The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1910-03-04
Learning TO
Make Love

Chicago, as somebody has been threat.
ening to do?"
why dreadful?" ] inquired. mildly,
flicking the curb with my cane
Kitty flashed me scornful glance.
"Just fancy a man laying his heart
at your feet according to a scientific
method" she exclaimed, and timing
his tender speeches with a stop watch
and kissing you according to the by.
gienic rules and"
Counting his heart beats or feel
ing his pulse or appraising the tint OF
your blush while he tells you he loves
you" broke in sympathetlcally.
YES" agreed Kitty. and quoting
his proposal from a copy book and his
love notes from The Lovers Latest
Letter Writer"
"Oh, we'll" | said consolingly, 81
don't think you need bother about it."
WHY" asked Kitty, lifting her
lashes innocently. Don't you think
anybody ever will propose
81 don't think anybody will take a
course in the college" I corrected
quickly. "Courting is like cooking.
It's a gift OF Providence or fate. as un-
accountable and inexplicable as
straight nose or a good constitution.
and it cannot be cultivated any more
than either OF them. II is one OF the
things in which brains don't take the
prize and theory doesn't count"
What does count?" demanded Kit
ty, promptly.
"Well-practice." ! replied frankly,
and"
And II you're born with the
knack." interrupted Kitty, you can't
help practicing. II suppose"
And il you aren't born with it."
rejoined, you can read Laura Jean
Libbey and G. Bernard Shaw and all
the guides to lovemaking that ever
were printed without learning how TO
begin"
COR where to stop" interpolated
Kitty.
"Or what to say to a woman"
Cor what not to say to a man. It's
its just liking making batter.
cakes!" added Kitty suddenly.
What"
There isn't any reliable recipe for
it," she explained "and you can only
tell whether or not you have done It
properly by the way ii turns out. I've
asked Dinah twenty times how to mix
the batter with her eyes shut. She
says nobody ever taught her; she just
Enowed how and then done it, And
she scorns a cook book as Cleopatra
or Nine. Du Barry would have scorned
a Lexicon OF Love or a treatise on the
art Of managing a man"
And" | hazarded. "I'll wager that,
like love, the oftener she makes them
the better she does it,"
"Of course" assented Kitty. And
she says she began making them when
she was old enough to hold a pan"
I'VE all begin in the kindergarten" I"
] averred.
"Who-'all?'" asked Kitty, discon.
certingly.
"Oh-er, everybody-who has the
knack," ] stammered. I'VE begin by
writing Valentines and hanging May
baskets and playing kissing games
and cutting out initials on the trees
JHSlue d HedTI, ana Hnlbn--
I'VE never finish" broke in Kit
ty, "if We attain any-any success"
What" l exclaimed Don't you
ever expect to stop"
Not" announced Kitty, tranquil
ly, until my grandchildren refuse to
be made love to"
will you please explain"
la. 10
Kitty, and more than you can ex-
plain why all the cleverest men get
the worst bargains in wives and all
the most beautiful women marry
wretchedly; or why a red-headed girl
with a turned-up nose and freckles
and figure like BARRIERS pole can
fascinate every man she meets, while
another woman with Greek profile
and the lines OF the Venus OF Milo
sits alone in the parlor every evening
doing fancy work"
or" | apprehended. why a man
with the head OF an Adonis and the
brains OF an Aristotle is thrown over
by the girl he loves for some little
Tunt with crooked legs and an insinu-
ating manner and the faculty of say
ing sentimental things to woman"
And plenty OF practice in court.
ship" added Kitty
Yet" ! unused, hicking my cane
thoughtfully, the Chicago professor
proposes to teach men and women
how to understand one another"
That's the saddest and funniest
part OF it," replied Kitty. with a lit
tie gurgle.
How can it be sad and funny at
the same time?" ! demanded.
Don't you see," cried Kitty. how
sad it will be for the man and how
funny IT will be for other people,
when he wakes up?"
When he-what?"
"Oh, pshaw!" exclaimed Kitty i'm.
patiently, mo man ever finds out how
little he knows about women until he
marries one OF them. And the most
awful mistake he can make is TO go
headlong into matrimony, believing he
really understands the sex and total.