New-York tribune., 1910-02-06
GRLDIR0N J0LLITY
ZELlAYA SEEKS n JOB.
The "Return from Elba" also
PORTRAYED.

washington, Feb. 5.-The Grdiron Club
gives two dinners each year. and it hap
pened that the one given tonight at the
New Willard was the silver dinner, mark
ing the twenty-ffth anniversary Of tho
foundation of the club. Therefore there
was great gathering Of notables-a Presi-
dent Cabinet officers, ambassadors, turists.
Senators. Representatives and a number
OF newspaper men from many states OF
the Union. All received souvenirs In the
form of a sIy er ash receiver, crossed by the
gridiron.
The fun began almost as soon as the
guests were seated with tangle over the
inauguration of the new president of the
club. Scott G. Bone. editor of "The Wash
ineton Herald" for entering untimely
on the scene came President 1elaya, with
his army, composed of half dozen gener-
ais in Falstaffian uniforms, and one lone
private Zelaya, looking for JOB had
picked out the presidency of the Gridiron
Club as suitable and was elected only by
the threat that Secretary Knox Was ap-
preaching.
Scarcely had peace and quiet been re-
stored when another interruption came
TO the strains of the Marseilialse
the Back from Elba Club entered, clad
III NdpOieOHlC Ito hiNii''c'o ANP
resenting public men who have been
connected by common report with the
movement to return Mr.. Roosevelt to the
White House. The big stick" figured In
this. In defiance of all rules of secret or
ders, and ir the presence OF several hun
dred ''uitlanders," were dragged forth and
duly initiated the two unfortunate neo-
phytes of the Gridiron Club, George Ed
mund Miller correspondent of The De-
troit News and John Callan OLaughiln,
of THE Chicago Tribune They were
made to forswear all the policies OF their
newspapers and pledge themselves to be
on the pier to welcome the only one When
he returns from Africa-all this to the tune
OF when Teddy Comes Sailing homo
Again, Hurrahi''
The insurgents got their grillins, too.
when between courses, an affecting scene
from Uncle Toms Cabin" was rendered
described as Uncle Joes Cabin; or Lie
Among the Insurgents" A representation
of Speaker Cannon was the clever law
yer Marks; another Of Mr.. Dwight, me
Republican whip, was the brutal LeGree
and various prominent insurgents figured
as Uncle Tom and his fellow slaves and
Little Eva" They were roughly treated.
told that they had been deprived of all
patronage, and their appeals to the Speaker
to resign were met by demands for their
return to the Republican caucus. Finally,
put on the block at auction In DUBIOUS
market, Democrats. and Republicans alike
holding off from bidding, the sale was
stopped by orders from the White House
IN the form of an emancipation proclama-
tion, in order to secure party harmony.
If the insurgents were grilled, the trusts
were fairly roasted in another 'skit poT-
traying the Infant Industries'-the lum7
Der, whiskey, beef, coal and tobacco trusts
seeking protection from a number Of ugly
looking customers Identified as THE U-ti-
mate Consumers" This was a verse from
one of the chants of the trust men, 10 tne
air of a popular song:
Oh. the ultimate consumer always has to
Cause he hasn't any other place to 60
He will rise in indignation: he will make an
Cause he hasn't any other place GO
Why are all our guests assembled here to-
night in glad array?
Why do Congressmen keep coming to our city
Why did Roosevelt grab gun and beat it
clear Africay?
Cause he hadn't any other place to CO.
The new order Of things In the State De-
partmeDt was disclosed in skit Illus
trating a meeting of Secretary Knox and
his faithful assistants and bureau chiefs OF
recent creation. There was an Under Sec
retary and a. Secretary of Nearsighted
Affairs" and one of ''Farsighted Affairs
and there was a wonderful exhibition OF
shirt sleeve diplomacy" resulting in the
summary settlement of the Nicaraguan
question and the Chinese Railroad i'm
broglio and other affairs which have en-
gagged the attention of the diplomatic
branch of the government In the last few
months.