davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Falls City tribune., 1910-07-15
story of a New York Lawyer Who
Used His Wit to Save His
Heels.

Sounds a bit paradoXieal, | know
says Judge William J. Boyhan, in a
New York paper, but one of the lazi-
est men | ever knew is likewise n
of the most successful lawyers of my
personal acquaintance. I'll just relate
one instance which is typical.
Il met him one Saturday in the
street. just after he left his office. We
had taken but a few strides when a
messenger boy approached and In.
formed my friend he was bound for
his office to deliver II thousand en-
velopes, which he had in a box. But
do you think my friend would turn
back and open his office to receive the
goods? No, not he. lie just chucked
them under his arm and took them
along.
we boarded an elevated train and
rode uptown. On leaving the train
was surprised to find my friend had
lief the box of envelopes on the train.
| stopped him of a sudden and re-
minded him of the fact. To my utter
establishment he just laughed and con,
tinued ON his way, Then | demanded
to know why IN the world he took the
envelopes If he intended to throw
them away.
You amuse me. Boyhan,' he said.
I see you are one of those m%ethodical
fellows who worry half their lives
away. Don't you know the elevated
station lost and found office Is only
two doors removed from the build
ing where my office is located. The
envelopes are of no account to any
one save me, and | will bet you ten to
one they will be there for me bright
and early Monday morning
The Falls City tribune., 1910-07-15
CITY MAN IN THE COUNTRY
How His World Was Widened by a
Chat With a kindiy-Faced
Farmer.

Il went out into the country the
other day IN an automobile just TO get
away from business. was sick OF
four walls and a ceiling. was long
ing for the open fields. In the eoun-
try you do not ask the name OF the
farmer trudging along his face Is
kindly and you speak to him anyway.
Il gave the first | saw a lift for a
mile or two and we gossiped famil-
iarly. | had left a world of work and
worry lie seemed to be content l
had thought my world most wide. Ills
was fun of wonders. He told me how
to kill the smut in oats and now a ma.
tons welfare hangs upon the price
of corn. pig iron and pork. We sat
down on a log.
He told me things you cannot read
In books and showed me where Tar
beyond the hills his realm begins ana
where "A mile beyond the green bis do
minion ends. We chatted on till twl-
light when | rode slowly back to town
to take up lighter tasks than his;
though mine seemed ponderous be
fore"
The Falls City tribune., 1910-07-15
A Novel Bed,

"T'm a hundred per cent. healthier
for sleeping up next to the ceiling"
remarked a certain dweller out East
Capitol way. I'm not only above tine
drafts that frisk back and forth from
the window to door and cause half the
colds We suffer from, but | breathe a
far purer quality of air and hence
awake more refreshed. Foul air al
ways settles In the lower part of the
room; the purer air floats above where
I sleep"
He has rugged for himself a compli-
Gated system of weights and pulleys
whereby he can hoist his couch from
the floor and suspend 1t, like Moham-
med's coffin, the while the slumbers.
AS To the possibilities of rolling out of
bed, he refused to make comment
Washington Star. =
The Falls City tribune., 1910-07-15
SIRUP ON MONTANA ROADS
An Idea That Grew Out OF the Expert
ment Made on a Tennis
Court.

A scheme for improving the roads
of the state by sprinkling them with
a strip which is a refuse In the
manufacture of graduated sugar from
sugar beets will be submitted to the
good roads convention and Is being
widely discussed in this section, writes
a Billings correspondent of the Los
Angeles Times.
The idea of using refuse strip on
roads grew out of an experiment made
by one of the tennis clubs here. When
the court was laid out the dust caused
considerable annoyance, also the fact
that with every rain the soil was
picked up by the shoes Of the tennis
players.
In looking about for a cheap binder
one member suggested refuse strip.
1t answered the purpose admirably.
When mixed with salt and poured over
the ground to a depth of several
inches the ground was rendered i'm.
pervious to water and the dust was
entirely eliminated. 1t worked yirtu
ally as well without salt.
st is believed that If the country
roads are properly graded, rolled and
copiously sprinkled with this refuse
strip they could be kept In fair con.
dition with two such treatments a
year at a cost trifling when compared
with oil.
The Falls City tribune., 1910-07-15
HUMMlNGBlRD DECORATIONS
Great Demand for the Feathers on
Women's Hats Likely to Re-
duce Their Number.

Prof. Schillings, the German wild
beast photographer whom Colonel
Roosevelt made a point of meeting in
Berlin, says that woman's peryerse
taste in the decoration of hats. is
gradually devastating the bird world,
though another chief cause, he
thinks, is the artificial creation of Ger
tain fashions by millinery houses. He
mentioned one Berlin firm which made
purchases of hummingbird feathers to
the amount of thousands of dollars
the moment a leading Paris firm gave
the word that hummingbird decoration
was to be the mode. In Florida, he
said, whole colonies of herons of
from $1,000 to 10000 pairs produce
families. Then came the heron hunt
ers and in fourteen days not a heron
is left. The hunter has gained from
$1,000 to $4,000.
These remarks were made at the
pathological congress in Berlin,
which vas attended by delegates
from all parts of Europe. One dele
gate called attention to the new fash
ion of using bird feathers for the
decoration of women's shoes. In a
Paris shop window, he said, he saw a
pair of shoes with hummingbird
feathers on them priced at $1.100.
The Falls City tribune., 1910-07-15
The Question Answered.

The late Mr.. John ]. ingalls,, United
States senator from Kansas, once told
with great glee the story OF a joke at
his OWL expense, the humor of which,
however, he enjoyed as keenly as if
he had not been the victim of 1t.
Il went n evening" said Mr.. In
gals, ito make a political speech in a
small town. | presume the people
thought would have difficulty in fill
ing an hour; at any rate, they called
upon the village choir to assist.
3. II trust that the hymns were select
ed before my arrival, but of that |
cannot be sure. / know that before
the talk the choir sang, What Shall
the Harvest Be?' and after it, Moth
ing but Leaves youths Com
panion.
The Falls City tribune., 1910-07-15
SUCCESSFUL, THOUGH LAZY LIKE AN EARTHLY PARADISE
Many Delightful Things happening
TO Henry, But 1t Was All in
a Dream.

The man was astonished. He won
dered If he were dead aud this change
Of things one born OF a hereafter.
He was awakened by his wife ap-
pearing ut his bedside with a tray of
breakfast-oh. such a breakfast.
Here's your breakfast. dear" she
said, and he sat up in bed and en-
joyed il.
Take our time" said his wife, its
early yet" So the nan leisurely at
tired himself for the day and as leis-
urely made his way to the office.
At the office the boss was all
smiles.
Come into my office a minute,
Henry" he said Il want to talk with
you" Once inside he told him that
there would soon be = vacancy to be
filled higher up, and hat he had been
keeping an eye on his work for some
time.
I'm glad you're to get It, Henry"
said the boss, you deserve that raise,
If anybody ever did
Then, happily whistling under his
breath, the man took a seat at his
desk. The first letter he opened was
one from a man he had almost for
gotten. 1t contained a check for So
that he had almost forgotten was owed
him.
Then some one shook him by the
shoulder.
"Get I'M Henry" said his wife;
i've walked you twice already. II you
want any breakfast you'll have to get
1t downtown. Thin. Eve nothing to
do but cook breakfast at all hours?
You'd better hurry IL you don't want
to be late at the Office"
1t was ali a dream, and the S9-cent
clock showed that, however he might
hurry. he was sure to be late.-Galyes-
ton News.
The Falls City tribune., 1910-07-15
OLD AIDS TO TIE HAT TRADE
Severe Laws Have Been Passed in
England to Protect Various
Makers of Headgear.

Hats have in England been subject
to very severe protective enactments.
The blocked beaver hat, for instance,
imported by Sir Walter Raleigh from
the low countries, won its way SO
rapidly that in 1871 Queen Elizabeth
passed an act to protect the making
of "thrummed" caps, made from wool
for the advantage of the landed pro
prietors, whose sheep furnished the
material. The statute provided that
"every person, except ladies and Jews
twhy were Jews excused?) shall on
Sundays and holidays wear on his
head a cap of velvet wool made in
England. Penalty So. 6p. per day"
About a century later the law, for
which there is nothing too high or
too low, having taxed mems shoes,
turned it's attention once more to
their hats, and soon put a check on
all improvements in the trade by re-
quiring every vender of hats to take
out a license under a heavy penalty.
Subsequently a stamp duty was i'm
posed on all hats, which were Off
cially marked inside where the
makers name now appears. The
penalty for selling a hat without a
stamp was e10,s and the penalty for
forging a hat stamp was-death!
of the mar who goes to church, sits
down, looks into his hat-to read his
makers name!
The Falls City tribune., 1910-07-15
POLICE RECEIPT WAS SHY
Ruse of a Youthful French Advocate
Which Resulted In Acquittal of
His Client.

The Paris bar is laughing at the
ruse of a youthful advocate who had
10 defend a mar whose reputation
was not of the best.
After much thought the counsel con-
Guided that If he could produce doc
umentary evidence of his claimants
honesty all would be we'll, and to OBJ
tain an aequittal would mean much
as far as his practise was concerned
Like most suspects, the client was
penniless, SO to produce the necessary
evidence it was needful to provide the
means.
The advocate gave his client a five
frame piece-about a dollar-and sug-
gested that he should take 1t to the
police and say he found it in the
street, and thus obtain a receipt.
The client aequesced, went to the
police office. and returned with a re-
ceipt.
The advocate gave a cursory glance
at the document and tied it up with
his brief, little thinking of the Sc
quel.
On the day of the trial the young
advocate relied entirely on the police
receipt, and thus terminated his APP
peal to the jury:
Il have a document which shows
that during the past week my client
found a fiye-franc piece in the street,
and without delay he took it to the po-
lice. Is that the act of a thief?"
Then he triumphantly handed the
document to the president of the
court. The judge examined it closely
and asked:
WAS it five francs that he found?'
Eyes, Mr.. President" was the reply.
81 am quite sure as to that"
But" said the president, 'the re.
ceipt is for one franc only.
The court was eonyulsed, and the
jury, approaching either the inge.
nuity of the counsel or the sharpness
of his client, acquitted the honest
knave.
The Falls City tribune., 1910-07-15
Unpunctual Bridal Parties.

For some time past the Great Syna-
gogue authorities have been consider
ably perplexed at the lateness of the
arrival of marriage parties. Remon-
STRANGE has been in vain, and it was
not unusual for a wedding party to ar
rive two hours after the time fixed for
the ceremony.
The board OF management has now
decided that as this unpunctuality has
resulted in much loss of time to the
official an hours grace be given to
the parties. Should the hour be ex-
ceeded the officials are to leave and
the wedding will be postponed until
the conclusion of Mincha (afternoon)
service.-London Daily Mail.
The Falls City tribune., 1910-07-15
The Straw Itch.

Handlers OF straw and those who
sleep on straw mattresses run a new
danger, which is pointed out to the
public in the federal governments
health bulletin. The straw itch"
which may attack them is due to a
small straw infesting mite. While the
mite deyours the parasites which or
dinarily would damage grain, 1t may
attack the handler. Within twelve
hours after exposure, itching appears,
followed shortly by an eruption.
The Falls City tribune., 1910-07-15
Concrete Fence Posts.

AS a material for fence posts con-
crete has been found to possess few
of the disadvantages of wood, to have
practically all its advantages, and to
be superior in some respects to tim
Der. The first cost may be more or
less than the best wooden posts, but
that depends on local conditions. II
manufactured as usual and cured for
three months concrete posts are as
good as the best wooden posts. After
three years wooden posts possess
only one-third to one-half of their
original strength, whereas concrete
grows stronger with age and needs no
repairs, as neither weather nor fire
Injuries 1t.
The Falls City tribune., 1910-07-15
NonroYaI Headqear.

One of the attaches of the American
embassy at London tells a story
wherein Michael Joseph Barry, the
poet, who was appointed a police mag
istrate in Dublin, was the principal
figure.
There was brought before him an
Irish-American, charged with sus-
picious conduct. The officer making
the arrest stated, among other things,
that the culprit was wearing a Re
publican hat"
Does your honor know what that
means?" was the inquiry put to the
court by the accused's lawyer.
ut may be- suggested Barry, that
it e a hat without a CROWN
Harper's Weekly.
The Falls City tribune., 1910-07-15
Old Warships as Forts.

The disposition of about thirty
ships. which have been made prac-
tically obsolete as modern fighting
ships by the rapid development in the
construction of naval vessels and the
increased efficiency of the more re-
zen guns, has confronted the navy de-
partment with a pe~rplexing problem.
The July number of Popular Mechan-
les offers the following interesting So
luton: The use of a few Of the ves-
sells as training ships will undoubted-
ly dispose of some of them, but that
helps only a little. The suggestion
which sounds the most practical of
any Is the utilization of the more pow
erful ships as forts, s~tationing some
of them in the approaches of impor-
tant harbors, and planting others on
convenient resting places such as
small islands, at the mouths of har-
bors. Where no such places are
available 1t has been proposed to con-
struct islands around them"
The Falls City tribune., 1910-07-15
SPIDER ON THE FACE VEIL
Latest Freakish Novelty for Woman's
Adornment Which Has Been
Offered by Paris.

The spider beauty spot veil Is the
latest novelty offered to women. or
course 1t originated in Paris. 1t Is a
copy of a spider In black chenille and
is posed outside the veil. 1t is almost
an inch and a half in diameter, The
veil is worked in imitation of a spi-
der's web.
The wells which have been popular
this season so far have been disfigur-
ing enough with their leaves, insects,
birds. aeroplanes and scarlike con-
ventional patterns as part of the mesh,
but they all sink into lnsignifeanee
beside the web veil with its spider
adornment.
The Falls City tribune., 1910-07-15
Rantlme Doomed2

Ragtime songs and music have about
served their purpose and are gradual
ly going out of popular esteem, accord
ing to J.. l.. Tindale, president of the
Music Publishers Association of the
United States. "Ragtime of the trivial
sort and the ordinary slangy music
of the current popular song, will be
a thing of the past in five years." he
said. ut is hard to understand why
bar room equips and the slang of the
streets should be perpetuated in
music, and such goods ought not to be
offered for sale or taken into our
homes for Preside entertainment"
The Falls City tribune., 1910-07-15
Bio Electrical Investment.

There are in use In the United
States $4,000 telephones, represent
ing $3.50, 900 900 capital, or about 500
for each telephone. There are in this
country 40,247 miles of electric rail.
ways using 59.216 ears and capitalized
at s4,557, 000, 900. There are 5000 CEN
trail stations, costing $3.50, 900, 900,
earning $3.50, O00, 900 a year and deyel.
oping 100000 horse power. In all
about $4,000, 000, 900. an authority says.
is invested In the electrical business
In the United States. This is equal
to about $75 for every man, woman
and child in the .~ountry-and all in
80 years.
The Falls City tribune., 1910-07-15
LIFE IN A COAL BREAKER
Dark Picture Drawn of Employment
to Which Young Boys Are
Bound.

Practically every boy graduates
from school to the coal breaker before
he is fourteen-some boys as early as
ten or eleven years. The coal break
er is a gaunt. toWer-like wooden struc-
lture, at the top of which the coal is
broken into the required size for use
and then sent in a continuous stream
down chutes which empty into wait
ing coal cars or pockets. The boys
iare employed to pick out of the NOV
ing stream the pieces of slate as they
appear-straddling the chutes, or sit
ting on small wooden projections at
the side. The atmosphere in the
breaker is SO thick and dark with 1y-
ing coal dust that an attempt TO take
a photograph of a couple of boys at
moon, near a window, resulted in one
indistinguishable black surface; the
noise is SO great that | could not dis
tingsish the words of my guide even
when he put his mouth close to my
ear and shouted; the movement and
shaking of the whole structure are at
times so violent that in some break
ers | have been obliged to hold
tightly to a hand rail for safety. The
boys grow so cramped from long sit
ting in one position that sometimes
they seize the opportunity TO chase
one another around the slippery metal
platforms. And there was not n
superintendent in the -four or five col
1ieries that we have happened to visit
who did not, upon our questioning, re-
late at least enc tragedy that had
occurred in his experience. of a boy
who had slipped into a coal pocket
and been smothered, or had been
mangled and killed by falling into the
machinery. When we have asked
whether the slate picking could not
be done by mechanical devices, the
invariable answer has been, Yes, but
the boys are cheaper. '-Harper's Mag
aZine.
The Falls City tribune., 1910-07-15
The Credit system,

A South side woman makes frequent
purchases at a nearby drug store. and
always has them charged.
She often takes her five-year-old
daughter with her. One day recently
the child made her way to the store
alone. walked in, picked up the pro-
prietor's cat and started for the door.
Here you have my cat" called out
the druggist.
Charge It," said the child, and kept
on going. At last accounts she still
Lad the cat.-Kansas City Post.
The Falls City tribune., 1910-07-15
Select Society.

Jack was sitting on the front YER
anda one summe evening, when Fido
ran into the street to greet another
dog. Fido's family very excitedly
called him in. Jack looked on seri-
ously a moment, then said: ~
wouldn't like TO be Fido, mamma"
"Why?" asked his mother.
They don't allow him to associate
with any other dogs. Why" continued
Jack, they don't allow him to asso-
ciate with himself. "-Delineator
The Falls City tribune., 1910-07-15
Preservation of Flour.

A new method of preserving flour
has recently been adopted with sue.
cess in England. 1t is done by means
of compression. With hydraulic APP.
p~aratus the flour is squeezed into the
form of bricks, and the pressure de-
stroys all forms Of larval life. thus
preserving the -four from the rayages
of insects, while 1t is equally secur
from mold. Three hundred pounds of
compressed flour occupy the same
space as 100 pounds in the ordinary
state.
The Falls City tribune., 1910-07-15
Red Snapper in oregon Waters.

Several fine red snappers have been
caught in the John Day river by a
fisherman who was out for black PASS
with hook and line. The incident re-
calls the almost forgotten planting in
the river several years ago of the fry
of this fish, taken from the Gulf Of
Mexico. The experiment had come to
be regarded as a failure.-Portland
Oregonian.
The Falls City tribune., 1910-07-15
Luxury of Law.

81 haven't the vestige of a case"
said the crafty client to the craftier
lawyer, but l have money"
How much?' casually inquired the
legal one.
twenty-five thousand dollars" pro-
claimed the client.
The lawyer put out his hand.
Shake hands," he said. you
have the best case | ever heard of.
I'll see that you never go to Jail with
that sunni"
And he did.
The client there went broke"
The Falls City tribune., 1910-07-15
a Shlpwrecked Baby

A large Spanish steamer, the Felix
de Abasalo of Bilbao, laden with
Goals from Newcastle to Genoa, went
ashore at Attorney during the fog one
morning recently. No lives were lost
The captain and engineers wives, one
with a babe In arms, landed on the
islet.-London Daily Mail.
The Falls City tribune., 1910-07-15
No Danger of That.

Mrs. Stubbs-John, no true man will
smoke up his wife's curtains.
Mr.. Stubbs-I should say not. Any
body that smokes curtains would be a
freak. | prefer cigars.
The Falls City tribune., 1910-07-15
The Shockinu Part,

What do you find particularly
shocking at that play?"
The people | saw in the audience
whom l had hitherto regarded as Sc
date and conservative people,"
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-05-19
SUNFLOWER PHILOSOPHY.

If 1t isn't dangerous boy won't at
tempt it.
Some people cannot bear to be left
alone; they cannot enjoy their own
company. How do you feel about it?
The next time you are feeling tough
look yourself over and see if YOU
haven't recently been a fool about eat
ing.
When boy of 10 asks what a bed
Dug looks like, adding that he has
never seen one, his mother beams with
as great pride as if he had grated in
Latin.
An Atchison girl now soaks her
handkerchief with gasoline. instead of
perfume. She wants people to believe
tnat her father owns an automobile.
The girl in love with the Office boy
mas greater opinion of his business
aplnty than the wife of the manager
mas of her husbands, and marriage is
what did it.
I Other people may talk behind your
back, and smile to your face, but kin
always have the courage of their con-
victions: they'll tell you frankly what
they think of you.-Atchison (Kan.)
Globe.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-05-19
Guarding Against Violence.

The officials of the city of London do
not propose to have King Edwards
funeral marred by any terrorist
demonstration. To guard against such
a contingency the city is now thronged
with troops from every quarter, in
fact London has not see so many SOL
ders before in years. The danger of
some untOward incident is very great
when so much royalty is gathered to-
gether and travels the public high
way.
The rulers of all the European
countries who are in any way related
or connected with the royal house in
England will attend the funeral of
King Edward. They cannot leave
their enemies behind them, therefore
1t is necessary for their hosts to pro-
tect them while in England. Eight
kings, hundred princes, dukes. grand
dukes, marquises. counts, viscounts,
barons and other noblemen present a
terrible temptation to the anarchist
and annihilist. History shows that he
does not neglect such opportunities.
If exceeding care is not taken the
funeral of King Edward will result in
other funerals. London has always
been an asylum for the radicals of
Europe. They are suffered to live and
carry on their work there so long as
they do not become active in Eng
land. On this account the supply of
trouble makers is rather larger than it
would otherwise be. That is why
London is crowded with troops and
that is why the route of the funeral
pageant will be lined with soldiers
who will sternly repress any attempt
10 approach too closely Inasmuch as
Edward VII accomplished so much for
peace it would indeed be unfortunate
II the last honors paid him after his
death should be marked by violence.