davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-09-02
An Exploded Theory.

"Children." said the Sunday school
teacher. "there r. one thing that
wish TO especially impress upon YOUR
minds. Always be kind 10 your par
ents. Make II as pleasant for them as
you can. Remember that none Of you
can ever have another mother after
the one you possess is gone, You can
never"
"oh, yes. We can" interrupted q
little boy who had lost most OF his
buttons. Il lost mine last week. and
pa brought me a new one home the
same day he got back from the court
house"
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-09-02

I knew that the note IN question was
sent. II was regular routine matter
in the German foreign Office and fol-
lowed the stereotyred form.
Nations are excessively polite to
one another in their interchange of
communications Every stter that
goes out from the state department to
foreign government has this cere.
monial finish:
Accept. excel'ency. the renewed as
surance Of my highest consideration"
The cermonoil letters OF all coun-
tries begin In about the same way.
For instance. al Of EngIands 'om-
municatIona BEGIN
George ". b, the Grace OF God, OF
the United KINGDOM Of Great Britain
and ireland. kils. defend Of the
faith. emperor Ct !niia etc"
Nicholas. by the Grace o. God. EN-.
peror autocrat Ct al tie Eussias. czar
of Casaii. czar Uf Astracgn. etc. lord
of Plescott and grand duke Of Smo-
lenski. ETC."
Germany's letters are very much
like those OF Russ,a. iu that they be-
gin by announcing az tie titles OF the
ruling potentate. william H.. by
GodG grace. emperor OF Germany and
king OF Prussia etc. Is the way the
present emperor addresses his cere-
monial letters. The emperor writes
with a quill pen. snd II one may Judge
by his signature on Gle In the stats
department. does not take much time
about Il.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-09-02
anaaklnn Of nanolnn.

Redd--I see copy OF the new motor
car regulations In Ireland is forwarded
by Consul Henry h. Miller OF Belfast
and may be seen at the bureau OF
manufactures.
Greene-Wonder II Il says anything
about Irish breakdownsl-Yonkers
Statesman
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-09-02
wha, Else Could He poi

At breakfast. recently. Andrew Car
negie indulged In piece OF pie. A
diet reformer present demonstrated.
why, Mr.. Carnegie" he said. do
you eat piel"
"Of course" replied the noted
philanthropist benignly. what do you
do with TT"
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-09-02
Proof M Hand.

Magistrate--who is the prisonorf
Policeman--Ho says he's n foreign
your honor.
Magiatrate-Did you search himi
PolieemAn--Yes. and all found was
a pawn ticket and cents.
Magistrato-Thon ho evidently told
tho truth,
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-09-02
Not Quite a Failure,

when he was boy his mother
thought he would be president some
day"
He'll never get there"
I'm afraid not Still. he gets a lot
OF satisfaction out OF being a big man
In his lodge"
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-09-02

Sick magnate (feebly)-What IL
that on the table theref
secretary-Thati That ls the doc,
tors medicine case.
Sick magnato (reiieved)-'rhanks
I-or-thought Il was a camera
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-09-02
A Soft snap.

"The new secretary win be q sort
OF assistant president"
Hell have plenty 10 do"
Il don't doubt Il. but. Day, how'd
you like to be sn assistant ylee-presL
dentf"
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-09-02
Mutually Aareelhle.

Bells-But do you think you and
he are suited 10 each otherI
Nell-oh. perfectly Our tastes are
quite similar. don't care very much
for him. and he doesn't care very
much for me,
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-09-02
Astute Professor.

"How IA Professor WINNER getting
along with his memory schoolf"
Hes swamped with applicants"
whats the secret OF his success r
"He collects tuition In advance and
teaches his pupils TO remember every.
thing but their debts.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-09-02

Traveler-Hayen't you a time Ia
blef
Station Agent-we used TO have
one until the people began to think
the trains were supposed 70 keep to
lt-Fiiegends Rlasttsr
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-09-02

TITS in the world Of politics." said
the talkative man, that the truth oI
the old saying, Money talks Ia mos,
frequently proven"
"Yes." replied the wise citizen. but
n hush money would only talk. what
sensations we would have."-Catholic
Standard and Times.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-09-02
FEDERAL iRRIoATioN INQUIRY.

II. Dana Durand, director OF the
census. is seeking the advice OF all
persons possessing firsthand knowl-
edge OF the subject OF irrigation with
q view 70 deyising a schedule u In
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-09-02

"That man never gets any sleep,
STAYS up all night bumming
around. eh2"
Nav. the poor ouss has baby in
the house"
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-09-02
hIs hahIt.

Miss Gushit-Harry is so particuia,
He waited till l consented 10 go out
rowing with him before he proposed
Miss Cute-Oh. any girl about here
could have told you that
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-09-02
So SAWS Pa.

Little willie-"'Say. pa. what IA
faith without worksG"
Pa-"Faith without works. my son
is about as useless as watch without
wheels"
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-09-02

Whats a your hurry. sandyH It's
not 10 o'clock yet"
Well. ye see, Alive changed ma
lodgin's. an All IN no vera weel &c
quaint WI tn new staircase"
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-09-02
Ihans Mas a Man.

There was a man lived in our block
who tinkered on an eight-day clock.
When asked why so. he answered;
I'm just trying to improve my timel"
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-09-02

what became OF that duck OF I
girlI"
I'm sorry 20 say she married Z
Quack."
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-09-02
Two.

Two.
seymour-I didn't know that Drof
fums had two automobiles.
Ashley-He hasn't.
seymour-But ! heard him say he
had two runabouts.
Ashley-One OF them Is his wife's.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-09-02
Literary Success.

well. how's thingsf"
Fine" replied the author, "Tne
critics pronounced my last novel 80
worthless that ! have ak publishers
bidding for my next book"
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-09-02
Modaai

"she's a very modest girl"
"vGry. She won't even so shopping
m Atlantic City in her bathing suit
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-08-18
ARMADA'S TREASURE.

The search for the Spanish Armada
galleon Florencia, which sank with
treasure of fabulous amount in To-
hermory bay. in 1883, was resumed
recently.
This fresh venture is being under
taken by London syndicate, which
secured a lease from the Duke of Ar
gyle in September last Lieut.. Col P.
Mackenzie Foss, who has had extern
sive experience of submarine work in
Ceylon, is experimenting the actual
operations. sf
The silt under which the galleon lies
will be bored by mining expert, and
when anything resembling a hull has
been located, native pearl divers from
Ceylon will take up the investigation.
For at least two years inquiries of
historical character have been prose-
cuted in Spain and Italy as we'll as
in this country, with the view of es-
tablishing the actual facts. AS a re-
suit the situation of the wreck has
been located to within 400 square
yards, and the problem correspond
ingly narrowed down.
Colonel Fosshas discovered that the
Florencia was 120 feet in length, with
forty feet beam. and carried fifty-two
guns, in addition to a very large sum
in coin and bullion.-Mancheste Ex-
press. =
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-08-18

The official estimate of the riches
flung skyward by the oil wells of the
state during 1909. has just been given
to the public. 1t represents the tidy
sum of two million dollars. according
to the report of the State Mineralogist
Aubrey. This is the estimate of the
value of the years output which am
cunts to more than fifty-eight million
barrels.
No wonder capitalists from the east
and abroad are pricking up their ears
at the sound of the roaring geysers
of black, ill-smelling fluid, which,
nevertheless, has such golden shim-
mer to it when seen at the proper
angle. No wonder that California is
going 'oil crazy just as in other
times it succumbed to the gold fever
and the corner-lotitis of the days of
the real estate boom.
According to the United States Geo
logical survey, the amount of oil re-
naming in the ground to pe brought
to the surface for the benefit of the
lucky investors, will come to about
ten billion barrels. So that the years
output. great as it is, may be reason
ably compared to the handful of gold
that "Scotty" throws to the bell-hops.
Strange as it may seem, the fact
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-08-18

that here is an inexhausible supply of
oil will tend to raise the prices in the
long run rather than to lower them
and the explanation. of this seeming
paradox is that oil burners will be in
stalled in constantly increasing num-
bers with the assurance that there will
be no oil famine to render them USE
less. Therefore the owners of gen.
erous wells like the Lakeview gusher
watch its flow of about 10000 bar
rels day without any despondent
feelings of glutted market.
The Lakeview is the most famous
of the gushers which has brought sud
den wealth to its owners. Imagine a
column of black oil spouting from two
hundred to four hundred feet high,
throwing spray for miles about and
forming veritable lake of crude pc
troleum in the reservoirs. That
sounds like spasmodic attempt to
make strong showing when company
is expected, but when you think of
flow that keeping up, with prac-
tically no interruption from the mid
die of March to the present writing,
IL appears to be a very lengthy spasm.
From California New Gusher Era"
by C. L. Edholm. in Technical World
Magazine for September.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-08-18
PHILOSOPHY OF DEFEAT.


I have lain in the dust with the van
quished
When my banner went down in de-
spair.
And I thought in my woe that 1 never
might know
The day of success, oh. how fair,
And yet. when the sun on the morrow
Shone forth with its comforting light,
With a new-kindled zeal and a heart
brave and leal
I went forth again to the right
The world cannot Judge me my motive
Nor love me if thus / have failed;
But behold. There's an Eye that can
see how I try,
And knows that never quailed!
And I think of that glorious heaven,
And of Him who sits on its throne,
Who will chide not at all if we rise or
we fall.
So long as right purpose is shown!
Not for aye shall l pine in the shadow
Nor sulk in the gloom of defeat;
For the promise is sure to the hearts
that endure
And the mire is the victory sweet,
Douglas Dobbins.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-08-18

knows, some sort of more or less al
coholic drink is offered as a matter OF
course and at any hour of the day.
The Post says that at the emperor's
Potsdam residence, the new palace,
strawberry liquor and cider are always
offered, and the emperor, whose ia
vorite beverages these are, often urg-
es his visitors to partake of them. A
cucumber liquor is another specially
at Potsdam. Here is the recipe: "Peel
and slice the cucumber, sprinkle SUI
gar over it and let it stand on ice for
an hour. Pour a light red wine over.
strain and serve" The emperor never
takes wine without mineral water,
which he adds even to French cham
payne or German sekt, and it is this
fact. the Post declares. which enables
him at public banquets to drink doz-
ems of healths and come out un-
harmed At night before retiring he
drinks a large glass of orangeade.-
Westminster Gazette.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-08-18
THE KAISER DRINKS.

Not only what the German emperor
drinks. but how he drinks it, Is the
subject Of an article in the Strass-
burger Post. and at Strassburg they
ought to know. for the emperor oc-
casionally takes an "Ehrentrunk" in
public, when he is staying at that
queer, brand new looking palace of his
which stands in a sun baked square
near the university at Strassburg. or
when he passed through on his way
to the magnificent old Koenigsburg
crowning the highest Of the Alsatian
hills.
William II, says the Post. agreeing
with Prince Buelow's famous mot in
the Reichstag. is no Philistine in his
manner of drinking, for whether he
drings a golden cup on the banks of
the Rhine or a Roemer in a Bremen
cave or Hungarian crystal beaker at
a hunting box he acquits himself
, equally well and drinks with frankly
boyish enjoyment. But though he Is
no apostle Of total abstinence. he is a
convinced adept of moderation who
never cared for much alconof and has
of late years taken less and even less
AS every caller at a German house
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-08-18
AID HIM FIGHT IT.

Having been the county judge Of
Umatilla county and knowing at close
hand how tax levies are made and of
the money it takes to maintain
county such as this. Judge G. A. Hart
man is eminently fitted to lead the
fight against Orchard" county. The
fact that an experienced yet person.
ally disinterested man like Judge
Hartman opposes the creation of this
new county is in itself good argu-
ment against the scheme of the Mil
tonites Now IL all the people who do
not want to see this county divided
will join in aiding Judge Hartman
fight down the move there will be
little show for the passage of the
Orchard county bill.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-08-18
IN CALIFORNIA.

BY a landslide majority Hiram
Johnson, progressive republican and
the standard bearer for the Lincoln
Roosevelt league has been nominated
for governor of California Alden
Anderson. avowed candidate Of the
Southern Pacific railroad and of the
machine element throughout the state
was buried so deep under the avalan-
che OF progressive votes that he will
never be heard from again.
For many reasons the primary ell
ecton in California has been watched
with interest and the result is Of sig
nificance. First, this was California's
initial experience with the direct pri-
mary law. Assuredly the people made
good use OF their newly acquired
power. They have named for gov
-ernor a man who is strong, clean and
progressive. He is a man who be-
1ieves that the government Of the
state Of California should be adminis-
tered in behalf Of the people Of that
fair commonwealth-not in behalf OF
the Southern Pacific or any other cor
poration. Hiram Johnson made his
race upon his stand that the govern
ment should regulate corporations
and that corporations should not be
allowed to dominate the government
His opponent on the other hand was
openly the candidate of the Southern
Pacific and of the machine politici-
ans OF California. The people took
johnson. They will always uphold
such men when they have the oppor'
tunity TO do so. IT is only when the
political life Of q state is made cor
rupt under the convention system
which breeds bossism and puts
premium upon manipulation ant
chicanery that selfish interests ar
able to dominate affairs continually
Had Californians secured direc
primary years ago they would hav
downed the Southern Pacific Jus
that much sooner.
But the California primary electio
has a eignificance that is wider tha
the boundaries OF that state. tn
sweeping victory OF the progressiv
ana anti-machine element show
where the people OF the west stan
with reference to such matters. Will
the fight in California was stat
fight the principles involved are G
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-08-18

national Importance at this time. The
coming election in Oregon is going to
he fought out on very similar lines.
The fundamental problem is the same
in both states The immediate issue
in this state has to do with whether
or not this state shall stand by its
direct primary law or shall allow it
to be made into a mockery by the
machine politicians and the interests
those men serve. The assemblyites
are trying to drag oregon back into
the hole from which it ascended sew
eral years ago and from which Cali
fornia is but just arising.
What showing will Oregon make
this year?
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-08-18
BUNGALOWMANIA.

Great grandfather lived in a dwelling
of logs,
1t was squatty and dingy and plain.
But twas there that ne dwelt with
his kids and his dogs,
Nor minded the snow and the rain;
If he'd lived there now. he'd have
perked up Bit
And pride would have sat on his
brow;
He'd have looked on his house as an
artistic hit
For they call cabins bungalows
now.
The Smiths used to live in a house
made of sod
On the plains where the Kansas
winds sweep;
They built it of nothing but clod upon
clod,
And its lines would make architects
weep;
But today it's refurnished with vines
at its door,
And a lantern upon its port bow,
1t rents for simoleons many a score,
For "soddies" are bungalows now.
So it's back to the cabins and sod
dies and shacks
If you follow the craze of the day;
| To the dwellings that seem to sprawl
out on their backs,
For that is bungalow way;
Move out of the houses that have an
| upstairs,
And straight for the lowly sort
| plow;
Pick up hencoop a barrel, for no.
body cares,
AS all things are bungalows now.
Arthur Chapman, in Denver Re-
| publican.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-08-18
WHY THE DELAY?

Discussing the Abruzzl- -Elkins af-
fair San Francisco paper recently
said:
americans have never been troub-
led with any doubts as to the social
equality of American girls with for
eign dukes and princes. or their fit
ness to be mistress of palaces.
If there is "a certain condescen-
sion in foreigners as deplored long
ago in New England literature. it is
certain that Americans in general
have never cared a rap for it.
Thus the tenacious objections of
the italian Court to the love match
OF the Duke of Abruzzi have been
regarded in this country as curious
and interesting survivals of an out
worn social theory.
at never has occurred to a real
American to feel hurt because Italian
or English or German ideas OF what
goes to the making of a masterful
man or a great lady are different
from our own.
The Duke of Abruzzi is likely to
meet the approval of Americans be-
cause he is hearty out-of-door man.
with working profession and a seri-
Gus purpose in life. The appearance
OF this very modern kind of grarNee
III an ancient European court is
sign that America has invaded not
only the markets. but also the minds
OF Europe"
Very well, then why do not Miss
Flkins and the Duke of Abruzzi get
marriage? Why all this delay and this.
disturbance?
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-08-18
CALIFORNIA OIL CRAZY.

With the gusher era, California has
added to the worlds wealth in her
usual generous and spectacular man.
ner, reminding one somewhat of the
western millionaires of the "Scotty"
type. who fling their golden largess
right and left, to be scrambled for,
not taking any particular pains to
dodge the kodak of the newspaper
man while. making their splurge.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-08-18
The harvest moon is waning.

Mr. Porter (of Chicago)-When my
books were made up found I'd kill
ed just one hog short Of million. I'd
like to have made 1t level million.
Dolly Trotter lawfully bored)-You
are not thinking of committing sui
eide. are you?
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-08-18

Mr. saphedde-Can you read my
thoughts?
Miss Caustique-No, I don't care
for light reading.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-08-18

Col. Roosevelt could find much to
interest him at the frontier show. He
might even want to ride a broncho
himself. So it is up to George Hart
man to see that he accepts the bid
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-08-18
BACK TO THE FARM.

. Back to the farm. to sunlit =
= wales and hills, =
= Back to the farm, to shady =
. woods and rills. .
. Where the honey bees are hum .
= ming
= Through the fragrant air of .
. morn =
= And the bobwhite gayly whist =
les y
. From the wheatfield and the =
. corn, =
D oh, old farm, l am so weary of =
, this wicked world of .
D lust, .
D With its worry and its hurry and =
, its noise and its dust, .
, But to thee my eyes are turn =
, Yes, for thee my heart is .
, yearning,
, Dear old farm home cool and =
D shaded, =
D With sweet roses and green =
D trees. =
= Where at twilight swallows =
. twitter .
, From the chimney and the .
, caves. =
, Back to the fields to catch the .
, lark's sweet strain! .
, Back to the dells to hear the =
D thrush again, .
= Where the whippoowills are =
= whistling =
. AS the cows come down the =
y lane =
. And the robin at my window =
. Sings the same old sweet re- =
y frain, =
. Oh. my dear old sainted moth =
y er-mother's prayers are I
y never vain
q / am coming back to Eden, TO Z
q the old home loves again!
q Homeward now my feet are I
= turning,
. Homeward now my heart is Z
q yearning
q / am coming to the old farm I
q From a world of selfish strife 4
. 1 shall plow and sow and har-
q vest
. In the good old simple life.
q &C. NJ. Barnitz. I
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-08-18

"Shay Choofer, how much do I owe
yer"
Seven dollars and fifty cents. sir"
"Well, shay. back up till ye come
to thirty cents. That's all I GOT
Life.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-08-18

Goodness me, but that woman's
makeup is loud"
'It is that She should have used
noiseless powder"
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-08-18

Perhaps If Roosevelt knew of the
bears in the Blue mountains he would
come.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-08-18

How the machine politicians of
California will have 1t in for the di-
rect primary. Sure enough.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-08-18
A Reliable
Remedy
eIy's Cream Balm
Is quickly absorbed.
Is Quickly absorbed.
Gives Relief nj 0rna.

Gives Relief at Once.
1t cleanses, soothes,
heals and protects
.he d.seas 4 men,
orane resulting from
Ca.alTh and drives
away q Cold 10 the
Heal quickly. Re
storss 'i.e Senses Of
ras e aDd s.aell. Fu
.sis-s oT by mil. In
lily brYsnlfs, VI Wa
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1910-05-30
DIED.

ANDERSON -Suddeniy. as Madison Y. J.. -
May -. 1910. IN ths dath Year % BIS age. ~
Calvin Andersen. husband Of Mary Boitr
Andersen and sun Of The his Rev. Villas
Anderson and sarah Louise RyersJ1.
Funeral services Win be held AZ WEBB Mem1is
Chapel. Madison. n. J.. on Monday. Nay ~
at $40 p. ". Interment private.
BiCELow.-On sunday. May -. ~ To-qrn
England. COrnsua sheTriil. widow ~ Horsf
". mgeloE OF 81 Paul. Man. % ne ~
ycaE Of her age.
Funeral services az ToTauay Engazd. q
Tuesday rornins. Nav g.
BLAKE. Ca May =. 1910. At BeraclsJ Ca
William Phipps Blake Of NcW Hagsn o'aa
o. the san yeas Of bis age.
Funerai services via BE- heid a. Ccnier $50
NeN Haven. Conn. on Tuesdly haI ~
80 ?. n. Carriages viii meet train fa'H'
Gr.ind Centrai Depot I'm.
CULBERTSON ORE Culbcrtsoa. srryirr, Is
FvSERAL CHURCH.- "a W "a ~ .tssNA
CANFBELL BLD0J. Tuesday, ioA.M
DENNY On May q. isia sophie Bropu pgaar
Drrty ulfe % John 7. Denny.
Funeral services AZ her iatc resiieucc W.
soi g. on Tuesday morning. NJ Co. ~
O'Clock. lntsrment prIVsts.
HOwELL-uu Friday. Nay =. ~ rs' sl1'
Wcstbamntup hfach. Tong isianf DO
LgaiA n. hs==n. gttou 6! Gsr'
Howell
Funeral from her late rcsideace. FOL h.'h.
Nay -. ~ 70 oClosk no1n. tei'c Tail ''
IT, tthuou SO An
KlNkEA.D.- After . short Hines on Ma > =
Louir',iiie. ky..l me ou'h year u his aEe Z.
Rev n. y kinkead. pastor Of lunf iA-
Conception Church. NoungsiDun. ono
Tunerai services on M0uday % Nolnfs'o-l
Onto
wuTTTtfHOHE .--Iohn Hossrd WhiitlnSis. p
ti.e7ad year of hk agr
Fumrrsl a. his latg rusiianee NauEaiar-, 81
'rursiny, MAJ 10, at2P A. u Is re4a3..
that no nuuers be scuL intrrmvu. %
cunvuuienCe Of Toe family.