davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27
Wedding Fee Counterfeit.

A well.dressed stranger entered the
office OF Justice William B. Williams.
Montclair. N. j.. and after shaking
hands astonished the justice by say
ing: I'm here to redeem that .coun.
terfeit $40 bill passed on you. Two
years ago I called on you with my
girl and two witnesses and you mar
ried us. I handed you a SO bill.
had counterfeit In my pocketbook
that Id carried for several years.
never missed it until yesterday. Then
I remembered that I'd accidentally
handed you the BILL" The caller pro-
duced a good SO bill. but the justice
refused to take it. Don't let that
worry you. my dear fellow" he
laughed. Il never knew it was q
counterfeit. No kind Of money sticks
to me over night. I'm married. my.
SELF"
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27


able Judge Adams-laid down his
morning paper and looked at Jack
over his glasses.
See here. young man. go ahead and
get your patent feathers II you need
them. but get the ones you have on
fxed up. l know where there's a lit
tie cobbling shop down on Spencer
street-it's kept by two brothers-old
soldiers both Of 'em. crippled by the
war. and they're trying to make an
honest living. Tell the old fellows to
put on some good strong half soles
and straighten up the heels II they
need straightening."
Katherine passed her father the
toast. Daddy" she said. coaxingly
may take the new auto on Memorial
day? You know you and mamma are
talking Of going to Uncle Roberts to
spend the day. and II you'd only let me
take It Id be so careful"
He folded his newspaper. consulted
bis watch anxiously. and rose
WE'LL" he said. i've got to be goins
or I'll miss that car. Yes. Katherine
I guess you may take the auto. II you
think you can be careful. Broken
bones are expensive ~ we'll - mighty
painful. And you. Jack. remember
what told you about those shoes"
Jack cornered Katherine as she wa
going upstairs to dress for school.
Say. sis." he said. digging his lists
Into his pockets. would you mind Ia
king my shoes down to those old duff.
Iers on your way to school? You gen
orally 60 that way to call for Phyllis.
don't you?"
Katherine took the bundle under her
arm along with her high-school books
and went down Spencer street.
She went into the little shop and
sat down to wait. She had knocked
loudly. but no one had responded. and
she had made bold to enter.
As she sat there waiting, voices
from the little kitchen beyond reached
her. Evidently the two old men were
having a late breakfast. and evidently
also they were somewhat hard oi
hearing. for they kept on talking.
Katherine did not really mean tc
listen. but sentence caught and held
her attention.
Il don't care SO much for myself
jerry" an old voice was saying. but
laws! you hain't ever missed goin' tc
Decoration day. And hate to have
you miss this one-yes. sir. do. Jerry
II work wasn't 30 slack now mebby
we could afford to hire old man Daw
sons horse an buggy to go with. but
there's the grocery bill yet to pay
an the medicine for your rheumatic
an the repairs on my wooden leg. ant
our pensions not due yet for quite 9
spell. and"
Here Jerry broke in. Now yor
hain't no call TO worry none about me
Silas." he said. mot q mite. gues.
| know how willin' you be to 20 with
out things SO as to give me a leetle
pleasure-you always was that way
an appreciate 1t. But don't you &C
to worryin'. l guess mebby we car
hear the band play clear here, an
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27
The Valuable Match,

There was a loud splash, and a mo
ment later a dripping head appeared
above the waves. On the end of the
dock was a stevedore nonchalantly
lighting his pipe.
Help, mani" cried the chap in the
water. Cant you see am over
board? can't swim"
How often have you been DOWN.
asked the stevedore. shielding the
Pickering match from the wind.
"Once. I believe, but hurry up, man!
Give me a hand!"
"You wait! You have two more
times yet to go down. and 1 have only
one match. I'll catch you on the last
trip."-Exchange.
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27
Safe.

"Hullo. Billie" said the freshman to
. classmate. who was whistling blithe.
ly as he walked along. "Wither away?"
I'm goin' up to DR.. Cuttem's to be
examined for appendicitis" said the
other.
"Geerusalem! You don't seem to be
very much worried about It," said the
first.
"Oh. no." smiled Billie. There won't
be anything doin'. I've never been able
to pass an examination the first time
in all my fair young life."-Harper's
Weekly.
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27
Warm Weather 10 Coming.

A delinquent subscriber was dying
and the editor dropped in to see him.
How do you feel?" asked the pencil.
pusher.
IAN looks bright before me-" gasped
the subscriber.
Il thought so.'' said the editor.
You'll see the blaze in about ten min.
utes.'
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27
They Surely Would.

A little American boy with his ia.
ther was visiting a market in a Mex
ican city. He saw little native girl
with a small basketful Of red peppers.
of which she was eating one. His IA.
ther was about to say: she thinks
she is very smart" as the son called
his attention to it, The boy spoke up
quickly. knowing what was to be said:
PA, would those red peppers make
you smart if you eat all of them" His
father replied: Yes, son."
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27
WILLING to Pay for Rammer.

tie of Abu Klea. in the Nubian des.
ert. was penetrated by the dervishes.
one Of them attempted to spear gun.
ner who was in the act OF ramming
home a charge. The Briton Drained
the Sudanese, but the rammer head
split on the mans hard skull. Next day
the gunner was sent for. Mistaking
the reason. and knowing from expert
ence that soldiers are charged for
government property which they
break, he led of with: please. sir,
I'm very sorry l broke the rammer.
but l never thought the fellows head
could be so hard. Ill pay for the
rammer SO as to hear no more Of
the case"
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27

are you going to get them up to that
cemetery. Id like to know? Hire .
livery rig? Pocket money for May all
gone. Borrow from Daddy? Never!
Take them in the automobile instead
Of the girls! Well-I-never-"
Katherine stopped on the sidewalk
and laughed aloud. What would the
girls say? And the boys? And Jack?
The girls eyes sparkled. Il will"
she said. "and know OF another who
will I'LL the empty seat. Old Mrs.
Davis. who hasn't been to a Memorial
day celebration for years. and she q
soldiers widow still wearing an old
rusty Grape veil In his memory. Poor
old dear! And know not one Of them
has ever had an auto ride or ever ex-
poets to. And after the exercises
perhaps I'll take them a spin down the
river road. I will! will! The poor
old souls! I'll make 'em have one
That afternoon was . dream Of de-
light to the three old people and the
years fell from them like a garment,
/ SO wonderful thing is Joy to those
! whom Joy seldom visits. The color
came in Widow Davis wrinkled
cheeks. and her old eyes beamed with
pride as she looked across the rows
Of graves to Henry's. where the little
flag fluttered and the great bouquet OF
white syringas and plumy lilacs lay
like a benediction. The band played
Its sweetest and softest. and the two
old brothers never knew that quiet
tears were running down their faces
, as they listened.
The generals speech was strons
and true. and brave and tender, and
when 1t was over. Silas and Jerry
could not refrain from hobblinx I'D to
greet their old commander.
When at last 1t was all over and the
people began to descend the long hill,
Katherine turned her automobile in
the direction of the river road She
drove slowly. SO that her guests might
enjoy the exquisite view, and on and
on they went, miles out into the beau.
tiful. free, open country. But on the
| way home Katherine gave them the
ride Of their lives. and laughed to see
the widows old face flushed like ,
girls and her gray hair floating on the
wind. while the old crepe veil blew out
straight behind into the delighted faces
Of the two old men, who were thor.
oughly enjoying the swift pace. It wa.
all very wonderful and beautiful. ano
surely there was a good deal in life
after all. they thought
That night the general Was the CUES,
of honor at Judge Adams at dinner
The judge and his wife had at the
eleventh hour given up their proposed
visit. and were glad and proud to en-
tertain SO famous a guest
Tho general looked across at Kath
crime. my dear young lady," he be
gan in his stately. old-fashioned way
ut does me good-more than I can ex
press in mere words.-to discover that
youth is not all frivolity and flippauc,
in this generation. When I saw yor
today giving pleasure and satisfaction
to those whose lives are poor ant
lowly-when heard afterward of the
delightful outing you gave them on tn,
beautiful river ad-why-I-I-"
The general stopped and tried ts
think of the proper word, then smiled
at Katherine. which was great dea
better than finding it.
They told me all about tt-Sila,
and Jerry" he said, when l called t.
see them on my way here, and If eve,
a happier or prouder pair of brother,
existed have never met them"
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27
Considerable Difference,

POST don't see the difference be-
tween playing bridge for prizes and
gambling for money
Parker-There's a lot. When YOU
play for money you get something
worth having.-St. Louis Post-Dis.
patch.
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27

H. n. Camp. 1856
Delaware St.. Den.
yer. Colo. says: dur
ing the Spanish-Amer.
ican war. l contract
ed q severe kidney
trouble. After re-
turning home. I was
under q physician's
care for months. but
grew gradually worse.
Finally I got 30 bad
I could not hold the
urine at all. I also
had = intense suffer
ing from back pains.
Doan's Kidney Pills
m a de improvement
from the first, and
soon I was we'll and
Rtrong"
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27
Embarrassino.

I'll have to get another typewriter"
said the bustling man. This one Is
constantly stopping my dictation to
ask how some word is spelled"
That's a great loss OF time"
Il don't mind the time. but it inter-
feres with discipline for me to have
to keep saying | don't know."-Wash.
ington Star
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27
A Reminder,

Querierly-Did you enjoy your voy-
age around Cape Horn?
Lukbacher-No;i it reminded me too
much OF one OF my boyhood days.
Querierly-One Of your boyhood
days?
Lukbacher-Yes. the day when
smoked my first cigar. Chicago
News.
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27
What Accounted for II,

Bad Debt Collector want to see
your husband
Housewife-He's out of town.
Bad Debt Collcctor-That accounts
for 1t. just saw him through the
window and | noticed he had a far.
away look.-Brooklyn Life,
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27
Sarcasm In the Box.

Judge-Then when your wife seized
the weapon you ran from the house?
Plaintiff-Yes. sir.
Judge-But she might not have used
II.
she picked up the flatiron just to
smooth things over.-Boston Tran.
script.
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27
Oespisery.

Little Girl-Mother, that's such a
nasty little boy; whenever he passes
me he makes a face.
Mother-very rude of him. l hope
you don't do II back
Little Girl-Oh. dear. no! I simply
turn up my nose and treat him with
desDiSery
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27
Not Our lanouaoe.

Your wife says your Youngest baby
can talk.
Yes" answered Bliggins, with a
slight hesitation. But he appears to
take naturally to something like vola.
puk or esperanto. nto."-Washington Star.
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27

AD." said Jack. at the
breakfast table. i've got
to have Q new pair of
shoes before Memorial day.
All the fellows are getting
patent leather oxfords. and
find my shoes getting
rather disreputable-worn
clear through on the
soles."
"Dad"-elsewhere known
and respected az the honor,
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27

l'sssA MZvhH%
tsNs1o ~ Ill ~
Vsaa, ,slsoA, esDa0A-
tal.ssavssSsosy ysAssD.
LasAD All Season.
haAs q nstAl ,eansss
sptll . ~ over, viiI
BOT sstlsslAlnrs s1y.
thing. 0sasaDsss1 Il.
fssuvs. OfAl1 1eslsW
Or ssat prspeA for ~.
HAROLD eoHKno
1n DsEAn Ave.
DsssAfN Hsv TS6
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27
A NoveIty.

BarEer-l've an absolutely new idea
In insurance.
Parker-Elucidate.
Barker-A scheme whereby alimony
will be paid both parties in case mar.
riage should prove failure.-lllus.
trated Sunday Magazine.
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27
II Made No Difference.

Congressman Ransdale OF Louisiana.
recently told story OF Alec Trimbie.
the valet and factotum OF a physi'
clan in New Orleans. who took fan
cy TO one of the summer shirts OF his
master, and finally went and bought
one exactly like 1t. He showed 1t to
his mistress. who said that he had
done wrong. as the two shirts might
get mixed In the washing: and Alec
answered.:
It'd make no difference. missus,
cause deys both alike in size an
price,
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27
Uncle Ezra SAYS.

Some folks stir up hornets nest
Jest SOS the next feller who comes
erlong will get stung. Her
aid.
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27

Remember the name-Doan's.
For sale by all dealers. 80 cents q
box. Foster-Milburn Co, Buffalo, N. T
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27
A soLoIER's EXPERIENCE.

Hardships Of Army Life Brought On &
severe Case Of Kidney Trouble.
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27
In washinQton.

THAT fellow seems to be extrava.
CANT"
"Hopelessly. Spends his own money
Just as II 1t were the governments."-
Kansas City Journal.
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27

Put up with sarcasm-don't practise
It.
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27

Or. Pieree's Pellets. ANAL, sug.r-eoatrd. easy 2
take = candy regulate and lnviyofnto htOtnacA
liver and bowels. lo not grpe.
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27

Farmers and washladies get their
living from the soil.
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27

A mustard plaster can always be
depended upon to do something smart.
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27

Mrs. L. !. Terary-Mrs. Wise has
given up her club.
Mrs. IZit Soe-Why?
Mrs. l.. !. Terary-Every time she
went to meeting her husband moved
the furniture In the parlor all around.
The Ordway new era., 1910-05-27

B0N l. INK peg; nGaier II ai kinds of MER-
log mailed free. Cor. 10th n Blake. Denver.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1910-03-09
LETTER
From J. c. COOHS, In Missouri
Death of kentuCkianS.

Near Hallsville, No. Feb. 26, 10.
Mt. Sterling Ky. Advocate:
Grounding month out. Two
light showers of rain, s light
SHOWS, abouts24 inches all told.
Mean temperature, 10 degrees.
Peaches alive yet. The ground
being frozen so deep, and the cold
is here to stay late in the spring.
we can reasonably expect a good
fruit crop this year. No blowing
here yet. First crop of ice on
ponds yet. Feed holding out
good. Very little mud this win
ter, consequently stock has win
tered well.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1910-03-09

BE u Ordained by the Mayor and
city Council Of the CITY Of Mt,
Sterling, hy.:
That it shall be unlawful for any
person to sell, lend, give, procure
for or furnish spirituous, vinous
or malt liquors or any mixture
thereof or either, to person while
in the custody of the City Warden
or while serving a sentence under
a judgment OF the Police Court of
the city of Mt. Sterling, KY, for
a violation Of any of the city ordi-
nances of Mt. Sterling, KY, or of
the Statutes of the State of Ken
lucky, and for a violation thereof
the person or persons so offending
shall be arrested and tried for IA
misdemeanor and upon conviction
shall be fined not less than five nor
more than fifty dollars for each
Otfense.
This ordinance shall take effect
from and after its passage and
publication as required by law.
w. \. SAMUELS,
Attest Mayor.
II. NJ. Rinpo. CITY Clerk.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1910-03-09

BE it -Orddined by the Mayor and
Board Of City Council Of the
City Of Mt. Sterling, Ky.
That there shall be taxed as costs
in the Police Court of Mt. Ster-
ling, KY, against the defendant
and to be paid by him upon all
judgments for a violation of the
ordinances of the city fee of 81
as the Judges fee, which shall be
for the benefit of the city; SOC for
the Chief of Police or other officer
making the arrest, and such other
fees as are chargeable against him
for board, at SOC per day in the
City Jail, the day of trial to con-
stitute and be considered in the
taxation of costs as one day, and
during which said trials all such
defendants shall be in the custody
of the City Warden. In all jury
trials the Judges fee shall be 81,
which shall be for the benefit of
the city. All other fees in INSIDE
meanor cases shall be taxed and
paid as provided by Kentucky Stat
ute.
All other ordinances or parts of
ordinances IN conflict herewith are
hereby repealed.
This ordinance shall take effect
from and after its passage and
publication as required by law.
w. 4. SAMUELS,
Attest Mayor.
H. NJ. Ringo, City Clerk.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1910-03-09
Waterproof ShInules,

Shingles are now made under Pc
.nted process from asbestos fiber an 4
portland cement. Owing to the enu
nous pressure under which the
shingles are manufactured. it is said
that they absorb, when fresh, only
about five per cent. of their weight
of water; and when exposed TO tho
atmosphere for a year or two that
hydraion and subsequent crystalliza-
ton make them absolutely impermea-
BILE.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1910-03-09
AN ORDINANCE.

IN Ordinance Prohibiting the Sell
ling, Lending, Giving, PrOCur-
ing For or Furnishing vlnOuS,
SpiTitHOuS Of Matt liquors or
Any Mixture Thereof or FL
ther, to a PerSen in Custody
of the City Warden or While
Serving a Sentence Under a
Judgment of the Police Court
of the City of Mt. Sterling,
KY, and Providing inniSh-
mCnt by a Fine For a Viola
ton Thereof.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1910-03-09
Montgomery County fair.

The Directors Of the Montgom-
cry County Fair Association have
decided upon date for the exit
bition this year: July -, ) days.
The enviable reputation of last
years performance will be main
tanned and eXcelled. Any objec-
tional feature last year will be
eliminated. 1t will he great
show.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1910-03-09
Costly Popularity,

frances cruiser Leon Gambetta Is
named after the famous politician.
who died on December 81, 1882. In the
times Of his intense popularity Gam
BETA bad an experience which he was
wont to tell against himself. In Paris
admirers unyoked his horses and
dragged the carriage to his house.
Gambetta would narrate this with an
air Of pride and he would add, with
q smile: But never saw my harseS
CYain!"
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1910-03-09
To Cut Plate Glass,

To cut a piece of plate glass II is
thought diamond cutter is necessary,
but it is not If the glass is not very
thick It can be cut with a pair Of scis-
sors, a large pair being preferable.
While cutting hold the glass beneath
half a foot or more Of water, and e
can be cut any shape desired A
round piece Of glass has been cut out
Of a good sized pane in just this man
ner. The scissors do not have 70 be
extra sharp.-Success.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1910-03-09
ICORRESPONOGNCG.I
STOOPS.

II. C. Ficklin was in Louisville
last week.
Levi Wells is recovering from
his injuries.
Walter Hamilton was at Owings-
vile Sunday.
Walter Hamilton has moved to
Clark county.
Ollie Kissick, of Bourbon, was
here last week.
Tom Warner moved here last
week from The Pocket"
Farmers made great Roadway
with their work last week.
A. $. Bridges will soon begin
the erection of a new residence.
w. E. Turner and wife visited
relatives at Millersburg last week.
Moving will be finished this
week. We have lots of new neigh
bors.
Miss Harriet Williams, of Step
stone, came Saturday to visit
relatives.
Tom Robertson bought from
Late Kissick pair of 2-yearold
mules for S3l5.
Stanley Trimble has returned
from a weeks visit to relatives
near Lexington.
Jesse Pendleton sold to VIM.
Razor, of Salt Lick, fine team Of
horses for $475.
Sherman Hamilton. of Mt. Ster-
ling, was with home folks Satur-
day and Sunday.
Jesse Pendleton bought from
VIM. Razor, of Salt Lick, pair
of 3-year-old mules for $40.
Senator Claude VI. Thomas has
been suggested for Governor.
Why not put the suggestion into
effectl
The fair weather, to some eX-
tent, checked the dying of sheep.
Sheep men have suffered a great
loss this winter.
Thos. Richardson has moved his
mill from Jeffersonville to saw a
large bill of lumber for Byrd,
Fassett & Coons. in this neighbor-
hood.
Bert Sanders was called to Pop
lar Plains Monday to attend the
funeral of his brother and also be
at the bedside of his mother who
is dangerously i'll.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1910-03-09
Modern Man and Charms.

Many a hard-headed business man
will stop to pick up a cast horseshoe
or lucky farthiEg, and is not bit
ashamed Of the hnds, but pockets them
with great satisfaction, comments he
London Crown. 1t is a fact that CIV
ilization has not improved US much
In relation 10 our quaint beliefs. and
charms and aInulets are collectabls
aud Interesting curius.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1910-03-09
Mares FOR Sale.

have five mares in my hands be-
longing to friend. He directs me
to sell them. Two are in foal to For
est Denmark, one to Sterling Chief
other two not in foal. AL have been
worked on farm, some in double
and single. harness. Some of them
saddle very well. Come and see
them. JNOT. WOODFORD. Ag't.
34-4t. Mt. Sterling, KY.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1910-03-09
Flexible Glue.

One part Venetian turpentine added
10 four pans Of que will make flex-
ihle glue to attach leather 20 metals,
says the Scientific American. The
mass is heated in a glue pot until IL
becomes sticky and no more bubbles
appear. A fresh mixture will work
best
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1910-03-09
Harm Done bv Wrono Food.

A New York skin specialist says:
Had l to choose between the cook
and the apothecary as colaborer, I
think would not hesitate for a mo-
ment to yoke myself with the former"
He goes on to say that the board
kills more than the sword" Many
people eat not only the wrong foodA
but too much Of them.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1910-03-09

II Is 10 be feared that if the papers
reserved a special corner once each
week for the witticism of the week, it
would be often left blank. There is no
wit to speak of today. only a feeble
imitation of it which people are fond
of calling the saving sense OF humor.
london SATURDAY. Review.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1910-03-09

The injury 10 commerce ana tht
amenities of life, to say nothing as tn
the lowering of the vitality Of the
people, would surely Justify some com.
bination of bounties and penalties to
aid in attaining to a higher stand
ard of purity in the air which We
breathe.--Lancet.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1910-03-09
DEATHS.

PORTS. - John Potts and his
mother, Mrs. Josh Potts, of Cen
tralia, Mo, were both buried at
Centralia.
Mr.. Josh Potts came to Two
Mile Prairie, Boone county, many
years ago from Moorefeld, KY,
but lives in Centralia now.
BRUToN.-Frank f. Bruton, of
Sturgeon, Mo-, was buried at
Centralia by the Masons and other
orders. Fine man. Ex-Council-
man and ex-Mayor of Sturgeon,
Mo-. several years ago. He was
great worker in the church and
Sunday School. His wife and
son, Frank, Jr., survive him. He
was a cousin of Enoch Bruton, OF
Mt. Sterling, Ky.
PATTON. Wife OF James II.
Patton, the great race horse man
of Sturgeon, Mo-, was buried at
Moberly, Mo. Mr. Patton died
several years ago. She had no
children. She had several hun
bred acres of land in Sturgeon.
Quite "A fortune there. The State
University of Missouri gets per
cent. in cash on all estates where
there are no bodily heirs.
KEMPER. james kemper shot
and killed himself last Friday.
He was kinfoIk of the Kempers
at Mt. Sterling. Ky. All the be-
reaved families have our sympa-
thy.
Mr.. Halley's luminary has not
shined out here vet. Some one
said it was fooling around over
about Louisville, Ky. Sidetracked
or wants office, | suppose.
JNo. G.. CoONs.