Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1910-08-05
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handkerchief and fan languages"
Doctor, is it absolutely necessary tt
operate on me? 'N-no; but it's Gus
tomary."
Her Father-Blanche, why doesn't
Mr.. Linger go home earlier? Blanche
I'm why, Dad
so he has lost faith in deep breath.
ing?" Yes; it wouldn't keep his hair
from falling oul."
Pa-But, young man, do you think
you can make my little girl happy?
Suitor-Do L? Say, wish you could
a seen her when proposed.
What did your wife say when you
stayed out so late last night?" 81
don't know. She hasn't finished tell
ing it to me yet."-Detroit Free Press
Gentleman (hiring valel)-Then 1
understand you have some knowledge
of barbering. You've cut hair, off and
on2 Applicant-Off, sir, but never on.
Tommy's Mother-Why aren't you
good boy. like Willie Bjones? Tom.
my-Huh! It's easy enough for him
to be good; he's sick most of the time
Teacher-Didn't Jimmy Green help
you to do this sum? Willie-No'm
Teacher-Are you sure he didn't? Will
lie-He didn't help me; he did it all.
Did yez know thot Casey TUX out
a thousand dollars loife insurance
only the da-ay before he wuz kilt?''
Sure! Casey wuz alwa-ays lucky
Life.
ple!" Il certainly do" why, she
is so short and he is SO tall" ''He
is very short with her."-Houston
Post.
Father-What! You want to marry
my daughter? Why, sir, you can't
support her. / can hardly do it my
self. Suitor-C-can't we chip in to-
gether?
Young Wife-This dish, dearest, is
an original composition Of my own
Husband-Well, / should rather, my
pet, that you would cook after the old
masters.
Mrs. Caller-Do you know the wo
man next door we'll enough to speal
to? Mrs. Subbubs-Well enough?
|, knew her too well to speak to-Sat
urday Sunset.
Mrs. Hutton-We are organizing {
piano club, Mr.. Flatleigh. Will yot
join us? Flatleigh-With pleasure
Mrs. Hutton. What pianist do yol
propose to club first?
2 Whats become of Jakes?" He
, gone all to pieces" You don't sa.
q SO! Nervous prostration?" mo; h
D looked for a gas leak with lighte'
E candle."-Baltimor American.
e Judge-Why did you burn your barr
II down, just after getting it insured
/. Farmer-Your honor, a poor man lik
Is me can't afford to have barn an
insurance, too.-Meggendorfer Blattel
Is please contribute to our fund t
s send a missionary to the cannibals
q Il won't-I'm a vegetarian and don
u believe in it. But I'll send them som
n cereals, If you wish. h."-Clevelan
& Leader.
e Hobbs-I guess the elevator is ou
3 Of order. What is that sign on tn
door? Dobbs-The elevator man mus
be bit of a wag. 1t says, pleas
~ pardon me for not rising. ."-Bosto
Transcript.
- "My good man." said the kind oil
a lady to the ex-convict who had calle
- begging, "what were you in for!
;, "Robbing the guests in hotel, mum
,e "Ah! were you the proprietor or tn
,r head waiter?"
IS Fred-There seems to a lot mol
r fuss made of Miss AS singing tina
,e Miss KS, and l am sure Miss K hs
le by far the richer voice. Jack-Al
le yes; but Miss A has by far the richt
ct father.-Boston Courier.
e 81 see, my man, you have had man
trials" exclaimed kind hearted ol
lady to tramp, who had called upc
her for assistance. YES" replied tt
~ tramp, "and the worst of it thel
ie were 80 many convictions"
% Sir / have no home" began tt
is seedy looking man, and" IN
q taxes to pay, no rent, no coal bill
70 no worry over the rise in milk prices
70 Permit me to congratulate you."
ie ie have no job and" Lucky chal
" No danger of being fred" But l a
~ serious. I have no money and
~ mo temptation to spend 1t foolish
" on able-bodied beggars. Why, you
q veritable child of fortune. Goo
-, day!"
A.. Good as Refuaed.