The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-02-11
BOSTON BALLAD
BOOSTS THE BEAN
New England Thinks Turck Diagno.
sis Of Diet Is Wrong-No Pie at
Breakfast Now

BOSTON. Mass. Feb. New Eng
lands calm was little ruffied and its
bill of fare not changed at all today
when it read the talk OF DR. Fenton
B. Turck OF Chicago on how it's diet
was deteriorating the human race. Dr.
Turck said the Boston diet has made
race OF lank, lean, nasalspeakins
dyspeptics.
Boston folks were inclined TO treat
the criticism lippantly. few taking
other than light view of IT, Eut
everybody here, no matter what their
form OF expression. agreed that the
Chicago doctor was mistaken in his
diagnosis.
DR.. George Edmund Stackpole a
Harvard graduate, and a successful
practitioner since 1870, gave "A serious
reply To the Chicagoan's opinion. DR.
Stackpole defended the bean and the
biscuit, and made sarcastic allusion
to DR.. Turck's fitness for his subject
But most everybody else who said
anything about il, said 1t humorously
One of the sort OF replies was given
by l.. d. G.. Bentley, who Versed his
sentiments in a local newspaper in
the following, entitled "A Yankees
Answer:
i Well maybe DR. Turck is right
And eastern folks all wrong,
i We may consume too many beans
II That make as lank and long;
1 Perhaps We gorge ourselves on pie
III When palmer food would do,
| Eat doughnuts. which we shouldn't. but
/ don't mind telling YOU
II eating other kinds OF food
ii VIII change Us folks throughout.
ITher = really no induCcment
I'M what this man holds out
HID II uCh rather be a skinny.
Always talking through my nose.
Nun, hing tablets for dyspepsia,
III Mixing any kind OF dose.
Hi New England ! may live in.
Where We have To scratch and dig.
Whfre we may be weak and scrawny,
Where We don't grow very big.
No. never would be happy. like
Those folks across the sea.
a peasant In Bulgaria
H. don't sound good TO me-.
They don't eat pie for breakfast in
this region any more, according to
one statistician who sought To put DR..
NTurck right on the diet question
Or. Turck has just heard the ira.
Editions which are a part of a vanished
and not too glorious past" he said
"Mince pie for breakfast is a legend
OF the black walnut furniture and
plush covered photograph album
Iperlod; Il never really obtained a
Igreat bold in New England, anyway.
and was mainly used as a symbol Of
Ignorance. When in a sman town it
was noticed that any citizen was get
ting rich. the form used by his neigh.
bors to express that disgraceful suspi-
cion was to pass around the rumor
that his family had mince pie for
breakfast
AS 10 the rest of Or Turcks state
ment. the Puritans were lankier, more
nasal. and less fayorably comparable
To the Bulgar than their descendants
are-they were not so dyspeptic. be
cause they never went TO Chicago, and
so were never forced TO eat Chicago
cooking"
Well Of course" said the manager
4 OF n beanery in Newspaper row. 1T is
. true that beans are one OF our staple
1 dishes. We still sell more beans than
\ anything else But doughnuts are our
staple wonder; we make seventy
. dozen a day and often have TO go to-
4 press with second edition in the
. afternoon. Still. ! don't see any de-
\ terioration in our customers in the last
II ten years.
One OF the salesladies in another
restaurant said she hadn't noticed any
4 deterioration in her customers, either
. though she has sold more beans In the
last fortnight than ever before in ner
'experience.
Decline" said she. There's no
decline about it; my customers never
ldecline anything What? Why, no.
They're not deteriorating; they're
nicer every day They're eating fewer
beet pies and more beans.
"In the last ten years said a
lBeacon-st doctor II haven't had half
1.-The stomach trouble-amOng my pa
ltients-that | had in ten years preced-
! ling. People are eating more sensibly:
1.-THE anaconda method among business
men is disappearing and folks are
lFletcherzing more. AS TO beans,
|ldoughnuts. mince pie-they will never
lsap the manhood Of New England
who is this Or. Turck?' was the
way DR. Stackpole began. These am
'bitious young physicians often get lost
lin academic ideas and begin talking
for publication with the result that
they make themselves-but nobody
lelse-beleve they are originating
something"
Good wholesome food, aud God
knows that good beans. hot biscuits
and doughnuts are wholesome, never
caused any New Englander 60 have
dyspepsia New Englanders are the
hardest worked people in the world.
and the dyspepsia they are kin to was
born of overwork and loss of sleep.