Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1910-08-07

| difference-they hadn't single avail
able wagon. Wait minute! Yes
yes-they would sent them over to
the electric line going out to Mrs.
Surburbanlte's and II Mr.. J. himself
could be on the corner they'd put
them on the car with him and then
he could take them OF and-ali right.
they'd have them there in time for
the four-thirty car.
The 'four-thirty" came-and went.
No brewery wagon. Five minutes
| later it drove liesurely up. The driver
didn't give a dern." If he was late
he'd done the best he could. hadn't
he, And, what was more, he wasn't
going to hang around no corner" for
% minutes waiting for the next car,
All right, Mr.. J. could explain to the
Office any time he wanted. And that
settled ii.
When the five O'Clock" same along
every one. except Homer-dear was
vastly amused at the spectacle OF a.
tired, hot, wilted man trying to load
two cases of beer and a -four sack
full of cheese aud things on the back
platform of the car. The conductor
said he wasn't a baggage smasher
and. moreover, he wasn't going TO be
kept waiting all day either, But MT.
J. growled and fused and swOre UNI
til he finally got everything aboard.
raunhaA Mr. | c dos
tination the same performance, re-
versed, was repeated-only, this time,
the conductor did condescend to give
the flour sack helpful little boost
with his foot as he rang the bell to-
90 ahead.
Mr.. ]. managed to haul the sack UP
tc the house and then paid one Of
the walters % cents to take vince
barrow and bring up the beer!
"Watermelons? No, indeed. sab; no
wathmelons amt done come up for
nobody No, sab, not yit!"
Mr.. J. swore-yes'm. swore right
out loud!
He decided to put the beer on ice
i'm a big tub in the cellar-and then
30 over and straighten up for dinner.
But there wasn't any ice,
The ice man hadn't come that
morning. and Mrs. Suburbanite had
Rad all she could do to keep the milk
from souring. She was sorry-but
she simply couldn't let Mr.. J. have
that one, lone, solitary little piece she
had.
So Mr.. J. dug down in his jeans
again for fifty cents more-and sent
the waiter into town by the next car
TO bring out piece,
BY the time Mr. J. had bathed and
dressed dinner was ready. The wait
or got back with the ice 90 minutes
late for dinner and caught the devil
I from Mrs. Suburbanite,
Right in the midst of dinner the
vatermelons drovs up. So Mr. j.
abandoned the table, took of his coat.
wen; down into the cellar and messed
around in a tub of ice trying to get
four dozen bottles OF beer and five
watermelons TO cool of the same di-
riinutive chunk of frozen water.
i When he got back to the dining
room everybody else was eating de-
sert. and Mrs. Suburbante glowered
her disapproval-
But at last everything seemed
ready except Mr.. J. He was as limp
as a rag, and he'd melted down three
collars in less than an hour.
BY the time he'd played one rub
Ter" OF bridge he was so worn out
and sleepy that he twice trumped his
partners ace and completely ignored
the heart convention" in the first
lead Of no-trump hand, with old Mrs.
Crouch. a bridge fieni incarnate, as
his partner.
When the time for suppe- finally
came Mr.. J. received his reward
oh" said everybody.
All" said the. Others.
You certainly are a wonder,"
gushed the women.
You certainly are-notl" growled
the men as they tried disgustedly TO
ger on the outside of the outside OF
luke-warm beer.
Then. sort Of casuallike. YOU. know,
Mr.. J. started around to collect the
twenty-five cent assessment from each
person.
I'm sorry. Justwed. haven't got
thing less than twenty dollar bill,
said one.
I'll give it to you Monday even
ing said another.
Ask my wife for i'll gave her
the last cent ! had to pay for the
wash about an hour ago explained