New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-04-18
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

I'M a AIN OE III Dih.
One OF the guards on a subway train an
nounced the other morning that he believed
he had awakened more sleeping passengers
than any other man I'm the service. Most
of his trouble. he says, has been in arOus-
ing sleeping Staten Islanders at the South
Ferry end of the tube I'm the late evening
and early morning hours. The Atlantic
avenue end In Brooklyn ranks next when 1t
comes to clearing a train for the return
trip. on any trip. north or south. home
bound merymakers leave anywhere from
FIVE to fifteen requests with the guards TO
be awakened at their proper stations. DC
casionalIy there is a cigar by way of-ap-
probation. but more often this special ser
vice is regarded as something which the
company pays its men for doing. Should
any mistake be made and a passenger be
carried past his station there is usually
substantial quantity of abuse for the meg
lectful'' guard. accompanied by threats 10
write to the management. the taking OF
badge numbers or yelled intimations that
the neglected" sleeper Is close personal
friend OF the president OF the road and
may have a man discharged at any time
Besides all these troubles. the guards have
to contend with persons who, when aroused.
fight viciously in a half stupor. Others
there are who have TO be carried bodily 10
the platform, and still others who insist
upon being carried back to their station
without paying another fare. All OF this
the guards take good-naturedly, for. as the
seIf-confessed record breaking awakener
explained. They're like a bad horse
they're just ugly and can't help II"
Muriel Gust back from the COntinent)-
Well, Tom, I'm engaged 10 seven dukes
marquis, eleven counts and nine grandecs
Cousin Tom-What?i7!?i?!?
Muriel-Oh it's all one fellow. He's
Spaniard. you know--lllustrated Bus
In the competition among high school stu
dents OF the country for the prizes offered
by the National Municipal League. fifty
two essays on THE Municipal Problem in
America" were submitted. This competi-
ton. which was first proposed a few months
ago and probably will be a yearly event
to promote interest I'm municipal questions,
was a most interesting feature of the
leagues work. Lois Cleveland Gould, OF
Sioux City. Iowa. won the first prize CT SO.
Gilbert Vivian Seldes. OF the senior class
OF the Boys Central High School, OF Phila-
delphia, won the second prize Of SO. Maud
G.. Malcolm, Of the Lafayette High School,
OF Buffalo. received honorable mention.
THE GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY.
II you have little secret
That is weighing on your mind,
Do not hunt up policeman
When to confidence inclined.
Uncle Sam provides a better
And more convenient plan;
WhatsO'er may be your worry,
Tell it TO the census man.
Do not seek the publication
Where advice is given free;
Here's a listener all in waiting,
And safe as safe can be.
If the years begin to fret yOus
Measuring off life's narrow span,
Even this Will be kept secret
II you tell the census man.
OF your friends and your relations
You may talk TO him at will.
You may tell him of the children
And of servants. Stanch and still
He will hear your little story.
And will do the best he can
To be kind and sympathetic
Tell IL TO the census man.
Washington Star.
Plans for greater Berlin have been /
worked out al the result Of a prize compe-
tition among leading architects, builders
and town planners. Prizes OF $500 each /
have been awarded for schemes which peer
three generations into the future and con-
template the Berlin that will be in the
year 200. which is fixed a the period when
the capital will TEEN with a population OF
100000. Meantime. It is estimated that
trade and traffic Will have tripled by 1920 \
and that the population will then be 400
600. or double the present total. In 1850 .
the total will reach $4,000. and in 1915 IT
Will aggregate 8250.0oc. I'm a population
Of 100000 say the professors who capt
ured the second prize, we divine a great 4
peril for Berlin. peril for which we must 4
be prepared" 1t is proposed 10 avert this
danger by plan TO regulate the constrIc-
ton Of street buildings and parks so care
fully that overcrowding viii practically be
impossible.
Lady (who has been shOpping)-When
does the next train leave for Oshkosh?
Tr6inman-TwO-fifty, madam.
Lady t-mindedly)-Make II 2:4S and /
III take lt.-Chicago News.