The Norfolk weekly news-journal. (Norfolk, Neb.) 1900-19??, 1910-07-15

We have been advised to quit smok.
ing gradually We tried that. six |
years ago, and we are still Quitting
Some men laugh so loud and hard |
at their own Jokes that they cannot |
hear you even if you make an effort
to laugh.
We are terribly ashamed of it, but |
sometimes a visiting girl is so pretty |
we catch ourselves being untrue to
the home girls, and admiring her.
This is called free country, but If
a man chooses to tie his COW to your
front door what can you do about it?
If you complain, you are called a
crank.
The man who works in a smelter,
or fires a battleship engine, hasn't
any hotter job than the gent who
spends most of his time watching the
thermometer.
Most OF the stories about the "won.
derful American newspapers" are
printed in the American newspapers;
we don't hear the people talking much
along that line.
After four years of snickering and
Sinking around about marrying a
second time. an Atchison widower
finally made it; and you should see
what he drew!
It's a wonder l get along as we'll
as | do with my WIFE" Alois Phillip
said today. II am compelled to eX
plain all my jokes to her. And that's
no way to treat a husband"
The average boy anticipates the
cramps" when he goes in swimming
as persistently as woman expects to
be driven to nervous prostration
And neither affliction is very com
mon.
This is the way l get it: When l
preach a sermon, half the people say
it was pretty good, but that | hired
someone to write, while the other
half say the sermon was worthless. =
Parson Irvine.
You can usually tell how much
sense a man has by his laugh. We
lnl toll
out fools and idiots by the way they
laugh. We can also tell a man who
is deaf by the way he talks.
If you want to assist in buying the
silver watch the white men will give
TO a darby man who runs his wife,
send your contribution to this office
not later than 6 p. m. tomorrow. The
presentation will take place tomorrow
evening.
Daysey Mayme Appleton is visiting
in New York, and nothing occurs in
Atchison that she cannot beat. We
have an idea Daysey Mayme cuts
mighty little ice in New York, but you
wouldn't think so from reading her
letters.
Have you a certain expression you
use a great deal? If you have, de-
pend upon it that your friends wish
you would quit it, One clever man of
our acquaintance is always saying,
Don't you know" and we some
times keep from screaming with diff
Guilty.
Colonel Roosevelt is such a lucky
dog that the fact that he was married
a second time has been forgotten. In
ordinary life. the man who marries a
second time is picked at constantly,
and the women are always demanding
particulars of the death of his first
wife.
The word advice" should be cut
out of the language. 1t has caused
more bitterness between friends and
acquaintance than any other thou
sand words in the dictionary. Do
you keep a supply of advice on tap.
ready for instant use? Most people
accept advice as abuse.
Lysander John Appleton was more
tiresome than usual this afternoon. in
his loafing at one of the stores. AS
he wandered out to look for new vic
Tins, man said: IF | should kill
him, l suppose his kin would have me
arrested, go to Tom MoXcey, county
attorney, and as promptly as though
he were a useful and worthy citizen"
An old-fashioned father learned
that his son was calling on a girl
every night and remaining until mid
night. The old-fashioned father went
to the girls father, who happened to
have sense. and they arranged for a