The Ordway new era., 1910-02-18
Doing Things
Differently


existence doubtless would be much
smoother for them. Also for others.
1t principally is others who rebel
against the Criswells' cheerfully &C.
centric method of conducting them
selves. their household and their af-
fairs in general, because when things
go wrong the Criswells are never
bothered nor upset. having a childlike
and joyous interest In whatever Is un-
usual.
When a couple who have been mar
ried eight years get energetic enough
to go to q ball the usual method Of
procedure after the dance Ia over II
for the masculine member to yawn.
mutter wearily that he has to get up
at seven in the morning Just the same
and why the dickens doesn't the taxi
get them home faster-while his wife
says her head aches and somebody
else's gown was far prettier than hers
and oh. my. but she is sleepy!
Not the Criswells. however! When
they reached their home shelter at
two O'Clock the other morning after
dancing since nine they surveyed ono
another meditatively.
I'm starved" said Mrs. Criswell.
Som l." agreed Criswell.
With one accord they made for the
kitchen. When the light was switched
on and disclosed a disguised and
startled mouse scurrying wildly for
shelter Mrs. Criswell did not faint.
Both she and her husband gurgled
joyously. She grabbed q broom. Girls.
well seized the poker.
Probably there Is some costume ap-
propriate for the pastime Of killing
mice. but whatever It may be It assured
ly is not trailing lavender satin and
brand new dress suit. Still. the con.
sciousness that they were inappropri-
ately clothed had no deterring effect
on the Criswells. A boiler factory in
full action was the only thing that
possibly could have made more noise
than did they with broom. poker. over.
turned chairs and falling dishpans.
Finally. the intruder was dis
patched and swept outdoors. the Girls
wells repaired personal damages and
once more attempted q frugal lunch.
They got II with some minor mishaps.
Criswell knocked over . jar OF pre-
serves and his wife in pulling out the
silver drawer p.illed It too far. spillins
peck or 80 Of table implements all
over the hardwood floor. Still. they
laughed so much that their troubles
more than paid for themselves.
Just as Criswell pushed his chair
back from the table point Of light
glittered At him from tho library.
Diving toward Il, he quickly emerged
with large toy engine In his hands.
ELMER" said his wife. II hate to
appesr inauisitive-but would you
mind falling me II you have quite lost
your senses! Have you stili At this
hour Of the night such an Unsuitable
thirst for amusement that you have TO
fall back on Tommy's toy engine?
Isn't dinner party. . dance. mouse
killing bee-and . supper enough"
That's all right. Minnie" said
criswell. soothinGly. you know
you're Just A. crazy over this fool
thing as ] am and it's never worked
right since Tommy got II Christmas-
and I don't know Of better time to
fx ~"
The engine was an affair run BY
gas. 10 the Criswells with much labor
got It attached to the gas fixture.
Then on hands and knees they
watched Il plunge madly across the
hardwood floor. chussinE In q very
business-like manner. Il was while
they we're thus occupied that . noise
them. Raising their heads
from their absorbing occupation they
saw enter what Mrs. Criswell after.
ward said was the biggest policeman
she had ever In all her life behsld. Bs-
hind was . policeman still biEser.
who IN turn was traiied by the biggest
policeman OF all. They regarded the
two persons IN evening sarb with sus.
picion.
"whatchu doin' here?" demanded
the biggest policeman.
Even the Criswells could see how
foolish and inadequate II sounded to
explain that they were running q
child's toy engine at three O'Clock in
the morning. That was why they
we're meek when they had to explain
the mouse.killins in the kitchen and
the crash Of silver in the dinins.room
and why they insisted piteously in.
stead Of wrathfuily that they lived
there and had q right to run toy en-.
gines in the middle Of the night II
they wanted to. It was not I'll Nora
and Mary. the maids. who. reused
from slumber by the weird noises
had telephoned the police
station that there were burglars IN
the house and their employers were
out. peered In tmorously. that the
finally cleared themselves
Of suspicion.
We convinced those policemen
that We weren't burglars" Mrs. Girls.
we'll says, but nothing In a thousand