River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1910-06-30

The signs shall come down in the timber,
And the patents shall tie up the coal.
The law will get fabby and timber,
AND the trusts will do well on the whole.
1t always turns out in that manner
Although we may blush to confess it,
And we do not regard it a banner
Achievement, exactly, to guessit.
July is tribute to Caesar. One
day, with some other insurgents, he
talked by the Pillar of Pompey on
things of political urgence. He was
just on the point of explaining the
key to some government riddle
when a party of regulars jumped
him and cut him in two in the mid
die.
There were Decius Brutus, the
speaker, and Cassius, boss of the
Senate, together with others insist
ent upon some political tenet. THE
party forever!" they shouted, and
what with that terrible slasher Ser
villius Casca great Caeser as well
had been run through hasher.
At any rate, Antony found him
cut up into fodder for fishes, and
begged this request of the Romans,
who granted the least of his wishes.
And thus it has happened and shall
be so long as the Tiber runs by the
Pillar of Pompey that Caeser shall
live in the name of July.
The Fourth shall return to discover
Us waiting in battle array,
And what with one thing and another
Regretting we won, anyway.
The cannon shall BOOM and the scramble
For things on the medicine shelves
Shall warn inexperienced countries
Aspiring to freedom themselves.
The dynamite cap and the rocket
shall remind us of tyranny thwarted,
and the valiant forefather shall turn
in his coffin to see what he started.
The eagle shall mount on his pin
ions and circle the North and the
South, and the rapidfre orator
stand on the platform and shoot off
his mouth.
This latter, however, is harmless
in strict pathological way, but re-
mains Notwithstanding an evil we
must in due season allay. Alas,
how deficient is nature that might
lay this pest on the shelf with ruling
that shooting his mouth off he gave
the lockjaw to himself!
This tetanus, we are q ute certain,
has good and defensible uses, and
all of it's manifestations thus far
have been only abuses. The idea,
as we regard it, is not that it should
be the cause of any more serious
matter than locking the orators
jaws.
You know that we never hear of
it except on the Fourth of July, and
wherever some innocent gets it we
forever are wondering why. Well,
this is the fact of the matter, and by
Jove, we are willing to bet it turns
out in the long run that no one but
a lot of old wind-jammefs get it.
| However, be that as IL may be,
And get whom the tetanus will,
| The jubilant youth OF the nation
| Will resume with it's shooting to kill,
The safe ard the sane celebration
| Will suit us who are not so skittish,
But the youngsters have got to do something
To show what we did to the British
There never was anything safe in
the way the forefathers attacked
them, and as for the saner attain
ments, the old fellows seem to have
lacked them. They simply cast fear
to the bowwows and waded into the
ARRAY, and boy does not think
himself worthy if he can't shoot
himself, anyway.
At any rate, Jeffries and Johnson
will growl like couple of poodles
and observe independence with beat
ing the hair off their mutual noodles.
THEY'LL alternate making the other
leviathan howl for his mother, and
if the country at random is lucky
they'll manage to kill one another.
It's only a plan to make money,
deserving the strictest of structures,
| for what they will have is a race