New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-02-07
THE Talk OF THE DAT.

AT the last election IN one Of the Eastern
cities politician of German origin was
elected an alderman. He succeeded in hav-
ing himself appointed chairman OF the Pub
lie Buildings Committee. The morning after
his appointment ne hied him 10 the City
Hall and made his presence known TO the
custodian, with the request TO be shown all
over the building. They promptly proceeded
70 go through the structure from top to bot
tom. Upon entering a storeroonl the visitor
noticed 4 profusion OF bottles scattered
about the floor. 'Yot iss disc asked the al
dcrman. "Oh. that's a liquid preparation We
use for cleaning and polishing brass rails,
etc answered the custodian. a little
later the Germans attention vas attracted
by the presence OF various paper packages,
and after his curiosity had again been
satisfied the pair proceeded TO another floor
As they entered the council chambers the
alderman, quick TO notice the spick and
span appearance OF carpet and rugs, OF
served that they we're very clean. al
ready" Yes: We use the vacuum clean
err" replied the attendant. ''Vacume?
Vacurne?" repeated the German with a
puzzled expression. How do You keep il?
In packages or bottles?"
Norah-Why do you call me your jewel,
officer CIancy-Bekase your eyes sparkle
loike dimonds, your teeth are loike pearls,
and even your voice has an emerald ring
10 it!-Brovning Magazine.
"a few years ago the ski sport was little
known outside of Norway" writes
French correspondent from Chamounix,
but to-day the Norsemen must exert
themselves TO keep pace with the people
sport At the international ski meet which
will take place here there will be repre-
sentatives from many countries. and Nor
way will have what is termed an elite
tean1,' consisting OF army officers and
members of the royal guard, syho have no
fear as 70 their victory
THE FIGUREF
This world contains a lot Of folks
By poor or misdrected jokes
Or iIl-timed seriousness.
But he who brings the DEEPEST doubt
Is that unfaltering one
Who gets z lot of figures out
To prove 1T can't be done
The proudest schemes OF progress fan
And shattered hopes lie thick
When calmly ne proceeds TO call
On his arithmetic.
More hideous than the vandal shout
His voice spOils all our FUN.
When ne brings rows OF figures out
To prove 1T can't be done
Your plans of glory. though they be
Both lofty and immense,
VIII shrtvel Ike q leaf when ne
Says thing OF the expense"
de Disappointment special scout
And Hardluck's favorfte son.
This man who gets his figures out
To prove 1T can't be done.'
Washington Star.
Clifford E. Roe, former assistant states
attorney Of Chicago. is q man OF remark
ably youthful appearance. He tells this
story on himself. ct was invited TO speak
before a gathering in a small city near
Chicago he said. II was told that a COM
mittee would meet me al the station. No
one spoke to me, however, and the crowd
at the platform finally dwindlei 10 TWO
men, SO accosted them Were You ex
pecting to meet some one?' I asked. Yes,
said one or the men, we We're Yes sir.
said the man, we were waiting for Assist
ant States Attorney Roe OF Cbicagn.
Well I said. my name is Roe or -
that so?' said the man. Didn't your fatbar
Gomez
It's lucky for tie world that some OF 10
who had made his pile. '''e man
'WhatS the answer We ousr;a5
clerks their sels-irn rortance Tros sIy a week
atmosphere on IRE" expIaireS "a SCI the
OF the first part.-Chicago News '''' party
The educated chimpanzee k,or
James the Great is at present On
the sensations OF the Vaudeville So.
Europe. \ man who saw him p.rforr, -. a.
Germany writes: The animal a. - III
sorts OF tricks under the direcrio, - a., ar
master and at one time ocnp,Ios 10
stage all alone. and then he becomes -.
most interesting He wears long MI
trousers green peajacket ana = H.
felt nat OF Alpine shape. The monLA,.
na@Res MS 60" and advances 20 the wings
phere NJ receives from an attendant
bicycle, which he mounts ana rtas- q
the stage a. all speeds from, rhe - 9i'iu