Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1910-12-12
Gfidiron Club Roasts Big
Men Of Country.
Party Differences Forgotten and
Everybody Gets a Dig.
Champ Clark, Uncle Joe and Miss
Democracy the Features.

present and future, was the dominant
note at the Annual FAN Dinner of tie
Grldlron Club Saturday night Presi-
ucnt Tatt VAS there With members OF
MS cabinet; Vice President Sherman.
;. Aatcis and Re Pre- s. natives =, 'on.
Sr.ss: latent Presidential possibilities;
N'N-el. cJed 4tlLILDls q. SCOT, 49,.
men Of mark in various positions and ut
ga !,aits OF pUitiCaI belief and Am
bassado's ana Minister'S plenipotco
tiary OF foreign countries who were
numbered among tie cue guest
heard with wonder the good nature
selling administered by the newspa-
per men to their victims. With tab
lcauX and comedy sketch and topical
song. in clever speech and moving pic
ture. the incidents of the last cam
palgn were recalled and grim forecast
made of the future.
And right wittily and with many a
sclntilating thrust of oratory did the
OBJECTS of this att ntion retort upul.
t.eir tormentors. Forgotten for tn,
moment " ere rartv differences, victor
and vanquished joined hand and glove
II repelllfa the attack OF tu>lr c lilcs
Democracy, Uncle Zoe" cannon was
s" ent aside and in q skit emhodxing
parody upon the Mikade hes was
sentenced to d capitation. twas left
to him to select his eXecutioner. VIC
tor Murdoch, he declared was too
hasty' while he feared Senator La
Toilette would talk him to death.
The man he selected as of strong arm
and sure, an old friend, was "Ko no"
Longworth. Just in the nick of time
President Taft in the person of the
Mikedo stayed the hand of the Exc
outiorer ard conmuted Uncle Joe's''
sentence to staying in Congress, as
helpless minority and to being
chained to his seat during the debat,
on the House rules. The catchy
chorus of the Mikado's song ran:
My smile is still serene.
AS plainly may be seen.
No matter how they may jump the track
and batter tn old machine.
For | am quite content
To do the work that's meant,
=" hi@ 'meri"an President.
American President"
A furious cracking Of whips and
clankinS of chains, and roars OF "Ged-
dap" and stamping Of hoofs signal
lied the approach Of tumultuous
party from outside. 1t portrayed the
redemption of Champ Clark, famous
anti-election pledge to ride down
Pennsylvania avenue behind a team Of
mules if he We're elected Speaker.
The actor who represented Mr.. Clark
was clothed in farmers costume with
big whip, overalls, wide felt hat and
hickory shirt. He was riding two
wheeled cart cracking his whip and
shouting at his mules, christened
Bob" and "Fitz." Dragging behind
in heavy chains were Cannon. Dial.
zell and Payne, At every OTHER step
the Ex-Speakcr yelled defiantiy "Dlc-
tator,' Gear"
Ollie James introduced Clark as the
new Speaker. and the latter promptly
sentenced his prisoners to various
punishments, such as the assignment
of Cannon to the Craftsmanship of the
Committee on disposition of Useless
Paper (Whcre the Aldrich- Payne
S,noot Tariff was consgned) while
Payne and Dalzell were to be tramp
led by Ollie James. Clark undertook
to define his policies but had only
gotten 20 the point where he de-
ciared for free trade when the party
broke up in row.
Few of the guests at first could rec
osnize the dainty little lady Miss
Democracy in. the brawny. big mus
cled, large wasted and bass voiced
famalc in evening dress who occupied
i'm solitary state the place of honor
on the Democratic Band Wagon which
drew up on the stage. Hanging on
were various candidates for the prcsl-
dental office, but the lady while coy.
was also firm in her attitude ana
presented Il face Of flint TO her sultorS.
She announced that she was no silnp-
ering old maid, but was militant, that
she was taking this joy ride Tor the
first time in sixteen years and lau
chartered it for quite spell too.
When the President sought to expcll
her she dctiled him, saying that ne
talked like r. X. before election day
at the critical moment Governor
Judson Harmon came to the rescue
and climbed into the band wagon.
When his right was challenged he de-
clared that he was the logical candi-
date. the friend of the masses. and
the classes were friends of his. But
vi
have to wait for two Years to see
what he could do with Democratic
LEGISLATURE, 50 Harmon climbed down
Dix was tho next aspirant for favor
claiming his seat by virtue of tick
OF bearing an 20. X" by Chas. r.
Murphy, and because Of his vtrsatll-
i.y, but Miss Democracy insisted that
the trouble with the Democratic party
for the past twenty-five years was
that it had been too damned versa
tile and Dix was thrown off.
Judge Baldwin made an effort to
climb into a seat on the ground that
he was u great legal light but Miss
democracy asked: "What has law
GOT TO do with the Democratic party?
The Republicans made all the laws.
We are going to make new ones.
and off went Baldwin.
ross had no better luck when he
trieC to butt in for the best that
Miss Democracy would promise was
to look him over after he had gene
out TO save Lodge.
Woodrow Wilson had his turn on
the strength of being the National
Voice." but Democracy said that what
was wanted was National Silence
,v,,il, as 10 his claim of Virginia