The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1910-07-20

grow anything-fed by springs--hills,
valleys. lakes-got to be sold on &C.
count OF twins in the family
Not my evening for buying FARMS"
quietly interrupted MIR. Bowser.
But I've been told you were looking
FOR a farm. and | want to call your
attention to-
MIR. BowSer opened the door and
called the others attention to the stone
dog ornamenting the yard. and while
his eyes and thoughts were thus fixed
ne was left or the outside.
But 1t wasn't a week ago hat you
were hunting up advertisements OF
farms for SALE" said Mrs. Bowser.
"Oh. yes. All men run OF an tan.
gents now and them"
But I've thought you might make
. success at farming"
Il? Ha, ha. ha! Bowser, the farm!
Why. l couldn't raise a bushel of tur.
uips in ten years! l don't even know
. burdock from a bull thistle"
But awhile ago. when l said so"-
II clustered. of course. No mar
wants to be c~ontradicted by his wife.
You mustn't mind such things, but
take 'em for what they're worth"
Still Serene.
Then came the fourth ring. Mrs.
Bowser giggled and Mr.. Bowser smil.
ed. 1t was a man named johnson.
He called to say that be had a ine
new milk COW for sale cheap. Mr..
Bowser had told him three months
ago that he should want a 20 in the
spring. Here she a She was a
red cow; she had two horns and a long
tail; she had mild blue eyes; she chew.
ed her cud In the most graceful man.
ner; she never kicked; she gave either
eleven or nineteen quarts of milk a
day. the owner had forgotten which,
was going on to give incidents and
adventures in the life of that blue eyed
COW when the bland Mr.. Bowser inter-
rupted to ask:
Did you close the gate after you as
you came in"
why. | think | did,"
Better be sure. | don't want any
stray hogs to get in"
The cow man stepped out to see. and
when he returned the door vas shut
against him. He rang the bell three
times. but no one came in answer. Mr..
BowSer sat smiling and rubbing his
hands.
"But ! was thinking the other day
that If we had a cow it would save us
5000 a year." she said.
Nonsense, dear. 1t wouldn't save us
2 cents. Bottled milk at 8 cents a
quart is good enough for U.S."
"But two or three times you have
said"-
Tut. tut, no matter what I've said!
All men blow around more or less
just to make their wives think they.
know it all and to keep them in sub
lection"
but you said If we kept a pig we
could have $500 in bacon and have the
hams and lard besides"
"All moonshine. l was WOODY. 1t
would cost 500 more than to patron.
ize'the butcher"
Unmoved by FIattery.
There was one more ring. A man
called to sell Mr.. Bowser u ticket in a
church voting contest. 1t was u on
test to see who was the handsOmest
man in town. He explained, and Mr..
Bowser laughed and then leaned for
ward and whispered in his ear:
go softly out and go home. There
are times when l am dangerous! This
is one of them-when l am called
handsome"
The man looked at him and turned
pale and got out. Fifteen minutes
later Mr.. Bowser showed signs Of be-
ing sleepy, and Mrs. Bowser coaxed
him to lie down on the lounge for a
spell. He was 500 fast asleep, ard
she went to the telephone and softly
called up the family doctor. He came
and felt of the sleeper's pulse, turned
up his eyelids and laid a hand on his
heart.
"Can you tell what ails him?" asked
Mrs. Bowser.
mo. It's a puzzling case. Keep him
quiet tonight, and I'll come in early in
the morning. Queer-very queer. I
,,,,ck ru,.;%o e. n, For n n,o1ioo1 iovys-