Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1910-11-11

A Lovers Lobster
By DONALD ALLEN
Copyrighted. 1910. by Associated Literary Press

and especially so when his lady love
was with him. To have stated in Ee-
ply that he was carrying home live
lobster was beyond him. He would
perish first. He would lie first. He
did lie. He said it was a pair OF
was believed. 1t even gave Miss Kitty
warmer feeling at the heart to
know that she was soon to we'd q man
who cared whether his old mother
went around barefooted in the nipptng
frosts or had shoes to her feet.
Once aboard the car, they sat down
together as usual. They were chatty
and happy. She was going that eve
ming to learn how to trim her own
hats, and he was going to revive his
mothers lost appetite. Then, OF a
sudden, the dull thud came. Cupid
flew out and the live lobster craWled
in
Shoe store boxes get a great deal
OF handling. When business is dull
the clerks throw them across the
store at each other in sportive mood.
The one in which Mr. White was car
rying home the champion fighting
lobster had been sported with and
more or less wrecked. One end had
been busted and weakened The lob
ster hadn't been in the coop ten min
utes before he caught on. It was es-
cape or boiling death for him. He
didn't want to boil He went at that
weak corner and clawed and bit and
tore, with the result that ten minutes
after the lovers were seated in the
car, with the box between them, he
emerged into the sunshine of liberty.
1t is not necessary to read natural
history to learn that the first idea OF
lobster on getting his freedom is to
make for the salty sea; the next is to
nip any one In the way. This lobster
dropped to the floor with a thud and
clawed the happy Miss Kitty on the
ankle belonging to one Of those aris-
tocratic insteps. He clawed In earnest.
She sprang to her feet with a scream,
and then shouted:
Horace, the man here-he has
pinched mel"
Horace didn't lose time swearing by
the beard of his father. The man was
understood and thin and unhappy. He
had lost a dollar on the street the
day before, and was thinking Of 1t
when the gallant Horace knocked him
to the floor.
Miss Henderson got another bite,
screamed another scream, and Hor-
ace picked up a drug store clerk and
slammed him around without mercy.
Then the lobster started for the rear
platform, and that car became cir
Gus for the next five minutes. Women
shrieked and men swore, and the con-
ductor called for a shotgun.
In the midst of the uproar one could
hear the voice Of the girl with the in
STEP She had solved the riddle.
Mothers shoes were monster lob
ster! Horace had lied to her! He
had caused her to be clawed. He had
caused an uproar that must disgrace
her for life. He sought to explain, but
it was no use How could such thing
be explained? The understood man
said it couldn't possibly be, and the
drug clerk said he'd be hanged If 1t
could. The conductor also said that q
man who would deliberately permit a
fighting lobster to get away on a
street car was no gentleman, to say
the least.
Did Cupid come again? oh, yes.
That match was made in heaven, and
an earthly lobster couldn't spoil it..
After weeks and weeks, with a writ
ten confession and apology daily from
Horace-after the mothers lost appe-
tite had been restored by salt macker-
ell, there was making up. The papers
said that there was a marriage-mar-
rage and dinner-with lobster left
out!