davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1910-03-24

he Is not old, he is not young.
The Chinese laundryman Hop Lung.
The yellowed cheek, the slanting eye
The humble nose, the cheek bone high
The cheerful face. the willing hand
That serves the proudest In the land
His back yard you may scan with care
No dirty linen airing therel
Chicago Tribune
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1910-03-24
Has Anybody Found Himr

Has Anybody Found Hint
you wish to advertise for lost dog.
madam"
Yes, SIR"
Whats the description"
We'll. he's just an ordinary dog. you
know, kind OF brown color"
That isn't definite enough"
And his name Is Prince"
That won't help to find him."
II should think 1t would. He's the
only dog l know Of with that name
But. madam. hasn't he some distin-
gushing popularity or mark about
him7"
yves. sir; he likes limburger
chsess."-Chicago Tribune.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1910-03-24

Disguised Customer bought . cur
rant bun here yesterday. and found
fly in 1t. I want you to exchange the
bun for another.
Confectioner-Can't do that. sir; but
II you will bring me back the fly I'll
give you a currant for it.-Weekly TEL
egraph.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1910-03-24

Doctor" asked his hypochondriacal
patient. do you think that when people
go to heaven they follow the same &C.
cupation they did on earth7'
Not all of them. madam" said the
family physician. II shall probably
have to learn a new trade unless you
happen to be there"
But he added this inaudibly.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1910-03-24

Uncle George. we are studying syno-
nyms in school, and I want to know the
difference between cute anc 'sneaky.'-
According TO your mother. 1t IL the
difference between what you do and
what Mrs. Jones' little boy does."-
Puck.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1910-03-24

Take off your. hail"
Rude men behind her cried.
And she Gust think OF it, complied;
Bnt they were still unsatished.
And yelled with their mouths opened
wide,
Take of your ratl"
Chicago News.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1910-03-24

II presume" sneered the cottaEeS
to the returning fisherman, that all
the big fish got away"
YES" answered the angler. but
some OF them had to resort to every
technicality to do it."-Detroit Free
Press.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1910-03-24

"I understand your father is enor-
mously wealthy" the young man said.
casually
The proud beauty drew herself up to
her full height (above her natural
height) as she replied: "Oh. well. we
get piece of ice that lasts until the
ice man comes again."-Buffalo Ex-
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1910-03-24

Wife-You were late last night.
Hub-Beg your pardon. my dear. AS
came in the front door the clock
struck IL.
Wife-But what time did you arrive
at the head OF the stairs?-Boston
Transcript.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1910-03-24

There's two things about this blam-
ed grapefruit that l can't understand"
said Uncle Jerry PEBBLES. zone is that
it's called grape fruit and the other is
that it's called grape fruit"
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1910-03-24

Little Fido-Uncie Towser. what's the
reason we don't get any more meat to
eat7
Big Towser-Youngster. there's a
beef boycott on. and we're the innocent
bystanders.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1910-03-24

Characterization. that's the smok-
err.
CHEEKY Matron Crowded out of the
other car)-Thats all right. l guess
can stand It. I've got one for hus-
band.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1910-03-24

for all diseases of the eye, quick relief
from using PETTIT'S EYE SALVE.
All druggists or Howard Bros, Buff
falo, N. Y.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1910-03-24

you seem glad your wife has Joined
the Suffragette Club"
YES" answered Mr. Meekton- ITS
a relief to ind Henrietta with a regu-
lar audience Of her own I've got a
sore throat trying to furnish laughter
and cheers every evening. Washing
ton Star.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1910-03-24

Don't fail to write for beautiful
booklet containing 75 splendid photo
gravures of the worlds most celebra-
ted musicians, free. See Sherman.
Clay & Co. 3 ad.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1910-03-24

Bachelor Brother Visiting married
sister well. sis. how are you. and
how Is the kid?
Sister, aby's troubled a good deal
with his teeth.
B. Bills teeth. III Just telephone
to the dentist and have them out in
q jiffy-Boston Transcript
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1910-03-24

The worlds largest incubator IL In
Australia, where it Is used to hatch
II, 440 ducks eggs OF 1000 hens eggs
at a time
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1910-03-24

Mothers WIN find Mrs. winslowss Soothing
8yrup the best remedy to use for their children
Curing the thing period.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1910-03-24
Rare Girl.

We'll. how do you like your kitchen
girl7''
The caller queried. "Faughi"
Said Mrs Jones. She's not to my
taste
Entirely too raw"
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1910-03-24

81 Is per Word Inserts Classified ads in So lead
ing papers in u s. Send for list The Daks Adj
vertising Agency. 427 S. Main street, Los An
relies or II Geary St., San Francisco Cad.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1910-03-24

why do you stop here?"
Il know an artist on the fifth floor
Of these apartments. II we walk ND
We can get drink"
-Oh, whistle for him to pour It
down the tube."-Louisville Courier
Journal.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1910-03-24

Sars apariHa

Will purify your blood, clear
your complexion, restore your
appetite, relieve your tired feel
ing, build you up. Be sure to
take it this spring.
Get it today in usual liquid form or
tablets called Sarsatabs. 100 Doses 81.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1910-03-24
TO CURE A cold IN ONE DAY


Take LAXATIVE BROMO Quinins Tablets.
Druggists refund money if it fails to cure T. W.
GROVES signature is on each box 25c-
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1910-03-24

PILES CURED IN TO - DAYS
PAZo OINTMENT In guaranteed to cure any case
Of Itching Blind. Bleeding or ProtrudinR Pilea in
to IA days or money refunded. Soc
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1910-03-24

Sometimes. In selling mutton, too.
As Regular Reader sadly notes,
The butcher fails-if the tale Is true
To separate the sheep from the goats.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1910-03-24

Fam%s sw sualp sTs. PORTLAND. OREGON
oyyIux HOURS: . A. n " sR. n Sundays. . -
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1910-03-24

consumption Is positively and absolutely
durable and preventable. All authorities agree
that this is 81. say II can be cured In the pri-
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-09-22
CHARTER WONT
LET THEM

P. H. Hebb wants to build a
seven-story reinforced concrete
business block with flats above
at the triangle on st. Helens ave-
nue. and bordering on the alley
which runs from Eighth to Sew
enth street past the Savoy thea
ter. In order to have more floor
space he wants to extend the stor-
les above the second story six
feet over the alley sidewalk and
put posts along the curb to sup
port it. He asked the commits
sion for permit, but the char
ter prohibits. This morning he
asked for conditional vacation
of the sidewalk so he could put
his building out that six feet.
Mayor Fawcett opposed the
idea, as he is opposed to vacat-
ing streets or alleys for anybody.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-09-22
MUST KNOW
CRIME LINGO

the blue label imported by Hi Sam
Tong advises a better BRANDY e.
'Dopey' Agnes says it's the best
ever and she ought to know be-
cause she's performed ON the BAN
boo (smoked opium) for 81
years" He signed it "Slim Jake. "
There is a wealth of expressions
in the glossary of the thief. He
calAs an attorney "mouthpiece. /"
A title Taper" is one who raises
money ON forged deeds. To hdm
a braiggart is ''hand painted
shoestring." When he refers to
a "bum shaft" he means game
Leg" Among thieves IA smart
fellow" is one of the. profession
who makes good hauls and es-
capes arrest. "A swell mouth
udece" is the best attorney obtain
able. When a thief serves short
term in prison he calls it a "vel-
entine." A "gun moll" is a wom-
an thief, and swell booster" DIS
a successful female shophfter. If
a thief serves Ave years in the
penitentiary he tells you he drew
five spot Stir" is the crimim-
ais word for prison.
"A bundle" is a package from
home. Sometimes it means a
woman. A benny" Is an over
coat, and a trousers pocket is re-
ferred to as butch kick" "a
bull buster" Is one who makes a
practice of assaulting policemen.
"Snuf filing a pete" or blowing a
peter" means forcing a safe with
the aid of explosives. "a bowed
in-the-glass stiff" is trustworthy
pal or a professional thief. The
thief calls a lover "bolermaker'
and diamonds with flaws are
known as "bum rocks" When ar
rested the thief says he ''broke a
leg" Police chiefs are known as
"buzzards" and am Irishman is re-
ferred to as a "boiled DINNER"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-09-22
GAR COMMANDER SCORES
RAILROAD Discrimination

ATLANTIC CITY, N. j., Sept.
Sharp criticism of the railroads
for their attitude toward old SOL
diers was the feature of the ad-
dress here today of Commander
in-Chief Samuel r. Van SAINT at
the national encampment of the
G. A. r F..
"In common with every men,
Der of our order, regret the un-
fair treatment of the Grand Army
of the Republic by the transpor-
tation companies" he said. Every
effort was made to secure a rea-
sonable rate, but to no purpose.
I'VE did not ask for the / cent
a mile rate formerly granted, but
one fare for the round trip, only.
We even appealed to their patriot
ism and asked some little consid-
Grafton in view of the services of
our comrades when the nation
needed defenders, but in vain.
at seems to me that we were
not only unfairly treated, but ac-
tually Disseminated against. The
National Educational association
secured for their meeting in Bos-
ton in July rate of one fare for
the round trip-the United Con-
federate veterans for their meeting
in Mobile, 1 cent q mile.
"All summer a rate from many
of our large cities to Atlantic City
and return has been less than the
G. A. r. rate. The excessive
charge for transportation has
largely 1essened the attendance.
In many cases the rate was pro-
hibitive. Many comrades desired
to resent such unjust treatment.
MANY events of late have given
birth to an amity and a fraternity
which will soon eradicate entirely
the hostility between the north
and the south. The recrosisng of
the Ohio in 1895 by the Grand
Army of the Republic. and their
meeting in Louisville did much.
The reception at Atlanta of the
hero of the march through Georgia
is striking example of the gener-
osity and the warm-heartednees
of the southern people. No great
er display OF magnanimity to a
former foe was ever witnessed.
The report OF Adjt.-Gen. Geo. O.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-09-22
CONTINUED From Page One.)

CONTINUED From Page One.)
sets it down. Jimmy stalls (block-
ed the mans View and l glommed
the keister (stole tbs suit case) g..
Well, we fenced 1T for sixty bucks
(pawned the suit case for 500
as it was full of good junk (pawn-
able articles).
MET fHophead' Kelly, Studs
German, Big" Larson and some
either yeggs Ga class of thives who
make speciality of robbing coun-
try postoffices and banks. They
will not hesitate to kill If corner
ed. They are considered the most
dangerous thieves in America to-
day.. They are going to go down
state and puff few boxes (dyna-
mite few safest. 'Hophead' has
been over the route (knows the
ground thoroughly and has all
the gophers pegged (knows the
exact location of the safes to be
dynamited) the soup planted
(nitro-glyoerine where it can be
readily obtaimed) and the hand
cars and speeders for the getaway
planted (has made all arrange
ments for escape). If l don't cop
a bundle of kale (if he doesn It
make a good hauD ON this hike,
you'll find me kipping (lodgintg)
at Hogam's Flop instead of the
"Annex" on my return to Chi
(Chicago).
'"Say, kdddo, begin to think
from the tone of that last letter
that you are In wrong with your
self (somethfng wrong with his
bradn). You had better lay off
that stem (quit smoking opium
or get new chef to cook your
hop (get someone who knows how
to cook" an opium "pill"). Pass
up the yellow label brand furnish
ed by Hip Ling Tong (quit using
a certain brand of opdum) and try
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-09-22
OLD FUED ENDS
IN MURDER

(By United Press Leased Wire. }
b ALBANY, Ky, Sept. 22.-The
murder of Dock Moles, who was
shot from ambush while on his
way to court; where he had been
summoned as a witness, is be-
lieved today to have been the re-
suit of feud of many years
standing between the Moles and
Lee families.
Moles was to have been a wit
ness in case against Alvin Lee, a
distiller. He started from his
home early yesterday, carrying his
two-year-old baby. His wife
walked by his side.
The rifle ball passed through
the dress of the child he carried
and entered his heart.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-09-22
CONFERENCE FAvORS
PROSECUTION OF
RAILROADS
(By United Press Leased Wire

-NN.NSNN@
TOPEKA, Kas., Sept. 22.-Al-
leging that the western railroads
have violated the agreement made
with President Taft at the time
the Hannibal injunction suit
against the increase of freight
rates was abandoned, Illinois dele
gates were in a belligerent mood
when the rate conference of ~
middle western states was called
to order today.
Five hundred delegates attend
ed the conference.
Resolutions are being consider
ed asking the government to pros
ecute the railroads. 1t is probable
that they will be adopted.
Gov. Stubs, in his opening ad-
dress, said that the railroads had
combined to advance rates at an
unprecedented scale.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-09-22
8 FOOTER GIVES
POLICE A TUSSLE
By United Press Leased Wire

(By United Press Leased Wire.D
PORTLAND, Ore, Sept. 22.-
When Charles Newland, a sheen
herder, who stands an even eight
feet in his stocking feet, awaken
ed in the city Jail this morning, bic
Immediately demanded instantane.
GUS trial on the charge Of drunk.
|enneSs.
Newland was arrested by three
policemen last night. AS he weighs
312 pounds, it took eight men to
lift him into the patrol. At the
police station, special arrange
ments had to be made to accom-
modate the big herder. He was
given a cell to himself and two
mattresses instead of one. New
lands shoes are size Is.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-09-22
Shoots Woman;
Hangs Himself

CLEVELAND, o., Sept. ga
man believed to be B. w. Yates of
Toledo killed himself in the coun-
ty Jail here today, following his
arrest for the shooting and fatal
wounding Of Mrs. Fred Singer, at
the close of an all-night joy ride,
ending at a roadhouse. Yates
hanged himself with his handker-
chief,
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-09-22
Catarrh Cannot Be Cured

with LOCAL APPLICATIONS, as they
cannot reach the seat Of the disease. Ca
tarrh 10 blood or constitutional disease.
ana In order to cure II you must take
y taken Internally, and acts directly ON
me blood and mbooug surfaces. Halls
Eatsrrh Cure Is not quack medicine.
y was prescribed by one of the best
Pnysieiane In this country for years and
y = regular prescription. It is composed
q the best tonics known. combined with
the best blood purihers. acting directly
combination Of the two inrredients n
what produces such wonderful results IN
curing Catarrh. Send for testimoniaIw
free. v. JNeHENEY a CO., Props,
Sold By Druggists, price TIC.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipa-
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-09-22
TRY TO COLLECT
FROM TRACTION
COMPANY

Commissioner Woods was or
dered by the city commission this
morning to make out a bill and
collect from the Pacific Traction
company for the expense of
tearing up the Cliff avenue tracks.
The matter was brought up by
Mayor Fawcett, who was seconded
by Freeland, and the commission
voted to compel the company to
pay the bill. If 1t refuses the mat
ter will be given the city attor-
neys for collection.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-09-22

Eddy, submitted today, showed a
total loss of 1918. in member
ship during the year, as against q
gain of 10, Ala. The los was dis.
tributed as follows: BY death
1923; by honorable discharge
365; by transfer, 1916; by sus.
pension, 1907; from delinquent
reports, sos.
There are today 213,901 mem.
bers in good standing. The sum OF
$91,215.36 was expended in char.
ity during the year.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-09-22
Little Things That
Happen Around Town

court. Hornaday was arrested
last week at his home near Sum-
ner. His daughter is in a city
maternity home.
The county commissioners have
made arrangements with the
Northern Pacific Railway COM
pany to construct a spur track
between its line and the G. M.
& P. 8. to the rock crusher near
Electron, so that rock can now be
hauled on both roads.
w. @. AIbee, superintendent of
the Northern Pacific, Rev. F. H.
Groom and Rev. e. c. Wheeler
will give 15-minute talks at the
meeting of the Mems club of the
Universalist church tomorrow
night. A social lunch will fol-
low the program.
Marriage licenses were issued
yesterday to Alfred H. Treleven
and Julia A. Crosley of Tacoma,
Paul L. Stoll and Anna Larsell
of Tacoma, j. H. Stewart and M.
e. Blakesley of Tacoma; Charles
Bell and Verda Cantrell of Les
ter, Fred Fosdick and Hilma
Lundell of Tacoma, Charles K.
Rohde and Marie Johnson Of
Buckley, L. C. Shoup of Seattle
and Clara L. Fields of Boise,
Idaho,
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-09-22
QUEENS BODY STOLEN

GENEVA, Sept. 22.-The BODY
of Queen Hotrense, mother of Ma
poleon III, has disappeared from
the chapel attached to the Cha
teau of Arenberg, and is believed
to have been stolen.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-09-22

III. b. Stone is i'm the city bas-
tile, and thereby hangs a Tale of
Two Grips. One was stolen, the
police charge, by Stone from Ray
Hessey, from a rooming-house at
Ninth and d streets. The other
grip was the mighty one of the
law which Stone encountered
shortly after.
Lorine Mirise, suffering under
the delpsion that all the world is
awry, and accusing his daughter
of wrong-doings, was committed
to the insane asylum this morn
ing by Judge Chapman. He has
been residing at 1913 South
Eighth street.
III. w. Leuders in his race for
superior court Judge nomination
against Henry P. Burdick is gain
ing, and today at noon, with five
precincts to be heard from, he is
70 votes ahead. The figures
gave Leuders 1855, and Burdick
27s5.
The charges against William
Hornaday, accused of a series of
crimes against his daughter, was
dismissed when the case came up
for hearing in Judge Graham s
court this afternoon and imme-
diately following information
was filed direct in the superior
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-09-22

Wanted-Boys to sell papers
on the most prominent corners of
the city. Good pay. Apply to
Mr.. Perkins, Tacoma Times, or
phone A1733-Main 1888. $50
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-09-22
new KRUPP Gun TO BRING DOWN MAN-BiROS

Those who practice and pro
mote the arts of war hardly had
time to become alarmed over the
menace of the aeroplane before
the Krupps. German g'unmakers,
had set to work to get" the aero
plane-so FAR as war is concerned.
They thdnk they have succeed
ed, and after several years of Ia
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1910-09-22
HE'S CHAMPION HIGH DIVER.

Eweit Bonn, 19-months-old of Mrs. E. Bonn, 1907
South Thirteenth street. has the distinction being able
dive II feet from the story pave
ment and up smiling.
This beats the Barnnm SHOW trick of diving onto in
cained oak plank all hollow
Ewet playing with toy watch and toddled to the
open window The watch fell youngser
after III and landed in heap
mother ram down and expected to pick dead baby
doctor called and he could find nothing
only of fall a small I'm mil
utes the child playing usual.
Cañon City record., 1910-02-24
WILLIAM LINEGAR OF LINCOLN
PARK COMMITTED SUICIDE THIS
MORNING ABOUT II O'CLOCK

Several times during the last few days
he had been heard to remark that he
would be better off dead than alive,
but no special attention was paid to
these utterances as they were be-
lieyed to be prompted by one of these
attacks OF the blues" to which most
of mankind are now and then ex-
posed. Mr.. Hoyt had occasion to go to
Brookside this morning. and. taking
advantage of that fact L.inegar made
arrangements TO end his life. After
Mr. Hoyt had driven away from the
premises he crossed the street 20 the
fruit house Of J. E Fridmger. where
he knew a loaded rifle was constantly
kept by the owner. and took the gun.
n thirty-two calibre weapon. from the
wal! and placed the muzzle against
the side OF his head and pulled the
trigger. The bullet penetrated his
brain and passed out a short distance
above the left ear. Mr.. FridinEer was
not nj home At the time and nothing
was known OF the suicide until the re-
turn Of Mr.. Hoyt about noon when a
search was Instituted to find Linegar.
who had mysteriously disappeared.
The coroner was summoned and made
a cursory examination OF the sur
roundings. preliminary TO ordering an
inquest into the causes OF death. The
body was brought so town at noon
and taken TO Wilson's undertaking
rooms where II will be held until to-
morrow morning when the inquest
will be held. Linegar was something
OF a capitalist and by plain living and
strict economy had accumulated an
estate esfimted TO be worth about
$40 900. His relatives in Nebraska
have been teiegraphed the news OF his
death.
Cañon City record., 1910-02-24
SCHOOL BONDS
CALLED OF DIS
TRICT NO. ONE

At special meeting of the board of
education this morning, the treasurer
of school district No. I, A. H. Davis,
was instructed to call $500 high
school bonds of the district now due,
and for the payment of which there 10
money in the treasury for this pur-
pose. 1t is thought that almost a SIM
liar amount may be paid next fall
thus greatly reducing the bonded in
debtedness of the district. Should the
bond issue for the new school build
ing in East Canon carry at the special
election March 10. it will not be nee
essary to increase the tax levy in the
district for this purpose on account
of the ability of the district to cor
respondingly reduce the bonded in
debtedness on the old bonds.
Cañon City record., 1910-02-24
SAW COUPLE OF ANTELOPE
IN GARDEN PARK TERRITORY

Yesterday morning while DR.. Hart
Goodloe and II, l., plnmmer were
duck shooting on one OF the Atwater
reservoirs In the Garden Park terri
tory they saw n couple OF antelope n
short distance away from their hunt
ing grounds. They were almost as
tame as sheep and. II is supposed. they
had been driven down from their ma
tural habitat and feeding grounds in
the mountains by the recent storms.
From the great number OF tracks DR..
Goodloe and Mr.. Piummer noticed In
the snow about the reservoir they ex-
prcssed the opinion that there must
hers dosenc.or 90 antelope In the
bunch.