davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22
SCENES ON BLATANT BROADWAY

and quotes majorities. He has at his
tongues end other figures denoting
the last annual election returns from
Cayuga. He only gets peeved when
the searchlight does not pick out the
digits with sufficient distinctness and
generally enjoys himself as thorough
ly as a professor of mathematics look
ling over examination papers.
DIX" he exclaims joyously. ''nearly
I5O,O0 plurality already, and
To this the running accompaniment
is caught, mot too close just around
the ankles on the inside"
"Willer plumes for mine; think on
a black velvet picture hat there is
nothing like willer. What did you
say, dearest, Dix defeated by $4,000
majority in Cayuga? Perhaps the fig
ures are wrong. They certainly look
| queer"
| You note at Fifty-ninth street q
proud father holding tiny girl baby
In his arms. who is growing Justify
toward an electric sign. IT'S her first
election, sor,' he explains to a chance
acquaintance, Il walked from the
Bowery." other signs are:
A pretty girl with an aviation curve
to her throat gazing at the moon and
wishing by it, her escort heavily
weighted with chrysanthemum, looks
'on snlilingly while three hoodlums
dust her appraised chin with their
feather weapons.
shy looking miss blowing tin
! horn in the face of a strange. dtgni-
fed, gray haired gentleman. who gazes
, after Her retreating form with stac-
, cato Hinges of hell!'
And one "Votes for Women plac-
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22
From the New York Sun.

From the New York Sun.
~ LATANT BROADWAY, bur-
lesaue of street seven nights
- of the normal week, which
grows every day to look more ike
its material aunt, Miss Midway oi
EXPOSITION Line or another near reia-
tive. The Coney Island Boulevard
lends itself on election night SO per-
fectlv as q mise en- scene that you
would think that 1t was created for no
other purpose
At twenty eighth street where the
throng happens at the moment TO pc
more than usually congested, nre
truc,e comes madly rushing from the
west toward an opening made for 1T at
the crossroads. A panic stricken
woman attempts to dash IN fSont Oh IL,
an ;mnusiye and heroic sacrifice of
human life which a nearby policeman
prevents with an iron hand and the
remark:
as there any reason, ma'am, why
YOU shouldn't stay minute longer
where you be?"
Not knowing why, she remains, per-
haps to think q reason out ana by the
time she has reached a decision the
truck has passed and chaotic ordei
reigns anew. She voices her displeas
ure by telling her escort that al
broadway needs is an Italian funera
and a Masonic parade to make l
perfect. AS for her, give her Metu
chen every time. He looks as II NJ
would like to.
\,
The statistical male is out for In
eyensong, with female hanging OF
either arm. One of them is heard 7
ask, who's being elected, anyway?
and the other, scared by the onslaught
of sudden queue of boys, asks
what are those boys?" and seem
satisfied with his reply. Boys" as h
scans a distant sheet tackled to +
!. temporary structure OF wood.
= For their benefit he adds pluraiitle
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

er seems to overlook the fact that the
people have waited for that verdict al
ready about. 50 years. and patience in the
face of accidents is ceasing to be a vir-
tue. Instead of helping the railroads.
whose earnings are increasing, the City
Council has decided to help the people
whose lives are placed In jeopardy daily.
roads are dallying about this viaduet
business" The council has given them
until December 7 to daily In. Thirty
years of dallying is excessive.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22
THE POSSUM AND THE COON

From the Washington Post.
De bigger dat you see de smoke,
De less de fire will be;
An de leastest kind o'possum
Climbs de biggest kind o. tree.
Tom Pence.
n navs ;, always ,as n regarded de ,nsss
of that sweet singer stbe... Report saith
that he has in incubation in that fiery
imagination of his some verses on the
North Carolina "corned mullet;' that,
when finished and given to the world
will carry the fame of Mr.. Pence as
poet from the south to the north, ana
spread his praise from the east 70 the
west. But his place in letters is assured.
That great journalist, Josephus Daniels
keeps the beautiful and touching pas
sage with which we open this chapter
at the editorial head of his paper, the
Raleigh News and Observer, from the
last of watermelon time till the first OF
sparerib time, every year.
1t is a great varmint-that possum- To
hunt him a cur dog must be enlisted, and
some old uncle of a southern cabin. PICK
| a clear starlight night, When the ar is
! crisp and the wind still. Fed on poke
berries and pawpaw from July to octo-
Der. and thus put in fine Giving condi-
tion," the possum fats on persimmons
after FROST and early or late November
| is the time to hunt him.
| We take the old colored man and his
'.dorg," when the signs are propitious,
and proceed into the swamp, now dry as
a chin. and turn the cur loose. Uncle
will hold you back with "Doan CROWD
| the dorg." and thus you creep LOT
mile, until you hear yelp from the cur
Then all hands rush to the sound, ano
when you come upon him, whether the
tree be big or little, regardless of whose
land it grows on, the ak is put to it and
it is felled. If big tree, the rule Is
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22
IMPERIAL MOTHER

william Watson in the London Times.
imperial Mother, from WHOSE breasts
We drank as babes the pride whereby
we question cen thine own behests.
And Judge thee with no hinching eye;
re, slow TO hear when thou dost call.
Ger vexed with divided will,
when once a rival seeks thy fall,
We are thy sons and daughters still.
The love that halts, the faith that veers
Are then deep sunk as in the sea;
,,ha sea where thou must brook no peers
! And halve with none thy sovereignty.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22
RADIANT FUTURE

From the Randolph Star.
Birmingham is preparing to have a big
jubilee next week over the census show
ing made. Alabamians have known for
some time that Birmingham was a
"whopper' and was doing great things
in all other lines, as well as gaining pop
ulation, but the world has just walked UP
to what our Magic City is really Is and
of the wonderful possibilities of the Biz
mingham district, and incidentally, of all
| Alabama The future for Birmingham
all Alabama, and the entire south
| adiant with promise.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22
EGYpTs LOST ART DISCOVERED

Pittsburg Special to the Philadelphia
Record.
Embalming that will maintain the hu-
man body a hundred ages-the lost art
of Egypt-is said to have been discov-
cred by Homer j. Paar, a graduate of
the School of Pharmacy of the Univer-
sity of Pittsburg Paar has been ex-
perimenting on rodents, and has a num-
her of mummy rats which he uses as
paperwelghts on his desk, and one large
one which he uses for door-check. He
claims that a body properly protected
can be rendered immune to the disinte-
grating influence of time and would car
ry thousands of years into the future
its beauty of today.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
The Ten Commandments are easy to
learn, but hard 10 remember.
man never knows how many of his
wifes relatives he married till they de-
eide 1t for him.
Chorus girls sing with their toes; they
vant their admirers to applaud with theil
pocketbooks.
man can have such good opinion o.
himself there is no room for him to hav,
one of anybody else.
The more money man can drink ant
smoke away on himself the more it would
seem If he were spending it for clothes OF
his family.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

Cincinnati as well as Louisville made
poor showing In the census, but the
former might have shown q larger gain
IL it had annexed Norwood and other pop
ulous and fashionable suburbs said p.
F. Easton of Covington, Ky.
IT feel sorry for Louisville because its
apparent gain of only 9.4 per cent does
injustice to one OF the most progressive
and steadily growing cities in this coun-
try. I was In Louisville last spring
when the census was being taken. and 1t
was generally thought that the popula-
ton had crossed the 100000 line. But
223, 928 was what the census bureau gave
it. notice that Louisville citizens made
an organized effort to have a recount,
but that the bureau declined to entertain
the local petition. OF course the govern
ment must have a rule and stand by IT.
If it recounted all the disappointed cities
the entire bureau would be thrown into
confusion and the government would be
subjected to an enormous additional ex'
pense. But / was in hopes Director Du-
rand would see his may clear to make an
exception in favor of Louisville.
'In most cases where the census fig
ures seem inadequate citizens failed to
cooperate with the enumerators. Many
cities have learned lessons, however, thai
they should not forget 10 years hence
One of them is the Importance of cooper
alton and another is the poor policy Of
attempting to pad.
my old town OF Covington made
pretty fair showing this time-5S,27O al
as against 42,s3S In 19Oo-an Increase O
A.1 per cent. We co-operated actively
with the enumerators. understand tina
Birmingham got a short count becaus
many boarding house keepers and house
holders were Indifferent to the censu
work. But in spite of that Birmingham
comes out with flying colors and an
glad to see 1t celebrating"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22
ABDUL,s HAPPY NOW

From the Orient, Constantinople.
The latest story abodt Abdul Hamid is
that he was never better satisfied than
now, that he is growing fat. having
sained over 20 pounds. He eats well.
plays the violin. reads and does carpen-
try He is reported to have said, This
is the life I have been wanting for &c
years. Don't worry about my trying to
escape. If you leave all tn doors oper
| will not leave this place"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22
The Late Leo ToIstoi

There will be widely different ap-,
praisements of Tolstoi," said man who
has long taken an interest in Russia
Few men have lived in nay time VINO
have been more generally discussed In
enlightened circles than Count Tolstol.
His earlier books have the charm Oh
distinctive literary flavor, but SO much
could not always be said of his later
stories. A literary authority in discussing
ToIstoi two or three years ago pointed
out that his subjective work was In
Invariably morbid.
.That Tolstoi was reformer who Will
be long remembered, there can be nc
question, but he would have accom-
1 plished even greater good than he did II
he had been less whimsical. He seems te
have been at times as crotchely as Gar
lyle, though perhaps never cynical. fFoh
IAN editorial article. two ana one-n"'
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22
Saua.nr INN Kgan.S nurreSSOr

The gap between John Kean, represent
ing special interests in every breath, and
James E. MARITIME, who is known
throughout the state of New Jersey as
Farmer Jim, or as the Farmer Orator.
is very wide. The latter is the antithesis
of the former. MARITIME stands for all,
while Kean stands for privilege at every
turn for the few.
denness, for Senator Kean belongs to the
machine which has long been well in
trenched in New Jersey. Mr. MARITIME is
not a part of the democratic machine or
OF any other machine. When New Jersey
democrats met In a primary to select a
favorite for the senatorship he polled
8,s4s votes, easily defeating Mr.. McDer-
nit, a Newark lawyer The action of the
primary will certainly be respected by the
democratic members Of the legislature
and the house of special interests will
have in Mr. MARITIME one more man whom
the interests cannot cajole or bully. He
will stand Enthusiastically for the demo
cratic principles that he has champione'
in every campaign in New Jersey in tn
last 20 years.
No state has done better than New Jer
sey will do when she puts James e. Mar
fine in the seat long filed by John Kear
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22
grown the fastest are as follows:

This in short is what we celebrate to-
day-the most rapid growth among towns
OF the 1Ooooo-elass in the entire country,
and the most rapid growth in the ex-Con-
federate states among all towns, big or
fit.1a
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

In one sad letter Count Tolstoi ex-
planned why he left home. Perpetual
guests" he says, perpetual visits and
visitors, and perpetual einematograph
operators beset me continually at Yas-
maya Poliana, and poison my life." That
certainly was reason enough.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22
ANOTHER HARD-LUeK STORY.

AMI HEX HARD-LUCK STORY.
The following impressive anecdote ia
ereoited TO comedy sketch team some-
where ON the kerosene circuit.
I had friend who got very tired Of
life. and determined to end it ALL Sc
leeting as comfortable railroad tie
as he could find on the tracks of the
central Branch, he lay down and wait
ed for train to come along and crush
him to pieces" And was he very much
cut up by the cruel train?" mo, he died
of starvation waiting for it,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22
CAUSE FOR UTILIZATION

From the Tuscaloosa Times-Gazette.
Birmingham Is Growing again over hav-
ing beaten Memphis In the race for popu-
lation. tGood for Birmingham. Every
time an Alabama town shows up well Il
helps US all
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

Aviator Ely cannot fly from ship to
shore in this town, but he can fly over
a shoal of good people to their great
wonder and delight.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
A SHORT CUT.

"A oflohI COl.
An advertiser says there is no royal
road to music"
He's right. Furthermore, have never
thought much of the photograph route"
A H-YoUR-BREATH POEM.
A tender wight's
Belinda Gray;
Her hearts delights
A weepy play.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

Edward M. Shepard is no more learned
in corporation law than Elihu Root. and
the democrats may conclude to send him
to the Senate.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

Ciovernor-elect Baldwin declined pub
lie reception on the ground that he had
no time for fuss and feathers" Sem
sible man.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

Before John Mclean becomes a dem
ocratic senator from Ohio he should be
asked to define his views on tariff for
revenue only.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

The greatest democratic victory is the
fall In the price of meats. The demo-
Gratis are making good.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

Farmer Marianne of New Jersey is one
or the coming men of the United States
Senate. Long live Farmer Jim.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

The democrats know they must so con-
duct themselves that there will be no
democratic insurgents in the next Con-
press
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

The Congressional Record can truthful
ly say that it will soon contain new and
interesting features.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

Count Tolstoi was considered eccentric
by many because he practiced what he
preached. We need more eccentrics.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

Mr.. Bellamy Storer is not wearing
mourning because of the way New York
went.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

IT'S COMING.
Soon we will watch the weathervane,
And If there is no gale,
Well know the trusty aeroplane
VIII bring the morning mail.
Springfield Union.
There's very little comfort fills
The mail a fellow gets,
Whose missives run to monthly bills
And editors regrets.
Birmingham Age-Herald.
But there is one thing gives us Joy,
No more the mailman totes,
That post card bunk they did employ
To beg us for our votes
st. Louis Times.
Instead we often find the thing
That like a letter looks,
Is but a subtle scheme to wiring
Our purse for Christmas books
youngstown Telegram
IN HER PICTURES.
While we've never been guilty
OF reading her books,
Is Laura Jean Libbey
AS young as she looks?
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

The express strike in New York was
a fine demand of a parcels post, and
Congress should heed that demand.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

Princeton lost a good president in order
that New Jersey might gain a good gov
ernor.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

The upper berths are to be but 25 cents
cheaper, and the public will not consider
that a cut at all.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

Packer Armour is trying to make his
prediction of lower prices for meats
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

Bacon at 40 cents"-this must mean
the essays written by the author of Ham
let, etc
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

The canals are closed in New Yorl
state and winter has 'set in"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

good.
Just Think Angels food cake is made
in New York of "rots' and spots"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

Bad eggs in cases are sold to the New
York bakeries in great quantities. There
are two grades-'rots" and spots"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22
A HERITAGE.

A dreamer OF dreams lay dying.
His dreams they had never come true,
Oh, the years that he'd weathered IN
trying,
The turmoil. the heartbreak and rue!
The hopes he had cherished undaunted,
When failure was ever his lot;
| The dim fields of memory haunted
By phantoms much better forgot.
The tears that would still be upswelling
When he struggled to stife his signs;
When his spirit was sore and rebelling
'Gainst the world. with its tricks and
its lies.
Oh, the faith that he fought to recover
When he felt 1t was slipping away;
And the pitiless skies bending over
When he knelt in his sorrow to prayl
But the toll and the trouble are ended,
Otherwhere his soul tenderly beams
And the world that he would have be-
friended
Is aglow with the light of his dreams.
EASILY ELATED
hyperion is the sort of fellow who
gets great deal out of life."
'Yes?'
When he wins two cigars on a to-
bacconfst's wheel he struts as much as If
he had broken the bank at Monte
Carlo"
BREvITIES.
THE man who wrote the shortest poem
in the language:
Dix?
Nix!
is calling in the first editions. We sug-
gest as probable substitute:
Dix
Sticks"
-Commercial-Appeal.
While you're revising the poets work.
why not make 1t:
Dix
Licks?
Shreveport Journal.
Or TO change the subject why not have
It:
Ted
Dead?
Florida Times Union.
If that's the case, we feel like saying,
Tee
Heel
A GUILTY CONSCIENCE.
Professor Founder says he had a ter
lible nightmare recently" 4
what happened?"
HE dreamed his piano chased him 10
blocks"
AS A RULE.
The chap who says,
I'm not a FOOL
Is very much
One, as a rule. |
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

The ot-Ballinger feud has broker
out anew. =
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22
QUITE THE CAPER

'Breathes there the man with soul so
dead
Who never to himself hath said,"
''Tis such fad l do aspire
To rise and call Doc Cook a liar?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22
RED BLOOD VS.. BLUE BLOOD

The goosebone prophets predict an ear
" winter and a merry Christmas
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22
QUITE IMPOSSIBLE.

QUITE IMPOSSIBLE.
Are the Smith-Jonesbys here?" asked
Mrs. Snobbington of ST. Peter, at the
gate of heaven.
No. answered the saint.
I'm that case, my DEAR" said Mra.
Snobbington to her husband, who was
meekly standing in the rear, IT shall not
think of applying for admittance. The
society here is evidently not composed of
the smartest people,"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

AS A RULE.
The chap who says,
I'm not a fool,'
Is very much
One, as rule.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

A GUILTY CONSCIENCE.
Professor Founder says he had ter
ribie nightmare recently
What happened?'
HE dreamed his piano chased him 10
blocks"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

But the toll and the trouble are ended,
otherwhere his soul tenderly beams
And the world that he would have be-
friended
Is aglow with the light of his dreams.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

oh, the faith that he fought to recover
When he felt 1t was slipping away;
And the pitiless skies bending over
When he knelt in his sorrow to prayl
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22
EASILY ELATED-

hyperion is the sort of fellow who
gets great deal out of life"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

Small cheer and great welcome make
n merry feast. COMEDY of Errors.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

From the Washington Post.
De bigger dat you see de smoke,
De less de fire will be;
An de leastest kind o'possum
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

When ne wins two cigars on a to-
oaeeonfst's wheel he struts as much as If
he had broken the bank at Monte
Carlo"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

The tears that would still be upswelling
When he struggled to stifie his signs;
When his spirit was sore and rebelling
'Gainst the world, with its tricks and
its lies.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala,
postoff1ce as second-class matter under
act of Congress March 3, 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-11-22
BREVITIES.

Ted
Dead?
Florida Times Union.
If that's the case, we feel like saying,
Tee
Heel
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-04-04

same hour at the First Methodist
church in this city.
Yesterday morning the following
spoke in the Rock Island churches:
Memorial Christian, NJ. B. Madden,
Japan; Spencer Memorial Methodist,
Rockwell Clancy, India; First Metho-
dist, Rev. r. A Montgomery, Ottum-
wa, Iowa; Central Presbyterian, Rev
w. H. Reherd, Waterloo, Iowa; Broad
way Presbyterian, George Heber Jones,
Korea.
In the evening there were union
services at the United Presbyterian,
Memorial Christian and First Metho-
dist churches and at Augustana chapel
The speakers were: w. B. Anderson
and Charles E. Bradt, Chicago, at the
United Presbyterian; Mr.. Bradt and
w. E. Allen at Memorial Christian;
Mr.. Allen and George Heber Jones at
the First Methodist; ]. Abery of India
and Homer c. Stuntz of New York at
the Augustana chapel.