Los Angeles herald., 1910-05-15

more different languages, dead and
alive, than any other man in Wash
ington.
Haiing frem Pennsylvania and hold
ing his job without having been bucked
off once in a decade and a half it fol-
lows that Penrose is an organization
man. He's a tractable little brother to
the senator from Rhode Island, and
he's never given that same senator a
Single minutes uneasiness since the day
he unpacked his portmanteau and was
assigned to q bench among the politi-
cally elect. Aldrich always can count
upon Penrose. He doesn't have to ask !;
he knows.
In this connection they tell a little
story in Washington, a tale that Illus
| trates the Pennsylvanian'S devotion to
the Aldrich idea
"Penrose." said a friend, "why don't
you marry?"
Penrose meditated. Think it would
be good thing?" he asked. The friend
did.
"All right" said Penrose. "You tell
the organization to pick out the girl.
I'll marry anyone they select"
Probably you never have heard of a
little place in Pennsylvania which fig
ures on the time table of a certain
railroad as Franklin. It's almost a
cinch bet that you never heard of
Franklin, but you're going to. Old
Joe Sibleys started out to make the
town famous by getting himself elected
to congress from the Twenty eighth
Pennsylvania district. Old Joe lives in
Franklin, and where he puts in two
licks for Joe Sibley he puts in another
one for the town of his nativity-all of
which is commercially patriotic and
laudable.
Sibley opened his campaign few
days ago with the issuance of one of
the most remarkable feuilltUns in
the history of American political
strife. You see, old Joe is an outlander
politically speaking, of course. The
Twenty eighth already has a congress-
man, and he's pretty well satisfied with
his job, thank you. His name is Nelson
p. Wheeler. He's not so big a man,
of course, as that other Nelson, from
another state, in the other house; but
he thinks he's big enough not to rattle
around much In the limited confines OF
the Twenty eighth district. Therefore,
when he found that old Joe was jump
ing his fences and tramping down his
crops he waxed lot of wroth and de-
veloped a life-sized, name blown-in-
/ the bottle peeVe. What's more, he said
a few things and did few things in
the way of fence repairing.
Then old Joe got busy also, and issued
| his letter in which he accused Wheeler
of having set aside a corruption fund
of 100000 to secure his reelection.
Further, he said the congressman had
| bought the services of some of the
most unprincipled and degraded news
paper men that have ever disgraced
the commonwealth"
Then came the keynote of the Sibley
campaign. The letter closed with a
| direct appeal to the farm vote, old Joe
! in h te, irT1n ha q
sold 81, 900 900 worth Of horses and never
has cheated" a single man, either in
a sale or a trade. He's no David
Harum, is old Joe, as you may see by
his letter. Perhaps he wouldn't make
such bad congressman after all.
Remember Horace Fletcher? He's
the apostle of mastication, is Horace.
He's talked mastication so long and
with such strenuous emphasis that he's
given a new word to the dictionary
people. To hetcherize now means to
masticate food thoroughly. Mr.. Fletch-
er would have us all emulate the dental
activity of the ruminatory and out
| wardly placid COW. He says II we don't
do 1t the merry little bacteria are going
to get us good and hard.
Recently in a public address DR.. Hot
ace Fletcher drew a fearsome portrait
! of a toothless race, compelled TO take
its nutriment in liquid or concentrated
form, merely because it had lost,
through disuse, the means to prepare
| ordinary food for assimilation in the
ordinary way. Man should have thirty
two perfect teeth, he explained, but not
one man in a thousand has 'em The
cliff dwellers, he added, didn't use
tooth brushes and never INDUCED in
| dentifrices They used their teeth and
, they kept them. Some of the exhumed
skulls show all the thirty-two In a
state of complete preservation to this
| day.
| It's the bacteria that make the trou-
BILE. Fletcher doesn't explain-at least
he didn't upon this occasion-how mas
| tication is going to remedy matters
OF course 1t can't be possible that he
| thinks those bacteria can be masticated
out of existence, chewed to pulp, SO
to speak. OF course not.
M. Emile Faguet-if you do not know
your French you can pronounce that
name any way you please with the alb
solute certainty that you're pronounc-
ing it wrong-M. Emile Faguet has just
made a remarkable proposal, a proposal
that has set all literary Paris TO talK-
| ing.
| M. Faguet, it may as we'll be ex-
plained. is a member of the Academic
| F'rancaise; he's one of the Forty I'M
mortals. Another one of the "1mmor-
tails" having taken on Immortality re-
Gently, they called meeting of the
academy to choose his successor. M.
Rene Dominic was elected to the va
cancy, and it was at the meeting con-
vened for the purpose of that election
that M. Emile Faguet jumped into the
spotlight with his amazing proposal
His idea, clearly expressed and with
out reservation, was that women should
be admitted into the company of the
Immortals. Therefore Paris gasped, and
therefore the Paris Matin instituted
straw ballot on the momentous ques-
ton among the Immortals themselves,
a ballot which revealed thirteen out of
the immortal forty to be partisans OF
the woman idea. Among the equal OPP
portunists was found M. Paul Hervieu'
several of whose plays have been shown
in Los Angeles by Olga Nethersole.
Seemingly the time isn't ripe yet.
The thirteen-unlucky number-are in
a minority, but 1t is surprisingly act
i've minority. Being a close corpora
ton. with the power vested in them
selves to keep their ranks numerically
intact. the Immortals naturally are
conservatives. But there Is always an
other day. Toujours, and perhaps, as
the Parisians are so fond of saying,
toujours la femme.
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