The Holbrook news., 1910-02-04

Il Bess-That's a quaint ring you're
 wearing. Is 1t an heirloom? Tess
 Well, it dates from the Conquest- Cleveland Leader.
 Tramp Say, mister. I haven't had . bite all day. Dejected Angler Same here. Where did you fsh?- Boston Transcript.
 Where is Hong Kong. John? asked teacher. T don't know, sir" answer ed John. "I think he was in China last time heard"
 When John had small piece of pie put on his plate he grumbled: q wish cook wouldn't put so much short ening in this pastry"
 My doll is very sick" said Dottie, mournfully. Yes" said her chum Polly, she does look waxy You ought to have her waxinated"
 What did you say last night when Jack asked you to marry him?" T shook my head" Sideways or up and down?"-Boston Transcript
 Women have gained fame despite the men!" shouted the sharp-featured sufragette. Yes, for untold ages," replied the mere meek man.-Judge.
 "Oh, mamma" exclaimed Dottie, running in from the garden, where she saw robin redbreast for the first time. ''come and look at this sparrow with red flannel shirt on.'
 She after a long silence-Did l l xrfh f,Il Why. no. She (with a yawn)-Oh. excuse me, I thought you dropped q remark.-Baltimore American.
 Her-Yes, he used to take me to the theater and send me flowers and can dy. Him-What did you do to him to make him quit it. Her-Oh. went and married himl-Cleveland Leader
 "But, Willie," said the bad boy's mother, didn't your conscience tell you that you were doing wrong% ~Yes'm," replied Willie, but you know you told me not to believe everything I hear"
 Medium (after the seance)-Can any one tell how spirits could have got in- to the room and moved the furniture when all the doors were locked? Bright Boy (raising his hand)-With skele- ton keys.
 An old gentleman was playing with his little granddaughter one day. when she noticed that most of his hair was missing. Grandpa" she queried earnestly. why don't you wear a switch?"
 But I don't see that you need be so heart-broken because Mabel Fly away has tilted you" Tt isn't the iilting I mind, but she returned the ring in a parcel marked Glass. With care'.'-Exchange
 First Guest-Won't you join me in requesting young Squalls to recite? tions First Guest-Neither do I. But If the young beggar doesn't recite he'll sing-New York Globe
 'Pa," said John, the other day. T planted some potatoes last summer, and what do you think came up?" Potatoes, of course," answered Pa. "Nup," said John. There came up drove of pigs and ate them all"
 Ma" cried Dot, my button-shoes are hurting me-" Why, child, no wonder" exclaimed Ma; you put them on the wrong feet!" Dot looked puzzled; then said: What will do, ma? They are all the feet I got.'
 T can't do this example," pouted John. You can do anything you want to do," replied his pa. Even water may be carried in a sieve. if you only wait" How long must waltz" ask ed John. Till it freezes" coolly an- swered Pa.
 "John," she said, don't you think this talk about trial marriages is just horrid?" "Oh, l dunno" Why. you don't believe in them yourself. do you?" Have to. If there's any mar riage that ain't trial. you just show me. e."-Philadel2hia Ledger.
 Young Lady-Give me one yard of why, haven't l seen you before? Draper's Assistant-Oh, Maud. have you forgotten me? l saved your life at the seaside last summer. Young Lady (warmly)-Why, of course you did. Then you may give me two yards of the ribbon. please.
 One day Elsie's mother sent her to hnd switch with which to chastise her little brother. who had been teas Ing her. After time she returned with a dozen or more pebbles in her apron. T couldn't find any switch. she explained, but you can throw these rocks at him.
 Have you ever noticed" began the bald gentleman, who liked to enter ain the people gathered in his corner ,f the hotel piazza, that little men marry large women?" Tt nay be so," murmured a mild-eyed | ,l..