The Washington herald., 1910-03-24
LITTLE PROBLEMS OF
LOVE AND MARRIAGE
Should 6ian Marry Women Older Than Himself?

This is so much an age Of independent:
thinking and acting that traditions and
conventions are being shattered on all
sides and one that Is receiving many
hard blow is that the woman shall be
younger than the man she marries-
From time out Of mind this has been
accepted as the necessary fact. But peo-
pie nowadays are beginning to question
it, to ask why is 1t necessary. One OF
the most noted women TO break through
this established custom was a famous
English beauty who a few years ago
married her sons chum, a young fellow
no older than her son. The marriage. of
course. aroused widespread comment. But
the couple so far seem to be happy.
Another wedding that caused much talk
among friends and aeQuaintances was
that Of a man of twenty-six and woman
who already had a grandchild. 1t was
not the silly marriage It would seem from
this mere statement, for the man was
a brilliant young writer and the woman
an equally brilliant artist. He Is as de-
voted to-day as when they were married
and so supremely happy that he Is the
wonder of his friends.
Still another marriage OF this char
acter was that Of a man OF twenty-eight
and woman of thirty-eight. both bust
ness people who first met through bust
ness. Their home IS one OF the most de-
lightful that one can enter and they are
the embodiment OF quiet content and
happiness.
One could mention many others and
In all these instances the couples do not
seem in any way to regret the step. But
several things are to be noted. The men
as a rule are men who care nothing for
convention or tradition. They are the
progressive men of to-day. the independ-
ent thinkers. absolutely Indifferent to
criticism; men who believe in living their
lives IN their own way and who care
nothing for what anybody may say. The
women in several OF the instances were
both beautiful and talented in every
case. the sort Of woman who keeps
young in spirit and so keeps young
in appearance. None Of them looked
their age. They certainly did not feel
it. In addition. they had that expert
ence that comes with years that self
control. that judgment OF men and wom-
en- that makes life go smoothly and that
knows how to make husband happy
and a home pleasant.
In such cases as these. age does not
matter. It does not, In fact, exist Spirit
meets on common ground. There is
eongeniaIity OF tastes. There is real COM
partnership and there Is that mature judy
ment on the part of the woman that is q
help to the man and a rock in times of
storm and stress.
But 1t is only exceptional characters
Ike these who will be happy married
when the woman is much older than
the man. When It is only a difference
of few years. 1t does not matter; but
when the disparity mounts up to five and
ten years and more, It is an unwise step
for the average person. the person who
has always lived conventionally and is
sensitive to what people say.
Theoretically. of course. years in the
abstract have nothing to do with love
or the happiness of marriage. Practical
ly. however. it is another matter Years
stand for certain things with those who
think and live in conventional ways. The
average woman does not want to look
older than her husband nor does the
average man like to go about with
wife who appears almost old enough TO
be his mother. They may think they
won't mind. but they viii when people
talk
Again with the ordinary person, with
the coming of age. tastes change and
while the two might start out on almost
the same plane. ten years would make
more difference to the woman than TO
the man. He would still be young while
she would be getting settled and staid.
AS a rule. it is an unwise step, likely
TO lead to much unhappiness for a man
10 marry woman much older than HIM
self. II is only safe for those excep-
tional characters who can see the hollow
ness OF worldly conventions, who meet
on a common ground OF congeniaI tastes.
and with whom IS no old age. for youth
Is ever in their hearts. BARBARA BOYD.