davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1895-1919, 1910-12-01

HATLEY, Wis. Pc trzech
miesiacach Polacy maja zno
wa ksiedza W parafi naszej j
10. ME jednego, ale az trzech
kt0rych Biskup przyslaf 2
Eurspy. NoWy ksiadz pro
5boszcz Joachim Or]owski jest
praMdziwym dobrodziejem
ME przelakl sic tutejszej O.
kolicy kamienistej. Dojezdza-
10 tn do Polak6 6w Mietu ksie-
zy, ale laden z mich ME
chcial pozostac.
Urodzsjje tn dobre. Karto-
lie o orodzi}y sic tax DUE, ze
"a jeden kartofel zaplaeono
.dolara j zabrano go do NIL
wankee na pokaz, gdzie stoi
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1895-1919, 1910-12-01

PETERSBURG, 28 ]isto
pada. Duma odroczyfa sesye
ma znak za}oby pomodu zgo---
nu To}stoja; sta1o sic to jed
max dopiero po debacie, b,
prawica sprzeciwiata sic Cd
roczeniu sadzac re okazywa-
ME czci Tolstojowi jest pro-
wokacya wzgiedem csi'kwi
prawoslawnej kt6ra - jak
wiadomo exkomunikowa-
la Tolstoja; nadto podnoszo-
no i to, re To1stoj Dune
zwyH byi lekcewazyc.
Kiedy premier Sto}ypin
przediozyf carowi rapport o
zgonie Tofstoia, car nakresiji
IA lego marginesie. ,,Op1aku-
je zgon meza kt6ry byl
chluba Rcsyi j talent sw6j
pnswiecif ma s1uzbe Ojczyz'
ME; oby Bog by1 dian Sc
dzia mi}osiernym"
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1895-1919, 1910-12-01

GRAND RAPIDS Mich.~W
niedziele przedsiebiorca po-
grzebowy 1gnacy f. Kara
sihski, bracia zabitego stani-
s1awa Kieca!a, i pewien mez-
czyzna kt6rego nazwano
BILL" Baylis udali sic ma
.cmentarz polski i odgrzebaw-
sly zw4oki zmar}ego pitscia-
rza obejrzeli tax owe uwaznie
i napow1%t je pogrze bali.
Dlaczego ponownie odbyto
egzaminacye zw}ok ME jest
wyjasnionem, lecz po;iobno
uczyniono to W ce]u otrzy-
mania pewnych dowod6w do
uzycia W procesie oskarzo-
nego o morderstwo Waltera
Dipley.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1895-1919, 1910-12-01
WIEDEN, % listopada.

WIEDEN, % istopada. =
Tutejsi profesorawie Ulzer
Somuer wynalezli spos6b
szybkiego prodnkowania ra-
dium! Dotychczas wydoby-
wano radium z blendy ura-
nu procesem trwajacym poi
tora roku! Nadto wydobywa
no tylko niezwykle drobne
ilosci rennego pierwiastka,
kt6rego ma ca1ym swiecie
maja obecnie ME wiecej jak
8 gram6w! ssPoniewaz owa
.blenda znajduje sic W Au
:stryi i gdzieindziej sbardzo
essbtfficie wiec przy prostszym i
znacznie szybszym procesie
wydobywania 1adium wyna-
1ez1onym przez profesor6w -
jest nadzieja: 10 dostanie
SWAT wnet wjecej radium
cennego niezwykle i majace-
go rozlegta przysz}osc zw}a-
SEGA W medycynie.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1895-1919, 1910-12-01
Z NV PoLsKIt,H
" AMERYtE al, |. !'']|'' {. E

BUFFAIO, N. Z. Ma
Broadway j. b!oku pomiedzy
Leopere q Volt 7, ave-, mis1a
miejsce strgelallina bohatera-
mi ktorej IA Pola:y. Postrze-
5loay zostaN 2.35-letlii Walenty
Skibinsh mm. pm. 70 So
bieski ul., przez Franciszka
K'ruszyn 21-1etniego
zam. pm. 46 Young ay. =. Kru-
szyhski. wypali1 z neWolweru
trzy razy, Hdna ku!a traf Ia
kiibiidski % " prawa noge,
powyzej Iolara j przecie}a
gi6wna arterYe sOfiara pael}a
.na bruk a kryw t,ysneia jak
z fontanny.I Pa '';a szczeSciie INA
la>l sic zarah na mhjscu wy
padlzu Dr.. ) Kavinsky j ten
zsbrawsyy Hanneggo do swego
.ofisu ,,dzieail mu pierwszej:
romocy Gdyby lie to:sski-..
kihski Nv zpieciu smiputach
musia1bY byl umrzec 2 u
plywu krwi Odgacsy strza]6w
zwabi1y liezne t1umy. Rewol-
MeraAaicz zystawszy WI
docZnie q zanleszanIa zdo-.
@af zbiedz j do tel pory go
nie ujeto.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1895-1919, 1910-12-01

stronie stane}o sporo zprzeciw-
nik6w Redmonda. w og6l-
nej biiatyce oko1o 80 os6b
zostafo porapionych! Urza
dzono tez uroczyste zebranie
pDWitallie ma cztsc DeVlina
kt6ry ostatnio powr6cil 2 A
meryki gdzie zbierat fundu--
sze ma popieranie sprawy ir-
landzkiej W OjczYznie - po-
dobno ze znacznyn sukce-
sem. = w Londynie kampa-
MIA wyborcza W ca1ej pelni:
co dnia odbywa sic caly
szereg zebrah ma kt6rych
.przemawiaja najw,b bitniejsze
osobisto6cii, s:ojace u steru
Anglii. !:
GNIEZNO, % listopada.
Biskupem .sufragauen1 arehi.. :.
dyecezyi tutejszej zostaf "a
kanonik kapitu}ymi. i.auovany
KS. DR. KIOske
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1895-1919, 1910-12-01

TUkA Rosya, 28 listopa-
da. = Odby1 sic " Jasnej
Polanie, posiadIosci rodziny
To1stoj6w pogrzeb Tofstoja
przy olbrzymim zjezdzie wy
bitnych osob;sto6ci, delega- :
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1895-1919, 1910-12-01

RZYM, 28 listopada. Od-
bywaja sic tn przy gotowania
do konsystorza kt6ry ma sic
:odby6 " lutym ohr6 mia1 sic
:odbyt==w mit siacu bieza cym.
Powodem zw1oki ma bye
nienregulowanY =; stosunek
Aatykanu z Portngalia. IA
:mocy Ronko ordat Fm kra-
jem patryarcha Lizbony sto-
licv Portugalii: mialby zos-
ta6-kardy ynalBm, Wiec pos.
tanOWiono 40 nsystorz odlo-
rye by owo mianoWanie ME
bylo tax rych}o po rewolucYii
j antvreggijnych Wystapie-
mach r2aau republican,
skiego.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1895-1919, 1910-12-01

LONDYN, % listopada.
W srode o godzinie 8ej IRA
ma powieszono dentyste a.
merykahskiego dra Grippe
ma; skazanego ma smierc "a
zab6jstwo zony Belli Elmo
res. Criprena odwiedza1a do
ostetnich chwil kochanka je.
90 Ethel Leneve kt6ra od-
tezdza do Am5ryki. Cripp en
do why ME przyzna1 sic; dc
ostatnich chwil zachowai spo
k6j, mial sen i apetyt dosko-
na}y.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1895-1919, 1910-12-01

DETROIT. Mich. Ambu
lans Detroit W tych dniach
uderzy1 Kazimiere Strzyzsw-
ska, liczaca 8 lat, i powaln
ia ma ziemie. Or. Weiten ber-
ger oswiadczy1 ze dziewczyn-
ka ulegfa obrazeniom view
.netrznym. A zarazem mbu- :
lans zawi6I do szpitala Maryi
Fanny niejakiego Kingstona
kt6rego poraniono W b6jce.
w tartaku nalezacym do
Augusta j. Gostica poni6sl
smierG niejaki StaDisiaw Zy
Ia. Zosta1 zabityn przez pas.
Przypadkowo wpadt pas M
kolo on zas dosta1 sic pod
n:iego j wskutek tego s'racn
zycie: By7 zonatym: pozosta-
viii rodzine. W wymieDionym
tartaku pracowal 3 miesie-
cy. Podobno zaplatal mu sic
W pas surdut wtedy ko1o go
Ipochwycilo j zanios}o pod
sam suit, a tam uderzy} sic
tax SLIME, ze uleg1 E,eknieciu
tczaszki j zfannaniu karku.
Widzac to drugi zatrzymal
maszyne j ten spaH na po-
id1ogei wkr6tce zakohczYl ~
Gle. Zawezwano ksiedza, kt6-
sry udziell mn ostatnich sa-
krament6W swietych j potam
'zasna1 Bnem sprawiiedlli dlliwego.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1895-1919, 1910-12-01

tANntOLybO oEOOACWO ADSSASS
wadzi koroner Rothacber.
CLEVELAND, @. Me wiie-
rzy1a wracajacym W progi ro-
dzinne przyjaciolom, il maz
|jej porzucii ja z dzie6mi ma
zawsze i zyje z inna kobieta
ma wiare przy Berg ulicy "
naszem 1piescie, Maryanna
Ziema6ska z Galicyi "a ostat-
nj grosz odby1a z dwojgiem
dzieci dluga podr6z j szcze-
sliwie stanela W domu swe-
go od lat pieciu ii riewidziane.
go meza. Tu spotka1o ja roz-
czarowanie. Zasta1a w miesz-
kaniu swego meza kobiete
sobie nieznana. Kwes5ono-
wany W tej sprawie maj maj
nikczemniej sk3ama1 ze po
smierci meza, W imie przy-
jaznj ]osem wdowy sic zao-
pjckowa}. Wiecz6r ,spedzono
ma mi}ej pogadance, dMeci
ME mog1y sic nacieszyc WI
dokiem ojca, kt6rego sobie
przypomina}y. Nazajutrz, po-
wiernica Ziemiahskiego ppu-
:5cila 4dom.a a MIA rD ,sazyl
niewierny 6lnbnej swej ionic
malzonek j wyrodny ojciec.
Pozostawiona z ma1oletnienai
dziecmi bez srodk6w do zy-
cia Zienianska znalaz1a przy-
tulek u zyczliwych ludzi i
cbwilowa prace przy czYsz-
czeniu blur W gmachach "
sr6dmiesciu. Niesta1a praca
a z MIA brak 6rodk6w do ~.
cia zmusi1y nieszczesliwa ko-
biete szukac wsparcia Cd
miejskiego wydzia1u. W}adze
dowiedziawszy sic 70 ca1ej
sprawie, uznajqc nieszcze6li-
wa "a cjezar dla spolecze1-
stwa, skazafy ia ma deporta-
eye biedna kobiete z dziee-
mi na koszt rzadu odes1ano
do Nowego Yorku, skad mai
pierwszym okrete1n wyjedzie
nazad do kraju. 0 niewier-
nym ma1zpnku i jego ko-:
chance AMI sladu.
Do sk1adu jubilerskiego p.
Paw1owskiego przy Forman
ul- wszeM ME-, many W oko-
icy me5czyzna j 2azadal o.
kazania sobie kilku instiu-
ment6w muzycznych. Gdy
subjekt 0 iwrocif sic, abys do
bye kornet, nieznajomy po-
chwycif harmonic j schowal
pod patio. Obiecujac nieba-
wem w,6cie, s:ybko Wlozy1
na glove kaps1usz q druga
reka pochwycn antabe sdrzwi.
w roztargnieniu nacisna1
klawisz 7ukrytego instrumen.
tn. Dal sic s]yszeG CLOS skra-
dzionej harmonii, wybieg1
subjekt 2 "a kantora a z1o-
dziej W Dogi. T1um ludzi po-
cza go scigaE, pochWyci1 i
odda4 " rece p. Paw}oWski e
mu, kt6ry z1odzieja odGaf "
Jece policjanta. Areeztowany
poC1a} swe nazWisko isko
George Sherbes.
AKRAN, O. Wiktor Ku-
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1895-1919, 1910-12-01

LONDYN, % listop ada, -
,,London's News ogtasza dru-
gi list Crippena, pisa any do
Clary Ieneve., W kt6rym
Crippen raz jeszcze zapewnia
10 go posadzono i skazano
nlewinnie! Wyraza tez nadzie
je, ze jego njewinnosc wnet
ma jaw wyjdzie. 80.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1895-1919, 1910-12-01
PETERSBURG, % ]istopa-



da. - Hr. Tolstoiowa, iona
zmar1ego niedawno .pisarza
rosyjskiego clezko zaniemog-
la; zgon 1neza, a przedtem
jeszcze opuszczenie przeze6
domu rodzinnego wstrzasne-
}y ia tax, ze zvciu jej grozi
nlebezpieczehstwo; otwarto
testament To}stoja, z kt6rego
sic okazuje, re zmarfy zapi-
sal c6rce ,Aleksandrze pra-
wa i dochody 70 swoich ME
og}eszonych dotad dziet.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1895-1919, 1910-12-01
RZYM, % listopada.

RZYM, % listopada.
Burmistrz miasta, Nathan,
ostawiony z. napascj ma Kos
ci6t katolicki zyd mason skar-
zy1 sic W movie wyg}oszo.
nej W Radzie miejskiej ze
szagraniczn = zwfaszcza a.
merykahscy hotefiis5cii pre-
sadne wirsci rozszerzaia 0
rozmiarach cholery we WHO
szech aby size. >. przysluzyc
kleryka}oln os1a bic sukces
og1oszonych ma rok przysz1y
uroczysto6ci W Rzymie po
wodu og}oszenia go stolica
W}och zjednoczonych ~.
Nathan zaznaczyl, re wypad-
k6w cholery by1o W RzYrnie
mniej n:iz W innych stoli :
each europejskioh.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1895-1919, 1910-12-01

AKRAN, o. Wiktor Ku-
lesza 41 lat Wieku, sosta1 "
fabryce poparzony tax, ze po
1870 godzinnych eierpielliach
zmaIl.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1895-1919, 1910-12-01

: RZYM, % listopada. Or
gan watykahski ,,Osservstore
Romano brold wyrazenia
sic cesarZa Nilhelma o,.,w}a-
.dzy z Bozej }aski" o ten,
re .,Kosci61 i tron powinny
wsp61dzia}ac dla dobra lu-
dow. W jmie przykazanej
Cd Boga czci ola w}adzy pc
winnosci pos1us2enstwa jej
= sfowa cesarza 2aWieraja
prawde, chodzi tylko o to-,
aby wladza ia i wladcy pos.
tepowali istotnie po Bozemu
i dzialali jak pos}annicy j "a
stepcy Boga na zjemi. TAX
w1asnie postepuje Kosci61
katolicki, w}adza jego popie-
rajaca zawsze chrzescijan-
skich sprawiedliwych w}ad-
COW.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1895-1919, 1910-12-01

~ 1{oAhXAo 5hlu P4 4oo' ~
miast o tenn powis domif po'
licye kt6ra Gajewshie go a.
[resztowala.i znalaz]a prgy MIN
$19. w sadzie policyjnym Ga
jewski ME chcia1 sic przyz<
nae do kradzrzy j ME powie
dzia} gdzie stracif reszte pie
sniedxy.
Sedzia skaza1 go ma rok
domu poprawy.
BAY CITY, Mich. w ca}ym
Stanie pop1och powodu os~
ply, W Bay City jeszcze do
tad ME wybuc!,1a ospa j VIA
DE poczyni}y wszelkie kro~
XII ostrozno6ci, aby jej wybu-
chowi zapobiedz. Gdyby mia
la W k16rym domu wybnch, i,
nae, trzeba natycfr1niast do
l,it Sc departa mentowi zdro-
wotnosci. w Saginaw, Lapeer
/ innycb mjastach grasuje je-
szcze osra zbiera ]iczne O.
fiary codziennie.
. Stanis}aw Strzepiak, SYN
k4arz, oskarzoay O trzymaDie
-wysxynku otWartego W ME
.dziele, stawaf W sadzie poll
cyjnym. Zrzekf sic przes}u-
chow j zazadyh prQcesu W
'wyzszym sadzie.
Wawrzyniec Wasiele wski
wy!oczyl process swemu sy-
nowi Marcinowi Wasielew-
skiemu W sadie obwodowym
aby 60 Emusic do zwr6cenia
mu tytu4u do kawa}ks grun-
tn, kt6ry Cd niego W spos6b
nieuczciwv dosta1. Skorzy~
sta1 z tego, re ojciec jest anal
fabeta j po angielsk.u nawet
slowa ME rozumie. Wasielew-
ski powiada, ze W 1900 roku
Cd syna pozyczyl $500 pod
pisa1 jaki6 papier, kt6ry mia1
bye hipoteka, lecz potem sic
dowiedzia1, re -by} to papier
nadajacy 4synowi tytu} w4as~.
nesci "a $7O2. Ojciec zada,
ZeDy 6aQ "a ZWTOLeu pow
uniewazni1 ten document.
skarzaey liczy 73 lata.
PoIicyanta Jana Slazihskie.
go skarzv niejaki Earl Bah.
cock O $1OO odszkodowania
"a falszywe aresztowania bez.
powodu. Skarzacy zazada1
prccesu pred przysieg}ymi j
GAIA sprawe odroczonG na
tydzieh.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1910-04-29
kuRIos FROM koRREsPoNpEMrs

q WIN ,nu ulrosc tell mo how 10
foil thc r,udrr from the auu.ry
A. The gaudcr f.. larger. his head Is
coorscr mud he has n..puralm,, voice
while thr female ma.rs hparsc sounds
Turu dor into the ward and the
pnrdcr viii hiss and chase him.
@ The rrnuud n INV pnulIry ward
is rnuI; How cam ra If sweet
ngniny
A. Cover IN, tom win afr slakcl
lime, let # lea day. then rp.dr under
and sow , oui,, ,,r,v,l... ,r.p
O. notice ylul.. wheat I'm Ihr drop
pInrs Of IN, fowls. T. This r.ual. or
ia II a diyr,s.. and .l.,v.,.Iu I .irn ~
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1910-09-02
oivinlnu Rod 200 Years Old.

Winslow w. Fffeld of Medford,
Mass, owns a metallic divining rod
brought from England more than two
hundred years ago by one of his an
cestors. The rod, says Mr. Fifield, has
been used successfully all over New
England and in the western mining
districts. 1t is attached to whalebone
handles IL inches long and weighs two
ounces. The handles have inscriptions
on them which are almost obliterated
by age. }
The person who brought the rod to
America was Isaac Greenleaf, who set
tied in Massachusetts. The rod became
famous as finder of water. After
marking the place of many springs the
rod was used in California, Colorado
and North Carolina for locating by men
in quest Of gold mines and other met
ais. One person who used 1t with par
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1910-09-02
MUST HAVE BEST MACHINE
woman Greatly Wrought by Glowing
Accounts Given by Different
Persistent Agents.

Lock here, SIR she said, as she
entered a sewing-machine Office the
other day, your agent has imposed
upon me-"
rs it possible, ma'am? In what re.
spect?"
Yes, sir, he has; and I don't want
your machine!"
How has he deceived your"
Why, he came into my house and
told me that your machine was the
best In the world. / have witnesses,
and can prove every word of it."
But that was not deceiving you,]
ma am
Yes, it was! / hadn't the machines
Two Gays before another agent called
and said his was the best; and he had
circular to back it up He had
hardly got out of doors when another
called and said his machine had taken
ten medals"
But We have taken fifteen, ma'am. %
"Oh, have your"
And we have issued challenge for
a public trial, which no other machine
dare accept"
rs that SO? Then your machine is
the best. after all?"
Certainly
Then you will please excuse me. Z
thought | had been imposed upon, and
I'm afraid | was little hasty. The
other agents must have been the de-
ceivers."
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1910-09-02
The Counterfeit southerner.

Of course. there are many counter
feits. A most amusing imitation is
one that often passes for the typical
southerner in New York. This satchel-
mouthed braggart infests the cafes
and demands attention by his abusing
the waiter for offending his delicate
sense of honor. Il hate niger, sub,
he loudly proclaims. which is senti-
ment that one never hears from those
to the manner born. He haunts the
theaters and parades the streets, since
it is poor fun to practise his gentility
in private.
He wears a wide black hat, mounts
the table and yells whenever the band
plays southern melody. Such pre-
tentious caricature would be harmless
enough, but for the ,ridicule he brings
upon the south. Unfortunately, popu-
lar authors seem to accept him at face
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1910-09-02
cOURTSHIP OF A DEAF MAN
Wonders Why Mabel Lowered Gas
Whether to Encourage or Stop
His Fingered Proposal.

The Deaf Times prints story of
two men who were seen talking on
their hands on the top of an omnibus.
Their conversation ran thus:
Il want your advice
81 shall be happy to oblige you"
We'll, you know, I'm in love with
Mabel At last l made up my mind
to propose to her. Last night l made
the attempt"
And she refused your"
That is what l am coming to. I
don't know whether she did or not.
You see, | was somewhat embar-
raised, and the words seemed to stick
on my hands. And there she sat, as
demure as a dove. Finally my fingers
stuck together, and l could not say a
word. Then Mabel got up and lowered
the gas"
"WeI?"
We'll what is bothering me is this:
why did Mabel lower the gas-to en-
courage me and relieve my embarrass-
ment, or so that she could not see the
talk and so stop my proposal?"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1910-09-02
KS IT APPEARED TO HER
Mrs. Oelrichs Evidently Didn't Think
Much of Mr.. Banks Earning
Capacity.

Mrs Herman Oelrichs, the best
dressed woman in Newport, criticized
very pertinently, at a recent dinner,
the new dinner gowns of Paquin and
Cabot
These clinging and flmy gowns are
chiefly remarkable for the V-shaped
back that they possess. The VT is
incredible, but it Is true-opens all the
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1910-09-02

way down to the waist line. At gala
performance in Paris given by the
Metropolitan Opera company of New
York-the most successful perform
ance Paris ever saw, and one whereat
$4,000 was gained for the Pluviose
Vietims-many of the beautiful Ameri-
cans in the $40 orchestra seats wore
these daring gowns, and now at New
port they are often to be seen.
Mrs Oelrichs stared at one with as
founded eyes at a dinner, and ner
neighbor said:
Isn't that new gown of Mrs. Blanks
a dream? Old Mr.. Blank Is so de-
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1910-09-02
Wasted Sarcasm.

The Philadelphia milk dealers who
recently raised the price of their
product to nine cents quart and then
lowered 1t again to eight appear to
have been the subjects of great deal
of unjust censure. They announced
at the time of the raise that milk
could not be sold at eight cents with
out loss. Finding that the consumers
would not pay the new price, however,
they are continuing to sell at the old.
thereby qualifying as genuine philan-
thropists. Every purchaser of milk
at eight cents quart will doubtless
hereafter feel that he is an object Of
charity. "
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1910-09-02
A Strono Preacher.

The minister's eight-year-old daugh-
ter was returning with her parents
from church, where the district super
intendent had that morning occupied
the pulpit.
"Oh, father" asked the little girl.
her face alive with enthusiasm. don't
you think Brother G. is very strong
preacher? l do"
Gratified by this evidence Of un-
usual intelligence on the part of his
offspring, the minister eagerly in
Quired into her reasons for her state
ment.
"Oh," replied the little miss, artless-
ly, didn't you see how the dust rose
when he stamped his feet ?"-Judge.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1910-09-02
deep as that. and so on.

deep as that, and so on.
The mission was looking hopeless
when suddenly she darted from the
shop and seized a passing gentleman
by the hand.
will you please come into this shop
with me?" she asked iAnocently.
Certainly. my chickabiddy," he re-
piled, IF l can be of any USE What
is it?"
The little girl replied not, but led
the wondering stranger to the counter.
There, miss" she said, triumphant
ly. Mother wants some ribbon the
color of this gentleman's nose"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1910-09-02
Practical Matching.

What the little girl with the Is cents
in pennies wanted was some red rib
bon of particular shade for her moth
couldn't explain it and all she could
say was, it wasn't that. no, nor that;
it was ceeper than that, and not so
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1910-09-02
BRIGHT M an,

Parlins Ga sident)-That man we
just passed is the one that made this
town famous by an axiom he uttered
during an after-dinner speech.
Titcomb Ga stranger)-Is that SO?
What was the axiom?
Parlins-"A lie in the heart of a
conscientious man is like a boiled
cabbage dinner in the stomach of a
dyspeptic."
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1910-09-02
UnanSWerable.

Ethel had been visiting at neigh.
boris
Il hope you didn't take a. second
piece Of cake, Ethel?" said her mother.
Yes, | did, mother" replied the
child You told me never to contra
dict and the lady said I know you'll
have another piece of cake so what
could | -Yonkers Statesman.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1910-09-02

voted. They say that everything he
makes goes on his wife's back"
Mrs. Oelrichs, her eye fixed on the
COWS terrible V. said with smile:
Well. he must be making very lit
tie, then"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1910-09-02
In the Hospital.

First Patient-Do you know who
that visitor is who came in here a
while ago? She was a very distin-
guished-looking woman.
Second Patient was struck by
her, too, and l asked the nurse, but
she told me the visitor was very
ordinary sort of person-had never
had an operation for appendicitis
even.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1910-09-02
The Usual Way.

GLADYS has Tilted young Jorkins,
yet when they were first engaged she
used to say he was the star of her ex-
istence."
Does he carry a pistol?"
Il don't know Why?"
Because if he does Gladys had bet
Ter look out that he doesn't prove to
be a shooting star"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1910-09-02
Handle ed.

=. les, said the man from ST. Louis,
am very fond of green peas, but
can't eat them"
why not?' queried the Chicago
nd. --a1 who was dining at the same
because, explained the other, 81
'"n keep EN- on my knife"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1910-09-02
LOOKING for Rarnains

h., 'I'sAce-A municipal drug store
Ias been established in St Peters.
s s1sS, where things are supplied at
Nv oIOu' 20 per cent. less than in the
other pharmacies.
.s.1 @'-ee--l wish they'd have such
eto o-sS IN THIS country, I'd buy all my
'@1'QS there.-Yonkers Statesman
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1910-09-02
His Eve for Business

Ashley-I see that Lawyer Black
will accept no client who is not a
merchant tailor.
, Scymour-Isn't that a rather strange
procedure?
Ashley-Not in reality. Black claims
he gets the most business from mer-
chant taiors because they have new
suits to try every day.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1910-09-02
Come Across

DO these Englishmen understand
American slang?"
Some Of them do. Why?"
N! daughter is to be married in
no-oon and the duke has just cabled
ne to come across"
'Weu?"
Does ne want me or my wad?"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1910-09-02
No cause for Complaint.

Customer ordered a gallon of
Irish whisky last week, and l find that
what YOU sent me was made in New
York.
DeaIer-Well, l don't see where you
have any kick coming. Isn't New York
Irish enough to suit you?
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1910-09-02
Only Way.

First Legislator-lsn't there any
thing we can do to stop the use Of
cigarettes?
Second Legislator-Wel, we might
pass law compelling the makers to-
give the picture of a user with each
pack.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1910-09-02
Yellow.

Friend-I suppose there is a great
deal of money in contributing to the
leading magazines?
Authorizes, but there's great
deal more in contributing to the mis-
leading ones.-Puck.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1910-09-02

value and exploit him in novels or
plays where ''southerner" is nee
essary part of the stage machinery
Everybody's Magazine.