The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1910-07-01
HIS AUNTIE JULIA.
She Is Really a Wonderful Woman
In Her Own Way.
A GREAT HAND WITH YARBS.

She Can Brew Them Into Medicine
That Hits the Spot Every Time and
10 Better Than a Doctors Visit.
How She Made Old Pulsifer Jump.
! my Aunt Julia is really wonder
ful woman" exclaimed the low browed
man, placing his feet on the managers
desk. "She hasn't any diplomas from
medical colleges, but when 1t comes to
curing a sick man she can give the
ordinary doctor start Of ten years
and beat him around block. Aunt
Julia has frm faith in yarbs'-
"You mean herbs," interrupted the
professor.
Il don't mean anything Of the kind
mean YARDS. You go over to Aunt
Julia and mention YARDS, and her eyes
will brighten up and she'll ask you to
sit down and eat piece Of pie, but
If you began talking about herbs she'd
paste you one with her trusty sauce
pan and knock off a corner Of your
scalp. Aunt Julia is pretty touchy
about some things.
zone day old Mrs. Doolittle blew
into the house to spend the afternoon,
and Aunt Julia happened to say that
something happened in Aprile. Mrs.
Doolittle thinks she knows more than
Webster's unadulterated dictionary be-
years ago, when she was young wo-
man, and she called my aunt down and
said that there was no such word as
Aprile.
"'You mean April, my dear says
she.
"T don't mean any such doggone
thing says my aunt 4 mean Aprile.
and If you don't like 1t, Mrs. Doolittle.
you can lump 1t, and be blamed to
you
"Well, they famed away for FIVE
minutes or 80, and their language be-
gan to make the shingles fall off the
roof, and was thinking Of sending in
hurry call for the cops, when Mrs.
Doolittle left the house by way of the
window and jumped three fences with
out touching them in her haste to get
home. A lot Of saucepans and other
household utensils whizzed past her
ears and seemed to stimulate her.
"That's the sort of woman Aunt
Julia is. Now, If you want to 60 over
and talk to her about herbs won't
interfere.
IF there's anything my aunt delights
in 1t Is doctoring people. She hasn't
bit Of use for drug store medicines.
She brews her own remedies, and she
doesn't think anything will help
sick person unless 1t tastes like the
royal palace Of Abyssinta. A dose Of
her collie medicine will make a mans
insides feel as though he had swal-
lowed porcupine.
II had the collie last summer, and the
medicine she made for me had smoke
on 1t. I can taste 1t yet. Sometimes
dream that Aunt Julia is handing me
a spoonful of her collie medicine, and
then always wake with yell. She
Is an old fashioned woman. She gath
ers her YARDS at certain stages of the
moon, and when she is brewing her
medicines she mutters incantations
and makes passes with her hands and
does a lot Of tricks that make your
blood run cold. But her remedies hit
the spot.
"Old man Pulsifer, you know, was
a hopeless invalid for year. He sat
in a wheeled chair, and his wife fed
him with the fire shovel, and all the
members of the family were kept so
busy waiting on him that they hadn't
time to wind the clock or prime the
pump. He said he had paralysis of
the worst kind, and everybody believed
him. Aunt Julia went over there one
day and looked at the old mans tongue
and poked him In the ribs and tapped
him with tuning fork and said she
could cure him up 80 quick it would
make his head swim.
"Tf you can cure that man 80 he'll
be of some use in the world said Mrs.
Pusifer, 'I'n give you the silk crazy
quilt my grandmother gave me when
she was dying
Aunt Julia gathered a lot Of YARDS
at the dark of the moon in the south.