davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26

A carefully dressed. squarely built man.
with a stubby little captain-of-indusTy
mustache walking along pennsylvania
avenue the other day passed man and
woman who were talking animatediy
and ungrammabcally
IT Ia OF known you wasn't there !
wouldn't of went" one Of them was say
ing.
SO much bad grammar as one hears
IN Washington sets on my nerves" re-
marked the squarely built man. Nov
in my town, I'll venture to say, one
hears less bad grammar on the streets
than in any place ! know OF"
Somebody has assumed by this time,
doubtless. that the suarely built man
must have been from Boston. But he
was not. The man was James Wicker
sham. Of Fairbanks, Alaska, and
Alaskan Delegate 20 Congress.
Nickersham gets greatly provoked az
people who are disposed TO regard
Alaska as a bleak wilderness inhabited
only 10y iiluerate miners. lie says the
large number Of college men there make
pa really "a highbrow community.
When the present Alaskan Delegate
first came 10 CONGRESS- be was invited 90
dinner ra,t,- one riabt .lust dress
~. ,.o,, ,,.,.I4 - ,.,. ,,.r, 81, ho,,a D., tI,o,,
-,
'''-l'' az ",'''il'a nun ~ W. 55-.
49, ''-.,L ne +" 't',' -
- 7' "a,
nc - -. -,..'
T., r--,-..,.,. 80 20 t,,.f,7 -
-, 49, ~, -. on 80 ,'f.., - ,o
49, az ,.t..5 - -.
So.
s,....-..- ,.--.. r....t 49,. a.
-'' o'''o" ''"'-'" '' '.' 0'"e' ""' ~
meet a friend After the exchange or
greetings was over, and the friend had
picked up his real alligator grip 10
start on uptowu. Senator Borah lin
eere3 rs.r the cate iooI-inc ste3dfastly
~.
..se. eor,eh..7,. else Won tnov-p., in
quire5 the friend
mo" replied Horah. but / don't seem
to outgrow my boyhood fascination for
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26

> fhe ChIclg Eealrd-H.r

From the Chicago Eec1rd-Haald.
Now that We have the true inward
uess'' Of the recent war scare-which so
ludicrously failed to scare anybody-we
realize that it's origin was remarkably
appropriate. It owed its twenty-four-
hour career 10 a beaucratic blunder and
comedy of ross-purposes.
Secretary Dickinson found the report
on his desk on his return from the Philip
pines; it had been prepared by Gen
Wood: the Secretary assumed that the
President had seen it. and, as he had
heard no murmurs Of protest OF sugges-
tons of revision downward, he approved
ii, no doubt in a state of surprise Gen.
Wood likewise thought the President
had seen the report al this time the
President was getting up his message 10
Congress.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26
The Way OF sfodern Society.

From the Chicago Rrccri Herald
Mother. We simply can't have that
horrible Mrs. Westley at our musicale
She is impossible. She has the manners
OF q cowgirl, and she never goes any
where without insulting somebody"
Il know she is a very vulgar person
but We can't get along without her"
Il don't see why"
We'll, look over the list OF women
who are coming. There isn't one of them
who doesn't size an a drawing-roomful
Of ladies by the clothes they wear. To
make the affair q success We must have
the best-dressed women in town. and
Mrs Westley's gowns are always the
finest that money can buy"
7 hadn't thought OF that Pshaw! I
wish her husband would lose his money,
so she couldn't dress so we'll"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26
An Optimisf,s MIshan.

From the Chicago Record Herald
4 try 10 be optimistic, no matter what
happens"
Il suppose you would be optimistic if
you lost your job@
yes; 1 should try TO keep remember
ing that there were other jobs TO be had"
And you no doubt would keep rght
on being optimistic if you were 10 lost
your wife?''
Why not? ! care a great deal for my
wife, but if she were taken from me
should continue to be hopeful. 1t is al
ways possible for man who has lost his
wife to find anoth-cOnfound the luck
Darn IT all-Dash! Dash Dash .
That's always the way Wien a fellow
has to depend on his last match a gust
of wind is sure to come along and blow
it out"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26
wickersham on Wild Cats.
From the Chicago Record-Hersld.
'"rhe main difficulty has heen that

From the Chicago RecoFd-Herald.
'"The main difficulty has been that the
investing public has been unable to dis
tinguish, because OF the secretive policy
maintained by so many genuine bona
fide institutions, between the legitimate
and the Ilegitmate ones. The former
can afford to deal openly with the pub
lie but the get-rch-quick concerns can
not
There is nothing which would do more
to divert the investments Of the country
into honest enterprises than the publicity
of their financial conditions and business
methods The result would necessarily
mean prosperity for all concerned a
Federal Incorporation law properly
framed would assist in bringing this
about
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26
Deserving of Pensions.

From tho Brooklyn Standard Onion.
Congress is again petitioned TO provide
old-age pensions for members OF the
United States Life-saving Service. The
pay Of the men is $50 a month, and the
work, especially in winter, involves much
hardship from exposure. At the best
the jobs of these men are not particu-
larry attractive, for now they are not
even allowed 10 engage in fishing, and
must devote their entire time to their
duties. A great many people are Of the
opinion that Congress would be perform
ing a lOng-neglected duty by passing a
law pensioning these hardworking and
not too well compensated employee
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26

tie they enseg' IN is a never-ending one
and their enerly the sea. Perhaps only
those wb "a e gone down to the sea Ia
ships" c .'rd appreciate what the Life
saving ser> .ce means. TO appreciate il
you mist bear in mind that these men
patrr' DAY and night the coasts Of the
coN'ta walking their dreary beats
alone, keeping ever-watchful eye on the
treacherous sea. 1t is pleasant work
enough, doubtless. when the winds are
fair and the sun is shining but when
the sea rises in its wrath. makes wreck
of tail ships, and dashes the passengers
on the rocks. it is. these men who brave
her relentless fury, fight her with might
and main. risling their lives a dozen
times over in their heroic efforts to res
cue the seas prey from her. It is a life
fun OF hardship and peril and exposure,
meagerly paid. III rewarded either in
praise or profit
If any service in the world is entitled
to old-age 81 long-service pensions this
is it, and IN, petition that has been
brought before Congress should have
instant need.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26
BENEFITS Runehed.

Trying to sell the turkey sent you.
are your
''Afister, I didn't mean no harm"
$50 this is your gratitude, hey?7'
BOSS, it's this way. / always get six
turkeys Christmas, and nuthin' doing the
rest OF the year"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26

eording to the statement now made by
the Secretary OF War. a futile measure.
1t would be interesting TO know who is
really responsible for a condition SO de-
plorable and so fraught with disastrous
results.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26

THE Republican falling off at the last
election was mainly due TO a depression
in business, the hungry market basket.
and the tghness of money. There is
no actual dissatisfaction with the Re
publican PARTY. and the slump was due
to the stay-at-h0mes to a very great ex-
tent. The year 1912 viii tell a different
story. There is no doubt about Senator
divers reelection, the Pennsylvania
legislature having q Republican majority
Of i0o"
Tais view was expressed by Repre-
sentative B. X. Focht. Of Bewisburg.
Pa, at the New Willard last night
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26
Away out west.

you say this is the only house in the
county"
That's what"
I'm thinking of building a few miles
farther On"
Build right here. stranger Then wen
have q Gown"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26

DR.. Salvatore Casuilio, diplomatic rep
resent.f+ive Of the provisional government
Of Nicaragua, is at the Arlington. He
expects 10 present his credentials some
time this week and understands that the
state Department VIII accept them, thus
Giving formal recognition TO the Estrada
government. David Arrelano. VINO at
present represents the Nicaraguan gov
eminent here, viii be relieved, and il Is
understood viii become a member OF the
Dawson reorganization commission.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26

King Georges appointment Of Gen.
Lord Kitchener as lord high constable TO
take charge Of his coronation ceremonies.
is probably only precaution 10 be sure
that he gets the crown on straight
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26
FroIr tie sulngfeld RapabIlcan.

hrCEE the Springfield Eepuhlcan-
The election q United States Senator'S direeliy
By the people once adopted as a system Throughout
the eoutry. may not end popular agitation conoen-
ing the second CHAMBER Of the American Congress
Certain conservative newspapers which a-e opposed
% the popular elecion Of Senator's are suggesting
that Il the msthod q election Is 70 be changed
much more radical ahezations should foglox. Tie
Richmond TiInes Dispatch declares that the Senate
Itself should be abolished and a single chamber Be
depszded uIuD for legislation. The New York Sun
PROPOSES thar senators be apportioned anaoug the
STATS acgeTkDg. 20 their population.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26
A LITTLE NONSENSE.


CHRISTm IS ON WASH DAY.
When Christmas comes 0u Monday
Il happens Wen. indeed
Then Santa Claus
Need hardly pause
or slackeu pace or speed.
When Christmas comes or Monday
For santa things are fine
For all the hose
fu neatast rows
Are hanging on the line
when Christmas comes on Monday
With stockings out To dry.
Then Santa Claus.
Amid applause,
Can HI EN- on the ny.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26

A ST. Louis man is suing for divorce
because he found a cigarette in his hash.
Did he expect TO get a whole package of
them2
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26

The resi-, OF the Investigation which
shows that the bucket-shops cleared up
$5o0oO00 in collision with telegraph COM
panies only goes TO show that il is true
that one Is born eEerv mInute.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26

Ii is very evident that the Swiss people
are quite hopeless. They propose now to
lower food prices by reducing the tarin.
How absurl'
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26
From the st. Paul Dispatch.

The Constitution TTescribes the method By which
the legislatures Of the several States shall elect
United States senators, bit it is silent upon the
subject Of instructions by voters through primary
elections. Oregon has set the example Of obedience
and Nevada is expected to follow it. though its
Democratic legislature must elect a Republican sena-
tor. But California Is worried over the appearance
Of Increment 10 SIT aside the verdict OF the
August primaries which ia favor Of the election
Of tlat distinguished sp0rtananstaieanan Albert G.
SUalding Of San Diego
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26

Some of the people who spoke OF it as
Christmas stopping of course wished a
merry Christmas TO the STRENGTHENING
department
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26
Details Desired.

do you believe in santa Claus. little
boy
'1That depends. Are you distributing
gifts, or merely compiling statistics?"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26

The proposition TO investigate the expenditures Of
Roosevelt shIe be was President was probably in
tended only 20 tease Teddy. Certainly no one sen
O1zy contemplates that we stall have an inYesti-
eating committee rryng into the expcnditues, with
a possible scandal resulting.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26

owing 20 the storms Of STOW and fire.
quent heavy fogs along the Southeastern
Alaska coast that region Is one OF the
most ueacher0us Tor mariners 10 he found
anywhere. This condition is accumulated"
said J. II. Young. president OF the Alaska
Steamship Company. at the New Willard.
by the lack Of lighthouse and fog signaI
stations along that coast" 1fr. Young Is
iu Washington for the purpose of urging
upon Congress the need Of providing moro
lighthouses
During tie past two years, said Mr..
Young, ''our company had five ships
wrecked on that coast with the loss OF
large amount Of freight but fortunately
very few hu."-n lives. Other companies
lost ships also. and number of vessels
went ashore which were not a total loss.
but which were sold and salvaged. Sena-
tor Piles has introduced d bin upon the
recommendation OF the Lighthouse Board.
calling for lights and signal stations TO
cost $50, 0J0 Nobody. ] believe, questions
the necessity Of this appropriation but,
unfortunately for as, we are SO far away
from the seat Of government that matters
of most vital interest 70 US are often ig-
interest. It is a matter Of very deep con-
Germ, however, TO the people Of Alaska.
and one effect OF If is felt in the very
high insurance rate of y per cent which
Of course. has 10 De added TO our eX-
penses. thereby raising the freight rates.
With vessels in our service worth S3-5o0.-
600 this is a very serious item. We have
had some relief since the establishment OF
the Lighthouse Board as a bureau. many
minor lights having been installed this
wear. This policy has never before been
tried by the United States government
but it is proving to be of material assist
ance TO mariners. officials ] have seen
here are fully alive TO the need Of extern
sive improvements. as some Of the most
important lights and signal stations are
yet to be established
Mr.. Young. who is also vice president Of
the Copper River apd Northwestern KAN
road. was formerly an official Of tho
southern Pacific. with residence at BerSe-
ley. Cal
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26

-
Some Of the people who spoke OF it as
Christmas stopping of course wished a
merry Christmas to the street-cleaning
department
And already you can begin to formulate
your New Years resolutions.
And the unkndest cut Of all was that
a trick toy dog took the place of the
Teddy bear on the Christmas tree this
year
And you might begin TO practice writ
ing it 1911, just TO get the habit
Wonder what those California scientists
who declared that babies are a bad in
vestment thought about it Christmas
Day.
President Diaz must be beginning to
suspect that there is a revolution in Mex
leo.
Although the days are getting longer
thar fact will not seriously alter the
other fact that your Christmas bills
must be paid.
Norfolk. Va. has. an epidemic Of
humps That is "a nice. plebeian way to
spend the holiday season.
one comfort is that the stock Of eggs
in cold STORAGE must have been seriously
depleted by the consumption of eggnog.
That free education does not always ap-
peal is shown by the fact that only two
students applied for the Rhodes scholar
ships In Nebraska, although those schol-
arships provide for the payment or all
expenses.
Speaking Of Christmas gifts. We hope
Fair Columbia was thoughtful enough 10
send the superintendent Of our street
cleaning department an assortment Of
alarm clocks
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26
4 Good WAY.

I've managed 10 convince my wife tina
she doesn't know how to pick out Christ
mas cigars
How did you do it?''
"By smoking 'em IN the house,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26

Representative George p MaIby, Of
Ogdensburs. y. T.. in explaining the
recent political upLeavaI in New York.
said al the New Willard last night;
AT first glance, everybody thought
New York had become a Democratic
STATE. bat thar is not so. II only a
small part of the 1900 stay-at-homes
On election day, most Of whom we're
Republicans. had gone TO the polls. Slim
son would have been elected. The Re
publican ticket was defeated 10y a smaller
margin than the Republicans who neg
Iected 20 vote number II we had known
the day before election what We knew
the day after, Sumson would be COVER
HOr-eIecU to-day. Thereu be q different
tale two years from now; you can figure
on a rOusing Republican majority then
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26

And already you can begin 90 formulate
your New Years resolutions
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26
From the Atlanta Constitution

From the Atlanta Constitution.
The Democratic party ia Congress vii make
poor start toward jusiyiHg recent egideuos Of pub
dc confidence if 1t alJs itself 70 be drawn into the
petty scheme Of Representative Eainly TO bait former
President Roosevelt lie the matter Of his travelling
expense ac1Uuut while IN onca. The whole ITO
cadure is a cheap maueuIer for partisan capital 40
O time When the nation Is out Of patience vi-h pet
uiossins tactics.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26

Speaking Of Christmas gifts. We hope
Fair Columbia was thoughtful enough TO
send the superintendent OF our street
cleaning department an assortment of
alarm clocks.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26

And the unkindest cut of all was that
a trick toy dog took the place of the
Teddy bear on the Christmas tree this
year
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26

Frlm the Nsg YORK TrJaue.
&c SEEMS doubtful if Mr.. Foss' elnraign has cre-
atei any sentiment against Senator Lndgs o.
strengthened tAs opposition 20 hi'a in the Legtla-
mre. To judge f1uu the Massachusetts, neasInpors.
interest has largely died uut AMI 80 far as causing
any public excitement is concrnad. the gJFsrnlr-
cela'5 EIlaaCles have been a f1ilure
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26
VIE US AND
INTERVIEWS
MASON Opposes Expansion.


This country's policy Of expansion is
contrary to the principles Of George
Washington and Abraham Lincoln, ae-
cording to former Senator William r.
Mason. of Illinois, who was recently seen
at the New Willard. "Washington's
Farewell Address" he said. told the
people Of this country to stay at home,
not TO reach out and attempt to inAict
lis beliefs on others. Every republic
that ever died reached its end through
conquest The United States, in its
Philippine policy has gone thousands OF
miles killed hundreds Of Filipinos and
happy American boys. that the Filipinos
might be happy in this nations way-in
/ the way Of some politicians.
when the Jews and Armenians ask
tins country to interfere for the sake Of
humanity 10 save them from cruelty in
Russia, it can take no steps for justice.
but IL has gone into the business itself
Of making people happy in its own way"
Oldest Law Practitioner.
John Porter, Of Eldora. Iowa a law
yer. who is at the Raleigh, is the oldest
practitioner before the United States Su-
preme Court in point Of years Of service.
having been admitted March 3, 1853. He
is here on a matter before the Interior
Department Mr.. Porter has known
every President since Fillmore, with the
exception Of Roosevelt and Taft.
in my opinion" said the venerable
lawyer, Lincoln was the greatest Presl-
dent this country ever had. ! was judge
of district court in Iowa while LIN
coin was in the White House, and / was
repeatedly called 10 Washington. where
/ met President Lincoln on several Oc-
casions"
Mr. Porter claims that President Nc
Kinley's birthplace, contrary 10 general
impression, was NOT az Niles. Ohio, but
three miles from Niles.
Railroad Legislation Harmful.
Daniel Guggenhelm. president Of the
American Smelling and Refining Com
pany. who recently returned from an ex-
tended tour Of Europe. said. During
my visit in France learned that the
French officials were seriously consider
ing the advisablity Of listing no more
American securities on the French stock
I
corporation feeling in America, which
they claim is responsible for the serious
fluctuations in American securities. These
Illustrations make the French investor
dissa tished with his investments ana
fearful OF the ultimate outcome Of the
principal, and be therefore harnesses and
aunoys the French banker who recon-
mended the securities 10 him.
Are we not paying a big price because
of our agitation against railroads and
other corporations Would il not be pref
cradle II the various states that are en-
deavorlng TO prevent the railroads charg-
ing reasonable rates would insist on the
railroads doing away with murder0us
graGe-crossingsc Would 1t not be better
Tor the business interests II the rail-
roads were compelled 10 supply sufficient
cars &c shippers at all seasons Of the
year. 20 establish proper protection for
the workmen. and provide a pension ana
( insurance for their families when the
( breadWinner can do no more WORK."
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26

The small boy does fun justice
To all the brew and bake.
IL wouldn't seem ike Christmas
Without a stomachache.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26

And you might begin TO practice writ
I ing it 1911, just 10 get the habit
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26
Children of the Poor.

'"weu. my youngest daughter makes her
debut tomorrow"
.--1
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26

From the Nov YORK Sun.
The plan Of taking away from the Speakeg Of the
HJuss the naming Of the committees and ezeatiug a
mauy-healsd committee 10 make the selections is
vigorously oTpsed rs Co. Henry Watterson. Who
declares that to adopt it would b. sending 'the
House % SEA in an 0Ien boat without rudder on
compass a pilot. manned by God knows whom
The matter, however. seems to 70 decided in spite
Of sober counsel and the gayesl lnizgiviugs.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26

Frusn the Newark Evening Sssz.
But hoW, in the light Of the constitutional safe
guards against executive encToalalments. can we re-
gard Tie slmmoniug OF legislators to the presence
Of the goEunlT-eec1 10 take orders in g matter OF
legislative duty that belongs to the legislature alone
and from which the governor is by the Federal and
State constitutions entirely ezcluded}
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26

Fum tie New York Tribune.
Now thar -srvater e--zsucy- is getting % 10 =
Hatc-Sorl. c-tchWoul. In the worlds OF business
ard politics. why doesn't Congress Try 70 put itself
in better condition u do its regular gork by ab.o-
ishins the useless holiday recass5 The two houses
adJorncd on December q, % meet again on jam
uary 8, ISL thus taking fourteen days cut OF q
short SESSION which by laE en- Last only ninety days
all told
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26

EIll4 ile il--stl-Le Nuslflcf5 lITtl2i
The W-r Department has I'D intezuon Of abandon
ing Port Thomas. The remaining ,roors nos Tiers
to BE- snt 10 ths PHILIPPINES. bit the b1iIdnss
arr to remain in charge OF a cire-aks-. The sug-
gesiol % convert The fort into d military training
school doe not llnd favor Al Washington The See
Rotary Of Var explains that should il t-zcsme nee
e-sIry at any time 20 withdraw a PORTION O., the
army fTlm ths iusliar possessions or - Increase the
mobile army in the United States tas h-Iidmgs
eil he needed.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26

Norfolk. Va. has an epidemic Of
humps That is a nice. plebeian way to
spend the holiday season.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-12-26

Wonder what those California scientists
who declared that babies are a bad in
vestment thought about il Christmas
DaV