davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-06-13

The summer girl A thing OF beauty
and a Joy for--three months.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-06-13

II must be a remarkable aviation rec
ord that becomes nine-days' wonder
now.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-06-13

Pittsburg ia proud OF its Pirates
hut is mum as to its grafters.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-06-13

Or. Ellot's COW bids fair to become as
famous as Mrs. OLeary's.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-06-13

In home coming week many one
comes homo weak.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-06-13

It is perfectly safe to leave of fan
nels now.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-06-13

Strawberries tell which way the cash
goes.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-06-13

No one can say Know like school
marin.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-06-13

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Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-07-10
Group Of Naval Veterans, with>O Officers Coales- and
Benson IN FOREGROUND -

listed here. As for me personally, ! am
proud that / am a part Of Uncle sam $
navy. and | believe every other man who
wears the uniform IS imbued with the same
patriotic feeling. Then Il naturally follows
that we wish to keep the navy clear OF bad
material"
Getting back to the subject Of putting"
the boy in the navy, IL must be noted here
and now that it is not left either to the
boy or his parents or the pull of his political
friends to do the putting" Uncle Sam
has trusted employees who attend to that.
If the boy is to be put" in the navy these
representatives. of the government do it,
only after they have satisfied themselves
as to the fitness OF the candidate The
rules of entry are rigid 1t is difficult TO
get in, and even more difficult to get out.
for fixture of purpose IS one of the lessons
that Uncle Sam teaches his boys. The cler-
ical preliminaries incident to joining the
navy are much more elaborate than is
generally presumed and a description OF
the applicant is so closely recorded that II
he ever deserts there is but little chance of
escaping detection For identification the
thumb print system is used, and 1t Is
agreed by experts that no two thumb prints
in the entire world are exactly alike. Navy
discipline is strict yet not severe. The
food Is wholesome and the training AL the
way through inclines TO make self-reliant
man out of an awkward shambling boy.
Once a sailor always a sailor is saying
that isn't borne out by the number OF eX-
sailors now I'm Omaha. There is, however
a large percentage of young men who re-
enlist after their first period of service and
in some instances men spend their whole
lives in the navy as enlisted members Of
the crew.
There is an indescrbable something about
the walk OF a man who has had naval
training that marks him as different from
others. and once this graceful sea swing IS
acquired, it remains forever, but OF far
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-07-10

writes with firm touch. When William
Loeb, jr., was bossng the White House dur
ing Roosevelts term he received from Mr..
Blythe letter which he was quite un-
able to read. Loeb took 1t over to the ex-
perts in the patent office, where all hands
passed it Up. Next it was set before the
correspondents in the senate press gallery.
They quit TO a man. Loeb then offered 500
to anybody who could deciphor the epistle,
Sans immediate family and the editor of
the Saturday Evening Post being barred
from the contest. Nothing happened in the
way of a solution. Then the family was
invited to get in, after which the gates
were let down to the editor Of the Saturday
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-07-10
Naval Veterans observe Memorial Day > : :

across the waters should in the course OF
time need classifying. the naval veterans
would come handy as a supplement to the
regular naval forces.
What are these naval veterans doing
in Omaha now? Have, they lost their sea
legs so that they can walk like a land
lubber ought to walk? DO they find con-
tentment away from the rocking motion
of the ship?
These are some of the questions that
naturally come to mind in connection with
these POO ex-sailors who now pilot them
selves through crowded down town streets.
lodging automobiles and other vehicles of
death that defy speed limits and cheaper
human ne
What they are doing now in civil life
would make a story too long for available
space in this log book for their occupations
are varied. Some of them have made
records in the commercial world Others,
more inclined to the happy-go-lucky side
of life, are content to plod along with
daily wage coming due at weeks end.
AS to contentment on terra firma, the
answer Is mixed-some are contented.
others are not. But one fact does stand
well established, and that is that every
member Of. the veteran organization. no
matter how firmly he may be anchored
in Omaha, finds keen delight in living
over again his seagoing days, and meet
ings of the veterans are always well at
tended
The estimated 200 former seamen does not
include it must be remembered, the ordi-
nary sailor. Only men who were once en-
listed In Uncle Sans navy are taken into
account by the estimate herein given. If
seamen of all classes were counted. the
total would undoubtedly be materially in
creased
1t is generally supposed by those who
have not properly informed themselves that
getting into the navy is easy. When a bad
boy becomes so incorrgible that home re-
straint is no longer effective, the chances
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-07-10

as one whose typewriting is worse than his
penmanship. The machine he uses had its
genesis in Buffalo seventeen years ago
when he was learning to pot sman game
on the Buffalo Express. No living man has
ever solved his method of producing copy,
but from a page of his manuscript It is
safe TO conclude that nc adjusts a sheet
Of foolscap in his typewriter, climbs to a
position on the top of his desk. and then
falls on the machine.
His office is in the Home Life building,
not far from the treasury. but he can be
heard writing as far away as the insane
asylum across the Potomac There is moth
ing mpressionistic about his copy. He
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-07-10

more practical value than.this graceful walk
is the habit Of method which is inStilled.
There is certain time to arrive in
the morning, a certain time to eat.
certain time to go to bed-a
certain time for everything, and every
thing must he done in time. Thus
shipshod habits so common among land
lubbers are broken and the ex-navy man.
when he retires from the sea and goes
back to business life. has valuable asset
in the training he has taken on. More
over the average attache, no matter tf he
be a mere private, acquires knowledge
of the world, both from reading and travel
which he probably would never acquire in
any other way.
In the half-tone photographs of Omaha
naval veterans; which are herewith repro
duced IL will be observed that although
these men are not now In the navy they
are CARRIED in sea toggery. Fact is, when
they quit the navy they carried their
rainent with them, for Uncle Sam classes
it az the personal property OF the Wearer.
AS a general rule the clothing Is kept as
souvenirs Of sea-soing days, thus when
Omaha naval veterans were called out on
parade last Decoration day, they founa
it easy to again take on navy uniforms.
The word veteran" is usually supposed
to suggest age but that definition Is er"
roneous in this instance, for many Of the
naval veterans-Aa majority, in fact-are
yourg men who went to sea as boys ana
retired to civil life in their early twenties.
So. even though Omaha is an inland city,
the corn crib OF the nation, a live stock
market OF international Importance, q place
where there is more plows and cultivators
sold than any other section of the world
yes i'm spite OF all that goes to make
Omaha the entrepot of the landlubber,
there is none the less a cosmopolitan side,
ana the chances are that in any large
crowd a ship ahoy" will bring back at
least one AYE, aye, Sir"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-07-10

Evening Post. The mystery remained a
mystery still Eureka, Ask Sam TO read II!
Sam tried. Don't laugh 1t was placed on
exhibition in the Write House. WI Ting
fang declared 1t to be fragment from the
odes of a Chinese poet who lived prior to
There to Hold tao Crowd.
Seven kings rode each gorgeously uni
formed in the procession in honor of the
late King Edward, reports Golfers
ConfuIius. %
Weekly. Ex-President Roosevelt in even
ing dress and a panied expression, was
shut into a closed landau back OF all the
kings and princelets and such. Seth Bui-
lock didn't Ike this u Bit but he could
explain it satisfactorily.
Il remember" said he. bringing a
bunch OF cowboys to Roosevelts inaue-
uration. When l got the program saw
We were way back in the proeesh-only tue
Harvard students and some southern re-
publican marching clubs behind us.
knew the boys would kick because rhey
weren't up with the band. so mixed
around to the White house. You know
how Il. r. guesses what's in your mind
before you have chance TO open your
head? Well he spoke right up: I know
what you're here for, Seth. But don't you
make any KICK ABOUT your PidS" J." ~
parade It was arranged for a purpose
Everybody is Ia Washington to see those
cowboys. II you were well up in front
the people wouldn't stay TO see the rest
Of the procession. You and the bunch
are put where you are to hold the crowd
That's my explanation OF this business
here" continued Captain Bullock. They
put r. H. back Of Chnk and before the
Girls Of the Bedchamber-at the tail or
the procession-Jus to hold the crowd"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-07-10
Nothinr in a Nnme.

did you ever hear the story about the
Irishman who was caught in a crap game
raid with some Chinesey' said Captain
Carroll OF the Newark IN j. detective bu-
reau. 1T happened not so very long ago
In the First precinct.
The plain clothes men had been sent out
to investigate n crap game somewhere In
Market street. They brought in five chi
nese and Mike Kelley. an Irshman. OF
course they We're ali lined up in court the
next morning in front OF roomful Of
spectators.
What's your manner asked the judge Of
the first of the prisoners.
One Lung said The man,
One Lung, you're fined $40. And your
name?'
'Ong Eco.
The other three gave their names as
sins 10. Wan He and Foo Gee. Each was
fired sic, Tren It Dane the Irishmsn'5 trrA
lie d.d nos wait but stepped up to tae
desk
Your namcg
ga, IT,! Here's your $40 Never mind
the name Newark star.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-07-10

are nine out of ten that the ne'ghbor
across the alley whispers to the neighbor
across the next alley. that Mrs. Soandso's
boy ought to be put in the navy. Here in
Omaha not long ago boy was tried and
acquitted of crime although there seemed
10 be preponderance of evidence against
him. Despite the fact that he was ac-
quilted, and admitting his innocence of the
specific charge upon which he was tried,
the evidence established beyond doubt that
he is what the world at large catalogues as
young tough"
Friends and relatives trembled at the
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-07-10

somewhere In the throng a CHEEKY AYE, aye,
SIR" and that too, in city as remote from
salt water as IT is possible to find remote
ness within United States boundary lines.
IL was merely an exchange of hailing sig
mails between two ex-sallors now anchored
In Omaha little incident common enough
which brings the fact out that although
Omaha Is far inland as to location It's cos
mopolitan texture Includes a touch Of the
nautical no; ordinarily found I'm cities of
the Omaha lass.
Take a map of the United States, place q
tack on Omaha, then measure the distance
from that tack TO the nearest point on the
Gulf OF Mexico, the Atlantic and the Pa
cifc oceans and you will find that Omaha
is just about as far from salt water as It
is possible to get, on the North American
continent.
And yet. despite Omaha's remoteness
from shipyards and ship channels, there Is
n large representation OF sea-going men
hereabouts. which fact gives supplemental
attest to Omahas claim OF cosmopolitan
ism. Recruiting officer William r. Coates
of the United states naval recruiting sta
ton, headquarters In the federal building,
this city, estimates that at least 200 ex-navy
men are now living in Omaha. or these.
sixty have Joined an organization known as
the Naval Veterans, which has been or
ganized recently in Omaha by officer
Coates and his associate. Officer Benson.
Many others have signified their intention
OF Joining and Messrs Coates and Benson
hope eventually to bring every ex-navy
man in town into the association. Just nov
there is no apparent practical side of the
naval veterans organization, but the old
adage I'm time Of peace prepare for war"
is ever the slogan OF Uncle sam, and in
the event that some troublesome nation
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-07-10


Booth Harrington told Me other day the
story OF Joke that fell flat. In one OF
his successful plays the American hero is
discovered IN talk with an Englishman.
To- whom he * giving a veraciods descrlp-
tion OF Indiana.
And what-haw-is your big game in
Indiana" asks the Engllshmau.
"Pawpaws." said the American, smile
lessly. You ought TO see our pawpaw
preserves"
Wen that gets a big laugh from the
average american audience, although II
rs rot being used in New York, where
the typical American still takes off his
hat when no sees a policeman, and dances
ON q at the name OF the car. But In
the original form that joke had a skeleton
OF fact reinforcing g. Jim" Stutesman-
I'm not absolutely cure Of the spelling OF
that name-but anyhow, Jim Statesman
was a politician OF Peru, Ind. Visiting
Harrington IN Paris on one occasion, he
encountered haw-haw Englishman Of the
type the author made Use OF IN his play.
Statesman told the Englishmau that he
came from Peru. Ind "Haw-ya' as, Peru,
said that individual blsndly Down In
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-07-10
Ingalls, EnJoyea This one.

The late John j. ingalls,, Unl,ed states
senator from Kansas. once told with great
glee the story of joke at his own expense.
the humor of which. however he enjoyed
as keenly IS IL he had not been the VIC
tin. of T..
IL went one evening" said Mr.. ingalls,,
ito make political speech in a small
town. l presume the people thought 1
would have difficulty in filling an hour; at
any rate, they called upon the village choir
to ASSIST.
Il trust that the hymns were selected
before my arrival. but OF that cannot
be sure l know that before the talk the
choir sang What Shall the Harvest Beg
and after it, Nothing But Leaves -
Youths Companion.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-07-10

the Kitchen said Mrs Casey.
Il have Z smile when | hear We COM
ploinin' about the heat. for as a matther
iv fact ye don't know what heat is" said
Casey.
oh, don't ! now?' said Mrs Casey.
Sure. ia change places wild you amy day,
for while I'm workin' over hot COOK
stove all day I'm thinkin' iv tn fine pic
mic you're havin workin' down there in
thot nice cool ewer."-Macks National
Monthly.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-07-10

t.oning ne not to sive an important pro-
vencal ase. cy to an easy-going man of the
world. was this:
Beware II the easy-going man. An
easy oing man, you know, is one who
makes the path OF life very rough and diff
f'cult for somebody else, Detroit Free
Press
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-07-10

The contradictions Of lie are many. An
oSservant nam remarked recently that ee
WAS trowiins about certain city square
when he came upon a drinking fountain
which bore two conflicting inscriptions.
one, the original inscription on the foun-
tain, WAS from tha Bible: And whose
ever win let him take the water OF life
freely"
Above this hung a plscard PLEASE do
not waste the water"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-07-10

mothers the advantages their sons are to
derive from navy service, it would hardly
be consistent for us to admit youths for
the sole reason that they are too tough to
keep out of the penitentiary If allowed to
remain on land.
The standard of the navy is on the up
lift rather than otherwise, and each year
sees marked improvement in the character
of recruits. 1t has never been my pleasure
to witness finer aggregation of bright
young fellows than the ones we h.ve en-
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-07-10
E Benson -WTCoakes S oEFTeERS

thought Of responsibility incident to the
boys release. OF course they were in u
way glad of his acquittal, yet they had
dire forebodngs as to what the future held
for the lad, whereat the family lawyer
:ushed to the rescue with the suggestion
that the young man be put in the navy.
Thereupon the local representatives of
the navy battered down their matches" and
In figurative sense turned d thirteen-inch
gun upon the prospective candidate for
naval honors.
Just because a boys in dlsrepute on
land is no reason why he is fit subject
for the navy" said officer Coates, "and 1t
should be remembered that the navy is
not a reformatory The standard of moral
ity in the navy and the integrity of sea-
going people in general fully as high as
among landsmen. OF course in days gone
by, there was such thing as pirate craft
and we could hardly expect a high code OF
morals from pirates, but time has eliminated
tho pirate kind on sea-in fact most Of
the pirates in existence nowadays are land
pirates and the navy does not invite any
but clean, high minded young men. Sons
of some of the best families in Nebraska
have Joined the navy through recruit
ing office, and after i have told these
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-07-10

Sam Blythe's Wierd "CcDy."
One has often heard of famous examples
of noted genluses whose handwriting has
been as enigmatic as a rebus, but 1t has
remained for Samuel G. Blythe. the we'll
known political correspondent at Washing
ton, to establish similar reputation for
typewriting. Apart from his achievements
in literature, relates the American Maya
zine. Blythe is famed throughout the land
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-07-10

Well, what did you do?" asked an i'm
patient listener.
"Do?" said the old fellow sleepily. We'll,
reckon l did a mile in three minutes"'-
ST Paul Dispatch.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-07-10
niormnon,. ~ anal winaom.

"Bjorns,jerne Bjornson. In his hotel 'front.'
ing ths ruilieries gardens. received a tew
friends up to the last In Paris said the
continental agent OF typewriter firm.
II had the honor TO be among those
friends and mover wearled OF the great
Norseman's wit and wisdom.
The last thing he said 20 me. IN eau
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-07-10
summertime Jobs.

WAS a hot evening following
a regular old scorcher OF day
and Casey and the family were
sitting out on the front porch
trying TO keep cool.
',Sure 4 Nas an awful daV In
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-07-10
Going some.

a guest In a Cincinnati hotel was shot
and killed The negro porter VINO heard the
shooting was witness al the trial
How many shots did you hear?" asked
the lawyer.
Two shots sab" he replied.
Bout like dis way" explained the negro
clapping his hands with an interval Of
about a second between them.
Where we're you when the first shot
was flred?'
"shinin a gemmai's shoe in de basement
Of de hotel
Where were you when the second shot
was fired?
"Ah was a-passin' de Big FO' dspot'-
Literary Digest.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-07-10
@SaM@

ZIP ahoy." exclaimed a stalwart
hearty" as he swung gracefully
through the densely packed 6
O'Clock crowds at sixteenth and
Farnam, whereat there anne
hack by WaY of ansWer frnrn
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-07-10
Left Behind.

The late John q. a. Ward. the noted
sculptor, was in his youth famous rider.
At the Century club in New York brother
sculptor said the other day:
Ward once undertook to teach Blank,
the etcher. to ride Blank was game. and
Ward the first week had him taking low
fences.
Then Blanks conceit got the better Of
him and he went at high, dangerous
jump, OF course he was shot out OF tho
saddle. lie somersaultcd over the fence
and landed in the next field on his head.
Ward, hurrying up, said, 90 Suptth
Blanks feelings:
splendid jump old man, oone just tie
way / do Il myself Only
Here Ward smiled.
- 'oniy, you know. always manage to
take the horse over with me New York
Times.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1910-07-10

What the Ola Veteran Dlt.
The old Veteyan had paused in his rem
iniscence and was hopping mis- brow whilo
his audience waited impetien... thinking
ne had left off
Il reeoileet,t he continued dreaming,
that at the bottle Of Alma / had a very
exciun' time. bullets were uelttn' upaa
US like rain. men feu right and ;eSs. esaaag.
roared like thunder itself, and. cLy4Q u
all the enemy had managed to get within a
hundred yards CT our position. ! was mad
with excitement and wasn't thinkin' OF any
thing except just fightin' for all 1 was
worth. An Of sudden turned and found
that my resiment had changed it's position
and I was cut off-left to the mercy OF the
enemy. sir"
the most exciting part; he finds IL AMUSING