davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06
A GOOD-NATURED LOAFER.

Long about this time o year
When May 3 a-ringin' round the rosy,
BlusFiu plum from ear L ear
An purity as & garden posy,
'Tc9.z Z me q Teller then
Had surely Orter be forgiven
Shrkin' work an worries when
There's better ways an means O. hvin'l
Gimme hook an line an bait
An dawg or two { tag behind no
Want t see me then Just wait
Or ma kin tell y where t find mel
Ma makes out she's plum give up
ReformIn' me, an sDubtful whether
I'm the worst or lop-yeared pup.
An loWin' that We so together!
Hides my coat as like ss not.
But then what is coat-or laek-or
Ennything as longs I got
A hook an line an plug terbaCkerl
Earthly thingsl Now what are they
When Teller hears tn willeFs swishin'-
Hears EN- calm far away
An bid him n-fshin'-hshin'. IS
Up an down OF scraggiy banks
The banks that ! know every rod Of,
Twist an turns an all their pranks
An love the very grass an sod OF;
Know where clubs is speshul thick
Amt root in all the eriek
That sometime ! want snagged upon It'll
Even birds, Il seems { me.
Take no account OF me-but dipptn'
Chirpin', too. contentedly,
Like me an them was pardnershippin'l
Watch OF tuTkle on a stun
A-blnkin' like a wise oil seer
Sort O. says: Thy win be done''
Which corresponds with my ideer.
Norter snake comes out-p'tends
AS If he's tryin' { wiggle ''Howdy.''
Drst him. l don't make no friends
Vita his espeshul style o. Towdyl
All / want s my feabit pup
An tuTkie there-an' it's amazin'
How It holsters us three up
A-dGin' nothin only lain.
Know when noon comes on because
Ny stomach tells me When-or oEter-
True as slantin' shadders does
That htteT cross the lazy wortsr;
Sort O dream, an doze 4 bit
An listen TO the willers sWishin'-
Wonder If she's angry yit
Because I up an went a-hshiR'l
Sudden-like. across the knoll.
The sound Of dinner horn reminds me-
I'll forgive her. bless her SOUL
told y she'd know where & find met
John D. Wells. IL Buffalo News
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06
Declined with Thanks.

From the Hartford Corant.
The story goes that Republican nominees for Con-
gress Ia the Ohio districts declining With thanks
offers Of the committee to send Speaker Cannon 10
stump for them. They want to be elected Wonder
If the committee viii send Uncle Joe into Con-
neetlcut! The Democrats would welcome him.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06
NIetaphoricaIIy speaking.

From Exchange.
What do you think OF these new pail
aces have been rearing?" asked Mr.
Dustin Stax.
Magnificent" replied the cynic.
Yet" he proceeded, with a visible
effort to be modest, this early pomp
reminds ne that all the world is a
stage"
Right And the modern tendency is
to make up with fine scenery for bad
acting"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06
A Suspicion.

From the Chicago Post.
so you lost your watch. Did you re-
port It TO the detectivesT' asks the
friend
Yes Just came from headquarters, -
answers the man.
Got any suspicious as 10 who took it?''
II didn't have until after the sergeant
got through questioning me about it..
Now suspect myself of stealing it,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06
MinisteriaI Fore.ight.

From the Houston Post
81 see that the ministers are referring
to the Johnson-Jeffries fight as a moral
calamity"
How do they known
Know what?''
THAT Johnson viii VIM"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06
Foolish Questions.

From the Yonkers Statesman.
Pop
Eyes, my son.
Twill you please tell me something?"
What is il. my boy?"
Why, when you scratch your face Il
leaves a mark, and when you scratch
your head il dOesn't7'
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06

''Tammany may have TO answer for
many sins" begins the Chicago Post
Tammany viii not have to answer for
many sins of recent date. Indeed, Tam
many has not had a real, fighting chance
70 sin extensively for the past few
months
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06
ExtravnRant.

From the Chicago Record Herald.
THAT St. Louis girl makes use OF such
eXtraVagant expressions.
''I haven't noticed it."
Haven't you? Why. Just little while
ago she said she never opened her mouth
without putting her foot in it."
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06
NUNS the Word.

From the Wichita Eagle.
Roosevelt declines TO tell what he said TO Senator
Root. Senator Root declines to mention the things
he said to the colonel. Clifford PinchOt remains
mum regarding his conversation with the former
President. Altogether, it is very close corporation
80 far as news Is concerned.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06

"a grain Of rice which lodged In the
ear of bride of ten years ago. thrown
by an enthusiastic friend has Just
caused her death. from Inflammation Of
the brain" observes the Rochester Her
aid. It is 1O0-to-1 shot that the friend
will never die from any sort OF brain
trouble.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06

Still, II the colonel had confined HIM
self TO the seasonable text. Beyond the
Alps lies Italy" some Of his critics would
have pointed out how Impossible It is
for him to speak without some sort of
reference TO the short and ugly word"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06
Getting There by Degrees

From the Christian Science Monitor.
Ex-PreSident Roosevelt is leslrely working his
way home by degrees The latest ons was con-
ferred upon him at Cambridge University, England.
q few days ago.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06

DO not marry without love- advises
Mr. Taft, addressing the sweet girl grad
uate. There is one charming thing about
the general run Of Mr.. Taft's adviee-it
usually is just the sort his audience de.
sires to hear
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06

Opportunity knocks once; rarely more
than that" admOnishes a contemporary.
Which proves that Opportunity is not
much OF an ''insurgent."
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06
Before and After.

I TON LIIts
The career Of every successful man
may be divided into two periods. First,
when he is not given credit for what
he knows; and. second, when he is given
credit for what he doesn't know.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06
Why This Hastes

From the Springfield Republican.
When Mr.. Ballinger retires. to whom will the
President send the nomination Of his successor for
confrmstioni To the United States Senate or 70
Messrs. Pinchot. Garfield. and CLAWS?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06

Can a druggist In a dry county sell
alcohol TO BARRIERS for use in compound
ing hair tOnics?" inquiries the Midland
(Ky) Republican. He can-and fire.
quently, mayhap he does. It is by no
means certain. however. that the BARRIERS
always use Il for that
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06
They're Not that Particular.

From the Chicago Record Herald.
The who inherits Lorimer's toga win. if he is
at all particular take pains to have it thoroughly
disinfected
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06
Turning the Tables.

From the Cleveland Leader.
You say he actually likes having his
wife be q suffragette and all that?"
yes. He thinks 1t fun 10 get up and
go through her trousers pockets for
change while she's asleep
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06

Local blind tigers ought to be made
TO comply with the pure food law" says
the Gadsden (Ala.) Times One Of the
sure things about blind tigers" it
seems, is that they cannot be made to
comply with any variety Of law
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06

And now Mrs. NAT Goodwin the
scientifically 1t is impossible to remem-
Der her number-is six-monthsing IN
Reno. New. Somehow. they seem to lose
their love for NAT" rather early in the
game
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06

By exercising great patience and per-
sisting In the search. It is our firm con-
viction that one might discover a June
magazine minus an article about the
former President OF the United States.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06
Cali a Conf

From the st. Louis Star.
"Are you a dentist?"
'~Yesm
IT have growth on my teeth which I
wish you'd try and arrest"
THE only way I can arrest 1t, madam,
Is TO pun tbs teeth
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06

''Hoke Smith has astonished Georgia by
refusing to run for Office" says the Bal
timore Sun. And yet our best bet is that
that is exactly and precisely what the
Hon. Hoke did not do.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06
CHAT OF THE FORUM.
4 Boon to Statesmen.

From the Chattanooga News.
II viii rot be los until statesmen can take TO The
air when their constituents get after them With q
sharp stick.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06

An Alabama man ninety-seven years
old attributes his long life to a persistent
diet Of hot biscuits. Despite his great
age. II Is not probable that one man in
fifty viii believe a word Of his story.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06

From the Kansas City Journal
Mr.. Bryan says that the next President win be a
Democrat, which goes 70 prove Alr. Bryan's con
sstency. He has said the same thing for the last
fourteen years
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06
Wouldn't Sound Well.

From Life
Mrs. Bronson-My husband Is plain
spoken; he calls a spade a spade.
Mrs. WOOdsOn-SO does mine. but
must decline to repeat what he calls the
lawn mower.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06

A Montana geyser Is spouting ice wa
ter. thus upsetting all scientific geyser
theories heretofore entertained. This.
considering what the comet did. looks
like rubbing 1t in on the scientists.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06

Learn to let CO." advises a physician,
A surgeon would express the same
thought, of course, in Cut out worry"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06
IS pro- MORNING IN THE SUBURBS.

spite OF the devil and high water" We
trust this rash partisan does not refer
subtly therein to Mr.. Bryan and his pro-
hibition views.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06

King George might remind the colonel
that there are six children in the royal
household. The colonel would approve of
that, anyway.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06

A number OF contemporaries have ex-
pressed great surprise that The Wash
ington Herald should have called upon
Senator Lorimer to resign" Not one of
them expresses any surprise, however,
that the Senator declined the suggestion.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06
Modified II.

How was the hotel you stopped at?-
so bad that father swore he would
never go there again"
THAT was strong language"
'Oh. / don't know. At first he swore
that he would never go anywhere again.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06
won, como Ont in the wash

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer
It is generally believed there viii be
little trouble in identifying that Texas
boy who swallowed a bottle OF indelible
ink
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06

From the New York Sun.
Steila-Do you understand basebali7
Reila-Perfeetly; but why does that man
run so hard with nobody after him7
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06

After a long and, presumably, painful
silence, Oyster Bay is about to be heard
from again.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06

The New York American most heartily
disapproves of Mr.. Roosevelt's Guild
hall speech, but is. most generously, ad-
vertising it to beat the band, neverthe-
less
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06

Our idea. dear New York Mall. of moth
ing TO predict is fair weather for one
whole day together
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06

Mr.. Bryan so loves the Harmon boom
that he is going to stick a pin In II and
see II 1t will collapse.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06

Only one more week, and the colonel
will sail away, leaving efrete Europe to
lfs fate
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06

Be still, sad heart. and cease repining
behind the clouds the comet isn't shin
ing, anyway.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06

Speaking of the higher criticism" dear
John Bull has been getting a dose of the
highest" of late
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06

II the Washington baseball team con-
tinues to play the game. next Thanks
giving Day may be worth while, after
a
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06

Of course, the dear public should realize
that a safe and sane Fourth cannot be
paid for in stage money.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06

An enthusiastic brother declares that
ohio is going Democratic next time. In
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06
Harsh Comment.

Congressman Graball is thrifty soul. -
Yes; It must Jar him to have TO make
speeches for nothing during his cam
paign.''
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06
One Good Point.

THAT comet failed to come up to ex-
pectations."
"oh. we'll; It didn't create any factions "
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06
A LITTLE NONSENSE.

MORNING IN THE SUBURBS.
creaki creak! with a wheeze and a
squeak
The old lawnmower mows;
While the pride of the flock. the boss
Plymouth Rock.
shrilly crows.
Whangl whangI IT'S the unceasing elang
OF the windmill above.
And the cats on the fence tender ballads
commence,
Songs OF love.
whackl Whaek! At the third or fourth
crack
All the sleepers awake.
Rub-a-dub! Rub-a-dub! It's the cook with
a club
Pounding steak.
Just So.
'It is positively wicked for the various
nations to spend so much money for bat
tleships."
''Dreadnaughty, so to speak"
Nothing Certain.
Baseball exeites me more than any
drama"
me, too. We know that the hero is
bound TO come out all right in the fourth
inning; but we don't know that the home
team Is going 20 win In the ninth act
Ask the NeighbOrs.
'T see that King George has moved into
Buckingham Palace"
How did the furniture size up?''
Always Adaptable.
Shakespeare was progressive quite;
And gentle VIII,
If working now, would maybe write
For vaudeville.
One Good Point.
THAT comet failed to come UP to ex-
| pectations."
] ooh. VOL: Il didn't create any factions "
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06

Shakespeare was progressive quite;
And gentle WIN.
If working now, would maybe write
For vaudeville
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-06-06
NotkInR Certain.

IT see that King George has moved into
Buckingham Palace
How did the furniture size up?''
Omaha daily bee., 1910-02-22
MOTHERS RECEPTION TODAY
Teachers and Pupils Of Avenue II
hoo VIII Give Public
Program.

The teachers and pupils of the Avenue
B school have issued invitations for the
annual Mothers Reception to be held
this afternoon from 1870 to 5 o'clock at
the school. The invitations are most at
tractive and appropriate. being folded in
the shape OF a cooked hat with a miniature
American flag as a seal. A program ap-
p%ropriate to George washington's birth
day will be given by the pupils and the
visitors will be served with tea.
In addition to the other program the
pupils of Miss Gretzer's room will hold a
debate. The subject to be debated is.
Resolved, hat It is fitting and proper
Robert Lees statue have a place in the
hall of fame at Washington The af-
firmative will be taken by Ernest Lloyd.
Emil Ogren and Hope Yates, while the
negative viii be discussed by Ernest Rath-
kie, edna Shreves and Dorothy Paine
George F. Hughes will act as chairman
at the debate, while the judges will be
Rev. ]. w. Jones, rector Of St. Paurs
Episcopal church; Rev. Father John o1NeI
of the Holy Family church, and Rev. A
V. Babbs of the Epworth Methodist church.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-02-22
Iowa News Notes.

GRUNDY CENTER Injuries which
Henry Wegstein, an old hotelkeeper of the
OF stairs ten days ago caused his death
last night. He had been in the hotel busi-
ness here for fhirty-three years.
CRESToN-Rev, w. r. Cox of Chicago
United Presbyterian church at this ilace
and his installation will take place
Wednesday, February q, at 2 O'Clock p. m,
Rev. N. Weingart of Clarified will act as
moderator.
BRITT-A. NJ. Deyoe, superintendent NJ
the Hancock county schools, yesterday an
nouneed his candidacy for state superin-
tsndent OF instruction to succeed John r.
Riggs. Mr.. Deyoe was born in Wisconsin
and came to Iowa In 1870. He is a graduate
of the state university,
CRESTON-While the family NJ William
Marts, who lived on a farm near Elmer
son, slept fire of unknown origin broke
out In their home, and not until almost
awaken. Then he had barely time TO GET
his wife and children out.
VINTON-Francisco Guthrie and George
Eddy. who are held here on indictments
charging the murder of Mrs. Guthrie in
Belle PLANE nine years ago, will be tried
next week. The two men will be tried
separately. the trial OF Eddy coming first
Eddy's case is set for Tuesday.
OAKLANDLCarlos Puryear, little son NJ
Giles Puryear, died this morning from
diphtheris and as a result Of many ex-
closed by the school board and the hoard
OF Health has forbidden any public gather
lngs for a few days, so all the churches
nave dismissed their services for next
Sunday.
MARSHALLTOWN-A romance which
mad It's beginning in the Cottage hospital,
Peoris, Ill, when Miss Gertrude Cross, a
former nurse Of this city, and. DIR. w. T..
Trewyn, a prominent physician OF Peoria
met, Is to eliminate in the couples mar
riage in this city early in June. The an
nouncement OF the approaching marriage
was made here today.
observation-disclosures High school
held It's oratorical contest Friday night
and the successful candidate to compete
for district honors at Corning I'm March
was Will Don Carlos OF the humorous
class, who won first over all other con
testants. But as the humorous class Is
already filled I'm the district contest james
Lane Of the oratOrical class will represent
he school at hat time. he occurring first
9rpror'Hai class. Cressie
Fabsr was first In the dramatic.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-02-22
ANTI-sALooN LEAGUE HAS A DAY
Reform Forces Are Given Privilege
of Talking I'm the PuIpits.

Reform Forces Are Given Privilege
of Talking I'm the PuIpits.
Yesterday was county option day In the
evangelical churches of Nebraska. The
crusade for that policy and the campaign
of the A~nti-Saloon league were discussed
In hundreds of pulpits. 1t was the fruit of
a plan laid some weeks ago.
Many lay workers occupied pulplts In
Omaha and other cities and towns. SEN
ator A. L. Patrick made the principal adj
dress In the pulpit of the Benson Presby-
terrain church, where a general mass meet
ing was held. Harry A. Stone spoke at the
First Baptist church in Omaha In the even
ing.
Rev. ]. NJ. Leidy, secretary of the league,
spoke In several small towns out in the
state.
Rev. X. B.. Norberg, pastor Of the Swed-
ish Methodist church, Nineteenth and Burt
streets, preached on "The Nebraska County
Option BILL" and Rev. Nathaniel McGlf-
fin, D.. D., pastor OF Lowe Avenue Presby-
terrain, Fortieth and Nicholas, used as his
subject THE Modern Anti-Saloon League
Crusade"
The one prevailing plea OF the ministers
and laymen was for a still more aggressive
fight by the temperance forces, which, they
declared, must stand shoulder to shoulder
to win. All the speakers In Omaha pro-
fessed to see complete victory, or state
wide prohibition, not far off. Senator Pat
rick reviewed some effective work that had
been accomplished since the crusade got
into the legislature, and he predicted more
effective work through political processes.
DR.. HcGiffin pleaded for sanity, and con-
servatism even in this sort OF reform, lest
1t become topheavy and fall.
Mr.. Stone thought one of the cares Of the
reform element just now was to guard
against the entrance Of false prophets. He
said that with apparent success would come
many men seeking to ride into public favor
on the crest of the tide.
Rev. Mr.. Norberg believed in the county
option bill and believed it would be vim
dicated II given a fair chance.
Omaha daily bee., 1910-02-22

Davis. drugs.
For sale-Modern house, T26 9Th Ave.
CORRIGANS, u~ndertakers. Phone 1913.
FAUST BEER AT ROGERS BUFFET.
Woodring Undertaking company. Tel S2e.
Lewis Cutler, funeral director. Phone 81.
Baird & Boland. undertakers. Phone 122.
Or. Sidney H.. Smith. 2i29 B'way. Phones
1889.
The Board of Supervisors will meet in ad-
journed session today.
Diamonds-Special prices this month at
Leffert's new store, sos Broadway.
Twenty per cent discount sale closes
Saturday, Feb. 26. Don't miss this last
week. Alexander's Art Store.
Pure mixed paints, the best on the mar
can't be beat. Prices reasonable. II. BOr-
wick, 2l1 S. Main ST.
Charles McNeal, aged II years. died yes
terday afternoon at his residence. 1414 West
broadway, from paralysis, after a weeks
illness. Besides his wife, he leaves three
daughters and one son. deceased was q
veteran OF the civil war. The funeral will
be held Tuesday afternoon at 2 O'Clock
from the family residence, and burial Will
be In Fairview cemtery.
The city council will meet in adjourned
regular session this evening. Some action
relative to the disposition of the Indian
creek bridge is looked for tonight. Mayor
Maloney yesterday received word from G..
w. Rankin Of Tarkio, Mo. who leased the
dredge a year or more ago, that he would
be ready to ship the machine back Wednes-
day OF this week.
There will be a lecture and prayer meet
ing Thursday evening at 1880 o'clock at st.
Johns English Lutheran church. The choir
will meet for rehearsal after the servic, 8
Thursday evening. The young people
business and social meeting will be held
Friday evening at the residence OF Miss
Caroline A~ldlnger. 1881 Third avenue. when
Rev. Luther NJ. Kuhns will give a talk on
the India mission field.
The men Of the First Congregational
church will meet today noon at the Grand
hotel for the regular weekly lunch n con-
ference. Midweek services will pc held
Wednesday evening at 1880 O'Clock at the
parsonage, with F. r. Eastman, Randolph
Johnson and Miss Harriet Walker as lead
ers. The teachers meeting on Wednesday
evening will be postponed on account of
the lecture at the Young Mems Christian
association. This afternoon the women OF
the church will hold n kensington at the
home of Mrs. ]. II. Strock, 91 Sixth ave-
nue., to which all women of the congrega-
ton are invited.