The sun., 1910-01-09
THAT ANCIENT HATRPIN MYTH
DO WOMEN STUFF THEIR
MOUTHS WITH SUCH GEARr

A Tradition Long Honored Encounters
the Higher Criticism-very Learnedly
and Perhaps Sstist sSsST:ly German
Professor Brings the Truth TO Light.
After the third lecture Of his highly
learned course Prof. Neckenkopf Of
Garnichtwo. an International exchange.
nnbent with members OF the resident
faculty at the sederunt which had soon
become a feature OF this educational
reciprocity. To be sure DR.. phil. Necken-
kopf was no moro than a Privat-docent
At the University OF Garnichtwo. but he
was so ponderously learned. his whiskers
were so educational that he was promptly
promoted TO his professorship by brevet
as soon a. he landed.
Some Of you. my dear friends said
Prof. Neckenkopf after the first seidl.
with the air OF one who ID continuing the
discussion OF q topic already introduced.
which it had not been; sin fact pre-
sumo that with proper modesty may
say all Of you are aware Of. and some OF
you interested in. the magnum opus
TO the completion OF which I cheerfully
world controls it's patience to antioi-
Superstition q title which must con-
slider sufficiently and self-explanatory;
not so7
Already with much labor ] am en-
crossed in Liber Seoundus which bears
the secondary or subtitle Of The I'm
manenoe OF Popular Superstition In
the intervals OF this agreeable visit TO
your shores OF such appreoiativs hospi-
tality I am yet busy In the collation. OF
my data for the sixth chapter OF that
book, which deals with the physical
myth Of womAnkind. Even to-day
am writing section I'D. which deals with
the hairpin content OF the lady mouth
The hairpin coptent sof the lady
MOUTH inquired the professor OF dog
matte eirenics. pray explain that. DR..
Neokcnkopf."
1T Ia very simple in it's essence and
| when the acoidentia Of varying local and
temporary conditions are eliminated, =
resumed the professor, by no means an
noyed at the interruption.
He continued. and Il was clear that he
intended to make his explanation lucid
and popular. You. my dear professor.
stand IN the strium Of your abode and
you call to your spouse ON the loge
superior. What, then, Ia her reply?
'Um-um-um.' she says. Then you cay
TO yourself, she rs doing up the back
portions OF her hair; her mouth being
IN temporary use as the receptacle for
the necessary hairptns, she Ia prevented
from articulation. therefore she no longer
but. alas, temporarily-poesesses the
power Of human speech
"Oh, yes, / know you will say that such
is the case. But really you are chained
70 a myth. It Ia not really so that the
gnRdige Is fretful as the porcupine by
reason OF the hAirpins. know because
have studied Il out. You also will know
when / shall develop the thesis from
major and from minor premise to the
irresistible conclusion Of the syllogism.
1T Is very regrettable that neolithic
humanity has left Us no written memorials
which might elucidate this so interesting
topic. have great regret when l observe
! the large number Of carefully wrought
spioule OF bono which are treasured in
our museums OF antiquities. am aware
that much discussion has arisen a. TO
their purpose. but am firmly convinced
that these rubbed down ribs were the
pins wherewith the woman Of the stone
age did justice TO her back hair.
But when We arrive at . period doou-
mented by tradition ct first aud later By
the written record. what do We find, mJ
| friends? The sages OF antiquity, Of the
only genuine because ancient antiquity
they are silent. Against what woman OF
| the past was this charge ever brought
Does Homer say that Helen had the hair
pins In hsr MOUTH No; she ned at onus
when Paris calied.-
But, DR.. Necksnkopf.' interrupted tn
professor Of Latin, you must surely recall
the case Of FAustillsf"
ITO that was coming. but much latsr,
am aware that Il, the cornnon text al
| Suetonius there 10 the tale OF Fsustilla. II
] 70 recorded that when Nero called up from