davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14

The man who doesn't feel like going
| through life spending 10 or Is cents for a
straight Havana after-dinner smoke
may find much that is helpful and cheer
ing in the habits Of one of the most
learned and eminent members of the
United States Supreme Court. Acting
Chief Justice Harlan smokes stogies lie
smokes them because he likes TO smoke
stogies, and doesn't see any reason why
he shouldn't smoke stogies
''weIl. how does Washington strike
you?" Representative Tim Ansberry, Of
Ohio, asked one of the newly elected
Congressman sworn in at the present
session.
The most noticeable things about the
town so far" said the newcomer are
the wonderful prevalence of doctors
signs. the blue window blinds, and how
little figure Congressman cuts.
When one encounters a large and dig
nified body of men ike the United States
Senate. made up. for the most part Of
men who take themselves and every
thing else seriously. and who regard life
as thing about as jolly as a coroner's
inquest, il is indeed real pleasure 10
behold member like Senator William
o. Bradley, of Kentucky. with face
that betrays a sense of humor.
II is said of the junior Senator and
former governor from the Blue Grass
State that when he was a yOungster in
school he was the most punished and
the most beloved by his teachers OF any
boy IN the county. Whenever a practical
joke had been played on the teacher, the
latter would az once make grab for
young Bradley with one hand and &
switch with the other-and as a rule the
guess was a good one. Yet Billy
Bradley was more polite. had his les
sons better prepared, and brought more
apples to the teacher than almost any
one else in the room So the teachers
scarcely knew whether TO prophesy that
he would grow up 10 occupy a place in
the United States Senate or in Jail
There was one thing certain, though,
and that was that he was not the kind
that would ever wear side whskers or
spats
One of Bradley's early teachers had q
habit of wearing low, buckied shoes all
winter. Sometimes the shoes would flop
open and come almost of On one oc-
casloh, Bradley noticed a live coal that
had popped out from the open wood fire
and the loosened shoe of the teacher at
the same time The teacher was alb
sorbed IN explaining a hare and hound
problem and Bradley managed 10 get the
I've coal on the end Of a ruler and into
TIE teachers shoe before anybody no.
uced. There was a wild whoop and the
next moment Bill Bradley got his.
Here is another incident that they tell
Of Senator Bradley's school DAYS. show
ing a different phase of his character.
he had picked a fuss with a boy named
Jimmy Moss. and Jimmy turned in and
gave Bradley a trouncing that was so
complete as to leave nothing undonA
The teacher heard OF the affair and or
dered Jimmy TO go home and consider
himself expelled from school. Quick as a
nash, Billy" Bradley began 10 pack an
MS own books. and when Jimmy started
toward the door Billy followed him
Where are you going. William, in
quired the teacher. Il haven't ordered
you expelled
No. but you've sent Jimmy Moss
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14
Virginia Primaries.

The Corporation Court of the City Of
Norfolk, Va. has ruled that the law in
that State against corrupt practices does
not apply to primary elections. The
ground OF the decision. as we understand
it. is that the title of the act is not
sufficiently broad. If this be true. the
legislature, at its next session, should
lose no time in amending 1t.
In a State which is almost soIidIy
Democratic, as Virginia is, public Off
cials and representatives are practically
chosen al the primaries. the general
elections being. in most eases, mere rati-
fcaIiOns. 1t seems worse than folly.
therefore, to surround the general cleo
tions with minute safeguards against
fraud and leave the primaries with no
legal regulation whatever. 4 recent Con
gressional primary in the Second Virginia
district was discovered, upon investiga-
ton, 20 have been grossly irregular. A
number of indictments were found
against the offending persons. but it has
now been decided that there Is no law
applicable TO their case. Petitions are 10
be presented 10 the governor, asking him
TO call an extra session to amend the
law, but it Is not thought that the gov
ernor win consent to do this, and in any
event. the amended law would not be
retroactive
To the lay mind. the intent of the
constitution and the statute appears
plain, Section IS of the constitution of
Virginia, of 1902. provides that "the gen
eral assembly shall enact such laws as
are necessary and proper for securing the
regularity and purity OF general local.
and primary elections, and preventing
and furnishing any corrupt practices in
connection herewith" The act of 1902
0s-e4. page sS3, says: IAN laws intended
20 secure the regularity and purity of
general and local elections, and to pre-
vent and punish any corrupt practices in
connection therewlth, and the penalties
and punishments now or hereafter pre-
soribed by law for such offenses, shall.
so far as they may be applicable. apply
to al primary elections. whether the
same he held under any statute law of
this State or under a plan provided by
some political party" This statute was
evidently meant 10 carry out the eonsti-
ivtiorL mandate.
At each session of the Virginia legis-
lature since the new constitution was
promulgated Bills have been introduced
providing for regular system of legal
lied primaries but all of them have
tailed OF enactment. In 1904 such a bin
PASSED tie senate and was passed IN the
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14
Clean the Streets-Now!

Washington is to-day in disgraceful,
intoierable condition as to its streets.
They are choked with snow and slush
and ice. all but impossible, a menace to
life and limb. conducive to sickness and
disease. and a shameful reflection upon
the District authorities.
Other cities are not allowed to get
into such a condition.
Well-ordered municipalities other than
Washington-and Washington is well or
dered in most things-do not submit
helplessly. throw up their hands. so to
speak, in the face of an emergency. but
meet H promptly and conquer it. Why
should the fairest and finest city in the
land, with a great government behind
it. give this -pitiable exhibition of help
lessness?
Not long ago We had words of praise
for the street-eleaning department. 1t
really seemed TO be "onto its job."- It's
record as set out in an official report
was gratifying in the extreme. But the
test of efficiency comes not under favor
able, but unfavorable conditions. It is in
an emergency that capacity tells. And
in this emergency the STRENGTHENING de-
partment, falling far short of its duty at
the start, and now apparently abandon
ing its duty altogether, has brought re-
proach upon the Capital.
There was money available to have
cleaned on the snow days ago if the
work had been taken in, hand promptly
and prosecuted vigorously. A dilatory
waiting upon Providence is responsible
for the fix the city is in. 1t is a hard
and nasty job now to put the thorough
fares in safe and presentable shape,
but Peremptory order that the job be
attended to without another hours delay
is called for by the plight we are in.
Begin cleaning the streets to-day. and
clean them!
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14
American Civic Association.

1t is TO be hoped that ali good citizens
of Washington will interest themselves
in the sixth annual meeting of the
American Civic Association. which meets
at the New Willard Hotel. December
Il. Is. and Is. The object of this associa-
ton Is the cultivation Of higher ideals
of civic life and beauty in America, the
promotion OF city, town, and nelghhor-
hood improvement, and the advance
ment of outdoor art. Through the work
of this association, through learning
what other cities, both in this country
and abroad, are doing, it is hoped 10
make living conditions in cities clean.
healthful, attractive; to abate public
nuisances, including Objectionable signs,
unnecessary poles, wires, smoking chin
neys, and so forth; to protect trees, clean
up alleys. and. in short, encourage
everything that shall make the city
better and more moral place in which
to live.
AT this sixth annual meeting there will
be read papers by many experts in ali
the branches Of endeavor with which
the Civic Association has to deal, and
from these we should learn much and
be stimulated. perhaps. to greater effort
on behalf Of Washington. For, in spite
OF the ideals some of US have in regard
to Washington the beautiful, the fact
remains that in some respects Washing
ton is hideous. We have beautiful build
ings and ideal parks. but We also have
noisome alleys and glaring billboards.
We have not learned yet. that primary
lesson in good civic government that it
pays TO keep the streets clean, and the
mud and slush that disgrace our city's
streets are an awful example to the Wis
iting tourists and legislators who dwell
with US
From this meeting of the Civic Asso-
citation it is to be hoped that we may
learn frankly of our faults and how to
correct them. Such a meeting of ex-
perts in civic government and civic mo-
rality-foF city cleanliness is surely a
power for city godliness-should be of
great benefit 10 lis all. and it is to be
hoped that it may so arouse our bust
ness men and citizens that they may de-
mand in no uncertain voice that some of
the ills under which we suffer may be
corrected, and as speedily as possible.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14
HUMAN NATURE IN WASHINGTON
By FRED C. KELLY.

home" said young Bradley, and thai
fight wasn't his fault at all, / started
the fight myself. And if he has to g
home I'm goin' along"
So they both stayed.
The school days episode recalls tbs
sportsmanlike conversation that took
place between former Gov. Bradley
and former Gov. Beckham. of Kentucky
when Bradley was elected over Beckhanl
for United States Senator
bradley says Beckham, If I had 70
be beaten, / don't know OF a Republican
I'd rather have had win out than you.
Whereupon Bradley replied: Il must
say that I'm pleased at getting elected.
but the only thing that mars my victory
is that / couldn't have been elected with
out at the same time defeating you.
Just after the Kentucky legislature
had made him Senator friend Of Brad
ley rushed up 10 congratulate him
Well" he said. II suppose this is the
happiest day OF your life"
''oh. no." Bradley told him, the hap
piest day Of my life was the day when
L wore my FIRST pair Of pants. l was
only three years old, or maybe four at
the outside, but l shall never forget it,
and while ! am not disposed TO belittle
the honor of being elected Senator, this
doesn't give me the thrill that those
first trousers did. Besides. / began a
friendship that day that lasted until the
other mans death. ! was walking along
with my hands in the pockets OF my
new pants. when / tripped and fell
down. l couldn't get my hands out OF
the pockets and couldn't get up; so |
just lay there and kicked and yelled IN
I'll man came and picked me up As a
direct consequence OF that incident I
grew up 10 be one Of that mans warm
est personal friends
Bradley has a hair-trigger wit with
about the quickest action 10 be found in
the United States Senate and envlrons.
Once he was citing some figures in sup
port of an argument he was making and
some one interrupted him with the re-
mark: Il don't understand those figures
OF yours at all
Without moment of hesitation, Brad
ley observed: ''AI / can do is furnish
you information; only God Almighty can
give comprehension"
Not long ago Bradley remarked about
a fellow-Senator; He seems to be trv-
Ing to make himself immortal by being
eternal"
Senator Bradley himself says that one
OF the best things he ever heard was the
remark OF witness in one of the first
law cases he ever tried. The dispute was
over boundary line between farms.
and az many OF the old landmarks had
been effaced, Bradley called in one Of the
Oldest residents in the community TO
offer expert testimony The witness was
a smart old chap, despite his advanced
years, but almost entirely without edu-
cation
How old are you?" asked Lawyer
Bradley, by way Of establishing the
mans competency TO testify about old
time landmarks.
Don't jest adzactly know, Billy" re-
piled the witness.
We'll. what year were YOU born IMP
Don't adZactly know that for sure.
either. / does know this much: | was
born either in 1913 or 1918; but CAN'T
be sure which"
Copyright. 1910. By Fred C. KellyJ
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14

house with amendments in which the
senate failed 10 concur. and the bin was
talked to death on the last day of the
session. Since then none of the bills in
troduced for that purpose has come to
vote in either branch OF the general
assembly. Therefore. the Virginia prima-
ries have remained mere party affairs,
conducted under plans devised by the
party committees So far as we know.
the Republicans have never held pri-
mary in Virginia
Although party primaries are better
than none. they are far from being as
satisfactory as those which are regularly
legalized. The rules which govern them
are liable TO be changed from time to
time. and the dates Of holding them may
he juggled backward or forward to suit
the interests of particular candidates.
The committees too, may assess the
candidates heavily for expenses. The
officers OF the primaries are too apt to
be partiSans selected by the committees.
They are not under any legally binding
oath. and they are not obliged to main
tain such regularity in the casting and
counting Of ballots as obtain in the reg
ular elections. There is no legal duty
as to the preservation of the poll books.
and there is no legal requirement that
they shall report the results of the
elections promptly. In case of fraud. the
aggrieved parties cannot invoke the au-
thority Of any court, but must submit
their case to a committee. which. too
often. is not inclined to judge the mat
ter impartially.
Under these conditions. il is not to be
expected that the results Of such prima-
ries viii be satisfactory. Even though
there may be no Partially or fraud.
such an election can never be wholly
free from suspicion. It is high time
that Virginia put herself in line with
those progressive States which have
worked out a thoroughly democratic
system OF direct nominations, held under
the authority of law, and surrounded by
such safeguards as have been found nee.
essary to secure honesty and regularity.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
ANY APARTMENT HOUSE.

ANY APARTMENT HOUSE.
And now the waiter
Fairly haunts
Your chair 10 cater
To your wants.
The elevator
Boy is good.
And stays up later
Than he should.
The radiator
Strange 10 say.
Alike a crater
Steams away.
The Christmas season
Is at hand
And that's the reason.
Understand
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14
Prenared for II.

81 want pair of overshoes"
''You haven't bought a pair of over
shoes for several months. Mr. Wombat -
Il know I haven't. How much have
they gone up"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14

Scattered among the new pictures which
are entered in the prize competition ars
many works by acknowledged modern
masters. These have never been seen be-
fore by the vast majority of persons
who viii visit the Corcoran Art Gallery
during the ensuing month. That the eff
feet Of improving the public taste for art
viii be widespread there is not the least
doubt
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14
Saving Time.

What show shall we take in tonight
wifeT''
I'm try TO make UP my mind between
now and dinner
Make up your complexion at the same
time; viii your
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14

From HaFpeT's weekly.
The best lighthouse on the Pacific coast
of Central America is a volcano. Il is
several miles inland from the port OF
Acajutla. in the republic of Salvador.
and is so active that It serves as a per
petual beacon for vessels In that part
Of the ocean. The volcano is the prop
erty OF the government and fine source
Of revenue The republic OF Salvador
collects lighthouse fees from every vessel
that drops anchor al Aeajutla. just as
though 1t had established and maintained
the volcano at great expense as guide
10 mariners.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14

The Secretary Of the Treasury says that
American travellers are more and more
realizing the indefensibleness Of SNUG
Cling. Especially since most Of them
have been caught at it.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14

An attorney in Pennsylvania declines to
accept an extra thousand dollars in sal
airy because his conscience win not per-
nit. There is one lawyer who has mis-
taken his vocation.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14

There seems to be a pretty good move
ment 10 unite on Washington as a COM
promise place for holding the Panama
Canal Exposition. Is We would only get
together on that proposition.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14

II is getting about time for you to re-
serve your Christmas eve table at a fash
ionable restaurant. so that your neighbors
can see that you have money.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14

Who can blame people for having slight
regard for the judicial mind when staid
judges are worried over the question as
to whether a baby carriage is a pleasure
vehicle
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14

One OF the worst things about the rub
Der trust is that it helps 10 make the
feet Of pretty women look so awkward.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14
Why.

Your modern citizen is wise;
He trusts the doctors skin.
And why should he take exercise
When he can take a pill?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14
From the New YOrk ETening Posi-.

From the New YORK Evening Post
Consolation prizes. in the form Of stt0neyShips.
have been awarded 70 tWo defeated candidates IN
Chicago. the oaly Democratic nominees in the
county who failed Of election. Attached % the
award is the altogether reasonable condition that
Il sucvssful contesss are instituted for the placss
10 which Republicans have apparently been elected,
the arrangement viii b. nullifed
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14

1t was all wrong 10 arrest a Kentucky
girl and call her insane just because she
imagined she was a princess. According
to "Marse" Henry. they are all prineesses
down there
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14

Prohibition has It's casualties as well as
strong drink. Twelve men going from
dry Vicksburg to get a drink on an
island were drowned on the way over.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14
Free with Her Misses

Broke OFF the affair? Why. she said
she could learn to love you
''She may have learned all right, but
she was too fond OF giving lessons to
other fellows
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14
Nothing Useful.

II detest useful presents
you won't have any cause to complain
on that score. daughter. Your father is
going to buy you a duke
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14

An instance of the evils that ensue from
our growing luxury is that Chicago pick
pocket who was identified by means Of
his pocket handkerchief.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14
rrnm the philadeIrhia E.

From the Philadelphia Record.
Hereafter active seasojng officers are To Be con
suited as 10 whether the advantage of Practically re
building oteolesont ships would be c0mmeDurate
with the cost. The Secretary Of the Navy has also
introduced a competitive system Of accelerating en-
cheering efficiency and Of promoting economy in the
Use Of supplies and material which be says resulted
IN a saving Of $1,000 Per ship last year. and viii
cause an additional saving OF S,5O.0D in the cur.
rent year
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14

We are said 70 be threatened with an
epidemic OF pOliomyelitis. II il is half
as bad as it sounds, it is a terror.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14

New York doctor says that bad
egg IS just as nutritious as a good one
Oh, much stronger. really, doctor,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14

Oscar Hammerstein says that the rea-
son Chicago would not stand for Mary
Garden in 'Salome" was because Chicago
women wear flannels. But we can't see
what that has TO do with it,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14

The fashion plates call the new style
the aeroplane gown, but II looks sus-
pioiously like the Mother Hubbard of
yore.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14
A Plain story.

My life story is not so romantic as
some, but it's true one"
Let it come
Thirty years ago I started without a
dollar. and now ] have $50 in bank"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14

Those who want TO make the open
door policy popular have only 10 hang a
bunch of mistletoe over the transom.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14
GettinE Bnck.

'gr'Irn about Is fair enough"
How noB?''
Several vaudeville players are threat
ening to so into baseball.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14

Our idea OF a real optimist is the man
who can forget the slush and snow by
turning to the baseball page and reading
about what the baseball team is going to
do in the spring.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14

The best way to have white Christ
mas is 10 do the white thing by every
body.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14

new republic of Portugal. The treasury
IS empty.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14

There "a che passage in the Presidents message
which win scarcely De relishsd BY the business men
Of the United States Ii Is stated that the great
BODY Of such men those who are responsible for
the eouHtry's commercial development, nov have
an earnest desire TO obey the Law" Do not nks
that little word INV"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14
POLITICAL POTPoURRT.

From the Ohio State Journal
Col. Bryan SEEMS 10 run every year except Demo
cratic one.
From the Philadelphia Inquire
Does Ar. TaEney presume that any nation hat
hApponed 70 BE- al var with US would sit quietly
down and cuRcede right TO the use Of the csnall
Does he suppose that We in our turn would as
quietly permit hostile nation TO fling its hattie
shiIs Though that canal for our own dessrucsionf
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-14


High schools win in time have TO
adopt the broader and more liberal So
cial life enjoyed by students at the uni
versities," said Dean Johnson. of the
Chicago University High School, VINO
was in this city recently. The social
life of the average high school student is
sadly neglected. both at home and in the
school. When boys and girls enter the
university they should be equipped not
only technically and accidentally. but
should possess the same degree of culture
in conversation, manners, and social con-
ventions. The greatest advantage OF a
university training is that it gives the
student a certain dignity and manner
which stamp him as refined.
r. II. Pratt a business man of Phfia-
delphia. here for few days attending the
Rivers and Harbors Congress. bears a
striking resemblance TO John d. Rookie
Teller. and caused about a dozen people
TO walk UP TO the desk at the New VII
lard to inquire If the well-known oil re-
finer was in town Mr.. Pratt says that
when he was younger he used to be taken
for the late President Mckinley every
where he went. His resemblance To the
Gil man has come within recent years.