The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1910-10-27
Experiences Of Al s
gernon O'SuIIivan

the 0rsippusans, lnhabit-
ants Of orsippus, a Celebrated
City in Northern Patagonia.
Orsippus is city in Northern
Patagonia, celebrated the world over
for it's classical architecture and it's
no less classical style of house paint
ing. The Orsippusans are the lineal
descendants of Histion, son of ia
phet, and he of Noah. In appear
ance they resemble the Chinese,
differing only in their styles of
coiffure. Instead of being satisfied,
as are the celestials, with one pig
tail, they cultivate number which
hang down over face and neck, pre-
senting an appearance suggestive of
the covered-eyed Medusa. Their
language is that of the Highland
Scotch. -.
Having introduced these ex-
cellent people to you, will
proceed to tell you why l have
done SO. In the first place, / think
everybody should make the acquaint-
ance of these people. They should,
so to speak. form part of our educa-
tional system, for they are the living
representatives of all that is wise,
all that is otherwise, and sanctimo-
NOUS. Three splendid qualities.
1t was on morning in January
some two years ago that Algernon
O'Sullivan put in his appearance at
Orsippus, and with the sangfroid char
acteristic of an innocent abroad
proceeded to apprise the residentsof
his arrival. He was not greeted
wit b anything like effusiveness.
No. They were little suspicious
of the peculiar burr in his speech,
and the rude manner in which he
rolled and rumbled his RS.
Algernon, however, was enamored
of the simple, lovable people and
decided to devote himself to their
interests, which he determined to
make his own, or mix with his own,
was it? / forget which. To. this
purpose he bent his energies and
strove with all the wit at his COM
mand to win the good will of such
persons as he thought might be Of
use to him. 1t never at any moment
entered the pate of Algernon that
his overtures were displeasing, or
that his coarse, witty vulgarities
were obnoxious and did not at any
time leave the impression of manli-
ness he intended to convey. This,
! say, never entered his head. He
had convinced himself that he was a
prepossessing parsonage, and was
also convinced that everybody else
harbored the same conviction, which
was not correct. To the Orsippus-
ans he was an alien, an undesirable
citizen, bull in their chinashop, as
it were, and naturally they resented
such rumpus. What evil wind
blew hither this undisciplined mon
ster, this Beau Brummel of Billings
gatew Inquired Bacchus, the City
Father. of his secretary. The sec
retary didn't know, so he shook his
head and mumbled,, search mel''
Meanwhile Algernon, with the
confidence peculiar to the 'igh-soled
and free 'arted, enlisted the sympa-
thy of an American butcher and q
German philanthropist,, formed q
triad and cornered the whole supply
of gooseberry jam. The people
Ewere shocked. It's shame," they
said, and Algernon, smiling sweetly,
admitted it.
1t was soon perceived that Alger-
non was bird of prey not very
easily scared away Finally, drastic
measures were decided upon. Mu-'
nicipal administration was placed in,
the hands of the females. When
Algernon was told of this he laughed.
That's foine.'' he said, suits me to
a T." After awhile the ladies COM
menced to call upon him. They
praised him, they flattered him,
laughed at his witticisms and told