davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09
KING Of THE COCOs
Bachelor of 80 Inherits Throne
and Vast Estate.
Is Absolute Monarch Over maisys
inhsbiting the coeos Keeling
Group Of Islands-capitaI
Has Population of 700.

London--His Majesty. Sidney I. the
new King of the Cocos Keeling
Islands. is in London engaged over
late king. his father, whose estate has
just been proved al the value Of over
100000. exclusive of his properties
In the, islands.
The new king received a representa-
tive OF the London Leader in the ante
room Of a city Office in Wilmington
avenue. and consented to be inter
viewed with a readiness that Is re-
markable. to say the least OF IT. on
the part of reigning monarch
King Sidney is a tall. spare young
man of about 30, as brown as a
beechnut, with high cheek bones.
close-cropped black hair. a carefully
trained mustache. and a soft, caress-
Ing voice He was completely dis
guised in well-fitting clothes of gray
and patent leather boots An enor-
nous emerald glowed upon the little
finger of his left hand-a Jewel such
as none but a king dare wear. and
from his watch chain dangled a medal
of gold. struck in commemoration Of
the discovery OF the Cocos heellng
islands in the early days of the seven
teenth century
Pray be seated" said his Majesty.
producing an aromatic cigarette. THE
court l receive here is quite unoffi-
cial. l assure you. At the royal pal
ace Of New Selma 1t might be differ
emit" He waved his hand airily.
81 am plain Mr.. Sidney Clunies Ross
here; and when l get to Cocos l shall
have quite enough of kingship to last
me lifetime It's true that when /
am at home ! shall be king with
more power than most monarchs. with
a royal palace that cost fortune to
build. with my own laws to administer
in my own way. and no ministry to
worry me.
In my kingdom" continued his Ma
jesty. there are neither police nor
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09
Lovers Wedding Cake.

Four pounds of -four of love, half q
pound Of buttered youth. half pound
Of good looks, half pound Of sweet
temper. half a pound Of self-forgetful-
ness, half a pound Of powdered wits.
half an ounce Of dry humor. two table,
spoonfus of sweet argument, half =
pint Of ripping laughter. half wine
glassful of common sense.
Then put the flour Of love. good
looks and sweet temper into a we'll
furnished house. Beat the butter Of
youth to cream. Mix together blind
ness Of faults. self-forgetfulness. pow
dered wits, dry humor into sweet argu-
ment, then add them to the above.
Pour in gently ripping laughter and
common sense. Work 1t together un-
til all is well mixed. then bake gently
forever.
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09
AN INToLERABLE ITCHING

Just about two years ago, some
form OF humor appeared on my scalp.
The beginning was a slight itching but
It grew steadily worse until. when I
combed my hair. the scalp became
raw and the ends of the comb-teeth
would be wet with blood. Most of the
time there was an intolerable itching.
in a painful. burning way. very much
as a bad. raw burn, II deep. will itch
and smart when first beginning to
heal. Combing my hair was positive
torture. My hair was long and tan
gled terribly because of the blood and
scabs. This continued growing worse
and over half my hair fell out. l was
In despair, really afraid of becoming
totally bald.
Sometimes the pain was SO great
that. when partially awake. l would
fnger-tips would be bloody. l could
not sleep well and. after being asleep
a short time. that awful singing pain
would commence and then / would
wake up nearly wild with the torture.
A neighbor said 1t must be salt rheum.
Having used Cuticura Soap merely as
a toilet soap before. l now decided to
order a set Of the Cuticura Remedies
-Cuticura Soap. Ointment and Pills.
used them according to directions
for perhaps six weeks. then left on.
as the disease seemed to be eradi-
Gated. but toward spring. eighteen
months ago. there was a slight re-
turn of the scalp humor. COM
menced the Cuticura treatment at
once. SO had very little trouble. On
my scalp used about one half a cake
of Cuticura Soap and half a box Of
Cuticura Ointment in all. The first
time took six or seven bottles of Gu
ticura Pills and the last time three
bottles-neither an expensive or te-
dious treatment Since then I have
had no scalp trouble of any kind.
Standing up. with my hair unbound. It
comes to my knees and had 1t not been
for Cuticura l should doubtless be
wholly bald.
This is a voluntary, unsolicited tes-
umonial and take pleasure In writing
II. hoping my experience may help
someone else. Miss Lillian Brown.
R. :. D. 1. Liberty. Me-. Oct. 20. 1909"
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

stage business. and in all our differ
ences We each preserved respect and
admiration for the others work I
wrote in" bits of dialogue at rehearsal
for delightful persons who had not
nearly enough to say for the salaries
they received. took home certain
pathetic scenes very dear to me. and
brought them back next day wreathed
in smiles; as everybody concerned.
from the Olympian head himself to the
fourth stage assistant. detested tears
and approved of laughter. both on
moral and financial grounds. Why they
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

soldiery. / am chief magistrate and
commander-in-chief as well as king.
Just as my father was before me.
settle all disputes. civil. ecclesiastical
and moral, I may tell you that as
heir apparent / ran the regency In
my late fathers absence. and SO serv-
ed useful apprenticeship to the bust
ness ! am now succeeding to. I think
I've got the hang of the islands. SO to
speak, and I don't anticipate any trou-
BILE when 1 come into my kingdom.
The principles of government have
been simplified since my great-grand-
father reigned as first king Of the
Cocos Keeling group.
I'VE are strictly a moral communi-
ty. No drunkenness is allowed. and
beyond the little whisky that Is doled
out from the palace. no intoxicating
liquors are obtainable on the islands
There was a time. not SO long ago,
when the natives manufactured their
own fire water. They brewed a con-
coction from cocoanuts, which they
called palm toddy.' They got drunk
on it-nastily drunk-and the result
was a law prohibiting every possible
variety OF palm toddy. Today. SO far
as I know. there isn't a drop Of that
toddy obtainable on the islands"
His Majesty went on to describe
the principal city of the island group
and its domestic life. New Selma is
its name. and its population is barely
70O-all. with two or three exceptions.
Malays, of whom Inin, the Queen
Mother. is one. New Selma boasts a
modern school in which Arabic and a
little English are taught. and the
young idea is trained in the tenets of
Mohametanism. which is the religion
of all proper Malayans. All marrying
and giving in marriage has to be done
through the New Selma registry office
after his Majesty has approved of
the union. To understand the divorce
laws Of the kingdom 1t is perhaps
necessary to be a New Selman; they
are a little complicated. Like his
father before him. the new king was
sent to Scotland (the home of his an
cestors) to be educated.
1t Will be only in accordance with
the fitness of things II King Sidney
marries in the islands. as his forbears
did. His grandfather married the
beautiful Sinia Dupong. a Malay Of
royal Scion blood. whilst the late king
espoused Inin. 'the dusky queen"
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09
Surgery on Heart

Surgical operations upon the heart have become
more or less of n commonplace In medical history.
Something approximating 100 OF the sewing
up OF heart wounds record, and the
cries have been considerable when one considers
the highly dangerous character OF such work. Hith-
erto. however. heart surgery has been limited
cident cases.
In n recent issue OF the annals OF surgery of
the workers at the Rockefeller institute for
medical research discusses the possibility of
treating diseased hearts surgically. He has made
numerous experiments animals and believes
that such operations will be successfully performed
on human beings in the future. His tests
have convinced him that the heart can be opened
scraped out Cleaned SO to speak,. sewed up and
started on on its beating" path again without any
great. at least insuperabe. difficulty. BY in.
genious system OF side piping and channeling
he is able temporarily to cut of the circulation
portions OF such important vessels the descend
Ing aorta the largest artery in the body. without
killing the animal Among his suggested opera
lions Is one on the coronary arteries OF the heart
for the cure of angina pectoris.
This doctor has apparently proved to his own sat
fsfaction animals that successful surgical inter-
ference with tho great vessels and heart itself
is possibility. 1t is. of course a long step from
these experiments to actual operations on human
beings but there is every indication that the latter
feat VIII be attempted in the future The in
tractability OF cardiac affections and their high IA
tally make the proposed surgery n thing of
great general interest and may Justify the extreme
holiness OF the proposal sS0i'0
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

Philadelphia--Although the Phila-
delphia mint coined 146.000.000 PEN
MES last year. and many other millions
In years before. the mystery Of where
the little coppers go still is unsolved.
and Director of the Mint George E.
Roberts estimates the big plant will
make another 100.000.000 this year.
Pennies. more than any other sort
Of coin. disappear from circulation
mysteriously. The government does
not mind coming them. for 1t yields a
fine profit. A pound Of copper. costing
now about 10 cents. will make one dol
lar in pennies.
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

and white lights. and there IL the eiecuic tofcn
for unofficial messages.
The American navy has been the most sue
cessfuI military organization. from It's very incep-
tion which the world has ever seen That is
pretty broad statement. but II is absolutely true
There are good reasons for this.
In the early days were a commercial people
We were natural saiormen. Our people lived
along the shores They made their money In
commercial pursuits. The men who commanded
msechant ships were not only good sailors; they
ves- good merchants, and the foundations for
many of the great fortunes of this country have
come from that source. In order 20 protect them
selves they Obliged to go armed. Their
ships were armed were privateers In time OF
war The result is that they not only knew navi-
cation, but they knew gunnery and combined
with these qualities the Intelligence winch makes
great merchants.
Naturally, when those men came into positions
where they commanded men-of-war. they were
equal to the occasion. although they had had no
naval training. As time went on they acquired
naval training. so that in the later wars, In the
early part Of the nineteenth century. they met
every requirement. and in the recent wars the
graduates of the Naval academy have been equal
to every duty which has been imposed upon
them. They have made record OF which every
American citizen should BIO proud.
The American sailorman has always been EN-
Client They were good men In the time OF the
Revolution: competent men In the time OF tho
war of 1912. They are better men today than they
them arc American citizens. and not a man is
shipped in the American navy who has not de-
clarcd his intention to become n citizen. Twenty
five years ago not more than 30 per cent. of our
menof-war's men were American citizens.
Tho American navy has been successful be-
cause our ships have always been good ships
as any that built in tho world Our merchant
men, in the Revolutionary times. and down to
the Civil war. were the best merchant ships sail
ing the seas. They were. doubt the best
manned. and they made the fastest time. During
the period Of wooden ships when we built men,
of.war they were of tho same general character
Our men-of-war. gun for gun. equal to. and
probably superior. to those of any other nation
We have always been able to shoot better than
most people. Go back to the early times to the
revolutionary war. We lost "a men-of-war. carry
ing less than 500 guns. in the Revolutionary war
while the British lost 102 menof-war, carrying
more than $500 guns. We captured 800 Of their
merchant ships and It is not too much to say
that II It had not been for the damage caused by
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09
Mrs. Wiggin as Playwright

opaque to all dramatic situations!" no
would exclaim: and I would retort:
"And stage managers seem to be blind
and deaf to anything that Is simple
md human and natural"
THAT will never go over the foot
lights" he would assert.
Then let It go through them for
changed" would reply.
He was wonderful with the children
rs well as most Ingenious in invsnting
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09
Beware of Ointments for catarrh
that Contain Mercury,

mercury VIII surely destroy the sense Of Eznen
and completely deranse the whole .ystem when
articles should never Be used except On presenp-
viii do 10 ten fold to the good you possibly de-
rive from them Hails catarrh Cure. manufacture
by =. J. Cheney 4 Co.. Toledo. o.. contains mer-
curry. and Is taken Internally. acting directly upon
the blood and mucous 1yrfael1'of tho system- In
genuine Il Is taken inteAheliy and made In Toledo
Ohio; By 7; ;. Cheney g Iestimooi.is free.
Take Halls Family Pilis fsr constipation
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

Paris.-Good results are said to
have been obtained in France from
the feeding Of sugar to overworked
horses. Excessive strain and conse-
quent exhaustion as result Of slip
perry roads were lessened in those AMI
mails which were fed sugar daily.
Some horses rendered UNIT for service
BY overwork were restored to normal
strength BY . liberal mixture Of sugar
with their feed.
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

William Dean Howells. discussing
realism at one of his Sunday after
moons in New York, let fall neat
epigram on hope.
Hope" said the famous novelist.
'is not, really. an angel in a dia-
phanous robe of white. but only the
wisp Of hay held before a donkey's
nose to make him CO."
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

On the bridge.
likewise. we hnd all
the paraphernalia
for steering the
ship. including the
great wheel. the
electrical control.
the compasses. the
chart board. with its
stores OF charts and
all the other me-
chanical adjuncts
for keeping the
huge vessel on the
proper course. Here.
too. are the seeming
ly simple devices
W h ! C h n o W CO n
troll the manipula-
ton of the huge
searchlights perched
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

deplored my gentle April showers Of
pathos when the rivers of tears that
now In such plays as Madame x"
wash thousands of dollars into the box
office. shall never understand, but
SO 1t was.-Kate Douglas Wiggin. In
Harper's Bazaar.
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

Baseball claimed nineteen lives dur
ing the season just closed. Perhaps
all the unsafe and insane elements Of
that sport are not perched on the
bleachers.
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

The first stereotyper" who died
the other day must have been the in
ventor of that stereotyped phrase: is
it hot enough for your"
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

er free from dull
pain in my back
Ny hands pulled and
my feet became so
swollen / could not
wear my shoes. The
kidney secretions
were painful and
frequent in passage.
/ gradually grew
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

weaker until the doctors gave up hope.
1t was then began with Doan's Kid
ney Pills and soon improved. Con-
tinued use cured me-"
Remember the name-Doan's.
For sale by all dealers. so cents q
box. Foster-Milburn Co.. Buffalo, n. 7.
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

ED GEERS. 1.-THE grand old man." he
Il called for he is SO honest handling
SPOHN'S DISTEMPER CURE for IL
years, always with best success. 1t is the
only remedy know to cure all forms Of
distemper and prevent horses in same sta
BILE having the disease" Soc and 81 bot
tle- All druggists, or manufacturer Spohn
Medical Co.. Chemists. Goshen. Ind.
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

The aviators seem to have caused
the world to lose interest in those
other bird men-the actors who are
playing "Chantecler."
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

Vegetarians don't have much tiou.
BILE in convincing bacon eaters that it
is better to eat nuts and vegetables
than forty per cent meat.
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

the American navy we would not have
won the Revolutionary war at all;
that is. it might have been necessary
later to have fought that war over
again
The same relative skill prevailed In
the War of 1872. Our ships Of the
same class were superior to the ships
OF our opponents. This statement Is
confirmed when we study the exact
figures. For instance. in the Hornet
Peacock contest the British ship lost
five men killed and 81 wounded. out of
a crew of 100. while the American
ship had but three wounded-this in
eleven minutes. In the Wasp-Frolic
fight the British ship lost Is men
killed and AZ wounded out of n crew
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09
WELL AT LAST.
Terrible Kidney Trouble Cured After
Doctors Gave Up Hope.

Mrs. F. ". Hill. 1ss W. 10Th St.
Waterloo, Iowa, says: 1T makes me
shudder to think OF my awful suffer
ing. was languid and weak and new
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

The balloonlsts who nearly starved
in Canada should have taken the pre-
caution to borrow the Wellman cat as
a mascot before making their start.
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

1t is going to be a hard job for i'm.
migrants to get their first view OF
Liberty Statue after this. on account
of nocks of bird men flying around
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

Hojax-You say Dixmyth has a sub
lime faith in humanity?
Tomdix-He certainly has. Why.
he even believes that his wife believes
everything he tells her"
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

A parasite is said to be destroying
turkeys in Canada. Plain appetite
works the greatest havoc in their
ranks in this country.
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

Caruso's new title Of royal Prus-
sian chamber singer" conferred by
the Kaiser. ought to be good for
dollar a head more in this country.
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

The survival OF the fittest isn't al.
ways what 1t seems. Think of tho
swift death that comes to the last
hardy flies that survive the first
frosts.
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

A man never amounts to much as a
politician until some newspaper
springs the deadly parallel" on him.
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

II must be remembered that the
football casualties do not include the
students who make their threats per
manently lame from the rah-rah habit
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

The moving picture show cannot be
accused Of increasing the stage-door
"Johnny's crop.
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

There are no automobiles in Haiti.
Chicken raisers there must find life
worth living.
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

The st. Louis aviator who has cut
the price of flying lessons to s. each
VIII be giving trading stamps next.
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

A conventional man IL one. whose
action you can predict ahead Of time.
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

Bacon. at 40 cents pound. seems to
have broken the high altitude record
for meats. Now why not let the mo-
tor rest and come down a bit?
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

Being cautious man. no doubt Mr..
Barney Oldfield will refrain from polk
ing fun at Mr.. Johnson regarding his
automobile defeat-at least while
within reach of those long arms.
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

II a straw vote were taken on the
matter. we are prepared to believe
that about nine out of ten individuals
would declare that aviation is getting
far more newspaper space than it de-
serves.
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

up aoft on skeleton steel towers-a means OF mahae.
ing the searchghts which is not only more rapid ou'
effective than the old plan OF turning mem .hs
wav and that nv manual labor On the bridge. too
no end OF signaling devices for experimenting the
wireless telegraph in communication with other SHIPS
or with the shore. There signal nags Tor use with
various codes and with the always useful "wigwag;
there are s.maphore and Ardos systems Tor signal
ing night by OF different combinations OF red
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

II is about this time OF year that the
world braces itself for terrific
shock Of disappointment when word
comes that the turkey crop Is far be-
low par.
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

Our idea OF an unbeatable champion
is one who combines unequaled dex-
terity as a boxer with indispensable
skill as typewriter.
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

Fecke-Were you ever on an auto
mobile?
Fecke-I don't know. l was merely
on the front dashboard for the frac-
ton Of a second, and before / could
pick myself up 1t got away.
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

HE modern batfleship IN
!. !. I. !. !: !.
NN a marvel of concentra-
~ ton and space economy
~ IA There is no room for
W. H things purely ornarnen-
III EfA tai, but every foot Of
m } M suace ia used to some
%-p.-,HV uurpose in connection
SGE with the storage or OPP
M Grafton OF the myriad ad-
W tuncts necessary for the
work, the safety and the
comfort OF the hundreds Of men VINO
crowd one Of these floating fortresses-
II one were to choose. however. the
one section Of battleship which
above all others Is a yeritable nest OF
wonders and surprises choice would
unhes.tatingly fall upon the bridge
that elevated structure which IL SO
appropriately named and which ex-
tends the full width Of the deck on the
forward part Of the ship-in front OF
the huge smokestacks. as a "land lub-
Der" might designate its location
For one thing. we find on the
bridge an even greater array than any
where else on the ship Of those re-
markable mechanical and electrical
devices which do so much of the
work on shipboard that would seem
to require human intelligence. But
the bridge has in addition spe-
ciaI Significance which muluplies
many times It's Importance and the
interest OF It's equipment 1t is the
nerve center" OF the ship. the seat OF
authority and command which directs
all the operations within the bounds
OF the big armorclad. and also the In
tellirence office through which this
warahip community communicates
other vessels of the feet and. indeed.
with the entire outside world.
Under ordinary conditions when
the battleship is cruising at sea. par
ticlpating in battle drill or target prac-
titse or engaged In any Of the other
important functions Of sea warrior
the captain commanding. the navigat-
Ing officer and other responsible off,
cislH OF the ship have their positions
on the bridge In time Of actual battle
those directing heads Of the fighting
machine would not expose themselves
on the bridge. but they would not be
far away. Sheltered by coming tow
ers or some other protective screens.
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09
JUST FIGURE OUT

Suppose you pay 1890 n month rent
In 10 years YOU pay si,sOO.0o and
do not own the house. Suppose you paw
us an average of $500 per month In 10
years you Will pay us $1.50O.OO and NOT
only live In the house but also own II.
Agents wanted everywhere NATIONAL
National Bank Bldg, Denver. Colorado
The Lamar register., 1910-11-09

Benjamin Franklin entered Ph.ia-
delphia with penny loaf of bread I'M
der his arm-but that was long before
the bakers knew how to boost prices.
children.