The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1910-03-24
THE GOOD OLD DAYS.

Chas. w Bell, State Insurance Com
missioner and editor OF the Kentucky
Republican. responded to the toast,
'The Good Old Days" at banquet
In Louisville recently II Is so good
that We reproduce for the Courier
readers.
How would you like TO return To
the Good old Days before the bill
collector was turned loose upon the
unprotected public
Before people knew that they had
concealed within their anatomies thai
dreadful and worthless piece of ma
chinery known as the veriform ap
pendix
when every doctor had his "saddl,
bags" with him. and no matter what
the trouble was. he gave you Gallo
mel and quinine. and II always cured
you
Before we were notified on every
hand that countless thousands of
death-dealing microbes lurked In ev.
erything from loves first honoyed
kiss to skillet of fried onions =?
Before II became stylish to sleep
away the long winter nights on n
hard. thin mattress between two cold
sheets
When eggs were so cheap that your
wife didn't hoard them up and rush
them off to market. without leaving
even enough for an eggnog
when boys wore red.topped. brass
toed boots, and girls dressed In plain
dresses and wore their hair plated
down their backs without sugges.
ton OF spit ourls. rats and psyche
knots
When everybody used the same
kind OF "cologn p
When an invitation 20 a wedding
and the Unfair didn't have to be
responded TO with a cut glass punch.
bowl. when In all probability the very
same day you sent the aforesaid bowl
you were forced to drink butter.milk
out OF a stone china coffee cup ?
When there were no telephones by
which your wife could order lot OF
trash that she did not need. and could
notify you to come home before you
had scarcely struck the club or the
corner grocery
when a girl could make up her bed
and sweep her room WITHOUT having a
well defined case OF nervous pros.
tration 2"
When a boy could split a little
kindllng and carry In two buckets OF
coal without having a pain in his
side or the headache
When mother could get children
off In time for school. do all the
household work. take a lot OF good
things to several sick neighbors and
not have to be sent annually to the
hospital for repairs
When mothers looked after their
babies instead OF the pet dog ?
When men settled their difficulties
by appealing to their neighbors or
with bare fists. instead Of with Win
chesters and in the courtroom ?
When a man could take a little
wine for his stomach's sake without
going home drunk and beating up his
wife and terrorizing the children gen
orally
When you didn't have 10 sell
good horse to buy your wife n hat.
and farm to buy her a coat suit ?
When a woman's evening dress
came as high up as II did low down,
When a boy at Christmas time was
satisfied with a package OF fire-crack.
ers and three hog bladders. and a girl
was delighted with a china doll and
a candy sheep ?
Before kids learned TO write a let
ter TO Santa Claus, asking for wa
CONS, guns. pistols. dolls. doll bug
gies, doll beds. trains. automobiles,
candy, bananas. oranges. nuts. wear
ing apparel OF every description and
cart and a live pony
When we used candles and tallow
dip and didn't have to pay tribute to
the Standard OIL Co.
When boys spoke OF their parents
as father" and mother" instead OF
"the old lady" and the governor?
When children were taught to obey
their parents rather than parents
made TO obey the child
When shoes were fitted to the feet
and not feet fitted TO the shoes ?
When everybody worked. including
father Z?
When womens shoe heels were
really where they ought to be and
not stuck in the shoe at an angle OF