The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1910-02-06
GR|D|RON DINNER
BRILLIANT AFFAIR
Scott Bone lnaugurated PreSi-
dent of the Famous Wash
ington Club.
VARIOUS AMUSING STUNTS
PRESIDENT TAFT AND MANY
HIGH OFFICIALS PRESENT.

Washington, Feb. 5.-The Gridiron
club gives two dinners each year, and it
fell out that the one given tonight at
the New Willard was the silver dinner
marking the twenty-fifth anniversary
of the foundation of the club. Where
for there was a great gathering Of nota-
bles-a President, cabinet officers, am
bassadors. jurists, grave and reverend
senators, frivolous representatives IN
Congress, and a number of simple news
paper men gathered from many states
of the Union. Each and all bore on
remembrance of the happy event in the
shape of a souvenir silver ash receiver,
crossed by the mystic GTidiTOn.
The fun started almost as soon as the
guests We're seated, with a tangle over
the Inauguration of the new president
of the club-Scott c. Bone, editor of the
Washington Herald, for entering IN
timely upon the scene, came FL Presi-
dente Zelaya, with his army, composed
of half a dozen generals in Falstattian
uniforms, and one lone private. Zelaya,
looking for a job, had picked out the
presidency OF the GridirOn club as suit
able, and was elected only by the threat
that Secretary Knox was approaching.
"Back From Elba Club"
Scarcely had peace and quiet been re-
stored, when another interruption came,
when 10 the strains of the "Marsel-
laise,' entered the Back From Elba
club" clad in NapOleOnic uniforms,
and including persOnihcatiOns OF public
men who have been identified by COM
mon report with the movement to re-
turn Roosevelt TO the White House. The
big stick" figured in this, and in the
-,
defiance of all rules Of secret orders,
and in the presence of several hundred
"Quitlanders, were dragged forth and
duly initiated the two unfortunate neo-
phytes of the GridiTOn club, George Ed
mund Miller, resident correspondent Of
the Detroit News, and John Callan
O'Laughlin of the Chicago Tribune
They were made to foreswear all of the
policies of their respective newspapers,
and to pledge themselves to be on the
pier TO welcome THE Only One" when
he returned from Africa-all this TO the
chant Of When Teddy Comes Sailing
Home Again; Hurrah."
insurgents GrilIed.
The insurgents got their grilling, too.
when between courses was rendered an
affecting scene from Uncle Toms
Cabin for this occasion described as
"Uncle JOe's Cabin, or Life Among the
Insurgents" A presentiment Of Speak
er Cannon was the clever lawyer
Marks; another of Whip Dwight was
the brutal Overseer "Legree," and vaTi-
Gus prominent insurgents figured as
Uncle Tom" and his fellow slaves, and
Little Eva" They were roughly
treated, told thatothey had been de-
pTived Of all patronage, and their ap-
peals TO the speaker to resign" were
met by demands for their return to the
Republican caucus. Finally put upon
the block at auction in a dubious mar
ket, the Democrats and Republicans
alike holding of from the bidding, the
sale was stopped by orders from the
White House in the shape Of an enamel
, patton proclamation, in order to secure
party harmony.
Trusts We're Roasted.
If the insurgents were grilled, the
trusts were faily roasted in another skit
pOrtraying the Infant Industries
the lumber. whisky, beef, coal and to-
baccO trusts-seeking protection from a
number Of ugly-l0Oking customers iden-
titled as The Ultimate Consumers"
This was a verse from one of the chants
of the trust magnates, to the air of a
popular song;
Oh, the ultimate consumer always has 10
coma 10 us,
. Cause he hasn't any other place TO go.
He viii rise in Indignation, he viii make
an awful fuss,
Cause he hasn't any other place to go.
Why are all our guests assembled her
tonight in glad array2
Why do congressman keep coming to our
city, day by day?
Why did Roosevelt grab a gun and beat
il clear 10 AfTicay?
Cause he hadn't any other place to go
Crack at Knox.
The new order of things in the state
department was disclosed in a skit IL
Illustrative of a gathering Of Secretary
Knox and his faithful assistants and
bureau chiefs Of recent creation. There
was an under secretary and a "secre-
tary Of near-slghted affairs" and one
Of ''far-sighted affairs" and there was
q wonderful exhibition Of "shirt-sleeve
diplomacy" resulting in the summary
settlement of the Nicaraguan question
and the Chinese railroad imbroglio and
other matters that have engaged the at
tentiOn Of the diplomatic branch of the
government for the past few months
Among the guests were: President
Taft, Vice President Sherman, the Chi
nese minister, Senators Bourne Of Ore
gon, Carter Of Montana, Guggenheim
of Colorado, Representatives Clark of
Missouri, BUcker of Colorado, J. A
DTeckOns Of Cheyenne, Wyo.: L. r.
CLAWS Of Portland, Ore; William Gug-
genheim of New York, Admiral ]. n
HemFhill, Assistant Secretary Hiles.
Brigadier General Humphrey, c. n.
Jameson of Pekin, China, and w. r.
Wheeler Of San Francisco.