davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-01-14
A cnsrmlns Epitaeh.

A travelling salesman died very sud.
denly. His relatives telegraphed the
undertaken TO make a wreath. the rib.
Lon to be extra wide. with the In.
scription, Rest I'm Peace" on both
sides, and df room) we shall Meet
in Heaven"
The undertaken was out OF town and
his new assistant handled The Job. II
was startling floral piece which
turned no At the funeral The ribbon
w,S extra wide and bore the inscrip-
tion: Rest in Peace on Both sides
am Il There is Room We shall Meet
in Heaven. "--ENchange
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-01-14

"a m ordinance today prohibiting
Shakcspoaran tragedies and an 9TH
or plays portrU Ing the killing OF
human beings or the commission of
crime OF any FORM behind th. foot
lights Of any Dos Moincs thcoi-r
For several weeks Dcs Momcs
cnurches have been waging war
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-01-14
A World OF Renntu

Oh, what a world OF beauty
A loving heart might plan,
il man but did his duty,
And helped his brother man.
The angel guests would brighten
The threshold with their wings.
And love divine snlighten
The old forgotten springs. :.
On, what a world OF beauty
A loving heart might plan.
II man but did his duty
And loved his brother man.
Charles Swa,a
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-01-14
ORDER YOUR WHISKEY
from US today. Do not be deceiV-
ed by 80 called cheap mail order
houses Of today.

- ONT You know that imitation
whiskey and cheap drugs are dear
at any price, Poisoning your sys
TEN and adding to your doctors bill day
by day. Buy double stamped, old fash
toned, pure copper distilled goods direct
from the manufacturer, guaranteed 100
per cent proof, and strictly pure; and not
this rectihed stuff-the human DESTROYER
against which the United States Govern
ment is now waging a bitter war. This
IS what we have to say, and will vouch for
same. We are operating an old fashion,
ed copper still, producing the same grade
OF stuff as our forclathers drank years AGO
and lived TO enjoy a ripe old agc and
never knew headache. It's pure; It's as
clear IS spring water; it's the old fash
toned make. Our distilery is located at
Godfrey, w. Va, in the heart of the
Flat Top Mountains made famous bv
POCAHCN Jas CCI uc T..
" H1kIN I,t v1l,....
H hVFs' IrtH1 a., ctf.,C.
hay e tie miCdlC r;f''I
Don't fail 10 pt,etstl,r;r.
frien ds who you .lI1 1,., t
'HAw ks' IFf>IF. ",
one OF otr C1G.;.t I,5, I...
your nam G, arena, I,.1 c
We us and stG l1N5 l..i
rather a q ass e j,,,. .j,
which it is hard to tetcnI,
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-01-14
Painful Ailment.

Though govt is generally reckoled r
disease OF rich men and free iyers.
one OF the worst OF sufferers from IL
was well known English minister
who died not long ago.
A friend once said to him. "Dr So
and-so, what is gout likeT
The clergyman smiled sadly. III
you put your hand in a wise" be said.
"and let man press as hard as he
can. that is rheumatism. and IL he can
be got to press a little harder, that IL
govt"
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-01-14
TO BAR PLAYS
OF SHAKESPEARE

Des Moines, Iowa, Jan. li.-com-
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-01-14
All Orders Shipped Prom tIy
Send Us Your Order for any of
these Popular Brands

HAWKS" Crystal Corn,
very old, 100 per cent
proof. double stamp go.
HAWKS" Flat Top Corn
white, 100 per cent proof
double stamp .........
HAWKS" Crane Creek
Corn, white. 100 per
cent proof ..........
"TAWI> =" -ousblrc
white. uv,uig Copper
Distilled Pure Corn
HAWKE annie Brandy.
'rHr ys ,ls
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1910-01-14

Still Suspicious.
what Is that you are smoklng?"
"a good ten cent cigar"
Hum! What did it cost your"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-04-27
A BYRON STATUE.
Made For Westminster Abbey. but
Dean Lincoln Refused Il.

Many years ago some admirers OF
Lord Byron raised subscription for
monument to the poet to be placed in
Westminster abbey Chantrey was re-
quested to execute 1t, but on account
Of the smallness of the sum subscribed
he declined, and Thorwaldsen was
then applied to and cheerfully under
took the work.
In about 1888 the finished statue ar
rived at the customs house In London,
but to the establishment Of the sub
scribers the dean Of Westminster, Dr.
ireland, declined to give permission to
have 1t set up in the abbey. and owing
to this difficulty. which r"oved msur,
mountable. for DR.. IrelaLd's successor
was Of the same opinion. II remained
for upward of twelve years in the Gus.
toms house, when d846) II was re-
moved to the library Of Trinity col
lege, Cambridge.
The poet Is represented In the statue
of the size of life. seated on a ruin,
with his left foot resting on the frag.
ment of a column. In his right hand
he holds style up to his mouth, In his
left book, inscribed "Childe Harold"
He is dressed In frock coat and
skull, above which Is the Athenian
owl. The likeness Is, of course, post
humous. Thorwaldsen was born Nov.
10. ITO, and died on March "a. 1874
Exchange
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-04-27
A LAD OF MYSTERY.
THAT Awful Boy JONES'" Who Tor
nnented Queen Victoria.

THAT Awful Boy JONES'" Who Tor
msnted Queen Victoria.
For little while about the middle
of the nineteenth century that awful
boy Jones' WAS the torment Of Queen
Victorla's life. and his short career In
public contains a mystery which
would try the mettle of Sherlock
Holmes
He was a BARRIERS apprentice who In
some unexplained way discovered a
passage into buckingham palace, with
which he alone was acquainted Whei
he was first found trespassing he wa
gently admonished and sent home
Soon after he was encountered again
In the palace. He would not tell how
he obtained access. Again he was sent
home. and again he reappeared.
Once he calmly admitted that he had
been lodging In the palace for II fort
night. He had laid snug during the
day. sleeping In the royal apartments.
and at nigh had wandered from room
to room. helping himself to the food
left over from royal repasts. He had
seen the queen repeatedly and indeed
had never been far from her
The matter was considered so seri-
GUS that the boy was summoned be.
fore special meeting Of the privy
council. He refused to give any ac-
count of his secret. Soon after he dis
appeared. and 1t Is supposed that he
was removed under state protection
London Globe.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-04-27

Paying the Doctor.

Some American doctors are In favor
of the contract system for medical
service, but they are still long way
from the Chinese scheme of stopping
the doctors salary when the patient
falls ill. The writer knows New
Yorker who says that IL ever he Is
threatened with an operation he will
ask the surgeon what II Is going to
cost. Then he will hand him the
amount at once with the assurance
that the fee goes whether the operation
comes Off or doesn't. He reasons that
the doctor will then have no possible
temptation II 1t comes to n toss up
whether To oDerate or take Il chance.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-04-27
DEEP SEA LIFE.
The Deposits on the Surface Of Sub
marine Mountains.

Whether or not the light of day
penetrates the obscure depths of the
sea has not been settled by scientists,
and the fact that some animals found
at depth exceeding 700 fathoms have
no eyes or q very faint indication OF
them, while others possess very large
and protruding eyes, helps to make
the dispute all the more sharp.
Another strange thing about the
lower depths Of the ocean Is that
when Its inhabitants possess any color
at nil that color is usually orange or
red or reddish orange-for example.
sea anemones, corals, etc. The sur
face Of submarine mountains Is strewn
with shells like the virgin seashore,
showing that 1t is the feasting place
of vast shoals Of carnivorous animals.
When Goldfish eats 1t takes an
oyster In its mouth. cracks the shell.
digests the meat and elects the shell.
Crabs crack the shells Of their smaller
neighbors and suck out the meat. This
accounts for the mounds OF shells
which are found beneath the waves.
All fish bones discovered there In
variably crumble Mt the slightest
touch so completely have they been
honeycombed by the boring shellfish,
and, further illustrating the constant
destruction going on In the oceans
depth, 1t Is said that If ship sinks TT
sea with all on board It will be eaten
by the fish. with the exception OF Its
metal portions. and not human bone
of It's crew will remain longer than n
few days st. Louis Dispatch.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-04-27
Salesmanship.

A salesman in furnishing store dis
played to friendly customer gem
tlcman's plain linen handkerchief ut
So The man had always thought he
was doing well to pay 50 cents ard
questioned the salesman about 1t.
GLOW eur II man figure II that he
gets his moneys worth when he pays
SIS for Il handkerchief? II doesn't
serve the purpose any better, and he
couldn't afford 10 tell any one that he
was big enough fool to pny that price.
"IIe gets his moneys worth" said
the salesman, from the added force
OF self respect that comes with his
own personal assurance that he has
the best that can he produced That
conviction helps him In urging his
point and IN swinging the big deal his
way, aud the 50 Is II mere Item OF In
cidental expense"
Ever afterward that customer gladly
paid more not only for handkcrchiefs.
but for every Item OF his wardrobe.
That is salesma nship Golfers
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-04-27
Mr.. BINNEYS FAILURE.
opiniot.5 by Neighbors, Creditors ans
His Family.

opinioi.j by Neiehbors, Creditors and
His Family.
Mr.. Binney failed In business.
One Of his neighbors said, AT lastT'
Another neighbor said: Il thought
they were going 1t pretty strong for a
man Of his income. STILL didn't like
to say anything at the time"
A third neighbOr said: "Oh, I'm so
sorry! My dear. we must go over and
give Mrs. Binney our deepest sympa-
thy. I'm dying to see how she Is TAX
ing it."
One brother-in-law said: IF he had
lent me that $500 asked him for last
year he'd have been that much ahead,
anyway. Much good 1t did him to
keep 1t. Too bad. though. of course"
Another brother-in-law said: "Sly old
boy, Binney He's got 1t sailed away
somewhere, all right. Don't you wor-
ry."
His butcher said: Now. Il poor man
like me has to pay his debts as he
goes along. All the same. I'm not
worrying about the $50 he owes me,
Uut u Del you IL ONeu any DOuy 9SO
they'd make my life misery till they
got It,"
His wife's best friend ito Mrs. Bin
neyJ: Now. my dear, you mustn't
mind any of the awful things you
hear. At Il time like this people will
talk"
A friend: "A man must either have
exceptional capital or exceptional abil-
ity to succeed in business nowadays.
Poor Binney. as 1t happens. had nei-
Their"
A second friend: How much will
he be able to pay? twenty-five cents
on the dollar? How did there come to
be so much? Did Binney overlook it."
A third friend: "Nlnety-fve per cent
of business enterprises are unprofita-
BILE. There's nothing like u steady
well paying position
A knowing acquaintance. wise old
Binney."
His daughters, I'VE must hold our
heads up higher than ever or people
will say that we are ashamed"
His wife. Hell be home more now.
and that IL everything"
Binney: "Whew. Thank heaven it's
over Now I've got to hustle and get
a jOb."-New York Sun.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-04-27
MADE WAGNER PAY.
An Early Sonata That Cost tho Com
poser Lot Of Money.

An Early Sonata That Cost tho Com
poser Lot Of Money.
Wagner when young man wrote u
sonata which had fair success, but
In after life he made every effort to
suppress 1t. Going to the publisher,
he said, Have you amy copies OF that
miserable thing still unsoldY
Yes" was the reply; Il have quite
a number of them In stock"
"Send them to me ut once. with a
BILL" said the composer
A thousand copies were soon after
ward delivered Mt his door The bill
was big one. but 1t WIS paid, some
what grudgingly. and Wagner thought
he had done with the thing. What
was his surprise, then. III receiving
two or three months later another
consignment. this time Of 500 copies.
Il thought you had only II thousand
of these things" he protested
THAT was all | had IN stock" ex-
planned the dealer. but these have
been returned by my agents. to whom
! wrote that you wished to have the
sonata suppressed
Wagner WINGED but there was moth
ing for II but to pay the bill. And
thereafter whenever business was dull
with this crafty publisher few hun
drcd copies of the sonata would be
struck off on shopworn paper and de-
livercd at the composers door with
n memorandum to the effect that they
had Just come back from remote
places where they Ind been sent for
sale
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-04-27
HE WAS NOT IMMORTAL.
A Test Thai Proved II Was Possible to
Kill a Spanard.

Kill Spaniard.
Early In the sixteenth century the
natives Of Porto Rico plotted to kill
the Spanlards on the island. There
was much doubt. however. as to
whether or not 1t was possible to kill
n Spaniard Many of the natives in
sisted that 1t was not. Finally 1t was
decided to make an experiment.
A young Spaniard who was passing
through an Indian village was hospita-
bly, received and fed. and then a num-
Der Of natives accompanied him on
his Journey. When he arrived at a
river his companions offered to carry
him across.
The young man accepted and was
taken up by two men and carried into
the water on their shoulders. Arriv-
Ing near the middle of the river. they
threw him In and held him down until
he ceased to struggle.
Then they carried him ashore with
proinse apologies. loudly proclaiming
that they stumbled by accident and
calling upon him to arise and continue
his Journey. But the young man did
not move, end finally the natives were
convinced that he was actually dead.
Having secured the proof they want
ed, the leaders Of the rebellion ut once
began a general attack upon the Span
Iards.-Blackwood's Magazine.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-04-27
A sinaular MARRIAGE Custom,

The Kurds have Il very curious nm,
somewhat dangerous marriage custom
which one would think would he NOR
honored IN the breach than In the oil
servance. The husband. surrounded
by IA bodyguard of twenty or thirty
young men, carries his wife home OH
his back In scarlet cloth and IL de,
perately assaulted the whole way by
number OF girls Sticks and stones
are hurled AT the bridegroom. who In
the coming home with his bride can
hardly be considered n very happy
man, for the irate amazons often In
fiict on him marks which he carries
to the grave. II may be that among
the lady pursuers are some Of the
bridegrooms former flames" who
turn the mock attack into downright
earnest to avenge sighted love
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-04-27
Grant In tina SaddIa

Grant was at his best In the saddle
The one real record that he made for
himself Mt the academy. the one time
that he excelled all his fellows, was
at the final mounted exercises Of his
graduating class. when. riding ia
nous horse named York. he was called
upon TO clear the leaping bar that the
grun old riding master had placed
higher than II mans head He dashed
out from his place In the ranks, a
smooth faced slender young fellow
on powerful chestnut sorrel. and
galloped down the opposite side of the
hall. turned and went directly at the
bar. the great horse increasing his
pace as he nenred It, and then, as II
he and his rider were one. rising and
clearing 1t with IL magnificent bound
The leap Is still recorded at the acade-
my as Grants upon York"-St. Mich
olaS
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-04-27
A CITY OF DANGERS.
Going Out at Night In MosuI Means
Importing Ones Life.

Going Out at Night In MosuI Means
Importing Ones Life.
Mosul, Oh the western bank of the
Tigris, is described in The Short Cut
to India" by David Fraser. as Il place
of some difficulty for the residents.
Prices of every mortal thing are dear
er than anywhere else In Turkey.
Water Is procured only from the II
girls, and every drop required must be
carried therefrom In skins upon don
keys. Two pounds month is very
ordinary expenditure on this essential
and provides but II scanty bath.
To go out at night Is to place ones
life In jeopardy. To walk across the
bridge In broad daylight is a danger
owing to the frailty of the structure.
The bridge Is wonderful affair and
yields an income of some thousands
of pounds annually to the contractor
who farms 1t from the government.
Three hundred yards of 1t Is solid ma
sorry and the remaining $50 yards a
wooden platform laid upon row of
crazy boats.
Where the bridge Of boats abuts the
shore at one end and the stone bridge
at the other are the points of danger.
for owing to the height of the river
when ! was there the Jennings were at
slope of forty-five degrees and con-
sisted Of narrow gangways up which
people. sheep, cattle. donkeys, mules,
horses and camels had to scramble.
No wonder there were many fallings
Into the water dangerous water. too
for 1t coursed like II cataract between
the boats and swirled and boiled In
fierce eddies and whirlpools below the
bridge
One poor Znhtie. with rifle slung and
bandoliers strapped across his chest,
was walking across when his horse
slipped at the ascent To the boat part
Of the bridge. and both fell into the
water. The horse was rescued, but
the man was drowned Life has small
value In Mosul. however. and nobody
bothered to mend the huge holes In
the bridge or to make Its passage less
preenrions.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-04-27
Ursarned Gratitude.

A sample OF the late DR. William
Everett's caustic rcpartee:
Il always experience sense Of deep
obligation 10 you whenever | meet you
or hear OF you." said George Babbitt
to DR.. Everett one morning when they
found themselves pacing the deck of
an ocean steamer together.
"Why 500" piped the doctor.
Because" said Mr.. Babbitt. Il re-
call that was once so fortunate as to
win the Boylston prize for oratory at
Harvard and you We're chairman Of
the board Of Judges"
Il remember 1t perfectly WE'LL" re-
Joined the brusque doctor. .'rhe
judges were FIVE In number At the
conclusion of the speaking we retired
to consider the merits Of the contest.
ants. 1t was moved that you be
awarded first prize On that motion
the vote was to In your favor. I
was one Of the two Boston Tran
script. ..ss>
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-04-27
He Sees Double.

His name isn't really Guzzler. but
1t will answer the purpose, and 1t Is
descriptive Guzzler has habit OF
looking upon the wine when 1t Is reu
frequently TO the extent that he can
see two bottles where only one exists
Now, Guzzler is married, and recently
the stork paid visit to his abode.
Several days after tho event two OF
his friends met, and the following
conversation ensued:
Hello. old man. Hear about the
doings over ut Guzzler'si"
mo. Another birthday party%
yes. in way. Guzzler's wife has
presented him witt twins"
How do you known
How do l know? Well, l ought to
know Guzzler told me himself"
well, l wouldn't place too much
dependence on it. You know Guzzler
generally sees double!'-New York
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-04-27
BLEEDING by Bowshot.

That all diseases can be cured by
bleeding is still firmly believed by sew.
eral savage tribes and especially by
the Papuan negroes. When one of
their physicians becomes convinced
that 1t is necessary to bleed patient
he goes several feet In front of him.
and then, drawing his bow. he fits Il
sharp pointed arrow To II and after
careful aim fires the arrow into the
vein which he desires TO open. The
arrow, 1t is said. invariably goes
straight to the mark. and the thorn or
splinter Of glass with which 1t is tip
ped does the work us successfully as a
lancet. Moreover. the patients never
show the slightest fear. since they are
convinced that from the moment the
arrows pierce their veins they will he.
gin TO recover
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-04-27
Corfu's Queer Laws.

Corfu can boast of the most peculiar
land laws II the world The landlords
ants hold the land on n perpetual lea~e
In return for rent payable In Kind
and fixed at Il certain proportion OF
the produce. Such u tenant Is consid-
cred II co-owner OF the soil. and he
cannot be expelled but for nonpayment
of rent. bad culture or the transfer of
his lease without the landlords con.
sent. Neither can his rent be raised
without his permission. Attempts
have been made to alter the law, bu'
both landlords and tenants are appa'
emily satisfied with system that dates
back to the time OF Homer
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-04-27

TAKE 1T IN TIME.
Just as Scores Of LambertvilIe People
Have.

Waiting doesn't pay.
If you neglect the aching back
Urinary troubles, diabetes, surely
follow.
Doan's Kidney Pills relieve back
ache,
Cure every kidney ill. cN
Lambertville citizens endorse them.
Mrs. J. NJ. Lewis, 81 n Union St, Lambert
vile, N. j., says: 81 suffered from headaches
and spells of dizziness for some time and my
back was sore and tender. There was also a
constant pain through my loins that caused
me much misery. finally learned Of Doan's
Kidney Pills and procuring box at Geo NJ.
Shama LAS Drug Store, / began their use.
The pains left my back, the other annoyances
disappeared and l have not been troubled
since. use Doan's Kidney Pills now and
then and they keep my kidneys in normal
condition.
For sale by all dealers. Price so
cents Foster Milburn Co, Buffalo,
New York, sole agents for the United
States.
Remember the name-Doan's-- and
take no other.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-04-27
A Hard Lot.

Nicaragua has been distinguished
even among Central American repub-
lies by the number Of Its revolutions.
Discovered by Columbus. 1t takes its
name from the chief who ruled 1t ut
the time of Its exploration by Doirla,
In 1000. or Its earliest rulers II has
been said that 1.-The first had been a
murderer. the second Il murderer and
rebel. the third murdered the seconG,
the fourth was forger and the fifth
murderer and rebel" Nicaragua
abounds In prehistoric remains. and In
some parts. II Is said. the inhabitants
still supply themselves with pottery
from the vast quantities preserved be-
low the surface.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-04-27

Winfred. six years old. was tying pa-
per boots upon the kittens paws when
his aunt demonstrated with him for
teasing the kitten. saying. II thought
you belonged to the Band of Mercy
Yes. auntie. do" said Winfred,
"but." he added alphabetically, my
badge Is on my other coat Delineator
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-04-27

The Womap-The tax office Ia one
which l simply love to go TO. The
Man-Very few people do Why do
YOU like II? The Woman Because It
Is absolutely the only place where no
discrimination is made against me be-
cause l am woman They let me
there pay just as much as II | were n
Baltimore American
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-04-27
Experience Would Tell.

II want an easy chair" said the
householder entering the store.
Yes. SIR" said the salesman What
sort?"
Il don't know yet" was the answer
LET me look into the boss Office and
see what he has. He ought to be n
Judge Buffalo Express.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1910-04-27
Quite q Comfort,

'There was II dime when they put
men IN jail for debt" said the bin col
lector severely
Well" answered the fretted citizen
Il don't know but II good. stout Jail
where your creditors couldn't send IN
cards or call YOU up on the telephone
would be n great deal OF comfort
Washington Star,