The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1910-11-11

you win put me under everlasting
obligations"
"Wen. what is itY' she asks after
toiling upstairs.
Socks Also In Place.
Socks, Mrs. Bowser - socks" he
whispers with Il wave of his hand
i've been buying socks all my life.
I've bought over Il billion pairs. I
bought three carloads only last week,
and it seems as if ought to have at
least one pair around here. But I
haven't I've even been up on the
roof to hunt. Perhaps you will kind
ly''-
''See here" she interrupts as she
walks over to the dresser and pulls
out the bottom drawer. What do
you call these? Your socks have been
kept in this same place ever since we
lived in this house. Why didn't you
look in here?"
church! We will not stir a foot to
gow
II am glad Of it."
THAT is. we will go in spite Of all
! your tricks. l see your fine Italian
hand in all these little tricks, but we
shall go to church just the same"
Where did you get that necktie"
"What's the matter with it?"
cts one of your old ones l flung
into the storeroom. Here are the good
ones. And now l suppose you have
looked into the furnace and out into
the alley for your cuffs"
Exactly, Mrs. Bowser. I've hunted
for two long hours. but haven't been
able to find what you gave the cook to
kindle the fire with"
Right there under your nose In
your cuff box-ten or twelve pairs"
II think see the drift Of this
thing" said Mr.. Bowser as he shook
all the cuffs out of the box. "You and
1 will have long talk after returning
from church. You may 60 down If
you WISH"
Mrs. Bowser disappeared, and he
suddenly thought Of his cuff buttons.
To his great surprise they were be-
fore his eyes instead of being under
lHC Deu " LIS lul luel dludLcLucAI
he donned his coat and vest without
the bedstead falling down or the lava
tory exploding. but he soon recovered
from the shock and walked out into
the hall and shouted
IF there is a living soul downstairs
let them answer me"
Mrs. Bowser came upstairs to ask
what was the trouble.
More Trouble UntansIod.
might l presume to ask what your
object was In sewing up my coat and
vest? See how they hunch!"
She advanced, gave the garments a
few pulls and jerks. and the lunches
disappeared.
"And these trousers" he said-"they
are forty rods too long"
'"That's because your suspenders are
dangling around your knees instead of
being over your shoulders"
But this internal collar is saving
my ears off. When l hear Of hus
band chopping up his wife with the
AK
Pull your shirt down and your col
lar will be all right. You are all
lunches"
Mrs. Bowser. am going to look
for a handkerchief, but of course II
will be labor lost The cook is doubt
less using them for dishcloths."
She pulled out one Of the small
drawers of the dressed, and the hand.
kerchiefs were there Then she turn
ed and walked downstairs. Half al
hour later Mr.. Bowser followed. He
had put on the old suit he used when
he worked around the house. 1t was
greasy. paint spotted and ragged. AS
Mrs. Bowser looked at him for an ex
PLANTATION he said:
mo, ma'am, | am no hypocrite. If q
hypocrite belonging to this household
wants to go to church and pretend tt
be interested in religious matters she
t can 60. but as for me l will not dis
: semble. This is the worst run house
in America. and l have to put up witt
more than any other husband in Amer
lea, but will not play the hypocrite
:, You can got to church. but will stay
at home and rip and tear and cuss
around. and If get drunk and muir
der somebody l know that jury Of
,, my peers will say:
"'Poor man. he was driven to 1t ant
must be held blamelessv"