The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1910-11-02
PLATFORM HUMOR
Unexpected Diversions That
Were Not on the Bills.
BILL NYE'S TACTFUL QUERY.
1t Saved an Embarrassing Situation
and Turned a Painful Silence Into
Burst of Laughter-A Simple Notice
That Made an Audience Roar.

The funniest humor is the uninten-
tional kind. The best comedy is that
which has never been rehearsed or
premedltated. but springs to life in
close straits when everything Of sue
cess for the platform performer de-
pends on his holding the spot light OF
his audiences attention through a cru
cial strain caused by unexpected di.
version.
Some OF the involuntary humor Of
the platform Is worth remembering
and repeating. For instance:
Once upon time lecturer reached
his date at 1880. He had to get his sup
per. shave and dress between then and
the usual scheduled starting time.
s:15. Accordingly he dressed with more
haste than he had intended, and two
top buttons Of his trousers failed to
receive proper attention. This showed
plainly In the glare Of the footlights.
and bit Of his dress shirt protruded
noticeably. The audience had n hard
time being courteous and reconclllng
the Righteousness of the speakers ap.
pcarance with the serious dignity and
beauty OF his lecture. Still. all would
have been well but for the fact that at
the close of the address and while the
speaker still sat on the platform in his
unconscious dishabille the platform
manager rose and announced impress
sively:
'rhc next number on this splendid
course will be given two weeks from
tonight by Dr. Robert Mcintyre, who
will deliver his celebrated lecture
Ruttoncd Up People
The audience shreked, and to this
day. through the tender hearted for
bcarance Of those people, that lecturer
does not know why the announcement
of his confreres beautiful word pie
turc lecture created just that Kind of
enthusiasm.
At one time DR.. Thomas f. Green
was submitted to the long Introduction
agony. He stood it as patiently as
possible. and so did the audience, but
when the introducer ceased and bowed
out the paid speaker Of the evening
Dr. Green walked forward and said in
his most ministerial tone
Il am going to add phrase to the
litany, making 1T read as follows:
From our traducers and our intro
-ducers good Lord deliver us""
Sometimes town committee is can
tankerous and takes on degree Of
choiciness never dreamed Of or aspir-
ed to by a city committee. At one
time Elias Day, a makeup artist. was
behind the scenes laying out his wigs.
boards. etc, when committeeman
came back to see him. After the
usual greetings the committeeman
said:
II hope to goodness you're bctter'n
the last number on our course was"
"Who was it?" asked Mr.. Day.
"Dr. Russell Conwell OF Philadelfy.'
Didn't you like himT' asked Day In
a daze.
Rotten said the committeeman.
"Who came before that?"
"Leland II. Powers of Boston"
'Well. you liked him, Of course"
"Turrible rotten"
"And what did you have before
that?" asked Day. now prepared for
anything.
"Schumann-Ncink ard her compa-
ny"
Did YOU hear herr"
"Evcr'body a-kickin'. Said she was
poorcr'n home talent"
"Well," said Day, the scttlcdness OF
despair I'm his tone. you'll like me-
Rut perhaps the best instance OF per
feet adaptation on the spur of the mo-
mcnt IS found in an anccdotc Bob Bur
dettc vouchcd for as having been She
experience of his ilIustrious contcm.
porary Bill Nyc.
Nyc and Burbank were being starred
that year by Major Pond Incy were
doing the Canadian provinces and on
the night of the special episode were
at Victoria. British Columbia. Bur
bank was doing heavy dramatic work
as the best possible foil for Nye's
subttH and side racking humOr But
III Tie audience were several men who
had that evening tasted too frequently
OfSthc flowing bowl. These would oc-
casionally break forth with remarks
that were models of untimclincss
Finally, when Burbank was in the
midst of his most fascinating and trag-
ic reading and the audience was hold.
ing It's breath, one whose breath was
too strong IL be held burst out into
maudlin snatch OF song which utter
ly sidetracked and discouraged the lee
turer. The speaker stopped. lost and
confused beyond recall.
But just as the silence was begin.
ming to be felt Eye stepped blandly
laid his hand on his companions arm