The Washington herald., 1910-10-13
THE BURGLAR AND THE ACT


rather taken aback. You must grant
er-the unusual nature OF your request
It's not every day one gets such an in
curry" Here an inspiration came. If
] might just ring and ask a clerk 10 bring
the schedules"
Il don't know what you're gassIn'
about Az know is you don't stir from
that ere chair I'LL you give me rate for
these six blokes o mine"
But, my dear sir. such an out Of tie
way sort Of risk really couldn't quote
onhand on my own responsibility. If
you like. I'll lay the matter before tho
directors at their meeting tomorrow
| and"
| Look ere. you're umbuggin', Wot do
this ere circilar O your say" The Wis
/ itor took up d paper from his capaciOus
| pocket and turned it over in search OF the
/ desired passage Il can't spot II just
/ now. bat it ran summat after this style:
/ Rate for every risk quoted on the nail
Now, you know perfectly well the risks
/ US burglars run. They amt light ones,
! I'll allow. or / shouldn't be ere, but as it
/ is, ! can't afford 20 run them myself.
/ 'Owever, my chaps are always harmed up
! to the teeth. if that makes any reduction
in he rate" and mis- hand went omi-
nously to his hippocket.
Precipitation broke out on the managers
/ brow: the situation was not improving.
/ He raised a protesting hand
! 'Pl-please-er-dO stop and con-
/ slider"
/ "Oh, Tiers one thing l might mention.
| guy nor. af0re you cast up that rate I
/ I wants to be covered f0- more than legal
! liability ! wants"-he consulted the cir
( cular in his hand-"extry binihts. as you
call EN-"
Extra benehts?'
That's it. Full pay for ev'ry week any
O. nay chaps spends in 'quod
In PRISON."
''Yaas' BY gum. il viii tottle up to
"a pretty sweet claim Il one o. them gets
! five years ard. won't it, But I'll make
them extra wary-wots the matter?
! In his rage and fright Tgfnell was talk
! ing incoheTently Nov at the direct ques-
ton he gathered up the few remaining
fragments Of his courage and let fly
Five years hard labor. That's just
what / shall get you COMPOUNDED idiot.
! if I give you a policy for this risk
Don't you see it viii be reducing burg
larry to a fine arte"
| Burglary is a folle hart. guv'nor. il
allys as been. Wot did ! read IN the
/ pipers the ither day bout some ere picter
or other? Oh. I know. It's hart said
the piper. was most eIo0sive.' That's iust
what burglary is Loike TO see me prac-
tisin' on that ere 'aLdkerchief IN your
tan pocket without your feelin anyth.n %
mo, thank you
Wal III stick 10 bizness. then. And
now. as my tonne is as valyble as yours,
let's ave that rate guv'nor. without any
more 'anky-panky"
Tufnell was al the end o. his resources.
The visitor stood between him and the
bell: there was no chance OF reaching u
unseen. a long corridor interviewed be-
tween his private room and The clerks
office; he would need 10 call or scream
very Justify 10 arouse attention. and.
even If he We're heard. several seconds
must elapse before assistance could ar
rive Besides, what was the uzee If he
opened his mouth 20 yell this lusty ruf-
fan would either shoot or have him by
the throat.
But the manager, though not brave.
was very stubborn man. st this june
ture he looked up and saw William sykes
regarding him with peculiarly irritating
smile-and that dosged obsJnacy OF his
got the better Of his discretion.
I'm dashed II ! quote you a rate Il
you stop here TIL doomsday."
Then the aspect Of William Sykes
changed. In a trice he had pulled or
his coat, rolled up bis sleeves. and was
advancing pUgnaciousIv
oh, that's your game, is il? Then
|, III just make YOU"
Tufneus heart came into his mouth.
He wanted 20 rise and meet the attack
but felt glued to the chair. Sykes was
waving his arms wildly il the air Ike
a demented windmill. In a moment those
brawny arms would come within range.
would descend on his poor. defenselesH
head, and then sters-and nothingness.
Tufnelrs last yesJige of courage had
oozed away.
Five guineas per cent" he cried in
despair. shutting his eyes.
I'm very much obliged indeed" said
, a low. gentlemanly voice
Tufnel opened his eyes. The visitor
was quietly putting on his coat.
/ Il hone I haven't given YOU much of 4
, fright" said the Same voice. I'm only
sorry that I had 10 proceed TO such ex-
IRENE measures.
The manager was recovering.
You, sir. who are you?"
Not a burglar-only a humble actor"
And what the dickens do YOU mean"
: Il can explain IN a sentence OF Two.
1 believe that you practically govern az
fairs at the Eysium Theater. In the new
play 10 be produced there one Of the
: chief characters. as YOU probably know.
Is that OF a burglar. The manager -
? short-sigbted enough 20 be favoring for
the part q wholly Incompetent actor, and
has refused me every opportunity OF
proving my mettle Ny one chance, I
felt. was 10 get into your presence and
show you what a capable burglar I could
make I venture 20 hope that have
proved my ability
: The manager sasped. But II was
gasp Of immense relief He knew. OF
! course. that he should now De desper-
ately angry at having been taken in. He
was only profoundly thankful that that
bloodthirsty burglar had suddenly merg-
ed into this mild-mannered actor.
And so, Mr.. Sykes"
Pardon me; SyEe IS was only assumed
for stage purposes. My real name is
Stoddart-Vincent Stoddart"
And so. MIR. Stoddart, you thought 10
intimfdate nle?"
THE power OF my own impersonation
was too much for me I was simply car
/ rgs7 or-o,. T. 49,, 90, -. - - -.