davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20
WHERE MEN ARE wooED.
Maids Of Eeaussines Are the suItors
at Annual Festival.


Once upon a time, many, many
years ago, when men and maids used
to carry on their courtships IN a man
ner far different from that which OBJ
tains to-day. a bashful suitor entered
the town Of Ecaussines In Belgium.
At loss for words, he planted in the
darkness of the night OF April 30 a
white birch tree before the doorway
of the house of his beloved one, IN or
der that Il might plead the purity of
the cause 70 which his fiuttering heart.
draining him of eQuanimity, prevented
him from doing verbal justice. The
next morning when the damsel arose
and found the tree. she knew, by loves
unerring Instinct. wkO had placed II
there and sent 10 the bashful youth an
invitation TO call. The lad sought out
the lass. was welcomed. entertained
and encouraged. A happily ever
after" ending followed. Since that
day the Plea adopted by the timorous
love- hns become a custom in Ecaus-
sizes ard suitors both bold and bash
ri have sirfe employed IT,
IN the last four years. however,
there has evolved from this charming
custom grand fete in which all OF
the eligible men from towns for miles
around Ecaussines have gathered at
the quaint Belgian village and taken
unto themselves wives from the wards
OF the municipality. The convenienees
Of this occasion are beyond eomputa-
don for those OF the young men with
courage enough 70 propose marriage,
but the hesitating have often come
away wifeless and sad. victims Of
their own embarrassment To better
the lot OF these would-be Benedicts
and give them chance with their
more fortunate brethren. a new rule
IN the matrimonial game was agreed
on this ye-l. and when April 80 came.
tie blushing maidsns OF Ec-lssines
were invited 10 come to the nearby
town Of Ronquleres and there. instead
OF being pursued. were requested TO
follow out the "Superman" idea OF be-
coming the pursHeTs aud making lfo-
posals Of marriage TO those men who
struck their ianeies-
Willingly the dihident male per
mitted himself TO be WOoed and won;
and now the young men are elamoring
Tor the permanent establishment OF
this scheme which puts them beyond
the danger Of hearing the dreaded
no" fen tAe lips OF a woman.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20

Good Illustration Of tho DIHeuisy Of
cnneaaIlna Evil PraetIee..

Good Illustration Of tho DIfHeulty Of
conesalins Evil Practices.
Senator Elihu Roots onion story,
told at . recent dinner. is an illustra-
ton Of the dfficulty Of concealing evil
practices.
Take the case" said Mr.. Root.
'of old John Bodewin. John was a
lawyers confidential clerk, and he had
the psrnicious habit OF going to a
neighboring saloon every morning at
II O'Clock and taking a small glass Of
whiskey. He was not proud Of this
habit; hence. after the whiskey. he
always took Glove.
"But one morning II happened that
there were no cloves on the bar, and
John, after having considered the mat
ter, ate a small raw onion from the
free-lunch tray. That would destroy
the telltale whiskey udor. no doubt, as
well as the Glove bsd always done.
and so thinking he returned to his
desk.
1T was double desk. At It he
and his employer sat face to face
John, on his return. was soon aware
that his employer noticed something
The mans nostrils quivered, he sniff
ed. and finally with a grimace Of die
gust he broke out;
Look here, John. I've stood whis
key and Glove for nineteen years, but
/ draw the line at whislzey and ON
IONS"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20
waIl-street Arithmetic.

II John Smith has bought q thou
sand shares OF stock on margin, and
goes home at night and tells his wife
he made a thousand dollars. and thea
the next day the stock goes down
and If on the third day he goes home
and tells his wife be made thousand
dollars; and on the fourth day the
stock goes down. and on the fifth day
he goes home and tells his wife he
made thousand dollars. how does
he stand?
Answer.-It all depends on whether
HIS wife is accustomed to the ways
OF gamblers in telling their winnings
and concealing their losses. II sls
is. he is just even. because, whatever
he won, he went out and spent on one
big. uprosrious tim. II she is not he
Is probably about two thousand dol
lars out. because. acting on his tin,
she went out shopping and spent that
much on near-Turlish rugs, ChiDpen-
dales, foulards. bathing-suits. and
porch furniture.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20
Not on the Arm.

II was at a dinner party. The
bright young man sat next to he
young woman with beautiful arms sad
neck. The fair companion suddenly
exhibited signs of nervousness. Two
Of his best Jokes passed unnotio ed.
Her face wore look Of alarm.
Il am IN misery" she said.
'In misery?" echoed the man.
Yes. ] was yaccinated the other
day, and It has taken beautifully
can almost scream. It hurts So"
The young ran looked at the bean
tiful arms; no signs there.
Why. where we're you vacciz at
ed?" he asked sarprisedly.
In Boston" she said. the sniilo
chasing away the look OF pain.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20
rnE rlRsr suNpAY scHooL.
Humhls Beginning In Gloucester one
Hundred Yesrs Ago.

Hundred 1eafa Ago.
One Sunday morning. a hundred
years ago. a workingman. carefully
dressed in his best suit. came out Of
his house on the main street OF the
old english town Of Gloucester and
strolled ieisurely down the hill The
'New Inn" was fronted then. as It Is
to-day. by a square garden overhurg
BY the carved galleries Of the tavern.
There was d nscss-ciad vel In the cen.
ter, and about It we're beds Of sweet
smelling pinks and columbines.
Put the calm OF that Sunday moru-
ing was destroyed by crowd Of street
boys who fought over the flower beds.
making the day hideous with their
noise and coarse talk.
The Drinter-for printing was his
work on weekdays stopped in the
midst Of the crowd and looked steadi y
at the boys Presently he aaid to him
self: AT this rate those boys viii
soon go utterly to the bad. That must
not bel There are good possibilities
in them Here boys" he called aloud.
~come with me-"
He led them. yelling and pushing,
down the street into his own quiet
house. planning as he went how to
keep them there.
Il am going" he said presently. ito
start a school 'of you. How and here.
II shall be = free school; ! all be the
teacher"
The boys received the news with
shouts They were too ragged and
grimy to 60 to church on Sundays. No
other decent place was open to them,
TIE next Sunday his house was
crowded with the same class of chill
dren.
The idea of q free school on Sunday
appealed to every Christian as a most
hopeful plan for the rescue OF chil.
dren from wickedness. 1t spread
through the town. through the shire,
through England. II was adopted In
France and Germany; It made its way
to Australia and to the United States.
Now, in every country in the world
and in every sect there are these
schools, in which every Sunday morn.
ing the Bible story is told. without
money and without price.
In the staid old city Of Gloucester
they stin show you the New Inn and
the garden where the boys played
and the old hFown house with its
peaked roof. in which Robert Raikes
that long-ago morning taught the frsi
| Sunday school.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20
The IanItor,s ouestlon.

Holiday week is the period OF the
year when the field men OF the vari-
GUS bureaus go to Washington TO ge,
acquainted with their families and in
terview the bureau chiefs. One OF the
reclamation experts has spent the
year on the new Salt River project in
the hottest part Of Arizona. He was
lDdulging in some Of the big talk OF
the West in the presence Of the Irish
ianifor Of the building.
, why" said he, down in the Salt
River region you1l find the hottest
spot in the world Last summer we
had III degrees in the shade for two
weeks"
Everybody drew deep breath ex.
cept the janitor
well, Mr.. Davis" he exclaimed.
''yez didn't have to stay in the shade
all the time. did yer"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20

In Illinois there is an old law on
the statute books to the effect that
in criminal cases the jury Is Judge
Of the law as well as of the facts"
Thought not often quoted, once in a
while a lawyer with desperate case
makes use of II. In one case the Judge
instructed the jury that IT was to
Judge Of the law as we'll as the facts.
but added that II was not Judge Of
the law unless 1t was fully satisfied
that 1t knew more law than the Judge.
An outrageous verdict was brought in,
contrary to all instructions Of the
court, who felt called upon to rebuke
the jury. At last one old farmer arose.
"Jedge," said he, weren't we to jedge
the law as weIl as the facts7" Ser
tainly," was the response. But told
you not to judge the law unless you
we're clearly satisfied that you knew
the Law better than did" well.
jeoge." answered the farmer as he
sh fled his quid, I'VE considered that
point"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20
A Hot Argument.

Robert Edeson. appearing in
The Noble spaniard.~ was bemoan-
ing the decline of the adventurous
days when swords for two and coffee
for one" we're nightly occurrences.
The glamour OF life Is all for stage
purposes nowadays" he said. Real
life is like the story of the three d.
vines who met In hotel for confer
ence and grew heated in an argument
William III. was a great rascal
roared the first. as he struck the table
With his fist. "A great rascal, and I
spit upon his memory
The second divine. turning very
red. shouted:
mo, it's James II. that was the
rascal. spit upon his memory.
AT this point the third divine rang
the bell and. turning. said gently to
the walter:
"'spittoons for two. please.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20

When the weeping relict Of Cesar
was packing up to move out 0. he
palace she came upon the toge worn
by the deceased statesman on the day
Of the assassination.
Il don't know whether to darn this
thing or to throw it away" she said.
''I'd keep It as a curiosity. Cslr ur-
MIA" said her mother. Some collsc.
tor might pay you good round sum
for. that garment"
How absurd retorted Calpurnla,
what kind of collector would want
a thing like that?"
"Oh. you never can tell" said the
old lady. Some rent-collector may
come along some time. and it is Just
full OF EN-"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20
wHY nE usEp pIslnrsorANra
Il Was Not to Make an Eyssors Look
Respectable.


DR.. Charles Page at dinner in
Boston adverted to his recent attack
on the over-numerous operations for
appendicitis
TOO many OF these operations are
the result Of fad" said Dr. Page
They are as useless and a million
times more harmful than the opera
ton that a new resident Of Gloucester
performed the other day.
This chap moved into dilapidated
cottage near the beach and set to
work at once to whitewash 1t inside
and out While he was swinging the
wet brush on the exterior passerby
said apDrovingiy:
I'm glad 70 see you making this
old place so neat and smart It's been
an eyesore to the neighborhood for
years
Tt ain't nothing to me about eye
sores was the reply. The reason
why I'm whitewashin' Is because the
last couple wot lived here had twins
twice. understand lines a good
disinfectant Te see. we've got ten
children already"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20

Assistant Editor-There's a liar
somewhere among the contributors to
our funny column.
Editor-What makes you think so7
Assistant Editor-The number Of
stories related OF IN Irishman who
Just came over is three times the
number that have emierated from Ire
land into this country in the last
twenty years
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20

sy the Rule Of contrariss Goes ~
fairs in This LIfe.

ay the Rule Of contraries Goes ~
fairs in This Life.
Some anonymous writer has distrib-
uted the following sentiments on a
card:
Did II ever occur to you that a
mans life is full Of crosses and temp
tations? He comes into the world
without his consent and goes out
against his viii, and the trip between
Is exceedingly rocky. The rule Of con
traries is one Of the features of this
trip.
When he is little the big girls kiss
him; when he is big the little girls
kiss him. II he is poor. he Is bad
manager; II he Is rich. he Is dishonest
II he needs credit. he can't get It; II
he is prosperous. everyone wauts to
do him a favor.
II he is in politics. It Is for graft;
II he ia out Of politics. you can't md
q place for MIN and he Is no good to
the country II he doesn't give to
charity, he IA a stingy cuss; n he does,
It's for show. II he Is actively relisi-
Gus. he Is q hypocrite; II he takes no
interest in religion. he is a hardened
sinner.
II he gives affection, he is a soft
specimen: II he cares for no one he
Is cold blooded. II he dies young,
there was a great future for him; II he
lives to an old age. he missed his
calling.
II you save money, you're a Crouch;
II you spend It. you're a loafer. II
you get It, you're a CRATER; II you
don't get It, you're a bum-so what's
the use.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20
Hardly comnlInsntnrx.

At a wedding breakfast a nervous
and embarrassed bridegroom was
called upon to respond to the usual
toast.
Blushing to the roots Of his hair, he
rose. with some dim idea OF impress-
ing the fact that he had not expected
to have to make any sort OF a speech.
Laying his hand upon the brides
shoulder. and looking aaectionately
down upon her. he commenced:
"Er-er-this' thing has been forced
upon me unexpectedly"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20
Some Bride.

The bride is no doubt the most
popular young lady that this city pos
sersei and ever viii have the honor
o. possessing. She is a very amiable
young lacy possessing many traits OF
s.ariing quality and characteristics
which made her a very charming
BRIDE. Esr friends are numbered by
the many. not only here but ali over
Sex. brn Illinois. who laud this young
lady "a the very highest manner possi-
BILE. Words cannot sPesk too highly
for this ez5imable. happy bride. Their
romance started when the happy
bride was employed as teacher
In the public school in the city
Of Boston and soon friendship
ripened to love and through ardent at
tendon he won Tor himself the most
charming bride Dn Quoin has offered
In many a year which no doubt the
happy groom justly deserves.-Du
Quoin Oll) Call
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20
A Modest Doctor.

While on his vacation. a city doc
tor attended the Sunday morning ser
vice at little country church When
the congregation was dismissed sew
eral Of the members shook hands with
him, and one. wishing to learn il he
were a Methodist. inquired. Are you
a professor, brotherf"
"Oh, no indeed" answered the ply
sician modestly; Just an ordinary
doctor"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20

Pride goeth before fall, according
TO the Droverb, but It often happens
that the fan does not take place as
expected BY the cynical observer
Ars. Benedict. for example. vas very
proud OF her daughters attainments
At school Mrs. Benedict herself had
had little schooling. but attempted TO
make up for It BY retailing Margaret's
triumphs 10 her friends.
One day the minister's wife was
calling.
YES. ma'am." Mrs. Benedict said,
IN reply to a question, Margaret is
way up in all her classes. can tell
you. They've been reading Shakes
peare's plays latterly. and Maggie's
buying that little edition one By one.
so she can have Il At home. She
keeps them up in her room
-Let me see. she's read Hamlet
And-there was two mOre-Oh, yes,
one OF 'em was Romeo and the other
Juliet
7 enjoy hearing her do them ont
loud. Ars. Bradley"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20
Nd wlnaow Panes ReeentIr.

Americans living IN Beirut can 10
member when there was not window
pane in the city. Twenty-Five years
ago there we're no carriages. women
making their social calls on the backs
Of donkeys. The city now has 600
hcengsd vietorias, besides the private
vehicles. with automobiles and elec
trie street cars. There are complete
postal and telegrepbic services. news
pagers, colleges and fine palaces In
the Far East Japan leads the way. but
the Leyant iE following the lure Of
civilization.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20

IBID Ben Hur come to Swamp
town. asked the drummer. noting the
posters in the hotel lobby
yes. and we laughed Il right on
the boards.r replied the proprietor.
We amt such rubes as We look. In
the big act they had some horses drag
ging automobiles around. realistic
enough SO far as that went. but I'll
bet there warnt a one OF those ma
chimes was younger than the season
Of 1906"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20
How 10 popaE AuToMomLEa
Public School Pupils Get Another A.
dltIon 70 Their studIes.

Public School Pupils Get Another "A.
dItlon to Their Studies.
"aow to Keep from Being Run Over
IN the Streets of New York" Is the
latest addition to the course Of study
in the public schools IN the city. The
subject was put In the curriculum By
Egerton L. Winthrop. president Of the
Board OF Education. at the suggestion
OF the National Highways Protestivs
Society. In letter. copy OF which
WAS sent 20 every school principal in
New York. Winthrop said:
Il desire you 20 bring to the atteu-
ton OF pupils in your school he i'm
poTtance Of their exercising great
care when on the street. 90 as TO avoid
the danger OF being run down by auto
mobiles and other vehicles. II e A
common practice for children 10 At
tach themselves to moving vehicles,
wagons and carts. and then jump on
suddenly. thereby mourning serious
risks. They also frequeptly dart out
from behind piles OF brick. lumber.
etc. the streets and highways. and
not infrequently try 20 see how close
they can escape being run over BY
a motor vehicle. Many drivers OF au-
tomobiles rdn their machines In q
reckless manner. and the danger to
persons In the streets, especially 10
children Is great. think a few words
from you TO your pupils cannot fail 20
have good effect In reducing .ths
number Of aecidel.s-T
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20
InIudIeIous Remark.

-Pshaw!" exclaimed Miss Yerner.
impstiently, I'm sure wen miss tho
first act We've waited good many
minutes for that mother OF mine"
Hours. should say" MIR. Sion an
retorted, rather GROSSLY.
"'Ours?' Oh. Georgel" she cried
and laid her blushlng cheek upon his
ehirt front.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20

-Intemperance." said Horace Blk.
ey. the Oldest Mississippi pilot, 'is
what kills most OF us on. Once we
fshed out a passenger who had been
soaking IN the river for half an hour.
When the whiskey was brought. the
victims lips moved slightly, and
stopped to get his last words.
Roll me on a bar1 fust and get
some O. this water out. he said faint
ly. tItll weaken the lieker.' '"-Sue-
cess Magazine.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20
wnd AnImsIs ss oIan.. Kn0..

Wild Animals Ae Didn't Know.
"Mamna.~ said S-year-oid James. i
want an apple"
Help yourself. my child"
'@rhey's all gone"
"Oh, no. there are plenty down in
the cellar. Csn not you run down
and get one for You and one for nam
ma, there's a dear
"Is afraid
"l guess not; you're such a big
boy.
James thrust his hands under his
belt and after one look al his mot er
sniilingiy trotted on. Coming back
quickly with one npple and looking
pale, he ran TO his mamma and lean
ing on her lap. looking very serious,
he said: Mammal"
what Is It. ny child:~
4 run'd b'fore got yours 'eaues
saw a big later with a string tied TO
It run out barrel and up the WALL
The Delineator.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20

How lovely you look in those rose
blossoms. Miss Maud" said the de-
voted young man. rs the rose your
favorite fiower?"
"Oh. yes, I am very fond OF roses"
replied Miss Maud; but. do you know.
l should like to see how I would leok
IN orange blossoms"
Hint taken.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20
AUTOS FoR TIE VERY YOUNG.
Even Baby Carriages Fitted with No
tor Car Trlmminas Nowadays.

tor Car Trimmings Nowadays.
1T seems to me-" said the man who
likes automobiles. that the next gen
eration ought 10 be automobile mad.
The toys that children have ali are
auch as would accustom them right
from the start to machines. Every
one knows the miniature automobiles
that children have. which run with
treadles they kick with their feet. but
the other day saw one that goes
even further back toward babyhood.
4 saw a child being wheeled about
IN a sort Of go-cart baby carriage, a
child that couldn't have been over
years old. Extending back from the
front Of the carriage was a sort OF
steering post with q wheel attached,
to which the child-it was a girl too
chung in the most natural way.
The wheel had nothing to do with
the management Of the carriage. Il
seems to me that getting children
used 10 the automobile habit 50 early
oiTht to develop car feDds later On. /"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20

The girl was pretty. Leaning her
dimpled elbows on the table. she said
TO the critic;
And what Is your lecture TO 10
about. professor7"
Il shall lecture on Keats" he re-
Piled.
~oh. professor she gushed. what
are keats?"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20
a eooo DEFINITION.
Ths Little Girl Knew Al About
skeIlinetons.

wilton Lackaye. starring In The
Battle" has strong penchant for
nirls-smali ones especiaily. because,
IS he explains. they aford him "a
bushel OF amusenen. a veck."
my newest fame" he said win
make a great -horess soaie day.
rather fancy. in inct. she'll write a die
tionary. Recently ! beard her grave
" discussing 'saeilinglons' with an
other child.
'skellingtons ssofed. what do
you know about skeletonsT
"a skellington, she exclaimed
patiently, is a nlan with his insides
out and his outsides OF.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20
An Readv Tor puss.

Mr. Youngbird Ton the trainl Did
you leave anything for the cat, dear
est?
Mrs. Youngbird-Oh how can you
ask? You know wouldn't forget
him. 1 left a whole can Of salmon.
with a can-opener right beside IL
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20

Physicians have long been looking
for a harmless headache cure. It
has been produced by An eminent
chemist of the National Capital. n
is known as BRoMo-PEPsIN. Besides
curing every form of headache
instantly. Bromo Pepsin is equally
and as promptly eficacious In
chronic and acute indigestion and
the nervous disorders incident there
%. 1t is effereseent ard pleasant
to take and may be had Of all up-tc
date druggists at ten cents bottle.
1t comes as a boon to mankind ant
womankind. For sale at c. o.
Armstrong, Druggist.
-..s,..
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20
Suburban Amenities.

little Girl-Papa would like to
borrow your lawn mower.
Subbubs-Teil your father I'm sor-
ry. but I've made rule never to let
it go OF my premises. But If bod
lik7 to use it on our own lawn. it's at
his disposal at any time"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20

As George folded the fair young
creature to his heart a dull. cracking
sound smote his ear.
"Ahl It's good-by to those cigars
In my vest pocket ne said srim,y;
hut hang the expense at a moment
IKE this"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20

Engaged to that beautiful girl, and
yet not happys"
well, she's gone in by turns for
rowing. tennis. horses, golf, and dogs
Say On"
Sometimes wonder II / am a
sweetheart, or merely a passing fadl"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20

The Commissioners Of Pike County
will hereafter hold Regular Meetings
he lst Whursday Of each mo. between
the hours OF 8 a. IN. aud III. m. except
ing In the months when Court may
be in session, and then during Court
THEO. ii. BAKER
Comm. ISL 'ners Clerk
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-05-20
Time Table
ERIE RAILROAD.
AT
PORT JERVls

solid Pullman trains to BuEAio, Mag
ara FAlls. Chautauqua Lake. olsvsland
Chicago and Cincinnati.
Tickets on sale at Port Js ala
points in the West and Southwest a. loves
rates than via any other arst-siass line.
In effect June sith. 1905.