The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1910-05-27

"HOehel hlSSlHS Is u science or an
art Is problem which never trou-
Dles Its votaries unless they be of an
lnquiring mind, and even then they
are hard put to 1t to give clear def
milton OF what kiss is. They have
attempted to do SO, but their efforts
cannot truly be said to be as clear as
the MONDAY. For instance, an Amer
lean medical man described a kiss as
The anatomical juxtaposition of two
orDlcularis muscles in a state of con-
traction, while the late Professor
Huxley concurred in the dictum. A
more popular definition is Nothing
divided between two," which is used
as the seal of love-" although, in
TACT, 1t seems to be an impossbility
to set down in words what kiss is
an impossibility which Josh Billings
recognized when he remarked that
the more a man tries to analyze
KISS the more he can't; the best way
to define kiss is to take one" And
many-nay, the majority Of people
get over the difficulty by adopting the
suggestion of the American humorist.
No doubt Dominic Brown, who
during his seven years courtship of
Janet had not given her single kiss,
had often endeavored to defiAe the
act OF OSCILLATION, and, finding himself
nonplussed in the effort, at length de-
termined to solve the enigma by TAX
ing one. So it came about that one
evening, as they sat together, Mr..
Brown screwed up his courage ard
said: 1--WE have been acquainted now
for seven years, and I've ne'er gctte1
kiss yet. Dye Think night TAX
wan?" Just as you like, oily be be-
coming wi it, Surely, Janet, We'll
ask blessing. For what we are
about to receive, Lord make us truly
thankful" After the kiss was taken
the divine ioyfully exclaim ed: "Ch,
Janet, it is guild. Well return
thanks" Six months later the we'd
ding bells were ringing. But other
lovers are not so negligent as the
dominic was in this matter, as wit
ness the excuse offered by defendant
in breach of promise case Il
kissed the plaintiff almost continu-
ally every evening 1 called upon her."
said he. "Then you confess it," in
quired the examining counsel Eyes,
l do, but l had to do it." Had to GO
it! What do you mean?" "Why,
that was the only way I could keep
her from singing!"
And as kissing seems to tie nat
ural attribute between the sexes, it is
not surprising to find many other
good stories concerning it, Not the
least interesting is the one to which
tradition attributes the introduction
of the custom to England. This re-
cords, according to the chronicle of
Winsenius, how Vortigern, the British
monarch, gave a grand banquet to
his Scandinavian allies. An ong the
guests was the Princess Rowena,
beautiful daughter Of King Hengist
of Friesland, who, toward the close of
the proceedings, saluted the host, af-
ter the manner of her people, with a
kiss. Even in those days the people
of our tight little island" were as
keen as they are now in taking to
their hearts any new idea that seems
of good report, and, therefore, it is
not astonishing that the new form of
salute at once caught on" Not only
did it extend to intimate friends, but
it became the duty of male guests to
kiss all the ladies of the household
a custom which is said to have been
in vogue even as late as the Georgian
period.
v One wonders how such a custom
would stand the wear and tear of our
own times, when the ceremonial
shake of the hand is considered suffi-
cient salutation. But other tires