Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-10-20
WHEN ABNER
GOT MAD
By NJ QUAD
Copyright. 1910. by Associated Lit
erary Press.
BY NJ QUAD

the question. She lived with her wild.
owed mother in the village, and he
worked a little farm just outside.
Abner wasn't lazy. He was Just
good natured poke OF man. He was
going to get married some day, but
there was no hurry about II. He al
ways talked as IL he intended to marry
Eunice. but he didn't come down to
details He didn't ask her to name
the day and arrange the bridal tour.
Eunicc liked Abner and bore with him.
but she was getting rather tired Of 1t
| when Ter Aunt Hannah came on a
Visit Aunt Hannah saw Abner two
or three times. understood his nature
ana then said to her niece:
look here. you've got n poke of n
man hanging around after you. and IL
may he ten years more before he'll
say anything about marriage. Are
you going TO put up with IL or do
something's
why, auntie. what can do?"
Get mad at him and make him
think he's going to lose you"
HE only laughs when / get mad"
Then set I'm and criticlse his feet.
his nose. his eyebrows. Tell him that
he's the homeliest man you ever saw"
81 don't think he'd mind 1t at ALL"
Didn't you ever see him show any
tcmperg"
Not bit He was run over by
droye of hogs once and got up laugh
Ing. No, YOU can't make Abner mad
He's poke. but an awfully good
man.
And are you going to keep right on
for the next fifty years. are youT
One afternoon three or four days
later vinegar barrel with one head
out was left Mt the house by the grocer
ITO be used as Il rain barrel. The house
stood on quite n hill. and there was
sharp slope down TO the village street.
About the hour Abncr usually appear.
ed Eunice was sent on an errand to
the other side of the village. ard when
the poke" arrived Aunt Hannah was
the one TO greet him. She took him
To the corner of the house where the
barrel stood and promptly began:
See here. Mr.. Jackson, you've been
| dawdling around here for years. What
are you after?"
Why Why he stammered rs he
leaned up against the house and could
say no more.
"Oh. you can't tell. knew you
couldn't. You've come here almost ev-
| cry night I'm the week for months and
years and squatted yourself down. and
what for? Your talk can't interest
anybody. The sight OF you isn't in
spring. IL / was Eunice I'd just az
soon have wooden man around. And
yet you come and squat and squat
ask you, sir. what you mean by such
conduct"
II guess I'll go home" answered
Abner. who was too astonished to see
| straight
And ] guess you won't" said Aunt
Hannah. lat least not until you have
explained yourself I've been looking
| at you. IF | had COW as LONELY az
| you are I'd knock her in the head with
the ak. Hump shouldered. bowlegged
and feet like an elephant. and yet you
come here and squnt around and take
up girls time! Why, man, what can
you think of yourselfT'
III never come again. exclaimed
| Abner I'm q changed voice.
That's good. That's what | want
ed to hear you say. Go and squat
somewhere else. Go and find the home
Hest girl in the country 20 match you.
The first time ] saw you I knew you
was n poke OF man and You hadn't
J grit enough TO push toad of it's nest"
woman. be careful. If you agra
vate me too much
"Aggravate an old poke! Why. man.
it would take you three years TO get
mad, even If you started I'm tonight"
The next thing she knew she was
being lifted Off her feet I'm Abner's
strong arms and deposited i'm the handy
barrel. Before she could yelp twice
the barrel was whirled on its side
| and given kick to start Il down the
slope. 1t took an erratic course. II
ran TO the right a few feet and then
| SHE'D TO the left. II stopped for II
moment at gooseberry bush and
! then lodged and Jumped clear over n
crabapple tree. There were yelling and
screaming from the inmate OF the bar
rel, but Abner stood and watched the
circus and shouted back:
'J'm a poke. am I? I'm a squattcr.
am I? I've got bowlegs and bumped
shoulders and feet like an elephant.
| Col durn your hide, roll on
| And the barrel rolled. and Aunt Han
nah rolled. and neither Of them stop
! ped rolling till the barrel crashed
through the fence md brought up
against n shade tree in tho street 80
| one WINS killed. No bones were broken
| Aunt Hannah crept out and up to the
house and was just finished with the
last OF the arnica when Miss Eunice
came rushing in with radiant face to
| exclaim:
| II was coming back homeland 7
met Abner-and he was swearing
| and he grabbed me by the ARMAND
hc said he'd brook my uock II I dfdn't