The San Francisco call., 1910-01-16

ironing, cooking, making clothes,
dressing their children and working
in sweatshops; but I, alas. can't per-
form these humble labors; they are
all done for me. Ny husband leaves
at and returns at 6-what am
I TO do during that eternity of time?
I'm too fat for tennis; I'm afraid of
riding in motors; the beauty doc
tors won't allow me to eat; my hus-
If I lie down and rest 1 feel myself
growing perceptibly fatter. Cigar
cites make me giddy; the current
novels are all idiotic; my children are
at boarding school, and so, my dear
friend. I am literally forced to play
bridge. Bridge is the rich woman's
sweatshop. We are driven to it by
a cruel, inexorable fate, just as the
poor are driven to their sewing ma
chimes. AS matter of fact, I hate
the game. I never play without be-
ing urged, and-why, here come the
Now, we'Il have some nice quick rub
bers before dressing for dinner.
Hurry up-ring for the card table
and the cards.
We must give such fair devils as this
their due. We must try always to re-
member that these blessed society
ladies Of ours are the most circum-
spect and moral women in any coun-
try Of the world. They may be idle
extravagant and artificial, but they are
well behaved and take their boredom
with fortitude-and without the kindly
assistance of some dashing male. Let
US remember too, that bridge may help
to train their intellect. tact and judg-
ment. 1t will, perhaps. cultivate their
powers OF observation and calculation
-as far as such a thing is possible
with mere ladies.
Boswell once pointed. out to Doctor
Johnson the merchants in the city who
were grubbing and grinding and sweat
ing their lives away with no other
purpose than to amass money
rs it not a terrible spectacle?" cried
Boswell
Sir" remarked the pompous fat man.
men are seldom so worthiIy EN-
ployed"
In like manner when bitter critic
holds up his hands in holy horror and
points to four society women glued
TO the bridge table. as they add up the
honor score-with only trifiing error
or two-and dexterously deal the cards
with those sensitive. jeweled, tapering.
manicured fingers of theirs, we are
tempted to restrain him gently and ex-
claim:
sir I prithee. forbear. These ex-
otic and wayward beings are rarely so
powerless TO do US mortal mischief"
1t has been said that when a young
man plays an excellent game of bill
liards it is a proof of wasted youth
Most ladies OF fashion play a good
game of bridge. Can this possibly in
dicate that our society women ought
to have more to do. more interest and
tastes with which to fill up the chinks
of their luxurious leisure?
Should their house parties be all
bridge? Should not music and art and
books and gardens be allowed some
opportunity of beguifing them-as well
as the cards?
Apropos of society bridge, here is
little story that has ben going the
rounds:
The scenic setting is murder trial
in a New York criminal court.
Prosecuting Attorney-Are you GER
tain that the wealthy prisoner did not
visit his residence that afternoon?
Prisoners lawyer am certain of
it, and can prove an alibi for him.
Judge Gnterrupting)-Then please
proceed to do so.
P. Al can produce conclusive evil
dence TO show that my client, the
prisoner, was fully aware than on the
afternoon of the crime his wife was to