The Washington bee., 1910-12-17

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Hewitt-Lend me a dollar. old man.
Jewett-I never lend money.
Hewitt-Give me a dollar. thez-.
New York Press
Farmer-what are you doing in my
apple tree?
Thief-Excuse me- Just fell OF g
balloon Fliegende Blatter.
Have you ever seen the prisoner at
the barY'
Yes, judge. and he can drink like q
fish. "-Harper's Weekly.
''That man has done some mighty
good things"
''Yes; l was one Of them."-Louis.
Vile Courier-Journal.
Teacher-Spring flowers bring forth
what, TOmmie?
Tommie - Umbrellas. ms'amI-Y Yon
kers Statesman.
A woman can thrill as deeply over
her preparations for housecleaning as
4 man getting ready to go fishing
New York Press.
JudgeIs that your real namsf
Prisoner (whO has been up before)-
No. yer honor it's my "pen" name
Harvard LampOon.
MissiOnary-May ask what course
you intend TO take with me?
Cannibal King-The regular one.
You'll follow the fish
Witness-I saw a man with one ere
named wilkins.
Lawyer-What was the name OF tbs
other eye?
Russian battle songs are written In
minor keys. and instead Of being bril-
liantly martial are sad, telling OF the
soldiers fate.
The population Of the earth at the
time Of Emperor Augustus was esti-
mated at 54OO0OOO. 1t is now ssti-
mated to be about 5S5.OOOOOO.
The horsepower of an engine can Ss
found by the following rule: Square
the diameter Of the cylinder and divide
by two.
Grasshoppers have neither lungs nor
gills, but air enters breathing pores
and is conveyed by tubes to all parts
OF the body.
"Are you in pain, my little manT'
asked the kind old gentleman.
mo sir" answered the boy ''ths
pains In me-"
Sadie-Say. honest now. do you like
Maggie? Pauline-WeIl, she's got 8
good heart. an she means real well,
but Sadie-Neither do I.-Exchange.
Waiter-Be careful Of the soup. gen.
tlemen. 1t is so hot that it has scald-
ed both my -MeggendorfeF
BlatteT.
MOOnshine has been found to have 8
marked effect on stammering. People
so afflicted stammer most at the full OF
the mOOn.-LOndon Scraps.
Cool as a cucumber" is correct sci
entifcalIy, for that vegetable usually
has temperature a degree less than
the surrounding atmosphere.
There are at least PA groups OF
signs used in Chinese, each group COP
tanning from to 1854 separate char
acters.
By a remarkable law OF royal eti-
quette which has existed for a number
Of years at the court Of Siam no per-
son is permitted to sleep In an apart
ment situated above that occupied by
the king A deliberate breach OF this
rule has on more than one occasion
been punished by death.
While auntie arranged the pantry
shelves her little niece handled the
spice boxes and called each spice by
name. Presently she said. "Auntie. /
can read" Can you. deat?" answered
auntie. Yes, auntie" came the reply,
but ! don't read like you do. / read
by the smeIl."-Delineator
The great editor carefully read the
aspiring contributors joke. then, look
ing up from the copy, inquired:
Where's the otherY
"Other? Why, there isn't any other"
'Um! | thought that Noah took two
of every kind into the rk."-New York
Times.
A Sunday school teacher told his pu-
pills at the end of his lesson that be
would give them a summary. A little
boy asked;
What is a summary. pleaseF
"a summary Is an abbreviated synOp-
sis Of anything" was the lucid answer,
Exchange.
From the oldest known coin, bearing
Inscription 1900 B. G.. to the latest
products Of the mint the dates. en-
blems aud inscriptions form a cOntinu-
Gus history. cOrroborating and correct
ing written history. and give US the
only lixenesses we have Of some OF the
great men Of ancient times.
There is a man in London who Is a
bit absentminded. but his pollteness
never fails him. He went TO church
last Sunday, and when the minister
said Let US pray be responded In
tones audible throughout the building
Certainly. by all means."-Londor }
Tit-Bits