Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1910-06-18
AK I TEMUS WARD ON WOMAN.
Old Sketch of Famous Humorist Ap-
plicable to Present Time.

pIicabIe to Present Time.
II PITCHED my tent in small town
in Injianny one day last season, &
while l was standin' at the dore
takin' money depytashun of ladies
came up & sed they vos members OF
the Bunkumville Female & Reformin'
Il Wimin'S Rite associashun, and they
axed me If they Good go in without
payinr
Not exactly" scz l, but you can
pay without goin' in"
Dew you know who we ar?" said
one Of the wimin, a tall and feroshus
lookin' critter, with a blew kotton
umbreller under her arm-"do you
know who we air, sir?"
'My impreshun Is" sed /, from a
kcrsery view, that you air females"
Eve air, sur said the feroshus wo-
man. 1--WE belong to a society which
believes wimin has rites, which be-
lecves in raZin' her to her proper spcer,
which believes she is endowed with as
much intclleck as man is, which be-
leeves she Is trampled on and aboozed
& who will resist hensith & forever
the incroachments of proud & domi-
ncerin' men"
Durin' her discourse the eXsentric
female GRABBED me by the coat kollor &
was swingin' her umbreller wildly
over my he'd.
Il hope, marm," Sez |, startin' back,
that your intentions Is honorable. I'm
lone man here In n strange place.
Besides, I've a wife to hum"
Yes" cried the female ".S she's
slave! Doth she never dream of free
dom? Doth she never think of throw
In off the yoke Of tyrInny and thinkin'
& votin' for herself? Doth she never
think of these here thlngs|
Not bcin' Il natural born fool" sed
/, by this time a little riled, II kin
safely say that she dothunt."
ooh, whN, whot" screamed the fe-
male, swingin' her umbreller in the
air, ooh, what is the price that wo-
man pays for her eXpeerluncew
Il don't know" sez l. "The price OF
my show is 10 cents per individual"
"& can't our society go in free?"
asked the female
Not if l know it," sed l.
"Crooil, crooil man. she cried &
burst into tears.
won't you let my darter in?" sed
anuther of the exsentric wimin, takin
me affeckshunitely by the hand. "Oh.
please let my darter in. Shee's
sweet, gushin child CT natur'."
LET her gush!" roared |, as mad as
l Good stick at their tarnal nonsense
'let her gush" whereupon they all
sprung back, with the simultaneous
obSeryashun that l was beest.
MY female friends" sed |, "be4 you
leeve I've a few remarks to remark.
Wa them we'll. The female womain is
one of the greatest institooshuns Of
which this land can boste It's onpOs-
sible to get along without her Had
there been no female wimin In the
world l should scarcely be here with
my unparaleld show on this very oc-
cashun. She is good in sickness, good
In wellness, good all the time. o wo-
man, woman" l cried, my feelin's
worked up to high poetck pitch. you
air an angle when you behave your
self, but when you take off your prop
er apparel & (mettyforically speakin)
get into pantyloons, when you desert
your firesides &, with your hcds full Of
wimin's rite noshuns, so round like
roarin' lions seekin' whom you may
devour somebodS-in short. when you
undertake to play the man you play
the deveil and air an emfatic noosance.
My female friends" continnered as
they were Indignantly departin', IVA
well what A. Ward has Sed"