The Washington bee., 1910-12-10

HaOU IoSl heT JoD, 10 na0 q hoIos
right now."-New Orleans Picayune.
Hewitt-Lend me a dollar, old man.
Jewett-I never lend money.
Hewitt-Give me a dollar, thea
New York Press.
Farmer-what are you doing In my
apple treei
Thief-Excuse me. / just fell on &
oalloOn.-Fliegende Blatter.
"Have you ever seen the prisoner ct
the barr"
"Yes. judge. and he can drink like =
nsh."-Harper'S Weekly.
''That man has done some mighty
good things"
"Yes; ! was one OF them."-LOuis-
vile COurier-JOurnaI.
Teacher-Spring flowers bring forth
what, Tommie?
TOmmie - Umbrellas. ma'amI-Y Yon,
kers Statesman.
A woman can thrill as deeply over
her preparations for hOusecleaning as
a man getting ready to go fishing
New York Press.
JudgAIs that your real namsf
Prisoner (who has been up before)-
No, yer honor It's my ''pen" name
Harvard LampOon.
MissiOnary-May I ask what courss
you intend TO take with me?
III
You'll follow the fish.
Witness-I saw a man with one ere
named wilkins.
Lawyer-What was the name OF ths
other eye?
Russian battle songs are written In
minor keys. and instead Of being bril-
liantly martial are sad. telling Of the
soldiers fate.
The population Of the earth at the
time of Emperor Augustus was. esd-
mated at 100000. It is now estf-
mated to be about 1.5S5O00,OOO.
The horsepower Of an engine can be
found by the following rule: Square
TIC NiaAACtSA "a tue SJA JA4hASE anu d4SA1G
By two.
Grasshoppers have neither lungs nor
gills, bat air enters breathing pores
and is conveyed by tubes to all parts
c: the body.
"Are you in pain, my little mAnT"
asked the kind old gentleman.
pains IN me-"
Sadie-Say, honest now. do you like
Maggie? Pauline Well, she's got q
good heart. an she means real well,
but Sadie-Neither do I.-Exchange.
Waiter-Be careful Of the soup, gen
tlemen. 1t is SO hot that it has scaId-
ed both my thumbs.-Meggend
Batter
MoOnShine has been found to have 3
marked effect on stammering. People
SO afflicted stammer most at the full Of
the mOOn.-LOndOn Scraps.
"COol as a cucumber" is correct SCI
entiicaIly, for that vegetable usually
the surrounding atmosphere.
There are at least 214 groups OF
signs used in Chinese, each group COD
tanning from 3 to 1854 separate char
acters.
By a remarkable law OF royal eti-
quette which has existed for a number
% 81 -
son is permitted to sleep in an apart
ment situated above that occupied by
the king. A deliberate breach Of this
rule has on more than one occasion
been punished by death.
While auntie arranged the pantry
shelves her little niece handled the
spice boxes and called each spice by
name. Presently she said. "Auntie,
can read" Can you. dear" answered
auBtie. Yes, auntie." came the reply,
but | don't read like you do. read
by the smeII."-DeIineator.
The great editor carefully read the
aspiring contributors joke, then, look
ing up from the copy, Inquired:
Where's the other"
"Other? Why, there isn't any other"
"Um! / thought that Noah took two
Of every kind into the ark-"-New York
Times.
A Sunday school teacher told his pu-
pills at the end Of his lesson that he
would give chem a summary. A little
boy asked:
what Is a summary. pleaseT'
"a summary is an abbreviated synOp-
sis Of anything" was the lucid answer.
Exchange
From the oldest known coin, bearing
Inscription 1900 B. c., to the latest
products Of the mint. the dates, en-
blems and inscriptions form a cOnttnu-
Gus history, cOrTObOrating and correct
Ing written history. and give Us the
only Iikeuesses we have Of some OF the I,
great men Of ancient times.
There is a man in London who is
bit absentminded. but his pol!teness
never fails him. He went to church
last Sunday. and when the minister
said "T of uG Dr9V'' no rpSDOn0pd in