davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The sun., 1910-01-09
EVEN BREAK AT RAC0UETs.
Philadelphia and New York Doubles
zach win Match.

PHILADELPHIA, Jan. 8. .~Philadelphia and
New York broke even in the first Of the
season,s racquet nnatshes in doubles be
SSd. wi|sSnTi |sSTi.defsSs PHssss sHd Ssa..sd pd Ah,c
BsTssr and r. ;,,s Z; Whitney, NNsE ISoEE. y Syy
'sRsiat sasSt .nS Kew sshs sHSfEs
JAG soutsr. assistant to =. G. Tompkins
Al the hacqso. Club, defeated George
Stsnding, professional, Of the Tennis and
Racquet Club, New York. by games TO love.
In the hrst OF the emateur matches the
New YorkeRs early obtained the lead, but
il was Of brief duration, and when Potter
we're warmly applauded on their splendid
victory. The scores were:
~ ICeser and Df. =. A.
TMIsksy, Ptiladeirhis .is Is 10 ls--ss
n p Whitnec and NJ.
BarreT. New York. rs Is 10 rs 5-si
The match between George n. Brooke
and n, X. Cassatt, PHILADELPHIA, and 4, X
Waterbury and Reginald FinckP New
York, was too one sided to be really inter-
eetlnR. The New York pair played a much
better game all round than their opponents,
who appeared TO be out Of practice and out
of trafning. The scores:
L. e. Waterbury aud a. fincke.
q. b S escSss and n. x cs.-stt " ~ y
ssrcIAB Rx,ursrrios sAros.
J. souter, Philsdelphls ....-....iS IS 1S-is
q, Standfng NeW forh.,..r.,.y.-f.b i0-u
The sun., 1910-01-09
coLUMBIa ALUMNI .ro PLAY.
Rasketban Players Of Note WIN Meet the
Regular varsity FIve. 500

There will be a reunion OF old time ath-
Ietes on Tuesday night at the Columbia
gymnasium 10 watch the alumni Ave play
a game Of basketb&iI against the present
varsity combination. On the veterans
team will be Hal Townsend. 'Os, who powed
on the varsity crew at Poughkeepsie. was
a halfback on the football team and played
three years on the basketball team; Frank
O'CSnsen, 'et. cents on the varsity Ave
for the frat four yeafs OF ite existence and
captaIn Of the undefsated championship
combination OF is0sAOs; George Moore.
'O6, member OF champion team; Gus
iSos-os team: paok Ryan. '01. q .ysrIty
for four years. Connie Trpbenbach,' 'Ot.
one Of the New York G. g best swimmers
8: MslisseE, 90 one Of the fastest forwards
br. Jircmy Quinn Of the F5sndiing HospI-
tai, an old player At Columbia. will head =
staff OF students from the College Of Physi-
clans and Surgeons 70 render nrst aid TO
the veterans who fail 70 stand up under
tks game.
The sun., 1910-01-09
LAWN TENNIS.
spirited Play In sevsnth Regiment Tear.
nament.


The seventh Regiment tennis tourna-
ment was continued yesterday. the best
matches occurring in the regimental cham
plonship singles. william B. Crskfh, Jr.,
the present champion. worked his way into
the final round by the defeat Of his brother.
A. &. era gin, In the semi-nnals. The holder
Of the title gained the victory In straight
sets Of e-s. s--4. In the second round there
Hall and King smith, formerly Of Harvard.
Hall secured the arst set easily at t-s and
he had q lead In the second set. but Smith
braced himself and put Hail on the de-
fensive Smith kept up his aneed and won
the set 7--s. The ex-Harvard player weak
sned q bit In the third SGT and Hall won at
90. The victory puts Hall into the sernl-
Anal, whore he IL 70 meet Calhoun Ora gin,
ism b h ST crs sin i Won Sis n match IN he second
round from Charles NJ Ammerman
Only one match was. attempted In the
doubles and this was az, unnnishSd on aqSo1ppt
% semi anal round when Arthur 5. cra siS
Jr.. and W. Merrill Hall. Each aide won a
Sssiasa,si cs.np.eesh!p sIssls.-sseena
"a. 81, s-si William b. oratln, IT,. asieased
onssass ss@i. maj EoSsS1YI b craria. Jr.. De.
ssS .ds e.soSs 6;ssn az,
W wlliisn. = orssls lr' and Walter hefii
Mss1ii sf a. minus D ssfs.ssd sSs%s c.ss. sssr
minus half 20. .pY default.
rsSSoS s:; anus 81 Ssi..Isd e. & c.S T.
minus half q, $3.50. -,
~ ssa fa:sSoa SSS: S.s 1S' r. & ~.
90.
The sun., 1910-01-09

Trophy shoot & :; T.IFs,s a.naiespch a :, e. s.insT
). J.; }; Il: Ernst. . = z >. stephenson. :e5s,S5
MGss ssps:ss b. 81 + & arnisss nHs1' H. p ay: Es'ss &
DR. Keyes, 4. II: A. r. Allan, scratch, Is; W. y.
N.sss1H:es ss1 ssi.sA s c hsne nfs;HS sssSsr H.
bsn1sS Ss;'' !: n 4 r. I 4 BSsrS:I. " %sedsosf s.
lockwood scratch. .i J. p. Fairch!ld IT, scratch.
a allHfR HSpri". ;ds,'s e. g. FsHS5aeE.fR FsI%eE. si:
scratch. 10; +. q. Stephenson. scratch. is; J. =.
kTmis.gs l. ls EsIdsTyssT R,T5oI scratch. ;s 4;
J. j. Keyes. 4. Il; W. W. Marshall, .. II: b. c.
Stake Trophy-.es targets, hAndicAp-Dr. J. J.
Ksyes I. iS:W g. Damon 5. q; r. B.. stephen
sOn.' scratch. =: r: v; MO.stt, l. a. a; s.insr.
l. NJ p. faireSild. Jr.. scratch. u: l. NJ Palmer.
r. scratch; "a pr v.nas1T.,, Maas,ln: scEs1sh .1s
ssra'et ala':i;a i: a = I; dsSa!IsS;oa. 4 ! z HOB Mss:
= sl&es & J. NJ Ernst 4. q. ~'" ""''
" Moo .on-:s iaTlets. haadIc.p-wW. g, Damron.
8. .; +. B. Stephenson scratch "a; DR. keyes'
fTopny sAeo.-l,s tsrss,:mT, 5, !., "; Mo,s.p 4
fIlaa. "a DR.. Martin. IL n e. HendricssOh. IL
D. Team Rses1ss targets. handicsp--A. Y. Hen
and q B. Brower, = 20; Or. j. !. Reyes and r.
M.rsS o0sSH ssfssch. ~ w. noieat and L. nd q hop 5
Eins 5. q: q. q, ny AT and G. 4. lockwood. . ~.
r. W' Moifst. "a: X. ". Martin, il: x. r. Allan.
is ii. ". woodcock. ~ W, @. Damren. u; j. p
r.rcaid b slc1.r r. ~ sSsT %, Rayner sr%
io;c. a LLocssoqd' ~ G. s sHEst. = Dr. ,Ksyes
IM W nSr.ns is Il Esn,t m rsimer' it, ID A. e.
Shooton-is tsrTets-F. B. Stephenson 49,
Gun Case shoo,---ss targets. handicap. II.
Ernst, Q. a. r, W. Nofeu. ], "a II. W woodcock.
], -; r. B. Stcphenscn. scratch q: a. Z. Hen
&. Damron. D ~: Dr. Reyes :. q; NJ sunef, !. %;
J. p Ealrchiid. scrstch. .; I, G: Hopkins. 4. ~
q. brower. !. JsiC. lockwood. I, IA; Or. Martin,
scratch, Is: J. r. Armitaee. ]. 10.
Reyes. = %: r. ". Monett. s;i @: Brewer. :. e;
r. b. stephenson. scratch. e0 >. =. Armitage, 4.
Vanderveer, scratch, 10; L. Q. Hopkins, 4. "a: J.
H. Ernst, 3 is; O. A. lockwood. I. is; Z. v, Wood
eCcx, ccrstcb ~: IN P1imsr' II scratch. S
The sun., 1910-01-09
CAPE MAY RACES.
BroehIyn n. &. Announces Three Events
fer Independence Day.

Cen. David Z. Austen. chairman OF the
regatta committee OF the Brooklyn Yacht
Club, has announced the conditions for the
annual races over the Cape May course.
ThIs year In addition TO the race for sailing
craft there will be two races for power
boats and these will be Qlaseed,, thoee be-
tween 20 and 70 feet over all length and thoes
over 10 feet and under 100 feet over all
The 1909 r1ilea Of the American Power Boat
Association are 70 govern these contests,
William, p. KigEins have been selected ss
committee 70 look after the intereets Of the
pcwor beat men. Gcn. Austen's assistants
on the regatta committee are Conrad v.
DykemAn and Conrad b. 6chmitt,
The course for the races will be from q
starting line Oh the BROOKLYN Yacht Club
house on Ora veeend Bay TO the SQuthN west
Spit buoys, then 20 Scotland lIehtship, Fire
Island likbtship, 70 Northeast End lishtship
on Cape May and return 9vef the same
course. The sailing oraft will flnieh at the
Scotland ilghtshlp and the power boats on
the clubhouse. The length OF this course
" The Th start will be made ON Saturday,
July :. The sailing yachts Will be sta rted
afternoon. Gen. Austen annSvncss that
the prizes 70 the winning yachts In each
event will be very valuable and the number
OF prizes Will depend ON the number OF
starters
The sun., 1910-01-09
WENzELL SHOOTS SIN GOALS.
brilliant Plsyine In second Halt Enables
NIldshlpuaen 70 Beat q. G. NY.

ANNAPOLIS. Md. Jan. s.-The midship-
men defeated the City College OF New York
this afternoon by 20 10 81. the victory being
largely due 10 q remarkable squirt Of Wen
zeli In the last half. His playing had not
been noteworthy In the nrst period. but
In the second he scored six goals In rapid
by the Midshipmen during the half
The Navy started the game with three
we're three field goals and a goal from the
foul line by the visitors, which put them
one to the good. The Aidshipmen grad
ually forged ahead In the remainder OF
the period and the half ended IA 10 10. At
the opening OF the second half the visitors
again took the lead, when Wenzelfs series
Of brilliant shots decided the game. Bar
pey. OF the visitors was very fast and shot
finely.
The sun., 1910-01-09

Bssk etban Team Beats Pratt Institute
by - 10 ls.

New York Cniversity's basketball team
defeRied the Pratt Institute Of Technology
quintet last night in the latter's gymnasium
by a score OF 81 10 N. This game was the
hardest and fastest contest the New York
hve has had this season, The court was
rather small, thus making the passes short
and rnappy. Both teams were good IN
defence. but New York University was
superior In team work. The score ne tho
end OF the fret half was 20 TO in New York
Cniversity's favor.
Al the beginning of the second half Pratt
braced and for time made things very
interesting for the violet team. Capt.
to hard work again and for the rest OF the
hall the University team played the Brook
lyn boys completely on their feet
The sun., 1910-01-09
REsrRIoTINe BALL PLAYERS.
New Contracts Prevent Men IndulBins In
DanGeroas Sports.

CINcINNArI, jan. S.-Chairman Herr
mann OF the National Commission VIII leave
for CHICAGO tomorrow for the purpose
Of meeting the Representatives OF the various
rni-profeAslonAl teams OF the Windy City
left open for national agreement oontraot
The new national agreement oontracts,
oxpsrs over plsysrs. VIII . ,Tssds Tor dGs.
trihytion BY the Eetlopal Eommlssion
pIsYins % bsseSslI. foosSsli. SSas SasRs.BSi Or
any other dan gerpus sport during the on
season without the oonsent OF the club
The sun., 1910-01-09
Ws.t pe,nt wins At BasketDa,l.

wEsT PoTSr. Jan Sin a somewhat slow
Basketball game here to-day the Army de-
feated Trinity by q score Of 30 to rs The
cadets teamwork and passing was gIeatly
superior 10 the ylsitors And indiv tdually the
soldiers covered 90 well that the collegians
aAd few chances to score Eight OF Trim
hy's points vera made by. Gildersleeve on
.onR spectacular shots. CopthoTn was Q
Ioper Of strength IN blocking and Connard
Sss The star point getter Of the game for
The sun., 1910-01-09
Inc nneup ana summary.
NaaaI AEaAssas Das sfffaaE

yGsf eNss g. oss S% *. a c q SsT
--WenxelI, 9: mi. .; Douglas. Jacobs, Wills. J.
College City Of New YOrk-Barney, 4: Kaufman. g.
Academy --N enEell. .. College CITY Of New York
-Barnsy. Hefenee-Bcnnett. University Of Penn
sylvanIa. Time OF hAlves-O mlnu tes. Subsei-
tutes-Hess for Goldman, Freeman Tor Hess.
The sun., 1910-01-09
BtiAlMrsis.

G.. Worcester. 100, won iast nights game
In The annual amateur handicap fsa tour
nament st the Knicksrbocker Academy in
Brooklyn. He dsfeated George Baxter.
100. by q score Of io0. TO ipi. Worcester
ssSter MADE a hish rap Of III, Hk average
smith win play to-norTow niskt.
The sun., 1910-01-09

corsNasryard 4 ccras. "a. .S.;;sE h. M.css
s small s for chadwsci. for Harvard. Referse1w,
Russell. Hoctsy Club Of NeC YORK As,i,sanl @
York. Goal Wnpires-f. Campbell. Harvard
J. Gibson. Cornell Timers-w. J. Croker Wan
derers n. O., and n. =. Won Beruuth. Coumbla
Tine Of hAives--O minutee.
The sun., 1910-01-09
EARLY TIDES TRACK RECORD.
Ne Runs six Furlonss I'm I.H7 I-s At
Juarez.

JUARKz, Jan. s-Early Tide in winning
the fourth event, handicap at six fur
longs, at TerraEas Park, established a
new track record for the distance. stepping
Il in IL is, which is three-fift OF a second
faster than the best previous time made by
E1riy Tide carried 100 pounds and was
admirably ridden by Rice His race was
ali the more astonishing as he wanted TO,
run out around the turns and all throu gh
the stretch, but Rice Kept whipping him
over the head and mana aged to keep him In
close TO the rail.
Jockeys Pickens, Mondan and StranR
have been suspended by the stewards and
their cases. are being investigated. Jockey
j, Wilson has also been suspended. but IL
oniy' SnHreI Fsyorite. " Jared badly to-day. as
only two mana ged to get home In front.
The summaries:
First RAce--six. furloggs-Deif. 100 RIcel
Luke Gates, 70: tAssdHl' z 49,, 70 L tniTd H Ttms
g:ss g:eonS SnR RAestons % %IIsHPedro i6s CGsrner,
q 10 S, won; orc Sndduth. 100 Ramsey), 30 20 |.
:scond o9ns,Sp l1 cTssxS i % In,TG
Miss Ida NIbick, Gull. The SIcker Alfnena
and Knight Blsxe also ran,
even money. second; FOlk Ics IKennedy1, g % I.
S.T SS .IS T c:Ssn S N:d EssSsr s.S rsS Sir
Fourth RAce-Slx fuLlongs.-Early Tide 100
dSdaSS g MON 10. snsS aSc.hsy, s o rS
Time. III. is. Gypsy King and hArchmene'
Fifth Rae.-slx fifIOnEs-DredkiB. 100 tRlceJ
second: @ joe ESrieh. 100 &oesworih1. Is 70 i, third
Tune ilS Kls%" KlsGe.ss IL u; PsIle"S' cheS"ardps
.sfsih RAoe..one mile Lieh ;houss, loI !Mc-
Caheyl. 20 J. won: Acqula; los IBenscho.enl
saira SS L. .rS1sa T%s. .sS s wSifsrson. yoiser Ia:
@rsver. Ada o. Walker and 81. Kilda also ran,
The sun., 1910-01-09
Tne Newtown Bssketbsn Game RouEh
~ and one sided. N

The Newtown High school basksthan
team. defeated Eluseing .sk Avon Hall ~
The renis was rough and one sided, y.
johnson shot seven baskets Tor Ne~town.
The sun., 1910-01-09
Rocne.ter eeats AlIesheny FNe.

RooHRsrRR. Jan. s.--The University Of
Rochester defeated the Allegheny hea-
ketball Ave at the Alufnnse RyInna SUM,
by score Of n 70 -. rE
The sun., 1910-01-09
y.,e and Harvar d Fan : Q Break Chess TIE.

NEW HAVEN, Jan. s.-The tie chess
match between the university chess clubs
OF Harvard and Yals was played on At
New Haven to-day when Chandler and
Jefferson were pitted against Mitchell and
ward and the former Yale. Chandler and
RyerIy were playing white. Both games
sdiudicated. Chandler and Mitchell played
a Ray Lopez, Registering sixty moves,
while nyerly and Jefferson were enga ged
In a French defence. which was. adjourned
after forty y-eight moves. -,
The sun., 1910-01-09

from foor-oirsdGnsky, g. wachenfeid, a. Smith
q Rrodhead: ;; L0nySwo&rsn: H. 2 TasIe' rs I Glyss:
head. 2. Tutse, T. Iseferee. Rogers, Savage
9s%nA'is%S geT%s; MsT Y0Es ~
smith. Dale for Helfant. Pratt instituie-F1em-
Ing Tor smldi, Porter for Stenele. Time Of
halves: "a minutes.
The sun., 1910-01-09

IsmsB meats AIsrisnt q, Bassctgsss
BsraxLsBkN. Pa JsD. 81 --Lehish heal
aAIbrIght College at basketbsf BY A = A
-
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-08
In Wild Walaa.

Tourlst-Good morning. my pretty
maid. Whose sheep are theser
Shepberdess-They belong TO Mr..
Goronwy Cadwaladr. sir.
T.-Oh. very nice name too! And
where does he liver
Sat Tre'rgeifrgwyntion.
T.-Have you been much from
homer
S.--Only In Anglesey. sir. went
with my brother and my sister to LA.
nerchymeddymmondo and from there
&c see Creigiau Crugyll and came back
TO airmathafarneithat, and then
T.-Hold hard. Let me breathe a
llttlel Well. where afierward?
Swell. my brother had to go back
to Chwarel Caebralchycafn aud my
sister 10 Llanaelhaiarn. but on our
way home we went to see the little
church by the river-such a funny old
fashioned church. sir.
T.-Where Is it7 ! mean what par.
ishI
S. - In Llnnfairpwlgwyngyllgagery'
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES.
T.--Mercy on us! That's enough!
However shall ind such a placet-
London Spectator.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-08
That cerius Whistler.

or Whistler Lady ST. Heller in
Memories Of Fifty Years writes thus:
HE was a genius and had all the de-
fects and qualities OF one. 10 bin
everything was a joke, the subject of
bonmot. The lightest and daintlest
OF persihage was what he excelled in,
and one never had a dull moment in
his company. he was always late for
dinner. arranging the immortal lock
Of gray hair In It's proper place as he
came into the room. with apologies
and excuses. none Of them true-of
which be was perfectly conscious aud
also of the fact that bis host and
hostess knew that they were not.
Wherever he was there would be a cir
Gle listening to him. and his ringing
laugh would be heard all over the
room as he sent his shafts right and
left into the joints of the arinor of
those who were attacking him. IL was
a great surprise and almost q shock
when be appeared as benedict"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-08
on LIlLInn cni. and RnbbIt.

II Is mistaken idea that tue proper
way TO lift full grown cat Is by the
nape OF It's neck without supporting
the lower part OF It's body with the
other baud II Is true that the mother
cat carries young kittens by graSping
IN her mouth the loose skin AT the
back OF her otisprings uecs. but a
tiny kitten Is n very different matter
from large rat. and. indeed. the only
way TO lift a kitten without squeezing
or hurting It's soft little body Is TO lifi
It by It's neck hut after II has grown
larger It's own weight Is too great to
be supported by such bit OF skin and
fur as Is so grasped by the hand, and
many a cat suffers perfect tortures by
being held In this manner and Is quite
helpless to run or struggle, as In such
a position certain OF It's muscles eau
not be controlled. and 1t is absolutely
at the mercy OF its unconscious tor
mentor
The same rule should be observed in
lifting rabbits by their ears. They
should always be partially supported
by the free hand aud not allowed to
dangie with their whole weight strain
ing from their large but necessarily
delicate ears Watchword.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-08

Turtle aud tarlna tafeu together rep.
resent to those who live on the Anna.
zon. be they white, negro or Indian or
one OF the numerous crossbreeds.
what the salmon does TO the Alaska
indian, the cOcoanut TO the south sea
Islander and rice TO the Mongolian.
A short run of salmon IN the Alaska
rivers, a crop failure In the paddy
helds OF China. hurricane 10 the
south sea islands. all reduce to the
same thing-famine. On the Amazon
a shortage OF turtles may be tided
over by plentitude OF farina, or vice
versa. failure OF both turtles and
farina In the same year brings great
and widespread distress. lNGrina Is a
crude. locally made product OF the
root Of the manioc. u further re6ne-
ment OF which results In the tapioca OF
commerce. Tapioca Is the pure starch
OF the root, farina the starch mixed
with n woody tiber, the latter impart-
ing q yellowlsh color to the compound
Farlna under number of different
names is more OF less OF staple with
the natives in all Of tropical America
from the West Indies 10 Paraguay
Los Angeles Times.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-08
How Eskimos Measure Time.

Writing OF the Eskimo methods OF
measuring time In a region OF six
months day or night, Harry Whitney
In Outing says:
The Eskimo divides bis periods into
sleeps but sleep does not designate
by any means the civilized measure Of
day aud night 1t is. In fact, very
uncertain term. Often we travelled
from twenty TO thirty hours without
rest. Now there was no night, and |
so far lost count of time that ! was
not at all certain OF dates. Our single
marches with the succeeding sleep
not infrequeutly covered q full forty
eight hours, or two ordinary days.
The object of these extended marches
was to take advantage of good wealth
er and general conditions or because
no safe or convenient camping place
presented itself in the interim"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-08

During a period of political agitation
a stranger arrived in Magdeburg,
where. oB applying to the authorities.
he obtained permit or ticket OF resi-
dence He had not been long In the
town before ne became aware that his
steps were being dogged by n man in
blue uniform. lie bore II for days.
but at last said TO the spy: Sir. do you
wish TO drive me madI Why do you
pursue me In this wayY
Il am detective. and my instruc-
tions are not 70 lose sight OF you." was
the quiet answer.
"Why, what fault have the police
10 fnd with me7" shouted the stran-
ger In the greatest excitement "ay
passport Is In order. Here is my
ticket of residence am citizen Of
Berlin. Why do you follow me aboutT'
1T states in your passport" was
the reply. that you we're going TO re-
side here for pleasure. That looked
suspicious, as II is the drst time any
one came to reside In Magdeburg for
pleasure"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-08
A Lono Fslt Want.

An American once went to Windsor
castle and insisted upon seeing Queen
Victoria. He was told that 1t was
quite impossible. as an audience with
the queen could be had only by ap-
pointment. Still he persisted, and then
they told him Hatfooted that before
seeing the queen he must state the OBJ
1ect of his visit. He said he wanted
to show her a new piece OF furniture,
a throne bed--a perfect throne by day
and a perfect bed by night.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-08

The following incident was told me
by Lecky 10 somewhat whimsical Illus
tration Of his belief that II religion
were to die out of all other European
nations 1t would still survive In Hol-
land: A Dutch peasant was in sore
straits about the impossiblllty OF max
ing bis hens observe Sunday. He came
TO his pastor with present OF eggs
He regretted, he said, that he could
not prevent SS,s hens from laying these
on the Sabbath. but he made what
amends be could by giving them to
Gods minister that they might be
handed over to the poor and inhrm.-
''Old and Odd Memories"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-08
Two Of a Kind.

There is something about the char.
acter of mules that makes their own
ers at times almost equally stubborn.
In the Washington Star this dialogue
concerning one If not two such animals
is reported;
"Why don't you get rid of that
muleT'
"Well. SUBJ" answered Erastus Pink
ley, II hates to give in. II was to
trade that mule of he'd regard 1t as a
personal victory. Hes been tryin' fob
de las six weeks to get rid O. me-"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-08
More Than One Way.

The caller, man whom he had
known In the old town back In Penn
sylvania. had dropped In to talk old
times with the busy lawyer, and the
lawypr had endured II patiently for
an uuur aud half Then, unseen by
the caller. be pushed a small knob at
the end OF his desk, and bell rang
IN the adjoining room.
Excuse me moment, Mr. Hocken-
splutter." ne said. stepping Tito the
other room and proceeding to hold this
one sided conversation oyc' an imag-
mary telephone:
"HelloT
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-08
An Iniuatica.

When George III. first met Sir John
Irwin. a thirsty soul, he remarked
facetiously. "They tell me. Sir John.
you're fond of a glass OF wine"
"Your majesty" gravely responded
the courtier, your informants do me
a great injustice. They should have
said bottle."-St. Louis Republic.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-08
A HeIpina Hand.

Mistress Churrying frantically)-Ma-
ry, what time is 1t now? Maid-Half
past 2, mum. Mistress-Oh. thought
it was later. still have twenty min
utes TO catch the steamer. Maid-Yis,
mum. knew ye'd be rushed. so set
the clock back thirty minutes to give
20 more time.-Puck.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-08
Hsr Sad Fin,.h.

"DId you ever know girl to die for
lover
eyes"
'Dld she Just fade away and die be-
cause some man deserted herT
mo. She Just took in washing and
worked herself to death because the
man she loved married her."-Houston
Post.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-08
As Remembered.

Wife Crevisiting the scene of her be
trothaD-I remember. Algernon, so well
when you proposed to me how painful
" embarrassed You were. AlgeFnon-
Yes, dear, and remember 80 well
how kind and encouraging you were
and how easy you made It for me.
after all.-London Tit-Blts.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-08

A small bag cannot be made to con-
tain what is large. A short rope eau
not be used to draw water from a
deep weIl.-Chlnese Proverb.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-08
Would Re Tsksn cars of.

II fear am not worthy OF you
"Never mind about that" responded
the young lady with the square jaw.
Between mother and myself | imag-
ine we can effect the necessary I'm
provements." s."-Louisville Courier-Jour-
nal
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-08
The Medium.

Papa. what is the person called who
brings you in contact with the spirit
worldT
"A bartender, my son."-Exchange
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-08

mo. Bertha. I'll not have time to
come home for dinner It's already
4:3O. and ! have several hours work
yet to do. an very busy and have
been detained"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-08
Experience.

Experience would be wonderful
asset but for one thing"
whats thaty'
"You can never sell 1t for what It
cost YOU"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-08
Winter Tourist Rates.

The above rates apply from Hop
kinsville, KY, on sale daily Novem-
Der lst to April 9Oth. 1910 via. Illi-
nois Central Ry.
T. L. Morrow, Agent.