The sun., 1910-06-10
'DUUMNVUS AT fHV SEASIDE
CONNERCIlL TRAVELLERS. ~
SHOULD BE SAID.

RlS Gathering aI Manhattan Beach AZ
which an Experience Nssting Il lIeld
-soulful welcome bS Mr. Mets-And
AlsO visit 10 the islands west End.
Il made you feel real lonesome, Il did.
10 be down 20 Manhattan Beach yestsr-
day afternoon There was nothing In
sight but the vide snste of waters and the
wide waist ot a lady sitting on the beach
and dO1ens of trummsS slappins each
other loudly ON the back and saying:
Welcome, Brother Rambunctsr. and how
is the negligee shirt buslnessi' The
Order of the United Commercial Travellers
Of America were assembling and dis
semhlink as tho guests u their Brooklyn
members. but the iovial laugh rasounded
not through the vast reaches Og the Man
haitian Beach Hotel. All the gayety and
sprICeness of the travelling salesmsn
were corked up in the room oil the billiard
parlor where the grand council was
having an experience meeting.
Now 10 get into this room on the bill
lard parlor you had 70 have a blue. white
and old gold porous plaster on your arm
and be able 10 shake hands in an up
lifting way. Then you gave password
and after a long time they let you In.
Once inside you took a hack seat and
listened 10 the grand past senior Rdjutant
councillor who led the exhortinE.
-Brethen.' this diEnitary would say.
we have been remiss in our duty Where.
On. where. Is the adventurous spirit Of
pioneer times? Where II the man nova
days who would not merely carry a mes-
sage but would sell bill Of goods 10
GarciAs' And other conundrums.
Then Brother Bonnet of Utica got up
and said with profound penitcnce:
I -Berthsn. feel call TO tell you my
bitter experience. was selling plumbers
supplies. We got a new head Of tho sales
department who determined to Jerk us up
Whenever a man did not make q sale he
sent telegram of one word. The tele-
gram said. Why II being al that time
not yet possible 20 send a night letter
over the wire our answers from being
incohersnt and belated dWindled away
TO no answers az all Az length one by
one we gave up the job Of selling plumbers'
sugRliea,
/
| drtImmers And whenever he sent a
Telegram, Whyr TO ons Of thee women
she merely sent back telegram, collect.
Because
/ A cheerful note was introduced by
| Brother PUN Of Bangor. Me who said
. that the patent medicine business in his
State was more eHercescent and sparkling
than ever before. Brother Brachtys of
East New York announced project for
taxing a shipload Of gas ranges 20 the
/ solomon Islands TO be sold 70 the natives
and with the usual 10 per cent N 'or
| missionaries
The experience meeting wound up with
I the singing of Only Drummer Boy
n 4 Metz. who welcomed the drum
mers earlier IN the day. did not show In
az the experience meeting. although
every one Was anxious 20 hear how 20
soil city bonds Mr. Metz presided at the
welcoming meeting because he was such
a good controller This statement 10 made
on the authority of l. , Rodier Of Brook
lyn. who wore the porous plaster and stood
on the door a. the experience meeting
and wore the badge of past senior
councillor and the badge of the Albany
bug and the Troy badge and the badge
~ the reception committee and the badge
that said he WAS from HinRhamtOn
and there was room for you Room for
you In BinghAmtOnl In making thts /
statement concerning Mr. Meta MF
Rodier said he spoke adviSedly
Inspiring was the only word for Mr. .
Metz remarks Waving his arms az the .
commercial travelling salesmen drum. 7
m"r~ he said
Welcome to our counters and Offices
4 not to our hearths and iirrsides n
We DO not make you welcome you will .
make yourselves welcome Believe me.
We welcome you for yourselves alone ana .
not for yofIT wares A. ] look over tins
saa uf faces ! can honestly say that
your samples are excellent
The drummer IA an idealisi He is no
sOrdid mAteralst. hope none ~ you
have a list. even list IT gOods Bat 10
speak seriously the drummer a an ideahst
n he gild- refined gold and paints the hly.
Why be offers q discount
The drummer is the c0nservator ~ the j
hunanities His IA the voice ~ ore cry
ing In the wilderness and making stra ght
the waybill He was tho man 10 nut rail
roaiing on q business hasls m this country.
He Introduced and perfected the art
Of committing He advanced science
The scientist. observing the mass of man
kind staid. immoyahle and Observing the
drummer rushing madly 10 and fro. dis
covered by analogy the atomic theory
Gentlemen. YOU are the welcOmciest peo-
pie on earth
The drummers acclaimed Mr. Mety.
who did not mind u. having had eVperi-
ence of public hfe before he took the
Riant coaster a. Brighton Beach for home
The drummers all had supper and went
over 10 Dreamland last night Their
porous plasters admitted them free where
skins on all the live alligatOrs and crocO-
diles in Alligator Joe's were placed In the
hands " the drummeTH io be sold hy them
The drummeFs also gave many useful
hints to tho barkers on how to make
people bite.
After Dreamland most of the drummer
drifted over 10 Luna Park. Here they
rode in the Airahip 10 Mars. but no sales
were reportad from the planet