davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13
WHAT YE SHALL EAT"

With 4,S00, 100000 bushels OF grain
in sight in the crops OF 1910, Uncle
Sam need have little fear of starva-
ton before the crops OF 1911 are gar
nered into the nations barns.
With one exception the prospective
grain crop will be the largest on rec
Ord for the United States, according
to the government crop estimates for
September. which have just been is
sued. In 1906 we harvested a total
OF 4,S39 100000 bushels OF wheat.
corn, oats, rye and barley. In 1903
the total was 4.719.44l 900 bushels.
or chief interest-because 1T fixes
the price of the staff of life-is the
improvement in the wheat crop which
is shown by the August record. AT
the end of July the spring wheat had
been badly scorched in the northwest
and the loss In June In the north
western states had threatened to send
, bread prices soaring during the win
| ter. The August rains. however
saved much and the governments ex
perts figure that the August improve
ment added 100000 bushels to the
, prospective crop The total crop OF
21S 100000 bushels will still be more
than 72,000,000 bushels short OF las!
years.
The winter wheat crop for the year
totaled 5S,000.000 bushels, against
46,366,000 for 1909. making the total
wheat crop for 1910 just $4,000, 00C
bushels, a loss of 61.00O,0OO from last
years total
The biggest crop Of the year-as
usual--will be that of corn. or this
cereal the nations barns will hold the
stupendous total OF 1886, O0O. 900 bush
els, more than 80 bushels for each OF
us 9O.O00,000. This crop suffered a
slight loss in August, the decrease to
falling about 100000 bushels. The
biggest corn states-lllinois and Iowa
however, showed slight increases
The prospective crop in Illinois is
55.402,000 bushels, against the Au
gust estimate Of 346,914,000 bushels
in Iowa, 331,sl3.000 bushels, against
an August estimate OF 300 ,232,00
The greatest loss In the corn crop
fell to Ohio, which suffered a de.
crease OF 22,OOO,0O0 bushels for the
month. Indiana lost 5000, 900 bushels
thanks to unreasonable weather.
The oat crop will be the largest on
record The September estimate
makes II total 1.045, 100000 bushels.
and the experts say that probably
when the October figures come ont
they will exceed this amount. This
total is 38,00O,O00 in excess OF the
figures for 1909 and $4,000, 900 bush
els over the 1908 totals Here again
Illinois and Iowa are In the lead.
with yields of 6S.297 900 and 169,-
$4,000 bushels respectively. Iowa's
Improvement for August was almost
100000 bushels, while Illinois
gained 100000 bushels.
The barley crop lost about 10000
bushels in August, an almost neg
ligible decrease. for the September
estimate is 152. 100000 bushels. Last
year it was 170,2S4, 900 bushels.
The rye crop, which has been har-
vested, totaled 32,0SS,000 bushels,
against 32,239,00O bushels in 1909.
All hail to the farmer whose in
dustry thus not only feeds this ma
ton but must help to feed the hungry
peoples Of all the world!-Chicago
Inter Ocean.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13
Gems of Wit Wisdom and Humor
GRAPE-SEED.
BY GEORGE w. BUNGAY.

Dear me, how fast you write,
evcr saw your equal. And l said to
ie old mare, Go long and jerked
ne reins pretty hard; have you got
at deown?"
Yes; and / am impatiently waiting
n more. | wish you wouldn't bother
a with your letter"
Well, the old mare wouldn't stir
ut OF her tracks, and | hollered,
10 long, you old jade! go long. Have
on got that deown?"
Yes. indeed. you pestersome fell
wv; go on
And | licked her, and licked her,
nd licked her'-(continuing to repeat
hese words as rapidly as possible).
Hold on there! have written two
ages OF licked her and want the
est of tie letter"
Well, and she kicked, and she
licked, and she Kicked continuing
% repeat these words with great ra-
pidity).
do go on with your letter: have
several pages OF she kicked (The
Yankee clucks as II urging horses to
move, and continues the cluckinS
noise with rapid repetition for some
time.)
The scribe throws down his pen.
Write 1t deown! write 1t deown!"
Il can't"
well, then I won't pay you
(The scribe gathers up his papers)
What shall I do with all these sheets
upon which / have written your non
sense
"Ye may use them In doing up your
gape-seed. Goodby"
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13

the language existed, instead OF being
recent importations from the Latin,
the French or the Greek. And these
Anglo-Saxon words are, for the most
part, short and full of meaning. They
are words child learns first, the
words men do business with when
they're In hurry. the words foreign.
ers learn when they get their English
by ear, from talk, instead of acquiring
1t through the organs OF vision by per-
usal of dictionaries.
These short words are better, for
most purposes. than long ones. Thus,
plenty" is better than abundance"
suit than accommodate" gather"
than accumulate" usual" than "ac-
customed,' gain" than acquire"
farmer" than "agriculturist," help
fur than advantageous" loving"
than "affectionate"
Nearly every long word has a short
equivalent. There are "antagonize"
and oppose" apparent" and clear"
"ameliorate" and better" "appre-
hend' and seize" approximately"
and about" assistance" and aid"
"belligerent" and "warlike," attire"
and dress" "benediction" and bless
ing" "captivate" and charm
10 not permit yourself to be delud-
ed with the erroneous supposition that
resonant polysyllables constitute the
primary requisite of stylistic excel
lence
Don't think that big words make .
good style.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13

A Yankee, walking the streets c
LOn6Un, looked through a windON
upon a group OF men writing vel
rapidly, ans one of them said to hi
In an insulting manner, do you wis
to buy some gape-seed?" Passing Oh
short distance. the Yankee met
man and asked him what the bushes
Of those men was in the office he ha,
just passed. He was told that the
wrote letters dictated by others, an
transcribed all sorts OF documents; il
short, they were writer's. The Yanke
returned TO the Office and inquired
one OF the men would write q lette
for him, and was answered In the al
firmative. He asked the price anG
was told 81. After considerable talk
the bargain was made-one Of the con
ditions OF which was that the scribe
should write just what the Yankee
told him to, or he should receive nc
pay. The scribe told the Yankee he
was ready to begin, and the latter
said:
Dear marm," and then asked,
Have you got that deown?"
YES" was the reply Go on"
Il went to ride t'other day; have
you got that deown?"
Yes; 60 on, go on"
And I harnessed up the old mare
into the wagon; have you got that
deown?"
Yes, yes, long ago. Go on"
why, how fast you write! And I
got into the wagon. and sat deown
and drew up the reins, and took the
whip in my right hand; have you got
that deown?"
Yes, long ago; go on"
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13
TWO MINUTE VAUDEVILLE
6Y FRED ScHAEFER.

Thud: Well the other evening
Tuesday-it was good and dark al
ready came to your house
Slap: And | wasn't home!
Thud No you weren't at home, but
| thought you were. SO / butted right
in without ringing.
Slap: All, ha-a-a-a! Proceed"
Thud: Expecting to find you there
alone WE'LL encountered a dark
figure in the gloom and not knowing
it was your wife | walked right up to
her and seized her by the arm
Slap: Hound! And She?
Thud: She said: AT last my pray.
ers are answered, He does not smell
of whisky tonight"
Slap: Ha-ha-ha-ha! Good joke on
my wife. Ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha!
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13
BY gibson GARDNER

The Roosevelt trip to the west is
now history. AS a member OF the
party, | conclude from what l saw
and heard:
THAT Roosevelt never was strong
er In the favor of the country.
2-That Roosevelt is determined to
take an active part In the AFFAIRS OF
the nation.
3-That the leadership OF his party
must inevitably be his.
THAT his leadership will be
along progressive" lines.
5-That the Taft administration has
not been Endorsed.
6-That Taft will not receive
Roosevelt's support for second
term.
THAT the Roosevelt influence Will
be cast In favor of some progressive
candidate to succeed Taft.
S-That a popular demand will be
heard for Roosevelt himself as a can
didate.
9-That other men likely TO be con-
sidered for the Republican presiden-
tial nomination are LaFollette, Cunt
Minis, Dolliver. Pinchot, Garfield and
Beverfdge.
10-That the progressives will con-
troll the next Republican national con-
vention only after a straight-out fight
with the present reactionary members
Of the party who control the organiza.
zion.
1l-That the presidential campaign
Of 1912 already has begun.
12-That the standpat element IN
the Republican party will make de-
fensive fight, rallying to Taft and &
second term.
13-That big business will divide its
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13
BY Fred Schaefer.

BY Fred Schaefer.
Thud: Say, got confession to
make to you.
Slap oh, are you the crook who's
been swiping the mornings milk off
my front porch?
Thud: No; this is something aw-
full serious. | don't know how you'll
take IT, But | have to square myself.
Slap: Well, go ahead. But be care
full: I'm nightly quick-tempered.
Thud: know you are. But. on the
level. this was mistake, an innocent
mistake 1t concerns your family, and
that makes it all the worse. | wish
I'd died before II happened.
Slap: Tell me what 1t was. I'm get
ting nervous. What was II?
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13
Uniform.

Bobby-Honest, Is there twins al
your house?
Tommy-Honest! An they're jest
alike.
Bobby-Built jest the same way. or
are they rights and lefts?-Toledo
Blade.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13
A SAILORS HANDS.

A safoor is betrayed by his hands.
though his gait might betray him.
They are permanently half shut. Walk
ing. talking or sleeping the sailor has
his hands half shut and could not open
them fiat IL he tried. This Is the re-
suit of years of climbing and pulling
ropes.-London Chronicle.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13

& In a century the ideal hero has
cnanged a number OF times. He has
successively been hairy poet, a cav
airy lieutenant in dazzling uniform. a
broad-browed doctor and later an en-.
kineer OF genius Today the hero rs
\ portsman--who can fiy.-Cri de
Paris.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13

shaved 55 men in 80 minutes, and Is
now champion shaver He would have
gone on shaving. but he had shaved
everything in sight. The previous
shaving record was III men In an
hour.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13
No REGRETS.

Attacks upon the rich are hardly
likely to make any OF the rich feel
sorry because they have the money
Philadelphia Press.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13

Read Il backwards or forwards,
1he population OF Cincinnati, as an
Uounccd BY the census bureau. Is
1T the same. 3s4.463.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13

o'. Hs s wi"I the Republican NOMINEE FOR
MAYOR have failed to com
upon cramped shortcomings the library
placed hands this day would
doubtedly would a great relief
dollars his hands today and Mrs Owens would
probably give up present at least her china painting
good upon, work that Mr. and Mrs
NJ Owens do
TEN THOUSAND represent Mr. Owens
With his meager law practice gift handling
The able lay by in TWENTY-FIVE YEARS
represent twice the amount Mr.
years salary Of Detroit
#et 5000 year.
At any rate would represent salary position
years.
AND THAT IS THE EXACT AMOUNT BEEN OFFERED TO
WITHDRAW FROM OF THE REPUBLICAN
CITY TICKET
which he promptly and mphacay TURNED
EDowH.
may accident" and coke the Repub-
kNcm NOMINEE FOR MAYOR
utterly unqualified Republican city ticket in
eyes candidates the ticket
presence upon position which he
may sending these Republican candidates down to
should this they will have occasion ever for
feeling ashamed of their running mate.
would be exactly the to father them
different matter there might not be all that should be
way public the remains that in his
been accident the local Republican
party its ticket who stands for PRINCIPLES
which perhaps is the REAL joke
accidental for the mayoay the Republican party
locally could GOTTEN TO COME
rathy popular demands of the people Of Detroit
We have never heard of being disgrace poor
considered condemned ou from society
because he failed pass a examination in college
HAVE who didn't when
they perseverng until they reached the goal for which
they
kind whom would EXPECT
turn down an offer of TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS they step
lon the goal.
candidates seeking public Office good faith should welcome rather
than dscredt o belitle.
but do know him already
stood with regard for and appreciation the
that Office and sincere enough his ambition reach
against weight par
money
buy accept
let the newspapers who reving him for party purposes HAVE
CARE
he "oke' candidate discredited Republican admnra
ton responsible joke dsgruntd
party might make it good
Mr. Owens be the mayor the a
ty of the cs but he citizen, entitled
respect commentator that his regard
o that he would his slim and
4 Of reaching it. upon the auction block.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13

The new building of printing and
engraving being built In Washington
will cost sl,750.000.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13
Maine
Went

upon Maine
bad enough in Vermont
Hampshire and Massachusetts, Michigan this
morning the Regulars heard from MAINE.
DEMOCRATIC GOVERNOR
(For the first time in 80 years.
Two Democratic congressman elected.
M legislature of United States
Senator Hale.
Aldrich, Burrows, Hale all gone
Maine the rockrbbed the Maine of Blaine
This settle it.
Verify Taft and his best tariff bill passed. gone
done IL
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13

To die is landing on some silent
shore,
Where pillows never break, nor tenn
pests roar:
Ere well we feel the friendS stroke,
Us Ger. -. Garth.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13
], Ha! We Believe
Now We See the Joke
In Owens Candidacy

Ne 10 = Republican ofFicssssker.
Wants To BE Mayor, And He
otands For Some Thlnas
Which the People OF
Detroit Want.
Ha, Hal
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13

Much the same as the candidate who feels himself
aslipping the election returns coming and pins
his faith to the fact that the result has not yet been
ported from the strongest precinct the Old Guard waited
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13

Z Proctor X. Owens 10 q poor man.
He is not a brilliant lawyer and
his practice at the bar IL not large.
His office il small, nowhere near,
of course, as big as he would like to
have, and an addition to his library
would be welcome.
Reporters who have called upon
the Republican NOMINEE FOR
MAYOR have never failed to CON-
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-09-13
Sensational Exposure.

Customs Chief: bid you search that
man | suspected?
Customs Ofiicial The man who
acted as IL he was trying to hide
something under his coat?
Chief: Yes. What was Il?
Official: The dirt on his shirt.
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1910-11-04
MONTANA NEWS NOTES

| Messages flashed from 100 miles at
sea by the steamship Cora were caught
at Butte by Harold Satter in the wire
less station.
At the close of the Missoula city reg
istration the total shown was 3,o4S. The
county registration was $500, big in
crease over two years ago.
Five days after his death the body of
the Rev T. G.. Ahearn, Catholic
priest, Of Boulder, aged so years, was
found in room in the Chicago hotel
at Spokane Saturday.
Bert Shaughnessy, alias w. H.. Glib
son, the ex-convict captured in this
state last week and held to stand trial
for forgery, is wanted in half dozen
cities all over the northwest for the
same offense.
An attempt is being made by the
miners union at Butte to secure the
pardon of Tom Riley, Butte miner,
sentenced IL years ago to life term
for the murder of President Patrick A.
Largey of the State Savings bank.
The crowds of landseekers are i n
ereasing in number daily and the Kalis-
| pell land office force is having its hands
full supplying information. The open
ing day for fling on the last lands on
the Flathead reservation arrived No
vember l..
Two Italians, caught as they tried to
climb on the tender of an engine at
Essex, are in jail at Kalispell, and Mar
tin Wilson, railway laborer has a frac-
tured skull and broken ribs as the re-
suit of an encounter in which three
foreigners attempted TO beat Wilson at
a new tunnel near the Fielding grading
camps of the Great Northern.
Secretary w. B. Rhoades, the boosting
secretary of the Kalispen Chamber of
Commerce, recently wrote to the Mis-
soula Chamber of Commerce, challeng-
ing it to put up 81 900 to cover 81 900
(real money! which ne will put up in
support of the proposition that Kalis-
pell and the Flathead orchardists will
take more than so per cent of the prizes
offered on Mcintosh Red apples at the
National Apple show.
Mrs. Emma j. Coutts, wife of James
Fl. Coutts, met with very serious acct
dent in remarkable manner while
riding on streetcar at Butte. While
the car was running along at moder-
ate rate of speed gas pipe which had
rolled from the gutter into the street
car track went under the wheels. A
piece of pipe was hurled with great
force through the floor of the car and
through the seat near where Mrs Coutts
was sitting, striking her with great
force on the right side of the head
nearly sealping her.
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1910-11-04
QUEEN OF THE APPLE SHOW.
Miss Mary Ide Will Ascend the Throne
November IA at Third National
Apple Show, Spokane.

Miss Mary Idell Ide of Colville, a
native daughter of the state of Wash
ington, who has been chosen queen of
the third National Apple show in Spo-
kane, November IA to 10, win ascend
the throne in the state armory the even
ing of the opening day, surrounded by
a court composed of Spokane society
folk The coronation ceremonials of
the period of Louis XIV will be beauti-
full and impressive, and when Idell ]
assumes the crown and scepter the an
cient custom of swearing allegiance to
King Apple and His Royal Majesty Is
consort viii be observed by those in
attendance.
Queen Idell, accompanied by her
maids Of honor, the prime minister
councillor, courtiers, guards, pages and
heralds, will preside at the social fune-
tions in connection with the Apple
Kings annual festival and will also
hold a reception for the school children
the afternoon Of November is. The
matron and maids of honor are: Mrs.
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1910-11-04
REAR-END COLLISION
SIX men KILLED in WRECK
in WEST MINNESOTA.
Stock Train, Backing UP to Clear Track
Hit by Passenger Train-Wreck Took
Fire and Bodies of Men Burned to
Crisp-Engine Men Jumped Before
the Crash-Medical Aid Prompt.

Montevideo, Mimi, Oct. 31.-Four
kota were killed, two injured so seri-
ously that there is slight chance of
their recovery and an engineer and fire.
man badly crippled when section 4 of
the Chicago, Milwaukee & St. Paul east
bound passenger No. 6, from Butte,
Mont, crashed into the rear end of a
stock train as it was endeavoring to
back in ON the siding to let the pas
senger by, mile west of here, Sun
day.
The dead
William D. Hill, Miles City, Mont.
Thomas Hill, his son, Miles City
George Leeper, South Dakota.
j. H. Dechtee, Greenway, S. D.
Not expected to live: George Rah-
soldt, Aberdeen, S. D.; William Down
ing, Miles City, Mont.
Engineer Parker and Fireman Stick
Ter of the passenger, saw the tail lights
of the stock caboose and jumped in time
to save their lives. Both were injured,
OGOChulGu ASLEEP III OaDQOS6.
Six stockmen coming east with the
trainload of cattle were asleep in the
caboose when the passenger bore down
upon it, and four were killed outright.
Two, George Rahsoldt and William
Downing, managed to crawl through the
mass of steel and iron, more dead thar
alive. They are not expected to live.
The force of the impact shattered
the caboose, derailed the two cars of
cattle ahead of it and toppled the en-.
CINE of the, passenger over sidewise
across the track on top of the wreck.
age.
Fire started and the bodies of the
four dead men were burned to a crisp.
Two cars of cattle also were burned be-
fore the fire department from the city
got to the scene
Box cars on nearby tracks were lick
ed up by the flames, and in order to
save the passenger coaches they were
uncoupled and pushed back by passen,
gers and members of the train crew.
During the afternoon the charred re-
mains of the men burned to death were
recovered
The Montevideo fire department sue
ceeded in extingushing the flames. Doc
tors and surgeons were rushed to the
scene, and everything possible was done
for the injured, who later were removed
to this city.
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1910-11-04
Elections Novamhar q

Election of state officers, judges o.
the supreme court, railroad commission
ers, etc, will be held in ss states on
Tuesday, November 8. Maine, Vermont
Arkansas and Georgia have held Their
state elections, but the two latter states
will, Tuesday next, elect representa-
tives in congress Maryland, Mis-
sissippi, Virginia and West Virginia,
likewise, win elect congressman In
20 of the states, governors and full
state tickets are to be elected. In
nine others, justices of the supreme
court and minor officials are to be chos-
en-, while in Indiana state officers, ex-
cept governor, will be elected.
A number of the states will elect
members of the legislature The terms
of 80 United States senators expire
March 8, 1911. The legislatures OF
Alabama, Maryland and Vermont have
elected their senator's.
The sixty-seeond congress will be
elected
South Carolina and Louisiana have
each but one ticket the democratic.
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1910-11-04
the Idaho g Washington Northern t
Metaline Falls

the Idaho & Washington Northern to
Metaline Falls
Two saloons, directly opposite Weiser,
on the south side of the Snake river,
were destroyed by fire Saturday.
Civil service examination viii be held
November 26 for rural carrier at
Occur d'Alene and Meridian, Idaho.
The Pittsburg Lead Mining company,
owning the California mine, about two
miles north Of Wallace, has confessed
Judgment for $4,000 in favor of Stan
ley Easton.
Pearl Shober, the 15-year-old son of
Mrs. G. M. Shober, a widow, Of Nampa,
was accidentally shot and killed Friday
afternoon by his brother-in-law, o. p.
Trusdale of Boise.
The Occur d'Alene city land office has
received word from the secretary of the
interior, who approved the right of
way of the Spokane, Wallace & Inter
state railroad, which had been denied by
the national government on the grounds
that it segregated and damaged power
sites along the Occur d'Alene river
through the Occur d'Alene forest re-
serve.
The Lewiston -Sweetwater Land and
Water company will inaugurate an in
novation in farming operations in that
locality by working day and night
crews on blowing and orchard cultiva-
ton. The company has recently pur.
chased an s5-horsepower gasoline trac-
tion engine, with powerful headlights,
and this machine will be employed in
hauling the gang plows and eultivating
machinery.