Los Angeles herald., 1910-04-26

hULL up the old willow chair, light
the pipe and as the smoke curls
n skyward draw on the white screen
of your imagination a briskly moving
picture of Uncle Joseph Cannon, age
95, and still defying the insurgents and
the anti-nicotine screamers. our Uncle
made the important announcement the
other day at a close of a conference
with President Taft that he is just
beginning to get used to the hang OF
the gloves and that as soon as his
knuckles become snugly fitted to the
leather he will start in and begin the
slugging and sidestepping In manner
worthy of one of his lightweight aplllty
and tender years.
MY boy" he said, addressing pre-
sumably a feeble old man, my boy,
activity is the foundation of a long
life. The people who die don't die from
overwork."
Here, presumably, he turned a triple
back somersault.
"They die from gluttony and under
work and worry"
At this point, presumably, he walked
on his hands until he was Scotch plaid
in the face.
"Those are things that kill.
He surprised his listeners here, pre-
sumably, by doing the double chln
twisting vertebraical gig, for the first
time in the United States, immediate
ly after which he received large Of
fer to work with the Sells Sapolio cir
Gus the coming season.
II expect to live at least twenty-five
years longer"
Uncle Joseph accentuated this re-
mark, presumably, with a scene from
1.-THE Merry Widow" executed While
standing upon his left wrist
Twenty-Five with what he has now
will bring it up to about 80.
Herr Grade is a monoplane manipu-
tor. one of these days not long past
he manipulated the machine into the
atmosphere above the aerdrome at
Nice. A week previous the bold air
scorcher had been married, so ne was
still somewhat nervous, marriages WIN
the accompanying rice and bells ana
things tending to render one nervous
even in that eXhilarating foreign at
mosphere-the same atmosphere lnto
which at the time of this story ne
steered his trusty monoplane. AS ne
attained greater heights and greater
heights and greater heights he became
more nervous and still more nervous.
There were several other air craft IN
the same air at the same time. 10
Herr Grade, because he was aware thaI
the eyes, the only eyes In the Woriu,
of his newly gotten wife were turned
toward him, the air craft looked IKE
many more than they really were py
actual, conscientious count
He lodged four or five OF the three
other craft. He lost control of his own
machine and ducked into the deep blue
river Var, which was near at hand
waiting for aeroplane guests.
His wife was waiting to geet MIN;
YES. to embrace him, as he dragged an
armload Of the monoplane ashore.
Prof. w. M. Wheeler of Harvard uni
versity, who has always been thought
to be of a most peaceful dlsposltion
has started a war. In a lecture last
week he made a sighting remark about
mosquitoes and as a result the mos
quito family in general has been SUD
iectinR the professor to every CON
ceivable kind of unkind criticism, Ihe
professor stated that the fall or an
cient Greece and Rome was directly
due to the mosquito, which introduced
malaria from Egypt and Asia.
.aThis Is the last straw from Fro
fessor Wheeler" said prominent mos
quito upon receiving the news OF the
assertion. First the human scientists
call us Culicadae and then charge up 10
ms every calamity that has befallen
mankind. we abound in malarial dis
tricts only that we may give 10 hu-
mans free hypodermic injections OF our
home made quinine, which keeps them
healthy"
Terpsichore and the Tafts are in
separable, Word has come that Char-
lev Taft, the youngest son of William
Howard, has appeared In skirts in
theatrical production at the Taft school
at Watertown, Conn. 1t is reported
that while the father was plying the
light fantastic course at ball room In
Washington the son was riding a ol-
cycle and hopping about in the part OF
LADY Tomasie in Pinero's play, The
Amazons." With a fetching blonde wig
and cheeks heavily rouged, and, or
course, by dint of the airy-fairyness IN
herited from his graceful father, ne
won a whole hot house seasons output
of laurels in the amateur show.
But [ wouldn't be lopsy, wopsy
girl in a tea gown the way some or the
fellows in the Yale Dramatic associa-
ton do" he said. He added that he did
not expect to make acting or ballet
work his life vocation. Even IL did,
father would not approve" he as
serted.
DR. Harvey w. Wiley, the pure food
expert of the agricultural department,
blew westwardly recently to inspect
laboratories of the department in ST.
Louis, Kansas City, Omaha and st.
Paul. When he returned to his home
SzAEIEzaA