davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-23

When you go toy the theater you desire
to be where you Can have an unobstructed
view of the stage and where You can get
out easily and the orchestra won't drown
the voices of people on the stage. And,
1t may be news, but so do all the other
people who go to the theater. The man
at the box office is besieged through his
hours on duty by the incessant brornides.
lit behind post - rs Ii on an aisle?'
is it very near the drummer rs this
the best you have? Well. it's mighty
funny!' etc. Strangers. In large numbers.
as ask rs this show any y, good ,o and rs 1t
window smiles he rakes in their shek-
els, and tells them it is the best ever. and
no. he really can't give them tickets re-
tain rises at the same old hour il has
been rising for the last generation-and
all of it as though he had not been re-
plying to them from his initial day on
the job!
The crossing policeman who was inter-
rogated thought carefully over his prob
lem before stating that ii consisted of
having always to tell inquiring ones his
information twice-and then they always
say 1t over after him. For instance:
How do l get to The Star from here"
Union station.
Take this car going down the avenue
and get off at 18th street" he replies.
"Oh. thank your"the stranger answers.
Take a car. going down the avenue and
get off at 18th street Thank you.'
And there is the street car conductor.
Asked what sort of silly remarks We're
made to him on his trips, he looked fab
bergasted
'Say. If 1 was to try to tell you I'd
have to get furlough.' he exclaimed.
1t was suggested that few must OF
necessity be standbys-heard on every
trip, and to be looked for and missed
when they were not.
"Aw. yes" he agreed: that's easy. and
these Is the ones: Amt this transfer no
good? Well, why amt it no goodc' And
the other is. I'm going to report you for
that. ! get them almost every time
But, unlike his contemporaries of the
banks and government Offices he does not
always receive such back talk with
smile.
incidentally, it is timeworn custom for
lawyers and others having dealings with
employees In the civil service to wander
in. take a survey about and sexclaim:
'.Loaf1ng, as usual. / see. My. you fell
lows have a cinch!''
And then the employees merely smile.
That is one Of their most wearing duties
to smile and make no harsh retcrt.
In the main they are harmless, though.
these broplides. They serve as a sort of
verbal small change, and, as each and
every person interviewed said in true
bromide style. Its all in the days
work.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-23

A MERICA'S first advocate of wom-
~ ems rights was not one of the fair
SEX not an American, but an Dng-
lishman. Thomas Paine. Among the
earliest writings of Paine. We find him
advocating more freedom for the ''gentler
SEX" and at the same time stating the
position of men in no uncertain light. In
one place he says:
IF we take a survey of the ages and of
countries We shall find the women almost
without exception. at all times, and In all
places. adored and oppressed. Man. who
has never neglected an opportunity of ex-
erting his power in paying homage to
their beauty, has always awaited himself
of their weakness. He has been at once
their tyrant and their slave
Later on, recurring to women's beauty.
he writes: Even among people where
beauty received the highest homage we
find men who would deprive the sex of
every kind of reputation. The most vir-
tuous woman says celebrated Greek,
is she who lis least talked Of That mo-
women. would deprive them of the sweets
of public esteem. and in exacting virtues
from them would make 1t a crime to
aspire at honor. -
BY far the most picturesque portion of
his article, however, is that in which he
gives what he considers would be the de-
Tense of a woman. Although over CEN
tury old. this plea might be given word
loI Wofd ana sui ne IN accord with the
platform orations of today. Paine makes
her speak In this wise:
How great is Your injustice? II we
have an equal right with you to virtue.
why should we not have an equal right to
praise? The public esteem ought to wait
upon merit. Our duties are different from
yours. but they not therefore less. diff
ncuit to fulfill, or of less consequence to
society. They are the fountain of your
felicity. and the sweetness of Hfe I'VE
are wives and mothers IT'S we who
form the union and the cord.ality of fam-
lies. lis we who soften> that savage
rudeness which considers everything as
due to force, and which would involve
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-23

main tent only to discover that ranging
out from it are smaller ones containing
just the wonders he most desires to see
and for entrance to which he has to dig
into his jeans before each individual
doorway.
Again. there is the element which hotly
contends that rudeness is meant by
the downfall of the old methods, and
that any suggestion of mercenary motives
is made by the envious and unjust. Ac-
cording to them. anybody not a nobody
is supposed to know everybody. And
there you are. 1T is as simple as Column
bus egg problem after it has been ex-
planned. When any of the elect send out
cards for a dance. or dinner. or tennis
party, or clambake, all the desirables in
Newport are included. Guests at various
house parties are asked Independent Of
their hostesses. Ergo, If they are not
asked, it is because their presence Is not
desired. Consequently. for a hostess to
invite her house party to go along is to
imply that she thinks they have not been
hidden. The logic of it is undeniable.
and yet. like the squirrel in the wheel, 1t
goes round and round and never seems to
get anywhere.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-23

Naturally this new regime does away
with many Inconvenience for the active
revolutionists. Instead of having to lie
awake nights scheming how to separate
the sheep from the goats, how to please
the woman whose bit of pasteboard on
the hall table is an invaluable asset. and
yet not offend certain people whom she
has been so democratic as to receive
into her own home although not con-
sidering them good enough to go to
otrer peoples homes, the hostess can
now cheerfully dodge such features of
this artificial summer life. And, frankly,
where a girl is popular and prefers to
pick and choose: where a man is wearied
of the continual round; or where a
severed couple dread that ever-hovering
tragedy Of being placed near each other
at dinner, it proves a welcome war.
But the uninitiated, who still live in
the hopelessly childlike belief that any
one who OPENS the front door to a guest
is a temporary guardian, is all unpre-
pared for the terrific battle. 1t has been
stated that more than one woman who
went up to Newport last summer left in
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-23
WHY DIDN'T YOU CHOCOLATE F1vEw

being fairly livable. Her sum total was
brief and to the point She replied
What time is it,
At the Capitol there is, as residents well
know. Senate private gallery and
private gallery for senators. and the two
are as different as suffragists and suf-
frasettes-to those who know. The aver
age befuddled individual makes no such
nice distinction of word arrangement,
and Gay after day through the session
the doorkeepers at the two entrances
have to combat folk who wish to pass
within.
You cannot enter unless the senator
brings you in person. says the keeper
the nsulted one. Because this is the
senator's private gallery" And this
card? rs for the Senate private gal
lery. replies the man on guard, patiently
and with the knowledge that a volley of
incredulity will greet his efforts to ex-
make up the doornans regular day.
Without it he would feel strange sense
of something missing. and yet not know
how to classify the loss.
To this class belongs also the questions
put with unceasing regularity by be-
lated ones who would pass the govern
mental portals after prescribed hours for
visitors
You cannot come in" the watchman
at the Office doors announces with deadly
calmness.
Why not?' esnappishly, impatiently.
mcredulously. according TO the speaker.
Because it is after hours.
We'll, why is it after hours?"
Because it is finding refuge at last
in that answer so thoroughly womanlike
and so final.
But these ire questions which become
bromides only because of the many,
many times they have to be heard and
replied to. There are many whose role
in life casts them to listen and chuckle
and grin appreciatively over inane moth
ings when duty requires them to be men
tally engrossed with the business end OF
the affair.
And of these the bank teller takes q
prominent position down stage right In
the calcium's glare. In the morning he
enters the bank with that jaunty,
thoroughly rested air meant to Inform
its officials he went to bed early and en-
joyed a righteous snooze. Maybe it is
such disgruntled. drizzling morning
that he could not by any possible chance
so inside and forget its morbidness I'M
less he were bordering on senlity And
yet. the very first customer will prance up
TO his little window with the conscious
look of one who imparts bad news, and,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-23

Wis isn't acquainted with what said
charge was last month, and would like to
say So Instead he automatically
reaches out and takes the paper and pro-
ceeds to carefully explain.
X
IT suppose you are watering stock a.
usual?" is a remark thought especially
witty when paying such bill. When
having a meter taken out it is regarded
as extremely funny to say: well, you've
taken everything else I had and now
you're going to get the meter" Naturally
the employee smiles Understandings. He
ought to. He has heard 1t often enough.
Hundreds Of men. women and children
pass In and out Of a large steam laundry
Office for six days of the week, and al
most all of them will ask, without men,
ton Of name, address or vocation, is my
laundry ready?'
What is your name?" and when did
it come in?' asks the clerk so often that
even its monotony is lost sight of. In
variably q customer is surprised and
grieved at not being remembered.
''Only several hundred people come In
here from Monday to Monday. so it is
strange we don't recall them, confided
the bestarched young girl who gave the
aforesaid bromdes.
What time will this letter go out?" is
an almost continuous query at-the bureau
of information OF the city post office.
'.If you let me look at 1t l can tell
YOU" is the inevitable reply.
Another cheerful demand Is to know
why a letter mailed. to the callers GER
tain knowledge, in a certain city at
certain time. has not been received. And
when the superintendent Of that division
admits he does not know, be is branded
as an ignoramus. These queries are con-
sidered bromidec, but only because they
occur so often.
Before the general delivery window
humanity betrays it's most characteristic
bromide effusions. The woman in charge
of one OF the windows there knew i'm
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-23
I'VE ARE HAVING A BIT OF RAIN"

medately what was wanted and launched
forth with a budget which spoke volumes
for her sense of humor. She endeavors
to remember the faces of all her patron
esses-rather a difficult task, but an
obliging one-because SO many of them
don't care to repeat their names while
others are standing by.
ANY mail for me today" ask ninety
nine out of a possible hundred. without
offering any clue to their identity. And
the hundredth one alone fails to ask.
when told there is nothing: Are you
sure? Won't you please look AGAIN.!
Just as If Uncle Sans servants hated to
yield up the missive intrusted to their
charge!
lis that all you have to do-just hand
out letters?" is a query which occupies
some of this woman's time every working
day. She may think: mo. / also have
not say so. Hers the part to smile and
look delighted.
So with the woman at the registry divi-
sion, who hears from early morn until
closing time: will this letter go safe if
l register it," And the man in charge Of
the specials is expected to-know the
very minute 1t will be delivered in some
other town.
The man at the stamp window must
have been thinking the subject over,
when the writer inquired for his pet
bromides, for he gave them instantly.
and they are both Of feminine origin.
Wont you please put this stamp on
for me- I don't want to raise my veil?"
and Please change this money Tor me
so I can use the telephone.
The girl at the lunch counter whose
beat runs from light to light grin
ned and made it apparent that the word
tofA hns ind
with drug stores and late hours and
everything dissipated. 1t was explained
that, merely as a figure of speech. the
word meant the silly things said to her
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-23

HERE has been a
revolution at New
port, SO it seems.
that has struck as
great terror to So
cial climbers" as
did the first rumors
Of discomfort at
Versailles. Social
leaders are less
anxious, though.
because they are
active revolution
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-23

so frequently that they were entitled 70
be classified.
"oh-h-h!'' she nodded comprehendngly.
Il see now. And you've come to the
right place. Not lunch time passes
but somebody sits down here and says
is the bread fresh today? Is the pie
good? How's the Coffee. Don't you get
tired Of standing on your feet all day?
and why didn't you tell me chocolate is
ten and coffee five?' Now how was I to
know customer couldn't afford choco-
late? Imagine me saying you'd better
take coffee. chocolates 10 cents. No, l
just smile and don't mind 1t. People are
that way. You have to take them as yo
find them.
One can just picture the huma
bromides who have the density to wal.
up to a butter-and-egg man in the mar
ket and ask, Have you any nice fresh
eggs today and how is your butter?"
Suppose that presiding genius should re-
ply. NO; / haven't; they have been in
cold storage since last spring and this
butter is positively rancid knowledge
or trade should teach customers that not
even the most honest dealer is going to
absolutely run down his own wares, and
yet the question, or it's equivilant. is ask
ed at every stall by almost every buyer.
Right In line with this summary Of
bromides concerning eatables is that Of
a mere man In a candy store His help
lessness is pitiful when purchasing sweets
Tor member of the sex feminine He
doesn't know what she prefers, but sure
ly the salesgirls will, Even the most
sagaclous business man will fall for
the belief that one woman who has never
seen or heard OF another can be positive
OF the latters taste in CONNECTIONS And
So he says with childlille naiveness. Just
make It up of what you think she'll like"
Ihat is the candy shop girls bromide.
1t is far cry from their dainty atmos-
pnere to that of the barkeeper. hut the
emitter of bromides can patronize both
Witinn Few minutes times. Occa-
slonally he takes a friend with him
Have you ever had some one with you
from out of town whom you wished to
impress? And have you ever invited him
In and backed him up to the bar with
that world-old, cosmopolitan "What'lI
you have?" And then have you ever.
with perfectly human desire to seem at
nonchalantly, you know what | takee'
If you have. that was a bromide
And to the mixer of drinks it was
something worse. One of the dreaded
tragedies Of his day is having. that fired
at him and taking chance. on making
up the wrong beverage or risking the
enmity of patron by admitting thar
he hears that from sun-up to sun-weil.
perhaps, one had better say sunset-and
could not possibly know each ones pref
erence.
The waiter complains that il is also
his bromide. Customers say: You know
how | want my steak broiled" or bring
that same sauce with my fish that / al
ways like" "A good waiter never for
gets" is an axiom good and true, but
sometimes he almost wishes he couldn't
hear.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-23

RE You an asker
of bromide ques-
tions? Do you go
about in the trans
action of your
daily business a:d
search for pleas
ure from window
to window, from
guide to guide,
from doork eeper
TO doorkeepeT. IN
ficting each and
~
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-23

while waiting for his check to be cashed.
state impressively: Dreadful day were
having"
That. gentle reader. is a full-hedged
bromide! But the teller dares not say so.
Instead. he crinkles up his eyes, so as to
smile without taking them off the notes
he is counting. and replies with some
sort of speech to show he has heard and
is properly impressed
Five minutes later a woman trots in.
has the usual delay over indorsing her
check. slips it under the barred opening
and remarks brilliantly: Dreadful wealth
er were having And once again the
teller smiles. Just stand around during
the rush hours and note how many times
that remark is made and with what un-
varying regularity he smiles and looks as
though 1t were the most original obser-
walton he has heard in a. month Of Sun
days And that expression by the way,
is also a bromide!
And then. if you are still unconvinced.
listen and observe some more Half a
dozen persons in as many brief intervals
will omit the weather observation only to
eXclaim with mock sadness: We'll, it's
all coming out ard nothing going in,
This is to impress the teller with an idea
of the patrons extravaganza and worldly
wealth. And the man with the nimble
fingers and accommodating physiognomy
distorts his features and makes the ex-
pected reply.
Z
They put you behind the bars so you
can get used to it by degrees. Ha. Ha.'
shouts the witty one. who desires money,
and the teller joins in, of course. Has he
ever heard 1t before? At the vaudeville,
when he was a boy, and about ten times
a day ever since he became associated
with a bank-but that isn't often.
The best of the whole matter is that
it doesn't do MIN any harm One of his
ilk even insisted that il people would
suddenly cut out the bromides and just
shove their checks across in business
like way he would think he had lost
favor in their eyes. The little inanities
show human interest at least. and they
are given in good faith and accepted In
the same manner. And it is we'll, for
there Is certain receiving teller in a
Pennsylvania avenue bank who has cause
to think that anybody who mentions
bromide as cure for headache is
somewhat demented. His headaches come
from bromides, when he allows himself
to think about thenr-which is seldom.
Without exception he has discovered
that both men and women volunteer some
explanation when deposting or with
drawing funds.
1T is their money. and they can do as
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-23
~

lists: vet even with them all is not WELL
since warfare of any sort involves dis
comfort to the attacker as we'll as the
attacked
Very late in the past summer or early
in the misunderstanding to whether
ones season ended at Newport OF paused
there to continue at Lenox and Aiken
and Palm Beach-the first war clouds
were deserted oa that most exclusive
horizon. Intuition. rather than fact,
warned Ragged Edgers" that, where be-
coming an .Inner-ofInners" had before
been difficult. from now on it would make
the camers task of passing through the
needles eye seem but pleasant amble.
In short through some unclass:fied wire
less or influence of mind over aristocratic
matter, the recognized hostesses, without
being in convention assembled or giving
any visible proof of their amalgamation,
suddenly acted in unison, and decided
thai guests at their splendid private hotels
would in the vernacular, have TO SHIFT
for themselves.
Guests at any Of the so-called homes of
America $ nobility along that rock bound
coast where the only thing free is the
sound OF the oceans roar-even bathing
grounds being so arranged as TO keep the
pa.;icians apart-have never I'm the past
found themselves overwhelmed with ef-
come down to the train or boat and
waited en- masse to give them hearty
greeting and exclaim Now, We want you
TO feel perfectly at home and visit with
us as long as you can''-the chances are
the said guests would have promptly had
heart failure from surprise. Yet-at least
in the past-an invitation carried with 1t
the tacit assurance that for the time the
visit was one of the family. and as
such to he included in every bid for
dinners and dancing and incidentals to
which the household went.
But now it is different. Not only does
the asked one alight at his or her desti-
nation unmet by other than the parsonage
steering the machine or driving the car
rage, but also the vast pile constituting
a typical Newport cottaee is frequently
found as untenanted as though there had
been, a sudden outbreak OF some con-
tagious disease. To reiterate. the guests
have to make their own way. Invitations
s.nt to the family are no longer meant to
include the house guests. And that is
the bonlbshell which has struck conster-
nation to the climbers. who find they
have literally paved their way" with
eo!d bricks.
Many reasons have been ascribed for
this revolution. and these vary accord
ing TO their sources. some claiming that
hostesses who, in a kindly spirit, asked to
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-23

their houses al 4uaintances of few
weeks or months duration found them
selves debarred from the most desired at
fairs because those entertaining did not
wish to ask unknowns, and could not well
discriminate in the same household.
Others insist, that the English frugal
ity of making strugglers pay dearly for
every bit Of social recognition accorded
them is the real motive. Before, when
an aspirant automatically passed over a
few bonds and securities, or some similar
token of admiration and respect for the
great lady who was standing sponsor,
the transaction was understood 10 mean
literally, WHITTIER thou goest there will
GO If the hostess was sufficiently
well known an invitation to stay at her
house meant that all Newport was open
to the fortunate guest.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-01-23

! printer 70 whom this last query had
heen put several million times i'm every
fsHpwr maic ard female tone OF voice
and dialect finally cot "riled' one day
and answered: Not half SO hard as
that question il or my nerves But he
was a disgrace to the Society OF Human
Buffers. for its members listen with pa
tier"e. smtl" automatically in just he
right Places and 20 on with their infor-
iE.2 tiug..
Oue u them, q woman with that rare
combination of auburn hair and brown
eyes, said taat invariably some man ex-
c'ains Wien told that tie expert s%a piiyl-
rrs are women: "oh. ~ course, II takes
the women To- trd faait.
Cant / have tltat spoiled page as a
souvenir" is request most bromide in
its frequency. And rove SHOW us the
freaks, is another. many people persist
inS In their belief that the National Mu-
scum Is ro..Guctsd is part Of. the bureau
of engraving and printing. The guides
were as affable in replying TO questions
for this compilation as they are TO the
tourists 1t is AL in the days work
with them.
So was the telephone operator when
asked what bromide question most con-
sistently helped 10 keep her day from