davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-18

We're oil friends he said. Il was
working ere abart Il week ago"
The young lady dispensed with her
smile.
Cant pay no bills just now she
said, firmly, specially plumbers bills .
Herbert Teclined ON the counter and
reassured her. Bills be bowed lac cx
claimed. "Not's' money to me?s That
amt my disposition, Yer know" he
continued waving his hand airilv. "wof
always strikes me about this sbop is
a sorter unfinished appearance! I'm al
ways thinkin' as 'ow neat little shay.
IN, saloon at tn back would make it
look more natural like
And he became almost eloquent as he
enlarged on the beauties of beyeled
edged mirrors and handicapped wash.
hand basins
- terbackcr shop he concluded.
without barberin business attached
is like man without a wife" And he
sighed amorously
I'm barber myself he added
Ipointedly.
you were a plumber last week" said
Miss Pawley.
Jest a 'obby of mine" explained Her
bert. "Plumbin's a pastime to a man
Eof my caliber."
"Can you shave" she asked artlesslv.
lie limited that he was "a past master
at that art
Then why don't you?" said Miss
Pawley, yawning. Mr. PrehbIe rubbed
his stubby chin and looked at her with
suspicion
"Wot / mean he said. piuckine M
courage, is this. Me beip' Il barber am
you II tobacconist, in manner of
apeakin'. why not let us go inter part
nership:" lie placed his hand in the
tresion Of his watch pocket and eazed at
her ardentIy
- life partnership" he said
Miss Pawley grew very red and seemed
to experience great difficulty in con
trolling her emotion
This is SO sudden she gasped. and
then made quick recovery. Il should
! think the least a man could do would be
TO take off his hat when he's proposingi''
| Herbert whipped off the offending
headgear. and the fluffy haired one gazed
at him fxedly for IA few seconds. and
then shook her head sadly. No" she
Imurmured, I'D rather be young mans
slavei"
! And as the plumber shuifed out into
the cold street he realized that in the
entries for the matrimonial stakes he
was classed as aged --Will Owen in
| the Manchester Chronicle
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-18
DANGEROUS THINGS TO HANDLE
Articles OF Daily Use which May he,
Peril to Human Life


Peril to Human Life.
Thousands of people are handling
certain articles daily without any idea
of their dangerous nature.
The ordinary soda water siphon, for
instance, is bomb. and an exceeding
ly powerful one to boot. charged. as
it frequently is, up to a pressure of
between 1870 and 100 pounds
A child who dropped one OF these
dangerous contrivanees in the street
the other day was almost as shocking
ly mangled by the resultant explosion
as was NJ. Won Plehve, the assassinated
Russian Minister of the Interior. by
the dynamite bomb thrown by the
Anarchist Porzonef
The large celuloid combs, again.
wearing in their hair, will. If acct
dentally brought into contact with
naked light, burst into flame OF expl0-
sive violence
Nor is this to be greatly wondered
at, seeing that one of the ingredients
to celluIoid is guncotton, while anoth-
er is camphOr, than which is no more
inflammable substance known to
chemists.
lodide of nitrogen, for instance,
which is frequently prescribed in com
bination with other drugs, is highly
explosive chemical. and accidents have
happened over and over again through
its incautious handling by persons tg-
norant of its dangerous properties,
Ticture of iron and diluted aqua
regia, again mixture often pre-
scribed as tonic, gives OFT an eXpo-
sive gas which has been known to
shatter the strongest vessels
Chloride of potash lozenges are high
ly dangerous If accidentally brought
into contact with an unlighted phos-
phorus match. Choral hydrate and
sal volatile, the favorite nerve tonic,
become, under certain conditions, as
deadly as dynamite.
The spontaneous explosive combns-
tion of a box of oxide of silver pills
has ere now caused fatal injury to
their unfortunate possessor. Bicar-
Donate of potash, a common remedy
for fatulence, will cause a dangerous
explosion If accidentally mixed with
subnitrate of bismuth
Ordinary spirits of wine is a sub
stance possessing tremendous perils.
A pint of it if suddenly ignited will
produce the very same destructive eff
fects as three or four pounds weight
of gunpowder This has been proved
on many different occasions.
Once at the Royal Surrey County
Hospital a clergyman rashly threw
small quantity on to "snapdragon"
dish, around which a number of choir
boys were gathered. The resultant
explosion killed one unfortunate lad
and severely injured several others.
PeaTsons Weekly
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-18
PROTEGE OF THE KING.
Rapid Promotion of Admiral Beatty
AsCribed to Social Relations.

Ascribed to Social Relations.
The rapidity that marked the promo
ton of Lord Nelson England's greatest
admiral, has been outdOne by the speed
with which Capt. David Beatty of the
royal navy has attained high honors. A
special order has been issued by the
admiralty. after a council. which valves
the regulation requiring six years SerY-
Ice as captain before promotion IT, rear
admiral, and the official announcements
# promotion Will follow in few days
The special order refers only TO Cant.
Beatty,and is based presumably on his
service record. But folks are wondering
how much of the handsome young cap
tain's "acceeration" is due to the wealth
and social abilities Of his wife, a daugh-
ter of Marshall Field, who was Mrs.
Arthur Tree before she married her pres
@ husband
Capt Beatty is only IS years old.
Nelson was 80 when he was made rear
admiral. Thirteen years ago Beatty
served under Kitchener in Egypt and
took command of the gunboat fiotilla on
the Nile. His gallantry and ability We're
SO conclusively shown at Atbara and
Omdurman that he was decorated with
the Distinguished Service order, which
ranks second in favor among military
men only to the Victoria Cross.
During the Boxer troubles in China
Beatty commanded the battlpShip Bar
heur. Again he distinguished himself
and was rewarded with the post of
CAPTAIN at the early age OF 20. In
the admiralty Office Beatty is looked
upon as one of the most capable staff
officers. and he has acted as naval adj
wiser to the council of the war office
In social life Capt. Beatty has made
quite as notable record Looked upon
as the handsomest officer in the navy.
he won the attention of Mrs. Tree. and
after her divorce in 1901 she married
Capt Beatty. Her father, Marshall,
happy pair soon established themselves
in society in a way that only the great
wealth of Mrs. Beatty and her husband
professional honors made possible.
The Beatty's rented Invercauld Il
magnificent shooting place in Scotland.
close to Balmoral. King Edwards Scotch
palace. There, as in London ana at
Brooksby Hall, the country place of the
Beatty's, royalty showered faYurs upon
them and King Edward was almost as
frequent a guest at the home of Capt.
and Mrs. Beatty as the latter We're
welcome at Balmoral. Windsor and st.
James. On the continent too. Mrs.
Beatty attracted the attention of the
King, and Capt. Beatty, as the Kings
aid-de-camp, was constantly at the side
of Edward VII.
There can he no question that the
social relations between Capt. Beatty
and the King have much to do with
his rapid promotion. but for all that
there is not caviller to say that the
gallant seaman has not shown himself
in every way deserving of his honors.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-18
The Learned German Boy.

During the Civil war George Dcuker.
a German boy about rs years Old who
had enlisted as Il volunteer from Penn
Sylyania. was slightly wounded in Il bat
tie and taken To a hospital
"Dumpy.' ms he WAS called, always
wore one of those old fashioned German
hats, which caused lots of fun for his
comrades.
Maj. Mcdowell, his commander. happy
over the victory Of the day. ana ever
ready To have fun with the German bov.
who could not speak English very plain
iy. said To him as he say him sitting near
a stove in the hospital with his arm in a
sling:
Dumpy, remove that helmet"
'Das Hell MittE Das He'll Alitt vat :"
said the German hoy. rather embar-
raised.
The helmet. that hat, said the major.
De hell INIT your hat, said the Ger
man boy, getting angry. This made
everybody laugh. even The wounded. who
had listened 10 The conversation -N Nor
man Mack's National Monthly
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-18
Little Willie knc,r-

Little Willie, the son of German
town woman, was playing one day
with the girl next door when the lat
ter exclaimed:
Don't you hear your mother calling
you? That's three times she's done so.
Aren't you going in?"
Not yet" responded Willie imper-
turbably.
Won't she whip you?" demanded
the little girl, awed
Nav" exclaimed Willie in disgust.
She amt goin' to whip nobodyl She's
got company. SO. when go in, she'll
just say, The poor little man has been
so deaf since he's had the measles.
--Lippincott's
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-18
The story a. a TURTLES sscni.

A butterfly hunter tells the follow
ing story of swamp life:
In the water right between my feet
was spotted turtle that had just cap
tured an appetizing but by no means
dainty morsel This was a terrapin-
like bug that was more than mouth
full. His body was already out of
sight, but clawike legs protruded from
both sides of that lsoceles triangle
which turtles mouth makes when it
is closed and waved frantic fare
well to the passing underwater world.
The turtle was a long time in masti-
eating his terrapin but it was happy
time His whole body blinked con-
tentedly, and he waved his fore legs
with a caressing outpush, a motion ex-
actly like that of a child at the breast.
Then he wagged his head solemnly
from side to side, as a wise turtle
might who feels that such good lunch
es are put up by fate only for the
knowing ones of this watery world,
and pushed himself halfway under the
roots of tussock for nap"
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-18
Spare That Tree!


We've got TO save the forest lands.
For what a fearful fate
70 the prophetic eye expands
With sawdust out of date!
Each morn will find us harsh and rude
Aud all inSatiate;
There II be no patent breakfast food
With sawdust out of date.
The paper roll that slowly frets
The all with yaperS great
Must die. Wen have no cigarettes
With sawdust out of date,
No more the acrobats viii fling
Gay hipflaps ana gyrate.
How can they build a circus ring
With saWdust out Of datef
The dancer with her merry whiriS
VIII find a 'shapeless state.
What shall We do for ballet girs
With sawdust out of date!
No wonder that we shrink I'm fear,
As for the end we wait!
This world wOuld he sorry sphere
With sawdust out of date!
Washington Star.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-18

Nora Was A treasure of a servant.
whose habit of speech was often ind'-
rect. but was frequently picturesque
and Unexpectedly expressive. One even
brary when the doorbell rang. Nora
answered it. and on her return through
the hall the master" inquired who ii
was
1T was young man, sor," replied
Nora
Well, what did he want?" was the
question
oh, he was Just lOokin for the
wrong number, sor.' Lippincott
Magazine
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-18
Leopold II. and Racine.

Among the many stories told Of The
late King Of the Belgians is one which
shows his majesty IN pleasing light. y
Paris society entertainer was Mt Brussels
and the King, who was indisposed sent
for her 10 read to him Racine's "Andro-
mache"
The lady obeyed the summons with
misgiyings, but she was soon undeceived.
For two hours the King listened to the
reading. The tender passages seemed. 50
the lady says, TO make the least impress
sion upon his majesty, out frequently
during the heavier parts ne interrupted
the reading 80 observe. Racine is a
powerful writer or similar comment
Toward the end a court attendant an
nounced the arrival If some visitors, whe
had an appointment The King turned
to the reader and said, ''You finish, il
you please, mademoisele," and 10 the
attendant he observed Ask the ladies
to wait. Tell them the King is engaged
with an ambassador. London Globe
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-18
McEwen's Decision.

Not long ago Justice McEwen sat on
Il COW case; that Is. IA case involving
money due one man for boarding the COW
Of another. The wrangle was as to
what the board was worth.
One attorney called three or four liv-
erymen and got their testimony on the
cost Of boarding horse. OF course the
opposing counsel objected and declared
such testimony to be incompetent on the
ground that the cost Of boarding a horse
is not the same as the cost of boarding
a cow
This the other attorney conceded, but
he explained that he was going ia follow
up the testimony Of the liveryman with
expert testimony to show how much less,
if any it costs to keep COW than Il
horse.
oh, if you're going to work on that
plan put in McEwen in judicial tones,
You might as well start in with elephants
and work down to cows by gradual
stages. Cleveland Leader
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-18
King Leopold,s Kindness

Fifth avenue art dealer said of King
Leopold Of Belgium:
In all this uproar of condemnation.
let me raise one little note of praise
King Leopold had superb and mcor-
ruptible taste. The chateau of Lakeu is
one of the finest in Europe. The cha.
teau at Cape r'errat, overlooking the
Mediterranean, between Nice and Monte
Carlo. established a new standard in
Riviera villas
As connoisseur of painting the King
was remarkable. aud several famous art.
lists We're spared years of r"ivation and
unrecognized struggle. thanks TO his gem
erous aid.
"A French artist once told me that
when he was quite unknown Leopold
admired a painting of his I'm the salon.
and got the artists address, and babe
him come with the picture on such and
such an afternoon to the Bristol
so To the Bristol, that quiet and sim
pie hotel IN the Place Ncndome that
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-18
As a Poet Views Matrimonv.

Edward Fitzgerald, the translator of
the Persian poet, Omar khayyam. was
ii more or less genial opponent eff matri-
mouy as Il state.
One day he said to his friend. Miss,
Ellen Churchyard of Woodbridge:
DO YOU know. Nell. what marriage
is?"
Miss Churchyard Thought not.
Chen I'll tell YOU" said he. Mar
riage is standing at ones desk. nicely
settled to work. when great hg bonnet
pushes in ut the door and asks you to 20
for walk with it,'-t'leyeland Leader
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-18
A Judicial Expert.

The native with a stogie met the ma
live with pipe.
.Howdy, ZebT" .quoth the stogie ma
tive Hear 'bout IN fuss down 10 tn
courthouse?"
Nope" drawled the man with the
pipe. What was it about ?"
why. Jim Simpson has been suing Alb
ner Hawey for alienatin' III affections
Of his wife, an ledge Musgrovc told tn
jury to bring in verdick of g cents
damages, cause he thought that was al
the damage was worth to Jim. An ,Jm's
wife got mad an threw chair at the
ledge an he had her arrested an put in
the cooler"
But didn't tn jedge 80 a leetle toe
far when he fixed her value SO low"
Not nj all, not at all. Y'see. he wa,
her first husband" ~ Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-18
DOG INGRATITUDE.
What a New Jersey Farmer Got for His
Kindness

Believing there was good luck in har-
boring stray dogs that appealed for
shelter. John Egglestrom Of Clinton. \.
r.. took ia one that came to his door 81,
last Saturday. The dog seemed CRATE
full We'll call him Nero" said Eggle-
strGn, Nero remained favorite until
shortly before dinner time yesterday.
The farmer. mis- daughter and son-in-Ia y
and his sons, John and Edward, were
sitting in the front room when they
heard IA scream from Mrs Egglestrom in
the kitchen. All started for the door.
fearing she had been scalded. They NEE
her in the hall Pointing toward the
Kitchen she cried, My roast" There
on the kitchen floor was Nero eating the
beef meant for the family dinner. Eg
gleStr0m tried To drive the animal out.
Nero fastened his teeth in the farmers
fancy Sunday Waistcoat, and tore ont
the front, The son-in-law stopped Ia
pick up the remains of the roast Nero
resented the action and Egglestrom's
daughter had to repair her husbands
trousers before he could 20 home.
Screams brought the hired man. He
counts himself lucky in escaping VITA
the loss of one of his boot tops. Nero
finished the roast in peace and then
sauntered toward Fairfield, probably 10
find new home and more beef Egg
glestrom has changed his mind about
tramp dogs.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-18
A Model Husband.

The bridegroom of year went down
10 his office one day grinnng all over his
face All morning long he hummcd and
whistled till his partner asked him what
he'd had.
MY wife told me this morning that I
am q model husband" he answered
proudly.
Il don't call that much nf ~ompIi-
ment."
I'D like to know why NOT
We'll, YOU just look that word model
up in the dictionary was the advice.
He did and this is what he read; Mod
el-A small pattern: a miniature of
something on Il larger scale -Iudeptud-
Fnt.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-18
He Got Work.

What We're YOU running for when |
saw you today. SAM"
Il heard of some work sab"
And did YOU get the joh, Sam -
Il sure did. boss"
What kind of work did you procure.
SAM"
Some washing for M wife "--Yonkers
Statesman.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-18

only kings, Pierpont Morgans and Wi
dpnerS patronize. the artist and his PIC
ture repaired duly.
king Leopold praised the picture
Then he said TO the young man;
".I'n buy it. What is It's price,
THE poor artist hesitated. Thought OF
demanding "A thourau! francs, then bold
IN SAID;
Two thousand francs. your majes-
ty.'
'.Thereupon Leopold. tactfully and del
.icately, taught the young man his real
wortll-Sayed him from selling for a song
for many years pictures that in his OLD
age he would, like Whistler, see sold for
fortunes
Ten thousand francs. said the
King. feignng 10 have misunderstood.
That and no more. he added, firmly.
If that is satisfactory, my secretary
will write YOU Il check
Pardon me. your majesty, stam-
mcred the young artist. j said two thou
sand francs. not ten thousand
But the King again feigned slight
deafness.
No he said. i never bargain. Ten
thousand or nothing.
And the money was duly paid. -
Washington Star
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-18
Nnt Tnn RIinh.

Angelina-Oh, dear! The diamond In
my engagement ring has got a nav
in It.
Edwin-Take no notice, daring
Love should be blind. you know.
Angelina-Yes but 1t hasn't got To
be stone blind
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-18

Lightning kills one-half of those il
strikes. while a few Of the Survivors
are rendered blind, deaf dumb or pap
TALLY paralyzed.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-18
London Weather.

eyes. this is had weather. said Sena-
tor Tillmam on a day of rain and sleet.
1T is nothing to London though.
Once, on dripping water day in
London. Il sulphur-brown or pea-soup fog
in the air. and everybody drenched to
the skin | sat on a bus top beside a
Parsec in red feZ,
when the Parsee got off, the driver
If the bus, touching his hat with his
whip. said to me:
"'Would YOU mind telin me, sir, what
sort o'chap that is?'
Hes Il Parsee,' said |. An Indian
YOU know; sun worshipper.'
'Worships the sun, does he, sir?' said
the wet aud shyering driver. i sup
pose he's come ere TO ave rest 2 -
Providence Journal.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-18
In the Country.

Mrs. Knicker-What do you suppose
II was that Katy did:
Mrs Bockcr-Left OF couTSe.-Har-
per'S Bazaar.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-18
Once Enough.

She-liistory repeats itself YOU know.
fIe-Nut always You never heard OF
a man clipping more than once. did YOU?
- NonkerS Statesman
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1910-07-11
PASTOR HANDLES BOUTS
WITHOUT ANY GLOVES
Dr. Ramsay of Grace Street Baptist Delivers Body Blow
Pugism from Pulpit Denouncng it Dallabc Busines--
Says Fight Must Stop.

Denouncing prize fighting as a
"ddmnable business. Rev. DIR. u. Nj.
Ramsey. pastor OF Grace street Bap-
fist church, declared from the pull
pit of this church Sunday night that
the time is coming wnen pugilism Will
be barred from every State IN the
Country.
To-day" he said. tens Of thou
sands of men and women are PANIED
and distressed by the evident reNer-
sion to barbarism as exhibited in our
national disgrace, the recent prize
tight. We shall be reaping bitter
fruit from that sowing for years to
come.
Suffering From Hot Box.
'Our trouble is that we are suffer
ing from a scourge of mad sensation
alism due to our oSerWrought ner-
vous condition We must be moving !;
we cannot ride fast enough or fly high
enough. We are suffering from hot
box as individuals and as nation
What is To be done TO relieve the sit
uation?
Business men should not go SO fast.
our homes should guard with a sa-
cred vigilance the fife OF the children,
and the colleges and schools have no
small part in the Hercuiean task. But
the main burden lies upon the shout
ders of two Of our Institutions name
ly, the pulpit and the press. Hand IN
hand they are walking down the CEN
turtles either as ministering angels or
else as demons whose breath is bis
tering the soul of youth. Rather let
their influence be as a gentle zephyr
tanning the cheeks Of age and youth
First as teachers. the press and
public must be in close sympathetic
touch with the age in which we live
In writing and speaking they must
deliver a message for our own times
and a gospel for our own age.
Must Lead Public Opinion.
Second. the pulpit and the press as
pubic teachers must recognize then
show how we must identify ourselves
with the people with whom we live
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1910-07-11

and labor Now comes the question
of our aim. Is il merely to please and
entertain Shah public sentiment lead
us and make lis the mere creatures Of
the unreasouing public
"The answer to this question is of
prime Importance. To those who hold
high views of the missions of the press
and pulpit it seems to me that there
is but one answer; namely. that they
must lead in shaping pubic opinion
ard in creating public sentiment. That
most effectualiy answers the position
taken by newspaper men for giving
us most objectionable matter. They
say they give what the public wants
And here the reading puolic must take
its share Of the blame. Alas, how
eagerly did the public drink In all that
the newspapers gave us OF the recent
prize fight in that Western town II
is said that in our own city there
gathered at the baseball park or the
evening of the Fourth many OF our
sentiment making citizens, and ii is
said that there were ministers among
them The object must have been to
get the details Of the fight between
black brute and the white brute IN
Nevada. But in many cases the daily
papers have created taste for this
most unwholesome reading The pub
lie fattens on what its feed upon"