The San Francisco call., 1910-04-24
mmmMAGIC or THE PERFECT PIE

pastry tnat ran from Ger you VIII at
once pick up. If you can't wet the
ends of your fingers 1 can't tell you
how to do it. 1t wouldn't be nice. But
they have a rare crumbiness. those
ones. Can you take a hint?
NOW FOR THE CRUST
So much (but how little) for the pie
and what the pie should be. Now let us
take the crust, which is essentially the
embodied soul of the great cosmos of
pie. Without a crust there could be no
pie. With a crust that is really a crust
brown, stimulating, soothing, abound
ing in creamy, amber waves of smell
edo you know that scents have colors? y
1t comes from the oven-a pie is one
OF the last expressions of certain suf-
ficient art. Man is a little lower than
the angels. The perfect crust is little
higher. 1t even justifies the New Eng
land conscience. The conscience pro-
vides the pie with a sort OF setting. Do
you take me? 1t should not be greasy,
our crust; but suffer it not Cdear
madam) to be dry. It must have the
balance of body, but must not be over
rich. To be overrich is as vulgar as to
be "nouveau" rich. Above all things,
It must not be soggy.
1 said a little while ago that the
proper crust was a little higher than
the angels. Well, the soggy crust-the
improper indelicate crust-is far, far
lower than the snails. 1t has all the
qualities of uncared for kitchen cloths.
It fills one with revulsion and loath-
ing horror. Even a golden siren could
not compensate us for a soggy crust
So you can understand how loathsome
it must be.
or course there may be crusts and
crusts. There are as many crusts as
religions, probably. And, like the reli-
gions, they may be equally saving.
There is no monopoly in the case of
either-if you don't include the pie Of
commerce. which Of course is not pie.
1t is only an insult to intelligence and
ruin to digestion But there are
many good home made pie erusts which
may be of the elect. I will give YOU
one OF them (my own particular one Of
them), as I can sense that you are be-
coming rather worked UP. But first I'M
derstand one thing, to bake a crust of
this sort you must approach your shrine
in reverential mood Be godly If YOU
viii, but assuredly be cleanly. And
while you're about it wash your hands
IN ice water, or water just as cold as it
can be. 1t cools them and prevents
their warmth from interfering with
the delicate processes which go on
among the instruments of your express
sion-which means to say the -four, and
SO forth.
There Is prevalent idea that
peculiar unstaccato sort of touch-a
mysticism of hand manipulation-is the
secret of the nghtness of a crust. 1t
viii doubtless cheer the heavy handed
TO know that this is not so. It NAV
also cheer the heavy hearted. The only
secret Of touch in the matter of form
ing the paste IS TO touch as little as
possible The only touch I will permit
is the touch which viii produce a new
hat for you when you've made the
crust which I'll tell you about for your
husband. I hardly touch the mixture
myself after the shortening is COM
pletely incorporated.
Having said this. we come-as ve
naturally must come-to the shorten
Ing. Shortening is to crust what a clear
complexion is to woman. That is to
say 1t may not be everything, but it
means good deal when the gentleman
OF her preference appears. My shorten
ing is the evolution Of experiment II
is nicely balanced, discrimfnating
thing. In my erring youth I was a
wanderer in the garden of butter and
of lard, single and separately. Now
am on confidential terms with a siren
which is my shortening Three parts
Of her is butter and one part lard. She