Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1910-04-01

o'--S AAAS"' ASo, oLiC Ids q uUu-
bic chin."-Cleveland Leader.
MY husband was very high-strung
person." Yes. I've heard he was
hung on Pixies Peak" Harper Week.
ly.
Sister-Well, Harry, how are you
getting along with arithmetic? Harry
oh, pretty well. We're in dismal
fractions now.
Mrs Jones has new hat" well,
you look nightly pleased about it?"
You just ought to see how it looks on
her."-Houston Post.
What do you think? Mrs. Zizzel,
who never goes to church, has won the
first prize in the church lottery!"-
Meggendorfer Blaetter.
They say Harold Coddington has
brain fever" Impossible. Could an
angleworm have water on the knee?"-
Chicago Record Herald.
Novice-They tell me that man
can't go into politics and remain hon
est. Old Stager-Yes, he can. But 1t
isn't necessary-Chicago Tribune.
why don't you give your wife an
allowance?" II tried that once, and
she spent it before l could borrow 1t
back."-Louisville Courier-Journal.
What do you figure is the result Of
college education?" THE young man
learns to yell for the money, and the
old man to whistle for it!"-Puck.
Blobbs-Harduppe says he owes ev.
erything to his wife. Slobbs-Hard.
uppe is double distilled prevaricator.
He owes $40 to ome.-Philadelphia Rec
ord.
Inquirer-Did Miss Howells voice
fill the hall? Critic-Well, 1t filled the
lobby. Nearly everybody went out
there when she sang.-Huntingto Her
aid.
Have you heard that poor Firmin
is dead?" mo. He wasn't Ill long,
surely" "Ah, you see, medicine has
made great progress lately."-Bon vi.
want
Ted-Isn't Tom thinking rather seri.
ously of getting married? Ned-He
couldn't have thought very seriously
about it, for he has gone and done it.
Brooklyn Life.
II wonder who the people are in that
machine who look so haughty"
Probably the poor relations of the
owner, who is taking them for SPIN
Buffalo Express.
Wifey-You promised that II would
marry you my every wish would be
gratified. Husband-Well, isn't 1t?
Wifey-No; l wish l hadn't married
you.-Illustrated Bits.
"Sir, your son has Just coined col
lege fraternity. These college fraterni.
ties" Never mind about breaking
it gently. What hospital is he at?"-
Louisville Courier-Jonrnal
my good man." said the kind old
lady, stopping before the prison cell,
what are you in for?' Robin de
guests in a hotel, num-" "Ah, were
you the proprietor or the head waiter?'
Wifey-You were late last night.
Hub-Beg your pardon, my dear. AS
came in the front door the clock struck
IL. Wife-But what time did you ar
rive at the head of the stairs?-Boston
Transcript.
"And why" the teacher continued,
Should we hold the aged in respect?"
Cause it's mostly the old men that
has all the money" Tommy answered.
And the teacher wasn't able to offer
any better reason.
Bessie-I gave Charlie on Christmas
beautiful necktie of my own make.
Tessie-Was he pleased? Bessie-Im.
mensely. He said its beauty shall be
for no other eyes but his own. Wasn't
that lovely Of him?
Jones-Green bought a secondhand
automobile three weeks ago, and he
has been arrested six times In 1t.
Smith-For exceeding the speed limit?
Jones-No; for obstructing the street.
Chicago Daily News.
De Artist-You say you walk great
deal? De Actor-Yes. De Artist
When you are playing golf? De Actor
Sometimes when l am playing golf
and sometimes when l am playing
Hamlet.-Chicago Journal.
"Old Moneybags is afraid that prince
he bought for his daughter is bogus
one." why so?" when 1t came to
settling up he asked for the princes
debts, and the fellow told him he
hadn't any."-Baltimore American.
"Ynlr plasses. - she said. "haye ,nada