The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-08-09

From the Louisville Courier-Journal.
Rockefeller must take whisky
baths.'-News Item.
"OR many years, during which he
n was pulverizing the small COM
L petitor and amassing countless
millions of the units of monetary
measurement that are employed 10
state the worth" of Americans, John
D. Rockefeller was pointed to as
warning example to young men who
might be moved by a yaulting arb1-
tton for wealth to sacrifice their stom-
achs in its pursuit
1--WE are poor" said the poor put
we have our health" They said II over
and over and tried to convince them
selves that their stomachs were worth
more than the Standard Oil company
If Mr. Rock efeller had died OF lndi-
gestion 20 years ago the argument
would have been more convincing.
There might have been real consolation
in his demise for the not-wcll-to do
whose digestions were intact and
whose appetites were not baffled by
the iniunctions of a physician. we
are still poor" they might have SAID
without feeling much sympathy Tor
the late Mr. Rock efeller, but we should
rather be living than occupying an ex-
pensive sarcophagus in an exclusive
quarter of an aristocratic cemetery or
reposing pompously In private maui
soleum with a great name over the
door,"
he nf of the
moor PLAYED out while that OF Mr..
Rockefeller thanks to his capacity Tor
paying high priced physicians and
obeying their rules, continued to serve
sufficiently well to keep Mr.. Rookie
fef4er alive corporeally and alive to his
opportunities to skin the weaker
brother out of his business in soul
less and sometimes illegal manner.
| The books that give thumbnall
six etches of the achievements of celeb
rites agree in the statement that Mr..
Rock efeller's stomach began to cope
with LIQUID foods in 1889, which was p
good while ago as mems lives are
measured Yet the few who survive
the many whose digestions fell into
disrepair, despite their poverty, many
years ago, and who were gathered to
their fathers as a result, observe that
Mr.. Rockefeller is still with us. He
is living pretty happily upon golf, mo-
toring, selected foods and envenomed
attack. The latest news is that his
physicians are now to pickle the great
man In alcohol. Afioat in this valuable
preservative, he may prolong his life
for many years.
whisky applied externally has linz
bering-up effect. In the good old days
| of our daddies, when the boot was
fashionable and the bootjack house,
hold article used for other purposes
than rebuking the cat, whisky was
often poured upon the boot to make
the stiff leather soft and pliable. The
flexibility of Mr.. Rockefeller will be
Increased, so his physicians believe, by
soaking his epidermis in a tub OF red
LIQUOR every morning before he goes
out upon the golf links to ply the
driver, the brassy, the putter, the nib
lick, the vocabulary of profanity and
other accessories before the fact OF
boiling out.
How many years will be added to the
life of the great executioner of the
small competitor 1T would, of course
be impossible to guess, but he has al
ready lived little beyond the time al
lotted by the psalmist. With care and
whisky plunges he may contrive to
play golf until he is IS or more.
The rich may have resources. II
may be well, for the purpose Of pro-
noting contentment among the dollar.
less. to assume that the rich perish