davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1910-08-23
The Gentle Gam. of Golf.

On one occasion an old lady was in
the same railway compartment as a
party of golfers. II found fearful
trouble this morning." said one. "At
the first / fell right into the middle Of
a prickly gorse bush. and at the sec
ond / was stuck up on the top of a
tree. / pitched out of bounds into the
farmyard at the third. got caught by
the wire at the fourth. stuck fast
In a deep hole at the fifth. found my
self buried in mud at the sixth. was
lying in a heap Of rough f1ints at the
seventh, got lost at the eighth and
finished up at the bottom Of that dirty
ditch at the last hole"
"Gracious me-" cried the horrihed
old lady from her corner of the car
rage, "and they told me that golf was
an old mans camel I'll never let my
Edwin play againT-London Globe
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1910-08-23
THE PARSONS CHECKS.
They Were Politely Drawn, but the
Bank Threw Them Out

They Were Politely Drawn, but the
Bank Threw Them Out.
According to George Cary Eggleston,
Virginians of ante belum days showed
great Indifference In money matters.
Money in the form of coin was rarely
seen. The planters were in the habit
of writing checks on a slip of foolscap,
instructing the bank to please pay
the amount specified Eggleston says:
This custom of paying by check so
strongly commended itself to a certain
unworldly parson of my time that he
resorted to it on one occasion In en-
tire ignorance and innocence of the
necessity Of having bank deposit as
a preliminary to the drawing of
checks. He went to Richmond and
bought years supplies for his little
place-it was too small to be called
plantation and for each purchase he
drew particularly polite check
when the banks threw these out
on the ground that their author had no
account the poor old parson found the
situation difficult one to understand.
He had thought that the very purpose
of banks being was to cash checks
for persons who happened to be short
of money. Why. If I'd had the money
In the bank he explained. I shouldn't
have written the checks at all: l
should have got the money and paid
the bills
Fortunately the matter came to the
knowledge Of we'll to do and gen.
erous planter who knew Parson ]. and
who happened to be In Richmond at
the time. His Endorsement made the
checks good and saved the unworldly
old parson deal of trouble. "-Chicago
News
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1910-08-23
@.Me.aw~vuk
THE ANDoRRANs.

All the Inhabitants of the Little Re-
public Are Related.
The inhabitants of Andorra, the little
republic which is wedged in between
France and Spain and which has exist
ed since the year 1872, are very proud
Of their blue blood and ancient lineage.
In their eyes gavache foreigner) of
any description or nationality is mere
ly an inferior being, sort of mush-
room upstart in comparison with them
selves. During 1900 years they have
continually married and intermarried
to such an extent that at present all
the inhabitants are practically cousins,
yet, strange to say, neither their physi-
cal, mental nor moral qualities seem to
have suffered. Both sexes are strong
limbed, broad shouldered, bright eyed,
hardy and long lived, retaining their
hair and their teeth to green old~lge.
They are also keen witted and intelli-
gent, alert and happy hearted, sober,
Industrious, hospitable and devout.
The feminine Andorran has not vest
ige of coquetry about her. She Is just
the female pure and simple. She is
thrifty housewife, helpmate to her
husband in the most literal sense of
the term-ready and able to trudge off
across mountain and valley beside him
with pack Of smuggled goods on her
back In case of need.-Wide World
Magazine.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1910-08-23
TUESDAY. AUGUST %. 1910.
A ROMANCE IN SIGHT.
Started by the unmaskins of the Pair
of Frauds.

Started by the Unmasking of the Pair
of Frauds.
NOT until boarding houses cease to ex-
Isl viii all their romances be written.
Shabby romances, some of them are
IKE that Of the young woman who got
so tired of being called poor thing"
because she received no invitations
and had to eat all her meals at the
boarding house table that she took to
eating alone once in awhile at a cheap
restaurant and then brazenly lying
about the friends who had invited
her to dinner.
There was young man in that
house who never went anywhere ei
ther. The first night the girl ..ayed out
life's desolation nearly overpowered
him. "Eyen that poor little white
faced soul has made friends who want
her." he said. Nobody wants me.
I'm no good on earth"
Then on rare occasions his place at
the table was vacant. "New friends p
asked the landlady.
"Yes," lied the young man.
One night the man and the girl met
In a twenty-five cent restaurant. They
blushed; they fenced; they finally con-
fessed
Were a pair of frauds" said the
girl. tits awful to think that tonight
when we go home we will have to
swear that we have been dining with
friends"
''Well," said the young man, "ain't
wer'-New York Press.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1910-08-23
SHE WAS AGGRESSIVE.
Lucky For the Little Man He Was No
AAr Husband

Lucky For the Little Man He Was Not
Her Husband.
The lady In the offside corner of the
tramcar possessed truculent air and
a discolored eye.
Funny thing any one can't take
penny ride without everybody glarin'
at 'em," she remarked, fixing a small
gentleman wearing gray whiskers and
a somewhat rusty top hat with her
normal optic.
The small gentleman suddenly be-
came interested in soap advertise
ment
IF any one can't ave a black eye
without Tom, Dick and Harry askin'
questions things are comm to pretty
pass" continued the lady.
Silence, allied with soap advertise
ment study, though eminently discreet,
was ineffective.
you I'm a-talkin' to-" The lady
prodded the small gentleman's knee
with her umbrella. BIN settin' there
this last ten minutes. you ave, won
derin' II my 'usban' gives 1t to me. If
it'll ease yer mind, e did. Is there
anything elseY
Madam" the small gentleman com
menced, "had been your husband
II should "a got off at tn cemetery
with a wreath instead O. goin' ter the
'orsepital with visitors ticket" snap
ped the lady, land the wreath wouldn't
"a been expensive either" London
Ideas.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1910-08-23
PROMOTED THE COOK.


An Error Made Him a Professor of
History In Russia.
Some years ago the minister Of edu-
cation in st. Petersburg was appealed
to by telegraph for a cook, to be hur-
ried to Moscow The operator got his
dashes and dots mixed, but by next
train man arrived and was ceremoni-
ously conducted to the university,
where he was introduced to the assem-
bled faculty and students as the new
professor in history.
The unhappy fellow protested that,
while he might be a professor of pots
and pans, he knew nothing about his
tory. But In Russian official life 1t is
harder far to correct an error than to
make one, so for several years the cook
has held his professorship, though no
one attends his lectures.
Another laughable story comes from
the Suwalky school for boys. A door
keeper there who could scarcely read
or write had grown so untidy and
slow that he was no longer useful, but
as the headmaster did not want to set
him adrift he promoted him to teach
er's post and had him transferred to
distant school. He, too, will be a pro-
fessor some day.-Moscow Letter in
New York World.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1910-08-23
Didn't Want Il Elattan.d.

This story is told Of Jerome X. Je-
rome, the humorist Returning from
abroad one time, he fell into good COM
pany, with the exception of one man,
who was what is known as "a walking
encyclopedia" This man persisted in
giving all sorts of information, much
to the annoyance Of Mr.. Jerome and
others. One morning, as the travellers
leaned over the rail, admiring the ris-
ing sun, the man with the information
turned to them and said almost SOL
menly:
Gentlemen, if the earth were flat
tened out the sea would be two miles
deep over the whole world"
Mr.. Jerome turned around, seeming
ly stunned. Then he grew Indignant,
and, walking over to the other man,
he said, shaking his finger menacingly:
Look here, man, if you catch any
fellow trying to fiatten out the earth
shoot him on the spot l can't SWIM"
Philadelphia Times.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1910-08-23
A Weary Celebrity.

When Mrs. Roger A. Pryor was a
young woman living in Charlottesville,
Va, visiting authors seldom reached
the beautiful university town. 'Thack-
cray, Dickens and Miss Martineau
passed us by says Mrs. Pryor in her
book entitled MY Day-Reminiscences
of Long Life" But Frederika Brem-
er condescended to spend night with
her compatriot, Baron Schele de We're
Of the university faculty, on her way
to the south.
Schele de We're invited choice COM
pany to spend the one evening Miss
Bremen granted him. Her works We're
extremely popular with the University
circle, and every one was on tiptoe OF
pleased anticipation.
While the waiting company eagerly
expected her the door opened-not for
Miss Bremen, but for her companion,
who announced:
''Miss Bremen, she beg excuse. She
YER tired and must sleep. If she come
she cape In your noses"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1910-08-23

At the time Of Queen Victoria's fu-
neral a writer in the Undertakers'
Journal complained that, while royal
burals were still conducted In an i'm
pressive manner, a sad lack Of cere-
monial distinguished the funerals of
the nobility. Item after item has
been abandoned, idea after idea has
been dropped, each meaning distinct
loss to our business. An undertaken
in the west end, referring to the re-
cent death of noble lord, confided to
me: Forty years ago buried mem
Der Of that family, and the funeral bill
came to f1,250 Csc, 25O. Ten years
later 1 buried another, when it came
to just over f70O ($3,500). Fifteen
years ago buried third, at a cost Of
1920 Isl, 900, but the bill for this one
did not reach ETC (S375).'"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1910-08-23
INDIANS, PRIDE.
Native Reserve and Conservatism
Keen Them Apart From Whites.

Native Reserve and Conservatism
Keep Them Apart From Whites.
Even among the Five Civilized Tribes
there still remain many communities
wholly full blood. These people drift
together, following their own ideas of
life, speaking their own language and
retiring before the whites with the
same strange reserve and pride that
characterized them in their wild state
Although claiming the name Of sew
eral Christian denominations and fol-
lowing certain beliefs with devout-
ness, their ways of thinking, their dis
like of innovation and their aversion
to work have made them withdraw
to the mountain districts. Whether
this so called reserve comes from pride
or a distrust of the white man or IT,
nudity or merely stubborn conserva-
tism, 1t produces the same result, the
backward and nonprogrcssive Indian.
There is, too. certain mystic quality
that holds the Indian aloof, says the
Southern Workman-a quality that we
do not understand and with which
there is little sympathy in our every
day life. He is so much of philos-
opher that he looks upon our strenu-
Gus life with some contempt, dismiss
ing our efforts for personal comfort
and material advancement with the
remark that ''the white man is heap
trouble to himself" While people call
him lazy because he does not care to
exert himself for those things which
seem important TO whites, yet to
some religious ceremonial or some ar
tistic expression his application is per-
sistent, and the patience of an In
diap" has passed into proverb.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1910-08-23
CHEAP MILK REFRIGERATOR.
How to Make One From q Wooden
Box and q Tin Pail.

ROW TO Make one FROM wooden
Box and Tin Pail.
II milk is not kept cold it is a dan
gerous food for babies, for every min
ute that it is much above the temper
allure of ice the germs of disease In
crease In it at an alarming rate. Very
many babies die of summer complaint
because their milk has been allowed to
stand for hours in a warm room
Many are unable to buy enough ice
in summer to preserve milk In or
binary refrigerators for twenty-four
hours Most mothers, however, buy a
FIVE or ten cent cake every morning
and by following the suggestion of DR..
Alfred F. Hess can make at home at
small cost an excellent milk refrtger-
ator that requires only very little ice:
"Obtain a box from the grocer. Any
wooden box q foot In depth will an
swer the purpose. Buy tin pail with
a cover, one deep enough to hold a
quart bottle Of milk, and a slightly
larger pail without cover. Place one
inside the other and stand them In the
center Of the box. Now pack sawdust
or excelsior beneath and all about
them to keep the heat from getting In.
Complete the refrigerator by mailing
about fifty layers Of newspaper to the
undersurface Of the box cover.
1.-THE refrigerator is now ready for
use. In the morning as soon as the
milk is received 1t should be placed in
the pail, and 8 cents worth Of ice
should be cracked and placed about
the milk bottle. The cover should be
replaced on the can and the lid on the
wooden box. Every morning the melt
ed ice should be incurred ofc"-SnrEAu
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1910-08-23
London's Town Hall.

The guildhall is an important public
building in London, which may be re-
garded as the town hall, and is the
place Of assembly of several courts, as
the court Of common council, the court
Of aldermen, the chamberlain's court
and police court presided over by one
of the aldermen. The construction of
the building was begun in 1411. 1t
was partially destroyed in the great
fire Of 1866, but was soon restored, and
In 1889 1t was altered to its present
FORM The hall proper is 1873 feet in
length, AZ In breadth and 30 in height
1t has been famous for centuries for
the magnificence of its civic feasts.
The first time it was used for this
purpose was in 1900, when Sir John
Shaw, goldsmith, who had been
knighted on the field Of Bosworth, first
gave here the lord mayors feast.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1910-08-23
FEATHERS AND EeesHELLs.

FEATHERS AND EGGSHELLS.
Some have wondered why goose rails
ers set such dirty eggs They are
wise enough not to wash them, for the
removal of the surface film interferes
with their incubation.
Cornell university, ithaca. n Y, is
after the Albany legislature for $780,
600 poultry building 1t should be
granted without objection. for, oh, Cor
nell, you are perfection!
Many judges in our shows wear their
wishbone where the backbone ought to
be. They wish to return to judge the
same show and therefore give the show
officers or others where their fayorit-
ism counts most the best prizes.
When you find a chicken that is alb
normal or weakling kill it. Don't
say, ''I'll raise it to cook" 1t will like
ly die and If not will be a runt which
consumes feed that would raise
splendid specimen.
Summer is dull time so far as sale
Of Matching eggs and fancy stock are
concerned, but it's awful busy for the
pushing, practical, profit making poul-
tryman. There is the usual market
egg and dressed poultry trade But
think of the young stock and what is
required to bring it to maturity.
Every successful fancier wears
hustle that never goes out of style
business hustle.
Toe Anin,oc Nolo ranorts n cole
that eats chickens, and there are 9TH
ers. Chicago reports a hen with hu-
man face that lays fat egg. Next!
Twenty-eight New York egg ware
houses report 1,119OOO cases in stor-
age-about 400,OO0,OO0 eggs. Last year
there were $4,000 cases stored. Prices
are also advanced on last year.
When an English banker paid $1.75
for two eggs, cup of tea and slice
of bread in New York hotel, he at
once took ship for home. If he had
ordered eggnog instead of ale he
wouldn't have lived to tell the tale.
A western poultry editor advises his
readers not to put down concrete
poultry house floors and positively de-
clares they cause bumblefoot. In this
statement he is mistaken.
While sparrows are extremely diff
cult to destroy and perhaps will never
be exterminated in this country rats
may be destroyed. Only John Bug
house will allow such vermin to breed
and to feed on his chickens and grain.
=
neighbor who harbors these pests that
do damage to fowls next door.
North and South Dakota produced
$48,OO0,O00 in poultry and eggs last
year. Pennsylvania product was
about half this amount The eastern
states may produce more green quacks
at their colleges and duck plants, but
for turkeys and chickens the most and
best-oh, you wild and woolly west!
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1910-08-23
Acquiring . Reputation.

Archbishop Howley, who lived IN the
eighteenth century. most unjusuy got
the reputation of swearing Ike
trooper. The explanation is that the
Duke of Cumberland. who fought the
battle of Culloden and who was un-
speakabIy profane, once went In quest
of the primate to get his assistance
about a certain bill which he disliked-
He returned to the house Of lords, say
ing: tits all right. my lords. Eve seen
the archbishop, and he says he'll see
the promoters to - before he'll vote
for the - billw As matter OF TACT,
all the profanity had been supplied
ouite in the ordinary run of converse
ton by the duke--Londnn 'fafiAr
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1910-08-23
HOW
PREVENTION OF WRINKLES.
How to Refine Skin and Build Up Tia
sues With Cuounnber.

6ow to Refine Skin and Build Up Tis-
sues With cuoumbers.
1t Is easier to prevent wrinkles than
to get rid OF them, and If women would
remember this there would be fewer
lined faces and much of the effect of
age would be kept away Cucumbers
are inexpensive and one of the best
things that can be used.
The method of extracting the LIQUID
Is always the same, and 1t Ia better to
make a small quantity at time to
have 1t always fresh. The vegetable is
carefully washed and sliced, peel and
all. 1t is then put into a saucepan with
just enough water to cover and Is gem
tly simmered until the mass Is mush-
like. An hour is none too long for this.
the secret of having the best juice be-
ing In having all the strength extracted
without allowing the liquid to boil
away. When cold 1t is squeezed
through muslin and then run through
fine strainer. Cucumber essence Is
made by adding an equal quantity of
high proof alcohol to cucumber Juice.
A cream highly recommended as a
tissue builder and skin refiner is made
of two ounces of sweet almond oil,
five ounces Of cucumber juice and one
and half ounces of the essence, an
eighth Of an ounce of CASTLE soap re-
duced to powder and one-third Of a
dram Of tincture Of benzoin.
The soap and essence should be put
into quart preserving jar and tightly
covered to stand for twelve hours at
least. During the time 1t should be
shaken more or less constantly. The
cucumber juice Is added when the soap
is dissolved, and the liquid Is then
turned into basin. Into this first the
almond oil and then the benzoin are
gradually added. whipping all the time
with a silver fork The mixture when
complete should be a creamy mixture.
1t is best to put it into several small
bottles, those not in use being tightly
corked. 1t should be shaken before
applying. This lotion dries into the
skin when well rubbed on. 1t may be
applied morning, night and through the
day, being used as a substitute for cold
cream.
An astringent mixture Of cucumber
is to add a teaspoonful of tincture of
benzoin to two ounces Of the juice,
rubbing this in after applying cold
cream. This is to be regarded as a
bleach and astringent and not as It's
sue builder.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1910-08-23
WORKED LIKE A CHARM.
She Joined a Card Club In Order to
FORGET Her Work.

Forget Her Work.
An Atchison woman who found the
monotony of dishwashing, cooking and
laundry work proving too much for
sanity was urged to join card club.
1T win take your mind of your
work." she was told, and so she joined.
In order to attend she had to get up
that morning an hour earlier to get
her work done; neighbor girl was
hired to stay with the baby, and when,
iustered, nervous and tired, she left
the house fifteen minutes late she was
followed by the screams of her three
children because they couldn't be
taken along. But she had her mind
taken OF her work at the card party.
OF that there is no doubt, for when
she made a misplay her partner, a
perfect lady, walked right over her,
then picked her up and shook her, and
then chewed on her for fifteen min
utes. She became SO frightened that
the little wits she had under her hair
fed, and she made another misplay
with another partner, and this woman,
also a perfect lady. talked to her in a
way the woman should have been
ashamed to talk to dog. 1t was more
than she could endure, and, weeping
like a sprinkling cart, she got up and
went home.
at did even more than it promised
she told her husband. Nothing has
ever happened to me in all my life that
so effectively took my mind off my
work. Why, there were times when l
even forgot l had you and all the chill
dren."-Atchison Globe
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1910-08-23
How 70 Clean Paint.

The ordinary whitening sold by gro
GERS and stores Is excellent for clean
ing paint and does not injure it in the
least. Mix it with cold water to the
consistency of cream, wiring clean
cloth out Of warm water, squeeze 1t
as dry as possible. dip 1t in the whiten-
ing mixture and rub the paint until all
the stains disappear. A wooden skew.
er such as butchers use Is excellent
for pushing the cloth into crevices and
corners. Rinse OF the whitening with
warm water and a clean cloth and
then wipe the paint as dry as possible
If rubbed until quite dry the polish
viii be restored to the paint and IL
win look like now.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1910-08-23

WHITE CRESTED BLACK POLISH COCK.
knots and grace, which give them a
unique place and win them admirers
anywhere
The family is composed Of White
Crested Black, Golden, Silver and
White. The latter three are bearded
or nonbearded The females with
whiskers especially are odd, as are
human hens who stoop to mannish
manners.
The distinctive characteristic of this
breed is the chrysanthemum crest
which in the male should be large,
well balanced and flowing, and In the
female should be like the picture.
The difficulty in breeding the White
Crested Black is to get black body
and a white crest, but by judicious Sc
lection this is accomplished.
The size of the crest depends on size
of poll, so breeders pick birds with
the largest knobs.
Polish chicks should be raised alone
as they do not see well, and are thus
bullied and robbed of feed.
Some trim crests of old and young
during breeding season and claim
they do better.
They lay pure white eggs that weigh
from twenty-six to twenty-eight ounces
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1910-08-23
oriain Of . Famous Saving.

Euclid, who is sometimes called the
father Of mathematics, taught this
subject In the famous school at Alex
andria. Being asked one day by the
king Of Egypt Ptolemy Sotep whether
he could not teach him the science in
a shorter way, Euclid answered in
words that have been memorable ever
since, "Sire, there is no royal road to
learning" Not many scraps Of CONVEX
sation have lived, as this reply has, for
1900 years.