Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-06-03

Fopfcs
Black buy all of my wife's dress
es. Brown-So do l, but never pick
them Gut-St. Louis Star.
Stella-I wouldn't marry the best
man on earth Knicker- Have ask
ed yor2 t0?-Harper's Bazaar.
How did you enjoy your vacation
Fine! 1t made new man of mel"
II congratulate your wife. "-Cleve-
fand Leader.
do You know. Imogen. your hair
reminds me- OF Syracusef" Pray
why?" Because it's so near Au-
burn, Cornell Widow.
Music Teacher Why don't you
pause there7 Don't you see that it's
marked "rest"2 Pupil-Yes, teacher,
but l aren't tired--Iife
Knicker-How large is their sub
urban place? Bocker-Large Why.
they have to have folding beds for the
flowers York Sun.
What was you askin' for the wild
der's bonnet mumf" "Well-er-I
thought nine-penee" "'E's very i'll.
mum. / think I'll risk 1.-THE Tat
tier.
TraVeler-But. waiter, | only order
ed two eggs. You have brought three.
Waiter-I know, sab, but | thought
possibly one might fail-Leslies
Weekly.
Little Willie-Say. pa. what ia
worldly wisdom2 Pa-Worldly wis
| dom. my son, Is a perfect knowledge
of the failings of our neighbors -Chi-
1ago News
Salesman-Shirt. sir VIII you have
negligee or stiir bosom? Customer
--Negligee. guess. The doctor said
| must avoid starchy things Boston
Transcript
She-There goes Mrs. Strongmind.
She says her husband never spoke
cross word TO her but once He-Yes;
YOU should have seen him the next
iay.-Home Life
| This talk OF enormous canals on
Mars seems TO fascinate you" said
one statesman. Yes" replied the
1
bills ~ Washington Star.
Does your wife cry when she gets
angry?" Yes" answered Mr., Meek
ton. "It isn't the heat of her temper
that distresses me 80 much as the
humidity Washington Star
Physiology Teacher Clarence you
may explain how we hear things,
lClarence-P tells EN- to me as &C.
Cret and ma gives EN- away at the
bridge Cleveland Leader.
: "scribbles writes some very pleas
ing verse" Indeed? I've never heard
Of It pleasing anybody" Evidently
you've never observed its effect on
Seribbies - Birmingham Age Herald.
Got an automobile to sell for $4O?"
Not yet" answered the good-natured
dealer, but you can get into the
game for that money Why not buy
a tire to carry around ?"-Pittsburg
Post
Stun WoTker-What well.behaved
Iitue boy he isl Burglars Wife-And
he comes by It natural, ma'am. His
poor father always got his sentence
reduced OWN to good behavior
Stray Stories,
II don't like To go to a play and be
kept in suspense all the time" Meth
Or DO T. Last night thought the
woman In front of me wasn't going to
take off her hat, but she finally did"
Louisville Courier-Journal.
This popular fiction is all bosh, In
real life the girls father seldom OBJ
ects TO the man OF her choice"
You're wrong there. He often OBJ
] }ects, but he's usually too wise to say
J anything. ~ Washington Herald
DO you know that there are mil
lions of germs on dollar bill?" so
I've heard, but If they expect to trans
fer themselves from the bill TO me
while 1t is in my possession. they'll
! have to step ively,"--Birmingha
AgeHerald.
The Rev. DR.. Putemtosieep-D Deacon
Goodleigh walked right out Of church
In the middle OF my sermon. won.
der If / offended him. Mrs. Good.
eigh--Don't let that worry you, doc
tor. lie has been a somnambulist for
years, Philadelphia Record
She's the meanest woman l know
Of"
What makes you say that when
you don't even know her to speak
TOT" Il know. but she's the woman
On the other half OF our party tele
phone line - Detroit Free Press.
J Il have a little volume here be-
! gan the agent Cit out an shet the
ioor, durn you'll" shouted the victim
4 hain't got no use for no sech
! lrash!" Yes you have" countered
The caller This is a treatise on
Good Manners and Good Grammar"
Cleveland Leader.
Nervous and inexperienced Host
rising hurriedly at the conclusion OF
song) and-er-ge gentlemen.
1efore he started to--er-sing, Mr.
Bawnan asked me to apologize for his