davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-06
Und Colt.

The story is told of pompous young
lieutenant, who, parading in full uni
form and approaching a sentry, was
challenged with the words:
Halt Who goes there %
Ass was the contemDtuous reply.
Advance, ass. and give the counter
sign"
That seems to be about the way the
German people feel toward their dear
ly beloved and much INDUCED kaiser.
Only the kaiser announces himself, and
gives the countersign in one and the
same breath. Ass" is all that is need
ed. Advance, ass. and get what is
coming to you,'' say the German peo-
pie with one voice and the harmonious
accord.
Himself und Gotti It's an old habit
of the kaiser, but it was thought that
a right smart experience of two years
ago would induce him to keep the
partnership q little more in the back
ground. Hopeless assumption. Will
helm not only crowns himself with his
own crown, but, despising the weak
ness of a Louis XIV. who had a Bos-
suet to help him, crowns himself with
his own philosophy.
And they called King James of Eng
land who couldn't get over the habit,
"the wisest fool in Europe" What
shall they call the kaiser ?''-New York
Globe
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-06
JAYHAWKER JOTS

The Salina Military band is a dead
one. "OId age and disability are
given as the causes for it's death.
Combining business with pleasure a
Baldwin grocer advertised recently:
1.-The baby has arrived and so have
the new goods you wanted. Prices al
ways right"
The parole of Jessie Morrison caused
"intense excitement" in Butler county,
it is said. Butler needed something of
this sort to stir it up, comments the
Hutchinson, News.
Jessie Morrison's statement that she
is very happy as a result of her re-
lease from prison, says the Leaven-
worth Times, opens a new road to the
land of contentment. Go to prison.
and get released.
A man in Atchison was arrested for
kicking to pieces a Autograph picture
in front of a moving picture theater:
He gave as his excuse as being tired OF
Indian shows. The picture was label
ed "the Mohawk's Revenge"
A Salina strawberry patch is now
producing ripe berries. The Hutchin-
son Gazette thinks it possibly has been
deceived in the season by the warmth
of the fight the Journal is waging
against the water company.
Emporia has a citizen named Joe
Clever and if there was anything in
a name he would assuredly be editor
in-chieflets of the Gazette. but he
isn't This is not an insinuation that
Mr.. Clever is not as clever as his name.
The editor of the Lawrence World
believes that he is a remarkable man,
having spent two weeks in the noun
tains without RECALLING the readers OF
the paper with an account of his trip.
HAYS City is to have a Carnegie Ii
brary building. The plans for the
structure have arrived and bids for the
contract will be received soon.
AS related by the Hutchinson Ga
zette: A pretty Wichita widow wished
for romance and she foun2 it. Last
week she married a prince charming
who hailed from nowhere in parttc-
ular and the only thing that prevents
them from living happy ever afterward
is the fact that the man is now in
jail awaiting trial for defrauding his
wife out of all her savings.
"Dadai" Sweeter sound than music
on a moonlit lake. "Dada!' How
precious are the little lips and pratt
Ting tongue that form the simple word
"Dadai" How lonesome would the
old house be without that loving in
FAINT call "Dada!" How much faith
and confidence he bestows upon his
doting parent, when with chubby out
stretched arms Billiken calls his baby
welcome. How much happiness those
have missed who have never heard
the mellow music of baby laughter,
and telC the sou careSSeS OF dlInpIeu
cheeks and clinging arms. I pray con-
stantly that 1 may be strong enough
to guide to manhood safe and sound
those precious ones entrusted to my
care, and may the lingering love that
lies in baby's eyes stay with me to
the end and when the evening shad-
ows fall, and dull grey ashes rest
where once the fire was warm and
bright, sweet memory of the golden
past when "DadaH sounded through
the house its echoes clinging around
my aged heart will cheer me with the
hope that such love and confidence as
this is harbinger of life and love be-
Yond the stars.=Cleburne Enterprise.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-06
GLOBE SIGHTS.

From the Atchison Globe
Some men don't mind being caught in
lie.
We want as little as possible to do with
the onion.
Don't expect to have friends and your
own way at the same time.
You can get a good idea how fast
habit or automobile Is going by trying
to stop 1t suddenly.
Ever go home late at night that. you
did not pick out two or three ideal places
for hold-up men?
Reform in this country seems to amount
to this: Abuse of good citizens and
steady increase in taxes.
When a man is grumbling, he says lit
happens that way EVERY time" although
the wrong he is grumbling about may be
the first.
They say of an Atchison man that the
is when he is telling where to place the
blame.
Men from the old country are always
wondering at the liberties enjoyed here
by the women; in the old country, women
get what's left.
The man in Jail gets lot of sympathy
he wouldn't have received had he behaved
himself And he probably Wouldnt nave
needed it in that case.
You needn't worry about my not being
punished for my SINS a man said TO his
pastor; indeed, 1 sometimes think get
more than is justly coming to me-"
The Town Bad Man said recently: Il
have been mean as all the world knows,
but never induced a woman TO get ready
Actors are pretty apt to judge a town
by the way it patronizes his show But
there is a good deal of that sort of selfish
ness in the opinions Of others than actors.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-06
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.


IFrom the Chicago News.]
The high roller doesn't always roll in
wealth
An average man never gets more than
average pay.
Even a liar may be given credit for be-
ing a busy person.
It takes smart man to make money out
of his own failures.
Some people waste a lot of good bait
fishing for compliments.
The good you do often lasts long enough
for the world to forget it.
One kind of an economist is able to
make a little work go a long way.
Many a mans success leaves a bitter
taste in the mouths of his associates.
Anyway, the owner of an airship may
be able to keep up with the cost of living.
Truth may be stranger than fiction, but
fiction always makes grand-stand fin
ish
Try to get ahead-but don't strive to get
into the blockhead, sorehead or deadhead
class.
After a man talks to you ten minutes
you can always judge what kind of a
story it is safe to tell him.
A poor girl has to be awfdlly good look
ing to be pretty, and rich girl has to be
ALFRED homely to be ugly.
If a man succeeds in making a little
money in a small town, he imagines that
he could have made millions in a large
city,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-06
THE FIRST BRIDAL.

This is the old world-wonder
And this is the mystery;
When the Lord of the Great Amphora
Poured forth the Wind and the Sea.
The streams that parted asunder,
They were myself and me!
We were the First, the Beginning.
The elements twain of the world
Ere the stars looked forth from the Dark
ness,
Or the hills from the deeps were up
hurledi
Before the uttermost Daybreak
Together we drew and whirled.
In a passion of hunger and yearning,
In the Tnists of the world to be;
When the cry of the Wind in its wan
dering
Answered the call of the Sea.
And we chung in that first embracing
In the dawn of Eternity!
Is 1t then great the wonder,
The bond 'twixt thee and me
One from the far Beginning?
How could it otherwise be,
Since thou are the Wind, beloved,
And I am thy bride-the Sea!
M. E. Butler, in the New York Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-06

house on Middle street. Late at night
when those young men crowded Main
street many of them, it is true, were
under the influence of liquor; they
passed up and down, and there was
very little disturbance. Many residents
who were out late were bumped into
by those sailor boys who had not
gained the confidence to move on shore
without a list either to starboard or
larboard. On those occasions did the
sailors abuse the citizens or attempt
any "eat 'em alive tactics?'' Not for a
moment. In every case the sailor with
dignity beyond his "soused condition"
stopped in his tracks. steadied himself,
took hitch in his waistband and apo1-
ogized in a becoming manner. Take a
crowd OF collegians sweeping along the
street or attending the theater after
football. baseball, or aquatic victory
and note the difference. There is no
need of saying anything further CT
drawing a deadly parallel. The con-
duct of the two classes, when COM
pared, would measure up to the eX-
IRENE credit of the Jackie. '-Glouces-
ter Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-06
Hat-Tip Trust,

The hat-tip trust?' Yea, verify; even
so. The coatroom-tip business is as
highly organized as any of which the
public is aware. With two or three
exceptions, all the largest hotels and
restaurants in New York. for example,
farm out the courtroom privilege"
to the hat-tip trust. This trust is en-
bodied in an elusive, reticent little man
with an office near the Great White
Way" He pays the innkeepers we'll for
the privilege, hires the hat boys. and
pays their wages. They surrender all
their tips to the trusts Captain"
But how can the trust be sure OF
getting all the money?
That is easy, he has no trouble at
all. He may lose a few dimes a day
on boy, but the boy cannot keep it
up. 1t is not half so easy beating this
ductor Con a car of the ordinary type)
to KNOCK down" fares with his car
full of spoilers.
In the first place. the exploiter of
tips furnishes the uniforms. He charges
his employees only 81 a month for
wearing them. They are made to his
special order, and there is not a pocket
in them. That fancy gold braid you
see where pockets ought to be is only
a gilded pretense. There is no pocket
there. But the boys used to beat that.
They used to slip an occasional dime
inside their collars, and allow it to
work it's way down inside. But the
trust boss stopped all that. He makes
them wear knee-length running trunks.
Now they are all honest They turn
over every cent to the captain as soon
as it is handed them. They get Sc
collecting the tips from the patrons of
the houses where he works them
Frederick L. Long, in Harper's Week
ly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-06
QUAKER MEDITATTONS.

[From the Philadelphia Record1
The palmy days-the time of parental
spankings
All men are born equal, but they soon
get over it.
Women have no sense of humor, unless
it is in their choice of husbands.
When girl understands a man would
you say that he was misunderstood?
Many a photographer hasn't sense
enough to take an umbrella when it is
cloudy.
The girl who is as pretty as a picture
should never be in an ugly frame of mind.
1t is almost as hard for woman to
pick out a good cantaloupe as good
husband.
Many man with brains hasn't common
sense enough to use them in the right
direction.
Tell girl she has a pretty nose and she
will become cross-eyed from constantly
looking at it.
Tommy-'Pop. what is a paradox"
Tommy'S Pop-'Wen, my son, secret
society composed of women would be a
paradox"
I'VE live and learn" quoted the Wise
Guy. That's right assented the Simple
Mug. Until went to live in boarding
house 1 never knew there were so many
stewed prunes in the world"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-06
HUNOR OF THE DAY

Pop, what is the lull before the storm %
The honeymoon, my son.'-BostOn
Transcript
Mrs. Jackson-Mrs. Gabber is always
busy. Mrs. Johnson-Yes, when she isn't
running up bills she is running down
neighbors.-Boston Record.
Would. you like a fine family cow"
t THAT thing? She cant give more than
git right in front of an auto, an she's
good for 800 damages a season to any
family. Judge.
Young Wife Din a passion)-Pm going
home to my mother! Husband Calmly
Very good; here's money for your railway
isn't enough for a return ticket.-Every
Woman's Magazine.
Now, Tommie" said the teacher, you
may give me an example of coin
cidence." Why-er," said Tomnlie. with
me mudder was both carried on de same
day. "-Harper's Weekly.
My ancestors came over in the May
flower" That's nothing; my father
descended from an aeroplane."-Life.
Il don't think your man viii win the
man-popular and all that" Good. Oh,
yes. But when was he ever shot at?'-
Philadelphia Ledger.
IF I were you. said the doctor I
should give up eating meat. Taint
enough in the bank to pay your bill with
out having to economic that way."-De-
troit Free Press.
condition asked for food at the kitchen OF
a home in California. You like fish,"
the tramp eagerly. ''Ail lite: come abound
Friday"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-06

hastened home to his boarding house,
swallowed his supper. and then with
lovers carefulness. made himself i'm
maculate. He would go and see her.
But it was not until he was starting
that he remembered he did not know
exactly where she lived. He had been
keeping away from her, avoiding
mention of her, and here he was I'M
able to find heri All he knew was
what he knew from her-he asked
her how she stood the heat downtown
one September day of unreasonable
heat and she had answered simply:
m not downtown don't work
stay at home.'s
OF course she was pampered
child; her appearance told him that.
He had heard, he could not have said
where that she had no mother, and
lived with her father and several sis
ters-he never saw the sisters-old
maids who made business of petting
her no doubt. He wondered if they
would object to him, whether he could
convince them he would be tender
with her? And all this before he had
once called upon the grill
Finally he went to a drug store
directory and found her street and
number.
And in the dusk of a warm Octo-
Der evening he found the little street
and the little cottage where she lived.
He saw no light, but he went up the
winding path through the deep, tree
guarded yard and to the small, sim
pie dwelling.
Sitting alone on the small porch, he
was aware of her, and that she arose
and came toward him, timidly, until
she saw who it was.
''You!' she breathed in a tone soft
as caress, while he took her hand,
and stood holding it though she
would have withdrawn it.
Yes, T." he replied in a tense
voice. :Lois, I can't wait to say it
prettily and work up to it-but I've
been in torment since the first minute
I met you, because love you so,
Loisl Can't you see that I've loved
myself to come near you for fear my
heart would come out of me and drop
to your handi That first time 1 danced
with you I came near telling you I'd
give my soul just to kiss you once
bit my tongue and managed to keep
still! Now, girl girl, could you marry
me-could you trust me to take care
of you? I won't let the wind blow
on you even. if you will give me my
chancei"
He paused, breathless, because
wonder of wonders, she was listening,
and her gentle head was very near
his shoulder-so near that he put his
hand behind it and brought it close.
And then he stopped and kissed her,
and he knew that her cheek was wet
with tears
Dear" he. said what is it? Why
are you crying?" and then she
laughed and wiped her eyes but her
hands chung to him.
I'm laughing because you should
think I need so much coddling-a girl
who does all the work for a father
and three little sisters! Father is go
ing to marry again, and they're wild
for a new mother-but I'm noti'
Here she paused, but he remembered
the tears.
But why were you crying? Tell
me-" But she was shy about it.
well" she finally said, "since you
must know i'll was glad. I had
begun to think -might-never-
ask mel"
And then the happy lover laughed
and held the girl very close.-(Copy-
righted 1910 by Associated Literary
Press.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-06
Wen-Rchaved Americans

Here were over 1000 men, dumped
ashore in a small community, parading
the principal street, where every one
had an opportunity to witness their
maneuvers. Were any women or girls
1nsulted during their stay here? If
they were, the fact was concealed in
good shape. That many men could land
in Boston or some other large city and
be completely swallowed up. They
would not leave an impression that
would be felt in the slightest degree.
Did any of the sailors commit any ma
licious acts, injure property to any ap-
preciable extent? No such matters
have been reported to the police if they
happened. 1t was the night before the
sailors arrived that the library was
burglarized and injury done to the
revolutionary house and the Burnham
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-06
JOURNAL ENTRIES

This is also that blessed season of
the year when parodies on Maud Null
Ter are out Of date.
The henpecked man gets altogether
too much sympathy. He's a weakling
or he wouldn't be henpecked.
It's generally the case that the peo-
pie who worry most about burglars
have little or nothing in their pos
session worth stealing.
4
If the first is to be last in the
hereafter, the minister will be in hard
luck when he is invited out to a chick
en- dinner.
= y
Not much ability is required to write
out a check for a goodly sum of
money, but many of the smartest of
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-06
KANSAS COMNENT
OLD EZRA MEEKER.

do anything so foolish and trihng that
certain newspapers won't encourage
and praise him. Old Ezra Meeker, who
has been infesting this part of the
country every summer for several
years. and who should be jailed on
charge of vagrancy, is at it again, and
some of the newspapers speak of his
Great Work, and express the opinion
that people should cough up some of
the money they have earned by sensi-
BILE industry, and give it to Meeker, in
order that he may chase his OK team
up and down the country. If we must
pass the hat, let us do it for people at
home who deserve the money.-Emporfa
Gazette
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-06
Not the Same.

Mother queried the pretty daugh-
ter, did father have his salary in
creased when he married your
mo, dear" answered the mother.
How much was he getting?"
"OnIy SO a week.
But I suppose he had a lot of mon
ey saved up, didn't hep"
Not a dollar; he spent his money
as fast as he earned it,
did you get along comfortably"
Yes; and we were very happy"
''Well, mother, you know dear George
hasn't been able to save cent, but
''See here, young lady, if that pow
erty-stricken dude dares show his face
around here again I'll get your father
to kick him into the middle of next
week.'-Chtcago News
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-06
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
TFrom the New York Press.l

TFrom the New York Press
One thing a girl can educate herself in
is flirting.
Women suffer because they are good
enough to.
In marriage a man learns a lot that is
good for him, and a woman that isn't
for her.
What affects a mans Judgment is not
so much what he knows as what he
doesn't know. but he never can see it.
In theory people want to help others
in practice they try to help themselves
to all that others have
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-06
A FUNERAL FOR HIM.

The izickers on the farm are not so
hard TO get along with as the kickers
in church affairs. On the farm there S
the kicking cow and our long cared
friend, the mule: while in church af-
fairs there's the cheap saint and
crouch who want free seat for the
whole family without paying one pen
ny towards the ministers salary. The
COW may be sold for beef, the mule
traded for a shot gun, but nothing ex-
cept funeral VIII get rid of the
chronic grunter in church affairs
Nortonville Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-06

When the census of 1850 was taken,
san Antonio-the old town of the
Alamo-had 3,4Ss people and in 1900 it
had 53.321; now it has 1854. In respect
of population it heads the procession
of Texas cities, and is in the first half
hundred Of Uncle Sans cities.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-06
Stones.

Glass and commodity freight rates
have been reduced from % to 25 per
cent in Oklahoma-but the reduction
has been made by the state corpora
tion commission.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-06

ditions and state laws. Some of the
people in the western counties have be-
come more or less clamorous to be set
off in a new state by themselves, and
the Ell Paso Times says it has been ad-
vocating such a separation these TWEEN
ty wears mast
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-06

Frank Rockefeller of Russell was
advised some years ago by his distin-
guished relative, John D., to go West.
Mr.. Rockefeller took the advice and
prospered. Now he wants to go east
to Washington. And he thinks the
people of the Sixth Kansas congress
sional district are of a mind to send
him. They might do worse.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-06

Professor Harry Thurston Peck
more expert in Latin than in love, has
lost his job on the faculty of Columbia
university. And it is all because a
young lady has sued him for breach of
promise. Professor Peck will do we'll
to write all his love letters of the flu
4yrre in latin
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-06

Score a big mark for the Los An
geles police. They have captured
launch which is supposed to have been
used to carry the dynamite that
wrecked the Times building and killed
a score of men. Prison for life won't
be much of a hardship. however, on
fba launch
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-06
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal is a member of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report of that great news or
ganization for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka.
The news is received in The State Jour
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-06

Doubtless, it will strike some of the
more ardent Of the standpatters as
most appropriate that Senator La
Toilette should be afflicted with gall
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-06

1t would appear that the milk deal
ers in the city will have to give a
much better excuse for raising the
price Of their wares than the new city
ordinance relative to their regulation,
which, by the way, has not yet gone
into effect. City officials show that
the tax on dealers will average less
under the proposed ordinance than it
does under the one now in existence.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-06

And speaking of exaggeration, the
New York World refers to it's finding
of DR.. Cook in England as follows:
1.-THE great international mystery of
the century-the whereabouts of DR..
Frederick A. Cook-has been cleared"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-06

Topekans are now promised an
abundant water supply for the winter.
1t is in the good old summer time,
though, when they need it most.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-06

With the rebels in possession of the
royal palace of Portugal, the young
king. Manuel, ought to have an in
creasingly difficult time to get some
European princess of royal blood to
share the honors of his throne.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-06

It ought not to have been necessary
for the court of Topeka to rule that
q mother has a perfect right to ad-
minister proper and needed punish
ment to a refractory child, even if the
latter happens to be fourteen years
NJ