The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1910-09-29
His One Mistake
By F. A. mitchell
Copyright. 1910, by American Press
Association.


"Savin' yer prisince. Oh come to gel
squint at the ex-prisidint."
why do you wish to see the ex
president"
/ Because livery one wants to see i'm
to be sure-because he's the greatest
! man on airth."
why is he greatT'
| Isn't he the frind of the workin'
! man, besides countin' among his &C
quaintances the crowned heads Of
Urup?"
A sturdy gentleman in glasses smil
ed. Pat" he said. You are right ir
placing the ex-president's friendship
for the workingman ahead of his &C
quaintance with the crowned heads
Come with me. I'll show you around
the ex-president's place. and perhaps
you may get sight of him."
Pat accepted the invitation. and the
two strolied about the grounds.
"Oi'm wonderin." said Pat. where
he kapes the wild animals he brought
from Africa"
HE didn't bring any wild animals
alive from Africa He brought their
skins. They are to be stuffed for diff
ferent museums. But tell me more
about why you admire him."
well. Dim thinkin'." Pat replied.
scratching his head. ''that-that, as ]
told ye. he's the frind O. the workin'.
man. and Oh loike him becase he don't
moind tellin' thin foryners what he
thinks Of 'em. But he made wan mis-
take in talkin' to the Britishers."
whats that?'
HE tould 'em to get out O. Egypt.
It would a been all roight If he'd
made it Oirland."
The gentleman smiled.
whats the valy o. them Egyptian
nagers anyway? And Oi'm hearin'
their country's nothin' but sand and
hot enough to roast eggs in. savin' the
spalpeens haven't got the eggs. But
Oirland! The beautiful land that it
is. and the foine population Of elligent
men and women. And them havin'
the feet O. England on their necks.
If the ex-prisident had said. 'Aither
govern Oirland roight or git OUT it
'ud "a been loike sayin' git out O. Or
land Gaze an Englishman can't gov.
ern any one but nagers."
You've good head on you. Pat"
said the gentleman. What other
fault have you to find with the ex-
presidents"
"Well. sor. I was lookin' while he
was in the White House for 'em to
take off the duty on tay. Tay's a
foine dhrink. and the only people that
gifts it free are the CLANCY nagers."
But the president doesn't put the
duty on tea: congress does that, and
the president has no power to take it
off. - ~
Pat thought moment. then said:
Thin what's the use o. maxim such
a fuss at electin' 'emY'
"Tell me some more faults Of the
ex-president."
"Well. sorr. Dim thinkin' he wasn't
born in the roight country"
What country should he have been
born in?"
"Oirland. OF niver think Of i'm but
OF see in me moind beautiful pictur'
of i'm at an Oirish fair. brandishin'
a shillalah over his head. jumpin' up
and crackin' his heels together. swear
in he kin whip the biggest man in the
crowd. He's mighty-what d'y' call
it-stren'us-that's the word. stren'-
us.
Another way l loike to pictur' i'm
is stirrin' up all them kings. tellin' the
spalpeens how to govern their people
just loike an American president 'ud do
it. OF can see i'm if he had the power
jumpin' around among 'em, knockin'
off their crowns and givin' the poor
devils they've oppressed chance to
live in their palaces awhile"
The gentleman led the way to the
house on the top of the hill and mo
toned Pat to go in. I'll introduce
you to the ex-president." he said.
But Pat demurred.
ut isn't for the lokes O. me in these
dirthy clothes to go into the house OF
the great man. Besides. l don't neeG
an introduction"
You don't?"
mo; I've been talkin' to i'm"
How did you know me"
by the windy glass over yer OILS and
yer beautiful white teeth seen in the
newspaper pictures"
Good for you. You Irish are clev-
er race"
mot so clever as you Amerykins."
How do you make that out?"
"Well. sorr. when seen y walkin'
about here, the cock o the walk. had
enough pictur's of ye in me moind to
cover the ceilin' of church. 1t was
no credit to me to know ye. But didn't
We call me by me name without liver
havin' seen even a photograph O. me!
Ye called me Pat at onct. Now, OF
wonder. sorr. If ye kin guess me ole
woman's name
Bridget"
"Roight ye are! Ony man as smart
as yees should be elected president for
loife."
Ill l.