New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-03-18
THE TALK or THE DAY.


Mamie is considered the duliest pupil IN
a public school class. Not long ago the
teacher assigned a subject for a compost
tion and was surprised az the comparative
excellence Of Mamie's work. why,
Mamie" she remarked. By way OF encour-
agenent. you have done wonderfully well
But. really. was IL Original?'' mo. ma'am."
replied Mamie. Il made Il up myself"
Wigwag-Closefst isn't exactly generous.
Is he?
cOFkscrew.- Record.
Take the subway and go 90 72d street.
change there and get out az the next sta
ton That was the order given 90 a boy,
a stranger in town. going ON his first err
rand in 18th street. The boy came back 90
the business house after an unusually long
time with this tale Of woe: II got out az
I'd street. took the next train and landed
at s6th street. Then l rode back and got
out at I'D again. but didn't have g nickel.
50 ] walked TO 18th. / got there all right
but had 10 walk all the way back" One
Of the boys employers wanted to discharge
him at once. but the other prevailed on his
partner TO keep him. saying; That was
his initiation. and from now on he will
know the difference between an express
and a local. We al had TO learn Il only
I'VE years ago"
Il can't get along with that cook
But have YOU tried diplomacy my
dear?"
4 have To-day I handed the mink her
passports "-WashingtOn Herald.
The rats Of the Paris sewers. driven from
their homes by the great floods have In
vaded some quarters of the city In such
numbers that special means for their de-
struction have had 90 be taken. The regular
band of municipal rat catchers was over
whelmed by the magnitude Of the task and
the force has been doubled. The Occupa-
ton of rat catching in Paris pays we'll.
Those animals which are caught alive are
sent 10 London and Brussels, whence nu-
merous orders arrive from breeders of rae
catching dogs. The Figaro" says that the
expectation OF Partisan rats az present
amounts To between fifteen hundred and
two thousand a day. They are sold for
about a dollar dozen.
Barber-How does the razor work?
Xictim-Why, 1 wouldn't know ! was
being shaved.
Barber-Thank you. sir
Nictim-YOu see. it's more like being
hayed alive.-Cleveland Leader.
Writing OF street life in Paris. Wilhelm
Fe!dmann says IN the welt Spieger' that
the unique features are the gymnastic and
acTObatic performances which one sees
there. Wherever traffic will permit one
may expect To see the street acrObats, men,
women and children. spread their carpet.
erect their apparatus and. 10 the accom-
paniment of a few instruments sometimes
only a drum. give their performances.
Feats OF strength. balancing and pyramid
building are performed and then one OF the
youngsters. In tights. collects the coppers
from the crowd which usually cOngTegates.
This done the performers throw long
cioaks over their tights and move on with
their wagon 10 the next hating place.
Wilns-Jones thought that by showing
the assessors q good time he could GET
them 10 reduce his taxes.
Gillis-D!d he succeed?
Ninis-NO- He got them 50 fun that
they saw everything double, and now he
Is paying twice as much as he was before
Judge
There Is butcher near the subway kiosk
az 18th street and Broadway who has
taken an oath that he will never try an
other livestock exhibit as an ADVERTISING
dodge, at least a. long as the Chantecier
style hat Is In vogue. Yesterday he rugged
up his window with a wire netting and in
stalled therein a 'scrappy'' little Bantam
rooster with two hens OF tho same breed.
outside the netting he had two baskets OF
eggs arTanged-but they have nothing % do
with the trouble. Along toward noon, after
the rush hour crowds Of the morning had
paused 20 admire his little exhibit, the
butcher noticed HIS Bantam rooster flying
and jumping batlike against the window
pane. Tapping it's wings and stabbing ana
scratching at everything within his reach
A glance outside disclosed the reason; there
was a woman talking 10 a friend and
wearing a Chantecler hat, decorated IN
perfect imitation OF a small. black rooster
crouched down. apparently ready to spring
and sink his spurs into an enemy The
Chantecler on the hat was complete down
TO the last detail OF eyes. beak and red
comb. and the real one in the window got
ali ready TO tight. The butchers efforts
al quoting the bantam attracted the atten-
ton Of the wearer Of the latest thing IN
hats and she hurried into the subway sta
ton with the remark: IT think it's per-
fectly disgusting TO have those live chick
ems on display that way"
We'll. Tam. did ye make Ony guild reso-
lutlOnS Tor the New Year,
AYE; I've ta'en ma oath no tae touch
Whuskey again except as a medicine
"Eh, Tam then I'm feared we've con-
demnSd yerseF tae life o SICKNESS" -