The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1910-08-25
Her Three Lovers
By Nj. QUAD
Copyright 1910. by Associated Lit
erary Press

trl good looking. with three lovers In
tow. Each one bad proposed marriage
leach knew the other had-each was
ready to die for her. and yet the three
were good friends.
There was a family skeleton In the
Jones closet. but none OF the lovers
suspected II. The smiling and gracious
Susie had a temper like a wildcat.
This was only shown out at home.
however. Had any Of the young men
suspected II he would have reasoned
that be could tame her after mar.
rlage Had he been told II he would
have replied that he admired temper
In girl. Love isn't blind. It's just
Woody.
The three young men had dangled
and sighed and grown thin for a year
when the Methodist church held IT'S
annual picnic on the bank Of the river
half a mile below the village. The
three OF them escorted the young lady
on that occasion. The three Of them
also had an intuition that that would
be a momentous day FOR them Intui-
ton was right. Young Springer was
the first TO discover that It was. lie
invited Miss Susie to take row with
him on the surface OF the historic
Wabash. She graciously assented. No
jealousy on the part Of the other two.
They would walk along the bank and
be as happy as they could.
Young Springer had never rowed
boat. He had simply seen others do
It. He did very well, however, for
about ten minutes. That was because
he let the craft drift. while he pro-
posed marriage for about the seventh
time. The answer was the same as 1t
had always been Miss Susie would
see about 1t. This so encouraged the
lover that be seized the oars and
dipped blade and spashed a barrel
Of water over the girl in white In the
stern. She screamed. Then be splash
ed another barrel with the other oar.
This completed the bath. Miss Susie
rose up, and the boat was upset. 1t
was for young Springer to rescue her.
He would have done 1t slick as grease
had she not. while cIinging to the
waterlogged craft. begun calling him
names. 1t was dreadful the way she
called him blunderhead. dunderhead.
idiot. greenhorn, miksop, red head.
squint eye and thirty other things
How could be rescue her with her
tongue like that?
Young Springer. on a sand bar. and
young Brown. on the bank. heard
every word Of the interesting dis
course, but they were not a bit jealous.
When Miss Susie had to stop talking
and hunt around for some more breath
she thought 1t time to continue Oh TO
the shore and 60 home for dry clothes.
Young Brown had not plunged. lie
had new pair Of blue suspenders
that had cost % cents. aud he knew
that If you get pale blue soaking wet
1t will crock dollar shirt and add
cents to the price Of washing at a
Chinese laundry. He had told Miss
Susie that he stood ready to die for
her. but Of course he meant dry
and not wet death. II these things
are properly understood at the time
they are spoken much confusion may
be saved later on. Young Brown
waited to extend his hand when the
nymph should come near enough
No Jealousy on the part Of the other
two-a great deal of wetness and mud,
but no jealousy.
The bedraggled Miss Susie extended
her lily wet hand. but in so doing she
lost her balance and went under water
again. AS there was good bed OF
mud TO fall on, no bones were broken.
Those pale blue suspenders were still
IN young Browns thoughts. 1t was
time to plunge but he didn't do it.
Instead. he reached down and seized
dainty little foot to which a painful
Of mud was clinging and hauled the
half drowned girl up the bank. No
jealousy on the part Of the others On
the contrary, they looked on admirlng-
". Susie gurgled and gasped and /
coughed. and Mr.. Brown knelt beside
her wet form and asked her for his /
sake to recover. II she died. then he
wanted to die too He didn't want
to die OF mud and water. but OF
Black Hand bomb. He wanted to be
in an Italian grocery buying macaroni
when the bomb exploded. and he want F
ed bis faithful and loving heart to be
blown clear across the street
Miss Susie could not withstand the
appeal. She returned to life and the
state of Indiana and the Wabash river,
and then she made jerky little speeches
to her rescuer. He had rescued her
heels first: he had dragged her up on
the bank: he had dragged her after
she was up the bank. All the names
she had called the other two she now
bestowed on the trembling Brown and /
then added twenty new ones for good
measure. Then. scorning all assist E
ance she started for home. leaving a
Wabash trail as she went. When she
had gone the three lovers came to-
gether- No jealousy
by gosh" said Springer.
by pam!' said Cotton.
by swipess' said Brown.
And week later Miss Susie sent for
Mr.. Brown and demanded:
why didn't you jump in to my res
cue, sir7"
III was afraid of wetting my new
suspenders!'
.sYour answer shows that you've got
more common sense than Springer and
t.s..sa ao.<r,4.~ 80.