University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1910-12-08
SCOTT To
READ POEM AT STUNT
Hood s Love and Lunacv'
Will be Acted in Panto-
mime by Faculty.
PROFESSOR HOFFMAN HERO
Trials of Lorenzo and Ellen,
His Sweetheart, Are Most
Pathetic.

John R. Scott, former professor of
elocution in the University Of Mis-
souri,, has consented to read the poem
for the faculty stunt. Thomas Hoods
Love and Lunacy" will be rendered
in pantomime. The stunt will be for
the benefit of the Young Women's
Christian Association.
Lorenzo. the character to be taken
by Prof. B. F. Hoffman, is young
astrologer who is in love with fair
maiden of limited education. He has
very eXcitable temperament, but
then Hood says people who are in
love are apt, when provoked, to act
Ike splitting humpbacked cats or
snarling towsers." Seated at the break
fast table, Lorenzo gets letter from
mis- lady love in which she closes with
the expression, The moon is full
love, and think of thee" A beau
tiful expression no doubt. but when
Lorenzo reads it his whole attitude
changes.
Trials of Lorenzo Begin.
He crushes the letter in his hand,
then not satisfied with that, he spreads
it out again and tears it up.
she wrote the same to me-" he
says. ION the first of the month, on
the twelfth, and now again on the
twenty-second."
No other explanation will suit him
but that she ceased to love him three
weeks ago, and has not had time to
notice the moon since. He leaves his
breakfast untouched. to go to waste.
breaks bowl of goldfish to ease his
troubled feelings, then feeling .suffi-
GENTLY calm, sits down and writes thu
fair Ellen a letter. This posted, his
only thought is to escape from hate
fully familiar surroundings.
Miss Walker to Be Ellen
Ellen. who will be impersonated by
Miss Mary Shore Walker, is intro
duced to the reader skipping. two
steps at a time, down the stairs to
meet the postman with that bitter let
ter which is to cause her so much
heartache She is sweet simple
girl, to whom the science of long di-
vision is a dreadful mystery. Labor
iously she wades through the lab
yrinth of long meaningless words, but
Lnds enough words to understand the
general drift of Lorenzos cruel mean
ing. When she reads how he intends
to give her up, and go to some far
distant savage land, where he will
probably be burned to death by the
scorching sun, eaten by cannibals or
suffer equally unpleasant things, FL
len can bear no more, and falls faint
ing to the ground.
The noise of the fall brings her
mother from the nearby room, her
father from his store next door, the
cook from the kitchen, and the char
woman from some other part of the
house. By the time they have restored
her to consciousness, her mother has
discovered the guilty letter, and is
struggling with its meaning. Loren
EOS reference to Professor Airs and
Pond mean nothing to her but that
the faithless man objects to the area
OF her child, and thinks she should
be thrown into the pond like an unde-
sired kitten. The suggestion that she
get tail. of course for her objection
able full moon. thereby making of it
a comet, shocks the mother beyond
measure.
Now the Irate Father
These things she tells Ellen's ia
ther with Illuminating comments of
her own. He flies into violent pas
sion doubles up his fists and wishes
ne had only been present when the
letter was written. Whereupon he
and the servants are unceremoniously
assisted from the room by the irate
mother, with the remark that fathers
can't be mothers" and females are
females" Then she and Ellen talk
it over. She never did like Lorenzo.
she protests. and always felt like
watching her spoons when he was
around. Spoons reminds Ellen of
moons. and she nearly has another fit.
and Prof. J. S. Ankeney the father
Meanwhile. Lorenzo has collected