The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-23

10 you KNOW many languages, Miss
F'lora?" ooh, yes. Stamp, flowers,
handkerchief and fan languages
Doctor, is it absolutely necessary to
operate on me? "N-no; but it's Gus
tomary"
Her Father-Blanche, why doesn't
Mr. Linger go home earlier? Blanche
I'm why, Dad!
$50 he has lost faith in deep breath
ing?" YES; it wouldn't keep his hair
from falling oul.''
Pa-But, young man, do you think
you can make my little girl happy?
5uitor-Do 1? Say, wish you could
a seen her when l proposed.
What did your wife say when you
stayed out so late last night2" Il
ion't know. She hasn't finished tell
ing it to me yet."-Detroit Free Press.
Gentleman (hiring valet) -Then {
understand you have some knowledge
Of barbering You've cut hair, off and
on? Applicant-Off, sir, but never on
Tommy's Mother-Why aren't you
good boy, like Willie Bjones? Tom
my-Huh It's easy enough for him
to be good; he's sick most of the time.
Teacher-Didn' Jimmy Green help
you to do this sum? Willie-No'm
Teacher-Are you sure he didn't? Will
.ie-He didn't help me; he did it ALL
Did yez know thot Casey TUX out
a thousand dollars loife insurance
only the da-ay before he wuz kilt"
Sure! Casey wuz alwa-ays lucky =
Life.
You call them a well-matched cour
ple!" Il certainly do" why, she
is so short and he is so tall" HE
is very short with her" Houston
Post.
Father-What! You want to marry
my daughter? Why sir, you can't
support her. / can hardly do it my
self. Suitor-C-cant we chip in to-
gether?
Young Wife-This dish, dearest, is
an original composition Of my OWN.
Husband-Well, l should rather. my
pet, that you would cook after the old
masters.
Mrs. Caller-Do you know the wo-
man next door well enough to speak
to-? Mrs Subbubs-Well enough2
knew her too we'll to speak to-Sat'
urday Sunset.
Mrs. Hutton-We are organizing a
piano club, Mr. Flatleigh. Will you
join us? Flatleigh-With pleasure,
Mrs. Hutton What pianist do you
propose to club first?
Whats become of Jakes?" Hes
gone all to pieces" you don't say
so! Nervous prostration?' mo; he
looked for a gas leak with lighted
candle. Baltimore American.
Judge-Why did you burn your barn
down, just after getting it insured?
Farmer-Your honor, poor man like
me can't afford to have barn and
insurance, loo.-Meggendor Bl4tter.
please contribute to our fund to
send missionary to the cannibals.
II won't-I'm a vegetarian and don't
believe in it. But I'll send them some
cereals, if you wish. Cleveland
Leader
Hobbs-I guess the elevator is out
of order. What is that sign on the
door? Dobbs-The elevator man must
be a bit of wag. 1t says, please
pardon me for not rising Boston
Transcript.
"My good man." said the kind old
lady to the ex-convict who had called
begging, what we're you in for?'
''Robbing the guests in hotel. mum. "
"Ah! were you the proprietor or the
head wafter?
Fred-There seems to lot more
fuss made of Miss AS singing than
Miss KS, and l am sure Miss K has
by far the richer voice. Jack-Ah.
yes; but Miss A has by far the richer
father.-Boston Courier.
"I see, my man, you have had many
trials exclaimed a kind hearted old
lady to a tramp, who had called upon
her for assistance. Yes replied the
tramp. ''and the worst of it there
were so many convictions"
"Sir, / have no home" began the
seedy looking man, and" mo
taxes to pay, no rent, no coal bills,
no worry over the rise in milk prices!
Permit me to congratulate you" Il
have no job and" Lucky chap!
No danger of being fired" s'But I am
serious. I have no money and
mo temptation to spend it foolishly
on able-bodied beggars Why, you're
a veritable child of fortune. Good