Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-11-18

woman for her money. But I've been
through little hell of my own in my
time, and it's not alluring to contem-
plate a return to it. There's nothing
mad enough nor bad enough to stop
me. What've l got to do?"
Kellogg beamed his triumph. You'll
try it on, then?"
I'll try anything on. It's a con-
temptible, low lived piece of business.
but good may come of it; you can't
tell. What've I got to do?"
Slipping back, Kellogg knitted his
fingers and stared at the ceiling, smil-
ing family to himself as he enumer-
ated the conditions that first appealed
to his understanding as essentials to-
ward success.
First pick out your town, one OF
1000 or 5000 inhabitants, no larger. I'd
Suggest at hazard guess some place
in he interior of Pennsylvania. Most
of such towns have at least one rich
man with a marriageable daughter
but we'll make sure of that before we
settle on one. OF course any suburban
town is barred.
How SOP"
"Oh, they don't count. The girls al
ways know people in the city-can get
there easily. That spoils the game"
How about the game laws?"
there isn't an open or close season, and
the huntings always good, but there
are a few precautionary measures to
be taken if you want to be sure Of
bagging an heiress. You won't like
most of EN-"
Like 'em! I'll live by them!"
We'll, here come the things you
mustn't do. You mustn't swear or use
slang; you must't smoke and you
mustn't drink
"Heavens Are these people as in
human as all that?"
Worse than that. 1t might be fa-
tai if you were ever seen in the hotel
bar. And, to begin with, you must
refuse all invitations of any sort,
whether to dances, parties, church So
ciables or even Sunday dinners"
why Sunday dinners?"
Because Sundays the only day
you'll be invited. Dinner on weekdays
is from 12 to 1890, and it's strictly a
business matter, no time for guests.
But you needn't fret. They won't ask
you till they've sized you up pretty
carefully"
oh"
Moreover, you must be very par
ticular about your dress. 1t must be
absolutely faultless, but very quiet.
Clothing sober, dark grays and blacks
and plain, but the very last word as
to cut and fit. And everything must
be in keeping, the very best of shirts,
collars, ties, hats, socks, shoes, under
wear Kellogg caught Duncan's
look and laughed. Your laundress
will report on everything, you know,
so you must be impeccable."
"I'll even that, whatever it is
Be very particular about having
your shoes polished, shave daily and
manicure yourself religiously, but don't
let 'em catch you at it."
Would they raid me if they did,"
And then, my son, you must work.
Kellogg paused to let his lesson sink
in. After a time Duncan observed
plaintively. Il knew there was a catch
in it somewhere. What kind of work."
1T doesn't make any difference, so
long as you get and hold some job in
the town."
We'll. that lets me out. You'll have
to sic some other poor devil on this
glttering proposition of yours. l
couldn't hold a job in
Wait! I'll tell you how to do it in
Just a minute
Il don't mind listening. but
You'll cinch the whole business by
going to church without a break.
Don't ever fail-morning and evening,
every Sunday. Don't forget that"
Why"
It's the most important thing "f
all"
Does going to church make such a
hit with the young female Jasper-the
Jasperette, as it were?"
It'll make YOU more solid than any
thing else with her pepper and NOM
mer. and that's very necessary when
you're a candidate for the ducats as
we'll as their daughter. You must
work and you must go to church"
THAT can't be all. Surely YOU can
think of something else"
Those are the cardinal rules
church and work until you've landed
your heiress. After that YOU can move
back to civilization. Now, as soon as
you strike your town you want to
make arrangements for board and
lodging in some old woman's house,
preferably an old maid. You'll he sure
to find at least half a dozen of 'em
willing to take boarders. but YOU want
to ne equally sure to pick out the
one that talks the most, so that she'll