davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15
COL, RoOsEvE1Ts BALANCE,
Prominent Newspaper Rates BIN as
Greatest EquiIibrist OF To-day.

Prominent Newspaper Rates Him as
Greatest EquiIibrist of To-day.
From the New York World.
The World has always managed TO
preserve its deep admiration and af-
lection for Col Roosevelt from degener-
ating into idolatry But it cannot let
gross injustice TO the colonel go unchal-
lenged One OF the most common. con-
slant, and baseless charges against him
is that he lacks balance. We deny II.
on the contrary, he IS the greatest
equilibrist OF modern times There may
be some things that he does not weigh,
but there IS nothing that he does not
balance.
For every attack on capital and cor
porations he can show a warning 10 Ia
Dor and unions; for every Hartman he
can produce a Haywood; for every Book
er Washington luncheon. a Brownsville
defamation: for every staying expedition
a pigskin library; for every panic, q
coal strike settlement; for every Nobel
prize, a Spanierd shot in the back. He
balanced his ancestry before he was
born; he balanced Harvard with cow
punching civil service reform with
Platt politics; free trade principles with a
standpat campaign for the Vice Presi-
dency: Philippine advances to the Vsti-
can with a Dear Maria" incident. He
balanced men and women and unborn
babes; and creeds and colors and crazes;
and virtues and vices and votes. He bal
anced every earthly thing that he could
reach And what he cannot reach his
luck balances for him. for no sooner
does he outradical radicalism In his at
tack upon the Supreme Court than a
prominent Socialist tries TO counteract
the ill-effects BY attacking him for his
conservatism.
II any man can ftly symbolic the
Constitution which he contemns It is
Theodore Roosevelt, at least. in the mat
ter Of checks and balances.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15
How stupId.

From the Ladies Home Journal.
Mrs. Jones (reading)-It says here that
a nautical mile is $3.50 feet and a statute
mile is only $3.50 feet. What is that? I
thought a mile was a mile
Mr.. Jones without looking up from his
.paper)-Weu. a mile is a mile. but a stat
ute mile is measured on dry land, while
a nautical mile is measured on the water.
and you know most things swell when
In water.
Mrs. Jones Oresuming her reading)-
Why, of course. How stupid,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15
A Jury Room Joke.

From the Cincinnati Commercial-Tribune.
Here is a story that is told by a local
lawyer, who swears Il is an actual ex-
perience; A jury had retired on a muir
der case and had voted II TO l for &C
quittal. The obstinate man was a small.
red-faced fellow. apparently a heavy
drinker. He held out for conviction and
declared that he was ready TO stay there
as long as the next one. Every now and
then he would lean over and suck the
head Of a small bamboo cane he carried.
Finally the JuryTaen began to make
ready for night Of it. The little man
soon fell asleep over his cane, and when
he went farther in the Land OF Nod the
stick dropped to the floor. Members OF
the jury picked 1t up and were about to
return it when they discovered that il
was filed with whisky, and very good
whisky. too. They passed it around. each.
taking a sip OF sudden the little man
awakened. and. reaching for his cane. at
tempted to such more ''oil OF JOY from
the head. He was very thirsty, but found
the cane empty.
After thinking some time, he said
Boys. I believe I've changed my mind
I'll vote for acquittal. Let's hurry"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15
Stirring Them Up.

Il shall call on your parents and de-
mand your hand"
Not yet. dear: not yet Father is in
jail for rebatlng, and mother is serving
a sentence with the suffragettes. II you
call on them now. I'm afraid they'll lose
their allowance for good conduct"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15
ALITTLE NONSENSE.
LooKING BACKWARD.

LOOKING BACKWARD.
Childhood had its happy days.
1t was great
To hitch on behind the sleighs
Or 70 skate.
But we also got our bumps.
Things went wrong
When the measles or the mumps
Came along.
Would I be boy once more?
Would / go
Back to happy days Of yore?
I dunno.
Guess I'd better face the strife,
Stick TO biz,
And be satisfied with life
As It is.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

The most important Office IN Uncle
Sans government. aside from that OF the
President and his Cabinet. according 10
Henry T. Shelton. Of New York. who is
at the Raleigh. IS the collectorship Of the
port OF New York
Not 10 per cent OF the people Of the
United States realize this, said 8Ir.
Shelton. and probably not 1 PEI. cent OF
them know the name OF the man filing
this most responsible post. and vet he
I has been talked about in the newspapers
/ IN the last year more than any other
man. with the possible exception OF T.
r himself
Collector Loeb is at the helm OF The
ship OF commercial prosperity. With the
7 tariff act as his compass. he must guide
the course Of trade firmly and Justly.
Should he fail. disaster follows; while his
success means prosperity. This is strong
language, but when it Is realized that
the value Of the merchandise entered
through the port OF New York is more
than g per cent of the entire inporta-
tons OF the nation. and that the amount
Of revenue collected upon the same ap-
proXimaIes fully one-third OF the total
income Of the general government from
all sources. IL cannot be gainsaid
The duties incumbent upon the col
lector Of the port Of New York are not
all expressed in the act under which he
Is appointed. II IS true that he does not
have 10 run a revenue cutter or an auto
mobile; he can even 90 out for luncheon
without asking permission, and many
persons regard his Office as a sinecure;
still. there are certain burdens. The
force employed IN the several branches
OF the customs service IN New York is al
most 5000 men, and nearly 10000 import
ers do business at the port One-half
OF this number. at least, have some favor
70 ask or complaint 10 make 70 the col
lectS5 G;::-iag the year. All questions
which arise relative to the customs serv-
ice must be determined by the collector.
There are matters Of precedent and in
novation. OF rule and custom. OF valua-
ton and classification, of veracity and
falsehood, OF justice and equity, Of law
and fact OF the individual ard the cor
poration. Of care and carelessness, Of law
in all it's styles-civil. marine. mercan-
tile, revenue, customs. criminal: OF stat
utes from 1898 to 1910. and OF Treasury
regulations numbering tens Of thousands.
All OF these and many more, each diner-
ing one from the other. come TO the col
lector for solution. and they come quick
" and Unexpectedly"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

and help them to work out their destiny
in life. But instead. so many Of these
poor girls have their heads turned. aspire
to unworthy things or to goals they are
not fitted to reach. and. tasting OF failure,
commit suicide.
II they could only be taught that none
Of US get things in this world that we
do not pay for Because others succeed
on the stage, because others write sue
cessful plays or books. or I'll successfully
responsible positions. is no reason why
immature and unfit girls can do the same
thing. Success comes to those who sue
coed because they have made themselves
worthy OF it, and because, although they
have met failure and rebun. they have
gone on bravely striving.
TO die: 10 sleep; no more; and by
sleep to say we end the heartache. -
But We cannot. Look at it how you will.
suicide is cowardice; a confession of
failure; the apotheosis Of selfishness.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15
Graft.

1.-The directors of the road were a pre-
cious lot of grafters."
you don't say sou
Yes. every last man of them had his
/ appendix removed and charged the cost
| to operating expenses"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

From the Youngstown Telegram.
It has been suggested by the Toledo Blade that
the date Of Mr. Baringer's retirement may be IN
Guided in the list Of future legal holidays
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15
Professional Methods.

From the Baltimore American.
How Is 1t that Miss Josephine fishes
so successfully for eompliments?r
Il guess II is because she listens 70
her callers stories with bated breath"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15
Is New York seInshP

From the Philadelphia Record
There is a strong impression in New York that
Mayor Gaynor cannot accomplish as much good IN
any other position as 81 that which be OCCUPIES
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15
All Sorts.

How does a man act when he is really
in lover"
"oh they have different ways" an
swered the experienced belle. Some of
them say beautiful things, and others
can't utter a yawp."
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15
Sick of Ii Al

From the Baltimore American.
rs Bingles very in? 7 heard Smith
say the last time he saw him he was on
the fat Of his back"
But did Smith explain whether il was
on his bed or under his auto?"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

as to the best means OF escaping
danger. The engine-driver endeavored 10
stop the train in time. but without sue
cess. and Mr. Huskisson. unable TO es-
cape, was knocked down BY the Rock
ct. the wheels OF which went over his
leg at the thigh
The same locomotive which had trf-
umphed at the competition now caused
the death Of the statesman. The directors
deemed 1t necessary to complete the rest
of the journey 10 Manchester. as a means
Of showing that the railway. in all IFS
engineering elements. was thoroughly
successful. but it was a sad procession
for those who thought Of the wounded
statesman He expired that same even
Ing
on the Stockton and Darlington line.
formed a few years earlier. traction by
animal power, by fixed engines. and by
locomotives, had ali oeen tried. and the
experience thereby obtained had deter
mined Stephenson to recommend the To-
connective system for adoption on this new
line. When the Liverpool and Manches-
ter road was in progress in 1929 the direc-
tors offered a premium OF $500 for the
best form OF locomotive. to be determined
by public competition on conditions very
clearly laid down. In October OF that
year the contest took place. and Stephen
sons Rocket carried of the prize
against Mr.. Hackworth's "Sanspareil 80
and Messrs. Bralthwaite and Ericsson's
Novelty"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15
HrInfnI Rrtnrna.

Hello. old man, How's literature
payiEgy'
"Oh. finely. The railroad lost a trunk
full OF my manuscript and I got 800"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

From the Philadelphia Public Ledger
Republicans divided in opinion as 70 what
happened IN Maine. Some think the party was de-
foated because it reduced the tariff and others be-
cause II didn't. The views Of the colonel are not
yet released for publication.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15
Isn,t IL Too Intc1

From the Charleston News and Courier.
His Physicians have warned Mayor CaynoT net 20
talk too much. Can't Mr. Roosevelt be persuaded
20 consult the same specialists?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15
Too Late.


Il meant to have told you Of that
hole" said one Irishman TO another who
had tumbled into pit in his garden.
"Oh, never mind" said Pat, i've found
II
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

A foreigner would think that most
American girls were subject to severe
headache If he noticed those queer bands
they use to tie on their false hair.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

From The New York Tribune
DomoSrats are likely to make Remember Maine
the watchword Of their nmpuign
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

Whether they are willing 10 quit. or
must quit, or do not want to quit, II viii
be all the same Many new faces VIII be
seen in the United States Senate.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

Have you seen any ladies wearing the
"iupe a rentrave?" That is what the
hobble skirt was before it was imported
from Paris.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

To the problem Of how 20 raise THE
Maine" the Republicans have the addi-
tional puzzle Of how to get Maine back
into the fold.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

Spectator Patten has endowed an
Evanston hospital with half a million.
There are plenty OF sick people from
whom he won the money.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

From tie Ohio State Journal
There are said 10 be persons in Oklahoma who
never robbed Indian but We suppose they are not
very prominent.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15
A Tramn,s Troubles.

gave a tramp a touring car
An old machine.
And now he begs from door to door
For gasoline.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

Emperor William assures us that prov
idenee cares for the poor people. That
leaves the colonel free to pay his atten-
ton 10 the rest Of US.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

II was absurd Of that license clerk to
give a man a hunting license instead OF
a marriage license. The applicants hunt
was all over; he had found the girl.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

too big to fit the penitentiary cells. The
fat men always get the best Of every
thing.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

From the Toledo Blade
Why don't you and Smith speak?''
His dollar watch seems to keep bet
ter time than my $3.50 Swiss chronome-
ter
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

If Roosevelt persists in making another
oratorical tour, the Maine example is
sure 10 become infectious.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

II is not true that Tom Watson orig
mated the phrase. Where am at?'' He
has merely been repeating it recently.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

What do you think Of the New York
heart O. Mine" to Eugene Field?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15
EXcunnhIe.

From the Albany Journal.
OF course when man has Just had a big book
published he likes all the free advertising he can
set.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

People have been so trained IN kicking
all this summer that it ought to be a
mighty good season for football
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

Small hats cost as much as large ones.
That is the reason for the popularity OF
the large ones; the dear things want TO
get as much as they can for the money.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15
The UpIift.

DO you chew your food fifty times?"
We'll. that's a good crusade, and I'm
for It. but l haven't time just now.
have Joined n movement which obligates
me to kill fifty flies every day"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

Your Uncle Walt Mason is chirping
pretty lively poetry for dead man.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

A girl lost her shoe on a street car in
Rochester, and married the man who
found 1t. Bet she did it on purpose.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15
Approximate.

From the Baltimore American.
Editor-Mr. Noodlesi
Reporter-Yes. sir.
Editor-I want you to cover this lee
ture on THE Naked Truth"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

The Sultan OF sulu is going to visit
Houston. What for? To see those red
haired widows?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

The Rev. DR.. Triple has come back to
his congregation, and is preaching pro-
hibltion.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

Now, at any rate. Uncle Joe knows
that he cannot hope for any support
from Maine.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

The high cost OF living is said to be
the reason for many divorces. but we
do not notice that it IS affecting the num-
Der OF weddings.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

Chorus girls are scarce this year. Get
ting old enough to know better evidently
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15
A Paradox.

From the Chicago News
mans stomach IS nearly round, yet
II takes a square meal 10 al II.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

Perhaps there is something in his con-
tract as contributing editor that torbids
him TO talk about the tariff
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15
To the Best of His Belief.

And you have cook now?"
I'VE had this morning when 1 started
downtown"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

A convict in Missouri was pardoned
because he weighed 400 pounds and was
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15
CHAT OF THE FORUM.
A Parliamentary Vote.
Remember NIainei

From the Indianapolis News.
In Mr.. Rooseyelt's speeches the rs" have It.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

September Is is Mexico's Fourth Of
July" The British under Howe entered
New York City on that date, in I776: and
James Madison and Dolly Todd were mar
ried in 1874 1t is the birthday OF Jean
Sylvan Bailly. the distinguished astron-
omer G7S6); James Fenimore Cooper, the
novelist 'Q7S9): James G. Percival. Amer
lean scientist and poet O7s5). President
Diaz. OF Mexico QSSO; Richard Olney.
Secretary Of State under Cleveland dSs5) +:
and Sarah Knowles Bolton author OS4I).
It IS the date OF the death OF Lady Ara
bella Stuart in 1915; Richard Boyle. emf
nent Irish statesman Gs4S). and Gen Lag
arua Hoehe, the French commander. in
1891.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-09-15

The Atlanta Journal says: The Repub-
lican plurality in Maine has sunk" We
knew something had happened to it.
The Eureka sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1902-current, 1910-01-08
RICH BUCKH0RN ORE REPORTED
Miners Said to be Sacking High
Grade for Shipment on
Wingfeld Group

Reno Journal. January 8: Recent re-
ports from the Buckhorn mining dis
trict, in which George Wingfeld has
interested himself recently. have for
some time been very encouraging and
yesterday Mark Musgrove who has been
interested in mining ventures and has
written much concerning Nevada mines,
came to Reno and gave information on a
new strike of rich ore which confirms
the earlier reports and practically con-
firms the statement that the camp will
be d of the best in the State.
O. 1. Flock who is interested with
Musgrove. has received a letter from
Robert Phillips at the camp stating
that at q depth of 154 feet in the original
shaft exceedingly rich ore has beel
found, which is being sacked for ship
ment.
Two other shafts have been sunk on
the same claims to a depth of 100 feet
and good average free.milling ore has
been found.
About three months ago George
Wingfeld bought a group of six claims
from W. G. McRae and associates, the
consideration paid being $lo0,000 At
that time a shaft was down about 100
feet with a cross-cut of 40 feet exposing
ore ranging from sl2 to s36 a ton.
The letter states hat prospecting has
revealed the fact hat the entire noun
tain seems to be a mass Of ore, but there
are very little surface indications. At a
depth of two feet, however, ore has
been struck in numerous places widely
separate. From this fact it is believed
the vein matter is at least 1000 feet
wide and can be traced a distance of
nearly q mile. IL is in q soft porphy-
ritic dyke.
Musgrove reports that he has inter-
ested a group of Kansas City men in a
project to erect a 200 ton custom mill
there. and it is planned to have it in
operation by March Is.
Buckhorn is in the eastern part OF the
Cortez mining district in Eureka Coun-
ty, about 20 miles west of Blackburn
Switch on tie Eureka & Palisade rail-
road
The Eureka sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1902-current, 1910-01-08
How He Escaped

.srhat brand OF canned tomatoes"
said a grocer to a customer, Il can
recommend, for I've sold them for
years"
what so interests you In that
brand? You're always trying to sell
them to me, when you know ! prefer
another kind. DO you make more on
themf"
mo. There Is a very different ex-
PLANTATION. Come In here and III tell
you"
And, leading the way to his private
office, he told the following story:
zone day some years ago a young
woman came in here to buy some
canned goods. | waited on her myself.
These tomatoes were new In the mar
ket then. and | had been offered In
ducements TO push them. The girl
didn't appear to know what she want
ed and was a bit clustered, but there
seemed TO be something about the
label on the tomatoes that attracted
her attention. 1t covered the can from
top to bottom, and en- 1t was a colored
picture Of several ripe tomatoes-in-
deed. the same label that is used to-
day. | sold her a can and n can OF
e both Of which she seemed to
select under the influence of the labels.
She tool them away with her.
1.-THE next day she brought them
back. telling me that she wished me to
ship them with some other articles
she intended to purchase. She then
selected a lot of canned goods-mar-
malade, peaches. Jelly and the like
directing me to pack all I'm n box.
They were to be sent to her Invalid
brother. In are of a certain person ut
n town near the center OF the state.
She paid all charges and left me to
ship the box when | liked.
II took an especial interest In the
girl from the first. She was so pref
ty. so sad, and before she went away
gave me an appealing look which l In
terpreted to mean that she wanted me
TO be sure that her brother received
the d~elicacies in good order. l super
intended the packing myself. and, no
ticing that the can OF peas indicated
fermentation, l put 1t aside and got
another. The rest OF the goods seemed
to be all right, and i shipped them.
81 left the can of peas In the pack
ing room till the next day. when tool
It up to put 1t away. 1t had stood al
night near a sink, and some n hat
spilled some water over It. ! felt thu
label slip away and noticed that some
thing had been wrapped tightly undei
1t. Setting 1t down on a shelf, / saw
that a lot Of small thin saws had beer
soldered around the can.
"You may imagine my establishment
Ny first impulse was to call some o
to see my find: but. suddenly realizing
that the position in which ! was PLACED
required thought before action, l tool
the can up to the top floor where
could examine 1t alone. The saw
The Eureka sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1902-current, 1910-01-08
Nevada Doubles Production

Reno. Nevada, January 3.-State Bull
lion Tax Collector ]. F. Haley. reports
that Nevada produced ore to the value
of $s4,o67. s64.ss during the year of
1909. and that out Of this amount the
State received a revenue as bullion tax
amounting to $227. 465. 10. 1t took g..
sS9, 679k IONS to produce the enormous
amount stated.
Mr.. Haley states that there are some
mines producing that are evading the
bullion tax by not submitting reports.
and that were all the producing mines
in the State acknowledging the full
amount OF their production the total
shown would be more han $685.
0O0. zoo. He predicts that the produc-
ton Of the mines Of Nevada for 1910
will be more than $50. 1000, 900.