The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-01-16
THAT REMINDS ME
Staff Correspondent Spends Day In the State Of Mentioned Fore Office Which Borders On the Territory of Has
 Been and By the River of Salt
By WALTER HARPER.

scorehing sun. while the nights are pois- onous and cold.
 Occasionally citizens of 'sHas-Bean'. re- turn to the state of Mentioned For Off, hce'' in their desperate struggles to att tain to the "City-Of- Pie." but this is not often. They are never welcome and their return is usually a signal for revo- lution. Their final return to the terri tory of "Has-Been'' is attended by un- kind jeers and all the discomforts that can be devised. The voyage up Salt River is made one of the tragedies of human existence.
 But L wont to tell you something of the life of the state of Mentioned For Office" As I said, it is just now at the height of the season. The flow of im- migration Is strong and the port of- ficers are busy receiving and classify ing the new citizens There is threat that the land will be overcrowded
 Special reservations are being asked for in the larger country across Salt rivers
 Almost Satisfied Preston of Walker, who was sent over by his friends on a tour of inspection a few days ago, is kicking desperately on the lack of adequate menu. and Is packing his grip to so back home. He says he doesn't like the looks of the river to the west and the smoky hills beyond.
 Sadly Distressed weakley, who. by the way, is in a measure acclimated, is spending most of his time chewing snake-root in the river marshes. It is believed that he is trying to sneak across the river without his ticket or even calling for the ferryman.
 Every -Once-In-A-w While O'Neal, who has just returned from journey of exploration across the river, is back among the boys and declares that he is feeling fine. He has pitched his tent over on the east side of the state under the shadow of the "F1ills of Hoper and declares that no man shall trsspass on his claim or there will be revolution. He is one of the happiest mon ever here, but mysterious groans are heard to emanate from his tent in the small, sti11 hours of the night. Though, like the others, he never sleeps, 1t is be- lieved that Hurryup Saysomething Diplomatic Mallory is throwing rocks at his tent.
 By the way. Hurryup saysomething Diplomatic is enjoying excellent health and though he is spry and cheerful he doesn't spend much time with the boyR He spends most of his time, it Is said, contemplating the beauties of the City y-Of- Pie" fro mafar. He nas never been across the river to the land of "Has-Been," and declares that he will never go.
 Working Diligently Seed is the most contented man in the province. I saw him while on my visit here. Indeed see him everywhere. His present home address is In the "City-Of-Pie." but all his personal mail fs forwarded to him here. He has already notified his correspondents to continue to ad- dress him at his present home place for the next five years. He will in- struct the letter carrier when to change delivery from one door to the other. Working Diligently sends greetings to his friends in the "Other World"
 The Jefferson county colony is one of the gayest in the country. All the members are doing we'll Most of them have been down to the river to sound its depths and taste the water, but all are camping close to the east side un- der the shadow of the city.
 By the way. was about to forget an event that caused quito a oommotion on the wharves of Salt river . few days ago. special train pulled up to the landing and unloated cargo of mis- cellaneous baggage. It was all con- signed to Bounced Bodily Conner. Has Been." Across tho bottom of each "P1ease hold in cold storage until owner calls"
 Special reservation in the hold of the river barge was made for the owner of the goods. who will follow in about one year.