Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1910-03-09
THE MISSING LETTER
ez Nj. eUhp.

When Deacon John Green's wife
died ae was left with seven children
on his bands. and his friends and
neighbors said they wouldn't blame
him a bit for getting married again
within a year. This was very kind OF
his friends and neiehD0rs. bar it dhm't
exactly solve the problem. To get
married. whether for the first time or
the seco,id and whether man or WON
an, one must lind one 81 the opposite
sex who is willing II IS said that in
case Of wldower over forty his first
thought is to marry girl Of twenty
and his second to lock around for
widow Of about his own age If Dea-
con Green figured this way he didn't
find the girl. and 1t was two years be-
fore he found the widow lie was
planting corn IN his field one day
when sewing machine man came
along and sought 10 banter him into
a purchase. He was joYial man. and,
although the farmer couldn't see his
way clear to buying the other saw his
way clear to do him good turn. and
he finally asked the deacon why he
had not married again.
Because / aon't know Of anybody
that would have me-" admitted the
deacon. with almost a blush.
"whew! why man. YOU are way
behind the times. Say, can give you
the name Of q widow right now She's
about forty years old. and she lives IN
Saundersville. Owns her own house
and lot, and / guess she has money"
"She might have me aud she might
not" answered the deacon.
"But how are you going to know I'M.
til You try? Say, man, / believe you
are letting a good thing slip away"
The deacon thought It over after the
agent had gone, and he thought il over
when the children Tyrangled over the
supper table aud after they had gone
to bed The result was that next day
he drove over to Saundersvile. II
was an hour after he reached the viii
lage before he dared call upon the wild
ow and then he made the slimsiest
sort of excuse lie helnmed and hawed
and finally asked II she had cider bar
rels to sell. The Widow Taylor sus-
pected the real object Of his visit and
smiled al his wanting cider Barrels in
MAY, but she didn't smile to hurt his
feelings. She let him down easy. and
he returned home feeling quite chirky.
1t was only when he drove into his
yard and found five Of the children
pulling hair on the grass that chill
L. l. ttg
question and own up to the seven!
That night after the children had
fought themselves to bed and TO sleep,
the deacon got out pen and paper and
wrote a letter to the woman whom he
had seen a few hours before. lie told
Of his situation very truthfully until
he came 10 the number of his children.
He dared not admit to seven. II was
deception TO say several" but ne de-
ceived. ~ widower with several IN
teresting children" he put it, and ear
~ next morning he gave it to a pass
ing farmer to mail Only two hours
had gone by, and the children had
had but one Free for all scrap, when
his heels suddenly lifted from the
ground Suppose his letter led the
widow to saying yes. She must then
know that be had seven instead Of
several children. and what would be
the result? She would claim decep-
ton aud probably sue him for dam
ages. Ills own letter would convict
aim 1t was warm May day, but the
deacon shirered Half an hour later
he was driving to Saundersyille again.
His letter to the widow would reach
there at 5 o'clock In the afternoon. and
he must get hold Of it.
1t was very neryy thing for the
deacon TO 20 10 the postotiice at the
proper hour and inquire for mail Tor
the Widow Hastings bat he had work
ed up his courage and the postnlis-
tress happened to be unusually busy.
and SO the letter was handed out and
he started s0r home An hnur after
his doing so the widow herself ap-
peared at the Office anu asked for moi
and was toid that a letter had been
handed out The nostmistress couldn't
remember TO whom. and a row was on.
II so happened that the widow was
expecting an important letter. and the
Inspector for that district was notified
and came on to solve the mystery.
There was no clew 10 start on The
letter had been handed out 20 some
one. but whether to man, woman or
child could not be recalled. In detec-
| tive work elews turn up like soft corns
between the toes, A man who knew
Deacon Green remembered of seeing
him in SaunderSville on a certain day
| with a letter in his hand
Meanwhile the deacon had heard Of
| the row being raised and had become
both conscience stricken and fright
ened He had done thing to land
him in prison, and he must undo It. He
/ had the letter. and he put il IN his
pocket and started Tor Saundersvile
FOR the third time On the way over
he aud the inspector passed each 9th
err, hut neither suspected the others
/ identity. Straight to the Widows
house the deacon drove and handed
( her the letter.
What IS it," she naturally asked
''Rcad H." he replied
This Is from YOU take ii?"
Yes"
And E0u YOU
a didn't want elder barrels that
day hut | wanted YOU 7 want you
yet l deceived You about the num-
.