The Washington herald., 1910-01-23

Office is merely that of a faithful reporter.
Naturally, the burning topic az Mid
dleviIle during the past few months has
been the north pole. Uncle Sy maintained
from the first that neither Cook nor Peary
had discovered it, while Bud was inclined
TO believe that one or both Of the ex-
plorers had reached the goal
Uncle Sy has a boundless scorn for
Buds credulity bud, youse a dad
blasted fool DO you 'spose the north pole
sticks up outen the ground like the Wash
ington Monument. with a Iectric light in
II, so as any idiot can go up to il and
say 'thar's the 'riginal big stick?' No.
sir; it's nothn but a pint, and a pint IS
SO near nOthin' that you couldn't find Il
with a microscope. You can't see a pint,
you can't hear ii nor smell Il: eli you
can do is to get thar. Now. these here
chaps. Cook and Peary, they couldn't
find the exact middle pint OF my ten
acre lot In two years, and If they found
1t they couldn't never convince one an
other that they had found it. Now, then,
how long you 'spose 1t would take ZEN
TO find the center spot Of this here coun-
~? How many hundred years would it
take EN- 10 ind the center pint Of the
State Of Virginia? Yet you amt got no
more sense than 70 'spose they can find
the center spot Of the whole world be-
twixt breakfast and dinner time You're
green as grass. 7 guess if a fellow was
TO come along with a piece Of sweitzer
cheese and swear it was d chunk OF the
moon you'd believe him."
Bud reflected upon these compliments
Tor a moment and said: q don't see no
use in no one gittin' so not about the
north pole"
/ amt caring nothin bout the north
pole. nor any other pole only l hate 20
see you gitin so soft in the head. Pretty
soon TIN be too mushy 70 hold your
hat on straight Say, you know them two
fellows couldn't er gone way up there IN
that that ocean o ice all hungry and
! tired and skeered. and picked out the axle
| Of this great big earth inside O. six
months. And how long was they there?
Just long enough 70 have their picture
| took, and give three cheers for them
| selves. and then they RUINED away from
what they say was the pole Ike there was
a smallpox sign on f."
Bud said he guessed they had TO hurry
home TO keep lecture dates. But Uncle
Sy was not TO be sidetracked
4 wouldn't set and listen 10 such
pack O. granny tales. I read about them
there lectures IN the papers. They amt
learned me nuthln' I didn't know before
Dad. burn il, Don't I know its cold 10
there a thousand miles northwest o.
GreenIand's fey mountains? Amt it hard
TO travel over ice and snow? found that
out IN 1885. seen some Of Peary.s pic
lures in a magazine yesterday. Some Of
the same ones was in magazine last
year That there picture OF a lot OF muf-
fed yaps throwing up their hats around
a pile o Ice with a flag on it don't prove
nothin' to ne. 7 can 20 down in jim
Smiths ice pond next tine We have
big snow and have a picture took just
Ike tiff can git passed. o. niggers 70
throw up their hats. Says Peary. T put
up the great American Stars and Stripes
or the north pole. II you don't believe
me. I can show you the flag says Cook:
! buried my flag at the southwest cor
/ ner Of the pole. II you don't believe me.
go UP there and see Humph! Nobody
outen the 'sylUm can believe that rot but
you and q few other batter-brained folks
and I'm feared you amt out for long"
/ well. when 7 60 IN guess I'll hear
/ YOU hollerin' out through the bars that
/ you discovered the north pole yersels."
! 7 mought do that" said Uncle Sy.
but I'd never be crazy enough 10 believe
that nobody else discovered it Why.
/ everybody's gone crazy about this fool
gers idiots and all"
Which class is you I'M"
sE''
IHcle ~ ignored 'A-s question and
turned his attention TO Dr. Cook
What did he run away and hide for?
Wasn't there fools enough in this coun-
/ Try ready TO nav a dollar apiece 70 hear
his fairy tales and uaners enough 70
nrint his eusb about the mini, and bIra
noIsr sea- Them feIIers who sxo~a thew
ra1r45 him fix nm his s+ufF was as bi,
rascals as him. II they'd help him 70 lie
wouldn't the,- lie ON their own roolyo
They ougbter said they'd fixed m his
stuff before he started out: that Womb
have been more IIkeIv"
Say Uncle Sv ain't Won never met
nohodv hut fools and liars I'm ,o7rr tfr,aa.,
Yes bUt not generally In This here
shop Bud. don't Won know bv belfevfn,
traea warns vou.re enco-,rsg-ir- liars eli
over the co,,ntrv,p
talk T don't trins thew need no snrour-
agement."
s.ss
AGAIN T-rrTa 81 va1-1~7az p-rE with