The Washington bee., 1910-12-10

geous gowns were everywhere. The
bride stood proudly beneath a canopy
Of choice exotics, beaming in her love
liness.
isn't she just too sweetT' gurgled
an elderly matrOn. "But who do you
suppose is the man who is always at
her side?''
"I'm sure / can't imagine" replied
another matrOn. Then. as a brilliant
Idea struck her, she remarked. "Oh,
guess it's only the bridegroomT'-Ex-
change.
Crushed the Critic.
He was very deferentiaI. but he was
a deacon in the church, and be felt
that he had a right to criticise.
Il hope you'll pardon me-" be said.
''if suggest that your sermons are
ah"-
TOO prosy. 1 suppose" suggested
the minister
''Oh, no, not that, but too long"
But you mustn't blame me for
that" returned the minister pleasant
ly. 'If you knew a little more /
wouldn't have to tell you so much
London Scraps.
To Make a Man Act Like . Fool.
A man was considered a general ig-
noramus by the concern for which he
formerly worked. He came into our
employ when we were obliged to take
him on account of the scarcity Of la
Dor. 1t was not long. however. before
he discovered that the firm appreciated
suggestions. He proved a genius in
his line. and his ideas were worth
good many dollars to US. asked him
one day why he did not present some
OF these ideas to his former employers,
and his reply makes the point.
''They treated me like a fool" said
he, 80 l acted like one."-System.
Well Named.
He arrived late and worn out at
the twentieth hotel, after wandering
nearly all around London to find ac-
commodations, and was delighted to
learn that actually the place was not
full up. Next morning. however, he
complained of the bed. and the land
lord stifHy said that a duke had once
slept in 1t. Perhaps it was the Duke
OF Wellington" said the visitor. with
a sneer. Perhaps 1t was" returned
the landlord. "No wonder they called
him the Iron Duke" Fetorted the
visitor.-London News.
A Careless Boston Burglar.
A Boston burglar at midnight
stealthily climbed a heavily carpeted
stairway, a dim candle in hand, when
the voice Of the unseen mistress above
called, "WhO is there% Abstractedly
the intruder answered, ats me-" and
then all was still At this crucial mo-
ment that Boston burglar, suddenly
overcome by the consciousness Of one
Of the worst breaks Of his life. lost
heart, turned YEARLY about, descended
to the basement. deliberately ate a
small piece Of cold chicken and saun-
tered away in deepest detection from
the back door.-BoStOn Herald.
Hang Your Hat on q Lead Pencil.
Take a smooth hexagon lead pencil,
one without either rubber or metal end,
and place it against a door or window
casing. Then with a firm. heavy pres
sure slide the pencil some three or four
inches. and it will stay as If glued to
the casing. You may now hang your
hat on the end Of the pencil. When
you slide the pencil along the casing
do It without any apparent effort, and
it will appear to your audience as
though you had hypnotized 1t. This is
; very neat trick If performed right
Popular Mechanics
Dog SPosks.
The phantom dog specteF was ere
OF the hardest of old English super
stitions. Almost every county had its
black dog which haunted it's lonely
spots and was the dread Of every ma
tive. Most OF them were regarded as
devils. but some were held to be the
spirits Of human beings. transformed
thus as a punishment Lady Howard.
Devon notable Of the days Of James
l., for instance, was said to be COM
PEELED to haunt Okehampton in the
form OF dog as a punishment for her
cruelty to her daughter.-LOndon
Chronicle.
Oxygen and Mushrooms.
One Of the government experts at-
tached to the department Of agricul-
Eure describes a singular way Of re-
moving oxygen from the air by the aid
Of q plant. Inside a glass bell jar, sus-
pended over water, is placed a mush-
room, and sunlight Is allowed to fall
on the plant The mushroom absorbs
the oxygen from the air In the jar,
and the carbonic acid formed during
the process is absorbed by the water,
which gradually rises In the jar to one
fifth Of its height The mushroom now
dries up, but its animation Is only sus-
pended. as may be proved by inuoduc-
ing beside it a green plant when it
Will again begin to vegetate. being
nourished by the oxygen exhaled from
the fresh plant--Pittsburg Post