Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1910-08-04
ENDING A
QUARREL

mere was not bit of doubt that
the young woman was angry. The
more she thought it over the angrier
she grew. 1t was inconceivable that
grown-up man could have been so
foolish as to get up quarrel with her
over nothing at all-for that was what
had happened the evening before.
She didn't in the least know what 1T
was about, though she had vivid
recollection of his saying it was all
her fault and of her insisting that it
was his fault. He had had some
weird idea that she had picked the
quarrel herself out of curiosity as to
what he would do. At this accusation
she had passed from surprise through
injury to anger Now in broad day
light she felt certain that nothing on
earth would tempt her to take one
step toward reconciliation. She would
stand on her dignity, inasmuch as she
wasn't to blame.
OF course she felt rather sad about
it, because she was aware that the
man never would give in first and say
he was sorry If he died for it and nei
Their would she and naturally that
meant the end of their friendship. Men
did nothing but make one miserable
anyway and she was tired of them.
She was hunting out a pamphlet on
social settlement work and was re-
solving to devote her time in future
to elevating the poor and worthy and
appreciative when the postman rang
the bell.
The man had written, in very black
ink with pen strokes that shrieked
emphasis, long screed and had had
the effrontery to send it to her. He
had headed it, can Essay on Woman.
by Cynic." She sat down and I'M
folded the sheets of paper with the
tips of her disdainful fingers and start
ed to read.
Being a cynic," ran the document,
II can say anything l want to about a
woman, and as already have the rep
utation of being morose and churlish
can sink no deeper in the oblivion of
feminine disapproval. Anyhow, what
care 1?
''In starting scientific and search
ing essay such as this we should first
get it firmly fixed in our minds what
a woman really is and the most de-
scriptive words of her which can
think of at the present moment are
'doggone peculiar
Nov, having conveyed to my read
ers mental picture of woman, SO
that If the reader should chance to be
an inexperienced youth he will imme-
diately cast his eyes elsewhere when
in the presence of one and thus avoid
a large amount of this worlds troubles,
will proceed with my discussion.
in speaking of woman it, does not
pay to go too much into detail about
her, for most of them are SO different
that it makes a detailed description
impossible. In fact, l have known
them to be different AGO times an hour.
You may rest assured that in the mat.
.er of being different they are all alike.
Now, what effect has this on man
will tell you it makes cynics of us!
| hurl this fact back at the feet OF
femininity, which when it wishes to
cast aspersion on man calls him
cynical Cynical! If women care
fully thought over this word they
would not use it so gayly, for in real
ity it simply means wise-worldly
wise! Yes, friends, we are wise to
the women and this is what makes us
cynical Far be it from their intent
to call us wise, though they might ad
nit that we are worldly.
81 do not like to talk about woman
this way behind her back, but we all
know that we never would get 9
chance to talk if we didn't do it be
hind her back! Cynical! How thai
word describes my feelings this dark
gloomy day! My head is full of recol
lections of how a woman fed me com
pliments last evening until / swellee
up and strutted around like pigeon
and 80 minutes later / was nothing
but shifty-eyed angleworm waiting
to be stepped on!
"All for why? Because a foolish
girl got tired of the plain sailing she
had had for weeks and wanted to still
up a tempest! She wanted nice lit
tie tempest, one that she could sto1
when she chose by waving finger a
it and murmuring: Stop, tempest!
So she began to rock the boat ant
whistle for rough weather. At las
accounts the tempest was still on
though a good brand of oil judiciously
applied sometimes has been known tt
calm raging waters. But it has to bt
good quality and applied with {
soothing touch"
She folded up the sheets Of papel
and then she laughed in spite of her
self. When she stopped laughing sht
said something that sounded like per
feet idiot" Then she took down the
telephone receiver.
"Hello!" she said when he answered
Come out tonight and bring tn.
tempest along-I'm going to stop it,"
Changed Front.
/