Willmar tribune., 1910-04-27
THOSE CHURCH
SPIRES
By M. QUAD
Copyright. 1910, by Associated Lit
erary Press.

pdsSeu anu uOCllng more mad been
done. Meanwhile one bell pealed for
all, and both sects dwelt together in
unity. There was no envy, no jealousy.
no criticism.
Then the blow fell. 1t came like a
thunderbolt. Deacon Wheeler of the
Methodist church and Deacon Ames of
the Baptist leased ten acres Of land in
partnership and planted it to corn.
Each furnished half the seed and was
to do half the work. One day when
the corn was tall enough for the first
hoeing and the two deacons were
working side by side Deacon Wheeler
pointed to patch of grass and OBJ
served:
Deacon, it strikes me that that is a
good place for bumblebees' nest.''
''Yes, kinder looks that way" was
the reply.
"Bumblebees orter be rooted out"
"Waal. dunno. The Lord made
'em.''
but they are pesky things. We
shall be plowing this corn with horse
next time. and s'pose they pitch into
him? reckon I'll root 'em out"
But don't kill any more'n need be.
It's wicked to take life if you don't
have to-
Deacon Wheeler found bumblebees
there. They also found him. They re-
sented his intrusion at once. They
likewise resented the near presence of
Deacon Ames. They went for the two
men hot foot and got in their work
and chased them from the field. 1t
was after the bees had given up the
pursuit that Deacon Ames turned to
the other and exclaimed:
Nov see what we've got by your
meddling. If you wasn't an old fool
you'd have let them BUNDLES alonew
"Old fool? Why. Deacon Ames, you
are six years older'n ber'
But told you to let 'em alone"
"Say. Deacon Ames, You are talk
ing mighty sassyv'
"But I've got right to-"
Eyes, talking mighty sassy for a
Baptist
"And what about the Baptists?'
"Waal. you can see your meeting
house from here. Does it look like a
meeting house or cooper shop? !
guess more'n one stranger has had to
ask to find OUT
Are you digging at me because we
hain't got cupola or bell?'
I'm a-saying that if more humble
bees had been stirred up mebbe your
folks would have finished the build
ing"
It was all over between the deacons.
Deacon Wheeler went home to tell his
wife about it, and Deacon Ames
walked straight to the parsonage and
said to the minister:
"Parson Jones. something has got
to be did. I've been ipsulted, our old
building has been insulted. and now
If we can't go at it and finish it up
I'll sell out and move away.
I'VE don't want no cupola nor bell.
Cupolas are for schools and bells are
for factories. What we want and
what we are going to have is spire
"a thing shooting up in the air about
sixty feet-something that can be
seen for five miles around. Cooper
shop: Well show the Wheeler crowd
whether we've got cooper shop or a
church. That ERE spire shall pierce
the clouds on the one hand and the
hearts of the Methodists on the other.
It'll be before their eyes night and
day. They'll have to walk in its
shadder to get to their own church.
Cupolas and bells? Why, they hain't
had nothing Of the kind in New York
city for fifty years past. Our build
ing is going to be right up to date,
even if we have to put in bathtubs
and electric bells''
OF course Deacon Wheeler and his
sect heard of these things. and the
deacon winked with his left eve and
replied:
"Going to have spire. eh? Going
to be seen for five miles around, is it?
Waal, you jest wait a little. Mebbe
there'll be two spires to be seen."
And so there was. The Baptists
had no sooner begun work on theirs
than the other sect started in and
sold the bell. demolished the cupola
and began on spire. Then it was a
race to see which spire should be the
highest. Each one jealously guarded
its secret. AS matter Of fact, as
measurements afterward proved, the
Baptist spire was just three-quarters
of an inch the longest, but one rubber
necking from the earth could not have
been sure.
After six months the spires were
completed. and each church planned
for festival to be held the same
night. Two hours before night a fierce
storm Of thunder. lightning. rain and
wind set in. 1t had been raging half
an hour when a great crash was
heard. Ten minutes later there was
another. AS soon as the storm abat-
ed the two deacons got out for look
around.
"Gosh" exclaimed Deacon Wheeler.
"Gosh." exclaimed Deacon Ames.
The two spires lay on the ground in
masses of wreckage. and neither has
been replaced to this day. Some blame
one deacon and .some the other. but it
was those bumblebees that brought
about the whole thing.
The Dinner Horn.
Details in regard to the manner in