davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06
Judqes' Wigs.

The wig is only worn by English
barristers to give them a stern, judi
cial appearance. and no N can say
that it fails in this respect. The GUS
ton was originated by a French
Judge in the seventeenth century
when. happening to don a marquis
wig one day, he found it gave him
such a stern and digniied appearance
that he decided to get one for himself
and wear 1t at all times In court.
This he did, and the result was so
satisfactory from a legal point OF
view, that not only judges, but bar
~risters, also took up the custom
throughout Europe.
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06

urd rocame q comDostor Later he served as a newspaper reporter.
From May, 1861, until June, 1864, he was a officer OF the entysev
pennsylvania regiment. After the wal he resumed newspaper IN fhha
de,nhia until 1879 when he became night editor Of the National Republican,
in This city. In 1874 he established a connection with tn or lime
and the PHILADELPHIA Ledger as their correspondent In Washington
In 1877 he became chief of the Philadelphia Times bureau, and remained
IN that rostion until 1882, when he again became the manager of the Phha'
do,nbio 7 edper bureau. which position he held until the consolidation of h
two amer in 1902. when he became chief of the Washington bureau.
When William D. Kelley was chairman of the ways nj means commit
,oo If no house of representatives, Major Carson was Its clerk, and IN tina
nostion assisted in the formation of the tariff bill of 1888 and the Mckinley
bill of 1890. -,
His reputation is national and the esteem and regard in which he Is held
is deep and wide.
Aihertus n Baldwin, who succeeded Major Carson as chief OF the bureau
us nufactur is a native Of Connecticut, an artist ots ON ability, ana nr'
merlyw as connected with the bureau of fisheries. His experience IND vau-
.ble services secured him the appointment of chief clerk of the census a fe"
months ago from which place he was promoted to be chief clerk or tn e.
nortment Of commerce and labor, vice Theodore L. Weed, who was made
thief clerk of the postoMce department.
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06
Merely a Prevaricator.

A doctor relates the following story:
81 had a patient who was very i'll and
who ought to have gone to a warmer
climate so | resolved to try what hyp-
nOtism would do for him. | had a
large sun painted on the ceiling OF his
room and by suggestion induced him
to think it was the SUI which would
cure him. The ruse succeeded, and
he was getting better rapidly when
one day on my arrival | found he was
dead"
Did it fail, after all, them asked
one of the doctors hearers.
NO." replied the doctor, he died
of sunstroke."
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06
The Dentists Joke.

At a recent dinner of the Authors
club in London to Mr.. Owen Seaman,
the editor of Punch, Mr.. Walter
Emanuel, another member of the staff
of Punch. referred to the fact that the
man with the largest sense of humor
he had ever struck was an Engllshman
"a dentist. He went to him after SUI
fering long with a toothache. He re-
fused to have gas, and the dentist
pulled out a tooth, leaving him with
ing in pain, and took the tooth to the
window, where he laughed quite heart
lily. He groaned: whats the joker
Wrong TOOTH" said the dentist.
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06
He Knew the Kind.

Little Edward, aged four, was an
only child. He was anxious for a
baby sister, and was talking OF 1t one
day with a friend of the family. In
The friends family was a baby girl OF
n year. The lady said: Edward,
you may have my baby; she Is pretty
and sweet"
"Oh," said Edward, 81 don't want an
old baby. | want a bran new M will
nofin on but tacum powder.'-Red
Hen.
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06
Yes, Indeed.

Hostess Cat party)-Why, so silent
Miss De Muir? You've scarcely salo
a word since you came.
Youthful Guestl-I}eally, Mrs. Lead
or. am having a very enjoyable time
but my father has told me 100 times
never to say anything unless have
something to say, and | suppose
Hostess-But. my dear child, thlnt
what a stupid and tiresome thing SO
cietv would be if everybody FOLLOWED
that advice.
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06
Wife and Country.

Paul d. Cavath, the noted New
York lawyer, said at a luncheon at the
LAWYERS club: Vacation time is
here, and already that dreadful song
about the wife gone to the country
is being resurrected. But a variant
to the song was furnished by a con
yersation | overheard the other night,
"'Hello, Smith, said one man to
another. I'm glad to see you back
at the club again, old fellow. Wife
off to the country Ell"
"'No,' growled Smith. She's got
back"
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06
The Ready Theorist.

You see," explained the scientist
"house flies are dangerous because
they carry germs on their feet
"Ah." exclaimed the ready theorlst;
then the remedy is simple. All you
need TO do is to make them wear over
shoes and leave them on the porch
when they come IN.
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06
A Queer Case.

when are they to be married?"
"She doesn't know. She is worried
because she is not quite sure of her.
SELF"
That's a new one on me. | thought
a girl worried when she wasn't quite
sure of the man."
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06
Mlsplaced Reticence.

ut was a great mistake sighed the
man who was sued for breach OF
promise.
What do you mean?'
81 used a nom de plume in my 1T
erary work instead of Disgusting my
Identity in my love letters
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06

until was a mere shade" OF my
former self and too weak TO stano
more than a few minutes at a time
NV rest was broken and my nervous
system shattered. Had Doan's Ma.
new Pills not come to my attention. l
firmly believe I would be IN my grave;
They cured me after doctors hao
failed"
Remember the name-Doan's.
For sale by all dealers. 90 cents d
O Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo,
n. Y.
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06
c,rrvinn His Audience With Him.

Carrying Hts Huu'e''ee WV" ~"
Nobody was more witty or more bit
ter than Lord Peterborough. A young
lawyer, trembling with fear, rose 10
make his first speech, and began: my
lord, my unfortunate client My
lord. nv unfortunate client MY
lord" Go on, sir, go on said Lord
Peterborough, las far as you nave
proceeded hitherto the court Is entire
ly with you"
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06

work, colds, strains,
etc, weaken the kid
neys and the whole
body suffers. Don't
neglect the slightest
kidney ailment. Be
gin using Doan's
Kidney Pills at once,
They are especially
for sick kidneys.
Mrs. George La
joie, 162 w. Gamble
St, Caro-, Mich, says:
II had lost In flesh
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06
A Real Armament.

They were talking about arguments,
not in the abstract, but as applying
to domestic happiness. what do you
think is the most unanswerable ar
gument you ever heard?' II bach
elOr asked a married man.
That's very easy" he replied.
when your wife says: If they can
afford it, we can there is no flaw in
that-and never will be.'-YOuth's
Companion.
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06
In the Niuht School.

Teacher (of night schooD-What do
you understand by the terms life
~sentence?" Give an example OF one.
Shaggy-Haired Pupil pronounced
YOU husband and wife.-Chicago Trib-
une.
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06

inside" IS an expressive phrase puts 1t, the proposed homlna'on u 10y" o
Wilson, so Tar as the press dispatches have reported IT., ma re d po'o'" a
NJ, mild curiosity II is said In the dispatches that Doctor wilson hS oe"
told no car have the nomination. by "a dozen or more prominent It" 'e'se'
Democrats at the Lawyers club in Manhattan A previous Spa'.n n' - 80
the public that Doctor Wilson is to be tn DemoclatN 'anuu"e ~"
president Of the United States in 1912, IF a combination OF al s'ee. WV
poltical interests can make him so" In both announcements mere - n '
n IN wishes or the feelings of the great common people "o are
supposed to compose the Democratic party. let ne elecen " 80
Wilson very possibly may meet the enthusiastic approval OF Tue 'o'e'' !. NN
Democratic party when the question of fitness Is ohsldele d..
President Wilson's strongest. interests, 1t is SAID y 'hoSe ~ n"" -"
we'll are in government and politics. This, perhaps Is ha'ura' " hin as
virpinian. fol that commonwealth has been the mother o sta'eSnAeh s' 'N
foundaion of the republic. In college debates and essays Re Il" n' Gu,
aarlv He learned early also the value of being a good puphH speaker. aU
oOci1uouslv nractsed until he became a ready debater and an accomphsneo
orator Later he learned to speak with grace and huency N poStl'a"u'1
occasions.
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06
Literary Note.

DO you think that poets should
never marry?'
~ don't know about that. But they
should be very careful about compos'
ing love letters unless they intend to-.
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06

ROOFING. $500 Per Sqnnre-Complete
With Nails and Cement for Laps packed
inside each roll. Our Duck Brand IS a
rubber and asphalt roofing of splendid
quality for barns, chicken houses, cabins.
etc. Cheapest and best on market: we
also handle Galvanized Rootings, Tanks
and General Supplies. Pidgeon-Thomas
Iron Co. THE Roofing Folks" 81, SO n.
Cd St., Memphis. Send this ad with order.
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06
WHO: AND WIN
1872 " s ~ 2
DIR. WILSON FOR GOVERlVOT

That the scholar in politics IS to be a FACTOR III
American public life has been propheSleu' anu
10 some degree ~cXcmpllliet, Tor SeVeral years
But for the first time in the history or the repuo'
lie the head of a leading university mas peen w.
fercd the nomination Cor governor OF a state anu
has signitied his willingness 10 become 'he caho'
date. ,
Woodrow Wilson, president OF princeton un'
yersity, Is both a scholar and a pollnclah' III ue
higher sense Of the latter word lie KNOWS ~
not only from books, but he has been a practls'nt
LAWYER, and in various ways has come more III,
touch with the great public OF WORKING men a"'
women. probably, than any other head OF an Amer
lean institution Of learning.
To tho observer of politics who Is not on the
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06
Is FATHER OF AVA TON

The real father Of aviation Is octave 'hahute'
an engineer Of distinction. VINO Is no" III rams
after having submitted TO a serious operatlon' nc
has had an interesting career. Born IN fat's III
1892, he came to this country Win MS la'he' III
1899 and studied engineering. Ills nrst anu 'ne
most important appointment that ne ever received
was that of chief engineer Ct the Elevated na''
road Company of New York, founded IN 1900
Mr.. Chanute drew up the plans OF the ialous
e~levateds up Third, Sixth and Ninth avenues
which, at their opening to trafhc IN lo'o' were 20
sidernd maryels of engineering skill, and which
for the last So years, have been OF lncalculao',
advantage to the uptown population or New lorf
city. This vast enterprise TOOK up all Ills '"'
for ten years.
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06
At Rehearsal.

Fan-What happens when the bases
are full?
Mana discord.-Stanford Univer-
sity Chaparral.
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06
AN INSURANCE EXCEPTION.

"Now," said the chronic quoter, a
man is known by the company he
keeps
Say. I'm an insurance policy hold
er, Please don't class me with the
company | keep"
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06

BY a patient loving endurance OF
are we preparing our
selves gradually for the discipline OF
-, NJ G%Onlburn.
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06
MAJ. CARSON GOES ABROAD

Maj. John NJ. Carson. chief OF the bureau OF
manufactures of the department Of m and
labor, who has been selected to go abroad to look
into the general trade conditions and opportuhl.
ties for American manufactures, up to the time OF
his appointment as chief of the bureau OF manu-
features in 1902 by President Roosevelt, was one
of the ablest newspaper men Of the Washington
contingent and chief Of the Washington bureau.
created after the consolidation of the philadelphia
Times and the Philadelphia Ledger.
He was the first president and one Of the
founders of the Gridiron club and again its presi.
dent in 1905. He is also a member of the Army
and Navy club and the Military Order of the 10y.
al Legion. He began his newspaper career as a
devil" In a printing office in his teens and after
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06

Tips you get are almost as worth
less as those you give.
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06

pr, Pierce's Pellets, small, sugar-coated, easy .
take as candy, regulate ana lh''soi"'o '''"
liver and bowels. DO not grippe.
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06
Undoubtedly Bad.

Undoubtedly Bad.
Mary Mild-Wouldn't you call her q
-ah, doubtful character?
Carrie Caustique-NOt unless you
wanted to give her the benefit OF the
doubt.-Smart Set.
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06
Hedging.

TCUyVT9
Clergyman-Will you take this wom-
an until death?
Prospective BridegroOm-lsnt there
n minimum sentence?
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06

Many a budding genius has devel-
oped into a blooming idiot.
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06
WEAK KIDNEYS WEAKEN
TIE WHOLE BODY.

No chain is stronger than its weak
osf link. No man is stronger tlan
MIC EidnpVS Over
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06

A nagging wife makes her husband
forget his other troubles.
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06

Mrs. winslow's Soothing Syrup.
For children teething, softenst the gums, reduccsin.
@tammatioD allays pain cures wind colo. Sca bottle
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06

account of his own accomplishments in military organization Il was planned
to take the Brazilian to West Point and Annapolis to inspect the army and
navy schools.
It was expected, when the plans we're made, that the conferences to be
had with President Taft and Secretary Knox would be fruitful of much good
hcarinc o. the relations between Brazil and the United States, and it was
hoped in diplomatic circles that they would result in the United States having
as a powerful ally in South American affairs, the republic of Brazil
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06
Memphis Directory
Millions Say So

When millions of people use tor
medicine it proves its merit:
People WHO know CASCARETo'
value buy over a million boxes a
month. It's the biggest seller be-
cause it is the best bowel and liver
medicine ever made. No matter
what you're using, just try CAS-
CARETS onee-you'll See. M7
CASCARETS loo. a box for a weeks
treatment, all druggists. Biggest seller
In tho world, Million boxes a month.
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06
to Mother

Examine carefully every bottle OF
CASTORIA. a safe and sure remedy Tor
infants and children, and see that 1t
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06
RRAZL'S PRESIDENT HERE

The visit of President-Elect Hermes Fonesca OF
Brazil to this country affords an opportunity, &C.
cording to American diplomats, for solitlfying the
friendly relations now existing between the two
countries.
The program for his entertainment, as ar
ranged by Charge d'Affaires Silva OF the Brazilian
embassy in Washington and representatives of the
state department, included a visit to Beverly, the
summer nome Of President Taft and to Valley
Forge, Pa, the summer home OF Secretary or
State Knox. Receptions in honor of the distin-
guished visitor were placed on the program for
New York, Philadelphia, Boston, Chicago, Wash
ington and Pittsburg.
1t was the desire of the nations guest to study
the enterprises of these and other big cities. On
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06

Old Lady-What are you crying
about, my little man?
kid-NOthin'.
Old Lady-Nothin'
kid-Yes. Ne teacher asst me what
was dom an told her nOtfin, and
she said | ought a been dom sumthln'
an give me a liCkln.
Lower coast gazette., 1910-08-06

In Use For Over 80 Years.
The Kind You Have Always Bought.
The Detroit times., 1910-06-07
THE PLAY CONGRESS

This stamp cannot carry a letter.
but every letter can carry it--and
should. II Is playground stamp. and
was devised to help the cause OF
children's Fairgrounds. The smiling
face OF the happy boy Is the best ad'
yertisement or the movement.
The little boy In the broad straw
hat on the stamp IL real boy. He
lives In New York's East-side. and UNI
I'll he was ten years old had never
had any place to play but the street.
Then early last summer his family
moved into the neighborhood OF q
playground.
The boy Is simply transformed. All
the long summer days he could use
the swings and gymnastic apparatus.
and, best OF all. the ball field without
fear OF the cops"
The large play congress" meets In
Rochester. N. u. today, where hun
dreds or enthusiastic playground
workers are trying TO arouse q play
ground sentiment that will extend
from ocean to ocean. sweeping every
boy and girl of the streets and out
OF the houses into sunny. airy play
grounds.
The old village commons have
been covered with slSyscrapers and
tenements: the old dirt streets have
been given to automobiles. street
The Detroit times., 1910-06-07
BY FRED scHAEFER.

EN- ROWT Ito our golt mine): Ad
dis writings me und Adolf ISIS trafel-
ing as fast as wheels can take us To
der OSCAR und Adolf claim. We ISIS
occupying a drawing room in fiat
car--id ISIS right Offer der draw bar.
Ven we take possession of diss
claim we will be fortunate. Until we
get Id we are imatchining vot we will
haf. Won ding we half decidet-only
der pure golf viii be remofed. Any
3ings unter "a clarets will be trowed
away.
I'D looks like we wass Crocusses"
| said, "eferdings We touch ISIS into
COLT turned"
well den, please don'd touch my
boddle of cough medizin" croaked
Adolf" or maybe you viii turn 1t into
chloride OF COLT just ven my appetite
for trink iss becaming blessing"
Id iss grant to dink we can want
for holdings now For my part | felt
like billiojaire. Und Adolf. he said
he felt bilious, too.
"Don'd you dink we ought to pay
der national debt?" I asked.
"vot iss der use," said Adolf. I'VE
can't kip up NIT billion dollar conk-
resses." Adolf ISIS optimist nit
boils.
Some people don'd know vot TO dit
NIT wealt ven def hat I'd. told
Adolf OF O man vonce who hat a s.
pound COLT nugget and used I'd for n
The Detroit times., 1910-06-07

promised to do. he brutality informed
her that another would be his bride.
He left her. The girl. life wrecked
and honor lost, killed herself. The
man was not guilty In the eyes OF the
law.
But when we come TO the other case
we note how the law does punish
for some crimes. In New York court,
on the same day. young man was
sentenced to spend 80 years In the
state penitentiary for trying to steal
$1,000 from wealthy mans house.
That was burglary. The law pun
ished burglary OF gold and silver-or
toothpicks. They are property" The
courts protect property with dilig-
ence worthy OF commentator.
But the burglary OF young girls
honor is a different matter altogether.
And driving her into q suicides
grave afterwards Is not killing her
In the eyes OF the law
There would be less white slave"
traffic to investigate were a woman's
honor property" and the burglar OF
II awarded his full measure of punish
ment.
The Detroit times., 1910-06-07
JUSTICE is BLIND

There seems to be something wrong
with the weights and measures" OF
justice. or with the hand that holds
the scales and metes out the punish
ment
AS long as criminals are to be
punished, so long should evildoers be
punished eQuitably.
The goddess OF justice is pictured
as blind. but IL does sometimes seem
that the lady Is also deaf and dumb,
armless, asleep. paralyzed and pos
sessed OF wooden leg.
The inequality of the Justice"
emanating from our courts Is we'll
Illustrated In two cases recently
tried.
In Illinois one man was acquitted
OF the murder of young girl. whose
bullet-riddled body was found In a
Peoria Qll) hotel. to which she had
been taken by the man to whom she
had given all that a woman can give
her honor. He had taken her from
her home 70 tell her that their init
mscy must cease, and that instead OF
marrying her as he had at one time
The Detroit times., 1910-06-07

paber weight und dit nod know vot i'd
wass, ha. ha, ha!
"Ha, ha, ha. | see der choke" said
Adolf. He hat Id all dot time und
dit nod know Id wass paber weight.
Und yet murder iss a crime.
After a vile Adolf dinking of all der
money, said. Il belief | will get me a
valid"
"Ach," said. but no man ISIS a
hero TO hiss valid"
well. | dond want TO be" reblied
Adolf. IF my valid falls in der rifer
von'd pull him ouid."
hat a bedder idea vot to do NIT
my golf.
II dink | will buy my wife pearl
dog collar" | remarked. II wonder
ef dey viii trow in a chain?"
Adolf said, II dink / will buy my
wife a diamant stomacher."
asked him of hiss wife hat der
stomach ache, but he dit nod answer
me, only NIT painful glance.
INIT so much vealt as we viii haf."
he said. Il subbose better get fro
proof safe"
I'D ISIS no USE" / tolt him, you
can'd TAKE your wealt NIT you ven
you die"
But later | sugchestet dot NIT our
money we ought TO buy rellroat.
Diss dit nod make hit NIT Adolf.
He said, Zach no. voult hate to beat
my way on my own railroat."
The Detroit times., 1910-06-07
lilh Deep Regret We
lsslgn the President
The Part Of the Goat
NE the Part However. He Seems
Willing To Play In This
washington Production
Of chantleleer.

Do you recall the story Jack Bulti'
crowed the wake the preacher all
hssd maiden all foo who MIXED the COW
With the crumbled dog the barn that worried
~ cat that killed that lay the house that Jack
4 bult;o that's the way goes
The list of those who have their jobs Washington
Secretary Banger than the
y story o the malt and the rat
Newell be for precisely thing
for precisely thing that Kerby
Krby fired for precisely the thing Pncho fred
fired for precisely the thing CLAWS fired for
thing the doing of that for which
being received from the of the United Salisbury
The malt the house that Jack
country that has Of and
Sof It greedy, powerful and INSCRIPTIONS private capital
The with the CLAWS until President Taft first
out ont the eye and Ballnger later killed the cat
Bage being somewhat roughly around the barn by
secretary his this particular production Of
Cntee somebody had put official in his political
feed
There are three chantice-three cocks who
those preachers of Washington who are hard
u hearing and seldom practice
Growing them have of and the
about get it. from the administration
his conservation delivered this
city, that something be done to the end Of all
TIE people sharing wealth that the public lands not yet de-
velcped.
NAY WE SUGGEST THAT THE PRESIDENT HAS SEPARATED
FROM THEIR GOVERNMENT JOBS DATE, TWO MEN; HAS
coUHrENAECED THE SEPARATION FROM THEIR JOBS OF TWO
MORE AND Is ABOUT TO C0UNTENANCE LIKE TREATMENT OF
AroTHER-FTvE MEN IN ALL WHO COULD HAVE RENDERED HIS
ADMINISTRATION VALUABLE SERVICE IN THIS DIRECTION
What Washington the wealth Of these lands going
3 IS conserved ALL WHOSE SYMPATHY WITH THE DESIRE
Or TAFT TO WEALTH IS so GENUINE SO REAL AND
81 DEEP THAT THEY ARE TO SACRIFICE THEIR BREAD
AND BUTTER FOR THE CAUSE.
Before the president hopes for be effected
and before these be out of the reach Of private
capital and monopoly have around him who SYM
pathv with his aims THERE IS NO DANGER OF COL
fxUMoE WITH OR PREJUDICE ON THE SIDE OF CAPITAL
Each and every dsm for which the Banger
& responsible Banger alone has far escaped the
uspcn Of the president president stand responsible for
His willingness the blame when taken connection with
hs the compe to assign
him in this Washington production Rostans latest d the part Of
3 the administration goat
The Detroit times., 1910-06-07
From Another Point of View
wbereupon the Committee of Fifty gracefully gave up

whereupon Committee Of Fifty gracefully gave it
IA bandit
mayo Fifty
sptbal pitchers subject Waterloo
\ The Waterloo hit that kind
hal Bancroft on the Job
tariff BILL President Taft therefore, kdder
Of Of
3 ehou Iooko horses"
The Detroit times., 1910-06-07

Pauline goes to take the place OF
the late defunct "moolley" who was
accidentally killed some time ago.
Pauline comes to the Tafts as gift
"a $1,000 present.
The constitution says something
about the presidents accepting pres
ents from foreign potentates.
But this is gift from Senator
Stephenson, of Wisconsin, who is not
a foreign potentate. but merely ono
OF the grand dukes In the kingdom OF
big business"