Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1910-07-16
HORSE TRADING
IN OLDEN TIMES
In The Good Old Days Il Was
Sport, Not COmmerciaIism.
No Written Guarantee

Il have been reading that David Ha-
rum story" said the ancient liverymar
when his cronies were comfortably seat
ed in his little Office. "A friend told
me that story was the last word on horse
trading. but the man who wrote il didn't
understand the spirit of the game at all.
David Harum would have been skinned
out of his teeth if he had blown into any
western town in the palmy days Of horse
trading twenty-five or thirty years ago.
~ tell you. my friends, all the dead
game sports are asleep with their faith
ers. Nobody is willing to take chance
nowadays. If a man buys a cigar he
wants bill Of sale with it. The other
day cheap skate pestered me whole
afternoon talking about buying horse.
He tried out all the nags in the barn
and finally decided that the glass-eyed
bay would suit him. And he actually
wanted written guarantee that the
horse was sound! A written guarantee
No, gentlemen, am not joking. That
bald-headed travesty on a man actually
asked for such document. regarded
it as an insult, and after had rebuked
him they had to pour four buckets of
water over him before he recovered.
I'm the good old days horse trading
was a game, not commercial trans
action. If man wasn't willing to take
the chances when he went trading he
was advised to try some other line OF
business. Many and many time
had the harpoon administered to me.
One day MAJOR Charlie Slaughter drove
down to my barn.
II have quite a neat package OF
horsefesh here said the major, and
have sort of presentiment that he
can travel few lines when the wind is
blowing in the right direction.
"His horse was handsome roam, a
regular peacock for style, with his
head away up in tie air so you'd need
stepladder to see if he had star on
his forehead. And the way he hit the
road was a sin. Talk about gated
horses That roam handled his legs
as through he had taken sparring les
sons. Now my weak point in the horse
business is that when | want certain
nag the worst way can't conceal the
fact. l just can't sleep or eat my
victuals until that horse is in my barn
with new halter on him. The major
was wise to my weakness.
Its no use, Jake, says the major.
This hoss isn't on my swapping list.
Every roam hair on him just suits me,
and I'd be chump to let him go.
"Well, of course got the roam all
right. major was just bluffing. And |
gave him the biggest trade you ever
heard of-gave him matched team
and several bills for that gangling roam.
And when | took the roam to the water
trough for a drink | found that he
couldn't lower his head. He had to
carry it about ten feet in the air all
the time, owing to some injury in his
neck. He had to eat his faxed rice off
shelf and drink from a garden hose.
and man needed an aeroplane to put a
bride on him.
''Did raise fuss with the major ?
What sort of skate do you take me for?
Next, time met him | told him liked
the roam better than any horse ever
saw. He isn't always roofing in the
ground like pig, said |, and IL you
had told me about his patent dirigible
neck I'd have given you $40 more" We
were sports in those days.
tnnn ktsxn.a kn tfafa
told me about a fine trotting horse in a
town some distance away which had
been deprived Of its tail by surgical
operation. ! went and looked at the
horse. He was perfect beauty and
could trot like an avalanche. But he
had just stump Of a tail, and the
owner was ashamed to drive him, so
bought the critter Tor song. | went
to a lot Of trouble having a tail made
for him. II was a beautiful. flowing
tail, a credit TO the hairdresser's art.
II was fixed to slip over the horse s
stub tail and was then fastened to the
crupper of the harness. and man
needed good eyes to see that it wasn't
the real thing.
"The major had poor eyes. and when
| took him for drive behind that black
trotter he simply had to be tied down to
the seat he was so excited. He said he'd
always wanted horse with tail like
that. He had my own weakness. He
couldn't pretend Indifference when he
wanted thing the worst way, and he
wanted that horse so bad his hair was
falling out After great deal Of de-
liberation issued my ultimatum.
"'I'll give you the horse. harness and
buggy just as they stand. said !, for
your sorrel three year-olds and $50.
Either Of the sorrels was worth herd
of horses like the black.
"It's trade, cried the major
Next morning the major came
around to my barn all smiles. Ever
since | was q child and quit playing with
rattle says he. i have wanted a
horse with detachable tail-a tail that
man could take off and use as chin
whiskers at masked ball. ! just called
TO pay you another so cents, so that
when meet you after this you can't
say took advantage of you in our trade
yesterday"
ssOh tkaro xvara raal anfrta in those