Omaha daily bee., 1910-04-05

dozen isn't enough, all he has to do
is to drop a remark to that effect and
the order will be increased. Does con-
gresham get a consignment OF fancy bot
tied water at his door each morning? No,
little one, but he can stroll into anyone
Of a number Of pleasant places and get
the same thing for a mere Is cents a split
SO there's no occasion for him getting
peeved about It.
Let us suppose that a senator and a
congressman each rubs his hand across
his chin and discovers that the shave he
got the day before is about run down. The
congressman goes into the barber shop
over in the house wing Of the capitol and
the senator does the same thing over on
the senate side. Now let us assume further
that fifteen minutes or so have elapsed.
Each arises and gets busted Off The con-
gressman pays the barber for his hirsu-
torial Abbreviating services and goes his
way. Does the senator pay his barber? II
he does it's because he has a generous
heart and il a spendthrift by inclination.
For the senate barber shop is free to sena-
tors II you are in Washington some day
and lack the price OF a shave all you have
to do is to walk into that shop and look
like senator II you succeed in fooling
the barber you are saved-and shaved.
Then, what do you think happens II a
senator is troubled with billiousness, head
ache, grip Asiatic cholera or cOrns2 Does
he go to cut rate drug store, like you
would, and buy a box Of dun colored pills.
hat oil q
for? II he does he deserves to have what
ever Is the matter with him. For he
doesn't need to. There's a drug store in
the senate wing and all he has to do is to
walk up to the window, tell a government
employe where It is that he feels queer
and the man behind the counter presses a
little bottle Of pills or llsterlne or salVe
into his hand before he can say JACK
Robinson-assuming that he would attempt
any such commonplace ejaculation.
In addition, there are free Turkish baths
and attendants
You see the government does all This as
matter Of economy. The theory is that
It will be worth while. in the long run to
keep all senators in good working condi-
ton. II the average senator had to go
and buy pills every time he had head
ache he might hem and haw, and say he
didn't need anything, that he'd be all right
In a little while-and then get worse and
worse.
There is ,Gn office building for con-
gresham and another for senator's
yes, provided by the government. AS near
as one can see the exteriors are practically
alike. From the outside they are twin
buildings But there's a difference inside
For one thing. the rooms and furnishings
are much handsomer in the senate office
building. Each senator has from two to
four rooms; congressman have only one.
Another thing: Each wing OF the capitol
contains a restaurant where lunch-oh,
well luncheon then--is served at noon,
Walters on the house side receive -
week Congressman who eat their vittles
there are expected to add enough in tips
to give the walters fair income. Look
at a menu in the senate restaurant and
you will see in about forty-four point type
two or three inches above the soups
notice TO the effect that tips to walters
are strictly forbidden. The walters there
get $50 a month, which, inssmuch as they
work only at the noon hour, is considered
enough for them.
Hold on there. Don't go away with
wrong impression. That notice is there
on the menus and you're not supposed
TO tip the walters. All that's been told
you in the foregoing is true-but don't
get the idea that II you forget and leave
dime or a quarter on the tray. through
force of habit, the walter is going TO
make scene. He'll take It and will
keep secret your violation Of the senate
rules. You need have no fear that he'll
go and tell somebody on you and that
you'll be brought up before the senate
or the supreme court to show cause
why you should not answer charge OF
contempt of somebody or other. Moth
ing like that.
Let's see. Oh yes, here's the best one
vet It's a block or so from the house
office building. where the congressman
stay when they're doing up seeds to
send home over to the house itself The
two are connected by an underground
tunneI-a subway. The senate office
building which is about an equal dis
tance from the senate, is also connected
by tunnel. All a congressman has TO
do on a rainy day or a sunshiney day,
s to go down into the tunnel and walk