davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
A Frank Estimate.

To many persons who are not actors
the stage seems a delightful and las
cinating place. In book called The
Actress" Louise Closer Hale, her
self an actress, tells soTe of her ex.
periences with girls who envy her
profession. One dny one OF them.
from behind a counter 4 a shop, 'iJ
81 should have went on tae stage"
"She evidently wanted TO talk, and
l strove to be interested" says Miss
Hale.
But see how tired am," said to
her. Il have to work very hard as +
Is, and l had to work much harder to
gain what little recognition | hav"
had"
"Oh, yes" she responded. conf Ia
Gently gazing at herself in O Tirro'
"But, you see. have talent"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
A Deal in Timber.

A timber merchant was sitting 81
his office one day musing sadly o-e
the general depression in the woo
trade, when a quiet looking yo-n
man entered.
do you sell beechwood?" asked n
stranger.
"Yes, sir" replied the me-chant
rising with alacrity and hoping dc
voutly to book a large order. "JN.
can supply any quantity on the shori
est notice, either in the log or IN
plank"
"Oh, don't want so much as that,
said the youth, shifting his feet un
easily. 81 Just want a bit for a fddl'
bridge"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04

The theatre is the creation of the
ancient Greeks. The drama, in the
true sense OF the word, was born a
Athens Immediately af,er the great
victory over the Persians. B. {. 500
4S0. The famous Dionysiae .Theal. 2
at Athens was completed about B. G..
$40. Rome was never much on the
theatre. In Rome there was far too
much real tragedy every day, SO that
the people had no occasion TO mimic
it on the stage. 1t was as late as b..
C. 154 when the first permanent pay
nouse was erected in Rome by Lassi-
US. Even as late as B. c. SO Pompsy
had all he could do 10 maze the the
atre popular in the Eternal City.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
AeReep wlTH rHE couNr.
Judge Relates Good story About a
Famous Raekwoods Character.

Judge Relates a Good story About a
Famous 5aclSwoods Character.
A supreme court Judge tells this
story about famous character
around the minor courts. Tall, gaunt
and gawky, he had a fund Of ready
Irish wit and a dignity of presence
and carriage which. combined with a
booming bass voice, was humorous in
itself. All the judges knew him and
were lenient with his infractions Of
court rules.
The character. who was lawyer Of
the shyster class. was defending a
case in court one day before justice
who was particularly fond of him. He
went to luncheon with his client.
When court resumed after luncheon II
was evident that he had enjoyed his
midday meal. Realizing the situation
the justice leaned over and said:
This case is postponed until to-
morrow. The counsel for the defense
is in no condition to proceed with it."
The lawyer rose to his feet unstead-
lily and gazed earnestly at the court.
Then his deep voice doomed out;
"Your honor, / have known you, man,
boy and child, for thirty years-on
the binch and of the binch-and II is
the first time in all these years have
known you to make a rulin' accord
ance with the facts"
Then he sat down.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
Wanted the stino.

The students of an eastern college
grew so reckless in their behavior
that the professor one morning
chapel thought to reprove their con.
duct by a lecture on morality. They
listened with due submission and HI.
mility. In the course of his lecture
he said:
"My young friends, the floors of he'll
are paved with champagne. automo-
biles and chorus girls" He was horri-
fed to hear one of the students say il
a sepulchral tone:
"Oh. death, where is thy sting?"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
APPROPRIATE MUSIC.
A Tune that Is Suitable for Any ant
All.

A Tune that Is Suitable for Any and
All.
For a Restaurant-"When the Swal.
lows Homeward Fly"
For an Arctic Explorer.-"Farewell,
Summer"
For a Defaulting Bank Ohicial.-"It
May Be Four Years"
For the W. c. T. U.-"Drink to Me
Only With Thine Eyes"
For an Irish Strike the
Harp Gently"
For the Real Estate Promoter
There's No Place Like Home"
For the Ballet Girl.-"Arise, My Soc"
For the Wright Brothers.-"Flee AS
Bird"
For Ikenstein.- Jewel Song"
For the Mili.ner. Trust Her Not"
For the Critics. The Anvil Chorus.
For the Stock EIchange.-"You Never
Mss the Ws.er."
For the Boston Cirl.-"Whore Have
You Bean. Ny Pretty Maid?"
For Luther Burbank.-"The Praties.
They We're Small over There"
For Most of Us.-"If l Had But Ten
Thousand a Year"
For Anthony Comstock.-"How Can I
Bare to Leave Thee?"
For the Perpetual Candidate.-"Silver
Threads Among the Gold"
For the Baker.-"Roll, Jordan, Roll"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
rraat fnr the nnninr.

A Philadelphia, who has since
then fortunately regained his health,
was last year the subject of an ex-
tended examination by specialists.
The examination seems to have
delighted DR.. Blank" said the patient
to one Of the doctors. when they were
alone for moment. 'for have mo-
ticed that his eyes are positively
beaming. assume. then. that my
case is not a grave one"
WELL" hesitated the physician ad-
dressed. 81 hardly feel Justified in
saying that. But understand from
Or. Blank that he is going to perform
a number Of interesting operations on
you"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
PLENTY OF HIM.
Ruso That Enshled the Parson to ee'
. Good sleep.


. Good sleep.
Rev. Daniel Isaacs once slighted
an inn to stay the night On asking
for a bed he was told he could no
have one, as there was to be bali
that evening, and all the beds were
engaged
AT what time does the ball break
up?" asked Mr.. Isaacs.
About in the morning, sir"
"Well, then can have bed until
that timer"
yes, certainly; but II the bed is
asked for you will have to remove.
Very WE'LL" replied Mr.. Isaacs. and
away he went to get between the
sheets.
About in the morning he was awak
ened by loud knocking at his cham
Der door.
What do you want?" he asked.
How many are there of you In
the ret" inquired a voice.
There's me, and Daniel, and Mr.
Isaacs, and an old Methodist preach
er." was the reply.
Then there's plenty Of you" AND
the speaker passed on. leaving Mr
isaacs to enjoy his bed.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
Would Jar Anvhodv.

John Parker, the town marshall oI
Eerrisonvlle. Kan. AYERS that he
overheard the following conversation
between two little girls who are not
yet cid enough to 90 to school. "What
makes a horse act naughty when he
sees an auto?" one asked. Its this
wav," replied the other: Horses is
used 10 seem other horses pullin' rigs
and they don't know what to think o.
EN- goin along without a horse.
guess if you was to see a pair of pant:
wal,Iin' down the street without {
man in 'em you'd be scared. too"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04

The Chinese are curious fo!I. An
educated Chinaman Will take delight
n using in conversation with West
ern barbarian the iiective which is
Used only to qualify animals, though
1nly his Interpreter will discover the
insult OF which the person ior whoa
it is intended remains supremely isno-
rant.
A China boy" will enter your pres.
ance with his pigtail rolled round his
lead-a most intolerable rudeuess
he thinks the new arrival does not
understand the insult intended
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
vsn.tarlans In nlsnnta.

English vegetarians are awfully
sore on the Japs for proving traitors
to their old vegetarian mode of liy-
ing, and are predicting endless calam-
ity. even ruin, saying; when rice
eating peoples take up meat the re-
suit is always disastrous to their
health" Japs know what to eat, and
are too wise to listen to any British
advice intended to weaken them as
warriors.-New York Press.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
aIA1IaMANs pLEA
Members from ehellbaek Tells Why
His sUu Should Be Passed.

Hie Blu ehoeld Sc PASSED.
"Er-H'm-Mister Speaker" be
gan the moss-grown member from
shellback County, rising in his place
in the midst of the Arkansas Legisla-
ture, Il ask for the passage Of this
yere hen-hawk bill o. mine In the In
terests Of religion, good morals and
civilization.
eff we don't have a law payin' q
bounty for killin' 'em, nobody win kill
her-hawks; II nobody kills the hawke
TIE fetch-taked hawks will kill the
chickens: II we don't have no chick
ems we won't have no preachers after
a little while, and whur there amt no
preachers there amt no religion, and
whur there amt no religion there Amt
no morals; without good morals there
alnt no happy homes. and happy
homes IL the bully-works Of the State
without 'em. Mr.. Speaker, our boast
ed civilization becomes a bowling viii
derness. For the preservation Of civ
ilisahon we've got to have happy
homes ln our midst, and in order q
have 'em we've got to have good NOR
ais, good morals depend upon religion
and to have religion We must have
preachers, and It pears like preachers
have just naturally got to have chick
ena: IL we want 'em to have chickens
we must slay of the hawks, and II
order to git the hawks slew we arr
fo'eed to make It to the interest O
somebody to kill 'em. No bounty. NJ
chickens; no chickens. no preachers
no preachers, no religion; no religion
nor morals; no morals, no homes
Therefore. / ag'in ask that this YER
bill o. mine be passed"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
rhres Texas aIlnhtwads.g

It is said that three of the stingiest
men in the State were in town yester-
day. One of them will not drink as
much wafer as he wants unless 1t is
from another mans well. The sec
ond forbids any of his family from
writing anything but small hand" I"
as it is a waste of ink to make large
letters. The third stops his clock at
night in order to save wear and tear
on the machinery. All OF them de-
cline to take their county paper, on
he ground that it is a terrible strain
m their spectaeles to read newspapers
even in the daytime.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
Too Much Ike Work.

The happy mother OF a seven
months-old baby, whose chief business
seems to be making a noise in the
world, was paying her sister a visit.
and the other evening young Master
Harry, aged seven years, was dele
gated to care for the baby while his
elders were at dinner. So he wheel
ed it back and forth, forth and back
the length of the library, giving ven
0 his sentiments by singing. much to
ne amusement Of the family;
Gee whizl I'm glad I'm free,
40 wedding be,,s for me-"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
Mhlt. anr.e of kllhurn-

The biggest artificial horse in the
world is the famous white horse OF
Kilburn, England. which was formed
sifty years ago by native of Kilburn.
who cut away the turf In the correct
form and covered 1t with limestone.
The whole occupies about two acres
OF ground and may be seen twenty
miles away. II is said that twenty
persons can sit 90 the eye" Of tas
horse. ...---
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
The DUN cnurtenns.

A Michigan implement dealer, rath'
er tardy in paying up. received the
following letter from a wholesale
house:
"Our cashier fell unconscious at his
desk this morning. Up to this time
p. m, we have been unable to get
a word out of him except your name
May we say to him, with vie to his
immediate recovery, that we have
your check, as we think that is what
is on his mind?"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
A Western soIon.

Prosecuting Attorney Frozen Dog)
Your Honor. the sheriff's bull pup
has gone and chawed up the court
Biblel
Judge-Well. make the witness kiss
the bull pup. thenl We can't adjourn
court for a week just to hunt up a new
Bible!
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
Clerical Rspartse.

A prominent rabbi Of Pittsburg met
recently at dinner a priest whom he
had known intimately years before.
During the meal the conversation took
. bantering turn, and the father, turn
ing to the rabbi. inquired:
my friend. when are you going to
begin eating pork7"
Instantly the rabbi replied. "At
your wedding, SIR"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
Price Of onnnrtunltv-

Town Marshall-Ye can't git drink
under any circumstances in this
town.
Stranger lfngering a roll Of bills)-
3 Then suppose I'll have to give Il up.
Town Marshal Towering Voieel-
Well, say-Pl make the circumstances
two dollars. just to accommodate ye.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
Fire losses in New York.

AS 10 fire losses in New York city,
It may be said that they amoGnt an
nually to about $5.OO0,O0O, which does
not include expense to the city of
some 800 600 false alarms. Since 1883
the loss from fire in the city aggre-
gated S13O,OO0,OO0, This total repre-
sents 1886 fires; or 1900 fres a
year. or 10 a day. or one in every two
hours.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04

Knox-There goes young De Short
IN Jay Greene's automobile.
CroX-Why. thought De Short
owned IT, He told me not an hour ago
that he had put all his money into H.
Knox-Well. he probably told the
truth. He bought so cents worth OF
gasoline.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
Parlsian aslnnina ARG. .

The singing arc has been so far
perfected that it is made use Of as an
advertisement feature Of Paris shop.
The lamp hangs in front OF the store
and at all times during the day and
night there is a continual concert OF
musical features interspersed with
vocal references TO the virtues Of the
articles to be found on sale within
the store
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
coIIapsIbIs Tub.

The thing most desired by young
mothers these days is bathtub for
the baby made Of sheet rubber that
is attached to campstool foundation.
1t can be folded up and put out Of the
way when not in use. and 1t telescopes
into small bundle when one wants
70 travel.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
gspanopo4opolo4oaopopopOee

Physicians have long been looking
for harmless headache cure. 1t
has been produced by An eminent
chemist of the National Capital. 1t
is knovn as BRoMo-PEPsIN. Besides
curing every form of headache
instantly, Bromo Pepsin is equally
and as promptly eficacious in
chronic and acute Indigestion and
the nervous disorders incident there
o. 1t is efferescent and pleasant
to take and may be had of all mp tc
date druggists at ten cents a bottle.
IL comes as boon to mankind anC
womankind. For sale at e. o..
Armstrong, Druggist.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
unels sam with III. Best.

Uncle Sam is deeply interested IN
aacertaining the size Of the earth over
which he has stretched out his mighty
hand. so he pays annually. through
the American embassy At Berlin. his
quota as an adhering member Of the
International Geodetie association 81.
900 for the measurement Of the earth.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
MIN al. Enns.snramhI.d.

A traveller in the dining car OF a
Georgia railroad had ordered fried
aggs for breakfast. Cant give you
'ried eggs, boss" the negro waiter in
formed him, lessen you wait until we
stop" "Why. how is that?" Well
lie cook. he says de. roads so rough
dat ovey time he tries to fry aigs dey
scrambles."
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
Cooked In .aulekllme.

Occasionally the English railway
section hand cooks a rabbit without
the aid OF a hre. All he does is to
cover It with thick crust OF clay and
immerse 1t in quicklime. In about 20
minutes he takes it out. cracks the
clay (which has baked hardl. and In
side is his meal done to a turn.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
rrIbuts 70 ereat churehmnn.

The magnificent memorial church,
being erected in Birmingham. Eng
land. through the generous contribu-
tions OF worldwide admirers OF tho
late John Henry Newman. is nearing
completion. It has been built outside
the old oratory. so dear to the heart
OF the cardinal.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
rn Radnna iha Ahdomen.

In standing position, clasp the hands
over the abdomen. Contract the mus
cles Of the abdomen and bend at the
hips SIX times, keeping the muscles
we'll contracted throughout the bend
ing. Rest by taking three. deep
breaths between each exercise.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
Mlcdom of Ernsrlsnne.

Rastus-Ah done proposed t Liza
Coon erbout a yeah fore yo married
her.
Mose-Am dat so?
Rastus-Yassah; an An had ma
-at5ets food on ma pusson at de time,
but she done turn meh down.
Nose (sighingl-Yo' all shore wuz
lucky In hayin' dat rabbit foot wid
30, .--. ------.-
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
Y. M. c. A. In oermanY and Amerlea.

Y. M. C. A. in Germany and America.
There are 1890 Young Mems Chris
ton associations in Germany only
1889 in America; yet, where the Ger.
man associations have but 117O01
members. the American have 10000.
And German association propert .
holdings have a value Of $2.4OO0CO
contrasted with a value OF $4,000 900
In America.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04

Nervous Lady-Don't your expert.
ments frighten you terribly pro.es.
sor? / hear that your assistant met
with a horrible death by falling four
thousand feet from an aeroplane.
Aviator-Oh, that report was great
II exaggerated.
Nervous Lady-Exaggera Howl
Aviator-It wasn't much more than
two thousand five hundred feet that
he fell.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04

The Commissioners Of Pike County
will hereafter hold Regular Meetings
the lst Thursday Of each mo. between
the hours of a. IN and p. IN. except
ing IN the months when Court may
be in session, and then during Court
THEO. IL. BAKER
Comm,ssi 'ners Clerk
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
How 20 Insa snm. Gun.

The girl who marries the first fel-
low she falls in love with" replied
the observer of events and things,
misses a whole lot of fun"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04

First Sweet Young Thing-What
are you doing here. dear?
Second Sweet Young Thing--Look-
'ng for a husband.
First Sweet Young Thing-But you
have got one.
Second Sweet Young Thing-That's
he one I'm looking for.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04

II a man wishes to be treated with
courtesy he should show courtesy to
others.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
Fortunately.

There Is a lot Of virtue that is just
from force Of habit.-NsW York
Press.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
William 3. KenwOithey N. D
Physician and Su reOn.
Offioe and residence Broad Street
ieIt Court House. MILFoED.
For Rent

Furnished room to rent. Enquire
of Mrs Eta Poillon, Corner Broad
and Ann Streets, Milford, Pa.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
.EIxxl~, 81
ERIE RI LROAU )
ct
PORT JERVIS

Solid Pullman trains TO Buffalo Mag
ara Falle, Chautauqua Lake. Cleveland
Chicago and Cincinnati.
Tickets on sale at Port Je alt
points in the West and Southwest At lower
rates than via any other flrst-clsss line.
In effect June 2lth, 1908.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
Helpful
Beauty Hints
-

Many Valuable Notes on the
Treatment to the Hair and
sealp-To Reduce the Abdomen
Chicago Venus Loveliess
Woman.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-03-04
WANTS suPPLIEDII

Ifyou want note heads, bill heads, lette
heads, statements show cards. progra ms
large posters, sale bills, dodger' envelopes
tags business cards or job printing
every description, done uD in the best styl
foI you in an up-to-date md artistic nun
ner calland see US. PricesY
THE PRESS PRINT.
Decorah-posten og ved arnen., 1910-09-02

Soaue. S~rsrbbieu,ss co andre S.'roe |
Toree. Ser bar omireut ale Iaturs
~bctiuseIicr tiIiteSe for flooifiuseu al ct
m9etiet %oeersSoIt. Ger miISt -
sos life e~nsrpsrenpe = Geirlag. rig
Serb. gIpe o. Siser bret az Sif. S,us
Gen Der itraiis ZIG nGiten belt nso til
@anoet primIct al gilot. msSens Be ines
s9fte climber | bet iierHe peruet MOB
poIsfonr. geir iaapeIiom mob i~Iseitneeoc
gaboitamnier. Set ibues SeriJr icm
pm Sisie S~ansfaber | taIrise ~aartuiener
bar tent iom arneiteS for Gpioitrineen
al ct / iGrseeu 9rab "uSodIet~ Soil. oct
iruetbareitc. iraftieite, mooisite % met
fribeSselferee SoItsfnro Tom TOR Sore
bietiI bar ircmbrast. - arisrnes Sug.
&c - 8drueiammerct for ct SoI.eiGrS
Der M iaienncm fine 9ftsriommcre /
girers % @eiterIeS irprcr Iationerut op
ierer an | auIturfampeu ooer Den dele
Soro. amanors Rorman.
Sauifa ,Yrnr.
Decorah-posten og ved arnen., 1910-09-02
torretninssnotiier.
SiI Sialp for 5armerne.

Ser bar en- 9io, oa Habritdnter az
Tarnmdifiner life urnagese iip meeet
for at oplbie Sarmsrne ON, bnoroau
Raifinerne beSit fluhe onnenoes, net
2otaIaserterne ofte lie iunee eioe tiIs
frsbsitiuenbe Sbar pua be SoreipergNer,
iom tinSe aieres. % bet blep | mango
SiIi1ISe ct Experiment ira Sarmereus
SIDE. Bette rGbnes iun iom ct 9rems
pei pda, bpilfet Srerifriot Der or siort
/ De iiSite aar, t6i International Oar
better Company Of 9nerica bar M OPP
rcttet en- easn aioeIin9 - ct inntalot
Serpice guredu - hoor Der gioes Sps
lrsnineer, life nIere ON be ioriiislige
glaIfiner, iom bette 6irma iabri.erer.
men ON inartiast enlper Siue, Der ans
eGar 2arSbrus. International Saroes
tier Go. bar sanei iad ~omffrnSeIis tils
pGrfs, at Here fprsise RrnS sr a%nIatte
| bette SepGrtemert - Ye9nb, ser bar
ojort BET til ct 2ipsmaaI at ituoere
ager5rus. Srustabl, TeisriSrift o.i.p..
o. sesuben bill bette 9epartcmsnt o.
eisie RGnS itna / sire,te SorbinSelie
mee 8eeierinesns Observation-Disclosures
iaa lfbbpttet fra hisie itaoie fan ubttiss
aisres. GO fra bette Separtsmsnt fan
Sarmere og andre nit srboIbs ane be
Cplhsninser. Tom Sc niaatte suife =
CpIpsninaer ont bpno be forFieuiss
SorSarter bsSit esuer is for. ON @isos
n~ins5ifoffe. ON gereIsprfuirs. ON sIis
m~atforboIee, iunitie Gambling o.i.p. 90
life moi bermsb. Rrpnte aorporation
bar osiaa eiort SoranitaIininser til. al
Der paa gountbuSiiaineer. 6armers
S~niniute os slsrs boIoes Goresras on,
Bette eaer bint sema. Der err af amen
Suicresie for Sarmerne. oe sisi Sores
Sraa nil iluitreres psn epsbineeer. 99r.
mere C%pIpsniHeer erlcISes oee at ill.
Tribe /. H. c. Servise Bureau. Sniers
national 2arpeitsr Co. Gbieaao,