The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1910-10-01
TEE BOSSBOSS.
Advance Copy Of . speech 90 Ne De-
IiVePed at POssumbottOmte.
FKfIoN CITIIHRs I have lust learned

lIVered aa POssumbottOmie.
FKrIoW CITIZENS: have just learned
that:
There vas . crooked man.
Who walked . oTooked mile.
And found a crOoked siHpence
I'pOa q CROOKED Ghle
lie bought crooked cat
| Which caught . CROOKED mouse.
| And they ali lived together
| In . nttle crooked house.
! Nov. my friends that sort Of thing has
got TO stop. And I'm the one To stop a..
The morals OF this country must be pre-
served. and shall preserve them even at
I the sacrifice 81 my own. l shall annihilate
every crook personally. That's the kind
! Of thing the fossililed supreme Court per
J Uits not 10 say encourages, Hut never
mind the supreme Court m attend to
that I promise you IN have IT. Justices
all properly labelled and slowed away IN
glass cases in the Smithsonian Institution
the first day ! am In power And ! shall
| be IN power
Now to sketch hastily INV programme
for your guidance. | propose to reform the
/ universe as follows
/ Make every had man good Tits NAV
seem hard To YOU. but : am honest. am
brave | am wIse aud shall do u.
> Eliminate differences Of color in the
races of man. The chinese have been vel
low long enough. The Malay- have contu-
mACiousiy persisted in remaining brown.
a color offensive 10 me. They must he
hleaChed A. for the red Indians. I intend 20
coin them all into Roosevelt cents. and 'h"s
do away entirely With that annoying "l--
ment Of the Population. The only eNCep-
ton to this rule will he men Of inielli gence
and property. Who will OF course under nv
regime remain permanently and hope
lsssly blue.
q Make the rich poor and the poor rich
THIS has been suggested before. bat no one
has yet had the nerve To carry n ont.
have the nerve.
Abolish the laws Of nature and a-fab-
lish the Roosevelt code This should he IN
fuli operation Immediately after March =.
1919 I shall have no Judges the ~coIrge
Of humanity. shall bs the sole Judge
3. Revise the solar system. This has al
ways been Ia me extremely defective.
Hereafter | shall have exactly SEQ days
ia tie year odd DAYS aud fractions con
fI-s me and Will bs discarded. Comet
and mstsoT- ~ill not be permitted Ia speed
lee kle--iy through the heavens but must
obtain licenses from INV Bureau OF Irai
hc The Milky Way must he pRsirur-
Ued. aud the procession of the eu'IlnoNe-
properly policed shall have the sun
shine a. night when I feel In the mood for ~
The present Arran cement Of stars Is in
artistic they will be .et cut aneW In accord
anCs With de-isn 20 be prepared los INV
private secretary sNpeCtani. William of |
Germany other amendments will he an
nounyed IN special orders issued from time
10 time
Terrestrial gravitauon shah cease tn
operate shall he the sole cent ~ ~ RttraC- !
ton
: Minor changes IN the world
n The Atlantic states are too -Iagnlni. |
They must rrmOV. To west Of the Mississippi |
All European nations must disarm |
immediately ! shall de- all the nshtiug With l
INV army and nv navy
e. ENtreme- Of temperature are hereby !
abolished This Viii foster the conserVatio /
Of natural resources Of coal aud ice
q Rough Rider costume must be unt- I
VERBALLY adopted and cowboy manners will [,
he rhr only etiquette tolerated
Ea>t Africa i 10 h' fenced IN a. my 4
hunting park
Z Their. - too much water on the carih's /
surface Undesirable -ra- must drV up
rhe proportion shall hereafter he three
quarters Land. one quarter water
Volcanoes. Trv-erS. va'ersIuu'-. eve
clones and similar natural phenomena wu-i
siTi''iN conform "a regulations 'p b" pre-
pared hv NV Interstate Iommerc" Com
which -hHll also control 'hs speed
and direction 81 90 can currents and winds
Rec lAmHttun. | understand that he
moon has oarel-s-lv been allowed q" grow
cold and unproduCt " I shall have pm
chot irrigate TefoIe-t and rrpopula'e u
. Economic Laws will he repealed a.
| shall supply and demand
everything
10 Business Industries are obsolete. To-
geiher With railroads and corporate enter
prises they must h. immediately and per
Discontinued
II Truth and honesty will he eysed by
me ia Nv Yesterdays standard will he no
ritsTion for fo-day's
- rgtr /. herahy daclared void aud ~
ne eT@ct
~ ANYTHING not covered -rs' iHcaliy in ,
This programme IAN l." learned rom my
lectures, Nhtrh VII eUhras. sVers con
.rtVable subject and Will lps delivered fre.
10 alt all day. sNery day. from nov On.
forever. Attsndance compulsory.