Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-01-27
'BEsS MISSED MUCH
GREAT QUEEN HAD FEW LUX.
URiEs OR COMFORTS.
In Her Day There Were No Chin.
neys, Wire Screens, Elevators, or
Any of the Necessaries of
the Present Day

Our secretary of agriculture, Hon !
James Wilson, recently declared: The |
average laborer is now living better |
than did Queen Elizabeth in her time"
In many respects, yes. We have
acquired great many comforts that
the good Bess never dreamed of. She
had many palaces, but not one of
them was fit for the modern family OF
moderate income to inhabit. They
had big rooms and rugs, tapestries
and the like, but in winter the fire
places smoked and in summer flies
and other pests abounded There
We're no heating apparatus, no wire
screens, no toilet apartments, no ele-
vators. When the head of the state
wished to take bath a big tub was
hauled in and in this she abluted.
When she set out on a voyage the
vehicle, finest of it's kind, was big,
springless, heavy, awkward, jolting
contraption. without speed or any OF
the comforts. When she rode it was
on crude old forerunner of saddle
or on the pillion behind her lord
treasurer or some other accommodate
ing statesman. Shoes in those days
were uncomfortable and poorly made.
| The postal service was poorly organ
lied, and the telegraph and telephone
were not invented. Cooking was done
on a gross scale Whole animals
| were roasted on spits, and great
hunks were carved or torn off and set
before royalty in that shape as before
| callers.
! There was no running water in the
| homes, and the old oaken bucket was
| the medium through which thirst was
quenched.
They had sort of ale or malmsey
which was good enough for the times,
but as Milwaukee had not then be-
| come famous and Kentucky was an
unexplored region, the very best ever
never touched her royal lips nor lift
ed up her queenly spirits
She missed a great deal. But with
al she seems to have enjoyed life in
her free and easy way. She had fawn-
ing courtiers and lovers and brilliant
society. When times were dull she
would give block parties, taking her
friends over to the tower to witness
the OHlCldl ellSlOu VI SOlile lollhCA
| favorite's head
There were no airships to distract
her attention from her queenly duties
There were no automobiles to force
her to gather up her right royal petit
coats and scamper scared half to
death across the streets. There were
no trolley cars with straps upon
which she was forced to hold when
returning tired from shopping trip.
There were no trusts to fix at their
sweet will the prices she must pay
for what she would eat or wear. She
missed the breakfast-food age. She
did not have to dodge any camera
fiends whenever she went out for a
constitutional, nor avoid moving pic
ture takers when on her royal trips
through her dominions. There We're
no such things in those days as APP
pendicitis and pellagra The awful
bacilli and microbes which the scient-
lists find nowadays in everything, from
drinking mugs to kisses, had not come
to warn us of deaths ceaseless Turk
ings.
Taken all in all, while admitting
that the well-paid workingman of to
day has very many comforts, we must
insist that Queen Elizabeth had much
to be thankful for and missed some
things for which she should have
been thankful had she only known.