davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19

own as has the Princess Patricia.
Over and over again has a husband
been selected for her by those wise in
statecraft, but she has bundled these
suitors off with slight ceremony and
has repeatedly declared that she will
have a husband of her own choosing
or none at all. She Is the most popu.
lar princess in England and was a
fayorite Of her uncle, King Edward.
Her name, which is a compliment to
ireland, alone makes her popular with
the people of that part of the empire.
The British government has a pur-
pose in sending to Canada a prince of
the royal blood. 1t is believed a gov
ernor general SO close to the throne
would tend to forward the empire
movement and bring the Dominion in
closer sympathy to the mother coun.
try. The governor general as a mat
ter OF fact has very little to do with
the government of Canada. He has
the power OF veto but never exercises
that right. Did he do so there would
be as great a commotion as would &C.
cur If the King in England should set
himself actively in opposition to the
elected government. But nevertheless
he has a tremendous influence, though
1t is operative only through social and
diplomatic channels. His salary is
$4,000 a year with an executive resi-
dence. Those governors general who
have been most popular and influential
have been those who have really come
to love the Dominion and its people
for themselves and have developed a
deep interest in their welfare. Wheth-
er the duke and his family can forget
the life in England to which he has
been accustomed remains to be seen.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
SIMPLE STATEMENT OF FACT
MIR. Johnson Unable to See Where In
Any Way He Had "Put His
Foot in It,"

1t is ommon to deplore the lack OF
humor in a person. Yet the very
want of it may save a certain amount
of embarrassment, as was the case
on a certain occasion with President
Johnson. "He was one day" says a
writer in Harper's Magazine, visit
ing my mother, and a friend, Mrs.
Knox, a widow, came in. She had
known Mr.. Johnson some years be-
fore, when he was a member Of the
legislature, but they had not met since
then.
After mutual recognition, Mr..
johnson said, How is Mr.. Knox? l
have not seer him lately
"He has been dead six years said
Mrs. Knox.
"T thought I hadn't seen hin on
the street. said Mr.. Johnson.
when Mrs. Knox left, my mother
said, laughing, That vas a funny mis-
take of yours about Mr.. Knox
What mistake did 1 maker said
Johnson. 4 said 1 hadn't seen him on
the street, and l hadn't"
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
A New Version.

Lawyers have a peculiar system OF
abbreviation, such words a. trustees.
executors being cut down to trees,
exors, and admors. This practise led
to an amusing slip on the part of a
solicitor who, somewhat late in life,
abandoned his profession and entered
the church. A few Sundays after his
ordination he startled his congrega-
ton while reading the lesson by deliv-
ering one of the passages as follows:
81 see men as trustees walking"
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
A Fittinq Design.

Il want an estimate on 10000 letter
heads" said the professionallooking
man with the silk hat.
"Any special design. asked the en-
graver.
Eyes, sir" replied the caller. I'm
the upper 1eft-hand corner l want a
catchy cut of Patrick Henry making
his memorable speech, and in dis
tinct letters, under the cut, his soul
inspiring words, Give me liberty or
give me death You see," he added,
handing a card to the engraver, I'm
a divorce lawyer, and want some
thing ting."-Lippincotts.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
JONES MODEL is COMPLETED.
Sculptor Finishes His Work on the
Heroic Statue of the Great
Naval Commander.

New York. - Charles H. NiehnuS,
the New York sculptor, has fin
ished his working model for his heroic
bronze statue of John Paul Jones, for
which Congress appropriated $50, 900,
and which will be unveiled next
spring at the entrance to Potomac
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
Another Tradition Exploded.

Two Englishmen were resting at the
RED Horse Inn" at Standardization.
One of them discovered a print pic
turing a low tumbling building under
meath which was printed: "The House
in Which Shakespeare Was Born"
Turning to his friend in mild surprise
he pointed to the print. His friend ex-
hibited equal surprise, and called a
waiter who assured them OF the &C
curacy of the inscription,
"'Pon my word," said the observ-
ing Englishman, shaking his head du-
biously, II thought he was born in a
mangeri"-Success Magazine.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
Advice.

Doctor" cried little Bingle, over
his telephone, my wife has lost her
voice. What the dickens shall l do?"
why" said the doctor, gravely, "if
1 were you I'd remember the fact when
Thanksgiving Day m around, and
act accordingly"
Whereupon the doctor chuckled as
he charged little Bingle two dollars for
professional services.-Harper's Week
1y
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
MAY RULE CANADA
Duke of Connaught Likely to Be
Governor General.
Popular Brother of the Late King
Edward Is Reported to Be Slated
for Head of the Dominion
Government.

Ottawa, Can.-If the present pro-
gram Is adhered to the next gov
ernor general of Canada Will be
the Duke of C%onnaught, brother OF the
ate King Edward. Such was the de-
sire of the deceased monarch, and the
probabilities are that the new King
will not oppose the program. Can
ada appreciates the distinguished hon.
or of having at the head of her gov
eminent as the representative OF the
mother country so eminent a member
of the royal family. Never before has
one of the royal family occupied such
a position, though Queen Victoria's
daughter, a sister of the duke, was
for years a resident of the Dominion
when her husband, the Marquis of
Lorne. now the Duke of Argyle, was
governor general. At the same time
the Canadians appreciate that society
affairs at Rideau Hall, or Government
House as it is sometimes called, the
official residence of his excellency at
Ottawa, will be upon a much grander
scale than in the past, and that 1t will
cost a pretty penny for those who try
to be in the swim. Ottawa, more than
ever, will become the social center.
The Duke of Connaught is the only
surviving son of Queen Victoria and is
60 years old. Her majesty had nine
children, of whom the eldest vas
Princess Victoria, mother of Emperor
William; she died in 1901. The Sec
ond child was the late King Edward.
The Princess Alice Maud Mary, moth
er of the present Czarina of Russia,
died in 1876. Alfred, Duke of Edin-
burg, died in 1900. Leopold, Duke of
Albany, died in 1884. Beside the Duke
of Connaught there survive Helena,
Princess Christian of Schleswig-Hol-
stein; Louise, Duchess of Argyle, and
Beatrice, now Princess Henry of Bat
tenberg.
The Duke of Connaught married
Princess Louise of Prussia in 1879,
and has three children. His eldest
daughter is Margaret, wife of Gus.
tavus Adolphus of Sweden. His son is
Prince Arthur Patrick, and his young
er daughter is the beautiful and de-
cidedly independent Princess Victoria
Patricia.
No princess in Europe has given
such evidence of having a will of her
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
TUBERCULOSIS IN THE PRISON
Per Gent. of Sufferers Is Enormous
and There Seems but One
Remedy.

From several Investigations that
have been made by the National AS
sociation for the Study and Proven
tion of tuberculosis, it is estimated
that on an average about fifteen per
cent. CT the prison population of the
country is afflicted with tuberculosis.
On this basis, out of the 10000 prison
ers housed in the penal institutions
of the United States at any given
time, not less than 10000 are infected
with this disease. If the Philippine
islands and other insular possessions
were taken into consideration the
number would be much larger. Some
of the prisons of Pennsylvania, Kan
sas and Ohio show such shocking con-
ditions with reference to tuberculosis
that many wardens admit that these
places of detention are death traps.
Similar conditions could be found in
almost every state, and In the major
ity of cases the only sure remedy Is
the destruction of the old buildings
and the erection of new ones.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
Quotation Marks.

Senator Beveridge, In an after-din.
ner speech in Cleveland, said Of a cor
rupt politician:
1.-THE mans excuse is as absurd as
the excuse that a certain minister Of
fered on being convicted Of plagiar-
Ism.
Brethren said this minister, cit
Is true that 1 occasionally borrow for
my sermons, but 1 always acknowl-
edge the fact in the pulpit by raising
two fingers at the beginning and two
at the end of the borrowed matter,
thus indicating that it is quoted"
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
Red Dress Anglers Bull.

Miss Margaret Alpaugh and Miss
Rachael South were chased by a bull
near Trenton because the animals
attention was attracted by a e
dress worn by the infant son of Farm
er Plantation Kelly, whom the girls
took for an outing. Both girls real
lied that if they did not beat a hasty
retreat they were in imminent dan
ger. They climbed a large tree, Miss
Alpaugh dragging her baby charge az
ter her. The trio remained IN n
branches for several hours before a
farmer drove the Infatuated animal
away.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
All Around the State.

Prof. J. D. Gray has been elected
principal Of the Annandale public
school.
The Pennington fire department
will net about $4,000 by their recent
carnival
From an orchard of 40 peach trees
Robert M. Snyder OF Mcorestown has
picked 1875 baskets.
The new brick schoolhouse at Dob
bins will be dedicated with appro-
pirate ceremonies September 8.
Burlington county has been al
lowed an additional appropriation of
$4,000 by the state road commission.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
Less Lavish.

81 saw Uncle Toms Cabin played
recently"
"So?"
81 think I'll read the book"
"You nay be disappointed. The
book mentions only one little Eva and
one Lawyer Marks. Louisville Cour-
~ier-Journal.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
One Side Enough.

Senator William Alden Smith tells
of an Irish justice of the peace out
in Michigan. In a trial the evidence
was all in and the plaintiffs attorney
had made a long and very eloquent
argument, when the lawyer acting for
the defense arose.
what are you doing?" asked the
justice, as the lawyer began.
Going to present our side of the
case"
81 don't want to hear both sides ar
gued. 1t has a tindency to confuse
the OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
caterpiIIars Ravase Trees.

Washington.-Shade trees of Wash
lngton, famed for their number and
beauty, are undergoing an attack from
a horde of caterpillars. The trees are
being stripped of their foliage rapidly.
So numerous are the pests that they
have baff1ed the caretakers' efforts to
cope With them. Property owners
have Joined in the attempt to repel
the invaders, but it seems that there
Is little chance to prevail against
them. Some fear for the lives of the
trees is expressed.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
srRANGLEs TWO MEN TO DEATH.
Giant Plumber Crushes Out Life OF
Adversaries With Hands

Edwardsville, Ill.-A combat be.
tween a giant and two ordinary-slzed
men in the village of Marine ended
when John Burton, a plumber, SIX
feet three inches high, weighing 220
pounds, seized Gus Wentz and Louis
Weibrecht in his powerful hands and
choked them to death. They screamed
and struggled, but the giant strangleo
them, one after the other, before
their friends.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
Thinks He Has Big Income.

John Calvin Martin, who lives in
the Wollerton apartments, Ninety
sixth street and Broadway, New York,
was adjudged insane at Paterson by
Judge Hunt, and committed to a pri-
vite sanitarium. He is a coal dealer
in New York, and for some time past
has been making stump speeches in
the streets to workingmen in Pater-
son and in Atlantic City. He believes
that he has a yearly income of $780,
600.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE DEAD.
Heroine of Crimean War Hospitals 80
Years Old.

London. - Florence Nightingale,
the heroine of the Crimean war and
the foundress of the modern system
of army field hospitals, died here sun
day in her n~inety-frst years. She
was v married, having devoted
her life to the cause. of saving life and
diminishing suffering in times OF war
and pestilence and to the general I'M
provement of hospital service at all
times and everywhere.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19

to-daya well woman."-Mrs. WILLIAM
AHRENs, 988 W. 21st St., Chicago, Ill.
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound, made from native roots and
herbs, contains no narcotics or harm
full drugs, and to-day holds the record
for the largest number of actual cures
of female diseases Of any similar medi-
zine in the country, and thousands Of
voluntary testimonials are on file in
the Pinkham laboratory at Lynn,
Mass, from women who have been
cured fron almost every form Of
female complaints, Inflammation, ul-
ceration, displacements, fbroid tumors.
Irregularities, periodic pains, backache,
Indigestion and nervous prostration.
Every such suffering woman owes it to
herself to give Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound a trial.
If you would like special advice
Rboutyour case write a confiden.
hal letter to Mrs. Pinkham, at
Lynn, Mass. Her advice is Free
and always helpful.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
And They Wondered!

Judge Nicholas Longworth, who used
to sit on Ohio"s supreme bench, looked
unnaturally grave, and a neighbor, in
recognition of his facial depression,
named a pet owl Judge Longworth-"
1t was the very next day that an ex-
clLou maid broke up his wife's garden
party. "Oh, madam" said she. Ma
dam! Judge Longworth has laid an
egg"
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
The Music Was Fatal.

A New York politician once found
1t necessary to attend an entertain
ment at an orphans home and he was
having "a bad time of it. The selec-
ton by the boys band was particular
ly distressing. Turning to a friend,
the politician said with a shudder,
mo wonder they are orphans."-Suc-
cess.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
SAVINGS A N CLOSED.
Cotton Mill Workers See Their De.
posts in Jeopardy:

B~iddeford, Me.-A decided sensa-
ton was created in Biddeford and
Saco when it was oa5cially announced
that the York County Savings bank
of this city had closed its doors be-
cause of alleged Irregularities in the
accounts of Richmond H. Ingersoll,
for fifty years treasurer of the insti-
tuition and one of the leading citizens
of Biddeford.
Deposits of the bank, according to
the last statement, amounted to
$1,2O9,831 The reserve fund was
$4,000, and there were undivided
profits of $22,577. Most of the de-
positors are mill workers in the
Biddeford and Saco cotton mills, and
their individual deposits are small.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19

chair for 20 weeks. So intense was
the pain when l moved that 1 thought
I would pass away. The kidney action
was irregular and the secretions
scalded. Three doctors gave me no
relief. Doan's Kidney Pills cured me,
and for ten years the cure has been
permanent"
Remember the name-Doan's. For
sale by all dealers. so cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo. N. Y.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
Old Women Have Forty Cats,

London.-Some 40 cats were found
by a relieving officer running about
the home of two old women at Gort-
more, Tyrone. Six were sitting on a
stove beside a goat, while numbers
were lying dead or dying in a field
near by.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
4 fieteroqeneoua peopIe.

India is not a nation, but simply a
collection of heterogeneous people.
The mass of the population in spite
of their sun-tanned skins, are Aryans,
but the yellow rae is represented on
the northeast borders, while the Caro-
mandel coast section consists In large
part of the colored race.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
Stand at Outdoor Opera Collapsed.

Warsaw, Ind.-Miss Nina Darling
of Hopkinsville, KY, and Mrs. Geo.
Beal of Warsaw were severely IN
jured, 200 persons were shaken n
5000 were thrown into a commotion
when the stand at an outdoor per-
Torrance of opera at Winona lake
collapsed.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
Opinions Aired.

Were the commencement exer
cises interesting?"
VERY. The time was divided be-
tween advice from public men on the
selection of a career and suggestions
from graduates on how to run the
government"
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
Birds Powerful Voice.

There is a bird known as the naked.
throated bell bird, that has such a
powerful voice that it can be heard
three miles away. 1t is loud and
piercing and has been likened to the
sound produced by a blacksmith
triking an anvil.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
Stole O Auto.

Thomas H. Blodgett of Orange re-
ported to the police that his new
$4,000 automobile had been stolen
from the Atkinson garage by a
strange negro.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
oId-Time Clocks Built to Last.

oId-Time Clocks Built to Last.
A pendulum clock made in 1917. ana
once owned by Cromwell, Is preserved
today in Philadelphia; and another.
made in Germany in 1640, was not
long ago doctored by a Yankee CLOCK
maker, and is running for six
at a time without winding.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19

soreness and urinary
troubles. These are
the warnings = ma
lures signals for
help. Doan's Kid.
ney Pills should be
used at the first
sign.
A. Treitlein, "a
Rosett St., New Ha-
ven, Conn.,, says: II
uyac Dropnpd I'M in q
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
Ice Conditions Are Bad.

Seattle, Wash.-The steamer Mack.
NAV. with 100000 in gold bullion
picked up at Kotzebue sound ports,
has arrived from Nome. Officers of
the Mackinaw report the worst ice
conditions in Boring strait In II
wears.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
G. A. R. VETERANS INDIGNANT.

Movement to Remain Away From AT.
lantic City Encampment spreads.
Pittsburg. - Seven local Grand
Army posts have thus far decided not
to attend the annual G. A. r. encamp-
ment at Atlantic City in September IN
a body, but to send delegates only,
owing to the refusal of the railroads
to make low rates for the gathering.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
II Hannens In Russia.

Things are done differently In Rus
STA than in this country. A jockey
was seen to pull his mount in a race
on one of the tracks recently and one
of the men who had bet on the horse
promptly shot him.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
Look Out.

The habit of puckering up the lips
Is said to be fatal to the contour of a
beautiful mouth, for the lips are SO
flexible that after a while the pucker-
ing habit becomes second nature to
them and they stay puckered. b
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
The RationaI Fourth.

American Parents Tin the year
1S10)-Ebenezer, my boy, give me
that blunderbuss-I'm afraid you
might hurt yourself-and shoot of
that horse pistol instead.-Puck.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
DYSPEPSIA

"Having taken your wonderful Casca-
Yets' for three months and being entirely
cured of stomach catarrh and dyspepsia,
/ think a word of praise is due to
sCascarets' for their wonderful compost
ton. 1 have taken numerous other so
called remedies but without avail, and !
find that Cascarets relieve more in a day
than ali the others I have taken wouldin
a year" James McGune,
Io8 Mercer St., Jersey City, NJ.
Pleasant, Palatable, Potent. Taste Good.
Do Good. Never Sicken, Weaken or Gripe.
loo. 25c, Soc. Never sold IN bulk. The gem
uine tablet stamped CCC. Guaranteed 20
cure or your money back. 9S
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19

Red, Weak, Weary, Watery Eyes.
Relieved By Murine Eye Remedy. Try
Murine For Your Eye Troubles You win
Lik Murine. 1t Soothes. Soc at Your
Druggists. Write For Eye Books. Free.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19

One of the first necessities Of our
life. is that we grow upward like men.
When we cease to aspire we descend
in the scale.-Freston.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
Nipped In the Bud.
be about $S5.

Nipped In the Bud.
The Minister (stopping- to teal
No, thank you, 1 must decline on the
cucumbers.
Little Tommie-Guess you're afraid
of the tummy ache, but you don't need
to be, cuz when l have it ann al
ways rubs-" {! T! D-Boston Her
aid.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19

my friend" said the solemn man
on the railroad tran. do you drink
intoxicating liquors?"
"Sure!" cried the convivial chap.
Much obliged for the invitation. Got
a flask with your
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19

COrS SAID i could nos
get well unless I
had an operation.
4 knew ] could not
stand the strain of
so I wrote to
you sometime ago
about my health
and you told me
what to do. After
Lydia E.
|Pinkham'S Vegeta-
BILE Compound and
BLOOD p1Irifar T nm
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
Treasure.

"Your new maid looks very dis
Greet"
Indeed. she Is. She ever knocks
at all the drawers before opening
them."-Pele Mele.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
Tamlnu Bad Luck.

"Abusin' yoh bad luck" said Uncle
Eben. lis li'ble to git it so tame dat
it'll follow you aroun' like q yallef
dog.'--Washington Star.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19

There can be no greater mistake
than to suppose that the man with
$1,000,000 is a million times happier
than the mar with one dollar.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces infiamma-
ton, allays pain, cures wind collie, CSC a bottle.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
At h Shore.

Polly-I wonder how Cholly man
ages to keep that wide-brimmed straw
on in a wind like this.
Dolly-Vacuum pressure.-Judge.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
NATURES SIGNALS.

The first indication of kidney dis
order is often backache. Then comes
pain in the hips and sides, lameness,
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
Olive Creme.

The olive tree produces alternate
crops. a full yield generally being
followed by a scanty one the next
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19

A woman may Oh may not try to
avoid muddy crossings; it all depends
upon her understanding.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19

The lamb that plays around a mint
bed temptS fate.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
3 eco No. Erom Cbo,era.

st. Petersburg.-From July ~ IN
til August 6, 20,66S cases OF choiera
were reported throughout RUSSIA.
with $3.50 deaths.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19

Fsrs Advanced In Value.
Rabbit furs have doubled in value
within Il last few years, while some
skins hi advanced 500 per cent.
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19

k3ln7zNnI2

Makes the skin soft as velvet Improves any
complexion. Best shampoo made. Cures most
skin eruptions-
Munyon's Hair Invigorator cures dandrud,
stops hair from falling out, makes hair grow.
II you have Dyspepsia. or any liver trouble,
use Munyon's Paw-Paw Pills. They cure BIZ
| iousness, CONSTIPATION and drive all impurities
from the blood. - MUNYON'S HOMEOPATHIC
HOME REMEDY CO.. PHILADELPHIA. Pa
The Penn's Grove record., 1910-08-19
Owes
] HER :.
LIFE TO
Lydia e. Pinkh
Vegetable Cornpol

Chicago, Hl.-"I was troubled with
falling and Inflammation, and the doc