The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1910-10-12
STORY OF THE BANQUET.
As Reported to the Public and Told In
Shop.

4 S it was printed: YOnkville's wit
| "a test and clevereSt people com
binpd 10 do honor last night To
the distinguished guest of the city.
! Hon. Charles E. Benkins. at "A banquet
| held in the dining room of the Yonk
vile House From the moment that
| the walters placed the oyster cocktail
at each place 10 the brilliant pprora-
| ton of the hast speaker the affair was
feast. first of delicious viands and
| afterward OF epigram. wit and oraiory
The menu was elaborate. The service
perfect: the cut glass. silver and snowy
napery CLEANED under the diffuSe4i ra-
| dance of the electric lights. and the
! scene was rendered still more attrac
tive by the flower AT each plaIe and the
interviewer flags thai partially mid the
! ceiling
! Mayor Bloom acted as POSTMASTER
| and proved amply equal TO the ameni-
ties of the position He was ebullienf
with facile jest and delightful pleas
antry. having II honmot for every
guest and Il story 70 I'll each speaker
as he was introduced.
Space forbids a detailed chronicle Of
the toasts. now glowing with gentle
| humor. now sparkling like the effer
vescent champagne which dubbed in
every glass. now tinged with the deep
err hueS of pathoS or flaming with the
fires of oratorical splendor. but the
| -, e - all to found in, 70
statement that the banquet was a
typical Yonkville success.
|
As told In the newsroom: Gimme
cigarette. Martin; I'm all in. The old
| man sent me to cover a big feed at
the YOnkville House. given for Charlie
Benkins Good fellow. Benkins. but
the hosts were the same old bunch of
frowsy wits that always give banquets
in this mans town.
"Say, they've told the stories they've
all been telling at every banquet for
the past ten years. and 1t WASH
enough for Bloom. our worthy mayor
of course they had him for funeral
director-it wasn't enough for him to
stop with the list of mopes on the pro-
gram, but he called on every blooming
antediluvian who had helped to pay
for the feed, until even the most per-
sistent banqueter present was praying
the next man would get cramps and
perish in fit.
Bloom dug up all the ancient ones
bis grandfather had sprung when he
presided at banquet to Stephen A
Douglas in 1854. but they got the big
laugh all right Why shouldn't they
He had the whole city hall there to
make q noise like mirth.
"As for the grub-well, a flock OF os'
triches would have found it palatable
but to make human beings eat 1t was
violation OF the laws against cruelty
, to animals.
THAT crowd OF senile tion0genarians
/ they call walters only spilled soup O.
half the guests. and for fully thirC
of the time they filled the glasses with
out running them over on the cottor
tablecloth. They had Rhine wine and
seltzer instead of champagne. but no
body knew the difference.
Decorations? Same they had II
1SS9-they never have taken then
! down. The flowers must have cost ZEN
all of 10 cents the dozen. And when 1
came to the speeches-colonei. I've sa
through three-hour sermons and neve
yawned. but only a speedometer couit
nave kept tab on the number OF nc.
yawns when the speechmaking bega
tonight.
Now I've got to write merry 1ittl
bit of falsehood 10 which say 1t wa
great affair But IL you ever hav
the choice of going TO jail or a ban
! ouet, take Jail. l know."-Berton Bra
J ley. IN Puck