The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1910-11-18
Pediaree Oysters.


OYSTERS with a pedigree are on the
NOM of a certain London hotel. These
aristocrats are from the famous lieu
hank off the coast of Galway. In the
twelfth century the Cisterclan MONKS
Of COrsomroe abbey cultivated theSe
beds, and in later centuries the prouuc'
was so renowned for delicacy ana ma
vor that Napoleon III. stocked the most
famous oysters beds of France with
them.
Two Sinners.
at is very wrong to tell a raise
hood" said his mother to little jim
ME, whom she had caught i'll one.
"Then we're both offul sinners, amt
we, maw?" queried Jimmie.
Both! What do you mean?
"Why, you told Mrs. Smith yes
terday that you hoped she'd call again,
an after she wuZ gone you said you
wished she'd never come again"
Testing Her Love.
"What," she asked, with fervor,
"can 1 do, Horace, to prove that l love
you with all my hearth
Their honeymoon was waning, and
he replied without emotion to her APP
peal:
you might give me back all the
foolish letters l have written you, so
that 1 might have the satisfaction of
destroying them"
Dost Unto Dust.
A certain philosopher who flourish
ed during the chestnut and whisker
age, albeit of a general disposition,
came one morning upon his pretty
servant polishing his escritoire.
"Dost clean my furniture fair maid
en?" he inquired facetiously.
II dust" replied the maid.
Whereat the philosopher laughed
hugely and gave her a sausage.-Lon-
don Answers.
A Crazy Compliment.
The superintendent of lunatic asy-
Ium was strolling round the grounds a
few weeks after his appointment when
one Of the inmates came up to him and,
touching his hat, exclaimed:
1--WE all like you better than the last
one, sir"
THANK you" said the new official
pleasantly. And may l ask why"
"Well, SIR" replied the lunatic, 'you
see, you are more like one of u.s."
Not Like Her Ideal.
81 suppose you are proud of your
wife's literary success" said the init
mate friend.
YES" replied Mr.. Stubbles. "Only
l wish she wouldn't insist on making
the hero of every novel a tall, athletic
man with wavy hair and piercing blue
eyes. Anybody can see that | am
short, fat, bald and compelled to wear
smoked glasses. Washington Star.
Her Pity.
But, darling" murmured the love
Iorn youth, every night for two weeks
have been on my Bonded knees be-
fore. you. Have you no pity?"
Il certainly have, Horace" spoke up
the pretty fiirt as she reached for her
hand bag. Heres shilling. Go and
have your trousers pressed. After so
much bending they must be awfuIly
baggy. "-London Globe.
When He Hedged on Faith.
Oars nuthin' lax faith said
Brother Williams. Il once prayed a
fat turkey off a high roost, but de
sheriff took him fun me ez l wuz
gwine home ter cook him, an | wuz
took ter jail"
why didn't you pray your way out
of jail?" some one asked.
81 would "a done it," was the reply,
'but l didn't want Providence ter
know wuz in no SIGH place!"
Taken Too Literally.
What" exclaimed the head teacher
to the stupid boy of the class he had
been catechizing. do you mean to tell
me you cannot remember your own
schoolmaster's nameT
"N-no, sir"
my name is Green, blockhead!"
yes. SIR
"Well, see if you can repeat it, What
is my name?'
Green BlOckhead, sir"
Pretty Thrifty.
Excellent as thrift is" said Pitts
burg millionaire, lit may yet be car
ried too far.
Jones, for example, on a hot after
noon entered a Pittsburg saloon to get
glass of cold lager. Perceiving
Smith at the bar. he said generously:
"'Hello, Smith! Will you have a
beer?'
THE thrifty Smith. as he pushed
away his empty glass, answered:
No. thanks. Jones. l don't care for
another beer. but you can pay for this
one I've just finished If you like -