davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
lii the Tolls Of the Law
By DONALD ALLEN
Copyright. 1910; by Associated Literary Press.)

as he helped to extricate the cause of
the smash-up and deposit her In his
cutter, where she INDUCED In a few
Mysteries to prove that she still lived.
1t was old Adam who did most of the
talking, and he didn't talk in a whis-
per. He talked to the seven winds Of
earth, and he tried to gesticulate with
his injured arm as he Grated:
Nov by jimmy cracky. but some
body shall pay for this!" he piped.
who's this gal? I'll bet a cent she's
been riding down my hill. II she has.
then it's trespass and lawsuit! Then
she banged into my boss! That's
another lawsuit. Then she's banged
into me! That's third. Then the
pung has been smashed, and the law
has got to assess the damages. Then
I've got to have pay for being skeered
half to death. All them lawsuits, and
then this young Teller is to be settled
with. Young woman, wouldn't want
to be in your shoes!"
Miss Hyde began to cry. 1t was the
first time in her life she had been
threatened with ten or fifteen lawsuits.
Her father was prosperous merchant
in the city, but so many verdicts must
drive him into bankruptcy. The young
man called old Adam for his threats
and said he would see him later about
damages.
Miss Bessie was driven up the hill
and turned over to the care of her
aunt. She was still nervous, but she
could see that bruise, and she insisted
that it be attended to at once. 1t was
attended to. The young man intro
duced himself as Mr.. Howard Kyle.
and it was a long hour before he con.
tinued his drive. OF course he returned
next day. That was only good form.
He was visiting a brother only two
miles away and 1t was no great trouble
to come over.
ter. Miss Bessie's wrist was also still
there, and also much better. What she
was worrying about was those law
suits. Would the damage altogether
amount to hundred thousand dollars?
Would she have to go out as a servant
girl for the rest of her life to help
make up the sum? Mr.. Kyle had been
very kind, but did that mean he would
not seek to collect damages? It was
only after the adventure had been
talked over at length that she heaved
a sigh of relief He informed her that
he had settled all damages with old
Adam for ready cash. The sigh of re.
lief still fingered In the air when a
horrible thought came to the sigher
and she cried out:
But I've got to pay you, and maybe
papa hasn't money enough! Please
tell me how much 1t is, and will
write him at once"
But he didn't tell her-not then. He
waited a whole year. and then. one
evening as they were sitting together.
he suddenly said:
Il paid old Adam five dollars to set
tie damages. It's been a year now.
and I want a settlement with YOU"
She reached out her hand, and he
took it and seemed to think he had
got the best of the bargain.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
A Pirate Queen.

Among party Of "a Anamite pirates
and malefactors just brought to Mar.
settles was one of the wives of the
pirate De Than, who has given the
French so much trouble in 1ndo- China
CODA, a. the woman pirate is called
exercised a dominating influence oven
the pirate kinH and his followers, .
power she even preserved throughout
the voyage, which the prisoners made
in specially constructed iron cage
built amidships. The other prisoners
lon receiving their rations Immediately
handed them to Co-Ba for distribution
and she laid down iron regulations fol
the prisoners l!fe on board. Her WORT
was always scrupulously respected
When the prisoners landed it was
CODA who maruhed proudly at their
head, taking not the slightest notice
Of the crowds Who watched the de
barkation of the prisoners on their
way to the Isle de Re, in the Bay Of
Biscay.-London Daily Mail.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
Thrills Of Life.

Life has few moments of SURPRISING
thrill and wonder. Yet there are
some; and the loveliest thing about it
all is this, that wealth cannot buy
them, nor genius create them, nor
rank command them. The impartial
ness of God is beautiful. A few of the
superfluities do seem to be little un-
evenly distributed-butt the great, holy
Injuries of life are as freely vouch-
safed the peasant as the king. The
glory and the beauty of life itself; the
shelter of mothers arms, and the
deeper shelter Of her heart; the first
dismantling kiss Of love: the earliest
glimpse of your hrst-born's face
these are for the plowman as we'll as
for the poet or the prince Robert p.
Knowles.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
The Foxy landlady.


II think I'll change nv boarding
house, grumbled the comedian
boarder.
Il am surprised" said the sweet
singer. why, thought you told me
your landlady was right up to date?"
Eyes, too much so. Since she has
been reading the Fletcher theory she
advises all her boarders to chew each
mouthful 80 times. She knows they'll
soon get tired and won't eat as much.''
HIN! She's rather shrewd."
Eyes, and that's not all. She read
that sour milk prolongs life and now
she has started the sour-milk fad be-
cause sour milk costs only four cents
q quart
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
you NEVER GAN TELL

Oh, the primmest little maid,
Just the most precise Of misses:
Never thought Of love, she said,
Took no sort Of stock In kisses.
Quite immune to Cupid's darts,
Laughed at hosts Of suitors sighine.
When they told Of aching hearts
All such symptoms still decrying.
But all this was long ago
Well. should say, twas last summer:
You read the account, know,
In the papers-'twas q hummer.
How she managed to elope
With a curly headed actor.
In this stunt of hers, hope,
Common sense was not a factor.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19

1t was late winter when Miss Bes-
sic Hyde arrived at her aunt's country
house for two weeks stay, but there
was still plenty of snow on the ground.
Even before unpacking her trunk and
hanging up her dresses the girl was
out romping around. Not that snow
was a novelty to a girl from town.
Even at that moment there were piles
Of it in front of her fathers house,
waiting to be removed. and growing
blacker every moment.
But this snow was different. 1t was
white snow. It wasn't mixed with
SCOT, cinders, old shoes, tomato cans
and beef bones. It was as clean as
the spread on a spare bed. It was
good enough to eat. She threw snow
balls at the dignifed old family dog
and gave him bad opinion of her
city manners. also Of her skill as q
thrower.
On the second day Of her stay Miss
Bessie observed something. 1t was
something that the man of all-work
around the house had never observed
yet. although he had been there five
years. To the north of the house was
hill that was evidently on some one
eise's land, as there was a dividing
fence. BY taking down a panel of the
fence a girl on a sled could start at
the top of the hill, come whizzing
down over Aunt Hetty's lawn, and
then pass through an open gate and
strike the highway. The road had a
gradual descent for a quarter of a
mile. That was a slide down hill
worth talking about. II only there
was a sled Of some sort about
There was. It was a handsled used
by the all-work man for various jobs.
He was not about, and Miss Bessie
took possession. Aunt Hetty wasn't
looking, and panel of the fence was
removed almost as neatly as farmers
hired man could have done it. Then
the sled was dragged to the top of the
hill, and all was ready for the gee
Whiz.
Had the girl swung her hat and ut:
tered few preliminary war whoops
before starting, and thus brought Aunt
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
TOO MANY IN PROFESSION
Absurd, However, to Reduce the Mum.
Der Of Students, Says Amer
can Medicine.

1.-THE overcrowding Of the medical
profession comes up for discussion
every little while, and always will
come up, for it is the normal condi-
ton in all callings," says American
Medicine. Economists have repeat
eddy shown that industries owe their
existence to large unemployed class
from whom labor can be obtained at a
moments notice. In the parable, the
master said: Why stand We here. all
the day idle?'
There are always more workmen
than the work requires. and the cry
of overcrowding is as old as man and
is now heard every year in trade. In
every civilized land we find some doc.
tors In poverty, some lawyers, and
some clergymen. It is condition
which cannot be remedied and the
proposition to reduce the number Of
medical students is palpably absurd
almost amounts to the suggestion that
the sick be compelled to submit to
the ministrations of the least efficient.
"The number of students is being
reduced in England on account Of the
increasing cost and labor of obtaining
a license, but it will not guarantee all
the graduates success. Indeed over
crowding is socially desirable. as 1t
increases the struggle for efficiency.
In the struggle for existence, success
goes to the efficient, not necessarily
to those we consider the best.
THE diminishing incomes of physi.
clans have already been mentioned in
these columns, and the causes deter.
mined, but that has nothing to do With
the utter failure of some-a matter
due solely to the inevitable overcrowd.
Ing"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
The Sled Came Down Like a Bullet.

The Sled Came Down Like a Bullet.
Hetty to the door, things would have
been altogether different. She would
have been told that that hill belonged
to old Adam Flint, who was both mean
and miserly. His hill stood there ready
to do business, but he was so afraid
that somebody would elope with it
that he had posted signs everywhere.
mo trespassing under penalty of
the law!" read the signs.
The girl could have seen no less
than three such signs had she looked
around her. She wasn't looking for
signs, however. Also, had she looked
about she would have been warned
that a girl gee-whizzing on sled into
the highway and down another hill;
might possibly meet a vehicle of some
sort coming up.
II she had been told these things thu
ride would have been postponed and
Miss Bessie Hyde might have lived on
to be an old maid. Fortunately she
was not interfered with. The first
anyone knew of the adventure was
when a shout came from the top Of
the hill. The sled came down like a
bullet. The all-work man ran to stop
it, but fell down and rolled over. Aunt
Hetty ran to stop it, but she slipped
on the veranda and sat down hard.
Away went the sled with a fright.
ened girl hanging on for dear life and
one foot trailing behind as a rudder.
1t was going like hundred rabbits
when it made the turn into the high
way, and then there was a sigh of re-
lief. But the respite was short. Com
ing up the long hill was old Adam
Flint in his "pung," which is a home
made sleigh. Close behind him fol.
lowed man driving a horse and cut
ter The road was narrow. the banks
steep.
Miss Bessie shut her eyes and
screamed. Old Adam Flint called
"Whoa!" to his horse and decided that
his last hour had come.
The man in the cutter grinned and
got ready to enjoy a good thing.
The sled struck old Adams knock
kneed horse. 1t just had to strike
somebody or something. The knees of
the horse were bent as he strained at
the sled. He fell in heap and didn't
try to get up. That was a wise move
on his part, for the sled and the girl
climbed over his back. knocked old
Adam out of his sleigh and struck the
other horse before coming to a stop.
The man In the cutter was smiling
when a splinter from the ''pung" hit
him in the forehead and left q great
bruise. There was a bad mix-up for
five minutes.
It's wonderful how a girl can gee
whiz down hill and knock men and
horses into the middle of next week
and yet do very little damage. When
things were Strengthened out, it was
found that the girl had q cut ON the
wrist and twisted ankle; old Adams
knock-kneed steed had his knees
barked; old Adam himself had shout
der wrenched;. the old "pung' could
be patched up. As for the young man.
he had bruise. but he was smiling
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
A They DO at Dinner Tim

AZ They Do at Dinner Time.
Il want this floor repaired from the
parlor to the dining-room," said the
housewife to the tramp carpenter.
"Yes'm, but when do l get some
thing to eat?"
when you repair to the dining
ROOM
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
A Born Diplomat.

His Wife-John, yesterday was my
birthday and you never even thought
to bring me box of candy.
Her Husband-Im sorry. my dear,
but there isn't a thing about your ap-
pearance to remind me that you are
day older than you were a year ago.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
Inuenuitv.

Rays-How does Splitter expect to
get his divorce?
Hays-By proving the illegality of
his marriage.
Rays-How will he prove that?
Hays-First, by showing all mar.
riages are lotteries, and then calling
attention to the fact that the Su.
preme court has ruled that all lot.
teries are illegal.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
Nothing Conclusive.

1da-Do you suppose that Mr..
Worther really has serious intentions
regarding Doty?
Clara-He must have; he's praising
her all the time-says she's worth her
weight In gold.
Ida-Oh, there's nothing conclusive
about that; Doty could be weighed on
a pair Of postal scales.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
GOOD Jokes
TOUGH JOB.

The old major had been on an ex-
tended trip up noff." Now he was
back in th general store Of the VII
lage telling of his travels
And Niagara Falls, subj" he began
wildly. What could be a grander
sight? To think of the vast, ineon-
ceivable power in those millions of
tons Of water that dash over the
rocks! And then to think that those
TAILS are harnessed by mere mani"
The major paused for breath and
the old colored man, who had just
come in with a pail of eggs, looked
interested
"Majah!"
Yeas. SAM"
Who was de gen'man det har-
messed dem deb falls?"
"Why-er-Sam, can't just remem.
Der his name. But why are you SO
anxious to know
"Ah was just thinkin' majah.''
thinking of what, old man."
Thinkin' what Aid give to see Diet
gen'man try en- harness dat OIL, Of
mule All bought rum de bankrupt cir
Gus last spring. Tee-hee!"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
Aazlna Him.

Aazlno Him.
mr. Chairman" said the new mem.
Der of the Literary club. II move you,
sir"
Il rise to a point or order, Mr..
Chairman" interrupted one OF the
other members.
Estate your point of order"
"The gentleman says. I move you
It is not only out of order. but ut
terly absurd for q man of ia pounds
to talk of moving a chairman who
weighs 300."
"The point is we'll taken!" roared
the presiding omcer, bringing his
gavel down with a resounding thud:
the gentleman will merely move or
take his seat!"-Chicago Tribune.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
The Busy Wolf.

It was a very strange animal which
was beheld on looking out.
"You are not the wolf?" we at once
protested, seeming some irregularity.
moi" replied the creature, frankly
casting of it's disguise. I'm sheep,
to tell you the truth. This is our great
opportunity. We're all turning in to
help the wolf while the high cost Of
living continues. I'm taking care Of
few Of the easiest doors, you know"
Puck s ..5z
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
The Retort Courteous.

A young woman had fallen upon the
fce-covered pavement and man
stepped forward to offer his services.
ALLOW me" he began, but his feet
slipped and he fell fat upon his back.
Certainly" responded the young
woman. gravely.-Lippincott
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
0tSpoSIno Of Hash.

Yeast-1 see that all the food served
to guest at Japanese dinner and
not consumed by him at the time Is
taken to his home by the servants Of
his host.
Crimsonbeak-The hosts over there
are certainly persistent. They seem
to get rid of their hash in some
Way!-Yonkers Statesman.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
Rivalry.

Squire Durnit-I notice they's lota
more funerals in your town than We
are having in Lone1yville.
Uncle Welby Gosh (of Drearyhurst)
Yes; people seem to kind O. hate
the idee of bein,, found dead in your
village
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
Summer,
Ashes to ashes,
Dust to dust,
Well now dig up
For the ice trust.
Not Her Way,

Elderly Relative-Lucy, you surely
don't think of marrying Geoffrey to re-
form him!
Miss Lucy-Gracious, no. auntie!
I'm trying to reform Godfrey in order
to marry him, and I'll either succeed
in doing It or I'll break his neck!
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
Three Balls,

Stubb-The best umbrellas to put
up quickly are those with the patent
steel spring.
Penn-H'm! have found those with
a gold handle the most convenient to
put up"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
No Kick There.

The new arrival had just written
his name and address in the hotel
register.
From Ypsilanti, eh?" said the
clerk: that's the town. isn't it, where
mo. SIR" interrupted the other.
with frown: we're perfectly salts
fled with the name of our city. You're
thinking of Oshkosh"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
Now They're Fussv.

"A st. Louis girl wore men,
slothing In order to escape suitors.
would never do that"
You would never need to. DEAR"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
In the Public Ev

Here Is brochure entitled What
St. Louis Is Doing"
''Pittsburg doesn't need any adver-
Using like that"
NO"
Everybody knows what Pittsburg
is doing"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
A 4Iunder,

"A Detroit minister says that hell Is
full of peek-a-boo waists"
"A queer statement for q minister
to make when he is trying to get men
&c 20 to heaven"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
The Fearless One.

with all your wealth are you not
afraid Of the proletariat?" asked the
deliver In sociological problems.
mo. amt" snapped Mrs. New.
rich. I'VE boil all our drinkin' water"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
The Eternal Feminine.

She-Here Is story about a Ger
man scientist who says a woman can
live to be 100000 years old.
He-Good gracious! Imagine wom-
an 100000 years old who wouldn't ad-
NIT she was more than 230,OO0!"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
His Views on Suffrage.

His Views on Suffrage.
When the female canvasser asked
the old farmer to sign a petition in
favor Of woman's movement he eyed
the document for a while with suspi-
cion. mo, I'm again it," was re-
ply, with the emphasis OF man who
had had some domestic infelicity. "A
woman who's allus a-movin' is allus
a-gettin' In trouble. If you've got any
thing to keep her quiet I'll sign It,"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19

Passenger say, captain, what
would happen If the ship should hit
coral reef?
Captain-1t would most likely SILVER
its timbers.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
A loftier Idea,

A loftier Idea.
Friend-So your latest novel II real
romantic, Ell? 1 suppose tho heroine
runs away with her fathers coach
man?
Authorize. that's q chestnut. This
heroine flies away with her fathers
aviator.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
Golne Il Blind.

Boarder-Do you believe danger
turks behind the kiss?
Rural Maid-I never see what's he
hind it, for I always shut my eyes.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
Precocious.

Have you ever heard person
curse the day he was born?"
Yes; that is very common"
HE must have had the gift of
speech early."-The Collegian-
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19

TIM see dat Joe Simpsons COILS
gone back on him.
Tom-Huh! OATS easy. Der Teller
she's goin' wild now. his mudder keeps
er candy store,
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
Back to the Soil.

Have you Joined the back-to.the-
soil movement"
You bet; I'm tired of artificial lies
and wooden minnows, and I'm goino
to dig some good old worms for bait"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
Hard to Touch.

This Is paradoxical."
What is?"
why, the closer a man is the hard.
er It is to touch him."
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19
Appropriate Fastoninas.

How will keep my new. chantecler
hat on my head! she asked, per
picked. 800
With hat pinfeatheTs, my dear
said the milliner.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19

Henderson-Does your wife ever
call you up at your Office?
Henpeck-No; she waits until yet
home and then she calls me down.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-08-19

your customers pure, sweet, fresh
butter and your reputation as a good
butter maker will soon be established.
When your butter is held until it is
old and stale it il not wanted and
your reputation suffers as well as
your pocket.
A foal may be raised on cows milk
If the latter is sweetened with sugar
or molasses at the rate of two tea
spoonfuls per pint and three table
spoonfuls Of lime water are added at
first. Give a cupful every hour at
first and gradually increase amount
and decrease meals to six and then to
four feeds a day.
At the present time open-front
poultry houses are very popular and
are giving very satisfactory results.
Such buildings have part or the whole
OF the south front covered only BY
fne mesh wire netting and open a& al
times to the weather. Fowls housed
In these open-front buildings are very
rarely subject to disease and provo
remarkably productive. They are
much less affected by weather
changes than birds confined In the old
tightly-closed buildings.
Some persons advocate cutting the
young potted plants loose from tho
mother plant as soon 40 they take
root, while others allow them to re-
main attached until cold weather, Let
them remain attached q month, when
they are cut loose and become indie
pendent plants. The young plants
must be kept we'll watered during the
hot dry season of midsummer, as one
drying out Of the tender rootlets II
fatal. After they are established in
the pots they can be mulchcd With
straw or meadow hay.