davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29
Passes Cinderella Test.

William J. Frank. Of Baltimore. is eco
nomical practical and extremely philo-
sophical Senumentality is not one Of his
parts. When William J. Frank sees the
path OF duty stretching out before him.
he does not deviate from IL; when ro-
nance seeks 20 come into his life, he
promptly says TO it, Get thee behind
me; I will have none Of you"
This preliminary. information Is neces-
sary to explain the proper development
and the denouement as recorded in the
marriage license clerks Office in Balti-
more. William J. Frank had a wife who
pleased him. She was a very estimable
woman and a good housekeeper. She had
a complete wardrobe. including all the
necessary articles OF feminine apparel
and adornment When Mrs. William J.
Frank died two years ago. her clothes
and other personal belongings were care
fully packed away by the bereaved hus-
band. who saw the advantage Of having
complete wardrobe should he decide
on another matrimonial venture.
For two years William J. Frank
searched far and wide, hoping to find q
woman who wore the proper size shoe,
whose waist and bust measurements
would fit the clothes he had laid aside
and whose weight and stature would not
make her feel or look uncomfortable in
the gowns Of the fashions of two seasons
ago. Maid and matrOn came under the
observation Of William J. Frank. He
1 was almost in despair, when. three weeks
ago. he CHANGED TO be visiting at thC
home OF Mrs. Mary Smith While there
| a sister OF Mrs. Smith. Nora Kearney
came into the room. William ]. FranA
| Immediately sat up and took notice. She
was neither too stout nor too thin. toe
tall nor too short. With mathematical
! precision. William J. Frank decided tha
if her weight was exactly 13S pound!
she must be his affinity. Before the even
/ ing ended he proposed. conditional OF
/ the clothing at home fitting Miss Kear
ney. or the future Mrs. William J. Frank
! His entreaties fell on favorable ears, and
| accompanied by Mrs. Smith, the blush
| ing bride-to-be and the cheered-up VIII
liam ]. Frank went 70 his apartments
where the clothes proved perfect fit
The proposal was formally made. anC
the longed-for answer came. Mr.. and Mrs
William J. Frank are now receiving con
| gratulations.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29

would go TO any such extremity in n con-
troversy which, however unfortunate,
the defects Of any plan and requiring OF
its authors and advocates a satisfactory
and conclusive demonstration Of the merit
of their project. There has been consid-
cradle mystery concerning this particular
phase of the naval reorganization prof.
ect, and it is gratifying to know that
the Senate Naval Committee will take
steps TO ascertain why the department
has made such drastic revision Of the
fund and whether It should be restored TO
its former proportions by legislation.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29
Bees and Bars.

From the Saturday Evening Po7t.
Franklin Adams. who is managing edi-
tor OF the interesting magazine published
by the Bureau OF American Republics
has a story about honey IN his February
issue
The statistics in the article were Sc
cured from the Department Of Agricul-
ture. and the statement was made that
there are 10000 beekeepers in the United
States. or one TO about every l2G Of the
population.
The magazine is printed at the Gov
eminent Printing Office When the proofs
Of this article came back TO Mr.. Adams he
found proofreader in the big printery
had queried the statement that there are
7Oc,OO1 beekeepers in the United States
and had written on the margin OF the
proof slip: Don't you mean barkeepers?"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29
CENTER OF POPULATION.
Not Expected to Move Far as n Re
suit of the Present Canvas.

From the Philadelphia Press.
The center Of population Of the CONT
mental United States. which at the time
Of the first census was twenty-three miles
east Of Baltimore has been travelling
westward with each decade. In 1870 il was
located near Columbus. Ind. about forty
miles south Of indianapolis In 1Se1 il
was twenty-slx miles further east. and IN
the two previous decades Il kept rather
near 70 Cincinnati with each decade IL
has moved a little farther west. but has
continued 10 keep very close 20 the thirty
ninth parallel. the latitude approximately
OF Baltimore and Cincinnati
With the development and spread o,
population IN the West, the wonder IS
that the center Of population keeps so dis
proportiouately far TO the east Of the
center Of area. Il now stops at abou,
one-fourth Of the entire distance from
coast 70 coast The present census will
doubtless carry IL a little farther west
and perhaps a little 70 the south. because
Of the new population In Oklahoma Other
Western and Southwestern states have
made large additions 10 their population
but they have lost much by migration tc
Canada and lstterly 10 Mexico
I 1t is not likely, therefore. that the cen
ter Of population viii move out Of Indi-
ana. or. indeed, get very far from its last
/ stopping place While the West is grow
ing. the East IS not standing stu The
great cities particularly are growing az a
rapid rate. which shows no sign OF abat-
/ ing. or the twelve largest cities in the
/ United States. by the census OF 1900 eight
We're east Of the center OF population. The
| prodigious growth Of New York city alone
will almost balance the development and
/ settlement Of new area in the West
/ Therefore. while the West boons along
at a gait that promises 20 put everything
/ behind IL, the center Of population insists
on staying az each decade just a few
/ miles farther west Of the camping ground
ten years before. showing that while The
whole country IS growing the old East
increases in population almost as rapidly
| q Tho nav West
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29
A Man, a Girl, and n Curl.

On the rack it hung all day.
Near the ribbons bright and gay
and the ties.
But a. night among her trussos
When she wore her pretty dresses
In the Riise
OF a bud cf fashions choosing
II wns really quite amusing.
Such sad signs
The little curl would hear
Whispered In pretty ear
And the lies
To make a Iinglet treuble in surprise)
OF the crimson n her lips
And the crimson Of her cheeks.
That lay all day
In an alabastsr box
On the dresser. with the LOCKS
Not far away.
And near il. on the side.
Peroxide,
When the rinslet heard him whisper
That he never ooIld resist her,
All the beauty Of her bloom
And Of her charm.
Tho ringlet lost its Uip
And suddenly let slip
To his arm.
Where it fell. a golden wave.
And trying quick 10 save
II ron harm.
The maiden lost her head.
And bitter tears she sled
In her alarm.
The sudden heavy IN Jwer
Washed the color. like a flower,
From he checks.
And that's he reason why
Now he's very very shy
Wien he calls
Upon the pretty lssses.
And always wea-s his glasses
To the balls.
Celia MyroFE Robinson, in Smart Set
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29
ANY ONE CAN DO 1T.
How to Lay Up Treasures Where
Moth and Rust Corrupt.

From the New York World.
An old confidential clerk in a banking
house has just died, leaving an estate Of
between 100000 and 100000. all saved
out Of mis- wages and acquired by invest
ment. Far from being a difficult feat.
this is rather easy. Any bright boy who
faneies such a career can repeat 1t.
Suppose an office boy Of sixteen has in
two years saving by pinching self-denial
800. He can loan T. at legal interest on
good personal security or invest it 20
yield per cent In the former case, II
the yield is kept rehvested II will grow
TO 1920 by the time he is seventy-five. IN
the latter case 10 $500.
But the boy keeps on saving. His wages
are raised from time 20 time. and as his
second. third. and succeeding 500 come
more quickly. each in turn is set on its
way 10 grow into thousands At thirty
five he has a salary Of perhaps $500 a
year and saves $500 Of it or more. The
savings Of that single year. kept invested
at legal interest. will grow 10 $4,000 I'm
| forty years. But already he has many
, other dollars at work for him-or rather
i =
grows he saves and invests more and stu
more. Probably he will see frequent
| chances Of profitable usury. But he will
never take a risk He Is a faithful and
trustworthy though not a brilliant, en-
! pl0ye. He does not become dissipated or
| gluttonous. and so has no use for doctors
| His employers appreciate him and he
| coins their appreciation into more living
/ growing gold.
] or course, he never marries. He spends
/ nothing on enjoyment or self-culture OF
! travel In the end, he dies a lonely death
and from the famous will case that fol
lows the lawyers profit nightly
There are probably few boys I'm New
York to-day who will do this very thing
II Is in them 20 do II. But is II worth
/ while?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
EARLY CHAMPIONS,

The Hittites were a likely team
In days of long ago.
They always won
From Babylon
And beat out Jericho.
The Hittites were a smuggling team,
They never tried to bunt;
Preferred to clout.
To line 'em out.
And make the fielders hunt.
The Hitties were a batting team,
And managers aVow
They'd gladly sign
An entire nine
OF husky Hittites now.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29

From the Chicago Record Herald
Have you any OF the old masters IN
your gallery. Mrs. Frumpleigh?'
Not Yet, but Josiah has Just placed
an order with New York dealer for
$500 worth, which he has agreed 10
ship T. o. b. by the middle Of next
month"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29

II is hardly a matter Of surprise that
the Senate Republican insurgents"
should have declined the invitation 10
come over and play in the Democratic
backyard regularly Things are coming
the donkey's way, but IL Is 20 be hoped
the donkey does not suspect he really
sees the approach Of the millennium.
nevertheless.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29

II the colonel should be heard TO ex-
claim. Hello, Jeems,' 90 some one IN
the streets of London the populace must
not jump 10 the conclusion that he is
addressing Ambassador Bryce. Mr.. Bryce
VIII not be there
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29

The Prince de Sagan. so the story goes.
went out recently and purchased pres
ent for the princess with his own money.
No doubt the princess already suspects
that Helie is contemplating a large and
elegant touch pretty soon.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29

Mr.. Roosevelt was in his element
yesterday" says a Paris cable in Thurs
days New York Herald. OF course, And
the day before, and the day before that
and he will be tomorrow. That's the
colonel,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29

Curtis Jet, perhaps Kentucky's most IL
lustrious murderer. is petitloning the
governor for a pardon. Curtis might now
have an easy task before him had he
pulled off his last shootfest in Tennes-
see instead of in Kentucky.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29

Justice Lurton's appointment did not
suit Mr.. Bryan; Gov. Hughes appoint
ment does not suit Mr.. Bryan. 1t is bare
~ possible that Mr.. raft IS not exerting
himself particularly to suit Mr. Bryan.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29
what's That

From the Wichita Eagle.
Most people had forgotten that ChAuneey DcpeyF
was still in the Senate until he Announced that he
was going 10 resign.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29

When she entered the city so great and
so eager was the crowd. striving 70 touch
her horse. az least that her progress
through the streets was exceedingly slow.
They gazed at her as if they were behold
ing God.
Joan's first act was 10 proceed 70 pray
ers. and after offering up her supplication
for the preservation OF the city. she rode
about all the defenses The English be
gan their attack. and through the inspira-
ton Of The Maid they were all re-
pulsed. They became excited. they waiv-
cred. Finally the Imprisoned soldiers
made a break for liberty. and the Eng
lish. seeing the sea of people rushing
on. thought that the whole world was
got together. As Glasdau was about
to retreat from the redoubt into the
bastile. the bridge was shivered by a
the water below. and drowned before the
eyes Cf the Pucelle. whom he had so
coarsely abused. All" she exclaimed.
how pity thy soul"
There were 500 men In the bastile. and
they were all put 10 the sword. Not an
En6lishman remained 10 the south OF
N''' Inv anu VII 'ilS HcNI udIt ouIludS
! those who were on the north side aban-
doned their bastiles, their artillery. their
! prisoners. and their sick
The seige Of Orleans was raised The
Maid forbade pursuit. as the English
had retired of their own accord. The
effect produced by the deIiverance OF
Orleans was beyond calculation. All real
lied It 70 be the work OF a supernatural
! power.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29
HnRhes, Sncrfhcc.

From the Philadelphia North American.
But he Is a Young and not gich man. and
he has a family. He could make $1,000 a year
practicing law in New York. But he accepts a
position that PAYS S2oOO and az bcst may Be ~
creased 20 S75Oo. That is something Of a sacrifice
FOR public service
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29

the poor census enumerators after the
work is finished.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29
A HnstN Estimnte.

You report this citizen as having forty
dogs"
Yes sir"
Are you certain about the count?"
Not positively" answered the census
enumerator. I had TO take Il on the
run"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29

Mark Twain's "Huckleberry Finn was
once prescribed by Brooklyn library au-
thorities. Who knows but that right then
Marks successful literary career was set
in motion?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29
senator Roots Following.

From the Buffalo News.
II Senator Root has been picked Tor leader q the
senate let Va hope he viii and more followers there
than IN New York State
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29

Pretty soon. Of all the old guard, Mt
Lodge may be left alone, notes a Massa-
chusetts writer. a sort OF Lodge in
some vast wilderness" as IL were
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29
Nnf n YET.

From the St Paul Dispatch
Al least President Taft has not hocu held re-
spousbie fur the inability Of the Washington team
% play acceptable baseball
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29
nemncrntic Thanks.

From the kansas City Star.
Hearst and Bryan praise President Taft Indeed.
the whole Democratic party SEEMS 20 owe him
rousiug vote q thanks.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29
CHAT OF THE FORUM.
Ont of Courtesy.

From the Chicago News.
II AldriCh must D. going viii The boz please
bring his hat!
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29

Snow in Alabama after April t.. The
esteemed oldest inhabitant" will have
to keep a mighty straight face when he
trots out one 10 beat that.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29

The New York Sun fears New York
State may yet have 20 choose politically
between Mr.. Roosevelt and Mr.. Hearst
Right there will be where the Sun Will
take 70 the woods. too.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29

What do the Democrats think they see
in the election Of Havens?' inquiries the
Des Moines Tribune. A large bunch Of
rainbows, for one thing, it appears.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29
No EmheIIi.hment.-

Il notice one thing about these base
ball writer's
What's thata"
1t doesn't require any great variety OF
slang 70 describe a losing game.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29
Spring Vegetation.

There used to be administered con-
stable along this road who loved 70 lie
In ambush for automobiles. His red
.whiskers matched the foliage perfectly in
the fall"
well, keep a sharp lookout. Some of
these constables arc mean enough to dye
their whiskers green"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29
No Monopoly in immortality.


From the Topeka Capital.
We believe a good deal Of the editorial
fiagelIation to which the rich are sub
jected is, TO put 1t mildly. misplaced. We
don't believe the rich are more immoral
than the poor. The only difference is that
the immortality OF the rich gets into the
newspapers, while the immortality Of the
poor is not considered OF sufficient news
interest TO print unles it chances to find
its way into the courts. The worst COM
munity morally we have ever known has
a population of 2,0o0 people, or less. 1t is
community studded with churches and
devoted. apparently, to the uplift Of mo-
rality and the conservation Of virtue. but
Il is rotten at the core. And yet In this
community $4,000 is a very large fortune
and 81 200 a year a tremendous income
The community noted is only a type
There are thousands like II. immortality
is as rampant in Topeka. where there are
no idle rich. as II is In Kansas City
immortality is a human attribute-per-
haps It were better to say a human weak
ness. The possession Of money has moth
ing to do with ones moral sense, nor does
it affect in any way his observance Of the
homely virtues
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29

Mr. Hughes need harbor no further
doubt about his ideal fitness FOR the
place Mr.. Tim" Woodruff approves,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29

An unknown millionaire" begins a
New York contemporary. Great guns,
What a small potato a mere millionaire
may be In this country,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29
Ostrich Vs.. EnNornir.

Ostriches lay the largest eggs OF all
birds now eXtant, according 10 a writer
IN the Scientific American. but the
ostrich's egg would have appeared small
beside that Of the extinct Madagascar
bird the epyornis. which measured more
than thirty inches en- IT'S smallest cir
conference. The smallest birds eggs are
those OF the minute species Of humming
birds which are smaller than the eggs
Of certain kinds Of tropical beetles But
the cuckoo LAYS the relatively smallest
egg. That is 20 say. while the jackdaw
and the cuckoo are about equal in size,
the formers egg is five or six times
larger than tho latter's The fact that the
cuckoo is wont 20 deposit its eggs In the
nests Of birds which ara usually much
smaller than itself doubtless accounts
for this The relatively largest egg IS
laid by the kiwi. a strange. wingIess
New Zealand bird The egg IS no less
than five inches long, although the ex-
IRENE length Of the bird itself is only
twenty-seven inches.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29

Nobody Is quite so optimistic as an
optimistic Democrat" says the Detroit
Free Press. Nobody else has the right
10 be, perhaps.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29
Revenge.

From SimplicsSiulus
This IS now the sixth time that walt
for her in vain. II she is not here to-
morrow I'll go away and disappoint her.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29
Pnris Is ENcnrrd.

From the Atlanta Constitution.
II takes very little % make Paris 90 Wild but
Roosevelt is the bggo1 excuse It has had in many
= DAY.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29

An elephant heretofore considered quite
tame ran amuck in Danville. H.. the
other day. Right In Uncle Joe's" home
town.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29

It is very well understood throughout
Dixie, however. that a light touch Of
late fros; here and there helps along the
mint crop wonderfully.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29
Even at Last.

He wouldn't pay his board bill.
No matter how she harried him;
And so. TO even no the score.
His boarding mistress married him
-Llr7incotts MaEazinn
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29
IL MnN Hnnnen.

THE police were unable 10 cope with
the crowds az this recent fashionable
New York wedding
Well, why didn't the governor call out
the militia -,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29

All the big circuses are working West,
in anticipation Of the colonels arrival in
the East in June.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29

Just think, girls. His name is Lord Ho-
ratio Herbert Kitchener. and he is a
woman hater, and he has returned TO
England.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29

As we cavorted grumpily 10 press at
an early hour this morning, the upper
Pullman berth was stiu up.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29

Notwithstanding the fact that they
probably will do their level best. a lot Of
ambitious towns In this country doubt
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29

The French Academy has decided that
automobile is feminine Extraordi-
narily expensive, especially some Of them,
eh7
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29

y census Of the Republican party
would hardly show up as grandIy now
adays. however, as IL might have ten
years ago.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29
Mechanical Eavesdropper.

In police headquarters and IN different
public Offices in Manhattan there has
recently been installed little Instrument
that may play an important role IN the
official Investigations Of the future II
Is called the dictograph, and is a mechan-
zeal esvesdropper that will strike terror
10 the heart OF the corrupt politician or
other criminal when he once learns its
terrible significance and usefulness. Poll
ticians in search OF questionable favors
and wrongdoers who imagine they are
pouring their condolences into the ears
OF a single and trusted friend or official
had better remember that even the walls
have ears'-or, more practically still. look
carefully about the room for concealed
photograph before opening their hearts
The instrument is primarily used 10 IA
cilitate communication between distant
rooms. Il makes the faintest whisper IN
one room distinctly audible 20 a stenog-
rapher who may be located IN a nearby
apartment. The instrument maEnifes
sound waves 10 20 y octaves
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29
Both Punched.

a chauffeur wooed a suffragette.
Romantic was the tale.
II seems the happy couple met
In jail
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29
Not These Days.

Gimme odds?"
I'll bet you a dollar TO a doughnut."
That's no great odds with food as
high as II IS"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-04-29
Anything in a Name.

Say pa"
What IS it,"
can a rear admiral 90 10 the tront2"