davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07

Always gets me some shaky around
the collarette. too. to listen to the man
and his wife making their little plans in
the last talk about what they're going to
do when he gets out.
Heard a pair of 'em fix It all up be-
tween 'emselves in this station during
their last talk one day three years ago.
HE was a young fellow without any
sort O. gathered in by the rum thing
periodical spree kind-and he'd turned
some little kind of a gouge trick out of
the boss cash drawer while on one of
them; so that he got year for his.
THE girl that met him at the station
couldn't have been out Of short dresses
more than 4 year. She was just a child.
but she was the true blue pal-wife, all
the same, il ever there was one.
"a
Now, you're not going to worry one
Bit, she said to him, stroking his hand
as they sat there, and you're going to
get fine and strong in-in--where you're
going. and you're going to make up your
mind, Jack, dearie, now amt you, never
to touch another drop when you come
out? It won't be long until next spring.
and then your uncle out in Chicago has
written that he'll be glad to give you a
chance in his store. and I'll have our
furniture stored and go and live with
mamma till you come nome. ana tnen we
can ship the furniture and rent a cute
little place in Chicago with little yard
around it, and
well. that stuff; you can figure out
the rest of it-lot more like that. 1t
would have sounded more like sure
thing, the poor little woman's plan, if
hadn't noticed that the young fellow had
q peculiar kind of q cough.
Seven months later I was just about
to put another man on board the train
when I saw that little woman walking
alongside some baggage handlers. who
just taken a box OFF an incoming train.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07
A Byronic Relic.

From the London Chronicle.
A recent traveller in South Australia
discovered in the corner CT the yard OF a
wayside inn near Port Lincoln Carl go
that once belonged to Lord Byron. 1t Is
still in fair preservation. The name OF
the London maker is engraved on the
body Of the vehicle, and on the panels are
Lord Byron's motto and coat OF arms.
Its small sized wheels. leather work and
general design indicate the period OF its
construction.
Lady Charlotte Bacon, an Intimate
friend of the poet-some Of his verses
were addressed to her-emfgrated to
South Australia, and to her the carriage
was sent On her death it passed into
the possession OF family in the Port
Lincoln district and ultimately found its
way into the prosaic yard Of this bush
inn. Sad to say, it bears evidence OF hay|
ing been used as henroost.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07

W1HY is it that editors arc so rough on
w poets? Tradition has 1t that they
always have been and possibility says
they always will be.
Back In the time OF Noah-'twas in the
blushing spring season, too-a poet walk
ed into the office OF managing editor
and with tender hand, placed q grand
poem before him.
The editor picked up the baked brick
(Note to Ivory Tops: that was the only
manuscript they had in those days. and
read the poem. His hands clenched and
he ruminated All was quiet.
How much do get for that?" querted
the poet at length.
You man." cried the editor, dropping
the clay-poem TO the floor, Il am not a
magistrate"
heard this same outburst OF ante
flood humor at a local theater last week.
IRVING c. NORWOOD.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07

A VERY conversational car conductor
q = swims into my ken every so often.
The first time l saw him he was on the
18th street car line. He had habit of
calling out streets that ought to he hail.
famed.
For instance. after leaving H street he
would sing out:
II am next" for the bone headed this
means Il street next'').
When he approached I street, he would
say This Is I-but not me-"
At certain stop farther up he would
sing out:
Here you are at Bink's Place, All
out for Stuedler's Beer Garden. (Made
it nice for conservative old ladies who
got out there. didn't he?}
But he was too fresh and finally they
fired him.
saw him pursuing his avocation on
another line later. I heard him first
from his voice I knew who it was. and
when l had a look at him. then l knew
for sure.
1t was OF a car going to Mount
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07
The x.Ray Eye.

DRoF. PERcIvAL LOWELL. the emf
nent Marian astronomer, said in a
recent interview in New York:
THE Marian canals are not Panama
canals. The word canals you know.
really means lines 1t shouldn't be
taken literally. as the servant girl In
Boston took the parlor magic.
IAN amateur magician in a Beacon
street house was going through his tricks
while maid passed in and out with re-
freshments.
1.-The magician was reading letters
placed under a rug as the maid brought
in tray Of lemon ices.
What letter Is this?' a spectator
asked.
That u b. the magician answered,
ana. sure enough, his answer was cor
rect.
Tile maid looked with astonishment at
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07
A Rivals Beauty.

W1HE late Creston Clarke" said an
actor at the Players Club, had
a strange belief in infiuences-in your in
huence over ME, in my influence over
you.
He illustrated this belief with incl.
dents, some serious. some light Thus
he would tell how he once exclaimed.
pointing toward a Juvenile lead:
Why, what has come over Dash?
See how he stalks about, with a scowl
on his face. his shoulders launched IN
and his hair pulled down over his fore
head! 1t makes him look like a NOM
key
Yes. doesn't it.? a mutual friend re-
piied: Dash's rival in the company told
him he resembled Napoleon. ana the noor
fellow is trying to live up to it,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07

reticuie SOS you could dip in and appease
your horrif1c hungerings while we We're
on the way to this place?
Look a-here, there's q lot Of stringy
hairs Hopping around on the back of
your neck. Can't You hook 'em up or cut
'em off or something? HOw's that? me
air is SO moist today that the curl won t
stay in your hair? Huh. You cOuldn' t
bribe it or something to stay iii. could
you? l spose your hair is different from
that Of all the rest Of the women on the
globe, hey? The hair of all the other
women 1 see around here looks fine and
dandy instead of stringy and moist and
soggy, but I s'pose the moist air doesn t
have any effect upon their hair, Ell? is
that it?
by the way. it's wonder YOU
wouldn't have those shoes of yours pol
ished. They look as if you'd worn 'em
for a couple Of WEEKS while house hunt
ing in Anacostia in the rain. 1t only
costs nickel or SO to have 'em slicked up
a little. you know, and it's wonder YOU
couldn't attend to these things without
my suggesting 'em.
"Hows that? You don't like to sit up
on the bootblack stands because women
attract so much attention that way? \, ell.
/ suppose I wanted you to perch yourself
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07

and where there isn't a breath OF air.
eve might just as we'll have stayed
home as come out here. If I'd known
you were coming here to plant yourself
at some gummy table and eat yourself
right through the bill Of fare I'd have
Cancelled the expedition and l might
have known that that's what you'd do
at that.
you want to go in there? Oh. of
course you do, because you always have
to wait about a week to get served in
that place. 1 s'pose you'd like to have
me swelter and foam around In that
dump trying to catch the eye of a waiter
till midnight or later? Well. you've got
another guess.
81 came out here to get a lungful Of
air after working myself to the verge
of nervous prostratiOn, and you've hard
ly got off the car before you pull this
famished wall on me. and the best l get
is seat in front of a greasy table cloth
in a malodorous corner of a beanery.
Edifying, isn't ii. to sit around about
nine-tenths Of the time and watch a
woman eat?
''Ye-eh. l s'pose these fellows that duck
the matrimonial game are bone-conks,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07
Wedding by Proxy.
rom the London Standard

From the London Stanoaru
Fraulein Anna Hirsh of Linz, Austria,
had a legacy left to her by an uncle on
condition that she should be married be-
fore her twenty-first birthday. Her
f1ance, Carl Burgruber, a wine dealer.
was away In Smyrna when he heard the
news. but as his business prevented him
from returning to Europe before March.
and as the girl was to attain her ma
jority at the end of the present month.
the lovers decided that there should be
q marriage by proxy. Accordingly Frau
lein Hirsh was married in this manner
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07

A PROPOS of a titled foreigners recent
"a marriage to a rich and rather ugly
American girl. Paul A Sorg said at a
dinner in New York:
THE count has no cause to complain
The ethics of such a marriage as his are
but the ethics of the matrimonial agency
"a man called at a matrimonial agency
~ am interested he said. in the young
lady who has $25U.OUO In her own right
Could you let me see her photograph
No: that is not the custom. the agent
replied. In any case over 100000 the
photograph is never asked for F"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07
Origin of the Pigtail.
From the Japan Nail.

From the Japan Nall
The report that the Chinese department
of state affairs contemplates issuing an
order directing officials. soldiers and police
to give up the queue and TO wear their
hair short recalls that the queue was in
troduced into China by the Manchu
dynasty nearly three centuries ago. 1t is
said to have been originally suggested
to the Manchus by their sense of graft
tude to the horse. that animal having
played a great part in the Tatar con-
quests In short, the ''pigtail' was a
method Of establishing a relationship be-
tween human beings and horses.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07

son-regard me carefully, even, at this
date-once was the thing that saved me
from being Iynched by a bowling mob or
coal miners.
THAT goes back some. 1t goes back
to the time when / was peddling peanuts
and pink lemonade with Lemon Brothers
circus. When the show crept into lit
tie coal mining town in southern Illinois
one Fourth of July morning. back in the
early nineties-it was one of those Wei
come to our city fiiv hamlets of about
1000 folks-my first move after hitting
I'D the Java in the cook tent was to
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07

welted TO the dirge of s1.G:yO, the gameness
dropped out of baker angel with every
jump the horse made. and by the time
the finish line was reached l had an an
gel beside me whose big, globular tears
We're scalding the grass of the lawn like
SO much hot. soapy dishwater.
HE slipped me the wall that he'd been
done. / bad al. L could do to keep from
putting a knee in the small of his back
and nudging him into q paddock watering
the letter which had been hidden under
the thick rug She turned her gaze on
the handsome young magician, who had
read it. Then. setting down her tray of
ices, she hid her rosy face in her hands
and ran out of the room.
whats the good O. me clothes| she
cried"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07
g -A s..ss- az
Illusions.

PUCk.
1t is true we labor under many il
lusions, but il these were to be done
away with we should hardly deem 1t
worth our while to labor at all.
Almost none of the things which
nan so art3ently pursues In the belief that
they will make hsm happier is really ca
pable OF doing So and yet 1t Is needful
that he keep up the pursuit for the sake
Of what he incidentally achieves in behalf
Of destiny.
The illusions we labor under partake, in
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07
The Simple Life.

From London Punch.
Hungry Guest-Afraid I'm a biz late,
but hope 1 haven't kept breakfast wait
ing. "
Hostess-Oh. j forgot to mention that
we're trying the mo breakfast plan, and
feel SO much better for it. We do trust
1t will have the same effect with you.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07

trough. but / just quit instead, and he
came back TO Washington. an. still Weep
ing profusely. and told all Of his buddies
he'd fallen into the hands of a second
story man and been shredded And that
was the termination of my connection
with angels for Pimlico. The next time /
go on the block it's going TO be with my
own kale, even if the wad consists OF
Brazilian bonds good only when Ireland
is free, or / don't go on at all"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07
Epiqram on Experience.

THE late Senator Platt had whimsi-
j cal way of wrapping his views of life
in neat epigrams.
A New York jurist once said to Senator
Plat:
"Mv son wishes to marry a chorus girl
Give him some good advice. won't you?"
mo" said Senator Platt. Advice is
worthless. We learn only by experience"
Here he smiled sadly.
land experience" he said, is, alas,
comb for q bald head"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07

when he had taken her for an outing
tAo other afternoon
I'D as lief take four young 'uns to a
picnic as To- take YOU anywhere for an
afternoon. We only had lunch an hour
or so ago-oh, well, then, three or four
hours ago if you've got TO pick my
words to pieces-and here YOU are MAX
ing my life miserable moaning for more
food.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07

away. Often enough they mean not to
turn up at the station. but somehow they
can't get away with it, and so there they
are when their mans brought In.
IT always give 'em word or two
alone. 1t isn't regulations to take the
cuffs off prisoner in the station, but
never could see this thing of shaming a
man. especially first,timer' before ms
little woman pOdner by keeping the brace
let's on him when she's there at the sta
ton waiting to look him over for the
last time in a long while. l nudge on q
little ways and let 'em hold hands as
long as the time allowance Tor Train
timen stand for it.
1.-The mans generally glancing out OF
the tail Of his eye for me to give him the
finger signal. and then he gets up. and
the bad part Of the job pretty generally
happens right then.
Say. I've seen flrst-timers have to use
all the strength they had to unwrap the
arms of their wives from around their
necks at that last minute. Peop'e in the
station don't generally know what's COM
merely that the boy is going off for n
long trip and that the girls Just crying
over him for that reason.
when he breaks loose the man'll gen.
orally join me at a trot. calling back to
her over his shoulder. Goodbye. and be
a good GIRL and then the quick dart
through the swing doors, and the picture
is wiped out.
"And they're good girls. and they stay
good, that kind. all right, take 1t from
me. They're good way down to the core
and they're stayers thatd go the whole
distance even IL 1t was a million miles
You've got to give It to women like that
They've got us skinned couple of ways
from the ace when it comes to that stick
thing. and I'm saying it that's a mid
H.
ing the fall Of the dice for most Of my
life.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07

those fool circumstances. he was there
with the oil. and so. seeing the useless
ness of chawing with him on the point, 1
went on and. when the others were lay
ing S to against Lochiel, 1 was letting
'em have to 1.
Coon on. poys. NIT dat Logeel
money my baker angel was yelling at
'em as they swung by. Two to yum is de
nrice. unit all you want Of there's de big
store for LOgeel?
"Oh, he was game, all right-there
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07

and a dead one. Oh. yes, he'd got it
right. too-straight as an oil pipe line.
De suggers,' he told me, will all taiS
Logeel, unit We lay odds against him.
We maig t'ousands, chess?'
Now, Lochiel looked like the winner
of that sprint to me. I nailed him to a
stanchion and for half an hour tried to
gimlet it into him that the bookmaker
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07

ONE fellows dOff
their bonnets to a
passing load of hay
for luck. but mine
comes off when
ever 1 pass a laun-
dry said Fred E.
Moore. the man
ager OF a theater
In Atlantic City.
1.-The fact that L
always was q
cleanly young per-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07

Ne of the veteran
headquarters de-
tectives who con-
voyed n murderer
TO Sing Sing a few
days a go was tell
ing me yesterday
of some of his
travelling expert
enccs with crimi-
mails.
I'D a good deal
rather hook up
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07

conscientious manner. sometimes almost
to the neglect of their other business
in the lower branch of the national legis-
lature. Unfortunately. many OF the
members appointed To TINS committee
seem to consider the assignment in the
nature Of a joke.
Eliminating Representative Samuel w
Smith ~ Michigan, the chairman OF the
committee; Representative Iearre OF
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07

# is "a fortunate
thing for the Ma
tioHal capital that
there are a few
men on the House
committee on the
District of Column
bia who take their
connection W / t h
that committee sell
ously. and who at
tend 10 their du-
ties in the most
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07

W A S III | y GTDN,
dead game w h o
booked for a
while at the PIN
leo race meeting
with a number OF
proxy bank rolls
was telling his
narrative of grief.
Not "a q a y n e"
SaiG he. I'm not
shopping around
for another angel.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07

II. you're hungry,
are you? OF course,
you're hungry! 1
might have known
you'd be hungry
and begin to moan
about it as soon as
we got out here,
gro u n G i Mr.
CIR mp, oiilng
along and making
a gre e a b ! e Mrs.
Cru m p s path
ks n
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07

last Sunday. the bridegroom being repre-
scented by a friend appointed by her
fiance.
She was thus legally entitled to enter
possession of her fortune, but she was
not to remain a bride for long. Yester-
day while she was engaged In preparing
her new home she received a telegram
to announce the sudden death of her
husband.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07

Rainier. the land of the overshoe and
the fiocking place of the mud turtle. The
car was crowded and no conductor could
l see because 1 was wedged against the
front door by a triple expansion set of
fat women with market baskets. AS We
approached Mount Rainier / heard the
conductor shout:
Here We are Mount Ray Near. called
by some Mount Rainy Are. Others call IL
Mount Rainier, and some say plain Dis
trict line
A REPORTER assigned to the District
building left the pressroom a few
days ago. telling his copy boy TO 'look
out for any telephone calls" When the
reporter came back from the Office OF
Commissioner Johnston. laden with all
sorts of news, the copy boy had gone. but
a large sign was hanging TO the telephone
1t read:
Some thing called You Up / link it
was yor Wifi"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07

he said to me. I don't know whether
we can hold out against EN- or not.
1T took me quite while to pick it
out Of him what it was all about. At
first when he told me was so stampeded
that I could only wiring my hands and
say that didn't know anything about 1t.
Then, in a moment Of calm. l suddenly
remembered something. The laundry.
The laundry was an alibi.
81 was two miles from the circus lot
when that man was killed. l told the
jailer.
Don't lie when you're SO close to a
possible finish, boy the jailer came back
at me, sternly. You killed that man and
you know it
"'Waitv implored him as he started
to pass out of my cell door. IL brought
one OF your own townsmen here, n bust
ness man that you and everybody else
here knows. and he told you that 1 was
with him. at his place Of business. when
the man was killed at the circus lot two
miles away-wouldn't you believe him?
I was talking for my life, and l knew it.
1.-The jailer came to a halt when I said
that.
But YOU can't do anything of the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07
Are You One (!
From Everybody's

From Everybodys.
Say, pop. what's pessimistc''
"A pessimist my sen, is one who, OF
two evils, chooses them BOTH
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07

But when Lochiel went away from his
field in three hops and came home with
his mouth open wide enough to stick an
appended corncob in it, and the book was
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07

Dye think I'm going to wheel around
and take punch at every man tnat &C
cidentally jostles you little IN TINS
crowd? I'd get fat doing that. And you're
pretty we'll padded with excessive eating
to stand little iostling.
That's it, stand there and eye that
restaurant window display in that wolfish
way Of yours! Why didn't you brlne
along ten or fifteen smoked herring or
bologna sausages and things In your
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07

wasn't any copper on that: game while
the cush came speeding in on Lochiel;
that is: and the boys gnawed on the
Lochiel price like an alley dog gum
ming an old bone.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07

Well. l hope BOBBY Hatch Mike has
been sent away to Matteawan by this
time-him with his singin' and hymn
howlin' all night long, another on the
familiar ride TO the pen will say; and
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07

self lost like young 'un at an Inaugural
ton parade! Hows that? You didn't
notice where 1 was going. and the crowd
separated us? Oh. Of course! You were
thinking so keenly about the eats that
you fell into a trance. Here. try to stick
alongside Of me as long as that's part
Of the game. Now, never mind handing
out those black looks to men that &C
cidentally brush into you. s'pose they've
as much right here as you have. l s'pose
you'd be tickled foolish if you got me
mixed up in a chaw and rougnhouse
with about fourteen piano movers,
wouldn't you?
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-05-07

neat little thing in a cheap dress and a
cheap twisty little old bum Of a hat, but
she was sweet and clean all the way
through: and then she had her arms
around him: and me looking away and
pretending to be listening to the guy cali
Ing over the trains that were leaving.
''Then she called to the three young
'uns--boy and two little girls. scrubbed
tykes, with big blue lamps like their
mothers. and neat Ike her, too-and they
came a-toddling over, clapping their
hands over the sight of their dad. and
begging them to take them away where
he was going.
Papa can't take you. children-he's
going away on a long journey. but he'll
take you down to the merry-go-round
when he gets back the little mother told
the young 'uns, to cool 'em out OF the
idea that they wanted to go along with
their dad.
"Then, as it was close to train time,
/ slipped him the wink from where
was standing, and the little woman got
her head kind O. glued to his shoulder till
he had to push her away, and then ne
picked up the shavers and staked 'em all
to a hug; and they all asked him to
fetch 'em something nice when he came
back from the place where he was going.
and all like that. Well, honlbrey. it had
me some lumpy around the fichu, believe
me.
"'Bring us back something nice from
where you're going says the tykes. wav-
ing dada at him. and the clean little
woman In the cheap dress standing there
by the door with her hand over her eyes
and her breast heaving; ibo. that picture
had me around the neck for a long. long
time after ia got my man on board the
train; If it didn't I hope I choke!
"a good many of the little wives. y'see.
are bound to show up at the station to
have the last good-bve Of their man be-
fore he goes away, no matter IL they're
told in advance that they'd better stay