Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1910-10-07

An East Indian Clerk Who
SJumped an English Official.
BEAT HIM AT HIS OWN GAME.
In the Fine Art of Cireumlocution 8abv
Tara Chand Made His Pretentious
Auditor General Appear Like Rank
Arnateur-A True Story.

The government Offices i'm Whitehall
are supposed to use red tape pretty
freely. but the supply in London is
nothing to what IL is i'm India. Let
us outliae briefly the true history Of
Babu Tara Chand. late of the subordi-
nate branch of the Indian civil serv
ice The story is true.
Babu Tara Chand was u deputy sub
assistant clerk I'm the cutcherry of
deputy collector in the Swankibagh
district Of southern Bengal. The in
land postage rate in India ut that
period was three pies. or about
farthing. for letters weighing one tola.
One fine day when the officials had
concluded the annual or biennial over
haul OF the books of the cutcherry il
was discovered that by some I'M
heard of turpitude one stamp of the
value of three pies q farthiug) had
been unaccounted for. The stamp
could be clearly traced to the desk
and control of Babu Tara Chand
Thence 1t had disappeared.
Babu Tara Chand was not summa-
rily dismissed; neither was he made
the target of a criminal prosecution. In
stead he received lengthy letter on
blue foolScap paper, pointing out I'm
detail how certain property of her
most gracious majesty the queen en-
presto wit, one Indian postage stamp
of the value Of three pies-had been
committed TO his care on n certain
date and that up to the date of writ
Il 30. i
forthcoming OF said postage stamp.
The communication fell upon the
luckless Tara Chand like bolt from
the blue. 1t left but three courses
open TO bim-viZ:
(al Resign from the service.
(bD Explain the disappearance OF the
farthing postage stamp in a manner
deemed satisfactory by the auditor.
(c) Recoup the farthing.
OF these three courses It will be
obvious to any person with the shall
lowest knowledge of the Bengali char
| acter that the third one (cI was from
the outset beyond the pale OF con-
sideration. The first ca was also too
| terrible to contemplate. Therefore
J Babu Tara Chand sat down and COM
posed letter which was n masterpiece
| in its way and I'm which he requested
to be relieved from routine service for
period OF four weeks to enable him
| to make such q search among the rec
ords of the department. etc. as might
enable him to trace the missing stamp.
This reasonable request was readily
granted.
-Four weeks later Babu Tara Chand
| applied for a further term OF two
| weeks wherein to draw up a report
upon the results of his Investigations
in pursuit of the Grant postage stamp.
| This. having passed through the eight
cen or nineteen different hands neces-
| sary for such an application, was in
turn duly granted, and at the end OF
the fortnight Tara Chand submitted n
report Of 216 foolscap pages. explain
| ing that, despite the most diligent ef-
| forts and Inquiries on his part, he had
been unable to secure the slightest
clew 90 the cause OF the deficiency.
When the department of ADULTS and
accounts had fully digested this docu-
ment and presented a report of the
same in official precis to the auditor
general the auditor general through
the secretary OF the assistant auditor
| general of the presidency of Bengal
| notified Babu Tara Cband that IL was
not wholly satisfactory and that tho
| circumstances bearing upon the loss OF
the stamp would have TO be definitely
| explained and proved or the deficit Of
three pies would have to be made good,
Babu Tara Chand stuck to his guns
and wrote again. He wrote many
| times. AS often as he wrote his ex-
plantations the auditor general wrote
| sigpifying his official dissatisfaction
| with the same.
Eventually. one fine day about nine
months subsequent TO the discovery OF
| the loss and some two years subse-
| quent to its alleged preparation. the
| auditor general-his interest in the
matter OF farthing postage stamp be-
| ing overwhelmed ia O frontier war
budget-sent an ultimatum to Tara
Chand. The loss of the postage stamp
would have TO be definitely explained
| or its value. the sum Of three pies, be
duly refunded to the treasurer OF tho
| Swankigabh district.
Then Babu Tara Chand became pos.
sessed OF an inspiration which even
TO this day is pointed TO with pride
and complacency by even the most cir.
cumiocutory OF the red tape depart.
mepts within the purview of the gov
ernment OF India.
Babu Tara Chand wrote to the audi
| tor general as follows:
Sir-In reply to your memo. OF 9TH inst.
have the honor to state terrible confia-
grafton OF my cook house on 5th inst.
hopelessly annihilating all documents in
the case OF lost postage stamp OF three
pies. property OF her most gracious maj
esty the queen empress Therefore by
grace OF God and under regulation para
Is. 459, section cxxxi. OF departmental reg
ulations volume 81 (BengaD. j request you
forward for my information complete
copies OF entire file OF correspondence in
this case. so that l can report again upon
same to your satisfaction. i have the
honor to be. sir. your most obedient. hum
BILE servant, TARA CHAND
Deputy Subassistant Clerk to the Deputy
Collector. Swankibagh.
The auditor general never replied.
Tara Chand had won his case.-Lon.
don Tit Bits.