The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-10-28
SOME REFLECTIONS ON VISIT ID CAPITAL Newly Married Couple Is Gen.
 ter of Interest JOKE AT THE HOTEL in Montgomery Makes It Easier Than Ever to Get Certain
 Articles Made in Peoria and
 Milwaukee
JOKE AT THE HOTEL
BY WALTER HARPER

I occasional convulsion of mirth---a hic- cough of absurdity that cannot be re- pressed. The chief mourner at a funeral has | been known to smile at an unconven- tional spasm of grief from the be- reaved.
 But I was going to tell you about a recent trip to Montgomery. Sometimes we have to make trips to Montgom cry It is directly in the way going down to Mobile, Prattville and other points of importance in the state. Some men with courage even stop off for while
 | But Montgomery is one of the finest old towns in the state. The best peo- pie in Alabama live there-tlll they get money enough to leave on. | On the Pullman opposite my sec tion as we pulled out of the old station in Birmingham was a newly married couple. They did not say so. There was no announcement of the fact. The conductor did not put us wise to the fact but everybody on the car knew they were newly married. | Every other seat in the car was oc- cupied and I had to take the one di- | rectly opposite. No one would exchange with me. I had to stick 1t out all the way to Montgomery.
 They were from somewhere in the hill country No one handed out this information either. It was not neces- sary.
 She was as beautiful and simple and as silly as aAy bride could be and lie was the best example of the wrapped around the finger groom ever saw. He was exquisitely absurd-the acme of lovesick intoxication crystalized with natty side whiskers about the size of pig kidneys and a muctache that was irritatingly delicious. When He and She got their faces close together in the cushions she screamed Q little liquid scream and rubbed her rosy lips with her violet perfumed handkerchief He coughed and looked like a bank clerk accused of embezzlement.
 They pulled off this little perform d crossing, a stop or when 1t was about to pass a mile post.
 Most of the male passengers on the car, including myself. were unmistak, ably married men but every one of us vowed that we had never had it that bad. The married women aboard were mortified. They looked as if they had never been silly enough to kiss their husbands even at home. I am afraid some of them do not
 When the agony was almost over, or rather when the scene shifted, and we were pulling into the electric light ed territory of Montgomery (they have electric lights in Montgomery the cou- pie too ktime to go Into ecstacies over the "beautiful lights"
 ''Just look, an't they purty2"
 They shore is.''
 ''This must be a big city"
 Tt shorely must"
 The fair was on in Montgomery and They seemed to have come from every where. The streets were rivers of rolling humanity. It really looked like a city
 The hotels were full to suffocation. Twenty of us lined up at the desk of one of the biggest and best hotels. Twenty of us subscribed our autographs on the clubs album. The clerk looked on with snug smile-the smile was so smily that we did not recognize the sneaking grin of vengeance behind it.
 After the 20 of us had laboriousy | scrawled out our names and postoffice | addresses the clerk blandly remarked with lisp as he plotted the page:
 "Gentlemen it pains me deeply. but there is nothing doing here, tonight. Every room was taken and reserved last | July, and there is a waiting list over | there in the safe. Even the rugs in the halls are taken. Standing room on the | fire escape was selling at a premium ten | days ago. You may find room under the | cotton warehouse or on the park benches | if you turn in early, but there Is nothing doing here tonight. There is not even bottle of beer left in the cafe I will thank you gentlemen to stand aside and
 
 forward and register"
 "Why in thunder did you allow us to register before you told us that you had no rooms?" demanded a red-headed in- surance agent from Birmingham. "Oh, that is all right, my friend. Don't get mad. Will Shehan will be around | after a while. He will publish your name as one of the prominent guests at this great hotel. It doesn't cost you anything | to sign your name here, and Shehan or the public twill not know 1t tomorrow that you slept among the bullrushes on the bank of the river. No, thank you, I never smoke while on duty. .s ( .~ l don't know just why 1t is. but the travelling men sitting about the Hobbies seemed to be overjoyed when they saw bunch of Birmingham boys thrust upon the cold street to promenade through the long cold night. The laugh they gave us sounded suspiciously like the melody of revenge.
 l I see that Governor Conner charges that Sherifr Hood of Montgomery Is not doing his duty-that everybody in Mont gomery seems to see prohibition vioila- tions but the sheriff.
 | Everybody does see or know of the yio- lation. Sheriff Hood sees and knows per- haps as much or more than anyone else. Even the stranger from Choctaw knows 15 | s-t--- "A