Graham guardian., 1910-07-01

seat of war. And his signature
was an undistinguishable hero
glyphic. Byron and Dean Stanley
wrote atrocious fists" and it is
said Sydney Smiths was no better,
although he used to chaff Jeffrey
badly. He used to say that he
read Jeffrey from left to right, and
his wife from right to left, but
neither could make out a syllable.
Jules Janin would rather rewrite
than attempt to read again what he
had written, and Montaigne could
never read what he had written.
The acute thinker mended matters
by employing a secretary whose
writing was absolutely undecipher-
able. Balzac was as big sinner,
writing on blue paper with blue
ink, appalling many seasoned COM
positors. A terrible hand had
Henry Ward Beecher. His daugh-
ter once declared that she had three
guiding rules in copying tiff a
letter was dotted it was not an i" :"
and a word with a capital letter did
not begin a sentence. Jacob Bryan
said of Archdeacon Cove's cali
graphy that it could neither be
called a hand nor a fist, but a
foot, and that a club one. His
hieroglyphics formed a clumsy,
tangled black skein that run across
the paper in knots, which it was
impossible to unite into meaning.
Lord Eldon used to tell of John
Bell, a great Chancery luminary of
his time, that he had three differ
ent methods of putting his wisdom
on paper one ineligible to him
self only, another which his clerk
could read and he could not, and
the third, which neither he nor his
clerk nor any one else could read.
The funny letter of 7. B. Aldrich
to Prof. Morse stands alongside of
Tom Hoods facetious reply to Lady
Georgina Fullerton's as protest
against learned illegibility. Aldrich
asserted that he could decipher
nothing in the professors missiye
but the date, which he knew, and
the signature. which he guessed at.
The story of the Duke of Yelling
ton writing to Bishop Bloomfield
when he had received a letter from
j. c. Loudon, the eminent land
scape designer, asking to see the
Waterloo breeches at Stratfieldsaye,
| is ancient, but it make us laugh
(although perhaps we ought not) to
| Ipicture the CONSERVATION of the
Bishop (and through him the shock
to the whole Episcopal bench) on
lreceiving permission to view the
Dukes Waterloo breeches. Also q
classic is the tale of Macready's adj
mission ticket being solemnly made
up by the apothecary into a cough
mixture, to be taken three times
| a day."
The name Of Horace Greeley has
in this connection to be mentioned
with a chastened respect. He un
doubtedly was the great master Of
illegibility. 1t was to him the com
positor averred that if Belshazzal
had seen his handwriting on the
wall he would have had cause to be
! terrified. A common story atEri,
buted to Greeley belongs, however,
to one Brooks, some time Presiden.
of the New York Central Railroad.
1t is best, in all things, to be just
And Greeley can well spare it. II
was Brooks's notice to quit that q
tenant used for two years as rail
way pass. Greeley wrote to some
pressmen: With weight OF
years / feel obliged to decline any
invitation that takes me days
journey from home,' and this is al
they could make of it: If ,elle
are blighted, dig them early. Any
, insinuation that brick ovens are
dangerous to ham gives me hor
rors." This is the way the modern'
have juggled with the pen, SO car
we wonder that its time of useful
ness is well-nigh spent?-New York
Press.