Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-21

need for he said to me in a reflective
tone. is a sort of Everyday Book of
Lies A little brochure like that would
save tired people like myself. for example
lot of trouble. For instance if there
were such book on file here at the pres
ent moment I'd be spared not a little irk-
ing thought. I'd just turn over to the
section Of the book devoted to the particu-
; lar KIND OF lie that l desire at present to
employ. and there it would be- as pat as
fellows strictly original toast that he
gets out Of a Book of Toasts" I'm 60
Ing to suggest the building Of such a book
ance. 1t could be called "The Handy
Liar or "One Thousand Pat Lies or
Lies For Every Occa sion." or something
equally descriptive and satisfying. In the
meantime. hang it all, 1 wonder what I'm
going to and the rest of it dribbIed
OF into sort of humble l was too busy
with other eXcusers a minute or SO alter to
listen to what kind Of an excuse he was
giving his wife over the phone: but I'll
bet 1t was an ingenious one
That's the worst Of it, by the wav-the
wheeling, deceitful way the men who in
vent these deliberate yarns tell them to
their wives over the phone. I can't help
but overhear good deal Of that stuff on
the line, and sometimes I feel as il /
could jump up and shake the men who
are telling their wives those shocking.
bamboozling stories that I've heard them
make up In talk with each other only a
minute or SO before.
Well. man will say to his compan-
ION. III see if 1 can uncoil that one on
her. ana ne gives me the number and
goes into the booth. Presently l hear him
making his little opening talk.
X
Doll heart the horrid rufian SAYS
to her In sort of languishing tone,
Is that you? B'jinks. but it's nice TO
hear your dear little voice. honey bug,
Say. little wan. there wasn't a chance
on earth for me to make. the dinner
thing at home this evening" and then
he plunges in and unreels the dread
ful story he has made up 1t sure
did make me sore he goes on then.
to be kept downtown like that t. a
million times rather be moochinz
around the little nest with my blubbsy-
Wubbsy. and you know it, but
and then he goes on with a lot more
like that. perhaps winking all the time
at his grinning companion standing
outside the booth. and 1t certainly is
enough to give anybody what they
call the biggest kind OF line on men
and their ways.
Not. OF course. I am glad 10 say.
that these men get away with their
III every tiihe' OF any tHinS
IKE every time. AS a matter OF facH
1 should say that they don't put their
yarns over more than about once fin
three times and notice that the men
who succeed in making their stofies
stick are usually the youngish sort OF
married.
The thing. by the way, that gets
all OF these phone excusers Is a little
intimation from the wife that she ~ go
ing out herself That's the one hum-
Der they can't stand. 1t stampedes
them every time when wife 1T the
other end of the line says ind sort of
careless tone that she doesn't mind
how long they stay out. because she's
1t gets en- every time. and they never ,
fail to become sober and somber and
gloomy -jawed right away and to beat
1t up to. their homes Is fast as they
can travel" c. L. O.