Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-02-18
For An Idle Moment

"To what do you attribute your un-
varying success?"
"To heing picked early for the village
fool. Nobody ever tried to get me t" in
dOrse a note or go into scheme"
"Why did you, who are hypochnn-
driac, have so much faith in doctors?"
Because know they're not such fools
as to let good customer like me die
Bones-Who was the greatest financier
ever known2
Exchange-NOah; because he f,'ated
his stock when the whole world WAS in
liquidation.
Birmingham, England, was the home
of prize fighting when the ring was pat
ronized by literature and royalty. There
was Bendigo, who became an enemy 70
ali unrighteousness. "Wot's athrists?'
he asked once, on being told that sth-
ering Of men he saw were Of that per-
suasion. He was told. Don't believe
in no God, don't they?" he shouted.
"Here, hold my coat; I'll socn show 'em
wOt's wOt p'
In a western county OF Kansas the
dead body of an unknown man was re-
Gently discovered, says the Kans,s City
Journal. In his pockets they found 800
III bank notes and big revolver.
"What about it?" asked the inn cent
one,
"YOu would EXPECT that they'0 have
used that hundred in finding his rela-
tives, or, failing in that, have given him
decent burial, now, wouldn't you?"
Sure"
"Well, they didn't" is the answer.
"They arraigned his dead body Def re- a
justice of the peace for CARRYING con
cealed weapons and fined him 500, and
buried him in the potter's field" ~-
The bridegroom of year went d..wn
to his Office one day grinning ali over his
face. All morning long he hummpd aud
whistled till his partner asked him what
he'd had.
'My wife told me this morning that |
am model husband" he answered
proudly.
81 don't call that much of compli-
ment."
"I'd like to know why not"
well, you just look that word model
up in the dictionary" was the advice.
He did and this is what he read:
"Model-A small pattern; miniature If
something on larger scale"
The sad story is quickly told. "Just
one kissp he begged. "For old sakes'
sake, one kiss ere we part foreverW
mo, James," she answered, gently but
firmly. 81 value nv kisses too highly to
bestow them for the asking. can not
so cheaper myself"
And so he went out into the night.
But through the window he had last
glimpse of her. She was kissing the
nose of an asthmatic pug, which she had
gathered into her arms.
Tommy came out of room in which
his father was taeking down carpet. He
was crying Justify.
"Why, Tommy, what's the matter ?"'
asked his mother.
"P-p-p-papa hit his finger with thf
hammer" sobbed Tommy.
"Well, you needn't cry at a thing like
that" comforted the mother VII.
didn't you laugh?"
Il did," sobbed Tommy, disconsolate.
% 's-'-a-
The head of New York firm having
important interests in Italy decide,fs. me
time ago, in view OF the death Of an old
and reliable clerk, who, of all in the es-
tablishment, was the only one 70 lavs a
good knowledge of the Italian tongue,
that his own son, also member t the
concern, ought to take up the study If
that language.
Recently friend met the young man.
81 understand" said he, shat cure
actually studying Italian"
"Why, yes," said the other, 'I've been
at it for several months under teacher
just from the other side"
What progress?' f
Good" was the answer. "He's begin
ming to speak English remarkably WE'LL"
During the Civil war, George Denker,
a German boy about Is years old. VIII"
had enlisted as volunteer frona Penn
sylvania, was slightly wounded in bat
tie and taken to hospital.
"Dumpy," as he was called, always
wore one of those old fashioned German
hats, which caused lots of fun for his
comrades.
Major Mcdowell, his commander r,
happy over the victory Of the day, and
ever ready to have fun with the German
boy, who could not speak English very
plainly, said to him as he saw him slit,
ing near stove in the hospital with his
arm in sling;
"Dumpy, remove that helmet"
"Das He'll Mitt? Das He'll Mitt vat?
eo;d tho Garp,on hoy ro@bor o,,L