Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1910-03-25
OoNNNNNN~ON

ue sun 10 very ION, uOClOT. les,
indeed don't think it will last
through the night"
Mother-Alice, it is bedtime. All
the little chickens have gone to bed.
Alice-Yes, mamma, and so has the
hen.
''My new book is out" How much?"
Haven't heard from my publisher yet,
but / suspect ABOUT S-0)."-Atlanta
Constitution.
Rosa?" 81 don't want my friends to
think that you were the only man 1
could CATCH"
Examiner-Now, children, what is
the difference between pro" and
con? Bright Boy-Please, sir they
are spelt different.
Said He-Since l met you l have
only one thought. Said She-Well,
that's one more than you had when
we met-Chicago Daily News.
Beggar-Say, mister, would youse
give pore feller dime ter save his
! life? Stranger-I should say not. I'm
an MISUNDERSTANDING News.
She-I have just discovered that the
diamonds IN the diadem you gave me
last year are false. He-Why, then,
they just suit your golden hair.
Does your husband ever speak
harshly to your" mo. Thank heaven,
my husband and l are not on speak
ing ms."-Chicago Record-Herald.
Visitor-What became of that other
windmill that was here last year? Ma
tive-There was only enough wind for
script.
Dorella-I take a long walk every
morning for my complexion. Mordelle
Why, l thought there was drug
store just around the corner.-Chicago
Daily News.
She-Short stories seem quite the
thing just now. He-I should say So.
Nearly every fellow l meet stops and
tells me how short he is.-Boston
Transcript.
She-Some day want to show you
our family tree. He docking at her
admiringly)-I should like to see it.
l am sure it must be peach.-Somer-
vile Journal.
"Is Browns place in history secure?'
Secure! I should think it is. Six
men have already made affidavits to
prove that he doesn't deserve it."-De-
troit Free Press.
Wont you try to love me?" he
sighed. 81 have tried" she replied,
kindly but firmly. "My rich aunt has
just died." he went on. "In that case,
dear, l will try again"
I'D like to get on some big New
York newspaper" what could you do
on New York newspaper" well,
believe l could write the uncon-
firmed rumors. ."-Pittsburg Post.
Belle-How silly men act when they
proposed! Why, my husband acted like
. a perfect fool. Nelle-That's what
everybody thought when your engage.
ment was announced.-Cleveland
Leader.
when I returned from our poker
party last night my wife just looked
, at me; not a word was spoken" my
. wife looked at me, too, and / don't
believe that a word was unspoken."-
Houston Post.
THAT is a hallucination you have
about possessing a weak heart. Three
weeks treatment with me will dissi.
pate all of your fears" "Dissipate my
} fears? Gee, doc, that's how l got my
weak heart."-St. Louis Star.
"Old Moneybags is afraid that prince
he bought for his daughter is bogus
one" "Why so?" when 1t came to
settling up he asked for the princes
debts, and the fellow told him he
hadn't any."-Baltimore American.
Elsa-Oh, mamma, my bread and
butter has fallen butter side down
again! Mother (to her governess)-
Miss Smith, must ask you to be more
careful to butter the child's bread on
the right side.-Meggendorfer Blatter.
"Here," said the editor, "are num-
ber of directions from outsiders as the
best way to run a newspaper. See
that they are all carried out" And the
office boy, gathering them all into a
large waste basket, did so.-Green Bag.
"You say it was your double that
stole the chickens?" ''Yessuh." you
know l gave you thirty days once for
chicken stealing" "Ah remembah,
suh." "Well, this time you get sixty.
That's the courts double"
phia Ledger.