davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-01-28
kAilaU2Lc
SOUTHERN BAIL ~ s :
Trains leave Union ststicn Ale1s16r,
In Eject January 5, 1910.

n. B-Following schedule figures publish.
on!y 80 information. and are rot guarantee
7:47 A. M.-Daily Local between Washine
ton and Danvil!e.
s:47 4. M.-Dsily-Lccal for Harrison
burg, end way stations,
9.l7 s. M.-DailJ-U. s. Fast Rail. Stop
only for passengers for points south OF rThic'
scheduled to stop. firIi class coaches, slesr
ing cars to Birmingham ard dreEln3.roona
ses ping cars 10 New Orleans. Dining Ger
ssr,
1i.T +. II -Daily-Aail train. Coaches
for Manassas, Charlottesville, Lynchburs,
Danvillc and Greensboro. Sleeping cars
eus53!o TO Atlanta
III p. m.--Wesk Days-Loc2l for War.
ren'on AID strashurg Junction.
4:%2 =. 81. Dsily-brmingha special.
Aiken sc Jacksonville. Sleeper to BiruIipg-
ham: Ihroug 81 l.,, coaches between
washington ~ Jacksong'i.r. Dining car
sorTIcc. io2r!2. California four times
wsekly.
s:S7 P. 9.--Wesk pay.-Iocsi Tor g.,
riaoaha!g and Ts3 staa;ona CT EsGea;ss
6raDch.
5:l2 ?; A.-Dsiiy-LocaI for Warren
49,, Charlottesville.
1877 P. A.--Daily- Washington sld O.,
t3noog3 Limited TVS Lyrchhagc;, =
class coach ard sleeping c4Z& % Gc.rnh
knoxville end Chattanooga s. por 70 NrF
0r.e5ila. V ington 10 Roanoke. EiA:ng
car gerFica.
i1:02 z. M.-Daily-Eew YORK, Atlauta
ami sc Orleans Limited. Ill Puliaan
train, q. end observation cars to llsH' Or
lens 81 ping cars TO Ashs2ille, Atlanta,
Macon and Nav oslsa Sleeping cars 10
Charlotte, Din;n "a rervice.
1897 A M.-Da ly-h"mphis s,ec:ai.
Sleeping cars sn5 coaches for Roanoke, KuoS-
vile, Nashville. Chattanooga aud Mem.
phis. Dining car service, Washington
sleeping CO: S open lG:00 p. II.
Through trains from the Scath arrive 4 .
eeardr.a GLIB and e:GS Ia 1923 4. 81.
2.l3, 7:2S, 1925 and lbs P. Ii. daily. Ear
risonbu:G 1l:2S a. 81. week days had 1913
z. N. dbl From Charlottesville 9.46 4. N.
TRAINS ON BLUEAONT BRANCH
Lesve Alexandria Ky. 90. Station, week
days ct S:22 a. NJ, 3.55 and ass P. II. for
Blnemont; 6:33 ?. M week days FOR I,eesburg;
455 P. NJ. daily for Bluemont and 9:23 4.
NJ, local, on Sunday only for Bluemont.
For detailed schedule figures, tickets, Pull.
tnan reservation, etc., apply to
WILLIAM 6. LEAEW, Union Tickle
Agent. Aiezandns. Va
E. Fl. C0APMAN. General Manager
8. 81. HARDWICk, Pass. TraT. Mgr.
II. T. CARY, General Passenger Agent
L. 6. BROWN, General agent.
WsshirgtolI y. =
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-01-28

Cows and horses will require less feed and
be worth much more to you if you feed Lead
beaters Condition Powders. Zoe pae kaye
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-01-28
LEGAL NOTICES,


NIRGINlA.-in the Clerks Office Of the
Corporation Court Of the City OF Alex.
andria, on the 10th day of January, 1910.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-01-28

To Oscar W. Herring. late of 435 sonth
Washington street. Alexandria. Virginia,
and 1918 south 49th street, Philadelphia,
Pennsylvania.
You are hereby notified that the under
signed has been appointed BY the court to
take testimony in t. matter OF the suit for
divorce brought sgaiast Yen by your wife,
Mary E Herring, in the Court of Commc n
Pleas No. 8, of Philadelphia County, Penn.
sylvania, No. 2C7 of Mar Term, 1909.
a meeting for the purpose of hearing such
testimony will be hell before me, at my Office,
Ais Real Esnte Trust Building, Philsdelphis,
Pennsylvania, on Monday, March %, 1910, at
two o. lock p. M. at which meeting you may
appear ard offer any defense you may have
to this action.
CHESTER n. FARR. j., Master.
jan19 w4w
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-01-28

Ifthia combination does not appeal to you
write US your wante.
The Housewife
Edited by Lillian Dynevor Rice, formerly
Ed tor of The D lnestor, is bright, enter
tanning monthly magazine, containing many
good, wholesome serial and short stories; also
new fashions, social circle, cookinE class,
household Rel IS, lessons in economy, edlto lsl
outlook, neellework, mothers realm and
talks on hcslth.
Paris Modes Patterns
rne pattern free with each subscription
May be selected from any issue of Paris Modes
during the yesr.
Paris Modes
Beautifully illustrated. Always has beau.
tiful cover de.iga and is filled from cover to
cover with the latest styles of American and
European fashions.
The New York Tribune Farmer
is practical up to date weekly, read by the
successful farmer everywhere. The combina-
ton described in this notice cannot be bet
tered. Advantage of the offer should be taken
at once. Address
New York Tribune Farmer
154 Nassau Street. New York.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-01-28
w ashiDgt0a Southern r.

Schedule in eject Nov. Z, 1900.
Trains leave Union Station fer Washington
snd points north at 7 IS, SCS, g % ari So
q III = /, 80, 6 o., 5 Is, and - 81 2. NJ.
daily
For fredericksburg, Richnen1 &ri points
south at 81, 10 (iocal). s1d 10 ~ ,. m,
y 90, %, 4 ~, 5 Is, s OF and az p. N.
Accommodation for FREDERICKSBURG 1T is
p. m. caily.
NeTE:-Tinle OF arrivals and departures
ard connections not guaranteed.
". P. TAYLOR, Traffic Manager.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-01-28

NIRGINrA-Tn the Clerks Office of the
Circuit Court of the City Of Alexandria,
on the 18th day Of January, 1910,
Henry Dixon
vs.; In Chancery.
Memo. The Object Of this sui. is TO obt2n
for the complainant divorce from the bond
OF matrimony from the defendant, and for
general relief
happening By an affidavit fled in his
cause that the defendant, Martha Dixon, il q
nonresident of this State: 1t is Ordered. Thst
sid defendant appear here within ffte
days after due publication Of this order, aud
do what is necet sary to protect her Interests
in this suit, and that copy Of this order De
forth With inserted in the Alexandra Gszatte'
newspaper published in the City OF AIe1-
andria, once week for four.successive weeks.
end posted at the front door OF the Couis
EEVELLs GREENAWAY, Clerk.
Lewis q, Aachen, q. Janli "4E'.u
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-01-28
Alesas1ssi1ria CARTS,
FRIDAY EVENING. JAN. %, 1910.
1HE ROLLING STOCK BILL.


Dir. STROBE, OF Anie.s'. ha, ia'r0
duced bill ia the ate Senate, Sbich
viii, II j: bscomes Law, il 9 c. Q seTit Us
ir psiimeIs OF the TaTeDue CT hll The
cities in the slate. It is knowu ss The
rclling stock bill and distributes among
the counlies aud cities c! the site the
revenues derived ffcm tsxet'nu on that
property OF TIE railroads. The rressDt
lass gives to tbs CT. es or towns in
which the rosds are located the right
to collec. this tsx l. sou:d be loft
to The citiss which row trDy that
revenue, and would il & CT l!ss
CT something lie 800. 600 on The city
of Richmond. The pssssge OF the
bill wonld also save good deal to the
railroads, SIS 10 mskirg u? the assess-
menls, while TIE ate rate is the same,
the local rate ia mnch loser in some of
the countiss than 10 the cities, aud this
would be saved to the railroad comps.
niee.
Ttis proposition mas fortSer the idea
to ssgregste sll the property Of the statc
and give to toe ccuptifs aud cities the
revenue on sill properties, reserViog to
the state the tases from corporations,
licenses and tho like aud compelling the
counties and cities to pay their Own
school aud criminal charges OF every sort
includiog salaries Of tie Officials.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-01-28
Fifty years'experience of an Old Nurs

Mrs. Winslows Soothing Syrup is the
prescription of one of the hest female physc-.
ians ond nurses in the United States, and
has been used for fifty years with never-fai.
ing success by millions of mothers for their
children. 1t relieves the child from pain,
cures diarrhGa, gripping in the bowels, and
wind collie. By giving health to the child it
rests the mother. Twenty-Five cents bottle
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-01-28

The first minute sitter h IRE starts is The
most critical time, and the Columbus" Ell.
tinggisher being always ready. for use, make
you master of the situstio1, {. s. LEAD
BEATER d SONS.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-01-28
Washington, Alexandria 8
Dit. Vernon Railway.
- y II W.
IukYg ALEXANDRIA,


For Washington, from corner Prince and
Royal streets. week days. at $40, 6U5, 6".,
$50, 20, 6 55, 05, 715, 7 so, 740. 7 90, 20,
825, 835, $50, go, $50. $50,
10 10, 10 80, 10 90. II TO- Il 25, II Sc, !: 20 2,
M, II 10, y 90, 12 30, Il so, 10, %. 30,
90, 2 10, 20, G 50, 30, 8 %, e, 8 So, 5 SO
! / %, 4 80, 4 40, 455, s 10, %, 8 IS, 3 81,
SIS, GO, $50, g, 7G0, Us, Z Is, 3 90,
5 -, 90, 8 so, 10 90, 10 80, II 10 and Il 65
Sundays 90, 735, $40, $50, 40, Q 20, 9 20,
30, 10 Q 10 20, 10 10, II 90, II 20 sad IL 4C
| q. a., u 90, 1920, u 40, 10 90, 40 2 %
2 go, 2 10, 5 90. 5 20, 3 30, Or 4 &c, 10, 3 %
90, 90, 6 %, 20, s 40, z o. 720, no, S Go
| $50, 9GJ, $50, 10 co. 10 . sad II ~ =. IN
FOE MOUNT vRRFos:
LaaYe Alexandria for Mount Vernon, we: Z
days, IS, 656, 56, 81, 10 25, Il Is, d. NJ.
II 20, %, 2 IS, 80 40, s IS, SO, :, 50,
so, 9 so, 10 so An II 30 ,. n.
eupcsys-7o1 10, s 80, $50. 10 80, II SO ., 10.
l2 80, l 80. 2 3d. 2 80, 80, $50. so, 49,
s Sc ard II l6 p. m.
SCHEDULE FOR ALEXANDRIA CITY CAE.
NOaTHBoUSD.
Leave Ferry Wharf is, II, g 10, Q 81
10 %, II 60. II SO g. m; Il 50, %, s.
9 %, 2 80, 8 81, 4 %, ! 80, 5 %, S IS, S 80
Go, 10, rs, 90, 9 10 p. n.
souTHBoUND.
Leave Spring Park %, 30, s 55, IS
10 10, 10 45, II 20 e, m; y Is, y 5.
/ 20, ] so 80, 5 10, 30, 20, 50, { 80
s n5. 20 "5, ~. x. y !" az p n
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-01-28

NIRGINIA.-In the Clerks Office of the
Corporation Court of the City OF Alex
an.lria, on the 18th day of January, 1910.
Kathleen o. Tyler, Docket
W. in ch2nceFy.
George E.lDocke;t }
Memo. The object of this suit is to obtain
sn absolute divorce from the bond Of mstri-
mony for the complainant from the defen-
dabt, and that complainant be allowed t, re-
sumo her maiden name. and for such other.
further and general relief, as to equity shall
seem meet.
i1It appearing by en- affidavit 6led in thu
cause that the defendant. Geo. E. Docket,
is a nol-re.ident of this State: 1t is o..
dered, That said defendant appear here with.
in fifteen days after due publication of this
order, and do what is necessary TO protect
his interests in this suit, and that a copy Of
this order be forthwith inserted liz the AlsIat,-
dria Gazette, e newspaper published in the
city Of Alexandria, once week for four sue.
cessive weeks and posted at the front door Of
the Court House of this city.
A cepy-TEsTE
NEWELL 8. GREENATAY, Clerk,
Robinson Aoacure
Edmund Hill T. janis wlT.tu
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-01-28

Harriet L. Maloney
vs. In chGncery.
Irving B. Malorey
Memo. The object of this suit is to obtain
an ABSOLUTE divorce by Harriet i. Maloney
from Irving B. Maloney upon tie ground OF
unlap fnl d.sertion and abandonment Tor
more thsn threa years prior 20 the institution
of this suit and for he custody Of the infant
children, james Irving and Andrew Bradley
Maloney
In appearing by an affidavit fled in this
cause that the defendant. Irving B Maloney,
is nonresident of this State: 1t is Ordered,
That said defendant appear here within fiji
teen lays after due publication Of this order,
and do what is necessary TO protect his in
terest in this suit, End that copy of this or.
der be forthwith inserte in the AeIaIdr
Gazette, newspaper pu ished in the City OF
Alexandria, once week for four successive
weeks, and posted at the front door of the
Court House OF this city.
A copy-TEsTE.
NEWELL i GREENAWAY, Clerk.
Samuel G. Brent, p. q. iani0 w4w.m
NOTICE.-Having qualified as executor
Of the will and estate of WILLIAM 2.
WOOLLS, SG., deceased, all persons having
claims against the said estate are hereby noti-
fed to present the same, duly verified to me
for settlement, and ell persons indebted TO
said estate are hereby notified to make
promt payment Of such Indebtedness to me.
Respectfully,
WILLIAM WOOLLs. Executor.
,an4 lot
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-01-28
WOMAN CAPTURES BURGLAR.

WOnaN YAK u 20 DUhOL \ De-
a bantam burglar was DO match fDr
Mrs. Glare L;ndensuer, weller Haight,
ia rough.aDd.tumble Gzh' In her
apartments, in New York, where she
fcuad him yesterday afternoon packing
up The silVerRere.
Mrs. Lindensuer returned from q
shopping tour, and landed strong right
on the little mans Jaw before she took
of her hat. a few more Well-directed
punches, aud her query, "G0t enough
brought the ready response, "You bat. .
With a firm hold on bis coat collar she
led the culprit to the nearest police
station.
In court the Judge said she deserved q
Carnegie medal, and held the mao, who
said he was Isidore R,thEsn, 20 year.
old, in So, 600 bail for ;ri7',
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1910-01-28

Resr.Aduiral Dyer, who commanded
The B.ltimore ct the battle of Ma5i!s
bay, died ct Merose, Mass yesterday.
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1910-03-15
THE DAIRY COW
What the Daryman Should Know About the Cow He is Feeding

pairs the broken down tissues of the
body and which builds new tissue.
The developement of muscle, hoof,
hair, horn, and hide is wholly depend
ent upon the heterogeneous part of the
food. Protein is necessary IN supply
ing the heterogeneous part of the milk;
namely, casein and albumen.
Carbohydrates contain 10 nitrogen,
and do not aid in tissue building.
They serve as food in the animal body
and are used in making the nOn-ni-
trogenous portions of the milk. They
exist in the feeds as sugars, starches
and also as crude fibre.
Ether Extract, so called because it
is extracted by means of ether, con-
slsts principally of fats and oils. 1t
serves practically the same purpose in
the animal body as does the carbohy-
drates. Its fuel value is however, "a
times as great.
Dry matter as the term signifies is
feed minus it's water content.
The following table shows the COM
position of some of our common feeds.
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1910-03-15

1t is an acknowledged fact that feed
ing is just as important as breeding
in developing profitable dairy herd.
The breeder must understand the
principles of breeding if he is to
succeed, and 1T is Of equal import
ance that the feeder understands the
underlying principles of feeding.
There are some things that every
dairyman must know about the feeds
he is feeding if he uses them to the
best advantage.
He should have knowledge OF their
composition in order to determine the
relative value of the feeds at his dis
posal, and also to assist i'll determ1n-
ing the quantity of feed necessary for
each animal. In studying the com
position of feeds the chemist divides
the nutrients into three groups; name
ly, protein, carbohydrates, and ether
extract.
Protein is the heterogeneous part OF
the feeds and is the most valuable as
we'll as the most costly of the three
groups. 1t is the substance which re-
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1910-03-15
OF HETEROGENEOUS
TO Neutrality-suspicious.
NUTRIENTS

A certain quantity of heterogeneous
nutrients is required to repair the
waste of the body, and to build new
tissues. The non heterogeneous nutri-
ents serve as fuel in the body an
must be supplied regularly for this
purpose. In addition to this, it the
animal is giving milk, both nitrogen
GUS and n-n1trogenous nutrients
must be supplied in the proportions
needed In milk production. From
this it is evident that there is def
mite ratio existing between these nu-
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1910-03-15
SUCCULENCE AND PALATA-
BILITY

Although feed may contain GER
tain amount of digestible nutrients,
they will not serve their full purpose
unless the food is palatable. A GER
tain amount of succulent feed in a ra-
ton is also of value, especially for
milk production. This is why corn
silage and roots are SO highly priced
by the dairyman.
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1910-03-15

by actual digestion experiments.
Any good work on the subject of feed
ing will give tables showing the aver
age digestible nutrients in all of our
common feeds. Every feeder must
make allowance for the condition Of
the feeds which he is using, for GER
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1910-03-15
DIGESTIBlLITY

While the total amounts of the vari-
GUS nutritive substances gives some
idea of the comparative values of the
different feeds it is of far greater i'm
portance to know the digestibility Of
the different nutrients as determined
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1910-03-15

1t will be noticed from this table
that there is a considerable variation
in the digestibility of the nutrients OF
the different feeds.
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1910-03-15

tain feeds of poor quality often do not
contain one-half of the digestible nu-
trients as does the same feed of high
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1910-03-15
These Prosperous Times Warrant The Best

one quarter inch thick, covered with an iron gra
put there to Stay-yOu can Seeit.
The reservoir is all copper, heated like q {
Kettle through copper pocket stamped fro
one piece of copper setting against left ha
lining of fire box. 1t boils 10 gallons of waite
and, by turning lever, the frame and reserve
moves away from fire. This feature is patent
and is used only on the Majestic.
Remember these three Important feature
The material the Majestic is made ofthe .Da,
1T IS put fogether-the reserDoir-then glance
at a few of the other features possessed by
the Majestic that follow:
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1910-03-15

of everything for the farmer-and the farmers
wife. You would not for minute think of
reverting to your grandfather's method of reap
ing grain with the scythe and cradle. Why
then should your good wife suffer the annoy
ances and Inconvenience of an old style cook
stove, cheap range. The best binder, mower,
pillow, or cultivator is none too good for your
use-the best Range that money can buy Is
none too good for your WIFE.
The Great Majestic Range is indeed worthy OF
your most careful consideration. 1t Is q Range
with a reputation built on HONOR of the best
materials = and while the first cost OF a Great
The ranch. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1902-1914, 1910-03-15

All doors drop down
and form perfect and
rigid shelves. MoHeabie
open racks slide out,
automatically holding
anything they contain.
Open end ash pan pre-
vents shoveling ashes
out of ash pit. Ventilated
ash pit prevents floor
from burning. Ash cup
catches ashes that would
otherwise fall on the floor.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-01-25
NIGHT RIDERS

Carlisle, KY, Jan. 24.-H. B. Tai.
ley, who recently moved here from
Sharpsburg, stated today that he
has sent to Governor Wilson the
names of the night riders implicated
in the murder of Hiram Hedges, a
Nicholas county farmer, in March,
1908. Talley said he can give the
governor sufficient evidence to bring
the guilty parties to justice.
Hedges was called to the door of
his home and killed by party of 200
night riders. He pleaded with them
for his life, saying he would destroy
his tobacco plant beds. but they re-
fused to listen and shot him down.
Louisville, KY. Jan. 21.-The
Evening Post says:
I'm line with the investigation of
the opera tions of the Burley Tobac-
co Society the federal detectives in
Cincinnati have been looking into
the outlawry in central Kentucky
and have made thorough investi
cation into the Hedges case. They
have information, they claim, posi-
lively establishing the identity of
the man who fired the shot which
killed Hedges, was a soldier in the
United Sta,es army.
In addition to the identity of the
slayer it is said the federal officers
have the names of practically all
those who were in this raid as well
as in many others and that this in
formation will be brought out at
the proper time to secure indict
ment."
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-01-25

The fight for relief from the rob.
berry of the meat trust, which start
ed in Cleveland last week, is spread
ing to all parts of the country and
the Government itself is preparing
to take hand by prosecuting the
National Packing Co. composed of
Armour, Swift and Morris. Re
ports have been prepared showing
the increase of rs per cent in the
living expenses of the people, de-
creasing the purchasing power of a
dollar until the much talked.o sixty
cent dollar of 1896 has became an
actual reality of 1910. Starting with
meat and meat products the prohibit
tive prices have been applied to all
food products until many poor peo
pie are suffering for the necessities
of life. The movement, which is
becoming national, is causing a
panic among the Republican pro-
tectors of the robber barons and
they will make an effort to stop the
rising tide of popular opposition to
the iniquities of the high tariff, that
makes such things possible. Once
burn it into the brains of the peo-
pie that the higher the tariff is,
the more it costs them to live and
there will be revolt against pro-
section that will cause a political rev.
Olution this fall.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-01-25
A Scheme That Failed.

''Did you hear about Samuels ?"
asked Mrs. Graymare's husband.
''No, | didn't hear about Sam
uels," the lady answered. "When
you have anything to tell why don't
you tell it?S
eyes, dear. Well, Samuels was
going home the other night when a
footpad shot at him, and the ball hit
a latchkey in Samuels' vest pocket,
and his life was saved. So you see
what good a latchkey is"
Indeed! If Samuels had been
going home at a reasonable hour he
wouldn't have met any footpad /;
second, he carries $4,000 insur-
ance, payable to his wife, and if it
had it not been for that key she
would be a rich widow now. So if
you are hunting around for a latch
key you will have to bring home
some better story than that one;
that's all. Pm going to bed now,
and out goes the gas in two ticks.
Latchkey, indeed w-London Globe.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-01-25

The Owensboro Messenger b.
printing the ballots for the Demo
cratic primary election Feb. 2 The
contract calls for 10000, or fifty per
cent more than the Democratic vote
in the last election. There will be
about 6, 500 ballots sent to this coun.
ty. Stanley's name comes first on
the ballot under the device of tobac-
CO plant, Clements and Givens come
in the order named, each under his
picture as device.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-01-25
Playing the Part.

An official of the United States
bureau of fisheries said recently of
a fishing excursion.
81 once made a fishing excursion
to a stream that flowed behind a
lunatic asylum. AS | sat and smoked
on the bank, watching my cork, |
noticed strange object floating
down toward me with the current.
/ saw that it was a man. He had
all his clothes on, and he was swim
ming in the strangest way. l veri-
ly believe every part of him was
submerged but one nostril.
"'HiP shouted. What are you
doing there?'
"He lifted his head from beneath
the surface, and then, before draw
ing it underneath again, he snap
ped:
"'Sh-sh! Don't interfere! I'm
a submarinep"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-01-25
A Sensitive Policeman.

An irascible policeman of Paris
arrested a peaceful citizen for call
ing him a "geometrician." The
citizen was talking rather loudly to
the proprietor of an old curiosity
shop, with whom he was at variance
as to the value of alleged antiqui-
ties offered for sale in the estab-
lishment. The policeman in an ex-
cess of zeal entered the shop and
expostulated with the citizen for
shouting at the top of his voice.
"You are a geometrician," was
the retort of the person addressed.
"What is that vile name you call
ed me ?" queried the policeman.
"Go and study Euclid" replied
the other, who was then seized by
the collar of his overcoat and
marched to the station. There the
too sensitive policeman was inform
ed by his superior officer that there
was not even shadow of a case
against the person arrested.