The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1910-08-18
HEN STARTS A r
Brass Door Knob in the Nest Becomes
Red Hot.

Red Hot.
From the New York Sun.
In applying for membership in the
Cedar Grove, N. j.. board Of poultry
trade, William Henry Schult, better
known as Bill Hen Schult, who has
abandoned hardware to take up fowl
cultivation, contributed to the literary
archives Of the board a unique warning
entitled: Never Set Hens on Brass
Door Knobs"
The moment Chairman Silas Perkins
eyes fell on this title his hair bristled,
the color fled from his cheeks and his
lips trembled. When he could recover
he bounced from his chair and ad-
dressed the new applicant for member
ship.
bill Hen Schult," cried Chairman
Perkins, II reckon from ~glancin' over
this here paper of yours that you take
us fur a lot Of ime-b beetles. 1t is writ
In the bylaws of this organization
that IL o can't furnish a hen with a
sure enough truly settin' Of really eggs
IN she Is breakin' her heart for lack
o. setting activity, you got to furnish
her with a china egg Of the first magni-
tude. Door knobs has been barred
often our memories for II years. Door
knobs is a cruel an inhuman delusion
no matter what they is made out Of"
Has It's Drawbacks.
who says they isn't?". snapped Bill
Hen Schulz, whose ire had been aroused
at the fierce In which Perkins
addressed him. THE intire purpose of
that there paper O. mine Is to prove
them words that Is jest often your lips.
Enterin' into this here poultry raisin'
business, I got to get ups an downs
like other folks. Consarnin' the by
laws Of this here board Of trade, how
do I know them bylaws until I know
EN-? How kin I know the rules an
regerlatiOns O. this board afore / am
ber?"
Hear! hear!" %intcrposed George
Henry Smith. Chairman Perkins, Mr..
Schulz Is wholly justified In his re-
marks. Pray do not interrupt him."
Perkins snorted and sat down, where
upon Bill Hen Schult bowed his thanks
to Smith and continued:
Chairman Perkins. did you ever set
q hen on a brass door knob?"
Never, as / knowed of, in my
senses" snapped Perkins.
Did you ever own a brass door knob
to set a hen on?" pursued Schult.
81 Perkins growled a surly negative.
Then" ran on the new applicant for
membership triumphantly. ut amt
never been your experience to set a hen
on q brass door knob an have that
tifSiS hOh SdtSb uTc OIlen Tie neat
that Roes cat of that into the brass
door knob an then out of the door
knob into the feathers Of that hen.
Il got all O. the facts down in that
paper, as well Is their f1ggers. show
In my, total loss from settin' one hen
on one brass door knob. I bought that
hen u OF Rollo Rollins hennery with
IL other hens an two ROSTERS. He
guarantees EN- as layin' an settin'
hens. which they are, so far as settin'
inclinations is concerned. AS fur layin'
! only got n egg from them IA hens
In seven weeks.
There is one brown hen in that
bunch that is mad fur settin' on sun
thin. She goes round wild, settin' on
rocks an Jumps O. coal. She gets inter
the house and tries settin' on the knobs
Of bedposts. She tries settin' on APP
pies an pumpkins till the missus ia
near Rsin' her wits an tells me I got
to get her a settin' O. eggs or sunthin'.
Makes Hen Smile.
II inqsires Of Rollo Rollins what the
price o settin' eggs Is, and he says he
doesn't tell me. Cold storage eggs. he
say, are 8 cents each, but he advises
agin' them fur settin' on the ground
that II they matches out the chicks III
be a couple Of years old an only good
as second class leather fur cheap pock-
etboeks.
We'll. I goes home desperate and
find h a brown hen settin' on the
brass door knob of the front door. She
was old and shiverv and tears was
drainin' from her eyes. Gents Of the
Cedar Grove board of poultry trade,
my heart was touched fur that old hen.
an ] instant an forthwith takes off
tina brass door knob an fixes II coy
In a nest in the hennery.
THAT old hen thanks me with a
smile an I leave her there in the hem
merry all night. Come mornin', I looks
out the back window and notices that
he hennery is smokin', The minute
It's open that brown hen comes out,
all on fire. All the other hens is over
come by smoke. After putin out the
blaze l trace It to hat brass door
knob, which l notice is red-hot.
Il picked up that fiery knob ont OF
that Icy water don't cool 1t. That
water boi!s n so hoes II other
pals Of water boil in the same nam
ner. 1t takes me 80 days to cool off
that doorknob.
1T costs me 81 each for an animal
doctor TO bring them smoked, sense
less hens back to life, an after 7 paid
him he told me them hens was no
good fur layin' or KILN, more espe.
chickens didn't have no market value.
That is all I got to. say on this
brass doorknob business. but ! reckon
my experience amt been duplicated."
Correct" calculated Smith, heart
lily, land l move that we admit Mr..
Schult to the membership of this
board without further parley."
Schulz was admitted by a rising
vote of vociferous unanimty.