davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-27
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
IFrom the Chicago News.]

L FIOIIl tllC ShiCaSO 4NC"S.I
The chap with money to burn never
has it insured.
Some beauty isn't even skin deep.
Lots Of it rubs off.
A girl isn't much for looks who is
unable to see across the street.
+. Money is so tight there doesn't even
seem to be any loose change.
Life may be worth living because of
the things beyond our reach.
Occasionally a political reformer is
merely envious of a political CRATER.
While the other fellow. is talking
about it you can beat him to it by
acting.
There are a great many things that
drive men to drink, but tho principal
one is thirst.
If walking were as popular as talk
ing aelot more people would be both
healthier and wiser.
brainless man may win a wife, but
when it comes to supporting her-we11,
that's another story.
After a man has been married few
years he wonders why it is so differ
emit from what he thought it would be-
A laborer in Vermont had to take a
poor farm in payment for work, and
later it developed into a rich marble
Quarry. Another case of hard luck
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-27
the Annapolis man Joins the class Of act

the Annapolis man Joins the class of act
nal fighting men.
In the army a man becomes second
lieutenant Immediately after completing
his four years course of study at West
Point. In the navy he spends hiss four
years at Annapolis, and then two more
on warship before becoming an en-
sign. His duties are similar to those of a
second lieutenant, but of greater response
biiity, and yet he is still middle"
When this midshipnan called to his
men to trim the sailing launch, his Or
ders fell on deaf ears. He was mere
middle" and his word meant little to re-
turning liberty men He could do nothing
then but take a chance of disaster, but
IN that disaster he proved that a. mid
shipman is worthy of real rank.
Congress should take warning and pass
bill that has SO frequently been. urged
by the higher naval offtcers-a bill to give
the mids1ipman the rank of ensign before
sending him out on the nations warships
as a commander Of men.-New York
American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-27

MOVING 70 TOWN.

Over half of the people of the Uni
ted States live in town. This is a fact
established by the census and the only
question undetermined is how much
more than so per cent the town folks
constitute
The figures already reported show
tnat 81 per cent of the population live
In cities of over $4,000 population. Di-
rector Durand estimates that 20 per
cent live in cities of over $780, As
there is large population in towns
less than $500 it is easy to see how the
per cent will grow when the figures
TOT Incorporated towns of all sizes are
prepared.
Out of 2.925 counties in the country
10S snow a decrease in population.
These 1913 are practically all counties
in which there are no large towns.
The drift is steadily to the cement
walks and the electric lights. Farms
have increased in worth, their products
nave advanced in value, but the popu-
lation sustained by the farms is de-
creasing, slowly but surely.
Prosperity has brought farmers to
town and machinery has reduced the
number or laborerS required IN the
country.-Hutchinson News.
TOO MANY LAWS.
As usual every crank in the legislature
enactment into law.
Few people realize what multiplicity
low we nave. HOW IIlduy ASddCAS u
this, for instance, know that in one book
of statutes there are 2,474 pages, to say
nothing of about forty volumes of session
laws that are not all copied into this
immense volume? And how many would
believeA without seeing them, that there
are 1892 sections of these same general
laws. This wilderness of laws is grouped
under 128 chapters some of which contain
1e0sor more pages.
How many of the people of Kansas
have ever looked into that gigantic tome,
to say nothing of being familiar with Its
contents? And yet every person of sound
mind is presumed to know not only the let
ter of every law contained therein. but to
understand its spirit well, and be able
to interpret 1t in accordance with the
ideas of the supreme court of the state.
And this supreme court has written and
published 50 volumes of opinions as to
what. these laws mean, and IL you do not
know then you must suffer the conse-
quences If you transgress one of them,
no matter how innocentIy. for the law
pompously presumes that every man
knows it. 1t would seem to the ordinary
man the height of folly to add still more
hundreds. Far better obliterate some
of those we have now than to add others
that are useless. and may be worse than
that. If there really is any law not al
ready in that great book that we need.
which is doubtful, then let US wipe out
two useless. ones to give it place.-Law-
renee Gazette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-27
Tercentenary of the Bible.

There have been good many CEN
tennial celebrations of late, some few
bicentennials, and a few tercentenary
observances, but one of the most in
teresting of the series is being plan
ned for April %, 1911. 1t will be
the tercentenary of the King James
version of the English Bible, and the
the following week, observed with ap-
propriate exercises wherever the Eng
lish language is understood. The or
ganization behind the project is the
American Bible society. The exact
date of the publication of the King
James version is now unknown, but
there is no question as to the year,
1911. The society, in order to have
the celebration all over the world fall
upon the same days, suggests that the
first Sunday after Easter be adopted
as the opening day.
The selection seems to be wise, and
the occasion is one that will be mark
ed by churches and religious bodies
far and wide. Ministers, Sunday
school superintendent, heads of gov
ernments and colleges, judges and ed
itors are requested to do all in their
power to help along the affair. APP
propriate themes for addresses and
programs are suggested by the Sec
retaries of the society, and among the
most interesting are THE story of
the growth of the English Bible from
the first TRANSACTIONS to the King
James version" Later revisions and
TRANSACTIONS" 1.-The influence of the
English Bible on English literature
1.-The influence of the Bible on Gus
toms, laws, government. and social
life" and THE English Bible and CIV
il liberty. "-Springfield Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-27
LAYHAWKER JOTS

A nine-year-old We1lsville girl, re-
ports the Globe, who witnessed the
baptizing Sunday, remarked that she
didn't see why people wanted to get
converted in the winter time. M
A lady in this city, reports. the Par
sons Palladium, who does a good deal
of collecting would like to know what
is the proper procedure when she en-
tiers an office and finds the proprietor
spooning with the stenographer or one
of the lady clerks. aes AIS,
A Kansas exchange tells of the teach
er who was asking her little ones some
questions about the holidays. and
WHAT she said, looking suggestively at
Mickey O'Hooligan, SON of the Union
Pacific section boss, do we call March
17?" II know" said Mickey. What
is March III" asked the teacher. It's
U. P. payday, whin me- fa-ather gifts
paid off," said Mickey. 4
Here's another argument that is be-
ginning to be used against prohibition:
A Massachusetts woman testifies that
his going on the water wagon ruined
her husbands disposition Before TAX
ing the abstaining ride he had a most
beautifu1' disposition but after swear
ing off she couldn't live with him. It's
great argument. Almost as good as
the one which says that If a fellow
can't quit when he has enough he ought
to get drunk and lose his job.-Ottawa
Herald.
The editor of the Clay Center Dis
patch took no chances last week that
he would not be absolutely right in his
forecast of the weather in the immedi-
ate future. In his daily edition pub
lished on Thursday he printed white
flag denoting that the forecast was for
clear weather And in his weekly edi-
ton published on the same day he
sprinted black flag indicating that the
coming, weather was likely to be UNI
settled
gentleman told this boy story to the
Atchison Globe: II was taking lunch
with friend of mine recently who has
small boy about 3 years old. AS a
very special favor, and to please me,
his mother allowed him to come to the
table telling me that she could not
promise that he would behave in the
proper manner, as she had never tried
him before. The boy behaved very well
until the dessert come on the table.
AS this proved to be ice cream, his
favorite dish. he wanted to have a sec
ond dish. His mother refusing, he said:
If you don't give me some, I'll tell on
your The mother still refusing, he
cried out: If you don't give it to me
before count 10 I'll tell. One, two,
three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine,
ten His mother still paying no at
teption he shouted: My pants are made
out of the window curtain
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-27
MUCH DEPENDS ON RAILROADS

While the Christmas retail trade was
large and gratifying in almost all sec
lions of the country and particularly
in the great west, the general condi-
tions in this business world remain
rather dull And it is the opinion of
Henry Clews, the, New York banker,
that the situation will remain this way,
and that general activity in trade
circles will not begin to develop until
there has been a re-adjustment of
things in the railroad worl and set
Ting of the several important matters
which are now to the fore in this con-
trolling industry Writing on this top
ic in his current weekly financial re-
view Mr.. Clews says:
american requirements for new
capital are still very pressing, and I'M
less all signs are mistaken, the next
few weeks will witness considerable
offerings new securities. Our rail-
roads are especially in need of funds
to carry out projected improvements
and will if possible make large de-
mands upon new capital supplies.
Their ability to finance new under
takings is largely dependent upon the
the treatment they receive at the hands
or the INTERSTATE COAlAA1o-
sion. Fortunately there is every rea-
son to expect that they will receive fair
consideration and be allowed to make
some advance in rates. The situa-
ton of the railroads is anything but
satisfactory. Traffic is already begin
ming to decline and some of the west
ern roads are curtailing their service
and enforcing various economies. In
view of the heavy increase of expenses
the future is one that will require con-
siderable skill and patience on the
part of railroad managers. The in
crease in Lehigh Valley dividend from
to 10 per cent did not excite any en-
thusiasm. That road is exceptional in
its conditions and managem ent; there
fore is no criterion for other proper
ties which may have difficulty in main
tanning present rate of dividends. The
stock touched $50, but that is no
higher than it sold on a 6 per cent
basis. The policy of raising the divi
dend at this time was at least question
able, considering the general railroad
situation. There are some who think
it would have been better judgment
for the company to have shown some
favor to shippers as well as stock
holders.
1.-THE close of the year finds gen.
eral business in very quiet condition
Conservatism. prevails everywhere
The steel trade is still running at
about one-half it's capacity in the crud-
er forms and there are no signs of
early revival in sight. Everything de-
ponds on the railroads. Possibly if
the latter place their bonds satisfactor-
lily, orders for cars, equipment, etc,
will be forthcoming The textile
trades are also quiet and efforts are
being made for general and concerted
curtailment. There is nothing I'M
sound in the situation, but gradual
settling down process has begun, which
must run its course before real re-
covery can be expected. Economy is
now being practiced not only in bus
mess, but at the home. AMI in nearly
every direction curative tendencies are
at work which will in due season pave
the way for a fresh forward move
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-27
GLOBE SIGHTS.
IFrom the Atchison Globe

When a dog can do tricks, that's
all he's good for.
We do not believe in ghosts. but
the talk ScareS us. ~ -a.-f.-s-l
It's a mean trick to give no Christ
mas presents. and expect a lot.
Most things people are compelled to
take have been picked over.
No difference how cheap thing is
offered, people want it for less.
Success is the only thing that saves
a political career from being disrep-
utable.
When husband has reason to be
proud of his wife, he seldom neglects
to mention it.
good many people don't want to
know the truth, if it is opposed to
their preJudiceS.
Old age is respectable. but Chaun-
cey N. Depew is the first man to claim
that it is enjoyable.
You hear great many health
hints" but probably the most impor-
tant is not to worry. or hate.
Although it is polite to say girl is
led to the altar, you will observe that
she never pulls back much.
Some girls are so particular that
the only way you can hold their hands
is to shake hands with, them.
Before the man is married he buys
more clothes than he can afford, and
after he is married his wife buys
them. ,saa
A man never knows what to say
when he is serenaded: and he never
knows what to say when he gets a
Christmas present.
Learning seems to make as many
mistakes as Ignorance. Haven't you
remarked the great number of mis-
takes made by the learned?
A man rather enjoys being told that
he is devilish until he is thirty years
old; after that, he feel like smashing
anyone who calls him devilish
The world is undoubtedly growing
better, but We refuse to believe that
the New Years resolution has any
thing to do with the improvement.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-27
HUAOR or THE DAY

Nodd-I've got a couple of thousand
saved up to decorate my house with. Todd
What folly! Buy an automobile, and you
won't care whether your house is decorat-
ed or not.-Life.
Motorton, sr.-You kept the car out
you? Motorton. Jr.-Had a blowout. dad.
Motorton. Sr.-H'm! Tire or roadhouse?-i
Puck.
y 1e ts Of Is a
not aware that you were in business"
in the wspapers.',-Boston Transcript.
For goodness sake. John. how long did
you boil these eggs? Just as long as
They're ffa RE- hard ard as bricks. 81 boiled them
Just twelve minutes" "Twelve7 Why. 1
for an egg.'' yes, dear; but I boiled
four of them. '-Cleveland Leader.
speak for himself II shall do it for you
after we are married. she added. Here
with he FASTENED to seize the last chance.
stoode-You take the armchair. Pearline.
We'll. suppose we both take it.-Cornell
Widow.
/ Penn-Do you see anything of our old
friend. Growei? Last time 1 saw him ne
said he didn't like New York. Gothmite-
That's so. but guess he'd rather be in
New York than where ne is now. Penn
Where is he now? Gothmite-I wouldn't
care to say. He's dead.-Catnolic Stand
ard and Times.
How is it. if love is blind that we hear
of love at first sight?' 1T is after love
at first sight occurs that love usually
goes blind. s-chcago Record-Herald.
sI came along at a fine pace in my new
motor car this morning must have
zone well over forty" Dogs or chick
ens?'-World of Golf
u,ortb fiji we've lost it" That's right
For instance my. life is insured for SIC, 900. =
Cleveland Leader.
"Mother's very sore at pa" What's
the rnatter?'' The husbands of the wo-
men who live on each side of us are EIks
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-27

week" "a .
You might call to interest her in
some CHARITY" was suggested.
put you can't talk over eye and
ear hospitals with goddess. can
you? Shed probably give me a check
Tor nfty dollars and then forget nv
name in ten minutes"
And there's no way you can save
II can't think of any. and I've been
trying to for, two days If she was
going to be blown up how would I
know in advance and be on the spot ?''
But see here" said the girl as the
LOOK OF perplexity left her face, you
haven't told me the name of the god
CESS yet If I'm to advise you I must
nave your confidence
That's so-thats so. Well, she is
Miss Blank, the daughter of the rail-
road magnate.''
Then you don't read the society
journals
Never"
Her engagement was announced
six weeks ago to a Chicago banker.
Tnat's all, Mr.. Montagu-no charge"
Three evenings later Mr.. Montagu
mad MIR. Dawson at the club for din
ner. and when the coffee and cigars
came on he said:
Sam, who is that stenographer of
yours %
"a Miss Grafton, daughter of a
widow. Her father was a merchant
and made a bad failure Why do you
ask"
Sam, I think need a friendly ad-
wiser"
st know you do"
81 shall need one all the rest of my
life"
Looks like it to me-
well, you go to lunch early to
morrow and stay late. I'm coming to
the office to ask Miss Grattan if ]
may call on her at her home and make
her mothers acquaintance
"And marry the Widow
mo, sir-e-e-e! The goodies Sam
the goddess of the Dot-hooks and
the keys!"-Copyrighte 1910 by Asso-
ciated Literary Pressl-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-27
JOURNAL. ENTRIES

Hard work and lots of it is the Sc
eret of most successes
X X y
The sum total of many women's
pleasure is dress. And a few men are
similarly constituted.
x X X
It's too often the case that the good
opinion a man has of himself is not
shared by others. -
X Y y
Many a faint heart who has failed
to win a fair lady is probably much
better off. He'd surely have been.hen-
pecked. So -.-.ss.
n
This is also the season of the year
when every one stretches point or
two in remarking: ct got just exact
ly what wanted for Christmas.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-27

Everybody in Kansas wants to keep
the taxes down, but a considerable por-
ton of the people who are directly
concerned in carrying on the public
work Of the state have the necessary
plans-many of them most reasonable
and desirable-to keep taxes where
they are IT make them higher. For
instance, the state board of education
would like as much as million and a
half of dollars from the state funds
for the purposes of country schools.
And state funds could be expended to
\ worse advantage.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-27

Multitudinous, indeed, are the activi-
ties of the federal government Count
is kept each year by one of the en-
thusiastic governmental departments
of the number of telephone and teIe-
graph poles used throughout the coun-
try. 1t wouldn't surprise anybody TO
see government statistics in the near
future on the number of toothpicks
used annually.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-27

1t may be observed in this example,
that the limerick is deficient in its lack
of misspelled words, and the pathos
of the case in questionable sad dis
appointment of the poodle over his
present, is not sufficient to make up
what thes limerick lacks in artistic
touch. One may observe that even the
highly artistic illustration fails to
bring the verse up to even a second
grade standard. Pupils joining our
Limerick Glass should avoid this low
grade style.
| Here is our proposition: To the
pupil sending US, on postal card or
under seal, during the next week, the
best example of homemade limerick,
will be awarded the grand prize,-an
elegant Ring set with IA carats of
Real Liver; for the next best Inner
lex, the second prize, post card pic
ture of the Topeka buffalo herd. Get.
in. It's a good way to forget that the
First of the Month is coming. Special
padded cells are being constructed to
accommodate winning candidates Ad-
dress. by the Way" Topeka, and the
postman will know the answer. 80
AS one Curious to Know, we ask:
What is the au fait thing to do in
case one is presented with one of
those fuzzy bonnets, which look like
a NANCY maltese cat. Should one take
| it to the barber shop? Or should it
be treated with a lawn mower? Or
how would it do to SINCE it over the
gas stove, as one does the Christmas
Turkey? We are curious to know.
Hep
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-27
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
From the New York Press. ]

Truth runs slow race with a lie
Men groan with faces of horror
while women endure with smiles.
Children are very indulgent to be-
lieve in Santa Claus SO as to humor
their parents.
When a woman has good complex
ion herself she knows nobody else's is
genuine.
People who like to quarrel will do
it in an effort to prove to yol, that they
never do.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-27

It's all very we'll to propose law re-
stricting the number OF fish man may
catch in a day, remarks the New YoiIs
Tribune, but what the average fisher
man wants is some assurance that he
will catch any at ALL
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-27

Jose Santos Zelaya, the dehorned
president of Nicaragua is slated to Wis
1t this country in the near future.
Maybe he's going into vaudeville. But
If he does, it won't be long before he
lands on the kerosene circuit, and he
won't be a head-1iner, either
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-27

Dummy" West is not doing very
well in his chosen profession, pugilisnl.
Maybe this is due to the fact that he
can't hear the cheers of the crowd
when he gets in a good lick. Nobody
can fight very we'll without a little en-
couragement. =. ,s-.,--CT. .
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-27

They are planning to establish a
barge line on the Arkansas river. The
undertaking is a most commendable
one. But perhaps it is not out of place
to suggest that the barges also be
equipped with wheels and something
like an automobile gear. The water in
the Arkansas river gets pretty low at
times
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-27

The deep waterways enthusiasts
should amend their plans so as to 80
considerably deeper. The Mississippi
is now so low at several points that Il
is possible for man to wade across it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-27

The records of the Shawnee county
probate court show that marrying
around Christmas time is not as popu-
lar nowadays as it used to be. Per
haps the young folks and the older
ones have begun to appreciate the fact
that the Christmas season is not an
appropriate one for foisting lemons on
one another.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-27

Sympathy should go out to that
fourteen-year- Chicago girl who is
an heiress to $30,00O,OOO. She's got to
live on the paltry income of $4,000
600 until she becomes twenty one
wears old
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-27

Nor does the back to the farm move
ment appear to have made much
Roadway in Kentucky. The census fig
ures for the cities of that state show
that all of them have made material
gains in population during the past
dacade
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-27
Hieher Rank FOR ..NliddIes..

In the swapping of the sailing launch
of the battleship New Hampshire. when
SO many gallant seamen went to untiIne-
ly Deaths one lesson can be learned by
officials in Washington. The board of
inquiry has yet to make its report on the
tragedy but whatever that report may be.
the one fact that stands out prominently
is that the rank of midshipn1an in the
navy should be changed to ensign when
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-27

1t was green Christmas in these
parts all right. In fact, it could not
have been greener. And the chance
has now arrived for it being proved to
the satisfaction of every one that there
is nothing in the theory that green
Christmas is significant of a fat grave
ward.