The Washington herald., 1910-03-16


Since the death OF Representative Cush-
man and the passing OF J. Adam Bede.
the House of Representatives has been
without a real wit. but Representative
Claude Kitchin is fast becoming a shin
ing light when it comes to humorous
speeches.
His remarks on the post-office appro-
priation bill were notable. and during
their delivery the members Of the House
were in an almost continual uproar. He
took occasion to josh the insurgent Re
pubiicans. and right merrily did he do
so. In the course OF his remarks Mr.
I<itchin said he was reminded OF an
incident. He saw published in a Re
publican newspaper an incident too good
10 keep. AS the story goes. the whip
for the majority. Mr.. Dwight, approached
his floor leader and said:
Mr.. Payne. they are going 10 try TO
get Mr. Cannon to decline to be a can
didste for the speakership in the next
Congress, and I understand that IL he
declines Mr.. Diekema is going TO be a
candidate to succeed him."
The serene gentleman from New York
replied:
''Diekema. Diekemal Why. who is
Diekema. and where is he from"
Abiding TO tho insurgents and their
outcry against Uncle joe Mr.. Kitehin
tells this story on himself:
Some years ago I was IN New York.
and ] went TO hear Joe Jefferson PLAY
Rip Van Wrinkle. As I heard him tell
his pathetic story. found myself with
my handkerchief 10 my face. wiping
away the tears looked about and saw
5000 others doing the sane thing. Then
caught myself. and said, What a fool
I am, crying over that miserable fellow
on the stage. when the man behind those
rags is a millionaire and never felt the
want Of a luxury. He is acting. simply
acting. Back went my handkerchief
into my pocket
And now, Mr. Chairman. when I look
around me and contemplate this pitt
able picture, I am overwhelmed with
emotions. What a fool am! The whole
hosts OF insurgents and near-insurgents
are acting. SIMPLY acting
Last May Rodman Wanamaker gave a
dinner in New York City in honor Of
Col. William f. Cody, better known as
Buffalo Bill" The dinner was re-
markabIe gathering. and among the
guests were such distinguished men as
Gen. Miles. Gen. Wood. Chief IronshelI.
and the great Indian artist. Frederic
Remington.
At the dinner Mr.. Wanamaker's idea
OF erecting a heroic statue to the Indian
in New York Harbor formed the prin-
oipai topic of discussion. The scheme
was strongly Endorsed by all the speak
ers. President Taft and Vice President
Sherman are both favorable to It,
In conformity with the suggestion,
Representative Goulden has introduced
in the House and Senator Depew IN the
Senate a bill for the erection Of such
statue without expense to the United
States. and providing for a commission !
10 select site. to select a design. and |
to contract for the construction OF the |
memorial
Smce tle recent disclosures In refer /
enee to Senator JEFF Davis. the rip-roar-
ing octopus slayer from Arkansas has |
been very quiet in the Senate JEFF !
Davis reminds me. said a prominent /
Southern Senator, ''of a story told on the /
sexton OF my church down home
The choir of the church had suffered |
many changes and q former choir singer /
met the sexton one day and said. We'll. |
Gohn. how IS the choir getting along?' /
'Well,' says John. Mr.. Blank, that choir /
Of ours is jest like an old wash bller, |
you solder 1t UP IN one place and It busts
open in another So you and it busts |
in dread lest Davis viii duplicate the
story or the wash boiler" continued the |
Senator.
Two members OF Congress were seated 1
In the lobby of weIl-known hotel cor
versing on the affairs OF the nation. An
acquaintance passed who practiced law In /
the courts and also before the Patent /
Office. One of the members said to the |
other. What sort OF a lawyer is Mr.. /
-" We'll" replied the other states
nan. when he is with ordinary lawyers /
he is a HI OF patent attorney, and /
when he is with patent attorneys he is a |
hi of a lawyer"