The San Francisco call., 1910-01-23

tribe, whose moral propensities are unsullied and
unpurchasable.
IN ON THE JACKPOT
The Booster goes on to tell what he would do:
We would have fear of a premature death by the
route; representing decent people, would be
decent not levy blackmail assail the
virtue of the beloved mother. hence there would be
Kaochs to assassnate That will have railroad
candidates for the United States is certain
they will be carpetbagging from California to Oregon
where Judge McGinn that there was but one
honest senatorial election history of the
and back to California. where they do not claim
honest election. We will have a jackpot of least
$3.50, but it will be the of graft fIched
from charitable fund for people suffering from
great confagration. The new state will have coat
of arms and great seal, representing the goddess
of liberty enthroned Mount Shasta facing the
golden west and the orient with garland OF sivery
clouds at her feet like "Beelzebub above whom
sits higher In her left hand will be poised with
BEAM the scales of justice her right raised to
swear the witness She will be weighing the niquity
between California and Oregon, in the balance On
the south will be swift moving ship of state with all
the wicked people of San Francisco that the earth
quake did not kill on board.
A STRANGE GODDESS
The goddess of liberty, looking like Beelzebub,
will wear strange disguise when the new state
serious 1t was started by the editor of village
paper III Medford Ore, OF whom the Oregonian
,1nkindly remarks:
He is backed up by the jackson County press asso-
citation powerful body. composed of the Medford
editor. printers devil in Jacksonville and out
dated railroad passhe latter framed and hung the
wall a perpetual reminder of other more glor-
ious times 1t is said supply of ammunition
has been laid in to be used the base legislative
caits at Salem and Sacramento resist the secession
movement.
Now this Medford incendiary is backed by the
Booster from Doris with his jackpot Doris is
perfect lady
BLAME PROFESSOR CHRISTY
Samuel Benedict Christy of the University of
California is the man for whom Uncle Jimmy
Wilson is looking. He is the man who has set
congress by the ears 1t was Professor Christy
who caused Mr. TAFT much solicitude about the
high cost of living. He is the who makes
eggs cost 90 cents dozen.
Uncle Jimmy set all the machinery of the
agriculture department to find the cause. Uncle
discovered the corner grocer and put the blame
him. The grocer and the butcher had multi
piled so fast that they all the laws of competi
ton. at naught. The more grocers the higher the
cost of groceries, reasoned uncle They stood COM
petition its head and reversed the processes of
economic law That was uncles mistake Christy
j. the man he wants.
HOW HE DID 1T
Professor Christy is a metalurgist and chemist
OF distinction. Years ago he invented the cyanide
process for the reduction of refractory gold bear
ing ores By that invention, now in general use
the annual production of gold than
doubled. 1t comes in floods and has deranged the
monetary system of the whole world Some blame
the trusts and others put it the tariff while
Uncle Jimmy thinks the grocery is the sim
per, but in truth and in fact, Professor Christy
Is the man who doubles the production of gold
a benefactor of his species, or IS he enemy of
the human race? Maybe congress can tell. 1t
beats me.
1t is the irony OF fate that this eminent and dis
tnguished man OF science, who has turned loose
on the world this portentous flood of gold, should
in his old age be dependent on the meager salary
of college professor.
PLAYS MANY PARTS
| find this extraordinary advertisement in the
Mail of Woodland:
Turkeys and chickens wanted-Highest price paid;
also junk hides. Harness shoes repaired;
class restaurant and confectionery w. A. Bridges,
knights Landing.
No sort of custom can stale Mr. Bridges infinite
variety.
UNCLE SANS MUSICAL INSTRUMENT
cordially unite in the petition of San Leandro
to be supplied with macar that does not squeak.
Read:
SAN LEANDRO, jan 15.-Residents of San Leandro
are circulating a petition the posoffce authorities
asking that the government mailcar which delivers
mail at points along the route of the Oakland traction
company be either given coat Of paint that
a coach be put the line. The present one is
so creaky that horses take fright at it,
What sort of music box is this
USES OF HIGHER CRITICISM
1t requires half column of learned scriptural
exegesis in the Los Angeles Herald to demon
strate that the precept of holy writ, Pray We that
your flight be not in the winter. does not neces-
sary condemn the aviation meet. tt IS the first
time thatI have the higher criticism" applied
to commercial uses.