Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1910-03-10
Engaged to Three
Copyright. 1909 by Associated Literary Press)
By DONALD ALLEN


month OF 40 years hence. He simply
kissed her and said "all right" and
went out and pursued his way. and
she did not see him again for a fort
night.
1t is to be supposed that a man en-
gagged to three widows at ono would
have had some solemn moments, but
such was not the east with Enos Jack
son. He went right on being happy
and trusting to the luck of a sewing
machine agent. For six months he
kept those widows guessing. Three
widows within five miles of each other,
and yet more of them heard he was
engaged to the other!
Nemesis, may be slow, but she is
sure. So are some widows. 1t was
the center widow. Mrs. Smithson, who
first got a mint of what was going on.
She lay low for Pap. On his next
call she spiked him right to the floor.
This was in the forenoon, and she in
formed him that he must appear with
a minister by five in the afternoon or
the engagement would be off and a
breach-of-promise suit be on. Enos
was rather glad to hear her say so. 1t
seemed to settle things. He promised
to be back on time, and when the hour
arrived the widow was dressed for the
occasion. No Pap and no preacher.
She waited one hour and then re-
moved her wedding dress and loaded
an old shotgun used to mena hen
hawks. Next day she would GO on a
quiet hunt for the man with the
whiskers.
The widow was saved the trouble.
Soon after daylight Enos showed up.
He had been to a village seven miles
away to get hair and whiskers colored
a jet black. The change was tremen-
dous. 1t was like painting a straw
stack with lampblack. The venerable
whiskers glinted green. blue and black
in the morning sun.
"Sit down." commanded the widow,
after looking him over.
He sat, and she went to the wash
house, filled a tub of water, handed
down a gallon of soft soap, and. re-
turning to Enos, she took him by the
ear and led him out and said:
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES!
1t was ten o'clock in the forenoon
before the last of the dye had disap-
peared. When Enos announced the
glad news, he was taken by the ear
and led to the smokehouse and pushed
in and the door locked on him.
What are you going to do?" he
called through the door.
Keep you safe until | get back!"
was the reply.
Then the widow drove three miles
and got a preacher and picked up two
witnesses on her way back. and Pap
was brought from the smokehouse and
stood up to become a married man.
To the surprise of the widow he didn't
funk. On the contrary, he appeared
in the best of spirits and announced
that it was a load off his mind. An
hour after the preacher had gone and
the happy couple had the house to
themselves a whiri of dust came up
the road and a buggy stopped at the
gate. Then the door was opened to
the Widow Turner. Her jaw was set.
The news OF the contemplated mar
riage had reached her. She stood be-
fore the parental Pap with vener-
able whiskers, her arms akimbo, and
she was about to open on him when
the bride came forward to say:
mo use-you are too late. You may
take the spring calf out in the yard,
if you want damages, but you'll get no
more. You must be a queer sort of
widow to les a man slip through your
hands in this way"
The widow was yet In sight down
the road when another dust cloud
came from the opposite direction, and
another widow appeared. 1t was the
Widow Shevlin. She had begun to
say things when the bride interrupted
with:
Hes mine, and talk won't help
things. You had more chances than |
did, and if you didn't take advantage
of them it's not my fault. | suppose
you want damages, and you can pick
out six of my Leghorn hens to take
back with you"
And when the second widow and the
squeaking hens had disappeared up
the road old Pap rubbed his hands
together anc smiled on his bride and
said:
You are really a wonderful woman
wonderful. It's SO easy that | wish
I'd been engaged to two more!"