davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11
To Start Tioht Screw.

Lots Of folks have tried 10 remove q
stubborn screw frum n piece Of wood.
O Screw thai WENT nudge al all. aud
have IN thu end given iI up as a bad
job Well, IL SUCH a thug occurs again
don't give II up. duu't iuse your temper
or exert y"ITSelf but try this recipe
for rpmOviI'- The srnrw: Heat poker
red hot aud then hold Il against the
screw head for u little while: walt
few minutes for the screw TO cool
down. when il will be found that the
screw eau De removed quite easily
with the same scTewdriver that just
previously would not perform the
work, The explH nation Is quite siIn
pie. The red hot poker heats the screw.
aud the screw expands and makes
the hole IL Is in just wee bit bigger
The screw then cOols down aud re-
sumeS its original size. leaving the
hole I'm the wood size too large-and
there you are.-New York sun.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11
%, ,h. Ldsa.,. Inflammation.

The police court judge could Dot re
press a smile when bis eyes rested on
q card that vas lying on bis desk dur
Ing q session Of the court On II were
printed two stanZas under the ute
The Perfect Man." and be could not
but look at the motley gang Of prts-
oners who sat before him And be
did not think the card had been drop
ped accidentally. The verses read:
There Is d man who never drinks
Nor smokes. nor chews. nor sweArs.
Who never CANDLES. never nirts.
And shuns all sinful snares-
He's paralyzed
There Is a man who never does
Anything that Is not right
His wife can tell just where he
Al morning. noon and night
He's dead.
- indianapolis News.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11

The peacock's feathers superstition
Is nothing like so common as IT used
TO be. Perhaps Whistler's celebrated
peacock room helped to break It down.
AT any rate. peacock's feathers are or.
binary enough articles of decoration In
many happy and placid homes. There
are shops In London that keep large
stocks of them, and you may buy these
Dringers of misfortune at shilling n
bundle Did the superstition originate
because of the reported pride Of the
peacock on the pride shall have n
ralr theory, or is 1t that the eve"
OF the feather is supposed to see I'm.
desirable happenings which somehow
get published upon the housetops? One
rather feels that the beautiful tail was
natures compensation to the bird for
giving 1t the most abominable of all
Voices.-London Chronicle.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11
TEMPTED, HE ATE.
A Story OF Heinrich Heine and q
Toothsome Lyons SAUSAGE.

A Story Of Heinrich Heine and q
Toothsome Lyons Sausage.
Returning from Journey to the
south of France, Heinrich Heine met a
friend. German violinist. In Lyons.
who gave him a large sausage that
had been made In Lyons with the
request to deliver II to a mutual ac
quaintance,- a homeopathic physician.
IN Paris. Heine promised to attend
to the commission and intrusted the
delicaCy 10 the care of his wife. who
was travelling with him. But as the
postchaise was very slow and he
soon became very hungry, on the ad
vice of his wife both tasted Of the
sausage, which dwindled with every
mile.
Arriving at Paris. Heine did not
dare to send the remainder to the
physician. and yet he wished to keep
his promise. So he cut Off the thin
nest possible slice with his razor
wrapped it in a sheet of vellum paper
and inclosed II in an envelope. with
the following note:
Dear Doctor-From your scientific inyes-
legations We learn that the millionth mart
OF a certain substance brings about the
greatest results. | beg therefore your
Kind acceptance OF the accompanying mil.
month part of Lyons sausage which our
friend gave me to deliver to YOU. II
homeopathy Is truth. then this little
piece VIII have the same effect on Won n 9
the whole sausage, Your
HEINRICH HEINE
-Ughetd's with Physicians and eli.
ents."
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11
Real Sea Serpen+s


In New Caledonia sea serpents mr.,
frequently seen and sometimes c,n
tured. They are curious creatures
the head being very small and scarce
~ dlstinguishable from the BODY and
the tall being formed like an oar In
length they are generally between
tnree and four feet In the Jaw there
are tiny glands containing poison. but
as the mouth is very small it is diff
CUT Tor them to bite. and the natives
hahdie them fearlessly. A European
taVe'er witnessed an experiment at
Noumea which shows that under GER
tam conditions the sea serpent can do
ueadly work. A rat was caught in q
trap and Its tongue was grasped nv
pair of pinchers and placed in tho
mouth Of sea serpent. The sernent
Immediately bit it. and the rat died in
four minutes.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11
Too Realistic.

During a performance Of Captain
Lapalisse" at a Valencia theater some
years ago an incident occurred which
for lifelike effect left nothing to be de-
sired. During the said play some of
the actors mingle with the spectators
in order to cooperate from the body
of the house. No sooner had MlraIles,
the actor. taken his seat in the stalls
than a daring pickpocket robbed him
of his gold watch. Miralles seized the
man by his coat collar and called out
In deep bass voice:
Police! Help! Thieves!
The audience, taking this little cpl
sode to be part Of the performance.
roared with laughter. Even the police
men Joined in without stirring hand or
foot.
This is no farcew cried the actor
In tones of despair. 1.-THE fellow has
got my watchv
The voice sounded so natural that
the audience broke into loud applause
at such excellent fooling" Meanwhile
the thief managed to break away from
his captor and escaped.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11
President Helps Orphans

Hundreds Of orphans have been helped
10y the President of the Industrial and
Orphans Home at Macon, Ga, vino
writes We have used Electric Bitters
In this Institution for nine years. 1t
has proved most excellent medicine far
Stomach, Liver aud Kidney troubles
We regard it AS one of the best family
medicines on earth" 1t invigorates the
vital organs, purlfies the blood, aids di-
gest'on, creates appetite. To strength.
en- and build up thin, rale, weak chll.
dren or rundown people it has no
equal Best for female complaints
Only soc at j. w. Thlrston's.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11
Farmers Mix Your Own Fer
tilizers.

DO you know that home mixing of
fertilizers has proved to be the most
economical and satisfactory method of
procuring fertilizers? 1t is now gener.
ally conceded by up-to-date agriculture
lists that better results are obtained bv
buying the crude materials and mixing
fertilizers especially adapted to the diff
ferent crops you raise and the varying
conditions of the soil found on the
farm.
If you will send us your name on Il
postal with a request therefor Wa ...
send you free, posrpajd
formulas which were ru
the Director of the Nrm. ....
ment Station and which have been used
by many Vermont farmers with excellent
success. We will also give full .direc-
tions for mixing fertilizers adarted to
all the crops commonly raised on YER
mont farms. When writing please
mention this paper. Address CARROLL
S. PAGE, Hyde Park, Vt.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11
THE HoMEMAKER.
Mans chivslry to the Fried Goddess
Of the Firsside.

Mans chivalry 20 the Fried ooossss
Of the Firsside.
As We men frequently admit, II l.
our chivalrOus regard for woman
which leads Us 10 desire that she shall
confine her wholly admirable energies
10 the making Of our home ana the
keeping Of our houses. She Is tender
and fraIl, and 50 we urge that she
shall not for n moment drop her role
as the goddess Of the household. There
Is nothing that so rouses our almost
sacred admiration as To see our own
particular goddess with a dishrag In
one hand and a frying pan In the 9th
er. Let us never desert this high idea
OF womanhOod and its lofty purpose la
life.
Particularly let us not do so because
IL a woman does not keep the house
il will not be kept. Would we men
engineer and prepare 1905 meals IN
one year? Would we wash dishes
I.O95 tines. wipe them l.OJJ times.
sew, darn. mend. devote our lives TO
a gray monOtony Of treadmill effort:
Not on your life! Our chivalrous re
gard for adored woman would not per
NIT IT. And we would go crazy within
six months II we tried. | know OF
nothing that we should cling to more
closely than this chivalrOus regard
for our womankind. II saves the cost
OF many and many hired girl.
l have penned this little tribute To
mans chivalrous regard for woman
because anybody can see that ii de-
serves IT, Woman. the hOusekeeper
(and nothing elsel. the fried goddess
OF the Preside. the queen of her domes
tic domain. with a stewpan for a tiara
and a stove hook for scepter. let us
together pledge her. while we register
our chivalrous VOW that we will keep
her where she is unless we men need
her as a stenOgrapher or something
else, In which event our chlvalrous re
gard may stretch few points.-Cali-
fornia Monthly.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11
CRAWFORD IN kits.
The kovsIist's Remark When He Saw
Himself as a Child,


Himself as . Child.
One Of the best known guides In the
capitol al Washington used 10 he
Colonel Jasper T. Snow. formerly a
Kansas City lawyer. who always sat
I'm Republican conventions and voted
for Blaine as long as there WAS a
Blaine To vote for.
Colonel Snow used TO tell this little
story Of the late Marion Crawford
He had met MIR. Crawford IN Flor.
ence. Italy. and when the novelist
came 10 Washington Colonel Snow was
the first person who showed him the
doors made by the novelist's father
Thomas Crawford.
These are the senate bronze doors
on the eastern portico They repre-
sent scenes connected with the Revo-
luton and the founding of the govern
ment
The panel representing Washington's
reception az Trenton when gu his way
to his Inauguration In New York con
tains among the pOpulace portrait fig
ures of the sculptor. his wife. his
three children aud Randolph Rogers
the sculptor of the main doors of the
capitol.
The novelist. who had never seen
the doors before. quickly identified his
mother and father.
YES" said he. mother used to
wear her hair just like that"
Then. gazing at the largest child. a
Fauntleroyish figure In kilt. with long.
flowing hair. he added speculatively:
But wonder If ever really did
look like that."-New York Sun.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11

About the middle Of the last century
a very high English official died in a
fortress at place that is one of the
centers OF Brahmanic orthodoxy, and
at the moment when the news of his
death reached the sepoy guard at the
main gate black cat rushed out of it.
The guard presented arms to the cat
as salute to the flying spirit of the
powerful Englishman. and the coinci
dence took so firm hold of the local,
1ty that up to few years ago neither
exhortation or orders could prevent n
Hlndoo sentry at that gate from pre-
senting arms to any cat that passed
out at night. BOMBAY Times.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11
Brave Fire laddies

often receive severe burns, putting GU,
hres, then use Bucklen's Arnica Salve
and forget them. 1t soon drives ont
PAIN For Burns, Scalds, Wounds. Cuts
ana Bruises its earth's greatest healer
quickly cures Skin Eruptions, Old
sores, Boils, Ulcers, Felons; best Pile
cure made Relief is instant. csc at
w. Thurston.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11

There is an Italian SUPERSTITION II.
whenever a king belonging to d
house Of Savoy dies a huge ea.,.t.
be seen crossing the Alps oye, -r
ley of Aosta in the direction If Sr,
and the conviction prevails al.m,-.
inhabitants Of Aosta that tl., ra
guides the soul of the dead ,ora.-
TO join those Of his ancestors In y--
When King Charles Albert (.a p
Lisbon. King Victor Emmanuel d.
at Rome and King Humber va, /.
sasinated az Mona in 1900 the Ed.
was seen winging lis way across IL
Alps. All other ea-i,s crossing ia
Alps don't seem TO count for mgsa
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11
THE FIRST CLOCKS.
One at Psdua That Was q Wonder OF
Mechanism.

One at Psdua That Was q Wonder OF
Mechanism.
1t was. we are told, I'm 1909 that the
first clock known TO the world was
placed in the tower of San Eustorgfo.
IN Milan.
The greatest establishment and ad-
miratlOn were manifested by CROWDS
who focked to see the timepiece. In
1874 clock was installed In the pal,
ace Of the mobiles at Padua- This was
a wonder Of mechanism indeed. Tor
besides indicating the hours II showed
the course of the sun. the revolutions
of the planets. the various phases OF
the moon. the months and the fetes
Of the year.
The period of the evolution from the
clock to the watch was seventy-one
years-not so very long. all things con
sidered-and the record OF the first
watch is 1880. A half century later
an alarm clock made its appearance
This. we are Dold. was looked upon
BE- the people of that age as "un In.
strument prodigieux."
The fortunate possessor of this clock
was Andrea Alciato, a councillor OF
Milan. The chroniclers have placed
OH record that this clock sounded a
bell at stared hour. and at the same
time a little wax candle was lighted
automatically. How this was done we
fnl Int 10 ha
looked that until about seventy years
ago we bad no means of obtaining
light other than the finder box. so
that the Milanese must have been cen
turtles ahead of US in this respect.
Not much progress was made with
the watch until 1910. when the sec
ond hand was added.-London Globe
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11
Ancient R.nas-

Ropes made of various kinds off.
and leather are Of very ancient ta..
Ropes of palm have been fund &
Egypt In the tOmls Of BsliIa>.
about 1000 b. c.. and Oh The walls q
these tombs is also shown tie Cs..s
of preparing hemp. Ia q uub al
Thebes of the time Of Tl.ta4e, vi
about 1900 h. c. is a group r2H
senting the process Of twisting Ii @.
Of leather and the method Of Cgtl.
leather into thongs.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11
What They Were Hawkino.

At an exhibition OF paintings IN Lon
don in one of the galleries hung the
notable picture Hawking In the Old
Ell Times" An elderly farmer and his
wife paused before this picture. view
Ing It with evident satisfaction.
John" said the old lady. what's
thatT
John then turned over the leaves of
the catalogue he carried.
They ca It Hawking L III Owden
Time" said he.
Hawking. Why. what are they
hawking" she inquired.
Il dunno" he replied. but spect
they're trying to sell them birds"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11
LACEMAKlNG.
An Old Legend That Tells Of the ORR
gin of the Art.


gin of the Art.
Lacemaking Is by no means so old
an industry as most persons suppose
There is no proof that 1t existed pre-,
vious to the fifteenth century. and the
oldest known painting in which 1t ap-
pears is portrait OF lady in the
academy at Venice painted by Caspac-
clio. who died about 1923. The legend
concerning the origin of the art IL as
follows:
A young fisherman Of the AdrIatic
was betrothed TO a young and beuuti.
full girl of one of the isles of the Ia
goon. Industrious as she was bpauti-
full. the girl made new net for her
lover. who took 1t with him on board
his boat. The first time he cast 1t into
the sea he dragged therefrom an exuui-
site petrifed wrack grass. which he
FASTENED to present to his fancee: but.
war breaking out. the fisherman was
pressed into the service Of the vene-
ton navy. The poor girl wept at the
departure of her lover and contem-
plated his last gift to her. While abb
sorbed in following the intricate ira
Gerry Of the wrack grass she began to
twist and plair the threads weighted
"|. small beads which hung around
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11

You look thoughtful tonight.
Smith," remarked Brown as he stretch.
ed himself on two chairs.
Yes" said Smith. II have Just got
note from the landlady."
What does she say?"
She says that l must pay my board
ut once or her daughter will sue me
for breach Of promise. I'm thinking
what I'd better do."-London Tit Bits
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11
ON THE WITNESS Sr,.
The Right Of q witnsss FL, A.
Lns~e-- W.

Like StevensJu's chill
witness should speak u...
spoken TO. He should rr "a
anything except that uI..a r.-
q question which with a---
tence could really lee aa, ...., ~.
or No" he has a rIsEr ie
plain Yes" or "No." Tr.. .f
happens most often iu OBJ. ...
perts. The Yes. but I -... '.s
and mo. but | will eys,
the distinguished expert r-.
the commonwealth Co. f......... 90
monwealth versus Qua. rt.'
tried before Judge Bid4.. f..
OF quarter sessions Of n-... ..
county several years ago >rr r
the writer's memory.
II is a mistaken uurT.r o..
ness is bound TO answer -g...,.....
1t is surprising that su.l ...r.-.
ever been the received ,r.a.r-
the hunting down OF w........
expOunding Of the dar'-f.. ..
craft were regarded AS r-r.- ,...
functions only a Ceutur. .- g.
The theory as to categp- 70 nal.
completely exploded hv r.,.
who propounded the question --
are you going to stop ..s.-
wife," and demanded "a r.-...-.
swer. IL the lawyer n,.......
you that you must uu.. --.-
mo" you have the If .Ir t..e...
the question is one which t...
ccptible OF a categorical ....... --
should floor counsel far i... .......
Mannerly behavior ou --a,-
witnesses includes kecrl.g or... q.
per under almost an r-.r....
Cross examination for tl. rr-,.
testing your memory is Boz r,a.s
to be and should not Doc r.oa.r.I
insulting. 1t should Therefore H.. E
resented. If the Gro, .-.....
transcends all Bounds ard ,.r.
tience is exhausted a sharp r,u~
not necessarily injurc yau. f..r-...
with the jury. The jury .ymua.
with the witness more th.n ua. =.
lawyer, and, while mere s..u-,ra.. a.
the sake Of being smart or ho.ars
too expansive personality ismll
plored, you will be sura af syn.
thetic audience if you as. iarar..
aud counsel in the wrolr.-!rl In
Williams In Green BAG.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11
Fresh Cut Meat and Bones nc an
Eco Producer

Fresh Cut Meat and Bone has been
called the Ideal Food for laying hens
because it contains in highly concen.
trated but easily assimilated form all
the materials which are contained in
TIE egg If your hens are not LAYING
you Vt mad better send to c. S. Page, Hyde
RANK VT, for a 200 ID barrel of this
f"od' 1t will cost you only S35o
,n'ght prepaid, to'your railroad station
" men writing him mention this paper
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11
The Australian Stock WHIP.

The stock whip in the skillful hands
OF the Australian Is not only an article
OF the greatest utility. but also a for.
u..aH'. w"".u Owing 10 It's great
... " .....s .am twelve &c
.. ... .a.r.u.7- of the
Has., which treasures only eighteen
inches. 1t is an extremely difficult and
awkward thing to WELD. and the be-
glnner Is apt to hurt himself If he does
not exercise care when practicing. A
well trained stockman, however, can
hit cent every time ut ten PAGES dis.
lance and with the dreaded lash In his
hand. cracking like pistol shots, can
Keep mob Of wild cattle In check. II
used with full force 1t will cut through
skin and flesh like knife, SAYS the
Wide World Magazine, but unless a
beast shows distinct vice the stockman
uses 1t more for the purpose Of instill.
Ing fear than Of causing pain. 1t can
also be used as bolas, a Patagonian
form Of the lasso. and an adept can
cntch and hold beast by causing the
iash to curl around its legs.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11
The ONLY Wov

an " ~" ~"1J way.
wish knew how to keep a sery.
inat man across the way can helm
does &c he conduct an intelligence Of
Post. ooS'oh
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11
a Niqht Alarm,

Worse than an alarm of fire is the
metallic cough of Group. Careful
mothers keep Foley's Honey and Tar in
the house and give it at the first sign OF
danger. Fole,'s Honey aud Tar has
saved many little lives. No opiates'
John W. Thurston.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11

and have used several well known kid
ney medicines all of which gave me no
relief until | started taking Foley's Aid
"ey Pills Before used Foleys Kid
ney Pills was subject to severe back
ache and pains in my kidneys with sup.
preston aud often cloudy voiding.
While upon rising in the morning |
would get dull headaches. Now have
taken three bottles of Foley's Kidney
Pills and feel 100 per cent better. am
never bothered with my kidneys or blad-
der aud once more feel like nv own self
All this | owe solely to Foley's Kidney
Pills and always recommend them to
my fellow sufferers John W, Thurs
ton.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11

Why" asked the judge. "do You
think your husband is dead? You say
you haven't heard from him for more
than year. Do you consider that
reasonable proof that he has passed
out of existenceY .
Yes. your honor. If he was still
alive he'd be asking me to send him
money."-Chicago Record Herald.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11
An insinuatino Missile.

lie was German student, and this
was the letter he addressed to his up.
Gle:
Dear Uncle-A very strange thing hap.
pened yesterday. | went to see a friend
OF mine at the bank who knows your
handwriting very well. and he thought
you We're Ill, as l had not lately presented
any checks signed by you. He begs to be
remembered to you. as also do |. and vo,,
might let my friend see your signature
again. II you are very busy you might
send blank check. and ] will fill It in.
Yours affectionately, KARI.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11
To Reform Him.

Minister-You say you are going n
marry man to reform him. That is
noble. May ask who II isy Miss
beaud-lrs young Mr.. Bondclipner
Minister-lndeed! did not know he
mad any bad habits. Miss Beauu-
res; his friends say that be is becom.
ingquite misery.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11

III | had tiny way" DR.. Mcnamara
once confessed TO an interviewer, e"
should be singing In Carmen instead
OF making speeches from the treasury
bench but unfortunately the British
public thinks great deal more Of
man who can make bad speech than
man who can sing good song."-
Westminster Gazette.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11
Very Thouahtfui

Before we were married" soid Mr.
meekton' Il showed my affection for
henrietta by serenading her"
suppose you neglect any such M.
tentions now"
Yes; | show my affection now nv
respecting ner desire that shall not
Try 10 Sing Washington Star.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11
Unusual.

Don't you like the bookp'
mo. think the heroine is a most
impossible creature"
rs that SOP
Yes. She doesn't appear to have a
single gown of some simple material
that enhanced rather than hid her
graceful tigurev "-Exchange.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11

foIey's Kidney Remedy will cure any
case of Kidney or Bladder trouble that
is not beyond the reach of medicine
NO medicine can do more. John w.
Thurstou.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11

Pneumonia follows cold but never
follows the use of FoIey's Honey and
Tar which stops the cough, heals the
lungs and expes the cold from The sys-
tenn. Johu w. Thurston.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-03-11
Authorization.

Doesn't II make you the least bit
envious to see what elegant furniture
Mrs. Eyefy is putting into her house
next doorw
Not bit. My husband says 1t will
be sold by the sheriff within six
months-and I'll be there to buy IT,
Chicago Tribune.