davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28
SOME SLIPS OF sCHo0LBoYS
"l4owlers" Which Invariably Raise q
Hearty Laugh and Contain
Some Unconscious Humor.

The schoolboy "howler" is always
popular. The following selections
from a large number which were sent
In for a prize competition arranged
by the university Correspondent"
are excellent examples Of the mis-
takes which pupils perpetrate:
Women's suffrage is the state OF
suffering to which they were born.
The earth is an obsolete spheroid.
Lord Raleigh was the first man to
see the Invisible Armada.
Shakespeare founded "As You Like
It" on a book previously written by
Sir oliver Lodge.
Tennyson wrote I'm Memorandum
King Edward ". had no claim by
geological right to the English throne.
George Eliot left a wife and chill
dren to mourn his genii.
The capital of Russia is St. Peters
burg on the Duma.
The test act of 1878 was passed to
keep Roman Catholics out OF public
houses.
Henry I. died Of eating palfreys.
Louis XVI. was gelatined during the
French revolution.
The Rhine is boarded by wooden
mountains.
Gender shows whether man is
masculine, feminine or neuter.
James l. died from argue.
An angle is a triangle with only two
sides.
Geometry teaches us how to bisex
angels.
Parallel lines are the same distance
all the way, and do not meet unless
you bend them.
The whale is an amphibious ami
nal because 1t lives on land and dies
In the water.
A parallelogram is figure made
of four parallel straight lines.
Horsepower is the distance one
horse can carry pound OF water In
an hour.
The magnesium salt in the sea Gre
ates the. efferVescence when the tide
comes in.
II the air contains more than 100
per cent. Of carbolic acid 1t Is very In
furious to health.
Gravitation is that which II there
were none we should all ny away.
Martin Harvey invented the circu
lation of the blood.
A deacon is the lowest kind Of
Christian.
The isles Of Greece we're always
quarreling as to which was the birth
place of Homer; Chaos has the most
right to claim him.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

There Is one sure way Of preventing
large weeds from growing In the gar
den-kill all the small ones.
White onions are very much better
keepers than the yellow variety. al
though the latter grow larger.
The best garden-seed are not al
ways found in the packages on which
are found the prettiest pictures.
Keep the cultivator and the hoe 60
ing in the sweet corn patch. Not a
weed should be allowed to grow in It.
While 1t costs from IS to 81 to
grow an acre Of corn, It costs less
than four dollars to grow and save an
acre Of hay
It is best to SOW grass seed with q
drill on light sandy or sandy loan
soils, as it is less likely to dry out In
dry seasons.
Arsenate Of lead will not destroy the
black squash.bug and other sucking
insects. They must be picked on BY
hand and sQuashed.
The extensive root systems Of grass
crops, especially clovers, open up the
subsoil, increase the supply Of humua
and are of great value to the soil.
Coal-ashes contain no fertilizing
value and our experience is that they
only serve to pack the soil instead Of
making it friable. Wood ashes are diff
,rent.
The average wheat yield Of Amer
lea is only about IA bushel to the acre
while in England the land that has
been farmed for hundreds Of years
averages about 80 bushels.
In the mild climates, lettuce may be
set out In the fall in beds protected
by glass or cloth and this delicious
vegetable may be had through most
OF the winter months.
II other remedies fail, spray the Gu
cumber-vines with arsenate Of lead
1t destroys the yellow-striped beetle
which is the most dangerous enemy Of
the cucumber, and requires the mos
Vigilant watching.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28
Care of cucumbers.

Cucumbers for picking may be
planted as late as the\middle Of July.
Bordeaux mixture three ounces to a
gallon of water is an effective remedy
for the yellow-striped beetle which
attacks cucumbers, melons and squash
es in the early summer, and Is also the
preventive for blight
II you have only a few vines the
bugs may be brushed into shallow
pan and at once transferred to a pail
Of water containing q tablespoonful
of kerosene. which finishes them. This
can only be done very early In the
morning or after shutdown. They are
very active during sunshine, but semi
dormant in the early hours Of the day.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28
USEFUL BOX FOR FIsHHooKs
So Simple In Construction That Any
One Can Put One Together
Keep Lines In Condition.

Every fisherman knows how annoy
ing 1t is to find the gut lines Of his
fishhooks dried into all sorts Of an.
giles, as happens when they are wrap.
ped wet around a piece Of card or
board. To prevent this New Jersey
man has invented case for the hooks
which not only keeps the CUTS moist,
but keeps each hook separate, and the
desired one may quickly be selected
without having to untangle 1t from the
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

the bearing down. / recommended IL
TO some friends and two Of them have
been greatly benefited by it."-MrH
MAE MCKNIGHT, Oronogo, Mo.
Another Grateful Woman
st. Louis, Mo- was bothered
terribly with o female weakness and
had backache, bearing down pains and
pains in lower parts. / began taking
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound regularly and used the Sanative
Wash and now have no more troubles
that way."-Mrs. Al. HERzoG, 6729
Prescott Ave-, st. Louis, Mo.
Because your case Is difficult one.
doctors having done You no good,
do not continue to suffer without
giving Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
compound o trial. 1t surely has cured
many cases Of female ills, such as in
flammation, liberation, displacements,
fibroid tumors, irregularities, periodic
pains, backache, that bearing down
feeling, indigestion, dizziness, and ner-
vous prostration. It costs but . tritie
to try it, and the result is worth mil
lions to many suffering women.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28
Ka.n IIn earden Notes.

Do not neglect to keep up with your
notes on the garden. The housewife
should have the record book In the
pantry and note when the nrst vege-
tables are used. This & the only cor
rsct way to test varieties and become
familiar with the qualities Of each.
Il requires little time % 40 this pei q
Sisas Jon much valuable lnioEuat
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28
To Get Rid Of Ants.

To rid your garden of ants effectu-
ally, you must first find the location of
the nests. They can then be easily
destroyed by benzoin. gasoline, bisul-
phide of carbon or boiling water.
The large ants which sometimes
make their nests above the surface of
the grass on the lawn should be de-
stroyed by bisulphide of carbon. Punch
a number of holes in the nests and
pour a teaspoonful of carbon down
each hole. Throw a dark blanket over
the holes for a few moments, then re-
move It and explode the carbon by
means OF light at the end Of a pole
The slight explosions drive the fumes
down through the underground tun'
nels and destroy the ants.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28
HIS GAME.

There's q wonderful. funny game play
And you may II you wish;
I'm the One and Only Original
Great Monster Bathtub Fish,
Nurse says It really seems
As II that bath held oceans and floods
And waterfalls. seas and streams.
/ splash and roar and snort and kick
And howl and spout and buck.
Till nurse thinks II she's left alive
She has the greatest luck.
Just try a bit OF the game yourself
The things you need are few:
A waterproof nurse, great big bath.
Strong lungs and q muscle or two.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28
valua Of Drainage.

Drainage prevents loss Of crops and
labor from stagnant water; permits air
to circulate more freely through the
soil, carrying with it fertiliEing prop
critics, making a warmer soil that can
be cultivated early, for dry soil works
easier than wet, roots go down deeper
in It and get a greater supply Of plant
food and more moisture in q, dry sea
SON. Drainage also prevents baking and
cracking.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28
y. Wa. wilma.

A very small boy, to whom cake
was an unknown quantity. was per-
mitted to have as a special favor =
crumb Of HIS greataunt's famous old.
fashioned fruit cake.
He swallowed the crumb with relish
and asked for more.
His mother gave him q very small
pieces. There, dear" she said, kind
II. Il won't give you very much Of
r."
-Oh. don't mind how much yon
givs me, mother dear" he angWsro5
promptly. Z IKE r.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28
CROWNS cultivated Crops.

Cultivated crops include corn, pota.
toes, mangles and all root crops that
are planted in rows and cultivated
during growth. Such crops have been
REGARDED as beneficial to soil fertility,
but investigation at the experiment
stations shows that continuous growth
Of cultivated crops depletes the soil
more rapidly than does the growing Of
Grain continuously.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28
Each Hook Kept Separate.

rest. This. hook box is 30 simple in
construction that any angler may
make one for himself. Take an or.
binary tin tobacco box, preferably a
fat one, and divide It into three com.
partments by inserting two wooden
strips with slots along the top. In
the center compartment, which should
be as wide as the other two com.
blned. place some material which viii
hold moisture for 4 long time and
have a strip Of the same material
fastened to the I'D. The hooks should
then Be laid away with the CUTS
stretched out on the molstening pad
and the metal extending Into the side
sompartmonts
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28
Law In seed.

Lay in a supply Of seed early for
sowing after such crops as rye and
cOwpeas in the corn at the last cult
walton. Rye is especially good on corn
land inollned to wash. 90 the plants aid
greatly IN holding the soil These
CROPS win Improve the nature Of The
son nnd Vin AFFORD some good po1euEo
after the corn & harvested.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

The New York public schools are to
hxperiment with folk-dancing in the
streets by the children to the. music
az q hurdy-gurdy. The monkey
onght certainly to be omitted as mas
Tar Of ceremonies at the inauguration
~ this addition to the fad curriculum.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

Il Is Just 81 years since the hrst
steamship crossed the Atlantic ocean.
Il departed from Savannah, which
winks and mods now while New York
takes the money and the glory. The
AIR Of Savannah is heavy with Ian
Guoros perfume. The air Of New York
a often heavy with perfume TOO,
which Is not languorous, but Of q sort
20 keep people awake.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

II a man is willing to mortgage his
house and lot to buy an automobile
he shouldn't kick II he has to mort
gage his furniture in order to pay his
Sepair bills.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

The expert swimmers are beginning
10 get themselves drowned. One good
thing about the young man who can't
swim is that he never shows on by
getting SO far from the shore that
there Is no chance for him to return.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

One consoling thought during the
hot weather is that we are all free and
untrammeled American citizens ana
We will have bunch Of men coming
around telling US about It until some
time In November.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

New York suspended business while
q hoy sailed dirigible balloon
over City Hall park. Elsewhere
fhroughout the country the dirigible
q only . country fair sideshow nova
Aayn.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

A college student is leading health
ful and athletic life on one dollar a
week, and the society women OF Long
island who are fasting for the sake OF
health and beauty are gaining rosy
cheeks and general benefit.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

LILO uOOI WAghO w
my heart futtering
and / could not even
Q letter:
Every month I had
such a bearing down
sensation, as If the
lower parts would
fall out. Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegeta.
BILE Compound has
done my nerves 9
great deal Of good
and has alsoreheved
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

Some real good use for the flashing
alsctric sign hes been discovered at
i.ot IN New York A squad Of police
uan rescued ten persons from death
a 4 burning tenement By using the
h,.lb sockets Is ladder. otherWiss
49, conitlneeB are chiefly bens'
~ % - Oculisis and oDtleians.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

In learning how to manage a flying
machine the principal drawback Is
that you can't rest the machine on
anything solid while you are doing It.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

In addition to the bot water geysers
in Yellowstone park an ice cold gey'
ser has been discovered. The yell
lowstone has nearly all the modern
improvements.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28
expense,

Do we sufficiently appreciate those
aviators who are falling from Perilous
heights that the rest of US may learn
70 fly?
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

Smuggling is one OF those amuse-
ments which ought to be left 10
the ridiculously rich who do not MIND
expense.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

Thus far, we believe. the life insu'
rance companies are inclined to re-
gard aviation as one Of the more or
less hazardous occupations.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28
Is Is IS
Honest Way Of Figuring.

mo, no." replied the man Of the
sinewy arms, II only make It 30
cents"
How did the blacksmith work this
out? See the illustration for the 80
luton.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

Can the steeple jack who stole 664
pounds Of copper from a church
steeple be convicted Of highway rob-
berry?
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

Tho little brown hen outranks the
eagle bird in every essential and de-
sirable respect.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

Paying fines to the government as
a penalty for smuggling seems poor
way to wind up q pleasure trip abroad.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

The best way not to get typhoid is
20 prevent It.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28
First. Floor.

OF the main hall and telephone
booth is also provided in the hall, I'M
der the stairway, which is open with
newell posts and railing.
Access to the basement is made by
way of stairway leading down from
the kitchen.
Upstairs are four large bedrooms,
bath and sewing rooms, with ample
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

The only safe bet on the weather
seems to be that the worst Is yet to
come.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

About the easiei't thing for mar
ried woman to do Is to make her nus
band believe that he knows best.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

'T hate n nice new frock;
I'd rather not he clean:
want to play some more;
I think it's awful mean
"To have to be dressed up:
I'll cry out both my eyes;
want to go outdoors
And make some more mud pieD!"
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

Wellesley girls have been advised
to have reasonable intervals between
pickles and fudge.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

Aeroplane races across the contf
nent will rival in spectacularity the
2:4O trot at the county fair.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

and inquired the cost of welding them
into one chain.
The blacksmith remarked: II charge
FIVE cents to cut link and five cents
to weld link"
Then, as you will have to make
four cuts and four Yields the charge
will be 40 cent?" said the farmer.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

As between mountaineering the
scorching automobllists and the pub
lie let us not hesitate.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

That fellow who turned burglar be-
cause a girl Tilted him doubtless was
looking for an excuse.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

There's no age limit on circus boys
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

Have you Joined the ny crusader It
doesn't cost anything.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

Who can blame the June brides for
being indignant when tlippant scribeS
refer to them as q crop"
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

We denounce race suicide and still
permit the homicidal Joy rider to roam
at large seeking fresh victims.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

We are now supposed to each have
H34.59. Why fool with the odd figuref
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

Any automobilistA who have de-
clared war on the human race Will
have to be treated accordingly.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28
BLACKSMITH WAS HONEST ONE
Would Not Take Advantage Of Farmer
VIVA had Figured Inaeeurately
How He Did Il.

A farmer took FIVE pieces Of chain
Of three links each to q blacksmith
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28
PLANS FOR COUNTRY HOUSE
Outline Of Residence Well Laid on
for Convenience and Economy
Of Space and NeatnesS.
tRx ]. c. sHAWYER.l

(By ]. C. SHAwvER.)
This beautiful residence is equally
adaptable to country or city. It Ia
largo and well laid of for convenience
and economy Of space inside and neat
and attractive outside.
There are 10 rooms: The reception
room Is 12x16 feet. the dining-room
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

Did you hear a noise like a tiy'
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28
MORE
PDKHAM
CURES
Added to the Long List due
to This Famous Remedy.

Oronogo, MOI Vas simply ner.
Vous wreck. ] could not walk across
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28

l6x16 feet is connected with the par
Tor by a grille. The kitchen is 12x12
with a pantry Sx12 feet. The bed
room downstairs is 10x16 feet with q
closet under the stairs. The parlor is
l6x16 feet. All of these rooms open
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28
Second Story.

closets provided for all. There is also
a linen closet in the hall.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1910-07-28
Pieces to be Welded.

GO 60 90 90 90
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1910-02-06
A FARMER FOR SHERIFF.
Presents True Type Of the Westerner
and viii Make Warm Race.

a new feature enters into the race
fol sheriff this morning. 5. w. Terry.
one of the best known farmers in the
county who lives on the farm nea.
Glenn. has entered the race. For eliv
On years he has been reader OF the
Ardmoreite and has kept in close
touch with public events. While Mr..
Terry never offered himself before az
q candidate for any office. he is no,
without experience. His father for ten
years was the sheriff OF San Saba
county in the great old state of Texas
ami Mr.. Terry was In manner reared
in the office. There Is no part Of it
that he Is not able TO take hold OF
and do in a way that will meet the
pleasure of the people and the dis
! pleasure Of the law violator. He comes
direct from the farm, where for nine
years he has titled the soil in Carter
county and has lived close to nature.
and expects the same conduct from
others and in case of election he will
use the utmost diligence In enforcing
every law on the statute books of the
state. He is a man forty-eight years
old, he has strength and health and
is perfect type of the western man,
hood in physique and his personal ap.
pcarancc will be to his advantage in
the race. He looks the part OF the
born peace officer and while his duties
on the farm will prevent him from
making systematic close campaign
OF the county, yet he and his friends
will place his claims before every
voter. His neighbors who know him
best are most eager for his success
and they will work assiduously for
his nomination.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1910-02-06
FOR COUNTY TREASURER.
Major D. N. Rumph Announces for
Re-election-Campaign Speaker.

The Ardmorcitc takes pleasure this
morning in calling the attention of
the people To the announcement of
Major -. VI. Rumph. who asks for
the democratic nomination for coun-
ty treasurer lie was elected 10 this
office in the first campaign and
has filled il to the entire satisfac.
ton of the people. He has been
devoted 10 the duties of his office
and has saved the county many dol.
lars in doing the work himself in.
stead of hiring deputy as he was
allowed To do under the law. No one
was placed In the office of treasurer
until the work was organized and
grew So burdensome that II was
impossible for one man to do II.
Major Rumph is an old soldier
and Is held in the highest regard
by his former comrades. He is now
commander of John H. Morgan Camp
L G. V. Carter county nor his home
people nor his town never called
upon him in any emergency and
found him wanting. He Is an ear.
nest worker for the success of his
party and for his county. and
watches closely and rcjoiccs in
every movement for the good of the
citizenship. lie has been close
student for years and is an orator
Of considerable ability Many a man
has learned 10 fear his prowess in
debate and the people never fail
10 listen with interest when he goes
before them in campaign He is a
valuable citizen and yalrhbl,
democrat and is we'll worthy of any
office he might ask for and the
people of his county can well af
ford 10 trust him in any undertaking
that requires ability, skill or honor
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1910-02-06
TRUE FRIENDLY SPIRIT.
Labor Dimes Together and Will Serve
eanquets NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..

Organized labor in the city has re-
solved to add social features to their
meet'Ggs. Al the regular meeting OF
the trades council last week a lunch
was spread and a general good time
was had. The women were present at
the banquet and in all about $50 peo.
pie enjoyed the feast and listened to
the toasts. Speeches were made by
jeff Carter, w, II. Kenner and others.
This program will be repeated in
March. when there will be big spread
of good things To eat and plenty of
speech making interspersed with a
program OF music and song. The 10.
boring people are pleased with the
first social program OF the council and
feel they will succeed In building up
closer friendship and more unity In
action by having these mass labor
meetings in connection with a spread
OF good things to eat and program OF
interesting numbers.