Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-12-02
NERo's QUICK METHOD.
Cid Roman Fixed Opponents So Thev
Wouldn't Come Back.


back yards in the block look roolish
The other families in the neighborhood
finally changed their wash dav m
Tuesday to escape tn" humjliatinp
comparison. Mrs. Caius Tiberius Ouin,
tu5 oCassius. Who lived next door
fancied she had two pretty good pairs
before the Nero family moved in and
showed her up. After that she hung
her ciothesline in the basement like
the rest of the neighbors
\er" became Emperor when he va.
only Il years old. His early accession
to the throne he owed entirely To his
mother Agrippjna. who thoughtfs.lly
poisoned the Emperor Claudius when
1t began 10 look as though the old
man intended to defer dying until a
later date than Nero Lad fixed hjs
hcart on. Any Roman Emperor who
fancied he was going TO die of old age
could have been convicted of soften
ing OF the brain III any Court in Rome
After sitting up several nights tbi1,;-
ing hard the writer has been unable
t. remember Single Roman Eiayfr-
or WHO died of old age uncompic2ted
by theological symptoms. Agripnina
had married Claudius after creating
tile proper vacancy by putting ptom-
aines in his wifes soup, and then in
duced the Emperor to adopt Nero.
Ever. at this early day Nero exhibited
many evidences that he would make
good Roman Emperor Besides nIar-
ing the fiddle he combincd taste for
Greek art and murder that held forth
great promise of future usefulness to
the state. Aerippina's training lad
n"t been in vain. as Nero showed by
attempting to drown Tire Old lad as
soon as he found himscI! N the throne.
Although he failed in this frs: at
tempt, the earnest pre- parations he ad
made indicated that the failure was
not the fault Of carelessness. He was
deeply mortified at the slip. however.
and tor several days couldn't look MS
mother in the face. conscious that he
deserved reproach for his clumslcss
after ali her patient lessons Many
and many night had the noble Wild
oW sat up with her fat';C~less boy at
her knee teachin" him his mur. Ter
primer, and now al his very first at
tempt TO carry out h,T precepts he
had made q coarse bundle of it. Tut
did Nero give up discouraged. as many
a man would nave done under thuse
circumstances No, With noble per-
severance and patient. unweaIied en-
deavor he followed his mother t. her
villa whence she had fed. surrounded
the place with soldiers and had her
successfully strangled in the night.
1T may have not been as artistic as
his first plan. but, as Nero well re-
marked to Seneca the next morning.
lite is short and art is long.
Flushed with this success Nero cast
about to see whom he could practice
on next and happened to think Of
his wife OCtaNia. He didn't have any
thing against her in particular. but
he was just naturally tired of seeing
her around. And, anyway, Poppaca
Sabina. a lady who lived across the
street, did her hair much prettier. and
Nero had reason to believe that were
Octavia out of the way she would let
him come over and sit in the ham
mock. Once Poppaea had said coyiy
that if she got a chance she would
push Octavia Off the dock herself.
She was just crazy to be Empress and
wear crown and have her head on
tho coin. which was a privilege of the
Roman Expresses. Lots of people
have tried to get ahead on the coin.
and so perhaps Poppaea is not to be
blamed. After getting rid of Octavla.
her brother ,Britannicus, and others of
his family who cluttered up the pal
ace, Nero turned his attention to other
branches of art. He appeared on the
stage as an actor competed in the
public games, drove charots. threw
the discus and a number of other
Wrestlers who challenged him. and
took down all the garlands and cups
that We're offered. 1t wasn't con-
sidered polite to win any trophies from
Nero and he was always sure of
favorable notices in the papers. Any
paper that failed to speak well of his
acting could be purchased at a bargain
the next morning.
His eXtravagant way of living told
on his purse after while and he
burned Rome down to get the insur-
ance. While the fire ragged he sat on
his front porch playing "There'll Be
Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight
on his fiddle They came to him the
next morning and told him there was
no money to rebuild the town with.
Nero thought deeply for moment ana
then an inspiration struck him.
Fine every country editor 10 SEES
terces who says in the next issue OF
his paper that Rome will rise like
phoenix from its ashes" he ordered,
Thus Rome was rebuilt more mag
nificently than before.
Considering the riSkiness of the Jop
ii is a matter for wonder now that any
one should have desired to be Roman
Emperor But as often as the job was
vacant hundreds answered the want
ad. in the male help column. NO
body ever declined the Roman En-
pire. except the late Mr.. Gibbon, VINO
declined it in six volumes. Nero
hung onto the job ii years which is
remarkable record. At last an insur-
gent movement, which begun III
1llyria. spread to the other provinces,
direct primary was held and Galba was
nominated for Emperor. In the cleo
tons even the Pretorian Guard was
defeated and the Senate became pro-
gressive. Giving out an interVle"
that the results of the election were
due entirely to local conditions. Neto
hastily swallowed poison. Internal
conditions did the rest.