The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1905-1910, 1910-09-30


nung herself down on the grassy crest
and gave way to vc,celess agony.
Sometimes there II nothing 80 ter
rible. she realized. as prayer granted.
AZ desire accomplished, a. bndsrtst.
ing brought to conclusion. The av.
fulness OF success was upon her In
that hour. Her ruse had worked. Her
object had been attained, yet the
achievement gave her no pleasure.
Her own acts had parted her lrrev.
ocably forever from the world and
the one man IN Il who was the world
for her. He was gone. She who had
made him had sent him forth among
his fellows. She had sacrificed her.
self. buried herself alive for him. She
ences birth pangs and knows that
with every throb OF tearing anguish
her own life GIBBS away. passes into
the new life which she ushers into the
world and gives to men.
She had long hours for thought In
those two days in that cave whose
mouth the waters hid. She had
schooled herself to face light and life
without him when she emerged from
her cunning hiding place. She had
waited the long period in order to
make absolutely certain that they
would be gone. And yet, despite her.
self little CLEAN Of hope, a bare pos
sibility that he might be there still.
had fingered in her soul and leaveued
the awfulness of her grief. Now II
was gone. II had sunk beneath the
horizon even as the ships had disap.
peared. She had been bitter against
him. Her soul had revolted because
he had failed. She had told herself
that he was not worthy of her She
forgot these things in that profound
and desolate moment She knew only
that she loved him. When she could
think of other things than he, the
mere bodily presence 4 the man. the
look of him, the sound Of his voice.
the pressure of his lips, the clasp of
his arms, she began to realize that as
he grew older, unless she was so alb
solutely mistaken in him as to make
all estimate Of him mockery he would
realize the falsity of his view. the lit
tleness of his action, and II he were in
truth the man whom she could rightly
love, his years would be one long re-
greet that he had failed. What would
happen when he realized that. when
he came to the knowledge that she
was indeed all that she had seemed
and that he had been nothing that he
should? She knew, as she had writ
ten, that the man would never. could
never, forget her; that wherever he
went and whatever he did, she would
be present with him; that she had
stamped herself too indelibly upon his
heart for any attrition with humanity.
however close and persistent, TO erase
the image. He would come back per
haps.
20 Cod" she knelt down and
stretched out her arms. bring him
back" she prayed-a few short. brok-
en- words, lacking the eloquence OF
long and studied petition. the appeal
OF the heart every throb Of which is
prayer-"bring him back to met
She thought that she would have
had him back on any terms. She said
that she had been mad. a fool. not to
have taken him. not to have gone to
him, not to have married him in any
way, with any conditions. under any
circumstances. All her thoughts were
merged In one great passionate long
ing to be with him.
For the FIRST time In her life the
pangs OF Jealousy tore Der breast She
thought OF him In the world with 9TH
er men, with other women. young.
handsome, a perfect godlike form and
face Of man. rich, the widest romance
with its charm and mystery to attract
His story could not be hid. neither
could hers. The man would be court
ed, sought after. made much over. be-
loved II would be enough to turn the
head Of a saint How would he stand
it, Would the recollection of her
make him strong? Would that God In
whom he and she both had trusted
until the crisis came, lead him In the
straight path? Would her purity, her
sweetness-stopl would he think her
thus lowered and possessed? Not
now. certainly. but every hour that
took him farther from her would add
to his knowledge and would tell him
the truth and these would help him.
Another thought came into her
mind. His story would be known and
hers as we'll The world was filled
with adventurous men. Would not
some Of them come in search Of her
island? The officers OF those two ships
could determine accurately the situa.
ton of that island. Il would be as
easy for a navigator to find IL as for a
denlzen OF city to go to any given
street corner. People would come
back to that island. not to seek her.
for the world would believe her dead.
but simply to see the place. Idle
yachtsmen might find that an object
for long cruising and she would have
to hide and hide. But would she hide
Would she go back to that world
Never. she said. unless he came TO