davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Springfield herald., 1910-02-25
Dissatisfied Mankind.

IF every fellow who was sick of his
bargain would go out and hunt anoth-
er one," says the Philosopher of Fol-
ly, "there'd either be no sales at all.
or there'd be twice as many"
The Springfield herald., 1910-02-25
Al Eew Years Hence.

Knicker-You look tired.
Bocker-Yes; l was up all night fly.
ing the baby.-Harpers' Bazaar.
The Springfield herald., 1910-02-25
The craveIed Geometer.

Euclid was boasting of his abilities
But cried his wife, "can you fino
why our gas bills are just as big as
when they charged dollar thousand
cubic feet?" :
With moan he sped into the night.
The Springfield herald., 1910-02-25
rhe perverse Ser.

"Hinkley's got wonderful head. All
his woman readers are simply wild
over that serial love story he is run
ming In the Daily Stunt"
How did he clinch 'em?"
"Why, he printed the last chapter
first"
The Springfield herald., 1910-02-25
Real Solomon.

Gunner-sright Judge over in that
police court"
Guyer-What's his latest?"
Gunner-"Family quarrel. Husband
said the cause of the difference was
the fact that his trousers were thread
bare and his wife refused to mend
them"
Guyer-"H'm! What did the wife
say?"
Gunner-"She didn't get the chance
to say anything. The judge told her
to go home and patch up the differ
ence."
The Springfield herald., 1910-02-25
important to Mothers.

Only to find our duty certainly, and
somewhere. somehow, to do 1t faith
fully makes us good. strong, happy,
and useful men.-Phillips Brooks.
The Springfield herald., 1910-02-25

Mrs. Windows Soothing Syrup.
For children teethtn8 softens tho gums reduces IN
dammstion, aliays palm wind collie. 2sc bottle
The Springfield herald., 1910-02-25

ALIENS LUNG BALSAM
4, tho old reiIable cough remedy. Found in everY
drug storo and In practically every home. For sale
by MI druggL sts. DC 6Oc and 1l00 bottles.
The Springfield herald., 1910-02-25

PILES CURED IN g TO IL DAYS.
PAZO OINTMENT Is guaranteed To any case
OF Itching. Blind. Bleeding Protruding Piles N
oto IL day money refunded. 60o
The Springfield herald., 1910-02-25

1t is said that in California when a
guest overstays his welcome, instead
of putting a flea in his ear they put
several in his bed.
The Springfield herald., 1910-02-25

No man can pass into eternity. fol
he is already in it.-Farrar.
The Springfield herald., 1910-02-25

1t is easy to offend people who have
NO use for you.
The Springfield herald., 1910-02-25
She Had Noticed II,

Mrs. Knicker-They say the pur-
chasing power of dollar has dimin-
ished.
Mrs. Bocker-Yes, 1t used to buy a
bargain worth $1.9S, and now it only
gets something worth $1.49.
The Springfield herald., 1910-02-25

If you want to test mans charac
ter watch and see what creates in hin
an enthusiasm.-Angela Dickens.
The Springfield herald., 1910-02-25

IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND ANYTHING
better for sldenchc. backachcs or stitches than
P.rru Darts IninkHier. Get the large size. Tho
cheapcst AtnlI druggists, 25c $50 and Soc bottles.
The Springfield herald., 1910-02-25

"My father has been sufferer from sick
headache for the last twenty five years and
never found any relief until he began
taking your Cascarets. Since he hss
begun taking Csscarets he has never had
the headache. They have entirely cured
him. cascarets do what you recommend
them to do. will give you the privilege
of using his name. .'-E. n. Dickson.
1I2o Resiner St., w. indianapolis, Ind.
Pleasant. Paiatable. Potent. Taste Good.
i0c, 2sc, Soc Never sold Ia bulk. The zen.
ulne tablet stamped &C. Guaranteed to
cure OF your monsy back. rs
The Springfield herald., 1910-02-25

The family tree of bunko man
must be slippery elm.
The Springfield herald., 1910-02-25

When automobile tires give out the
machine has to be retired or retired.
The Springfield herald., 1910-02-25
|NC0mE scMlTH1ae HIYM1NHI New

Liberal low cost Limited Accident
Health Policy issued by strong old line
stock company to men and women, all oc-
cupations, ages 16 to 10. $1,000 policy pays
$15 weekly, ann. cost $500. 81. 900 policy
pays $25 weekly. ann. cost $lO. includ-
Ing pat. Identification pocketbook. En-
Cos and P. MS. everywhere. Agents
Agents wanted. Geo. A. Slough. Genl
Agt., 40 Symes Bldg. Denver. Phone
Main S3SS.
The Springfield herald., 1910-02-25

To CURE COLD III ONE DAY
Drnsg ST. refund money II it fails 10 cure. Is. W
GROS E'S signature is on cacn Dax. 2sc.
The Springfield herald., 1910-02-25

Constip patton causes and asErnyates many serious
dIseKsss, II Is thoroughly cured by Dr. Piercs's
Plea nj Pellets. The favorite family laxative.
The Springfield herald., 1910-02-25

When doctor gets sick he knocks
his own game.
The Springfield herald., 1910-02-25
KNEW HER STYLE.

Suitor-But you haven't asked me
yet whether or not can make iv-
Ing for your daughter.
Father-Never mind, Henry; If you
marry her she'll see to that.
The Springfield herald., 1910-02-25

A dogs bark isn't as bad as his bite.
but it lasts longer.
The Springfield herald., 1910-02-25
Correcr.

Teacher What is an ocean?
Johnny-A body of water necessitat-
ing battleships.-New York Sun.
Connecticut western news., 1910-03-17

Among these is the Order of the Rising Sun presented by the Emperor of Japan 70 Admiral Sperry on his visit to that country with the United States naval vessels on their trip around the world.
 Such little souvenirs as photographs. personal letters, etc., are allowed to be appropriate and acceptable, but the ob- ject of the measure proposed by Senator Root is polite notice to foreign rulers that nothing of intrinsic value or in the nature of title or emolument will be allowed ill the future. As it is now. unless the donor is familiar with this clause in our Constitution, it might be considered by him as a slight not only to himself as ruler, but to his govern ment. The bill, If passed, will also dc away with any tendency of our govern ment officials to neglect their duty fol the sake of receiving one of these royal favors.
Connecticut western news., 1910-03-17
The Woodchuck Got Hungry

A dispatch from Lee, Mass, under date of March 12. says that Dr. H. M, Smiths woodchuck came out yesterday and captured his bottle of milk, apple and crackers. Last summer. Dr. Smith got a .woodchuck, tanned dnd trained him and when fall came turned him into pen in the back yard. MT. Chuck at once dug a hole in the embankment and stored the straw which they gave him away in ihe earth. For time he would come out when called, but Sept. 15 failed to respond. Yesterday nursing bottle filled with milk was placed handy and he at once came out, devoured everything in sight, and while looking a trifie rusty appeared glad he was alive and had friends.
Connecticut western news., 1910-03-17
THURSDAY. MARCH IT. 1910
THE QUICkENlNG

Bare and grim the marshes are,
 Yet one day, and that ere long. Flowers the sombre wastes will star, And the silence pulse with song; Gold will gleam and green will glint Where now glooms an ashen tint. And the sky-ah, how the sky
 Tenderly will overlean- Such softly sapphire dye,
 So ecstatic, so serene Now behold it wanly brood In gray sullenness of mood And there shall be raptures too
 Tn the wind that now makes moan; It will play the gamut through
 Upon pipes of mellow tone; And the waters-glee will run Through their greetings to the sun Haste, o wonder working hour
 We are spent with chill delay; We would leap, had we the power,
 Sheer into the heart of May, Seeing, hearing, feeling all Its communicable thrall
 CLINTON SCoLLARD.
Connecticut western news., 1910-03-17
POLICIN NGsTHE AIR

The question of the legal status of air ships is discussed under the above title in the latest number of Harper's Weekly, more particularly in reference to the pos ition governments will take regarding them in case of war. and during the ten sion of preparation preceding hostillties. As IS natural, France and, Germany are already wideawake regarding airship in- spection of the fortresses and systems of defense on their frontiers, and the re- cent seizure of the American aeronant Mix, who landed on Russian soil during the race for the James Gordon Bennett cup, shows that Russia is also looking out for her interests. Although there is now no law applicable to policing the air ill the American statutes, the writer of the article thinks that the Navy and War departments may, under certain circumstances. ask Congress for law to enable them to tie the hands of possible enemies ill the air, and adds that the government would now undoubtedly take summary action against airships if found lowering above our Notifications or navy yards.
Connecticut western news., 1910-03-17
POINTERS

"The Vails," who have been seen in Canaan before, will be at the Town hall Thursday. Friday and Saturday even. ings of this week. Mir. Vail has two or three new acts and Mrs. Vail will again introduce "The Somniloquist, which proved such an interesting feature of their former entertainment. Their ad- vertisement gives full particulars, and there is no doubt that they will have large audiences each evening.
 Visit Benjamin's auto" show this week; 20 cars ready for delivery and more coming. Everything for owner or driver at Benjamin's.
 The Fuller Hardware Go. in their adv. this week call your attention to Amatite roofing.
 New 1910 spring and summer styles of Queen Quality shoes arc the topic of the adv. of Bullock & Felten in this issue
 Of course everybody wants hot cross buns Good Friday, and Rains is going to be ready to supply them. See his adv.
 You are invited by Holden & Stone, of Pittsfield to write for their Style Cat alogue of Spring and Summer fashions. Description of contents will be found in their adv.
 New spring goods for ladies and gen. tlemen's Easter wear are announced by G. l.. Parsons & Sons in their adv.
 Frank A. Minkler of Great Harrington asserts that his store is the best place in Southern Berkshire to buy bicycles and phonographs.
 The millinery opening of spring and summer hats is announced by Miss Margaret Collins in her adv.
 H. Menger of Great Harrington an- nounces millinery opening in an adv. in this issue.
 The suit and cloak department at K. P. Hunt & Go, 's is now on dress parade. Their adv. enCmerates other speoialties for the season.
 Easland's garage in Great Harrington has an adv. of Bucks and Hupmohiles that should be of interest to prospective auto purchasers.
 Benton & Wright have new spring styles of Oxford ties and pumps. . See their adv.
Connecticut western news., 1910-03-17
SENATOR ROOTS BILL

The resolution introduced in the Sen ate last week by Senator Root, in sub- stance requesting foreign rulers to dis continue the conferring of titles or orders upon anyone in the employ of the United States government, is strictly American and in accord with the Constitution.
 Article I, Section 9, says in the seventh paragraph: No person holding any office of profit or trust under them [the United Statesl shall, without the consent of the Congress, accept of any present, emolument, office, or title of any kind whatever, from any king, prince, or foreign State"
 Something like two hundred of these fHyors have been presented to employees of this government, and Congress has, by the power granted it, allowed the recipients to accept several of them, but there are at the present time ITO in the possession of the government which Congress has either refused to convey to the one upon whom they were conferred, oro on which it las not passed judgment.
Connecticut western news., 1910-03-17

The American people never hesitate long in coining word to represent some- thing that is new, or that has hitherto been nameless. The combined telegraph companies offered, about week ago, a special night service by which they would transmit messages of fifty words for the same rate as for ten words in the daytime. This plan caught on at once, and in order to distinguish the messages from the ones sent in the day, the word "lettergram" was coined, came into lm- mediate use and is here to stay.
Connecticut western news., 1910-03-17
MORE LABOR TROUBLES

In addition to the carmsn's strike in Philadelphia, and the strike of employees against the International Paper com pany, there is strong prospect of gen. .eral walkout of coal miners in the near future. .
 Having failed to agree in open con- ference at their meeting in Cincinnati, the miners and operators have placed Sfae matter in the hands of a committee ofeight from each side. On all questions submitted to the conference the two parties were directly and distinctly op- posed. The operators were against a &ingle concession, and every miner was as firmly against modifying any of the demands made. ..-.
 At the last election for president of the Mine Workers Union, Thomas L. Lewis was elected, but was the object of strong opposition on account of his expressed disapproval of strikes as a means of attaining the demands of the union. Since then he has evidently changed his mind, for in an interview last Saturday he said:
 If it comes to strike, and it will un- less we get an increase, 1 will tie up every bltuminous mine and every hard coal mine in the United States and 8 part of Canada. Instead of the so-called non-union coal of West Virginia and Kentucky coming into the union terri tory in the event of strike, l will tie up those mines also tighter than @ drum"
 If this threat is carried out, it will cause long and expensive struggle. It will come at time of year favorable to she operators, and, in addition it is said that during the three years since the last agreement that the companies have stored immense quantities of coal at ad- vantageous points, from which they can supply their customers for a long period.
 The new element which has entered into the carmen strike may be utilized in this one, if 1t comes. If the miners can get every union that would be in any way likely to have to handle this stored coal, such as the freight handlers, the locomotive firemen, etc, to join their forces in sympathetic strike, no one can foreses the e@tent of the injury that would be done to business.
 There ought. and will be sooner or later, some other way to settle such mat sers as these than by brute force. It may be better for them to come. and, like a thunder shower, clear the atmosphere. But it must be settled sometime, and the rights of the third party, the con- aumer, will receive proper consideration from the other two parties interested in these battles oyer the necessaries of life.
Connecticut western news., 1910-03-17

There are many persistent church goers, but Dewitt O. Baldwin, of Vero- ma, N. J. is probably near the head of the list. His home is one mile from the church and he estimates that in the past fifty y-five years he has gone to it 12,500 times, and in doing so has walked 25, ,00O miles, which is equivalent to a trip around the earth. It would be interest ing to know If MT. Baldwin considers by th1s that he has walked so far towards heaven, or whether he counts the ap- proach to that desired haven by deeds instead of distances.
Connecticut western news., 1910-03-17
Hen Delays the Mail

A dispatch from Wlnsted says that a hen impeded the delivery of mail on the R. F. D. route in New Hartford Tuesday. John Scanlon, rural mail carrier is also janitor of the high school building. Before starting out on his duties for Uncle Sam he stopped his horse in front of the school while he looked after the furnace. Returning to the vehicle, he was surprised to see one of his Plymouth Rock hens in the wagon cackling loudly. Nesting in the mail bags he found fresh egg. Before Scanlon could get into the vehicle the hen flew into the street and the mail carrier had half hours chase before getting his hen back.
Connecticut western news., 1910-03-17
DIED
Primer of Life.

He prayed for fair weather. then he growled because the sunlight was so dazzlingly bright it blinded him. Then rain was his petition. and he growled because he had to climb a hill to keep from drowning. And then the angels whispered: Ut will never do to send a hurricane to blow that man to heav- en, for if we gave him a harp he'd growl because he had to play 1t. A crown would be too heavy for him to carry, and he'd say that honey didn't agree with him and that there was water in the "-Atlanta Constitu- tion.
Connecticut western news., 1910-03-17
PULPIT AND PEW
happenings Of Interest In canasn's Religious Circles
 Pilgrim Church

l
 Religious Circles
 Pilgrim Church
 Rev. E. O. Gillette, Pastor.
 There will be a meeting of the Stand ing Committee at the parsonage this evening at 7:30.
 The theme for the Lenten service to- morrow at three o'clock will be "Our Needs Met Only in Christ"
 On Sunday evening at 7:90 their will be talk on "The Last Days of Christ. {" It will be illustrated with pictures shown by the "mirroscope.
 Wednesday afternoon the Missionary Society met with Miss Norton and the Mission Circle with Miss Fuller.
 Holy week services will be held on Wednesday and Friday afternoon at 8 o'clock and Thursday evening at 7:30 Key. John Calvin Goddard of Salisbury is to deliver the address at the Good Friday service. Rev. E. W. Snow of Winsted and Rev. w. F. Stearns of Norfolk are to speak at the other ser vices.
 Christ Church.
 Rev. Joseph P. Smyth, Rector. Next week being Holy Week, services will be as follows: Sunday, morning ser vice and sermon, 10:45; evening service and address at 2.
 Monday, service and address 3:30 p. m.; Tuesday. service and address, 3:30 D. m.; Wednesday, morning prayer and litany, 10:30 a. m.; Thursday, celebra- tion of the Holy Communion. 10:90a a.m. Good Friday, morning prayer, litany, and address, p. m. Easter Even, ser vice and address, 3:30 D. m.
 On Easter-day, there will be morning prayer, sermon, ana celebration of the Holy Communion, 10:30 a. m. Easter service and missionary offering of the Sunday School, 3:3o p. m. Evening ser. vice and address at 2.
 Tomorrow, morning prayer and itany will be said at 10:30 a. m,
Connecticut western news., 1910-03-17
Death of Warehouse Nash

The death at his home in Martindale, Columbia county, N. Y, last week, of Morehouse Nash, removes a man who had large circle of friends in Canaan and neighboring towns. He was in his roth year, having been born in Hillsdale, June 30, 1840, and received his educa tion there and at Claveraok. He was a great lover of horses and bred many fine ones for racing purposes. He was also the inventor of a Eniment for ami mals and used to make regular trips through this territory, where it had a large sale. Of late years he had devoted himself to the management of his large farm of 600 acres and to the manufac- ture of his liniment. He leaves a widow and four children, one son and three daughters.
Connecticut western news., 1910-03-17

The cold storage men in the West are preparing for another corner in eggs next winter by buying up all they can get at IS to 20 cents dozen. If, when next winter comes, and eggs are scarce, they will sell these at a reasonable profit, no one will find fault, but we shall not be any more ready then than we were the past winter to pay 90 cents a dozen for them as fresh eggs.
Connecticut western news., 1910-03-17
Why Complain?

"Do you know, Mary. that we are spending every cent l earn?"
 Well. I don't see why you should complain. All the other people in our set are spending a good deal more than they earn. Whats the use being so penurious ?"-Exchange.
Connecticut western news., 1910-03-17

The Boston board of health has decided that there is no danger to women from wearing ''rats" in their hair, and that these much condemned articles are not breeding places for disease germs. It is a safe wager that the board doesn't dare to say that they improve a woman s personal appearance.
Connecticut western news., 1910-03-17
BORN

DoTY-At Chatham, March 3, daugh- ter to MT. and Mrs. H. M. Doty.
 MARRIED s-ANDERsoN-At Sharon. Ct., March g, Charles Henry Trambels and Bertha M. J. Anderson, both of Sharon.
 DIED MCGUIRE-At Canaan, March 15, Mar tin Mcclure, aged 77 years. HANCHETT-At Bridgeport, March IA. Charles Hanchett of Huntsville, aged 57 years. BUCKLEY-At Amenia Union, N. Y. March 10, Charles Buckley. DEFoREsT-At Springfield, Mass. Mar 12, Robert DeForest, aged 62 years.
Connecticut western news., 1910-03-17
LOST AND FOUND

LOST-Two hounds one black and tan, one black and white. Reward paid for their return to F. l.. Stanton Canaan, Conn. TEN DOLLARS REWARD will be paid for dark amethyst breast pin, set with bright stones lost at the Cowles place at the time of the fire. Also suitable reward for set of laces. Mrs. Laura $. Richardson, The Wangum, Canaan.
Connecticut western news., 1910-03-17
MISCELLANEOUS

AUCTION-At the residence of the late Frances V. Ad.ln, kast Laauan, oa Tuesday. March 70 Antique Furniture. personal property, house. hold goods, garden rools. lumber.
 NOTI 'E-AH persons are forbidden hunting, fishing. trapping or trcspassing on the prop erty or FreueTck Glllett,,
 ME.L4s .A. GillCt.e,
 Canaan. REAL lsSTATE-Farn.s an1 village property for sale or rent. Farm moItgagsS Lcgot .ated.
 J. C. Ror teAg.., auuaa, Co41l. A. R. pATTFN, CDtic'an of Toriingtop uau., will be at '"ihe ClnIttl r. hCtel thc trt Mon day and Tuesday afternoons of each month. If unalle to cSll send p9s,l GOES ..ta.i .s flee.
Connecticut western news., 1910-03-17

The death of former Senator Thomas o. Platt of New York a few days ago has been the occasion of large number of obituary notices. Nearly every paper in the country has expressed it's opinion of him and his life. Some laud him as statesman, others condemn him as the lowest type of politician. In nearly every case, though, it is agreed that he had one cardinal virtue-he never went back on his friends. This should be placed to his credit. There are many people who prefer a sinner whose word they can trust, than saint whom they have to watch to keep him from forgetting" The chances are that Mr. Platt was as good 8 man as the average, and the fact that he was a trickster in politics will be forgiven by all except those he beat at their own game.
Connecticut western news., 1910-03-17
CE ENT-A-W OR D ADVERTISEMENTS
 MINIMUM CHARGE, 25 CENTS
WANTED

wANTED-A smart, hustltng young man of good character to work in this and nearby towns. Nothing tn s''li. Best reference required. Address, Position, care The Canaan Printing Co.,, Canaan.
 wANTED--A good sized farm in good condition State all particulars and best cash price. Ad- dress D. F, B., care Canaan Printing Co.,, Canaan. wANTED-Good woman to do homework.
 Y. G. Holt, R, F. D., Canaan.
Connecticut western news., 1910-03-17
MILkMEN ARE SATISFIED

The milk producers in neighboring towns are still discussing and crltlcising the Borden letter. which was recently published in THE NEWS as we'll as in other towns Ill this vicinity and in New York state. The articles written by some of the farmers in other towns who are interested in the price paid them for their milk, and the small profits of the Bordens as shown by their letter ,are very interesting and in some cases quite warm The milkmen of this vicinity, however, seem to be very well satisfied with things as they are. At least we judge so by their actions, as no. one has responded to the invitation extended at the time the letter was published, to ex- press their views on the matter. This is we'll It is rare thing these days to find anyone who is satisfied with the price they are getting for their labor.
Connecticut western news., 1910-03-17

FOR RENT-3 nearly new s room cottages with running spring water in each, either furnished unfurnished: good garden and lawn with each house. Also new carriage house with stalls which may be used with anyone of these houses. Smith Sons, West Cornwall.
Connecticut western news., 1910-03-17

TO RENT-stores in busy Mierton, N Y. Up to-date building just completed Large plate glass fronts; best location fin town. opposite depot. For particulars correspond with l. Gordman, Milerton. N. Y.
Connecticut western news., 1910-03-17

MULES-we have a car load of Missouri mules weighing from 1000 to 1s10 lbs. All ip good con dition and ready for use. For information write or telephone Ackley, Hatch X Marsh, New Milford, Conn.
Connecticut western news., 1910-03-17
TO LET

TO RENT-New and convenient house for small
 family of grown people. Mrs. Augusta Scott.