The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-02-06

YOU had to peddle shoe strings for
living
Did that phase the man of money!
Not a iugfuI. He turned calmly and
remarked with peaceful smile:
"That's true, and if I didn't have
any more brains than you have | would
be peddling shoe strings still"
They tell another story about the
same "puto.' He gave a reception
not long ago which was attended by
all of the best people. He sat in
hlg arm chair. suffering from an at
tack of gout, and received all the high
toned folks with the AIR of king ac
cepting homage of his courtiers. One
fellow, whose family tree goes so far
down into the earth that the roots
must surely stick into China, came up
TO HIM and SAID:
My dear sir, / am sorry to know
that you have the gout. ! suffer from
the gout myself, but / think ] must
have inherited ii from my ancestors -
Same here, said the millionaire,
with irony, ''my grandfather, who had
TO 90. barefooted because he didn t
have the money TO buy shoes, stubbed
ms big toe once and we We had gout in
our family ever since
Last week Amos Smith. a bac helor
member of the house from the far west
gave a reception and invited me. Now,
YOU know / really don L care for these
things, and | felt like declining, but
Colonel Bob Smith (you know him-my
guide, friend and counselor) said I'd
have to go; that might as well be dead
rs out of fashion. / said / had no dress
suit; that ! had attended the New
Years reception at the White House
because it didn't call for any fancy
clothes, but he solved that problem
in two short words:
Hire one -
Well. that g how it ended. I hired
dress suit and went To the reception
II was a great success-tbat is the
reception was. I don t think | was
success at all, The rooms were crowded
and presently | found myself surround.
ed by three very attractive middle a ged
ladies'. They were certainly sweet be-
ings, and ! melted. / was very gra-
cious and managed to make them be-
lieve that ] was a great statesman.
That interested them very much and
one of them said:
You are man Of power. ! hope
YOU will get some legislation through
congress that will stop gambling in this
country
! assured her that such a suggestion
met with my heartiest sympathy.
said that | detested games of chance
in any form, and that if my feeble
efforts could cause reform in this direc
tion that she could count on my sup
port. II was quite warm in the room.
and reached In the back pocket of my
| dress suit for a handkerchief. ! found
| il all right, but ] found something else,
foo, As I pulled the >handk erchicf out,
| three bright playing cards huttercd
| in the air and fell upon the floor. fac
upward They were three aces-thc
ace of hearts, the acc of diamonds and
the ace of clubs The ladies gave one
| angry look AT the cards, and left me
standing there alone.
Say. Bill. | have been leased about
that accident ever since. and the worst
of it is can Z defend myself. | can Z
| tell everybody that | hired the dress
suit That would cheaper me in the
| eyes Of the members, and | can t say
the suit belonged 10 me, because if
| did that they would think ! was Il
card shark who has secreted these aces
in my coat-tail pocket for some dishon-
est purpose. So there ] hnger between
doubt and despair.
That about sizes up my social expert.
ences so far but the morcNl see of so
| ciety as society, the less ! think of my
| fellow creatures. They say spider is
proud when it has got fy. nut that
f, is nothing TO The ioy that fills the
heart of hostess down here when
she manages 10 iuvciglc some foreign
duke or count into one OF her clock
| teas.
And then the men sometimes make
YOU feel cynical. was Mt one of those
affairs where the food and wine and
cigars are served lavishiy. and where
everybody pitches in and eats and
drinks and smokes until he is sick
! just because the layout is free. A mem