davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04
REPRESENTATIVE LONGWORTE

. REPRESENTATIVE LONGWORTH
IL might have been expected to tell
this story some years ago when he
was "Nickier" than he is today; but
its truth is vouched for by Washing
ton newspaper that never-well, hard
ly ever tells lie. Thus it is:
Tucked away among the valuable
trophies of Representative Nicholas
Longworth is a dollar bill.
THE first and only dollar l ever
earned" says Mr.. Longworth, always
excepting the $500 per annum that
Uncle Sam is good enough to pay me
for the honor of representing, in part
the city of Cincinnati in the house OF
representatives.
1T happened in a political campaign
several years ago. I had been on the
stump around the state of Ohio. One
night I made speech in little town
which supported small but com,
Portable hotel. was well known in
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04
Spook, i'm Hurry, Loses False Teeth

tant engagement on another planet,
until the spirits set of false teeth fel:
to the floor.
simultaneously. ave other detec-
tives had turned on the lights and the
illumination revealed a woman of mus.
cular build struggling with Fitzsim-
mons. four other women vainly seek
ing egress at a door guarded by de-
tective, and other men and women.
one of the former more than 70 years
old, covering in their chairs.
Mrs. c.. B. Green's naturalization
of those in the beyond had been emf.
nently successful from the standpoint
of the detectives, resulting in the ar
rest of five persons besides Mrs.
Green, who is so years old, and who
had impersonated the detectives
grandfather.
At the Harrison street police sta
ton one of the women Indignantly de-
MED that her name and initial were as
sumed as descriptive of the part she
had been playing at the seance.
The raid followed the issuance of
warrants against Green and his wife
taken out by Detective Fitzsimmons
as result Of complaints from per-
sons who alleged they had been de-
frauded by the Green's
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

r HERE is man in Washington who
i at some stage of his drinking be-
comes very melancholy. The joys of
life go hence then. He shuns his CON-
panions, be they never SO boon. His
thoughts-his black thoughts-sufice
He does odd things. One night he had
been at club with a number Of
friends. Along about 'steenth drink
time he rose, donned his overcoat and
left His friends, knowing his moods,
did not seek to detain him. He went
over on Pennsylvania avenue.
'Keb, sir? Carriage?" asked on of
the many who pilot seagoing hacks
over the pavement.
Yes, want keb, sir, a carriage"
said the bibulous one, with indigna-
ton in his tone, though there was no
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

NH1CAGO.-"Let me talk minute.
~ have an important engagement on
another planet, and must hasten" de-
manded in sepulchral tones the spirit
OF Detective Philip Fitzsimmons' de-
parted grandfather at spiritualistic
seance at 1856 Indiana avenue a few
nights ago.
Perhaps Fitzsimmons' departed
grandfather was unaware that since
his departure the grandson had Joined
the Chicago police force. At all events,
neither the spirit" nor the "sitters"
were prepared for what ensued.
Fitzsimmons, cropping his way in the
darkened room to the cabinet, seized
hand outstretched from it and
dragged the spirit forth, struggling vio-
lently and emitting shrieks in a fem
mime voice, strangely in contrast with
that which had announced the impor-
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04
Live Man Has a Funeral "Cortvzha -

occasion for it. Il want three kebs.
Let 'em prophesy about me-"
The cabman scampered his horse
down the avenue till he found two of
his like. All three trotted their horses
back to where the generous one was
waiting. The generous one eyed the
equipages sadly as they drew up to
the curb. The first hackman de-
scended and opened the door of his
vehicle.
Where are your friends, sir?" he
politely inquired.
"Friends?' the customer repeated.
Il have no friends, I'm going to use
all these wagons myself. This is a
cortyzha my boy, a cortyzha. Pro.
ceed."
And in single file the three cabs
proceeded to the Blank apartment
house. The generous one paid the
bill of all three cabmen. He was al.
most happy to think that he had
pulled of something while alive that.
according to his friends, he would not
get when he was dead, if he kept his
present pace.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

CT. LOU1S.-With eggs 40 cents a
- dozen. Fred Parker ate two dozen
fried and asked for more.
Fred Parker is not the ]. P1erpont
Morgan Of St. Louis. as might be
thought from his costly epicurean feat.
He is not even the owner of a paltry
million, and while he does not have
to walk or hang on street car straps in
his travels about the city, his riding
is done. not in an automobile ton.
neau. but on the seat of an express
wagon.
He was turning in" at the head
quarters of his employers, at 1871 Del
mar boulevard, when he heard the
other drivers discussing the increase
in the price of food
Il carried crate Of eggs on my
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04
Some Wants of a Big Hotels Guests

inaugurated it was expected that the
guests would take kindly to the idea,
but nobody expected so many sugges
lions would come in.
Bouquets and brickbats, little and
big suggestions, peculiar requests
all sorts of missives have been
dropped in the box. One man wrote:
do not change a thing. Your hotel
is the best anywhere for the money,
and there are few better at any price,"
That same day this came:
Il wish you would have kilograms
put in the guests box. l asked three
times for telegram to-day, and be-
cause it wasn't in my box lost a
bunch of money" He was from Co
bait. Ont
Would It not be a good idea."
wrote another, presumably woman.
Ito have, either free or at a nominal
cost. rubber caps that may be put on
the head when getting under tho
shower" This suggestion probably
will be adopted.
One man wants the writing desks in
the addition made higher; another
would like talcum powder and dental
cream in sample tubes furnished free
with the soap; another would appre-
ciate little sponge in every room to
stick" envelopes with. while still an
other would find laundry slips in the
rooms convenience
Il would like hook put at the
head of my bed" wrote an idiosyn-
crous marvel, Ito hang my vest on.
so that when l wake up in the morn
ing could reach out and get my
watch to see what time it is"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04
Eats Two Dozen Eggs to Win Wager

wagon to-day said one of the men,
land if anything had happened to them
1t would have been me to the woods.
My next months envelope wouldn't
have paid for them"
whats that?" demanded Fred
Parker. breaking into the conversa-
ton. why, l eat a dozen eggs be-
fore breakfast every morning, just to
get my appetite up. could eat two
dozen in ten minutes now"
We've got ten dollars that says
you can't" said one of the men.
You're on" said Parker. and 1t was
then agreed that he should have q
loaf of bread, all the coffee he want
ed. and Is minutes to clean up" the
repast.
The first five minutes showed the
other drivers that they we're losers.
At 7:43. two minutes before his time
was up. Parker had consumed the
eggs, the loaf of bread and bottle
of catsup. and had drunk two quarts
Of coffee.
Now" he remarked. as he pocket.
ed the ten dollars, I'm going out and
get dinner"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04
LITERARY DISCREPANCIES.

Where are the scribblers. the ureless
scribbIers.
Who dealt in historical lore
And ended things right
With hair-raising fight,
In which vtllainy settled its scorer
Where are the fakers, the dear nature
takers, =
Who, turned out the animal dope?
We miss their weird tales
OF wolves. badgers and whales.
And will keep right on missing. We hope.
; Where are the plotters. the old-fash-
Toned plotter1,
Who cooked up a highly-spiced mesa
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

continued
myself have fe the weight the necaes
supplies all
be higher but while thought the matter do
not KNOW Just what causes the
with wages that is increased
living"
might
the evils
AS to that am prepared to say replied the cardinal Some
evidently
priced at such enormous figures You for that heartily
will
Of
Il believer
Work Of
bodies
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04
A SOFA BEAN COW.

I'm a-goin' to sell my COW:
Amt no use to keep her now;
Amt no use a-gittin' out
Fore daylight, or thereabout,
Feedin'. milkin'. cleanin' stalls,
Bundled up in overalls.
No. sir-ee." said Amos Green.
Il shall plant a Sofa bean.
I'm the papers I hev seen
In Japan they hev a bean
You kin plant an raise an boil,
With u mighty little toll;
Then you kin squeeze out, I swow.
Milk ez good ez any COW;
Milk that's white an pure an clean
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

The Chinese tongs are getting about
as lively In murderous way as the
Italian Black Hand. 1t is about time
that the abuse OF this nations hospi.
tally by foreign assassination So
cteties was checked by q little more
care In opening the doc: of our ou-
portunities to undesirable immieranta
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

While one astronomer declares that
there are no canals on Mars, another
asserts the planet has 900 and that
the Martians are still digging. There
being no way to decide, the lay world
can take whichever view it pleases. In
the meantime, all present energy on
the subject is needed in the perfectine
of the one canal we have here.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

An airship expedition is to be sent
to discover the north pole under the
auspices of the kaiser himself. Fail
ure to locate that locality will there.
fore. be in the nature of lese majestic
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

A convict in Minnesota prison has
succeeded in growing mammoth
lemon. AS If those of the ordinary
size handed out day after day to un.
willing recipients were not large
enough!
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

Two hours after getting a divorce
In Nevada the woman in the case
married again, and the Judge granting
the divorce was highly incensed at
what he termed making farce of the
courts, says the Baltimore American.
But then, interested citizens can hard
ly be expected to take better care of
the dignity Of the courts than the
Judges themselves
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

Now 1t Is denied that Mars has
canals. Perhaps, in the general
smashing Of received beliefs, it will
even be denied that there ever was a
north pole.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

Cleveland theatrical reform in the
matter Of preventing people from dis.
turbing the auditors by struggling in
during the first act looks like a reac-
ton to primitive principles, says the
Pittsburg Dispatch. Presently some
backwoods city will be advancing the
idea that theaters and operas are not
conducted for the purpose OF holding
Conversations In the boxes.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04
HUGHES TO QUIT POLITICS

Gov. Hughes of New York is going to get out
of politics. He will not be candidate for office
again. This is good news to certain class Of
people. especially the race track ring Of New
York. Racing fourished in New York when
Hughes took hold as governor The man who
brought the insurance companies, with their bill
lions of dollars, to terms and made them be good.
didn't jump at the racing barons right away.
He bided his time and then went after them right.
AS result the betting end of the business, which
has become the real issue. was practically killed.
The oral betting system, through a decision of
court is still in existence. but through it the
"piker" is not much in evidence. The clerk who
earns only few dollars a week and had been
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

building clouds This
ably do high Pauhan ans
hours he will
Mrs Pauhan husband
a
the wife
flights
baby
has the arshp vehicle
will be
will eat home then start in their arshp have
skim through the unreasonable.
honored by
distance of AN miles
laid himself liable Angeles
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

A school is to be opened on Long
Island to train girls to be good wives
and housekeepers. Now a correspond
ing school should follow to train young
men to be good husbands and pro-
viders
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04


do not the
the affairs the
Hughes sad
the in
of
% him.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

A French aviator is reported to have
fallen from his aeroplane into a tree
and escaped injury. Sounds like the
twentieth century Munchausen.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

Whenever it happens that there Is
no great question demanding immedi-
ate solution 1t is always possible to
renew the discussion as to the exist
ence of canals on Mars.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

.Halley's comet, as seen through a
telescope few days ago, appeared to
have only stub of tail. Possibly
It is the fashion to clip the tails of
comets this year.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

Minister WI has talked into a pho
nograph, but as he did not ask any
questions the record will always be
open to suspicion.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

When railroad trains collide the rich
man has no better chance Of escape
than his poor fellow-traveler.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

The days have begun to lengthen,
but it all in the afternoon when it
doesn't make getting up early in the
morning any easier
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

However, any other winter resort is
as much entitled to advertise an ex-
elusive view of the comet as is Cali
fornia
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

Lowering height record and rails
Ing low record is one and the same
to French aeroplanists.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

DR.. Osler's Endorsement of the sour
milk diet doesn't make it any the
more palatable.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

A dispatch from Georgia says the
peach crop has not yet been injured.
Before we begin to cheer Justify, let
us hear from Delaware.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

What long time the world will
have to wait to find out whether any
really great men were born in 1909!
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

Meanwhile other parts of the coun-
try are exhibiting weather just az
startling as ours.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

Chicago would like to have the in
ternational balloon races next fall, but
1t cannot agree to remove the lake for
the occasion.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

For the last time, will the gentle
man who assured us we would have
an open winter kindly send in his pho
tOgraph?
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

That first carload of spring vegeta-
bles with has left the gulf region will
be lucky If it does not bump into a
cold wave
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

The man over 40 who doesn't own
farm may lay his lack to Ill luck,
but generally he will find the cause in
his own makeup.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

If, as the days begin to lengthen, the
cold begins to strengthen, we have
some strenuous weather due US during
the next 60 days.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

the way to suppress highwaymen is to
suppress them.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

While the per capita circulation of
money is large enough, frequently it
is difficult to make it connect with the
individual.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04
PAUL HAN A DARING AVIATOR

Louis Paulhan, the daring French aviator, has
been running sort of aerial bus line out at Los
Angeles Cal. In addition to breaking some rec
ords and taking 20-mile trip out the Pa
cif1c ocean. Paulhan has been coolly carrying
some distinguished passengers around among the
clouds. Among these was William Randolph
Hearst, publisher, and sometimes spoken Of as
a possible candidate for president. Mr.. Hearst
enjoyed the ride so thoroughly that he wrote an
account of it for his own papers and it was pub
lshed every line of it.
This Paulhan seems to have uncrowned
Wright brothers kings of the air"
From New York recently came the announce
ment that the Wrights have given up flying them
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

Unless you are pyromaniac do not
night the kitchen fire with gasoline.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

: = E5.3 = r1t$$sszIHITS HIGH PRICES

i, The high cost of living, which seems to be
getting higher right along without any apparent
prospect of relief has attracted the attention of
one man who is powerful enough to do something
toward checking it. The man is Cardinal Glib
bons, head of the Catholic church in the United
States One word from the cardinal and millions
of his people would stop eating meat The effect
5of such a thing on the meat trust can well be
imagined. 1t is hardly probable that Cardinal
Gibbons will take such action, but he says he is
ready to do anything in his power to make the
necessaries Of life cheaper for the people.
"Something must be wrong with economic
conditions in the country" he said when wages
and salaries remain the same when at the same
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

Napoleon's hair is for sale. Which
color do you prefer?
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

An earthquake is reported in Della
ware: Naturally. it was little one.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

In this age, the water wagon ought
to be an automobile.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04
GRAVES THE NEW FORESTER

When President Taft appointed Henry S.
Graves forester of the United States to take the
place of Clifford Pinchot there were many express
sions OF surprise in Washington. 1t was not be-
cause there was any belief that Mr.. Graves will
not I'LL the bill. or of any doubt that he is not
entirely competent, but because Graves is one OF
Pinchots henchmen. To hre Pinchot and then
put Graves, a man who was made by Pinchot, in
his place was rather unexpected Of the president,
to say the least. 1t must have been gratifying
to Pinchot.
Mr.. Graves gives up the position Of head OF
the Yale forestry school to work for the govern
ment He was a Pinchot protege and entertains
substantially the same views and advocates the
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04
The un.to.Date Answer

The Up-to-Date Answer.
"Ah, my lad. you are a fine little
fellow"
Thank you, SIR"
And are you mammals boy or
papa's boy?"
Il spend six months in the custody
Of each" answered the urchin~ courte-
susly.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

Avoid meeting the crime wave on Z
cold night. Or at any other time
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

hasak a firm conservation.
will
Of
needt the
Joined Pin
conditions
became
In
the of
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04
Frum the Japan Sofa bean

Frum the Japan Sofa bean.
Whats the use a-raisin' hay,
Foohn' all your time away?
what's the use a-doin' chores
When you jest could stay indoors.
settin' by the stove. an boil
All your milk an save your toll?
No, siree," said Amos Green,
Il shall plant Sofa BEAM
What is not needful and is common.
~ wrong, is to pass a judgment on our
observation-disclosures.
Vlolets under the snow are much
less expensive.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

This is fine growing weather fol
coal bills.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

With pirates galore
On q lone island shore
After manner OF one r. L. g.
Where are the farmers. the book-WritinG
farmers,
Who Harumized early and late?
The b'gosh tale Is dead,
With its royalties fed,
And there's Grape on the old farmhouse
gate.
A High Liver.
What did he die off,
HE lived too high"
Regular glutton, chr ~
No.. a struggling aviator, who dIdR't
hang on tight enough one day."
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-02-04

Incidence.
"Bliggins is the LATEST man l know
Of"
why doesn't he make some New
Year resolutions?"
He does, annually. But in order to
save trouble he merely takes his orig.
inal set and puts ditto naarlx :7de,
them"
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-02-12
9gt 9tronz, r


5c-Black and tan paste. for 25c.
19c-Glycerole liquid polish, was 2oc.
10c-Glycerole friction polish, was 2oc.
So 65-WOMEN'S SHOES-Every leather
and every style made. You will find values
among these that will surprise you. These shoes
are worth So 30 to $500
81 95-BARGAIN TABLE Of women S sam
pie shoes, worth 500, $500 and $500, Your
size may be among them
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-02-12

SO 345-WRIGHT & PETERS high
grade footwear for women. which
sells regularly at $500 to 800 We
must have room for spring Oxfords,
which are coming in fast.
1925 - BOYS HIGH CUT
BOOTS, worth $3.50 to $500 They
cost us more than the sale price.
Your choice of any pair left They
are sensible and serviceable foot
wear for the boys.
S2.95-BOYS' HIGH GRADE
SHOES, patents. calf and kid, Good
year welts and the best made
$1.00-MEN'S, BOYS AND
WOMEN'S Indian moccassins, worth
S1.75 and $500.
$10O-INFANT SHOES, over
twenty styles; strictly new, worth
Sl2o and 81 30.
$195-MISSES' AND CHILL
.DREN'S SHOES FOR SCHOOL,
patents. calf or kid skin, some splen-
did values and styles.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1910-02-12

35c-We have about 100 pairs Jersey leggins
left. for women and children; they sold for
S1.00
$10o-W Womcns Boudoir slippers in red,
black, brown and blue.