The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1910-01-08
WOMEN, BEWARE
DANISH THE RAT
.ORbEC0MEbALD!
AUSTIN SAYS so
AND HE'S A SCALP SPECIALIST
-WOEFUL TALEBEARER SCAT
TIERS SEEDS OF KNOWLEDGE
AT THE BALTIMORE.

The Kansas City Sun of recent date
contained the following:
Madam, if you will not consent to
be ratless, you will soon be bald.
That is to say, if not you yourself,
your daughter or your granddaughter
will appear at social functions, with
pate shining and smooth.
OF course, in hundred years or so,
it is possible that this will be quite
the proper and fashionable thing, and
nobody will mind it except the few
woods villages, who will refuse to give
Years day, 1910, the prophecy sounds
cold and cherries.
1t is Professor J. H. Austin, noted
scalp specialist of Chicago, who has
sounded the warning. And he did ii
last night. AS the professor sat in
the lobby of the Baltimore hotel and
watched the throngs of gaily dressed
| men and women who were bidding the
| old year merry adieu, he heaved a
great sigh.
Oh You Melancholy One!
Whence all this melancholy" ask
ed one Of the merrymakers.
ALAS. l can't help feeling grieveo
whenever look at the magnificent
coiffures,'' he lnnurmured. And to
think that in 100 years from now
their like will have disappeared from
the world forever!"
| Like the wedding guest in the poem
the merrymaker could not choose but
stay. The professor fixed him with his
eye, and continued in a slow, minol
cadence. IA
Its the rats which are to blame
Little think they, those fair DANES
that they are nursing in their head
dress viper that shall sting them sc
cruelty. Yet, at this very moment
while their victims are looking upor
the world with laughing eyes and find
| ing that it is good, the deadly rats re
| lentlessly are at their work Of slow
but certain destruction"
"Is it really so bad as that?" said
the merrymaker, who had begun al
ready to feel the spell Of sadness.
Such Astounding Fact.
| Just that bad! The women of the
United States are certainly plungins
down the abyss of bald Medicines
Every rat or artificial curl or puff car
ries around with it it's own army Of
bacteria. 1t is breeding place fol
every sort of germ that makes war
fare against the skin. Not only that
but the heat and dead weight of the
rat itself causes a constant Irritation
and a fevered condition that ultimate
ly will result in the death of the hail
roots. And, alas, it is not only the
women who are losing their hair witt
increasing rapidity. There are more
bald headed men in the world now
than ever before"
"Oh, professor, say not SOL"
1T Is the lugubrious, naked truth
can induce the hair to grow again.
"But the men don't wear rats!"
mo, but they go to the barber shol
struments that are alive with deadl,
bacillus dometopus, or the dreaded
parasite, eatums alivis. And speaking
Of bacilli, wouldst see my menagerie.
| His Menagerie Wonder.
The merrymaker said he wouldst
lWhereupon Professor Austin produced
a compound microscope and a few
slides. The guest looked into tn,
| pIopel peep nOle. "A lOHS, IlZdTu-llh
reptile, with scarlet gills, pink eye
brows, six legs, stood leering at him
licking its chops, and smiling a ghoul
ish smile.
why, I've only had three New Yea
cocktails. can it be that" exclaimet
the merrymaker, starting back.
NO." said the professor with a wal
smile. THAT is only the dingbatu
kerplatus. You don't need to sign tn
pledge yet. I don't doubt you hav
millions just like him. But he is com
paratively harmless. 1t will take hin
fully twenty years to make you bald
Now, let me show you the pie-eye,
dodorus, or the shell-back haironimouS
l have here a beautiful specimen O
the laughing hottimeus, that prey
only on blondes, and of the"
But the merrymaker had fed. Pre
\ fessor Austin slowly put away his mt
nagerie, and fell into a profoun
reverie, as he contemplated the gol
geous head dress of a debutante VIII
had just entered the hotel.