Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-03-03


II is never too cold for the Ohio
river to assume rowdy attitude.
German potash comes high, but
some American industries must have
It.
Mr.. Halley's comet will have to
move little closer or 1t will be out
shone.
Persons with the dynamite habit
could find useful work in breaking up
ice gorges.
While the coal situation is improv.
Ing, 1t still takes money to flag the
coal wagon.
The aggravating feature Of weather
predictions is that the unpleasant
ones always come true
- II you have finished paying the
Christmas bills now is the time to be-
gin preparing for Easter.
Mr.. Halley's widely known comet
still refuses to appear for anything so
common as an opera glass.
Chicago needs an export duty on its
competent young bankers, whom New
York insists on appropriating
II that invention really enables us
to sec by wire, II will mean a lot Of
bother to dress for the telephone
Japan also has a peace society. but
meanwhile the triphammer keeps
clicking away, riveting Dreadnoughts.
Scientists are wondering what
causes the yellow veil over Mars
Maybe Mars has shrek journalism.
However. It is a poor kind of man
who cannot discover without the aid
Of machine whether or not a girl
loves him.
II is said by an expert that the feet
Of the American nation are growing
larger. Not larger. we think, but more
numerous.
st. Louis men have been getting
tetanus from frozen feet It should
please the toy pistol to be able to
prove an alibi
About 100000 has been lost be.
cause Of the New York shirtwaist
strike, but only a man of family can
credit the figures.
Paris policemen have been told to
shoot when attacked by thugs. This
will be much more effective than
shouting for assistance.
There has been organized In Balti-
more a society which aims to give
babies a chance. 1t might begin by
Rbolishing fiat buildings.
A university professor asserts that
Hamlet used slang. If so, some Of
the fellows who want to play the part |
should be right at home in It.
Competent authorities assert that
stovaine is and is not good for any
thing. In this dilemma it Is perfectly
safe to retain ones health.
report of cats gone up to $4,000
apiece! If true. which can hardly be |
accepted, 1t should also tend to boom
the values among mice and rats.
A New Jersey mayor asks all the
citizens to tell him how he should
conduct his Office Probably he is de-
scended from the original Trouble
Seeker.
At the sight of 20 American women
at the kaiser's court conservative
Germans shook their heads. Well,
turning heads is one of the principal
industries of the American girl.
Skating and coasting have killed
many more persons in New Jersey
this winter than football ever thought
Of injuring. There should be invent.
ed some kind Of "socker" winter
sports.
II tits true as estimated that $500
beggars in New>Tork average a pick
up Of $4,000 a day, wherein lies the
argument for honest labor at half the
return? Still, as we think of 1t,
some of us must work in order that
the others can beg successfully.
1
When It is shown by official records
that the United States in ten years
exported S9.O0OOOO,OOo worth Of agri-
cultural products there can be little
doubt as to what country is the
worlds main reliance for such articles.
And now that our exports Of manu-
features are approaching the same
standard and hid fair IN aurnaaa n