The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1910-04-28
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Top (who has dined off hashed NUT
tom Bile, waiter Waiter-What did
you have, sir? Top (sarcastically)-
haven't the faintest idea.
Did you get in without your
wife hearing you last night?" NO,
and l didn't get in without hearing
her, either Houston Post.
who is the gentleman seated in
the large touring carp" THAT is the
poet laureate of a well known biscuit
factory. Birmingham Age-Herald.
DO you think there is really any
such thing as platonic love?" "Yes.
1t exists between most husbands and
their wives. Chicago RecOrd-Herald.
Papa. what is faith?" well, my
boy, they say your baby brother sleeps.
but I've never seen him do it. Yet, if
l believe he does, that's faith. Life.
She Gas they dance I'm afraid I'm
firing you rather He-Oh, not at ALL
l used to be attendant in the elephant
house at the oo.-Meggendorfer Blat-
ter
Knickei-Jones is all the time want
ing more money. Bocker-No Won
der; his father was a college president
and his mother was a woman.-New
York Sun.
DO you really believe this aviator
will come back to the starting point?"
He won't dare do otherwise. His
wife is waiting for him there File
gen1e Blaetter.
Vicar-And what induced you to
send for me. Mr. Russell? Russell
What's e say, Betty? Betty-'E says:
What the deuce did you send i'm
form. A. p.
Why don't you teach your son a les
son by making him live without his
allowance for a while?" Goodness,
I'can't even make him live within it,"
Cleveland Leader.
Lady-My cooking always tastes SC
good to you, and it never suits my hus
band at all. Beggar-Well, why don't
you get a divorce and marry me?-
Meggendorfer Blaetter
Il am plain-spoken man. said the
applicant for a JOB I'm afraid you
won't do, replied the railroad official
I'VE are advertising for an experienced
train cer."-Philadelphia Rec.
ord.
Father said little Rollo. what is
an epigram?v An epigram, my son,
as modernly propounded. is any sen
tence containing less than two con.
functions and three commas. Wash.
ington Star
Does she seem to take kindly TO so
ciety ways, now that her husband has
made such pile?" ''Oh, yes, indeed
She was the loudest talker at grand
opera the other night "-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
john queried her husbands wife
IF some bold, bad man were TO kid
nap me would you offer a reward?F
Sure thing" replied the wifes hus
band. Il always reward those who dc
me favor. Boston Courier.
Inquisitive. Lady-And what is this
little box for? Nerve-Racked Clerk
Oh, for odds and ends, Inquisitive La
dy-But it has two compartments. Why
is that? Nerve-Racked Clerk-One for
odds, madam, and the other for ends
Harvard Lampoon.
Would it be any harm to deceive
her about my age?" inquired the elder
ly millionaire. Probably not I'm
sixty. How would it do to confess tc
fifty?" Il think your chances would
be better with her If you claimed sew
enty-five kansas City Journal.
How nicely you have ironed these
things, Janet" said the mistress, ad
miringly. TO her maid. Then, glancins
at the glossy linen, she continued in a
tone of surprise: 'Oh. but l see they
are all your own," YES" replied |
Jane. and I'd do all yours just like
that if / had time. Central Christian
Advocate
MY brother. my poor brother." she
moaned, as a halfback was carried un. |
conscious from the field. "Ah, but how
thankful we should be-" her escort, an
old player, cried gayly. Thankful
Thankful for what?S exclaimed the
girl Thankful that ii wasn't a full
back" said he. We haven't a decent
fullback sub. you know Minneapolis
Journal
Friend-So yours was case of love
at first sight? Mrs Getthere- in.
deed. l fell desperately in love with
my dear husband the moment | set
eyes upon him. l remember it as dis
tinctly as if it were yesterday. / was
walking with papa on the beach at
Long Branch. when suddenly papa
stopped, and, point'.g him out, said:
There, my dear. is a man worth ten
millions. New York Weekly.
Jane" said a lady rather sharply
to her cook, Il must insist that you
keep better hours and that you have
less company in the kitchen at night.
Last night you kept me from sleeping
because of the uproarious laughter OF
one of your woman friends" "Yis.
mum, l know was the apologize re
ply; but she couldn't help it. l was
a-tellin' of her how you tried to make
cake one day. Home Jour
nal.