Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-07-05
HIS AUNTIE JULIA.
She Is Really a Wonderful Woman
In Her Own Way.
A GREAT HAND WITH YARDS.
She Can Brow Thorn Into . Medicine
That Hits the Spot Every Time and
10 Better Than . Doctors Visit.
How Che Made Old PuIsifsr Jump.


MY Aunt Julia Is really q wonder.
fui woman" exclaimed the low browed
man. placing his feet OH the managers
desk. She hasn't any diplomas from
medical colleges. but when Il comes TO
curing sick man she can give the
ordinary doctor start OF ten years
and beat him around block. Aunt
Julia has frm faith In yarb$-
You mean herbs" interrupted the
professor.
u don't mean anything Of the kind.
l mean YARDS. You 60 over 70 Aunt
Julia and mention YARDS. and her eyes
VIII brighten up and she'll ask you to
81 down aud eat piece OF pie. but
II you began talking about herbs she'd
paste you one with her trusty sauce
pan aud knock or a corner OF your
scalp. Aunt Julia is pretty touchy
about some things.
"One day old Mrs. Doolittle blew
into the house TO spend the afternoon,
and Aunt Julia happened to say that
something happened In Aprile. Mrs.
Doollttle thinks she knows moro than
Webster's unadulterated dictionary be-
cause she taught school about $50
years ago. when she was young wo-
man. aud she called my aunt down and
said that there was no such word rs
Aprile.
You mean April. my DEAR says
she.
81 don't mean any such doggone
M N
and IL you don't like II. Mrs. Doolittle,
you can lump II. and be blamed to
you
well, they famed away for Eve
minutes or so. and their language be-
gan to make the shingles fall of the
roof. and was thinking Of sending In
hurry call for the cops. when Mrs.
Doolittle left the house by way OF. tho
window and jumped three fences with
out touching them In her haste to get
home. A lot Of saucepans and other
household utensils whizzed past her
ears and seemed to stimulate her.
That's the sort of woman Aunt
julia Is. Now. II you want to 20 over
and talk to her about herbs won't
Interfere.
III there's anything my aunt delights
In it Is docforiDg people She hasn't
bit OF use for drug store medicines.
She brews her own remedies, and she
doesn't think anything will help a
sick person unless 1t tastes like the
royal palnco OF Abyssinia. A dose of
her collie medicine will make n mans
insidcs feel AZ though he had swal-
lowed II porcupine.
II had the collie last summer, aud the
medicine she made for me had smoke
on II. can taste IL yet. Sometimes
l dream that Aunt Julia IS handing me
spoonful OF her collie medicine, and
then ] always wake with a yell. She
IS an old fashioned woman. She gath.
ers her YARDS at certain stages OF the
moon, and when she Is brewing her
medicines she mutters nominations
and makes passes with her hands and
does lot Of tricks that make your
blood run cold. But her remedies hit
the spot.
"Old man Pulsifer, you know. was
hopeless invalid for year. He sat
In wheeled chair and his wife fed
him with the fire shovel. and all the
members of the family were kept SO
busy waiting on him that they hadn't
time to wind the clock or prime the
pump. He said he had paralysis of
the worst kind. and everybody believed
him. Aunt Julia went over there one
day and looked at the old mans tongue
and poked him I'm the ribs and tapped
him with tuning fork and said she
could cure him up SO quick IL would
make his head swim.
III you can cure that man so he'll
be OF some use I'm the world said Mrs.
Pusifer. TIL give you the SILK crazy
quilt my grandmother gave me when
she was dying
Aunt Julia gathered q lot OF YARDS
at the dark OF the moon I'm the south
east corner Of graveyard and stewed
them over n slow fire, and the broth
she made from them would have warp
ed the armor plate OF battleship.
knew by the smell OF 1t that It was
the real stingo. and you can't imagine
how glad was that I didn't have to
take It,. When she went over TO dope
old Phfsifer she insisted on my going
along to help hold him down.
The old man didn't want 10 take IT..
Anybody could see that. He got a
smell Of the stun when Aunt Julia
took the cork from the bottle, and a
pale green sweat broke out on his
brow. But | seized him by the top of
his head and pulled bis mouth open.
and my aunt poured down about forty
kilometers Of her redhot dope, and
when It had sizzled into his stomach
he let out one warwhoop and streaked
out OF doors like professional Mara.
thon runner. When we found him a
couple Of hours later he was standing
In the creek. which was full OF ice wa.
ter, trying TO get his vitals cooled or.
II defy any regular practitioner TO
make a quicker cure than that"-walt
Mason in Chicago News.