The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1910-06-16
Takes a Trip
ToPIanet Mars
Professor Webb Relates His Expe-
rience in Making Trip
To Mars.

My Good Friends-I address you
as good friends because | do not see
any of my creditors in the audience
My Good Friends-I have just
returned from M ar and / have a
wonderful tale to unfold. Peary says
he has been to the North Pole, but
he cannot prove it. He did not bring
the North Pole back with him as
evidence-but | have been to Mars.
| have the evidence to prove what |
say. In the first place Mars is not
Mars at all-it is called Comeonup-
here-Comeonuphere. 1t took me
long time to master the Comeonup
here language-but am ahead of my
story.
On January 10, nineteen-hundred-
andskin' emalive l left in my airship
for Mars-but it is not Mars as said.
Before leaving | called on the Stand
ard Oil Co. and got 81 900 gallons of
gasoline for my airship. l saw Mr..
Rockefeller personally in regard to
the matter and pl a n d what /
wanted. Mr.. Rockefeller was much
interested and said to me, Walter,
I'll fix you up all right-if you have
the price," l said: Mr.. Rockefeller,
object is no expense to me and | don't
care for money-all / want is the
gasoline" He then said: Il am not
an oil dealer. lam philanthropist
| am much interested in Mars and if
you buy $1,000 gallons of gasoline
for spot cash-we don't keep books
to show you that am all right and
willing to wear paper vests in order
to help along the cause of science,
| will present your, sir, with three
and-a-half gallons of gasoline at my
own expense" / then said to Mr..
Rockefeller, that if anybody ever
said to me he was an old skintiint and
money-grubbler I'd eat him alive. y
In that event." said Mr.. Rockefel
Ter, to show my appreciation I'll have
the company do you special favor
donate you one-and- one-half gal
Ions of gasoline-something the com
pany has never done for anybody in
its history
This marv elous generosity as.
founded me, but l soon recovered
To make the trip to Comeonuphere
would require just 81, 900 gallons Of
gasoline and l did not know what te
dowith what was donated, but took
it anyway and drank it for supper
before starting on my trip.
Now, My Good Friends, ] couli
not carry 81 900 gallons of gasoline
in my airship so had to find way
| rolled it all up against Hampton
Magazine containing Peary's stor.
of his dash to the North Pole and i
felt SO ashamed of itself it became 81
small and condensed itself so beauti
fully that | could carry it all in til
cup-which / did. l put in a stool
of condensed food and at Ais a. M
| sailed away After / got up to
height of three miles things began t,
get woozy-the' air was light and
became dizzy. | put on, full spec
and pulled out my chart. The as
tronomers are all wrong about Mars
They say it is several million mile
from the Earth, but My Good Friends
it is several hundred million mile
from this little old p | a n of ours
The first thing / knew my, airshi
and / struck yacuu m-the rea
goods. The vacuum was 900, 900 90
miles across and we made it in twenty
nine seconds just Twenty-Five sec
onds by the town clock. Then W
struck the air around Mars-I mea
Comeonuphere. As soon as / reach
ed within three miles of Mars | be
gan to see things.
When l got within one mile G
Mars | saw things much more plain