davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-07-07
wANTED-ro KEwr.

WANTED-To rent a cabin or a small
house at or near lake or river for 8
or 4 months. Address c. D., care Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-07-07

FOR RENT-Modern. room house. 2
Clay, SOS. Phones 617.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-07-07

7 ROOM modern house, like new. 10.
jackson. Inquire at 1017 Jackson.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-07-07

FOR RENT room cottage, ga Fillmore
Well. cistern, gas for light and heat
GOOD yard and porch. $500 If taken al
once inquire GIG Fillmore Ind phone
2650 blue.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-07-07

FOR RENT room cottage. ia Tyler $
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-07-07

FOE RENTS room modern apartment
81 Fillmore. Ind. 2530 Black
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-07-07

In a small town the object of awe
is the person who has actually travel
ed in Europe" "a
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-07-07
prrrTrRF FRAMING

FRAMING, -egilding. mat making. mount
ing done by ). D. Sullivan. 12a W. Eight
street Packing. shipping. etc.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-07-07

FOR RENT-610 West 18th, 6 room house
part modern. Inquire brick house.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-07-07

FOR RENT-1s16 West 5th ST.. 5 rooms
modern except heat; 81. H. Macferran
Phone 526.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-07-07

FOR RENT room modern house. Ind
phone 25SS Black. 49,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-07-07

MTSrFTTAANFOUS.
WALLPAPER, PAPERHANGING AND
HOUSEPA1NTING- MCGEE S2S Kan Ave
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-07-07
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..

WANTED-Veal calves, fat cattle, poul-
try. H. NJ. Bush. Ind. 1865. Bell 435.
WE PAY the highest cash price tor cest
Drop us a card or call Gordon Bros loan
office 405 Kansas ave. Ind 109
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20
An lrish arand Prix.

There was once an Irish Grand Prix.
The horse that lowered the French
colors was the property of an eccen-
trio Irishman named Connolly and was
a big, bony roam, not much to look at
in-the way of horseflesh, so it was a
great surprise to everybody but his
owner when he came in first. His
previous record at the English Derby
the preceding year had not been bril-
liant enough for anybody to lay any
large bets on him, with the sole excep-
ton of Connolly himself, whose faith in
his entry was 81 great that he mort
gagged his lands and put every cent on
the horse. Up to the very end Of the
ace everybody looked on Connolly as a
ruined man, but when the roam shot
first under the wire he not only carried
the British colors to victory, but won
a great fortune for his master. This
happened In the time of Napoleon III,
and Connolly was SO proud of his tri-
umph that he insisted On walking
ahead of the emperor and suppress,
cheering and waving his hat.-New
York Press.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20
OFFICE HOURS
subscribe for the NEWS.
r,.et Footed Possmen Of Venice.

fEEk u y
Probably the letter carriers in Venice
are the most ingenious In the world
They know how to dodge every water
way. turning up on their routes with
4 precise regularity that eonyinces you
they have mapped every scrap OF the
damp city's dry land on their brains.
If Won 90 to your destination by gon7
dola they can beat you thereto by a
good bit of time. What they know
about canals has been applied BY them
to navigation on land, and they know
every tiny street In the city.
OF course there are postofnce gon
solas, too, gay yellow things that quite
~outcoior the yellow sunlight. and any
tsay you happen over the bridge Of thu
Rialto 0 will see them all fastened
to their red and gold poles just under
| meath the old palatial Fondaco dc
kPedeschi, which centuries g by de
cree of the Venetian senate two ia
NOUS architects OF early days, Girols
mo Tedesco and Giorgio spayentt
built for the use of the many Germa'
merchants then living In Venice (somt
where about the year I5o5).-Trays
Magazine.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20
We, the People.

The phrase 1--WE. the people of the
United States" In the preamble Of the
constitution read In the first draft OF
the constitution as follows: 1--WE, the
people Of New Hampshire, Massachu-
sets, Rhode Island, Connecticut, New
York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Del
aware. Maryland. Virginia. North Car
DINA, South Carolina and Georgia. do
ordafn, declare and establish etc.
Though unanimously adopted by the
convention, the wording had to be
changed to "We, the people," simply
because the constitution, which had
not as yet been ratified. was to go into
effect when ratified by nine states
and. not knowing which states were
to ratify, the naming Of the states
was. of course, out Of the question
New York American.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20
eensral Markets.

BIJTTER = Steady for fancyi other
grades weak; receipts. 1861 packages;
creamery. specials. per H.. a2e.; extras,
gO1hc.. thirds to irsts, 24a2Sc,; state dairy.
finest, 29e.; common to prime, 23aSe.:
process, specials, &c; econds to extras,
a3a26Me.; factory, June make. 23a2c.; cur
rent make. ~22a23c.; imitation creamery.
Aa25c.
CHEEsE-Barely steady; receipts. 2.ois
boxes: state, whole milk, specials, 16Aa
lis%c.; average fancy, small. white, 14Ac.;
large, white. 14Ac.; small, colored, 49,;
large, colored, be; choice, i4Aal45so.;
good to prime, 1a&a14c. common to fair,
I0Aa131hc.; skins, specials, 12&c.: aver
age fancy. f1Aa11%c.; fine, 10Aa10%c.; fair
to good. 7AasAc.: common, 4%a6&c.; full
skins, 2a4c.
! EGGS Weak receipts. 1000 cases:
state. Pennsylvania and nearby, hennery,
white. s4a42c.; gathered. white. 3sa3se. +;
Lhennery, brown, 34a35c.; gathered brown.
asaSso,i fresh gathered extra firsts, 2sa
s0c. arsts, 2sas7c.; seconds, 24aBcs
MEATSELive veal calves, common &c
choice, per 100 lbs, S.b0al1; culis. SAT-
live calves, grassers, $Ab0a5: country
dressed veal calves, prime, per To-, la
sEf4Ac.. common to good, 9a13Ac.; barnyart
and grasser calves, 6a7c.
DRESSED POULTRY-Dull and lower
fresh killed turkeys, western, spring, pc
III. zoazso.; old. 1Sazzc.; nrciiers. Phiiadei
uhta SQUAD, per pair. 40a50c. 8 TO 4 lbs. Il
pair, per ID, Ga24c.; Pennsylvania. 3 to
lbs. to pair, per H., lsa2oc.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20
No R-epentance.

.sShe married In haste and repented
at leisure. didn't sheg,.
ashe hasn't repented any that /
know Of"
.But she is diyorcedTs
aYe0- hut she gets $500 a month
aIinaong.-Houston Post
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20
FIRE ALARM x

FIRE ALARM BOXES
Copper
and sherlaan sts.
,6-High and lewis SITS.
Ave. and Paterson St.
and First SITS.
ss-New Brunswiek Ave and New st.
37-State and Smith SITS.
ss-Buckingham Ave. and Hartford st.
a5-Commercs and Tront s. Els
aS-High and Washington, SITS.
a4-state st. and Buckingham Ave.
ss-Hall Ave. and Charles st.
S7-State and Wayne SITS.
5s-Near United Lea Works.
and tombstone SITS.
sS-Washington and First Sts.
ssANew Brunswick ana Elm ST.
s4- -som1as St; and and W gtats sts ave
72-Front and Smith SITS
7s-Water and Gordon SITS
74-Kearney Ave. and Gordon st.
s2-Smith and Herbert SITS.
S3-Amboy Ave. and Washington 81
sg-Lehigh Ave, and Stanford st.
s5-Near City Hospital.
86-Cleveland nj Bras AYES.
8T-Amboy and Hall Aves.
o2-Han Ave. and Insiee st.
To send in ar alarm open h door o
the box, and pull down the lever oNCh
ONLY, and let go. Stay at box unit
lremen arrive.
Special Calls.
1 tap-Break in circuit. Q taps--Fir,
under control. 8 taps-Ffre out. 8 tapi
Police call. 1S-CalI for Washington
Hose CO. I4-call for Mcclellan Engin,
Co. 15-CaI for Protection Hook ant
Ladder Co. 16-Cali for Eagle Hos
| Co. 22-Call for Lincoln Engine Co
44-Call for Garfield Hose Company
23SACan for entire department. II
case of inability to sound alarm from
a box telephone to police headquarters
818 tapsNdenoting n session 0
school.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20
III FARMER RUG co,

Handsome and durable rugs, made
from old Brussels and Ingram car
pets. Also weavers of rag carpet and
rag rugs. Send for circulars and
tags. !
Est. 1879. South River.
p. o. BOX ITS, SOUTH RIVER.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20
ELKINs VERY LOW.
United States Senator Critically u
From Nervous Disease.

Elkins, W. Va, Oct. 20.-Friends OF
Senator Stephen B. Elkins are much
concerned over his failure to rally
from the illness which has hello him
at home during the past summer. 1t
is reported that he is suffering from a
ervous disease, which Is said to bs
nearing a critical stage.
Miss Elkins has declined all invita-
lions since her return from Europe.
Several well known physicians have
been summoned to attend the senator,
n many of his relatives are present.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20

iVNhI AeHNs
PERTH AMBOY TO NEW YORK.
LEAYELe:10, $50, TOO 7:2s, 7;2S. 500 S:0,
$50, $50, ITO 9; m, 12;15. 1;52; 2;5o. s;s6,
ADRITTQNAL BOATS WITH9pT
h3A \ * 5:S ~ {s;SSi ~ lS;iS 4 1: s. !; E e. BIZ FL
5 5:Ss, ioe& 4 3 M 9'g 9s, So 4. 7i no. TO go $780,
SUNDAYS AND LEGAL HOLIDAYS
LEAVE PERTH AMBOY9:16. T:48. s:4s.
az, 66;i2, SO sos, s:ss, i1:i7 p. m.
Train tdt99ESAAEEcTfeoN LEAVE Perth
a:6, 40, B:S, $50, 7:2o, TAO. s:45. 1920.
1880, Hi p. m. 1920 a. m, and LOO, 6:45
NEW YORK TO PERTH ANNOY:
LEAVE-s:M, TOO, 500, 800, 1000, i1:2t
a. m, 1880, 1:S0, 2:40, $40, 4:40, b:15, $50.
5:45, s:15, $3.50. TOO. TAO. 600. 1000, n:so p
M Aip 5f;iS + Il BoATs WITHOUT
| TRAIN CONNECTION LEAVE TOT
| TENViLLE-S:N, e:42, 7:45, $50, 1880. 1875
11:65 a. m. 100. 2:O6, s:e6. AIS. $40. 9:l6
s' sStlNS EISs AND LEGAL HOLIDAYS
a. m. 1a;oo m Zoo 100, Zoo 400 5;@. 500
rAA pPIr5e9oSNANhE crToN IEAvE TOT
TENVILI.E@7ls, 800, s:26, 1885. 1880 q
m. 1a:so 1880, 2:S0. $50, {:So, $50. $50, 1880 7:5
1000, lice. 11;4o p. m. 6:sb q. M. holiday
way GEORGE J.. BROWN,
Gen'l. TRAFFIC ARt.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20

Headquarters for Edison and Victor
machines and records; the only
place you can get a complete selec-
ito nof popular as well as operate
records. Machines sold on easy
terms. Zellman's Music House, 159
Smith street. 9979-3-1S-tf
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20
We'll Trained.

.eMr. Jonesby never interrupts one.
and he lie the best listener ever met"
mo wonder; he's been married three
huses1
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20

For Satisfactory site of 100 acres
near Perth Amboy; shipping by
rail or water. II. Adolf Nielsen, New
Brunswick avenue and Fayette st.
1bb26-10-2-12t
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20

Ellen Terry Sails For New York.
London Oct. 20.-Ellen Terry, the
actress, sailed for New York on the
steamship Adriatic. /,
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20

Six Farms for Sale near Cranbury, N.
j., from 40 to 1875 acres, in the
land of hay, grain, potatoes, poultry,
pork and peaches. See j. A. Smith,
272 Mcclellan street.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20
MISCELLANEOUS.

FILMS DEVELoPED-six exposures
10o.; Ve1ox prints Brownie Mo- Sci
2Ax3N, S11ax3h, 3Ax4A, &C.; 4x6, 3Ax5l1 and
postals. &c. each; enlargements, Sxl0 In,
black and white, or sepie mounted, SOC.
John N. Lehrs, 278 High street, Braid
woods. 14206-8-23-tf
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20

Have Your Fall painting and paper
ing done by J. Jensen, 1928 Gordon
street. 16799-10-20-lmo.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20
PnanDERs WANTED.

Rooms and Board, day or week, table
board, reasonable terms. Ernst
House, 152 New Brunswick
15740-10-18-tf
Boarders and table boarders wanted.
328 High street.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20
~CLASSIFIED ADS.
REAL ESTATE FOR SALE.

For Sale-House and lot, Ala Wash
ington street. Inquire Of Miss
Addie Dayton, Matawan, N. ].
16756-1 9-3t
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20

FOR SALE-Two lots, 5Oxt10, on
New Brunswick avenue, suitable
for business or residence. Address,
Reasonable, z. O. Box 80.
0-2G-tf
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20

Have your feather beds and pillows
cleaned by Roll Feather Mattress
Co., "a Smith street.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20
HELP W~ANTED-MALE.

Male Help for farmers, vegetable
and flower gardens, diaries, pri-
vate places, roadhouses, ETC., furnish
ed at shortest notice and at reason
able wages. Call or write B. Holz-
hansen, 443 West 18th Street, New
York. Establ. 1891.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20

Money to Loan on bond and MORT
gage. Fraser Bros, 95 Smith st:
6O20-10-16-tf
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20

Piano Instruction, elementary ad-
vanced. Mrs. Leila w. Stilwell, II
Jefferson street.
15677-10-15-6t
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20
RAG CARPET WEAVING

you a nice carpet for little honey
Drop a postal and We will call. Miss
A. Won Rome, r. T. D. No. 1, Me-
tuchen, N. j.
.N1nh4h-4-7-n-e-W-Th-1Yr
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20
MONEY TO LOAN.

MONEY TO LOAN ON BOND AND
MORTGAGE, 8 AND 6 PER CENT.
PIERCE & SON, 9S SMITH STREET
13O97-7-7-tf
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20

Five Pleasant Rooms on first floor;
also stable for one horse with
shed on real Of lot; all on
Brighton avenue. Enquire G.. d.
Runyon, 173 High street.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20

ture. inquire news ONCE.
15796-10-20-1t
For Sale-A fine young horse for
heavy work. r. J. Rogers Lumber
Co., corner Fayette and Division
streets. 1619l-lO-1O-tl
For Sale-One fresh and two good
family COWS. Inquire Hackman,
Hopelawn. l5744-lO-lo-ot
For SaIe-Ten nice young pigs ten
weeks old. Inquire Hackman,
Hopelawn. 15743-10-18-3t
| For Sale-A number one Holtsteln
COW. Inquire 470 Hall avenue. :.
15733-10-18-3t
| For Sale-A lot of lumber for build
ing purposes; AS, 8-8, 10 to 80 It.
long. Inquire at Raritan Bay Hotel,
Richmond Valley, S. l. :,
15690-10-15-6t
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20

Automobile Instruction in four or
eight weeks, day and evening
classes. Practical shop and road
work. Booklet "a" on request. west
Side Y. M. G. A., 318"West 51tn'
street, New York City.
1b341-10-1-1mo.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20

Wanted-Young mar for stenogra-
ply, typewriting and copy work.
Address F. H., care Roessler & Hass-
lacher Chemical Co. Plant No. 1.
15757-10-18-3t
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20

To Let-Two neatly adjoining fur
nished rooms, with bath; suitable
for two gentlemen. 217 Brighton
avenue. o-lo- o-lL
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20

! Help Wanted In hat shop Immediate
ly. Apply Middlesex Hat Co., Me-
tuchen, N. J.. Have employment also
for two or three girls.
~15485-10-7-tf
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20
Rooms TO LET.

To Let-Four rooms. Inquire H. P.
a Rasmussen, 800 East avenu
9-3t
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20
HELP WANTED-FEMALE.
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. laundress. Ap-
ply Packer House.
1548S-10-7-tf


PUBLIC SERVICE TIME TABLE.
Cars Leave Staten Island Ferry.
For New Brunswick-6:10 a. m. and
every 80 minutes until $40 p. M, also
at 8:4O, 1910 and 11:40 p. m. Saturdays
oIF For keasbsy-s;25 a. M. and every Is
minutes until $40 p. m. Then every 30
minutes until 11:40.
For Rahway5:N a. m. and every 30
! minutes until 11:00 p. m.
| For Boynton Beach-8:W a. m. and
! every Is minutes until 11:@ p. m;
NEW JERSEY CENTRAL.
TRAINS LEAVE PERTH AMBOY .
For New. York, Newark and Elizabeth
at e;2s, 7:1e,, CA n: 7. S9blly) 7ieS, es;SS.
iTS:os. 1884 12:47, ais, 4:A. 500, 500, s;17;
a. M; 1:26, sos, 7:2s. DAT p. M.
! For Philadelphia and Trenton. via
sundays, $50 a. M; sos s:H 2, m.
For Long Branch, Asbury Park, etc.
44:s@0' ss:o3, 6:s1, 9:54, i2:4s night. Sundays
All 9:34 a. M; Asa and 9:23 p. m;
FF For Freehold, b:io, $50. $40. 11:5s a. m.
go, 6:o7, 6:S1 p. m. Sundays. s:S4 a. m.
4'os' w " (. BEsLER, v. p. and G. M.
w G. HOPE, Gen. Pass. gent. -
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20
FURNISHED ROOMS TO LET

TO Let--Furnished rooms, all I'M
provements, 262 Mcclellan street.
1~6618-1O-8-tf
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20

Wanted-Canvassers. Call 8 to 3
o'clock mornings or address John
e. Parkyn, 1856 Jefferson street.
15269-9-29-1mo.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20

Feather Mattress made from your
feather beds by Roll Feather Mat
tress Co.. "a Smith street.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20
15795-1O-2O-2t

CollectOr-Young man with good RET
n to collect a few days each
month. Address Reliable, ARE Even
ing News. 15S04-1O-2O-3t
Wanted-Tailor. Call so Smith
street, Ferbel.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20
FOR SALE.

For Sale-Large cooking range IN
good condition. also other furnl-
ture. Inquire News office.
15796-1O-20-1t
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20

Flats to Let-Corner South First and
Market streets, all improvements.
Inquire M. Shumsky, 205 Market
street. 15186-9-2t-tf
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20

VIII Sacrifice self-player piano with
music rolls; can either be played
by hand or nickel In slot, ] paid
$3.50. will sell for less than half.
Good investment for saloon, restaur-
ant or candy store. Address p. o.
Box At, Perth Amboy,
15710-10-17-tf
All Kinds Of ornamental, fruit and
shade trees, roses, hardy shrubs,
for fall planting, hedging, &c. Guar
antees given. Landscape plans and
estimates furnished. Orders called
for on notice to P. N. Kennedy, gen.
eral agent, P. O. Box 81, Perth AM
how.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20
SPECIALS
For the next 80 Days

TUT AhO nSAe NV
Slightly used piano, was sobo
now pAoo
Upright piano, almost new,
was $500, now .......... 10
Spells & Co. piano, was $276,
tE now .....s.
Augustus Baus piano, was
$500, now ioO
Templeton Piano, was $3.50,
now
$3.50 now ..e........... 400
Wooster Piano. was 5000, now 225
Beautiful So. Piano, Rosewood
case .. 40
/ Zellman Piano, was $3.50,
now $50
zellman's Music House, 159 Smith
street.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20

GEORGE J. BROWN,
Gen'l. Traflc ARt.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20
STATEN ISLAND RAPID TRANSIT
RAILWAY. .t

Time table in Effect Monday, October
10th, 1910.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1910-10-20

Flat to Let-All modern improve
ments, "a Madison avenue.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-20
NO WONDER. HE GOT THIN.

AscUM-I saw your wife at the dance last
night She certainly did look magnificent. By
the way, you're rather thin, aren't you9
MUTTLEY-I guess l am. You see, we went
to housekeeping recently and 1 arranged with
my wife to give her certain allowance each
week to provide for the table and buy clothes for
herself f-Cathoic Standard and Times.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-20
SEEING THE OPPORTUNITY.

"Yes, it's lovely day, Mr.. Quibble"
He (bitterly)- Squibbe, Miss Brown, Squib-
ble That's fine inheritance, isn't itq No
body ever gets it right How would you feel
with freak name like that?
SHE (coyly)-Oh, Mr.. Squibble, this is so
sudden !-CIeUeland Plain Dealer
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-20
BLEST EE NOTHING.

WIFE-The doctor writes that in view of
our poor circumstances he will not present
his bill Immediately.
ARTIsT-We are lucky that our circum-
stances are no better; if they were, we might
have to pay at once !-Fliegende Blaetter.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-20
WORST OF 1T.

CORRESPONDENT CE-S SCHOOL AGENT-But our
system requires only one hours work at home
each day.
PROSPECTIVE STUDENT-Yes but you don't
understand what an hours work at my home
means.-Puck.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-20
NO MERCY.

"Wk1TER, there's a spider in my ice cream
"He was in the soup yesterday. 1t serves
him right Let him freeze to death."-Kdn-
SaS City Journal
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-20
SOARING.

"She married an old man
who is very rich"
"I went one better on that.
81 married a young aviator
who is a millionaire" ."-Pele
Mele.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-20
OFFICIAL ENCOURAGEMENT.

"EvERY time the automoh lie breaks down
1 notice you examine your ST ate license"
81 do that for encourage ment. The IL
cense says I'm competent to operate the ma
chine "-HouSton Chronicle.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-20
OLD MAID MAXIMS.

A MISS is as good as a Mrs.
A cat in the lap is worth two in the alley
Troubles always come singly.
1t suits me to tea.
What every woman mos"
Two negatives do not make an Affirmative
Judge.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-20
ON HIS GUARD.

.nythins- TEACHER Ito neW pupiD-
' Why did Hannibal cross the
Alps, my little man?
MY LITTLE MAN-For the same reason as
the ZEN crossed the road. Yer don't catch me
with no puzzles.-Sydney Bulletin
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-20

an example of a coincidence"
"Why-er," said Tommy, with
some hesitation, "why-er-
why-me fadder and me mud
der was both married on de
same day."-Harper'S Weekly.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-20

GREENING-How's that?
BRowNING-I met one about ten years
ago-and 1 married her.-Chicdgo Daily
NelUS.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-20
GOING THE PACE.

MoTHER-But what did you
do with the penny | gave you
yesterdayq
TOMMY spent it, mother.
A feller has to hold up his
end with the rest of the boys.
Brooklyn Life.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-20
o.
TOO ADEPT.
"THE next event."
said the announcer

dI IHt CUUIIIy IdIIJ
twill be a sack race for girls.
Professionals barred"
"What do you mean by pro-
fessionals?"
"Those who have been wear
ing hobble skirts" Kansas
City Journal.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-20

tells his leg panied him
horribly night"
Nonsense! could his wooden leg pain
hm?'
over with it?'-
L'Indscret, Paris
SAME NAN.
"JoNEs is the same old easy mark he used
to be-"
"Is that so? | remember he let his mother
choose his wife for him."
eyes. And now he lets his wife buy his neck
ties."-Clereldnd Leader.
-
a BOSTON GETAWAY.
"THAT Boston girl didn't seem to like her
dinner"
NO. she's used to beginning it with bean
soup cocktail"-Cleveland Plain Dealer
NO UNDERTAKING.
"Your wife always weighs her words, doesn't
sheW "Yep. And nobody'll ever have her ar
rested for giving short weight" t."-Erchange.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-20

HE WAS A SKEPTIC.
GREENING-Do you believe
in dreams?
BRowNING+I used to-but
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-20
When in Doubt, Read This Page Y
BRIGHT.

"NOw, Tommy"
S aid t h e teacher,
"you may give me
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-20
SITTING UP.

'I didn't get to bed until midnight"
"Sitting up with sick friend ~
"Well yes, with ovesick FRIEND" answered
the girl-KdnSas City Journal
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-20
TWO TO CLUTCH At.

"DRowNING men clutch at straws," quoted
the Wise Guy.
'Yes, especially if they are drowning their
sorrows" added the Simple Philadelphia
Record
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-20

t + /.
SOARING.
"She married an old man 40
who is very rich"
81 went one better on that. - :
81 married young aviator -
who is a miionaire"-Pele @
MeIe. e5.
He WAS A SKEPTIC. S
GREENING-Do you believe LITTLE
in dreams? worldly posse
ppo1uN1Nc-T ,,sad to-hut l., a En
PARKKE
GREENING-How's that?
BRowNING-I met one about ten years
ago-and 1 married her.-Chicago Daily
NeUS.
OFFICIAL ENCOURAGEMENT.
"EvERY time the automoh lie breaks down
I notice you examine your ST ate license"
81 do that for encourage ment. The Ii
cense says I'm competent to operate the ma
chine "-HOuston Chronicle.
NO MERCY.
"WA1TER, there's spider in my ice cream
"He was in the soup yesterday. 1t serves
him right Let him freeze to death.'-Kan-
SaS City Journal.
OLD MAID MAXIMS.
A MISS is as good as a Mrs
cat in the lap is worth two in the alley.
Troubles always come slngly.
1t suits me to tea.
What every woman mos"
Two negatives do not make an Affirmative
Judge.
SITTING UP.
'I didn't get to bed until midnight"
'Sitting up with a sick friend?"
"Well, yes, with lovesick FRIEND" answered
the girl.-KanSas City Journal.
TWO TO CLUTCH At.
"DRowNING men clutch at straws," quoted
the Wise Guy.
"Yes, especially if they are drowning their
sorrows" added the Simple Philadelphia
Record.
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