Middletown transcript., 1910-03-26


running in" bunch Of eeIs, which,
from the manner in which our informant
separated his hands by way Of measure
ment. must have been Rbout five feet
long. Skin 'em a. If you loved 'em Chief.
That il costs more for merchant to
brush cob webs off his goods than it does
to advertise.
The Sewing Crcle-S society composed
Of some two OF three dozen OF our finest
young ladies, and devoted to fun, investi.
cations, of psychic and occult phenomena
generally-heId very successful seance
on Monday evening Of this week. Their
Ouija board is 3 square shaped little tri.
pod upon which 10 supposed to sit the
invisible divining Pythoness "Ouija"
who, at prompsings from the eager finger
tips OF the members, responds in some
sort of q mental telepathic way to their
queries. II some of her answers are bit
snigmaGical we must remember that her
Greek prototype rsVing from her bronze
stool amid the fumes Of Delphi was also
trifle ambiguous at times. However, the
responses at this inject" OF the spooks
and the curious yonnG ladies we're many
and spicy.
Through our Society reporters success.
ful keyhole interview We are able to give
q few Of them.
To Miss c.: Yes, he likes blends, but not
OF the peroxide brand. Have your Too
badI Then cut il off at once and wear
wig till it grows out again. Hope he
won't find il out. II he does, get your
doctor to swear you we're threatened with
incipient aIOpeCia," and did it too save
your lovely locks, ETC.
To Miss A.: No, he is not engaged in
anything ct present but wearing his little
cap on his of ear, and saunsering down
town with big cherOot in his mouth.
To Miss ": Did his breath smell iunny2
Perhaps he'd been using oil of cloves for
the toOthsche. Don't judge him too
harshly.
To Miss F.: Did be like she taste Of
those ruby Iips7 Well, just try him once
more.and see, you sweet doubling little
pusp.
To Miss s.: Yes, be has q bad case OF
dyspepsia already, and fears masrimon'
iaI cuisine might finish him. "Ouija" ad.
vises you to spend six months or year
lin cooking school, and then for Wind
/, up, lay yourself out in Q big dinner, in
visiug Pc and ma, aud dear old grandma
and the rest-and Of course, Tom. Per.
haps this may give him q jolt in your
direction.
II To Miss g.: No, be does not wear liver
pad and does not snore-at least not
enough to disturb bis old grandad, who ia
O. trifs deaf. But he has ''cold feet"
sometimes, though believe, be never
, gets them in affairs of the heart.
Fred's got 9 bran new Lille Tube, "
! they say. For quite Q spell Fred has
| been q student of ell sorts Of things cur
j ious and scientific. Lately, though, be
{ has been going in for "Ozone." In an
insuspecting moment he read seductive
"Ad." that with lurid rhetoric set forth
the countless blessings flowing from the
use of the Wonderful Life Tube" shat
!. invigoratss the whole system physically
3 intellectually, morally, financially, etc
. He was 90 Tavished ct the prospect thai
! he ordered one forthwith with foil diEec
! lions "How to get strong; double youl
brain power; get b foil head OF hair,
j, etc.
d Now, Fred's husky youth with fol
!, supply Of hair, but, like the rest Of Us, h'
r thought itwouId be fine thing to double
2 bis quantum OF gray matter.
We never cav the gimcraCk, but 1t hat
r been described to us as somewhere be
4 tween four inches and fourteen feet long
r Directions say ION retiring poke one enc
a of the Life Tube in your mouth and ruE
d the other out the window and up toward
o the roof where the latest and best thinl
i. ia Ozone IL on perpetual tap. Fred say
Il works fne-likes it better than an
liver pad be ever Wore-ean just feel th'
Ozone trickling down bis throat and run
ming out ct his toes-he thinks. Has los
:, that tired feeling that comes over us al
:" at this time Of the year. Believes hi
! corns are better, etc. BEST thing eve
!. ssruCk-going TO WFite for the agency
Well, success TO you, Fred.
n P,S, Since penning the above We re
D. eret 20 learn that FTed's Lille Tube
a. SomeboW got out Of whack-she ozon
rot choksd 10 the Tube or sOmethinG
= AnyhoW, his tired feelin's are back agai
le and his cOFns ache same 90 ever. de ha
liz thrown up che agsncy and sent "the 81
% fired thing"-that's the way he talh
= about il nov 'back whore e cam
d, FROM" WIFE,