davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-05-05
A SMALL BIRD.
But It Had Mighty Swat When Il
Came Down Dead.

But 1t Had Mighty Swat When Il
Came Down Dead.
w. NJ. Newson tells Of an amusing
incident in which dead duck dis
played more activity than would live
one. The incident is as follows:
I'VE saw small flock of broadbills
approaching. They came directly for us,
but unfortunately did not stop for our
decoys. AS they arrived almost over
us we stood up and fired. 1 pulled on
a nice plump looking drake. He start
ed to fall so l turned my second load
loose rather promiscuously and then
started to load up. Behind me Johnny
was still shooting. Then Johnny yelled,
and something hit me a mighty swat
on the back of my neck, whereupon
tried to clean big hunk of stone of
its barnacles by means of my nose and
front teeth. This may be pleasant to
look upon, but it is not an enjoyable
pastime.
Il had always liked Johnny, but the
thought that he had hit me on the
back Of the neck and was now laugh
ing was too much. started for him
with murder in my eye and large
driftwood stick in my hand. Johnny,
still in fits of laughter, pointed behind
me and mumbled some words about
duck I looked around, and there be-
hind me on the rocks was the same
plump looking drake that I had shot
at the first time. It was hard to real
ize that such a small bird had such a
mighty swat. ....
"When Johnny had come out of his
commissions and I had picked the
feathers out of my back hair we look
ed around bit and found there were
four dead broadbills, so l cheered up
a bit. Johnny didn't need any cheer
ing p."-Recredtion.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-05-05
A HELPING HAND

Is Gladly Extended by Princeton
Citizen.
There are many enthusiastic citizens
in Princeton prepared to tell their ex-
perience for the public good. Testi-
mony from such source is the best
of evidence, and will prove a "help-
ing hand" to scores of readers.
Read the following statement:
Mrs. Mary J. Chute, Princeton,
Mimi, says: About three years ago
Doan's Kidney Pills cured me of a
long-standing case of kidney trouble
and that cure proved permanent until
about year ago. At that time met
with an accident and my kidneys be-
came disordered. My back began to
pain me severely and the least sudden
movement caused sharp twinges to
dart through my loins. My head
ached great deal and I often
suffered from dizzy spells. The
kidney secretions were irregular in
passage and this weakness was a
source of great annoyance. At times
| was in so serious condition that I
could hardly get around, and in spite
of the many remedies I tried, I failed
to get any better. At last Doan's
Kidney Pills we're brought to my
attention and I procured box. They
gave me relief and am very thankful
to them
For sale by all dealers.
Price SO cents. Foster Milburn Co.,
Buffalo, N. Y, sole agents for the
United States.
Remember the name -Doan's and
take no other.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-05-05
MISS WISE SERVANT.
She Was Too Well Posted to Suit tho
New York Woman.

She Was Too Well Posted to Suit tho
New York Woman.
Some girls may be green and easily
imposed upon," said the woman, .sbut
just as many more can give their en-
ployers points on law. The girl that
came to my house the other day from
an employment agency knew more in
minute about the rights of employer
and employed than I would know in a
year. About the first thing she did
was to look out at that big hole in
the ground at the other end Of the
lot, where they are preparing to build.
She said:
eff should break any dishes while
that building is going up you couldn't
make me pay for them
II asked why not, and she Informed
me that girl working in building
that is likely to be shaken by blasting
is protected by the same rule that gov
erns employees in dining car. Owing
to the insecurity they are allowed $40
a month for breakage. Dishes valued
at less than $40 may be smashed with
impunity. She gave me a printed ac-
count Of the trouble of two friends
who had thrashed that matter out in
court and had been sustained in their
contention for twenty dollar leeway.
didn't employ that girl. don't want
to impose upon any girl, but didn't
want to hire one who knows that she
can smash my best dishes up to $50
worth and get off without paying dam
ages.'-New York Press.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-05-05
Coral That Shocks,

On the coast Of the West Indian
islands 4 curious kind of coral is
found. called "millepoca.' This has a
most extraordinary property which
makes the people who know it very
shy Of handling it. The moment you
runs through you and an agonizing
pain shoots through your jaws. You
feel as if every tooth and every nerve
and muscle connected with them was
burning. The acute pain lasts gener-
ally for about half an hour and slowly
passes off. but the effects do not dis
appear entirely for hours. The reason
of this curious shock or poisoning is a
MYSTERY
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-05-05
The Psychological Moment

els Miss Wheaton at homer asked
one Of the neighbors of the spinster as
he called at her door to get her sigma
ture to petition.
"She is that responded Celia Leahy,
three weeks over from Ireland and a
most willing handmaiden. will yez
step in. sorr?''
II should like to see her on a matter
Of business for few moments if she
is not engaged said the neighbor
Celia flung wide the door and waved
him in.
IF she has wan. he's neglectin' her
shameful she said in hoarse, conf
Dental whisper, ''for it's three weeks
tomorrer since 1 come here, and he's
not put his fut over the THRESHOLD in all
that tonne! Sure, it's your chanst!''-
Youths Companion.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-05-05
SLOW NEW YORK.
Js Actually Made the HustIing Western
Barber Sleepy.

u actually Made the Hustling Western
Barber Sleepy.
Why, say" said a visiting barber
nom the wide untrammeled west, ''you
folks here in New York are narrow,
limited, shackled, contracted, far be-
hind the age. You think you are the
human limit when really your gait is
very slow.
L went into one Of your shops here
yesterday. Nice shop, good equip
ment, everything fine and elegant, but
when saw how slow you were here
on the work it made me nervous. A
good plant, but not worked to capacity.
'They had man in chair with q
barber cutting his hair and mani
cure fixing his hands and a bootblack
backing his shoes all at the same
time, and I suppose you think here
that that's going some to have three
people work on a customer all at once.
but, goodness me, you ought to look
into my shop and see how we do things
In my part of the country!
1--WE got a shop that's every bit as
modern and up to date to the last linn
1t as anything you've got in New
York, but out there we utilize our
plant. What do you suppose we do
when man comes in that's in a hur-
~ to catch a train? Think we all lie
down and take a nap?
"Why, we put one barber to cutting
his hair and another to shaving him,
and two manicurers tackle his hands,
one on each side. We take off his
shoes, and two boys work on them,
each backing single shoe, while two
chiropodists get at him, each taking
foot, and at the same time we have
one boy brushing the customers hat
and another brushing his overcoat,
while another dusts the clothes he's
got on with q vacuum buster.
''You put three people on a man at
once and think you're doing something.
We put on eleven and think nothing
about it at all, and our town amt a
quarter as big as New York-not a
quarter
"Why, honest, this New York at
mosphere makes me sleepy!'-New
York Sun ..... a..
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-05-05
His Alternative,

Even at the tender age of four little
Benny was considering his future oc-
cupation. Mamma" he said, ''when
I'm man I'm going to have a wagon
and drive around collecting ashes"
'Why, Benny" exclaimed his mother
In horror, mamma doesn't want her
little boy to be an ash man.
"Well, then,'' replied Benny with
very self sacrificing air, 81 suppose I
could collect swill. ''-Delineator.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-05-05
An Obstructionist.

"Speakin' bout large feet" said Mr..
Erastus Pinlley, II don't know when
[ was mo- insulted dan 1 was dis aft
ernoon. l was standin' on de curb
stone facin' de house, an de police
man. he come along an says rs got to
turn around jes' little.''
'sWhat foh?''
''He says pointin' my shoes de same
way de street runs is de onlies' way
fob me to keep fun obstructin' de
sidewalk "-Washington Star.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-05-05
Church ] u T opics =. =
+ Sunday and Weekday
SWEDISH LUTHERAN.

SWEDISH LUTHERAN.
Next Sunday services will be held
in the Saron church, Greenbush, al
1880 q. NJ; Sunday school at 9:30.
Afternoon services will be held in
the Emanuel church, Princeton, al
5 o'clock; Sunday school at 2.
The trustees of the church will meet
at the parsonage next Saturday after.
noon at o'clock.
August Lundquist, Pastor.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-05-05
Not DANGEROUS,

MADAM, I thought would tell you
1 met your husband awhile ago, as I
heard he had started from home to
kill a man he quarreled WITH
ooh, sir. tell me-was my poor Will
liam shot?'
"No, madam. Your poor William
was only half shot, -Baltimore Amer
lean.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-05-05
DEPRESSING Siuhts.

If there is anything more depressing
than rain falling on an overturned
tombstone or the sight of a dining
room table covered with dirty dishes,
what is it?-Atchison Globe.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-05-05
He Knew,

Teacher-Now. Willie, tell US one of
the principal events in Roman history
and mention the date. Willie-Mark
Antony went to Egypt cos he had a
date with leopatra.-Harper's Bazaar.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-05-05
An Anomaly,

The average young woman doesn't
like to see her thirtieth birthday. Yet
when she has seen it she would like
to see it again.-Smart Set.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-05-05
The Pets.

WHEY Cat the hotel office)-The clerk
says they don't take pets, Algy, so 1
suppose Fido and you will have to put
up in the basement-Life.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-05-05
She'd Remedy That.

Mrs. Hoyle-Your husband has a
mind Of his own, my husband says
Mrs. Doyle-I'l speak to him about it
when he comes home.-New York
Press.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-05-05
So Feminine.

Lottie-1 wouldn't be in Kitt1e's
shoes for anything in the world Hat.
tie-Of course not They hurt you ter.
rbly. Harper's Bazaar.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-05-05

If you would hit the target aim lit
tie above it. Every arrow that flies
feels the attraction of earth.-Longfel-
low.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-05-05
Jack Ashore.

Fond Mother-You are never salts.
fed. Jack. When you go to sea you're
homesick. and when you come home
you're seasick.-London Punch I.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-05-05

he that loves to be flattered is
worthy of the tiatterer. -Shakespeare.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1910-08-20
Dad Bed time
k1|lNlA tie ephant -Ths AnlHal !. Is't 4
vaals

Tho Animal 4 Just
Lils q iyRalls u.


All going to tell evening said daddy to lack
which shows important 1t what he
talking Y y
old sx blind tried what
elephant looked like. $sSfS sssSF
These iyedsin India where They
blind they
they roadside passed
they the big of
could wished
they could " Sss5
Chat
them They told that
beggas
make him could
they could could with
their hands they could his size first
tall
the others the elephant Is just like great big
second blind felt leg he the
elephant round like The third stood In animal
reached
you
fifth stood animals only
instead reached his
Ii
really ke nothing
But the opinion the sixth and last blind
quite old The the
"You Eve blind men he CRIED foolish
the eldest This elephant Of which
nothing else much piece or good strong
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1910-08-20
A Big LOT SALE.

Fairmont has been nearly ten years
In getting ready for the big lot sale
announced for next Thursday by the
Monongahela Industrial Company. It
has. been nearly that long since a few
people in looking over the city saw
that 1t wouldn't be very many years
until Fairmont would be in need of
factory sites and room to grow. Even
SO, 1t came to pass, and Fairmont did
need ground for factories and room
to grow. When that time came some
700 acres of fine land In and adjoin.
ing Hickman run valley had been
purchased from q large number OF
owners and had become the property
OF a large corporation interested in
the development Of the city. The
company owning this land was largely
responsible for the bringing of the
West Virginia Owens Bottle Machine
plant to the city and it aided most
materially in locating the Willetts
glass house supply factory here. Now,
the company is getting ready to sell
lots to home builders near these fac.
tories. The location Of the company's
land is almost ideal, the demand for
places for people to live is urgent,
hence the time seems ripe for the
company to make a great clean up
sale on the 25th. The development
on the East side Of the river has
been phenomenal in the past few
months and It has only begun. II
will not be many years until hundreds
Of new homes will be built in the
neighborhood Of the big new indus.
tries out Morgantown avenue. Wise
investors will do well to get in on
the good things coming out East
Park way" and good time to do
1t will be at the big lot sale next
Thursday. Read the advertisement
on page OF this paper.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1910-08-20
|(3I(s[gl5|I[i'|'!l[|[,l|;||!l[G |
((M(S(S(SQHesZGS!21
Mexlco's Centennial.
Omaha Bee,

ohhaho bSC.
Mexico will celebrate the one hun
dredth anniversary of its independ-
ence on September Is, and 1t proposes
to make the day an epoch in its ca.
reer 1t will naturally be that, for 1t
will mark the close and beginning
alike of the most eventful periods of
Mexican history. The country has
come long way toward the goal OF
actual independence and democracy
since Costilla wrested the land from
Spain, but 1t has long way to go be.
fore 1t reaches that goal. Eventful as
have been these 100 years, the next rs
will undoubtedly prove more prolific
of craftsmanship If the republic
keeps up its proper measure Of prog
ress.
Democracy never has unfolded as
readily under the rays Of the trop
les as in the temperate zone, and yet
the fact that the seed will grow in this
southern sphere is proof enough that
mature plant may be developed. PEG
pie may ask what MeXicans can claim
as really distinguishing them as re
public, and the answer is fraught with
some notifications. for 1t is more re
public in name than In fact. Yet ever
though one.third of its constitutional
| life has been spent under the reign Of
one man. 1t has taken the first step to
ward popular government.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1910-08-20
What Republicans Have Done.

Levy for state tax has been fixed
at 4kc on the 500 valuation by, the
board of public works which had a
meeting Off the purpose OF fixing the
levy last Wednesday at Charleston.
This levy is the lowest ever made
In the history of the state of West
Virginia and is reduction of one.
half a cent under last years levy.
AT the meeting Of the. board 1t was
shown that during the past year less
than 100000 has been necessary for
the maintenance Of the state. A
comparison was suggested by one of
the officials who counted out the fact
that at the time of the eRpublican
ascendency in West Virginia after the
Democrats had been in control the
levy was 35c on the 500 while 1t is
now comparatively, nothing.-Wetzel
| Republican,
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1910-08-20
, Good Examples.

Rather a pity that more Of the
younger jeojle Of town did not go
to. the meetings of the Veterans held
here. 1t would have been most
practical lesson Of patriotism. The
children Of today are growing up un.
der conditions which perhaps tend
TO make light Of the old.fashioneed
love Of country that produced the
brave soldiers Of the Civil War. There
Isl growing desire for notoriety
which is very unhealthy. The multi.
tude of heroic deeds done in the
great conflict Of the sixties far away
from any spectators are good exam.
pies to recall to the minds OF the
younger generation.-Grafton Republi.
can,
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1910-08-20
He straxed From cann,

His name was Jimmy Strunk and
one of those who took a fancy to the
old man was Dennis Ryan, police
man. 1t was regular habit OF jim
my to join the Salvation Army but he
never stayed. He was not enduring
enough to keep him sober.
One night, when he was having a
fall from grace, he ran across his
friend, Ryan.
Hello, comrade," called Dennis, as
soon as he grasped the mans condi.
ton. What army do you belong to-"
81 belong" replied Jimmy, who had
just become converted for the TWEEN.
tieth time. ito the army of the Lord.
Ryan looked at him a moment, un.
certain just what to do with him
Then, as he grasped his arm and walk.
ed toward the patrol box:
Well" he said, you're long
ways from camp."-Philadelphia
Times.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1910-08-20
DAILY DIET HINTS
By DR.. T. j. ALLEN
Food Specialist.
FEEDING A.. MEANS TO AN
END.

The draft horse could not do
the work Of the race horse, not
because he is inferior In
strength, but because his en-
ergy is utilized in different
channel. So the brain worker
could not no the work Of tho
porter without gradually adapt
ing himself to It. Man cannot
compete with the horse or tho
eagle In flight, but In the auto
mobile he has already outrun
the horse, and the flying ma
chine will yet give him wings.
An OK has four stomachs and Is
little moro than a digestive ap-
paratus, spending nine.tenths Of
its vitality In alimentation, In
Guiding Its time. But mind Is
the measure Of man, and his
feeding is only a means to an
end. To discover how to main
tain an equal or superior degree
Of health while Increasing the
working capacity, by reducing,
the expenditure Of vitality for,
digestion and elimination, Is a
purpose no less Important than
to make two blades Of grass.
grow where but one grew be-
fore. \
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1910-08-20
Sensible Doctrine.

There is a strong disposition on
the part of some very good Repub.
licans to hold responsible certain can
didates for the sins Of the State Com
mittee. This action cannot be ap.
proved by this paper. 1t would be
better to suffer those wrongs, and
wait until 1912, and then go to work
in earnest to GUST that gang. Re,
member that Wetzel county Repub.
ilcans are not suffering alone. but the
counties of Harrison, Cabell, lincoln,
have felt tLhe tyrannical hand of the
State Committee.-Wetzel Tribune.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1910-08-20

ness OF Iowa Republicans. They are
Just as firmly attached to the doc.
trtne .of protection as Is I. the sen.
ator from Rhode Island, and they
will be at the camp fire watching,
defending this doctrine of our party
when others have gone weary to their
rest" =
II Mr.. Davis Is as enthusiastic over
free trade as Senator's Cummins and
Deliver he should withdraw from the
congressional race and announce his
intention OF supporting the Republic.
can nominee of this district.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1910-08-20
Kaffir Calls a Buffer.

A good story is told of Chirgwin,
the celebrated white.eged Kafiir.
Chirkwin was due to fulfil an engage.
ment in the provinces. and arrived at
'Euston few minutes before the de.
parture OF his train. Hastily purchas.
ing his ticket he cast about for seat.
The train was crowded with the ex-
ceptlon OF one compartment in cor.
ner Of which rested large travelling
case In company with stout.faced In.
dividual. Chirgwin promptly made
for this but was accosted by the red
faced man as follows:
THAT seat belongs to friend OF
mine. That's his bag, and he will be
back in minute"
"All right" murmured Chirgwin,
easily. "I'll wait here till he comes"
Whereupon the fat man grunted,
and looked anything but amiable.
The minutes passed, and finally, to
the amusement Of the other passen-
gers and the chagrin OF the greedy in
dividual In the corner Of the compart.
ment. the train began steaming out Of
| the station.
~ say, old chap" exclaimed Chirg.
win, grayely, your friend has lost his
train. But we mustn't let him lose his
luggage, eh?"
With this observation Chirgwin
gripped the travelling case expeditions
| ". flung 1t through the window on to
the platform and dropped quietly into
the vacant seat. The feelings OF the
red-faced man. who thus watched the
disappearance Of his luggage may be
liar better imagined than described
Scraps.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1910-08-20
Exchange OF Desires.

Mrs. Sallow-I married you. Nicode.
mus. to spite Niphalet, Winter.
Mr.. Sallow-I g4Sh you'd married FL
to spite .mes g Z ~
Singleton understand you had a
pretty lively times at the club last
night.
Wedmore-I Thought so until l got
home.-Boston Transcript.
l"Trackless trolley cars are being
used in some of the English cities"
"H6w, do the coal wagon drivers
managed to keep them blocked? -Chi.
cago Record-Herald
Bill-This paper says that bees were
unknown to the Indians.
Jill-Yes, believe it was the trad.
ers who used to sting them.-Human
Life.
think I'll so to Panama
And have little look
Then put the things never saw
Into book. s.
pittsburg Post.
Your friend Biggett said Smartley
Is n sceptic. What does he mean by
that?. x
"He means that Smartley denies
something that Biggett believes to be
true, that's all."2Catholic Standard
and Times.
The kings jester looked out upon
the angry mob surrounding the royal
palace. Sgr
After YOU Alphonse,n he said, and
despite the extreme gravity of the
situation the king. and all his court.
iers laughed in the, hearty, Castillian
fashion.-St.. Louis Post-Dispatch.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1910-08-20

The Wheeling Register is bad pa
per. 1t advertises to the world that
its town Is in a sorry plight indus.
trially, all because 1t wants to make
a few votes for the Democratic nom.
inee for Congress. With practically
every other city in the State booming
1t seems to be pity that Wheeling
Is ION the rocks" so badly as is rep.
resented by the Register. That is the
Democratic way though, to throw
the hooks" into a town and then put
the blame on the tariff.