El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1910-12-27
HE'S GREATLY FATIGUED
Tales Returning Travellers Tell Weary
and Bore Him.
SSVV THEN l was in Rome" began
w the returned traveller. Il

Il don't care what you saw" inter-
rupted the peevish man. 1T would be
impossible for you to see anything IN
Rome that would be of interest to me.
lot OF jays went abroad last Summer
and every time they meet me they begi.
teAlns me of the strange manners and
customs OF the Dyaks, or the ruined tenn
PIES Oh Greece, or the noble cathedraIs
IN ilnnuctoo. l have stood it as long as
am going 10 and the next man who
llies TO tel me about hrs thrilling adj
ventures IN the Pyrenees or mis- hair-
oreadth escapes on the Gauges is going
nit him
mere ought to be a law providing
p 1913 ana penalties for those who go 10
5orn ioIeign country and then come
s aoine ana bore their friends telling about
'He lInSs they saw and heard
The ago. when people went across
hand IN ~ saiing ships and had hand-to-
go SOnnictS with pirates and sea lions
5ho whales and other monsters Of fbe
Lbeep' II was something of distinction TO
I've oeen abroad, and a man VINO had
ha Inc journey couldn't be blamed if
u !. spent the rest of his life telling about
II. In fact. L can easily ina pi3a tSas
peopIe- urged him to repeat his tale over
auu over again But times have changed
man N nuo "a an extent that the distinguished
u
nas never been abroad
In the Little Old U s.
am such celebrity. 1 have never
pushed myself over the Alps: I never
want 10 see the Alps. AS compared with
Our own Rocky Mountains they ara
onedP made-in-Germany affairs- and I
m LOO, look at them without thinking of
me bargain counter in a denarrnSSe0t
StoTe L believe in patronizfng hone IN.
no,'ns II a man is suffering to see
t5no'Tiii s let him go TO Colorado, where
~ nild me real goods. with the letters
y, D blown in the glass
man crosses some one-borsa ooa,r
oe.ef ano when he comes back hons
&c uIes 10 leave the impression thai
b;. sot up special programme for
n ne SeHeHC everything that ever hap.
$500 a. sea was featured for his enter
lelinent- He saw Watersnorts go -.
sSe!Pehts and icebergs. / know old CON
s sa-hs VINO have been following the sea
80, a nunored years or more. and they
icVsr saw half the marvels that on.
landsman will witness in trin fr orre
SANDY Hook tn Southampton.
COUPE OF hours ago my next-doo,
nneIsnnor called and talked for whjIa
ne ne nao been driving over the county
VIII team Of horses, and he kent caea.
On me crops as he went along. He was
tdtIIy loaded TO the hat-briu with usefTI
formation concerning the condition ri
S "nedt ana corn and other crops Hs
2lougnt samples Of corn and wheat tba,
ne pulled UP in the fields never Iste1.
su 70 more interesting or irstructiv;
discourse than his. and hated TO see him
go NOW. that mans travelling wa,
worth while. and wherever he goes n.
VAL md an attentive audience. Con.
uast MS story with the yarn that Won
are suffering to spring.
For Personal Protection.
You want to tell me how Won vis,ts,
the Quirinal and cavorted along the An
pan way. and carved your name ON ore
Oh the stones of the Colosseum. IF T L.
you tell your besotted tale you would y,
II IN a way that would Jar every merry,
In me, and lead to personal violence
That's the worst thing about Won faI
lows who have been abroad You can.
tell your experiences humbly and apoIo
getically, as becomes people who hav,
wasted a lot OF valuable time and money
You look as important as though you haf
discovered continent or invented ar
alrshlp, and all you have done is TO sef
a lot of shelf-worn cathedrals and second
nand volcanoes. which have been seen by
millions of rubbernecks before you
II a man ever returns from abroad
and then refuses to say word about il
neil be popular. and everybody will sigr
q petition asking him to run for. the
Presidency. Meanwhile I am going to
buy two brindle dogs and a shotgun for
my personal protection