davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28
A DOUBTFUL REBUKE.
The Little Quakeress VaifantIy Up
braided Her Rfotous Neiuhbor

The Little Quakeress NalfantIy Up
braided Her Riotous Neighbor.
In certain little New England viii
lage in the population of which Qua
kers were lsng predominant, their in
fiuence kept the Fourth of July safe
and sane" for many years before the
present movement to that end was in.
augurated. But new people brought
new ways, and the Fourth grew noisier
| and noisier
Little Lucy, brought up in the home
of her Quaker grandparents, heard, as
the day approached, much condemna-
tory talk of the violent and dangerous
manner in which the worlds people"
were won't to celebrate.
She was shy, odd, quiet child, and
when, on the eventful morning, she
was missed just as the racket began,
the first thought of her elders was that
she had been frightened into hiding.
But at noon she appeared, running in
from the long terraced garden, her
hair blowing, her eyes bright her little
face radiant
Where has thee been. child?" asked
her grandmother. we were becoming
troubled about thee
Thee needn't have worried. grand
mother" was the confident reply Il
haven't been outside the garden, and
have been quiet and orderly, AS thee
told me, and l have borne witness
against unseemly tumult besides. Hen
ry Smiths garden runs back to ours,
thee knows and he has been behaving
rictously all the morning, and l have
been sitting on a fence post, watching
him riot
Il told him when he began, Henry,
thee ought to be ashamed" And every
time he set off a cracker | said, %
Henry And when he fired a pistol
l told him weapons were wicked But
he kept right on rioting, and this aft
ernoon he is going TO riot some more
and ! have promised to sit on the post
and rebuke HIM again"
A dismayed grandmother discerning
the spirit beneath the letter Of rebuke.
forbade; and Henry was deprived of
his audience
Boys are, Of course, the chief pro
motors and victims of our too explo-
siye Fourth. but the innate instinct for
eXplosiveness is not theirs alone. II
was an angelic blue-eyed cherub of a
tiny girl who. at the close of the first
celebration she was old enough to
share, when the last torpedo vas ex
ploded, the last cartridge fired, the last
tirework set off, on the glorious day,
looked eagerly upward, still quivering
with excitement, and cried aloud 10 the
silver orb, floating in the heavens like
one more beautiful balloon:
20 ncon, Doon--bust,"
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28

The monster looked at her searclringly.
Il don't believe you." he said roughly.
you like money
Meaning that l am fortune-hunt-
err. she cried with flaming cheeks. and
@lthdreY her hand hHrriedly from his
arm. She clenched her fists and turned
20 go. lie made an eager step forward.
70 eVade MN, Mllilcent stepped to one
side. and fell into the pond.
W hen she recovered her senses. she was
lying on the dry, warm turf of the lawn.
ana the moon was looking astonished
over the treetops at the man who was
kissing her, and holding her to his breast
Mlllicent opened her eyes.
on, said Millicent. who looked wet
as river nymph. PAUL" Was it
Paiu! The hump was gone-it had dis
appeared with the coat and waistcoat.
"Oh. cried Millicent again. Paul,
Paul where is Matthew z"
Gone into the land of dream and ia
pie, sald the voice of Matthew joyous
Is. cant You understand, darlingT'
Millicent could not, being still bewild-
cred by the accident. and by this surpris-
ing discovery. Il want Matthew" she
said piteously. The man rose from his
knees, and ran toward the heap OF
clothes on the bank. In two minutes he
returned hmping on his crutch. hump.
spectacles, beard. wig, and all, and spoke
in the old aggressive manner she knew
so well. We'll, Miss Glynn? Have you
been taking moonlight swim and giving
Apollo the trouble of pulling you out =
He knelt down beside her. You'll have
to marry Apollo now, Miss Glynn.''
Are You Apollo?' she asked in u
dazed fashion.
mo. | am the beast. | am Cali
ban, and you-you-my dear" he took
her wet hand, you must forgive my de
ception. | wanted to meet a woman
who would marry me for the soul you
spoke of, and not because l was rich and
passably comedy That is why | took
Adderly Hall. where no one but Mrs
Trench knew that | was both Matthew
and Paul.
'You may be too good, she rejoined.
And If | marry yOu--'
You wili-you really will?'
IN marry Matthew"
Here he is-at your feet
"And Paul also!''
But | don't want to marry either. =
said Alillicent, rising. tall and straight
and as damp as a river goddess should
be.
'.NIillicent.' cried the masquerader
and there was "A note of deep pain in his
voice.
She took one step forward and threw
her arms around his neck. "You silly
boy she whispered Il will marry your
soul. What does it matter if YOU are
handsome Paul or hunchback Matthew.
1t is your soul that has drawn me to
your arms. This marriage
is made in heaven" finished Paul
Matthew toset, kissing her. ''Oh.
beauty, / was a beast Fergus Hume
in Cassells Journal
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28
HER WEIGHT INCREASED
FROM 100 TO i4O POUNDS
Wonderful Praise Accorded
Peruna the Household Remedy

Mrs. Maria Goertz, orienta, Okla.
homa, writes:
"My husband, children and myself
have used your medicines, and we al
ways keep them in the house in case of
necessity. I was restored to healthov
this medicine, and DIR. Hartman's in.
valuable advice and books. People ask
about me from different places, and ara
surprised that can do all of my house
work alone, and that was cured bv the
doctor of chronic catarrh. My husband
was cured of asthma, my daughter Of
earache and catarrh of the stomach, ard
my son of catarrh of the throat. When
1 was sick weighed 100 pounds; nowI
weigh 40.
81 have regained my health again, and
1 cannot thank you enough for your
advice. May God give you long life
and bless your work"
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28
DRIVING AN ELEPHANT.


THE dog IS mans companion the
elephant is his slave, writes Sir Sam
uel w Baker in wild Beasts and
Their Ways The dog shares with
his master the delight of hunting, and
defends him from an enemy's attack;
but an enemy might Kill an elephants
mahout. and he huge beast would not
interfere to save him TIE never vol
unteers his services, although he can
be trained TO do certain acts, for he
has wonderful capacity for learning
But he will not do them unless he is
ordered to by his mahout, to whose
guidance he submits. because ne knows
that disobedience will bring punish
ment
The mahout, sitting Oh the elephants
neck, governs the animal by an iron
hook and spike, which resembles a
boat-hook, and weighs from four to
six pounds The mahout drives the
elephant by digging the point of the
spike into it's head, and pulls him back
by inserting the hook In the tender
base OF the ears. Without the hook
the elephant is like the donkey with
out the stick. He obeys not from af-
lection. but because he knows that he
will be punished if he disobeys
An elephant whose mahout rules him
responds to the secret signs of his
driver. The gentle pressure of the
mahout's toe, the compression of his
knee. the delicate touch of his heel,
or the slightest sweying. of his body
to one side, guides the mighty beast
as ship is guided by an almost i'm
perceptible movement of the rudder
But the mahout must himself be cool
and free from all nervousness if he
expects the elephant to obey him.
Illustrating the fact that a poor
driver makes a disobedient elephant,
Sir Samuel says that man may sit
a horse gracefully, but if he has not
the gift of good hand" there will
be little comfort for the animal and
no ease for the rider A rider with
a bad hand makes that fact known
TO the horse almost as soon as he seats
himself in the saddle. The result is
that the horse becomes nervous. and
does not perceive what his master
wishes him to do.
The elephant Is not bitted and there
fore is not disturbed by bad hand"
But if the mahout is nervous. or hest
tates, or yacillates, he will be sure to
have bad knee or bad toe" His
mood will influence his muscles, and
the elephant feels that the mahout
does not exactly know what he is
about. Instead of obeying instantly
the pressure Of knee or toe, the animal
vacillates, swings his head, becomes
unsteady. and If engaged in hunting
or seeming tiger, turns round and
runs away-made coward by his ma
bouts nervousness.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28
INITIATIVE IMPULSE"
Explanation of the Holiday Epidemic &C
Shoplifting


What makes so many women shoplift-
ers during the Christmas season? The
answer TO this question has been figured
out in the psychological department at
Harvard university, and Prof. Hugo
MuenSterberg asserts that it is the Imi-
tative Impulse supposed to work with
extra vigor during Yuletide.
Prof. +. Il. Holt, also of Harvard,
adds to Prof. Muensterberg's explana-
ton the assertion that women have a
duIler moral perception than men," and
are therefore less likely to restrain the
"Imitative Impulse" when it leads to-
ward the sequestrating of Christmas
gifts.
The exceptional numbere of women
taken 10 court from department stores
whose stories have unanimously been Il
don't know why l ever did it," caused
the investigation by the Harvard pro-
fessorS.
The ''Imitative Impulse" Prof Muen-
sterberg points out, leads 10 dullness
of moral responsibility. Thus weak
ened. he says the women who are de-
tected in shoplifting are overcome when
they see the pretty display of Christmas
things and fail TO resist the temptation
to take them when they see other women
making purchases.
Prof. Holt says that woman's weak
ness in yielding to the lure of the Christ
mas display is really because of her in
ferior moral perception"
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28
INSOMNIA
Leads to NTadnes~, If Not Remedied
Ina Time.
touch of richne

Leads to Madness, If Not Remedied
Ina Time.
Experiments satisfied me, some 8
years ago." writes a Topeka woman,
that coffee was the direct cause Of
the insomnia from which l suffered
terribly, as well as the extreme nerv-
BUSINESS and acute dyspepsia which
made life most painful thing for me.
i had been a coffee drinker since
childhood, and did not like to think
that the beverage was doing me all
this harm. But it was, and the time
came when l had to face the fact, and
protect myself l therefore gave up
coffee abruptly and absolutely, and
adopted Postum for my hot drink at
meals.
1 began to note improvement in my
condition very soon after l took on
Postum. The change proceeded grad
ually, but surely, and it was matter
OF only a few weeks before l found
myself entirely relieved-the nervous
ness passed away, my digestive ap-
paratus was restored to normal eff
cheney. and began to sleep, restfully
and peacefully.
These happy conditions have con-
tinued during all of the years, and
l am safe in saying that / owe them
entirely to Postum. for when l began
to drink it ceased to use medicines.
Read the little book, THE Road TO
MELVILLE" in pkgs. There's Rea-
son"
Ever read the above letter?
new one appears from tine 10 time.
They are genuine, true, and full OF
human interest.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28
ASToR POLISHING UP.
Upholsterers and Others Renovating the
Fifth Avenue House.


Col. John Jacob Astor's pride seems
to have been touched by the publicity
given to the rickety and shabby condi-
ton of some of the family furniture in
his mansion, S42 and S44 Fifth avenue
Upholsterers, their arms piled high
with rich coverings, have gone into the
large ballroom and began work upon the
long sofas, which the appraisers, after
Mrs. William Astor's death, had de-
clared soiled and almost valueless. The
ninety gilded chairs in the ballroom, APP
praised by Norman II. Price and de-
clared to be wobbly, are also being over
hauled.
In fact, the entire house is being thor
oughly renovated. The thick wall which
divided the mansion into two parts one
for Mrs. Astor, and the other for her
son, Col. Astor, has been removed, and
every floor, even the servants quarters,
thrown into one, with 125-foot front
The bedroom carpet, which was criti-
cized by Price as full of holes and spot
ted, has been removed, and some of the
soiled hangingS are beng cleaned
1t is said that the mere cleaning of
them has raised their value $500 And
the grand piano, which cost $1,000 about
ten years ago, and which the appraiser
valued at S75, is being tuned.
when Col. Astor entertains." said
one of the servants yesterday, he will
have nothing to be ashamed of Besides.
the furniture and hangings amt so bad
Just little busting and cleaning and
their value jumps right back again.
"Of course, l amt saying the courts
didn't give the right values. People
won't give much for something they
don't want But I'm telling you. the fur
niture is just about as good as it ever
war. Col Astor amt getting rid of it.
is he? He is a man of taste. and it
amt likely he's letting any shabby stuff
lie around, So draw your own conclu-
sions"
Additional papers filed with the sur
rogate in connection with the appraisal
of the estate of Mrs. Astor declared
that her estate outside of New York
state is not worth more than $25, 5000
New York World.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28
WHAT ARE THE TRuMps OF LIFE?

What are the trumps of life?
Hearts" said the maiden fair:
For sweetheart, maid, or wife,
Love is beyond compare"
NO" said the heartless fiirt,
diamonds the trumps shall be:
Hearts are as cheap as dirt;
Give wealth anG power 10 me-
NO" said the man blase,
Clubs are the trumps we want;
Such gauds for the young and gay,
But clubs for the bon Yiyant"
Then the gravedigger said:
''Nanities soon are past;
The earth shall be your bed,
And spades must win at lasti"
Alfred b. Mackay, In Smart Set.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28
He Was the Goat

There MAS a goat In our town
And he was wondrous thin,
Aud yet wherever food was he
Was always butting in
And when he found the food was gone
He never acted blue
He merely ate the dishes and
He ate the table too.
lie ate family washing and
The clotheslinc at a bite:
And then he ate MILESTONE, just
70 whet his appetite.
lie might lave been theUc eating yet
But that's an open question
lie ate a box of breakfast food
And died Of indigestion,
Cleveland Leader
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28

W IteN dearest, VIII You love me when
my hair is gray:
Huhhy--I've loved you through three
shades Of hair now, so | guess | will
Husband That's hideous vase on
the piano.
Wife-Yes, | will send il 10 someone
for Christmas, if | dou't forget-Har-
per's Bazaar.
What belle Of the season do you find
NEST attractiveT
The dinner bell Baltimore Ameri-
can.
GueSt-Mercy, What's that awful
profanity downstairs?
HostesS-My husband has come in late
and fallen over the new Persian prayer
rug Human Life.
-
Stranger-Did you ever reveal your
fishing hole To a friend!
Angler-Once | did 10 friend on his
deathb ed.-Rrooklyn Life.
-
Kind Man-Madam, won't you take
this seat
LADY, cannot deceive YOU hut | am
il suffragette.
Kind Man-Theu sit in my lap.-Iife
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28

4 neatly dressed woman rushed into
Euclid avenue grocery yesterday and
priced the different sizes of pots of
baked beans that the grocery keeps put
up hot ready TO take home and serve
II guess the small size will do" she
said, hesitating.
How many do you desire to serve?'
inquired the clerk ready to advise.
"Oh, I'm not buying them to serve
the customer replied. "Of course
shall use them, but I'm getting them
ito keep my hands warm ON the ear.
came away from home without either
mutf or MISUNDERSTANDING Plain Dee-
on
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28
His DRAINS Came often.

a Philadelphia physician says that not
long ago he was called to see an Irish
man, and among other directions told
him to take an ounce of whisky three
times day. A day or so later he made
another visit and found the man, while
NOT so sick, undeniably drunk.
How did this happen?" the physician
demanded of Pats wife, who was hover
ing about solicitously, says the Galveston
News.
Sure, docthor an it's just what you
ordered, an no more, that he had" she
protested.
II said one ounce of whisky three
times dqv: that could not make him
drunk" the physician said. 'He has
had much more than that
"Divil a dhrOp more, docthor dear.
she declared Sure, an Oi didn't know
just how much an ounce was, SO | wnt
to the dhrug store an asked, an the
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28
Not a SPUR TO Ambition

4 pompouS man went into drug store
early one morning to buy cigar. The
only person he found there was the soda
water dispenser. The boy was sweeping
out the store.
'SweepiRg out. chg said tho man.
''Well. that's how | got my start -
The boy looked him over and replied:
Jaw. what do You want TO discourage
me like that for?'
When the man left he was frowning,
Denver Post
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28
Too Much LuxurY.

A man who had been three times mar
ried and as often left a widower was re-
ported to be thinking a fourth time of
entering into the blessed and comfortable
estate Of holy matrimony.
A friend yentured TO ask whether there
was any truth in the rumor and re-
ceived this sagacious reply:
Ma, ma; what wi mairryin' them, and
what wi busyin them, it's over ex-
nensive. Answers.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28
Half a Halo.

According to the Hartford Times.
group of diners much interested in the
progress of the Trinity endowment fund
found, the other day, the following stery
to amuse them: \ certain well known
philanthropist, it seems, went up to the
golden gates. He was cordially received
by the guardian angel. given n white
robe and harp, and fitted with n pair
of wings which seemed to become him.
He was then given half halo which
occasioned him to remark in surprise.
"Ah, replied the angel I'VE will give
YOU half halo. but you will have TO
nise the other half yourself"
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28
Some Bad Names

For a bank cashier-Rob.
For a coal dealer-Pete.
For a sloyenly man-Tony.
For burglar-Jimmy
For poor man-Bill
For brave man-Hen.
For hiropodist-COrny.
For a bad-tempered woman-May.
For an empty man-Phil.
For an easy man-Mark.
For doorman-Matt.
For a fiyman-Nat.
For Il grocer-Sandy
For a bankrupt-Owen.
For q sandwich man-Ham.
For an oyster map-Noah."
For an undertaker-Paul.
For miliner-Hattie.
For a deceitful man-E'rank.
For lady cashier-Tillie.
For farmer-Jay.
For son-in-law-Claude.
For Il builder-Jerr
For an -Me-thuselah
No with apologies To Londor
Punch for infringement of copyright
Judge.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28
Post Mortem Honor to a Terrier

A wealthy Italian lady recently sent
the emhalmed body of her Irish terrier
in an elaborate and expensive coffin from
Rome for interment in Ireland ]. Low
ry the famous raCehorse owner Of Bach
elor'S lodge. allowed the dog To be buried
on his estate
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28
His Dream.

he-I dreamed about you last night
She-Oh, you did, did you? Well,
you must remember that dreams go BY
contraries.
He-That suits me to dot. l dreamed
that ! proposed to you and you rejected
me.-Somerville Journal.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28
Sure Enough.

Brother Wagstaff ruminatinglyJ-I
won'er whit de fust plug hat was in
vented for?
Brother Sockett-Wcll-uh- Lawd,
sah-if 'twuznt for plug hats what
would den white tragendiuns an mig
ger breaches war ON DER heads PUCK.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28
A Trihe Canstic.

Two kinds of fools the river haunt
Performing stunts aquatic:
Aud nothing ever seems Ia daunt
Those gentlemen cratic
Two kinds of fools take damsels out
Despite the pleas of mother,
And one kind seems to be about
AS foolish as the other
Two kinds of fools we see afioat
Before the season closes,
One is the kind that rocks the boat,
The other kind proposes.
Philadelphia Evening Bulletin.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28
A Cash Basis.

He-You don't know what interest
take in you.
She-l would rather have the princi-
pal.-Le Sourire.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28

The only way in which a man can
make mis- wife agree with him that a
woman guest has stayed too long, is
for him to make love TO the guest.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28
Tariff Troubles.

II see that Teddy mas sent into this
country Il large consignment of lions,
tigers, etc. | presume ne will have 10
pay regular tariff duty on themf
"Oh, no. They will come in as free
roar material. Life
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28
In Prohibition Country

The Tailor Hip pockets?
The Customer-Yes
The Tailor-Large or small?
The Customer Half pints.- Cleveland
Leader
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28

sixteen drains was an ounce. and Olive
been giyin' Pat sixteen drinks three
times a day"
Good Guess
Bill see the mines of Montana
town have combined payroll of So
100000 a year.
Jill-They must be Butte's then
Yonkers Statesman.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28

Hubby-Yes, my dear; | am going off
on a trip, and | shall send you souve-
mir postal card from every place | visit
-Er-George, would it make
any difference if instead of souvenir
postal cards YOU made it souvenir postal
money orders?
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28

in potato growing contest In Der
byshire. England, one connection got a
yield of 300 pounds from one pound Of
seed, cut into eighty sets.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28
Tour of the World

& series of so post cards in colors will
be mailed to any address upon recent
o 10 cents in coin or stamps. Address
The K ening Wisconsin Co., milwaukee,
Wis.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28
Same Here!

IFS very simple, after MI, to tell
where the cars will stop"
Il can't see it that way
Certainly. If you're waiting here, they
stop there; if you wait there, they stop
here - Buffalo Express
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28

Muffs of fur and lace are pretty for very
Aressy wear.
One of sable has three bands of the fur,
spaced with rich ecru lace over satin, that
has hint of the sable shade With twas
worn small hat, having an entire sable
crown.
A sweeping paradise plume added final
touch of richness.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28
Revised Version.

There are apparently some people now
adays who believe that the translators OF
the King James version Of the Bible
were very careless, and that Put not
shy trust in riches should read, Put
not thy riches in ii trust Judge.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28
In Hengland.

AIRY Jenkins (emphaticallY - or
course, YOU quite understand, old man /
bold no brief for the House Of Lords.
The Bystander
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28
A Line on Bjenkyns.

I.awson-What sort of man is Bien-
kynS, anyway
Dawson--Well, his wife always goes
with him when he buys a suit Of clothes.
--Somerville Journal
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28

FOR DEEP SEATED COLDS and coughs
Allen Lung Bd&sdH cures when all other remedies
fail This old reliable medicine has been sold for
over 40 years. &c Soc, 90 bottles. All dealers.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-01-28
Stray New year Thoughts.

The proof of the resolution is the keep
ing thereof.
Many resolutions are not unlike cold
storage eggs.
A man swears off. and then swears
awful because he did
New Years is an off day with many
Of u.s.
There is nothing new under the sun,
not excepting New Year resolutions
Judge