The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1910-06-22

about to break out. she halted and
said:
Il want you to either quit smokir.
altogether CIR buy a cheaper brand of
cigars. ! want that money for gloves
and hosiery"
IL luit-SlnOking"
IL mean it. sir. You belong to about
ten different clubs. and your dues and
donations foot up $500 or $500 Il year.
Cut the clubs down to two. That
money is to GO to buy me hats. Send
III your designations tomorrow.
Never mind what you want to say.
! am doing the saying now. Yesterday
there was n man here who said you
wanted to buy a new milk COW from
him. | gave him one look, and he
made for the gate. Had you bought a
COW without my knowledge and con-
sent ! should have broken her back
within fifteen minutes. No hens. no
pigs, no cows!"
"And you are talking to me, are
your" asked Mr.. Bowser as he rubbed
Ills eyes uAU lOONCU dkulu.
Fright to you. sir. We are about out
of coal again. Whose fault Is It?
Yours. sir. You come home to trot
down cellar and shovel half a ton into
the furnace. no matter how warm it
Is. and then | have to open the win
dows. Let the furnace alone after
this. And ! want to speak to you
about the cellar being whitewashed
this spring. You will at once. say you
will do it yourself and save $1,000.
You'll do nothing of the kind. won't
have you puttering around the house,
by the great horn spoon. Mrs. Bow.
ser!!" he exclaimed as he stood up.
But she pointed her finger at him, and
he slowly sank down again.
Cut the spoons out, sir! You are
not in a saloon. but in the house of
Mrs. BowSer. If you wish to remain
here he careful Of your language"
He giOaned and looked around the
room in Il helpless way. Mrs. Bowser.
claiming the house!
Its about time you brought home
another patent fire escape. There'll b.
a row raised over the next one that
comes into the house, and you might
as well know ii now. If this house
takes fire in the night and You haven't
energy enough to jump down into the
front yard y"u a stay and get warm
ed up. Perhaps a few blisters might
do you good"
Mrs. Bowser Holds the Floor.
"I-I-I"-
Il have the floor, Mr.. Bowser. In
your sleep the other night you We're
talking about flying machines. If you
are thinking of investing in any such
fad look out for me. There'll be fly
ing, but it will be something besides
the machine that will spread it's wings. |
And you were muttering something
about going in search Of DR.. Cook.
You drop it. DR.. Cook knows where
he is, and that's enough"
"Have-have l gone crazy or have
you? asked Mr.. Bowser in very quiet
tones.
"You are just OF the verge of going
to a lunatic asylum, but l hope to save
you. You have delusions. You think
you are the boss of this house. You
think you al kick gates and doors |
open and slam around as you please.
You think you can read me lessons Oh
economy and then come home and
blow about what q poor dinner l set
before you. You think. like Il bull. |
that the louder you roar the sooner
you will scare somebody. You must |
cut it out or I'll have you sent to an
asylum. You are really getting to be
dangerous. Now put on your hat and
coat and take a walk and try to get
the cobwebs out of your BRAIN"
IL think l WILL" he said, and he
did. He walked down to the corner
and then back to the other corner and
then entered the drug store. He soft
~ approached the counter and whis-
pered to the druggist:
"Say, say. who am IT,
"Why, Thompson, Of course" was
the ready reply as the druggist caught
on.
Mr.. BOwser looked at him a moment
in a queer, puzzled way and then turn
ed around and tiptoed out. He had
home to raise IA row. and where
was he now?