davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Dickinson press., 1910-08-13
How She Caught Them.

SLOW did you happen to set four
times as many letters as I didT' said
n washerwoman who had advertised
for work by the day to another who
had advertised for the same thing.
wound up my advertisement by
saying ! was on a Diet" said the lucky
one: THAT 'on a diet notice goes
right to- the heart Of stingy souls who
are trying to cut down expenses. They
hate to figure on a washerwoman's
meals and jump at the chance Of get.
ting one who doesn't eat.-New York
Sun.
The Dickinson press., 1910-08-13
Tho Purist Lost q Sale.

"1've just happened to remember
that my wife told me to get a tin pan
that will 60 under the icebox. Have
you any"
"No. sir. but we have some that can
be showed under tho icebox. Won't
that do just as well?"
II think not. young man. My wife
is a bit particular about my getting
the exact thing that she tells me to
get. l presume l can find 1t at some
other store. Good day, sir."-Chicago
Tribune.
The Dickinson press., 1910-08-13
Horse Sense.

During a heavy downpour of rain an
Irish farmer sent bis boy to a distant
field to bring home a horse. Some time
elapsed. and the messenger returned
without the horse.
Father-Didn't OF send ye for the
horse, ye gamoch? Is your head in
your brogues?
Little Boy (drenched to the skim
Sure, he was standin' in shelter us dry
as ye loike. Bedad, he knows more
than the two of us.
The Dickinson press., 1910-08-13
ofts,. Cas-.

"You can pretty safely bet" began
the man, who thought he knew, "that
any woman who doesn't sush over a
pretty baby Is a confirmed old maid
Mot always" replied the real wise.
acre. "She may be a mother who has
q baby she thinks 10 prettier."-Cath
Ole Standard and Times ss
The Dickinson press., 1910-08-13
Too Empty,

JOG Empty.
Bonney (morning Of the second day
outcome, old boy, let's 60 out on
deck. Breakfast won't be served for
half an hour yet, and a brisk walk on
an empty stomach will do you good.
Klabber 0eebly trying to smile)-
Take a walk on yours, II you like.
chappie. Mine isis entirely too
empty.-Chicago Tribune.
The Dickinson press., 1910-08-13

If your liver is sluggish and out of
tone, and you feel dull, bilious. consti.
pated, take a dose of Chamberlain's
Stomach and Liver Tablets tonight be-
fore retiring and you will feel all right
in the morning. Sold bv all druggists.
The Dickinson press., 1910-08-13

In buying a cough medicine. don't be
afraid to get Chamberlain's Cough Rem
edy, There is no danger from it. and
relief is sure to follow. Especially
recommended for coughs, colds and
whooping cough. Sold By all druggists
The Dickinson press., 1910-08-13
Truthful.

Angry Father ito son,-Y6n never
saw me getting into Il scrale Ike thu.
when I was d boy Flippant Son n.
did never did. Exchunxe.
The Dickinson press., 1910-08-13
In Art Circles,

'aThat picture is by IN old MASTER"
the owner stated proudly.
"Umph. umph," commented the crit
zeal visitor. "What was he master
ofy'-Philadelphia Ledger.
The Dickinson press., 1910-08-13

His Advice.

She (after the embrace)eOh, how
dare you! You have offended me. What
shall I do?
He-Er-why not "turn the other
cheek ?"-London Taller.
The Dickinson press., 1910-08-13
What Did It Msan7

A notice board In q Scottish kirk once
bore, it is said, the following amazing
sentence: This church is licensed for
the solemnegation Of marriages."
The Dickinson press., 1910-08-13

Listen to others, but do not blind,
depend on them.
The Dickinson press., 1910-08-13
FOR SALE

FOR SALE i
Very modern 8-room brick house and
three lots on Second Ave. West. Sell
furnished or unfurnished at reasonable
prices. Charles. Bake. Dickinson. 32-6-ft
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-16
ALONG
WASHINGTON BYWAYS

ton for the example set by President Taft
who with all the worries of his job-and
he takes it as seriously as any man need
fails persistently to lose any flesh. Travel
overwork loss Of sleep, exercise-nothing
affects him. He hasn't lost any flesh
since, during the hard weeks of the 1908
campaign, he worked off a few pounds,
which returned as soon as election was
over.
Under Roosevelt the secret service men
at the presidential establishment were all
kept in the pink Of condition by the neces-
sity OF walking few miles In snow or
rain at any time of day or night They're
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-16

secretary OF agriculture because nobody
else ever had chance to learn how to
do It, and the job must go on. 1t will go
on forever and he will always be secretary
The only way to judge the future is by the
past"
"Everybody's mistaken" interjected Judge
Hinshaw of Nebraska. Uncle Jim wasn't
always secretary. and isn't the only person
who ever was secretary"
Whereat there was loud protest. Every
body was certain that "Tama Jim" was
born secretary and that there never was
any secretary till he was born into the
position,
BY this time the venerable. but straight.
staiwart and sturdy secretary was APP
preaching within hailing distance and he
was called upon to arbitrate.
Mr.. Secretary. we've been having a dis
sussion about your tenure OF office Can
You tell when you began to be secretary"
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-16
Briehtside and His Boy
BY LAFAYETTE PARKS.


Brooklyn high school girls are indignant
because the Board of Education has ordered
them to dispense with the more violent
forms OF outdoor exercise" Brightside OBJ
serves, while his omniscient offspring toys
with the always ready coffin nail"
Back to the knitting needles for the
skirts" approves Son.
Hurdle racing is one of the sports they
must give up" continues Father, and the
young women seem quite put out about It, !"
IF they must have that kind Of exercise"
remarks Son, little bright eyes might do
few hurdle stunts in the flat at home
wlping the dust off the furniture. / guess
their mothers wouldn't put the ban on any
thing like that"
"The pupils have issued a statement in
which they assert they have a right to
exercise as they wish" Father resumes,
They contend that skipping rope in the
open air Is a valuable health aid"
II wonder IL any of 'em ever tried skip
ping about the kitchen at home, getting
the dishes washed before their mothers
could stop them?" unused Son. 1.-THE chances
are that most of those high school danes
would rather skip down the fire escape
and beat for the campus than to get caught
trying to do any real work that might save
mother slavish toll"
High jumping is also barred" Father
notes from the list of "Don'ts,''
They can always jump UP hanging wash
out on the line in the back yard If they
feel they can't get along without that brand
of exercise" suggests Son. I'D be willing
to lay odds that their mothers won't have
to get out any injunctons TO keep 'em
away from the line"
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-16
WslggyX%KrPrssS1Es5.s =. Il, S;lII.1I
IlFRFFf R'|'IK'NlElll
Flavor of Drowned Meat or Fat.

Flavor of Drowned Meat or Fat.
Next to the unchanged flavor OF the meat
itself comes the flavor which Is secured
by browning the meat fat The outside
slices OF roast meat have this Drowned
flavor in marked degree. Except in the
case Of roasts, browning for flavor is US
ually accomplished by heating the meat In
q frying pan in fat which has been tried
out OF pork or In suet or butter. Care
should be taken that the fat is not scorched
The chief reason for the bad opinion in
which fried food Is held by many Ii that
II almost always means eating burned fat
When fat Is heated too high 1t splits up
into fatty acids and glyoerin, and from
glyeerin is formed substance (acrolein)
which has a very irritating effect upon the
mucous membrane, All will recall that the
fumes OF scorohed fat make the eyes water
1t is not surprising that such a substance
II taken into the stomach, should cause
digestive disturbance Fat In itself is a
very valuable food, and the objection to
fried foods because they may be fat seems
illogical. II they supply burned fat there
is a good reason for suspicion. Many house
keepers cook bacon In the oven on a wire
broiler over pan and believe it more
wholesome than fried bacon. The reason,
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-16
Slresh Vegetables and Plenty of
Drinking Water Will Clear Complexion

EAT plenty Of fresh vegetables, drink
water whether you want II or not. and
substitute fish and eggs for meat. and
your complexion will repay the change of
diet by being fresher ana Of better color"
declared a dietarlan.
Spinach, fresh beet tops and any other
green's might be eaten every day with ben
eft to the skin, for they are filled with
phosphates and other properties that act
favorably on the system, by clearing the
blood. This. indeed, Is characteristic OF
all fresh green vegetables, and is one rea-
son OF the beneficial effect of green salads,
such as lettuce, esearole. romaine. etc.
Another reason salads are healthful IL the
nourishing properties OF olive OIL 1t being
understood that all uncooked green's shall
be eaten with French dressing. consisting
OF oil, vinegar, pepper and salt with what
ever savories one likes.
Meat more than once \ day in summer
Is a mistake. for It overheats the blood and
is too heavy TO be properly assimiated,
except in cold weather, when vitality Is
depleted. There are physicians who do
not permit certain persons to eat any red
meats. by which are meant beef and NUT
ton. Veal, lamb, fish and eggs are nour-
lshing and poultry Is highly desirable In
summer.
Tomatoes and strawberries are especially
good for all who can digest them. There
are some persons who are poisoned by
them, owing to the acids contained. These
same acids are beneficial TO systems with
which they agree.
Rhubarb is fruit that should be eaten
daily. and is also wholesome for children
Fhe great benefit derived from water Is
entirely through the fact OF It's being
stimulating to the intestines as well as
carrying off impurities that otherwise
would remain TO make their way ouI
Through the skin. More than one serious
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-16

different now. They don't walk; they ride
motorcycles on the flanks of the presi-
Dental automobiles; and the result is that
Jimmie" Sloan and Dick" Jervis, the
nationally known secret service guards
about the executive offices, are both put
ting on so much flesh that they are wor-
ried abou' 1t. Jervis confesses to 204 pounds,
which is an indeterminate amount more
than he ever possessed before.
It's the same way all over the place.
Assistant Secretary Latta used to be very
tall-which he still Is and very Slim
which he isn't any more. He is getting, on
the other hand, TO be a delightfully."- uphol-
stored young man, and it really becomes
him, too. They say he is twenty five
pounds to the good under the new and
less strenuous regime, but he doesn't admit
all of 1t.
Even Rudolph Forster, who has been
sub-secretary under three or four presl-
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-16
"Girl Athletes as Dish Washers"
Their Latest Tabloid Sketch.

would dare butt in on. Us men, you know,
must have our three big eats per day"
Foot races are limited to fifty yards In
length for the young students" reads
Father.
THE danes are not much on the sprint,
anyway" surmises Son, unless they are on
the way to an ice cream soda fountain.
Then they're likely to break all short dis
lance records. For a 5 cent drink of the
sweet suds little goo-goo eyes will put
more ground behind her in a minute than
a professional Splinter could in a week"
1.-THE girls are permitted to throw basket
balls" Father AYERS.
THAT ought to soften the blow some,''
is Sons belief. They can keep in practice
for the time when hubby 10 due to dodge
flatrons, rolling pins and other bric-a-
brac."
"a warning has also been sent out against
the Marathon dance craze which seems
to have swept over the country" Father
puts in, am rather in favor of dancing
for girls, as 1 believe it helps to make
them more graceful"
Some of these giddy little walters will
glide around a dance hall for ten hours
and say they are not tired" Son declares
IF they had to dance around the dining
room at home with a broom, chasing UP
the crumbs, they'd be ready to drop in ten
minutes. Even a leather medal wouldn't
keep 'em on the job"
Somebody will have to perform the do.
nestle duties" Father asserts,
1T won't be the girl with athletic prize
medals pinned all over the front of hel
shirt waist If she can pass the buck tt
dear mamma" concludes Son.
Copyright, 1910. by the N. Y. Herald Coz
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-16

group OF eminent antiquarians were
holding down the front steps Of the White
House office section when Secretary OF Ag-
rlculture Wilson was seen approaching.
The permanent secretary Of agriculture"
observed Mr.. Brownlow of Tennessee.
mo, he isn't a permanent official" in
sisted Mr.. Austin OF Tennessee, "he could
BIO removed, so far as concerns anything
In the constitution. He simply happens 20
have attached himself to the position in
such fashion that nobody knows how to
detach him."
can wrong" protested Mr.. Hardwick of
Georgia Hes the Only One; he has to be
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-16

ITO tell the truth, gentlemen, don't
Just recollect; some time back, though"
Were you ever anything else than sec
retaryT"
II have recollection of being several
other things--a representative, railroad
commissioner and legislator, out in Iowa
Also. was a blamed good farmer"
do you consider yourself the permanent
secretary of agriculture?"
'Tamma Jim" grinned broadly and
staiked inside the White House, but as he
walked in he remarked over his shoulder:
mo. I've got past that. I'm the hered-
ltary secretary"
They used to be kept trained right down
to the minute at the White House, but
now they are all getting fat.
Doubtlss it Is out of delicate considera-
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-16

dents and secretaries. and who knows the
routine Of White House affairs better than
any other man living, has been perking up
in the matter Of avoirdupols. Forster was
one of the favorite stenogTaphers of Presi-
dent Roosevelt, who used to dictate to him
from midnight till a. M. on occasion and
then apologize for having to stop to sleep
few hours. 1t didn't hurt Mr.. Roosevelt,
but 1t made Forster about as fat as a
Kansas cornstalk. Latterly that sort of
exercise has been cut out and Mr.. Forster
is fattening up until it is believed his
cross-section will shortly be easily visible
to the naked eye.
In fact, everybody around the White
House is getting fat, with William Pan
nell, the negro doorkeepor at the execu-
tive door, leading all the rest, Pannell is
now an oblate spheroid.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-16
Prattle of the Youngsters

Teacher-Now. boys, here's little ex-
ample In mental arithmetic. How old would
a person be who was born In 1867
Pupil-Please, teacher, was It man or
woman?
Don't you know that little boys who
swear don't go 10 heaven"
That's all right. mister. I'd rather be
with pa, anyhow"
The late Bishop Foss, at a dinner at his
Arch street residence In PHILADELPHIA.
talked in an interesting way one evening OF
ehiidrsn's prayers
That study OF evii-ln novels or plays
teaches US to avoid evil" he said, It's a
very doubtful theory. Bala mother told
her little boy one day OF the children of
Israel and their worship OF the golden calf.
and the next day she found the urchin in
the stable praying to his pony.
"A little girl was hidden to return thanks
in her prayers for the healthy birth OF a
baby brother. She did so. concluding the
prayer reproachtully with: But, Lord. we
needed a motor car far more
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-16

Putting the shot is another of the
tabooed athletics" goes on Father.
IAN iron pot for boiling murphies is about
the weight Of a shot" says Son, land II
the girls get just too excited about being
deprived of that special sport. they might
try juggling few pots over the kitchen
range. This is a combination OF athletics
and domestics that no Board of Education
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-16

Clearly women are, TO = certain extent,
responsible for their looks, and the line of
defence should involve clear notions OF
bodily hygiene. foor, rest. sleep. bathing,
care of the skin, teeth, hair and clothing,
says a writer in a contemporary. But"
can imagine the answer, do not spend
pounds on skin preservatives and hair
washes? Do / not stay in bed ten hours
and can eat snything?" Well, staying in
bed too long is not rest; it is laziness, and
leads to physical and mental stagnation,
Eating anything may imply overeating,
1t is no use TO put cosmetics on the face
and indigestible food into the stomach no
use TO pin ones faith in eye drops and to
deprive the brain OF intellectual food; no
use to attend physical culture classes and
to wear tight stays and shoes afterward,
no use to try anti-obesity cures (many of
them dangerous) and saunter around shop
windows or the park in place of taking
real exercise; needless even the hundred
and one electro massage treatments when
the same effects could be produced by the
more rational stimuus.-Woman's Life.
THE self-poise 2of real value is that
gained in the midst OF others, that self
control won amidst trials and temptations
that make It possible IN the stir ana pres
sure OF common life to live welL"-Ada
May Krecker in Woman's Life.
Because some one else has borrowed your
pet book that you have hardly had time
generous spirit by lending it 10 a friend OF
10 read yourself. and then has shown her
her own, who has passed II further, so that
by the time It gets back to you II has lost
the first sweet freshness that helped make
Il dear to you, is really no reason why you
should borrow your friends best cut glass
dish and send 1t back to her with a crack
In it or a chip out OF it.-Woman's Life.
Blessed Is the man who, having nothing
TO say. abstains from giving US wordy evl.
denee Of the fact.
AS women. We should not quarrel with
our horizon. nor should we shrewishly ar.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-16
COULDN'T PLAY 1T ON THE HARP

COULDN'T PLAY 1T ON THE HARP
In a Chambers street crosstown horse
car a new conductor did some rough work
the other day in an effort 10 add to his
days wage.
An Italian and an Irishman were sitting
beside each other. and the conductor held
back the change when the italian gave
him a dime from which 70 take the
cent fare. The Irishman also presented
a dime, and the conductor moved on with
out giving him change.
Say" called the Irishman loud enough
for all In the car 70 hear. gimme me
nickel change Ye can play that on the
organ, but ye can't play It on the harp"
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-16

case OF facial pimples might be cured If
three pints OF water were drunk daily, not
with the meals, but between them. Liquid
with food dilutes the gastric juices and
renders food less nourishing Taken half
an hour after meals or not later than half
an hour before It does not interfere with
digestion and can only be beneficial
MARGARET MIXTER.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-16
Selected Short Stories

REVENUE PRODUCERS.
Knicker-The magazines are charged with
a postal deficit.
Bocker-But think Of the stamps sold FOL
all the poems sent to them.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-16
Daily Health Hint

A bitter taste IN the mouth upon awaken
ing in the morning may be cured by
small dose OF nux vomica taken in water
or In pellet form.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-16
Some Interesting Items for the Women Folks

ribbon. One of the covers may be decorated
with a monogram II wished, Two ribbons
passed around the portfolio are tied to
keep the contents secure. A single pansy
for thoughts worked on gray canvas Is
effective Such receptacle will be useful
for preserving any prints or drawings that
may be bought during travels.
A smart looking and practical accessory
to woman's toilet is the latest model
shell hair pins.
The braids worn around the head at pres
ent are so thick and heavy that even large,
square-headed pins fail in their mission
that is, to be both useful and ornamental.
If set In securely its beauty is frequently
lost, and II placed In an outstanding POSI-
ton, use is sacrificed to beauty. Thus the
reason for new pins that combine utility
with beauty. This pin Is shaped like the
average large square-headed pin, but the
improvement lies In its being turned back
at the head for an inch or more thus
making the pin shorter.
This turned back portion lies directly on
the braid, displaying itself. The prices
range from rs cents upward for a single
pin.
Two are considered necessary to hold q
heavy braid.
another novelty IN mar ornaments Is the
barette and side combs OF tortoise shell
decorated with row of three RED roosters.
| The effect may be described as more
unique than elegant still, ! suppose women
will wear them just as long as the chan
tecler fad exists,
The Suesine silks make beautiful gradua-
ton frocks and simple wedding gowns.
Though light and silky looking. they
wear bettor than China silk, by reason OF
the Intervening Of a few strands OF
Egyptian cotton. Not that this introduce
ton interferes with the lustre OF the silk
for the outer thread is OF pure silk and the
fabric has the appearance Of being all silk
In addition 70 black and white. there are
about forty colors in different tones This
silk costs an cents a yard. and Is twenty.
seven inches wide. - 49, - L-siSht "a ali
department stores
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-16

of course, is that thus cooked in the oven
there is less chance for the bacon becoming
impregnated with burned fat. Where fried
salt pork is much used good cooks know
that it must not be cooked over a very
hot fire, even II they have never heard of
the chemistry Of burned fat. The recipe
for bean pot roast and other similar
recipes may be varied by browning the
meat or part of 1t before covering with
water. This results in keeping some OF
the natural flavorng within the meat itself
and allowing less to go into the gravy. The
flavor of veal can be very greatly improved
in this way.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-16

raign poor man because he has civilized us
at his expense. We must realize simply
that emotionally we are centuries ahead
of him, and that we shall have to wait
patiently for him to grow up and meantime
moderate our steps to his just as we do
when we take the baby out for an airing
Woman's Life.
Colored aprons for wear when sewing or
presiding al the tea table or over the chat
ing dish are the latest fad among girls and
young matrons.
These aprons are made from fine hand
kerchief linen, though dainty lawn would
be as pretty.
The shape of the aprons is round or
pointed with bib to match, ribbons tying
in the back.
The front is in panel effect, outlined with
white net footing run with a thread Of
silk floss In simple decorative stitch the
color OF the apron.
The frill is OF the same color with a row
of narrow footing set in above the hem.
This frill trims all edges. The apron is
worn over a white frock or one of It's own
color.
! I am so glad to see a change in the ma
terials selected for loose summer coverings
for furniture. The pale tans and grays
that have concealed or protected, as the
case may be. chairs and sofas for a num-
Der OF years may have the quality of COOL
ness 10 recommend them, but they were
certainly depressing.
Now 1t is the fashion TO make the slip
covers of pretty cretonnes, not necessarily
! light, but In cool looking greens and
browns, soft blues and duh plnks. These are
much prettier than the linen and will last
an entire summer without a visit to the
laundry.
! A simple portfolio makes a welcome gift
TO a friend who will travel this summer
In portfolio all that is necessary are two
pieces OF cardboard the desired size, These
can be covered with art canvas and lined
with sateen in the same color.
The two materials are neatly overhanded
all around the edge. and the hinge Is Of
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-16
THE GENTLE GAME.

Knicker-Did he set foot where man
never trod before2
Bocker-Yes, he kicked another player
on the skull.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-16
HER NAME FoR HIM.

Mother" said a little girl who is very
apt at naming things 10 suit herself as
the newsboy on the train entered the car
with a large basket OF fruit on his shoul'
der, here comes the ocery-orakesman'"
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-16
UNDER THE NEW RULING.

Inspsctor--Are these cigars for your own
use7
Fair Passenger--Certainiy; 1 got them to
XIII the bugs IN the conservatory,
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-16

Persistent Advertising is the Road to
Big Returns
Omaha daily bee., 1910-06-16

AS women, We should not quarrel with
our horizon. nor should we shrewishly ar