davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06
pidn,t Want Il FlattsnAd.

This story is told Of Jerome x. Je-
rome. the humorist Returning from
abroad one time, he fell into good COM
pany. with the exception of one man.
who was what is known as "a walking
encyclopedia This man persisted in
giving all sorts of information, much
to the annoyance Of Mr.. Jerome and
others. One morning. as the travellers
leaned over the rail. admiring the ris-
ing sun, the man with the information
turned to them and said almost SOL
menly:
Gentlemen, If the earth were fat
tened out the sea would be two miles
deep over the whole world"
Mr.. Jerome turned around, seeming
" stunned. Then he grew indignant.
and, walking over to the other man.
he said, shaking his finger menacingIy:
Look here, man, If you catch any
fellow trying to fatten out the earth
shoot him on the spot can't SWIM"
Philadelphia Times.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06

The guildhall is an important public
building in London. which may be re-
garded as the town hall, and is the
place of assembly Of several courts, as
the court Of common council. the court
OF aldermen. the chamberlain's court
and police court presided over by one
of the aldermen. The construction Of
the building was begun in 141l. 1t
was partially destroyed in the great
fire Of 1865, but was soon restored, and
In 1850 it was altered to its present
form. The hall proper is 1853 feet In
length, 4S In breadth and 55 in height.
1t has been famous for centuries for
the magnifcence of its civic feasts.
The first time it was used for this
purpose was in 1900, when Sir John
Shaw. goldsmith. who had been
knighted on the field of Bosworth. first
gave here the lord mayors feast.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06
THE ANDoRRANS.
All the Inhabitants Of tho Little Re-
public Are Related.


The inhabitants Of Andorra, the little
republic which is wedged in between
France and Spain and which has exist
ed since the year 7S2. are very proud
of their blue blood and ancient lineage,
In their eyes gavache tforelgnerl of
any description or nationality is mere
~ an inferior being. a sort of mush-
room upstart in comparison with them
selves. During 1900 years they have
continually married and intermarried
to such an extent that at present all
the inhabitants are practically cousins
yet, strange to say, neither their physi-
cal, mental nor moral qualities seem to
have suffered. Both sexes are strong
limbed. broad shouldered, bright eyed.
hardy and long lived, retaining their
hair and their teeth to green old age.
They are also keen witted and intelli-
gent, alert and happy hearted. sober.
industrious. hospitable and devout.
The feminine Andorran has not vest
ige Of coquetry about her. She Is just
the female pure end simple. She is a
thrifty housewife. a helpmate to her
husband in the most literal sense of
the term-ready and able to trudge off
across mountain and valley beside him
with a pack OF smuggled goods on her
back In case of need.-Wide World
Magazine
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06
Quaint Remedies.

Among the members Of the Greek
church in Macedonia the following
recipes are regarded as highly useful:
To pacify ones enemies write the
psalm "KnowR In Judea." dissolve 1t
in water and give your enemy to drink
thereof, and he will be pacified. For a
startled and frightened man take three
dry chestnuts and SOW thistle and
three glasses of old wine and let him
drink thereof early and late. Write
also SIN the beginning was the word"
and let him carry it.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06
A Cup of SUGAR.

A large china cup with handle was
showed across the counter and a child's
voice said. ma wants a cupfuI of
sugar"
The grocer filed the cup, weighed
the sugar. poured 1t back into the cup
and said. Two cents"
To a customer who expressed sur
prise at bis willingness to sell grocer
les in such small quantities be said:
"Have to in this neighborhood. Most
Of these people live from meal to meal.
which means that they buy things by
measure instead Of weight. Reekoned
by the cupful, the spoonful or the pail
full. they know just how much Of any
thing they need. In order TO satisfy
both customers and the inspector of
weights and measures we measure
first to suit the trade. then weigh after
ward."-New York Sun.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION.

Department of the Interior.
U. s.. Land Office at The Dalles, Ore
gon, August 23d, 1910.
Notice is hereby given that Joseph w
White, of Lexington, Oregon, who, on
July 18th. 1905, made homestead No.
146lO, serial No. 0S663, for NV quarter,
section 9, township North, Range 26
East, Willamette Meridian, has filed
notice CT intention to make final five
year proof, to estat lish claim to the
land above described, before C. G. Pat.
terson, U. s. Commissioner al his Office
at Heppner, Oregon, on the 4th day Of
October, 1910.
Claimant names as witnesses:
r. K. Wills, J. W. Sibley, C. A.
Morey and H. O. Mccormick, all OF
Lexington, !OreGon.
G. w. MOORE. Register.
Sept 20
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06

Isolated Tract-Public Land Sale.
Department of the Interior U. S. Land
Office at LaGranuereGon August
81, 1910.
Notice is hereby given that as d.
rected by the Commissioner of the Gem
eral Land Office. under provisions of
Act OF Congress approved June 27,
1905, ga Stats, 5l7) we will offer at
public sale, to the highest bidder, at
10 O'Clock a. m. on the goth day of
October, 1910, at this office, the follow
ing described land: The SIX NEA and
So NWL sec. 81, T. 8 s., r. 81 +. w.
NJ Serial No 07446.
Any persons claiming adversely the
above-described lands are advised to
file their claims, or objections, on or be-
fore the day above designated for sale.
F. G. BRAMWELL, Register.
COLON r. EBERHARD, Receiver.
Sept S-Oct 13
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06
LIGHTNING FLASHES.
Many Things Concerning Them That
Science Cannot Fathom.

Many Things Concerning Them That
Science Cannot Fathom.
A young girl in charge of two chill
dren, sheltering under a tree on Chisle-
hurst common, was struck by light
ming and killed-one of those dreadful
instances of the sort of personal touch
with which lightning seems to select
its victim. for. though one child is re-
ported to have been thrown down. nei-
ther apparently was injured. There
are many instances, of course. of this
strange selection, due In most cases
probably to some accident Of clothing.
There is well remembered case which
happened some years ago at Cam
bridge. when three young men were
walking across an open space OF
ground. and the middle one Of the
three was struck dead. while the 9th
ers were untouched. The inquest
showed that the young man who was
killed had nails in his boots, whereas
1he others were wearing boating shoes.
The phenomena of thunderstorms
have been the subject Of much study
in America. But If thunderstorms can
be classified, they are still not thor
oughly understood. We do not yet
know what are the exact conditions
which lead to a discharge Of electricity
in the form Of a lightning fash from
cloud to cloud or from cloud to earth.
We cannot reproduce thunder and
lightning in laboratory. We do not
know what is the origin of the elec-
trifcation manifested in a storm. =
London Spectator.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06
psfos and SAVINGS Banks.

Though Duncan of Duthwell was the
founder Of our first savings bank. the
first suggestion came from Daniel De
foe.- When he found himself compelled
to hide from the bailiffs In small
Bristol inn he turned his enforced
leisure and financial failure to account
by writing the Essay on Projects" 1t
deals with savings banks. friendly So
cieties, insurance. academies and bank
rupts. On all these subjects Defoe Of
fers from his fertile brain suggestions
that startle the reader by their modern
ring. On bankrupts and savings banks
Defoe naturally wrote with feeling.
During his stay in Bristol he was
known as ''the Sunday gentleman"
owing to his natural unwillingness to
take the air except on that day Of the
week which deprived bailiffs Of their
Bdng.-London Chronicle.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06

George Frederick Handel the son Of
a Saxon barber aud valet, was only
five years old when his fingers wooed
divine melodies" from the spinet,
which a good natured aunt had SNUG
glcd for him into an attic, so that no
sound of 1t might reach the ears of his
father. AT eight his playing so aston
ished the elector Of Saxony that his
father was compelled to withdraw his
opposition and allow the genius of the
boy to have fair play. And before he
had reached his twelfth birthday
young Handel was known throughout
Germany as brilliant composer and
virtuoso at the court Of the emperor.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06
MEMORIES OF MARK TWAIN.
Two Letters the Humorist Wrote to
Henry Watterson.

'NIark Twaiu-An Intimate Mem
ory." is the title of Henry Watterson's
article about his cousin as 1t appears
in the American Magazine. Mr. Wat
terson recites the following incident as
being typical of Mark Twain's whim-
steal point Of view;
"His mind turned ever to the droll.
Once in London | was living with my
family at 1903 Mount street. Between
1903 and 102 there was the parochial
work long and imposing
building. One evening, upon coming
in from an outing. found letter he
had written on the sitting room table
and left with his card. He spoke of
the shock he had received upon find
ing that next to 102-presumably lo3-
was the workhouse. He had loved me,
but had always feared that would
end by disgracing the family-be-
ing hanged. or something-but the
'work'us,' that was beyond him; he
had not thought 1t would come to that.
And so on through pages Of horseplay,
his relief on ascertaining the truth
and learning his mistake. his regret
at not finding me at home. closing
with a dinner invitation. Once at Ge-
neva, in Switzerland, received long.
overhowing letter. full of buoyant odd
tiles, written from London. Two or
three hours later came telegram:
Burn letter. Blot 1t from your mem
ory. Susie is dead I"
Susie was Mrs. Clemens.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06
NEW GUINEA PYGMIES.
The Spear and Bow and Poisoned Ar
rows Their Chief Weapons.


Our knowledge OF the pygmies of
New Guinea shows that in habit they
ere nomadic, nowhere tilling the
ground, but depending for their living
entirely on their skill In hunting and
fishing. Their chief weapon is the
bow. their arrows being generally
poisoned either with the famous upas
or some other similar vegetable poison.
in some cases a species of strychnine.
They also make use of the spear and
an ingenious form of spring gun
which is common to numerous other
forest tribes. This is formed by set
ting a flattened bamboo spear attached
to bent sapling, which is fastened to
n trigger In such way that 1t is re
leased by the passerby stumbling
against an invisible string stretched
across a game track. These spears are
really set for game, and to the initi-
ated they are obvious enough. as their
presence Is always indicated by GER
tain well known signs, such as
broken of twig placed In n cleft stick.
In war these signs are removed. the
removal being equivalent to the NOV
ing of buoys In a mined channel. The
wounds inflicted by these hardened
bamboo spears are necessarily serious.
The mental qualities Of the Negritos
are extremely undeveloped. none of
them being able to express higher
numerical idea than three, but all OBJ
servers who have met them unite in
saying that they are merry little peo-
pie, with great ideas of hospitality
when their confidence has been gained
and provided they have not been pre-
viously i'll treated. They are not can
nibals and are generally homogeneous.
London Times.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06
Notice For Publication.

Isolated Tract-Public Land Sale.
O59O5.
U. S. Land Office at The Dalles, Ore
Ron, Auguet 17th, 1910.
Notice is hereby given that, as di-
rected by the Commissioner of the Gen.
eral Land Office, under provisions oi
Act of Congress spproved June 27,
1906, Public-No. 303, we will offer at
public sale, to the highest bidder. at 10
O'Clock a. M, on the 4th day of October,
1910, next, at this office, the following
tract OF land, to wit:
SWL SWI, sec. "a and SEX SWA
SWA SEX sec. IA T. 2 s. r. "a E. w.
M.
Any persons claiming adversely the
above described lands are advised to
file their claims, or objections, on or be-
.ore the day above designated for sale.
G. W. MOORE, Register.
Aug 25 Sept 20
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06
The Miserable Villain.

Low Comedian-After all these years
Eggbert has at last succeeded In max
ing a hit with the audience.
Soubrette-So? How does he do 1t?
Low Comedian-You know he has
always played villain roles.
SOubrette-Yes.
Low Comedian-Well. in the last act
of a new play the author allows him
to repent and say, i've been a miser-
able villain That confession in
variably brings down the house.-Bos-
ton Post.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06
chlnese Root and Aerh Doctor.

Chinese Root and Herb Doctor.
He is an experienced compounder Of
Chinese Medicine. He treats success
fully all private, nervous and chronic
diseases, also blood, stomach, heart,
lung. liver, kidney, female. weakness,
catarrh and all diseases OF the body BY
the use of roots and herbs, especially
prepared for each case. If you cant
call at his office, write for home treat
ment. Consultation free. j. Man Foo,
successor to Hong Wo Tong Chinese
Medicine c., III w. Second St., Al
banY, Oregon,
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06

A pearl belonging to her brooch had
got fastened in the lace OF her collar.
He offered to disentangle it.
That's great trick Of mine." he
said as he wrestled with It. "Separat-
ing pearls from
"People| she interrupted In a fright
NO" said he; from Iaces. New
York Press.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06

II wonder why the bride is crying"
remarked one of the guests at the
wedding. Can 1t be because she is
leaving home?"
"No. 1t amt that" answered the
brides small brother. "She's in love
with the fellow she married. and
think she's crying cause she feels sor-
ry for him"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06
Knew What He Was Doing.

Booky from whom old gent has just
received 5 sovereigns at 4 TO D.
Now. then. Santa Claus. what are you
biting 'em for? Do you think I'd give
you wrong uns? Old Gent-Noa. lad
dy. It's no that: I'm just making sure
that haven't got that one back which
passed of on thee.-London Punch.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06
PIIIrnn Eird:a

She after the service)-You dreadful
fellow, Why did you smile during the
oTertory? he = couldn't help it.
There was Miss Addie Pose singing
"Had / the wings Of a dove" The
mental picture of a 200 FOUNDER trying
10 ny with a pair Of four inch wings
was too much for me.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06
No pannnr of That

Mrs. stubbs-John. no true man will
smoke up his wife's curtains. Mfr.
Stubbs-I should say not. Anybody
that smokes curtains would be a freak.
prefer cigars.-Chlcago News.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06
A Safe Lead.

81 hear Lem Boggs Sundayed with
ye. deacon"
''Ya'as."
Coin to lose yer darter, eh?"
Il reckon, but not TO Lem. Zeb Higgs
Mondayed. Tuesdayed. Wednesdayed
and Thursdayed with US. judge Zeb
is the lucky man."-Success Magazine
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06
NOTICE OF sHERIFF,s SALE.


By virtue Of an execution and order
of sac duly issued bv the Clerk of the
Circuit Court of the County OF Morrow,
State of Oregon, dated, the 9th day of
September, 1910, IN a certain action in
the Circuit Court for said County and
State, wherein Kenneth A. j.
Mackenzie, Plaintiff. recovered iudg-
ment against G. B. Sperry and Dona
Sperry, his wife. Defendants, for the
sum of two hundred seveusy-seyen and
5O-1O0 1927 SOY do lars. with interest
thereon at the rate of six per cent. per
annum from the Goth day of September.
1905, and the further sum of FIVE and no
100 $500 dollars Attorneys fee. and
costs and disbursements taxed at eight
and 6O-1O0 $500 dollars, on the Goth
day # September, 1906
Notice is hereby given that will on
Saturday, the 9Th day of October, 1910,
at 2 o'clock p. m , Of said d y, at the
front door OF the Court House. in Hepp-
utTs MOIfOW OOuhlNs OitBVuB htAt AT
public auction to the highest bidder for
cash in hand, the following described
property, to wit: All OF lots one (D
and two (2) and the East 20 feet of lot
90 in block seven 10 in Sperry's sec
ond addition to the town OF lone, Nor
row County. Oregon.
Taken and levied upon as the prop
erty of the said c. b. Sperry and Dona
sperry. bis wife, or so much thereof as
may be necessary TO satisfy the said
judgment in favor of Kenneth A. J.
Mackenzie, and against said G. B. SperrY
and Dona Sperry. together with ell costs
and disbursements that have or may
accrue.
f. VI. SHUT, Sheriff.
By GUS MALLORY. Deputy.
Dated at Heppner, Oregon, Sepiem-
Der 6, 1910.
Sept s-Oct6
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06

How did you enjoy her bohemian
evening""
1T wasn't much. Both the epigrams
and the sandwiches were stale" -
Washington Herald.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06

How do you know they're mar
EiedT'
Cant you see? He's making her
Bait her own 6shbooks Detroit
Free Press.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06

Church - Does your neighbor play
mat cornet without notes? Gotham
Ies, but not without comments. -
Uookers Statesman.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06
Notice for Publication - HsoIateG
Tract
Public Land Sale.
Nos OLS38-O5853.


United States Land Office, The Dalles
Oregon, July 10th, 1910.
Notice is hereby given that, as di-
rected by the Commits sioner of the
General Land Office. under provisions
of Act Of Congress approved June 27,
1906, Public-No. 30S, we will offer at
public sale, to the highest bidder, at
September, 1910. at this Office, the fol-
VIZ NW4 Sec SO and VIZ sWK
Sec. 28 T. AS. R. 26 E. W.
ANY persons claiming adversely the
above-described lands are advised 10
file their claims, or objections. on or
before the day above designated for
q w MOORE. ReOiatar.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06

The hen returned 10 her nest and
found il empty.
Very funny" said she: Il can never
find things where lay them."-Lippin-
cott's.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06

II have long line of ancestors who
were all Of my trade" said the baker.
"Oh, sort of bread line" smiled
the chump.-University of Minnesota
Minnehaha.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06
Discount on Coal.

Wyoming coal $9,5 so per ton delivered.
Five per cent discount for cash. 30 days.
Ten per cent interest charged after 80
days. E. E. BEAMAN.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06

For one who can stand prosperity
there are hundred that VIII stand ad-
Tersity.-csrlyle.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06

Those who can command themselves
command others.-Hazlitt.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06

A recognised suthority-Ths wesk1
oreroAiA1-
For news and OpiniOns-tBs OrsEOniSn
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06

The Heppner Gazette-the news OF Nor
row County; The Weekly Oregonian-tns
news and thought Of the world. Both At
= special price. Inquire or address Ths
Gazette. Heppnef. o..
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1910-10-06
Notice for Publication.

G. w. MOORE, Register
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-03-04

ID 1TTSBURG-Whe a certain pair
i of Pittsburg Newlyweds were hon.
ored by the arrival of their first baby
they decided to give the little fellow
substantial start in life by establish
ing a savings account for him right
from the day of his birth.
Accordingly bank was obtained
from one of the local savings insti
buttons; one of the combination af
fairs that can be opened only by the
bank officials. Each day papa and
mamma dropped in their spare pen
MES and when various doting rela
tives of the little chap called at the
house their attention was invariably
directed to baby's financial operations
and they seldom failed to step up tc
the mantel and contribute to the good
cause.
After time the parents began to
speculate on how much baby might
be worth, for 1t was regarded as quite
certain that grandpa, being so well
off, would not think of dropping in
less dollar each time, and Uncle
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-03-04
Fooled in a Plan to Bunco the Baby

JEFF, who was known as great
spender, would surely deposit no less
than half dollar, and both had been
frequent contributors. Then look at
the numerous quarters, dimes and
nickels that the many uncles and
aunties of Snookums must have
dropped in, for none Of them ever
failed to remember the bank when
they called. Must be anywhere from
$40 to $50 in it, figured the parents.
A few days ago Snookums attained
his first anniversary and it was de-
cided to deposit the contents of the
little bank in the big one downtown.
Now just at this time mamma
CHANGED to need new hat and, papa
being a bit short, it was decided to
borrow some from Snookums till pay
day.
II want to deposit SO of it," man.
ma told the bank teller, as she handed
him the nickelplated treasure box.
1.-THE balance I will take with me,
please"
The teller turned the little knob
this way and that, then opening the
door, poured out the hoard on the
window shelf. Then he carefully re-
pressed smile, while mamma, after
the first gasp, devoted herself to saw
agely biting her lips while the con-
tents were counted.
There were BAT pennies, four nick
els and one dime.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1910-03-04
Observation-Disclosures of all sort

IND1ANAPOLIS:-L Letters Of all sorts
1 arrive daily in the mails at the gov
ernor's Office some: of them depress
ing, some of them. mtrth-provoking
and some of which for pure nerve
quite take away the breath of the
chief executive, whose experiences be.
fore becoming governor, he is wont
to explain frequently, were confined
lagely to the business of a country
law Office.
One of the "nervy" ones came re-
Gently from Monongahela, Pa.
Dear sir" it ran. II am a Demo
crat and have seen hard service both
in the party and in the war. Just now
l am in pretty hard lines and need
some money. Please send me 500.
You can either let me have it as q
gift or will pay it back when l get
able."
"rhat fellow may be hard up" said
the governor, "but he doesn't know
what real financial hardship is. He
ought to try to be governor of Indi-
ana in these strenuous high price
times on the salary the state pays"
The 500 was not sent.
Since a New York syndicate a short
time ago published all over the coun.
try a feature story about the gov.