davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
LEG A MASS OF HUM0R

About Eve years ago a small
abrasion appeared on my right leg
Just above my ankle. It irritated me
so that l began to scratch it, and it
began to spread until my leg from my
ankle to the knee vas one solid scale
like a scab. The irritation was always
worse at night and would not allow
me to sleep, or my wife either, and 1t
was completely undermining u
health. 1 lost fifty pounds in weight
and was almost out Of my mind with
pain and chagrin as no matter where
The irritation came, at work, on the
street or in the presence of company,
/ would have to scratch it until l had
the blood running down into my shoe.
l simply cannot describe my suffer
ing during those seven years. The
pain, modification, loss Of sleep, both
to myself and wife is simply indie
scribable on paper and M has to ex-
perience it to know what it is.
81 tried all kinds of doctors and rem
edies but l might as well have thrown
my money down a sewer. They would
dry up for a little while and fill me
with hope only to break out again just
as bad If not worse. l had given up
hope of ever being cured when l was
induced by my wife to give the Cuti-
cura Remedies a trial. After taking
the Cuticura Remedies for a little
while l began to see a change, and
after taking a dozen bottles of Cuti-
cura Resolvent in conjunction with
the Cuticura Soap and Cuticura ONT
mert, the trouble had entirely disap-
peared and my leg was al fine as the
day l was born. Now after a lapse OF
six months with no signs Of a recur-
romeo I feel perfectly safe in extend
Ing 20 you my heartfelt thanks for the
good the Cuticura Remedies have done
foa me. l shall always recommend
them to my friends. w. H. White,
31e E. Cabot ST., Philadelphia, Pa, Feb.
4 and Apr. 10, 1909"
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
Try This. This Summer

The very next time you're hot, tired
or thirsty, step up to a soda fountain
and get a glass of Coca-Cola. It will
cool you of, relieve your bodily and
mental fatigue and quench your thirst
delightfully."-. At soda fountains or
carbonated in bottles-5c everywhere.
Delicious, refreshing and wholesome.
Send to the Coca-Cola Co., Atlanta,
Ca, for their free booklet The Truth
About Coca-Cola." Tells what Coca
Cola is and why it is SO delicious, re-
freshing and thirst-quenching. And
send &c stamp for the Coca-Cola Base
ball Record Book for 1910-contains
the famous poem Casey At The Bat"
records, schedules for both leagues
and other valuable baseball informa-
ton compiled by authorities.
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
SIMPLE STATEMENT OF FACT
Mr.. johnson Unable to See Where In
Any Way He Had "Put His
Foot In It."

1t Is common to deplore the lack OF
humor. In a person. Yet the very
want of it may save a certain amount
of embarrassment, as was the case
on a certain occasion with President
johnson. HE was one day." says a
writer in Harper's Magazine, visit
ing my mother, and a friend, Mrs.
Knox, a widow, came in. She had
known Mr.. Johnson some years be-
fore, when he was a member Of the
legislature but they had not met since
then.
After mutual recognition, Mr..
johnson said: How is Mr.. Knox? I
have not seen him lately
"rHe has been dead six years. said
Mrs. Knox.
az thought l hadn't seen him on
the street. said Mr.. Johnson.
when Mrs. Knox left, my mother
said, laughing: That was a funny mis-
take Of yours about Mr.. Knox
What mistake did l make" said
Johnson. I said 1 hadn't seen him on
the street, and l hadn't"
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
Quaint Table Manners.

Jerome 8. McWade, the Duluth mil
lionaire, talked at a dinner about the
delights of a backwoods vacation.
Il go to a quaint backwoods village
every summer" he said, land number
less are the quaint people l meet
there.
"Old Boucher, for instance, the jan
itor Of the village church, is most
amusing with his quaint ways. l had
old Boucher to lunch one day, and
the cold lobster was served with a
mayonnaise sauce. When my servant
offered this sauce to Boucher, the old
man stuck his knife In it, took up a
little on the blade, tasted 1t, then
shook his head and said:
Don't choose none.'"
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
A Bernhardt Trick.

Nine. Sarah Bernhard, who is sup
posed to be something Of an artist as
we'll as an actress, was recently called
upon in one Of her marvellous crea-
tions to enact the role Of a sculptor,
and to model a certain bust in view of
the audience. This fairly electrified
the critics, but when going into rhap-
sodies over the technical skill in ham
ding the clay which Nine. Bernhard
exhibited they showed that they knew
little Of the artistic tricks of actors
and actresses; as a matter of fact, she
does nothing of the kind. The bust
is modelled and baked, and over 1t is
placed damp clay of the same color.
This the talented actress merely pulls
off, exposing the beautifully modelled
head underneath.
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
ARGUMENT ON RACE SUICIDE
Doctor Declares Statistics Prove First
Born Children Not Equals Of
Later Ones.

London.-One Of the new features at
the seventy-eighth annual meeting Of
the British Medical association, held at
London, is q section on medical sociol-
ogy, dealing particularly with the So
cial aspects Of the failing birth-rate.
That the elder-born children Of q
family are more liable to suffer from
disease than the younger ones is a point
DR.. J. w. Hunter has placed before the
section. OF children of the working
classes Doctor Hunter has found this
holds good up to and including the
seventh born child. With the eighth
born, however. a sharp increase in the
liability to physical defects has been
noted, which steadily increases with
still later members Of the family. As
q result OF his studies Doctor Hunter
believes that the limitation Of the fam
lily to two or three children means the
humiliation Of the 6
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
TRAP 200 CATS IN A MARKET
Vicious Animals Fight captors, But
Are Put Into Baskets for An
initiation.

New York. Yowling, splitting,
scratching and biting, 200 cats were
cornered, one by one. the other night
in the old Washington market and
dumped into baskets, to be disposed
Of by the Society for the Prevention Of
Cruelty to Animals.
Agents Of the society, policemen,
watchmen, butchers, fshmongers,
green grocers and all the little world
of the market joined in a midnight
hunt that, for activity and noise, out
did anything yer chronicled from
Africa.
For years the cats, at first encour
aged to keep down the rats, had run
wild and increased in garrets and sub.
cellars until they became an intolera-
BILE pest. The market is nov in proc
ess Of renovation.
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
MANY VARIETIES OF PEAS.

grown for culinary purposes only by
expert gardeners in private gardens.
They are much finer in taste than the
ordinary pea. but they have no COM
mercial value, because the average pur-
chaser will neither pay extra, nor. In
deed, ask for a particular kind.
"At the moment, as a h~orticulturist,
I should recommend the Battleship
pea IS the best, but the grower for the
market is producing quite q different
variety. He is growing a dwarf pea
of Q feet 6 inches or 8 feet at the most
in height"
The manager Of a popular restaur-
ant, who was also consulted on the
subject, said that the best quality Of
peas could be supplied to the average
diner 'if he would order or demand
them. The ordinary diner out" he
said, docs not realize that vegetables,
like wines or cigars. vary in quality.
He orders peas without any speciica-
tion."
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
ENGLISH Firm Shows Many Kinds OF
VegetabIes-SmalI Proportion OF
Commercial Value.

London.-The average man. b n
joys a dish of green peas and knows
the delicacy merely as peas" will be
astonished to hear that at the Royal
Horticultural society's show at Holland
park one well known firm alone
showed so varieties of the vegetable.
Though the ordinary consumer does
not know it, each variety possesses q
different quality and taste. which the
expert can detect.
A representative of m Of the big
gest firms of seed merchants In Lon
don said that the different varieties of
meas were grown almost exclusively
for show purposes.
For commercial purposes" he said,
@only the dwarf varieties are grown.
The expense OF sticking the taller
peas would run away with the grow
eY's profit.
"The finer varieties Of peas are
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
Doll House Library.

A search for a >child's short story,
"The Griffin and the Minor Canon"
in a volume all by itself revealed to a
persistent city shopper the thought
and money that are expended On the
furnishing of dolls houses. Book
stores had not the story in a single
volume, but in a department store
one young woman interviewed had re-
Gently been transferred from the toy
department and was able to contribute
a helpful hint.
Il think" she said, you can find 1t
in of the dolls houses downstairs"
Curiosity had by that time become
a sauce to literature, SO the shopper
hurried downstairs to inspect the doll
houses. Three of the most expensive
houses contained libraries consisting
OF a score of diminutive books and
each book contained a child's story
complete. One of them was 1.-THE
Griffin and the Minor Canon"
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
TUBERCULOSIS IN THE PRISON
and There Seems but One
Remedy.

From several Investigations that
have been made by the National AS
ISOLATION for the Study and Proven
ton of tuberculosis 1t Is estimated
that on an average about Is per
cent. of the prison population Of the
country is afflicted with tuberculosis.
On this basis, out Of the $4,000 prison
ers housed in the penal institutions
of the United States at any given
time, no less than $4,000 are infected
with the disease. If the Philippine
islands and other insular possessions
we're taken into consideration the
number would be much larger. Some
of the prisons of Pennsylvania, Kan
sas and Ohio show such shocking con
ditions with reference to tuberculosis
that many wardens admit that these
places of detention are death traps.
Similar conditions could be found In
almost every state, and in the major
fly of cases the only sure remedy is
the destruction of the old buildings
and the erection Of new ones.
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
Some People Try to See How
Much Can Be Spent.
Amusing Story Of Clergyman In Lon
don Who Was Out for All the Cash
He Could Get-Some Of Access
series He Would Furnish.

London.-Some of the fashionable
weddings that have taken place lately
would seem to indicate that the people
concerned were anxious to see how
much money could be spent or the af-
fair. In England the ceremony is much
more complicated. The most usual
form of marriage is by "banns." Notice
is given to the clergyman of the
church where the young couple desire
to get married, the announcement is
given out three Sundays running be-
fore the wedding day, and for this the
bridegroom pays the clerk so cents. If
neither of the parties live in this par
ish, n or other of them must do so
for three weeks before the ceremony
takes place, but this condition is often
filled by the bridegroom taking a room
and putting a stick or bag in it for the
required time.
OF course, you have to pay the cler-
gyman something for performing the
ceremony for you, and the legal fee is
$1.25, with so cents to the clerk, and a
further so cents for a copy of the GER
tificate of marriage, but each clergy
man asks what he chooses, and some
of them place their services rather
high.
Recently a young couple who live In
the suburbs decided to get married at
one of the churches in the Strand, in
London, as this was a convenient cen
ter for all their friends, and also near
Charing Cross station, from which they
were starting for Paris Immediately
after the ceremony. 1t vas to be a
quiet affair, no bridesmaids, no bou-
Quets, no carriages, no red carpet, etc.
So n fine morning the brides's father
started off to find the incumbent of
n of these London churches, an in
dividual with a double7barreled name
and, incidentally, a double-harreled To-
quacity as well. After a great effort
the father got him to talk about he
wedding, and finally inquired the fee.
1.-The fee would be $25," said his
reverence. And, of course, you would
like some music? We supply that and
it would be S." The father was about
to say something, when the padre
broke in again:
And you would like some red carpet
put down, l suppose? We supply that
for S."
"Oh," began the man out OF whose
pocket the money was to come for all
this, when"
"And if it's a wet day, you would re-
uuire an awning" continued the clergy
man. I'VE supply the awning and the
fee would be S."
Eyes," gasped the father, casting
about in his mind for a way of escape,
when the other went on:
And, of course, you would have
some flowers. My daughter always
does the flowers, and I'm sure she
would be delighted to do them for
you." Before the astonished father
could reply, the clergyman rang the
bell and requested the servant who
answered it to ask Miss Louie" to
step in" Miss Louie" duly arrived,
and expressed herself enchanted at the
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
Keeping 1t Dry.

An old woman of a wealthy New
Jersey family was going visiting. The
coachman, who had not been in this
country long, had just been equipped
with a new uniform and a new silk
hat. Before they had gone far 1t be-
gan to sprinkle, and the old woman
told the coachman to fasten down the
side curtains of the wagonette.
He drove up to a hitching post be-
side the road and, dismounting, hung
his new hat on the post, and began to
fasten the curtains.
The old woman noticed his bare head
and asked him where his hat was.
"Oi took it off me head, mum, SO as
it wouldn't get wet" the coachman re-
piled.
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
New Form of Bacillus Particularly Ac
tive In Hot Weather Found In
Kansas City.

Kansas City, Mo.-A new germ, as
yet unnamed, has just been discovered
in Kansas City. 1t Is a hot weather
bacillus and affects young and old
alike, being particularly noxious In
adults, it is said, and producing a
chronic case of what ordinarily Is
called the Crouch"
The discoveries of this germ are
DR.. E. L. Mathis, chief probation Off
Ger, and his assistants, who constant
ly are making a study of human ma
ture and, by the way, this particular
bug is one which attacks human ma
ture only.
ut is a hot weather bug" said Doc
tor Matthias, and can produce the
worst case of crouch in a short time
that you ever saw.
"Just now we juvenile officers have
little to do SO far as the juvenile
court is concerned, but we are kept
busy as bees looking after what we
call hot weather business.
Somehow or other, this hot wealth
er seems to 'peeve' everybody. 1t
takes the form of crouch in adults and
the form Of what the grown-ups are
pleased to call 'devilment' In children.
"a man lies down to take a nap of
a hot afternoon. He is Just tuckered
out by the heat, he says, and a nap
will straighten him out. Just as he
gets comfortably settled. boys or girls
in the neighborhood begin to romp,
and, of course, they call back and
forth, and the would-be napper is an
noyed.
Then the irate adult goes outdoors.
He is hard hit by the weather bug.
He loses his temper and gives the
children a calling down. The bug. in
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
COSTOFM

prospect of doing the flowers for the
wedding.
And what do you think 1t would
cost, dear?" asked her father. do you
suppose you could do it for 1852"
AS this last straw was laid on the
poor victims back, he reused himself
and managed to stammer that he must
consult his daughter. before making the
final arrangements, and made for the
door, trusting to escape. But the cler-
gyman had reserved a parting shot.
Taking up a small paper-covered book
from the table, he said:
This is a small book on the history
of the church. l am sur your daugh-
ter will like to read all about it, as she
is thinking of being married there"
Thank you; I'll give 1t to her." said
the innocent man.
"ThatIl be 25 cents" said his rev.
erence, and the unfortunate father
placed the money on the table and fled
for his life. Needless to say the mar
riage did not take place at his church.
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19

chickens until they are Matched" could
be well amended to read Never count
your chickens" Clemmens is a chick
en- fancier and had a flock of half
grown games of which he vas espe-
cially proud.
The other day his two sons returned
from a fishing trip and threw a num-
Der of large eel hooks, baited with
pieces of veal, on the bank at the boat
landing.
An hour later there was a great COM
motion among the flock of games and
an investigation showed that each had
swallowed a chunk of veal and an eel
hook with 1t. Clemens killed six Of
the chickens in removing the hooks.
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
CROUCH GERM is DISCOVERED

turn. attacks the juveniles. and they
answer back and make life miserable
for the complaining one.
About that time we get a call con-
corning a big disturbance. Some Of
the men go out, learn 1t is the same
old story, and 1t is up to them to x
plain to the adult that children must
play and that they can't be expected
to conduct their game after the fash
ion of a Friends meeting. They also
lecture the children and take steps to
restore the equilibrium of the neigh
borhood which is ravaged by the sum-
mer bug"
The juvenile officers have not gone
into the investigation of the bug in
scientific fashion, and as yet have
worked out NJ cure.
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
Quotation Marks.

Senator Beveridge, in an after
dinner speech in Cleveland, said of a
corrupt politician:
"The mans excuse is as absurd as
the excuse that a certain minister Of
fered on being convicted of plagiar-
ism.
Brethren said this minister, 1T
is true that l occasionally borrow for
my sermons, but l always acknowl-
edge the fact in the pulpit by raising
two fingers at the beginning and two
at the end of the borrowed matter,
thus indicating that it is quoted"
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
Another Tradition Exploded.

Two Englishmen were resting at the
RED Horse Inn" at Stratford- on-Avon.
One of them discovered a. print pic
turing a low tumbling building under
meath which was printed: "The House
in Which Shakespeare Was Born"
Turning to his friend in mild surprise
he pointed to the print. His friend ex-
hibited equal surprise, and called a
waiter. who assured them of the &C
curacy of the inscription.
"'Pon my word" said the observ-
ing Englishman, shaking his head du-
biously, :" thought he was born in a
manger!"-Success Magazine.
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
Girls Kiss Holds Liner.

New York.-Miss Agnes Quirk's de-
sire to kiss a friend goodby for luck
forced Capt. War; of the liner Cam
pania to hold the ship at the dock
over scheduled sailing time. Miss
Quirk was one of five Brooklyn teach
ers who won a trip abroad in a popu-
larity contest. She forgot the final
kiss till the shore crew tried to hustle
her aboard. But their efforts were of
no avail. Not until Miss Quirk had
implanted a protracted and resound-
ing smack on the cheek Of a man
friend.
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
A Eittlnu Desiun,

II want an estimate on 10000 letter
heads" said the professional-looking
man with the silk hat.
ANY special design" asked the en-
graver.
Eyes, sir" replied the caller. I'm
the upper left-hand corner l want q
catchy cut of Patrick Henry making
his memorable speech, and in dis
tinct letters, under the cut, his soul
inspiring words, Give me liberty or
give me death You see," he added,
handing a card to the engraver, I'm
a divorce lawyer, and want some
thing fitting."-Lippincott's.
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
Opinions Aired.

"Were the commencement exercises
Interestingly"
Every. The time was divided be-
tween advice from public men on the
selection of a career and suggestions
from graduates on how to run the
government"
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
And They Wondered

Judge Nicholas Longworth, who used
to sit on Ohio's supreme bench, looked
unnaturally grave, and a neighbor, in
recognition Of his facial depression,
named a pet owl Judge Longworth."
It was the very next day that an ex-
cited maid broke up his wife's garden
party. "Oh, madam" said she. Ma
dam! Judge Longworth has laid an
egg"
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19

tors who treated me diagnosed my
case as paralysis and said they could
do nothing more for me. AS a last
resort, I began using Doan's Kidney
Pills and was permanently cured. I
am stronger than before in years."
Remember tbs name-Doan's.
For sale by all dealers. so cents a
box. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo.
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
Roofing.

Galvanized Iron Corrugated and Crimp
of best quality for barns, sheds, chicken
houses and residences,-Fire and water
proof, needs no paint, takes care Of itself,
will last for years. Get the best, all
Send this ad with order. Thomas
Iron Co., 1.-The Roofing Folks" "a, 96 N.
2d ST., Memphis, Tenn.
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
FISHHOOKS BAD FOR FOWLS
Pennsylvania Chicken Fancier Be-
Iieves Old Saying Is in Need
of Revision.

Lewiston, Pa.-John B.. Clemmens, a
Pennsylvania railroad signalman at
Newton Hamilton, is of the opinion
that the old saying, Never count your
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
BIest BE NOTHING.

Wife-The doctor writes that in
view of our poor circumstances he
will not present his bill Immediately.
Artist-We are lucky that our cir
cumstances are no better; If they
were, we might have to pay at once!
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
Game.

The Creditor-Will you pay this bill
now, or never?
The Debtor-Mighty nice of you to
give me my choice, old scout. I
choose never.
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19

The secret of life is not to do what
one likes, but to try to like that which
one has to do; and n does like it
in timed. M. Craik.
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
Mouse in Hat In Church.

Berlin.-Commotion was caused in
a church at Dornbirn, Bavaria, by a
lady who felt something moving in
her hat, and found a mouse hidden be
meath her artificial flowers.
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19

Good intentions are always hot
stuff; that Is why they are used FOL
paving material in a certain locality
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19

He is a good time-saver that finds
out the fittest opportunity for every
ection.-Thomas Fuller.
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19

Mr.. Winslowss Soothing Syrup.
For chilAren teething, softens the gums, reducesin-
dsmmation ,allays palm. cures wind collie. 25ca bottle.
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19

DR.. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets frst put mp 70 years
ago. They regulate and inyfgOrate stomach, liver
Ind bowels. Gugar-coated tiny Rranules-
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
More Likely

More Likely.
It is said that the Nicaraguans
would rather fight than eat.
But don't jump at the conclusion
that this is an indication of great
courage.
It may mean poor cooking.
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19

/ suffered terribly
with backaches, head
aches, nervous and
dizzy spells. The
kidney secretions
were unnatural and
gave me great trou-
BILE. One day l sud-
denly fell to the
floor, where l lay for
a long time uncon-
Scf0us. Three doc
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19

TO DRIVE pyT AL \ rHr
rare the Old STANDARD GROvRS TASTELNSS
CHILL Tonic Yoq know what you are t Soa,1s
showing it is simply Quinine end Iron in . taste
less form. Tho Quinine drives cut tne malaIiS
md the Iron builds up the system. Sold ~ AZ
dealers for 50 years Price 20 cents
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19

Good thoughts and good deeds are
twin virtues.-Henry Lee.
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
Murder!

One gets Il by highway men-Tens
Of thousands BY Bad Boweb-No diff
ference. Constipation and dead liver
make the whole system sick Every.
body knows it-CASCARETS regulate-
cure Bowel and Liver troubles by simply
doing natures work until you get we'll
Millions use CASCARETS Life Saveri
sss
CAscARETS Ioc a box for q week's
treatment, all druggists. Biggest seller
In the world. Million boxes a month.
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19

Better a nagless wife than a horse
less carriage.
The Tupelo journal., 1910-08-19
lmnor,an, 70 Motnera

important to Motners
Examine carefully every bottle ct
CASTORIA, a safe and Jul remedy for
infants and children, and e thai 1t
Signature sss,r go Of AMZzzM
In Use For Over so Years.
The KindeYou Have Always Bought.