Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1910-03-18
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( VELVET 2l RAGS }
INDIVIDUAL oeihioN)
( BY LUE f. VERNON J
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( BY LUE f. VERNON -
If many Olympia women spent
less time looking in the face powder,
and more into the bread-box, they
would not be compelled to say to
their husband who has arrived home
for dinner. ravenously hungry. too,
and finds there isn't but one small,
thin piece of bread on the plate:
80, | forgot to look in the bread.
box, dear"
If some very religious men | know
of who are in business and doing
WELL and are considered saints in
the set of society they travel in"
were to tell where they obtained the
money, who gave it to them to start
their business with-well, "the school
boys tale, the wonder of an hour"
the nine days scandal amongst
members of the upper ten," would
look like q Canadian half-dime with
six holes in it.
Don't be crouch, you man with
plenty of money. You can't take
your money with you when you die.
wrote poem years ago. which went
the rounds of the press, and every
now and then | see it yet. 1t was
entitled, Life Is But q Game of
Cards" And so it is. It's a game
at every stage. A half-dollar some
times looks as big to a hungry man
as Mt. Rainier, and perhaps next
week the same man you give the
price Of a meal" to, will be in posi-
tion to give some other poor devil
dollar for the same purpose you
gave him the half. Don't think
every man who is broke is thief. a
blackguard. pimp, or o devil
4 4 r
Wonderful Clocks.
A writer in q recent number of 4
popular 1O-cent magazine tells few
stories of what he terms wonder
full clocks. He says he has been
gathering the articles for years.
He leads off with the following, which
he says he found in an old yellow
book, and declares that no Yankee"
has ever turned out anything in it's
line of mechanism: Here is the
story:
"a wonderful clock has just been
completed by a mechanic in Geneva,
named Droz. To be seen on it is an
African, a dog and shepherd.
When the clock struck the shepherd
played six tunes on his flute and the
dog approached and fawned upon
him. Tho clock was exhibited to
the King of Spain, who was delight
ed with it, The gentleness of my
dog, said Droz, is his least merit.
Jf your majesty touch one of the ap-
Piles which you see in the shepherd S
basket you will greatly admire the
fidelity of his animal. The King
took an apple and the dog flew at his
hand and barked so loud that the
Kings dog began 10 bark. AT this,
the cOurtiers, not doubling that the
clock was bewitched. hastily left the
room. crossing themselves as they
went. The Minister of Marine was
the only one who remained. The
King asked him to inquire of the
African the time of day. The min
ister obeyed, but received no re-
sponse. Droz then observed that
the African had not yet learned to
speak Spanish, whereas the question
was repeated in French, and the
African Immediately answered. At
this new prodigy the Minister of
Marine ran away, declaring the clock
was surely the work of witches" ="
Just to add to this writer's cOllec-
tiOn of clock stories. I will add two
assuring him that neither one are
taken from either an old yellow nor
red book, but from actual view
Also that Yankees" are up to
snuff at any and all things in me-
chanical articles, and especially in
the clock line.
The first clock story l shall rell is
one which was on exhibition at the
Worlds Fair, Chicago, and which /
gazei at more than once while in the
Windy City seeing the sights at the
fair.
The clock in question was manu-
factured by jewcler in Middlebury,
Vermont. and it acted out to perfec-
tion the assassination of President
Garfield.
The machine was q common cuckoo
clock, under which was a miniature
depot. At the window was q ticket
agent dealing out tickets, while at
another a telegraph operator was
seen, busily at his work, truckman.
porters, train dispatchers, etc, all
flying around as natural as life. All
these figures were made of wood,
about two inches long. At the end
of each hour the cuckoo announced
the fact, and Immediately Garfield
appeared on the platform on which