The Newark journal., 1910-07-29
Handy Ways
of a Husband

when you have time, George said
Mrs. Andrews one evening, 81 wish
you would put up that shelf in the
kitchen"
1T is SO hard to do anything after
dark" sighed her husband "Tf you
can wait till Saturday afternoon I'll do
1t then"
That's what you said last week"
Mrs. Andrews demonstrated. 81 wait
ed till Saturday and then you said you
would put up the shelf when you fin
ished reading the paper. By that time
you had forgotten it."
We'll, then. suppose it's up to me
to do it now" he said. where's the
shelf"
Out in the kitchen. Do you need
help?"
you needn't stir" he said. gener-
ously Il can do it, all right"
In a few minutes after he disap.
peared his wife heard his apologize
tones. I'm sorry to bother YOU" he
said, "but where do you want that
shelf"
His wife could not count the mum.
Der of times she had told him she
wanted it put up over the sink. but
she went patiently and indicated the
place with her finger
ooh, seems to me you did say some
thing about that" he acknowledged.
at won't take me a minute, so you
needn't bother to wait when you're so
tired"
She went back to her sewing and
had taken several stitches before he
called again. Say, do you know where
the mischief the hammers gone to-"
ct is in the tool drawer" she an
swered. THAT is, unless you've had
it since put it away"
ut isn't there" he cried, triumphant
ly. I've already looked there"
Mrs. Andrews went out to the kitch-
en- and hunted for the missing ham
mer.
1T beats all how things get lost in
this house." he said. THAT girl is the
limit. It's sheer carelessness."
That's what I've always said" Mrs.
Andrews agreed, sweetly, as she fished
the hammer out from under the stove.
Here it is"
The husband had the grace to laugh.
THAT time I was stung," he said.
81 used the hammer this morning to
pound a nail in my shoe and l re-
member my foot struck it as | left the
room, so | must have kicked it under
the stove. Where are the nails?"
Aren't screws better?n
"Screwsi" he exclaimed an that
wood? Nothing but long nails would
hold that shelf. l haven't the slightest
idea where there are any"
Mrs. Andrews found the nails and
went back to her work.
"Alicei" her husband called pres
emily. Would you mind holding the
shelf while / pound?"
She went out again and held 1t while
he hammered away for dear life. She
was also properly sympathetic when
the nails bent
There seems to be a COMPOUNDED
beam in the way" he said "1ll have
to bore holes first You go and sit
down and I'll call you when I need
help"
He was as good as his word for she
was scarcely seated when she was
summoned again.
do you know where the bit ISL
he asked. I've been hunting an age
for it,"
She opened the tool drawer and
took it out.
We'll, that beats ALL" he ex-
claimed. 81 looked there II must
have been under that box It's very
hard to find anything with the box of
nails in there.
She had sawed a full seam when
she looked up and saw him standing
in the doorway.
You were quiet" she said q didn't
hear you do much hammering
Il had to give it mp" he told her
Those nails are worthless and |
knocked quite bit of plaster down
trying to make them stay in. I'll get
better nails ana put it up some other
time"