davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20
PROMISED A LIVELY TIME
Mark TAnain's Outline of EDITORIAL
Policy He Had Made Up His
Mind to Adopt.

Mark Twain took the editorial chair
on the Buffalo Express in August,
1868. and this is the paragraph in
which he made the readers acqlaint.
ed with his new responsibility: Il only
wish 10 assure parties having a friend
" interest in the prosperity Of this
journal that | am not going TO hurt
the paper deliberately and intention
ally at any time. | am not going to
introduce any startling reform or in
any way attempt TO make trouble.
am simply going to do my plain, un
pretending duty-when | cannot get
out of it, / shall work diligently and
honestly and faithfully at all times
and upon all occasions-when priva-
ton and want shall compel me to do
So In writing | shall contine myself
to the truth, except when It is attend
ed with inconvenience. ] shall with
eringly rebuke all forms of crime and
misconduct, except when committed
by the party inhabiting my own vest
| shall not make use of slang or vul-
garity upon any occasion or in any
circumstances and shall never use
profanity except in discussing house
rent and taxes. Indeed, upon second
thought, 1 will not even then. for it is
inelegant, un-Christian and degrading.
| shall moi often NEEDLE with politics,
because we have a political editor who
is already excellent and only needs a
term in the penitentiary to be perfect.
/ shah not write any poetry unless
conceive a spite against the subscri-
bers.''
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20
FEW REALIZE ABSOLUTE NEcES.
SITY OF FRICTION.
Exact the Maximum or the Mini
mum of the Power.

When one wishes to speak of the
sharpest edged tool of civilization the
razor is the thing. The famous "Da-
mascus blade" against which leaves
floating with the current would split
on its edge, may have been fiction.
But granting the quality to the Da-
mascus sword, its edge under the mi
croscope would have shown the saw
teeth of the edged razor and the
pointed steel needle.
Which facts are incidental to the ne
cessity of friction in the world of ma
terial things. Did it ever occur to
you what might happen if suddenly
every material thing about became
frictionless? The activities of a world
would cease in an instant. You
couldn't walk on a pavement without
spikes in your shoes. You couldn't
ride in a wheelbarrow or in a modern
limited railroad train. Most of your
clothing would blow off you in a
high wind. You couldn't eat without
that one great physical phenomenon
friction.
Friction in all substances comes
about on the principle OF the saw
tooth on the edge Of the razor and
or the Damascus blade. Under the
microscope every piece of matter has
its characteristic ~'tootned" surface
which the microscope will show if the
fineness is too great for the unaided
eye.
There are marked differences in tue
clogsed teeth of the metals, for exam
pie. Take the ordinary. slow turning
steel axle and 1t may be turned in a
steel journal with a minimum of luhri-
cant. But where the steel revolves
rapidly journal must be lined with
brass. babbitt metal, or some other
less clogging metal And then the
maximum of lubricating oil may be
required to prevent its heating and
burning. And in the heavy turbine
engines. the end of a great vertical
shaft must be housed in an oil eylin-
der. oil tight and leaving no part of
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20
The little Man Smoke un.

A cold shudder crept around a big
table in one of the Atlantic City cafes
the other night when a clubman. who
has recently returned from London
announced to the guests at a dinner
party that he had happened to be
driving past the Crippen house at
Hilldrop Crescent, one dark. gloomy
night. and had seen the mysterious
shadow of a clammy hand az the win
dow The story so affected another
guest a *he table that he Immediately
summoned an innocent bellboy and
sent him off through the place calling
Doctor Crippen.' The effect on the
many patrons of the cafe was cleo
trical. and the unsuspicious bellboy
CRYING the terrible name In automa
ton fashion as he passed from table &c
table, left a wake of amusement and
laughter which ended in roar when
a little man stood up and with mock
solemnity yelled Here am"
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20
MUST PUT BUSINESS FIRST

profession. Then, If the opportunity
comes for her to marry, she viii be all
the better equipped for her home du-
ties and all the more companionable
and helpful to her husband.
Many of the business schools are
altogether too lax in their require
ments, and girls are allowed to go out
from these schools with a very meager
idea of what is expected of them in
the business world. Hundreds upon
hundreds of the stenographers that
are graduated" from business schools
are a disgrace to the profession, and
it is marvel that business men have
the patience to endure and overlook
all the inexcusable mistakes that are
made by so-called beginners"
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20
"SOFT SNAP" FATAL

make things as easy and pleasant for
him as he could. This, Of course, is
what every young man in big office
hopes for-to make the manager like
him, to get drag that will bring a
cinch job and big pay.
That is exactly what Burkett had.
The manager gave him this easy place
and little by little increased his salary
until he was drawing $40 week. At
the same time his friendship for Bur
kett prompted him to inform that
young man that he didn't have to wor-
ry about his job.
The effect on Burkett was tnevita-
BILE. He began to lay back, take 1t
easy, and get fat. There was no rea-
son why he should do anything else;
things were coming his way no mat
ter how he loafed.
It's pretty hard to say what might
have become of our young hero If
there hadn't been an upheaval In the
office. The old manager went. A new
one came, one who didn't know Bur
kett from the man in the moon. "Abol-
ish that Job. Split it up between a
couple of men Put Burkett back to
$40 a week, or let him go If he doesn't
like it."
It was a pretty hard blow for the
fattening Burkett. He gasped and
spluttered, but when he came out of
the haze he saw that the $40 place Of
fered to him in the Office was as well
If not better than he could do by go
ing elsewhere. He took 1t, and 1t was
a hard Job, doubly hard after the sine
cure.
That was what saved Burkett. He
really has first class stuff In him.
The cinch had choked it. that was all.
When he had to work he could work,
and the more he had to work the more
he could work; and first thing he and
the Office knew he was whirlwind.
He frightened up, he got thinner: in
short, he got back into shape.
Burkett is one of the new managers
right hand men now. The new man.
ager thinks lot of him-because Bur-
kett does TWO mems work and does 1t
better than any two in the Office could
do It, He is getting $50 week now,
and the manager himself says that
when he gets ready to step out Bur
kett will be the man to take his place.
Burkett met the old manager a
while ago. The latter rushed up and
attempted to shake hands effusively.
60 on" roared Burkett. II don't
want to talk to you. You came so
near putting me on the blink that
was saved by the merest chance. You
did your best to make me wind up a
bum failure"
81 did," cried the astonished man
ager. why, l made things as easy
for you as could be-"
yes" snapped Burkett; "that was
just the trouble"
Don't worry because your Job is
hard now when you're young. You
can stand 1t. And that's the only way
you can get an easy one when you're
old.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20

overhead. he was lingering 1t wher
one Of the officials rushed up.
my dear sir" he exclaimed. you
must not do that, you know"
"Er-but why not2" inquired the Wis
itor, as the officer caught his arm.
why, it will let in the Atlantic,
you know"
1t is believed that the rosy British
er didn't regain all his color for two
days afterward.
From either side of the Firth OF
Forth coal mines have been run under
the water until the ends of the CALLER
les almost meet under the sea.
OFF the county OF Durham are sew
eral great submarine coal mines, OF
which the famous Monk Wearmouth
coiliery has workings so vast and in
tricate as to make 1t approach the
size of a city of black streets. On
one occasion the North sea broke
into it at the rate of 5000 gallons a
minute, but the flow finally was check
ed. At the present time 200 horse
power engine is required to keep the
mine clear of water.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20
shrewd Scheme STOPPED Run.

Many years ago, in consequence of
a commercial panic, there was a severe
run on a bank in South Wales, and
the small farmers jostled each other
In crowds to draw out their money.
Things were rapidly going from bad
TO worse, when the bank manager, in
a fit of desperation, suddenly be-
thought him of an expedient. By his
directions a clerk, having heated some
sovereigns in frying-pan, paid them
over the counter to an anxious appli-
cant. Why, they're quite hot" said
the latter as he took them up "Of
course" was the reply; what else
could you expect? They are only just
out of the mold. We are coming them
by hundreds as fast as we can"
Coming them!" thought the simple
agriculturists: then there is no fear
of the money running short!" With
this their confidence revived, the pan
&c abated, and the bank was enabled
TO weather the storm.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20
TINY BABY'S PITIFUL CASE

Our baby when two months old
was suffering with terrible eczema
from head to foot, all over her body.
The baby looked just like a skinned
rabbit. We were unable to put clothes
on her At first 1t seemed to be few
mattered pimples. They would break
the skin and peel off leaving the IN
derneath skin red as though it were
scalds. Then a few more pimples
would appear and spread all over the
body, leaving the baby all raw without
skin from head to foot. On top of her
head there appeared heavy scab a
quarter of an inch thick. 1t was aw-
full to see so small a baby look as she
did. Imagine! The doctor was afraid
to put his hands to the child. We
tried several doctors remedies but all
failed.
Then we decided to try Cuticura.
By using the Cuticura Ointment we
softened the scab and it came off. I'm
der this, where the real matter was,
by washing with the Cuticura Soap
and applying the Cuticura Ointment,
new skin soon appeared. We also
gave baby four drops of the Cuticura
Resolvent three times daily. After
three days you could see the baby
gaining little skin which would peel
off and heal underneath. Now the
baby is four months old She is fine
picture of fat little baby and all
Is well. We only used one cake of Cuti-
cura Soap, two boxes of Cuticura Oint-
ment and one bottle of Cuticura Re
solvent. If people would know what
Cuticura is there would be few suffer,
Ing with eczema. Mrs. Joseph Koss-
mann, st. Johns Place, Ridgewood
Heights. N. Y, Apr. 80 and May 4, 09."
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20

How many clerks measure up the
standard of the young bookkeeper in
this story from Human Life? He was
employed in the passenger department
of a great railroad. II was just lit
tie before lunch Some of the clerks
were putting on their coats, some
leaving for the wash room, some con-
sulting the clock; some were still
busy. Suddenly the boss entered.
He glanced about him. and then APP
preached the young bookkeeper.
What time is it?" he asked.
The young man kept on figuring,
and the boss put hand on his desk
and repeated the question.
Instantly the other looked up. sud
prised 10 see the chief at his elbow.
Il beg your pardon, were you speak
Ing to me-" he asked.
Merely inquired the time-that
was all" said the other.
The bookkeeper glanced about the
room, located the office clock. and
said. ITS ten minutes to twelve"
Thank you" said the general man
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20
Kidney Scum.

Half an OK kidney, one carrot, tur-
nip, onion, salt and pepper, two
ounces of -four, one ounce butter, three
pints of hot water, one tablespoon of
mushroom ketchup. Cut the kidney
into small pieces, also vegetables, fry
all together in the butter for five
minutes, then stir in the -four and
seasoning. add gradually the hot
water. Let it come to a boil, then al
low 1T to simmer gently for an hour
and a half. Pass the soup through
wire sieve, return to the stew pan,
add the mushroom ketchup, and If the
soup is not dark enough add few
drops of kitchen bouquet, let 1t come
to boil and serve with strips of but
tered toast.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20
WORK UNDER OCEAN

third of mile under the ocean The
late King Edward entered Ii several
years ago and under this quietest sea
rolling just above his head he dis
covered the temper of his subjects
who once toiled there in all wealth
ers merely that the might earn their
bread.
Within few miles of the Bottallack
copper mine is the Leyant mine, one
of the richest ever opened in Eng
land. Copper and tin to the value of
$10.000.000 have been taken from its
40 gallreies extending under the bed
of the sea. Its lowest gallery runs
directly out into the ocean floor for
mile. A few years ago a geologist
who was one of party of visitors
under escort of officials of the mine
wandered away few yards as the
rest of them talked. Discovering
something which resemblea a plug
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20

well at night. 1 believe there is moth
ing like the Pinkham remedies" -
Mrs. CLARA FRANKS, r. F. D., No. 8,
Knoxville, Iowa.
The success of Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound, made from roots
and herbs, is unparalleled. 1t may be
used with perfect confidence by women
who suffer from displacements, infam-
nation, liberation, fibroid tumors, IT.
regularities, periodic pains, backache,
bearing-down feeling, flatulency, indi-
gestion, dizziness, or nervous prostra-
ton.
For thirty years Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound has been the
standard remedy for female ills, and
suffering women owe it to themselves
to at least give this medicine trial
Proof is abundant that it has cured
thousands of others, and why should it
not euro you?
Ifyou want special advice write
Mrs. Pinkham, Lynn, NJ ass, for it.
1t is free and always helpful.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20
MADE FROM MELONS
OAlNTlES WITH WHICH ALL ARE
NOT FAMILIAR.
Secipes for Sherbess From the Fruit
and Preserves From the Rind-
The Proper Way to Serve
CanteIoupe.

Tempting sherbets are made from
both canteloupe and watermelon.
There are conseryes to be made of
the rinds, perhaps in combination with
another fruit or a vegetable. There
are salads which may be concocted
by adding to melons, cut into small
cubes. a sprinkling of nuts and q
spoonful of mayonnaise
But first catch your melon A ripe
,anteloupe can be told by az examina-
ton of the stem end Freak small
piece from this and see if the melon
is fragrant If 1t smells spicy the
melon is ripe. 1t is mistake to put
Ice into canteloupe, as is generally
done. This takes away considerably
from the sweetness of the melon meat
The canteloupe should be served In a
bed of cracked ice A toothsome des-
sert is made by filling a canteloupe
skin with vanilla Ice cream and pour
Ing over the ice cream a mild ginger
syrup.
For Watermelon Sherbet-Boil a
pound of sugar and a quart of water
together for 10 minutes. Add two
tablespoonfuls of gelatine which has
been soaked in a half cupful of cold
water for an hour, then when dis
solved, strain and pour into the freez-
er. Add one pint of orange juice and
freeze. When nearly frozen add two
cupfuls of pink watermelon dice. and
let stand packed in ice and salt for
an hour and half
In making canteloupe sheIbet, soak
one teaspoonful Of gelatine in a half
cup of cold water for an hour Add
one-half cup boiling water. When the
gelatine is quite dissolved, add one
cupful Of cold water, three-fourths
cup of sugar, and the mashed pulp
and juice of melon about the size of
a cocoanut.
Picked canteloupes are not found
on the average table. But they GER
tainly deserve a place there. These
belong to the sweet pickle variety.
Select melons not quite ripe. Cut into
oblong pieces, take off the rind and
soft parts near the seeds. To every
eight pounds of melon allow one pint
vinegar and three pounds of sugar.
Mix half teaspoonful each ground
mace and cloves and one teaspoonful
each cinnamon, ginger and allspice.
Tie in little piece of cheesecloth and
scald with the vinegar. Cook the
melons in the hot syrup until tender,
then skim out into bowl. Boil the
liquor down and pour over the melon.
Repeat this three or four times. and
the last time heat the melon with the
syrup. Put into jars and SEAL
An excellent conserve Of melon rinds
can be made. Pare off the green part
Of the melon rind and all the pink, cut
into inch pieces, shaping as desired
and weigh. For five pounds of the
rind allow one quart of water and a
pint of vinegar. Scald the water and
] vinegar. add the rind and boil 10 min
utes. Remove the rind with skim
| mer and drain perfectly dry.
Place in the preserving kettle a pint
of water and 31a pounds of sugar. Boil,
skim, add the melon pieces and two
ounces green ginger cut in slices.
Cook until the melon is clear and ten
der, remove with skinner and put
in glass jars. Boil the syrup 10 or
Is minutes longer, fill the jars with
hot syrup and seal.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20

ager and yice-president. and strolled
out
That conversation cost the young
bookkeeper his place-in the passen-
ger department-and put him under
higher officer, ION the firing line"
Nine years later he was assistant gen.
eral manager. and while still in the
ihirties became a general manager,
ll-fiedged.-Youth's Companion.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20
Vegetarian croauettes.

Blanch nut kernels by scalding and
stripping of the skins. Set on the ice
until crisp. Then pound or run
through your vegetable press. Pre-
pare an equal quantity of mashed po-
tatoes; mix with the pounded nuts;
work in melted butter and few
spoonfuls Of cream, with pepper and
salt to taste. Now beat in the yolk of
an egg to bind the paste Form in
croquettes: roll in egg and cracker
crumbs, and set on ice until stif.
Fry in deep dripping or other fat,
and drain in hot colander from every
drop Of fat Serve Immediately.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20
VITAL FORCE IN WORLD

the axle surface touching metal of any
kind.
The arts of civilization for the most
part exact the maximum or the mini
mum of friction. The locomotice
drivers on an oiled track would be use
less. On the dry steel rail it often
is necessary to loose a trail of sand
in order to have the drivers bite" the
rail sufficiently. On the other hand,
the bearings in which the driving axle
turns must have the minimum Of fric-
ton produced by the contact brass
and and the lubricating oil.
Without friction buildings of stone
and brick would tumble down and from
the vibrations of city traffic or under
the forces of strong wind. A nail
driven into hard wood could be pulled
out by the fingers. A screw driven
home would work its way out of the
hole.
Social friction is bad; elemental
friction is the saving If the world.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20

Beat one package of cream cheese
with quarter OF cup of sweet cream,
chop a dozen large table raisins, a
strip of citron, six candied cherries.
one candied apricot, small piece Of
candied pineapple, grating of lemon
peel, dash of nutmeg, a tablespoon
full of apricot brandy, and teaspoon
full OF sugar. Mix well, then mould
and chill, cut in small squares when
ready to use and serve with buttered
toast for afternoon tea or with lunch
con dessert
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20

wrote 60 MIS-. INK
ham and took Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vege-
table Co pound
and Liver Pills, and
am glad to say that
your medicines and
kind letters of di-
rections have done
more for me than
anything else and l
had the best physi-
clans here. / can
A
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20

ment failed to help. When in despair
l began with Doan's Kidney Pills and
soon improved Continued use cured
me and at present my health is ex-
cellent."
Remember the name-Doan's.
For sale by all dealers. so cents a
box. Foster-Milburn Co, Buffalo, n. Y.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20
Remarkable Young Lady.

From a feuilleton: Her voice was
low and soft; but once again, as Janet
Fem withdrew from the room and
closed the door after her, the fiendish
CLEAN came into her odorless eyes,"
IF we hear any more of Janet we
will let you know."-Punch.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20

IL there are no drawers for holding
the surplus stock Of dish towels, hold
ers. cleaning cloths and the like, which
should always be in readiness, get a
comfortable seat; hang the cover on
hinges, pad the top of 1t and cover
with blue denim. then you will have a
suitable receptacle.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20
Hinge and Spring Combined.

Utilizing the principle of graylty> a
door hinge invented by a Washington
man also acts as a spring. A spiral
strip of metal Is fastened TO the cas-
ing and q plate with a slot 20 fit
over the spiral to the door. When the
door is opened it rises, settling slow
ly and closing by its own weight.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20
Torch for Automobiles.

For exploring automobiles an cleo.
trio torch has been patented with an
electromagnetic base, which will cling
to any metal surface against which
it is placed. leaving is users hands
free.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20
Local EnterprIse.

Tourist-Why do you call this vol
cano? l don't believe it has had an
eruption for a thousand years.
Gulde-Well, the hotel managers in
this region club together and keep a
fire going in 1t every year during the
-Meggendorfer Blaetter.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20
Just Like a Girl.

Her cooklng-school habits are a
good deal of bother to me-"
How now?"
"She always wants me to taste the
gasoline when the automobile isn't
working right"
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20


developed and for a
whole year, / was un,
able to work. / suf-
fered agonizing pains
in my back and the
k | an ey secretions
were in terrible con-
dition. My vitality
gradually diminished
and the doctors treat
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20
Not lmpregnable.

Horace Avory. X. c., just appointed
judge, is one of the mordant wits of
the British bar. One day, cross-ex-
aiming a recalcitrant witness, he
asked:
What are your"
"A retired gentleman" proudly as
serted the eX-eheesemonger.
Well" snarled Avery, when you
achieved the position of gentleman,
why did you retire from it,"
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20
Few MARRIAGES in london.

The marriages in London last year
represent the lowest percentage of
which there is any record
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20
Hardly Worth While.

Scientists state that the sun win
continue to give out the present
amount Of heat for 300O0,O0O years.
THAT makes two weeks vacation
look piffiing. eh?"
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20
New TYpewrlter Stand.

A typewriter stand containing a
turntable to swing the machine to op-
posite sides for the use OF two per
sons mas been invented
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20
The sIeepIess Kind.

The LAwyer-Brainard is a wide
awake sort of chap, isn't he?
The Doctor-That's what I'm
treating him for insomnia
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20
INJURED IN WRECK.
Conductor Thrown Down IS Foot
Embankment.

George Hahn. C. & n. w. conductor
Arbor Ave. West Chicago. H., says;
Il was thrown from a car down a %
foot embankment and my kidneys
were badly bruised. Kidney trouble
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1910-09-20

In order to bake potatoes quickly,
boil them first ten minutes IN salt
water before putting them In the
oven