The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-03-04
STATESMEN RAPED
BY MICHIGANDERS
Senatorial Fight Burlesqued
at Club Banquet.
WILSON STARTS MERRIMENT
Using Fork as Magic wand, Trans
ports Club to Grand Rapids, Where
Political Meeting Takes PIaee-Im-
persenator of Representative I'm
able to Explain Gas Conditions.

Michigan statesmen were numerically
arraigned last night at the annual BAN
quet of the Michigan Social Club A bur
lesque on Who Shall Be Senator" hing
ed on the Senatorial fight now, waxing
warm in the Wolverine State.
Senator Burrows. Representative Town
send. and several other lawmakers were
impeTsOnated by members Of the club.
President Burridge Wilson started the
fun. Using his fork as a magic wand.
he transported the entire club and its
guests to Powers Theater, Grand Rapids.
where all would participate in mass
meeting preliminary TO the Senatorial
primaries. He waved his magic wand
again, and the curtain went up, reveal
ing Henry NJ. Rose in the role of Repre-
sentative Hamilton. temporary chairman
Of the political meeting He was sur
rounded by a galaxy Of misft representa-
tions Of Michigan craftsmanship.
No Difference 10 Him.
Hon. Gerrit ]. Diekema, in the person
OF Daniel A. Edwards. was next intro
duced as the permanent chairman OF the
meeting "Diekema" made IT clear that
il was no difference who was President
OF the United States or Senator from
Michigan so long as he was elected
Speaker Of the House.
Then came William Alden Smith. i'm
personated by Lewis NJ. Miller, armed
with his good, old umbrella. The Senator
tapped his wings and declared it was a
momentous occasion. he told the glori-
Gus story of putting the minions OF Cuba
TO rout. and declared he was modest
when he told how he saved the water
power of the 500 and knocked the rail-
road bond clause from the Aldrieh cur
rency bill
The buriesquer OF Samuel w Smith.
chairman of the House District Commit
tee, declared Charles f. Townsend is the
friend OF Taft was the friend OF Roose-
welt. Mckinley. Lincoln, and Washington.
and would be the friend OF every Presi-
dent who bobbed up on the horizon
Smith said nice things Of Senator
Burrows. until a citizen Of washington
in the audience shouted. why doesn't
Washington have universal transfers %
The speaker sidestepped this ques-
ton, and then another Washington
man, who demanded 20 know why Wash
ington was misrested by the gas mo-
nopoly He replied that washington had
the finest gas plant IN the world. daily
producing the greatest quantity of gas.
which could be found IN any city Of the
country
Il don't mean that gas plant on the hill
the House Of Representatives. shouted
the irate Washingtonian. 7 was talk
ing about the kind of gas we burn. Give
me a straight answer if you can"
Who are you. anyway"
Il give it up" was the reply.
Something I'm Way.
Representative DENLY, misinterpreted
by Claude Curtiss. tried 10 make IL clear
why he was not running for the Senate.
He said he was too busy running for the
room in which the Ballinger-Pinchot in
Quiry is progressing.
Representative Townsend, impersonated
by Daniel 2, Mcclure, was introduced as
the near-insurgent who got chilled feet.
Some Of my friends are troubled about
my insurgency" he said. but one roar
of the Cannon, one below of Payne. and
I was fearless standpatter again"
Various speakers mentioned the posi-
bility OF a dark house in the Senatorial
race. A tail hostler dashed OUT upon
the stage and curbed the spirit of 3 dark
horse not more than one hand high.
A seat was reserved on the stage for
Senator Burrows. who did not arrive un-
til late in the evening, when he came
upon the stage impersonated by John NJ.
Wolcott.
Fears were entertained that he might
not find his way back to Michigan again.
Burrows started to make a good old
fashioned speech. but Billy Mcknight,
a prominent Michigan Democrat, imper-
sonated by Jason Waterman, started in
to paint the Republicans deep red, but
were in the majority. He
was yelled down. and Democracy was
once more pulled from aloft and ground
In the dust
Lawmakers at Banquet.
About 125 were present, among whom
we're Representative Loud. Representa-
tive Diekema, Representative Townsend.
Representative Gardner, Chaplain Henry
n. Couden, Henry NJ Rose, assistant
secretary Of the Senate; Representative
Representative Young. and
Fordney
officers of the association are: Bur
ridge Wilson. president; Mrs. T. Hicks.
first vice president; DR.. S. c. johnson.
second vice president; H A. Babcock,
aid J. c. Weldon, treasurer.
The banquet committee consisted of John
c. Weldon. Jason Waterman, H. V. Bis
bee. L. M. Miller. and O. A Calkins. En-
F. Harvey, DR.. Stuart
c. Johnson. D. A Edwards. and Ralph
Tower. Reception-Mr. and Mrs w. W.
Mr.. and Mrs H. A. Babcock.
Mr.. and Mrs. H. c. Pierce, Mr.. and Mrs.
II. E. Ayler. Mr. and Mrs. w. T. Heb
bard. Mr.. and Mrs. c. D. Mills, Mrs.
Spencer, Miss Leila Blain. w. G. We'll
den, DR.. S. o. eraser, Miss L. E. Collar,
and Mr.. and Mrs. A. Mcmillan