davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1910-06-24
Time To Fight Shy
OF the Altar.

Oats right says May Jane. an
no man who thinks dat a few sips OF
cold water is a elegant dinner egr a
wife needs come around me. Fur
dermo' I don't want no husband dat's
Ewine 10 hgger out how much ev'v
polk chop / eat costs. an who is
a-wishin' all de time DAT he had mar
rled a wife what was cheaper kent
Dem are true words saws I. .gefo-
you hlatr-es man you take notice OF
Whedcer be carries mis- change loose in
ms pocket or fastened uu tight in a pt1ss.
an Wheller, when he sets YOU up 20 a
chicken dinner. he orders TWO portions.
OF one, an. eats de mos. OF dat
Things sloLy do cook discouragin'
Tor a gal who would lax 10 marry goes
on May Jane. 'Fusr, here comes de
men a-battiu' us ABOUT our clothes. an
a-complalui-' about a v~ise's eNtrava-
gance ev.y time she gifts new frock.
An. now hit seems lax ley's a gwire 90
cut on de food supply, an any woman
Wld good appetite is liable 90 have
lat flung IN her re-h about how much
mo- she eats dan some odder lady what
can make hearty meal on OF a glass
OF hot water
The Washington times., 1910-06-24
TO FRANCES CARROLL.

TO FRANCES CARROLL.
You say we need not fear TO try
Who won before through sense,
SO I'm holding out my painted cup,
Like a monkey for the pence
AIrs) n NJ. BERRY.
I may say that Mrs. Berry forward ed
her solution in a painted cup
FRANCES CARROLL.
The Washington times., 1910-06-24
Soup For the Voice
Used BY Jennie Lind.
Canon Smiths Recipe

From Mrs. Elliott also comes the
following:
The Rev. Sidney Smith. the witty
canon Of st. Paurs, who thought
The Washington times., 1910-06-24

When you recommends a gal 70 a
young man yOuL say dat she's pretty.
an smart, an neat an industrious.
al. lpH eat but one straw a day.
Men shOly Is done lost dair gal
lanlFF et leEs done come TO de place
"AaT ceF begrCdges DER lady loves
enough TO eat spoons ], an when dew
commences 20 make a break FOR de
women Wild fasriu' records. hits time
10 night shy or de altar
The Washington times., 1910-06-24

Has no one a good recipe made famous
by some chef in the diplomatic home Of
Washington?
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-06-02
Bows And The Farm.

An old farmers two sons were anxious
to leave the farm and work out their deS-
tiny in the city. The farmer wanted 10
keep the boys on the farm. SO he sent
them to an agricultural college, one to
learn plant breeding and general agricul-
lure, and the other to take course in an
imal husbandry.
+ The result of this experiment was that
each boy took a great fancy to his spec
ialty and great interest in the knowl-
edge of it. The science of farming IS
very attractive. II lets one into a knowI-
edge of the beautiful laws OF nature, and
gives a charm to all his work. This is
the way to knock out the drudgery oi
farm life and give one broad views.
The agricultural college is today our
greatest public institution. 1t takes much
of the drudgery out OF farm work by put
ting intelligence in it. The farmer is the
real producer, the real benefactor in trade
and commerce, and it is more sensible to
encourage his development than that o
any other class. There is no kindlieT
fortune for a boy than to get him interest
ed in farm experience. He is pretty GER
tain to attain to great worth.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-06-02
shephetown Jefferson County, Virginia Thursday
patiently. Cant you understand, sir -?

patiently. Cant you understand, sir ?
1t is not for sale"
Zone thousand dollars, exclaimed the
old man, "and not cent more, by jing
No, sir, not cent more p
"You had better see DOCTOR" Sug-
gested Chapman. "That bureau isn't
worth cent TO any but me. 1t is old,
dilapidated and hldeous." ;"
Cummings had already started for the
door. 81 see we can't do business" he
called back TO the surprised Chapman.
"Good-by."
The painter started after his eccentric
visitor. Crazy" he calculated. "Mad
as a March hare! Some old lover of Aunt'S
probably and he wanted that-er-thing
as keepsake. Jovel who would have
supposed romance existed in such a
| frame?"
Nevertheless, and despite his firm and
indignant refusal of Cummings offer Chap
man had been tempted. One thousand
dollars meant lot to him.
Annette laughed when he told her.
"Why, boy" she said, softly, "you don't
know yourself as well as know you." "
One slim hand rested on his arm. "Your
visitor couldn't have bought that bureau
for $4,000. know"
A week later Chapman received this
letter:
"Dear Mr.. Chapman:
"In calling upon you recently | did so
acting in the capacity of your late aunt's
legal adviser, and as the administrator OF
her estate. The legacy OF the bureau was
a test If you kept it an allotted time and
refused to dispose Of it for even such a
ridiculously large sum as offered you it
would prove yourlo for her, and the rest
of the estate was to come TO you.
"You have won, and in the face OF
great temptation. Congratulations.
"The property amounts to more than
100000. Call upon me as soon as pos
sible for more explicit information. Very
truly, {. {. CUMMINGS. j..
1T pays" said Annette Legs, who was
present at the opening of the letter, "to
cherish heirloomS.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-06-02
Didn't Lose Her.

A young man was timidly courting a
pretty girl. One afternoon in the garden
he scraped up nerve enough to ask in a
tremulous whisper for kiss.
"A kiss!" she said "You ask me for
kiss ? Now, applied to the hand kiss
signifies respect. On the forehead it de-
notes friendship. UponthelipS it denotes
all things-or nothing" She paused
pensively, then went on: "You may, ii
you wish it, kiss me. You may express
yourself in one kiss. Proceed"
The timid young man, red and confused,
pondered. 81 mustn't lose her!' he NUT
tered to himself. Where, then, shall !
kiss her ?"
His meditations were interrupted by a
pretty whistle. II was his divinity, her
red mouth puckered into the shape OF a
rosebud, her hat pulled down over her
eyes, hiding her forehead entirely and her
hands were thrust up to the wrists in the
pockets Of her Jacket
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-06-02
When Ii All Started.

When Adam met Eve he was bashful and shy
And he stammered and blushed every time she
came nigh,
Till at last he grew bold and began to pay court
you may put all your trust in this faithful report
And he murmured TO her on an evening serene:
You're the prettest girl that ever have seen -
And that's how that started.
When Eve with beautiful blush on her face.
Yielded shyly and sweetly TO Adams embrace
And put up her red lips for the true lovers pact
(You may set all this down as an absolute iact
She incurred while he breathedthe fond names on
his list
Have you said that 10 all of the girls you nave
kissed p
And that's how that started.
When Adam asked Eve If she would be his bride.
She looked no and she looked down. and she
sighed,
And she let him take hold OF her ilywhIte hand
This is history now. as you must understand
Then she said in voice that was dulcety low.
81 must take time TO think Tis so sudden, you
know"
And that's how that started.
When they had been married few years or so,
Then Adam told Eve We're invited TO go
To dinner and dance with some friends down in
Nod"
This is truly authentic, although II sounds odd'
Eve replied with a sad and souowiul air:
81 cant go. Don't you see ! have nothing TO
wear2"
And that's how that started.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-06-02
Doctor Urged To Stop Liquor Evil.

That the liquor question is OF greater
importance than the tuberculosis problem
and that ii should engage the serious
thought of doctors. as well as clergymeH
and .reformerS, was the declaration of DR..
Geo. w. Webster, president of the Hi
nois state board of health, in lecture on
'Alcohol and Good Health, . under the
auspices of the Chicago Medical society
in the public library building.
"The death rate from alcoholis as great
as from tuberculosis, 10000 deaths a
year." he declared. "Ten per cent of all
deaths in the United States are caused,
directly or indirectly, from the use of it.
1t has been estimated that 80 per cent OF
municipal expenditures for police depart
mentS is occasioned from the use of liquor.
Twenty per cent Of our insane owe their
condition to its use, and il costs $l2,0OO,-
600 to maintain asylums and Institutions.
The death rate of alcoholics from pueu-
monia is 80 per cent.
drinking liquor ShortenS human life.
Our great insurance compacies have de-
termined this from the standpoint OF dol
lars and cents. Statistics prove that any
work, mental or physical, can be done
more efficiently, with less mistakes and
less danger to the individual, without al
cohol. In infections diseases we have
proved that the abStainer has the better
chance for recovery. Alcohol destroys
the resisting power OF the body and low
ers the vitality.
physicians should teach the effects OF
its use on working efficiency and in re-
gard to health, and in this way they could
do more than the moral instruction and
arguments of clergymen, temperance
workers and reformerS. We deserve
condemnation as a profession when we
sneer at the clergymen and the reformer
in their efforts to stamp out this evil.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-06-02
Gods Gift, the Grass.

Grass is the forgiveness OF nature-the
constant benediction. Fields trampled
with battle, saturated with blood, torn
with the rutS OF cannon, grow green again
with grass and carnage is forgotten.
Streets abandoned by traffic become grass
grown like rural lanes, and obliterated.
Forests decay, haveStS perish, flowers
vanish, but grass is immortal. Beleaguer-
ed by the seven hosts OF Winter, it with
draws into the impregnable fortress OF its
subtenanean vitality and emergeS upon
the first solicitation of spring, Sown by
the winds, by the wandering birds, prop
agated by the subtle horticulture OF the
elements which are its ministers and SER
wants, softens the nude outline OF the
world. Its tenacious fibreS hold the earth
in its place and prevent its soluble conf
ponentS from was into into the sea. 1t
invadeS the solitude of deserts, climbs the
inaccessible slopes and forbldding PIN
nacleS OF mountains, modifieS climates
and determines the history, character and
destiny OF nations. UnobStructive and
patient, it has immortal vigor and aggres-
sion. BaniShed from the thoroughfare
and the field, it bides its time to return,
and when vigilance is relaxed or the dy-
nasty has perished, ii silently resumes
the throne from which il has been expell-
ed, but which itnever abdicates. 1t bears
no blazonry of bloomto charm the senses
with fragrance or splendor, but its homely
hue is more enchanting than the lily or
the rose. 1t yields no fruit in earth or air,
and yet should the harvest fail for single
year, famine would depopulate the world.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-06-02

The wife of literary man Of the In
diana school, who had taken up chicken
raising as a side issue, was telling OF the
poor success that she had with brood
of II chickens. They seemed to be
doing all right for a few days she said,
and then, one after another, they all died
in the coop.
"What did you feed them p asked the
wife of farmer neighbor.
"Feed them? exclaimed the authors S
help-nate. 81 didn't feed them;
thought healthy young pullet like that
should have milk enough for her chicks. "
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-06-02
GEO. c. STURGISS.

Here is a story that is being enjoyed
around the Wyandotte county courthouse,
says the Kansas City Star.
A county assessor was making a can
vass for personal tax assessments. He
called at the home OF widow in the
second ward, and in polite way said
Madam, am the personal tax assess
or. What have you got2"
"Pve got two children and the rheu-
ma:ism," said the widow, and she slam-
med the door in his face.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-06-02
scared Into Sound Health.

Mr.. BE. Kelley Springfield, III. writes,
"a year ago | began to be- troubled with
my kidneys and bladder, which grew
worse until | became alarmed at my con-
dition. suffered also with dull heavy
headaches and the action OF my bladder
was annoying and painful. ! read OF
Foley Kidney Pills and after taking them
a few weeks the headaches LETT me, the
action OF my bladder was again normal,
and | was free of all distress" Sold by
all druggists.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-06-02

The arithmetic OF the little girl in this
story was faultleSs. She knew that two
times zero equals zero, and she acted on
the knowledge. But mathematics is not
business, and the milliner was probably
justified in declining to accept Mary S
logical conclusion. The incident is taken
from the Dellheator.
81 want hatpin," said little Mary, as
she gazed at the cushion full OF spark
ling ornaments on the milliner'S show
case. GLOW much is it2"
"Oh, nothing" returned the kind
hearted Mrs. Briggs, who remembered
that Mary's mother was one OF her regu-
lar customers.
"I'll take two, them" said Mary.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-06-02

An Irishman visited tuberculosis ex-
hibit. where lungs in both healthy and
diseased conditions were displayed pre-
served in glass jars. After carefully
studying one marked "Cured tuberculosis
lung" he turned to the physician and
said:
"Perhaps it's because Oi'm Irish. but
if We cured tn patient how III divil could
We have his lung in bottle?"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-06-02

He was out with his best girl, and as
they strolIed into the restaurant ne tired
TO put on an o-tflis-eveY-evening
kind of look. When they were seated al
a table waiter approached them.
''WHI monsiur have Ia carte or table
d'hote?" he asked.
"Both," said the young man, ''and put
plenty of gravy on EN-"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-06-02

To the Republican Congressional District Of West Wgtn
You have onored eecng the Second District
Congress- Substantial maior respectively
prestige assigned three committees an unusual honor tor
the leaders the House
an evidence and continued service and
were followed by important committee assignments
knowledge the House
Of Representatives greatly ability Member his district and
the country knowledge that acquired service and experience
e most valuable have served apprentice
shin nearly two terms successfully the
sts the Many Members OF the House have
their influence usefulness almost
proportion Another will the benefit of
my increased experience.
have been industrious discharge duty this high
things done and give assurance that
will relax in no degree your service again elected
continued good will and support TOR denomination
am Yours, Sincerely,
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-06-02
Marvellous Discoveries

mark the wonderful progress OF the age.
Air flights on heavy machines, telegraTnS
without wires. terrible war inventions 10
kill men. and that wonder OF wonders
DIR. Kings New DiscoyeY-to save me
when threatened by coughs, colds, Ia
grippe, asthma, Group, bronchItis, nem-
orrhages. hay fever and whooplng cough
or lung trouble. For all bronchial ailec-
tions # has no equal. II relieves instant
ly. IFS the surest cure. James M. blach
az Asheyille. N. c., r. r. No. 4, writes !
cured him OF an obstinate cough after al
other remedies failed. SOC. and Sl:W
A trial bottle free. Guaranteed by Hlil':
Pharmacy.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-06-02
Kent The Kino At Home.

"For the past year We have kept the
King of all laxatives-Dr. Kings New
Life Pills-in Our home and they have
proved blessing to all our family
writes Paul Mathulka, of Buffalo, Ny.
Easy, but sure remedy for all Stomach,
Liver and Kidney troubles. Only &c at
Hills Pharmacy
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-06-02
What A Summer Cold May Do.

A summer cold if neglected is just as
apt 10 develop into bronchitis or pneu-
monia as at any other season. Do not
neglect If. Take Foley's Honey and Tar
promptly. II loosens the cough, soothes
and heals the inflamed air passages, and
expels the cold from the system" Sold
by all druggists.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-06-02
A Dreadful Wound

from a knife, gun, tin can, rusty nail, fire
works, or OF any other nature, demands
prompt treatment with Bucklen's Arnica
Salye TO prevent blood poison or gangene.
It's the quickest, sureSt healer Tor all such
wounds as Tor Burns, Boils, Sores, Skin
Emptions, Eczema, Chapped Hands,
Corn's or Piles. 25c at HIPS Pharmacy.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-06-02
MILK WANTED!

The Charles Town Creamery Company
is now in full operation and WANTS
MILK. A first-class and experienced
butter-maker has been employed, who
will be found at the plant every day.
Milk received Mondays, Wednesdays
and Fridays of each week. Butter made
tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, un-
til further notice. You bring your milk
and we make the butter and sell ii in the
highest markets and deduct only the cost
OF manufacture. You get, therefore, the
highest cash price for it that can be OBJ
tanned. Try us and be convinced.
Special arrangements made, upon ap-
plicaton, for farmers in Shepherdstown
neighborhood.
Charles Town Creamery Co
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-06-02

"a never deny my wife a wish"
"lndeed ?"
"No; ! LET her wish. II doesn't cost
anything"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-06-02
]. S. FLEMING, Notary Public.
ShepherdstoWn, w. Va.

Will take Acknowledgements of Deeds,
Power OF ATTORNEY Affidavits, DepoSi-
tons, and attend 20 all business connected
with the office.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-06-02

"Patrick H. McCarren," said Brook
lyu lawyer, "knew how to handle mer.
He met straightforward men with
straightforward methods and tricky men
he bested with wilier tricks than Their
own.
"Once he illustrated his policy to me
with a story. He was like, he said, the
rich Peter Higgins.
"When Peter was young and gay two
friends, being hard up, put up game on
him.
peter" they said, you might pay us
that 81 we lent you
When did you lend me S2?' said
Peter haughtily.
Why, night before last, when you
were drunk was the reply.
oh, yes, said Peter, 4 remember
now. But, hang it, paid you backP
Paid us back? When?I
Last night, when you were drunk
Do YOU remember ?"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-06-02
Charles F.Byers,
ShepherdStOwn, w, Va.
FOR SALE OR RENT.

lae undersigned offers for sale or for
.val good Seyen-roOm dwelIing-houSe,
".,l al. needed outbuildingS, garden and
Yen acres OF land, part of which is in bear
my apple orchard Also for rent, a good
s,oEc room near the house, right at rail-
I1al station. The property is in Sheuan-
-yaa county Va. This offers good oppor-
,aA.'y TO secure a nice home and TO en-
gage IN the mercantile business. For
Iye ana further particulars, inquire OF
a., l.. Snyder & Co., Shepherdstown, W.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-06-02
gENSAh1nJ
~ aIl IYRrInre nosn 81 r6rssr.-- 500
TO FAR M Err S
AND THE PUBLIC.

twill be to your interest to see
our !line of goods before buying.
We carry the Studebaker Wagons,
Ba-gicS and Surveys; the Walter
A. Wood line of Binders, Mowers,
RaNcS HarrowS and CultlvatorS,
andrcpairS. The Golden Rule Cul-
iya,orS, both 4 and 6-shovel; the
New Way Corn Planter the Cam
bridge Steel PlowS; the VesuviuS
Uni. PIoW and repairs; and re-
p1,rS ordered for any machines not
S9.J here. Also 10th Century and
Idea. Manure SpreaderS, and re-
pairs Tor Osborne machines and a
complete line of sections for Wood,
DeerIng Osborne and Mccormick
Binders and Mowers.
Please give us a call.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1910-06-02
When Her Faith Failed.

During the progress OF big PRO
tracted meeting" for which the South is
famous, an ardent sister Of the church,
who usually came in an old-fashioned
blackboard drawn by the family horse,
was late for a particularly important SER
vice and was being severely cenSured by
the pastor
Explaining the reason for being late the
good sister said that the horse had taken
fright at passing train and bolted, and
that the wreck of the rig had prevented
her from being on time.
"My dear sister, such little things
should not make you late for divine SER
vices. You should trust in the Lord.
"Well, brother" she replied, and there
was look of calm peacefulness on her
face, "a did trust in the Lord till the
belIyband busted and then had TO jump.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-08-04
LOOKS VERY LIKE A DEADLOCK

Republican leaders ask for the retire ment of Secretary Ballinger from the Cabinet: President Taft will not, 1t IS positively stated. ask him to resign: Rallinger says. There's no resignation on the card''. and adds that s'alh this vicious attack by interruptions men, backed by men with even less scruples. will never induce me to resign"
 It looks very like a deadlock between the Republican party on the one side, and Messrs. Taft and Ballinger upon the other. The party evidently con- siders Ballinger millstone about its neck the President as evidently either entertains the contrary belief or is in retention upon the November elec- tions
 President Taft doubtless bases his position upon a belief that Ballinger has not violated any law. which may be true. but many wrong has been done under cover of the law. The demand for Ballinger's retirement is tased upon charges made by Pinchot, Glavfs and others that Ballinger has aided the grabbing of coal and mineral lands in Alaska by the Guggenheim- Morgan syndicate. and that he is hos tile to the Roosevelt conservation pol icy.
 President Taft blunders in judging the Ballinger case by the strict letter of the law; it should be judged upon broader grounds. for the law some times lacks full comprehensiveness, and its deficiencies are taken advant- age of by men skilled in it's intri- caeies.
 The President cannot afford to up hold Ba1linger upon the legal principle once advanced by local lawyer, Evasion of the law is equivalent to compliance with it."