davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-07-03

sions are: Length, 30 feet: breadth. n
! feet, and mean draft, II feet 8 inches
She has a normal displacement of 81.
tons, and an indicated horsepower o
1879. with an average speed of 12o'
| knots Her main battery consists o.
two twelve-inch rifles and four four
| inch rapid firerS, and her secondar,
| battery consists of three siN-pounders
| eight one Founders and two thirty-calibel
machine guns. During several years pas
| the Ozark formed one of the Specia
squadron attached to the Naval Academy
| manned by the midshipmen on their prac
tice cruises along the Atlantic coast.
| or the enrolled strength of the 1st
Separate Battalion 80 per cent report
ed at the rifle range during the past
week and over 60 per cent of those
! present and firing qualified as marks
men. While this record is a Slight inn
provement over that of last year at
this time, it leaves much hard work
on the part of the officers to bring the
battalion record up to that Of 1909.
| OF the battalion staff there were
IL per cent, all of whom qualified
Company A-44 present, 1 qualified as
J sharpshooter and "a marksmen
Company BE- present, 1 qualified as
sharpshooter and % as marksmen
Company C-37 present. 22 qualified as
marksmen; Company D-33 present, ~
qualified as markSmen.
In the firing at moving targets the
| company averages were as follows:
Company A, 12.43: Company 3, 1913
Company c, 23.J7; Company d, 24.35.
Lieuts: and Adits. Epps and Cardozo
We're present during the tour OF duty
and rendered valuable aid in the range
Capt King, superintendent Of the rifle
range. will submit his report showing
the number who have attended the
camp Of instruction which was practi-
cally closed when Companies c and u
of the 1st Separate Battalion fired their
last scoring shots Friday afternoon.
Il
The new rifles for use of the brigade
rifle team have been turned over TO
Lieut. McAnally, the team captain, and
will be used in the match with the
Marine Corps team in the shoot Monday.
An opportunity will be afforded c1tl-
zens to spend a portion of the Fourth
in a most safe and sane manner by
witnessing the rife match between the
marines and District riflemen.
The match is scheduled to start
ing will be devoted to 2o0-yard slow
and rapid fire and GOO-yard slow fire.
The shooting at 1000 yards Will star!
about l O'Clock This will be followed
by the skirmish firing.
These distances and character OF firing
cover the. schedule. included in the ma
tional match, which is to be shot Al
Camp Perry, Ohio. commencing August
Do in which IT is expected that teams
representing over forty states and the
District of Columbia-besides the regular
service teams-will participate. 1t viii
be worth the time of any citizen who is
Interested in knowing what is being done
TO encourage rifle practice throughout
the country to spend few hours OF
Monday in witnessing this miniature
Camp Perry contest.
During the voluntary practice season
which is now on, Tuesdays and Thurs
dave after o'clock nm will be for
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-07-03
Better Wireless.

From L'Amour.
And are you on good terms with your
mother-in-law?"
Excellent We only speak by tele-
phone"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-07-03

During the voluntary practice season.
which is now on, Tuesdays and Thurs
DAYS. after / o'clock pm. will be for
skirmish firing when it is desired, also
for firing at moving target by experts
and sharpshooters. Targets at distances
which do not interfere with this class or
firing will be available for practice.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-07-03
We Get Results
The Questionable Cradle.

QUICKLY. SELLING REAL ESTATE.
BOSS PHELPS tInc.D. 80 l4th NV
iep
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-07-03

The observers and directors OF the reg
ular army assigned TO the District regi-
ments are: First District Of Columbia
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-07-03

The new rifles for use of the brigade
rifle team have been turned over to
Lieut.. McAnally. the team captain, ana
will be used in the match with the
Marine Corps team in the shoot Monday.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-09-11
TAKING Gnu SERVICE txAnuNAT1oN

chauffeur to cook, from Jail guard to
farmer and from shoemaker 10 physi-
clan the catalogue runs.
The best chance for appointment, they
tell me at the commission. will be shared
by young man stenoeraphers willing to
begin with anywhere from $500 TO
$1,O3O per annum. and the next best
chance is open To young man bookkeep-
ers who will not shy at from $40 TO
S1.C9O The governments supply of good
stenographerS OF the sterner sex has
never equaled the demand. despite the
great opportunities which Washington
offers the diligent young departmental
stenographer who educates himself at a
night college. a la George B. Cortelyou
and scores OF others.
The highest entrance salaries lately
given to successful competitors for offices
on this falls examination schedule are
22.p obtained by new clerks i'll the
Panama canal service. who, however.
NAV have to start a. $3.50: and S2.tc0
given. to architectural craftsmen and
superintendents OF construction. both
working on public buildings: also boiler in
spectors in the steamboat inspection serv-
ice, but only a few of these places are
generally filled in year.
The largest class of new appointees
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-09-11

during the sea voyage over and the latter
does not pay the travel money or the half
salary until after two years OF service.
You have no chance of getting 10 Pan
anna unless you qualify a clerk. time
keeper, stenographer. typewriter. drafts
man. surgeon. physician. hospital inferno
or trained nurse and with your applica-
ton for examination you must now hte
an unmounted photograph of yourself
taken within the past two years. Al
though your family cannot go along with
you, you can send for them after you have
arrived and found quarters for them.
They can go down from New York at the
government rate of $50 for adults and $50
for children between six and twelve.
Meals are included in this charge and
youngsters under six so free.
Free homes are provided for single men
who can live in bachelor quarters. but
the canal commission has announced 10
competitors in this falls examination that
II docs not obiigate itself to furnish mar
ried or family quarters"
You will be free from doctors bills Ii
you 60 to the isthmus. There the gov
eminent guarantees the employees the
free medical and hospital attendance
which army and naval officers receive
Those going to Manila get their medical
attention gratis, but have to pay for
hospital care The Philippine service also
demands that you be ''mugged' before
entering its service but the portrait that
you file with il can be a back number
by three years instead of two. as in the
Panama service.
Vacations are generous in both of these
tropical services. and so Is pay. You get
six weeks per year. with pay, from the
Panama commission If you are salaried
by the month or year. while the Philip
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-09-11
Not His Fault.

ELEMENT J. DRISCOLL. New York )
- commissioner Of weights and meas
ures. advocates the sale of bread strictly
by weight.
Some bakers oppose this idea," he said
the other day. They prove that 1t is bet
ter for the poor TO trust TO the baker 8
generosity than TO pin him down as
butchers and grocers are pinned down
now.
We'll, il seems TO me that these bakers
are as illogical and absurd as the beg
gar who wore a placard saying: i have
only six months to live He was a ro-
bust beggar. but the placard touched all
hearts. and through its agency he must
have made six or seven dollars a day.
"A Philadelrhian who had helped the
bcggar literally in Philadelphia in 1905,
came across the fellow wearing the same
placard in Los Angeles N 1909.
Why, YOU ought to be ashamed of
yourself the Philadelphia cried. Only
six months to live. forsooth. You were
saying that five years ago
Well, growled the beggar, 1T amt my
fault, is it, if the doctors make mis-
takes?"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-09-11
The Writing Person and the Door Bell

law, | amt got no time L be movin'
junk round he said. Dye want this
ice?'
The Writing Person thereupon per-
ceived that the intimation clearly had
been conveyed that he was expected 20
move the things in the ice box so the
ice could be placed therein. So he moved
the things.
Ii required quite lot of adroitness In
move the things i'm the ice box. and
adroitness OF the manual-dexterity kind
is an article of which this Writing Per
son, probably in common with all other
Writing Persons. possesses not one
nickels worth.
But lie moved the things i'm the Ice
box SO that the ice could be put in. The
thugs to be moved i'm the ice box were
many. There was a plate of cold roast
veal. on top of which the cold gray.
clanlmy. grisy remains Of the gravy had
been poured. In lifting this plate of
cold veal from the ice box the Writing
Person accidentally permitted the cold
veal to slide off the plate atop of the
butter. Then. without removing the
clammy veal from the butter. he lifted
both butter and veal from the ice box
and deposited the hideous- looking mess
on top of the stationary washtub along
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-09-11

ers and sewers wanted for repairing mail
bags.
For young men on the farm there are
on the catalogue such positions as farmer.
gardener, dairyman. forest ranger ana
forest supervisor. on Indian reservations
and i'm forest reserves.
Chauffeurs are on the list and 50 are
elevator conductors. hut while The for
mcr need take no educational test the
latter guardians of our safety must pass
an examination il letter writing. spelling.
arithmetic. penmanshp and copying!
Women's chances for winning in this
great autumnal rae for office seem to be
small compared with what they were
back in the days which stocked the gov
eminent departments full of fair wie.ders
of the pen and hammerers OF the lettered
ley. Male stenographers and typewrit-
ers'' il the way the civil service commits
sion describes the demand and IL adds
that there is practically no demand for
female pookkeepers." And its latest table
shows that of COO men who passed the
stenography and typewriting examination
in a year as many as AZ received ap-
pointments, whereas of Al women who
passed only 101 received positions. The
bookkeeping examination tells a worse
tale Thirty per cent OF the man, but
only IL per cent OF the woman eligibles
finally got positions. And while nearly
half the men who passed the clerks ex-
animation received their appointments
less than a seventh of the women who
passed We're employed. The trouble Is
that when a department sends TO the civil
service commission a requstion for an
eligible to any of these positions, it may
now designate the sex wanted, and IN
the great majority OF cases men are
called for. The largest class of women
now receiving government positions are
designated as skilled laborers, female"
and several hundred year are appointed
in the government printing office and Du-
reau Of engraving and printing. Outside
stenographer, typewriter, bookkeeper and
clerk 515 women took the last civil service
examination reported and of these 81
passed, while 131 were appointed-i5 as
teachers, AZ as matrons and l. ~ trained
nurses upon Indian reservations; two
dozen as nurses in Panama and seven as
scientific assistants" in the Department
of Agriculture. And yet members OF
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-09-11
SAVING Five.

EARL POULETT complained. during
- his recent visit to New York, about
the high cost of cab fares.
In London he said. IAN excellent
Fiat or Renault taxicab costs only eight
pence. or IL cents, a mile, but here the
charge Is 30 cents half mile That Is
outrageous.
Il can readily believe the story ] heard
the other evening in roof garden.
prominent doctor. the story ran, was
awakened about o'clock in the morning
by a man who said:
Doctor, my wife is very Ill. We live
eight miles out in the country. What will
you charge to come to the mouse at
once?
The charge will be So, sir. the doctor
answered.
Very, WELL. said the man. and ten
minutes later he and the physician were
bowling swiftly. in a good car, TO the
help of the sick woman.
Coon they drew up at the house. The
physician was about to descend. but the
man laid his hand on his arm. and at the
same time pressed a fire-dollar bill into
his palm
That will be all. doctor. he said. i
couldn't find a taxicab to run me out for
less than a ten-spot. :
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-09-11
MIR. Bangsmith and His News Value"
aEa N NOM N Eaza N

got swelly around the fichu. and told me
that since | was anxious to know why.
that you'd just broken ii off in all of your
friends in that mining deal
4 .
Said he didn't want to deny that YOU
had some good traits and all like that.
but that you'd sold a lot OF your pals
punches OF punk mining stock, knowing
all the time that the junk wasn't worth
the paper it was printed on. and that you
took a lot OF their notes for the stock
and discounted the notes. and that when
the smash came and the notes had to go
TO protest why. you squeezed EN- like
apples i'm a cider press and-oh, hull lot
more stuff like that. Course | didn't take
any kind o stock in Eds rave. and
wouldn't mention 1t to you at all except
that / think you're entitled 10 know what
kind Of animus he has toward YOU, but,
look a-here il you're going 10 stick Eddie
up about this the next time you ease into
Washington. why. you're remembering. OF
course, that my name is not even 10 be
mentioned, and that
Hey, what's coming off here anyhow
What are you grinning and chuckling
about? You win. YOU say? Win what ?
What is IL YOU win? How's thatp You
made a bet with Eddie Nudgebye that il
he told me something concerning you I'd
tell you all about ii for lead-pipe cinch.
and now YOU win the bet? Huh. That
queer kind of bet to make? Oh. well.
! guess you're only kidding. What, Not
kidding? You really made that bet and
win it? oh. well. what's the diff? Ed
die Nudgebye is an albright little Teller at
that, only you know he
Getting out here, hey? Well. this is
only a block or SO from where I'm going.
so I'll get off. too. S'long, old hawss,
Don't you eat or sleep till you get a wire
from me, hey Ha. ha. ha. s'long."
CLARENCE l.. CULLEN.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-09-11
He Was Guilty.
x1Rs. HARRY LEHR. at luncheon

R1RS HARRY LEHR. at luncheon in
Ivl Newport. ridiculed the assertion of
n French novelist that men object 10
cigarette women because their
sense OF smell is so exceedingly delicate
and keen.
..If mans sense OF smell were really so
extraordinary, said Mrs Lehr, ne
couldn't stand his rooms and clothes and
mustache all saturated with stale tobacco
and whisky fumes.
Mans keen sense of smell. And yet
how well the average man Is hit of by
the story of the tramp arrested for va
grancy.
the magistrate said to him.
"'Well, my man, what is the charge
against your
.Fragrancy, your honor the tramp re-
Piled
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-09-11

under lock and key in the governments
central employment agency. the civil
service commission.
The examiners have lists CT the prop
erly nominated candidates for the az
ferent bertnS, and none others VIII De
admitted. To become candidate you
need simply nominate yourself IN TINS
wise: First, drop postal or wire 70
the Secretary. Civil Service Commis-
sion, Washington. ID. @, asking ior
application blank and be sure to name
the exact position you want. Also ask
for a manual of examinations. Whlch
also will be supplied free of cost,
If you fill out the blank just as direct
ed YOU will receive a ticket admitting
YOU to the examiners. Besides these gen
eral ones, to be held throughout the
country on the two days named. addi-
tional examinations will be held in the
same cities on odd dates during the lat
ter half OF September. or later dates IN
the autumn, and perhaps the test you
want will he on those special schedules.
which the Washington office viii furnish
YOU If YOU are mechanic and Would
like to serve at your trade with govern
ment pay you may stay right at nome
and answer the questions put to you.
From kindergarten to detective, from
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-09-11
A Unique Occurrence.

CTHER BURBANK, the plant wizard.
- at dinner at Santa Rosa. praised
California as a winter and summer re-
sort
Besides our superb climate and our
superb scenery" ended Mr.. Burbank,
there is the further advantage of our
reasonable prices. There are no Monte
Carlo prices here.
AT q Monte Carlo hotel the proprietor
said one day TO the clerk:
his bill yet?
Yes, sir, said the clerk. I sent it up
to him an hour ago
Strange, unused the proprietor. AS
! passed his door just now l heard him
singing"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-09-11
He Took the Blame.

Il CGUST HERRMANN, the new grand
"A exalted ruler of the Eiks, said at an
Elks' banquet in Detroit:
1.-The guilty man always gives himseit
away. for. like the chap VINO bought the
forty-cent bathing suit. he can't hide his
guilty conscience.
"The chap | have in mind entered the
water at Atlantic City in forty-cent suit
of blue flannel As he splashed about he
was Joined by a girl friend. The girl
flashed her bright eyes over the tumbling
expanse of sea. and then, with a sigh of
delight, she said
Isn't the water blue today?"
It's shameful said the man, with a
hot blush it's perfectly shameful how
this cheap bathing flannel runs"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-09-11
Pilgrims Progress John.

CORNELIUS v. COLLINS. the superin-
- tendent OF New York's prisons, said
in Troy of a discredlted penologist:
He is as ignorant Of prisons as Deacon
Smith was of religion.
Deacon Smith, you know, once began
a religious lecture with these words:
Ladies and gents. there's three Johns
mentioned in the Good Book. There's
fustly, John the EvanGsl. second. John
the Baptist and three, John the Banion. .
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-09-11

However. his interest in what he was
doing presently came back. and lie was
handing the typewriter keys a walloping
that sounded like a burro playing
xyIopllone solo on a Venetian blind, his
mind way. way of from flats and bells
and things-when the zinz-zing Of the
kitchen bell assaued his tympanum again.
"Butterneggs,' said the aggressive-look-
ing young man who confronted him at the
kitchen door this time.
''Butterneggs.' repeated the Writing
Person in a muffied tone. 'Butterneggs.
Ye-eh. Sure. What does that mean?
Butternesgs?"
"H'much butter n h'many eggs y want
t'day?" inquired the aggressive young
man.
The Writing Person had just about as
acute an idea Of how much butter and
how many eggs he wanted that day as M
had of the fourth dimension. He didn't
say il Just this way. but he conveyed that
inference. The aggressive young man
went away upon being told he'd have to
come back ON the morrow. He muttered
much as he went.
Thirty-seven more times did the bell tin
kle The Writing Person answered each
ring His wife found him. when she re-
turned, inhaling bottled beer in the kitch-
en- and lac was quite chinny and things
He'd done just four lines of typewriting.
CLARENCE L. CULLEN.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-09-11

side the ice box. Then there was a
plate of cold. sad-looking macaroni. a
lot of strands. If you'd call 'em strands,
of the chilled macaroni slid off the plate
IL was being lifted out of the ice box
by the Writing Person, the loose ends of
the macaroni falling into bowl of
sliced peaches.
The Writing Person desisted from re-
moving the chunks OF macaroni from the
sliced peaches. but lifted all the stuff
out in a lump. In striving to get a
clutch on an open bottle of buttermilk
that was wedged between the remains of
yesterdays hunk of ice and the ice box
wall. the Writing Person overturned the
bottle of buttermilk and smeared the
thick, curdly. lumpish fluid all over the
bottom of the ice box compartment In
lifting out the wooden plaque of lard
the Writing Person got his hands all
larded up just exactly as if he'd been
engaged in greased-pig contest at the
Rockville fair; and by the time he'd got
all Of the things out of the ice box TO
enable the perspirey and gloomy fceman
TO put the hunk OF ice in, why, the Writ
ing Person felt as IL he needed about four
and a quarter hours in a Turkish bath.
The iceman put the ice away, clomped
off down the. kitchen stairs muttering.
and the Writing Person. quite forget
ting to replace in the ice box the
14,567,S93 articles that he'd removed
from the ice box, went back to his
work.
The Writing Person had just caught
q cute mental image OF the introduction
To his story, when the kitchen bell OF
the fiat hinged again.
Remarking n few throaty remarks
for himself. the Writing Person went
to the door \ pleasant lopkln- 3eapg
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-09-11
Compliment to a Double.

X mr.. ROOSEVELT. on his famous visit
IVA to the Pennsylvania mines, met
one Of his many doubles. AS he gave the
double q hearty handshake he laughed
and said:
I'm delighted to meet you. 1 think
you look more like me than any of my
other doubles. In fact, the resemblance
is perfect, and have no doubt that IL YOU
stood before me i'm a frame l could shave
you"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-09-11
The Last Resource.

II CHANDLER EGAN, the golf cham
: IL pion, said. on the Wheaton links. of
poor player:
THE other day he had a rather dis
agreeable. sneering sort of caddie. He
approached the third hole fairly well. but
couldn't hole the ball After a half
dozen wretched and unsuccessful puts,
he turned TO his sneering caddie and said
We'll, what am | to do, anyway
:" Oh. said the caddie get down on yer
knees and blow il in
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-09-11

Uncle SamucI + an easy DUsS.
He will open branch employment
agencies in the biggest SO cities CT the
United States on the second "Wednesday
Of September and October-the T.ostmas-
ter will tell ycu the street and number
TIE doors will be open at $50 am, ana
at y the official examiners, in me
presence OF the candidates for office, will
break the seals on the secret lists OF
que stions sent on from Washington.
where for some weeks they have been
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-09-11
When You're a CaruSo.

OwEN MILLER, the head of the
~ American Federation of Musicians.
said in his ST. Louis Office, apropos or
Labor day:
''Cnionism has done wonders for mu-
sicians. The average musician has. OF
course, only average ability. Hence "a
the matter OF salary he needs support
You know he isn't like Caruso.
a reporter once said TO Caruso:
What is your price per night:'
Per night? caruso chuckled. You
E.lea1 PER lCte.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-09-11

HE Writing Per-
sons wife came
into his writing
room just as he
was about TO start
to write.
Beloved. said
she mot ironically.
we hope), will
you mind II SO
much %
The Writing Per-
son glanced at her