Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-04-22

''''-1eS, she is decloeu
'iohoe. Mrs. knockit-Indeed! When
lid she decide?-Milwaukee News.
Little boy, haven't l seen you in
ny BlDie class?" Not unless l walks
II me sleep, lady"-New Orleans Pic
ayune.
Ella-Bella married an octoeeuariau.
Stella don't think that girl ought
o change her religion for a man
Chicago Daily News.
What selection is that the orchestra
mas just tinished?" u don,t know.
sounded TO me like neuralgia express
ed in music. "-Tit-Bits.
Daughter-Did you have to fish
much. mamma, before YOU caught
papa! Mother-Fish, my dear, fish!
was bear hunting-M. A. P.
How much does it cost to get mar
ried?' asked the eager youth. That
depends entirely on how long you live,
replied the sad-loooking man.
How is the water in the bath, lii
sette?" Gold, my lady 1t turned
baby fairly blue" Then don't put
Fido in for an hour or so."-Pittsburs
Post
He-Why are you so sad, darling?
She-I was just thinking. dearest. that
this is the last evening we can be To-
gether till to-morrow.-Chicago Daily
News.
Professor (examining medical stu
ient)-If you were called out to a pa
tent what is the first question you
would ask? Medical Student-Where
ne lives.
Splendid color, isn't it2" asked the
fishmonger, cutting open salmon.
Yes" replied the purchaser, looks
as if it were blushing at the price you
ask for it.
Wiggs-How do You know he's for
eigner? He has no accent? Wages
No, but he knows so many ways in
which this country could be improved.
Philadelphia Record
What did the poet mean when he
called his country the land of the free
and the home of the brave'?" He was
probably referring to bachelors and
married men," said old Mr. Smithers.
sadly.
What do you suppose, Algernon,
the young thing asked, lis the reason
the ocean is salty?" Il am sure | don't
know" drawled Algy, unless it is be-
cause there are so many Goldfish in it.
Success Magazine.
The Manager-Tve got new idea
for a melodrama that ought to make
hit. The Writer-What is it? The
Manager-The idea is to introduce
cyclone into the first act that will Kill
all the actors.-Tit-Bits.
1--WE got to go to Philadelphia said
The hurried traveller, who was fumbIlng
for his pocketbook Well" answered
the New York ticket-seller, ARE you
buying transportation or just telling
your troubles? Washington Star.
Bowers understand that the doc
tors have just had a consultation IN
Murphy. What conclusion did they
come to? Powers They decided that
the patient was not wealthy enough to
stand an observation-disclosures Review.
Ebeneezer-Them shelters makes me
think of them city visitors we had the
week before last. His Wife-How's
that. Eb? Ebeneezer-They come pref
ty near bein' the worst singers and the
biggest eaters l ever see.-Illustrated
Bits.
GIadys-Oh, mamma! Here's note
from that long-haired pianist. He says
it will be impossible for him to play
1T our reception tonight. Mamma
What's the trouble? Gladys-Some
one stole his wig.-Chicago Daily
News
The Kind Lady-You clear off or I'll
set the dog at you. The Tramp-Ah.
'ow deceptive is 'uman natur. Fer two
nights I've slept in yer barn, eaten of
yer poultry an drunk of yer cider, and
now yer treats me as an utter stran-
ger.-The Sketch.
They tell me-" said the innocent
maid. that YOUR marriage was the re.
suit of love at first sight. Is it true?
1T is" answered the round-shouldered
man, sadly. Had l been gifted with
second sight I'd still be in the bachelor
class!"-Chicago Record-Herald.
81 hope you will be interested in
yonder gentleman" said the hostess.
Il have assigned him to take you out
to dinner" 81 shall be" responded the
lady addressed. That gentleman was
formerly my husband, and he's behind
with his alimony. "-LouisVille Cour-
ier-Journal.
Magistrate-Oficer, what is this man
charged with Constable-He's cam
era fiend of the worst kind, yer wor-
ship. Magistrate-But this man
shouldn't have been arrested simply be-
cause he has mania for taking pic
lures. Constable-IC isn't that, yer
Worship: he takes the cameras.-Bos-
ton Globe.
THAT is fat, prosperous-looking en-
yelope. Does our salesman send in a
big bunch of orders?" Not exactly.
That envelope contains a receipt ror
his last check, his expense account for
this week, a request for salary raise,
and a requisition for some more ox-
Dense account blanks. Louisville
Courier ournal.
Jammering the BiIIboards.
It is said that during a strike of the
of Chicago number or the
alter managers made exclusive use of