Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1910-10-21
RED TAPE EXPERT
An East indian Clerk Who
Stumped an English Official.
BEAT HIM AT HIS OWN GAME.

In the Fine Art of CircumIoeution eabu
Tara chand Made His Pretentious
Auditor General Appear Like a Rank
Amateur-A True Story.
The government Offices In Whitehall
are supposed to use 'red tape pretty
freely, but the supply In London Is
nothing to what it Is in India. Let
us outline briefly the true history OF
Babu Tara Chand, late Of the subordi-
nate branch Of the Indian civil serv-
! ice. The story is true.
Babu Tara Chand was deputy sub
assistant clerk in the cutcherry Of a
deputy collector In the Swankibagh
district of southern Bengal. The In
land postage rate In India at that
period was three pies, or about l
farthing, for letters weighing one tola.
One fine day when the officials had
concluded the annual or biennial over
| haul of the books Of the cutcherry 1t
was discovered that by some un-
heard of turpitude one stamp OF the
value of three pies Il farthing) had
been unaccOunted for. The stamp
could be clearly traced to the desk
and control of Babu Tara Chand.
Thence 1t had disappeared.
Babu Tara Chand was not summa-
rily dismissed; neither was he made
the target Of criminal prosecution. In
stead he received a lengthy letter on
blue foolscap paper, pointing out In
detail how certain property OF her
most gracious majesty the queen en-
presto wit, one Indian postage stamp
of the value Of three pies-had been
committed to his care on certain
date and that up to the date Of writ
ing no adequate explanation had been
forthcoming of said postage stamp.
The communication fell upon the
luckless Tara Chand like q bolt from
the blue. 1t left but three courses
open to him-viZ
(a) Resign from the service.
(b) Explain the disappearance OF the
farthing postage stamp in manner
deemed satisfactory by the auditor.
(c) Recoup the farthing.
OF these three courses 1t will be
obvious to any person with the shall
lowest knowledge of the Bengal char
acter that the third one (c) was from
the outset beyond the pale of con-
sideration. The first (0 was also too
terrible to contemplate. Therefore
Babu Tara Chand sat down and COM
posed a letter which was masterpiece
In its way and in which he requested
to be relieved from routine service for
q period Of four weeks to enable him
to make such a search among the rec
Ords of the department, etc.. as might
enable him to trace the missing stamp.
This reasonable request was readily
granted.
Four weeks later Babu Tara Chand
applied for further term OF two
weeks wherein to draw up a report
upon the results of his investigations
in pursuit of the Grant postage stamp.
This, having passed through the eight
cen or nineteen different hands neces-
sary for such an application. was In
turn duly granted. and at the end OF
the fortnight Tara Chand submitted
report of 216 fOolscap pages. explain
ing that, despite the most diligent eff
! forts and inquiries on his part, he had
been unable to secure the slightest
clew to the cause Of the deficiency.
When the department Of audits and
accounts had fully digested this docu-
ment and presented report OF the
same In official precis to the auditor
general the auditor general through
the secretary Of the assistant auditor
general of the presidency of Bengal
notified Babu Tara Chand that 1t was
not wholly satisfactory and that the
circumstances bearing upon the loss or
the stamp would have to be definitely
explained and proved or the deficit OF
three pies would have to be made good.
Babu Tara Chand stuck to his guns
and wrote again. He wrote many
times. AS often rs he wrote his eX-
plantations the auditor general wrote
signifying his official dissatisfaction
with the same.
Eventually. one fine day about nine
months subsequent to the discovery OF
the loss and some two years suisse
ouent to its alleged preparation. the
auditor general-his interest In the
matter of farthing postage stamp be-
ing overwhelmed In frontier war
budget-sent an utimatum to Tara
Chand. The loss of the postage stamp
would have to be definitely explained
or its value. the sum Of three pies. be
duly refunded to the treasurer OF the
Swankigabh district.
Then Babu Tara Chand became pos
sessed of an inspiration which even
to this day Is pointed to with PRIDE
and complacency by even the most cir
cumlocutory of the red tape depart
ments within the purview Of the gov
eminent Of India.
Babu Tara Chand wrote to the audi
| tor general as follows:
Sir-In reply to your memo OF th inst.
! / have the honor to state terrible GONNA
grafton of my cook house on 9Th inst,
hopelessly annihilating all documents In
the case of lost postage stamp OF three
pies. property of her most gracious NAL
esty the queen empress. Therefore by
grace of God and under regulation para.
1889 section cxxxi. OF departmental reg
| ulations, volume 81 (BengaD. ! request you
/ forward for my information complete
! copies Of entire file of correspondence In
this case. SO that can report again upon
same to your satisfaction. i have the
honor to be. sir. your most obedient num-
ble servant TARA CHAND.
Deputy Subassistant Clerk to the Deputy
| Collector, Swankibagh.
upIitnr ,rpnprDl never reDIlou.