Norwich bulletin., 1910-04-23
THE MAN WHO TALKS

than on account of his achievements that he is it, is more than half ruined. Happy is the person who doesn't feel the need of compliments and cake, but who can find pleasure in work and corned beef and cabbage. It is often more to a mans credit to live in Hard scrabble row than on Easy street The price of every good thing in this world is work, and the bane of life is lazi- ness sustained by.conceit-
 Jane writes that it is a waste of time to quote scripture to show the equality of woman since it announces her superiority over man. Jane has always worried us more or less by her criticisms. She says the story of ere ation is Gods word for it. To teach man progress the Lord began low down in the scale of life and worked up to the higher animals and he crowned his work by mahns- woman, not man as so many divines proclaim When the man was completed and equipped to Lame ali the creatures of the earth God saw that he was not capable of caring for himself and needed help, so he took a rib from Adam and made him helpmeet so superior to him that the rulflment of the word was made se- cure. Gods latest creation is always his best creation Who'll dispute with Jane.
 The writer who discovered that the cockroach was a clean Scavenger and took a hot water bath every day show ed lack of familiarity with his habits. Since the real roach is black he may have originally been a Nubian although his travels have made him cosnopoli- tan He is naturally a night prowler, and he doesn't look after crumbs in the cracks and creviceS if he can find horn to chew. Ts,e old sailors used to say that these sStowaways on ships where horn was scarce used to invade their berths and gnaw their toenails down to the quick while they slept. They have the habits of an owl and the instinct of a chicken thief. They will invade the flour barrel or anything else with edible contents, like the ants. and they are not appetizing in cake or pie When disturbed by plumbers they run up their sleeves and trousers legs and drive them from their work more because of their numbers than their ferocity. The roach is what he is, but to man he is m, good.
 1t is more than probable that every body has been annoyed by telephone rules. It doesn't seem natural to call seven double seven nine-three, ring please, for TIT ring 8. And sometimes the operators in central get upset by the order. The other day we shouted: Ate-four-ohi rin- please! and the cen- traIs voice exclaimed .fW-h-a-t--s
 that!.t" If it had said in a calmer tone Repeat, please" we should have replied Ring 40S, please" But we
 stuck to the regulations and shouted:
 ''Ate-four- -oh! ring pleaset" and we never got it. How much easier to un- derstand One . double one double = three! is to III ring 3! There is a great head somewhere, and if it will just keep the hello girls from surpris- ing us with Whats thati" when we greet them in telephone lingo we will thank them. Please repeat" is better.
 The trolley conductor with "a short arm never appears to realize that the regulars on his car get on to his game as naturally as a spotter. They
 haven't anything in particular to do in the bob-tai1 box cars, but to watch
 the conductor and glare at one an other. If they are not estimating how may square feet there may be in some
 noticing how the conductor rings in the fares. If he rings them in as fast
 as collected he is usually long armed, but if he rings 'em up rapidly in
 punches and groups, he is one of these afflicted short armed fellows. Some
 times he'll take up six fares and ring in three; and sometimes if you will compute the faces of the registers and that there are six more passengers on
 the car than have been rung in. It is a rattling game any fool can get caught at.
 We are all microbe carriers if the
 scientists tell the truth. There is no
 such things as screening out germs. It's nothing for a man to have a few hundred thousand of microbes in his whiskers, or to be carrying about a half-million on old dollar-bilIs in his wallet. Since we have had war de-
 clared on flies as germ carriers, I have been wondering how many flies it will take to match me as microbe transporter, or from a scientific stand point how many flies does it take to equal a dirty one-dollar bill? The mi ] s,a -af,- k<n 100 or 1000 to the gallon-the fouler the air is the more numerous the mi crobes. Now if the Lord has set them afloat in the air so thick why is a fly or a Typhoid Mary any more to be blamed or feared for carting microbes round than you or l. They are natur-
 ally too derned numerous and promis-
 cuous1y distributed to blame flies for carrying 'em.
 There would not be so many limping men and women in this world if when young they didn't squeeze their feet in tight, high heeled boots, and shoes as a matter of deception There is some thing in the assertion that when a boy or girl caches the age of sense they immediately begin to wear senseless shoes. When they have good feet they dress them for style-when they have become disfigured and sore they dress them for comfort; but those who uniformly dress their feet for com fort from youth to age have the best looking foot and the well-sustained, elastic gait. From this came the gait CT, and from the gaiter the 1ater-day limp. Those who sacrifice comfort to style in any direction are on the road to deforrnity and discomfort.
 Most everybody realizes that the man least qualified to give good advice is the one who ventures oftenest to att tempt it. The man who makes it bus mess to give advice never appears to pay any attention to the psychological
 moment If he followed the methods | of a good hybridizer and just laid the advice down when conditions were most favorable to it. he would not be regarded as such a nuisance. Advice
 should not be cut in too large chunks, | 1t should not be served regardless of i the taste of the one for whom it is de- i signed. To some it is too nauseating to he given in large doses. It takes
 q. wise teacher to give advice in q way ! to make it acceptable and effective.
 Yes, William. life may be made a dream or a poem by a capable person
 and anything else incapability can be l fearful of. have seen life when it was