The Sauk Centre herald., 1910-07-07

u.
me, a baby, to her friend, a woman Of
her village-Threlka Mazoff. You have
seen her. She has been my mother
ever since. She has been the sole
guardian l have known all my life.
She has not been able to do with me
as she would have liked"
"You did not live at your own home
with your father?" asked.
For a time / grew up. But my
father, l think, was permanently
shocked by the loss of the woman he
had loved and whom he had brought
into all this cruelty She had been so
lOvable, so beautiful-she was so beau
tiful, my mother! So they sent me
away to France, to the schools.
grew up, / presume, proof in part of
the excellence of my fathers theory.
They told me that l was a beautiful
ANIMAL"
The contempt, the scorn, the pathos
the whole tragedy of her voice and
bearing-were such as / cannot set
down on paper, and such as scarce
could endure to hear. Never in my life
before have / felt such pity for a
human being, never so much desire
to do what might in sheer compass
sion
But now, how clear it all became to
me! I could understand many strange
things about the character of this
singular woman, her whims, her un-
accountable moods, her seeming care
lessness, yet withal, her dignity and
sweetness and air of breeding-above
all her mysteriousness. Let others
Judge her for themselves. There was
only longing in my heart that l might
find some word of comfort. What
could comfort her? Was not life, in
deed, for her to remain a perpetual
tragedy?
But, madam" said I, at length,
"you must not wrong your father and
your mother and yourself. These two
loved each other devotedly. Well,
what more? You are the result of a
happy marriage. You are beautiful,
you are splendid, by that reason"
perhaps. Even when l was 16 I
was beautiful" she mused. II have
heard rumors of that But I say to
you that then 1 was only beautiful
animal. Also, I was vicious animal.
1 had in my heart all the malice
which my mother never spoke. / felt
in my soul the wish to injure women,
to punish men, to torment them, to
make them pay! To set even those
balances of torture!-ah, that was
my ambition! l had not forgotten
that, when l first met you, when I
first heard Other, the woman whom
you love, whom already in your saw
age, strong way you have welded
the woman whose vows l spoke with
her-I-I, Helena Won Ritz, with his
tory such as mine!
Father, father"-she turned to him
swiftly; "rise-go! l cannot now
speak before you. Leave us alone un-
til CALI"
child and she the parent, the old man
rose and tottered feebly from the
room.
There are things woman cannot
say in the presence of parent" she
said turning to me. Her face
twitched "It takes all my bravery to
talk to you."
"Why should you? There is not
need. Do not!"
"Ah, / must, because it is fair" said
She 81 have lost, lost! l have told
you l would pay my wager"
After time she turned her face
straight toward mine and went on
with her old splendid bravery.
$50, now, you see, when l was
young and beautiful had rank and
money / had brains. l had hatred
of men. l had contempt for the aris-
tocracy My heart was peasant after
all. My principles were those of the
republican. Revolution was in my
soul, say. Thwarted, distorted,
wretched unscrupulous, did what l
could to make hell for those who had
made hell for us. l have set dozens
of men by the ears. l have been
promised in marriage to / know not
how many dozen men have fought
to the death in duels over me. For
each such death / had not even
thOught TIE mere troubles / made,
the happier l was. Oh, yes, in time
/ became known ha.: reputation;
there is no doubt of that.
But still the organized aristocracy
had its revenge-it had its will OF me,
after all. There came to NE, as there
had to my mother, an imperial order.
In punishment for my fancies and va
garies, | was condemned to marry
certain nobleman. That was the whim
Of the new emperor, Ferdinand, the
degenerate. He took the throne when
l was but 16 years of age. He chose
for me degenerate mate from his
own Sort" She choked now.
you did marry him."
She nodded "Yes. Debauchee,
rake, monster degenerate, product OF
that aristocracy which had oppressed
us, l was obliged to marry him,
man three times my age! l pleaded.
begged. / was taken away by night.
l was-I was They say / was mar
ried to him. For myself, l did not
know where I was or what happened.
But after that they said l was the
wife of this man, a sot, monster, the
memory only of manhood. Now, in