The Washington bee., 1910-11-26

hauH iosI heF JoD' ia had a homs
right nOw."-New Orleans Picayune.
Hewitt-Lend me a dollar. old man.
Jewett-I never lend money.
Hewitt-Give NE a dollar. then
New York BAess
Farmer-What are you doing in nv
apple tree?
Ihief-Excuse me. / just fell of q
Acknowledgements Blatter.
"Have you ever seen the prisoner at
the bar?"
Yes, judge, and be can drink ike
fish" ."-Harper's Weekly.
THAT man has done some mighty
good things"
"Yes; I was one Of them."-Louis.
vile Courier-JournaL
Teacher-Spring flowers bring forth
what. TOmmie?
Tommie - Umbrellas. maam!-Y Yon.
kers Statesman.
woman can thrill as deeply. over
her preparations for housecleaning as
man getting ready to go fishing
New York Press.
Judge-Ts that your real name?
Prisoner (who has been up before)-
No. yer honor it's my ''pen" name
Harvard LampOon.
Missionary-May I ask what course
you intend to take with me?
Cannibal King-The regular ona.
You'll follow the fish.
Witness-I saw a man with one eve
named wilkins.
Lawyer-What was the name OF the
other eye?
Russian battle songs are written In
minor keys. and instead of being bril-
liantly martial are sad. telling Of the
soldiers fate.
The population Of the earth at the
time Of Emperor Augustus was esti-
mated at 54.000,000. 1t is now esti-
mated to be about 1.5S5, 100000.
The horsepower of an engine can be
found by the following rule: Square
the diameter Of the cylinder and divide
by two.
Grasshoppers have neither lungs nor
gilis, but air enters breathing pores
and is conveyed by tubes to all parts
of the body.
"Are you in pain, my little manY'
asked the kind old gentleman.
mo. sir" answered the boy ''the
pains in me-"
Sadie-Say. honest now, do you like
Maggie? Pauline-Wel, she's got a
good heart. an she means real well,
but Sadie-Neither do I.-Exchange.
Waiter-Be careful Of the SOUP. gen
tlemen. 1t is so hot that it has scaId-
ed both my s.-Meggendorfer
Batter
Moonshine has been found to have a
marked effect on stammering. People
so afflicted stammeT most at the full of
the moOn.-LOndOn Scraps.
Cool as a cucumber" is correct sci
entifcally, for that vegetable usually
has a temperature a degree less than
the surrounding atmosphere.
There are at least 214 groups of
signs used in Chinese, each group COD
tanning from to 1854 separate char
acterS
By a remarkable law of royal Ell
Quette which has existed for a number
of years at the court Of Siam no per-
son is permitted 10 sleep in an apart
ment situated above that occupied by
the king. A deliberate breach Of this
rule has on more than one occasion
been punished by death
While auntie arranged the pantry
shelves her little niece handled the
spice boxes and called each spice by
name. Presently she said, "Auntie,
can read" Can you, dear?" answered
auntie. Yes, auntie." came the reply,
but l don't read like you do. read
by the smell."-Delineator.
The great editor carefully read the
aspiring contributors joke, then, look
ing up from the copy, inquired:
Where's the otIerE'
"Other? Why, there isn't any other"
'Um! l thought that Noah took two
Of every kind into the ark."-New York
Times.
4 Sunday school teacher told his pu-
pills at the end of his lesson that he
would give them a summary. A little
boy asked:
What is a summary, pleaseY
"a summary is an abbreviated synop-
sis o. anything" was the lucid answer
Exc hange
From the oldest known coin, bearing
inscription 1900 B. C., to the latest
products Of the mint the dates, en-
blems and inscriptions form cOntinu-
Gus history. corr0bOrating and correct
ing written history. and give Us the
Only Iikenesses we have of some Of the
great men Of ancient times.
There is a man in London who Is a
bit aOsentminded but bis pOliteness
never fails him. He went to church
last Sunday, and when the minister
said Let US pray" he responded IN
tones audible throughout the building, |