davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1910-04-27

his droll fun. his quips and jestings
and his pathos.
Mark Twain became before he died
the most famous man on earth. He
was not merely man: he was an in
stitution. He was sort of neighbor
hood settlement of good cheer, with
many branches located in the cases as
In the waste places. where admission
and refreshment were free to ALL Mil
lions-how many millions is beyond
estimating-cam and partook of his
wine of, optimism and stayed for sup
per- His fame was and is universal.
Though an American born, native
Of Missouri he belonged to all lands.
He had Travelled in all lands and lived
in most Of them. He had more near
permanent homes perhaps than any
other man of his day. Nearly always
he was a wanderer. sometimes from
necessity. more frequently from choice
The world was his plaything, and he
was not content without remapping
for himself the entire surface Of the
big ball.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1910-04-27
Of Most Striking Appearance.

He was man of most striking ap-
pearance-the kind that attracts attea-
ton anywhere in a crowd and causes
others to take second look. In his
later years his shock-no, his crown
of hair, perfectly white and glossy like
fine spun silk. became his trademark of
recognition by strangers wherever he
went have seen woman who new
er before saw Mark Twain pick him
out without opera glasses, though she
sat in the top gallery of Carnegie hall
and he occupied lower box near the
stage. and the great house was crowd
ed. He had no doubles as to personal
appearance-ttere was only one of
him.
And there was only one of Mark
Twain as a literary syndicate. 1t has
become the fashion to describe him as
the great American humorist. This
undoubtedly he was, but he was more.
His appreciation of Joan of Arc, first
published anonymously, is accepted by
critics Of acumen as one of the most
refined works in the serious literature
OF the nineteenth century. The book
won its way before Mark Twain adj
United its paternity. While he was
writing the Joan classic he worked.
time and time about, on that amazing
funny masterpiece, 'sPudd' nhead Will
son." He simply couldn't be serious
altogether for stated period.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30
20 HEALTHY SKIN LEFT

MY little son, a boy of five, broke
out with an itching rash. Three doc
tors prescribed for him, but he kept
getting worse until we could not dress
him any more. They finally advised
me to try certain medical college,
but Its treatment did no good. At
the time was induced to try Cuti-
eura he was so bad that had to cut
bis hair of and put the cuticura Oint.
ment on him on bandages, as II was
impossible to touch him with the bare
hand. There was not one square inch
of skin on his whole body that was
not affected. He was one mass Of
sores. The bandages used to stick to
his skin and in removing them it used
to take the skin of with them, and
the screams from the poor child were
heartbreaking. l began to think that
he would never get weH, but after the
second application of Cuticura Oint-
ment l began to see signs of improve
ment, and with the third and fourth
applications the sores commenced to
dry up. His skin peeled on twenty
times, but It finally yielded to the
treatment Now l can say that he is
entirely cured, and a stronger and
healthier boy You never saw than he
is to-day. twelve years or more since
the cure was effected. Robert Wattam,
114s Forty-eighth St., Chicago. H.,
Oct. 9. 1909"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30
a Manehe Harve.t cu.tom

An interesting ancient custom is
observed in Manche at tie harvest
time. When the work is IN the potnt
of completion sheaf OF honor is
made and decorated with flowers.
which the farmer himself carries in
procession, surrounded by the har.
vesters. Two OF the party, under the
pretext of sweeping the way, raise a
cloud of dust. If in the progress the
procession meets a stranger the girls
offer him some corn from a pewter
plate. II he accepts and makes them
a small monetary present, the girls
kiss him.
But the principal ceremony is re-
served for the repast, In which curds
occupy a prominent place. When this
part of the menu is reached the girls
each choose one Of the young harvest.
men and endeavor to force him to
take spoonful. If the attempt is a
success it Is taken as an offer of mar.
riage on the mans part.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30
A Pertinent Commentary.

p. II. Elliott, the secretary OF the
American Automobile association, said
at an automobile banquet in New
York: - -'-'--7 ~s.'~'-'7
8 7 like to see women run their own
cars ! like to see women do ali sorts
Of things, provided they have had the
proper training and are proficient
There is no sight more agreeableothan
that of healthy American girl. riding
ner horse. running her motor, driving
her coach, with a skill and grace nc
man need be ashamed of.
But smoking and that sort OF
thing-ob, no. that doesn't become the
American girl.
AN American girl drew up her tour.
ing car at country inn. She got out
with her friends. She took OF her
dust coat and goggles. She opened a
gold cigarette case and put cigarette
between her rosy lips.
''The old country waiter may have
done # unconsciously. but, neverthe.
less, he offered singulariy good com.
mentary on girls smoking when he
brought big. foulsmelling contriv.
ance TO the pretty automobiles, set ii
down at her feet. and said:
Spittoon, Miss7"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30
SPECIMEN OF REAL GENIUS
California Farmer Adopts Unique
Meihod Of Fatteninp His Hogs
Birds Supply Food.

Every time I go TO southern Cali.
iornia." said Richard G. worthlngton,
see something that makes me open
my eyes farther. and take Oh my hat
TO the prosrcssiveness OF those fellows
out there.
But on this last trip, be continued,
witnessed a piece Of enterprise
which exceeds anything which ever
saw or heard of. or ever expected to
see or hear Of. i0 -'-i-
was travelling In the country be.
tween San Francisco and Los Angeles
one day, when was impressed by the
SIZE ofsome hogs In a plgpen near the
road. ! was especially impressed be-
cause on my previous trips-the razor
back quality Of the pork had caused
me to comment This time. however,
the hogs were as big as barrels.
How did you do I'll? | asked the
farmer, who was bending over the
bars Of the pig pen picking his teeth
with a piece Of straw.
Wen. ye see It's this here way.
stranger, replied the agricuiturist.
Them hawgs Just clean run the fat all
OF Of 'emselves diggin' for acorns.
ihey sort Of had competition with
them DANCED woodpeckers who'd COB.
Die up the acorns and store EN- away
IN hole In a fence post or rail. and
there wouldn't be anything left for the
hawgs.
] got to thiniiu' the matter over,
and calculated that 1t was up to me
to sting them woodpeckers, so rig
ged up sort of birdhouse and filled
the front of II all fun with holes about
the size Of the holes them birds put
their aeorns IN the fence. Then /
built me a long tube leadIn' down
from them holes to the feedin'
trough. and bided my time tin them
birds got wise to the Continuance.
IT didn't take EN- long. Before
little while they was pilln' acorns into
them 'er holes as II they was getting
ten cents an hour. and the acorns was
a-runnin' right down the nine TO the
pigs mouth.
That's the way got them pigs
nice and fat. mister. All they have to
do nov. is to lay around by the trough
and the birds feeds 'em. Purity good
idea, amt itg"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30


We are in receipt Of poem from
IS. p" who informs us that he is IAN
other Hoosier and member Of the In.
diana Society In good standing" II
is in reply to some utterly innocent
lines IN this column not long ago,
which lines meekly inquired why q
man wanted to wear silk hat. IS
P" says: Il dare you to print It," II
being automatic that a man who will
take dare would steal sheep, we bes
leave to print.
Poor man-No wonder you're wrinlsiet
and gray
II you let fashions disturb your mind.
You hurt Dunlap and Knox with wins
you say,
And others may think your words ar,
not kind.
Who'd ever think that an Evanston swell
With his heightened airs and Crem,
Claro,
Would make use Of space to boiler like
Some Sioux, when you wear a blaci
Sombrero.
Now. my dear friend. of poetical chat.
Nothing you've seen will ever look
queerer
And straightway think you'll buy a silk
hat ~ W f.
II you go home and look In a mirror.
We are not opposed to the silk hat.
II an anti-silk-hat society were organ.
lied we should be the first to decline
membership. Our good friends Dun.
lap and Knox will bear witness to the
fact that In times past we have
adorned ourself with their produc.
lions. Confidentially, we think the
silk hat is a glossy Joy. The trouble
with US is that when we put one on
we want to run for Office. Has any.
body a word TO say for the uncombed
plush hat-especially the wet maltese
sort?
The other day we printed a ceuple
stanzas having to do with the pronun-
citation Of Goethe when mentioned
by-street car conductors on approach
ing the thoroughfare of that name.
From the responses sent In we Gull
these:
Man rides upon the trolley car
And his location quickly knoweth
When the conductor. DER the jar
And rumble. hoarsely shouteth:
'Goethei"
l stood on the car at midnight
And I murmured "Hoity-toityP'
When the erudite conductor
Stopped the car and shouted; "Goether'
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

When the time came for the re.
nomination of member of southern
legislature the member sauntered
down to the corner store one night to
sound out the opinion OF the townsmen
as to whether he could be sent back
to the capital of his state as law.
maker
well. boys he said to the assem-
bled politicians. what about it,"
There was an embarrassing pause.
Speak right out. fellows" he en-.
couraged the meeting.
ITO tell the truth. SAM" said one OF
the crowd, we've decided that, judg.
ing from what this hyuh county got
out of the legislature while you were
there we mought as we'll have writ a
letter."-PopuIar Magazine.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

Civil service reform has given us
a splendid army Of civil servants. II
wasn't always so" The speaker,
Mayor Whitlock of Toledo, smiled.
when was writing my first short
Stories" he resumed, I'VE had civil
servants of different stamp. An
elderly resident Of my native Urbana,
back in those days. sought out his
congressman.
Congressman. he said, I support
ed you at the polls, and now expect
you to get my boy good civil service
Job,
AN right. friend the congress
man answered. What can your boy
dor
Do? snorted the other. What can
he dor By crinusl man. II he could
do anything. do you think I'd be
5othering your"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

Ex-Governor .Pennypacker, condemn
ing inhis witty way the American di-
vorce evil, told at a Philadelphia
luncheon an appropriate story.
Even our children" he said, "are
becoming infected A Kensington
sohoolteacher. examining a little girl
in grammar. said
What is the future of lover
"a divorce. the child answered
promptly
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

NNNa@H ~ wv A-fNN NAINN4
- This Is the greatest known way for
undecided. people TO make up their
minds
None but strong minded woman
can ever decide which OF two or three
hats she likes the best" particularly
II they are all comedy.
Popular bellies have been known to
have similar troubles with their
sweethearts. Which do like best Is
often a momentous question.
Why not try the other way?
Decide which, OF men, or hats. or
attractive dates you like the worst
and then proceed to eliminate.
From there you can factor out In
the grade OF desirability, until you
actually find yourself at decision.
because It, whatever 1t is. is tho only
one left. Is.
The process is delightfully."- simple,
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

'Mistah Jenkins" asked an old me-
gro of Atlanta of his employer.
would y be so good. sab, as to ex-
plain to me bout this wireless tele-
graph business l hears EN- a-talking
'bout?D
Why. certainly, Henry" responded
the employer. though can do so only
in general way, as | myself know
little of the subject The thing con
sists in sending messages through the
air instead Of over wires"
'Yassah," said Henry Il knows
bout dat; but, sab. what beats me is
how dey fasten the air to the polesl"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

lbs, MINI.
Brookville, Ohio.-"I was irregular
and extremely nervous A neighbor
recommended Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound to me and have
become regular and my nerves are
much better. Mrs. Il. KINNIsoN,
Brookville, Ohio.
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound, made from native roots and
herbs, contains no narcotic or harm
full drugs, and to-day holds the record
for the largest number Of actual cures
Of female diseases we know Of, and
thousands Of voluntary testimonials
are on file In the Pinkham laboratory
at Lynn, Mass, from women who have
been cured from almost every form Of
female complaints, Inflammation, Ill
ceration, displacements, fbroid tumors,
Irregularities, periodic pains, backache,
indigestion and nervous prostration.
Every suffering woman owes it to her.
self to give Lydia +. Pinkham's Vege-
Ia = Compound a trial.
If you want special advice write
Mrs. Pinkham, Lynn, Mass, for it
1t is free and always helpful.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

Il have come to You. my friend. for
comfort Ny best girl has treated me
very badly. ! was trying 10 explain
something TO her, but she gave me
such sharp looks they cut me to the
heart; she withered me with her
scorn, crushed me with her cold
ness and stabbed me With her Keen
edged tongue"
See here, man, you oughtn't to
come to me Tor comfort; what you
need is to go tof-a hospital for treat
ment."
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

A medical authority kindly assures
US that as long as cheese isn't de-
eayed 1t will not affect the health OF
the consumer. This is q fact that we
have suspected for a considerable
time. But how is the ordinary cheese
epicure to detect the differenee-un-
less he waits for results?
There is cheese so thoroughly dis
gulsed in the costume and aroma Of
decay that its proper standing On the
sanitary testing table would puzzle a
eonjuror.
For instance. there is the brand
known as limburger.
But why pursue this subject?
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

II was Annals FIRST visit at the sea
side. She was only a little girl, and
very enthusiastic over the long-looked
for opportunity to go into the water
They came too late the previous
day for a dip in the surf, 60 Anna was
up early, and she put on her bath
ing suit while the rest we're at break
fast some one questioned her as ia
her haste. ~.
Wei, you see" replied the thought
full child, Il want to hurry and go in
before so many people get in and
get the water cold.'' =
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

An, here is the picture taken
BY fiashiight at the FEAST
When It snapped. your nerves we're
shaken.
Let US look at It together
To discover who is who
Also. try to find out whether
This is he or that Is you.
For you are Judge and he is a Sir
But one ls a emudge and one Is a blur;
And maybe that's Scott and maybe that's
Burt.
But who is the man who is nothing but
shirt7
Il Is splendid In the morning
To reflect on how you sat
When they gave TO you the warning
That the lens would go to bat.
How you Henryclayed your features.
How you lifted up your face.
Knowing that Of all the creatures
None excels the human raceI
Well. one came to speak, and one owns
a bank.
But one Is a streak and one is a blank.
And one down in front has face that
must hurt,
But -who-ls the man that is nothing but
shirt r-..-.s t-a- i
Since Belshazzar's famous blowout
II has always been the same. i, =
When the fash would squirt and go out
All the diners dreamed OF fame.
But upon the morrow morning
When the picture they would see,
With a frown their brows adorning
Each would murmur; Which Is me7'
For there was Judge and there was a
Sir ~
But now ones smudge and one is a
blur.
Yet tell me. I pray-and don't think me
pert
Who is the poor man who is nothing but
shirt7
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

What is Mrs. Green crying forr'
Mrs Watson snubbed her in the
street car?"
But Mrs. Green doesn't speak to
Mrs. Watson, anyhow"
Il know. but she's crying because
she didn't see Mrs. Watson in time to
snub her first"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

This gasps the first man, us
what the poets call the driven snow"
Yes" wheezes the second man, en-
deavoring to pick handful Of It out
of his ear. while about a peck Of IL
slides down his back "And 1t acts
as II woman were driving it,
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

"Ah," says the young man who has
called, Il observe that you are already
doing some Of your holiday decora.
ton"
"Yes7" inquiries the beauteous young
thing.
Yes. | notice you have a sprig Of
mistletoe tied to the chandelier"
"oh, l Just put that up there as an
experiment. I've heard SO much about
the properties of mistletoe that l
thought would see II 1t really worked
before tying it in earnest"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

What a chimera, then. is mani
What novelty. what monster, what
a chaos. what a subject Of eontradic.
ton. what a PRODIGY A Judge OF all
things. a feeble worm of the earth.
depository of the truth, cloaca of IN
certainty and error. the glory and the
shame OF the universe.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30
1i<<s4.>6 1aa~%N


The postmaster Of Haystack Hollow
was on the verge of nervous break
down.
'Consarn that there postal savin's-
bank business anyway" he remarked
to a close friend
why, how's It goin' to affect you,
Ezry? ~ asked the friend.
How" rasped the peevish post
master; why, Jest think Nv me havin'
to identify signatures on checks when
can't make out what's on half the
postal cards that pass through my
hands,"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

An freshman obtained a position In
a skyscraper that was being built. He
had to carry mortar up to the top floor
One day he went up and couldn't
find his way down. The boss missed
him and called up to him;
pat" said the boss, why don't you
come DOWN."
q don't know the way" said Pat.
well, come down the way you went
Faith and won't" said Pat. "for
came up head first"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

began their use. Gradually Inn
proved until at last was well. Over
year has now elapsed and not sign
Of kidney trouble has appeared. give
Doan's Kidney Pills credit for saving
my life."
Remember the name-Doan's.
For sale by all dealers. so cents a
box. Foster.Milburn Co.. Buffalo. N. Y.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

bPUHNS DISTEMPER CURE will
cure any possible case of DISTEMPER.
PINK EYE, and the like among horses
of all ages, and prevents all others in the
same stable from having the disease Also
cures chicken cholera, and dog distemper.
ANY good druggist can supply you, or send
to mfrs. so cents and 81 bottle Agents
wanted Free book. spohn Medical Co.,
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

A student Of a school in Shinshu,
Japan. recently committed suicide by
jumping into the crater Of Asama-
yama. The tragedy was not discovered
until three days afterward. when some
documents left by the suicide near
the crater we're picked up.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

subbubs-swamphurst is the most
unhealthy place in the world. Since
we have lived there my wife can
scarcely speak above a whisper.
Henpeckke-Geel Do you suppose
| could get house out there7
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

Doctor-Take this medicine after
each meal.
Ratient-But my meals come mighty
unreg'lar, doc
Doctor-weil. take 1t before each
meal.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30
AFTER
SUFFERING
FOR YEARS
Cured by Lydia E. Pink
hams VegetabIe Compound


lnn.-"l was SICK Tor
years while passing
through the Change
Of Life and was
hardly able TO be
around After TAX
ing six bottles Of
Lydia Il. Pinkham's
Vegetable Com
pound / gained 20
pounds, am now
able to do my own
work and feel
W ell. Mrs. ED.
LA DoU, Park Rap
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

Brevlty being the soul OF wit, we
begin to understand the immortality of
the conundrum about the COW that
crossed the road.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

Mrs. Naggit-I don't feel like myself
tonight.
Mr.. Naggit-Then we ought to have
a very pleasant evening Sto-
ries. rst-
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

Mrs. winslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces infiamma-
tion, allays pain, cures wind collie, Csc bottle.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

Nothing enlarges the life like letting
the heart go out to others.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30


pended upon II
The kidney Sc
cretions we're in
terrible condi
tion and / bloat-
ed badly. /
W is d for
death. Learned
Of Doan's Kid
ney Pills and as
a last resort I
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

Too much strategy can tangle itself
more than 1t can fool others.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

/ The wise know better than to try to
live on the spice Of life alone.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

Nest politicians claim the silent
vote SO long as 1t keeps silent.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

Submarines Toll Of Lives.
In the last five years about fifty
lives have been lost in France in sub
marine boat disasters.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

For HEADAOHE-HIcks CAPUDTNE
Whether FROM Colds, Heat, Stomach or
Nervous Troubles, Capudine will relieve you.
It's liquid-pleasant to take-acts immedi-
ately. Try Il. 1oc., 25c., and 80 cents at drug
stores
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30
A PERMANENT cuRE.
No Sign of Kidney Trouble for Over
Year.

Mrs. G. ]. Becker. 50 Chestnut So,
Jamaica Plains, Boston. Mass. says:
4 was a physical wreck. could not
have walked q block had my life de-
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

woman's sphere now seems to be
the whole earth.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

Deaths In Public Institutions.
Nearly one-flfth Of the deaths In Eng
land occur in public institutions.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1910-09-30

Mother (severely) - How many
strawberries have you eaten out OF
this basket. Ethel7
Ethel--Only two. One to see how 1t
tasted, and the other to take the taste
out of my mouth.