Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-12-30

turn of mind, and that was probably why
his fond parents apprenticed him to a
naturlist. In his new sphere he was
willing enough, but painfully slow. At
ter giving the canary seed, a job that oc-
cupied two hours, he said
~ hat viii do nowP"
WELL" replied his master refectively
81 think you may take the tortoise out
for run"
| William Muldnon, the noted trainer
was talking, aprOpOs Of the Jefferies-
johns n fight, of training.
I'm training" he said, "the Striclest
obedience is required. Whenever think
+ the the iyOf training think of Dash,
wi'-,, after Ell h>eeD years If married life,
is one of the best and happiest husbands
in the world.
Dash, once said to him, Dash. old
man, how 90 you take married life?'
"' According to direct ion,' he replied" p"
| young Quaker had been for some
tue casting diffi,ient glances at a mait
en- of the same persuasion, while she,
true to the tenets of her up-bringing,
ha'i given him mighty little encourage
meut. HOwever, one day the Opp0r-
tunity of placing the matter upon a more
stable footing presented Itself to Seth.
and he shyly inquired: Martha, dost love
me?"
why, Seth, we are commanded to love
one another" quoth the maiden.
",h, Martha, but dOst thou feel what
the world Calls Iove?"
81 hardly know what to tell thee, Seth,
[ have tried to testow my love upon all,
but have sometimes thought Lhat thou
vast getting more than thy SHARE"
An old-time travelling man was talk
ing of experiences of former days on the
road.
Frequently" remarked this traveller,
81 journeyed to Cincinnati. The fare
from this city to that place was then
about S3.25. l saved something by hand
ing the conductor So in cash. one day
there was an excursion and bought a
round-trip ticket for s1.25 or $1.50. I've
forgotten the exact amount, but that cir
cumstance need not cripple this story.
when handed this ticket to the con-
ductor, as he tore off the return coupon,
he looked at me and in a voice betraying
how deeply he was hurt, he remarked:
my young friend, don't you know
that can afford to haul you much cheap
er than this company camp
| Attorney General Wickersham brought
| the following talA back from the North
west and told it at the White House:
| A man there who was in mortal
fear Of his wife. especially when he in
dulged in spirits to excess and forgot to
go home until the early hours of the
| morning. One night he drank until he
became hilarious, and it was in the small
hours of the morning that he reached his
home. He gained an entrance without
arousing his sleeping spouse.
ShOeless he climbed the stairway, open
| ed the door of the bedroom, entered and
closed it after him without being detect
ed. just ae he was about to get into the
bed his wife, half aroused from her slum
Der, turned and sleeplly said, 'Is that YOU,
Fido?''
| The husband, telling the rest Of the
story, "For once in my life [ had real
presence of mind | licked her hand"
A certain DR.. C|was once reading
very strenuous paper on total abstinence
before clerical club-so the story goes
when the entertainer went out to tell
his wife how many she wa to provide
for at supper.
What are they doing?' she asked, and
was told the subject of the essay. What
shsI I do?" she cried. Here | have
branded peaches, and it is too late to
change
"MaRe no change" said her husband.
'It will be all right"
The essayist had the post of honor at
the right of the lady of the house, and
she presented him with dish of the
peaches. After a while she said to him.
"Dr. O.. won't you allow me to give
YOU some more of these peaches?"
Thank you," he replied. "They are
excellent"
A little later she said: "Dr. c.,
NAV not give you another peach?'
No, | thank you" said he apologeti-
cally, "but I will take little more of
the gravy"
o
"rhat reminds me of story"-and