Polk County observer. (Monmouth, Polk County, Or.) 1888-1927, 1910-11-02
GANDERBONE FORECAST
FOR NOVEMBER.
Copyright 1910 by c. H. RIETz.
NOVEMBER.

L I
Whereas, Providence continues
Blessing us from day to day,
And the boon of independence
Has, we take it, come to stay;
And whereas, Indulgent Nature
Lavishes upon us still
Bounty in excess of what the
weather and the bugs can kill;
And whereas, The old republic
Couldn't be improved upon,
Notwithstanding everybody
Gets to run it off and on;
Therefore, !, as delegated
Now and for short time hence
President, decree that turkey
Shall go up to 20 cents.
That's about all there is to it. Once
the country raised it's own, and the
White House proclamation was not
greeted with groan, Father simply
grabbed the hatchet, mother got the
water hot, father read the proclama-
tion to the turkeys in the lot, all the
young and female turkeys promptly
tainted from the shock, and after due
farewells the gobbler laid his head
upon the block.
No one telephoned the butcher, ask
ing what turkey cost, No one in his
deep resentment wished the Pilgrims
had been lost No one, while the feast
proceeded, knew the torment of the
rack figuring upon his napkin what
the day had set him back.
Everybody was provided, as the
founders pre-supposed. No one can be
very thankful, IL the truth should be
disclosed, paying what we pay for tur-
key. and, for all Of Heavens gifts,
feeling that the day was founded for
the Armours and the Swifts.
November gets its name from the
Latin novem (nine), and was origi-
nally the ninth month of the year.
This brought Thanksgiving around
two months earlier than we have it
now, and 1t became very unpopular.
The insurgents, who constituted ma
jority in the agricultural districts,
were bitterly opposed to 1t. They made
two contentious: First, that young
turkeys were not old enough to mar
ket; second, that crops had not pro-
gressed to the point where it was pos
sible to make out whether there was
anything to be thankful for or not. In
713 b. G. the storm broke. The insur-
gents carried Gaul, Britannia and IL
other doubtful states, and the Forum
Immediately assembled and made No-
vember the eleventh month Of the
year.
AT any rate, the snow will fly, and
the wild duck spin across the sky
with both eyes focused on the ground,
and his tail-piece going round and
round. The eager hunter will deploy
and supplement the live decoy, and
the pneumococcus, while he toots,
will perforate his rubber boots.
A little shooting now and then Is
relished by lot Of men. They like tc
gallivant about and let the farmers
run them out 1t does them good to
feel. by jing, that Morgan don't own
everything, and IL he came in coDse
quence. and also tried to climb the
fence, together with his dog and gun,
he, too, would also get the run.
November will be unusual this year
for the reason that there will be no
| full moon. This is because there will
be a total eclipse of the moon on the
night of the 16th when 1t would other
wise be full. This eclipse will be vis-
ible in the United States and in Wall
street, and It will send bacon down a
couple of points.
The breath of Winter will distll up
on the outer windowsill. and the chill
ing calf will hump his back and bur-
row deeper in the stack. The hired
man, with wIntry spurts, will put on
both his undershirts, and the pluto
crat who sells us Goals will pry our
bodies from our souls.
Then let us all embrace the chance
and be as merry as we may, for
whether we desist or dance. the fiddler
is for all to pay. The gentle autumn
time Will pass. the countryman will
kill his hogs, the cotton-tail will
weave the grass around the obfuscat-
ed dogs. the honking goose will ride
the heights with that weird holierine
OF his, and the wolf will sit around
o. nights and tell the moon how thir
} he is.
l. o woe is us that could enjoy the au'
tumntime for aye and aye. and whai
with growing soul employ its witcherS
from day to day. The phosphorescenc'
in the sky. the quail soft-plping on tho
hill, the blackbirds ever bobbing by
and the wind soft-sighing where 4
will.
But happiness can never last, a.
! Antony could apprehend, and holdinl
Cleo TO him fast destroyed himself
J before the end. The summer cometl
after spring. and winter, mercilesa
withaI. as truly must succeed th'
sweet and gentle Establishments Of fall
t At any rate. upon a day