davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-03-05

think: that his vocal cords were auto
matte.
There's no question that John Wes-
and generation. On clear days. when the
wind was from the north and Mr. Gaines
was debating on the floor, the good peo-
pie of Nashville, his home town, used to
gather i'm front of their post office and
on street corners. cup their ears and
listen. John Wesley is in fine form to-
day" they would say in proud and pleas
ed fashion. He's argufying powerful
WELL Not for nothing did John Wesley
win and wear the title Of the Nashville
Believer"
The good people of Nashville We're
right. too. John Wesley undoubtedly
was a powerful taker. Even his erst-
while colleagues admitted that. Some
times when he was talking on the floor
they were strangely stirred and moved.
They were stirred clear out of their
seats and into the cloakrooms. Some
times they were. moved to put on their
coats and go home.
And right now there are men in the
House who can't understand how it was
that John Wesley Gaines was defeated
for reelection. His district had sent him
to Washington five separate times. Then
all Of a sudden he was dropped like a
hot potato. But these men are sure he
won't stay away. They are confident he
will come back and fear, too, it will be
after the hall of the House is reduced
to one-third it's present size. They hate
to think what the result will be if John
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-03-05
MIR. GRUN1P AND THE SPRING SUIT.

other things. For instance, when YOU tell
me that my hat is getting to be sort of
on the fritz. and generously suggest that
l go get another lid, why, a day or SO
later you'll be right there with the little
bee that stings me for about $40 worth
of new lid for yourself.
Yep, l see it all now. My own bonnet
filings me back, at the outside. five bucks,
whereas yours eats up forty or fifty of
the same, thus maintaining the deadly
average.
Same all the way through. When you
and suggest that you'd better get me
ming down, you go out and lay down all
of 81 for fifteen or twenty neckties for
me that look like the cravatry worn at
Swampoodle wedding. and then you
come right back at me for an Irish lace
waist that puts f1fty-dollar dent in me.
But. getting back to those two suits
of clothes that you SO unselfshly sug
gested that / have made for myself.
there aren't going to be any two suits.
There isn't going to be any suit. I'm
going to dub along with the buds that
I've got.
That. you see. is the only way of beat
ing your system. Anyhow, I don't want
any clothes. / may need them. AS
matter of fact, l do need them, for L
look so much like a bum when / 60 out
that I'm afraid of being pinched for a
vag.
"A reason why I'm not going to get any
clothes for myself this year is that they'd
be no use to me- Where do I go, any
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-03-05

at the fine cigar | had handed him and
wigging his feet. And in minute or two
he spoke. interrupting me right in the
middle of my matchmaking spiel.
This is historic town, he remarked.
l assented cordially.
You see that bridge over there?' he
inquired. / registered another affirmative.
Well said my business man. built
into the abutment of that bridge is
stone with a place scooped out in the mid
die
Il showed intense interest in the joyful
tidings.
ct is called the Basin of Pocohontas,'
said my prospective customer. in tone
of fnality.
After that there was a period of elo-
quent silence. When I became aware that
my business man had nothing further to
offer on the subject 1 started in on my
spiel again. But again | was interrupted
fifteen or twenty words along.
1--WE have a churchyard here he said.
My stock of enthusiasm was running
pretty low about this time, but / gave
pretty respectable imitation of man
throwing a fit from extreme surprise.
"'Gen. Philips is buried in the north
east corner of it.. the business man con-
tinued. They have never found his body.
II tried my best to make fresh start,
bit was exhausted. / opened my mouth
half a dozen times, but couldn't get
word out.
Take out your order book said the
business man at length. i did. Ana
thereupon, to my extreme surprise, he
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-03-05
The Four Flies.
From the Youths Companion.

From the Youths Companion.
In the course of disquieting article on
the subject of food adulteration, writer
In the German weekly, Die Gartenlaube,
drops into allegory. Americans VINO read
il congratulate themselves that things are
now different in this country.
There were once four flies which made
their way into a certain pantry. and de-
termined to have a feast.
One flew to the sugar and ate heartll!
hut he soon died, for the sugar was full
Of white lead. -,
The second chose the -four as his diet,
but he Jared no better, for the flour was
loaded with plaster of paris.
The third sampled the strip, and his six
legs were presently raised I'm the air. for
the strip was colored with anime ayes
The fourth fly. seeing all his friends
dead, determined to end his life also. and
drank deeply Of the fly poison which ne
found in a convenient saucer.
He is still alive and in good health.
That, too, was adulterated.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-03-05

Wesley opens up his vocal throttle wide
in the reduced dimensions of the new
chamber.
THERE is a branch of the total absti-
hence society-the Temporary Total
Abstinence Society-in full blast at the
Capitol. A couple of days before Lent
member of Congress. a Capitol employee
and a couple of newspaper men went on
the water wagon for the forty days.
They agreed that if any one man took
SO much as one little drink, that he
there and then should be bound, at the
end of Lent, to put up fine wine dinner
for the rest of the crowd.
Things went along all right for week
or so, and then. one morning, the Capitol
employee met the member of Congress
and they stopped for chat
Hear about Pete?" asked the member,
who looked gloomy and distract.
mo: what about him." asked the en-
pIoye.
why" said the member he slipped
on the ice last night and fell. Sprained
his wrist twisted his leg and nearly
broke his back. the lucky dog"
Lucky dog?" cried the employe. why
lucky dog?'"
"Shucks." growled the member, he
nearly tainted and the first thing the
doctor did was to prescribe red liquor
Then they shook hands sorrowfully and
parted.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-03-05

Oh they groan. what can you ex-
pect? These amended rules. these ridicu-
lousy amended rules. prevent the c"nsid-
Grafton of the public business as In DAYS
of old. The big and absolutely necessary
money measures are simply sidetracked
by these rules. while lot OF unimpor-
tant private bills are considered Wen
be here until July. August, September
nobody knows when.
Just the same. when the time comes.
the House organization. for all IL is not
so powerful as formerly. will take hold
OF the situation and straighten things
out in a jiffy. AS this Is campaign year
it is a safe bet that Congress won't be In
session here day longer than is alb
Solutely necessary.
THE unique spectacle was presented in
the House of Representatives the
other day Of Representative Robert
Bruce Macon OF Arkansas leading fight
for economy and Speaker Cannon and
Chairman Tawney of the appropriations
committee meekly following his lead.
They and a good many other republi-
cans, by voting with Mr.. Macon. defeat
ed the Lowden proposition for the pur-
chase by the government OF embassy ana
legation buildings abroad.
Robert Bruce was all set up about III
afterward. He thinks that the Speaker
and Tawney show some signs of whole
some fear of the hereafter.
IRVING c. NORWOOD.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-03-05
Street Construction.

From the Century.
The principles which apply to the re-
construction of Chicago in regard to
its streets, avenues and boulevards are
applicable to every growing American
city, although Chicago has some physi-
cal advantages I'm respect to the layout
of its highways, because ii is situated
on an immense plain. The common re-
quirements are convenient and pleas
ant means OF access to the main bust
ness center and all the subordinate
centers which are the working places
by day, equally convenient access TO
the places of recreation and refresh
ment, and lastly, much light and air
as possible for the dwellings, factories
and schoolhouses. To secure these
ends. the routes and levels for steam
railroads. street cars. wagons, carriages
and pedestrians must all be studied and
provided for.
The pavements, the sidewalks and the
grass and trees in highways must be
equally regarded. and an adequate pro-
vision OF open spaces. large and small
with sites for fine buildings and for
statues and fountains. must he carefully
planned.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-03-05

ers of the normal boys would be throwing
up Little Lord Fauntleroy to en-
Throwing up to EN- Little Lord Faunt-
leroy's bee-yutiful manners.
Throwing up to 'em how Little LORD
Fauntleroy was never rude or nuthin'.
Throwing up to 'em how Little Lord
Fauntleroy always clumb right TO MS
feet, so he did, whenever ladies entered
the room, and stood at attention when he
was spoken to. and all that stuff.
Throwing up to EN- how Little Lord
Faunteroy never in any circumstances
whatever, got his clothes muddy or his
knuckles cracked from playing mbs.
Throwing up to EN- that Little Lord
Faunteroy always looked Washed and
Dressed.
Throwing up to 'em that Little Lord
Fauntleroy never went scramblng or
shouting through the hall. but took it on
the sneak-foot and with bated breath.
Throwing up Little Lord Fauntleroy to
'em until they burned with a blazing de-
sire to meet Little Lord Fauntleroy out
on the vacant lot some night, when he
was all diked out in his velveteen panties
and SIGH, and mess him up with large,
gnarled Skinny stick.
the amount of carking misery and dis
tress the Little Lord Fauntleroy bug
wrought upon growing boys in this coun-
try when the priggish thing was at it's
height.
1t Individually worked for the feminiza-
ton of some tens of thousands of bows
of that era who today suffer from the
effects thereof mayhap in the matter of
coping out livelihood for themselves
-
The boys themselves of that epoch
never fell for the SNUG little game Of
Little Lord Fauntleroy.
They saw through him like a book.
They had his number the minute they
clapped eyes upon him.
They knew him for sniveIing tattIe-tale
the minute they saw him appear on the
stage.
They had 10 pretend. of course, that
Little Lord Fauntleroy was a hit with
them: that they admired his way of
framing his game; that his irreproacha-
bile manners were the bonbons. and ali
like that.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-03-05

found il to be. in his subservient. obse-
quious opinion. a bogus, nearly, may
be and a counterfeit.
OF course you know in general kind
OF a way that "Chantecler is barnyard
stuff.
Well, there isn't anything particularly
surcharged with the Uplift and the Higher
and Nobler and the Clear Thinking and
the Good. the Tee-rue and the Beautifnl
in barnyard stuff: anybody'll be willing TO
grant that much.
"Chantecler'' is a sort of fable con-
corning the angles of vision of ROSTERS.
dogs, pheasant owls, guinea-keets ana
things like those.
It's as dry as the Report on Fish and
Fisheries for the year 1879. It's dryer. in
fact.
The Main Rooster of the "Chantecler
thing is a sort of a feathered ''Cyrano.'
That is to say, he has the same sort OF
Cranial Enlargement. He imagines. for
example, that the sun only comes up
when he climbs off his perch. flaps his
prismatic wings and emits his matutinal
crow.
Now, there's nothing lOvable about any
kind of a rooster anywhere. A rooster is
infallibly a pinhead of the most aggra
waited type. and his pinheadedness is rem
dered all the more offensive on account
Of his inevitable and consuming conceit.
A rooster is just tolerated because he
makes bluff at choring around and
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-03-05

Must be. and of course is, a singer in
that somewhere. Sounds too good to be
on the level. It's about twenty to one
that there's a hornet hidden in that sug-
gestion if I could only spring it.
'Lemme see. You are sitting there
handing me the high and noble look, and
asking me when I'm going to get my Ber-
l could dope out the meaning of that If
you'd mentioned only one suit.
''That'd mean, of course, that you your
self had your eye on a couple of suits
for yourself. I'm hip to that much. of
course. I haven't been clubbing around
i'm double harness all this time without
finding that when you yourself have it in
mind to gouge me for whole lot. why
your procedure invariably is to begin by
suggesting that 1 get myself a little bit.
But it gets me winging, l confess.
when you talk about my getting two suits
for myself Am l to understand from
that that you've got your eye on four
suits for yourself?
Because, you know, four suits for
yourself is kind of squeezing the mourn
ers a little, isn't it? OF course l wouldn't
mind getting you four or eight or sixteen
or thirty-two or sixty-four suits If [
owned a couple more railroads besides the
railroads you think / already own. But
when you pull it on me in SO many
words that you've marked for your own
four suits that you must and will have
or there won't be dimes worth Of peace
around here, why
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-03-05
Charles Reade's Method of Work.
From the Westminster Gazette

From the Westminster Gazette
Reade's literary work was, Sir Robert
Anderson remarks. rare combination Of
genius and plodding. A brass scuttie
which stood by the fireplace held the
illustrated and other papers which reach
ed him week by week. From these he
culled anything that took his fancy. and
the cuttings were thrown into a COM
panion scuttle. to be afterward inserted
in scrap books, and duly indexed. Ma
terials for his novels and plays were thus
supplied or suggested. The accuracy of
his descriptions of events and places was
phenomenal.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-03-05

keeping the herd in order. But he isn't
cute or anything; YOU don't ever feel like
stroking a rooster on his comb; you don't
ever feel like bursting into tears and
falling upon ROSTERS bosom. He
doesn't invite such emotions or NANTES
tStions of confidence. He's sort of
tawdry drum major strutting around the
place. and there are a lot of times when.
viewing his ineffable stuckuppiness, his
overwhelming vanity, YOU feel like
zephyrtng lightly up behind him and
stalking him 10 a wallop in the Stats with
a lath.
The rooster is the main gink of the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-03-05

how. that I have to have clothes?
don't have to dress up like broken arm
to go to the office, and that's about all
there Is to my life-the office.
"All the time that I'm not at the ONCE
/ have to poke around this plant. and
I'd be fine gink. wouldn't /. to get
whole lot of clothes just to wear around
here!
you see, the whole truth of the mat
ter ia that I'm dished and done for. The
games all over for me. l never nave
a chance to get out anywhere without
having ten or fifteen gallons OF the weeps
pulled on me. / never have a
WHATS that? You're always telling
me that ought to go out three or four
evenings a week and mix more with men?
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-03-05
THROWING THE LITTLE LORD FAUNTLEROY" STUFF.

But deep down in their heart of hearts
the boys of the Little Lord Fauntleroy
period, dragged to the theater to see the
snipe and to take his example unto
themselves, were on to Little Lord
Fauntleroy Bigger Than a Wolf, and they
hungered to get him into a dark alley,
where they could toss unrecognizable
things ready for the dump right onto his
cunnin' little collar hanging way DOWN
his back.
All Of which is preliminary to saving
that a little while ago in New York
met Little Lord Fauntleroy.
That is to say. / met Tommy Russell,
who used to play Little Lord Fauntleroy
Tommy alternated in the part with Elsie
Leslie.
hadn't seen Tommy Russell. al
though he is an actor and has been on
the stage right along, since his Little
Lord Fauntleroy days.
In the back of my head perhaps l had
been supposing that Tommy Russell,
owing to the kind of part he was
compelled to play for SO long during his
boyhood, must surely have grown up 10
be a sort of denatured shrimp.
Well, a big, athletic, husky. powerful
gripping chap was introduced to me just
as Tommy Russell. l didn't think Of the
connection at this time. but presently
the lntrOduCoT, With grin, iilchtioiiSu
that this was the Tommy Russell who
years ago had done the Little Lord
Fauntleroy thing. Russell looked bored
and yawned YEARLY when that fact was
held up against him. / noticed that he
was rapidly becoming bald. little Lord
Fauntleroy baldD But he was manly,
basso-voiced and wholesome all through.
How did you make it?' I asked him.
exnerimentally. after we'd become better
acquainted. How'd 1t happen that you
lv,-t
"Oh. I get you.' replied Tommy Rus
sell, with a laugh. Well, | went TO
work to forget Little Lord Fauntleroy.
that's ALL I knew even when 1 was
playing him that he was shopping
skunk and that he wasn't on the level.
If I'd have grown up in accordance with
the Little Lord Fauntleroy idea, couldn't
YOU see me doing honiton lace work for a
living today?"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-03-05

First. the play "Chantecler.'' We are
in a position to write illuminatingly as
to the play "Chantecler'' because we
haven't seen 1t and haven't the least ex-
pectation of seeing it, We would not. of
a verify, observation-disclosures, denude
ourselves of a plugged nickel to see the
play "Chantecler.' This unwillingness
We hope il may be believed. does not pro-
coed from any tightwaddish love on our
part for plugged nickels; it proceeds. on
the contrary. from several contributing
causes one of which is that already we've
seen one play by the author of Chan
tecier.'- which was suficiency, We con-
slider for one lifetime.
"Chantecler." of course. You know. was
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-03-05

BOYS In a way of speaking will recall,
no doubt. with what blind, bitter.
vitriolic hatred they hated the Little Lord
Fauntleroy stun.
Little Lord Fauntleroy, in the book as
we'll as in the play. but most particu-
larly and inclusively I'm the play, was
about the blitheringest bitingest, blight
crest snib of a he-prig that ever wore
bunch of imitation curly hemp adown
his shoulders. to say nothing of velveteen
panties and jacket, big wide collar and
things.
Little Lord Fauntleroy was the subli-
mated impossible by way of a youthful
human being OF the male species.
Little Lord Fauntleroy was a snob
from his head right down to his heels
and then right through TO the Portu-
He was the Thing That Wasn't.
He was nine times more exotic than an
orchid and eighty-seven times more un-
realizable in real life than perpetual mo-
ton.
His manners were too much of a good
thing.
lie was too ineffaby. saccharineIy sub
weet
He was too diabolically polite to elders
and youngsters for any use in this sub
lunary sphere.
He was the Ladies' Hum Choinal ideal
of a boy-manliness that never was on
land or sea.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-03-05

show his goods. take his order or his
rundown and beat it in a hurry his pros
pective customer is liable to throw him
out bodily.
AT any rate, that remark about the
fantods goes. Perhaps you'll understand
when tell you little experience I had
in Petersburg a month or SO ago. 1 land
ed in the town. put up at the leading no.
tel and started out looking for orders.
First man ran up against in my line OF
business was a slow-moving, middling fat
person with bilious eye. / handed him
one of the firms best cigars and started
in to tell him the merits of the line han
die. But he didn't seem to be particularly
interested. When I woke up to this i'm
portant fact he was shifting suspiciously
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-03-05

DUNG fellers who
are just about be
ginning TO border
upon thirty years
of age will remem-
Der the Little Lord
Fauntleroy n u ! =
sance that OBJ
sessed their blithe
boy hood.
Those a IN o N &
them who were alb
normally normal
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-03-05

D that's 1t, is 1t
YOU want me to
stake myself to
some toys, do you?'
said Mr.. Grump
when Mrs. Grump
suggested that 1t
was about time Tor
him to order a cou-
pie of spring suits
for himself. Huh,
I'd like to connect
with the real an
sWer to that.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-03-05

T gives me the fan
tods to travel the
S u { n" 8 a ! d q
drummer for a To-
cal wholesale bust
ness house. the 9TH
er day. Perhaps
il is because I used
to have a New
England run, whore
if a drummer does
not get down TO
business. talk fast,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-03-05
u REPRESENTATIVE ROBERTS

d REPRESENTATIVE ROBERTS OF
N Massachusetts sat moodily contem-
plating great big sack full of govern
ment seeds.
Truly he said. with a sigh. Il am
the most unfortunate of men. Il have
summer place up on the Massachusetts,
coast, plenty of room for garden, for
fruit trees. for berry bushes, for orna-
mental shrubbery and flowers of all sorts
and kinds. And a beneficent govern
ment provides all these things. All me.
What's the trouble?" inquired news
paper man, who was rummaging through
the sack, trying to find some Country
Gentleman corn, to plant in his two-by-
four back yard.
"Trouble?" walled Mr.. Roberts, moth
ing but trouble. I've got the summer
place and here are the seeds and plants.
But the wind blows so blamed hard up
there that there's nothing that grows
will stick In the ground over night. I've
tried 1t and I know"
At last accounts Mr.. Roberts was de-
batting whether to give the seeds and
plants and trees and flowers to his con-
stituents or move
THE usual guesses are being made
just about this time as to when
Congress will adjourn. The House lead
ers. naturally enough, are not ayerse to
being quoted in the most pessimistic
strain.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-03-05

proceeded to give me as tidy little order
as / had had in many day. After That
we had drink and l learned some more
about the ancient history of Petersburg.
Folks seem to be real different in diff
ferent sections. l guess I'll get used to
the southern run, after while
TT is odd, strange, ramarkable-What-
/ ever you will-that the House of Rep
resentatives seems to get along so well
without that one-time brightest jewel in
its crown, that one-time loudest stripe
in its plaid, so to speak, John Wesley
Gaines. Every now and then, when MIR.
Gaines comes to Washington and drops
in on the floor to chat with his friends.
everybody within seeing distance seems
unconsciously to wait for something to
happen, to anticipate the end of the pc
riod of calm.
When John Wesley Gaines was in the
House the public business was certainly
in good hands. And 1t may be mentioned
that he was always there. Nor was he
ever at a loss or caught unawares. He
might not always have known what he
was talking about. but he could always
talk His mind. fatigued by thoughts OF
greatness--thoughts of an intimate per-
sonal nature-might refuse to work for
the nonce, but his voice ambled right
along. Sometimes in those days it even
appeared as though he didn't have to
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-03-05
Veracity.

From Iippincotts.
Miss Prye-Mrs. Jones. Your laughter
Just called me a nosey old gossip
Mrs. Jones-I shall tend to her at once.
I've told her over and over again not TO
speak the truth when it's liable to hurt
peoples feelings.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-03-05

o let us now punch
lightly and rapidly
at the keys OF the
antique No. 6, TAX
ing as our theme
this rooster BUSH
ness.
We are referring.
of course, TO the
"Chantecler' ma
mia.
Nobody with eyes
to see and read will
doubt that 1t is a
-l-