The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1910-06-02
Travellers Tales


81 have been invited to make the
4th of July speech out at Wild Rice"
said John F. Walsh, the we'll known
Minneapolis salesman to the hotel
clerk as he stopped off here a few
days ago, land l appreciate the honor,
but I'll have to turn 1t down."
You should accept the invitation
said Herman Keuhl, II know the peo-
pie of Wild Rice would be pleased to
hear you and several from here would
go out to take heed to what you
said.'
I'D like to talk to them, but I
swore off on public speaking fifteen
years ago." said the travelling sales
man. Il was the, merchant prince of
little town and generally had q hand
in all the doings, but had never tried
public speaking. 1t seemed an easy
graft to me, however. I thought there
could be nc trick in standing UP be-
fore a crowd of friends and making
the welkin ring few times"
II wonder what the welkin is
said the hotel man, dreanily. I'm
always hearing of psople who make 1t
ring, but I've never seen a welkin my
self"
Neither have l. Probably it's just
figure of speech. I've heard it's a
term borrowed from the shooting gall
leries. Anyhow, I was invited to make
the principal address at the celebra-
tion twenty years ago and was proud
and happy.
Il wrote Jim corking speech, full
of stirring references to our fathers
who made a specially of bleeding and
dying, and I sprinlSled in pulwarks
and palladiums pretty thick. / prac-
tced delivering that speech at home
every night for six weeks and all my
relatives agreed that 1t was a stem
winder. My wife predicted that /
would go down in history with
Demosthenes and Cicero and a lot OF
those old colonies who kept the well
kin buzing like fire alarm. / had
that speech down SO pat that it SEEM
ed impossible that could make mis-
take. The opening sentence was full
of fire. We. who enjoy the boon OF
freedom it ran.
well, on the eventful day I reared
up before that cultured and refined
audience, and my heart went down
into my patent feathers. Unless you
know what stage fright is you can't
understand how / felt. For minute
or two / couldn't say a word, and the
crowd just stared at me. silent as the
grave, wondering why / didn't begin
the fusillade. After a little my nerve
came back to some extent, and /
pointed to the star spangled banner
that was floating overhead, and cried:
| We who enjoy the froon of beedom-
A sort of mellow gurgle rose from
the audience, and the man who was
presiding began to strangle over a
glass of water, and a lot OF people
were gripping their faces with both
| hands, to keep from laughing. / felt
as hot as though / was being burned
| at the stake, but braced up and tried
| 10 make fresh start.
1--WE who enjoy the freed Of
boonom,' ! cried
Then people didn't try to keep
their faces straight any longer. They
| just embraced each other and Iowled
and the man who was carrying around
red lemonade fell down in fit anc
upset his bucket, and the leader of tn,
band had to be carried to a pumr
where cold water could be poured
over him.
Il should have made sneak then
but / was always rather stubborn, ant
I was bound to get that boon of free
| dom straight or break a rib trying.
i Il waited for about rem minutes
Then the people had laughed them
selves into a sort of stupor, and wer,
| too exhausted to yen any more, S.
tried III again
/ I'VE who enjoy the breed o
foonom, said
Then friends dragged me off tn
platform and took me where / coul,
soak my head. They said If trie,
1t any longer a lot or prominent citi
zens would die of apoplexy.
4 well, I felt so bad over that ex
] perience that / didn't go downtown
for week and my wife hid all tn
table knives in the house, fearing T.,
do my self injury through sheer NOR
tification. But finally lived 1t dowr
II didn't hear the end OF it TO
years, though People would call m
up at all hours OF the night, by tele
phone to ask me to quote prices o.
boons Of freedom. and the loathsom
! individual who ran the opposition stor
filled his advertisements with tai
about Blooms.
J, I'D rather have a leg cut off wit
j rusty AK than go through such a
experience again, so the boys win HAY
/ to pull off their celebration withou
!. any sDell-pindaR@ from me-"