The San Francisco call., 1910-02-27


.HE father of all the gods-so says
the heather fable-wanted to
. eat his children 1t is different
with Uncle SANS official family,
:" : :" :" :: :: : :: !" : :" : :: :: !:
where the children would deyour
g each other like the cats OF Kill
3 XY kenny. Bearing his commission
: you will find tinker. tailor, sol
dier, sailor gentleman, pow
man. thief all eager to prey one OH the others.
The other day the farmers of the agricultural
department, not content with owning the earth
and the fullness thereof, proposed that likewise
they would rule the waves. In fine, they wanted
10 steal Jerry Burnetts job. Lieutenant Burnett,
i s n. like the sweet little chcrub that sits up
aloft watches over the safety OF poor Jack Again,
ike Dayy Jones, he measures the bottom of the
sea and tells mariners the time OF day by dropping
ball on the roof of the Merchants Exchange.
i was sad day for sailors when the earthquake
twisted the rod that guides the ball into the
semblance OF whip For months the sfipman,
bereft OF his official guide, philosopher and friend,
could not tell whether it was day or night
DISGUISED AS WEATHER PROPHETS
Now it appears that the official farmers throw
ing out skirmishers in the disguise of weather
prophets. are making a raid on Lieutenant Burnetts
Job That farmers should undertake the work of
making up the pilot charts is quite in accord with
the scheme of things and the division OF functions
among Uncle Sans bureaus. | have myself
sneaking kindness for the sailors and am sorry
to see them getting the worst of it all round By
this singular plan OF classification the soldiers
intrusted with the interests OF navigation and the
control of lighthouses. Colonel John Biddle com
mands the saucy Sequoia, trim as steam yacht
and footed like the wind that shakes the barley.
Major Jackson runs the gallant Sneezer, that dar-
ING skinner OF the sand bars. douses his glm and
shivcrs his timbers like an old salt Pressed by
the horse marines on one side and sore bestead
bv the farmers on the other the sailors about
ready to take to the woods You will find doctor
in command of the navy hospital ship and, | sup
pose butcher running the cold storage transport.
PHYSICIAN. HEEL THYsELF
At the present moment the United States army
is commanded by doctor and if he is competent
10 I'LL that high place why not try another doctor
10 take charge of the fleet: 1t said of
celebrated English statesman OF supreme confidence
in his own powers and qualifications that he would
be ready to take command OF feet OF battleships
at FIVE minutes notice. Something like that
appears to be the theory of our government. which
gives soldiers the care OF navigation, puts doctors
in command OF the army and colonels in charge
OF ships while now ii is proposed to convert
farmers and weather prophets into pilots and
photographers
1t is sad and perous season for the blameess
sailor OF Uncle Sans navy. Driven off the earth
bv ever encroaching bureaus of soldiers and
farmers he may finally have to take to sea in
default of that accept OF the alternatives sug-
gested TO another sort OF political martyr OF whom
i was said that he must LET his heart in silence
break or refusing to pay the high price OF saliva
ton nail the old flag TO the mast and die regular.
A JEALOUS BUREAUCRACY
This absurd and illogical confusion OF functions