The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-01-21
YES, HE CAN SPELL
Capt. j. G. Waters Laments De.
cline Of Orthography.
Tells Students That Everyone
Should Spell Well.
MAKES FATAL BOAST.
Says He Could Spell Every. Word
in Dictionary,
When Put to Test Fails Down.
Like School Boy.
MAKES FATAL BOAST.

They are telling good story around
town on Captain ] G. Waters and the
best part of It IS that IL is true
Not long ago the captain was in
vited to make an address before a
big class in a certain Topeka business
college Now Captain Waters is a man
noted far and wide for his silvery
tongue. his original impressive express
sions and his deep. powerful and pol
ished thoughts.
He got up before his audience Of
critical students and for thirty min
utes he held them spellbound under
the cyclone of thoughts. the tillkle of
oratory and the gentle touch of feel
ing. 1t was truly great day for the
captain-he was making the speech OF
his Iife-that is. one of them.
Students he roared. there is one
great thing that you must remember
you must learn how to spell correctly.
To know how to spell every word that
enters your mind and to spell it quick
" and mechanically is one of the
greatest achievements of a young stu
dent today
THE fact that the college students
and evan the business men of this
country are as a rule poor spoilers is
one of the defects of the educational
speller is to be pitied and it is his
fault that he has allowed himself to
fall into such mfre- 1 feel sorry for
the man who can not speII-iust as 1
sympathize with the man who is blind.
or deaf or physically disabled
Why. fellow students. always
prided myself on my acquaintance
with the dictionary. When I left the
common school so years or more ago
1 had mastered every word in Web
81 nd ic rnf
word in his dictionary that I can not
spell and pronounce
With this broad statement the cap
tain threw back his well poised head
and. placing his hands behind his back,
throwing out his chest and pointing his
feet at right angles he bit his lip in
oratorical stvle and allowed his eyes
to fash here and there around the
room.
Several seconds elapsed before a
gIances of wonder at one another and
then in a hero worshiping attitude
they looked with staring eyes and
open mouths at the extraordinary
they had ever seen who could master
word by word the contents of Web
ster's dictionary. an
For fully i minute the situation re-
manned thus. when the president of the
college arose from his seat at the front
himself to the captain:
Captain Waters, would you submit
yourself to test on this spelling
proposition
Certainly, certainly-very glad to-
very glad" responded der captain"
as he faced the president and threw
three more attitudes into his charae-
teriStic poise.
Captain. will you please spell
'cachinnation.' 'eIeemosynary' and
'charivari' % questioned the president
Biting and rebiting his lips two or
three times and shifting his position
first to one foot and then the other,
the proud captain took in massive
breath and started
''Aha-very easy, assure you-yes.
very easy-just simply a matter of
wish me to spell them by syllables or
straight along?" And he looked APP
peaiingly at the grinning president
Anyway, captain, anyway" an
sWered the brute
Then seeing that all exits were
closed and that he must face the enc
my alone. the captain started out:
"C-a-c-h-i-L-a-t-i-o-n spells each
innation'; e-l-y-m-o-s-i-n-e-r-y spells
'eIeemosynary' and c-h-i-y-a-r-i spells
'charivari
For fully two minutes the audience,
the president and the captain looked
in silence. Then some il-mannered
student in the back of the room snick
cred, the smoker WAS followed by a
few more and all by an avalanche of
laughter.
The captain didn't finish his speech
that day. He went home and. TAX
ing down the dust covered dictionary,
he studied far into the night.