The Alaska citizen., 1910-08-13
HOW II LOOKED ID
 THE STROLLER

for Congressional Representative from Alaska. Greeting
 h view of the fact that the Stroll cr has had the privilege of meeting all three of you within the past few days and. in view of the further fact that the Stroller was a past master in the game of politics while you three were vet in rhc primer class he deems it his Christian duty to give you a few pointers which, if closely followed may greatly en- nance your standing among the yot- CTS which a prominent Alaskan dcs- ignates as Rough Necks.
 The Stroller realizes that cam paiguius ill Alaska. especially in that part of the district where whisky costs 2r cents pr drink is fraught with considerable hardship. This fact. taken in connection with the further consideration that the aver age Rough Neck" has a prodigious thirst. makes campaigning in Alaska more matter of finance than of political issues.
 Another thing in this connection must le considered and that is that for each voter there are probably four foreigners who cannot vote but who can drink all the whisky the candidate can buy Thus is the campaign sack" drained and but few results are realized. BHt the caudi- date who invites only voters to name their pizeu," will be looked upon as a cheap skate and even the voters will repudiate him. t is best. therefore. 10 buy for all
 Again some of these fool Rough Necks" actually have the presump- ton to think for themselves and many of them win drink your whisky and vote for the other fellow.
 Iu campaigning on the creeks, do aa' be afraid 10 shuck your coat and dc turn al "shoveliug in while the voter takes a smoke If he invites you mp to the house and there is a lady cook there. do not be too mquisiriye about how long they have been married Some fel- lows never have any sense about such delicate matters. Don't be a goat
 If yoH strike a house where there is a baby; even if it's ears are not mates and il looks like Pitcairn Mike who has lay on an adjoining claim. don't appear 10 notice anything wrong Chuckle fl under the chin and say it has the lovely complex ion of is ma and the intellectually shaped head of its pa. Tell the wo- man you have sure receipt 10 prevent dishes from sticking to the oiIcloth table covering which you will send her when you get home, Before leaving quietly ask the voter. Where did you annex that charming little womau?' Say ii. even if she has a face like a bull pup,
 If you drop into a roadhouse for a meal where there are a lot of voters, say something" before go ing to the dining room. If they are Rough Necks," eat pie with your knife, pour coffee into the saucer be- fore drinking it. wipe your mouth on the tablecloth, if there is one, and say Them goshderned beans were cooked exactly to my liking"
 Avoid speechmaking. There is an average of only one man in every thousand who can make speech and the Stroller opines that none of you three is that one man.
 Be ready to shake the bones with the barkeeper for dollar a flip even if you know the dice is loaded It will give you a reputation of being sport.
 Be Methodist, Presbyterian, Hardshell Baptist or Freethinker as occasion demands. Better still Say you are one and your wife is the other three.
 If the voter comes out fiatfooted and asks you to buy his vote, take slow note from him. Then the other fellow can't have you pinched for bribery. A slow" nore means that it is payable on Jordans stormy strand
 Hold a membership in all the unIOns. If you can't be an active member of the squawmens union, get on the honorary list, but don't abuse your privilege.
 The Stroller is sorry to tell you that two of you are bound to be defeated, but to the winner he has 2 request to make and that is that certain man whose name will be revealed later must be appointed post master of the new tow of lditarod. Tn man in question owes the Stroller some money and as he is too lazy to work, the only chance to ever get it is to have the fellow ap- pointed to some government job.
 P. S.-There are several Alaskan VotarC now DlaVa6 in tbic vipip