davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23
Lille Her1f.l)
Finds
h.0 W,1b,,~ D.Noct,,l
SS&yz&S99 SsS&Sk3
b,p WilburD.l

N n A called me to her day be-
fore yesterday and sed she
% wanted me to help her do
W. something.
She had . peece Of pen
Gil In her hand that was
about q inch long and
looked as II she had chewed 1t to
sharpen It, and she had lot Of notes
made on the back Of bill from the
aressmaker.
Henry, she said. ! am puzzled, to
deth to kno what to give your pa and
-FOUR Unkel Willyum for Chrismus.
DO wish you would kind Of pump them
and see what they would like to hav..
and then tell me. without giving It
away to them what you are trying to
6nd out.
All right. ma. told her, and tried
to get q peek at her list to see II she
had mo down for the maggiexine re-
volver I want.
But she folded up the paper and put
It away.
So that night when pa and Unkel
Bill was sitting in the librarey talkin
about the way senator Tillman had
better look out or he win be playing
In drama that has q press agent, or
else he will be crackin a black snake
whip around In Unkel Toms Cabben. Il
at pa what he thot was the right
kind of Chrismus present.
You otto be satisflde with what you
get. my young man. he sed. without
coming around and hintin.
amt hintin. told him. I Just won.
dered what your idee would be about
one for yourself.
Crate Scott! he sed. Has II come
10 this? It Is bad enu6 to hafto fork
over for the fool things yure ma buys
for me without havin to pay for some
thing you get for me.
don't want to get you anything, I
sed. I Just want to get yuro idee
about what you want.
Unkel Bill spoke up and sed most
men could tell what they wanted bet
ter BY tellin what they don't want
What would you like to hav. unkel
Binf I ast him.
Well. nov. b sd. thars d lots q
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23
GOOD Jokes
INSPIRATION.

There were sounds OF some one
tramping over tin.
Billy" called the wife OF the popu.
lar author. BILLY. there II . burglar
on the roof"
Burglar on tho roof" repeated her
husband. a. no jumped out Of bed
Quick. Lucy. my pen and paper"
What arc you going to write. Billyf
Don't you think you had better take
your revolver and shoot the burglarf~
Not until run on chapter enti-
tied: .Artless Archibald. the Aerial
Appropriation Ten chances to one that
burglar came in an a!rship. as there 10
no other way Of getting on the roof.
Business before pleasure. Lucy"
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23
National shortslohte dness.

I'm this country" said the sociolo-
gist. everything possible II done to
discourage people from marrying"
How so7" inquired one Of the lis
teners.
you have to buy the marriage II.
censc. fee the preacher. the boys give
you what they call 'shivaree.' your
friends throw old shoes at you. the
newspapers print caricatures OF you.
life Insurance agents hound you. you
bump right up against the cost oil
living. and II you find you've made q
mistake you have to go to no end OF
trouble to get q divorce"
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23

travel from place to place: but
carriages did not become at all
common until the end Of the sixteenth
century. The vehicles Of old times
were very cumbrous and slow OF mo-
ton. SO that the strong who wished to
move about quickly were forced to
ride on horseback. There are many
old records OF the great speed at when
Important news travelled with the sole
help Of the horse. 1t Is reported that
about the year 1850 there were three
coaches in Paris. One belonged to
Queen Catherine. the second to Diana
OF Pointers and the third to Rene de
Laval Oord Of Bois-Dauphin). rich
and unwieldy nobleman who could not
walk. Henri Nv. was certainly assas.
sinated In a carriage. but he usually
rode on horseback through the streets
OF Paris. The form Of carriages has
largely depended upon the state OF the
roads. and these were SO bad in this
country until the end OF the eigh-
teenth century that 1t was necessary
to build the carriages In a particularly
strong and heavy manner: and It was
not until Macadam had completed his
improvements Of the roads in the early
part Of the nineteenth Gentry that It
was possible to make the carriages
lighter and more elegant
The "Whirlicote." sort of litter on
wheels, was one Of the earliest cars
riages used In England. and 1t has
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23
Duly informed.

Child-Mamma. what Is 4 common
person7
Mother-Why. child. common per.
son it--is-weil. It's person that We
do not associate with. Why do you
ask7
child-'Causc Mrs. Nextdoor said
you was common person.
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23
Dodglng.

''That fellow In most remarkable
runner"
who? Burroughsf"
Eyes. He's always running into debt
and yet he's forever running away
from the people to whom he 10 70
debt."-Catholic Standard and Times,
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23
Last Year's One.

We'll. the oyster stew given at our
church festival has been vindicated."
"How 7"
"A man who alto some Of II In dead
e ptomaine poisoning. caused from
eating oysters. according to the doc.
tor"
well. good heavens. how does that
vindicate the stew7"
"It proves that there was an oyster
In II"
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23
No Venus

Little Pitchers-I say. Miss oldgirl,
you amt In tho firo department. are
you?
Miss Oldgirl--Certainly not. Tommy.
What makes YOU ask such question:
Little Pitchers-Because heard
brother WIN say you was . false
alarm.
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23
THE OUTLOOK.

He won q wager which was small,
The Joy Of triumph filled him thens
He could not understand at all
Why failure saddened other men.
A pretty woman gave him praise.
To him tho future seemed aglow:
He could not understand the ways
OF men who chung to borrowed woe.
10. what . change Is often wrought
Within q moment. o my friend:
He burned his finger and he thought
The world was coming to an end.
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23
The Present Need.

"Ah!" said an enthusiastic admirer,
you will live In the hearts Of your
countrymen."
Maybe 80" answered the father Of
. new idea. but the problem that
confronts mo now II how to pay the
rent Of q nat"
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23
Pas Ultlmatum.

"Our Thursday. Saturday and Mon.
lay mornings papers have checked up
shy for the last three weeks regularly"
do you suppose they are being
stolen. PAL"
Il know Kitty's beau calls Wedncs.
lay. Friday and Sunday nights. want
him to go homo earlier or to stop tn.
king our paper with him"
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23
colna the Pace.

II understand they arc up-to-dats
people7"
Decidedly so. They stand on the
butcher. tho baker and the candlesticb
maker. so they can live continuously
In an atmosphere OF dust and gaso
line"
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23
A sure Way.

How can we induce moro women
70 wear hobble skirts?" Queried tho
fashionable dressmaker.
by inducing the legislature to pass
. law prohibiting them" answered
the mere man.
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23
Quite Proper.

II know q man highly respected II
the community who married three
women In one week"
Good graciousi Who 10 her
"A minister"
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23
How u Happened.

He was certainly brave to crawl
under the bed and engage In a life
and death struggle with that burglar"
when he crawled under the bed
he thought the burglar was in the
basement
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23

Here. have a drink. old boy"
Not today. thanks: I'm not armed.
what has that to do with 1T"
you don't know what kind of AMI.
mails chased me the last time I took
Q drink out OF your flask"
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23
Its once.

This cork II very tight in your
brandy bottle. ! can't bulge it,
@Yes. that's the nature Of cork. II
vas put there to keep the bottles
spirits from going down"
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23
A slIeht Elevation.

He II very proud Of his ancestors;
IN fact. says one OF his ancestors was
looked up to by q great many PEG.
ple."
mo doubt ! guess that happened
ON the day he was hanged
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23
Something 70 Live For.

Remarked a cheerful epicurs.
sure would hate to die.
Before I'D fully nctcherixcd
This piece Of pumpkin pie."
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23
In the Daej<vsooda.

= So whore . Teller in Paris has
Wit Q play al about eaickensl
e0uees he's witt Il for one Of them
oasnsorm1n' towers you read about
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23


You waite TIL you get marrid. n
spoke up reel quick.
FINELY pa and Unkle Bill thay gok
me to tell them about ma astin me to
md out what they wanted. and then
they LATED and LATED, and Unkel Bin
sed It was . rsfreshin indication q
the change that was takin place whom
q woman even thought Of thinkin
about what you wanted. He sed they
usually went ahed and got what they
wanted you to want
You tell your ma, pa sed. that -
neer ~ you can lern what want 10
more hair on my he'd. my wisdum
tooth filled, and rockkin chares that
wont bump into with my legs when
get up In the mornin.
And II she asts you what want,
unkei Bill sed. you tell her that an
noncommittal to . degree. but that
you think I would prefer q tobacko
pouch that has sashay powder inside
the lining. q collar and cuff box with
pink satin inside of II, . cigar cutter
that / can hang on my watch chane
whenever want to feel psrtickerly
ashamed Of myself. . silver handled
pensil that she can borrow frum me
the day after Chrismus and never
Civ back to me. and . smokin ut
made out Of hammered brass that I
can sell to somebuddy for finger
bowls.
That's rite. pa sed.
But the best Chrismus present for .
man. unkel Bill sed. 10 to pick out
fifty dollar present for him. that he
would hafto pay for when the bin
comes In. and then not get Il
Copyright. isla. W. D. Nsshit,
cR6gR~
Mamma asks the little boy, how
can Santa Claus get into our nat
when We haven't any chimney-noth
Ing but Q steam radiatorf"
He win probably slip in by the
basement door. darling"
TITS all OF then" says the lad, With
. surprising vigor In the use Of slang
THAT janitor viii put him out Of busi
ness before he can unpack his sack. !.
eR6R~
HER ONE BIG Wish.
Sister Sue-Johnnie. do you know
what I would like most?
Brother Johnnie-No. What?
a.
circus last summer and I wish I had
her stocking to hang up on Christmas
night
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23

Mrs. Brown--only think. John! Mrs
Jones has left her drunken husband
and gone home to her moiherl
Mr.. brown (sighing) All! A woman
will do anything for man who drinks
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23

Ore 81 the First Steps.
why do you question his aasart1na
that he 10 . eelf.mado mani
.Because he Gays he Aas 1ovo
hired dress suit
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23

-Ah! the Black Handi' That means
somepin' orful's goin' to happen =
mel"
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23
There With the Goods.

The pretty saiesgiri. you'n agree.
Views not with much alarm
The charms Of girls In the social swim i
For she has her countsrcharm
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23
Evidently Not.

Il guess there are NO milk wagon.
ln Corea.
.Why not?"
Because It II called The Land Of
the Morning Calm"
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23
Blew Too Hard.

DO you remember the fat man who
used to live across the way and prac.
use on q trombone every morningf"
"Yes,"
Hes dead"
Serves him right"
"Oh. he wasn't murdered. He rup.
tured blood vessel"
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23
Vain Girl.

Vain Girl.
Mary had q pretty foot
And Mary seemed TO know It.
Cause everywhere that Mary went
She tried her best to show Il.
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23

lurn WHARF . woman keeps her peck
ct It was . matter Of profeshnul
pride With him. becos he sed thare
was no profit In pickin Q womans
pocket when al you got was . bunch
d samples and . button hook and
powder rag and betvene thirty and
forty SCENTS.
But don't see What pickin pockets
has to do with Chrismus presents. I
sod-
The searchlight. [volume] (Culbertson, Mont.) 1902-current, 1910-12-23

he infirm and weak In all ages
have required some form Of
conveyance to enable them to
travel from place to place: but
no~rl~ 80 Atl rAt - -
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1910-01-15
Latest Kansas Events.
Make a Test Of Rock Road Law.

1t seems clearly evident that it TO
mains for johnson county to make the
test of the new rock road law passed
by the last legislature For several
months the board of county commits
sioners have been wrangling with con-
tractors trying to thrash out and over
come the apparent legal obseructions
until it has come to the point where
no roads will be built until the law is
tested in the supreme court In order
that this may be done the commission
ers accepted the bid of Lightfoot Bros.
of Rosedale for the building of what is
known as the Remi Caenen road for
$685. The contractors will i'm
mediately bring suit against the COM
missioners to force them to enter into
contract and the commissioners will
refuse to do so on the grounds that
they are not satisfied with the legality
of the Hodges rock road law. The
case may come to trial next month,
but will have to go to the supreme
court.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1910-01-15
Wichita Butter Plant Sold.

of Blue Valley Creamery at st. Joseph,
purchased the entire capital stock of
the Wichita Creamy company for $780,
900. He will take charge of the local
plant Immediately, it is understood
the plant now has a capacity of 10000
pounds of butter a year. Mr.. Copley
announces he will increase the ca
Spacity of the plant to 1,0U.,vv0 pounds
yearly. The plant will be overhauled
improved and extended Immediately
at a cost of $4,000.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1910-01-15
Kno~Iedoe Enouoh.

At the moment of their fan Adam
and Eve. being innocent, were used to
doing things In an unconscious man
ner.
That is to say. they didn't Fletcher
ize-
With the result that they failed of
getting the full effect of the apple
all the proteids and carbohydrate
However, in thier blind, laundering
way, they attained to enough knowl
odge of good and evil to maze them
terrible bores to themselves forever
after. and to all their descendants 1ke-
wise unto the present generation
Puck
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1910-01-15
A Trade School for Kansas.

Haskell institute, valued at s75O,O00,
is to be offered to Kansas as a site for
the establishment of day trade
school. Superintendent H. B. PEARS
said that he had discussed the matter
of giving the institution to the state
with R. G. Valentine. United States
commissioner of Indian affairs, and
that the latter looked with favor on
the proposition. The government does
not intend to abandon Haskell entirely
until the state appropriations are
made large enough to make it trade
school for white students exclusively.
Until the state appropriations do be-
come large enough Indian students
who are taking advanced work will
continue to be received and will live
in the dormitories at the school as
they do at the present time.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1910-01-15

Increased Price of Elk Teeth.
During the last i've years the value
or elk teeth has more than trebled,
said a western traveller at the Fred
eric, according to the st. Paul Dis
patch In 1904 you could get any num-
Der OF fine specimens in Idaho, Mon
tana, Washington and bordering states
for $3.50 apiece. Now you will pay
from $3.50 to $40. and they are hard
to get for even that The Apache,
Sioux, Comanche and Chippewa Indi-
ans used to have dozens of them in
their possession and traded them for
trinkets- But the redskin got wise to
their value. and you can buy them
from regular dealer cheaper now
than from the Indian The passing
Of the elk and the great demand made
by the members of the Elk lodge for
teeth for emblems have boosted the
price"
The traveller recited an incident Of
an Oklahoman who bought robe COW
cred with elk teeth from a Wichita
Indian for 500. He cut off the teeth
and cleaned up $4,000 on the deal.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1910-01-15
Mayors Meeting March z.

Mayor Davidson of Wichita will call
meeting of the mayors of Kansas and
Oklahoma, to meet in that city March
z and 8 to discuss matters regard
ing municipal affairs. 1t was intended
go ask only the Kansas mayors,
NUT Oklahoma mayors, having heard
of the proposed meeting, have
asked to be included in the call. Paw
ing matters will be one of the princi-
pal topics discussed by the mayors,
although other matters will come up
for discussion.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1910-01-15
Organize Club to Protect Game.

Lawrence sportsmen have organized
a Sportsmen's Game Protective asso-
citation to aid in the enforcement of
the state game laws and to stock
Douglas county with fish and certain
kinds of game birds. The organization
has the backing of Gov. Stubbs An
effort will be made to establish
branches of the association all over
Kansas.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1910-01-15
interesting lnformssien.

In an interview publishes in tho
Keller Neueste Nachrichten. Grossad-
miral Won Roster says many interest
ing things about hts visit to New
York, among ther the follow ing: I'm
the absence on President Taft, who
was away ca a trip to the Mexican
frontier, The place of honor was
taken by the vice-president of the
United States, Secretary~of State
Sherman of New York"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1910-01-15
Much Fever, But Only One Death.

But one death from scarlet fever
has been reported this winter in Mar
shall county from the several cases of
that disease which have been reported
to the county health officers. In al
most all the cases of scarlet fever re-
ported the disease has been of a
rather light form, and with the close
observance OF the quarantine the
spread of the disease has been pre-
vented.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1910-01-15
A Drama on the street.

A remarkable coincidence occurred
at San Bernardino, Cal, one day late
", whereby couple about to be d.
vorced were happily brought together
again. Mrs. Walter Preston was on
her way to the court to secure di-
vorce against her husband when her
little daughter darted in the path of
an onrushing motor car The moth
er's screams attracted the attention
of a man who dashed in front of the
machine, seized the little girl and
leaped to safety as the automobile
shot by The rescuer proved to be the
husband and father. Explanations
were soon made, and the two made
their way to the attorneys Office,
where Mrs. Preston tore up the di-
vorce complaint
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1910-01-15
Graphic Variations

Civilization" remarked the canni-
bal king, promotes some strange
IDEAS"
ITO whom do you especially refer?'
inquired the missionary.
Among you the ultimate con-
sumner is regarded with sympathy.
Here he is considered very lucky"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1910-01-15

Il notice you always fling the driver
your purse when we take a convey
ance," said the heroine of the his
torical novel
Il do" admitted the hero of the
same.
How do you expect to support a
wife? Give him the exact legal fare
hereafter" - Louisville Courier-Jour-
nal
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1910-01-15
The Novice.

Old Lawyer Ito young partner)-
Did you draw up old Moneybag's will?
Young Partner-Yes, sir: and so
tight that all the relatives in the
world cannot break it.
Old Lawyer with some disgust)-
The next time there is will to be
drawn up. I'll do it myself,"-New
York Sun
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1910-01-15
May start Atehison Coal Mine Asai,

Hope for the Atchison coal mine
which has cost citizens of the town
some hundreds of thousands of dollars,
is rising again. The Atchison Brick,
Tile and Coal Mining company, which
has taken over the property of the
Atchison Coal and Mining company,
has elected the following officers: S.
R. Beebe, president; w B. Collett,
vice-president; w. P. Waggener, sec
rotary and treasurer
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1910-01-15
Ottawa Freshmen to Build a Gym.

The freshman class of Ottawa uni
versity has inaugurated a cam. align
for the erection inside of five years of
a new $4,000 gymnasium building.
The class subscribed $2,027 from it's
own class members, Al in number.
The remainder of the student body
pledged $4,000 more. President Price
and Secretary Huckle will start cam
paign Immediately for the erection of
a new $1,000 science building. The
enthusiasm of the freshman class re-
suited from the winning of the local
Oratorical contest by John Shields of
Holton, who is a freshman.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1910-01-15
Sorry He Spoke.

Mr.. Dubbs with newspaper)-It
tells here. my dear. how a progress
sive New York woman makes her
social calls by telephone.
Mrs. Dubbs-Progressive Huht
She's probably like me. not decent
thing to wear-Boston Transcript.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1910-01-15
On Tina.

That man spends his life in an en-
deavor to get people to do things on
time"
What does he do for a living?"
SELLS book on the installment
plan
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1910-01-15
All Kinds,

1T takes all kinds of people to
make a world" said the ready-made
philosopher.
Certainly" answered the plain per-
son; look at explorers. Some of them
excel with mathematical instruments
and some with typewriters and picture
machines"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1910-01-15
rakino No Chances.

Griggs-Odd that these doctors can't
prescribe for themselves There's
Cuttem just gone to another physician
to be treated.
Briggs-That's where he is wise
Cuttem knows how few of his pa
tents recover.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1910-01-15
Mother Sees Three Burn.

Mrs Henry Blanton of Pratt left her
home and went across the alley to talk
with a neighbor. When she next
looked at the house it was a mass of
flames and her three children were
being burned to death Help did not
come in time to save them
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1910-01-15
SMALLPOX Closes a scbooI.

DIR. W. F. Wood of Bethel ordered
the old Muncie school closed on ac-
count of the smallpox epidemic in the
central part of Wyandotte county.
There are 35 pupils attending the
school and there is a case of smallpox
in the home of a family where the
teacher boards. There are so cases of
the disease in mild form at Bethel,
White Church, Stony Point, Edwards
vile and Muncie. small towns OF
Wyandotte county.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1910-01-15

Would Surprise Him All Right.
First Girl want to give my fiance
a surprise for a birthday present
Can't you suggest something?
Second Girl-You might tell him
YOur age.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1910-01-15
Mistakes VIII Happen.

Lady (to her sister. doctor)-
THERE cooked a meal for the first
time to-day and I made a mess of it.
well, dear, never mind; it's moth
ing. 1 lost my first patient.