsOmelook
ing sort of humanity, and will knife