The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1910-09-21
HIS AUNTlE JULIA.
She Is Really a Wonderful Woman
In Her Own Way.
A GREAT HAND WITH YARBS.

is Better Than Doctors Visit.
How She Made Old Puisifer Jump.
MY Aunt Julia Is really q wonder
ful woman" exclaimed the low browed
man. placing his feet on the managers
desk. "Sho hasn't any diplomas from
medical colleges, but when 1t comes to
curing q sick man she can give the
ordinary doctor q start Of ten years
and beat him around q block. Aunt
Julia has arm faith in yarbs"-
You meau herbs" interrupted the
professor.
II don't mean anything Of tho kind
I mean YARDS. You go over to Aunt
Julia and mention YARDS, and her eyes
VIII brighten up and she'll ask you to
sit down and eat a piece Of pie, but
II you began talking about herbs she'd
paste you one with her trusty sauce
pan and knock OF q corner Of your
scalp. Aunt Julia IN pretty touchy
about some things.
"One day old Mrs. Dooiittle blew
into the house to spend the afternoon.
and Aunt Julia happened to say that
something happened In Aprfle. Mrs.
Doolittle thinks she knows more than
Webster's unaduiterated dictionary be-
cause she taught school about 80
years ago. when she was q young wo-
man. and she called my aunt down and
said that there was no such word as
Aprtle.
"'You mean April. my dear says
she.
~ don't mean any such doggone
thing says my aunt 4 mean Aprile.
and II you don't like It, Mrs. Doolittle
you can lump It. and be blamed to
you
"Weli, they famed away for five
minutes or 30. and their language be-
gan to make the shingles fall OF the
roof. and l was thinking of sending In
hurry call for the cops. when Mrs.
Doolittle left the house by way Of the
window and jumped three fences with.
out touching them In her haste to get
home. A lot of saucepans and other
household utensils whizzed past her
ears and seemed to stimulate her.
THAT'S the sort of woman Aunt
Julia is. Now. II you want to 90 over
and talk to her about herbs | won't
interfere.
IF there's anything my aunt delights
In 1t Is doctoring people. She hasn't
a bit Of use for drug store medicines
She brews her own remedies, and she
doesn't think anything will help q
sick person unless 1t tastes like the
royal palace Of Abyssinia. A dose of
her collie medicine Will make q mans
insides feel as though he had swaI.
lowed porcupine.
IL had the collie last summer. and the
medicine she made for me had smoke
on 1t. ! can taste 1t yet. Sometimes
dream that Aunt Julia Is handing me
a spoonful Of her collie medicine, and
then ! always wake with q yell. She
Ii an old fashioned woman. She gath
ers her YARDS at certain stages Of the
moon. and when she Is brewing her
medicines she mutters incantations
and makes passes with her hands and
does lot Of tricks that make your
blood run cold. But her remedies hit
the spot
"Old man Pulsifer. you know, was
q hopeless invalid for q year. He sat
In wheeled chair. and bis wife fed
him with the fire shovel. and all the
members Of the family were kept so
busy waiting on him that they hadn't
time TO wind the clock or prime the
pump He said be had paralysis Of
the worst kind. and everybody believed
him. Aunt Julia went over there one
day and looked at the old mans tongue
and poked him In the ribs and tapped
him with tuning fork and said she
could cure him up SO quick it would
make his head swim
IF you can cure that man so he'll
be OF some use In the world said Mrs.
Pusifer. I'll give you the silk crazy
quilt my grandmother gave me when
she was dying
Aunt Julia gathered q lot of YARDS
at the dark OF the moon in the south
east corner of graveyard and stewed
tnem over slow hre, and the broth
she made from them would have warp
ed the arInor plate of q battleship.
knew by the smell Of 1t that 1t was
the real stingo, and you can't imagine
how glad was that l didn't have to
take 1t. When she went over to dope
old Pulsifer she insisted on my going
along to help hold him down.
"The old man didn't want TO take It.
Anybody could see that. He got a
smell Of the stun when Aunt Julia
took the cork from the bottle, and a
pale green sweat broke out on bis
brow. But | seized him by the top Of
his head and pulled his mouth open.
and my aunt poured down about forty
kiIometers Of her redhot dope. and
when 1t had sizzled into his stomach
he let out one warwhoop and streaked
out Of doors like professional Mara
thon runner. When we found him q