The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1910-08-05

WHSN ne Salu ne lOVed you! Dolly
I'm sure of it. He looked too foolish
to be making believe.
Mrs. Knicker-Do you let Bridge,
eat with the family? Mrs. Booker
Yes; it's much cheaper than to have
her eat with the policeman.
That clerk of yours seems to be Q
hard worker" Yes; that's his spe
cialty." What. working?" No
seeming to."-Philadelphia Ledger.
She'll never have another photo
graph taken. He-Why not? She
II 1t looks like me l don't like 1t, and
IL 1t fatters me my friends don't like
1t.
"And Is your milk pasteurized?'
asks the prospective customer of the
dairyman. Sure" he replies. "My
boys pasturizs the cows every morn,
ing"
Jones made an awful big hit al
the banquet the other night" rs that
so?" "Yes; he was called on for a
speech and refused" Detroit Free
Press.
Him-You're the only girl / ever
loved! Her-That's interesting but
immaterial. What I want to know is
am I the only girl you're ever going
to love?
"Wilt fly with me??" asked the ar.
dent swain. "All depends" answered
the practical girl. "Is that pro
posal, or merely an invitation to 60
aviating?"
Madge-Edith is surely not going to
marry that living skeleton OF man
He's nothing but skin mad bones. Tess
Why not? He'll make her rattlina
husband.-Boston Transcript.
"The young man who called on me
last night says there is fool in every
family" WAS he trying to advance
that ~ reason why we should take
him into ours?"-Houston Post.
"Now. then, children said the
teacher, what Ia it we want most In
this world to make US perfectly hap
py? "Ths things we amt got!" shout
Cd the bright boy in the back seat
st. Louis News.
Il wish l were an ostrich" sait
Hicks. angrily, as he tried to eat on
OF his wife's biscuits, but couldn't. q
wish you were," returned Mrs. Hicks
"Td get a few feathers for my hat
Musical Courier.
These ere flying machines and
wireless elsgrams-wonderful, ain't
1t. Mixer" "'Tis that. All, Tim, afore
we're old men we shall be able to
travel round the world without leavin'
'ome." THE Sketch.
"And how old are you. little girl?'
six" And how is 1t you are out
walking without your mamma?" "Oh,
mamma doesn't go In for exercise.
Really, we have very little In COM
mon. Houston Chronicle.
do you believe in the Darwinian
theory? Il am inclined to 60 further
than Darwin did," answered Miss
Cayenne, "and believe that some mem
bers Of our species have started on
return Washington Star.
Hewitt-It took the suferagette pa
rade three hours to pass given point.
Jewett-Were there many women in
line? Hewitt-Not 80 very many, but
they had to halt every time they ap.
preached dry goods store.-Chicago
News
Ethel (confidentially) do yon
know, Clara, that had two offers OF
last week? Clara with en-.
)-Oh, am delighted, dear!
Then the report is really true that
your uncle left you his money?--Pick-
Me-Up.
Il am dissatisfied with your account
,f my discovery" declared the scien-
list. Il told you that 1t would be Inn.
possible to exaggerate the Importance
If this discovery" "Well!" said the
you didn't try."-Louis.
Ville Courier-J Journal.
you can't run newspaper that
will absolutely please everybody" said
he editor. NO." replied the old sub
Icriber; "a mans opinion Of the fash.
on page is usually pretty much the
iame as his wife's opinion of the
porting section. Washington Star.
Rory" said the minister, Il hear
re were at Dunlop's kirk on Sunday
asst Not that I object, 70 ken, but
70 widna yersel like yer ain sheep
trayin' away into strange pastures"
I widna care, sir" said Rory, If II
vas better grass. boston Transcript.
I'm afraid my husband is develop.
ng the gambling instinct" sobbed the
ride. What's the matter, dearf Has
10 been playing pokerT' 'No. but yes.
erday he offered to match pennies
nth brother Frank to determine which
ne should pay the car fare Detroit |
Tree Press.
Sayior-van Janter's big apartment
ouse burned this morning and the
snants would hardly permit them.
elves to be dragged out. Metz--Why
vere they so reluctant to leave? Bay.
or-They eaid 1t was the f"9t time
be building had ever been comfortably
1arm.-Chicago News
Il don't like these women who COS.
ip about others, do your II should
AZ not. Row, there's MYA Green.
hes always telling mean things
ho..k h.m unf~Lhaw. A-x ~ H..