davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25
A Modern proposal.

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
He-You know, Celeste what modern
living means. You read the papers. OF
course7
She-Yes, George And hear all about
It at home. Nothing but high prices.
He-That's right. Everything is Up but
salaries-and car fare.
Shell guess that's true. Nine. Gore
won't touch waist now for anything
under 81.
He-My mother and sister go TO some
body else, but I'm sure they must be al
alike Anyway. father does a good deal
more kicking than he used to do.
she-Yes, and rents are way up 10,
everything that's desirable.
Hell know. I've been around. It's
discouraging, isn't it?
She Awfully.
He (after a little pause)-Ot course II
wouldn't be fair TO you 10 ask you &c
marry rae.
She-And I'm sure It wouldn't be faiI
to you IL I accepted your offer.
He-By jove. Celeste, you're an ange
for unselhshness.
She'll love you too well TO be G
b-burden to you
He-Confound the consequences Who
cares for high prices! Let's get married
anyway
she-Y-Yes, George
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25
Yardaman,s Second Defeat.

For the second time in his career,
James X Yardaman has been baked in
his ambition to represent the State of
Mississippi in the Senate Of the United
States The first time he was defeated
before the people in primary election
by John Sharp Williams; his second de-
feat came at the hands Of the legislature
direct.
In electing to keep James K. Vardaman
at home. the State of Mississippi. We
think. has acted wisely. and is to be con-
graduated The man Is curious mix
ture Scholarly. intelligent to a marked
degree, and courageous, he is. neverthe-
less, a dangerous man in Office, and one
calculated TO do his State little If any
good in the Senate And, strangely
enough. it Is not-and never has been
the things Vardaman does so much as
the things he says that hurt. Familiar
with every poet and perfectly at home
among the classics, Vardaman yet in
dulges in the most disgusting and naU-
seating of talk on the stump. in the
papers, and in the forum Much of what
he says is never printed because 1t is
not fit to print He is an agitator of the
most demagogic type; as a constructive
statesman. he has no standing whatever.
That there is a genial, attractive. per-
suasive side to the man cannot be de-
MED; but it Is not the side he delights to
display for public inspection.
Mr.. Vardamans one pet obsession-for
political purposes exelusively-has been
negro domination and failure OF white
supremacy in the South. If ever buga-
boo was worked to a FRAGILE. MIR. James
K Vardaman has worked Cuffy to just
that state. The negro peril is the very
corner stone Of all the Vardaman near
greatness. The ex-governor has seen II
cropping out in every question coming
under his observation. He has reveled in
discussing the problem the loudest IN its
most repulstve aspects. He has persist
emily invoked it as terrorizing agent.
and magnifled Il at every possible
turning
We do not believe the South needs
Vardaman in the Senate. The idea that
he might develop" "come out" take
on polish" and all OF that-even as Till
man dds not wen founded. Vardaman
already has the limit of polish" he IS
constltutionally capable Of taking on. in
all human probability. He is dandy in
dress, an extremist in punctilious polite.
ness Of a purely personal sort, and a man
widely read and extensively informed
He is cheap in nothing save in his
methods of political procedure; in that. h
is coarse and repulsive in the extreme
And he deliberately prefers and endeavors
to be so! Recognizing the mans admira.
bic qualities, it still is all but impossible
to believe 'him sincere in what he say.
when talking his municipalities.
Mr.. Vardaman probably would be moth
ing more than a firebrand in the Senate
a constant embarrassment to his State
and his section. Mississippi has don,
well TO keep him at home.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25
GarfleId and DIS Candldacy

The announcement that James Rudolph
Garfield is willing TO become the Repub-
lican candidate for governor of Ohio will
meet with a pleasurable response in the
hearts OF many Washingtonians.
Mr.. Garfield began with much success
the work of reorganization in the De-
partment of the Interior. which his sue
eessor, Mr.. Ballinger, Is pushing to a
completion. Mr. Garfield shone brightly
as an executive officer and organizer.
His work on the so-ealled Keep Com
mission. which probed deep into the
methods Of conducting public business.
and his installation OF system in the
Bureau Of Corporations, while he was
Commissioner. admirably fitted him for
the vast undertaking which he faced In
the Department of the Interior.
It was during his service with the Keep
Commission that he came TO the realiza-
ton that the Department Of the Interior
needed help. It had become involved in
red-tape methods-methods which had
been gradually brought about. and for
which no one person was directly respon-
sible. The department had become q
slave to precedent, and anything that had
not been done before was viewed with
suspicion and alarm. Things were being
done because they had always been done
that way" and nobody seemed to know
exactly where to begin to make needed
reforms.
But James Rudolph Garfield knew, and
he started out by abolishing processes
right and left. until the fogies were
aghast and predicted certain ruin and
disaster. But the system was triumphant.
The routine business Of the department
began TO move like clockwork under Mr..
Garfield. To-day his reputation as an
executive official and an organizer has
a monument IN the system OF transacting
business in the Department of the In
terror
He may not win the governorship. His
qualities as politician have not been
tested. But If he should win it and dis
play the executive ability he showed here,
the Buckeye State will be the gamer.
Certainly the State could choose no
cleaner or saner man 10 run its business.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25
7Asf TO-DAY IN HISTOREgAFEsszzsssEzz=
National Banking System Organized February Is

that the affairs had been wisely and
skillfully managed"
The reason for the refusal OF the char
ter was due TO the influence of the State
banks on Congress, which number by this
time had increased to nearly ninety
These State banks furnished the gov
eminent with the greater part of its
money TO carry on the War OF 1s12-I5
The first banking institution. partak-
ing of a national character organized In
the United States. was called the Bank
Of North America, which was incorpor-
ated by the Continental Congress in 1871:
it's predecessor, the Bank of Pennsyl-
vania Q7S9). having been. as Robert Nor
ris said. nothing more than a patriotic
subscription of continental money for
the purpose of purchasing provisions for
starving army"
The national banks were established in
1863, by Congress, IN order TO provide a
uniform bank currency. and at the same
time to extend the market for United
States bonds.
The first savings bank in the world
was founded In Philadelphia, in 1915.
Wild cat banks were fraudulent insti-
tutions started principally in the West
and South after the closing up of the
United States banks, in 1892. They lasted
about four years, when the panic OF
1887 overlook the country. and banking
laws were then adopted to render similar
schemes impossible In the future
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25
POOR OLD LINCOLN.

he never made bobcat climb tres.
He nsver chased cayute 70 its lair;
He never rode hunter DER the lea,
Or bad his picture taken in the air.
BE never shot a SpanisTd in the back.
he never made his ninety miles q dsyI
BE never put the Senate On the rack,
On tried TO force the House TO do his wsy.
BE never told the mothers Of the land
How many children each should bear and rear.
He never took the farmer by the hand
And beloved talk OF uplift IN his ear.
He never told the railroad how 70 run.
He never used the short and ugly word;
He never made a speech that weighed ton,
Or strained himself to have Ids maxIms heard.
he never used the secret service hook
To land q man whose face he didn't like.
He never even tried u write a hook,
Or dared reluctant friends to Join hike
He never had a tennis cabinet
Or bolstersd up 4 trust TO save bank;
He never rods a hobby to fret.
Or forced regiment 10 walk the plank
He never said he'd had a bully time,
He never rOned and tied q festive steer,
He never made ''lese majestic" crime
Or tried 20 use his place 70 inspire fear.
&c never sought to teach the world 10 spnn.
He never Travelled far to slap big game.
He never yesTned 20 iuggle shot ard shell.
But We celebgats his birthday Just the sane.
--Heny Green.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25
Is A1arich a state.mans

Edwin Iafsyere, IN American Magazine.
Is Aldrich a statesman Like whom.
for instance? do not suppose many
people would call him that. After all,
that Is one of the points we shall de-
ternine st the autopsy. But he is. be-
.yond question, the most interesting per-
sonality in public life to-day-not alone
for what ne is. but for what. with his
extraordinary mind. he might have beer
with different environment in his form
alive period. He may be the last Of HIS
type, for his type can halt, for a time
the progress of humanity toward real
brotherhood By sheer weight Of mind and
adriot utilization Of self-interest. And
the influence of such men on the COM
munity is always proportionate TO their
mental capacity rather than 10 the capa-
city for self-obliteration in the service
OF their fellows.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25
A Day on.

From the New York World
Mrs out-of-town to near neighbor-
Such trouble as I've had to-day; I'm
nearly dead
Neighbor-Mercyl What's happened7
MY husbands watch stopped last
night"
L don't see why"
NO; neither could we. It never stopped
before. and We didn't know it was stopped
this morning, because It stopped at Z
o'clock last evening. and so I set the
clock BY It. and that was wrong, and my
husband missed the train TO the city.
and the children were. late TO school"
Not pleasant, or course: but"
"OhI but haven't told you. You see
my husband, after missing HIS regular
train, concluded to take a day off and
mend all the furniture"
II see"
Eyes. He's got everything in the house
apart and can't get them together again.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25
A DIALOGUE IN THE HOUSE.
Hessrs. BouteII and Henry Discuss
the High Price OF Beef.

From the Congressional Record.
Mr., Henry. OF Tsxas-Does the gen.
tlemsn from Illinois think the price OF
beef is too high in Chicago?
Mr.. BoutelI-weiI. with prime heavy
steers selling in the gentIeman's dis
trict at $40 upon the hoof. do not see
how the people in Chicago can buy them
for IS on the hoof. Does the gentleman
want to repeal the duty on cattie7
Mr.. Henry. OF Texas-I will answer the
gentleman.
Mr.. Bouteil-Does the gentleman want
TO repeal the duty on cattle TO help
lower the price?
Mr. Henry. OF Texas-T hope to make
myself explicit. and shall plainly an
swer all questions before concluding
Where we In Texas get $50 for a Texas
steer, the beef trust gets 500 and much
more from the starving citizens of Chit
cago and the people throughout the
country.
Mr.. Boutell-Then will the gentleman
from Texas favor the repeal of the duty
on cattle?
Mr.. Henry, or Texas-I want TO ask
the gentleman how will you reduce the
price? You say Il IS too high in Chicago
Mr.. BouteiI-Win you repeal the duty
on cattle?
Mr.. Henry. of Texas-I will agree &c
repeal every protective duty in your bill
and the duty on meats dressed and ship
ped into this country. And. furthermore
will agree to put every one Of those
beef trust magnates in the penitentiary
WIN the gentleman from Chicago helI
me to the same thing? applause or
the Democratic side)
Mr.. Boutell-To whom does the gentle
man refer?
Mr.. Henry, Of Texas-The' beef trust
Mr. BouteII-Who are the beef trust
Mr. Henry, of Texas-Do you no
know? And you from Chicagol II 20,
do not, then those starving children VIII
haunt you in your dreams. and theil
fathers will be swift 20 remove you from
Congress. applause on the Democrats
stde.) Now. ! decline to yield further
just as the gentleman did the othe
day.
Mr.. Boutell-That is a very excelien
place to stop.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25
Hvpnotfsm and VIII Power

From the WoIuan's Home Companion.
The more will power a person has the
more readily can he be hypnotized. for
there are certain conditions involving the
exercises OF will power on the subjects
part-for instance, concentration Of the
attention-that must be fulfilled before the
hypnotic state can be brought on. For
this reason, the weak-willed, the mentally
defective, the insane, are very hard TO
hypnotic.
Doctor Voisin, a celebrated French
alienist, found that he could not hypno-
tie more than 10 per cent of the inmates
of the asylum with which he was con-
nected. Whereas an English .experimenteI
named Vincent hypnotized with ease sc
per cent of a large group of university
men.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25
Rather Large Orders.

From The Brooklyn Eagle.
Members Of Congress frequently receive
requests OF an unusual character. A few
years ago Senator Frye was asked by a
constituent in Maine TO send TO him the
Congressional Library. Correspondence
was required 10 disclose that the writer
wanted a report Of the Congressional
Library. That request was considered
all embracing until yesterday, when one
reached Senator Hale, Of Maine, which
read as follows: viii you please send
me the United States:'
A map Of the United States was sent
in response TO the letter
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25
Register Letter. by Machinery.

Register Letters by Machinery.
From T1tBits
An innovation which has been welcomed
by the public In Berlin is an automatic
box machine installed in the post-offices
for the registering OF letters. The per-
son wishing TO send a registered letter has
only to insert his letter and at the same
time the required number of pfennigs in
coin. and the machine turns out the letter
with the official registration stamp
thereon
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25

From the Chicago Post.
What is the most unfortunate situa-
ton you can imagine a mans being in?'
asks the man who is always PROFOUND
ing useless questions.
L should say" replies the man who
can't be stumped. that the worst plight
would be to be UP in an airship, with
lunch just served. and then to drop your
false teeth overheard"
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25

King Edward very carefully explains
that his speech from the throne is based
exclusively on suggestions from his min
isters His majesty evidently appre-
ciates the fact that it is we'll to diagram
exhaustively all jokes framed up for
English audiences.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25
scrspturaI Reflection.

From Life.
The man with the fading fringe OF
hair in a sort OF a festoon from ear to
ear across the back OF his head stood in
a store and watched q woman purchas-
ing braids. switches. and so forth.
Turning sadly away he unused:
Unto her that hath shall be given,
but from him that hath not shall be
taken away even that which he hath"
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25
vfctimized.

From Life
Newsboy-Great mystery! Fifty victimst
Paper mister?
Here, boy, I'll take one"
say, boy, there's nothing Of the kind
in this paper"
That's the mystery. guv-nor. You're
the f7fty-first victim"
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25

We are solemnly assured by a Con-
gresham who has conferred" with Mr.
PeaTy that that gentleman viii be per
fectly satisfied" with $500 per annum
and the thanks OF Congress. Wen, well;
perhaps It should be allowed to 90 al
that! Uncle Sam" may find it cheap at
the price.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25

From the Savannah News
The president Of baseball association gets sal
any Of $500 year with contract for twenty
years Representative IN Congress gets q salary
Of s. 500 year with contract for two years The
very euocessful college president gets salary Of
S.OW. There Is q reason Why college young men go
ia strongly for field spo-t&
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25

What is boarding house hash?" in
quires the Syracuse Herald. Curiously
enough. that question does not bob up
nearly SO frequently as 1t used to. Hash.
evidently, stands higher IN the social
scale than formerly, anyway.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25


Henry
In 1855. which Count Walenstein assassnaed
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25

What has Theodore Africanus ever
discoveredP' inquiries the Charleston
News and Courier. The surest way to
play the game Of politics. for one thing.
apparently.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25

The Joe" Brown-Hoke Smith war IS
about 20 break loose in Georgia again.
Remember the other thing that breaks
loose in Georgia now and then? Well,
the Joe" Brown-Hoke Smith war is its
most conspicuous rival
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25

''The New York Sun compares the poems
Of the Mikado with those of Alfred Aus
tin says the Denver Republican. How
ever. Alfred Austin's compare very favor
ably with Emperor Williams.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25

People who hope for a settlement of the
Ballinger- Pinchot row this side Of the
millennium are reminded that they are
still trying Pat Calhoun out IN San
Francisco.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25

The government thinks it has Sc
cured scales for future use that will
make sugar weighing frauds impossible.
Il merely thinks" so, however. Doing
business with the sugar trust, it can
never be absolutely sure Il viii not get
mulcted somewhere along the line, of
course
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25
The Natural Place

From the Baltimore American.
Where should a vessel encounter the
teeth OF a gale?"
Il don't know. unless It is in the mouth
Of a river
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25
A slight Error.

From the CleTeland Plain Dealer.
'The paper states that eggs have gone
up to 81 a carat"
"A carat?"
"oh. pshawl read it wrong. It's 81
a crate.s
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25

IF Mr.. Peary does not get some kind
Of recognition from Congress, it win not
be for lack of suggestion. Nearly every
member has bin OF his own proposing
to do something for Peary. but Con-
gress viii do more honor 10 itself by q
less grudging acknowledgment OF his
achievement" says the Philadelphia
Ledger. Still, with the enthusiasm 10
do Something approximately unani-
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25

The puckerless persimmon, to be In
troduced into this country from Tibet.
win not prove to be popular. The pucker
to the persimmon is as salt to bread,
after all
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25

That picture OF Mr.. Charles F. Muir
ply in the garb Of a reformer surely
arrived several days behind its sched-
uled time. It was due. Of course. on
February Il
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25

The fact that the ex-countess de Cas-
tellane IS now a serene highness' is not
calculated to add anything to the serenity
Of Bonis temper, it Is TO be feared.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25
ConEratulates sItssissippi.

From the New York Evening Post
VaHdsmsns defeat for the United States Senator
ship an event upon which the people Of the State
Of Mississippi arc to De heartily congratulated.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25

Tariff and the Drama.
A job for Secretary Knox
There Are Others.

From the birmingham News
Senator Aldrieh Is not alone in cherishlng the
theory that he could run the government in a more
satisfactory manner than It IS now being conducted
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25

nous in Congress. it seems more than
likely that DIR. Peary viii get al that
is coming to him. does It not?
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25
Affuence.

From the Birmingham Age-Hesld.
who Is the gentleman seated IN the
large touring carr
THAT Is the poet laureate of q we'll
known biscuit factory"
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25
A Legal OpinIon.

From TIE Philadelphia North American.
Attorney General wiekersham SAYS that the people
Of this country are protected against the trusts.
This viii he very disoouragng news TO Mr.. Wicker
sham's Old client. the American Sugar Refining
Company.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25

From the Buffalo Express
"Can you ten me how can keep a
maid?'
Madam, you are in. the wrong place.
The embalmer is next doors
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25

Hon. Battling" Nelson's compliments
to Prof. Jim" Jeffries. with gentle re-
hinder that the eoming-back road IS a
hard road 10 travel.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25

pered to press at an early hour this morn
ing. Mr.. Davis was still firm IN his de-
termination neither 10 affirm nor deny.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25

In these days OF high prices and ex-
pensive living. It is a great consolation
to note that elephants-nice, large. fancy
elephants-msy be had as low as s140OC
each.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25

Eggs seem to be the photographers
greatest joke Just now says the Jack
sonviIle Times-Union. SO easy to crack.
you know Well?
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25

Fashionable or not. antique clothing is
more or less the rage throughout the
country nowadays.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25
A Democratic AdmInfstrntion.

From the Dallas News
The news from Spain that Democratic admins
trztion Is now IN power shows how far the Span
iards have advanced beyond the Americans SINGS
TIE war.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25

Winters backbone has been noticed to
bend time or two OF late. but It IS not
broken yet, apparently.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25

A contemporary says Senator "Jens'
Davis is '.truistic platitudlnarian with
optimistic idiosynerasies. AS we scam
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25

Easter eggs VIII incline to solitaire ex-
hibits this year. we fancy, rather than
to the cluster style of the yesteryears.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25
Lomer auotations ImpossrhIe.

Prom the Baltimore Sun.
Estimates on all hogs except end-seat
ones are high.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25

Much obliged TO Mississippi for fur
nishing Washington an opportunity to
get acquainted with Senator Gordon. at
least.
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25
ALITTLE NONSENSE.



THE FLUNKvILLE TEAM.
It looks as If Bill Basehit might
Not sign.
They haven't got Tom Twiricr quite
In line.
1t puts into a dreadful plight
Our nine.
Before we start the pennant race
We lose.
It gives the keenest fan a case
OF blues
To have to read such pesky base
Ball news.
Modern POesy.
Yes; my brother is a poet"
Does he work in a baked bean plant,
or a breakfast-food faetory?"
The Awakening.
''Cholly. what did you do to amuse
yourself before you fell in lover"
II collected postage stamps. and. do
you know. really thought It was fun"
Timing Its Approach.
The comet won't be visible until May.
Seems to be loafing along"
you can't expect it to arrive now and
maybe have to play second fiddle to =
stray blizzard"
Couldn't Float II.
To market, to market
To buy fat pig.
Home again, home again.
Deal was too big.
SampIInE 1t.
What are they giving away over
here?"
''Come along, Jack It's q demonstra-
ton Of face powder, Of no interest 20 Us
men"
"oh. don't know. Let's ask for a
taste"
Beginning Right.
1.-THE first valentine I ever gave my
wife was a 1O-cent affair Of tinseI. !
still send her a similar one each year."
you were foxy 20 start such q prece-
dent. Now my wife wants orchids"
The Latest.
whats this gang in front Of the
butcher shop?"
Meat spectators They always grab
up the choice locations. Wen have 70
buy from them, s'pose.''
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25
CHAT OF THE FORUM.
Or a Brigadier General.

Or a Brigadier General.
From the Rochester Herald.
II it has come 20 that, by ali means let Cannon
be retired as a rear admiral.
The Pyramids Dvvarfed.
From the Atlanta Constitution
How Insignificant the Egyptian pyramids viii look
beside the gigantic Amerieani
Tariff and the Drama.
From the Kansas City Star
Investigating tbs high cost OF living with no ref-
srence to the tariff would Be like Hamlet" with
Eddie Foy left out
4 Job for Secretary Knox.
From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Perhaps Secretary Knox could Be persuaded 70
Accept the presidency Of the pruposed United States
Of Central America
The Washington herald., 1910-02-25
samnIlnR 1t.
beginning Right.

THE first valentine I ever gave my
wife was a Decent affair Of tinsel.
still send her similar one each year."
you were foxy 20 start such 8 prece-
dent. Now my wife wants orchids"