The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1910-06-17

Did you know?

sight into human nature.
That hoping these "Cracks at Crea
tiOn'-a portrayal of the humOrOu!
side of life, at the capital of Garrard
sometimes true and sometimes other
wise, may awaken latent humOr anc
thereby lengthen life, the owners Of
names give their permission for them
to be used, feeling, if you can really
see the joke, that So will finally seem
so young in Lancaster, we will tie
white crepe on the door and put a
lamb on the tombstone of a person
who dies at that age.
That always there are those who
howl calamity from the hOusetOps, we
heard man say the other day that
Lancaster had been visited by cholera
twice and how she would escape this
summer, with Its stignant water,
muddy streets, pigpens and the like.
he didn't know.
That when man is all in, he is
still several dollars out.
That two men of our town were
kidnapped not long since. They were
enticed into ''devil wagon" and be-
fore they realized what had happened
they were in Danville, where they
telephOned to their respective homes
the following old oaken, irOnbound.
mOss-cOvered message; "don't wait
supper. unavoidably detained" One
wife'S reply was "get off something
new. Adam sent that message to Eve
in the Garden of Eden"
That you can fool some of the peO-
pie all the time, and all of them some
of the time. but you can't fool your
wife any time.
That it is funny when we stop to
thiuk about it, how much we talk
about the weather.
That the sun would shine into the
hearts of great many if they would
only raise the curtain and give it a
chance.
That Robt. g. Cousins q. S. con-
gresham from Iowa has written a
timely article against 1.-THE Charging
Monster of the Public Road" ''Shall
the people be driven from their own
highways is the question he aptly
asks.
That every true lover of the auto
mobile, in fact every law abiding citi-
zen of the q. S., whether he be an
automobiles or not, will agree with
Mr.. Cousins that the speed vlOlator
Should be punished.
That the speed mania seems to
have become prevalent disease, not
a micrObe or germ disease, but a mala-
dy made up of selflShnesS and devil.
ment.
That il we were all of one accord,
and would put our shoulders to the
wheel, we could make old Lancaster
what she should be.
That Richmond street has increas
ed her looks and value % or 80 cents by
the concrete walks.
That we need to tear some fences
down, some need painting and some
need whitewashing
That if every citizen had the civic
pride he should have, we would have
beautiful town.
That Sam Denny is the intrepid
hero of thousands of engagements,
with ladies and photographers. He
always faces the enemy uEfiiachiugly,
whether intrenched in strong fortid-
cations or behind formidable cameras.
We have few photos ON hand we
will give each new subscriber to the
CENTRAL RECORD.
That Billy Burton says he is going
to the country for visit where they
use "Ballard's -four"
That Dave Thomas is singing
alexander" don't you love your
baby no MORE"
That some young ladies have made
up song on our friend "Jake Robin.
son." and We are thinking of getting
out an extra edition in which to pub
lish j..
That Tom Wilson will be here with
the fair before long.
That the only man whose life was
perfect, was my wlfe's first husband.
and her third husband promises to be
a close second.
That Noah had Alex Walker skim
ned a block when he lit candle, for
he made the first Ark-light and he
could see by it. too
That we heard young man whist
ling "What s this dull town to me.
lis not here" You can supply the
blank to suit yourself.
That we are going to have red
lemonade, yellow lemonade, cOca-cOla
and pop at the fair, and anyone with
injured feelings can battle them at
these thirst parlors and forget all
about it. Ii that doesn't help you,
repair to the many good dinners on
the grounds.
! Teeth.