El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1910-05-10

False teeth er all right in Their place.
Nothin a little man says ever sounds
probable
Miss Fawn Lippincut says this is pos
itively tn last time she'll change her
waist line.
Grandmother didn' know nothin' bout
tn benzoate O. sody. She hid her jelly
t mako it keep.
Miss Fawn Lippincut is writin a re-
cipe how t keep from turnin' red
at musical comedy.
Lots O. fellers take Their hat off in
elevator that think Z. woInan's place is
in tn kitchen.
Miss Tawney Apple, who is t be
married in September, has asked fer a
respite.
Ole Niles Turner can't read, an dur
ing tn Spanish war he wuZ
holdin' a paper upside down an said,
Hello, here's another battleship blown
L HI"
1 guess it's better in tn long run t
keep your mouth shut. even If you do
get tn reputationlf fer bein' uninterestin'.
After a Teller distinguishes himself
these days he starts right in t make
it pay.
Never take anything t'day you can't
put back t'morrow.
Constable Newt Plum accidentally
locked his whiskers up in a cash regis
ter last night an 1T wuz 8 o'clock be-
fore his cries fer help wuz heard
Women must be glad t git home an
git their shoes off. A Teller kin fail at
er'thing an still be a good pool
player.
TIL country boy that plows all day
has got tn city Teller that don't know
what to do with himself beat mile.
You kin allus fool enough people t git
iht society.
Theirs jist one chance fer a ugly girl
-amiability. Woman excels at ever
thing but ironing tn neckband O. a
shirt
TIL difference between a acter an a
trained seal is that you have [ feed the
seal A country preacher dresses like
a corpse.
All things come L him that waits
if he knows where Z wait.
If prosperity will jist return no ques-
tions will be asked.
A Teller don't have over two er three
real friends in lifetime. Once in
while you meet some one that's nice an
clever, but he generally turns out I
be an agent fer somethin.
You won't meet any autos in tn
straight an narrow path
Uncle Ez Pash says his new hired man
is so dinggasted lazy tibet he he'd I
sharpen all tn stumps on tn farm t
keep him from settin' down.
A woman excels ct blamed nigh ever
thing but ironin' tn neckband o a shirt.
TRY Buff dun't take his wife nowhere
now since they're married He says fell
lcTS Jun d1lCA SNACOS NNAS ~-N~-
they've caught 'em.
Theirs gittin t be too many blamed
schemes in this country make peo-
ple save that wouldn't otherwise save"
an lose tibet wouldn't otherwise lose.
The republican party is goin' t give
us a purity gdod terrnater crop, after
all.
There's a good deal o speculation
down here ez t. whether Taft is a-goin'
L run er set down.
A good deal O. anxiety is felt fer Alex
Tansey's safety. Yesterday evenin' he
started t visit his aunt up ct Angola,
an up { noon t'day not one single SOU
venir pustal card hez been received
from him.
A friend that hain't in need is friend
indeed.
LATE Bud has resigned his job at tn
saw mill cause it took up too much
@ his time.
What is worse than havin' some one
try t tell you about a play they saw?
You never hear nothin' bout 9TH |
money father used t make"
Tabitha Plum run her peek-a-boo |
waist through tn pi-an-oIey last week |
an, by ginger, it played medley.
couple O. strangers wuz here this |
week talkin' up a cannin' factory. One |
WIZ dressed like a Dimmycrat an tn |