The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1910-04-15
OUR INCORPORATED HIRED MAN,.
By HUGH PENDEXTER


fer cold bites was sac cause of it all.
Of course, If my wife s cousin had not
brought us the radium from South
America none of the following stu
ations could have developed, an sci
once would continue to stumble along
anEghtaned What the falling apple
was 70 gravitation, the tea kettle to
steam, SO is Desire Daniels procaic
aanxering for lunches to tine possible
solution of perpetual motion.
1t seems my wife's cousin found
several pounds of radium, and as L I'M
Aerstand It, Is worth about $2,00O,00o
pound we considered is rather gen
srous in him to give all to us with the
exception Of a few ounces, which he
presented 10 his friends a. souvenirs
We kept the stuff in the pantry on an
old fashioned platter belonging to my
wife s mother, ana because of it's pro
penssty to illuminate the house at IN
seemly hours, we used to throw a table
cloth over it at night. ] remember nay
wife was worried for fear the platter
would get broken, or the table cloth
wear ont. I mention these homely de
taifs as showing our inconsequentiai
treatment of a vast fortune was ilIogi-
cal. Great wealth can not be treated
with the iafor1nality that one bestows
upon poor, and immaterial relatives
That is, if it is, it always raises the
old Ned, as my uncle used to say.
Whenever l read the ) clock market
edition and observe radium quotations
needs must moralize.
To revert; | was for selling the rad
INN, but my wife surrounded it with
sentiment. Her cousin. she reminded,
aad had touch of malaria in finding
It. and had been compelled to tell a
falsehood in smuggling it by the Gus
toms, and as we were doing nicely en-
our farm | did not urge the matter
But so far as praeticability was con
.erned, it was useless to us After we
mad It perhaps a month the novelty
wore threadbare. All the neighbors
inspected it skeptically, and old Mrs.
Skinner loudly protested that she
wouldn t give pinch of rosin for a
whole car load of it. 1t was at this
iuncture when we were carelesslv
throwing it around from pillar to post
that science prepared to take a ggan
tic stride.
In short, Desire Numbered into the
pantry one night and mistaking the
radium for maple fudge jevoured near
ly all of it. Possibly my wife and
were the very first to be permitted tc
study the effects of radium when eat
en- in large quantities.
I remember I was in the barn anl
had just extinguished the lantern whe1
Desire came out Of the ell door. Onl,
I did not know it was Desire;
thought it was stray aurora boreals
or a fire. For in a second the premi
ses were as light as they ever were il
the day time. Desire was simply
blaze
cts me-" he walled, approachin,
nearer. Even in great trouble he new
er could be grammatical 81 want
DOCTOR
While I was suggesting the villag
fire department, my wife appeared O
the porch, and possibly recalling tn
morrow's shopping plans, anxiousl
called out, els the world coming t
an end?''
Being cautious person I refraine
from answering until / had investigat
ed further. | simply knew that De
sire by some process was lighted u
like church. Then in a few discan
neeted sentences he revealed all.
I'm the name of chemistry 1 erie
g don 4 tell me you We eaten the brow
stuff under the table cloth in the par
try
| laughed harshly. Imagine a hire
man receiving 500 a month. paving fo
several million dollars worth of rae
Ium.
He hash It broken the platter, his
he, - anxiously colled my wife.
/ returned an effectionate negativ,
incidentally revealing the true situs
lion, and she retired, although remark
ing that she had hoped to keep her cou
IN s gift for al time. After all, he
view was the more sensibls Why b,
wall eating radium7 So | kindly toll
DESIRE to retire back to the barn an
keep low until he had gone out
You see the reelection from his i
liaIs's mated person now filled the who'll
Sky aai was licensed to attract after
ton. Pull some hay over you, or
This contractor got results.
Some years ago contractor build
ing ! railroad IN q warm climate was
y - l. -