The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1910-02-02

more b a that? why, then. does he
offer lie what he does?''
"And--and did he strike yot for a
loan?"
Lecturer Asitate6.
strike me for Il loan..' yelled Bow
ser as he jumped Il foot high. WON.
an. are you seeking to insult Inc in my
W house?"
VI course not. but l didn't know
"lnsuIted. maligned. stabbed in my
own u by my own wife. Strike
me for a oan! If John D. Rockefeller
should nod to me in the street, which
he often does, would it follow that he
wanted to borrow a dollar?"
"Well. when must you have your lee
ture ready" was asked
Mr.. Bowser was so hurt and indig-
nant that he didn't reply for five min
utes. He wouldn't have done it then
If he hadn't doubted his ability to
write out a lecture. Under the circum-
stances he finally growled that it was
wanted in a month.
And when shall you begin writing
it,"
Il" shall make a start on it tonight
II l can think of a subject. and there
ought to be no difficulty about that. I
should say that The Rise and Fall Of
Bowser'' would be a good thing"
Eyes. but wouldn't The Rise and
Fall of Mr.. and Mrs. Bowser' be a bet.
ter title"
Il don't see where you come in. and
I don't think the public is at all inter-
ested in hearing about a IN If
they want Bowser, l am Bowser."
swell. ! shan't complain if you leave
me out. What are you going to- say
about your RISE"
Il can't tell until l get at it, but it's
got to be made very funny"
why, it isn't to be a funny lecture.
is it," asked Mrs. Rowster in seeming
astonishment.
Are you a born idiot?'' whooped
Mr.. Bowser as he danced around and
frightened the cat out of the room.
"Of course it's to be a funny lecture.
Did you think l was to lecture on
graveyards! BY jinks, woman. l Won
der If there's another woman like you
in the whole world!'
An Early Recollection.
But you hadn't said, you see, and
I couldn't be sure. l had an idea that
1t might be temperance. If it's to be
funny and on your rise and fall l can
surely help you. You were twelve
years old the first time l saw you, and
you were caught on a rail fence BY a
silver. You would have made the fun
NEST photograph in the world. l
laughed for a whole week after"
Caught on a rail fence by a ~sliverv'
I'm the country. Young man, caught
on top rail of fence by silver, is in
grotesque position. House, highway,
young lady in distance"
Madam, is this another insult?'
sternly demanded Mr.. Bowser.
"And then | have all your old love
letters, and you car make some ex-
tracts. They will convulse your audi
ence with merriment. l was looking
them over yesterday, and l go to
laughing so that
go on with your insults! Your time
is Short"
And the hats and shoes you used to
wear as a young man. Every time
see the word Lulu l think of you as
you were in your tender days. And
poetry you wrote! You sent me
two poems a day for a whole year.
poems on my hair, eyes, chin and feet.
and every poem was a foot long. And
then when we sat together in the
moonlight and you held my lily white
hand-oh. Mr.. Bowser. you can make
funny, awfully funny!"
woman, have you finished? II so
/ want to tell YOU that the train for
your mothers leaves
Struck For a Loan.
But there came a ring at the bell.
Mr.. Bowser went down the hall and
opened the door. and a man staggered
In and leaned against the wall and
said in a silly way:
"Bowsher. Pm er Shakespeare club,
you know"
EYES,"
"You goin' to lecture fr me-"
"Um!'
million dollars a mint"
"Um"
Lend me ten. I'm busted"
MI. Bowser took the man by the
arm and led him outdoors and down
the steps to the gate. Then he headed
him up the street and kicked him
thrice and let him 90. and the Rise