Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-10-21
RED TAPE EXPERT
An East Indian Clerk Who
Stumped an English Official.
BEAT HIM AT HIS OWN GAME.
In the Fine Art Of CireunnIoeution Babu
Tara chand Made His Pretentious
Auditor General Appear Like a Rank
Amateur-A True Story.

hlC ouDllOstu " USE Etu
freely, but the supply In London is
nothing to what 1t Is In India. Let
us outline briefly the true history Of
Babu Tara Chand. late Of the subordi-
nate branch of the Indian civil serv-
ice. The story is true.
Babu Tara Chand was deputy sub
assistant clerk In the cutcherry of a
deputy collector In the Swankbagh
district of southern Bengal The In
land postage rate In India at that
period was three pies, or about /
farthing, for letters weighing one tola
One fine day when the officials had
concluded the annual or biennial over
haul of the books of the cutcherry II
was discovered that by some un-
heard of turpitude one stamp of the
value Of three pies q farthing) had
been unaccounted for. The stamp
could be clearly traced to the desk
and control of Babu Tara Chand.
Thence 1t had disappeared.
Babu Tara Chand was not summa-
rily dismissed; neither was he made
the target of criminal prosecution. In
stead he received a lengthy letter on
blue foolscap paper, pointing out in
detail how certain property of her
most gracious majesty the queen en-
press-to wit, one Indian postage stamp
of the value Of three pies-had been
committed to his care on a certain
date and that up to the date of writ
ing no adequate explanation had been
Forthcoming of said postage stamp.
The communication fell upon the
luckless Tara Chand like a bolt from
the blue. 1t left but three courses
open to him-viz:
(al Resign from the service.
(b) Explain the disappearance Of the
farthing postage stamp in a manner
deemed satisfactory by the auditor.
(c) Recoup the farthing,
OF these three courses 1t will be
obvious to any person with the shall
lowest knowledge of the Bengali char
acter that the third one (c) was from
the outset beyond the pale Of con-
sideration. The first (a) was also too
terrible to contemplate. Therefore
Babu Tara Chand sat down and COM
posed letter which was a masterpiece
in its way and In which he requested
to be relieved from routine service for
period Of four weeks to enable him
to make such search among the rec
ords of the department. etc.. as might
enable him to trace the missing stamp.
This reasonable request was readily
granted.
Four weeks later Babu Tara Chand
applied for a further term Of two
weeks wherein to draw up report
upon the results Of his investigations
in pursuit of the errant postage stamp.
This, having passed through the eight
cen or nineteen different hands neces-
sary for such an application. was in
turn duly granted, and at the end Of
the fortnight Tara Chand submitted a
report Of PIG foolscap pages. explain
ing that, despite the most diligent ef.
forts and inquiries on his part, he had
been unable to secure the slightest
clew to the cause Of the deficiency.
When the department Of audits and
accounts had fully digested this docu-
ment and presented report Of the
same in official precis to the auditor
general the auditor general through
general of the presidency Of Bengal
notified Babu Tara Chand that 1t was
not wholly satisfactory and that the
circumstances bearing upon the loss of
the stamp would have to be definitely
explained and proved or the deficit OF
three pies would have to be made good
Babu Tara Chand stuck to his guns
and wrote again. He wrote many
times. As often as he wrote his ex-
plantations the auditor general wrote
signifying his official dissatisfaction
with the same.
Eventually, one fine day about nine
months subsequent to the discovery Of
the loss and some two years subse-
quent to its alleged preparation. the
auditor general-his interest In the
matter Of farthing postage stamp be
ing overwhelmed in a frontier wal
budget-sent an ultimatum to Tara
Chand. The loss of the postage STAMP
would have to be definitely explained
or its value. the sum Of three pies, be
duly refunded to the treasurer Of the
Swankigabh district.
Then Babu Tara Chand became pos
sessed of an inspiration which ever
to this day is pointed to with pride
and complacency by even the most cir
cumlocutory of the red tape depart
ments within the purview Of the gov
ernment of India.
Babu Tara Chand wrote to the audi
tor general as follows:
Sir-In reply to your memo. of 7th inst
l have the honor to state terrible conf1a
grafton of my cook house on 9Th inst.
hopelessly annihilating all documents II
the case Of lost postage stamp of thre'
pies, property of her most gracious maj
esty the queen empress Therefore b!
grace of God and under regulation para
l3,459, section cXxxi of departmental reg
ulations, volume 81 (BengaD, l request yol
forward for my information complete
copies OF entire file of correspondence II
this case, so that l can report again upol
same to your satisfaction. have tn
honor to be- sir, your most obedient, hum
| BILE servant, TARA CHAND,
Deputy Subassistant Clerk to the Deput,
Collector, Swankibagh.
The auditor general never replied
| Tara Chand had won his case.-Lpu