Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-01-06

Stole pig and away he run;
Bu, where he had, the time before.
Been hotly followed through the
door
Ana down the street. with cries Of
Thief
And IN the wind-up come to grief.
He was amazed this time to hear
Them say. There goes financier
A, which the sheriff. by the way.
sAppiauded. where another day
He had pu, after him. and men
Nho had With explanations then
Dashed after him with angry crowd.
Made way for him and smiled and
bowed
With all the homage rendered pelf.
Till John just had to pinch himself.
He reached the calaboose at last.
And when the jailer's daughter cast
\ dozen roses in his path
Anc.. asked him for his photograph,
And all the thieves began to shout
Appeals to him to get them out.
Suspicion had become so strong
That John knew there was some
thing wrong.
.Aad there was. as they with mirth
Explained to him: The pig was
worth
Two-bits pound. and stealing it
Was not mere thieving, but bit
OF high finance" for which there j:
No penalty The pig was his.
And not the butchers. like the time
When pork was selling at dime.
January gets its name from Janu:
Blfrons, famous Roman explorer
Two-faced Janus, as he is known
claimed to have reached the North
Pole as early as % B. c., but he
could not Copenhagen with the wis
dom of that learned city. and they
put the den mark on him.
March was at that time the be
ginning of the year. The montl
was named for the great war go,
of the Romans: but Numa said that
inasmuch as liars we're first at tn,
pole and everywhere else, the.
might as we'll be first in the calen
dar, too. and January was mad
4 the first month. Subsequently, Cae
sar increased the number of day
in it from twenty-nine to thirty
one. He was to retire from the i'm
| premiership the last Of the month
/ and wanted to squeeze FIVE payday
into il.
4 The water wagon will resume,
With Carrie Nation chauffing.
/ And megaphones announcing room
For anybody loafng.
The happy group will tool along.
With prohibition potter,
And now and then hit up a song
OF loyalty TO water.
The wary publican. about to b
reduced to squalor. will set glas
and bottle out and blow upon hi
caller. The which display and du
Get sound will set old ballads ring
ing. and on the second time aroun
not many will be singing.
/ At which the publican will send
A wireless Tom and Jerry,
With earthenware hit end to end.
And whistle on cherry.
And, when the car comes 'roun
again,
Some one, the truth confiding
4 To Carrie gently. will epxlain
! That no one else is riding.
4 The wolf will wear a groo,
around the poor mans habitatioI
and even prunes will double up the
present valuation. The thrifty pop,
lace will sift the ashes for their fue
and the plutocrat will wear pie
Of bacon for a jewel.
The wind will smite the house wi,
its refrigerated drizzle. and Bore
will work around the windows wi,
a chisel. The plumber will run
and out at fifty cents minute, Al
the moving-van will come arount
with seven bailiffs in it.
/ 1t is cheerful time Of yea
| there is no doubt about it. and wi
| ter 5 such a hit with US we cou
not do without it. The shaggy cal
backed in the stack, with stra
around his plumbing. would ba'
his heart out if he thought the ge
Tie spring were coming.
Ned hate to see the grass gre
green and hear the brides warbI
greet the passing tumblebu