The Holbrook news., 1910-01-07
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She-Are you fond of tea? He Yes, but like the next letter better. Boston Transcript.
 Jones-How far back can you trace my family? Genealoglst-To any date you wish to pay for, sir.
 Since Maud's engagement how bright and happy she looks" Yes; a match lights up a girls face"
 Do you take this woman for bet ter or worse?" 'I do, jedge, do. But hopes we kin kinder strike an average"
 ''The preacher that married you says you only gave him a dollar" He ought to be glad I didn't sue him for 1 damages. es.'-Answers
 Master-How was this vase smash ed, Mary? Mary-If you please. sir. it tumbled down and broke itself. Master-Humph! The automatic brake again.
 The Agent don't see how you find room for complaint in this apartment. The Tenant-Nor I. There ain't even room to take deep breath.-Cieveland Leader.
 MT. Timid (hearing noise at two a. m.)-I th-think, dear, that there Is a m-man in the house. His Wife (scornfuliy)-Not in this room.-Bos- ton Transcript.
 The Young Doctor-Just think; six Of my patients recovered this week. The Old Doctor-It's your own fault, my dear boy You spend too much time at the club-Life..
 A lad who had just had tooth ex- tracted requested the privilege of talk ing 1t home with him. T want to put some sugar in it, he said, "and watch it che"-Tit-Bits.
 Friend-What was the title of your poem? Poet-"Oh, Give Back My Dreams." Friend-And what did the editor write to you? Poet-"Take Leader.
 "I may have remained trife late. but her remarks were too pointed" What did she say. Ferdy?" Told me their lease was about to expire."- Louisville Courier-Journal.
 You look so pale and thin. What's got you?" Work. From morning to night and only one-hour rest" How long have you been at it?" T begin -morrow."-Success.
 Elderly Lady-Doctor, I am trou- bled with a Authorization that I am being followed by 8 man. What sort of cure would you suggest? Honest Physician-A mirror.-Cleyeland Lead ST.
 When I was your age," said the stern parent. T had money in the bank" Well" answered the embar- rassed young man. perhaps when I'm your age I'll have money in the bank. too'
 Hateful thing" she cried, in the midst of their little quarrel. "I was silly goose when I married you" Perhaps so," replied the great brute. At any rate, you were no chicken. Boston Traveller.
 Jimmie, your face is dirty again this morning." exclaimed the teacher. What would you say if I came to school every day with a dirty face?" Huh" grunted Jimmie; I'd be too perlite to say anything"
 Mrs x (away from home)-John. did you leave out anything for the cat before you started? MT. x (who dis likes the beast)-Yes; left can of condensed milk on the table, with the can-opener beside it.-Human Life.
 MT. Brown-I had a queer dream last night, my dear. thought 1 saw another man running off with you. Mrs. Brown-And what did you say to him? MT. Brown-I asked him what he was running for.-Stray Sto- ries.
 New Husband-Did you make those biscuits. my dear? His wife-Yes. larling. Her Husband-Well, I'd -ather you would not make any more. sweetheart. His Wife-Why not. love? Her Husband-Because. angel mine. you are too light for such heavy work. Chicago Daily News.
 It's all very well for you to preach said his wife. "but notice whenever I cut down expenses that -ou smoke better cigars and spend nore money for your own pleasure han at any other time." Well. con ound it; what do you suppose want -ou to economize for. anyway?"-Chi- ago Record Herald.
 The Lady (to hero who had risked is life to save her little dog from a Tatery grave, and looks for some re- yard )-Poor fellow, how wet and cold ou are. You must be soaked through 0 the skin. Here-Fll give you some uinine pills; take couple now. and wo more in an hours tfme.-The 'hrone and Country.
 What's this?" demanded the GUS