The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1910-04-21
A Soldier S
Troubles
How a Private Was Befuddled by
1.-THE Call of "Orderly"
While on Guard Duty.


Private GOldbrick strutted proudly
up and down in front Of the orderly
room of the Blapkshire Regiment, with
chest inflated to its fullest extent, head
erect and tt es pointed to painful
angle. Goidbrick had reason to be proud
for had he not been picked out from a
number of others, some of them veter-
ans, during guard mounting the
cleanest man on parade, and appointed
the Colonel's orderly as consequence
Sure!
Goldbrick was young soldier and
painfully conscious of all the selection
implied. Already his Imagination was
busy with thoughts of promotion, pic
turing himself Qnatermaster or Ser
geant- MAJOR at the very least, calmly
ignoring the various stages by which
such position must be reached.
Suddenly hi s perambulations were
checked by the call, "Orderlyp' "Yes,
sir!" responded Goldbrick, becoming
rigid, with hand rails ed in military salute.
For second he stood thus, then his
hand dropped Imply an d he gazed
around, ,bewildered. There was nobody
in sight. "Blowed it didn't think sunni
called, ORDERLY he mused. Must a.
bin a-dreaming, he philosophical and
resumed his pedestrianism. But at the
first couple of steps the call repeated,
this time distinct, "Orderlyr' There
was no mistaking it. The tone was
imperative, Goldbrick wheeled like
lightning, Eyes, sir" he repeated, then
stood amazed FL e was still alone
swell, I'll be busted!' he declared.
Suddenly noticing window that was
raised his face cleared. He had solve d
the problem. The window belonged to
the Adjutant's Office, and the Adjutant
had called Exactly" Acting on these
deductions he entered the passage and
raped respectfully upon the door that
bore the sign Adjutant.
"Come in," growled voice within.
i Goldbrick turned the handle carefully,
took a pace across the thre,hhOld, stop.
ped, and saluted.
"Come ill.," roared the occupant of the
!, room who bent over desk busily en-
gagged in Ge.iphering what appe ared to
; be number of hierOgly phics, and failed
to remark his entry.
"Yes, sir! Pm III, sir" responded Gold
brick, saluting respectfully.
] The figure Wheeled around in its chail
! and revealed the chOleric face of ths
t Adjutant, his hair disheveled, his facs
1 moist and streaked with black, where
: in brushing aside the respiration hi
r inky fingers had left trail behind them
! "Well ?" he demanded, "wellp"
n ayes, sir, thank you, sir" answered
e Goldbrick, his hand raised to the ever
l. ready salute.
"What the devil dye want p bellowe'
It the Adjutant, his florid complexion as
It sumins the hue of redhot poker.
3 "Me, sir? Whyer no, sir, hits you
5: sir! Begg'n pard'n, sir" "spluttered Gold
e brick.
sr The Adjutant jumped to his feet an
t. puffed like man just risen to the sui
,e face after deep dive in cold water.
L "Oof!-and who are yon pray?"
If inquired with cemmendable selfrt
ar straint.
10 "Me, sir YWhy. I'm the Cunne.' Orde
ID ly, SIR" answered Goldbrick impressive
I'd ly.
i'd "Oh, are you !? Aud what do you want
III Who told you to come in here!' wei
a the next inquiries.
"Why, you did, sir. You said, 'con
ar in,' sir" Goldbrick reminded him.
or "Who the dickens told you to CON
y, rapping at this door? p roared the A
I'd jutant.
rs "Why you called me, SIR answere
no Goldbrick aggrievedly.
lr- "What! called you? ? Get out O her
or I'll have youput in the guardrool