The San Francisco call., 1910-01-16

Isl The gloomy creature or 1atal-
list who is always pursued by bad luck.
who tells you heart breaking things
about his poor cards and remains
plunged in despair until the horrible
agony is over.
(9) The woman who perks up"
when she has a good hand-laughs,
chats and makes merry.
(1O) The so-ealled gentleman who
writhes, groans and turns in his chair
does not fit in with his particular
hand.
(1l)~ The idiot who sprawls on the
table and holds his cards so that every
one must see them.
C2) The man who always wants to
know the score-and his three broth
ers: the first who insists on looking
back at the last trick and examining
it carefully as though every card were
new to him; the second who always
asks the trump; and the third who in
cessantly wants to know whether or
not the trick is against him.
G3l The tea and muffin crank who
wants TO play bridge, tell story,
smoke a cigar. butter a crumpet, read
the paper and drink tea at one and the
same time with only one mouth and
a single pair of hands.
G4 The gifted" player who has
never read a book on bridge, does not
know the leads. and simply plays by
common sense
Q5) The cataleptic trance-medium
who refuses to play until he has rubbed
his forehead and until cons of time
have rolled their torpid lengths into
the abysses of eternity.
G6) The nagger. This gentleman
is usually an arguer, bristler. growler
and gIoater. as we'll as ''naggleton-'
(1D The curious maiden who, when
dummy. insists upon peeking at the
hands of the leader and third hand
(1S) The person who hesitates un-
duly before making the trump or after
the question. May 1 play?
Q9) The tricky and artful player
who overhnesses, leads false cards.
and. by his craft. leaves you absolute
ly in the dark as to what he really
holds.
(2O) The selfish animal who plays
only for his own hand and never for
(2i) The doubter. who always
watches you jot down the score-just
to make sure that he is not being
rocked or done out of his honors.
(22) The being-usually woman
who inevitably claims an honor or two
that she did not hold.
(23) The book" player who plays
entirely by r1es-usually rules that
don't happen to govern the hand at
issue
ga The hend who doubles spades
on nothing but faith. hope and stu
pidity.
(25) The fngerer This strange crea-
ture has curious habit of pulling out
a card, putting it back in his hand. pull
ing it out again, putting it back, etc.
ad ininitum.
= (26) The man who can't count thir-
teen. (There are half a million school
children in New York City alone who
can correctly count thirteen, but only
a very few card players are similarly
gifted)
(27) The belligerent, defiant. ex-
citabIe and warIike partner who has
blood in his eye and is out to do seri-
Gus damage to his adversaries.
(2S) The partner who, even IL you
score good slam. is sure to point
way by which you could have made
another trick.
(29) The agreeable partner. 1This
is a purely mythical creature, like an
angel or minotaur.)
And finally there is:
600 The deprayed wretch who. as
soon as he catches you in a revoke,
leans over the table and grabs three
tricks from your pile without asking
your pardon or permission. CIT is
related that King Canute ordered a
courtier hanged for checkmating him
at chess. What would the seashore
king have done to this detestab1e crea-
ture? Hanging. or even boiling in oil.
are deaths too blissful and fragrant for
him.
1t is certain that bridge is the su-
preme test of breeding. If you ever
are fortunate enough to come upon a
pleasant partner at bridge, you may be
certain that he is a man sOf breeding.
of good family, of gentle birth and Of
unimpeachable manners. Curiously
enough. many men of breeding are in
sufferable partners, but it is also true
that they are more often agreeable
partners than those men who have not
had similar advantages in birth and
training.
The word etiquette" was we are in
formed, not known to Doctor Johnson
We may add that it is practically un-
known to this day-at the bridge table.
Some one has wisely said that all
bridge partners are idiots, while only
a few of them are gentlemen.
As to etiquette, we take the liberty
of pointing out to the bridge boor that
it is hardly good form:
% To draw a card from his hand
before it is his turn 10 play
(2) To revoke a second time in order
to hide his first revoke
CD To try to raise the table stakes