The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1910-05-22
Fog Horn Tales;
Der Captain and
Der MeYn1aids'
BY HANK.
BY HANK.
IsD Err Mermaids are all suffra-
gettes," was the surprising eX-
r.1es - los 10

D 11<14N1N-
IsD Err Mermaids are all suffra-
gettes," was the surprising ex-
clamation of Captain Finochle
[ the pilot. as the latter entered the
They are?" said the pilot, "how do
you know"
Il know, und dot ISIS enough" re-
piled the captain. ''und dot Fader Nep-
tune he is holdings, no more.
You must have been dreaming, said
I vass," admitted Captain Pinochle.
but id vass nod a dream TO be proud
vass glad even der fog horn blew und
We'll. what did you dream?' asked
wen. I dreamed dot der Gretchen
vass wrecked und vass sunk down TO
der bottom of der ocean the captain
related I landed nit bump in a vot
you call court-der court of Neptune
Dere vass der olt man sitting nit his
viSkers on der throne NIT a lot OF
strange looking fishes around. Two of
dem had long swords for noses. sword
fish / guess dey Vass. But Otherwise
der court vass full OF mermalds, big
ind fiddle, lean and fat, beautiful und
hOmely, all NIT 1ers hair hanging down
Father Neptune's Finish.
we'll, dey vass all making a terrible
fuss, Und l could nod make OUd VOt Id
VaSs until two fish bring in banner on
Vich / read Votes for Mermaids.' Den
] knew id vass der suffragette question
dot dey vaSs talking a0Out. Freddy
soon see old Neptune gedding nervous
und all at VOnce der crowd dey make
a terrible rush for him. Neptune starts
10 run away, but they collar him uad
holt out a long sheet of paper for him
10 sign. Den vun Of dem sees me und
dere is great hullabaloo- Dey grab
me und vun of dem gets a big fish tail
und puts ii ofer my legs
Den 1 VaSs a norman und could swim
Tfnf Ilezr hTfv To
me und L see dot id says in IL dot der
mermaids hat become tired of sitting
on rocks and singing to sailors und
dat dey hat decided TO strike ind make
der meTmen do it. So We had TO sign
der paper agreeing to go und set on
DER rocks and sing TO der sailors. Fader
Neptune would not sign at first. but
Mrs Neptune sticked him nit a big
fork und he surrendered.
Den Mrs Neptune takes der seat on
der throne and Fader Neptune und me
are tclt 20 chase ourselves to some
rocks ind sing to de sailors in ships
dot pass in der night.
The Male MermafdS.
Ven, we find couple of rocks
sticking up outside der ocean ind We
sit on dem very sad Fader Neptune
he say he neffer can sing ind neider
can 1, but 1 say, Wait. maybe no ships
come, SO We Won't half TO sing But
pretty soon along come nice yacht,
und We could see "A big party on boardt,
so ] commenced to sing ind Fader Nep-
tune joins in. und pretty soon We see
der pebbles on der boat all looking at
US.
'Vell, all of a sudden We see two girls
jump OferbOardt ind begin to swim to
us Pretty soon dey reach der rocks
und We help dem up to we're We are
sitting. We we're surprised until Fader
Neptune begins to laugh und he saws
as how We have fooled der meTmaidS
Der magic power in der mermajds'
voices attracts der sailors, but ven
rnermen sing it vas der Odder way und
only fiddle girls could hear der mer-
men.
Well, I laughed. too. especially as I
found dot der girl who had swimmed
out to me vass very FREDDY blonde,
vile Fader Neptune had a brunette.
we'll. just as VIC we're beginning to
introduce ourselves who should pop Oud
of der sea but Mrs. Neptune Den dere
vass a terrible dime. Fader Neptune
jumps into der sea NIT Mrs. Neptune
after him, vile a lot of odder mernaids
come after me nit forks and tings to
stick me vid. - Veil, dere vass no way
on tight to der blonde girl und she
holding on to me- Dots ALL
rs that all of the dream2" said the
pilot. disappointedly; why, what's
happened2"
Der fog horn blew" said the cap
tain, ''und id saved my life. Dere it
goes now"
.Hoo-oo,' blew the fog horn