Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-07-12

fected by them. After one has met
with a serious accident or has been
operated upon by surgeon the senses
are deadened; then comes the begin
ming of pain. 1t was so with me.
When l became myself my surround
ings were painful to me. Some per
sons similarly situated nurse their grief
by living i'll such surroundings. ! long
ed to get away from them. Friends
advised me to seek recovery in the
many new scenes and interesting OBJ
jeCts that are TO be found abroad. l
took their advice. I sailed for Europe,
leaving the place where l had been so
happy in the hands of an agent for
sale. One thing l was resolved upon
never TO return to it.
1t may be considered that my stO-
" IS one OF coincidence. 1t is more
than that 1t is an illustration Of the
very different conditions that may oc-
eur in the life of single person. Mas
tiers Of romance have maintained that
there should not be in song or story
but one love. PlaywriChtS never bring
a second on to the stage. They por-
tray rather romance than real life and
DO not give all that real life needs.
They are of the same order as the peO-
pie of India who believe that the wife
should die on the funeral pyre of her
husband.
l may be weaker than some women
or l may be stronger. Possibly l may
have less depth of feeling. though that
will not admit. saw only in nursing
my grief a dreadful life before me.
recognized the principle that no two
absorbing ideas can occupy the brain
at one time l did all that l could TO
interest myself in what was about me
True, l did not at first succeed. and
when l did only partially so. l dread
ed the word forget and yet / realized
that TO avoid suffering l must tempo
rarily forget. I forced myself TO feel
that after time | would he reunited
with my loved ones and that mean
while l must. except occasionally, put
them out of my mind.
l made my home abroad Three
years after my bereavement | married
again. l did 50 partly because l was
lonely. partly because l wished for
man to rely upon. as is natural to any
woman. partly because the man l mar
ried assured me that l could give him
an interest in life and lastly because I
became attached 10 him. He was an
American. like myself. and being
wealthy. gave himself up to study.
He lived abroad that he might write
books which required his presence
among the subjects of which he wrote
For five years after our marriage we
continued our residence abroad. Dur
ing this period children were born to
us. There was a tacit mutual agree
ment between us that l should not talk
about the world in which l had lived.
1 saw that lie would rather leave that
to me, considering himself as having no
part in it, and / had no desire TO make
him a part of it. He was absorbed
in his literary work. and if 1 ever told
him even where l had lived he soon,
forgot il.
Then he was called to America on
the matter of some property that need
ed his attention. 1t was agreed be-
tween us that he should leave me and
our children in Lucerne. where we
were then living. He expected to be
absent not more than two months, but
soon after his arrival in America he
was induced TO write for a publisher
a work necessitating his presence in
America. He suggested my coming
home with the children. but left me
to consult my own feelings in the
matter.
] had never intended to return to the
United States, dreading lest It would
reawaken me to my lost world. But
with a husband and children that
world had receded further and further
from me till the consciousness of it
had grown very dim. I wrote my hus-
band that 7 would go back to the
western hemisphere and remain there.
I was tired of moving about from one
place to another and the children were
coming TO that age when they should
have steady instruction at school. Our
boys l preferred 70 bring up in Amer
lea. I therefore suggested 10 my hus-
band that he buy a place in which we
might settle. He replied that he agreed
with me and would carry out my sug
gestions. Later he wrote me that he
had bought a place in the suburbs of
the city wherein it would be necessary
for him TO do his work