Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-11-11

to remark during the interval between
salad and dessert, Il ran into the
queerest customer. 1t was in little
town away back from the railroad. and
l pretty near made up my mind that
it was the for-sure Egypt of the Nile
before l got away from him. What
that old codger didn't know about an
cient history and religion and philoso-
ply would make a mighty small VOL
ume. Never had as hard customer
to get away from. I'd sold him seven
cases of shoes and"
Speaking of liars" Brown broke in,
with seeming irrelevance, whereat the
other members of the Saturday Dinner
club sat up and took notice. 1t was
Mrs. Briggs who dropped into the
breach with
Horace neglected to say that this
man has the buying for big plant
that employs several hundred men
with families. He doesn't just run a
little one-horse country store"
You don't think he was giving me
the signal to upset the table on his
head, do you, Vera?" her husband ask
ed, trifle tartly.
The other peacemakers in the club
assured him that Brown had merely
been unfortunate in the selection OF
his remark and that to a rudimentary
intelligence such as Browns all an
cient history was mass of fabrica-
oiled
and the storm passed by. Dull quiet
reigned at the table until the Nessel-
rode pudding arrived, and then it was
Johnson who calculated:
Anyhow, speaking Of liars, I've got
a box of cigars out at the house that /
intended to tote down here with me to-
night. Bring 'em next Saturday night
sure! Got 'em from a feller that
couldn't tell as straight yarn as he
thought he could. And you just better
bet 1 held him up for good ones"
Were you the only one in on it?"
Brown wanted to know.
Yep"
Huh, that's nothing. The chap 1
started to tell about when all this
rucus began"
He hesitated, and then the club
knew that Brown was a wee bit sore.
With exquisite tact Mrs. Briggs urged:
do tell us about him. l once made
a study of lies and liars, and I'd like
to have your experience to add to the
collection
"The Joke wasn't on the spinner of
yarns, but on the other shaps," Brown
rejoined, apparently much Modified.
1T was over in Indiana and before /
struck town l began to hear about Lem
Brown. Sort O. got under my hide, be-
cause that was my grandfather
name, and 1 made pretty sure that
chap was some kin to me. All my
folks on my dads side were Hoosiers
originally, and you don't pick the name
Lemuel off of every family tree. Well,
the more l heard about this namesake
of my grandfather, the more l wanted
to know if all the country was lynn
agin him, or if he really was such an
artist at it as they made out Now
YOU know, in the wholesale drug busi-
ness we have to go after the contrac-
tors a bit, and I'd been talking to an
Evansville builder about one OF my
side lines when something I said put
him in mind of this same Lem Brown,
and he reeled off a string o yarns a
mile long that Lem d worked off on
one man or another in town. Said he
never would bite, because he knew
Lem too well, but the fellow sure was
a daisy if you could judge by the stuff
he poked down the other peoples
throats.
This contractor put me next to a
good stroke of business in formalde-
hyde and the rest of the truck that's
used in fumigating. He happened to
be putting up a big house and barn
about four miles out in the country for
a doctor who ran a big hospital in
town, and the doctor was out at his
country place that day. He'd always
bought all his supplies in Chicago, and
1 happened to know could give him
tempting price on the very thing he
needed right then, and maybe get his
whole trade for my house, so | didn't
want to miss seeing him. l was just
trying to figure out how I'd work it
when the contractor said: 'S'pose you
come on and ride out with me. have
to 60 out this afternoon to look after
the workmen, and you can see the old
doc where you won't have any inter-
ruptins.' Well, that looked pretty good
to me, so along l goes. Never had a
finer drive in my life that is, the first
half of it. We'd got about two miles
out from town when we saw somebody
coming toward us at lively trot, and
the contractor says: Bless my soul, if
there amt Lem Brown himself" AS
we come together, the contractor calls
out to him. Say, Lem, this here's
namesake of yours, and he's been hear
ing about the whoppers you tell, and
he wants a sample. Can't you spin
one for him right hot often the bat""
Il didn't know they used a bat in
spinning" Miss Simmons interrupted.
She has an antipathy to mix meta
phors
That's all right, Agatha" Brown
soothed; you see, you don't know
either baseball or brcklaying. There's
spinning in both professions, and l
reckon this forty second cousin o
mine went in for both of 'em. My
friend hadn't any more'n got out of his
mouth what he wanted when Lem
says. Sorry 1 can't accommodate you
right now; but really hain't time to,
spare You know that's the way the
backwoods hoosiers talk. He goes on,
If you bring your friend around toI
Marsdens drugstore tonight I'll do my
best to entertain him. Just now I'm
on the dead run to git to town. The
boy that was shingling the barn out
at Doc Clayton's fell off and broke his
leg and Doc sent me in town fur to