Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1910-09-21
A QUEER
TOURNAMENT
By ANDREW C.. EWING
Copyright. 1910. by American Press
Association.

Miss AShDy, that you men talk to
each other as you do? Whenever you
and your chum. Mr.. Warren, are to-
gether you say all sorts of mean things
to each other, but ! don't see that
either OF you gets angry
'Oh. we understand each other"
II wonder If Sadie and l could do
that"
NO, you couldn't without quarrel
ing"
Miss Ashby was silent for a moment.
then said. I'm going to try"
IN bet you pound Of candy
against cigar that you quarrel"
"l'll take the bet"
1t was agreed between us that the
two girls should have talking tourna
ment while they played game of ten
mis-. Dick Warren to furnish remarks
for Miss Blanc hard. to be thrown in
occasionally and | TO do the same for
Miss .Ashby. Umpires were appointed,
and we all met by appointment at the
court.
We permitted the girls to play for
awhile without furnishing any re-
marks. during which time they said
what they considered very trying
things to each other. laughing all the
while and congratulating themselves
on their ability to maintain good hui
NOR After the first set had been play
ed Dick and |. each standing by the
girl he was to talk through. began to
put in an occasional word, producing
the following bits of dialogues:
You give me another ball like that"
said Miss Ashby, land I'll swipe you
with my racket
Miss Blanchard only smiled.
Now you're showing your rhinoc-
eros tusk." pursued Miss Ashby.
Miss Warren ceased to smile. In
deed. she looked very sober. The tooth
referred to was blemish to her beau
ty Dick made her retort.
THAT remark was one of your own
You weren't told to say it at all. !
think it real mean OF you
Deuce" cried Miss Ashby at my
suggestion. claiming 10 points more
than she was entitled to.
You know very well its 3040.
What do you want to grab points like
that for?''
"lf you knew" retorted the other.
what a mad looking thing you were
when you said that you'd put your
head to soak"
Miss Blanchard tried to laugh. but
mark which was untrue
II say. Clara" she said when her
opponent failed to take q ball she
served. If you'd stop looking sweet at
Mr.. Martindale you'd play better
game. Everybody knows what you're
up to in that direction"
Dick scored one in putting that re-
mark into Miss Blanchard's mouth
Miss Ashby threw down her racket.
II don't care" she said. ''It doesn't
make any difference whether you were
prompted to say that or not; you had
no right to say it." Her face was fiery
red, and her eyes were swapping.
Miss Blanchard had not got over the
remark about her tusk and seemed to
take a malicious pleasure in saying
what Dick told her to say. sometimes
breaking into short bits of Irritating
laughter.
sadie, if you don't stop that gig
Cling you'll drive me crazy l made
Miss Ashby remark.
''Oh. don't be silly! You're making a
poor show Of yourself You should
have brought handglass."
YOU'D better have brought one
YOURSELF rctorted Miss Ashby. IF
you had you'd have kept your tuslz
hidden"
Miss Blanchard dropped her racket
and strobe off the field.
81 didn't suppose" she said holly
that this was to be tournament OF
insults"
Miss Ashby followed her. walking
erect and with great hauteur. II think
you two men had better finish it." she
said.
"Done!' exclaimed both Dick and /
and, picking up the rackets. we began
to play and to cha6. We both have
physical defects and did not refrain
from delicate mention Of them.
Nov I'm going to take you in the
bald spot on your forehead" from
Dick.
And I'll knock one Of those spin
die pins from under you. Forty -thir
ty."
"Thirty-forty, you mean. Pity your
first baby lessons were in lying"
You know very we'll you've just gu
of Jail for perjury"
Nov I'm going to put ball between
those bow legs Of yours. I could throw
barrel between EN-"
(which eye are you looking at MI
with-the upper or the lower?"
When we had sent these delicat,
compliments for awhile we threw oO
arms around each other and kissed
after the European fashion. on boil
cheeks. This we did to show our su
periority in the matter of good natur,
to the girls, The umpires decided tina
had won the bet, but sentenced M
to pay 1t.
Il have no desire whatever" sal,
Miss Ashby. tossing her head. ito ex
eel at any such game.
Nor have l." Miss Blanchar'
chimed in.
"1'l admit" said by way of apol
ogy, that it's far more pleasant TO
friends to say nice things to each 9th
err"