Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-01-29
BILLY,s CORRESPONDENCE.

BILLY'S CORRESPONDENCE.
Dear Tom: Did you ever notice a
pouter pigeon expand on a bright sum-
mer morning? Well, you ought to look
your Uncle bud over. l have reached
the fireside, but at that It don't seem
to me that the boat is sailing smoothly
yet. | don't mind telling you her name
now. It's Gertrude. | suppose you'd
/ spell it Cert, but the abbreviation would
never ride with her She's strong to
| the proper. know we are going to get
along nicely, but I'm afraid there's go
! ing to be maternal interference.
don't wish to pass judgment too early
in the campaign, but something hap
pened on the joyous evening in queS-
ton that caused me to feel that my
/ tracks had been oiled-in other words,
| that 1 was slipping. Gertrude and
! had passed probably an hour and half
| together-it seemed like about eight
| seconds TO me-When she broke into
/ Shakespearean lead-trying me out on
my noodle, l guess. She's a great ad
mirer of the old boy that is having all
the bouquets passed to him after he's
dead for having put over the heavy
| lines that our famous scenery-eaters
have built regulations upon. She
| thought it a shame that Julius Caesar
should have been pushed into the dis
card at the zenith of his career, and
she just raved over Marc Antony's
speech. You remember, he's the chap
with the big voice who shook up the
mob that got Brutus' goat Being a
little hazy on my Shakespeare, I could
not quite appreciate Gertie's enthus-
iasm over Antony's address, and she
was so interested in it, and so DESTROYS
that my memory be refreshed on it,
that she was about to go to the library
and get the story and read it for my
benefit. when l heard heavy sigh as
/ though someone was about to cash in.
1t came from the adjoining room where
| we were seated. 1t was from mother.
She was supposed by us to have been
reading. 1t was exactly $50. Mother
asked Gertrude for the time, although
the beautiful old house clock was
hanging on the wall right before her
eyes ticking away with its accustom-
ed accuracy. / noticed a slight blush
come to the left cheek of Gertrude. Of
course you know | don't have to be run
down by a train of cars to wake me
up. Well, we postponed the Shakes
pearean recital. l located my chapeau,
and did the best l could in making my
getaway. Mother, to my surprise, came
to the door, and acted as though she
was all broken up at the thought of
my leaving so early. She said Ger
trude's other friends never left until
| 11-kind of rubbing it in a bit, l reclk-
on. | said that had a regular SEIZED
ule and that invariably l read an hour
or longer at home every night before
retiring. She glanced at me as though
| that did not go down. l could tell by
the way she looked me over that she
had had full reports from the sledge-
swingers' union.
My greatest handicap appears to be
in not having an opportunity to have
heart to heart talk with the girl
away from earshot of her mother. |
am confident that / could then get
away on the right foot The evening
I passed at her home l was conscious
all the while of the presence of the
fond mamma. I'll wager she never
read a line. She was there to get an
ear full. But disappointed her. Now
and then / tossed an easy ball that I
knew she could get even though she
was half way into Sunderland. /
commented on how artistically the wall
pictures were arranged. Gertrude re-
marked that it was done under moth
er's supervision. l answered l knew
that right off the reel. passed other
little asides that, If she has any heart,
will make the going easier for me than
1t would ordinarily We talked of sew
eral of the fellows. and Gertrude was
bending toward the pan occasionally
when l would sidetrack her with a few
kind words for the absent brother.
You know this slamming business don't
carry you towards the desired goal. If
you can't say good of them, just pass
without voting. I'm for the Australian
ballot when it comes to telling where
you stand on the records of your fell
lows. Gertrude, l learned, has a bank
account. She told me all about it. Her
father, as hipped you in a previous
letter, is long on land. He's rarely at
home. Spends most of his time count
ing the haystacks and corn piles out
west. She's the only child. Well,
father makes her a monthly allowance.
and pays her bills besides. | gathered
she's pincher. While she did not
cough squarely on the proposition.
inferred that she would be more inter-
ested in the fellow with the green's
than the fellow without them, all 9TH
er considerations being equal You can
see where that puts me, unless the
wheel turns out different cards for me
in the early future. The big loafer
that wears the frat pin, as 1 said be-
fore, is a candidate for huge bank
roll some day. 1 brought up his name,
but l couldn't get a rise on him. l /