The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1910-06-28

AClever
RuSe
But 1t Was Very Unexpectedly
Thwafted.
By WILLARD BRAKEMAN
Copyright, 1910. by American Press
Asaociaffou
Copyright, 1910. by American Press
Association.

Copyright, 1910. by American Press
Association. y
On coming home from business !
found my wife In the dumps.
Whats the matter, dearT asked.
Its all up with u.s."
Bottom dropped out Of the uni
verseT"
Worse. Aunt Abigail win have TO
live with us. She's written that her
friend with whom she has had a home
is to give up her house the LIST of May,
and that throws her out. am her
only relative, and of course she OK
poets me to take her I'M
shes bit cranky. isn't sher'
Cranky Is no name for II"
well, wen have to make the best OF
it."
Aunt Abigail arrived. We had preVi-
ously considered our home entirely our
own. With the coming of our relative
we saw at once that all this was
changed. She settled herself down
with an appearance of permanency
that made my blood run cold.
"Well," she exclaimed, looking about
her. ''how did you ever come to build
this house down In hollow-it must
have been swamp once-when you
could as well have put it up on that
hill. where you could see something's"
1--WE live here winter and summer,
Aunt Abigail. Up there we would
freeze in cold weather"
"Freeze Nonsense! Some people are
always afraid they'll breathe q little
fresh air. I'm not. sleep with my
window open, and like to have gale
blowing in right on me. You should
have fronted your house to the south.
II can't stand this. We must get rid
Of her, said to my wife"
ITO turn her out would be awful"
I'VE needn't do that We can FIX Il
so that she will go Of her own accord"
For heavens sake explain"
you know the homeopathic princi-
ple-like cures like. Well, my Uncle
Robert Is more disagreeable, II that is
possible. than your Aunt Abigail. He
is dictatorial old curmudgeon, with
no respect for any ones opinion but
his own. He Is as poor as church
mouse, living in miserable room In a
rookery by himself. He amuses him
self abusing his neighbors from his
window and shying anything he can
get his hands on at the cats. Now, 1t
has occurred to me to bring him here
as foil for your aunt. She can't pos
sibly endure to stay in the house with
such man, and when she's gone III
find way to get rid Of Uncle Robert.
Perhaps they may both go to get rid
of each other"
"Your plan seems rather impractica-
BILE to me, Billy. but have good deal
of confidence in those roundabout ways
of yours. Suppose we try it?'
So l wrote Uncle Robert Offering q
home temporarily and. If he liked 1t,
as long as he lived he accepted eager
ly. and 1t was not long before he was
down upon us bag and baggage.
my dear boy" he exclaimed, pat
ting me on the back. how you do re-
mind me Of your father! He and /
were inseparable as boys. and I've car
ried you on my shoulder often. And
you! Put me anywhere A garnet Is
good enough for a broken down old
codger like me. Phew! Somebody's
been smoking here Do you smoker
How hate tobacco! 1t makes me
sick"
u won't smoke any more in the
house since you've come, uncle" said.
"Oh, don't mind me. / can stand
anything; got to stand 1t. I've made
a dead failure Of life and don't deserve
anything else. You don't mind my
| opening the window. do you-just to
let the odor out?"
Fanny has bad cold, you know"
Just the thing to cure her. Let her
breathe the cool air of heaven"
Up went the window and out Of the
room went Fanny. Half an hour after
my uncle arrived dinner was announc-
ed. l was watching our guests when
they entered the dining room. 1t was
like a dog and a cat at first catching
| sight Of each other. Both seemed to
crouch for an encounter. Neither
| spoke to the other for some time after
taking seats at table. Then a remark
Of Uncle Roberts ruffled Aunt Abigail
'This women's voting craze"- be
was beginning.
Voting what, sirT'
Craze, madam" raising bis voice.
"Pm not deaf. heard you well
enough. I object to you calling WON.
ans suffrage craze"
Are you an advocate Of woman'a
suffrage, madame"
81 most assuredly am"
II believe in any one who advocates
principle standing by that principle
and not attempting to straddle"-
"Sirw
That Is, to eQuivocate or knuckle
| down, defending the cause with all
his or her strength. Per contra, re-
serve the same privilege for myself.
Woman's suffrage consider the most
abominable, diabolical. illogical ROT
that was ever sprung on a Christian
| people,"
"And 1 consider it one of the hottest
causes
"Aunt Abigail" interposed my wife
''do let me help you to this little bill
of wing. You're not eating enough Ia
feed sparrow"
I'm inclined to think" remarked
Uncle Robert, 'that there's a good deal
In this new idea Of diet. This man
what's-h is-name who Is proving that
| the less we eat the more work we can
do is going to create revolution"
Have you adopted his idea| asked
Aunt Abigail spitefully.
Considering that had just filed Un-
Gle Roberts plate for the second time
| this was unkind
| II have not, madam, for the reason
that l am not yet satisfied that his
views are correct. I'm nothing If not
scientific. | must see thing proved
before adopt it."
Would you prove woman's suffrage
before adopting It'll"
This was quite bright of Aunt Abb
gall.
81 admit" replied Uncle Robert,
that to prove it before adopting it
would be impossible. 1t isn't neces-
sary to prove it. Any fool can see
that the idea is ridiculous"
Uncle" interrupted for the pur-
pose of calling truce and preventing
Aunt Abigail from firing return shot,
''let me fll your glass"
mo. sir" putting his hand over it,
mot at all, sir. ] drink just one glass
of wine with my dinner. And that's