davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1910-12-30
Life on q Rattleshin.

To the landlubber one of the Pc
culiar and Outlines discomforting ele-
ments of life on warship during tar
get practice is the necessity for nu-
merous baths After each volley all
the men ON deck must take a bath.
Sometimes there are four or five baths
a day. This becomes quite monoto-
nous. The japanese inaugurated this
practice. A bath is taken before and
after shooting to guard against pos
sible infection of open scratches and
cuts from the flying powder When
the big guns go off the landsman on
deck is thrown into CONSERVATION. A
horrible, sickening wrench makes one
feel as if each limb were separately
grasped and pulled in various direc-
tons, and it is long time until he
gets his "sea legs" again. Life aboard
ship is not the ordeal that rumOr has
characterized it. The bareback legend
is erroneous. The sailors are we'll fed
with the best viands procurable, ana
their bread, far from being bareback,
is as good as that which is served IN
any high class hotel or restaurant.
There is a spirit of good fellowship
among the men below decks. FACE
man has his separate duties definitely
designated, and there are no petty jeal-
ousies.-J. W. Aide in LeSlie's.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1910-12-30
Letters and postaoe stamns.

Strange ideas some people have
about POSTAGE" said the clerk who
opens the mail "Yes. See this letter
here with three one-cent stamps on it
and stamped / cent due? That's a
case in point. The writer of that let
ter thought that perhaps it weighed a
little over an ounce, little more than
would go for 2 cents, and so he put on
a little more postage cent more
which he thought would cover it,when
the fact is that 1t required an addi-
tional two cent stamp. Of course you
know that letter postage is not frac-
tiOnal, but that it goes in multiples of
two. If letter weighs ever SO little
over an ounce it requires an additional
two cent stamp. But not everybody
seems to know this and so we some
times get letters like this one with q
little more postage for a little more
weight."-New York Sun.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1910-12-30
(which CARLYLE ?p


There Is nothing to mark the Arch
House, where Carlyle was born. in the
Scottish village of Ecclefechan, from
the other lowly dwellings that line the
village street, and native guide will
be needed if the pilgrim desires to.
ind his way to Carlyle's grave; hence
the story of the great writer's brother,
James, who was met one day in the
village by band of Americans Igno-
rant of his identity, they asked him
the whereabouts of Carlyle's grave.
(Which Carlyle?" "Oh, the great Car
lyle, Thomas Carlyle Win unmoved
face he gave the information asked
and was rewarded with fine outburst
Of hero worship 1--WE have come all
the way from America said the
spokesman of the pilgrims. ito lay
this wreath on our great teachers
grave ''Hav' rejoined James, still
unmoved. Its a gey harmless occu-
pation!" All of which, and especially
that which Carlyle?" goes to show
how vain is the search of the man who
visits Ecclefechan on the lookout for
worshipers of Carlyle.-Argonaut.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1910-12-30
NO Place For His Talents.

At ST. Johns q man slowed away
upon Harry Whitney's yacht, bound
for an arctic hunting trip. He was
discovered too late to return him to
the little Newfoundland port, but
Whitney de rmined to make him
work his passage He wasn't success
full at this, however. The stowaway
simply couldn't see any sort of work.
Short of personal violence he couldn't
be made to button his collar.
"By thunder" Whitney said one day,
"I've a notion to leave you here at
Esah." The stowaway seemed mourn
full.
"Bee-lieve muh, Mr.. Whitney" he
said emphatically, 'you haven't made
me so welcome on board your fingered
old yacht that / want to stay. But
what could do up here" He swept
his hand around at the Eskimo huts,
half roof and the rest hole in the
ground.
what is your business, anyhow
Whitney asked curiously.
az" said the stowaway, lam Sec
ond story worker" -Cincinnat Times
Star.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1910-12-30
The Cars snuffbox.

Gar Paul's snuffbox was as sacred
as the imperial crown itself. No one
was allowed to touch it. Kapioff wa
gered that he would take pinch out
OF it. One morning he walked up to
the table which stood near the bed on
which the car still reclined and bold
ly took from it the majestic snuff
box Opening it noisily. he inserted
his fingers. and, while Paul l. was
watching him in stupefaction at such
audacity, : be shifted up the fragrant
powder with evident satisfac ion.
What are you doing there, you
rogue" exclaimed the car excitedly.
Having a pinch of snuff. sire.
have now been on duty for eight hours
and. feeling drowsy. | thought it
would keep me awake, for / would
rather break the rules of etiquette
than neglect my duty
Paul burst out laughing and merely
replied:
That's right enough. my lad. but as
the snuffbox is not large enough for
both of us, you can keep it for your
SELF
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1910-12-30
Juvenile Wisdom.

From some examination papers in
MaSsachusetts-we repeat, Massachu
setts-town:
"Capillarity is when milk rises up
around the edge of the bottle and
shows good measure"
''The settlers gave Thanksgiving
dinner to the Indians for their kind
ness and to the Lord for fair weather.
They kept up their festivities for three
days, eating all the time. A party of
sixty Indian warriors came, rolling
their warhoops down the hill.'
Henry VIII. by his own efforts in
creased the population of England
100000"
"Esau wrote fables and sold them
for potash"
''The Lupercal was the wolf who
sucked Romeo and Juliet at Rome"
Lincoln has a high forehead, which
is a sign Of many brains. EVERY
body'S.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1910-12-30
The RuIina Passion.

1t is related of a certain German sa-
want, to show how strong the ruling
passion is in death, that as he was
dying he exclaimed in French, in
which language he was deeply learn
ed, ''Je meurs" Il die). Pretty soon he
opened his eyes before passing away
and added: ''Man kann auch sagen,
Je me meurs!' Zone can also in French
use the reflexive form of the verb ito
die.') His last flicker of interest was
in the word more than in the fact OF
death.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1910-12-30
Nelson as a Courier.

Nelson was the hero Of England
even in his own time, but not APP
parently of the court. Samuel Rogers
recounts a conversation with him
which appears in the life of the poet
by r. Ellis Roberts. II heard him
once during dinner" says Rogers, tut
ter many bitter complaints (Which
Lady Hamilton vainly attempted to
check of the way he had been treated
at court that forenoon-the queen had
not condescended to take the slightest
notice of him. In truth. Nelson was
hated at court; they were jealous OF
him." But then it must be remem-
bered that Rogers was renowned as
particularly iii natured gossip.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1910-12-30
Force of the Imagination.

There is story of a man who was
tied up in a dark room and Informed
that he was to be put to death by
bleeding. Els tormentors made a
small incision in his neck and arrang-
ed for stream of lukewarm water to
trickle down his back for fifteen min
utes. At the end of fifteen minutes
the man died of exhaustion. He had
not lost a drop Of blood, but he thought
he had. Such is the power Of sugges-
tion.-London Saturday Review.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1910-12-30
a STRANGE Situation,

"Humor is a very funny thing" said
Binks.
"It ought to be-" said the philoso-
pher
"Oh, / don't mean that way" said
Binks. "I mean that it is a strange
thing. Now, I can't speak French, but
I can always understand French
joke, and l can speak English, but
I'm blest if can see an English joke"
Most people are" said the philoso-
pher
care What?" said BinkS.
''Blest if they can see an English
joke" said the philosopher. ut is a
sign Of an unusually keen vision."-
Harper's Weekly.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1910-12-30
DisraeIi's Humor.

was introduced by particular re-
quest>to Mrs Wyndham Lewis, pref
ty little woman. dirt and rattle
indeed, gifted with volubility !
should think unequaled and of which
can convey no idea. She told me
she liked silent, melancholy men," |
answered that had no doubt Of it
Letter of Benjamin Disraeli to His Sis
ter.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1910-12-30
Suggested a Remedy.

Even medical gentlemen are not de-
void Of professional jealousy. Two
doctors were Dragging about the num-
Der of their patients.
"Why, last night was wakened up
half a dozen times" said the younger
doctor.
'sYou were, eh?' replied the other.
"Well, why don't you buy some insect
powder?"
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1910-12-30
Did Not Look Like If.

.'What is it?" asked the visitor in
the studio.
IAN Italian sunset" replied the
proud artist.
"Ohv'
Didn't you ever see an Italian sun
setY'
'Oh, yes. That is the reason asked
what it was. "-Yonkers Statesman.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1910-12-30
An Ontimist.

s'Pa, what is an optimism"
"An optimist, my son, is man with
IL cents in his pocket who doesn't
grow sarcastic whea he reads that his
country's per capita wealth is $37."-
Birmingham Age Herald.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1910-12-30
Worth Trying.

II washed Willie's pants t'udder day,
and dey shrunk so dat de po' chile kin
badly walk in 'um. Won'er how I
gwan fix um?
'sTry washin' de chile. Maybe he
shrink too.''
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1910-12-30
ACCOMPLISHED

Blobbs-I never knew such liar as
Longbow. Slobbs = Yes; that fellow
could actually eat an onion and lie out
of it-Philadelphi Record.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1910-12-30
considerate.

'"The most considerate wife ever
heard Of" said the philosopher, twas
a woman who used to date all her let
ters week or so ahead to allow her
husband time to post them"
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1910-12-30
A Sno;Ied EVENING.

did she have a good time at the
dancer"
mot very. You see. nobody raised
any fuss because her partner took more
than five dances with her."-Detroit
Free Press.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1910-12-30
Ry Confraries.

Things go by contraries in this
world. People who have nothing to
say are always talking. Chicago Rec
ord Herald.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1910-12-30

A friend that you have to buy won't
be worth what you pay for him, no
matter what that may be.-Prentice.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1910-12-30
A Reliable
Remedy
EIy'S Cream Balm
is quickly absorbed.

- HN"' t@ESV'~N
Gives Relief at Once.
1t cleanses, soothes,
heals and protects
the diseased men,
brane resulting from
Catarrh and drives
away a Cold in the
Head quickly. Re-
stores the Senses of
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1910-12-30

Taste and Smell. Full size SO cts, at Drug
gists or by mail. In liquid form, rs cents.
Ely Brothers, Sc Warren Street, New York.
The Washington herald., 1910-04-24
BIG INDUSTRIAL EXPOSITION.
City OF the Straits TO Hold Exhibit
of Manufactures,


The great Industrial Exposition, TO be
held in Detroit June 90 to July g. will
be a miniature worlds fair. A huge tenn
porary exposition building and the Wayne
Pavilion will contain an electrical show,
a machinery display, a transportation ex-
hibit. a paint. oil, and varnish exhibition,
food fair, an automobile show, a tex
tile exposition. a furniture display, and
host OF novelties and specialties. II is
estimated that the total value Of exhibits
viii be between 100000 and $l.5oO.OOO
There will be more than 200 exhibitors
and the splendid support given the project
assures the fact that the exhibition VIII
rank with Cleveland's exposition Of last
year as the two greatest civic expositions
ever held.
The temporary structures are to be hur-
ried to completion so that there will be
ample time TO carry out the pretentious
decorating and lighting plans that are
TO make the display one OF unsurpassed
beauty. A great electric tower will be one
of the many features OF illumination. and
will attract the attention Of the hundreds
Of thousands Of passengers on the boats
DdSolIlE up anu uoWu the Retfoit river
So that there may he no doubt concern
ing the meaning of the tower, one of the
largest electric signs in the world will be
set in place on the river front announc-
ing the name and dates Of the exposition
in heroic letters that will be plainly visi-
bic from the Canadian shore.
That the exposition will be the greatest
civic event in Detroit's history is assured
and the prediction is freely made that
more than 100000 visitors will be attract
ed. The processes Of manufacture as well
as the products OF Detroit's factories will
be displayed and the running machinery
will have a musical accompaniment from
two large concert bands No effort is be-
ing spared by the committee OF 275 manu-
facturers. whose companies represent a
capital Of $l50OO0.OOO. to make the Detroit
Exposition the most important epo, in
the city's history.
The committee in charge of the expo
stion announces that the City Of the
Straits leads the large cities Of the coun-
try in industrial progress. It bases its
claims upon statistics furnished by the
Bureau OF the Census and challenges
comparison in the four essentials that de-
termine the industrial greatness OF. a city:
capital invested in manufacturing estab-
lishments: value Of manufactured pro-
ducts; number OF wage earners and wages
paid.
The Washington herald., 1910-04-24
The story of "A JumbIed PhotoCrnph.

Have you tried to put the pieces Of
the jumbled photograph together the
photograph recently published in this
paper by the F. G. Smith Piano Com
pany? 1t IS the most interesting mental
task ever submitted to Nthe people Of
Washington. II appeals TO young and
old alike. II looks easy until you try Then
after you have tried, and tried again. and
finally get the different pieces properly
adjusted. it is easy. Besides the salts
faction OF getting the photograph in its
original form. there are big inducements
urging you &c put forth your best efforts.
To successful contestants the F. c.. Smith
Piano Company, of 1225 Pennsylvania
avenue. are offering valuable prizes, in
Guiding a $3.50 player-piano. with ten rolls
OF music. player bench, stool, scarf. free
delivery, and free tuning for one year as
first prize; prizes IN gold ranging from
So to $. and additional prizes aggregat-
ing A,275 in discount certificates. These
prizes are given absolutely free to sue
cessful contestants. 1t will pay YOU 10
get one Of the advertisements containing
the jumbled photograph and get busy
at once, Solution must reach the F. G
Smith Piano Company before 6 .. m
Monday May Q
The Washington herald., 1910-04-24
MORNING CHIT-CHAT T.

n ZEN hasn't Y greeted as my neghbo and swung
you think 500? queried with little smile
there
acknowledged
Funny neghbO.
say nice something
Just coming having
my
parrot when greeted
IT showing blowing
o
intel
my greetings weather"
o me a make
thoughless distracted
absurdity. a thing
Of
about now?
compound
a
parts
grease things
compound parents
measure where NJ apparent
the "wandelust CAMERON
The Washington herald., 1910-04-24
SOMETHING"

Written for The Washington Heald.)
Something comes with the souls full
might
That yearns and calls till day grows
night.
Is it the shaft OF love or the arrow Of
death?
Is it to quicken and culver or gasp for
breath?
Down In my soul I laugh to know
What's there God wills to have il so;
The pulse that's in each flower and tree
Something, the same in the heart Of me.
The scent OF life that stirs and thrills,
To the brim with joy my spirit fills;
The earth is rich to its very deep,
All nature awake from it's winter sleep.
feel as If treading on holy ground,
Down by the creek where violets are
found;
The dance o leaves on the fresh green
sod.
Something! Is it love and the breath of
God?
Is It the tide Of grass or foam Of flowers
That love dreams open with sunlight
hours?
Something feel. when they lift their
heads,
God. walking there in the poisoning
beds
Something calls me when blue birds
sing.
| listen and tremble. so strange thing
In the bursting bud and blossom scent
Is It love or death for me is meant?
| All night long in deaths garden gray
Sad are the things the oak trees say;
Something! Was II God that answered
me?
Or love and death keeping company?
Heartbreaking things that won't stay
dead,
Something night long-uncomforted-
But when I awakened. Il was morning
time,
Something grew sweet with song and
rhyme.
When my singing voice grew full o.
| tears,
The song OF sorrow. Of long. sad years
Something listened, something smiled,
oh. twas the love of a little child.
Signing and laughing, love and tears,
Something's il the fruit OF years?
The fighting soul that still holds fame;
The glad sweet thrill Of the goodly game
Something-the glory Of trees and flow
ers:
Touched is my soul with living powers
Something that comes with the winds o
the South,
The dip of loves wings. the kiss OF hi
mouth
Father. God; how great Thou art.
Thy touch that vibrstes in my heart
Thy pulse in every flower and tree
! SOmething-the same Thou grantest me
ALLIE SHARPE BALCH.
I59 Euclid street.
The Washington herald., 1910-04-24

street. where they are now displaying
motor boats, canoes. &c. They delivered
on Wednesday a 36-foot cruiser 10 Mr.
H. c. Chandlee, 936 F street. and on
Thursday an iS-foot speed boat TO MI
II. f. Chandee. 1924 F street The COM
pany has also placed several Of its
canoes in the Potomac during the past
week
The Studebaker Company delivered a
'stanhope Studebaker" to Mrs David 5
Barry and a collapsible 'Landaulet' 20
Mrs. George Howard this week.
Mr.. /. l. Matthews has been trans
ferred from the Philadelphia house Of the
Roman Auto Company 10 take charge OF
the sales department Of the Washington
branch
After having piloted automobiles over
the United States in a variety OF motor
Ing competitions. Frank Y. Zirbes is
in Europe preparing TO drive Capt. VIII
liam Mitchell Lewis. head OF the Nit
chell-Lewis Motor Company. OF Racine,
Wis. over some Of the best highways
Of France. Switzerland, and Italy. II
time permits Capt Lewis TO include the
/ British Isles in his vacation itinerary
Zirbes will hold the wheel through Scot
land and Ireland, and over the great
/ highways Of England
Zirbes was still fighting the mud Of the
| pathhnding trip on the 1910 Glidden route
/ with the Mitchell Ranger car. after hav-
/ ing piloted the machine through the
floods Of Mississippi. Alabama, Tennes-
| see, and Arkansas. when he was Informed
( that the company had decided 20 give hin
/ an extended European vacation as q
/ reward for his pluck. aggressiveness. ant
The Washington herald., 1910-04-24
Excelsior Club Meets.

The Excelsior Literary Club met Tues
day with Mrs. Ferreu. Mrs. Mary r.
Ramsey was elected a member OF the
club. Mrs Frisbie read a carefully pre-
pared paper on the capital Of Iceland,
Rezkjavik. Mrs. Smith entertained the
club with a review Of Stevenson's novel.
Or Jekd and Mr.. Hyde" The next
regular meeting OF the club will be held
Tuesday. April %. at the home Of Mrs.
Engel. 700 North Carolina avenue south
east.
The Washington herald., 1910-04-24
FROM WOMAN'S
POINT OF VIEW.

Few Of US know or care how much we
annoy others by little acts which really
do us no good 1t is often my fate to sit
al the theater Just in front OF woman
who elevates one foot high enough 10
reach my spine through the opening be-
tween the back and seat Of the chair. ]
generally bear the annoyance for while
before speaking about 1t, and never has
there been one woman who took my pro-
test in a gracious way. She seems TO feel
that her rights have been invaded, and
takes no pains to conceal her feelings.
Then there is the neighbor who finds
one seat insufficient, and encroaches I'M
comfortably Generally that is a man,
and I never found a way 70 make him
properly conscious OF his offense. The
man or woman who Is too large for the
ordinary seat or too restless TO keep
within its limits should buy two. like a
rich man whom I know, or stay away.
| The late arrival. who has no word OF
apology for making one rise and lose "A
part OF a play, and the one who huns
! through the score OF a musical piece are
real annoyances to be met with altogether
too frequently.
! Consideration for others is not COM
mon trait. There are hosts OF small ways
! in which such virtue could be shown and
leave a feeling Of real warmth n the
hearts OF human beings. Women might
refrain from breaking into a line OF pa
tient buyers AT a shop counter or before
a ticket office or at car station.
Last Monday watched a woman light
and tend a brush fire while her neighbors'
clothes lines were covered with wet
household linen. which caught and held
whatever floating particles the wind car
ried 10 them She did not put out her
own clothes till the next day. for the OBJ
vious reason that she wanted them 10
be unspotted. That woman owes a deal
to the neighbors, TO whose comfort she is
so Indifferent. as there has been much
sickness in her family for several years
and great kindness has been shown her
At a garage. one day. I heard the most
hideous noise I ever remember. not once
but several times during the fifteen min
utes needed 10 make some small repair,
on a motor car. I learned that Il came
from a fendish whistle invented by
chauffeur who drove for the owner o.
three cars ali housed at that place. NJ
protest came from the proprietors Of th'
place. although they were worn out witt
the noise. II is my private opinion tina
no employer would countenance such al
act. and the young man should have beer
taught lesson In thoughtfulness.
BETTY BRADEEN
The Washington herald., 1910-04-24
TWO ATTRACTIVE COATS FOR SPRING.
Paris Patterns Nos. 1900, 1878
All Seams Allowed.


kings
in
blouse
niche wide.
Of
in
appropriately developed cheyOt mOhar
o
with
sr
The Washington herald., 1910-04-24
FIGHT AGAINST TUBERCULOSIS.
Campaign of Education Started at
Armstrong Training school.

A lively campaign of education IN the
prevention Of tuberculosis is being waged
at the Armstrong Manual Training
School Under the leadership Of Or. sara
Brown, teacher Of biology. the students
are being awakened TO the possibilities
OF work which can be done by them
Through the Association for the Pre-
vention Of tuberculosis. Dr. William G.
Gwynn and DR.. William G. Woodward
were asked 20 give several talks TO the
students. DR.. Woodward gave a stere-
opticon lecture. which Illustrated the lines
OF work carried on In the District
The Washington herald., 1910-04-24
WRITERS TO GREET CARNEGIE
PhiIanthrOpiNt VIII Re Guest of Ma
tiOnal Press Club.

Andrew Carnegie Is TO be the guest of
honor al the National Press Club to-mor-
row night. Mr. Carnegie has arranged
10 come 70 Washington twenty-four hours
ahead Of the dedication OF the magnif-
cent home which he has given 10 the
Bureau Of American Republics, in order
10 greet the newspaper men Of the Capital.
Mr.. Carnegie will be given a cordial
welcome in the recently enlarged and
redecorated rooms Of the Press Club. at
S o'clock. and it is expected that he will
have a few informal remarks 10 make TO
the chroniclers Of fact and fancy.