Los Angeles herald., 1910-06-14

A New Jersey travelling man was on
the Santa Fe limited the other night,
In the smoking compartment of Pull
man. A number of Kansas drummers
were there, busily figuring on tabs
of paper their expense accounts and
making up their order lists.
The Jersey man was fresh. He also
thought that he was funny. TN glad
don't make Kansas he said, I'm
certainly glad l don't"
The Kansas men looked up at nm
rather suddenly and oddly. The speak
er wasn't talking to anyone directly;
he seemed to be "communin' with ms
own thoughts
AS soon as he noticed the Kansas
men lift up their heads the Jersey man
became voluble This Is hard state,
he declared. II heard story the other
day like this. A number of years ago
pa fellow In Kansas had a farm OF some
$40 acres He found foreign born citi-
zen who wanted to buy the tract. Ihat
land was too poor to work and the
taxes we're away up. The foreigner
agreed to pay the magnificent sum OF
one yearling calf for the 34O SO the
farmer made out his bill and the
foreigner brought his calf, When the
farmer showed his deed he notlceu
that the purchaser couldn't read, so ne
another So
The Kansas drummers grinned, ana
the New Jersey man rode right ON 10
his doom. "Why, | read letteI once
from a fellow in Kansas he CON
tinued, land he said this: IN pay the
taxes. l want to die, and when ale
1t will be with the proud consciousness
tnaI / nave ieIt a nuuo tVi n'y "ii~
and children. They will have TO pay
the taxes on the land, and do all the
worrying while l am turning my toes
up to the daisies, if any daisies ever
grow in this country. The lahd Is 50
poor that it takes two birds to cry
pee-wee The birds are dying for want
of grass to nibble. Nothing can pe
raised on this land. Nothing ever mas
heen raised. One man tried teW days
ago TO raise an umbrella, but failed.
The New Jersey man looked I'M
menselv satisfied with his job. lie
Thought he had trimmed up his Kan
sas companions and that the records
might just as we'll be audited ana
closed. .,z
"I'lI lust take few chips in this
game with you" said the oldest man IN
the group, who had been making kan
sas FOR twenty-five years and who knew
all of these stories on both sides OF the
"Out here in Cowley county. my
friend" he said. as he laid his specs
aside. "a farmer went into his garden
and planted a pumpkin seed when
sprouted before he turned around AS
he left it the vine grew and followed
him. He looked back and saw II
growing after him, and, jumping over
the garden fence, he began to run IL
crew faster and faster and finally
tripned him and tumbled him into a
raVine. The vine caught him, wound
itself about his neck and choked hlil
tn death. Two days aftcrward ms
friends after long searching found nm
i'm the midst of hundreds of pumpklns
dead. with the vines tightly wound
about his neck But that wasn't all;
There was a pumpkin pie in each OF
his coat-tail pockets"
wThat's true" said another man
"and the watermeons get so big ana
grow so fast that they drag the vines
a fter them. Many a time when l was
a hoy here in Kansas we had 10 arm
holes into the melons. We did that be-
cause the heat generated steam III the
water in the melons and we had 10
give vent to it or they'd explode. Ana
1han the holes were bored the burned
things blew off just like steam whis-
tles When dozens of them OF an sizes
aot to going at once il sounded IKE a'l
The boats on the Mississippi river toot-
inc for the boys wnen they came nome
from war. | soon had ears IKE an ar
tn1ervman. 1t affected my hearing SO
that even now I have 10 listen hllsH'S
close to hear thunder. -.,,or
"Nhv. man" continued another
without even giving breathing Sp0'''