Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-03-29
dlisecllanrous Grading.
DAMON AND PYTHlAS.
According to Ye Editor of the Ander
son Daily Mail.

peared an inquiry by Mr.. A. r. Evisor
of Barnwell. regarding the real history
concerning Damon and Pyth!as. We
are here reproducing the real his
tory" of the story. as told by the edi-
tor of the Anderson Daily Mail, and
trust that it will prove satisfactory
Perhaps. Mr.. Evison is not acquainted
with our good friend. Brother Car
penter; if not, this will prove most
excellent introduction.1
The "history'' is as follows:
Pythias was n married man in an
cient Syracuse. He went on a whi2
one night and got into an awful
scrape. He smashed n show case in
a cigar store. and ate steak in the
cafe and wouldn't pay for it, and
raised a rough house generally, and
finally wound up by trying to go to
bed i'm the piano at the moving pic
ture show. The police got him, OF
course. and the next morning the re-
corder. Dionysius, gave him sentence
of thirty days without the alternative
of q fine. Now, as they were taking
the prisoners down the street to the
rock pile, Damon, one of Pythias'
neighbOrs. came along. HALL" cried
Pythias, or words to that effect.
Say. you've got to be a friend.
want you to go to my wife and prove
an alibi for me. Tell her the firm has
sent me to Greenville to look after
some bad debts, or any other lie that
you can think of If it is a better one,
and make her believe it. I'll do as
much for you some day" He would
nave talked more, but the guard
TO gadap Now, about three months
before this Damon and Pythias had
both been trying to hire the same
stenographer and Pythias had won
out. So, on this beautiful, bright
spring morning Damon didn't do
thing but go to Pythias' house and
told just what had happened. He told
the whole naked truth without con-
cealing a single thing. And about
fourteen minutes later he came hot
footing it into the police station,
minus his hat and with his face torn
and his shirt front all blooded up,
and this was the story he told: Run
for your lives, you fellows. Pythias'
old wife, Philopena, is on the warpath.
She is armed with a gun and a razor
and a hat pin, and she says she Is
coming up here and clean out this
whole works. And she'll come jolly
we'll near doing it, too, for you see
what she has done for me-" Now,
the sergeant was a married man him.
self. He sent an officer post haste to
the chaingang, and had Pythias
brought back to the station house.
They took the stripes off him and
gave him back his clothes and a
brOmO seltZer which braced him up,
and sent him to his office, and when
Fhilopena got there they said they
hadn't seen Pythias in a month and
didn't know anything about him.
Philopena went on to her husband
office. and when she got there he was
working on the books like all pos
sessed. But he wasn't napping-no,
indeed. He beat her to 1t and lit in
and gave her a line of talk about how
he had been called out of town sud-
denly the afternoon before, and
couldn't get her on the phone, and
had told the boys in the office to let
her know about it and they had for
gotten it, and he had just gotten in
and had to stop by the office and go
over the books because he couldn
depend on anybody to keep things
straight, and he was going on up to
the house in q little while, for he came
from over yonder on the early train
and hadn't had any breakfast, ana
oh dear, do sit down. he said. Wheal
Philopena told him what Damon had
said he was very much astonished
and then looked sad, and he said he
did not intend to tell her, but thai
he had noticed that Damon had been
acting strangely for SINE time, ana
really he was afraid he had begun
doping Philopena believed it, or pre-
tended that she did, which always
amounts to the same thing. She said
she had been so worried, but it was
all right now, and it was pity he
had to work so hard and be away
from home so much, for she did mis-:
him so much when he was away. And
then she signed and said it was such
a pity about Mr.. Damon, but she
wasn't surprised, considering the KIND
of a wife he had, for she was so eX-
travagant. and didn't half keep the
house, and was always nasging at him
Whcreupon PythiaS shook hands with
himself behind his back. Then Philo-
pena Strengthened up the papers on
the desk and fdgcted about for z
while. and then sighed again and
again and said that now that as she
was uptown she guessed she had bet.
ter do that shopping that she had
been thinking about. as it would save
another trip and it WAS so much trou'
Bile To fix up. and would Pythas please
| let her have forty dollars. Pythas
coughcd up the money without bat
ting an eye. and Philopcna took il
and went out, winking at herself a:
she went. and Pythias spent the resi-
| of the day talking to himself ano
| kicking the chairs around. And now
we come To the SaddcSt part of ii all
| for Damon and PythiaS We're never
| friends any more. In fact they never
lSpokc To each other again as long as
| they lived, and they always acted n
| if they We're afraid to get within reach
Iuf each other. Damon moved tG
|Ncwberry not long afterward and thai
WAS the last that anybody ever hcaro
IOf him.
This. children. is the true story oi
lit. OF course il is told somewhat
differently in the histories. but his
tories are always unreliable. You
would do well if you would never be-
lirv" anything you read in the his
tories unless you just know it is 50
| Now, ythiaS WAS pretty goot
sort of chap in a way, and he hao
Il lot of friends. and they managed
| to cover up the scandal. 1t woul,
have been awful if il had gotten gu
| on him. you know. The way they
managed To cover il UP was that they
organized lodge. ana in this manner
they kept the secret all To themselves
| They called the Lodge the knights n
PythiaS Other lodges were organic
| ed. from time To time. To meet similar
emergencies. and the thing kept "l
growing. until today the Knights I"
| PythiaS is one of the strongest So
crrt societies in the country. 1t ais
claims To be- one of the most noblcsl