davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-29

of his own shoes knows that New York
is not an American city.
One effect, however, which the anti
meat campaign has had and will continue
to have in New York Is to make for the
spread of the vegetarian cult. 1t is the
ever has happened. Slews of New York
ers who, even before the anti-meat move
rnent began. voluntarily gave over con-
Stunning meat in individual protest against
the high price thereof, and took to eating
other foods instead, are announcing that
they will not go back to the meat diet
even if the price collapses to nothing at
all. They find that they are better on
without meat The women who have
given up meat are writing letters to the
newspapers, setting forth the important
belief, from the feminine point of view.
that they find themselves to be no only
in better. health but decidedly better
looking since they gave up meat. They
say in these letters that their compilations
have cleared and that their general ap-
pearance has improved vastly. Such
presentation cannot fail to have great
deal of weight with women who patronize
the beauty doctors; and there are liter
ally scores of thousands of such women
in New York. Professional men who have
given the meatless diet a trial declare
that they can do more work and better
work without meat; and there is no lack
of skilled mechanics who make the same
Whatever happens dur
ing the progress of the anti-meat cam
paign, then, 1t is a certainty that the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-29

replace the cumbersome desks and big
chairs, and the chamber will be about
one-third the size 1t Is now. Also, the
cloakrooms will be enlarged until those
men fortunate enough to be in Congress
after the change will have all the facih-
ties of a club, except billiard and pool
tables and a bar.
A RESIDENT of Washington who
travels a great deal was comment
ing. just day or so ago, on the condi-
tions in Paris brought about by the
greatest flood since 1913.
Il will wager" said he. that every
person who has ever been TO Paris. II
only for a flying trip of day or two, is
reading every line that is being printed
about the French capital just now. For
myself, / feel as badly, when | read OF
the flood and Its ravages, as though |
of just the same sort of trouble in Wash
ington. the National Capital. and my
own home.
There is charm about the French
capital that to one who has ever been
there is never dissipated. And when l
think of the city as last saw b, happy,
gay. warm, brightly lighted, its streets
thronged, its shops open and inviting,
and then compare 1t with the picture
the newspaper reports, 1t makes me alb
solutely unhappy. II 1 were a woman
should weep and be glad OF it. l am
hoping that the permanent damage will
not be as bad as Is anticipated. But not
for worlds will 1 go back there until
every trace Of the flood has been re-
moved" IRVING C. NORWOOD.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-29

going to make a comprehensive Inquiry
into the subject, each of these members.
with a little bill in his hand. wants TO
have the credit for the investigation go
to him. so that in the progress ana
result of the probe the papers Will say
the Jones high-price inquiry or the
Smith low-price specific,s or something
of the sort.
The band wagon is one of the most pop
ular vehicles ever operated in this town.
A MEMBER of Congress from Massa-
chusetts had rather embarrassing
experience the other day. He was APP
pointed at the close of the special ses-
sion of Congress, to the Craftsmanship OF
a committee which. while not In the
same slumberous class as ventilation and
acoustics. still hasn't done much to dis
Congresses. But he is ambitious and
energetic and he decided to rejuvenate
the body. have bills referred to it and
send out notices of meeting.
One afternoon, before he had got
around to carrying out his intentions, he
was sitting in his committee ROOM die
tating to his secretary, when a stranger
walked in. He was an ordinary-looking
individual of middle age, who spoke form
ally, and then began to look around.
The chairman kept on debating
you've got a right nice room here"
said the stranger, after a time
THANK you SO much, replied the
chairman. with ice hanging from his
words. rs there anything 1 can do for
you?"
Nothing at all, thank you,'' the stran-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-29
BACK TO BUNKER HILL.
A Letter About the Battle Brings
S42.5O at Auction.
From the New York Times.

From the New York Times.
A historical letter about the battle of
Bunker Hill brought $3.50 at auction in
Philadelphia a few days ago. 1t was
written by Jackson Hall. surgeon in the
Continental army, to Elbridge Gerry.
signer of the Declaration of Independ-
ence. and Is dated Portsmouth, June 81,
1715, or only ten days after the battle
was fought 1t will be recalled that Of
the 5000 British troops engaged in the
fight, LO54 were killed or wounded. while
the loss of the Americans was $50 killed
and wounded, and that the British carried
the breastworks on the third assault and
after the scanty ammunition of the Amer
leans was exhausted. DIR. Hall in his let
ter says:
ION my way home met with Mr. Rob-
erts. who came out of Boston Friday
last. His account of the killed and
wounded is much the same as that in
Edds & Gill Watertown paper. But when
| arrived home found that George Mes
serve, our collector Of the customs, had
got from Boston. He left Boston Satur-
day, and gives the following infamous
and damnable false representation Of the
affair-that go of the Kings Troops only
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-29

right along. he'd made good with the
downtown eats when the hour and the
moment had seemed propitious; he hadn't
overlooked the birthday roses; he'd romp-
ed in strong with the Christmas gear.
He'd behaved generally, in fact just
IKE one Of those regular trapped ones.
True; he had not breathed any soft
nothings.
He had not ever taken any prizes as q
soft nothings breather. This explained it.
therefore. His physical and mental sys-
tenn was entirely devoid Of superheated
steam or south breeze
He was just regular folks. Consequent
ly he had done merely the usual things
performed by the trapped ones, and let
it go at that; without ever attempting to
slip over any of those dawling-you-are-
the-only-one or presh-you'v got it-on-all-
of-'em numbers.
In truth, he had been a little bit ON the
play'-em-safe side in that direction. So
much SO that Miss Twinkletoes had felt
occasion, quite frequently, to feel cha
grined over his method of playing EN- for
posish and so as not to leave any set-ups
after having made his shots.
He hadn't even spun along the re-
quest, nay, the demand. that Miss Twin
kletoes can the other ginks who had been
easing along occasionally of evenings to
spill chatter with that young lady.
He hadn't even thought of requesting
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-29
NR. AND MRS. GRUMP TAKE A SUNDAY AFTERNOON STROLL

swer They're on to each other. That's
the reason they despise each other. All
the same, If that woman is nine minutes
more than twenty-five years of age, I'll
eat every bit of asphalt there Is on this
street.
Anyhow, her age hasn't anything to
do with her neatness and trigness.
don't care II woman's hundred years
old, she can take some pains with her
self and try to look decent if only to
please her husband. But that's the last
thing on earth you married women of to-
day think misunderstanding your husbands.
Let the thick-headed fellows work, work,
work and fetch home the money-that's
the sole and solitary idea of all Of you,
and you know it, only, of course. you
never admit 1t. I see lots of women
downtown that are fifty years old If a
day, and yet they look as slick and trim
as a new sled They've got the sense to
realize that looking nice and wholesome
and attractive Is the real business in life
of women.
"A woman doesn't have to be Helen
of Troy or a Queen of Sheba or a Cleo
patra to present an agreeable appearance,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-29

those handsome, sweeping, artistic big
hats, and told you they were vulgar and
common and shop-girly and all that?
Well. then, am going to have my head
examined right after breakfast tomor-
row morning. that's all there is to it.
If l ever said those things-which, of
course 1 never did-why. then I'm on
the edge of paranoia, and the sooner
get bunch of these nut specialists to
look me over the better it's going to be
for all hands. that's all I've got to say
about 1t.
Perhaps it was / that ordered you
to put those Reubeny old cameo earrings
in your ears. wasn't it? How's that?
They are not cameo earrings at all, but
drop-pearl earrings. and the very latest
thing? Oh, that's it, is it? Well, they
may have been the very latest thing
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-29

when Godey's Lady's Book suspended
publication three or four years before
the civil war, but If they don't look like
the ancient half-pound cameo earrings
that my grandmother used to wear along
with the crinoline that she rigidly ad-
hered to up to the day of her death, then
I'm dizzy from smoking tea cigarettes,
that's all.
by the way, why do you wear those
tan shoes on Sunday? How's that-'the
better the day the better the Decd and
tan shoes are all the thing for
walking this year, no matter whether
the day is Sunday or not?
Uh-huh. Well. I'm raving. that
it. According to your dope I'm raving
about nine-tenths of the time these days
All the same, if I. were you I'd can the
with me on Sunday. If I'd known you
were wearing such things. 1 wouldn't
have come out with you at ALL That's
a pipe. Why. everybody we pass looks
at your feet and grins and It's no wonder.
ooh, well, that's it, go ahead and suIk
Keep your mouth shut and never say
word. You've got the right idea-come
out for a stroll with your husband and
never say a word during the entire time,
but just sulk. sulk. sulk.
whats that? You're not sulking at
all. only you hate to be picked to pieces
and you do the best you can to look
nice? Well. who the dickens has been
picking you. and who says that you
don't do the best you can to look all
right?
after while 1 guess it'll get so that
won't be allowed to open my mouth,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-29

Casting a quick. discerning glance at
him. however. Miss Twinkletoes perceiv-
ed that the aforesaid somher light of de-
termination still slumbered i'm his iamps
:, They uncoiled the usual bunch Of pre-
lminary stuff with which youngiSh per-
sons when they get together, stall and
stall and stall.
Then. after he had been seated. he sud
denly looked up at her, and then he
However just hold on for a minute
There's phony and an on-the-leveI
way Of winding up this absorbing little
romance in real life.
The phony method is based upon the
funnyistiCal plan. which originally Great
ed by the jokesmiths who carved their
gags on stone tablets In the Eocene pc
Rod, has been in steady, not to say in
cessant, use ever since.
The phony method would wind it up in
any one of five or six different ways. One
way would be to make him say this:
MISS Twlnkletoes | have been desir-
Gus OF saying something to you for a
long time"
"Yes?' she murmured with an air of
nervous expectancy
Yes, Miss Twinkletoes, | have been
DESTROYS of-er-submittng question to
your consideration for long, long time
"Well?"
have been going to ask you If you
would consider me presumptuous if
Yes. yes-what is it?'
If / were to ask you to crochet me n
pair Of suspenders"
That would be one of the phony meth
DDS of the humoristicaI people.
Another would be to make him side
step and duck after really intending to
get the question across. Like this:
Miss Twinkletoes. do you think that
You could-er-learn to
Learn to what. Mr.. Slinsky?"
w ipl
that. If you applied yourself diligently to
II, you could ever by the remotest possi-
biiity. learn to-learn to-er-that is tn
say. do you think you could. if you really
tried hard. learn to-er-"
We'll. Mr. Slinsky?''
mat you could-er-learn to stamp
those burnt-leather notices.
We've only given a couple of the sam
this stuff. And that. for lack of room
Is all that We are going to give.
In TINS particular instance, however. il
broke entirely differently.
1t broke differently because the world
is not, In spite of all of the earnest eff
forts of the funnyists to disseminate such
a belief, peopled by fatheads and bone
conks.
1t broke differently because. as a sim
pie matter of fact. there isn't one he
person out of five million who. when ne
makes up his mind that he likes or loves
girl well enough to ask her to marry
him. Is honest-Injun afraid of her two
cents worth.
He just asks her. that's ALL out of
hand, in normal tone of voice lust like
that.
Wherefore Miss Twinkletoes the out
come proved. had had the dope just pc
cisely right.
"Teeps," he said to her when he'd
leaned forward In his chair that way,
we've been fooling around long enough
You're the one for me if you like tie
I'm all for you, plus. Ct
1t pretty bad. when 1t comes to that II
go two or three feet further, and stat,
that I'm quite few dippy over yoa
Well, how about it, Teeps?''
That's the way 1t was done
1t is disheartening, one need not saw
to thus iconoclastically bust and disman-
tie the funnyous traditions of all the
ages But herewith, herewith is mee-ighty
and 1t mee-ust prevail
CLARENCE L. CULLEN
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-29

proves to me that the petitions are signed
perfunctorily. They'll sign any old petit
ton over here merely to get rid of the
petition circulators. Most of the sgners
are thinking of something else while
they're scribbling their signatures to
these petitions. They haven't the time nor
the inclination for argument and so they
take the easiest way out of trouble by
grabbing their quilts and scrawling their
names
But it is fair to say that there is no
sympathy worth mentioning for Morse in
this town. The almost universal idea here
is that Morse has been the recipient of
precisely what is coming to him. The
fact has not been forgotten, nor will it be
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-29

me every blamed time I take you any
where. I'm hardly out of the door with
you nowadays before you start some
thing. and you never let up, but just
keep on muttering and gassng and
pounding away at it, until it's enough
to drive man crazy.
by the way, what ails that hat you're
wearing? 1t looks all in a bunch to
me-like as il a camel had stepped on
1t. Why don't you get lid like the
other women are wearing, and not buy
these dinky little brainweights that wom-
en- were wearing in the days of daguerreo-
types? But, Of course. it's pure stub
bornness on your part All the other
women / see are wearing big, generous,
dashing hats, and, of course, that's all
the reason in the world why you should not
get one of that kind to please me. YOU
Huh? expressly declared myself against
those big hats and absolutely forbade
you to bring one Of them into the apart
ment? Say, look a-here, my dear. are
you using betel nut or bhang or some
thing like that, and IL not. what on earth
ails you? 1 forbade you to get one Of
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-29

Gloomy Gus had been talking through
his bonnet.
Shack" said a democratic colleague
the day after the ARRAY, when are you
going to reply to Tawney?"
Amt going to reply said Gloomy
Gus. mournfully
Not going to answer that roast? ex-
planned the colleague. Why. | never
heard of such a thing You must an
swer!'
Il can't" moaned Mr.. Shackleford. on
the verge of tears. Il would II l could;
but | can't. l didn't know what | was
talking about and Tawney did. He's got
the goods on me-
And now the democrats are real sore
because Mr.. Shackleford got his side In
bad.
TT was the evening after that damp but
otherwise suspicious occasion when
Henry B. F. mcfarland and Henry
Litchf1eld West sang their swan song as
the civilian members of the board of
District Commissioners. and when they
were clutched by the hand and wept over
and told to be good boys for the rest
of their natural lives. even if they did
live in the District of Columbia.
1t was the evening after-as has been
noted-and Mr.. West. private citizen
but as popular as ever, was dining out.
The other guests noticed that he looked
sad and distract, sort of mournful and
and all that sort of thing.
and, as usual, 1t was attributed to the
wrong cause.
"Smatter. Harry?'' asked one of the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-29

muring the word propose" There are
certain reservations, hold-outs as it
were, which women have even with them
selves. They hate to admit. for example.
that they could or would be guilty of
such an indelicacy as waiting for him to
come across with an offer of his hand
and heart.
Nevertheless, they do so walt.
Oh, many, many of them do so wait;
some with confidence. some. with dubeity,
others with sort of undoped but breath
less expectancy.
Miss Twinkletoes had reasons, clearly
and even felinely OWNED by herself. I'M
DERIVING her bunch that he was to skate
to the center on this particular evening
He had been sort of acting up that way
On the occasion of his more recent
visits to the Twinkletoes domicile there
had been somber light of determination
in his eyes; light which did not mean
Say. Teepsie, let's go down and take in
a moving picture show" or docs half
dozen fried sound good to you. Orchid
Cheeks?"
his wicks had not. Miss Twinkletoes pre-
figured, denoted anything SO trivial or
frivolous as these things.
1t foretold, in her deliberate, carefully
weighed judgment, that he was on the
verge of nudging over with the big ask
thing.
1t is in no derogation whatever OF the
charms and engaging qualities of our
heroine when we state that on several
previous occasions. she had misread her
dope in affairs of this character
4 Such miscalculations, 1t need not be
stated, are by no means unusual.
Under the social scheme now generally
prevailing. as soon as male person calls
upon young woman about three times
in row, she feels that she is entitled
to look upon him as upon something on
which she holds the matrimonial mort
gage, at usorious interest rates. Herein
by the way, is embodied tip to the lady
writists for the women's pages who COM
plain petulantly that it seems to be inn
possible for women to have men for COM
rades and pals. The male creatures are
afraid Of that stuff, and they have a H.
eense to be so afraid
In the present instance, however. Miss
Twinkletoes had far better cause to build
expectations and hopes than she had
ever had before.
This one had been mooching around the
Twinkletoes plant of evenings for pretty
nigh en- to year.
He'd been there with the theater tickets
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-29

ger said, with something of smile as
he started for the door. II lust wanted
to see what kind of place we had You
see. am member of this committee
The chairmans face turned red white
and blue but he couldn't think of any,
thing to say until after the member had
gone. Afterward he looked the mem
Der up and made amends as well as he
could. Funny thing was that the "stran-
ger and the chairman had been in Con-
gress together for six years and had
never met
THE plans for reducing the size of the
House of Representatives are coming
along in fine shape. If Elliott Woods. the
superintendent of the Capitol. is able to
get all the necessary materials ordered in
time to be on hand by the adjournment Of
Congress this coming spring. the work
will be carried out during the summer re-
cess. and the new chamber will be ready
for use during the second session of Con-
gress, which Will convene this coming
December
Members with poor voices are ardentiy
waiting for the changed conditions. Rep
resentative Mann of Illinois is one of
these. Mr. Mann is mighty vigorous
physically and nimble mentally. but his
voice Is not up to the standard and he
has to strain his vocal cords every time
he makes speech. In fact there are
very few representatives in Congress at
the present time who can speak without
undue effort, and yet be heard all over
the great hall.
When the change is made benches will
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-29

either. It's not looks so much as 1t is
style, dash, that indefinable touch Of
How's that? What's the matter with the
way you look today? l didn't say there
was anything the matter, did L? But,
since you're so blamed pointed in the
business. permit me to observe that that
skirt you're wearing hits me as being
kind o. farmery and old-fashioned, and
Huh? It has right to look old-fash-
Toned, seeing that it's in it's third year?
Oh, 1t is. Ell? Well, suppose you mean
that for a stab? l suppose l never buy
You a new thing to wear-is that it?
See here. I'd give a heap. if you'd
outgrow this habit of yours Of fighting
with me and argufying and picking on
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-29

other words. he is on the job-but he
finds himself seriously Handicapped al
times by an almost total lack OF the saw
Ing grace of humor Mr.. Pearre probably
won't believe this statement, but 1t is a
fact just the same
However. the special committee of the
District committee which is investigating
the food problem in the District of Co
lumbia. was meeting the other day and
MIR. Pearre was interrogating DR. Har-
vey W. Wiley. chief Of the bureau of
chemistry OF the Agricultural Depart
ment. All of the members of the com
nittee had displayed exceedingly great
interest in the question Of What is
eggs? and Mr.. Pearre apparently had
been more interested than even any one
else
DIR. Wiley" said Mr.. Pearre, with
great impressiveness. will you tell the
gentlemen of the committee please, how
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-29
Drawing the Line.
From Life

Great Author: Did you tell that maya
zine editor that l was too busy to see
him.
Boy: Eyes, sir but he says he can't
understand it; that you have been writing
for his magazine for years"
well. l may write for a magazine,
but that's no reason why have to asso-
ciate with the editors Of it,