New-York tribune., 1910-06-05

YOUR parents and friends, 90 not walk up 10
That She is the original Nlanslaughter-
Kindness is an unknown word to her She
poisons people by biting them on the ankle
/ beg of you, boon companion, be not a1nb1-
tious in that direction Go hoof it with
Some Gibson Girl, take a slide with the
Merry Widow, pilot Fluffy Ruffles to the
crazy corner, even dare Hedda Gabler a turn
with you on the moonlight piazza; but
avoid That 1t is Superior Woman
$50 spoke Friend Archibald, turning away
sadly; but when he again raised his eyes Susie
the Shrew was floating in the mad Hungarian
embrace of Petruchio Perkins of Prince
ton. Now and then she would sting him
with a conversational beeliner: but he would
deity untangle his feet and on with the
dance. She insulted him nine times as they
sat under the palms and eleven times more as
they strolled out by moonlight. After that
he proposed to her and they were engaged.
''Petruchio's friends came to the wedding
in no mood to Jest. When the organ struck up
that dirge from LOhengrin his college ChumS
wept and mentioned the ceremony as the
last sad rites of as good a man as ever tipped
a tankard for the Orange and Black. The
pail bearers -ushers, / nean-stOOd in de-
jected groups and discussed the good quail
ties of the groom. till the official coach drove
away with Mrs. and Mr.. Petruchio in a dis
NAL shower of rice.
1T seemed 20 be the general consensus
of opinion that it was all off with poor old
Pete. When Friend Archibald was willing to
wager that the groom would come home in
a mahogany packing case. there was nobody
with nerve enough to take away the money.
Two years passed. One bright morning
the village gOssips assembled at the railway
station; for something told them that the
time had come. The train arrived. and the
gossips stared as Petruchio. with clear eye
and firm step, staggered to the platform and
smilingly assisted his bride to alight
THANK you. Dodo, she murmured softly
as she followed him meekly to the carriage.
Did you see what | saw Did you hear
what | heard?' gaSped Friend Archibald.
That afternoon Friend Archibald called
at the hotel and asked to see the bridegroom
his is prOpitiOuS meeting, said
PetruchiO when they met. Il will have a
little Scotch
Before expressing my admiration for
YOU said Friend Archibald, let me first
explain that | have never been married.
You are forgiven at once said Pc
truchio; therefore proceed
Before YOU were married. went on Ar
Chibald. YOU walked like a microbe in her
presence. When she spoke to YOU, YOU acted
like her cOachman's idiot cousin You went
around with her heelmarB on Your collar
Say on, quoth Petruchio.
Well, resumed Archibald. here YOU
are back after two years of married life
walking at the head of the procession Susan
the Shrew (no disrespect. old chap) comes
bounding to your side when whistled for.
laps the outstretched hand, and calls YOU
Dodo. Zingl You are hypnotist
Archibald quoth Petruchio. L am no
hypnotiSt; | am an American Husband.
Susan, when first found. was Pa-fed. Ma
pampered Amuricun Curl That is 20 sav.
she was a stern and beautiful bluffer. She
threw large bluff at being the Real Amer
lean Boss. She bluffed herself into thinking
that she was the Sterucr Sex. blufTed her
into thinking that | thought So That was
my bluff. We are nation of buffers. But
what happens when two talented buffers
meet upon neutral ground? They bluff for
awhile; then they throw down their weapons
and form treaty. As soon as dropped the
bluff that was afraid of my wife she ,iroppcd
the bluff that she was my natural overscer.
And We have lived happy ever after
So Petruchio and Friend Archibald sat |
IN conversation all that nipht and ,,art ,,f III.