davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1910-07-10
BREAKING 1T GENTLY.

SIMPKINs always was soft hearted, and when
it devolved upon him to break gently the news of
Tones's drowning to the bereaved Mrs. Jones, it
cost him much paper, ink and perspiration before
ne sent the following:
DEAR Mrs JoNEs-Your husband cannot come
home to-day, because his bathing suit was washed
away
"P. S-Poor Jones was inside the suit
Modern Society.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1910-07-10
4 TERRIBLE BLUNDER.

DRUGGIsr-Whatever is the matter with your
You seem awfully excited over something or
other.
AssIsTANT-No wonder. Mrs. Griggsby want
ed an ounce of boric acid and | gave her an
ounce of strychnine by mistake.
DRUGGIsT-We1l, of all the careless idiots, you
head the list Have you any idea of the value OF
strychnine ?-ByStander.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1910-07-10
PROFANING THE GRAMMAR.

KATIE fve-year-od resident OF Boston, ac-
cording to To-day'S Mdgdsine, ran to her father
one morning exclaiming, Father, brother Harold
swore!'
"Swore, did hep inquired the parent, grimly
reaching for his slipper "What did he say ~
"He said amt, responded Katie, solemnly
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1910-07-10
asantries Aimed at the Foibles of Human Natul

VERY ANNOYING TO THE SHOPKEEPER
A wELL-DREssED man was standing outside
booksellers shop in Charing Cross road, closely
examining one of Balzacs works, illustrated by
Gustave Dore "How much is this Balzac?' he
asked an assistant outside
twenty-five shillings,' was the reply
ooh, that's far too much. | must see the man
ager about reduction" continued the prospective
customer, and, suiting the action to the word, he
took up the book and went into the shop.
Approaching the bookseller, he took the book
from under his arm and asked what ne would
give for it. Seven shillings, highest offer, he
was told
The offer was accepted-the man took his
money, and left.
"Well," quered the assistant later after the man
had gone were you able to hit off with the
gentleman, sir !"
"Oh, yes. I managed to get another copy of
that edition of Balzac for seven shillings."
Then the bookseller went out to lodge COM
plant with the police.-Veekb Telegraph
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1910-07-10
CULINARY NOTE.

HUSBAND (to his qVife)-Look Here
some splendid mushrooms just what you are
looking for.
WIFE-They aren't poisonous I suppose, are
they?
HUsBAND-Oh, no. Besides, if they are, it
doesn't matter to me- | never eat them-LTe.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1910-07-10
JUST 4 HINT

Mrs. SHARPLEY-Next time you call | want
you to give your opinion of the new dog we are
going to get.
Mr. BoRE-Delighted, I'm sure! When do you
expect it?
Mrs. SHARPLEY-Oh not for twelve months,
at least Penny Pictorial
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1910-07-10
POSTAL REFORM NEEDED.

TA1LoR-The postal service is in wretched
condition.
FRIEND-Never noticed it.
TAILoR-Well, | have. During last month |
sent out one hundred and eighty statements of
account with requests for immediate payment,
and, so far as 1 can learn not more than two of
my customers received their letters.-Chcdgo
NeaVS
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1910-07-10
4 SIGN OF THE TIMES.

do YOU see that man going along with his
head in the air. shifting with his nose?"
Eyes; | know him.
81 suppose he believes in taking in the good,
pure ozone"
NO. he's hunting for motor garage, l be-
lieve"-Sketch.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1910-07-10
NOT As EXPECTED.

This boy" said the proud mother to a neigh
bor do grow more like his father every day
And the neghbor, knowing the father, asked;
DO he, now? And have YOU tried every
thing ?'-Pmch.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1910-07-10
THE LIGHT FANTASTIC

Sc Gas they dance)-I'm afraid I'm firing yot
rather.
HE-Oh not at all. I used to be attendant il
the elephant house at the zoo-Megg. Blaetter.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1910-07-10
THE PSYCHOLOGICAL MOMENT

THE PSYCHOLOGICAL MOMENT
as Miss Wheaton at homer asked one of the
neghbors of the spinster, he called at her door
to get her signature to petition.
'She is that responded Celia Leahy, three
weeks over from Ireland and most willing
handmaiden will yez step in, sorr?'
Il should like to see her on matter of bust
ness for few moments If she is not engaged
said the neighbor.
Celia flung wide the door and waved him in.
IF she has wan, he's neglectin her shameful,
she said, in hoarse, confidential whisper tor
It's three weeks to-morrer since I come here, and
he's not put his fut over the treshod in all that
tonne Sure. It's your chanst P'-YoHthS Com
bdnioH.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1910-07-10
CLEVER IDEA.

LADY-My cooking always tastes so good to
Won, and it never suits my husband at all.
BEGGAR-Well, why don't you get divorce
and marry me ?-Megg. BlaeHer.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1910-07-10
PERVERSE IS EVER.

PERVERSE IS EVER.
''WHY are you so sad?'
"My wife has been ordered to the country for
three months
81 understand"
mo you don't; she won't go" Fliegcnde
Bldetter.
NEARLY FINISHED.
EDIroR-Have you got that poem on the polit-
ical situation ready yet?
DISTRACTED TAME PoET-Not quite yet. But
I've got the rhymes fixed and I've only got to fill
in the lnes.-ScrabS.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1910-07-10
PAINLESS PUNISHMENT.

ONE day dentist had occasion to punish his
fve-year-old son for disobedience. AS he picked
up the rod the little fellow said:
Papa, won't you please rive me gas frst?"-
Judy.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1910-07-10
SAUCY BOY!

SHE-Waste is sinful.
HE-Not always. l know waist which is
gelic PUCK
, 1910-04-14
Saratoga Chips

R. A. Day visited Saratoga Satur-
day.
Mrs. W. L. Ryan visited Saratoga
Monday.
Saratoga will have two auction sales
Saturday.
Jack Neff left Tuesday for Salmon
City, Idaba.
Mr.. and Mrs. w E. Sears we're
down Saturday.
F. A. Raynor left Monday for a
visit to Colorado Springs.
Miss Vertina johnson was in on a
shopping expedition Monday.
Miss Margaret Nichols was down
from Encampment Tuesday.
DIR. S D. Green returned Saturday
from an extended visit to Denver.
W. E. Tilton was transacting bust
ness here between trains yesterday.
, 1910-04-14
Mondell's Magnificent Work

Mondell's bill restoring homestead
aud desert land rights to all those
who had forfeited the same prior to
the approval of the act has passed the
house of representatives aud will
doubtless become a law. 1t is the
practice of congress to pass an act of
this nature about once in two or three
years. Many homesteads are for
feited by those who are unfortunate
in some way and it is not considered
any loss to the people generally to re-
store those rights and permit them to
try it again.
, 1910-04-14
No Spirit of Revolt.

From a Republican standpoint the
discussion going on is highly salutary.
There are no evidences of insurgency
or revolt. The whole tone % the
discussion is admonotiry. Press and
people merley indicate what we must
do to keep together and hold the
Republican strength. Every good
Republican prefers to vote his own
ticket.
He only bolts when he thinks he
has a real grievance. If the voters
name their W ticket they can not
complain. They must carry their
share of the responsibility and must
help elect the candidates chosen.-Wy-
oming Tribune.
, 1910-04-14
The inimitable Roosevelt.

Colonel Roosevelt, is the only ex-
president in the world who could in
one day speak to newspaper cores
pondents in four different languages,
English. German, French and Italian
decline to accept an audience with the
pope son conditions" call off an
American reception in Rome because
of the actioDs of a Protestant minis
ter, find himself condemned by some
Catholics and commended by others,
criticised by professionals here eulogiz-
ed there, in short stir up a worldwide
rumpus aud come out Of IL oil smiling
, 1910-04-14
Has Saratoga Any of this'

The Douglas papers report that
parents of that town are billed for a
good many heartackes. Boys rang
ing from IL to Is are getting whisky
and drinking it and are also getting
material for making cigarettes. Pres
ident Pfaeging of the state humane
board is investigating the matter and
will try to find a remedy.-Laramie
Republican.
, 1910-04-14


Al. Doggett came up from Denver
this morning on a short business ,rip
B. A. Kidding and daughter Ruth
were down from Cow creek Monday.
Supt. Frank j. Cramer went to
Rawlins on a business visit YESTERDAY
Mrs 1. w. Want and son Ira q
were in Monday on a business visit.
j. A. H. Bush, the mineral water
man went up to Encampment Sunday.
j. s. Stanley came up from Fl.
Collins Tuesday on a business visit
Mr.. and Mrs. Chef Cluff were in
from Spring creek Friday and Satur-
day.
Rev. Forde will go out to Cedar
creek Sunday to preach at the school
house.
Mr.. and Mrs. Ralph A. Campbell
were up from Walcott on u visit to
relatives and friends.
Warren Edwards is having his resi-
dence property improved with a sub.
stantial woven wire fence.
Mrs: Kincaid. accompanied by her
sons, Arthur and Harold, was in from
her Pass creek ranch Saturday.
The valley is receiving so me much
needed moisture in the way of a gen
eral snow storm al we go to press.
Robert A. Day, one of the solid
%ranchmen of this valley, was doing
business in Saratoga yesterday.
Clerk of Court, c. R. Watson of
Rawlins, and A. c. Loud, from Chic
ago, were up Monday for a little trout
fishing.
Bert Thompson came up yesterday
from Hope Kansas and is visiting
with his uncle, Isaac Wagner, at
this place.
d S. Richmond has invested in a
large Percheron stallion and will
stand the horse at his stables here in
Saratoga.
Jens Hansen was a passenger on
the train for Encampment yesterday,
going up for a visit with his sons
family, g. A. Hansen.
Winthrop Condict was down yes
terday on business connected with
the census enumeration, OF which he
is one of the officers.
The little daughter of MI. and Mrs.
Sheppard Is very low with pneumonia
following %whooping cough.
Mr.. aud Mrs Len A. Huston and
Master Aubrey we're down from the
ranch Sunday for a visit with the
family of William Turnbull.
Miss Edith Dunn, a neice of MIR.
and Mrs. j. F Crawford, who resi-
DIES at Ida Grove, Iowa, arrived here
yesterday on a visit.
Mrs. Frank White, Mr.. and Mrs.
Harry Kincaid aud little daughter,
were down from North Fork Saturday
to do some shopping.
Roy Bailey, accompanied by his
neice, Mrs. Harry B~reitenstein, came
up from Rawlins Sunday'on a short
visit to bis sister, Mrs. H. A. Dyer.
The Campbell Sheep Co. and the
Savage Sheep Co. are building shear
ing pens at the Stockwell ranch on
Pass creek, where they will begin
shearing about the 18th of this mon
tn
, 1910-04-14

Notice is hereby given, that there
will be a municipal election held in
he town of Saratoga, Wyoming, OF
Tuesday the 10th day of May, A. d.
1910, for the purpose of electing "A
a mayor for the term Of one year, and
, 1910-04-14
Roosevelt hi Lover.

All the world loves a lover. When
Mr.. Roosevelt turned aside from re-
ceptions and stirring events to take
up the old trail over which he and
Mrs. Roosevelt passed upon their
wedding tour, the world looked on
with approval. Above all things Mr..
Roosevelt is the kind husband and
father, and the same lover of the old
DAYS.
, 1910-04-14

and more popular than before.
Roosevelt is as original and daring
as Napoleon, as many-sideed as Frank
lin; he is as stubborn and fearless as
Andrew jackson and as patriotic as
Mckinley.
He is for peace but will fight al the
drop OF the hat. He is no respe ctrr
OF persons and never stoops to con-
quer.
Like Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt
throughout his stormy, independent
career, has held all the real friends he
ever had and made the wrath of his
enemies to praise him. Wyoming
Tribune.
, 1910-04-14

two councilmen for the term of two
years each. Notice is further given
that said election will be held in the
town hall, of the town of Saratoga,
Wyoming. Signed
Attest, Fl. e. Pilon
u NJ flalster, Mayor
Clerk.
, 1910-04-14

WYoMING.-Situated on the North Platte River, on the
line of the Saratoga & Encampment Railway, Population, 1000,
Altitude. 67S5 feet. 1t is the site of the Medical Hot Springs, the
waters of which are a sure specific for all blood and skin diseases
rheumatism, stomach liver and kidney disorders. Temperature of
water 13S degrees. Saratoga is also the center of the finest trout
fishing grounds in the World. Not only the North Platte River
teens with Rainbow, Brook and Salmon trout, but the numerous
tributaries of that stream are alive with fish. Saratoga is the center
of an agricultural country of 100000 acres of the best agricul-
tural land in the west. The soil and climate are adapted to the
growth of alfalfa wheat, oats, barley, all kinds of small fruits and
vegetables. The Saratoga Valley is the finest stock raising country
in the United States. The Sierra Madre range D the west and the
Medicine Bow range of mountains on the east, are full of "copper"
gold and silver, which is being developed rapidly. All of tue re-
sources of the valley center at Saratoga, which is certain to become
one of the greatest towns of the west. For information address, The
Saratoga Board of Trade, The Saratoga State Bank, The First Ma
tional Bank or the Saratoga Sun.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1910-02-05

tine sheets. "Bill, I'd like to run that
one, Senator Deering dead YETI"
mo. not yet"
The managing editor was disgusted.
"Pshaww he exclaimed. "I'n bet the
old codger dies for the afternoon pa.
pers. We're having rotten luck lately"
The telephone rang.
"Hello Who's thisY' cried McHenry
savagely. But his voice changed alb.
ruptly TO it's most sugary tones.
"Oh Mr.. Nolan, this is Mr.. McHen.
ry. Yes; why, the boy said I'd gone to
the theater. He's new to newspaper
Offices. Yes, indeed, He doesn't know
we newspaper men have little time for
theaters- indeed-ha. hal was
downstairs in the press room all the
time-yes indeed; trouble with the
roller ON cylinder 3 OF the color
press, and ] happen to have a bit of q
mechanical turn of mind-yes, indeed.
Anything can do for you. sir7 Hope
We may have the pleasure OF showing
you over the otlice-your ofIlce-pretty
soon, Yes, sir Tonight2 Yes, any
time, We're always here. Yes, sir.
Thank You"
He hung up the receiver and re-
verted to his natural voice. Its the
new boss Moore, S coming down to-
night"
u wonder IL that means more
changes" observed the night editor
as he filled his pipe.
McHenry sighed.
"Ain't man who gets into this
business a suckerT
The night editor smiled grimly.
wonder what kind OF a joke is this
Nolan anyway" he asked
The night editors brow wrinkled.
"All l know Is that he's a Colorado
miner with hill OF ore an his own"
He glanced over the night editors
schedule. "what is tbs TT golf or
pOllticsY"
Taft both; golf . down conference
with Aldrlch"
McHenry snorted.
"GoSh, the White House Is dead since
Teddy LETT" He pointed 60 the sched,
ule. What's thisg Baltimore, one col
umn'"
Double divorce. They exchanged
partners"
Good people"
"Not much"
"Fifty words n be enough. Dead
beavy-stupid paper" Grunted the man,
aging editor
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1910-02-05
COPYRIGHT. 1903. BY JOSEPH
HEDILL PATTERSON AND
HARRIET FORD.

"Hello. Miss Stowe! Get me Mr.
NOlan--Mr, Michael Nolan--on the wir'
right away"
AS the managing editor hung up the
receiver Moore, the night editor, en-
tered carrying a bundle of galley
proofs in his left hand, schedule in
his right.
"Well, Moore, what have you got for
part 1T asked McHenry
The night editor repeated rapidly in
a dead fat monotonous voice:
"Thirty-fve columns of ads. Tele'
graph editors holering for twenty col
umns. He just got a couple of nice
6ashes-one from Pittsburg about a
man eloping with his daughter-in-law;
very fine people Another first class
murder from St. Louis. Local has
twenty-six scheduled, sports are very
heavy, bowling. fights, checkers, and
Kentucky's shut down on racing; they
want two pages. We've got a tip that
Morgan has the asthma. Steel will
probably open soft on Monday"
Mc1enry took down the telephone
receiver and held it eXpectantly at his
ear He took the proofs from MOore's
hand and began looking them over
They contained important articles
which had been set up, but which he
had not previously seen.
"Hello, there's a live one he sud
denly exclaimed, glancing over one OF
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1910-02-05

the Lansing Iron
company into a
receivership he
queried,
II dunno. Any
ktc ks .on this
mornings story p
"I should say
yes - telephone
going all day"
McHenry turn
ed and pounded
the desk with his
fist.
"If they kicked
on that they'd get
our jobs on this.
He pointed at the
proof of the new
Bartelmy story
W b ic b he had
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1910-02-05

10 understand what he meant by seek
ing out her fathers knowledge of her
present mission. one which was to her
decidedly unpleasant.
Wheeler was plainly impressed, and
unfavorably so, at the girls reply.
"Ohp he calculated disappointedly,
The quickly thinking girl detected
the significant tone of the newspaper
writer's reply and hastened to ex-
plain.
II heard my father say at dinner
that he feared there would be another
attack tomorrow" she said, "and l
hoped through you to prevent its pub
hcation and to make the Advance
apologize for what it said this morn
ing. don't see how your paper dares
to publish such things"
"But, Judith" he answered. I'VE
couldn't dodge a story as big as that.
We had to print it. That's what we're
here for"
But she was still insistent.
ooh, Of course, print the story, but
I mean the insinuation all through.
Why, by using such unfair means
newspapers can bring discredit on any
one. Mr.. McHenry refused to apollo
gize. He wouldn't even tell me who
wrote 1t. Do you known
Brand gave a violent start. At first,
In her present mood, he hardly dared
answer the girl With a determined
effort he pulled himself together and
answered her question.
"Yes, / know who wrote it,"
"Who?" Judith leaned toward him,
gazing intently into his eyes.
81 wrote it," he announced.
Judith started back aghast.
"You, Wheeler? WhyF" she cried
Historically.
II had no choice" He struggled to
maintain his grip on himself.
"You had no choice"
Judith, when this Lansing Iron case
first broke loose" Brand responded
firmly, 81 saw straight off that it was
one of the slickest-well, that there
was a big story in it. l didn't know
your father was involved in this at
first. l just followed the path, and
when ] saw where it was leading me
/ wanted to turn back because of you,
but couldn't" He stopped for a mo-
ment, then went on: "No, no. / could
not stop-not-even-for
"But it isn't loyal of you," was her
response. 'It wasn't like you-to at
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1910-02-05
F?,,t f; F=PEs Ess' s;,.t

In considering making yOur ewR
tight, or cooking, why not cons, y
the f. p. Gas Machine and
Oers Light.
VIII sell and Install this me
and guarantee It to give par
cent more light for the saA.. oOneE
than electricity or city gas. Let me
asure with you, estimates furnished.
Call at my shop and see the MghtS
and stoves in operation.
1 also carry PYRO DENATURWD
ALCOHOL utilities. Safe, soonSmE..
oal, OdOFiess.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1910-02-05

lHE silence in the managing
editors room Of the Daily
Advance was abruptly broken
] by the entrance OF Ross Me.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1910-02-05

(To be Continued
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1910-02-05

In "The Fourth Estate" the
effectiveness of newspapers In
.fsorlessly exposing political
and judicial corruption and the
safeguard they are to the public
are Interestingly and convinc-
fngly set forth. A young, earnest
newspaper writer and editor is
the central figure, and his bat
fEes with dishonest United
States iudge against Dig odds and
against the cunnfnglv under
handed Vaccinations of the law
yer lobbyist Dupuy form one of
the most valuable as we'll as
most entertaining pieces Of fic-
Hon of the day. That the false
Judges daughter, the retgnfng
beauty tn the fashionable life of
a leading city should play a
sensational part Ia this gripping
story of strong honest men and
of strong dishonest men, fight
ing each other in a war of dol
lars, evidences the romantic
possibilities of the narrative.
This Is a story of today's
America, a fact story torn out Of
SJe's book, dealing with the most
VsfGI issues that confront every
one of us. Romance and humor
Vte with stirring action for SUI
preH0cy In this Instructive and
fascinating novel, which teaches
ahGt the path of duty is the path
to love and happiness and that
Ia success, nobly won, lie re-
sV0rds of greater ana more last
iRg value than In a triumph ig-
nObIy and more easily gained.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1910-02-05

McHenry rang for the boy, Durkin,
and on his belated arrival sent him to
summon the city editor. what you
got?" saluted McHenry as the editor
arrived.
Downs, the city editor. went straight
to the point.
"Are you going to use that follow up
story about Judge Bartelmy throwing