davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23
ELECTION VIEWS.


From the Chicago Record Herald.
Indiana viii dispense with Beveridge,
but a prospect is held out that he may
be turned 20 account elsewhere. A pro-
lessor In one Of the Iowa colleges thinks
he has found a solution If Stoke-on-
Trent won't have you. you try 20 get
back into Parliament by way Of InYer-
ness or OF Neweastle-on-Tyn
Our professor declares that there is
nothing in the Federal Constitution TO
prevent the Iowa legislature from elect
ing Mr.. Beverage Senator provided he
will declare Iowa his legal residence. II
may be presumed. a fortiori, that there
Is nothing in the state constitution either.
Thus Mr.. Beverage might become the
successor Of the late Senator Dolliver
and the forward movement in the Re-
publican party proceed without interrupt
ton
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23
The Real Problem.

From HouseksepeT.
The farmer and his wife watched their
dog as he chased madly down the track
after the o'clock train. He did il every
day and always returned winded
u wonder why he chases that train
remarked the wife with her eyes on a
little cloud of dust that showed where
Rover was.
That's not what's bothering me" an
swered her husband I'm wondering
what he'd do with it If he caught it,
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23

less about the demands of labor unions.
He is distinctly an individualist. working
for his own hand
OF course, no American can contemplate
large influx Of Hlndoos into this eoun-
try-with their strange religious ideas and
their low standard of iving-with equa-
nlmity And yet the problem of Hindoo
immigration is not, perhaps, going to be
an easy one TO deal with. In the first
place, these natives of India are undoubt-
eddy British subjects, and any question
of restriction OF immigration will have
TO be the subject of an agreement be-
tween this government and that OF Great
Britain; and IL such an agreement be
reached it is likely to add something to
Englands East Indian problem.
Then, again, there are already one or
two court decisions to the effect that the
Hindoos are of Aryan stock, the stock
from which the Anglo-Saxon race sprang
and as such are entitled 70 naturalization.
The Supreme Court OF the United States
has not yet passed on this question.
which. it will be seen. involves some nice
points in ethnology and decision OF which
may be momentous. With the awaken
| ing of the far East since the Russo
japanese war the natives Of india have
learned that there are other things to do
besides TO live humbly in discomfort, and
agents and agitators throng the country.
/ preaching sedition and urging emigra-
ton There are uncounted millions of
Hlndoos who. If they were sure Of a
haven in this country. would throng here.
and II is. OF course, out OF the question
that these hordes should be allowed to
overflow the land,
| AS we said the problem is not yet an
! acute one but II threatens to become az
acute with us as II already has beoeme
In Canada. where they have found the
| large influx OF Hlndoos eminently unde-
sirabIe It is plain that some way out of
the dinoulty must be found before long.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23
A Futile scheme.

From the Chicsgo Record Herald
Il always have to quarrel with my
husband inorder to get him to buy new
suit of clothes. He never thinks he can
afford II.
Il should think he would learn after a
while that 1t is useless to try in that way
to get you 10 quit spending so much for
dress
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23
KNEW WHAT ALLIED HIM.
DaFky, Tasting Quinine, Is sure
His .sGaII Is Busted"

rum ne L9lunitdA Htatfs
In the bright sunlight on a railroad
station In Georgia slept a colored porter,
He snored gently. with his mouth ajar
and his long. moist tongue resting on his
chest like a pink plush necklace. A
Northerner climbed of train to stretch
his legs. unscrewed the top OF a capsule.
and, advancing on tiptoe, busted ten
grains of quinine on the surface Of the
darky's tongue. Presently the negro
sucked his tongue back inside his mouth,
and instantly he arose with start and
looked about him wildly.
"Mistah.' he said 10 the joker, lis you
a doctah2"
Nope"
"Well, then, kin 20 tell me whar 1 kin
fiR ME dOctah right away?"
What do you want with a dOctor?'
I'm sick
How sick?"
Powerful sick"
DO you know what's the matter with
you .
''Suttinly I knows whut de mattah with
me-mah gals busted"
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23
la Knnsns Ontrnce.

From the Marion tEsns.l Record.
IL the brute who stole over go quarts
OF canned fruit from Mrs. Albert Fox
one night last week could realize what an
outrage he had committed. he would
sneak around tonight and return the
goods But he won't do that. because
there isn't a spark OF manhood left In
the system of a fellow who will commit
that kind of a theft, II was below the
level of horse-stealing. for it robbed a
faithful mother and Woodworking wife
OF the fruit Of her labors. The thief
ought 10 be canned, and the chances are
that he VIII be. for Tom Armstrong is
hot on his trail and everybody who
reads these lines with possibly one ex-
ception. will hope that the VILLAIN will
soon be landed in the pen.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23
Inst n Guesn.

From the Detroit Free Press.
It's none of our business. of Course, but
we would like TO ask the young lady who
rode down town with US on the Wood
ward avenue car yesterday morning if
she left any perfume in the bottle for
mother, who wouldn't get time to dress
until p. m. at the earliest? It's our
guess that she drained the bottle.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23

From the Philadelphia Evening Times
Campaigns in general have little humor,
and the recent one in particular had prae-
tieally none, but one action by the So
eialists caused many a laugh at the ex-
pense OF the Republicans and Democrats.
On a neatly printed little booklet bound
in bun paper, was the wording:
What the Democratic and Republican
parties have done for the wOringman.
Enclosed In the covers we're two sheets
OF blank white paper. Evidently, com
ment was not considered necessary.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23
The silver Lining.

From the Chicago Post,
Il suppose there won't be anything on
earth at all when We lana?' says Mrs.
Noah as a wave dashes ever the ark.
Not a thing" agrees Mr.. Noah. 1T
will be fine to have a reporter for a Sun
day paper trying TO get as TO write arti-
Giles on how It feels 10 survive q food"
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23
A Distinct Triumph.

From the Chicago Recard-Herah
Your daughter looked very beautiful at
the opera last night, said Mrs. Oldcas-
tie. Il heard several people say they
thought she was the best-dressed person
in any Of the boxes
Yes" replied her hostess as she hung
her $4,000 dog collar over the back OF a
real Chippendale chair. both me and
Josiah could see that she was the sine
cure OF all eyes.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
THANKSGIVING VERsE.

November days
Are dark and murky:
Afford our lays
A rhyme for turkey.
And such a rhyme
Should be we'll needed.
About this time
tbs badly needed.
In fact, We rave
Ger rhymes for turkey.
The few we have
Are rather jerky.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23
Plenty to Do.

Ever thought of your future career?
What are YOU going TO do after you
graduate from college?"
well. I'll come back TO help coach
the baseball team IN the spring and the
football team in the fall And l may
accompany the glee club on some OF its
trips"
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23
Twas some Time Ago.

From The Boston Transcript
Apropos Of the cost of living" ex-Sen-
ator Teller recalls the days when fresh
eggs cost 50 a dozen in Colorado. That
was In the early territorial era, when a
Coloradan visiting I'm New York aston
ished an Astor House waiter by calling
for ''ulnch eggs. the term of his vicinage
for those that had not been freighted a
lOrg distance
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23
This Is Rather Unkind.

From the Madison OWisl Democrat
No longer viii the Associate Press deem
II worth while 20 keep perfectly good
man on guard at Bivalve Cove, some
times known as Oyster Bay. but latterly
as Blue Point. OF precious little popular
significance any more are the sentiments
that may be seething there.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23
Commission Habit spreads.

from the Springfield hepublicau.
The number of Indiana cities that are
seeking 10 establish the commission form
OF government IL increasing Terre
iiaute, Richmond. and Fort Wayne join
Indianapolis In agitating the question.
The next legislature will probably be
called upon TO grant authority for the
desired changes. indianapolis seems 10
be suffering from "A revulsion Of feeling
against us present mayor. The Shank
administration hasn't made good.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23
Now or Not at All.

From the New York Mail.
AS we see 1t. a Republican President.
Senate. and House will have eight weeks
after December In which to do the OBJ
vious things the country wants done
the revision OF the wool and cotton and
rubber schedules OF the tariff act, the
passage OF the cold storage and parcels
post bills. II the party fails 10 require
this work Of its representatives ar Wash
ington. II will have two years In which
70 watch a Democratic House initiate the
tasks Republicans should have done, and
get the credit they might have gained.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23
Joseph Gurney Cannon.
the Louisville Courler.Inrnal.

From the Louisville Courier-J0unal.
Mr.. Cannon gives up the Speaker
gavel and retires to the floor. where he
must be recognized" by the new Speaker
when he would make himself heard. Let
not the base pIebelan rabhle mock a
Caesar thus laid low" Mr. Cannon has
been. is now. and ever VIII be a Republic
can Of the old school, That is the sum
and the substance OF his SHINING. Can
nonism" as an issue was never anything
more than "froth, foam, and false pre-
tense, 20 employ the words IN which
Mr.. Foraker recently described insur-
gency that is not tariff insurgency.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer
In that New York taxieab strike, where
the policemen rode with the chauffeurs,
il would be interesting 10 learn how
those disorderly and regulation-defying
fare registers behaved.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23
A Timely Design.

I'VE certainly got up a timely cover
page for the Thanksgiving humble: OF
our magazine"
Didn't have the usual Thanksgiving
turkey"
mo; we had a neat design depicting
a ham sandwich
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23
No Great Dinerentiation.

From the Philadelphia Pres.
England doesn't know what to make
OF the election results in this country.
| But that is not so strange: a great many
people In this country don't know, either.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23

From the Chicago News.
I'm afraid" said the lawyer, I'VE can
not get justice in this court. l shall
move for a change of venue"
For heavens sake" cried the State
legislator, who was to undergo trial
''if you really think that. let's let well
enough alone"
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23

From EseHhodys Magazine.
York. lately returned from motor trip
through France, said that her most de-
lightfuI experience was hearing the
French pheasants singing the mayon-
naise.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23
GenfIer Football,

why don't you football players cut
out the rough work.
"AII the fun would be gone
''You aren't having any fun. If you
had played your cards right. you would
be filing match dates with Vassar by
now"
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23
GIadest Thonaht of an

From the ST. Louis Post Dispatch.
The prospect that the consumer will
shortly be able to consume something
is about the rosiest outlook upon the
national horizon.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23

From the Ohio State Journal.
There are mighty few candidates who
would want wha: is said about them in
the camDaign inscribed on their tomb
stones.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23
A sad Omission.

From the Toledo Blade.
No photographs accompany the an
nouncement that three women have been
elected TO the Colorado legislature.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23
The Thankrgiving Trip,

We're going down
To Turkeytown.
a place that all confess
Has always been
The finest in
The State of BlIssfulness.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23
4 Newer Theme.

IT don't hear Uncle Jabez talking any
more OF the cold weather of former
times"
"No; he puts IN all his tinae now talk
ing about the low prices Of ether years. "
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23

Even though they do close a lot of
get-rich-quick shops in New York, the
''one born minute" kind viii still find
some way TO lose their money,
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23

When we learn that turkeys are falling
of in price as Thanksgiving Day draws
near. we are more than ever convinced
that something is radically wrong with
our economic scheme Of things.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23
Hinher Education.

What has your boy learned at school
this season.
He has learned that he'll have TO be
vaccinated, that his eyes aren't really
mates, and that his method of breathing
is entirely obsolete
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23

Rube Waddell, the famous pitcher. is
TO become an aviator. He already knows
what 1t is for a pitcher to 90 up In the
air.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23
ProhahIv Cnrrecf.

From the Boston Globe
As we understand 1t, the New York Sun
has postponed changing its name 70 the
New Nationalist
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23

We shall all be interested TO know what
American politics looked Ike 10 the
President from the viewpoint of Panama.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23
Back with Papa.

What dutiful daughter you have.
ana how she seems 10 love her home''
YES; she was once married to duke .
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23

II is said that S6,O0OOO0 cubic yards Of
Canal VIII some one with a head for
figures kindly tell us how much that is
a cubic yard?
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23
Poe's Political Experience.

From the Omaha Bee.
1t seems that Edgar Allan Poes sue
eessful contest for election to the Hall Of
Fame was his first political experience.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23
Civic Renntincntlnn.

From the Chicago News
To help along the city beautiful. candi-
dates for office should cease TO be so
careless with their portraits.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23

II was a chilly day for Willie when the
heating apparatus in the public schools
failed 10 work.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23


There always was a strained feeling
says the secretary in his memoirs. in the
house when she was present. making Mr.
Rhodes quite uncomfortable The inde-
fatigable woman finally established a
paper at Cape Town called Greater Brit
ain, and It must be confessed that she
edited 1t brilliantly.
An amazing story is that told by the
secretary of her ingenious attempt to
delude Rhodes by a fictitious report of an
interview which she declared she had had
with Lord Salisbury before she left Lon
don. According 10 her. the then prime
minister had expressed the wish that
Mr.. Rhodes would resume the leadership
of the Cape government Her stratagem
was not successful Rhodes was skepti-
cal from the first. and he soon ascertain
ed that the interview was bogus.
Although his income amounted TO
e225,oo0 annually. his bank account as
a rule was overdrawn for about nine
months in the year, and he had 20 pay 70
the Standard Bank interest on his over
drafts as much as $500 some years
His personal habits were very simple.
Like many big men, he was shy with
women At public functions often he
was nervous and unhappy. When he went
20 oxford to get his D, c. l., at the crit
ical moment. when the degree was about
10 be conferred. he was sadly discon-
certed by a waggish undergraduate. who
called out in stentoTian voice. Don I
look so bored. Rhodes. Yet, had that
loose-tongued youth come to him next
dav for a start in life, he would have
got the best billet that Rhodes could
have procured for him.
MIR. Rhodes was great lover OF books.
His favorite was Gibbons Decline and
Fail of the Roman Empire" Like Gen.
Gordon, he also loved Marcus Aurelius.
At last NJ BRAND. prime minister OF
| France, has been termed, AFTER MS hthi
attitude had smashed the Paris railway
strike. which babe fair TO develop MO a
national calamity in France. In his days
of obscurity. when he was trying to earn
/ a livelihood as a lawyer and Journalist
his powerful and effective speaking in
| the cause of socialism swayed every one
! AS an Illustration of this one only has
! 20 note that hSdid not enter the Cham-
Der of Deputies until 1902, but that seven
years later he was premier.
NJ BRAND certainly is a strenuous
worker. Some seventeen years ago he
took part In a congress of laboring men
His presence was objected to By some
of the delegates. who argued that as
qualified solicitor he ought to be excluded
! from congress Of workingmen. I am
workingman myself. replied NJ. BRAND
"a working composition, since | myself
compose the newspaper which / publish
at ST Nazarre."
Where did you get the money ne was
asked, ITO make yourself a lawyer
by working for IT,. he replied
And "Comrade" BRAND was admitted.
FLANEUR.
! lcnnrriaht 1ain hr McCl,lre Newsraper syndicate
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23

That Virginia man who killed himself
with pair OF embroidery scissors was
probably the sort of chap who votes for
woman suffrage
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23

Charles B. Smith, editor OF the Buff
falo News, has been elected 10 Con-
gress. Which only goes 10 show to what
depths loyal newspaper man viii go
in the line OF duty
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23

The discovery OF another poet in the
Minv sofa penitentiary leads TO the dire
suspicion that maybe Minnesota puts
them there purposely.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23

The Vermont legislature is considering
law requiring all deer hunters TO dress
in red That, at least. would give the
deer a better chance
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23

It is probable that the rumors of Count
Boni de Castellane's coming marriage to
another rich American girl were only
sent out to appease his creditors.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23

With Panama Canal gates Weighing 100
tons each, it will not seem very consist
ent for us TO insist on the open door
policy in other countries
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23

Well. Richard Croker has demonstrated
that he can come back-after the cleo
ton.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23
A New Species.

From the Philadelphia Inquirer.
a Social Democrat has been elected
from Minnesota. Don't know the breed.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23

1t viii hardly do for eulogists OF Con-
gressman-elect Caleb Powers TO declare
that he has the courage OF HIS con
victions'
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23

Belle Elmore failing TO speak. Or. Grip
pen will forever hold his peace.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23

TOlstoi had the distinction of being a re-
former who practiced what he preached
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23

Mr.. Foss seems determined to dis-Lodge
the senior Senator from Massachusetts.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23

The colonel found that he could have a
corking time in washington without be-
ing President.
The Washington herald., 1910-11-23

At any rate. the consumers will continue
10 pay the freight.
The Washington times., 1910-09-07
The Vital Records.



Thomas F. and Margaret T. Sullivan,
Edward and Edna Purndham. boy
General G. and Allie E Epperley, boy
Edward II and Elsie Lewis, girl
Robert J and Mary r BUTgdOTfs boy.
Frank and Agnes stump girl
Albert r and Ethel l. SchultZe. girl
Roscoe G and Mary l. Gardiner, girl
NOnis G and CorOuilla Reed, boy
William n and Edith n Richardson,
boy
William &. and Martha E Wise, boy.
Charles z and Margaret Wilson. girl
Thomas D. and ElolSe g Harden boy
Joseph A. and Blanche A Hall girl
Edward and Mamie Meyer, girl
Edward f and Susie a ShagOr. boy
J. Theodore and Nora n AIbers, girl
Thomas 3 and Neva Ford, gil
QuiIlian ". and Hai6ee Grist, girl
Lowell and Margaret Mckinney boy
George and Annie BalGnEer, boy.
Frank A and Katie Wright, boy.
Richard and Emile Corner. boy.
Jens and Gala BugEe- girl
James g and Agnes Reeves, girl
William J. and Ida n wilson, boy
Roger and Elizabeth CUllinane, girl.
Edgar and Lille Bailey, girl
George F. and Bessie l. EnSeL girl.
Thomas and Nora O'COnnOr, boy
Thomas B and Nettie n Wright, girl
George F a1o Mary a Mcgee boy
Jacob and Rosie BeckeruGan- boy
Harry NJ and Fannie Cashell. girl
Irving II and Alice Eleanor Grey.
boy
J. Fred and Elizabeth ". Reed, girl
Harley A. and Maud WadswOrth, girl
John and Dora r Poole boy
James and Frances CUsick. girl.
Hughes and Anna Sueed. girl
Robert Z. l. ana Virginia y. Wilt
berger. boy.
The Washington times., 1910-09-07
BOOKLET IS ISSUED
ON HUNTING LAWS
Department of Agriculture
Tells Dates of Various
Seasons.

With the approach Of the hunting sea
son, the Department Of Agriculture has
issued a book outlining the game laws
Of Maryland and other states, and IN
dicatinE, for the benefit Of hunters, the
open seasons for all classes OF game
and fowl
Speaking of the Maryland laws. the
department says Maryland has three
state laws now in force The first fixes
a uniform season for wild fowl, pro-
hib1tng wild fowl shooting on Sunday.
and providing other restrictions the
second fixing bag limits, and the third
regulating shooting on the Patuxent
river
There are county laws regulating
blinds IN Anne Arundel county. fixing
seasons, regulating sale and shipment,
authorizing search, and giving county
commissioners authority to shorten or
close open seasons in Allegheny county,
protecting Inorganic birds, providing
hunting licenses. regulating training
dogs, and authorizing the appointment
OF a game warden in Baltimore county
fixing a season for rabbits and quail in
Calvert county; fixing. seasons and es-
taolishing bag limits in Cecil county.
fixing bag limits and providing for con
1iscauon Of guns in Dorchester county.
and repeating the hawk bounty IN som
erset county
Referring 10 the open seasons IN
Maryland. the department says Mon
days constitute a close season locally in
May ldud ana other week days for sew
eraI duckInE grounds Hunting Is pro
holJed on election dav In Aueghauy.
Baltimore. Cecil. Frederick. and Har-
lord counties, and on all days when
snow Is on the ground
me department comments upon the
fact that the bills providing for a resi-
dent license in force throughput tie
STATE, and providing for uniform sea
sons for counties by groups. failed 10
pass the last Maryland legislature
The Washington times., 1910-09-07
NO MORE SLEUTHS
NEEDED IN DISTRICT

Upon recommendation OF INSPECTOR r
Il BOardman. Of the Detective Bureau.
the application Of Harvey Phillips. for
permission 70 establish a private detec-
tive agency IN The District vas refused
today by the Commissioners. Inspector
Boardmsn saws in his recommendation
that there are now three licensed pri-
v-Gte detective agencies in the city
which. in his opinion more than meet
the demand fo- such service. He con
tinues-
This department can care for al
legitimate police work without expense
to our citizens; therefore, an the interest
Of good government. and the public at
large, recommend this and al similar
applications be refused"
1fr Phillips attention was called 10
the fact that there IS no law against his
prscticing as private detective in civil
cases