Morris tribune., 1910-05-06


And in no very great concern
Disport his graces ithely?
Then let him enter in the lot
Of every earthly dweller,
And from his none too ample jot
Pay Morganguggenfeller.
III.
Or would you stick around a bit
Enjoying this existence,
And wholly indisposed to quit
1t short of great resistance?
Then will you also get in line,
Or buyer or seller,
And for the favor superfne
Pay Morganguggenfeller.
The month will open with the peals
OF children singing MaY-day and the
calf will elevate his heels for spring
time in its heyday. The goat will pir
ouette around, the symbol of beer,
the rooster will awake the sun and
pose as Chanticleer, the turtle dove
will fill the space of even with his
.wooing, and the trusts will go around
again with Uncle Sam pursuing.
The season will array the hills in
bright and nodding flowers, and the
moon will rouse the whippoorWills in
many shady bowers. The hooking
bird will fill the night with liquid
roundelays, the festive colt will shake
his feet and dance poIonaise, the
doodlebugs will trip the light fantastic
in the cleaning, and Mr.. Taft will
pack his grip and once more go
a-roaming.
The comet will continue to increase
in its effulgence, and the wicked will
get horny -kneed imploring its indul-
gence. The trusts will all put wages
up and want to pay fine, the pluto
cratic senators will all of them resign,
the proud and naughty syndicates and
penitence will grapple, and a gunny
sack won't hold the tithes at Rookie
feller's chapel.
Until the 9Th or thereabouts the
frightful apparition will make its daily
whereabouts morning exhibition;
but having ascertained by then that
no one is about except few poor
dairymen who never do stay out, it
will recede from us until it later on
surprises the folks who are retiring
now about the time it rises.
By May the goth it will appear a.
very'gorgon, and all the missionary
funds will get a check from Morgan.
The Armours and the Cudahys will
come down off their perch, the Capt.
Kidds of industry will all put into
church, the overjoyed revivalist will
want for space to breathe in, and
Wall street will exhort us all to help it
save the heather.
You may repent without concern
Lest someone ridicule you,
For almost everyone will turn
To crying HalleYlulliah!
We'lI all be too much occupied
On some score of our own
To think of very much beside
The thing we would atone
But all the same we shall not be
Too awed to laugh the way it
Is going to sound when Carnegie,
John D. and Morgan say it.
There is no thorn without it's rose,
as hitherto suspected, and wind all
evil never blows, as someone has de-
tected. The sight of HaIley's comet
will play havoc with us all, according
to the sum of lips conscience can re-
call; but to the most of US it will not
be the threat of hell or retribution it
will seem to Morganguggenfeller.
However, lest the rest OF Us forget
that we are mortal, and someone in
excess of joy too gloatingly shall
chortle, the solar system will provide
an eclipse of the sun upon the 9th, ard
what is more, twill be total one
invisible to US, but still sufficient for
devotions in Australasia, New South
Wales and all adjacent oceans.
And as if this were not enough 10
make US live discreetly, the moon up
on the 23rd will be eclipsed complete
ly. Tn fact, it is to be month of
wonderful displays. and one III which
most everyone will sort of mend his
ways. The sun, the moon and Halley's
scare will all be cutting didoes, and
they'll get US all to jumping through
just like lot of Fidoes.
But be it as it may turn out, of
other matters briefly: I. r. will keep
on telling them what is the matter
The monarch sitting on his
throne, the student in his cap, the /