Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1910-09-02
u u u u 81 /. - :: II II - u u u u ),
SHORT STORIES FOR g
EVENING HOURS !;
.maammmmi !. nm - !
HE'S FATlGUED.

When was in Rome began the
returned traveller, 81 saw"
II don't care what you saw" inter-
rupted the peevish man. 1T would be
impossible Tor you to see anything in
Rome that would be Of interest to me.
A lot of jays went abroad last summer
and every time they meet me they be-
gin telling me of the strange manners
and customs Of the Dyaks, or the ruin
ed temples of Greece, or the noble ca
thedrals in Timbuctoo. ! haye stood
II as long as | am going to and the
next man who tries to tell me about
his thrilling adventures in the Pyre-
nees of his hairbreadth escapes on the
Ganges is going to get hurt in as
many places as | can hit him.
There ought to be n law provid-
ing pains and penalties for those who
go to some foreign country and then
come home and bore their friends tell
ing about the things they saw and
heard
Long ago. when people went across
the sea In sailing ships and had hand
to-hand conflicts with pirates and sea
lions and whales and other monsters
OF the deep, II was something OF n dis
tinction to have been abroad. and a
man who had made the journey could
not be blamed II he spent the rest Of
his life telling about IT, In fact, ! can
easily imagine. that people urged him
to repeat his tale over and over again
But times have changed TO such an
extent that the distinguished man OF
the present day Is the one who has
never been abroad.
II am such celebrity. | have never
pushed myself over the Alps, never
want to see the Alps. As compared
with our own Rocky Mountains they
are cheap, made-in-Germany affairs
and | couldn't look at them without
thinking Of the bargain counter In
Simpsons department store. | be-
lieve in patronizing home Industries
II man il suffering to see mountains
let him go to Colorado, where he'll
find the real goods, with the letters
u. s. blown In the glass.
"A man crosses some one-horss
ocean or other and when he comes
home he tries to leave the impression
that nature got up a special program
for his benefit. Everything that eyei
happened at sea was featured for hii
entertainment. He saw waterspout,
and sea serpents and icebergs.
know old captains who have been fol
lowing the sea for hundred year
or more, and they never saw half tn
marvels that one landsman will wit
ness in a trip from Sandy Hook 4
Southampton.
"A couple OF hours ago my next
door neighbor called and talked for
while. lie had been driving over tn,
country with team OF horses, and h
kept cases on the crops as he Wen
along. lie was fairly loaded to tn
hatbrim with useful information con
corning the condition Of the whea
and corn crops. He brought samples
OF corn and wheat that he pulled NJ
in the fields. never listened to
more interesting or instructive dis
course than his, and | hated to Sc
him 60 Now, that mans travelling
was worth while. and wherever h
goes he'll find an attentive audience
Contrast his story with the yarn tina
you are suffering to spring.
lyon want TO tell me how you Wis
tied the Quirinal and cavorted alonI
the Appian Way, and carved you
name on one Of the stones In tn
Coliseum. II I let You tell you