davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
[From the Chicago News.l

[From the Chicago News.l
A thick head incubates many thin
ideas.
What an awkward angel the average
man would makei
Sensible and sentimental people have
but little in common.
Talk may be cheap, but some people
use extravagent language.
After having his leg pulled man US
ually feels like kicking himself
The undertaken may be slow. but
sooner or later he will overtake you.
It's the easiest thing in the world to
apologize when you are in the right.
Ever since his Satanic majesty in
vented politics things have been COM
ing his way.
Farce comedy-A young man trying
to appear old and an old man trying
to appear young.
Some of the things you ought to
know can be learned in no other way
than by reading the advertisements.
And sometimes a candidate discovers
that the party leaders were at his back
for the purpose of kicking him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27
PASSING OLE BOSS.

General Charles H. Brayton, who
for many years has been the political
boss of Rhode Island, is dead. Aldrich
was the man regarded by the public
as being in control but Brayton was
the real boss. Aldrich took his orders
form Brayton and the general took
his from the corporations.
He held no office himself but he
handed positions out to others. He
made and unmade men at will.
He ran the machine with a firm
hand and kept an eye fguratively, for
it. Private life suited his methods of
operation. 1t served his purpose to
be inconspicuous. For Boss Brayton
was on terms of intimacy with the
corporations and bosom friend of
the man who had personal interests
to be promoted by legislation or by
any kind of official favor.
1t was his boast that legislators
obeyed his will and that he was at
torney for most of the large corpora
lions and all the railroads doing bust
ness in the state. II direct legislation
for the benefit of my clients" he once
explained in answer to a question. II
get them what they want and am
able to do so because I name the
members of the legislature and I see
to it that man who opposes me new
er comes back. About the only con-
dition I make is that the legislation
asked by my corporate clients shall in
no instance be to the disadvantage of
the Republican party"
For the purpose of being in close
touch with his business he maintained
an office in the state capitol.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27
SPENDING THE SURPLUS.

The fact that the United States
treasury operations are again showing
an excess of receipts over expenditures
is already giving rise to plans for
spending the surplus.
In a speech before the Ohio River In
provement association Congressman
Longworth called attention to the fact
that if the dream of a permanent navi-
gable stage in the Ohio is realized IN
six years instead of twelve the i'm
proved financial situation at Washing
ton will be largely responsible for the
quicker progress of the work.
Commenting on this statement the
Times-Star says;
ITO the ordinary man. in ordinary
times. the governments finances seem
a little too far away and a little too
hazy to be of great Importance. He is
keenly concerned in the condition of
his own pocketbook, but his interest in
the condition of the national treasury,
being less apparent, seems less real.
Economy in the running of the gov
eminent has probably lost its value as
political issue. We would rather con-
slider plans with a stump speaker for
burning Mr. Rockefeller in oil, than
hear the pTosaic news that a hundred
millions of dollars have been saved in
the conduct of the government. 1t IS
only on occasions such as the present,
when the improved condition of the
treasury gives a chance of getting
something that we want very much
sooner than we had expected to get it,
that the idea of economy at Washing
ton suddenly becomes attractive"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27

come charge upon the public for sup
and deported.
1t was sad case. The disappoint
ment of the poor old man was heart
rending. He had come hither hoping
TO spend his last years in at least less
discomfort and privation than he had
suffered in Russia. He probably had
hoped to engage in some profitable oc-
cupation suited to his years, or, failing
that, to find here a more abundant
charity than Russia afforded. But he
was set back to the lot from which
he had fed, even worse off than he had
been before he came hither, since much
OF his scanty means had been spent on
the fruitless voyage. 1t is not pleasant
to Imagine the feelings with which he
returned from the inhospitable New
World to the inhospitable Old.
Yet practically the incident was in
potentiality unique, it would have been
inhuman and intolerabIe We could not
afford to repel thus just one solitary
supplicant for asylum. But once the
precedent were set of admitting one
such the door would be open for an in
f1ux of myriads of the aged, infirm and
empaupered of all lands. That would
be a burden which humanity does not
require us to assume, and which, in
deed, discretion, regard for our own
security and prosperity and a sense of
justice toward the existing population
of this country all earnestly forbid. 1t
is hard to bar the gate against the
needy, but it would be worse still to
open it without observation-disclosures
York Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27

rant to get something to eat. He had
been gone ten minutes when the wife
came slowly in and found the bottle.
He must have looked out and seen
the hangman's rope and her sitting
beneath it. He must have realized
that she intended to hang herself as
soon as dusk came, so that the neigh
bors shouldn't see her kicking, but
he hadn't come out to say q word!
No! He had sneaked off to give her
full swing He was glad that she
was to choke herself to death. Now
she must surely go through with it.
She went back and sat down and
shed more tears and babe the world
adieu, and the evening came down.
She was wondering how bad it would
hurt when a voice sounded near and
voice hoarsely said:
Yes: I must diei This carbolic
acid VIII do the business OF what
use to live when my wife says I
don't know a tapestry rug from a
flve-frame body Brussels? ?"
IT die by the rope!" announced
had saved and saved and saved, and
wanted to surprise Bob with a new
parlor rug, but-he-he-went and
bought one himself and then jawed
me! He will find my dead body
swinging here, and-and-"
''She shouldn't have called it an
old tapestry rug!" broke in the
other voice.
He should have known tapestry
from a five-frame."
They say that carbolic acid gives
one excruciating pains, and that 1t is
hours before the end comes. but"
at must hurt any ones neck awful
ly to hang, but as 1 am an unloved
wife,
And then the Billy goat who was
proving through the alley found the
hole in the fence and entered the
yard. He saw two human forms I'M
der the trees. Human beings had
stoned and dubbed and scorned him.
They had written jokes on him for
the newspapers; they had thrown old
cans out for him to feed on; they had
set dogs on him. He boiled over at
the recollection, and down went his
head and he charged.
"Oh, Bob, what is it!'' asked Kitty
as she got through rolling over and
over.
TITS that blamed goat, dear"
And then they laughed and kissed
and pulled the rope down and threw
the bottle away, and though it was a
late dinner. it was a joyous one, and
they even sold the tapestry rug to a
neighbor next day for all it cost
copyrighted 1910 by Associated Lit
erary PreSs.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27
AYHAWKER JOTS

Down at lola the barn dance has
been driven out of society because the
girls insist on wearing hobble skirts.
The Salina Union reports a case
where thieves chloroformed family
and all their chickens. The chickens,
only, were carried away
Henry Aliens paper holds that the
discovery of germs in cold storage
eggs proves that germs have as de-
PRAYED a taste as have some people.
Referring to hobble skirts. "If
women will wear hepdcuffs. the
Abilene Reflector suggests, the proper
place is the wrists, and not the knees"
One of the chief reasons why there
is now nothing new under the sun is
because Kansas has been on the job
for over half a century. according to
the Leavenworth Times.
The Concordia Blade tells of a girl
at the county fair who asked her es-
cort what race was in progress on the
track. On being informed that it was
the 2:30 event, she replied: why,
isn't it later than that?"
Two Solomon women says the Tri-
bune, whose hair on their heads is
growing there. are so proud of it that
they tried to organize an "Aii Our
Own" club, but after calling on all
the women in Solomon including
grandmas, they gave up trying, be-
cause they knew they couldn't get a
The Osborne Kansas. Farmer. in
sists that one of these days there will
be a sad catastrophe in that town.
"A show will come along and adver-
tise that welI-known old slogan money
refunded at the door If you are not
satisfied" it says "Old Bill Shift
less will be in the crowd and will not
like the play. He will step up to the
ticket-Seller and tell him in plain Eng
lish that the show is on the bum and
demand his money back. The ticket
seller will try to argue him out of it.
Bill will insist and finally lose his
temper. Then he will slip off his coat
and go to bat He will knock the block
off the ticket-seller, and will then
hunt up the boss of the show and all
the actors. He will make mincemeat
of the whole bunch and will then de-
molish the property The show will
be unable to go on to next stand, and
| Old Bill will be heralded as the I'M
conquered hero of the country. we
know this is so, because we have heard
| Old Bill say this very thing. He is
/ tired of the cheap shows that fail to
come up to their advertising. Bill
! knows how show should be run and
| isn't slow to express himself Bills
| experience with the cane rack at the
street fairs has put him wise to every
thing in the show business"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27
OUR BUMPER CORN CROP.

In view of the favorable weather of
the past few weeks crop experts are
now predicting a corn yield of 100000
600 bushels for the United States. This
would be a record breaker. The dan
ger point as far as frost is concerned
is already past in most localities.
Corn is selling in Chicago at more
than so cents per bushel, on which basis
the value of the crop in dollars and
cents is close to 81 100000, O0O-exceed-
ing the value of wheat and cotton crops
combined. This will give the west
purchasing power, affecting not only
its ability to take freely the products
of factories, but will at the same time
mean a large traffic for the railroads.
Corn today enters so largely into food
for man and beast that the import
ance of a TREMENDOUS production can
scarcely be over estimated. Corn en-
ters into the transportation problem in
many indirect ways. AS the real basis
of cattle and provisions it becomes a
particularly large item of transporta-
ton, to say nothing of corn itself.
which is one of the most bulky of rail-
road commodities.
On the whole it looks as though the
railroads would be able to get through
the winter
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27
PAS LAST SICKNESS

When pa came home from the store to-
night
HIS face was drawn and a CHASTITY white;
he closed the door with a shaking hand
ana trembled so he could hardly stand
Then slowly steered for the nearest chair
ana settled down with a feeble air.
he shook his head as he heaVed a sigh
ana said he guessed he was going to die
For all day long he had had no rest
FROM cutting pains up and down his
And like as not he would soon be dead,
Unless ma helped him on to the bed.
We phoned the nearest doctor at once,
While pa lay down with Misunderstanding
grunts.
Between the grunts he gave US advice
ABOUT the funeral-quiet, yet nice
He was so weak when the doctor came
he seemed most gone, but said he was
game.
And when that doctor opened pas vest
He found pin that had scratched his
chest!
He looked at pa as he showed the pin,
ana pa looked back with a Sickly grin;
linen pa got mad. Twas a slight mistake
That any man should easily make.
But we, of course would be mean enough
10 think that he was making a bluff,
Or playing up the sympathy dodge.
ana so--Well, pa has gone off to lodge.
-Helen Washer, in the New York Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27
GLOBE SIGHTS.
LFrom the Atchison Globe. ]
How far is a "far cry?"


How far is a "far cry?''
SO many people are hypocrites that
you always find folks who will agree
with you.
1t is human nature to have a great
contempt for royalty until there is a
chance to be admitted to court
Il am always looking for work"
said Doc Robinson today, Gin order to
get out of it's way before it strikes
me-
We are never indignant over a Col
1ege Cane Rush, unless it happens that
some one engaged fails to get hurt.
Another thing which is about as sure
as death and taxes is that no man can
go on bluf1ng Indefinitely without
being called.
Why do people "dress up when they
take ride on train? The dirtiest
thing on earth is the average railroad
train.
The row among the Christian scien-
lists of Kansas City is entirely need
less, it seems to us. Why not let
Roosevelt settle it?
Just because your friend tells you
his secrets. is no sign you are trust
worthy: it only indicates that vour
friend talks too much.
While people may spurn advice as a
general proposition, they will accept a
little of it from those who buy at their
store and subscribe for their news
papers.
You often hear people say, Hes en-
thusiastic about his business, to say
the least" Isn't that saying the most :?
1t is the enthusiasts, as a rule, who go
to the front.
This is the kind of life 1 have been
living" said the Towns Big Failure
today. 'All my life I have been busy
looking for Big Things and neglecting
the Little Things I might have han
died, and worked into Big Things
Winifred Black: A foolish girl died
in New York the other day. She killed
herself and left a note saying, mo
~irl can live in New York and be hon
est" She told the exact opposite of
the truth: no girl can live in New York
or anywhere else and be dishonest
and draw one really happy breath.
There is a certain man living below
town who cuts corn at 10 cents a
shock. He is his own boss, and does
as he pleases. He pleases to go to
work at l p. m. and quit at 4. Some
times it happens that men do not
| properly use liberty. What that man
needs is a whip. The rich should do
| better, but so should that poor man
| living below town.
It's a great shame the way the farm
ers treat the big trusts. One of the big
| trusts manufactures a product known
| as oleOmargarine. It is made of beef
| tallow and cream, and is a perfectly
! clean and wholesome food; nothing the
matter with it except that it sells at a
| lower price than butter. But the farm
ers have had laws passed taxing oleo-
/ margarine out of existence because its
manufacture lowers the price of but
| ter. Meanwhile butter is thirty-five
| and forty cents pound.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27
QUAKER NEGOTIATIONS.

CFrom the Philadelphia Record.]
The workmen in a clock factory are
always on time.
1t takes constant use to keep our
good resolutions from rusting.
The fisherman generally sees to 1t
that his lines are cast in pleasant
places.
A woman never realizes what good
detective she would make till she gets
married.
A man can make a goose Of himself
in his correspondence without using a
quill pen.
Many a fellow tells a girl he isn't
worthy of her. and the girl believes
it-at the time.
The hysterical women who always
cry at weddings are the same ones
who laugh at funerals.
Il am living on the fat of the land"
said the man who was making a for
tune with an obesity cure.
A girl always feels sorry for a fell
low who gets engaged to some other
girl when he might have had her.
Blobbs-"I know she is extrayae giant
but she's a dear little thing" Slobbs@
Yes, much dearer than I can afford. -
"A jokes a joke" remarked the
horsethief who was about to be lyneh
ed but 1 wish you fellows would stop
stringing me-"
There is a fortune awaiting the man
who invents luminous collar button
that you can see in the dark when ~
rolls under the bureau.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
LFrom the New York Press.l

from the New York Press.1
When a man thinks he has a good
disposition he doesn't mean at home.
Anybody who knows enough not to
get married has acquired his wisdom
by being it already.
All the things the Bible teaches a
man he can learn over again hundreds
of times without ever trying any of
them.
A man thinks he had a singing voice
when he was a boy and a woman that
her hair curled naturally when she was
a girl.
A woman always has a good time
going out to dinner if her husband will
pretend he knows he would have got
better one staying honae-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27
Reiecting the Derellct.

Some comment has arisen upon a
painful incident which was recently re-
ported from the local immigrant sta
ton An aged Russian was so DESTROYS
of entering this country that he tried
to dye his beard so as to make himself
appear younger than he was. The trick
was detected and an investigation was
made. He was found to be not crimi-
nal nor suffering from any contagious
disease. But he was so old as to be
beyond the age of confident self-sup-
port, he had scarcely any money or 9TH
er property, and he had no relatives or
friends here who would take care of
him. He was therefore likely to be-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27

seems when summarized to be about
as follows: The greater the traffic, the
higher the unit cost; the higher the
unit cost of handling, the More must
be the rates; the higher the rates, the
greater the dividends; the larger the
dividends, the greater the justification
for increased capitalization: and the
bigger the capitalization the greater
the demand for income, which means
still higher rates
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27

An odd result of the direct primary
system is reported from Houghton,
Mich, where a man running for sheriff
succeeded in being nominated by the
Republicans, Democrats. Prohibitionsts
and Socialists.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27

After hearing from Maine. even in
Pennsylvania, the Democrat leaders
announce that they expect to carry
fifteen out of the thirty-two congress
sionaI districts. While not admitting
this the Philadelphia Press says: "it
is no doubt true that there are several
districts now represented by Repub-
1icans, in which, for one reason or an
other, the conditions are not SO favor
able as Republicans could DESIRE"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27
HUNOR or THE Day

You girls are beyond me- said faith
er, as he tied the ribbon of his daugh-
ter's shoe. why don't you wear but
toned shoes, that won't come unfasten-
ed instead of these COMPOUNDED things
that are united half of the timer"
Because, papa" said Gladys, sweet
ly, I'D rather have bow than get the
hook."-Harper's Weekly.
Mother-Ain't you goin' to wash up
them tea-things, Marianne, before you
go out?
Daughter-No, amt; I'm late
enough for Mothers 'elp" class it IS.
London Opinion.
Nervous Passenger during fog)-But
surely you're not leaving the brldge,
are you officer?
officer (who has just been relieved)-
On, yes. It's no good stopping up
there; you can't see anything.-Punch.
Adam critically regarded Eve
Her attire is a bit primitive" he
said, but prefer a hobble skirt
Seeing no occasion for appending an
explanatory diagram to his remark, he
let it go at that and resumed his gar
dening.-Chicago Tribune.
Hubby with irritation)-Why is it
that you women insist upon having the
last word?
wife (caimly)-we don't The only
reason we get it is because we always
have a dozen arguments left when you
stupid men are all run out.-Ladie;'
Home Journal.
THAT man agreed with every opinion 1
expressed" said the positive woman
Indeed replied Miss Cayenne; ''he must
have been very much interested or very
much bored."-Washington Star.
No Need of Any Change.-Stern Parent
You must understand, sir, that I want
my daughter to have good a home
after marriage as before. sir. Jack Buff
ington-Well, you're not going to sell off,
are YOU?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27

The following advertisement which
appears in an exchange should bring
results: Neutrality-suspicious. white
cook in comfortable home. Very small
family; when we have guests the list
will be submitted to the cook for ap-
proval; we take all daily papers and
eight magazines, several continued
stories Just beginning; bottled beer al
ways in refrigerator; beaux can ring
front door bell; mistress has reference
s-om last cook, who died of old age"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27

Cleveland's gain of 1884, 900 people in
the past ten years proved too much
for Baltimore and the Maryland
metropolis is forced into seventh place
in the list of American cities.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27

Perhaps Bob Chanler was merely
endeavoring to restore the balance in
the matrimonial market. Hitherto the
dukes and counts have had the better
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27

Many politician when he comes to
reap his political harvest this fall, says
the Washington Post, will wish he had
used a seed tester at planting time.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27

Prohibition has been defeated in
South Carolina. 1t is presumed that
the old time remark of the governor
to his neighbor across the line is
again in order
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27

The contest between the Colonel and
the Old Guard in New York is said to
be all over except the shouting. But
the shouting probably will be worth
staying to hear.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27

More people are killed by wild
beasts in India than anywhere else
on earth The colonel simply can't
be everywhere at once
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27

What shall it profit the New York
Insurgents to dictate the nomination,
with the "Old Guard" in control of
the state committee?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27

Lillian Russell says that much stage
success in due to clothes. She might
have added truthfully sthat it is fire.
quentIy due to the lack of them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27

The political boss of Rhode Island
Is dead and Aldrich has gone to Eu-
rope. Who will tell the people Of
Little Rhody" how to vote this fall ?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27

CIVILIZATION continues to make
strides in Japan. For the first time
in the history of the nation, a plot to
assassinate the emperor is reported.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27

BalIinger promises to show UP his
enemies when he gets time. The peo-
pie are willing that he should take
time right now.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27

Another route across the Alps has
been opened. One can now go under
the mountains, through them or over
fhem
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27

It is reported that Lorimer Will re-
sign. When 1t comes to that we are
all Mfssourians.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-27

The dream skirt, which promises to
put the hobble affair out of business
probably will be found to resemble the
nightmare variety.