Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-05-06
For An Idle Moment

in Scotland the other day Of her aunt. a
decent body who had reached the shady
| side of life without having committed
matrimOny.
Deed, lassie," frankly replied the old
| lady, tive had but three thOchts ABBOTT il
a my days, an the last is like to be the
| Largest. First, then, when was young
| like yourself, thOcht, 'Wha'H [ TAX !?
Then, as time began to wear by, [ thocht
w hall [ get| An after | got my leg
| broken VII that whumel cot O. Saunders
McDrunthie's cart my thochts syne have
been, 'Wha'll TAX me?'"
o.
| At one of the leading military schools
cadet lieutenant, rigid with conscious
authority and correct in all insignia of
his rank, approached very raw recruit
with the question:
Have you ever drilled before?"
"NO," answered the recruit. And, in
nOcently, and with the evident desire to
be polite and carry on the conversation
added, "Haye you?"
| After the victims ear was gone. his
| face battered beyond recognition, two
teeth loose and his nose disjointei, the
thugs desisted.
How much do I owe you?" he asked
between grOans.
lowe us" they cried. what for?"
The victim smiled.
"Beg pardon," he said family. "My
mind must have been wandering. |
thought it was hotel barber giving me
a face massage"
A distinguished member Of the Ma
tiOnal Geographic society, on his way
downtown one day when the polar con.
| troversy was at it's height, passed some
little cOlored boys who were playing
with two very pretty kittens. Pausing
| he asked the leader Of the party if he
had named the kittens.
ooh, yes" was his reply, 81 calls 'en
| TaWm and Jerry"
why not call them Cook and Peary?'
AprOp0s Of j. PiermOnJ MOrgan's i'm
mense resources, as shown in his recent
proffer of $1OO,O00,OO0 wherewith t.
build more New York subways, a broker
said:
"Mr. Morgan's wealth causes him tC
look at money in large way. Once, al
the Metropolitan club in Fifth avenue, ]
told him Of the death of mutual friend
How much did he leaye?' Mr.. Nor
gan asked.
"a matter of five or six millions,
believe said [.
"'How deceptive circumstances some.
times are he said. L always supposed
him quite comfortably Off
at was a TGJractiOn without value. II
recalls the Nola Chucky scandal.
| Deacon Washington, in the heat of a
revival, shouted from the pulpit Of the
Nola Chucky chapel:
81 see befo' me ten chicken thieves
includin' that thar Calhoun Clay
calhoun Clay at once rose and left
the church. He was very angry. He
brought powerful influence to bear, and
the deacon promised to apologize.
$50 at the following revival, the old
man said:
81 desire to retract my last nights
remarks, namely see befO' me ten
chicken thieves, incluuin' Calhoun Clay
and sisters, was-I see befo' me nine
chicken thieves, not includin' Calhoun
Clay"
! Patrick GrOgan, an old man, has lived
in the vicinity of ROxbury Crossing fOI
years, and during the long years Of his
stay he has made daily visits to nearby
saloon, never taking more than two
drinks, always going home to his wife a
sober man.
He was making one of the regular
| trips one day last week and was about to
open the door to the barroom when an
elderly man, who proved to be minis
ter, stopped him and said:
"My dear man, don't you know that
every time you go into these hell holes
the devil goes with your"
Mr.. Grogan looked up at the sweet
face of the good man and said:
SWELL, if ne goes in with me he pays
| for his own drinks"
Passengers on New York street cal
were treated to some choice examples OF
GermanAmerican English when stout
| gentleman with robust voice started