davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1910-01-05
VERY FINE BIRDS.
His Wife's Comment on the Result Of
His Hunting Trip.

His Wife's Comment on the Result Of
His Hunting Trip.
The braggadocio of the common va.
riety Of husbands generally sooner or
later falls before the Keen Insight that
most women have OF human nature IN
general and Dragging husbands In par
tcular. A witty southern woman was
invariably unsuccessful as "A hunter,
was continually boosting OF his XIII
ings
AS he was returning home one even
ing after aN all day hunting trip 1t oc.
Cured to him that the usual accom-
paniment of an empty game bag was
not in accordance with his Oft boasied
skill as Il hnnter and that his wife
would again have the joke on MIN. III
be went to the market aud purchased
two brace of partridges.
AS he entered the house he threw
them on the table with great pclat and
exclaimed, Wen, you dear oiu uUuUL
er, you see that | am handler with the
gun than you give me credit Tor beng.
after all; now don't yOuy'
Milady picked up the birds and ex.
amined them very carefully. AS she
looked mp after the examination he
said:
Fine birds, my dear very tine birds.
are they notT
Robert" responded the wife. turn
ing up her nose. you were only JUST
In time In shooting those birds today
Tomorrow it would have been ever.
lastingly too late."-St. Louis Repub
lie
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1910-01-05
Didn't Teach Him That Trick.

THAT'S VERY knowing animal o
yours" said a cockney gentleman to
the keeper of an elephant
Very" was the cool rejoinder.
he performs strange tricks and
hantics. does hep inquired the cock
ney, eying the animal through bis
glass.
"Surprisin'v retorted the keeper.
We've learned him to put money in
that box you see up there. Try him
with half crown"
The cockney handed the elephant
half a crown. and. sure enough, he
took It in his trunk and placed 1t In a
box high up out of reach.
well. that Is very hextraordinary-
hastonishlng. truly!' said the green
one, opening his eyes, Nov let's see
him take 1t out and and 1t back"
I'VE never learned him that trick"
retorted the keeper and then turned
away to stir up the monkeys and
punch the hyenas.-London Tit Bits.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1910-01-05
What She Imagined.

Don't imagine" he said after she
had refused him. "that ! am going
away to blow my brains out or drink
myself to DEATH"
"No." she replied. II have no idea
that you will do anything of that kind.
You are going away to do some won
derful thing which will bring you
wealth and fame and make me regret
all the rest OF my life that l didn't be-
lieve you when you intimated that you
were one of the greatest little men
that had ever come over the asphalt"
Chicago Record Herald.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1910-01-05
Rearranqina the Basis.

"You are charging me 81 a week fol
board and lodging. Mrs. lrons." said
the gray haired person of the name Of
Harris. May ! ask how you would
itemize it? What part of it is for
boardY'
Five dollars" replied the landlady.
"And 50 for my room"
"Yes."
"Well, If you don't mind. Mrs. Irons"
he said, proceeding to square up for
another week. well consider here
after that I'm paying you S. for lodg-
ing and 81 for board. 1t win seem
more as If were getting the worth Of
my money."-Chicago Tribune.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1910-01-05
A KINGLY PICTURE.
Slovenly Figure Cut by Charles XII. Of
Sweden.

Distance lends eDchantment to the
Imagination as well as to the actual
vision. This IL fortunate circum-
stance. for the real truth about some
Of the heroes at history might to II per-
sou today bring disenchautmeDt and
even disgust. Charles XII. of Sweden
may claim the worlds admira tiUu as u
military genius. but from Mr. Mortilps
description of the monarch. given In
the "Story of Poland" that gentleman
would be anything but an agreeable
addition to society.
HE wears black Grape cravat, but
the cape of the coat is always button
ed so closely that one cannot see H..
His shirt and wristbands are always
dirty. He wears no ruffles nor gloves
and bis hands are commonly the same
color as his wristbands. so you can
hardly distinguish them. His hair is
light brown. very short and never
combed but with the fingers.
He begins dinner with big piece
Of bread and butter, having stuck his
napkin under his chin. Between every
two bits of meat he eats bread which
he buffers with his thumb. He Is nev-
er more than a quarter of an hour ut
his meals, eats like horse and never
speaks a word"
A kingly picture. indeed. savoring Of
romance and knightly fashion!
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1910-01-05
HE REFORMED.
A Flash Of Lightning Made Him See
His Evil Ways.

A Flash Of Lightning Made Him See
His Evil Ways.
group of men sitting on the dry
goods boxes In front of country
store were discussing big storms.
"There's no use In talking" remark
ed one of them. I'VE are all badly
scared in a thunderstorm"
81 remember one time when I was.
sure enough" said another. 1T was
about year after was married, and
I was on my way home from town. 1t
began to thunder and tighten when |
was about halfway there. and the rain
fell In sheets. stopped under a big
tree. ! knew that wasn't safe. but |
thought I'd risk it.
I'm few minutes the lightning
struck a tree about q hundred feet
away, and fell down, either from the
shock or from fright. don't know
which to this day. But got up again,
and my hair rose on end when | re-
membered that had a plug of tobac-
CO in my pocket"
''What had that to do with it?"
"Nothing but this: My wife didn't
know chewed tobacco. She hated
the weed like poison. What If ! had
been killed and that plug of tobacco
found In my pocketT thought |
think had the worst fright right
then that ever had in my life."
"Well?'
well, before the next dash came l
took that plug out Of my pocket and
threw 1t as far as could send It, and
have never chewed tobacco SINCE"
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1910-01-05
Tho Fortune TeIlers.

Lady-Poor man! So you are Just
out Of jail: Tramp Yes, mum. was
a victim of fortune tellers ten years
ago. Lady-Indeed? Tramp-Yes. mum.
The district attorney told me where
I'd ever been and what I'd ever done
during my whole life. and the Judge
predicted where would be for the
next ten years.-Puck.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1910-01-05
Fashion Note.

isn't your hat rather curious in
shape" asked the uninformed man.
Certainly" answered his wife. 1T
has to be. Any hat that wasn't curl
ous in shape would look queer
Washington Star.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1910-01-05

Judge-I'll have to fine ye 500 FOR ex-
ceeding che speed limit. Jack Scorch-
er-Look here judge. this young lady
and l wast to get married. Eemit the'
fne and you get The job I:rookiyD
Life,
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1910-01-05
Never Forqets EN-,

maud is continually giggling. She
seems to have an ever present sense Of
humor."
mot at ALL What she has is simply
an ever present consciousness Of dim.
ples."-Boston Transcript.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1910-01-05
His Share.

Councilman-I've come to see II you
will subscribe anything to the town
cemetery. Old Resident-Good gra-
cious! I've already subscribed three
wives.-London Telegraph.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1910-01-05

Il understand that Frailman mas
come to the conclusion to contest his
wife's WILL"
'Well. what is there courageous
about that? She's dead. isn't she?"
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1910-01-05
A Linen Shower.

Helen-The friends of the bride elect
are going to give her linen shower.
Harold What's a linen shower? Hel.
en-It's shower in which the rain
comes down In sheets.-Exchange
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1910-01-05

Sunday School Teacher-Now. Tom
my, what does the story OF the prod
igal son teach? Tommy-it teaches
US how TO get fresh VEAL Chicago
News.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1910-01-05
Tha Toucn of Fortune.

"What do Won think. my dear? Such
luck. We leave for Paris In an hour"
YES; we're going to Pasteurs. My
hushnrd has Just been bittrn By a
mad dog."-Bon vivant.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1910-01-05
Varied Formula.

Ibid he tell the whole truth?"
practically. He told the truth with
a nole just large enough for him TO
crawl out of it," Puck,
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1910-01-05
Reynoldsville

Has modern schools and churches, paved
streets. water, gas and electric accommoda-
tions, convex ent trolley service high and
heathful location, varied employment for
labor and many other residential advantages
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1910-01-05
Reynoldsvine

Offers exceptional advantages for the loca-
tion of new industries Free factory sites
cheap and abundant fuel, direct shipping
facilities and low freight rates and plentiful
supply OF laborers.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-08-11

clans to the properly constituted auth
critics of all cases Of contagious and
infectious diseases which come under
their observation.
1t is passing strange that su h j law
is not now in operation in this state.
But there is no real reason for further
delay in the premises. 1t would be well
for the voters to jog up the memory
Of the men who are running for the
legislature in their districts on this
subject. Kansans appear to be proud
of the fact that they are progressive
in politics, and many Of the questions
on which they take progressive stands
are not of as essential Importance to
themselves and their STATE as this ma
ter Of vital statistics. The enactment
of an adequate law on this subject
would be a progressive step worth
while. a move of value to the whole
people Of the state.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-08-11
A IlEsBIAN MOOD

An amber haze of lotus-dreamers' revery
Enshrouds low-swelling. vine-o erwoven
That trend away from sea-laved sweeps
Whose giinting grains do emulate the
foam,
To which. in lovers clasp. they yield
themselves;
And from that white embrace they oft
emerge
In fairer grace of bow-distended curve.
Gided by such artistry of mist, how the
hills
Show gentler suavities of linear bend,
Does their blue bosom long for drowsy
chimes.
Even as yearned the 1otus-eaters' wish
For mere oblivion of a lifetime's past
For slumberous sensing OF the present
Whose only merit Is the mood that calls
Remembrance but madness of the mind
The lambent motion of expressive. san
That sensitively press the lap of earth,
A thrill of kinship. wine-warm in its
glow;
Limbs, torsi, regal brows, perfected
Eyes that. to win reflex of such peace,
Have sought and dared to meet the eyes
OF Jove!
William struthers. in the Boston Trans
cript.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-08-11

GLORY bel" shouts the Abilene Re
flector. 'Women's hats are to be
smaller next winter"
The Leavenworth Post has noticed
that the people who can't afford au-
tomobiles are always up" on the pro-
nunciation of garage"
A prominent educator says every
child is born a liar. notes the Hutch
inson News and then it adds: But
some acquire an advanced standlng
that is marvellous"
There is some fun in running a
newspaper this week, says Paul Love-
well. 1t is not time to begin to urge
people to go and register and too ear
ly to exhort them to go and vote.
Charlie Blakesley has received a
wireless dispatch from Garden City
reporting that the last weeks insur-
gent landslide carried out two spans
of Ralph Faxon's Concrete Bridges.
Perhaps" said local candidate
to the Abilene Reflector. mot all men
are liars, but those in one precinct in
this county come near it. Nine men
in it signed my petition and I did not
get VOTE
Attention is called by the Kansas
City Star to the fact that one of the
officers of the newly organized Ger
man-American bank in Great Bend is
Patrick E. Murphy. But then, there
is nothing in a name, albeit
An assistant attorney general to en-
force the prohibitory law is evidently
needed in Miami county. Reports
from Paola are to the effect that the
people Whereabouts are seeing more
snakes this year than ever before.
A Chicago man who was in a cru
SADIE to prove the impurity of pop
drank IA bottles of the stuff and was
taken sick. What pity, thinks the
Wichita Eagle, that man with such
a magnificent thirst should SO abuse
his advantages.
ct have heard the whale that swal-
lowed Jonah commended because it
did not Fletcherize its food" re-
marked Bill Sincaller the other day to
the Vinland Vine, but to my mind
the best thing about it all was that
Jonah was the only man in trouble
who did not lay it onto woman"
/ Kansas people made entirely too
much fuss about the heat. Those who
have gone away and have been per-
fectIy truthful about it, have admit
ted that the atmosphere was cooler
and the conditions more comfortable
at home. Yet we have rolled all over
the house and told about it with ex-
aggerated phrases to our neighbors.
We are all a queer lot.-Lawrence
Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-08-11
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[From the Atchison Globe.l
Journal.

[From the Atchison Globe.]
The surest way to get out of diff
Guilty is before you get in.
Company always gets the boy of the
family into trouble.
Everyone believes everyone else is
either extravagant or stingy.
Hair does not make the woman,
particularly If it is jute hair.
A mother is occasionally satisfac-
tory to the children, but their father
never is.
There is certain work in your ca
reer that you must do yourself, or 1t
won't be done.
Why are you so indignant because
people talk about matters that do not
concern them? You do 1t.
When you are tempted to run for
office, remember that many people
will talk friendly who do not mean 1t.
Somehow it always sounds like a
woman's tea party when one man
says to another, Il want to chat with
YOU"
Atchison has the most remarkable
man in the world: he works on a
salary and says he gets all he is worth.
AS a man grows older, time flies SO
fast that he seems to spend good
deal of his time switching from coal
bills to ice bills.
A mOCnoT never really
her boys; she never thinks they are
like other boys, which is the truth,
but that they are better or worse.
You all know that a family horse.
we'll treated, will become lazier and
lazier. But you needn't laugh at the
family horse; we all do the same
| thing.
What is said behind your back is
the community's estimate of you. And,
perhaps. not one of us realize how
| free people are in talking about us
when we are not present
There was to be company to din
ner The mother said to the boy of
the family: Now, Willie, If you will
keep your eyes off that pie until I
cut it, 1 will give you ten cents"
You often say: 1--WE never had a
chance" Nonsense; you have had
every chance in the world. If you do
not know it, you do not know as much
as you should, and are railing at Fate
unfairly.
| 1t is a better thing to give a dol
lars worth of work for a dollar. than
| to give a quarters worth of work and
the balance in compliments, though
the results are not always as agree
able to the man who gives q dollars
worth for a dollar.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-08-11
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

IF'rom the Chicago News-1
Do your duty today and don't worry
about tomorrow
When a woman is talking she isn't
doing something worse.
It is a common mistake for man to
think himself a lady killer.
If man doesn't know when he is
well off the chances are he isn't.
If you would enjoy life, make up your
mind to let the other fellow do all the
v orrying.
It's too late for reflection after you
and the party of the other part have
faced the parson.
A woman bats her hook and men
nibble at it. Finally one gets overbold
and he is landed.
When a man says he wants to have 4
private talk with you 1t means that he
has an ak to grind and he wants you
to turn the grindstone.
The way of woman is beyond the I'M
Outstanding of man. She laughs when
he THINKS she should cry and cries when
he thinks she should laugh.
A scientist says that people who have
heart disease shoulin't marry We
were under the impression that only
those with heart trouble should marry
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-08-11
THE CONTROVERSY IN SPAIN

Almost Immediately after the recent
general election in Spain. which had
greatly strengthened the position of the
new prime minister, Senior Jose Cana
lejas, it was announced that a "policy
of religious liberty would be prosecut-
ed with vigor, explains Current Liter
ature for August. Precisely what this
meant did not become apparent out
side the Spanish peninsula until tEe
controversy over so-called religious
emblems had led to animated CORES
pondence between the ministry of in
struction in Madrid on the one hand
and the papal nuncio on the other. The
representative of his holiness in Spain
was apprized that "the communicates
of non-Catholic cults have the right to
place the emblems OF their faith on
the edifices where they assembled for
Worship This matter. while super
ficially trif1ing. is really important, the
Paris Temps says. owing to what it
implies with regard to interpretations
of other provisions of the Spanish con-
stitution. That instrument prohibits
public manifestations of non-Catholic
faiths. Prime Minister Canajelas pro-
fesses now to be interpreting it ra-
understands demonstrations in the
streets" which at the moment are per-
mitted only to the Roman Catholic re-
ligion. GAS in all countries" to quote
an authorized statement by the prime
minister, there should be in Spain
protestant churches and even syna-
gogues which ought to be able to bear
upon their walls the insignia denoting
the character of their creed. And
against this. clericalism, in the full
flush of the twentieth century, OBJ
jects." But Prime Minister Canajelas,
according to the Paris Temps, is mex
act. What the vatican objects to is not
the display of emblems but the Ian
guage of the edict authorizing them,
which, by implication, denies that the
national church of Spain is holy, ROM
an, Catholic and Apostolic.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-08-11
VITAL STATISTICS.

IAN efficient vital statistics law is
necessary before We can prove that
Kansas has the lowest death rate
among the states"
This is a brief but pointed statement
made in the July bulletin just issued
by the Kansas state board of health.
1t sets forth terseiy but emphatically
ore of the many good and sufficient
reasons why the Kansas legislature
should lose no further time in placing
such a law on the statute books of this,
one of the most progressive states of
she Union.
What an asset it would be to Kan
sas if she could advertise to the world
that her death rate is the lowest pro
rata to population of any of the many
| states of the Union. There is reason
to believe that this is the case. But
there is no way of proving it. And
simply because the s-ate lacks a law
which would compel each OF its COM
! muEities to keep a correct and COM
plete record of it's vital statistics.
There are other reasons aplenty why
such a law should be enacted. Records
| Of births and deaths are often OF the
utms't importance during after years
in the just settlement of estates. Rec
ords of marriages are just as import
ant. Nor can anything be more i'm
| portant to any community or state
than the prompt reporting by physi-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-08-11
QUAKER INDICATIONS.

[From the Philadelphia Record
The bill collector is also a settle
nent worker.
The waters clothes are naturally
made to order.
Time is money, which prompts the
lazy man to be exceedingly generous.
Can man throw his whole sole int,
his work without putting his foot in it,
Would you say that the bartender
in a fashionable club mixes in the hest
society?
Even when a fellow finds himself ,n
hot water 1t is possible for him to get
cold feet. 90
The fellow who owns an automobile
doesn't care to celebrate by having =
blow out.
Wigwag-"Does literature afford o,,ic,r
returns:" Scribhler-.Not unless uo,,
enclose steamps." Sou
The way of tie transgressor is hard ;.
quoted tie Wise Guy. .Oh. I DOM
Know, replied tho Simple Mug aIt
isn't hard to get to Reno.n
Siilicus-"The Bible saws in ba,ven
there is no marrying or giving in mar
rage 1 wonder why?" Cyuicus-.vVe11.
It simply proves that fools rush In
where angels fear to tread" -
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-08-11
GAIT. MARTIN,s CASE.

Once in a while prosecutions under
the law smack something of being
prosecutions. In this category would
appear to be the proceeding against
Captain Guy r. Martin of Clay Cen
ter, commandant of Company A, First
regiment, K. N. G. Captain Martin
was in command of the citizen soldiers
who rendered such excellent service
at the aviation meet held here in To-
peka. He is being prosecuted by the
county attorney of Shawnee county
under directions of the state attorney
general on the technical charge of
having given liquor to a minor, 19-
year-old soldier boy.
Without attempting to discuss the
real merits of the case, which is yet
to be tried out in court, it appears
that during the intensely disagree
able weather which prevailed during
aviation week, when the soldiers who
were on duty at the field, were
drenched to the skin with cold rains
that were almost incessant, some one
treated them to whisky. Captain
Martin is accused of having distrib-
uted it among them. He says he did
not. That the whisky was presented
to him and the rest of the soldiers
who wanted it, and that he had moth
ing to do with it's purchase or with
its distribution. But all this will come
out at the trial.
Anyhow, in view of the fact that
this whisky did not cause any kind of
disturbance among those who got it.
that it did not interfere in any way
with the discharge of their duties,
which was exceptional under the cir
cumstances under which they Ia
bored, the whole thing seems to be
picayunish. The charge against Cap
tain Martin is trivial at the most and
never should have been pressed.
1t is such grandstand and injudi-
cious moves as this on the part of
men charged with the enforcement of
the prohibitory law that bring 1t into
disrepute with many persons who be-
lieve in it's efficacy. An effort is be-
ing made to make some kind of scape-
goat out of Captain Martin for the con-
sumption of little whisky by some
soldiers who may have been in need of
a vigorous stimulant. But bootleggers
and others who make a rich picking
in violating the prohibitory law in
| Topeka and other portions of Kansas
go merrily on their way without mo-
lestation from the majestic law en-
forcers. Any end of justice that can
be conserved by the punishment of
Captain Martin, a soldier of distinc-
ton and a man of excellent reputa-
ton, should he be proven guilty of
the charge preferred against him. will
be difficult for most people to figure
| ont