davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1910-03-23
POINTED PARAGRAPHS

How we blow when we begin to put on airs
 Lend man money and he will return for more.
 And many fair woman has taken a man by storm.
 Do not seek in others what you conceal in yourself.
 People with the telephone habit make busy man tired.
 You can't please yourself and your neighbors simultaneously.
 It's case of long suffering when giraffe has a sore throat.
 Ever know sneak thief to steal into house and take a bath? A politician isn necessarily straight because he refuses to unbend
 It isn't always those with weak eyes who look on the dark side of life.
 A woman isn't invariably as pretty as pie ture even if she is painted.
 Some men would rather make a dishonest quarter than earn an honest dollar. It isn't the tears a woman sheds m public that wear furrows in her complexion.
 A woman can generate as much interest in q church social as man can in prize fight. | The after effect is the worst thing about get ting drunk-likewise, also, about getting mar rled.
 A round hole in the center of compound mix ture of dyspepsia is but another name for a doughmt. A girl likes to have some one to make her blush, just to convince people that her complex ion is the real thing. The average woman can bluff almost any man but when it comes to bluffng some other woman well, that's another story. | And when young widow means business it is up to the wise bachelor to trek for the tall timber.
 The average man insists that he wouldn t do anything mean, yet there is lot of petty meanness in the world.
 If we ever publish dictionary, we will define molycoddle as man whose every act meets with approval of his wife $ mother.
 If a married woman is looking for trouble all she has to do is to read extracts to her husband from the letters he wrote her during their courtship.
 The man who attempts to grow fuzz on his bald pate hasn't any cause to lord it over his wife just because she spends few dollars for a hair switch.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1910-03-23

''I suppose some of your public addresses are matters of inspiration.
 "Not so much matters of inspiration" {" re- piled Senator SOrphum, ''as of respiration. !"
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1910-03-23

The whale gave up Jonah "Owing to the cost of living I cant afford meat" it explained. Herewith it returned to fish.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1910-03-23

Cleaning day is approaching and there are some parts of the city that need it bad. One cleaning day per year may do some backwards but there are many that need cleaning three or four times a week.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1910-03-23

''I am told that King Edward sends daily message to his chef complmenting him on his dinner'
 ''Yes, answered Nr. Crosslots, Eve are all of one common humanity. Even king has to go out of his way to jolly the cook"
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1910-03-23

A news dispatch says man has eloped With his mother-in-law Will he now have to contend with biscuits such as daughter used to make?
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1910-03-23

Bus-to kiss. Re-bus-to kiss again. Omni bus-to kiss all the girls in the room. E pluri- bus unum-1 ,000 kisses in line.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1910-03-23

An Omaha Methodist pastor recommends that all users of slang be quarantined as though af- ficted with contagious disease. It would be an easier job to segregate the diction purists
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1910-03-23

''Snce her husband has made a fortune she doesn't seem to be the same woman she was"
 ''I know it. She always says has gotten now'
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1910-03-23

''What is animal spirit, pa?"
 "That sort of spirits, my son, that make you see blue monkeys and pink elephants"
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1910-03-23

"A woman with nothing human to love, says a rural philosopher, might as well be man m the moonlight with two charming girls
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1910-03-23

Vesuvius has begun to spout fire again, Pos sibly it is getting ready to welcome Former President Roosevelt with real fire works
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1910-03-23

The Douglas nternational-American is glv- inc ''hints on how to steal" It is to be hoped that its readers will prove averse to taking hints
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1910-03-23

The city council to be elected is the city coun- cil that will give the people chance to vote on a sewer bond issue.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1910-03-23

The man with telescope who cannot find a comet in these days needs not an eye eXamlna- ton but merely suggestion to geep abreast of the times.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1910-03-23

Why do nice old ladies affect or wear the latest fads in braids and rats and foundations? asks critic For the same reason, perhaps, that nice young ladies do.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1910-03-23

"Let the nation have a share in Alaska $ riches" suggests the April Hampton. What And heartlessly squeeze out Messrs. Morgan and Guggenheim.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1910-03-23

British courts hold South Dakota divorces invalid We'll, what of it? Anybody who IS anybody goes to Reno, New, for such things nowadays.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1910-03-23
MORNING SMILES

MORNING SMILES
 The whale gave up Jonah. "Owing to the cost of living can't afford meat, !" it explained. Herewith it returned to fish. Bus-to kiss. Re-bus-to kiss again. Omni- bus-to kiss all the girls in the room E pluri- bus unum-1 ,000 kisses in line.
 "What is animal spirit, pa?"
 "That sort of spirits, my son, that make you see blue monkeys and pink elephants" "
 'FSince her husband has made fortune she doesn't seem to be the same woman she was.'
 'I know it. She always says has gotten now"
 EI suppose some of your public addresses are matters of inspiration.
 "Not so much matters of inspiration re- piled Senator Sorphum, ''as of respiration" !" "The paper states that eggs have gone up $2 carat.''
 "A carat?"
 "Oh, pshaw I read it wrong It's $2 a crate. I"
  "Lucky for me somebody wasn't bald," he cried Herewith he spoke lightly of other things
 "I argued with that fool Dauber, till clock this morning about the old masters. What an ass that fellow is to argue like that"
 ''Yes; perfect idiot!'
 Artist (to tentative customer)-Now, I'll be quite frank with you. I refused $1,00O for it from an American, because don want it to go out of France, but I'll let you have it for $1O Jack-She asked me what color hair liked best
 Estee-That's just like Maud she's always so anxious tC please.
 The Neighbor-Have you learned that new piece of music yet?
 The Other Neighbor-Not quite but I've been trying all morning.
 The eighbor-Indeed you have-very!
 First Lady-Did you notice Mrs. 'Awkes lad a black eye?
 Second Lady-Did I not! And Ter 'usband not out of prison for another week. don call it respectable
 "Biggins says he thinks he would like to go into the diplomatic service''
 ''But he shutters terribly.'
 ''That's where he is strong. He has to think at least twice before he says anythng'
 Mr. TalkaIot-AlI men are born equal, Uncle Eph but the trouble is they don't stay that way. Uncle Eph-Da's right, suh da' right Some of lem gifts to be pow 'ful sight equaler dan de odders
 'Yes, I was fined $500 for putting colorng matter in artificial butter''
 ''Well, didn' t you deserve it?''
 Perhaps. But what made me mad was that the judge who imposed the fine had dyed whisk- ers'' 'Do you subscribe for a wOman's magazine for your wife?' asks the man with the mono gram on his vest
 "No sir" stoutIy replies the man with the square chin. And my wife doesn't buy my socks for me, either'
 Nater-What has become of Emma Tynenot- ter since she married?
 Teers-Why, she and her husband have gone to light housekeeping somewhere in Arizona. Nater-Is that so? I didn't know there were any light houses in Arizona.
 Mrs. Stubb-I have been trying to teach that Chinese laundryman how to conduct business like an enlightened American. Mir. Stubb-YOu must have succeeded Maria
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1910-03-23

"The paper states that eggs have gone up $2 a carat'
 ''A carat?"
 ''Oh, pshaw! I read it wrong It's $2 crate D
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1910-03-23

Will the length of hatpins be the subject of a platform of the various parties in the next na- tional campaign?
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1910-03-23

There be some American housewives who could give the Irish valuable tips on home rule
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1910-03-23

Damocles saw the sword suspended by a hair ''Lucky for me somebody wasn't bald," he cried Herewith he spoke lightly of other things
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1910-03-23

"I argued with that fool Dauber, till 3 o'clock this morning about the old masters. What an ass that fellow is to argue like that'
 ''Yes; a perfect idiot!''
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1910-03-23


 -Friedrich con Logan, There be some American housewives who could give the Irish valuable tips on home rule Will the length of hatpins be the subject ot platform of the various parties in the next na- tonal campaign!
 The city council to be elected is the city coun- cil that will give the people chance to vote on sewer bond issue.
 Vesuvus has begun to spout fire again Pos siblv it is getting ready to welcome Former President Roosevelt with real fire works. "A woman with nothing human to love, says rural philosopher, might as well be man in the moonlight with two charming girls.
 A news dispatch says man has eloped With his mother-in-aw Will he now have to contend with biscuits such as daughter used to make! The Douglas International American is gv- ing s'hints on how to steal" It is to be hoped that it's readers will prove averse to taking hints.
 The man with telescope who cannot find comet in these days needs not an eye exanina- ton but merely suggestion to geep abreast of the times.
 British courts hold South Dakota divorces invalid We'll what of it! Anybody who IS anybody goes to Reno, New, for such things nowadays.
 ''Let the nation have share in Alaska s riches" suggests the April Hampton. What? And heartlessly squeeze out Messrs. Morgan and Guggenhem
 Why do nice old ladies affect or wear the latest fads in braids and rats and foundations? {? asks critic. For the same reason, perhaps, that nice young ladies do.
 An Omaha Methodist pastor recommends that all users of slang be quarantined as though af- fcted with contagious disease. It would be an easier job to segregate the diction pursts
 Cleaning day is approaching and there are some parts of the city that need it bad. One cleaning day per year may do some backwards but there are many that need cleaning three or four times week.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1910-03-23

Artist (to tentative customer)-Now, I'll be quite frank with you. I refused $1 ,00O for it from an American, because don want it to go out of France but l II let you have it for $1O.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-06-16
RURAL DIVINE HERE
 TO HELP POLICE WATCH THE CITY
Tells Sergeant Bill O'Leary How They Run Things up in
 Cannon Station

Down from the wilds of Cannon Sta tion came Rev. E. L. Richards. prohi- bition worker for Fairfield county, last night, to help Judge F. K. Nicholson and the Law Enforcement League su- pervise the work of the Bridgeport police
 Making his headquarters at the Bank street. not so long since the scene of riotous revelry. the rural di- vine took frequent excursions to vari- ous parts of the city generally, accred- ited with being the rendezvous of the lawless
 This was the clergyman's second visit to Bridgeport. He was here about a fortnight ago, making the rounds without even the aid of a guide. Last night he partially concealed his clerical robes so as not to attract so much attention that his purpose would be defeated and went on a protracted tour of investigation.
 Hurrying to catch the .12:35 train for South Norwalk, thence to return to Cannon, he encountered Sergeant O'Leary. making his regular rounds of the center, of the city. Introducing himself to the sergeant he expressed himself as pleased with his experience. all evening as he traversed the tender loin But on his former visit. he said things were not so quiet.
 Sergeant "Bill" took counsel with the Cannon Station sociologist and radical changes in the tenderloin are likely to be made as the result of the visit of the gentleman from Cannon Station.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-06-16
NOT PEANUT POLITICS" BUT
 CONSTRUCTIVE CRAFTSMANSHIP"

Senator Bukeley much of that perni which unbecoming Federal hcas at punishing when pracced reelection, though deeming practiced in his
 He has, investigation of office the head Roraback of Mclean campaign resulting General Hitchcock Roaback reappointed Hitch cock
 He himself of and perncious other official is of the rebukng
 Of Bukeley Hitchcock, and thus but it Hill who district office located to allow each member of his district The indicate reelection of Senator Bulkee is actively promoting his candidacy.
 Bukeleys in Con- originaon general legislation and statesmanship admit statesmanship the understanding radically That pending practical action impeach this finding.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-06-16
THIRD OF YALE
 LAW CLASS FUNK
Thirty-Three of Seniors Fail to Pass Final Exams and Can't
 Get Diplomas

For several years the requirements at the Yale Law school have been made steadily harder in order to ment and when the members of the senior class looked at the bulletin board yesterday afternoon they found that thirty-three of. the entire class of one hundred-had f1unked. The of the entire course have just been completed and this notice contained the result of the inspection of the papers by the professors.
 The present graduating class is the last but one of those which entered under the old requirements, for com mencing with the class entering in the autumn of 1909 two years of col lege work or it's equivalent is requir- ed for entrance. This is the most radical movement taken in raising the standard of the school, and puts it on a footing with the best in the country.
 But this is not the only respect in which the standard has been placed on higher scholastic and profes- sional plane. Dean Rogers has, since becoming head of the department steadily made the courses and eXami- nations harder year by year. Now a degree from the Yale Law school places a man in an assured position among his colleagues. But the effect has been disastrous for all but the hard workers and brighter students. It reached it's culmination yesterday in the announcement that one-third of the senior class can obtain their diplomas only by passing further examinations or taking the years work over again.
 It. is recalled in this connection that the entering class last fall, un- der the new requirements was less than half the size of the one before.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-06-16
IMPORTANT DECISION Rostand Manufacturing Co. O1 Milford Gets Verdict in Big
 Patent Suit

A decision of much importance was recently handed down in the Federal court at Hartford by Judge Platt. The decision was in the case of the Ros- tand Manufacturing company of Mill ford. w.. B. Mccarthy, owner, against the Elm City Brass Rivet company of Plainville for alleged infringement of a patent rack for passenger coaches now standard on all the leading roads of the country. The importance O1 the decision is in it's bearing on in- fringemerN suits to be brought by MT Mccarthy against other companies Should his exclusive right to the pa tent be generally sustained it means to MT. McCarthy's firm a matter ot $500,O0 in business.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-06-16

Except in the cities which use vot- ing machines, the new ballot law, which provides for the use of the July l. Of the new conditions, the Hartford Times says:
 MT. Dwyer, the deputy secretary of tralian ballot printed. Each ballot is 14h inches by 23h inches. and on the upper margin of each are print ed instructions how to use the ball. lot. Under the present law nomina- tions must be made not later than three weeks before the day of cleo ton and a return of the nominations must be made to the state secre- tary Is days before election. In the case of local elections the return of nominations must be made to the town clerk who shall report them to the secretary. The entire responsi- bility for the printing of the ballots rests on the secretary. He is en- powered to determine the size and the character of the type and to see that the ballots are printed. It is on this account he is given so much time between the date of making the nominations and the day of the elec- tions.
 For state and national elections the ballots will be furnished without charge, but for local elections the towns will be charged for them. A curious thing about the law is that it places the secretary of state in the position. of prescribing to himself the style of type to be used in the print ing of the ballots. It suggests the delightful humor of the opera Mika- do, which is now revived to the de- light of every one. The law is de- fective in its phraseology and it will require the wisdom of a second leg islature to remedy it's defects and another one to rectify the errors of the remedy.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-06-16

There have been brought together in Chicago the Continental National Bank, the Commercial National Bank, the American Trust and Savings Bank and the Commercial Trust and Savings Bank. This consideration is similar in possible purpose to the even larger combination of banks and trust companies in New York city perfected and controlled by J. F. Morgan. We can only conjecture whether these great money combina- tions are intended to act in conjunc- tion with or in hostility to the great central bank proposed by the Aldrich Monetary commission. In either event, the general public's interest will probably not be consulted.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-06-16

The vote in the Senate on the pro- vision of $25O,000 for the Tariff board, appointed and it's Jurisdiction widened by the President, was A to 13. At the present time, the indica- tions are that the board will give its first attention to the textile schedule and endeavor to ascertain whether or not it's duties are higher than the difference in cost of production here and abroad. There isn't much doubt that the board will find in the af- firmative upon this question, in which case it will recommend revision down ward and the President will report such recommendation to Congress He has repeatedly said that the tex tile schedules were too high, even while declaring that the Aldrich re- vision is the best ever made. It re- mains to be seen whether Congress will consent to tariff revision by the single schedule, which seems to be the policy which will be urged by the Tariff board.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-06-16
The D. M. Read Go.
 Established 1857.
Street Gowns for Hot Days Linen Coat Suits and Separate Skirts
Established 1857.

A hot morning. the fairly broilng on the sunny side of the street, and the sidewalks bisterng, but she looked fresh and cool the in her coat. She wore a Linen Suit of natural color, the skirt slightly plaited, the coat of moderate length with neat tailoring, and fastening with smoked pearl but tons The opening gave glimpse of daintily tucked lingerie waist sheer and snowy white.
 ''How cool and nice you look, " said the friend who met her. ''Whata slick suit.'
 Bought it at Reads yesterday. It was hot and had to have something cool and there's nothing like linen Six dollars and half for this suit, and I bought the waist, too That special at 98 cts. It was $50. Now am going up there after white lawn skirt'' And she disappeared towards the cor ner of Main St. and Fairfield Av.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-06-16
CLERKS BEFORE HIGGINS
 FOR WAGE INCREASE

The New Haven railroad clerks, the last of the operatives of the big system. to go before the road for an increase of pay, visited General Man ager Higgins yesterday, and put in their demand for an increase of pay amounting to 15 per cent. The clerks are acting under the advice of R. G. Stearnes of Boston, the gen. eral chairman of the adjustment board of that body. There are over 2,000 men interested in the out come.
 After a lengthy talk the adjust ment board was given a set of figures land deductions to work upon, and were told to take the matter up again with the management next Tuesday, it is said.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-06-16

Wants, To Rent, For Safe, Etc, cent . word in Farmer Want Column
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-06-16

Vice President Sherman possesses great confidence in himself He re- gently delivered an Anti-Insurgent speech, and he now declares a be- lief that "the Insurgent movement is subsiding." In his apparent view, his speech and the alleged Insurgent subsidance stand in the relation of cause and effect. And yet we do not recall aught accomplished by MT. Sherman, which would indicate his addiction to conclusive argumenta- ton. In the House, he was merely one of Speaker Cannon's puppets who acted as the views from the chair directed. In denoupcihg Insur- gency now, he is also moving as Cannon would prefer and, according to report, as President Taft directed. As the Stamford Advocate says, No faint suspicion arises in a mind like this, that sometimes what is regular ly labeled as Republican may be in fact merely a scheme of greedy ef- frontery."
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-06-16
Tax Collectors Notice

The tax payers of the town of stratford are hereby notified that the taxes on the Grand List of 1909 are now due and payable.
 The undersigned will be at the se- lectmen's office Town hall, on June 10. 1910, and daily thereafter Sunday excepted, from g a. m. to , D. 'm for the purpose of receiving said taxes. After July 10, 1910, three-quarters of one per cent will be added to all un- paid bills and the same on the 10th of each succeeding month.
 F. P. BEARDSLEY, May 10, 1910. Collector.
 D Il
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-06-16
KAISER HAS BAD SORE BELOW HIS RIGHT KNEE,
 CAUSING APPREHENSION
Especial from United Press)

Berlin, June 16.-The Kaiser is again partially invalided today as the re- suit of a bad sore just below his right knee. The physicians say the sore is due to the rubbing of his riding boot and that it has no connection with the abscess on his right hand that recently incapacitated him.
 The Kaiser's disability, however, in- dicates blood impurities and the peo- pie are again apprehensive. The Kali ser intended to visit Hanover tomorrow but was forced to cancel the engage ment Only the most urgent audi ences are being granted by the En- peror and during them he sits with his right leg resting on a support.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-06-16

The New Haven Journal-Courier suggests that every candidate for the General Assembly be asked to register his preference between MT. Bulkeley and MT. Mclean for U. S. Senator. It is quite possible that some candidates would prefer Con- gressman Hill, or George B. Chand- Ter, or Stiles Judson. There should be no limitation of preference. It might also be we'll to ask candidates to name their second choice.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-06-16
GOV. FREAKS LONG TRIP FROM HONOLULU FOR
 YALE COMMENCEMENT

One of the longest trips made to attend the Yale commencement this year is that being made by Walter F. Frear of the class of 1885, He is governor of Hawaii, and yesterday, with his wife and daughter, arrived at San Francisco from Honolulu on his way to New Haven.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-06-16
TO MAKE QUICK JOB
 OF STEEL BUILDING

The McClintock Marshall Company of Pittsburg have agreed to erect for the Bridgeport Forge Company two- story steel building, 160 by 57 feet, within ten days from the time the ma terial arrives on the ground. The damage recently done to the property of the company by fire is to be re- raired and the plant increased in ca Iacity along the lines already describ- ed in the Farmer.