davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1910-02-06
Continued from Page one.

overlooked. It was embalmed in prose
aud poetry
First OF all appeared the Infant Indus
tries, the Lumber Trust, the Whisky
Trust the Beef Trust the Coal Trust
and the Tobacco Trust each being repre-
scented by a member Of the club attired in
plnafores and the cutest little pantles that
ever adorned an infantile form Swing
ing hands and melodIzins to the tune Of
London Bridge Is Failing Down. they
introduced themselves as follows:
We are Infant Indusuies. Industries, Industries,
We sre Infant Industries.
Haie and hearty.
Bound TO do iust as We please. as We please. as We
please;
Bcund 90 do just as We please
With each TaTty.
What 90 YOU mean asked the club
president This is not a children's play
ground"
The whole country is our playground, >
announced the dear little Lumber Trust
we saw a lot of usly-loolling customers
outside and were looking for protection.
I am sure We have some kind friends or
relatives at This dinner.
The belief was shown 10 pc founded on
fact when Mr. f. H. Gary, of the steer
trust, Senator Guggenheim. and a few
other representatives oi mOnop0lstlc
corporations were ruthlessly dragged
from their places Of conCoalmeut behind
the mounds of roses and compelled to
admit their awful Identity Then in
.,e
hoIoW-Cheeked, hatIess. and vestIess
creatures, who were made to appear by
the art of the official costumer as II
they were i'm the last stages OF the
struggle for existence
They Hadn'a Any other Place to Go.
Here come those houid people VINO
have been pursuing as, exclaimed the
Coal Trust
we want lower prices" walled the
forlorn consumers.
Why do you come 10 u.s."
Because replied the principal con-
sumner. we haven't any other place to
go"
Thcreupon the doep-che-'ed infants
warbled as follows
on. iht ultimate Qcn'1m-r aiulF- has tu come 90 us.
Cause De hasn't any other Place 20 So,
he n,l Use " indignation he "li make an awful
@
Wiz are on oar guests assembled here tonight iu
siad aua,:
Nl' do 'arsres men keer coming TO our city day
% laz
az -''
,,.,,.sf.. hahn. ann. ...,,.. ...r,,. +.,.
CHORUS.
lf'u '','
,,
.-- '''' '-'- l'''' '''''
cause -o- nave" s's ''-s' ,'a.' To -'
WI, 1s5 .l5 zs,,,, .,-. army %. ,r-., f- Stealth
cause he hadn't ary other rlsa. IL, 60.
Why does Willie Waldorf A-or stay in Emore fox
his health.
Cause De hadn't aoE other place 20 go.
Why af' m'Ns people seeking '''' 81 government ''
ur. IN ...r. -..s... t... 81. ...rl ... f5..,....
.--.q
Mn, 5--. - T,s 7.-,. ~ ID. .ri... ... .,..
..-.. .t.., l.,.. ,. ..,s..- ,l,,.. ...
am d'I7i' Vi '-T9e P5'.''' ""l'td
the Tobacco Trust Il want my mother
"E0O-hoo. wept the other Trusts We
Yrs. IHfiH The HOGher Of trusts.
"Who Is vour MOTHER" asked one Of
The f-ffirr.ta Consumes
.,r.. 7,.,i.f T.. .... ,,,.,t..- 80 ,,,,-,st. o..
wv '.f'E'
rage with anger Fee II fa frlrurH rU,,-
.,,rsir..a
..-..
..l-- .
-l....,.r. -, +i- f-t.Ir.t ft,,s.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-06
GRIDIRON CLUB MAKES MERRY ON 25TH BIRTHDAY

Everybody knows that the governor of
North Dakota is changing United States
Senator's every week or 50. Not to he out
done by any sovereign State, the Gridifon
Club changed Senators from North Da-
kota every few minutes
Whenever there was lull in the pro-
ceedings, one OF the guests was escorted
from his place at the table TO the center
OF the room and introduced as the new
Senator from North Dakota By the time
that two had 1hus been presented the
guests caught The spirit Of the joke, and
when the third and fourth were brought
forward their appearance created laugh
ter and applause before a word. was said.
Mr. Fafrbanks' CaBIegram.
One of the interesting episodes Of the
evening was the reading Of a genuine
cablegram from former Vice President
Fairbanks vino is on his way back 10 the
United States from tour around the
world. The message was as follows:
Rome Italy February T. 1910
Sony cannot be with y0I Saturday. Good luck 10
the Gridiron God have mercy aupn ITS guests. for
IT vii not. Howerer as Nye said Of classical music
it is not as bad as ~ sounds
CHARLES W. FAIRBANKS.
HOnOrcd the Charter Members.
The club honorcd its charter members
by printing their names upon the menu
card. OF the men who originated the now
famous organization, eleven are SIN con-
.nectcd with it. as follows:
CHARTER MEMBERS.
George " Adams Washington STAG.
John Alden. Brooklyn TINES.
w. T. k&ssst1. Boston Advertiser.
+Chaue &. Boynt7n Western Associated Press.
II. y Bontou. Cincinnati Commercial Gazette.
" W. Burhans The Tinted Press.
John A. Carson, Philadelphia Ledger.
SeIden \. Clark. New York Tribune.
j. O. Crawford. PIitsbmg Commercsl Gazette.
Theron g. Crawford. New York World.
F. g. D1lnusn, NeF York Times.
~. Y. De Grar. The United Pres.
Prank Adams De- Pily. New York Times. 4.
Edward Fleming. ST.. Louis RepubIc.
r. 4. G. Handy. Chio4so Times.
'Pery 5. Heath. indianapolis Journal
A. VI. lyman New YORK SUN.
William g Mcbride. Cincinnati EnquHers
David Il. Mckee New York Associated Press.
II. Il. p. Maauiand. Boston Herald.
Charles T. MURRAY Philadelphia Times
e.. NJ Ogden. Philadelphia Press.
Zen Pf5e- par-e Providence Journal.
rr.5 Penn pous5s Ctieaae Times.
M G.. ssakeEdcrf. New York Tribune.
-. %. stcaley Louisville Correctional.
Cu1-Ias J. ToaIs Boston Traveller.
Frank u Tr5e-ieu B.fffu1r-e American
I n 1y.s5,.-,.,-. ,.-- Orleans r,l.-.,-.-e
.pof.-- vrrrs f,.rrf--.-f ,-.rrrssr.fs, Gazette
y u W.. ,7s-.-. .r-fl...s
.T.rr.s p w. p1.,s5sl-.,.. Star
..-., --.-.,..-... 90 .s...,.,.
.--,, .-,
iHV men" ."' % "-S' ''''s''.' O. % 'sl
il'S''' vi 'i-e d" "'-'i ''-e 0''''
''S 1'''- ~ Gnu
~, IN, go ''s
'ai'-aI. ID. -'''. '.-' Do u ''.''.-' '---" A'.''
/ - .,..- ,,. . . s---.- -.--., "a. ,-.,r-....--..z
{ -.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-06
HtlRt

7 n a. hsluy 1- cab be-
Win nv children at Uv knee
For 7 tax, care Of them and they tshe care ut me
When Others disagree
There's peace and harmony
IN the bosom Of my family
The Washington herald., 1910-02-06

'Dottie Lumber Trust. said Mrs Tariff
60 one of the infants when the applause
had subsided you have been eating I'D
the forest preserves. And Willie Whisky
Trust. Ehat is that ON your face You
have been into the iimjam jar And as
for YOU turning TO the poor consumer.
don't YOU ever bother these infants
again. Don't stick your nose into our
business
An We want is a finger in the pie. "
answered the consumer, expressing his
desire i'm the following effusion:
Oh. the ultimate consumer Is AZ busy as can be.
ErdeavoTins 90 pick the shen that hides the little
vote at each election. and to get job try
But in politics / never get finger ia tie pit1a
Finger ia the Iie,
Finger 10 the pie.
watch the prices as they go sky high.
But never find way to get a finger in The pie
We sci the market basae,-it's no bigger than yom
hat
even that
SIR
And Fe only wish that We could get finger in the
NE.
Oh bread and meat are scarce, and when for Ius-
cious IrIir We loug.
The best we get is stoisr and the watermelon song;
We viu have 60 dine on toothpicas and a uaI6ib
by and 10y,
trlcss we 81 chance TO Sc, a finger in the l.e
Notwithstanding the sadness OF the
theme, the music was lively quick-step.
and to its cheerful strain the Trusts and
the Ultimate Consumers danced out of the
banquet hail. arm i'm arm. amid much
LAUGHTER
L"oLinS fcr the Commissioners.
Among the guests were the newly ap-
pointed District Commissioners, Mr.. Cuno
II. Rudolph and Gen. john A. Johnston.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-06
Guests Who Were Present.

4 complete list Of the guests who were
present is as follows.
The President Of the United States.
The Vice President Of tbe United States.
The German Amhassaj1r
Milton p. Allie Washington. u. e.
William r. Anderson, Norfolk Va.
r. O. Arnold Mount Vernon. Ohio.
David Baird. Camden. y 4,
Frank :. Baker. Boston Traveller.
William Barbour. New York.
Frank y. BarksIs'e Pennsylvania Railroad
Charles J. Bell Washington. u. g.
Perry Belmont Washington. u. e..
Charles 6. Bennett Secretary II the Senate.
Gerald Beneut, Bosom Mass
J. g. Bennett Tirt~hug. ia.
Norman BesiCr. Washington. u. q.
Albert J. Beverley Senator from Indiana.
Cornelius e. Hiiiuz. Washington. -. &.
Norman !. Bl8CkUOTi. SurEC0u, L. :. y.
g. Lejyard Blair Ncw York.
Arthur Blanchard. Washington. d. q.
stephen W BcllCs NCv Ior5.
Jonathan Bourne. st.. Senator from Oregon.
George ". BOYD Pennsylvania Railroad.
Charles Bradby Nsv5rs \. !.
Joseph a. BTockCUS. fHcyUUe WE0.
Hilton L. Brown Indianapolis News.
W. H. BuRett Washington. h. q.
Theodore T. Burton. senator from Ohio.
\. W. Butt. CAPTAIN L. s \. aid 20 the pei
dent.
u. J. Callahan. Washington y. G..
David L. Calhoun. ~. Louis. No.
W J. Calhoun L. $. Minister o. China
Joseph &. Cannon. Speaker OF the House of Rep
rCseutatyes
Fred ". CARPENTER Secretary m the President
Thomas Il. Garter senator from Montana.
Frank II. Chapel Ncv london, com.
The Chinese Minister
\. W Church New York.
Champ Clark Representative from Missouri.
Edward L. Glars, Chicago Post.
rl[Tduk Clark. New York.
John NJ Clark. Chicago
Edward T. Colladay Washington. j.. O.
George L. Cooper. New York Herald
Samuel q. C0mwell Washington. ID. 9.
Robert Grain Baltimore. Nd.
Arthur +. Clist. lieutenant L. :. N. g,
a. b. Cummirs SCuator from Iowa.
James y. Curtis New York.
II Eradcy Davidson. Maryland.
Edwin Boileau De Graw. Washington. u. e,
Frank L. Denny. colonel. l.. $ NJ &.
Ch5mcay n. DeIsw Senator from New York.
J. T. Dolliy,r Senator from Iowa.
Il. Golden Donaldson. Washington.
II. j. Dunlcp, New York World.
Howard Baton. Wolf Wyo.
" G. Edgar Northwestern Miller MINI.
Arthur T. Evans Chicago III.
4. e. FAR. Pittsbug Gazette Times.
!. d. Perry Francis, s. Louis. No
Harry ". Fuller Washington u. e.
M T.. Gat.c ritisbar- Gazotterimes,
Julius Gsrfuklc Washington. ID. C..
John T. Gavit As~gciatcd Press,
george L. Gillespie major general Gcirei. L
:. 4.
T. Il, CLAWS. Portland UTcs.
James Gordon. Senator from Mississippi.
J. 7. Granger. Washington. H. e.
Gilbert h. tiToS-cUor Geographic Society Magazine
Simon GurgcuhciIa. senator frcm Colorado.
William Guss,nhCim New YORK.
George r. Hamilton. Washington p. C.
=. ". Hardin New FORK
n. Z. c. Harding. birmingham, Ala
The Washington herald., 1910-02-06
MEM.

CaUape Russo
Chatham Oysters
Celery Olives RadisleS
sailed Nuts
Essence of Chicken
Maine SnipltS
Cucumbers Marine
Rack of Lamb. BOurCe0iSe
TeTTapiu. Maryland
GTidirOn Punch
Quail en- Casserole
Eudiye salad
Peach Mejb8
Assorted Fancy Cakes
coffee
Martini Cocktails
Haut Sauterne
MOaG & Chaudou Imperial Crown
BTut CUyee "A
ApOliinariS
ITu4re aud trf-are+ra-
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1910-01-01
THE NARR0W RuAo PROBLEM.

1t is to be hoped that there will be
no PERCEPTIONS action in the matter of
changing the width of public highways
in Iowa. 1t is big question and there
is more than one side to it. Thorough
study of the proposition should precede
any legislation.
1.-THE vital point to consider in the pro-
ject of adopting a narrow road system
is in regard to its feasibility as applied
to the entire state and all highways,
regardless of the physical conditions of
the country they traverse.
The practicability of a narrow thor
oughfare in a level prairie community
is apparent In such localities there
is no necessity for very nigh grades nor
deep vuts and fills Hence if the teams
ter sees that he is going to get stuck in
the middle of the road he can drive
out to one side and get thru in some
way. But if the country thru which he
is obliged to pass is hilly, if deep cuts
have to be made to reduce steep grades
and the road has to be made high in
the hollows, the traveller is forced to
stay in the center, no matter what diff
hculties confront him. A glance at a
railroad track thru the deep cut of a
hill will make the situation clear to
bo-
it from the viewpoint of the farmer or
teamster.
cability of the narrow public highway
can be found in any county There are
localities where all the present width is
utilized and then the conditions are by
no means what they should be. Hills
have been cut down until the fences
on either side are ready to topple over
by being undermined and there is
scarcely room in the road for teams to
pass How can such condition be
remedies by making the road mar
rover?
One salient fact must always be
borne in mind in the consideration OF
the good roads problem. This is that
the material of which they are made is
dirt, and when this dirt is mud it is
bad. If we had gravel or crushed rock
to top dress the highways the narrow
system would be all right. Without
hard roads any change in the width
will have to be done with discretion.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1910-01-01
Dr.. Faunce to the Baptists.

Rev. DR.. w. H. P. Faunce, president
of Brown University, discussed the
open communion at the Baptist church
congress in New York this week. He
told his brethren that Baptists are
facing a crisis; that unity is in the
air, and that ritualisln stands in the
way of union. "Baptists of today are
not following after the practices OF
the fathers" he said. "They were in
dependent. Many of us are slaves to
form" He continued:
We condemn holy water, incense
and all other forms of liberalism as
idolatry, or the next thing to it. Our
immersion belongs with them, and
when we cling to form we are as idola-
trous as the rest. Practically every
body outside our ranks thinks we lay
greatest stress upon immersion, a
form. Our services in missions and
many other lines are forgotten. We
must disabuse these learned minds of
the notion that we run to a ritual in
stead of to real spiritual life.
DR.. Faunce referred rather contemp-
tuously to the discussions of the word
baptized" which he compared with
quarrels over the colors of states. He
wished one hundred Baptist ministers
would preach next Sunday from the
text, Jesus Himself Baptized not and
he said that Baptists are destined to
put aside their zeal for form and
lay emphasis upon spiritual character
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1910-01-01
For Sunday Reading
iii Sorts of Obinions
The Old Young Man.
IDr. Emil G. Hirsch j

The youth without enthusiasm is
senile and decrepit. This old young
man is self sufficient He seldom if
ever reads any books. He is hunting
for pleasure all the time. He knows
enough, he has seen enough, he has
heard enough to have all the wisdom
that he needs. He is finished in men,
tality.
Rome was the greatest empire of
the world. 1t collected tribute from
every field of grain on the earth Yet
1T fell, and why did it fall! Bread and
pleasure were furnished to all Romans
They were given food and the circus
with which to amuse themselves. They
made old men of youths
Youth is the time of creation. Live
so that the best is yet to come, even
when you arrive on the brink of the
grave. Browning preached that old
age is not the season of solitude and
seciusion. He taught that men of ripe
experience and wisdom are factors in
the progress of the world unless they
themselves seek retirement from the
world itself
Life is joy but not pleasure. Life is
struggle and the more pain we en-
counter the more of humanity and
morality there will be-
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1910-01-01
A DEAD YOUNG MAN.
IWaverlv Indenendent /

The other day we overheard young
fellow remark, isn't this the deadest
town you ever saw" Nuthin' dom
from one week to another" AS we re-
volved the question in our mind we
found ourselves standing up for the
town. Was the town dead or was it
the young fellow? This young man has
no regular employment. The reason he
has no employment is because he
doesn't want any. He spends his days
and evenings circulating from billiard
hall to saloon. Roller skating helps
entertain him and a public dance is
an oasis in the desert of dullness en-
comprising him. A day Of useful labor
is unknown to him. The majority OF
men find their chief enjoyment in their
work, but he isn't construed along
those lines. He might trudge all day
long thru the snow with a gun, but
labor ordinary labor the very
thought of it works upon him like the
recollection of bad meal. Conse-
sequently, no avenue of enjoyment is
open to him along this line. An even
ing at home with good book or mag
azine or the daily and weekly papers
this is dreary proposition to him
as means of entertainment. He never
had an education, not to speak of. He
might have had. His parents were
more than willng-they were anxious
to keep him in school. but he always
had his own way and so he cut out
school early in life as a bore. There
fore, he has no interest in reading any
thing but the Saturday Blade or Dia-
mond Dick stories, and it seems too
much like work to read much of that
at one sitting. Poor young fellow!
Thru his daily habits he has closed the
door to the chief avenues of real enjoy
ment. He has narrowed his own life
to a mere slit. His pleasures are linn
tied to only few things. And there
| is little hope for the young man. The
| habits he has formed are now quite
fixed. His tastes will undergo little
change from now on. He has become
a willing slave to his conditions. The
office of no business man calls with
greater urgency each day than the
loafing place calls for his presence. No,
the town is not dead 1t is the young
man.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1910-01-01
Topics of the Times

Judge Prouty's candidacy didn't begin
to actually hurt at Sioux City until
Dowell dropped out. Now it is painful.
Someway an old fashioned winter
isn't the supreme delight it used to be.
The Marion Register wants faction
alism buried deep. Well, that's the in
tention: when the matter is finally
settled by the votes of the people the
funeral will be over.
One of the best paths to complete
harmony is the decisive settlement OF
irrepressible issues.
The Cedar Rapids Republican is
complaining that Iowa has not a single
gold medal" football player But that
is hunting for trouble. Notice how
many gold medal engineers, farmers
financiers and the like Iowa has at the
head of the worlds list. Let's not
mourn over the lack Of football pre-
eminence.
The president is reported to be load
ed with a real conservation message
You may fire when you are ready
Gridley!" But fire.
But if football is reformed until ii
is impossible for one man to put OUT
another, will it be football? There is
difference between athletics and
pinochle which must not be forgotten
That million dollar reward for I'M
earthing the customs frauds doesn't
seem above par to Parr.
Probably the woman who was driver
out of her home by drunken husband
and who froze her feet travelling to
safety in the snow would agree with
President Taft that whisky is whisky;
and the woman who drank carbolie
acid in preference to living in a drunk
en- hell would agree with both Whisky
is whisky all right.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1910-01-01

as the big business" the head men
Of which are lauded as captains OF
industry" In other words. and in the
simplest language that can be used to
convey the idea, the younger people
of America are being taught that 1t
is right to steal, to loot, to rob, to
throttle competition, to gamble and to
avoid the payment of just debts, tolls
and taxes, provided it is done under
the guise of business
And the fact that much Of the pres
ent-day stealing is countenanced by
men in high places Is beginning to re-
suit in a feeling that, after all, such
disreputable business (?) methods are
not such a bad thing if they, too, can
indulge in dishonesty without fear of
punishment. Of they do not go as far
as that in thinking, then they make
themselves believe that it is all right
to charge, or extort, exorbitant pro-
fits on the things which they have to
sell, or the things which they produce
hence they are being bred into a race
of hogs. The spirit of fairness is be-
ing eliminated and its place is being
taken by spirit of selfishness. hog
gishness and even downright dishon-
esty. Nearly every person engaged in
nearly every line of business feels that
he is being gouged and cheated by the
great trusts which control all of the
commodities of life and by the rail-
roads and express companies which
control the transportation Of those
commodities. He is gouged unmerci-
fully by the telephone and telegraph
companies, so that, all around, he is
the victim Of fine system of gouging.
1t is human nature to try to get even
and this he does by gouging the fell
lows who have to buy of him. This
selfish, dishonest spirit directly trace
able to the operations of the trusts, is
in part responsible for the exorbi-
tant prices that now rule everywhere
in the United States. 1t is a case of
get all you can as quick as you can in
any way you can and let honest peo
pie look out for themselves. This same
spirit, bred by the brutal, hoggish
trusts, is rapidly undermining the spirit
of patriotism, respect for laws and con-
sequent respect for the flag that was
once the proud boast of American
people.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1910-01-01
A DECEMBER BUTTERFLY.
LGrundv Rennhlican

lGrunuy Republ1can.
A few weeks ago Will Bockes, of the
Star livery, came into possession of a
cocoon which he hung over the radi-
ator in his office Just to see what if
anything, would happen. AS matter
of fact the cocoon was forgotten, ex-
cept as the eye would happen to notice
it, suspended over the heater. But
last Thursday forenoon, while Mr..
Bockes was sitting in the office some
thing was doing in the cocoon and
the first thing anybody knew of the
proceedings, a great butterfly dropped
to the floor Perhaps it ought to be
said that what dropped soon became a
butterfly, because when it emerged
from the cocoon 1t did not resemble a
butterfly. In fact it looked like a yell
low slug such as is found on tomato
vines, but had a pair of small f1abby
brown wings. Fearing the big insect
would fall victim of the dog, Mr..
Bockes at once brought it to the Re-
publican office where it was placed in
warm show case. That was just be-
for dinner. At o'clock an unbeliev-
able Transformation had taken place
That yellow slug. with its little fabby
wings had developed into the most
gorgeous butterfly the writer has ever
seen in Iowa, with wings that meas
ured nearly five inches from tip to tip
and the body had shrunk at least one
half
Since then Miss Butterfly has made
herself at home in the show case in
the Republican office, putting in the
time principally, hanging at the end
of stick by her front feet. Incident
ally she has laid about two scores
of eggs will. if they hatch. increase the
supply of cate.pillars to that number.
1t is a singular circumstance that the
great beauty of the wings; the exquis-
lite coloring of the first day, has to a
considerable extent disappeared. The
colors are now much more subdued
and less brilliant. During it's first two
hours that butterfly had the rainbow
and the spectrum beaten out Of sight.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1910-01-01
Declining Nations.
I'M. M. Mangasarian.1

Seriously speaking, all the modern
nations are declining True, as a ma
ton, we have grown from small COL
ony to world power but are we
breeding men equal to our larger OPP
portunities? Look at our political life
Where are the capable, honest, strong
mayors of our cities which grow by
leaps and Jumps? Where are our gov
errors, our legislators, our public Of
ficials, who are cultured, competent,
honorable, patriotic, independent to fill
these offices? This is serious.
Our business has grown beyond our
ability to manage it. Corruption
spreads in all departments. Thieves
thrive. Instead of superior race, we
have. in the political field, at least, a
decidedly lower type of man-lower