Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-06-10
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DO you know many languages Miss
Flora?" "Oh, yes. Stamp. flowers.
handkerchief and fan languages
Doctor, is it absolutely necessary to
operate on me? ''N-no: but it's Gus
tomary"
Her Father-Blanche. why doesn't
Mr.. Linger 80 home earlier? Blanche
I'm why, Dad!
So he has lost faith in deep breath
ing@" Yes; 1t wouldn't Keep his hair
from falling ou."
Pa-But, young man. do you think
you can make my little girl happy?
Suitor-Do /? Say, wish you could
a seen her when l proposed
What did your wife say when you
stayed out so late last night?" 81
don't know. She hasn't finished tell
ing 1t to me yet. Detroit Free Press.
Gentleman (hiring valet) Then (
understand you have some knowledge
of barbering, You've cut hair, off and
on? Applicant-Off. sir, but never on.
Tommys Mother-Why aren't you
a good boy, like Willie Bjones2 Tom
my Huh! It's easy enough for him
to be good; he's sick most of the time
Teacher Didn't Jimmy Green help
you to do this sum? Willie-No'm.
reacher-Are you sure he didn't? viii
lie-~Eie didn't help me- he did 1t all.
Did yea know thot Casey TUX out
thousand dollars loife insurance
| only The da.ay before he wuz kilt"
''Sures Casey wuz Always lucky" -
Life.
You call them a well-matched cou-
ple!" II certainly do" why, she
is so short and he is so tall" He
is very short with her - Houston
Post.
Father What! You want TO marry
my daughter? Why. sir, you cant
support her l can hardly do it my
self Suitor-C-can't we chip in to-
gether?
Young Wife This dish, dearest, is
| an original composition of my own.
Husband Wen, should rather, my
pet, that you would cook after the old
| masters.
Mrs. Caller-Do you know the wo-
man next door well enough to speak
| to? Mrs. Subbubs-Well enough?
knew her too we'll to speak to-sat
| urday Sunset.
Mrs Hutton-W We are organizing a
piano club Mr. Flatleigh. viii you
join us? Flatleigh pleasure,
Mrs. Hutton. What pianist do you
| propose to club first?
What's become OF Jakes7" Hes
gone all to pieces" you don't say
30! Nervous prostration?' mo; he
looked for gas leak with a lighted
candle - Baltimore American.
Judge Why did you burn your barn
down, Just after getting 1t insured?
| Farmer-Your honor. a poor man like
me can't afford to have a barn and
insurance -Meggendorfer Blatter
Please contribute to our fund to
| send a missionary TO the cannibals
! II wOn't-Pm a vegetarian and don't
believe In IT, But III send them some
cereals, II you wish. Cleveland
| Leader.
Hobbs--I guess the elevator Is out
of order What is that sign on the
| door? Dobbs-The elevator man must
| be bit of a wag. 1t says, please
pardon me for not rising"-Boston
Transcript.
MY good man." said the kind old
lady TO the ex.convict who had called
begging, what were you In for?"
"Robbing the guests in hotel, mum"
All, were you the proprietor or the
head waiter?"
Fred-There seems to lot more
fuss made OF Miss AS singing than
Miss KS and / am sure Miss X has
by far the richer voice. Jack-Ah,
yes; but Miss A has by far the richer
father Boston Courier.
II see, my man, you have had many
trials" exclaimed a kind hearted old
lady to tramp, who had called upon
her for assistance. Yes" replied the
tramp, and the worst of it there
were so many convictions"
"Sir, / have no homie" began the
seedy looking man, and" NO
taxes to pay no rent, no coal bills,
no worry over the rise in milk prices!
Permit me to congratulate you" Il
have no lob and" Lucky chan,
No danger OF being fired" But | am
serious. | have no money and"
NO temptation to spend 1t foolishly
on able-bodied beggars. Why, you're
a veritable child OF fortune Good.
day"
Too Sick 10 he NuFsed.
The old maxim to the effect that IL
you are going to do a thing at all