New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-04-24
HIS PHILOSOPHY.

lne rope Tor a keepsake.
HIS PHILOSOPHY.
Throushout his works that grim humor
crops out again and again, mixed with n
philosophy that has a tender heart behind
It. Here are some things from ''Pudd'n-
head Wilson's Calendar" as that unpub-
lished volume Is quoted in the chapter head
ines OF Mark Twain's novel ''Pudd'nhead
Wilson:
Thanksgiving Day Let all give hum
ole, hearty and sincere thanks now but the
turkeys In the island of FIJI they do not
use turkeys: they use plumbers. II does
not become you and me TO sneer at Fiji"
Gratitude and treachery are merely the
two extremes OF the same procession. You
have seen all Of It that is worth staying
for when the band and the gaudy officials
have gone by"
He is useless on top OF the ground; he
ought TO be under II inspiring the cab
bages."
1t were not best that we should all think
alike; IL is difference Of opinion that makes
horseraces"
Adam and Eve had many advantages.
but the principal one was that they escaped
teething"
Wrinkles should merely indicate where
smiles have been"
And this is the funeral in "Huckleberry
Finn:
When the place was packed full the IN
dertaker he slid around in his black gloves
with his softy. soothering ways, getting
people and things all shipshape and COM
Portable and making no more sound than 4
cat He was the softest, Elidingest. stealth
Test man ever see; and there warnt no
more smile TO him than there is TO a ham.
The Reverend Hobson opened I'D. slow
and solemn. and begun 10 talk; and straight
OF the most outrageous row busted out IN
the cellar a bodv over heard; it was only
one dog, but he made a most powerful
racket. and he kept Il up right along; the
parson he had TO stand there over the
coffin. and wait-you couldn't hear yourself
think. II was right down awkward. and
nobody didn't seem to know what 10 90.
THE UNDERTAKES FEAT.
But pretty soon they see that long
legged undertaken make a sign to the
preacher as much as to say. Don't you
worry. just depend on me Then he
stopped down and begun to glide along
the wall just his shoulders showing above
the peoples heads. So he glided along. and
the powwow and racket getting more and
more outrageous all the time: and at last,
when he had gone around two sides Of
the room, ne disappears down cellar. Then
in about two seconds we heard a whack.
and the dog ne finished Up with a most
amazing howl or two, and then every
thing was dead stu. and the parson begun
his solemn talk where he left or. In
minute or two here comes the undertaker's
back and shoulders gliding along the wall
again, and he glided and glided around
three sides OF the room and then rose
Up and shaded his mouth with his hands
and stretched his neck out toward the
preacher over the peoples heads. and says
in a kind OF a coarse whisper. re had a
ratr
Then he dropped down and glided along
the wall again 10 his place. You could see
81 was q great satisfaction 10 the people.
because naturally they wanted to know. A
little thing like that don't cost nothing.
and it's Just the little things that makes
man 10 be looked UP to and liked.
There Narn't no more popular man In
town than what that undertaken was"
OF stu another sort is the humor that
marks AIr Clemens's Personal Recollec-
tons Of Joan OF Arc where tragedy and
sly satire go side by side. lie tells Of an
incident Of Joan's trial. speaking in the
person OF the heroine's secretary.
He CCauchon, chief OF her persecutors)
burst out into a great passion and said:
There Is the rack. and there are its
ministers You viii reveal all now or be
put TO the torture Speak!
Then she made her great answer. which
win live forever; made II without fuss or
bravado, and yet how fine and noble was
the sound OF Il:
~ viii tell you nothing more than i
have told you: no. not even II you tear the
limbs from my body. And even II In my
pain ] did say something otherwise
would always say afterward that it was
the torture that spoke and not l.
..No. there was no crushing that spirit
and no beclouding that clear mind Con-
slider the depth. the wisdom OF that an
sWer coming from an ignorant girl Why.
there were not six men In the world who