The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1910-03-31

lth Fairy-"Hay-Seed." collins NJ,
Gravesl.
Titania-'Tis better far TO be
called hayseed than to be a hay
seed. Good master hay-seed | pray
you search diligently TO learn why
the Court Physician, Or. Pratt. is
not here Haste away. Fairies
exitl
Titania-To sleep will | lay me
down on this dank and dirty ground.
when wakest and my eyelids rub.
/ hope Oberon will be home from the
Bennington Club. (Reclines with
cushions, etc. and sleepsl.
Oberon lEnters and speaksl:-
Now TO find my dainty queen and
sprinkle upon her pearly ears the
Juice of the flowers; then will she
believe whatever she first hears. All,
there comes my Fucker. Hol Rake!
Shovel, Hitler. Tell me whittier
away hast thou went. Hast thou the
flower?
Puck-Aye, It's here.
Oberon-Wel done, Fucker, Didst
journey far?
Puck-To the far off land Of Peru,
my fairy Lord, whence | bring you
gentle news that Hapgood Inca OF
Peru. is on the road to Montpelier
with Frank Howe as running mate.
To each | gave box of Aliens foot
ease and a cake of Gibson's mineral
soft soap for the way, methinks, is
long and haId
Oberon-FooEsh one, you have
wasted The soap. They will never
use it. Didst note else?
Puck-While passing the country
club on my way hither most won
derful phenomena appeared before
my bewildered eyes. A fountain
arose in the midst of the golf links,
spouting-not water but earth and
sods and stones Strong men ran
for their lives. Methough at first a
new volcano had erupted-the air
cleared and | beheld our postmaster
whacking at a little white ball.
left him a bottle of Hoods sarsa
parilla for that tired feeling.
Oberon-You should have given il
10 lHt Spectators.
(Oberon continues speech
Get thee away, O my Fucker
fain that thou woulds't find for me
That magic tree whose branches bear
sweet fruit,
Which mortal men call lemon
Methinks perchance, that thou might
squeeze
The drops Of juice from out one lem
on
Which. drop by drop may apply
To the vocal cords Of my frienC
Graves.
Wherefore he wouldst break forth ii
song.
That all the good folk round about
Would rise and shout and shou
again;
Amt it funny what a difference
Just few drops OF lemon make?
Didst ever eoniure o thou Fucker
Through that dull black pate Of thine
That twas not good for man alone t
live?
Did'st ever note that lonesome COZ
ner
Where win and Dick and Palmer lin
ger longer
Deserted by their good friends Jo
and Bake?
'Tis my Titanias sweet will and min
That thou should'st find in mortal re
gions
Sweet maidens three, whose charm
would bring
These lonely creatures to their ser
ses.
Search all the world till thou dos
find them
And | will wave the wand to bin
them.
| charge thee, by my love for HI
sweet Titania
Thou Fucker
To search the world OF human sp,
ces
Till thou dost find
A druggist by the name of Gokay
And a doctor by the name of Hurle,
For to my certain knowledge it ha
come
That each signs for the love of on
fair dame,
And as by all the rules of earthl
love
But one of them can hope to git he
Tis |, the King. who shall appoir
the gutter.
And by my rule shall they abide.
AS thou proceedst on thy EARTH
mission
Thou black faced Fucker,
One further charge | lay upon thee
Seek thou out from towns and cite
A place more beautiful than all II
rest,
Where man have organized together
And call themselves the "BennIngto
Club"
For it has come to my attention
That those same men think they CO
sing; and act
Before their fellowmen,
And crack jokes and dance the ligl
step.
Costumed all in gorgeous raiment
} From their midst | bid you summon
For the pleasure OF my Queen,
Those with voices sweet and SCOT
ing
: Say, Ross and Bates and Claren
? Holden,
Perchance dance by Battles, GRAY
and Braley
! Would lull my sweet Queen to l
| nose