davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1910-12-01
NOT ENOUGH POLICEMEN

The numerous attempted robberies
in Columbia recently have put Colum-
bia people in a state of uneasiness and
fear. The inadequate police force of
this city is directly responsible. In
the last year, thugs and thieves have
molested students And citizens boldly,
and have entered houses and made
away with valuable property, almost
at will.
With four policemen in a city the
size of Columbia what else could be
expected? Thugs and thieves keep
their eyes open for just such places
as this. They operate where there
is the least danger of being caught,
and Columbia has offered great oppor-
tunities to them in the last year.
1t has been said that many of the
attempts at house-breaking were COM
mitted by negroes. 1t is probable
that these negroes live within the
city limits. They should be looked
after by the police
The town should be rid of these per-
sons, and the police force should be
enlarged in order to keep them out
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1910-12-01

DR.. Dudley A. Sargent OF Harvard
University says the woman of today
is much stronger than her predeces-
sor of twenty years ago, and is rapidly
approaching the physical standard of
the so-called stronger sex. This must
be a knockout for Premier Asquith.
Just think what he will have to con-
tend with in few years.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1910-12-01

1t is said that nearly seven trillion
cigarettes were manufactured in the
United States last year If the state
ment is correct the United States must
lead in the production of cigarettes,
for if the other nations turned out
as many in proportion to their popula-
ton it would be impossible to con-
sumo all of them. All the men in the
United States, smoking continuously
could not smoke last years home pro-
duction in threa years.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1910-12-01

The wholesale snatching of "firsts"
by the stock-iudging team of the Uni
versity of Missouri at the International
Stock Show in Chicago has been given
appropriate space in Chicago papers.
This is first class advertisement.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1910-12-01

land every other student in the Uni
jversity should join them in rejoicing
ioyer this victory.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1910-12-01

east and west. Train No. - makes connections
II. d. BELL. Local Aasut,
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-05-04

| doant care 10 have my wife have
mOar agility than she has now She
went shopping the other day. Pa sed
walked thru about sewing miles of de-
partment floors, climbed up G. down
the Sub & elevated steps forty times
sswung on G of OF eight 81
surface cars, & calm hoam with
yard Of gingam for the Cooks apron.
That is speed enuff for one famibly,
Sod Fa a as far as agility Is con
cerned. Pa sed. how does that make
YOU CRATE. Lord Byron was lame. Pa
sed, the CRATE Lord Byron. G. had 10
walk sloN-but he was Lord Byron.
jest the saim. x think of all the brite
yung brakCmen. at 81 per day. witch
can swing onto a trane going twenty
miles hour. Agility doesn't git you
much, Pa sed, unless you are a porch
climber
But think Of how much longer yure
vile will live sed one (l) OF the Oar
ing Danes That is what | was say
ing TO my husband, & he gaiv me the
hundred. That is our best argument.
the Daring Dame sed TO Pa Well,
sed Pa. | am not sure that that is a
CRATE argument at all Long life
doesn't mean everything. sed Pa.
know men witch has lived two hundred
years in dee-cade. sed Pa. & they
was married men. too
After all, gals sed Pa, 10 the Oar.
ing Danes. what is a long life or a
short one? The average lift OF man,
sed Pa, Is but pin point on the bill
yum mile chart OF eternity. Today We
are here, az tomorrow we are in hoe
Ali. we'll sed Pa let us not discuss il
any further. Thare isent a chanst in
tnc world for me 10 kick In with a
hundred dollar note
Well. scd Ma. II yOu ioant want me
20 beelong to order wich meens
CRATE hclth for me. G a splendid fig
ger. then ! will swallow my disap-
polntment & Jest keep on doing
hOusewOrk. as OF yore
Well, sed Pa, If you feel as bad
about il as that. here is a hundred
dollars. but I wish you wud cit sum
good out OF It, go e. git yourself sum
summer frocks SO Ma went &
bought dresses, e. now she says she
doesn't want to be a Daring Dame &
Iced n long life
Ma likes Pa vary much, & she likes
the hundred dollars. too.
Wimmen is all alike.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-05-04

upon the floor, by the owner of the
beverage. OF course all the germs
we're washed of my feet by the wet
ting. but | dried up soon and New
away.
Last fall most OF my fly friends
died but hid away in warm nook
in the kitchen where had plenty
OF dirt and filth TO spend the cold win
ter in.
cannot begin to tell all about my
descendants. for there are too many
of them Why, | was counting them
one dreary day last December and |
found that my grandchildren down 10
the tenth generation brought up the
total number OF my offspring TO 1885,
COO 900. 900 900 000-not counting NY
wife. who was swallowed ny a little
baby last August and myself.
shall get married again soon. and
as the DAYS are getting hot III leave
the kitchen because another woman
has moved i'm and she keeps every
thing too COMPOUNDED clean to suit me.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-05-04
ANOTHER OLD BUCKET
By JAMES ARTHUR MILLs.

How to M the places gambed
Every could cartwheel or two;
track ne the wheel as II rambled
And loved spot that my salary knew;
The a dime could try II,
The fat IA bank where last coin I'd drop.
The small game the redeye joint nigh II,
Ande en- bucket that hung in the shop;
The octopus the stock ticker bucket,
he botomless bucket that hung in the shop.
That seductive bucket fed all treasure,
nd a night hard luck tale / spelled,
And ate a few spoonfuls OF bean with pleasure,
To keep alive till again heeed,
purchased, with hopes that glowing,
Re TO bottom and turned hp-hop;
nd when would sell, with coin overlooking,
The Gus thing the top OF the shop;
bucket, the stock ticker bucket,
bottomess bucket to the top
How twould have been in hands to receive IL
That profit which all the time the slip;
there nothing could tempt me TO leave
| had hooked the last shirt in grip
Blu nov Uncle nabs loved habitation,
And tears. though in vain. will intrusyely drop
AS fancy the intoxcation
got the bucket that hung In the shop;
he octopu bucket. the stock ticker bucket,
bucket that hung the
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-05-04
LITTLE Boobies PA
By WILLIAM =. KIRK. In the New ork American.

me maik my posishun cleer, sed Pa.
You doant git any 500 out Of me this
month
Then YOU doant want to see yure
luying wife git thinner? sed Ma
No, sed Pa. you are jest right the
way you are wuddent have you
changed particle.
Jest then the Comfy of the Daring
Danes calm in 20 git Pas 800. d
Ma introduced them TO Pa e thay all
sat down Iure wife tells us, they
sed 10 Pa, that you wud kick in with
800 the saim as our other husbands
has did, so we can get trapeeze d
pair OF horizontal bars. in order
that we may BEGUN 1.-THE q graceful,
& have CRATE agility.
Well ladies. sed Pa, do not wish
10 seem a tight wad but the Jacks
Ia the case is these, breezy stated
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-05-04

My Ma has got a other new club. IT
Ia called the Daring Danes. a. every
one Of the members has got TO lern TO
swing on the horizontal bars Il the
trapeeze. You see. sed Ma 20 Pa. last
mite. wen us girls gifts ON our GIN
nasium suites in the little private GIN
nasium ware none of our husbands
can cum at all, We will Tern all them
exercises wich makes fine fggers d
maiks us live longer & cit mOar out
OF life. All We need apeece, my deer,
is 800. payabel in advance, so We
can git moar out Of life.
see, sed Pa. you want TO mace
me for a century note Well, baby,
sed Pa. doant care how much you
& yure lady trends git ont OF life, but
do care how much YOU git ont Of
me. that is the main issue Now. let
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-05-04

tured out upon the tanglefoot swamps
and got stuck so tightly that she pulled
eff all her legs trying TO get 10 safety.
NV father too, met an untimoly
death at the hands of a little boy with
rubber band.
AS soon as became a fy | learned
how 10 fly and how TO hang on the
ceiling waiting for morning TO come
so that | might hop upon somebody
face or head or crawl over the sugar
or the butter or the bread.
When | was old enough TO fly |
married and 10 days later was made
the father of 100 dear little fly chill
dren. We DO not believe in race sui-
eide i was a grandfather 10 14.4o0
hy children before | was more than a
month old No. Mr. Roosevelt did
not pin any medals on me Some 81
my brothers. no older than |. mad
even larger families.
Some people think that we flies arc
mere nuisances and ought not 10 be
tolerated But there are some mcE
who ought 10 be very thankful to us
for we have helped them in their
business wonderfully. II ! had my
way dIDut II, fNtiF NAW'i w
tor, grave digger, druggist and hearse
driver would pay us commission. II
IL were not for us the cemeteries and
crematories wouldn't he near filled,
and the casket makers would be
working on half time.
Why, ! know lots of cases whore
carefully gathered up a million or
two germs upon my feet and toted
them into houses that had no screens
There was the case Of that kind lady
who did not have any screens upon
her house Later on. when the kind
lady and then her son died Of typhoid
fever. and the house went TO a dis
tant relative. he was unknd enough
to put up screens Just TO keep VIZ out.
Now, isn't that gratitude for you,
| like 10 eat the first few courses
OF my dinner al the garbage pail Or
i'm the barn or the clubhouse, and then
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-05-04
BY MR.. A. PESkY FLY.

| don't remember much Of my In
fancy. for | was only maggot then
and not a real fly. | did not get far
from the manure pile, where | was
born. but | had lots OF company there.
for that was the fly parlor for all
the flies near kind Mr.. Jones house.
refer 10 him as kind because he
was nice about leaving that manure
pile undisturbed all the time | anu
my brothers and sisters and cousins
we're growing 10 be flies.
II he had removed our home IL
would have killed us all So don't
you see why should start my auto
biography by giving credit for our
existence TO the man who kept his
yard so nicely unclean?
II is usual TO tell something about
ones parents. but | never saw mine.
| have heard that my mother ven
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-05-04

fly 10 the baby's crib for some milk
out OF the babys bottle Often the
baby dies in few days. sand then
have 10 find another baby with
bottle. Some people are mean enough
to intimate that | have caused the
death of the child. Certainly the
haby's mother wanted me TO drink the
baby's milk, or she wouldn't have left
the mosquito bar off the crib.
All OF my fly friends have special
ties Some OF them live in the barn
and only go to the house to crawl
over the food upon the dinner table;
others live altogether in the house
mostly in the kitchen; that is, II
the kitchen isn't too clean; many ~
my brothers and sisters prefer The
outhouses. only occasionally taking
a bath in a glass of water on the din
ing room table.
am making a speciality OF visit
ing the rooms OF sick people. Wher
ever they have any contagious fever
or anything like that | am right on
the spot. can carry away more
disease breeding microbes upon my
feet than any other fly know.
What do | do with them? oh.
like 10 fly 10 some other house where
they are not sick and leave the nh
crobes. | like funerals, and some
times when | sit upon a coffin | feel
quite proud OF my efforts often
wonder whether the parents know
that the murderer OF the little body
within the casket is me. But they
must have wanted me 10 do IL or they
wouldn't have invited me TO their
home ! always take no screens and
a dirty yard as an invitation.
have had many narrow escapes.
At first | hankered after the tangle-
foot. but | remembered my mothers
fate and kept OF. Several times
when was just full OF microbes ac'
cidentally fell into cup OF coffee or a
glass OF water but | was saved every
time by being taken out, and thrown
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-05-04

and only as ideal women. What does
II mean that the words used to ex.
press the human conception Of its re-
lation 10 government, are still fem
mine?
Country. nation. patriotims Justice
tht republic, is it an accident that
these rise unconsciously 10 every
mind as daughters OF mother
tongue Liberty enlightening the
world is in womans form.
This means that the world which is
out of sight. upon which all else rests.
is the woman's world II means that
II is the maternal instinct which has
placed her son in the seats he occu-
pies. II the man in China is an arbi-
trary ruler, while the womans feet
are bound 50 that motion is impos-
sible it IS the mother whose mistaken
instincts has exalted the one and ban.
daged the other. That America is the
land OF freedom Is due 10 the fact
that the ideals OF Christian woman
has inspired their sons with the de
sire 70 use their power. And there is
no other method by which We can
continue to progress
The suffrage writings are full of the
btterest and most mistaken accusa-
tions. because Of failure OF the author
20 grasp the more hidden truth. II
woman's ideal becomes so perverted
that she fancies that she can raise
herself or obtain some Kind OF I'M
wontod thing which she falsely calls
equality" she will endanger the true
equality which she now possesses. set
back the wheels OF progress, and rem
der herself an immortal laughing
stock subject of M rriment which
is sad and pitiful not harmonious and
free.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-05-04
IRON Another Point of View
well, where did your umbrella wind IN?

well, whe umbrella wind w?
Think however
nothing
In fact
poson to date
Lake Michigan sort OF
An nvestg Illinois.
1ustfor having sweetened
would imagine Danvl H.
berdof elephants
hasn't been around this years. no
woman she Ialeys the last time
Those elephants Danyle significantly seemed
everything but Joe
and
that at some Smith Bush's piano
New orkco
II
for aeHorka
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-05-04
Not a Triumph Of Big
Feet, but of a Strong
Heart, Was Aged WestOn's
When He Failed In the First At
tempt He Said He Would Try
~ Again. and He Did and
He Succeeded.

n Weston left Santa MonicO, a
aide resort Angeles February l.
He did Sundays deducted from the actual
number intervening the start and his arrival
in New York, leaving the II days
The distance between starting point and destination including
detour made by the the grand Of Colorado Weston
places at ssl miles
say however should be credited with
greater mileage made from
TIE railroads to get better path
Weons longest days walk 70 miles
remarkable accomplishment
i the Weston S 72 years of
1907 Maine in
100 days
lO4 failure
muddy try again
When Weston reached New York persons wanted his
surprise they found
to be white and soft and well-haped.
He told them he bathed times
always dried them we'll white stockings
That's added old codger very
well it wasn't
He knew well that there wasn't the crowd about him
boy either duplicate just the
simply bathing salt wearing
stockings
The real secret back of triumph might told but he
will power something you
board and ask the friends pass around and look at
Somebody with finer of what Weston really had accomplished
might havea lin to exhibit his
would have had hold the number
which he covered them other
The accomplishment gentleman
legs feet
of the will and of strong heart
Had thing leg foot would have
oasion for surprise
his hands
He Il will" and he tried and failed
Then he said Il YET" tried and he SUCCEEDED
he of
thousands of miles upon the of his
arrival in New Monday second trial schedule time
Metropolis espied by the pupils of
,chcc up school and about march into their classes
great of Weston and the approach of the ped
trian up the line
school learned something just the
from the passing hero-enugh fact they there to
learn the school been obliged close for the rest OF
the day
The teacher opportunity if she failed
call the attention her charge that the
potuny is theirs preserved old the remarkable
who had just passed
With profit too conaed the smooth city pavement
upon which they west which he had
roads encountered and the streams he had
The should have drawn for her charges
the lesson of Weton for
every child:
First be fortified with healthy body kept strong the proper
Of it, select goal then give
In the the business struggle and the
ambition to gain good the old rule failed
KEEPING INCREASINGLY IT BRINGS SUCCESS
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-05-04
EXPENSIVE INSECT.

Allowing for time lost by sick
ness. expense for medical treat
men. etc. typhoid alone. for
which the fy is so largely re
sponsible. costs the people "
the United States S350,0Q0,000
annually" saws DR.. G.. VI.
Kober. Washington. d. G.
SWAT THE FLY
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-05-04
Should Women Want to Vote2
(NEGATIVE.)
BY Mrs. Helen Kendrick Johnson.
(Author Woman and the Repubuc)

Is truth so trite that we often fail
10 grasp its true significance. What
does IL mean that in all languages the
fundamental virtues are always pre-
scented as feminine? Truth. chastity
honor, temperance. religion itself, are
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-05-04

feminine What does ii mean that
the concentions on which civilization
and It's progress are based are fem
mime?
Industry art. commerce. literature,
poetry, beauty, We see them. always
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-05-04
n There Were No Flies.

II There Were No Flies.
10000, 900 years would he
added 10 the lives of the people
OF the United States. or 1000
600 lives of the present average
length. and $4,000 GOO 900
saved" saws Or Daniel ID.
Jackson. New York.
SWAT THE FLY,
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-05-04
The Truth. No Matter
Whom II Helps or Hurts.

Bringing up at the city hall in
New York. Monday afternoon, with
a letter to Mayor Gaynor from the
mayor of Los Angeles, Cal, Edward
PaysoR Weston had completed his
second journey from sea to sea en-
foot. =
seventy.seven days were required
for the trip.
Weston left Santa Monico, a sea
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-05-04

Dalton, famous color-blind English
chemist who, as Quaker did not
think II right TO wear bright colors,
wore the bright scarlet doctors gown
presented 10 him at Oxford university
on the street. 10 the amusement OF
the crowds. II looked a dark green
TO him.
There are fewer color-blind women
than men.
Il had an awiully close shave II.
the town this morning he said.
Mercy, Jack, What was the mat
ter she T1spct.
II needed IT," he answered.
Too much smoking may cause color.
blindness.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-05-04
AN OBJECT LESSON.

denounced hin
a nj what
mo; but when i looked at Chauncey knew"
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-05-04
MAKING 1T EASIER FOR HIM.

viii 81 ing an o eyebrows" gushed he
maybe I'll
NJ
The Elbert County tribune., 1910-09-16
Rock Butte

Charles Wright moved his FANNY .
the James Neely ranch west of Elbert.
Paul Peterson came "Wednesday for a
shortpisit retur ming to Colson SD. Fri
day.
Harry Cooradt of Paonia visited friends
here few days last week.
Mr. Bently came home from a trip to
SD. Wednesday.
Frank GODDARD went to La-Jara Fri
day to visit friends.
Julius Protze of Norton was iu Eliza
beth trading last week.
Joe Crowfoet moved to Kiowa last
week and is hack driver now.
Mrs Crowfoot went to Denver Monday
Oscar johnson spent several days in
Denver last week.
Miss Lewis of Morrison is teaching in
the north end OF district IA.
Ralph Garland of Nebraska is visiting
his cousins Frahk ane Fred Garlanc.
Paul Jones and wife visited G f Wight
last week.
Mrsers Manlin, Kunze Etter and Dins
| more visited their father and sister Mr.
and Miss Tee at Manitou last weed.
Mr. Jones and daughter Mrs A Cooper
of Marshalltown Iowa visitad Mrs j +
Mayer the Jones Bros Mrs c 2 Wight.
and Tom Williams last week, Mr. Jones
though So years old is hale and heart,
and a pioneer of Marshall County.
The Elbert County tribune., 1910-09-16
Special Premiums

For the Elbert County Fair to be held
at Elbert Colo. on Sept. %.
q case J.S.B. canned Fruit on best
display of grain.
= case J.S.B. canned fruit for the
dest display of jellys and jams.
Through the Russell Gates Mercantile &C
One ten gallon milk can from the wind
sor farm Dairy for the best dairy COW.
Joe Smith gives $40 for the best colt
out of his horse and $40 for the best mul,
colt out Of his Jack.
The Barteldes Seed co gives $40 worth
of seeds in prizes on grains and vegetables
The Griffith Shoe co gives pair shoes
on some grain.
Shields Morley Mer. co. Through
the Peoples Store Co.
21s Gal. Sadders maple Syrup.
22lb cans white house coffee.
gal. country house sorghum.
l galAFancy table syrup.
Box of Exports.
The Elbert County tribune., 1910-09-16
WeStmOnt Heights

20 dollars buys lot in west Mont
Heights an Ideal location; Fifteen hun
dred lots above have been sold, paid for
and regularly recorded. Now may buy
tommsrrow cannot. This ideal addition
is just north of the thriving 5000 city of
Las Cruces, New Mexico. where over one
million dollars worth of products will be
sold monthly whea the great Elephant
Butte dam is completed. The first unit
OF the Elephant Butte dam known as The
Cosburg Division dam has been finish
ed and IrrIgates twenty thousand
acres in this vicinity Of Las Cruces, max
NJ tnat city the metropolis OF the great
deseiia Valley, over fifty new houses
nave been erected In Las Cruces In tne
last three months, therefore one eau
easily concevc the rapid gaowth thae
VIII take place IA the city wnem tue ~
'phant Butte dam is finally compIeteu
West Mont Heights If almost free froin
lust, sandstorms, aud frost, mas natura.
Iraldage anu oyerioo6s tue great Mesi.ia
valley. Al l1eal location Nnure oVsl
diteen hunured lUts nave been sold pai.
tor and recorded, every purchaser 10
very nlucn intnuscd aad PERFECTLY salls
ned. Several pIrtties aAyo OJdgnI the
second ums atesr ndyins visieed Las
cruces. For iurener paftlcuiats writ,
Jonn slussey, hiowa, Co.orauo
The Elbert County tribune., 1910-09-16
How's This

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward
for any case of Catarrah that cannot be-
cured by Halls Catarrah Cure. F J Che
ney and Co, Toledo, o. We the under
signed, have known f j Cheney for tn,
last Do years, and believe him perfectly
honorable in all business transaction,
and financially able to carry out any oh
legations mads by his firm.
Walding, Kinnan and Marvin,
Wholesale, Druggists, Teledo, o,
Halls Catarrah Cure is taken intern.
ally, acting directly upon the blood and
moucus surfaces of the system. Testimo
nials sent free. Price Toe. per bottle. Sold
by all druggists.
Take Halls Family Pills for constip
ton.
The Elbert County tribune., 1910-09-16

WANTED-Cosm1politan Maga1in.
sequires the Services of represenally
.n Ebert Colo. to LOOK after suoscripuo.
renewals aud to extend circulation b.
special methods wnIch nave proven un.
Usual successful Salary and commission
Previous experience desirable but no.
essencial. Whole time or spare time
Address, with references, Ii C Camp
bell Cosmopolitan Mag gazlne, 1883 Broao
way. New York.City
The Elbert County tribune., 1910-09-16
c0L02i01 INTERSTATE FAIR AMI
EXPOSITION DENVER, SEPT. s TO IL

For the tnIrd annual Colorado Iutei
State Fair and Exposition to be held a,
Denver, Sept, 3 to II inclusive the Colo
rado and Southern will make rate oil
one fare for tas round trip from all points
and tickets will be on sale September 8
l, g, 3, 10, y, Ii. Final limit Septe mbe
10Th 1910.