davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
Obituary Gems,

When John Sherman Of New Haven,
preacher. mathematician, almanac
maker and father of twenty-six chill
dren, heard of the death of his good
friend Jonathan Mitchell, Harvard
pastor, he explained (after due thought
and many poetic pangs):
Here lies the darling of his time.
Mitchell expired in his prime,
Who four years short of forty-seven
Was found full ripe and plucl1ed for
heaven.
When Thomas Dudley, father of the
first American poetess. Anne Brad
street. came to his deathbed, says the
South Atlantic Quarterly, he showed
where his daughter had received her
surprising gift by composing such fare
well lines as:
Dim eyes. deaf ears, cold stomach shew
My dissolution is in view
Eleven times seven near lived have I,
And now God calls willing die.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
BOARDING IN A CUBAN HOME.
You Must Not Mention Money, but You
Pay All the Same


Pay All the Same.
In Cuba, where money is not talked
of, where no one is valued according
to his money, the need of it is never
lessless the sword hanging over every
home. Money-the lack of it is evil
dent everywhere, but the word is new
Ell mentioned, writes Kate Jordan in
the New Idea Woman's Magazine
BE sure you do not speak Of mon
ey,' the Cuban friend who had intro
duced us had said "From her cousins
brother-in-law l know the sonora ex-
this in an envelope with her full name
on it, which you know means not only
her husbands name, but all of her
own family names, which l will give
you, and leave it where she will find
it. 1t will disappear, but" said our
Cuban friend proudly and sternly, cit
will never be mentioned.''
To eat ones three meals under the
summer sky gave a holiday flavor to
what becomes habit. Our table was
set under palm on one of the gal
leries. Our first taste of the iced Or
anges Of Cuba was moment to be re-
membered. They are peeled whole
and so close that even the juicy pods
are cut into a little. A fork is stuck
into each orange, and, resting in bowl
of ice packed all night, they are in
the morning little globes of iced liquid
sweetness. They are eaten while held
up on the fork, on the pulp, the skele-
ton of the orange being left impaled
on it.
The Havana housekeeper believes in
having the cook, with the gravity of, a
prime minister, deposit the food on
the table, because to her point of view
what is meant to be hot should be
as hot as cayenne and what is meant
to be cold of a polar iciness
After the cooks triumphal bearing in
of a fish other servants are on hand to
give minor service
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
ADVANTAGE of the CrinoIine.

1.-THE crinoline," says Lady Dorothy
Nevill in her "reminiscences, twas an
odious, hideous and dangerous affair.
On one occasion I was as nearly as
possible burned to death owing to one
I was wearing catching fire, and had
I not had the presence of mind to lie
down and roll myself in rug I
should certainly have been burned to
death. Even at the time when crino-
lines were in fashion it was generally
admitted that they were monstrous
things, though some women defended
them. One of those, a silly woman,
having archly remarked that if crino-
lines had no other advantage they at
least kept men at a distance, added,
That at least you will admit is a
great bleSsing.'
Ito the men, growled an old bach
elor who was present"
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
A GEOLOGIC PHENOMENON.
Raised Beaches and Caves of the Island
of Arran

Raised Beaches and Caves of tho Island
Of Arran.
The island Of Arran is one of those
places on the west of Scotland where
the geologic phenomenon known as a
raised beach, is very apparent. All
along the coast there are evidences
that the land has been considerably
elevated at some period of the worlds
history. One of these proofs is the
presence of caves of various sizes
formed by the action Of the waves in
the past, but which are now we'll
above the present high water mark.
The farmers use some of the larger
caves as shelters for sheep in stormy
weather.
In a remote corner of the island one
of these caves has been converted into
a human habitation, where a family Of
several persons dwell in absolute Sc
clusion. Their occupation is the gath
ering Of whelks. an employment which
is said to afford but a precarious live
ihood. AS the gathering of the she'll
fish can only be done at low water and
as the fishers have no boat or other
occupation, they have ample leisure to
enjoy the pure air and bask in the sun
shine.
Except for the drip from the face of
the high rocks above. which is skill
fully diverted, the cave is absolutely
dry. The interior is shaped like tri-
angle, the floor forming the base Save
at the sides there is ample room to
stand upright and move about inside.
Besides the beds and cooking utensils,
the cave contains many articles of va
rious kinds giving the interior quite a
homelike appearance. The apology for
a fireplace is some way back from the
entrance. through which the smoke
finds its way outside. - Wide World
MAGAZINE
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
CAUGHT THE conner.
An Accident Spoiled an Ingenious
Counterfeit Passing Scheme.


Counterfeit Passing Scheme.
A case which shows the ingenuity
used in passing counterfeit coin is the
following: A tailor, who also was
very successful coiner, had a little
daughter who was some ten years old.
She was being taught to play the vio-
lin, and twice week she went to have
music lesson at house about mile
distant. Once a week the innocent
little thing carried besides her violin
case and violin package cunningly
secreted in the false bottom of the VIC
lin case, which contained some twenty
or more pieces Of counterfeit coin.
The music master, rogue who was
in the know, found no difficulty in alb
stracting the package unnoticed by the
child and in his turn passed it on to a
woman fence" who again gave it to
male friend, who delivered it safely
to the "utterer," a woman again, at a
street corner, the package being this
time concealed in the false bottom of
a canary cage. Thus it passed through
six hands,, and besides the man him
self only the music master knew who
manufactured the coin.
The tailor was caught by an acct
dent. His little girl let the violin case
fall in the street, the bottom of the
case was smashed, and all the COINS
done up in tissue paper, fell into the
street. The child, much mysti6ed,
opened one of the little packages, and
the glitter caught a policeman's eye
This mishap led to the instant arrest
of the tailor, who confessed, hoping
for light sentence, hope which was
not realized. Among the coiner's
stock in trade were discovered two
works on chemistry, fourteen molds,
two batteries, plaster of paris, two la
dies, melting pot, crucibles and
quantity of chemicals.-London Tele-
graph.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
CURIOUS BLUNDERS.
The Anachronisms That Crowded a
Once Famous Poem.


Once Famous Poem.
The medieval romances are full of
plumbers. making contemporaries of
men who were separated sometimes
by hundreds, sometimes by thousands,
OF years, but as historical criticism
had not then a being and the general
information of the age was not su-
perior in any particular to that Of the
novelist their plans do not amount to
much from a literary point of view.
Such an instance is the case Of Arios-
to, who might be supposed to know
something at least Of the truth of his
tory, but whose once famous poem,
"Orlando Furioso," is a tissue of his
torical absurdities from beginning to
end.
In this poem Charlemagne and his
peers are joined by Edward I. of Eng
land, Richard, earl Of Warwick; Clar-
ence and the Dukes of York and
Gloucester; cannon are employed hun
dreds Of years before the time Of
Monk Schwartz, and the Moors are
represented as established in Spain in
spite of the historic fact that 300 years
elapsed after the death of Charlie
magne before they crossed from Afri-
ca. In one place Prester John. who
lived 400 years after Charlemagne,
and Constantine the Great, who died
five centuries before him. are intro
duced and hold familiar converse with
the great Charles, while in another
Saladin and Edward the Confessor are
joined by the Black Prince.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
A Tale of "Tippino"

To tip or not to tip the person who
but does his or her duty is a question
recalling an incident set down in Wal
poles "reminiscences of how a king once
unwillingly encouraged the CUSTOM
''This is strange country comment
ed George I. ''The first morning after
my arrival at st. James I looked out
of the window and saw a park with
walls. canal. ETC.. which they told me
were mine. The next day Lord Chef
wynd, the ranger of my park, sent me
brace of carp out of my canal, and
1 was told that I must give 5 guineas
to Lord Chetwynd's servant for bring
ing me my own carp out Of my own
canal in my own park!'
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
THE FAT GODDESS.
A Picture That Jared the Nerves Of 4
French Art Patron

M. Durand, French picture buyer
OF a century ago, had little wisdom
as a critic. and his ambition, COM
pounded equally of childlike vanity
and genuine benevolence, was to figure
as patron of youthful genius.
One of the earliest commissions he
bestowed was upon young artist who
selected for his subject a scene of
classic mythology, in which the as
sembled gods were depicted upon
Mount Olympus. When it was finish
ed NJ. Durand was invited to the studio
to inspect it. His face clouded as he
gazed.
"Young man, he declared, you have
not treated me fairly. It is true I do
not pretend to know everything about
art, but I am not fool, and I know
that gods and goddesses should be no
less noble than kings and queens
These people of yours are not even
aristocrats! Madame, my wife, does
not pretend to be fine lady, yet when
I put my two hands around her waist
1t is by an inch only that they fail to
meet, and as for Jullettte, my daugh-
ter, she is as slender as a needle. Look
now at that big, clumsy woman in a
loose gown who you say is queen
among the gods! She has no figure at
all. She is all the way down the same.
Pouf! Call her lady and a goddess
she who is without stays and without
waist! Nine. and Mile. Durand would
make mock of her, your Juno! Pouf!
She is peasant, a pillow, pigu'
Nevertheless he was convinced by
infinitely tactful explanations that the
wasp waist was unknown in classic
antiquity, even to goddesses It was
with proud complacence that he finally
accepted the picture and the knowl-
edge that the sovereign lady of Mount
Olympus had never attained the heroic
compression achieved by Nine. and
Mile. Durand
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
WILLING TO LEND.
Only Her Husband, the Mean Thing,
Had Punched Her Wad!


Men have something to learn from
women in the art Of warding off
"touchers" for coin. Women respond
to such requests once in about every
thousand cases. but they are scientific
in their refusals. A Cleveland woman
with a reputation as borrower
turned up at the home Of one of her
friends the other morning with a much
done over story about a persistent and
threatening dressmaker and the usual
request for the loan-"pay it back to-
morrow, certain''-of SIS.
why, my dear. certainly" was the
pleasant response to her carefully re-
hearsed little yarn, you poor thing,
you! Just wait till run upstairs and
get my purse"
She ran upstairs. The male head of
the house happened to be in the room
where she kept her purse. He saw her
dig the purse out of chiffonier draw
er and deliberately remove a wad of
bills from it, leaving about 81 cents
in silver and copper in the change
receptacle. The man was mean enough
to lean over the stair railing when
his wife went downstairs to the par
lor with her flattened pocketbook in
her hand.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, dearie," he heard
her say, "but I really thought I had
the money. 1 find, though, that Frank,
as usual, has been at my purse-I
heard him say something about set
Ting plumbers bill last night when
L was half asleep-and the mean thing
has left me only enough for car fare.
Too bad! Of course, you know, if
had it"-and so on.-Cleveland Plain
Dealer
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
A Mean Trick

Being anxious as to his prospects
one of his early attempts to enter par
lament, Herbert Samuel consulted his
agent, who said the chances were not
rosy. because he was "carpetbag-
GER
Mr.. Samuel thereupon promised to
live in the division if he were success
full, and bills were Immediately posted
that "if Herbert Samuel is returned
next Tuesday he will come to live
here"
Some of the other side however,
posted one of these bills on pigsty.
Mr.. Samuel did not win the election.
London Telegraph.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
LIKED THE FRYING PANS.
indians Found an Exciting Use For tho
Cookinu' Utensils.

Cooking Utensils.
The Indian, however averse he may
be to any kind Of useful labor, is not
slow to avail himself of new source
of amusement. This was shown some
years ago when among the supplies
sent by the government to a certain
agency in the west were several hun
dred large frying pans with long han
dies.
These the Indian agent found in
stock when he took possession, and at
the end of the year the number had
not been diminished. Thinking that
perhaps he had not discharged his
whole duty in the matter Of supplying
Uncle Sans wards with these culinary
utensils, the agent began making spe-
cial efforts to induce the red men to
use them.
At first it was hard work, but by the
time he had given out about two dozen
there came a sudden change. Not a
day passed in which the agent did not
have applications for at least a dozen,
and some days he disposed of twice
that number.
When the supply was nearly ex-
hausted he noticed among the appli-
cants some to whom he had previous
~ given pans. and naturally enough he
became a trifle2 curious to know what
use they were making Of them. He
questioned several of the men to no
purpose, but at length a young buck
more communicative than the rest gave
him to understand that if he would
visit a certain part Of the reservation
not far away he would find his in
quiry answered.
The next day, therefore, the agent
rode out in the direction indicated.
About two miles from the agency he
noticed on the crest Of a narrow spur
of the mountain three or four Indians
who suddenly disappeared on the op-
posite side vt the ridge. At the same
time he heard family the cry of many
voices.
On turning the point of the ridge he
saw a crowd of several hundred In
dams who were shouting as if greatly
excited. He noticed also several OBJ
jects, which he at first supposed to be
powders, descending the side of the
mountain toward them with tremen-
dous rapidity.
Instead of fleeing from these moving
objects the Indians simply applauded
and shouted. Soon he saw other OBJ
jects like the first descending, and in
short time the whole situation was
plain to him.
Having selected long, smooth slope
of the mountain where there were no
stones, the Indians had converted it
into a sort of earthen toboggan slide
and were utilizing the frying pans as
toboggans. Seating themselves in the
pans, they grasped the handles with
both hands; then, crossing their legs
over their arms, they went spinning
down the slide with great rapidity.
The agent let them have the few pans
that remained in the storehouse, but
did not order a new supply.-Harper's
Weekly.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
Stories of the Gravediuoers.

Grimly humorous is the tale of the
Scottish gravedigger who complained
that he did not get constant work.
|'BUt, George said the minister. eff
you were to be constantly employed in
the duties of the Office you would soon
bury the whole parish
''That MIGHT be, sir. but hoo am to
keep wife and family unless T get
regular work? Deed sir. I havena
buried a levin soul for the last six
weeks
Harder still was the case of another
'gravedigger who was asked to reduce
his fee for digging a grave because,
mind We, James. she was an auld wo-
man and was Sair spent
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
HENTY AS AN INVENTOR.
The Authors Reversible Boat That
Was Halfway Success.

The Authors Reversible Boat That
Was Halfway Success.
George Henty, the author Of boys
stories, is described in "Sixty Years
In the Wilderness by Henry w. Lucy,
as the warmest hearted, shortest tenn
pered man in the world.
Before he found his true vocation
in writing boys books Henty tried
various methods of supplementing his
salary on the Standard. One was the
recovery Of tin from broken or disused
utensils. For some months his study
was filed with bad smell and scraps
of broken tin. The smell was engen-
dered by efforts to melt off the tin
from the baser metal with the assist
ance Of a chemical compound invent
ed by the operator.
'"The next thing that attracted Hen
tvs attention and filled him with hope
of fortune was the building of re-
versible boat, bound to right itself au-
tomatically. He took rooms up the
river and, with some assistance from
a village mechanic, built his boat. To
certain extent it proved an unquali-
fed success. At the slightest well d.
rected touch, sometimes without it, it
would turn over, keel uppermost, with
Henty in the river. Righting itself
was, as the French say, another pair
of sleeves
Through some anxious weeks he
was frequently ANONYMOUSLY rescued
by a passing boat and walked home,
oozing water from pockets and boots
In the end his landlady gave him no.
tice that she could not be always mop
ping up after him. I fancy he gladly
seized this opportunity of retiring
from the boat building business
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
Still Wonderinq.

The deaf man got out of the tram
car on to the other line Of rails.
"Look out! There's a car coming!'
cried the conductor.
"What?" said the deaf man.
"There's car coming.'
"What?"
Just then the car caught and knock
ed down the deaf man. and as he pick
ed himself up he said:
II wonder what that fool kept me
there talking aboutv'-London Mail.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
CITY Streets.

DR.. Johnson would have said wise
thing had he said what somebody said
later for him-"Come. let us take a
walk down Fleet street." It sounds
commonplace. but often a common
place is concentrated wisdom, and that
is how in our careless day master
Of the commonplace gets to be regard.
ed as an oracle. If you want to under
stand people just do take a walk
many walks-in their great highways
of traffc.-James Mile in FOrtnightly
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
Got 1t Exact.

"Why is it that the butcher always
sends me more meat than order, nev-
er by any chance less?" complained a
young housekeeper to her husband.
LET me give him an order" said he.
and, stepping to the telephone. he call
ed up the market 5.'-
Send me two pounds Of porter
house," he ordered, "and, say. if you
can't cut two pounds make it a pound
and half
He got the two pounds by the next
delivery.-New York Sun.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
MALAY Houses.

Malay houses are invariably built on
posts so as to raise the floor from four
to six feet above the ground The
floor is composed of bamboo, with in
terstices between Stats. the earth be-
meath becoming the receptacle of the
drainage of the establishment The
universal plan of the we'll to do ma
tives is to build the house in two di.
visions. the front one for receiving Wis
itors and lounging generally. while the
rear portion is reserved for the wom-
en- and children.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
Taking His Medicine.

He found his hair was leaving the
top of his head and took his barber to
task about it.
you sold me two bottles of stuff to
make this hair grow
1T is very strange it won't grow
again." interrupted the barber. II
can't understand it,
well, look here" said the man, Il
don't mind drinking another bottle,
but this must be the last."- Wesleyan
Christian Advocate.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
A Puzzle,

"That is a puzzle,' said a novelist
at dinner in New York. Eyes, that
is as much a puzzle as Mrs Malaprop's
definition of naivete.
"Mrs. Malaprop and gentleman
were discussing beautiful young lady
poet. The gentleman said:
"'What I regard as the most con-
spicuous thing about her is her mai
vete.'
EYES, said Mrs. Malaprop; Il Won
der what made her get such a tight
one "-Washington Star.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
A Straiaht Tin.

Say" growled the first hobo, 'why
didn't yer go ter dat big house an git
a handout?"
why, l started ter" replied the 9th
er, but minister lookin' guy gimme
tip not ter. He SEE: Turn from yer
present path. Ye're goin' ter de dogs -
Philadelphia Press.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
Faithful Woman,

l tell you that women, as rule, are
more faithful than men-ten times
more faithful. I never saw man
pursue his wife into the very ditch and
dust Of degradation and take her in
his arms. never saw man stand at
the shore where she was wrecked,
waiting for the waves to bring back
her corpse to his arms, but have seen
a woman with her white arms lift a
man from the mire of degradation and
hold him to her bosom as II he were
an angel.-Ingersoll.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
Great Prospects.

I'm at the end of my rope! Every
resource have is gone. and I'm broke
at last
Have you borrowed all you CAM"
borrowed? No; ] haven't tried
that
AND you say you are at the end of
your rope. Why, man, you haven't
even startedr'-Toledo Blade.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
A Fearsome Order.

She-Dear me. l hope the man at
the next table is not a fighter, but his
order sounds like it! He-What was
it? She-He told the waiter to bring
him club sandwich and something to
drink with Il stick in it.-Baltimore
American.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
Just the Opposite.

An 1rishman at fair got poked in
the eye with stick and took proceed
1ngs against the offender.
Said the magistrate, "Come, now.
you don't really believe he meant to
put your eye OUT
Faith. you're right this time," said
Pat, "for believe he tried to put it
farther in."-London Tit-Bits.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
The Moral Stimulus Of Good cIothe..

The Moral Stimulus of Good Clothes.
Men grow in self respect as they
wear good clothes. Their clothes earn
them the approval Of their fellows.
In turn they are forced to grow to fill
the measure of good opinion, so that,
forced forward by the clothes he
wears, men attain to their highest
pability.--Sartorial Art Journal.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
A Thorough Optimist.

you are an OPTIMISM
Il am replied Mr.. Dustin Stax. 81
not only hope for the best, but l make
practical arrangements to get it,
Washington Star.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
The Old Story.

did Hardlucke bear his misfortup.
like man,
Exactly like one. He blamed it n.
on his wife Judge. rs as
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
Her Words.

His Sister - And did she say she
loved you in so many words? Her
Brother That's what! Her words dlled
twenty seven pages Chicago News.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
True.

An Irishman on applying for relief
and being told to work for a living re-
piled, IF l had all the work in the
world couldn't do it."
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1910-11-17
Wanted Particulars.

Motorton Senior-You kept the car out
rather late last evening, son. What
delayed you? Motorton Junior-Had
blowout, dead. Motorton Senior-H'm,
Tire or roadhouse?-Puck.