The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1910-04-09
HUMOROF THEGR
Wit That Helped the Ancients
Drive Dull Care Away.
SOME FIFTH CENTURY Jokes

Prolific Source of Merriment to ths
testers Of Those Days-Ths Source
Of Many Modern Jokes.
!. The maxim that there is nothing
new under the sun applies, 1t would
seem. more truly to jokes and witt
cisms than to anything else. The chief
differences between the jests Of one
generation and that of another lie
mainly In their form. The kernel Is
practically the same. Nevertheless 1t
is interesting to exhume some Of these
ancient jokes and to recognize in them
the ancestors, Of the things at which
we laugh today in the pages Of our
humorous publications.
Some humorous writers dearly love
TO make fun of the absentminded. I'M
practical university professor, who
outside of his own subject let's his
wits wander and is very slow to grasp
anything In ordinary life. Such jokes
as these were cracked centuries ago
by the students and graduates Of the
great universities in ancient Greece,
for it is a mistake to suppose that
what we now call college life" was
unknown to the ancients.
As a matter Of fact, the student at
the University Of Athens or at the
| University Of Alexandria was very
much the same sort Of mortal as is
the student today, and his professors
were not SO very different
| ffx,
| graduate of Alexa ndria. collected some
time in the fifth century a volume of
| 1eSts which were current among the
students with regard to the woolgath-
| ering type of professor. A number Of
them are translated here as being Of
considerable interest in the history of
humor and especially of college hu-
NOR: 7 .-,
A professor. wishing to swim, was
nearly drowned. whereupon he swore
that he would never touch water again
until he had learned how to swim.
OF twin brothers. one died. A pro-
fessor thereupon. meeting the sur
vivor, asked, lis it you that died or
your brotAer?"
A professor. learning that a raven
would live for more than 200 years.
bought one to test the matter
A professor. wishing to cross river,
went on board the boat on horseback
When some one asked the reason he
answered that he wanted to get over
in a hurry
A professor. looking out of the win
dow of house which he had bought.
asked the passershy whether the house
was becoming to him.
A professor. meeting another pro
fessor. said. 81 heard you were dead"
"And yet" replied the other. you see
that | am still alive" We'll" said
the first in perplexity. 81 don't know
what to believe. for the man who told
me about it is a much more truthful
man than your
A professor. in danger of being ship
wrecked. called for his tablets that he
might make his will. Seeing thereupon
his slaves lamenting their fate. he
said. "Do not grieve. for am going to
set you free"
A professor dreamed that he had
trodden on nail and that the wound
panied him. On waking he bound up
his foot Another professor, having
learned the cause. remarked, at served
you right. for why do you sleep with
ou. saiuais'
pioiesso'. inee'ins a ooc'or' hiu
nii"seil pehihu d wall eone one ASK
ing the cause ne answered nave
not Deen SICK TOT so long tme am
asna neu 10 co"e ihto lhe signt OF
PHYSICIAN
professor wishing 10 teacn MS
morse TO De small eater, gave MIN no
1000 at all. AT length, the horse nav
ing starved TO death, the professor ex-
cialmed' i nave SUFFERED great loss.
Tor Just as ne had learned not TO eat ne
died"