davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

"Pop. what is what they call the
underworld"
That part OF the world, my son
who are trying to find out what is the
matter with their automobiles"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25
Uncertain lows

Yes" said the great men. there
was time when ! longed to be ia.
nous. but that Is thing of the past.
why has fame lost its attractions
for you?" we asked
This morning" answered the e. m.
Il smoked a cigar that was named
after me-"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25
Easily Lolted Off

There seems to be quite a disturb
ance down at the Forks"
Yep; old man Peasley has just fell
often Their water wagon"
is that SO? He didn't stay on board
very long?"
Whit could Their DUN fool expect7
He couldn't hold on with a gallon Jug
Of ticker in his arms!"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25
A Falling Career.
couple

How was 1t that young couple
Glanced to quarrel?"
oh. he fell down on his luck. then
he began to fall short of giving her
money. then they both fell out. and
then what he thought was good
speculative thing fell in his way and
he fell for It. That's all"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

What do you suppose those vel
low sireaks mean that scientists have
lately observed on the planet Mars7-
Some MsTtian With yellow auts
IL probably 10Y riding"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25
A Theory

Infant prodigios are hard to un.
derstand." said the man who IS cas-.
lily impressed.
Il don't think So" replied Miss
Cayenne. AS a rule they are simply
young people with highly imaginative
parents"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

"The price OF living is certainly get.
ting high. Everything is going up"
1T surely is."
We even have to pay more for our
legislatures"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

AS defense in a separation suit a
taxi chauffeur alleges that he makes
only eight dollars a day. The wife
claims that he draws down s11O a
week. OF either sum any railway en-.
gineer aud most college professors
might be envious.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

A woman of seventy-seven has been
arrested and held in Washington for
running a poker game. Which shows
that one Is never too old to enjoy the
good old American game.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

Rev. DIR. Thirdly I nope, my youne
friend. that during the Lenten season
you will observe Friday as fast day.
lmpecunfus-You bet My salary In
always gone by Thursday night.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25
ICind-Hearted.

Patience-she is very kind to her
dog believe.
Patrice-Oh yes; she never gives
! him anything to eat she cooks her
self!-Yonkers Statesman.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25
His Polnts.

"A dog represents two extremes"
What are they?"
One Is a scenter OF gravity and the
other a general wag."
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

While ION the carpet" in New York
following charge that he was VIC
Iating the pure food lay. a manurac.
turer of breakfast food declared that
he discovered his proc1ct through Oh
serving the sickness - his horse
while he himself was suffering from
dyspepsia. lie emulated the horse
and as result Is now a healthy man
This Is supposed 20 warrant the ad.
mission Of bran and middlings 20 the
breakfast table
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

One of the ocuIists announces that
Few people are able to see things as
they are. This is perfectly true, es
pecially with regard to the ability of
people to see things which affect them
personally.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25
Erenoh PnlItenenn

She taking the place he has offered
her)--So sorry to deprive you OF your
seat.
Monsicur-Ah. no depravity, mees.-
Sketch.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25
MOvinO.

Oh. yesterday was moving day
And things were In a tumble;
1 lost two 1ingles on the way.
But guess / mustn't grumble.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

Texas Is coming out strong in many
ways, and particularly in onion cul
ture. Tat state reports an extraor
binary expansion in railroad building.
development of sections heretofore nm.
settled. creation OF various industries
In addition 10 farming and big boom
IN onion growing. The Texas onion
has practically supplanted the Bermu.
da variety in this country, a fact that
almost takes the breath away.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

incidentally, take note that the Ia.
test life saving signal, which now may
summon one take drink or lend a
dollar, Is not &C. Q. d." but IS. o. S."
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

One OF the latest wrinkles in Ar.
kansas is to raise large quantities Of
rice by an improved American meth.
cd. Every state can do something
new and valuable to increase the food
supply.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25
a Sure Sion

i know that spring is here at last,
i have one sign that never fools;
Last night my neighbor came to mo
And borrowed all my garden tools.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

San Francisco ought TO take thai
little earthquake as u timely warning
TO be good.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

what is sometimes paraded as
heart-warming international romance
generally proves to be nothing more
than a sordid commercial affair.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25
All In a Name.

why do you call your yacht the
Dentist?"
Because ] want her to know what
TO do in the teeth Of a gale"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

Science Is pretty good, but 1t has
not yet identified the whooping-cough
germ, to say nothing of isolating it out
OF the small boys reach.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

Every hen will have TO be taught Il
lay her egg under an automatic datin,
stamp.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

Buy your own home in the country
and become a perennial instead OF
hardy annual
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

There is no way for the house fly
to get arbitration in the war the Chi
cago health department is making OF
It.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

Somebody has enunciated the the
DRY that sleeping in church is a dis.
ease. Well, II will gradually diminish.
now that the golf season is coming on
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

nicely In getting past the nature faks
detectors.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

Passengers in France who stayed
alcft two honrs In an aeroplane found
the earth still running nicely on theil
return.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

Paris enthusiasts who are plannin
TO prevent the slaughter OF African
fauna are n year too slow.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

The Chinese wall was finished.
Il do all my fence mending at one
HEX" announced the emperor.
Thus he proved himself a statesman
instead of politician
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25
The Man Lower Down.

"The beef trust doesn't worry me
any,"
What then is your worry?"
The marketman who won't trust -
Boston Herald.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

The department Of agriculture will
live In historic gratitude n IL can
get up n cook book that will give the
check book a vacation.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

Women's eyes are the only weapons
left her In Chicago.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

Messages from Africa are to the ei
fect that Col. Roosevelt is rs hard a
nails. This explains why the tsets
Hy was stung.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

What causes divorce? Bum grub"
shouts the army OF dyspeptics.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

Get into the new census by al
means. All our best people are head
ing for It.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

OF course, you understand there
wouldn't be so much bargain.counter
advice floating around n Il were
really worth anything
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

When the pocket wireless really
comes into use 4 man no longer will
be able 10 forget to mail his wife's
letters.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

No fight against the hat pin vii
gain enough of victory to send femi
nine fashions back to bonnet strings
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25
Barber-Your hair is coming out on
Hard 70 Reat

The shortest man I've ever met
Upon this earthly star.
Refused TO drink "A scent done"
But took a dime cigar.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

Poorly cooked food often drives
men to drink and women to suicide.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

Poultry farmers can point proudly
TO the fact that so far as they know
there is no such thing as eggine On
the market
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25

The Tenderfoot-How did Alkali Ike
meet his death?
The Westerner-He didn't meet 1t.
Their sheriff overlook him.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1910-05-25
a Statesman.

"Oh! you're not so many!-
II guess / am; I'm one of triplets'
The Washington herald., 1910-11-13
TAX ON MILLIONS
PAID By GERMANS
Income Statistics Show Big
Growth OF Fortunes.

Berlin, Nov. ia German income tax
statistieian gives interesting particulars
OF the comparatively recent growth Of
large private fortunes in the Fatherland
Heading the list is Frau Bertha
Krupp Won Bohlen- Halbach. who was be-
fore her marriage Germany's wealthiest
heiress- She has TO pay on Si6, 10000
Five years ago she was still richer. and
contributed 10 the imperial exchequer on
the basis of fortune OF S5S,J010o0,
Next comes Prince Henckel Won DON
nersmarck. the Kaisers friend and owner
of various industrial undertakings, who
has Increased his fortune during the last
fifteen years from 100000 10 $iA. $4,000
The third is the Duke of Ujest. of the
Hohenlohe family, a bachelor, who has
improved himself in the last decade from
Sl3. 500. 600 To So. 75o,O 600.
The fourth in order OF riches is Baron
Goldschmidt- Rothschild. Of Frankfort.
who owns SIS. 750C00 The greatest cap
italist Of Berlin is Ernest Won Mendels-
sohn- Bartholdy. of the banking firm Of
that name. who possesses SO, 10000. He
however. comes only seventeenth on the
general list The sixteen richest people
in Germany do not reside in the cap
itaL The modest town Of Kassel has a
magnate. Karl Henschel. whose wealth
amounts 10 $ll. 10000
The Washington herald., 1910-11-13
DEATH CLAIMS MELTON PRIOR.
English Artist-War Correspondent
Had Long Record.

London, Nov. 12.-Melton Prior the
artist-war correspondent. who died last
week. had a long record of active
service. He represented the Illustrated
London News in twenty-fouT campaigns.
besides several revolutions. HIS first for
eign service was in the Ashanti war of
1873. Ia the following year he was in the
thick of the Carlist rising. He saw the
Herzogovinian, Servian. Turkish. Eaffir.
Basuto. Zulu. and Boer wars, the Egypt
ian campaign, the Sudan expedition, the
Burmese war, the rebellions in Venezu-
Ella. Brazil and Argentina, the Matabele
and Afridi wars. the Northwest frontier
campaign IN India. and the Cretan insur-
rectiOn In 1903 lac was in the SOmaliIand
expedition aud in 1904 in the RussO-Japa-
nese war. Between 1872 and 1856 Prior
passed only one year in which he was
not seeing service in the field. He went
through the siege OF Ladysmith and saw
the destruction Of Baker Pasha's army at
FL Teb.
Prior used to tell a story of how
dream once saved. his life. On his way
10 South Africa he dreamed that he saw
himself shot and witnessed his own flu
neral. Later. after his arrival in South
Africa, he received a letter from his
mother describing the same dream and
begging him not TO go to the relief OF
EshOwe. He was so impressed by the CO.
incidence that he obtained a substitute.
and was firmly convinced that by doing
SO he saved his life.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-13
WAR ON THE APACHES.
French Police HIVE Plan IN Arm All
Honest Men.

Paris. Nov PA proposal to arm all
honest men and disarm the apaches IS
Under serious consideration by the Paris
police. who are at their wits end 10 sup
press that criminal fraternity NJ. Hon
norat. chief OF the first division at the
prefecture OF police. IS occupying him
self particularly with the project He
points out that the law fOrbids the carry
ins of arms. but In practice every apache
Is armed with a revolver or two and a
couple of daggers, while respectable folks
as a rule go unarned
NJ HOnnOrat proposes that for year
projects subpTefects. mayors and police
magistrates shall be authorized TO issue
a permit TO every man OF respectable
character TO carry arms and that the
police shall have power TO search sus-
pected persons for arms. In addition. he
would arrange that except during work
ing hours no one should be allowed to
carry tools or implements that might be
used as weapons In order to simplify
the issuing of the permits certain classes
would have the right TO bear arms by
virtue Of their office, such as the elected
members of any public body all servants
of the state, whether civil or military,
and all persons entitled to wear civil or
military decoration. In this way NJ. Hon
norat believes that the apaches would
soon he compelled to cease their criminal
activities or else would be gradually
killed off
If NJ. Honnorat's proposal is approved
by the government 4 bill viii be sub
mitted 10 Parliament to give legal effect
10 it,
The Washington herald., 1910-11-13
RED TAPE IN PRUSSIA.
Administrative Machinery Works
Smoothly After a Long Delay.

Berlin, Nov. 12.-The following story of
red tape. which is vouched for by the
Berlin Tagliche Rundschau, is hard to
beat even in the cradle of Prussian Off
cialdom. Not long ago the head mis-
tress of a high school for girls notified
the authorities that there was a rat on
the premises and asked that a man might
be sent TO kin it. The request was duly
noted, but as the official rat catcher was
not Immediately available the head mis-
tress was advised to feed the beast in
the meantime so that the rat catcher
should not make fruitless journey.
This she did for some weeks. and as
the rat killer did not put in an appear
ance She made a second application. The
original request. she was informed. had
been mislaid but help would be sent In
a few days.
Weeks passed and one day the rat was
found dead and was buried in the gar
den in the presence OF the head mistress.
A day or so later an official carrying a
bundle OF documents lin the matter of
the rat brought a message TO the effect
that the head mistress should take steps
to destroy the rat at her own expense,
as the official rat catcher could not come
before the end of November. Upon being
informed that the rat was dead and
buried the official retired, but came back
the next day asking for a written certis-
cate to show LAT the rat vase reany
dead He got it. and the administrative
machine Is once more working smoothly.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-13
BARRISTER RANKS HIGH.
Occupies Strange Place Ina Eyes of
British LAW

London, Nov. 12-The British barrister
has a somewhat strange place in the eye
OF the British law He alone may plead
In cases tried before judges Of the high
courts. The lower branch Of the profess
sion. the solicitors, deal directly with
the client, but II a case has 10 go before
one Of the higher courts counsel must be
briefed for both sides unless the prose
cutor or defendant elect to conduct their
own case. The position OF the barrister
is thus a privileged one. and his services
command a high price First OF all,
there Is the fee on acceptance Of the
brief. and then the daily ''refresher'' as
long as the case lasts
II may seem strange, but these fees
are not recoverable al law II you do
not pay your counsel, he has no legal
means OF making YOU do so. II was
doubtless owing to this fact that up To
quite recent times the baTristers fee and
refreshers were paid daily. 4 relic of
oleen days still remains in the black
gown worn BY all barristers IN court.
What looks like "a long narrow streamer
hanging down in front from below the
shoulder is a bag, into which the counsel
puts his ready money fees before he be-
gins his work
To-day the harriSter employs a clerk,
who, as one Of his most important duties.
has TO collect fees from those solicitors
who do not send along a check with
sufficient promptness.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-13
LONDON HAS NEW MALADY.
might and Morning Cold" Latest
Cause for Suffering.

London. Nov 12-The might and morn
ing cold" or semi-influenza, is the latest
malady that hundreds of Iondoners are
suffering from at the present time. This
curious complaint has been described b.
one well-known physician as a half
hearted sort of influenza that does not
seem to be able to make UP its mind TO
get 10 business" Those who have suf-
fered from it say it is only apparent dur
ing the early hours of the day and at
nighttime
Dr. Forbes Winslow, the well-known
London physician, gave a most interest
ing explanation of the might and morn
ing cold"
mistake" he said, Il should say to my
self. Now I'm in for a bad cold And
sure enough in a short time IsshOuld be-
gin 10 sneeze and cough violently. But il
/ did not have time 10 think of my miss
ing overcoat there would be no danger at
all of the sneezing and coughing fits I
Tad brought on by worrying about NY
self
1t Is just the same with the people who
suffer from heavy colds I'm the morning
and evening and feel perfectly well dur.
ing the rest of the day II is only the
effect of mind on matter Men and won-
en- are too busy to think of themselves
IN the daytime and in consequence their
cold vanishes; but directly their mind Is
unoccupied and they begin to consider
themselves again they remember the cold
and by the mental suggestion bring it on
once more"
The Washington herald., 1910-11-13
CASE BATTLES COURT.
Judges Find English Law
Not So Simple.
ARGUMENT OF GAME BREEDER
Raising of PheaSants for RestOck-
Ing Big Estates During on season
and without Dealers License
Reaches Hitch Before High London
Justice-COurt Struggles Hard.

London. Nov le.--Eyen in England
sometimes the law is an ass" The pub
lie press during the last few days has
pointed with pride to the scandalous con
trast Cfor the United States in the ad-
ministratiOn OF the criminal law on the
Two sides Of the Atlantic The most SEN
sational murder case of the present cen
fury is disposed of in London quietly.
fairly, and with the exclusion Of all mere
BY technical obstacles in d dignihed triai
of five days duration
But the English law is not always So
simple in its administration or in such
close alliance with common sense. A case
came on appeal the other day before the
High Court which even the clear and re
sourcefuI brain of the Lord Chief Justice
could not solve according 20 the common
rules Of equity. A breeder of pheasants
was prosecuted by the internal revenue
authorities because he did not hold a
game dealers license.
The court said ii was obliged 20 hold
that breeder OF pheasants for the pur-
pose OF sale was a game dealer. as the
law made no distinction between game
birds dead or alive
But if you hold that I am d game
dealer pointed out the bewildered de-
PENDANT, then / become liable 10 heavy
penalties under another clause of the law.
which fOrbids a game dealer To have i'm
his possession any game bird, alive or
dead, during the close season" The bust
ness of raising pheasants for restocking
big estates which are denuded of birds
during the shooting season is a large one
in England, and the breeding on these
pheasant farms must Of course take place
during the close time In the spring
The court struggled hard with the di-
lemma, but in the end the judges, after
expressing the greatest sympathy vita
the victim, acknowledged their inability
to reach any equitable solution of the
problem as IL stands
The Washington herald., 1910-11-13
BAN ON KURoPATKIN.
Book on ManchurIan Campaign
Barred from Russian Libraries.

Book on MRnchurIan Campaign
Barred from Russian Libraries.
st. Petersburg, Nov. 12-Gen. Kuropat-
kin's four-volume history of the Manchu-
rian campaign has never been legally
published in Russia. Two or three hun
dred copies of the work have been cir
eulated by the Cars permission among
leading men in the empire. Count White
has taken strong objection to passages In
the book which represent him as having
favored financially the calamitOus Yalu
timber concession which precipitated ia
pans action. Ina answering Kuropatkin,
Count Witte has not been allowed to pub
lish his pamphlet. called a Necessary
Explanation" in the ordinary way, but
only to address it to those persons who
were allowed TO receive the history.
Count Witte maintains that he twice
tesisted in vain the operations of Gen.
Berobrasoff and his friends, including
the Cars brother-in-law. Alexander Mi
kailovitch who involved the government
in that lumber speculation.
1t Is noted here that few subriptions are
coming in TO the imperial fund for devel-
oping aviation, Of which the Grand Duke
Alexander Mkaiovitch is nominated
president. although several Moscow
merchants have given handsome sums to
individual aViators 10 encourage that
work
The Washington herald., 1910-11-13
Girl Musical Wonder.

London. Nov. IA girl OF six in Mel
bourne may be one of the musical Won
ders of the age. Her name is Vida Man
ley and she rejoices in a throat unique
in its formation. Doctors and musicians
who have examined the child are amazed
to find that her throat is different from
that of any other human being. When
she was two years of age she suddenly
started warbling like a canary, and ever
since she has retained at command this
pecliar power Now she trills like a Tet-
raZZini also, and sings like no other hui
man sOngstress. according 10 dispatches
from Melbourne. AS yet she has not
been spoiled by any publicity and MARBLES
away cheerfully and uncOnsciously Her
parents are not in the least musical and
have a number Of equally unmuslcal chill.
dren