The Holbrook news., 1910-05-13
GOOD SHORT
 STORIES
~O~NO@O-o~

Andrew Carnegie was on board a
 ferryboat at Norfolk on the day the
 President visited that port. Something
 went wrong with the compass. The
 captain appealed to the mate. The mate examined the compass and said:
 T guess it must be attracted by that steel magnate over there.'
 Mir. Kajones, who happened to step
 into the parlor while looking for a
 book. was just in time to see some body slip hastily off somebody else's knee. 'Ah, Bessie" he observed, pleasantly, this is a merger, is it? Or is it limited partnership" "Nei- ther, papa" said Bessie, recovering herself instantly George is my hold ing company-that's all"
 Recently a party of tourists were visiting the Louvre. By mistake one Of the tired number carried a cata- Iogue of the Luxembourg. Upon be- ing confronted by fantastically mod ern nude study with a black cat in the background she turned to the core spending number and complacently an- nounced to the astonished listeners: This is Whistlers mother"
 On Lord Dufferin's estate, near Bel fast, there once stood a historic ruin, a castle which had been a stronghold of the O,Neils. One day Lord Dufferin visited it with his steward, Dan Null Hgzn. and drew dine with his stick round it, telling AIulHgan that he was 10 buildsa protecting wall on that line. And then he went to India, feeling se- cure as to the preservation of the great historic building When he returned to Ireland he hastened to visit the castle. It was gone. He rubbed his eyes and looked again. Yes. gone it certainly was, leaving not trace be- hind it. He sent for Dan and in- quired: Where's the castle?' "The castle. my lord? That old thing? Sure. I pulled it down to build the wall Tid."
 Dr. S. Weir Mitchell tells with keen enjoyment of the experience of med ical friend of his who engaged nurse, recently graduated, for case of deli rum tremens The physician succeed ed in quieting the patient, and left some medicine, instructinG the nurse to administer it to him again if he began to see snakes again." At the next call the physician found the pa tient again raving. To his puzzled Inquiry the nurse replied that the man had been going on that way for sev- eral hours and that she had not given him any medicine. But didn't I tell you to give it to him, if he began to see snakes again?" demanded the phy- sician. But he didn't see snakes this time, replied the nurse confidently. He saw red, white and blue turkeys with straw hats on"
 Recently an automobilist ran down and killed hen in suburban Philadel- phia He was a conscientious auto mobilist. Instead of racing along, un- mindful of the grief of the owners of that hen, he immediately stopped, got out, . tenderly picked up the unfortu- nate fowl and rang the doorbell of the farmhouse from the vicinity of which it had emerged. A woman opened the door. "I am very sorry to inform you,' remarked the automobilist. that I have unintentionally killed this hen of yours" He held the fowl up to her view. 'Now I am quite willing to pay whatever the value" But she checked him with this joyous exclamation: ''Oh, I'm so much obliged to you. I've been trying to catch that hen for three days to cook 1t for dinner, and I never could so much as lay hand on the pesky thing. Thank you, sir; | thank you-'