davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29
KANSAS COAAENT
UNRELIABLE MEN.

The poor we have always with us.
and it is no great wonder, for the
Inen-men who make promises and then
forget them. who have no conception
of the value of punctuality.
An Empor1a man wanted a job done
wagon and an hours hard work on the
part OF a man. He was willing to pay
reasonable price for the work. but he
wanted it done right away. So he went
forth into the hedges and highways,
looking for a man with team. He
found an elderly man of woebegone
aspect. who professed to be glad Of
rhe chance. The woebegone man said
that he would "be around" the next
morning, with his foamingp steeds,
promptly at 8 o'clock The citizen, who
usually goes to work at 8 o'clock, stay
ed at home until nearly 10, in order to
show Mr.. Woebegone what he wanted
done. and how he wanted 1t done. OF
course Mr.. Woebegone didn't show up.
Two or three days later the latter
was encountered. and he had plenty OF
excuses. Men of that sort are always
long on excuses. But If he lives in
have a chance to do anything for that
weary citizen; and there are doubtless
many others who have been fooled and
disappointed by him who will help to
spread his reputation for unreliability.
The citizen in question engaged three
different men to do that Job, and none
Of them showed. up. The fourth man
said he'd be around at the next morn
ing. and he was there to the minute.
He did the job up in workmanlike
shape, and charged fair price for 1t,
and was away to another job. There
is always plenty of work for a man OF
that sort.
There is no better kind of renown
than a reputation for reliability, wheth-
er a man is teaming or selling grocer
les or saving the country.-Emporia
Gazette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29
HOMEMADE.

do not yearn for terrapin or salmon
steak or trout,
Or veniSon or quail or canvasback,
Or lobster a la Newburgh or dish of
deviled crab,
Or mushrooms or TURTLES rich and black
But my thoughts go barking backward
Ger the beaten path of years,
To places where I once was wont to
roam.
And again see before me on a china
platter piled
The shortcakes that they used to bake
at home.
They went into the oven, just dozen to
the pan,
Like little balls of light and fluffy snow;
And they issued forth like cobblestones or
prehistoric flint,
Or any substance far removed from
dough.
But think of them with longing and I
wish for them once more,
When 1 go to fish FOR tarpon in the
foam;
For I'd like to take one with me for
a sinker on my line,
The shortcakes that they used to make
at home.
-Minna Irving, in the New York Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

That International Indian Conven-
ton to be held in Muskogee during
the ten days ending July 4, will as
Euredly not be a success unless Crazy
Snake can be found and urged to par
ticipate. He is the most famous In
dian OF the present day. He beat the
whole national guard of the state of
Oklahoma to a frizzle in a go as you
please race of a months duration.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

school boys in their enthusiasm get a
bucket of paint and smear their class
year with their notices on the street
pavements and sidewalks they are
characterized as little scalawags of
the vandal type. But some Y. M. c.
A. boys who have plastered the side
walks with big blue-painted foot
prints calling attention to a member
ship contest which is being waged by
the association members, are credited
with having done something clever.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Characterizing an argument as
'drivel" is far from answering 1t.
u ::
There may be only three graces but
the disgraces are numberless.
x X
People who wait for things to come
to them are always getting left.
4 x y
Victories that are won without much
effort are scarcely worth the winning.
n X
The eldest of three grown-up sisters
is in sore straits when the younger
ones are more beautiful.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

traordiaary man. AS judge he has had
few superiors. His services to Kansas
while a member of the court of last re-
sort OF this state were memorable. SO
were his services in his higher ca
pacity as associate Justice of the ma
TONS court from which there is no
appeal. He will be sorely missed as a
jurist but he will be more missed as
the courageous and sturdy man among
men he was.-a friend and comrade of
the whole people
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29
HUNOR OF The DAY

..r what viii be fashionable this springr'
1,e. n1atever they re overstocked with In
Dibbs-women are invading all kinds Of
masculine occupations. Gibbs-There ars
Transcript
WHY why are you so bitter agains. Uncls
shortly after we named the baby for him
-Pittsburg Post.
What makes the writer use the first per-
soR w6 51hsu aaG SO SO mueh? He gets dollar
is. "-Washington Star.
turies inflicted by your wife you have
been unable to pursue your vocatjou7
What is your business. sir? your honor,
am lion tanner. "-Tit-Bits
Miss Sweet cannot find the new at
oacnme1t on the piano that you sold me
tachment? Well. 1 guess that will come
later.-St Louis Times.
George (making a caID-Maudie. dear.
the parrot doesn't seem to like me any
to offend him? The Parrott-Jack, am
the the first girl you ever issed?-Ch.cngo
tribune.
yes, I do most of my work at night
now; What Is the reason?' why, I'm
and being a Fletcherite, it takes me three
hours to eat."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
cook wish M The landa 1Sy TOpd get a. blond
butter match the INSTRUMENTATION Her
aid.
Just notice how that young actress
IunnyI See her throw her head back
Just like a bird. isn't it?'' Yes. She
wants to play the second hen in the Eng
drama."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"Ah, Mr. Jimsol"" exclaims the kitten
ish lady with the plenitude of powder on
daughter of Eve: . "weii, honestly re-
plies the laundering man, you don't look
half that old."-Chicago Post.
feet Miss Fetcham has? She Gealous)---
No, but I've observed what small shoes
she wears.-Boston Transcript.
Now they. have perfected mechanical
con1ttrivance for setting up tenpins." well.
well! What next?'' "Oh, suppose a de-
vice for knocking them down. "-Pittsburg
Achilles explained his vulnerability.
Just like a womanl'' he cried. Ma was
SO dead set on washing my ears that
she overlooked my heel" Thus the fam
Gus immunity bath proved a fizzle.-New
York Sun.
Londonese: Coster@Ere. wot abaht it?
Hawker-Wot abaht wot? Coster-wot
abaht wot yer said abaht me? Hawker-
Wen, wot abaht 1t? (And so on.)-Punch.
They say that Stevenson frequently
line. That's nothing. I know a man
who has been working the last six years
on one sentence."-Cassells Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

A good fellow downtown usually event.
1t UP by being disagreeable at home
When man gets caught making a foil
of himself he thinks he was one 7nIx, Re
cause he got caught.
The way rich men can get into every
Inlng IN this world makes you suspfcioi1s
ST. Peter viii treat them the same IN the
next. a. eAiS
When a man Is willing to Give ~, .
DaseDaIl game to go to a reception vrith
his wife she has caught him donIr sor,a
thing much worse. s'ie-
All the fun for some people i'm eo,r.r ..
tne tneater IS driving everybody else SvsiS
~ exRlainlng In loud whispers what n
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

II the cook book which has been
prepared by Uncle Jim Wilson, secre-
tary of the federal department of ag-
riculture, which tells, among other
things, how to make poor meat taste
good, were not going to be given
away, 1t would certainly make the six
best sellers for the year hustle to win
their lauraIs
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

In the newspaper dispatches from
time to time telling of the unannounc-
ed departure of students from the
Haskell Indian school the word "es-
cape" is so often used that one might
be pardoned for thinking the place a
penal institution rather than one de-
voted to the purposes of education.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

Washburn's debating team also
seems to have become affected with
the microbe that has been playing
such havoc of late with the athletic
teams of this institution. But then,
successful athletic and other teams
are no criterion of the worth of an
educational institution. even if some
misguided individuals appear to think
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

If the responsible officials of the
bribe-giving banks of Pittsburg, Pa,
are punished to the full extent of the
law something worth while will have
been accomplished. The effect of
such action would be salutary
throughout the entire country.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29
HOW SHORT WEIGHTS WORK.

The minions of the law swooped
down on a Kansas town the other day
and arrested and fined two honest
grocerymen because they had dishon-
est things to weigh things on. The
grocers asserted positively that they
did not know their scales were dis
honest. but 1t was contended they
ought to be at least on speaking terms
with their scales, and know whether
they are straight or not. But as the
scales were two ounces shy on the
pound, 1t is Interesting to see how far
this thing viii 60. That would be IL
per cent that you bought that you did
not get. Then the grocer of course
made legitimate profit of at least 10
per cent. That makes % per cent.
The wholesaler made at least 10 per
cent, and that is 80. Then the impor--
ter, If you bought something not raised
at home, had to make a profit of not
less than 10 per cent, which is AZ.
Then If it was sugar or some. other
highly protected necessity, you had to
pay about 80 per cent for tariff duty.
Figure out how much was coming to
the original producer. and the final
consumer.-Lawrence Gazette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

Contemplating the winning of the
first two games of the season by the
Topeka team, the local fans of super
stitious tendencies are wagging their
heads in a dolefu1 way and recalling
the saying that "a good beginning
makes a bad ending
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

Newspapers over the state are ap-
parently vieing with each other to see
which one can give the finest tribute
to Mark TuIley for his services as
state treasurer and in endorsing him
for third term. Best of all, these
tributes are most deserved.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29
MATING society Novels.

Curtis Clendenin, author of the pop
ular society novels which gave such
close insight into the ways Of the ultra
set, was sitting at his writing desk. He
had just finished a paragraph:
Exquisite taste showed in the room
Delicate tones of rose bluShed a deep
shade in the carpet. Fine, slender fes-
toons of bronze fell from the frieze, a
garland of the same metal; the full-col-
ored mahogany furniture struck deep
tones of polish brown; masses Of car
nations, in tall, slender bronze vases,
stood on the hearth and contrasted
with the pink cipolino marble of the
graceful mantelpiece. A single Bouch-
er, old rich, and dim, showed in the
chimney breast"
That's getting the spirit of the
thingt' he exulted to himself.
Then he stepped to the landlady:
Say, there, Mrs. Murphy, I've got to
have some more heati Do you think I
want TO wear my overcoat out in the
house ?''-Homer Croy, in Judge
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

While the Kansas representatives
In congress are at Washington attend
ing to the duties of their offices their
square deal" opponents for the next
congressional nominations are as
busy as bees making the most vigor-
Gus sort of personal campaigns. This
really doesn't SAVIOR very much of a
square DEAL" but everything goes in
politics just as in war and in love.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

Considering the size of her pocket
book New York will probably be we'll
able to bear up under the stigma of
being the ugliest city in the United
States as she has been characterized by
Arnold A. Drummer, president of the
American Institute of Architects
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

Presumably the many lions that
Colonel Roosevelt and his party got
have long since ceased to be in a
condition where they can appreciate
his haunting joke that none of them
did their duty as Wall street saw It.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29
Ate a licensed SAUSAGE.

While G. E. Sewright, was eating
wienerwurst, commonly known as
a hot dog in a restaurant, he bit
something metallic. It proved to be
dog license No. 4,413. Sewright then
denounced the beef trust that raised
the prices to such height that res
taurant keeper can't afford to serve
anything but dog. and tried to thrash
the waiter who served the wiener and
the cook who prepared 1t. The po-
lice quelled the riot, whereupon Sc
wright went to the city hall and asked
the license clerk whose dog was num-
bered 4,413. The clerk looked through
his records, and replied: Miss Anna
Bell, 3O0k South Los Angeles street;
a female Scotch terrier. Why?"
Sewright said: i've eaten her. Bet
ter cancel the record"
Miss Bell said she lost her dog
three weeks ago. The restaurant that
served the wienerwurst with dog IL
cense trimmings AYERS that the food
was bought in the regular way.
Sewright has foresworn wieners,
and Miss Bell has cancelled the reward
she offered for her dog.-Los Angeles
Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

Topekans will have a chance this
week to show whether or not they
are really in earnest in the matter of
establishing an adequate state fair
here. Their enthusiasm over this
big project will be measured by the
dollars and cents they invest in the
undertaking. Mr.. Cook. the new sec
rotary of the association, cannot put
on a good fair unless he has the
Mherewithal with which to do it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

PhiladeIphia's great sympathetic
strike has been called off. About the
only thing it accomplished was to in
lure the business activity of a large
city in inmeasurable ways and to de-
prfve the thousands of strikers of
three weeks wages. Sympathetic
strikes never have accomplished
much. And the experience in Phila-
deIphia ought not to enhance their
popularity to any great extent
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

China is planning to have the big
gest army in The world and if she ever
gets it properly equipped and trained
Russia and Japan will surely sit up
md take notice.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

How feeting is fame. Nothing is
heard of Archie Roosevelt these days.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

It's pretty near time for March to
roar if she is going to make a noise
like lion.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

IT all depends on who do things as
70 Aow they are taken. When high
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29
EROA OTHER PENS
CHINA SHOWING HER TEETH.


The military awakening in China is
already having its effect in a stiffening
of the Chinese national vertebrae. China
has in the railroad matter disposition
TO defy both Japan and Russia, and
Russian diplomats are expressing more
concern for future possibilities OF war
with China than with Japan. One of
the latest and most significant indica-
lions of this awakening Is the recent
invasion of Tibet by fully equipped
modern army of $4,000 men, sent by the
Chinese government to assert the aD-
solute sovereignty Of China over the
land ruled by the Lamas. The army has
taken possession of LhasSa, and the
Lalai Lama has fed to India for refuge
and has been given an official residence
by the British. where he IS being treat
ed with great outward respect as the
head of the Buddhist religion.
Only few years ago had China made
such a move, following such an expedi-
ton as the British sent into Tibet,
she would have been quickly called to
account, but times have changed The
day for jumping upon China for every
little thing has passed. In time China
will do a. little jumping herself, If civ
ilized nations do not busy themselves
to see that she awakes without dreams
of conquest stimulated by religious hos
tility.-St. Louis Star.
THE FAT FARMER.
It has become a practice-beg1nn1ng
humorously but now assuming serious
aspects-to speak of the farmer as the
plutocrat of the country. Sometime
ago a man from New Jersey moved to
city in Iowa and bought the largest
house in town. The wife Of neigh
Dor called on his wife and remarked:
I'VE said that none but farmer would
take this house." The remark was UNI
derstood to be a little offensive. until
the eastern woman learned that only a
farmer would have money enough to
buy it.
Golfers Weekly in mentioning this
incident records a case where farm
er bought a house and some land for
his son, and coolly counted out the
price, $4,000, in gold: and of another
farmer who ran down in his costly au-
tomobile a poor city man who was
loafing along in a cheap buggy. the
editor concludes that g a farmers life Is
not so SLOW"
If this sort of thing is to be said
seriously and taken seriously it will
do a great deal of harm. since one or
two years of good crops have not rails
ed the farmers into plutocratic class.
They are prosperous and will continue
to prosper, but they are not yet and
will never be the members of the
wealthy circles of our social order
Columbia South Carolina State.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

He-Have you ever noticed what small
feet Miss Fetcham has? She C1ea1ousl-
No, but I've. observed what small shoes
she wears.-Boston TRANSCRIPT.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

The .Judge-You say that because az in
luries inflicted by your wife you have
Deen unable to pursue your vocation ?
What Is your business, sir? Your honor
l am lion tamer."-Tit-Bits
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

wish the landlady would get a blond
COOK Why?' "Oh. I like to see the
butter match the Observation-Disclosures Her
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

Miss Sweet cannot find the new at
tachment on the piano that you sold me
on the four-year plan. Manager Er-ar-
tachment? Well. L guess that will come
later.-St. Louis Times
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

George (making a calD-Aaudie, dear
the parrot doesn't seem to like me any
too well this evening. What have I done
70 OFFEND him? The Parrott-Jack, am I
Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

What makes the writer use the first per-
son singular so much?'' ''He gets a dollar
a word. and T is the shortest word there
is. "-Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

Just notice how that young actress
sips from her glass of water isn't that
funny? See her throw her head back
Just like bird, isn't it?'' Yes She
wants to play the second hen in the Eng
lsh version of the Rostand barnyard
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Plain Dealer
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

Yes, l do most of my work at night
now. What is the reason?' "Why, Pm
a Wneyfte, and cook my food four hours
and being a Fletcherite, it takes me three
hours to eat."-Cleveland Plain Dealer
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

"Ah, Mr.. Jimsol!'' exclaims the kitten
ish lady with the plenitude of powder on
her face, you must remember / am a
daughter of Eve well, honestly" re-
half that old."-Chicago Post
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

Why are you so bitter agains. Uncla
Nebuchadnezzar? HE lost his money
shortly after we named the baby for him .
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

What will be fashionable this spring7''
Whatever they're overstocked with in
Paris, s'pose. Post
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

Now they have perfected a mechanical
conttrivance for setting up tenpins." well.
vice for knocking them down. dEPittsburg
Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

Dibbs-Women are invading all kinds Of
masculine occupations. Gibbs-There ars
no women rat catchers yet!-Boston
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-03-29

Achilles explained his vulnerability
SO dead set on washing my ears that
she overlooked my heel" Thus the fam
Gus immunity bath proved a fizzle.-NeW
York Sun.
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1910-10-23

monizo with the decorations of tn,
room.
There IS also ? noticeable improve.
:nent in tho disposal o. radiators lp
tho nloGer1 house. Many are con.
Cocloc under upholstered window
seats, or cro - such size and share
IS to be less c',,rusive than the nuge
-ilt things that were invariably IN the
BEST corner cf the room. Al avaucra-
tton pan has Just appeared which will
co away with the motley assortment
Of bowls and pans &c De 1ounc Oh the
average radiator. This IS Oh Russian
-,cc, painted the same as the radiator.
nd is about tour inches high with a
ccDGcity Of scTcraI gallons. Il ma
be claEPcc firmly tc the radiator g
that there g Ic danger Of It's Upset
ting.-but ghas = HsL-po2d ana sea
Of adventure It may prove 10 the
youthful investigator,
An excellent -dcc recently adopted
1y many builders IS the rounded CO..
aers n the kitchen ard sometimes IL
he bed ccoms and bath room. THIS
simplifas cleaning immensely auc
from Q sanitary standpoint = -nGlito-
II superior &c inaccessible co-Decs
where may Turk dust anc germs.
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1910-10-23

be convenient for umbrellas and rub
bers and the like. A long mirror was
set in the door of the closet nearby,
should, one wish to cast a parting
glance therein. In the living room were
the bookcases built across the whole
length Of the room, on either side 0.
the fireplace. The radiator was con-
cealed under a long, low window seat.
IN the dining room : china closet filled
IN the corner OF the room, while the
buffet was embedded in the side wall.
Cupboarda and linen closets flied the
passage to the kitchen, where glass
doored and glass-shelved cupboard5
were or every side. Eyen the flour
bin was a fixture.
1t would seem 10 be carrying this
idea to extremes to have beds built
IN the walls, bu' tb" practicability Of
$50 doing is soon demonstrated. In
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1910-10-23

effects OF chaste elegance and not pre-
tentious luxury. Never has the man
OF moderate means been so we'll able
to build home so suited to his needs
2nd so artistic as at the present time.
Architects generally are putting forth
their best efforts to design attractive
homes that may be built for sums
ranging from $4,000 to $1,000. In fact
many delightful bungalows are being
built for $1,000.
Indeed, probably more so-called
bungalows are being erected than any
cther style of dwelling. Bungalow has
como to be such an elastic term IN
tAis country that it is applied to many
.lcuses which may not rightly be given
tle euphonius name. Bungalow is the
name given to certain Bengalese
houses, but it IS said that the inns or
hotels built by the English In India are
the only real bungalows to be found
there. These are long. low buildings