Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-12-11

through ropes - - liar - fake
| - - -
| Champ Clark has just wired follow
"Uncle Joe Cannon:
| Il withdraw all criticisms on your
| House rules. Mature consideration
| shows me they are all right.
| CHAMP CLARK
| New York-Stimson has just received
following without signature:
"If returns do not show one vote
cast for you in this place, contest
| election
Special to Gridiron Smudge:
Indianapolis.
| "All is lost except honor and a
| vine-clad cottage. Do you know any
| body who wants cottage. cheap?
'BEVERIDGE.''
Cincinnati Ohio-Harding, repub-
lican candidate in Ohio, has just wired
| President Taft, asking him to cancel
| his Thanksgiving proclamation.
Washington, D. C.-White House has
| issued statement impossible to cancel
Thanksgiving proclamation, but COM
piance with it not compulsory.
Wires down from oyster Bay, or our
correspondent there killed. Hope for
former, but fear the worst.
The popular air, whats the Matter
With Father" was made to carry song
tributes to the governors present, Secre-
tary Ballinger. Mr.. Fairbanks, Senator
Aldrich and the Presidents secretary,
Mr.. Norton. The verse about Mr.. Nor
ton ran:
'sWhat's the matter with Norton? He's
all right:
What's the matter with Norton? He's all
right;
He says it takes a husky gent
To be assistant president:
What's the matter with Norton? He's all
right"
The Retreat From Moscow.
The dinner was interrupted by the
sounds Of a most doleful march. played
by the section Of the Marine Band pres
ent, attracting attention to one of the
entrances.
1.-The retreat from Moscow" murmured
some one. There came most lugubri-
lar tatterdemallons, with downcast mien.
At their head rode figure strangely re-
sembling ''T. r." his white horse with
dropping head toiling along.
But who is that jaunty figure. with
cocky air and springy step. head in
air and chin appraised. prancing along
in the wake? AS we live, it is Uncle
Joe" Cannon. the fighting cock Of Dan
vile, who says never word. but puns
a big cigar in most aggravating fash
ion. And SO the procession passes by
without look to right or left.
But Uncle Joe's exultatiOn is short
lived. Soon thereafter a group OF hg-
ures. in picturesque Japanese garb. en-
tered the hall. singing an air from THE
Mikado." They were 'Poo-Bah" Cum
Minis, "Pish-tush" Clark and Nicholas
Ko-Ko Longworth. Being challenged
by President Bone for their intrusion.
Dno- hoh N,pvV1 mil rarnNntZRd
lord high executioner. explained that
"a wandering minstrel named Nanki
10 Cannon has been standing pat on the
pie counter till we're tired Of seeing
him around, and we want his head.
This is he"
Longworth for the Job.
Nanki 10 Cannon then appeared and
sang plaintive song about "A
Wandering Speaker, l." but said he was
ready for the decapitation. Pooh-bah
Cummins declared that Nanki 10 was
foe to progressivisrn, because he had
too many friends; to be a progressive
"a man must make enemies.
I'VE tried to get Nanki 10 to cut his
own head off, but he went out to Dan
willie, and had it fastened on tighter. Even
our serene and smiling nigh potentate-
Mikado Taft-decided it might as we'll be
DONE" said PooBah, who thereupon pro-
ceeded to describe Nanki JOS many
traits.
"Gentlemen,' said Nanh 10. your
tribute touches me deeply. Whom have
you selected to decapitate me?"
How would Victor Murdoch do?"
He'd be too hasty.
"Well. then, La FOllette"
He'd talk me to death. What / want
is an executioner with a strong arm and
sure stroke an memorable minister of
| vengeance whose ferocious eye will
render me insensible at 4 glance. And
yet l should like it to be the hand of an
old friend. Here comes the very man.
"Who is hep
Nicholas 10 ko Longworth."
10 10, after singing song. was about
| to perform his dread task when "Mikado
Taft appeared with a reprieve for the
| luckless Nanki 10.
Saved for Crueler Fate.
Il have in mind more lingering and
| cruel fate for him. he declared. He
| shall be chained to his seat and compelled
| to listen to the debate on the rules"
Mikado Taft sang a song which con-
cluded in these words:
1.-The prosy and dull congressional takers
1 heed with the greatest care.
II hear each grafton without conSterna-
| tion--although they're hard to bear.
When they seek the White House and ask
! for pie I will treat them fine as silk.
II the pastry's shy. there's Pauline near
| by, who will give them glass OF
| milk.
The man who's teeming with information
| on all things meath the sun
To Norton l send him, advice to extend
| him. on how the place should be run
The bold standpatter, likewise the pro-
| gressive, who comes to pay a call,
Likewise the insurgent, so eagerly urgent
| I welcome them. one and all.
MY smile is still serene,
AS plainly may be seen
No matter how they jump the track anC
4 batter the old machine.
For l am quite content
To do the work that's meant
For q big American President-AmericaI
President"
Along about the shank Of the evenin,
1.-THE lights dipped out for a moment OF
lwo, md when they flashed on again
band wagon was discovered In the cen
ter Of the hall. In 1t was the figure o.
a very athletic looking dame. wearinf
hobble-skirted evening gown and witt
couture of latest style. To Presiden
and why she thus intruded at a gentle
mems dinner. the husky parsonage re
piled that she was Miss Democracy"
but you're not the Miss Democrat,
we have seen pictured" suggested Mr.
Bone.
"1ou bet I'm not" was the hearty re
DIV. mot since November 8. am
militant, am. l am the original Fam,
FRAGILE I beat EN- to it,
The lady went on to say that she wa
going to take joy ride in the bant