Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1910-07-27


in firm and loud voice, on the
four corners. and if the printer
ventures to express the view that
the preacher ought to be chasing a
curry-comb over a mich cow in
stead of filling large room with
thin ozone and misinformation, he
will lose subscribers so fast that he
won't have the circulation of a cold
storage egg. The farmer doesn't
have to impress chaste kiss on the
moist nose of his foreman in order
to keep him from getting drunk on
press day, neither does he have to
get somebody to go his note when
the devil" carelessly feeds a pair
of pipe togns through the cylinder
press or the rats cnew the lining
off new set of rollers. There is no
law which compels him to fill four
columns of space with clogged
think-tank and a stickful of BRAIN
food.
IF the editor takes two days off
fishing in succession, his patrons
cal him loafer and take their job
work to the other Office. If he
works until he is bowed over like a
fat man with cramps people say he
is too stingy to hire extra help. If
he contributes $500 to the w. c..
L. U. and wears a boiled shirt on
Sunday, the banks call in his notes
with a noise like a wooden legged
man falling on a tin roof, and if he
refuses to dig up for the Woman's
Relief Corps supper he is branded
as miser and avoided as if he had
the hives. The farmer can look
every man in the face and tell him
to go where there is no premium on
coal slack, and if the printer in
forms man who tries to beat him
out of four years subscription that
he is so crooked that he couldn't
go to sleep in a roundhouse he is
liable to be reduced to the consisten-
cy of corn starch pudding. "In
view of these facts, why is the pro-
fession over-crowded? There are
several reasons. One is that man
is vain bird and is never happier
than when he is yapping in lino>
type slugs.
Many man would rather dis
pense fourteen columns of crooked
rhetoric and reformed spelling once
week and live on ossified liver and
iced tea than shave the warts off a
calf's head and hold a pail for a
sucking calf, even though he can fill
up on green corn and side pork un-
til he wheezes like an accordion with
the asthma. There are others, in
Guiding fair sprinkling of jack-leg
lawyers and ham-strung school
teachers, who have imbibed the no.
ton that the editors life is softer
than the head of a two ply sport
These rush in with $50 outfit and
a wind pressure that would blister
the lining out of a steel range and
| fill long felt want with the grace
and abandon of hare-lipped hired
| girl beauty at beauty show. Moth
ing ever drives these startlings out
of the profession except sudden
death or the sheriff. Then there
are those misguided, ambitious
politicians who believe that the sur
est way to clasp a fat office to your
bosom is to become the editor of a
newspaper. These usually fade
away like a goat on a string bean
diet, carrying through life a look Of
hopeless sorrow and remorse that
| "ouiu WIllS TEARS lTOul pOTce-
lain egg
IF the newspaper men knew the
joys and independence of the farm
er's life, he would kick himself up
to the peak until he looked like a
rat tailed file for continuing to
make himself the door mat of the
stiff necked and ungodly community.
Gentle communion with the kline is
far better than an animated con-
verse with an irate subscriber with
fists like premium ham and the
disposition of hyena.
Let us reform, brethren, and get
close to natures heart with a three
tired pitchfork and a self feeding
manure spreader. We will live
longer as the married man said, and
If the worst comes to worst, we can
live on rutabagas and rock salt,
which, we have no doubt, is an inn
provement over our customary diet,
Then Back to the Soil will be the
password and Sob Boss the grand
| Mailing sign of distress"