The Washington herald., 1910-07-31
Look to the blowing Rose about us-'Lo,
Laughing" she says. Into the world I
blow"

he was so silent, he said, II am making
a sketch" and when he had gone away.
almost without a word. 1 opened the fold
ed bit Of paper which he left on the
tabouret. read 1t at first with surprise,
then with delight, and now I read II again
in my deadly. analytical way. as II 4
were something written on a tablet in
some Babylonian temple 5000 years ago
Perhaps this habit of mine was what
almost maddened Jack at times. I have
never gotten over the desire to see what
is inside my doll, while he-dear Jack
His doll was simply perfect. made to be
kissed and caressed and played with, and
never to be thought of very much at all.
Do you want TO have me read what
Jimmie called his sketch?
look at my reflection as 1 read il aloud
10 you and try to Identify It, shall I say?
"A woman. like a chameleon. rejecting
whatever surrounds her. l cannot decide
whether she is plain or pretty or beauti-
ful, FOR she is all these In turn. Some
times her velvety skin is sallow-molten
gold 10 match the hair. set of by purple
eyes and expressive brows. black as jet
Sometimes those brows are lowering
over eyes that flame: sometimes they are
serene uplifted bands shading gray eyes
so clear and cold that you seem 10 see
their depth-and the mouth rich. red,
curying. and coaXing. to-day. tomorrow
calm and passionless as a nuns.
Again. the whole face colorless. eyes
without light, features without play,
voice dreary monotOne A ghost Of the
beautiful animated creature Of yester-
day.
Tt is the face OF a woman who thinks
"a woman who feels-a woman who en-
joys and suffers as few people can-the
personality Of a spirit often perplexed.
but never afrald-of a spirit never brought
to bay hy any power but the invincible
and the eternal Yet. she is as respon-
sive as a wind-harp. She IS as change
able as the sea. but like unto the sea,
the changes are external SO much OF
law and order she is. just as the tides
are Just as the solar system is.
Do not censure Jimmie. I have let my
moods and vagaries have full sway lately.
The relaxation seems natural after my
fixatlon. shall I say? Then. too, we are
all many people in one; some realize II,
others do not The man who said Con
sistency. thou art a jewel saw only the
silver side OF the shield
And confess that Jimmie is helping
me TO recreate my world again-a world
OF illusions. OF mirages. built on the
quicksands not the old solid world. where
everything was so fixed so bound so
permanent I'm my Woman's fond magma
ton. that when one day in its revolutions
round the sun II slipped a cog I found
myself as II were. falling through space
exactly as We do in those dreams we
have when we are children, falling, fall
ing with a sickening fear. and-and this
time Jimmie caught me in his arms and
awOke 10 a faint dawn. steadicd
and Gained and treasured. But the world
I my world. dear Jimmie. can never be the
same again-something permanent-the
truth OF 1.-THE heart OF it was lost in that
dark night.
And so I am becoming frivolous, and a
hooking spirit now comes to me often in
place Of the white-winged Faith that once
made her nesting place in my heart
It is the fashion TO dissect ones self
before the public--to rend the veil from
ones vices TO an admiring world-a la
/ Emile, Marie Bashkirtseff. and others.
I confess I dance. frivoI fiirt, and
commit the great blunder Of a woman's
I nfe-fan in love. cannot help it any
more than I can help breathing Al
ways there IS some one standing up or
/ a pedestal-to my Imagination. I exalt
/ him. and study him. and finally by aid
{ Of Providence, and woman's Wit. he
/ looks AZ me and finds-well. he says
/ that I'm not like other women. No wom-
an Is 10 the man who studies her He
/ looks again and he is lost They tell MS
/ the woman who hesitates is ,ost. The
man who looks IS lost, so I infer many
/ things. Now, as women are given 70
! hesitating and men are given TO looking.
/ II is easy 10 see toward what place the
/ tide OF emigration is setting.
/ Well. 10 run back TO the poin,
The man looks from his height and /
/ think I'll run away; but I hesitate. and
1 soon my hero walks on common earth
beside me. Each day he finds in me
/ points OF resemblance to other women.
/ AllS- am loSluE ground
Each day I find in him signs of mortal
weakness and sin but. in spite OF that
he acquires new territory. I shall soon
have nothing to call my own-Tve done
this before. It is curious to watch the
! progress Of this disease. this falling IL
love Why do they say falling in love.
l wonder; why not say rising in love?
Despite the charge that women do al
the talking, suspect man made Ian
guage)
He gets alarmed
The surrender must not be complete
There are things he does want witt
his new possession.
can hide nothing from him. He sees
through me as if 1 were glass-all the
boys and quagmires and bad lands anC
the quicksands OF passion Losing, los
ing! and loving. loving
He looks at me-the boys of weakness
the bad lands CT mood and within, anC
the quicksands of passion, and he won
ders If he wants all that At last h,
discovers a flaw in the title. He cannot
have all this II he wants IT, Unknown
20 him and unknown to me. there is
small Gods acre lying at the heart o.
this estate called No Mans Land, and
the right to it has never passed out Of
the original masters possession.
The man sees that he has been cheated
He now would give all his other pos
sessions TO be lord of the manor, for M
man loves to be cheated!
But on this Gods acre my love hal
fed for refuge. and he can never toucl
it again II smiles at him, and, perhaps
moclSs him. and the human-hearted thing
called woman looks on his desire witt
tears of svmnathY and memory an