Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1910-08-12

Even lawyers sometimes grow tired o.
the innumerable technicalities that serve
to delay and obstruct court trials nova
days, as we'll as Of the not always wise
decisions that, it Is darkly limited, have
at some times and some places been hand
ed down from the bench. No discreet law
yer, of course, would publicly find fault
with the weapons of litigation at his dis
posal, much less venture to openly ques
ton the acumen of the court; but an ole
attorney, who lives less than a millior
miles from Kansas City, has submitted
the following as somewhat typical-il
somewhat exaggerated-of modern lega
procedure:
SCENE, A COURTROOM.
Cast: Judge, sheriff, county attorney
p~ettifoggers, Jury, witnesses. etc. Enter
Judge Know All, followed by sheriff
court stenographer, etc.
Court: Mr.. Sheriff. quarantine court.
Sheriff: Hay thar, you all The HorraDle
circus court Of the 18th ridiculous district,
If the state of Texarkhoma, is. now In Sc
cession pursuant to bankruptcy.
Court: adjusting his Colts 45, Ink wells,
3ocket, glasses, etc.) Come to order gen.
temen. Cooking Colts Is. and opening
docket. The first case on call is, The
State of Texarkhoma VS.. Johen Doe. What
says the state In this case. No. 4-11-447.
County Attorney: In the case of the
State Of Texarkhoma vs. John Doe, the
state announces ready.
Lawyer Pettifog: Your Honor, the de-
PENDANT demurs to the inflammation filed
herein by the county attorney, and as
grounds for such demerrer respectively
shows the court:
1st. hat the inflammation filed herein
Is not written, printed or drawn on paper
- thA fn~u@h RhIo1yrnun urfSfh nn9
strength required by sections numbered 16
to / of the Reviled Code of the State of
Texarkhoma.
Court: Well, II seems that the county
attorney never does anything in the man.
ner provided In the statutes. Mr.. County
Attorney, what have you to offer to over
come the contentious OF Mr.. Pettifogg?
County Attorney: With Your Honor's
permission, I wish to offer the affidavit
" the ~tanitor that the inflammation fled
herein is drawn on paper OF the dimen-
sions and strength, as required by the
statutes In UGH case made and provided,
and as shown by measurements made by
The said ~Janitor with the official yardstick
of this honorable court.
Court: Gentlemen, how often will ! be
required to remind you that affdavits are
not admissible In cases Of this character7
I want you to produce the authority sup
porting your contentious. Show me the
law. Bring forth the official yardstick
and proceed with the measurements in the
presence OF the court. I declare, that I
never saw the like in all my experience as
a judge OF the court of common spells.
Enter keeper of the official yardstick,
bearing official yardstick.
Pettifogg: Your Honor, I wish to OBJ
ject to the manner In which the keeper
OF the official yardstick is approaching
You Honor.
Court: Your objection is overruled, Mr..
Pettifogg.
Pettifogg: With all due respect to Your
Honor. 1 wish to except.
Court: Mr.. Slobographer, note the ex-
ception Of Mr.. Pettifogg. The keeper Of
the official yardstock will pass the official
Yardstick to Mr.. Pettifogg for his examin-
alton.
Pettifogg: examining official yard
sticD-Your Honor, 7 wish to call Your
Honor's attention to the fact that my ex-
animation OF the official yardstick reveals
to me, as can be shown by the signs of
Zodiac, that the official yardstick has
been used within the last seven wears bv
the county surveyor, and without the per
mission OF this honorable court. / object
to the state using the official yardstick
OF this honorable court for the purpose OF
measuring the inflammation filed herein by
the county attorney.
County Attorney: Your honor. admit
ting the contentious Of Mr.. PettifoGg to
be true, 1t is equally true, as your honor
well knows, and as Mr.. Pettifogg will ad-
NIT, that the official yardstick, was by
the order of this honorable court, and
after its unlawful use by the county sur
veyor. immersed in the official whitewash
tub of this honorable court, which. ac-
cording to the ruling decision as rendered
by chief JuEtice Of the peace wisdom. in