The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1910-02-07

TX LISA the grand old sun-klss-
| "a 2lSH ed county of Henner-
| or SMIz NJ racker. have been
NhS4Sk rtxA owed Mt and saluted
IN a 1ailed. as 1t were, as a
lew political prophet
one in whose long and honorable ca
reer there Is not one beer stain.
"The trouble with you, Bill said
| friend who ambled up is that you
talk too much. Them reporters is
| making a fool of you. You goat so
| much that some folks thinks you are
a myth. They say that you Is either
| a bonehead or ghost.
I We'll 1 amt got no kick" replied
| Bill sharply, 80 long as l am quoted
correct. Besides. amt / getting plenty
] of free advertising for myseir and my
| rabbits? Some of my colleagues in the
House iumped on me to-day about that
| speech I made at Nishs eggnog party
| when I was pleading for ace-high
ideals. They said Ought not mix UP
patriotism and playing cards. but l
told them I had been misquoted, which
Is always the razzle dazzle of the public
man who is caught with the goods. l
denied it, but I'm here to say that !
said it, but that is Just between US.
Flonter Floats In.
"Rut to get back to my inauguration
as the floater. Before l left the farm
Nish made me dress up some. l wore
a claret necktie, a champagne colored
vest, wine colored pair of spats. and
my linen was as white as the foam on
beer My socks were like mixed ale.
On the way borrowed Buck RoyalIs
old lantern to find statesman, but
Senator Folkes told me all the states
men were in Hollywood.
We'll. to make a long story short,
stood up when the clerk told me to
take the oath. Thinking that the sig
nal I began to swear like cab driver.
but they checked me to say that all
had to do was to swear to defend the
Constitution Naturally, / refused to
do that until I could see II the Con-
stitution couldn't defend itself. At
the finish Dick Byrd told me I looked
SO fine he would put me on the Com
mittee on Manufacturing and Mani
curing and Taxation and TaXideriny.
Pretty soon a couple of ballroom. boys
came up to interview me, but l told
them to git tie" away. which they did.
"Mingling around with my old
friends found that being a lawmaker
is skinch But I've been busy
all day preparing new bills and maxi
ing notes for speeches. I've got to use
my eloquence and my influence to de-
feat that free and easy divorce bill.
It's this way. All my property is in
the name Of my wife. Nish. If 1t
passes l won't have the price of a
drink. But If you want to see real
man at work Just watch me when they
drag that Statewide boy out of the
barn. You don't know nothing till you
see me hit him. How? Why, I'm GO
ing to pass a law to prohibit blind
tigers. Listen to this. Bud: Once re-
move the blind-tiger-I mean remove
him good-and there won't be any
more demand for prohibition than a
jack rabbit. Cut off the secret flow Of
old booze and public will wonder why
1t hadn't stood for high license all the
time.
Hits Mt the CO1Onels.
Then I'm patron of bill to require
them colonies to wear their uniforms
all the time, the bill providing that
uniforms cart be removed without the
petition of all the qualified voters.
Having been repudiated by Mr..
Throckmorton I'm going to harpoon
his milk bill, principally, however, be-
cause Nish has sold our COWS, and II
the little Sklllitts are foolish enough
to drink milk instead Of liquor want
them to have that which Is properly
inspected. If Nish hadn't sold her
cows 1t would be me for cutting down
tho restrictions. And there's a whole
lot OF skillitt wisdom in that. Bud.
Then, there's another pet measure of
mine. which provides that If I set
man up to brandy smash and he.
reclprocating. sets mo up to thin
peer us felony, punishable by fine and
Imprisonment. Another Of my bills
calls Tor a bounty on rabbits and
wolves; another still provides for the
regulation and inspection of pie count
ers, which Is, to say that If man
GUS one pie into five instead of four
silces nc shall be guilty of felony.
ahu punished according to the rules
'hereof' am also going to demand a
REVISION OF setback rules. Speaker
pSru' VINO heard of my new laws. said
Nv 'ouiuht tell whether was an OPP
..nilst Or pessimlst. but told him
, ,nat l was neither-that old Bill Skill
lltt Is possumist. he is.
Trying TO Please Nlsh.
N!sh is also framing a few social
slatutes, one of which provides for
ene establishment Of q clearing house
mne.e you pay party calls She also
watts TO regulate tea drinking-mak-
ing II so that they cannot serve any
~ the afternoons unless 1t Is spiked.
we are going to change the rules so
la, s''h. CITIZEN of the grand old sun
Alsseu county of Hennerracker shall
no. DC put on probation, and that
Nuns SOD bless them, shall not be
REQUIRED TO pay polltax II the women
Min lnls battle of suffragettes want
e. 9, NUKE rye the proud emblem OF our
want to see two sprlgs or
i'ihl grow where one grew before IN
nvels schoohouse yard: INwant farm
IAHus improved to that point Where
: can plant an acre OF rye and get
, ,nore lAan half pint, And when !
~, ,,ne up and tell my colleagues apout
tn ~ narrow gagged Statewide phi
sne 'liiis Will echo with my eloquence,
anu , generations yet unborn VIII tetl
snelr children ana their chlldren's cIll-
u ~ mat BIN Skillitt,s honest thirst
20 more to be envied than goiu, yea,
, Even more than precious stones. !
, Wou'a rather cut off my right arm!
, ,,nm see one OF my constituents
, ra., or vote for prohibition. WINE
:. snat''he back at the same time 70 see
,,o NY ootlle Of ticker was safe, IN tll's
Ia. .