The Washington herald., 1910-03-04

The most talked of Incident around the
House on the Hill" is the JEFF Davis
episode
Like past performances. stories are told
of the event. 1T reminds me-" said
member Of the-House. "of an amusing
incident that happened in chicago-amus-
ing. though death figured in the story.
"A man had died in Memphis, and
after much inquiry and investigation it
was determined that the dead man was
brother of two prominent men in
Chicago.
1.-THE body was properly prepared, put
L in an expensive easket, and shipped TO
Chicago, the undertaken going with the
body. The supposed brothers received
the corpse. and after a careful sxamina-
ton, as they thought, had decided that
! il was the dead body Of their lost
brother
The undertaken was about TO close
the casket when one of the brothers
asked to see the corpse once more. Again
he examined it, but this time reached the
conclusion that they we're mistaken. 1t
was not their brother. because he had a
beautiful set of teeth, and the teeth OF
the corpse were ugly and irregular. They
refused to take charge of the dead one
The undertaken was nonplussed. He had
gone to considerable expense to get the
body 10 Chicago. and now It was thrown
on his hands.
He argued, but to no purpose, and the
Chicagoans retired, leaving the under
taker alone with the corpse When the
gentlemen had disappeared. he went up
TO the body, shook Il roughly. and SAID:
Now, II you had kept your blamed
mouth shut, you would have had de-
cent funeral
In line with the advice OF Senator Bal
ley, Senator Bradley Is thinking about
taking lessons in multiplication.
In the course OF the Texans remarks
on an amendment to the postal savings
bill, he had occasion 70 multiply 5000
by 900. He at once stated the result.
45 100000 Senator Bradley, pencil and
pad In hand said: That is incorrect
its only 100000" Senator Bailey re-
terated that his answer was correct but
the big man from the Blue Grass State
kept on figuring and at the time the SEN
ate took a recess he was not quite sure
but that he had multiplied according &c
rules laid down IN Kentucky.
Representative Moore, known by his
constituents as "Hampie." has devoted
considerable time 10 an investigation OF
the cost Of living. particularly as II ap-
, plies TO the cold storage business
! "Hampier is still enthusiastic; 50 much
, so. that he holds a meeting by himself
once anG awhile, the other members Of
, the committee having other duties requir-
, ing their attention.
And there is a reason for ''Hampie's'
/, interest in the cost of food prices. Som'
time ago all the dining-cars on the Penn
sylvania Railroad served their meals
table dhote. and "Hampie" had the habit
Of taking a meal in the car when COINS
10 Philadelphia, his home. He knew thai
nc matter whether he had only a cup OF
, coffee, or had everything on the bill o
fare. the price was the same. 81
He got on the train one day and, while
/ he was not quite famished he decides
to ask for a substantial meal, as long a.
> he had 70 give up the one samoleon. H
called for soup. fish. meats, rellshes, anC
all the delicacies Of the season,
When he had finished eating. he dul
down for the one spot. The waiter pre-
scented the check, and when 'Hampie'
saw the amount, he threw up his hands
He had eaten over s14 worth OF victuals
:. OF course, he kicked. and kicked hard
|, saying that he had never paid more thai
!, 81 for a meal on the diner.
You did that some time ago" sal
the waiter. but now the meals are L
carte, and If you will consult the bill 0
fare, you viii see that you have disposer
of S1425 worth OF food" ''Hampie" look
: ed. saw the waiter was right. paid hi
: bill. and left the diner. a sadder. bu
wiser and. incidentally. poorer man.