Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1910-02-11

visitor-What have you IN arctic lit
erature? Librarlan--Cook books and
yodicals.-Brooklyn Life.
Don't you hate to find worm when
you're eating fruit? well, not SO
much as finding half a worm!
81 want one of the new spotted face
wells, please" "Yes, madam. Specked,
spattered, or splotched?"-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Wife (reminiscing)-Well, l very
nearly didn't marry you, John. John
(absent-mindedly)- know-but who
told you?-The Sketch.
"If invites awake. I'll shay:
'M'dear, brought y some c'sath' NUNS
-chrysthmus- us-chrasythums'-hang it!
Wish I'd got roses. Life.
Borrowell-I have no use for that
fellow Bjones. Wigwag-Yes, Bjones
is one of those fellows who object to
being used.-Philadelphia Record.
what do they mean by an 'endur-
uuCo IcSI lWO CudPS pid6SihS
about their respective makes Of auto
mobiles. Springfield Republican.
1--WE just figured out how the Venus
de Milo came to lose her arms"
"How?" "Shc broke them of trying TO
button her shirtwaist up the back
The Jewish Ledger.
THE audience is calling you," the
playwright was informed. II hear
them," he answered. "Show me the
quickest way to get out of here
Birmingham Age-Herald.
"New-mown hay Is delightful per-
fume; we sell lots of It," Haven't
you something with gasoline odor?
l want people to think l own a motor
car, not horse. Life.
Mrs. Newbride = Boohoo! Henry
threw biscuit at me. One that
made myself, too! Mother-The mon
ster! He might have killed you'll
The United Presbyterian.
Hoax-Out in Arizona he is known
as bad man. Joax-Is that so? Did
he ever kill any one? Hoax-Oh. yes.
Joax--What make Of car does he
drive?-Philadelphia Record.
VisitorLCan you read the past?
Fortune Teller-Certainly That's my
business. Visitor-Then | wish you'd
tell me what it was my wife told me
to get for her!-Boston Globe.
do you want employment" asked
the sympathetic woman. Il dunno wot
dat is, ma s.m," replied the husky hobo,
but ef it's ennything ter eat, youse
may gimme a few."-Chicago Daily
News.
Judge-Ill have to fine ye fifty dol.
lars for exceeding the speed limit.
Jack Scorcher-Look here, judge, this
young lady and want to get married.
Remit the fine and you get the job
Brooklyn Life.
Whale-What are you going to tell
your wife when you get home? Jonah
don't know; I don't suppose she
would believe me If l should tell her
that l had been to fish dinner
The Bohemian.
You don't know what that's pic
ture of, johnny" said Mrs. Lapsling,
in a tone of reproof you ought to
read your ancient history more. That
is the temple of Dinah at Emphasis"
Chicago Tribune.
Cynicus-It is impossible for wom-
an to keep a secret. Henpeckke-I
don't know about that; my wife and
were engaged for several weeks before
she said anything to me about it,
Philadelphia Record.
Are you in favor of votes for wom-
en?" "Yes. Perhaps II we can get
them to think more about votes they
will think less about clothes. l have
four daughters who are growing up."
Chicago Record-Herald.
Speaking of Joy rides, did you ever
have a real oner' NO" Never go
out in a buggy along a shady lane.
with a plug Of horse and the only
girl in the world? Say, you don't
know what life it"-Public Ledger.
Reporter-Mr. Cummin, have you
the manuscript of the after-dinner
speech you delivered at that banquet
last night? Ketchum A. Cummin
(with a gasp)-Did deliver a speech
there, young man? Whose?-Chicago
Tribune.
1.-THE starvation experiences Of those
English suffragettes were trying"
"Yes," answered Miss Cayenne; -it's
pretty hard to be obliged to stop crit
icizing the public policies Of great
government in order to find fault with
its cooking."-Washington Star.
J "Over here" said the Arab guide
1--WE have another mummy. From the
; cooking utensils found near her, she ID