davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1910-12-29
Our Lack In Humor.

Artemus Ward said that a comic
paper was no worse for having a
Joke in it now and then, and his words
have ever since been quoted as en-
bodying the gospel of wit and humor.
The great form Of American mirth
is the Joke. at Is to laugh" that's our
creed in a sentence. Misplaced cap
itals, awkward spelling. impossible
grammar, infinite incongruity Of situa-
ton, endless wordplay. ~grotesquery OF
action and character, heightened by
pictures equally funny. these are the
things that make us laugh. We are
quick to catch the point of a cartoon,
to enjoy the ~exaggeration Of a carica-
ture. But to smile at the mock-seri-
Gus, to be amused by satire. Is a re-
finement as yet beyond US.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1910-12-29
SANITARY DEVICE FOR HOME
Simple Drinking Fountain Shown In
illustration Herewith Has Many
Points Of Superiority.

While the arrangements of public
institutions are making rapid progress
in securing sanitary conditions. the
average person is looking forward to
having the same benefits in his own
home, says Popular Mechanics. The
ever-flowing drinking fountain in pub
lie school buildings makes a germ
proof method Of obtaining water with
out the aid of a glass or tin cup. Prac-
tically the same sanitary drinking
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1910-12-29
For Home Use.

fountain has made its appearance in a
device that may be attached to any
water pipe connection for use in
homes as well as large and small
school buildings. This simple foun'
tain, as shown In the illustration, has
a few points of superiority, one OF
which is the glass over-1owing cup
When the water is turned Of for the
night or at times when there is nc
use for 1t, the pipe and cup are com
pletely drained through small holes
provided for that purpose. The valve
IS set to make the overflow right on
the water pressure.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1910-12-29
to me. l want to give

Give it back to me. / want to give
you a better tip than that"
Yes, sir. Thank you, sir" beams
the waiter, handing over the two
dimes. The patron tucks them into
his vest pocket and says:
Here's a better tip. Next time
anybody hands o a tip of any size.
you thank him for it,"
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1910-12-29
Ignorance.

1T an aviation meet a spectator ap
preached a policeman and inquired
excitedly, while he pointed at an
aefoplane far. far up in the air:
Say, this is the altitude prize
they're trying for now, isn't it,"
che policeman looked at him scorn
'uI,y.
Altitude. hell" he replied. TITS
the height prize!"
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1910-12-29
The First Comedy.

Thalia is the muse Of comedy and
lyric poetry. Susarion and Dolon. sup
posed inventors of theatrical exhibit
tons, 562 B. c.. performed the hrst
comedy at Athens. on a wagon or
Movable stage. on four wheels. and
were rewarded with a basket of figs
and a cask of wine.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1910-12-29
A Better Tip.

The patron leaves W. dimes on the
change tray after paying the check
for his luncheon. The waiter silently
empties the pieces into his pocket
and turns away. The patron calls
him back.
How much was that l gave YOU
= asks.
Twenty cents. ST..
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1910-12-29
Slow aut sure.

Knicker-what would you call po-
etic justice?
Bocker-If the boy who puts a bent
pin on a chair grows up to get a hat
pin In his eye.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1910-12-29
cad pencil sharpener.

Working on the principle of a pair
Of scissors, which 1t resembles, is a
new lead pencil s%harpener invented
nv a Californian. One lever ends in
. tube to hold a pencil while the 9th.
81 is a knife blade that cuts the WOOD
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1910-12-29
MEASURE HEIGHT OF FLIGHT
Means of Determining Distance Aero
planes Make in Air by Giant
LeveIing Pod.

The small captive balloon. the giant
leveling rod rising high in the air, and
the man, with the transit are means
adopted at aviation meets to determine
the height reached by the contrasting
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1910-12-29
p,,.,n as Energy produc.r.

Containing only 13 PEI cent. OF
moisture. and the balance almost
wholly grape sugar (carbohydrates),
the raisin is on a par with the date
and the dried fg as an energy pro
ducer I'm the system.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1910-12-29
Combination Kitchen utensil.

A combination kitchen utensil IN
vented by a Michigan woman ram
bles a metal mug. One side is
lforsted to form a crater. and
this is hinged a curved plate which
when drawn up. permits the vessel te
hold anything except liquids.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1910-12-29

Those who admire knowledge for its
W sake ought to wish i o see its
elements made accessible to all.-1Sir
William Herschel.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1910-12-29
The Too Busy Man.

Most Of the successful men in this
country are SO busy making money
that they have absolutely no time to
make good citizens of their sons
Chicago Record-H Herald.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1910-12-29
Merely shoppinu.

American Heiress-I want to meet
ONE of the nobility.
English MISUNDERSTANDING OF
larrying any Of them?
American Heiress-I won't say posi-
lively that | will buy one; I'm merely
shopping.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1910-12-29

aeroplanes, says Popular Mechanics
The photograph was taken at the mo
ment Rougier was passing the indica-
tor during aviation week at Brescia
Italy. England's first permanent avia
ton field has a complete system Of
notwithstanding devices, also.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1910-12-29
Old Grouch's Idea.

Marriage" said the serious man
ais an education In itself" yes
commented old Crouch. 1T teaches
you what not to do after you've done
It"
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1910-12-29

Where They Surpass All Others.
Inc only records some people eyer
succeed In breaking are IN going from
Dad to worse.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1910-12-29

DR.. Pierce's Pellets, small. suZar-coated.
easy to take as candy. regulate and invig-
crate stomach. liver and bowels. Do not
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1910-12-29

says she 'opes it'll be of Bobbie Burns
and gentle Mary."-Youth's Compan-
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1910-12-29

By taking n hobble skirt and
sewing up a end of It . very pretty
ragbag may be made In which to put
the others. 130tl0H
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1910-12-29

A collapsible Conscience may be
nor comfortable than an ingrowing
one. but It works as much harm.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1910-12-29

Try Mrs. Austins Famous Pancake
Flour. sure to please, all grocers.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1910-12-29

Stop guessing, Try the best and most
certain remedy for all painful ailments
Hamlins Wizard Oil. The way it re-
lieves all soreness from sprains. cuts
wounds. burns. scalds. ETC.. is wonderful
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1910-12-29

Convenient, wholesome. really the best.
Mrs. Austins Famous Buckwheat
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1910-12-29

No matter about yesterdays short
comings; today is yours.-Annie II.
Ryder.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1910-12-29

You cannot love truth and fight
freedom In thinking.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1910-09-19
Fights in Other Districts.

In the three other districts there are
progressives who are making fights
that are attracting attention, although
the prospect of the defeat of the pres
ent members is smaller. In the fourth
Hugh T. Halbert of st. Paul is fighting
F. c. Stevens A. H. Sails is after F
M. Nye in the Fifth, and Alex Nc
Knight is opposing G. B. Miller in the
Eighth. H. O. Bjorge is contesting
Halvor Steenerson's seat, but the Tat
ter feels confident of reelection. In
the Second district two Republicans
are contrasting for the right to go
against Congressman w. s. Hammond,
as the latter is reasonably certain of
getting the Democratic nomination.
1t is generally predicted that there
will be more Democrats in the state
legislature this year than ever before.
The question of county option is adj
vanced in some districts, and there are
some interesting contests on.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1910-09-19
DIR. DONALD May
TRY FOR governor

Jackson, Miss. Sept. 19.-As a re
suit of the location of the State Nor
NAL College at Hattiesburg, it is prob
able that city will furnish a candidate
for Governor in the coming campaign
DR.. Donald is the man, and his friends
have been urging him for some time
to make the race against Messrs.
Brewer and Scott.
DR.. Donald has served as mayor OF
Hattiesburg several years, and de-
clined to make the race for another
term because of the prospect of his
becoming candidate for Governor
DR.. Donald has thus far declined to
enter the race, but as he is regarded
as the godfather of the State Normal,
it may be that he will listen to the
song of the political siren.
Not only was DR.. Donald the initia.
tor of the bill to create the State Nor
NAL, but did great deal of work for
the measure. After it was passed,
DR.. Donald came to Jackson and init
|ated the bill allowing the counties and
municipalities to issue bonds to bid
for the location of the college. When
the original bill to establish the col
lege was before the house and it look
ed as though it would be defeated, Dr.
Donald wired from Hattiesburg:
Give us the state normal without
an appropriation, and Hattiesburg will
build and maintain it for two years.
When this telegram was read to the
house the bill was amended and pass
ed.
DR.. Donald is not claiming this for
himself, but those who are familiar
with the history of the bill recalled
this when the college was awarded to
Hattiesburg. Such an institution had
been discussed several years by the
teachers, but no definite step had been
taken toward securing the necessary
legislation till DR.. Donald came here
last winter during the session and con-
ferred with several members of the
Senate and House.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1910-09-19
PROTRACTED MEETING AT MAIN
STREET METHODIST CHURCH

A series OF revival services was be-
gun at the Main Street Methodist
church yesterday morning. The con-
gregations were large, and the interest
encouraging. The meeting this morn
ing was fairly well attended, and was
a very profitable service.
The Rev. w. T. Griffin, of Gulfport,
will preach tonight, and the service
tomorrow will begin at $50 o'clock.
The singing will be under the direc-
ton of o. S. Lewis, and Mr.. R. R.
Swittenberg, and the organist, Miss Lo-
rene McInnis, will preside at the piano.
All singers are cordially invited to
aid in the singing.
The services will continue through
out the week, and probably throughout
the following week.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1910-09-19
minnesota NEXT
IN The LINELIGH7
Progressives Making Hard Fight on
the Old Guard-Tawney's Contest
is Leading Feature.

St. Paul, Mimi, Sept. 19.-Tuesday
primary elections will be held through
out the state, when congressional,
county and legislative committees will
be selected by the various parties.
Not in years has so much interest
been taken in the congressional cam
paigns, hard fights being made on such
men as James A. Tawney, in the First
district, and Fred G. Stevens in the
Fourth. With the exception of Con-
gresham G. R Davis in the Third and
A. J. Volsted in the Seventh, both of
whom have clear fields, every Minnesu-
ia member has hot fight on this year,
and the fight in each case is being
made by candidates on an avowed
progressive" platform.
The warmest fight and the one with
the most interest is in the First dis
trict, both on account of Mr.. Tawney's
prominence, and because Clifford Pin
chot, Francis J. Heney and even Theo-
dore Roosevelt have seen fit to take
hand in the fight against the incum-
bent. Sidney Anderson, young attor-
ney of Lanesboro, is the progressive
and he is admittedly giving
Mr.. Tawney the hardest fight of his
career.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1910-09-19
BIG STAKES AT LEXINGTON.

Lexington, KY, Sept 19.-FaH rae
ing in the West will have its premiere
on the famous Lexington track this
afternoon. Five big stakes, aggregat-
ing $4,000 in value, will be run dur
ing the nine-day meet. Horsemen all
over the country have responded to
the call of the blue grass country, and
practically every big stable represent
ed on the eastern tracks this season
has sent Lorses.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1910-09-19
ADDITIONAL WELL
WILL Be NECESSARY
To Furnish the City of jackson suffi-
cient Water For 1t Daily.
Needs.

jackson, Miss, Sept 19.-At least
one more artesian well will be neces-
sary to furnish the city of Jackson A.
100000 gallons of water daily, as
called for by the contract
with the Lanes-Bowles compa-
ny. Three wells have already
been put down, and, tested separately,
they show fraction less than 5000
gallons minute, each, or little ove1
$4,000 gallons a minute for the three.
Whether this rate can be maintain
ed with the three wells in operation at
the same time, is another matter
Though they are some distance apart,
it depends largely upon the texture of
the sand whether one well draws suf-
ficiently from the others to reduce the
supply to any appreciate extent.
But it is certain one more we'll will be
necessary, and this should give, at the
present rate of the other three wells,
close to 10000 gallons minute, which
would be about 1000 gallons a minute
in excess of the requirements of the
contract. 1t may be, when the wells
are tested as a whole, that fifth we'll
will be necessary but this is mere
speculation, as it is generally believed
that four wells will give the city the
requisite water supply.
The driller is pumping out the last
well to test the quality of the water,
and as soon as this is done, the drill
will be started on the fourth well.
This last well will be sent down a lit
tie deeper than the other three in ord
er to increase the water supply. The
third well is not in as good sand bed
as the first two, but the supply of wa
ter is good, and it will furnish about
as much as either of the other wells
1t will take about a week to COM
plete the test Of the last well, when
the driller will begin on the fourth,
and what he believes will be the last,
of the wells. This last well should
be completed in about five weeks, and
as soon as the driller gets through the
city will then begin to put in the new
water plant on the west side of the
city.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1910-09-19
IMPORTANT Meeting
court HOUSE TONIGH!

The Confederate Veterans and
Daughters of the Confederacy are very
DESTROYS that as many as can will at
tend the meeting to be held at the
court house tonight, when plans for
entertaining visitors to the Confeder-
ate reunion will be considered.
In view of the fact that large num-
Der of veterans are expected, it is nee
essary that preparations for their en-.
tertainment be made early, so that
there may be no confusion at the last
moment. Householders will be askeL
to entertain the veterans at their
homes and to assist in other ways in
providing for their comfort
The meeting tonight will be an i'm
portant one, and it is desired that a
large number of ladies and gentlemen
be present
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1910-09-19

Iots were taken from the hat D! MI,
Watkins and passed to Mr.. Wisner anu
then to Mr.. Tatum, and soon the IT,
sult was known to be six for Ha''le'
burg two for Laurel, and one for JACK
son. The representative of Hatucs'
burg thanked the trustees for theiI
decision, and the next moment MI
Wisner erasped the hand of the rep
reseptative of Hattiesburg and o1efe3
concentrations to him and the city Oh
Hattieeblrg.
Ali honor to him who in the very
moment Of defeat was able to offer
congratulations to the victor.
In behalf of Hattiesburg and heA
citizens. we extend to Mr.. Wisner am.
his associates a hearty welcome TO
our city at any time.
Respectfully,
w. S. F. TATUM.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1910-09-19
FINE MEETING AT
EATONVlLLE Church

The meeting in the Presbyterian
church at Eatonville is of much inter
est. Large audiences attended the
services yesterday and an unusual in.
terest was manifested. There will be
preaching during the week at II a.
m. and 1880 p. m.
The public is cordially invited to
attend. There were several parties
from town in attendance upon both
services yesterday.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1910-09-19
THE FIRST CONGRATULATIONS.

The trustees of the Mississippi Nor.
NAL College had cast their vote for
first choice on location; the result
was unknown. A committee of one
from each of the three cities compel.
ing for the location was selected, as
follows: w. H. Watkins, from Jack
son; F. G. Wisner, for Laurel; w. S
F. Tatum, for Hattiesburg. The bal
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1910-09-19
CHATTANOOGA EXPOSITION.

Chattanooga, Tenn, Sept. ia
great exposition of the arts and indus
tries of Tennessee and northern Geor-
gia was opened here today and will
extend through the week The dog,
poultry and pet stock show is among
the largest ever held in the Sotub.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1910-09-19
BIG SHOW IN SEATTLE.

Seattle, WASH, Sept. 19.-The West
ern Washington Fair opened it's gates
to the >public today and attracted
much interest. The exhibits of live
stock and industrial and agricultural
products are among the best ever
shown in the Pacific Northwest.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1910-09-19
RED LETTER HARNESS MEET

Columbus, O., Sept. 19.-Columbus
today inaugurated the red letter event
of the trotting season with the open
ing of two-week meet offering purses
with ottal of 100000. Nearly all
of the best trotters and PAGERS seen
on the Grand Circuit and Great Cir
cult this season are entered.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1910-09-19
4 PoRrRAlr.

= FOHTHAtT.
Dear, as you stood within the sunlight
there
You made picture such as one
/ might paint
Who lived IN Lippi's time-the mel
low faint
Gold background vying lustre with
your fair.
Clear tints OF cheek and brow; the
crimson rare
Of your curved lips. little rose,
whose plant
Was sweeter far than smile of
shrined saint
Whose stolen halo rested on your
hair.
These, nor the Turing magic of your
Icould not put on canvas for mems
To marvel at, and yet their counter
part,
Discreetly hidden, in my keeping
lies
For taking pity on my lonely days,
Love came and drew your image
on my heart
Charlotte Becker.
= . =
Miss Maynie OFerrall is visiting
relatives in Enterprise, Miss.
- a -
Miss Trina Kelly returned Saturday
from visit to relatives in Meridian.
Master Charley Lewis Wells of De-
catur, is visiting his aunt, Mrs. Neva
Wall.
F. D. Lander. ST., left Saturday FOR
Hot Springs, Ark, to spend his vaca-
II tion. ti1
Mrs. r. A. Magruder and daughter,
Miss Eva Magruder, returned Sunday
from visit to Bond, Miss
Mr.. and Mrs. Louis Holiday and |
family, of Third street, left Saturday
for Petal, to reside.
Mrs. Anna Mills and her title daugh-
ter, Grace, have returned from sew
eral weeks stay in Chicago.
:: : 4
Mrs. T. o. Watkins was called to
jackson, Tenn. Saturday. by the death
Of her cousin, Mrs. Smith.
Misses Hattie Byrd and Mary Ida
Byrd of Sontag, are spending few
days here with Mrs. t. o. Watkins.
Mr.. T. B. Shoemaker, of Silas, Ala
Is visiting his daughter, Mrs. A. S.
Bailey, on River avenue.
Miss Irma Kelly returned Saturday
from months visit to relatives in
Meridian.
Mrs ]. B. Logan and little son, ].
B. Dr., returned Saturday from a visit
to Meridian and other points.
DIR. j. B. Ross, OF Jackson, spent
Sunday with his brother-in-law and
sister Mr.. and Mrs. R. H. Bostwick,
IN Walnut street.
Harvey Turner returned Saturday
from visit to Lebanon, Tenn, where
ne was student last year at Castle :.
Heights.
= & ::
There will be a meeting of the
Daughters of the Confederacy on
Wednesday afternoon at $3.50 o'clock,
at Hotel Hattiesburg.
q 4. 4.
Mr.. and Mrs. Louis Glazier, who
have been located with Mrs. H. c. !.
Greer, left last week for Jackson, to
reside.
= q =
Mrs. J. r. Child and sons, Robert
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1910-09-19

Mrs. ]. M. Nettles, of Shubuta, Miss,
is expected this afternoon to attend the
funeral of her neice, Mrs. ]. C. McCaa,
from the residence of her sister, Mrs.
]. T. Arlington, on East Second street.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1910-09-19
BISHOP BRATTON
Continued from Page One.)

|
purpose.
can think of no other occasion
upon which l would consent to his
officiating in any way in the diocese.
| have not read the controversy from
which the statement is quoted, and
have nothing to say concerning it,
but of what concerns my own church
family, it is my duty to speak in
view of the reports which have come
to me in the past few days.
My own people will understand, |
am sure that frequent absences pre-
vents a regular acquaintance with
, the news of the press which will suf-
ficiently account for this DELAYED
statement.
THEODORE D. BRATTON.
Bishop of Mississippi.
The above statement is given out
by Bishop Bratton as result of a
controversy that has been much aireS~
recently regarding Rev. Hallams ,
standing in the Episcopal church.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1910-09-19
MICHIGAN STATE FAIR.

Detroit, Mich, Sept 1.-two $4,000
stakes, one for 2:17 trot and the
Nther for d 2:15 pace, will be decided
''ring the Michigan State Fair,
opened heye today.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1910-09-19
WEIGHTS TO FLY.

Dayton. O., Sept. 19.-Daily flights
by the Wright brothers, whose aero
plane factory and testing grounds are
located here, will be feature of the
Industrial and agricultural exposition
nd fall festival opened today. The
Governors of Ohio, Indiana, Kentucky
ind Illinois will be here on governors
day, and the mayors of two score
cities will be guests of honor on mu-
nicipal day
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1910-09-19

Joe Shelby left Saturday for Chicago
and st. Louis, where he will purchase
a fine assortment of new goods for his
store on Front street.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1910-09-19

M. l.. Thompson, Sr, left today for
st. Louis to purchase a lot of horses
and mules.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1910-09-19

Mrs. J. c. McCaa, aged "a years
died early today at the home of hel
sister, Mrs. ]. T. Arlington, after al
illness of about two weeks.
Deceased leaves one child, little
girl, five years of age, three brothers
DR.. R. P. McCaa, of Chronicle, Ala.
A. Arlington, of Sumrall; w. G. Ar
rington, of Ten Mile, and two sisters
Mesdames E. A. Windham and ]. T.
Arlington, of this city
Funeral services will be conducted
at the residence of Mrs. Arlington, on
East Second street, tomorrow morn.
ing at o'clock, Rev. J. N. McMillin
officiating. The remains will be in
TERED in the City cemetery.
Mcmillan & Williams big Embroid-
cry sale Monday. Come. Nuff sed.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1910-09-19

Hurry right down town now, and
see Mcmillan G Williams bargain
window of fine Embroideries, going at
19c Mondays sale.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1910-09-19

DR.. R. P. McCaa and wife of Citron-
ellie, Ala, will arrive on No. 8 this
afternoon, having been called by the
death of their sister, Mrs. ]. C. McCaa.