Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-07-13
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BY AMERE MAN.

The Boss Of the Establishment opened the
door OF his apartment and gazed reproach-
fully upon his wife, resplendentIy arrayed,
who stood without it.
WELL" he began, after receiving the con-
jugal peck Of greeting with resigned apathy,
I've been home an hour l had begun to
think hadn't any wife"
II know. dear I'm sorry. It was such a
late wedding" explained the radiant culprit.
But" she added, going at once to the root
of the trouble with what the romantic writ
ers call fine feminine intuition. 1 told Mary
all about the dinner before left and It will
be ready at the usual time"
The cloud on the Boss contenance lifted
perceptibly. But while his stomach rejoiced
at the glad tidings he felt it necessary to
discsim the implication in his wife's words.
Dinner he exclaimed, Indignantly, you
think only of dinner. You women are such
material creatures'N
And then, because his wife's face was still
flushed with the sympathetic excitement of
the wedding she had attended and her eyes
held the bridal vision, half reminiscent, half
prophetic, which such occasions seem to
lend to the most experienced women, he ad-
ded:
Il was lonesome that's ALL"
The lady smiled the little broken smile
! that was her most battling popularity. 1t
was as though one corner Of the mouth
curled up in sentimental appreciation of the
Boss words, while the other slanted deri-
sively downward at herself and him But
she said nothing.
] How did the bride look?" inquired her
lord, being now in an amable mood and
knowing that she wanted to tell him.
His wife smiled happily, tossed her best
hat with alarming casualness upon q sofa
and sat down to telf him all about it
''Of course" she said. the papers will
say that she looked lovely-they always do.
But in realty she was like every other bride
very pale and self-conscious and worried
looking. 1 couldn't tell from her express
sion whether her slippers hurt her or
whether she was afraid her veil was COM
ing off. You know, she continued, that IS
the pity Of weddings. The feelings of the
two persons most concerned are butchered
to provide q sentimental feast for the
! guests"
How do you know" inquired the Boss,
just by way Of making conversation.
/ why shouldn't l know? I'm bride my
self" the lady replied.
The Boss laughed.
Some day." he observed, I'm going ia
write~ an article on The Longevity OF
Brides Here we have been married a
most questionable number of years, and
you still speak OF yourself as II we had just
set up housekeeping. When is a bride no,
a bride?" he asked with the bromidian
directness Of a patent medicine almanac OIL
a society pulpit orator.
when she's az The Boss wife paused
and vivid blush supplied the missing
word.
Well" she amended, the answer to that
is the answer to the race suicide problem
You're a bride so long as your husband
hasn't any excuse for calling you
mamma"
\ Then" said the Boss, II take it you
consider yourself still in the bride class
Certainly said the lady, why not?'
Because we've been married five years
Because you weigh twenty pounds more
than when we were engaged! Because
you don't watch me shave any mure Be