davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03
It's Your Kidneys
Don't Mistake the Cause of Your
Troubles. A Washbnrn Citizen
Shows how to Cure Them.

Many people never suspect their
kidneys. If suffering from lame
weak or aching back they think that
it is only a muscular weakness
when urinary trouble sets in they
think it. will soon correct itself.
And so it is with all other symptoms
of kidney disorders, That is just
where the danger lies. You must
cure these troubles or they may lead
to diabetes or Bright's disease, The
best remedy to use is Doan IS Kidney
Pills. 1t cures all ills which are
caused by weak or diseased kidneys.
WashDurn people testify to perman-
emit cures.
Margaret Sands, Third ST., Wasl-
burn, Wis, says: 81 have only
words of praise for DoanS Kidney
Pills. For some time | suffered
from weak haneys and my whole
sys lem seemed to Ue fl'ed WITH ic
poison. | was SUBJECT to dizzy
Spells and often | had difficulty IN
breathing. The kidney secretons
were unna urai and | ielt miserable.
l finally procured Doan s Kidney
Pills at Frost's drug store and De-
gan using them. They helped me a
great deal. [ am now free from
pain and my kidneys are :hore nor
NAL.
For sale by all dealers. Price 90
cents. Foster ilburn Co., Buffalo;
New York, sole agents for the
United States. Remember the name
Doan sand take no other.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03

Scrap Book
An Ahrupt Greetinu..

Some years ago Joaquin Miller, the
''poet of the Sierras," and Blank, the
'sweet swan of Packingtown," went
to England together and made a pill
grimage to the home Of Swinburne.
Arrived at the jealousy guarded re-
treat of the great metrist, they con-
fessed themselves to the poets faith
full Cerberus, Mr.. Watts DuntOn.
The latter withdrew to break the
glad news to Swinburne, and the Wis
itors began to think anXiously Of the
nice things they wanted to say. JOa-
Quin took a firm grip of his flowing
whiskers, while Blank fingered nerv-
ously neat roll of manuscript in an
inner pocket. Soon door was opened
on an upper floor, Dunton was heard
to make his announcement, and then
the rich voice of the author of "Laus
Veneris'' floated down the stairway:
''Tell Miller to come up. Tell the
other man to go to hell"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03
LINCOLN TRIED IT.
And That Ended the Naval Sweatbox
Punishment.

And That Ended the Naval Sweatbox
Punishment.
On one of Mr.. Lincoln's excursions
to Fortress Monroe on the steamer
Hartford in 1868 his attention was di-
rected to narrow door bound with
iron. the use of which he was anxious
to learn.
What is this|' he asked.
oh that is the sweatbox.' was the
reply. 1T is used for refractory and
insubordinate seamen. A man in there
is subjected TO steam heat and has very
little ventilation. 1t generally brings
him to terms very quickly"
President Lincolns curiosity was
aroused This" he said to himself,
lis treatment to which thousands of
American seamen are probably sub
jected every year. Let me try it for
myself and see what it really is"
Taking off his hat. for he was sever
tered the inclosure, which he found to
be little more than three feet in length
or width He gave orders that at a
signal from himself the door should
be Immediately opened. 1t was then
closed and the steam turned on.
He had been inside hardly three min
utes before the signal was given. Pres
ident Lincoln had experienced enough
of what was then regarded as neces-
sary punishment for American seamen.
There was very little ventilation. and
the short exposure to the hot and hu-
mid air had almost suffocated him.
Turning to Secretary Welles of the
navy department. the president ordered
that no such Enclosure as the sweatbox
should ever after be allowed on any
vessel flying the American flag.
1t was not an hour after this order
had been given before every sailor on
every ship in Hampton Roads had
heard of it. The effect was most re-
markable on the older sailors. many
of whom had themselves experienced
the punishment of the sweatbox. Some
of them wept from joy.
But the good results of this act of
President Lincoln were not confined to
the American navy. Great Britain.
France. Germany and other European
countries heard that the sweatbox had
been abolished in America as inhuman.
iOne and all of these nations in turn fell
into line. and today the sweatbox is
not to be found on any vessel flying
the flag ia civilized nation through
out the world.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03
Enliqhtened.

Victor Hugo had accepted an invi-
tatiOn to dine at the house of one of
those ardent republicans who at the
time were wittily termed '1es pre-
cieuses radicales."
The dinner time came, and yet no
butler appeared to pronounce the for
mula Madame est servie."
Finally one of the intimates, M.
-, vice president of the senate, ap-
preached the mistress of the house and
said, laughing: Pardon me, but have
made mistake? 1 thought that you
had asked us to dinner"
The lady whispered in reply: Both
GRAFTON! Yes. We were to have been
fourteen, but M. LIE Roger has excused
himself at the last moment, and I've
had to send for a substitute. There's
one of our guests here who would new
er sit down if we were thirteen at ia
ble.''
A moment later M. was talk
ing with Victor Hugo. "Can you
imagine why we don't dine?" he asked
the poet. cts because there's some
jackass here who is afraid Of sitting
down thirteen at tablev'
And Hugo replied severely and SOL
EMMY, 81 am that jackass."
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03

name on the check? See, here it is"
The teller shook his head YEARLY.
you must be identified he insist
ed. "You must bring somebody who
knows YOU" The lady drew herself
up.
"That check" she said with dignity,
twas given me by my husband. There's
his name on it. Do you know hin?'
81 do said the teller, but l don't
know you"
'Then," said the lady, '1'll show you
who am. My husband is tall man
with reddish hair. His face is smooth
shaven. He has a mole on one cheek
and looks something like a gorilla,
some people say, but l don't think so.
When he talks he twists his mouth to
one side, and one of his front teeth is
missing. He wears No. Is collar, a
No. shoe and won't keep his coat
buttoned. He's the hardest man to get
money out of you ever saw. 1t took
me three days to get this check" The
banker waved his hand.
81 guess it's all right" he said. "Put
your name right there-no, on the back,
not the face."-Galveston News.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03
Civil Service Examination.

The State Civil Service Comm's
sion will offer an examination on
February IL, 1910, at the various
county seats in the state to fill the
position of janitor and housekeeper
at Lathrop Hall in the University
The com bined salary of the position
will probably be $50 per month, to,
gether with complete maintenance,
including two furnished rooms in
the building. Preferred ages 20 tf
40. Position must be flied by mar
ried couple without children.
Persons interest d should WRIT
to the State Civil Service Commits
SIGN, Madison, Wisconsin, at once
for information and blanks
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03
In "a Minute.

An Irishman, who was, Of course,
named Pat, went to heaven and was
met at the door by st. Peter. Pat
passed the time of day politely with
the guardian of the gate and COM
mented upon the grandeur Of every
thing around him, and then st. Peter
said
yes, this is a great place. With us
million years are just like minute,
and million dollars are like cent"
rs that SOP" inquired Pat medita-
lively. Then, "Say, would We moind
finding me a cintY
"Yes," returned st. Peter, Gin min
Ute"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03
The Promenade Stopped.

Captain Deering, when he was In
command of a steamer running from
Portland to st. John, was once unable
to sleep on account Of the ceaseless
tramp-tramp of some star gazing pas
senger on the hurricane deck over
head. After turning and twisting in
his berth for half an hour and the
tramping still continuing, Captain
Deering, enraged at the loss of his
sleep, rushed out in his night shirt and
climbed the ladder to the hurricane
deck.
The promenading passenger was
frightened half out of his wits by Tia
specter in white climbing up the lad
der, but was somewhat treasured when
the specter bawled out:
''Say, you; where are you goingY
"TO st. John,' replied the promenad-
er.
"Got a ticket?' pursued the ghost.
"Of course I have"
"Well, then, you COMPOUNDED fool, go
and lie down somewhere. You needn't
walk all the way to st. john" roared
the enraged Deering, and the prone
nader stopped right there.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03
Goodby.


We say 1t for an hour or for years;
We say it smiling, say 1t choked with
tears;
We say it coldly say it with a kiss,
And yet we have no other word than this
"Goodby."
We have no dearer word for our heart s
friend,
Tor him who journeys to the worlds far
end,
And scars our soul with going; thus we
say
las unto him who steps but Ger the way,
"Goodby."
Alike to those we love and those we hate.
We say no more in parting. At life's gate
TO him who passes out beyond earth's
sight
I'VE cry. as to the wanderer for a night.
"Goodby."
Grace DEMO Litchfeld.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03
RAR! THE BLOCKADE.
Putting Through a Risky Piece OF
Business at Santiago.

Putting Through Risky Piece OF
Business at Santiago.
Some naval officers at dinner party
the other evening were discussing the
efficacy of the Cuban blockade in 1898.
That many vessels ran the blockade at
Havana, Cienfuegos and elsewhere
was admitted.
But only one vessel ever ran the
Santiago blockade" said one of the
speakers. land that was one of our
own vessels. the little Gloucester.
He then described how the Glouces-
ter ran the blockade while command
ed by Dick Wainwright. then lieu
tenant commander. who had previous
ly been executive officer of the Maine
when it blew up.
1--WE had been sent down to AsSer-
raderos 10 communicate with the in
surgents." said the racOnteur. who was
on the Gloucester at the time. Upon
our return it was quite dark. and we
were proceeding slowly to our station
on the inside line of the blockade when
the electric signaling apparatus broke
down We could not give signal
particularly the private Identification
signal of the night. Had we been dis
covered by one of the blockading YES
sells ii would at once have flashed the
signal. and if we did not immediately
respond it would have promptly open
ed fire. We would have been blown
to pieces in a minute.
1T was risky piece of business. but
Dick Wainwright was perfectly cool
and the Gloucester actually picked its
way without being discovered through
the whole blockading feet. took up its
station on the inside line under the
MORO. and as soon as the signaling ap-
paratus was Tepaired reported its ar
rival 1t was a clear case of blockade
running, but it was mighty ticklish
while it lasted" Francisco Call
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03
s An Intelligent Cow.

A few nights ago citizen went
home and found COW in his yard.
He drove her out. He then went into
the house and later heard the animal
in the yard again. He drove her out
the second and third times. The clti-
zen's son came home later and found
the animal in the yard and drove der
out. The citizen then made an inVes-
tigation and found the COW got in by
wading around the fence Oh the river
side He hung up lantern to deceive
the cow as she came in. and the next
morning, SO he says. he found the cow
in the yard with the lantern hung on
her horns. using the same to hunt out
the best grapefruit in his grove. Say
what you please. but that was an in
telligent COW. And the story is true
of course it is.-Fort Myer Press.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03
Something MISSING.

This is J. M. Barrie's favorite story
about Bret Harte. When Harte reach
ed Glasgow after his appointment as
the American consul to that city his
finances were at comparatively low
ebb, and instead of going at first to a
hotel he found it expedient to seek
lodgings at once. His search led him
to a dour Scotch landlady, arrange
ments were made, and after leaving
his belongings in his new home he
went out to look after his official du-
ties. Upon his return that evening he
was met by the landlady. Her atti-
tude was stern and questioning. 1--WE
been looking over your belongings, Mr..
Harte," she said. "but whaur's your
Bible ?"-Bookman.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03
No Boxes For Two.


Telephone girls sometimes glory in
their mistakes if there is a joke in con-
sequence. The story is told by a tele-
phone operator in one of the Boston
exchanges about man who asked her
for the number Of local theater. He
got the wrong number, and without
asking to whom he was talking he
said, Can l get box for two to-
night?
A startled voice answered him at the
other end Of the line, ''We don't have
boxes for two"
'Isn't this~the - theater" he called
Grossly.
"Why, no." was the answer; 'this is
an undertaking shop"
He Cancelled his order for box
for two"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03
Swell Stock.

Gould I-sell you an imported Per
sian cat for $i.OO0?' venture6 the cat
and dog fancier.
What" exclaimed the multimillion-
aire in surprise. "Why, just bought
a $1,000 bulldog from you the other
day
Eyes. but l thought you'd want a
$1,000 cat for that swell bulldog to
chase. You surely wouldn't allow a
$1,000 bulldog to chase common cat.
would you "-Pittsburg Press.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03
The Last Great Prize.

As we grow older and the shadows
begin to lengthen and the leaves which
seemed SO thick in youth above our
heads grow thin and show the sky be-
yond, and as those in the ranks in
front drop away, and we come in sight,
as we all must, of the eternal rifle pits
beyond, man begins to feel that
among the really precious things of
life, more lasting and more substantial
than many of the objects of ambition
here, is the love of those he loves and
the friendship of those whose friend
ship he prizes.-Henry Cabot Lodge.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03
Meanness to a Blind Man.

A man with dark glasses over his
eyes touched the conductor on the
shoulder as the car neared Euclid ave-
nue. and East Fifty-ffth street.
Pardon me-" the man said. but if
you're the conductor | want to ask a
favor. I'm blind. and | want you to
lead me over to the curb when the car
stops. if you'll be so good"
Not that | minded the little bother
of dom that for him." remarked the
conductor when he got back on his
car. ''but faint right to let blind
man go around all alone like that at
night trying to find his way around in
the dark."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03
Redemption.

If from the darkened paths Of guilt
To narrow ways of righteous love
Ye care to win the souls of men,
Use not the wearying words and tears
Which lend to endless chains of wrong
Another link to strengthen them,
But seek to gather from thy life.
AS spinning daily, thread by thread,
A web of glory strong and bright,
And ask thy soul each passing hour,
Whilst flinging wide it's shining mesh,
The question, Am l living right?''
C. M. Wheelock.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03

If a man starts to pay his
debts. it puts a row OF men a
half mile long in motion, each
one starting to pay his. 1t
may be that you are the man
in the row that has stopped
the motion. If you owe any
one, pay him.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03
The
- The -
Scrap Book
Yes. He Mas Hurt.

frontier town. One man was fright
fully mangled with bowie knife. The
surgeon said that he could not live
and described his condition in the
technical terms of his profession, tell
ing of injuries to certain carriages,
membranes, and so forth. When he
had gone away a friend of the dying
man called to inquire IL he was really
in danger. asking, as Jim much hurt p
SIS Jim Joyce hurtw replied one of
the crowd. rs Jim hurt! Why, man,
the doc says that all Of the Latin part
of his bowels is gone"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03

WANTED-Succpss Magazine
wants an energetic and responsible
man or woman in Washburn to col
.ect for renewals and solicit new
subscriptions during full or spare
time. Experience unnecessary.
Aay one can start among friend~
md acquaintance and build up
paying and permanent business
without capital. Complete outfit
and instructions free. Address
'VON,' Success Magazine Room
lob, Success Magazine Building,
New York City, N. Y.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03
The Leading Daily Paper
OF Wisconsin.

The Milwaukee Journal is Of
fered for the next few weeks
with The TIMES for 1925 per
year. Think of it! A metropo-
Titan daily paper and your own
local paper for only $3 25. Bring
your subscription to The TIMES
office before this offer is with
drawn.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03
Perfectly Proper.

A young preacher who was staying
at a clergy house was in the habit of
retiring to his room for an hour or
more each day to practice pulpit ora
tory. At such times he filled the house
with sounds of fervor and pathoS and
emptied it of most everything else.
Phillips Brooks CHANGED to be visit
ing a friend in this house one day
when the budding orator was holding
forth
"Gracious mer exclaimed the bish-
op, starting up in assumed terror.
"Pray, what might that be?'
"Sit down, bishop" his friend re-
piled. That's only young D. practic-
ing what he breaches"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03
IDENTIFIED.
The Bank Teller Was Sileneed and
Paid the Money.


A lady with severe and determined
looking face and i'll whose eyes there
was CLEAN Of triumph entered a
bank and presented a check to the
paying teller.
I'm very sorry to trouble you. mad
am" said the bank teller politely, 'but
you'll have to be identified" He push
ed the check across the marble slab
toward her as he spoke.
"Identifiedp' repeated the lady
'sWhat does that mean? Isn't the
check good?"
The bank man did not smile, for this
was the thirty-seventh lady who had
asked this question that day.
II have no doubt it isl he said, "but
I don't know you. Do you know any
body In the bank?"
"Why, I'm Mrs. Weatherley!' ex-
claimed the lady. Didn't you see my
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03
A Card

We, the undersigned, do hereby
agree to refund the money on 80
cent bottle of Green's warranted
Syrup of Tar if it fails to cure your
cough or cold We also guarantee
a 25-cent bottle to prove satisfact-
DRY or money refunded. Fox Bros.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03
A Hard One.

Two ladies, one young and the other
somewhat ancient, were rather unfor-
tunate in not being asked to dance at
a party they were attending.
The younger lady said spitefully, as
she sat beside the other during a
waltz:
II wonder, dear, if / shall lose my
looks, too, when get to be your age"
you'll be lucky if you do,' snapped
the older lady.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03
One on the Professor.

One sarcastic college lecturer has
got his deserts. A frequently inatten-
tive member of his class appeared to
be drawing in his notebook-perhaps a
caricature of the instructor.
The lecturer paused and asked i'm
pressively, do you think that scrib-
bling you are doing is important?"
81 don't know sir, I'm sure" RESPOND
ed the yo,ltn. Il was taking dc-
what YOU srnsa s..ivine"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03
rea.prinkino Festival.

The great annual tea-drinking festf'
Sal in connection with the churches
End chapels Of Blackburn, England.
was celebrated recently, the number
of the participants being estimated al
22,0Q0.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03

Wanted:-We want a first-class
solicitor for this city and vicinity.
Have a very attractive proposition,
either on salary or commission basis
Call and investigate. THE TIMES.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03
The Eryinc Pan.

People are always decrying the fry
ing pan." said ar experienced cook.
but the thing they refer to-cooking
meat. ETC.. in a shallow pan with but
ter as fat-isnt really frying it; 1t is
sauteing. The real frying pan is a
deep kettle filed with hot clear lard
or olive oil. In this the food-dough-
nut. croquette or whatever it may be-
is immersed just long enough TO make
it crisp and brown on the outside and
feathery and light on the inside. Food
cooked in this way is entirely digesti-
BILE if properly made But so many
cooks make the mistake of putting too
much shortening in the mixture to be
fried, and the fat inside. combining
with the fat outside, prevents the for
nation of the crisp crust and makes
the food soggy."
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-02-03
An Important ADVANTAGE.

"Do you think a college education
affords man an important advan.
tage?"
"Oh. yes. One has to have it in or
der to get into university club
Chicago Record Herald.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1910-10-20

paper printed at the seat Of govern
ment, during the first \. elk in jan
uarv OF each year, and In the next
Voiume of the acts of the legislature.
detailed statements of all moneys
orawn from the tr >asury during the
preceding year. for what purposes and
10 whom paid, and by what law au-
thorlzed; and also of all moneys re-
eei'eo' and by what authority ana
from whom
EFFECT. The Constitution requires
me treasurer to publish yearly de-
.aiied statement of the moneys drawn
from the treasury during the preceo-
ing year, giving the names Of tine per-
sons 10 whom paid and the purposes
ior which 1T was expended. 1T also re.
quires like statement of the names u
the persons, and the sources, as 10
money received, and in both cases
statement of the law under when pa!
menus were made, or money paid INTO
the treasury. The effect OF TINS
amendment, if the same be adopted'
VIII be to repeal the section OF the
constitution mentioned and insofar re-
iie'e the treasurer from such publfca-
.ioh. This change in the Constitution
however, would net prevent the leg1sia-
lure from hereafter directing by law
mat such, a different publication, of
the same or other information should
He made by the Treasurer.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1910-10-20
NORTH ASHLEY

B. L. Doege made business trip to
Sank Centre Monday.
Orick Parker of Sank Centre called
on B. L. Doege Saturday.
Miss Anna Kane, who is attending
school in Sank Centre, spent Saturday
and Sunday at home.
Albert Doege of Birch Lake arrived
Monday to visit his parents.
Geo. Gray and son Otto of South
Ashley were North Ashley callers
Monday.
Miss Kate UphuS drove 20 Osakis
Saturday. Her sister Rose accom-
panied her home and spent Sunday
with her parents.
Mr.. and Mrs. G. Doege and daugh-
ter Martha and Mr.. and Mrs. c. Win
egge of Lyman Prairie spent Sunday
with F. A. Doege and family.
Jos. Wiess and Frank Lang drove
to Getty's Grove Sunday to attend
the John Ripka dance.
Misses Mary, Kate and Lizzie Up
hus, Emily Roseer, Anna Doege, Lena
and Minnie Qistratf, Lewis and Emil
Quistraff and Walter Telschow called
on b. L. Doege and sister Mary on
Sunday evening.