New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-03-29
TWO TYRANTs.

The tyrant Gessler placed his hat
ON high for men 10 bow to,
But William Tel straight baked at that.
And kicked up quite a row. too
Now tyrant woman on her head
Her Easter hat displays:
But man no longer raises Ned
lie willing homage pays. II. II :.
"Ds man OATS allus out with hammer"
said Uncle Eben. runs "A big risk of get
tin excited an hittin his own thumb.'-
Washington Star.
\ young girl, incorriSibly given TO slang.
went with her mother to the funeral OF an
aunt. The dead woman had been strikin,,ly
handsome in life, and her features retained
all their attractivencss. How do YOU
think Aunt Blanche looked asked the
mother. when they had viewed the corpse.
Enthusiastically the child replied. Dead
swell. didn't she. mother"
IN a small country town there once lived
a couple OF young fellows who had gone
INTO partnership In a barber's business
and In order 10 pass the time one particul
larry dull afternoon Tom proposed to Dick
that they Indulge In quiet game of nap"
The quiet game went ON hour after hOur
and when the shades OF night had fallen
for some time neither OF them noticed that
a customer had entered. He SURVEYED them
III silent contempt for some few minutes
Sorry II ] interrupt" he said acidIy.
a. last but I'm in hurry. Which OF YOU
fervid sportsmen Is going 10 shave Ine?''
Tom looked over the hand which had INST
been dealt him Then, ia a voice fuli oa
suppressed excitement. he said:
Just one moment. sir. Wait until we SEE.
VINO owns this shopi"-Tit-Bits.
If nature had not endowed Caruso with
fine voice lie would nevertheless have
become a stage celebrity says Nos I.ect-
ures,' because OF his powers as A ven
frllOHfIfGr NJ. toll 9 J.
he was asked whether he really was a ven
triloquist: 4 was a guest at Il country
house on the Hudson one day, and had
sung for my hostess. We were all on the
lawn, and a woman came TO me and asked
mo 10 give an exhibition OF ventrioquism
walked away. and presently. stopping UNI
der tree. shouted loudly: We'll little hoy
what are you doing up there Then a
shrill voice answered: Nothing: lust
climbed up 10 hear you sing" VERY Well
j shouted; he carerul-dou't faIIr' "AIl
right. sir" came the shrill reply. Several
women had come To the spot, ana when
tine conversation was over one of them
said: 81 never heard such ventriIoquism!''
and l said. seriously. Neither did -
An old trapper SAYS that trailing q skunk
~ exciting sport. Most people are willing
10 take his word for it.-Buffalo Express.
At a theatrical performance in a small
town near LODI. IN Russia. the house WIS
well nIled. and the entertainment was pro-
ceedlng 10 the evident satisfaction of tho
peasant audience SAYS Die Zelt." OF
Vienna WHEN a man arose in his pIace
and said IN a loud tone of voice. Pleas.
stop the play "A few minutes. | must look
To my horses lie walked rapidly To the
door. ami the director recognizing him az
the most important citizen OF the place.
had the curtain lowered. After I've min
utes' absence the man returned. resumed
his place. and the play went on. When
tlit performance wds over the dtstuCber
mounted tho stage. thanked the director
ana handed him % rubles. The director