The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-01-14
CUPID

atre district. | remember our first
Introduction to finger bowls, but that
is not at all what wish to tell you
about; possibly never shall tell you,
as ! dwell upon the occasion entirely
without JOY. And the waiter, a
stumpy little chap he was. For quite
a while used to address him as
Mister" with an inviting pause, hop.
ing he would supply his name, He
never supplied it, however. and as ]
am of a somewhat determined nature.
persisted in this form of address, un.
I'll on one occasion he said to me
Would you mind. sir, not calling me
'Mister'?"
Not at ALL" replied, as blandly as
! could. what is your name?"
ut is Hezekiah. sir, but most peo'
pie call me Cupid, sir"
For short, J presume"
mo, sir" he replied. 81 believe
there's a god by that name, sir, who
makes work for the parsons"
The evening was rather a rainy
one. and in consequence the dining
room was comparatively empty. The
waiter, therefore, had little to do but
attend us. "You see, sir" he went on,
I'm of very sentimental nature, sir
YES" l replied, with as straight a
face as / could muster, "it seems as
thought I have heard of Cupid" And
from the table l received a remonstra
tive kick from my wife.
1--WE figured in many a matrimon-
ial deal, sir. Maybe you'd like to hear
of the one that gave me my nickname
sir?"
81 should be glad to-" replied. and
the waiter, warmed to his subject by
our receptive attitude. went on: "You
see those little numbered dining
rooms on the balcony above? Well
one night when I was working up
there, in comes an unhappy-looking
couple that quite evidently wants to
be alone, so the head waiter shows
them up to No. 25 No sooner was
they seated, sir, than another couple
gloomier even than the first. comes
in, and we puts them into the next
room, 26. l was to wait on them ALL
running in from one room to the other
as was necessary. We walters sees
funny things at times, but those two
couples was amazing. They squab-
bled with each other, two by two you
understand, neither knowing of the
others presence, and from soup to
nuts. sir, not one of them really ate
enough to fill dicky bird.
"'You had no business to take me
up so quick says the girl in %; sup
pose l did ask you to take me out to
dinner, that's no reason why you
should have done So
Nov, see here says the man,
this is no picnic for me, either. You're
a charming girl. and all that he says
but | can imagine at least as pleasant
companion as you are proving to
be- he says. 'COnfound the little
mink he goes in kind of musing
tone, God bless her. he adds quickly
she had no business to disappoint
me- You see he was thinking Of
some other girl
"'And that odious Jack says the
girl. If he hadn't been so stupid, I'd
now be with him instead of you And
so it went on, each mad that they
wasn't with someone else. And In
the next room it was just as bad
They weren't so outspoken, but !
could see that a more miserable cou
pie didn't exist that night. 1t didn't
take me long to put two and two to-
gether, so to speak and ] knew that
through some Misunderstanding each
was out with the other fellows girl
and wishin' he wasn't; and the same
with the girls. They had formally
'Mster'd' and 'Miss'd' each other so
much that ! knew all their names, so
finally | hit on a scheme that !
thought might clear the atmosphere.
81 goes into 25 and, begging his
pardon, asked if this wasn't Mr.. At
kins? II was. Well, Mr.. Atkins was
wanted at the telephone in the man.
ayers Office and I showed him the
way to the phone. Then | goes into
26 and asks wasn't this Mr.. Brown?
That was his name he says, looking
at me as II he'd like to bite my head
off. Well, Mr.. Brown was wanted at
the telephone at the cashiers desk,
in a different direction. | had ii all
fixed that there was a mistake, and
that the gentlemen really wanted had
already answered the calls. While
the two men are gone, | puts the num-
Der 25 on Room 20, and yicey versey
so to speak. You see those curtains
up there with the numbers on? Well
It was an easy matter for me to dc
this, and when the men got back each
goes into the other mans place.
was taking some chances, but it GER
tainly worked fine.
"Of course ii had TO come out righ,
away what ! had done, and such hap
py looking sets of people I've never
seen before. They run in here
quite frequent now. all four of them
together, and they always calls me
Cupid There's one thing about IL
though, that | never could quite make
out, not being very good at figures
sir"