The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1910-05-14
CATCHING STEP
Copyright. 1910, by Associated Literary Press,
By JEANNE o. LoIzEAUx.

Copyright. 1910. by Associated Literary Press)
Akers was discouraged. He had plodded along with
his set of books at Bennison's for ten years. He had
come there when he was Twenty-Five. Now the hair
was thin at his temples and a little gray. And he no
longer hid from himself the fact that there was q
but he had be become - a astmre-he made no hsadway.
They had raised his wages twice In the first four years
since. He dared not mention 1t. because they might
refuse II, and his pride could not let him remain
the old mother u home. bedridden for years. And.
a year ago. she had died. He had not yet paid all
store. Akers was honest. and paid instaliments as he
could. He had given up the small house in the sub
the entire care OF his mother. except when she was
at her worst Then he had had to hire a woman.
had taken wings and fed. -
When he was almost thirty, the year his mother
first took to her bed, there had been a girl. She was
pretty and gentle and sweet, q billing clerk In the ONCE,
but a born homen,akcr. Her smile was a comfort, and
though she was not much past twenty. she mothered
everybody In the store impartiany. from the skuiktng,
smoky cat to Akers. She seemed to understand. No
other girls took Amy Bartlett their little jeafoustes
and riyalries and the men took courage from her.
Akers walked one morning-one morning after he had
been UP all night with his mother and had been told
many -years-.e the fact tAa. he loved Amg- bartlett.
After that he kept away from the girl. He could not
cency and honor kept him from saying. Z love you"
So his life became a starvation. for hearts must be
thing. or even to 60 to church, or ever to the theater-
he could not AFFORD the latter. And he found he must
office work suffer. From doing his work confidently.
gladly. it became a drag and a trouble. He might make
a mistake and lose his place.
1t was about a year after he had reached this point
that Amy came to him a moment one day when he was
feeling SO tired and blank that the figures were a mere
Gaze. She had not said more than a casual word for
months. and now her nearness brought a feeling akin
to hysteria to his throat. He was afraud that in spite
OF himself he would break into tears. or put his head
down against her wenaan's arm for comfcrt-he so
needed comfort A sort of gruffness was his only
safety.
81 just thought I'd ask you-if I had offended you
IN any way" she said rather timidly. I'm so care
less Of what / say. and you've-weil. we used to be
friends |, ss and i though. l might s.h. have said o. done so'ns,
bear, but he managed to be very steady and formal
ana NO 90 is sssss s Mia. a 8 sss ntt net s at a,. you've always
been very good. I've. only been busy-my mother is
s s,ns s sou 10sns nes saa . nss a nas to es up an n's .hen- BECAUSE rm
ne knew he could not bear her questions of sympathy
the senior partner who was about to ask him some
thing. The girls eyes were plying and pitiful, but
A few weeks after that she took a position in another
store, and he never saw her-not even on the street.
trying. and he was up more at night. and the bills
became more frequent, And his work-his one effort
could be found with that. but all human spontaneity
left him. He had lost step. The girls did not smile
ners called him "Mr. Akers," not the joviai 'John" he
had been for the FIRST years. And then he insured his
duty. He might be killed In a street car crash on the
way to work some morning and leave nothing to his
esty made him thus further a slave.
One day he heard the girls in the Office talking about
a party the force was to have. His name was men,
toned. They were not even careful lest he hear
careiessly remarked that he was "a thousand years old
and entirely out OF the, running" He realized this. lie
knew he had lost step with the march OF joy and prog
ress.
And then the mother had died. The firm gave him
two weeks on. on pay. and perfunctory condolences
They liked Akers: he was faithful. He went home and
managed the funeral. made the few distant relatives
who eetld come as comfortable as he could. wrote let
tefeI faced an empty mouse. Theu he knew that, trying
as the half insane. peevish. unloving old woman had
been. her absence was a terrible thins. His heart was
empty. He face the fact. which was not the worst
thing he did; he accepted 1t, which was fatal. He not
only recognised loneliness and failure and limitation
he accepted them. He had ceased to fight.
When the two weeks were over no went back to the
ONCE. He gave up the little rented house and moved
to a cheap boarding place. It was not comfortable.
but neither was debt. He settled down to work and the
stoop in his shoulders was more marked and his hair
thinned a bit more; but his smile grew very gentle and
fine quality crept into his voice. He slept and began to
be really rested. and some OF the daze passed.
After a few months he began to read again-maga-
zine stories. foolish things: but the. reminded him that
there was, somewhere, youth and love and laughter in
tho world.
And then there was Hinstte. she was the land
lady's little girl, curiy-headed. warm hearted. With
the confidence of her four years the ~baby-womaa walked
to his room. creep into his arms and demand a story,
Unable to deny her anything. he bestirred his memory,
reality.
1t was his first step up from the depths of apathy.
He ~eald think things out to tell trc baby, una ne
took to buying her candy and cheap toys. 1t was the
first time in years that he had practiced self Indulgence.
ne 0u II = a lover wastes gifts on the lady of his
dreams. one nihst the child, overtired, fell asleep.
her yellow little he'd on his breast; and he held her
awhile before carrying her down to her mother, who
was none too sorry to have the care of the child fall
! sometimes upon this big, kind man.
He became lighted OF heart and brighter, and his
work had Il tingle of his boyish energy In 1t. It occur
red to him ono morning Just as the senior partner
came up to speak to him to ask for a raise. Without
giving himself time to weigh and ponder, somewhat to
his own surprise. he did 1t confidently on the spot,
The request was granted. he had forgotten that a man
was valued by himself and that others rated him
with some dependence ON this valuation.
That night he bought a new gray Suig and to0k fhe
band from his hat. 1t was early summer, and he took
Ninette out for a walk in the little park.
Sitting in a red swing In the twilight, with the
sleepy child in his arms. all OF q sudden his heart was
full Of Amy Bartlett. Where was she? He longed to
see her. to hear her gentle voice and see the womanly,
motheriy. comforting smile. Being fair himself. he
liked dark women: there was to him something deem
and sweet about them. He remembered that Amy had
a dinpie in her plump cheek. Then he carried the
full of Amy Bartlett. =
The next day he asked Mrs. Farley. who had been
years in the ONCE. what had become of her. The older