Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-06-23
MEREDITH NCHOLSOl

6df9SH1SI1
CHAPTER XXIX-Continued.
1t was not easy to hear Wayne Craig
hill spoken Of in this way. II it hae not
been that she realized the depth OF Joes
fidelity and devotion to Wayne she could
not have stood 1t. For Joe saw in Waynes
lapses only the pardonable escapades OF
a young man of fortune, whose spectacu-
lar performances were free from the
ignominy that attaches to drunken out
breaks Of the poor and obscure. Joe felt
that he was not saying the right thing;
Jeans inattention warned him to stop.
Her hands were clasped in her lap, ana
her lips had been shut tight during his
wandering recital. \. hen she and Wayne
had sat here in this room with Joe be-
tween them she had resolved upon
course that would abruptly change the
channel Of her life-that might blight and
wreck it irrecoverably. She had ALREADY
made her purpose clear to wayne and
! that had been hard; and she had Joe to
tell now and that was more difficult Tor
while Wayne could understand what 1t
meant to her, she knew that Joe was in
capable of understanding. She had
brought herself by slow. dimcult steps to
the high altar of duty, and was ready
now to make confession and yleld up hef
sacrifice.
Joe, there's something l must tell you.
I've been waiting to tell you until you
were we'll enough to hear"
I'm all right, Jean: go ahead, ne salo'
turning so that he might see her better.
You know. Joe. that when l left you
1t was because felt that we had made
mistake. and that we could never be
happy together. l was honest about 1t;
felt that it would be great sin for US
| han
didn't care. I was young and so were
you, and we had never thought about life
seriously. You were the incest. manifest
boy in our town, and you thought ] was
married. 1t wasn't necessary TO run
away, but it seemed romantic and 1t was
childish. like all the rest OF it.
I'VE were kids, all right" murmured
Joe.
But when it was done and we were
married 1 saw how serious it was and l
saw the mistake, too. Just to live on
with you and to work for you while you
were working for me and to go on that
way till we died-I saw right away. Joe,
that wouldn't do. And there was the
fear of children coming-you know what
the children of the poor In mining towns
are like. and the thought Of that was a
| terror to me, joe ! don't think you ever
understood how I felt about that. And
more than anything else I realized that
1 wanted to go on with my work-that 1t
meant more to me than you did. Joe. m
speaking Of these things because 1t only
square to myself that / should go over
them for minute. You were as kind as
could be; you cared-cared as I did not
and could not
"Oh. know that, Jean-I know it. But
let's not talk about tits no use talking
| about it,
We must talk Of it-or 1 must. and l
want to do it now. You never did one
thing that was not right. You were a
good, clean, honest boy. and you would
never have done anything to hurt me- IL
was l who hurt you. You were generous
and kind. and l was selfish and hard.
saw only my own happiness and the
chance of doing something in the world
for myself. And I put you away from
great wrong-or as though you had been
| bit of ribbon / didn't want any more.
A woman has no right to treat man
that way when he has never harmed her
or done any dishonorabIe thing-when he
is kind and gentle. as you were. 1t seems
a long time ago that 1t all happened.
and supposed you didn't care any more
But after l came here and began seeing
you again I saw that you had not for
| gotten and that it hurt you deeply.
suppose never felt quite right about 1t.
| It felt like fraud on people who thought
/ had never been married. but l told the
| friends l made here-Mrs. Blair and Mr.
| Paddock. 1 suppose that in my heart
I had set myself up as better than you
| were. and l had broken my oath to you
the law could never make that right. but
I never understood it until that evening
came here first and saw you sick, and
other people taking care of you"
| The old ache had come into his heart.
| 1t had never hurt him SO much as now
| and in his weakness the tears stole down
his cheeks, but he shook his head YEARLY
on the pillow.
It's all over: I'm sorry 1 bothered you
and that ran after you that day in the
| snowstorm, but I guess l wasn't quite
right in my head then. 1t was this sick,
| ress coming on. But it's all done. and
you don't need to trouble about 1t, Jean. ="
But. joe" and she bent nearer ano
| took his hand, his big battered hand. with
| his fingers twisted and bent by mine la
| Dor and the punishment of the ball field;
| caressed it and went on in the same low
| tone with which she had begun. 1T isn't
| over. Joe. I've talked to Mr.. Paddock
about that. He says the courts making
me free and giving me my name again
and kind and gentle he is. but he was
| very firm about that. He said had sac
rif1ced my duty to my ambition-that was
the way he put it-and now. Joe
And this was the hardest thing for her
| to say: it was bending her neck again to
| the yoke from which she had been free;
and there was pain In her heart that
| was not for herself. but for him. for ne
| Hdu DcCH Tie SuHcIcl ~ vas HC tudI hdu
| cared. But she knew. as she believed he
could not. how impossible 1t would be for
| them to find the lost path in which they
| had begun to walk together. He would
| take what she offered without knowing
at how great cost she gave 1t. and her
mind leaped on at a bound across the
| long years before them to the end of their
| lives. She saw her. hopes for her work
crumble into dust, and the world of
| beauty which the dawning consciousness
| of her powers had iliumined before her.
the joy of success, the stimulus of ap-
| plause, the acquaintance of people who
would appreciate her skiii-all these
things she would sweep away by a word.
and forget that they had ever been her
dreams or that life had ever held any
thing better for her than being Joe's wife,
and living on with him. and eating the
bread won for her by the hand that lay
there in hers. Suddenly. before she could
| finish, and tell him she would go back
| to him and renew the broken tie. she felt
| his clasp tighten. and she took it that he
understood and that this was his accept
ance of what she meant to Offer She did
not look into his eyes at once and she
| hoped he would not speak. for anything
| he could say would only cause her pain.
jean
i YES" she said. bravely.
Its no good. Jean. 1 can't let you do
| that: we quit, and II that was wrong we
can't fix it now. You don't need to feel
| sorry for me. I'll be out O. here and all
| right pretty soon. And / amt goin to
drag you down. You talk about doin' me