davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1910-03-02
Natures Protest Against Selfishness

All along our Eastern seaboard lie
abandoned farms. Some of these farms.
many Of them, indeed, were once as well
cultivated ard productive as any in the
land. At so an acre they would have
been called a gift. Now no purchasers
are in sight at IS. What is the explana-
ton OF the tragedy. for tragedy it is.
which lies behind this swathe OF desc
lated farm land, when men say the more
acres a man owns, the poorer he is. and
where the pine and the broomsedge,
hourishing in undisturbed possession, bear
silent testimony TO the grim truthfulness
of the saying?
II is natures own protest against self
ishness. For years man has been get
ting from his land all he could and Civ
ing back nothing. Men who would not
be so foolish as to suppose that their
horses could work or their COWS give
milk without food have thought that
their land could go on yielding without
being fed. Now they know better. But
for many the knowledge has come too
late. Ruined farms means ruined men.
Farmers are not the only people guilty
of such conduct Every selfish man is
making the same mistake. He is starv-
ing his farm. Some day It will starve
him. It must do so. Natures laws must
be obeyed.
Give and it shall be given. Don't fol-
low David Harum's advice, to do to the
other man what he would do 10 you, and
to do it first. Love and you will be
loved. Forgive and you will be forgiven.
The whole world is but one farm We
are all farmers here. Rob your farm
and It will make you poor. Bless it. and
IL VIII yield you a thousand blessings.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-02
WHAT ] BELIEVE.

In this varied, Wild sssormsnt-umDty-seVen kinds
Of creeds-
One is bound to reconsider what one thinks and
what one reads;
But I've come to the conclusion that no one Is
going 10 grieye
Over what chance TO fancy or about what be-
leye
I may think the stars are tnfon ard the moon
made out Of cheese;
That its WrUng to smile Sunday. TO eat thrse
meals OF neeZe;
] may think that it's ms t.rty to give much and
naught receive
But my neighbor win not vorTy over what may
believe
may relegate divorces to the realm Of evil wzys,
Shun the wine cup and the highhall and be ada
mant toward plays.
may have my fixed opinions and my little breast
NAY heaye
But nobody cares farthing what do on do not
believe.
NAY have lot Of wisdom-be prOgrss4ive-up to
See hundred Yeas before ms-rasyhap the milleu.
NAL gate;
/ nay know that certain methods uosald mans
coming doom rerTieTe.
But there's 70 enc going to listen to the things
that believe
So I've learned that il is wiser no great sympathy
to lose.
But let all secure salvation through the lines they
seem to choose;
And il to some precious notion. wise q foolish I
still eleaYe,
It WI not make any differences to the world xhst
believe.
-Lurana ". sheldon. in Eev YORK TINES
The Washington herald., 1910-03-02
Roosevelt Is Homesick.

From Gomdokoro comes the report that
Col Roosevelt is looking with longing
eyes across the sands OF Africa and the
wide expanse of ocean, his thoughts
turning TO dear old America. He wants
to catch a glimpse of Sandy Hook, and
for this reason he declines the invitation
TO circumnayigate the globe, land at
san Francisco and make triumphaI
procession across the continent
The mighty Nimrod is quoted as fol-
lows in the news dispatches:
Il want to set hons as quickly as possible. When
vas in the Jungle did not really permit myself
to think Of home or business. But now that the
hunt is practically over. / am getting anxious to
sea Sandy Hoak.
MY plans for visiting Berlin. Paris and London
have been made for months, and have no thought
Of changing them now"
How it NEST wiring his heart to read
the months-old reports of the Ballinger-
Pinchot controversy! Then there is a de-
Iightful ARRAY at Albany moving on
apaee, with no one present to give it en-
phasis that would be heard across the
continent.
The beef barons are indicted, but they
have not been roundly denounced by any
one high in authority.
No wonder that feeling of homesiek-
ness. Probably, more than the colonel
misses Us. we miss him. When he re-
turns we will al be aware of it. The
man Of faded nerves needs bracer.
Col. Roosevelt will be ready to supply
the thrills
The Washington herald., 1910-03-02
THE HARDEsT-wORKED JOKE.
MoraI-Refraia Out of Kindness e
the Elevator Man.

Moral-Refraia Out of Kindness &c
the Elevator Man.
Fran the Chicago Tr4bane.
What do you consider the most-used
Joke In Chicago today" asked the sales
man.
No one answered for time. but at last
some one mentioned Great weather for
ducks as being worth while for a
leader.
The barber supply man spoke up: 8 Got
my hair cut to-day. ! said to a friend.
Why don't you get them all cut? he re-
piled. Seems 10 me that with all the new
hair-cuts in day in Chicago and all the
fool friends OF the hair eutees. this Joke
would be pretty well worn. Let's give Il
the crown.
The man with the happy face and the
red nose TO mention the bartender. who
invariably inquired. Have IL wrapped
up?" when you ordered two fingers OF
rye. IL was received in silence. They
all drank rye and remembered the noise.
The man who says. "Good-by, cid
chap: don't take any wooden money, %
was next reviled.
Then comes the prize idiot. who gives
you kick between the shoulders with
his fist. and shouts, See your back
again. grinning vacuously meantime.
The elevator man, who had stopped to
listen TO the stories between mis- tricks
on the car. had been standing on one leg
and then the other. nervously biting the
stem Of his pipe. One Of the crowd noted
his excitement
What's yoursf' he was asked.
This is where I get even Tor ten years
injustice" exploded the elevator chauf-
feur. Without one single doubt in the
world. I am the fall guy for the dumb
est hard-working man ever stood for. To
cap it all. 1t Is showed at me hot and cold
every day in the month. and every month
in the year.
Every man who gets on an elevator
after some successful deal. or has the
taste of some well-mixed drink tickling
his palate, hands it TO me. Stenos, office
boys. clerks. saiesmen-every one. in
fact-ladles it out, and each and every
rum among them thinks it's brand new"
VI AtSdNS2A ouhts WHAT Is III owe II
TO US, quick
The elevator man certainly has his ups
and downs, almost yelled the conductor.
That's the only joke that drives elevator
men 10 drink, and II there is any prizes
given In this contest, ! win EN- all.
There are about 500 elevator men In
Chicago, and know. from ten years ac-
tual experience, that that durn fool joke,
moss and all, is cracked FIVE times a day
in the presence Of each and every ele-
vator man in Chicago.
''Ia1t means 1900 times a day, 10000
times month, and 10000 times a year,
If that amt a record for one poor, meas
", moth-eaten joke, I'll eat it,
The crowd tried hard 10 console the
unfortunate man. and kept the wairer
busy doing it,
The Washington herald., 1910-03-02
PLEASURE TANNING BIRDS.
Milwaukee Woman Wins Confidence
of Crows and BIackbirds,

hAiWauAee woman wins Confidence
Of Crows and BIaekbirds.
From the Milwaukee Sentinel.
That there IS pleasure 10 be gained
from the homeliest Of natures creations
that world Of Joy and affection may
be derived from even the Ioud-voiced
crow-may be doubted by many, but
there is at least one Milwaukee woman
who can vouch for the truth Of the as
sertion.
Mrs. A c. CIas. always a nature lover,
and especially fond of birds of the forest.
expects, upon returning 20 the family
summer home this season, to find there
the pets of the wild that she taught to
love her last season.
Three crows, named the Three Black
Joes, were among her collection Of pets
last summer. and to her call. Hoo. hoo.
Black Joe,' they would fly to her, perch
ing upon her head and shoulders, regard
less OF couture and gowns.
As she worked in garden or arbor, the
crows would follow her about at times
trying to talk 10 her. They learned to
follow her 10 and from the train as she
went 10 and returned from the city.
THE baby crows were crying at the
highest point or pine tree when I first
saw them" said Mrs. Clas. "They were
deserted. and I had them brought down
10 me, People do not realize what a
great thing II Is TO have a wild creature
have absolute confidence in them and
become as fearless as a domestic crea-
tUre."
Later. a blueiay was added 10 the COL
lection. The crows were shot by some
hunter who did not know the sorrow his
deed caused. The bIuejay was left alone,
provided with an ample store Of food
for the winter. but Mrs. Clas is confident
he will be at the summer home when
she returns, and that many other birds
will Join the household before the sum
mer ends.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-02
Congratulations. Norfolk !

Norfolk. our charming, breezy, delight
ful neighbor Norfolk. is full of Joy once
more Nowhere on the horizon looms a
single cloud; dispelled is every evidence
of erstwhile melancholy and haunting
discomfort!
Norfolk is to have its sunrise and sun
set gun againi That cold and unfeeHng
martinez recently In charge of the local
navy yard-the one who ordered this
noble gun sileneed a year or so ago, you
know-has been relieved from duty at
Norfolk. What HIS name Is does not mat
ter, and where he is going is of no conse-
quence, perhaps. except in so far as we
may indulge the hope that he has been
sent where there are no ancient and hon
orable sunset guns to silence or sunrise
guns to ignore! Anyway. he has been
succeeded in authority at Norfolk by
Rear Admiral Marshall, and that gentle
man has ordered the old gun unlimbered
again and put back on the job just as il
used to be and as If nothing untoward
had happened!
And now. jocund Day may stand tiptoe
on the mountain top the while the old
gun booms. and not be afraid that Nor
folk is yet asleep and in an unwelcoming
mood. Darkness as of yore may fall
from the wings of night and be assured
that Norfolk is sitting up and taking
notice, as. for so many long. sweet years
il was won't to do "Boomr signals the
Norfolk gun as Phoebus Apollo pokes his
nose above the broad eastern horizon.
'Boom!" it sounds again as Phoebus
sinks TO rest out somewhere in the di-
recuon OF Cincinnati. No wonder Nor
folk Is itself again!
All honor and many congratulations TO
Rear Admiral MARSHALL Peace hath its
victories 70 less renowned than war;
and. by that token. it is better to have
made glad the heart OF a Norfolk than TO
have sent hostile Dreadnought to Davy
Jones locker for keeps. And We know
Norfolk is glad. all right. II is a sweet
tempered, old-fashioned. conservative
sort Of place. and it hates innovations,
jolts, and jars. 1t likes to proceed calmly
and with dignity along its way, even
as il was proceeding before Rear Ad-
miral What s. his-name- Nevermind came
along one day and gave temporary pause
to the old guns opportune and stated
salutations
The Washington herald., 1910-03-02

Few names deserve TO be placed before
that OF sam Houston in the roster OF
great Americans. To-day is his birth
day. and while little recognition viii be
taken Of the event. there is no doubt but
that each year is bringing more promi-
nently TO the notice of the public this
man and his brilliant career. Barbarian
he was to a decided degree, yet a mil
tary genius he proved himself in one of
the shortest and most brilliant campaigns
which won for Texas her independence
AS a statesman, the future HISTORIAN is
likely to give higher rank to him than
does the present, and as a man his career
stands out without parallel in American
history.
With a paltry force Of undisciplined
men, he won an empire-an empire great
er in extent than the thirteen original
States. But greater than any victory he
won in war or as a statesman was his
victory over himself. Wild, primitive.
violent. and passionate, he conquered
himself. He was to Texas its son and
its father, and no hero Of the Southland
Is stronger in the affections OF its people
than the man of San Jaeinto'
Losing. the historian, thus describes
him: Houston was six feet in height.
and perfectly proportional; slow of
speech and always kindly in manner; his
face was expressive Of great intelligence
and firmness OF will, and he was ready
and impressive debater. The writer re-
members seeing him when he first ap-
peared in washington as Senator. at
tracing the attention of everybody as his
commanding figure appeared in Pennsyl-
vania avenue, moving with military pre-
cision. while a bright scarlet Mexican
light blanket cast jauntily over his shoul-
ders made him a conspicuous object on
the street"
Sam Houston was born IN Virginia in
1913. His father died when he was a lad
of thirteen. and he was practically self
educated. as a boy, he is said to have
devoured Pope's translation Of the Had.
and when he commanded the Texas army
he studied Caesars Commentaries, as
did Miles standish, an Indian fighter of
an earlier day. Later he read and ap-
preciated Shakespeare, and perused the
The Washington herald., 1910-03-02
Defects in Public School System.

Is our public school system defective al
the root?
This inquiry is af1rmatively answered In
high quarter. President Taft. at the Uni
versity Club dinner. assented to a serious
depression in Hon. Champ Clarks other
wise humorous talk in which the Missou-
rian asserted that primary education was
to-day neglected throughout the country,
The failure Of fifty per cent OF the candi-
dates for cadetships at West Point and
Annapolis to pass the required mental ex-
aminations was due. he said. 10 their de-
fcienoy in elementary knowledge. They
could easier stand a test in algebra.
geometry. and uigonometry than in spell
ing, writing. and arithmetic. He attrib-
uted this deplorable situation 10 the
weakness Of our public school system in
Its primary grades,
Educators of the present day are wont
uniformly TO resent such criticism. They
would have US believe we are progressing
educatiOnally: that the common school
system has attained a degree OF perfec-
ton unknown in the past. and that the
youth of to-day'is infinitely better equip
ped for lifes struggles than the youth OF
generations gone by.
But results do not bear out this conf
dent, optimistic view.
The trouble undoubtedly is at the root.
as Mr.. Clark says. Elementary studies
are slighted-those studies that furnish the
basis, the practical groundwork. Of an
education Overattention is given 10 the
higher branches Of learning which furnish
no practical. lasting benefit 10 the aver
age student save in developing and
strengthening his mind.
Fads have beer insrafted upon the sys-
TEN. The training Of the young has
passed largely from the schoolmaster and
sehoolmistress to faddists and theorists,
who themselves have been overeducated-
educated" as the President put it. re-
ferring. however, 70 college men, into a
fine ecstasy. as It were. from which no
common sense can come"
What we need as Mr. Taft said. IS
sane and normal thinking" and common
sense, We need it IN dealing with the
problems that confront the country. And
we need. moreover, as Mr.. Clark so
strongly urged, school system that will
start the youth Alright
Army and navy officers are net devel-
eped out Of "a fine ecstasy of overlearn-
Ing Captains of industry are not made
out Of boys who cannot add and subtract
and who know not how 10 read and write
We are glad the note OF warning was
sounded at the University Club dinner.
It ought to be needed the country over.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-02

the expansion of the new system involv-
ing advisory aids OF the Secretary OF the
Navy. 1t win be interesting TO retain Mr.
Hohson's remark and observe whether it
possesses any Of the qualities OF prophecy.
There are those apprehensive service peo-
pie who have resisted this part of the
Meyer plan Of navy reorganization on the
ground that It viii lead TO a general stan
or some other wicked or oppressive oil
garehy. II VIII be all OF that, with ex-
allied rank added by way Of adornment, II
Mr.. Hobson possesses the characteristics
Of a seer.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-02
Mr. HObson and the Naval Ads

Those who have followed the public re-
ports Of the hearings Of the Never Man
Of navy reorganization before the House
Naval Committee with any desire to arrive
at an impartial judgment of the merits of
the controversy must have been i'm
pressed with the need of having on that
committee, or at It's disposal. some one
who could PROFOUND such Inquiries as
would bring out information Of value in
aiding the committees decision. Rep-e-
sentative Hobson, who is a member of the
COMMITTEES, has been absent during most
Of the hearings. He was present. how
ever, at the last appearance Of Score
tary Meyer, and the value Of a technical
training was manifest. That gentleman
asked questions which showed an init
mate knowledge of naval affairs admin
istrative and technical and there was
corresponding enlightenment of the COM
mittee. whether or not to the advantage
Of the Meyer system we VIII not under
take 10 say In a question Of this kind
the average Representative or Senator Is
seriously handicapped by not being famil-
lar with the subject under discussion 10
a degree which enables him to ask oues-
tons calculated 10 expose defects or the
ulterior motive or the subtle purpose i'm
bedded in so many legislative propositions
The report OF the hearings Of MIR. Never
contains the following eoIoquy:
ar. Hobson-It becomes more matter NJ ~,
asking II am oonstTlnng the spirit, but I Win
simply mention that these aids are only advisorv
present.. According 70 my understanding Of the
spirit q the plan, 1t is fundamental might So,
Sc has nay hearty sympathy-and can sea tbat he
fore very long You viii have. perhaps In GIVE -.
recommendations Of personnel 10 meet that or.s,g-
cation, and l can see here that. Of course ire
sBsctive Of other chiefs Of bureaus huh ara seo,s
SORES would have to have an officer with the rank
q rear admiral, propalling and motive would have
70 have an ofcsr With the rank Of rear admiral The
AID 70 nsoaesion would have TO have an eHesr with
ths rank Of rear admiral. and then to bring those
two together, the hull and accessories ard prnuellins
machinery. We would have to have vice aanirsj
for the aid Of material, and then. coordinate v5.b
him, the aud to PERSONAL. vice admiral and then
70 have co0dinats with tia whole uss Of the nav
We woald have 70 have an admiral as an aid for
operations do not wish you to commit yourself
70 that at 81.
''seerstaTy MsyaF-I DO not think win. laugh
tE)
'Sfr Hobsoa-But viii say that is my idea Of
the evolution Of the personnel. carrying out the
whole spirit.
"seEstzTy Msyer-I think the Recommendation fron
the President Cor the personnel btu viii cone IN
soon."
This comment. attributed to Mr.. Hob
son. possesses an interest as anticipating
The Washington herald., 1910-03-02
1t Wasn't a Joke.

From the Denver Post.
YES" said a travelling man the other
night. i was once put out of sight OF
land on the Atlantic Ocean twenty-one
days"
There was a small sized crowd sitting
around. Another man spoke up.
'On the Pacific Ocean one time didn't
see land for twenty-nine days" he said.
A little bald headed man knocked the
ashes from his cigar.
Il started across the Kaw River at
Topeka in skiff once" he said, "and
was out of sight Of land before I reached
the other side"
"Aw, come off," said The man who had
told the first tale THE Kaw isn't more
than 800 feet wide at Topeka F"
I didn't say il was" said the little
bald headed man quickly. The skiff
turned over and sank twice"
The Washington herald., 1910-03-02
a Leaf from Geology.

From an Exchange.
From the clay Of a railway cutting
near Spokane, Wash. has been taken a
tiny bit Of vegetable Aber-the leaf OF a
gingko tree which must have fourished
something Ike 10000 years ago. These
are fossils Of even greater age, of course.
but this leaf is still a leaf, not a mere
imprint In stone. and II is beyond cues
ton the Oldest known bit of vegetable
matter in the world The particular
species to which it belonged became ex-
tinct long ago. Its only surviving rela-
tive is the gingko tree of Japan. It's
appearance at the point where ii was
found proves to biologists that it grew
and fell when the Cascade and Coast
Range mountains had not yet been
formed, and the Rockies themselves
were young.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-02
ORIGIN OF @cUSs. /"
With Many Another Once Popular
Word Its Usefulness Has Waned.
FINN, the A.. -,

With Many Another Once Popular
Word Its Usefulness Has Waned.
From the New York World.
A controversy over the origin of "cussp
has cropped out in. the columns Of con-
temporary. Whether the word comes
from curse or from the German kraus,
whether indeed 1t is not derived from
customer, whatever its source the ety.
moiosicai question involved is Of minor
consequence as compared with the mo-
mentary revival Of a useful term which
1t has been sad to see fall into desuetude.
Since "bloke' and guy came into the
vernacular. ,cuss" has largely lost its
place Ia popular speech, surviving mainly
in the back country.
II has been a real loss. A ..cuss In
the day OF the worlds general vogue was
something moro than the ".mean fellow,
to which ono correspondent limits i,s
meaning. There was the ''orpery euss +"
TO be sure, but on the other hand a man
could be a plous euss or a lovable Old
ouss. IN the Bigelow Papers there is an
"everlastin' euss." It was the application
"a TIC Aet IL " SAAi anu LVAE-N4Dlis OL
men which gave it its aptness. John Hays
Jim Bludso would have been called a
euss in Pike county-of whom the poet
said:
He wsreu't 10 saint. but at jedmeut
I'd run my chance With jim.
There were cusses Of all kinds on the
stanislaus. at Poker Flat, IN the gold
fields on the picket lines IN the war of
the rebellion, wheneeer men have congre-
gated. The newer slang which comes up
from the Bowery or fits across the foot
lights OF the musical comedy is no doubt
largely responsible for the decline OF
''cuss." for which il has furnished no sat
isfactory substitute.
A distinguished British author has re-
Gently proposed society for the resusci-
tation OF old words now in disuse. the
passing OF a word like 'cuss" illustrates
the possibilities OF usefulness Of such q
society Unhappiy. fashions in words
once they have gone out. unlike fashions
in clothes, never come back.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-02
Accounted For.

From Puck.
The village cornetist. who made his liv.
ing as barber, was massaging pa
irons face.
That's a peculiar way Of massaging
the nose" remarked the man in the chair.
Some New York method?"
That? Oh, no. ] was Just practieine
the lingering Of the Second Hungarian
Rhapsody"
The Washington herald., 1910-03-02

simultaneously with the announcement
that the governor OF Georgia has written
a book comes the Augusta Herald and ac-
euses him OF treason. In Indiana the
former circumstance probably would IN
sure the governors reelection despite the
latter.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-02
An obstructionist.

Prom the Chicago News
The judge-Did you arrest this chauf-
feur for speeding?
The policeman-No, yer honor; I pulled
i'm in fer obstructin' tn road; he was
goin' only thirty miles an hour, an he
was complained about by them that was
riding at tn regular rate.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-02

other only cousins who desire to present
their claims" says the Chicago Record
Herald. And yet there are foolish people
who insist that no woman ever had real,
genuine sense OF humorl
The Washington herald., 1910-03-02

II pay my manager twelve thousand a
year"
at would jar me to hand that much
money 10 one man"
4 got used TO it by degrees. He started
with me at So per week"
The Washington herald., 1910-03-02

The first words from Mr.. Roosevelt as
he emerged from the jungies were. 7
am homesick-mlghty homesick" Call II
advertising or whatever you will. but that
sort Of talk accounts in large measure for
the former Presidents remarkable and
sustained popularity.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-02
II Indictment were Conyiction.

From the Buffalo Times.
Indictment Of the milk combination By the New
York grand jury. and investigation Of the baef
trust by the Hudson grand jury are ooincident
with indictment Of the beef trust BY the grand
jury in Chicago Probably other grand juries win
be emboldened by these examples 10 take similar
action. /! Indictment we're eouvietoa l. would
be easy to bring the fogestsIleTs Of the peoples
food 10 terms