The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1910-03-02

They pet it so and keep it in
Such unheard-of magnificence.
The farmer always tastes thee food
TO see If it will make him i'll.
And rich and appetizing soups
Are given it instead of swill.
The best and most expensive foods
Are set before it without stint,
And Indigestion is forestalled
BY Gaping them with creme de
mint.
You wouldn't know it for a stye
The hog is quartered in today.
1t has ventilating fan.
A roof. a skylight and a spray;
And how it sleeps. eats. drinks
and feels.
And how to safeguard 1t from
harm,
Is all they think and talk about
These piping days upon the farm.
The farmers lie awake O. nights
Devising prophylacuc troughs.
The doctors fly from farm to farm
Examining hiccups and coughs;
And nowadays when farmers meet
Each other out upon a jog
Their first and most soiicitous
Inquiry is. :'How is your hog?"
March was the favorite month OF
the old Romans and the beginning
of their year. 1t was named for
Mars. their god of war. and con-
tinued to rank the other months un-
til a. b. c., when the peace party
In the Senate allied with the in
surgents and reduced 1t to third
place on the calendar. Brutus and
some of the others thought the en-
pire ought to make less OF war and
and more Of business. SO they made
January. named for the Two-Faced
Janus, the beginning of the year.
and the month of Februus. who
typified the dark and evil ways Of
business, to Immediately follow. Cae-
sar, who was speaker of the Sen
ate. stood pat on the old calendar
upon the ground that while war.
as someone had said. is hell. busi-
ness, when 1t reaches the trust
stage, is a good deal heller. A few
regulars of the war party support
ed him, but the allies were irresis-
tible, and he was finally stabbed.
Revising the calendar was as great
an issue in Roman politics as re-
vising the tariff has become in our
own, and more than one brave lead
er laid down his life for the divi-
sion of time as he thought 1t ought
to be or his party had pledged. The
Romans discovered very early in
their history that it is in the ma
ture of man to revise something.
and they finally agreed upon the
calendar as the thing over which
the politicians could fight with the
least damage to the peace and
prosperity of people as a whole.
and spring will come again to fresh
en- up the faded grass and wake the
hearts of men. The grounding will
awake again borne out upon the
whole, and the geese will march
across the sky to see about the
pole. The thrill of spring will run
along the backbone Of the calf.
He'll buck and dance upon the
mead and hoist his hinder half.
He'll dream of blooming clover
fields and waving curly dock. and
gambol with his rigid tail stuck up
at 6 o'clock.
The blithesome meadowlark will
sing the glories of the dawn. and
the robin will turn somersets upon
the greening lawn. The spring-in-
toxicated colt will do-si-do about,
the festive frog will wake to help
the Weather Bureau out. the poor
consumer will rejoice and hope for
better luck, and the trusts will Sit
around and dam the coming garden
truck
On the 4th Mr.. Taft will cele-
brate his first anniversary in the
White House with masquerade.
There has never been a masquerade
there, but Mr.. Taft is very anxious
to have everybody come. and in
view of the unsettled political con-
ditions. the Ballinger-Pinchot con-
troversy and some other things. he
feels that as long as nobody can
determine positively who else is pre-
sent. there will be no occasion for
anyone staying away. Pink tea
will be served. and there will be
picture of Mr.. Roosevelt under the
coal pile in the basement. Take
offs on the consumer. illusions to
June 15, costume caricatures Of
Speaker Cannon and other cussed-