davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune., 1910-01-16
BUT MR.. CANNON'S FEET RE-
MAIN ON SPEAKERS DESK

some dust-spots from his delicious neck
tie.
Mr. Speak, / am not an Insurgent by
natural temperature, but I am allied
with a prominent Insurgent Family.
Therefore 1 may be supposed to insurge
slightly without getting mad about IL.
1 want to make slight chatter in behalf
of the Workingmen of America" Cheer
ups everywhere). Now the Distin-
guished leader Of America, in affinity
with the Policies Of his Illustrious Pre-
decessor has noticed something about
the cost OF living. He has noticed that
the Higher 1t goes the more Expensive
II becomes. / also have noticed this
(hand- clapse noises from Ohio friends
in Family Circle). Look at the way
Silk Underware & Fancy Vests has went
up in. the past 6 months, How can the
Laboring Glasses of this Kingdom ex-
pect to scrape along under such a bur-
den of pressure?"
Hon. Cannon hit the desk with ham
mer, making peculiar knock-noise
agreeable to his profession.
Hon. Longworth," he holla, "how like
a Populst you talki How can you be
such a Nerve as to stand there defend
ing the squashed-down Lower Glasses,
when you are dressed up so stylish like
a Corporation Lawyer? You look so
rich you are almost Unconstitutional.
How can you be the Workingman
Friend, and yet the Best Dressed con-
gresham in American"
I-11t rrrlar
I'm my clothing" say Nick with modest
bIosh," and yet the Common People
should not condemn me for my fashion
until they know all-they should see the
holes In my sox.'
'Mr. Speak, say a prominent Insurge
from Washington, How shall Congress
stand on Interstate Control Of Rail-
roads?"
'I have not decided yet" report Jo-
Uncle 81 shall take that up with
Aldrich in a few days"
"I am disabled to look into the Future
of this Question" snuggest this progress
sive Youth. without enjoying deep
Young man." report that kindly Boss.
IF. you are nervus, / got just the medi-
cine for you. Read Taft's Message to-
the 61st Congress. If 1t do not cure you
first time. read it again There is Moth
ing in it to jar up the tenderest nerves.
How it babbles along-no tough words or
electrical displays. Only Love. and that
of the most Constitutional variety. Are
you wakeful? This will make you Sleep
1t is like patent sprinkler in a Garden
of Happy Thoughts. How it babbles on
with no disagreeable idea to fright the
timid soul. Christian Science has sell
dom wrote anything so soothing in 40
pages"
please, Sire, could 1 make snugges-
tiCn?" suppose that Western Boy.
You may not" poke back Jo-Uncle
peevly.
New-York tribune., 1910-01-16

any deficiency in physical trainin' wher
ther janitor gifts good grip on his windpipe
an is shown his head inter ther waste
paper basket an plantin' leetle blue forget
me-nots under his eyes. A accurate knowi-
edge O. how ter conjugate a verb haint
gonna be no use ter him in a bizness crisis
O. this kind. Lots o. our most Earned men
hev found themselves in sitooations where
they'd he only too glad ter swap a lot o.
ther useless knowledge thet they've picked
up in collyege fur a leetle practickle knowl-
edge o ther left shift an right uppercut an
strangle hold"
Gosh hanged eff you hain't right" put
in the blacksmith. There air sitooations
in ther life o. ther avrage bizness man
where mere book Farming air inadequate an
entirely useless. But speakin' o bizness
men, sees b ther papers thet sum feIler
hes now invented q phoneygraph attach
ment ter hitch onter a typewriter what
takes dictation an does away with ther
necessity O. hevin' a stenoerapher All
ther bizness man hes ter do in ther future
is ter talk inter ther phoneygraph an ther
typewriter automatically writes down ther
message. Orter be a gosh-blamed good
thing"
We'll. by gum. er phoneygraph attach
ment ter do away with fee-male stenog-
raphers orter be dad-burned popular with
ther wives o. bizness men," said the squire.
Wouldn't be surprised if thet Teller got
wealthy in jig time jist frum ther sales O.
his invention 'mong bizness mems wives
Be moughtv tough on ther dee-vorce law
yers. though"
An speaNin o. ther dee-vorce courts"
continued the SQUIRE. II sees where a Judge
down in Washinton hes guy decision in
which he ses tibet ev'ry wife has a legal
right ter go through her husban's pockets.
New-York tribune., 1910-01-16

AS representative O. ther law In this
ere dee-strick. must take exception 10
thet Earned Judges dee-cision. an advise
thet any men In this ERE vicinity what rits
awake in ther middle o. ther night an.
ketches his wife a-goin' through his pock-
cts air priveyleged ter git out o. bed an.
discourage her in ther act, with a bed sIat
ihat where ther law I'm this ere dee
striek stands on tibet there propeysition."
by Jerushey. thet's right. squire" said
the blacksmith ''Ef ther courts gift ter
guvin dee-cisionss like thet Wen list hev
.er TUX ther law inter our own hans In or
uer Ter maintain our supremacy in our own
homes
speakin' o. ther supremacy in our ox,
loihes' put In the grocer. II guess this
ere meetin' he'd better adjourn now an, AN
us git home in time ter prevent thar
wehiin folks frum revolutin' ag'in that ere
su-preemaey. Yew feIlers can't reasonably
expect ter maintain your su-preemacy in
~ es MONIES ef YOU air gonna set here all
nlsne whittlin' up my counter. Good-night.
see you to-morre- evenin'."
New-York tribune., 1910-01-16

''But is not my soul my own prop.
erty?" require this Pacific person.
mot under the present House Rule.
dib the Great Nail Of Danville. WIZ,
/ was your age 1 was not allowed !.
talk impudence tO my Grandfath..
Why should you do so now? Besides
think see Rep Tawney beckoning me :,
lunch. Therefore we are adjourned bv
collapsable majority"
So all depart away. excepting onlv
few Insurgents who stand together 1,
circles trying TO think OF something \.
sides Old Age which will remove IA
Uncle off the House.
At outside door OF this hall I nneet =.
with InsurgicaI Poet who look to N.
with sinickal eye-wink.
The Stand Patters are still stausg,,.
where it is the pattest," he report. ~a,s
I am not surprise. What say "a,
Shakespeare. famous bookmaker. abo.
Congress? He say. Truth forever on y,
carpet. Wrong forever on the job Az.
you fond OF Poems?' he require.
Il chew them night & day" raggga
Here is a wee slice OF melody whk,
Hon Bill Watson. English poeter. l..
in his trunk before he disappeared awav.
The Speaker With the Serpent's Touov.
Though still on deck. he isn't young
The Speaker with the Serpent's Tonsr,a.
Dispensing language picturesque
He keeps his feet upon the Desk
While those in peace who wish 70 swim
Have got TO take the Law from him
Or else-just Judgment on their nerya.
On no Committee may they serve.
Behold the Axe he long has swung,
The Speaker with the Serpent's Tong,.r
Insurgents say each week or So
We guess We'll have TO can poor Jos.
But into Space each fortnight zI;des
And 10 still on his job resides
Is it because the dear Old Heart
For younger wits is too darn smart
That he has got trick or two
That Boy RefOrmers never knew
See how he smiles when they are stunr
That Speaker with the Serpent's Tonzua
To capture Uncle's scalp they urge:
They rise. they rally. they insurge;
But like Gibraltar's famous rock,
He's where he Is-wha. use 10 knock?
Nor Age shall wilt nor Custom stale
The Tariff on a rising scale
In which thy gavel drove the bung
o Speaker with the SeTpents Tongue.
When last seen that Political States.
man he was sliding away on his cracked
Ambition.
Hoping you are the same
Yours truly
HASHIMURA TOGO.
Copyright, 1910. by the Associated Liters7
Press-)
New-York tribune., 1910-01-16

WASH. ID. c.
To Editor Tribune. who must learn TO
forgive OLD Age for its boyish ways,
Dear Sir
In lobbey-entrance of Hotel Willard.
Wash, D. c.. me e Nogi. at early a. m.
this morning, met a Boy Insurgent smok-
Ing cigarettes with earnest expression of
one who has just made handshake with
Senator Cummins. Me & Nogi walk up
approachfully.
Please, Mr.. Sir. if cordially conven-
lent 1 requesh. might we be so de-
praved as to ask you one civilized en-
quiry?'
'Perhapsly you might" he pronounced.
blowing important smoke in direction OF
Postoffice Dept
Are you slightly acquainted with the
House of Representatives? 1 require
nervely.
'Ha-ha & Poo" decrop this youthful
craftsmanship should say-so 1 was!
have been member of the House of
Representatives for years and am one
Of the spryest Insurgents there
Ne & Nogi stand gast at that Infant
Phenomenal. So young and yet so In
surgical.
81 am employed or hours daily
carrying out important bills he say on
like a Volunteer. Already this Session
] have carried 232 Roosevelt Policies and
handed them to the Janitor"
VIII some important Politicks be shot
off in that House to-day?" require me &
Nogi together like Chorus Girls.
Important IS no signature for what
will happen" he corrode. Them Insurg-
ents is surging everywheres expecting
10 hit Hon. Jo-Uncle Cannon with a Gil
max. To-day is the day. 1t will be
very rough House. The Younger Set
from Kansas and Wisconsin will arise
UP together with arguments full of
brickbats and lynch the popular Speaker
on the end Of his politickal record. Too
long have he held the yolk of oppression
over the heads of Nox Populi. Do we
love that Old Man? Answer is, No,
Tyrants. Ears and other Cannibles shall
not last forever. The hand of Justice
win arise UP with a snarl and bounce
them like a rubber ball.
Are you Congressman minus all
mercy?" 1 dib. ''to tease q Oldy Man,
however sinful, like that"
"POking Hon. Cannon is a very popu-
lar pass-time in Certain Circles" he re-
buff. 1T is known in Washington as
'Jo-baiting''
Would it be easy to play such mean
trix on poor Uncle?" 1 ask with HUI
name Society voice.
''It is easy like stealing oats from
dead horse or disolving the Standard
Oil. I hope you will be present at 11:30
TO see this Assassination, he further
snuggest as he depart off.
we are amused by all athletick ex-
ercises,' 1 collapsed while this youthful
Statesman eloped away.
90 please, Mr.. Sir" we require to Hon.
New-York tribune., 1910-01-16

ther features o collyege football what air
Objectionable ter ther opponents o. ther
game is ther brutality an tendency in ther
players ter inflict personal injury, an thet
feature haint got nothin' ter do with phys
ical effort. There kin be physical effort
without danger o personal injury"
Il don't know 'baout thet. nuther" re-
Piled the editor. You so an put brute
inter any game an he's gonna show brutal
instincts. Football an ther opportunities
O. roushin' ii only brings through ther skin
what air already planted in ther system,
an If there be any brutality ther fault air
in ther maxim up o. ther team an not in
ther opportunity presented durin' ther
game fur its exhibition. An anyways, /
don't know but what ther brute In ther
game o. football air a sarvin' a mouehty
good purpose He air guvin' his opponent
a opportunities ter dee-velop courage an
valebyle practice in ther art o. duckin' a
uppercut an with ther same movement
counterin on adversary's solar plexus 18th
his boot heel 1t air moughty good thing
fur ther future bizness man ter cum outen
coilyege 1th accurate knowledge o. how
ter meander acrosst ther Dit o. O. adyer-
sarys stomach an ee-rect a large feverish
knob over his eyebrow. The av'rage bizness
man KIN plug along an succeed nrrtv well
in hidin' up any leetle deeNciencv n,
knowledge ur cddycation H. ,sittin, Some
BODY else ter tend ter it fur him. But it
All Hiousn'y hard FUR him ter kiyver UP
New-York tribune., 1910-01-16

the 4S6th time I ask to know; what has
become Of my Bill?'
For the 4S6th time 1 reply for an
swer,' report Jo-Uncle, "That your Bill
has been properly packed in the Commit
tee on Cold Storage, where it belongs"
but Hon. Sire" derange this Kansas
voice, that was a young & vital Bill
of mine. 1t do not deserve such cruel
fates. 1t deserves to romp & gamble
among free & happy Insurgents. instid
of being frostbit forever in the bleak &
Peary atmosphere Of that Cold Storage
Committee
"How dare you be so Illegal" dib Jo-
Uncle, ito speak so insulting about
Committee to which you do not belong?'
ut is not customary to appoint Insur-
New-York tribune., 1910-01-16

Rep. Boutell, the way a ring master
Winks at a horse he loves.
Everybody present was actively busy
doing almost nothing. Delegate Hallohoo-
looloo of Hawaii was quietly gossiping
with Rep Palmer of Penn about Whose
Sl1OO Ottombile was Sec Ballinger Rid
ing in Friday Afternoon? When sudden
ly an Insurgent insurged upwards. Loud
banzais from me & Nogi. We knew this
Hero by his hair, which was the color Of
Kansas sunf1owers shining over a brick
wall. 1t was Hon. Vic Burdock, Wiz of
Wichitai
Mr.. Speak," he pop out, 'some time
now passed off I introduce a Bill of title,
'A-Bil of Discourage Worn Out Bosses
IN the House of Representatives For
New-York tribune., 1910-01-16

what don't never do nuthin' rough er-
nough ter stretch out their short ribs an
guv their heart more room ter grow big
l think th< it d be a mistake ter ee-limy-
nate ther rOughness outen ther collyege
game O. football simply cause there hev
bean sum telelyscopin' o. hooman anato-
mics. Mebbe We mought hev few more
corpses atween them tombstuns up in ther
buryin' ground on account o. football but
just think O. ther livin' corpses we'd
had walkin' aroun' ther airth gittin' in
livin peepurs way If it hedn't bean fur
football. Their Bill Edwardses. ther Ham
Fishes, ther Bill Reds, and ther Nc
Clungs an McCormacks mought hev all
bean Harry Thaws if it hedn't bean fur
collyege football.
Il h9in't sayin' but what your deductions
air kee-rect," said the school teacher, but
New-York tribune., 1910-01-16

gents to Committees" say Vic with dis
dampful air? rs it my fault that this
is thusly?"
''It is not your fault-it is your mis-
fortune report Jo-Uncle sadly, like he
sympathized from the very bottom of
his whiskers-
Mr.. Speak," report another brave
Gent insurging suddenly from Wisconsin.
"by my calculations it is about your
quitting time
''Your time & mine don't agree" de-
compose that Old Patter. you are out
of order, like your watch. Set down.
wards"
Hon. Nick Longworth nextly arouse
up looking very social. He whisk-away
New-York tribune., 1910-01-16
UNDER DIFFICULTIES.

Wild eyed. his hair unkempt ard hi
collar flying loose at one end. Noah Web
ster was trying 10 write a definition ..
the word ''Whiskey'' for his Immortal dIc-
ttonary.
The trouble is" he howIed. that il
define IL as Taft does, III never be able %
sell single blamed copy OF this vors
down in Kentucky"
AT last. however. by giving several dsi.
nitions of the word. he avoided align1s
himself on either side OF the cOntroYersY
Chicago Tribune
New-York tribune., 1910-01-16
PRESUMPTION RESENTED

is 80 ,ney have decided what whiskey
Is said Meandering Mike.
,t's 49, answered Plodding Pete: "snd
cal IO,ner Inonr or those cases where theoreti-
To nowieage n,,r sets itself up as superior
70, oHr Sta practical experience e"'-Washing-
New-York tribune., 1910-01-16
A BAD START.

pronosssn man sl,s always looks foolish when he
les, answered Mr. MeektSn. aand 7.
snrd Svluently y failed TO overcome the alb
fhav aainpresHop l made on Henrietta on
'"as occasion "-Washington Star
New-York tribune., 1910-01-16

door, said I'D better try these ois'"''
the dog before / gave EN- 10 you ais.
The Groom-Hasn't she SGT hie- "A
position. Why. l thought she Va
dogs-C.sveland Leader.
New-York tribune., 1910-01-16
RUBBING 1T I'M.

Hns brids-That nasty Mrs. Jones, next
New-York tribune., 1910-01-16

THE CRAFTY CREDITOR.
"Sorry, old man-bad tooth?"
"No-dentist owes me money-can't get
near him-trying new scheme"
-Fliegende Bldtter.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1910-11-03
THE RAILROADS AND BURKE.

The report has gone out that the
railroads of the state desire the cleo
ton of John Burke. 1t has been
known for a long time that the rail-
roads play quite an important part
in the politics of this state, and if
they can have their way, they will
secure candidates in either party
favorable to them. They know that
Johnson will not stand to be dictated
to, and Burke's own record shows
that he is not unfriendly to them. Of
the two, they choose Burke, because
they are not afraid of him. So YOU
see Mr.. Voter, if you want to vote for
the governor, who will look after
your interests, Johnson is your man.
A pile of rubbish back of the D.
A. Dinnie home caught fire Monday
evening and the fire department was
called out. Little damage was done.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1910-11-03

w. F. Whitmore of Lebanon, O.,
spent number OF days in Minot and
Surrey with old friends. Mr.. Whit
more formerly lived near Surrey.
where he has many friends. His son.
Herman, graduated from tine scienti.
fic department of the University of
Lebanon, the school from which the
father graduated thirty five years ago.
Herman averaged high in his class.
D. H. Kimball has returned from
his old home in Maine, where he spent
two months, visiting his broth ers.
and assisting in settling up the I'D
kimball estate. Mr. Kimball said that
the state of Maine went Democratic
because the Republicans failed to
keep their pledges in regard to the
of the liquor law.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1910-11-03
NOTICE OF MORTGAGE FoREcLo-
SURE SALE By ADVERTISEMENT

Notice is hereby given that that
cert lin mortgage made, executed and
delivered by Paul Johnson, q single
man, mortgagor, to Martin Jacobson,
mortgagee, dated the 9th day of De-
cember, A. d. 1909, and filed for re-
cord in the Office Of the Register OF
Deeds In the county Of Ward, and
State Of North Dakota, on the 9th day
of December, A. D. 1909, at the hour
OF 40 o'clock p. m. and duly record
ed in book "174" of mortgages on
page ga" will, by reason OF default
having been made In the payment of
the sum secured thereby and under
and in virtue OF the power OF sale in
such mortgage contained, be fore
closed by sale OF the premises In
such mortgage and hereinafter de-
scribed at the front door of the court
house in the city Of Minot, county Of
Ward, and state of North Dakota, Ut
the hour Of 1900 O'Clock IL the after
noon on Saturday The 18th dav Of
November, 1910, to satisfy the amount
due upon such mortgage on the day
Of sale.
The premises described in such
mortgage and which will be sold to
satisfy the same are described as fol-
lows: Lots one (1), two (2), six (6)
and seventy in section three (S).
township one hundred and fifty-two
(152) north of range eighty-five 1857,
west OF the Fifth Principal Meridian,
containing one hundred and seventy
eight acres according to the United
States survey thereof, situate, lying
and being in the county Of Ward and
state OF North Dakota.
There will be due on such mortgage
at the date of sale the sum Of -Four
Hundred Thirty-six and $500 dollars
($43s.95) together with statutory At
torney's fees and costs.
Dated At Minot, North Dakota, this
the 9Th day OF October, A. D. 1910.
Martin jacobson,
Mortgages. Address. Min9t. N. p.
8. A. soreuson,
Sheriff Of Ward County. Address
Minot, North Dakota.
Halvor L. Halvorson,
Attorney for Hortgagee, Address,
Minot, North Dakota. 1O-6-11-17
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1910-11-03
N|N0T STORE
SCORES HIGH
SmaIIwood's Grocery Store Ranks
Among the Best in the State Ae.
cordins to State Department Examr.
nation.

The Independent is in receipt Of
special bulletin, sent out by the Pure
Food Department of the State, undor
s supervision of Prof. Ladd, showing
among other things, the result of the
examination of tine grocery stores OF
the state, that has been going on
since the first of the year.
The examination considered the fol-
lowing features, each Of which was
graded 10 if perfect
Ventilation and light.
Floor, walls, fixtures, screens. tee.
Refrigerators.
Butter and cheese.
Bulk goods, vegetables, etc.
Display en- goods in store.
Side walk display.
Cellar and cellar stock.
Backroom and yard.
Personnel.
SmallwOod's grocery store was scor.
ed on but nine Of the points, as there
Was no side walk display, and out
a possible go, this store secured "a.
This is exceptionally good and ranks
with the very best stores of the state.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1910-11-03
Erie STARTED FROM
TEACHERS HOUSE
More Details Of Serious Prairie Fire
Southwest Of Minot-Scores Of Far
mers Lose their Hay Buildings

The Independent has learned more
concerning the prairie fire which
occurred southwest of Minot last Sat-
urday. The fire is reported to have
started from a new house built on
school teachers homestead. The fell
low had finished the house that day
and placing some shavings in the store
started fire. The wind carried some
sparks to tine dry prairie with dis
astrous results. Andrew Eidahl lost
about 80 tons of fine hay and VIM.
Giles lost all of his winters feed.
Both are now engaged in putting up
some dry grass, for their stock. Mr..
Spoklie and others lost their hay.
The fire covered a strip Of country
four miles wide and many miles long.
Hundreds fought the fire, but it went
with such rapidity that they could
only check the flames at the side.
The fire jumped tine highways and
fire breaks, making leaps of fifty yards
or more, sweeping everything in it's
path.
Mr.. Hamer, son of John Hamer, lost
his barn and machinery. He saw the
fire coming, and 1t is said he could
nave saved his barn, but was too excit-
ed. Tumbling weeds on fire helped
to spread the flames.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1910-11-03

Miss Mabel Brown, one rf the popula,
clerks at Keavins', left this week for
Williston, where she will visit for
some time. Miss Browns many
friends regret that she mas decided
not to return to this city
]. G. SmallWood received word from
Brainerd, Mimi, that his daughter,
Miss Pearl, was quite ill., She is
visiting relatives there.
G. G. Richards has returned from
Billings. Mont, where he bought mere
land
Thorton Addleman, brother of Mrs
G. G. Richards, was operated upon
Monday for a growth on his eve. The
operation was highly successful.
H. w. Evans is now nicely located
in Suite 2, of Temple Court, the name
of James Johnson's new block. Mr..
Evans for years was connected with
F. B. Lambert and his many friends
trust that he will have a very salts
factory practice. He's a capable con-
scientious attorney.
Rumor has it that if Judge Goss is
successful in being elected to the
Supreme bench, Governor Burke will
R. H. Bosard to fill the va
cancy. Other attorneys have been
mentioned for the place, among
whom are Geo. MCGEE of this city and
Frank Fisk Of Wiliston.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1910-11-03
CHANGE LOCATION.

John J. Coyle, and O. B. Herigstad,
two of Minots prominent attorneys,
are now located in one Of the finest
suites of offices in the city, in James
Johnsons new block, known as
Temple Court. They have three
rooms, facing Main street.
The business of these attorneys has
grown at a surprising rate during the
pas few years and it became necess-
l:Lrgpr quarters.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1910-11-03
THAT MUNICIPAL
LIGHTING PLANT
leSueur Says One is Available in a
Over Year if the People Want it
will Vote on the Question

President LeSueur of the City Com
mission declares that after thorough
study of the question of electric light
ing and Minot's finances, this city can
own it's own electric light plant a
year from next spring if the people
SO desire. He says that the question
may be put before them at the cleo
ton next spring, to see whether they
desire such a plant or not.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1910-11-03

A hunting party consisting Of p b.
Anderson, Oscar Veach, A. A. Robin
son, NJ. o. Doe, e. H. Boyer and Mr.
Probst, spent five davs in the vicinity
of Churches Ferry, where they went
in quest CT geese. They shot several
geese and some big ducks. They
camped out and had an enjoyable
time. Mr.. Doe proved to he an adept
at tuckering out the geese.