davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-11-20

hero shud do just about tn time he
finds he's hero. He dove into tn
coal cellar. don't think he done it
quick enough. If I was him / wud've
made me escape arlier. I wud've ex-
cused mesilf firm tn embrace so that
1 wudden't have to fight to keep firm
bein' throttled. II liver become a hero
I'd be tn on'y prominent citizen miss
in firm tn ovation. They wud meet,
but they wud miss me. / might satisfy
me pride be goin' up tn night befure
an lookin' at tn lori wreaths. tn tisty-
monyals, tn blue inmortelles an tn
gates ajar. But whin me enthusyastic
fellow-citizens gathered in tn mornin'
to do me honor with an address iv
welcome in their left hands an their
right in their hip pockets. a sthrange
man muffied up to tn eyes might be seen
boordin' q freight rr Keokuk. 1t wud
be tn heero who took no chances. Maybe
Tiddy Rosenfelt injyes bein' a hero so
iv bein' lynched aftherward.
"Annyhow. what is there f'r him to
say. TIL best We can do FIR a hero
whin he's escaped tn just indignation
iv his admirers be a fut or two is to
give him a chance to catch his breath.
Let him hide FIR awhile in comfort.
He's down in tn cellar with tn most
prominent an digniaed people in tn
wurruld hurlin' things at where they
think he is, an invitin' him to come
out if he dares. Maybe he'll wait fr
awhile an thin put a few Jumps Nv
ccal in his pockets. slip out tn back
way an fall on tn thriumphal pro-
cissyon just as it's breakin' up Ye
niver can tell.
But WHATEVER he does we'll all be
glad to see him again. Ye can bet on
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-11-20

that Aven IL / was a mimber iv tn
Bankers Protective ASSOCIATION Ia
say that much. We can't he mad at
a man because he thried to knock or
yeer stovepipe hat. onless we don't like
him. If we ra-aly don't like him We
cud be mad at him about anything.
But didn't start to talk about Tiddy
Rosenfelt Can't we get off that sub
Thanksgivin'. an we turned me mind
away firm it. What I was gon' to say
don't reminder. 1t was somethin'
about, let me see, oh, that we ought
to be thankful ivry day in tn year
an not wait ontil we get notice firm
tn authorities that onless we appear
on tin last Thursdah in NOVEMBER our
names will be sthricken firm tn rolls.
I don't like to have Thanksgiyin'
possess notice. I defy tn polls to
ordher me to be thankful next week
week afther. I refuse to be ordered
around. " coorse / amt goin' to he
ritter. I won't make amy throuble.
TIL gov'nor won't have to tell me 10
move on an be thankful III be
thankful on Thanksgivin' day whin
ivrybody is, accordin' to law. an I'll
be thankful tn day afther whin there's
no legal raison why / shud be. We
can't be thankful too much or too often.
1t don't get ye much, but it makes We,
injye what we get more
IT haven't been payin' amy attintion
to what We said" Mr. Hennessy re-
marked DO We think Taft an Rosen-
felt are frindly?"
They might be-" said Mr.. Dooiey. III
they didn't have so NANNY frinds."
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-11-20

Berlin's city hall. Berlin's burgomeister
does not go to court.
About once a year he and the city IA
theirs are allowed to stand bareheaded
near the Brandenburg gate and read a
loyal address, while the kaiser sits in
differently in his carriage or on morse
back. Etiquette does not permit his
majesty to shake hands with them. Inc
kaiser has been made a freeman OF Lon
don city, but he does not regard it as an
honor.
Being an excellent fellow. Prince Henry
smiled on the New York comedy. But he
offended etiquette by shaking hands with
Seth Low, of whom the German chroni-
cler says seriously, His face beam d
with joy when the prince graciously shook
his hand" If the crown prince comes
home through America he Will have to
shake hands with Mayor Gaynor, and ETH
quotte will have fit.
. a
At this point, it will be judged, etiquette
is at the point Of death. But her suffer-
ings are not over. At Boston, Secretary
OF the Navy Long told Henry that If he
were an American citizen he would GER
tainly be elected mayor! Mr.. Long ought
to have known that etiquette does not
allow compliments to royalties That
royalties possess all the virtues and
graces Is taken for granted. Miserable
Henry was complimented from his ar
rival till his departure. He was told that
he had gained the sympathies of the
United States" that he was a good fell
low" and so on; and Mr.. Roosevelt even
complimented him in cable to the
kaiser. The princes adjutant. Gen Won
Plessen, was SO shocked that he re-
marked: They'll next tell him he's
gentleman" If the crown prince
visits America some one will compliment
him on the cut of his trousers. Or some
one will say to the Baroness Won Tiele-
Winckler that the crown princess is look
ing pretty fresh, and the shocked old
lady will roll on the floor and give up the
ghost
Etiquette was angry at the prince
shaking hands all around. What she thinks
of this is only limited in a passage from
Herr Daverrenz's history of the tour.
Forgetting that he was scion or
royalty, and that they were ordinary men.
the pleased prince graciously shook their
hands, Sometimes he shook hands with
railroad men. What was worse. some OF
them were German Americans. and they
wrote about it to Berlin, and this spread
the news Of etiquettes downfall. If the
crown prince goes to America and shakes
hands with American railroad men he Will
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-11-20

proclymations ARE an item a mans
lible to overlook anyhow in sarchin'
FIR tn latest intelligence iv TIL day In
tn papers. I don't think tn EDITORS
pays enough attintion to thin. They're
frivolous young fellows an ar-re far
more lible to give tn first page to a
fut ball game or an account iv a naughty
American arrystocrat kickin' tn
Fr-rinch count, his son-in-law, thin to
tn utthrances iv tn wisest men iv our
day on n subjict iv' tn highest i'm
portance to tn wurruld. Ivry year tn
President Nv tn United States, tn
gov'nor, tn mayor. an 1 amt sure but
tn chief iv polls. tn clerk iv tn
probate coort an tn coroner goes into
tn back room, locks tn dure. takes
pair iv shears in his hand an tell us
officyally. mind We. what we've got to
be thankful FIR. It's a tur-ruble jooty
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-11-20

sia.'' in which he five times said. you
or your" and did not once say: Your
royal highness." Alice Roosevelt did
worse. She cabled, reporting the launch
to his majesty the kaiser" horrifying
the court sticklers. for every one. they
said, in Mortified whisper, knows that
you should cable to 1.-THE German en-
peror Berlin Also. though young
woman with 10 official position. she used
thrice the derogatory you At Co
lumbus, Ohio. the late Representative
Joseph Cultivate abruptly began an adj
dress with the words Prince Henry"
And twenty-one times said you or
your" Only one man in America said
your royal highness" more than twice,
and that was Mayor Fleischmann of Gin
cinnati, whose name" says Herr Leiner,
explains his knowledge of German ETH
quette.
Mr.. Roosevelt's unetiquettical heartineSs
led him into worse trouble. Etiquette has
enshrined In a minute protocol how presi-
dents should receive acknowledgements
AT the White House DR.. Won Holleben.
Germanys ambassador, tried to present
the prince with the words. Mr.. Presi-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-11-20

They don't understand etiquette" The
Americans, she affirmed, would hail the
future empress as crown princess" or
even cry Say, missus." The baroness
is chief "hofdame'' or mistress Of the
court of the crown princess. and she
owes her enormous influence to the fact
that it was she who initiated the mex
perienced crown princess into the ponder
Gus mysteries Of PrusSian court ceremony
and etiquette. On this subject she Is
reputeed to be the greatest living au-
thOrity.
The crown princess still has the
bashful, somewhat hoydenish manners
commoner in her native Mecklenburg-
Schwerin than in rigid Berlin. knowing
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-11-20

dent. / have the honor to introduce his
royal highness Prince Henry of Prussia
Before he finished the word Mr." the
President seized the astounded Henry's
hand and shook it heartily. Being an in
dulgent fellow, Henry pardoned the in
jury. But etiquette is rhadamanthine
judge, and stored up the blunder in
memory which would stagger the Muse
Mnemosyne. and now Mr.. Roosevelts
heartinass is one more reason why the
crown prince must come home through
muddy Siberia.
Etiquette is a frigid, respectable lady,
and dislikes demonstrativeness. Ever since
the Roman Caesars she has held the UNI
alterable rule that it is bad manners to
applaud royalties.
Good manners demand from inferior
mortals a digrifed reverence. to be an
swered from above with a condescending
bow
Now, If the crown prince goes to Amer
lea people will clap hands at him. and
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-11-20

MFRS. MARTHA LANG MATTHISON.
IVl the Denver cooking expert, said in
a recent lecture on The Choice OF the
Thanksgiving Turkey"
1.-THE most aristocratic girls are taught
the science Of the kitchen nowadays. Il
is no longer as 1t was In my childhood.
I'm my childhood, as ] waited in q
butchers, heard a customer say:
What sort Of q person Is the woman
who has taken the Chew houser
oh, a perfect lady? the butcher cried
warmly. She can't tell . sirloin Of beef
from a leg Of lamb
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-11-20

even roar three cheers. They did this
to Henry. When the prince appeared In
the gallery Of the House of Representa-
tives at Washington he was offended by
a loud burst Of applause. The same thing
happened at the New York Metropolitan
opera. The audience clapped its repub-
lican hands. and cheered the unlucky
Hohenzollernsprig. Sharp-eared etiquette
heard the echo across the Atlantic. and
has not forgotten it. And, worst of all,
the prince was obliged to arise and bow
like common Ca
russo.
Things went from bad to worse. The
prince was given the freedom of New
York city. At this news etiquette nearly
committed suicide. She did not know
that such things as cities exist. At
hor-a Prince uerrr-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-11-20
MIR. Dooley on Thanksgiving
By Finley Peter Dunno.

f'r some ~ these statesmen SO soon
afther iliction. But they do it nobly.
an 1t ought to be a great ivint. It
ought to be tn wan thing in tn year
that people wud look for'ard to. Ye'd
think there'd be crowds in tn sthreet
waitin' FIR flashlights firm TIL top iv
TIL newspa- aper Offices f'r to announce
whether tn mayor had ordhered thin
to be thankful f'r abundant crops or
not. At this minyit We shud be waitin'
with a penny in ye'er hand f'r tn
exthry on tn Thanksgivin' proclyma-
ton. But ye're not. TIL wurruk Nv
these sages is wasted on We. No
wondher many Nv thin ARE paclin'
a. few ink wells an pa-aper weights
into their grips an gettin' ready to
lave tn public service.
IT'S pretty hard on a man that's
devoted his life to his country as long
as tn country wud have him an thin
made ivry sacrifice to hold on a little
longer, to set down on a bleak Novem-
Der Afternoon with tears In his eyes
an tn returns firm tn third precinct
Nv tn twinty-eighth ward ringin' in
his ears an shout out a message calm
on We in olaryon tones to be thankful
because there's been a good hay crop
in Ioway. an thin have We pay no at
tintion to it. How do We expict public
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-11-20

later be expected t0 shake hands with
German railroad men. And II he sets
about that he might just as we'll abdi-
cate.
And the crown prince would have
to smile to the American mob. Think
of what happened to Henry. AS he
drove to New York city hall with Ad-
miral Bob Evans and Ambassador Won
Holleben, stockholders pelted him with
confetti extracted from tape-machines.
At Harvard he was deafened with the
Harvard YELL On the journey from
Cincinnati to Chattanooga he was kept
awake all night. At every station wait.
ed crowds that tried to pull hin out or
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-11-20

her own defects, she takes Baroness
Won Tiele-Winckler wherever she goes.
in the certainty that the "hofdame'
will get her out of scrapes and tell
her what to do at the right moment.
In appearance the baroness is a
stout good humored looking belle
dame" but her benignant exterior COW
ers the most rigid and awful ideas OF
the fitness of imperial things. She pre-
fers to call herself simply frau rath-
err than baroness on the ground that
really old families do not need the vul-
gar titles which are bought daily by
successful bankers and railroad build
ers. Her own family. according to her
proud boast, was known in Suabia in
the eleventh century.
x x
Frau Won Tiele-Winckler is a particular
favorite Of the Kaiserin Augusta Victoria.
Her pull here is religion. She rigidly
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-11-20

stringent way: but the crown princess re-
fused to support her; and the empress OF
etiquette had the first serious fall of her
life. The malicious affirm that her pro-
test against the idea Of the crown prin-
cess visiting America is due to dread Of
being found at a loss in handling the in
Vulnerable new problems of ceremony and
etiquette which would arise out of the
novel situation.
But to return to the crown princes
desire to come home by way Of the
United States. Uncle Heinrich'S visit
proved to the baroness and to official
Germany in general that the United
States doesn't appreciate the terrific dig
nifty of a Hohenzollernsprig OF course
this terrible, truth was not divulged at
the. time. and only now when the crown
prince wants to see America are the real
facts leaking out. President Roosevelt
was the first offender From the White
House he sent a welcoming telegram ad-
dressed rudely prince Henry of Prus-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-11-20

officers to sarve We If We threat thin
like this? Ar-re We heartless or is tn
fault theirs? Maybe they don't expriss
thimsilves right. I amt sure but that
that's tn throuble. They don't put
their heart into their wurruk, as Hogan
always says to his helper. Supposin'
TIL boys wud put in just how they feel,
We might want to read their stuff.
Thin, instead iv havin' message
firm a progressive republican askin
us to kick up our heels over tn pro-
duction iv spinach, we'd have somethin'
like this: OWN to immemoryal usage
it's me jooty to call yeer attintion to
a few things that We shud be thank
full FIR, but can't think Nv amy. Fol-
lowin' tn example iv me predecessors
1 have to notify We that we have in
deed been greatly blessed with tn
products Nv nature, but that doesn't
in amy way make me f'rget tn
threachery at tn polls that deprived
tn republic iv wan iv it's most self
sacrificin' servants an compelled him
to 60 back to tn practice iv tn law.
But what's tn use Nv me wastin' me
time talkin' with tn likes iv We. Most
Nv We didn't vote FIR me anyhow. AS
fr tn rest Nv We. what We lacked in
numbers We did not make up in en-
thusyasm. So I lave We to ye'er fate
an will now go home an sob mesilf to
shleep. Be tn gov'nor, tn sicrety Nv
state, who has also lost his job
Thin ye'd have a message firm Will
lum Taft like this: This has been a
remarkable year on tn whole. L don't
know If liver seen such a year. 1t
started in bad, an I was in great
despair at wan time. In tn middle Nv
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-11-20
BERLIN, November

T is impossible for
a Hohenzollern to
visit America with
out one of two
things happening
He must either
make himself ride.
ulous and popular,
or keep his dignity
and lose his popu.
larity." So writes
Herr Leiner. a
newspaper man oil
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-11-20

Dresden, apropos of the crown princes
desire to return from his Asiatic journey
through the United States instead of
through muddy Siberia. But Herr Leiner
says that after the 'orrible experiences of
Prince Henry of Prussia in the year of
our Lord 1902 no Hohenzollernsprig this
is q German idiom) will visit America
again. "Optimum est aliens frui insania''
is the crown princes motto. 1t can be
roughly translated. II have learned by
the frightful example OF Uncle Heinrich
in America
The tragic fact is that the great Euro
pean god etiquette today bars the path
OF all acknowledgements with American
yearnings The Prussian court has not
yet recovered from the decline and fall
of Prince Henry when he attended nine
years ago the launch of the kaiser's
yacht Meteor. True, officially the visit
was great success. Kaiser Wilhelm and
President Roosevelt exchanged compli-
mentary kilograms; and the beaming
prince assured US that he hoped some day
to return. But that was etiquette telling
lies, although Henry really had an ex-
cellent time, and thoroughly enjoyed him
self. But he did so only by lowering the
royal dignity, and so he offended eti-
quette. And now injured etiquette de-
NicNS Win lLcAOFdDlnty Ine
other Hohenz0llernsprig shall not follow
In his footsteps.
What makes the objection of etiquette
weightier still is that the crown princess
would have TO accompany him. And the
living incorporation of etiquette in all
Beein happens to be the crown princess
friend and motherly adviser. Baroness
Won Tiele-Winck'er, an elderly lady with
an agreeable smile and more etiquette
in her head than there are microbes in
quarantine barge. 1t was she, says
rumor, who first tainted when the crown
prince declared that he would like to
visit America. You forget that you are
not travelling alone" she gasped on COM
ing to. What would become of the
'rown princess in that awful country?
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-11-20

pened to notice if
there's been amy
changes i'm this
years styles Nv
T h a n k s 6 i V / n
pro c l Y m atoms,
have ye," said
Mr.. Dooley. We'll,
nayether have I.
II h a n k s g i vi n
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-11-20

Copyright. 1910. 10y F. 2. Dunne)
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-11-20

sunshine and the protector Of all tn
fruits of the soil
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1910-10-07
Fought Under an Umbrella.

Sai!Itc Bculc WAS scarcely more
famous for his writings than for his
appearance on a certain OCCASION on
the field Of honor. Tho cause of
the rupture was ridiculous, and the
quarrel had been forced upon him
by the other party with murderous
intent. On the morning of the
meeting it rainrl heavily, but the
gloom which overcast everything
was in y measure turned TO mirth
by Saintc-Bcuvc taking his place
armed with a pistol Of the period of
Francis L. and a large umbrella,
which he proceeded to raise and
hold over himself The seconds
begged him not TO turn so serious
matter into jest "Gcntlemcn," he
answered. IN Dubois has under
taken to kill nc today Very we'll.
| am willing to he killed, but not to
get wet" -Four shots were cXchang-
ed without effect. so that he au
thor was not obliged to submit to
either '1scomfort.-Ncw York Post,
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1910-10-07
PLANT CIRCULATION.
Comparable With the Circulation Of
Blood In Animals.

6lood IN Animals.
1t is generally known that plants
have circulation comparable with
the circulation of blood in ami
mails, but it is not so we'll known
that their force Of liquid propulsion
is vastly greater than any animals
blood pressure, even the elephants.
The force of an animals blood as it
circuIatcs through the largest ar
tcrics is incapable of raising COL
umn Of water over seven feet high,
whereas the force Of a plants sap,
even Of a small vine, can raise COL
umn of water from forty to eighty
feet high, cxcrting a pressure OF
over two atmosphcrcs.
The way this is shown in the lab
oratorv is to tear off Il small branch
of tree and fix it air tight into a
rather large short tube filled with
water. 10 the bottom end of the
thick tube is attached a small thin
tube filled with colorcd water and
having its lower end immersed in
vessel Of colorr.l water. This cxper.
ilncnt simply shows the rate of alb
sorption Of fluid By plant. The
colorcd water is seen to rise in the
small tube at coin mrativcly rapid
rate, an inch or so a minute 10
show the height to which the pres
sure can force water, tube has to
be fitted into the bark of a plant
and the root supplied with water.
1Ialcs first showed this with a
small vine, which he severed and to
which he applied a tube. The fluid
rose to over forty feet. De Candollc
tried other plants and in one in
stance secured Il height of eighty
feet, or over two atmosphercs' pres
sure. The cause of this force was
long considered due to capillary at
traction caused by the hairlikc
tubes in plants. This failing to ac
count for the enormous force de-
vclopcd, a microscopic examination
showed that these vessels had pro-
gressivc contracting motion similar
to that in the arteries of animals
and that the explanation in each
case was the same.
Thus the vitality or principle of
life that allows this motion is in all
cases the direct causc.-Chicago
Record Herald.
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1910-10-07

Ralph Brown has severed his
connection with the North Star
Lumber Co. and departed last
night for his home in Spokane.
P. j. Hoffman Of Black River
Falls, which is in the state Of
Wisconsin, arrived in the city
Wednesday evening to take look
at the country and mix with home
folks.
The excavation for the base
ment for the Masonic Temple will
be finished this week. and it is
expected that the work of con-
structing the foundation will soon
be commenced.
Oakley Grips, homesteader
who lives about twenty miles
south Of this city, had the mis-
fortune to lose his house, to-
gether with all its contents, TIES
day by fire. His wagon, loaded
with new lumber which he had
just brought home the day before,
and which was standing adjacent
to the house. was also consumed.
Mrs. Grips was alone in the
house at the time the fire broke
out and could do nothing toward
staying the flames. This is a
pretty hard blow to Mr.. and Mrs.
Cripps.
A bunch of travelling men who
were here last Friday brought in
the report that our city had
over one hundred cases of ty-
phoid fever. and they were SO
scared that each provided him
self with a bottle of mineral
water to drink with his meal at
the hotel. They We're surprised
to learn that the report, which
they said was current all up anc
down the line, was false in every
particular. Belield, too, was
coming in for it's share Of atten.
tion, that place being credited
with 100 cases and p deaths.