The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1910-08-04

Even lawyers sometimes grow tired OF
the !nnumerab1e technicalities that serve
TO delay and obstruot court trial nova
lays, as we'll as of the not always wise
decisions that 4 Is darby limited, have
at some times and some places been hand
| ed down from the bench. No discreet law
yer. Of course, would publicly find fault
with the weapons Of litigation at his dis
! posal, much less venture TO openly Ques-
ton the acurnen OF the court; but an old
| attorney, who lives less than a million
miles from Kansas City, has submitted
the following as somewhat typha|is
| somewhat exaggerated-of modern legal
| procedure:
SCENE. A COURTROOM.
Cast: Judge, sheriff, county attorney,
pettlfrSEers, Jury, witnesses, etc. Enter
fudge Know All, followed by sheriff,
court stenographer, etc.
Court: Mr.. Sheriff, quarantine court.
Sheriff; Hay thar, you all The Horrahle
circus court Of he 18th ridiculous district,
81 the state OF Texarkhoma. Ks now in Sc
oession Pursuant to bankruptcy.
Court: adjusting his Colts IS, tnk wells,
Socket, glasses. ete.) Come to order gen.
uemen. Cooking Colts Is, and opening
docket. The FIRST case on call Is, The
State OF T~exarkhoua VS.. Johen Doe. What
says the state IN this case. No. SHAT.
SpA4NE AAtSIiSy. III TIE CASE u the
State Of T~exarkhoma VS.. John Doe, the
state announces ready.
Lawyer Pettfos: Your Honor, the de-
terdant demurs to the inflammation filed
herein by the county attorney, and as
grounds for such denerrer respectively
shows the court:
LIST, That the inflammation filed herein
Is not written, printed or drawn on paper
81 tho length. thickness, width and
49, --ztz -, -
10 ! OF Gle Reviied Code OF the State OF
~Texarkhoma-
Court: Well, it seems that the county
attorney never does anything IN the man
uer provided in the statutes. Mr.. County
Attorney, what have you to offer to over
come the contentious of AIr. Pettifogg?
County Attorney: With Your Honor's
permission, 1 wish to offer the friday
II the ~ianitor that the inflammation filed
herein is drawn on paper of the dimen-
stons and strength, as required by the
statutes In such case made and provided.
and as shown by measurements made by
he said ~Janitor with the official yardstick
Of this honorable court,
Court: Gentlemen, how often will l be
required to remind you that affdavits are
DOT admissible in cases of this character?
l want you to produce the authority sup
porting your contentious. Show me the
~N"' D-"HS ! lIE UlICldl E9rNStlck
Il proceed with the measurements in the
presence OF the court. declare, that I
never saw the like in all my experience as
3 judge Of the court of common spells.
Enter keeper of the official yardstick,
bearing official yardstick.
Pettfogg: Your Honor, I wish to OBJ
jet TO the name in which the keeper
OF the official yardstick is approaching
Your Honor.
Court vp,r oSioo+to- -
Pettifogg.
Pettifogg: With all due respect to Your
Honor, I wish to except.
Court: Mr.. Slobographer, note the ex-
ception Of Mr.. Pettifogg. The keeper Of
The official yardstock will pass the official
yardsttck to Mr.. Pettifogg for his examin-
alton.
Pettifogg: examining official yard
stck)-Your Honor, l wish to call Your
attention to the fact that nv ex-
animation of the official yardstick reveals
to me, as can be shown by the signs of
zodiac, that the official yardstick has
oeen used within the last seven wears nv
the county surveyor, and without the Der-
mission of this honorable court. l object
70 me state using the official yardstick
OF this honorable court for the purpose of
measuring the filed herein by
the county attorney.
County Attorney: Your honor admit
ing the contentious of Mr.. Pettifogg to
De true, 1t is equally true, as your honor
well knows, and as Mr.. Pettifogg will adj
nit, that the official yardstick, was bv
the order Of this honorable court, and
AFTER Its unlawful use by the county sur
Peyor, immersed in the official whitewash
tub OF this honorable court, which. ac-
cording to the ruling decision as rendered
chief justice of the peace wisdom, in