The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-31

Conservation Of naturs! resources and
whether the District Of Columbia should
annex Hyattsyille and other outlying
empires, and other equally stirring ques-
lions of international Importance will be
finally settled tonight at the annual
Fools Session Of the Saengerbund, which
will be presided over by Prince Carnival
XVII and a choice selection OF other
fools"
This is an annual event OF the Saenger-
bund, which organization claims the ex-
elusive privilege Of publicly proclaiming
themselves fools" at least for one day
IN the year. They are animated by the
principle that only fools and children tell
the truth. and that there will be some
painful truths at this evenings session is
evident. II is asserted by the Saenger-
bunders' that there is an absolute neces-
sity for this sort OF a safety valve.
North Pole Discovery.
A varied and interesting programme,
touching on all unsettled questions Of
national and international Importance,
and including speakers Of world renown.
has been arranged. First and foremost
will be the question OF who discovered
I the north pole With that point in view,
and in order 20 illustrate the subject
more clearly. a pole of ice and snow has
| been erected in the hall, from the top OF
which all fool speakers will deliver
their anathemas and hurl their shafts Of
/ Zoo" wit, satire. and nonsense. The hall
| has been decorated with steamers Of red,
| green, yellow. and white. the COlors Of
/ the King OF Fools. Carnival XVII
| An emissary Of Carrie Nation viii make
an address on the theme What made
/ Milwaukee famous?"
/ Count Komoffski, special Ambassador of
4 the Car Of Russia. viii deliver a lecture
on japanese friendship and VII also
say few words on the advisability OF
/ holding the next aviation meet al St.
/ Petersburg, which, he explains, is the
! home Of the Little Father" Of which a
fine birdseye view may be had from bal
looms and other flying machines. dyRa-
mite excluded.
microscopes for Brains.
DIT. Johnesque. Of the University OF the
/ Northeast Of Bulgaria, will operate with
his newly discovered anaesthetic, stovaine
on those suffering from ossifcation OF the
brain and petrifcation Of the conscience.
/ Those operated upon VIII be permitted. un-
der the prevailing rules of the game, 20
examine their own brains and con-
sciences. Powerful microscopes will be
furnished.
Baron Fritz Won Diukelheimer, chum
and dutzfreund of Kaiser Wilhelm, ar
rived late last night. and has taken quar-
tiers at Gerstenberg's. He IS the bearer
Of a message Of good Will and friendship
Of the German Emperor which viii be
read In hochdeutsch dialect. interspersed
with Berliner Gassenhauer.
Baron Won DinkeIheiner will read q pa.
per on the Authorship OF the poem. Ne
unit Gott,'" and will enter into a learned
dispute with all corners on the question
whether Roosevelt IS more popular il
Germany than in America, and why IL,
German Emperor IS as much Of an Amer
lean as Roosevelt is German.
Likes Herring and Cheese.
a learned argument is in store for thos,
who are interested in the high price Of
food stuffs. Albert Lepper. president Of
the Saengerbund, and an expert on her
rings and cottage cheese, will asser
himself IN favor Of the two delicatessen:
as q substitute for meat and butter. II,
is prepared 10 shoE that they require II
cook. no stove. no coal, no wood, nC
nothing in their preparation, but may b,
taken with a glass Of beer for breakfast
lunch and supper.
John D. Rockefeller will have one Of
his attorneys at the fest, who, it IS M
mored, will demonstrate that coal oil, f
taken In fair quantities. may take The
place Of beer as an illuminant at German
saengerfests. This may cause trouble
, and an extra platoon Of police officers
members Of the a. o. H, will bt pres
ent TO protect Mr.. Rochefeller's agent
from harm on the part Of the German:
who will become angered-
Another question of universal Interest
which will be brought up for discussion
is why Sam Gompers should go TO jail
II so. why so. and vice versa" One Of
the Uneal descendants Of Herr johann
Most Will mount the rostrum TO preside
over this seething proposition.
Protection by Police.
Members Of the American Federation O.
Labor will be requested to leave the hal
during the discussion Of this subject. anC
the squad of policemen will form a hol
. low square around the speaker.
There are numerous other subjects OF
the programme, and a large number O
Congressman, headed by Speaker Cannon
have promised TO enliven the affair Will
songs and recitations. The committee IL
charge consists Of Albert Lepper, Charles
H. Bauman. r. Brauner, ?. F. Brand
stedt, Fred Carl, Herbert Levy. G. Pauls
R. Pluym, H. Rothschild, and II. Scheuer
} mann The fools bailiffs are J. r
Adams and H. G. Minister. Hofpellmeis
ter Donch's fools orchestra viii discours
foolish music.
The Arion Gesangverein has complete,
arrangements for the finest masquerad
ball in the history of that organization
which is TO be held at the Nationa
Rifles armory tonight. Valuable prize
will be distributed to the best groups o
masks, fancy masks, original, juvenile