davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29
BY YE LOCAL SCRIBE.
Yes. it showed some yesterday.

Yes. It showed some yesterday.
In the Board Of Trades question
box; Why not a merger?
In newspaper parlance. Julius
Goldenberg Is "a live wire" Of Scr
enth street.
If Ad, Merritt doesn't stop grow
ing he VIII be as high as the cost
Of living.
Oscar Ricketts,, dressed in his
best bib and tucker, Thursdayed at
the Capitol.
Dee jay Kaufman Thursdayed in
Baltimore and heard Secretary Ma
gels speech.
Byron s. Adams took a rest from
Il never disappoiut'' and Wednes-
dayed at the automobile show.
Uncle George Gibson and Uncle
Ban Fraser have ordered a suit Of
kilties 10 wear al the Scotch din
ner.
Our contributing colleague. Ernest
g. Walker. being in the clutches Of
the grip, IS not represented in this
issue.
Sam Hart viii never feel himself
until the fishing season opens. Even
if he never catches any FISH it Is a
satisfaction to know that they are
running.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29
Lnst Yenr,s LIterary vintage.

From the Chicago Evening Post.
Who wishes 20 recall the best sellers
They came. they sold, they are forgotten
Men Ike Richard Harding Davis and
Robert ". Chambers have taken their
cash for 1909 and let their credit go. II
they have spread wide, they have spreadly
thinIy. No one remembers now theiT
triumphs Of 1915 or 1867, Their day IS
profitable, but brief, and IN comparison
with more sincere. more realistic more
austere artists, they can expect no com
mendation.
William Allen White IS the only Ane7i-
can whose fiction appears 20 be a genuine
revelation OF life and good art.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29
TruSt-made Powder.

The House Of Representatives has
Vcaued upon the Secretary Of the Navy,
at the instance Of Representative Cox
and upon recommendation. Of the House
Naval Committee, for information as to
whether the department or its Bureau Of
Ordnance has purchased during the past
year powder for service use from a
trust"
The information will presumably, be
eminently satisfactory 10 those members
Of Congress who desire the country to
be properly thrilled and the Navy Depart
ment sufficiently embarrassed by the dis
closure. in the form of an admission. that
the navy last year acquired no less than
100000 pounds Of powder from "a cor
poration having a monopoly Of the manu-
facture and supply Of gunpowder in the
United States" Such a corporation may
or may not be a "trust'-it all depends
upon what the court decides. But even If
it turns out, by virtue of judicial deter
mination, that the source Of naval powder
straint Of trade, it is apt to give no sat
isfaction 10 the critics in the end. The
clause which prohibited the use OF naval
appropriations for the purchase of powder
Of a trust contained the proviso that the
transaction was permissible in the event
Of extraordinary emergency"
The Identification OF an Extraordinary
emergency depends upon very elastic
definition of the term. When 1t is consid-
cred that the only source Of acceptable
powder is a company which maintains at
considerable expense several powder mag
azines IN different parts Of the country,
and the Navy Department must purchase
its powder from that source or go with
out, 1t is probable that the naval au-
thorities. and especially such e law-abid-
ing official as Rear Admiral n. E. Mason.
Chief or Ordnance Of the navy. will be
able TO show in an entirely generating
fashion that the absence of powder for
the regular practice and for a reserve
stock constitutes q veritaB1e emergency. II
would not seem to make much difference
in the situation whether the powder max
ers have formed a trust or not so long
as it is only from that organization that
naval ammunition may be acquired
Moreover, it is no secret that the naval
Ordnance Bureau is purchasing its powder
from the powder trust" The hearings
before the Naval committees of Congress
and the annual reports of the Secretary
OF the Navy and the Chief Of Ordnance
give all the facts in a perfectly candid
and complete manner. leaving little or
nothing which the House resolution can
extract from those sources of information.
1t will probably be made known, Incl
aentally, that the Navy Department was
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29
TODAY TO-DAY IN HISH0RAFEszHszz
FIRST IN WAR; FIRST IN PEACE, FIRST IN THE HEARTS OF
HIS CoUNTRYMEN" JANUARY 90

like the Assyran that came down as a
wolf on the plain he surprised the
British garrison at Paulus Hook For
this gallant action he was voted a gold
medal by Congress. In Gen. Greene's
famous retreat through North Carolina
In 1881, Lees Legion covered the retreat
Of the patriot army, and at Guilford
Court House, Eutaw Springs. and other
points the son Of the "Lowland Beauty, q"
as George Washington described his
mother, was in the thick Of the fight.
When peace came Lee was not forgot
ten by the public whose freedom his
good sword had helped TO win, and we
find him a trusted delegate 10 the Con-
tinental Congress- and in other high
positions in the gift OF a grateful people.
Washington. while President, trusted
him implicitly. and during the threaten
ing crisis. known as the Whisky Insur-
rection." he put Lee in command of the
1900 men raised to quell the insurgents
It may be interesting TO note that this
Henry Lee was the father Of that other
soldier. whose bronze effigy was but re-
Gently set up In Statuary Hall, under
the great dome of the Capitol al Washing
ton-Robert Z. Lee. commander OF the
Army of Northern Virginia
rthday Of the late lamented William
BID. Albert Gallatin O761), and in Eng
g OF the Victoria Cross, So much coveted
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29
MEN EASY" FOR SHOE CLERK
Little Trouble 10 Fool Them by
Changing Size Marks.

Changing Size Marks.
From the New York Telegraph.
A Broadway shoe dealer. expounding a
pet theory. offers the following proof that
mans conception Of happiness and con-
tentment depends largely on the state Of
his imagination.
a short time ago" he explained, zone
or my best customers came In and asked
for a pair Of shoes II happened that I
had in stock at the time the exact thing
the customer called for. and, everything
considered. It looked as II I would make
a quick sale. However. despite the fact
that 10 me the style and flt OF the shoes
were perfect, the customer, upon stand
ing up. declared that they were too tight
and that he wanted the same thing a
half size larger.
Now I was absolutely convinced
that the shoes, which were size S. were
large enough. and, not having on hand
a pair OF 81. I decided to test a theory OF
mine regarding the relation Of the I'm
aglnatlon TO contentment Taking the
shoes 10 the rear OF tbs store. I picked
up stamp and next 20 the figure S
affixed the fraction y. Returning 10 the
prospective purchaser with the identical
Pair % shoes that he had had on. quickly
laced them UP for the second time, asking
him how that pair felt After a few
steps up and down the room he ex-
claimed. immensely pieasead:
Now. these feel something Ike It.
they're just the thing
And" supplemented the shoe man.
"can you imagine selling a woman a pair
OF shoes By convincing her that they
were a size larger than they really were?'
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29
Experimental Farms.

The New York Central Railroad will
follow the example Of the Pennsylvania in
conducting experimental farms. The pres
ident, ". C. Brown. wishes 10 stimulate
agriculture in New York State. III an
address TO the students Of Cornell Uni
versity, he announced that his company
would buy several abandoned farms and
that he would ask President Schurman for
men TO run them. That policy should
have the effect OF promoting interest in
farming and Of encouraging efficiency Of
method. DR.. SchuTman states that at the
present rate OF increase in attendance the
college Of agriculture will have 2,100 regu-
lar students within ten years ard 100
shOrt-course students All Of which Is
another evidence Of the waxing growth Of
agriculture as an industry in economic
response TO the higher prices Of fcodstuffs
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29

Up yOnder at Washington there is
room for a funny man. The President
has TO night Mr.. Roosevelt for dear life,
and yet insists that he is carrying out the
Roosevelt policies and firing the Roose-
veit men to do It. Then, when Mr. Pin
chot is fired, the President insists that
the Pinchot ideas be enacted into law
That set Of ideas ought to furnish a
scheme for comic opera" says the
Birmingham Ledger. It certainly ought.
Where did you get that set Of Ideas"
anyway?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29
AMONG THE PUBLISHERS
By D. GRAHAM PHILEIPsl

(By D. GRAHAM PHILLIPS.l
What's a postal deficit tEixt
friends, anyway
Samuel G. Blythe chaperonsd Cy-
rus Curtis. whom we had with US
/ last night.
Il is rImored that John s. Phil
lips has a date with Clifford Pinchot
at 10 a, II, to-day,
Edward T. Higgins viii to-day pay
his respects 10 Uncle joe Cannon.
He has done IL before.
Charles Scribner wants To meet the
Congressman who favors a day IN
January for inauguration.
F. {. J. Tessaro sure does know
how 10 pull of a swell feast, And
he didn't slight this uplift sheet,
John A. Schleicher. Of Leslie
Judge. is one e the agreeable visi-
tors in our midst Welcome, ]. A!
DR.. Albert shaw and Hon. Albert
J. Beveridga had a conference on
Indiana politics. The doctor is a
shreWd adviser.
William B. Rowland Is credited
with designs on oar felloW-towns-
man, W, II, T., when T. Rs CON
tract runs out. Look out for high
| bidding.
Walter Page ought 20 hear the
hum Of the typewriting machines in
the Forest Service, if World S
WORK needs any new inspiration.
Eman J. Ridgway improved the
/ opportunity 10 dicker with Capt
Archibald Butt for an article on
Washington Society. Z. ]. has an
eye to business
S. s. Mcclure came over chiefly,
he tells Us, 10 inspect Hoosierd0m' 5
latest contribution TO Statuary Han.
S. 5. is a loyaf son Of the novel
| producing State.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29
EVERY SATURDAY.
Our Motto: Hyou see il in The Big
Std, IL ism I necessarily 50.
THE AUTOMOBILE SHOW

Prom Col. Cliff Long on down 70
the humblest runabout in Conyen-
ton Han. the automobile show has
been a large and enthusiastic sue
cess.
Il is estimated that the attend.
auce will total 5000 approximately.
That Is fine. # every person who
attended the show. therefore, should
purchase one $500 autOmobile-and
we hope they will-the automobile
buSi-ess would be helped along i'm
mediately 10 the tune Of some SD
OO0.G00. not TO mention the subse'
quent billions 10 come IN the way
Of repair bills and upkeep! This
is a hypothetical financial outloob
not TO be neezed at. even b. auto
mobile bsrons. say We!
Let us have more automobile
shows. and may each and every one
be better than the one before! That
IS The Big Sticks slogan!
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29
TWO CENTS
AUTOLIGHTS.

Morton VI. Little wont notice his
friends since he has bought a new
Ford touring car
Louis Gartha did not 80 to the
auto show fer fear he would buy az
electric runabout for two.
Billy jose has had a lovely tine
a. the show, but his nights are
very unsatisfactory.
Joe Stoddard looks with envy on
the army balloon No. 10. He Will
need IL after this strenuous week.
John r. Thomas never saw 50
much Il The long green as has
passed through his hands this week.
Fred Dieterich would buy g car
II they were equipped with a hy-
dFsuic rsus TO lift him into the
1 seat,
! &. Z. Glenn has had so much
trouble with his so-Called auJo that
he viii build himself az aeTcp.an6
for daily use.
VIII West would rather examine
the parts q a touring car than have
the Job Of his former partner. Com
missioner Rudolph.
Les. Moore says the music Il Ha-
| ley's orchestra is fine. but no music
sounds 50 sweet to him as the h0nk-
hOnk Of the auto horn.
Before the next automobile show.
" Cliff Long is determined % learn
how TO DIVE a car. He is not halt
as timid as he was prior 20 this
week.
Ike Cans looked over the whois
exhibition, but there was no car
that Just suited him in regard 10
color. He prefers creme de mentAe
green.
Johnny Lsrcombe wishes the thing
would keep up forever. The spot
hght has an attraction for him and
be has been in the center Of 1t for
six days.
Brownie" Spencer viii coin a
I new VOID for chassis. He GETS
| twisted trying 70 pronounce the
word and then he cannot find out
its plural.
H. Chadwick Hunter intended %
make a flight in an aeroplane ri
! day night, but the motor was IN
rily and the immense audience was
disappointed.
sam Luttren can stand for almost
/ anything, but when a visitor asks
him whether his brand If auto can
fiy, he draws the line, and a straight
one at that.
Bushrod Washington Is practicing
a ditty entitled, After the Show
Is Over" His first appearance IN
! public viii be IN BTookland. d. c.,
at a church festival.
When a friend asked Uncle Dave
Kaufman to step over and look az
a limousine. he said: I won't even
look at a product az the STANDARD
| OIL Company. No gasoline, ben
zine. or any old "ine' for Uncls
| Dayey."
Not a dissenting voice was heard
when IL was said that the auto
agents looked Just too cute for any
! thing society" night. When they
were lined up, legged cut in tuyedoS,
they looked Ike a well-orgauized
! minstrel show without the black
/ faces.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29

able to obtain its 100000 pounds OF pow
der at g cents a pound. or I cent less
than the price fixed by law as a reason
able figure at which powder might be
purchased under contract with legitimate
profit to the maker.
Surely It cannot be that the critics
of the Navy Department or the enemies of
combinations in restraint OF trade would
require the navy to so without powder
rather than purchase that necessary
munition of war from fits monopolistic
source.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29
A BOYCOTTER'S DREAM
CBy EDWARD BOX.

10y EDN AMI Dun
l have gene q whole week without
mutton
And sparUrbs and sausage and roast.
And ham I've eschewed it till
April:
I've even cut out quail on toast
I've huad up on rice and potatoes,
On parsnips served swimming in
cream
But last night. as l lay Oh my Pill
lOw,
Oh, I dreamed such a beautiful
dream!
l thought that / dwelt on an island
Far cut in a summary sea,
And everything growing upon It
Was growing expressly for me.
There we're hedges Of wienerwurst
lovely,
And tangles Of hamburger vine;
There were bushes a-gToaning with
p0rk-ch0ps,
And trees full Of tripe fresh and
sns
The house that lived in was fash
toned
OF drum-sticks-a thousand or two
While under my window was flowing
A broOklet of hot chicken stew.
And out by my barn in the meadow
a sapling grew slender and high;
And up in the forks If that sapling
Was nestled a nice beefstesk pie.
The walks were all b0rdered With
SOup-h0ues.
The fountain ran wild with beef tea.
While scattered all over the land.
sCape
Were hash-balls and giblets-oh,
gee
There never was such prOfusiOn
OF toOthsome and good things to eat
Wherever YOU looked, On your vision
Dawred dainties all made up OF
meat
But, alas, soon my dreaming was
over:
Too short was ny revel hy far.
I awcke from good things as they
might be
To the sadness Of things as they
are.
I ordered breakfast non-meatfuI-
Sweet bells tangled all out Of tune
And ate half a pound Of dry scrape
nuts,
One banana. one pickle, one prune
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29

Glad TO see you, gentlemen" says the
Charleston News and Courier, addressing
the South Carolina legislature. just as
sembled. This is quite as cordial. we
suspect. as will be'Alr. Jeffries' handshake
when he ambles to the center of the ring
presently for the purpose of arguing the
matter with Prof. Johnson.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
VARYING MOODS.

To me the radiator seems
Almost a thing OF life
even picture 1t in dreams
AS rushing to the strife
Just like q giant in coat Of mail
It hammers, thumps. and swipes,
Until / wonder what can all
The radiator pipes.
Anon its angry humor stops,
1t croons and murmurs low.
The melancholy tears II drops
Bear witness to its woe.
The plumber comes and works away
Its scalding tears he wipes,
But cannot still the mournfui lay
The radiator pipes.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29
A MOVABLE FEAST.

She has a bisclit-colored hat,
With plumes 4 olive green.
Beneath the mushroom crown 50 fat
A bunch Of cherries may be seen.
It's peTched upon her chestnut hair
Above her shrmppink gown.
AID from her little neck so fair
4 chain Of oyster pearls hangs down
Her coat is made cf Persian lamb,
And fru-s are all the style.
She doesn't mind at all the Jam"
Because she's got EN- beat a mile
And scallops. points Of every size
Go floating round her feet
When she goes mincing down the street
she looks Just good enough 20 eat
NJ. T. Purse, In HaTper's Weekly.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29
A WORD TO THE WISE

What's Willis l.. Moore got
against this town anyway?
Dent be know that e gives the
magazine publishers a bad impres-
sion to have such a brand Of weather
dealt out when they visit this burg
en- masSel
Willis'll get muck-rsked if he don't
watch out.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29

I'VE should like 70 have Congress sub
nit the Ballinger-Pinchot data to Copen-
hagen, and go on about its business. -
says the Minneapolis Journal. But, nee
essarily. we should have TO first catch
our Copenhagen-hegging pardon for the
split infnitive, OF course.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29

Secretary Wilson has discovered that
many strictly fresh country eggs" are
more than ten months old. In order TO
be sure that you are not disrespectful
TO old age, perhaps II would be advisable
to lift your hat courteously 10 all the
eggs YOU meet.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29
Brief Bits.

A kimono is the correct thing in wrap
pers
Repartee is the other fellows coarse
idea OF VIII.
Few men can lay a corner stone with
out cackling about Il.
Some Of the department stores are CIV
ing free vaudeville. but this Is no bid for
remnant Jokes.
Nearly every boy takes a whack at sell
ling papers for a few days. thus qualify
ing as self-made man.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29
Only Once.

From the Kansas City Journal
How often does your road kill man?''
asked a facetlous travelling salesman Of
a Central Branch conductor the other day.
Just once" replied the conductor.
sourly-
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29

A number OF worthy citizens are get
ting ready to begin their annual spring
gardening. We hardly suspect this cir
cumstance will strike any additional ter
ror to the heart OF the beef trust, how
ever
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29

The per capita wealth OF the country
has reached an amount that will permit
us 10 have eggs for breakfast" says the
Schenectady Union. The only trifing
circumstance in bar of this delight being
the difficulty Of rounding up the per
capita.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29
Secretary BaIIinger's Mistakes.

From the Philadelphia Press
It might be added however that 81 Secretary
BaIliuger sets himself firmly against publicity and
legitimate exposure and investigation Of public
Affairs by competent writer's he makes grave
mistake In such light the raking Of muck is not
only iustifable. but q mandatory and dignihed en-
ployment.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29
How He Made n Hit.

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"Hinkleys got a wonderful head. All
his women readers are simply wild over
that serial love story he is running in
the Daily stunt"
How did he cliach emp
Why, he printed the last chapter
first"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29
FOOLISH "JEDGE. 81

Philadelphia, Jan. 2S.-Col. Frank
y, Barksdale, who failed in a rash
attempt TO stop an automobile with
his foot, last week, has been dis
charged from the hospital and is
now about. with only a slight limp.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29
Not Exactly Taxable.

From the Kansas City Star.
Here is a story that is being enjoyed
around the Wyandotte County courthouse
a county assessor was making a can
vass for personal tax assessments. lie
called at the homo Of a widow in the
Second ward. and in a polite way said
Madam. ! am the personal tax as
SCISSOR. What have you got?''
I've got two children and the rheuma-
tism." said the widow. and she slammed
the door in his face
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29

Mr. Taft Is said to be utterly indiffer-
ent to another term" Probably Mr.. Taft
has never thought OF it that way, but
such an attitude may stimulate a lot of
people to begin Immediately whooping
things up for bis denomination.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29

Frcnl the Houston Post.
I thought you were going 10 cut out
beef and pork until the trusts had been
forced TO reduce prices?"
IT am; this IS sausage"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29
John d. Feels Safe Again.

From the Kansas City Times.
Among other evidences Of the desuetuds Of the
Roosevelt policies. It was noted in the news dis
patches yesterday that Mr.. Rockefeller regarded il
as safe TO visit his Wall street Office for the first
tins In a year.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29
Mr.. EIkIns and High Prices.

From the Chicago Record Herald.
Senator Elkins. Of West Virginia says the Repub-
licans must face and settle the problem Of high
prices. There are still some Senators who conseya-
lively refuse 10 admit that prices are high.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29

The courts OF this country continue TO
ter OF showing occasional citizens how
to turn loose uncomfortable campaign
libel suits.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29

The wolf should be careful how he
prowls about the doors Of the common
people. Somewhere along the line he
may land in the meat grinder and come
out sausage.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29
senator Roots Admission.

From the Springfield Republican.
The striking feature Of Senator Roots speech TO
the New York Republican delegation In Congress
was his admission that the Republican party Of the
Empire State Is dcmOralized
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29
That Would Help.

so you want to become a frst-class
stenographer?"
y do. Does Il take long?"
"AU depends Do you know how %
spell 10 start WITH
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29

The exquisite agony hunger sometimes
induces may be realized in contemplation
of sad event out in Iowa involving
a ravenous person and the robbery of a
limberger cheese mandatory.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29
Republican and Democrat.

Frum The Houston Post.
yil!ainous Republican newspaper says that IN
the case Of Bryan absence makes the heart grow
fonder. It would have been far nobler 70 have as
serted that in the case OF Roosevelt distance lends
snchantmnt 10 the view.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29

We have II straight from those we'll
known authorities, R. Abbit and r.
Ooster, that the Easter egg crop this
year will be extremely short, II not an
utter failure
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-29

a Texas man has traded 10000 acres
OF land for 10000 gallons Of whisky"
says the Chicago Post Presumably. that
was all the whisky the party OF the
second part had TO trade