The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-12-19
DR. COCKS CONVERSION
His Explanation of His Trip To.
 ward the North Pole

New York, Dec. 19.--"No one | should discredit me until he knows
 years of Arctic sxperience-until he hungers with mo, freezes with me 1 shudders with me in the specter-rid-
 den Arctic night and grows mad with
 me in the glaring, burning. long and l cracking Arctic day. Not until then | can he understand my mental condi- 1 tion at the tIne and appreciate jus, how feel now and what I believe to 1 be true."
 In these words does Dr. Frederick A. Cook. In the first instalment of his own story" in the January num- l Der of Hampton's Magazine issued to- ! day, lay the groundwork for his de- fense, not of his North Pole discov-
 be without merit, but of his honesty
 In believing that he accomplished ! this marvellous feat.
 All through the story Cook refers
 to the terrible physical and mental strain he underwent and to the pos
 hardships he endured affected his | mind so that he was in no condition to make scientifically correct observd- tions as to his movements.
 He explains how he "got in bad''
 at the outset in these words. "Ke- turning from a life, savage in its drain on body and mind, I was toss ed to the zenith of worldly honor on a wave of enthusiasm, a worldmad- ness which startled me. In the ebb of that wave I was plunged into the depths of suspicion and discredit, a victim of my own folly and the suf- ferer from a storm of adverse cir cumstances."
 After reciting 8 chapter of hard ships and privations that will prob ably move to pity many an adverse critic, Cook says: When I recall the the hazards we took, and feel again that physical and mental suffering, l wonder whether any living man would do this were he premeditating a lie.''
 "If I did believe in myself, honest ly and sincerely, if I felt convinced of my claim when I reached Copen : hagen and later New York;" the ex- plorer says, "is it just to call me the worlds most intrepid falxir. com mon, deliberate swindler? Uncon- ,ciously I may have made statements which I myself now question. That is inexcusable. But most emphati- cally and positively, am not a thief; most certainly there was no plan to hoax the world to my own financia! profit"
 Dr. Cook says that he has been &C., cused of being a colossal liar, and yet that many lies have. been told un him. He cites the gum -drop story as a sample. He says he took no
 gum drops with him and never heard the story until he got to New York. Cook says that the trip was not un-
 dertaken for scientific attainment. "It was personal conquest, in which I
 expected only the return due a path finder"
 Continuing, Dr. Cook says: "I shall observations. They have been pub-
 lished and scientific authorities have
 rejected them as inadequate. It may seein 8 curious thing, as so much is
 manufactured by the ream-for me
 to say that figures of instrumental
 observations are only self-convincing
 But I am telling the truth, as I see
 it frankly.
 My conviction that I reached the
 observations, figures or mathematical calculations. I did take these, of
 course. Sometimes I took them
 hastily, again working them out
 with most painstaking accuracy.
 Sometimes my mind was clear as
 ger, thirst and cold. These figures
 did not convince me of my achieve
 ment. They only corroborated my
 inner conviction of progress.
 Was my inner conviction that I attained the Pole insane? Perhaps.
 Which raises the whole problem of
 the border-line of sanity. I was, feel, no more insane than any man
 who frantically pursues an ideal-an
 ideal which may seem hair brained
 to himself. if to no other, is satisfied that he has accomplished his desire
 My conviction may be beyond the
 bounds of reason. Sometimes now feel that it is. Again I do not. I do not know. Moreover, and especially peculiarly suspicious, though un- enviable angle, of late. I have been impressed with the instability, the illegicality of kall human reason"
 AS an illustration of the peculiar effect the Far North has on one, pr. Cook says that after leaving Helberg Land, the fantastic unrealities of the North began to manifest themselves most. Peaks of STOW were trans formed into volcanoes. belching smoke: out of the pearly mist rose marvellous cities. with fairy castles; huge creatures, ,misshapen and grotes- que, writhed among the horizon These special deniZens of the North, accompanied us during the entire journey and when Jagged of brain ana Sndpp0Q OL DOully strength, 1SiC my mind swimming in sea of half consciousness, they filled me almost with horror, impressing me as the monsters one sees in a nightmare"
 Cook explains his mental condition partially by his inability to sleep. Amy one who has suffered from in- somnia,'' he says, may be able in a small degree to gauge my condition when sleep became impossible To reach the end of my journey became the haunting, ever-present, goading thought of my wakeful existence"
 "I never expected that my accom- plishment of the Pole, if I did it, would be regarded as a thing of great importance to science, which 1t is not l want to be honest in this and right here I say that any observa- tions I took were taken first of all for my own satisfaction, to check our line of march. They corroborated my growing consciousness of success. The constant travelling over miles of ice and the enduring of pain engendered in my mind conviction which no figures could have evoked. At the time, however, I did not doubt my figures. The thought of inaccuracy never occurred to me. True, T was mentally disposed to credit a favor able reckoning. Were my obserya- tions incorrect? It is quite possible. Analyzing them and the conditions. physical and mental under which they were taken, I do not know. l can never tell ultimately"