Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-10-21
For an Idle Moment.

| NOW, FldneTty, SAID Lne magistrate,
sternly, ""the evidence shows that you
threatened to assault these two men,
Murphy and Finnegan, and that you
| actually assaulted Murphy. You are
fined So 1Os.'''-- ~
"Plaze. yer honor" said Flaherty, "if
[ had assaulted Finnegan, too, would it
have been esp ss .sa:4
Certainly it WOULD replied the mag
istrate, firmly.
Thin, here's the money" cried
| Flaherty. Nov, come on, Finnegan:
come out on the strate behind the court,
and let me get my sos worth"
A Scotch preacher had in his congre-
cation an old woman who was deaf. In
order to hear the sermon each, Sunday,
this old lady would seat herself at the
foot of the pulpit stairs. One day the
sermon was about. Jonah, and the
preacher became very rhetorical. az.
"And when the sailors threw Jonah
overheard" he said,"a big fish swallowed
him up. Was it a shark that got i'm?
Nay. my brethren, it was ne'er shark.
Was it a swordfish that eat him?
Nay" ...t 4 s.x
1T was whale" whispered the old
lady excitedly. .ea An
Hush, Biddie," said the preacher, in
dignantly. Would ye, taxi tn word of
God out O. yer ane meenister's moUth?"
An Irish tramp one day wandered into
country churchyard, and seating him
self on new mound, deciphered the
following old inscription: Dear friends
as you pass by, as you are now, so once
was [; as am now you'll surely be, so
prepare for death and follow me-" The
Irishman scratched his head and fishing
out an old stub pencil underneath:
ITO follow you I'll not cOnsint, till |
know which way ye wint."
Casey says: "It's m0ighty good thing
the world is round instead iv square,; if
it wor square there would be four
corners, and on thin corners would be
the bafe trust, the, oil trust, the coal
trust and the sugar trust, all fgerin' on
gettin' another corner"
An American and Highlander were
walking one day on the top of one OF the
Scotch mountains, when the ScOtchman,
wishing to impress his boastful cousin"
produced famous echo to be heard in
that Eplace. When the echo returned
clearly after nearly four minutes, the
proud Scotchmau, turning to the Yankee,
exclaimed: "There, mon, We Gamma show
anything like that in your country" To
which the other replied, II guess we can
better that some, stranger. Why, in my
shooting lodge in the Rockies, when |
60 to bed just lean out of my window
and call out, Time to get up; wake upp
and eight hours afterward the echo
comes back and wakes me-"
Bishop William A. Quayle, in an ad-
dress in Oklahoma City, said:
"The east talks of the ignorant and
goddess west, but the west might we'll
talk, at least, as regards certain sections
of the goddess and ignorant east. "a,
"The eastern section have in mind is
the younger social set-the idle young
men and women OF vast inherited
wealth. Ayoung millionaire and his wife
from this set gave dinner to visiting
bishop recently, and when the party sat
down at the table the young millionaire.
for the first time in his life, resolved
that in the bishops honor a grace should
precede the meal. So he raped with his
fork for silence and then stammered:
"Er-would you mind, bishop, pro-
nOuncing-er-a benedictineT"
% agf ~
The wife of a retail merchant, whose
name is withheld for obvious reasons,
was irritated by the non-arrival. Of GER
tain articles she had ordered from the
butcher ...s.-.... .-r..,z rr- tsf
She called up the, butcher shop and the
flip youth who drives the delivery wagon
answered the phone. rs.5
did you attend to that order for Mrs.
X?" she asked Indignantly. aa
you bet your silk sox | did, came the
reply. s, .es...-..ss ..=sa z-rsst
whats that?" she gasped.
"You can go and bet all your lingererie
pronounced as spelled) attended to
everything"
"Do you know to whom you are talk
ing?"
"Surest thing you know, I'm talking
to Kitty" (the maid).
"You are talking TO Mrs. K" she de-
clared, sternly. 4
"Oh well then" in apOlOgetic tones