The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1910-01-07

We'll, what's the joker
why, the funny part is that man
WHO writes jokes should have whole
quarter with him at one time. '--Nery
York Times.
NoveIists and Love.
Charles Lever believed that novelists
should retire or at all events refrain
from writing love stories in due sea-
son. In his fifty-ninth year the author
of Charles O'Malley" writes to his
publisher "yhat you hint about real
love story is good. but don't forget
that Thackeray said that no old man
must pirate about love- l remember
the Duke of Wellington once saying 10
me, referring to Warren's Ten Thou
sand Year 1t is not that he never
had ten thousand a year, but he never
knew man who had AS to writing
about love from memory. it is Ike
counting over the banknotes Of bank
long broken. They remind you of
money, It is true, but they're only
waste paper. after all."-Iondon Mail.
When Coin Turns Green.
II suppose you catch many fish that
are not good for food" remarked a
lawyer to a fisherman.
"Oh, yes" was the reply. "Some-
times knows 'em by sight, sometimes
DON'T. OF course when / recognize
the undesirable ones l throw 'em back
in the water or kill 'em, but when in
doubt / wait until get home. Then I
dress 'em and put 'em in q spider
with silver quarter over the kitchen
fire.
What's the quarter for:''
''If the coin does not change color
the fish is good to eat. but if it turns
green the fish is poisonous and. of
course, unfit for New York
Press.
His Prize Winning Story.
The Englishman was asked to speak
at the Al Fresco Dining club. He
arose, stuck his monocle in his eye and
told this story:
Il was In Chicago at dinnah, you
know" said he, ,wheah they were 10
give prize for the best story. One
fellah got up and told story and sat
down: another told another story aud
sat down. don't you know; then they
asked ne TO tell story. 1 arose and
began:
IL am an Englishman with a sense
Of humOr,'
''And to my aniaZement they gave
me the prize before | could say an
othah word. You see what l mean?'-
New York Press
What Became of the Ciermont?
The final whereabouts of the his
toric vessel remains mystery. 1t
has been asserted that she was finally
transported as the Henrietta to the
Cape Fear river, North Carolina, where
Fulton himself as early as 1919 had
suggested the formation of steam
navigation company. Another author
ity, Mr.. ] Seymour Bullock. states
that the boat was broken up when fur
Their important Improvements rendered
her antiquated shape and construction
unequal to the increased traffic upon
the river and that the ribs" of the
huh were used under the wharf in
Jersey City. where the Seeor foundry
built monitors during the civil war
Alice Crazy Sutcliffe in Century.
A Human Alarm Clock.
ot,o1 III of no .sn1zs
means in the world of earning a living
is that OF the window Taper of Not
ting Hill. England, who is. figuratively
speaking. a human alarm clock. r.
is employed by many persons whose
business compels them to start work
in the early hours of the morning. and
his hours are from a. III. until 4. n.
He makes his rounds on tricycle.. and
he rattles at the windows of his eli
ents with a jointed fishing rod. His
rattle is more persistent than that Of
an alarm clock and will not cease until
he is certain that the person is not
only awake, but out of bed. Thus he
makes sure that his patrons will not
sleep again Popular Mechanics.
Breaking Things.
A certain well known member Of
congress has a house down in Wash
,ington- One of the fixtures of the
place is an old negro servant named
Sally Ann. In the congressmans pres
ence one Sunday morning she broke a
big cut glass dish ut the sideboard.
what have you broken now, you
black mushfinger" yelled the
member, who possesses very express
i've vocabulary
Sally Ann was quite unnerved, but
she replied very humbly:
.'Tain't de 10th comman dmens.
l,ress de I.awd" PHILADELPHIA Ledger.