Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-08-04
SCRAPS FROM PROFANE HISTORY.
BY ST. John BYER.

BY ST. JOHN BfER.
Many years ago, the good, piouS folks
who on bright Sabbath mornings wended
their way down to the churches standing
on the orient crest OF this old town, were
edited by the sight OF an old man, not in
Sunday best, but in Scant costume, Sit
ting out beneath a large tree against
which his feet were propped in American
style; holding in his lap a large family Holy
Bible, from which he read his morning
lessons in loud, commanding voice, not
TO be overCrowed, even by the ringing OF
the church-bellS. HerWaS rather rough
looking dispenser Of the Gospel-hlS face
a SCARED map evidencing many OF the
rude fisticuff battles of those manly old
days his small gray eyes peered through
a pair of large, baleful glasses, held with
some difficulty and back strap on the
nose, which had lost its bridge by some
rude antagonists blow. His desire to
read the Scriptures with an unbiased un-
derstanding was evidenced by his feet
not being covered by shoes or socks
they presented themselves in bald truth
fllness, with cornS, calloSitieS and bum
ions in full view. He was somewhat
deaf, so he read in loud tone, that he
might hear himself sounding forth the
proClamationS-"An the Lord said unto
| Moses" a sentence to which he gave
startling emphasis, though he appeared
entirely unconscious OF the paSSerSby /;
even when the churches emptied and the
whole procession came by, he held on
yet more loudly and unconCernedly. An
other Bible sentence he delivered with
peculiar guSto, "And |, Danie''-Falting
here as though delberating whether he
should add his own patronymic Brooks
to the written word-for such was the
name OF the queer old character hereto
fore described.
He owned and lived in large wealth
erboarded, ramShackle house down near
the churches, so that his old Sin-Soaked
soul enjoyed some of the droppingS OF
the sanctuary. These in him were trans
formed in the strongest, most lurid eX-
pressionS OF profanity, in which fine art
he had an ambition to excel. AT the
same time, he paid that Difference TO re-
ligion which is often held by those out
side OF its pale, and he could rehearse all
the Bible stories in form more forceful
than elegant, never falling to add the hot
test birthstone consignment for any pres
ent who might not fully concur and be-
lieve.
His first trade was that of shoemaker,
but this he abandoned and rose to the
more commanding position OF owning a
horse and wagon, with which he did the
village hauling. He had peculiar pride
in this misunderstanding up in his wag-
on full length as he drove around with a
naughty, overbearing mien. Sometimes
hauling was not brisk; once he COM
planned at the Enter Hotel that he hadn't
earned dollar since Noah'S Flood.
Conrad Starry, then sheriff, offered him a
gold dollar if he would carry shovel and
walk up and down the square for that
day. He took the banter, and the town
was regaled all that day by the sight OF
Dan Brooks, shovel on shoulder, solemn
ly marching up and down, needless OF
the jeerS and remarks OF those who
/ crowded around to see the fun - any
weak variety of amusement being Sutfl-
cient to excite this quiet village.
One year he served as town-Sergeant,
collector of taxes and whatnot Upon
settling up, he had left three big silver
dollars. These he set up as monument
to his own honesty, swearing he would
never let them 60 out OF his hands unless
he was starving for bread. He took them
publicly to SmithShop, and chiSel-
marked them so they could never be mis-
taken for any common coin. A near rel
alive offered him fine farm OF western
land if he would 60 thither and take pos
session. So he packed up his house
hold goods, wagon well stocked, and
wended his way out beyond the noun
tains, passing through the State OF Gin
cinna- tie" as he called it, but the night
he found the fertile prairie OF middle
Ohio, his destined place, there came up a
sweeping wind storm, worse than any in
this sheltered valley. Though Dan was
a great blow himself, he could not stand
il in the Climate. That nights blast was
sufficient for hint blew him all the way
back, for he never unloaded his goods,
but started homeward next morning.
He lived here until few years after the
war-but the weakness ofage never made
him weak in will or letting forth his mind
in loud voice. Yet he was man OF his
word, and when once he stated that he
believed he should die before Christmas
then only two weeks ahead-he made
good his belief and did, as he called it.,
"pass in his checks" So his burial was
on a holiday. In this he was more con-
sistent than an old cotemporary, who
lived al the farther end of town. Wash
Hawn had been feeble, depressed and
bedfast for a long time. He assured an
attendant that he was about to die ,iand
asked him to 60 down TO Tom Hopkins
for the cooling board" to lay him out
upon. His friend made sacred compliance