Omaha daily bee., 1910-04-09

could not make out how he was able to
reach so high.
" Whose levitating your I asked.
'Wha's date'
" How can YOU reach 50 high"
Ans standiu' ON NAH toes,
Fisher stopped TO take the drink Lahm
offered him, but he went right ON as soon
as he had gulped it down
\ Bath and n brush.
Too clean Tor me- he said. "lNc been
down in the Mississippi valley Tor q month
and I'm not used to this bleachcd water.
! like mine brunette. You know how dirty
the water is down that Way. The worst
I've seen was i'm Nashville. They're proud
OF it there, you know. They say YOU need
the grit in your crop, if you go so tar as to
drink It. but washing is where it shines
YOU. Makes YOU clean without soap. Just
rub the water ON the skin and the sand
takes off the dirt. They don't like to have
you get funny about il ia your remarks.
While 1 was there Sol Metzger. with 2
line Of leather goods. came along and
signed up for three-fifty a day, American
plan, bath thrown in. Sol went upstairs
to get ali he could for his three-ftfty.
pretty soon ho telephoncd down.
Dots a nice mud-bat' / got here; but
VIII you send up some clean water, so [ git
q wash-off wen I'm through
George Youngerman is chief clerk there
now. and ne got the call.
" That isn't the way We do il here. Mr..
Metzger." he replied. Ring me up when
you're dry and III send a beli-boy up to
brush YOU off"
Nice people down SOUTH commented
Andy Crothers, but too pious mostly for
my business. l handle feathers exclusively.
and some of the churches object to them.
There are whole sections where | can't sell
even a robins wing. About the only
chance the women have to snow off their
clothes is at church, and every time a
woman shows up with a feather in her hat
the preacher begins to make remarks at
her.
There are a few owns. however, right
in the middle of the religious section where
the women want the longest and f]luffiest
feathers I carry. II it were not for them
Id have to cut out the whole section.
one day l was in a pretty lively town
In Kentucky. where half the women 60 reg
ularly to meeting with flowers in their
hats, and the other half don't so at all and
wear feathers. While ! was talking to a
customer in came one of the flower kind.
anu n HtN Gltih, not klONllS lne QlILer-
ence, began to show her some Of the latest
hats all fused over the top with feathers.
My customer saw the woman's sour
look, so she called the girl over and said
Show her something cheap and virtu-
GUS
In StOpOVer Towns.
Il showed my samples in a queer place
in a little Iowa town. broke in Emil Hol-
Z don who handles taxtilaS eel ovvy,.oa 49,
in the afternoon, and the hotel was fun of
travelling men. There wasn't a bed or a
sample room to be had and the only place
to show my line was in the street. But
one of my customers came down to the
depot and 1 opened a trunk for him In the
baggage room.
II asked for goods l had in another
and in five minutes ! had my samples all
over the baggage room. l slipped the bag
gageman a couple of dollars and sent word
uptown that l could only keep my trunks
open an hour; so they all came down and
made the fellows in the hotel wait. After
I had finished l packed up and ate supper
in the next town"
Il can beat that" said George Harding,
who goes on the road for half a dozen
manufacturers of brass novelties. Il have
- NN - 49, @FNN Wv III LNtli-
lucky who isn't quite worth a stop-over,
because there is only one train a day and
there are more important towns on the
road.
o this last trip Z wrote him to meet
me at the station and ride on to the next
town with me. but when we pulled in he
wasn't there. 1 had five minutes and |
used it to sprint a block and a half to his
store. He said he was loaded up; but |
told him that was no answer, and he prom
ised to be on hand two days later, on my
return trip.
Coming back. one of the Pullmans was
empty. l tipped the porter a dollar, he
brought in a few trays of my best stuff
and l arranged it on the seats of the whole
car. My customer was there, made his
selections, bought a bunch OF stuff and
the whole deal was closed in five minutes. "
No one could match that; but Mort Good
kind had a story of two Irish high-graders
from Goldfield who went down to San
Francisco in the same sleeper with him.
They had a section between them; and
when it came time to go to bed the fellow
who drew the upper merely slipped off his
} shoes and rolled in. The one in the lower
seemed to be encountering difficulties
Finally the one up above called down:
whats the matter, Mike? Don't you
like your bunk? Every time l fall ASLEEP
you give a bump and I wake up
" It's this hammick. I have tried three
times to git into it, and every time l fall
out"
Afraid 1t Would Go Stale.
Say what you like about the pie" sighed
Mort Goodkind, but / wished they learned
how to make good Yankee pie at the lunch
counters along the western roads.
There's a town in Colorado where tn,
same pie stood on the lower shelf while
made two trips, 1t looked so unWhOlesomt
nobody could eat it. l wish I had seen thu
fellow they tell about in Nebraska wht
[ gave the lunch counter 9 new start in life
"He came through on a train that wa!
stalled a few stations above Grand Island
and began looking around for entertain
ment. The only thing worth noticing wa.
. the lunch counter, so he sized it up, anC