The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1910-08-12
All Around Town.

The first ring of the door bell brings
a gentleman to the front.
Good evening. SIR"
Good morning, what's the manner"
my name is Whitley. (Wade
Hampton.) Cameo over for Scheme
berg's suit.
"For Scher e>erg's suit? 9oly Moses.
and you will get lost in his suit; you
men Scottie's.'
"No! You see it's this way. I'm
allowing for an outage of three pounds
dirt, and shrinkage of foot or so all
round. This stuff's got to be washed. .
What did you say the name was
please?"
Wade Hampton Whitley, sir, and
by permission l refer you to any law
yer or banker in town. (Thomas. Tai
bolt, Dickson Mcclure, Myall, etc.
and | want the suit, SIR.
my name is Haynie, sir; Tom Haynie,
and you can't get the suit on such re.
ferences. You haven't any of them in
sight see. Better hike away and get
somebody, just ANYBODY | know if you
want that suit. Your references may
be o. k. but. oh, that 'physiog.
Stung
| "Stung's right"
Cant climb tho ladder of fame
whether it be base ball or law without
an occasional rap from the bee.
Sore was he. Don't know. Sore he
will be after the game. Yes he might
score one, two, three in lame mans
race, when there were not more en-
tries. Here's to you Whit.
Next morning Wednesday
"Say, Doc. what's good for fellow
who thinks he has been in the game
right along and really has been Ou
for many years."
Be seated Whit. let's talk it over. =
''No. if you can't prescribe for me
while I'm standing I'll just go over tt
the Office and make one seating do fol
two. So here's wishing Doc, the hos
pital was here now. In the distance
seem to hear the noise of the amDu
lance. An, me! how soothing the
to the other side Good Samaritan
like) and poured oil, (sweet oil ant
arnlca) ovre the troubled spots of hi!
anatomy.
And say did it take all and thel
some.
Massage. did you say? Go slow
Doc; be easy there, touch lightly; I'm
all in. Say Doc, what's the matter
Pm as crazy as bat? Is my type
writer running? Mr.. imp, how man.
strikes? Two" Whit, you're GU
Whit"
'''Back to the pine hills of NORTH
Carolina for me. Never ought to have
mixed up with such bunch"
| The collouqy between Whitley ant
Hanyie was the climax of the ridicu
lous to an onloOker.
One of the best known members O.
the Paris bar, who has large ant
lucrative practice is one of the hes
storytellers of his profession, and en-
joys GOOD joke as well. as anyone
He tells this one on himself:
During one of the hot nights W,
had not long ago my wife and boy be
ing away from home, | decided to try
the out door sleep plan, and after ;
good deal of maneuvering got my be-
out on the porch where the cool nigh
winds might sob and sigh across m.
manly form and cool my fevered brow
| retired late and soon was taken a
sixteen row hike through dreamland
| am very sound sleeper and seldom
move out of one position.
"f ut daylight, some sixth sense
that subtle feeling that apprises on
of another's presence, woke me sud
denly.
''As soon as l could dig the slumbel
mists from the other and inner recess
of my optics | spied en- the other sid
of my comfortable bed, calmly snooz
ing awsy as if he was in a hotel bed,
genuine specimen of the genus hobo
dirty, unwashed, redolent and genun
ally uncomfortable. The fellow fel
my gaze Of establishment and spring
ing upshe called out cheerily: Conn
on boy, its time for US to skedaddle.
Seeing me speechless he hurriedly de
camped leaving me gasping in wonde
and dismay. The explanation? Oh
yes, simple. Why the cor founded tram
seeing the bed and its occupant GU
there thought it was a fellow hobo
who had found good thing and h,
uncerimoniously tumbled in. Well
guess | slept in the house the mex
night with mosquitoes and general dis
comfort galore. Oh, yes ~