The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1910-02-02


Bowser as she took up her book again.
According to Mr.. Bower.
"But my way is the way-the CON-
mon sense way. Blight at the table
before the cook not long ago you said
that something was indicative of
something. Where did you get your
authority for pronouncing indicative
that way?"
"I never heard it called your way.
and the dictionary gives it,
Never you mind about that infer
nal old dictionary. as l have warned
you before. 1 believe speak the Eng
Iish language. l believe l know how
to pronounce words. Because old Noer
Webster or some other ass got up a
dictionary must We pronounce after
him?'
His name was No-ah." protested
Mrs. Bowser.
But why does everybody pronounce
it No-er. then?'
Nobody does, at beast DO one but
you"
woman, don't lose your temper. 1t
is my duty as your husband to see
that you don't humil;ate Us before
company. have long wanted to
speak to you about the way You pro-
nounce the word piano. You con-
stantly call it pee-an-o. Why DO you
do such a senseless thing?'
Because don't want felix's to take
me for an idiot. Pee-an-o Is correct"
Never! Never In this world! No
person with the brains Of chickadee
In his head ever gives it that pronun-
citation. Why should he? You don't
say pees for pies. do you7 You don't
say peek for pike. You don't say pre-
vate for private. Then why should
you give your tongue a twist on pt-
an-ow
Because the dic''-
'Stopv shouted Mr.. Rowser as he
pounded on the arm Of his chair with
his fist I'll heave the dictionary
into the fire if you mention 1t again.
Two weeks ago you said you'd got to
90 down to the li-rop-o-dist's and get
your corn attended to. Did you 60 to
a brass foundry or harness max
ers?'
"You know didn't"
"Then I take it that you went to a
chir-op-o-dist, and why didn't you say
you were going there? What did you
want to twist the word all out Of shape
for?"
Mrs. Bowser was silent
"And three Or four weeks ago you
and another lady attended matinee
at what you called the Beezhou the
! ater. wasn't feeling very we'll at the
time or I should have spoken about it
then. You called it matin-ay. Give
me your authority for it."
'aThe whole world"
| "You mean a few tongue tied idiots.
| A matinee is a matinee, and you can't
| make anything else out Of it. Do you
| call the Pedee river the Peeday? And
the name Of the theater-Bijou spells
| Biiou, and there's no tzhou' about It. |
am talking for your benefit. under
stand. It hurts me to hear you make
| such breaks"
! Mrs. Bowsor Wins.
| "Ard It hurt me to hear yoa use the
| word nashun a few days ago" retort-
ed Mrs. Bowser.
| "And nashun Is the proper pronun-
citation"
Il deny It. The dictionary
Mr.. Bowser sprang to his feet, and
| his color came and went. For long
minute there was silence. Then be
said:
Woman. Don't drive me to the
wall"
"And you called It talte de hoty."
Mrs. BowSer"-
And you say Napoleon for Na-po-
leon."
Mr.. Bowser choked and gasped-
".And you say Chiny for China"
More chokcs and gasps.
"And you pronounce it Virginny."
woman, is it possible that you
know who you are talking to?'
1T is, and you say hain't In place OF
have not
Are you through"
NO, sir. You said the other day OF
man that he was blase instead OF
/ blawsay. And I've heard you say that
! a woman was passy instead Of passay.
| And you call it de-trop instead Of de-
tro. And you call 1t debut instead OF
dabue. If you won't 80 by the dc
tionary'-
Mr.. Bowers Own Dictionary.
silence! The dictionary! The dc
tbnary. Woman. hear mex We shall
have a dictionary. will compile 1t.
It shall be ready BY sprin& There
shall be no jackass business about 1t.
viii pse II, aud you Will use tt, aad
the cook Will use II, and by the beard
Of m7 father If there ta eng mone tom
fool business aFound tbs hossa l vii
have q dtyorce-
x1aw tssaaiss. ez18 60 -