davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1910-04-12
HUMOR OF THE HOUR
She Was a Jewel.

.The new maid is a perfect treas
ure.r said Mrs Gaddington, with undis-
guised enthusiasm. "She goes right
ahead and does things without wait
ing to be told. It's such a relief to
have a girl with intelIigence-one who
can be depended on to do her work,
no matter whether am here to direct
her or not What do you suppose she
did today?"
"Took all the clothes out of the clos
cts and aired them, I'll bet,' replied
Mr. Gaddington. becoming suddenly
optimistic.
mo; she will probably get around to
that tomorrow or next day Without
waiting to receive even a hint that
your den needed cleaning, she went in
there and gave it thorough going
over. You'll not recognize the place
when you look into it. She must.have
burned nearly a wagon load of papers
and pamphlets and magazines that
you've had piled around in the corners,
and your books have all been Why,
William, what's the matters?
Nothing. nothingT' replied William
Gaddington, making supreme effort
to control his feelings. where is the
Observation-Disclosures is she nowY
what in the world has happened?
Have things gone wrong at the Office
today?"
mo, no! merely want to know
where this paragon you have been
speaking of is now.'
You'd never guess. Really, she's
wonder. | slipped down into the eel
lar few minutes ago to see what she
was up to. and what do you think ?
She's down there humming away to
herself as happy as you please and
brushing the dust from the wine bot
ties. "-Chicago Record Herald.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1910-04-12
NAT GOODWIN
And HIS Wives
Only Kind Words For Them IN
His Matrimonial Memoirs.
lie BELIEVES IN MARRIAGE.

Have Always Been Long In the
Market on Homes and Wives" Says
the Actor--Edna Goodrich, Present
Mrs. Goodwin, to Write Final Chapter.
Nat G. Goodwin, the actor, said the
other day that he had been prompted
to write his "Matrimony Memoirs" by
a similar book written by Samuel
Adams, who lived in the time of Gar
rick, Goldsmith and DR.. Johnson. He
denies, however, that his book is to
be devoted strictly to his various
wives. He safd
"In this book of mine will not pre-
sent an autobiography. nor will it be
merely a summing of memoirs. 1t will
be simply book of retrospective
thoughts given to the many people,
prominent and otherwise, with whom
/ have come in contact during my
checkered career. IN it / will give
my impressions as | remember them"
His present wife, known on the
stage as Edna Goodrich, is to write
the final chapter of the book on "Why
Edna Goodrich Married Me-"
One chapter concerns Maxine FL
lott, his third wife. In discussing the
actress he said: Rather than saying
anything unkind of her or any one
else in my book, speak in terms of
fullest appreciation of their virtues"
"cIeverest Woman | Ever Met"
Mr. Goodwin was very reluctant
about revealing the full text of some
of his writings. One paragraph in
the chapter he headed Maxine Ell
lott" reads as follows:
Hers was the ambition of Cleo
patra She used me as ladder to
reach her goal and found her crown
ing glory in the binding glare of
myriad Of incandescent lights that
spelled her name over the portals of a
New York theater She was the clev-
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1910-04-12
Nature of Life.

The question of life is as great
mystery as ever. Herbert Spencer's
definition that life is ''the continuous
adjustment Of internal relations with
external relations and the other theo-
~ that fire is form Of electrical ac-
ton as well as all the other theories
combined quite fail to show how nom
living matter becomes living matter
or what II really means to be alive.
We know no more on the subject than
they did five minutes after men he
gan to think upon it thousands of
years ago New York American.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1910-04-12
'rhe Quicker WAY.

$50 she sued him for breach of
promise?'
Eyes" answered Miss Cayenne. ~T'm
afraid the get-rich-qhick spirit is be-
coming very general. People do.'t
seem wiling to wait for alimony."-
Washington Star.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1910-04-12

'I'm afraid Pm catching a cold"
said Kloseman, trying to get some med
ical advice free. every once in
awhile l feel an itching in my nose,
and then l sneeze. What would you
do in case like that, doctorT'
We'll" replied DR.. Sharpe, Il guess
I'd sneeze too. Catholic Standard and
Times.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1910-04-12
White Slaves.

Mrs. Millyun-- Isn't it awful, dear?
1 see by the papers that in some cities
girls are quoted just like mere cattle
Mrs Munney-Isn't it?
Mrs Millyun But, to talk of more
agreeable subjects, did | tel you that
the duke insists on d million more be-
fore he viii marry our Gertrude?-
Puck.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1910-04-12
The Great Wide World.

An old dweller in the hills of Ar
kansas who had lived all his life in
one township recently took trip to
Little Rock, forty miles away, and was
full of his subject on his return.
by jing," said he in voicing his
impressions, 'if this hyar worlds as
big crossways as hit is FIN hyar to
Little Rock hits shore whopperw-
Success Magazine.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1910-04-12

The little daughter of the hostess
looked long and inquiringly at the
guest who she had been told was
very learned man and a professor.
During lull in the conversation she
spoke up, what do you do in college.
please. sir''
II am professor, my dear" was the
reply. Il impart my knowledge to the
students
Then If you keep on that way" she
said soberly, pretty soon you won't
know anything yourself. will your
Ladies' Home Journal.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1910-04-12
ManteIs-Doors-smaII Rooms.

May be quickly painted by any one with
small can Of our Domestic Paints in all
colors put up in open mouth cans, will make
door. or mantel or any small interior
work look as bright as when first painted
Get it from Phillips & Day, Morristown;
P. G. Henry Co. Basking Ridge; W. r.
Wilson. Whippany; ]. R. Meade & Son.
Hanover.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1910-04-12
journalism In China.

The Mandarin-Who wrote this te-
dious article on the great wall?
The Trembling City Editor-Too
Whoops, new reporter. your inef-
liability.
The Mandarin-Toss him in the cal
dron of bubbling oil. Things will be
boiled down on this paper or I'll con-
fiscate the sheet!-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1910-04-12
The Natural Process.

''How did they manage<to get all
those facts about the milk trust?"
"In the natural way, l suppose"
"How was that?"
Pumped the witnesses" Baltimore
American.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1910-04-12
Wasn't Much on It.

Minnick-That's Bennick's wife in
the box yonder. All he earns goes on
her back, they say.
Sinnick-Then he certainly needs a
raise in salary!-Browning's Magazine.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1910-04-12
Back to Bed.

HezEthel, what can it mean? Last
night dreamed that l proposed to
you.
Shell should say you are more SEN
sible asleep than awake.--Spokane
Spokesman-R Review.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1910-04-12

crest woman / ever met. Her dignity
was that of Joan of Arc, her de-
meanor Nero-like in its assertive quail
tiles and yet with channels Of emotion
that manifested womanhood in the
truest sense of the word.'
He has written Interestingly of the
charms Of Eliza Weathersbee, who be
came his first wife in 1871
SHE was one Of the most beautiful
women 1 ever knew" is one passage.
and one Of the most self sacrificing
wives thai ever blessed a man with
her devotion and love. Now she IS at
Woodlawn, and the daisies grow over
her grave"
His Philosophy Of Life.
Not much space is given by Mr.
Goodwin to the enumeration of the
peculiar characteristics of his second
wife, Nellie Baker Pease. divorced
wife Of a Buffalo physician, whom be
married ia 1858, who divorced him in
1891 ana who. he says. married him
to get out of society He writes.
Poor thing! She abandoned tae
glitter and glare Of the world of fash
ion to seek refuge in the bosom of Be
hemia. She extracted herself from
the vortex of society to get a glimpse
of life. of real life The pet of draw
ing rooms, she became the wife of a
comedian. She sought the atmosphere
of Henri Murger, but found it not"
When e0mplimented upon his pretty
home on the seashore and upon the
ideal life resulting therefrom, Mr.,
Goodwin said: 81 have always been
long in the market on homes and
wives. believe no home is complete
without a wife, provided she is the
kind that will enjoy the company of
intelligent, honest and clever people.
Some men lease their mates for a Ger
tain time and pirate upon their respect
ability, but / could not fancy home
with mate whose presence there
would preclude the visits of my moth.
er. think this is the philosophy OF
life. Nothing can be destroyed until
it is built. The true philosophy Of life
is to achieve something and then for
get it."
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1910-04-12
With the Eye of Faith.

"Dr. Fourthly, don't you believe the
time is coming when the swords shall
be beaten into plowshares and the
spears into pruning hooks and men
shall learn war no more?"
Indeed do, Brother Millsap."
"But when?
about the time when that other
prophecy is fulfilled-'and then shall
the end come. "-Chicago Tribune.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1910-04-12

Here's a rule Of psychology: No
matter whether you feel cheerful or
not, try to seem so, even If it's put on"
That's right l always laugh when
go to comic opera. life
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1910-04-12
Eishinn.

Yeast-How was the fishing?
Crimsonbeak-Cor king!
do much of it?'
"Say, l never put SO many worms
out of business in my whole life"-
Yonkers Statesman.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1910-04-12
still They Doubted Johnnie.

Jimmy Johnnie is not truthful
Jamie-Why?
Jimmy-He told me his grandfather
lost leg or arm in every battle he
fought, an l asked him how many
battles he was in, an he said, "More'n
forty.'-New York Journal.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1910-04-12
WASHINGTON letter
BY Carl scHoFIzLD, special corre-

By CARL scFfOFFELD, Special corre-
sponGent.
The plan advocated by senator
Scott, the chairman Of the senate COM
mittee on public buildings and
grounds, Of a bond issue by the gov
eminent to provide the necessary
buildings in this city for the aceommo-
dation of the executive departments is
a move in much needed direction
No one questions that the govern
ment's housing accommodations were
long since outgrown. In fact it may
be said with entire accuracy that at no
period in the history of the govern
ment has the supply of buildings been
equal to the demand.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1910-04-12
PEARY'S POLAR
bear CHASE.
Exciting Incident Of His Jour-
nsy 10 The North Pole.
HOT PURSUIT IN SLEDGES.

Explorer Tells How Men and Dogs
Were Electrified by a Sharp Sighted
EslSimo's Cry of "Nanooksoah!" Ca
Polar Bear)-odd Feature of Hunt.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1910-02-03

Thursday was grounding day.
That is to say, it was the day set
for the festive wood-chuck to hike
from his winter home and look for
shadow. From appearances as
we go to press Bro. Grounding
will look in vain for the fog is so
thick that it has to be shoveled off
the sidewalks and it is very
dangerous to go abroad without a
lantern. OF course this means
that he will not be scared back into
his hole and in order to keep him
from freezing spring will come
directly.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1910-02-03
ReQister's Notices.

Notice is hereby given that the follow
ing Accounts Of Executors, Adminstra.
tors, etc. have been filed in my Office:
First and final accout OF Oscar H.
Heber and Oliver w. Heiber, Executors
of the last will and testament Of Frank
D. Heiber, late Of Cherry Township, De-
ceased.
First and Final Account Of Ernest f.
Norris, Administrator of the Estate OF
Thomas Morris, late OF LaPorte Town
ship, Deceased.
Second and Partial Account OF w. W.
jackson and Blanche w. Sturdevant,
Executors of the last will and testament
of Bernice w. Jackson, late of Dushore
Borough; Deceased.
And the same will be presented to the
Orphans Court of Sullivan County, to be
held at Laporte, Pennsylvania, on the
thirteenth day of February A. d. 1911, a
o'clock p. M, tor confirmation and al
lowance. and they shall then be confirmed
Nj. ST.; and unless Exceptions are flee
within ten days thereafter, confirmation
absolute will be entered thereon.
ALBERT F. IlEESs, Register OF Wills
Registers Office, Laporte, Pa.
January IA, 1911.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1910-02-03
CHERIFF'S SALE.
~ By virtue of a writ of Fieri Fa-

CHERIFF'S SALE.
- BY virtue of a writ of Fieri Fa-
cias issued out of the Court of Com
mon Pleas of Sullivan County, Penn
sylvania, and to me directed and de-
livered, there will be exposed at
public sale at the Court House in the
Borough of Laporte, Sullivan County,
Pennsylvania, on Saturday, Febru-
ary 4, 1911, at 10 clock a. M, the
following described property. to witt
All that certain lot. piece or parcel of
land situate in the Township of David
son, County of Sullivan and State OF
Pennsylvania, bounded and described as
follows:
Beginning at point in the public
highway leading from Elk Lick School
House to the Keeler settlement, nine (9)
rods westward from the western line OF
land OF w. NJ. Stephens; thence South
ward on line parallel with said line two
hundred and ninety four (294) rods more
or less to corner in the Northern line
OF land formerly of E. I. Brundage; thence
Westward along said lands sixty (6O)
rods more or less to the Eastern line OF
lands OF J. j. Sick; thence Northward
along said lands two hundred and ninety
tour (294) rods to said highway; thence
Eastward along said highway sixty (6O
rods more or less to the place of begin
ming. Subject, however, TO certain tim
Der contract entered into between the
said Sibyl Hallstead and w. B. Snider
and A. L. Kilmer, dated August IA, 1908,
and recorded in Sullivan County Deed
Book No. "a, at page 1894, etc. The said
Snider and Kilmer retaining ali the rights
given to them under said contract accord.
ing TO the terms thereof.
About 80 acres improved and under
a good state Of cultivation; balance tim
bered and having erected thereon a two
story frame dwelling house. frame barn
and out.buildings. Well watered and
having good orchard of fruit trees there
on and situate along the public road lead.
ing from Nordmont to Central, Pa, and
being desirable property.
Seized, taken into execution and
to be sold as the property of Mrs.
Sibyl Hallstead at the suit of j. j.
Sick.
JUDSON BROWN, Sheriff
Sheriff's Office, LaPorte, Pa.
January 8, 1911.
Mullen, Attorney.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1910-02-03
Prothonotary's 8 Notice.

Notice Is hereby given that the Second
and Partial Account Of w. w. Jackson
and Blanche w. Sturdevant, Trustees tor
the Devices Of George d. Jackson, late
of Dush hore Borough. Deceased, has been
filed in my office.
And the same will be presented to the
Court OF Common Pleas Of Sullivan
County. to be held at LaPorte, Penna.,
on the thirteenth day OF February, A. D..
1911, at 3 o'clock, P. NJ, for confirmation
and allowance, and il shall then be con-
firmed NJ. ST.; and confirmation absolute
ten days thereafter shall be entered by the
Prothonotary Of course, unless exceptions
in writing are previously fled, as provided
by Rule Of the Court of Common Pleas
of Sullivan County.
ALBERT F. HESS, Pro.honotary.
Prothonotary's Office, LaPorte, Pay
January IA, 1911.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1910-02-03
GENERAL MARKETS

PHILADELPHIA = FLOUR firm:
winter clear, $3.65@3.90; city mills.
fancy, $550Q6.
RYE FLOUR firm, at $4Q415 per
BARREL
WHEAT quiet; No. 2 red. new, 80
@93&c.
CORN quiet; No. 2 yellow, 51A
@52c.
OATS steady; No. white, $50
38kc.; lower grades, 37c.
POULTRY: Live firm hens, 1910
&c.,. old roosters, .1Oh@11c. Dressed
fowls, 16hc.; old roosters, 12c.
BUTTER steady; extra creamery,
29c. per lb.
EGGS steady selected, rs a 2Sc.;
nearby, 24c.; western, 24c.
POTATOES firm; 65Q68c. bushel.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1910-02-03
SONESTOWN.

The members of I. o. o. F.
Camp gave a. banquet to their fami-
lies at Hotel Basley, Friday even
ing. In spite of bad weather about
80 were present.
Fred Schanbacher of Ricketts,
was a caller here last week.
Opal and Maize Watson were
Williamsport visitors last week.
Bennie Lawrenson of North
Mountain was caller here Thurs
day.
Bertha Hazen and Edith Basley
spent Sunday with friends at Nord-
mont.
Mabel Fulmer and Edna Speary
spent Sunday with friends at Mount
Vernon.
Freas Hess spent Sunday with his
parents at Nordmont.
Pearl Houseknecht gave party
to a number of her friends Tuesday
evening. Those present were:
Jennie Hazen, Fay Sheets, Edna
Lockwood, Mildred Buck, Leila
Buck, Beatrice Williamson, Lida
Simmons, Eureta Boatman, Fred
erica Myers, Anna Smith, Guy,
Blanch and Pearl Houseknecht,
Mrs. A. Starr, Messrs. Chas. Hertz,
Dunning Lockwood, Luther Bas-
ley, Rush Armes, Howard Bay,
Francis Jaquish, Collins Hazen,
Walter Hazen, Foster Meyers, EN-
mons, Harold and Larue House
knecht, A. Starr, Mr.. and Mrs. T.
r. Houseknecht.
Mrs. Grace Magargle visited rela-
tives here last week.
Annie Smith Of Muncy is visit
ing Pearl Houseknecht.
Harry Freas moved his house.
hold goods to Altoona, Mrs. Freas
left Saturday, accompanied by Miss
Mamie Freas who will remain witt
+hem during the winter.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1910-02-03
New Tariff Pact With Canada.

The administrations reciprocity
agreement with Canada was submit
ted to congress, with a special mes
sage from President Taft urging its
prompt enactment into law.
The agreement was presented con-
currently to the Dominion parliament
in Ottawa and within few days bills
will be introduced in the legislative
body of each government designed to
make the terms of the agreement. The
concurrent legislation obviates the ne
cessity of any negotiations on the
subject between the two governments.
Generally speaking, the agreement
opens the markets of the United
States to Canada's leading agricul-
tural products, notably wheat and 9TH
er grain and also to her dairy pro-
ducts, fish, eggs and poultry, sheep.
cattle and other live animals. Her
rough lumber also is admitted duty
free to the United States, as is her
print paper and wood pulp and sew
eral other raw materials.
In return for these concessions Can
ada takes down the bars altogether
on cottonseed oil and American fruits
and some other products and grants
reduced duties on agricultural imple-
ments and other manufactured ar
ticles.
On the basis of results expressed
in dollars and cents, Canada seems to
have a little better Of the argument
in the agreement, although President
Taft points out in his message that
the benefits to be derived by the Unit
ed States cannot be computed in this
way at the present. The total value
of articles now dutiable which the
, United States proposes to make free
under the agreement Is $39,S11,0 900, or
: 76.4 per cent of the total dutiable i'm
portations of Canada into the United
States in the fiscal year 1911. The
total value of articles now dutiable
which Canada pronoses to make free
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1910-02-03

Mrs. G.. S. Eddy gave party
on Monday evening in honor of
her son Rex. A very pleasant
evening was spent by all. Those
present were: Misses Helen Mac
Dermott, Tresken and Anna Busch
hansen, Esther Vough, Fay and
Iva Hess, Edith and Lawrence
Gumble, Olive Peters, Nellie and
Harry Hunter, Ida Hartung, Hen
ry Kraus, Samuel Kennedy, Oliv-
er Rose, Grant Carpenter, Orr and
Nelson Lawrenson, Prof. Bender,
Mr.. and Mrs. T. w. Allen and
Mrs. J. L. Smith.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1910-02-03

Our local news columns may be
little shy of their usual amount
of newsy bits this week, but with
old L. A. Grippe again hanging
around these parts it is well nigh
impossible to keep the wheels of
the plant moving. There is just
this much about it; nobody dares
to kick unless he has had an attack
for it seems to be making the
rounds pretty thoroughly, giving
each one crack as it goes along,
and it is up to any one who has
missed it so far to be careful.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1910-02-03

Are you troubled from eye strain?
Do your glasses cause discomfort?
Does the bright sun make you
blink and squint? Are you
troubled with occasional headaches?
Call at Hotel Bernard within the
next ten days and let me examine
your eyes free. I have the
knowledge and the instruments for
the proper fitting of glasses. DIR. J
R. Williams, Hotel Bernard,
Laporte, Pa.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1910-02-03

Is, on the other hand, only $685.
900, which is 16.5 per cent Of all the
duia5le imports into Canada from the
United States in the same year. The
Total amount of duties to be RENTED
uy the United States under the agree
mept is s4.S50,O0O, as compared with
f2.56e, 900 with Canada.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1910-02-03
Public Sale.

On Thursday, Feb. 8, 1911, at
her residence in Forksville Bor-
ough, Mrs. Mary Whitley Smell
will expose to public sale personal
property consisting of live stock,
hay, farm machinery, wagons, cut
ters, garden tools, ETC., Usual
terms.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1910-02-03

Several thousand years ago. gentleman
named Esop told little story that has dis
tinct application right here:
GA fox was once caught in a trap by his
tail, and, in order to get away, was forced to
leave it behind. Knowing that without tail
he would bea laughingstock for all his fellows,
he resolved to try to induce them to part with
theirs. So at the next assembly of foxes, he
made speech on the unproftableness of tails
in general, and the inconvenience of fox's
tail in particular, adding that he had never felt
so easy as he had since he had given up his
own. When he sat down, SLY old fellow rose,
and waving his long brush with a graceful air,
said with sneer, that if, like the last speaker,
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1910-02-03
PORTUGAL to Pension Manuel.

The Diario de Noticeas, OF Lisbon.
announces that the Portuguese gov.
ernment has decided to pay $4,000
as a monthly pension to the deposed
King Manuel. A check for the months
of October, November and December
already has been sent to him.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1910-02-03
Aeronlsne Rises From Water.

The aeroplane has added another
conquest to it's long list Of achieve.
ments on San Diego bay, CAL. when
an aeroplane driven by Glenn Cur
tiss arose from the surface of the bay,
flew two miles, returned to the start.
ing place and alighted on the water
as lightly as gull.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1910-02-03

The work of auditing the ac-
counts of the County Treasurer
and Commissioners by auditors
Wilcox, McCarty and Mason was
completed on Wednesday. The
audit will be published in a few
weeks.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1910-02-03

Minard Peterman of NordmoLt,
a candidate for County Commission
er on the Democratic ticket, trans
acted business in the county seat
Tuesday.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1910-02-03

Mrs. Howard Eberlin of Eagles
Mere, was calling on friends in
this place Wednesday.