davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1910-03-17
EnaIishmen Getting Palmer.

The famous criticism, God made
him, and therefore let him pass for
man. might be applied with much
aptness to certain scraps of humanity
that one sees about in the world Of
today. For the fact must be fac ed
that men are getting distinctly plain
err Women grow taller, straighter, and
handsomer, but men seem to shrink IN
height, and to become more feeble in
form and frail in constitution. With
the upper classes this may be the re-
suit of undue luxury and of frequent
nitermarriage, which two causes are
no doubt, responsible for our some
what effete aristocracy And the siren
uous way We live may have some.
thing to say on the subject; for in
all walks of life the modern man
soon takes on careworn look that
lines his face, pinches hi slips, and
stoops his shoulders. And these signs
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1910-03-17
THE SEA SERPENT.


The sea serpent has made it's appear
ance off the Atlantic coast-News
Dispatch
Welcome stranger, glad to greet you
Where'ye you been all winter long
Soaring Filipinos may be
Or some Fiji throng?
Gladly We note your arrival
Willy old sea serpent, welcome!
Summer must be here.
We have had the Maidstone story,
AS harbinger of spring;
Tales of snakes have filled our col
But you are the real thing,
Wriggle through the daily papers,
Through non-believers jest
Long we've waited your arrival.
Now we know the summers here.
What care |, sea serpent, whether
You be real or common fake.
Creature or imagination
Or an honest, horrid snake?
Does some smooth press agent dream
you,
While he sups a pot of beer?
That care not Welcome, serpent,
Now we knowthe summers here.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1910-03-17
FACTS ABOUT NICARAGUA.

nicaragua has a population of about
100000 of whom fve-sixths dwell
upon the, Pacific slope. The eastern
side is drained by many rivers. The
chief product of this side is bananas
OF which in 1908 there were exported
l'5OO,0OO punches, vaInAd at so cents a
bunch. The town or Biuefields. has
5000 inhabitants. 1t is 1856 miles
from New Orleans and $40 miles
from Colon. Greytown. near the. mouth
of San Juan river, the proposed route
of the Nicaraguan canal, has 1000 in.
habitants.
On the populated Pacific slope
the chief cities are Leon, the historic
and interesting old capital, with co.
600 inhabitants; Managua, the pres
ent capital, with 10000; Matagalpa,
with 10000; Granada, with $4,000,
and several other towns of from
5000 to 10000.
The principal port on the Pacific
side is Corinto, near the northern
end, with only about 1000 people. At
the southern end is the harbor of San
Juan del Sur.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1910-03-17
JOSH BILLINGS PHILOSOPHY,

Ii lazyness would only spend it's
time doing nothing, it would be at
least endurable; but it il dredphul
bizzy all the time hunting for nothing.
To change ones name, politiks or
religion IL questionable spekulashun
While vanity IL the gratost weak.
ness ov wise man, it IL often the
gratest strength ov phool.
1t IL better to be abused than to be
entirely overlooked.
We kant eskape the abuse ov the
world, therefore what IL the use oy
paying emmy attenshun to it?
Experience may be a good teacher.
but she IL dredphull slo one. When
We hav learnt her lessons we are
reddy to die
Fear liz the wust frined than emmy
man kan hav.
He whom yu kan flatter WI kan
cheat at yure leizure.
Mems failings often prokure them
az mulch luv as their virtews do re-
spekt
| kan point out lots ov pepole who
are virtewous simply because they
don't happen to be wicked.
We kan hav no crater proof ov the
vanity ov all kreashun than the fakt
that every one luvs more to be
praised for what they haven't got
tnan they do for what they hav got.
Americans are the most phoolish
ov all drinkers; they drink simply
for the sake ov getting drunk.
do luv bizzy man. A bizzy man
IL allwuss suckcessful, and generally
honest.
Abuse IL allwuss safer than fiattery.
Abuse will often make a man git I'm
and get, while fiattery allwuss makes
him sit down and set.
Contentment il not happiness. but it
IL within 20 per cent ov it-as near
as mortals ever git.
The true test ov virtew IL the
amount ov temptashun that a man
mas gone thru to git it. and the
amount he kan stand to keep it.
1t IL but just one step from cunning
10 knavery, and cunning men are all
Wuss watching for a safe chance to
| take it.
There wouldn't be more than half
the phools in this world that we see
II mankind would only akt natral.
Nobody ever found fame vet and
Kept 1t very long who waz allwuss
| the only way to ketch a fiirt and to
| hunting after it. Fame IL a f1irt. and
| hang onto her, IL either to stand still
Or run the other way.
Ihere isn't single one ov the
pashuns, however bad it may be- but
what IL usepRull to us if only handled
right.
A mule is the only kritter amung
the domestik animiles that doesn,r
kno the difference between prase and
abuse.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1910-03-17

every one of the 10000 is prepared
for college. The $3.50 will be wage
earners and homemakers are entirely
neglected.
For example, says Miss Eggleston:
Helen's school has not made work
popular, so today Helen has several
ideas firmly implanted in her BRAN.
First, education offers a sure escape
from domestic work, which is of all
work the most mental. Second, the
woman who has an income of her
own is more independent than the
woman who makes a home for man
who provides the income, therefore
she is to be emulated. Third, the
simplest method of acquiring ones
own income is to seek work in the
commercial or Industrial world.
Right here we find Helen destined
to become the victim of sex compe.
tition. Helen does not know this,
but in time she pays the price of the
conditions. When Billy Smith. her
ex-classmate, goes to work in store
or office, she goes with him, perhaps
working elbow to elbow. Before long
Billy Smith discovers that if there
were not so many 'Helens' in his line
OF work, earning just enough to pay a
mother some board and meet dress.
making and millinery bills, he would
receive more salary and secure pro-
motion sooner
Unless Billy was very much in
love with Helen while in school. the
breach between them widens. Helen
IS proud of her equality with Billy at
the office or store, but Billy resents
Helen's interference with his earning
capacity and his future. Helen is no
longer matrimonial possibility in
Bllly's eyes. She has become a busl
ness rival. And If Helen has been Sc.
cretly nursing any affection for Billy.
she soon faces the realization that
this dream is over. But she does not
know why. For all her education.
Helen is less the woman, less the Eve.
less subtle than her mother was be.
fore her.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1910-03-17
SOCIETY PEOPLE
TAKE TO AVIATION

Newport, r. l., March 9.-Newport
society will go in for flying this sum
mer, according to Wilbur Wright OF
Dayton. aeroplanist, who arrived yes
terday. Wright made, arrangements
for the establishment of airship head
quarters in Newport during The sum-
mer and said he intended to bring a
dozen machines, many of which have
already been sold to members of the
summer colony.
Wright purposes to have a large
field where he and assistants will
make fights and instruct new owners
in the use of machines.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1910-03-17

$4,000 year from it, provided he did
not desert hl5 wife
For two years, he alleged, the COM
pany had failed to pay him after the
couple departed. He contended that
he had not deserted his wife and
sued to be reinstated in cotnrol of his
property. The court later gave to
him part control of it. Previous to
this he had squandered his property
while taking choral and drinking,
and he was later committed by the
court to Bloomingdale, from which
institution he soon was released. AT
about this time his sister, Lady Mary
Falkland of England, sued to have
him removed as executor of her es-
tate. Reade, who was about 62 years
old, was the son of Robert Reade.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1910-03-17
Woman's Relief Corps News
Edited by Cora E Harris Evansville

rebellion, as the characters repre-
sented We're, as far as possible, at
tired in the costumes of bygone days.
Among those represented were Mar
tina Washington, Betsey Ross and her
original flag, Mother Angela with her
original flag, Mother Angela with sew
eral OF her associate Sisters of Char
ity, Mother Bickerdyke and other
nurses, and a goOdly number of the
female flowers of the Chippewa tribe
of Indians in gorgeous array After
the singing of America Mrs. Chad
wick read a Sketch Of Lincoln Briel
recitals followed by those in cos
tunes, of work done by women dur
ing the war. The Indian maidens
gave spirited drill to music, which
was admirably executed, and much
enjoyed Mrs. Ogden gave reading
in her inimitable manner, and Mes
danes McMillen, Wolfe and Imig sang
several songs. Refreshments were
served.
Ft. Atkinson Relief corps is in a
fiourishing state and constantly in
creasing in numbers, having nearly
doubled it's membership in the last
year-Mrs. Elizabeth McGuinness,
press correspondent
FOND DU LAC.
The members of the W. R. c. and
post at Fond du Lac duly celebrated
Washington's birthday. After patrl.
otto program, supper was served, the
ladies assisting being in colonial cos
tune. The regular meeting of the
corps was also held and several ap-
plications for membership were re-
ceived. A series of card parties will
be given to help replenish the trea-
sury.
EAU CT ARE.
Eagle Relief corps No. 20. Eau
Claire, with the post as its guests,
celebrated Washington's birthday:
also the birthdays OF five OF its mem
bers that occurred during the month
Of February, Comrade L. A. Brace
reading selection on the life OF
Washington. Refreshments were
served and quotations placed at each
plate were read
HIGHLAND CENTER.
w. III. Bennett, corps, aided by a
class of school children under Miss
Gunderson's tutelage, honored Wash
ington's birthday anniversary in a
manner BETTING the occasion The
program was varied and interesting
The songs and recitations of the
small people were excellent, while
music on the violin and organ, with
readings and recitations by members
Of the corps filled out the program
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1910-03-17
FORAKER ATTACKS
CORPORATION TAX
SAYS LAW is INDEFINITE m
TERMS AND uNcoNsTL
TUTioNAl.
MANY BRIEFS FILED IN oPPosl.
TloN-HEARINGs SOON
TO BE HAD.

washington, March 10.-The attack
on the constitution of the corporation
tax doomed into prominence yester.
day when brief after brief in opposi.
ton to the law was filed in the su.
preme court, Final argument OF the
cases involving the question is set for
next week. Prominent among these
was the brief of former Senator Jo-
seph B. Foraker, of Ohio, solicitor for
Louis W. Jared, stakeholder in the
American Multigraph company of
Cleveland, who seeks to have the
company enjoined from paying tax
on the ground that it is unconstitu.
tional. A brief also was filed for Os.
car Mitchell against the Clark Iron
company of Minnesota: for joseph f
Gay against the Baltic Mining com
pany.
Mr.. FORAKER says that the indefin.
lteness of the language employed in
the corporation tax provision of the
Payne-Aldrich tariff law makes it diff.
ficult to ascertain just what the tax
is. The debate in the senate over the
provisions, he suggests, warrants the
assertion that the ambiguous charac,
ter of the provision" is due to an eff
fort to bring it within the courts iur-
isdiction.
He says it is clear that the trainers
Of 1t intended to provide corporation
income tax without laying it on the
income.
IF the tax be on the corporation as
SUCH" he adds. because of the ad.
vantages supposed to attach to cor
porate organizations for business pur.
poses, 1t should be the same for all
corporations of the same capital and
the same class, but it Is not the same
and cannot be the same for all unless
the impossible result of equal incomes
from all sources has been realized"
Ii it is a tax on the franchise of the
corporation, the senator contends, 1t
violated the implied provision of the
constitution that no state should tax
any fundamentally of federal gov
eminent, nor should congress tax any
instrumentality of state government.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1910-03-17
GREEN BAY.

1hEEN DAIs
The corps at Green Bay is in a
prosperous condition, at its next meet
ing four ladies will be initiated. Al
the last meeting members of the post
were invited to supper. A short mu
steal and literary program was given
and cards were played
oMRO.
Recently the corps gave a supper
which was attended by an unusually
large crowd, and good-sized sum
was added to the treasury. Afterward
a fine literary and musical program
was rendered by both old and young
Rev. Mr. Woodward gave excellent
remarks on Lincoln.
EVANSVILLE.
Department Commander W. H
Grinnell of Beloit, and Adjutant Gen
eral w. J. Mckay of Madison, gave
excellent talks to the members of the
post and corps at Evansville, ON a
recent evening. At the close refresh
ments were served and social time
was enjoyed with the honored guests
OSHKOSH.
The members of Phil H. Sheridan
post, and corps fittingly celebrated
the anniversary of the birth of Wash.
ington. A patriotic program was given,
consisting of readings, vocal and in
strumental music W. C. Kimball
gave an interesting address on the
Z first president
EDGERToN.
The members of the w. R. c., with
the members of the G. A. R., and
numerous friends as guests, common
Grated Washington's birthday. A $50
dinner was served in their hall, which
was decorated with the national col
ors. Little hatchets, cherry trees
and cherry pies predominated. Fol
lowing the repast, a pleasing program
was given consisting of patriotic
songs, recitations and papers A pa
per was read on the life of Lincoln.
Master Rollin Williams represented
Washington in a descriptive recita-
ton. A. B. Campbell gave an inter
esting talk of his life as a prisoner
in Andersonville. The H. S. Swift
posts annual campfire was we'll at
tended. Supper was served, and a
program of patriotic songs, recfta-
tions and addresses followed. De-
partment Commander Grinnell of Be-
lott gave an address, as did also W.
J. Mckay of Madison.
FORT ATKINSON.
The Atkinson w. r. C. held a ses-
sion in honor of Lincoln. 1t was
mostly a series of "reminiscences OF
the wars of the revolution and of the
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1910-03-17
4 RECOLLECTION OF ENGLAND.

Governor Marshall OF Indiana
When / was two years old, my mothei
being Ill with a malady of the lungs
we left New Manchester, in this state
and moved west in covered wagon.
My father said that life in the open
air was good for consumption. He was
a competent and successful physician
and a temperance orator Of wide repr
tation. We stopped at Champaign, III
My uncles came and opened a dry
goods store and my father practiced
his profession. I heard the debate be-
tween Lincoln and Douglas at the
town of Freeport, sitting on Lincoln's
lap while Douglas spoke and on Doug
las lap while Lincoln spoke. only
recollect that one man was tall and
the other short, and that the short man
irritated me by patting the top of my
head.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1910-03-17

are no doubt the result of hustle, of
our getting -rich-quick methods, and
of the storm and stress of present-day
competition. Also, no doubt, of wrong
food, too much smoking and the rapid
rate of up-to-date locomotion.
Handsome men are of course still
to be found but no one can deny that
they are in decided minority. The
men one sees about are too often
short and stunted, pale and puny;
and this applies in equal measure to
the golden youth one meets at balls
and parties, to shopmen behind coun-
tiers, and, sad to say, to the wearers
of naval and military uniforms. One
and all are on the down grade as re-
CARDS appearance; and this is triste,
as our forbears left us a rich legacy
in the way of health, strength, and
bodily perfection. The Celts gave
dark eyes and hair and bright com.
plexion; also a soft voice, quick but
graceful movements, and the added
charm of vivid intellect. The Anglo.
Saxon supplied blue eyes, fair hair
and skin, straight features, and vast
powers of endurance. And We owe a
debt to our Danish invaders for they
left us their great height, fine forms,
and splendid physique. Anyone who
saw the Danish athletes at the Olym.
pic games of 1908 can bear witness to
the truth of this statement. Then, if
old portraits can be trusted, English
| men were taller and handsomer a
century ago than they are in this year
OF grace 1909. Perhaps-like other
nations before us-we have now, as
regards make and muscle, to pay the
price of an ultra civilization-Mr
Fitzroy Stewart in Strand.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1910-03-17
Absent-Minded.

An English paper says that the
champion absentminded man lives
at BALKAN. On one occasion he called
upon his old friend, the family ply
stefan After a chat of a couple or
hours the doctor saw him to the
door and babe him good night, say
ing:
Come again. Family all well, l
suppose?'
my heavens" exclaimed the abb
sent-minded beggar, that reminds
me of my errand. My wife Is In a
fit,"-London News.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1910-03-17
OBSERVATIONS ON MARS.

There is no life ON Mars" says
Professor Campbell of the Lick Obser.
vatory. Then who the dickens was 1t
dug those canals? Is Mars palming or
bogus canals On us?-Kansas City
Journal.
Mars Is coming after us red-eyed In
company with the astronomers, he has
been making a night of it.-Atlanta
Constitution.
The canals of Mars are disappear
ing. Evidently the people there didn't
wish our astronomers, who can't
agree among themselves, to explore
them.-Springfield Republican.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1910-03-17
ROBERT |. READE.

One Time Husband of josie Mans
field Is Buried in New York.
Dying of stroke of aopplexy ROB-
ert L. Reade was buried in Trinity
churchyard. New York. Reade was
the husband of Josie Mansfield. on
account of whom Edward S. Stokes
shot and killed James Fish, Jr. A
divorce was granted in 1895 and a
year later he married again, a sepa-
ration soon following.
This was brought into public notice
at late rdate when Mr.. Reade sued
a trust company in New York. into
the keeping of which he had decided
in his own Behalf what remained Of
his once extensive fortune, on the
stipulation that he was to receive
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1910-03-17
WISCONSIN PATENTS

The following patents were recently
granted to Wisconsin inventors:
Luke Courtois, Appleton, brake-oper-
ating mechanism.
Frank Fl .Hoberg, Green Bay, en-
bossing attachment
Henry Fl. Julick, Mount Hope. rail
joint
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1910-03-17
Fifty Out Of 10000 Girls.

Nine thousand nine hundred and
fifty girls out of every 10000 are sac
rif1ced in our method of education, &C
cording to Katherine Eggleston in
Woman's Home Companion Out OF
every 10000 girls who enter our pr
mary schools fifty go to college, We,
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1910-03-17

eve dined at Mrs. Crankleigh S
last night" Il suppose you had a
! good dinner?" well, we found out
| that Mrs Crankleigh is an active
member of the society for boycotting
all the high-priced foodstuffs -
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Caller-HOw pleased you must be
| to find that your new cook is a slayer
Hostess-My dear, don't mention it.
She's slayer, all right, but unfortu-
nately she's not cook.-Boston Tran.
script.
Miss Goldbonds-If father should al
low us to marry, count, what would
be the outcome2 Count de Brokeski
-Ay, my dair Miss Goldbonds, Eat,
you know, would depend entirely on
re income.-Judge.
"The American Eagle" said the ora.
tor, knows no fear" Eyes," replied
Mr.. Sirius Barker, "the American
eagle is mighty lucky Any bird that
isn't good enough to eat has right
to congratulate itself these days.
Washington Star
May | kiss your beautiful baby?''
Certainly, madam. One moment
N4oh IL.
| septic gauze. Louisville Courier.
| Journal
What is the Oldest form of litera.
ture?" Il dunno, but I guess some OF
tn musical comedy jokes must reach
back pretty nearly that far. "-Cleve.
land Plain Dealer.
$50 many prize fights end with "a
blow on the jaw" 'sOf course. In
prize fighters that's the part of the
body that is overturned. "-Cleve.
| land Leader.
Doctor-Johnny, l see the pills
gave you have made you well again
How did you take them-with water
or with cake? Small JOHNNY
used them in my pop gun to shoot al
| the cat.-Chicago News.
Baron Munchausen had just heard
| of DR.. Cooks performance. "Ah," he
sighed, as he rolled over in his grave
taking has improved wonderfully
since my time on earth Detroit
Free Press.
Suffragette-What is a party with
out women? Mere Man (f1ippantly)-
A stag party. fragette-Exactly
And what, sir, would this. nation be
without women but stagnation p
Christian Register.
Wiggs-Who originated the idea
that the longest way round was the
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1910-03-17

1.-THE new Dreadnought Delaware Is
the mightiest ship in our navy" as
it? Why. then, isn't it called the
Rhode Island ?"-C Chicago Record-Her-
aid.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1910-03-17

When cob was filled with Killikin.
nick.
Puff, puff, from out the rising
cloud a clear cut circle whirs
about.)
When comrades gathered round my
tent
Old songs to sing, and tales invent,
The briar would pass-turn, turn
about
Whilst pickets kept the 'Johnnies'
out.
puff Puff
"The clay, cob, 'briar' meerschaum,
too,
May pass aWay-be lost to view;
But nothing here beneath the stars
Can stop my smoking good cigars"
Leaning back in his chair, his mind
absorbed in reverie, there comes be.
fore his mental vision, as though it
were great panorama, the eventful
scenes Of long ago: the hopes and
desires Of young manhood-the sud
den check to all business aspirations
by the reverberating boom of the
great guns at Sumter the excite
ment of all the people-the call for
troops, the rolling drum and Shrek
ing fife,-the flags flying from door
way, window and housetop-the form,
ing of companies and regiments,-the
drill,-parting from home and friends
on to the front! marching, counter
marching,-the battle,-the cap4etEe,-
the prison pen,-the escape,-perils
and hunger,-darksk friends in
time of -safety,-promotio
victory,-home sweet home,-muster
victory-muster out,-good bye to
comrades tried and true-and home,
sweet home,
''The sutler often would beguile me
With a scent smoke-price 10
times 3,
Most comfort in his pigtail twist.
with eyelids closed the clouds
arise.)
while sitting round the night camp
fire,
From mouth to mouth we passed the
briar;
The canteen, too, might smuggle in
And slyly pass from me to him.
Chin to chin-um, yum. yum
'The meerschaum now holds firm the
Bowl filled to brim with durham
bull;
But who can feel the slightest jar
While smoking-free-a good cigar
puff, puff, letting the smoke glide
away in regulated volume, he re
sumes.)
While all these events are passing
in review, cloud follows cloud, rising
in swift pursuit. From a peculiar
motion of the lips, circle follows circle,
and circles within circles rise, swing,
sway and swirl about as though the
fairies were dancing in frolicsome
glee.
Reflection,
who may chide a civil war, merry
old vet,
For chatting and smoking to his
hearts content,
For in smoking and chatting he calls
in review
War scenes of the past he hopes
ne'er will renew.
will the time ever come?
Yea, the time will soon come
When these deeds will be told
BY the sire to the son
Of the men brave and bold
Who faltered at nothing
Neither heat nor the cold
Nor the field, march or camp
Nor the suff'ring untold
In the prison pen horrid.
None could shake Or subtle
The courage of boys
Who, dressed in the blue.
Had left their home comforts,
Their families friends