davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1910-11-19
NIGHT POLICEMAN HALTED THE PA
RAIDERS.

halted the paraders and demanded an
explanation. The count said he was
on his way home and had bought the
sofa and that it was his property.
The officer probably thought the ques-
ton Of propriety too important for
Bners. including the sofa, into the
presence of the precinct captain. The
count told his story and presented his
receipt for the sofas purchase. The
captain verified these statements by
telephoning to the restaurant propri-
etor and advised his unwilling guests
to go home
In less than an hour the captain was
astonished to have the sofa and its
retinue of attendants brought before
him by another officer. The party was
released q second time. The incident
was repeated three times. and the cap
tain was becoming fit subject for
the madhouse when he had brilliant
idea. Four officers were ordered to
march with the count. the sofa and the
party to escort them home.
Slowly the procession moved toward
the shore When a landing place was
reached the count and his friends
made a jump for the bridge. where a
motor launch was in waiting Amid
the cheers of the crowd the launch
sped away. leaving the officers to
carry the sofa YEARLY back to the pc.
lice station
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1910-11-19
HuInOr and
Philosophy
~ DUNCAN n. SMITH
LAME EXCUSES.

NHEY say that any one would graft
I Including me and you.
Dip in his pail and help himself.
Were but the chance in view,
Did opportunity unfold.
Take everything in sight;
That doesn't make 1t right.
A plea like that may serve to ease
The conscience for awhile.
And. though it Is a lame excuse,
1t seems to be the style. &.
But no reliance can a man
On plea so spectous place
When III the still and solemn court
The jury has his case.
When grating pleasantly along
On something that looks sure
1t seems very easy way
A living to secure.
But when some sly uplifter comes
Muck raking on the trail
It's slightly different II a chap
Must hustle out for bail.
1t doesn't soften the disgrace,
1t doesn't pay the fine.
To say that every one would like
A nibble in that line.
When no exposer IL around
1t all seems very well,
But much more serious it seems
To view 1t from a cell. q
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1910-11-19
Mason's Bachelors Club.

Mason's Bachelors Club have an
nounced their first grand ball which
will be given at Spragg hall, Mason, on
Thanksgiving eve. A bus will run from
Yerington and the boys promise an un-
usually good time to all who attend.
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1910-11-19
OUICKNESS OF MIND.
Breechloaders.

Breechloading in artillery and small
arms is popularity supposed to be an
invention of the middle of the last Gen.
fury, but such is by no means the case.
In a Dublin gunsmith's shop at Cork
Hill is ON view breechloading rife
offered TO the British war office at the
close CT the eighteenth century and re-
jected, as it was considered to need
too much ammunition.
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1910-11-19
Unselfish.

'Could you spare me nickel"
whined the beggar. Il haven't had a
thing to eat for three days."
II would do it gladly. but am just
about busted myself"
but only want a nickel"
Sorry. but that is more than l
have.' But. seeing the look Of disap-
pointment on the face of the beggar.
he added. You don't happen to have
Ratchet. do you"
what do you want with hatchet?"
$50 could divide my last cent with
you"
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1910-11-19
Neishbor. Voted for Them.

No matter if candidate is defeated at
an election, if his own neighbors show
their confidence by giving him good
majority, he ought to feel satisfied.
That is the position of Tom Mayne. He
was defeated for sheriff in the county
but his own town. Silver City, gave him
Just twice as many votes as it gave his
opponent. M. ]. King has even more
reason to be grateful to his neighbors,
for they gave him Is votes and only IS
for his opponent Damon.
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1910-11-19
A Canary's Ears.

A canary's ears are back of and a
little below its eyes. They are not
hard to find when one has learned
where to look. There Is no outer ear.
such as animals have. bu: simply a
small opening which Is covered by
feathers. II is quite surprising that
birds should possess the very acute
hearing which they do. while lacking
the fleshy dap which enables the ami
mas to catch sounds.-St. Nicholas.
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1910-11-19
Got Satan BIuffed.

Got Satan BIuffed.
'"That woman would intimidate Sa-
tan himself"
"Who-Mrs. Sprightly"
"Yes."
"You don't sdyw
"Yes, | do. He wouldn't dare to in
innate that single soul was his own
If she were around"
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1910-11-19
Good Man Gone,

GOOD Man Gohe,
did you not know Clancy"
mo; I don't remember him."
policemen to arrest him. ana then they
couldn't have done it if be hadn't
given himself up. He was a good
man."
Does be live around here now"
mo; they hanged him."
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1910-11-19
LITTLE LOCALS

:
Con Malloy was down from Yelling
ton Tuesday.
Eg Cool beer at the l.. & l.. If
Tom Brown, of Wabuska, was in town
Tuesday.
*** New stock Mayer shoes at Arends
& Hansons. oct29-2t
r. F. Carney and brother were down
from Smith Valley Tuesday
fV Choicest wines, liquors and ci-
CARS. at the l.. & l.. Bar If
Ira Fallon, assemblyman- from
Wellington, was in town Monday.
J. A. Ryan was in Yerington Monday
and registered from Austin.
*** Littell at the postoffice, keeps
sewing machines for sale or rent. If
II. S. Morgan and son came in from
the Fast Walker Wednesday.
Judge Curler, of Reno, was here on
business the first of the week.
Geo. Conan, of Eureka, Nevada, was
at the Commercial Sunday.
*** Pictures framed at short notice
New stock of mouldings At Littell's.
Jack Welsh, Superintendent of the
Mason Valley mine, was over in the
Pine nut range this week.
R. ]. Chapman, of Deadwood, South
Dakota, was one of Mondays arrivals in
town.
J. L. Mcmahon, who halls from Bat
tie Mountain, was in Yerington Mon-
day.
w Belmont whiskey for medical
purposes, at the L. & L. Bar. If
Mr.. and Mrs. James Hardy have re-
turned from Hawthorne and will again
make their home in Yerington.
DIR. Edgar Leavitt, who is now en-
gagged in hospital work in San Francisco,
is in Yerington this week.
"** New line dry goods, ginghams,
vicunas, fannelettes. ladies' and chill
dren's sweater coats, ETC., at Arends
g. Hanson's. oct29-2t
Mr.. and Mrs. George Webster came in
Tuesday from their home on the East
Walker.
*** New samples have arrived at
Levin s.; fall and winter styles; cheap
est in the town; mems suits 500 and up;
fit guaranteed.
LosT-two carpet-rugs between Yer
ington and Mcleod hill. Finder please
return to F. L. Littell. ZIP
The month old baby of Mr. and Mrs.
Joe Ponto, who are living on the old
Johnson ranch, died on Monday, the
14th
w Chancellor, FL Sidelo, Optimo,
Brown Palace, Cordove, Republica La
Turina, La International and Dry Gil
mate cigars. Can you beat that assort-
1nent? All carried at the L. & L.
Bar. tt
George Welsh, who lived in this vicin
ity for a number of years, coming here
as boy, was in this week shaking
hands with his numerous friends. Mr..
Welsh now makes his home at Bodie,
Calf
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1910-11-19
For Sale,

One and one-half horse power gasoline
engine, with 2-inch centrifugal pump.
Just what you need to pump water for
your beef cattle this winter. Inquire OF
f. H. Whitacre. If.
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1910-11-19
Certain Way.

81 want to learn to make money"
do your"
"Yes. Can you tell me how?"
Certainly"
you can? Pray. do"
Get a job at the mint"
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1910-11-19
Poison Is Quicker.

Poison ls Quicker.
Here is q man
who claims he can
cure any disease
by fasting"
~ hat is an old
remedy"
lis it effective:"
III persisted in
long enough"
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1910-11-19
Judge Pike, Of Reno, Drops Dead

Judge Pike, of Reno, dropped dead at
the Overland Hotel, Fallon, last night
Rheumatism of the heart is supposed to
be the cause of death
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1910-11-19
Undoubtedly.

'He is perfect lady"
,'l'erhaps that is why he finds the
average man SO insulting"
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1910-11-19
"YOUR FRIEND
IN new YORK"

Is your personal representative in
Americas greatest city. Tell us any
service you wish performed in the me-
tropolis, and we act just as you would
act, if here.
Do YOU wish model of an invention
made; the address of a famous specialist;
your literary work criticised or sold;
names of authorities on psychic phen-
omena a ribbon matched; an aeroplane
bought; lost person traced; speech
written; project financed, or in short,
any thing that New York can furnish
that YOU cannot get at homea Write us
on any subject. Your Friend in New
York" is really your friend who will
perform any service for you.
Gut this announcement out and paste
it up for you will surely need us sooner
or later Write today-now-fo our
free booklet which tells all about us.
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1910-11-19
So Careless.

"Jenks. when are you going to mar
~ the Widow Goodeye?"
II didn't know l was going to marry
her."
What. Hasn't she mentioned it to
you?"
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1910-11-19
Past Masters.

They say that figures will not lie.
thought that so until
The grocer man he came along
And sprung on me his bill.
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1910-11-19

lie is leading the simple life now"
100 bad about that
About What?"
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1910-11-19

Many man who wouldn't run from
a lion yet runs from a woman who
runs from a mouse.
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1910-11-19
Not to Be Broken.

Not to Be broken.
"Has your husband strong willY'
my dear. his will Is incOntestable."
-Harper's Bazaar.
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1910-11-19

II hadn't heard that he had lost his
money"
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1910-11-19
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

Not being able to pay bill is what
makes us able to owe it.
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1910-11-19

II brunette thinks she prefers to be
a blonde she does
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1910-11-19

When girl is In love she Is willing
how her grandmother kept house.
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1910-11-19

The reason why some people lie so is
because they have to talk.
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1910-11-19

money"
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-06-16

was treasure 10 De O1V1ueu dAnonS
them; that they were to march to the
capital and have preferment among
the government forces. which now that
the treacherous Mancha was dead
would surely be triumphant.
The first thing done was to bring
out the treasure and turn 1t over 70
this valiant army, whose conscience
was altogether too tender to see 9
man stood up to be shot down by Dul-
lets when he had been promised blank
cartridges. There was q fine spree
that night, and the next morning the
army, with Senior and Sonora Valdez
riding in its front, marched to the cap
ital. They received an ovation, Tor It
was certain that the killing OF Mancha
and the detection Of this small though
relatively important portion q ms
army would end the revolution
Senior valdez gave out that the Plot
had been carried out exactly a. It had
been conceived. OF course there was
a shortage Of half a million In the &C
counts. but the people didn't mino z
little thing like that since 1t nao &C
,omplished such brilliant result. the
outstanding revolutionary armies soon
laid down their arms, and peace once
more reigned in the state. -.
senora valdez came In for the credlt
of executing the scheme. though ne1
husband was supposed to have con-
ca,vad It. At any rate. she was tne
most popular woman at the capala.
ana when the presidents term expasso
yaidas was elected n bis plsee.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-06-16
new SHORT STORIES
Dodqinq the Twenty-Five.

Dodglng the twenty-five.
Alderman Bauler of Chicago was
discussing his famous aDti-hatpin reso-
luton.
Some women" he said. smiling,
object to my resolution. They want
to carry hatpins as defense when
they walk home late at night from the
Office or the theater. But that plea, il
these women will forgive me, lodges
the real issue.
Eyes, 1t lodges the real issue as
Schermerhorn lodged it. Schermer-
horn, poor fellow, got dyspepsia and
suffered for seven years, though he
tried every remedy under the sun.
Finally he was advised to visit DR..
Deer, the great dyspepsia specialist.
deer will cure you, Schermerhorn.'
the mans friends said, but he'll make
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-06-16
BLANK CARTRIDGE,
A Southern RevoIutionist Who
Fell Into His Own Trap.
By OSCAR COX.

downright, 1910, by American Press Asso-
ciation.l
friend Of mine who had been Unit
al States consul in Central America
told me this story one evening while
we were smoking on the deck Of
steamer on our way from the isthmus
to New Orleans:
You've heard Of the Mancha family,
suppose, who did bigger business
at revolutionizing than any lot of men
who ever put out the sign "Revolu-
tons" in Central America. Well, Juan
Mancha, the oldest brother, was head
of the firm and was the keenest, the
foxiest rascal of the lot. His eye was
always on the loot. but he had the fac
ulty Of playing patriot with more emo
tional Accomplishments than any revo-
lutionizer in Central America / was
consul at Costa RIGA when Juan Man
cha engineered the revolution Of 49,
and knew all about the story Of Diaz
Valdez. the secretary Of state, who
finally went over to him with a satchel
containing half million dollars.
Mancha had got most Of the people
on his side and had stolen enough
money to send to New Orleans for a
cargo Of arms and ammunition. He
would have appropriated this find to
himself. but it wasn't enough. He was
not small dealer in revolutions, but
big one. usually aiming for some
thing like a million or two. But he
was in need of more funds when Val
DEE, thinking that he was sure to win.
concluded to go over to him.
Sonora Valdez was mighty pretty
and q mighty bright woman. She had
been a great coquette before Valdez
married her and hadn't outgrown the
habit, though you'll! see from what I'm
going to tell you that she was true to
her husband. Well. Valdez told his
wife one day that Maneha was sure to
win in the end and that they'd better
arrange to go over. He suggested that
she go to Mancha and tell him that her
husband was ready to join him with
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-06-16
TAKE HIM OUT AND SHOOT HIM"

TAKE HIM OUT AND SHOOT HIM..
100000. But Valdez didn't wish to
be considered a deserter from the ex-
listing government. To avoid this Ohio
guy he would be on certain day at
certain village midway between the
government and the insurgent forces,
and Mancha could send out a dozen or
so mounted men and capture him.
Sonora Valdez was to secure Mancha's
promise to permit the secretary and
herself to take passage for the United
States with 100000 Of the 100000,
the remaining 100000 to go to the
cause of the revolution"
This was very nice and looked like
very safe scheme to the secretary,
but his wife, who was brighter than
he, couldn't see why Mancha should
be content with 100000 when he could
as well have the whole sum. How
ever, she volunteered to go and make
the deal. So, giving out that she was
Ill and shut up in her home. she went
under cover Of the night to Marcha's
lines and in the morning, raising
white handkerchief on stick In sight
Of the revolutionary vedettes, was tax
en- in and conducted to Mancha.
Now, Sonora Valdez did not propose
to have her husband give himself up
until she had swept those handsome
but keen eyes Of hers about her ana
learned something of the situation.
The revolutionary army at that par
tcular point consisted Of between lOO
and 200 men, and with a view to 1nsur-
ing her husbands safety she made up
her mind to capture it. I don't mean
that she, a woman, would take SO
many men prisoners, but she would
win them to do her bidding In case OF
need. She didn't work openly before
Mancha's very eyes, but secretly ana
principally among the officers, espe-
cially the commander In chief. hall
breed Spaniard and Aztec not twenty
five years old. whom she proceeded 10
tie up In bowknot.
When she had made due preparation
she sent messenger. or, rather, Man
cha did. telling Valdez to be at the ap-
pointed place the next night. At the
time agreed upon Valdez was there,
quietly sleeping, 80 1t was supposed. at
an Inn, when troop Of revolutionary
soldiers swooped down on the place
aud carried him OF. he reached the
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-06-16
Champ Clark on Himself.

Champ Clark on Himself.
Champ Clark's ambition to become
a member Of congress was born when
he was a ragged, barefooted youngster
in Kentucky.
The minority leader told about that
ambition in the house the other day,
and 1t made pretty good story, until
Speaker Cannon came along and in
jected some sensational utterances into
the proceedings, whereupon the re-
marks of Clark were almost overlook
ed. He was kicking about an appro-
priation for the maintenance Of the
speakers automobile and referred to
the expenses of maintaining the gov
eminent.
Il am as proud Of my seat" said Mr..
Clark, "as any man here. I will stay
here If 1 cen get $500 a year, and I
would stay here If you cut the salary
down tomorrow to $1,000 a year. I
would stay If you cut it down to 1900,
If you cut it down to $4,000 would
stay here If you took the salary away,
as long as had bank account enough
to stay. That Is because like the
service here. It Is the thing that l
looked forward to from time that I
can scarcely remember, when I was
poor. barefoot. ragged boy hoeing
corn on a rock hill in Kentucky.
II had never seen lawyer, had
never seen congressman, had never
seen a courthouse, but made up my
mind then that was going to be
lawyer and that l was going to be
member Of the house Of representa-.
lives, and made good on both propo-
sitions. The picture Of that little am
bilious boy, working as hired hand,
dreaming of the day when be was to
he here, abides with me to this day
and will abide with me forever" -
Washington Times.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-06-16

sCHERMERHoRN SEIZED HIM By BOTH
HANDS.
you pay, by lingo. Yes, he'll make
you pay $25 for the first visit and
$3.50 for every subsequent visit
"Terrible!' groaned Schermerhorn.
TN die first And In a paroxysm Of
heartburn he gulped and shuddered.
But week or two later Schermer-
horns dyspepsia became acute and In
tolerable, and he set out for DR.. Deer's
after all. He was ushefed into the
consulting room, and In due course the
physician appeared.
'.Schermerhorn at his entry gave a
glad cry and jumped up and seized
him by both hands.
"'Well, doctor. here we are again.
he cried-'here we are AGAIN."
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-06-16
The initiated pebutante.

'aThat remark" said Senator Depew
as he dissected an opponents argu-
ment at dinner In Washington that
remark was malapropos.
ut was tn fact so malapropos that
1t reminded me Of the dainty debu-
tante, fresh as an April dawn. who
cried out at her first dinner party:
This pudding tastes just like mus
tache cosmetic
"And then when everybody stared
at her the debutante blushed % red -
Q peony."
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-06-16
The Witty Chauffeur.

"They are ready chaps, these taxi
drivers said Senator Depew at din
ner in Washington. Zone Of them, in
spirited, no doubt, by the tip I'd given
him, said to me affably the other day:
81 just had an old lady from the
country for fare, sir. She asked me
when she got out what was the proper
name for the driver Of a taxicab. !
said to her, said l, '.Taxidermisf,
ma'am."
"Then the driver gave loud laugh,
winked and added:
az was stuff1n' her, you see, SIR
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1910-06-16

A well managed farm is the best
source of wealth nowadays. The
farmer is the man of substance and
influence and there is no healthier
life than his. Invest your money
in farm and you will feel indie
pendent. The firm that handles
Real Estate regularly as business
ought to know something about
property values.
We have made a speciality of the
business for a great many years
and recognize a bargain when we
see it. We offer choice selection
Of Stevens Co. farm lands in suit
able locations and at tempting bar
gains.
You will admit that it is we'll
worth while to have our experience
as guide. We can show good
land at $40 per acre. other at SIS
and up to $25. If looking for farm
land or small tracts. call or write
for our list.
Newport Wash. Land Co.
Newport. Wash.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-08-13
NEGRO PAYS DEATH
PENALTY FOR CRIME

Centreville August 12.-(Special.)-
At noon today Sheriff ]. G. Oakley
sprung the trap which sent the form
of folly Mason toward the ground ana
to his death. Mason's neck was broken
by the fall and within IL minutes after
the condemned mans fall he was pro-
nounced dead by the attending ply
sicians.
The execution was carried to a finish
without a hitch. The condemned man
showed remarkable nerve and did not
finch even when the black cap was
adjusted. When upon the scafrold he
made a talk of 10 minutes in which
he told his version of the killing for
which he was condemned to be hung.
He advised his race to obey the law
and keep out of trouble and told his
brother to raise his children right.
Mason killed Richard Meigs, a re-
spectacle white citizen of Bibb coun-
ty about IS months ago. He was tried
at special term of the circuit court,
convicted and sentenced to hang. The
case was appealed to the supreme court
and the judgment of the lower court
was affirmed.
treville today but there was not the
least disorder. The body of the dead
man was turned over to his relatives
for burial This was the first hanging
in Bib county in 10 years.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-08-13
TEACHERS INSTITUTE
Great Interest Manifested In Alexander
City Meetings

Alexander City. August 12.-(Special.)-
Splendid interest Is being sustained in
the Fifth congressional district institute
Yesterday President C. w. Daugette of
the Jacksonville Normal college was pres
ent and gave very illuminating address
on the subject of geography teaching by
modern methods.
At night j. Thomas Hefin addressed
about 800 members of the. institute and
their friends, making an unusually
strong appeal to the people to educate
and educate highly If they are to keep
abreast of the states in the march OF
progress.
"And we must educate said the speak
er, "if we wish to share with foreign
capitalists the benefits to be derived from
the development of our own wonderful
natural resources. Otherwise our own
people will become the servants and la
borers to feed fat the enterprise of
strangers"
Tonight there is to be an educational
mass meeting for the discussion of local
taxation and the consolidation Of schools
This county, Tallapoosa, is soon to vote
on the resubmission of the 1-rnill tax
for schools. According to present indica-
lions there will be but little opposition
to the measure.