davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Falls City tribune., 1910-06-10
ROUSED THEM FROM SLUMBER
Few Words Uttered by Scottish d.
vine Most Powerful in Their Eff
feet on Congregation.

A certain Scotch minister, a new
conner in the parish, finding it impos.
sible to arrest the attention of his
congregation, became desperate. No
o did he appear in the pulpit
than they promptly composed them
selves to sleep.
One evening, after taking up his pc.
%sition, he raped sharply On the ledge
in front of him, and addressed his
somnolent flock in tones of severe
remonstrance.
Now, brethren he said, cts not
fair to go asleep as ye always ha' done
directly begin my sermon. Ye might
wait a wee till | get alang, and then
If I'm no worth hearing sleep ava wi
ye, and I'll no care; but dinna go be,
fore | ha' commenced. Gle me this
one chance"
Finding they were all fairly awake
by that time, he went on
81 shall take for my text the two
words Know myself but / will say
before l begin the discourse that
would no advise this congregation to
make mony such proitless acquaint.
ances."
There was not a snOre or a nod In
the kirk that evening, and after that
day he found his task comparatively
easy.
The Falls City tribune., 1910-06-10

The Hon. Clay shook his head, bu,
laughed lazily. You'll do ito save
your reputation. my dear" he said,
making as if to take her hand. BE a
sensible darling" he went on. You
like me-and you must marry some
body. We are known to have gone
away together-even without the
fore morning. You need not hope we
have been followed. The big car
would never take our roads, eel if
anybody knew them. And what horses
could make and hold half our speed.P
My sorrels," Roland cried, spring
ing upon the Hon. Clay, half throttling
him, then shaking him as a dog shakes
a rat. They caught you-if you did
have an hour the start. No doubt
you ran rings to bewilder this poor
girl-but they would have caught you
without. They know it was more than
life and death. They brought me here
in timel They are almost dead-al-
most, not quite, thank God. The three
of us will go back together. | shall
give it out that this mad prank was
a test of their speed, and endurance.
That will explain everything. If you
dare say anything else"
well what?' the Hon. Clay painted,
smiliny uneasily.
Before Roland could answer, Meg
had slipped to his side and put her
hand in his. THAT won't do, Roland
Il know a better way-yery much
BETTER she said.
What is it, Roland asked.
She looked up at him bravely, but
looked down again. blushing deeply,
and breathing hard.
Lets have it hat | ran away with
him TOTO marry YOU" she said.
AS Roland caught her in his arms
the Hon. Clay grinned. you owe me
a whole lot, cap'n," he said, bowling
to Roland. For, if she didn't marry
you just this way, I doubt if she'd do
it at all"
He said it with a twinkle that ought
to have enlightened Meg. yet it was
six months after her marriage before
she ever suspected that it had been
all a conspiracy against her. Roland,
really in despair, had fallen in with
the Hon. Clay's scheme of vicarious
elopement. Meg forgave them both
like the thoroughbred she was. She
buys a new car every season from
Hon. Clay, who gets a humping com
mission. He is a married man him
self now and very fond of his wife.
The Falls City tribune., 1910-06-10
Jewish Longing for Palestine.

As long age as 1866 Sabati Zevi set
the Jews of Europe preparing for a
return to Palestine. Not only the poor
er brethren. but even the rich mer-
chants of Venice and Leghorn were
seized by the excitement and for a
whole century the great bulk of the
people refused to be disillusioned. 1t
was not until the appearance of
George Eliot's Daniel Deronda" that
the Jewish nationalist movement re-
ceived another stimulus so strong as
this; but in the meantime many
schemes were p~ropounded, including
an attempt In 1854 to float a company
ito enable the descendants of Israel
to obtain and cultivate the land of
promise" Various famous people have
been interested in the idea of estab-
fishing an independent Jewish king
dom, not necessarily in Palestine. The
Dutch West India Company tried the
experiment in Curacao, and Oliver
Cromwell did the same in Surinam.
The Falls City tribune., 1910-06-10
THE GOOD SHIP TATUMBLA
Tragic End That BefelI HE Last Yes
sci of the Wonderful Hon
duran Fleet.

The Honduran gunboat Tatumbla is
%sorrowful. No drawer ship ever sailed
from Puerto Cortes-colors flying, en-,
gines clanking merrily, every man,
boy and flea on board ready TO do his
duty.
Several weeks ago the Tatumbla
~overhauled a smuggler 20 miles from
Puerto Cortes, and 20 of her crew
boarded the outlaw ship. The villains
promptly surrendered and the pirate
captain told Capt. Zelella of the Hon.
duran navy that there was plenty of
good rum in the hold. Soon the naval
force was celebrating. When they
succumbed to the delightful beverage,
up rose the smuggler's crew, flung
overheard every man, boy, and flea
of the Tatumbla, scuttled the gun
boat and escaped. Two of the Tatum.
bias crew, accompanied by 10000
f1eas, managed to swim to a floating
lifeboat, and escaped to tell the story.
Narrowing as the tale is, it con,
notes a worse. The Tatumbla was
the last ship of the splendid Honduran
feet, known and studied by naval ex.
perts for its efficiency, beauty, and In
sect life. She was vivacious and as.
piring. She could have sailed to the
uttermost ends of the earth, if she had
had the coal. She would have been
received by all crowned heads, and
her off dined by the greater ma,
tions. Alas, it was not her fate.
But she had the undying fame of
not attending the Hudson-Fulton cele.
bration.-Van Norden Magazine.
The Falls City tribune., 1910-06-10
To Abolish Secret Societies.

Wellesley students have decided not
to have any more secret societies.
Each of the presidents has signifed
her intention of taking the matter up
with her sorority. Miss Baxter of the
Agora society said that 1t was not bet
ter methods of conducting the society
that were needed so much as the abo-
lition of them altogether.
The Falls City tribune., 1910-06-10
As a ease.

Professor, is there any foundation
for the belief that eevry particle of
matter is a universe in itself?"
My dear sir. you can found any be-
lief on human credulity."
The Falls City tribune., 1910-06-10
Quite Proper.

81 know a man who deliberately and
persistently blackens his own bust.
ness"
What does he do that for?"
Because he's a stove polisher."
The Falls City tribune., 1910-06-10
The LANGUAGE.

Funny thing, isn't it?"
What is2"
That a live man In fact is always
dead in earnest"
The San Francisco call., 1910-01-30

well. They don't do that any more,
and the Gerry society and similar or
ganizations all over this country are
responsible for the change
For instance, when Clarence missed
this afternoon 1 asked. did that
mean he was in for a flogging?p
Bard only laughed. I'D have to lick
the three of them said he, looking
over his brawny company, before I
could get away with the job
And that. believe me. would be an
undertaking fraught with danger
NO" said Bard. "one of the first
requisites for quickness and cleanness
in our line of work is the perfect agree
ment of all of the parties to a trick.
Suppose Clarence were grouchy, or
Elmer sore, tor suppose Howard held a
grudge against one of the other three,
do you suppose we could do the turng
The San Francisco call., 1910-01-30

goal of his ambitions, which is a seri-
Gus goal far removed from clown land
In The Man on the Box" and I'm The
Substitute" he was the fsrceur. In
Mary James Pa which we are seeing
at the Savoy. he gets into the realm
of the sober. the earnest. the real. He
touches tear ducts and takes hold of
hearts, That's what he wants 20 do.
and 1 dare predict that he will land
where he is aiming for, sooner or
later.
He told me of his efforts to get him
self before the public as Dick Swiveller
in The Old Curiosity Shop That is
at present the thing he most desires
to do.
why should I not succeed he said
Lolita Crabtree-San F'rancisco's Lotta-
who was the original MarchiOuess in
this eountry-saw me play Dick seven
years ago, and assured me that real
lied the character better than any
other she had ever seen.
We put the production on last sea-
son. Cort gave it fine presentation.
1t cost many thousands of dollars, and
The San Francisco call., 1910-01-30

we played it first in New Orleans. 1t
went splendidIy. 1 said to myself:
I've got itr The notices were en-
thusiastio. and the public was generous
of patronage and praise. Then we
went TO a smaller town. They didn't
seem to know what 1t was about there.
and SO in places where we had a three
nights stand I'd play first The Man
on the Box then The Substitute and
would finish with the Dickens play
We'd get them into the house for
Curiosity Shop on the reputation OF
the preceding performances, but
could feel they did not understand it,
When 1 was about discouraged we
landed in Memphis. They adored it there.
and l felt better. Experiences like
these, however. finally persuaded me
that the larger communities would pay
to see Old Curiosity shop. but that
the smaller towns would have none oe
The San Francisco call., 1910-01-30

turn over in the air as he leaps. II
takes some time to do this, but at
tached to the belt around his waist is
rope, which, running over a pulley. is
held in the hands of an assistant. If
the pupil doesn't make the turn and is
and he remains suspended in the air.
The trick is. repeated over and over
again until the novice begins to feel at
home in the air and to have confidence
in himself. 1t is likely. il he is going
to make a real acrobat. that he will be
the first one TO suggest removing the
harness. Then he does the trick over
again and helping hand assists him in
making the turn. Soon he will say.
Leave me alone; l can do this alone
After that the rest is practice, conf
dence and muscle.
1T takes several years to train an
acrobat and those years are abstemious
and full of hard work. but the pleasure
that comes to the performer when he
has mastered himself is as great as it
is in any other line of self-expression.
OF course there's some vanity in it.
too, but I guess all performers must
have vanity, more or less.
IF I had boy said Bard, I'D
sooner he became an athlete than to
go into almost any other line of work
It's the surest thing you know to keep
a lad in the straight and narrow path
of temperance and moderation. and any
chap who can do this must have char
acter and brains-oh, yes, and muscles.
too.'
The San Francisco call., 1910-01-30

- EADING. Pa, is the home of the
strong man. From there come
TX the giants of the stage whose
Y muscular development is our
marvel and whose feats Of
strength keep devotees of vaudeville
interested while monoIogists get
their breath and dancers wait in the
wings for their turn to come If you
would be strong man. by all means
be born in Reading. Pa
James f. Bard doesn't know Just
p why Reading. Pa, should be the cradle
OF muscular babies; but he is sure that
il is He was born there himself, and so
were his three associates in the Read
ing quartet of athletes who give, this
week. exhibitions OF their strength and
skill at the Orpheum.
Bard is not one Of these low
browed" strong men, either He has
brain as well as a remarkable set of
triceps. and he utterly confounds those
intervievvers who think that a lack of
muscle is evidence of gray matter; he
dfsturbs the belief of the physically
inferior that they are just so much
The better mentally. Bard believes in.
brains and Drawn, and declares that
there is as much evidence of thought
in well staged athletic act as there
is in 2 monoIogue He even likens the
.technic" of his profession-shan we.
call it art?-to the fingered perfec-
lion OF Paderewski An athletes
set Of muscles, he claims must be
trained as the wrist and arm and fin
gers Of a pianist. Indeed. he glorihes
his profession by the contention that
the strong man must be the boss Of
his whole being. and that his is a more
difficult task than that Of the virtuoso
because he has 10 command more parts.
he told me about this in the dress
ing room Of the Orpheum the other
day. and. to prove the necessity Of
brains. self-controI and clean habits,
pointed to his three bright eyed as
sistants, clean Iimbed, and perfectly
nerved. 1t is needless 10 remark that
there was no argument
Bard resents the attitude of program
makers TO an acrobatic stunt "A freak
act" said he. will get columns OF ad-
vance notices and praise. it will be
seralded far and wide. Everybody
viii know the most minute details OF
fhe exploited persons daily life
whether he or she eats hot cakes in
The morning or has a cup of tea in
bed. But the acrobat comes forth
without any notice at ali, and his most
dlnicuIt feats vii get scarcely any at
The San Francisco call., 1910-01-30

The red sashes add touch of color and
the ensemble is thus intimate and un-
usual. We never make fake falls. If
we miss we miss, but we've never had
a 'buster'-that means a bad break or
fall. One has to learn to fall right,
and that is acquired in the early stages
of the game.
"a beginner is started on jumping.
We teach him to jump from the floor to
a chair and then back to the floor
again. He does this until he has
gained a springiness and a muscular
surety. Then we put belt around his
waist and start in TO teach him how to
The San Francisco call., 1910-01-30
Figman in Conflict of
Ideals VS.. Reality

y yOU may have noticed many times
Y that what you want to do is not
the thing you accomplish: that
circumstances, unruly and stubborn. in
terfere to break up the most cherished
and loved plans. Max Figman told me
he had noticed 1t. too. Gradually. how
ever, he says, he is approaching the
The San Francisco call., 1910-01-30

the time-that makes me 81 now,
doesn't it? What times we had in
South America. We got snarled up
in some revolutions, and finally 1 con-
cluded that the United States was a
healthier place for me to live in, and
so / came back home-the prodigal
son. Then l opened gymnasium in
my fathers carpenter shop. That was
the first gymnasium in Reading, too.
But that roaming spirit, once you catch
it. never leaves you again Barnum's s
shows enticed me for $25 per week and
found. From that time on have never
quit the show business, and 1 don't
suppose l ever shall.
<tTHINGS are very much different
now from what they were 20
years ago in this business. lad
in those days was likely to be cuffed
The San Francisco call., 1910-01-30
say there's no brains in brawny work.

say there's no brains in brawny work
~ ARD has had some thrilling expert
ences, as you might imagine
Once. when still a boy, in Will
mington, he was doing tight rope ex
hibitions across the main street. The
! pavement. Il had boy standing on a
I cheese box holding a guy rope" he
said. Just when / had got half way
across the wire. the cheese box
broke and the boy fell So did l. The
wire swayed and swung. and / tried
| in vain to keep my balance. ] in
stinctively realized that it was all off,
so held tight to the pole, and as
| swayed into the street 1 planted the
| end of the pole so it would hit first.
| 1t did, and ] slid down it like a
monkey. The only damage 1 sustained
an unwilling removal to a nearby
drug store. The bystanders thought it
no more than right that l should have
| some broken bones. l think there was
| some little disappointment when it was
demonstrated that / was as sound as
ever. 1t would have been so much
more sensational if | had been killed
Anyhow. they were reconciled when
went out and did the trick over again
with another boy on a stronger box to
hold the guy rope"
%HE care that athletes take of
themselves reminds one of the eau
tion taken by grand opera starr
to preserve their health and their
nerves.
Clarence, for instance, is 19 years old.
He has yet to take his first drink or
smoke his first cigarette. His life is
as well ordered as though he were
recluse; only there's this difference-he
isn't. He's a very human, charming
seIf-controI. The black sheep of this
family is, who do you think? Elmer
Smith. Occasionally he smokes a
cigarette. Yet fate works so weirdly
at times Heis brawnier than Howard
who doesn't. But Bard would not per-
on that account, for he said that
Elmer would be brawnier still if he
denied himself the occasional indulg-
ence of the taboo weed Howard is
made of wire," said Bard. Whereupon
Howard showed his wrist. which was
small one-almost fragile. Take
hold of it, said he. | did so, and the
flesh became steel. It's tensile strength
could not be calculated in physics, nor
can be until the elements of nerve and
courage are reduced to physical pro-
portions.
~OMING back to the discussion of
the matter of brains in work
~like ours" said Bard. take the
way this act is dressed, for instance. l
put on black in order TO reduce the i'm
preston of size. The boy wears white
Ito make him look larger Red and
gray, which the other two wear. are
neutral colors We put our act on in
a gymnasium. SO we wear costumes
gut in regulation gymnasium fashion.
The San Francisco call., 1910-01-30

Perfect confidence in one another is alb
solutely necessary. In our most dan
gerous trick, where two fly past each
other in the air to land hand to hand
with the two underneath, it is Clarence
who gives the signal. 1t is silently
done, as you noticed, but there is per-
feet agreement. Our four brains work
instantaneously, otherwise there'd be
two cracked skulls. Still, some folks
The San Francisco call., 1910-01-30

n ARDS associates in the nifty act
II al the Orpheum are Howard and
Clarence Won Nieda-the latter is
the boy7-and Elmer Smith. Bard
said he called the quartet the Readings
because he didn't want to use his
name, as it would conflict with that
of the Bards," of which organization
he was formerly member. He is one
of the original bards, so to say.
Reading is producing more athletes
than any other city in the United
States he went on. There are two
big schools there. turning out profess
sionals, and the Y. NJ. C. A. gymnasium
is noted as one Of the finest in the
world. As matter of fact, the Y. NJ.
c. A, whether it knows it or not, is
furnishing a big proportion of the ath-
letic acts that are playing over the
vaudeville circuits 1 was member
of that institution myself, once upon a
time, and took the engineering course.
You see, 1 was employed as hoist
boy in the Reading iron works. r
worked lever for an hour at a time,
then would rest an hour. 1 wanted to
learn something about engineering and
become somebody. That's how | came
to go to the Y NJ c. A. night school
and ] might have made an engineer of
myself if it hadn't been for those rest
ing periods of an hour each To re-
lax my muscles L used to stretch wires,
which had been cast into the dump
pile, from fence over a clothesj stick,
and practice wire walking. 1t came
easily to me, and the boys used to en-
courage the exhibitions So I got the
fever TO become a performer, and in
1883 I joined Lauwanda. the great
Brazilian rider, and went with him to
South America. l was 10 years old at
The San Francisco call., 1910-01-30
py0I64A~MuHAp-7<u

tention at all. In fact" Bard continued,
I'VE did a trick for several months
that was very perilous. We took our
lives or limbs in our hands every time
we did it. Did the public understand
the hazard of the stunt? Not at all.
SO we cut it out. The public knows
less about an acrobatic act than any
other form of theatrical amusement.
A dancer will be praised and applauded
when he puts in new step; a trick
pianist will get his most difficult
tricks over with ease and appreciation,
and so on down; but we poor acrobats
are usually praised highest for the
least worthy stunt, and the general
public does not dream that perhaps
six months of practice has been neces-
sary before the act is perfected for the
stage
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1910-09-29

fair, for and by Marshall county peo-
pie. A merrygorOund for the kids
and a downtown concert by the band
every evening entertained the people
apparently just as satisfactory as a
carnival would have done and kept in
the city and county several hundreds
Of dollars that would have been car
ried away in case there had been a
'aIu>al.
The Warren band under the capable
leadership of George Johnson, fur
nished high class music at the fair
grounds all afternoon and down town
in the forenoons and evenings. War
rem may we'll be proud of her band,
as few, if any, towns of the size of
Warren, can boast of a band in it's
class.
1t took considerable skirmishing
around for all the people to secure
hotel accommodations, as Warren is
short on hotels. The one thing that
the management overlooked was The
canvassing of the city for private
rooming quarters, and having a COM
mittee of citizens appointed 10 direct
the inquiring visitors to the rooms.
Warren is a good place to so to al
ways. There is a spirit of hospitality
and goodfellowship existant among
the Warren people that does not
stand out so prominently in all towns,
and that makes it pleasant to visit
the town. Whatever differences may
exist between the citizens of Warren
and men OF other parts of the county
over politics or public questions, all
is forgotten en- an occasion that con-
gregates the people of the county at
the county seat and they "all look
alike" and like good fellows to War
rem.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1910-09-29
Sept 28-Oct Is
Citation for Hearing on Final Account
and for Distribution.

Il
Estate of Hans Tveten, Decedent. 8
State of Minnesota, County Of Mar
shall, in Probate Court.
e In the Matter of the Estate Of Hans
Tveten, Decedent.
q The State of Minnesota to Anders A.
Klegstad, and all persons interested
in the final account and distribution
of the estate Of said decedent: The
representative of the above named de-
cedent, having filed in this Court his
final account Of the administration Of
the estate of said decedent, together
with his petition praying for the ad-
justment and allowance of said final
account and for distribution Of the
residue of said estate to the persons
sthereunto entitled; Therefore, You,
and Each Of You, are hereby cited and
required to show cause, If any you
have, before this Court at the Probate
Court Rooms in the City Of Warren In
the County Of Marshall, State Of Min
nesota, on the 10Th day Of October,
1910, at ten o'clock. "A. M, why said
petition should not be granted
Witness, The Judge Of said Court,
and the Seal Of said Court, this 28th
day Of September, 1910.
#(SealJ Peter II. Holm, 4
Probate Judge.
Julius Olson,
Attorney for Petitioner, 8.
Warren, Minnesota.