Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1910-12-30
MUCK RAKE NOW HITS
THE HONEST FARMER
Ex- Commissioner Of Weights
Calls Attentions to Door
Knobs In Butter, Etc.

ugene Wood. In Hampton's Maya
cine. Is out with 2 satiricai defense of the
farmer from the attacks Of Commits
sloner OF Weights and Measures Dris-
coll. IL you have ever lived on a farm
you will recognize all Of the characters
Wood describes:
1t approaches perilously near the
limit Of endurance to nave it demon
strated to US that our grocers and our
butchers, whom we have trusted for
so long and who have trusted us SO
long, n men who have passed the
plate with US at the half past 10 O'Clock,
haven't an honest weight in all their
shops, and ave sold us their hands
over and over again, and still keep
them. as the. poor widow with her little
all invested in railroad securities Is still
getting paid for rolling stock thai has
oeen chicken houses since the Spanish
war; say, 1t Is very e the limit OF
endurance when Mr.. Driscoll makes his
criticisms on these gentlemen.
But when he proves that the honest
rarmer's' bushel basket holds only AZ
pounds and sometimes only 40, when
1t ought to hold 60, and thereby in
sinuates that the honest farmer is not
honest, then / say tina the limit has
been overpassed. The time has come tc
call a halt on muck raking. We'd bet
ter drop the whole thing right here
Honesty Is probably unconstitutional
anyhow.
An Old Yarn.
"Henceforth l propose to pay no at
tention to such yarns as that farmers
when they drive beef critters to town
to sell give them a lot of salt and moth
ing to quench their thirst, until just
before getting into town they let them
swig down all they car hold, thereby
selling creek water as beef on the hoot
n making two OF three dollars per
crltter dividend on watered stock.
Then take the case of Mrs. Wilson
who made such good butter that she al
ways got top prices for it. / shouldn't
have told 1t If l had been the grocer
who hid away in her ii pounds of gran
ulated sugar the big stone he found in
the crock OF butter she sold him. I
should have considered that / was as
deep in the mud as she was in the
mire, and since she had the delicacy to
keep still about the stone in the gran
ulated sugar l shouldn't have blabbed
IT all around town about finding it in
her butter. l think it showed very poor
taste on his part, to say the least.
And if Mrs. Beckenbaugh used to
have nice, sweet butter on the top OF
her crock while underneath it was as
IRONY as a witch, that was because she
didn't churn a great deal at a time, and
there was no sense OF trottiHg of to
town with every little dab Of butter;
better wait until she had enough to-
gether to make 1t worth her while. The
dealer should have considered that, and
not have put her to open shame by
thrusting In a butter-trier clear to the
bottom OF the crock, drawing it out,
passing 1t under his nose, and exclaim-
ing, Pue! That smells like a wet dog
under the stove 1t was nc language to
use before a lady.
Just Accidents.
las for door knobs and lard and
aunks OF beeSWax and all such that get
into butter, you'll never convince me
that those are deliberate attempts at
fraud. They must have got in acct
dentally, or perhaps they were put in
Just In fun. No reasonable person
would try to cheat the grocer that way.
Decaus she would be sure to be found
out. Yes, it must have been sheer in
advertence, or else a girlish prank.
What say?
What about the pretty apples be-
ing at h ends of the barrel, and the
little gnurly, mean, wormy, bruised,
windfalls III the middle?'
".And all the big strawberries on the
top Of the box and the shriveled ones at
the bottom, which is closer to the top
than 1t should be?' Why-er-er-
".And the bright hay on the outside
of the bale and the old. bleached- out
stuff inside, and the full clean grains of
wheat at the south of the sack and
Just a moment, please. Let me think
what I'd better Say
"Weh-ell-er-er-I suppose I might
as well come right down off the perch.
You've kind O. got me, l must confess.
I'm not running for office, so if l do
up what's the diff? The honest
farmer is such only in political speech
es. In real life he cheats whenever he
can, the same as anybody else. l blame
him every bit as much for cheating as
/ would blame him for cruelty to ami
mails if he had to live in the lions
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