Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1910-02-20
GRAVE PROFESSORS
GAY HUMOR|STS
IN BOSTON
AT THE POLE
BURLESQUES COOK
Bfows of Athens of Amer
lea in Funny Business on the.
Side Make Conspicuous Hit,

4 ca htH tNhSH las place tiAoAk ire
great historic fakes II Viii very posi-
hly so down to future generations
with a Yale professors parody as a
humorous appendix. Professor Will
liam Lyon Phelps. Ike Professor Rich
ard Person Of Cambridge. England, at
tho time when William Henry ire
land WAS fooling the British public
With his forged S~hakespcarian manu-
scripts, produced his smart little paro-
iy just when public opinion was pref
~ generally accepting the ~veraeity OF
DR.. Cooks statements. IL reduced
Dr.. Cooks account OF his advance
northward to the "palpablc absurdity
of complete nonsense u a good
many readers Of Professor Phelps "A
Dash at the Pole We're probably in
cidentaiiy prepared by II for the final
exposure. Also il again illustrated
The fact that college professors are
often very successful humorists. some
OF thcm-oiiVer Wendell Holmes for
example, or James Russell Lowell. or
Professor Dodgsen who wrote Alice
In Wonderland" and for many years
concealed his own identity under the
pen name Of Lewis Carroli-much
more widely known as writer's than
AS professors, ana others, like Profess
sor Clement G. Moore md Professor
George Martin Lane. whose incidental
humur ~ more or less familiar to
countless persons who would be una
bile TO name the authors Of it. Pro-
lessor Phelps Dash az the Pole falls
naturally into the class of these oc-
c1sicnal pieces rather than in the
sategory OF the professional humorists.
IL was written TO amuse a small cir
Gle. discovered and printed by an en-
tcrprising newspaper. and then once
more discovered and put between Gov
ers by an e~nterprising publisher. It
was IN very much the same fashion
tina Professor Lanes absurd classic
THE Lone Fish Balr' finally reached
the public and that the Night before
Christmas. a charming bit of humor
that is not parody, passed from Pro-
lessor Mopre.s family circle in New
York To a Trey newspaper ana is still
being printed as regularly as the COM
Ing ~ Christmas.
Professor Persons literary joke,
however. almost parallels that OF Pro-
frssor Phelps. II the Cock Diseov-
cry is undoubtedly the greatest fake
OF the present century. the Ireland
Shakesperean manuscripts were the
| work OF a young law student. William
Henry Ireland, wht began them in
joke, hut who found II SO easy 10 de-
crivc the persons to whom he showed
his first forged draft Of n lease pre-
sumably signed by The great d~ranlatist
that he went further and evolved a
series of manuscripts that even inelud-
ed an entire play. The manuscripts
were put on public exhibition and
their authenticity widely admitted by
| persons Who ought 10 haVe known bet
ter. Person. then Professor of Greek
ia the University of Cambridge and
one OF the foremost classical uuthori-
ties Of his day, saw the exhibition. re-
fused 10 sign the list OF believers. and
Coon after sent q manuscript Of his
own to the London Morning Chronicle
The manuscript WAS in polished Greek
ana the sender, who signed himself
- England declared he had found
IL in an old trunk and that It was evil
IDENTIFY q fragment of one of the lost
tragedies Of Sophocles. To help read
crs who might be unfamiliar with
Greek he had ais translated It into
Latin-but when the scholarly looking
thing WAS finally put into English, Il
camc out as follows,
Three children sliding on the Ice
All on a summers DAY,
Il SO fell out they all fell in.
The rest they ran away.
But had they stay within the house.
or play'd on solid ground,
I'd wager seas and hills OF gold,
They had not then been drown'd.
So. parents, that no children have,
or exc Ne hat have some
NN MA AANtaHtA At4NA AAAtN AA +AA -NNN EA-Al
Kcep them locS'd Up AZ home.
Which was SO ridiculcusly unlike So
. nhocics as tile experts VINO finally dis
{ posed OF the ireland manuscripts
show thar the spurious shakespeare
documents were unlike the real writ
iucs uf Shakesuelra One may inag-
inc that Professor Phelps felt toward
the Cool cc0un Of polar adventure
very much as Professor Porsop tett
toward the Ireland manuscripts. Just
MS I WAS despairing Of further proFis-
ions, says the author OF the Dash at
the Pole. mimiciug Dr. Cooks HnNl
preparations. q boy come alons arc
began 60 bluh2tr. with the exception
of tlt smiths With their sletEtS-theA
led Ctheir stonachs were frequently
out of tune) Pos two Eskimos and one
Narwhol. I asked Narwhal his name.
and he replied My name IS NarNhals
ON the Grampian Hills ms father
feeds his flocks took him along.
thinking be might not return. The
names OF the two EskirnoS were Nots-
dematter and Cutitout. Later We
find that the Esllmos crossed the Ice
easily as they wore ciaw-hammef
; coats and long ruEer-uails. thus giving
tnem "a strong hold, u at the same
time providing tho necessary nipple
meuts to fasien The nag to the pole.
Fol his final dash the explorer used
"A Few pareuthetical remarks en- the
weather. Previous explorers had used
bird dogs and then. when pressed hs
+ canine. had fed tbs short haired uoE-
tu the long haired ones. / has once
tried this myself but "a no relish Ton
It, II consumes too much time Every
morning "a AVE to get the setter;
crs The ausurdity OF Proiesse'
Phelps adventure on his tar 10 thi