davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wallowa County chieftain. [volume] (Enterprise, Or.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-10
mixed.

A sergeant was once drilling q squad
OF recruits. They were incredibly ig-
norant. One OF them could not tell his
right hand from his left. The se--
geant proceeded to teach them and at
last attained some degree of success.
Sergeant-Now, yer blessed. idiot,
hold yer hands in front of yer and
twist item round one over the other.
Stop! Now, which is your left hand
and which is your right?
Recruit Cooking at his hands for a
momentum blowed IL l know. I've
gone and mixed 'em!-London An.
swers.
Wallowa County chieftain. [volume] (Enterprise, Or.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-10
Nothing.

What was your husband saying te
you last night?"
Nothing"
why, was sure heard him talk
ing to you for over an hour"
You did."-Houston Post.
Wallowa County chieftain. [volume] (Enterprise, Or.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-10
Distenper

In all Its forms, among all ages of borses
and dogs, cured and others in the same sta
BILE prevented from having the disease with
Spohn's Distemper Cure. Every bottle
guaranteed. Over 5o0,0 900 bottles sold last
year. $50 and $l.00. Good druggists, or
send to manufacturers. Agents wanted.
Write for free book. Spohn Med. Co., Spec.
Contagious Diseases, Goshen, Ind.
Wallowa County chieftain. [volume] (Enterprise, Or.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-10
No CompuIsiou,

why do have to pay such enor-
nous prices for round steakr' grum-
bled the customer.
"You don't" said the butcher. Here's
n perfectly good shank you can buy for
good deal less money."-ChicaEo
Tribune.
Wallowa County chieftain. [volume] (Enterprise, Or.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-10
Exception.

Teacher-As have been telling you.
there are two general classes OF work.
ers. Tommy, does your father make
his living by using his brains or By
using his muscles? Tommy-Neither
one, ma'am. He's a policeman.-Chi.
Cago Tribune.
Wallowa County chieftain. [volume] (Enterprise, Or.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-10
Al the Artists Reception.

''Mr. D'Awter. what are you going to
paint on this coal black canvas?"
Madam. that is a completed paint
ing. 1t is listed in the catalogue as
Early Morning In Chicago Chicago
Tribune
Wallowa County chieftain. [volume] (Enterprise, Or.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-10
Girl Parades Long as Boy

Moorhead, KY, Feb. 24.-Miss Colds
lie Cantrill, II years old, today war
sent home by the school trustees afte-
they learned that she had been attend
ing school as Sam Murray, dressed in
boys clothing. She stood second In
her class. Several months ago she
erned her living for several weeks as
a "newsboy" on trains.
Wallowa County chieftain. [volume] (Enterprise, Or.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-10
At the Riding school.

mount your horse on the left side"
"Why? What difference can that
maker"
"It's the rule"
"But why should 1t be the ruler"
Because in the past horsemen wore
swords. They wore them on the left
hip; hence had they mounted on the
right side the sword would have got in
the way. So they mounted on the
left, and we still mount on the left
Horses are accustomed to It. and II
you try to get up from the right you
are liable to be kicked. d."-Philadelphia
Bulletin
Wallowa County chieftain. [volume] (Enterprise, Or.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-10
Irony.

You're as hard as nails" said his
trainer.
WELL" irritably answered the actor
pugilist. wouldn't you naturally ex-
pect me to be? l wear my clawham-
mer coat two or three hours every
night"
Wallowa County chieftain. [volume] (Enterprise, Or.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-10
Hoods
rsapariIIa

Cures all blood humors, all
eruptions, clears the complex
ion, creates an appetite, aids
digestion, relieves that tired
feeling, gives vigor and vim.
Get it today in usual liquid form or chocolate
tablets known as Sarsatabs. 100 Doses 81.
Wallowa County chieftain. [volume] (Enterprise, Or.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-10
Chronic.

Mrs. Hewligus-Ab bsalom, we are out
OF coal. Is your credit at the dealers
bad again?
Mr.. Hewllgus-Not again." Amanda.
Still!-Chicago Tribune.
Wallowa County chieftain. [volume] (Enterprise, Or.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-10
Radical.

Talk about reformin' foot ball!"
said Uncle Jerry PEBBLES THE only
way you kin reform it is to take an ak
to itl"-Chicago Tribune.
Wallowa County chieftain. [volume] (Enterprise, Or.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-10
Uncle Allen.

you may not be as good as David
or as wise as Solomon" said Uncle AL
len Sparks, but If you know how to
train children you've got the bulge on
both OF 'em. Each of the two had Q
boy that went wrong"
Wallowa County chieftain. [volume] (Enterprise, Or.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-10
DOIly's RetOrt.

II won't wash my face!" said Dolly
defiantly.
Naughty, naughty" reproved
grandmother. when / was a little
girl always washed my face"
''Yes, and now look at iti"-Eyery.
body's.
Wallowa County chieftain. [volume] (Enterprise, Or.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-10

Mothers win find Mrs. winslow's Soothing
Syrup the best remedy to use for their children
during the teetning period.
Wallowa County chieftain. [volume] (Enterprise, Or.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-10
Only One ..BRoMo ouININt.

That is LAXATIVE BRoMo QUININE. Look
for the signature OF f. W. Grove. Used the
World over TO Cure Cold in One Day 2bc
Wallowa County chieftain. [volume] (Enterprise, Or.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-10
Grand Head Of Tibetan Monks
fIees to India.
SACRED CITY OF LHASSA TAKEN
Trouble Has Long Been Expected
Chinese Government Determ-
ined to Disperse Monks.

Calcutta, British India, Feb. a.
Chinese troops today entered Lhassa,
the capital of Tibet, and the residence
of the Dalai Lama, the supreme head
of the Lamaist hierarchy, who, upon
the approach of the soldiers, fed with
several of his ministers into India.
Serious trouble has been expected,
owing to the action of the small Chi
nese army, which, marching from Sze-
Chuen, China, subdued Eastern Tibet,
levying contributions on the Lama 6
home and showing no respect for the
monasteries.
The Tibetsns, resenting the desc
Grafton of their holy places, petitioned
the Chinese foreign board, praying
that the emperor Of China interfere in
the interest Of the Buddhists. The pc
tition was disregarded, the Chinese
propose to make the administration of
the country purely Chinese.
The Dalai Lama appealed to Lord
Mimic, the viceroy of India, but he re-
fused to interfere.
Wallowa County chieftain. [volume] (Enterprise, Or.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-10
Pettit's Eye ssIve for Over 100 Year

has been used for congested and in
famed eyes, removes film or scum
over the eyes. All druggists or How
ard Bros, Buffalo, N. Y.
Wallowa County chieftain. [volume] (Enterprise, Or.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-10
Disastrous.

Doctor-Have you been taking an oc-
casional cold plunge. as l advised?
Dyspeptic Capitalist-Yes, I've been
investing heavily in ice stocks-and ]
got nipped.-Chicago Tribune.
Wallowa County chieftain. [volume] (Enterprise, Or.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-10

London, Feb. 24.-The fight from
Lhassa of the Dalai Lama will cause
no surprise to close observers of the
Chinese attitude toward the Tibetan
people when he was in Pekin.
1t became evident then that the
Chinese government had no intention
of permitting him to reume his sway
at Lhassa. 80 far as civil power was
concerned, and attempts were even
made to bar his passage on his return
home.
Following its policy of "China for
the Chinese" the government determ-
ined to make more effective its control
over the land of the Lamas. A cam
paign to this end has been pushed in
the border provinces for the last two
years, and now China has sent an army
Of 25, 900 anti-Buddhist troops into the
capital of Tibet.
This army, which was dispatched
from e-Chuen, has been drilled by
Japanese officers and is completely
equipped with mountain and machine
guns of German and Japanese patterns
and with wireless apparatus.
Wallowa County chieftain. [volume] (Enterprise, Or.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-10

Any good doctor will tell you that medi-
cine like Ayers Cherry Pectoral cannot
stpated. Ask your doctor 10 he knows
anything better than Ayers Pills for cor.
recting this sluggishness OF the liver.
-Nsds BY thsJ o. Aver Co.. Lowell. Msss-
Wallowa County chieftain. [volume] (Enterprise, Or.) 1909-1911, 1910-03-10
PLANT SIBSON'S ROSES
The Sibson Rose Nurseries
N AHron ~ Rn-naI

Two-year-oldb bushes
Crown in the open field
Now is a good time to plant
Catalogue Free
11so Milwaukee Road, Portland, Or
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25

The FIRST look through great telc.
scope is disappointing. but the novice
soons sees that the aat appearance
which the heavens present 20 tho
naked eye In replaced by curious con-
cavity: the moon and stars seem 10 be
hung In space rather than spread out
on n Nat surface. For moment ono
feels nt the telescope like a child
watching the swift moving balls kept
In the air by Juggler aud expecting
60 SEQ one OF those great. bright bodies
fall. Then comes the thought, What
keeps them there. apparently suspend.
ed IN space with absolutely nothing 10
hold them nrmf The explanation OF
tho learned astronomer causes tho
brain Of the lnymnn 10 whlrl, and no
sces himself. perhaps for tho nrst
time. as a child gathering pebbles ON
the grcat shores of the sea OF knowl.
edge or M "nn infant In the night. an
infant crying for the light. and with no
language but National Maya
zine.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25
Won by His Wit.

A story Is told of an English clergy.
man who owed his appointment TO a
rich living TO n lucky pun. He was
tutor to the son of a nobeman and
had not long taken orders when he
attended the funeral Of the rector OF
the parish IN which the nobleman's
seat was situated. The father Of his
pupil was patron of the living and
was also present mt the funeral OF
the deceased rector There was n
young clergyman present also whose
grief was 40 demonstrative that the
noble patron was much affected by the
sight and asked II the young man was
a son Of the deceased gentleman.
"Oh. dear. no. my lord-no relation
mt all." said the tutor.
mo rclationr exclaimed the noble
man In n surprised tone.
"NoDc. my lord. lie Is the curate.
and think he IL not weeping for the
dend, but for the living"
Ills lordship. who was something OF
q wit and cynic himself. was 40 dc.
lighted with the bonnet that he con.
ferrcd the living upon the ready pun
ater
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25
Absentminded Dyer.

Charles Lamb had a friend named
George Dyer who was perhaps the
most absentminded man on record.
II was Dyer who, leaving Lambs Is
lIngton home at broad MONDAY,
walked straight into the New river.
lie was known to take up coal scut.
tic instead of his hat, TO walk home
with footmnn's cockaded hat on and
even to leave one Of his shoes under
the table and get well on his home.
ward way before discovering his loss.
lie called at a friends one morning.
heard that the family was away In
the country. left his name In the
visitors book, and few hours lntcr
called again, asked for the book again
and was astonlshed to see his own
freshly written name. Once. when
Proctor brcakfastcd with him. Dyer
forgot the tea. The omission being
noted. he filed the teapot with ginger
Proctor left NJ soon as he could to get
n better breakfast at a coffee tavern,
and there Dyer strolicd IN and asked
him how he did. quite unconscious OF
having seen him earlier.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25

Drops OF rain vary In their size per.
haps from n twenty.ifth 10 a quarter
OF nn inch In diameter In parting
from the clouds they precipitnte their
descent TN the increasing resistance
opposed by the air becomes equal 10
their weight. when they continue 10
fall with uniform velocity. This We
locity Is therefore In certain ratio
10 the diameter of the drops: hence
thunder aud other showers In which
the drops are large pour down faster
thnn n drizzling rain. A drop OF the
twcnty-ffth part OF nm inch Ia falling
through the mir would. when II had
arrived NJ It's uniform velocity, ne
quire celebrity of only eleven aud a
half feet per second. while one Of n
quarter of an Inch would have a ve-
locity OF thlrty.three aud half feet.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25
A Common Cold.

We claim that II catching cold
could be avoided some Of the most
dangerous and fatal diseases would
never be heard Of. A cold Often
forms culture bed for germs Of in
fectious diseases. Consumption.
pneumonia. diphtheria and scarlet
fever. four Of the most dangerous
aud fatal diseases. ere Of this class.
The culture bed foru,ed by the cold
favors the development Of the germs
Of these diseases. that would not
otherwise find lodgment. There Is
little danger, however, o( any Of
these diseases being contracted
when good expectorant cough
medicine like Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy is used. II cleans out these
culture beds that favor the develop
ment of the germs Of these diseases.
That is why this remedy has
proved so universally successful in
preventing pneumonia. II not only
cures your cold quickly. but mini
mizes the risk OF contracting theee
dangerous diseases. For sale by all
good druggists.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25

Once year all the Buddhist temples
IN Slam are visited by the king or his
deputies, bearing the phra kathin yel.
low robes). In conformity with an an.
cient custom by which the priests were
made to seek their apparel for the en-
suing year. During the lifetime OF
Buddha monks and priests were sent
out to beg for old CASTOR garments,
which we're afterward dyed yellow and
patched together TO form the required
robes. This ancient mendicant Gus
tom gradually gave place TO the pres
ent one of making the garments from
a new cloth of bright canary yellow.
provided by joint contributions OF
king, princes, mobiles and commoners.
When the king goes In the royal throne
barge to present the robes IN person
he does so with great pomp and cere-
mony. The priestly garments. folded
In bundles, are carried to the door OF
the temple TO await the appearance Of
his majesty and his suit The king
on arriving takes a prlestly robe and
places Il ON a decorated altar. The
chief priest then lays his hands on the
garment and chants an acknowledg-
ment.--wide World Magazine.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25

Perhaps the final test OF anybody's
love OF dogs Is willingness to permit
them to make camping ground OF the
bed. There is no other place In the
world that suits the dog quite so well.
On the bed he Is safe from being step.
ped upon, he is Out of the way OF
drafts, he has a commanding position
from which to survey what goes on iu
the world, and, above all. the surface
is soft and yielding to his outstretched
limbs. No mere man can ever be so
comfortable as dog looks. Some per-
sons object to having a dog on the
bed at night, and II must be admitted
that he lies little heavily upon ones
limbs, but why be so base as to prefer
comfort to companlonshipf To wake
up IN the dark night and put your hand
ON that warm, soft body, to feel the
beating OF that faithful heart--Is not
this better than undisturbed slothp The
best nights rest ever had was once
when a cocker spaniel puppy. who had
just recovered from stomach ache dose
one to two soda mlnts) and was little
frightened by the strange experience,
curlcd up on my shoulder like fur
tippet, gently pushed his cold, soft nose
into my neck and there slept sweetly
and soundly until mornlng.-H. @. Mer-
win In Atlantic.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25

A remarkable specimen Of lawyers
invalid will was that OF Sir Joseph
Jeckyll. master OF the rolls. who died
Ia 1898 and bcqucathcd his fortune
after his wife's death TO pay or the
national debt. "sIr Joseph was a good
man and n good lawyer" was Lord
Mansfield's comment, "but his bequest
was n very foolish one. lie might as
well have attempted 10 stop the middle
arch of London bridge with his full
bottomcd wig" The tcstator's patriotic
Intentions were therefore treated as
proof Of mental weakness. aud his will
was promptly set aside. Among the
many laundering Wills that lawyers
have made for their clients, II not for
themselves. the strangcst ON record
was that OF Dublin gentleman who
left nll his money 10 tho elder son OF
his brother aud. II he had no elder
son. 10 the second.-LondonC Chronicle.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25

Remember, when you want
GOOD meat that Bitgood & Coles S
it the place to get 1t. An ever in
creasing trade Is sufficient testimony
of the fact that they are giving per-
feet satisfaction. Nowhere else in
St. Johns or Portland, for that
matter, is better meat sold. The
prices are always just right and the
meat is ever fresh, pure and whole
some. If you are not a patron of
their market as yet, II will be to
your advantage to give them call.
A full and complete line of all meats
usually kept in first class market
is always found at this market.
Courtesy, fair dealing and honest
weight in connection with the very
best meat the market affords Is
what is increasing their trade in
such grati6mg manner. Call and
place a trial order. Bitgood &
Cole the place.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25
Chamberlain's Cough Remedy the
Most Popular Because Il
Is the Best.

II have sold Chamberlain 1
Cough Repedy for the past eigh,
years and hnd It to be one OF the
best selling medicines on the mar
ket. For babies aud young children
there is nothing better in the line OF
cough syrups," says Paul Alien.
Plain Dealing, La. This remedy
not only cures the coughs, colds
aud Group SO common among young
children. but is pleasant and safe
for, them to take. For sale by all
good druggists.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25
Court Dress Of laurss,s.

Tennyson's court dress when he re-
ceived the laurealeshlp did not cost
him much. for II was the same court
dress worn 10y Wordsworth. who IN
turn Ind u from the old poet Rogers.
and II Is still In the Wordsworth fam.
lily. IL Is wonder how Tennyson aud
Wordsworth got Into II. for Rogers was
a little fellow. Tennyson had no pas.
sion for courts. aud 40 he went In Sec
ond hand TO save cost. - New York
Press
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25

II Is a commonly accepted belief that
nothing short OF being pried loose win
induce a bulldog 10 give up his grip
on another dog or on an Intruder, but
this Ia a nlstake. A little household
ammonia poured ON him Ms near his
nose as circumstances will allow will
make him let 40 immediately. The
fumes OF ammonia are 80 overpowcr-
Ing that a dog cannot possibly main.
tain his grip ana his breath at tho
same time.-country Life In America,
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25
A Simple Trick.

It's an easy matter to keep your
joints aud muscles supple--no mat
ter what your age may be or how
you have suffered with rheumatism.
Rub yourself night and morning
with Ballard's Snow Linimeut.
Cures rheumatism. stiffness, cramps.
crick in the back. side, neck or
limbs. and relieves all aches aud
pains. Sold by North Bank Phar-
macy.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25

Never amuse your children at the ex.
pense Of other people; never allow
your children 10 ridicule other people.
Neglect this advice aud the time will
assuredly come when these children
will amuse themselves with your fol-
bles and ridicuie your authority.-Ex-
change.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25
Lame Shoulder.

This is a common form of mus
cular rheumatism. No internal
treatment is needed. Apply Cham
berlain's Liuiment freely three
times day and a quick cure is
certain. This liniment has proven
especially valuable for muscular
aud chronic rheumatism. Sold by
all good druggists.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25
Which Waa the Werssf

'when returned from our poker
party last night my wife Just looked
at me; not u word was spoken"
my wife looked at me. too. and l
don't believe that word was unspo.
ken."-Houston Post.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25

Benham-I wish you wouldn't use
the telephone 80 much for out Of town
calls.
Mrs. Benham-I like 10 talk 10 moth.
err
Benham--That's what ! object TO;
rm tired OF paying gas bills.-New
York Press.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25
A Careless Man.

Father-why have you quarreled
with Harry Daughter-Because he
proposed 10 me last night. Father
Well, there was no harm In that. was
there? Daughter-But had accepted
him the night before,-lllustrated Bits.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25

II imagine from your speech that
you are taxidermist."
"What makes you think soY'
principally because you tell me
am as wise as an owl and then try to
stun me. e."-Exchange.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25

Q cough that has been hanging on
for over two months by taking Bal
lard's Horehound Syrup. II you
have a cough. don't wait-stop il
OF once with this wonderful remedy.
Splendid for coughs. cold ON chest
influenza. bronchitis and pulmon-
sry troubles. Price asc. soc and
eI.oo. Sold by North Bank Phar-
macy.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25

Perseverance Is more prevailing than
violence, and many things which can
not be overcome when they are TO-
gether yield themselves up when taken
little by little.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25

A pinched old age is the price
you must pay for spending ALL the
money you make now. Penury
aud poverty for your old age. Do
you want itl Save in the First
National Bank. IT
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25
7. p. WARD. Propristor.
NOTICE TO Aovssr'sssa

In order - insure Q change u -
vsrtissmsHt the copy Ter sueh shaN0s
shsuid reach this stIses Nst lister thaa
"wednesday. q : e'sleek ?. N. eieass
esmsmbss TILE a~t save the prIatss
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25

Bring In your job printing while
you think Of 1t. Doat walt until you
are entirely out. We are equipped
to turn out neat and tasty printing
promptly at Portland prices q lea
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25
Strict Ohedlenee.

salesman-shirt, sir WIN you have
q negligee or stiff .bosoml Customer
-Negligee, l guess. The doctor said
must avoid starchy things. Boston
Transcript
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25

Cheerfulness Is one Of the surest In
dications Of good sense.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25

Subscribe for the st. johns Review
and keep posted on the doings Of
The city.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25

sssss ~ 'sAss - yssr passs
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25

Preach the gospel Of St. Johns.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25

Preach the gospel Of st. Johns.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1910-02-25

wers tcs . Greater 81 Johns.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-03-12
Revolutionary Regulations

At all events nobody has put forth
the theory that Edward Rutledge was
a horse thief or that either Thomas
Jefferson or Charles Carroll OF Carroll.
ton was in the habit Of robbing hen
coOps.-ChicaEO Record Herald.
=
There are two historic chars cters al
least whose shades have no apprehen-
sion that James Henry stark, Of Bos-
ton. historical garbage collector. Will
taruish their fame-Judas Iscariot and
Benedict Arnold-Evering Wisconsin.
=
Historian Stark stiu insists that a Tot
Of those distinguished Revolutionary
worthless were corrupt and disreputabie
persons. No wonder Indignation over
his assertion is warm Such disclosures
are likely to cast an unpleasant shadow
over many a now beautiful D A r
record.-Indianspoli Star.