Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1910-02-04
A MARK TWAIN STORY
Showing What May Be Achieved
by Nerve and Federation.
A LESSON IN PERSEVERANCE,
Going to Prove That Repetition Will
Work Wonders if Man Has Only
the Necessary Amount of Cheek to
Stand Up and Keep on TaIk;ns.


Stand Up and Keep on Talking.
Mark Twain once told a reporter
that II man says the same thing Of
ten. enough people will begin to listen
to him.
Now" said the great humorist
there was that story about Hank
Monk. That was the oldest. staiest.
driest, deadest bit OF alleged humoE
that any man ever heard. 1t had been
circulated around Nevada and Cali
fornia until there wasn't man left
who would even listen to 1t. | had
heard 1t so many times that knew il
by heart. 1t told how Hank Monk got
Horace Greeley over the Glennbrook
grade to Placerville.
Il was about to deliver my second
lecture ut Platt's hall in San Fran
cisco-the second one l had ever de-
1ivered. 1t occurred to me that 1
might begin that lecture with the
worst story / had ever heard and by
telling 1t often enough start the lee.
ture with a big laugh took that
story and memorized 1t so that 1t
would not vary in the telling, and
made 1t just as pointless and Just as
dull and just as dry as could.
when it came time for me to talk
l stood up and with q few introduc-
tory remarks began that story. II I
remember it went something like this:
Horace Greeley once went over
the Glennbrook grade to Placerville.
When he was leaving Carson City he
told the driver, Hank Monk, that he
had an engagement to lecture at
Placerville and was very anxious to
go through quick. Hank Monk crack.
ed his whip and started Off at an aw-
fui pace. The stage bounced up and
down in such terrific way that it
Jolted the buttons all Off Horaee's coat
and finally shot his head clean through
the roof OF the stage, and then he yell
ed to Hank Monk and begged him to
go easier-said he warn't In as much
OF a hurry as he had been awhile
ago. But Hank Monk said, "Keep
your seat. Horace, and I'll get you
there on time" And he did, too-what
was left Of him.
"Now, that was all there was to the
story. 1t was bad enough to begin
with, but 1 made 1t worse In the tell
Ing. l droned it out I'm n fat, monoso-
nous tone, without gesture to mar its
depressing effect. The people received
1t In dead silence. had insulted every
man In the audience-I had 'graveled'
them with story that was not only
stale and pointless, but one which they
had heard at least thousand times.
1 waited a few seconds for the laugh
ter, and then began to hem and haw
and shift my feet. / tried to appear
just as embarrassed as could, and
after fiounderlng about helplessly for a
few sentences 1 cheered up a little and
said that would tell a funny anec-
dote which might be new to them. 1t
began:
Horace Greeley went over the
Glennbrook grade to Placerville'-
II told 1t In exactly the same miser-
able, pointless way that had told 1t
before. and when got through / wait
ed longer time for the applause, but |
there wasn't any applause. could see
that several men In the house were
growing quite indignant. They had |
paid money to hear humorous lee |
ture. 1 took long breath and plunged |
In third time, more embarrassed and |
fustered and worried than ever, and |
by and by / worked around again to |
the time when Hor &c Greeley went |
over Glennbrook grade to Placerville.
"This time some OF the smarter ones |
began to laugh, and this encouraged |
me so much that thanked them and |
started right In TO tell the story over |
again, never varying the delivery so |
much as pause to take breath. The |
fourth time fetched 'em, and at the |
end OF the story they stood up and |
whooped and yelled and cheered for
some time.
you see, thought that If a man
had sand enough TO stand up before an
audience and tell the oldest, staleet
and most embarrassing story in the
world he could make people laugh If
he had the nerve to tell the story often
enough. The rest OF my lecture went |
very well. They were willing TO laugh
at my anecdotes the first time ! told |
them. Maybe they were afraid would |
tell them a second time.
81 felt so sure that 1 he'd discovered
a new phase In human character that
i tried the same thing In New York
years afterward. There was an au-
thors' reading bee one afternoon, and
most Of the authors read selections
from their works. / sat on the plat
form beside James Russell Lowell.
He asked me what was going to
read. / said that / wasn't going to
read anything. I intended TO tell an
anecdote
rs 1t funny oneY he asked.
II said 1t would be if lasted long
Il started out without any preamble,
and I told the Hank Monk anecdote.
There was an awful silence at the
end. / took drink OF water, mopped
my forehead and told the story again.
Same effect. Young man, i told that
story five times before landed 'em.
When I sat down at last Mr.. Lowell
whispered to me:
You have cost me dear. I have
been sitting here and wasting sympa.
ny on you
That's the point, young man. Rope
ttfon will do anything If a man hal
he sand to stand nm and kaaD ON taib