davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-02-15
An Innocent Disclosure.

Mamma, did papa shurt himeelf
when be had that fall last night?"
Why. papa didn't fall last night.
Willie"
"Oh. yes, he did, for I heard Uncle
Frank tell some men today that last
night papa fell OF the water wagon
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-02-15

MY dear" said the lady who had
been married three years. tell me
what first attracted you to me. What
pleasant Characteristic did possess
which placed me above other women
in your sight?" And her lord and
master simply said. Il give it up"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-02-15

Stubb-Sone expert says tents VIII
lats twice as long II you give them .
Goa. Of tar.
Pebn-That's nothing new. I have
heard Of tents being pitched ali my
life.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-02-15
Correcting Himself.

7 believe you said you had some
stocks on a margin
Yes answered the kardluck ex-
pert But that wasn't a margin. II
was a ragged edge"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-02-15
Rea: Stylish.

"Iet me see.'' said the comedian.
adjusting his glasses, what Is next
on this la carte dinner you have or
dered?"
~Frankfurters, as / live" laughed
the heavy tragedian. Hot frank
furters."
All. indeed, Then ] suppose we
shall have a sort Of a Ia dog cart. eh?''
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-02-15

Il am sorry TO have to inform YOU"
said the head OF the firm. that we
are compelled to dispense with your
services"
Are your" replied the office boy.
But l s'pose you're goin' to let me
keep on workin' here, just de same.
nln't your"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-02-15
Looks Like Insanity.

do you believe that people ever go
crazy from the heat?"
I'm afraid they do. A married man
up in North Carolina has just eioped
with three married women"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-02-15
Just A Tiny Jolt.

Mayme-I want you to meet my
faDce. He's everything that's nice
E6yth-I'm so glad. dear ! always
said that people should marry their
opposites, you know.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-02-15
"a fruitful Thouoht.

There Is one thing which puzzles
me about those peach basket hsts-
What Is that?'
How do the women manage 70
keep them in apple pic orcery-
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-02-15
Masculine.

she Is very marnish."
-Mannlsh nothing, She's the sweet
est, most feminine little creature IN
the world,-
We'll, she doesn't lie about her
age
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-02-15
UItimstumf.

The Umpire-Thsi decision goes
or I do. see?
Interested Psrty-Nix, II dat deci
sion goes. you stay right here till We
gets trough wit yer. see,-Puck-
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-02-15
Unprofess:onal.

THAT doctor seems to know 10th
ing of the ethics of the profession"
How does he show it?'
why. he'd rather cure a patient
by another school than kill him b.
his own"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-02-15
Going Some.

You say he Is a fast young man.
He sure isi lie was born four
years later than bis sister. and now
be Is four years older than she Is -
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-02-15
Dusty Job.

Ssm-Yeas. ten yeahs ago Jim's
folks told him to dust an he's been
busting ever since.
Remus-Dusting ebeh since. eb7 =
Sam-~Yeas, he's q Pullman cah
pohtsh-
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-02-15
Tnr MYSTERIOUS eiRo.

I'm haunted" he cried. yes. TIA haunt
ed.
MY brain IL beginning to mrch.
I'm tempted To place
Ny deplorable case
with some expert Ina psychic research.
The turkey We carved so Ne, enels
Thought had departed from view:
Hut its wrath. | perceive
As l pens.Vely grieve.
Keeps hanging around In The stew.
when ! fee from that manifestation.
And elsewhere inpuisively dash.
lite speCter So grim
Stalks forth. paliid ami slim.
And whispers. I'm here la the hash''
Washington Star.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-02-15

She said she didn't care for slang.
Her words 1 couldn't doubt
When she went further still and said
She guessed she'd cut IL out.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-02-15
Its Hardness.

Hard cash they call it. and l guess
That Is the best term yet.
Hard cash II Is. undoubtedly,
Because it's hard 10 get.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-02-15
In the Wrong Place.

The sea serpent's accents were bitter
As he mournfuily unused on his past:
"were I only an African critter.
1 might be discovered at lastr'
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-02-15
Cannot Afford II.

Roosevelt has not shot many rhin
oceroses, has he?"
Nope, he'd lose too much money
by doing that"
How so?"
That is too big word to sell for q
dollar"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-02-15
Ooino Their Best

Those Coneups are d-tsrmioec 20
make q noize IN the World % society
Are thsyr Wefl they're losc
s1ogEh--
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-02-15
Ne slonsseerA

FTisad-But your house has 20
yfev.
ProDsietor-Thss doe<aT matter: al
ths guests play bridge -wssk End
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-02-15

Father tcalling downstairs -Mary.
Just ask your young man If he doesn't
think it's pretty near bedtime.
Mary-Yes, papa, and George scys
If you're sleepy, go to bed, by all
means.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-02-15

A confiding katu-e's Disappointment.
"Old friends are best" said the
warm hearted person.
"Humph." replied Mr.. Sirius Bark
er, who was walking little lame.
II suppose you're one of those people
who would. trust a last years ham
mock rope"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-02-15
Was 10 Yes or No 2

"Will you be my wife?" AL
This is SO student
IL know 1t, but will your"
Il must have time to consider"
2Ifcw much timer"
An hour!"
Nope. l can't wait so long"
Would the suspense drive you
frantic?"
Nope, 'tisnt the suspense. but II
you are going to turn me down, l
want to know 1t and get away In
time for a poker party / have half
way promised to JOIN"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-02-15

-TFe called her honey
Yes. yes
But Il seeras she vas 9 hosey bee
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01
Maine and Virginia Capitols.

When completed the present Capitol
of Maine will be one of the best IN
the country. Our old State House
was q larger and more pretentiouS one
than still does duty at Richmond for
the State of Virginia notwithstanding
the fact that Virginia has a popula-
ton. according to the last census, OF
1.S541S4 while that of Maine was only
694. 1856. One marvels at the cramped
quarters in which the Virginia state
departments do business, although the
historic old Capitol that served as
meeting place for the Confederate
Capitol has been enlarged in recent
wears by the addition of two wings,
one of which is occupied by the Sen
ate chamber, and the other by the hall
of the House. In some respects, now
ever, Virginia is ahead OF Maine. IL
has large old fashioned house which
serves as an executive mansion, and
also a fine State library building on its
Capitol grounds. When our present
State House is completed it will have
considerable more than twice as much
room as the one which serves the Old
Dominion
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

It is only the expected that fails to
happen.
Everybody is selfish-with the eX-
ception of yourself
Occasionally liar tells the truth
because he thinks it isn't
How a woman does hate to be told
that she is well preserved,
It's a waste of time trying to talk
to a woman with her first baby.
1t keeps a wife of self-made man
busy making alterations.
A gossip believes everything she
hears, and taxes the rest for granted.
Anyway. we never heard of young
couple who couldn't fool a chaperon
if they We're so inclined.
Beware of the man who pats you on
the back. He may he trying to as
certain if coin jingles in your clothes.
And more widOwers might marry
widows if they We're not afraid that
their brides would insist on taking
their children along on the wedding
trip.-Chicago News.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01
Would Ignore The Constitution.

Article Is. Section l. The right
of citizens Of the United States to
vote shall not be denied or abridged
by the United States. or any
other State on account of race
color. or previous condition of
servitude.
section >. The congress shall
nave the power to enforce that
article by appropriate legislation
Because Maryland did not ratify this
amendment to the constitution of the
United States, the Democrats of that
state now propose to ignore it so far
as it applies to the election of officials
Of the state. so that hereafter negroes
will be permitted to vote for national
offices only. This proposed repudi-
vival of the states rights doctrine at
tempted during the last forty years
and is as disgraceful as it is radical
and foolhardy.
The most sensible explanation of the
introduction of the Digges measure is
that the leaders of a Democratic leg
islation. drunken with power. have
gone mad. We do not believe that the
representatives of the people of Mary
land. in their sober senses. would en-
terrain such purpose for a moment
nor do we believe that this radica
faction will find sufficient support
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01
Labor LEGISLATION.
balance

The United States Bureau of Conn
tin which is a ecapitulation of the
labor legislation enacted during the
past two years by the legislatures of
the several states. 1t shows that the
enactment of labor legislation tends
to conform to standard of uniform
ity from year to year. Radical labor
legislation, some of which by it's very
form is ineffective and worse than use
less. falls of its own weight; but in
the main labor laws enacted have been
sane and fair to both employers and
employees.
No other state has made such strides
in this direction as has Maine and in
no other state are the relations be-
tween employer and employee more
uniformly pleasant and profitable.
Maine now has laws effectively safe
guarding employees engaged in dan
gerous occupations and is blessed with
an efficient labor department. 1t may
be fairly said that Maine is in the front
rank of the states which have under
taken a policy of labor laws in accord
ance with modern standards.
The report Of the national labor
commissioner shows that most of the
states have enacted laws of the better
character, but in many cases they are
but the entering wage which must be
supplemented in the near future by
more specific and effective amend
ments before they can be said to be
equal to the Maine laws. We do not
mean to suggest our laws are perfect
and not susceptible of advantageous
| amendment. but it is certain that the
laboring man is better protected in
| this State than in most other states.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01
lit For Tat.

For many years New England
and wooden industries, have looked to
a high class of skilled and industri-
Gus operatives from Canada to solve
the labor problem for them. The
drain upon Canadian farming villages
and provinces has been great and the
benefit to New England has been
equally great. Thousands OF these
immigrants have found New England
an ideal place of residence, have pur-
chased homes, started industries of
their own, opened stores. interested
themselves in politics and have be-
come in every essential feature citl-
zens of the United States. A few of
them have returned, since Canada be-
came the Mecca for those seeking
cheap lands in a new country. A con-
certed effort is now being made to IN
duce more of them to return ana IL
will doubtless be partially successful,
but the great majority are no longer
Canadians and are satisfied to remain
here. On the other hand thousands
of good American citizens who have
never before visited Canada are being
induced to migrate to the Canadian
Northwest and there make new homes
for themselves under the new flag.
Thus Canada is, in way, getting back
some of the citizens she lost.
The Canadians value immigrants
from this country very highly. accord
ing To z correspondent of the Journal
of Commerce. They have picked the
best and have been unstinting in their
expenditures to bring about their mi
grafton to the new lands. In 1901 can
ada spent Sl4i, 1000 in the United States
to induce immigration. In the follow
ing year s17S,O00: in 1909, $l6l 600: in
1904. $685. and in 1905, $325,0O0. The
1907, $751; 900 in nine months. The last
year of which we have record. 1908,
$3.50, 600 The reduction after 1908 is
traceable to the fact that the move
ment had attained such momentum
that it was no longer necessary to
make such lavish expenditures Per-
haps the cost per capita is more IL
Eliminating for in 1901 the per capita
cost was s7.9S: in 1902, $6.73: in 1908,
1926; in 1904, $4.533; in 1905, Sl.45: in
1906, s42S; in 1907. $4.35 and in 1908,
s4.2S. indicating that since 1905 the
immigrants have come into Canada
of their vOlitiOn. There is no record
of the amount of money spent III Can
ada to secure immigrants to this
country in the early days if indeed
any was spent. Many thousands of
farmers may yet go into Canada and
establish homes before the accounts
balance.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

Nine times out of ten patience is
pure laZiness.
The meanest man i'm the world can
be battered about how he isn't.
The home is the bulwark of the
state, and the cook is the foundation
of the home.
Some women Islander another mere
ly to be able to confide to her that
somebody is saying things about her
A man thinks he has natural capa-
city for history if he can remember
the year his home town won the base
ball championship.
Diplomacy is wanting to insult
man and letting him do it to you.
Once in a long while an investment
turns out almost as well as a gamble
The time that money makes the
most difference in people is when they
don't have it.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01
The Springy FeeIin'.

I've sorter springy feelin' o. laziness,
I'll state;
You'd never ketch me fishin' EFF had to
dig the bait;
An eff l hit the river bank--supplied with
jug an cup
The catfish bite so brisk, sir. they are
shore to wake me up.
(Ruther let my soul loaf
Roun' the meadows wide.
Dreamin' on the river-bank.
Or driftin' with the tideD
1t comes-that ''springy feelin long
bout this time o. year.
When the bees are huntin' honey, an the
viGleis appear;
A Teller jest can't help 1.-THE wants to
take his ease
An fall asleep in blossoms to the luii-
song of the breeze.
(Oh, I'd ruther let my soul loaf
Roun' the meadows wide,
Dreamin' on the river bank,
Or driftin with the tideo
IF. L. Stanton.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01
INTERESTING PUBLICATION.
Monthly Agricultural Bulletin Issued
By Maine Central Railroad Co.

The April and initial number of
monthly agricultural bulletin called
New England Farms. issued by the
Industrial Department of the Maine
Central Railroad Co. ana intended for
free distribution among present and
prospective farmers of Maine, made
its appearance this week.
1t is an interesting little publica
ton. made up Of 81 pages. 6x10 in
size 1t has departments on horses
and other animals. vegetables, the
dairy, poultry. tree fruits, small fruits
and farm homes, and the advertising
patronage of business houses shows
generous appreciation of the rail-
roads efforts to arouse interest in and
develop New England agriculture.
An opportunity for farmers which
is tho subject of an editorial reference
relates to the growing of Strawberries
in southern Maine, northern Massa-
chusetts. and southern and central
New Hampshire to supply the con-
stantly increasing demand for the
fruit in New York. Philadelphia
washington and Baltimore and sur
rounding communities. after the local
production in those places reaches the
end of the season. 1t is pointed out.
also, that the New England home de-
mand for natives" is as yet but par
TALLY filed.
A leading article relates TO the ad-
vantage of combining fruit and poul-
try raising and there is an interesting
story of how an Ohio travelling man,
worn out physically and mentally.
purchased an unoccupied New Eng
land farm and found health and pros
pcrity in raising poultry and dogs
There are several interesting sug-
gestions and timely hints and the
publication as whole develops a
spirit of hopefulness and courage
which cannot fail to be of benefit to
its readers.
New England Farms will be mailed
without charge to present and pros
pective farmers who send their names
and addresses to the Industrial De-
rartment. Maine Central Railroad Co,
Portland, Me
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01
SUNFLOWER PHILOSOPHY.

A man who has side line usually
gives his side line more attention than
he gives his business.
Always remember that vou'u never
make a man love you by playing a
practical joke on him.
About all a genuine pessinnst can
see TO spring is house cleaning, sassa-
fras tea and the equinoctial storm
Don't be too ready to draw On your
friends for assistance; they won't take
it as kindly as you think they will.
The man who bellows most about
his rights is usually rabbit who has
had all his rights taken away from
him.
You shouldn't carry being good to
the point of isolation: to the point
where you are a nuisance, and people
hate YOU.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01

After stating the statistics as to the
mortality from different diseases in
Panama, at different periods. DR.. o.
Ter said that in 1908 the combined trop-
zeal diseases, malaria. dysentery and
beri-beri, killed fewer there than the
two great killing diseases of the tenn
perate zone. pneumonia and tubercnlo-
sis.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01
ESTABLISHED 1925

Entered at the Augusta Post Office as
second -cIass mail matter.
No notice whatever will be taken OF
unsigned communications.
The Journal cannot be held RESPONSE
BILE for the preservation or return OF
rejected communications.
Address all communications relating
to subscriptions and advertisements
to BURLEIGH & FLYNT, Publish
ers, Augusta, Maine.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01

Shall the Republican party of New
York be condemned for purging itself
of the graft element? Is it not a bet
ter party and is not the welfare of the
state in better hands now than before
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01

Mayor Gaynor. in taking the pow
Of t. make excise arrests away from
the police has concentrated the graft
in another department..
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01

The New York. New Haven and
Hartford raise in passenger tariffs will
not balance the increase in wages. but
II Is a precedent Possibly the next
increase in tariff will be more in pro-
portion.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01
Every Little Bit Helps.

(New Orleans Times Democrat)
1t is just possible that Mr. Taft'S
long run of i'll luck is nearing it's close,
Chancellor Day has given the Taft Ad-
ministraton the support of his severe
criticism
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01

We have no doubt that Roose-
welt could make even Arkansas
seem important if he were to go
down there and discover that
state.-Chicago Record Herald.
Arkansas will always have certain
amount of notoriety as long as il
keeps Jeff Davis in the Senate; but
importance Is quite another PROPOSE
tion.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01

woodrow Wilson's ideas on the
management of this country differ
from W. J. Bryan's in but one essen
tial feature, Wilson doesn't think he
is the only man who could run the
country successfully.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01

We predict that the London newspa-
pers who are so noisy i'm their criti-
cism of Roosevelt now. will become
more quiet as Theodore approaches
their tight little isle.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01

Employers and strikers in the Maine
branch OF the paper mill strike seem
to be devotinG the most of their ener-
gies to Interviewing newspaper cor
respondents.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01

We are all ready for the health
seekers from the barren wastes OF
Texas or the husband seekers from
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01

A woman who secured divorce IN
Reno died of JOY. but that isn't going
10 deter others who have set their
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01

New Englanders can get revenge on
the man who raised the price of beans
by raising more beans and fewer green
peas this summer.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01

A Westerner journeyng through
New England was shocked because
he didn't See any young orchards.
Arrangements for supplying that de-
ficiency are being made as rapidly as
possible.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01

The Wright brothers fly and won't
let anyone else fly, That is an excel
lent way to drive the industry &c
France.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01

York County's land and power mys-
terry is giving the guessers more run
than the weather
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01
Example of Self Restraint.
(St. LOuiS Republic.)

est. Louis Republic.)
Booth Tarkington's father has just
completed his first novel, but set an
excellent example of Indiana genius by
waiting until he was 20 years old. to do
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01

Look out for the lively young Am
erican who has been preparing Tor
this day of days for his pranks.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01

Menelik may or may NOT ne dead.
His obituary has been printed so many
times that il is just as well to wait
awhile.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01

The Pittsburg grafters who neglect
ed to look after Klein, are paying
the penalty.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01

Taft'S request for money for the
tariff hoard is reasonable and should
be needed
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01

We haven't noticed that the high
price OF living has killed off any spring
poets.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01

Get ready for the census man. his
deal to the State.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01

The taxicab driver who takes 800
week in tips is richer in this world $
goods than most of his benefa ctorS.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01

Cook has disa ppcared again. That
seems to be his long suite.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01

The shutters win come off most OF
the summer cottages on Patriots
Day.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01

Don't give up washing just because
a Connecticut man was drowned in a
wash basin the other day.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-04-01
May Be as Near as He'll Ever Get.
birmingham

birmingham Age Herald)
Mr.. Champ Clark is now called the
near speaker of the House of Repre-
SentatiVes.