davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30
HORSE SENSE
rom Punch

From Funch.
 Horses as friends have a thousand at fractions. They are humorous and un- derstand a joke. They are innocently mischievous and will play with their intimates. Moreover. they have high sense of dignity. I remember gray pony that could not bear to be laughed at. The boys of the family knew its weakness and used to go to its stall and laugh heartily. His fury and his flashing teeth. as he laid back his ears and strained at the halter to get at them, are a picture ineffaceably i'm pressed upon my memory.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30

She must have her little benences. Ono moment, dared to say, You are in a great hurry for your benefices." I shall never protest again. It made me feel so small She looked so disgusted at mel If you don't know how much she wants. ask her. She will tell you. Do not fear. She knows. and SO will you. If you have nothing but gold in your pocket. she will make change for you. standing in front of a whole row of peo- pie and breaking up an entire audience. There is no redress. Have you a lady with you? If so. this bombazined harpy will increase her exactions. She vii, bring in a piece of raw wood and ram it under the lady's feet. You may not know the object of this; you will probably think the poor old creature has gone loony and is groveling on the floor for sport. Not at all. The piece of raw wood is footstool, and she will come around presently for more money Give 1t. That Is my advice Give it. or you will be horribly humlliated.
 I have seen all this night after night. It Is hopeless to kick, except at the manager. The beggars themselves will naturally beg, if they are allowed to do so. Instead of being locked up as vag- rants, they fill every French theatre foy- CT, and hold up every Tom, Dick and Harry. There is no escape. You can- not make one payment for your evenings entertainment. even If you give double. You are all the time slxirmishing in your Things for small silver and coppers.
 French people no S2nger care. They give up as part of thAEame. They smile at your misery. poor old chap! They are amused at your glowering face. They watch you, but they never protest. No- body is obliged to go to the theatre. It is supposed to be a luxury, and not a necessity. That the French manager knows. The system would not last in New York for one hour. The French playhouse itself would be impossible in our midst.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30
WISDOM OF A WOMAN

From the Atchison Globe.
 A wise woman once said that there were three follies of men which all ways amused her. The first was climb ing trees to shake tho fruit down, when, if they would wait long enough, the fruit would fall itself The second was going to war to kill each other. when, If they only waited, they would die naturally. and the third was that they should run after women. when, if they did not do so. the women would be sure to run after them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30

THAT HOBBLE. Miss Bessie Priscilla Van Wirt Bought new hobble kind of a skirt Getting off a street car She stepped short by far And landed kerfiop in the dirt.
 Youngstown Telegram. Now down in New York it is higher On Miss Susie de Chorus> Von Meyer It is right round her knee So, therefore, you see She never will trip in the mire
 St. Louis Times, Salome McFadden. Podunk, Though her dancing is daring and punk Has no fear that her skirt Will be trailed in the dirt, It can't, for it's home in her trunk.
 Houston Post. And Gerty McSplash, who's a peach" And startles all eyes on the beach, Is in the same fix, For her garments are nix And her bathing suits simply a ''screech."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30
REFLECTIONS OF A BAcHELoF

From the New York Press
 A child thinks his parents beat him be- cause they deserve it themselves
 The only objection to virtues is how dull they make people, but it's enough
 A man will hunt the world over for money; he expects religion to find him.
 girl never trusts canoe, but she can make any man believe she does be- cause he's managing 1t.
 No matter how suspicious q woman Is aoout all other womens figures, she could never make herself believe any body would be suspicious about hera
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30
THE BOYs' BANNER

The Boys Banner, published by the class in printing at the Boys Industrial school, Is highly creditable and comes forth every. week in attractive guise. The typographical work is especially pleasing and artistic. The Banner is edited by James '. Kennybrook. who is instructor in printing st tho aehool-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30
ORIGIN OF ELKs

ORIGIN OF ELkS From .'rhe Story of the Elks' in the
 August Metropolitan.
 Just after the Civil war there was in New York a certain crowd of young men, for the most part connected in one way or another with the dramatic profession, who met in a room every Sunday night and called themselves the Jolly Corks. One gathers from the existing data re- rarding this group that performers in the variety theatres of that day pre- dominated in its membership In a pamphlet issued over the name of one of the charter members of the Elks. the late George w. Thompson, the origin of tho order is described. Having attended a meeting of the Jolly Corks at the invi- tation of one of the regular attendants, he writes:
 II remember we. passed a very enjoy able evening and dispersed with an agree ment to meet on the following Sunday. Brothers Riggs and Mcdonald left me and the latter said: This thing is bet ter than . mere jolly crowd and will one day amount to something"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30

it has been referred to an army board of engineers for final consideration.
 Should 1t happen that the great proj- ect Is put into execution and the opera tions proceed to the crucial point, what an inspiring sight. A thousand blue jackets turning the levers of as many jackscrewsj would quickly demonstrate whether the Maine, responding to their tremendous lifting power, would rise clear of the water and present evidences which would clear up beyond question the mystery of the age-"Who sunk the Maine?"
 And if all goes well and the Maine steams away from the tragic spot in Ha- vana harbor, bound for Hampton Roads or New York bay what national dem onstration of joy and satisfaction her homecoming will witness!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Exum Discusses Cotton situation

 culpepper Exum. mayor-elect of Bir- mingha9i, who returned from New York yesterday said he did not believe the cot ton business relations between the Eng fish buyers. New York bankers and the southern people would be affected by re- cent cotton failures In this state and the south,
 MT. Exum stated yesterday that he con- ferred with several leading New York bankers in regard to the cotton situation and gave as his opinion that long stand ing relations will not suffer to any great extent by the unfortunate failures in this country.
 I believe that the cotton movements this fall will be just the same as in the past said MT. Exum. 'I do not think that the relations existing between the southern people and English buyers for half century will go to smash just because some people have done wrong and forged some documents which created the great outcry.
 There may be few technical changes, but the bills of lading now used will be retained and every business rule of the past will apply this fall and in the fu- ture."
 Mir. Exum stated in addition that the responded to his views readily and agreed that the cotton situation will not be dis turbed by recent failures.
 MT. Exum said he was very much inn proved by his vacation.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30

Contributing Editor T. R. finds time to satisfy the copy desk and yet no one can discover any gaps in his tide of callers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30

If any one sees crinpen he should at once notify the London police. who are ur in the air.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30

The fhobble skirt may be seen on the Great White Way. but 1t cannot be seen down this way. The police do not regard 1t favorably.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30

Nicholas Longworth was handicapped in Ohio by a father-in-law or by some thing else. for he polled but few votes in the convention.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30

Judge Kincade of Ohio declined to take or forlorn hope. That hope went to a rural editor whose name is Harding.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30

French women are coming over to teach AmericaE women how to fly. The Wright brothers have no coeds in their aviation schools.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30

Texas would not be Texas if she should adopt statewide prohibition.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30

President Taft practices what he pr caches about long vacations.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30

The free and unlimited coinage of bath tubs may become an issue in the fall campaign.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30

The Tennessee farmers are getting rich by selling their rail fences of red cedar to the lead pencil factories.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30
Plea.ant summer Climate

Birmingham is pleasant in summer when compared with New York and Chi- cago," said John w. Wade, president of the Howell Cotton company.
 T have been speDding some time in the east and meyer saw people suffer so much from hat as the citizens of New York have been suffering, And have never felt the heat in Birmingham as I felt it in the east while on my recent trip The prevaIent idea north of us Is that the farthsv south one Goes tho
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
Who Ia pr. Eayes.

I read with great interest an article in your last Sundays paper entitled, Whipping Poor Will" by George Eaves, D. D. This article, which is one of the finest and most scholarly I've read in years, gives rise to a desire in me to learn something of Dr. Eaves Would you kindly, therefore, tell me who Dr. Eaves is and where he resides l en- close postage for reply and will thank you very much for any information.
 Yours truly,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30

A Missouri man boasts he has not taken bath in 20 years, and none of his neigh bors desire to be shown.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30

The good old summer times covers al present the entire country.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30

The prophet who foresees a financial panic should take vacation. His nerves or his grouch needs a rest.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30

The republicans of Ohio would be all right if they could outflank Governor Harmon. This they cannot do.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30
NEW PAAN FOR RAISING MAINE Nrror the Washington Post.


 Going back to the building of the Pyra mids for Aspiration in devising g way to raise the Maine Is sad commentary on the boasted inventive genius of the mod ern. Hydraulic engineers having prac- tically abandoned the idea of raising the Maine by means at their command, a bridge and tunnel engineer who has been successful in solving problems in dynamics comes forward with a plan differing widely from any which has been tried and found wanting. Not only does he propose to bring the Maine to the surface. but to repair it over the spot where 1t has lain for l2 years, and bring the warship home under its own steam.
 Submitted to General Oliver, acting sec rotary of var, and General Dixby. chief of engineers. for inspection, the plan % impressed these eminent o6icers that
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30

Diaz exacts large sums when he releases any of his political opponents from jail.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30

Grade crossings, however deadly or ex- asperating. cannot be abolished until via ducts are built.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30

Scotland Yard is sending "C. O. D. messages to all the world in the pr. Grip pen case
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30

The calling together of the Taft cabinet will be no easy task next month.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30

more oppressive the heat becomes. But those of us who live in this climate know from experience that we arc far more scomfortable in summer than ure our friends of New York. Boston and Chi cago'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30
The Census Returns

tcomparatively few census bulletins have been issued" said James F. Par sons of Washington. D. C., but of the smaller class of cities whose population figures have been announced the gains over 1900 have as rule been satis- factory.
 While the enumerators were at work there WAS great complaint in many com munities that a full count was not being made, due chiefly to the lack of co-opera- tion on the part of boarding housekeep- CTS; but when all the returns are made up and results announced I think there will be little cause for kicks.
 Taking the census is a big task, and I know the men connected with the cen- sus bureau are of the opinion that the count has been made with great care. Beginning with August the census bulle- tins will come out in rapid succession, and by September few cities will be left on the anxious bench"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30
H. S. Graves in City

Howard s. Graves of Atlanta formerly clerk at the Hotel Hilman of this city is here for a few days visiting relatives and friends. MT. Graves has been chief clerk at the Kimball hotel in Atlanta for over a year.
 Birmingham seems to be growing rap idly" said MT. Graves yesterday. T have been away about IS months now, and as this is my first visit since that time can tell easily how fast everything seems to be going The streets are much wider and better than Atlanta, and that adds to the attractiveness of this city. I am very much pleased with Atlanta, but no city can take the place of Birmingham In my estimation. Having lived here for several years have witnessed the citys growth and am proud of having been here during the progressive period. Birming- ham has Atlanta sidetracked on several matters, and seems to be going forward as rapidly as one could wish for"
 MT. Graves said he was still engaged in roofing for the Birmingham baseball team, and every time the players visit At lanta he goes out to lend his voice to their efforts He is perhaps one of the best known ball fans of this league.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30
IN "SUNNY sPAINc

Kermit ha sat any rate taken himself out of the spotlight
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30

A LAZY FELLOW. To dream of "idleness in groves Ely
 sian Let low-brows mock my mood with coarse
 derision- Is better far than toiling through the
 summer, When every day is something of hum
 mer, And people sweat-perspire. their faces
 dripping, And seem not in the least prepared for
 skipping Along life's way. say. to sit apart and dream, While others do the work and fret
 and steam, Day after day, is quite a pleasant
 thought And keeps a chap from being over
 wrought, For Care and Worry, twins on evil bent. When once they clutch, are tardy to re- lenti
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30
About a Mudhole

T would like to know what steps I should take to get about 20 minutes work done on the street in front of my house" said resident of the South Highlands last night.
 For several weeks there has been an ugly mudhole within a hundred feet of South Twentieth street-20l4 Humboldt avenue, to be specihc-and 1t does not dry up even in the hottest weather Realiz- ing that 1t Is a menace to the health of the whole neighborhood because 1t is breeding place for all kinds of germs, I took the matter up with the health department. The sanitary inspector noti fled me later that he had had the place examined and found in badly in need of attention. He said he had turned over a report on the place to the street de- partment
 "All this referring may be in accord ance with the requirements of various city departments, but what I should like to know Is how can get that mudhole fixed. I have thought about hiring a man to do it, but suppose we should both be arrested for disturbing the grade of the street. It looks to me like l am up against It. <"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30

The crippen case still hllds It's own or the first page.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30

EFFECT OF THE WIZ These are the days when @ are willing, &z These are the days when are glun %zz7= E These are the days when 11<N ' no Hitting n#
 Heard from the bards. MI M |hpid and dumb. <s. *zz& These are the days when i1I Tered On the doorstep where in the sun; zZ=z These are the days Wh6~& s are shivered # #z And our best friend Is a. {-6<gun! T understand Tupper nH1 X town yesterday <
 50 he was. He spe1 " -on the hundredth floor of 2z1EI j6raper"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30
overworIxine . City Horse


 Men who do not practice what they preach said citizen last night. "al- ways make me feel as though wanted to fight with somebody Our city officials in all their learning and wisdom sit down and pass a lot of ordinances which amount to nothing and blink their eyes in absentmindednes when city employe drives a horse to death after working him night and day.
 "A negro employees of the city named Frank Shafrer, after driving a horse all day on the Highlands, hitched the ani- mai to one of the heavy sprinklers and started to drive him all night. The ans inal was crippled in both front feet and was overcome with the heat tonight, fall ing prostrated to the street in front of Gunn's drug store. The sight was pa thetic in the extreme. but the horse fin- ally got up and was unhitched and taken away. It was suffering terrible aoDnies, and the driver himself said that It had worked all day on the hills of the South Highlands and they had intended to work 1t all night
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30
smart Inquiry for Iron

While pig iron is still low and the mar ket is quiet, an improvement is looked for at an early date. Matthew, Addy & Co., 8 report for the current week says:
 ..The market Is not without it's encour- aging features in spite of the prevail ing low prices, which in many cases mean that the furnaces have to figure closely to get a new dollar in exchange for an old one. We ind that all our coke contracts have the maximum shipments ordered on them. And there is de- mand for prompt shipment of coke that is hard to meet. This means that the coke Is needed and that it Is being used. It also means that iron Is being melted at great rate. There is no asurer barometer of the use of iron than the demand for coke, for coke is used up at once and is never accumulated, as is the case with iron.
 "As indicating belief that iron Is as low as 1t can go 1t is to be noted that there is now smart inquiry for shipment over the first half of 1911. It is difficult to induce furnaces to quote for this long forward shipment except at a decided advance over current prices. Then there has been a heavy inquiry from speculators who wish to buy and hold for an advance.
 ''This week has been moderately active with fair sales and an indubitable in- crease in inquiry. Prices have quite a range and there is much pressure to sell, but producers are trying for as prompt deliveries as possible.
 There are many well posted men in the trade who believe the worst of the storm Is over.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30
EASY STREET.

EASY STREET. "ls he man of pleasing address?" You bet, I'd like to live where he does"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30
CAUSE FOR GRArIJLAT1oN

CAUSE FOR COMPUTATION. What makes Pipps so pleased with himself?"
 He has never read one of Roosevelt's books.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

TWAS EVER THU No use 10 let the water run4 E Can't drown it with his sin The while he bathes poor Tf Still hears that door-bell ri1
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30
QUICK ACTION

QUICK ACTON Are you afraid of germs on moneyT' Not any more so than I would be afraid of going through plague,ridden city at the rate of hundred miles an hour"
 T don't catch your meaning" Tn either case. the time of exposure to danger would be very brief.'
 THE OLD REPRoBATE Although 'tis warm, 1t never gets Too hot for him to go And swelter through the follies of girly-girly show.
 TOO MUCH PANToMIME Miss Hishbrow doesn't care for n,ov- g-picture plays And why not?' They don't give her chance to criti- else the actors pronunciation"
 EASY JOB Why don't you go to work?" Work Is terrible thing" Isn't there any Job you would like to have?"
 Well, I wouldn't mind being the jam itor of a castle in the air."
 SOON EXPLAINED Doesn't Spoutts like to talk, though?' Indeed he does" T wonder why he never gets tiredg' That's because he never listens to himself.'
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30
NOT LIKE JEFF

NOT LIKE JEFF, T see where graft has been dealt a death blow" "Ah, but 1t can come back.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30
MADE HIM sEAsIz1i

MADE HIM SEASI&W And why don't you like fh& T They have a habit that h1I 6 verely condemned"
 And what may that be1, They rock the boat"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30
TIT FOR TAT.

T T was crazy to marry you" That's what you said when you pre posed
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-07-30
About Persons

education. was in Birmingham yester- day.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-05-02

stand BY the term, tariff commission
It viii be given authority to make an
investigation into the difference IN the
cost Of production at home and abroad,
and, If the plans now in mind are car
ried out, the information 1t Procures
viii be for the use, not only of tAe
President and the Administration, l'zt
OF Congress
One most important point viii prub-
ably arise in tie consideration Of the
question of clothing the tariff board
with the powers of a tariff commission
That win relate TO whether the COM
mission shall be given the requisite au-
thority TO send for persons and papers
and administer Oaths.
A prospect not at all remote Is pre-
scented of the commission being given
authority IN general terms to investi-
gate the cost Of production at home and
abroad, but being left without power
to conduct examinations under oath OF
course the commission could not be
given inqulsitoTial powers with respect
to examinations out Of the jurisdiction
of the United States A German manu-
facturer. for example, could not be eK-
amined under oath But so far as this
country Is concerned, the commission
can be clothed with the necessary power
to make its examination mean some
thing
It VIII be a step Of doubtful value #
the commission Is not enabled to OBJ
tain facts In the United States under
oath and Is not empowered TO send for
documentary evidence and subpoena
witnesses Even then, 1t viii be hard
enough work getting to the bottom OF
the production question
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-05-02
MUSEUM TO GET
ANCIENT CHIMES
New Yorker Makes Interest
ing Find In Cave In
Honduras.

FAN FRANCISCO. Nay "A passen-
Sc Of the steamer san Jose arriving
ba,e from Central America. was And
rev H BIackiston. a NJ York sclen-
tiz1- rho reports the discovery IN the
Mountains Of Honduras OF q secret cave
N which he found q large number or
conner bells. which were made, he be
Ifeves. centuries ego
The cave is about hfty miles from
PfnIento-
Mt B1ackiston Is taking the bells 20
washington. where he VIII give them
n the National Museum He found IN
s1 about DO bells They range IN size
from, a watch charm TO a set Of small
chimes Some OF them are decorated
with wire work. some are cast In ian
tastfc shapes. and others beaten into
faces and figures. He also found
number Of spear heads, to one OF which
q netrffed handle IS =tlu attached
Among the bells was a large ceremonial
conner mask InIaid with turquoise
Near the cave he found the mine from
~rSfcb the copper OF which the bells
v-a-e made had been taken The mine
cared 10 be very rich, but when ne
IA Of the discovery later It excited
little interest he was told that copper
had little value IN Honduras