The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1910-09-30
SHAPES AND FLATS.


From the northern shores of Ten
nessee comes a peculiar tale. tagged
with the earmarks of genuiness, yet
The Sun wants Il distinctly under
stood that 1t will not stand sponsor.
Smiling. good natured. big Jim
Green of Mayfield. told 1t in a casual
conversation and from his actions
and manners one would thing that
Everybody in the United States had
heard OF II.
In one OF the counties OF Ten
nessee bordering on Kentucky there
Lives a man who has a flock of
nervous goats. These goats are like
all other goats and keep up with all
goat fashions. They wear their
whiskers in the same style as other
goats. they pick their teeth with
their forefeet just like ordinary
goats. they eat like ordinary goats.
they drink Hike ordinary goats. blate
like ordinary goats and walk fences
like ordinary goats. The only differ
ence between them and ordinary
goats as far as anybody has been
able to discover. is their nervous ma
ture. Any sudden shock or loud
noise seems to deaden the solar
lplexus OF their nervous energy. so to
speak. and they fall like they. were
shot, with their feet In the air. OF
course this popularity. sometimes
brings about an amusing situation.
During the bird season last year a
fnvr, Frfand ~ Tho Goat man drova
out in the country with his dog and
gun. one day hunting. He met his
goat man says: "why yes. go right
on over to my place and hunt all you
want to. There are lots of birds
there. but say be careful YOU don't
shoot any OF my stock. or | will
want YOU 10 pay for Il" "Al right.
the town friend replied, 81 will be
responsible for any damage
He drove on over. hitched his
horse and went in. He did not see
any stock except a large flock OF
goats. About that time his dog
made a stand. The birds came up
bang-bang-'bang-he had no
lchance 90 watch for birds falling for
goats were falling all over the field
He knew they were dead. too. for
their feet were in the air A rapid
mental calculation warned him that
he was out a good big sum OF
money. so he liked for his horse
land went back to town and for a
month listened for his goat friend to
demand pay for his goats. When he
finally found out that they were
nervous goats and that they fully
recovered from such shocks In a few
minutes of time, he felt relieved.
Judge J. F. Gordon lives at Mad
sonville, Ky, and serves a judicial
circuit making the swing round sew
eral times per year. The Judge is a
fine lawyer and by the way looms up
quite large in Democratic politics.
He makes fine speech and tells a
story with a whirlwind finish that
captures every time. Judge Gordon
is not only learned in the law but in
many other things. IL delights his
soul to dig down deep into this new
science of farming. You know. the
last few years has produced new
type of farmer--a scientific farmer.
The different soils from the different
fields are analyzed and each field is
fed with what II needs. This sort
of thing interests the Judge very
much, and as he owns a very fine
farm near jacksonville he takes an
especial pride in things agricultural.
One morning at the breakfast table
his wife said, Judge Gordon what
are you going 10 do with that fed
way at the back of the farm that is
fun of sassafras bushes?"f
"huh!" said the Judge, 81 think
will get me a flock of goats and
put in that field. | was reading the
other day." and then the judge
trailed OFF with a long charge TO mis-
wife about the latest thing he had
read about goats for poor fields and
the profits aocruing.
Not long after this conversation,
the judge and his farm hands drove
a flock OF goats through the front
gate and on to the back field on the
farm something like a mile and a
quarter from the house.
The judge in telling this always
takes his fed off of the chair in
front OF him. and looks like he was
about to sentence his auditor to the
penitentiary for five years and says.
"and DO you know, sir, those darn
goats met me at the front door OF
the house when got back from that
field? Yes sir. they did. and how
they got there so quickly l do not
know"
That settled the goat question for
Judge Gordon.