The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-28

Private" John Allen. as a story teller,
is In a class by himself. He has said on
more than one occasion. If he had his life
over. he would be a monologist. ''Pri-
vate" John is never SO happy as when he
can get good one of on friend. He
had a friend who was captured by the
Union troops. When the Private was
asked why his friend was so fortunate
as TO be liberated, he said: "Why, he ate
too much. and the prison officials came
TO the conclusion that 1t was cheaper TO
let him go" Another friend was anxious
to get back TO the Union lines. MY
dear friend" said the Private" ALLOW
yourself TO get captured by the Yankees,
and they will carry you back"
A discerning member of the House has
introduced a bill making it an .onense
for the poor enumerator even TO ask a
person his political belief. or the belief OF
his neighbor. II he does. and is caught,
a fine Of $1.OO0 or Imprisonment for one
year stares him in the face.
-
Senator Hepburn thinks the bootblack
and porter should be exempt from the
operations OF the Sunday observance law.
Senator Bailey is of the opinion the bar
Der is even a more important parsonage
in the necessary preparation for a church
service.
Representative Charles Russell Davis,
Of Minnesota, says there are insurgents
and insurgents. but he has been insurg-
Ing for years and is without doubt the
only original insurgent He wants Il
understood that he insurges along pro-
gressive lines, and is not an obstruc-
ZIONIST
Room 30 in the Senate Office building
is now the center OF attraction. It ia
the room adjacent to the large room
which is used for the public hearings OF
the Ballinger- Pinchot investigation. Some
time before the meeting the crowd as
sembles. and among the number there
are a great many ladies'. Senator Mel
son sits at the head OF the long table
the Senatorial members OF the commit
tee arranged along the left. and tbs
House members on the right
Representative Ames. who has invented
an airship. has composed a fighty song
dedicated 10 the House insurgents, en-.
titled Come Fly with Ne In My Air.
ship"
Senator Johnston, who had the Dis.
trict Sunday observance bill in charge
was subjected to the Senatorial inquisi-
ton. but the Alabama banker stood tht
test well for a beginner. though the
numerous amendments and suggestions
got him a little mixed
Senator Cummlns refuses TO believe tht
statement that the District OF Columbia
is sadly in need OF a Sunday law. not.
withstanding that Senator GaIlinger, 'the
mayer OF Washington" says It Is.
When the dear folks come from away
back to visit the Capital OF the Natior
they open their eyes in establishment anC
Outlines with admiration when they wit
ness the fine surroundings OF their Sena
tors and Representatives In Congress
Their eyes fairly beam when they ct,
ushered into their Senator's rooms anC
are lOath 10 sit In the handsome chairs
After they see these things II is possibl,
10 make them believe almost anything
In the subway connecting the Capitol witt
the Office building there are a numbe
OF electric cars for the use OF the Sena
tors. and they ride 10 and from thei
Offices in luxury. A Capitol guide wa.
showing these playthings 10 a party from
the West Their WondeTment at the con
veniences Of the statesmen was apparent
but when the guide told them that eacl
Senator had a car and that their Sena
tor was. Of course. the owner Of one o
them. their pleasure and admiration wer
without bounds.
You can't lose the Vice President
sunny jim" When a Senator aHudes I,
the fact that a bin which is up for con
/ sideration is in charge Of another Sena
! tor he is forcibly reminded by the Vic
! President that no Senator has charge o
the bill, but that It is in charge Of tn
Senate
Senator Jeff Davis is always in his sea
/ and occasionally makes a few remark
or asks a question The older Senator
! are getting extremely nervous, they ar
| fearing an outbreak at any moment.
Only on His Job.
/ From the Detroit Free Press