Holbrook argus., 1910-02-08

1 Company Utd.) for the englneer was kirksy, and there was a golden half hour between the time he shut down steam and washed up that 1 coveted
 found Kirksy resting, with his pipe lit, smut-faced and blue everalled
 " Tis fair afternoon" 1 said, but bids to be colder"
 Did l ever tell you," began Kirk sy honorably, about the time Henry Horsecollar and me took a phonograph to South America?" and I felt asham- ed of my subterfuge, and dropped into the wooden chair he kicked toward me.
 Henry and me met at Texarkana and figured out this phonograph scheme. He had $36O and had s2SS The photograph idea was Henry's, but l took to it freely, being fond of ma chinery of all kinds.
 We bought a fine photograph in Texarkana-one of the best make and half trunkful of records. We packed up and took the T. and P. for New Orleans.
 We landed on smiling coast at a town they denounced by the name, as near as I can recollect, of Sore-toe- kangaroo. Twas a palatable enough place to look at.
 Henry skinned a twenty off his roll, and received from the bureau of mercenary dispositions a paper bear ing red seal and a dialect story and no change.
 Then we got the consul full of red wine, and struck him for a horoscope He was thin, youngish kind of man. l should say past fifty, sort of French Irish in his affections, and puffed up with disconsolation. Yes, he was a fattened kind of a man, in whom drink lay stagnant. inclined to corpu- lence and misery. Yes, think he was a kind of Dutchman, being very sad and genial in his ways.
 The marvellous invention he says, entitled the photograph, has never before invaded these shores. The peo- pie have never heard it. They would not believe it if they should Simple hearted children of nature, progress has never condemned them to accept the work of can-opener as an over ture, and rag-time might incite them to bloody revolution. But you can try the experiment. The best chance you have is that the populace may not wake up when you play. There's two ways says the consul, they may take it. They may become inebriated with attention, like an Atlanta colonel list ening to Marching Through Georgia = or they will get excited and transpose the key of the music with an ax and yourselves into a dungeon. In the lat ter case, says the consul, I'll do my duty by cabling to the state depart ment, and I'll wrap the Stars and Stripes around you when you come to be shot, and threaten them with the vengeance of the greatest gold export and financial reserve on earth The flag is full of bullet holes now says the consul, made in that way Twice before,' says the consul, I have cabled our government for a couple of gun. boats to protect American citizens The first time the department sent me a pair of gum boots. The other time was when a man named Pease was | ferred that appeal to the secretary of agriculture. Let us now disturb the senor behind the bar for a subse- quence of the red wine.'
 Thus soliloquized the consul of Sore-toe-kangaroo to me and Henry Horsecollar.
 But, notwithstanding, we hired a room that afternoon in the Calle de los Angeles, the main street that runs along the shore, and put our trunks there.
 "We were rubbing the dust of the machine and getting fixed to start business the next day, when a big, fine-looking white man in white clothes stopped at the door and looked in. We extended the invitation, and he walked inside and sized us up.
 "'New York?' he says to me finally.
 Originally, and from time to time, I says Hasn't it rubbed off yet?'
 "It's simple says he, when you know how. It's the fit of the vest. They don't cut vests right anywhere else Coats maybe, but not vests
 "The white man loks at Henry Horsecollar and hesitates.
 1njun,' says Henry; tame Injun.'
 'Mellinger,' says the man-'Homer F. Mellinger. Boys, you're confiscated. You're babes in the wood without a chaperon or referee. and it's my duty to start you going. I'll knock out the props and launch you proper in the pellucid water of Sore-toe-kangaroo. You'll have to be christened. and if you'll come with me I'll break a bottle of wine across your boWS. according to Hoyle.'
 Mine and Henry's money was coun- terfeit. Everything was on Homer P Mellinger. That man could find rolls of bills in his clothes where Hermann the Wizard couldn't have conjured out