Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-04-08
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nv" uo you Keep your razor
SHARPE" Easy enough hide it
where my wife can't find it."-CIeve-
land Plain Dealer.
How Titles clothes hang about
her! Why, they don't At at all" But
think how much worse she would look
If they did."-Life.
Considerations What long legs
the new waiter has! Host-Yes, | en-
gagged him specially for the diners who
are IN a hurry Meggendorfer Batter
Miss Kldder-S'sh! Carrie has dyed
her hair black Don't tell anybody
Miss Askitt-Is It secret? Miss Kid
der-Yes; she wants to keep It dark.
Boston Globe.
What part Of the railway train do
you regard as the most dangerous
inquired the nervous man. The din
ing car" answered the dyspeptic.-~
Washington Star.
iii be ready in a minute" she said
TO her husband You needn't hurry.
now, he called up some time later.
Il find that | shall have to shave
again. Detroit Free Press.
Il thought you said you told your
wife everything you did" Il do. It's
mighty strange, She hasn't said q
word TO my wife about the $40 YOU
borrowed from me w Washington Star
Patience-They say she got all her
furniture on the instalment plan?
Patrice-She did She has had four
husbands. and she got little furni-
ture with each one Yonkers States
man.
She--Don't you think womans sur
frage would be a fine thing? He-I
know ] could always persuade my wife
to vote as | wanted by telling her l
intended voting the other way Bos-
ton Globe.
why can't that prima donna sing
more than twice week." II don't
know" answered the impresario, "un-
less it's because she tired out her vocal
cords arguing with me about salary"
Washington Star
Maud-So he had the cheek to ask
my age, did he? Well what did you
tell him? Ethel told him / didn't
know positively. but | thought you
were twenty-four on your thirtieth
birthday - Boston Transcript
Now. your conduct during the trial
| may have considerable effect on the
jury" "Ah, quite so, responded the
ultra-Gwell defendant And should
appear interested or just mildly
Kansas City Journal
You say you have quit smoking?"
| Yes, never going TO smoke again"
! Then why don't you throw away
those cigars?" Never, | threw away
a box of good cigars the last time
quit smoking, and 1t taught me a les
SON
The way to run this country" said
| the egotist rs to put thoroughly wise,
| capable, alert, and honest men in con.
! troll of affairs" Yes" answered Miss
| Cayenne, but what are we going TO
| do? There's only one Of you. Wash.
ington Star.
Cholly The deuce, old chap;
cawnt go to the party. | have no col
| lah button Reggie--Go across the
street and buy some deah fellow,
Cholly But caawnt Nobody has my
measurements except my tailah don't.
| cherknow.-Iife.
Mr.. Duhbs with newspaper) -
| 1t tells here my dear, how pro
gressive Now York woman makes her
social calls by telephone Mrs. Dubbs
Progressive Huh She's probably
like me-not decent thing to wear
Boston Transcript.
In a written examination on astron-
omy one Of the questions was, What
happens when there is an eclipse Of
the noon" A student with rather a
good knack OF getting out OF diff
Guilty wrote: "A great many people
come out to look at It,"
What's that party kicking about?'
said one New Yorker. "Oh, mes one
of those guys who are lucky and don't
know it, replied the other He came
here on round-trip ticket from Phil
adelphia and lost the return coupon"
Washington Evening Star
I'm sure" said the interviewer,
"the public would be interested to
know the secret Of your success. -
We'll, young man replied the cap
tain Of industry, the secret Of my
success has been my ability to keep 1t
a secret Sacred Heart Review.
ia hate to be millionaire
Gosh! Why" Well mlllionalres
are always getting letters threatening
them with all sorts OF horrible fates
unless they medIately pay the writ
ers large sums of money" That )
nothing. I get just such letters on
the first of every month. Cleveland
Leader.
why" asked the judge, do you
think your husband Is deadc You
say you haven't heard from him for
more than a year. DO you consider
that reasonable proof that he has
passed out Of existence Yes, your
honor. II he was still alive he'd be