davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-07-22

ulous cities skinned to a frazzle thus
early in the game of Twentieth CEN
tury educational extension. What
she has said hundreds of men high
up in the art of bossing city schools
ought to have said years ago, before
Mrs. ELLA FLAGG YOUNG was out
of dolls and pinafores. The full
grown man in Rome 1000 years ago
who could not care for himself in
the water was held up to public con-
tumely and contempt as "a man
unfit for the honors and emoluments
of his countrymen." In 1910 the
boy or girl at school who does not
know how to swim, not for needless
sport but when bodily security de-
mands 1t, is to be made an object
of attention on the part of someone
qualified to teach the youngster the
ways of the water; and the teachers
in the public schools, employed to
train the brains of their pupils, are
the persons who should likewise he
obliged to instruct them as to the
necessity of being able to handle
themselves with confidence if sudden
ly thrown overheard in deep water.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-07-22

and proper, and the promise of hav-
ing 1t enacted would make splendid
platform for political party, assur-
ing the election of its candidates for
once by large majorities. Meantime,
let us hope these lines will be read
by those whom they concern.
The reasons for having cows guild
ed on their way to the pasture are
many, but only few can be mem
toned here. 1t may influence the
quality of the milk if the makers of
1t gorge themselves with hollyhocks.
goldenglow, nasturtiums, sweetwil-
liams and bachelors buttons i'm the
front yards along the road. II is
certainly bad for the flowers named.
The wearing of white shoes has.
ceased to be a fad, still, many would
wear them because they are cool and
comfortable If walking in a cowpath
were not so destructive to their
beauty. Several influential citizens
have also been noticed to wear white
trousers. Suppose one should slim
1t is best to stop this line of reason
ing right now. OF course, having
the cows driven would not do away
with all the dangers alluded to. but
1t would make their presence less
lingering. 1t may be mentioned
also, that children are often afraid
of cows.
CTTnGrDTnr-r,
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-07-22
BATHING IN THE DYBERRY.

The nude bathing in the Dyberry
ought to be stopped. Scores OF boys
and young men too, for that mat
ter-go into the water tightless and
trunkless. Too many young girls
and young women make a regular
practice on hot days of strolling out
that way to see the young fellows
disporting themselves, skintight' on
the banks and in the water.
There is no decency, let alone de-
corum or dignity, in the boy or man
who will indulge his love for July
or August swim in that disgusting
manner. There is no grain of
womanly sentiment in the petticoat
pilgrims who will linger within close
eyeshot of such unciyilized revelries
for half an hour or even full hour
by the clock. Yet the conditions
complained about have all summer
been a common occurrence.
Respectable people no longer like
to go up the Dyberry of a hot af-
ternoon in summer. Can you blame
them? The beautiful walks and
groves on the west side of the stream
ought not to be closed to decent
folks on account of the graceless per-
formances of lot of louts who think
their manly forms are an addition
TO the already satisfactory landscape,
not to mention the supplementary
antics of certain women who doubt
less wish to be considered ladies.
But actual ladies will not sanction
such lasciyious performances any
more than bona fide gentlemen will
go into the water without the for
mality of 10 cents worth of cotton
cloth to cover their nakedness.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-07-22
Stomach Misery
Over Six Years

Read what Mr.. Hoffman, landlord
of the Webster Hotel, writes:
Il suffered misery and intense
pains from stomach trouble for over
six years, and all the doctoring that
| did or medicines | used were OF no
avail until about two years ago,
when / used a treatment Of Mi-o-na.
The first few days treatment helped
me greatly and upon using it while
was made entirely free from any
stomach trouble or complaint what
ever. Since the cure by Mi-o-na l
have regained my weight, l eat and
sleep well, am never nervous, and
my entire genral hath is much bet
ter."-Max NJ. Hoffman, Webster,
n. Y, Aug. 2, 1909.
Mi-o-na stomach tablets relieve
distress in five minutes. They act
like magic. They are guaranteed
to cure sour stomach, gas eructa-
tions, heartburn, dizziness, bilious
ness and nervousness, or money
back. For sale by druggists every
where and by G. w. Peil for so
cents a large box.
Try Booths Pills for constipation;
they never disappoint, zoe.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-07-22

The Duke will not be the BRIDE
groom when the daughter of Sena-
tor STEVE ELKINS and grand
daughter of HENRY GASSowAY
DAVIS is married at her fathers
stone mansion in the West Virginia
mountains, but he will be guest.
Now we believe those wildcat stories
about little ABRUZZI shining up the
Himalaya mountains in India and
starting out in an Italian ship to
find COOKS and PEARY'S pole.
He's got nerve enough to go any
where!
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-07-22
Light on Subject CheerfulIy Ac-
ceDted.

cepteu.
The Honesdale Citizen, usually
alert, is not well informed as to
Johnstown affairs, as witness the fol-
lowing:
Williamsport, tired of mayor and
councilmen and city committees and
all the like of that, is seriously
thinking of trying out the commits
sion form of government that Calves
ton and Des Moines have found in
some ways desirable. Now will
Warren Worth Bailey of the Joy
ful Johnstown" Democrat be frank
for once in his references to a rival
city and admit there's some civic
class to Billtown?
Yes; it must be admitted that
there is some class to the Williams
port Board of Trade, which favors
the Des Moines and not the Galveston
form of commission government.
But the Honesdale Citizen must bear
in mind that Johnstown is the first
city in the state of Pennsylvania to
propose government by commission.
In this respect it leads Williams
port, but for all that we trust that
Johnstown is quite willing to accept
the suggestion of Williamsport that
a general meeting be held in that
city soon to discuss the advisability
of seeking legislation on the subject.
j Johnstown Democrat.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-07-22
Barnum Knew His Business!

In print the other day an old-time
friend of Phineas T. Barnum ex-
pressed a doubt as to whether the
great Snowman ever said that "the
American people love to be hum
bugged." Barnum himself did not
deny the phrase, says the New York
World. Nothing in this declaration
is inconsistent with career which
opened in 1885 with the exhibition
of "one of the greatest natural curl
osities ever witnessed, viz, Joice
Heath, a negress, 161 years old, who
formerly belonged to the father of
General Washington"
Certainly Barnum knew his crowd
and knew the value of advertising.
Born at Bethel, Conn, a hundred
years ago, he was not less
plucky than shrewd. Losing for
tunes in succession by failure and
fire, he never lacked courage for a
fresh start. And he settled with his
creditors.
This generation may laugh at the
old stories of the Barnum woolly
horse, the Japanese mermaid and the
white elephant. 1t must remember,
however, that the same promoter
who brought out these freaks gave
America also its chance to hear
Jenny Lind. Tom Thumb, too, was
a Barnum find, with profit to the
finder. Such humbuggery as was his
Barnum exploited frankly and to the
whole world. 1t is significant that
nineteen years after his death his
name still is one to conjure with in
the field of the tented show-Edi-
torial in Altoona Mirror.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-07-22
THAT BOARD OE TRADE.

The Honesdale business men are
taking to the Greater Honesdale
Board of Trade. They realize that
strong, progressive, practical
boosting organization has been
needed in the capital of Wayne
county. Any body that will ade-
quately advertise the towns advan-
tages and exert time and intelligent
effort in the task of bringing new
industries to Honesdale they are
bound to support generously.
The public meeting on July 29,
when the aims and projects of the
Board are to receive more detailed
explanation than they have thus far
been able to secure through the en-
ployment of newspaper space, merits
and beyond question will receive a
sizeable attendance of citizens inter-
ested in the business advancement of
Honesdale. Every man who wants
this town and its contributary terri
tory to grow should make no other
date for that night. He should go
to the meeting in town hall to hear
the subject discussed and, if he sees
fit, present his own ideas and sug-
gestions for consideration.
In organization there is strength;
and the Greater Honesdale Board of
Trade will increase the business and
commercial activity of Honesdale
and the towns immediate vicinity
Just so far as the business men ELI
gible to join it unite to produce a
strong organization, There can be
no doubt at all about that.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-07-22
LETTERS FROM THE PEOPLE.
About Birds and Cats.
Editor of The Citizen:

Editor of The Citizen:
Honesdale's feathered songsters
are being preyed upon by numerous
stray cats, which, being deprived of
sustenance from the friendly family
larder, are preserving their nine
lives by feeding upon robins and
other birds that come in their way
Unless our citizens wish to adopt
these starved, homeless wanderers,
we would suggest that the Ladies' I'm
provement association or the Society
for the Prevention of Cruelty to AMI
mails might take the matter in hand
and end their existence, the former
to protect the birds that nest and
sing in our trees, the latter out of
kindness to these members of the
feline tribe.
HUMANITY
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-07-22
HUMANITY
Let's Have Board of Trade.

Editor of The Citizen:
The town of Hallstead having
been dealt severe blow by the re-
moval of the Lackawanna trainmen
to the Hampton yards, the Board of
Trade of that place recently held an
enthusiastic meeting, the end in view
being to boom Hallstead. A big
meeting has been planned for the
near future, at which several promi-
nent men, including some Lacka-
wanna officials, members of the
Scranton Board of Trade and others,
are expected to be present. A Board
of Trade is all right. Let us see
what one can do for Honesdale.
PROGRESS.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-07-22
TEACH CHILDREN TO SWIM.

Every boy and girl ought to know
how to SWIM" said Ms. ELLA
FLAGG YOUNG, superintendent OF
public schools, Chicago, and every
boy and girl attending the public
schools will soon be compelled to
learn to swim, just as he or she is
taught to read and write in the reg
ular grammar course.
Every teacher ought to know how
to swim, and the first step in accom-
plishing this fact will be the intro
duction into our teachers training
course at the Normal school of a
course in swimming. Instructions
In the proper way to swim can be
given in the classroom, but actual
practice will have quicker results
and will remove whatever terror II
NAV have for the more timid ones.
There were men-yes, and women
Interested in the laudable JOB OF
teaching the young American idea
how to shoot who thought, back
along, that the Chicago school
board were in blunder when they
made a woman the practical working
head of the Windy City's school
system. The board were ridiculed
and the petticoat superintendent the
board had appointed was criticized
illuminated and cartooned. Mrs.
YOUNGS appointment was viewed,
in Chicago and outside of it, as job
on a par with the same board S
sponsorship of DR.. KLOPSDORF, the
author of the notorious Venus act
under which all women who were
not "up to the average size and well
developed" were to be cast out OF the
Chicago schools as physically If not
mentally unfit to drum mathematics
and grammar into the craniums OF
Chicagos conspicuously cosmopoli-
tan schoolroom population.
Mrs. YOUNG has redeemed the
reputation of the Chicago school
board for safety and sanity-two
qualifications for the selection OF
teachers that all such bodies should
possess in carload quantities. She
has gone further than DR.. MAX
WELL, the $4,000 superintendent
New York employs, ever thought
of going. In Chicago, one of the
greatest waterfront cities of the
world, she has declared that boys
and girls who cannot handle them
selves in the water with skill and
safety are not boys and girls sufii-
ciently educated, that teachers not
competent to instruct their classes
in this essential branch of aquatics
are not fit to hold certificates as
teachers.
The criticism and even ridicule OF
Chicago's woman school superin-
tendent had better read the hand.
writing on the wall and get under
cover. Mrs. ELLA FLAGG YOUNG
has the high-salaried men superin.
tendents of some other rich and pop
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-07-22

When the editor of the lndepend-
ent says "postmasters of the large
towns and cities are supposed to
carry the voters therein in their pock-
cts and deliver them over to the con-
gressmen seeking a reelection" and
then goes on to observe this doubt
less accounts for the recent increase
in high class postmasters' salaries;
it is one method of congressional
electioneering and the people thus
help to foot the congressman cam
paign expense bill" it is quite OBJ
yious that the large man in the linen
suit is belching forth either igno-
rance of the postoffice department
or malicious wind. The receipts OF
a postofIice determine the salary OF
the postmaster. When the receipts
of the Office go up the pay of the
head of the office, very properly and
naturally, goes up When the re-
ceipts tumble, the pay of the head
OF the Office goes down. Uncle sam
knows how to grade the wages OF
the men that look after the govern
ment mail matter, even though local
penpushers hate like sin to give him
credit for that much sound business
nracpdurp
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-07-22
COUNTY.
Representative,
II. c. JACKSON.

If big bass were half as numerous
as stories about them, the state fish
hatcheries could be Abandoned
Harrisburg Telegraph.
Is this a particular personal shot
at a bold bass fisherman from South
Main street who makes it a point
never to annex to his hook any bass
from Williams pond that will tip the
beam at less than seven pounds,
avoirdupois, not drugstore weight?
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-07-22
A SUBSCRIBER
Three Wayne-Scranton Farmers Who
Are Doing Well

Are Doing Well.
Three of the most prosperous far
mers of Wayne county are prominent
residents of Scranton, says writer
in the Scranton Times. Messrs. John
Simpson and John C1eland are har-
vesting dollars out of their broad
acres by intensive cultivation of the
soil and conducting the Globe Ware
house for diversion and recreation.
Mr.. John NJ. Burke is raising huge
crops according to the most approv-
ed methods of agricultural science,
marketing them and buying govern
ment bonds with the proceeds. while
for relaxation he builds railroads
and drives tunnels.
The three distinguished farmers
met the other day and, as usual,
started a discussion as to the pros
pect of their crops. Mr.. Burke was
first to speak out enthusiastically
as to his magnificent crop of corn.
1t was six feet two inches high and
still growing.
That's nothing" said Mr.. Gle
land my rye stands six feet three
and it hasn't reached it's full growth
yet"
Il can beat you BOTH" said Mr..
Simpson. THE rye in my fields
stands seven feet three inches and
you can see it grow day by day"
AS convincing proof of the truth
of his statement, Mr.. Simpson pro-
duced stalk of the rye that meas
ured seven feet three and looked
like young sapling. The superior
look that Mr.. Simpson has worn
within the past few days may be
attributed to his proved pre-eminence
as an agriculturist.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-07-22
State of Ohio, City of Toledo,

state OF Onloj CITY OF Ioledo,
Lucas County, S.:
Frank ]. Cheney makes oath that
he is senior partner OF the firm of
f. l.. Cheney & Co., doing business
In the City of Toledo, County and
State aforesaid, and that said firr'
will pay the sum of ONE HUNDRED
DOLLARS for each and every case o
Catarrh that cannot be cured by the
use of Halls Catarrh Cure.
FRANK ]. CHENEY.
Sworn to before me and subscrib-
ed in my presence, this 9Th day OF
December, A. d. 1886.
(Seal) A. w. GLEASON.
Notary Public,
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken in
ternally, and acts directly on the
blood and mucous surfaces of the
system. Send for testimonials free.
F. ]. CHENEY & CO.,
Toledo. o.
Sold by all Druggists, Use.
Take Halls Family Pills for con-
stipation.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-07-22
Don't Let Cows Roam Alone.

Editor of The Citizen:
May it please you to accord space
to the suggestion that cows should
not be allowed to wander in the
streets of Honesdale or the roads of
Texas unattended? The plea for a
guardianship of their property would
be made to the owners of the cows
direct if we had a law in force pro-
viding that these domestic animals
must have plainly visible numbered
tags affixed to them, similar to the
ones carried by automobiles and
dogs, the registered numbers making
the Identification of the owners pos
sible. Such law would be just
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-07-22

NEWSPAPER HUMOR.


How would you like to be Amer
icas poet laureate?" Il couldn't
afford the honor. l am already poet
laureate of a prosperous bean pack
cry. Citizen.
My goods speak for themselves. -
What are you selling?" Graphic
phones. Louisville Courier-Jour-
nal.
Howard Bridget, did my wife
come in a few minutes ago?" Brid-
get-"No, sir. That's the parrot
you hear a-hollerin'.''- Harper S
Bazaar.
Father" queried Bob, just home
from college, you've worked for me
pretty hard nearly all my life,
haven't your"
quite right, quite right, son, -
mused father retrospectively.
Just so," resumed Bob briskly.
Now you had better get busy and
work for yourself a bit-eh, dad?"
Life.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-07-22

Four possible canuluates for gov
ernor of New York answer to the
name of William. Where there's
a Will there's way.-Scranton
Tribune-Republican
But whoever the Republican con-
yention nominates for the $4,000
and-a-house job in Albany WILL be
elected, whether the Democrats are
willing or not. Just bet a dollar
against a doughnut on that! ~
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-07-22

1T seems cruel to slaughter all
those pigs for market" said the Chi
cago girl. II don't know that it's
cruel" replied Miss Cayenne. But
when you think of what the packers
charge for the meat, 1t does seem a
little unfraternal."- Washington
Star.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-07-22

The camp was all right and | have
the finest company in the Thirteenth.
feel positive of that. To be sure,
had to work pretty hard the whole
nine days, but that is something no
good soldier should kick about. You
see, | had all the clerical work to do.
There is no company clerk in E ex-
cept part of the time, and that
mant a good bit to do. Not all
captains pitch in and keep their own
records. Then, on top of all that,
all the officers were tramped three
miles every day after manoeuvres
and that got all hands tired enough
to sleep soundly, The trip home
took about a dozen hours and along
toward the end of it the ride must
have been tedious to the men, for
they travel in the regular coaches
while the officers have a Pullman
Capt. c. j. Kelley, Co. E.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-07-22
The keystone Press


Was the affair at Reno what
Tennyson had in mind when he
wrote of "the last great battle in the
West ?"-York Gazette.
The good old summer time is a
good old humbug so far as comfort
is concerned.-Uniont Herald.
In Uniontown, yes; but not in Joyful
Johnstown, the brightest star in the
galaxy of Pennsylvania cities-the
summer resort of pure delight
Johnstown Democrat.
1T is always well to have your
photograph taken before becoming a
hero" says Philosopher E. Tracy
Sweet in the Scranton Tribune-Re-
publican. That's tantamount to say
ing that the fellow who is going to
get married should first visit the
photographer Allentown Demo-
crat.
Teddy, the Terrible, is for the
present tariff. Teddy, the Terrible,
is against the present tariff. Teddy,
the Terrible, is for the regulars"
Teddy, the Terrible, is against the
regulars" and is favorable to the
insurgents. Teddy, the Terrible, is
out of politics. Teddy, the Terrible,
is in politics up to his neck. You
pays your money and takes your
choice. e.-Johnstown Democrat
The curfew bell has been put into
service at Trenton and found very eff
fective Each night at 8 o'clock the
bell tolls the curfew from the bel
fry of st. Stanislaus' Catholic church
and the children of the parish cease
their play and run home to their
parents. The mothers of the neigh
borhood are delighted with what
Father Block, the pastor, has done
for them, and many mothers besides
those of the membership of st. Stan
islaus' parish have availed them
selves of the call. From observa-
ton it would be well if the curfew
would toll in other sections than in
st. Stanislaus' parish. The number
of children on the streets late at
night indicates that some action
should be taken in many Bucks
county towns.-Doylestow Intelli-
Mayor Gaynor of New York, an
swering a communication from New
York clergymen urging him to pro-
hibit the exhibition of prizefight pic
lures, called their attention to the
fact that, while he sympathized with
the general protest against the pro-
posed exhibition, he was compelled
to take the law as it is, which did
not warrant him in taking the ac-
ton they requested. THE growing
use of arbitrary power in this coun-
try by those put in Office adds
Mayor Gaynor, would be far more
dangerous, and is far more to be
dreaded, than certain other vices
that we all wish to minimize or be
rid of. People little know what they
are doing when they try to encour-
age officials to resort to arbitrary
power" The idea that personal gov
ernment should be substituted for
government of laws has attained al
together too great a vogue in this
country in recent years. Mayor Gay
nors letter may call public atten-
ton to the peril involved in what
is seemingly a popular course, and
in doing so will have served a great
popular service. New
Era.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-07-22

The fool that rocks the boat is on
the job, blank blank him; but wait
for the fool that rocks the aero
plane. He's coming!
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-07-22

see by the paper that Sam
Brown says he beat John Weaver
and | fishing up in Susquehanna the
other day. I'm glad to know about
it. | did not fish, and l do not
remember that either Sam or John
did any fishing on that trip the
three of us took to Towanda.
Kuhbach.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-07-22

Don't laugh at Oklahoma for hav-
ing two capitals. Look away from
Oklahoma to the nation. Consider
Beverly and Oyster Bay!
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-07-22
GINGERSNAPS.

This lovely country county in the
hills will get her share of the city
cynic's coin before this summer
Waynes.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-07-22

am great lover of the game of
dominoes and at a recent sitting
with one of my old friends who's
a crank on the pastime | won nine
games out of a possible eight. Let's
see if they get that in the paper!-
Millard +. Dorm.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-07-22
: RIGHT OFF THE BAT.

That sign 1 put up 1--WE have fouI
banks in Honesdale; I'm not bank
is helping me good deal, l find
and I'm glad l thought to put it up
Charles j. Weaver.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-07-22

1T is always well to have your
photograph taken before becoming a
hero" says Philosopher e. Tracy
publican. That's tantamount to say
ing that the fellow who is going to
get married should first visit the
photographer Allentown Demo-
crat.