davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-07-28
HAS OWN CODE OF ETHICS
"caIIfornIs Johns" Somewhat Pecu,
liar Scheme for Keeping Ac-
counts with the Lord.

Back in the $685." said California
John, IL made up an account between
me and the Lord. Whenever / did
anything l ought not to, charged my.
self UP with a good stiff fine, and
costs, anywhere from two bits to IS.
dependin' on how deep I'd get In.
Gamblin' was two bits a chip; drinks
dos reales per, and so on. 1t wasn't
only what you'd call police court
cases, either. / rung IN fightin', and
meanness, and lynn. and all sorts Of
general cussedness. 1t was surprisin'
what 1t came to by the end OF the
year. | wish 1 remembered exactly,
but II was surprisin."
What did you do with the money!"
asked him.
That's the point used to figure
out on the other side where the Lord
hadn't treated me square. / figured
out he ought to send the rain, and
dry calvin weather. and should hold
his hand in regard to fire and flood.
/ charged him with them things-the
actual damages, you sabe." Califor-
MIA John threw back his head and
laughed with whole-hearted enjoy
ment. I'm year l had the Lord
so far behind the game that / could
have drunk myself to death at two
bits fine a drink and then been GER
tain sure of salvation by some few
round dollars. So / give 1t up, and
come to the conclusion that a man
was supposed to be decent in spite of
tribulations."
what did you find the best prac-
tical scheme finally?" I asked as he
rose to go.
"Oh, just live along" replied Cali
tornia John.-Stewart Edward White.
In American Magazine.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-07-28
Don't Eat Too Fast.

Professor Fisher, says that one OF
the principal causes of excessive IA
tigue is hurying at meals. which in
duces the excessive use of the high
proteid foods (that is. meats, fish, eggs
and other hearty foods), which are
stimulating in their effects. This
stimulation the stomach Graves when
food is not properly prepared for 1t by
thorough mastication. II excessive
use of high-proteid foods is the pri-
mary cause of early fatigue, while at
the same time the high price of these
very articles of food helps hold the
laboring man in poverty, the impor-
lance of this discovery is immeasur-
able.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-07-28
Silenced the Critic.

Charles Sumner, when in London
gave a ready reply. At dinner given
in his honor, he spoke of ''the ashes
Of some dead hero. Ashes! What
American English" rudely broke in
an Englishman; dust you mean, Mr.
Sumner. We don't burn our dead In
this country" Yet" instantly re
piled Mr.. Sumner, with courteous
smile, your poet Gray tells us that
Even in our ashes live their wonte6
f1res." The American was not criti
cized again that evening.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-07-28
Comparing Notes.

Mrs. Newly-My little Robbie is re-
markably strong; he is only four
years old, but he can raise his high
chair with one hand!
Mr.. Spoodler-oh. that's nothing;
in the apartment house where i try to
do my sleeping there's baby that's
only four months old, and that child
can raise the roof with no hand at all.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-07-28
Retort Courteous.

Miss DePrymm, while walking with
her small sister, paused TO chastise
orally bold, bad man.
Sir" she exclaimed Indignantly,
what do you mean by staring at me?"
BEG pardon, madam" answered the
b. b. m, but wasn't staring at you.
was just admiring your little grand
daughter"
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-07-28

The Teacher-Who was 1t that
climbed slowly up the ladder Of sue
cess, carrying his burden with him as
he went; who, when he reached the
top gazed upon those far beneath
him, and
The Scholar (aged 81 know,
ma'am. 1t was Pat O'Rourke, presi-
dent of the Hodcarriers union.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-07-28

IIOm HIcBulSAl-
ties, terrible drag
ging sensations,
extreme nervous
ness, and that all
gone feeling In my
stomach. / had
given up hope Of
ever being well
when i began to
take Lydia e. Pink
hams Vegetable
Compound. Then
/ felt as though
pew life had hean
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-07-28

II You Are o Trifle Sensitive
About the size of your shoes, many people
wear taller shoes b. using Aliens Foot Ease,
the Antiseptic Powder TO shake into the shoes
It cures Tired, Swollen, Aching Feet and
gives rest and comfort. Just the thing for
breaking in new shoes. Sold everywhere, 25c-
Sample sent FREE. Address, Allen S. Olmsted,
lie Roy, N. Y.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-07-28
Real Novelty.

Knocker-Say, here's an original
baseball story.
Second Senior-How's that?
Knocker-Hero wins game In eighth
inning instead of ninth.-Yale Record.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-07-28
A WARNING.

Man at Telephone-Let me have the
gas ONCE, please.
Operator-Certainly. But you know
we don't allow any swearing over our
lines
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-07-28
Try Thin. This Summer.

The very next time you're hot, tired
or thirsty, step up to a soda fountain
and get glass of Coca-Cola. 1t will
cool you off, relieve your bodily and
mental fatigue and quench your thirst
delightfully."-. At soda fountains or
carbonated in bottles-5c everywhere
Delicious, refreshing and wholesome
Send to the CocaCola Co., Atlanta,
Ca, for their free booklet THE Truth
About Coca-Cola." Tells what Coca.
Cola is and why it is so delicious, re.
freshing and thirst-quenching And
send &c stamp for the Coca-Cola Base
ball Record Book for 1910-contains
the famous poem Casey At The Bat,
records, schedules for both leagues
and other valuable baseball informa.
ton compiled by authorities.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-07-28
AFTER
.FOIJRYEARS
| OF MISERY
Cured by Lydia E. Pink.
hams Vegetable 6 Compound

L Baltimore, Nd. -"For four years
my life was misery to me. / suffered
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-07-28

A thick head is apt to generate 9
multitude of thin ideas.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-07-28

Mrs. winnow Soothing Syrup.
For children teethlng softens the gums. reduces n
nammation .aays pain. cures wind collie. 25c bottle
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-07-28

It's easier to get on in the world
than II is to get up in 1t.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-07-28
Proportion.

Optimist-In this world one happy
hour makes UP for heap Of unhappy
ones.
Pessimist-Yes. II has to.-Puck
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-07-28

The fellow who Duries the Ratchet
may still have knife up his sleeve.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-07-28

A crazy person thinks every one
else is insane, and love is blind be-
cause it imagines everybody else is.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1910-07-28
Important TO Mothers

Examine carefully every bottle OF
CASTORIA, a safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that it
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-03
The Limit.

There is a blacksmith who has a shop
downtown and who has a reputation
for good work. especially in the max
ing of ice tongs. But he claims to be
an expert on any kind Of ironwork.
Recently a man dropped In on him
while he was working on a pair Of Ice
hooks. ESQ %. ','
II see you are an expert on ice
hooks" said the caller. ,.1,
"Oh. yes: l make ice hooks putty
good" remarked tine mechanic, 'unt 1
also shoe your horses or do other IRON
work yust so good"
"Well," said the caller, I've got a
stove on which the hinges need re
pairing. Can you fix themY \,
The blacksmith drew himself up, to
his full height and scornfully asked.
"Do you think am dod gasted jew
eler?"-St. Joseph Gazette.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-03
MANAGING a Drawer.

A woman will take the smallest
drawer in a dressing table for her
own private use and will pack away
in it bright bits of boxes of all
shades and sizes, dainty fragments
of ribbons, scraps of lace, foamy
rulfies, velvet things for the neck,
bundles Of old love letters, pieces
of jewelry, handkerchiefs, fans,
things that no man knows the
name of, all sorts of fresh, bright
looking knickknacks that you could
not catalogue in a column, and she
can go to that drawer any hour of
the day or night and pick out any
article she may happen to want
without disturbing anything else.
And a man, having the biggest
and deepest and widest drawer as
signed him, will throw into it three
socks, collar box, an old necktie,
two handkerchiefs, a pipe and a
pair of braces, and to save his life
he can't shut that drawer without
leaving more ends sticking out than
there are things in it, and it always
looks as though it had been packed
with a hydraulic press.-Exchange.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-03

In the Ex-Iibris Journal an amusing
anecdote is given Of a nmn anxious for
a coat Of arms and fortunate In finding
one. A secondhand bookseller bought
at country sale some 800 volumes Of
handsome but unstable old sermons,
books on theology and the like.
He placed number of these outside
his shop. Soon aftc ID well dress
ed man entered and said, Have you
any more Of this kind of books with
this shield on them?' pointing to tho
bookplate attached. which bore the
arms and name of good old country
family
THAT box, sir. is full Of books frOm
the same house." answered the book
seller.
What do you ask for themT" i'm.
Qulred the man. 'I'm going back 60
Chicago, and want to take SONS
books, and these win just at me, name
and all. Just you sort out all that have
that shield and name. but don't you
send any without that nameplate, for
that's my name too. reckon this old
fellow with the daggers and roosters
might have been related to me some
way"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-03
Not Guilty.

Martin Gosford's hens received
so much blame to which they we're
Justly entitled that when their
owner could prove them guiltless of
depredations he fastened to their
defense. my flower beds are in a
terrible condition, Mr.. Gosford," "
said one of his summer neighbors
one day.
81 know they be; L know they
be-" groaned Martin. "But my
hens didn't do it this time, Mis-
Gage"
care you sure?" asked the lady
in a tone of chill doubt.
eyes, ma'aI, / am" said Martin,
with emphasis. "There was only
one chicken, Mis- Gage, and it
hadn't but just went into the front
bed when l sot my dog after it,
and he chased that chicken through
every last one O. them flower beds
till he got i headed for home, an
there want nary another chicken
nor hen dast go nigh 'em."-
Youths Companion.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-03
Picking a Horss.


A British cavalry officer, speaking of
horses. said:
Give me a Tree hand and should
pick a roan-that is, for good temper
and quick learning. Dark grays and
blacks are mostly strong and hardy,
and so are dark chestnuts. AS a gen
eral rule, light chestnuts and light
bays are nervous and delicate. A rusty
blacks sulky pig nine times out Of
ten. Then. again. there are white
stockings as they call them. You
know the old saying One white legs
a bad un, two white legs you may sell
to friend, three white legs you may
trust for time, four white legs you
may lay your life on"
This does not agree with an old Yam
kee saying:
One white foot, buy him;
Two white feet. try him;
Three white feet, look well about him;
-Four white feet go on without him.
Now, however, the American idea Is
similar to that of the sergeant, and
they say, -Four white feet you can
stake your life on him."-London Spec
tator
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-03
An Innenious Device.

When Sir Robert Perks school days
were over he entered the Office Of a
firm of lawyers and worked very hard
1t was no uncommon thing to find him
reading law at in the morning, and
this often after he had been working
late on the previous night. AS a mat
ter of fact, he made it an inhexibIe
rule never to be in bed Of a morning
after 5. To enforce this rule he in
vented an ingenious device. This con-
sisted of long glass tube filed with
water nicely balanced over his head
and attached by a string to an alarm.
At the desired hour the bell rang and
awakened the sleeper. If within few
seconds he did not leap from bis. bed
and avert the calamity the descending
weight Of the clock destroyed the bal
ance of the tube, and down poured the
water on his guilty head!-From "The
Life Story OF Sir Robert W. Perks,
Bart. M. P.," by Dennis Crane.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-03
TIE END OF The WORLD.
One Theory as to How the Fearful
Climax May Come.

One Theory as to How the Fearful
Climax May Come.
What will be the end Of the
world? This is a question which
was formerly asked of soothsayers
and prophets apd often answered by
them with definite statements and
dates which were, to those vho be-
lieved them, to the last degree dis
quieting. Such prophets and proph-
ecies have all been proved er-
roneous, and the Millerites and their
kin have all been laughed out of
serious consideration. Science has
taught us better, and yet science,
which seeks always new facts and
revised reasoning, is now teaching
us that our faith in the safety of
the solar system is misplaced.
Instead of the eternally change
less procession Nof the planets about
the sun and of our solar system
about some other greater sun, as
tronomers find grave evidence of
what seems disorder in what we
thought was perpetual perfection,
disorder which may-indeed, prob
ably will--some time wreck our own
planet. 1t is possible-astronom-
ically considered, 1T is probable
that unseen within the remote con-
fines of space the vast mass of
dead world is hurting toward our
sun with inconceivable velocity. In
time the two will come together
and the immeasurabIe heat pro-
duced will make gas of granite and
floating clouds of nebulae of us all,
for thus worlds die and thus they
are Immediately in process of being
born again, for out of the condensa-
ton of this nebula will come the
beginnings of a new solar system
which will in the countless cons of
astronomical time go through the
same process of evolution and de-
cay.-Technical World Magazine.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-03
The Comparison.

Dropping into the Garrick club one
afternoon, Charles Brook6eld, the dram
atist, found a well known actor, who
happened to be playing David Garrick
at the time, reclining in a chair right
under the portrait Of the immortal
"DaYy." Brookheld stopped in front
of him and looked first at the portrait
and then at the man. 'By Jove. old
fellow" he exclaimed at last, you
grow more and more like Garrick
every day"
do you really think so, Brookheld"
returned the delighted victim.
"Yes," came the crushing retort,
"and less and less like him every
night."-London Tatler
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-03
ThOuahtful Husband.

Parting is hard to bear, and the
young man who endeavors to soften
its pangs for his bride of month
certainly deserves commentator.
"And now that our honeymoon
is over and we are settled in our
own home must you leave me for
three whole days for the sake of
business, Henry :" asked the cling
ing wife in a tone of reproach.
'I must, dear Mabel" said the
young husband. "But to make the
separation seem less abrupt | am
going on the accommodation train
instead of the express"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-03
ROUND-TRIP EXCURSION
Fares to New Orleans, La,
Account Mardi Gras.
Feb. 3-8, 1910.

The Illinois Central will sell round.
"trip tickets to New Orleans, La, &C.
count the above occasion at the rate
Of Sl8 90 for the round-trip. Dates
of sale. Feb. l. 2, 8, A, 5, 6 & z,
1910. Return limit. Tickets good
to reach original starting point not
later than Feb. 18th, 1910. For
further information in regard to
stop-overs, extensions etc., call on
or write ticket agent Illinois Central
Railroad. Cumb. Phone 45-2.
T. L. Morrow, Agent.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-03
uniaue American Families.

The Harrison family, like the Adams
family Of Massachusetts, on its illus
trious genealogical tree carries the
names of one signer Of the Declaration
Of Independence and two presidents Of
the United States, and in this record
the Adamses and the Harrisons stand
apart in class by themselves. These
distinctions in one family, it can be
noted. will never again be eQualed. 1t
remains unique in the history of the
country,
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-03
RoUND-TRIP EXCURSION
Fares to Mobile, Alabama,
and Pensacola, Florida.

The Illinois Central and Tennessee
Central Railroad Company will sell
round-trip tickets to Mobile, Ala,
and Pensacola, Fla, at the rate of
$l6.S5 to Mobile and $16.45 to
Pensacola, Fla, account of Mardi
Gras, Feb. 8 8, 1910. Dates of sale
Feb. l, 2, 3, a, 500 z 1910. Re.
turn limit. Tickets good returning
to reach original starting point not
later than Feb. 18TH. 1910. For
further information in regard to
stop-overs etc., call on or write
ticket agent Illinois Central. :Cumb.
Phone as 2.
7. L. Morrow, Agent.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-03
Asbestus.

The mystery of the mineral king
dom is asbestus. 1t is, in fact, so
much Of puzzle that many scien-
lists look upon it as a sort of link
between the mineral and the vege-
table world. 1t might be said to
resemble a mineralogieal vegetable,
possessing the curious properties
found in both, for it is at once
fbrous aud crystalline, elastic and
brittle, heavy as a rock when taken
from the mines, but light as spun
silk when treated mechanically.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-03
Uneasy LIes the Head, Ete.

when you feels hankerin' foh
great authority, son." said Uncle
Eben. do little preliminary practie.
an as a baseball umpire an see
whether you really enjoys IT,"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-03
Sarcasm ProbabIY Wasted.

One of the wittiest of Parisians, In
a friends box at the opera, was lis
tening to "Thais," or rather trying to
do so, for his hostess talked inces-
sanity and deadened the music with
her shrill voice. At the end OF the
opera she invited him to the next
subscribers night. with pleasure"
replied he; Il have never heard you
In 'Faust.'l"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-03

Living Skeleton president OF greaks
Secret societyl-Our organization. la
dies and gentlemen. is about perfected.
It will be necessary, however, to elect
a treasurer. who shall it be? Chorus
Of Members-The legless wonderl
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-03
Winter Tourist Rates.

The above rates apply from. Hop
kinsville, KY, on sale daily Novem-
ber 1st to April SOth, 1910 via. Illi-
nois Central Ry.
T. L. Morrow. Agent.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-03
Accommodation.

Jinks-Have you got quarters for
dollar, old man: Winks-My vest
pocket is rather crowded, but pass it
over and I'll try TO make room for 1t.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-03
HOpkinsvilIe's Retail
Market Report.
Corrected January 18th, 1910.

Black-eyed peas, 1925 per bushel,
Country shoulders, 15c per pound
Country hams, zoe per pound
Northern seed Rose potatoes. $1.0O
per bushel
Northern eating Burbank pOta-
toes, 81. 90 per bushel
Northern eating Rural potatoes,
Sl.00 per bushel
Potatoes, Irish, 25c peck
Yellow eating onions, $1.20 per
bushel
Red eating onicns.$l.0o per bushel
Dried Navy beans, 1925 per
bushel
Cabbage, &c Xxx $l.75
Dried Lima beans, 61c per pound.
Country dried apples, 1oc per
pound
Country dried peaches, lOc per
pound
Daisy cream cheese, 25c per
pound
Full cream brick cheese, 25csper
pound
Full cream Limberger cheese. 25c
per pound
Popcorn, dried on ear. &c per pound.
Sweet potatoes, $1.00 per bushel.
Choice lots fresh, well-worked
country butter, in pound prints. 30c.
FRUITS.
Lemons, 25c per dozen
Navel Oranges, ,25c, ,3Oc, ,45c per doz
Bananas, 25c doz
New York State apples $500 to
$3.50 per barrel
POULTRY.
Spring Chickens l0c per pound
Dressed hens. 12Ac per pound
Dressed cocks, 7c per pound
i've hens, 10c per pound; live cocks,
&c pound; live turkeys, l4c per
pound
Dressed geese. lie per pound for
choice lots, live 81
Fresh country eggs, 80 cents per
dozen
| A good demand exists for dressed
chickens. turkeys, geese and choice
lots of fresh country butter
Young dressed shoats, 7c a pound
Hay AND GRAIN.
Choice timothy hay, $15 s16
No. l timothy hay $13 to $14
No. 2 timothy hay, $12 to $l3
Choice clover hay. S12 to $3.50
No. clover hay, $11 to $l2
No. 2 clover hay, $40 to $11
Clean. bright straw hay, %.00e
Alfalfa hay, sic 90
White seed oats, Csc
Black seed oats, 65c
Mixed seed oats, 65c
NO. z white corn, 05c
No. 2 mixed corn, SOC
Winter wheat bran, $500.
Chops, $500.
Roofs. HIDES, Wool AND TALLow.
Prices paid by wholesale dealers to
buthers and farmers:
Roots-Southern ginseng, IS. 90 lb'
Golden Seal" yellow root, $1.40 ID
Mayapple. 4c; pink root 12c and 13c
Tallow-No. l. 4c; No, 2, 3tc.
Woodbury., 10c to 21c; Clear
Grease, 25c. medium, tub washed,
33c to 35c; coarse, dingy, ,tubwashed,
1Sc to 23c.
Feathers-Prime white goose, 45c;
dark and mixed old goose. 15c to SOc;
gray mixed, 15c to 30c; white duck.
22c to 35c. new.
Hides and Skins-These quotations
are for Kentucky hides. Southern
green hides &c. We quote assorted
lots dry flint, 12c to lac. 9-1O bet
ter demand.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1910-02-03

Jealousy is secret ayowal of ones
inferiority -Massillon.
Newark post., 1910-09-07
Celebrate Dutch Day

A Number Of our townsmen cele-
b.ated Dutch Day at the Springs
last Wednesday. The trip under the
management OF Mr.. Heinel, was de-
cded success The thirteen mem
bers OF the party took in everything
in the park from the mystic maze to
the beer, speck and sauerkraut. They
soon become spotted as that Newark
bunch and their movements were
followed by many who enjoyed wit
Messing others have jolly goot
!, time. Messrs. EIeinel. Durnal, Cur.
rinIer, Ring, Colmery, Worrail, Tri
fer, Strahorn, Cunningham, Clark,
Ferguson, Elliott and Hill composee
the party.
Newark post., 1910-09-07
A Day In The Woods
WRITTEN TO THE POST.)

1t is pleasant to assemble under the
restful trees and consider the prob
lens which shall result in the uplift
of mankind!
Just at present hundreds Of these
woods meetings are i'll progress
whether as camp established for
two weeks period of usefulness or
the harvest home of only one days
duration. 1t is not strange that the
utterances OF these desires for the
betterment of humanity should find
their setting in the groves, with the
gentle breezes overhead, the encour-
agement of the sunshine around them
or the solemn stiffness of the shade.
Where else does a sense of the
spiritual overwhelm one SO COM
pletely! The groves were Gods
first temples the yare still the
grandest and best.
In America worship began i'll the
forest OF Virginia. where with the
great aises of trees around them,
| they realized the utter significance OF
| men and the omnipotence of God.
The notes OF the great organs may
rise and fall and fill us with the won
drous beauty of the Blended tones
but can they surpass the music Great
ed by the soughng OF the wind, OF
the onward rush of the rill to the
| larger stream:
The sunshine, rehectng the richness
OF the coloring in the plate glass o.
the window may add to the sacrednes.
and solemnity of the place as ii shines
across the carpeted floor, but does i
| produce that ecstatic delight with OH
surroundings and love for the Glvei
Of it all that we feel when we SET
those golden glimmers which dance
with such an indescribable brightness
over the boughs and leaves?
If we go for a sense OF peace an'
inward calm, we may find 1t i'll thes
surroundings.
But, with many, different idea pre-
walls. A day in the wood means onl.
a frolic, a social hour or chance It
make hay" in some political cam
paign.
Then how completely all the voice
of nature are overlooked and the
{ scene OF rest becomes one of tn
} greatest activity For those who's
purpose is such, the outskirts OF tn
crowd will supply them with field o
which TO expcnd their efforts. n
Office seeker of the hearty hand-cias
and loud gufaw, jostles with tn
youth conscious of the girl at h
side, and his initiation into the realt
! of beau-dom; the children who psc
] die in the brook, swing on the strap