Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-01-27

| AIuGIlCdu.
Have you read Dobbley's last
poem?" 81 hope so, but l am afraid
ot."-Harpers Weekly.
Binks Gin 191O)-What kind Of a
funeral did Howard have? Jinks-A
mile Of aeroplanes,-Llfe
Hired Man-Shooting at air ships ?
Farmer-Yep; trying to bring down
sumpin' to trim Mirandys hat,-Puck.
Drop in on us, any time" says one
aviator to another. You'll always
find the skylight open" Cleveland
Leader
Crawford-Why does your wife want
to move? Crabshaw-She happened to
see house with two more closets in
it.-Puck.
Thompson-Suppose a man should
call you a liar, what would you do?
Jones (hesitatingly) What sized
man?-Jewish Ledger.
She-Did you tell that photographer
you didn't want your picture taken?
He-Yes. She-What did he say? He
He said he didn't blame me.
Cynicus-That girl never says much,
does she? Sillicus-W Why, she talks all
the time Cynicus-That doesn't alter
my Philadelphia Record.
She-Some day want to show you
our family tree. He Cooking at her
admiringly)-I should like to see it.
1t must be a peach.-Somerville Jour
nal.
Agnes sat playing bridge all the af-
ternoon with her back to a glorious
mountain view" yes. She is presi-
dent Of our Back to Nature Club
Life.
He-We'd have won the foot ball
game If our captain hadn't lost his
head. She--Mercy Was 1t so bad as
that? l heard it was only an ear
Boston Transcript.
THE time to save is when you're
young" That's all right, but fell
low doesn't earn anything till he gets
we'll along and then it costs more to
live. Boston Herald.
Olga Gall excited over Nora's ac-
count of her elopement) How roman
tici But wasn't you afraid Of the lad
der slipping? Nora-Oh, no! Mother
was holding it.-Judge.
HE is suffering terribly. His teeth
are locked up tightly" Heavens, is 1t
lockjaw?" mo. they're in safe and
he can't eat anything until he gets
them out."-St. Louis Star.
Caller-My uncle died yesterday sir,
and l want you to offlciate at the fu-
reral. Deacon Jones-But didn't
know him. Caller-Good! You're just
the man l want-Kansas City Jour
nal.
Jack-I was In a box at the opera
last night. Tom-Were you? Jack-I
should say was. l took two ladies
there and then discovered that l had
left the tickets at home-Boston Tran
script.
Katie-What lovely ring! Matte
Isn't it. This ring was given me on
my twenty-first birthday. Katie-Real-
ly? Why, how well preserved it is
It's hardly a bit worn!-Cleveland
Leader.
$50 Miss Oldgirl is married at last
Yes, and you should have seen her as
she came up the aisle, made up to look
ike a young bride" who gave her
lway?" Her wrinkles. Baltimore
American.
Pm glad you've dropped in, Mrs.
.rons," said Mrs. Lapsling, cordially
greeting the visitor. This has been
. dreary day for me, and call from
. friend is like an Osiris in the des-
,rt."-Chicago Tribune.
Count Hickcff-Ze weather Is SO {
Iueer over here. must get my over
oat out. The Heiress-Love lucky.
,ount Hickoff-In what way? The {
Ieiress-That you haven't lost the
Daily News.
Lady Shopper--T am looking for a I
uitable present for a gentleman.
,lerk-What is your friends occupa- {
ion? Lady Shopper-He is an under c
aker. Clerk--An undertaken. Let s
ne show you nice berry set.-Boston |
But money doesn't always lead TO
appiness," said the poor young man :,
rho had Just been handed the frigid !.
litt. True" rejoined the fair own =
r of the cold-storage heart; but It ="
ften facilitates the arch."-Chicago .
'aily News.
The two men talked for a time in Z,
le train. Are you going to hear
arkins' lecture to-night?" said one. q
Yes" returned the other Take my
ivice and don't hear he is an aw- h
IL bore" Il must go" said the 9th. .,
:. I'm Barkins. Life.
He had managed to accumulate lot
! money by more or less questionable
ethOds. 81 should like to do some q
ling for the benefit of the town." he d.
Id We'll" suggested the poor but
herwise honest citizen. you might
owe out Of it."-Chicago News. 9
Canny Lass.
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