Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1910-01-26
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She (reading) And so they were
married and that was the last OF
their troubles. Him (sotto vocs)-
Last. but not least! Cleveland Lead.
Or.
That man has broken more records
than anyone else ever heard Of" IA
runnerf' "No; he owns graphic.
phone. Stanford University Chapar-
raj.
Highland Ferryman (during momen.
tary lull in the storm )-Im thenkin'.
sir. I'll Just tax yer fare; theres NO
sayin' what micht happen tae u.s.
Punch.
Teacher-B-a-i-t; what does that
spell? Tommie- Don't know. ma'am.
Teacher-Why, what do you catch f1sh
with? Tommy oh, worms!- Yonkers
Statesman.
1T seems to me that I have seen
you before" You have. my lord.
used to give your daughter singing
lessons Twenty years.""-Ca ssell's
Saturday Journal
Il have chance to marry. an ND.
man who has lots of money" why
don't your" HE hasn't any bad hab-
its. and comes of long-llved family
Chicago Record.Herald.
I'll work no more for that man Do
Ian" AN why?" "shure, It's. on
account av a remark he made" IAN
phwat was that?" Says he, Casey
says he. we're discharged
The Lady-My husband. sir. as sent
me to say q won't be able to come and
do the little Job you arst I'm to; 'e's
promised to go round the town with
the unemployed" A. p.
Mrs. Gramercy-I feel so wretched,
Il found dark hair on the suit my
husband wore last summer Mrs Park
Don't worry. dear. II you remember.
your hair was dark last year.-Lippln.
colts.
An automobile enthusiast proposes
the building of motor road from the
Atlantic to the Pacific, with road
houses and garages every five miles.
Why omit hospitals?-New York Even.
ing Post.
"Gee!" said the observing small boy.
when l grow up I'm going after
political job" What for?" asked the
man. Sos can go to the ball games
every afternoon" he replied.-Detroi
Free Press.
Conceited Bridge Player-Come hero
and sit by me. Kittie. You can learn
good deal by watching my game.
Kittie Quicktongue-No. thanks.
never could profit by other peoples
mistakes.-Life.
Blobbs-At the next station we stop
ten minutes for refreshments. Slobbs
II wonder why trains stop only ten
minutes at railroad eating houses.
Blobbs-Probably for humane reasons.
Philadelphia Record.
Farmer smallseed-Listen to this.
Elviry. This paper says that they
have found in Italian prisons the pet
rified remains of some of the prison
era. His Wife-Do tell! Them mus
be them hardened criminals we hear
about. -Harper's Weekly.
Things look rather run down around
here" remarked the man who had just
returned after many years to his ma.
tive village Run down? should
say so" replied the friend OF his
youth. There's a motor car comes
through here about every three min.
utes."
Mother -Johnng. you said.yon'd been
to Sunday school? Johnny with far.
away look) Yes, mamma. Mother
How does 1t happen that your hands
smell Of fish? Johnny-I carried home
the Sunday school paper, an the out
side page is all about Jonah and the
whale!-Western Christian Advocate.
Mother (viciously scrubbing her
small boys face with soap and water)
Johnny. didn't tell you never to
blacken your face with burnt cork
again? Here have been scrubbing
half an hour and 1t won't come OF.
Boy (between gulps)-I UGH! amt
your little boy--uch! l'se Nose, de
colored lady's boy.
"Now. Mr.. Blank" said temper
ance advocate to candidate for mu.
nicipal honors. II want to ask you
question. do you ever take alco.
holic drinks?" Before l answer the
question" responded the wary candi.
date, II want to know whether It il
put as an inquiry or as an invitation"
Philadelphia Inquirer.
did you ever stop to think. my
dear" said Mr.. Micawber, gazing at
his plate of lobster salad, that the
things which we love most in this life
are the very things that never agree
with us?" will you be SO kind"
said Mrs. Micawber. ''as to tell me
whether you are speaking of the salad
ID ns, rv1sA yHsA I