davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-10-20
How to Please the Editor.

Advance to the inner door and give
three rapS. The devil will attend to the
alarm. You will give your name, post
office address, and number OF years you
owe for the paper. You will be admitted
into the sanctum and will advance to 1.-THE
center OF the room, where you will ad-
dress the editor with the following coun-
tersign: Hold the right hand about two
feet from the body, with the thumb and
fingers clasping S. bill, which you will
drop into the editors hand, saying:
"Were you waiting for me?" The editor
will grasp your hand and the bill, press
ing it, and will say: "You bet!"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-10-20
Her Revenge.

A little girl had been so very naughty
that her mother found it necessary TO shut
her up in dark cloSet-in that family the
drest punishment for the worst offense.
For fifteen minutes the door had been
locked without sound coming from be-
hind it-not whimper, not sniffle. AT
last the stern but anxious parent unlock
ed the closet door and peered into the
darkness. She could see nothing.
"What are you doing in there?" she
cried.
And then a little voice piped from the
blackness.
81 thpit on your new dress, and J thplt
on your new hat, and am waiting Tor
more thpit to come TO thpit on your new
parasoll"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-10-20

Senator Gallinger, in an address al
Concord, N. H., said of political oppo-
nent:
"He isn't half so well off as he thinks
he is. He'll wake up with start one oi
these days-like Mr.. Fawcett.
"Mr. Fawcett, entertaining an unex-
pected guest at luncheon. said as they
sat down TO table:
"'My dear sir, will you have some oi
the sliced bologna sausage or-or"-.
ellis eyes darted frankly all over the
table, and he continued:
"'Or not p"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-10-20

A western newspaper has investigated
the protective tariff with view 10 aseer-
tanning the amount OF tax which the aver
age family pays per year because OF It.
Its elaborate tables OF figures show the
cost per family TO be $50 year Tor the
government. sl75 per year TO domestic
manufacturers. This makes the annual
tariff burden per family sl95 a year. II
every family which is thus taxed were
required TO pay Sl95in lump sum at one
Tina. il would not be long until there
would be general downward revision Of
schedules. But little OF il is paid on
shoes, a little more on clothes, eonsid-
erable amount on cafpets--it is paid out
here and there, and The consumer does
not realize how much he is being indi-
rectly taxed in the aggregate.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-10-20

About ten miles Of the Panama Cana!
are now open. Five miles al the Pacific
entrance are used by vessels OF all kinds.
Five and a hall miles al the Atlantic en-
trance were opened in August for the use
Of construction barges. Work on the
Gatum dam and the great locks Is pro-
crossing so satisfactorily that i is con-
fidently predicted that the plan 10 run
Slips through its whole length before the
close OF 1915 will be carried out.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-10-20
It's The Worlds Best.

No one has ever made salve, oint-
ment or balm to compare with Bucklen's
Arnica Salve. It's the one perfect healer
of Cuts, Corns, Burns, Bruises, Sores,
Scalds, BoiIs, Ulcers, Eczema, Salt
Rheum. For Sore Eyes, Colds Sores,
Chapped Hands, or Sprains, it's supreme.
Infallible for Piles. Only 25c at Hills
Pharmacy.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-10-20
cit Beats An.n

This is quoted from a letter DIM. Stock
well, Hannibal, Mo. "I recently used
Foley's Honey and Tar for the first time.
To say am pleased does not half express
my feelings. 1t beats all The remedies !
ever used. contracted a bad cold and
was threatened with pneumonia. The
first doses gave great relief and one bottle
completely cured me-" Contains no OPT
ates. Sold by all Druggists.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-10-20
Catarrh Entirely Relieved.

Mr.. Ira Henney, Fairfield, Freestone
Co., Texas, writes:
81 am completely cured Of all symp'
toms of catarrb.
81 can truly say that Pcruna is the
best medicine over saw. will always
recommend Pcruna 10 all my friends, for
catarrh."
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-10-20
Kills A Murderer.

A merciIess murderer is Appendicitis
with many victims But DIR. Kings New
Life Pills Kill 1t by prevention. They
pently stimulate stomach, liver and bowels,
preventing that clogging that invites ap-
pendicitis, curing Constipation, Headacee
BIiousness, Chills. 25c at Hills Phar-
macy.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-10-20
Lies Common Things.
A common thing, you say 2

common thing, you Sayp
Why, sweetheart life is made OF common things -
The violet that blooms beside the way,
The wee nests, born OF love and summer time,
The sunshine and the shadow Of each day.
| love Gods common things
Sunrise and sunset, moon and evening star
o. common stars. lighted so long ago
The sunshine flashing back from SOFT brown wings.
The full strong sweep OF tides that ebb and flow.
A common thing, sweetheart
The grandest song is made OF common chords,
The fair. white statue formed OF common clay,
The nobest life is rounded out, at last
BY common deeds that make the common day.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-10-20
A Famous fienIth Builder.

A medicine that will cleanse the bowels
ard put them in condition 10 do their
proper work unaided will do more than
anything else 10 preserve health and
strength. Such a medicine IS the tonic
laxative herb tea, Lanes Family Medicine.
Get a 25c. package to-day at any drug
gist's or dealers. No matter what you
have tried before. try this famous herb
tea
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-10-20

"Talk about yer easy marks" said
Uncle Silas Geehaw, who had been pass
ing week in the city, 'us rubes amt in
it with them air teown chaps"
"Did yew sell 'em emmy gold bricks,
Silas ?" queried old Daddy Squashneck.
"Naw, didn't, answered Uncle Silas,
"but seed a felIer peddlin' artificial ice
he'd tn sign right on his wagon-an'
blamed ef tn chumps didn't buy it fer tn
real thing, by grass y
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-10-20

The Rev. DR.. FourthlY mildly reprov-
ing his youngest daughter:
"Florence, do you think it is appro-
pirate to wear that gaIdy hat to church T?
1t looks as if you went there merely to
be SEEN"
Miss Florence FourthlY, aged II, de-
murely responding:
"WelI, papa, all you go to church for
is TO be heard, isn't it?"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-10-20
Catarrh Of Head.

Mr.. G. Hallock, Antwerp, ohio,writes;
"My daughter Allie, after taking
three bottles OF your Peruna, Is entirely
cured OF catarrh OF tho head OF two
years standing. We recommend Pc.
runa to any body who has catnrrh."
Peruna Is manufactured by the
Peruna Drug Mfg. Co., Columbus, Ohio.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-10-20
Eo- More Than Three Decades

Foley's Honey and Tar has been a
household favorite for coughs, colds, ana
ailments OF the throat, chest and lungs.
Contains no opiates. Sold by all Drug
giSts.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-10-20
Hubby and His Story.

"Oh, my DEAR" said the husband, al
must tell you something Robert Camp
bell told me to-day while
"Where did you see Robert Camp
bell ?" interrupted the wife.
ooh. we went to luncheon together
and
"How did you happen to 90 to lunch
con together p
"Well, We didn't exactly 90 together.
met Robert at the restaurant, and
"What restaurant ?"
"MarSton's, and Robert
"How did you happen TO 90 to Mars
toms? | thought you always went to
Cook's?"
81 most always do, my dear, but hap
pened to drop into Marston'S to-day with
Robert and"
"Does he always lunch there ?"
'T am sure don't know whether he
does or not. 1t makes no earthly differ
ence if'-
ooh, Of course not. | Just wonder if
he did, that's ALL Go on with your sto-
ry."
"Well while we was eating our soup,
Robert" -
"What kind OF soup?
"ConSomme. Robert, he said that
al thought you never ate that kind Of
soup ?"
"Well, | don't care much for it, BUT
"How did you happen to order it if you
didn't like it ?"
Because did. But the soup has
nothing to do with the story"
mo? Well, Of course not, | never said
ii did. don't see why you should get
so cross over simple question. Go on. :"
"WelI, while we were eating our soup
Lawrence Coventry and his wife came in
and''-
"They did? ?"
81 have just stated the fact.
"Uhm You needn't get so cross.
"They came in and
"Is Elizabeth pretty ?"
"Pretty enough. Robert bowed and"-
"DoeS he know them ?"
"Well, now, do you suppose he would
have bowed il he hadn't known them ?"
Chow was she dressed ?"
woman alive never looked at her
dress, so how should know? What |
was going to tell you was that
"Did they sit near you ?"
Eyes, at the next table, and while they
were ordering Robert said that they
Couldn't they hear him ?"
"Do you suppose Robert would have
no more sense than TO let them hear him
talking about them Look here, now
George, if you can't tell simple lit
tie story without getting into passion,
you'd better keep it to yourself. What
did Robert say ?"
"He said Mrs. Walkers father was OPP
posed to the match and'-
GLOW did he know that ?"
"Great Caesar There you 90 again -
George, please remember, it is your
wife to whom you are speaking" "
"No other woman would drive me
raving, distracted crazy asking silly queS-
tionS about
George !"
every time attempt to tell you any
thing you begin and your
George, ! do not propose listening TO
any such insulting remarks and"-
"You never listen to anything. That's
the trouble. IP'-
"When ask you simple question
your
"SimpIel You've asked me hundred
simple questions in the last half-hour,
just because was going to tell you that
Robert Campbell said that
al do not care to know what Mr.. Rob-
ert Campbell said. You cannot tell a
thrilling story and tell it respectfully.
shall have my dinner sent TO my room,
since it is so painful for you to eat with
an idiot -
And the wife retires Scornfully, while
her husband narrowly escapes apoplexy
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-10-20

An Irishman was charged with petty
offence.
"Have you any one in court who will
youch for your good character 2" queried
the judge.
eyes, son; there is the chief constable
yonder," answered Pat.
The chief constable was amazed.
"Why, your honor, don't even know
the man." protested he.
"Now. sor," broke in Pat, 81 have
lived in the borough for nearly twenty
years, and If the chief constable doesn't
know me yet, isn't that character for
yeZ ?"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-10-20
A Better Campaigner.

Two candidates for the same office
came into a certain town one day.
One called at a house where a little
girl came to the door. Said he: "Sissle,
will you please bringmeaglass ofwater2"
Having brought the water, he gave
her some candy, and asked:
"Did the man ahead Of me give you
clndY?"
Eyes, sir" she replied.
Then he gave her a nickle, and asked,
Did ne give you money!
eyes, sir; he gave me 10 cents"
Then picking her up, he kissed her,
and asked:
"Did he kiss you?"
ayes, sir, and he kissed mamma, too. D"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-10-20
Notice to Voters.
Real Estate for Sale.

desirable properties:
-,A.,,. Excellent farm OF $50 acres near Kear-
-.5- a qlCe ,l,, mule home Of five or six acres
las, a desirable place OF 25 acres near Shep-
Sba.ll ba.iIl acres OF unimproved land near
Two l"o good business and residence
REysfSIueS on the Main street in Shep-
TOT particulars, inquire of
II. L. SNYDER & co.
SheDherdSiown. w. Va.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-06-26
THE ANT.
Facts About One of Natures Most
 Industrious Creatures.

When spring comes with all its
 wealth of opening buds and new flowers, the ant is preparing for a season of profitable industry.
 It comes out of it's winter quarters and locates new home where it can store away, during the summer months, the sustenance for the long winter days
 Just as industrious as the ant-but in different way, are the countless -infinitisemal germs which burro.H into the scalp and eat away at the roots of the hair.
 As they burrow away Dandruff forms, and if the germs are not all killed, Badness results.
 Newbro's Herpicide is the only known remedy which kills the germs.
 Sold by leading druggists. Send 1Oc in stamps for sample to The Her. picide Co.,, Detroit, Mich. One dollar bottles guaranteed. Bedells Phar- macy, special agents.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-06-26
GIRL ELOPES TO AVOID HAVING BIG WEDDING
Mayor Gaynor's Daughter Is Second cf Family to Run Away to
 Be Married.

NeW York, June 24.-Because she threaded an elaborate public function which would have been necessary had nef wedding been formal, was the reason assigned by Mrs. Harry " singut for her elopemeni to Whining ton, Del, where she was married, nrs sngut, who was Edith Augusta daynor, IS stopping at the Plaza ho- ei With her husband, who is a mil Fiionare broker and horseman. When seen. she had just called her father pn the telephone and declared tha, he laa fully forgiven her for her hastv wedding.
 People don't know my father" she e..ared' and you have to know him Ee,l to understand him When I olu nlm of our wedding, he said:
 na. ever you do, my girl, is all gut Mrs. Vingut is the second of lasof Gaynor's children to elope. His =, hufus Gaynor, eloped on Dec. isoS' witar Naria Giuffi daughter
 oaroertA.Sew London. Conn. nelr wedding was annulled in Anril ss, .. when it was shown that Miss
 i' haa a previous husband living
 eA the ceremony was performed.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-06-26

completed, also that the allotments tc the Indians and the appraisement of the surplus lands have been made. Tie timber land will be sold under sealed bids. the rest being drawn for under the lottery plan, similar to the mefsod employed at the opening of the Flathead, the Occur dAlene and Snohane reservations in 1909
 The Yakima reservation comprises 1, ,145, ,o00 acres, of which 100 900 will he opened subject to the reclamma- ton act The United States govern- ment is constructing an irrigation plant to water that much land. This land may be taken up in farm units, ranging from 40 to 16O acres, de- Fcf5ins upon the productivity of the soil. The cost of the water right aenends upon the expenditure on the canal and is prorated against each f;ClC Watered.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-06-26

contention that horse racing would again have it's day in the United States, Barney Schrieber, largest breeder of thoroughbreds in the coun- try, is preparing to dispose of his 1oo-acre estate, Woodlands. in St. LOUIS county, and to open an estab- lishnent in France
 Schr.eber's decision was reached after the New York legislature en- acted law to prohibit oral betting The master of Woodlands has 500 head of horses. He will ship string to Buenos Ayres September 1 and as soon as possible, it is announced, will export the balance of his racing stock 10 France. Schrieber has been con- spscuous on the turf for many years.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-06-26
PILES! PILES. FILES!

Williams Indian Pile Ointment wi. cure Blind. Bleedings and l,1.:.'ys r'!l-s It absorbs the tumors. ahay, irc hing at once, acts a . poultice Sives instant relief. Will1ams' Indias Pic Ointment is preparel for pilse and itching of the private parts. Sola 3. ..uggikts. mall soc and 3l.00. W. '>m4' ME. Co, Props.. Cleveland. o
 ".c rv NcCammor < Sona
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-06-26
UNCLE SAM 10 Tn0n
 MILLION ACRES OPEN
Washington Land Gan Be Taken Up in Farm Units of From 40 to
 l60 Acres,

Spokane, Wash, June 24.-More than 100000 acres of Indian res- eryation lands in Yakima and Klick- fiat counties, in south central Wash ington, will be opened for homestead purposes next September or October. It is announced that all the survey work on the reservation proper is
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1910-06-26
GOOD MORNING

Yes we are installing the most up- to-date bath rooms in the city. Whyf Becadse we are up to tomorrow on plumbing and you don't have to bs ashamed Of your bath room when Wolff does your work for he knows how. If you don't want good work. give your job to some ona else II you do. see Wolff, III s Beech 8A old phone 855.
The Illinois issue. (Chicago, Ill. ;) 1906-1912, 1910-05-13
Libeling a City

The Hiusboro Neos of May says: GA representative
of the saloon interests Hsboro this week securing
from City Clerk Frank P Winchester all the information
he could concerning the financial standing Of Hsboro He
getting this information for the purpose of writing Hills
boro up saloon journal paper and will of
endeavor give little city black eye
can, showing the awful effects of without saloons
His wrteup may carry weight elsewhere but will not
have effect here the people all know the debts the
city is confronted with contracted while the
looms here and not since they voted of the
township"
The Illinois issue. (Chicago, Ill. ;) 1906-1912, 1910-05-13

in view of the contemplated attempt by the liquor interests
to eliminate all the wet dry question except
those within Incorporated limits.
AS the outlying and unncorporated sections Of the
ties have youth and homes and property protect as
major portion Of the pauper and criminal expense neces
STATED by the saloon universally falls upon the
porated portions of the county, they should have equal
with the incorporated portions deciding all questions per-
tanning to the saloon.
In view of the serious crisis in this matter call upon all
good citizens of every nam creed and political conviction
to rally for the accomplishment Of the hope prayers
Jesus Christ and all christians expressed in the Lords
Prayer these word EThy Kingdom come Thy will be done
in Heaven so in earth.'
We recommend that copy of these resolutions be
the headquarters of the AntiSaoon League Of Illinois,
The Illinois issue. (Chicago, Ill. ;) 1906-1912, 1910-05-13
On to Springfield June 7

Superintendent Shields has sent the following letter
the pastors of the state.
Chicago May 9Th, 1910
Dear Sir and Brother:
On account of the meeting of the Grand Army of
illinois at Freeport May 24th and in order that time
may be given for the completion Of county organizations
and the securing of proper representation found
it necessary to postpone state convention from May
Oath until June 7th Please get notice of this change in
your daily weekly paper possible
The methods used by the liquor in the recent
elections in Illinois, together with the developments in the
bribery charges involving members of the last legislature
make it peculiarly opporune time for the temperance
forces Of this state to the election Of legislature
that will pass county option bill 1t will not much
for people to bear the of delegate but
if have delegate from every church in your
county it will that the county will be fire for
county option when they return 1t will too that
the general plan throughout the state will be perfectly
understood and the campaign will be Systematically
conducted Will you not please that your delegate is
duly elected and notify of the same.
We have received this morning the following notice:
"Dear Sir:-You cordially invited to send
The Illinois issue. (Chicago, Ill. ;) 1906-1912, 1910-05-13
Endorse County Option

The following resolutions approved by the Egn Con-
gregational Association April 9th their annual meeting
at Carpentersvile, Illinois:
The representatives of the Egin Association Of Congre
gatonal churches Of Illinois session at Carpentesve
Illinois, April 9th, 1910 hereby reairm their unalterabe
devotion to the of entire prohibition of the traffic in
intoxicating liquors within these United States Of America,
and their confidence in the WISDOM justice and might of
Almighty God who at the head of His loyal hosts will lead
unto the final triumph of right wrong
We also heartily reafm confidence in the Saloon
League of Illinois and Of the United States Of America,
the effective agency of the churches of God which He
himself has raised up accomplish His purpose
We commend the purpose of the AntiSaloon League
push the AnSaoon campaign with renewed faith and vgor
until under God the victory finally and land
delivered from it's greatest curse.
We denounce the scheme of the saloon interests under the
guise of the United Societies for personal liberty and the
Brewers scheme for saloon reform compromise with
evil deadly it's couptng influences that the only safety
for society," the home and the state is it's annhlaon The
saloon itself radically wrong and reform it's supporters
pledge is blind to conceal it's iniquities
We recommend that the AntiSaloon League Of Illinois
undertake determined and systematic
educate the of the state thoroughly this
question vital to good citizenship To this end
commend the immediate organization of County Saloon
Leagues throughout the state This regard imperative
The Illinois issue. (Chicago, Ill. ;) 1906-1912, 1910-05-13
TIL ILLINOIS ISSUE

delegate to the Statewide Prohibition Convention
In the Christian Tabernacle at Decatur Tuesday,
May 10th, which is to inaugurate movement for
statewide prohibition in this state''
AT large meeting of the Anti-SalOon League Prohbi-
ton Party workers and Local Option promoters of Mch
gan held in Lansing Tuesday, April Goth resolution was
introduced calling for election for statewide prohibition
for Michigan to be held next spring The general sentiment
OF the meeting that the time opporne
for such movement One Of the leading speeches the
opposition to the resolution made by Samuel Dckey
President of Albion College, and former Chairman of
National Prohibition Committee. Dr. Dickey in explaining
his opposition to the resolution said that while he favored
the peedest possible destruction Of the liquor traffic that
it his judgment that would be best for present to
proceed along the county option line and thus work up
the place where general movement for statewide prohbi
ton would be justified We believe Dr. Dickey gave the
people good advice and understand it followed If
they not ready for statewide prohibition in Michigan
certainly for similar ready for it in Hi
nois and sorry that any attempt going be made
to waste the peoples energy and time in such fuess labor
especially when there such need for united effort
what is possble-a county option law.
Yours respectfully,
James K. Shields
State Superintendent.