Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-02
TIT H. ALBRIGHT of Bellevue, o..
wv has discovered somethinp new


w has discovered something new
to worry about. No, it's not
altogether new, either: but Mr.. AL
bright has approached an old worry
in new way, and that's practically
the same thing after all.
Whenever there's worrying to be
dono Ohio may be counted upon. They
like to worry in Ohio. The worry crop
never fails there. Perhaps it's be-
cause they are so accustomed to 'view-
ing with alarm" whenever the other
party happens to be in political power,
or perhaps it's because of the climate
certainly the Ohio climate is some
worry in itself.
just now Mr.. Albright is worrying
about the comets tail. To be sure,
other men have done that same thing,
but Albright isn't afraid the world is
going to be asphyxiated. No Stree.
Ec got new line on that tail. He's
worked it all out, too, by mental arith-
metic and other branches of higher
mathematics; and he's sent his find
inss to the secretary of the navy.
It's little thing Mr.. Albright asks
the naval secretary to do; merely to
recall from the Philippines all the
soldiers and sailors now stationed in
the islands. The Philippines, you see,
are in the danger zone, and while
Albright doesn't so much care If the
natives get theirs, he doesn't want
to see Uncle SamuePs young men
suffer.
In EXPLANATION of his so1icitude the
Bellevue man says that the gases in
the comets tail are of such con-
stituency that they will refract the
rays of the sun and focus its heat.
He figures that the focal point Will
fall in the Philippines and that the
islands will be burned to cinder un-
der this celestial burning glass.
Mr. Meyer hasn't answered the
Ohioan's communication. He's still
thinking about it.
s.
"Tama Jim" Wilson. who has been
in the cabinet for so long and through
so many administrations that he has
become quite as much a fixture IN
washington as is the capitol dome it
self, has slyly opened the Kitchen
door, put his foot against the tamb
and then has talked right out loud
lust as though he didn't care whether
the cook heard him or not.
The secretary of agriculture mas
new hobby, the conservation, OF
kitchen resources" OF what avail is
IT. asks Tama Jim, that the American
farmer is the best agriculturist In
the world; that his grains are the most
nutritious, his potatoes the meal1est
and his garden truck the most sue
culent, IL all these good qualities are
to be lost in cooking that would dis
grace even a school of household eco
nomics? There's no answer to tnat'
of course. Even echo Is silent.
The secretary, however, is no alarm
ist. He doesn't believe the national
digestion is going to play out all at
once lust because Mary Ann doesn't
cook as mother used to cook. But he
does believe Mary Ann should learn
n thing or two, and he purposes to
teach her.
to Increase greatly the nutritive value
not of farm products, but OF the rood
that comes to the table, to lessen It's
cost and to make 1t more palatable.
Housewives, he says, should be taught
how to buy, what to buy and what TO
do with their materials after they've
bought them.
The agricultural department is go
ing to publish a pamphlet along these
lines. Perhaps you've heard of THE
White House Cook Book" Tama Jtm's
publication Is going to make that vol
ume look like a one-ring circus. he
saws 1t will be easy-almost as easy as
taking birdseed from cuckoo clock'
Sometimes when the office goes man
hunting curious things happen. Back
In Waukegan, ILL.,, there's a case In
point. Truly almost anything might
be expected of town with name
like that, but this most recent hap
pening is worthy Of record, even for
Waukegan. ss.
They held an election for city Off.
GERS the other day. In the third ward
there was one nominee, a Republican,
named Charles Baadeker. The Demo-
Gratis wanted ]. w. Barwell to run
against him, but Barwell refused.
what's more, he said positively that
he wouldn't have the office even II ne
was elected to 1t.
Then a queer thing happened. The
third ward voters went into their
election booth and painstakingly wrote
the name of ]. w. Barwell on their
tickets. Barwell won all the way; but
Barwell is sticking to his ante-elec-
ton declaration. He mt qualify for
the office and he won't serve. Now
they're going to have another election
In the third, and they say they'll elect
Barwell all over again. If he refuses
after that he's an inprate and no true
Democrat.
Ollie Vilsack, Pittsburg millionaire,
hired Miss Gladys Brace to marry him.
OF course, he probably could have
found some girl who would have ac-
commodated him without demanding
to be paid in advance for it, but he