davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07
FROM THE MOUTHS OF BABES
Johnny Probably Told the Truth, but
at DreadfuIIy Inopportune
Time.

A teacher in one of the lower grade
schools was entertaining two visitors
to the classroom. Several days pre-
viously the teacher had furnished
amusement and at the same time in
creased the childrens store of knowl-
edge by a series of questions of the
following nature:
What do we sit on that rhymes
with hair?"
Some child would answer: Chair"
Today the visitors would be pleased
to observe how readily the pupils
could answer.
What do l wear on my head that
rhymes with cat?' asked the instruct
ress.
Up went the hand of boy with red
hair.
Well, Johnny" said she. you may
tell us"
Johnny arose and appeared fright
ened
Its rat he blurted.
And then the tableau.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07
Hypnotic rriumph.

A doctor related the following story:
II had patient who was very Ill ana
who ought to bave gore to warmer
climate, but whose means were insult
ficient, SO l resolved to try what hyp-
notism would do for him. I had a
large sun painted on the ceiling of his
room and by suggestions induced him
to thing 1t was the sun which would
cure him. The ruse succeeded. and he
was getting better rapidly when one
day on my arrival l found he was
dead"
Did it fail after all. then?" asked
the doctors hearers.
NO" replied the doctor; "he died of
sunStroke"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07

had become his god. He had no JOY in
life, no friends or home, but he had
vast wealth..
The sofa tells of the old mans WOO
ing, and of her wards" final sacrifice.
Hard resistance against either vir-
tue or vice must make a difference in
our makeup" unused the sofa, but she
looked down vista of years. seeing
many horrible sights; perhaps in time,
not able to keep up the struggle, she
would fall to such horrible depths-or
else, gaining a few steps. become hard,
fiat and uninterest!ng. To lose ones
principal esthetic charm is perhaps
best, if not safest, when married to an
old man"
The misery of her existence soon be-
gan to dawn on her. She pictured her
self the slave of her money-mad mas
ter, and cried out in bitterness against
the oppression of her soul.
Long to GIoat.
To cringe no more to brutality, how
no more to their dreadful commands. !"
are her yearning reflections. IF to
wish were only to do. If-but Moves,
what a sweet sensation 1t would be to
plunge a knife into his very heart, deep
down, without fail, and hear the blade
sing and sizzle as it ran gayly into his
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07
From Current Literature.

pant Of the throne of Great Britain,
ant only one, has been made much of
by the innumerable writer's who have
sketchad his personality for some years
past-h!s fondncss for domestic life.
The late King of England was not what
would be deemed a typically devoted
husband and father. His successor is
little known in any other capacity.
George ", in this 45th year of his age,
finds himself the parent Of six children,
the Oldest 9 lad well along in his teens
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07
Mrs. Roosevelt.

Paris Letter to London Truth.
Mrs Roosevelt wears wonderfully
well. One could not guess from her APP
pearance that she will next year be en-
titled to silver-wcdding presents and
congratulation. Her eldest son is to be
married on her return to the States
Her appearance is extremely agreeable
What is SO remarkable in her face is
Its exceptional capacity to show pleas
ure In lighting up. The features are of
regular proportion and we'll modelled
and bear out her claim to French am
cestry-Huguenot, by the way. The
deep commissioners are distinctly
French and may be thought to denote
a sense of the ridiculous finer than that
of the ex-president. Her comeliness is
refined
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07


lightning Rods on the White House.
The White House is going to have
lightning rods. They will be put on
some time this summer. The distin-
guished occupants of the mansion past
and present have never been pro-
tected against Jupiter's bolts. The rods
will be put on every part Of the build
ing, except the low Offices where the
president transacts his official bust
ness. Col. Spencer S. Colby, United
States superintendent of public
grounds and buildings, persuaded Mr..
Taft that the White House ought to
be equipped with the rods and execu-
tive approval was given The cost
will be between $500 and $600.-Phils
delphia North American.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07
High School IS Educational Center

fly as a sort of nephew, and always asks
him IL he won't have ride when he hap
pens to drive by. All the kindly human
ity Of the place sleeps into him-far more
probably, than he realizes at the tine. He
can't quite escape observing that there is
illness and failure in the world as we'll as
football heroes and banjo clubs, and his
own enthusiasms are set against saving
background of men with lines in their
faces who have to hustle to pay rent and
coal bills. He is part, in short. of n com
monwealth instead of cult; a school
boy instead of a college man" in NINA
ture.
Also, probably, he is indifferently taught
crude in manners and clothes, and al
though he may go down to college with a
general knowledge of human nature, and
an instructive democracy which his more
specially prepared classmates may not ac-
quire until years after they have left col
ege, he goes awkwardly, like a tourist
suddenly stepping into Paris or Timbuctoo
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07
WOMAN SAFE Lock EXPERT.
Miss Darling, Of Portland, the onI

Miss Darling, Of Portland, the Only
One Of her Sex in the Business.
From the Portland Oregonian.
The unique distinction of being the
only woman safe lock expert in the
world and the most expert at that bust
ness OF any man or woman living is
that claimed by Miss Stella Darling. a
young Portland woman. Solving COM
bnations Is a second nature with Miss
Darling, and so capable is she that a
we'll known manufacturers agent here
| pays here a handsome salary.
| Whenever the locks on the various
vaults and safes Of the banks express
companies and business houses In the
city refuse to respond to the usual
number of twists and turns of the
| tearing their hair and saying naughty
| things, step to the telephone and call
| for Miss Darling. She takes a few
| tools and goes to the street and number
! given
With an Unborn knowledge of the
| mechanism and its whims, Miss Darl-
ing examines it critically and listens
| to an explanation Of the difficulty.
| With a smile that is contagious. she
puts her alligator handbag on nearby
desk, removes her gloves. and APP
proaches the box Of steel. After a few
deft turns OF the combination-and she
knows most of them; it is more than
! likely that she set this one--the bolt
| may refuse to move. She smiles at her
failure, and as If by some mutual UNI
| derstanding between safe and woman,
| it opens at her second attempt.
| To show the high esteem in which
| she Is held by manufacturers through
the United States. it is only necessary
| to state that she is the recipient of u
number of costly and beautiful Jewels
which have been given to her from
time. to time. 1t is only her love for
Portland that has prevented her from
accepting lucrative offers in distant
cities.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07
Authority on SOUP.

A little boy, promoted to company
dinner at the family table, enjoyed
his oyster cream hugely until he came
to an unrecognized object at the bot
tom of the plate
What is it? Oh, just an oyster,
dear responded the child's mother.
sharply appealed to.
why did Dora put it in?''
"Oh. to make the soup good"
"She can leave it out next time"
the TIM epicure decided. THE soups
good enough without. Exchange.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07
Ne1u Ki11q as Family Man

and the youngest boy still in short
dresses except on the ceremonial occa-
sions when he is rugged out in kits
or in a sailors uniform. The new queen
has always been as fond of the con-
ventional family life as is her consort.
Between them, they have reared their
offspring. This, observes recent writ
er in the Vienna Neue Freie Presse. is
the whole story of the pair, and il has
been varied only by the occasional long
tours to distant parts of the British
Empire which devolved upon the new
monarch when he held the rank and
| title Of Prince Of Wales.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07
LOVED BASEBALL
MORE Than BABY;
DIVORCE DENIED
Scores Witnesses Who volun.
teer Their Testimony in Eff
forts to Break Up Happy
Homes.

Denver, Colo. Special: "Did you
Know. madam, that a woman can make
out of man whatever she wants to?
!old mat ever occur to you, now or be-
lore you concluded to bring this di
Norce? don't believe YOU ever thought
of it,
Witnesses who come into court vol
unfairly to give testimony in an effort
to break up a homo ought to be asham-
ed of themselves. That is the view this
court takes of such proceedings. do
not believe that this plaintiff has been
beaten up. as She says; neither do /
care to hear anything more about this
case. This court is a good judge of
human nature and the court is aware
that there is too much of witnesses
coming in and testifying i'm these mat
ters
The court believes that these young
people should be living together at
home as husband and wife, and that a
divorce is not necessary. When a hus-
band and wife are as young as are this
husband and wife, they sometimes need
the counsel of older persons. 1t seems
that was not had in this instance.
A young wife should think more
| about her husband and her baby than
She does about ball game. When she
does not 1t is pitiful condition of at
fairs. There is too much frivolity these
days among young people, especially
v
who are not millionaires and who have
to work to provide for their families.
Dung women want to dress in such
cases as finely as do their more for
tunate sisters among the wealthy ones
are accustomed to dress. Some of them
do-many of them do--When their hus-
bands are compelled to work as labor
ers at moderate wages. 1t has got 50
now that young men are afraid to mar
| ry Tor fear that they will not be able
to keep their wives in the affuence
Whlch theN may expect or wish to live.
Should Not Be a Fan.
There is no reason why young
woman should go away from home
| three or four times a week, leave her
baby at home, or at her mothers or
with neighbors, just so that she may
be enabled to attend ball game A
| young Wife who does this cannot ex-
| poet that her husband will approve of
1t when he finds 1t out. If young man
\ Is compelled to work hard for the
| means to support his wife and family.
+! then that wife should stay at home and
care for her household duties. She
should be there to prepare his break
| fasts and to have his lunch bucket
ready for him when he has to leave in
the morning. She should be there with
a warm dinner ready for him when he
arrives home in the evening from his
work. She should not be running about
somewhere and neglecting her home.
| Her place is there and she should he.
| there to assist IN making that home a
happy one.
There are a few women-there are
some women who are willing to do this
when they marry a young man, but
| there are great many who are not
willing to do so.
In cases of this kind. The cour. can't
| make YOU happy IF Won ul1arre1 that
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07
With the Auiators

Chicago complains of not having seen
any aeroplane flights. Tut, tut! it's only
little villages that have them.-St. Louis
Times
Will English and French cross-channel
war maneuvers with areoplanes be the
next thing on the program? We guess
not.-Cleveland Leader
An aviator is now frequently referred
to as an airman, which seems a good
enough name, fly guy being perhaps a
little slangy.-New York American.
There is talk of arranging an aeroplane
race from New York to Chicago. It is
easy to understand why areonauts should
wish to fly from New York. but some peo-
pie will find difficulty in figuring out why
to Chicago.-New Orleans Tinlea-D emG-
crat.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07
German Alcohol Stills.

An authority on alcohol stills says
that there are 10000 farm stills in
operation on as many farms in Ger
many. The German government per-
mits the farmer to produce a certain
amount Of grain or potato alcohol, the
amount depending upon the size and
location Of the farm and the annual
demand for the product, upon the pay
ment of reduced revenue tax. Alco-
hol distilled in excess of the quantity
allowed is subject to the higher rate
Of taxation. Denatured alcohol, how
ever, is not subject to any tax.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07

MRS. SUSANNA DEAN
Mrs. Dean, OF Chicago, widow of John
pan, who died is in possibly
the cosiest diary
sations of
IS worth the difference between ss35o which Mrs.
compromise and her
Dean wanted her Her
daughters,
diary settlement Of the action
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07
Near Philosophy

From the Sioux City Tribune
Life's failures help in the making Of
successful pessinists.
Sometimes it is just as important to
let go of an opportunity as to grasp it..
While the wage. of sin is death it
job.
Perhaps more people would look for
the comet if 1t cost something to take
peep.
What some people need to learn is
the difference between ambition and
discomfort.
No one has been able to figure out
why heaven seems so much further
away than the other place.
The handwriting on the wall is not
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07

DR.. Perce's pleasant Pellets cure constipation.
Constipation is the canse of many diseases Cure
the cause and you cure the disease. Easy to take.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07

Don't throw kisses, my boy; deliver
them in person
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07

Hens are not credited with having
much intelligence, but they don't hang
out until midnight to see the comet.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07

Mrs. winslow's Soothing Syrup.
Illumination aliay rs pain cures wind cole sc 6otie
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07

Nothing about children ever becomes
pnbearable unless they belong to othey
peopls.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07

Ennui is the price we pay for knowl-
edge.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07

Poppies might be considered as beau
tiful as roses If they were surrounded
by thofns to ward off assault.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07

The more frequent appearance of pas
sengers in aeroplanes brings the day of
practical air transportation appreciably
nearer.-New York World.
The steady procession of new aviation
prizes will be followed soon by a steady
procession of aviators winning them.
little lure is enough to provide new rec
ords and unique accomplshments.-Tr
Record.
1t is no more difficult to fly over water
than over land, but the watering place is
softer when you light unexpectedly than
is the landing place.-St. Louis Star
These fat aviation prizes are going ia
put good many men in the air and we
rather expect to see some of them put
under the grosnd.-Houston Post.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07

Clara-He's kind-hearted automo-
bilist, isn't he?
Clarence-Expectiona so. / new
er knew him to run over even child
unless he was in hurry.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07

A self-satisfied man is one who is
self-deceived into believing that his
molehill is mountain.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07
The Luggage question.

INC Luggage 0US6tIOUs
Delaney Nicoll, lawyer, is always
a well-dressed man, and abominates q
slovenly appearance. At the Union
club he said of westerner one day:
He has come on to New York for
a week and don't believe he has
brought stitch of luggage with him .
Here Mr.. Nicoll smiled.
Unless, indeed" he added. hes
slowed something in the large bags
he carries in the knees of his trou-
sers."
Wrong Angle.
There's bright side to every
thing"
"A bright side! BAIL"
"Well, there Is"
DO you mean to tell me, doctor,
that there is bright side to my hav-
ing had my leg amputated?"
Indeed, there is; and if you could
put yourself in my place you could
really see it."
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07

The best boy under the SUM-" may
be a terror when the stars are out.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07

1t Is favorable sign OF the times
that so few girls are willing to be
rescued from drowning by married
men.
1t is strange how so many people
who are dyspeptic at meal time sur
vive a Dutch lunch at midnight with
plenty of trimmings
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07
Removed by Lydia E. Pink
ham Vegetable Compound

Holly Springs, Miss. Words are
inadequate for me to express what
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07

half SO threatening to most people as
the love letters which have gone be-
yond their power to recall.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07

Mrs. Viewers testimony brought out
the fact that her husband employed in
the construction department OF the
Colorado Telephone company at daily
salary of 1925, had paid $15 apiece
for two ostrich plumes, Sa5 ror hat,
had bought her clothing, shoes, looked
after the needs of the child and had
provided for the household expenses.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1910-07-07

THE object of her contemplation, the
latter day philosophy, was an old man
who had known her father from boy
hood. He had spent his whole life. so
they told me. getting money. Money
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1910-03-24

for review the order Of Justice Swayze
compelling the National Packing Com
pany. Armour 4 Co. swift a Co. and
Morris 4 Co. 10 produce their books
in this state next Friday for inspection
by the Hudson county Grand Jury. The
proceedings came before the court on
the return Of a rule to show cause why
the writ Of certiorari should not be al
lowed bur II was agreed by counsel
for both sides that the argumen; should
thus dispensing finally Of Ihe case no far
a. the supreme Court il concerned. The
record will be 80 arranged that an appeal
may he taken by either side direct TO the
Court of Errors and Appeals.
Richard ' LindabuTy and MIR Inter
myer presented the arguments on behalf
of the four defendant corporations IL
" Rs suggested ny Mr. TnteTmyeF that
should the courts ~ the state Justify
such procedure "a that instituted by
Mr. Garven Il would have the effect Of
driving away from New Jersey all cor
porations except those intending actually
TO conduct their business m the STATE
II corporations were Ia he harassed by
being compelled To bring their book =
into the safe Ia satisfy mere fishing
expeditions Mr. Untermyer said IL would
not take them long to 60 elseW here a.
New Jersey would then be the worst place
In the country for corporations.
The Court gave counsel for each side
five days within which to file briefs sup
plementing their oral arguments
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1910-03-24
Mrs. WIHKtFS PsRENTU@E.
4 Ouns~I for q. o.. GrOu~r SIin COnteStIng
Her HrIrSIlip to the reuse millions.

SYRACUSE. March 3 An alleged copy
~ ~" ,"rtIn'ate - tho hirth 81 Mr.
John II McNICka-. formerly Dorot hea
Edga-ita Grouse. has h'.n s~cured hy
Attorney Frank & Sargent. counsel for
charles l.. CruuS" Of thus CITY. who n
cont"-tinG ia" h.irship 90 Mrs.. McNickar
Ind the settlement nTd.' with her six-
teen ycE-- ago.
The Cer'ifi,E'" purports to show that
Doroihsa EdRL-.'a Wa horn IN 50 ~
HAStIng- ou ~" ~"A England Her
father. DAVID Edgar Wilson was New
York stock hruk"- H- ~ now dead
The mother. u b. alleged. WIS Mrs EulF
Henrietta Wilson. who aft"-WArd h..CRns
th. wlf. 81 ~" Syra"uso millionaire n
EdEA- Grouse Mr. Wilson was divorced
IN England and subsequently, narri~d
an Austrian IT the name of kostsrlitz.
who also d!cd 81. ~ now Countess
Eula n PojulICka
Tho Lincoln Trust COMPANY - Now
York. custodian Of IA. Grouse funds
- protect itE"f brought suit IN the IA
ture Of an int"rpi"sd"- 20 determine 10
whom ~ shall paw "a" MONEYS under the
recent decision - the courts IN the Grouse
case
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1910-03-24
The Weather.

W-rt = ~ 80, o-ruy cloudy ,ss'srdsy
-.o-u.r- long thr middr Nuanue 'OEst hut
o. ,.r.rr| 80 Hud rrrr'rI' 'sIr weHusr o."
..I.i .n .I q, tons V~s'a ard 10 beS ond me
sns-.-.iHpI l...-r
-, r-,.. I'D. w, rirf over Qushec -Hd es,t
r-r li-f.f.p .ua -y.rI over the Atlantic ard
.,..' ~'.'T,
60. 20 ..lIn - ror a.ds-Hbf" depth vas zen
.r.I o,'- northern Nor'h Dakota causing cloud
.,.r 90 -pr.' Hgfi ria 10 rss northern Rorky
Mountain. Tr'r. 49, rain hl-o On the PAcinc
coast
10 wre .,o~r .- no lske regions northern
s@a 'uf. HTH '~N England small Of
freezing RcHtH,r sI-o Hpp-EFsd In southern
N~,adr and 'trH. IN tbr GIF and Atlantic
~rs'-s "a zDTtrrrn Nrw FnN'1nd The Onto and
Trnnr-.er NHI~sn md lrtUreu th~ Mississippi
NEury and ROXY NOuniriUs % Was Uarulrr.
Ws,t 81 the hossr MOuntsir, ~ cooler
10 'his ritl ~ d. yHs fF.r aud sarmer, Vind.
Igh' nortf~1.f 20 -1u'tsrs' r'crage humidity.
, r~r ,-ut barom"t~r. 'orrrr ted 10 Tead To ~
Icgs. atANN auIA.AT N'7
Inc temperature yesterday. q, recorded. by the
o-Hg:sI ihrTuor-t-T. j. -aHsn N ne annsH~si
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1910-03-24
PtrkER< VIM FMHT mum.
To Resist EN'radlIIon AMI Protect Hooks
~ Hi@he.i Iou-t

TRFNroN. y , Mari % Prosecutor
GArvsn - H. i-ou county auph"d 20 t'pv.
Fort today TOR r"qHsirlDr- for fn" ezra
diTion Of LOWS : swift ~ SNIf' 4 30.
and Edward Morris 81 MORRIS 4 60 Two
81 the beet packers Iudi,t.'d py fn" Hudson
county Grand jury TO- uusrirt"v The
raI~rs wer" pr'-.n'"d 20 80" Governor
JIst an h- wg. 9'pgt ?, '...s" 20" ~'a;r
Hpusa. and 90" promised 'ist b. would
give them consideration
Samuel JEtermy"r ~ Sew NOrn had
previously obtained from fhc Governor
= prUmIs- that i~for'- i-sruIng -equis lions
tor any d ne indicted raen no would
9 - their counsel an opportunity % pre-
p. ~ their sd" ~ q hearing VIZ Tnt"r-
uyor wa- compelled - i..v" here to-day
t..TpTs Mr. GHry"n rad" lIS aspiration
'.r the requisItiOnz bu' - ~ Understood
Jua' fh- Governor will scced" 10 a re-
,i...-.t that a Tins. be fixed for the hearing
The supreme court. Justices Reed.
1renchArd and MintuFn sitting. allowed
bs-dAy q writ Of certiOrari. carrying up