The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-01-20

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Howard-Mrs. Holmes gets on much
better with her husband than she used
to. coward-same ndg-Life.
~ls that your mother-inlaw over
there. smiling AZ your" NO. II she's
smiling At me Il Isn't my mother-in'
law
Sheer course. I'm not as old as
you think ! am. Hell hope not-I
mean you can't be-that is-how old
are yons
He's got no license 10 talk the way
be does" ~Oh. he's got a license ali
right What he lacks is a muzzle -
Cleveland Leader.
An optimist is one Of them chaps.
I guess says Uncle Sim. who don't
care a hang what happens 30 longs
u don't happen ter him"
Lafan-Y You are rich enough TO buy
an automobile. Why don't you do ~
0rofat-Because I'm not RICH enough
70 own ons.-chieago Tribune.
THAT fellow seems TO be extraya,
CANT ''Hopelessly. lie spends his
own money Jus, as II Il we're the gov
srnment's. Louisville courier-Jour-
nal
z n going TO marry Dick why.
you told me you weren't in love with
him I'm not. but I've just heard
that a Rirl ! hate isl--clereland
Leader.
What do you think. my dear: Such
iucki We leave for Paris in an hour
-RsAilyT' Yes. we're going TO Pas
tours Ny husband has just been bit
ten BY mad dog bon yivanL
why are children 50 much worse
than they used TO be = Il attrlbuss Il
10 improved ideas in building" How
ser -shinglss are scarce. and you
can't spank a boy with a Tin root
~And aid you really 90 70 Romsy-
asked the guest Il really don't know.
nay dear replied the hostess. Just
returned from her nrst trip abroad.
''You sss. my husband always bouEht
The tieksss-
Mr.. HiKhbrow-If was Micbslef.
believe who observed that woman is
ths ssif Of a mans life Miss Keen
Quite trusf Young men arsn't half 20
fr~sA after thsy set msrrisd--Bosion
Trxnscrfp<
Hello. mate. 'ow "a II you Amt
workin'r-
We'll. it's like this; works In a
domino factory. and / 2nts on the
spo<x. and they're making double
blanks to-dAyi-
Weary Billism-whkt did ye tell
dsf lady when abe asked 70 II ys wuz
equal 10 de task o. sawin' woodf Tat
tsred Tcm--r toll her dat equal wuzn't
De word. wus superior 10 it-chk
eaxo Daily Nsws
MY steady looks exactly like Apol-
loi~ sighed the sentimental one.
THAT Amt nRrthsn'.- shifted the issz
OF the glove counter. MY beau Ia thu
original for the Peerless Perfection
Dress shirt ada~-Puck.
why did that picture coat 30
muchf- well answered Mr. Cum
rox. TO tell you the truth. have an
idea It's because the dealer who sold
II to me is good business man
Washington Evening Star.
Clear out O here. ye sassy little
brnfi" shouted the cook. humping the
table with n rolling-pin. The little
sirl gave the cook a naughty look.
4 never allow anyone but my mother
to speak to me like that" she said.
Judge ts,srniy Three times in a
MONTH What do you make Of this.
sirs RAstus (apoiogsticaliy) Deed
| doan' make nufin'. You fellows up
here seem 10 be de only ones dat get
any 'cu.isry profit out Of hauling me
Her-oreat heavens, My worst
fears are realised Him-What on
sarth's the mztterf Her-rve got
telegram Him-Ycs-ycsl What
DOES n say7 Hor--I don't know.
haven't dared TO open Il yetl-clevs
land Leader.
''scieKSists have decided that Ne
thuselah was only seventy-ninc years
oid.~ THAT lH more Hike t. Il 10
absurd to suppose that any man could
have lived to the age OF 800 years"
oh. | don't know-there we're no au-
iomobiles in those days.-Houston
Post.
Jim" said an honest coal dealer
% one Of his drivers; Jim. make that
on Of coal two hundred pounds short.
L Is for a poor. delicate widow. and
he viii have to carry all Of It up
Two hight OF stairs. don't want her
% overtax her strength. "-Phlladel-
,hia Kronikle.Herald.
Pompano- Why do You work so
,ard. Bagleyg You slave from morn
ng until night.
Bagiey--I know do. wish to set
-lch. / want TO die worth million.
Pompano- Well, there's no account
nR for tastes. Now, would much
refer to live worth half million ,
Call.
well. hudson, how did you make