The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1910-07-07

copyright, 1895, by w. II. HesTst.)
Mrs. Metcalf," said the magistrate,
d I understand that you make a
charge of assault and battery against
Mr.. Metcalf?"
Not exactly, Your Worship: you
see
One minute" said Metcalf. Permit
me to explain h matter. Is You Wor-
ship acquainted with the Australian
boomerang?"
"Yes, / am"
Well, you will know that the pecul-
iarity of h boomerang Is when you
throw it forward 1t flies backward n
hits something behind you"
When you throw it behind you, what
does it do?"
Comes straight to the front. On
Tuesday I ben the kitchen poker into
the boomerang shape and began to
study the scientific aspects of this re-
markable weapon"
What for?"
Partly for the sake of developing
scientific truth, partly for he purpose
OF killing duckss If I want to kill a
duck with a boomerang what do I do?
I walk away from him. I go off in
the opposite direction. This lulls sus-
picion in the ducks mind. Suddenly
I take careful aim, say at Jones' man
who Is chopptng wood in the next yard.
] let fly, and the first thing you NOW
as that the boomerang has gone whoop-
Ing over my shoulder and killed the
Observation-Disclosures as julius
Caesar. It's one of the most beautiful
sights in the world.
Did you ever kill one that way?"
We'll, that is just h point. No, I
did not. / am practising. This is
what is exciting Mrs. Metcalf. Wednes-
day morning while / was out In the
yard trying the thing, / forgot. 1
aimed at the bird-cage in the porch,
and the poker went over my head and
straight through the kitchen window.
l apoiogized to Mrs. Metcalf and tried
again. This time l aimed right at the
kitchen window, intending TO hit the
bird cage behind me. The boomerang
must have got twisted somehow, for
the scientific principle was temporarily
suspended, and she went bang through
the kitchen window again."
did it strike Mrs. M~etcalf?"
Struck her head, your worship. But I
explained and bent the poker back to
the proper angle. Then l aimed at the
pump and let her fly. She turned over,
flew behind me, and nearly Drained Ma
tilda, the girl. who was com
ing out of the coal cellar with a scuttle
of Goals, unhappily. at that moment"
Where is Matilda?"
I'm the hospitu. She is having a
~trepan--a kind Of %trapdoor let into her
skull. h will sye me as soon as she
comes out. 1t is lard to suffer for sci
entific truth"
But have you managed to hit any
ducks YETI"
I'll tell you. I caught a duck and
tied it down to Il gooseberry bush. l
projected the hoomerag at that duck
273 times, not counting once when it
slipped. I hit everything within forty
feet Of the bird: I hit all the loose
ducks and chickens: 1 smashed the
glass in the hot bed: I sent the poker
twice through a sheet on the clothes
line; 1 dug up all the flower beds,
smashed eleven flower pots, ruined two
young peach trees, broke the top off the
pump, and manned pet dog for life,
but l never hit my particular duck
once; l don't know why. Probably /
haven't got the hang of the thing yet"
And Mrs. Metcalf wants you to stop
practicing, does she?"
Yes, sir. But I'm going to learn, IL
I have to &C out to Australia to get the
knack of it,"
well. I hold you in e1Oo not to fling
that boomerang again outside Aus
tralia until 0 learn how"
Very well, your worship, but I'll
leave for there by the first train tomor-
| row."