davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1910-04-03
DemnndIng an lmpossible.

Two old settlers sat smoking in their
cabin, far way in the backwoods. No
woman's hand had ever desecrated that
sanctum, and CRIME reigned supreme and
triumphant. The conversation veered round
from state politics to cooking.
''Yaas,' said the elder OF the two, with
a drawl: Il did get one o. them there cook
books wunst, but 1 could never do nothin'
with it,
How was that?' inquired the other.
What was the hitch p"
WAL" was the answer, every one O.
them receits begun in the same way with
the same words. Every one Of EN- started
off with, take a clean dIsh'-and l never
got no further
And he slowly replaced his old black clay
pipe in his mouth and fell to Illuminating
sadly on the narrow outlook Of the world
OF human beings as displayed by authors OF
cookery books.-Dundee Advertiser.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-04-03
Pnftlnn It CIenrIr.

Lord Hardwioke spent ten of his early
years in America engaged in mining eng
neering. AS a fact. he knows almost every
inch Of ground In that continent,
OF these days his lordship tells a delight
full yarn OF how he once CHANGED upon a
resident OF a sleepy hamlet down south.
Are you a native OF this placer" asked
Lord Hardwlcke, striking up a CONVERSE
ton.
Am l what2' exclaimed the other
languidly.
The question was repeated.
What's that?"
"Nauve-native OF this placer
At this moment there appeared at the
open door Of the cabin the mans wife,
Closely surveying Lord Hardwicke, she
observed: Amt you Sot no sense, Bill?
He means was you Twin here when you
was born, or was you born before you was
Twin here9 Now tell Hmm. a, p.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-04-03

"O'ei' All the farmers were there and ali
the village children. / was asked to make
a speech. Now said l. with the usual
apologize manner, 1t is not fair 10
you for the POSTMASTER to ask me to
speak l am notorious as the worst public
speaker in the state of New York. NV
reputation extends from one end OF the
state to the other, l have no rival what
ever when It comes l was interrupted
by a lanky ill-clad Individual, who had
STUCK too close TO the beer pitcher.
Gentlemen said he, I take 'ception 10
what this here man says. He amt the
worst public speaker in the state. 7 am
You all know 1t, an l want It made a mat
ter OF record that I took 'oeption,' Well
my friend saiy I, suppose we leave It TO
guests You sit down while l say nv
piece and then I'll sit down and let Won
give a demonstration The fellow agreed
ana went on. 1 hadn't gone FAR when he
sot up again IS all right said he, you
win; needn't go no further. Cleveland
Leader.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-04-03

of The fish and en,ree, and finally
reached a delicious salad. Adam paused,
and with a worried look on his face he
demanded Of Eve where she found the in
gradients. She enumerated all except the
lettuce.
Where did you get those leaves?' he
handed.
why, they were lying on a bush in the
back yard she replied sweetly.
Wei, those were my best Sunday
trousers sobbed Adam, adding, All, woe
is man. which was corrupted into woman,
the term by which we know Ewes daugh-
ters. "-NeWark Star.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-04-03

Senator Ben Conger," said an Albany
lawyer. was p~raising the other day the
change for the better that had come over
politics.
Changes" he said smiling, always
occurred with the passage OF time, but too
often they We're changes for the worse.
He instanced the case Of a Groton lad.
This lad, from New York, where he
was working, sent word to his father that
he wanted to get married. But his father
sent word back that he was too young to
marry, He must wait a year. II, however,
he was still OF the same mind at the years
end, he might then marry and welcome,
and the old man would furnish the house.
"Ah the years end the son came back
home to Groton.
- guess III get married now, father
he said.
You don't really, after a whole year,
want to marry the old man shouted.
Yes, l do. l certainly do was the
obstinate reply.
Wei, marry you shall, then, and I'll
furnish the house, said the old man. Son
I'm proud of you. didn't believe such
constancy existed
Thanks, father said the youth. But
I forgot to tell you hat 1t isn't the same
girl '-Roehester Herald.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-04-03
standard Crowded out.

These people have crowded the Standard
Oil company cut of their market. II tried
to come in and asked the governments
permission to build it's own tanks at the
mouth of the river. This was refused,
and as a result our oil must be shipped
here in tin cases, This makes 1t too costly
in competition with the native product, and
1t cannot inaugurate the machinery Of dis
trlbution such as It has In other parts Of
the far east. All along the west coast Of
the Pacific the storage tanks of the Stand
ard Oil company are to be seen. They are
among the big features Of every large port,
and connected with them are great fac
tories where tin cans are made and the
petroleum is put up for shipment over the
country. The oil is pumped into tank
steamers at San Francisco and pumped out
into tanks which hold tens Of thousands
OF barrels at Shanghai, Tientsln and even
at Hankow on the Yangtse Kiang, the lat
ter port being 600 miles in the interior Of
China.
Here on the Irawadl there are similsr
tanks, but they belong to the British and
are the property of the Burma Oil COM
pany. / can see at least two score or 80
from where l am writing. Each tank will
hold 100000 gallons OF oil, and altogether
they contain a supply which could furnish
one gallon to every man, woman and child
in the United States and leave some to
spare.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-04-03
A Big Conyr,ct.

winston Churchill, the novelist. descr,bsd
at a dinner in New York the difssrenoa
between -romanticism and realism in H.
ton;
7 make my meaning clearer he
ended Il will take the case OF q voung
man and girl-sweethearts. The voune
man a romantioist said passionately to
the girl. ~
Earring II shall be my life's one
purpose TO surround you with every com
iort' and to anticipate and grant your
every wish
me girl a realLst smiled family as
she answered;
Oh Jack how good OF you; and all on
~ a week, too. Success.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-04-03
BOD IndiaR MonopolT.

Burma has the third largest oil trust of
the world. The Standard comes first, then
Russia, and after that Burma. The output
OF the m company ia now about
16O,O 600 gallons per annum and It sells
for something like 3SO,OOO,oOo,
This is only o~ne-eightieth OF the output
OF the Standard. and the value equals only
one-thirtieth that OF the United States
product. The oil business here, however,
Gs far as modern methods are concerned,
Is only in It's infancy. and the possibilities
are enormous II is just twenty-three
years since the first oil wells were drilled,
although the people had been using oil
Eathered In other ways for a generation
before. 1t was along hack In 1887 that the
American system OF getting oil was intro
dueed. and now the fields are spotted with
derricks. Americans have been brought
and seventy such men are now employed
at S. per day.
In the earlier stages OF the drilling the
oil was found at a depth OF 800 feet. but
recent wells have gone down several thou
sand feet, and many of those now produe-
ing are 1000 or 1000 feet deep, There are
but few flowing wells and the average
capacity Is far under that OF the United
states. We nave many wells which yield
100 and more barrels daily. The average
wei IN Burma yields about fourteen bar
rels, and many less.
since the beginning OF the drilling the
production has steadily increased. In 1880
n was only 100000 gallons. Eight years
later A. was 2O.O00,O OO. and IN 1900 IL rose 10
The following year the output
was s0OOO.OOO more, and In 1905 the OIL
raised appropriated lBo,OO0OOO gallons. oil
A. now FOUND on the Islands off the coast
of This country and new fields are being
discovered IN the hills OF the interior. So
FAR the most OF the product comes nom
two paraIlel rayines. the wells being u
along the cliffs on both sides and In the
space between. The most Of the OIL seems
40 lie below the margins OF the ravines-
,. EtSrs or Trust.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-04-03
The Troubles OF Adam.

Rev. DR., Charles Townsend OF Orange
was one OF the speakers at the Park Pres
byterlan Church Mems club banquet re-
Gently and told this story Of one OF the
troubles OF the original ancestor:
Adam had eaten the elaborate repast
furnished by his ~helpmeet with every in
dioation that he relished every morsel.
He complimented her upon the dainty
manner in which the bluepoints were
served. the flavor Of the PURGE OF pea, the
Omaha daily bee., 1910-04-03

Next to coal oil. the biggect monopoly
in Burma is in rubles. This country pro
duces the minest OF such stones and fur
nishes the most of the worlds supply. The
Industry Is in the hands of the Burma
Ruby Mines company, which Is operating
in the Mogak valley. about ninety miles
from Mandelay. There is a region there
1000 feet above the sea, covering from
fifty to 100 square miles, which has pro-
duced more and better rubles than any
other place upon earth. At times It yields
as much as s5OO,O0 worth of rubies a
year, and about ten years ago a single
stone was found, Weighing seventy-seven
carats, which sold for more than 800, 900.
The fine ruby Is more valuable tina a
diamond of the same weight. 1t Is estimated
that one the color of pigeons blood, weigh
ing five carats, will sell for ten times the
value OF a five-carat diamond, and that
the price will increase with the size. A
ruby which weighed eleven carts was re-
Gently sold in England for $4,000, whereas
a diamond that size would not bring more
than 5000. The largest ruby known is ono
than come from Tibet. 1t weighed 1000
carats, but it was not OF the first quality.
Some of the best stones OF this kind are
owned by native Indian rajahs, who con-
slider them among the most beautiful OF
Jewels.
The demand for rubies is greatly affected
by the times. The panic OF 1907 caused a
slump in the market. All sorts of precious
stones went down and for months the
London demand for Burman rubies entirely
ceased. The company then curtailed its
production by stopping night work. and it
cut the wages OF the men from so to "a
cents a day. In 1908 no dividends were de-
clared. The times are now better and all
the mines are again working.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-04-03
Burma's OIL Fleet.

The Burma oil company has its W
fleet az tank steamers. These have a ca
pacity OF 10000 gallons each, and are In
tended for shipping petroleum to other Paris
OF the world, II has also oil barges Of
100000 gallons each for bringing the crude
petroleum down the Irswadi from the ma
tive oil fields up country. These are sit
uated about go miles in the interior, and
pipe lines are now being laid from them to
SYRIAN. The pipes are already as far as
Rangoon, and within a few months Jney
will be running into the refineries here.
Al first the pipes were laid on the surface
Of the ground, but they were affected by
the changes OF temperature, and are now
being buried.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-04-03

more modestly than the man in the blue
uniform.
Who are you ?" wal asked the director.
Armour Ia my name" he answered.
The conductor and director were both ex-
cused.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-04-03
Cooling Off a Prise winner.

Another sample of the late DIT. William
Everett's caustic repartee:
II always experienced a sense of deep
obligation TO you whenever l meet you or
hear Of YOU" said George Babbiut. to Dr..
Everett one morning when they found
themselves pacing the deck OF an ocean
steamer together.
why so? piped the doctor,
Because" said Mr.. Rabbit, Il recall
that l was once so fortunate as to win tho
Boylston prize for oratory at Harvard, and
you were chairman OF the board Of judges. %
Il remember Il perfectly we'll" rejoined
the brusque doctor. The judges were five
in number, At the conclusion Of the speak
ing we retired to consider the merits OF
the constetants. II was moved that you be
awarded a first prize. On the motion the
vote was three 20 two In you favor. / was
one OF the two."-Boston Transcripts.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-04-03
A Tragedy OF whIskers.

simeon Ford. New York's after-dinner
speaker. said the other day, apropos OF
whiskers:
Il have shaved off my whiskers and II
makes me look younger. People now eye
me more a~ppreeiAuvely than they used to
Omaha daily bee., 1910-04-03
Burma's OH RennerIea.

The Burmese Oil company has to pay a
royalty to the government, but Il Is largely
protected by the administration and there
is little a for outside competition. The
Omaha daily bee., 1910-04-03
Remarkable shrinLsr..

= good story OF a specimen OF the ordi-
mary theatrical landlady is told by ]. L.
SHINE One Saturday evening he had a
Fellow actor purchased a pound OF sau-
ssses for their Sundays breakfast. There
were eight to the pound, but when they
arrived at ths table there were only five.
Ihereupon the landlady was called in to
account for the missing links.
Madam" said Mr.. shine severely. 'I
gave you eight sausagOs last night; here
are only five, h has become OF the
other threeg'
The lady OF the house smiled an inno-
cent smile mingled with pity. and replied:
We'll, you seq sir. sausages always
Omaha daily bee., 1910-04-03
Won the Medal.

SSEMBLYMAN John C. Hackett
of New York recently told this
story in a speech:
Il was up in Rockland county
last summer and there was a
banquet given at q nnntr
Omaha daily bee., 1910-04-03
THE LABOR OF THE OIL
Mills IS EAST INDIAN@
DNSgSNssN

quadrupled in the last year or so. The
whole country is now being prospected.
with a view to finding now oil territory.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-04-03
Wax Candles, for Buddha.

In the meantime, the residue is carried
from boiler to boiler, until the oil has been
won. A part Of what is left is turned into
wax, and in the end there is a product
which is made into a coke superior to that
from coal. The wax is used chiefly TOR
candles, which are made here in great
quantities, to be used in the worship Of
Buddha. Any one who can burn a candle
before a shrine acquires merit, and the
bigger the candle the greater the merit.
For this reason, the candles are OF all
sizes, from wax matches to great, round.
tapering cylinders six and a half feet tall
and as thick as an elephants leg. Such a
candle brings about $40, or 30 rupees. 1t
will burn fifteen hours, and il consumed
Omaha daily bee., 1910-04-03
Among the Miners

understand that many Of those families
are still taking out oil as their f~orefathers
Omaha daily bee., 1910-04-03

do shrink in cooking" Which Information
had to suffice.-Dundee Advertiser.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-04-03

EDWIN RInOlQ mas Chlieu lnt llBuA vi N"'
continent. In this awakening OF Asia in
the twentieth century they want a ma
terlel rather than a spiritual light, and for
that they are looking to Syrian. The place
lies on the Iramadi between Hangoon and
the sea and II Is the site Of the refinerles
OF the Burma Oil company.
At present the oil trusts OF the world
arc fighting for Asia. our Standard OIL
company has practically monopo!ized
japan, Korea and a large part Of China.
It has It's stations on every river and its
agents in every large city, The Russian
petroleum companies are furnishing the
illumination for Siberia and the lands east
and south Of the Caspian sea, while the
Dutch East Indies, Siam and a large part
OF China are supplied by the oil fields OF
Sumatra and Borneo. Down here in Burma
the people are using oil from the wells
along the Irawadi river. They have mo-
nopollzed Burma, and are pushing their
trade among the millions of India.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-04-03
&As9pNN4

to my photographing the refineries, d.
though he allowed me to take snapshots OF
the laborers and the scenes outside the
plant.
l shall not attempt to describe the pro-
cesses, except to say that enormous fur
nsces are kept hot with oil fires and that
the boilers above them have pipes to catch
the vapor as the oil boils, Refining
petroleum is much like dlstilllng whisky.
The crude oil is heated to a vapor which
flows off into the cold pipes. AS It strikes
them this condenses and runs off as pure oil.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-04-03
Machinery and Labor.

,finer1es, d. at q shrine will add much to ones chance
snapshots OF Of reaching Nirvana.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-04-03
CCopyright, 1910, by Frank @. ~Carpenter)

'RIAM, Burma, 1910. 90 Especial
Correspondence Of The Bee.)-
SYRIAN promises to become the
real light Of Asia. The Bur
mans are Buddhists and they
worship the prophet whom
Omaha daily bee., 1910-04-03

WORLDS first OH Trust.
h, b stpange TO md that the first oil
Omaha daily bee., 1910-04-03
Light of Asia" Just Now is the Burmese Rival of the Standard Oil

T0SKRaiE
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1910-12-20
Holiday Stationery

Congress Initial Playing
Cards. with gilt edges, all letters,
SOC package.
"Thc Mountain That Was
Cod" by John II Williams, Soc.
Sl0O and $50.
Decorated Book and Magazine
Covers. $50 and $500
Red Christmas Bells, made
from Dcnnison's imported tissue
paper. & inches long. i0c.
Holly Caflands. a. Dennison's
imported tissue paper. Sc.
old English Letters. stamped
on correspondence paper 2sc
quire gold OF silver. 3sc qu'rc.
Christmas Seals. Tags. Cards
and Suekers. Zoe package
Eaton. Crane and Pike Core
spondence Paper in New Shades.
The colors include pleasant
brown. parrot blue and Mad
cleinc violet. with gold. bcvcled
or French borders, 1sc, SloO.
SIPS and 81 so.
--Fgua Fiess
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1910-12-20
CHICAGO MAN
CHARGED WITH
LAND FRAUDS

BOISE. Ida. Dec. 20 Charged
with selling valuable Idaho land
twice. and thereby grnudulently Sc.
curing between 100000 and s400..
Geo. Eugene Stewart, a prominent
attorney Of Chicago, has been ar.
rested Ia that city and viii be re.
turned 20 Caldwell. Canyon county.
Idaho. as soon as the legal battle
over bis exfradition Is fought out.
Sheriff r NJ Breashears OF Can
yon county is now In Chicago with
rcquisitiOn papers. Stewart Is al.
legged 70 have operated quite ex.
tensively IN southwestern Idaho.
particularly Canyon county As
counsel for John Young. q real
estate dealer and a relative. Stew.
art Is charged with pooling lands.
which he later disposed OF. giving
alleged title 60 two parties. after
which he went TO Chicago
Stewart declared that the charges
were false. and we're preferred for
the purpose ~ harassIng him be-
cause Of land litigation with which
he Is connected in Canyon county
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1910-12-20
PRESS CLUB TO CELEBRATE

It's secret Don't tell II 20 any.
one The Press Club Is going 20
have a Christmas tree with lots OF
surprises and good things. the for
mer especially The annual Christ
mas high jlnks. bohemian style.
wili begin az i2 o'clock Saturday
night The Press Club will keep
open house from ? 70 o'clock ON
January 2. when the friends ii
members are invited % call
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1910-12-20
NeU Arrivals in
Christmas Handkerchiefs

Mems Linen initiated Handkcrchieis, neatly
hemsiitched, with well-cmbrodcrcd letters, 25c
each
Womens initiated Handkerehiefs, with embroid-
cred butterfly design nelosing initial also in dainty
floral effects, 2sc each
Womcns Hand-embTodered initiated Linen
Handkcrchieis. with hand-drawn hemstitched Dor
ders SOC each.
Womens Irish Linen Handkerchief in all
around embroidered effects Csc and Csc each.
Womens A-ncn Armenian lace-edgcd Hand
kerchefs, Csc 81 90 and SIPS 10 $50 each includ-
INK some with hand-drawn corners
Womens French Embroidered Linen Handkcr-
chiefs in pretty cyelet effects 3sc each for 81 90
At soc each arc offered fully fifty new styles in
Women's All-linen Handkerchieis. in one-eorncr
embroidered effects. -rr.t r1.s,
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1910-12-20
Al the orphsum.


Bonita. the statuesqBe. and her
tiny husband. Lew Hearu. we're the
best presents John w Cousidine
could find 10 fili seattle's Christ.
mas stocking this year
As a whole the bin didn't stack
MP as one 10 set Seattle dancing hap.
PLY around the fireside, and hur.
raging for Santa Claus.
B0nita's songs. her speeches and
her manners were identical. lice for
iine and smile for smile, with what
she presented In Wine. Woman
and Sons" last summer At that.
the audience liked her to the extent
OF four curtain calls. the last bring
ing a Thank .youone-a nd-ali" from
the lady.
Elise. Wulff and Waldorf DISCUS
ed gymnastlc tricks behind foot
ball atmosphere The gymnastic
stunts were all right
The program probably rightly
calls Lavlnia Dewitt the world :
greatest lady cornetist." Lavinia's
singing Is good. too.
Charles b. Lawior and his daugh.
ters, Mabel and Alice. have a bunch
Of costume changes and songs u.
lustrating night and day on the
sidewalks Of New York" Not q
world beafer
Mona Ryan and her company Of
three give a Victor Smalley playlet.
"Haudeuffed. Miss Ryan didn't re-.
alize an the possibilities Of the PLAY
The BoWmans Blue Grass Boys
act was a coon comedian act in
which one Bowman turns from
white 10 black on the rstage-with
the help OF the makeup. Their turn
was funny and got over all right
The HanIon Just Phor Plum
partly In pantomfme. was unusual
and We'd with the headllners in
receiving the applause.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1910-12-20

made her presents Of jewelry and
clothes worth $500 Then Esther
changed her mind about marrying
Fred. and broke OF the engagement.
but refused 20 return the gifts After
a few preliminary negotiations they
decided 10 arhitrate. each choosing
one member OF the arbitration
board. The members 30 chosen
picked a third The arlbtrafors we're
a lawyer. a rabbi. and a ieweier. all
capable OF judging the eccentricities
Of Cupid on account Of their profess.
slons Skral was awarded the re-
turn ~ all his presents.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1910-12-20
s+s+s+s.s.s*ssss

Judge Brown yesterday fined Mrs
Ethel Sirobel. sister IN Lac % Chaa
Lyts. recently acquitted 90 the muir
der Of his Nlfe. the sum of s. Aud
costs for attacking Aits Irene Lyta.
a daughter o. Lyta and the drcrAA.
"a. Ia the corridor q the court
house last week
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1910-12-20
ARMY OFFICER BELIEVES
COAST DEFENsEs PooA

SACRAMENTO. Cal, Dec 20.-It
is the belief Of Adit Gen. J. y.
Lauck that the Pacific coast rs
woefully lacking 10 military protec.
ton, and that there is little 10 pre-
vent transports landing troops at
viii along the Western coast
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1910-12-20
ANOTHER MURDER
SUSPECT CAUGHT

olathe. Allen admitted that be was
in the vicinity of the BernhaFdt
farm the day before the murder
was discovered. but he denies any
knowledge Of the murder A watch
has been found on his person close
Is resembling one known To have
been carried by George Bernhard