The Holbrook news., 1910-03-25
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!
 She (reading) And so they were
 married and that was the last of
 their troubles Him (sotto voce)-
 Last, but not leasti-Cleveland Lead
 CT.
 That man has broken more records
 than anyone else ever heard of" "A
 runner?" No; he owns a grapho-
 phone. Stanford University Chapar-
 ral. Highland Ferryman (during momen-
 tary Hull in the storm)-Im thenkin',
 sir, I'll just talk yer fare; there's no
 sayin' what micht happen tae us.-
 Punch.
 Teacher-B-a-i-t; what does that
 spell? Tommie-Don't know, ma am. Teacher-Why. what do you catch fish with? Tommy-Oh, worms!-Yonkers
 Statesman
 Tt seems to me that I have seen you before." You have, my lord.
 used to give your daughter singing lessons" Twenty years" ."-Cassell;s Saturday Journal
 T have a chance to marry an old man who has lots of money" Why don't you?" He hasn't any bad hab- its. and comes of long-lived family" Chicago Record-Herald.
 'I'll work no more for that man Do Ian" An why?" "Shure, 'tis on account av remark he made" An phwat was that?" Says he. Casey, says he, we're discharged"
 The Lady-My 'usband, sir, 'as sent me to say e won't be able to come and do the little job you arst i'm to; 'e's promised to go round the town with the unemployed. A. P.
 Mrs. Gramercy-I feel so wretched. I found a dark hair on the suit my husband wore last summer Mrs. Park Don't worry, dear. If you remember. your hair was dark last year.-Lippin- cott's.
 An automobile enthusiast proposes the building of motor road from the Atlantic to the Pacific, with road houses and garages every five miles. Why omit hospitals ?-New York Even ing Post.
 "Gee!" said the observing small boy, when I grow up I'm going after a political job" What for?" asked the man. Sos I can go to the ball games every afternoon" he replied.-Detroit Free Press.
 Conceited Bridge Player-Come here and sit by me, Kittie. You can learn a good deal by watching my game. Kittie Quicktongue-No, thanks l never could profit by other peoples 
 Blobbs-At the next station we stop ten minutes for refreshments. Slobbs Il wonder why trains stop only ten minutes at railroad eating houses. for humane reasons. Record.
 Farmer Smallseed-Listen to this, Elviry. This paper says that they nave found in Italian prisons the pet flied remains of some of the prison ITS. His Wife-Do tell! Them mus De them hardened criminals we hear. Weekly.
 Things look rather run down around ere," remarked the man who had just after many years to his na- i've village" Run down? l should ay so," replied the friend of his outh. There's 2 motor car comes through here about every three min Ites."
 Mother-Johnny, you said you'd been 0 Sunday school? Johnny (with far way look)-Yes, mamma. Mother low does it happen that your hands nell of fish? Johnny-I carried home he Sunday school paper, an the out Ide page is all about Jonah andxth Christian Advocate.
 Mother (viciously scrubbing her mall boys face with soap and water) Johnny, didn't I tell you never to lacken your face with burnt cork gain? Here I have been scrubbing alf an hour and 1t won't come off. oy (between gulps)-I -uch! ain't our little boy-uch! Tse Nose, dc olored lady's boy.
 Now, MT. Blank" said a temper. nee advocate to a candidate for mu- lcipal honors, "I want to ask you lestion Do you ever take alco- ,lic drinks?" Before I answer the lestion," responded the wary candi- ate. "I want to know whether 1t is It as an inquiry or as an invitation" Philadelphia Inquirer. Did you ever stop to think, my ar," said MT Micawber, gazing at $ plate of lobster salad, that the ings which we love most in this life e the very things that never agree lth us?" will you be so kind," id Mrs. Micawber, "as to tell me neither you are speaking of the salad
 of me, sir ?'-Tit-Bits.