davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-09-21
THE POINT OF THE JOKE.
10 Was oiMIevlt For the Ensiishsnan,
but He Finally Saw Il.

~ VIZ OeW0oW p0e S0o e00tto0sooos
but He Finally eaw Il.
a party Of Englishmen were IN Chi.
0ago Sightseeing some years ago.
They were entertained at dinner by
some Chicago Englishmen who have
lived In American long enough to have
. keen appreciation Of the American
idea Of Joke. During the evening all
the members Of the party told stories
or sung songs and entertained accord.
ing TO their several abilities.
One Of the English visitors could see
nothing funny In the stories told by
the Chicago Englishmcn. Every time
ono OF them would tell good Amer.
lean story ut which most OF the party
would laugh uproariously this particu-
lar Englishman would adjust his mon.
ocle 60 his eye and. looking wonder
ingly around the table. would remark.
Bot. ] say, I don't see anything In
that to laugh At, y knaw."
One Of the Chicago men finally re.
cited an original poem. The poem told
Of m Englshman who had come ia
America and after being In this coun.
try only q short time had died and
gone TO another and much warmer
country. Ten years passed. aud one
day an Imp passing that way heard
the Englishman laughing uproariously
"Why. what are you laughing aty'
inquired the Imp.
''Oh. Oh, oh. such funny story rs
heard In America. oh. It was SO fun.
N.Y. laughed the victim. and he held
his hands TO his sides and almost dou-
bled up with merriment.
"A story you heard! Why. you've
heard no story" said the imp. "You've
been dead ten years"
Eyes. yes. I know. I know" cried
the man. But I've Just seen the
Joke"
This poem set the table in q roar
Amid all the laughing and shouting
the obtuse visitor adjusted his mon.
ocle md Grawlcd out. But. ! say.
don't see anything funny in that. y
knnw."
"No." replied the man who had read
the poem, as quick as fash. "Of
course you don't. You haven't been
dead ten years" And even the obtuse
Englishman saw the point.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-09-21

n Did Even haers Thar the Surgeon
Nad Provided.
The train had come to stop at .
email Village. when the station master
ooooeed . ecAch and shouted:
~ls theee Z doctor on this trainr
No 60 answering. he repeated the
Inquiry wnhent veguaE Thsu . native.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-09-21
She Was No. to Blame.

A young social worker in Philadel
phia who has written Il little volume
Of essays on "I.ifa's Problems" few OF
which she has ever faced. called upon
woman the other day who Informed
her that her husband had gone off Oh
terrible spree.
ooh. am so sorry" said the social
worker. HE seemed to be doing SO
well. l can't understand it, Did he
read my book. do you Think
"Oh. no. miss" said the woman re.
assuringly. You amt got no cause to
worry. 1t wasn't that that set him
going"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-09-21
Just Stood Pat,

Talk about bein. between two fires.
Q Camden man was aroused by his
wife the other night. who said she
thought burglar was in the house
and wanted papa to 20 downstairs and
chase him. Papa promptly declined.
''Whats the matter?" scornfully ask
ed WHEY. Are you afraid:"
NO." replied the old man. replacing
his head upon the pillow. But while
I'm downstairs chasing the burglar
you'll be Soln: through my clothes. SO
it's about six In one and II half dozen
In the er."-Phi!adelphia Telegraph.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-09-21
Aar Brand.

Two Glasgow women were strong
supporters Of local cooperative
store. But one day as one OF them
WINS passing down the street she was
surprised to see her friend coming out
Of licensed grocer's shop. II thocht.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-09-21
Not Ais Bill.

Representative Gilbert NJ. Hitchcock.
who lives Mt the Connecticut apartment
house when he Is in Washington. re-
ceived letter one morning and read
Il with great surprise. 1t was a bill
for 12S parasols. Mrs. Hitchcock also
read II with surprise. not to say shock.
On looking more closely Mr.. Hitchcock
made q discovery which led him to
look at his wife with an air Of triumph
and say:
This Is easily explained. my dear.
have not been buying parasols by
the hundred. did not buy these. This
boll - made o:,t 10 Frank II. Hitchcock.
ehe postmaster general. who Is q single
nan"
Taen the CONGRESSMAN sent the bill
90 the cabinet ofiicer With this note:
This was opened nv mistake. The in
closure was END with amusement.
0tkEERT ~. HITCHCOCK.
But the reason the postmaster gen
efal had bought the bale o. rara~ois
wac that he wanted to usc them ~.
favoS 1t 4 cotillion at which &c ~.
host.-popular Msgnxane.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-09-21

school. when. observing several ch'l
dren whispering together. the teachc;
held his hand upright in warnin:
silence. on which almost the whole
school. in the midst Of the sermon.
shouted out. "i'erpindicular."' 10 the
a':,azenent Of the startled and Devil
dered bishop.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-09-21
II CAN oBLEEaE YoU."

S1N V"D"EoS 1Oos
Mrs. Broom. ye wis member o. the
cooperative company p was her re-
mark.
80 I am: but. dae ye ken this.
there's nae shop In Glesca l get sic
nice beef hAm n In here" was the
prompt reply.
Some days later Mrs. Broon's friend
went into this shop to buy sample
Of the beef ham. On entering the shop
she asked the man IL he would give
her - pun O the beef ham Mrs.
Broom gets here" A quiet smile stole
over the shopman's face. ION yes"
he said; II can obleege you. Hiv you
brocht q bottle wi you"-Glasgow
Times.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-09-21

wales ;i.',- ....-... N..y snlcu ny sigh.
The hand VI the teacher sloped signi
fics sob!ique:" the hand held dst. Thor
izontal::" the hand upright. ''perpendic
ular." One Of the Welsh bishops was
preaching one day In behalf Of the
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-09-21

Throw a way pills anu strong cathartics which
are violent in action and always have on hand
DR.. Caldwelrs Syrup Pe2sin. the guaranteed
cure for constipation and al diseases arising
.om stomach trouble.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-02-13

UNION LABOR MOST EFFICIENT
SAYS MILLIONAIRE EMPLOYER
Capitalist Declares Lowest Glasses of Work
ingmen Are Found in Countries Where
LabOrerS Are UnOrganiZed
PRAISES LABOR UNIONS

aborng man." Col Harris Wienstock millionaire
head of large department stores in San Francisco and Sacra
mento said last night II would join labor union The highest
human efficiency is to be found countries
where labor organizations strongest The lowest efficiency
among which under notice anywhere IN the
Occden found in Russia the land where labor organizations
permitted exist Labor organizations strongest in
English speaking these countries have the highest
efficiency in labor The labor organization has to stay
while in Russia said the millionaire, Il interviewed iron
of He told that foreign competition
sweeping the trade from under his feet To what do
attribute this To the neficiency of Russian labor
reply. the Russian workman gave his time
energy ability grudgngy his employer and that the for
egn abore far ahead of the Russian workman IN the quail
ity of his workmanship.
sought interview with Russian workman familiar
with existing conditions in his country He told the laborer
and organized with his fellows under penalty OF passing the
his days Siberia The government and employers
are leagued against u.s. told What it give the
best that epoyers The would never be
any higher and would receive neither reward appreciation
teeth and give them little can.
$50 the Russian employers bloaed in their bindy
organized labor lessen the quality of that labor and
unwttngy open the of their country foreign compe
ton"
Los Angeles herald., 1910-02-13

any direction when depositing on the
ground again.
The Pacific Lumber company handles
redwood exclusively. This is brought
from Humboldt county, where the COM
pany has large mills at Scotia The
company owns a fleet of several steam
ers, which is engaged in bringing the
lumber down the coast. Shipments as
far east as Vermont are made and
these eastern shipments aggregate
10000 feet year. Redwood is becom-
ing very popular in the east for build
ing purposes.
Upon arrival at the wharves the
party boarded the tug Warrior for a
trip up the new channel to San Pedro.
On the lower deck were many of the
leading citizens of Los Angeles, but the
most distinguished guests of the day
were included in a little group Of lum-
bermen on the hurricane deck. Besides
representatives of the Los Angeles
lumber companies there were represen-
tatives of the leading companies of the
northern coast, with capital aggregat-
ing $40,000,0OO The visitors were
James Tyson, president of the Charles
Nelson company of San Francisco, one
of the largest lumber concerns on the
coast; Maj. e. G. Griggs of the st.
Paul and Tacoma Lumber company,
having extensive interests both east
and west, and C. H. Jones of the North
American Lumber company OF Tacoma.
r. w. Burnam, manager of the r. G..
Dun & Co. commercial agency at Los
Angeles, was also a member of ihe
party on the upper deck. Willis Booth
and Lieut.. c. Il. Leeds and Lieut. a. r.
Ehrenbeck of the United States engi-
neer's office We're also aboard.
Work Cost Quarter Million
The round trip aboard the tug took
just an hour The channel from the
turning basin was dredged at a cost
of nearly $3.50, 900. OF this nearly 1000
feet was dredged on the south side Of
Mormon island by the Bannings. the
material removed being used to I'LL
the island, where 100 acres will be
available for commercial purposes.
From the end of the channel around
Mormon island the Consolidated Lum-
ber company dredged nearly a mile
within the harbor lines and more than
half a mile through their private prop
erty. The channel is eighty feet wide.
At the end of the channel there is
turning basin 600x400 feet The upper
channel and turning basin cost 100000
and the lower channel within the har-
Los Angeles herald., 1910-02-13

The Legal Aid society. at 232 North Main
street. is a charitable organization main
tained for the purpose of aiding in legai
matters those unable to employ counsel the
society needs financial assistance and seeks
information regarding worthy cases. Phone
Home F52o3; Main 1858.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-02-13

under which his workers shall toll and
live. 1t has compelled him to take
into account in his reckonings the atti-
tude of his workers and to realize they
must have a voice in all things affect
ing their welfare.
Effects Higher intelligence
"On the other hand the organization
of labor has made for higher intelli-
gene on the part of the wage-earner.
1t has brought about higher wages,
shorter hours and more livable and
better working conditions, which have
uplifted the toiler and made of him a
more valuable and more efficient
worker.
"If it were possible to wipe out labor
organizations occidental civilization
would be set back decades.
1.-THE sooner employers realize and
accept this situation, the sooner they
direct their thoughts to the question
of how most wisely and most equit-
ably to deal with organized labor in
stead of directing their thoughts to the
question of how to most effectually de-
stroy labor organizations, the more
speedily will they hasten the day OF
industrial peace.
THE average employer and employe
are fair and just and give a fair ex-
change in wages and labor. Unfor-
tunately in the industrial world there
are employers and employees who are
below the average in the matter of fair
play, and it is these that cause the In
dustrial wars.
Unfairness Causes Disputes
"It is the unfair employer who for
greed exploits has employe, and it is
the unfair e1nploye who demands more
and gives less in return, that cause the
trouble. Were every employer fair and
honest there would be no need for the
labor union. The loss of public sympa-
thy and the cooperation of capital and
labor will cure the unfair of both sides.
Public sympathy and public opinion
in a republic count for much, and
eventually crystalline into legislation,
and laws are put ON the statute books
that the unfair and the unreasonable
dare not defy. The dive keepers of
community, for example, may have a
profound contempt for the unfayorable
opinion of the anti-saloon element, but
if this anti-saloon element can win
over to it's side enough votes to close
the dive legally, it's keeper is afraid
and must obey, or find the heavy hand
of the law resting on his shoulder. 1t
is this fear of public opinion that crys-
tallizes itself in to law that makes the
unfair employer fear it and strive to
win it's favor.
industrial wars menace the public
peace and welfare of any country in
which they take place. Corporation
and understanding between capital and
labor before these wars take place will
bring harmony and bring about their
aboliShment."
Los Angeles herald., 1910-02-13

Dor lines $4,000. The remainder of the
channel leading to the turning basin
at San Pedro cost the Bannings about
100000. Wharves were built by the
Consolidated Lumber company at a
cost of $4,000.
The holdings of the Consolidated
comprise 141 acres, of which thirty
five acres were leased from the Salt
Lake railroad and LOG acres from the
Bannings. The site of the Pacific Lum-
Der companys plant was leased from
the Consolidated and is part of the 141
acres.
The Bannings were represented in
the celebration today by the private
yachts Campanero and Cricket, hav-
ing aboard Captain Hancock Banning
and Captain William Banning, with a
large party of friends that included
many women.
After the return to the lumber
wharves the guests were taken
through the yards of the Consolidated
Lumber company, where there are
some of the largest lumber sheds for
storage of lumber in the south. Here
the cars were again boarded at 5
o'clock for the return trip to the city.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-02-13
WATERWAY TO SEA :
FORMALLY OPENED
WILMINGTON CHANNEL AND IN
DUSTRlES INSPECTED
Representatives of City, Lumber and
Shipping interests Guests of
Consolidated Lumber Com-
pany Official
Especial to The Herald. ]

WILMINGTON, Feb. 12.-Represen-
tatives of not only the lumber interests
and transportation companies of Los
Angeles We're included in the list of 150
guests of w. T. Wheatley, vice presi-
dent and general manager of the Con-
solidated Lumber company, at the for
NAL opening of the new two-mile
channel from the turning basin to the
new lumber mills northeast of Will
mington this afternoon, but also rep
resentatives of the lumber and ship
ping interests of the entire west.
The guests arrived from Los An
geles on two special cars over the Pa
cific Electric at o'clock. The cars
were run over the spur track directly
to the mills, which are also reached
by spurs of the Salt Lake and South
ern Pacific railroads. Upon arrival
the guests passed nearly an hour going
through the plant of the Pacific Lum-
ber company on the way to the
wharves where two steamers were tied
up with full cargoes. These were the
steamer Fulton with 425,000 feet from
Mendocino and the William Fl. Murphy
with $4,000 feet, located at Eureka.
This plant is acknowledged to be the
most modern of its kind. 1t cost $780,
900 and occupies twenty acres. OF this
$4,000 was expended to install three
and half miles of overhead mono
rail track to distribute lumber over
the yards and eliminate the plank
.gangway and the mule. A heavy steel
eye-beam sixteen inches deep is hung
on a wooden tramway supported by a
double row of timbers twenty feet
high and twelve inches square placed
twenty feet apart.
Monorail System a Feature
The ingenious feature of the mono
rail system is the electric carrier
which runs on the eye-beam. Each
carrier has a cab and carries an oper-
ator. who is able to pick up loads of
lumber and quickly carry them to any
part of the yard, throwing switches
from one track to another without
stopping.
Each one of these carriers cost $1,000,
and when running through the yard
hanging to the overhead rail with a
truck load of long boards beneath is
strongly suggestive of an aeroplane
The lumber is lifted by means of small
steel ropes, which run on q drum. The
operator is enabled TO pick up the load
with hooks and lift 1t from the ground
by winding up the ropes on the rapidly
revolving drum and turn 1t around in
Los Angeles herald., 1910-02-13

Harris Weinstock, many times a MIL
lionaire, one of the biggest employers
of labor in the state as a member OF
the firm of Weinstock & Lubin, own
ers of two of the largest department
stores in Sacramento and San Fran
cisco, spoke to the City club yesterday
at a luncheon given by them IN MS
honor at Levy's cafe.
Mr.. Weinstock has just returned from
a trip around the world, in which he
was commissioned by Governor Glilett
to investigate labor conditions abroad
At the conclusion of his address a
silent toast was drunk to commemor-
ate the one hundred and first anniver-
sary of the birth of Abraham Lincoln.
Mr.. Weinstock in his speech spoke
strongly in favor of the organization
of labor as well as capital, of con-
ferences between representatives OF the
two bodies in times of industrial peace
and the existence of a mutual under
standing between capital and labor.
He advised the organization OF an
equal number of representative en-
ployers and employees, their empower
ment by the legislature with authority
to settle strikes and disputes, but their
actual work to. be the prevention of
strikes.
At the conclusion of the address a
motion was made and carried giving
the Endorsement of the City club to the
speakers views.
Mr.. Weinstock said he had taken his
idea from that of Sir Samuel Boulton
of London, which had been in effect in
England seventeen years and mad
proved a success.
Buyer Seeks Cheapest Market
1.-THE buyer the world over seeks the
market where he can buy the cheap
est" said Colonel Weinstock, land the
seller the world over seeks the market
where he can get the most for his
wares. If labor is a commodity, as is
so often maintained, it is but natural
for the employer, who is the buyer Of
the commodity, to strive to obtain 1t
at the lowest cost, and for the worker,
who is the seller of that commodity, to
strive to get the most for his toll.
Where the buyer and seller of labor
are left unrestricted the law of supply
and demand operates.
workers are more abundant than
work, hence the employer has more
often been able to exploit the worker
than the worker has been able to eX-
plot the employer. This has he'd labor
in most countries to unite for its COM
mon protection against the exploiting
tendencies of the wagepayer. The or
ganization of labor has carried to the
employer advantages and disadvan-
tages. On the one hand it has robbed
the employer of the executive voice in
fixing wages, hours and working con-
ditions. 1t has clipped his privilege to
be the sole arbiter of the conditions
Los Angeles herald., 1910-02-13

The Herald. like every other newspaper Is
nnisrepresented at times, particularly In
cases involving hotels theaters, ETC. The
public will please take notice that every
representative of this paper is equipped with
the proper credentials. and mora particu-
larlv Auuinned with money with which to
nav his hills THE HERALD,
Los Angeles herald., 1910-02-13

Every time eat candy I become
more and more convinced that we
should eat pure homemade candies,
and that is what you find at the Choc-
olate Shop on West Fifth street, op
posite Hotel Alexandria.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-02-13
AROUND TOWN
Lectures on Labor Party

Lectures on Labor Party
George w. Downing will lecture this
evening in Mckinley hail. Walker
Theater building, His subject will be
"a Labor Party"
State Society to Meet
The Los Angeles section of the New
Hampshire State society will hold a
meeting Tuesday evening in Mon
mouth hall. 1t is desired that all local
and visiting New Hampshire people
be present if possible.
Lecture for Y. w. C. A.
For the benefit of the Y. w. C. A.
Dr. William Horace Day will deliver
his lecture, ION the Heights" next
Thursday evening in the Y. w. c. A.
auditorium. This lecture will be illus
trated by Photographic slides secured
by DR.. Day during his 230-mile trip in
the saddle among mountains of Cali
fornia.
Banquet Tickets Sell Rapidly
Seats for the chamber of commerce
banquet February % are selling rap
idly, the committee in charge report
ing last evening that only 140 out of
the 500 seats remained to be disposed
Of In order to hurry up those MEM
bers who have failed thus far to re-
serve their tickets the committee yes
terday sent out postcards, again call
ing their attention to the affair, and
suggesting that they inform the COM
mittee as to whether they intended to
attend
Los Angeles herald., 1910-02-13
CITY BRIEFS

Two women were talking in an ex-
cited tone of voice. One said: MY,
I hope the present style of dressing
the hair will not soon go out! The
other one said: IN. Frederickson told
me not to worry-the style was too
popular to be laid on the shelf" There
never was a style that showed off the
hair ornaments to better advantage.
M. Fredericksons shop was a sight
Kirmess week. The women all fiocked
there for a beautiful dressing of their
hair Every girl was more than busy.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-02-13
THE CITY
Announcement of
A New Musical instrument

Strangers are invited to visit the exhibits
OF California products at the Chamber Oh
Commerce building. on Broadway. between
First ana Second streets. where free infor-
nation will be given all subjects pertain
ing to this section.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-02-13

I am so glad that found Flanni-
gan & Grif1iths hair parlors. For
truly believe 1 get the best facial work
done there. Yes, their place is 7S9 South
Broadway. When downtown call in
and see them.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-02-13

The Herald will pay $40 in cash to any
one furnishing evidence that will lead TO the
arrest and conviction of any person caugh.
stesling copies of The Herald from the
premises Of our patrons
Los Angeles herald., 1910-02-13

Membership in the Los Angeles Realty
board Is virtual guarantee Of reiiaoilty.
Provision is made for arbitration OF any
differences between members and their ell
ents. Accurate Information on realty mat
ters Is obtainable from them Valuations
by competent committee. Directefy W
members free al the office of Herbert Bur
dett. secretary, 525 Security building
Phone Broadway 1896.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-02-13

Anybody who would be able to ind an
address In the directory would be abO TO
md your CLASSIFIED Rd.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-02-13

Fcu cRA buy II, perhaps at many places. but
thor one GEsT place to buy lt-and thai
p'aqe adYertisea.