davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08
COMPLAINS ABOUT TREATMENT
AT THE SOLDIERS HOME

Editor Herald: Would you kindly
stir up the officers little through the
columns of your paper? There is a
screw loose somewhere about this
home. For five days we have not had
an ounce of oleo, the kind of butter
they give us to eat. Tonight for sup
per we had corn and white bread and
weak alfalfa tea, no butter, mOlasses
or honey We had raw apricots, and
many of them green. They turned all
the old men out of the hospital who
were working there. They said they
were too old to work. Now they are
detailing the same old men, without
pay, to do the same work. Too old
to work for pay but not too old to
work without pay. The home is paying
a lot of young ladies to wait on the
table 500 a month. at the same time
detailing old men without pay to help
them
VIII you expose their rascalities and
help us old men? JERRY SIMPKINS.
Soldiers Home, July ..
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08
ELoPlNG UP TO DATE

The coatIess man puts careless arm
Round the waist of the hatless girl,
While over the dustless, mudess roads
In a horseless wagon they whirl
Like leadless bullet from hammerless gun,
BY smokeless powder driven
They hy to taste the speechess joys
BY endless union given
The only luncheon his coinless purse
Affords to them the means
Is a tasteless meal Of boncless cod
with a dish Of stringless beans,
He smokes his old tubaccuess pipe
And laughs a mirthsss laugh
y hen papa tries to her back
BY wireless telegraph
Motor Record.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08
Merely in Jest
HE JUST sIMPLY ASKED.

An orator with long whisllers was
eloquently making a free silver speech.
Gents" said he. "our country's well
fare demands that silver be kept at it's
face value. If the government marks
a dollar dollar it follows that it must
be worth 100 cents"
Excuse me-may l ask a simple
question:" spoke up a man in the rear
of the hall.
Certainly, sir" said the orator.
"Then," said the man coming for
ward, IF the government marked your
whiskers hay would a mule eat them?"
Ladies' Home Journal.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08
PUGlLlSM REACHES RIGHT
LEVEL WITH GORILLA CHAMP

Editor Herald: Pugilism has reached
it's level at last 1t now has for it's
champion a being who calls himself a
gorilla. Gorillas are not celebrated
either for intelligence or respectable
ity. Anyone who now expresses ad-
miration for pugilism convicts himself
Of having low ideals.
LEROY STONER.
TnglcWOod july T.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08
ROCKEFEILER,s BEST STORY

Rockefeller's favorite story Is about
two Irishmen who were discussing him
and his wealth. Rockefeller tells it as
follows:
do yez know" said Pat to his
friend. that this ROCKEFELLER is the
richest man in the world?"
"Yez don't say!" answered Mike.
"Yis, he is, and ivry tonne that clock
ticks off a minute he is $1,000 richer"
BE jabers," replied Mike, git me an
ak and Oi'll smash the clock"
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08
RECKLESS

"Can you support my child?" asked
the old man sternly
support her? l could support the
whole family" the youth boasted.
Afterward he regretted that he had
not been more temperate in his speech
-BuffalO EXprcss.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08

President Taft of course holds the
belt for the number of miles Travelled in
a given time, but we should say that
by this time Philip Stanton is a close
second.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08

through the bankruptcy court. Adele is
behind the times. She should have got
her advertising by retiring" from the
stage
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08
ARTISTIC CANDOR

why do you call your picture
'Dawn'?'
Because" replied the young impress
sionist, few people kr ow what dawn
looks like, hence they are likely to
take my word for it."-Chicago Rec
{ l-Herald.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08

A Long Beach man killed himself to
set rid of headaches. There is a sug-
geston in this. Some brand of the
deadly headache powders that are sold
might be appropriately named the Hari
Kari
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08

The Lincoln Roosevelt leaders have
issued an appeal for funds. When the
old machine wanted money from its
benefciaries it didn't issue appeals, It
just took it,
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08
MODERN ADVANTAGES

Little Evelyn had received many
pretty birthday gifts, II think you are
a fortunate little girl" said her aunt,
'When / was a little Siil l was thank
full to set even one birthday present"
"Oh, dear" replied Evelyn, with
shuddder, I'm glad l didn't live in
Bible times"
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08

Count Zeppelin is going to build an
other passenger airship. But if they
cart guarantee any better service than
the last they won't be popular on the
-NOu-enter plan.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08

A Massachusetts Grand Army post is
going to entertain post of Confederate
veterans from Richmond. If the Union
veterans have forgiven the boys In
gray they ought not to oppose the erec-
ton of a proposed statue to Robert
L. Lee.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08
Public Letter Box

TO CORRESPONDENCE intended
for publication must be accompanied by the
namo and address OF the writer. The Herald
gives the widest latitude to correspondents.
but assumes no responsibility for their Views
/ stters must not succeed 200 words
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08

In generating President Taft's son
from guilt for running down a pedes-
trian with his auto the Massachusetts
highway commission says: Not guilty,
but don't do it again."
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08

The right to yell at ball game has
been affirmed by a Michigan bishop.
But can we have a dispensation to mob
the umpire when he rules against the
home team?
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08

Up in the northern part of the state,
in the apple belt, they talk of erecting
a statue to Adam and Eve. Appro-
pirate place; but the fig district should
also regard them as patron saints.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08

Eat the whole wheat bread, from
which the nutriment hasn't been re-
fined to make it look pretty, and the
question whether bleached flour is
wholesome or not won't need to bother
you.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08

According to the New York Herald
cigarette smoking among women has
become so common that smokers out
fits are popular bridal presents. There
are some growing evils as real as the
white plague or the white slave traffic
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08

Secretary Ballinger again intimates
that he will die in the last ditch. Lots
of people stand ready to supply the
ditch
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08

With half a dozen candidates for gov
ernor of California, it will be necessary
to pick the man by the process Of elm
inatiOn.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08
ALLIN THE FAMILY

First Fair Autoist-Did you have to
pay any damages to that man you ran
over?
Second Fair Autoist-No. Fortu-
nately, he was my husband.-Jewish
Ledger.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08

Little Chile is to have the biggest
warship in the world. 1t will be neCes-
sary to annex some more territory to
get room for the garage.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08
THE WAY IT WORKS

what is love?" she asked.
Love" he answered, rs a brand Of
insanity that makes a man call a 200
pound woman his little tootsy-wootsy."
Exchange.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08

New Jersey will hereafter refuse to
grant marriage licenses to imbeciles
and inebriates. Now, if they should
make the same rule with regard to di-
vorces how many DEGREES would be re-
FUSED?
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08

It has been figured out that Margaret
Illington's husband must have worn
those guaranteed socks.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08
POLITICAL REPARTEE

"The motto of our party is Turn the
Rascals out! "
"Well, | guess your party has turned
out more rascals than any other"
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08

The National Peace society might
consider Reno as a good place to hold
it's next annual gathering.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08
A COMING STATESMAN

Teacher-Bobby, you were not at
school yesterday.
Bobby-Nope l was paired wit
Skinny Jones.-ChiCago Tribune.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08
State Press Echoes

Had it been known that the Cali
fOrnia governor would do anything
like that those Borneo natives need
never have been imported. Wild men
are drug on the market,-MilWaukee
Sentinel.
The filling up of the empty west is
no longer left 10 chance, or the per-
sonal appeals of cOlonsts. The west
ern states advertise. Colorado and
California have long flooded the east
with tales of golden opportunity. And
now Arkansas enters the lists with an
advertising campaign as definite and
systematic as if it were planned to
exploit new cigar,-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Whv did Governor Gillett of Cali
fornia agree to the Jeffries-J johnson
prize fight and then, after the arena
had been almost completed, order the
fight out Of the state? Advertising
Governor Gillett is probably a
candidate for president, and is look
ing for an engagement with the Chau-
tauuua circuit. What a fine line this
would be for a Chautauqua poster:
"The Man Who Whipped Both JEFF
fries and Johnson!" How the jays
would scramble for ickets!-Atchison
Globe.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08

Another noted actress has retired
from the stage forever-until next
season.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08

News from various cities shows that
public sentiment still has few knock
out blows left in its forearm muscles
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08

Why not a law making it misde-
meanor to talk about the big fight any
more?
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08

On all matters pertaining to advertising
address Charles R. Gates advertising man.
ager
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-08

We respectfully suggest a change of
its title to the "impurity squad"
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1910-02-12

The followers of John Wesley are
displaying their wonted bigotry in &C.
cusing the Catholic Church of in
lerance for resenting their despicable
methods of proselytism in Rome 1t
is natural for Methodists to be mar
row in their religious views. The
founder of their church spoke and
wrote against Catholicity in the Brit
ish Islands and against liberty for the
American colonists from the CALLING
yoke Of England. They are the citizens
Wha favored a third term for U. 8.
Grant as president because he was n
Methodist, and refused to vote for
James G. Blaine, the Presbyterian, be-
cause his mother was a Catholic and
his daughter the wife of Catholic
officer who fought gallantly for the
preservation of the Union. The Meth
odists, above all others, should be
slow to charge any religious denomina-
ton with intolerance in Europe or
America. Even their prelates cannot
reply to Archbishop Ireland without
gnashing their teeth.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1910-02-12
Catholic Tories,

A victory for Home Rule gained by
a coalition with the Tories would bring
the Catholics of Ireland and England
together, says FIR. Phelan in the West
ern Waterman. We mean by the
Catholics Of England the native-born
descendants of the old English Cath
Ole stock. We have always depre-
Gated the estrangement between these
two bodies of Catholics, whom a COM
mon faith and common suffering
should make one. We can not blame
English Catholics for being English
men; but We do condemn them for be-
ing anti-Irish; and that they have
been since O'Connell's time. All the
victories of the Catholic Church in
England have been won by the Cath
olics of Ireland. This should suggest
gratitude: but the debt is Indignantly
repudiated. 1t is hard to tell what
the next twelve months will bring
forth; but one thing is quite certain;
Ireland will have Home Rule. or Eng
land will have no rule at all.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1910-02-12

A writer on India in one of the maya
zines says that the English in the
East do not appear to have learned
anything new In the government of
colonies and that they are repeating the
same fatal blunders of sixty years ago
in driving the natives to mutinies and
transformations. And yet a late presi-
dent of the United States took occasion
to praise the government Of India by
the English, and the Republican party
is initiating the government of India
in Porto Rico and the Philippines.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1910-02-12

years of service have been filled with
spiritual duties, and while his devo-
ton to his church activities has been
exceptionally faithful, he has found
opportunity to devote a share of his
time to the civic uplift of the city and
to show loyal interest in every move
ment for social bettcrment. The Dis
patch participates in the rejoicing that
honors have come to him, and all the
more that he has not been called away
to another field of labor; and takes oc-
casion to congratulate Archbishop Ire
land on the wisdom Of his recommend
alton of Father Lawler for the honor
of a bishopric."
The Irish Standard is pleased to put
before its readers the complimentary
words Of its secular contemporaries
regarding Father Lawler, and takes
this opportunity of Offering it's felicia
tions to Archbishop Ireland on his ex-
cellent judgment in selecting that
worthy priest for his coadjutor. Father
Lawler is full of life and vigor and has
the enthusiasm necessary for accom-
plishing great work in the archdiocese
Of st. Paul. He has the confidence
and cooperation of the people, ir.
respective of creed; and whatever he
undertakes for the glory of God and
the good of humanity will be success
fully achieved.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1910-02-12

fort and convenience l entertain the
profoundest solicitudc; if there ts one
whose smallest want stirs my sympa-
thetic soul to its serenest depths, it Ia
your oflceholder, your public function
airy. When I see one Of that noble
army Of martyrs bid adieu to home and
all the sweets of private life, for which
he ia so eminently fitted by nature, to
country's service for four long years,
Homer's touching picture of the last
sad scene between the noble Hector
and his weeping family rises before
my compassionate imagination. When
see him plunge recklessly into an
office of whose duties he is profoundly
and dehantly ignorant, l am reminded
Of the self-sacriflcing heroism of Cur
thus when he leaped into the yawning
gulf that opened in the Roman forum.
When behold him sadly contemplate
ing his majestic features in one Of
those gorgeous and costly mirrors fur
nished him at public expense, my heart
goes out to him In deepest sympathy.
When see him seated sorrowfully at a
miserable repast of sea turtle and
champagne, my very bowels yearn for
him. And when see him perform the
only duty, perhaps, for which he is
fully competent-signing the receipt
for his monthly pay-1 am SO over
whelmed with pity for his wretchcd
condition that I wish were in his
place." s.
1t was the following session, as I
have said, that "the sage of Lebanon"
made his memorable speech on 1.-THE
Zenith City of the Unsalted Seas"
Whenever Mr.. Knott spoke in Congress-
unlike most of his colleagues, he al
ways had an audience. The members
left their seats and flocked around him
in the assurance of enjoying "the feast
of reason and the flow Of soul" which
they knew awaited them. On one oc-
casion, when the fall of the Speaker .
gavel announced the expiration Of
Knots time, an impulsive admirer.
forgetful of Congressional decorum,
cried out: "Oh, On it, stop the
clock!" A volume of Proctor Knots
best speeches would add another clas-
sic to-. our English literature, despite
the dictum of penny-a-liners of the
Curtis variety.
H. F. l..
Minneapolis, Feb. Z, 1910.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1910-02-12

of its sympathy with the factionists Of
which himself is the chief. Whatever
O'Briens motives may be in Ga sting
aspers. ons on any Irish organization
composed of his own native cc-re-
ligionists, 1t is unworthy of him to
charge the Redmondites with discrlm
lnation against the Irish F,ot.stants.
He is reported to have written the fol-
lowing in the London Telegraph
"He, however, welcomes the Protest.
ant support his friends reserved, be-
cause it proves that the efforts of Inn
self and his friends, made in the face
Of almost impossible odds, to secure
generous treatment for item, hos COM
pletely disarmed the suspicious of the
Professionals in the South as Ia their
future in self-governei ireland, and as
soon as the Ulster Protestants are
similarly treasured Home Rule will be
a mere question of friendly settlement
between Protestant and Catholic Irish
men,"
William O'Brien is one of the last
lrishmen we ever expected to say that
the Irish Protestants did not receive
generous treatment" from their Cath
Ollie fellow countrymen. The Protest
ants he refers to are Tories and not
Home Rulers He received their votes
in Cork or he would have been de-
feated. Many Home Rule Professionals
in Ireland are recognized politically by
the Catholics and several Catholic coz
stituencies are represented by them in
parliament, on country boards, and in
municipal bodies. 1t is only where Tory
Protestants predominant that Catholics
hold no Office in the land Of their birth,
either appointive or elective. O'Brien
knows better, but he is now factionist
and an insurgent bent on mischief.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1910-02-12

the Catholic Church does not believe
in religious liberty and forbids it wher-
ever 1t has the power. Look at the
countries of the world today and where
does Bishop Hartzell Of Africa find
restrictions on the rights of man be-
cause of the religious belief of tho
subjects? BY the way, who is Bishop
Hartzell of Africa anyway? If he were
asked to prove his assertion he would
fnd himself unable to do so. That kind
of talk may do in Africa but not in the
United States where religious tolera-
ton was first granted by the Catholics
of Maryland. He ought to read Ban
croft and other American historians
on the subject.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1910-02-12
Minneapolis, Feb. Z, 1910.
Dryer for Congress.
Editor Irish Standard:

I thank you for announcing in your
last issue that I had again filed for
congress. Will you kindly permit me
to make the following statement
through your columns?: Since Henne-
pin county has been congressional
district in itself we have had nine
contests in which the Republican party
had but two candidates, Fletcher and
Nye. The result has been eight vic
tories and one defeat; whereas the
Democratic party has had nine diff
ferent candidates, resulting in eight
defeats and one victory. This may
have been good policy on the part of
the candidates but very poor politics
on the part of our party, as it seems to
me that, being in the minority as we
are, candidate in one contest does
not much more than break the ground
and should he remain in the field for
another race he would find that the
first contest would give him an ad-
vantage over a new man.
John Lind (our only victor) had
been congressman for three terms and
governor for one term; consequently
the mere announcement on his part
that he intended to file was sufficient
in itself to break the ground.
Therefore you have my position
that having made good run in the
last contest have the ground broken
for the next; and in view Of the fact
that the tariff Gas revised by its
friends) has been revised for its friends
only, and not for the people, that the
people will deal more kindly with the
boiler maker in the second contest
-THOS. P. DIVER.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1910-02-12

A Yale professor of political econo-
my, whose name is not worth giving,
declares that the high cost of living
Is due to the fact that "the gold mar
ket is glutted." The people find it very
hard to get gold, Notwithstanding the
Wall Street, and controlled by the
plutocracy. The professor should
guess again and explain the cause Of
the Secretary of the Treasury came to
the rescue Of the gold gamblers.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1910-02-12

The modern Romeo helped his Juliet
to descend from the vine covered bal
cony. ....
Dearest" he called when she had
climbed into the big automobile,
should we take along the rope ladder?"
And just then an upper window was
raised and the old man leaned out
Just leave that thar ladder where
it is, young man." he cautioned. "I've
got couple of more gals I expect to
get of my hands,"
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1910-02-12

q, So little interest do Congressman
take in legislation at the nations cap
ital that Speaker Cannon recently
called on the sergeant-at-arms to bring
In a sufficient number to form a quo
rum for the transaction of business.
During the present session, which con-
vened over two months ago, not a
single piece of legislation of any i'm
portance has been passed. The 4s3
members of the two houses have only
drawn their salaries at the rate of
1926 a month each. 1t is about time
for them to waken up or adjourn.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1910-02-12

Methodist propaganda. 1t has gone so
far that Catholics have organized the
Society for the Preservation of the
Faith to fight against it.
THE purpose Of the work of the
Methodist association in Rome is con-
fessed openly. The means employed
are by no means honorable. They take
every advantage of the poverty of the
poor OF Rome. The books circulated
and displayed in the windows of their
bookstores are ISLANDERS against the
Catholic faith, the holy pontiff at Rome
and misrepresentation Of the whole
Catholic system. The success of the
movement is far from adequate to the
efforts put forth and the money ex-
pended. They do not make permanent
Methodists of Italian Catholics. They
may possibly detach pupils from the
Catholic church, and this means from
all Christian things for Italians.
1T was simply impossible for the
holy father; In his official position AZ
a sovereign pontiff of the Catholic
church to do aught else than to say
politely to Mr.. Fairbanks-T cannot
receive you and accord you the honors
due you in all other circumstances as
an American and distinguished rep
resentative of a great republic
Zone arm Of combat which those
Methodists employ in Rome as 1 know
from personal observation is to create
the impression that Methodism is tho
great faith of the American republic,
and that the Catholic church il merely
an Italian institution"
The Irish Standard has no desire to
say an unjust word against the Meth
odists or any other religious denomi-
nation, but we must say that the tao
tics adopted by them in the conversion
of Roman Catholics in foreign lands
Is reprehensible in the extreme. What
Methodists believe is difficult to deter
mine among the seventeen branches
into which they are divided in this
country. If they admit that Catholics
are christians, why not let them alone
and go out among the pagans of Asia
and Africa, or better still, why not
try to get the men of their own de-
nomination at home to attend the
services and not have the congrega-
tions mainly composed of pious fe-
males? Plenty work for American
Methodists without going to Rome to
catch hungry, poor Italians who will
desert them at the first opportunity.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1910-02-12

No communications of an offensive
nature on Ireland or any other sub
ject will find insertion in these
columns. Correspondents will remem-
Der that abuse or insulting insinua-
lection of articles addressed to this
paper for publication.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1910-02-12

The Methodist Episcopal bishop for
africa, Rt Rev. Joseph G. Hartzell, Is,
slsan New York where he replied to the
rictures Of Archbishop Ireland on
ethodist methods in Rome by saying