East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1910-12-09
A PLEA FOR THE pEssIMusT.

There is q story of an eX-Christian
Scientist who when asked why he
had relapsed or backslid, or became
unchristian-unscie confessed to
having tired of being $50 darned hap
py all the time" Evidently that man
needed an occasional dash of pessim-
ism to make life interesting after the
monotony of persistent. unvaryng OPP
timism. The hopelessly incurable op-
timist revels, yes, wallows. in cheer
fulness; mis- object in lifefis the pur-
suit of happiness; and like the infant
creeping toward cake of soap, he
won't be happy till he gets it.
Epigrammatic comparisons of op-
timist and pessimist drop often from
the lips Of would-be Wits THE op-
timist sees the rose, the pessimist feels
| its thorns" "Of the two evils. the
optimist chooses the lesser. the pes.
simist both" 1t is as easy to cover
the pessimist with obloquy as if he
deserved 1t.
If there were no pessimists to bal
| last the too buoyant optimists, how
long would the human race last? The
! optimist sits upon the deck of a
crowded steamer. serenely smiling,
| blssfully content. The pessimist,
sitting beside him, smells smoke and
begins to fidget The optimist says
| it is his Imagination and advises him
not to worry, for all will come right
in the end Nevertheless, the pes
simist gets up and "noses round" till
he discovers fire, which is then
| quietly subdued. But when, on his
return, he tells the optimist of it, the
optmist eXclaims triumphantly:
Didn't I say all would come right in
the end?" And the exasperating
part of it is, the optimist's confidence
is justified-thanks to the pessimist.
Is it not an obvious deduction that
a world made up wholly of optimists
would be as impracticable as one con-
tanning only mendicant friars? The
pessimist may be overcautious, but
the optimist is over credulous. The
optimtst trusts in providence, the pes
simist dstrusts everybody and every
thing. The man who didn't know the
gun was loaded was an optimist-he'S
| dead: the one who feared it might &C
off whether it was loaded or not is q
pessimist-he's still alive. The gen
tleman whose head was severed from
his body so neatly that he could no
be- convinced till they had given hin
} snuff and made him sneeZe must have
been an optimist; seemingly he haC
! not the brains not to be. The op
timist doesn't know enough to go il
when it rains-or at least he will
: start out on a cloudy morning with
! out an umbrella, because he thinks h
, can barrow one from the pessimist /
need be. and he usually can. TIL
optimist saunters gayly through life
wearing that fatuous smile that won
/ come off, secure in the knowledg
/. that drunken men, fools and optimist
get looked after somehow Left t
! his own devices, the optimist is an ir
responsible baby, dependent for hi
4 very existence upon the pessimist. TIL
optimist is a butterfly. the pessimis
. grub; without the grub there coul
, be no butterfly.
Doubtless the optimist has his plac
in the world; so, too have the amiabl
n lunatic and the other Irresponsible
g But the pessimist is the safer an
more useful member of society, an
it is to be regretted that his service
to mankind get so little credit.
n Here's to the pessimist; may he liy
long and (cause the optimst to) pros
per!-Frank NJ. Bicknell in Decen
ber Lippincott's.