The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1910-08-27
TREAT THE ROADS KINDLY

w Governor jumps into the
W lime light as a full blown
hunorist And yet we have never
heard Governor Crothers classed as
humorist. Reformer, jurist, preacher
these undoubtedly. Lawyer Cor
merly), agrculturist (eternally), pub
lie officer (when possible). But the
role OF humorist is a new one and
wears all the interest OF an entire sur
prise when assumed by one who sell
dom speaks but to instruct Alter
hearing the Governors solemn asser-
yations, that roads were meant to
travel on, or feeling the weight OF his
pathetic appeals for purity IN politics.
or bowling the head and worshipping
as he pronounces his semi-priestly
benedictions upon his own immaculate
administration. with the spell OF the
spirit of all these things (and then
some) upon us, it is a most effective
surprise, a fair little sudden sunbeam
in a darksome cavern, TO have the
Governor come tumbling on the
boards in testers garb. Treat the
roads kindly '-and with this quip the
testers part is on. We are not en-
tirely sure that the Governor meant
to exactly pose as jester, but SO the
audience has assumed, and the humour
O fthe thing has caught on. Every
body is laughing-except possibly the
Governor (Which by the way, is excel
lent good iorm-the accomplished jes-
ter leaves all the laughter to the audi
ence). And the audience is furnish
ing it, in this instance The comicality
of His Excellencys appeal is irresis-
tible Treat the roads kindly Sure,
Governor, that's what they are meant
for. Any old road can be treated any
old way. But one of your up-to- date,
ten-thousand-d ar-beauty roads IS
different Kindly treatment is IT'S
only proper due Traction engines
will please take notice and SHE into
the fields or let the wheat crops go
unthreshed. The smith will forsake
his forge and join the rubber trust,
for no unieeling steed shall press his
iron shod hooi upon the gentle bosom
of a $4,000 road Perish the thought
of a common farm wagon rafting its
hard hearted tires upon an improved
surface, where a whole mint of the
peoples money has been spent for
that which must be treated kindly"
You, poor fool, thought that road was
meant for USE. But, mark you,
"kindly" use. What did you suppose,
that a $4,000 road could. should or
would stand the strain OF ordinary
travel? Not at all. 1t is an airy-fairy
something, Tor soft pedal action; when
for example, one would recreate him
self in his auto-car Ga la Crothers-
Tucker and Coz or would go forth at
eventide for meditatve stroll-in
his bare feet For the common thing
of common life, find dirt road, on
find yourself under the ban OF the
Governors dspleasure ior not treat
ing the roads as kindly as you ought.
Humor? Why it is past doubt the hit
of the season. Nothing funnier has
come on the boards than this naive
appeal OF the Governor to treat the
roads kindly
Never again can normal man look
on an improved road without laugh
ter holding both his sides" 1t is a
little expensive humour, but it is hui
mour par excellence. We shall hence
forth know exactly what to do when
in the presence OF one OF those UNI
SpedkdDIe dSSredtlOnS Oh ullCOIleldlcu
rocks, known as an improved road. i"
We shall pat it kindly on the back,
and then laugh The pat will show
our Willingness to heed the Governors
request and treat the road kindly"
The laugh will be Our remuneration
(our one and only remuneratiom for
our contribution to the fair, fragile
creatures existence And then, well
then we shall go back to our dear old
dirt road with humbied soul and an
everlasting apology You dear old
dirty highway-we have kicked you
and cuffed you and 'cusSed' you galore,
but you have stood it like a man
Gouged AL grilled, beaten with many
blows and trave-stained with the
years you have borne your burdens
without complaint and without shirk-
ing. You have lett that sort OF thing
to this browning triumph of the road
builder art 1t has remained for the
stone quarry to beg the public to
treat it kindly Blessed old brave dirt
road, with all your wrinkles and ruts,
your mud and misery, you are worth
thousand ncw-ianged toys that have
to be put under glass and labelled,
please treat kindly"