davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18
Active Retired Naval Officers.

Those who follow military-naval per-
sonnet legislation with an appreciation of
the consistencies Of the statutes in that
particular have been impressed with the
widely varying conditions pertaining to
the status Of officers and their relation TO
the service. One of these irregularities.
If it may be called such. has to do with
the employment on active duty Of retired
officers. In the army there is a restric-
ton in this particular which makes it
out OF the question TO detail officers above
the grade OF major. In the navy there is
no such Limitation, although ii has been
made known that the policy OF the Navy
Department was to recall from active
duty as many retired officers as possible.
Orders which have been issued within a
week or two. however, indicate that the
retention in active service of retired Off
GERS is viewed with more favor under this
than under the preceding administration.
Two rear admirals of the retired list will be
on active duty. which shows disposition
to valve a rule that seems to be justified
by all consideration and is countenanced
by the plan of the Navy Department to have
younger officers in responsible positions.
One Of these notable exceptions is Rear
Admiral E. H. C. Leutze, who has been
a most efficient commandant OF the Wash
ington Navy Yard and superintendent of
the naval gun factory at that establish
ment He now succeeds to the command
of the very important navy yard at
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

From the Cutters Book.
It was at the cross roads grocery and
the boys were trying to Guido each other
in swapping fish stories. The big fish
that swallowed the little fish on the hook;
the lost watch found in a pickerers
stomach; the fish that got a jag; the min
now that swan through the bunghole OF
a barrel and grew so big he couldn't get
out. and all the other venerable yarns
had been told, but old Bill Jones had
remained silent
"Giye US a story, Bill" said somebody.
Don't know nothing that would stand
Up with them you've tOld'' said Bill
'Strangest thing that ever happened 10
me was when lent 81 Perkins my hull
darn fishing outfit"
What was that?" they exclaimed
"Oh, nothing. 'cept that 81 returned
everything all o. X and had given my
rod a coat OF varnishi'
Then the meeting broke up
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18
WHERE LOVE is.

The wolf came along and he sat by my door.
And he scratched and he howled with terrible roa
That wakened the neighbors, but spite Of his din,
He never was heard by the dwellers within;
For spite Of his yowl and in spite Of his scTeech
sat there inside quite outside If his reach;
For Love was ms guest,
And a guest 50 fair
That I didn't cen hear
Mr.. Wolf cut there!
The winter winds came with their whitening blast,
And over the world an ice-mantle was cast.
The rivers frOze up and down By the sea
The rocks we're a vision Of bleak misery;
But never a chill entered in at my door.
And never a note Of old Boreas' roar;
For Love was my guest,
And r guest so warm
That cared not jot
For the trumpeting stcrmi
Tho mists hid the SIN from the sight Of the day.
And over the world VAS shadow Of gray.
All hushed was the snrg Of the caroling lark.
And the earth lay chilled in the gathering dark;
But deep in my soul was no trace OF the night,
For deep in my heart was a harvest Of light:
For Love was my guest
And a guest 20 gay
! saw but the flowers
On the dark highway.
o Love is guest that viii kin all care.
And Love Is immune to all dark despair,
And Love is a cure for the lack Of gold
And Love is screen from the winters cold,
And Love is the source cf a golden strelm
That lghtens the soul with lustrous gieam-
Where Love is guest
There viii come no fear.
And the darkest ways
Are the roads 70 Cheer.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18


From the New York sun.
I got the best Of a panhandler the
other day. said a man who works in the
neighborhood of Wall street, land the
memory Of it tickles me yet A poor.
dlsheveled specimen of humanity ap-
preached me and begged a meal.
Il took him into a little restaurant and
ordered steak and potatoes, onions and
all the trimmings that appeal to a hungry
man. For myself ordered a very hum
bic luncheon. When the food was
brought the man made believe he was
very hungry. but he quit after getting
away with about 3 cents worth. I asked
him what was the matter and he said
he wasn't feeling very well.
He spurted up again for moment
only and then laid down his knife. I
finished my meal, paid the check. and
went out. The panhandler started to
thank me and walked away, but I grab
bed him by the arm,
Do you see that cop down the street?
I asked him. Yes, his eyesight was good.
Well, my turn comes now 1 con-
tinued. You fork over the 80 cents
paid for your meal or I will turn you
over to the con-.
Without an instant's hesitation he
dug down in his pockets and pulled out
a roll of bills and a little bag of change
ii must have been nearly $50 all together
and counted out % cents. let him go
then, but never will trust TO appearances
again"
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18
Microscopic Measurement.

From the New York American.
The measurement of microscopic OBJ
jects is done by rulings on glass. which
are produced by wonderfully delicate ma
chimes. These rulings are constructed so
as to accurately divide an inch or any
other unit Of measurement into any de-
sired number Of parts, as. for instance,
1-1o0 of an inch or 1-10c0 of an inch. or
even 1-10,000 Of an inch. The finest rul-
ings thus far produced by any of the
machines are at the rate of something
like 100000 to the inch Some idea of the
closeness Of the ruled lines can be OBJ
tanned from considering that 1000 such
lines would occupy only the space In
cluded in the thickness Of a sheet of ordi-
nary writing paper.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18
A Mighty Political POw.wOw.

Norman Mack and Charles ]. Murphy
have their heads together at Hot Springs.
Ark. engaged In a mighty pow-wow over
the Democratic outlook.
Bits of information indicating the trend
of their powerful minds in this moment
Gus crisis is leaking OUT froFa time to
time. and the country waits for more
with bated breath. Their keen intellects.
lit appears. are focused upon Harmon,
.Culberson. and Gaynor. the while these
three good Democrats develop Preslden-
tial availability by attending strictly to
their political knitting.
Incidental to the pow-wow proper. but
quite as important, Roger Sullivan and
John P. Hopkins are likewise focusing
their keen and powerful intellects upon
the same Democratic trio aforementioned
by way OF assisting I'm the appraisement.
Tom Taggart, inopportunely called upon
to prove the good moral character of
his French Lick resort. was denied part
in the focusing thus initiated by Mack
and Murphy and taken up by Sullivan
and Hopkins, but is now at liberty TO put
his keen intellect at work also.
Shall Harmon. Culberson, or Gaynor
carry the standard In 1872? The leakage
from Hot Springs does not yet disclose.
How is Bryan to be kept from getting
a finger IN the pie and Organism sent TO
the junk shop? Mack and Murphy give
no sign. Sullivan and Hopkins keep the
secret to themselves, and as for Taggart,
NUNS the word
Meanwhile. with this pow-wowing go
ing on at Hot Springs and this moment
Gus focusing of political inteIlects IN
evidence elsewhere. Harmon is rounding
up the rascals in Ohio and proving every
inch a governor. Culberson is pursuing
the even. dignlfed. and self-effacing tenor
Of his way, and Gaynor is giving Greater
New York a decidedly business-lIke ad-
ministration. Any one Of the trio is big
enough to run for President, no doubt
Things political are shaping up in a way
that already seems to promise the Demo-
Gratis an opportunity to win. That oppor-
tunity may improve as time goes on.
But If there be bright prospects ahead.
il is in spite of the bulg'ng Macks, the
irrepressible Murphys. the scheming Sui
livans, the willy Hopkinses, and the
smiling Taggarts, who have taken upon
themselves the shaping of the party's
destinies. and thus serve but to empha-
size the low estate TO which Democracy
has fallen.
The less the country hears about such
Hot Springs DOW-WOWs the more quickly
will it come to hold in respect and con-
fdence the men the Democratic party
has to offer as candidates and the Demo-
cratic party itself.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

From the Richmond TimeSDisTatch
Now he is coming back, ana the long,
long weary day is about to pass away.
In the leafy month OF June we shall
greet him If we do not meet him, and
dull care will take to the bushes. Al
ready there are omens in the air. Al
ready the wicked and slothful servants
who have been sleeping while the master
has been away are astir. Taft has re-
sumed his travels. Wtckersham is hot
footing il after the Standard Oil Com
pany, John d. has resolved to give all
his money away. just sc, and Andy Car
negie is making his preparations 10 leave
the country. After a bit, there viii ba
only one brave figure left. Pinchot. the
Faithful. stern in his integrity, immov-
able in his impeecability. strong with the
strength of a whelp waiting only for the
king of the jungle to suecor him In his
desperate fight for the conservation OF
our natural resources. law or no Iaw,
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18
Not Caught Up.

From the Brooklyn Life.
A man who was travelling the Ozark
Mountains on horseback stopped before
typical Arkansas farmhouse to inquire
the way.
WHATS the news?' asked the noun
taineer, as he leaned his lank frame
against the fence and pulled his long
beard thoughtfully
On finding that what had become a part
of history was news to him. the trav-
eler asked why he did not take some
weekly or monthly periodical. that he
might keep in touch with the world at
large.
Wall" said the old native. when my
pa died, nine years ago. he left me a
stack of newspapers that high"--indicat-
ing height of about three feet-"and
amt done readin' of 'em yet"
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18
Changing Four Bits.

From the New York Sun.
TRY Tony. the Greek fruiterer." said
the resourceful friend TO the man with
the counterfeit half dollar that he eouldn't
get rid of. Hes very accommoda
about relieving a fellow of bad money.
You won't have TO buy anything either.
Just tell him you want nickel for car
fare"
The man marched up to Tony's cash
register and carefully laid down the 50
cent piece.
"Can you give me change for this?'
he said blithely. Il want a couple Of
nickels for carfare
Sure" said Tony, and counted out two
nicl1els and four dimes.
The man raked in his change. Half a
block away frSn1 the store he stopped to
look at it. well. I'll be iiggered." he
said The dimes were Canadian and the
nlckels were plugged,
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18
SAMPLE OF CHINESE JUSTICE.
Offending Foreigners Are, However,
safeguarded Against Torture.


Prom the Boston Transcript
The administration of justice in China,
in which term Is included the collection
Of evidence. is stin attended on occa-
sion by torture. It is necessary that
this should be borne in mind in view of
the demand which is put forward by
the Chinese for the abolition of extra
territoriality in the empire. At present
a foreigner offending against the laws
is tried by a court formed by his own
consul and under the laws of his own
country. On the abolition of this safe
guard he would become amenable 20 the
Chinese procedure. What this procedure
sometimes is may be gathered from the
following:
A little time ago a prisoner in the
Chinese court at Shanghai was awarded
over 5000 blows with the bamboo for
having appealed to the foreign consuls
for protection since he had been arrested
illegally within the limits OF the foreign
settlement of Shanghai. The Chinese
newspaper, the National Review, a jour
nal of considerable standing. published
a report of the case in the yamen, or
court of the district magistrate, at SUI
chau, OF which the following is a sum-
mary: The authorities arrested a kid
napper at Yuenwo, and brought him
to the district magistrate for trial. He
stated that he was native Of Hupeh,
aged thirty-one. and was formerly a sol
der As the prisoner did not admit the
charge OF kidnapping, the magistrate
ordered that the bamboo be admins
tered. The accused was. however, found
to be a woman. and the magistrate, be-
coming very angry. ordered his men to
give her several hundred lashes on her
bare back. The woman's story was that
her husband had died several years ago.
and, being unable to support herself.
she dressed in mans clothes and Joined
the army. The prisoner was sentenced
10 strangulation for dressing in mans
clothes and thereby lowering the public
morality.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18
HOUSE REVOLUTION!

Hon. Joseph G. Cannon doth not, like
Colossus, bestride the world" nor ever
the House OF Representatives. He never
did.
It was all a fancy.
As Speaker, he doeth that only which
the majority. however made up. empow-
ers. directs. or permits him to do under
rules which that majority can unmake Oh
set aside at will He cannot control the
House unless that body elects to give
him control. He never could.
It was all a dream
The majority Is ruling on Capitol Hill
to-day. as it has ever ruled. There has
been change in the past forty-eight
hours in the makeup of the majority-a
radical and significant change-but the
principle remains undisturbed.
Heretofore. the House has been con-
trolled-tyrannically, perhaps-by a COM
pact, invincible organization of Republl-
cans constituting the majority. For two
legislative days. the second not yet
ended. the House has been controlled
not tyrannicalIy, perhaps. but success
fully-by a hastily improvised organiza-
ton of Republicans and Democrats con-
shutting the majority. And the end is
not in sight
It is an object lesson which the coun-
try cannot fail to heed-an unpleasant
vindication, indeed. of Uncle Joe. who
doth not. as ali can plainly see. like
Colossus, bestride the world"
Party regularity. for the time being.
goes to smash. Insurgency takes sub
stance and form. Menacing words bear
fruit in hostile acts. Grievances md vent
in the name of the Constitution. The
partisan whip is cracked in vain. But
the majority rules-a majority made up
Of antagonistic forces united, for the mo-
ment. to inaugurate new methods of pro-
cedure.
It may mean reform, as It certainly
means independence, but it also undoubt-
eddy portends revolution. How legislative
chaos is TO be averted under such a
combination none can now foreten, but
we are not pcssimistio enough TO believe
that the orderly transaction Of public
business will not soon ensue.
Congress has had no situation akin to
this in a quarter of a century. That it
viii ultimately make for the general good
we have not the least doubt. It in
wolves a system. rather than men. It Is
the culminatiOn Of a protest made for
midable by the onslaughts of the press.
Whether the House organization. typified
by the Speaker, is what the country
thinks it is, or not, obviously 1t Is now
being put TO the crucial test. It is en-
gagged in the fight of its life. And, since
it was bound to come. Why not now, as
we'll as a little while later?
The country viii know more about Con-
gress and Cannonism before the struggle
is over, and VIII get its knowledge first
hand Therefore. profit is sure to come
out Of this object lesson.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18
War Talk Makes War.

From the New York Mail
Talk war long enough. and you will get
war. 1t viii come up over the bIandest
horizon of international unity. Put il
into the mind Of your own people, and
1t will communicate itself to the mind Of
other people. Stage another nation in
the role Of assailant. and sooner or
later it viii accept the role. Get popular
sentiment on both sides straining and
suspicious. and it viii force the hands OF
governments anxious to keep the peace.
Nowadays peoples make wars, not gov
ernments. Public sentiment holds the
sword. What crime 1t is, in pure wan
tonness. TO whet and brandish it
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

March IS is the day in which innocula-
ton was first practiced in England in
lis. The day in which the stamp act was
repealed by the British Parliament In
1865; the birthday Of John c. Calhoun,
the statesman d7S2); Samuel Hunt. the
eminent clergyman Os10; Grover Cleve-
land QSSD; the Duchess OF Argyle 0s4s).
and the anniversary of the death of Ed
ward, king and martyr (970; Sir Robert
Walpole. the English statesman d747
and Rev Laurence sterne, the English
humorist. who wrote Tristan Shandy"
Q76S).
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18
Nnt Yet. hut soon.

From the Central Law Journal
A gentleman lying on his deathbed was
questioned by his inconsolable prospec-
tive widow
Poor Nike, said she. 'is there any
thin that wud make ye comfortable?
Anythin We ask for I'll get for We"
PHASE. Bridget" he responded. II t'ink
I'd like a wee taste of the ham I smell
a-boilin' IN the Kitchen"
"ArTah. go on" responded Bridget
Devil a bit OF that ham yen get. 'Tis
for the wake"
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

why should British noblemen hesitate
about voting themselves out Of the House
Of Lords? They do not draw any pay"
says the Cleveland Plain Dealer. The i'm
preston prevails that the pay is the
smallest thing about the jobs held by
some members of our American House OF
Lords
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

The idea that the Republicans should
deliberately lose the next House in order
TO capture the Presidency in 1912 may
seem novel at first blush. but there is
something in 1t. It might prove TO be a
fine sacrifice hit, so to speak.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

II am dissatisfied with your account
of my discovery" declared the scientist.
II told you that It would be impossible
to exaggerate the Importance Of this dis
covery.''
''WeIl?" said the reporter.
You didn't try"
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

II is gratifying to learn that the Phila-
delphia police have managed thus far to
protect the city hall from the fury Of
the mob A new city hall probably would
cost Philadelphia taxpayers four or five
times what it would be worth.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

Hon Hoke Smith is very anxious for
all of his friends to register. Wonder
why?" speculates the Columbus (Ga.)
Inquirer-Sun. Perhaps the Hon. Hoke
is secretly interested in the manufacture
Of white paper.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

Having visited practically every other
place on the face OF the habitable earth
recently, DR., Cook is returning 10 little
old New York. And New York is. per-
haps the most promising field in the
world for the exploitation Of DR.. Cook S
peculiar talents
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

councils of the Democratic party. We
imagine as much. Besides. Messrs. Mack
and Murphy are not exactly in control
OF the necessary freeze out" machinery,
are they?
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

The Philadelphia Public Ledger charac-
terizes a recent statement in the Outlook
as "an abominable SANDER" For the
sake Of peace. let US hope 1t was not a
statement from the contributing editor!
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

wives Have Met. by Nat" Good
win, is attracting considerable attention
throughout the country. Lillian Russell,
also. might get into the six best sellers
class with a volume or two about hus-
bands she has met
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

A mule named Maud kicked a bear to
death near Huntington. Pa. the other
day. This could not have been the orig
inal comic supplement Maud. Her one
speciality is kicking human beings.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

That Virginia minister who recently ad-
monished his flock not to make a vulgar
display of their wealth must have seen
some member of the congregation carry
ing home a pound Of steak the day
before.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

Mr.. John W. Gates says he does not
wish to be governor OF Texas. Perhaps
Mr. Gates is one OF those cheerful per-
sons who never wish for anything they
know they cannot get.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18
Usually the Case.

From Smart Set.
Did your wealthy old uncle leave
many heirlooms?"
'Oh, yes. A new heir looms up almost
every week"
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

"Ny daughter is engaged to a young
fellow and I'd like to find out something
about him."
That's easy. Can't you get him men
toned for some fairly prominent Office
that is vacant?"
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

"They say that vegetation runs riot
along the Amazon. Battles imagination.
so to speak"
'Oh. don't know Looks about Ike
an Easter hat, l judge"
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

For shouting "Firen' in a crowded
theater. a Cleveland (Ohio) man was
fined heavily and sent TO Jail for thirty
days. Fortunately. that is all of the
story there Is to tell
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

Seems to me Congressman Wombat
wastes time"
'As to how?"
Yesterday he got fifteen minutes In
which to discuss the hog industry Of his
district. and spent ten of them complain
ing about certain crowned heads Of
Europe"
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

Wei. it's after midnight I must
hustle home"
"oh. your wife doesn't walt up for
you does she?"
NO; but she'll be getting in from her
bridge club pretty soon"
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18
30 TotaI EcIinsc fnr n
Yery susnicious Conduct.

From the Charleston Evening Post
Beware Of a paper bag with brick IN IT, A
railroad corporation Of Brooklyn IS begging the gov
eminent 70 tax its income
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

Mr.. Bryan returns on May 1, Halley's
comet brushes by on May IS. and Con-
gress proposes TO adjourn on June 1.
Everything VIII be cleared away for
Bwana Tumbos return. apparently. ex-
cepting the Jeffries-Johnson mix-up.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

1t has been determined that a 81 bill
contains, on the average, fifteen times as
many germs as a $50 bill. The common
people seem to get it in the same old
place every time.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

Mai Hemphill IS striving manfully to
create the impression that Richmond Is
a sort OF Charlestonesque city.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

Just what it was the late Senator
Plat charged against the late President
Harrison probably already has been for
gotten by nineteen-twentieths Of the peo-
pie who read the story.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

George Bernard Shaw says he is coming
to America Ito be insulted." And George
expects to pocket the insults. too.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

In applying to Congress to show him
how to spend his money, Mr.. Rockefeller
certainly applied to the worlds greatest
expert
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

We shall never believe Mr.. Carnegie is
sincere in his desire to get rid of his mill
lions until he engages extensively In
chicken farming.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

The optimist sees the pork chop.
observes the Louisville Courier-Journal
Wherefore. It is no wonder he is an
optimist
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

That Missouri calf has swallowed that
stick of dynamite again. This, in all
well-regulated newspaper offices, invari-
ably is regarded as final and conclusive
proof that spring has arrived
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

Honestly. now. just between ourselves:
Are you keeping tab on the Ballinger-
Pinchot hearing?
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

We have an idea that the oldest In
habitant business is to be very active in
Africa for the next hundred years or so.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18
The Day After.

This head alike a rusty stove,
These burning lips that parch,
Are melancholy remnants OF
The nth Of March.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

Mr. Peary seems to be finding the
sunny South more or less north polish in
the matter of enthusiasm.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18
A.LITTLE NONSENSE.
sTYLEs IN WEATHER.

STYLES IN WEATHER.
OF weather we observe examples
Through the year
But busy March has all the samples;
That is clear.
Snow in winter. heat in summer.
Rain in fall
March has samples. IKE a drummer,
OF them all.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

Prof. Lowell says that Halleys comet.
while imposing enough in form. Is really
inconsequentiaI in substance. So much
like the average political platform.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-18

Khartoum is described in q cable as "a
stuffy, sleepy place A sort of Pullman
Khartoum, perhaps.