Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-10-16

consequently
This man had. or thought he had, and
did the doctor think he had, something
the matter with his stomach.
The doctor looked pretty wise about il
shook his head considerably over it
coughed tentatively behind his hand
scratched the back of his left with
the rough surface of his fountain pen
said 'Humph!'' pretty mpressively, not
once but frequently; tnen added I'm in
quantities to suit: looked at the man s
tongue some more; felt OF his pulse
agayne: asked him the usual questions
ditto and da capo. and topped IL all oil
by looking enormously wise with great
and bewildering empreSSment.
Then he put the man on diet Yep.
reg lar diet. y diet-diet. so to speak.
1t appeared. if nothing else. that the
man was partaking, or had been partak-
ing of too much food The man wasn't
himself aware of this. His dope had il
that he never ate quite mucn as his
wife. AS a matter Of fact. his dope was
correct
But the doctor person said .Jiet." And
SO diet it was.
Not only was it diet. but the man was
required to stay in bed. He WAS just
bout as comfortable in bed he would
have been on any field of battle. if not
little less SO. But the doctor person
said Bed and diet for you. and that
settled it. 1t wouldn't have settled il
with the man himself; but his wife was
arrayed against him with the doctor;
your wife alWa,S takes the doctors side
and arrays herself against YOU any
how.
So this man had to go to bed and stay
there and let 'em run the dieting thing.
Once every twelve years SO. accord
ing to the mans chronological system. his
wife staked him to a little m IS of albu
men tea. Did you ever happen to try to
lean against albumen tea for sustenance?
If not SO. DO not: oh. do not. Because il
isn't made to lean against. 1t isn't made
for anything exec pit to give to men whose
wives are arrayed against them with the
doctor. Nobody ever leaned successfully
against albumen tea. lis reed to lean
upon
Then. once every Halley's comet. why.
the man's wife gave him a little-oh. ever
SO little!-chicken broth. Twas only an
aggravation. a temptation de St Antoine
phragm the few punk little spoonfuls
OF chicken broth. ached ia every Granny
and crevice of his being for the entire
chicken from which the broth was made.
He clamOred internally to crunch that
chicken, bones and all For he hungered
yea he sure did hunger.
Anon, between times, and as often as
once in every total eclipse Of the sun
visible in North America. Australia and
AnacoStia his wife, under explicit direc-
ton of the doctor person, gave her spouse
a gill of buttermilk.
This male being did not like buttermilk
He had nc sort of use or liberation for
buttermilk. He would soon have par
taken of tincture Of goloshes as butter
milk. But there he was in bed. and his
stern-eyed wife on the job she being
backed up by the doctor person. who ran
in every little while, at three iron seeds
per run-in to see how the dieting thing
was making out.
So he had to dredge into the buttermilk
whenever it was passed his way. Other
lovely little things, like mutton broth.
and beef tea, and lime water and milk
sailed in his direction in doll-sized lots
once in a while.