davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-11-18
Amusing Incident of the Campaign
When the Great Snowman and
Humbugser Was Seeking
Election to Congress.

The last man you'd ever expect to
be fabbergasted at anything was P. T.
Barnum, who gloried publicly as well
as privately in the fact that his bust
ness was that of humbugging the
American people. Yet there came a
time In the course of his election to
Congress in 1885 when the great
Snowman was actually so fabbergast-
ed for few moments that he was
actually stricken speeches..
Some years before he became
Obcessed by congressional aspirations,
Mr.. Barnum was engaged in the per-
sonally delectable task of exploiting
Tom Thumb. To do this in the way
that he had planned he needed more
ready money than he possessed, and,
looking about for man who had it
and was willing to lend it, he came
across the late Chauncey Goodrich,
Well-known Connecticut clockmaker,
whose father had been a clockmaker
before him-who had, in fact, invent
ed the famous Connecticut clock, so
called. To Mr.. Goodrich Mr.. Barnum
gave a series of demand notes to Sc
cure the loan.
AS time went on it became known,
somehow, that Mr.. Barnum had nego-
tiated loan of Mr.. Goodrich and had
given notes for it. In time, also, Mr.
Goodrich's affairs so shaped them
selves that he would have been glad
to demand payment of the notes, but
he refrained from doing SO because
OF his friendship for the borrower and
his belief in Mr.. Barnum's intention
to take up the paper when he became
able. Thus the matter stood between
the two men and was known to many
Of their mutual friends and acquaint-
ances at the time Mr.. Barnum was
to be given great send-off at a ban
Quet as the Republican candidate for
congress against another Barnum of
a totally different make-up-the late
William H. Barnum, a wealthy iron
manufacturer who afterward became
United States senator from Connect
cut and chairman of the Democratic
national committee.
The banquet in honor of the show
man was great success. The Lead
ing Republicans of the district were
there, and there were also several
leaders from beyond its bounds. Final
ly, the POSTMASTER called upon our
honored guest, our distinguished fell
low citizen, that public-spirited son
Of Connecticut whose name is known
all over the English speaking world,
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-11-18
Refused Wealth for Ambition

opera three Of the greatest singers
Nine. Grisi, Mario-ah, there was a
tenor such as never was before or
will be-and Tamberlik. | went one
night to the opera. was enchant-
ed That night l could not sleep. So
went every night, so long as these
three sang in the opera at Moscow.
| lived in the air; I said to myself
You must be a great musician. You
must go to Italy and study
so, few days later, went to the
nobleman, and said: go immediate
ly to Italy. | go to study music. |
am born musician. l cannot remain
here to teach any longer
THE nobleman laughed, and told me
my head was turned. Come again in
a day or two he said, and tell me
that you have forgotten this silly non
sense.
But in a day or two went to him.
and said: No, it is true, must go to
Italy. I must go at once
men nc SdIA " L1Is lN1CdOAAs
If you will remain with me two years,
until you have prepared my two sons
for the university, at the end of that
time l will give you much money.
will not tell you how much, but | will
give you so much money that after
wards you will not find it necessary to
teach you will be a gentleman, you
will have enough for life. You know
me. that when l say will give you
much money | will keep my promise.
81 know you will keep your prom
ise.' said to him in reply, but what
is money to me? If l learn TO be a
musician, then / will make money
must go to Italy
so | went to Italy to study, and
learned some other things than music.
learned after some time that. while
knew everything that anyone could
learn about music, could not sing
like a great artist. Therefore, what
remained? | must teach. And have
been teaching for nearly go years. All
that time have been pulling the devil
bv the tail. That is saying in France
which anyone uses who is hard up.
I have made living. have educated
my children. But / have pulled the
devil by the tail all the time. Per-
hans. If had stayed with the noble
man and received much money from
him. | should not have worked so
hard. but perhaps | should not have
lived so long" And the man who
could have been rich and led a life Of
ease had not ambition fred his soul,
smiled contentedly at me-"
DOWNRIGHT. 1910 by E. J. Edwards All
| Rights ReseTyed)
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-11-18
Barnun1 Was Flabbergasted

and who is now our candidate for
congress- to make the speech he had
promised the banquet committee in
private he would deliver as the open
ing gun of his campaign.
Mr.. Barnum rose and received the
tribute of applause that followed with
every evidence of complete inward
and outward pleasure. Then his right
hand travelled to the inside pocket of
his coat-and came away empty. to
be thrust into pocket after poke with
out result. In to his hat Mr.. Barnum
looked, and under he table and in
his chair. Then he gave a scorniui
shake of his head and cleared his
throat.
My fellow-citizens," he began. 81
have prepared with care an address
in which | meant to express my obli-
cations to you for the honor you have
done me tonight, and also to set forth
what In my opinion are the issues of
the campaign before us. There is
great work for our party to do now
that the Union has been saved and
reconstruction begun. But, my fellow
citizens, can't find my notes. / was
sure ! had them with me. | must
have mislaid them or left them at
home"
For moment Mr.. Barnum paused
in doubt perhaps, as to what to say
next. And in that moment, in a voice
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-11-18
How Clement Tetedoux, Famous
Teacher of Music, Rejected Offer
of Russian Nob!eman SO That
He Might Study Singing.

The late Clement Tetedoux was one
OF the best known and most successful
of all the teachers of music who came
from Europe to this country to take
up the vocation of teaching. He set
tied in Boston in the early sixties,
was for some years in New York and
afterwards at Philadelphia and Chi
cago. Many who gained great success
as singers received the greater part
OF their instruction from him, among
them being Clementine De We're, Nine
Jacoby, the contralto, and DR.. Carl E.
Martin, one of the country's best known
oratorio bassos. M. Tetedoux died
about six years ago, and his name will
remain tradition among American
musicsians for many years.
When | last saw M. Tetedoux, early
IN the century, he was already 80 years
OF age, although his appearance would
nave justified a guess that he was not
more than co. He was erect. his step
was active, his eyes very bright, his
mind alert, and he spoke not merely
correct but elegant English, in the real
meaning of that word although often
apsing into something like French
ldiomatic expressions.
When have time TO think little
said NJ. Tetedoux, Il permit myself to
reject upon what might have been
my career If | had not chosen differ
emily when | was a young man. Let
me tell you what chose, and then you
may perhaps be able to say to me;
MIR. Tetedoux, you did not make any
mistake
When / was young man | was en-
pioyed by a very rich Russian noble
4nan-oh, very rich-as tutor for two
Oh his sons The Russian nobility al
Ways Went to France to secure tutors
Ior their children. l do not know
WY that was. Perhaps it was be-
cause in that way the children could
letter learn to speak French.
On, he was a very rich man. He.
lad-what do you call it? A monopo-
"; yes, that is the word-of all the
"neat in several of the great districts
Oh Russia; his house was a palace. He
wed not far from Moscow.
The lads whom was engaged TO
instruct were noble little fellows, and l
oeeame much attached TO them, and they
% me. ! told their father often that
Hey would do well In the university,
ana ne would reply: That is well. NJ
~eledoux, that is very we'll
mere came 10 Moscow to sing In
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-11-18
Nrtlr NFllta s
Of 0eatpr1ay
by L. T. TAue,rns

that carried to every corner of the
banquet hall, }he late Isaac H. Brum-
ley, who afterward gained a national
reputation as a wit and humorist
while an editor of the New York Tri.
bune, sang out:
Mr. Barnum, Chauncey Goodrich
has got your notes"
In an instant the banqueters were
in an uproar; and as the shouts OF
laughter surged about him Mr.. Bar.
mum appeared completely fabbergast-
ed. But only momentarily, for, with
that quickness of resource for which
he was noted, he turned to Mr.. Good
rich, made swift Acknowledgement of
his Indebtedness and announced his
intention Of speedily taking up the
notes. The incident became q cam
paign topic, the people seemed to like
Mr.. Barnum's frank public acknowl-
edgment that he was in Mr.. Good
rich's debt, and although the district
was normally strongly Democratic. 1t
came within an ace, as the saying is,
of sending Republican to congress.
1t was in this same campaign that
Mr.. Barnum was asked why he, a
man who made a profession Of hum
bugging the American public and
boosted of it, wanted to go to con.
gress. Quick as flash came the re-
ply:
IF l can get elected to congress
that will be the greatest triumph Of
humbugging in all my career"
Copyright. 1910, by E. j. Edwards. All
Rights Reserved)
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-11-18
Was SaUed Against His VIII

mined upon Lieut.. Worden as the com
mander Of the cheese box, and my
cousin was asked to proceed to Green
point, Long Island. and make care
full inspection of the curious craft.
On the morning after he received the
order, the lieutenant reported at the
shipyard of The Delamaters, and 1t was
with very curious eyes that he beheld
the little ironclad.
Ericsson and one of the Delameters
took him all over the Monitor He
was intensely interested in the revolv-
ing tower and warmly approved OF
the mechanism by which 1t was made
to revolve. The tower is absolutely
impregnable, in my opinion, he de-
ciared. 1 don't believe shot could
hit it square; any blow would glance
of of it.
Lieut.. Worden was equally salts
fed with the various other parts of
the vessel shown him. but at last he
asked: But where is the pilot house?
There must be some place from which
the pilot and the commander can look
out upon the waters so as to guide the
vessel, either for navigation or into
battle
"Erisccon took my cousin along the
passageway beneath the deck TO a
point very near the bow of the little
boat, and then pointed to a little tow
er-like projection reaching only about
two feet above deck.
That's where the pilot or com
mander will stand" he said That's
your post when you are In battle
Lieut.. Worden looked the little
pilot house over carefully. He found
the lookout hole and peered through
it. At once he turned to the inventor.
That's an absurdly small hole he de-
clared. I insist that the slot be wild
ened considerably
THAT slot is just the proper width.
replied Ericsson. 1t would not be safe
to have the opening any wider"
Nevertheless, shall insist that 1t
be made wider. | will appeal to Secre-
tary Welles and ask him to issue an
order instructing Mr.. Delamater TO
have a much wider slot made, retort-
ed the lieutenant
Sure enough" continued the rear
admiral's cousin, when Lieut.. Wor.
den returned to Washington he made
an urgent appeal to the secretary Of
the navy to order the slot to be con.
siderably widened, and after much
hemming an order was issued for a
slot somewhat wider, but not nearly SO
wide as the lieutenant had contend.
ed for.
Not long thereafter there was
fought the battle that revolution9zed
sea warfare, and, IS every school boy
knows. early in the engagement a
shell frol. the Merrimac struck ex
actly upon the pilot house where the
slot was. It was a terrific blow, and
through the slot and into the face of
Lieut.. Worden, who was looking out
of the slot at the moment, a great
amount of fine metal and powder
passed. He fell back, MORALLY wound.
ed, apparently. fate that would un.
doubtedly have been his had he had
his full way about the width Of that
slot. He was saved against his will
Still, for all that, had he not had his
way partially, he probably would have
escaped the serious injury that threat
ened for a time to blind him perma.
nently."
Rights Reseryed.)
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-11-18
Designated.

Yves, she has had three husbands
and she alludes to them as the three
P's. The first was such fine fellow
she called him a paragon"
"Indeed?"
Yes, and the second was such a
model she called him a paradigm."
How interesting!"
And the third was so difacult TO
understand and acted so different from
the others she called him a paradox"
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1910-09-24
HERE ARE T0NGUE-TWIsTERs
Great Difficulty Is Frequently Expert
enced in Pronouncine q Certain
Succession of Words.

Whether certain succession words
Is difficult to pronounce or not, largely
depends upon the rate at which they
are uttered. A lecturer recently had
great difficulty with a sentence in
which he described how two savages
who had been converted fell tooth and
nail upon images of their ancient
neathen gods, thus totally repudi-
ating their two tutelary deittes." If
he had spoken more deliberately he
would not have had SO much trouble
getting past the concluding words. A
poet once went and stood by the sea
shore, and imagined that in the quiet
hush OF the twilight hour the sea
babe him a lingering farewell. But
the line in which he expressed his
poetic imagination is practically i'm
possible to read aloud rapidly:
THE sea ceaseth and dismisseth us
With his blessing"
This line, as Lowell said of a line
of Matthew Arnolds about Shake
speare, Kisses like an angry gander
1t makes such an awkward collocation
Of words as shave cedar single
thin" seem comparatively easy to
say.
It is not always hard saying
that involves the speaker in confusion.
He may trip up on comparatively
simple, easy words. The story is tod
of the young actor who was promoted
from 'my-lord-the-carriag e-waits'
part to impersonate a nobleman. He
was very nervous over his new dig
nifty. When he was asked as he ap-
peared on the stage whether he had
brought any luggage, he was supposed
to answer: Only two bags and a
rug" What he said was: Only two
rags and bug"
A clergyman intending to refer to
the Diety in the course of his prayer
as loving shepherd said "shov-
ing leopard" instead. The worst Of
fender was perhaps politician who
addressed a woman suffrage conVen.
ton. and intended to be excruciatingly
polite He meant after. somewhat
lengthy Grafton to indicate that he
hoped he was not ADDRESSING weary
benches" But what he said was
'tbeery wenches."
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1910-09-24
"HAPPY THoU9H MARRIED"
Wives No Longer Nope at Home
While Husband Spends His Time
at the Club.

If wives continue to grow ser sible
at the present rate, the time will
come when everybody viii know
how to be happy, though married"
Time was when the picture of the
wife moping at home, while the has.
band took his night off st tne c1uu,
was true one. II isn't So encse days,
a writer declares.
When the modern husband 9ays to
the modern wife, MY dear, F1u go
ing to dine at the club Thursday
night; may be rather late the mod
ern wife says cheerfully, Very well,
dear" and sits down TO ipdite inyi:
tations to dozen or so Of her friends
for nice little hen party for Thurs
day night.
And there's just as good ting a.
the hen party as the husband is
having at the club, too. There Is g
perfect little dinner of the most Ok
pensive delicacies of the season, and
then there is bridge And who wor,
ries about what her husband is doing
at the club when there is bridge to De
played? Not the modern wife
They play for stakes at these len
parties, too. In fact. all the comforts
of the club, to change an old seyfzg
little, are fast being appropriate
by these poor deserted wives.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1910-09-24
THIS COLT WAS A FAMILY PET
Did Lady Mourned the Loss nj 4
Frisky Young Thing twenty
TWO Years Old.

Mrs. Z. s. Grant was spending one
GUNNER ip<the New England hills and
ne happened to be at hand when &
native woman walked into the yard &c
deliver some eggs. Its a long walk
10 town. the woman volunteered.
Don't you own a horse?' asked Mira.
Grant. The woman sniveled. "Wa
lad colt, but it died last week" She
suddenly began-to weep. Mrs. Grant
alphabetically remarked that the
family must have been very fond Of
he colt, Whereupon the woman dried
her eyes. Fond of him? Well, (
should say. It was like seem one Of
the family took, to see that colt go as
he did, We all loved every inch of
him" Mrs. Grant inquired how they
came to love the colt SO dearly.
Why" Indignantly sobbed the wom-
an, we've had tibet colt now for goin
in to twenty-five years! "-Circle Mag
azine.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1910-09-24
SWAN TO SHORE IN BASKET
Desiring to Join His Sweetheart, a
Sailor Risks Life in Jumping
From Ship.

Love for an old sweetheart and de.
sire to save her from marriage ar.
ranged by her parents fmpelled Maxim.
zono Inousko of Seattle, Wash, a sail
or on the steamer Inaba Maru. to risk
his life in a daring attempt to escape
from the vessel
Waiting until the dark hours of the
night Makinzono picked up a bamboo
basket, and, holding it over his head,
leaped from the steamer. Both guards
and ships officers heard the splash
and rushed to the spot. Electric flash
lamps and the ships searchlight shot
their rays over the waters, but all
that was discernible was a bamboo
basket bobbing around in the bay. APP
parently without any guidance the
basket fioated around the end of the
grain elevator and disappeared In the
morning Makinzono was missed, and
investigation developed the manner of
his escape.
Sent among the passengers with a
message from one of the ships Off
GERS, Mahnzono recognized the girl
rs an old sweetheart It was then he
carried out his plan of escape. The
girl is held at the detention station
New York Herald.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1910-09-24
HAD 70 MAKE CONFESSION
Not cnEy That But 1t Cost E4uaby a
Good Many Dollars to Square
Himself.

George, she ASKED, why did you
tel that man you were talking to over
the telephone a moment ago that you
enyied him."
I don't remember. Did say / en-.
wed him."
Yes, you did, and you said it as if
you meant it. Who vas he?
"Ch, it was fellow I met at the
athletic cub the other night, His
name is Robinson"
What were you talking about SO
long?"
Nothing very important He mere
ly wanted to see lie at lunch time to-
morrow
And he didn't say why he wanted
to see your"
No; think he wants me to sup
port him for some office"
'ph, he is politician"
No, no; l believe he intends to run
for some Office in the club
WAS that why you said you envied
him?"
Certainly not. l dent want to run
for any Office. l haven't time for that
sort of thing"
We'll. how can he take the time for
it?''
You see. he has no family. He isn't
married
How long have you known him?"
Just met him yesterday"
And did you ask him then if he had
a wife?"
NO; he told me just now when we.
we're talking over tho wire that he was
not married"
And you said you envied him!"
''Yes-I mean no, no, Josephine
honestly l never-come, dearest, you
don't think Td-o, well confound it, if
you insist On quarreling, what's the
use OF denying it,"
Nevertheless she received permits
sion the next day to buy the $3S les
horn nat that had pleased her fancy
Chicago Record-EIerald.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1910-09-24
UNEARTHED WHALES BONES
Dredgers Lay Bare Skeleton of a
Twenty-F ooter-one Dredee
Brings Up a Diamond.

In cutting away the bank of the
creek a mile from the ocean on Hew-
let's Bay, the New York Sun says.
workmen employed on the dredger
Florida came across the skeleton of a
20foot whale IL feet below the sur,
face of the meadows. The men had
secured the yertebrae and head and
were digging for the rest of the frame
when the storm put an end to opera
tions.
The large suction pipe of the
dredger has brought to light many
articles, some of them valuable Two
weeks ago a diamond ring worth 500
was brought up. just inside the sue
ton pipe is a box which contains a
magnet and all metal substances drop
into the box. while the mud and dirt
pass over it.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1910-09-24
The Worlds Best Runners.

The best runners in the world are
said to be a race of Indians living
near the Gulf of California. They are
known as Seris, and number only
some 400. In the open country the
women and children catch hares by
hand without any artificial aid what
ever. The men. however, look upon
this as child's play, and themselves at
tack and capture antelopes, deer and
wild buffalo. The sWiftest horse can
not outrun these fieet-footed Indians,
who perform on foot the same feats
as the cowboy on his broncho
A boy can be seen driving horses
round and round in an fnclosed track,
and when they have got up a good
speed one of the barriers is removed
and horse dashes into the prairie at
full speed. 1t has not guhe 120 yards
before the Indian has caught up with
it; another GO yards and he has bound.
ed On its back, seized its name with
one hand and its nestrils with the
other and thrown it to the ground.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1910-09-24
LEFT HIS SPEECH AT HOME
Embryo Orator Loses Out Because Of
an Accident to Messenger Bearing
His Manuscript

"Mr. POSTMASTER ana Gentlemen y
said the young man who was facing
a crowd of listeners for the first time.
impressed by the-ah-importanc
of this occasion, ] prepared a speech
tO-ah-be' delivered here this eve
ming and-ah--T would be very glad
to-to-ah-giYe II to you, but have
forgotten it. cloud applause) would
read it to you from the manuscript if
: had not-ah-unfortuna left it
IN my room at the hotel. tCries Of
Good. Good!"D But have telephoned
for it and-ah-a messenger is on his
way here with it, I expect him at
any minute. In the-ah-meantime l
will say that it-ah-gives me great
pleasure to be with you tonight.
anl-ah-highly honored and-ah-I
assure you that"
'If the gentleman will pardon me
for a moment" interrupted the toast
master, 81 have an announcement to
make that will be of interest to him
Word has just come by telephone that
the messenger who was bringing his
speech was run over by an automo-
bile and the manuscript has been
lost
After the tumultuous applause had
been stiled a resolution of sympathy
for the chauffeur was offered and
passed with whoop.-Chicago Rec.
ord-Herald.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1910-09-24
Real READING.

In anything fit to be eallea by tha
name of reading. the process Itself
should be absorbing sud voluptuous:
we should gloat over & hook, be rapt
clean out of ourselves, and rise from
the persual, our mind filled with the
busiest, Kaleidoscope dance of i'm.
ages, Incapable of sleep. or Of coDtip.
uous thought The words. If the book
be eloquent, should run thenceforward
in our ears like the noise of breakers
and the story, if it be story, repeat
itself in thousand oolored pictures
to the eye.-Robert Louis Steven
son.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1910-09-24
lightning Doesn't Strike in Slice,


Doctor Brewer should have advised
those who are nervous in thunder.
storm to go not merely to bed but to
sleep. There is a popular tradition
that lightning will not kill anyone
who is asleep.
The folk lore of lightning is ex-
tensive and peculiar. According to
one school, the splinters of a tree
struck by lightning are an infaIlib1e
specific for the toothache. But the
most pleasing superstition is that
which used to be cherished by the
boys of Yorkshire village who be-
lieVed that if they mentioned the
lightning Immediately after flash the
seat of their trousers would be torn
out No boy could be induced to
make the OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES Chron.
iele.