Arizona republican., 1910-05-26
THE. HUMORs OF .DUEl|NG IN SOME WAYS FELL SHORT
A Few of the Many Funny Things on
 Fields of Honor.

A long and interesting chapter
 might be written on the humOrs of duels which never came off, or which
 in some way fell short of deserving i the name A case which occurred d ! few years ago in Paris. the particular home and harvest field of the hab tual duelist, merits first place A | peaceable-looking gentleman was walking down one of the boulevards with d lady on his arm, when out of q cafe sprang a man who dealt him a | violent kick. The victim turned, only to meet the mortified apologies of the aggressor, who begged to assure hm
 that it was wholly a mistake in iden tity and instead of insisting upon an exchange of cards and the other GUS
 tOmary forms, the kicked man an
 swered. with much warmth, but ad-
 mirable self-control: "I can not, sir.
 accept your expression of regret as | sufficient Your action may have
 been mistake, as you say, rut ac- quaintances of mine may have wit messed it. and will go away and spread
 the news that I have sul mitted to an : insult without averaging i-. l must, therefore. and instantly, slap your | face with equal publicity" The other most becominglY assented. the first | sufferer administered q ringing blow on his ear, md the affair ended with | entire satisfaction on both sides
 { CHASED A SWoRDsMAN 1Ia
 MILES.
 Weak or timid fencers are sorle-
 times taught by their masters to keep
 a more skilful antagonist busy by fix 1 ing the sword in one position. aimed straight at his sword hand. and then not moving except to retreat when pressed too hard. IL IS highly dis i tressing to an accomplished swords
 man to have to fare a learner so in structed. for il means q great outlay
 of enegry and wind te liittla pur-
 pose. Comte de Dion once thus
 chased q retreating adversary across
 plowed fields for a mile and a half
 and finally under the wheels of a cab
 for the poor satisfaction of giving him
 a slight prod in the back. Doctor { Clemenceau, in his famous duel witt M Deschanel. after a swift and wear isome pursuit, halted, shouldered hi: rapier like a walking stick. and strol leb back to his original place. throw ing the cOntemptuous remark ovel his shoulder: And now, monsieur, will wait for you here" Catulle Men des had a similar run after Lugn, Poe through the forest of Saint Ger main, which he ended by flinging hi own sword into the bushes, with tn angry exclamation: T am willing [, die from exhaustion by the roadside ! if need be. but not rom running afte [ q poltroon."
 ll Another incident occurred in TOu \ louse, where a lawyer of some not ' named Cazneuve was called out by landed proprietor whom he had of ! tended by speech in court. He re paired at once to d fencing master a. ! he knew nothing whatever abOu [ handling a sword. This teacher gay. him the usual advice about keepinl his adversary at arms length witt ' the poised and immovable raper bu strongly enjoined him not to retreat IL SD happened that the landed pro. prietor. being equally ignorant ap. piled to the same master for instruc. tion. The master, who was somewhat of wag, gave him the lawyers les son in duplicate. When the two mer met, and their seconds had duly placed them. a long and tedious still ness ensued. For more than five min. | utes each foeman stood with hi sword arm extended at full length waiting for the other to advance Then the seconds intervened, claiming that both had proved. themselves mer of honor and courage. and that noth- ing further was necessary but ~ tC
 shake hands and be reconciled.
 MADE A FUTURE FIGHT POS SiBLE.
 A generous and brave. but very ec-
 centric, Virginia planter, named Hn Carter, who had once been an officer in the United States navy, had a fist fight one day with his plantation | overseer and came off second best He therefor challenged the overseer to formal duel, but the lat
 ter declined on the ground that, being
 a husband father, he was under ob- ligation not to risk leaving his family destitute. Carter at once removed that
 objection by setting upon the family a comfortable annuity. Then every thing was got ready for the fight, but just as the two men faced each other the sheriff arrived on the scene, took
 them into custody and had them bound over to keep the peace. MT Carter did not, however, change the deed of gift with which he had pro- vided for the overseers family, re- marking that he might wish some
 time to resume the interrupted fight
 and hence would rather keep every
 thing in readiness for prompt action Voltaire's dueling correspondence
 was caustic, but hardly more so than
 that of the late Doctor Tanner, long
 a prominent figure in British politics
 once. when he had asked in parlia-
 ment whether it was true that the
 Duke of Cambridge had resigned his commission as. commander in chief. a
 certain Major Jones became so irate
 that he challenged Tanner by tele- graph as follows:
 Tn reply to your despicable ques- 1 tion about the Duke of Cambridge, I designate you a coward. Delighted
 to give you satisfaction across the
 water"
 Doctor Tanner instantly wired:
 1 "Will meet you tomorrow in Con-
 stantinople, under the tower of Gala
 ta, midnight Being challenged, pre-
 fer torpedoes. Bring another ass"
 Major Jones hurried back this dis