The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-07-03
Describes the fortunes of Be
ing BrOiled During Four
tenth Street Ride.
HORRORS ARE WORSE
THAN THE SAHARA
Suffering of Hapless Passengers
Likened to Those of Trav-
elers in Death Valley.

To the ElItor Of The Washington Tines
Being a fre-ea1ing Texan By birth, q
resident OF Yuma by accident stoller
in the hold Of an Atlantic liner from
financial necessity, a Kansas whest-cut-
ter nv profession, and a Washington
citizen by virtue Of g friend in the
Senate, I set out yesterday afternoon
TO discover for myself just what sort
of little roasting ovens the poor, power
ty-stricken traction companies are oper-
arfur here and misEs ming street ears
Bend thine ear, kind editor, whilst 1
q tale unfold TO thee!
Through the Tropics OF Forty Min
UteS on q Washington car IS the title
of my story IT is a sad. sad tale. yea,
moist tale-mOiSteued with great beads
Of water extracted from the brOWs OF
my unfortunate fellow passengers
Should Get Nobel Prize.
II Its healthy TO perspire, the Wash
3nston street car companies should be
given the Nobel medal for the greatest
service performed for humanity in 1910
They surely are the prize perspiratiou
promoters OF history They are entitled
10 membership on the board OF directors
OF the steam radiator trust, the linen
collar trust, the laundry trust and the
hot air combine I propose them for
unanimous election to the Society Of
Sun WorShipeTs-
Having once crossed the burning
sands which border the Mystic Shrine.
and remembering my experiences
2sLTide the Equator in the Sahara I
took my Overc1ar along when / sailed
Forth for my memorable Journey from
he Peace Monument 20 Piuey Branch
-oad, fearing lest the fresh breezes
that don't blow through the theorer-
tcally ventilated cars would cause me
10 catch cold Ny more than rude
awakening came when stepped nfn1blv
raa .H-a-
fare collector leaning feeblv against
MS iron railing his tongue thick from
heat and dust and mis- collar wilred
about his parChed throat Just then
somebody opened the little door into
the car and ] was nearly blinded hy
the hot blast that struck me in the
face
Enters the Incubator.
Shades OF sam Houston I rnutter-
60, IAN i hack on the sun-baked plains
OF dear old Texas2 Is that the outer
edge of a Rio Grande dust storm or did
some fend in human form lift the lid
of the lower regions2'
Head down 7 struggled bIirdIy FOR
ward, hatlilDE against the sIrEIng
neat waves Some way I know not
how. ] stumbled inside the car aud fell
painting across the back OF q seat. slip
ped down and landed i'm a sitting pos
tlire near an alleged window.
With a vicious lurc1 my steel prison
tUIEeG ahead and an unfortunate WON
an who had been trying to fight her
way into the furnace behind me. reared
up on one heel did a Serpeutine dance.
clutched wildly AT space for support
ana went SPRAYING back onto the rear
platform square into the arms OF n
fat party who was ved-ed in between
the side Of the car and the iron rail-
iTE.
Now a fat man who rides on Four
teeurh street cars has no business TO
have COTns. but this particular stout
Individual evidently didn't understand
the ethics or ~ washington surface trans
IaTse- nIpe9y cron, and the roar he
let out Of his agOuized face must have
made the Monument tremhle-
Only the Splash Of Precipitation.
Finally, the weary-eyed conductor
took hand pried the lady of the fat
mans feet and got them both steered
inside the car. Peace began TO reign.
At least 7 thought 1t was peace, but
IL may only have been drops Of per
SEPARATION trickIinE OF the passengers
faces and hitting the floor with sibH-
relied up the bottom of nv trousers
70 keep them dry, stuck my head ont
the window for long breath OF air
that hadn't been breathed over q dozen
tlAe9 10y as many people and proceed
ed TO set ready for the worst
me car PECAN 20 I'LL mp, and every
time q stopped everybody who was
standing ND made a rush uu The aisle
Ike the Harvard back field Gurkfuz the
vale line Then every time It started
they all came 0iiiDg 20 the rear a4afu-
falling over each other LrauuIf0c on
all the feet that happened 10 t. I'm the
way and grabbing Historically for
straps and backs Of seats.
Mercury Goes Up and On Up.
In the meantime. the tempera tGrre
kept going up, and UP, and up, and the
air kept getting scaTcsr, and scarcer.
and Scarcer.
SUN the car kept stopping with q
Jerk and starting up again with a yaak,
III the crowd ~ the aisle must have
1elt Ike the egg IN silver sin fiZZ
Just as The lGrkeeper gets through with
The shaker
L began to feel queer in the pit of
The stomach. just as if I'd played hook
eE and was coming home al o'clock
and knew teacher had seen ma Rear
Ing no into the crush of sticky. pant
luE people I started fighting my way 10
the rear door that being nearer TO me.
got Iabte1 IN the ear with a hatpin
and reEed En- the ribs with an umbrella
handle I was rolled and twisted ana
squeezed past folks with fiery red faces.
one -acE.S pound Of butter ESCAPED and
spread Itself neatly between my shoulder
ana a3oLIrr mans back 7 stepped on
my own feet and a lot of other feet
I'd never seen before and wouldn't or
CTuaTlly have had lining 10 90 with.
ana WLeI- Al last 7 gained the glass
partition leading as 7 supposed. 10
freedom aGE fresh air NIr- Con