New-York tribune., 1910-06-05


trembe as they fade away to the sewing
room. Moreover, | am not sure that the
| American Husband has not always been
boss of his establishment; not the loud,
cart tail type of boss, but the silent, Calcu
| lating kind who works unseen. AS | shall
attempt to prove by the following page
from our own Arabian Nights:
Adventures of Harun-al- Roosevelt
| A LLAH is goodl Now, it happened that,
in the third wear of the Great Wind,
Harun- Roosevelt, Calf of Gabgab, grew
weary of the cares incumbent upon him as
Ruler of the World and spake thus to his
Grand Vizir, LET us disguise ourselves as
wandering Congressman and take an I'M
official peep at our people
So, at nightfall, they donned the mean
habit of Congressman and went forth upon
their adventures. And, at a respectful dis
tance in the rear, followed Mesrour the Exc
cutioner, bearing the Big Stick disguised as
an umbrella. And after wandering to no
purpose for several hours they at last came
upon three Calendars seated on the Treasury
steps and smoking CorncOb pipes As the
three wanderers were about to pass, the
three Calendars spoke in unison:
Pause, strangersl We are all husbands
together!'
This strange proceeding piqued the curl
os1ty OF the great Prince; so he paused and.
noticing that the three gentlemen had only
one eye among them, inquired the cause.
How lost my eye" said the First Cal
endar, is none of your business. Suffice it
to say that | married an American Girl.
However, as that is also another story, beg
that you will permit me to substitute
THE TALE OF PETRUCHIO AND THE
MODERN SHREw
By the grace of Cod continued the
First Calendar, there dwelt in Omaha dur
ing the administration of Mckinley a beau
tiful damOsel, by name Susie Shrewberrv.
whose eyes were like the full moon and
Cut out the sceneryl" commanded the
Grand Vizir, who held stop watch.
whose hair was a match for her tenn
per. They were both a fiery red From her
sixth to her twenty-tirst year Susie was easily
the proprietor of the Shrewberrv estate.
Her parents spoke only when spoken to and
ate humble pie meekly from the hand. Susie
believed in Sovereign Woman and reioiced
in the theory that Man was made to MOURN.
Up to the time that Susie went to Vas
sar she had few boyish admirers who be-
came singed by her fatal beauty. Unlike the
knights of old, Susie's admirers did not have
to fight dragons; they had to fight Susie and
that was good and plenty. Wherever she
went an ambulance always followed at a
respectful distance to pick up the bruised
and broken bodies of nice young men with
college pins. These Susie had thrown down
so hard that they never recovered
AT Nassar, Susie excclled at shot putting
and hammer throwing. She excelled also at
the high hurdles and invented the popular
Come on, girls!' yell. When she went home
for vacation she gave her poor father sound
financial advice. moved the piano fired the
cook, and received callers on Wednesday
evenings. The young men who called on
Susie SAID she was Corker; but they didn't
smile when they said it,
Susie didn't like dances: but she often
went Just to chaperon her mother AT such
functions Susie's beautiful face attracted to
her many partners, who waltzed with her
once and limped away giving the Never
Again password.
One evening to the ballroom there came
a tall slim youth named Petruchio Perkins
OF Princeton. AT college he was a noted ath-
lete, having played center rush on the high
ball team for seven successive seasons. He
watched the waltz-me WillieS from the side