Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1910-12-29
CTO BE C~ONTINUED)
TIL PIG Is MIGIrTIER THAN THE
PENS

PEN.
With the above as a topic, Howard
raun, of the Manchester Press. deliv-
arcd an address before the Upper Iowa
Editorial association recently which en-
iitles him to a place among the rest OF
The humorists whose pictures are to
idorn the walls of the Hall Of Fame.
Comparing the farmer with the news
paper man Mr.. Raun said
Il am here to say that the man who
owns 80 acres of Iowa land and who
has brains enough to till it, makes the
lot of country newspaper men look like
the last sad remnants of a Dutch lunch.
The farmer has the best Of 1t all round.
He Is as Independent MS tho American
Express company. He doesn't have to
write a soulful obituary over the remains
Of some ~peak-headed bloke who caved
his wife's ribs in with a grub stake and
kept on display an exhibit OF cut plug
profanity that would make the efforts
Of a mboa mate sound like a meet
ing of the Epworth League. lie doesn't
have to go into raptures over the beauty
Of an open-faced bride with a cast of
countenance that would blow out the
gas, and he can say what he dunn pleases
hb'AA IL - 'pAbiCSE' pAii
thing no newspaper ever dared to do I'M
less he had just lost the postofilce. Thu
farmer isn't required to lie until his
back teeth fall out, about the sterling
manhood Of a groom with ears like a
raulihower plant. and the brain power
If a shoat. He doesn't have TO run a
piano contest for the most beautiful
young lady in the community, make
1va-x-b~J- H@~n oAn,, thn rytrnAr -
then print a seventy-ive cent half tone
Of the beauty that looks like a tintype OF
grandma at the age of l8. There Is MOTH
Ing in the farmers curriculum that obli-
Ees him to paint the local soprano as a
heaven-sent songster' when in fact, she
has n voice that would make a guinea
hen weep. lie isn't called upon to paint
the virtues OF a prominent citizen who
earned his money by collecting notes with
q draw shave and who would have an
attack Of heart failure If suddenly sep
hrated from two bits of real money.
me FARMER can stand on the street
corner and roar about smallpox In town
unlll MS Whlskers curl up IKE a lean
man with the wind colo. and II the
newspaper mar runs a threeline item
TO the same effect his advertisers will
land on nm and make him resemble a
crushed fruit salad. II tho printer opens
his head about the presence of slot ma
shines, penny ante and holes-in-the wall
every candidate he supports at the pri-
mary election will have about as much
show of nomination as a one-legged man
In "A hurdle race. The farmer can sit on
his front porch and lamhast the board OF
supervisors from supper TO breakfast.
and If tho newspaper man Jars a board
,f the fence in that direction his appeal
FOR tho county printing will be about as
effective as a live broil with tobasco
sauce
The farmer can express his opinion OF
the new Methodist preacher in a firm and
loud voice, on the four corners and IL
The printer ventures to express the view
that the preacher ought to be chasing
q currycomb over a milk COW instead of
filling "A large room with thin ozone and
mi~sinformation, he will lose subscribers
80 fast that he won't have the circulation
of u cold-storage egg. The farmer does
Mt have to impress a chaste kiss on the
moist nose of his foreman in order 10
keep him from getting drunk on press
day, neither does he have to get some
body 10 go on MS note "hen the deVii
rarelessly feeds a pair of pipe tongs
through the cylinder press or the rats
chew the lining off a new set OF rollers
There Is no law which compels MIN to
MI 1our columns or space with a clog
geo ~thinH-tahk ana a sucktui or praih'
rood
IT the eoitor taxes Two days on II
hshlng IN succession ms patrons cal
MN a ioa'er ana 'Ake the'r Jop "orN
70 the other Once. u ne WORKS "n'i
ne is bowed over IKE Il iat man VIII
cramps people say ne Is 700 sunny t'