Evening capital and Maryland gazette. (Annapolis, Md.) 1910-1922, 1910-07-29
VERY FEW MALE ANGELS
Only One WAY To Get Rid OF The Mother
ln.Law Marry Some One From
Orphan Asylum

1t doth appear that the mother-in-
law joke has all seasons for its own.
1t is,perennial and belongs to the life
everlasting species. Recently the
act of daughter-in-law who shut her
mother-in-law' mouth effectual
with fly paper. has been commented
upon by the press far and near. The
Frederick Daily News effusues thus
on the subject of 'Motherin-law;
When a man marries he usually
marries his wife's whole family, every
/ mothers son of 'em-and society eX-
poets him to treat those RELATIONSHIP
| law with the greatest kindness and
/ consideration. This is the unwritten
/ law of domestic life but you can bet
your boots or your shoes if you prefer
them, that man, poor man, did not
make this law. Sometimes he rebels,
especially against his wife's mother,
but he always comes out of the game
! a loser. Hence the mother-in-law
I Joke, which goes back to the time of
Cain and Abel. Adam, lucky dog,
escaped the infliction of a mother-in-
law, but he is the only man on record
who ever did. OF course, ladies', we
are only testing. We have the pro-
| foundest regard for that necessary
! appendage to a household mother
in-law. What would home be with
out your wife's mother? Alas, place
of gloom; stagnant pool; desert
of Sahara. OF course there are good
mothers-in-law and the opposite kind.
But the latter are exceedingly rare.
True, We may not particularly fancy
the kind of brand ma-in.law we may
secure in the grab-bag of marriage,
but when we reflect that life is for
the purpose of training character. we
become resigned and put up with the
lady. because we know she is neces-
saray for our good. The average
man is entirely too chesty, and it is
the especial mission of the mother-in-
law to take the conceit out of him, to
reduce him to the proper state of
humility. Many fierce characters,
such as prize fighters. book agents,
and policemen have been reduced to
state of mental pulp by judicious
application of mother-in-law and
rendered so tame that they have
CobCl OOb VI lllG ludb iAChGu
them into shape. 1t is said on good
authority that Mr.. LETTERS is so awed
in the presence of has wife's mother
that he looks as meek as a lamb gar
nished with green peas.
A man may rebel against his mother
in-law but he never gets any sympa-
thy. The women vote him a brute
and the men make mockery of him for
quietly submitting to petticoat
government once he is married. What
is the use of kicking over the marital
traces once you are hitched up to the
cart of Hymen?
So much for the mother-in-law
question from the standpoint of the
man.
But how is it from the viewpoint
of the woman? All there tbs the rub.
What is good for the gander is not
good for the goose. Things are differ
ent then-to tally different. There
are very few women who can get
| along with their mothers-in-law.
At the rate of being considered pro-
liX we say again there are very
few" Why you ask? We give it
up. This is the riddle of the Sphinx.
| If you want to have trouble, Mr..
Husband, just introduce your mother
into your house hold, and then stand
off and look at the result of your rash
ness. Best stand off some distance,
| if you value your safety, and see to it
that your last accident insurance pre-
MUM is paid up. We must admit the
| sad fact that few misguided men
occasionally bring their mothers into
their homes, when their wives mothers
are dead. Just the other day a terri
! BILE affair occurred out West. Mrs.
Clara Brandon got mad with her hus-
band mother, and slapped sheet of
! fly paper, which was we'll besprinkled
with the pestiferous fly dead and dy-
| ing, right over the old lady's fy-trap
beg pardon, we mean mouth. Was
any crime more terrible than this?
1t was magnificent way of stopping
the mouth of Mrs. Lavinia Brandon,
the ma-in-law, and prevent her from
using her jaw, but it was a cruel
procedure, worthy the worst torture
of the Spanish Inquisition. And sad
TO say this awful crime was perpetrat-
ed in the city Of indianapolis, Indiana,
the home of the gentle poet, j. Whit
comb Riley. Justice was speedily
meted out to Mrs. Clara Brandon, who
was fined ten dollars which hubby,
of course, paid out of his hard earned
wages.
Judge, just couldn't stand it.
She criticised my hair and my dress.
did use the fly paper, but she de-
served it," said Mrs. Clara Brandon
There is only one way of getting
rid of a mother-in-law, and that is tC
marry some one from an orphan
asylum. But it is an unchristiar
proceeding thus to evade the trial:
of life. No crosses, no crowns.
There are a few, very few, male
angels, but they have earned theil
positions.