The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1910-07-06
On Astronomy
By BILL NYE.

savant who hasn't the time nor means
to rummSge around through the heav.
ems. At times l am almost hopeless,
and feel like saying TO the great
warming, hungry world: 'Grope on
forever. Do not ask me for another
scientific fact. Find it out for your.
self. Hunt up your W new laid
planets, and let me have a rest. New
er ask me again to sit up at night and
take care of a newborn world, while
you lie in bed and reck not"
l get no salary for examining the
trackless void night after night wher
! ought to be in bed. l sacrifice my
health in order that the public may
know at once of the presence of a red
hot comet, fresh from the factory.
And yet, what thanks do l gel,
Then, again, you take a certain
style Of star, which you learn from
Professor Simon Newcomb is such a
distance that it takes $4,000 years
for its light to reach Boston. Now
We will suppose that after looking
over the large stock Of new and sec.
ond-hand stars, and after examining
the spring catalogue and price list. ]
decide that any n of the smaller
size will do me, and l buy it. How
do l know that it was there when !
bought it? It's cold and silent rays
may have ceased $4,000 years before
I was horn and the intelligence be
still in the way. There is too much
margin between sale and delivery.
Every now and then another astrono-
mer comes to me and says: 'Profes-
sor. / have discovered another new
star and intend to file it. Found it
last night about a mile and a half
south of zenith, running loose:
Haven't heard of anybody who has
lost a star of the fifth magnitude,
about thirteen hands high, with light
name and tail, have you?" Now how
dc I know that he has discovered a
brand new star? How can l discover
whether he is playing an old thread
bare star on me for a new one?
We are told that there has been no
perceptible growth or decay in the
star business since man began to
roam around through space, in his
mind, and make figures on the barn
1oor with red chalk, showing the &C.
Iestial time table.
No serious accidents have occurred
in the starry heavens since I began to
observe and study their habits. Not
a star has waXed, not a star has
waned, to my knowledge. Not a plan
ct has season-cracked or shown any
If the injurious effects of our rigorous
climate. Not a star has ripened pre-
maturely or fallen off the trees. The
varnist on the very oldest stars ] find
On close and critical examination to
be in splendid condition. They will
90 doubt e as long as we need
them, and wink on long after we
have ceased to wink back.
In 1866 there appeared suddenly
in the northern crown a star of about
the third magnitude and worth at
least $3.50. 1t was generally conced-
ed by astronomers that this was a
brand new star that had never been
used, but upon consulting Argeland-
ar's star catalogue and price list it
was found that it was not a new star
at all, but an old faded star of the
ninth magnitude, with the front
breadths turned wrong side out, and
trimmed with moonlight along the
cams. After a few days Of phenom-
email brightness it gently ceased to
draw a salary as a star OF the third
magnitude, and walked home with an
Uncle Toms Cabin Company.
1t is such things as this that make
the life of an astronomer n of ON
slant and discouraging toll. ] have
long contemplated, as I say, the ad-
visibility of retiring from this field
of science and allowing others to
light the northern lights, skim the
milky way and do other celestial
chores. l would do it myself cheer
fully if my health would permit, but
for years l have realized, and so has
my wife, that my duties as an astron-
omer kept me up too much at night.
and my wife is certainly right about
it, when she says if l insist on scaD-
ming the heavens night after night,
coming home late with the cork out
of my telescope and my eyes red and
swollen with these exhausting night
vigils, l will be cut down in my prime.
So I am liable to abandon the great
labor to which l had intended to de-
vote my life, my dazzling genius and
my princely income. 1 hope that
other savants will spare me the pain
of another refusal, for my mind is
fully made up that unless another
skimmist is at once secured, the
milky way will henccforth remain In
shaken.