Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-03-18


TeaeheT-FEow many make a mil
lion. Johnny Johuny-Not many
Ever had appendicitis" mo.
There amt never been a time when I
could afford it."-Detroit Free Press.
Barber-Have anything on your face
when | get through, sir? Victim
Some skin and nose, hope Boston
Transcript.
George-Do you think that I'm good
enough for you, darling? Daring
NO, George; but you're too good for
any other girl.
The chicken stew has two prices
in the bill Of fare How is that, walt
err With chicken In 1t, 1t is 80
cents, without it, 10"
Mother Cooking over her boys
shoulder) Your spelling is perfectly
terrible. Little Son--This ain't spell
In lesson. IT'S a composition.
Politician Congratulations. Sarah;
I've been elected Sarah with de-
light } Honestly? politician-What
difference does that make?-st Louis
Times
The Father Did mamma punish
you to-day Tommie? The Boy-Yas,
sir What did she do?' Made me
stay In the house while she was tax
ing her singing lesson!"
They are going to lock Jones up for
the good OF the community" What's
he done?' He's talking of setting
Brownings poems to Ricnard Strauss
music. Cleveland Leader.
The AIan--No, / don't suppose that
shall ever marry I'm too shy, don't
you know. and faint heart ne'er won
fair lady" The Girl thelping him on
But Pm not fair; I'm dark.
Why" asked a Missouri newspaper,
does our State stand at the head III
raising muesr' Because" said an
Iowa paper that is the only safe
place to stand Jack O'Lantern
Teaoher-lf you wear one pair Of
| shoes three months. how long viii two
pairs last? Jimmie year Teach
er-Oh, no, how do YOU get that?
jimmie don't wear any in the sum
mer
Yes. do most Of my work at night
| now" What's the reason?" why.
I'm a Wileyite and cook my food four
nours, and being Fleteherlte 1t takes
me three hours TO eat Clevelani
Plain Dealer
Whey DO you think there is a man
that could conscientiously say TO his
Wife. You are the only woman / ever
ioved?" Hubby Only one that can
think Of Who? You, dearest?" "Oh,
no, Adam Spare Moments.
A woman went to a bank. She no
ticed that there was a new face be-
/ hind tho window Has the cashier
gone away to take rest?" she en-.
CURED NO.. replied the new man:
he has gone away to avoid IT"
How do you extract women teeth
without their screaming? You don't
give gas but my Office Is opposite
a millinery display When the WON
en- get absorbed In looking at the hats
they're oblvious to pain - Kansas
City Times
Young Lady con first visit TO West
ern ranch) For what purpose do you
use that coil OF line on your saddle?
Cowpuncher That line, as you call
it, lady. we use for catching cattle
and horses, Young Lady dare say.
Now, may / ask what do you use f)-
bait
The new housemaid had just opened
the door In response to Wigglesby's
ring. is Miss Marlborough in?" asked
Wigglesby Yes, CORR, she's in sorr.
but she's engaged" said the maid.
Yes. know" smiled Wigglesby I'm
what she's engaged TO- Harper's
Weekly.
Then you don't think l practice
what + preach, eh?" querled the min
cons mo. sir don't" replied the
deacon You've been preachin' on the
subject Of resignation for two years
an 20 haven't resigned yet. Ladies'
Home Journal
Tubb Old boy, want to congratu-
late you on your speech at the banquet
last night. OSudds latter waiting d
moment)--I know you do, pard and
you're awfully sorry you can't do it
1ruthfully I appreciate the effort
just the same NASTY weather, isn't
it?--Chicago Tribune
Mrs. Al do love lobster, but
never have them at home, because I
seems 80 inhuman TO kill them by put
ting them In kettle Of boiling wa
ter. Mrs B.-Gracious! / never kill
them that way. 1T would be too hor
rlbIe; ! always put them on in cold
water and let them come to a boil.
Il regret very much that we cannot
use your story" said the magazine
editor. handing back the manuscript
ITS astonishing how much really good
literature We are compelled 70 decline
IT'S more astonishing, though" said