Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-06-06
The Argus Daily Short Story
A Clever Ruse-By Willard Brakeman.
Copyrighted. 1910. by Associated Literary PresA

/ down. defending the cause with all
| his or her strength. Per contra. ! re-
serve the same privilege for myself.
| Woman's suffrage | consider the most
| abominable. diabolical. illogical rot
that was ever sprung on a Christian
people"
"And 1 consider it one of the hottest
! causes
Aunt Abigail" interposed my wife.
''do let me help you 70 this little bit
| of wing. You're not eating enough to
| feed a sparrow"
I'm inclined to think" remarked
| Uncle Robert. that there's good deal
In this new idea of diet This man
what's-hls-name who is proving that
the less we eat the more work we can
do is going 10 create a revolution"
Have you adopted his idea" asked
Aunt Abigail spitefully.
! Considering that had just filed On
Gle Roberts plate for the second time
this was unkind
II have not. madam. for the reason
that | am not yet satisfied that his
views are correct. I'm nothing if not
scientific. | must see a thing proved
before adopt it,
Would you prove woman's suffrage
before adopting it?"
This was quite bright Of Aunt Abb
gail.
Il admit" replied Uncle Robert,
that to prove il before adopting it
would be impossible. Ii isn't neces-
sary TO prove it. Any fool can see
that the idea is ridiculous"
"Uncle.' | interrupted for the pur.
pose of calling a truce and preventing
Aunt Abigail from firing a return shot.
'1et me fill your glass;
mo. sir" putting his hand over it
mot at all, sir ] drink just one glass
of wine with my dinner. And that's
enough for any man"
quite right" replied and filed my
own for the third time.
zone is too much for any man. espe-
cially an old man" snapped the aunt.
Nothing is so disgusting to me as an
old topper"
The shot. while it applied partly to
me. was fred at Uncle Robert.
Not at ALL" he replied. "One glass
is good for the system. You know
what st. Paul says, Take little wine
for the stomach's sake.''
YES" retorted Aunt Abigail. land
know that the devil can quote Scrip
ture."
This was so well turned that I felt
like patting the old lady on the back.
But it did not squelch Uncle Robert
for the simple reason that he was un.
1T.
on, getting hotter and hotter. till at
last. to prevent an open rupture. my
wife arose from the table. She. poor
woman. was dreading a fracas. and
was not anxious to have break occur
so early in the game
AS soon as Fanny and I were alone
together we sat down and laughed.
did you ever see anything work
more beautifully 2" l said, Shaping my
leg.
Never"
LET them go their own gait. My
opinion is that one or the other will
get out within a week"
Every day my uncle came to me and
said that he couldn't live in the same
house with a cat and was going to-
morrow. Every day Aunt Abigail went
to Fanny and said she could not posi-
bly, endure that opinionated old heath
en- and she was casting about for an
other home. but il was dreadful that
she should be alone in the world. with
no one to love but Fanny. and Fanny
must needs be incumbered by all her
husbands relatives. l told my uncle
that if were deprived of the comfort
of caring for my fathers brother in
his old age 1t would break my heart
Fanny made faint hearted attempts to
quiet her aunt and agreed with her
that my uncle was a trifie hard to get
on with. regretting at the same time
that he had the same claim on me that
her aunt had on her. 1t is true that
occasionally there would be a lull III
the hostilities and we would find the
two chatting quite amicably. But this
was when they happened TO strike
some subject which was pet with
both AS soon as they d-ifted into
topics on which they disagreed the
roar of battle Recommended
Several weeks passed in this way.
and Fanny and were getting impa-
tient for the denouemeDt. when one
day uncle came TO me and said that
he would like 70 have a few words
with me and Fanny alone. He looked
very serious. and fe!t quite sure he
would announce his departure. He
was born gentleman. and nothing
would be further from his nature than
to hurt ones feelings. and TO appear
ungratefGl would break his heart.