Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1910-10-13
JIMMY K. JOHN
Writes in a Discouraged Sort
of Way on Various Topics
But Every Cloud Has
d Silver Lining

aged. 1t seems to me that the cores
rondents are all getting cold as the
fall Of the year comes around. Wake
up. all you writers, let's have news
from everywhere. Don't freeze up be-
cause the weather is getting cold 1t
will only give you exercise to write to
the News. Come on and let's see who
can furnish the most news. I know l
can't give you much news but | can
tell you all about mine and Sal
troubles and we have our share.
The other day went to town and
got me a new suit of overalls and a
pair of brogans and derby, and when
went to see Sal thought she would
have a compliment for me, but when
l got there she was sitting talking to
man about forty years old who was
cross-eyed, hump backed, Anock-knee-
ed, bo~-legged aud pigeontoed l
walked in and said, ''Hello, pal, how
are your Then turned to Sal, Good
evening, Sal" "Howdy, Jim, rath-
er warm this evening"" eyes, and it
will be warmer for this old gentleman
here when l knock him out at the
door" ''Now, Jim, don't you come
in here talking like that This is
respectable man aud look what clothes
he has got on and then look at yours,
them horrible old overalls and that
derby and them brogans. Don't, you
lookferce by the side of gentleman !"
Look here, Sal, you talk like am
not gentleman. You have said
enough and I will not stand it any
longer l won't hit you, but | will
make this rascal pay for what you
said to me. You see l went off and
dressed up so I would not be ashamed
to come to see you. Now this is a
nice way to treat me- | will try my
hand on this wretch, and if don t
whip him l will not speak to you
again, and more than that | will
change my name from Jimmy K. John
to whipped rascal, and when said
that he run at me, but did no damage.
Well, that made me so mad foamed
at the mouth, but he struck me with a
stick and knocked me down and like a
fash he was on me, but he couldn't
keep me down. I came to the top and
got each of his ears in my hands, biff,
biff, bang, bang, his head was hitting
the floor so fast Sal couldn't count
the times, but the punishment was too
great, he couldn't stand it long, so he
hollered, LET me, up, Jim. 81
will kill you before let you up, you
internal dog. You came here and took
my girl away from me, and then ask
me to let you up. l will be apt to
guess. "Well, Jim, you can have
the girl if you will let me 60" For
goodness sakes, let him up, Jim. He
will go away if you will let him go. "
"Well, l will let him go if you say so,
butunderstand that it is now eitherone
or the other and that is the way we
will be when we die. This is not the
first time you have done me this way.
If it was could excuse you. But new
er will you get to call me hubby now.
1t is saying a great deal, but never
want to see you any more, -
Saying this turned and waved my
derby at my knockkneed enemy and
walked off, leaving them together and
I haven seen either of them since,
and can't say | want to.
Then l went and met two of my
friends and we talked my, trouble all
over, but while we were talking and
walking along side by side, all at
once we all came down in pile.
They had stretched line across the
road and tripped us all up, and mob
of about fifteen came out of the woods
and grabbed us and tied our hands be-
hind us and bound us up until we
couldn't move bit. Then they blew
a signal whistle which brought my
enemy with wagon. They threw us
in there like we didn' have any feel
ings.
They said, pals, we will meet you
at the old house down in the woods. T"
"All right, was the reply, 1--WE will
make them hard to catch. So he
drove out but he hadn't got far until |
discovered piece of iron in the wag-
on and l twisted and turned and
scrambled around until got to where
l could saw the string that held my
hands in two on the iron. Then l got
my knife and got busy cutting the
strings off of my friends. Then we
went to the old house and waited un-
til the man came with his wagon.
When he came and hollered for his
friends, how funny it was to see his
actions when he found out we were
gone.
Well, they commenced planning how
they would get us, but I'VE heard
them, They were going to trip us
again, and we found out that the cross
eyed man was going to stretch the
wife before the others came. Ma had
an old setting hen which had just been
setting long enough for the eggs to
have a good scent. So / told my
friends my intentions and they were
tickled to death nearly. So we went
and got those good smelling eggs and
went back to where he was going to
catch us and took our seat to wait for