davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-19
YOUR
MOTHER
IN-LAW.

to accommodate the increase in pop
ulation In the United States.
We've got an organ In our fat,
Also q fiddle and cat,
But all these joys we'll cart away,
Unless we get more heat today.
A female herring will lay $4,000 eggs
at time.
Teacher: Johnny, what was Wash
ington's farewell address?
Johnny: Heaven.
The playful squirrels In the parks
OF New York city are about to be
exterminated by reckless driving
chauffeurs.
go he broke off the engagement,
did he? Did she take It to hearth"
mo. to court"
II is said in British political and
military circles that CONSUMPTION will
be an issue In the next political cam
paign.
"Elocution," says little Harold. lis
the way folks Is put to death in some
states"
Florida produces more than $4,000.
900 worth Of phosphate year
British postoffices handle $4,000, 600
letters and 100000 kilograms a day.
France will produce over a billion
gallons OF wine this year.
Gaby Is about to break into Ameri.
can vaudeville with pair Of kings
for openers.
"Tlm Jenkins, who wanted 90 drive
racing automobile, has been cent to
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-19

"Our Woman's club denies that IL
discusses matters above tn heads o.
its members-that 10, exceptin' fall
hats"
Your story has considerable verve.
rattle, dash and go, yet IL breaks
downs In spots"
Sure! It's an automobile story"
A French farmer, who Is suing Avi-
ator- Farnam. claims that the buzzing
Of the aero-motor frightened away all
the game on his farm.
What's your son doing now?'
Hes a big contractor"
"Houses?"
mo; debts"
A walters union has been organized
some swell hotels half OF all tips must
be given to the head waiter.
Cold storage plants in the United
States have a total refrigeration ca
pacity in excess OF 200,0OO.O0O cubic
feet.
The boy who is at the head of his
class Is generally the one all the other
fellows can lick.
A two-piece mold has been invented
so that farmers may make nest eggs
out OF clay.
The queerest thing about a Welsh
rabbit is that II Is never quite as
good as the one you made last time.
The Socialist administration OF Mil
waukee spends $4,000 a month less
than the previous administration.
Sympathize with q man who's broke
and the chances are you'll be deeply
touched.
About $500 trade marks are regis
tered every year at the patent office.
Woman may be naturally bargain
hunter. but nevertheless she once
snapped paradise for a sour apple.
Its terrible that Americans spend
so much time and money In Europe"
said VIM. r. Hearst, when he return
ed from several months of motoring
on the continent.
II requires 100000 houses q year
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-19
GOOD WORDS FOR THE TINES


To the Editor of The Times:--Per-
init me to say word on behalf OF
The Detroit Times. II is clean, pro-
gressive and newsy paper. II has al
ways taken an advanced position on
the question of bringing the govern
ment closer 10 the people. In my
opinion a government by the people
means that the people shall control.
own and operate all the Instrumental
tiles of government and this leads TO
the logical conclusion that people
should own and operate all their pub
lie utilities. The stand taken by The
Times on these questions should COM
mend itself to all progressive citi-
zens. Very truly yours,
GEO VIM. MOORE,
Campau Building.
Detroit, Mich, Oct. Is, 1910.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-19

join the army, where there won't be
any danger OF his getting hurt"
Whot beat the bosses In New York?
Who used the big stick on the stork
Who pinned the tariff on his fork?
Dear mother, pass the pickles.
A floating packet has been invented
for aviators. II will support for days
an aviator who tumbles into the wa
ter.
Cuba is going to build fine palace
for her president
AFTER three months tn, village de-
bstin' society Amt been able ter solve
tn question o. who's goin' ter pay tn
hall rent"
A cloth has been woven OF human
hair and Is adapted for use as inter.
lining for mems clothes.
Wed have won that football game
II our captain hadn't lost his head
Mercy, was Is as bad as that?
heard II was only an ear"
Canada's merchant marine has
shown a marked decrease In 35 years
4 he tonnage was 1,15S,S63 In 1874; In
1909 IL was 1858.
II. the women's revolt continues to
grow, all men who now beat thei>
wives will beat the carpets instead
II you wish your geranium TO bloom
In winter. pinch OF all the buds un-
I'll December, and water thoroughly
once a week.
For every poor cuss trying to climb
the ladder OF fame, there are six
chaps greasing It SO he will slide
down.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-19

agricultural inter
ests OF the United
states amounts to
nearly nine billion
dollars. Assuming
that the depart
ment has been able
during all the years
OF Its work to In
crease the emcien-
cy Of farm opera
tons only / per-
cent. Its total an
nual value to the
n a { ion W gu ! d
amount to $4,000
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-19

To the Editor Of The Times-"For-
ward March" has been the battle
hymn of the progressives through all
the centuries, and rejoice in the
good fortune of those who march in
the vanguard Of this procession. |
trust that The Times will find the
times answering more and more TO
its hopes and aspirations.
T. p. GORE,
United States Senator.
Lawton, Okla, Oct. 16. 1910.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-19

The Department Of Agriculture has
made itself one OF the most important
OF the activities OF the federal govern
ment. The annual production OF the
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-19
Standard For Others.

Standard FOR Other6.
To the Editor OF The Times
have always admired The Times fol
Its stand on the fake medicine ads
I have often pointed to 1t, as a stan
dard for other papers.
J. II. CARSTENS.
go Woodward-ave.
Detroit, Mich, Oct. IS, 1910.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-19
From Another Point of View
Probably for divas

would we'd Probably for dvas
with wireless However have
- dim o
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-19

seek TO make a fresh complaint
against Guth II he were released.
The police justices referred her to
Prosecuting Attorney Van Zile.
I'm not sure that Guth Will be re-
leased" said the prosecutor. IF he Is.
then IL will be time to take the matter
up with Mrs. Reinhardt."
Guth was a sutton for the young
wcmans hand before her marriage to
George Reinhardt and the stabbing
was done In a At of Jealous rage.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-19
OBSERVATIONS

example what commonwealth should be
but Penrose remains which explains Pennsylvania con-
F--1 The dead. The lives. Long lives the
Republicans nominated man named
'AM Tener for governor The Democrats nominated man
Grimm nom
oGimm) defeat
ed he should receive state job or federal job -.
surroundings still retain grain patriotism put their heads
together They called it the keystone party and
Berr, who
chandelier marble columns received steel and
capitol while the desks actually worth less than 500 EACH These
He might make fair the chances that he would
OF Grimm and Ten hopeless far the common people
semradical Penes preferred candidate would surely win
he strength any good
might that all the and all the Keystone
and chance defeat Pen
Bu refus to get o race
candidate fight will mery and the Pen
ALL riches the and
extreme poverty for the many. for yet awhile
point privilege bespeak in de-
judge
suffering much patient social
lea of meddes who rights that is
! MOTHER years someone discovered
that there was something very funny about moheIsin
-, law and the 'oken'hs have been going to 1T ever since
suffered bringing
girl the her. become the
valley of the shadows this funny mother
childish Ills and when she has been temporary member house
patient OF the good and inspiration
ito all Of you . . 80
kick the Judge and the jokmths
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-19

A woman called at The Times
Office Monday and asked to see the
editor.
This woman is q property owner
in Detroit, pays taxes and is subject
to all the ordinances
One of these ordinances has just
recently compelled her to lay out a
considerable sum of motley upon her
property.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-19

John CahnI, who was q deputy under
ohor10 Jnmes ID. Burns, died Mon
0nt ~ his home In Wyandotte. He
Md ,boon I'll for several months.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-19

Tomorrow-Department Of Com
mercs and Labor.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-19


be
remains
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-19

There you Ward Howe "Te Battle Hymn Of the Repuo
yet he competent to vote
Men told her that her place IN THE HOME, with all other
~mn.
place the home where MEN could come to
and tell MEN had passed certain laws which she had
voice but with which she must be the FIRST COMPLY
early years the freedom Of the slaves the
nth
devoted the freedom Of slaves north east west
south-the among her the ballots OF men,
slavery helpless with redress against the con-
s they themselves other than visit to Newspaper
oGee Just to give the editor ian example"
Julia Ward Howe dead and sadly enough the dawn Of the
~ for whose rising she 20 long had hoped
S This grand dead but force for which her
~ talents powerful ideal patriotism NO little measure
nsb going and will to the last short turn IN the ROAD
h bring weary travellers the OF her sex up to the goa
equal rights equal vowhen will be preserved to the
MOTHERS and the blessings of free country conserved
such sacred holy MORE SURELY TO THE SONS
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-19

a.
she vas told however THE WORK HAD TO BE DONE IN
<rRrAm THE OR THE CITY WOULD DO IT AND COLLECT FROM
<x1R
She didnt o . get her name in the paper
On promise would not print her name
any fact in which she could be identified
She simply give example she said Of how WOMAN
No property compared NAN who owns property
Which example that the MAN whose
pper which property subject the same ordinance
her, yet notice from this department.
has compelled comply penalty Of the city doing the
k making him several weeks have elapsed since the
WOMAN property received her notice and complied
4 simply you know" said this "how fare
BECAUSE WE LACK THE INFLUENCE VOTE looks much
1t way This is election year, You know
While this Detroit Office there lay dead in
Etrpal suffrage
Howe the grand old woman Of America whom
<Sa&h claimed abe believed in a for her SEX
Nn ,aid abe was not competent she died before
eea zee accomplished which she had pleaded with
- Hls and with her pen.
TN HE was author, however, Of lines such these
~ :. =. ;;: :: !. = .: :: ::.:::
~ ~ -. :' sss !: ~. %:,: ssss';
M, n, ss: ::;::; Il. .: e: tn.
I can eadH
Aarin0 amps
marching
have cad q Aery os>Sol n
steel;
eonsnnee
Let the
the
sInce0 . marching on"
has that
shall nsverc l.
RITZ . o Of men be-
Judgment |
Do Hmi
N
marching
"a In the beauty o Christ
bornac he
q n that
A. He o make
die o
u ! .
Julia Ward Howes e Battle Hymn OF the hepuo
naon-and he not competent to vote
Men told her that her place IN THE HONE with oil other
place where MEN could come to
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-19

The Boss is dead. The Boss lives. Long HIVES q
Boss,
This year the Republicans nominated a man nan
Tener for governor The Democrats nominated u
named Grimm.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-19

A floating packet has been invented
for aviators. II will support for days
an aviator who tumbles into the wa
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-19

Cuba is going to build fine palace
for her president
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-19
~ Ward Howe
5 Not Competent
10 vete--So Men Said
0|~ply Competent Enough To Sub
oot>oo 10 Man-Made LAVA
w veman Caller nrinus us
~ An Example,

This perfectly willing do receiving notice from one
fthe city departments
ne v.s told however that THE WORK HAD TO BE DONE
nnRrAm THE OR THE CITY WOULD DO IT AND COLLECT FROM
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-19

AFTER three months tn, village de-
batin' society Amt been able ter solve
tn question o. who's goin' ter pay tn
hall rent"
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-19

Whot beat the bosses in New York
Who used the big stick on the stork
Who pinned the tariff on his fork?
Dear mother, pass the pickles.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-19

Your story has considerable verve
rattle, dash and go. yet II breaks
downs in spots"
Sure. It's an automobile story"
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-19

join the army, where there won't b
any danger Of his getting hurt"
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-19

a privilege In d
O no
chaacter1
social
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-19

A French farmer, who Is suing Avn
ator Farnam, claims that the buzzing
Of the aero-motor frightened away all
the game on his farm.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-19

It requires 100000 houses q year
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-10-19

"Our Woman's club denies that II
discusses matters above tn heads o.
ito members-that 10, exceptin' fall
hats"
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1910-12-27

TO GIVE BIC ACT
GARRICk PROGRAM NEXT WEEK
WILL HAVE ABUNDANCE OF
GOOD MATERIAL.

Manager Powell of the Garrick will
star Pierce & Rosslyn as the leading
feature of his bill for the first part OF
the coming week. They will appear IN
a character singing and quick change
act. One of their best representations
is that of THE Toreadors,' Spanish
type of life which is well and faith
fully portrayed Pierce is the owner OF
a robust tenor voice that renders the
famous Carmen chorus in royal style,
and his fair partners clear, high So
prano rings true and sweet In every
note. The sketch is altogether out OF
the ordinary. and the character
changes are made with dazzling speed.
Sutton & Sutton come on in lively
skit entitled, "The Pumpkin Girl.
This rustic fantasy is cleverly staged
and the Suttons swing it along with
tremendous dash and vim. AS sing
ing, dancing and talking novelty II
stands in a class by itself, and some
original acrobatics added make up
medley Of mad fun that keeps the
spectators on the broad grin from
first to last.
Dick Miller, the comedian and imi-
tator will give several burlesque take
offs on well-known Thespians, and
men in public life Dick Is a genius in
his line, and few entertainers are pos
sessed Of his versatility and talent.
Paul Wagner will do some crafty
slight Of hand tricks. No other jug
gler has succeeded in duplicating Wag-
ner's feats. His deXterity of touch is
wonderful, and savors almost of magic
in it's completeness.
Bicknel and Gibney will head the
bill during the latter half of the week.
They will appear in singing, talking
and piano-playing sketch. The act IS
full of ginger, sparkling with wit, ana
contains a number of pleasant sur
prises in the way of novel stunts. They
are capital vocalists and include In
their budget a number Of rollickiIg
ballads which are sure to make
great hit.
Two Of the cleverest artists that
Germany has yet sent us will be pres
ent in the persons of the world famous
Braminos, who will put on comedy
act entitled THE Lobster and
the Maid
These laughter provoking subjects
of the Kaiser carry along number If
Instruments on which they perform in
heroic style. Extra ordinaTy balancin"
feats, absurd Glowing, and screaming
burlesque are all included in the work
of the BraminOs, whose ripe Teuton'c
humor lends a favor to ANTS never
before seen on the American boards.
The Ortcgos are booked for Buster
Brown acrobatic act, in which they in
dulge in quaint and lofty tumbling.
This turn represents the very acme OF
comic gymnastics, and the clever
makeup of the performers PUTS an in
fantile finish on the proceedings that
is simply irresistible. Bli,t Howard.
the well-known comedian. will be on
hand to greet his admirers. Howard is
the possessor of a funny personality,
and a manner of speech which makes
him favorite wherever he goes.
The mG.ing pictures viii be shown
as usual by the Garrickscope.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1910-12-27
The Arab pIowman.

To see an Arab steering yoke OF
oxen. one hand pressed upon the sin
gle stem of the plow and the other
holding the long. slim goad. is to see
a living Illustration Of how Elisha
looked and ncved When Elijah found
him blowing and cast his cloak upon
him III significant symbolism OF his
destiny. 1t has often been remarked
that. while lmperishable relics OF Ro.
man stonework abound in northern
Africa in the form of bridges. aq''e'
ducts and so forth. he impress left
on the people themselves by the grent-
est sivilizing power that ever existed
is extraordinarily slight. Only In some
such insignificant details as the names
of the months in the kabyle dialect
is the stamp Of Rome still visible. and
in the system Of hiring labor IN the
Tell there survives a custom belong,
ing to the early days of the Roman
Wide World Magazine.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1910-12-27
useful. LIFE IS
BROUGHT T0CLOSE
DEATH REMOVED MRS. w. II. DIM
NIT. A WELL KNOWN PIONEER
OF WAPELLO COUNTY

After an illness continuing since
early in the summer, Mrs. Clara B..
Dimmitt, wife of w. H. Dimmitt,
answered the summons Thursday
afternoon at 8 o'clock at the family
residence near Dahlonega. Death was
relief to her suffering, which she
bore with much fortitude and patience.
The funeral will be held Saturday
afternoon at / o'clock at the residence,
and Rev. T. ]. Pettitt, pastor of the
Epworth Methodist chapel, will con-
duct the services. Interment will be
made in the Ottumwa cemetery.
Mrs. Dimmitt was born in Wapello
county and has lived here all the fifty
one years of her life. She was mar
ried to w. H. Dimmitt. thirty-three
years ago. Besides her husband, one
daughter, Irene, and two sons, Ernest
and Norman and one sister, Mrs. Geo.
Long survive.
The decedent was a life long mem
her of the Methodist faith and she was
devoted to her religious belief. She
aided materially in the erection of the
new Epworth Methodist chapel. To her
husband she was devoted wife, and
her children always found in her an
indulgent mother The sympathy OF
the community in which Mrs. Dimmitt
lived goes out to the family at this
time.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1910-12-27

In connection with his enthusiastic
address Of welcome to the Iowa Sheep
Breeders and Wool Growers associa-
ton, Morris Williams took occasion
to tell the visitors that Iowa, despite
its falling off in population, was all
right. He stated that there is no rea-
son for apology for Iowa's showing in
the census enumeration, and showed
in no mild manner that there Is good
reason to boast. With reference to
Iowa, Mr.. Williams said
"You hard headed men from the
farms know the decline in Iowas rural
population is a matter for Boosting,
| rather than for apology. It is the d.
rect outgrowth of prosperity rather
than poverty. 1t is the mute witness
to the wonderful accretion of the land
values of our state in the past, and
monument to the abiding faith of our
best farmers In the future OF our
growth. Take 1t home to yourselves.
You know why you bought your neigh
boris adjoining 40 or 80 acres. 1t was
because you prospered on the land
you owned. You had seen 1t grow In
price from $40 to $500. You saw no
good reason why this advance should
stop. You had the money with which
to buy out your neighbor and you did
it, believing it profitable invest
ment Your neighbor on his smaller
farm which he had bought for $40 to
$50 five years before, and gone in debt
for half Of it, was too strongly tempted
when he had a chance to get out OF
debt and double his original invest
ment, He sold out and moved to
newer and lower priced lands
"That reduced the rural population
by just that many, but did it lessen
the productiveness of that 40 acres
Did it lessen Iowa's ability to yield
gold dollars? / sumbit it to the wool
growers, the cattle men, the hog
raisers and to all stock farmers of our
state, that the wealth of our soil will
be far better conserved through the
system of rotation made possible by
the larger farms rather than through
the intensive farming made necessary
through the attempt to support large
family on small farm. Iowa does not
differ from a number of other states
of the Mississippi valley In the mat
ter of shrinking population, so far as
the country is concerned. In all OF
them where land values are high, the
great profits that have been realized
from advancing values have prompted
the larger holders to add to their
acreage and of course, in many cases,
has necessitated the removal of the
former owners to cheaper land in
other states. Iowa alone is unfOrt.
innate in the showing as compared
with her sister states, simply because
che hac not a ra nidIv growing Chi
cago St. Louis or Kansas City within
her boundaries to counterfeit this
charging tendency of the farms and
consequent shrinkage in rural popula-
ton, l note recently where one local
apologist suggests that there is a
field now opened up to the wealthy
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1910-12-27
TULIP MADNESS.
The Craze That Ragged IN Holland In
the last Century,

The Craze That Ragged IN Holland In
the Last Century.
During the tulip craze In Holland In
the last century in one year the sales
aggregated 100000 forms Holland
went tulip mad. The bulbs were quot
ed on the Stock Exchange. Ownership
in them was divided into shares. Spec
ulators sold them short. At one time
more tulips were sold than existed. At
Lille brewer sold his trade and good
will in exchange for bulb. which was
thereafter known as the Brewery tu-
lip. In Amsterdam father gave one
by way of dover with his child. There
after the variety was known as the
Marriage Of Ny Daughter. At Kotter-
dam hungry sailor, happening on q
few. mistook them for onions and ate
them. The repast became as famous
rs Cleopatra's pearls and probably e1-
ceeded 1t in cost At The Hague a
poor fellow managed to raise black
tulip. The rumor Of that vegetable
marvel spread. Presently he was VS.
tied by deputation from syndicate.
For that eve lamb of his the deputa-
ton offered 1000 forirs, which he re-
fused. He was offered 10000 forms.
Still he refused. Cascades Of gold
were poured before his resisting eyes.
Finally. tormented and tempted. he
succumbed. There and then the depu-
tation trampled that tulip under their
feet Afterward it appeared that the
syndicate had already grown gem
precisely similar and. unable to bear
the idea that rival existed, had au-
thorized the deputation if needful to
offer ten times the amount which It
M id