The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1910-12-22
THE HAY-SEED
vs.. THE CITY RUBE

Down through the centuries the farm
er has been the but of many Jokes and
gibes. The funny papers illustrate him
with chin whiskers, carrying a carpet
sack, buying gold bricks from smart
confidence men. He is run over by the
cars. He is an easy mark, He has seed
in his eair
Now for passing moment turn the
searchlight of my intent upon the
farmer.
Is he such Rube? Is the city man
SO darnation smart2 The farmer sells
for spot cash everything he raises. He
buys everything on credit. In the
meantime his cash is out on interest. l..
AS he is perfectly good the merchant is
afraid to dun him for the money.
When cotton prices do not suit Mr..
Farmer he forms combination, holds
his cotton for an advance in price, and
calmly tells the merchant, when he
asks for money, to go to -.
Then the government sends him ex-
pensive books, free of charge, on the
subject of farming. He receives free
seeds from his Congressman. Thou
sands and thousands of dollars are be-
ing spent annually by our paternal gov
ernment on farm experiments-all for
the benefit of the so-called hay-seed.
Then we have rural free delivery at
loss to the government, running up
into the millions of dollars every year.
All this is for the country Rube,
Then, on the horizon looms up
parcels post. II it comes, the country
will pay for parcels post mainly for the
benefit of the alleged man who carries a
carpet sack and allows an automobile
to back up on him.
Now here in the "Show Me" State
the tax is 1922. St. Louis pays one
third of the entire taxes of the State.
In ST. Louis, property is assessed at 65
per cent of its valae. The State and
the city taxes are joined. If St. Louis
advances the valuation for local i'm
provements then st. Louis pays more
Of the State taxes. The hayseed sits
on the rail fence and grins.
The counties in Missouri assess their
valuation from 25 to 80 per cent. The
city jay "pays the freight"
OF course we have State Board OF
Equalization But say, brother, do
you suppose this board of Equalization
is going to raise the rate out in the
country? Not on yous existance! They
know where the votes come from. If
they should raise the country valuation
they would not return to Jefferson City.
So the smart city man pays one-third
of the taxes pays higher prices for all
farmEproducts-has two boiled eggs on
Sunday morning as a special treat
gives up his city home and moves into
an apartment to reduce the cost OF
iving-quits going to the theatre and
enjoys himself at nickelodeon.
Well, it seems to me, taking all these
facts into consideration, that our farmer
friend is not quite as much OF q Rube
as he is painted by the funny paper.
He now has his hot and cold baths,
gasoline engines to pump the water, dc
the washing and churn the butter.
The Rube receives his market report in
his own home b. telephone.
"Yes sir. If yon want that bay mare,
she's worth $3.50 right where she stands
If you don't want her it's all right with
me. Maby you can do better down the
road" When the Rube chews straw
and smiles sweetly at you over the
pasture fence.
When he goes to town he just carnkes
up his automobile or walks few hun
dred feet to the interurban cars.
| guess some of these bright cartoon
a lists had better draw pictures of the city
Rube-the man who goes down to work
in the dark and returns home in tue
dark who does not know whether the
sun is shining or whether it is roining.
And when the city Rube goes on .
vacation then the farmer ''gets his. ,
Look at all the signs around the
country: "No trespassing Don 7
: shoot here''-"No fishing allowed il
this pond" Why, brother, in th'
cities everything is owned by the publi'
utilities corporations and in the country
everything is owned by the farmers.
Back to the farml MIKE KINNEY
Teamster and Editor, in The Gimlet.