davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-10-10
Inarn to LAUGH.

Laughter is the best OF all tonlcs.
Bacilli are humorless folk and hate
the physical constitution that is al
ways vibrating with the shocks OF
fun. This is a truism, but serviceable
and likewise worth repeating are the
platitudes on laughter as the great
aseptic Of the soul. 1t is true there
are different kinds Of laughter, and
some Of them need formaldehyde.
There is a kind, too, that needs bicar-
Donate Of soda as an antidote-an-
other that calls for lithia tablets. But
the right sort Of laughter was stolen
from the gods by some wiser Prone
theus, and nothing can prevail against
1t. In America there is plenty Of
laughter, good. bad and Indifferent, but
mostly good, and much that is very
good. 1t is one of our greatest nation
al resources May we conserve it al
ways. A people that laugh kindly
and often have not much to fear;
people that laugh wisely, nothing
Chicago Tribune.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-10-10
Fanny Dickens.

Fanny, the sister of Charles Dickens,
was one Of the first students entered
at the old Royal Academy Of Music
when 1t opened its doors at Tenterden
street in 1923, and at that time the
students lived at the academy, only
going home for the week end. Every
Sunday" Dickens told Forster, II was
at the academy at 8 o'clock In the
morning to fetch her Fanny. and we
walked back there together at night"
And the Sunday itself the two spent
In the Marshalsea prison, where their
father and mother then resided, owing
to Mr.. Dickens having failed to pro-
pitiate his creditors" While her IA
Their was still in prison Fanny won a
prize at the academy, and the future
novelist, then engaged in pasting la
bells on backing pots at shillings q
week, was present to see her receive
it.-Westminster Gazette.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-10-10
"Niuoerino" LOGS,

The question was asked me as n ma
tive of Maine If I could find out what
lingering" logs meant in the state
ment 1--WE fingered the logs ! found
that to niger logs was to save the
labor of chopping them into lengths
by piling them up crossed at points
where 1t was desired to separate them.
BY building fires under these crossings
several logs could be burned into sec
tons at once. Because "a niger
was supposed to be lazy, this lazy
mans way of cutting logs into lengths
was, naturally enough, called mig
gering. Appleton Morgan in New
Shakespeareana
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-10-10
AIexanoria 6azeffe.
MONDAY EVENING, OCT. 10
mr.. Franklin at the Bar.

Among the state papers Tor the year
1886 may be read a letter from John
Bartlett to Henry Wills minister,
Thomas Cromwell. stating that in ac-
cordance with the recent act the mayor
and aldermen had chosen Mr.. Pryseley
TO attend the English parliament as
the representative Of Calais and that
he had made certain arrangements
about his passage into England.
One Thomas Boyd was elected as his
colleague. and Calais continued to send
NJ. P.'s to Westminster until, in the
reign Of Mary, we lost the stronghold
we had held for over two centuries.
This is the only instance in Englands
history Of anything like colonial rep
resentation at Westminster unless in
deed we reckon one or two exceptional
occasions when colonial grievances
have been voiced at the bar OF the
house Of commons, as they were so
brilliantly by Benjamin Franklin,
when Burke said the scene reminded
him Of "a master examined by par
eel of schoolboys. London News.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-10-10
Twain and the Rivern1en.

Mark Twain once told to a party Of
friends the following story on himself:
On one occasion when he started on
a trip down the Mississippi river on u
fiatboat he was advised never to an
swer the questions asked by rivermen
on other boats and never to handy
words with them, as he would be sure
always to come out second best. He
followed the advice religiously for a
time, but one day he thought he saw
a chance to get the better Of a river
man who called out:
"Hey, thar. what yer loaded withT
"Jackasses. Don't you want to come
aboard% yelled back Twain.
That's whit reckoned seem as
how they let Their biggest donkey hev
Their run of the deck" came back.
Twain made a dive below as all the
rivermeD in the neighborhood set up a
derisive laugh at his expense.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-10-10
The inexpensive Policeman.

Mr.. Walter Seymour who writes
ups and Downs Of a Wandering
Life" had Thorold Rogers for tutor
while at oxford. Rogers was as
amusing as he was heterodox. Il re-
member asking him one day. Mr.. Rog-
ers, what 10 you consider the origin of
the idea Of the devidT Cheapest po-
lceman they could fndr"
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-10-10
circumstantial Evidence.

Even the clearest and most perfect
circumstantial evidence is likely to be
at fault, after all, and therefore ought
to be received with great caution.
Take the case of any pencil sharpened
by any woman. If you have witnesses
you will find she did 1t with a knife,
but If you take simply the aspect OF
the pencil you will say she did 1t with
her teeth.-Mark Twain.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-10-10
Iii, in time Of sudden mishap or &C

1t is in time OF sudden mishap or &C
cident that Chamberlain's Eminent
can be relied upon to take the place Of
the family doctor, who cannot always
be found at the moment. Then it is
that Chamberlain's Liniment is never
found wanting. I'm cases OF sprains.
cuts, wounds and bruises Chamberlain s
Liniment takes out the soreness and
drives away the pain. Sold by w. F.
Creighton and Richard Gibson.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-10-10
Ultra Practical.

IT notice." said a husband who was
reading a lengthy letter which bis
wife had written and had handed to
him for perusal, that you have made
stupid mistake. You have written
mirage instead of marriage
EITHER will do" replied the lady.
''They both signify an illusion"
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-10-10

Hoarseness in child subject to
Group is a sure indication OF the APP
proach OF the disease. II Chamber
laln's Cough Remedy is given at once
or even after the croupy cough has APP
peared, it will prevent the attack. Con-
tains no poison. Sold by W. f.. orsigh-
ton and Richard Gibson. ,sx,s
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-10-10
a Mistake.

Applicant For Situation-Ive come
abaht that job wot wos advertised.
Employer-Well. can you do the work?
Applicant lin great alarm-Work! l
thought it was foreman you wanted!
Punch
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-10-10
TaL;no Hsr 70 Task.

Mrs. Plymouth Rockies, we are
very proud Of the fact that our an
cestors came over in the Mayfower.
Mrs. Many Rocks (severely)-In the
first cabin ?-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-10-10
Painfully Frank.

Miss Oldgirl-Here are some new
pictures.I had taken, but they are per-
feet rights. The photographer l went
to is no fatterer. Miss Pert-No, but
he is observation-disclosures Amer
lean
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-10-10
Sure Thinq.

$50 Jack and Tom proposed last
night. Which did you acceptT'
"Why, my dear, ] was so excited
can't remember. But whichever calls
tonight snust be the one."-SpokaDe
Spokesman-Review.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-10-10
His Penalty.

Geraldine-What did pa say when
you asked him for my hand? Gerald
BE said that he wouldn't stand In the
way Of my unhappiness if needed the
money badly.-New York Press.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-10-10

We sell Hess, Regal, Walk-oYer,
Brockton and Taylor made fine shoes
for gentlemen. ]. II. Marshall &
Bro, 400 King street.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-10-10
No Escape.

Bella-I understand your sister mar
ried a struggling young man? Gus
Yes; he struggled hard. but he couldn't
get away from her.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-10-10
Maryland Delaware and Vir-
qinia Railway Company.

SPRING SCHEDULE.
Steamers OF this line leave Alexandra
on and after May ID, 1910,
Every MONDAY, WEDNESDAY and
SATURDAY at 4.30 p. M.
FOR BALTIMORE AND ALL THE
USUAL RIVER LANDINGS.
Cuisine and appointments unexceilea.
Freight for Baltimore, Philadelphia
and New York solicited and handled
with care. Through rates and bills oil
lading issued.
Single fare to Baltimore, $3.50; round
trip. $3.50; staterooms, one way, Sl.oO
Meals, soc.
REARDON & GRIMES, Agents,
Foot of Cameron street.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-10-10

There are many religions, but there
is only one morality. -Ruskin'
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-10-10
Greatly Reduced Fares

Greatly Ktuuctu FdTes
Via Southern Railway from Washington,
d. c., and principal Virginia points 70
New Orleans, La, October IL, II and ID,
account national championship games
A. u. OF America; final return limit
October 20, 1910. Call on nearest agent
or write l.. S. Brown, General Agent,
7o5 Fifteenth street northwest, wash
IN oton, d. c., for full particulars.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-10-10

Oh, lifei An age to the miserable, Q
moment to the happy. Bacon.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-10-10
DIRECTORS

r p..,, Iobn D. Robinson Thomas Fannon - T+on
- Field Henry Baader, George French j. N W. A
The Washington times., 1910-01-03
WILL INVESTIGATE
The BURLEY TRUST
Great Tobacco Society to Be
Defendant in Wide
spread Suit.

One Of the most important and un-
usual proceedings ever brought under
the sherman antitrust act. is 10 Be
started IN the near future. against the
Burley Tobacco Society, FOR the pur-
pose Of having that powerful orSs1i-
zatiou Of producers declared consDir-
acy IN restraint Of interstate trade.
The department Is convinced that the
Burley society IS a conspiracy IN viola
tiOn CT the Sherman act and-can be SUD
pressed Both civil and criminal pro-
ceedinss are understood 70 be practical
y determined upon
For the reason that the BurIey society
includes thousands Of members. Iargelv
tobacco. farmers and that their interests
ara scattered over several States the
proceedings vii be OF unique interest
Their poIlucs.- effect, L Is recognized. IS
likely 10 be widespread
II Is claimed thar the organization has
been absolutely necessary 90 the ETCR-
erS Of this tobacco because OF the
policy OF the American Tobacco Com
paDT. which. the growers charge has
systematically depressed prices 70 the
lowest living point
The growers have found Justification
for their course IN the ClsiTa that the
Tobacco Company has persistentIv cut
down its price % them while making
no reduction in the price OF its products
made from the BuTleE tobacco.
L is said that some seuss tfo0aT al
legations viii be made when the petition
Is fled probably IN the sixth circuit
court at Cincinnati, for the dissolution
Of the association
The Washington times., 1910-01-03
Paulham Arrives

NEW YORK. Jan 3.-Louiz PzulHz7
the twenty-six-year-o French aytato-
who in nine month mas bounded into
worldwide faZ1e f-ym the position Of q
S15-a-waek track c. ivc- IN the Voiefr
factories, Paris, arrived here today on the
French steamer La Bretagne, acconpan-
led by his wife. They leave tomorrow
for Los Angeles, where Paulhan will
compete IN the tournament Of aeronauts-
Paui1au vs. -~rved with papers ac-
CUsi1g him Of infringement Of the pat
en-s of the Wright brothers soon after
no arrived here
The papers are designed TO restra IN
him from using the warpinE wing de-
vices and other features Of the aero
plane. which the Wright brothers claim
are covered - their patents
PaUlhau viii have TO appear LOB court
before he can 20 10 Los Angelo To fy.
The French aviator, VINO IS tie most
Spectacular cl0ud-jumper ana tie most
daring air-acrpDat OF the day. VII prob
baby remain IN America for ten OF
fifteen tournaments after ne finishes his
work in Los Angeles. according 10 his
mana ger, Edwin CleaUy-
81 have seen the Wright brothers per
form IN Paris, Paulhan declared.
They are remarkable men and we
French aviatOTs all take or our hats
20 them"
The Frenchman holds the record Of
1870 feet for the loftieSt fight in an
airshiD- made at Chalon- In the ten
DAYS tournament at Los Angeles he viii
make from twelve TO twenty-five fights
lie brings with him four machines
Two are FaTUaD h.DiaDeS for high as
tensions and two are BIeriots. Nos. 75
am sLLla 10, 52-horsepower machines, for
PauIhan declared that in a few years
ne VIII be able to make fight across the
Atlantic in an aITshfp.
The Washington times., 1910-01-03
SOCIETY
TO SEE COOK RECORDS
Research Committee viii Co Over Data Which Are
Expected by Last of Week and Render an
American Verdict

ords was granted by the University OF
Copenhagen as a courtesy TO the Ma
uonaI Geographic Society after the
American organization had pointed out
the deSirability Of having the BROOKLYN
explorers claims passed on bv com
petent scientific body in this couutrv
The suggestion appeared 10 the Copeu-
hagen authorities as reasonable mas
much as not a few Americans still
stuck 70 their early faith IN Cook s
pretenSlonS- and arrangements were
made as soon as the report Of the Co
penhagen cOnSiStOry was made public
10 turn the Cook data over to the local
organization According to info-ns-
tiOn received by Prof Gore. the rec
Oros were mailed on q steamship which
left the Danish capital on December
p. which would bring them to this city
br the end OF this week
Inc report Of the research committee
III be made public as early in Jauu-
-ry as possible Inasmuch as the Co
penh7Een authorities required but
short time 10 c 1mplete this same task
u Is TOT thought il will take a longer
time here
The Washington times., 1910-01-03

Before the end Of this Teek the Na-
tienaI Geographic Society expects to
receive from the University OF Copen-
hagen the records submitted to that
institution by Dr. Frederick A Cook
and which subsequently were declared
by its >consis-ory to be insufficient TO
establish the Brooklyn explorers claim
10 having reached the North Pole.
The Cook records wiI be examined
by the research committee OF the Geo
graphic Society, and a report viii be
made as 70 whether any further Gre
dence should be put in DIT. Cooks
cla;ims- IN short, the judgment of
the research Committee, which is com
posed Of Prof. J. Howard Gore. Rear
Admiral Pilis5ury. l. s. y. and Dr..
W N Hayes. Of the Geological S.
vey. will he accepted bv the member
ship Of the society. numbering ahoIJ
80 go persons. as final
Permission to Examine the Cook rec
The Washington times., 1910-01-03
SECURING COUNTRY
FOR MISSING GIRL
Detectives Hope to Find Ro-
berta de Janon and Com
paniOn Near Lancaster.

PHILADELPHIA. Pa. Jan 3.-S0u--
red on BY the urgent demands Of Rob 1T
buisr. the millionaire grandfather CT
Roberta BUist de Jauon. the slxuaeu-
year-old heiress, who is believed to have
either eioped with or been abducted BY
Frederlck Cohen, a hotel waiter, detec-
uvss are today spreading a draC-net
over Lancaster and the Surrounding
country in an effort 20 ruu down s5e
missing pair
They declare they are confident Of. zp-
pretending them before nIEhtfaIL While
they have no direct information rezard-
ing the present whereabouts OF the
missing girl. they declare thsv have
every reason 70 believe that the man
and girl are hiding IN The suburbs of
Lancaster.
II became known here, however, that
there Is a difference Of opinion between
the detectives Of this city and the F47fs-
family over the value OF the Lancaster
clues Several Of the sIeuths were ready
70 give Up the search today but when
this Information was transmitted 70
M Bulst re expressed violent dfsap-
FTIFat against such action declaring
that he believed that the deterffy-eS
and that II the city detectives would moi
continue the chase along the lines
started Plnkertous would be rushed ID
take up the pursuit
Timothy O'Leary, assistant superfrfen-
dent Of police OF this CITY, today made
the following statement
We have not the slightest idea where
Cohen and the girl are, ny DO we know
that there IS any mysterious woman ac-
CompauyiuE them
50 completely has Cohen covered I'd
his trail that our men nave not been
able 20 pick Up any information sub
StanJlsL enough 10 make a good work
Ing clue.
C-Leary declared that he IS Of the
opinion that the couple have gone TO
New York. where Coneu l. well ac-
Cuaiuted. and believes that the EirI is
hidden away IN some secluded spOt in
The Washington times., 1910-01-03

IN ceremony enshrouded bv tradf-
ton and notable for its Impressive1eSs
Horace n Lu-yon was TO-DAY invested
with The robes % Office rs an ASsorf-
ate Justice Of the Supreme Court of -r.
United States
me zoslrlly small court room Of the
highest tribunal was crowded 20 its =.
most limit t1 witness the ceremony. .b-i-~
but impressive At noon precisely. the
c-ier announcued 'the ho1orabIe the
Chief Justice and Associate Justices Of
the Supreme Court q the United
states as Marshal Virgin appeared at
the door. leading the file Of justices. The
chief Justice ar the head, and the other
members following IN order of their
seniority, with the new justice at the
end Of the file
With measured step. the justices took
their seats while the crier pronounced
the time-horore5 admouitIon-'sJye
Oyer All persons having business with
the Supreme Court Of the United States
are admoUished 10 draw near and give
rheir attention. Eo- the court = now So
ting. God save the United States and
this honorable court Judge Lurton
took a chair in font or the bar. just
beside the little desk o. Clerk OF the
Court James H NcEenney-
Called to Bar.
Then Chief Justice Fuller leaned for
ward and announced that Horace H
Isurtou was present. having been az
pointed an associate justice OF the
Supreme Court OF the United States
and was ready 70 take the oath. The
clerk was directed 10 spread his com
mission on the records. and 20 admins
ter the oath
Immediately the court and all spec
tators rose 10 their feet, as Judge E.ur-
ton turned to face the bar and clerk
NCKenney and repeated the impressive
sentences prescribed IN the ConStftu-
ton The Chief Justice spoke the oath.
and after each phrase, Judge Lurton
repeated IL after him. until the sub
scr5ptiou. 50 help ne Cod which he
spoke alone. just before he kissed the
open Bible i1 the clerks hands
Prior 70 this the new Justice had al
ready sworn 10 the same oath in the
privacy Of the court robing room, IN
the rsese1Ce Of his cuuea cues the
Chief Justice administering IT,
The ceremony Of the public oath ray-
ing been concluded, Marshal Wright
marched 10 the clerks desk. and with
a slow step conducted the new 7-stire
20 his seat on The be1Ch-the seat fur
thest on the left Of the Chief Justice
All Standing.
All this time the court and all spec-
tatOrs had remained standing. Rr,t
when Justice LurtoH was at his uIsce
the Chief Justice nodded. and the
eight members Of the tribunal took
their seats, the spectators following
suit
Justice Day. who has the seat next
to the left Of Justice Lurton. leaned
over and shook the hand OF his new
colleague in warm ConEra tuIatiOn. J11s-
-iCe AICKeDua. one further removed
smiled his greetings
The court then proceeded with its
usual Monday business, the rendering
n opinions
Save Justice Moody, all Of the mem
leTS Of the court were present he IS
ID at his home at HaverhiI Mass
but IS expected to return to Washing
ION within the next few weeks.
The Washington times., 1910-01-03
OF SNOW
DUE IN NEAR FUTURE
Weather Man Not Certain But Expects Some SIiobtI
Lower Temperatures to Be Waited Ia
From the Middle West

About the only sure thing in Wash
inEtOn weather is its variety. And a
change is about due
4 little colder tomorrow and maybe
a little rain or a little snow. Which
Is rather indefinite and the weather
man admits all that
But II this weather is trying 70 the
dear public. what must II be 20 the
weather MANI
That's the rub. says he. and what IS
poor weather man TO do but hedge
when the weather Is Ike Joe Cantfllon's s
choice Of pitchers and never makes up
its mind about what IL IS going to do
until il IS time n do IL
Suspicious Of coming trouble we're
aroused up at the Weather Bureau by a
cold wave that was uncorked IN kan
The Washington times., 1910-01-03
PORT COLLECTOR OUT.

LNIINGTON- Del Jan G-DavId
: Clark. collector Of the port of VII
mington. has withdrawn as a candi-
date for reappOiutmeut- IL IS under
stood as the result Of a letter received
from President Taft Although Clark
was supported by Senator's Dupont and
Richardson and Representative Head
ne was opposed by the Civil Service
Commission on the grounds. IF perni-
cioUs political activity. and the Presi-
dent. IL Is said. gave him a hint 70
retire as a candidate.
The Washington times., 1910-01-03

sas and spread all over the Middle vves-
''oay- In sections there was = fiz-h-
snow out not enough 10 amount to any
lAlhS ana In the Ohio valley the snow
was converted into rain.
% the way he figures it out for Wash
-l-st9h' barring Unforeseen accidents
which always happen 10 nur weather
IS that this gentle little wave vzbi,1,
might better be termed A ripnIe. ~
blow gently over the city tomorrow and
leave a little moisture
By Wednesday he expects the tenper-
ature VIII take decided faH though il
VIII not cuddle quite so rear the IffIo
round puib as y Gid at Christmas time.
Tonight Z viii get z-aGuaIIv Va me
by the way of holding out an iuyffa-
ton for the cold wave TO sweep in in
its best style
AL this is subject TO change.
The Washington times., 1910-01-03
IMPRESSIVE SCENE
AT NOON HOUR
Clerk James H, McKenney in
Charge Of Induction at
Capitol.
OATH SWORN TO
BY NEW JUSTICE

81 soIemnIy swear that viii
support and defend the ConStItu-
tion Of the United States against
all enemies, foreign and domestic;
TINT I viii bear true faith and al
leEianee to the ssmeg that I take
this obligation freely. without any
mental reservation or purpose of
evasion, and that ! viii well and
faithfully discharge the duties of
the office on which am about TO
enter so help me Goss.v
The Washington times., 1910-01-03
FATHER PITTAR
REPORTED BETTER

The condition OF the Rev. Father PIT
tar. Of St Aloysius' Church. who has
been i'll for the past week. was reported
as being improved at the Georgetovn
University Hospital today.
Father PiJtar has been rather danger
0Usly sick with threatened attack Of
pieuro-pne eumonia. but the hosDirsI
physicians nGw express confidence in his
early recovery His cO1dition mas oc-
casiOued considerable anxiety through
out the St AIOysiUs parish.
The Washington times., 1910-01-03
IS FAVORITE
IN RACE FOR SENATE
Will Be Nominated by Mississippi
Legislature, His Friends
Declare.

WEST POINT. Miss. Jan. 2-CoI.
Arthur f Randle will be nominated
for United States Senator when the
Legislature meets. il is believed.
His friends are strong and numerous
all over the state and his election is
predicted If ne consents to e0ter the
race
The only statement he has mada N
connection with the senatOTship is !
am rot ready 70 announce my canc :
The Washington times., 1910-01-03
TWO MURDERES DIE
IN ELECTRIC CHAIR
Less Than Ten Minutes Taken for
Both Executions in OSsining,
New York.

DSSINING, y Y. Jan LESS than
ten minutes was required 70 shock 10
death tWo mUrderers in the electric
chair in Sing Sing prison today
They were William Morse. who shot
and killed Policeman Edward J Kava-
ma ugh in Brooklyn, on October "a 1877
and John BaThuto. an Italian. who muir
dered Gaeteno F'inizia in AIiddlefouu
y Y. on January %, 1909