davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18
LEG A MASS OF HUMOR

about seven years ago a small
abrasion appeared on my right leg
just above my ankle. 1t irritated me
so that ] began to scratch it, and it
began to spread until my leg from my
ankle to the knee was one solid scale
like scab. The irritation was always
worse at night and would not allow
me to sleep, or my wife either, and 1t
was completely undermining our
health / lost fifty pounds in weight
and was almost out of my mind with
pain and chagrin as no matter where
the irritation came, at work, on the
street or in the presence Of company,
the blood running down into my shoe.
l simply cannot describe my suffer
ing during those seven years. The
pain, modification, loss of sleep, both
to myself and wife is simply inde-
scribable on paper and one has to ex-
perience it to know what it is.
II tried all kinds OF doctors and rem
edies but I might as well have thrown
my money down sewer. They would
dry up for little while and fill me
with hope only to break out again just
as bad If not worse. I had given up
hope of ever being cured when l was
induced by my wife to give the Cuti-
cura Remedies trial. After taking
the Cuticura Remedies for little
while I began to see change, and
after taking dozen bottles of Cuti-
cura Resclvent in conjunction with
the Cuticura Soap and Cuticura Oint-
ment, the trouble had entirely disap-
peared and my leg was as fine as the
day / was born. Now after lapse Of
six months with no signs of a recur-
renee / feel perfectly safe in extend
ing to you my heartfelt thanks for the
good the Cuticura Remedies have done
for me. I shall always recommend
them to my friends. w. H. White,
312 E. Cabot ST., Philadelphia, Pa, Feb.
4 and Apr. 10, 1909"
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18

to-daya well woman. Mrs. WILLIAM
AHRENs, 9S8 w. 21st ST., Chicago, Ill.
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound, made from native roots and
herbs, contains no narcotics or harm
full drugs, and to-day holds the record
yor the largest number of actual cures
Of female diseases Of any similar medi-
cine in the country, and thousands of
voluntary testimonials are on file in
The Pinkham laboratory at Lynn,
Mass, from women who have been
cured from almost every form of
female complaints, Inflammation, I'LL
ceration; displacements, fibroid tumors,
Irregularities, periodic pains, backache,
Indigestion and nervous prostration.
Every such suffering woman owes it to
herself to give Lydia e. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound a trial.
If you would like special advice
about your case write a confiden-
tial letter to Mrs. Pinkham, at
Lynn, Mass. Her advice is free,
and always helpful.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18
Keeping II Dry.

An old woman of a wealthy New
Jersey family was going visiting. The
coachman, who had not been in this
country long, had just been equipped
with a new uniform and a new silk
hat. Before they had gone far it be-
gan to sprinkle, and the old woman
told the coachman to fasten down the
side curtains of the wagonette.
He drove up to a hitching post be-
side the road and. dismounting, hung
his new hat on the post. and began to
fasten the curtains.
The old woman noticed his bare head
and asked him where his hat was.
"Oi took it off me head, mum, so as
it wouldn't get wet" the coachman re-
piled.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18
Quotation Marks.

Senator Beverage, in an after
dinner speech in Cleveland, said of a
corrupt politician
'The mans excuse is as absurd as
the excuse that a certain minister Of
fered on being convicted of plagiar.
ism.
Brethren said this minister, II
is true that 1 occasionally borrow for
my sermons, but l always acknowl-
edge the fact in the pulpit by raising
two fingers at the beginning and two
at the end of the borrowed matter,
thus indicating that it is quoted"
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18
a Eittinn DESIGN.

81 want an estimate on 10000 letter
heads" said the Professionalism
man with the silk hat
"Any special design" asked the en-
graver.
Yes, sir" replied the caller. 'In
the upper left-hand corner l want a
catchy cut of Patrick Henry making
his memorable speech, and in dis
tinct letters, under the cut, his soul
inspiring words, Give me liberty OF
give me DEATH You see," he added
handing a card to the engraver, I'm
a divorce lawyer, and want some
thing fitting "-Lippincott's
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18
Ono Side ENOUGH.

Senator William Alden Smith tells
of an Irish justice of the peace out
in Michigan. In trial the evidence
was all in and the plaintiffs attorney
had made long and very eloquent
argument, when the lawyer acting for
the defense arose.
What are you doing?" asked the
justice, as the lawyer began.
Going to present our side of the
case"
Il don't want to hear both sides ar
gued. 1t has a tindency to confuse
the coort. -Washingtonian.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18

chair for % weeks. So intense was
the pain when l moved that / thought
would pass away. The kidney action
was irregular and the secretions
scalded. Three doctors gave me no
relief. Doan's Kidney Pills cured me.
and for ten years the cure has been
permanent"
Remember the name-Doan's. For
sale by all dealers. 80 cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co.. Buffalo, N. Y.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18
Advice.

Doctor" called little Bingle, over
his telephone, my wife has lost her
voice. What the dickens shall do?"
why" said the doctor, gravely, IF
were you I'd remember the fact when
Thanksgiving day comes around. and
act accordingly"
Whereupon the doctor chuckled as
he charged little Bingle 81 for profess
sional services.-Harper's Weekly.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18

tors said / could not
get well unless I
had an operation.
Il knew I could not
stand the strain of
one, so I wrote to
you sometime ago
about my health
and you told me
what 10 do. After
taking Lydia E.
|Pinkham's Vegeta-
bic Compound and
Blood Purifier T am
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18
Another tradition Exploded.

Two Englishmen were resting at the
One of them discovered a print pic
turing low tumbling building under
meath which was printed: ''The House
In Which Shakespeare Was Born. "
Turning to his friend in mild surprise
he pointed to the print. His friend ex-
hibited equal surprise, and called a
waiter, who assured them of the &C
curacy of the inscription.
"'Pon my word" said the observ-
ing Englishman, shaking his head du-
biously, II thought he was born in a
mangeri" success Magazine.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18
The Summer Girl.

How'd you like to be engaged to a
millionaire"
II was engaged to one all last sum-
mer, and he seldom spent dime
want to be engaged to a young man
who is down here for two weeks with
about $500 in his roll"
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18
Opinions Aired.

Were the commencement exercises
interesting?"
Every. The time was divided be-
tween advice from public men on the
selection of career and suggestions
from graduates on how to run the
government"
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18

soreness and urinary
troubles. These are
the warnings - ma
lures signals for
help. Doan's Kid
ney Pills should be
used at the first
sign.
A. Treitlein, "a
Rosett ST., New Ha-
ven, Conn.,, says: II
was propped up in a
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18

A survey is to be made of Big Black
river, with the view of increasing its
navigability. This move on the part
of the government will remedy things
wonderfully for the people along this
river, as it is believed that small craft
could run up this river number or
months in the year, through a fertile
and heretofore unreached country by
riparian route.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18
Mississippi News /
0UD00 D0DDUD

The executive board of the tri-coun-
W fair, composed of DeSoto, Pamela
and Tate counties, have issued the
list of premiums to be awarded at the
fair this fall. The list is a liberal one
and embraces premiums for the best
agricultural products, such as best
stalk of cotton, corn, hay, syrup, etc.
Liberal premiums are offered for the
best household products, best of fruits,
jellies, cakes, bread, etc. The depart
ment of live stock and poultry comes
in for a good share of the premiums.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18
Gallant.

Shelf l we're man, should ney-
er marry.
He-If you were man. should
never marry.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18

Red, Weak, Weary, watery Eyes:
Relieved BY Murine Eye Remedy. Try
Murine For Your Eye Troubles. You Will
Like Murine. 1t Soothes. soc at Your
Druggists. Write For Eye Books. Free.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18

One of the first necessities of our
life is that we grow upward like men.
When we cease to aspire we deGcend
in the scale.-Freston.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18
At the Shore.

Polly-I wonder how Cholly mar
ages to keep that wide-brimmed stray
on in a wind like this.
Dolly-Vacuum pressure.-Judge.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18
Included Her.

"Why did she get angry at the
stranger in town."
"She asked him if he had seen her
daughter and he answered that he
had seen all the sights of the place"
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18

Man will have what he desires, and
will find what is really best for him,
exactly as he honestly seeks it
Froude.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18

Hicks CAPUDINE is the best remedy-re
lieves the aching and feverishness-cures the
Cold and restores normal conditions. It's
liquid-effects Immediately. 10c., 25c., and SOC
At drug stoSes.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18

DR.. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets regulate
and invigorate stomach, liver and bowels
Sugar-coated, tiny granules, easy to take,
Do not grippe.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18
TO DRIv

TO DRIVE OUT MALARIA
AND BUILD Up THE SYSTEM
Take tho Old Standard GROVES TASTELES
CHILL TONIC. You know what you are taking.
showing 1t is simply Quinine and Iron in a taste
less fern The Quinine drives out the malaria
and the Iron builds up the system. Sold by all
dealers for 30 years. Price 90 cents
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18
NATURES SIGNALS.

The first indication of kidney dis
order is often backache. Then comes
pain In the hips and sides, lameness,
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething. softens the gums, reduces infiamma-
ton, allays pain, cures wind collie, Csc bottle.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18
OWES
HER
LIFE TO
Lydia e. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound

Chicago, Ill-"I was troubled with
falling and Inflammation, and the doc
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18
Game,

The Creditor-Will you pay this bill
now, or never?
The Debtor-Mighty nice of you to
give me my choice, old scout. /
choose never.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18

Better a nagless wife than horse
less carriage.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18

The lamb that plays, around mint
bed tempts fate.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18

Over two thousand people attended
the rally and barbecue at Shaw. The
speakers were Senator Leroy Percy
and Gov. Noel, on politics, and Prots.
Fox, Smith and Markham on diverslil-
cation. Gov. Noel made an interesting
talk of state affairs, and paid his re
spects to the contingent fund muddle
and Bilbo. Hon. Leroy Percy made
strong and forceful address touching
on state and national affairs.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18

Many a man who stops to thinl
twice fails to act once.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18
Facts Concerning Central Female College +

fdCES UUEEGEIMEEg JENE1d1 FGIa1G UUEFSEG ALABAMA
l.
The faculty
No cliques or secre In I'm
e. y a o
more a
rtments Of The
In of
IS it's
s
w. OF Is
l.. each nus be a
to
to satsf n
s.
J.
owlI and o
of
emil s.
f.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18

Men are always betting that their
sins will not find them out
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18

State superintendent ]. N. Powers
addressed a large crowd of normal
students and citizens of Winona. His
address, which was along the lines OF
practical and industrial education, was
listened to with interest by the audi
ence. superintendent Powers is max
ing untiring efforts to carry out the
excellent scheme of education which
he has formulated since assuming his
responsible position.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18
GGoRe0
6Ak@R-
absent-mind-

jack should say so! I've known
him to telephone to his Office and ask
If he was in.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18

The rural mail carriers of the. 4th
congressional district of Mississippi
met at West Point and they had a
number of speakers for the occasion.
Among others, the Hon. Earl Brewer,
who is a candidate for governor, delly-
cred speech that was non-political
and was strong appeal to the boys to
remain in the country and keep out OF
the densely populated cities.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18

DR.. Leathers lectured at Bonneville
on tuberculosis, typhoid fever, hook
worm and other germ diseases. His
lecture was illustrated, showing how
the germs were conveyed to the hui
man system by the fly, the mosquito
and the accumulation of filth around
the home.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18

Henry Forster was instantly killed
and his head crushed into mutilated
mass of flesh, bone and brains, by his
head becoming caught between the
freight elevator and concrete beam
in the Valley Dry Goods Store at
Vicksburg.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18

Adams county will save $9,326 on its
public road contracts in the next two
years. The contracts for the five dis
tricts were awarded to five different men
out of ten competitive bidders. Roughly
estimated, the five contracts will total
SIC, 944 for the two years, which is So
326 less than the public road work cost
during the last two years.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18

vicksburg Campaign against cattle
ticks opened in this county Monday,
when G. M. Famous, the state expert, ar
rived here take charge of the force ap-
pointed by the county
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1910-08-18

Yazoo City.-An attempt by an UNI
known miscreant to poison the family
of DIR. j. b. Taylor, of this city, resulted
in the desperate illness of Miss Roberts,
of Jackson, guest of the family, whose
life was saved by prompt and heroic ac-
ton on the part of Dr. Taylor, who
CHANGED to be at home at the time. A
quantity of corrosive sublimate, deadly
poison, had been put in the water cooler.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1910-05-06
Grit and Gold

has been stated previous articles that TO the young
starting n life ways open lie can become .
mere position holderwagecarnc narrowly hmtea
future ensavcd and circumstance or with backing
Of nd enternrse become independent of the rulers
OF the nation in broad We have also stated that inc
times remarkably propous Tor entering upon
this last named career. Why2
First throughout the Middle West and Pacific Coast region
there extraordinary number Of opportunities for starting
new businesses and growing up with them Tor breaking into
young businesses with surety securing profstay interest
therein include opportunities acquire part Of the
millions being opened through irrigation by the govern
ment for cultivation
Secondly the time TO borrow money to bet on ones
own BRAIN Drawn and grit
In the past decade supply Of gold Tour standard Of
values has almost doubled Experts estimate that the supply Is
now increasing steadily the OF approximately per cent
per And the increase grow Thus far only the
smmngs have taken from the Alaskan deposits The
mother ods still practices fly untouched The same largely
the Australian territory Mineraogisis expecting
Canada add vastly the production The annual IN
crease in production gold up 10 per before
many years
This all means that gold is depreeating rapidly Think
for a minute Of the mighty significance Of this
The creditor class in this country IS not composed mainly
OF the h a the smaller bondhoders the dcpostors Of
savings banks and patrons companies These
the holders Of the gold this commodity which already
depreeang the Of perhaps per cent per aunum
The poor fellow who 20 years ago paid his first premium
2Oyear endowment policy and has been devong his savings
TO annual premiums today only Of gold
which has purchasing power hall Of iha, he paid the
insurance company.
The who today buys per cent bond viii in the
future nominal per interest but he may actually
during 10 20 years receive interest at all by
reason OF the depreciation in purchasing power Of gold
weakening standard.
TO put in homely way. banks, bond sellers, insurance
companies all borrowing basis that will not
be hall big quarter big. when Tor liquidation
comes.
You can see that Il exceptionally good time for the
youth with health aud grit determined to be his own
boss cant yous
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1910-05-06
SOCIALISTS BUSY;
JUDGE IN EGYPT
While orosseup Sails the Nile
Their 10 . Fine Scalp Hunt
On in Washington.

WASHINGTON. May 8 Sub.
scribers and supporters Of the
Appeal to Reason the Socialist
paper published weekly a. Girard.
Raa, are rejoicing NJ the action
taken recently b. Representative
A j SABBATH % Illinois in intro
ducina q resolution ln congress
asking Tor an investigation ~ the
methods Of handling receiycrshipa-
In the federal courts Socialists
feel that the investigation 81 the
federal Judges asked for comes AZ
a elimar 70 a series Of disclosures
the Kansas publication has been
making q the private and public
career of United States Judge
Peter = 0roascup
SABBATH says that II Il could b.
shown 20 him that the Chicago
juFist bad done things which var.
raufod Impeachment proceedings
he would press the resolution al
ready introduced The Appeal 70
Reason declares u Possesses the
proof ~ corruption on tbs part Of
Judge orosacup. and that. n con.
Eresaional investigation Is ordered.
IL viii pfoduca that proof
The Appeal 70 Reason began the
publication ~ a series Of stories.
disclosing what II declared was Tho
private and public career o. Judge
GrosEcnp. Ia The latter part Of Jan.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1910-05-06
On FamILIAR pARAsEs S.

Reader I'm Tired o. 'keen
rivalry
Impossible. said the Constant
Writer impaiianliy Keen rtwhi.
~ il In our kii Of edged tools.
arsoug them being nerves
which are always on edge sAr.
egam. Which ls always casiips /.
thrunts. which are always 'FaEAer.
nks': shrieks. which are always
piercing. Wit. which 10 always "
claive. probe. which Is aIwayaAfn.
serted. and lancet. which IL always
a 'surgeon'a' Ny dear man. your
question IL prepostaroas-
The Mere Reader took th~ rebuke
meskiy. but did vsniura 20 Inquire
n there we're any other than edged
tools In the Constant Writer'S hnndy
kis.
~Oh, yes. few. admitted the
Constant Writer. There is some
BIant Instrument wish which per
sons are alwavs Knocked down .
and sickening Thud. which Il Al.
waya auii'. and Bosom ~ Desiruc.
ton. always used to 'wreak hABoc'
whsn Il sweeps the country'"
With this the Mere Reader bad
moro than enough for one time. SO
h. went away.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1910-05-06

uAry. Through a special coFrespon.
dent the paper ran these stories
weekiy during SIX or seven weeks.
They dealt first with personalities
10 the extreme. and finally with
official acts. what purported 10 be
alleged happenings 10 Judge Gross
cups life FROM the time when he
lived as d Dor at Ashland. o.. 70
his most recent decision IN the
United States circuit court AZ Chi
cage.
Az the conclusion OF the dis
closures Eugene v Dehs spoke at
an immense mass meeting ~ Or.
ehestra hall. in Chicago. wherein
he llAyed judge Grosscup merei
iessiy. challenging the Judge 20
meet him In debate and dlspr0ve
the charges preferred Shortly af-
ter the Deba meeting Judge Gross
cup left Chicago for Egypt. where.
he said. be intended 70 remain sew
eral months.
Briefly. the charges against
Judge Grosscup. as To his official
conduct. as preferred BY the Ap-
peal 20 Reason. are:
That he used railroad passes and
private Pullman cars ia going
about the country.
That he was charged before the
United States supreme court With
doing things In the Union Traction
receivorship which were unbecom-
ing in u Judge. and for which he
should have been punished.
That he committed actual en-
bexaiement on one occasion. and
forced the clerk Of the court 10
become an accessory 20 the crime
That he started hts Judicial ca.
reer as n poor man. and IN IS years
amaRsed fortune OF several mil.
lions.
To none OF these charges has
Judge GToescup replied.
II Representative sabath's reso-
luton results In an investigation
of Judge Grosscup. the trushfuiness
of the charges made by the Appeal
20 Reason will be put to the test
Recently the Chicago Federation
OF Labor considered n resolution
which carried with II the demand
sthat 1; the Appeal 20 Reason sus
tasAcd It's charges. Judge Crosscup
se4m be impeached. and that II
tlAbk per failed to make good. II
sh0uM be excluded from the mails
More recaptfys the Switchmen's
union sent RAGelegatIon to Wash
ington to p6AAs the SABBATH resoiu.
tiou
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1910-05-06
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

If gsrl trusts a younk tsnan. &
may be a sign that her lQther
doesn't A.
Perhaps more people would 20 10
church n Il wasn't exactly the
proper thing 10 do.
Most flat jewellers admire the jan
TORS wife because OF her ability 10
boss the janitor.
Invite some men 60 take a drink
and they measure out five fingers"
just TO keep their hand In.
II may be the semi invisible baby
ribbon that enables a man 90 recog-
nize a summer girl when he secs
hcr.
When a small boy begins to save
his pennies instead Of blowing them
In for candy. it's a safe bet ha. has
his eye on n baseball outfit
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1910-05-06

Jas. Gordon Bennett lives In
Paris, but he Is actively in charge
OF the New York Herald. one OF the
great newspapers OF the world. and
the Telegram. the evening edition
OF the Herald. In the Herald build.
Ing GA Herald square. New York
city. Benefits office Is kept ready
for him. At night a light burns in
the office and the place Is cleaned
and busted regularly, for no one
knows when the owner may walk
In. From Paris Bennett daily cables
instructions TO his editors In New
York city. He sent Stanley into
Africa to find DIR. Livingstone. sent
an expedition in search OF the
North Pole. and saved Ireland from
a famine.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1910-05-06

Frieud-~G ogxon. how Ia your
aeroplane getting alongY
Inventor Is complete, with
The exception q one little detail !
have not get perfected shall take
up that next
What II it,
"A mere tribe thaf ! can shlnk OUT
AZ any time The principal feature
Of my invention IL 4 safety net thai
viii travel along under nay aero
plane TO prevent fatal accidents. II
will make navigating ths air abso-
iutely free from danger By the
introduction Of that net have rcvo-
Iationixed the entire business.
"Buf how IL The net itself u be
kept free from falling 70 the ground
when anything happens TO your
acceptance"
That Is the little detail haven't
worked out yet"-f5fe.