davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03
A Mistaken Minister.

Pittsburg minister of the Gospel.
shamed. saddened, and rendered incapa-
bic Of considering the problem Of mar
rage and giving in marriage dispassiou-
ately and righteously perhaps, has given
notice that henceforth he Will unite no
couple in the holy bonds of wedlock IN
less the man be able 10 show that he has
a regular income of not less than Se.100
per annum. This misguided mans theory
is that it is impossible for two TO live
comfortably and satisfactorily these days
on less than that sum, and that couples
who attempt 1t merely become candidates
either for the poorhouse or the divorce
courts.
This good mans reasoning is not So far
wrong as are his facts. Thousands of
young couples are married on less than
5000 a year. and live happily ever after
ward, and in ever SO many places other
than story books. too. In fact. as a
starter. 5000 is well above the average:
although after the children come. and
questions Of their education. and so forth,
arise, It may be little enough. The latter
point however. is not properly a part of
the immediate problem. The Isolated fact
we must recognize is that great many
level-headed, sensible and entirely praise
worthy persons can and do begin married
life on good deal less than 5000 per
annum, and get away with it," more
over, TO express 1t breezIly but not flip
PANTY.
We believe this Plttsburg pastor is
wrong again when he suggests that en-
forced economy and modest living-eveu
approximate poverty indeed-lead neces-
sarily TO the divorce courts. The truth
Of that lies very much in the other direc-
ton. we suspect. The rich and money
mad seek the divorce courts much more
enthusiastically and readily than do the
poor or moderately circumStanced. The
obligation of mutual sacrifice and help
fulness draws closer and closer together
the man and wife of small income; idle
ness. ennm. safety, and the ever-restIess
desire for something new, some change
these are the things that widen the breach
between the man and wife who reckon
their incomes in hundreds of thousands
rather than in mere hundreds.
II would be interesting to watch the
careers Of two couples started in life
with s2,o00 per annum and S2,OO0000 per
annum, respectively. 1t would be instruc-
tive to know. after. say. twenty years
which Of the two had really lived theg
lives the more, the better. the happier
We should not be afraid to wager fair
sum that the couple with the meager IN
come would gather more roses. more sun.
shine, and more OF genuine content as
they journeyed along-and If either landed
IN the divorce court. it probably would
be the 100000 couple
our Pittsburg friend should cheer Up
He has seen much of injustice and wrcnl
around him. but he need not, therefore
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03
TO-DAY TO-DAY IN HISTORY
LLAEL-LLI II-ILII-L1-
The Great Protector 8.

To-day IS the birthday OF Oliver Crom-
well. nicknamed The Protector" one
of the greatest men. if not the greatest
that England ever produced. Years do
not lessen but strengthen this opinion
Lord Macaulay says: 1T has often been
affirmed but apparently with little rea-
son. that Cromwell died at a time fortu-
nate for his renoWn. and that, II his life
had been prolonged, Il would probably
have closed amidst disgrace and disaster.
II il certain that Cromwell was 10 the
last honored by his soldiers. oil yed by
the whole population Of the Brit Isles,
and dreaded by all foreign powers, and
that he was laid among the ancient
sovereigns Of England with funeral pomp,
such as London had never before seen
Cromwell had faults. but they were so
overshadowed by his virtues that time
has made them appear Insignificant in
summing up the great genius of the man.
Long ago his own prophetic hope began
TO attain fulfllment-"I know God has
been above all III reports, and will IN His
own time vindicate me-
One Of the chief characteristics OF
Cromwell was that he wanted TO he
nothing but just himself. Walpole is re-
sponsible for the story of Cromwell and
/ Lely. the portrait painter. The Protector
was sitting for his portrait, and for fear
the artist might try to fatter him in the
| likeness. he remarked: My Lely. l de-
/ sire you would use all your skill TO paint
my picture truly Ike me. and not flatter
me at all; but remark all these rough
/ nesses, pimples, warts. and everything,
otherwise I will not pay a farthins for II.
Thmloe said Of him: A larger soul.
! I think. hath seldom dwelt in a house
of clay than his was"
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03
They Lack Wisdom.

fitting at windmuls is an old sport.
But not even Don Quixote had the te-
merity to write Of an instance equal TO
that which comes from Italian Somah-
land. \ dispatch from Mogadiscio, on
the eastern coast of Africa, tells of a
band Of natives attacking an Italian
naval cutter which mounted TWO guns.
The mission Of the armed vessel was
to prevent gun-runnlng along the coast,
and the natives took exception 10 the
conduct Of the government IN StonriDE
thus form of smuggling. They decided
TO put the vessel out Of commission, so
saIleo forth in their war canoes. hop
ing TO hoard the Italian war vessel and
capture or sink it.
When the officers saw the menacing
attitude Of the deIuded savages they had
pity in their hearts, but had grape and
shrapneI in the cannon. only one guess
need be hazarded as TO the result But
the savages came on with desperation.
and before the last canoe was under
water, they had wounded nine men on
the Italian ship. There were few OF the
! attacking party wounded, as they had
all persisted by the time the unequal fight
was at an end.
| Analogies are plentiful. but why refer
10 them? We know that PInchot de-
llberately walked the plank: that the
insurgents" have hope OF victory: that
the Democrats believe where there is a
little life there Is hope; that the ultimate
consumer expects TO win out, and that
Washington expects TO win the baseball
/ pennant.
Alas. for human fraiIty! The lesson
| taught by this little tale will be wasted.
/ Each Of Us must learn by experience,
and the savaees Of East Africa show no
more faulty than DO many Of the men
! and women who belong 10 the most en-
/ Ightened races and peoples of the earth.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03
unr II Hammered.

You've heard that ancient story:
The tortoise ran a race
And grabbed a lot of glory,
a most unusual case.
The maddest hare or halter
Has evidently guessed
That details OF the matter
Were partially suppressed,
The old yarn is misleading.
Here's how the trick was done;
The hare was plnched for speeding
And so the tortoise won.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

A good idea OF the characte- Of the
man IS 10 be found in several Instances
which viii he related: When he was
filling his companies with men, he select
ed the officers with the same care as the
soldiers: If you choose Cody. honest
men TO be captains Of horse" lie said.
honest men Will follow them" And
again: Il had rather have plain rustic
coated captain that knows what he nights
for and loves what he knows. than what
you call a gentleman and nothing else"
A month after the famous battle Of
Naseby, in which he gained a signal
victory. he wrote: When I saw the
enemy draw up and march I'm gallant
order toward US, and we a company of
poor ignorant men TO seek how 10 order
our battle I could not. riding alone about
my business. but smile out 10 God, in
/ praises, In assurance Of victory. because
God would by things that are not bring
| to nought things that are"
In summing up his character. a biog-
rapher has written the following: There
/ IS no severer test of a mans character
/ than the use he makes Of absolute power.
Tried by this test Cromwell bears COM
parison favOrabiy with any of the great
! est names in history. Elevated into SUI
pTemacy, regal save only I'm name. he
still preserved the plain simplicity Of his
former life. Armed with more than regal
/ power. he limited himself within the strict
bonds Of necessity. Personally he cared
/ little for the outward shows of royalty,
/ but he stinted no pomp or ceremony sc
/ far as it seemed TO involve the nations
dignity. IF there was a man in England
who eXcelled in any faculty or science
the Protector would find him out. and re-
ward him according to his merit"
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03
SnNcd His Life.

From the birmingham England Post.
A story is told Of an Englishman who
had occasion for a doctor while staying
in Pekin.
Sing Loo, gIeatest doctor" said his
servant: The savee my lifee once
Really queried the Englishman.
"Yes; me tellible awful was the re-
ply. "me callee in another doctor. lie
givee me medicine; me velly. velly bad.
Ne callee in another doctor. He come
and give me more medicine. make me
veIly. veUy bladder Me callee in Sing
Loo. He no come. He Sayee my life
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03
COMMUNICATED VIZ. Knox.

From the Boston Transcript
Secretary Of state Knox says that the greatest
compliment President Roosevelt ever paid 20 him
came at t1e clp=e Of a Cabinet meeting one DAY
when the President before an his associates turned
10 the then senator from Pennsylvania. saving.
This is tie man who never brings people here %
shake hands with me-
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

become a pessimist. In endeavoring to get
his bearings. he has merely succeeded In
getting his cart before his horse-neither
an uncommon nor an essentially unwor-
thy proceeding. but one that ought TO be
remedied nevertheless. as soon as dis
covered
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

Somebody now comes forward and
guesses Mr.. Roosevelt Will be the Demo-
cratic candidate for the Presidency next
time" In order to finish up this guess
ing contest. we guess he viii be King Of
the Wampums about that date and viii
not have time TO bother with another Job.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03
The Land of Bohemia.

From the Portland Ore-ouian-
Any person who desires TO obtain a
correct idea Of Bohemia without visit
ing its precincts may begin. by reading
the first chapters Of les NIiserables
and follow them UP with Ibsen'
Ghosts" The chances are that he Will
not care 70 migrate TO the enchanted
realm when he knows exactly what il is
like
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

Parties given TO remarking "St. Hell
ena' every time that return from Eliza
movement is mentioned should remember
that Bwana Tumbo's great specially is
smashing precedents and upsetting ira
ditions
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

Congressional Investigations are usu-
ally very expensive says the Los An
geles Express. Why. Of course. The milk
In the cocoaHut has increased In price
along with everything else, in all proba-
bllity
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

''Ballinger would have 10 leave his hat
on the door mat to get into the Pinchot
social circle" saws the Charleston News
and Courier. with biting sarcasm. Heaven
help US. If this thing is to develop into a
.'suClal' row.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

Looking backward, we find that we have
religiously kept one New Years resolu-
ton thus far, anyway We have not
once referred since January / 20 Mr..
Luther Burbank as Americas most noto-
riOus CRATER"
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

A New Jersey mother of twelve chill
dren. superstitious of thirteen. was i'm
mensey relieved 20 give birth 70 twins
recently. Now. in all probability. her
husband is rankly superstitious of thir-
teen
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03
Hard on the Boys.

From the Chicago News.
The Bull Pup-IIow did you lose your
tail. old man?
The Yellow Cur-In a trolley accident
The Bull Pup-Do you miss il much?
The Yellow Cur-Not as much as the
boys do who used 10 tie tin cans to Il.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

Mr. Vardaman complains that al! OF
the predatory trusts" are fighting his
election to the Senate. perhaps they do
not understand that Mr. Vardaman wears
his hair a Ia Ebert Hubbard, and all that
sort Of thing
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03
Tic Eridcnce Lacking.

From the Chicago News.
stand up. McNutty." said the police
magistrate. Are you guilty or not
guilty.
Faith. an it's mesef as cant tell thot
till OF hear tn violence" replied Nc
Nutty
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03
Near Inte!Iigence.

From Brooklyn Life
Septimus-lIow is your little girl. Mrs.
Smith?
Mrs. smIth-My little boy is quite well.
thank you.
Septmus-Oh, It's a boy! knew It was
one or the other
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

'It begins to look ike Pinchot and
CLAWS for 1912, says the Atlanta Jour
nal. Presumably, the Journal speaks
from a Democratic standpoint; where
fore. we conclude that it is desperately
seeking to start something different.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

If Dr. Wiley is not careful he may
ALLEVIATE a large section of the colored
vote. His suggestion. Watch the hens.
will be considered an insult by some and
an injury by others.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
CHEAP AT THE PRICE.

Egg shampoo?" inquired the barber
Nope"
Egg on the mustache? Gives you the
appearance Of having had eggs for break
fast Only 30 cents
Go ahead
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

The ground hog came out yesterday
and saw his shadow, all right. This IN
formation Is promulgated for the bene-
Mt Of the naughty coal barons, who do
not need IL.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

"A lot Of people who have never been
TO Paris are writing beautiful things
about that place just now" says a con-
temporary. AS much might be said OF
heaven, however.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03
DiScOncerting.

Now, girl, do not falter in the fray
"Iu try not 10, auntie,' promised the
young suffragette. But what should a
girl do when a policeman chucks her
under the chn2'
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

A California judge has ruled that "a
mule IS a deadly weapon" In order 10
reverse this ruling, the court above nee
essarlly will also have TO reverse his
honor's point OF view.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

Congressman Ames. of Massachusetts.
who is after Senator Lodges seat, has
bought an aeroplane." says the Pittsburg
Dispatch. Going up, Mr.. Ames?
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03
4 Million What.

From the Boston Transcript.
She-That's Mr. Osborne over there.
He married a million.
He-You don't say, Well, that beats
Solomon 10 a fragile.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03
UNCLE JOE.

Hush.
I have a secret.
I'm going 90 reveal,
It may harrow up your feelings
Ard make Your blood CONCEAL!
I learn IL by inferring
FrJm the papers that read.
It's ghculish and blood stirring,
50 I beg YOU 20 give heed.
Hush,
I'm going to tell you
Who stole Charley Rns-:
You remember about Charley
And you've read about his loss:
! know the man who took him.
Though ] couldn't prU,e it 50;
But I'm satisfied from reading
That his name was Uncle Joe.
Hush,
It's a surpriseT
And the fact has long been hid:
know who was adviser
To lamcnttd Captain Kidd:
I know who kcclhaul,d victims
And relieved them Of their dough;
The UacCTs have convinced me
That hls name vas Uncle Joe.
Hush
There's someone stirring
And he isn't vcrg far.
His wluskcrs are So vicious
And he smokes big cigar;
Oh. scampeF little children.
or he swallow you-oh. Oh,
l kn0w-I'Te read the pap.rs-
That his usme IS Uncle joe.
~. W. Foley, in the Nes York Times
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03
often the Way.

lie claims there are too many
courtesy colonels'
When did that begin TO bother him?'
since he got on the governors staff. -
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

The city papers generally. it will be
observed. have quit 'Joshing" the rural
editors who take eggs, butter. chickens.
and sweet potatoes on subscription ac-
counts
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

The American people are good natured,
but Uncle Sam can hardly expect them
to use more souvenir postal cards. even to
help make up a postal deficit.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03
An Anesthetic Suggested.

From the Dallas News.
4 Michigan psychologist SAYS mems brains become
larger when aslceU In behalf q the free rural
mail delivery system. VIII some kind doctor please
administer an anesthctic 10 the Postmaster Geueralg
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

"A dollar to-day buys more than ii is
worth" says a New York college pro-
fessor. evidently strenuously surprised TO
find that dollar buys anything AT all
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

Apparently, nobody really is response
bic for the high cost OF meat Like
"Topsy,'' it did not grow up under any
body's chaperonage; it was yanked up.
regardless.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03
nr WILEY AraIn-

From the Jackson Miss News
IT. Wiley. The food expert. SAYS II people ali
stain from eating meat il vii change the d.srosi-
ton q the entire nation within four OF five million
years Amt it AWFUL Mabel?
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03
When the Ghnst Walks.

From the Kansas City Times
Already the fear Of the people is supplanting the
fear Of the Speaker Of the House II is much better
to be Congressman out Of favor Of the ruling
power Of the House than TO 10 no Congressman al
an.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03
OF Course.

In olden times a great deal Of court
ing was carried on through love philters."
well. a philtered love ought TO be
pure"
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03
Trust Pedigree.

From the Detroit News
Havemeyer declared that the tariff was the mother
n trusts. Senator Aldrch has been charged with
the paternity Of the tariff. What do you expect Of
such lueage'
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03
A PopuInr Class.

What are your prospects for finish
ing ap YOUR college year. honOTably2'
Fine, dad, fine. ! expect by spring to
be hitting in the 800 class
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

and that is a pretty risky assertion
for the chairman of the Senate Committee
on Woman Suffrage TO make nowadays.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

From the New York Evening Post
From Mr. CLAWS testimony. it worild appear that
Tire Alaskan eoal seams stretch into the pockets n
pretty nearly every prominent citizen on the Pacific
Coas-.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

4 Cincinnati man has located a garage
between a hospital and an undertaking
establishment sort Of community of
interests, as ii were.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

What is hel?" is being exclusively
discussed by correspondents in the New
York sun. Reading and editing that sort
OF stuff must be.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

Senator Alexander Stephens Clay. Of
Georgia, has the courage Of his convic-
tons. lie says he is much better physi-
cally than he has been for a long time;
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

The Seine is having its ups and downs,
which is more than may be said Of our
protective tariff OF late years.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

I'VE pause for a reply cditorialIy
headlines thu Louisville Courier Journal
That looks ominously like war.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03
NOT So Realistic.

From the Roston Transcript
Isn't Chambers q realistic noye.ist"'
''No: his society characters say bright
things"
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03
scnntnr Racnn an Anthnritr-

From the Wheeling Intelligence.
Taking his name into CONSIDERATION the remarks
Of Senator Bacon on the high cost Of living should
be authoritative
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

Before the Ballinger-Pinchot investlga-
ton IS ended. conservation Of patience
will be a vital issue. we suspect
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

The way to be sure you are not eating
cold storage eggs is 20 eat French-fried
potatoes.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

A few more comets putting in" and
some worthy frenzed financier probably
will syndicate them.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03
III. Little Joke,

How would you Ike TO take part in
cantata?"
I'D jump at the chants"
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03


Salisbury S3 this occurred
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03
CHAT OF THE FORUM.
Uncle Jne,S Stamina.

From the Columbia State
We sometimes usrsc, that joseph Cannon can
stand more punishment than he deserves.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

Rukoro Watanabe. engineer % the i'm
periaI department OF home affairs, Tokyo,
Japan, who Is on his return TO his coun-
try after an extended tour Of Europe, is
at the shoreham. The japanese official
said he was interested In waterworks and
similar public and municipal departments
and wherever opportunity offered and
there was no trouble or interference, he
took photographs OF watsrfr0nts and
waterwoTks.
Japan is greatly indebted 10 America,
he said. for opening up our country 20
civilization. It was Admiral Perry who
came TO us and showed us the way 10
light and progress. The American people.
for this reason alone. are uppermost IN
the esteem and affection Of the japanese,
There is no thought OF ever going to war
with America. We are sorry that most
Of the japanese who come 70 America are
of the lower class. they create false
impression Of our country. They should
not be regarded as true representatives OF
Japan People Of that class are liable 70
cause trouble, and they are not restricted
to my country. I believe they are found
everywhere.
7 spent some time in England The
English people are popular with US be-
ing our allies The English alliance is
popular in Japan and England, and there
| is no reason why 1t should not continue
indefinitely. We work In harmony, know
ing exactly our aims and purposes.
Germany" added Mr.. Watanabe. in
German 'is very progressive nation.
Germany. from A business standpoint. is
on friendly footing with Japan. We
must recognize her superiority IN many
/ respects. but we can't forget that the
/ German Emperor is the author of the
yellow peril scare. Japan will never for
get that. The Japanese people know
/ .hat the DeutsChe Kaiser is responsible
/ Tor the yellow peril alarm, and his name
/ has gone down in history As the one man.
who has held up our people to the world
as a dangerous people. We are not
peril Japan merely wanted to free her
self from foreign imposition that's all
Japan has no political ambitions in China,
the Philippines. Hawaii. Manchuria, or
any other place. We want 10 be per-
m;tted TO follow the paths OF peaceful
nations. and on this we will insist"
The Washington herald., 1910-02-03

Representative 'Hampie" Moore took a
few hours of from the cold storage in
vestigation and rested I'm the House. Il
'Hampie' isn't careful, he VIII have To
be put IN cold storage or in a dollhouse
himself Between inland waterways and
cold storage. the hustling Pennsylvania
is getting the appearance Of an anti
meat crusader.
The news=record. [volume] (Enterprise, Wallowa County, Oregon) 1907-1910, 1910-06-29

Monday. on his way to Joseph. In
an interview Senator oliver express
ed the firm conviction that within
ten years Wallowa county will be
raising as much wheat as the famous
"Palouse" district in Washington,
if not more.
This expression from one well ac-
quainted with the potential quail
ties of Wallowa county, coming on
she heels of the persistent advocacy
of this paper, makes US feel good"
1t goes to show the strong probable
lty that the wheat production OF
Wallowa county will within a brief
term of years prove a vast store
house of wealth for this county.
Wherever the wheat raiser has
stopped on the Wallowa county hills,
ne has not only made the hills look
ike paradise, but he has gotten
rich enough to beindependent.
The news=record. [volume] (Enterprise, Wallowa County, Oregon) 1907-1910, 1910-06-29
-ANDsEEkERs FROM
WASHINGTON ARE HERE

{, Landseekers continue to pour in
20 Enterprise and from here to so
,ut into various parts of the coun-
~. with a view to securing ranches.
Sheriff Crowley of Klickitat coun-
ty, Wash, accompanied by two men,
one of them William Wright, spent
Friday riding over the Slope coun-
sry and the Prairie Creek district.
Saturday the three left for Lostine,
where they viii look over the valley
lands, and may possibly continue a
further search through the county.
Wallowa county lands are attract
ing wide attention among those who
seek good lands for o comparatively
small outlay of money per acre.
Within few years no Wallowa
county lands will remain. The set
tier desiring to secure good land at
a minimum price per acre. is COM
pened to do so at once-not in a
few years from now. Any climate.
almost, can be found in the county.
owing to the varying attitudes of the
county. This summer should witness
with proper advertising, a constant
influx of settlers. especially from the
East, who desiie home locations.