davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02
The ls.shman,s Resource.

In his volume of essays. Dreams
Dead Earnest and Half Jest" Mr..
Coulson kernahan compares his COM
patriots. the natives Of the Green Isle.
with the English:
That your Englishman never knows
when he is beaten is the veriest plati-
tude. In all the world there is no ma
tionality which can play losing game
with such desperate doggedness. |
venture to think. however. that the
Irishman-and therein is perhaps 4
reason why he excels in the art Of war
is more rcsourceful, is quicker to
think and quicker to act.
An Englishman, finding himself in 4
corner SO tight that any one else would
decide at once that there was nothing
for it but surrender or retreat. says.
Here 1 am. and here I'll stick TO be
shot at till I'm killed or till relief
cones An freshman in the same place
would say: It's the mischiefs own
hole I'm in! But wait now! What
way II be getting out: And get out
the Irishman generally does. for he is
so resourceful that his resourcefulness
might sometimes be better described
as slipperiness'
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02
WORSE THAN WAR.
Internal Regions Of the euddhists and
Mohammodans.

Internal Regions Of the euddhists and
Mohammedans.
The internal regions Of Buddhism
are horrible. They comprise a great
hell and 13G lesser bells. In these
bells, according to the sculptures Of
the Buddhist temples, men are ground
to powder and their dust turned into
ants and fleas and spiders. They are
pestled in a mortar. The hungry eat
redhOt iron balls. The thirsty drink
molten iron.
Islamism says Of the Internal re-
giOns: They who believe not shall
have garments Of fire fitted for them.
Boiling water shall be poured on their
heads and on their skins, and they
shall he beaten with maces of iron"
In the Scandinavian mythology. the
mythology of Odin and Thor, We are
told that lin NastrOnd there Is vast
and dirpful structure. with doors that
face the north. 1t is formed entirely
Of the hacks of serpents. wattled to-
gether like wickerwOrk. But the SER
penis heads are turned toward the in
side Of the hall. and they continually
send forth floods Of venom. in which
wade all those who commit murder or
fOrswear themselves"
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02
CONAN DOYLE WAS LATE.

The Lonely Sehwarsnbaeh Inn and a
Literary Coincidence.
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle once walked;
over the Gemmi. He was much i'm
pressed by the desOlate appearance Of
the lonely looking Schwarenbach inn.
Here. 1t seemed to him. was an ideal
scene in which n novelist might locate
a story Of mystery and crime
He proceeded to invent story OF
mystery and crime suitable to the
creepy environment. 1t was story Of
murtler-the murder Of long lost son
Just home from the wars by his own
father the needy innkeeper. who did
not recognize him until after the deed
was done. but had resolved to kill and
rob the first lonely stranger that
passed that way with money in his
pocket.
THE very thing" thought Sir Ar
thur. and he went down the hill cheer
fully revolving the morbid conception
in his mini. Then a strange thing hap
pened.
After dinner. in the hotel mt Leuker-
bad. he picked up volume Of Maui
PEASANTS short stories and he found
that the French author had not only
been to the Schwarenbach inn before
him. but had actually located there =
story practically identical with the one
which he himself had just devised
Travel and Exploration.
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02
A TARc00LER FUNERAL.
Wood Was Scare, but They Managed
to Rig Up a Coffin.

Wood Was Scare, but They Managed
to Rig Up Coffin.
In some Of the mining districts Of
South Australia there Is great scar
city of wood. Consequently, II you are
so foolish as to die there you must not
expect to have coffin, but must be
content to be wrapped in a sack before
being deposited in Mother Earth.
However. when q certain very prom
inent resident of 4 mining camp died
the other people Of the settlement-by
the way, it was called Tarcooler.
though GOODNESS was unknown and
Tarhotter would have been q more
suitable name-determined that he
should be buried in style. So they set
about getting a coffin. They made one
Of n sort. placed a lid on 1t and laid It
with the deceased inside in an empty
tent for the night.
Next morning the lid Of the coffin
was missing. 1t was afterward found
that ii hal been stolen to make the
tailbOard Of butchers cart.
However. in spite of this trifling loss
the funeral was conducted with great
solemnity The coffin was much ad-
mired 1t had been made out of the
boxes in which the dynamite was sent
to the mines. Some people might have
considered that the Obsequies were
married by the fact that the coffin bore
in large letters on one side the legend
keep dry" and on the other ''Stow
away from boilers" but that did not
trouble the simple minds Of the Tar
cool-'unS.-LOndOn Tit-BitS.
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02
His Turn Came.

Ben Davis defeated President Madi
son for election to the Virginia house
of delegates after Madison had left the
White House. Old Davis, who seldom
wore coat. was sitting on a rail fence
on the roadside in Greene county one
morning when a young man dressed in
dapper fashion and evidently from the
city passed by.
Good morning." said David, with
the proverbial Virginia politeness.
To this the stranger paid no atten-
ton. In n few minutes. however. he
came to n fork in the roads and was
evidently in doubt which way he
should 20. He retraced his steps to
where Davis still sat on the fence and
asked him with great politeness II he
could tell him which way led to Stan
ardsville. Davis made no reply.
Twill you please tell me-" the youn:
man repeated. (which road ] take to
get to Stanardsville?"
You can" said Davis stolilly, take
any ID road you please."-Popular
Magazine.
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02
THE PRINCE WlNKED.
And Miss AIeott Was at the Other End
Of the Filtration.

And Miss Aleott Was at the Other End
Of the Filtration.
II seems an awful thing. but here Is
the circumstance on record that Louisa
NJ. AlcOtt, the sainted author Of Little
Women" once publicly flirted with Ed
ward VII. The fact comes out in Mrs.
Belle Noses hook, Louisa May Al
colt. Dreamer and Worker" There Il
q passage In the book which contains
Miss Alcott's personal account Of the
incident. II refers to the time when
the late king. then Prince Of Wales.
made his famous visit to this country.
Il went to Boston, Miss !AlcOtt re-
lates, land I saw the Prince Of Wales
trOt over the common with his train at
review-a yellow haired laddie. very
ike his mother Fanny W. and ! nod
ded and waved as he passed and he
openly winked his bOyish eye ut us.
for Fanny with her yellow curls and
wild waving looked rather rowdy. and
the poor little prince wanted some fun.
We laughed and thought that We had
been more distinguished by the saucy
wink than by stately bow. BOys are
always jOlly-even princes"
BY the way. this incident occurred
in 1860. when the Prince Of Wales was
nineteen years old and consequently
quite broth Of 4 boy. and when Miss
AlcOtt-we blush to record twas
twenty -eight.-New York Mail.
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02
The Gold Dust Was There.

North America has counted as q gold
producing continent only since the late
fOrties. But it might well have done
SO for about 200 years. According to
the London Chronicle. in the voyage
round the world which began in 1719
the privateer Captain ShelvOcke found
in certain California valleys ''a rich
black mold which, as you turn 1t fresh
up to the sun. appears as II inter-
mingled with gold dust. Though We
were little prejudiced." he adds.
against the thought that II could be
possible that this metal should be Sd
prOmiscuously and universally mingled
with common earth. yet We endeavOr-
ed to cleanse and wash the earth from
some Of II. and the more We did the
more it appeared like gold. In order
to he further satisfied brought away
some Of 1t. which We lost in our con-
fusion In China"
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02
The Maxine of a Business Man.

Tho Making OF Business man.
So many panes Of glass in cd Mr..
Viner's greenhouse had been broken
that he had ut last offered n reward of
10 shillings to any one who should
give Information rs to the identity of
the latest offender The bait soon
drew. A younGster called on Mr.. Viner
and Informed him that Il lad named
Archie Thompson was guilty party.
He received his reward. went away re-
jOicing. and the Old gentleman forth
with wrote to the local schoolmas:er
demanding the production of the said
Archie Thompson to make good ihr
damage he had done to his windows.
Next day the informer called again
The schoolmaster sent me-" he said
briskly. I've seen a glazier. and he'll
put your glass right for ; shiIIinSs
Here II Is, and
Not sofast. my lad" said Mr.. viner.
Have you come on behalf of Archie
Thompson7"
"Well, yes, sir, in n way" said the
boy. Fact is" he continued contiden-
tally. ''I'm himr'-London Answers
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02

They Were Not Mere Rings ~ Those
Of tho Modern Circus.

Of tho Modern Circus.
The arenas of ancient Rome were
not. as some people suppose. mere
rings or Ovals. such as may be seen In
the modern circus. They We're broken
up and varied in character according
to- the nature of the fighting to be
lcnc or to the caprices Of those In au-
thHr:fy.
On one occasion an arena might re-
semblc the Numidian desert. on an
ether tn" garden Of Hespcrides. thick
sci with groves Of trees and rising
Mounds. while again il pictured the
great rocks ara caves Of Thrace.
With H.. So surroundings the COM
batants advanced. retreated. encircled
their adversa,,es or kept wild beasts
ut b:y Us occasion offered or rs their
courage or fear suggested. Men com
bated not Only with the more common
brutes. but with such monsters IA eIe-
plants. rninoceroses. appropriateness
AMI Greco tlileS
On other occasions flOcks OF game.
such as der and war Ostriches. We're
abandoned tn the multitude. and In
sorlr ca'' =; the arenas could be turned
into lake.. filled with monsters NJ the
deep. AMI upon the surface Of which
naval engagements took place.-Lon-
don Saturday Review.
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02
Technically Gentlemen.

There is only one strictly technical
definition of gentleman-a man entitled
to bear coat armor. In the seven
teenth and eighteenth centuries It WAS
used with this significance. and the
secondhand bOokstall hunter will O.
casionally find ''So-and-so. gentle
man." written on dusty and stained fly
leaves. But this definition has dropped
out, for now any one may use arms
who chooses to pay for an arms L.
cense. The inland revenue takes your
guinea or two guineas without inquir-
ing rs to your right to bear arms. And,
though the heralds' college has the
right to grant arms to those who can
afford to pay the necessary fees. It
cannot prevent people from using
arms to which they have no right
London Chronicle.
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02
FLED FROM BOREDOM.
The Tale Of . Purpossiy Interrupted
Naehti0o Ceuino.

The Tale Of . Purpessiy lnterruPtsd
Yachting cruiss.
A Hr~ seasons back q well known
hostess chartered q splendid yacht for
August and invited a large number Of
her friends for q three weeks cruise. At
first all went we'll, though the party
was not specially well assorted, but
after q few days they began to evince
signs Of being somewhat bored with
each others company.
The hostess marked these signs Of
incipient boredom, which became more
plainly evident each day. and ut last
in despair she took counsel with one
of her guests. an old and experienced
yachtsman.
what on earth shall I do to amuse
these peOple:' she asked.
The yachtsman looked at the serene
sky and calm, blue water and shook
his head dOubtfully.
a storm would enliven them up o
bit" he said. but the weather looks
quite settled. There IS only one thing
to be done. You must arrange break
down; the engineer will manage that
all right for you. He has probably
often done so before. Then you must
make for the nearest port for repairs
and let your guests have a run ashore.
Some Of them. I expect. will find an
excuse for bidding you goodby and
those who remain with you will get
along all right together"
The hostess took her guests advice
and arrived at TOulOn a day later.
where nigh twenty Of her guests bid
her goodby.-LOndOn NJ. A. =.
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02
Hints to Swimmers.

An expert swimmer Is authority for
the assertion that vast majority of
the drownin. casualties which are at
tributsd To cramps are In all probable
ity the result of cardiac exhaustion
Nearly all experienced swimmers. h.
says. know that cramps when In the
water are of comparatively infrequent
occurrence. 1t Is commonly in the calf
of the leg. and the swimmer by lying
quietly upon his back without undue
alarm and stretching out the leg may
overcome this somewhat painful inv"l-
untary muscular contraction. The eX-
ertiOn Of swimming. however, Is fully
equal to the exertiOn Of running. with
the additional tax upon the system Of
a gradual lowering Of the bodily tenn
perature. II is one thing to know how
tn swim and quite another to be In
physical condition to do the swimming
London Globe.
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02
Ate Himself Thin.

A terribly emaciated man, about
thirty-five years Of age. was eating
four meals a day. including q heavy
breakfast. He was also taking milk
between meals. induced him to give
up the milk between meals and to take
only a cup Of weak tea for breakfast.
At once his weight began to increase.
1t is now normal. Obviously 1t was q
case not only Of ordinary mental wor-
~. but also Of worry and Overwork Of
the millions Of cell lives within him.
He gave the cells and organs a rest
and ut once there was a storage Of en-
ergy and weiGht.-MetrOpOli Maya
zina
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02
hlTcHcock.0ARTLEY.

We reproduce above . copy Of one Of
the letters between Congressman
Hitchcock and Joseph BARLEY. which
have caused such . big political sen
sation. Edgar Howard. one Of the
most prominent democrats In the state
and editor Of the Columbus Telegram.
produced Photographic copies Of q
number Of letters which passed be.
tween Mr.. Hitchcock and Mr.. BARLEY,
while Barley vas still holding the Of
nee OF state treasurer. and relating to
money transactions. BARLEY turned
out . defaulter to the extent Of over
half . million dollars of state funds.
and served . term In state prison for
the oRense. It has always been q
mystery where the money went. It
viii b noticed that the letter 10 ad-
dressed to BARLEY a. treasurer and
not - . banker or an individual. and
10 dated during the time that he was
treasurer OF the state. Other letters
and kilograms have been published.
which passed between Hitchcock and
Barley at this time. While Hitch
cock claims that the money he Dor
rowed Of Barley was Bartley's private
funds. most Of the newspapers Of the
state have scoRed At this explanation.
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02
Tho Most Important Thing.

Commander Peary. mt one Of the MI
merous Washington dinners following
his triumphant return from the pole.
got the better Of senator In u war OF
wits.
what is the good of your discOv-
ery:" the senator said. Ill wager that
YOU didn't find Il single important thing
ut the north pole.
oh. yes. did," said the explorer.
81 found one very. very Important
thing
.iiumph. What was that" the sell
alter -runtsh.
The way back home again." was
the reply.
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02
He Took the Blame.

'The guilty man always gives him.
self away" said detective. ''fOr. like
the chap who bought the forty-cenr
bathing suit. he can't hide his guilty
conscience. The chap have in mind
entered the water ut Atlantic City I'm
a fOrty-cent suit Of blue flannel. AS H.
splashed about he was joined by Il girl
friend. The girl flashed her iri"ht
eyes over the tumbling expanSc of sea
and then with Il sigh Of delight she
said:
isn't the water blue today
"It's Shameful said the man. with
a hot blush: it's perfectly shameful
how this cheap bathing flannel runs"
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02
A LAWYERS Paradise.

Naples. under Spanish rule in the
eighteenth century, was overrun with
lawyers. OF their profusion Joseph
Addison had this to say:
1T is incredible how great q multi
tude of retainers to the law there are
Mt Naples. 1t is commonly said that
when Innocent Nj. had desired the
Marquis OF Campo to furnish him
with 10000 head Of swine the mar
quis answered him that for his swine
he could not spare them. but If his
holiness had occasion for $4,000 law
yers he had them ut his service"
1t seems to have been a golden age
for lawyers. for. as the author says
there are very few persons of con
sideratiOn who have not q cause de-
pending. for when a Neapolitan has
nothing else to do he generally shuts
himself up in his closet and falls a
tumblins over his papers to see II he
can start a lawsuit and plague his
neighbOrs. and HYGIENE Ga
Zette
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02
Aorses Ic the Time of Honc,

The horses used i'm Homer'S time
were war horses. The warriors were
drawn in chariotS. The art of riding
was known. but il is alluded L" as
something unusual. Ulysses ut the
time Of his shipwreck 'beStrode 4
plank. like n h"rSeman on Il Liz st.ed''
There are reasons for believing that
the practice of riding WAS much later
than that of driving. and the myth Of
the centaur. where. according la Shake
speare. ''man is incorpscd and demina-
tured with the beast" probably orig
mated at an early period when the ap-
pearance Of man on horseback was a
novel sight.
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02
Advertised Letters.

Following is a list of unclaimed mail
matter remaining in the-post office at
Columbus, Nebraska, for the period end
ing November ., 1910:
Letters-Chas Z Anderson. II A Dietz
Mrs Alice Pinch. Emmett Ferguson.
Oliver Gray. II J Holcomb. S II Hudson
c. Lindsay.
Osrds-Miss Marie Brlttell. George
Boeme. John Dalton. George W. Gibson,
Oliver Gray. Miss CLARA Madison. Mrs
Lester Miller. Ralph NissIy. George 4
WestOver.
Parties calling for any Of the above,
will please say advertised.
CARL KRAMER, p. NJ.
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02
Spoiled 1t For Him.

Mr.. Clarke's butler had asked for q
night Of. for the purpose. as he ex-
planned. Of attending ball in the VII
lage. The next day Mr.. Clarke asked
him how he had enjoyed himself.
'Oh, pretty good. sir, thank you.'
was the response 1T would have been
better if it hadn't a-been for the wOm-
en-. I can't abide women at q ball.
New York Press.
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02

Having entered the church at Re
gensburs. in Germany. for the purpose
Of being married and taken his place
beside the bride, a man named Vail.
who seems to have been OF, a some
what nervous disposition. suddenly
rushed out Of the building. took q cab
to the station and jumped into q NOV
ing train. We have always maintained
that the bridegroom should be hand
cuffed to the best man until the con-
clusion Of the ceremony. 1t Is foolish
to take unnecessary risks.-London
Globe.
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02
How to Look Pleasant.

BY her gracious and cordial manner
the wife Of western senator has Ions.
charmed those SD fortunate as I" at
tend her delightful functions"
On one such occasion close friend
was abiding to the hostess graceful
method Of making every one feel ut
home. How Oh earth do you manage
to do it," the friend asked.
"Oh, it's easy enough" replied the
woman with the engaging manner,
"As each guest approaches to slrak"
hands just pretend to myself that
the person I am going to speak to is
some one like."-ChicaSo Record
Herald.
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02
A Beautiful 1houoht,

A little girl absorbed in gazing ut
the starry skies being asked Of what
she was thinking said. Il was think
Ing II the wrong side Of heaven is 50
glorious what must the right side bev'
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02
Happsn ness.

There Is an instinct In the heart Of
man which makes him fear a cloud
less happiness. 1t seems to him that
he owes to misfortune 1.-THE Of his
life. and that which he does not pay
bears interest. Is amassed and largely
swells debt which sooner or later he
must acQuit"
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02

Her Long Dream.
Estelle-Ah! His proposal was Just
IKE q dream!
Agnes-Well. you ought to know.
dear. You've been dreaming Of that
peUposal for years.
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02

Mrs. Robinson-And were You up
the Rhine? Miss Nurich Gust returned
from Il European trip,-I should think
SO. right to the very top. Wha; Il
splendid view there Is from the sum-
nit!
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02
VAGUE Information.

what dit! the fellow do who stole
the drum from the band when he saw
the leader coming with Il policeman:
lie beat Baltimore American.
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02
7 A'TMsatA

I A'ThrsatA
Immature Conductor Ito clarinet
playereSeei here. Mr.. Schlas. why
don't you Follow my lieat: Veteran
Clarinet (sohmn3y)-IfiyOusdon't look
ovid I win:-Puck.
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02
Ex.Presldent Roosevelt.

Ex.Peesldont Roosevelt.
IN speech at Omaha on September
I. 1910. ex-President Roosevelt said:
cnator Burkett was one of the men
whom I especially relied when
) president. both while he was In
House and In the Senate. l was
. accomplish what I did In
aiastOn only because Of the way
backed by men like Senator
=. t. and a We have q guest from
resent. let me Say. like Senator
light has one to criticize the
s,:.ay.. An election II he doesn't
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02

Bad men ex'.use their faults:A good
men willtleave ethem.-Jc hnson.
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02

Checrfulness Is III OffshOOt Of good
ness and wisdom IsOvee
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02

Duty and today are ours: results and
futurity belong to GOd.-HOrace Gree
ley.
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02
A Surpe6s.

Gertie-I 'wan1 to give> my sweet
heart a surpriseSOn his birthday. Can
you suggest son,ethinge kratel-Well.
you mightstell him your age.
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02

9easeoo enPellstts.
Senator La1baleets's Magazine. in
an article revieV11B Senator Burketts
work said:
TO get the GEuth about Senator
Burkett. you must get close. You must
study his record. When you do this.
you will SEQ that b 10 q progressive
progressing. You VIM ind that dur
ing the railroad legislation Of 1905
he took strong s61dss in the peoples
cause. You Win ind him forging
ahead with the 0srest handful Of re-
publican senator's IN support Of the
amendment 70 provide for the physical
valuation OF railroad property as .
basis for the regulations of railroad
rates. an amendment that was anathe-
ma to the system leaders Of the Sen
ate. You will ind him sprnging for
ward to the support of an amendment
to protect the railway employees and
to fix . just liability upon the rail-
roads for their injuries incurred In
this hazardous service. You will find
him afterwards charging the ramparts
Of the system in behalf Of the rail-
road company employees liability bill.
You will find him again voting consts'
tently, roll-call after r0ll-call. while
system senators were 'ducking' into
the cloak rooms to avoid the vote. to
put to passage in the Senate the bill
to promote the safety Of the travelling
public and the employees Of railways
by fixing q Teasoaable limitation on
the hours Of sallsoad employees en-
gagged in the Operation Of trains"
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02

Ex-President Roosevelt is having
great sport chasing opponents out OF
the jungles I'm darkest New York.
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02

After next 'TuaAlay the candidates
troubles will be over. but .N1u yours
The Columbus journal., 1910-11-02
SENATOR sURkET ENDORSED ~
INsURoeNT SENATORS.

The progressives among the repub-
lican senators are coming to the aid
Of Senator Burkett In his fight for re-
election. Certainly these senators are
In . position to know Of the work
Of our senior senator. and their judy
ment ought to b accepted by the hon
est Inquirer.