davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-15

Nothing Is easier than for the young
of the human animal to learn to swim
unless they've been pampered and
ness Of youth Animals swim the first
time they find themselves out OF
depth. The only reason man does not
Is because he's afraid, and, In order
to save himself from the dreaded
catastrophe, he struggles frantically
to keep half out OF water until 1t be-
comes a matter Of chance which half
is above and which Is below. This is
grave error Of judgment With only
your nose and mouth under, you are
quite as badly OF as the ostrich with
it's head I'm the sand, and just a
breath or two OF water in your lungs
dispels what is left of your senses.
On the other hand, with nose and
mouth out, all the rest OF you can
stay under with impunity, and that's
the whole story.
Now II the foolish human" really
insists upon thinking N such an emer-
gency, II is O great pity he won't
think on these lines, and, moreover,
IL he thinks at all, he must realize
that the human body is apt to be a
little lighter than its bulk OF water.
The proof OF this Is In the fact that
most people can float with the face
out, especially In salt water, provided
all the rest of the body IL carefully
submerged. Even IL you happen to
be unusually heavy-boned and thin,
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-15
NAPOLEON AND HIS
c0NoUERoR

Bonaparte talked . good while 70
Lord Whitworth, who presented Me
and about IL others I stood close TO
Him and Had good opportunity OF
examining his countenance. He Has
Hair Straight and rather darker than
yours: the Shape OF His Head very
like Nine: His Eyes light Gray. not
much Eye Brow; the brow projecting
a good deal. but not so much a. ID
In the casts at London.
His Nose In large and prominent. but
Has not that sudden rise In the middle
which mine has, and a. His Busts
Have, but resembles William Camp
bells more; His complexion 10 uncom-
monty sallow, His Beard very dark
but not thickset. and apparently not
newly shaved. His teeth are very
fine, and when He Laughs or smiles
the expression of His face u quite
His Highth, should think.
is as nearly Mine - possible: He IL
no taller. His limbs are
small but straight Kneed and neatly
made. He was dressed In the consul
lar coat, which n crimson Velvet rich
ly embroidered. white Breeches and
silk stockings. After having gone
round the circle He placed Himself
between Cambaceres and Le Brun,
and made bows Of dismissal, on
which we all retired-From the Letter
Of Lord Campbell.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-15
English Horribly Misspoke"

ARE worn by gents who eat lunches
by gentlemen who eat lunches and
q little more careful In the use Of
ces, soiled linen, ragged clothes; why
what the word means, don't use r..
There are plenty of other words.
You might say agreeable people,
charming girls. delicious" soda
water, attractive" tombstones.
Above, etc.-Do you say ''the above
statement?" Then, why not "the
below statement" "the within state
ment," the without statement
These words are adverbs, not adjec-
tives. They don't fit In before
nouns. The foregoing statement
and "the following statement are
correct.
FuActicn-Good English experts OBJ
ject to social functions" The word
function" doesn't mean gather
ing" reception" affair" II may
be the function OF q social leader
TO give parties, but the parties them
selves are not functions" II Is the
function OF the liver TO secrete
bile. But that has nothing to do
with society. The word means q
specific power or duty Of a person,
or the normal action Of o bodily or
gan.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-15
WOMEN'S INFLUENCE
ON THE DRAMA

Further. there are the women to be
considered. Here you have q tremen-
dous asset and one to be increasing
ly reckoned upon. Today woman's
position is very different from what 1t
was twenty or twenty-five years ago.
She Is a free agent She goes where
she will, seeks diversion In whatever
quarter she may please; she Is no
longer dependent upon mans advice
or mans protection. Examine any
first-night audience and you wiz md
Il am speaking chiefly OF the occu-
pants of the cheaper parts-that wom-
en- constitute quite so per cent OF those
present, and that they have secured
the best places for themselves: 1t Is
for us to provide them and their com
rades with the fare they want--Geo'
Alexander in a London Interview.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-15

Coleridge must be added to the list
of authors who have found inspiration
in dreams, for he himself has told US
that he composed over two hundred
lines Of "Kubla Khan" during q sleep
of three hours. On awakening he
wrote down the fragment now exist.
ing, but the interruption Of visitor
banished the rest from his mind. The
frat idea of THE Ancient Mariner"
too, was suggested to the poet by a
dream of his friend Cruikshank. And
Kipling's Greatest Story In the
World" was but the half.remembered
dream of o commonplace young man.
London Chronicle.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-15
GERMAN ACUTENEss.

The egg-cups imported into India at
one time all came from Great Britain
The Indian eggs are, however, very
small, and the egg-cups did not 1T A
German traveller noticed this small
item and got his firm to make smaller
egg-cups and export them there. All
the trade is now In German hands.
In Africa the scissors imported
from Sheffield were found to be rather
dangerous weapons to place In the
hands of natives. owing to their sharp
points. The Soligen steel works sent
a lot of round-pointed scissors out,
which found favor. and now Germany
has captured the whole market--Chl
cago Journal.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-15

Pants" a cynical critic has said
and open wine, and trousers are worr
order wine" We might Just as well b
words. We are ashamed of dirty II
not be ashamed OF sloyenly speech
Lady and gentleman-These good
old words have been abused 50
much that persons Of refinement are
ashamed to use them. When every
woman is a lady and every man
is q gentleman" the words man"
and woman and girl are the
only refuge of the cultured. In Am
erica anyone, of whatever origin or
station, may be called a LADY or
gentleman" II he or she has the
personal traits of gentility. But the
words should not be used loosely
for any member OF either sex.
ruined by bad use. The
words Is commonly applied to a
thing or person that Is agreeable
I'm any way. SO We have nice
girls" mice soda water" nice
tombstohes." Before the word lost
its true force, it meant possessing
discrimination, refined, fastidious,"
or subtle, finely adjusted" A
nice" person is likely to be very
critical. A nice" mechanism 10
seldom popular. II you don't grasp
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-15
MOST ANYTHING

over Punkville Is demonstrated. Let's
go over to Bingtown and kill of the
inhabitants.
A German invention ia a process to
develop ordinary Photographic dry
plates in daylight.
All that's bright must fade
The brightest still the feetest;
All that's sweet was made
But to be lost when sweetest!
MOORE.
The national forests of the county
cover all area as large as Texas and
Ohio combined.
Become your own poet by filing In
the blanks according TO your moral
convictions:
John Bunk liked a glass OF
And drank II every night.
He drank il with the best OF cheer.
But never got real -.
Silence gives consent. But not at
Oyster Bay.
Paris physicians successfully re-
moved bullet from a soldiers heart.
the soldier going back to duty few
days later.
The clearing houses OF ID leading
Canadian cities for 1909 showed total
transactions of over 100000, 900.
Massachusetts, lost S236,47s through
forest fres last year.
Canada has $4,000 miles of railroad
track.
The three sweetest Words accord
ing to Most Anything correspondents
s. ID. Fits boy"
Milxe-"Take the pot"
b. III. Je-"Heads, you win"
| Bill-'Let me buy"
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-15
The Farmhand's Kick.

Bill Ordway, who has worked In
this vicinity many years as farm
hand, was In town today. boiling mad.
sI have worked for $40 month and
hoard ever since I was a boy" he
said, "and now the farmers are paying
men $50 a month and board to run
their automobiles. And these automo-
bile runners do not get up ut daylight
and work until sundown."-Atchison
Globe. H..
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-15
AND LIKEWISE A LOBSTER.

The young evangelist with a pompa-
dour was relieving himself of moment
GUS thoughts.
THE Being that filed with surging
seas the vast caverns OF the oceans
he proclaimed, ALSO holds In aerial
suspense the aggregations OF the tiny
drops that give TO each wondering
eye the marvellous spectacle Of a sep
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-15
Rather more than 800 years ago
there lived in England . ruddy-faced,
jolly old doctor.
His name was Thomas Cogan.
The name Cogan makes one sus-
pect that there was . bit Of the
brogue to the old doctors tongue and
that before he started in long, long
life a-doctoring English people, he
had himself stored up health and
e Trouble With
HE American People Is
They All Eat Too Much
81. cooan Told We 800 Years Ago
what the Matter 10 With us To-
day-Thomas A. Edison
Moro Recent With
He Advice.


a strength ON the lean of an Irish cottager.
Anyhow Cogn quaint general advice down
ss word-wo they good thoy
than 500 years ago. good about
81 our eating:
quante ought all greatly to be
regarded therein h small occasion of health Sickness life
Or consumeh the substance flesh
50 doth exnguh natural heat wherein
X life CONSISTENT.
"Use measure in eating long
greatest eating vare
az meats at one meale dish
then procureh eat
moro require bngeh and
sometimes and truehat
sufet than by the sword And nature be not
actually upon yet they drowse and heavs and
more loyter than labor YEA the mnde and wit
% oppressed that lyeth
drowned for a time and unable to his force
some one were to ask you living whom Of those
u among u.s. 800 and be what
consider the greatest genius and whose genius
been of the greatest mankind believe would right
away, Thomas A. Edison
What toward the the could not
told in many books elaborate with all the
tcuas
But for Invention and ~ putting his
great mental century problems there contained not
me the real benefit from just few words
which he recently spoke reporter the New York World
their application for their relation what Ut
Cogan has to
This S what Edison
epe don't feed the human Dynamo they killing
themselves by overeang They them pleasure Con
denr body light Of dynamo again. they
sat enough and keep going right they would cat
about one-hnd Of the quantity that they eat now
II eat just enough weight constant find am falling
a in weight my eating; taking flesh reduce my
ount Of food believe there such thing brain food
eat everything diet except point of quantity eat
ttfour meaand eat time feel hungry
70 to my meals regularly do not feel hungry leave the table
without eating
sleep and sleep time and place. could
uleep in q boiler factory If was sleepy"
We don't have tell you about Edison.
VI You know about the great things he has done
He has stop only at waking the dead which the
impossible
But this advice service that the next thing
which he cannot do
bring m but he tells how we can cheat the old
4 fellow with the scythe for some time to come
We eat much and too fast.
When get eating and that slowly will live longer
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-15
TWO MINUTE VAUDEVILLE
~ FRED scHAEFER.

slap-can you anything about prehistoric humor7
| minstrel show that
we'll them wins the original joke?
SIap-How was dam original Joke?
handed him the apple he got funny
II when he bit
WV slap--wer, IL the original Joke.
%
Slap--Because he vas cracked.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-15
The Presidents Opportunity.

Now that Mr.. Taft has decided not
to make any political speeches this
fall he should be able to spare quite
a little time from golf to devote to
the duties of the presidency.-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-15

arate rainbow. The Omnipotence that
made me made a daisy. "-Everybody's
Magazine.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-15
GRANDPA
TAFT AND
TAFT.

Since Mr. crowded with
conservation Of solid capital
Of Course Of two or three
bless all freedom
Sann0s SnS % conend durnS toll
with such and the D.
referred any two or
three months vacation trying by organization
through the sightho an snsavor
And we cannot help OSssrV9s as what M TAFT
that we be exempted from the Of law % hn
which
grants.
both right about needing
to
need pumping awfuly
politics win likely
unto this day that wise SAYING Of old philosopher
Q. IKE sentiment u,. n, nsmor. :, ,,,,n. ,., :,
SAME ss q 1..e '9ns' assembled
We dspIose the weakness and a%alty Of Pres TAFT
ts once to force recrean congressional majority to DO
Democras name such principle Democracy
smell. like Of the sanss most
the matter Of how much should be given the
into they
onion nsSrstiysy
in
Ss masser Of @ for him
Ou 1c the the ss and the o that .9 our
calling itself Democratic and demanding
other president feel tmd about
compliment III and ACKNOWLEDGES
principles which made that Boston Tea Party
Democratic administration permitting
because the whole business isn't by weak and tmd
bowling for You deoo by spelling
power. -NEA
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-15

North Carolina leads the states In
the production Of tobacco.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-15

AMIss Tabitha FoozIewink says she
wIshos them wimmen's magazines
wrouidn't give 90 many Helpful House.
hold Hints that ye have ter buy some
min ter folier with"
That Peanut Incident.
(The True Version.)
The boy stood on the burning deck,
Whnce all but him had fed:
The flame that lit the battles wreck
shone round him o'ef the dead.
Mrs. Hemans.
"women are always smiling. aren't
fhey?"
yea. and the funny part of 1t is
that they occasionally mean it."
There are about 700.o0o.ooo acres
Of public land in the United States.
oxford Pinchot may run for gov
ern0r Of New York. but from present
indications be would lose the Wall-st.
CHINATOWN has defeated our ball
foom.s SAID tho first fan.
Aios. aIas,s said the second fan,
f|As comp1ste sugrsmacy Of Bingtown
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-15
TINES FUNNY CHANGES.
BY FRED scHAEFER.

that fellow who with
roh he gota them"
8 dong?' ~
TIes q collector" 4 4
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-15

All that's bright must fade
The brightest still the feetest;
All that's sweet was made
But TO be lost when sweetest!
MOORE.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-15

Maybe Mr. Tafts father, in his time. was right Nav
be the worker could recuperate q two weeks vacs
ton II judicious about putting in the time
But Mr. Tafts fathers s also right IN opninr ths
this generation has learned that there II such thin
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-15
OBSERVATIONS

out bef> =. -
OF
white Indeed
that talk about being the hope the white this
oo drilled into day spy man
MR. JEFFRrrs crazy" -
Sentimentalsm. II knocked out q v.srh
sTuFFEp Ing 200 with biceps
- measurement OF and
OF muscles that Hercules might -
basis that and = -
q minute white
obsolete The
ever VIII
or yea
The they n sentimental stun into fellows
drive
that fellows with only prise fighter
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-15

There are about 700.00o.ooo acres
OF public land in the United States.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-15

A German invention ia process to
develop ordinary Photographic dry
plates in daylight.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-15
MR.. JEFFRIEs
WAS
STUFFED.

MY father thought" said
thing exhaustns the
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-15

The national forests Of the country
cover all area as large as Texas and
Ohio combined.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-15

over Punkville Is demonstrated. Let's
go over to Bingtown and kill of the
inhabitants"
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-15

.Yes. and the funny part of 1t is
that they occasionally mean it."
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-15

politics win
of Ike sentim
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1910-04-15
TAKING OF CENSUS BE-
GINS IN ROSWELL TODAY

The work of taking the census of
New Mexico and the United States
was commenced in Roswell today, as
il was all over the United States, it's
territories and in the countries under
Uncle Sans protection. In Roswell
the task is divided into five jobs, rep
resenting the different wards of the
city The eIumerators are as follows
First Ward, +. A. Harmed: Second
Ward, Roy Parsons; .'hird Ward, DIR.
5. Fl. Runyan: Fourth Ward. Mrs.
Grace f. Baker: Fifth Ward, Will
Alexander James w. Mullins has the
work of Precincts Nos. / and out
side the city of Roswell and the work
of taking the census of domestic ami.
mails. He will be assisted later by
Roy Parsons. who expects to finisa
his census in the Second Ward in
fifteen days. Earl Wheeler has the
taking OF the census in Precincts Nos.
and 4. south of Roswell The rules
provide that the enumerators nave
thirty days in which to complete
their work. but the Roswell takers
expect to get through in fifteen days.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1910-04-15
FRANK PIERCE. THE COURT
OF LAST RESORT

Wasilin gton, April 15.-Frank
Pierce. first assistant secretary of
tae interior. resumed his testimony
before the Ballinger-Pinchot investi-
eating committee today.
committeeman asked Mr.. Pierce
il he would be the court of last re-
sort in deciding whether the Gun
bingham claimants are entitled to
their patents. The witness said that
neither the claimants nor the govern
ment would have appeal from his de-
cisions. He supposed the secretary OF
the interior would have the legal right
to review his decisions. but he could
not recall a case where the secretary
iad reversed or revised one of his
decisions.
Il want to say right iere,' ex-
claimed Mr.. Pierce. that no decision
will he announced in these Cunning
ham claims until every one of the
TWENTY-FIVE lawyers in my department
have made extensive examination OF
the records. When this is doneI shall
send tle records to the department OF
agriculture and ask for a similar ex
animation at the hands of the large
force of lawyers there"
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1910-04-15

wife did not witness the shooting and
told only of circumstances before and
after the affair. The ten year old boy
who was in the corral when the sup
posed quarrel took place, could tell
but little of what happened. The lit
tie girl told of the shooting, as she
saw it. The statement in yesterday s
paper to the effect that the little girl
brought Arnold his gun, upon being
called to do so, was a mistake, made
through a misunderstanding of the
term, "old man." Mr.. Arnold stated to-
day. The only calling was done by
Luckie to his wife, Mr.. Arnold says.
to bring him his gun.
Jack Avery, the only witness put
On by the defense, occupied the stand
this afternoon. He stated that Luckie
had been drinking some that day and
tlat Luckie had called Arnold a name.
He said that the two men had been
friends.
At three o'clock this afternoon Ar
mold had secured all but one thous-
and dollars of his bond. Up to that
time J. NJ. Coburn, president of the
Turkey Track company, John Shaw
and Smith Lea had signed the bond.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1910-04-15
7. R. Is NOT
A CANDIDATE

Vienna. Austria. April 15.-Mr.
Roosevelt was indignant today when
he learned that report had been
printed in Paris and cabled to Amer
lea that one of the results of the rec
ent conference with Clifford Pinchot
was AN agreement on the part of Mr..
Roosevelt to allow mis- name to be
put out as a candidate for the presi-
dency.
MIR. Roosevelt reiterated that ne had
not and would not make any declar
alton in regard to American politics
while in Europe" He had talked with
Mr.. Pinchot, he said, as he would
talk with any otner political friend.
Mr.. Roosevelt said he would here
after decline to receive the newspaper
correspondent who had given curren-
cy to this report
Theodore Roosevelt and Kermit ar
rived at Vienna at s. As this morning.
During the morning the former presi-
dent drove in a court carriage to the
foreign office and made a formal call
ON Count Won Achrenthal, the foreign
minister
At two o'clock this afternoon Mr
Roosevelt was driven TO the Hofburg
palace, where he was received in aud
ience by Emperor Francis Joseph. AS
a special mark of esteem the Emper
or received his guest in his private
apartments instead of in the usual
audience chambers.
AS Mr. Roosevelt entered the court
yard of the palace. the guard turned
out and rendered him military hon
ors.
From the palace Mr.. Roosevelt went
tn the Capuchin church, where rest
the bones of the Hapsburgs. There he
placed n wreath on the tombs of the
Empress Elizabeth and Crown Prince
Rudolph. A round of official calls then
followed
Tonight uhe officials of the foreign
office will give a dinner at which Mr..
Roosevelt will be the guest of honor.
Several hundred people remained in
front of the Hotel Kranz throughout
the day The keenest interest is felt
in Mr.. Roosevelt's comings and go-
ings and at each appearance of the
American hats are raised in respect.
but no other manifestation has been
made
The Emperor returned Mr.. Roose-
velt's call this afternoon. This is
notable compliment as the aged mon
arch habitually returns the visits on
" of reigning sovereigns and ambas-
sadors on the occasion of the presen-
tation of their credentials.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1910-04-15
The Kansas City Stock Market.

Kansas City. Mo-. April 15.-Cattle
receipts. 10000. including 100 south
e ms. Market strong. Native steers,
6.o2@S.25: soIthern steers. 5.25@S.-
90: southern cows. 3.50n 5.75: native
cows and heifers, 1000 $50: stockers
and feeders. 4.5OM6.So: bulls. 4.OOm
600: calves, 2.756IS.0O; western
steers. 5.75G 500: western cows, 400
I6.25.
Hog receipts, 5000. Market weak
Bulk of sales, 9.65 $3.50: heavy, $50
T9-95: packers and butchers, 9.70M
$50: light, 9.40M9.S0: pigs. S.7569.25.
Sheep receipts. 5000. Market weak.
Muttons. 6.5OsIS.5O: lambs. S.25m9.-
75: fed western wetners and yearlings,
1-00@9.10: fed western ewes. 6.50G
.S25.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1910-04-15
WITH THE
FIGHTERS

Ben Lomond, CAL, April 15.-Tnis
is Jim Jeffries 35th birthday. but ow-
ing to the illness of Mrs. Jeffries and
the gloon cast over the fighter by
the pending operation upon her the
festivities planned for the event were
abandoned yesterday
For the first time in many years
Jefries faced a negro in the ring. On
this occasion as on previous ones.
Bob Armstrong was the black. He
has been added to Jeffries training
camp because of his long association
with Johnson, with whose style OF
fighting ne is Thoroughly familiar.
Jeffries made no attempt to unlt-n-
ber Eis heavy fstic artillery. His
trainers have pointed out to him the
urgent necessity of taking his prelim-
mary work slowly and Jeffries Is ap-
DarenIly needing their advice.
Johnson Puts in Some Work.
Chicago, April 15.-After his day
off due to his appearance in court.
Jack Johnson put in a hard training
session Yesterday He walked and ran
ten miles. boxed with Cutler and Col
ton and finished the days training
with an hours gymnasium work.
The champion asserted that IL ae
didn't get mixed up with the courts he
would continue this sort OF work un-
til he leaves for the coast
Johnson displayed keen interest in
the L.angford-Barry figlt and when
told OF the result said that either Bar
ry is improving or Langford is going
back.