Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-04-03
By George Jean Nathan

ing was the most involved of
sciences, because new theorems added to it daily
demonstrated that nothing proved anything
and that everything proved nothing. The sci
ence of wooing has always been the queerest
study of mankind, and courtship has always
been the most interesting subject of considera-
ton in the curriculum of life. "Wooers, said
Verlaine are as diverse in their ways as the
four winds of Heaven-and as efcacious.
That wooing is not less peculiar in its phases
to-day than it has been in the more romantic
past is made evident by instances revealed con-
stantly in the daily press If we may believe
the cases constantly coming to light, we may be
certain indeed that curious ways of counting
anything but lost art IN the United States.
Whistline Love Code
SEVERAL months ago the Improvement As
~ ISOLATION of Edgewater Park, New Jersey,
bitterly complained against the whistle shrieks
of passing locomotives. 1t was Inquired out
that at least eight hundred toots day were the
total for regular trains that passed through the
town. Men stationed near the tracks by the
association discovered that one train that
passed three times a day the principal
offender The attention of the watchers was
first attracted to this train when, on slackening
speed near a house at the east end OF the town,
the locomotive whistle INDUCED in wild and
variable program of shrieks that seemed to
have no particular railroad significance.
Subsequent investigation brought to light
the interesting fact that the engineers sweet
heart lived in the house near the tracks and
that some such love signal schedule as this had
been arranged between the girl and her wooer
Two short blasts, {" l coming" three short
blasts, Throw me kiss" one long blast "a
kiss from me- two long blasts, Il love you"
When the young woman appeared on the
porch and waved to her lover, the latter would
answer with series of whistle toots which would
have put circus calliope to shame.
Although the association succeeded in put
ting an end to the noise it had to thank Cupid
as much as themselves: for, when the girl and
the engineer realized the calamity that was
about to fall upon them, they got married.
How He Got His Stenosrapher
MOT long ago there printed in the news
papers story of the way in which Nash
vile gallant had won the hand of his stenog-
rapher. Although it evident to the wooer
that the young woman did not regard him en-
tirely without favor, he found it extremely
difficult to get her to listen to his plea. The
stenographer refused to lunch, sup, go to the
theater with her admirer.
Finding every avenue of approach blocked,
the determined courier, who possessed some
literary facility wrote a short love story in
which the girl and he were the leading figures.
This story he sent to the stenographer every
morning for month and ordered her to type
write it for him She dared not refuse to do as
her employer commanded and, realizing
through the story that he would never give up
until she married him, she finally acquiesced.
Uncle Sam Go Between
A MALICIOUS to the persstency of this
wooer was that of man in San Francisco
who won a Pasadena bride through the con-
veniently relentless United States postal ser