The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1910-06-17

All About Senator BristOw.

No, Joseph No, Joseph Little Thrice no. Joseph
Little Brlstow. You can talk your bless 4 head off.
Senator BrlstOw of Kansas and talk it on again and
in the memorable words of Senator Bradley. You mout
better writ litter" For the gentlemen of the Upper
House haven't forgot what YOU did to them senator
while you were the fourth assistant postmaster gener
al and beyond all possibility of cav the ivest wire that
ever was strung through that cavity Down in the re-
cesSes of their desks Mr.. Senator Bstow they have
little pamphlet written by you, and entitled "Brstow
Report, In which YOU turned binding LIGHT mon the
conduct of the Postofce Department your dearly loved
boss Bob Wynne, and his friends in the Senate
And wheneveryou are found to be on one side OF a
proposition they duck their heads down beneath their
desk lids and refresh their memories by hasty glance
that booklet and come up grapng forl reath but suf
fclently long winied to vote the way YOU don't want
them to until the cows come home. And thus it ever
And so it didn't do Mr.. Brstow ary good to get red
across the bridge OF the nose, and stamp and holer
when Senator Aldrich pulled rule that he had forgot
ten, and gave the gentemanly presiding officer the
quick nudge make the hasty ruling and thus left the
gentlemen from Kansas corked and full Of boiling Ian
guage. And it won't do him any good today when he
gets up and shouts, Have care, Jack Dalton" For
Mr. Brlstows race rum so far the present Senate
is concerned.
The only way in which this highly estmable very
ong-egged ornately roug house person can make GER
tam OF smeful hearing from the Senate is to change
the Senate The present incumbens lose their appetite
when they see him, and remember what he has said and
done to and about them. But they don't prod him
much He is too unreined and common in his methods
to altogether suit This especially applies to Senator
Bailey. Mr.. Bailey may choke Senator Beveridge. and
bend an umbrella reporter and in other ways es-
tabsh himself as fussy person. But any time he has
occasion to differ with Senator Bristow watch him do it
In tone OF POLISHED courtesy For if he tries to rough
it with the Kansas person there will be some far West
ern doings on the Senate floor in two-four time
Joseph Little Bristow born in Kentucky fortv-
eight years ago. He's tan and longegged and aggres-
sve. By and by he drfted out Kansas where he be-
came the editor of paper. Brstow seems to be the
natural muckracker He found that the prosecuting at
torney of the county taking brbes from the LIQUOR
men; he got documentry evidence of the fct and he
muckraked that attorney to fare you-w H. The attor-
ney about twice Bristows apparent size and when
he read the story he up the stairs to Brstows Office
three steps at time, bowling murder at every lump
When ne got inside he found Bristow sitting in the
editorial chair toying with an eevennch butcher knife
and garlng at him out OF pair of steady gray ewes
How do you do, Mr.. Brstow," said the prosecuting
attorney. Lov-ly weather we're having yes? Well
must be going now
little later it developed that the attorney NAV not
have been much OF lawyer, but he classed way up as
physiognomist. Bristow said few unpleasant COL
umns, with double leads and slugs and mpassioned cap
itas about professional gambler bad man." The
gambler gathered his friends about him. '.See that
spot he asked pointing to freckle on the pavement
beneath Bristows window Watch it. That's where
that gander-legged editor will light His friends
stood about, open-mouthed The gambler went up
stairs. By and by form hurted through the window
and fell upon the spot indicated. "Hoorayw said the
gamblers friends. "Old Bill made good WHAT"
Old Bill painfully from the spot and hissed at
them profaney; That editor grabbed me when |
wasn't lookn', said he. "And now he's got me stove
up that can't climb them stairs no more"
But recital of Brstows scraps would read like the
first nine chapters of 'Fistiana Except that he has
always favored the knife rather than the clenched fin
ger in doing datte. He saved innocent negro from
ynchng out in Sana because he had that eleven
inch rpsaw of his ready for action. The infuriated
crowd of ynchers figured out that two or three of them
would sustain puncures if they pressed too close and
so they went away from there. Then, just to show
that ne possesses hnman nconsstence he took that job
T. M putth tho hnl
lest job lynchng that shrieking Washington has ever
seen band of venerable senators being the victims
They got Brstow canned from his place in the post
office just for that but Kansas liked the way he cut
up so that it elected bin to the Senate They do say
that the only man gave him kind word when he enter
was the porter who has the bootblacking privileges
and who figured extensive contract after he got
he got peek at the new arrival These are a few
of the why Adrch and the rest don't like himAs
for the other reasons he's furnishing them daily