The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-11-05

 hit with the young female Jasper-the Jasperette, as it were"
 'Itn make you more solid than any thing else with her pepper and mom- mer, and that's very necessary when you're a candidate for their ducats as well as their daughter. You must work and you must go to church"
 'sThat can't be all Surely you can think of something else"
 'aThoses are the cardinal rules church and work until you've landed your heiress. After that you can move back to civilization. Now, as soon as you strike your town you want to make arrangements for board and lodging in some old woman's house. preferably an old maid. You'n be sure to find at least half a dozen of 'em willing to take boarders, but you want to be equally sure to pick out the tell the neighbors all about you. Don't worry about that, though They all talk. When you've moved in stocka up your room with about twenty of the driest looking books in the world. Lawbooks look most imposing. Fix up a table with lots of stationery-penS and pencils. red and black ink, and all that sort of thing. Make the room look as if you were the most sincere stu dent ever. And by no means neglect to have a well worn Bible prominently in evidence. You can buy one second hand at some bookstore before you start out"
 "Td have to, of course. I thank you for the flattery. Proceed with the pro gram of the gay, mad life must lead. I'm going to have swell time; that's perfectly plain."
 ''As soon as you're shaken down in your room make the rounds of the stores and ask for work. Try to get into the. dry goods emporium if you can The girls all shop there. But any thing will do. except grocery or. 3 hardware store and places like that. You mustn't consider any employment that would soil your clothes or rough en your lily white hands"
 You expect me to believe I'd have any chance of winning a millionaire's daughter if I were a ribbon clerk in a dry goods store?"
 '.The best in the world. The ribbon clerk is her social equal. He calls her Mary. and she calls him Joe"
 Done with you. Me for the ribbon counter! Anything else"
 'The storekeepers aren't apt to em- 9loy you at first. They'll be suspicious of you"
 They win be afterward, all right However,
 "So you must simply call on ther, walk in. locate the boss and tell hir. I'm looking; for employment Don't press it. Just say it and get out"
 "No trouble whatever about that. It's always that way when I ask fer work"
 They'll send for you before long. when they make up their minds that you're decent. moral young man, for they know you'll draw trade. And every Sunday
 '1 know-churchr'
 Absolutely! Pick out the one the rich folks go to. Go in quietly and do just as they do-stand up and kneel, look up the hymns and sing just when they do. Be careful not to sing too loud or anything like that. Just do it all modestlys as if you were used to it. Better go to church here two or three times and get the hang of it."
 Here, now
 ! Nearly all the wealthy codgers in such towns are deacons. you see. and. though they may not speak to you for months on the street, it's their busi- ness to waylay you after the service is over and shake hands with you and tell you they hope you enjoyed the sermon and ask you to come again And, you can bank on it, they'll all take notice from the first''
 'Tt's no wonder Bartlett made you a partner. Harry"
 "Now, behave. I want you to get in right If you follow the rules I've out lined, not only will all the girls in town be falling over themselves to get to you first, but their fond parents will be egging them on. Then all you've got to do is to pick out the one with the biggest bundle and"-
 Make a play for herT
 Not on your life. That would be fatal. Your part is to put yourself in her way She'll do all the courting, and when she scents the psychological moment she'll do the proposing"
 'It doesn't sound natural, but you certainly seem to know what you're drooling about"
 You can anchor on that. Nat"
 And are you finished?"
 T am. Of course I'll probably think of more things to wise you to before you go."
 Duncan laughed shortly and tilted back in his chair, selecting another cigarette. And you're the chap who wanted me to go to some bromidic old show tonight. Harry, you're immense. Why didn't you ever let me suspect you had all this romantic imagination in your system"
 '1maginatiOn be blowed, son. This Us business" Kellogg removed the stopper from the decanter and filled both glasses again. "well, what do tou sayT