davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31
Unpublished utterances.

Herein is set down a hitherto un-
published utterance of Emerson. There
is no doubt of it's authenticity: AN
a boodely boodely boodely boo, dood-
ely doodely doo!" 1t was his favorite
way of addressing babies. Carlyle In
variably addressed babies thus:
hockey hockey hockey koo, hockey
hockey koo!" Occasionally he varied
that with: "Keekey keekey keekey
kee, keekey keekey keel" Shakes
peare's conversation with babies was
this: "Too r-o-sey! Too r-o-sey!" Sir
Francis Bacon was simply: "Klklk.'
David Hume said: "Boo!" Charles
Dickens use to say: "Heao, faint oc
yaph a itty bit?" Sir Isaac Newton
used to say: acknowledgement
George Eliot used to say: "Cunnin
sin! Burdie!"-Puck.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31
Goaded.

Saving became a passion with the
man and the woman. No privation
was too great, If so be by it they
might add to their accumulations.
And they labored jointly. The wom-
ans sacrifice was in every respect
equal to that of the a
But when they had amassed $40, 600
the man, because he had the power,
took the money and purchased with
it, not the automobile which he had
led his faithful wife to expect, but a
home.
"Brute!" she cried, and when next
a mob of s~uffragettes came that way
she joined them. Who could blame
her?-Puck.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31

derbilts. To be under the shadow OF
the divorce court is the fate of more
than half the children that have al
ready been born of the Vanderbilt
unions. In fact, they are all exposed
to this malady and its results more or
less directly, as other children are ex-
posed to the measles and the whoop-
ing cough. Whether it takes" or not
in their own immediate families, there
are those who believe that there are
none of the Vanderbilt families but
who have this fate impending-that
even If it never drops divorce is al
ways a sword of Damocles hanging
over the heads of the most devoted of
them.
At present there are five Vanderbilt
children Of the younger generation
whose fathers and mothers have en-
joyed immunity from the divorce
courts and who have only come in
contact with it second hand.
There are also Just five who through
no fault of their own are short on IA
Tiers" and who, getting along with
one parent, are left to puzzle their
baby heads as best they al over
what has become of the other. Whether
this shortage will increase into a
multiplicity Of fathers and mothers by
each parent marrying again is the
question which is now occupying
those who are close enough to see the
motions Of that part of the Vanderbilt
family which are separated.
Children involved In Muddle.
OF the children already involved in
the divorce or separation muddles
there are:
Willie H. Vanderbilt, son of Alfred
Gwynne Vanderbilt, aged eight.
Muriel and William K, children OF
Willie X. Vanderbilt, Jr.
Marquis of Blandford and Lord Ivor
,Spenser Churchill, children Of the
duchess of Marlborough.
Among those not vet affected are:
Cathleen, daughter Of Reginald Van.
derbilt.
Cornelius and Grace, children Of
Cornelius III, as he Is usually called
but really Cornelius senior. as he IL
o the oldest member Of the family.
The two children of Mrs. Harry
Payne Whitney, who was Gertrude
Vanderbilt, bring this number up tc
FIVE.
How far this will 90 and where Il
will stop; to what extent 1t will breal
up the possibility Of the perpetuatint
OF a great family and a great fortune
by always keeping one Of the sons al
'the head" is the question which agi
tates those who are most interested II
the vanderbilts.
Parents Set the First Example.
That the newest and latest separa
ton Of Willie X. Jr., from his wife
who wal Miss Virginia Fair. and that Q
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31
Marriage.

A game Of chance in which the
chances are about even. The man
leads at first, but after leaving the
altar he usually follows breathlessly
in his wife's trail. The rules are very
confusing. If a masked player holds
you up some night at the end of a
long gun it is called robbery" and
entities you to telephone the police;
but If your wife holds you up for a
much larger amount the next morn
ing at the end of a long hug, it is
termed diplomacy and counts in her
favor. In this, as in other games OF
life, wives are usually allowed more
privileges than other outlaws.-Judge.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31

Some remarkable mistakes in me-
MORALS have totally escaped notice
until 1t was too late to rectify them,
The spurs on the boots Of Cromwell's
statue at Westminster abbey, London.
are the most interesting feature Of
the monument, although they general
~ get no attention at all from sight
seers. They are worn upside down.
IN a painted window on the staircase
which leads from the floor Of West
minister palace to the committee
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31
Some Blunders in Memorials

rooms an inscription on a sword
welded by the BLACK Prince has
the words Prince Of Whales" Again,
IN the fresco depicting the embarka-
ton OF the pilgrim fathers in the cor
ridor leading from the outer lobby at
st. Stephens to the house Of lords
the Mayfiower is shown to be hoisting
the Union jack--a flag which did not
come into existence until over $50
years after the days Of the historic
Mayfiower
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31
DIVORCES IN THE WANDER
BlLT FAMILY.

w. X. Vanderbilt divorced and
married again.
Consuelo Vanderbilt separated
from the duke Of Marlborough,
Mrs. w. X. Vanderbilt divorced
and married to o. n. r.. Belmont.
Mrs. Frederick Vanderbilt d.
vorced from her first husband.
Alfred Vanderbilt divorced.
Willie X. Vanderbilt, Jr., talk
ing of divorce.
Elliot Shepard, great-srandson
Of Commodore Vanderbilt, once
separated from his wife.
Col. Vanderbilt Allan, the SON
ln-law Of William Henry Wander
bit, who was divorced from the
wife he married after the death
Of his first wife, the daughter Of
W. n. Vanderbilt.
Mrs. Clarence Collins, grand
daughter Of Commodore Wander
bilt, divorced. 4
Countess Czaikowsky, great
granddaughter Of Commodore Van
derbilt, divorced.
Leroy Dresser, the brother Of
Mrs. George Vanderbilt, sued for
divorce.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31

the duchess of Marlborough from the
duke is only natural with the example
set by their own father and mother is
conceded. 1t was only a short time
after her own marriage that the
duchess of Marlborough had the OPP
portunity to exercise all her diplomacy
from the embarrassing habit which
her own father and mother formed Of
marrying again, and it was noticed
that she was quite equal to the occa-
sion.
Her father, Willie X. Sr, was mar
ried to Mrs. Rutherford In London,
and the duchess was present. After
the ceremony she kissed her father
and wished him happiness, and she
has always been on friendly terms
with his new wife. She has also been
on the most affectionate terms with
her own mother, who married o. H.
P. Belmont Immediately after the d.
vorce.s
1t was not SO long after this that
everybody was shocked with the news
that the duke and duchess could no
longer live together-or would no
longer.
Terms Favorable to the Duke.
Under the arrangements of the sep.
aration settlement the children were
to be with their father a small part OF
tho time, and most Of the time with
their mother. But under the English
plan the duchess could not live al
Blenheim, the home of the Marlbor
oughs, but had to content herself with
the beautiful town house presented tc
her by her father. That the duke
looks crusty and unamiable is the
, opinion of many Americans who have
seer him, and tourists who have Wis
tied Blenheim have resented the Sigh
of this small lordling (small In stature
at least) riding horseback wei his es
tate, which had been enriched by hi'
wife's money while its gates wer,
closed to his wife.
Now it Is thought that a reconcilia
ton may be accomplished by tn,
duchess father, and, apropos Of this
the latter has made a remark which il
considered funny when his W matri
monial experiences are remembered.
This nsens Of a separation hai
gone far enough" he said. To try t,
force the pair to live together again
he is reported to be cutting off par
of the allowances that he makes t
both the duke and the duchess. H
has allowed the duke $4,000 a yea
since the separation, and the duk,
soon declared that he could hardl
keep UP Blenheim on 1t SO that |
wouldn't go actually to pieces.
Duchess Lends a Helping Hand.
To help him out the duchess re
lieved him Of the support Of the tw
children, paying for 1t out Of her Al
lowance. In the meantime 1t seems t
those who look at the beautiful poi
traits OF these children that they bot
look out on the mix-up which ser
arates their father and mother wit
wondering eyes.
Whatever happens, the little cuk
OF Biandford cannot be cheated ont &
his patrimony as far as the estate !
concerned, although the fortune tina
| 1t will take to restore" II again whe
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31
Thoughtful Child.

She was just three years old and It
was her first visit to the zoo. When
the towering form Of the elephant ap-
peared in sight, she drew back, clutch
ing at her fathers hand.
Il won't go too close, daddy" she
whispered. II might brighten him
. Detroit News-Tribune.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31

The extraordinary popularity of fine
white goods this summer makes the
choice of Starch a matter Of great i'm
portance. Defiance Starch, being free
from all injurious chemicals, is the
only one which is safe to use on fine
fabrics. Its great strength as a stiffen,
er makes half the usual quantity of
Starch necessary, with the result Of
perfect finish, equal to that when the
goods were new.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31

Laundry work at home would be
much more satisfactory If the right
Starch were used. In order to get the
desired stiffness. it is usually neces-
sary to use so much starch that the
beauty and fineness of the fabric is
hidden behind a paste of varying
thickness, which not only destroys the
appearance, but also affects the wear
ing quality Of the goods. This trou-
BILE can be entirely overcome by using
Defiance Starch, as 1t can be applied
much more thinly because OF its great
er strength than other makes.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31

Josephine, aged ten, has a decided
lisp. She also is very fond of attend
ing the matinee. The other day she
was giving a spirited story of the play
to Marion, who was aged nine.
my mamma says it isn't good for
little girls to go to the theater," said
Marion with an air of self-righteous-
ness, I'm not ever going till I'm 49,
"Humph," retorted Josephine with
out any hesitation, "th'pose you die
when you're theventeen, then you'll
be thtung!"-Woman's Companion.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31
The Rioht Spirit,

Apropos of Valentine day a passen-
ger on the Bermudian said:
Mark Twain once told us, In a little
Valentine day speech on this boat, of
an Irish wooer who had the right val
entine spirit. Acceptance or rejection
he could take with equal grace.
"'Willj We be my valentine?' he said
on February IA to the girl he loved.
mo she replied. I am a%nother's.'
HE heaved a sigh and said:
"'Shure, thin, darlin', wish We
was twins, SO that | could have al
Taste the half of ye.'"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31
Undesirable Acquisition.

A scientist who lost his pet dog
put a little notice in the paper head
ed, Warning" which charitably de-
scribed the animal as having
"strayed," and added:
ut is of no value, not even to the
owner; but, having been experimental
upon for scientific purposes with
many ~virulent poisons, a lick from its
tongue-and it is very affectionate-
would probably prove fatal"
The dog came back next day.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31
The innocent Victim.

II believe" said the blunt individual,
I'm speaking my mind and calling a
spade a spade"
YES" replied Miss Cayenne. MANY
are that way. The tendency is what
corrupts the vocabularies of SO many
parrots
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31
An Inward conuIntion.

Tommy, having disposed of three
helpings Of sausages and d~oughnuts
sat mournfully regarding his empty
plate.
Observing this pensive expression,
Aunt Sarah kindly asked, Tommy,
won't you have some more dough
nuts?"
"No'm!" the poor lad replied, with
feeling emphasis, II don't want them
l got nowi"-Harper's Magazine.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31

Marjorie. aged six, was speeulatively
examining the noodles in her soup.
Mother" she asked. what are
noodles made OFF,"
Dorothy, aged eight. bursting with
knowledge. laughed scornfully. Il
know she volunteered. They are
not made at all, you silly goose; they
grow-just like spaghetti!"-Harper's
Magazine.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31

0AE N&ot1s N&h
kidneys do not fl
ter OFF all the bad
matter. This is the
u of rheumatic
pains, backache and
urinary disorders.
Doan's Kidney Pills
cure weak kidneys.
Rev. A b r a m
Weaver, George
town, Tex, former
editor Baptist Her
aid, says: "At a
Baptist conference
at Jackson, Tex, /
fell from a platform
and hurt my back.
l was soon over the
injury, but the kid
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31
pistemper

In all its forms, among all ages of horses
and dogs, cured and others in the same
stable prevented from having the disease
with Spohn's Distemper Cure. Every bot.
tie guaranteed. Over 100000 bottles sold
last year. $50 and $l.0O. Good druggists,
or send to manufacturers Agents wanted.
Write for free book. 'Spohn Med. Co.,
Spec. Contagious Diseases, Goshen, Ind.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31
Sometimes.

Miss Blithely Interested in ~science)
can one get a shock from a tele-
phone?
The Professor-That depends, my
dear young lady, on who is talking at
the other end.-M. A. p.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31

ordered. passages painful and often
bloody. Doan's Kidney Pills cured
this trouble completely"
Remember the name-Doan's. Sold
by all dealers. Foster-Milburn Co.,
Buffalo, N. Y. so cents a box.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31
How,s This?

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for any
ease OF Catarrh that cannot be cured by Halls
Catarrh Cure.
We, the undersigned. have known F. J. Cheney
for the last 10 years. and believe him perfectly hon.
orabie in all business transactions and financially
able to carry out any obligations made by his nrm.
WALDfNG, KINNAN & MARVIN,
Wholesale Druggists. Toledo. o.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally, acting
aifectly upon the blood and mucous surfaces OF the
system. Testimonials sent free. Price rs cents pR
bottle. Sold by all Druggists.
Take Hall's Family Pills for constipation.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31
Satisfactory to Her

Woman" observed the epigram-
matte boarder, sis a puzzle without an
answer"
"Huh!" snorted old Grumpley. II
never saw a woman without one yet"
STRAY Stories.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31

Takers of the United States Census
willuse Waterman's Ideal Fountain Pen
because it is always ready and sure.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31

You may nave noticed that a woman
never finds a play uninteresting if the
leading lady wears a different gown in
each act.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31

And the man who kills time will
discover that sooner or later 1t VIII
come back and haunt him.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31

An empty human heart is an abyss
earth's depths cannot match.-Annie
c. Lynch.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31
The Feminine Bias.

why doesn't our canary sing,
papa?"
He's getting a new coat
why, surely, that should make him
sing well!"-Fliegende Blaetter.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31

Laughter is one of the very priv
ileges Of reason, being confined to the
human species.-Leigh Hunt.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31

The best people on earth are your
wife's folks-so she thinks.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31

Pettit's Eye saIve First Sold in 1907
100 years ago, sales increase yearly, wonder
full remedy; cured millions weak eyes: All
druggists or Howard Bros, Buffalo, n. Y.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31
Found w anting.

$50 he has lost faith in deep breath
ing?"
Eyes; it wouldn't keep his hair
from falling ut."-Houston Chronicle.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31

Vanity is due to a leak in ones wis
dom tank.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31
o the workaday "

q the WorKaday WorIu,
which wonderingly reads
of the increasing number
of divorces Of the Van
derbilts, the most puz-
cling and at the same
time the most tragic
aspect of their matri-
monial record is its eff
fect unon the little Van
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31
AM Ahsolute NeoessitY.

Wifey-You told me the other day
we must avoid all Injuries and on
fine ourselves to absolute necessities
only.
Hubby-That's so, my dear.
Wifey-Well, last night you came
home in a cab.
Hubby-Yes, but that was an abso-
lutte necessity.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31
WELL KIDNEYS KEEP THE BODY
WELL.

When the kidneys do their duty, the
blood is filtered clear of uric acid and
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31
Out Of the Vision.

"In the olden times 1t is said that
1t wa possible for a man to render
himself invisible
"Pshaw! That's not at all remark
ablei Men in this country are doing
1t every day"
lyon don't say 80! How do they
manage itT'
by marrying famous womeni"
Smiths Weekly.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31

Lewis Single Binder straight Sc cigar
is made to satisfy the smoker.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31

has no substitute. No other remedy is 50 effective
for rheumatism. lumbago, stiffness neuralgia or
cold Of any sort. Put upln sc. &c and SOC bottles
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31

Give truth a square deal and it will
not be crushed to earth,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31

Mrs. Justwed-T want a chicken
that l can fry, roast, stew or fix up
any way l want.
Dealer-Here's one, lady, you can
do anything you like with and not
hurt it.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31
Important to Mothers.

Examine carefully every bottle Of
CASTORIA, safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that 1t
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31

he comes of age will have 10 depend
upon the good win Of his grandfather.
Vanderbilt How many more separate
sets of grandchildren this gentleman
win have to settle his money upon
will be seer later. II his son Willie K,
gets q divorce and remarries. In case
this son should acquire another fam
lily there comes the question. will VII
lie K. ST.. be most interested In his
~namesake, Willie X. III. who remains
with his mother, or win he naturally
turn to later children that might be
born to his son Willie K. II.
Whether Mrs. Willie X. II, will re-
marry is wondered about. 1t was her
sister. Mrs. Arthur Kemp, who d.
vorced her husband and declared that
1t was the millions belonging to the
rich married couples that begets all
the unhappiness.
Fate Hangs In the Balance.
In the meantime even more uncer-
tainty awaits the fate of little William
Henry, aged eight, who is the only
child of the Alfred Gwynne Wander
bits. This was the child who was
elected to receive the bulk Of the
other half of the great Vanderbilt for
tune. 1t will be remembered that old
William Henry divided the greater
part of his fortune between his sons
Cornelius and William K. equally. His
other sons, Frederick and George,
and his four daughters. Mrs. Elliot F.
Shepard, Mrs. w. Seward Webb, Mrs.
H. Mckay Twombly and Mrs. w. D.
| Sloane, shared equally In the remain
der of the fortune.
1t was the hope Of the father OF
this large family that Of the two sons
whom he made the chief heirs one
would build up a line Of succession
which would remain stable and re.
ceive the bulk of the fortune. Cor
nelius announced his purpose Of do
ing this, and his eldest son, Cornelius,
generally known as Cornelius III, was
picked as his heir. When this young
man announced his intention of mar
rying Miss Grace Wilson, the beautiful
daughter of a fine New York family,
but seven or eight years his senior,
there was a furious quarrel.
"She Is too old for you, and If you
marry her ! will disinherit you," said
the father.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31

He who does the right today Il
ready Tor tomorrow.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31

PAZO OINTMENTis guaranteed TO cure any case
Of Itching, Blind. Bleeding or Protruding Piles N
ito il DAYS or money refunded. Soc.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31
More ALLIANCES" Now In Sight.

But now Alfred shows signs of mar-
rying again, if his uncertain Tight O.
love" should hit upon some n who
Is eligible to matrimony. Lately 1t
has lowered around Miss Lena Ash
we'll, the London actress, who is in
every way his equal socially and who
is his superior in present standing, on
account of his escapades. Mrs. Elsie
French Vanderbilt has also been in
dulging in what looks like a prelimin-
airy matrimonial skirmish with Count
Won Bentinck, a lieutenant in the Ger
man army.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-31
Son Gives Decisive Answer.

..."N" M.uEH H4Aa.H . E#" .NU ... H"N.H .-
For answer the son Immediately
married her and lost $4,000, 900, which
his father willed to Alfred Gwynne
afterward. It was the largest fortune
ever given up for love. and, strange
to say, the man who lost 1t has
seemed to be the most happy of all
the Vanderbilts in his matrimonial re-
lations,
Mrs. Cornelius Is said to be one of
the few women in her set of New York
society who has brains, and she Is a
perfect society leader. She is a de-
voted mother to her beautiful children,
and under her influence Cornelius has
worked hard in the railroad business.
He has invented several appliances
which are in use on his own and other
railroads. He is a scholarly and I'M
usual man, and there are some who
think that he may have the best gifts
to pass on in succession Of any Of the
Vanderbilts.
But the money, SO the father willed
should be conserved and passed on by
Alfred Gwynne, who married Elsie
French. Alfred was not scholarly
however. He was not even possessed
of the microbe of family devotion. His
reflections, both from the path o.
business and matrimonial allegiance
have been notorious-and costly. They
have cost him his wife and a tire
mendous alimony, and the separation
from his eight-year-old son, William
Henry, the child to whom the bulk o
the fortune was to have been passed
on.