davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-10-20
IT WORKED WELL.

His Scheme Succeeded Even Though
It Did Upset the Family.
An excited man rushed into the Of
fee Of banker with his mouth full
Of words.
Say" he paused. "you remember
well enough that was in here for two
hours this morning. don't you-mebbe
two and half, but two anyhow
The banker nodded that he recalled
that fact
"Uh, huh." went on the excited man,
slightly relieved. land those two hours
or more included the hour between 10
and II o'clock. didn't they? You re-
member that. don't you?
"Ah. am glad you remember Now,
If my wife calls up and asks you If I
was here right in sight every minute
OF the time from 10 to II you could
tell her so truthfully enough. couldn't
you? Good. What do you think?
You know that fellow Smith that lives
right next door to us? Always seem
ed like nice fellow. but what do you
s'pose he did this morning? On his
way by the house he tells my wife
that I've just been arrested for insult
Ing a woman down on the public
square about 1920 and that l then
got into fight with her husband. who
managed to punch my face for me be-
fore the police got there.
Smith thought it'd be a great joke.
l s'pose Yeh. Funny one. wasn't it?
And now my wife called me up and
won't believe there wasn't anything
to it. Says the reports may have been
exaggerated. but surely something
must have happened. Gee! I'm glad
you're able to prove an alibi for me.
Well. must get along. This things
upset me 80 that I've had to let my
work just sort of Slide"
The banker waited for the wife to
call him up. intending to do every
thing in his power for the acquittal Of
his friend In about three-quarters of
an hour the friend came rushing In
again. This time he was smiling and
was less excited.
"It's all right" he said. Here's
how it all happened My wife had an
awful spell of hiccoughing and ran
over to the Smiths to see If they knew
any way to stop 1t. Smith had heard
that sudden fear or sudden consterna-
ton would stop it. so he faxed up the
story about me insulting the woman.
His scheme worked. except my wife
wouldn't believe him at first when he
told her that he'd just said 1t to stop
hiccoughs. Everything is all right
now. though. Smiths terribly sorry
about it. but he meant we'll enough
New York Herald.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-10-20

debater, always ready for an argu-
ment with the opposition and one Of
the best parliamentarians in congress
he has been a power on his side Of
the chamber. Few of the enemy have
crossed swords with him and escaped
unscathed. Many warm battle has
he waged against such seasoned war
rio-s as Payne and Dalzell and even
in former days against Uncle Joe Can
non himself. Withal he remains popu-
lar with his Republican colleagues.
A native of Kentucky, he has lived
in Missouri since 1875 He has worked
as farm hand. clerked In country
store. edited country newspaper and
practiced law In 1904 he was perma-
nent chairman of the national Demo
cratic convention that nominated
Judge Parker Mr. Clark is sixty years
old and Is serving his eighth term y
congress.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-10-20

Kid Elberfeld. the Washington Amer
leans star third baseman, has the rep
utatiOn of being out of the game more
than any other player in the big
leagues today, and it is no wonder that
such is the case for where is there a
player who takes more chances? When
at the bat Elberfeld never tries to
avoid pitched ball, no matter where
1t may hit him. and when covering a
base, unlike most players. who try to
avoid the spikes of a base runner. Ell
berfeld stands still if by so doing he
has an advantage.
Elberfeld is no longer youngster.
He is thirty-three years Old and has
been in the game for some years. and
yet there is not more interested or
hard working player in the business.
There is no chance too hazardous for
Elberfeld to tackle. and this explains
why he is so often out of the game
with injuries
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-10-20

F Colonel James NJ Guffey Of Pitts
burg, whose recent financial difficulties
caused sensation in business circles,
Is one of the best known oil and coal
operators in the country and million
aire many times over. Mr.. Guffey Is
Virginia coal lands, his unsold holdings
in that state being 1885, 700 acres. This
property is said to be worth at least
'$15,O0O00O. containing about 100000
tons of coal
Early in life the colonel, who began
as very poor boy, took hand in
Pennsylvania politics, and for many
years has been acknowledged as the
leader of Democracy in his state His
pOcketbook was always open in both
state and national causes Of Democ-
racy.
Seeming natural leader he came
into national prominence in 1897, when
he was elected Democratic national
committeeman from Pennsylvania, re-
placing William F. Harrity. Guffey
entered the political game as Bryan
man. which made his quarrel with the
Nebraskan three years ago all the
more spectacular.
1t was two years ago at the Denver
national convention that Guffey was
practically read from the Democratic
party" by Bryan. who had James Kerr
made national committeeman In Cuff
fey's place. Kerr died soon after his
election. and Colonel Guffey was again
made a member Of the national COM
mittee by his Democratic constituency
in Pennsylvania, position which he
yet holds.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-10-20
King Forms Billiard Leaoue.

Johnny King, catcher of the Chicago
Cubs, has perfected the organization
of the National Amateur Three Cush-
ion league, which will take it's place
in the billiard world next November
The new leagues circuit will include
eight cities-Kansas City. Chicago. St
Louis and Pittsburg in the west. and
New York. Brooklyn, Boston and
Philadelphia in the east King has
been working for such an association
ever since he joined the Chicago club
this spring.
While in the east ON the Cubs last
trip he rounded up the four cities
from this section Of the country then
succeeded in interesting ,Pittsburg
Last week he secured the promise Of
st. Louis billiardists to go into the
organization. A meeting will be held
at the close of the baseball season.
when officers will be elected
King already has made out a sched-
ule which probably will be followed.
The season will open the first day Of
November and close on April 6. -Four
teams will be engaged in the opening
series. Kansas City playing at Pitts
burg and Boston at New York.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-10-20
A Missouri Statesman.

Congressman Champ Clark Of Mis-
souri,. who has been floor leader Of the
minority in the house Of representa-
tives since John Sharp Williams re-
tired. hopes to succeed Uncle Joe
Cannon in the speakers chair in the
Sixty-second congress. Mr.. Clark is
troll the next house, and believes that
his long and faithful service on the
floor entities him to the support Of his
party for the coveted honor
The man from Missouri has been
one of the most picturesque figures in
congress for many years. A splendid
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-10-20
Why He LAUGHED.

Miss Matte belonged to the old
south. and she was entertaining a
guest of distinction.
On the morning following his ar
rival she told Title. the little colored
maid. to take a pitcher of fresh water
to Mr.. Firman's room and to say that
Miss Matte sent him her compliments
and that If he wanted bath the bath
room was at his service.
When Title returned she said:
Il tor him. Miss Matte, en- he
laughed fit to bus hisself."
"Why did be laugh. Ttllie?'
Il dunno"
What did you tell him?'
Jus what you tor me to-"
'Tillie. tell me exactly what you
said"
Il banged de doah. and said. Mr.
Firman. Miss Matte sends you her
Tub. and she says. Now you can get
up and wash yo'self." "-Lippincott's.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-10-20
HUMOROUS QU|PS
Song of the Skirt.

With fingers weary and worn,
With eyelids heavy and red.
A woman sat in five room fiat
Applying her needle and thread.
Stitch, stitch. stitch!
In flutter and clutter begirt.
She sings to the husband who isn't rich
The song Of the homemade skirt.
Work. work. work!
Till feel like could fly.
Work. work, work!
I'm just fool to try.
II I had model to At it on
It wouldn't be SO bad,
But trying to fit it on oneselrs
Enough to drive one mad.
Work, work, work!
Oh do hand me pin!
And now I've got it basted up
And seams all taken in.
It's miles too big around the waist.
The cores are all aWry;
l never can sit down in it.;
l wish that could die!
Work, work, work!
My labor never flags
And what are its wages? No style at all
And skirt that always Says
Too short in front, too long behind
And bunchy round the band
Till the heart is sick and the brain be-
numbed
AS well as the weary hand"
Oh, men with wives who sew
Each one his fate deserves
II homes an endless sewing fest
That gets upon your nerves.
Pay, pay, pay.
A few dressmaking bills
II you'd escape the scissors and tape
And sundry sewing ills.
Rochester Evening Times.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-10-20
Expert knowledge.

Expert knowledge.
Teacher-What kind of a bird did
Noah send out OF the ark?
Small Boy-A dove.
Teacher-I'm surprised to find that
the smallest boy in the class is the
only one to know.
Big Boy-Please. teacher, his father
keeps bird shop.-Omaha World-Her-
aid.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-10-20
Frequent Passes.

Town. council met down in the hall
last night" announced the old store
keeper at Bacon Ridge. =
"That 500" reioined the starch drum
mer. Did they pass any measures"
Yes: a quart measure Of cider was
passed pretty lively all through the
meeting" -Chicago News.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-10-20
What Else Could He Do?

At breakfast recently Andrew Car
negie INDUCED in piece Of pie. A
diet reformer present demonstrated.
"Why. Mr.. Carnegie" he said. "do
you eat pie?'
LOT course" replied the noted phi
lanthropist benignly What do you do
with it?'-Success Magazine.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-10-20

Tho Human Side Of Gardening.
Corn has ears.
Potatoes have eyes.
Squashes have necks.
Cucumbers have warts.
Cabbages have heads.
Celery has a heart.
Wheat has a beard.
Grapes have skin.-Life.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-10-20
Britons After Davis Cup.

The Lawn Tennis association has &C.
cepted the invitation Of the Australian
association to send team to the col
ony to play the preliminary games in
the tie for the Davis cup. The Brit
ish association has also decided to &C
cept the guarantee of expenses offered
by the Australian association. The
names Of those who will make up the
team have not yet been announced.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-10-20
Whitney Will Not Quit Turf.

Obviously there is no basis for the
report that Harry Payne Whitney will
retire from the English turf. On the
contrary, he has made twelve entries
for 1912, which is taken as proof that
he will stick to racing abroad. His
stable, under the management of Jack
Joyner, has up to date duplicated its
successes Of 1909 and has carried off
more stakes and purses than any 9th
er stable.
While Mr.. Whitney has not captured
any OF the classic events his success
exceeds the most sanguine expecta-
tons. He has nominated twelve horses
for the Derby of 1912. There are 1854
nominations. of which twenty seven
are from the United States.
Louis Winans has not abandoned
hope of capturing the Derby. This
was established when he paid ]. E..
Madden $4,000 for Sir Martin. Mr..
Winans has bought another Madden
colt and entered it for the Derby next
year.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-10-20
Explosive.

EYES," said Tommy, NAV takes
headache powder once in awhile. but
she has to be mighty careful. II she
took too much. you know, it might
blow the whole top Of her head Off,
Chicago Tribune.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-10-20
Doing His Best.

Tommy Turf" cried the teacher Sc
verely. why did you chalk your name
on this new desk?''
II had ter" replied Tommy. II amt
got no penkife ter carve it wid."-Cath-
Ollie Standard and Times
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-10-20
The Little Thinus.

ne EIttIe IhIh9S.
II don't want to be nagging at you,"
Mrs. Marryat began. but it's the little
things that bother me most
"Ah" interrupted her husband
sweetly. II suppose you're going to
tell me you haven't a decent pair of
shoes."-St. Louis Republic.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-10-20
Thouqhtfui.

There's nothing more inspiring than
a good sermon" says Mr.. Average
Mann. II always make my family go
to hear one whenever it's possible
Cleveland Leader.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-10-20
A Century Hence,

81 understand that your grand
father was famous robber baronw
"Robber baron nothing! He kept
respectable garage" - Kansas City
Journal
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-10-20
A Perverted Proverb,

early to bed and early to rise"
quoted the prudent citizen.
Makes many man a nuisance with
the lawn mower interrupted Mr..
Washington Star.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-10-20
darper's
You Know Thorn,

''Is that a new hobby he is ridingV
mo: same cid frayed boss. It's the
new bit and Eridle that attract at
tention Atlanta Constitution.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-10-20
No Spectral Chances.

$50 they want q meek and subser-
Went man for that position"
"Yes. A man of spirit wouldn't
stand the ghost of a chance" -Balti-
more American.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-10-20
He Was Lucky.

An 1rishman who was always cheer
full and happy go lucky appeared on
the street one morning in a badly bat
tered condition. but still smiling and
clipper. He met friend. and the
following dialogue ensued:
by tn powers. it's BORN lucky l
ann
"Phwy do y think SOP
II was hit be a automobile just as
was startin' f'r tn shop yistherda'
mornin'. 1t made me sthagger. an a
cop pinched me for bein' dhrunk. I
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-10-20
$1,05O For Five Minutes Work.


Rube Geyer is big league pitcher.
You might not know this if we didn't
tell you. His name has appeared in
big league box score only once this
year. That was about month ago
when he pitched two-thirds of an inn
ing for the st. Louis Cardinals. Yet
RUDE has been with the Cardinals all
season-more than four months. Gey.
er was considered ''some pumpkins"
when he was with Columbus, in the
American association, but he hasn't
shown extensively this year. He has
drawn $1,000 for working five minutes.
Also 1t should be mentioned that he
was ''derricked'' after that five minute
task.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-10-20
Cruelty to Dogs.

Had any sausages latelyY
mo: the man I used to buy them Of
tas been arrested for cruelty to AMI
Aals,"-New York Press
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-10-20
IT'S BORN LUCKY I AM"

wor licked in fight, an later l WOE
blowed fifty feet high be premachoor
blast When l come home Dugan's
goat butted me into tn house, an the
ould woman wor layin' fer me wild
rollin' PIN
AN in tn name ay the saints, do
yez call that lucky?
Sure! Amt alive this mornin'?'-
Cleveland Leader.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-10-20
The End.

Lawyer-The only ground you have
for an absolute separation is
Client-What?
Lawyer-The cemetery. - Harper's
Weekly.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-10-20
Timely Warning.

The recent publication Of the memoirs
Of q celebrated English university pro-
lessor, Oscar Browning, recalls a ia
nous epigram, said to be one Of the
most admirable ever composed. It was
perpetrated by brilliant pupil. ]. K.
Stephen. upon the professor, who was
somewhat inclined to corpulency:
O. B.. oh. be obedient
To natures stern DEGREES.
For. though you be but ono O. B..
You may be too obese.
Connecticut western news., 1910-06-23
UNDER WEAR

B. V. D. and Porous. Fine quality goods for hot weather. NEGLIGEE SHIRTS with or without collars, 50c to $1.5O. It will pay you to look them over.
Connecticut western news., 1910-06-23
THE GREATMIDSUMMER SALE
DRY GOODS

All Summer LAWNS aud POPLINs formerly sold at AL to soc now offered al 25c per yard
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-05-13

Captain W. G. Melvin. master mar
liner and Newport News representative
% the Seaboard Transportation Com
rany. testified that ne lives on the
boulevard between Maple and Cypress
avenues and owns bis home. lie de-
sired annexation 10 the city in order
10 get FIRE and police protection. city
raI and telegraph service and better
conditions generally. he said his
section Is without IRE protection az
This time. and that the city ere depart
meni saved one and possibly three
houses near him AZ the time the
Chsrniey property burned recently. on
cross-eramination the witness said
that the community In which he Iiv.
cd Is peaceabie. but that he would
feel that his family was safer when
he was away from home n be knew
an officer was pstrollinE the beat o..
casicnaily. The witness said youths
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-05-13
WHY BOULEvARD|TES
WANT ANNEXATION

Continued from First Page.)
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-05-13
Suggestive Questions on the Sunday School Lesson
by Rev. DR.. Linscott by the International Newspaper
Bible Study Club !: :: :: :; ::


T. 5. Linscott, v. y.
ed to God, by the Pharisees. What
therefore was the logical conclusion
Of Jesus reference to that fact?
Verse 2s-What Is the evidence
that Jesus did cast out devils, and
do other great works by the Spirit of
God?
Verse 2g-what is the kingdom of
God on earth? II the strong man
here stands for Satan, what then are
his goods
In order to dispossess Satan of the
souls of men. what according 10 the
figure here used by Jesus, is neces-
sary?
What is the evidence that the SPir-
IL Of God. today. does bind Satan
when a soul cries for God for deliver
ance?
Verse 30-Why is the negative sin
Of not accepting Christ. As bad as
the positive sin Of rejecting Him.
Which is the gnisiier. and why. the
man who sets house on FIRE. or the
man Who refuses to pot out the hrst
snail blaze when he had fun cppor-
trnity Of doing so.
Verse 3i-Whst is the sin against
the +oIy Ghost7 chs question
must De answered IN writing BY mem
bcrs OF the club
Verses sS4o--why did Jesus i'm
ply that they were an evil genera
ton for asking for a sign2
What signs had Jesas already Civ
en- hem?
i there any record where a miracle
alone. was the means Of any persons
conversion?
Verses 4o4i-h the story Of Jonah
ami the whale. should prove not 10
he historic. - some claim. and 'Je-
rns believed ~ Was. what effect should
thar have u9on our love and admirs-
ton for Jesus?
Verse f2-Why was "a no; immod-
est for Jesus 20 say be vas greater
than Solomon
Lesson for Sunday. MAY p. 1910
The DEATH Of John the Baptist
Matt xiv.ii2.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-05-13


Growing Hatred to Jesus.-Matt.
xii 22-32. 3s-42.
Golden Textile that is not with
me is against me; and he that gath
ereth not with me scattereth abroad,
Matt. XII 30
Verse 22.-whst are the indications
that Jesus will finally conquer the
Devil and destroy SIM
What are your ideas. as TO whether
he time will ever come, when sick
ness. sin and sorrow, will be cast out
OF every body2
Verse 25-Which is the most amaz
ing work of God. birth. life, death, or
mirscles2 Why,
Verse 24-HoE is II that when a
Iood man is praised by the people
that hypocrites become jealous. and
that other good men rejoiceg
When a man begins to undervslus
or mimisy the good work of another
or to explain away its gracious sig
nifcance. in VIVA; class do you place
hin. and xhat are your reasons foI
your conclusion7
What motives prompted e Phari
sees 10 ascribe Jesus miracle e
BceIzebub, and what inspired the mo
,ive7
Verses zsz7-By what power die
Jesus kn0~ their thoughts. and vhai
reason j. there 10 think that toda,
he knows your thoughts and mine
Why will not . sane man pull doSr
his own buiidings
Can you think Of. or invent. an
good reason which would induce
Satan 20 cast out satan,
Are men. VINO are inspired viii
batres. capable Of reasoning logical
iyg Why or Why not
What would result 10 Satan's king
dom II he we're 10 begin 10 dcstrol
bis own works,
Theirs appear 20 have been. a. fha'
time. other children o. the Jews thar
Jesus. gifh power 70 cast out devils
which power vas presumably ascTib
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-05-13

Salters' creek nelghooThood had
greatly improved since the abolition
Of the social clubs. The witness was
questioned by the court as to the
lumber of houses in the Powell
Heights and Ivyton sections.
City Auditor Read.
John W. Read. city auditor of
Newport News. was the next witness.
Mr.. Read was questioned by Mr..
Massie as to the financial condition
If the city of Newport News. and
was allowed to use memoranda to re-
fresh his memory.
Witness said that the average an
ruai ordinary receipts Of the city
of Newport News during four years
beginning July 1906 and ending
June 20 1909. were sI79.210.5s.
while the average annual ordinary
expenses for the same period were
S1s7 .3s7.97. showing a ne; average an
nual gain of $1i.S22.sl. The city
closed the fiscal year ending June
30. 1909. with a balance Of SIS. s37.6f.
The witness went on TO say that the
extraordinary receipts during this
Seriod we're 81 900 paid BY the
hampton Roads Traction Company
for the privilege OF abandoning its
franchise. $4,000 from bonds, and
s2.s0o In bank taxes from banks.
The total Of extraordinary expenses
vas Sz9.547. including amounts spent
for sewer work. street paving. cree
tion Of sImshouse. courthouse i'm
provemcnts and $1,000 refunded %
the Chesapeake 4 Ohio Railway
Company on bridge loan. This was
The last instalmeat on the loan made
by the railway company for the con
struction Of 4 bridge.
Mr. Cumming desired TIE witness
70 give the ordinary receipts and ex
renditures Of the city for each Of tho
four years during the period men
toned The witness had not brough'
the memoranda covering these facts