The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1910-08-04
HIS AUNTlE JULIA,
She Is Really a Wonderful Woman
In :isr Own Way.
A GREAT HAND WITH YARDS.

Is Better Than a Doctors Visit
How She Made Old PuIsifer Jump.
My Aunt Julia is really IA wonder
ful wuman.' exclaimed the low browcd
man. placing his fee on the manager
desk. She hasn't any diplomas from
medical colleges. but when IL comes a.
curing Il sick man she can give the
ordinary doctor IL start of ten years
ana beat him around a block. Aunt
Julia has firm faith in yarbs"-
You mean herbs" interrupted the
professor.
Il don't mean anything OF the kind
mean YARDS. You go over to Aunr
Julia and mention YARDS. and her eyes
will brighten up and she'll ask you To-
sit down and eaT II piece of pie. bur
II you began talking about herbs she'd
paste yOn II with her truSty sauce
pan aud Knock off Il corner of your
sca;r Aunt Julia is pretty touchy
about some things.
"ume day nld Mrs. Doolittle blew
into The house. To spend the afternoon.
and Aunt Julia happened to say that
something happened III Aprile. Mrs.
DOOliffle Thinks she knows more than
WebSter's unadulIerarrd dictionary he
cause she taught school abour LIT
years ago. when she was Il young wu-
man. and she called my unit down and
said that there VAS no such word as
Aprile.
"'You mean April. my dear says
she.
- don't mean any such doggone
thing says my aunt. 1 mean Aprile.
and if you don't like it. Mrs. Doolittle.
you can lump it. and be blamed to
yOu.
We'll. they famed away for five
minutes or SC. and their language be-
Gan To make the shingles fall off the
roof. and | vas thinking of sending in
Il hurry call for the cops. when Mrs.
DoOliitle left the house by way of the
window and jumped three fences with
u touching them in her haste to get
home. \ lot of %saucepans and other
household utensils whiZZed past her
ears and seemed to stimulate her.
That's the sort of Aunt
Julia is. Now. if you want to go over
aud talk to her about herbs | won't
Interfere.
If there's anything my aunt delights
in it is %dOctOring people. She hasn't
4 bit of use for drug store medicines.
Ii. Ir,,.. bA. ~, -op,,I;n. .-l IL.
doesn't think anything will help a
sick person unless il tastes like the
royal palace of AbySSinia. 4 dose of
her collie medicine will make a mans
inSideS feel as though he had SwaI-
lowed Il pOrcupine.
Il had the collie last summer. and the
medicine she made for me had smoke
on it. | al taste it yet. Sometimes
| dream that Aunt Julia is handing me
Il spoonful of her collie medicine. and
then | always wake with a yell. She
y an old fashioned m She gath
ers her YARDS ut certain stages of the
moon, and when she is brewing her
medicines she mutters incantatiOnS
and makes passes with her hands and
does a lot of tricks that make your
blood run cold. But her remedies hit
the spot.
"Old man PulSifer. you know. was
a hopeless invalid for a year. He SAT
in a wheeled chair. and his wife fed
him with the fire shovel. and all the
members of the family were kept 50
busy waiting on him that they hadn't
time to wind the clock or prime the
pump. He said he had paralysis of
the worst kind. and everybody believed
him. Aunt Julia went owe there one
day and looked ut the old mans tongue
and poked him in the ribs and tapped
him with Il tuning fork and said she
could cure him up SO quick it would
make his head swim.
IF you can cure that man so he'll
be of some use in the world said Mrs.
Pusifer. III give you the silk crazy
quilt my grandmother gave me when
she was dying
Aunt Julia gathered a lot of YARDS
at the dark of the moon in the south
east corner of a graveyard and stewed
them over Il slow fire, and the broth
she made from them would have warp
ed the armOr plate of a battleship. |
knew by the smell of it that it was
the real stingo. and you can't imagine
how glad | was that | didn't have t.
take it. When she went over to dope
old Pulsifer she insisted on my going
slOng to help hold him down.
The old man didn't want to take il.
Anybody could see that. He got Il
smell of the stuff when Aunt Julia
took the cork from the bottle, and .
pale green sweat broke out on his
brow. But l seized him by the top of
his head and pulled his mouth open.
and my aun poured down about forty
kilometers of her redhOt dope, and
when it had SiZzled into his stomach
he let out one warwhOOp and StreakeG
out of doors like u professional Mara
thOn runner. When We found him Il
couple of hours later he was standin"
in the creek. which was full of ice wa