The San Francisco call., 1910-08-15
MAYFLOWER MUST HAVE
BEEN OVERLOADED BOAT
That Is, if Ancestor Boasts
Were All True


out his chest like a pouter pigeon and
Dragging because he thinks his an
ceStorS came over on the Mayf1ower, IT
always causes me to break forth in
loud, vulgar chortle of mirth-"haw-
haw w-hawv'-just like that. That May
flower joke nearly tickles me to DEATH
and whenever / have chapped lips or
cold sore anywhere near my mouth and
hear that boast. I simply laugh and
laugh until my face pains me.
Do you know, "Mr. Mayfiower," there
was time in my freckled career when
labored under the same delusion that
now seems to have possession of your
goat? Once upon a time my grand
father, in an unguarded moment, i'm
parted to me the priceless information
that my ancestors came over on the
Mayfower. That made a terrific hit
with me and boosted me up at one boost
about rs per cent in my own estima-
ton. I Immediately got the idea, as
you have, that l was made of little
bit finer clay than those with whom
came in daily contact. Why, after
found out that 1 had the Mayflower
strain of blood in my veins L would
hardly speak to my neighbors. When
made new acquaintance l always
asked them whether or not their an
cestors came over in the Mayfawer,
and if they didn't / never spoke to
them again
Well, just at the height of my glory
an inquisitive chump who believed that
l was made of mud and water Just like
other ordinary folks, took the trouble
to pry the lid off my ancestry. He
went about in painstaking way to
find out just where I came from.
l don't care at this time to dwell on
the details of his investigation l will
merely admit that when he got back
two or three centuries along the an
cestry trail he discovered to my intense
amazement and disgust that one of my
forefathers had been hanged in Ger
many for stealing a horse and that an
other old geezer who had belonged to
my family had been tarred and feath-
cred and ridden on a rail out of a
French town for desertion from the
army. Not only that but this chap who
was engaged in the task of looking up
my ancestry went carefully over the
passenger list of those who sailed on
the Mayf1ower, and he found that no
member of my family was on deck
wnen the boat left the dock
This investigator gave me this in
formation gratuitously and it was so
well established by proofs that 1 have
never from that day to this talked to
anybody. even in whisper. about my
ancestors coming over on the May
flower. In fact, when the subject is
broaehed [ always try to change the
conversation to the topic of crops or
pontcs, or TO some other subject which
interests me. You will now readily
understand why always burst the but
tons off my waistcoat with laughter
when hear folks Dragging about their
ancestors coming over on the May
fower-it simply makes me whoop for
joy.
Did you ever pause in your ancestor
fn = +Iao G
the Mayf1ower with the number of peo-
pie who boast that their ancestors came
over on board her? The Mayfower Won
know, was not a very big vessel, and if
as many people came across aboard her
as we must infer from the boasts of
those we meet every day, you can bet
your sweetslife she was crowded some.
All the first class cabins were filed.
they slept layer on layer in the steer
age, and they piled 'em six deep on
deck The rigging was full of hangers
on, while countless others were hang
ing on by their eyebrows from the yes
sePs rail. The members of the crew
could hardly get about the boat in
| their duties without stepping on a
Mayfower ancestor, and thev musr
have cussed something fierce Some Of
| those on board were stowaways and
| hid themselves in the hold among the
| cargo, while others, in their ambition
10 become MayfoWer ancestors, worked
their passage across by holystoning the
deck, patching sails bai1ing out bilge
water and doing other menial services
unbecoming to a Mayf1ower ancestor.
The wonder is that the poor old Nav
hover was not Swamped in midocean.
DO you know, sir, that if all those who
it is claimed came over on the Nav
flower were launched together thew
could not begin to get on the Lusi-
tania Newton Newkirk in Boston
Post.