davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-10
ON THE WRONG SIDE
OF THE RIVER

De Wolf Hopper, the comedian, was
talking about an obstinate man.
"He is 'sot' in his ways" said Hop
per. ne is as bad as the old planter
OF history.
"An old planter in the palmy days
before the war was blown up In a
steamboat accident on the Mississippi.
They fished him out unconscious. At
the end of an hours manipulation he
came TO.
Where am To- he asked, lifting his
head feebly.
safe on Shore the doctor told
him.
What side of the river?' he in
CURED.
1.-The Iowa side the doctor re-
piled.
The planter frowned. He looked
at the turbid. yellow stream. Then he
said:
Just my luck 10 land In a Prohibi-
ton state. Chuck me in again.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-10

know, nod a choral INSECT, blease."
After dot | tackled der tenderhoof.
Hiss name ISIS Reginald st. Vitus Fitz-
maurice. I'VE are glat TO Welcome you
to der acid proof Vest, we're efery
brospegtor bleases, und only man is
wort vile," | spoke. "Diss COLT mine
ought to make you rich-id certainly
ain'd making us"
Avis there-aw-any danger OF
overproduction of precious metal from
it?" he Wished to know.
Nod from diss mine hollered
Adolf. I'D ISIS goot mine--id can
be worked for a million years ind nod
make anybody mollycoddle OF great
wealt."
How do you get the-aw-gold
out?" asked Mr.. Convulsions, as Adolf
refers NIT him.
Den EXPLAINED dot all der ore bass
to be reduced, und by der dime i'd ISIS
reduced dere aind much left. Den vot
ISIS left ISIS poisoned NIT de cyanide
brozess, und den you assess der stock
holters for abberading oxbenses.
After diss dere wass no more abouid
i'd, und we shut up der deal quick so
we coult be millionaires in English
| Channel Submarine Taxicab Transpor-
tation Company, Limited becoss f1nf
millions is our limid.
After hating our English Channel
und-so-weiter stock baled in a hay
press. me und Adolf hiked for der
sage brush so we coult laugh NIT noise
ad der tenderhoof. Choyfully.
OSCAR.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-10
Mr.. Taft's Forecast

the new conditions. II the govern
ment be beaten, then there will be a
universal demand for the strengthen
ing of the Antitrust law, or at least
the provision OF a remedy which will
force huge combinations Of capital to
conduct business more in the interest
of the people than Is the case today.
Such is the presidential argument
in favor OF the election Of a quarrel
ing Republican house OF representa-
tives this fall. II VIII be observed
that the best he can offer is "a vast
reorganization OF business with
more legislation to "grapple with new
conditions" On the other hand, IL
the government shall be beaten In the
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-10
Senator Cores Charges

be more probable than narrative of
an attempt TO continue IL by corrupt
ing a Senator or SO In the interest of
another senator or so and bribing a
few members OF the house?
There Is no moral difference be-
tween the exploitation of 10000 Amer
lean citizens through the agency Of
a thieving tariff law and the swind-
ling of a few thousand Indians for the
benefit of clique OF "chevaliers
d'industrie' at Washington and in
Oklahoma. About all that Is asked
by the gentlemen who want $4,000, 900
from the Indians Is reasonable
profit upon their expenditure OF en-
ergy. The fixing OF crooked sched-
ule in behalf of the cotton or wooden
mills involves the same amount OF
moral bliquity.-Louisville Courier
Journal.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-10

1t is a fiery path which the presi-
dent in an authorized interview points
out for business and industry during
the next two years. Without quoting
Mr.. Taft directly, the Chicago III
bune correspondent describes MS
views as follows:
Before the congress elected In NO
vember shall meet the supreme court
will land down it's decisions In the
Standard Oil and Tobacco Trust cases,
and If the contention of the govern
nent be sustained. as the president
believes 1t will be. vast reorganiza-
ton OF business will follow and legis-
lation must be provided 10 enable the
government properly TO grapple with
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-10
Brest, Canada, West,
August the Goth, 80.

August the Goth, 80.
After more advenchers than wood
I'LL a book | am here in anada safe
under the protectin tail us the British
lion, where no draftin orfiser kin mo-
lest nor make me afraid. Halleloogy!
I never shood he taken this step
he'd a good. sound, constooshnel doc
tor bin appinted medical eggsaminer;
fer | he twict ez menny diseases ez
wood he eggsemptid me, but ] wuz
afeared the eggaminer woodent see
EN-, ez he amt much NV a physician,
anyhow; besides, he votes the Union
ticket, and hez, NV coarse, preJudisis.
the commissioner Is bloody ubUfrsfr=
mist: and | owe him store bill which
hez stood about eight years. | pro-
test agin all sich Apartments.
I left, In company with five other
invalids, wun mite, little after the
"witchin hour us 12m," ez Shakspeer
hez it, and emmy wun beholdin our
faces wood hev been satisfied that
sum "church-yard yawned jest pre-
viously." We traveld all mite, "sus-
tanned and soothed by an unfaltrin
trust" in a bottle witch I. with my
usual foresite, took along, together
with two and a third yards NV bolony
sausage. witch | alluz use as thirst
provoker We met no interrupshun
till we got within five miles NV To
ledo (Which we did by p IN NV the
next day--wich, permit me to remark,
was good travelin fer SIGH debillytat-
ed cusses). when we wux stopt by
pickit-guard NV the anti-draftin In
valid league, who remarkt: Who
goes thare?" "A invalid" says |. "A
peece invalid?" seq he.
There amt no other kind" seq |;
whereupon seq he. "Yoor a man NV
sense" fact NV witch | he'd bin long
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-10

LAVA LEDGE. Idaho: Hoch! Hoch'
Hoch. Dreimal hoch Our COLT mine
has ad last turned ouid a COLT mine
for me und Adolf. We are so glat
dot we are jolly.
We haf solt i'd by a tenderhoof for
finf million tollars-4 tollars in money
und der rest in English Channel Sub
marine Taxicab Transportation com
pany stock CLimited). Maybe We can'd
lose, becoss our mine ISIS no goot.
Der Teller vich We solt i'd to ISIS a
Englisher. He came here NIT der big
head. tolt Adolf dot i'd ISIS der fresh
tenderhoof who gets caught init salt
on his CLAIM.
please. vot is a tenderhoof?' Adolf
hat der obesity to ask me.
OK" | said; "a tenderhoof ISIS a
soft footpad We will sting him. und
den retire NIT our ill-gotten gains we're
our investors can'd come und wake us
up"
please, vot ISIS ill-gotten gains p
again asked Adolf. who don'd know
holdings; he knows less dan dot
"Ill-gotten gains" | made ouid to
him. 'iss diseased difidents."
We fixed up some nice golt-platet
COLT nuggets for him, becoss SAMPLE
In der hant ISIS wort two in der assay
offs Den | tolt Adolf to kip hiss fat
face shut like a clam. "A clam"
mentioned him, ''iss, as you should
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-10
From Another Point of View
However, they'll not let Gallagher so.

However, they'll Gallagher
of the Is
one mind.
with holding
4 10 along whistle
be Of
a
Jaw?
Sporting NoeThe Michigan National Guard yesterday
the
Irunthe will be that much
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-10
The Reddest Stain Is
Upon the Claw OF
the Tammany Tiger
The Man Who Shot Down Mayor
caynor Couldn't Think Other
wise Than That the New
Order Of Things Was
Personal.

deliver majorihes
His means of livelihood corruption of the ballot
He died Sing Sing
One of Gaynor official prior boarding the Kaiser Wilhelm
der Crosse at her pier in Hobokn Tuesday,
rensa job employee the city New York who failed
punch his time clock.
discharged city employe shot him.
These facts alone explain public estimate of the who
lies between nd death in the Hoboken hospital
They citizen appreciate why the hand
against him the zenith
Of his public while the people his calling him the
governohp being mentioned the land
connection presidency of the United States
couns hopes Gaynor will survive
the bullet carry the
prova and upon public officer who did his duty
he it.
There are too few country Gaynors
spared.
James J. Gallagher Gaynor.
Gallagher empoye the dock department Of New York
And yet his grievance against the tys highest Office
PERSONAL, and he would take his life
him. have find that Mayor
Gaynor personally dokhand personally into his
department city personally the tmelOck
Gallagher supposed punch.
cut of the city roit he
blamed Gaynor personally
And in explaining pier said: HE away
bread butter"
Gallagher beenem employed by the city since 1900.
He knew he understood the old better than the
estimate public job different from the Gaynor est
He had served mayors long voted right
long as he contributed what had
he beginning quitting work working
all unless he felt like it,
duty political corruption under Tammany
I rule in New York gave to Gallagher
who Tammanys candidate with his
rye upon tmeoc probably couldn't otherwise than
That was be death with such
Gallagher go Gaynor dies to prison Gaynos
lives but he will political nquies New York
put honesty public service beyond the understanding
Of their trained boo hng and made the honest
public officers unsafe.
tragedy Hobken pier but the elimination New
FORKS by crooks and cuthroas
Gaynor demanded public employe SERVICE
and HOURS in for what the city paid him.
He a disappointment Tammany he has to
Gallagher desperate attempted his person
an outraged Tammany would be glad him politically
the the mortal wound from
the gunho in his neck go upon HIS OWN
Y COLLAR.
Men in public seldom any other
mans.
may GaynOr live and with him civic government for New York
country the high order in the Gayno ideals
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-10
VERY LITTLE GAINED.

country puin weeds
Now tn
weeds"
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-10
SILLY SEASON REPARTEE.

.sThey still have horse in New York.
"Yes but not enough horses ride TO make II pay
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-10
A PICNIC THRILLER.

did Lizzie when caterpillar dropped
me trcc7"
'rshs said. stop your tickling. George"
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-10
EDITORIALS BY THE PEOPLE.
Who'll Speak for aurrov,,,

To the Editor OF The Times. Al
cording to inside information. thinr1
are badly disrupted In the Burrowl
camp IL seems plans have heed
drawn 10 use n full line CT trus}
speech-makers TO come To the ala al
Comrade Burrows. but results OF such
EFFORTS In Kansas, Iowa and Nebrask1
as shown by the primaries makes r
quite plain that the people are NOT
taking their advice from such source1
and IL Will take something more thar
Cannons, Daizells, Aldrichs and other
corporation representatives TO stem
the tide OF the Progressiyes
IL will be interesting to watch de-
yelopments and see who OF the stand
pat bunch" is 10 show up in our state
IN the aid OF our Senator Burrows.
who only missed one opportunity TO
vote Yes" on every one OF the thou-
sands OF schedules OF the Aldrich hill
and against the interest OF 95 per
cent OF the people OF this state.
PROGRESSIVE.
Hudson, Mich, Aug. 8, 1910.
Wants Times to Follow Him.
To the Editor OF The Times. I am
sending you a copy OF the Jamestown
Journal which gives an account OF our
convention. The Times is the only
paper in Detroit that publisher
Pastor Russell's sermons; therefore
am sending you this paper ia
show you how popular these ser
mons are. am one OF your
regular subscribers In Detroit and |
congratulate The Times because these
sermons are published every week.
am receiving The Times every day
while here. 1t is a paper that would
not be without. | wish you additional
success.
III. N, NELSON,
AS Adams-ave., west.
Detroit, Mich, Aug. 9. 1910.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-10

One of the first official acts OF
William J. Gaynor when launched
upon a political career and while dis
trict attorney for Kings county, was
to send to prison corrupt politician.
His name was John Y. McKane'
known as the boss Of Gravesend, in
the Coney Island district, and he
could always be depended upon to
deliver majorities.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1910-08-10
Wants Times to Follow Him.

Hudson, Mich. Aug. Q, 1910
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-11-22

stufed Apples
 Pare tart apples and steam 1hntif tender but urbroken. Core the fruit and fill the centers with preserved tomatoes, or gooseberries, and place about the roast
 MeIba Potatoes
 Boil and mash the hot potatoes. season with little salt and pepper; then whip with fork until light; place in a hot dish, making tall mound, which score with 9 knife lengthwise; place a lump of butter on top and dust the sides lightly with papriIea and finely chopped parsley.
 Georgia swest Potat,eI Boil four medium potatoes, pare and cut into lengthwise slices about one half inch thick; fry in hot butter and sprinkle with four tablespoonfu1s of granulated sugar while frying.
 Cranberry Jelly 1 Stew two quarts berries in a kettle,
 using just enough water to cover; when soft rub through a sieve. Allow one 1 pound of sugar for every pint of juice {; i boil and stir for ten minutes, pouring 1 into a mold or dish to become cold. 1 When cold, spoon into glass dish and decorate with sliced bananas dipped in lemon juice to prevent their becoming ] discolored.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-11-22

mato or celery variety is usually liked by most people, and these also eliminate the necessity Of having meat for the foundation.
 Potatoes can be mashed, baked. riced or made into c-oquettes, or an easy method, ard one which will be attract i've, IS 10 serve the white variety after the Melba fashion. he sweet potato can be added to tle r1e.iu, ard boiled. baked, mashed Or served i;l the Georgia way
 The steamed, stuffed apples or plain hot apple sauce, always all acco:npa:li- rnent of pork. will, substitute for the second vegetable.
 If spinach or salad is not desired, and the cupboard boasts of picilied peaches, watermelon rind or musl1nlelon man goes, then >ene of these fruits should be put on pretty dish and passed with the meats. Cranberry sauce or jelly will make just as good an accompani- nlent with pork as with the national bird.
 Pumpkin Pie
 Pumpkin pie is within the reach of all Thanks can be given that the price oi this yellow luscious vegetable has moi placed 1t in the list of forbidden lux urirs. A Hubbard squash, baked instead of boiled, makes richer custard tI,ar the pumpkin, but as many people have
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-11-22

el-;.1sy, f,oabonniereg in the form of ,fi;a-k r;viily favors, filled with confec- tir,R. ar1 piace-oards appropriately adernci v.iti, siihouettcs of John Alden, T. CT n ST the renowned Indian chief, T.z-quai-iunl. being careful to glue to tie ia.ser tilr traditional five kernels" or corn ,nadc famous by the story of ti,iS Irdian As in those days typical ! thanksgiving dinner was supposed to en,body aii the chaf-d 'euvres of the fosgcss in the fine of pickles, spiced fruits and sauces. small dishes contain iig rrolds of cider apple-sauce, corn relish. spiced stcwed cranberry. and var:o-Is sweet and sour pickles, may be added with admirable effect to the festal board. Planning the Menu
 Fortunately in planning the menu, a mental telescope directed towards the food supplies, of the early colonists re- vcals that they were rich in clans, oysters. Holsters and other sea foods, while wild turkey and duck, as well as a choice assortment of vegetables and fruits, formed some of the gastronoruic conlpensations of our early ancestors with this. end in view, the following menn is suggested, the quaint titles giv- ing an added zest to the dainties oi which it IS composed:
 Mayhower Soup. 5- Cape Cod Devilied Lobster
 Aassasoit Wild Turkey. Sweet Potato Croquettes
 Standish Succotash. Creamed Onions
 Plymouth Game Pie.
 rinslow Salad. Bradford Cheese Canapes-
 Colonial Pie
 Cider Cream Apple-Sauce
 To prepare the MayAower soup, place
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-11-22

i'll the bottom Of soup-kettle layer of chopped clans, covering with sue cessive layers of canned tomatoes, minced onion, hnely-chopped potatoes and canned corn; continue alternating the layers until the kettle is nearly full, allowing two layers of clans to each one of the vegetables. Add only sufficient water to well cover, and simmer slowly for about two hours; then strain and season highly with celery salt, salt and paprika; meanwhile prepare a quart of rich milk by heating to the scalding point and thickening with a heaping tablespoonful of white roux, pouring the soup liquor and the creamed milk simul- taneously into heated tureen, in which a cupful of stifay-whipped cream has been placed. Serve immediately, accom- panied by toasted pilot biscuit Massasoit Wild Turkey
 As genuine wild turkeys are some times difficult to procure, an ordinary bird treated after this given formula can hardly be distinguished from the real article Procure the turkey at least three days before Thanksgiving, and after cleaning and washing 1t, stuff it with the following dressing: Crate finely small loaf of stale graham bread, add ing two finely minced onions, three peeled and chopped tart apples, heap ing teaspoonful of poultry seasoning, half teaspoonful of paprika, one tea spoonful of salt, three tablespoonfuls of melted butter, a pinch of sweet herbs
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-11-22

sentiment regarding the latter as truly Colonial dish, and more fitting to commemorate the day, 1t IS for the housewife to determine which is to be used.
 Old-fashioned ice-crcam should find place at this meal, and the Colonial cornmeal pudding, baked to a creamy custard, plentifnl1y sprinkled with large, plump raisins, IS also delicious dish. A surfeit of desserts is not healthy, and she is wise who will serve either pud- ding and ice-cream, or pie and frozen dessert, winding up with nuts and raisins.
 Boned Fresh Ham
 Scrub the meat wclf in Iukevarm water and singe of any bristies. If the marketman cannot bone it, take the longest, thinnest- -bladed knife at hand and insert at the large end close to the bone; cut steadily and carefully as far through as possible; then repeat the process through the small end untii the bone can be turned about and with drawn. Cover the meat with boiling water, to which add two tab1espoc1fufs of salt. and simmer six hours; remove. and while hot fill the cavity with bread dressing. set in dripping-pan and pour over a pint of cider; place in hot oven and bsste every five mirutes for onc-half hour At the end of this time remove and take the rind from the fat, sprinkle with granulated sugar, cracker dust, and score with hot poker. Send to the table hot.
 Dressing for Ham
 Moisten one cupful of breadcrunbs with tablespoonful of melted butter;
 season highly with salt, pepper, chopped parsley, sage and onion juice; or put in
 saucepan a, tablespoonful of butter and fry III it one minced onion; then add one cupful of soaked bread, the water being pressed out one-haff cur- ful of stock, one tcaspoonful of salt, one-laif teaspoonfh each of pepper and sage, one-ha1f cupful of celery cut fnto small pieces; stir until 1t leaves the sides of the pan.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-11-22

ducing the waist-lme an inch or two is more than 1 can tell.
 Danger of Laeing
 The one who laces pays for her in- anity by bodily discomfort from the pinching; by serious injury to her in- ternal organs. which after a while are pushed out of place; by indigestion be- cause of pressure on the stomach. She cannot exercise or walk properly. The only wonder IS that so many women can endure the tightness of their cor sets and keep as well as they do.
 Women have an idea if they screw their feet into shoes which are a size or two smaller than what they should wear that they are improving the looks of their feet. Who knows or cares what size of shoes woman wears or even gives it thought? But the fact that her shoes are tight is borne m ence which half cripples her.
 the high heels, placed halfway under her foot to give the appearance of a short shoe or slipper. She cannot walk properly. she topples along; her feet are misshapen by bringing all the weight to bear on the ball of the foot, spread ing 1t at the joints and causing bunions-
 It was thought that OUT grandmothers were silly because of their dress many years ago, but the fashions of to-day are even more to be ridiculed. The French a century ago called these styles which are in vogue to-day Incredible" ." Medern "Incroyablss''
 It is indeed incredible that women will wear through the coldest winter weather lace sleeves to cover the arms and only thin covering over their bare necks; that they will go in the streets with pumps. mere slippers with high heels, and thin lisle or silk stockings covering their feet and legs; that they will pile on their heads monstrosities of hats, with crowns so large that they deprive tbe figure of any sense of pro- nortion. or brims SD broad that thev can
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-11-22


 and a cupfM of boiled chestnut puree Rub overythe outside skin of the bird each morning with little onion juice, to which has been added pinch of sweet thyme, and when ready to roast, haste in the pan with melted peanut but ter and a cupful of apple-sauce. Serve ganished with tiny fried sausage links. Plymouth Game Pie
 A roast duck, one pound of broiled calf's liver and boiled rabbit are re- quired for this delicacy. Cut the meat from the duck and rabbit into small cubes, leaving in the smaller joints if preferred, and chop the liver, adding three hard-boiled eggs, six stoned and chopped olives, a tablespoonful of minced parsley, and a pint of thick brown stock highly seasoned with onion juice. cayenne and salt; turn into deep pudding dish that, has been lined with very rich biscuit dough rolled thin, and cover the top with diminutive biscuits placed close together and rolled in the same manner, baking in quick oven for about thirty-five minutes Garnish with plumes of curled celery or punches of crisp cress.
 winslow Salad
 After such substantial dinner, a simple salad is to be preferred Cut into inch-lengths large can of aspara- gus (rejecting the sta1ks) and mix | lightly with an equal quantity of chopped celery, adding cupful of shredded let tuce, two hard-boiled eggs cut into dies and few capers; toss the ingredient, lightly together. moistening with whit, mayonnaise dressing, and serve by tn, tablespoonful heaped into nests of hear lettuce leaves, decorating each portio, l with a teaspoonful of minced eress.