davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21
The Response Mechanical.

IL is the custom in converts for the
nuns TO respond to knock at the door
with the words in the name OF Cod"
zba phrase being equivalent in con.
ventional parlance to our worldly
enter" or come in"
In a convent in one of the western
cities not long since, the mother supe.
T-ior had ever-to-be-furgottenl expe.
Yicnce as result of this custom. Some
one in the outer world called the con-
vent telephone number by mistake.
The mother superior. reused from her
rneditations. picked up the receiver
and responded mechanically: "In the
name OF God"
hlndam" called an lrate masculine
voice at the other end of the wire,
there is no occasion for you to swear
at me, even II have made a mistake
In the number. Profane language is
prohibited over the telephone!"
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21

WILLIS L. MOORE. chief of the
w weather bureau. is the victim of
professional Crouch" He has become
incensed at the ground hog as bust
ness rival He believes his competitor
should be let in for a share Of criti'
cism and not all of 1t thrown at his
head
You never pick up paper said
Prof. Moore, that you don't see
harsh criticism of the weather bureau.
We get roasted II the weather is hot.
We get roasted If the weather Is cold.
And when 1t rains the abuse heaped
upon us is terrific.
mo matter what we do 1t is wrong.
II we miss the time of the coming
of rain by half an hour we are de-
clared grossly incompetent People
make speeches and say the weather
bureau is spending too much money.
Then somebody writes long maya
zine article about US. They say we
aever have been right for two days
On stretch since the bureau was
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21

0nWNEY' is about to come into his
W own. "Owney" was a dog. He
still is, but he Is a dead dog His
mounted remains will be on exhibit at
the Ohio Valley exposition. to be held
at Cincinnati next autumn.
Postmaster General Hitchcock has
also arranged to send postal exhibit
ton to the show. The chief clerk of
the department has notified the expo
sition management that he has Sc
lected the leading features of the
museum, which will be forwarded In
ample time for the opening.
But "Owney" will get the place of
prominence. The dogs story makes
Tor pity. Almost "a years ago the little
Scotch terrier was found curled up
asleep on top of some mail bags in
the postoffice at Albany. He had
taken refuge from the cold. The mail
clerks adopted him. They at length
named him "Owney" because of the
frequent question:: Who is your
owner?"
One day he followed the mail wagon
to the station and boarded car while
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21
Thought Friend Poor, Found Him Rich

He's too proud" said the husband
IL remember that pride of his. It's
almost an affection
What are you going to do?'
II thought I'd send him a check"
do you suppose" the wife scorn
fully asked, that he would have 8
check cashed. II he is as proud as you
say?"
We'll. I'll send him the money
then"
Next day he went to his bank and
drew out hundred dollars in one bill
This he put into an envelope and sent
to the address of his friend, writing
street and number correctly He told
the messenger not to say where the
letter had come from. This answer
came in the mornings mail:
Dear Bill-Well, you've decided t.
pay that old poker debt after all these
years. have you? Much obliged. In
going to have that bill framed anc
hang 1t on the wall when get home
The recipient of the letter slowly
tore it to bits. His mind went back
to the days of that crazy youth thai
his friend referred to. He remem
bered the hundred now: he was as
tonished that 1t wasn't more.
II suppose Mary will ask me II I've
heard" he unused. Il guess I'll say he
was too proud to answer, but he need
ed the money so badly he kept It,"
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21

The Uncle Joe Matrimonial Blu
real had most modest beginning.
Out in Stewardson, ILL.,, there lives
young farmer who has been reading all
sorts of newspaper stories and maya
zine articles about the higher cost oil
living. He read that lots of young PEG
pie did not get married because the
cost of living was such that penury
and sorrow stared them in the face.
He was bachelor and prosperous,
and 1t occurred to him that somewhere
in the land there must be the mate
that would make his home happier and
brighter. that might be just yearning
to get married, yet scared by all this
talk of poverty and trouble. The
young man wrote to Speaker Cannon
He wrote a modest postal card to say
that he had farm of 100 acres, and
that like the hotel business, there was
always room for one more" He put
it up to the speaker to furnish the one
more
Then Uncle Joe in the goodness of
his heart told newspaper man about
the young farmer, and the newspaper
man put piece in the paper and the
flood of letters started
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21
Ground Hog Rank Faker, Says Moore


Naturally, being director of the bu
reau, | have to bear the brunt of this
criticism. That is as 1t should be-
Moreover. | am used to It,
But while the abuse is going arouno
why not be impartial with it? What
about that great weather prophet-the
ground hog?
What about ground hogs! ash
you, is he not the greatest faker, tn,
greatest fourflusher. the greatest bun
combe artist that ever pretended tc
look at a cloud and tell you what was
in 1t?
What did he do this year? Did he
intake good? Not bit OF It, He was
as far off as we we're about the prob
able weather conditions for March
1910.
He crawled out of his hole on Feb
ruary 2, saw his shadow, got his pic,
ture in every paper in the country. and
then beat 1t back to his lair. leaving
behind him the idea that the remain.
der of February and all of March would
be marked by bad weather.
WAS II a reliable forecast? should
say not. We have had the mildest and
most beautiful March in years. Yet
the ground hog gets of without a
single roast. And next year people
will be just as eager to believe In his
judgment
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21
TIE Important
Problem

confronting anyone In need Of Taxa
tive is not a question Of single &C
ticn only, but of permanently bene
nrnll effects, which will follow proper
sTnts TO live in healthful way, with
the assistance of Syrup of Figs and
Elixir of SIENNA, whenever it is re
'ETnired, as 1t cleanses the system
gently yet promptly, without irritation
and will therefore always have the
preference of all who wish the best OF
family laxatives.
The combination has the approval
of physicians because it is known to
be truly beneficial, and because 1t has
given satisfaction to the millions OF
wnll-informcd families who have used
it for many years past
To get its beneficial effects, always
buy the genuine manufactured by the
California Fig Syrup Co. only.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21
Future Of Arid West.

What is the future of the west
under scientific soil culture? If ]
were to speak what Is in my heart
you would credit me with extrava.
gance and exaggeration. have great
confidence in the semi-arid regions
I believe Of truth that this region
which is just now coming into its OWE
is destined to be the last and best
grain garden Of the world. Good
farming can be done here better even
than in the humid region. but the
work must be understood and care
fully applied. The highest degree OF
intelligence is needed. 1t means real
headwork in every process. III. w
Campbell, at Dry Farming congress.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21

NAMES can't be mentioned In this
~ story 1t must stand upon its own
feet. A former Clevelander, now res
ident in Washington. got word that
Cleveland friend was in town. He
found out the friends address. One
evening he told his wife he would
make call. He took a car and got
off at certain circle. Two streets
lead from this running in the same
direction. He thought he took the
right one. In point of fact he took
the wrong. One is a flrst-class resi-
dence district; the other is made up
of mean buildings. He paused before
the number that had given him as
the address of his friend. He gazed
up at the dusty. dirty outside In dis
may Then he went home.
IL hadn't the heart to go any fur
ther,' he told his wife, John must
be playing in awfully hard luck"
"Why didn't you go to see?" his
wife demanded. HE may be Ill and
alone"
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21
Honor for Owney the Postoffice Dog

the mail was being loaded He was
unobserved till after the train had
started. Then the clerks sent him
back to Albany. After that he made
frequent trips. The employees of the
office tagged him "Owney, Albany
Postofflce, Albany, n. Y" They re-
quested other mail clerks to afIix tags
to him on his trips showing where he
had been. He soon became so extern
sive traveller, however, that he
couldn't carry his tags. While he was
once passing through Washington the
harness. From this the tags were
then suspended. He travelled from
place to place, always following the
mail. In addition to covering the
United States and Canada, he visited
Europe and Asia. The mikado of
Japan presented him with a silver
medal upon which was engraved the
national coat of arms.
"Owney" met a death not in keep
ing with his honored life. At Toledo
on one of his journeys. he was chained
in the basement of the postofflce. A
Photographic attempted to take his
picture. "Owney" barked his objec
tons. A clerk sought to sooth him
and was bitten. The clerk spread the
report that the dog was mad. and a
policeman shot him.
Now he goes back to Ohio. honored
but still very dead dog.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21

7 Aus, hlinn.
Brookville, Ohio.-"I was irregular
and extremely nervous. A neighbor
!, recommended Lydia e. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound to me and have
2 became regular and my nerves are
; snnch Better. Mrs. Il. KINNIsoN,
, Brookv1sle, Ohio.
LwiiR T. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
= poun6, made from native roots and
herhs. contains no narcotic or harm
ful drugs, and to-day holds the record
for the largest number of actual cures
FL. Of female diseases we know of, and
thousands of voluntary testimonials
are on file in the Pinkham laboratory
at Lynn, Mass, from women who have
been cured from almost every form of
female complaints, inflammation, ul-
.ceration, displacements,l ibroid tumors,
. irregularities, periodic pains. backache,
! indigestion and nervous prostration.
Every suffering woman owes it to her.
self to give Lydia II. Pinkham's Vege-
table compound trial
If you want special advice write
Mrs. PinlCham, Lynn. Mass, for Ii.
1t is free and always helpful.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21

UNSATISFACTORY L. White Bus
w beys desk in the speakers
ante-room of the national house
Of representatives reposes a packet
of letters Endorsed Cupid" 1t
Is the filing cabinet of the Uncle Joe
Matrimonial Bureau" established by
accident and not Incorporated. Every
lay brings additions to the speakers
neil, from men and women, young and
Did. from every quarter Of the land
seeking surcease from the pangs of
loneliness. Some of them are rich
they say and others want to make
themselves happy. Some of the writer's
are quite "choosey," as to the sort of
helpmeet they want and others will
take almost any old thing that is
willing TO trot or even amble in double
harness.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21
BROOM CORN HARVEST TIME
in Most Western Sections II Does Not
Interfere with Work on other
Field Crops.

In most sections broom corn har
vest comes at a time when II does ho'
conflict with work on other field crops
1t comes after oat and wheat mar
vest and before corn is ripe. In order
TO secure brush of the desired quality
Il should be harvested just as the
plants are coming into full bloom
when the fiber of the brush is oil tresn
green color If the crop is allowed
to remain on the stalk for longer
period than this and moist weather
occurs, then the heads which remain
inclosed within the leaf sheath VIII
have a tendency to turn red. writes
A. X. Lindsey, president of the Ameri
can Warehouse Company, In Farmers
Star and Live Stock. Over-ripeness
and exposure to the hot sun will dis
color the straw. Sunbleached or red
stained brush is of less market value
than the fresh green fiber.
AS this variety grows from four to
six feet in height and the head Is
partly inclosed in the sheath of the
upper leaf, it is found more conve'
nient to pull the heads. If the field
does not mature evenly it should be
pulled two or three times. each time
only pulling the matured heads. After
the crop is all harvested and thor
oughly cured it is usually seeded and
baled at the same time.
Where there is liable to be much
rain or heavy dews at harvest time
it is essential to have sheds for cur
ing and where this condition exists
the brush is pulled and taken directly
to the sheds, where 1t is seeded, then
spread out in thin layers on suitable
shelves for curing.
Standard broom corn usually con
tains some crooked brush and this
| should always be handled and baled
separately from the straight.
To secure the highest prices the
market demands a brush of fresh
green color, smooth, round fiber, full
/ tip, ranging from Is to "a inches in
length.
The selection of good seed from de.
sirable seed heads will assist in bring.
ing about decided improvement. In
selecting the seed heads special at
tention should be given to the quality
or character of the straw. Individual
plants which have a large center stem
or stalk running nearly full length
of the straw should be discarded.
Large, coarse or kinky straw is also
Objectionable. Only the best and mos
perfect heads should be selected fol
planting the seed patch the next year
Since the broom corn should be har
vested before the seed natures, every
grower should set aside a small pla
for the production of his seed.
Considerable loss in price to tn,
grower is too often caused by no
90 properly threshing or removing thu
seed from his broom corn and ais,
from poor baling. Both of these thing
are wrong and cause trouble for tn
buyer as we'll as the manufactures.
Broom corn that is well cleaned an
free from seed and put up in a goot
solid, square bale will always sci
quicker and bring better prices than
will il poorly handled
: The appearance Of well handle
crop always merits the approval c
the buyers and makes that grower
crop always in demand
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21

Once a plot for onions is selected
1t should be set apart from year to
year for that purpose. with successive
expectations of greater yield. This
takes into consideration appropriate
annual fertilization Unlike othe,
crops, rotation is not important, unless
1t be to eradicate some persistent foul
weed slowly gaining a foothold. The
safe conclusion is that onions may be
planted from year to year on the same
ground with impunity
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21

For the first time in five years Euro
pesn eggs are being imported into this
country Their arrival in the whole.
sale grocery of the west side. New
York, worries spectators, who have
been holding domestic eggs in storage.
The foreign eggs are shipped by bro.
kers from Huh, England, but were
gathered originally from Austria.
France and Germany. The total re.
ceipts amounted to 900 cases. each
case holding from sixty to one hun.
dred dozens
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21

Formula for making the bordeaux
mixture: Four pounds of sulphate Of
copper. four pounds of quicklime, so
gallons of water. First. dissolve the
copper sulphate in cheesecloth bag
and suspend the bag in barrel partly
hlled with water. Next, Stake the
lime in another receptacle, and strain
the milk of lime thus obtained into
the copper sulphate solution. Lastly
add sufficient water to make so gal.
lons.-Farm journal.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21
Apples In United States.

Albert Repp, New Jersey. speaking
about apples says: Taking the total
population of the United States and
dividing 1t by the number of apples
produced, 1t leaves but "a apples for
each person from now till July /. 1t
Is wrong, when we can grow such
good apples, not to grow more; So
100000 barrels would be but one bar
rel each, yet we now have but 4,OO0,-
900 barrels on hand in this entire
country"
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21
A Narrow Escape.

Two Ilishmen, bent on robbery, held
up a passing Scotchman. After
long, fierce fight, in which the Scotch
man almost had the better of it, thel
succeeded in conquering him. A thor
ough search of his clothes disclose
one lone scent piece.
"Troth, Pat" said Mike disguised
ly, 'if he'd had tin cints instead Of
nickel he'd have murthered the two d
us!"-Everybody's Magazine.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21
500 Reward. 500.

T1ss vss1Hss OF this paper VIII be pleased to learn
chat there 10 az least dreaded disease that science
has been able TO cure in all It's stages and that Is
Gntgrrh. Halls Catarrh Cure IL the only positive
furr now known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh
being constitutional disease requires constiiu-
tionai Treatment. Halls Catarrh Cure Is taken In
fegnsiy acting directly upon the blood and mucous
'glrsaess of the system. thereby destroying the
foundation OF the disease, and giving the patient
areugth by building up the constitution and assist
Dr nature In doing its work. The ptopretors have
~ much faith in It's curative powers that they oner
aOne Hundred Dollars for any that II falls to
o.nre. send for list OF testimonials
Address II. J. CHENEY & CO.. Toledo. o.
Sold by all DruggistO 7bc.
IAke Hal's Family PMS for Consultation.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21
Had No Reason to Complain.

Here" said the disgruntled acta,
II don't want this part. If / play
III have to die in the first act"
We'll" replied the manager, "whst
are you kicking about? You die |
natural death, don't you? If you gC
a chance to come on in the second ac
you'd get killed. Chicago Record
Herald
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21
April Fooled His Mother.

Robbie ran into the sewing rOOI
and cried:
"Oh, mamma! There's a man in the
nursery kissing Fraulein."
Mamma dropped her sewing and
rushed for the stairway.
April fool" said Robbie, gleefully'
IT'S only papa" -Everybody's Mag
azina.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21
Something In a Name.

We'll, WE'LL" surprisingly ejacual
ed the patent churn man who had mol
visited the hamlet before in several
months. When did you change the
name of this hotel to the Tai
house?"
Right after we built on that Dig
bay window" replied the landlord o.
the hostelry at Whittlesville.-Pu
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21
Queer Attribute Of Salmon.

only about 20 per cent. of salmon
spawn before they return up the river
from the sea, and those that do return
after spawning are coarse. and. when
cut up, white in the flesh; in fact. are
known as bull trout. for so-called
'-bull trout" are not a different kind
of fish, but are plainly salmon which
i1aNe spaMned.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21
Meaning of "Dry Farmino {"

A proper definition of the term dry
farming" is that 1t is used to define
the scientific cultivation of crops un.
der a limited rainfall and without ir.
rigation.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21
WEAVING the FoaI.

The weaving OF the foal should not
be attempted until it is ascertained
that he is capable OF maintaining
himself. and at first his appetite
should be studied and coaxed with
crushed oats, etc.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21
Sowing Alfalfa aroadoast

The man who sows alfalfa broad.
cast generally puts in from 20 to 40
pounds OF seed per acre. when II he
uses a press drill 10 to ~ pounds of
seed will be sufficient.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21
His Object,

HE says he would like to mee'
the woman that can beat his wiz
cooking"
Il suppose he would elope WIZ
her. Post.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21
AFTER
SUFFERING
FOR YEARS
Cured by Lydia e. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound
Park RAPIDS, Minn.-"I was !

MI was SICK Tor
years while passing
through the Change
of Life and was
hardly able to be
around. After TAX
ing six bottles Of
Lydia Il. Pinkham's
Vege table Com
pound L gained 20
pounds, am now
able to do my own
W work. and fe ell
W eli."-M Mrs. ED.
La DoU, Park Rap
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21
Dear.

why do people use the expression
Dear sir so frequently" asked the
man who was writing letter.
Il don't know" answered the man
Nho was figuring on his expenses. Gun
/. Less sir is short for 'sirloin.'"
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21

Retribution may come from any
voice. Surely help and pity are rarer
things needful for the right
eous TO bestow.-George Eliot.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21
Protect the Marna-

There is no more pitiable sight than
mare and foal standing in the omen
with their coats turned the wrong wav
and shiverlng with cold.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21
Not the Same.

What do you call your mule, w
cle?"
You mean whut's his name, Dosa
or whut All calls him" --Hous'Up
Post
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21
Damon, to His Pythias.

The Duelist-"You are a true frleaa
to me. You always support me .
painful moments. remember Jus.
you were witness at my marriage
-Rire,
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21
Official RudenesS.

Mrs. Newly shall never let US
operator send another telegram !,
me. l just gave him message =
my husband, and the first thing "
officious old thing did was to reau
-Lippincott's.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21

What are they giving away O"
here?"
Come along, Jack. It's DEM,
stration of face powder, OF no 'H'
est to us men," -,
"Oh, don't know. Let's ASH
taste. "-Washington Herald.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21

Or. Pierces Pleasant Pellets regulate and invil
arato stomach, liver and bowels. Sugar eoatet
,ftny Rranules, easy to take Us CANDY.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21
Complicated Machinery Not Needed

1t does not require any new or com.
plicated or expensive machinery to do
successful dry farming under the hest
methods
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-04-21

No. Cordelia, rain checks never
check the rain.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1910-03-16
ny QUITS
1 IN DISGUST

ssdlNGT0S, March is The
Pr x ne Gated States 70 the
= 4 ~ estrada fartlonlafa ln
ssa ig snisrysutlon folIaa
> uushing defeat Of The pro.
rnY neaF Managlia. came
sasn sss cruiser Buffalo
r Paaama. taking the ma
- haf been eamped On an
Z nasea hay
seSafsaTe o. the Buffalo
= slsas o. the demonatra.
1as b he unlsed states
ippeals 81 American cif.
y protection after LEROY
ara Leonard Groce had
fied b officers of preal.
ag4 since zelaya ned
soaniFy no definite afll
been iakeE b. the state
90 "a AicarnwuAn affairs