The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-07-26
FHE AMERICAN Girl

SOME REASONS WHY SHE DOES
NOT MARRY.
The Prince Of Good Fellow. for q
Companion, but Too Self Reliant
to Depend on Her Husband.
My pen has been itching for some
months.to spatter of few accumu.
|,lating thoughts Or this subject. Not
even the monopolistic rayages OF
trust upon trust could give rise with
In me to such invectiyes as are cali
ed forth when l think of the grow
ing unfttedness of the average
American girl for matrimony.
AS companions and comrades in
plsasure-seeking the American girl
may acknowledge no peer. Jolly,
full of spirit, daring to recklessness.
she accepts nc; lead S'but her own.
She is the prince of good fellows.
The glad hand of comradeship is
gaily extended. She is even beconl-
ing as expert as ourselves In origi-
mating a multitude of barely-con-
ventional things that we have al
ways mysteriously referred to us
'doings."
But, to marry her, respectfully
decline. The very. Gelf-reliance up
on which she prides herself. would
also proves the undoing of the
house. What man, cares to aeknow-
ledge the existence of any initiative
other than his own within the four
walls Of his home. The cooperative
spirit unfolds, itself gloriously in
theory but in practice you eventually
find the cooperation solely between
the right and. left hand Of one per-
son. The human system. is 50 con-
stituted, that lacking the power 20
dominate. it become vitally nee
essary to be dominated. In business
two forces striving toward suprem-
acy will in time. resolve themselves
into first and second.
: You ask why this may not be so
in matrimony. Because these oppos-
ing forces can sonly be settled on a
business basis, inasmuch as they
are propelled by the lower british
characteristics, largely selfishness,
and must be governed by cold mat
ter-fact law. And this, in itself,
kills the sentiment necessary to dna-
trimony.
And the American girl, rapidly
becoming obessed with the idea Of
her supremacy, or at least equality,
with. despised man. is making Of her
self a. practically impossible matri-
monial factor, I'm that her iIidepen-
-dence is creating in herself an ell
ement of opposition that carries no
necessary quality or characteristic
for the true home life and mother
hood. The sweet dependency upon
the man so prominent few decades
ago is rapidly giving away to self
reliance in the feminine sex that
forecasts nothing but an increasing
clash OF wills in a bond so close as
that of matrimony.
This spirit of growing indepen-
dence is q harsh discordant note to
infuse into the home atmosphere. AS
in any corporation or combination Of
persons for an ultimate result, there
must be a guiding force, so the mat
rimonial combination must have its
pilot. And among my gentle, !"
friends fail to place single one
who would not believe herself COM
petent to be the guiding force, and
who would not take 1t upon herself
to assume as much of power as she
might be allowed.
Under these conditions no law OF
human nature could be invoked to
prevent friction. And where then
would be the honor. obedience and
Aoye on which matrimony has rested
from time immemorial? And even
could the possibility Of friction be
eliminated the ascendancy Of this in
dependent do-tor-myself-or-not-at-all
spirit Is largely responsible for the
growing familiarity Of the modern
American girl with the opposite sex.
1t is true that this familiarity, un-
thought of thirty years ago, does not
necessarily become question OF
morals, but 1t does endanger and Of
ten kill, the respect that every true
man accords woman. And with
this loss of respect bonds OF any
sort, matrimonial or otherwise, are
impossible.
Dodsing the issue with theory and
proverb as we may, yet the necessl-
ty of one ruling power in the home
still remains. Cast your eyes a.
mong your friends. You will find
happiness where there is court OF
last resort. Where this Is not the
case challenge you to show perfect
harmony, harmony devoid Of pet
ty frictions rife in modern matrimon-
ial tangles. And petty quarrels, or
at least quarrels with petty origin,