The daily sentinel., 1910-07-21


Simon was born on December so,
1867, thus beating 1865 to il by two
days. That notable event occurred
in Philadelphia. Simon was educat-
ed in that city. Passing over the in
tervening years, during which Simon
learned how to add. subtract and null
tiply in the schools of Philadelphia-|
especially to add and multiply-we
discover the hero of this tale in Pu-
eblo in 1855 as the local manager"
OF papa 5 Philadelphia Smelling 4
Refining Company. Being local
manager was not a strenuous job.
To hold il down. one had TO see that
the Office chairs We're always in po-
sition and that no dissipated dollar
wandered away from there and lost
its bearings.
After Mr. Guggenheim-th re-
fers to the senatorial Guggenheim,
unless otherwise set forth-landed
in Denver he began to look about
him for an outlet for his energies
and accomplishments. Among other
things, he saw a lot Of puffy persons
attiring themselves in split-tail coats
and foregathering in central rendez-
vous. He observed that they gos-
siped. one with another. and drank
high-balls and nectar and got chum-
my-like; and it occurred to him that
these were of the elect and that he
wasn't.
There We're, among these chubby
| folk, a lot who had much gold and
lot of others who had epaulets. ST.
mon had the gold all right. but that
| didn't seem to carry him into the
charmed circle
well" he concluded. "lII go out
and get some braid Where is the
best braid market? What, For two
| yards of it? In real money? No,
No, again Give you four ninety
eight. That's all it's worth"
The year of 1896 was a kind OF
lean year, as YOU may recall Out
! Colorado way it was desperately skin
ny. This was the year that we want
ed the world to take the silver cure
| One of the very skinniest parties ever
exhibited was the silver republican
party. A political orphan, it had lit
tie or no attention and less nutri-
ment It was rickety. colicky and
understood. 1t wandered about in
the Rocky Mountain land like Jephet
in search of father, and nearly cried
! its little eyes out.
Out in the open stretches it met up
with Simon Guggenheim. who was
walking on the plains, near Boulder.
and trying to figure out why patent
pumps and a prefix to ones name
would beat a stack of yellows. The
silver republican party smiled on
: Simon and he was glad.
IF man is just called Cover
nor" 1t remarked insinuatingly. the
Silkfinishes and the Bullions, the
Vandykes and the Hyerups, will take
him over to their bungalows and feed
him fudge and make him one of
them And all the clubs will send
scouts to locate him and strong de-
tachments of the armored boys TO
drive him into camp
And maybe that don't sound real
good to us! Say,
why not get nominated" con-
tinued this silver siren. for lieuten-
LIANT governor? That carries the title,
and all you have to do is to preside e
over the Colorado state senate, which
is just as easy as making an outlaw
bronc come saddlewise"
How much?" suggested Simon. re-
verting unconsciously TO the primal
type.
Right at this point is where the
that historical crime of 1873 beaten
TO "A stiff froth. The exact figure is
not of record. There was bargaining,
of course, and some concession. as be-
fits these great transactions. Suffice
it to say that one Isaac-let us call
him Jones-tapped Mr. Simon Gug-
genheim, the Golden Keg, for fifty
thousand plunks; tapped him with a
battered bung-starter and made Mr.
Guggenheim believe that all this
money was necessary TO legitimately
finance that sorrowing and starving
orphan, the silver republican party.
Hail to the Chief" played the
band: Simon being the chief, from a
purely productive standpoint.
wat t'ell?" remarked the silver
republican party of Colorado the next
day. What will we do with him r.
Counseling. the leaders agreed that
Mr. Guggenheim was a good fellow
and that he certainly deserved that
nomination, but that wouldn't do.
They looked about for exits. And
then came to the fore an inspired
lawyer who discovered that Mr.. Gug-
genheim had been born in / SG7. that
this year of nomination was 1896,
and that. therefore, MIR. Guggenheim.
uilutl NIt Sldlt tbllSl u ullblr WAS III
eligible.
The state constitution" he said,
requires that a Colorado lieutenant
governor be thirty years of age" OF
course Mr.. Guggenheim wasn't TO
take office. even II elected. until the
beginning of the year 1897, when he
would have been of age. but that sim
pie fact wasn't broached to him
IT was "A sad crowd that Wpuded its
way up to Guggenheim the next day
following the great discovery" II
was tOuchingly fearful.
Really now Mr.. Guggenheim,
this is awful We are heart-torn.
To think that after we had worked
thus hard to nominate YOU; to think
that with the whole state screaming
for your leadership; TO think that
with This chance in hand We must
bow down to this relentless law and
I "a al ntt