davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-08-11
Send Good Joke Down Line

them. But that isn't how it's done; It
doesn't make any difference If we
travel on a through express, we fire.
quently find that a brand new story
we heard In Philadelphia has reached
San Francisco ahead Of us"
eThe explanation is simple enough"
said the old telegrapher. 1T simply
means that electricity is faster than
steam; while you we're travelling to
Frisco on the railroad the Joke was
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-08-11
Telegraphers Said to Be Responsible
for Quick Way That Stories
Travel.

Now that's something I've often
wondered about said the old CONNER
ciAl traveller to q Philadelphia Ledger
man How does a new joke travel
over the country 50 quickly2 I've
heard the explanation that it Is we
commercial travellers who spread
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-08-11
She Knew the Worst.

Mistress (hiring servant)-I hope
you know your place?
Scranton, yes, mum! The last
three girls you had told me all
about 1t.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-08-11
picturesque LANGUAGE.

'Tm afraid FIRE has very poor table
Manners
why so?"
"A young reporter says the greedy
flames devoured everything in reach
and then licked the paint off an adj
joining buildings Birmingham Age
Herald.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-08-11
Not Really Famous.

did he ever attain real eminence?"
Il don't think SO. He was never
looked on as the hope Of the white
ace.'"-Detroit Free Press.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-08-11
AM unnecessarv svstem.

"You ought to have a burglar alarm
system In your house," said the cleo
trical supply agent. $50 that you will
be awakened If a burglar raises one
Of the windows or opens a door at
night"
mo burglar can get In here winnie
we are peacefully sleeping" replied
Mr.. Newpop. we are weaving our
baby"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-08-11
History Cleared up.


The third grade was Having his
tory" Forty youngsters were ma
king guesses about the life and char
acter Of the Father of His Country,
when the teacher propounded a ques-
ton that stumped them all.
why did Washington cross the
Delaware?"
Why, indeed? Not a child could
think of anything but the answer to
the famous chicken problem: ITO get
on the other side," and, of course,
that wouldn't do. Then little Annie's
hand shot into the air. Little Annie
crosses the Delaware every summer
herself, hence the bright idea.
We'll, Annie?"
Because he wanted to get to Allan
tic City."-Philadelphia Times.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-08-11
Different Values.

There's a big difference in men,"
81 judge so, by studying the vari-
u rates for which Pittsburg council
men were bought"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-08-11

Johns-I heard you tell that man to
never darken your door again. Try.
ing to marry your daughter?
Thomas-No; he's a painter and he
painted my front door ebony instead
of oak.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-08-11
An i~nsInuation.

MARY, Mary, take the parrot down
stairs at once. The master has lost
his collar button. Christian Reg.
lister.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-08-11

That's where he's mistaken. Many
a good man has been kicked by a
null ."-Birmingham Age-Herald.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-08-11
Only One Cobb.

The morning after Judge Andrew
Cobb, q one-time justice of the su-
preme court Of Georgia, rendered his
resignation, an Atlanta lawyer and a
shoe drummer sat in the same seat in
an outgoing train.
The lawyer bought a newspaper and
looked over the headlines. Then he
turned to the drummer and said:
We'll, | see Cobb has resigned"
"Gee!" said the drummer. what
Saturday Evening Post.
will Detroit do now ?"-Philadelphia
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-08-11

Some people need only a little hole
Of observation to take In all the i'm.
portant scandals OF lineage.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-08-11

Ptdllo, lluAIo anu hCbCldbiC0 w
add to our enjoyment and happiness. A goot
degree of success has already attended their eff
forts, and doubtless much more will yet be &C"
complished by them.
Owing to the rapidly increased price of
timber and lumber, the matter of forestgrow-
ing is of vital interest to the greatN corpora
lions like the railroads, manufacturing and
building companies, that must have, for their
very existence, vast quantities of timber and
lumber. The timber required by the railroads
for the one item of railroad ties, not taking
into consideration the quantity used in the con-
struction of cars and buildings, consumes the
output of many hundreds of thousands of acres
of timber lands every year.
While undoubtedly The valuable trees in
,digenous to America will be most largely re-
planted and utilized, many others that are not
natives of this continent, when found by ex-
pertinent to be easily grown and of value, will
also be imported and largely. cultivated.
In the case of the eucalyptus this has already
been done, and so extensively is the tree now
grown in California, and so many and valued
are its uses, that it will be news to multitudes
to hear that there still live many who emem-
Der when 1t was first brought into that state
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-08-11

what have you to say to this charge
Of bigamy; why did you have so many
wives?"
We'll, judge, I expected to weed
out a few Of them later"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-08-11

N THESE days, when the reforest-
ing of the waste lands of our
country is becoming a question Of
n such national Importance, the
study of the relative value of diff
. ferent species Of trees is naturally
, very essential.
N Scientific parties are securing
Y the earth in search for new
-L-L clL---- ---Lall-- L.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1910-11-08
NEWS or PLAYS ND PLAYERS.
Charles FrOtsnan Begins Rehearsais Of
Billle Burtxe's Nr~ Play

Charles Frohman left for Philadelphia
yesterday in com pany with " Som~-se,
Vaughan. who last nigh, saw the first
performance Of his comedy Mrs Dot
"a acted nv Hiss Billie Burke and her COM
nlnv At the BROAD Street Theatre. Phi!a-
GeIpnii IL was also the English play
wright first view Of the second American
Citv that ne haa visited sihce his arriVpI
from England. In the next two weeks
Mr. Frohman will make ten visits TO
Philadelphia managing his enterprises
in New York and at the sirne time re-
hearsing Iiss Billie Burse in her new
comedy. -Susanne Miss Burke will be
s~en IN New iorS in Sesame" before the
holidays
Miss Nav Rlsvnev who has heer IN
Americ, since the production Of Love
Among the Lions anu wi. appear ut the
I.yceum theatre next Monday night in
The importance ~ Psing Earnest has
hesn further eng ged by 'ha rios frohman
70 play the Hen Phscscrr in Miss Nauic
Ad,'us'- prod IctIon of = 'hnntecier
An agreement was reached yesterday
u"' wecn Frohnln. klaw = trianger and
John ,ort. reprssentns the National
Theatre Owners Association whereby
she ATTRACTIONS OF the former will here
after le booked in tn" houses controlled
ny the National Theatre Owners
George Foster Plat % IN" Sew Theatre
producing stat was presented on SatTr
dsy night with silver punch bowl die
which tn" Blue Bird children Clubhcd
together and bought for him III" pres
rntation was made on behalf Of the little
rol nv Emmett Hampton.
The first production Of new comedy
in three acts Ivy RaOul Auernheirner en-
titled Die glueck lichstc Zcit- c1he
Bappie%t Tine-b will TAX" place At I'll"
German playhouse on Irving place to-
night To morrow evening The anniv"r
saTy OF SChiller'S birthday Maria STU
art will to played The Happisst
limo will he repeated On FRIDAY evening
and on Saturday. matinee and evening
Hans the Flute Player AZ The Man
haitian Opera HOUSE had its third per
Torrance AT popular prices last night
Osrar Hammerstein reduced the rates
for the benefit Of daily workers 10 . quar-
ter Of what they usually are. SO many
had TO be turned away last night that
Hans the Flute PLAYER" will go on again
for Julius Hops friends o,. next Monday
evening
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1910-11-08
WR. ADnINSS RECITAL.
An Afternoon N songs Given ~ Meudess-
sohn Han Auditorium.

Morton Adkins. harytoDe. gave song
recital yesterday afternoon At Mendels-
sohnHall His programme" had one merit.
namely that Of unconventionality. The
tirst ~ Dup comprissdt the Bots Epnis- from
I.ullv's -Amadis.- Franz's Die helle
SOM. lc,lch,et- and I'm Eerb~t. schu-
rnanns -DAs Hsuptmann 3 Webb and one
81 the Hebrew melodies. The second
group n $50 consisted Of French and Ger
man songs.
American songs. and in placing these so
prominently IN his programme Mir Adkins
showed cornmendable courage. The final
group was also made of songs with English
text All kinds Of comment were sug-
Restei by some Of these songs. bat mercy
n,Ist prevail Still IL is imperative TO
innu,re wnether Edwin Markham q
poetry always has such n depressing eject
on Harriet Ware. who was represented
nv TWO songs Mr.. Adkins. lot 10 no added.
sang all his numbers with great earnest
mesa. hut NOT always with Hha finest ar
= ~ if Judgment. His best style ~ singing
was heard in Franz's I'm Herbst.'
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1910-11-08
WHgTE RATS UNION.
Actors National Protective Union Joins
win Rival Vaudeville BODY.

An amalgamation Of tho White Rats
NJ America and the Actors National
Protective Union was effected yesterday
afternoon after conferences lasting sew
oral hours between representatives Of
both bodies at the Victoria Hotel. Her
man Robinson. Commissioner ~ Licenses
and former general organizer Of the
American Federation ~ Labor. was also
present at the conference in an advisory
capacity. The new body viii be known
"a the White Rats Union Of America and
will receive a charter from the FedsrE-
tion Of Labor In a few days.
The representatives Of the two bodies
have been comforting NJ intervals for
two months. There could not he two
national unions In the same nallingin the
A r. ~ L.. according 10 Ira constitution.
ana the Actors National Protective
Union. which, like the White Rata. h corn-
pss@ed ~ vaudeville actors. Rad an A.
r. u l.. charter, There vas a deadlock
because the White Rats would not Join
IN. other body. 40 the difficulty was
ended ycsferday by, the Actors NATIONAL
Protective Union joining the White Rats
70 form the White Rata Union under the
one charter.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1910-11-08
EPIsrOPH CONVENTION.
M, isien "f Diocese lIkei, To he storm,
Topic Tomorrow or Thursday.

The annual convention 81 tn" Episcopal
Diocese 81 New York will Ee held to-
morrow and Thursday IN the Synod Ha II
II the Cathedral NJ Amsterdam avenue
and 10th street The question that
arouse. the greatest interest il the pro-
posed division " the diocese Strong
efforts will be made To keep this matter
from coming up Bishop Greer ia known
Co oppo-. a vision AT this time DisSati--
faction - s+id TO be- general throughout
tn. rural counties. Circulars have been
passing betwaen lenders and members
th"re The opposition u not personal To
Bishop Greer Counties forming Tbs. rural
sections nf the diocese are Westchester.
Putnam. Dutchess. Orange. Sullivan and
Rock Ia nd. and the cities of Kingston,
Pouphksepsle. Nawburgh Middletown.
fonkers and oihers are available az
centre Of work and residence Of new
Bishop when named.
Bishop Greer DID more than any other
Bishop a Cincinnati To secure tho new
-iffragan bishop law. and he favors that
plan now IN his own work Within a
week clergy who have spoken and written
against 1t include the Rev Charles Merser
Hall. law 81 Judge Parker tn" Rev
Henry Mesisr. formerly an archdeaCon on
Lon x Island. the Rev. r y Smithers. Jr.
A son Of the Wall street banker. the Rev.
Frank HEARTFELT the Rev. George II.
Toop tn. Rev Paul X. Fish. tn. Rev.
Charles X Gilbert all rectors Of Importa Mt
parishes and men Of influence. They say
the sufIragan bishop plan will not meet
the needs OF the country.
Some have said there would b. two
s,it,ra "a rs elected tomorrow or on Thurs
iay Indications now point 20 one only
with a salary 81 s. OO0 a year. This will
he. made possible ny an offer 81 Bishop
Greer. which 70 ~ aid ne will make. To re
linauish one third 81 MS salary tn his
assistant In some quarters IL ia pre-
dirted that Il the Bishop makes po<sible
one s,lfrragan salary the diocese will pro-
vide another.
Last year there was named n committee
10 consider and report upon better bust
ness methods. J Pierpont Morgan IL q
member IL that committee. and a report
prepared in part nv him. II ia said will he
presented tomorrow N - known that
sorre radical changes will he proposed
Money ia said To- he atIll owing the esta to
" the late bishop Potter. borrowed To pay
ga In ries 81 n,issioIlaT is- four or five years
ago. -
Tomorrow night in Carnegie Via II there
will he a mass meeting. Last year S.DOO
uarsOns turned ont 20 a similar meeting
Only part II them got in
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1910-11-08
gglunnck Van Colt.

Miss Florence NAV Van Colt and Louis
Albert BIunck Of Idaho we're married last
~ ~ning IN ~ Paui- Church. West End
n venue and EiRhiv--iNth street by tho
Rev Dr George 7. Fcklan The bride
was given IN mhrriaR" bv her father
Richard Van Colt Nh" Vas attended nv
Miss Marie l. Fub~r "A maid NJ honor
The Mi-saa Hazel Morgan. Marjorie y
peaken. Grace King Of Vow York GIahys
Tamrup of Great harrington. Mass Helen
Wood NJ BROOKLYN and Florence yan Week
OF MonfCiair were bridesmaids Charles
and Harold Brouwer oI this city, Homer
Allen Of NorthNsid. Mass g.. Frederick
Moorr- ~ stamford, Conn Edward &
singer. all ~ JohnGiowr. v Y Wilton
Wood ~ Huntington. l. !. and George y
lealie Jr Of Flushing we're uahers After
she church ceremony Mr and Mrs Van COtt,
rho bride's parents. gave reception and
supper At DelmonicO's.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1910-11-08
>TJk fITy'S BTG SHDW
Pat"rsou'. ntaur Exposition "Opens To-
morrow Evening.

PATERSON. y J Soy Preparations
n" nearly finished for the industrial OK
go 'lDn. which - IN open in the Firth
h"s rn"n' Armory on "Wednesday 81 cning.
'. oprnm"rnorate The one hnndrcdth
rn' "rSary 81 tho manufacture 81 silk
p his country by power The EXPOSE
~ n ril continue for zen days
h" city ~ already in gala attire and
o. "r-vherp ar" 20 b~ seen tho expedition
'"Inr~ Old gold and royal purple All
o." buildings IN IN" business part are
"-''"rIng with flags and bunting and at
zr' tho a'rsc,s arc flooded with light
if"-n thousands ~ incandsacent lamps
On" Fri" Railroad has made reduced rates
rom all points between Ssv York and
Pr J"rvR on the main line and herw e"n
N-' Work and Stro'lrsb'Irg on tho S'Isnue-
hanna line The exposition ~ 10 Re
rf"n"d with an address by Gov Fort
Tn~ Court u Fashion. where Pater-
On SILK made into fashionable gow rs will
:" displayed on living models. Will open
o. Ionday night of next week.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1910-11-08
Talks on Teeth
BY @. GORDON MARTIN
I-coIp1Ias'
We Aim
To Save
Teeth.

We rarely have To extract teeth.
he irdiScrlmirate pulling of
natural teeth is a barbarous prac-
ticc. ard the dentist who resorts to
such methods 50 rs to sacrifice
coed teeth To make room for a
partial plate or ordinary bridge
work deserves to be drummed out
OF the profession.
But YOU will sec MANY an "ad"
which tells Of this or that dentists
skill in pulling teeth without
pain
He might be able 10 do what he
claims, ard more or less painlesslv,
but sometimes does an in Jury TO his
patient that can never be repaired.
There Is nothing equal to Ma
lures teeth. We aim TO save all
we car.
Where teeth have been lost
through disease or ignorant dem
tistry. and there are spaces in
the line. we are the logical dem
lists to come and talk 10. for We
can restore the missing teeth. put
those that are left in good condi-
tor. and yet not ask YOU to fill
up Your mouth with u partial
This IS what il means 10 restore
teeth by the Martinolar Method.
Of which we are the orIginators and
sole owners. Ii is a painless piece
of work ard calls for no cutting or
boring into the gums.
With Martinolar Teeth, we saw:
Go and eat with them: that's what
they're for." They are real teeth
in looks and action. The Others
are false teeth
Ours beautify the face the Others
dIsfigure H.
VIII YOU come 10 our Offices and
allow us 10 make careful ex-
animation of Your teeth?
In no other wav can we tell YOU
what we can do for YOU. No two
cases Of teeth restoration are alike.
Each one calls for individual treat
ment
he visit will cost YOU nothing
but your time. but il will be worth
the time
II YOU cannot call at once. send
for our book.
"Martinolar Dentistry"
II IS sent free on request.
The reading Of this book has
brought Us patients from every
where
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1910-11-08
THE ELtE BsRD' WIGRATEs.
Ma-'-rilnck.s Faerie tsees 10 the Ma Jc.tIc
for Q nun.

The Blue Bird few over Central Park
""~t last al ght and settled in the Majestic
Theatre Yet The Blue Bird. even out
-Id- the New Theatre. still stands sor hap
FIn~s- Gladys Huletrs and Irene Brown
are s'III the two children that lead the
rss' ~ the figures in MaeterlincS allie
E"ry through their PAGES. Eleanor Mo-
r"''I IA -tilI tho sanna poetic tig ira a.
N'7t' John Wendell and Cecil Sapp sr"
n" domestic animals Of such varied dis
'"si'lons and all tho actors repeat the
same admirable performances they gave
p'"n the play was first produced
hs intimacy 81 the smaller autfi' or,um
adds rather a charm TO the performance.
uHiI" m" large stage ~ the Majestic
affords ample opportunity for tho display
- 'hn beaIiiful scenic effects u LOOKS
a. n Inc Blu" Bird would continue tn
sl'@ happiness for some time 10 come
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1910-11-08
GETTING 4 POLISH
wa, Irwin Gets Laugas iDusing shs Opsra-
tlon in New Farce.

May Irwin. whose genial good nature
Crosses the footliRhts at every oppor-
t'inity began an -n gasement iast night
NJ Wallack's Theatre in farcicAl comedy
called 'Getting q Polish The play was
first evolved by Booth Harrington and
Harry Leon Wilson as a more serious
work called " Mere Rich. bat its cars"r
m infancy suggested farcioal possibiliti les
and farce IL has become.
In it's present state 1t cannot be called
a model III s;agrcrar Their. are few
scenes that are novel Ia n degree calling
for comment and by the time the ground.
work Of the plot has been laid the out-
come is fairly obviol- Bat farces an a
rule are not made TO bear analysis. This
one hal an abundance of bright lines ana
A. n medium for amusement and Inerri-
ment It serves ts purpose. thanks As
much to Miss Irwin as . O the authors.
Miss Twins pert is that OF a widow
whose husband has left a mining claim
shat has dei'"d his partners attempts
for ten years ~ tho widow keeps A
hoarding nous" m Yellow Dog. Mon.
"h""rs up III" par iner when he shows
sigma NJ giving up hope and has day
dreams of III" day when the lost vein will
h" found the Vein il found. Of coursa
ahi -'lT ~'ariS tOFsfartS iD l<ad hPr own
hf., ~ sn" pufs ". and 70 get a polish
This much nj tho plot comes i'm the
p-nloGum TIL" r'st shows how sho is
wHo"d by worthless for 'ian".p with bogus
it;i.a and MIXED by thos., who promis.
social honors whil.' sh.' tries 10 convince
h"-s"lf that ali" il enjoying H. And il in
only after she s""s others acting in the
slm" foolish manner that all COMES To a
r"ali1h.ion that hrr husbands partner in
h>r choic" after all
Except during the prologue Miss Irwin
PLAYED in thu hroadssf kind ~ way There
was no delicate suggestion about IL: her
hu norous effects were slapped on with
shi,ewash brush and WERE indicatio
that she took liberties with the authors
text, but through 10 all she laugh canc
and tina, was what she wished She
cranS ,eA tro d, saucer While on her
hest behavior. replaces her tight shoes
with ore CO Mort able ones and dis
cIosAd em 10 her visitors 10 make
another awful moment. summoned an
admire with n dogiike Here. Prince
call and did a lot Of other things too crude
10 hear close analysis. but the audienc~
laughed, ~ what matter.
Miss Irwin Also sang four songs. nr"
of tn" OLD time coon variety. which she
shuttle and all Mono " tho songs is a
musical MARI 81. but Miss irwin made all
Of thnn sound hotter than they are
tia1rge FavC"tt. who sc-'-lei out 81
place in such PLAY on account of me no
riHs Of 0th"r parts. playoSi IN" part Of IN"
pinnr who set things ri ht in the end with
a good Ie gro, Of sk III and feprr ssion a nd
Rnsslind Coshlan did Justice to the part
that fell ~ hcr lot
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1910-11-08
DIR. WkIY PROTESTS


WASHINGTON. Nov. The Rev DIR
Randolph II. Mckiin. a prominent Epis-
copal esgyman 81 this city. has pro-
tested against the elimination Of the
word protestant from the title Of the
Episcopal Church.
Tho arguments which are put forward
in favor OF the change he said, -appesr
to those ~ us who oppose IL wholly in
conclusive. and We are of the opinion that
although a considerable majority of the
cIericai order voted in favor Of the change
IL is more than doubtful whsth~' they
represent the -entinen; OF "A majority
Of the comm,Inican, Of m. church
The word at issue. he said had a def
mite doctrinal signitiC anc~ and meant ne
assertion ~ the supremacy IL the Holy
Scriptures IN all matters III r.li gioIri
belief