The sun., 1910-01-31

funny. doesn't it2 rented one last week
woman in the next block was expecting
company from the West. They were
bringing a baby along-a baby that was
used to cradle and couldn't sleep in any
thing else. The woman knew nothing about
the size OF the child, so she couldn't figure
on the size OF the cradle. She hoped he
WASH { very big, beca use her fiat is nothing
but bandbox. She picked out the smallest
cradle ehe could find. The boy turned out
to be a regular buster. He slept one night
with his tootsies doubled up under his
ohin. The next day they swapped Tor
bigger CRADLE"
Beer drinkers who send small boys
around the corner to get a pint" had
better be on the lookout for a new kind
Of graft. especially IL they employ a
certain boy who may get to be a mill
ionaire some day IL Jail doesn't stop
him. This boy when buying beer passes
through streets that are infested with
persons who cannot AFFORD a pint. A
swallow would rsvivify them. and it is
a swallow the boy provides. On each
trip he carries a small wine glass. When
he spies a man who looks as IL he might
he thirsty he exhibitsethe foaming pail
tantalizingly and says: Give you a swal-
low for cent"
The offer is accepted, the glass Is filed
and drained and the pail delivered to
his original customer, who either takes
no notice OF the deficiency. or. noticing it,
blames the bartender for short measure.
The fire alarm sounded and a vagrant
who had been huddled in a dark hallway
crspt out and joined the crowd hurry
ing to the midnight fire. Presently others
Of his fraternity appeared.
why do all you Johnnies always
break your necks to get to a fire?- said
man who was something of fire fiend
himself.
The vsgrant pointed to a woman who
was emerging from a nearby apart
ment house carrying a pail of steamlng
coffee.
There's the answer he said. AT
every winter fire that gives the f1rsRen
hard tussle the women Of the neigh
borhood bring out coffee and sandwiches
to brace them up. Sometimes the fire.
men have time to snatch a bite, some
times they don't, Anyhow there is
sure to be something left over, and the
women-well, it's a hard hearted woman
that won't give a poor devil cup OF
coffee a night like this"
The man kept an eye on his candid
derelict. He got two cups Of coffee and
two sandwiches.
do you know that there is almost as
much hunger among the very rich in
New York as there is among the very
poor, in proportion to the size of the
classes?" said a physician the other day.
1T all comes from trying to get slender,
and may say is largely confined to the
women. Why. not so very long ago a
friend OF mine, a specialist. was called in
to see a woman who had millions in her
own right. Her own physician had not
been able TO determine what was the
matter with her. The specialist looked
Madam, he said. you are starving to
death. All | would prescribe for you
would be few hearty meals"
A certain police commander once made
the boast that he could hang his gold
watch on a lamppost in his precinct
and it would remain there unmolested,
such terror was he to crooks.
It wouldn't be safe to leave the tfmepiece
there nowadays, even IL il was screwed
into the post, is the opinion If the park
who have had TO pay $50 to
give President Chester A. Arthur's statue
In Madison square park another pair
Of bronze spectacles.
The original pair. which were held in
the statues right hand. were stolen over
night. II was the oldest theft OF park
a
Of bronze gates from Central Park several
years ago. The gates weighed 900 pounds.
At Salvation Army headquarters the
other day. when the bread line" with
its waits and strays Of hungry humanity
was fling past the officer who has charge
of the relief department and receiving
The tickets which are redeemed at the
armys restaurant. richly dressed
woman entered. Going up TO the heed
OF the depar artment she greeted him with
Good morning, Mr.. Salvation Army.
Here is something to help along your
work handing him an envelope.
The officer thanked her and asked for
her name, so that receipt for the money
might be sent.
-Oh, no receipt is necessary, she re-
piled and passed out.
After she had left the officer opened
the envelope and almost tainted. II
contained two bills for 81 600 each and
one for $500.
Every Tuesday during the last month
student teas have been given at Columbia
and professors' wives are
expected to sacrifice themselves on
social altar. They do the best they can.
hut sometimes ii is very difficult to find
subjects for conversation. One good
hearted lady had been struggling with
a stold freshman from the middle West
for over half an hour without discovering
one topic OF mutual interest. Finally in
despair she said:
-bo tell me, Mr.. Smith. what you are
Interested in"
The freshman pondered for a while
and then answered in a solemn voice:
"The French horn. madam"
Let's stand here awhile and see what
happens to that fool man who has his
hand inside the bars feeding the black
BEARS one visitor remarked to another
in the zoo.
Other visitors stopped to look at the
man feeding the bears ginger cakes from
his hand. The animals were hungry and
pushed one another in their efforts to get
the dainty. Very gently they put their
mouths to the mans open hand and took
the morsels. At the end OF ten minutes |
nothing serious had happened and the |
onlookers passed on.
1T was a foolhardy thing TO do all the |
,ame, and the man was simply lucky that |
he did not have his hand mangled.- said |
the first spokesman to his companion. |
Bears are the most uncertain OF pets and |
turn on their human friends without |
NJ ruinO and through nIIra dqviItrv