Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1910-02-16
A MARK TWAIN STORY
Showing What May Be Achieved
by Nerve and Federation.
q LESSON IN PERSEVERANCE.
Going to Prove Thss Repetition Viii
Work Wonders if q Man Has Only
the Necessary Amount Of Cheek to
Stand Up and Keep on Talking.


Stand Up and Keep on Talking.
Mark Twain once told reporter
that if MIA says the same thing Of
ten enough people will begin TO listen
10 him
Now" said the great humorlst.
there was that story about Hank
Monk That was the Oldest. stalest.
driest. deadest bit Of alleged humor
that any man ever heard. 1t had been
circulated around Nevada and Cali
fornia until there wasn't a man left
who would even listen TO Il. ! had
heard il SO many times that / knew II
by heart. IL told how Hank Monk got
Horace Greeley over the Glennbrook
grade TO Placerville.
Il was about TO deliver my second
lecture ut Platt's hall in san Fran
ciscO-the second one had ever de
livered. 1t occurred to Inc that !
might begin that lecture with the
worst story I had ever heard and 10y
telling IL often enough start the lee
ture with 4 big laugh. I took that
story and memorized it SO that il
would not vary in the telling. and
made IL just rs pointless and just as
duh and just rs dry rs l could.
When il came time for me 10 talk
l stood up and with a few introduc-
tory remarks began that story II I
remember il went something like this:
Horace Greeley once went over
the Glennbrook grade 10 placcrviIle.
When he was leaving Carson City be
told the driver Hank Monk. that he
had an engagement to lecture at
Placerville and was very anxious 10
go through quick. Hank Monk crack
ed his whip and started or ut an aw-
ful pace. The stage bounced mp and
down in such n terrific way that &c
jolted the buttons all OF Horace's coat
and finally shot his head clean through
the roof OF the stage. and then he yell
ed 10 Hank Monk and begged him 10
go easier-said he warnt in as much
OF n hurry rs he had been awhile
ago. But Hank Monk said. Keep
your seat Horace. and I'll get you
there on timer' And he did. too-what
was left OF him.
Nov. that was all there was 10 the
story. 1t was bad enough 20 begin
with, but ] made il worse in the tell
ing. 1 droned il out IN a Gar. monoto-
nous tone. without n gesture 60 mar its
depressing effect The people received
II in dead silence. I had insultcd every
man in the audience had 'gravcled
them with story that was not only
stale and pointless. bat one which they
had heard NJ least thousand times.
waited a few seconds for the laugh
ter. and then I began 90 hem and haw
and shift my feet. I tried 10 appear
just as embarrassed as | could, and
after fioundering about helplcSsly Tor a
few sentences cheered mp Il little and
said that / would tell 4 funny anec-
ldote which might be new 20 them. IL
began
"'Horace Greeley went over the
Glennbrook grade 20 placcrville'-
Il told it in exactly the same miser-
able, pointless way that ! had told il
before, and when got through ] wait
ed a longer time for a., applause. but
there wasn't any applause. ! could see
that several men in the house wore
growing quite indignant. They had
paid money To hear a humorous lee
ture. took long breath and plunged
in a third time, more embarrassed and
clustered and worried than ever. and
10y and by / worked around again TO
the time when Horace Greeley went
over Glennbrook grade 10 Placerville.
This time some of the smarter ones
began TO laugh. and this encouraged
me so much that ! thanked them ana
started right in TO tel the story over
again, never varying the delivery 50
much rs pause 20 take breath The
fourth time fetched 'em. and ut the
end OF the story they. stood up and
whooped and yelled and cheered for
some time
You see, ! thought that If a man
had sand enough to stand up before an
audience and tell the Oldest. stalest
and most uninteresting story IN the
world he could make people laugh Il
he had the nerve to ten the story often
enough. The rest Of ny lecture went
very well. They were willing to laugh
at my anecdotes the first time ! tod
them Maybe they were afraid ! would
tell them a second time.
Il felt so sure shat had discovered
q new phaso Cd human character that
] tried Il, --,e thing ID New York
years afto-D@cC. There was an an-
thOrs' read. lce one afternoon, and
most Of f.r authors read selections
from the: cri.s. sat Ola the plat.
form b. Janes Russell Lowell
He askei 'c WHAT ! was going to
read. ! al1 ia, I wasn't going to
read anyt1r@. intended to tell an
anecdote.
lis il funny oaeT lie asked
Il said it O,uld be If lasted long
enough.
Il started ,-; without ANY preamble
and / told link Monk anecdote
There was ga awful silence at the
end. ] took drink Of water, mopped
my forehead and told the story again.
Same effect -onns man, / told that
story FIVE til.as before l landed 'em
When ! sat Gown az last Mr.. Lowell
whispered 70 me:
"'You have cost me dear. ] have
been sitting bore and wasting sympa.
thy on you
That's the point, young man. Repe-
tition viii do anyth.rs If a man has
the sand 70 stand up and keep on talk.
ing"-New York American.
Mors's the Pity.