davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-09-07
A CRAzYL0G
l own a motorboat now. / call It
my Pretty Maid" because always
have to ask it where it is going.

A motorboat is six cylinder gas
oline motor with just enough boat
around it to keep you from sinking
in 1t. But not entirely. 1t doesn't,
for Instance, keep you from sinking
In It all the money you've got.
There's a good deal of resem-
blance between a motorboat and an
automobile. They steer the same
way-with wheel. And Just as
often they steer different way.
And they smell alike when scorch.
ing.
Instead of an extra tire the mo-
torboat carries life preserver. It
looks just like an extra tire, how.
ever, and you need it just about as
sudden.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-09-07

should be the one toward the per-
son whom you are addressing.
THE standing position Is also
important. There are four standing
positions, two advanced and two re-
tired. The correct standing posi-
ton requires that the weight of the
body should be carried on the ball
of one foot whether advanced or
retired. A perfectly straight line
will be formed to pass through the
center of the head, center of the
chest and strike the ball of the foot
carrying the weight of the body.
This is the law of the old Greek
schools and is the most attractive
and graceful manner In which one
can carry the body"
Mr.. Walton also says that de-
parture from these positions, when
either sitting or standing, depicts a
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-09-07

plain railroad This is fortunate he that folks
who merely pay freight and fare do not slip
the railroads.
Page president of the national bank back home This
is fortunate for he that currency bill is rugged
up against the national banks who out money by
the merchants and mechanics who hire it.
he is director in trust company. This is fortunate
for he set his face flint against any kicks the way
the big trust companies used in financial juggles.
He is treasurer of two lumber companies. This is for
nae for he will not be fooled by Clifford Pnclot
about the conservation of forests for the benefit
all as against the dividends of deserving lumber
panes.
He also makes Pages poultry food That is fortunate
for it produces hard shells.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-09-07

weakness either mentally, morally
or physically. Now will you be
good?
women would be a great deal
healthier" continued Mr.. Walton,
''if they would learn how to stand
up and sit down correctly. If they
want to be in the crude, tsloven
class that is their privilege, but if
they want to portray a clear intel
ligence they must be obedient to the
rules requiring it.
ut isn't necessary to sit up in a
rigid and prim position but one
should not sink down into chair
until the head rests on the chest"
and Mr.. Walton gave me an imita-
ton of how a person looked doing
this. They can't breathe" he said,
land they look-well, you know how
thew look. "
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-09-07

When there's something the mat
ter with a motorboat you don't go
under and fix it. The motorboat
goes under and fixes you.
One beauty about motorboat is
its speed. The sensation of speed
is very exhilirating when you can
keep right on foing after running
down bunch of Sunday school
pupils in skiff. If you fingered
they might slash water on you with
their dying struggles and ruin your
raincoat.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-09-07

asked the man who sold 1t to me
whether 1t was crack motorbOat.
He said it had been until the crack
was calked.
Then l asked him how many
miles 1t made an hour. He Just
laughed. Il can't tell" he said.
Nobody ever stays in motorbOat
an hour"
WELL" I says. "how long does It
take to make mile?'
Il don't remember" he says. but
think it is $3.50 feet"
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-09-07

arrested?" sternly inquired the
judge"
"A, good many" said the hobo.
'but only for small offenses.
was never pinched for speeding,
or driving without lights"
Out Of 1000 parts, $50 parts Of
wheat possess nutritive value. Only
IS Of 1000 parts Of cucumbers are
Of nutritive value.
HICKORY GROVE WHISPERS.
Miss Doras Conway is figuring
on teaching the Grove school this
winter. Her dad Is now one of the
directors.
Jud Blossom Is sick with the
measles. Also Of.
The Wilburs Corners ball team
Is coming to town next Wednesday.
Ted Judson is training team to
lick 'em.
The royal mint Of England is
turning out square five-cent coins
for use in ceylon.
"No-Tip" hotel is doing rushing
business In London. Probably
only dumbwaiters are employed.
In the case of the small boy,
cleanliness is next to--impossible.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-09-07

"Wa'al, SIR" drawled the bad
man from the woody west, I'VE
were certainly scared when the
lights went out down at Deadwood
Gulch." -.
"You don't mean to tell me"
said the tenderfoot; "you were
afraid of the dark"
Ozark! No. We were scared OF
each other"
Thirty-two boys died Of injuries
received in playing foot ball last
year.
He stumbled up the steps. pushed
open the door and stood confront
ing his wife. who held telegram
in one hand.
Here's news" she said sternly,
that has been waiting for you
since 7 O'Clock"
He braced himself against the
hat rack. "Hic-I've left my (hic)
glasses downtown"
well, l see you brought home
the contents"
There are eight miles Of railroad
in this country for every 100 square
miles of land.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-09-07

familiar phenomena of slate writ
ing as a basis for his tests, he con-
Guided that if those from the world
beyond could use a pencil between
two states, they could guide and
direct a needle as well.
At first | thought the fellow in
sane, but my fears were dispelled
when he placed a blank disc in the
cabinet, and dropping needle into
position. wound the motor. | as
sumed that the springs of emotion
which would be awakened by the
souls of the departed would be SUI
perior to the known harmonies of
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-09-07

was followed by a tenor solo, and
l instantly realized that the voice
closely resembled that of my friend
whom had often heard at public
recitals.
Finally I turned and said, Her
bert, that sounds like your voice"
Meeting with no response l imme-
diately turned on the light. Then
the situation dawned upon me with
all its unexpected horror. Herbert
Shade was dead; 1t was his voice
which I had heard; his spirit had
the instrument.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-09-07

I'm sorry I can't take you riding
in my mOtorboat. because 1t was en-
tered in a regatta. It was entered
and a monkey wrench stolen. l was
able to race. without the monkey
wrench, however. and my Pretty
Maid" would have been first past
the post IL she hadn't hit the post
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-09-07

An Alaska girl, Miss Jasmine
Britton, Katalla, Alaska. has been
chosen by the library board to sue
coed Miss Alma Marshall. resigned.
as librarian of the children's depart
ment.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-09-07
Page Will Be There
Carroll D. Page, United States senator from Vernon
is assured of another term by the recent election of
stand pat legislature.

Page is a very wealthy
man. His fortune was found
ed on calfskins. He is the
greatest calfskin merchant
in the world.
This is fortunate, for as
senator he can see that in
any tariff changes the peo-
pie who merely wear shoes
will not get the best of the
leather trust.
Page is president of the
savings bank back home.
This is fortunate, as he can
help guard the nation
against any unwise extern
sion of the postal savings
bank experiment.
Page is a director in the
81 J-Iolxx q, I a. ~
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-09-07
Wanted: An Opinion

81 do not express opinion upon the controversy
The controversy is the most momentous which has
arisen in America since the close of the civil war; The
sentence quoted the conclusion of President Iatts
speech before the conservation at ST. Paul The
issue federal control of natural resources
State control is favored by all the attorneys OF the power
companies national control by all the great leaders OF the
conservation movement east and west alike.
Upon the final outcome to be determined by the admin
sraon by congress- and perhaps by the courts depends
the welfare and happiness of very large part OF the peo
pe and upon such controversy the president OF the
United States does not express opinion lie was far
courteous dgned in his presentation OF all sides OF the
question: but he leader of the nation ending by leading
nowhere. The doctrine Of states rights tramped
under the feet of million armed men, half century
Now it raises it's head and stretches its wtered hand
to grasp the remaining natural belonging to the
people and turn them to private monopoly.
BUT THE PRESIDENT HAS NO OPINION ON
THE SUBJECT.
Perhaps he does not the deep significance OF the
ISSUE Perhaps he is honestly in doubt to how the
ton is to be solved In either he lost opportunity
in his speech at ST. Paul to impress the nation with his
satesmanke grasp of the problems of time, and align
himself squarey with the forces that fighting for
fairer conditions of life.
Week by week swept nearer by organized gov
eminent and organized business to the crisis which has
been gathering for years.
THE ST. PAUL CONGRESS SEETHED WITH IT.
THE PRESIDENT SPEAKS BUT HE HAS mo OPIN-
ION TO EXPRESS"
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-09-07

"What did the trouble between you and Jim grow
out off"
"0ut of jim planting his foot on my corn"
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-09-07

THUD--Say a O make o you
SIAPOh, the who's been swipng the
milk off front porch?
THUD-No; this something awful
you'll take It, But have myself
ELAP-Wel, ahead. be CAREFUL mighty qucktem-
percd.
TIIUD-I know a mistake
innocent mistake 1t family and that makes all
I wish I'd died happened
EIAP-Tei what it I'm getting What it?
TuDWel the other evenng-Tuesdayt good and dark
elready-I to house
Hl4AP-And wasn't at home
TIIUDNo weren't home but thought So
buttcd right In without ringing
ELAP-Ah, haaaa! Proceed"
Well
In the gloom and knowing wife walk
her seized her
GLAP--IIound! She?
TTIDEhe Said AT last answered. He does
OF whIskay tonight"
hahalsa joke wife! Hahahaha Ha-
hGeha .
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-09-07

"How many times have you beef
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-09-07
MOST ANYTHING
JOSH WISE SAYS:

''Lots o. homeless dorgs in
this neighborhood. TIL as
SCISSOR mus be due to call
this week."
The Ogden standard. [volume] (Ogden City, Utah) 1902-1910, 1910-07-09
MOTOR GOGGLES A NECESSITY.

1, L a girl tind3 that she is apt 10 have
a severe headache after Il long automo-
bile ride the chances nrc ten TO on,
that the trouble is with her eyes. She
probably is more near sighted than sue
realizes und the strain of trying 10 sec
every object on the horizon through the
glass OF her goggles is a grenter tax on
her optic nerves than she knows. This
girl should at once consult an oculist and
have written out for her a prescription ipl
eyeglasses to be fitted in her motor goS-
slcs. The relief will be instantaneous
Practically every onc has some slight
eye defect. not necessarily so serious as
10 make obligatory the wearing Of Ghsses
continually, bur when automobile glasses
are worn the extra strain OF seeing
through even the plain glass ls Alinos'
sure 10 accentuHte any previous trouble
Even slight astigmatism will be kept IN
check by use OF regular prescription
gasses in the goggles. while fors girl
troubled with short sight the pleasure oi
her motor trips will be doubled. Tho
,elnsses will act as opera glasses and will
enable her to sec just 80 much moro OF
She world aboul her.
The Ogden standard. [volume] (Ogden City, Utah) 1902-1910, 1910-07-09
SOCIAL AMENITIES FOR
THE SCHOOL GIRL

+ VERY girl who has read 1.-THE Water
Babies remembers the description Of
dear old Mrs. Doasyo
by when any one looks at the pretty
lady they cannot tell what the color OF
her hair Is or of her eyes All they can
think of is that she has the sweetest, kind.
est, tcnderest funniest, merrieot face they
ever saw. or ever want 10 see" Not Il
bit like her ugly sister, Mrs. Bedonebyus.
youdid. who was "nll snarly and horny
and scaly and prickly
If ever two characters were drawn
from life these Two old fairies are Mrs.
DoasyouwouIdbedoneby, to whose visits
all the children looked forward with such
glee. and Mrs. Bedoncbyasyoudid whom
no one ever wanted TO see and whose COM
ing was expected with dread The world
today can be divided up into TWO sorts OF
people, those who go upon the principle
that they must pay back in the coin which
they were given and the happier ones who
neNes pay back. but are always giving
our in spirit i'll which they would like
TO be rewarded If they took the return at
nll inCo consideration
1t is diflcuIt thing in the complex
social life OF to-day always To follow the
teaching Of Mrs, Observation-Disclosures
The Ogden standard. [volume] (Ogden City, Utah) 1902-1910, 1910-07-09

10y. Mrs Bedoneby yasyoudId's motto is
so generally practiscd in every question
of social engagements The fact that the
majority of ones associates are working
oil the principle of even give and take
makes il especially hard when planning u
party not TO ask only those who are them
selves giving entertainments and cxclud-
ing the friends Of whom one is really fond.
hut 10 whom no invitations are lowed"
because il has not been possible for that
girl to give any dances or luncbeons her
self.
To be able to put one's self mentally in
.anothcr's place-iu other words, to get at
the point OF view Of another person-is n
rare faculty, but one which leads 10
much happiness and popularity. provided
the theory is worked out as the fury
Doasyouwonldhelone would do il. This,
in brief, is the whole secret of sympathy,
and the girl who cultivates habit Of
sympathy may well be cnyied the friends
which will be hers through life.
There is wonderful charm. too, in Tho
sympathetic person, and what girl does
mol long 10 possess this. the most dcsira-
bic, the most elusive and the most inde-
Enable Of all 1ttributcs2 1t is charm
alone which makes the least beautiful
The Ogden standard. [volume] (Ogden City, Utah) 1902-1910, 1910-07-09

girl attractive and the lack of il which
explains the frequent unpopularity of the
girls of most perfect type and classic
feature. They are said to be cold and
are dubbed self-consciouS or at worst
conccitcd, but really they are lacking in
charm because they have not acquired
sympathy. They are unselish, perhaps.
and generous often to fault, but thoy
do not carry their luvishness to the point
of asking before they givos-~Wcrc L SO
situated what would please me mostE'
Fortunately it Is not necessary 10 be
clever to possess charm. Appearance
apart from expression, has nothing TO do
with il; possessions nor station IN life
count not ut oil The color of her hair
or of her eyes WAS not even noticed only
that hcr face was the most charming one
would ever want 10 see-Sucb is Mrs. Do
asyouwouldbedoncby The girl who
wants TO make an impression upon all
whom she meets can do so far better by
Ieaying an atmosphere of pleasant feel
ing and IL picture Of 4 bright and happy
face than simply Il vision of u smart hat
Or gfrl we'll turned out but adding no
desire for future Friendship.
Its an interesting fact in life. Incident
nlh, that hose WHO most tIithfully do
as they would be done by" are the very
ones who find themselves overwhelmed by |
kindpcsses from others, in this way carry |
ing our both precepts. for they urc thus
being done by as they did.
The Ogden standard. [volume] (Ogden City, Utah) 1902-1910, 1910-07-09

The larger The glass piece and the
smaller the leather and metal binding III
u pair of motor goggles the better, The
most comfortable glasses 10 wear arc
those having wide single piece of glass
across both eyes, with side glasses on
hinges, TO allow of the goggles being
folded up when not in use There should
always be leather case bought with n
pair Of goggles, in which 10 keep them
safe when not in actual service
GogsleS at best are scarcely becoming,
but the tan leather binding. matching
the color of the motor veil and coat, will
lo7k more attractive than gray or black
leather.
Even though goggles arc so unbecom-
ing, they should bc worn at all times,
even for short country runs Especially
while one is young il does not pay 10
TAKE risks with ones eyes. and the rusb.
Ing through the wind. with the combi-
nation of the full glare OF the sun, IL
bound TO be injurious 10 the eyes An
ounce of prevention In the form of never
motoring without wearing gosGlcs is sure
" worth pound OF cure in tho form of
donnng spectacleS for the rest of one s
life
The Ogden standard. [volume] (Ogden City, Utah) 1902-1910, 1910-07-09

smaller ones next and ashes OF gravel
near the top. When we come to the sur
face OF the paths we reach n point where
there Is q wide variety of choice and va
rious questions are 10 be considered. the
most important being that of expense. The
surface covering may be OF gravel. bricks,
nnders or the finest quality OF bluestone.
Any one of these will make good path,
but, If economy is not necessary. the best
of all will be fine bricks laid in herriugbonc
style. They are expensive, but do GER
tnnly make most satisfactory paths. a
girl who finds that tue bricks will cost so
much that she will be obliged to cconOmlze
Oh her plants VIII perhaps find it better
to use one Of the other materials.
When the paths nre finished each gar
den bed should be bordered by row of
bricks laid on edge and beddcd in con-
The Ogden standard. [volume] (Ogden City, Utah) 1902-1910, 1910-07-09
IMPORTANCE OF SMART. FOOT GEAR

II HE girl whose foot Is small nu.
shapely naturally takes every pain
TO be well shod that this point %
beauty may be shown TO best advantage
How much more important even is II 10
the girl who must acknowledge to oC d
larger To have her shoes always sInar
and perfectly cared for. 1t is even mor'
essential. if possible. for n young girl wh'
still wears short dresses upon all occa
sions To have her shoe9 always neat ani
trim than for her older sister whose skirts
are sufficiently long TO somewhat hide the
feet
Boots and slippers can mark good style
more conSpicuously than any other detail
of dress Incidentally they can show III
the wcarer's character most amuSinglS.
There is the high heeled. bright bucklsd
walking slipper of the girl who really en-
joys being conspicuous even ut the eN'
pcnsc OF good taste. The naturally un-
tidy and disordcrly girl is pretty sure TO
wear boots that would be vastly improved
by polish, are perhaps DccdfuI of button,
or IL il is a low shoe the stcing is very
apt to he united,
But delightfully."- Characteristic of GER
tain type of girl is n smart calfskin' boot
or oxford Tic mnde with heel of sensible
height for walking and of last not so
pointed MS to look uncomfortable. nor yot
so sonarc as to be markedly uubecomlnG.
This last style of boot belongs, of course,
10 the girl who knows that 10 be really
well dresse,l the accessories are of utmost
The minor details of dress
must be in keeping with the frock itself.
and for every costume there must be-
4 compromise effected between the ultra
fashionable and the purely comfortable.
The newest walking shoes are much
ike the oxford ties of few years back.
but are cut somewhat lower mud. hayingl
out three cyelcts. are fastened with rib |
aon rather than the wide silk tape. Tips
ire seen ON the majority of the newest
ow walking shoes, but these tips are of
he same leather MS the rest of the shoe,
,ot of patent leather No fancy bending is
Idyisablc. although there may he mar
ow band of the headwork outlining the
in and bordering the top Of thr slioc.
Pumps could not be said 10 have gope
The Ogden standard. [volume] (Ogden City, Utah) 1902-1910, 1910-07-09

out of fashion. but the average girl whose
allowance is small and she who must
darn her own stockings are to-day wear
ing shoes that have ut least one pair of
eycetS through which ribbon can be
tied The new pumps with large metal
buckles are smart for afternoon wear. but
the buckle must be considerably modified
TO be appropriate with a short dress.
/, Patent leather pumps are extremely pret-
y for afternoon and may be adorned
with either n Hat leather buckle or one
OF white metal.
Brown shoes are smart to-day with
practically every shade of walking dress,
'and are Glso worn by many girls With
their white frocbS throughout the sum-
mer TO bring russet shoes to Il good
color it will repay girl 10 clean and
polish them herself Tor if carefully
attended to brown tan leather improves
with every polishing Brown shoes ind
stockings really are as much cooler aud
more comfortable To wear i'll hot weather
ms their appearance leads one 10 suppose,
and this wear they chance to be eNcep-
tioDally fashionable. \ pair of good rus
sci pumps are nice to have. but the girl
who does any walking nj all will ind a
pair of oxford ties far more seTviccable
and infinitely less fdnguinS.
For the evening black patent leather
slippers with small rhinestone buckles
are attractive with the moSt elaborate
party dress. IL patent leather and even
sa1in are found uncomfortable for dang
Ing, French kid slippers, with pretty satin
aud rhinestone buckles, while not
quite so becoming 10 the foot, still ufc
quite in keeping for evening wear. Coz
orcd satin slippers 10 match the gown dfe
lust at present in favor for all party
dresses The smart stockings for low
walking shoes are Il sheer or medium
weight cotton or lislc thread Medium
weight silk are prettIest with patent
leather pumps. and for evening plum
,hccr silk hose make the accepted loot
.enr with either satin or kid slippers.
rhe stockings and shoes must always on
If one color. and for young girls al
.xtrcmcs In the stockings and shoes ana
lippcrs are 10 be avoided.
The girl who desires TO kcep stronG ald
veil will never run the risk of a1owins
cr feet To become damp. For tan shoes
mn rubber tips are to lie bad which are
nucb more attractive than The black ups,
lille for the renl downpours- storm Iub-d
err are TO be had as we'll IN brown as IN
lack.