The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-09

HALEY, they said, was 1t?
Did anybody here see Haley,
And throw comet fit?
Did anybody here see Haley,
HALEY. that starry josh?
Did anybody here see Haley,
And feel his passing wash:
Did ANYBODY here see HALEY,
HALEY whom all of us know?
hid ANYBODY here see HALEY,
HalIey and his bobtail show?
Did anybody here see Haley,
HALEY they'd billed to come
With show that was worth the money,
But. oh! say, wasn't it bum?
Did anybody here see Haley?
If anybody did, by heck!
He onght to be bounced If he didn't
Hand him one in the neck.
w. J. hampton, in New York Tribune
A Division of Labor.
Robby had been unusually quiet tol
saveral hours-SO quiet, indeed, tnat NE
mother began to worry over the grea'
quantities of stiffness that came IRON
the room in which he was sitting. Final
w unable TO stand the strain any longer
She rose ND from her work and went into
"What are you doing, Bobby?" she
said. as she discovered the little chaL
curled I'D in a chair with a very solemn
| expression on his face.
ssThinkin' and wishin'," replied Bobby
"What about. dearF' asked his
mother.
| if I was twins" he answered. ether
the other one could do the studyin' al
school and / could stay home and play
and then. when l did something naughty
why. you could spank him. When I was
sick he could take the castor oil and
''And when you had some candy, what
then?' asked his mother.
"Oh, I'd eat it, said Bobby. 81
wouldn't do for me to let him get sick.
Judges Library.
49,
Why 1t Shrieked.
'Did you hear the shrek that engine
gave as it flew by?" asked the frs
man, as they approached a railroad
| crossing.
Eyes. What caused it?' rejoined his
companion.
Il presume the engineer had it by the
| throttle smart Set.
| -+-
Unexpected.
That's fine umbrella you are carry
ing"
''Th-thank you
For whatT
For not claiming it.''-ClevelanC
Plain Dealer.
A Careful Guide.
| In his early days Sir Walter Gilbey
used to devote some portion of every
year to mountain climbing. While il
| Switzerland once he had a somewhat
weird experience. He was about tt
make an ascent when he thought that he
might as well make some inquiries about
III. j. 30 I.
''Is he a thoroughly skillful climber 2
he asked his hotel keeper.
Il should say SO" was the reply. 'He
has lost two parties of tourists down
the mountainside, and each time has
come off without so much as a scratch
on himself. London M. A. P.
49,
Persuasion.
! First Suffragette - Do you consider
militant methods the best way to cal
attention TO your cause?
| Second Suffragette-Why not?
brick might possibly catch the eye
Life.
The Lively Squirrel.
| An old negro who lives in the country
came into town and saw an electric fan
for the first time in his life. The whirl-
ing object at once attracted his attention
and after gazing at it for several min
utes with the greatest astonishment and
curiosity he turned to the proprietor OF
the shop and said:
"Say. boss, dat suttenly is lively
squirrel you got in dis yeah cage, but
he's sho'ly goin' to bus his heart if he
keep on maxim dem revolutions so fas'!'
,-Housekeeper.
Disappointment at Reception.
Departing Visitor (disappointedly),
''Hang it, I've got my own hat after
allr'-M. A. 2.
A Literal Fate.
whats become of Jakes?'
Hes gone all to pieces
''You don't say so! Nervous prostra-
tion?'
mo: he looked for a gas leak with a
lighted candle. Baltimore American.
49,
Her Gifts Were Costly.
ga bouquet from Lieutenant Braun.
(To the maid Must have cost twenty
marks, at least. Why, a poem with it,
as well!'
Servant-That cost more still. fraeu-
lein.-Fliegende Blaetter.
49,
Some Poetry Pays.
"Who is the gentleman seated in the
large touring carp
''That is the poet laureate of a we'll
known biscuit factory. ''-Birmingham
Age-Herald.
>$.~
Seasonal.
First Overcoat-What is your fate?
Second Overcoat-Camphor ball or
three balls.-New York Sun.
49,
First Aid for the Pup.
Pet-Are you reading the Ladies'
Home paper, Granny?
Granny-Yes, pet.
Pet-Then L wish you'd turn to where
it tells you how to get ink stains out of
pug dogs.-The Sketch.
And That Set Him Thinking.
81 always feel, after have spent an
hour or two in your company he said,
''that am better man."
''It is very good of you to say so,' she
replied. ''Don't hesitate to come often"
Chicago Record.
80
A Western Scion.
Prosecuting Attorney (Frozen Dog
Your honor the sheriff's bull pup has
gone and chawed up the court Bible!
Judge-Well, make the witness kiss the
bull pup, then! We can't adjourn court
for week Just to hunt up a new Bible!
San Antonio Scimitar.
49,
T off TT IN tha Dauohter