Arizona republican., 1910-03-02
AUMoRS OF CLERICAL LIFE.
Odd interpretation of Preacher's Re-
 marks and Church Services.

i The compliments that one meets | with are sometimes SIS strangely ! phras.d as they are generally little de | served on my leaving d puracy an old friend of mine said: Well. l bc | sorry you're going. for did '0pc you ! would ave died ere''-whlch was ccr- 1 tanly more than l did. writes the ! Erv. Stewart F. l.. Bernays in the i Cornhill Magazine Bnt in the way of ! testimonials. the one which l prize the most was received from certain | bishop He was famous Tor the infe- liritous way ho had of putting things. : 1 wrote to tell him 1 was leaving the diocese and to thank him for his , kindness tp me. His reply was short and l trust not to the point: Dear Sir: I am sorry you are leaving my 1 diocese. for l have never heard any thing against you. Yours faithfully.
 -" This at least was negative i kind of testimonial which might be useful to some of us.
 My vicar was leaving at the same [ time and l was accompanying him to his new parish He farcd little better at his bishops hands. Well. -. you and have not always seen eye to eye hut l might well get worse man" So. with this episcopal bless
 ing. we migrated to another diocese.
 4 friend of mine came to preach for me at the harvest festival The use" at his church was for the preacher 10 carry his stole. putting il on in the pulpit and again removing il at the end of the sermon. This little piece of ritual he duly performed. but it's meaning was wholly lost on my con- gregation. A servant being asked on her return why the service had been so short said that the preacher was in q hurry to catch his train. as he had begun undressing before he left the pulpit.
 woman in parish where l lived used each day to prepare herself for the worst. l was complimenting her 1 one day on the extreme tidiness of the house even in the early morning. , Yes" she said. 'l always likes to !
 ave my bedrooms done nearly. for. { as l ailus seZ, you never knows what 1 may appen; low soon one of the chil- { dren may be brought 'ome in a fit or ! with q broken leg. and, as l allus sez, ! il don't matter what 'appens. so long | as you've got bedroom to put 'em /, into" Whether she would have taken | quite so calmly the actual arrival of a ! child in fit l cannot say. for her i rule of life was never put to the ! test
 l once attended mayoral banquet in .. provincial town at which the vicar. who had newly arrived. was present. An alderman was put up to propose his health and was very anX- ious to pay a well deversed compli- ! ment to the new Vicar'S popularity, ! and this was his manner of doing it: "Mr Mayor, our new vicar has not been tong in making himself liked by all of us. As l was remarkiDg the other day to some friends, it's good i thing our vicar has not got the face ! of ln Adonis or we should have to ! look out for our wives and daughters" It was well meant. but one felt of course that the expression of senti- i ment could have been improved upon. !
 Writing of humor reminds me of the lack of it-an unhappy condition ! with which one meets occasionally. 1 There were some dear vld ladies who ! lived in q large house in certain | parish They were very much op- posed to anything which to their mind i s:lVored of the world: the thought | even of patience" filled them with 1, horror They had. however. heard that the curate. to whom they were much ! attached was a good conjuror. On oIi,. occasion when he was lunching |! with them they asked him to show ! them some of his tricks. He readily | consented. and In the extreme inno- l ccnce of his heart asked for pack l of cards. We have never had q pack | of cards in the house for twenty i years," his hostess exclaimed; and | then, feeling she owed her guest some ! reparation. asked him whether visit ! ing cards would do as well,
 am sure that q speaker. whether ! he is preaching or making Il political | speech. never realizes how little his . long words or rounded phrases are ! really understood by some in his au 1 ditnce. \ clergyman. at the close of i some confirmation classes which he | had been giving in village of one or our northern towns. proceeded to
 ask his candidates a few questions in
 order to find out how far he had | made himself clear The answer to | his first question rather astonished | hi!n--"Nhat is grace" Promptly the reply came. -'All manner of fat" The
 answerer had had plenty of experience | of it as kitchen maid. and perhaps grace" is not altogether unlike in
 sound to grease"
 That reminds me of the story of an old woman who on being asked why