The Washington bee., 1910-12-03

nadht lOSt neF JOB, Id had hom8
right nOw."-New Orleans Picayune.
Hewitt-Lend me a dollar. old man.
Jewett-I never lend money
Hewitt-Give me a dollar. then
New York Press
Farmer-What are you doing in my
apple treel
Thief-Excuse me. 1 just fell OF 3
ballOon.-Fliegende Batter.
Have you ever seen the prisoner at
the bar?"
Yes, judge, and he can drink like
Ash."-Harper's Weekly.
THAT man has done some mighty
good things"
"Yes; was one of them."-LouIs
Vile Courier-Journal.
Teacher-Spring flowers bring forth
what, TOmmie?
TOmmie - Umbrellas. ma'aml-Yon.
kers Statesman.
A woman can thrill as deeply ovex
her preparations for housecleaning as
man getting ready to go fishing.-
New York Press.
Judge-Is that your real namey
Prisoner (who has been up beforel-
No. yer honor it's my 'pen" name.-
Harvard LampOon. -..
MissiOnary-May l ask what course
you intend to take with me?
CanufbaI -ncr.E.H
You'll follow the fish.
Witness-I saw a man with one eye
named wilkins
Lawyer-What was the name of tbs
other eye?
Russian battle songs are written in
minor keys. and instead of being bril-
liautIy martial are sad, telling OF the
soldiers fate.
The population of the earth at the
time of Emperor Augustus was esti-
mated at 54OOOOOO. 1t is now esti-
mated to be about 1885. .OOO.OOO.
The horsepower Of an engine can be
found by the following rule: Square
the diameter Of the cylinder and divide
by two.
GrasshOppers have neither lungs nor
giIIs. but air enters breathing pores
and is conveyed by tubes to all parts
Of the body
"Are you in pain, my little man2'
asked the kind old gentleman.
mo. sir" answered the boy "the
pains in me"
Sadie-Say, honest now. do you like
Maggie? PauIine-W Well, she's got a
good heart. an she means real well.
but Sadie-Neither do I.-Exchange.
Waiter-Be careful Of the soup, gen
tIemen. 1t is so hot that it has scald-
ed both my -Meggendorfer
Blatter.
Moonshine has been found to have a
marked effect on stammering. People
SO afflicted stammer most at the full OF
the moon.-London Scraps.
"COol as a cucumber" is correct sci
entifcally. for that vegetable usually
has a temperature degree less than
the surrounding atmosphere.
There are at least pa groups OF
signs used in Chinese, each group COD
tanning from to 1854 separate char
acters.
| By a remarkable law Of royal eti-
Quette which has existed for number
! of years at the court of Siam no per
son is permitted to sleep in an apart
ment situated above that occupied by
! the king deliberate breach Of this
rule has on more than one occasion
| been punished by death.
While auntie arranged the pantry
shelves her little niece handled the
spice boxes and called each spice by
name Presently she said. "Auntie, I
can read" can you. dear?" answered
auntie YES. auntie." came the reply.
/ but ! don't read like you do. ] read
/ by the smell. "-DelineatOr
The great editor carefully read the
aspiring contributors joke. then. look
ing up from the copy, inquired:
Where's the Other|
! "Other? Why, there isn't any other"
"Um! I thought that Noah took two
of every kind into the ark, New York
Times,
A Sunday school teacher told his pu-
pills at the end Of his lesson that be
would give them a summary. little
/ boy asked
What is q summary. pleaseT
"a summary is an abbreviated synop-
sis Of anything" was the lucid answer.
Exchange.
From the oldest known coin, bearing
Inscription 1900 B. C., to the latest
products Of the mint. the dates. EN-
blems and inscriptions form a cOntinu-
Gus history. corroborating and correct
Ing written history, and give Us the
only Iikenesses we have Of some Of the
great men Of ancient times.
There is a man in London VINO Is a
bit absentminded, but his politeness
never fails him. He went TO church
last Sunday. and when the minister
said let US pray" be responded In
huiihjnR