davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1910-09-27

WANTED-TO.. BUY, A HARD
coal base burner in good condition. Ad-
dress x Y Z-by correspondence, care
Missourian. z
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1910-09-27

- WANTED - -FOUR CANVASSERS,
experienced preferred but not neces-
sary. Steady work or odd hours.
One student made $40 per week last
Year. Hill, room 2, 911A Broadway.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1910-09-27

FOR RENT-THE CENTRAL no.
tel on Broadway. either furnished or
unfurnished. Apply to J. "A. Stewart
or ]. M. Batterton.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1910-09-27

FOR sALEICHAIRS, DRESSERS,
rockers, dining room table. kitchen
cabinet and several other household
goods. Apply at Pacific Express Of
fee or phone 544-Black.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1910-09-27

FOR RENT-12 room, modern
house, steam heat and close in. $40.
Eight room house, one block Of Cam
pus; row; you will be the first oocu-
pant and I'll make the rent right.
FOR SALEIAlmost new 4 room
house and good big lot on Ann ST.
$3.50.
ALBA T. FOUNTAIN REAL ES-
TATE AND INSURANCE,
911A Broadway. -
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1910-09-27

FOR RENT-MODERN 10-ROOM
house with barn and 3 acres of land
on West Broadway, beautiful home
but few like to rent.
New Broom house with large bath
room-modern except heat-on paved
street.
7-room house, modern-one block
from campus. See
MCDONNELL BROS.
NOVEL; Bldg.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1910-09-27
.UNEQUALED
Says Expert who has Just Inspected and Tested Every Telephone
Columbia System.

Mr. White neexper who travels all installing and
Vest dedatAd
following
/ COLONELJ A. HUDSON, Manager. a.
COMPANY,
Columbi. Missouri
Columbia aedpKh
yowe
tie subscribers standpoint Your
equkd by
sndkaed and cable There little bh
telephone 1.-THE cable perfect
subscribers Kh local long distance telephone
equkd By anything the
49, sta.i (SgndDT
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1910-09-27

Let Alba T. Fountain INSURE
your property. =.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1910-09-27

Rent Your Rooms.-n you have any
rooms for rent, advertise them in the
Aissourian. II you want to rent rooms
and can not find suitable ones. adyeri
tise in the Missourian. & II. y0n want
boarders, q Missourian want Ad. will
get them. 9 = ~, :
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1910-09-27

FOR RENT-A NICELY FURNISH
ed modern room at 40 Missouri Av-
enas.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1910-09-27

2sFuRNIsHED ROOMS Foo RENT
close to University. Apply Batterton
& Belcher. Phone 725.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1910-09-27

WANTED-A UNIVERSITY STU
dent desires to wait on table for board.
Address 81" care of Missourian.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1910-09-27

M. White Columbia qud. but also the
anything Columbia
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1910-09-27

TYPEWRITERs-FOR SALE OR
rent Reasonable terms. w. ]. Nc.
Raven. care of Gordon Hotel.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1910-09-27

TYPEWRITERS-NEW AND PER
feet machines. Underwood $50 L. c.
Smith. No. 2, $55, Oliver $50. Small
cash payment. Five days trial. F. w.
Cooke, 71S Maryland Place. Phone 4O3.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1910-09-27

FOR RENT-A SEVEN ROOM COT
taee located at lo4 South Williams.
Will rent this property at a bargain.
Call at 705 South Fifth.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1910-09-27

FOR RENT-TWO FRONT OF,
fees in Exchange National Bank.
Building. .zs. azF.ae
]. A STEWART,
Room 1o5 Exchange Bank Bldg.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1910-09-27

FOR RENT-THIRTEEN ROOM
house, all modern, in ideal location ad-
Joining University campus. Apply Ira
T. q. Stone, Central Bank.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1910-09-27

FOR RENT-TWO FRONT ROOMS
for. ladies or professors at I'LL sLo-
Gust.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1910-09-27

A STUDENT DESIRES A PLACE
to work for his board. Phone 967.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1910-09-27

FOR RENT-sPLENDID NEW z
room modern brick house. Never
been occupied. Large lot. Only $50
per. month. J. A, Stewart, Elk. Nat.
Bank Bldg.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-23
LAYHAWKER JOTS

The sale of Temperance beer" has
been knocked out at Newton by a court
decision.
A Cawker City man lost his watch.
He advertised for it in % different news
papers and found 1t at Stockton
Newton is looking forward to an ex
odus of horse thieves. The anti-society
will hold a big picnic September %.
The Anti-Horse Thief association at
Coffeyville has been forced to extend
it's activities along other lines. Some
body has been looting the residences of
it's members.
That big pile of ties which the
Union Pacific has stacked up at Sa-
lima has created excitement in nearly
every town in southern Kansas, each
being firm in the belief that line to
the gulf is coming its way.
It is evident that the Hutchinson
News has another guess coming when
it says: 1.-THE state fair experience of
this year confirmed what everybody al
ready knew, that Hutchinson is the
logical place for the state fair and al
ready has it,
The Jewell County Republican tells
of a farmer who went over to a
While there he saw a big fire at his
home. He ran home through corn
field. knocking down two rows at a
time. When he came near the house
he saw a big crowd in the yard, WhOm
he supposed had come to help put out
the fire. But it proved to be a surprise
party. All the neighbors had gathered
| in to celebrate his birthday with a
bonfire and big supper on the lawn
The Belleville Telescope has been
| handed a copy of a sale bill that was
posted in Missouri 62 years ago. It
reads as follows: ITO Whom 1t May
Concern: The undersigned will Tues
day, September 2S, A. D., 1848, sell at
public cutlery, for cash. on premises,
where Coon creek crosses on the Mis-
souri, road, the following chattles, to-
wit: Six yoke of oxen with yoke and
| chain, two wagons with beds, four
buck niggers, two Niger wenches,
three niger boys, five prairie plows,
25 steel traps, one barrel picked cab
bage one hogshead of tobacco, one lot
of niger hoes, one spinning wheel,
loom, three fox hounds, a lot of coon.
mink and skunk skins, and a lot of
other articles. Am going to California.
Free head cheese, apples and hard ci-
/ der"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-23

forms of legal procedure as shall can
eel the advantage that money COM
mands in the delays and complications
of litigation.
The president is therefore on his
own well won ground in pressing for
workman's compensation act.
Such an act. conceived in the spirit
of well-tried European legislation on
the subject, and applied in the first in
stance to interstate railroads, will, ac-
cording to the presidents hope and
plan, furnish a legal model which will
In due time propagate itself through
the whole field of federal jurisdiction
and be initiated in the legislature of
the state.
Three measures for the protection
of workmen-an of great Importance
were secured from the last session of
congress by steady and conscientious
pressure from the White House, towit:
The act establishing the new bureau
of mines, an act enabling an injured
employee of an interstate commerce
concern to sue in the local courts as
well as at the place of the home Office,
and an act giving the commerce COM
mission new powers to require the
adoption of safety appliances.
The bureau of mines extends to an
litical principle has already ex-
pressed itself on a grand scale in the
department of agriculture
Against all class legislation the presi-
dent has set his face with firm and
consistent resolution.
But he stands with all true expo
nents of the law of modern industrial
society in the contention that social
measures to save life and increase the
efficiency of labor are of the very
genius of the modern state. and are
not class legislation.
The lawyers of the eighteenth cen
fury conceived of government as a
thing aloof and apart from commerce
and industry.
But all sound modern constitution
alists understand that a free govern
ment must concern itself with the or
dering and correlating of the working
forces of the nation.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-23
MutiIation of the Barber Poles

Slicing off the porticoes of Fifth
avenue buildings to conform to the
stoop-line was one thing, but to cut
down all the barber poles in New
York to the length of feet fixed by
alderman1c ordinance would involve
a dissertation of the emblem of an an
Client craft against which its followers
naturally protest. The demand of the
East side boss BARRIERS for pole at
least feet long, seems reasonable in
the interest of a square deal. To cur
tail the striped symbol of the tonsorial
art while permitting merchants sign
boards to grow larger and more lum-
nous with gilt lettering, and allow
ing whisky and mineral water manu-
facturers to flash advertisements of
their wares from the housetops, is OBJ
viously discrimination.
But, if S-foot barber poles, why not
poles 20 feet long to serve as objects
of equal utility and beauty? At a time
when colonnades are used for the
Identification of the city, rows of tall
barber poles respondent by day and
at night flashing alternately red and
white like coast lights would add to
the variegation of Broadway.
The occasion would seem a fitting
one for some society for the preserVa-
ton of trade signs to come to the aid
OF the BARRIERS. The cigar store In
dian, now almost extinct, should be
resuscitated and reintroduced in hero
~ PIoporlloHS' ana the oruSglStS
mortar and pestle restored. OF the
various symbols of the kind which
once contributed to the trade adorn-
ment of cities only the pawnbrokers'
gilded emblem remains in any num-
bers.
A board of aldermen serving I'M
der mayor who has revived the
study of the classics, should recall the
row raised in Athens by the mutila-
ton of the Hermes statues and avert
the projection of a new and serious
issue into politics-NeW York World
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-23
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[From the Atchison Globe. ]

tFrom the Atchison Globe.1
A man can be perfectly natural and
not very satisfactory
Unless you own an automobile, down
hill is as bad as up hill.
If you get rich, you must do it in
spite Of high taxes and hard times.
There's one good thing about an
automobile: it can oUtrun the dust.
A sympathetic person gets a lot of
credit for generosity he doesn't de-
serve.
If, when we go to heaven, we find
a buggy taht doesn't rattle, we shall be
satisfied.
dog that is pampered so much that it
has fits like cat.
Out in Arizona if a man asks you
to take a cigar or a drink, and you
refuse. he shoots you.
When the wife talks bass. and the
husband talks tenor, we know who's
foreman in that house all right.
Don't tell a good story, even though
you know one; its narration will sim
ply remind your hearer of a bad one.
There is a tendency to shelve the
mother-in-law joke. We nominate the
prohibition joke for place beside it.
We can always get an item of Jake
Davis, but Jake Davis items are like
the outrages of the Insurgents you
can't depend on them.
About the only difference between
investing twenty-five dollars in a meer-
schaum pipe and sinking a similar
sum in a willow plume is that smoking
hurts you
I'm feeling pretty good today, as a
result of taking care of MYSELF" said
a dyspeptic today, but I've ordered a
dinenr sent up for this evening that
will fix me again."
An Atchison woman is young and
/ a
| husband, but she is Very Unhappy
not get a hired girl.
ANY mother could gain distinction
| by assertin that her children inherited
| their good traits from the fathers side
of the house, but mighty few women
care that much for fame.
In conducting the band at the Horse
| Show tonight, we hope AIois Phillip
| won't neglect to wear his medals. Any
man who conducts. and doesn't play
should wear his medals.
H'I am never particularly shocked
when I hear that my friends criticise
me; 1 learned a long time ago thai
| friends do that sort of thing. It shock
| ed me, but I learned it."-Parsor
Irvine.
We are so tired of the Noble Rec
Man. In magazines. plays and moving
\ picetures, we are always meeting witt
| Noble Red Men and braves on tbs
| warpath, although there hasn't beer
an Indian on the warpath in many
many years, and there never was {
1 Noble Red Man.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-23

John told me. He also told ms tass
reason for your breaking up-and Tow
now loyal he was to me.
I am a foolish old woman, my dear,
and am responsible for all your trou-
oles. I shouldn't have held him to
that silly promise. Now I shall explain
all and in very few words ask your
forgiveness-and his
John Stilwel is my own son by my
hrst marriage, and he is so large and
old looking, and-and I am so wick
edly ashamed of my age that 1 just
couldn't bear to have him tell the
world-your own little world here in
Marchville-ny age. IL asked him
to keep it from all of you that 1 was
his mother"
There was a pathetic twist in the
eyes of Dorothy Moreland as she fin
ished her confession. Lost youth
she half whispered. How vain to pur-
sue it!''
But Georgia Mainon, with her arms
around the other woman's neck, didn't
hear this. She was crying happily
CCopyrighted 1910 by Associated Lit
erary PresS.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-23

OF its passage, rather than for the ben
eft of the many. Our foolish policy
Of allowing the great natural resources
of the country, especially the energy
producing resources-coal. oil, natural
gas and waterpower-to fall into the
control Of a few persons. constituted
Mr.. Heney's chief indictment against
the present order of things. Congress-
he pointed out, has been remiss in its
duty in the face of repeated warnings.
The timber and stone act, under which
such large proportion of our re-
sources have come into the control OF
speculative promoters, was passed in
1878. Every annual report of the sec
rotary Of the interior after its passage
recommended the repeal OF modifica-
ton Of that act, on the ground that it
tended to produce waste and monopoly
control
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-23
QUAKER NIEDITATIONs.

[From the Philadelphia Record
Revenge is sweet, but so is a sugar
coated pill.
1t doesn't take Fights quarts of wine
to make a peck of trouble.
Time is money, but it often hangs
more heavily on our hands.
A girl of Is is generally so busy gig
Cling that she hasn't time to do any
thing else.
The marrying clergyman demon
strates that it really takes three to
make pair.
The fellow who is always making an
exhibition of himself finds it no trou-
BILE to show goods.
Judging from some of his mistakes,
Cupid might just as well be armed
with a pea shooter.
A woman seldom falls in love with
a man unless she feels that he needs a
little reforming.
The advice of the Cynical Bachelor
is, eat, drink and be merry, for tomor-
row you may be married.
Almost any servant girl can be de-
pended upon to increase the number
of pieces in an expensive dinner set.
They say a cat has nine lives" re-
marked the Wise Guy. 'tAnd occasion
ally a kitten added the Simple Mug.
HoaE'Did you ever see a man.
eating shark ?" Joax-"No, but I've
seen a man eating almost every other
kind of fish,
Harduppe-sI'm sorry I borrowed
that IS from you last night Easy
mark-"Oh, that's all right. Why
should you be sorry?' Harduppe-
I'm sorry never struck you before
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-23
Two Suitors Get Iicenses.

Miss Isabelle Conroy is facing the
most serious problems of her career,
inasmuch as both Edward Billings and
Arthur Dennis are carrying marriage
licenses, on each of which is inscribed
her name. Both have shown the IL
censes to Miss Conroy but she has not
yet announced her intentions, telling
both suitors she is going to consult a
lawyer and act upon his advice.
Miss Conroy admits that she cares a
whole lot for both young men, but says
her affections for them are equally di-
vided. She intimates that she would
make no objection to marrying one of
them, but says she does not think it
would be proper to take both
81 like both the boys and they came
their visits so that they would not
meet" Miss Conroy said She added
that she thought one of them would
propose, hut says she had no idea that
both would rush off and get marriage
licenses without consulting her. Bill
ings declares that he has courted Miss
Conroy for six months and took it for
granted that he was the only one.
why, the night before I got the IL
cense," he said today, 1--WE talked as
though everything was arranged; she
kissed me and told me that she did
not care if I did not have big in
come"
Dennis also admits that he never
asked Miss Conroy to be his wife. but
he AYERS, 81 was so sure of her that
after taking out the marriage license
in regular form I engaged 4 minister
and paid !lim his fee in advance"
The first time the Suitors met at the
Conroy house was when they went to
present Miss Conroy with their respec-
tive marriage licenses She tainted
when both exhibited the documents
Philadelphia Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-23
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
IRON the Chicago News. l


A merciful man is mercifuI to his
chauffeur.
One way to retain your friends is by
not using them.
The man who worships the dollar
sign is apt to be crooked.
Or a friend indeed may be one who
minds his own business.
Better the sure thing of today than
the uncertainty of tomorrow
When man says Everybody says
SO" it means that he said so.
A man who doesn't know what he is
talking about always loves to argue.
It's easier to talk about the straight
and narrow path than it is to walk
in it.
Fortunately for both halves of the
world, neither half knows how the
other half lives.
But the pure food laws do not mako
any provisions for love that is adulter-
ated with filthy lucre.
An Ohio man aged 20 married a girl
aged 20 and decided her 500 acres OF
land Then she had plenty of grounds
for divorce
a Kansas woman wants a divorce be-
cause her husband throws bricks At
her. No man has a right to throw
anything at his wife but bouquets and
hot air.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-23
Musical Baths,

1t is almost impossible to dine in any
restaurant, take tea in any hotel, or
talk over a book in any cafe without
being prosecuted by a sham Tsigan
band. Soon the Partisan will not even
be able to have his bath in peace.
When he has no bathroom at home.
which frequently happens, he goes out
to one of the many hot and medicated
bath establishments ali over the town.
The proprietor of one of these, in the
heart of the city, has had an alarming
ly brilliant idea which he is carrying
out and which will be initiated. He IS
placing an orchestra in the middle of
his establishment, and soothing or in
MIGRATING tunes from an invisible band
will penetrate into all the cabins. Pro-
badly the scheme will be developed, and
musical medication will be- combined
with bran or sulphur baths. An extra
fee will insure various tunes being play
ed, which, according to experts who
have observed their effects act either
as sedatives or as tonics to the nerves.
Paris correspondence, of the London
TeleRranh
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-23
ONE DUTY THAT WAS REDUCED

The New York World, according to
its own statement, observing in a Ber-
lin trade paper, the "Farben-Zeitung,"
an advertisement Of American white
lead with which the advertising con-
Germ declared it was liable to compete
in the open market" cabIed to Ham
burg for quotations there ION whole
sale quantities of the lead trusts pro-
duct" 1t states that while the price
of white lead in New York in large
quantities was &c cents a pound, in
Hamburg 1.-The same American white
lead was offered in similar quantities
at 3 II cents per pound, C. i. f., that is,
cost. insurance and freight paid" This
would make the net price to the seller
about 8 cents or one-half the domes-
tic price.
Attention is called to the fact that
the National Lead company, or the
Lead Trust is a constituent or sub
sidiary of the American Smelling COM
pany, which has a representative in
the United States congress in the per-
son of the senior senator from Colo
RADIO When the tariff bill was under
consideration in the senate last year
and it was proposed to revise the duty
on white lead downward, Senator Gug-
genheim took 'his stand on Il cents a
pound as the lowest it would bear.
He said. if correctly quoted. eff it
were not for the duty, the foreign lead
which would compete with US in this
country would come from the mines
in Spain where it is mined on a very
cheap basis" 1t was therefore very
important" he said "to see that a
duty is imposed on white lead to keep
out the cheap Spanish lead and the
! Australian lead"
The duty, which had been u cents
a pound, was fixed at Il cents. If the
Worlds statements are accurate, the
American white lead is sold in Ger
many at a price below that in the
home market by just the amount of
the duty after payment of insurance
and freight by the American seller
which is assumed to be the Lead
Trust under the control of the Gug-
genheims Smelling Trust" This is
because there is also a German duty
| of about II cent a pound. There ii
is presumably competing with the
product of the Spanish and Australian
mines, though it was very important
that the latter should not be allowed
to compete with US in this country
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-23
FROM UNEXPECTED QUARTER.

Whatever may be thought of Will
liam r. Hearst, he is a power to be reck-
oned with in American politics, con-
trolling as he does newspapers of wide
circulation in five of the big cities of
the country, His condemnation or
approval of a man, therefore, is neces-
sarily widely read. Mr.. Hearst has al
ways been regarded as a Democrat, at
any rate he is not Republican. Hence
what he says of President Taft may
fairly be credited to a desire to confer
honor where honor is due. In a re-
cent issue of his New York American
he says editorially:
From Beverly comes the news that
the president will insist anew in his
message to the coming session of con-
gress that workmen injured in the en-
ploy of interstate railroads shall have
compensation without litigation.
No man in this country has cham
pioned more forcibly than Mr.. Taft
, the principle that the poor must be put
on the level with the rich in courts of
justice.
He has constantly urged such re-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-23
THE CIVIC

High on the cliff he stands and wears
A frozen look-half smile, half frown-
AT every foolish wave that tears
His own proud souls foundation down
Prone in the shady vale he lies
And mocks the music of the lark;
His arbor blackens out the skies,
And silence mocks him in the dark.
The watershed of life and death
He sees from far a desert plain,
But when the dark wing hovereth
He fain would measure life again.
More than the curling of d lip
The universe can never be.
The match burns at his finger tip;
Behold man, like you and me.
London Daily News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-23

Down in Dalton, Ga, Mr. and Mrs.
w. F. Smith were quietly married re-
Gently. AS they left the minister's
house they were surrounded by 200 &C
quaintances, who seized them. The
bride was thrown into a wheelbarrow,
the bridegroom was mounted on a rail.
and to the music of cowbells and tin
pans the procession passed through the
principal streets. All of which indi-
Gates that the gun toting habit has be-
come obsolete in Georgia, else there
would have been a case of justifiab1e
homicide.