The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1910-04-27
SHEAR
NONSENSEG.

They've a new preserve in Boston.
THAT so?" "Yes; the subway JAM
Boston Herald.
Il started farming on capital OF
one dollar" 81 started on package
of free seeds sent me by Congress
man. louisville Courier-Journal.
Mrs. Youngwife-"What have you
ever done to prove your love for me?"
Mr.. Notwithstanding, I've con-
tracted a lovely case of chronic dys-
pepsia. Judge.
"Will your son take full college
course?" mo, not quite. He will have
baseball, football and track athletics,
but he fears there won't be time for
basketball. ."-Cleveland Leader
Muggins-"That boy Of yours seems
to be hustler. He's never idle"
Buggins-"I guess that's right. When
he hasn't anything else to do he eats
something. g."-Philadelphia Record.
Miss Highbrow-"Everybody's af
fected by environment, don't you
think?" Mrs. Lowbrow-'T am,
am, know That's the reason I never
touch the stuff."-Clevelan Leader.
"iShe says the average poet is an un-
kempt hungry-looking individual. ."
THAT so?" Yes, don't it make you
angry? You are a poet" "But, my
dear fellow, / am not an average
poet. Houston Post.
whats that prima donna angry
aboutW "Oh, some well-meaning crit
ic said she sang like a siren. The
only siren she knows anything about
is the whistle they use on a steam
boat, t,'-Washington Star.
II saw that member of the Legisla-
ture taking notes." said the observant
statesman. VERY foolish of him." re-
piled the constituencies schemer. 1T
isn't safe to handle anything except
cash. Washing Star.
"The boy who stood on the burning
deck was a brave lad" Yes" replied
the school teacher; "he doesn't ap-
pear to have been nearly SO scared as
some of the boys who have since been
called on to recite about him. Wash
ington Star.
Griggs-"You talk a lot, Briggs;
now what have you got against mar
ried life?" Briggs-"What have got
against 1t? Why, may, take this ter
rible divorce evil; it flourishes
amongst married people exclusively"
Boston Transcript
please shake your head, Mr.. Pike
said the young lady's small brother.
"All right, Tommy. Now, what did
you want me to shake my head for?"
Pa said you was rattle-brained
idiot, but | didn't hear nothin' rattle,
did you?"-Birmlngham Age-Herald.
Have you ever tried a fireless
cooker?" Yes. We've had one for six
months. My wife has tried to fire
her, and I've told her to go, but she
simply ignores our requests, and says
she'll scratch the eyes out OF any 9TH
Si Shi VIC udic W DIiuS lHtU lHe
kitchen. ."-Chicago Record-Herald.
Telegraph Operator-"The chap who
just went out wanted to pay me IS
cents for a 25-cent message UiIice
Manager-"Who Is he? Pittsburgh
millionaire?" Telegraph Operator
mo; he's poet, and he counted the
syllables instead OF the Words.
Judge.
His Mamma-"I don't know what to
do with Willie. He wants to be a
newspaper man, but he has no talent
for writing" His Uncle-"That's all
right. Buy him copy of Joe Millers
Ioke Book ard list of the United
States Senators, and we'll get him a
job as Washington correspondent" "
Puck.
Brother Effaw-"How am yo' son
gittin along in his new job as a Pull
man rotah?" Brother Smoot-"Fine,
sab! Dat boy kin make few passes
and put mo- dust on pusson dan he
brushes of, and it didn't take him two
weeks to learn to slam a do in de
way dat nobody but railroad man
kin slam it. Yassah, Cla'ence is $40
doin' elegant Puck.
Nf