Albuquerque morning journal., 1910-12-11
AND VANQUlSREO
TARGETS FOR CRITICISM
Miss Democracy Finds Trouble
Selecting Presidential Candi-
date and Is Finally Relieved
Of Task by Wall Street
rBy 3oruins journal special Leased wlrsI

gresa. latent presidential possibilities.
neB.ly-eieeted governors 1T states and
men of mark 10 various positions and
ali shades Of political belief and ann
baasad0fs and ministers pienipoienii-
AIRY Of foreign countries Wno were
numbered among the clubs guests
heard with wonder the good natured
/ griliing administered by the newspa
permen e. their victims with tableaux
and comedy sketch and topical song.
IN clever speech ana moving picture,
the incidents Of the last campaign
were recalled and grim forecasts made
Of the future.
ANA right wittily and with many a
lscintillating thrust Of ora tory did the
objects Of this attention retort upon
their torsnentors Forgotten for the
moment were party differences. victor
and vanqulshed joined hand and glove
: IN reDeliing the attack % their critics
Clearing the way Tor the incoming
democracy. Uncle Joe" Cannon was
swept aside and IN a skit embodying
q parody upon the Mikado he was
sentenced To- decapitation. IT was left
10 him to select his eXecutioner. Vic
tor Murdoch he declared was too
haety' while he feared Senator La
Toilette would talk him 70 death The
man be selected as OF strong arm
ana sure. an old friend. was ''KO ko"
Longworth Just in the nick OF time
President Taft in the person of the
Mikado stayed the hand of the execu-
tioner and commuted Uncle Joe's'
sentence t0 staying in congress as q
helpless minority and to being chain
ed 10 his seat during the debate on
the house rules The catchy chorus OF
me Mikado's song ran
MY smile rs still serene
Az plainly may be seen"
NO matter how they may jump
the track ana batter the old ma
chine"
For ! am lHite ctrtent
ITO do the work tha. " cant
For Il big American president"
American president"
a furious cracking IF hips md
clanking Of chains nn rOars al
'geddap' ana stamping % hoofs, sig
naiizcd the approach II "a fumultuous
party from outside. IL portrayed the
redemption of Champ Clark famous
anti-electi0n pledge 10 ride down
Pennsylvania avenue behind q team
Of mules If he were elected speaker.
The actor VINO represented Mr. Clark
was clothed la farmers costumes
With big whip, oyeralls wide felt hat
and hickory shirt. He WAS riding q
tNeo-wheeled cart cracking his whip
and shouting ct his mules. christened
'BoD" and "Fitz Dragging behind
in heavy chains were Cannon, Dal-
zell and Payne At every other step
the ex-speakcr yelled defiantly, die
tatori Car"
Ollle Jemcs introduced clark as the
new speaker, and the latter promptly
sentenced his prisoners 60 various
punishmentg. such as the assignment
of cannon to the chairmanship OF
the committee on Disposition or
Useless Paper" twhcre the Aldrich-
poync-Smoot tariff WAS conslgncd),
while Payne ana Dalzcll were to be
tramplcd hy ollie James Clark un-
dertook TO define his polices, but had
only & ttcn 20 the point whore he de-
clarcd for iree trade when the party
roll up in "a row.
Fov Of the guests at first could
rcccenize the dainty little lady Miss
Democracy iu the brawny, big
musplod. largo-Waisted and bass
voiced fcmnle IA evening dress who
cupied m solitary state the place
of honor on the democratic band
wagon which drew uu on the stage
Hangiug on were NAriouF candidates
for the presidential office, but the
ladk while COY, Wus also finn in her
60 her suttors She announced that
SHE WIS not simpcring old maid
hut WAS militant, that she WAS TAX
ing this ioy ride for the first time IN
sixteen Years and ndd chartered IL
ior quite spell TOO. When the
president sought to cxpel her she de-
fled him saying that he talked like
r. r. before election day
At the critical moment Governor
Iudson Harmon came To- the rescue
and climbed into the band-wagon.
When his right was challenged ne
declared that he was the logical can
didate, the friend of the masses, ana
the classes were friends Of his. But
Miss Democracy decided that he
would have 90 wait for two years to
see what he could do with a democrat
be- legislature. So Harmon climbed
down.
DIX was the next aspirant for favor
claiming his seat boy virtue of tick
VI hearing am %. X hy Charles +.
Murphy, and because of his versatility.
but Aliss Democracy insisted that the
trouble with the democratic party
for the past twenty-five years was that
it he'd been too damned versatile.
and Dix was thrown Off.
Judge Baldwin made an effort to
climb into "a seat ON the ground that
Dee was a great legal nght hut Miss
Democracy answered what has law
sot to do with the democratic party'
The republicans made am the laws.
W. are going back 10 make neN
ones and oft went baldwin
I'oss had no better luck when he
tried 90 butt tn" FOR the hest that
Miss Democracy would promise was
to book him over after be had gone
out to save lodge
Woodrow Wilson had his turn on
the strength of being the National
Voice. hut democracy said that what
was wanted was O. National silence.
while as to his claim ot Nirgina birth.
she said. You shoot YOUR mother at
an early age GET of
Her demand for some other Qua llf-
cations than Nhiskers. sent Kern to
the right about and when Folk en-
ucaNurcd to board the vehicle with
an endorsement from Bryan. hr was
hit over thc head with a stuffed club.