davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-04-05
humorous department.

Drawing Observation-Disclosures Lin
coin once told the following story to
d. H. Bates, manager of the war de-
partment telegraph office:
I'm like an old colored man l
knew. He spent so much of his time
preaching to the other slaves it kept
him and them from their labors. His
master told him he would punish him
the next time he was was caught
preaching.
But, marsa,' said the old man,
with tears in his eyes, 1 always has
to draw influences from Bible texts
when dey comes in ma haid. l jes'
CANT help it, Can you, marsa"
We'll, said his master, 1 suspect
| do sometimes draw differences. But
there is one text l never could under
stand, and if you can draw the right
inference from it I'll let you preach
to your hearts content
What is de text, marsa? asked
the colored man.
The ass snuffeth up the east
wind" Now what inference do you
draw from that?'
well, marsa, is neber heard dat
text befo' nohow, but l 'spects de IN
fruence am she got to snuff a long
time befo' she get fat '-Pittsburs
Chronicle Telegraph.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-04-05
tor Chr 9etlaimrrs.
OTHELLO'S APOLOGY.

Most potent, grave, and reverend seis-
niors:
My very noble, and approved good
masters:
That l have taen away this old mans
daughter,
1t is most true; true. l have married
her:
The very head and front of my Of
Tending
Hath this extent; no more.
Rude am l in speech,
And little blessed with the set phrase
of peace:
For since these arms of mine had
seven years pith,
Till now some nine moons wasted, they
have used
Their dearest action in the tented held;
And little of this great world can l
speak,
More than pertains to feats OF DrOlls
and battle;
And therefore, little shall l grace by
cause,
In speaking of myself.
Yet, by your patience,
l will, a round, unvarnished tale de-
liver,
drugs, what charms,
What conjuration, and what mighty
magic
For such proceedings am charged
withal-
| won his daughter with.
Her father loved me: oft invited me;
Still questioned me the story of my
life,
From year to year: the battles, sieges,
fortunes,
That l had past.
l ran it through cen from my boyish
days,
To the very moment that he bade me
tell it.
Wherein l Spake of most disastrous
chances;
OF moving accidents by flood and field:
OF hairbreadtn 'scapes, in the imminent
deadly breach:
OF being taken by the insOlent foe,
And sold to slavery: of my redemption
thence,
And with it all my travels history.
All these to hear,
Would Desdemona seriously incline;
But still the house affairs would draw
her thence,
Which ever as she could with haste
dispatch,
Shed come again, and with a greedy
ear,
Devour up my discourse. Which, OBJ
serving,
Took once a plant hour, ana founu
good means
To draw from her prayer of earnest
heart,
That would all my pilgrimage dilatc;
Whereof by parcels, she had something
heard,
But not distinctly.
l did consent;
And often did beguile her of her tears,
When l did speak of some diStressful
stroke,
That my youth suffered My story be-
ing done,
She gave me for my pains a world Of
sighs.
She swore in faith t was strange, t
was passing strange;
T was pitiful; t was wondrous pitiful;
She wished she had not heard it; yet
she wished
That heaven had made her such man
She thanked me,
And bade me, if l had friend that
loved her,
should but teach him how to tell my
story,
And that would WOO her. on this hint
l spake;
She loved me for the dangers | had
passed;
And loved her that she did pity them.
This is the only witchcraft which I've
used. Shakespeare.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-04-05
A LITTLE PlEASANTRY.
lie Tried 1t on the Duchess According
to the Rules

He Tried It on the Duchess According
to the Rules.
IF seated next to a lady at dinner
and if at a loss for a topic, touch
lightly on the weather. Then turn to
dress. If that fails, try little pleas
antry."
With these words from Etiquette
For the Populace" stamped upon his
memory, Mr.. Quckrich, who had made
a million out OF candles and thus gain
ed a sudden entry into society, escort
ed the Duchess of Dash into the din
ing room. The multiplicity Of forks
and knives and spoons staggered him.
The soup nearly made him faint. But
ne took his courage and an olive in
both hands and launched forth pluck
lily.
"BlOOmin' dull day, duch, amt it,
he began, recalling topic No. l.
"Ahem!" he coughed as he remem-
bered the next topic, dress "Er do
you wear flannel next the skin?'
A marble shoulder nearly knocked
him in the eye-a very cold and frigid
shoulder.
Hum" muttered Quickrich "Rath-
er ard to get along with. Let's see.
I'll try pleasantly"
The Duchess of Dash's back was
turned to him. He protruded a fore
finger and jabbed her in the ribs.
Click" he cried playfully.
And that absolutely did it, and him
self with it.-LOndon Answers.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-04-05

Short Meter Sermons the
clock that strikes loudest is farthest
off tn" time.
y chilly manner is not the best prep
aratiOnS for Il warmer climate.
The pleasures of folly never come
up To the promise of the pictures.
Religion is Il poor thing if you ncv-
er enjoy it till you get into trouble.
The better men see the faults Of
others, the more blind they are tn their
own needs.
No man believes in any real heaven
who does not sweat To make it real
here
The tendency Ia correct all creation
is often mistaken for the creation Of
correct character.
The man who gets into Il fever on
parade. often gets into Il funk when
tn" real fighting begins.
There are too many who want to
stand on tn" zero mark. neither minus
nor plus. i'm the moral scale
When a thing gets intolcrably bad.
we usually eliminate" it from the Ian
Euagc of dcc"ncy and leave it in ac-
tive existence.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-04-05

MYSTERIOUS Neutrality-suspicious. years
ago an expedition from the University
of PENNSYLVANIA was sent to one OF our
southern states for the purpose OF op-
serving a solar eclipse.
The day before the event one OF the
professors said to an old colored man
belonging to the household wherein the
scientist was quartered:
Tom, if you will watch your chick
ems tomorrow morning you'll find that
they'll all 90 to roost at IL o'clock.
Tom was, Of course sceptical; but at
the appointed hour the heavens were
darkened and the chickens retired to
roost. At this tine mans amazement
showed no bounds, and he sought out
the scientist.
"Perfessor," said he, how long ago
did you know dem chickens would go
to roost?"
About a year ago." said the profess
sor smiiingly.
We'll, eff dat don't beat ALL" was the
mans comment. "Perfessor, year ago
dem chickens want even Matched.
Ladies' Home Journal.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-04-05

Sadie's Last Resort.-Sadie, aged
three, who had been put to bed for an
afternoon nap, felt more inclined for
play than sleep. But her nurse, coaXed
back twice on some pretext, had re-
fused to return again. Resentfully
she thought of baby brother in the next
ROOM At the slightest sound from him
some one always hurried to the nur-
sery. The next instant she slipped out
of bed and opened the door of the ad-
joining room.
A minute later both mother and
nurse, aroused by piercing walls, rush
ed upstairs to see what was the mat
ter. The baby, his little face screwed
into a knot, lay in his crib, exercising
his lungs to their utmost capacity.
Beside him stood his small sister.
Il thought you'd come" she declar-
ed, wicked gleam of satisfaction in
her eyes.
Sadie" demanded her mother,
what have you been doing to Rob
ert?"
Il pinched him," was the surprising
answer.-Lippincott'
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-04-05
RESOLUTIONS:

l. Resolved, That an increase Of the
Capital Stock Of the York Cotton Mills,
as herein declared, is determined upon,
and the President Of this Company Is
hereby directed to call meeting Of the
Stockholders of this Company, to be
held at the Company's Office, at York
vile, S. c., on the Goth day Of April,
1910, at 3 o'clock p. m, for the purpose
Of authorizing the proper application
to the Secretary of State for such
amendments to the Charter of this
Company as may be necessary to in
crease the Capital Stock by an addi-
tional issue of 1,500 shares Of the par
value of $150,000, so that after such
increase the Capital Stock shall be 5000
shares of the par value Of 100000.
2. Resolved, That ii Is hereby rec
commended to the Stockholders at said
meeting to provide that the Capital
Stock when so increased shall be di-
vided into two classes as follows: Pre-
ferred Stock to the amount of One
Hundred and Fifty Thousand Dollars,
and Common Stock to the amount Of
One Hundred and Fifty Thousand DOL
lars.
The Preferred Stock to have prefer
ence over the Common Stock both as
to assets in case Of final liquidation and
as to cumulative dividends out Of the
net earnings to the extent of seven per
cent per annum.
The Common Stock shall not receive
any dividend in excess Of seven per
cent per annum during the life Of the
Preferred Stock.
The date for tine payments Of the
dividends to be the first day Of Janua-
ry and July of every year.
No mortgage can be placed upon the
property during the life Of the Prefer
red Stock.
The Preferred Stock shall be entitled
to be voted at all Meetings Of the Cor
poration and shall have all Of the priv
ileges Of the Common Stock, except as
herein provided.
8. Resolved, That the York Cotton
Mills is to have the option of retiring
the Preferred Stock on July 1st,
1915, by paying the holders In cash
at par, together with any unpaid divi-
dends.
Any Stock not so retired by July
lst, 1920, shall be converted into first
mortgage six per cent Gold Bonds
upon the Company's property until
paid.
4. Resolved, That the present
stockholders shall be entitled TO pur-
chase the Preferred Stock at par, and
that falling to do so on or before June
1st, 1910, the President Of this Com
pany is authorized to place all Of the
remaining stock on the market, and
to dispose of the same at not less
than par.
S. Resolved, That from the pro-
ceeds Of such sales Of stock the pres
ent outstanding Bonds shall be retir-
ed, and new machinery purchased.
6. Resolved, That the President
cause a notice of the Stockholders
Meeting and of it's purpose to be pub
lished once a week, for five weeks, In
The Yorkville Enquirer, beginning
not later than March 18th, 1910.
81 st
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-04-05

The Only Orisinal.-GeOrse Wash
ington was very small, very black and
very new to the life of the public
school which he had just entered. His
family had emigrated to the city from
some unknown wilderness, and the OF
ficers Of the school board had discov-
cred little George, and brought him into
line with the prospects Of the higher
education. 1t was his first day, and
the teacher was trying to make MIN at
home.
And so your name is George Wash
ington?" said the teacher.
"Yassum, Jorge Washin'ton."
And l suppose you try to be as like
him as little boy can, don't yOu?"
LAX who, MANI"
Like George Washington"
The youngster looked puzzled.
"Ah KANT help bein' lax Jorge Wash
in'ton," ne replied, stoutly, COS that's
who All am."-YOuth's Companion.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-04-05
TO THE MocKlNG BIRD

L lOu SlOllOuS ilioShSl VI SiiS "OiiN'
l hear
Thy many voices ringing through
the gloomS
OF these green solitudes; and all the
clear,
Bright joyance Of their song enthralls
the ear,
And floods the heart. over the
sphered tombs
OF vanished nations rolls thy music
tide;
No light from History's starlit page
illumeS
The memory of these nations; they
have died:
None care for them but thou; and
tnou maySt sing
Ger me, perhaps, as now thy clear
Over their bones by whom thou once
vast deified.
Glad scorner of all cities! Thou dost
leave
The worlds mad turmoil and in
cessant din,
Where none others honesty believe,
Where the old sigh, the young turn
gray and grieve,
Where misery gnaws the maiden's
heart within:
Thou fleest far into the dark green
woods,
Where, with thy flood of music,
thou canSt win
Their heart to harmony, and where
No discord on thy melodies. Oh,
where,
Among the sweet musicians of the
air,
Is one so dear as thou to these old
solitudes?
Ha! what a burst was that. The
Aeolian strain
Goes floating through the tangled
passages
OF the still woods, and now it comes
again,
multitudinous melody,-like rain
OF CLASSY music under echOing
Close by a ringing lake. 1t wraps the
soul
With a bright harmony of happi-
ness,
Even as a gem is wrapped when round
it roll
Thin waves of crimson flames; till
we become
With the excess of perfect pleasure.
dumb,
| Ana pant IKE Il SWllt runner tIlnS-
ing to the goal.
I cannot love the man who doth not
love,
As men love light, the song of hap
py birds:
For the first visions that my boy
heart wOve
To fill its sleep with, were that | did
rove
Through the fresh woods what time
the snowy herds
| OF morning clouds Shrunk from the
advancing sun
Into the depths Of Heavens blue
heart. as words
From the Poets lips float gently, one
by one.
And vanish in the human heart;
and then
revelled in such songs. and soy
rowed when,
With non-heat overweight. the
music-gush was done.
I would. sweet bird. that l might live
with thee,
Amid the eloquent grandeur of
these shades,
Alone with nature,-but it may not
be:
I have to struggle with the stormy
sea
OF human lie until existence fades
Into deaths darkness. Thou wilt sing
and soar
Through the thick woods and shad-
ow-checkered gladcS.
While pain and sorrow cast no dim
ness Ger
The brilliancc of thy heart; but !
must wear,
Az now. my garments of regret and
care
As penitentS of old their CALLING
sackClOth wore.
Yet why complain? What though
fond hopes deferred
Have Overshaduwed Lifc'S green
paths with gloom?
Contents soft music is not all un-
heard:
There is a voice swcet"r than thine.
sweet bird.
To welcome me within my hum
bic home:
There is an eye, with loves devotion
bright,
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-04-05

A Lingering Death.-An English SOL
der supposed to have been killed in
India was entered on the books of his
company:
Died on the oath of June" etc.
A few days afterward it turned out
that he was still alive, and the honest
sergeant made the following entry:
Died by mistake"
At length there came a letter from
the minister of war announcing the
death of the man at the hospital, when
the sergeant recorded the fact as fol-
lows:
Louisville Herald.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-04-05

J. A. Chambers, Gage Ave-, Union, s.
c., says: Il began to suffer from kid
ney trouble about five years ago. The
pain was mostly in my left kidney and
side and the kidney secretions were at
times too frequent in passage and
scanty. Upon hearing of DOans Kid
ney Pills. / procured a box and had
used them only few months before l
was free from my trouble. A few
months ago, I caught n severe cold
that settled in my kidneys and brought
on a return attack of the complaint.
again took Doan's Kidney Pills and
as before, they promptly relieved me-
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-04-05

Handicapped.-"Fain would l write
poem on the delights Of fishing"
sighed the poet, but woe is me! l
can't find word to rhyme with angle
worm
But why use that word at the end
of a line" queried the friend.
Because" hissed the poet between
his set teeth, IAN angleworm is always
at the end of line"
And for an hour the silence was SO
still that one could have heard Il pin
drop.-Chicago News.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-04-05

The darkness of existence 10 illume.
Then why complain? When Death
shall cast his blight
Over the spirit. my cold bones shall
rest
Beneath these trees; and from thy
swelling breast,
Over them pour thy song. like rich
flood of light.
Albert Pike.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-04-05

A Warning.-A deaf but pious Eng
lish lady, visiting a small country town
in Scotland, went to church armed with
an ear trumpet. The elders had never
seen one, and viewed it with suspicion
and uneasiness. After a short consul
tation one of them went up to the lady,
just before the opening Of the service,
and wagging his finger at her warn
ingly, whispered, "one toot and ye're
OOt."-Human Life.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-04-05
DANGER in DELAY
Kidney Diseases Are Too Dangerous
For YorkviIle People to Neglect.

The great danger of kidney troubles
is that they get firm hold before the
sufferer recognizes them. Health is
gradually undermined Backache,
headache. nervousness. lameness, sore
ness, lumbago, urinary troubles, drop
sy, diabetes and Bright's disease follow
in merciless succession. Don't neglect
your kidneys. Cure the kidneys with
the certain and safe remedy, DOan's
Kidney Pills, which has cured people
right here in this locality
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-04-05

With the Eye of Faith.-Doctor
Fourthly, don't you believe the time
is coming when the swords shall be
beaten into ploughsharcs ana the
spears into pruning hooks and men
shall learn war no more"
Indeed l do, Brother Millsap."
But when?"
About the time when that other
prophecy is fulflled-'and then shall
the end come .'"-Chica go Tribune.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-04-05
II an Equation Only Blew Up

professor of chemistry was once COM
miserating the professor of mathema
tics on the fewneSS of his students. and
the latter rescnting the implication
that popularity was Il proof Of good
teaching. replied: The trouble with
mathematics is that nothing ever hap
pens. If. when an equation is solved.
il would blow up or give off bad
odnr. would get as many students aS
Ou."-Independent.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-04-05

For sale by all dealers. Price 20
cents. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo
New York, sole agents for the United
States.
Remember the name-DOAN'S-an
take no other.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-04-05
Wanted
NOTICE
Of Stockholders Meeting of York Cot
ton Mills

VI StoCkHoIoeFS moctin9 OF rOTk SoS-
ton Mills.
A MEETING Of the stockholders of
"A the York Cotton Mills will be held
at the Company's Office, at Yorkville,
S. c., on WEDNESDAY, APRIL 20TH.
1910, at 3 o'clock p. m, for the pur-
pose Of considering and determining
the advisability Of amending the char
ter Of said Company, by increasing It's
Capital Stock from One Hundred and
Fifty Thousand Dollars to Three Hun
dred Thousand Dollars; and further to
determine what proportion Of said in
crease shall be issued In Preferred
Stock, and the conditions and prefer
ences OF the same, as shown by reso-
lutions hereto attached, adopted by the
Board of Directors on March 18th, 1910.
]. G. WARDLAW, President.
YOrkville, S. c., March 18th. 1910.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-04-05
IIMEI ]

RIGHT NoW-ToDAY-IS A GOOD
TIME TO BEGIN USING LIME
ABOUT YOUR PREMISES FOR
SANITARY PURPOSES.
Lime Is always cheaper than doc
tors bills, and for general sanitary
purposes there is nothing superior to
Good Lime, Plentfully Used.
Just remember, if you raise chickens,
that in a very short time now, the
weather will get warmer and chicken
Mites and Lice will appear. The way
to put stop to these pests-the best
way is a free use of Lime. Sprinkle
the floors OF the chicken house and
coops with lime; whitewash the roosts,
coops and walls with lime; make a box
feet square and fill 1t with lime and
road dust for a dust bath for chickens,
and the pests will bother your chick
ems but little.
j. j. KELLER Il co
3~ Be sure to see us for the Best
Lme-as the Best Lime is very neces-
sary. Phone your order for barrel
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-04-05
The French Method.

This is what might be called the
scientific third degree" which has
been reduced to its ultimate conclusion
in France There it is customary,
when enough clews nave been left to
give the police Il fairly accurate idea
of how murder was committed, to
reconstruct the crime" for the bene-
fit of an arrested person thought to
be the guilty one. He is taken to the
scene where police officials who have
actly reproduce the murder as they
conceive it was committed. All its
lurid details are portrayed. including
Il liberal shedding of fake blood, dy-
ing means, convulsive twitchings, death
rattle. horrible fear on tn" face of the
victim, followed by the furtive, haunted
escape of the perpetrator of the outrage.
1t requires far more of an iron will
than that possessed by the usual mur-
derer to keep his nerve while this is
going on, and NOR" than one has then
and there placed his neck under the
SuillOtine by offering to tell all if he
is only carried away from the sight
Confronting Il supposed murderer
with the body of the victim is one of
the oldest of third degree" methods,
but the original reason for this grue-
some meeting has been forgotten. Att
present it is arranged for the purpose
of working on the superstitious sensi-
bilitirs which are more or less inhrr-
rnt in all human beings. Originally
the suspect was given the narrowing
job of touching the body because Of a
widespread belief that if the murderer
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-04-05

e. Bigamy was formerly punished
i'm England by death.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-01-15
RESPONSIBILITY FOR
INCREASE IN PRICES
Prominent Merchant of Los Angeles
Blamcs Present Methods of Trusts.
JObbcrs and Retailers.

j. r. Newbcrg, n prominent retail
merchant and business man of Los An
Celcs addressed the retail merchants,
jobbers and manufacturers assembled
in the Jennings hall, Friday evening,
his subject being present high prices
and who or what are the causes. He
vigorously arraigned the present meth
DDS of the trusts, the Jobbers and the
retailers He said at least 40 per cent
of the consumers demand is embraced
in his purchases of four common neces-
stiles potatoes, coal oil, flour and
packing house products, all OF which
are practically under trust control He
places the responsibility for most OF
the increase In prices on the manufac-
turer. the retailers being guilty only
by submitting without protest to abb
normal advances In prices. He said
IL the jobters cannot be prevented
from mixing with the retail
business. then a buyers exchange
should be formed. as has been success
fully done In San Francisco and Phila-
delphia, and thus exclude the jobbers
entirely. He said the Pacific coast man
ufacturers have q fixed price plan, MAX
ing a definite price at which all goods
shall be sold, and he says Ii works out
WELL Among the other speakers were
Jerry H9ncock, who spoke of the evils
of the present credit system. ]. S. Car
Ver. president of the Utah State Retail
Merchants association, made a few re-
marks, thanking the speaker for his eX-
cellent address.