davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1910-07-23

CARRIES POINT
Restauranteur Claimed Printer
Eat the Ham and Eggs Of
the Bill of Fare.

| The acumen of Judge Robinson yes
terdav unraveled very difficult legal
problem. which was, who ate tie ham
and eggs. or why is a bill of fare'
The problem was only settled after
difficulties, Attorneys Wade Warren
Tbayer and \. 5. Humphreys fighting a
pitched battle OF legal intricacies all
morning before the court, while Lo Sun.
the editor Of the Liberty News, and
Ching Sum. Z Chinese Boniface, sat
across the table ana glared At each
other, conscious q their inability TO
make an impression on q court SO at
iltced with the legal measles The
points of law were breaking ont all
ever the heated conversations CT the
two learned gentlemen
Judge Humphreys waS upholdlng the
cause OF the proprietor OF the Liberty
News, who, by the way, has just come
from the scrutiny Of the federal Off
Gals. who threatened TO deport him be
cause he was supposed 10 be an an
archlsc. As Chinaman can I wear
vhIskerS. there was nothing 10 prove
that he was an anarchist. and they had
70 let him 90. Mr.. Thayer spoke on
behalf Ct the injured Chinese chucker
81 PIE. who was the defendant in the
Su.r instituted by he Of the super
~otlaEsylc tendencies.
The suit was started some time ago
n the district court and involved the
,ocal = Slt.59.
l. Sun claimed that ne had done
printing ter the other man which cost
tie sum mentioned He turned out
J-.l-ot- fares. checks and ether printed
nara pEerral5a necessary TO the success
II conduct Of q restaurant. CHING
sum advanced the counter claim that
10 Sun had eaten everything off the
a5I! 81 Fare after he had delivered them
and consequently was not entitled to
any pay Tor the printing. In less legal
terms he accused the editor Of running
up . bill amounting 10 identically the
same amount demanded for the print
ing. Among the delicacies the editor
was assumed to have disposed of We're
ham and eggs. beefsteak and asparagus.
The igurative hirsute adornment of
the prominent Chinese revolutionist
stuck up all over his face and trembled
with rage He demanded to know why
the honorable singer of hash insinuat-
ed why he, a real editor, needed such
material assistance as d beefsteak, even
If it was accompanied by the more
poetic asparagus. He denied that he
had ever eaten thing at the cafe of
his honorable friend and would he
please pay promptly that little bill for
the bill-offares. Judge Andrade fig
ured out that the alleged anarchist was
entitled to his claims and so decided.
Ching Sum appealed.
The whole matter was paraded before
Judge Robinson again yesterday with
further embellishments that would be
wasted on a district court and every
thing from common law to trust law
was evoked to show why Lo Sun didn t
eat those ham and eggs and why Ching
Sum shouldn t pay for the bill Of fares.
Finally the judge was overwhelmed
and trusting to the decision of the
lower court. sustained the verdict.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1910-07-23
MAY PROVE FATAL
When VIII Honolulu People Learn the
Importance Of It?

Backache is only a simple thing at
first;
But when you know It's from the
kidneys;
That serious kidney troubles follow;
That diabetes, Bright s disease may
be the fatal end,
You will gladly profit by the follow
ing experience.
It's the honest statement of a suf-
ferer who was cured.
s. D. Goodale, 1876 Brattle ST, Athol,
Mass, says: "Doan 8 Backache Kid
ney Pills acted just as represented in
my case. For six years I was subject
10 attacks of backache, so severe at
times that | can only describe nv con-
dition as miserable. When I straight
ened after stopping, sharp twinges
darted across the small of my back and
| firmly believed my trouble to be lum-
bago. When [ was suffering from an
unusually severe attack, a neighbor ad-
vised me to give Doan s Backache Kid
ney Pills a trial, which I did. This
remedy acted like magic and after I
had taken the contents of one box I
was entirely cured Over two wears
have passed since that time and I have
had no further trouble from my back
or kidneys. l think so highly Of
Doan 5 Backache Kidney Pills that I
cannot find words strong enough to ex-
press my opinion of them
Doan s Backache Kidney Pills are
sold by all druggists and storekeepers
at 80 cents per box (six boxes $2.5O)
or will be mailed on receipt Of price BY
the Hollister Drug Co. Honolulu. whole
sale agents for the Hawaiian Islands.
Remember the name, Doan s. and
take no substitute.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1910-07-23
W HOLE NuMDrn, 1920
TALES OF RAZORBACKS.
How Hogs of This Breed Got Down a
Steep Hill.

E1o" T1o9S OF mus oTccu Not Go"u .
Steep Hill.
The group on the porch was talking
about razorback hogs. and the store
keeper was telling Il story.
There was n fellcr trhvelin' through
here" he said. He WAS Il stranger In
these parts. One day he come across u
bunch O. hawgs that had big Sits in
their ears. He tiggcred ut them Sits
They was too big fer brands. What
else could they be: After II bit a ma
tive come down the trarf. Jess lookin'
at them hawgs,' said the stranger.
You was,' says the native. Dye min
tcllin' me what them big Sits In their
ears Is fer! said the stranger. Not at
ALL says the native. Have you no.
ticcd these hills" What dye mcanT
Noticed how steep they is? Yes, l
have 'Waal,' says the native. that's
1t. We have to put them Sits in the
hawgs' ears so they kin stick their
hind legs through 'em an rough lock
themselves down these hills to keep
from KILN themselves
There was salvo Of very hearty
outdoor laughter at this. and Mr.. Ant
wine stirred behind his newspaper.
That remin's me of one they use to
tell down on the Arkansas line" he
said. There was fcllcr gon' through
there too He saw drove O. razor
backs carryin' on mighty queer. There
was about twenty O 'em, an they act
ed like they was crazy. They would
run fust to one tree an then to an
other, tryin' to climb it. Then they
would spin aroun' on their noses,
crack their tails an squeal in the most
plaintive way you ever heard. The
traveller watched them hawgs fer fif-
teen minutes, an the more he saw o
'em the more they juzZled him. Final
ly he went on through the woods till
he come to a house. There was a man
out in front. He was baskin In the
sun. is them your hawgs up there in
the hills? the stranger asked. Yep
says the native At that the traveller
stepped up an looked his man in the
eye Say he said, what in the Sam
HArs the matter with them hawgsr
The native kin O. half smiled. They
does act queer, don't theyT he says. I
should say they does WAL, it's this
away said the native. We had hard
winter in here this time, an there was
no feed in the hills fer them hawgs
l had to let 'em have corn. Along
late in the winter | TUX such bad
col | couldn't holler pig-ooeey any
more. l had to call 'em up by hittin'
the corncrib with AK handle, an
now,' he says, lookin' back up the hill.
them dern woodpeckers is settin' 'em
crazy" '"-St. Louis Post Dispatch.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1910-07-23


subtly, as the moth to the flame. | was
drawn toward this source Of life effer-
vescent.
AS an entity my position was unique.
was the only person not an active
participant in the proceedings. But l
was not long to hold this distinction.
During one of the many arguments
that arose as regularly as a batter was
declared "out," in which arguments
the merits of the case were discussed
with much vehemence between the
batter and the other players. there
came a small. insistent cry Of: Let's
choose up sides! Choose up"' and the
cry was picked up. echoed and re-
echoed Justify as each boy scrambled
for the possession Of bat.
Each insisted upon being one Of the
choosers. but might makes right In the
child world. and the two largest boys.
needless Of the angry glances and dire
full mutterings Of the discontinued rab-
BILE. promptly arrogated that much
mooted privilege. Tommy the Twist
err" sobriQuet, afterward learned.
born from the ability OF the gentleman
to make a ball defy all the known
laws Of projection and trajection. was
one Of the two, the other lad named
Billy. Billy bore no titular honors. but
subsequent events proved him worthy
of the command he had assumed.
A bat after a bloodless but fierce
struggle was wrested from one of the
former aspirants for premiership. and
this Tommy pitched to Billy. who clev-
erly caught 1t amidway. Above Billy's
hand Tommy now clasped his, and
above that came Billy's other hand.
and SO on they aternated as they
climbed quickly toward the top. Both
claimed victory. Tommy by right Of
grasp and Billy by right Of foul. the
latter protesting loudly that his oppo-
nent's hand was foot" to translate
him literally. above the top Of the bat.
"Where's stone? Gimme a brick"'
was the general demand. and expect
ed to see the two dictators slain forth
with, but In this l was unlearned.
Justice was to be invoked, the princi
pie thereof being that If the stone
pounded upon the top Of the bat did
not harm the upper hand 1t was prima
facie evidence that such hand was
within fair bounds.
A dozen judges surrounded the bel
ligerents, each with the official requi-
site of office In the shape Of stone or
a brick In his hand and each putting
forth loud argument to convince that
certain qualities of his stone or brick
made 1t superior 10 all others for the
purpose at issue.
The trial was triumph for Tommy.
but only a temporary one, for Billy
Immediately filed second demurrer,
claiming a miscarriage of justice, and
In support of this claim he cleverly
pointed out that the stone, being round.
did not cover the entire top of the bat
on fat plane.
This esoteric argument was greeted
with mingled cries of approval and
disapproval from partisans In the
crowd. but Billy was obdurate. With
rhadamanthlne severity he demanded
knife, contendlng that If the blade.
held fat on the top Of the bat. should
pass over the hand Of the other then
the proof would be positive. Again
"The Twister" was triumphant. and
Billy now bowed to the result. though
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1910-07-23
PASSING Il On.

The clerk filled out the marriage
license and handed it over.
THANK you" said the young man.
Hold on. That's So
1.-TWO dollars"
Eyes. Did you suppose we gave
those things away?"
II certainly did. Charging a man So
for sheet of paper that didn't cost
the county more than nickel at the
outside is robbery. Have got to pay
it,"
You'll pay it or you'll hand back
that document"
"All right" said the young man. TAX
ing a bill out of his pocket rendering
it to the clerk and waiting for his
change, but can tell you right now
you amt robbin' me. You're robbin'
the preacher. He'll get just So less
than | was goin' to give him"
Pocketing the change and fitting his
hat back on his head, he stalked out
of the office with the air of man who
had been imposed upon, but who knew
how to get even.-Chicago Tribune.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1910-07-23

what conservative. so l indicated
point midway between THE Twist
er's" mark and the base line.
A mighty shout rent the air, but
horrible!-it came from Tommy and
his followers. | turned to Billy anx-
iously. The sight froze me. There he
stood motionless. speechless, spell
bound, with wrath. and | prayed that
he might ever remain so, but he didn't.
With a sputter that clearly indicated
the fire raging within he recovered his
voice, and then and there he pronounc
ed an anathema upon me that had 1t
been potent would have consumed me
on the spot. Thanks to the divine
grace, however, that makes a mans
power weaker than his will, beyond
slight curling of the hair and parch
ed throat the blast left me unharmed.
Wherein | had erred | knew not, nor
was | able at the moment to ascertain,
for Immediately all social relations be-
tween myself and my comrades were
severed. Later learned that to have
upheld our contention l should have
marked the ball as having gone en-
tirely outside the base line. Good in
tentions went for naught had failed
In the deed and was condemned forth
with, thanks to the narrow wisdom of
youth.
From now on until the end Of the
game my relations were those Of
pariah-nether noticing nor being no.
ticed. Not until Dame Fortune had
actually bestowed the game upon US
by a score of % to % did my fellow
players relent and take me again into
their good graces. No doubt the fact
that l could no longer jeopardize their
chance Of winning had much to do
with this
But withal outside Of a few what
Billy designated yellow" plays-and
his glance in my direction spoke elo-
quently-the game. according to his
estimation, was a good one. The low
score and its closeness attested to that
On our way back to town Billy grew
somewhat remorseful. and he assured
me that If l could "ketch" and hit
good and could run" little faster
would be all right. All of which raised
my spirits great deal, particularly as
he invited me back to play again,
Come down ag'in." he said cordially.
you kin play with the other side next
time"
This magnanimity l repaid by pur'
chasing from passing countryman a
couple of watermelons. which l begged
them to accept with my compliments.
and, thus having cemented the ties Of
reconciliation, bade them goodby, the
total Of my worth in their estimation
being fully summed up in a terse ex.
preston Of Billy's that unintentionall.
was waited to my ears as departed
"The old mans all right" said he
"but he can't play ball"
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1910-07-23
Mhan Wreckinn Mas Good.

Natives Of the Scilly isles had in the
old days a reputation for being invet
crate "wreckers." The wrecking some
times took on a strange form. This
story is told Of an islander who put a
ship on the rocks in order that the is
landers might profit: "A Scillonian
(native of the Scilly isles) sailor was
ON board West Indiaman, homeward
bQpnd, and the skipper got into a fog
and lost his reckoning. Then he ask
ed this man If he knew the Scilly
isles.
Better nor any book says the
sailor Then says the skipper, take
the Wheel In an hour crash went
the ship upon the rocks. D your
eyes, says the skipper, you said you
knew the Scilly islesr so l do says
the man. This is one of 'em.'
"The ship went to pieces, and nearly
all the hands were lost. But the peo-
pie of the islands had nne time with
the fotsam and jetsam for good
many days afterward. The patriot 10
buried In the old churchyard."
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1910-07-23

wouldn't lie about It," he added, CIV
ing me a radiant smile Of appreciation.
If THE Twister" believed my verac-
ity above reproach his looks certainly
belied his belief. However. l cared
little as to that. The sweet Of ap-
proval from my superior acted far bet
ter than anything the enemy might Of
fer, so determined upon coup d'etat
that l felt sure would carry me in
peace and maybe In glory through the
remainder Of the game.
NO" l reiterated. while Billy smiled
approvingly as one who sees his posi-
tion doubly fortified. "It didn't go
there. 1t hit right here"
My first inclination had been to make
the mark far beyond the base line. but
a nature subtly cunning had taught
me that to lend the color of truth to a
statement one should appear some
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1910-07-23

passion for victory could think other
wise. Unfortunately my superior was
such man.
AS the ball caromed off my ankle far
out into the field he, regardless of the
suffering I exhibited by hopping wild
iy about on one foot while clasped
the other tightly between my hands.
strobe out before me in a fury. A run
had been scored That was sufficient.
To him victory was everything; the
loss Of limb or life nothing.
"Cut out dat minyuet" he ordered.
l complied.
"What uh yu take dis fer?" he now
demanded, referring to my recent ex-
ploit "A football game"
I tried to plead my case, but he
would have none Of 1t. Hey, Spider"
he cut in abruptly. addressing himself
to the lad on third base. PLAY second
an let de old man play third. They
won't so many git round tu him
there"
Ye gods. the cruelty Of this last cut,
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1910-07-23
The Cat Came Back.

Bacon-Did you ever try to lose
cat?
Egbert-Oh, yes. l hit upon plan
which thought would work. | wrote
n note, inclosing $40. and tied both
about the cats neck. The note read,
"Finder may keep both the cat and the
money"
"And how did it work?'
THE cat came back the next day
with another note tied to its neck. The
note read: Don't need the cat, but can
use the money. Please send $40 more"
-Yonkers Statesman.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1910-07-23

All Advertisements
D EACH most business people through the
IL MINING JOURNAL.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1910-07-23
BASEBALL STORIES
{ - - EEMWIIMIQ) NMlTnVVVQI1
Second Inning.
Copyright. 1907 by the S S.
Mcclure Company

Y YHY 1t is that all urbanlte who
VA invades rural district for
w the express p purpose purpose. of Of .o.. oe,
tanning rest Immediately sets
himself to the task Of discovering e1-
citement | know not Nor do | know
why to one under such circumstances
of enforced enervation the vivacity
and buoyancy Of youth appeal with 80
much power. simply know that 1t
was a conjunction Of these two cogent
forces that melted me after several
days of justification in the little village
of Trent to follow the sound of boyish
voices that reached me In loud alter
cation. Mounting the raised roadway.
came into full view of the seat of
trouble. smooth. level stretch Of
ground. upon which a crowd Of boys
were noisily engaged in game Of
baseball
Their brag and bluster acted like a
tonic on my quiet sated nerves. and
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1910-07-23
The Pleasure Site,

Wilie-Father. is it tue that riches
do not bring happiness?
His Pa-Quitc true, my son. If you
doubt it observe how much more ths
people in the bleachers seem to enjoy
themselves than those in the grand
Stand.-New York Telegraph.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1910-07-23

When applied to the newspaper page
they make people think twice.
First, people think there's a man who
keeps up with the procession.
Second, they think he must keep
good goods on hand.
Again, If the home paper has enough
drops OF advertising Ink on Its surface
to make proper showing the outsider
thinks this must be pretty lively
town.
Thus a drop of NEWSPAPER AD-
VERTISING INK is a good thing for
the town.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-06-11

that he would not be double crossed?
Although johnson has felt the pangs
Of hunger and was without means to
crafty his appetite many times In the
old days, still be does not seem to
know the value of money. II he were
strapped at the present time he might
be induced to lay down, but there Ii
little to tempt him while he Is in pros
porous circumstances. johnson Is an
easy going negro who believes In
spending his money freely and Is not
stingy or grasping.
Now, here Is the Jefrries side Of IT.:
No one who has ever come in contact
with him or who even knows him by
reputation would give second thought
to the suggestion that he would lay
down to an opponent. JEFF may be
tightwad and psssionately fond Of
money, but he has never shown the
slightest inclination to make money
dishonesty. When JEFF was at the
height of his career he could always
be depended on to do his best, was al
ways in condition and. above all.
strictly on the level. This is the most
important battle of his career, and for
any one to think be would consent to
throw down his friends Is the worst
kind of tommyrot
Therefore there is no reason for any
one to figure that the coming big bat
tie will be decided other than on the
merits of the contestants
If the fight is a fake the pictures
viii be worthless. If it is a good fight
they will be worth 100000. If not
more. So you see that Richard has to
protect his own interests in every way
in his power. In fact. it is unjust to
reflect on Gleason or Richard by even
suggesting prearrangement You jot
this down in your little notebook-the
big mill is strictly on the level
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-06-11
LEFT HAND DRIVE is NOT POPULAR
WITH MAJORITY OF AUTO DRIVERS

Is the left hand drive as popular as
some people claim it to be? No, saws
tie driver who likes the right hand
side. Even if some manufacturers are
making their cars with the control
levers and steering wheel en- the left
side of the car it is doubtful If thew
will ever come into common use. The
only thing that seems to be in its IA
vor is the fact that all cars passing
you in the opposite direction pass by
your left side, which gives you the op-
portunity to see just how close they
pass you. This, of course, you can't
do when you sit on the right side. If
this is to receive serious consideration
then the proper place for the driver
to sit is on the right side, as in passing
another ear going in the same direc-
ton as your own you pass 1t on the
right hand side, and shouldn't you IN
this case also know how near you are
TO the other car?
Then, again, all curbs, cutters, trees,
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-06-11
SHREWD BASEBALL TRADES

Chance ard Clarke Split About Even
In Deep Laid Courterplots.
There is no denying the shrewdness
of Managers Frank Chance of the Chi
cago Cubs and Fred Clarke of the
I'ittsburg Pirates. Chance knew that
Mcintyre of the Brooklyn club had
always pitched good games against the
Pirates, so he engineered a trade
whereby three of his surplus young
sters went to Brooklyn and he ac-
quired the services of Mcintyre. The
latter came up 10 expectations. The
Brooklyn club was also strengthened
sufficiently to win couple of games
from the DreyfusS aggregation.
Fred Clarke in the meantime was not
sleeping. Red" White was the only
Boston pitcher that was able to beat
the Cubs last season. Accordingly
Clarke wanted White. He got him.
trading First Baseman Sharpe and.
Pitcher Frock. White made good in
his first trial as Pirate. winning from
Chicago. And that was not all. Frock
twirled for Boston against the Cubs
and went through with a victory. So
1t can be said that both deals have
worked successfully from every angle.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-06-11
BASEBALL CHIRPS

Cleveland still has a weakness for
big pitchers. Joss, FaIkenberg, Young
and Linke form a skyscraping quartet
Don't forget that Manager Jennings
had an entirely new infeld last year.
This foxy leader keeps sticking in the
youngsters all the time.
Bobby Wallace. the st. Louis Amer
lean third baseman. shows little signs
of old age. He continues to whip the
ball across the diamond with terrific
speed and accuracy
Manager McGraw is said to have
laid down the rule for his pitchers
that fine will be inflicted In every
case where more than four bases on
balls are handed out in a game.
Outfelder Bob Bescher of Cincfn-
natl is travelling at gait that would
rattle Barney Oldfeld. He is fielding
ike a demon. batting like a Wagner
and running bases like himself. II
Bescher can keep up his present pace
he will lead the league in something
else besides base stealing at the end
of the present season.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1910-06-11

etc, are Always To your right. You
cannot guide your car as well if you
sit on the left side That is only nat
ural, as the right hand simply rests on
the wheel. helping the left hand very
little 70 guide the car. but giving it
ample chance to shift gears or grab
the emergency break lever. which, by
the way, should pull backward, not
push forward. as on some of the ma
chimes. for when you have to stop
your car quickly it is difficult to do so
by pushing forward on the break
lever, but by pulling toward you you
can brace yourself with your feet at
the same time giving yourself firm
seat If you can have a planetary
transmission you might find 1t very lit
tie trouble to handle it from the left
side.
But consider this: If the car has
sliding gears. and especially of the Sc
lective type of transmission, it's the
right hand for good control every
time.