The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-03-04

Time was when chaperons existed as were ehaperons, but that was many many moons ago.
 In those days the matrons who were apnointed to hold sway over the des- tinies of parties and frolics, and see that young women behaved decorously, were nothing less than perfect "gorgons, whatever they may be, who observed so closely that not even the arch of an eyebrow or the winking of an eye, or the smiling of a smile, went by unnoticed.
 Sitting in a corner with her knitting, devoutlv attending to her duties, sat this omnipresent person, like a Nefi'aoie Fate" with pince-nez perched high upon her aouiline nose, so that she might care fully note the signs of the times.
 Once in while the chaperon was mas ouline, although the very cognomen IS suggestive of femininity, ogre-like anu monstrous with all-seeing eyes and rules for behaviour as strict as the. laws of the Medes and Persians.
 One elderly friend of mine tells me of her courtship, which was superVlseo by her grandfather.
 Whenever Sweet William appeared at the gate grandfather at once turned ui in the drawing room, an interested party to the conversation, or sitting in the neX' room. ostensibly reading the newspaper overhearing every word of the conversa- ton.
 "Onee in while," records my elderly friend, "when I essayed remark It es' caued srandfathers acute ears, but only then because he was fiutterins his news paper or clearing his throat
 "Rebecca, Rebecca, that was very silly remark" would come from his lips hoping. I suppose, to make me repeal what I had said without his hearing And will you believe me when l tel you that finally William proposed to me by writing the bald statement upon newspaper
 " VIII you marry me?' and I had to sit there perfectly unperturbed, not dar ing to show any emotion for fear grand father would ask me what the matter was"
 How dreadful!' I exclaimed. as thought how the times had changed
 "Oh. those were parlous days, said my elderly friend, and no unmarried men or women were ever left together and if no one else could fill the posi- ton of chaperon, a small brother or SIS ter was dispatched at respectable ols- l tance to see that all went we'll There has always been strategy in<love as well as in war, according to the best authorities. even the most pefieet oi 1ancees, Juliet. stealing march on hei eood nurse. and sneaking out on the ha,oony to get word with her beloved Romeo. and 1t fig safe to say that the closely chaperoned folk of former gen erations were as clever at tricks as some of their grandchildren.
 | Rut those things haprened a long ,ong time ago and now the cheperon while not quite as extinct as the nasto- don performs her duties which are real ly more honorary than active. In iaci one seldom hears nowadays of a cha heron who succumbs to nervous pros tration or even the more modern neur- n asthenia because her duties are too on erous.
 "Once upon a time,'' relates the ha elor of the old, old school, T was invited to go on hay ride With a party of young folks. It was beau- t,f,il moonlight night and everything mite conducive to a delightful even ing"
 pYou should never have gone l pro- tested. knowing how old fashioned this particular bachelor happened to be. "Anyone who had been on one of these frolics I suppose would have known what to expect" said the bach : elor "and I suppose you are right in saving I shouldn't have accepted the invitation but I went and being tyro merely sat an interested spectator and watched the extremely undignified yoinps-on with surprise and amuse ment"
 "What did you expect the young folks to do?" I asked eagerly. Act like tbev were at funeral or mid-week prayer meeting?
 T was so shocked at the antics. said he, that finally I was driven tc elk where the chaperon was
 "You see that very gay young per son tickling her next door masculine neighbor with straw?' was the re- sponse.
 .you mean the young person who but now tried to step on the fingers of the young man wno was arisihs and who threw the wreath Of flowers ovar the head of the stout gentleman crowning him Queen O the May a few minutes ago?" l asked.
 "One and the same came the inIor- nation, "and we all wish somebody |yould hurl her over precipice--she is