The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-10-15

an didn't amount to shucks, he held
on to himself and said:
II didn't mean as to politics, but
| the fellows found their match when
they came to me. 1 have been asked
/ to explore. I have been offered lead
| ing parts as an actor. l have been
asked to write national anthem"
And at LAST"
II shall take the lecture platform.
1 closed the matter today. The head
of the greatest lecture bureau in the
world wanted me. My salary will be
enormous. I shall be before the public
greatest success of the age"
Mrs. Bowser looked at him in love
and pity. He was striding back and
forth again, but he caught the look
and asked:
/ ''weII, have you anything to say?''
How much did the head of the
greatest lecture bureau in the world
borrow of your"
1t was bomb under Mr.. Bowser's
feet He ripped out a damn and
almost rose on wings as he exclaimed:
Woman. what do you mean by
such question: demand an instant
answer"
''Why, of course, he struck you for
money. 1 simply asked you the
amount"
"And by the great horn spoon you
meant it as an INSULT Never again
in all your life dare to talk to me
| IIuS!
but you did hand over money"
she persisted.
81 paid $40 to have my name en-
tered on the European route, but that
is a fixed charge. When you know
nothing of such things don't be fling
ing your insults around It's a won
der 1 didn't leave the house, never to
return"
well. you are booked to lecture in
America, Asia and Africa Have you
] oh GllhiaNf ~
"Only partly. was going to do you
the honor to consult you, but I have
been made to realize that you are not
in sympathy with the object in view.
SCI am in sympathy, but 1 think II
will be hard to find an interesting sub
ject What had you thought of?'
!. ''Why-why 1 thought my life an6
I adventures would make good sub
; ject Don't you think so?"
HAS there been anything unusua
; in your life?' she soberly asked.
ST am Bowser. amt ~"
Eyes. but Jones is Jones'"
There you go again. Another In
: sultI''
! "But tell me what you can sa!
7 about yourself to interest the public
What startling adventures have yo'
!. had? In what has your life differed
| from the average man'S?"
Mr.. Bowser thought for momen
: as to whether he should get mad o
not. and then answered:
Wasn't I nearly drowned in mil
| pond when boy?"
!, ct believe So"
Didn't a horse run away with me 2
"Weu ?"
d "Didn't I fall from a tree?"
Mrs. Bowser smiled. She meant t
: look sober instead. but the smil
could not be suppressed. Mr.. Bowse
turned paler than the dead as he saw
it. and the words failed him. H
simply walked down the hall an
grabbed his hat and almost jumpe
out doors. If he hadn't found
tramp at the gate and had a chanc
to yell at him and scare him half t
death there might have been an ex
plosion. His family druggist was al
ways sarcastic with him. but the onl
butcher, and the butcher knew NOR
about veal and mutton than lecturins
It was the druggist or nothing.
Have you the stamina to stand u
before an audience?' asked the ma
of drugs when he had been posted.
Certainly"
"And the subJect?'
my life and adventures"
"Um. Pretty good"
do you think SOP
Tip top. Let's see? Your name
Bowser. You have a new scheme O
hand every week When you are nc
In a balloon you are tucked away |
a submarine. When 1t isn't a chicke
farm it's a banana ranch. But 70
Mrs. Bowser's good common sense an
restraining hand you'd have been
pauper long ago. Yes, go on the pla
form and lecture about it and Civ
her due credit. Entitle your lecture
The Life and Adventures of a Sol
Mark This is my busy evenin
Mr. Bowser walked out into tn
might. There was q gentle rain fal