Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1910-09-02
he LOST THE RACE
Mark TWain's Futile Chase After
a TaIlyho Coach.
MISSED a BIG CELEBRATION

The Way the Famous Humorist Ir
Company With w. D. HoweIls Did
Not Attend the Centennial Of the
Battle Of tho Minutemen at Concord
In his "reminiscences of Mark Twain
In Jumpers Magazine W. ID. IIowells
tells amusinSly OF the time when he
ami Mr.. Clemens missed the anniver-
sary of the battle OF Concord:
MARK Twain came on to Cambridge
in April. 1879. to so with me 10 the
centennial ceremonies at Concord in
celebration OF the battle of the minute
men with the British troops a hundred
years before. We both had special i'm
vitations. including passage from Bos-
ton. but said why bother To 20 to
Boston when we could Just as well
take the train for Concord at the Cam
bridge station. lie equally decided
that it would be absurd. SO we break.
tasted deliberately and then walked TO
the station. reasoning of many things
as usual.
when the train stopped we found
dense Oh the platforms of the cars
To our startled eyes they seemed TO
project from the windows. and unless
memory betrays me they lay strewn
upon the roofs like brakemen slain Mt
the post OF duty. We remounted the
fame worn steps of Porter's station
aud began exploring North Cambridge
Tor some means of transportation over.
land to Concord. for we were that far
on the road by which the British went
and came on the day of the battle.
The liverymen whom we appealed TO
received us. some with compassion.
some with derision. but in either mood
convinced us that we could not have,
hired a cat TO attempt our conveyance.
much less horse or vehicle of any
description
III was raw. windy day. very I'M
like the exceptionally hot April day
when the routed redcoats, pursued by
the ColOnials, fled painting back to Bos-
ton. with their tongues hanging out
like dogs but we could not take due
comfort In the vision of their discom-
future. We could almost envy them.
for they had AT least got to Concord
A swift procession Of coaches, car
riages and buggies. all going TO Con
cord. passed us. inert and helpless. on
the sidewalk In the peculiarly cold
mud Of North Cambridge. We began
to wonder II we might not stop one OF
them and bride It to take us.
II felt keenly the shame OF defeat
and the guilt of responsibility for our
failure. aud when a gay party OF stu
dents came toward us on the top of a
tallyho. luxuriantly empty inside. we
felt that our chance had come and our
last chance. lie said that IL would
stop them and tell them who l was
they would gladly. perhaps proudly.
give us passage. l commended that IL
with his far vaster renown be would
approach them our success would be
assured
while we stood. lost In this contest
of civilities. the coach passed us. with
gay notes blown from the horns OF the
students. and then Clemens started In
pursuit. encouraged with shouts from
the merry party. who could not i'm
agine who was trying TO run them
down. TO rivalry Of speed The un.
equal match could end only In one
way. and | am glad cannot recall
what he said when be came back to
me. Since then have often wondered
at the grief which would have wrung
those blithe young hearts II they could
have known that they might have had
the company OF Mark Twain TO Con
cord that day and did not
I'VE hung about unavailingly In the
bitter wind awhile longer and then
slowly. very slowly. made our way
home. We wished to pass as much
time as possible In order to give prob.
ability 10 the deceit we intended to
practice. for we could not bear to own
ourselves bafiled In our boosted wis.
dom OF taking the train at Porter's
station and had agreed to say that we
had been to Concord and got back
Even after coming home to my house
we felt thar our statement would be
wanting in verisImilitude without fur
Their delay. and We erept quietly into
my library and made up roaring Ere
on the hearth and thawed ourselves
out in the heat of IL before we regained
our courage for the undertaking. With
all these precautions we failed. for
when our statement was impaired TO
the proposed victim she a'stantly pro.
nounced 1t unreliable. and we were left |
with 1t on our hands Intact. l think |
the bumor Of this situation was finally |
a greater pleasure to Clemens than an |
actual visit 10 Concord would have |
been. Only few weeks before his |
death he laughed our defeat over with |
one OF my family in Bermuda and ex
ulted in our prompt detection"