The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1910-05-03
Why Life Was a
Burden to Him
By Max Adeler

Some time ago Cooley caught
young man who was just about tc
Jump from The wharf into the river
AS he seized him, he saw that il was
Jim Kelley, and be said
Why, Jim. what are you trying tc
dor
y reckon it's FOR the best said
lin Perhaps I'd better not do IN
after all Why, was going 70 com
nit suicaa"
"Suicide"' exclaimed Cooley Why
what on earth's the matter with youi
Are you crazy. or drunk, or poor?'
No
IN love. maybe and disappointcdy
"No.~
Well. what's troubling your"
We'll, III tell you said Mr.. Kelley
ut doesn't seem so much now, but
IL bothered me awfully a while ago
Why. you see, was sitting in my
room up IN the boarding house there.
and / got to thinking ] thought what
II / was 10 fall in love sometime with
a red.haired girl, and was to marry
her. and what II she should give birth
TO twins with the same kind Of hair.
And spose those twins should grow
mp one named Isaac and the other
Jacob. and s'pose Jacob should want
to go to sea for sailor and we let
him go. and he should get wrecked
on the Cannibal islands, and the can
nibals should take fancy TO him and
adopt him as an idol and set him mp
IN a temple
Ana s'pose. after a while, he should
gradually kinder get into their ways
OF living and should become a canni.
bal himself And spose Isaac he
should marry and raise a family OF
children. and one OF his boys should
60 10 sea and should be cast ashore
on the island where his Uncle Jacob
was acting as idol. and those canni-
balls should kill him, and cook him.
and offer some OF him TO Jacob and
Jacob should eat him and want more,
And then s'pose the government
should Fout out those sayages, and
send Jacob home. and he should have
acquired such a taste for isaac's chill.
lren that he would get to nibbling al
the rest OF them. and Isaac should
ketch him at IT, and suspect him and
accuse him: and Jacob should then
Kill that other red-headed twin and
eat him, and then eat all the children,
and finally eat hts mother and me
and then start out to swallow his
aunts and uncIes. and other relations
until he cleaned up the family?
"9 was so awful that ] couldn't
bear 10 think OF it, and so / thought
] would just block that heathen's lit
ne game by drowning myself before
the thing went any farther"
eBut why din't you block it by re
solving to marry some other woman
asked Cooley You needn't marry a
rcd.haifed woman unless you want
to-"
That's so. replied Mr.. Kelley re-
necliyeiy Il never thought of that
But s'pose l was TO marry another
woman. bow do know she wouldn't
have a son who would get Up and be
come a prize.fghter, and would gel
up fights for the championship. and
OF course ia have 10 bet all my money
on my own boy. and he'd be licked
and I'd lose and be brought down t
4 poverty in my old age. while hs'd b
Sd grieyed that he'd murder somebody
to get the money back for me again
and I'd happen TO be elected sheriff
! just before he was tried and convict
ed. and it'd become my duty L
hang him. Hang my own child
Think OF that. VIII your don't thinl
could stand u. believe I'll commi
suicide. anyway, II you'll leave m,
alone"
Then Cooley led him away. and rec
commended him to remain single an,
to let his fancy have play in writing
stories for the papers But Kelle.
seemed bent on counting an awfu
doom. and he proposed on the follow
ing Monday to Butterwick's oldes
daughter. although she has red hair
she refused him. and he told Coolel
The next day that he was cleared ri
On the Isaac and Jacob business any
how. and he thought maybe he Nigh
stave or the other calamity by keer
inn o,tt nj nolificH and deciding neye