Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-07-14
Going Out to
Dinner

Il went out TO dinner the other
night" reminiscently said the man
who had just succeeded in lighting his
cigar with the third match. I'm fact,
/ went out to dinner in such a whole
souled, enthusiastic way that haven't
recovered yet!
"You see, the Walworths, who live
at big family hotel, invited us out
on a Thursday night for dinner and
the dance following. The dances al
ways are dress-up affairs and my wife
reminded me in the morning that I
must get home early from the office
in order to surround myself with my
evening clothes. I nearly broke my
neck to do so. My collar button rolled
away only twice and managed to find
the hooks on the back of my wife's
gown-she had a brand new party
dress-so we arrived only half an
hour late.
1--WE went right upstairs to the Wal
worths' suite and tapped on the door.
There was no answer. Then 1 knocked
hard. Nothing happened.
well, think that's queer said
my wife. She was anxious to get
some powder on her nose and was ir-
ritable. She said she'd wait there
while went down to the desk to in
quire about our host
"The clerk said the Walworths were
in at dinner. made him repeat the
statement, which he did, distinctly and
calmly. He seemed utterly unmoved
by the situation. When I got my
breath and told him to have my name
sent in he seemed dubious He said
Mir. Walworth didn't like to be dis
turbed when he was in the dining
room, but If insisted"
II told him in a carefully repressed
tone that did insist.
Presently Walworth came out. He
came with an air of irritated SURPRISE
Which was hard to beat. Moreover, he
had on his business suit He greeted
me with politeness and then remarked
that he and Mrs. Walworth were with
in Is minutes of finishing dinner, and
would l take the evening paper and
amuse myself until
Il think my face must have halted
him there, for he trailed off into moth
ing, and finally blurted out, Say, what
the dickens do you want, anyhow
II blew up then. WANT 1 roared,
letting my overcoat fall back so he
might see my expanse of shirt front.
What the deuce do you suppose l
want? Do you think / travelled away
down here just for the pleasure of
gazing upon your countenance? 1
want dinner, you unmitigated chump!
Didn't you ask me down? And up
stairs in the hall, outside your door,
is my wife, patiently waiting, unless
she has died from hunger since 1 left
her there!'
well, Walworth twined himself
over the desk ard roared. You
thought it was Thursday night, didn't
you? he inquired, soothingly Well,
1t happens to be Wednesday night
"And so it was. My wife and
never will know how we CHANGED to
skip day. When we had collected
my wife and Walworth's we held
council of war. Jessie absolutely re-
fused to enter the hotel dining-room
in an evening gown and pearls when
everyone else was peacefully dining
in off-night costume. Then l rose to
the occasion.
"The joke said I, is on me. Come
on-we'll all go out to the country
club and have dinner!'
"Then Mrs. Walworth got into the
game. WHAT she cried, and in
shirtwaist and tailor suit and Jessie
in all those things!'
"Well, finally the girls compromised.
We went up to the Walworths' rooms
and, while Jessie toned down her gor-
geousness Mrs. Walworth began stick
ing things on. Jessie took off her
jeweled bandeau and donned Mrs. Wal
worth's turban and promised to keep
on her wrap, which was only mildly
hilarious. Mrs. Walworth wore her
new spring hat, a bunch of violets and
some extra chains and pins to help
out her plain tailor suit, and Wal
worth just had to grin and bear his
business clothes.
1--WE couldn't get a train, so Wal
worth phoned for taxi and when it
came it was in charge of pirate,
who confided that he was only re-
pair man and, while our lives were
safe in his hands, he didn't know a
thing about the way to get to the club.
So Walworth had to sit out in front
with the driver.
"When we got there we met every
living soul we knew and each one took
separate stare at our anonymously
CARRIED party.
Coming home the locomotive broke
down and we had to walk across a
stubble field to street car
after all that Walworth and his
wife had the nerve to ask sweetly if
we weren't going to go through all
that dress agony again and come to
the dance the next night! I'm afraid
the Walworths have no sense of hui
mor!"