The Colville examiner. [volume] (Colville, Wash.) 1907-1948, 1910-05-28


under discussion.
The interior mechanism must have been some
thing like DR.. Peck's automobile, for it left long
trail of gas as it dashed along in evident knowl-
edge of the short span of human life and the
necessity of getting somewhere before the steering
gear broke The precise explanation of it's laws
OF planetary and cometary circumlocution are too
copious to give here in this connection and any
way we don't know anything about them, so we
will pass on to another phase of the comets life,
namely its philosophical comosity, whatever that is
Why is comet? The ages echo the answer
1T is" At least that's what we have been in
formed and if they don't, it's of our business.
Years before mankind misunderstood the applica-
ton of whooping cough syrup, the comet had made
well beaten track for it's orbit and had settled
down life of travel, making few if any stops,
but always being fortunate in having big crowd
awaiting its appearance
The year 1910 has been its best season yet, so
far as public appreciation is concerned, and it
could have played several nights more to full
house. But the comet, like the republican tariff
promises has left us, with the hope on our part
that if it comes again we will get more than one
look for our money.
A suburban minister was making his rounds one
day when he met member of his congregation,
an old farm hand, who said:
And how be your daughter this mornin, yer
reverence?''
my daughter!" exclaimed the parson, why,
she is quite well, thank you"
''What!' exclaimed the rustic, why heard
she had bicycle accident yesterday and busted
her inner tube.'
A c<o ;o{;o o1o %o bovo
figures of the conjuga felicity, or rather infelic-
ity, of his countrymen.
Here is the result of his inquiry concerning
Paris: 1862 wives have left their husbands to
elope with another; 2371 husbands have left their
wives to look for others 412O married couples have
separated by mutural agreement; 191, ,O23 couples
continue to live under the same roof in state of
war; 162, $40 married pairs cordially detest each
other but conceal the fact from the public 51O 1872
live in a state of Indifference; 11O2 couples have
the reputation of being happy. but are not; 1876
married couples are happy, compared with so
many others who are unhappy.
Finally, this wonderful statistician says he
knows of only seven couples who are living to-
gether in welded bliss.
The author of these curious figures does not say
what method he followed in his inquiry, and leaves
the public in the dark as to whether he himself is
married.
According to Professor David Lyon, curator of
the Semitic museum at Harvard university, it is
now the year 1913 and to write it 1910 is to assert
historical untruth Researches, he declared,
have definitely established this.
Professor Lyon declares King Herod died in $50
A. U. c., instead of in 753 according to prevalent
belief, and in accepting the latter date the be-
ginning of the Christian era historians have erred.
AS Christ is known to have been born year be-
fore Herod's death he was born in 749.
The 1910 edition of the Century dictionary con-
tains 400, 900 words Think of it! No wonder
some people don't claim to understand the English
language And then there is also the English
slanguage, which of itself has grown to proportions
enormous And if all the terms which Ananias E.
has applied to Red Top were added, the book would
be still bigger, or perhaps we should use the Ger
man term and say grosser.
The first Webster in 1928 contained about 70 600
words, the unabridged of 1864 had ia, 900 words,
and the 1890 International swelled the number to
175,000. By 1850 the English speaking nations
will have to club together and maintain special
curator of the English tongue, with the necessary
vault room to contain all the words, so that any
one desiring to use certain words of unaccustomed
parlance may send for the certain word desired,
use it carefully and return it to the archives for
further preservation. This thing of trying to get
all the English words into one book will soon be
too much for the printer. He's already up against
it enough.
The company which bonded former Adjutant
General Ortis Hamilton, now serving term in
the penitentiary at Walla Walla for embezzement
of state funds, has never paid the bond to the
state Neither has ANYTHING been done toward col