The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1910-07-03

bulance horse IS peacefully munching
hay and meditating on what glorious
day the Fourth OF July is-When Il s
sanct Yes. sir you disappoint mel All
men are brutes-only they call IL pa
triotism on July 4.
Now. darcsay. you've been thinking
u the time when YOU were a little shaw
err and crawled out OF bed before sun
rise to meet the other hOodlums Of the
neighborhood and start in to smear that
section of the town with Fourth Of July
glory. You began with the biggest fire
cracker In your bunch and placed ~
under the window OF the grouchy old
man across the street. didn't yOu2 And
when the smoke cleared away and you
saw him at his window shaking his fist
at you and trying TO yell-all unmind-
ful Of the fact that his false teeth still
repOsed peacefully in the tumbler Of
water I'm his burcau-when you saw him
you shouted and hootcd and danced
with glee, didn't you? And then you
and de gang moved on down into the
next block and repeated the perform
ance!
Long about breakfast time the am
bition TO be the first boy burned in the
gang gave you an idea You sneaked
out that old brass cannon that your Dad
/ told you not to use or he'd give you a
I private exhibition Of shooting stars and
other fireworks out in the back wood
shed. didn't your And you crammed IL
fun up to the muzzle with black gun
powder. while the fellcrs' looked on ad-
miriugly. lighted the fuse and hOt-f0ot-
ed 10 To the rear. Then all Of you wait
cd for the roar. But somehow. IL re-
fused TO even whisper. And you. Mr..
Smart Aleck. trapsed right up to the
|cannon's mouth 10 see what was hold
/ ing the bark. bold as you please Didn't
your If anybody'd yelled s-s-sst! az
you. you'd jumped a miiei
"Gulpiug hard TO keep your hart
down out OF your mOuth-you picked
IN the brazen-voiced weapon. when
] .Foo-o-ommt-it went off IN your hands
like a splitting devil incarnate 1what-
ever that means)t You dtdt know
/ whether to howl first and then dror
the thing. or drop u and then howl
did your But you did both eventually
being especially strong on the howl
Then you ran home 10 your ma 20 bind
up your burns with linseed OF and cot
ton batting. And you felt like a hero
/ who'd been wounded In battle. and all
I the other little tads I'm the neiEhbor-
hood came respectfully 20 your door "a
that was glorious and the Fourth Of
i July the greatest day on the whole cal
well. m'friend. it's all changed now
The Fourth Of July's been brought ur
TO the same high plane as an election Of
officers in the ID. A. r. or a national
convention Of Esperantists- And wisely
too. m'friend. With your mind busy
I keeping track Of the number OF to-
l bacco coupons. good for prizes I'm mil-
lion lots. you've given out over the
| counter. YOU naturally Eide-sten few
/ " the best bets in tie days news IL
YOU only knew it-this isn't the only
| town with n quiet and ladvlikc cele-
bration of the country's birthday.
There's "a Few million or them scat
tered an over the man-fOr tine gov
crnors Of over 20 states I'm the union
have come out flat-footed against the
. sale OF toy pistols and dynamite crack
crs. Besides. In n round half-dozen Of
the big elites they've tackled the 90
sign on fireworks Of any sort In fact
they do say. truck gardeners near these
places refrain from bringing even rad
ishcs or red peppers into town on the
/ Fourth for fear Of getting pinched Tor
/ luckipg the city ordinance in spirit II
/ not in letter, BE that as 70 may. tho
Ids on this ssyrocket stuff and
pretty hefty bunch Is sitting on it,
But. cheer up. m friend. The woods
IS fun Of nice and nifty little ways OF
| celebrating the great and gloriOu
/ Fourth. You remind me Of some o.
| those travelling statesmen who blow n
I can't hOt-air about anything the
| develop n healthy crouch, and whel
] they haven't gOt anything else 20 kicl
| about they pick out poor old July ( an,
l growl about It's bein- made fire-proo
with cement floors and steel order
= l throughout. There are quite mum
her OF all-star. safe and sane acts billie
s only wise TO them.
Young America is promised a Ion
/ list Of attractions Guaranteed to frizzl
/ any dow-and-pouv act ever offered o
the local plavgr 0unds. whore little lad
b and lassies march and counter-ma re-
IN red. white and blue flag drills
b. finally forming monster Star-Spangle