Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-04-22

you have. sir? Top (sarcastically)-
haven't the faintest idea
Did you get in without your
wife hearing you last night?" "No,
and ] didn't get in without hearing
her. either. Houston Post
Who is the gentleman seated in
the large touring carr" THAT is the
poet laureate of well known biscuit
factory. Birmingham AgeHerald.
DO YOU think there is really any
such thing as platonic lover Yes.
1t exists between most husbands and
their wives. Chicago Record Herald
Papa. what is faith?" Well, my
boy, they say your baby brother sleeps.
but I've never seen him do It, Yet, II
believe he does, that's faith Life.
She (as they dance) I'm afraid I'm
firing you rather. He-Oh not at all
l used TO be attendant in the elephant
house at the o.--Meggendorfer Blat-
ter
knicker-Jones is all the time want
ing more money Bocker-No won
der; his father was a college president
and his mother was woman-New
York Sun.
DO you really believe this aviator
will come back to the starting point2"
He won't dare do otherwise. His
wife is waiting for him there File
gende Blaetter.
Vicar-And what induced you to
send for me, Mr. Russell? Russell
What's g say, Betty? Betty-'E says:
What the deuce did you send i'm
or?'-M. A. P.
why don't YOU teach your son les
son by making him live without his
allowance for while?" Goodness!
/ can't even make him live within IT."
Cleveland Leader
Lady-My cooking always tastes so
good to you, and II never suits my hus-
band at all. Beggar--Well, why don't
yoa get divorce and marry me?--
Meggendorfer Blaetter,
Il am plain-spoken man. said the
applicant for a Job, I'm afraid you
won't do" replied the railroad official.
I'VE are advertising for an experiences
train announcer Philadelphia Rec
ord
Father" said little Rollo. what is
an epigramT' An epigram. my son.
as modernly propounded il any sen
tence containing less than two con
functions and three commas Wash
ington Star.
Does she seem to take kindly to so
ciety ways. now that her husband has
made such pile7" "Oh, yes. indeed.
She was the ioudest talker at grand
opera tho other night. &C Cleveland
Plain Dealer
John" queried her husbands wife.
1f some bold, bad man were to kid
| nap me would you offer a reward?''
Sure thing" replied the wife's hus-
band Il always reward those who do
me favor. ~ Boston Courier
Inqulsitive Lady--And what is this
little box for2 Nerve-Racked Clerk
Oh. for odds and ends! lnquisitiye La.
dy- But 1t has two compartments Why
is that? Nerve Racked Clerk-One for
odds madam, and the other for ends.
Harvard IampOon
Would II be any harm to deceive
her about my age?" inquired the elder
ly millionaire Probably not" I'm
sixty. How would II do to confess to
fifty7" II think your chances would
be better with her If you claimed sew
enty-five Kansas City Journal
How nicely you have ironed these
things. Janet" said the mistress, ad-
miringly. to her maid Then. glancing
at the glossy linen. she continued in
tone OF surprise: oh, but | see they
are all your own" Yes" replied
Jane, and I'd do all yours just like
that If had time. Central Christian
Advocate
MY brother, my poor brother!" she
moaned. as a halfback was carried un-
conscious from the field. "Ah, but how
thankful we should be- her escort, an
old player. cried gayly. Thankful!
Thankful for WHAT" exclaimed the
girl. Thankful that 1t wasn't full
back" said he we haven't a decent
fullback sub, you know - Minneapolis
Journal
Friend-So yours was a case Of love
at first sight? Mrs. Getthere- Yes, in
deed ! fell desperately in love with
my dear husband the moment / set
eyes upon him | remember it as dis.
tinctly as # IL were yesterday. was
walking with papa on the beach at
Long Branch, when suddenly papa
stopped, and, pointing him out, said
There. my dear. is a man worth ten
millions. New York Weekly.
Jane" said lady rather sharply
to her cook Il must Insist that you
keep better hours and that you have
less company in the kitchen at night.
l42sl night you kept me from sleeping
because of the uproarious laughter OF
one OF your woman friends" "Yis,
mum, / know" was the apologize re.
ply; but she couldn't help IT, | was
a-tellin' OF her how you tried to mako