Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1910-02-24

eternally tellinB aileBen funny SLOT
les, you may have a choice, but ! viii
be blamed II I ltayesi
y =
Brother" once said to fellow
| in the days when my mind dwelt OF
such Grass things as money. "wha'
show would ! stand Of getting The
money II / should ask you to loan
me five dolIars7" About the same
show / would stand Of getting II bach
we're I to loan II to you" he replied
But l did find fellow who did lend
It to me.
You can't expect the Lord to be-
lieye statement in your prayer
when all the neighbors know 1t Is .
fib.
Crusty old bachelors always get
married SO they can have nice home
of their own, but the woman in the
case has never advanced reasonable
defense.
Man is destined to always be.a mar
tyr. When / learned to use a safety
razor / felt secure in my freedom
and often boosted. Now worry and
chide the fates as much 40 ever be-
cause can't cut my own hair.
~ y 80
Lots OF people make things go In
this world because they are in earn
est. The downright earnest man is
the one who accumulates the momen-
tum that sweeps him over obstacles.
The fellow who goes along with a
half heart and goes into things half
in fun and half in earnest Is the fell
low who is down and out at the final
windup. Notice the boy who plays
football seriously and earnestly and
you will see that he is the mainstay
of the team. When he tries to go
the line he is in earnest about
It, and he generally makes his gain.
When he tackles his man he does II
seriously. He takes no chances and
he brings down his man, The preach
err who delivers his sermon earnestly
and seriously is the one who sends
conviction home to the sinner 1t IL
not the one who scatters his SMILES
and metaphors and flowers Of rhetoric
broadcast in a mechanical fashion
who comes bringing in the sheaves.
It is the earnest, serious solicitor who
makes us take out a life insurance
policy or buy a ticket in the lottery,
not the josher.
v u
AS general thing am very
peacebale, but / will lead mob any
time to hang or burn at the stake,
the fellow who invented that post
card, Nobody Loves a Fat Man. I.
~ " X,
Ola Bill Shiftlsss q a great hand
shaker. ne u always rushing up
to somebody he has been introduced
to in the remote past and renewing
acquaintance and the hopes Of get
Ting a cigar. The other day he saw
! man he had once met at a political
and at once stuck out his
hand and said; "I'il bet two dol
lars you don't rememOec me-
'YOu win" reeplled the man reach
ing into his pocket, "and aefe is the
money"
There is this to be said ia favor Of
re worltD; Very few Of item ever
attempt to tell funny stories.
~ "
! Whenever a man steps b,lskly up
o me and asks II can spare few |
Of my time on an import
mt matter know what Is coming.
always tell him at once that am
eady have bought enough schemes
o impoverish John D. Rockefeller.
then l ring my dummy telephone
ell and talk away until the pest
loats out.
Brother Phllander," said l to our
cad deacon the other day, "have
GU noticed that Brother Steady is
ne member Of the flock who always
,ets good committee appointments
ut never leads in prayer? Why is
'hilander with wise look on his
ace, "is one member who believes in
lore paying and less praying"
'hllander is our church treasurer.
The fellow who holds his job down
y letting the boss beat him to work
I've out Of six mornings isn't the
elbow who Is called to the front
2 The offira avarv N offen and in-