davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06
A witty Bishop.

1.-THE late Bishop Foss." said a Phil.
Adelphia physician, "once visited me
for some trihing ailment.
do you. sir ! said to him, In the
course of my examination. talk in
your sleep? h
mo. sir he answered. i talk in
other peoples. Aren't you aware that
4 4 am a divine? r."
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06
Aged Mans Body Found.

Monticello. Peter Healy, aged So,
was found lying by the roadside three
miles east Of Monticello. Officer Lee
was notified and brought the mans
body to town. It is believed he died
of heart disease. fs
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06

Swearing In the New York subway
was punished by SO fine. New
Workers will please take warning and
get out Of the subway before express
ing themselves. Swearing at and not
IN the subway is the more economical
as well as appropriate.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06
Bow Kicked to Death bv Ho..e

Rockwell City George, the 16-
year-old son Of John B. Clark, resid-
ing two miles south Of town. was "a.
tally kicked by horse. When found
he was under q team in the barn,
badly trampled and his neck broken.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06
Mason city to Spruce up a Bit

Mason City to Spruce Up Bit.
Mason City.-A night police SER
geant, police headquarters and a new
patrol wagon is the result OF an agita.
ton for better police protection for
the city. Plans have been started for
the erection of fire station with a
larger force
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06
Mcdonald issues Memorial order,

Mcdonald Issues Memorial Orders.
Des Moines. BY order Of M. Nc
Donald, commander-in-chief, Iowa de-
partment, G. A. r., Memorial day,
May 80, will be fittingly observed all
over the state by members Of the or
ganization. June IA was set aside AZ
Flag Day
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06
Boone Veteran r. Dead.

Boone Casper Peters, native Of
Germany, and father Of Alderman A.
N. Peters, died at his home. He serv-
ed through the entire civil war and
was discharged honorably and with
distinction at its close.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06
THE Real Hero.

80 Biggins has written historical
novel?" 35ss
YES" answered Miss Cayenne.
.'Who is the hero Of the book 2"
...The man who has undertaken ia
publish IT. Washington Star. IN
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06

not sleep. 1t kept
growing larger and
by fall 1t was as
large as q hens egg.
] could not 60 to
bed without 9 hot
water bottle applied
to that side. / had
one of the best doc
tors in Kansas and
he told my husband
that / would have to
be operated on as It
was something like
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06

The battleship Delaware has gone
into commission. This is the most
powerful vessel In our navy and is
ranked as an American Dreadnought.
The Delaware carries ten 12inch guns
and will have q crew OF nearly thou,
sand men. AS q floating fortress she
probably has no superior, And that
makes her . pretty effective promots
OK peaca
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06

One of the oculists announces that
few people are able to see things as
they are. This is perfectly true, es-
pecially with regard to the ability Of
people to see things which affect them
personally.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06

Paris enthusiasts who are planning
10 prevent the slaughter of African
fauna are a year too slow.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06
WaterIoo's PopuIation 27.a4o.

100 WdteTIUU . FUpuIdtIUh EZ7,34V w
Waterloo. The Reporter here gave
an estimate of the census just com
pleted. It places the population OF
Waterloo at 27,340. and claims the
data is reliable, though not given out
by the enumerators.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06
OskaIoosa Woman Shot AZ.

Oskaloosa. Mrs. Lewis Steward
was shot at twice while standing in
her doorway, by two young men who
were passing in buggy. They are
unknown but search is being made.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06

Somebody has enunciated the the.
ory that sleeping in church is dis
ease. Well. it will gradually diminish,
now that the golf season is coming on.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06

The department OF agriculture will
live in historic gratitude II it can
get up cook book that will give the
check book a vacation.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06

incidentally, take note that the Ia,
test life saving signal, which now may
summon one take drink or lend a
dollar, is not &C. @. d." but IS. O. S."
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06

Passengers in France who stayed
aloft two hours in an aeroplane found
the earth still running nicely on their
return.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06
Arm Blown OF in Wolf Hunt.

Clear Lake. Word reaches here
from Tilden. Neb., that H. Edison Of
this place had his arm blown of while
wolf hunting. His wife has gone to
Tilden.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06

When the pocket wireless really
comes into use man no longer will
be able to forget to mail his wife's
letters.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06

Poultry farmers can point proudly
TO the fact that SO far as they know
there Is no such thing as eggine on
the market.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06

Science is pretty good, but It has
not yet identified the whooping-cough
germ, to say nothing of isolating it out
Of the small boys reach.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06

What is sometimes paraded as q
heart-warming international romance
generally proves to be nothing more
than sordid commercial affair.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06

Messages from Africa are to the ef-
feet that Col. Roosevelt is as hard as
nails. This explains why the tsetse
ny was stung.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06

No fight against the hat pin will
gain enough OF victory to send femi-
nine fashions back to bonnet strings.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06

Buy your own heme in the country.
and become perennial instead Of q
hardy annual
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06

There Is no way for the house ny
10 get arbitration in the war the Chi
cago health department Is making on
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06

An Indiana man went out to milk
the cows and was gone 43 years This
might replace the story Of Hercules
and the Augean stables.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06

Every hen will have to be taught to
lay her egg under an automatic dating
stamp.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06

Poorly cooked food often drivei
men to drink and women to suicide.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06

What causes divorce? Bum grub. !"
shouts the army Of dyspeptics.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06

San Francisco ought to take that
little earthquake as timely warning
to be good.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06

Get into the new census by all
means. All our best people are head
ing for It.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06

The comet with two tails Is doing
nicely in getting past the nature fake
detectors.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06
Iowa State Bystander'
BYsTANDER run. CO.. Publishers.
pEs MONIES. IOWA

Women's eyes are the only weapons
~ her IN Chicago.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06
SAD Cave |, !! y, /.

''Do you prefer your eggs poachad
i scrambled q,
can 7 remen1 bel. II ~
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06

Doctor-Now, Johnny, stick out your
tongue and let me see it.
Johnny--Not on your life. The last
time stuck out my tongue at you !
got a lickin' for 1t.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06

The signature on . check i : sign
OF prosperity.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06
skspsielsra.

sPa. what ID skepticf"
GA man who will not eat chicken
eatad because he believes It II sinful
to butcher calves"
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06

Constipation causes many SERIOUS disease. y
SsNsts. One laxative. tArss for cathartis.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06

What then Is your worry =
"The marketman who won't trust
Boston Herald. d
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06
A Reprimand.

1900 888 ~ 31tSPII1IINIIVs
Mrs. Brown was on her way to
prayer meeting, and as she passed the
Jones home she saw Bobby sitting on
the porch.
Aren't you afraid out here alone.
Bobby?"
I'm not alone was Bobby's an
swer.
who is with your" asked Mrs.
Brown. @
Now, Mrs. Brown" said Bobby i'm.
pressively, III you was good woman.
you would know who was with me"
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06

Even truthruf man is occasionally
guilty OF exaggeration.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06
His Finisl

His Finish.
HE struck fast gait when he first
went into politics"
And now?"
Now he is on the fence."
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1910-05-06
The Man over Down. ...

THE beef trust doesn't worry me
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1910-03-02
THE QUICKEST WAY.
How One Might Travel 1870 Miles In
About Ten Minutes.

1t Is estimated that If all mechanical
difficulties could be removed and sufli-
cient power developed the minimum
time In which passengers could be
transported over the eighty-five miles
from New York to Philadelphia would
be six minutes and forty-fOur seconds
and for the 100 miles from Boston TO
New York ten minutes and four sec
onds. A correspondent of the Scicn-
tific American who has been working
on the problem says that the trains
would have to be run in vacuum to
prevent their being heated to incan.
descence by the resistance of the air.
They would have to be held in sus-
pension in the vacuum tube through
which they Travelled, for the slightest
contact with the sides of the tube
would result M enormous friction
The cars might be held I'm suspension
by the propulsion of opposing magnets
on the cars and on the tubes reSDpc-
lively. When thus isolated they could
be propelled only by the power of
lnaSnetiSHl. Inc energy consumed III
propelling the cars would be comparn-
lively low.
To avoid shock or jar the trains
would travel faster and faster until
one-half of the distance should be Gov
cred and then slow down until the
destination should be reached. When
the rate of acceleration is just such as
can be borne with comfort the limit
is attained. The effect on the passen-
gers would be continuous pressure
against the back of the seat. rs when u
car Is started suddenly. for the first
half of the journey. and then in order
to prevent them from pitching out of
their seats the chairs would be turned
In the opposite direction for the resi-
Of the journey, during which the sa uir
sensation would he felt.
AT the speed named the passengers
would be travelling for each half of
the distance one-third as fast as they
could fall through the same space un-
der the attraction of gravity.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1910-03-02
The Pin and the eyip.

Too much mlnce pie h i done the
trick.
Littie 1ialmls Hc, q pain In her sash
aud iSd to 80 to bod
THE f1uilT ply l'l and h's tor
hat Cnel and rra1c.4a'd a pin Mai
mics moiIer snid Ne.y neil, but the
famll} physician did not know Mamie,
arl "he yis quite s;rr Maleie would
not tn.e tie pill. TAe family physi-
cinn said he would make 1t sweet
pill, but Mnimie's rather repl,ed that
so long as 1t was II pill 1t would bc
no use.
Then the family physician was
struck with brilliant idea. The pill
should be craftily concealed in the
center of Il preserved pear and sent
up TO little Mamie to eat
An hour later Maimies mother went
to see how her sweetest dear was
going on. she appeared to be going
on eXcelently.
"And did my pet eat all her pearT
inquired the fond mother.
"Yes, mumsie," replied the little dar-
ling. "all but the nasty seed"
There's many II slip 'twlxt the pear
and the pip.-LondOn Answers.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1910-03-02

don, ON passing which he hau ser ms
heart and had asked a friend in Lon
don to wire the result as soon MS the
names were screened mt Burlington
House
About three weeks later came IA
tai telegram, "Faied-sorry," which
sent the young man into the lowest
depths of despair for he was too old
to sit again. Not many hours later,
however came another telegram,
PASSED honors-very sorry crush so
great did not see name this morning"
The revulslon of feeling was so great
that the students reason gave way,
and he became so violent In his ex-
citement that he had to be confined.
Fortunately he was not with us long
and is now, l am glad to know. doing
very well as a solicitor.
Disappointed love sends many people
to asylums, but It is very seldom that
success In wooing drives n man mad
Ii had this strange effect, however, on
one of my late patients. The girl he
loved had gone out to India to keep
house for her brother before he had
screwed up his courage to the point of
proposing to her, but an offer followed
by mail very quickly after her.
Weeks ana months passed and no
answer came to the impatient lover
until, after waiting two years In de-
spair he became engaged to Il girl who
had nothing but her money bags to
recommend her and for whom he had
not particle of love. Scarcely, how
ever, was his fate sealed than he re-
ceived the long despalred of letter
from India, accepting his offer and ex-
planning that the girls brother had re-
celved and mislaid the letter. which
had only just been found and had
come into her hands.
Within an hour of the receipt of this
letter the man was raving maniac.
and, although his condition Is improv-
ed. doubt whether he will ever re-
cover his reason.
In another remarkable case 1t was
the joy at seeing her husband again
that robbed lady patient of her rea-
son. Her husband was the captain of
merchant ship which was reported
to have gone down with all hands
The widow had deeply mourned her
husband for nearly year when one
day on returning from walk she
found him sitting in the drawing room
as hale and robust as ever.
With shrek she fell unconscious
on the floor, and when she recovered
her reason was gone 1t seems that
her husband, after floating for some
time. had been picked up by passing
tramp" and had been landed on the
west coast of Africa, from which he
had returned home by the first avail
able vessel.--London Spectator.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1910-03-02
Hunting the Kangaroo.

When brought to bay the kangaroo
jumps like flash for the hunters
chest and tries to crush it in with his
fore feet. To prevent this each man
wears across his breast two or three
inch thick mating. Armed with n
spear, with club attachment at the
other end, they ride upon swift horses
into herd. With the agility and equi-
poise of circus riders they stand erect
upon their horses and use their spears
and clubs.
The kangaroo is able to jump clear
over a horse. As the game is bagged
it is skinned, and the skin is stretched
on the ground and pegged down to pre-
vent shrinkage. The flesh furnishes
meat for the camp. Each man places
his private mark upon his booty, and
when they have 100 apiece they return
back to civilization.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1910-03-02
Movement Of iccberus.

In the investigation of the currents
round the coast of Newfoundland it
has been observed that there is at
times wide difference in the direction
of the drift Of icebergs and that of the
fiat or pan ice, which, having no great
depth, is governed in its motions by
the surface currents and the winds.
whereas the icebergs, the larger parts
of which are submerged to great
depth, follow only the movement of
the ocean water as whole and are
uninfuenced by the winds. In conse-
quence huge berg may often be
seen majestically maintaining its slow
advance in opposition to the wind and
across the general motion Of the fields
Of fiat ice surrounding it. The sealers
often take advantage Of this fact by
mooring their vessels to an iceberg
in order to prevent drift to leeward.
Philadelphia Record.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1910-03-02
Free If 1t Fails
Your Money Back if You are
Not Satisfied with the
Medicine We Recommend

We are so positive that our REM
edy will permanently relieve con-]
stipation, no matter how chronic it'd
may be, that we offer to furnish
the medicine at our expense should
it fail to produce satisfactory rel
suits.
1t is worse than useless to at
tempt to cure constipation with
cathartic drugs. Laxatives or|
cathartics do much harm. They
cause reaction, irritate and
weaken the bowels and tend to
make constipation more chronic
Besides, their use becomes habit
that is dangerous.
Constipation is caused by
weakness of the nerves and mus
cles Of the large intestine or de-
scending colon. To expect per-
manent relief you must therefore
tone up and strengthen these or
gans and restore them to healthier
activity.
The discovery of the active prin-
ciple of our remedy involved tho
labor Of the worlds greatest re-
search chemists. AS an active
agent it possesses the valuable
qualities of the best known intes-
tinal tonics as we'll as being par
| ticularly pleasant and prompt in
its results.
We want you to try Rexall Or
derlies on our recommendation
They are exceedingly pleasant to
take, being eaten like candy, and
are ideal for children, delicate per-
! sons and old folks, as we'll as for the
robust. They act directly on the
nerves and muscles of the bowels.
They apparently have a neutral
action on other associate organs or
glands. They do not purge,
cause excessive looseness nor
create any inconvenience what
ever. They may be taken at
any time, day or night. They
will positively relieve chronic or
habitual constipation, if not of
surgical variety, and the myriads
Of associate or dependent chronic
ailments, if taken with regularity
for a reasonable length of time.
They come in two sizes of packages,
II tablets, 10 cents; SO tablets, 25
cents. The Rexall Store.
Stoke & Feicht Drug Company.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1910-03-02
HIS TH05o .aED.
A Deal the i4orsemon Pat Through on
the peaa C4i-t

A Deal the Horsemar ut Through OH
the Desc Cli-t
\ man known roundabout as a
lover and pOssess0r rl Gnn hurstS was
lately driving one of his fuvoritp
steeds along suburban |r,nd when
he came upon another horse lover. al.
NEST as well KNOWN. who wns driviug
In the opposite direction Sppmnyly
pleased to meet each other. both drew
up alongside.
II heard only yesterday thai yord
| gone away and brought back II ner
thoroughbred greeted the second
horseman.
yep" glcefully returned the first
horseman; "Pm just after leaving her
back home while give this horse n
little spin for his liver"
Think she'll suitT asked the sp.
ond man, squintlng good humoredly.
"Well, you know my style. old man.
She can step along In the best class
and she's got n pedigree ecllpsing any
around here"
"llow long have you had herr"
Just four days" answered the first
horseman in the same glerful tone.
"but I've had my eyes on her for son.
time back"
Carried this deal through II little on
the quiet, didn't you?"
Yep" laughed the first man. with
head shake of satisfaction.
rs she record brenkerY
Sure thing; wouldn't have any
other. Wait til you fellows get n
glimpse of her. and If you don't agree
that I've still got my eyes for winners
I'll eat the tail off that horse there"
Suddenly the second horseman lean
ed over toward his friend and thrust
out his hand in palpable earnestness
Accept my congratulations" said
he, "and also give 'em to your-your
thoroughbred
81 Will" heartily returned the other
man, gripping the prolfered fist. BE
sure TO come in and see u.s." he added
as his friend prepared to drive on.
II know she'll be tickled to meet
friend of mine; she isn't too high
hitched for that, old man. That's her
winning quality. She's n wife fit for
a horse judge"-Detroit Free Press.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1910-03-02
Why He Searched.

The old man had evidently dropped
something in the muddy road, and he
began searching for it. In three min
utes about thirty strangers had Joined
in the search, and every additional
minute brought additional searchers
till at last one, bolder than the rest
plucked up heart and spoke:
"What are you looking for?' he in
quired
"My friend" mumbled the old man
81 have dropped piece of taffy can
dy"
But, great Scott" cried another OF
the crowd angrily, why do you go
looking for it when it will be covered
with dirt?
Because, my inquisitive friend" re
piled the old man, my false teeth are
sticking to that taffy."
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1910-03-02
O'ConnsiIs Biu Head.

Thackeray was six feet two inches
in height, and Sir Fl. w. Lucy says the
great novelist wore seven and five
eighth inch hat, beating Dickens and
John Bright by full half inch. Mr.
Gladstone's hat was of seven and
three-eighth inch measurement-the
same as Macaulay's-while Beacons
field needed full seven inch. The hat
of Daniel O'Connell, however, would
have beaten them all, measuring eight
and one-half inches by ten inches.