davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-08-07

him when ne leaves Washington. 1t may
be at Beverly, and ii may be on a
launch off the coast Of Maine. 1t was
at Panama once during Roosevelts adj
ministration, and it was on American
bottom on all points between Panama and
Washington. 1t is always under the hat
Of the President There is no assistant
President as long as the President is
alive. But there are assistant secretaries
of the departments and these have all
the powers of their chiefs. The sigma
ture of one of these is just as binding
as that of one OF the heads of the de-
partmentS.
The President IS. therefore. holding the
job and officially at the helm wherever
his vacation may be taking him. But
not so the cabinet men. Nine live young
men are today uansacting the affairs
of as many great departments in Wash
ing Not a cabinet officer is left on the
I'D. The serenity of great quiet has set
tied down over the nations capital. But
1t is nevertheless the center from which
the biggest business in the world is be-
ing conducted and these nine young men
are running the business.
There is Huntington Wilson, for in
stance, at the Department of State. His
finger is upon the pulse of the foreign
relations and details while Mr.. Knox is
imperturbable and inapproachable in hot
weather as when it is cold. He never
thaws. No man can reach him without
first kicking his heels in the outer Of
flee. 1t would be undiplomatic to have
ii otherwise and Mr.. Wilson is nothing
if not diplomatic. His demeanor is care
fully guarded. He speaks with much
caution. He was promoted some years
ago from a secretaryship at Picking to a
third assistant secretaryship at the State
Department. Again he was called back
from the ministership to Argentina, to
which he had just been appointed, to
take the first assistantship under the
present administration.
Around the corner from Mr.. Wilson is
Beekman Winthrop, assistant secretary
of the navy. Here is a young man of
great wealth who might be cruising
free as the wind on his own yacht at
the dictate of fancy, but who is, by pref
erence, perspirng over a departmental
accustomed to hard tasks. He has sue
ceeded In making himself a useful citi-
zen and a man of great ability. despite
the absence of the necessity of working.
He has labored unremittingly regardless
of inherited wealth.
Mr. Winthrop. who sits on the lid for
Secretary Meyer, was graduated from
Harvard in 1900 and admitted to practice
law in New York. He went to the Phil
ippineS instead and became secretary to
Gov. Taft. Later he was judge of the
court of first instance in those islands.
Then he became Governor of Porto Rico
and assistant secretary at the Treasury.
then assistant to Mr.. Meyer. In all his
past experiences there has been much
work and not little hot weather. He
has become Injured to both. He likes
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-08-07
In Time of Peace.

ATHE old bronze cannon around old
! Hickory's statue here are being
put to a practical use at last" said the
guardian of Lafayette Park, as he leaned
against the railing around Jackson's
statue. THE birds in the park have
pre-empted them as nesting places, and
each one is now small nursery for
young ,birdies. They haven't ventured
out yet most of them, but I can tell
whenever there's been a recent arrival
In the family by the excited flutterings
of the old birds and the importance the
new father gives himself. l guess rails
ing birds is probably the best use those
old British cannons were ever put to-"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-08-07
Human Potatoes.

FREDERICK TOWNSEND MARTIN
/ the leader of the more intellectual SET
of New York society, praised, at one OF
his dinners, the American heiress' new
resolve to marry only an American man.
There's Miss Hartman" he said.
There's Miss Townsend. There Miss
Gould. These girls have set a fashion
that hope will prevail for long time
Mr.. Martin smiled.
After ALL" he said, "a nobleman. with
nothing to boast of but his ancestors, Is
but human potato-the sole good thinS
about him is under ground.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-08-07
.NMLEZMH4KS
A6zSZ40T &CRgZ4Rx
AGACZMzZz2E

post Office detail from top to bottom and
upside down.
Mr.. Grandfeld was chief clerk for Mr..
Hitchcock when the latter was assistant
postma ster general. He was promoted
when Mr.. Hitchcock got the cabinet port
folio. Six months ago he was appointed
postmaster for the city of Washington.
But he has been so busy upstairs that
he has had no opportunity to take charge
of the new job which is on the ground
floor of the same building. He is still
assistant postmaster general and the
postmastership is waiting.
The cause of this detention is the siren
nous effort that the Postmaster General
is making to run the department without
a. deficit Two years ago Uncle Sam
went in the hole s17.0OOOO0 in the postal
business The figures for the year ending
June 80 last are not yet available, but
Mr. Grandfield states that they will be
around $1,000, OO0-a reduction Of $4,000
OCO in a single season. For the coming
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-08-07
Ast0niShing.

THE late Goodwin Smith. from his
Toronto library. sent forth many an
encouraging word to struggling young
men.
Prof Smith knew how hard success was
to obtain. and to physician in Philadel-
phia he once wrote:
Success. if you work hard is sure to
be yours in the end. though doubtless the
thing that most astonishes the young
physician is TO find how difficult patients
are TO obtain and how easy to lose"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-08-07
Why the Eye Sees
Things Upside Down

those nerves running away from the
retina were cut the result would be
seeing things upside down.
I'VE are not conscious of the picture
formed on the retina of our eye. 1t is
only the vibrations working on our
brain which bring the results we are
aware Of If the two nerves running
to one side of the brain were cut at
the brain the result would be partial
blindness in both eyes. That is be-
cause each Of those two nerves connects
with each eye. If. on the other hand.
the nerves were cut just as they leave
the retina, only one eye would be af-
fected. the result being total blind
ness.
Another prominent oculist was asked
whether or not small babies saw things
upside down.
although the process of seeing IS
dependent upon the BRAIN he replied,
II do not believe that babies see things
inverted. Their actions are not such
as to lead to that conclusion. 1T is my
opinion that the process of seeing is
inherited by every child. Perhaps, il
the first infant could have been studied
the case might have been different. To-
day the baby is but the product and
sum of all those that have gone before,
born, I firmly believe, with the ability
to see things as they are. This can be
looked at in another light. If you
take a newly Matched duckling and
throw it in pond, it will not drown.
but will swim just all ducks do. 1t
is simply born in it, 1t is the same
with babies and sight.
There are cases, however, where the
patient, through some accident Or other,
has been affected so that things appeared
upside down. One case of that kind came
under my notice not long ago. 1t had
been noticed first through the writing of
the patient. He wrote everything back
ward, and it could only be read by hold
ing to a looking glass or when written
on very thin paper and held to the light.
/ was unable TO find out just the nature
of the accident which had caused this
condition. it having happened about IA
year previous. When the man was first
afflicted he went almost crazy. He had to
walk with two canes, III the most labo-
rious manner. He imagined he was walk
ing on the ceiling. Gradually he taught
himself to become accustomed to his con-
djtion and he finally was able to walk
with one cane. In seeing things he would
see them behind If they were before him
He got so that if he wanted his hat
which was just before him he would
pause then reach in the proper direction
for it. This is a condition recognized by
oculists. but is so infrequent that very
few have seen such cases. 1t is not a dis
ease which is thoroughly Well known,
either as to its cause or cure.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-08-07

president TAFT Takes
i Capital With Him When
He Leaves Washington
Nine Young Men Are Trans
acting Affairs of as Many
Great Departments = Hunt
ington Wilson in Charge at
Department of State-Beek-
man Winthrop is Head of
Navy Department-Charles
D. Hills ct the Treasury
William r. Harr is Youngest
Official in Charge at Present
Time = Other Young Men
Who Are Attending to De-
tails.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-08-07
Quotation Marks.

cENATOR BEVERIDGE. in an after
- dinner speech in Cleveland, said of a
corrupt politician:
The mans excuse is as absurd as the
excuse that a certain minister offered on
being convicted of plagiarism
Brethren said this minister, 1T is
true that | occa sionally borrow for my
sermons, but | always acknowledge the
fact in the pulpit by raising two fingers
at the beginning and two at the end of
the borrowed matter, thus indicating that
Ii is led -
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-08-07

- NE thinks occasionally, one does,
and not without bit of Won
derment mingled with a GER
tain ruefulness. about the huge
amount of wholly unnecessary
chatter that most of us spill between
hay-abandoning time in the morning and
understanding time at night.
Believe one, a lot of us, in respect of
chatter splitting bear a resemblance to
Paraguayan parrakeeIs that is as start
ling as it is upon reiection) humiliating.
Not 10 put too fine point upon it. there
are quite some of who, like the
sirnian of renown. talk a-plenty and then
additionally. The poignant sorrow of the
matter is that in our daily commerce
few of us ever say anything that il is at
all necessary to say.
How would any of us like. for instance,
10 have all OF our fiivvy little prattle.
all Of il that's eXuded between Setting-up
time and goiEg-to-bcd time. registered
upon Invisible phonograph records, and
thea put into the machine and pulled
upon Us just as We Were numbering into
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-08-07
Not Every Woman Nowadays
Faints at Sight of Telegram

make ler say, right along, year after
year. cycle after cycle till the sand glass
of time is ground into mere powdery dust
Il shan't-So there now
Then she turns the telegrams envelope
over and looks at the pasted back of it
for a long, long while, ruminatingly
awed depressed, borne upon by a million
affrighted thoughts, as if to penetrate tho
terrible secret of the missive like a phony
mind-reader doing that name-reading
thing through the thick envelope.
'Wel, gosh, what are you going to do
stand there and look at the envelope all
day?' the Infamous Ichthyosaurus Of the
Outfit kicks in at this point-according to
the funnyers.
IF l thought for a moment that poor
old Uncle Silas had gone off. don't know
what j should" she says, letting her
sentence wander off into sort of q
moan.
~ couldn't kill that old tightwad with
pole-aX-you oughta know that" the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-08-07

She cazes tstill vide the comicalerst
and sazes at the address on the tele-
grams envelope, as though she would
read the very soul of that commonplace
chirosraphy.
..Oh. | wonder who IN the wide, wide
world is dead?" she says In weak,
husky. muffled tone, just like the alb
sinthe-soused Nine. Y. saying: Its the
Wynd in the chimney
s.Wha1's the matter with looking at II
and finding out?" asks her spouse, stand
ing deprecatingly by-(were giving the
bromidic narrative of the joklsts, You
understand). 80
dear me-" she says, still gazing and gaz-
ing at the kilograms envelope and turn
ing chalkier every minute.
"Aw gimme that telegram and let
see what's in it,'' brutally cuts in the
man of the plant.
She snatches the horrible missive out OF
his reach, but makes not the least EFFORT
in life to tear open the envelope and find
out what it's all about.
Mother wasn't Ill when l had my last
letter from her four days ago, and SO 1t
one hand over her heart as If to queil
its palpitating.
Say, look a-here, why don't you open
it?" groWls the Abysmal Brute known
as her husband.
Let me alone-Tm afraid to- she re-
plies, clasping the unopened dispatch to
her bosom.
.'Wel, l aint-lemme open it for you
says the Wallowing Diplodocus of 1.-THE
Dump.
Il shan't-so there, now the jokists
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-08-07

HERE is a new set
of officials on the
job in WaShin gtou
keeping the wheels
of the government
on the move. The
big chiefs are way
on their vacations
and the young men
behind the throne
are performing
their tasks. Yet.
vithal, there seems
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-08-07
In a Different Liuht.
THE car was crowded. So much

THE car was crowded So much so. in
fact. that several occupants were
compelled to remain on the rear platform
Among these was an elderly lady, rather
short, Of not uncertain weight and pos
sessed of a twinkling eye
Fares came the voice OF the con-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-08-07

Washington in the summer. incidentally
he wears a Vandyke beard. which is the
only one of it's kind in secretary circles
outside the Department of Agriculture.
Mr.. Hills is over in the Treasury
Charles d. Hills. 1t is his duty to re-
main in charge of the purse strings of
the nation and the multitudinous other
duties while Mr.. MacVeagh takes his va
ca tion in New Hampshire At the Treas
ury there is little cessation of work
through the summer and the acting sec
rotary is busy all the time.
Mr.. Hills is personal appointee of
President Tafts. He is the kind of man
that Mr. Taft likes best. He is a col
lege man and may almost be termed a
pedag ogue, as his chief duties before en-
tering the government service were in
administering the affairs of prepara-
tory school in New York state. Before
that he had lived in Ohio.
one OF his three children some weeks
ago threw the household into confu-
sion by asking at the supper table:
Are you rich, papa? Teacher asked
me If you were rich
To which the man who is handling
all the funds of the nation was forced
to respond in the negative.
At the Department of Justice. again,
youth is enthroned. The youngest as
sistant attorney general of them all is
In charge. This man is William Il.
Harr. a native of the District of Co
lumbia and but thirty-eight years old.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-08-07

the alfalfa? Wouldn't there be many
phrase in such a tumble of inexpensive
persifage that we fain would blue pen
Gil?
If We had TO listen, per monograph rec
ord, to all OF the trifing tommyrot we'd
CoHtriVed TO emit through our midriffs
through a nVe-lonC summers day. isn't
Il a fair1sh 1o-to-1 shot that on the fol-
lowing day we'd sort % curl up on the
chatter thing and only Imcon conversa-
ton when and where IL happened To be
required by the necessities OF the case?
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-08-07

little glances out of the tail of your nigh
wick, and say you:
Who did it-your wife,
Whereupon he grinS. takes Off his hat,
feels of his hair, and would like to know
what in the dickens you see wrong about
that haircut Of his'n. anyhow.
'Oh, nothing" you reply, momentarily
bubbling over your marvelously marked
down wit but somebody must ha held
dishpan over your bean when it was
being cut. Looks in the back as If you
were one of those Russian moujiks
thatre printed in an article about Toll
stoi.''
Foolish, Ell? You better believe it's
foolish. It's foolish to the verge of
ribald. But can you conscientiously plant
your near fin on the bosom of your silka-
line shirt and maintain in the face of
society and the accusatory stars that
you've never eased that kind of piffie
out Of your diaphragm when there wasn't
the slightest need call for the same
in the wide, wide world?
We come back from some punkerino lit
tie trip to some commonplace little point
and, wholly forgetful of the wise and uni
versal adjuration to tell it to Sweeney,
we pounce upon the first man who'll lis
ten to us. We proceed to unfold unto
MN iii vi lfe dtldilS ana anu
appogiaturas and da capos and allegros
and andanteS and codaS of our onnery lit
tie expedition to the meaSiey little place.
despite the fact that he stands there and
yawns in the very teeth of us while We're
herding him up and telling it to him; and
when it's all over, what have We gained?
Why, the fellow we've spilled it all to
finally makes his getaway, and on his way
down the street he says to himself:
The next time that adipose crumb of
nj ma m "a
eases two thousand seven hundred and
ing to have the Post Office Department
put an embargo or something on my
mail!''
And he goes through the remainder Of
his life hating you for a bore. and he
tells everybody he knows that you re the
pest what is when il comes to unnmber-
ing whole caissons full to the top with
wheezy utteranceS that are as unfnforma-
tive as they are gibbering; and you could
have saved the entire mess by simply
keeping that little unnecessary assert
ment of chatter safely buckled up in your
bosom.
But if you don't engage in the chatter
thing, they call you a crab and Crouch
If you're not there at all hours oil the
day and night with u vanload OF hlppant
and niXerino gabble-gabble they swing
on you. furtively, of course, and call you
one of those Stuck-ups ION what! they IN
quire), and declare unto each other that
you're too crazy over yourseit 10 say IL
word, and
oh. well, it's u problem, that's all: To
spill chatter or not 70.
We used to think Daniel Boone was q
class-A g1ump for keeping civilization at
arms length-always about a thousand
mile arms length. But we've Topped
nightly as TO that think, believe one
CLARENCE l.. CULLEN.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-08-07

Thus We mooch through the long sum
mer's day, volieying onnery little wads
OF badinage for which there is neither
market nor call, but which we imagine,
through tradition, habit and convention
that we've got to work out of our sys-
tenn or perish from verbal congestion
10. BIZ. we say to the chap we
haven't seen for couple of weeks
"Whereja get the tan? Musta been troll
leying over to Anacostia.''
We know mighty we'll that that fell
low has been on delightful vacation of
a fortnight up around Nantasket and
Narragansett and sich-like places, but
were too Internally mean and common to
come over and make him feel a little bit
better with himself by letting him know
that we know where he's been; hence
our contemplate little crack about Ana
costa. Why couldn't We have been hu-
man being enough to tin the chatter and
ask him outright about what kind of a
time he'd had and so on? Because we're
chatter spillers. that's why, like the ma
Jority of our neighbors.
We meet ii former boarding house land
lady on the street, Juggling a market
basket-the Iandlady, not we-nev-er we
on the basket number. We come to a full
and wholly unnecessary stop and begin
the old No. { bunk.
"Hod do. Mrs. Tuffkutlets, say We
You're looking 'mense.'
immense? says she, languishingly,
for she's fat and pretends TO be sensitive
about it DO YOU mean fat when YOU
say that"
Nhereupon you lie like Rarrabas and
tell her that, far from looking even
piumplsh. she strikes YOU as being posi-
lively attenuated if not emaciated
And hoWs the good wife," asks she
resting the other foot. She doesn't care
the weight of one Of the string beans in
hcr basket how the good wife is, but
HOS rar Of
she goes through with ii. Well,
hone -
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-08-07

All Of the jokists and pert para graphers
s-vorking at it steadily every summer
have failed. for example. TO cure US of
our indurate habit of inquiring Just about
so many times each and every day if il
Is hot enough for him, her or them
The cOnscience-stricken writer hereof
would be willing To offer any reasonable
odds that. If all the breath that's ex-
pended all over the United States on anv
one hot day in asking this is-it-hot-
enough-for-you question could be bagged
and utilized for utilitarian purposes. that
bunch OF breath would be ample enough
To float all of the aeroplanes and diri-
Eibles in the world for the next five
years
What difference does il make whether
ne, sne or them think that il is or ism [
hot enough for them she or he?
But the -hot-enough h for-you thing
Is only one very teeny-seeny method
OF spilliug unue cessary chatter
We met a fellow who's wearing a new
pair OF shoes.
i1o, pipe the new kicks" exclaim we,
with our well known lahorious blithe-
ness. 'Wherja snag 'em?'
Downturn Bimsteens," says lie. Like
emp
VAR niftish-vair'," say We. gazing
solemEly at the Ee% shoes, w.eu, as /
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-08-07
Splitting Useless Chatter
on Unsuspecting Friends

matter of simple truth, we haven't the
slightest interest in the world in those
new shoes, and are merely uncoiling
prattle out of fool habit. .'Wunnerful-
wunnerfulI Hmuch?'
"Finiph.' says he, meaning, of course,
five metallic seeds. Marked down from
sev'naff."
And there we stand, two supposedly
Grown-up human beings, stand there
mayhap i'll the blazing sun, and gnaw
the lambrequin about that new pair of
shoes of his, and eXpend volts, amperes
and watts of energy gnawing about em,
and Ginning idiotically about shoes in
general, when, the SIMPLEST little mat
ter OF fact that you eve heard in all
your life, there was no need for that
consignment of conversation from the
very beginning: there was nothing what
ever to be gained by entering upon it.
and we both stood convicted of being
mere anthropoidS for starting it at all.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-08-07

And you tell her that the good wife
was never better in her life, though
you'd left her with a sick headache that
morning. And then your whiiome land
LADY asks you where you're living now
and how you like it and il you're still
as fond of coffee as YOU used to be.
You cut in when YOU can with "A lot of
poor. drively stuff called for by this
artificial situation, and the hull confab
lasts about ten minutes maybe, and when
it's all over il still remains so much No.
South Breeze lowering vainly in the
air. and nobody has gained a thing by
il. and you're dimly conscious, way back
in the deep of your subconsciousness.
that you've done some rather dreary
lying, and-and there you be-
You poke along, presently meeting up
with chap who's had his hair cut that
forenoon. Now, this fellows haircut is
positively none of your affair. You know
that it's none of your affair, and you
know that you have no more interest in
his haircut than YOU have in a serial
story in an agricultural magazine. But
habit prevails and bears YOU down, and
- you hand hini one Of those cut-uppy