Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1910-03-03
FOR MARCH.

4 Q. have you heard about the hog
/ Since it is worth its weight in gold
They keep q heater in its pen
| And give it Quinine for a cold.
You wouldn' I know the lucky brute
Since pork went up to thirty cents.
They pet it so and keep it in
Such unheard-of magnihcence.
The farmer always tastes the food
To see il it will make him ILL.,
And rich and appetizing soups
Are given it instead Of swil.
The best and most expensive foods
Are set before it without stint.
And indigestion is forestalled
BY Gaping them with creme &c
mint.
You wouldn't know it for sly
The hog is quartered in to-day.
1t has ventilating fan.
A roof, q skylight and a spray,
And how it sleeps. eats, drinks and
feels.
And how to safeguard il from
harm.
Is all they think and talk about
These piping days upon the farm.
The farmers lie awake O nights
Devising prophylactic troughs.
The doctors fly from farm to farm
Examining hiccups and coughs,
And nowadays when farmers meet
Each other out upon jog
Their first and most solicitous
Inquiry is. How is your hog
March was the favorite month Of
the old Romans and the beginning
Of their year. 1t was named for
Mars. their god Of war. and con-
tinued to rank the other months UNI
til a. B. c., when the peace party
in the senate allied with the insurg-
ents and reduced it to third place on
the calendar. Brutus and some ofn-
ers cared less for war and more for
business; so they made Jaunarv,
named for the Two-Faced Janus,
the beginning Of the year, and the
month Of Februus. who typihed the
dark and evil ways of business. 20
Immediately follow Caesar, who
was speaker Of the senate, stood pat
on the old calendar upon the ground
that while war as some one had said.
is hell, business. when it reaches the
trust stage, is a good deal heller.
A few regulars Of the war party
supported him, but the allies were
irresistible. and he was finally
stabbed.
Revising the calendar was as great
an issue in Roman politics as revis-
ing the tariff has become in GU, own.
and more than one brave leader laid
down his life for the division Of time
as he thought it ought 70 be or bis
party had pledged. The Romans
discovered very early in their history
that it is in the nature Of man to re-
wise something. and they finally
agreed upon the calendar as the
thing over which the politicians
could fight with the least damage Il
the peace and prosperity Of the peo-
pie az whole.
The melancholy days will pass
and spring will come again K
freshen up the faded grass and wake
the hearts Of men. The grounding
will awake again Endorsed, upo,
the whole and the geese will march
across the sky to see about the pole
The thrill Of spring will run along
the backbone Of the calf. He'll bucl
and dance upon the mead and hois'
his hinder half. He'll dream q
blooming clover fields and waving
cuYlydock, and gambol with his rigic
tail stuck up at 6 CLOCK.
The bithesome rneadowlark vii
sing the glories Of the dawn and tn
robin will turn somersets upon tn
greening lawn. The spring-intoai
Gated colt will do-si-do about. tn
festive frog will wake to help tn
Weather Bureau out, the poor con
sumer will rejoice and hope for bet
ter luck. the meat trust sit aroun'
and damn the coming garden truck
On the 4th Mr.. Taft will celebrate
his first anniversary in the Whit
House with a masquerade. Their
has never been a masquerade there
but Mr.. Taft is very anxious to hav
everybody come, and. in view of tn
unsettled political conditions, tn
Ballinger-P inchot controversy an
some other things, he feels that a
long as nobody can determine pos
lively who else is present, there vii
be no occasion for any ono stay;n,