Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1910-07-07
More Trouble With
Bill DOOley'S Liniment
Written by Jimmy K. IOhn especially for
the News.

the News
Well, as have never written to the
News, will give the readers few of
my troubles. On coming in home the
other day from trip out west, found
that one of my friends was nearly past
walking with sore foot which was
very badly swelled He asked me
what was the matter with him and 1
told him he was taking the enlarge
ment of the foot, and if he didn't do
something for it, it would finally get
so big he couldn't veal a shoe ON it.
Then he asked me what to do for it,
and told him to try Billiards. Snow
Liniment ON it. and he would come
around all right
Well, he made a mistake and got
Dooley's Eminent, and bathed all ov-
er with it, and very many of the
News readers know how Bill Dooley's
liniment serves man or beast, as Bill
has told the history of it in the News.
Well, he bathed it in the morning
and reported better at noon, and every
thing was going nicely, but soon after
noon he thought he could pillow. that
evening and went and caught his
horse. but sad to say. when he went
to jump on his horse he just kept on
going higher and higher until he was
out of sight. Then his wife ran to
me saying, Jim. Jim, my husband
has gone to heaven alive" / said,
"No, surely not. /" She said, Yes,
he is gone. He went to jump on the
horse to ride to the field, and just kept
going higher and higher until he went
clear out of my sight. Then saw
she was telling the real truth, for she
was crying, and l went to see if
could find out how it happened and
did.
I found that he had bathed with
Dooley's Liniment instead of Billiards.
and then told the woman what was
the matter. and that he would come
back by and by, and be we'll when he
came. That was the last we had heard
of him for three days and then the re-
port came out in daily paper that
there was strange bird sailing around
over Chicago and it was shaped Just
like man, which was creating
great excitement among the people of
that place, and it stayed about the
same distance from the ground all the
time. 1t wouldn't get near enough to
kill. Just as soon as saw the paper
I h8lephoned to them not to hurt him,
and if anybody had an air ship to
catch him, that he was a man that
made a mistake and used Dooley's
Linimeht and left in Utah direction
and instructed them to place him in
the hospital and would pay the bill
whatever it was. The next we heard
of him, here came letter, saying,
"We got the man all right. There is
nothing wrong with him except his
mind is slightly injured. We can
bring him around all right We will
send you the bill when he gets nearly
we'll. So we will close, hoping to
have no trouble in getting our pay.
Then every thing went on nicely for
about three weeks, and my friends
wife was about to loose her mind too.
Then here came another letter saying,
Jimmy K. John:
Dear Sir:
Your man is just about well and we
enclose the bill, $50 for getting him
and $3.50 for doctor bill; total 81, 900,
and we advise you to send it, together
with enough money to pay his way
back home at once. We close hoping
to get our money SOON
Well, didn't know what to do for
I didn't have one cent 1t went on
this way about three weeks and at
last they telephoned me to send their
money at once or they would send the
officer after me. Well, in about two
weeks here came the officer and the
first knew of him he just walked up
and said, lis your name Jimmy K.
John2" and l said, ''Yes sir, Cap
tain. what do you want with meY'
And he said. 81 want that money . l
said, "What money! 1.-THE money
you promised for curing that fellow.
He is we'll and want the kale seed or
you one. and must have it?'' Well, 1 |
wanted trip to Chicago, and said,
"You will have to take me as have
not got the price. He said, "Well,
we will catch the next train and 60.
SO put on my best clothes and armed
myself with package of Dofetchit's
Love Powders and we started When
we got there he put me in prison and
kept me there about three days and
brought me out for trial. In the
crowd was the governor. When they