Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-14
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1
Last, but not least!-Cleyeland Lead
er.
That man has broken more records
than anyone else 1 ever heard of" "A
runner?" NO; he owns a graphic.
phone. Stanford University Chapar-
raj
Highland Ferryman during momen-
tary lull in the storm I'm thenkin',
sir, I'll Just TAX yer fare; there's NO
sayin' what MIGHT happen tae US
| Punch.
Teacher-B-a-i-t: what does that
| spell? Tommie-Don't know, ma am.
Teacher-Why, what do you catch fish
with? Tommy-Oh, worms, -Yonkers
Statesman.
1t seems to me that / have seen
you before" You have, my lord. l
used to give your daughter singing
lessons" Twenty years, "-Cassells
Saturday Journal.
Il have a chance to marry an old
man who has lots of money" why
don't you?" He hasn't any bad hab-
its, and comes of long-lived family"
Chicago Record-Herald
'Ill work no more for that man Do
Ian An why?" "Shure, tbs on
account ~ remark he made" An
phwat was that?" Says he. Casey
says he, we're discharged
/
The Lady-My usband. sir, as sent
me to say . son't be able to come and
do the little Job you arst i'm TO; 'e's
promised TO go round the town with
the unemployed. M. A, p.
Mrs. Gramercy-I feel so wretched.
/ found Il dark hair on the suit my
husband wore last summer. Mrs. Park
Don't worry, dear If you remember,
| your hair was dark last year.-Lippin-
colts.
An automobile enthusiast proposes
the building of a motor road from the
Atlantic to the Pacific. with road
houses and garages every five miles.
Why omit hospitals?-New York Even
ing Post
"Gee!" said the observing small boy,
when l grow up I'm going after
political job" What for?" asked the
man. Sos I can go to the ball games
every afternoon" he replied.--DetrOit
Free Press,
Conceited Bridge Player-Come here
and sit by me, kittie. You can learn
] a good deal by watching my game.
Kittie Quicktongue-No. thanks.
never could profit by other peoples
| mistakes Life
BIobbs AT the next station we stop
| ten minutes for refreshments. Slobbs
II wonder why trains stop only ten
minutes at railroad eating houses
Blobbs- Probably for humane reasons
Philadelphia Record
Farmer Standardization to this,
Elyiry This paper says that they
! have found in italian prisons the pet
rifed remains of some of the prison
| ers. His Wife-Do tell Them mus
! be them hardened criminals we hear
! about. Harper's Weekly.
Things look rather run down around
! here" remarked the man who had just
! returned after many years to his ma
| tive village" Run down? ! should
say So replied the friend of his
/ youth. There's a motor car comes
through here about every three min
! utes."
| Mother-Johnny, you said you'd been
| to Sunday school? Johnny with far
| away look Yes, mamma. Mother
/ How does it happen that your hands
| smell of fish? JOHNNY carried home
! the Sunday school paper, an the out
| side page is all about Jonah and the
| whale, Western Christian Advocate.
Mother (viciously scrubbing her
small boys face with soap and water)
johnny, didn't l tell you never tn
I biacken your face with burnt cork
! again? Here l have been scrubbing
/ half an hour and 1t won't come off
Boy (between gulps) - UGH! amt
/ your little boy-uch! Use Nose. de
colored lady's boy,
Now, Mr. Blank" said temper.
ance advocate to a candidate for mu-
| nicipal honors, II want to ask you a
/ question. do you ever take alco-
/ holic drinks?" Before 1 answer the
| question" responded the wary candi-
date, Il want to know whsther it is
put as an inquiry or as an invitation"
Philadelphia Inquirer.
Did you ever stop to think, my
dear" said Mr.. Micawber, gazing at
/ his plate of lobster salad, that the
/ things which we love most in this life
are the very things that never agree
with us?" "Will you be so kind"
| said Mrs. Micawber. 'as to tell me
whether you are speaking Of the salad