davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
Alienism.
"You are an alienist?"


"You are an alienist?'
"Yes, sir"
"That Is to say, you know crazy
man when you see hlm?"
That's about it,
"Is the prisoner sane?"
"He is"
"What particular thing determines
your decisicn?"
"The size and source of the fee, Of
course. You must be novice"
"No extranous comment, please. Do
you alienists ever lie under oath?"
"Those of the other side, yes, al
ways"
"But supposing you had been re-
tanned by the other side"
''In that case this side would have
become the other side"
"And you say the prisoner is sane?"
"No, insane; crazy as a hare. An
imbecile from the cradle"
Haven't you changed your mind IN
the last few minutes?"
ENTIRELY so. For an instant l had
forgotten that l was retained for the
prisoner and not for the State"
Soon after the case went to the
tury.-Philadelphia Ledger.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
o . o . . . . . . . . . o =
A HoIdinu-Qut Moral.

A goo1 story is told Of a certain
printer who, desiring to attend bail
game and requiring funds with which
to regale his contemporaries, resort
ed to the expedient of "holci 1g out on
the missus." Before turning in his pay
envelope he requested FIVE dollars,
and theL shamelessly asked the mis- ms,
sus for some money. She gave hlm
ten dollars, warning him to bring BACK
the change.
At the ball game our hero got glor-
iously illuminated, spending the Wnoie
sum of six dollars. When he return l.
ed home the missus took one looh,
and observed: "Well, | see L uon |
get any change" Vaingloriously ne
hauled out the remaining four 10
which he added the original hoidout'
and passed over the whole nine dol
lars. .sNot at ALL" said she sternly
"You never got all that for dollar
There is something wrong"
Moral: when you start to hold
out, keep holding" g."-Chicago Tribune.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
Mhx She Couldn't Speak.

A photographer in an Iowa town
was called upon not long ago to make
some pictures Of an old lazy OF ~
years or so, but Of surprising agility
and quickness of perception.
The picture man was, therefore,
somewhat surprised to find that no
words of address could induce the olu
lady to speak until the operation was
completed. Then she put her fingers
into her mouth, whence she Withdrew
several wads of paper.
"You wouldn't have me photograph
ed with my cheeks falling in, would
you?" she asked the photographer. Il
just stuffed two pages of newspaper
in my mouth to fill out"
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
Shap eof the Tongue.

The latest fad is delineating charac
ter by the shape Of the tongue. Thus
the tongue that shoots out straight
without turning or wavering indicates
solid, reliable man of affairs
Tongues that turn up indicate i'm
practical natures. A downward, droop.
ing tongue belongs to one born to pov.
erty and a ready eye for the hopeless
side of things. The cruel tongue fiat
tens and broaGens when extended. The
delicate-speaking organ with curled-up
edges is the property Of an imagina.
tive and artistic being. When the
tongue issues forth as If grpped in a
dental vice it signifies love of life
more than ordinary.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
BIacksnakes Love Milk.

It has been known that the black
snake has a fondness for eggs, little
chicks and birds, but few persons are
aware Of the fact that his snakeship
relishes milk as we'll as calf. Here
is true story Of one blacksnake
whose appetite for milk cost its life.
Near the old Harrison mines, three
miles east of this place, is log cabin
which has an excavation beneath 1t
that is used as a milkhouse. The
family living in the cabin found every
morning that weighted lid had been
removed from one Of the crooks and
the milk stolen. Finally member OF
the family kept watch in the darkness
He did not have long to wait until
he saw long, black object coming
through a hole in the cellar wall. 1t
wiggled toward milk crock. Then
there was a grating noise as the lid
was moved to one side. Striking
match the watcher saw huge black
snake with it's head in the crock.
When the reptile had emptied the yes
sci it. crawled back to the hole and
disappeared.
Fastening to the side of the cabin
the watcher saw the snake moving to-
ward small grove and he trailed it
to dead hollow tree. The snake had
vanished through knothole. A gal
lon of coal oil was poured into the
hole and match applied. AS Ghe
fire famed upward the snake appear
ed at another knothole and was shot
It measured eight feet and five inches
in length.-Indianapo News.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
Money in Cattle.

mo use of talking" drawled the
freckled youth on the roadside fer.ce,
thar certainly is money in cattle"
"In the stock-raising business,
young man." asked the tourist.
"No, not exactly; but an automobile
ran over that spotted calf few min
utes ago, and the man with the big
spectacles over his eyes got out and
handed me S. note"
Five dollars? That's not much for
a good sized calf"
eyes, mister; but the calf wasn't
mine. Now, If I can only stand
in front of another calf when he gets
run over III be right in it, begosh!'
Chicago News.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
Killed in Wreck.

Engineer Pope on Georgia North
ern freight and four negro laborers
were killed early Saturday when a
fast freight dashed into their train
standing on siding at Pecan City,
Ga. Several negro laborers were in
jured. When Pope jumped he trip
ped and fell beneath his engine.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
Tommy the Loser.

Tommy" laughed the visitor. II
don't think you like your sisters new
beau"
"Naw" growled Tommy, with a
pout. That mutt cut me out of a job" !"
"GocdneSs! And how was that?"
"Why, sis used to give me a nickel
an hour every evening to sway her
hammock, and low he comes around
and does it for nothing. Chicago
News.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
Student Got Away With 1t.

DR.. Isaac Schwat, professor OF
higher mathematics of the University
Of Pennsylvania, tells the following
upon one Of his colleagues apropos OF
an argument in which it was stated
that some students make believe they
know more than they do and get "py
with it:
"A learned friend of mine was walk
ing through the campus the other day.
he said, when he met one of the boys
of his class. This particular youth was
not very strong in mathematics. Tne
professor was interested IN complex
nroblem which had been botherlng
him for two years. Not two hours De-
fore he had arrived at conclusion
and was so delighted tnat his long
search was over. He wanted to tell
it to some one and get and opinion.
my son." he said. Il have found 1t,
The coefficient A multiplied by the
formula CD etc., for almost
ten minutes. And so you see we
have the answer wound up the schol'
arly man with glowing enthusiasm
"Is that .so? replied the student
completely knocked off his feet by the
flow of words and entirely unable 10
follow the thought.
Abruptly the professor walked
away and for the rest of the term the
student received surprisingly good
marks. After he graduated he asked
the professor about it.
".Ah YOU are a wonderful mathe-
matician,' was the reply. You should
have such marks. DO you recall tne
time l explained that problem to you
and you doubted my solution. wen.
over my work and found that nao
made a mistake. How you detected
il SO easily cannot fathom, but you
did."-Philadelphia Times.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
Rioht in His Line.

I'm surprised that you should De
90 interested in watching those silly
dudes" .i
"Force of habit, guess. I'm pfesl
dent of a real estate Improvement
company"
.Wel?"
"Well. they're a vacant lot''-Ine
Catholic Standard ana Times.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
Notice of Final Discharge.

I will on the 18th day of Septem-
ber, 1910, file my final account wita
the Judge of Probate for Orangeburg
County, as administrators of the es-
tate of John F. Simrlons, deceased,
and will thereupon ask for my final
discharge as such administrative.
Ada B. Simmons,
Administrative of the Estate Of John
+. Simmons, deceased.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
pidr't Need Her SpectacIes.

William asked his grandmother:
DO glAsses magnify, grandmother"
"a little, my boy
well, VIXEN you are packing my
lunch for school, I wish you would
take them off, please" he answered.
Exchange.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
Holds Its Own.

"Big demand, I s'pose, for ragtime
music?"
"There is"
ever sell any classical music these
days?"
"Oh, yes. Everybody wants little
to stand on the piano"
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
Desperate Killed.

Tom Leyerett, who bears the reDu-
tation Of being the worst negro in
Anderson county, especially when
drinking, was shot and instantly kill
ed by Chief Of Police Murphy and
Patrolman Shirley Of Anderson Sat-
urday afternoon, when they attempt
ed to arrest him for drinking and
creating a disturbance.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
Nearly the Same.

$50 he said I was polished gentle
man."
"Well, yes; it was the same thing, /
suppose"
"Ah! What were the exact words? ?"
"He said you were slippery fel.
low"
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
His Dearest Wish.

IF yo'l could be granted one wish,
what would 1t be?"
II would wish that ] might be as
perfect man as my wife thinks the
fellow was who died just before he
and she were to be married"
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
Early Indications.

Green-"Why do you think your boy
will become a chronic Office seeker
when he grows up?
Brown-"Because he talks great
deal without saying anything.
cago News.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
A Scheme.

~ see you gave the third act of the
musical comedy first"
"Yes," explained the stage man.
ager, we do it that way on alternate
nights. The third act is already set,
you see, from the evening before, and
nobody knows the diff"
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
The Times and Three
Times u Week, $3.50 per ycal.
Tired Of Living.

At New Britain. Conn, with a note
reading I'm tired Of living" pinned
to his clothes. the dead body Of ia
cob ]. Strobcl. a?ed Sc, was found
lying across his mothers grave in a
Fairview cemetery. He had taken
carbolic acid
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
Her Thrust.

"What plea can l offer for adorlng
herr"
NO special plea is required" sug'
gestcd q rival belle. "The silly sea,
son is still open"
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
a Womanvs WaY.

Beryl-Ethel is the sort Of girl who
believes in looking at the bright side
OF everything.
Sibyl-Yes; she's always looking at
the shiny surface Of mirror.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
The Very Best.

Gest-After all, the best thing when
you're in trouble is not the advice
that's given to you free, but that
which you pay for.
Jest-Not so; the best thing, after
all. is not to need any advice at all
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
a Clear Exclamation,

"I wonder ii it was very light in the
ark?"
"Well, if it was pitched within and
without l should think it would be
pitch dark k"-Baltimor American.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
Needs Space.

"What would be suitable. present
to send a royal baby?"
u,yo,, hardly know. "You
couldn't get its name on anything
smaller than a soup ladle."
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
A Modest Ambition.

"We'ye never had president stop
at Plunkville."
"Too small, eh?'
"I Judge so. I wonder if we coula
got one of the White House attendants
to send us picture postcard:
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
ForeWarned.

Wasson-I suppose you've noticed
I've bought watchdog?
Masso..- and let me give you a
tip. You'd better begin to study up all
the antidotes for poison.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31

The Times and Democrat-Has
About Twice the Number Of Sub
scribers as ANY Other Two Papers
in Orangeburg County.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
Tho Next Best.

"Hubby, I haven't had new dress
for q month"
Times are slow with me, dear. Bet
ter go In for literature and pretend to
be superior to the fashions"
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
Had to Do It.

"That clerk Of yours watches the
clock great DEAL"
"Perfe :tly eXcusable In his class.
He's a cCmmuter."
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
His Little Joke.

Jack-Young men in real life don't
often go wild over blond tresses, as
they do In novels.
Ruth-Don't they?
Jack-No. It's the black locks they
go raven over.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31

Drill Sergeant (after three hours
steady drill with the new recruit
Right about, face!
New Recruit (not moving)-Thank
goodness, I'm right about something
at last
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
Nerve,

II never could shave myself. !
never. had the nerve"
That's so. People who shave them
selves do seem to have peculiar sort
of nerve. There's Brassey, for in
stance. I've known him to go into
barber shop and ask for the loan of
g razor"
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
On the Nile.

"I notice the same characters cary.
ed on all the Pyramids"
Maybe it's the name Of the firm
that furnished the stonework."
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
One on the Dominic.

Vicar-I was grieved aad horrlfied
Giles, to see you walk out OF church
in the middle of the sermon yester.
day.
Giles-Yes, I be agoin' to see the
doctor about it, zur.
Vicar-About what?
Giles-About this ere walkin' IN
my sleep, zur!
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31

The Times and Democrat has as
Many Subscribers as all other White
Papers in this coutny combined.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
Simply That.

Mary-Did she make a good match:
Ann-Splcndid. Lots Of money, SooG
social position, and all that. In fact
the only drawback is the man.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
His Frank Admission.

"You swiped one Of my jokes out
right" complained the first press hui
morist.
"Well," said the second press hu-
morist, whenever I see I can't I'm
prove good joke, don't try to"
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31

Little Ethel (aged 3)-Tum on,
gwanma; supper is weady.
GrandEa-Why, dear, you mean
breakfast don't you?
Little Gthel-Es, tourse does, but
tan't say it.-Chicago News.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31

Anxious Mother-Harold, don't you
.now these are bad boys across the
street fer you to play with?
Little Harold-Yes, mamma; but
don't you know that I'm an awfully
good boy for them to play with
Chicago News.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
Too Conscientious by IaIf.

"Oh, don't be in such hurry!"
"Well, you see, faithfully promised
George I would meet him at the hotel
at 8 o'cl ok"
"But it's only $3.50 now!"
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31

"Well, Bobby" said the minister,
who was making duty call, what 40
you intend to be when you grow up?,
IAN orphan" promptly replied Bob
NV, who was still suffering from a
dose of parental discIpline.-Chicago
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31

The Times and Democrat-Over
Twice the Number Of Subscribers
as any Other Paper in the County
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
OUT or TIE MOUTHS OF BABES

Little Myra had been to parties on
three consecutive days. "Oh, mamma,
she cried On her return from the third,
..iust think! I've had ice cream three
days in congestion. Chicago News.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
THE Decorator and His Bill.

The decorator had just made MS es'
innate.
'T'll tell you what I'll do" said the
householder "You go ahead and dec
crate the house, and then I'll give it to
you in payment of your bill"
mo" replied the decorator. u
couldn't afford to take the house foS
more than half payment
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1910-08-31
Aro,Ised Her susnicion,

Aroused Her Suspicion.
Mabel-Why in tears? Doesn't the
ring please you?
Helen-Oh, it is beautiful, but fear
that the stone is imitation.
"Why?"
arthur didn't say anything about
returning it in case don't marry
him"
The Ogden standard. [volume] (Ogden City, Utah) 1902-1910, 1910-04-12
ToElLE COUNTY HAS
GREAT MARBLE FIND
Company Now Being Incorporated TO
Work Big Property,

Salt Lake. April 12.-Extonsive de.
yolopment work on some OF the fin
est marble prospects in the United
States will follow the Incorporation OF
the Western Marble and Onyx com.
Dany OF Salt Lake. which filed artl-
cles Of incorporation with the county
clerk on Monday This company has
a number Of claims in Tooele county.
hve miles from the station OF Low, on
the Western Pacific railroad, and the
claims are taken over in payment for
the capital stock OF the company a.
81 900, 900.
William Davidson. president OF tho
company. says there are outcrop-
pings Of marble OF excellent quality
on these claims. and the indications
are that the vein is l20 feet Wide and
5000 feet long. Both white and peach
blow marble Is found on these claims.
and the slight development already
done indicates that an excellent grade
OF marble will be produced Tho com
pany Intends TO continue the develop.
ment work as soon as the Western
Pacific railroad Is ready for business.
William Davidson is president of
the company: J. F. Mitchell vlce-pres.
ident; j. S. Sharp. treasurer and w.
y. Mitchell. secretary. A. p. Pringle
Is also one Of the incorporators and
a director
The Ogden standard. [volume] (Ogden City, Utah) 1902-1910, 1910-04-12
WelL-kNoWN LAWYER
TAKEN INTO CUSTODY
The offense Charged Is Driving on the
Wrong Side Of the
Street

Salt Lake. April 12.-Attorney
James II. Moyle was arrested by
Mounted Officer D. II. Crowther Mon
day afternoon on the corner of First
South and Main streets and taken TO
the police station. where he was
booked on the charge OF violating tho
city ordinance in driving on the wrong
side OF the street He was released
upon his own recognlzance by Lleuten-
ant Hempel
Mr. Moyle was later served with
warrant for his arrest and went TO the
police station. where he told Lleuten-
ant Shannon that he would appear in
the police court Tuesday to answer to
the charge. Mr. Moyle stated that he
had been In a hurry and admitted dis
regarding the instructions OF the Off
Ger.
According to Mounted omcer Crow
thcr. who bears the reputation of be-
ing a level-headed officer. Mr Moyle
was violating the ordinance requiring
the drivers of vehicles TO drive on GER
tain sides of the street Crowther
claims TO have hailed Mr.. Moyle. who
was driving a high-power automobile,
and to have requested him TO drive on
the opposite side OF the street Then.
according to Crowther. whose horse
was In front of the automobile Mr..
Moylc started his machine and ran
into the horse. almost knocking the
animal over. after which Crowther dis
mounted. climbed into the automobile
and drove II 10 the station.
The Ogden standard. [volume] (Ogden City, Utah) 1902-1910, 1910-04-12
STOCK CERTIFICATES THOUGHT
WORTHLESS ARE VALUABLE

San Francisco, April 12.-Ten years
ago Henry Brink OF Melrose, pur'
chased a few thousand shares of stock
in an Arizona gold mine. In return
for several hundred dollars. he recoiy-
ed great bunddle Of beautiful green
certificates. handsomely engraved.
After waiting IN vain for the mino
to become productive and finally dc
Gliding that as-in yestor he was as
green as his certificates, Brink smiled
over his loss and papered his room
with tho souvenirs of his folly. As a
mural decoration. the stock was worth
par
Yesterday be was informed that
porcelain clay OF rare quality had been
discovered on the mine site aud that
his certificates. in consequence. were
worth fortune Promptly thereupon,
Brink watered his stock-that Is. he
soaked Il and tho certificates peeled
off nicely. His walls arc bare now,
but be says he will remedy that at
once
The Ogden standard. [volume] (Ogden City, Utah) 1902-1910, 1910-04-12
HALF HOLIDAY is FAVORED,

We favor of the hafhoiday the
Young Ladies and Young Mems Mutual Improvement
in their efforts establish half day when
Sunday that day be made religious
worship
1t IS useless for churches to proclaim against Sunday
mentS while penup clerks and other os
which out the enjoy air The
religious people beginning understand this among
first to seek remedy the local associations
We believe 1t is profitable for employers extend their
poyes halliday recreation The young young
who enjoy outing better equipped increased gor
cheerfune to good than the podder who grows
with lack of diversion and failure circulation
and digestive organs by healthful exercise
You have heard of the Crouch He sulen
who ofends customers His trouble his liver stomach He
Keeps his nose 10 the grinding stone to the neglect of his health
temperament and his away trade
than sweet What crouch
needs physical exercise torpid should have
halhohday And with of those holidays fewer
clerks in ilhumor.
In order to keep holy the Sabbath day the laborng
should be offered other day which enjoy themselves
The ministers of the city should join the Improvement
Citations In obtaining half-holiday
The Ogden standard. [volume] (Ogden City, Utah) 1902-1910, 1910-04-12
SUNDAY WORK is
TO BE ABOLISHED

Pittsburg. April 12.-Not only on
the Bessemer & Lake Erie railroad. as
previously announced but on nearly
a dozen lines subsidiary TO the United
States Steel corporation. is Sunday
work to be abolished. 1t is learned
The order is issued fG< Sunday rest
for practically all OF tho great steel
companys employees In mills and rail-
roads. and is to include upwards of
100. 600 men. IL is said. Railroads on
which the order is being put into ef-
feet are the Youngstown & Northern,
the Elgin. Joliet G. Eastern the Du-
luth, Mesaba & Northern. the Donora
Southern and the Mercer Valley.