Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-04-01
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gets in hurry"
never worry or hurry" What
department of the government service
are you in?'-B Buffalo Express.
Miss Prim-I want husband who
Will be easily pleased Miss Crouch
That's the kind you'll get.-Life
Mrs Benham--You have torn my
train Benham-That's all right; your
your train is long enough to be in two
seetions.-Judge.
Howard-Bridget, did my wife come
| in few moments ago? Bridget-No,
sir. That's the parrot you hear a-hol-
lerin' -Harper's Bazaar.
Doctor, how do you account for the
existence of rheumatism? The mind,
my dear, evolved the disease to fit the
word. Chicago Tribune
Which is the harder to write. verse
! OF jokes?" Verse comes easier" re-
piled the press humorist You have
TO have an idea for joke"
Shopman Ito boy who has asked for
a penn'orth of pills. DO you want
them in a box? Boy-Yuss. o course.
Think I'm goin' to roll EN- homer
| Punch.
Were you ever in lover" asked the
sweet young thing No." replied the
bachelor. but you can't mention any
other fashionable disease that l have
not had
Teacher-Jimmy, you look very pale
this morning. Are you i'll? jimmy
/ Nc. ma am. Ma washed my face this
morning herself Womas Home
Companion
Farmer Cat the grindstone) Well.
why don't yer turn? City Nephew
Nix Ye don't fool me agin When
ever I turn. We 80 and bear down with
the aX,--Life
How shall break the news to my
parents that ave failed in my ex,
ans Merely telegraph them: Elk.
animation over Nothing new! -
| Fhegende rlaetser.
There's masked man at the back
door" Horrors Is he after my dia.
| monds?" No, madam. He only wants
to borrow a can of gasoline. Louis
vile Courier Journal.
Why don't you get an automobiles"
Il don't know whether | could manage
one or not" "A poor argument. You
took the same chance, didn't you when
you acquired a wife,
The Poet Poetry should be written
on one side of the paper, shouldn't it.?
| The Edtor-That depends on the
poetry; lots of it shouldn't be written
on either Philadelphia Record
A man ought to be a good mechan.
ic in order to get satisfactory results
from an automobile" Yes, answered
Mr. Chuggins, but it's still better to
be good fnancier Washington
/ Star.
Poets Wife My husband read this
poem at a public celebration before
thousands of people, Alas! 1t was the
last poem he ever wrote. Publisher
Did they lynch him or shoot him?-
Leslie's Weekly.
Ever been locked up?" demanded
counsel. Il have been" admitted the
! witness. Aha, And what had you
been doing to get yourself locked up?"
Il had been doing jury duty. Louis
Vile Courier-JournaI.
Miss Elder-The idea OF his pretend
ing that my hair was gray! Miss Pep
perry - Ridiculous! Miss Elder
Wasn't il, though? Miss Peppery~-
Yes, Just as if you'd buy gray hairI--
Catholic Standard and Times.
The Doctor-Mrs Murphy, you must
be at your husbands side continuous
ly, as you will need to hand him some
thing every little while Mrs, Murphy
Niver, doctor Fur be it from me
to hit man whin he's down. Puck
Il thought / ordered quail" Oats
quail, sub" Quail nothingl That's
chicken" ut was chicken, sub, but
i seed me a-comin'" What has that
80 do with it?" de sight of cullud
pussol always makes chicken quail
subj"
Father Bobby, I'm surprised to see
YOU crying because bee stung you,
Brace up and act like man Bobby
Yves; an then y-you'd gimme a
lickin' Y-you told me w-what you'd
do to me if you e-ever heard me
u-usin that kind Of Language.
How can / tell" asked the Gus
TONER, whether l am getting tender
meat or not?" There's only one sure
way, ma am said the butcher, an
hats by eatin' of it" But ! have to
buy 1t before I can do that" 'Yes'm;
that's the beauty OF the prescription"
Guardian-You say you are going to
marry a man IN order TO reform him.
That is very noble OF you May / ask
who it is? Ward-It's Mr. Ooibyrd.
Guardian-Indeed? l wasn't aware
that he had any bad habits Ward
Yes His friends say that he is be
coming quite misery Sketch.
Little boy" asks the well-meaning
reformer, is that your mamma over