The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1910-07-25
ACan ForE 1elp
By CHAUNCY WARDWEu
Associa ton.


Bile of the waiter who had attended
him at breakfast
NO. sir: Mr.. Goodspeed 'aSn't been
hin the club this mornin'. sir. Any
way. | 'aven't seen i'm. sir. | don't
think ell be ere again Very soon. sir"
why not:"
II 'eard the chairman hov the 'ouSe
committee sayin' to Mr.. HedwartlI that
arter the scandal Mr.. Good>peed ort 10
be suspended. sir"
Scandal: What scandal"
What 'appened between i'm and
Mrs. krinkle.''
What did happen:"
Why. sir. Mr. Goodspecd as is
rooms at the st. Dom:nick. Well. e
was hin is SIeepin' room the other
mornin'. avin shaved and dressed.
and was just goin' downstairs when e
card voice. There's another room
adjoinin' is bedroom that q doesn't &C
cupy 'im>elf. with II door between the
two. This door was locked. hui Mr..
Good~pced could ear the voice comm
through hit. and the voice was fan.iI-
lar TO i'm. sir. Hit was Il very pleas
ant voice. sir
well. what did it say"
Hit said. oh. Tom. dear If | only
'ad you ere You know Mr.. Good
speeds first name is Thomas. sir
I've seen hit hoften on the list hoy
members-Thomas c. GoodSpeed So
e knew the voice referred to 'imself."
'Was there no other reason"
Eyes. sir: e recognized the voice. Hit
was that how 'er as 'ad been Mrs. Good
speed. They 'ad been divorced some
years before. and Mrs. Goodspeed 'ad
married Mr.. Krinkle."
"Well. go on"
"Mr. GoOdSpeed. sir, forcettin' as low
e wasn't married to the lady. but she
was the wife how another man. walks
out into the all and hopens the door hoy
the room where the voice came from
Mrs. Krinkle was a-standin' with 'er
back turned from i'm. 'er dress un'ook-
ed. f hentered without maxim hang
noise, and. gettin' down Oh is knee. =
begun to 'ook hup 'er dress behind.
"1s that you. 'Oward? she said
'Ow did you 'appen to be on and when
l wanted you? You are the most hin
considerable man l hever card hov.
When you are ere to button my dress
you can't find either the 'ookS or the
heyes. You're much more apt to put
the 'OOk in the lace. You've ruined
'alf a dozen dresses for me already
My poor dear Tom, whom | treated so
badly. would never ave been SO stu
pid. Tom 'ad both brains and Il good
rued givin' i'm hup for you hcver
since | sent i'm away
MIR. Goodspeed didn't say anything:
e just went on feelin' for the 'ookS
and lOokin' for the heyeS. never swear
in or anything when he couldn't find
EN- and provin' what the lady said
that e 'ad a first class disposition
That's what l call a model husband.
SRA man as can 'Ook hup is wife's
dress and never break none hov the
Ten commandments a-doin' hit
Go on. I don't care to hear about
man angels. not being one myself"
We'll. sir. when the job was finish
ed. without even 'OOkin' Il single 'ook
on the wrong heye. Mrs. krinkle turn
ed. and. seem er former 'usband ON
is knee before 'er. raised 'er 'ands to
'eaven and exclaimed:
my goodness gracious"
"Mr. Goodspeed e looks hup with
just such heycs as Il man would nat
urally ave who could 'ook hup a wO-
mans dress without swearin'. and e
says:
Him. my dear, you wanted me
mighty bad. didn't you:'
"''Ow did you know l wanted YOU
to 'ook my dress:' she asked.
"'When l ear any woman a-cryin'
for 'elp in 'er dressin' room l know
that's what she wants-some one to
do that. Besides. I'd card you call
on me for that hoften'
"'Oh. Tom. when let you go l
didn't know 'ow dependent was on
you. l can never get another man TO
'OOk my dress rs You do hit
And | didn't know the force how
'abit. When | go to breakfast hin the
mornin' without 'avin' cooked hup a
dress l can't eat anythink. Hits like
not 'avin' 'ad n cocktail that ones used
to-
"'For 'eaven's sake. Tom. what are
we thinkin' hov: Supposin' hanybody
should 'appen to come hin"
With that the door hopencd and hin
walks Mr. Krinkle.
What are YOU dom hin my wifr's
BEDROOM ar>ked Mr. Krinkle.
A dom what YOU never did with
out maxim Il mess how hit put III
Mrs. krinkle. ''Ow d" you hexpect I'm