The daily sentinel., 1910-07-29
..)abs..
By f. A. Sherman.

i By E. A. Sherman. |
Colorado City reports a shower of
ill-mannered black bugs. Probably
some of the Reno fight spectators of
Johnsonian hue out for time
Schmidt succeeds in obtaining
backing" says the Fit. Collins Review.
1t isn't the backing that's worrying
the most people-it's the filling.
So Senator Simon believes in the
open primary. In other words he
prefers to go into the open market
and make his purchases rather than
deal with the middlemen.
Since Grand Junction hens have
taken to laying cherries in their eggs.
we presume that the hen cocktail will
be the next popular drink to make
this town famous.
The twins born to DR.. and Mrs.
Moses at Colorado Springs have been
put in an Incubator HenCeforth let
us hear no more of Moses and the
bullrushes, but rather Moses and the
incubator.
The Pueblo Chieftain says the
fight-picture promoters may man
damus Chicago's mayor We have
never had a mandamus yet, that is
to our face, but perhaps our time
will come.
Factory girls driven to strike by
waltz music" announces the Boulder
Herald. We have seen the time when
we were driven to strike by some
alleged music-but il was to strike
the alleged musicians.
Hygiene in youth is essential. -
saws Miss Rausch. the domestic
science expert. Right you are. The
trouble with great many of the
youth today is they sacrifice hygiene
for highjinks.
Canon City Record makes double
column story out. of the fact that
some fellow is touring the world
without any money. Rather too much
emphasis, we think, when we con-
slider how many have been doing that
stunt since the genus tramp was dis
covered.
No, gentle reader, that sound you
have been hearing is not a neighbor
beating a carpet, nor is it a branch
boiler factory in your vicinity. II is
novelty introduced by the street car
company to attract attention TO its
luxurious coaches. The nterurban
cars are equipped with loud whistles
for the purpose, but the city cars not
having the compressed air system, the
! company has inaugurated flat
wheel speedometer." 1t not only ad-
vertises the line, but passengers, by
counting the bumps and watching
their watches, may tell Just how fast
the car is going. Pools are frequent
ly made on the speed of the car, the
winner getting the Jackpot.
LITTLE TALK ON HUMORISTS.
A humOrist is a man who succeeds
in getting joke onto an editor. HUI
morists are not numerous. They
would even be less numerous if they
were not so hard TO catch. Killing a
man who tries to tickle you to death
is justifia BILE homicide. and this right
is recognized in America, where it is
called the unwritten mother-in-law.
Humorists misspend their lives in
digging up petrified puns, which they
revive. remodel and retail. A new
tail on a joke often makes it salable,
and a new joke in tail often makes
it available.
When joke is available, the edi-
tor usually promises to pay on pub
lication That is the joker in the
acceptance, and if the humorist does
mt live until the Joke is published it
is the editors joke. So. being a hui
morist is no joke. Neither will being
joke make you humorst, though
humOrists are usually iokers.
A humorist is known by his Joking,
and good joke doesn't die Young A
good joke is an old joke made to look
like new. A new joke--well, new
Jokes are born, not made. and humor-
lists seldom have twins.-Judge.