davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13
ENTER MAUD, SMILING.

w. d. Nesbit in Chicago Post. I
taud Muller cts a name you know
stood on the sidewalk shoveling snow.
(This parody, you see, 3 thing
We write each winter, fall and spring)
The Judge came walking down the street
All cautious where he placed his feet.
He saw fair Maud, and DOTTED his hat
AND thought he'd stop and have a chat.
But treacherous ice was hid below
Inc velvet Wilderness OF the snow,
And while the Judge sedately bowed
with manner dignified and proud
His feet slipped on the, hidden Toe
He swayed and stumbled once or twice,
He tried in vain to overcome
His lack Of equilibrium,
He grasped and grappled at the air
And found no firm support was there
And so with wild and sudden shout
ne whirled and twirTed and spun about
And waved his arms, and wrenohed his
back -
And then came sprawling down, ker-smaoli
The snow scooped up beneath his vest =
AND plastered him by east and west,
The back bresdths Of his coat were torn.
And for his language we should mourn.
He then arose. deliberate
And stalked away with perfect gait
And never gave a backward glance.
TO Maud, who waited for the chance,
And when the Judge was far away
She laughed as though she laughed for
pay.
She shrieked. she sdueaIed in girlish
At how the judge had whaelsed the earth.
And then, too much amused to talk.
She finished shoveling off the walk
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

more general II congress acts favora-
bly, upon q recommendation OF the
presidents made in his last message
Il brings these positions in foreign
lands within the scope Of civil service.
guaranteeing their permanenoe and
stability. These provisions will go a
long way toward securing a better
grade OF young men. and therefore a
higher degree Of |eficiency in the
service. Il is another long move away
from the old spoils system.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

Having reduced the deficit in his
department by eleven and one-half
million dollars in a year, Postmaster
General Hitchcock is in a position to
say very distinctly what ought to be
done, and should have a respectful
hearing. A manager who could make
a showing as good as this for a private
corporation would be deemed of in
estimable value for his services.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

South Dakota voters are entitled to
credit for one thing. They defeated
all but one of the amendment laws
submitted to the referendum. This
warrants the assumption that the
South Dakotans are pretty well sstis-
fed with the laws they have, and are
not eager to try out a new lot. II the
people of other states could only get
into this mood the advantage would
be inestimable
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13
Chance for COLLEGE Graduates.

The government is Ahording excel
lent opportunities to college gradu-
ates in It's consular service. Young
men to a limited number who can pass
the required exsminations are offered
positions as. assistants to consular
agents or interpreters in foreign lands
at salaries much better than the gem
erai run OF pay given TO the young
man coming out of college. OF course,
for those who elect TO become inter-
prefers II means another course Of
study in the language in which they
are to become adopts But such
young men are paid $1,000 a year and
allowed $125 yearly for their tuition.
Il looks like a wide field of useful
ness. II probably will encourage
many a young man not in college TO
seek such course and many who are
there to apply themselves with special
diligence. But the largest effect viii
be in the opportunity II affords those
whom the government accepts for ex-
panding upon their college training
through travel and study OF the ways
and languages and peoples Of these
other countries. Back OF all this is
stu another strong induoement The
government is gradually fOFtifyins
those who engage in its consular and
diplomatic service by the merit system
OF promotion. and this Is to De made
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

The spectacle of transfer wagons
hauling barrels and bottles, and cases
and kegs. and other receptacles and
utensils filled with the forbidden bev-
erage through the streets of sanity
Lincoln was a sight that must have
warmed the heart of the early-bird
legislator who happened to be there
present. II is also a sufficient COM
mentary in itself on the quality of the
drouth that has prevailed in Lincoln
since Havelock went dry.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

1t is doubtful If any presidents
message ever met with such general
approval as President Taft's latest
one AS the New York Sun said, it is
"Look-be fore-you-leap" message.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13
Can clark Come Baek ."

Ex-senator Clark, once OF Montana, has
Just paid 100000 for a dinner service for
his New York mansion. This indication
of his sturdy devotion to the simple life
win be a great appeal to the people out In
Montana by whom the New Yorker hopes
TO be elected TO the senate again.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

Two New York youths saw a pretty girl
In restaurant One of them remarked
that her lips were made to kiss and asked
the girl: How much for one kiss2" She
fixed a price OF ., and each Of the young
men paid, and received a kiss. Everybody
thought II funny until the girl started 70
80 with the money. Then the youths had
her arrested. In court the judge started TO
lecture the girl, but she wouldn't have 1t
so. She demanded her $40. arguing that a
bargain was a bargain, whether IN kisses
or merchandise. The court had to agree
with the girl, though he plaintively re-
marked that the case was new in law
ReserYing- opinion as 20 the girl, it may
be said that the young men never deserve
another kiss on any terms.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13
Heading Off the Spenders.
phtIadalnhfa Rarord

So many members OF congress have a
rooted habit OF making friends with the
Mammon of unrighteousness that Presi-
dent Taft will find It hard to save at one
window a 1.-THE OF what is thrown out Of
another.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

Senator La Toilette, however, must
not appeal for new administration on
the basis Of his refusal to call at the
White House when invited to do so by
the president
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

right to freely express HIS choice Of
men for office. II he has no political
convictions, II he does not care to
afiliate with any of the existing par
ties. he should not abrogate to him
self the privilege OF destroying an
other mans opportunity to so affiliate.
Abolition Of party is hopeless. Polit-
ical contests will always be decided on
differences Of opinion that determine
the position Of candidates and their
supporters. The so-called indepen-
dent voter is perhaps entitled to recog-
milton as such, but 80 long as he is in
the minority he should not be permit
ted to dictate 20 the majority. The
primary law ought to be so amended
that Il will preserve party integrity, in
order that political groups may have
free opportunity to express their sup
port of principles as we'll as of men.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

Brooklyn's oldest citizen lie 1O6,
and he says the way to live long is
never to buy anything at q drug store
except postage stamps. Yes, and you
better not lick them.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

Fireproof whiskers for Santa Claus
may be an innovation, but If gener-
ally adopted will rob Christmas cele-
bration OF much of its terror. It's
plan worth trying, anyhow.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

The highest price on record for beans
$1,000 for thirty bsrrels-has just been paid
by a New York bonding company. They
we're neither charity beans nor prize beans,
just plain. ordinary beans OF the favorts
Boston variety.
The bonding company sent its check for
the beans to United States Commissioner
Shields Of the federal court, who applied
II In satisfaction Of the forfeited bail Of
J r Ehrgott formerly a bean dealer In
the wholesale district. In 1902, Ehrgott
Was indicted on the charge Of having
smuggled thirty barrels OF beans into the
United states from Canada. The duty on
the smuggled beans was $3.50.
IArraigued IN the United states circuit
court DhrgOtt was held In $4,000 bail for
trial He put up $4,000 IN cash with the
bondiRs company ana then left the coun-
try. he has never come back and his bond
was recently declared forfeited.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

Editor Adam Breede puts the mat
ter up pretty squarely to the sheriff
in the land barons' case. II 1t had
not been for prying reporters the
Adams county Jail might have been a
very happy home.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

The Washington Post breaches a
whole sermon In these few words;
There isn't room in the country for
two republican parties" When the
two factions get that thoroughly into
their heads Ne shall be able to ae-
complish more good for the nation.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13
What About itF
Philadelphia Bulletin.

Meat prices go up" read dispatches
from the packing centers. but what. might
be asked. has become of that rosy tale of
plentiful corn crop and cheap corn-fed
cattlet
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

MIR. Bryan has decided to raise
oranges instead OF lemons on his
Texas ranch. Lemons, he has found,
are indigenous to most of the states
in the union.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

Alaska sends over the Macedon-
ian cry for women" not stenograph-
ers, but laundresses and storekeepers
Why not come gut and admit that
they are looking for wives up there?
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

The Lincoln charter committee has
completed its work and is now ready
to submit the document to the legis-
lature. This Is an example of indus
try Omaha might we'll emulate.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

Subscribers leaving the city tenn
pOrarily should have the Zee
mailed "a them. Address will be
changed ne often ~ requested.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

washington FO3t.
The democrats are going to live on the
fat OF the land so long as the insurgents
and standpatters keep on trying to swallow
each other.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

Vanity Fair Of London thinks Amer
leans are snObs. whyG Have they
been turning down those impecunious
counts too consistently?
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

st. Louis is now fighting the smoke
evil" That is another evil that
was not so general during those calm.
leisurely days Of democratic rule.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

That soldier at Fort Mckinley who
stole twentSeseven hounds Of bacon
probably will be dealt with on the
basls Of capital oftsnae.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

And now comes another eloquent
preacher and finally obliterates hell in
its entirety This will deprive a lot
of people of the only real pleasure
they have in life-that of contem-
plating the future of their neighbors.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

AS soon as the congressional hot
air furnace gets TO working good this
cold wave ought to be moderated.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

A New York woman advocates pen
sions for deserted wives. Why not
call It premiums?
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

One virtue about the aeroplane is
that 1t promises not to become popular
for many years lt
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

OF course there is no use for the
weather man to begin too early to
prepare for Santa Claus.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

II folks keep on getting so good
there will not be any muck for the
muekrakers to rake.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

Will 1t be necessary to place an age
limit on hunters to keep down the
death rate?
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

One good way for those ducks to
get their wounds healed is to produce
results at this short session.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13
LAUGHING LINES.

DO you know" he boosted 81 hAvw
been successful in everything ever tried 90
How remarkable she yawned. 81 wish
some time you'd try to interest me De-
troit Free Press.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

II was thoughtful of General Ma
dero to declare himself provisional"
president OF Mexico.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

Strange as It may seem, water has
never had its natural effect of disso-
luton OF the sugar trust.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13
sT,ATEMENr on CIRcT1LATIoN.

STATEMENT or CIRCULATION.
State OF ,Nebraska, Douglas County, 80.
George b. T1schuck. treasurer Of The Bee
Publishing Company. being duly sworn
says that the actual number Of full and
complete copies Of The Daily, Morning,
month Of November, 1910 was as follows:
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

British elections, like the national
game OF cricket, are conducted on the
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. plan.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

Why do you cal, your furnace such
names?
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

How'd you like to join our athletic
club2'
Wouldn't be worth while. expect to
swear off the first of the year" -Washing-
ton Herald
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

Several of those eminent lawyers
and 1urists who have been hanging
around Washington may return to
their homes, now that the president
has made his supreme court selections.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

Already discerning man may get a
vision of cheap ice next summer.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

Your daughter practices on the plano
faithfully I notice. Now mine hates IT,"
Mine does, too But she'd rather prao-
tice all day than help with the house.
work. Louisville Courier-Journal
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

GEORGE b. TZSCHUCK,
Treasurer.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn TO
before me this 90th day Of November. 1910.
NJ. p. WALKER,
CSeaL) Notary Public.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13
Around New York

nipples on the Current OF L fo
au Seen In the Great Amsrioan
Metropolis from nay 60 nay.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

According to Bill Mclaughlin Larry Null
ligan brought back with him from Ireland
a lot OF blackthorns, says the New York
correspondent of the Cincinnati Times
Star. He has been adding to his popularity
among the Gaels here by distributing them
widely. They're fine In a scrap, mark ye,"
said Mr. Mullgan "beca' Sc the thorns kape
the other felly from pullin' II out of your
hand. And as long as you carry q black
thorn you'll never have the fear sickness,
at all"
Noah Loder, a Wall street lawyer. was
a recipient Of one OF the famous shillalahs
He was very proud of II. He subscribed to
all the Irish literature he could hear of,
undertook to learn Gaelic and spent his
Sunday afternoon at the Metropolitan mu-
scum looking over the Irish exhibit. II
got so that he very rarely forgot his bit
OF brogue when he talked. He wore q
green ribbon on his hat carried a sham
rock in his billfold and was letter perfect
In the Cronin case and the Clan Ma Gasl
litany. The other night he walked into q
cafe, hat on the back Of his head, trying
to look as though his coat tails were long
and his gsiters short just like the wild
Irishman you see In prints.
''Fwhot will yeE hov, byes?' he asked.
And then apolOgiEed for the dialect. '1ts
all the BIT Of q blaokthorn, moind ye," he
said to James Common Roche. liver since
I've had the tashte Of sthick / fale loiks
a rale Oirishman."
James Conner Roche picked up the black
thorn. He Is by way Of being a connois-
seur in them. He called to Mr. Loder's at
tention a line stamped deeply, but ineon-
splcuously on the wood. 1t was:
asNeda in
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

Time had begun TO hang heavy on peoples
hands
This is unendurable!' they orled; let's
kill him"
SO they invented those outdoor games that
are so deadly nowadays. Chicago Tribune.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

ANY feuds In your neighborhood9"
Not now. We used TO have a sociabls
fight occasionally, but some Of our premi-
nent citizens got too formal"
Got too formal?'
Yes, imported machine guns. "-Toledu
Blade
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

Darn these automobiles" said the Kan
sas farmer.
Bother you much7" asked the tourist.
Il shd say so. Wen Teller sees a fun
nel-shaped cloud comm down the pike he
don't know whether to run fer a gun or q
cyclone cellar. Toledo Blade.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-12-13

Madge-Did you tell him you didn't bas
lieve him when he told you that you werA
the first girl he'd ever ioved7
Martorie-no, but I came right back at
him with another whopper. Said he was
the first man who had ever kissed me.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1910-11-22
The Missouri Rivers Claims.
\ fKansas { civ star.l y

=
I The ETrans.Misslssippi Commercial
Congress, which Will meet in San An.
tonic November 90, was born IN Kan.
'sas City, on the Missouri river, 20
years ago. This congress has never
urged government appropriations for
the improvement Of the Missouri riv-
or And yet thesimproyement Of the
Missouri is the, most urgent water
ways project in the whole Transmits
sissippi region. Il Is believed by the
Kansas City and Missouri delegation
to this years meeting that the in!
dorsement Of Missouri river improve
ment will now be forthcoming; because
Of the activity Of Kansas City in rails.
Ing more than a million dollars 20 put
boats on the river! Il,
The time has come when the Trans
Mississippi Congress must logically
take a hand In the waterways prob
lem The Missouri riser, the most I'm.
'portant stream IN Tie great region
west Of the Mississlppis Is entitled 70
generous CONFEDERATION. With nayi4
CATION once established III d conpte.
iensite wagon the Missouri as FAR up
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1910-11-22
- ~ 1iv- ts-Eti a 80, z = - : 5
SISTER FELIX DEAD.
Former Falrmont.s Teacher Passes

Former Falrnont Teacher Passes
Away In Grafton. :
News has been received in the city
of the death Of Sister Mary Felix
which occurred on Monday at Grafton.
Sister Felix was formerly connected
with the Parochial School in this city
and the news Of her death was re-
celved with regret.
The Grafton sentinei contains the
following account OF her death:
Sister Mary Felix, Of the Convent,
and one Of theibest known and oldest
teachers in ST Augustine's Catholic
school, succnmbed to intestinal OBJ
strlction which caused heart failure
this morning at the Powell Hospital
at one O'Clock The Sister snccumbed
while passing into anesthesia prepare
tory To- undergoing an. operation
Sister Felix became III Saturday
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1910-11-22


possibly that he could bring about =
cure Mntilation as 4 part Of the box
OF tricks 81 unofficial medicine was
practiced not sol long ago TO The gem
seral ltnow Wedge Of everyone and once
in d while III that fetid swamp Of ths
mainly through which police reporters
must ocasionally wade, evidence is
brought forth which shows that the
superstition still lingera. D.
sts Dublin Judges swithinltit last quar-
ter Of century had to deai with a case
OF the sort which was mo shameful
secret bstgee duaek and his dupe,
but was shared by an entire neighbor-
hood. George catiin3 tells how the
isIandani Indians chopped on Joints Of
itheirafingers and trusted thereby %
relieve disease and To- guard against
!, ills jim the future. The trepaning Of
the ancient Peruyians, whose pune;
/ tured skulls may be seen In the Ma.
tional Museum at Washington, prob
ably developed this surgery not to re.
lieye injury TO the brain, but to cure
ailments in other parts of the body.
Doubtless the patients, under the new
afflictions. forgot their earlier suffer
ings. This was sufficient satisfaction
for the NEEDLES of;the: time. 81:
The Georgia negro was arrested AND
The will probably be severely punished
He-had not the foresight to elevate hi.
practice into a religious pseudo;scien
tihc suit. RHadshe doh 3 30 lie would
not sonly; escape but game new fol
lowing possibly theE iud Be as number
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1910-11-22
NOD BY Corn only.
New York world.),


I. If 1t is the big corn crop alone that
is bringing down the price of meats,
how is 1t that its influence is felt be-
fore 1t is out of the shock and why
have provisions grown steadily high.
er since 1906, when the corn crop was
almost as large as it is this year.
The Beef Trust says that abundant
corn Sand high prices for meats have
stimulated the growing of live stock.
Cheap corn appeared only recently
and it takes more than a month to
turn corn into pork or beet. Bumper
crops ought to have . depressing 81.
feet upon the. food market but as they
have not always exerted that inflll
enceI II Is to be Presumed that other
causes have been atsWork.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1910-11-22
.THE NINE RESCUE CAR.

y II q y u
A series .of disastrous mine explo-
sions during several years past arous.
ed the attention Of Congress and re-
suited In the passage Of the bill ere
ating the Federal Bureau Of Mines,
whose special mission 1t is to CO.
operate with the State officials and the
operators in the science of safe min
ing and the. promotion of greater eff
slclency In mine rescue work,
The Bureau Of Mines had made
much progress in its work and is now
findustriously engaged in disseminat.
ing useful information: For the pur-
pose Of teaching the best methods of
mine rescue work the bureau has
equipped "a mine rescue car and is
sending it through the mining regions
together with competent force Of
demonstrators and lecturers. This car
80 In the Fairmopt region this week,
and every operator and his proper en-
ployes should take the time to visit
the car and receive suggestions and
instructions. They will prove of un.
doubted great value.
The mine rescue car Is not only a
school Of instruction, but it is also
designed as a hurry-up vehicle of help
case OF mining accidents. Upon
notice of a disaster, 1t will be. imme.
diately dispatched to the scene, &C,
/ cohpanied by a skilled corps Of res.
/ cuers equipped with rescue apparatus
and surgical appliances.
The mine rescue car and those in
y charge should be met in the same spir.
itwhich animates their coming.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1910-11-22

morning and rapidly sank She taaehtl
lin her school room asi iissais sri1ays5
and had charge Of The dFaaes d gtsde1
which she taught with grsa success. Ii
She was one Of tile Oldest teacher 1T
Grafton, inepast We ara having tsag6E
Messrs. John a. MEG 10 r.
cayeney and other Grat ton basjneasi
men. Recently hoewya Die Ind
been teaching elsewhere and Irned.
here in August she was d teacher
for SO years In Grnf on v6eslifis,
Huntington and airhioH U