Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1910-02-10
N
FRIVOLOUS vein
NOTABLE GATHERING AT SILVER
DINNER GIVEN BY FAMOUS
WASHINGTON CLUB.
INSURGENTS, TRUSTS, BIG STICK
AND SECRETARY KNOX
SUSPECTS or sPorT.

year and 1t fell out that the one
given last night at the New Willard
was the silver dinner, marking the
twenty-ffth anniversary of the foun-
dation of the club. Wherefor there
was a great gathering of notables-a
president, cabinet officers, ambassa-
doris, jurists, grave and reverend
senators, frivolous representatives In
congress, and number of simple
newspaper men gathered from many
states of the union. Each and all
bore off a remembrance of the happy
event in the shape OF souvenir sill
yer ash receiver, crossed by the mys-
tic Gridiron.
The fun started almost as soon as
the guests We're seated, with tan.
gle over the Inauguration Of the new
president of the club-Scott G, Bone,
Editor of the Washington Herald;
for entering untimely upon the scene,
came Ell Presidente Zelaya, with his
army, composed of half dozen gen.
erals in Falstafflan uniforms, and one
lone private. zelaya, looking for
job, had picked out the presidenc, or
the Gridiron club was suitable, and
was elected only by the threat that
Secretary Knox was approaching.
Scarcely had peace and quiet been re-
stored when another interruption
came, when to the strains of the
Marsellaise, entered the Back from
Elba Club clad in Napoleonic uni
forms. and including personifications
OF public men who have been identr
fed by common report with the
movement to return Roosevelt to the
white house. The Big Stick figured
in this, and in the fierce glare of the
electric light and in defiance OF an
rules of secret orders, and in the
presence OF several hundred Quit
landers were dragged forth and duly
initiated the two unfortunate neo-
phytes of the Gridiron club, George
Edmund Miller, resident correspon-
dent of the Detroit News, and John
Callan O'Laughlin, of the Chicago
Tribune. They were made to fore
swear all of the policies of their re-
spective newspapers and to pledge
themselves to be on the pier to well
come The Only One when he re.
turned from Africa,-all this to the
chant of When Teddy Comes Sailing
Home Again; Hurrah!
The insurgents got their grilling
too; when between courses was rem
dered an affecting scene from Uncle
Toms Cabin, for this occasion de-
scribed as Uncle Joe's Cabin. or
Life Among the Insurgents. A pre-
sentiment of Speaker Cannon was the
clever lawyer Marks; another OF
Whip Dwight was the brutal over.
seer Legree and various prominent
insurgents figured as Uncle Tom and
his fellow slaves, and Little Eva
They were roughly treated, told that
they had been deprived of all pat
ronage, and their appeals to the
speaker to resign" were met by
demands for their, return to the re-
publican caucus. Finally put upon
the block at auction in a dubious
market, the democrats and republI-
cans alike holding off from the bid
ding, the sale was stopped by orders
from the white house in the shape or
an emancipation proclamation, in or
der to secure party harmony.
If the insurgents were grilled, the
trusts were fairly roasted in another
skit portraying the infant industries
the lumber, whisky, beef, coal and
tobacco trusts-seeking protection
from a number of ugly-looxing Gus
toners identified as The Ultimate
Consumers. This was a verse from
one of the chants of the trust mag
mates, to the air of popular song:-
oh! The ultimate consumer always
has to come to us:
Cause he hasn't any other place to
go.
He will rise in indignation; he will
make an awful russ,
Cause he hasn't any other place to
go.
why are all our guests assembled
here tonight in glad array?
why do congressman keep coming
to our city, day by day?
why did Roosevelt grab gun and
beat 1t clear to Africay?
Cause he hadn't any other place to
CO."
The new order of things in the
state department was disclosed in
skit illustrative of gathering OF
Secretary Knox and his faithful as
sistants and bureau chiefs of recenr
creation. There was an under secre-
tary and secretary of nearsighted
affairs and one of far sighted ar
fairs' and there was wonderful ex-
hibition of shirt sleeve diplomacy"
resulting in the urinary settlement
OF the Nicaraguan question and the
Chinese railroad imbroglio and other
matters that have engaged the atten-
ton OF the diplomatic branch of the
p0uarn nd - ftta ,xaaf fer,