The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-07-10
THE FORTH
Some Fittin Remarks on the Gel.
ebTsshun of the Glorious DC.
cashun in Our DeIayd Burg

The Glorious Fourth was celebrated
in Bingville in d terrible fttin manner
and even as We 90 TO press the echo Of
the noise that took place in our midst on
that date has scarce died away, as you
might say. Nobody was killed, but sew
eral was injured and a lot more about
skeered to deth.
Hardly had daylight begin to illurn-
mate the eastern horizon on the morn
ing Of the glorious Forth ere the voice
OF the frecracker was heard in the town.
Hank Dewberry and Yves Woodruff
thought it would be fitting TO fire a big
salute just at daybreak, SO they secured
piece of two-inch gas pipe three feet
long and plugged up one end and then
loaded it about half full of blasting
powder and rammed in rags and stones,
leaving a fusee to set it off with. This
was all did the night before in secLrst,
being as Hank and Yves planned 10 sur
prise our inhabitants the next morning
before they was awake so they got
things all ready Hank stayed all night
with Yves and they was so afeard that
they would oYersleep the next morning
that the result was they stayed Up all
night and before day next morning they
took their gas pipe and pcrceeded to the
publick square in silence, where they
placed the gas pipe in the middle of the
square. Then Wes he struck a match
and lit the fusee and then both Hank
and Yves departed as fast as they could
depart. hiding behint Hen Weathersby's
store.
| Just as the fusee was about half burnt
off who should step outen his front
door but Seth Dewberry, our lion heart
ed town constable, who got up early be-
cause he. had SIGH a hard days work
ahead of him keeping the crowds in or
der and preventing bloodshed, If pos
sible Seth had his badge ali shined Up
and started to walk aerost the street
right lords the gas pipe which was due
to go off any seckond. When Yves and
Hank saw this they helt their breaths
in surprise because they didn't know
what else to do But as soon as Hank
realized that the next minute his own
brother Seth would be bowed up before
his very eyes and him be his murderer
Hank jumps out and hollers for Seth to
for goodness sake go back less he de-
sired to be bowed into thousand
pieces Jest then the gas pipe exploded
with deefening report. Jest as il went
off Seth had turned TO run, so all il done
to him was to throw him about IS feet
and blow his coattails off close up to his
person. Soon as Seth got on his feet he
collared Hank, who had run out TO see
how bad he was killed and Seth told
Hank there and then that if he wasn't
his own brother he would not only Arrest
him on the spot, but would also give
him a drubbin that he wouldn't recover
from for some weeks. Yves escaped and
is still at large. This gas pipe woke dp
the entire town.
Everybody come out on the streets
after they had got a mouthful of break
fast, full of patriotism and enthusiasm.
The BIngville Horn Band marched back
and forth along the street dispensing q
loud noise and beating the base drum
and trying to drownd each other out.
At 10 a. m. Jed Peters, our intelligent
school teacher. made a speech on the
puhlick square 10 tisr assembled crowd,
Jed stood tip on the seat of q wagon TO
speak He was ali drest rp In his Sun
day best and had his hair pIastcred
down With bears grease ard looked real
nice Jed spoke as foiIers;
Fellow Citizens, Ladies', Gents and
Children--We are gethered together here
today on this auspishIcus occasion to
eeIebrats the birthday OF American inde-