The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1910-04-06
DAMON AND PYTHIAS.
According and Ye Editor Of the Ander-
son Daily Mail.

|
OF Barnwell, regarding the real history
concerning Damon and Pythias. We
are here reproducing the real "his-
tory" of the story, as told by the edi-
tor Of the Anderson Daily Mail. and
trust that it will prove satisfactory.
Perhaps Mr.. Evison is not acquainted
With Our sood friend, Brother Car
penter; If not, this will prove a most
excellent introduction)
The history" is as follows:
Pythias was q married man in an
cient Syracuse. He went on a whiz
one night and got into an awful
scrape. He smashed show case in
cigar store, and ate steak in the
cafe and wouldn't pay for 1t, and
raised rough house generally, and
finally wound up by trying to go to
bed in the piano at the moving pic
ture show The police got him. of
course, and the next morning the re-
corder, Dionysius, gave him sentence
of thirty days without the alternative
of fine. Now, as they were taking
the prisoners down the street to the
rock pile, Damon, one of Pythias'
neighbors, came along. "Hail," cried
| Pythias. or words to that effect.
Say. you've got to be n friend.
want you to go to my wife, and prove
an alibi for me. Tell her the firm has
sent me to Greenville to look after
some bad debts, or any other lie that
you can think of If it is a better one,
and make her believe it. I'll do as
much for you some day" He would
have talked more, but the guard
punched him in the ribs and told him
to gadap. Now, about three months
before this Damon and Pythas had
both been trying to hire the same
stenographer and Pythias had won
out. So, on this beautiful bright
spring morning Damon didn't do
thing but go to Pythias' house and
told just what had happened He told
cealing single thing. And about
fourteen minutes later he came hot
| footing it into the police station.
minus his hat and with his face torn
and his shirt front all blooded up
and this was the story he told: Run
for your lives, you fellows Pythias'
old wife, Philopena, Is on the warpath.
She is armed with a gun and rasor
ana a hat pin, and she says she is
coming up here and clean out this
1 VIZ A,,l .lN,
well near doing it, too. for you see
what she has done for me-" Now.
the sergeant was n married man him
self He sent an officer post haste to
the chaingang, and had Pythias
brought back to the station house.
They took the stripes off him and
gave him back his clothes and n bro
mo seltzer. which braced him IN
and sent him to his office, and when
Philopena got there they said they
hadn't seen Pythias in a month and
didn't know anything about him.
Philopena went on to her husbands
Office. and when she got there he was
working on the books like all DOS
indeed. He beat her to 1t and lit i'm
and gave her line of talk about how
he had been called out of town sud
denly the afternoon before. and
couldn't get her on the phone, and
had told the boys i'm the office to LET
her know about 1t and they had for
gotten it, and he had just gotten i'm
and had to stop by the office and go
over the books because he couldn't
depend on anybody to keep things
/ straight, and he was going on up to
the house IL little while for he came
from over yonder on the early train
and hadn't had any breakfast, and.
oh dear, do sit down. he said. When
Philopena told him what Damon had
| said he was very much astonished
and then looked sad, and he said he
did not intend to tell her, but that
he had noticed that Damon had been
acting strangely for some time, and.
really he was afraid he had begun
doping, Philopena believed 1t or pre-
tended that she did, which always
amounts to the same thing. She said
she had been so worried, but 1t was
all right now. and 1t was a pity he
had to work so hard and be away
from home SO much for she did miss
him so much when he was away And
then she sighed and said 1t was such
pity about Mr.. Damon. but she
wasn't surprised, considering the kind