The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-01-16

have no doubt he thinks Betsy Ross created the American flag. whereas you and I both know twas Georgia Cohan.
 'Pu bet you that the town where he comes from hasn't got a single electric sign of stomach bitters or corset bind ings over forty foot high on Its Main street The keepers of the local res- taurants are probably ignorant enough to charge no more for a full portion than our fellows charge for . half bite He hasn't been taught that . troupe of trained performing side whisi1- CTS and white vest are sure signs of financial probity when featured In con- nection with the president of trust company. He's not been brought up to feel that true dramatic art is best summed up in a lady who keeps her stage clothes in e card index. butts got a whole troupe of Bohemian glass blowers and several of these expert Brazilian giaziers working overtime to keep her in s1rnptuoss jewels. Owing to his provincial raising he probably doesn't even understand that nothing, from um- brelas and cheeses up to wives. Is really desirable unless you have to pay more for 1t than you can afford Yes Eir, just as you say he's a poor de- luded alien from the United States who actually thinks he ought to get the worth of his money for his money. and doesn't realize that he's under a standing ob- lisnhon to slip something to everybody he meets, except possibly the mayor and the archbishop when he strikes the noble metropolis that is bounded by big sound on one side and steep biufr on the other with a broad yellow streak running down the middle. I certainly do pity Henry J. He deesn't belong among us here on the Isle of Palms and he exposes his ignorance at every turn.
 ''It strikes me, Larry, that New York has got a sort of hefty job on Its hands educating the benighted seventy-fve millions of the popuiace up to the proper stendards of living and department. But ON the whole I think we're com petent if they'll only give us time and opportunity. The sphere of influence has already been extended to many points along the eastern seaboard from Newport to Palm Beach and such large inland communities as Pittsburgh, Chi- cago, and Butte have shown signs of being converted.
 ''But speakink for ourselves alone, I think we're doing grand. There arc five millions of us more or less and at this writing we're all practically divided Into two c'asses-these who take tips and those who give 'en- If you don't belong to one crowd you must belong to the other. Everybody either has his hand out all the time or his hand in, ell the time. N's the great town for the gtve-and-tsise spirit, not to mention the touch and go again and 70 on, touching and going alternately. until the patient has taken the bankruptcy law and been pronounced cured
 'It doesn't necessarily have to be a cesh tip, although I've noticed that it's awfu11y hard to deeply wound anybody's feelings in our set by offering him rnere dross, just so. It's not only hard. it's impossible. But you give mental tips and take mental tips and other kinds of tips. If a lady whose husband is worth fifty millions smiles sweetiy on a lady whose struggling husband is beating the wolf back with a bundle that only con- tains three or four millions, that's c tip | and k gratefully received as such, be- | cause the smiles of ladies with fifty mil- Hons are generally blamed sight scarcer than their dollars.
 "As result of all this. we're rapidly learning our proper places and looking up to our bettsrs as we should. unless we happen to be the betters. in which event we look down on our interiors l There's mighty little Of this foolish ar- rogancs on the part of the local peas- antry that you sometimes find in the l fresh water country. The comrnoners
 know where they get oil hese because
 they spend most of thsir time doing 50.
 If yea don't believe 1t, sss soms of the daily papsrs. quote you from memory, Larry:
 i, "'As ono of the most fashionable | and exclusive congregations of the l year was leaving the church of tho 1 Leavened Yeast on Fifth avenue this morning after stirring sermon on brotheriy love. by the rector. the Rev. l Dr. Farrar c. 6alver, . person of the lower ciaases employed in some nsn- iai capacity by the department of street csAsing. was run over by Mrs. Richous Canbees ear. containing that pepuiaT Ssadse of societS, and hsv shfidrsn, the two bsanufni caabss
 twfns, 0aadys and Appius, The
 elumsy victim of the mishAp. which is generally regarded az deplorabIs,
 occurring when and (where 1t did. and on account ef tiss s3ock to the nsrves
 se ths Dssa1nsa4 ( persons pssssnk,