Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1910-09-02
( VELVET 2l RAGS )
INDIVIDUAL opihIok) }
( BY LUE +. VERNON J
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A man of letters (to the Seattle p
L.. anyhow, John f. Humphries, of
Seattle.
What has become of the woman
who used to say: Hurry up I!
| We got to get dinner, and do hun
dred and fifty other things? ?"
X X x
Seattle has three United States
Senatorial parrots-they all talk and
labber at the same time, which con-
fuses and. at the same time, which
amuses their listeners.
\ \
A Brooklyn, New York, man beat
his wife with his wooden leg. The
wife has applied for a divorce. 1t
will be observed the wife does not
consider the beating a corking affair.
The Leavenworth Echo runs this
inscription underneath its name on
WV CuibOt ihi I,dSe.
" Scraps from the Intellectual Junk
Heap. Some Newspapers call it Ed
itorial.'
The editor of the Sunnyside SIM
is Freeman, seemingly, in name
only. His editorials prove beyond
doubt that he is tied hand and foot
with the Taft-Cannonism-Aldrich-
ism-Ballingerism, political rope.
4 +
Reports from Seward, Alaska, re-
ceived here to-day are that the salmon
pack in the Bristol Bav district and
also at Karluk and Uyak, Kodak Island,
will fall far short of the average. 1t is
believed the output will not be more
than three-fOurths OF the usual pack
Tacoma Ners.
Il love my salmon, but o, you
Olympia oyster!
4 4
Seattle is up-to-date. No question
as to that. One, on a Sunday night
in Seattle. may, it desirable attend
the Dreamland Rink in that city,
and waltz, then listen to q fifteen
minute talk on religion; then two
step. another religious talk; q waltz
then another religious talk, and soon.
Yes, Seattle is up-to-date. Indeed
it is.
The following clipped from the
p L. Of Aug 9th 1910:
Washington has IL. .85S. 900 bu crop"
l know Washington State can pro-
duce a l3, 1853 600 crop of most any
thing. but by iinks, l must confess
that / am puzzled as to what "bu"
is. Blu is certainly a new one on me.
To read that Washington has 3D.
858. 100000 bushel CROP of wheat,
would not be half so mystifying.
"A convertible wagon bed which can
be changed into Is different kinds of
bodies for AS many uses about farm
without adding to or taking from it q
single piece has been invented. ."-Chi-
cago Tribune.
Certainly this is some bed. Yet
when one thinks of the political bed
which can be changed into eight
thousand, nine hundred and fifty
seven different kinds i it really
seems the invention of this converti-
BILE wagon was q huge waste of time.
+ 4 +
IN. B. Parkman, a prominent farm
er near Oakesdale, has named the
new Spokane and Inland station on
his farm Nimbus." The ten-point
apples grown on his farm have also
been named Nimbus." A neigh
Dor bet Parkman q new hat that
there wasn't a station. in the world
by that name, but he had to pay
the bet, because some religious man
down on the Southern Pacific in
California had q station near his
place named Nimbus, after the halo
which encircles the head of our
Saviour.
An Athens dispatch in the P.-L
of a recent date says "a swarm of
locusts recently invaded Athens,
rendering the streets slippery with
their crushed bodies." Swarms of
high-rent business and residence
owners and agents in Seattle are
rendering the streets of that city
slippery. with their inflated prices,
which compel the business and resi-
dence seekers to vamoose from the
Queen City. The number of people
leaving Seattle in consequence OF
such highway robbery in rent. keep
the streets slippery, so to speak.
4 4 4
In letter written from Pittsburg,
Pa, to his parishoners in Seattle. by
the Rev. NJ. A. Matthews, pastor of
the First Presbyterian church, of
that city, among other things, the
preacher says:
81 have met your Cousins. uncles,
aunts, mothers. fathers. brothers, sisters
and sweethearts, and will b.. able to tell
about them when l RETURN
Why should he 1t may cause i'll
feelings between him and some of
his flock. Where is the man. even a
pious, sanity, member of a church
who wants to hear about his cousin
Tom vino was hung for murder;
uncle Dick, who is doing time in the
Penitentiary for forging check;
Aunt Mary being taken to the in
sane asylum; mother being turned
away from home in her old age;
father dying in the poorhouse; breth-
er stabbing man in saloon during
q brawl; sister now running house
of i'll fame in Chicago, and sweet
hearts who have proved tickle,
false - untrue? Even preachers
should remember there are times in
the affairs of many men and women
on this Earth - even though they
profess piety, when words are bet
ter left unsaid.
Catch the idea. Matthews?
TRUE EcOurteSy is such a rare virtue