davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-07-25

order. The fault evidently lies with
you, from gazing too much into the
full glory of the sun. Jobson was
perfectly safe, much as l regret 1t
for your sake"
Thank you, sir" answers the
protesting player. Il have no doubt
that you were in a better position
to witness what TRANSFERRED, but l
observed, or thought l did, that
BOggs touched JobsOn with the ball
right on the tip of his elbow three
PAGES from the plate. Can you not
reverse your mistaken"
Perkins, you forget YOURSELF"
calculates the umpire, in a shocked
tone of voice. And Perkins, cover
ing under the rebuke, returns to his
position, trying to smile through
his tears.
I think this is as 1t should be,
don't yOu?"
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-07-25

found the answer. You've discov
cred the cure. Well make him
crack joke of his own, and Their
he'll fairly split his sides laughing
at it,"
Fine, fine" Archimedes very
gloomily replied, "bat he doesn't
know a joke from a side of beef
and so how could he crack one?"
1--WE must teach him. returned
the court physician, with great de-
termination.
The teaching, however, was a
harder proposition than the court
physician had expected. Every day
the two labored manfully with Men
elaeus, but each day the king
wasted still farther away, from mel.
ancholy.
King" DR.. Humplegger would
say, Il notice you have a bun on
your table. What does that sug
gest?"
Then, in high expectation, he
would await the kings reply.
Something to eat" the king
would await the kings reply.
Something to eat" the king
would reply, in melancholy, cavern
Gus tones.
mo something different from
that" the doc would persist. Bun
on the table, you know. Bun bun
you know what you get when you
drink too much.
At last it came to the kings birth.
day, which was always celebrated
| with great display Of fireworks
DR.. Humplegger had forgotten this
tand while standing by the king, no
tlced the smell in the air Of the ma
terial used to ignite the fire crack
ers.
Sniff. sniff" snifded the doctor
II smell punk"
| For solemn, melancholy mo-
ment the king gazed at his court
physician. Then a smile chased
itself across his countenance.
I'm glad you've got the courage
to admit it," calculated the king
and began laughing.
How he laughed! His mighty
outlaws swept through the castle
and fairly blew Dr. Humplegger, q
smile of victory on his face, out OF
doors. For an hour or so the court
physician, very much satisfied with
himself, walked about in the
grounds. Then he met Archimedes
as the latter was coming from the
castle.
We'll, Arch" cried DR.. Hump
logger, "our joke plan was a sue.
cess. The king cracked a joke, at
my expense I'll admit, and immedi.
ately began laughing. He is finally
cured Of his melancholy. The cure
is a great success.
Eyes, too much of a success" de.
clared Archimedes. "The king has
just laughed himself to DEATH"
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-07-25
Ned Merton on Baseball
THE THIRD READER BOY" EXPLAINS THE SPORT
BY FRED scHAEFER.


a reproachable, yet respectful man
ner, for the purpose OF parley.
."Oh, sir! How could you, sir,'
he will whisper, "are you unwell
sir, that you did not discern the
runner was out by a full English
statute mile? Or, perhaps, your
eyes are dimmed by strabismus-
permit me to recommend my favor.
lite oculist. Here is his card"
THANK you, Perkins, no." re.
lip. "The fact of the matter is
spends the umpire, with quivering
that my orbs are in prime working
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-07-25
TEN MINUTES I'm
LAND OF STORIES
VERY SUCCESSFUL.
Bv Frank n, Williams,

The king was slowly passing
away, from melancholy. He was as
sad as 4 wet hen. Not smile re-
lieved the torture of his counte-
nance. and his eyes. twin orbs of
sorrow, regret and everything dis.
heartrening. brought tears to the
eyes of his courtiers.
He Is dying of dry rot" de-
clared Dr. Humplegger, the court
physician. UNLESS We can make
King Menelaeus VII laugh little,
we are minus one king in very
short period"
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-07-25
7. E. WESTLAKE CO.
1886 Riverside Ave.

The Sanitary, Up-to-the-Minute
Grocery. Established 10 Years
Our motto is quality; our
methods care in filling your or
ders, courteous treatment at all
times and prompt deliveries.
We are at present enlarging
our plant to meet the require
ments Of an increasing business.
Call on us and convince yourself
that We can supply your wants
and insure your satisfaction.
We would be pleased to show
you through our new modern
bakery and other manufacture
ing departments at all times.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-07-25

Officials of Anderson. Ind, are
experimenting with gasoline mo-
tor street car. If the tests are
successful 1t is planned to do away
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-07-25

KING" DIR. HUMPLEGGER
WOULD SAY, Il NOTICE YOU
HAVE A RUN ON THE TABLE"
II agree with you fully, most
worthy court doc" declared Archi-
modes, high keeper of the records
and seals, but how are We to Jug
gle a laugh out of that melancholy
SYSTEM"
You can search me-" was DR..
Humplegger's laconic reply.
For time, the two high officials
remained engrossed in deep
thought.
Let's see" muttered DR.. Hump
logger finally. people generally
| laugh at jokes"
Yes" replied Archimedes. land
most heartily and easily at their
own jokes"
AT this the court physician
jumped high into the air.
Eureka" he cried. you've
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-07-25
N F. A T

is a necessity, and if you buy
at the right place it is not.a
luxury. Try the Pacific
Market when buying for
your Sunday dinner.
Prime steer pot roast,
1Oc a pound.
Prime steer rib boil, SO
a pound.
And other meats in pro-
portion.
Pacific Market
10 MAIN AVENUE.
Phone Main 461
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-01-20

To the Palladium:
The evening sky is unusually full OF
interest to us all and this fact moves
me to write a line or two.
In the southwestern sky the planet
Venus is at present the most brilliant
Venus, the most brilliant jewel in the
evening sky. This planet is called
Evening Star or Morning Star. accord.
ing at it rises before or after the Sun.
1t is now moving rapidly toward the
sun, will in a few weeks pass it and
then will rise before the sun, making
it morning star. A little after sun
down and almost directly over head
are the planets Mars and Saturn Mars
is the brighter of the two and shows
a reddish color and is littl edistance
to the northeast Of Saturn. Mars is
moving in its orbit eastward more
than fourteen times as fast apparently
as Saturn. therefore the observer can
notice from week to week the increas-
ing distance between them. The diff
ferent rate Of their progress through
the sky is due to the fact that Mars
is travelling in an orbit so much small
err than Saturn. Mars circles the
Sun in two years, Saturn in twenty
nine. The star referred to in recent
issue of the Palladium as possibly the
Bethlehem Star, is the planet Jupiter.
Jupiter rises about midnight and is
very beautiful in the early morning
sky. 1t is the largest of all the plan
cts, in fact 1t is twice as large as all
the others put together. Its diameter
is 81 900 miles, it's distance from the
sun. 496 100000 miles. 1t makes one
circle around the sun in twelve years
and is never a fraction of a second be-
hind time. 1t has some eight moons.
four of them can be seen on clear
night through strong field glass. In
the coming spring Venus will be close
to Jupiter in the morning sky and the
sight will reward the early risers.
The socalled temperance of the
Star of Bethlehem every five hundred
years is bit Of popular fiction.
What have seemed to be new stars
have appeared from time to time in
the heavens and are called temporary
stars. They appear suddenly, blaze
brightly for time and then fade from
sight. One such. called Tycho's star
appeared in 1872, No. II. 1t grew
brighter till it outshone Venus. was
visible in full daylight. lasted more
than a year, finally faded away and
has never been seen since.
From the facts of astronomy one
can safely conclude that the story OF
the star Of Bethlehem is true, but the
facts do not warrant belief in the
return of such star at any time
much less any regular time.
S. r. LYONS.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-01-20
Again.!


franchise Richmond Natural Company.
to
all the had
In
The Nau Gas en-
II hasa franch al satisfaction.
VIII satisfied?
The protected
las n buy stock
The city receives nothi a
comp
established
this franchise
anything possibility Of competition
Natural Gas Company competionbu refused
to haves a franchise.
something.
the
profit
years
a nothing with safeguards the
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-01-20
Resurrection Of Messina.


From the Boston Transcript.
The resurrection of Messina will be
only another illustration of how diff
cult it is to destroy city which sits
on trade route or which becomes
center or school Of industry. CONNER
cial cities rise or decline with trade
routes. Venice began to lose its pri-
macy with the discovery Of the Cape
Of Good Hope rotue to India Never.
theless it was not ruined, and though
it's population is but three fourths OF
what it had when it held the gorgeous
east in fee," its inhabitants today
number 10000. The mad men of the
French revolution decreed that Lyons
should be no more. They leveled the
city which had resisted them to the
ground: they wiped out its name. and
in dozen years Lyons, the center
of the silk industry, the great distri-
buting point of the region, was what
1t had been before the terrorists turn
ed it into ruins. Today it is the third
city of France. A great San Francis
co looks out on the Golden Gate, de-
spite the catastrophe of 1906. Cities
are stubborn facts. 1t has been said
that If New York were overwhelmed
the necessity of the United States
would compel the reconstruction of a
great city where the Hudson reaches
the sea.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-01-20
us in a way the present conference

Thus in way the present conference
is body of specialists, seeking uni
formity in general and offering to the
advocates of all special lines the best
opportunity that has yet been present
ed to put their own projects in the way
of success.
The list of subjects legitimately fall
ing within the range Of state unity is
long and impressive. 1t is proposed.
for example. to unity the state laws re-
garding fire protection and insurance;
those in regulation of common car
riers which, doing an interstate bust
ness, are subjected to both state and
federal laws; those affecting the man
ufacture and sale of foods and drugs,
already regulated on an interstate ba-
sis by federal enactment; those affect
ing the marital relations, which are
not now under federal regulation.
Other propositions will be discussed
with reference to the propriety of
moving for state uniformity, especial
ly in all instances where the United
States has already established stand
ards in conformity to which it is de-
sirable that the state laws should be
written.
This conference may become pow
erful agent for the cure of conditions
which are increasingly cause of diff
ficulty and retard the country's prog
ress. The principle of interstate reg
ulation by the government is now
firmly fixed as part OF the national
system, and sooner or later it will be
necessary for the states to conform to
standards which have been established
by the votes Of their own chosen rep
resentatives in congress, and to which
they thus have MISUNDERSTANDING
ton Star.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-01-20
Items Gathered in
From Far and Near
TREATING Tuberculosis.
From the New York Tribune.

From the New 1OTk 1IlDuue.
Current reports of the results OF
treatment of tuberculosis patients at
sanatoriums in various states
show marked differences of eff
ficiency, which are perhaps suscep-
tible Of satisfactory explanation, but
on the whole give abundant encour-
agement for perseverance in the cam
paign against the white plague"
Thus in New York in 1907 there were
treated ST. patients. of whom > were
cured. 43 had the disease arrested
and So showed Improvement. In New
Jersey in 1909 OF 31s treated % were
cured, "a arrested and 60 improved.
In Massachusetts, in 1907 of 1880
treated. 1877 were cured. 165 arrested
and 279 improved. In Rhode Island in
1907 there were 31S treated, of whom
IL were cured. "a arrested and Is i'm
proved. Maryland in 1909 showed
record OF $50 treated, 10 cured, IS
arrested and 100 improved On the
other hand, Virginia in the same year
had so treated, of whom only l was
cured and were arrested. The total
record of the states named, with Mich
igan and Wisconsin added, shows 3.343
treated, 276 cured. 452 arrested and
e29 improved: or 1857 substantially
benefited.
There were. therefore. So percent
of the whole number of patients cur
ed, 1875 percent had the disease check
ed and 1873 percent were improved:
making more than 30 percent benefit.
ed to some perceptible degree. Such
a percentage of benefit applied to the
whole nation would mean an enor-
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-01-20
EXPEDITE CORPORAL TON TAX.

Apparently the validity of the cor
poration tax law is to be tested exactly
as that of the income tax law was un-
der the second Cleveland administra-
tion. That is to say, the case just be-
gun in the federal circuit court in Chi
cago is one to which the government
Is not party. A stakeholder sues to
restrain the officers and directors of a
bank from voluntarily complying with
any of the provisions of the act and
paying-except under protest-any tax
for any period, past or present.
If the bank alone defends the suit
the decision finally reached will set
tie nothing, legally speaking. except
the legality of particular payments ny
a particular corporation. If, however,
the attorney general should intervene.
as the attorneys of the bank wish and
ask him to do, and argue the issues in
volved thoroughly, as was done in the
income tax cases by Mr.. Olney, decis-
ion by the supreme court would set
tie for the entire country and for all
corporations the question Of the con-
stitutionality Of the act, and the gov
eminent would be bound by the ulti-
mate decision.
OF course it is desirable to reduce
litigation, uncertainty and confusion
to minimum. The government it.
self should be as anxious as the cor
porations are to know where it
stands with hegard to the corporation
tax and the sooner the case is brought
to conclusion the better for business,
for revenue, for all interests affected
by it. Doubtless the supreme court
would expedite the suit on application,
when its turn came. Meantime it
should be pushed with all possible Wig
Or.-Chicago Record-Herald.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-01-20
Beware of Ointments for Ca
tarrh That Contain Mercury.

as mercury will surely destroy the
sense OF smell and completely derangs
through the mucous surfaces. Such
articles should never be used except
on prescriptions from reputable phys,-
clans. as the damage they will do is
ten fold to the good you can possibly
derive from them. Hairs Catarrh
Cure. manufactured by F. J. Cheney
& Co, Toledo, o. contains no mer-
curry. and is taken internally. acting
directly upon the blood and mucous
Halls Catarrh Cure be sure you get
the genuine. I. is taken internally
and made In Toledo. Ohio. by F. J.
Cheney & Co Testimonials free.
Sold by Druggists Price 75c per
bottle
Take Halls Family Pills for consti-
patton.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-01-20
Wrinkles
(By Philander Johnson)

Spare That Tree!
We've got to save the forest lands,
For what fearful fate
To the prophetic eye expands
With sawdust out of date!
Each morn will find us harsh and rude
And all insatiate;
There'll be no patent breakfast food
With sawdust out of date.
The paper roll that slowly frets
The air with vapors great
Must die. Well have no cigarettes
With sawdust out Of date.
No more the acrobats will fling
Gay flipflaps and gyrate.
How can they build a circus ring
With sawdust out OF date?
The dancer with her merry whirls
Will find shapeless state.
What shall we do for ballet girls
With sawdust out Of date?
No wonder that We shrink in fear,
AS for the end we wait.
This world would be sorry sphere
With sawdust out of date.
A Simile.
The climates like a sandwich
AS on our way We jog
4 very little sunshine
Between two chunks of fog.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-01-20
UNIFORMITY OF STATE LAWS.

For some years belief has grown
steadily stronger that measures
should be adopted to unity the laws
and practices of the states in certain
regards in order to prevent the noma-
lous conditions now existing owing to
the wide differences of state laws. At
tention was attracted to this need most
conspicuously a few years ago, when
an effort was made to secure a uni
form divorce law throughout the Unit
ed States. to cure q scandalous and
morally dangerous diversity The con-
ference Of governors summoned by
President Roosevelt two years ago was
the first move on broadly national
lines in this direction Of state unifica-
ton. the immediate purpose of that
meeting being to advance the cause of
the conservation of resources. While
little was accomplished in direct re-
suits as result of the conference, the
moral effect of great meeting of gov
ernors in Washington was unmistaka-
BILE. and since then several plans have
been proposed to establish such con.
ferences as regular feature of the ma
tional organization.
Today begins a conference on uni
form legislation. called by the Nation
al Civis Federation. Over four hun
dred delegates, named by the COVER
nors Of the states, are in attendance,
1t is planned to discuss the entire
range Of interstate laws. and and to
emphasize the need of uniformity of
legislation. In a way this conference
will be clearing house of ideas. in
vitations having been issued to all the
important national organizations
which are at work to secure uniformity
in special lines to be represented be-
fore the conference, in order that this
body may obtain a comprehensive
view of the needs of the country in this
respect
As matter OF practical procedure
this is probably the most effective
method that can be adopted. This
present conference will express the de-
mand not for any particular line Of
uniform legislation. but for the adop-
ton Of the broad principle of unity OF
state laws in certain matters which are
essentially Of an Interstate nature.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-01-20
Mans Misery
Promptly Banished
(FrOm Mans MaladieS."


which causes a man to become
abJect in manner, timid. SuSpic-
ious and jealous without real
warrant, can be readily Danish
ed by a systematic nerve treat
ment which can be followed out
in the privacy of home and re-
storation of normal or natur-
al condition speedily ensues.
\ man feels and knows when
that it holds, and this know
ledge makes the misery which
occurs with such symptoms as
unsteady gait. weak voice,
downcaSt eyes. cold eXtremities,
loss of flesh. loss of self control.
back and back part of head,
shooting pains, heart palpita-
ton. nervousness. sleeplessness.
hollow eyes. sunken cheeks.
colorless lips. dizziness and
The reeuirement to overcome
restoration OF power and
strength to the nervous system
which has been poorly nourish-
ed or abused by thoughtless eat
ing drinking or social duties.
perhaps superinduced by over
work. Keen. strong, sensitive
nerves which carry every SEN
Satlon or emotion to the brain
Centers of consciousness can
and should be the possession OF
every living individual. Let this
prescription be used and the re-
suits will surely reward the eff
forts. Obtain of any good drug
gist. three ounces of syrup sar-
saparilla compound. in a six
ounce bottle. Add one ounce Of
compound fluid halmwort, shake
and let stand for two hours.
then add one ounce OF tincture
cadomene compound tnot car
damoml and one ounce OF COM
pound essence cardiol. Mix
Shake we'll and take tea
spoonful after each meal and
one when retiring. The three
last named ingredients are spec
tally prepared and powerful
concentrations, much used in
various prescriptions. but con-
tain no opiates to harm the sys-
TEN.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-01-20
FORUMOFTHEPEOPLE
Articles Contributed for This Column
Must Not Be in Excess of 400
Words. The Identity Of All Con-
fribut0rs Must Be Known to the
Editor. Articles viii Be Printed in
the Order Received.

Editor Palladium:
Your editorial of today (Jan. 18TH
on the British Election" wherein you
say 1T (The Budget) was rejected by
the Lords because it placed tax on
the necessities of life" is hardly cor
rect. The Objectionable feature Of the
financial bill was the proposal to tax
unearned increments. including un-
cultivated lands held for game pre-
serves.
Chancellor of the Exchequer George
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-01-20
UnprofesSionai.

Unprofessionai.
You and your old friend Meander.
ing Mike have separated" said the
village constable.
Yep" answered Flooding Pete.
Hes plagiarist. He got up early
in de morning an went down de road
tellin' me best hard luck story"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-01-20
Plenty Of Heat.

Plenty Of Heat.
From the New Orleans Times-Demo-
crat.
Washingtonians need not worry
over the cold weather for the rest of
tiers, Ballingerites and anti.Ballinger-
ties, promise to keep things warm in
that vicinity.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-01-20

of serious thought he seems reticent
about showing his eloquence.'
Yes" replied Senator Sorghum, Il
fear he has put an enemy into his
brains to steal away his mouth"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-01-20

is hardly the type Of man to exact
any charges, for additional expenses,
from the necessaries of life, as long
as the lauded interests OF England
are exempted from it's just proper
ton of the Nations financial burden.
Yours truly,
A. Bavis,
All n 18th St.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-01-20
In the Realms Of FIattery.

His majesty seems inclined to be.
lieve everything he hears" said one
courtier
Not exactly" answered the other;
he merely insists on not hearing
anything he does not wish to believe"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-01-20
The Profitable Pronoun.

What makes the writer use the
first person singular SO much"
He gets a dollar a word, and Il is
the shortest word there is"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-01-20
POLITICAL
ANNOUNCEMENTS
JOINT SENATOR.

WALTER S. COMMONS-Candidate
for Joint Senator from Wayne and
Union counties, subject to Republi.
can nomination.
CHARLES W. STIVERS, Of Union
county, is a candidate for joint SEN
ator from Wayne and Union coun-
ties, subject to the Republican pri-
mary election.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-01-20

Reversing the Order.
That orator has become a student
of political economy" said the states
man; but since he got his head full
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-01-20
COUNTY CORONER.
COUNTY AUDITOR.

L. S. BOWMAN-Of Hagerstown. can
didate for Auditor of Wayne county.
subject to the Republican nomina-
ton.
ALBERT E. MOREL-Candidate for
Auditor OF Wayne County. subject
to the Republican nomination.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-01-20

nous saving Of life and an enormous
increase of industrial efficiency.