The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1910-02-22
TO RID
Ashland Of A Well Known
Manufacturer
Judge GrOSSCup Tell How He
Induced Friend
To Take A Trip To Include
The Sahara
Frank {. Myers viii Show
His Companion
That He Is Up And Doing In
Pump Business

Ashland, o., Feb. 21-Judge Gross.
cup, of Chicago, Is former Ashland
county man, which accounts for the
following which he has handed to his
old friend, f. 10. Myers, of Ashland:
"Pm not going to Africa to be a
Peter s. Grosscup yesterday. II have
Mt the least ambition to slay lions or
revel in the blood of hippopotami. My
errand there is humane one. l am
setting forth ON this hazardous sew
enty-day prilgrimage in order to rid
the little city of Ashland, Ohio, of
the worst human pest that ever COM
munity was cursed with.
THAT pest, 1t grleved me to say, Is
my old school friend, Frank E. Myers.
Myers makes pumps for living; or
rather pumps is the life of Myers, be-
cause Myers Is obsessed by them. He
talks pumps night and day. He
thinks pumps and dreams pumps. He
has got the people of his home town
so surfeited with pumps that its got
to point where Myers has got to
leave Ashland or Ashland will move
out in a body and leave him.
II have been working on Myers for
months trying to persuade him to get
was only u week ago that | finally
succeeded The way of it was this:
got to talking to him one day and
the conversation quite unexpectedly
drifted around to the subject of the
Sahara desert.
"'That ought to be fine country
for pumps, Myers suggested.
"That gave me an idea.
you're wrong, Frank said,
where did you get that absurd no
tion. They know more about pumps
down In that country than you, with
all your modern wisdom, ever dream
cd OF. Pumps in the Sahara are the
staff of life; out here in Ohio they are
only an art, a diversion. II you ever
get into the Sahara you'll pick up
lot of information about pumps. It's
too bad you can't take a trip over
there because from what people here
in Ashland ell me, you've got ter
rlble lot to learn on that subject
well, that rather got under My.
ers' skin. Say, he said, do you
think that bunch OF m,immies and has
beens can tell me anything about
pumps? Why, my good man. I've con-
secrated my whole life to the study
Of pumps, know all that 1t is posi-
Bile for any human being ever to know
about them, Why, II / ever drifted
into that country and stayed month
there'd be Myers pump on every
corner lot in the Sahara
Don't get excited, Frank. Don't
let your enthusiasm make you say
something you'll be sorry for. Don't
you know that the Pharaohs were
making pumps before your little mod
ern upstart of great-great.grandfath.
er was born? Why, the newborn babe
in the Sahara inherlts from his par
ents more accumulated pump wisdom
than you've picked up in your whole
career.
THAT made Frank SO mad that he
walked right off without word and
left me. ] didn't see him again for
two days. Then he suddenly stopped
me on the street and, without another
word, said; i don't care rap what
the Pharaohs do, make the greatest
pumps in the world You see he had
been brooding,
Frank said with smile OF
pity that must have made his blood
boil, 4 see there's only one way to
disilluslon you, You'll have to so to
the Sahara and see for yourself
Name your day. he said, bristling
like porcupine.
"'Monday or Tuesday OF next
week. shot right back at him.
you're on he said, and turned
right around and left me-
well, that's the way of 1t. I've I'm
ally got Myers UP here, the tickets
are all bought and tomorrow or the
next day we start for New York and
from there take the Cunard liner Car
olina for Alexandria, From there