The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1910-05-28

E hl9 GARDEN.
Did yqu plan, much 81 3 epraen
this spring. asked the head clerk o
The cashier as they sat BY The window
81 the noon hour. Yon said early ~
the spring that you moved out Of q
aal into that cottage 50 YOU conld
raise your own garden truck
Dont talk tome about ilygafdeni
exploded the cashier I've been bun
3koed the worst you ever INV. IKE gos
8as nIea little yard as there 4 ~ the
ely but ltIs nom d few diaEs little
flowers ny wite.piit in II I,msnct golng
% grow 4 thing.
What was tie trouhleg asked the
head clerk. Seed not good
The seed and plants bad were
3eEceedingly healthy think Vol, an
sgEered the cashier TOO much Sol
found considering the kind 81 .yegetsT
ton they turned out TO be.
Not the right varieties hey
Not exactly. the flrst thing 4 did
was To break out q section Of my spinal
column spadilg up a place torsny9 early.
Ipotatnes. Fellow named Perl Ins, whom
Ike known, fort years, said he had 9
Hot Of potato seed that. would raise
gutatoes big enough TO eat IN SIX
weeks and offered to give me seed to
plant my patch / could have bought
all NEEDED al the grocers But he
was 70 nice atont IL and offered to
bring them around 70 The house, SO !
thanked him and gave him Q good
cigar.
II planted those seeds, and watered
them carefully every night but no
potatoes showed up. IL J
Every motlins, and every evening
Perkins camsaad sttick, his head over
the Eeneeto ask about those potatoes.
finally my wife got suspicious about
bis great interest and asked me how
deep 4 planted the seed.
4" Oh. about ak inches | said.
H How did you put them IN = she
asked.
4 Why. said, 7 put handful ioi
those little things in every hlll.'
Little things2 says my wife. And
ont she went and dug down TIL she
found the seed.
"They we're buckshot which that
ronfounded Perkins had palned on
on me Just to be funny. When he
asked me that evening how my pota-
Toes were getting on l told him in
about one round just how those POI
tatoes were progressing. II
That was d mean trick" sniekered
the head clerk. II
You think 500" asked the cashier
We'll, Bill. the boss Of the mill gang.
brought me a basket Of tomato plants
which turned out to be milk thlstles, !
planted them and made myself the
laughingstock Of the neighborhood,
Now. Bill is all swelled up With the
idea that he, Is a great iosher /,
Pretty rough, that vas glggled
the head clerk.
Il might have lived that down after
a few years" said the cashier, "tf 9
COUSIN OF mine IN the country hadr't
told me to plant baked beans with
tomato sahce. That was the lowest
down trick Of the lot. yAfteFe had
them planted / did not get suspiclous
until some one told me should have
put In a piece Of pork with the beans
tolgiye them the right flavor
IIl have to leave that heighbor.
hood. The folks IRE guying me into
insanity. They send me empty sar-
dine cans with directions how tc raise
fish poles. They advise me togplant
chickenweed and raise d flock otichickt
ems. have a very humorous set Of
ieighbors,
However. I'm going to callsa halt nal
oil the run. They StfuckS inc H1lt
when they sent a box with d covered
basket containing kitten with WRIT
ten directions how to grow d bed Of
catnip from the beast. LII brain The
next delegation
cts early in the season yet" said
the head clerk "You still have time
70 ok up your garden" #
Not me- replied the cashier DC
cldedly. aside from the fact that !
do not dare to show my face IN my
garden, ] have lost interest in planting
| I'm going TO 30 In for yachting this
summer an try to drown my tfoubiesi
Chicago News,
Lla.., fkt,as. IftlIa Tketr Fn9S 2j