davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-04-16

pose, is to, write another book and then
hang on, eh?'
Il told him to peel on his coat ana go
right at the other book and deliver 1T to
me at the earliest possible moment and
l gave him tidy check for advance roy
alties on the still unwritten book, at that
81 mention the case of this young au-
thor because it is a typical one. With
respect to a book, no matter which way
the cat of public popularity jumps, most
authors are inclined to be dissatisfied and
to develop the notion that they are get
ting the worst OF it at the publishers
are good gamblers. They don't want to
take any chances. They want the sure
thing every time. Now, any publisher who
knows his business will tell you that
nowadays every book of fiction, unless 1t
is written by an author who has already
arrived, is a straightout gamble.
But the author in about nine cases out
Of ten. expects the publisher to do all Of
the gambling and to take all Of the
if unconscious believer in the heads 1
win, tails you lose system.
Quantity enough. the majority OF new
authors want the publishers to buy their
books outright. They've heard that only
ABOUT one DOCK III MY ever pays IoI tHo
printing, electrotyping and binding Of the
first edition, and they don't like these 80
to shots. So they want to sell outright.
II the book looks pretty good, and we
do buy it outright. paying what we gauge
it to be worth-which is always very
large cut indeed from what the author
thinks 1t is worth-and the book Is go
right from the start. why, the author Is
surly and disconsolate over 1t. He Is glad
that his book is success, OF course, out
he has a childish feeling that his publish
ers have done him. and his pouting is
something dismal to contemplate.
'If, on the other hand. the new author
gives ear to the publishers counsel, and
disposes of his book on the royalty basis,
and the book falls dead. the writer not
getting anything like as much out of 1t as
he would have got had he sold 1t out
right, why, there again he has griev-
ance, and he fares forth into the high
ways and byways and tells everybody he
meets what crafty, close-f1sted Old
Scrooge lot the publishers are.
occasionally there's an author who
takes sporting view Of these things, and
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-04-16

in these days OF dramatised novels to re-
serve one-haf the dramatic rights OF o
novel In the contract. The clause IL in
serted in ali contracts for books OF nc
ton. as a matter of course.
Once In a while some author spins
along who makes kick over the CLAUSE
but ordinarily the authors sor: of skip
this clause altogether. having little idea
that anybody will ever want to use their
book for stage purposes. And when they
skip the clause and sign the contract.
one-half the dramatic rights belong 10
us as a matter OF course
This Is what happened in the case o!
a pretty good seller we published q year
ago last spring. The author didn't pay
any attention to the clause as to the
dramatic rights. and signed the contract
giving US one-half of those rights When
the book got to going well a number OF
different adapters for the stage got hold
OF 1t simultaneously and saw at once that
They Immediately dug the author up, and
the first thing he knew he had them bid
ding, and in pretty good sums, too, for
the dramatic rights to his book.
Then he came down here TO me. q
good deal elated.
Say he said to me. I'm going 60
have that book dramatized.
Fine said I. Who's going to drama
tiZe 1t"
He mentioned the name OF a Well
known stage adapter.
Good thing. said /. You send him
down to me, and I'll talk to him and give
him the figure for the dramatic rights.
own half the dramatic rights, you know
He was UP in the air in less than
second. storming and throwing his arms
around. I showed him the contract he
had signed. He swore that he'd never
even read that clause in the contract. and
he declared that 1t would be simply swim
ish-thats the cute word he ueed-on my
part to hang on to any part of the dfa
matte rights when they clearly belonged
to him. morally. anyhow, in spite of the
mean old contract.
1T was a rough house sort of a time
we had of it here over that little point,
and I wasn't the loser, either. At that.
I believe If the young man hadn't ragged
and stormed at me the way he did, I'd
have been willing to give the major per
centage of the dramatic rights.
But didn't. I just remained swibish.'
CLARENCE L. CULLEN.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-04-16

call the Amontillado House, OF something
like that-had regular Spanish patio
(you savvy patioD in the middle and
so on. Gee whizz. but what glorious
er-muskallonge ] used to catch in the
waters around Jamaica. and How's
that? No muskies around Jamaica? No
muskies in sea water at all? Only catch
muskies in lakes and things up north?
I said tarpon. didn't ]? Well, tarpon
what meant, anyhow. Jee-ru-sa-lem.
but what corking pompano-I' mean tar
pon--I used to catch down around ia
maica, I'm. ma-an!
"B'jinks, it makes me lonesome even
to think about Jamaica. and Ill have to
have another wallop at that place one
of these days. Say, Is the grave of that
Spanish girl in the little cemetery out
side of Jamaica still kept tidy and COW
cred with tropical flowers and all that?
What? You didn't visit the grave Of
the Spanish girl? You didn't hear about
the famous grave of the Spanish girl
in the quaint little old-fashioned ceme
terry outside of Jamaica?
\ X
MY boy. what do you travel for, any
how? Just to sleep and eat? Don't you
ever take a peek at anything worth while
when you're travelling?
why. the grave Of that Spanish
something like t4.at-used to be the most
romantic spot for tourists to visit around
Jamaica when / was doing my prowiing
stunts way back yonder. and 1t seems
perfectly inconceivable to me, deed it
does, that folks shouldn't visit Loreta's
grave now-Rosita's, mean. Did I say
Chiquita? Well, I meant Violetta. just
as I've said-Chiquita. that is to say
Say, dye mean to say you've never even
heard about that grave. much less seen
it? Well, well.
1T seems that that Spanish girl, who
was an orphan child or something like
that, fell in love with an adventurous
young Englishman who visited Jamaica
somewhere around the beginning OF the
nineteenth century, and he was all ready
to up and marry her when his English
wife from the county Of Northumberland.
in England, showed up just at the critical
moment and Grabbed the ceremony. and
SO what does Bulbulita-I means Chiquita--
do but take the business to heart SO badly
that she jumps into swamp full of ALI
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-04-16

outbursts, due to the surge of the cosmic
or the indefnable approximation Of the
primitive in man by the approach Of the
rejuvenatory season, but 1 seriously pro-
test, sir, against such demonstrations as
must inevitably result in the interruption
of that sequence and continuity OF intel
lectual 1ntrOspec. essential to the abb
sorption Of the fundamentals Of Christian
dogma as contained in this interesting
volume in which I was submerged at the
time. l."
Hold on cried Mr. Roberts, gasp
ing for breath, what's coming off
here?'
"suh.'' said the embryo pastor, los
ing the ministerial nicely of expression
in his excitement, Mr.. Newcomb he
just bounced q clam shell of my head"
lis this true, sir" asked Mr.. Roberts
Of Newcomb. preserving his gravity
by fearful effort.
Not quite Newcomb replied, look
ing guilty and embarrassed.
Here's the bump it raised" cried
Hawkins. pointing to his brow.
"Oh, I'll confess that I hit him. said
Newcomb, but it, wasn't with a clam
shell. It was a muffin"
"A WHAT" cried the janitor and the
congressman, in unison.
"A muffin, replied Newcomb. with
desperation This morning 1 got up
early, and as I have been kicking about
the variety Of hot bread served up by
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-04-16

come upon half dozen or so Of acquaint-
ances who have gone through the same
performances.
In one Of our timely articles on this
subject last summer in this place 1t was
sugxested that you Immediately inform
the returned vacationer. as soon as he
opens his trap to tell you where he's
been, that you yourself have visited that
place time and again, thus beating him
to II and taking the wind out OF his
sails This scheme however. has the
demerit that he's liable to pin you down
and snag you IN An a., aa nosvh ncu to NOR or
vent him from getting in a word edge
wise.
A variation, therefore. IL submitted for
use upon the returned winter vacationer
You may still tell him that you've visit
ed the resort from which he has just
arrived, quite q number of years ago,
though. the last time" 1t Is well to add.
to account for possible defects in your
ity to begin to tell you what he saw
you proceed, working with great velocity,
to tell him what you did not see at that
place many years ago.
illustration: Your Just-returned ac-
quaintance bears down upon you as
you're starting out for lunch. say. and
from the expression OF his countenance
you promptly perceive that he has it In
mind to. herd you into corner and
tell YOU ali about ais recent little voyage,
the fellers in the poker game on the
steamer. the palms he saw rising from
the sea, how many queeny dolls he
trapped there with his winning ways. and
SO on.
what no. old top!" you hail. beating
him to tho opening tthis IL importantly.
you look like you've had all the fun
there was and then a few. Where you
been. hey?'
Just had the greatest little cruise you
ever heard of in all your born days, old
hoss," he begins. Your greeting. y'see.
has <ickled him. and he imaginss that
he has you fairly hooked for D listening
victim. '.I newer saw such 49,"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-04-16

me. After beating about the bush for
a while he sort of shambled to the
BOOK had been h going SINCE oT hes so
out. and then he asked me whether, in
view of all that, I didn't think it would
be only the. fair thing to offer him at
least portion of the rake-off. 1t was.
you perceive. the straightest kind Of a
case of the baby act.
why should 1 do what you sug-
gest" I asked him. You sold me the
On, yes. he was willing to admit all
that. But when he'd sold out his in
terest he'd no idea that it was going
to continue to bound along the way 1T
he had chiseled himself the way he
land yet 1 said to him, when you
sold out to me for $4,000 you were con-
tho1ght. in fact. that I'd be coming
out at the little end Of the horn on
the wei Sed th aag y at the time
his selling out that the $4,000 PROPOSE
ton would be fair shake all around.
he said, but as the sales had turned
Well. his attitude was so childish
that I became q bit warm over it. In
my warmth I fell into parable; .,,,
Look here | said to him. you N.
"T wish I didn't he replied. mourn
fully.
All right said I. Now, supposing
that last fall, we'll say, you'd sold me
bunch of gold mine stock that at
the time of selling you didn't consider
At to stop up a broken window pane.
And supposing a sure-enough strike
had been made at that mine after you'd
unloaded the stock on me, making the
stock worth a whole pot Of money.
Would you. in such case. come to me
with BOBBY face and ask me for
share Of the profits On the stock that
you'd unloaded on me with the idea
that it was utterly N. G.? Would you
consider yourself in any way. even
morally, If not legally. entitled to. any
Of my rake-off on that mining stock?
You're right, and I'm cry baby
said the young man in reply to that,
his gameness asserting itself.
light, but can see that It's the same
thing. Only thing for me to do. sup
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-04-16

good time In sending you out there to
the farm of your folks, but II you can't
see it, why, that, of course. ends 1t.
You never think Of or consider me. as
q matter Of course. You think only OF
yourself That's come to be an under
stood thing. 1t would be too much to
expect you to consider that need kind
of a change and a rest from-well. rest
once in while.
That's where all you married women
make a miserable mistake. You hang
and hang and hang on to man, and
never give him Ave inches OF rope or a
run for his money or chance for his
taw marble, and the result of course Is
that he becomes harness sore or tired
Or
What's that? Now, never mind putting
words into my mouth. I didn't say that
I wanted YOU away from me. ! merely
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-04-16

tive Roberts Of Massachusetts, The other
day. In a playful mood. he took from his
watch pocket a small, round, nat object.
about the diameter and thickness OF
silver dollar, and sailed 1t at the colored
iantor of the committee. one Hawkins.
who is studying for the ministry and who
was sitting at the other end Of tho room
peacefully engaged In psrusinS "The Pill
grims Progress or some other equally
frivolous work.
The small round object sped as true as
q die and bounced of the embryo minis
ters brow He let out yell and sped
into Mr. Roberts private office.
'Mr. Roberts, said the janitor- minis
ter II am not averse to indulgence by
Mr. Newcomb In occasional effervescent
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-04-16

in his scrutiny of our sales accounts.
Seeing that the book was not going so
well, he figured that it would be
pretty wise thing for him to get from
under with an additional profit. He
was In need Of money after his unsuc-
cessful effort to put the bucket shops
out Of business.
$50 he came to me and offered to sell
s ~ interest In the BOOK '0' pa
Il advised him to do nothing Of the
sort. told him, what. of course, is a
fact we'll known to publishers. that
their second wind and coming again.
SO to speak, and that he therefore
stood a pretty good chance to make a
lot more than 81 600 out of his book If
he'd only be patient and walt Tor MS
royalties.
However. he couldn't and wouldn't
see it. He had it all figured out that
his piece OF fiction had seen its little
heyday and that he'd be putting one
over en u.s. o the Of Ris book soei for
remaining interest in it,
Well. seeing that he wasn't ready to
listen to my argument. save MIN tne
$1,000 he was so keen for, and ne
signed away his interest In the copy
right. It was a bit Of gamble with
us, too you are to understand. yet we
had a fair right to presume that a book
that had sold $4,000 copies In -FOUR
months would, even II the sales were
letting down a bit. go on winning out
at least enough to make good for the
$4,000 we were paying out to acquire
complete title to the book.
CAS- it happened. the thing fell our
way. Not long after we had given the
author the $4,000 he was so eager TO
obtain for his interest the book began
to sail along again quite remarkably.
/ don't mind admitting, Of course. that
we did bit Of extra advertising and
booming for the book as soon as we
had got hold of the complete title to
it. and, of course, this helped to give
the piece Of fiction it's second wind
"As q matter Of fact. since buying the
writer's interest we've sold nearly $4,000
copies of the book, and it's still going
ahead at pretty profitable clip for US.
We'll, the writing young man, OF
course, heard how we'll his book was
doing after he had disposed Of his In
terest for $1,000 and it grueled him.
"A few days ago he came in to see
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-04-16

sators-what. no alligators in Jamaica?
Wen, there sure were alligators there
when this thing was puIled-and she
fought like wildcat when they tried to
rescue her from the hippopotamuses--
that is to say, the alligators-in the
swamp that We're trying to get her. and
she succeeded in fighting her rescuers of.
but they got her after she'd been drown
ed and before the swordfish--I mean al
ligators-snagged her. and they buried her
in little mound in the old-fashionsd
cemetery In the outskirts of Jamaica, a
cemetery rendered pathetic and naive b.
the presence there Of many old pirates OF
the Spanish main-the bodies Of the pi
rates-that is to say-and when ] was
down there 1 heard lots Of old-time ia
maica folks say that the wrath Of Lark
spurita-Chiauita, I mean-the Spanish
maiden. appeared in the streets OF ia
maica at midnight every year on the an
niversary Of her sad self-destruction.
THAT sure was one Of the most inter-
esting legends I heard down around ia
maica. and I sure am surprised, old boy,
that you didn't hear about Evangelita-
Evangelita was her second name. Chi
quita being her f1rst-when you were down
there.
well, matey, you're looking 'mense.
Hate to get down to work again, hey!
Well. on my way now-got a lot o. peo-
pie to see. Glad to see you back-s'longr'
and you hike. leaving him standing there
dazed, all OF his conversation still Inn
prisoned in his midriffs.
The chances are more than even that
he'll really believe that you visited ia
maica. because you've told him about
something that he failed to see. The fact
that neither you nor anybody else ever
saw the thing described isn't germane to
the point, which is that you are DESTROYS
Of getting away at the earliest possible
moment and leaving the least possible
suspicion and resentment In his mind.
This plan, Of course. is not feasible in
case the returned winter tourist informs
you that he has been visiting the Java
nese settlements or the Straits OF Sunda
mot the Straits OF Sunday, good compoeIp
tor. as you recently made 1t In this piacA
for in respect OF such places you arc NS-
bic to commit a geographical error or
two. But for all ordinary purposes the
scheme Is quite practicable. the idea, q
will be seen. being to confuse and rendor
tongueless and rudderless the returned
winter cruiser before he has had . cha,,nS
to tell you single, solitary thing aboa1
1t. CLARENCE L CUBAN
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-04-16

/ had q
talk with q New
ork publisher
who has been SIN
gularly successful
In getting hold OF
best sellers" on
what he called the
un r easonableness
Of authors.
Most of the
fiction writer's Of
my acquaintance
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-04-16

a dinky little settlement there then-noth-
Ing like the place 1t is now, with all the
winter tourists hitting 1T up and all like
that
''They tell me there are some bully
modern hotels there now, but the hotel
I used to stay at when / went there was
joke. Just little three-story shack
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-04-16

Last time I was there was-what?
Didn't know I'd been there? Ha. ha.
That's queer. My dear boy, I've done
a heap of queer shopping around.
Now. femme see, when was 1t that l
was last at Jamaica? Must have been
good seventeen years ago. Nothing but
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-04-16

boat" says he. futilely, land sa-ay.
matey, If that place
"Ha, so you've been cruising down to
Jamaica, hey7" you rattle right In at
this point. ''How the very mention of
that little old quaint place fetches back
to me the old and buried memories
vince!
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-04-16

D you don't feel
like visiting your
folks out In Ohio
for a couple of
months this COM
ing summer, Ell p
said Mr.. Grump at
dinner the other
evening, fetching
up the summer
plans. "Oh, all
right. / only meant
TO let YOU have a
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-04-16

Asst summer we
used up. at inter-
walls. quite q lot OF
this perfectly good
space In Offering
suggestions as to
how to dag the re.
turned summer va
cationers who In
sist upon giving Q
long, rambling ana
yawn = manufactur-
ing account to ev-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-04-16

after week, month after month, year
after year. and slave and toll and MOL
for the coin, and he's never allowed an
inch Of leeway or sea room, and he's
under the gun from the time he gets
I'D until he turns in at night and he's
never allowed to enjoy the companion
ship of bright people that he might be
on all sorts of chunmy terms with IL
he weren't tangled up in connub1al
ARRANGEMENT that gives him the worst
Of it from beginning to end, and when
the whole blamed business gets on his
nerves and becomes bore, and he even
hints at such things as an occasional
little chance to get off by himself for
spell, SOS he can think for himself and
get back to his normal individuality,
"How's that? Is It conceivable that a
married woman ever gets tired Of the
same sort of monotony? You can Just
bet 1t is, and-er-
Now say, look a-here, am 1 to under
stand that you're getting your kicking
clothes on? Who said anything about
monotony? / haven't used that word for
five years to my certain knowledge. Mo-
notony. hey? So you find it monotonous
around your home, do you? Ohio! So
that's the lay of the land, is it?
'tOh, we'll, go as far as you like. I'm
getting armor plated to cracks like that,
and + Oh, I'm complaining all the
time am I? That's it; adopt the old,
old feminine dodge of trying to sidetrack
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-04-16
-~DB NEwCOMB.

D B NEwCOM b,
one-tiine star Of the
Yale track team,
W h o g e record for
the indoor quarter
mile remains I'M
broken to this day,
is employed at the
Capitol as clerk Of
the House commit
tee on private land
claims and secre-
tary to Representa-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-04-16

Hear about the way that book of
yours Is going?' I asked aim.
Yes said he. Seems to be winner,
doesn't she?'
oh, it's only third in the list of the
years best selling books. that's ALL told
him.
I've been reading a lot OF stuff about
the way the things travelling along said
he, not at all .perceiving that I had any
thing in mind for him. Guess ia better
sell the next one to you folks on the roy
atty basis, eh?'
the royalty basis, 1 told him, pulling the
contract for the outright sale Of the book
for $500 out of drawer and tearing it
into bits before his eyes. This FIRMS
got soft spot for writing folks thatve
got some sporting blood in them and that
don't do the baby act and wrote him a
check for his royalties at the regular rate
up to that date, sum amounting to more
than $1,000.
IT'S not often that you'll see a full
grown man come so near falling down
for no apparent reason as that one did
when he cast his eye over the check. And
I beg to assure you that it was by no
means because we wanted to retain so
valuable man on our list Of authors
that we decided to give him full royalties
on winning book that he had sold out
right to us for So inconsiderable sum.
compared with the profits. as $500. He'd
never have got it had he whimpered or
demanded it as right.
'In other respects, too, We find some Of
the authors extremely unreasonable and
hard to get on with. Nobody expects a
writer of fiction to be good business
man, but you'd naturally suppose that
such people would read a contract, any
how, before signing it. We had a fine old
riotous time of it in this Office a few
months ago just because a new author
on our list had failed to read the terms
of the contract he signed in delivering the
book to US.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-04-16

Where was it?' you rap at him as
IL ksenly interested, but really for the
purpose Of forcing him to begin from the
beginning.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-04-16

our cook lady I thought I'd turn out
few mullins by way Of example. I guess
I must have forgotten something or
other. because they settled instead of
rising"
That afternoon, when I dropped in
the room Of the committee on private
land claims Hawkins exhibited to me
the bump on his head and the muffin.
There have been occasions. sir.
said he. having fully recovered his
poise and vocabulary by this time.
when quite inadvertently I have eaten
articles OF food which 1 could not, un-
der any circumstances, even the most
extenuating. recommend for continuous
use in any cline; but I may say that
never have I ever viewed any staple
Of diet which resembled, even in the re-
hottest particular. this alleged muffin
which Mr.. Newcomb SO exuberantly
tossed at me this morning. Guam
titative analysis, I am confident, is the
only possible method of arriving at a
certain solution Of the components. Of
this remarkable, I may even say
unique, product Of the kitchen d"
But I fed. I retained possession of
the muffin. and am now using 1T as
paper weight.