davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02
Arouch Of Family Life.

When the country youth proposed
to the city girl, he received the con-
ventional assurance that she would be
his sister. 1t happened that this youth
had sisters at home and knew exactly
his privileges. So he kissed her. At
this tuncture she awaited herself of
the sisterly right to call out to father
that brother was teasing her. Father
responded in good, muscular earnest,
Then the new brother-and-sister rela.
ton was dissolved by mutual consent.
Judge.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02
He Must Have Been Married.

Correspondence School Agent-"But
our system requires only one hours
work at home each day"
Prospective Student-"Yes; but you
don't understand what an hours work
at my home means" Punch.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

Why is it that American women submit
to the foolish dictates of fashion from Eu-
ropean countries? For instance, the 'ehob-
BILE skirt Is it possible that American
women are unaware that by submitting to
these foolish foreign fashions they make
themselves ridiculous in the eyes Of intelli-
gent men?
Why, some hats come down to cover a
big part of the face!
How perfectly ridiculous
Have American women no taste in mat
ters of dress2 Is it necessary to import
our ideas from France?
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02
In Pastures New.

The receiving teller was examining
with a magnifying glass, suspicious
looking bill that just came In.
Il wonder what that fellow is try
ing to do?" said one microbe on the
pill.
Don't be alarmed" said an old
microbe; hes probably only one of
those comic bug artists hunting for
new subjects"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

At a state fair out west not long since a
scientist in the employ of the state sanitary
board slaughtered several head of cows af-
fected with tuberculosis before large au-
dience, mostly composed of farmers
The animals, after being killed and
dressed, were lifted by block and tackle to a
platform SO that the crowd could see
whether the doctors were right in their
diagnosis
While the slaughtering was going on
there was a good bit of murmuring on the
part of some of the spectators, and it was
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02
lila onanaa.

What is your charge against the de-
fendant?" asks the magistrate of the
complainant.
He stole the words of a popular
song wrote"
Sing the song" orders the magis-
trate.
The witness starts. but Is interrupt
ed at the second chorus:
That'n do. I'll commit the defend
ant for insanity"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02
Too Bad.

He-'T never can remember what
this plant is called CONSIDERABLY
Oh, sarsaparilla."
She-"Alois, you really shouldn't
use such bad words when things don't
come to you quite readily"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02
He Deserved II,

NO" said the Roman conqueror to
the court fool of the defeated king.
7 will not chain you to my chariot
wheels"
Thank you, your majesty" says
the court fool. Il have always heard
that you were chariotable."
For this the Roman conqueror com
pels the court fool to enter a pie eat
ing contest in the coliseum.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02
WILLING to obIlqe.

81 understand that you've been
boasting at the club that you are en-
gagged to me. You are the last to
whom | would give that honori"
20, very well, very WE'LL I'll wait
my turn!"-Le Sourire.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02
Knew What He Was orderIno.

Order Clerk lin large wholesale
drug house-"There must be some
mistake in this order"
The Boss-"In what way?"
Order Clerk-"Druggist wants four
barrels of arnica and laudanum."
The Boss-"Oh, that's all right. He's
located In a college town"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

In a couple of noted cases It has
been resolved to debar from society
The persons who have figured in scan
dals. This is the one effective way OF
reaching such offenders. Social os.
kracism can be used where the law
and the church fail to punish. for 1t
is weapon whost attack few can
withstand no matter how strongly
they meet other methods of punish
ment for moral wrongdoing.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02
How's ThisP

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for any
ease of Catarrh that cannot be cured by Halls
CAtarrh Cure.
F.. CHENEY q CO.. Toledo o.
We the undersigned. have known F. ]. Cheney
for the is years. and believe him perfectly hon
orable in all business transactions and financially
able 10 carry out any obligations made by his hrm
WALDING. KINNAN 4 MARVIN.
Wholesale Druggists Toledo. o.
Halls Catarrh Cure Is taken internally, acting
directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the
system Testimonials sent free. Price rs cents peg
bottle. Sold by all Druggists.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02


- every living thing lives peril; and where the peril
that this "ower of Sloan" falls with
out distinction and DID, just and unjust valuable worthless
lives Or when the falls ourselves those
whom love a love ourselves
Now and then something happens in the world rid of OF
these these Indifferent agents death misery and
breathe freely
For example, malaria and yellow fever growing daily less terrible
and whole countries which that tower always shook and often fell
freeing themselves death that slew Unfortunately knowingly
unusy At least this is what Of when it smes them
tender place.
Before the ck death" other powers destroyed and have far
forgotten them to be that they magni
tude RAIN hail.
They lurking and dreadful powers against which it of little
fight when their strength really forth When floods the
river drift mems treasures and often the themselves
Hard winters with havoc such the k DEATH wrought
the later days And for Antpos of Phecanhropo of the
forces of nature bore at times sb in fact they bore with far
severity him than his animal cousins he indeed
of the easily injured animals Sloan fell upon
him everywhere.
These things drove him defense and by degrees he learned guard
against their worst results He learned to build with rocks and
trunks of trees He developed his and lake dwellings into
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02
Clock was Fact.

The electric ventilating fan ON the
wall of the restaurant was whizzing
round. A gentleman who had dined
extremely well sat looking at it for
come time. Waiter" he complained
at last. that clocks fast"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02
What's the Use.

Nervous Passenger during fog)-
But surely you're not leaving the
bridge, are you officer?"
officer (who has just been relieved)
-"Oh, yes. It's no good stopping up
there; you can't see anything
punch
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

That incident in Naples where two
strangers trying to give candy to chill
dren were suspected by the panic
stricken people of spreading the chol-
era and mobbed with cries of Death
to the prisoners" shows how little
progress has been made since the days
Of the plague. in some places.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

brought on my
kidney trouble. ]
was confined to
bed for days and
the pain through
my back and
limbs was the
worst I ever expe.
rienced. The kid
ney secretions
were profuse, fill
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02
Naturally.

YES" she murmured, Il did love
him. He was not worthy, but felt l
couldn't give him up. So my parents
took me across the ocean"
"And them"
"Then, gave up everything"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02
UnappetlxIna.-

1t was sometime after they had
moved out of Eden.
Eve was repeating her opinion Of
what might have been IL Adam had
not developed such an appetite for
apples and then blamed everything on
her.
TO-" growled Adam, I'm getting
mighty tired of this eternal apple
sauce!"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02
Protect
People
From
Poison ivy
Menace
By R. G. dunno

along ppng wiped their bows and necs with their hand
with their hands their
from the effects the
ivy.
many people had like experience?
who happened be victim of this poison
his thinking he called DOCTOR
told him he poison-ivy victim
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

Chicago man marries for the frst
time at the age Of ninety-two. He'll
have to do some tall hustling to catch
up with the average Chicago record
from now on.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

A Connecticut man fired ten bullets
in his head without fatal results. It
ls hard to tell which was greater
The persisting force of his determine
ton or the resisting quality of his
brains.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

That Poughkeepsie society woman
whose pearl necklace was conflscated
by the customs officials might have
had 1t yet II she could only have kept
It under her hat.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

It may be none of our business. but
we trust that the sororities will deal
gently with the eighty-one-year-oid
woman who has entered the Ohio
state university as a student.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

Bob Evans tells us that an airship
Is a plaything and would be Of no use
In war. But what will Bob do when
those bombs begin dropping down the
chimney?
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

The greatest authority on love in
the world is dead. Calm yourself, la
dies-it's an Italian professor. The
authoress' OF Poems of Passion" still
lives.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

A little while ago the cheering
word was passed that Holsters would
become more plentiful. Now It is
threatened that there will be a short
age of salmon and sardines.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

AS a general thing when a girl
wears such an extreme hat that man
has to dislocate his neck to look I'M
der it her face is not worth the effort.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

Venezuela consumes 100000 gal
lone of kerosene a year" Why doesn't
somebody start an electric light plant
down there?
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

A Kansas City woman. suing for d.
vorce. charged that her husband quar-.
relied with her for going to funeral
Some men are so mean they hate their
wives to have any pleasure at all.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

The walters now ask to be divided
into classes. Excellent idea! Walters
who wait, walters who make custom
ers wait, walters who are polite and
walters who are otherwise?
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02
Fitted for IN. MAIL.

What an odd picture to be printed
by Bedobber, the famous marine art
ist?,'
%. don't know. 1t is cataloxued
as "A Little Smack"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

A woman of sixty years swan 1--WE
miles In the Mississippi river at st.
Louis the other day. 1t is needless to
say that she did not wear a hobble
skirt.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

Joy riding in the air has this advan-
tage-there are no chickens to be run
over. The birds have SO far succeed
ed IN lodging.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

In South Norwalk, Conn. lives a
heroic young woman who played ten
mis- in a hobble skirt. Naturally she
broke her leg.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

Eighty-two pounds of sugar for
every man. woman and child last
year! The men may offer thanks
that the women and children got
theirs.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

When the aeropIanes dash around
the course at the rate of mile min
ute they never kick up any clouds OF
microbe-laden dust
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

He-"Concerning love, everything
possible has been said and thought"
She (coyly)-"But not to me-
Fliegende Batter.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

The doctor who thinks that the
Adams apple is responsible for insan-
ity may be on the eve Of great dis
covery.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

II shark meat ever crowds beef in
the worlds markets a shortage of rain
on the great plains will make no diff
ference in the quality.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

Are the auto races trying to make
bull fights appear humane3
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02
Its Advantages.

There is one appropriate use Of a
good poker hand"
What is that?"
at will shovel in the money"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

ed with blood and burned terribly. !
became weak and debilitated. Soon aft
or began taking Doan's Kidney Pills.
I improved and 1t was not long before
I was a well man.
Remember the name-Doan's.
For sale by all dealers. 30 cents a
box Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

A Buffalo man was given five years
for stealing cent Something OF
centence, that.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02
His snecIaltv.

ST hear that author friend of yours
is making fine living by his pen"
Yes. He's stopped writing and
gone to raising pigs"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02
Vigorous
Protest So
Against
Imported
Fashions

By C. EDWARD LIND

The eoons threw overheard the tea from King George
Why don't their throw out the foolish feakish
from France?
These imported fashions eyesores to sensible dressers
The hante idea responsible for the wholesale slaughter of the
finest birds
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

pest and food. He made clothing, he made weapons
and tools, he made boats he baked bread and stored
meat One by the towers lost some part of their
One by he converted natural things to
his USE those which had formerly been peril
for him. This process Of his conquest passed on
into present process; and conquering STILL
exactly in the fashion.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

That war in Nicaragua cost 1000
lives. Men have not yet discarded
the blood-letting system in politics.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

A New York man ate 365 steamed
slams. Why don't the clam conserv-
ers get after this sort of experts?
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

Someone has estimated that the
earth weighs seven trillion tons. But
cheer up! You're not carrying 1t.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

So far none of our aviators has been
successful enough to break into vaude-
Vile.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

Let us have only denatured automo-
bile races.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

New York bank thief collapsed when
he was arrested. He was a close sec
ond to the bank.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

All the pessimist can see in an aero
plan fight is a big crowd and a stin
neck
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02
EXPOSURE BROUGHT 1T ON.
Thousands Of Soldiers Contracted
Kidney Trouble in the Civil War.

John T. Jones, Pauls Valley, Okla,
says: THE hardships and exposure ]
endured in the Civil War and when
serving as a scout under Bill Cody,
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02
In the Grand Stand.

Stella-Do you understand base
ball?"
Bella-Perfectly; but why does that
man run SO hard with nobody after
him?
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02
ache

@My father has been sufferer from sick
headache for the last twenty-five years and
never found any relief until he began
taking your Cascarets. Since he has
begun taking Cascarets he has never had
the headache. They have entirely cured
him. cascarets do what you recommend
them to do. I win give you the privilege
Of. using HE name. sc. M. Dickson.
1I2o ResineE S.. w. Indianapolis, Ind.
Pleasant. Pslatahie. Potent, Taste Good. 2
Do Good. Never Sicken1 WEAKEN or Gri.&
10c. $50, S0c. Newer sold Ia bulk. The go
uine tablet stamped c C C. GuaranI&e6 -
cure OF your mopsy back. ~;
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

The new IS bills will be smaller.
That's apprOpriate-they act smaller.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

Still, at Its new price, radium vii
hardly be a substitute for coal
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02

Connecticut woman earned $4,000
last year selling eggs-the real thing
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02
Sloan
Towers
Gradually Losing
Some Part of
Menace
BY WILLIAM SCOTT PALMER

ROVIDENCE and prudence" said Swedenborg act one
earthquakes and volcanoes wrecked ships innocent
suffering while the guilty prosper microscopic parasites
Staying their thousands and mosquitoes dangerous than
quckfng guns Disease PAIN misery and the incidence of
death, working by grim law which morally Indifferent
chance out of all connection with love with justice
My heart ckens my minds eye surveys the world where
every living thing lives in peril and where the peril
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1910-12-02
Mass Play Modified.

Mass Play Modified.
City Editor-Any radical changes
for the better In football this season?
Sporting Writer-Verily. In under
stand that not more than one ticket
Spectator will be allowed to tackle
single patron at the same time
Puck
Omaha daily bee., 1910-02-27
TIMES SQUARE AUTOMOBILE CO.,
1701-1703 Main st., Kansas City, Mo.

LARGEST DEALERS IN THE WORLD
IN NEW AND SECOND HAND AUTO
MOBILES. We take pleasure in announc-
Ing that we are now having bull. to our
own specification the 1910 LIBERTY au-
tomobile, four cylinder 1916 h. D. over
head valves, selective type transmission,
three speeds forward and reverse. shaft
drive. 110-inch wheel base, 36-inch wheels
-Remy high tension magnetic. Close
coupled or touring body optional. Price
S1,75O.00 +. o. b. Chicago. The design,
Workmanship and finish OF this car is in
the $2,5O0.00 class. For all around tour
ing condition IT is unsurpassed by any
thing on the market. We want an agent
In this town. If you are a live one write
at once for our proposition, which in
cludes a liberal commission
We also carry an immense stock of
slightly used and rebuilt cars of ali makes
and sizes at prices from S175.00 up, full
details of which will be found In the
TIMES SQUARE BULLETIN. sent free
anywhere.
In order to make room for our new cars
we offer a special discount OF $500 off
on any car in Bulletin or in our ad-
verttsements during the next two weeks,
provided you cut out this adj, and for
ward it with your order. BRANCHES
in New. York City, Philadelphia, st. Louis
and Chicago.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-02-27
Badger Sport
Has Prospects
of a New Head
Board of Regents Will Pick a Direc-
tor from Out of Three
Candidates.

MADISON, Wis, Feb. 26.-(Special)-
The athletic future of the University Of
Wisconsin,, which has been in a state of
Generalization for the last few years as a
result of the uncertainty which has ex-
listed in all departments. will be determined
on Tuesday, when the board of regents
meets to consider President Van Hise's
recommendations for a new athletic direc-
tor.
Since the resignation of DR.. Hutchins,
who came here four years ago from SYRIA
cuse, Coach Ten Eyck of the university
crews has been acting as director, but 1t
is understood that the president will name
a man for permanent director at the com
ing meeting. The president has been maxi
ing a thorough investigation of the quail
fications Of numerous applicants for the
position and It is quite likely that he will
have completed his talk in time for the
meeting.
Among those who have been mentioned
for the position are Coach Ten Eyck, Arne
Lerum, former star guard on Badger foot
ball teams in the halcyon days OF athletics
here and assistant foot ball coach last
season, and Billy Lush, who has been re-
markedly successful as basket ball and
base ball coach at Yale. Lush was recon-
mended by Coach Noyes Of the basket ball
team, who won a place on the All-Amer-
lean five under his tutelege. 1t is under
stood that in case the man appointed
makes good and shows his caliber he will
be given complete charge Of Badger ath-
letics and that ne will eventually take over
many of the functions now performed by
the university faculty.
Entry blanks nave been sent out to vari-
Gus colleges and universities in the west
for the fourth annual indoor relay carni-
val, which will be held March 10. The big
event OF the carnival will be the confer
ence championship relay race, in which II
is expected Wisconsin, Chicago and Illinois
will compete. Coach Lathrop OF the track
team has a large squad working at the
present time and has hopes Of a relay team
to equal hat OF last year. 1t is expected
that the team will be made up Of Rich
ards, Mitchell, Gnlett and schacht. The
first two were members Of the Philadel-
phia team last year; Gillett is a new man
who has shown great speed over the 40,
and Schacht was barely nosed out In the
trials for the team last year. There are
other fast men out at the present time
who may make a bid for places, but the
four named appear TO nave the best chance
OF landing places.
Base ball prospects were given a hard
rap when the results OF the examinations
we're made known. Only two men were put
out OF the running. but both places will
be hard TO flll. One is Mike" Tlmbers,
first sacker last year, who played one Of
the best games that has been seen around
the initial corner OF a Badger team since
the days OF Ware. Timber was a star
Omaha daily bee., 1910-02-27
TIGERS PREPARE FOR FOOT BALL
Large squad Appears for Practice at
Princeton.

PRINCETON, N. j., Feb. 2s.-More than
fifty mon reported at the gymnasium TO
William w. Roper 10 hear the plans for
spring foot ball training outlined. Practice
this spring will be more extensive than
heretofore. and from now on there will be
training on Monday. Wednesday and Fri
day Of each week. The work will consist
Of light exercise and cslisthenics in the
gymnasium, followed by cross-country
runs.
Just outside the Princeton gymnasium is
an excellent cr~oss-oountry course-the one
used by the intercollegiate cross-country
association for IT'S meet for three years.
Here. headed by Captain Eddie" Hart,
the Tiger foot ball aspirants will develop
their wine and powers Of endurance. As
soon as the ground is hard and dry there
will be punting practice.
With the services OF so eminent a trainer
as Kesne Fitzpatrick of Michigan and the
ability Of Roper. Princeton has high
hopes for its foot ball future. particularly
as Fitzpatrick viii do much for the track
athletes, too.