davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
AUNT DELIA'S BOLT

Miss Della Torrey, aunt Of President Tai
Is reported as saying that she blames the his
cost Of living on the Republican party, al
hopes for Democratic victory in Massachusetts
Alas! Aunt Della, is it true,
This awful thing read of you?
You, who have fed me apple pies
That brought glad wrinkles to mine eyes!
You, who have made me think that when
1 tired OF war with other men
In you l had a refuge still,
Where / could be plain Nephew WIFI"
But now! If Aldricn, Lodge and Payne
Had all combined to wreck my train
If all my few remaining friends
Had butchered me to serve their ends,
It could not bring a shock to me
Like this sad news from Millbury!
Too we'll, alas. I've known full long
That 1 had foes among the throng
That swore allegiance strong to me,
Yet snickered as they bent the knee!
I've come to put my trust no more
In him / once called Theodorel
I'm onto him, all right all right,
And always lock my door at night
But you'll Gee whizi How could see
That you would hand the gaff to mel
That you, my one sweet consolation,
Would bolt from my Administration!
Why did your Have e'er forgot
To praise your pies, served cold or hot?
Haven't l thought, and told you so,
Your pastry was like fakes OF snow?
Perhaps the ruin you can't see
That your remarks have made OF me.
Then let me tell you, Aunty D.,
II Roosevelt, with his tongue let free,
Had made an even score OF speeches,
Each OF the sort that he calls peaches"
Intended voters for TO charm,
He couldn't have done one-tenth the harm
That your few, simple words have done.
Alasi You've got me on the run
Farewell. Aunt Delia Au revolrl
Conspirator of Theodorei
New York World.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
Nomenclature
(Fanny Byrne. in Puck)

ne, in Pucl)
known poet, Mrs. Shewomans, set to
Womendelssohn's music, and as the
awomen died away the vast assemblage
was vislbly affected"
The local items also seemed strange:
"A well dressed Spanish woman,
wearing a lace womantilla and
bunch Of sheliotropes, after indulging
too freely in Womanhattan hentails at
the Hoffwoman house, was taken to
the hospital today, suffering from a Sc
we're attack OF delirium trewomens."
Sarah Bryant was convicted of wo-
manslaughter in Judge Mary Sullivan's
court in Beekwoman street this morn
ing"
An ad. caught my eye: "None genu-
inc unless bearing the stamp: Made In
Gerwomany.'
Amanda! Amanda! Wake up! 1t
was my sister Mildreds voice. "Ohi
So there is a man left? ?" said drowsi-
ly "What?" said Mildred. "a man
left? Yes, man left a note for you
which he said required an immediate
answer, but how did you know before
told you?"
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
RAILROAD FARE COMPLAINT

Editor Herald: One Of the causes
of Socialism and reasons for not seek
ing suburban homes is that the rail-
road rates for SHIRT rides from Fourth
and Hill streets to bowy rs Grove one
way is 25 cents, or both ways, getting
your ticket on car from any part of
city limits, so cents, or at office, Fourth
and Hill, both ways, 40 cents. Car
fare to Fourth and Hill 10 cents both
ways, making the total 80 cents. The
only remedy and the only redress is
Socialism. 1 have voted the Repub-
lican ticket f. 'ty years and am reg
ular subscriber for your valuable
paper. b. S. l..
Los Angeles, Cal.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
Los Angeles, Cal.
'socIALIsM's GAIN

Editor Herald: 1 read your editorial
"Socialism's Gain" with mixed feelings.
I was a good deal pleased; yet after
reading the last ten lines l was even
more puzzled than pleased. For, if So
cialism deserves the good word" you
give it, if the adoption of its doctrine
or principles indeed be, as you imply,
a sign of intelligence, then why, in
reasons sacred name. do we need to
consider logical check" to Socialism?
Can there be any shadow of logic in
checking the advance of something so
beneficent as your editorial figures So
cialism to be? G. A. WICkS.
Los Angeles, Cal.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
What a Parcels PoSt'Would Do
fCollier,a Weekly)

(Colnef 8
A fruit farmer at Albion, N. Y. lives
near the shore of Lake Ontario, where
the keen autumn air about this time
of year puts the finest flavor in the
world into those good old-fashloned
apples, Kings and Northern Spys. He
raises peaches, too, and one day in
September he picked thirty-six baskets
of them, packed them carefully, took
them to the railroad station and de-
livered them to the order and commits
sion department of the American Ex-
press company. A few days later the
farmer whose name is Marc w. Cole.
got a formal account of the transaction,
which reads thus
Thirty-slx baskets peaches at 30 cents
each Sl0.SO
Express charges ,.................,.. SlOO4
Money order ...................'..'.' .O3- 1907
.7s
The farmer in other words, received
2 cents each for his thirty-six baskets.
The labor and packing alone cost him
over 15 cents basket. Here is an
economic situation in which the farm
er saves money by leaving q crop of
splendid peaches to rot on the trees.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
A DEFICIENT EAR

"You should give your daughter an
occasional word of encouragement
about her music" said the instructor.
IT tried that" replied Mr.. Cumrox.
"I told her the other day that her play
ing had improved very much"
"Was she pleased?"
mo. Tears came into her eyes as
she explained that what 1 had been
listening to was the work of the piano
f11parD
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
THE BIBLE ON NUDITY

Editor Herald: I should like to re-
mind the writer of the letter signed
S. E. s., in your issue of November 3,
of the lunatic of whom it was said that
after he had been healed by Jesus OF
Nazareth he was found sitting clothed
and in his right mind; also, When L
was naked ye clothed me-" The nude
in art is the crude in art.
MOTHER.
Los Angeles, Cal.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
PAST HELP

The man with the old clock under
his arm laid it on the jewelers. show
case. II wish you'd see what is the
matter with this" he said.
The jeweler removed the dial,
screwed his eyeglasses into place and
inspe ted the works of the ancient
timepiece.
Nothing is the matter with it-now;
it's sufferings are over"
'Well, how much do l owe you?"
a=ked the man.
Nothing" answered the jeweler.
"This isn't a professional treatment.
This is coroner's inquest. YOUTHS
Companion.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
NOT A HEAVYWEIGHT

A short time ago young candidate
for parliamentary honors was address,
ing an open-air meeting in a rural dis
trict near Ipswich. He held his hat in
his left hand, crown downward, and
having deposited his Ms. inside, pro-
ceeded to read his speech. Presently
the speaker was interrupted by an old
rustic, who exclaimed:
More in thee at than in thee 'ead,
ladu'-Tit- Bits.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
AN EFFORT TO oBLIGE

"Mr Lobrow does his best to be
agreeable" said the sympathetic
young woman. IT'S too bad that he
has so little tact"
'I understand that Miss Coddleyap
refuses to speak to him. He sent her
a box of candy and she fed 1t all to
her pet terrier. So he tried to be still
more kind and thoughtful and sent
her a box of dog biscuit.
ton Star.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
Couldn't DO 1T

"I can't stay long" said the chair
man Of the committee from the colored
church. II just came to see If yo'
wouldn't join de mission band"
"Fo' de Ian sakes, honey" replied
the old nanny, "doan' come to me- 1
can't even play a mouf-organ. Lip
pincott's.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
THE BATTLE HYMN

Editor Herald: Am glad to see that
grand hymn by Julia Ward Howe in
your columns today The Battle
Hymn of the Republic is truly and
grandly inspiring. l have read 1t for
the thousandth time, and it is always
fresher and sweeter.
1t should be engraven on the hearts
of every child in the republic.
J. r. K.
Los Angeles Cal
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
SEQUENCES IN HISTORY

Once upon a time rabbits were taken
to Australia for some good purpose,
but remained to become a menace to
the country; the English sparrows
were introduced into this country to
rid it Of caterpillars, but they re-
mained to become a nuisance; Hous-
ton imported gun men to disarm the
pistol toters-but why continue the
story?-Beaumont Enterprise.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
CERTAIN SOLID PHRASES

The death of the first stereotyper"
was recently announced from Wash
ington, but the announcement omitted
to state whether the deceased first
stereotyped He said in part or He
spoke as follows."-New Orleans Times
Democrat.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
HIS ONLY HOPE

w. o. Hart of New Orleans tells this
story: An old negro was brought up
before the judge charged with chicken
stealing, and when the usual question
was propounded, Guilty or not
guilty?" he said: "I don't know, boss;
I Jest throw myself on the ignorance
of the court Case and Comment.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
AN ENDURING ENTERPRISE

did any of your ancestors do things
to cause posterity to remember them?"
asked the naughty woman.
'I reckon they did" replied Farmer
Corntossel my grandfather put
mortgages on this place that amt
paid off t"-Washington Star.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
THE JOB FOR HIM

Blobbs-I don't know what to make
of that boy of mine. He is never
around when he is wanted.
Slobbs-Why don't you try to get
him a Job on the police force?-Phila-
delphia Record
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
UNFEELING TOMMY

Mother-What are you crying for,
BERTHE?
Bertie-Tommy hurt me-
Mother-How did he hurt you?
Bertie-I was going to hit him, and
he ducked his head SOS 1 hit the wall.
-Boo-hoo Tit
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
ENTIRELY sUPERFLUOUs

Gen. Weyler has received orders from
the Spanish government to put down
any insurrection "mercilessly," Gu.
bans will regard the use of that ad-
verb as quite unnecessary.-Kans
City Star.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
Far and Wide
ENJOYING SWEET SLEEP

In England motorcycles make no
more noise than a sewing machine. In
this country a motorcycle makes more
noise than a freight train. Where is
the Society for the Prevention of Pan
demonium on the Public Streets? p
Oklahoma City Oklahoman.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
THE INNOCENT MAID

''Do you believe in high license?"
asked the young man in the parlor
scene.
"Well," replied the innocent maid
at don't believe the license should be
high enough to discourage matri-
m6ny y"-Chicago News.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12

The difference between our Dune.
NIcKinlay and William 3. Mckinley OF
the Republican committee as an cleo
tion forecaster seems to be just one
small letter.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
Merely in Jest
HIS SINGULAR PREJUDICEs

what do you consider the loudest
crying evils of this country" flip
PANTY asked the reporter.
The militant reformer and sociologist
who had come from the other side of
the ocean to straighten out the tangle
in this crude and uncouth republic did
not hesitate a moment.
Your barbarous jails and your half
civilized sleeping cars!" he roared. IT
have been incarcerated in both!"-Chi-
cago Tribune.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12

Wisconsin man laughed himself to
death over a hobble skirt. Did you
ever hear of men wearing anything
that would have that effect on a per-
son?
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
LUXURIOUS PICTURE

How would you like a game picture
for your dining room? A brace of
canvasbacks, say?"
mo cheap stuff for me. Paint me a
picture of a dozen eggs"
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
CONTRARY

'I find 1 no longer love him."
"Then why not break the engage
ment?"
"I have an idea that he wants me
to break it,"
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12

A local mans collar bone vas frac-
tured in a struggle with a collar but
ton. The dog-gone thing has been
fracturing tempers by the million for
generations.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
A NEW LINE-O,-RAGE

We wish Mergenthalers cost only 10
cents apiece. There are times when
we would like very much to get an ak
and smash few of them up just for
exercise.-Houston Post.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12

Those who think that Theodore
Roosevelt has been put down and out
are advised in our kindliest manner
not to bet any of their good money on
the proposition,
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
THE PERENNIALLY BITUMINoUs

THE PERENNIALLY BITUMINOUS
Coal dealers in Chicago say that city
is facing the most serious coal famine
since 1902. Coal buyers in Chicago
doubtless know from their sad ex-
periences of I903-04-05- -06-07 -08-09 just
what effect that familiar cry is going
to have upon the price.-New Orleans
Times Democrat.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12

Stockholders Of a New England cot
ton mill received a 100 per cent divi-
dend the other day, and are now prob
ably wondering why so many people
we're foolish enough to vote the So
cialist ticket.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12

The Outlook Cheering is a headline
in an exchange. Closer inspection of
the article underneath shows that it
does not refer to the New York Out
look
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12

1.-THE census frauds are all in the
Republican states" says a paper. OF
course the comment was written when
there were some Republican states.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12

The men who want the New York
express strike settled are the merchant
and the consumer, but what do they
amount to?
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12

One rumor has it that Col. Roosevelt
thinks of moving TO the west. If he
will come to lovely Los Angeles he will
hear noise like Welcome-to-our-
citY
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12

If those Mexicans keep up their
nonsense wen have TO send down a
company of marines to lick their reg
ular army.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12

Six more pay days before Christmas
but don't forget that there will be
none for a lot of unfortunates.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
COULDN'T JOIN

She got disgruntled on the spot,
Quite angry made
To find this antitoxin not
A new crusade.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12

If you should see a tall, slim gen
tleman walking down street with crepe
on his arm it is NOT Clifford Pinchot,
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12

The sad thing for them is that the
cities we have passed will never have
a chance to catch up with us.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12

We infer from the illustrations with
local organ that Hearst has been
chiefly if not wholly the cause Of the
great growth Of Los Angeles
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12

Suppose we gave woman the ballot,
like the last one and then plunge right
into the business of Christmas shop
ping, and stand it?
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12

The result of the election in the
east is as plain as A B C-Aldrich,
Ballinger, Cannon.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12

Now watch Mr. Taft turn the screws
little tighter on the undertaking
magazines.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12

And is nobody going to give q job
around the court house to the colored
lady who assisted in the campaign?
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12

As a seer on socio-economic ques-
tions Boss Herrin is about as useful as
a last years birds nest.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12

WHEN THE TRUTH SLIPPED IN
At Third avenue and 172d street you
can get Fine readymade skirts made
to order $1."-New York Mail.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
NO CHANGE IN METHOD

In the political conventions the key
notes are sounded on wind instruments.
Chicago Evening Post.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12

Nobody ever asks any more whom
Hearst is supporting; the question is,
whom is he knocking?
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
PUBLIC LETTER BOX


resposLbnIy for their We've
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
REVERSAL OF FoRMTTLA

Rose Stahl will kindly note that in
the Crippen case it is not exactly the
woman who pays, pays, pays!-Terre
Haute Star.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12

Ha! A contemporary beat us to it
New York state is now Dixy-land.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-11-12
CLEAR, CRISP AND CLEAN

Population of Los Angeles 319,198
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1910-07-05
Canadians. in Henley Regatta.

London, July 5.-The annual Hen
ley regatta opened today. No col
lege eight from the opposite side of
test for the Grand Challenge cup,
the water figures this year in the con-
but the Winnipeg four is entered for
the Stewards Challenge cup, while in
the challenge diamond scull COMPETE
ton Canada is represented by James
Cosgrove of the Argonaut Rowing
club of Toronto. For the first time
in many years Belgium has sent no
contestants to the regatta this year.
The absence of the Belgians, how
ever, is offset by the unusual num-
Der of entries from Germany and
Holland.
In view of the worldwide atten-
ton always given to the Royal Hen
ley" it is interesting to recall how
insignificant was the beginning Of
the great Thames regatta. Although
as early as 1929 the rival university
crews of Oxford and Cambridge met
on what is now the Henley course ON
the Thames, it was not until ten
years later that the actual regatta
was organized. In 1889 the inhabit-
ants of Henley formed a committee,
with the Earl of Macclesfield as pa
iron, and decided to offer a silver
cup valued at one hundred guineas as
1.-The Henley Regatta Grand Chal-
lenge Cup" to be rowed for annually
by amateur crews in eight-oared
boats. Later the Stewards cup for
crews Of four and the diamond scull
competition were added to the pro-
gram.
The first regatta was held on June
IA, 1889, and was notable for a great
struggle between Oxford and Cam
bridge for the Grand Challenge cup,
the prize eventually falling to Trim
ity, of the latter university. Local
amateurs competed in a four-oared
contest and there was also race be-
tween London watermen. These
three events completed the first pro-
gram of what was destined to become
the biggest and most fashionable
aquatic meeting in the world.
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1910-07-05

Signor Luigi Luzzatti, the new Ital-
ian premier, being also minister Of the
interior. was conducted the other day
over the spacious archives Of that de-
partment. Heaving a sigh at the
mountainous piles of dust laden Gocu.
ments. Signor Luzzatti asked. us ii
really necessary or desirable to pre-
serve all these accumulations?''
Decidedly So" quickly retorted the
curator. Here. for instance" ex
claimed he. picking up a bundle at
haphazard. lis a dossier dealing with
a grand scheme of administrative re-
form which occupied successive min
listers for thirty years."
'Heavensr' calculated Signor Luz
zatt1. now profoundly interested.
Lets have look at it."
Imagine the poor curator's plight
when. the parcel being undone. the
contents were found to consist of a
big bouquet Of faded violets. very
old pair Of gloves and large liver
patty. all supposed to be relics Of the
faro6 days when Crispi ruled.-Milan
Letter to London Chronicle.
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1910-07-05
MUSICAL.
CIVIL ENGINEERS
MECHANICAL ENGINEERS.

UNITED ENGINEERING COMPANY,
Mechanical Engineers. Irrigation.
Power or Electric Plants. Gas
Producers. 25-26 P.-I. Building,
Seattle, Wash.
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1910-07-05

"Most modern houses yet built" an
nounced the enthusiastic agent-"elec-
tricity, cemented yards, instantaneous
water heaters. all the modern, latest.
up to date improvements. including
padded closets in every room"
why padded?" asked the prospec-
tive buyer.
$50 the neighbOrs can't hear the
family skeletons in 'em rattling."-
timOre American.
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1910-07-05
Jonah's Error.

A water front missionary In New
Bedford when that old town was the
whaling capital of the world was try
ing to make a Biblical start with
Kanaka boat steerer by telling him the
story of Jonah and the whale.
THAT man JONES'" interrupted the
hstener-'why didn't they throw him
overheard again?
"FOr WHAT" asked the missionary.
For letting the whale get away
Everybody's.
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1910-07-05
Illustration.

"He bent forward over the table"
Such was the line which the artist
chose to illustrate with his deft pen
Gil, and passage more poignantly
fraught with meaning it would not
be easy to find, for if the man in the
story had bent backward over the ia
BILE his beautiful vis-a-vis would scarce
ly have known what to think, and the
course of true love might have been
entirely different.-Puck.
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1910-07-05
HUMoR or The Dl
The Coroner and the Stal
Who is dead:. The Merry wi

Who is dead:. The Merry Wi
How old VS. she? Ninety
Nine"
How did she die? The EaMc(
Way"
Where did she die? .Forty-five Mn
utes From Broadway"
When did she die? "At the Witch
ing Hour"
What made her linger? Fighting
Hope"
Who found her first? "The Servant
In the House.
Who got her jewels? 1.-THE Thief"
What did the news spread like?
"Wildfire.''
Did she leave any family? Yes;
"Three Twins
Who came from Europe to attend
her funeral? Miss Hook of Holland"
How was the news sent? "Via Wire
less
Who spread the news? THE Trav-
cling Salesman"
Were there any well known people
there? Yes, 1.-The Yankee Prince
Who prayed for her? Salvation
Nell
Where was she buried? Fifty Miles
From Boston,"
What military company acted as
pallbearers? THE Boys of Company
e."
Who assisted in lifting the coffin?
Samson
Who furnished the music? 1.-THE Mu-
sic Master
Was the undertaken paid? Yes;
Paid In Full"
What did they pay him with? Brew
ster's Millions
What was it? "The Talk of the
Town"
Where did she go to? THE Devil
Columbia News.
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1910-07-05
PHOTOGRAPHS.

PHOTOGRAPHS at cut prices, July
4th and 5th only. High class
work. An opportunity you should
not miss. Bixler's Studio, 210
First St. North. To
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1910-07-05

FOR SALE OR EXCHANGE-Farm
land in Wisconsin. Also modern
brick business block and a grain,
lumber and coal business in Iowa.
Address G. A. Pearsall, Orchard
Ave, City. 7-8
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1910-07-05

FOR SALE-Or will trade for We
natchee property, a 16-acre tract.
s acres in orchard; So inch wa
ter per acre. Located in Entiat
Fruit Lands, On the Columbia
Write J. D. Bonar. Waterville.
Wash. e t.
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1910-07-05

FOR SALE-10 acres, with water,
close to Peshastin, ready for trees,
at $4O0 an acre, $500 cash.
"a ACRES near Leavenworth, build
ings, tools, good water right, fine
spring, alfalfa, fruit and grain.
An excellent buy at $500; $1,000
cash. Address ]. A. Dorman, Lea
venworth, Wash. If
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1910-07-05
HOUSE CLEANING.
TAILORING

H. w. SCHROEDER, Tailor. Clothes
cleaned and pressed. Ladies gar
ments altered. 81 Wenatchee Ave.
North
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1910-09-23
FOR THE SKIN AND SCALP

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