The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1910-12-29
GLACIER SLIDES

Maids of Hood River, you are sweet.
but YOU have the blamedest feet! J
have roamed in many lands, Mime
sota's ice and Utah's sands, Idaho
deserts and Wyoming hills, by the
shaded eastern rills-but in no state
did meet, maidens with so widespread
feet. Maids OF Hood River, are your
shoes larger than you need to use! DO
YOU wear them, gentle maid, Just 10
help the leather trade. Surely all
those shoes we meet, are not filled
with women's feet.
This paper recently received an ar
ticle for publication. The gentlemen
who sent it evidently wanted to start
an explosion. The Glacier is not
powder magazine.
A Hood River woman visited Port
land last week and while there had
her fortune told, and the fortune teller
told her that he was going to get two
big chunks Of money in few days.
She goes to the p0stolfice every morn
ing.
Do YOU old Wrnkle-eye cusses ever
think of the fool things you did when
you were young? No!
A Hood River man is ambitious and
wants to become prominent, so that
when he is sick the doctor will issue
bulletins announcing his condition.
There is said to be seven party
dresses in town that have not been
sprung.
A Hood River woman touched her
tongue to a flatron the other day to
see if it was hot. From the eyolu-
tions she made it was evidently quite
warm.
If certain Hood River man would
laugh more he would not be bothered
with the dyspepsia.
The wire fencing underwear has dis
appeared from the display windows.
Did you ever notice that popcorn turns
white when it pops. An Oregon poll
tican turns red.
1t is ever so much cooler this morn
ing, reason: the HandhOlders Union
held meeting last night.
If you kick too much it will wear
out your shoes very quick. Moral:
Don't kick.
Since speckled socks have gone out
of style our machine man ought to
tie down the ends of his pants.
We don't blame the young things
for kissing each other at the depot
Sunday evening as they had not seen
each other since the night before.
Since the girls have commenced to
wearing "coal-skuttIe" hats they are
being accused Of having low fOreheads.
You'd laugh If you knew the Hood
River sporty young fellow who rode
from The Dalles here in freight car
the other night.
A Hood River young lady said she
thought l3 an unlucky number, be-
cause last summer she took trip and
slept in a Pullman berth No. l3 and
was sick all the time.
There is one Hood River man who,
wishing to be economical since Christ
mas, is now wearing his wife's leather
belt for a four-in-hand.
There's one church member in Hood
River, who has the faculty Of dropping
nickel in the basket in such n way
that it sounds like a keg of spikes had
been dumped into a galvanized wash
tub.
A newly married man who runs the
Monday morning washing machine
always knows when wash day comes,
because his wife gives him "Vigor"
for breakfast.
A Hood River girl is wearing a
diamond ring this week and more than
I,l - oh. k, diamond
on the inside Of her finger to suppress
suspicion.
A red flag is signal to stop so is a
red nose.
The young lady who is wearing a
race track hat has an awful time in
reaching the hat pin.
With turkeys at 30 cents a pound one
didn't have to eat very much to make
a hog of himself last Sunday.
Now is the time for the butchers to
advertise remnant sales of turkeys.
1t is proper for church widow tC
firt bit, for the Bible says the
widows mite,
Those who expect to get a bil
through the legislature for the "peo
pies special benefit should begin t,
get busy.
1t must be admitted that the Decem
ber weather in Hood River beats the
band.
From the number of weddings re
ported for the near future, marriage
is going to make the supply of million
aires rather short for the first of tn
new year.
The man who thinks that woma
talk is cheap, ran up against the rea
thing the other day and got intereste
in conversation with "A lady over tn
long distance phone, doesn't think $
since the bill has Deen presented t
him.
Did you ever notice that near bee
makes some people Aeshy and other
lean against something?