davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-11-18
PUTS STOMACHS IN ORDER.
pepsia Five Minutes After Taking
Little Diapepsin.

There should not be a case of indiges-
ton, dyspepsia or gastritis here if read
ers who are subject to Stomach trou-
BILE knew the tremendous anti-ferment
and digestive virtue contained in Dia-
pepsin. This harmless preparation
will digest a heavy meal without
the slightest fuss or discomfort, and
relieve the sourest, acid stomach in
five minutes, besides overcoming all
foul, nauseous odors from the breath
If your stomach is sour and full of
gas, or your food doesn't digest, and
your meal don't seem to fit, why not
get a 50-cent case of Pape's Diapepsin
from any druggist here In town, and
make life worth living. Absolute re-
lief from Stomach misery and perfect
digestion of anything you eat is sure
to follow five minutes after, and be-
sides, one fifty-cent case is sufficient
to cure whole family of such trouble.
Surely, harmless, inexpensive
preparation like Pape's Diapepsin,
which will always either at daytime
or during night, relieve your sick,
sour, gassy, upset stomach and digest
your meals, is about as handy and val
liable a thing as you could have in the
house.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-11-18

even il you are going to pass us up
ut was good Of you, John, to come
to us with the news first. Wasn't it,
Absalom?" smiled the old lady.
Father nodded his head vigorously.
and there [ sat with my mouth wide
open-a regular Charlie Foolishface.
[ wanted to speak, but every word in
my body was back-pedalling.
1t was scandalous.
If | had realized what it meant TO
go up against an unuspecting family
council l certainly would have coaxed
Clara j. to elope Then l could have
sent her beloved parents a postal
card, breaking the awful news thus:
May have your daughter? Thanks
[ have her now. Last tag, you're it,
| began to recover consciousness
slowly, and muttered, "You have me
sized wrong.
What want to ask you Is may L"
Just then Tacks rushed in with
whoOp. Pop! Nom! What dye
think? John Henry and Clara Jane
, are going to get married."
<Greenwood cemetery-no flow
ers!" ! murmured, and waited for the
axe.
After a painful pause 1 opened my
eyes and said, whats the answer"
Papa and Mamma had risen and
were giving me the look-over with a
side-smile l couldn't quite understand
. Whats the answer" | repeated
prepared to duck and avoid a rush of
furniture to the head
Papa placed Mammals arm gently
under his own and started away.
At the door the old gentleman
turned and said, John, it's up to
you!"
Then they both chuckled and left
me fat.
If ever that boy Tack needs
friend I'm for the job, sure thing,
Two or three evenings later I
picked my way into the house be-
tween double rows Uf messenger boys
and dry goods deliverers; fell over
about eight tons of packages, and,
after divers perils by land and sea,
finally drifted into the parlor. There
oe1C '1fICiA ICIto La WSoll, Itl1lIS SldId y.
all she had ever heard
Marietta was to be the maid OF
honor, but to hear her talk you'd
think she was the leading lady That
girl had the busiest voice I ever
heard
She certainly was hard worker
with the CAB
Evening, ladies!" I said.
Clara J. gave me a spectral sort of
a smile and Marietta shook her back
hair at me, then they clinched.
But I'm afraid, Marietta'- Clara
j. was at the bat-"that I may not
look well in ivory white. l do wish,
Marietta, that l had chosen the other
shade: and the train, Marietta; don't
you think two yards too long for me?
Now. do tell me! I'm sure it will be.
Oh, Marietta, do you think that old
lace will be as becoming as the fresh
tulle would have been?"
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-11-18
MADE HIS APOLOGY AMPLE
Irish Legislator Even Withdrew this
Words That He Was About
to Utter

There is in congress a western rem
resentative of Celtic origin who has
more than once stirred up the ami
mails" by his propensity 70 bait the
opposition.
On one occasion he rose to de-
nounce the statements made in a
speech that had been delivered by a
member Of the other party. His i'm
petuosity led him to phrase his re-
marks rather strongly.
Order, order!" exclaimed the
speaker, pounding with his gavel.
Again, In a minute Or two. did the
son OF Erin return to his charge of
wilful misstatement. Again was he
called to order"
1t was a critical moment His col
leagues. for motives of policy, did not
wish him to be put out of the debate,
so they limited SO by Juggling vigor-
ously at his coat tails.
Now, it's a very dangerous matter
to trifle with the tails of an Irishman's
coat, save in the cause of friendship.
Nevertheless. the indignant yet good
natured member recognized the com
mand of his party and sat down after
delivering this Parthian dart:
II obey the ruling of the House, and
I beg to retract what I was about to
observed"
That one touch of Irish oratory took
the whole House by storm-Lippin-
colts
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-11-18

Father, while Mamma simply sat there
and focused me with her sad, re-
proachful lanterns
Perhaps you heed something to
brace you up suggested the old gen
tleman.
I needed sanitarium and a corps
Of efficient physicians, but / didn't
say so.
At that moment / was doing a
chump act never before equalled in
the history of the world My eyes
looked like couple of vacant lots
and Il had reversed grins. and was
now using the style most affected by
stuffed leopard.
THE boy may be suffering from
incipient brain fever, Or is he in
lover whispered the old lady.
HUH" exclaimed Papa; in love,
eh? That's it. When's the wedding?
who's the girl? Sorry to lose you,
John, but the best of friends must
pari In the divorce court Ha, ha:"
Tat cackle went right through me
aad splashed on the wall behind me-
The old man was a fierce joke pusher.
Come on now, john" he con-
tinued; who is she? Have you told
Clara? She'll be lonely. for you are
certainly the best time killer she ever
had Speak out; We are your friends.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-11-18

Nice evening"! l suggested, but
they had forgotten I was in the room.
why, Clara janet" gurgled the
girl with the spenlthrift tongue, you
know that your old point will turn
all the women green with envy. I'm
sure nothing on earth could persuade
me to think of a tulIe veil when / had
such perfectly exquisite lace. Now
there was Helen Duval-you remem-
Der when Helen was married? She
had one Of those
Then Marietta pulled the throttle
wide open and took us to Helen's
wedding and back again and all over
the place. It was one Of the longest
and noisiest Journeys l ever made.
Got any wood for me to saw" l
interrupted after a bit. 1 was tired
of playing solitaire.
Pardon u.s." said Marietta, giving
me enough eye-ice to keep me cut
ting for a month; "we are so busy"
Then to Clara j., what did you say,
dear?"
Clara J. grabbed her cue Really,
now, Marietta, do you think that the
sleeves are clever? I think a frock
with poor sleeves is an abomination. -
Just think of being married III
sleeves that were not absolutely
smart" cried Marietta.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-11-18
/ John | 1enry' S |
u Wedding
By GEORGE ". HOBART

Clara J. had said Eyes, and the
next evening I waded into the Van
vivveT mansion to drag Papa's and
Mammals consent away from them.
So long as I played light comedy
roles I knew I was a hot favorite with
the ole folks at home, but when it
came to doing leading part and
walking off with the daughter, | be-
gan to get uneasy for fear they'd
reach for the egg basket and hand me
a few unripe scrambles
When I squeezed through the por-
there ] found the old lady and gentle
man very busy discussing their plans
for a summer trip.
Where are you going to spend the
summer, john" inquired Father, Civ
ing me limp paw, which I shook
hurriedly and then handed back to
him.
Here was an opening-a grand
chance to butt in right at the go off,
We'll, to tell you the solemn, we
haven't decided yet" / answered.
WEI" they both echoed.
why, John, l thought you were
playing a lone hand?" said the old
gentleman. I've always known you
as a young man who could walk up
and down Easy street without a
guardian or time-card This is the
first time I ever heard you speak of
a nullback! Whence the WE?"
Il always thought you were free to
go and come as you pleased, john"
the old lady put in.
Here was my chance to climb the
family tree and knock down the fruit
but for some reason or other the
blood seemed to rush to my voice,
and / went backwards like a crab.
Papa had fixed me with his steel
blue eyes, and | could see by mothers
expression that she was beginning to
set me back as one of those double
life leaders.
My collar began to faint and my
hands grew nervous and wanted to
fight each other.
THE fact is, ladies and gentlemen
er-I mean Mr.. Vanviyver, and you,
too, Mother-er-that is"
Then l grabbed a catfish grin and
sat there till I used it all up l WIS
over the edge. Say, this marriage
business is immense after the whistle
blows, but the preliminaries make me
sick
You seem to be little to the
bad this evening, john" said Father,
and Mamma began to shake her head,
as though she had mental tintype
of me far out on the road to ruin, and
walking fast.
| went at them again. CAS- a mat
ter Of fact, l merely dropped around
this evening to inquire if you could
that is to say, if it is possible for you
to give me-to give me your-your-
Overheard again and not life pre-
server in sight.
1t was pitiful.
Most extraordinary attack of hest
tation I ever knew you to have" said
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-11-18

my heart crawled up in my throat and
refused to go back home. I suppose
it wanted to see the show.
AS | stood near the chanceI waiting
for the bride to come and get me, |
felt like bottle Of ketchup with the
cork out. 1t seemed TO me that ev-
erybody in the world was giving me
the fish eye.
couldn't remember whether [
should wear my hands in my pockets
or in my mouth, so I tried both styles.
Presently I caught the eye Of Sgd
ney DeBrie, and he didn't do a thing
but throw off a grin that nearly put
me out of the wedding business.
Sydney was one of the ushers, but
he should have been away back sit
ting down at his work in the SOAP
factory. He was one of the Five Lit
tie Shines who used to drop in on
Clara J. of an evening and tease her
with their talk. | don't know why I
ever consented to let that human DO.
tato-salad be an usher. He couldn't
ush for sour pickles. All he could do
W put HIS lace WHERE L could see
it and let tired Nature do the rest.
About this time Billy DeVries. my
best man, began to wilt [ didn't
dare look at him, but I knew that
mentally he was yelling for ice water
Outwardly he was very nervous, and
he put in his spare time trying to
chew his necktie
Still, the thought flashed over me
that Billy, being a college graduate
and football survivor, showed won.
derful self-control in combining him
self to a conflict between his teeth
and his necktie. It's a wonder he
didn't give the minister the low tackle
and try. for a touchdown
Then the procession came down
the aisle, and the bell rang for the
Wind-up.
Clara J. was a dream. I played an
alarm clock. ,...-..
One of the bridesmaids got gabby
and wanted to talk her way into the
main tent, but all around her were
kind-hearted people, so she wasn't
pinched.
Pretty soon the minister sprung
that old gag On me about the ring.
and I suppose for moment he
thought he had ne, but l fooled him.
| know it's customary for the bride
groom to get SO ratified that he loses
the ring, SO I wasn't taking any
chances. The day before the Wedding
l bought eight rings, and when the
battle was raging I had them stored
away in every pocket and a spare one
in each shoe
No tumble on the ring-not for me,
No matter in which direction 7
dippef l was sure to fish up a ring I
thirE I'll get this idea patented.
TG n the minister made few
cracks at us, but we called him every
time, politely but firmly, and present
ly he handed us a card and said we
were duly elected members of the
Married PEOPLES Union.
Immediately thereafter we all went
home in flock of hacks to take fall
out Of one of the finest wedding break
fasts that ever came off the griddle.
For one little moment Clara ] and
I were alone in the library.
Did l do all right?" she asked Gag
erly.
You! The limit I said. ssYou
looked like queen. But, wait, Stop
the wagon! Why. bless me, in the
excitement of Quick finish nobody
had time to kiss the bridei"
She put her face very, very close
TO mine and said with the sweetest
Of smiles, once more. John, it seems
to be up to you,"
Copyright by G. W. Dillingham; Coz
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-11-18

Her voice seemed to have a high
fever.
And the lines of the skirt, Clara
j. went on; edo you think thew are
good? You know a wedding dress
should have good lines, Marietta:
good, sweeping lines Of course [
know the design was good; but made
up, Marietta, do you think it will be
good made up?"
When do you expect to get those
glad garments cooked up?" ven
tured; but all the wires were down in
my direction, and I got no answer.
Clara J. took out her hammer and
began to tap the bridesmaids. while
Marietta held the anvil, so / got I'D
sideways and went home
It was the most cruel game OF
freeze-out | ever sat in.
All in good season the presents be.
gan to show up. One evening the min
lister, who was friend of the family.
dropped in to see if they would suit.
Nearly everybody l knew had sent us
cut-glass decanter, and he made me
rush out and sign the pledge.
With the exception of two or three
of those present, the wedding was the
happiest affair of the kind I ever at.
tended. I was one of the exceptions.
When the fateful hour drew nigh
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-11-18

Stiff neck! Doesn't amount to much,
but mighty disagreeable. You've no idea
how quickly little Hamlins Wizard Oil
will lubricate the cords and make you
comfortable again.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-11-18

II am greatly encouraged" said q
man today. ga good many people
knocking on me lately; that is a sign
l am amounting to something"
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-11-18

Mrs. w1ns1owss Soothing syrup.
For children SOTtenS gums, reduces in
EXAMINATION aayS pain. wind collie. 25c ltIe
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-11-18

When everything else fails woman
can become suffragette.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-11-18

Many fellow does all his betting
with his mouth.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1910-07-25
PhotoaranhInn a Panther.

A panther is not easily killed and
viii often revive with very unpleasant
results. as on a certain occasion in the
Deccan, He appeared to be quite
dead, and one Of the spectators rushed
up with camera on a stand to obtain
a picture Of the supreme moment. He
got his photograph, and, strange to
say, It survived what followed, but no
sooner had he taken It than the pam
Their revived, tore himself loose and
went for the photographer. Somehow
the man escaped, but the camera was
sent flying, and, disconnected by his
encounter with Il, the panther turned
and made for the nearest tree, up
which be went as quickly as mon
key. Now, the tree was crowded with
interested spectators, and for three or
four strenuous seconds until the pan
Their was shot we enjoyed spectacle
OF natives dropping to earth with loud
thuds Ike ripe piums from a jungle
plum tree as the panther approached
World Magazine.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1910-07-25

form a long prickly chain, round IN
appearance and about three feet IN d.
ameter These leaf chains are often
woven to a length Of half a mile
When the chain Is complete all the
men Of that particular village turn
out en- masse with their ''paopaos," Or
Samoan canoes.
When the tide ia high the chain ls
stretched across some conyenient
place, supported by natives in their
paopaos or simply wading where
the shallowness viii permit. The CO
coanut seine Is then submerged and
slowly forced shoreward, the prickly
points driving the fish before them.
When the point is reached where the
chain can rest upon the bottom and
still protrude slightly from the water
the natives after securing the ends 10
the beach retire and wait for the tide
10 recede. leaving the fish high and
dry
II is often found that large fish are
driven and caught in this manner,
but since they are capable Of Jumping
The barrier they are dispatched with
spears at once. The catches OF fish
thus made are sometimes enormous
and often number thousands.--Los AN
geles Times.
Insect Sits on It's Eggs.
Family matters In the case Of insects
usually mean only the depositing Of
eggs in suitable situations for the In
dependent development Of the Oh
spring, the parent insects often dying
before the young appear. The earwlg
however. provides remarkable excep-
tion TO the general rule. for 1t sits upon
Its fifty or more eggs until they are
Matched, just as a bird would do, and,
moreover, If the eggs get scattered Il
carefully collects them together again.
In the early months Of the year, when
digging the soil, female earwigs may
frequently be found together with
their batch Of eggs. At the slightest
sign Of danger the young ones huddle
close to their mother, hiding beneath
her body SO far as 1t will cover 50
large family Strand Magazine.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1910-07-25

Photo By American Press Association
GLENN H. cuRrIss AND BARNEY oLpFrELD
man to take the place OF the prize
pumpkin as prime attraction7 We
move fast IN these days, aud already
the aeroplane is racing the locomotive,
rs was so recently Witnessed in Glenn
II. Curtiss race with New York Cen
tral special from Albany to New York
city and Charles X. Hamilton's speed
contest with Pennsylvania train from
New York to Philadelphia and back
again.
Curtiss has also figured IN a race
with an automobile. II occurred at
the Minnesota state fair grounds on
June 20. The man IN the automobile
was Barney OldfeId.
Despite the many distressing acci-
dents met BY aeroplanists and balloon
lists Of late, records continue to be bro
ken. The thrilling dight Of Curtiss
over the sea. where he covered fifty
miles at Atlantic City in a little more
than an hour. broke all records OF over
sea flying. although lights had already
been made across the English channel
and New York bay.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1910-07-25

ing between the white and black races
at Reno.
Furthermore, the sympathizers Of JEFF
fries in his defeat would like 70 be told
without chance Of contradiction that he
was not 80 mean and low as to resort
to such methods and that ii there were
really underhand effarts that he knew
nothing Of them. The public does not
expect angels Of prigehghters, but the
public would like to see man act ION
the leyelp with it. Therefore, unless
the denials are forthcoming, whatever con.
fdence there is in the fairness OF the
sport viii have beeu scattered to the
four winds; and il Is agreed that the
confidence was already weakening.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1910-07-25
coed RepubIicans. Too.

The st. Johnsbury Caledonian bolts
the nomination Of Doctor Mead, holdinA
consistently to the objection against him
that 1t urged in the pre-convention can.
yass. Other anti Mead papers have failed
to come into the line with the usual
spirit. There is no denying that many
d the Republican rank and file are ex-
tremely displeased over the choice for
head Of the ticket made at Montpelier
and win make their sentiment known
at the September election. Il IL talked
openly not by the element that Is loose
~ attached to the party, but by good,
strong, substantial citizens who have
never scratched OF bolted Republican
ticket before They do not hesitate
to give their reasons, which are that
with little at stake As between the par
ties this year, they fed free to register
once more their disapproyal Of the head
OF the party ticket, and the methods
BY which be won narrow victory in
the convention How widespread this
feeling is, on whether Il will increase
or fade with the approach Of election
day, is yet too early to determine.
Randolph Herald and News.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1910-07-25
Avlation ana Mrtholory.

The development Of the heavler-than
air flying machine has inevitably more
than once recalled the mythical flights
Of antiquity. Daedalus and Icarus sue
ceeded IN flying, If the ancient Greeks
were 10 be believed although the lat
ter met the misfortune Of falling into
the Aegean sea By reason Of the wax
Of his wings being melted By the sun.
Possibly lcarus might be said TO have
been the prototype OF the dirible balloon,
rather than Of the aeroplane, since the
sun Is even now held 70 be responsible
for accidents to the gasshag machines
through the expansion Of the gas by
rs heat. But Phaeton was obviously
the prototype Of the men who to-day
ambiti0ualy mount IN the air on aero
planes. as shown by the accident which
has 20 suddenly brought the aviator Ehr
mann into prominence. He was making
cross country flight near Barcelona,
when his areoplane was struck BY light
ming aud fell blazing 10 the ground
lie was more fortunate than his myth.
cal prototype, for he escaped injury, bui
every seheolboy may De expected 60 be
reminded OF the ambitious youth who
long ago was feputed TO have attempt.
ed 10 drive the chariot Of the sun and
made such mess Of II that, In order
10 save the earth from destruction Joyc
struck him with thunderbolt, which
dropped him into tho river Pc. The
Phaeton myth bad the advantage Of ex-
planning the desert of Sahara apparently
to the satisfaction Of the ancients. but
the accident to Ehrmann, instead Of
attempting the solution Of anything cyi
IDENTIFY suggests new problem Ia ayia.
tion. The art obviously has risks enough
without taking into account the danger
Of being struck BY lightning. Manches-
ter Union.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1910-07-25
pup11c,s EYEs RETNa opENEn.

The persistent stories Of attempts at
crooked work in the recent prizefght
between James J. Jeffries and Jack
johnson have been followed by no de.
mails from the camp Of Jeffries, from
which the denials should be expected, if
from anywhere. The stories are to the
effect that camp attaches Of Jeffries
endeavored to six" the recent fight 1t
Reno and that Jeffries had the under
standing that 1t had been fixed, right
up to the night before the great fistic
encounter, only to be informed then that
Johnson refused to be a party to the
affair and refused to be defeated BY
JeiFries in the eighth wound, even Though
the offers mounted to very large figures
The stories 90 further and say that JEFF
fries was so taken aback BY the failure
to FIX the fight that he lost his nerve,
resulting in his pitiabIe exhibition
against the colored man the succeeding
day. These stories are disgusting, even
to the enthusiasts over the game and
uaIess prompt and conclusive deniais are
forthcoming the sp~st Of prizefghting
has been dealt mortal blow, which will
Be even more effective thar the legisla.
tive enaetments which have closed all
bat two states Of the union to exhibi-
tions Of finish fghssg Even Nevada
could not afford to stand and connie
nance such game Is that alleged to
AaYs been tTied prior % the reOont meet