The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1910-02-03
A MARK twain STORY
Showing What May Be Achieved
by Nerve and Federation.
A LESSON IN PERSEVERANCE.
Going 70 Prove That Repetition Will
Work Wonders IL . Man Has Only
the Necessary Amount of Cheek to
Stand Up and Keep on Talking.

the Necessary Amount of Cheek to
Stand Up and Keep on Talking.
Mark Twain once told a reporter
that if a man says the same thing Of
ten enough people will begin TO listen
10 him.
Now" said the great humorist,
there was that story about Hank
Monk. That was the oldest. stalest.
drieSt. deadest bit OF alleged humor
that any man ever heard. Ii had been
circulated around Nevada and Cali
fornia until there wasn't a man left
who would even listen TO it had
heard il SO many times that l knew 1t
by heart 1t told how Hank Monk got
grade to Placcrvile.
Il was about TO deliver my second
lecture at Platt's hall in San Fran
Cisco-the second one l had ever de-
livered. 1t occurred to me that
might begin that lecture with the
worst story l had ever heard and by
telling it often enough start the lee
ture with a big laugh. took that
story and memorized II SO that il
would not vary in the telling. and
made 1t just rs pointiess and just as
dun and Just as dry as could.
When ii came time for me to talk
1 stood up and with a few introduc-
tory remarks began that story. II
remember 1t went something like this:
Horace Greeley once went over
the Glennbrook grade to Placerville.
When he was leaving Carson City he
told the driver. Hank Monk. that he
had an engagement TO lecture at
Placerville and was very anxious to
go through quick. Hank Monk crack
ed his whip and started on At an aw-
full pace. The stage bounced up and
down in such a terrific way that 1t
jolted the buttons all on Horace's coat
and finally shot his head clean through
the roof Of the stage. and then he yell
cd to Hank Monk and begged him to
go easicr-said he warn't In n much
Of q hurry rs he had been awhile
ago. But Hank Monk said. Keep
your seat. Horace. and I'll get you
there on time" And he did. too-whae
was left Of him.
''Now. that was all there was to the
story. 1t was bad enough to begin
with, but made II worse In the tell
ing. l droned II out in . flat. monotO-
nous tone. without gesture to mar it,
depressing effect. The people received
man In the audience-I had 'graveled'
them with . story that was not only
stale and pointless. but one which they
had heard At least a thousand times.
/ waited . few seconds for the laugh
ter. and then 1 began to hem and haw
and shift my feet / tried to appear
Just rs embarrassed N I could. and
after floundering about helplessly for
few sentences I cheered up q little and
said that I would tell q funny anec-
dote which might be new to them It
began:
"'Horace Greeley went over the
Glennbrook grade to Placerville'-
II told ii in exactly the same miser-
able. pointless way that I had told It
before. and when I got through wait
ed a longer time for the applause. but
there wasn't any applause. l could see
that several men In the house were
growing quite indignant They had
paid money to hear n humorous lee
ture. took q long breath and plunged
in a third time. more embarrassed ana
fiustered and worried than ever. and
by and by I worked around again to
the time when Horace Greeley went
over Glennbrook grade to Placerville.
This time some OF the smarter ones
began to laugh. and this encouraged
me so much that thanked them and
started right In TO tell the story over
again. never varying the delivery %
much as a pause to take breath The
fourth time fetched EN-. and at the
end OF the story they stood up and
whooped and yelled and cheered for
some time.
You see. I thought that II q man
had sand enough to stand up before an
audience and tell tho Oldest, stalest
and most uninteresting story in the
world he could make people laugh II
he had the nerve to tell the story often
enough The rest Of my lecture went
very well. They were willing to laugh
Mt my anecdotes the first time told
them. Maybe they were afraid would
tell them a second time.
Il felt SO sure that I had discovered
a new phase in human character that
l tried the same thing in New York
years afterward. There was an au-
thors' reading bee one afternoon, and
most OF the authors read selections
from their works. I sat on the plat
form beside James Russell Lowell.
He asked me what I was going to
read. / said that I wasn't going to
read anything. I intended to tell an
anecdote
lis 1t a funny one? he asked
II said it would be IL lasted long
enough.
Il started out without any preamble.
and I told the Hank Monk anecdote-
There was an awful silence at the
end. l took a drink OF water. mopped
my forehead and told the story again
Same effect Young man. I told that
story Eve times before I landed 'em.
When I sat down at last Mr.. Lowell
whispered TO me:
You have cost me dear. I have
been sitting here and wasting sympa.
thy on you
That's the point. young man. Repe-
t.t!on viii do anything II man has
the sand to stand up and keep on taJE-