davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-04-18
THE PORK BARREL.

Senator Burton, of Ohio. is to be con-
graduated for the stand he has taken
in opposition to the distribution of
pork as is contemplated in the rivers
and harbors bill which now calls for
an appropriation of So, 0O0,0 900. His
criticism is not so much against the
size of the appropriation as against
the hit and miss scheme for river and
harbor improvement which the bill car
RES. Such objections are to the point.
But they will avail nothing. This is
emphasized by a sentence in the story
telegraphed from Washington concern
ing the consideration of the bill in the
senate. Almost every senator in the
chamber has a personal interest in the
BILL is the way the sentence in ques-
ton is worded.
That's been the nubbin of all the
rivers and harbors bills of the past
through which so many millions of dol
! lars of public funds have been ruth
lessly wasted. Members of the house of
representatives and senators do not
think they are serving their constit-
uents and their contracting friends
at home as they should unless they can
get their fingers in the great congress
sional pork barreF'-the rivers and
harbors bill-and pull out an appropri-
alton of some sort for work In their
home districts or state. And because
so many of them have pet projects of
their own provided for in the bill. they
all stand together for its passage.
Deepened inland waterways and bet
ter harboP facilities are one of the rea,
necessities of this country. Every man
who has at heart an interest in the de-
velopment of the nation is in favor of
them. But they are never going to be
brought about through rivers and har-
bors appropriation bills of the same
character they have assumed for many
years past. What Is needed is the de-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-04-18
4 PRAYER FOR WORKING MEN.

The April American Magazine con-
tatns the following prayer by Walter
Rauschenbusch for all working men:
90 God, thou might1est worker Of the
universe, source of all strength and au-
thor of all unity, we pray thee for our
brothers, the industrial workers of the
nation. AS their work binds them to-
gether in common toll and danger, let
their hearts grow together in strong
sense of their common interest and des
tiny. Help them to realize that the in
jury of one is the concern of all, and
that the welfare of all must be the aim
of everyone. If any of them is tempted
to sell the birthright Of his class for a
mess of pottage for himself, give him a
wider outlook and a stronger sympathy.
Teach them to keep step in a steady
onward march, and to fulfil the law of
Christ by bearing the common burdens.
Grant the organizations of labor quiet
patience and prudence in all disputes,
and fairness to see the other side. Save
them from malice and hatred, and from
the two-edged sword of violence that
turns on those who seize it. Raise up
for them still more leaders of able mind
and large. heart, and give them grace to
follow the wiser counsel. When they
strive for the leisure and health and
better wage, grant their cause success,
but teach them not to waste their gain
on f1eeting passions, but to use it in
building fairer homes and a nobler
manhood. May the upward climb of
Labor, its defeats and its victories, in
the farther reaches bless all classes IF
our nation, and build up for the re-
public of the future great body of
workers, strong of limb, clear of mind,
fair in temper glad to labor, conscious
of their worth, and striving together
for the final brotherhood of all men"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-04-18
A Prize Dinner

In view of the innumerable COM
plants about increased cost of living
the intellectual contest instituted by a
Chicago newspaper in which a prize
was awarded for the best bill of fare
for a dinner for four persons. the
cost not to exceed forty cents. seems
of more general Importance than
such contests generally are. The
prize menu comprises Vermiceli soup,
bread and butter,veal fricasse, mashed
potatoes, Dutch slaw. baked apple,
and coffee. The omission of cocktails,
cigars, and cigarettes is quite natural;
their cost would not properly be in
cluded in the forty cents.
Indeed, at t moderate outlay of a
dime for each person the dinner is
remarkable as it stands. Doubtless its
author submitted a schedule of prices.
Vermicelli soup presupposes the ex-
istence of soup stock which cannot be
had for nothing. Veal, cabbage, and
potatoes are not cheap these days.
Not only the most ingenious economy
on the part of the cook, but poor ap-
petites on the part of the diners would
be required to make the dinner thus
planned reasonably successful.
The ordinary mind must be puzzled
to comprehend the method by which
this menu was chosen ont of 10000
submitted. Many Americans refuse to
the prejudice against it sensible, but
the fact is undisputable. There are
few, too, who avoid coffee. Persum-
ably beef could be substituted in the
stew, and tea for the coffee without
increasing the cost The reading of
10000 bills of fare to select one
worthy of a prize must require more
patience and more practical knowledge
than the reading of 1000 plays to
select one or two for performance. Yet
it is a safe guess that there was a
strong similarity between all the
menus. submitted. Astrakhan caviar,
squad, chicken, and endive, we may be
sure, appeared on none. The outcome
is scarcely revolutionary. VeFmicelli
soup, stewed veal. and mashed pota-
toes were already within the compre-
hension of the poorest housekeepers.
New York Times
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-04-18
PENSIONS FOR TEACHERS.

A movement has been set under
way in the educational circles OF To-
peka for the development of a + plan
which will provide pensions for the
school teachers in the state after they
have been in service for continued
period of years. 1t is believed that
this matter will be taken up in all
parts of the state. 1t should be, at
any rate, and it should receive all
possible encouragement.
According to the tentative plans
which have been talked over 1t is
proposed to create this pension sys-
tenn through an act of the legislature.
The idea is that the fund shall be
provided through contributions OF a
stated per cent of the salaries OF all
teachers and also by appropriations
from boards of education. This is the
method that is employed for raising
such funds in all localities in the
country where they have been estab-
Iished for school teachers. 1t is a
most equitable plan and the demand
is not unreasonable that boards of
education should help to provide
these pensions The drain on them
will not be heavy and no portion OF
school moneys could be put to bet
Ter purpose.
If there is one class of public ser
wants who are deserving of pensions
it is the school teachers. The aver
age pay they receive is far from being
commensurate with the service that is
demanded of them. In these times
when 1t costs real money and lots or
it to live there is little chance for
them to save any for the rainy day
that is to come when advanced age
will preclude the possibility of their
continuing on with their work
No doubt it is well within the truth
to say that many teachers would be
capable of doing much better work
If their future was provided against.
They would be freed from worries
that prevent them doing as we'll as
they know how. Then again. If such
a pension system were in operation
there would be no hesitancy on the
part of school boards in retiring from
service such teachers as may have
outlived their usefulness. There are
MANY in this class, in all probability,
throughout the state. 1t would be
heartless to turn them adrift after
their many years of faithful service,
but their retention in the schools is
decided handicap, especially to the
pupils who come under their charge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-04-18
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Automobiles ere surely no cran1kier
than many of the humans who run
them.
X
When it's convenient. few men have
ary trouble about losing their memoir
les.
x X \
Were LONELINESS a bar to matrimony
there would be many more old bache-
lors and old maids.
( X
If some couple did not fall in love at
first sight they certainly never would
afterNa second look
y y n
Something of rarity among men is
enc who Is perfectly satisfied with the
amount of money he is making.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-04-18
A BACHELORS CONFESSION.


There is a reason why I'm single yet
Hoy often I have loved. The blithe
Enchanted me the moment that we met.
Her sister. Frances. too, was fair to see;
I loved her for q while and she loved me;
Grace made me glad when first I went to
WOO
Heigh-ho bitterly gave her UP, too.
Clorinda had a most delightful way
OF understanding all had to say;
She made no effort to subdue her signs
The night said our sorrowful good
byes.
Oft, thinking of that parting I've been
sad,
For she had charms that would have
made me glad.
Lucille was next to cause me sleepless-
I know. too. that she would have an
virginia-ah how sweet she was. how
In her 1 found a saint. but feared to
Nay, I shall say. no more; my story's
Gray Grief has come to claim me for her
IS. q. Kiser, in the Chicago Record
Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-04-18
QUAKER NEGOTIATIONS.
TFrom the Philadelphia Record

[From the Philadelphia Record.1
We generally speak well Of the dead,
all except the dead broke
Sowing his wild oats has caused many
a fellow to raise a check
The lightest animal in the world should
be the tapir, but it isn't.
The man who sticks to the truth is sell
dom a good converse tionaliSt.
1t is easy to draw on your imagination,
but don't try to draw a check that way.
Most of US have veneration for gray
hairs except those of US who happen to
have them.
A man may speak about being resigned
when Dame Fortune has really given him
the bounce.
Blobbs-"Sportleigh clothes are rather
pronounced, aren't they?" Slobbs-"No,
they are shouted.
Lettuce should only be served when it is
young In fact, so young that you have
to wash and dress it.
No man knows how devilish small boy
can be until he becomes engaged to the
aforesaid small boys sister.
Wigg-"Gotrox says he has great deal
to put up with" Wagg--Yes. I've fire.
quently noticed that when I've been play
ing poker with him.
marked the Wise Guy Yes assented
the Simple Mug, but it is sometimes
hard to see them Take the bent pin on
a chair. for Instance
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-04-18
HUMOR OF THE DAY

FRANK, never bring that scientific man
to our house again." Whats the mat
terri" Il never saw such impudencel He
says the diamonds wear are merely an
other form of charcoal; the ideaH'-Iife
The Hated Lady-''Luck! I don't know
what it is-why, look at the divorce, even
that was CHASTITY fizzle. The Other-My
dearl But you won all along the line.
The Hated Lady-Oh, won, yesl But
think when it came Off Just when all the
bastly papers were full of nothing but
the election.-The Sketch.
Mrs. Giles (to suffragette canvasser)-
You see, mum, amt 'ad no vote since
my husband died.-Punch.
No Trouble About That-Pa-But.
young man, do you think you can make
my little girl happy2 Suitor-Do i? Say,
I wish you could a seen her when pro-
posed,-Cleveland Leader.
Rural Amenities.-Fair Passenger-But.
good gracious, why didn't the train stop
here7 IT Is supposed to. Porter-Yes, miss,
but the engine driver has Quarreled with
the station master.-Pele Mele.
When a woman steals buttonhook she
is thief. When she steals sealskin
steals a picture postcard he's thief.
When he steals a 1900 Millet he's a con-
ACKNOWLEDGMENT Plain Dealer.
Visitor-I presume you would do very
differently now II you were at liberty my
kin see now de mistakes made. never
orter have climbed dat last porch till l
cut de telephono wires. Yer can't trust
q boozin lookout, mum--chicago NeUA
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-04-18
HYHAWKER JOTS

Leavenworth. has 600 idle coal
miners, and the Ottawa Herald thinks
there is a disposition in some quarters
to trade them all for one idle attorney
general.
The only reason the city of I.arned
put salt on her streets is because 1t is
harder on the weeds and draws fewer
flies than sugar. AS far as expense
goes. the territory of which Larned is
part can put anything on it's streets
it wants to.-Ottawa Herald.
zone of our enthusiastic auto drivers
was down town yesterday with a horse
and buggy" says the Fredonia Herald.
HE kept the horses head turning like
steering wheel, and occasionally he
would grab fer an imaginary lever and
kept his foot working as on a brake
pedal"
If a. woman wishes to see how she
looks when out on a windy day, her
attention is called to the hen, says the
Atchison Globe. With every feather in
place on all other occasions, and an
example of neatness, the hen on a
windy day looks as if she had dressed
without stopping to pin on her clothes.
She is irritated and mad, and with
every feather blowing a different way,
Wind with her skirts whirling about,
and looking mad enough to bite nails.
Is spelling a lost art? The children
in the Lawrence city schools are poor
spoilers, says the Lawrence Journal.
Time was when spelling was as essen
tial as arithmetic. 1t ought to be now.
More people spell than use arithmetic.
When spelling bees were the rage the
country was full of good spoilers. Now
that such things have gone out of
fashion good spelling has gone out with
1t. Is 1t true that our system of read
ing is detrimental to good spelling?
Many people think it is. We read by
form rather than by word.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-04-18
GLOBE SIGHTS.

lFrom the Atchison Globe1
Yours is the only hobby that is not
If we were girl, we would insist
on being named Roberta.
Doesn't it often occur to you that
the devil has a grudge against you?
Every boy is willing to do some
work, and most of them specialize on
irrigating the garden with a hose and
nozzle.
Il don't care what the fools think. "
an angry man said recently Then
you don't care what anybody thinks, "
another man replied.
Since women are transgressing the
rights of men more and more each
day, how long will it be until they tip
their hats to the men?
This is the time of the year when a
man feels like giving up his business
for his hobbies, if he believes one in
terferes with the other.
When a man makes lot of money.
the people look at him as If to say,
Now what share of that do you in
tend to give to your wifes kin?''
A certain man in Atchison will new
er be content until some woman takes
poison for him, and thus forever es-
tablishes the fact that women love
him.
The girl with new low shoes, pretty
ankles and, fancy hosiery does what
she can to avoid communicating the
ny III the BeEIHS ITOul
the sidewalk.
The school teachers are having
some troubles persuading the young
er scholars that Lincoln was assassin
ated in theater, and not at a NOV
ing picture show or airdome.
Several years ago an Atchison wo-
man became famous for her home
made pies. Finally. her reputation
became so great that she employed a
professional baker to make them.
Speaking of the wisdom of age,
there are very many more foolish old
men than there are wise ones. But
it is also a fact that the young
blood idea has been greatly over
done.
What has become of the old-fash-
toned man who sat around down town
until noon. and then said, as he start
ed away: well. I'll go home and see
if the neighbors have brought in any
thing
We are pointing with pride to an
other man: he will spend as much on
his wedding trousseau as his bride
will spend on hers. Among other
things, he will buy a half dozen pairs
of silk Daiamas
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-04-18
nae De sIFE5
eM6LEkEE0
6HTERS
FOR TET TIRED FEELING

In some localities. horticulture is
considered a necessary part of the po-
Htdcal curriculum. At least a degree in
grating and trimming is consid-
cred necessary
Thus use your frog" wrote Isaak
Walton. Put your hook through his
mouth and out at his gills, and then
with fine needle sew the upper part
of his leg to your hook-and in so do
ing use him as though you loved him"
The complete anglers" idea of "using
him as though you loved him" causes
some speculation as to what the late
Izaak considered proper treatment OF
one with whom he was slightly peeved.
WHAT'S IN A NAME?
When he was named he had no hair
And so his parents called
The neighbors in, and did their share
They named him "Archi- bald
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-04-18
-NHN-
POINTED I,AItAGI<ArHs.

LFrom the Chicago News1
No poetry was ever written in a dental
parlor.
Some people would rather join the
crown than go to heaven.
All cats remind us of most women; they
think they can sing.
The few matches made in heaven do not
worry the match trust.
A mans idea of house cleaning is to
have his winter whiskers removed.
Speaking of her callers. a spinster says
single men are doubly welcome.
Some things are better in the past or
future tense, but kissing isn't one of
them
A man can induce a woman to agree
with him by appearing to agree with her.
Matrimony is about the only thing that
will take all the conceit out Of a silly
woman.
It's awfully hard to believe that the
man who found the goods on you made
the discovery by accident.
When a woman says she enjoys being
caught in a rain it's a sign that she be-
lieves it is good for her complexion.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-04-18
FROA OTHER PENS
A wOATING COTTRT-

Governor Clark, of Alaska, believes
in facilitating the course of justice.
He has been assigned to duty in a
wide territory, characterized by an
almost total lack of transportation
facilities. The people are scattered
All the equipment of administration is
necessarily somewhat crude, and the
conditions favor slackness of the or
binary judicial processes which in
more highly organized community
are brought into close relations with
the people. Governor C1ark'S idea is
to take the law to the settlements in
stead of making the residents go to
the law. He will put the federal court
of the territory on a revenue cutter
at the beginning of summer and will
send 1t along the entire coast line
from Seward around to the mouth of
the Yukon By this means he Will in
sure the trial during the season of all
the cases of 1awlessness that have
accumulated durine the winter. The
judge will carry with him on the
steamer a deputy marshal. a deputy
United States attorney and grand
and a petit jury, the whole machin-
cry for finding indictments and de-
termining guilt. AS fast as convictions
are found the prisoners will be car
ed for by the deputy marshal on
board the cutter, which will thus be-
come both a floating courthouse and
a movable jail At the end of the
season this combination palace of
justice and penitentiary will move
back south and discharge It's human
cargo at some central point of deten-
Star.
GENTLEMEN CONVICTS.'
Now comes the warden of the West
ern penitentiary at Pittsburg and de-
clares that because of the presence of
so many gentlemen conVicts" in that
institution, stripes are henceforth to
be practically abandoned The con-
spicuous garb hurts the feeling of
these gentlemen" says the warden,
embitters them and impedes the work
of reform. Therefore, natty blue uni
forms. with class letters. are to be
substituted for the time honored dress.
All of which is very engag ing. What
are these gentlemen in prison for?
we would like to ask Have thew been
nut there to make them good, or to
punish them for having been bad? If
the latter. was there ever a punish
rnent which did not hurt the feelings
of the person to whom it was admin
istered?
The truth is that there is entirely
too much maudlfn sentiment in these
matters. Nobody is more in favor
than we are of putting the man who
has done wrong on his feet again if
it be possible to do so and of making
a useful citizen of him. but If he has
sinned he should be made to bear the
punishment of his sin. and even when
he has earned and obtained forgive
ness there Is no reason why that for
giveness should involve forgetfulness
News and Courier.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-04-18
Sunhower Seeds.

CAN YOU SEE2
The wind seems to trouble some OF
our people but that isn't very strange
II always does that. for there are times
when it doesn't blow hard enough, see?
Cove County Republican-Gazette
BIGG HOUSE IN ZURICH.
H. J. Bigg hauled lumber from Plain
vile for a new house 2Sx32 near Zurich
last Notwithstanding Gazette.
AND BACON 30 CENTS A POUND,
F. o. Painter has a stray shoat at his
place which has been there about three
weeks. Weight about 80 pounds. -
looks like it had been fed on wind and
Kansas scenery and has been practic-
ing on the race course.-Athol Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-04-18

A favorite thought among us Impe-
cunious Guys is: What would I do II
some misguided millionaire should
hand me $10O.00O?" This l. G. has doped
it out thus: First. wake up. II that
isn't sufficient. fall dead. Satisfied as
to these simple details. the I. @. saves
lots of time which would otherwise be
spent in spending the 100000.
The Willing Worker who is canvass
ing for funds to send a missionary to
the cannibals. needn't apply to this de-
partment. Let the blamed cannibals
rustic their own meat.
Speaking Of concentrated gall" says
Jack Supp" a bill collector called at
my house the other day, and my wife
showed him the door. Now that hole
in the house is covered with a blanket.
He took the door"
There is little that man can call his
own A man may have red hair-but
1t isn't his. Although he inherited Il
from a parent he is simply holding Il
in trust for his children.
"A SIGN OF SPRING"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-04-18
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
[From the New York Press.1

From the New York Press.1
Too many matchmakers spoil the
romance.
A man can admire himself for the
way his wife forgives his failings.
Life is full of pain; a few men get
hanged; most men get married.
When a girl has married sister
it's a sign she is going to try to run
her love affairs for her.
A woman believes in love ahead of
everything else. so that when IL comes
out behind she can still go on believ-
inR
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-04-18

Some of the friends of the now ia
nous Fairbanks expedition are will
ing to bet 100000 that it reached
the summit of one of the Mount Nc
Kinley peaks. They seem to forget
that betting is mighty poor argu-
ment, and the larger the bet the
poorer the argument
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-04-18

Not only is Colonel Roosevelt an
American, but he wasn't born yester-
day, either. Quite properly. therefore,
he refused to give even Emperor
Francis Joseph of Austria an oppor-
tunity to slip one over on him and
declined the royal invitation to par
ticipate in a "capercailzie,' hunt Mr..
Roosevelt might we'll be pardoned for
thinking that such is the Austrian
name for "snipe''
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-04-18
}. Rockefeller

John D. Rockefeller is playing
such good golf these days that he
keeps his friends in all parts of the
country posted by kilograms on the
scores he makes. He should enter
the National Golf tournament by all
means. It's rather selfish of him to
keep the light of his golf playing hid
among the bunkers and other hazards
of a private golf links
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-04-18

Evidently Colonel Bryan does not
propose to allow Colonel Roosevelt to
pose as the only faunal naturalist Of
any account among the public men of
this country. The Nebraskan has
brought with him from South America
two llamas. a Siamese cat and a mon
key. Brother Bryan would appear to
have a little the better of the argu-
ment, too. His specimens are alive
while those sent home by T. r., are
dead ones.