The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-08-12

4 F I were to suggest curr1culum TOT
 the young man who wished to take 1 regular course in a school of jour nalism, preferring that to the actual ex- perience, I would say to him, devote the first two years to meditation and prayer This will prepare the young editor for the surprise and consequent temptation to profanity which in few years he may experience when he finds that the nafne of the Deity in his double-leaded editorial is spelled with little 'gr," and the perora- ton of the article is locked up between death notice and the advertisement of a patent moustache coaxer, which is to follow pure reading matter every day in the week and occupy the top of column on Sunday 'tf." The ensuing five years should be devoted to the peculiar orthog- raphy of the English language. Then put in three years with the dumbbells, sand bags, slungshots and tomahawk. In my own journalistic experience l have found more cause for regret over my neglect of this branch than anything else. l usually keep on my desk during a heated cam paign a large paper weight weighing three or four pounds, and In several instances I have gfound that I could feed that to a constant reader of my valuable paper in stead of retraction.
 Fewer people lick the editor. though, now than did so in years gone by. Many people-in the last two years-have gone across the street to lick. the editor and never returned. They intended to come right back in a few moments. but they are now in a land where change of heart and a palm leaf fan is all they need
 Fewer people are robbing the editor now adays, too, notice with much pleasure. Only a short time ago l noticed that burglar succeeded in breaking into the residence of a Dakota journalist, and after long hard struggle the editor suc- ceeded in robbing him.
 After the primary course mapped out already, an intermediate course of 10 years should be given to learning the typographical art, so that when visitors come in and ask the editor all about the office he can tell them of the mysteries of making paper and how delinquent subscribers have frequently been killed by a well-directed blow with a printers towel. Five years should be devoted to the study of the art of proofreading. In that length of time the young journalist can perfect himself to such a degree that it will take anoher five years for the printer to understand his corrections and marginal notes.
 Fifteen years should then be devoted to l+l. to1 11x- civil service reform looking at 1t from a nonpartisan standpoint. If possible, the last five years should be spent abroad. London is the place to go if you wish to get a clear, concise view of American politics, and Chicago or Milwaukee would be a good place for the young English journalist to go and study the political outlook of England. The student should then take, medical and surgical course, so that he may be able to attend to con tusions, fractures and 50 forth, which may occur to himself or to the party | who may come to his office for retrac- tion and by mistake get his spinal column double e-leaded.
 | Ten years should then be given to the study of law. No thorough metropolitan editor wants to enter upon the duties of his profession without knowing the differ | ence between a writ of mandamus and
 other styles of profanity. He should thoroughly understand the entffe system Of American jurisprudence, so that in case a certiorari should break out in his neighborhood he would know just what
 to do for it. The student will by this time begin to see what Is required of him
 and enter with great zest upon the
 study of his profession.
 l He will now enter upon a theological
 course of ten years and fit himself thor
 oughy to speak intelligently>of the vari-
 ous creeds and religions of the world.
 Ignorance on the part of an editor is al-
 most crime. and when he closes a pow
 erful editorial with the familiar qupta-
 ton, Tt is the early bird that catches
 the worm" and attributes 1t to St. Paul
 instead of Deuteronomy, 1t makes me
 blush for the profession.
 The last ten years may be profitably
 devoted to the acquisition of g practical
 knowledge of cutting cord wood. baking
 beans, making shirts, lecturing, turning
 double-hand springs, being shot out of a
 catapult at circus, learning how to
 make a good adhesive paste that will not
 sour in hot weather, grinding scissors punctuating, capitalization, condemna-
 ton. syntax. plain sewing, music and dancing, sculping. etiquette. prosody