davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Detroit times., 1910-10-11

things they'll do for US honest, hard
listed fellers IL we'll only elect EN-
and then when We put 'em through
can't see us over their shirt collars,
and don't even know that such beings
as Hezekiah S1ubbins, or Enoch
Grimes, or Jedidiah Spewkins, or,
live upon the face OF the airth; II such
are going to be did. what's the use OF
having Fourth OF July's. Cheer me
agin)
What's the use OF nrin' cannon.
Shooting crackers. burnin' squios,
IL there has TO be man on
Every stump a tellin' nbs.
Must the heroes Of Pine Holler
Hear TO all the piZen snakes
Try their best 10 make 'em swaller
Bout the value of the stakes?
Swifter than the lightnin's nash.
Say, We'll never knuckle under
Or believe their pesky trash.
Yes. sir, Tell them nation fellers.
Preachin' bout the Union dear,
IL they want 10 keep their smellers
Out OF danger. keep from here.
(Cheer agtn.)
Feller-citizens: Such doins amt to
be stood, and IL you don't want them
mean, chicken-hearted fellers to bring
this country to predition, let every
man. boy, and yelper, give shout for
Stubbins, liberty, and the dear Union,
that shall rose the bloody British lion
from his lair. and send him howlin'
DER the sandy plains OF Popocata-
peete: while the Russian bear shall be
so skeered, that. sneakin' like whip
ped spaniel, he shall throw himself
kerwhollop into the gulf OF 'blivion;
and the glorious American eagle.
hearin' the rumpus. and fiappin' his
wings DER the universal Yankee ma.
ton, that stretches from the bay OF
Biscay to Californy, shall thunder out
Stubbins! Fourth Of July! and yam
kee Doodledum forever; (Scene closes
with three cheers.)
The Detroit times., 1910-10-11
AMC IA I! q!
+, HAS LISTENED BY FRED ScHAEFEP.

you do when q large opponent Is
grinding his hob-nailed heel into your
right eye.
Where a man was formerly buried
under mass OF humanity he Is now
merely buried in thought. Sometimes
he never comes out OF II.
Indeed, the rules make the game en-
tirely harmless. The spectators are
In less danger than ever before.
or course, once In a while q player
gets hurt. The rules admirably take
care OF such cases. II the player Is
disabled he Is not permitted to remain
In the game to pull and haul the other
players about. Becoming injured Is
only one form Of rudeness that the
rules frown upon.
Football Is becoming less fatal every
year. It's vitality Is simply surpris-
ing. Many predicted that It would
die long ago.
And as for the players who are
getting killed. they are mere tyros.
Experienced players who have been
carted away in the dead wagon eschew
such dangerous tactics. In this way
a gradual reform IL being worked.
knew a fellow who belonged TO a
team. told him when he started that
he might get his arm broken, but he
showed me In the rules where Il was
impossible. The rules proved to be
right. II was his back.
The Detroit times., 1910-10-11
From Another Point of View

A Csss o. Louis Browne 10 ,oie
- spsahng terms
AsA now Appears
oavs ~ ssuntsy,
20 TA1Us bset eat
Weest q oJhns
~ hnnssaf - o. iOais
~ a. ~ $500 isnsa
xr Manssg ~ Assasa
= f1orsd Il weuld - vaudeville
- ooy hi,s xs hsvs against
va 80 q ~ 4 = bueness
vfr
~ nnss hone dat the rss0',n1 tank dry.
rlrs strike in New York.
q sslAsy thsy 81 y y ths same place
The Detroit times., 1910-10-11

Peaehstone Slips Into HE Throat
Saved BY Prompt Medical Aid.

LOGANSPORT, Ind. Oct. 12.-ln
passing plate OF The cakes to her
husband, Mrs. Charles Miller said !:
DO you feel like doughnut to
night?"
Miller was eating peach. The
idea that he could feel like a dough.
nut struck his funnybone just In time
to start him eating and laughing at
the same time. The peachstone slid
into his epiglottis and he strangled
until a physician was called.
The physician took Miller to his Of
fee In an automobile and made him
cough up the peachstone by admins.
tering red pepper. but for more than
an hour Millers life was In danger.
The Detroit times., 1910-10-11

as the premier OF
the cabinet. As q
rule. when the
president makes up
his Official family.
he selects the all
lest man he can
get for the state
portfolio. There
have been q few
administrations In
which the secre-
tary of state yield
ed nrst place In In
huence TO the head
Ut another depart.
ment In cabinet ar
The Detroit times., 1910-10-11
Finds Pearl Shaped Like . Foot.

L ACROSSE. Wis, Oct ia local
pearl hunter named William Scherrer
has found In clam shell pearl-slus
which Is an exact reproduction OF q
woman's foot. showing FIVE well
formed toes, and even a small corn
on the little toe.
The Detroit times., 1910-10-11

A friend OF his also read the rules
and joined an eleven. They played q
game. and then there were ten.
The Detroit times., 1910-10-11
TOMORROW THE TREAS
URY DEPARTMENT.

Last Met Forty-three Years Ago.
TUSLA. Okla, Oct. 11.-Without
Encouragement, John Wilton, OF
Fairfield, N. c.. and William H. Keen
OF of this city, met In a downtown
restaurant. II was the first time for
years. The two graduated from a
high school In Alliance. O., and both
men left home Immediately after IN
ishing school.
The Detroit times., 1910-10-11

The department Of state employs
the smallest force OF any department
OF the government. but II Is first In
rank. and it's Official head is regarded
The Detroit times., 1910-10-11

from tn city with q sore-eyed white
poodle under her arm. This wus tn
first inklin' her folks had that she'd
Joined a burIesque show"
Give Them the SILENCE"
Uncle Joe.
High Cost of Living.
Ice Man.
Bargains in Straw Hats.
Also, no list Is complete without
B-ll-ng-r.
j. Pierpont Morgan pays 81 apiece
for his cigars, and has his initials on
the band of each.
"Oi hear your wolfe is sick, Moike?'
She is thot."
rs she dangerous?"
'Divil a bit She's too weak to be
dangerous now.
DR.. Francis Ward, a British photo
grapher, has taken pictures showing
that certain fish show fear by turn
ing pale, and that others bluff sue
cessfully by initiating the more
vicious weaponed fish.
Newlyweds.
Henry always tells me everything
that happens
That's nothing. Thomas tells me
lots OF things that never happen at
ALL"
The territory around the straits Of
Magellan is developing into q great
sheep country.
Uncle Jake was studying the
French bill Of fare In the cafe to
which his city nephew had taken him.
by the way, uncle" said the
nephew, did you ever have spinal
NO" said Uncle Jake, IAN I don't
want any. Liver and bacons good
enough for me-
More than $4,000 has been sub
scribed In Tokyo for the relief of
flood suffers in Japan.
Mrs. Bell has a very indulgent
husband"
Yes. and from the way his breath
smelled the other night, | imagine he
INDUCES little too much"
The Detroit times., 1910-10-11

Yes, I know tho ioOtDail season has
begun. I've been a pallbearer twice
this week.
It's pleasant TO know. however, that
the new rules obviate violence. when
two dozen or so huskies mingle on the
field OF carnage. nothing has such q
restraining effect upon them as net
OF neatly printed rules I'm little
book with black seal binding. It makes
them thoughtful. IL leads them to
pause In the heat OF battle and wonder
what rule II on page 20 would have
The Detroit times., 1910-10-11

And no Newspaper, circular, pampn-
let or publication Of any kind contain
Ino any advertisement OF any lottery
alft enterprise or scheme OF any kind,
Offering prizes dependent In whole or
In part upon lot or chance, or con-
taInIno any list Of prizes drawn or
awarded by means Of any such lottery
off enterprise or scheme, whether
said list contains any part or all OF
such prizes, shall be deposited In or
carried by the malis Of the United
states, or be delivered by any post
master or letter carrier. whoever
shaIl Knowingly deposit or cause TO be
deposited, or shall knowingly send or
The Detroit times., 1910-10-11

sadie Fridemush 10 back on a Visit
from tn city with sore-eyed white
poodle under her arm. This wus tn
first inklin' her folks had that she'd
Joined a burlesque show"
The Detroit times., 1910-10-11
A STREET.
CORNER
SIGHT.


Etters the street
untdy Somehow feels
The Detroit times., 1910-10-11
OBSERVATIONS

Dag
handing each person ne
others mechanically One conucopa and putting MS
mouth, who standing care
] 1t small bits and threw
| cor | II he AIR Ii
Of the it sidewalk; and not
read
The Detroit times., 1910-10-11

j. Pierpont Morgan pays 81 apiece
for his cigars, and has his initials on
the band of each.
The Detroit times., 1910-10-11

DR.. Francis Ward, British photo
grapher. has taken pictures showing
that certain fish show fear by turn
ing pale, and that others bluff sue
cessfully by initiating the more
vicious weaponed fish.
The Detroit times., 1910-10-11

"Oi hear your wolfe is sick, Moike?'
She is thot"
rs she dangerous"
"Divil bit She's too weak to be
now
The Detroit times., 1910-04-18
BANDITS HOLD UP
PASSENGER TRAIN
Escape With Registered Mail After
Sending Engine Wild-Womar
Operator Prevents Wreck.

BENICIA, Car. April 1S.-Two
masked men held up the China-Japan
mail, which left san Francisco over
she Southern Pacific for the east at .
. clock Saturday night. and escaped
with nine pieces OF registered mail.
The robbery occurred at Spring, two
miles east of this place.
The train carried no express mat.
ter Four of the pouches have been re
covered. hut the robbers rifled the
others and now are hiding in the hills
between Martinez and Oakland.
Sheriffs' rOsses from two counties, de-
tectiyes and postoftlce inspectors on
horses and in automobiles are en-
gagged in the man-hGnt. The robbers
were we'll armed and a battle is an
ucIpated.
The passengers on the train were
not disturbed and several of them did
rot learn of the robbery Until morn
ing After getting the mail sacks, the
robbers cut the engine loose from the
train and sent 1t wild, throttle open,
down the main track to the east.
In the direct path of the engine was
a section Of passenger train No. ,,
weet-bound. heavily loaded. But for
the presence OF mind of the woman
telegraph operator OF Suisun, COLI
sion would have occurred. The en-.
CINE was thrown into a ditch in the
nick Of time.
The train robbery is the first in
California for several years. II was
plotted and executed in spectacular
fashion.
The Detroit times., 1910-04-18
He GIVES FACTS
ABOUT COMETS
Uncle Sans Naval Astronomer Saws
Halley's Blazing Phenomenon
Is Harmless.

WASHINGTON, April 1S.--Prof
Asaph Hall, in charge OF the Unitec
States observatory telegraph, just
laughs when asked IL some harm may
come 10 the earth when IL dives
through the tail of Halleys comet Oh
the morning of May IS.
Nothing can possible come OF IT.
unless 1t be display OF some Sort"
he said 10 The Times correspondent.
4 doubt whether we will be aware OF
IT when we pass through the tail.
think there is little likelihood even
of any change of the character of the
sunlight
But one or two nights later the
comet Is sure to afford an extraordin-
airy spectacle when it flames up in our
evening Sky. II Will be a magnificent
sight, bur II will come after we have
passed through the tail
we have passed through comet
tails before, and no harm has come OF
! IT, The great shower OF meteors the
older folks tell about were really just
part of lost comets tail.
THE tail isn't something the comet
is carrying along with it. as is the COM
mon belief. The comet is continually
giving off tail substances which floats
eff into space. A great deal of the
tail is light, partly comet light and
partly sunlight, reflected on tail par
ucles. There is gas in the tail and
meteors.
80 the comet head is probably
ldwiDdling in size. Each time ii crosses
| close to the sun and is set on fire 1t
must lose a great deal of the nucleus.
or head substance.
Some comets have passed the sun
SO often that their heads have COM
| pietely disappeared. The tails, left
dark AMI cold. continue whiring
around the mighty orbits, gradually
disintegrating and scattering along the
way Sometimes these tails are scat
tered all the way around the old paths
| of the dead comets. This accounts
| for annual showers OF meteors.
1.-THE famous shower of meteors of
nearly a lifetime ago was comets
tail that hadn't been scattered out
along the orbit to any extent So we
ran into them in greater quantities and
our atmosphere burned up all OF that
part OF the tail that we met.
I'VE may have such a shower when
we go through lialley's comets tat,
but that is no occasion for worrying
The great shower of meteors hurt no
one and we have no reason to believe
another can do any damage.
81 take no stock in the poisonous gas
theory. Such gas is too thin TO cause
us any trouble. There will be no iu-
ItensifiSation of sunlight. The worst
can forsee is perhaps a vast electrical
display. harmless as the northern
lights"
Prof Hall is an astronomer and the
son OF an astronomer, and he Is not
worrying over eny disastrous conse-
tquences from the collision. However.
he signified his intention of getting up
early on the morning of May is TO be
on hand If there happens to be a day
/ light display OF any sort
The Detroit times., 1910-04-18
RooseyeIt's Visit Costs
Police Chief Broken Leg

BUDAPEST, April 1S.-Col. Roose'
velt's visit TO Budapest has already
cost the chief of police Il broken leg
and IL the enthusiasm OF the Hungar-
ian populace continues throughout his
stay. there is no telling what the final
count will be.
The chief of police was caught in
last nights crush at the railway sta
ton, knocked down and trampled
upon. He tried his best 10 save him
self by telling the people who he
was, but the great throng was bent
on just one thing-getting as near
Roosevelt rs possible, and had the
chief been the emperor. it is prob
able the result would have been the
same.
Roosevelt was literally raised of
the ground and carried forty feet by
the enthusiastic mob, but emerged
without = scratch
The colonel began repetition OF
the old grind 1T 1890 o'clock, at
which hour he called on Archdukc
Joseph Later he paid his respects
to Count Khuen Won Hedervary, the
premier, and was then taken in charge
by Count Appenyi. an old friend
whom the colonel had entertained III
Washington
With the count. Roosevelt visited
parliament, where legislative matters
were almost abandoned while a re-
ception was held in his honor. In the
evening the count gave a dinner for
Roosevelt at which the legislative
leaders, Archduke Joseph and the
Baron and Baroness Won Hengelmuel-
Ter were present
Despite the attempts of royalty and
the nobility TO claim all of the colon
els time, he showed that he has lost
none OF his democratic spirit by
breaking away from his entertainers
long enough TO visit Francis Kossuth,
the leader of the United Opposition
party Kossuth is III and unable TO
leave his house He was overjoyed
when the colonel was announced.
This visit was wholly unexpected
and was startling revelation TO the
Hungarlans OF Roosevelt's democracy.
1t served to increase the enthusiasm
of the people. A three hour automo-
bile trip over the city was the prin-
ciual a. e.,
The Detroit times., 1910-04-18

voted for Cummins this time polled
1873 900 votes. while Maj. Lacey, tor
mer congressman and standpatter.
polled bur $4,000 votes. This Is con
sidered a fair average for both stand
patters and Republicans.
AT the Republican primary TAFT
polled 235,000 standpat and progress
sive votes. At the election Taft got
PTS. 900 votes.
This additiogal 10000 votes the pro-
sressives claim as ;heir own. 1t Is
with this number they hope TO deliver
the most singing defeat in years.
They hope to bring the cause OF IN
surgency 10 the top. and once and for
all bury standpatism and all that 1t
stands for
At the coming state convention both
progressiyCs and standpats are laying
plans to capture and control 1t. To
control this convention will be plume
In the hat OF either
II will be bitter fight. Ii will not
be surprising if the plogressives adopt
the method Of their Indiana brethren
a few days ago and refuse 10 indorse
the tariff indeed. they may even 90
further and bitterly condemn It. Iowa
is seat of national insurgency. The
people generally are hot over the tarifT
outrage, and condemn the Taft re-
action.
So the governor election will spell
big POLITICS.
The Detroit times., 1910-04-18

boat to Shelal and Halfa. Luxor, and
finally To Cairo. whence eventually
they would be sent by ship through
The Suez and Red sea and back %
Mombasa But meantime they were
seeing civilization in It's highest form
They pdraded through the rug-pavel
balls OF the great MOTEL and were re-
Ceived in state by their old chief. now
10 longer in khaki and helmet, but ~
iayed I'm long black coat. baggy trous-
ers, and wearing when out silk hat
They were taken by Kermit in taxi
cabs and visited the pyramids. tho
sphinx and the geological gardens
They Went aboard a warship and heard
the great guns fired They were paid
their wages in English gold. and wenr
cut and spent il right royalty, even
purchasing a case OF champagne. L.
must be al very strange To them. SO
| asked Koran TO inquire casually et
bls native servant, who was OF the
party ana the replies were rather
quaint.
What did yon see today" asked
soran
Graves. Big graves" replied the
boy.
Many"
Not many. One. two, three Very
large graves
Presently We found he had been 20
see the pyramids
And what else did you seq
After a long pause the boy replied:
Il can hardly say II may have been
q man. @erhaps woman"
This was the sphinx.
They were a useless lot, these
folks-spent all their time making bic
graves" the boy volunteered
They were all very keen on the ami
reals in The zoo. Here were things
they knew about Each animal was
recognized and hailed as an old friend
Their .irst experience with the big
guns of warship was too much for
them. In great alarm they threw
themselves prone upon the deck, anG
the officer in command had to give the
order to cease firing The first com
ment was an expression or marvel at
the speed and distance of the projec-
tile
The Detroit times., 1910-04-18
RIVER GIVES Up
MRS. BEST'S BODY

The body of Mrs. Arthur j Best,
who slipped from a cake of ice near
the Woodward-ave. dock, and drowned
in sight of scores of persons. March
10, was found Sunday afternoon
lodged against some piles in the rear
of Mrs Edward Lyons residence,
Crosse lie. William Lafayette, a
Crosse lie fisherman, discovered the
body. and towed it to shore.
Marshal Winnie, of Trenton, took
the body to TCdd's morgue, and 1t was
later removed to the county morgue
in Detroit, where Theodore and Alfred
Frankfurt, brothers OF the dead wo-
man. positively identified it,
The body was horribly decom-
posed, but the clothing, gold neck
lace, some rings, and the young wo'
mans teeth, served the purposes OF
Identification.
Arthur j. Best, of Comber. Ont.
who was arrested and held for sew.
eral DAYS by the Detroit police, fol
lowing his wife's disappearance, Is
now being sought by the authorities.
He left Comber. after receiving a
chilly reception from his old neigh
bors, and is thought 20 have gone to
Harrow, Ont.
Chief OF Detectives Mcdonnell
stated. at the time, that there were
many things which Best had not sat
sfactorlly explained, but he added
that the police were powerless 10 offer
any prosecution, in view OF the fact
that the body had not been found.
though there was moral certainty
tbat Mrs. Rpgt was the Vipfim pf Tho
sensational drowning
Coroner Burgess has charge of the
body. and will hold an inquest
The Detroit times., 1910-04-18
BANK CLERKS TO GIVE SHOW.
Plan Unique Entertainment For May
IS and 19 in Opera House.

Detroit chapter. of the American
Institute of Banking, is arranging for
another OF those successful musical
entertainments for which 1t has De-
come noted. La Fiesta Maracaybo.'
presented in the Detroit opera house
two years ago. is still remembered.
The program this year will be even
more elaborate, and the offering Will
be- known as The Bank Clerks in
Gama Yama Land" Performances
viii be given in the Detroit opera
house May Is and 10, and rehearsais
are now under way. Dr. Russell a..
Pearce will direct.
AS the title indicates, the entertain
ment will take on an oriental charaC-
ter. The scenes will be- laid in Ha.
wall with costumes TO match. In this
particular something elaborate Is as
sured.
a souvenir program rs being pre-
pared that will be we'll worth pre-
serving. Ii will comprise more than
100 pages. and will contain informa
tion OF special interest to bankers and
business men, such as interest time
tables. copies of the national and state
banking laws, brokers terms, base
ball schedules for the season. impor-
tant legal decisions. list OF grace
and no grace states, important legal
decisions. a comparison of American
and foreign coins, etc.
The Detroit times., 1910-04-18
DEATH CLAIMS ANOTHER CHILD.
Second Taken From August Muratz.
kis Family by Scarlet Fever.

The children Of b fourth grade,
Duane Doty school. are mourning the
death of another playmate, the second
that has been taken by scarlet fever
from the same family within a month.
This time It is little Karl Muratzki;
cight-year-old son Of August Muratzk.,
Of No 205 Clairmount-aye. In both
cases the disease did its work with
terrible swiftHess.- as tAe-laas ~efe
out OF school but day or two
when their deaths were announced
The mother has been Frustrated by
the double affiction. but Is recover
ing
The Detroit times., 1910-04-18
ENDS LIFE ON GRAVE.
AGED Sarnis Man Shoots Himself With
Revolver While Despondent.

SARNIA, Ont, April lS-The life
less body of John Connell. AGED 76.
was found by some men lying across
a grave in the Catholic cemetery. yes
terday. with a bullet hole in his head.
lie committed suicide while despond-
ent His wife died several years ago.
Council lived with sister in Sarnia
township ana Of late had appeared de-
spondent at times He left the house
yesterday morning. but "a he had
often gone away for day nothing
was thought of his absence.
The Detroit times., 1910-04-18

WASHINGTON. April 1S-The
Daughters of the Revolution prove
they come from sterling fighting
stock every time they hold their ma
tional convention. Previous unpleas-
antnesses will be as pink teas com
pared to the insurging that promises
TO tear up the convention which
opened today in the Daughters new
building-Memorial Continental hall
In this city.
Ii is the first convention the Daugh-
tiers have held in their new home.
Mrs. VI. T. Scott. president o. the
ID. A. r., is the Joe Cannon of the so
The Detroit times., 1910-04-18

ciety, according to the insurgents.
Mrs. Scott. it seems, discharged a u.
a. K. clerk, and the insurgents say
she exceeded her authority
So a determined group OF the rev
clutter delegates is in Washington de-
termined to impeach President Mrs.
Scott. Just as determined group OF
regulars is standing pat behind Mrs.
Scott. There are 900 odd delegates.
The convention pages this year are
young society girls. They might be
called nieces Of the revolution. since
they won't engage in the actual bat.
ties until they are older. but will act
only as ammunition carriers this time.
The Detroit times., 1910-04-18
Judge Murphy To Address Whole-
salers.

Judge Alfred ]. Murphy. Of the cir
cult court. will be the speaker at the
weekly luncheon OF the Wholesalers
& Manufacturers association, in the
Cadillac, Wednesday noon. His topic
will be Commercial litigation and the
relation of the Courts to the business
world"
The Detroit times., 1910-04-18

This Is rot a picture of the comet,
but IL will help you locate the comet
when It gets near enough in a few
DAYS 10 Do quite plainly visible 10 The
naked Ora In this picture YOU are
looking toward The point where the
sun rises Just above this point AID
a little 10 the left OF II the comet can
be seen the last few days OF April and
during the first bali of May.
II you are not sure as 10 the exact
spot whc~e the sun first appears, get
iip some morning and mark 1t by an
object I'm the laGdsCape. Then. the
next mOning an hour or two before
sunrise. watch for the comet II may
appear as a large star at FIRST. but as
the days 40 on the tail will develop.
The Detroit times., 1910-04-18

Goes three days 'safarer' '(march)
all at once" H..
Kermit and the natives are great
friends. Kermit talks their dialect
elibly. and the bows think the young
master is the best IT. the world.