Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1910-08-26

Idaho was on the outs.
Idaho" says l. what kind of a
book is yours"
Idaho must have forgot, too, for he
answered moderate, without any sian.
der or malignity.
why" says he, this here seems to
be a volume by Homer X. NJ"
Homer X. NJ. what?" | asks
"Why, just Homer X. NJ" says he.
You're a liar" says l, little riled
that Idaho should try to put me up
tree. NO man is going around signing
books with his initials. If it's Homer
X NJ. Spoopendyke, or Homer X. NJ.
McSweeney. or Homer X. NJ. Jones,
why don't you say so like man in
stead of biting off the end of II like
calf chewing off the tail of a shirt on
clothesline"
81 put 1t to you straight, Sandy"
says Idaho, quiet. Its poem book"
says he, "by Homer X. NJ. l couldn't
get color out of 1t at first. but there's
a vein If you follow it up. / wouldn't
hoNC AIoocu lhlS DoOh iOE pulE VI
red blankets"
You're welcome to It," says |.
What you've got" says Idaho, as
statistics, the lowest grade of informa.
ton that exists. They'll poison your
mind. Give me old *. Ms system of
surmises. He seems to be kind Of q
wine agent. His regular toast is
nothing doing and he seems to have
a crouch, but he keeps 1t so well lubri-
Gated with booze that his worst kicks
sound like an invitation to split
quart. But it's poetry" says Idaho,
''and | have sensations of scorn for
that truck of yours that tries to con-
vey sense in feet and inches"
SO that's the way me and Idaho had
IL. Day and night all the excitement
we got was studying our books. That
snowstorm sure fixed us with fine loi
of attainments apiece.
That spring me and Idaho struck
pay ore 1t was habit of ours to sell
out quick and keep moving. We un-
loaded on our grubstaker for $1,000
| apiece, and then we drifted down to
this little town of Rosa, on the Salmon
river, to rest up and get some human
grub and have our whiskers harvested
Rosa was no mining camp. 1t laid
| in the valley, and was as free of up.
roar and pestilence as one Of them
rural towns in the country. There was
three mile trolley line champing its
| bit in the environs, and me and Idaho
spent a week riding on one of the cars,
| dropping off of nights at the Sunset
| View hotel Being now well read as
well as travelled. we was soon pro re
nata with the best society In Rosa
and was invited out to the most dress
ed up and high toned entertainments.
1t was at a piano recital and quail eat
| ing contest in the city hall, for the ben
eft of the fire company, that me and
Idaho first met Mrs. De Ormond Samp-
son, the queen of Rosa society.
Mrs. Sampson was a widow and own
ed the only two story house In town.
1t was painted yellow. and whichever
way you looked from you could see 1t
| as plain as egg on the chin Of an
| O'Grady on a Friday. twenty-five
men in Rosa besides me and Idaho was
trying to stake a claim on that yellow
| house.
There was a dance after the song
books and quail bones had been raked
| out of the hall. Twenty-three Of the
bunch galloped over to Mrs. Sampson
| and asked for a dance. / sidestepped
| the twostep and asked permission to
| escort her home. That's where made
hit.
On the way home says she:
"Ain't the stars lovely and bright
tonight, Mr. PrattT
"For the chance they've got" says
l, they're humping themselves In
mighty creditable way. That big one
you see is 66,000, 100000 of miles dis
| tant. 1t took thirty-six years for its
| light to reach us. With an eighteen
foot telescope you can see 100000
of 'em, including them Of the thir.
teenth magnitude. which, If one was to
go out now, you would keep on seeing
it for 2,70O years"
"My!" says Mrs. Sampson. 81 never
knew that before. How warm it is!
Pm as damp as l can be from dancing
so much"
That's easy to account for" says l.
when you happen to know that you've
| got 100000 sweat glands working
all at once. If every one Of your
perspiratory ducts. which are quar-
ter of an inch long, was placed end
to end they would reach distance Of
seven miles"
"Lawsy" says Mrs. Sampson. at
sounds like an irrigation ditch you was
describing. Mr.. Pratt. How do you
get all this knowledge Of informa-
tion?"
From observation. Mrs. Sampson"
tells her. II keep my eyes open
when go about the world"
'Mr. Pratt" says she. 81 always
did admire man of education. There
nre so few scholars among the sap
| headed plug uglies of this town that it
Is u real pleasure to converse, with
gentleman of culture. I'd be gratified
to have you call at my house when
ever you feel so inclined"
And that was the way I got the
good will Of the lady in the yellow
! house.
never imagined that Idaho was try
hg to work on Mrs. Sampson with old
X. Ms rules of courtship till one
afternoon when was on my way
over to take her basket of wild hog
plums met the lady coming down
the lane that led to her house Her