The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-06-09

liver trouble, mas died of stomach trou
ble," said one Of the physicians pa
tents.
Don't you believe al you hear" re
piled the doctor. When l treat MAJ
for liver trouble. he uIes of liver trou
BILE" -Everybody' Magazine.
49,
In the Dark.
A story is being told about Il certain
European sovereign who paid Il visit tC
England two or three years ago. He at
tended bridge party one afternoon, and
rs darkness began to fall, his hostess
said to him. Sir if you'll allow me IL
call for lights. | can't distinguish the
king from the knave.' London Daily
News
Berths Engaged.
"All aboard" called Noah, as the ark
was about to leave the dock.
Hey! Wait for usv' called the fam
lily that had been kidding his scheme
the day before.
TOO later' chuekled Noah, pulling in
the gangplank. 1--WE already have a pair
of asses!-Cleveland Leader.
Her Individual Cup.
Marjorie is a day pupil at a private
drinking from the common drinking cup
and bought her an aluminium collapsing
cup of her own.
The next day Marjorie came running
home, and with kiss, exclaimed:
"Oh, mother, all the other little girls
at school like me so specially much, and
we have the most fun with my new cup
They all stand in a line and take turns
drinking with it!'-Housekeeper.
Why He Wanted More.
A suburban chemist has been advertis-
ing his patent insect powder far and
shop and said excitedly:
"Give me another half pound of your
powder, quick, please"
"Ohr' remarked the chemist as he
proceeded to fill the order, ''I'm glad
you like the powder. Good, isn't it?'
YES" replied the customer 81 have
one cockroach very i'll: if 1 give him an.
other half pound he'll die."-Ladies
Home Journal.
The Usual Procedure.
Mrs. Jones-John. hear our cat howl
ing somewhere. Are you sure you put hel
out?
|
suppose.-Scraps.
$50
Craving for Variety.
The Professor want you children tC
go to my lecture tonight
Robert-Couldn't you whip us instead
Just this once, papa2Tit-Dits.
-+:.-
Proof.
Stalla 70 thav upa1 thvS
Bella-They gave baby an auto tire t.
cut It's teeth.-Harper'S Bazaar.
49,
No Offense Intended.
Pardon me, madam"
For whatY'
II inadvertently jabbed my eye into
your jeweled hatpin." w ashington Her.
old.
A Costly Fare.
''Uncle joe Cannon, in a recent po
litical argument at the New Willard no
tel said;
'SThat excuse is not good enough. Ii
reminds me of a Danville bartender.
This bartender came to work i'll q
Danville bar, and as soon as he arrived
the receipts began to diminish. The
boss at the end of the week said serious
ly TO the newcomer:
d" Look here, do you take money out
of the till?
"'Oh, no, SIR said the bartender. No
indeed, sir
Now said the boss, you must be
taking money. | know it.
''Well. of course, SIR said the bar
tender, / take out my car fare every
night
"'Oh you do, eh?' said the boss. And
where do you live, San Francisco? =
Washington Star.
>-:.~
All in the Family.
81 certainly admire that man."
what in the world for!'
His will power"
HE has no will power at ALL"
''Why, he told me that he just made
up his mind to quit smoking, and he
quit"
Hes lying; his wife made up her
mind and he quit. Post.
So Foolish.
''She is neglecting her game of bridge
dreadfully."
''Why is she doing that?'
"Some silly excuse. Says the children
need her, believe. ''-Pittsburg Post.
--.;.~
Acute Heart Trouble.
'Yes. remember him." said Alkali
Ike. HE died very sudden
Heart disease?" asked the eastern
tourist.
'Waal. now, 1 don't know as you kin
say it was the heart any more'n the
club, spade, or diamond. Anyway, he
dealt himself four aces. "-Philadelphia
Press.
$50
"She's the meanest woman know Of !"
"What makes you say that when you
don't even know her to speak top
II know, but she's the woman on the
other half of our party telephone line. y
Detroit Free Press