Bisbee daily review., 1910-09-01
COACHED AT A COURTINC By HARRY VAN AMBERG Copyright. isio. by American Press
 Association.

was lounging beside me m Wcsef chair. She Is a good friend of mine. Mrs. Poland. although her husband and l were chuns before they were married. She has never been at all jealous of ine-sometbing unusual ip such cases. She invites me to her cot tage every summer and is good enough to say that she would not consider s party complete without me.
 I tell her I'm never complete with out party.
 Mrs. Poland has s hobby. It Is matchmaking. She tried to match me several times and always failed. The reason. she said. was that l did not understand women.
 "I have a girl for you" she said.
 "I thought you had given me up"
 "I have so far as your management is concerned. This time wish you to leave your part of the affair to me"
 "Now you're getting down 10 some thing practical Who is the ladyf"
 "She comes tomorrow-Miss AnDabel Vail She is pretty. intelligent. stylish and has some means of her own. though not much"
 "very we'll So long as you keep me instructed I'll do anything you like. But be it understood that I'm to have no headwork to do on my own account. You understandT
 Perfectly"
 Miss Vail arrived as expected. She was all Mrs. Poland had claimed for her. On the afternoon of her arrival Mrs. Poland informed me that she ex- pected me to drive with her guest The carriage would be at the door at o'clock. l told her I would be charmed to drive with Miss Vail if she thought the young lady could endure me without other company. We drove two hours and returned in time to dress for dinner. During the evening Mrs. Poland asked me how I liked Miss Vail. and I told her had been much pleased.
 .T doubt it.'' she said. "A man who is much pleased with a woman can find plenty to say to her. Miss Vail has told me that you didn't say anything but Yes and 'No.'"
 T was always a good listener"
 A sailing party was arranged for a days outing on the water in Poland's yacht Mrs. Poland instructed me be- fore starting to devote myself almost exclusively to Miss Vail. My motto was ''obey orders if you break own CTS" Miss Vail was very seasick. and I escorted her to the side of the vessel and held her head. She motioned me away, but I chung to the job. Then, when she sank pack into a reclining chair, considering that she was ill concluded that I must do all the talk ing myself. talked till she told me if I would only go away and let her alone she would feel much relieved.
 Mrs. Poland that evening told me very impatientiy that I didn't know how to make myself agreeable to a girl, but it was impossible for any one to teach me
 Haven't done all you have told me to do?'' asked, very much crestfalien.
 ''Go >dness gracious. do you expect your coach to follow you about to tell you when to talk and when to keep si- lent? Must you be worked like the figures in a Punch and Judy showT
 From what you say Miss Vail has not been especially impressed with me."
 T wouldn't say so. except that 1t is all up with your suit. but she says you're the most aggrayating man she ever met
 Cant we wipe of the slate and be- gin all overT'
 You'd be the same"- 'Idiot?'
 Mrs. Poland was silent. She was scolding me as she would scold one of her own children whom she dearly loved. There was nothing more to be said by either of us, so we dropped the subject
 Bridge was the game for the even ing, and in order to show Mrs. Poland that was willing to do all in my pow CT to meet her wishes I invited Miss Vail to be my partner. She was very stupid at cards. and when she trump ed my tricks, although I said nothing I could not help looking grave. This she interpreted as condemnation and after finishing a rubber arose and left the table. Mrs. Poland was watching us and as soon as we were alone said to me:
 What did you scold her forT'
 "Scold her. didn't say a word" 'But you looked it." was discouraged. I made. no reply. "Youu never win that girl in the world You needn't try any more to please me. give it up."
 The next day Mrs. Poland was very cross with me. I asked her if had offended further. She said that I had not, but Miss Vail was so offend ed with me that she was intending to cut short her visit. That's too bad" replied. 'rNot for the world would I consent to remain your guest after having driven a guest of yours from your house. I beg of you tell Miss Vail that 1t is who am going. Let her remain"
 "oh, tell her yourself. I'm tired of the business"
 invited Miss Vail to go down on the beach with me. We remained there all the morning. When wo returned Mrs. Poland asked: (Which is to gow .Neither," I replied. "we're en-