The Holbrook news., 1910-01-14

Examiner-Now, children, what Is
 the difference between pro" and
 "con?" Bright Boy-Please, sir, they're
 spelt different.-Punch. 1 Placed your order for an aeroplans
 yeti" No, I'm waiting to find out what the 1910 style of house mortgage ! Is going to be."-Detroit Free Press
 You can't tell what sort of cook wife will make" And you can't
 tell what sort of a wife a cook will
 make, and there you are"-Washing ton Herald
 Why did you accept George?" He
 was so much more original than the other fellows" Tn what way" He
 was the one that asked me to be his wife."-Puck
 Servant (who has been sent to chas-
 tise stray eat for stalking chickens) Il couldn't-catoh i'm n mum-for
 the nearer I got to im-the further @ got away.-Punch
 Cashier-You'n have to bring some one to identify you before we can cash this check. Got any friends in the town Stranger-Not one, I'm the tax colleetor-Exchange
 When you first saw Niagara Falls, did you feel that almost irresistiblei pulse to throw yourself over the preci- pfce that so many eXperience2~ No. I hadn't seen my hOtel-bilI yet
 ''Owd Georges wooden legs been giving him pain lately" Don't you be balkin so foolish, Willum" Its sure enough. Is owd woman been a-whoppin' i'm wi ft"-London Opin- ion
 Tt is too bad that Peary did not know before his last dash for the pole that Cook had been there ahead of him." ''Why2" Because he would have been hot all the way there and back again. ."-Houston Post
 You have an enormous appetite" said thin man enviously. What do you take for tt2" %-In all my expert ence," replied his plump friend .'I have found nothing more suitable than food. Philadelphia Inquirer. |. Mr Brown and his family were standing in front of the lion cage. John said Mrs. Brown. eff those animals were to escape, whom would you save frst-me or the children?' Me" answered John without hesita- ton"
 Beautiful Girl-Gardsner. don't make flower bed there It will spoil our croquet ground. Gardener-Can't help it. miss. Them's my orders Your father says he is going to have this garden devoted to horticulture, not husbandry"
 You say it was your double that stole the chickens?" "Yassuh." You know gave you thirty days once for stealing?" "Ah remembah. suh" Well. this time you get sixty. That's the courts double. ."-Philadel- ohia Ledger.
 Back from your two weeks, see.' Yep" T presume you got engaged number of times?" Nav; things don't go like that in real life. somehow I got engaged the first week all right enough, but 1t took me all the second week to break it off off''-Washington Herald.
 Jones'" said the veterinary sur ,eon. who had called to attend Jones' ,et dog. you should take better care ,f this canine's teeth. Why" asked Jones. do you think they are becom- ng decayed?" Mo-" answered the veterinary. but just as I came in he put most of them in my leg."-St. Louis Star.
 And to think, to think" quoth she. that such heavenly bliss that fell to ny lot might have escaped me for ,veri Dear Bob, Did I ever tell you le had proposed to me twice?" Then he unsympathetic auditor assumed an Lir of innocence. Didn't you hear Jim the first time?" she inquired with aised eyebrows.
 Two ladies, previously unacquainted. were conversing at reception. After
 few conventional remarks the young 1T exclaimed: 'I cannot think what las upset that tall blonde man over here. He was so attentive a little while ago, but he won't look at me Iow." Perhaps, said the other, ne aw me come in. He's my husbandi" Philadelphia Inquirer.
 But. darling" murmured the love orn youth, every night for two weeks
 have been on my pended knees be- ore you. Have you no pity?" T cer- ainly have. Horace spoke up the retty firt, as she reached for her andbag; here's a whole quarter. Go ave your trousers pressed. After so luch bending they must be baggy at he knees s.''-Wasp.
 commuter was walking up and own the platform waiting for the rain that always seemed to be delay d. This is a terrible road" he said, a prosperous-looling by- lander. I've heard a great many
 sk