The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-02
A Disappointed Man.

Mr.. Halloran surveyed the insurance
agent with a dark and hostile counte-
nance. The fact that one eye was con-
cealed by somewhat grimy bandage did
not add to the attractiveneSS of his eX-
preston.
Haven't you made up your mind yet
to insure with usT' inquired the agent.
you told me might call again in few
days"
. ''There was two of you at me to get
an accident insurance policy, said Mr.:
Halloran, breathing heavily. Il towld
you and him both you might call IN again,
and he come first, day befoor yesterday,
and | insured wild his company.
THAT very night | met up wild Barney
Casey on the way home, which was
what was expecting wud happen" con-
tinued Mr.. Halloran, raising himself by
grasping the arms of his chair with two
capable, although Scared hands, and
whin we'd finished wild one another /
was like this!
..Yistherday morning / sent for the in
surance chap, and says | to him, Look
at me- | says, and estimate the dam
ages and pay them.
HE squirmed right out O the door,
saying twas no accident I'd had.
Now if meeting wild Barney Casey,
afther keeping out o. his way for six
months, is no accident, I'm done wild in
surance companies, and the sooner you
Fave this house the betther twill Place
me.'-New York Globe and Commercial
Advertiser.
Force of Habit.
"Why did you break. your engagement
with that school teacher?" asked the
friend
IF / failed to show up at her house
every evening" she expected me to bring
a written excuse signed by my mother"
-Woman's Home Companion.
49,
A Neighborly Precaution.
The new clerk at the drug store re-
turned the prescription to the old Gus
toner with a request that he wait till
the boss returned.
But why can't you fill it out?"
Il could if you was stranger, but
amt to fill 'em for folks that lives
about here. "-Success Magazine.
49,
Wonderful Dancer.
81 saw YOU dancing with Jones just
now. Is he good"
"A wonderful dancer! He never
touched the floor"
''HOw d'you mean!"
HE danced on my feet!"-New York
Evening Telegram.
Down in the Jungle.
There was once fuzzy, old Hindoo,.
Who said, 81 make clothes mighty thin do:
Fact, is in July,
When the mercury's high,
I often make just my old skin dot
-Lippincott's.
Not the Cooks.
Mistress (who has received broad
hint that an extra evening hoff" will
be wecomed) = Cook tells me, Mary,
that you want to go out with young
man this evening. Is it urgent?
Mary-No, mum, it amt. He's me
own gent.-London Sketch.
$3.50
A Dire Failure.
Mrs. Gay-Maud says she dresses ell
tirely to please her husband.
Mrs. Fay-Then she doesn't succeed.
Her dressmaker's bills make him, swear
Transcript.
$50
The Ruling Instinct.
'Hold, man! What would you do?''
Il would die! From this bridge | will
leap into yon mighty torrent and end it
all-all."
Heavens! But if you must, wait
twenty minutes until l can send for my
moving picture udCulAcs lulS VIII make
corking flm.''-St. Paul Dispatch.
$50
Forcing a Handicap.
Diogenes returned from his search for
an honest man.
''Given up the chaser" they inquired.
cit became a matter of necessity" re-
piled the philosopher. Some one stole
my lantern. ''-Lippincotts.
$50
Not a Help.
Bill-Did you ever try exercising in
your room when you get up in the morn
ing?
Jill-Oh, yes.
''And what did you find it did for
youY'
''Made me late for breakfast" -Yonk-
erS Statesman.
Unreconstructed.
81 met a gentle but entirely unrecon-
structed native during recent trip
through North Carolina" said north
ern tourist, 'and he was in constant
Iamentation over what he regarded the