Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-05-10
MAXIMS OF MARK TE AIN.
Things That Sound Funny But Which
Are Full of Wisdom.

"To be good is to be noble: but to
show others how to be good is nobler
and no trouble"
Noise proves nothing. Often a
hen who has merely laid an egg cack-
les as If she had laid an asteroid."
Training is everything. The peach
was once a bitter almond; caulifiower
is nothing but cabbage with college
education"
"The autocrat of Russia possesses
more power than any other man on
earth; but he cannot stop sneeze."
Habit is habit, and not to be
flung out Of the window by any man,
but coaxed down stairs a step at a
time"
"One of the most striking differ
ences between a cat and a lie Is that
the cat has only nine lives"
when l reflect upon the number
of disagreeable people who l know
have gone to a better world, l am
moved to lead a different life"
"The true southern watermelon is
a boon apart, and not to be men,
toned with commoner things. 1t is
chief Of this worlds luxuries, king
by grace of God over all the fruits
of the earth. When one has tested
It, he knows what the angels eat. 1t
was not a southern watermelon that
Eve took: we know it because she
repented."
BE good and you will be lone
some"
Few things are harder to put up
with than the annoyance of a good
example"
1T were not best that we should
all think alike; it is difference of
opinion that makes horse races"
Even the clearest and most per-
feet circumstantial evidence is likely
to be at fault, after all, and there
fore ought to be received with great
caution. Take the case Of any PEN
Gil sharpened by any woman; If you
have witnesses, you will find she did
1t with a knife; but If you take sim
ply the aspect of the pencil you Will
say she did it with her teeth
april l. This is the day upon
which we are reminded of what we
are on the other 364."
"The English are mentioned in the
Bible: Blessed are the meek, for
they shall inherit the earth"
Adam and Eve had many adven-
lures, but the principal one was that
they escaped teething."
There is this trouble about spe-
cial providence-namely, there Is so
often a doubt as to which party was
intended to be the beneficiary. In
the case of the children, the bears
and the prophet. the bears got more
real satisfaction out of the episode
than the prophet did, because they
got the children"
There is no character. however
good and fine, but 1t can be de-
stroyed by ridicule, nowsoeVer poor
as witness. Observe the ass, for IN
stance: his character is about per-
feet: he is the choicest spirit among
all the humber animals, yet see
what ridicule has brought him To-.
Instead of feeling complimented
when we are called an ass, we are
left in doubt"
Consider we'll the proportions OF
things. 1t is better to be young
Junebug that an old bird of para
disc"
why is it that we rejoice at
birth and grieve at a funeral? 1t
is because we are not the person in
volved."
"All say, How hard it is that we
have to die'-a strange complaint to
come from the mouths of people who
have to live"
1T is easy to find fault, If one has
that disposition. There was once
man. who, not being able to find any
other fault with his coal, complained
that there were too many prehistoric
toads in it."
"When angry, count four; when
very angry. swear
THE holy passion Of frienship Is
of so sweet and steady and loyal and
enduring a nature that it will last
through a lifetime, if not asked to
lend money"
"'Classic' A book which people
praise and don't read"
"The man with n new idea Is a
crank until the idea succeeds"
Truth is stranger than fiction, but
il Is because fiction is obliged to stick
To possibilities: truth isn't