davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-11-16
John Henry S
u Courtship |
By GEORGE V. HOBART

aside: "Tacks, leave the room!"
But Tacks wouldn't go-not for
priceless gems!
Percy proceeded to part his coat
tails before doing a Society droop, and
in that manner he grew wise to the
airship attachment in the rear.
An expression of wonderment crept
over Percy's face, and with much de-
liberation he started to pry off the in
cubus.
Then something ripped. It wasn't
the sofa pillow
Clara ]. was painfully embarrassed,
and Tacks was busy taking care of a
series Of internal spasms.
Percy began to back up. Presently
be nit a small table on which rested
costly bit OF bric-a-brac, and over
went the whole plazazus with smash
on the floor.
Percy gave Clara J. the frightened
fawn eye and started to gather up the
shells from the floor.
When Percy's shoulders went
down, quite naturally the pillow went
up in the air, and then Clara col
lapsed.
Tacks was under the sofa biting
holes III the carpet.
Attracted by the crash, Mamma and
Papa cut in They stood in the
door and watched Percy digging for
broken bric-a-brac with sofa pillow
clineing gayly to his southeastern ex-
treroity. He looked like an animated
J4l~neso lantern.
1t was too much for Papa. He
gave Percy the boot and ducked.
Mamma teetered over to Percy and
said: ''Oh, it doesn't matter, Mr..
jones'" and then she took a pub at
the pillow
AS she did SO Percy sat down on
the floor with bump that shook the
block, and it was even money who
was the most surprised, Mamma or
Percy.
Clara ]. had left the scene of battle,
and Tacks was out in the hall pray
ing for power to laugh just five min
utes longer
Percy arose painfully. So did the
sofa pillow. Mamma eyed them both
suspiciously.
Il beg your pardon, Mrs. Van
vivver!" said Percy, and with both
hands behind his back he took an
other yank at the evil.
"R-r-r-r-i-p!"
Percy stood up and Mamma ex-
claimed: Mercy on us!"
Its a mere nothing, assure you!"
said Percy.
Wont you re-seat yourself?' asked
Mamma, politely.
I'm afraid I'll have to when this
comes off," answered Percy mourn
fully.
Il fear ! don't quite catch your
meaning" said Mother, and now her
signals were out for cold wave,
Percy blushed and said: "The fact
is, Mrs. Vanvivvier, I'm making a col
lection of sofa pillows-new fad,
don't you know. Awfully jolly sport!
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-11-16

Miss Clara said 1 could have this one,
so-er-er-that is, I took it. Fad of
mine, don't you know"
Indeed" said Mamma well, it
must be rather awkward to carry the
bottle of mucilage that goes with that
fad Good night, Mr.. JONES'" and
with this she brushed by and left him
on the ice.
Percy stood there living picture
entitled Down and Out"
He hadn't friend in the world ex-
cept the soft pillow, and that stuck
closer than a brother.
His checks were all in, and he had
just made up his mind to leap
through a window, call cab, and
say: ITO the morgue, drive fast."
when Taoks jolted him back to life
by saying: Here's Pops old over
coat. On your way, quick. Send the
pillow home by express and all will
be forgiven"
With something akin to joy in his
heart, Percy dug up dollar, gave it
to Tacks, and said: Little man,
you've saved my life-bless you, bless
you: Tell your sister I leave town
tomorrow morning very early and may
| be gone for seven years!"
Then Percy and the sofa pillow
went under the oyercoat. and the
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-11-16

the last two years. I think from your
description of internal catarrh that
must have had that also. [ suffered
very severely.
Nothing ever relieved me like Pc
runa. 1t keeps me from taking cold.
with the exception of some deaf
ness 1 am feeling perfectly cured. I
am forty-six years old.
81 feel that words are inadequate to
express my praise for Peruna."
Catarrh in Bad Form.
Mrs. Jennie Darling, r. F. D. l.
Smyrna Mills, Maine, writes: 'I was
unable to do my work for four years,
es I had catarrh in a bad form.
coughed necessarily, and got SO weak
and was confined to my bed.
PerunG came to my relief and by
faithfully using it, I am able to do my
work. Peruna is the best medicine that
I ever took"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-11-16
Hence the Name.

In the service of a Baltimore fam
lily is an old negro cook known as
Aunt Sally, and not the least of her
achievement is the preparation of sea
food.
In the kitchen one day Aunt Sally's
nephew, a nine-year-oId lad from a
point where crabs are seldom seen.
was watching in GREATNESS interest
the old lady's deviling of a dish of
such crustaceans.
"Aunty," said he, after much refiec-
ton upon this mysterious point, docs
debbil crabs come from de debbil?"
mo, chile" promptly responded
Aunt Sally; but dey is de debbil to
make"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-11-16

Seven of us were entered in the
race for Clara Us affections, when
determined to get out my saw and do
some heavy ice-cutting.
The other six were society shines,
and every time I dropped into Clara
Us brownstone / found one of these
pale boys draped over a sofa, making
gurgles with his voice, and handing
out Fiji glances to my own particular
Pattern of Dress Goods.
1t was cruel.
Something kept whispering: John,
get your brush and paint a finish for
these poIishes!" SO finally l went
after them.
Percy Acton Jones was my pet
aversion.
Percy was short and fat, and when
he talked he used blonde voice.
Percy used to be a dramatic critic
on one of the mail order journals, and
he had the reputation Of being able
to throw the hammer farther than
anyone else in the Knockers Union"
Percy rejoiced in the fact that he
was safe from the retributive slap,
because when an actor or an author
whom he had toasted went after him
for the purpose of handing him one,
Percy would always pull a frown
down over his fat little forehead and
exclaim: Aren't you the rude thing!
in soprano-then it was ali off.
Clara J. rejoices in small brother
whose company name is Thorndyke,
but the family call him Tacks for
short Tacks is eight years old, sharp,
and hard to sit on. | was his hero,
and it only cost me four dollars, most
Iy in nickels.
So, with the aid of Tacks, l formu-
lated a finish for Percy Acton Jones
that was beautiful to the limit.
had often noticed that the parlor
of Clara Us camp was threatened
ing and one of these saffron-colored
sit-down-easys gave me an idea.
[ took Tacks into my confidence
and explained my plan. Tacks didn't
like Percy. In his estimation the Jones
party was a stout parcel of heated air,
and Tacks was eager to be up and do
ing him.
At a candy cave l bought pound
of saffron-colored molasses taffy and
had it rolled out fiat and square, SO
that it would just about cover the top
of a soft pillow.
Tacks was with me, going and
coming, and when we reached home he
went through the basement and let
me in the front door. | felt as merry
GUS as an unopened Jackpot, but we
finally introduced the saffron-hued
taffy to the yellow sofa pillow and
placed it carefully in the chair most
affected by Percy.
Then / left Tacks on guard and
gumshoed away like Raffies, the busy
burglar.
When Percy rang the bell that eve
ming the door was opened with sud-
denness that made him gasp, and
Tacks, with a heavenly smile on his
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-11-16
THOUGHT SHE HAD PRACTICED
Frenchman's Suspicious Really Some
thing of Compliment to the
Men of America.

Claude Grahame White, the English
aviator, praised, at dinner in New
York. the good fellowship of Amer
leans.
THE American woman is regarded
abroad as an angel" he said. 1.-THE
man is admittedly a good fellow, but
an angel he is far from being.
you've heard of the Frenchman
perhaps, whose sweetheart spent the
summer in America? After her return
the poor Frenchman seemed quite
blue.
whats the matter with your g
friend asked.
ct am worried the other muttered,
about my fiancee. You see, since her
return from America she kisses so
much better than she used to-"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-11-16
Stronu PREACHING.

The minister's eight-year-old daugh.
ter was returning with her parents
from church, where the district super
intendent had that morning occupied
the pulpit.
"Oh, father" asked the little girl,
her face alive with enthusiasm, Don't
you think Brother c. Is very strong
preacher? I do"
"Gratified by this evidence of un-
usual intelligence on the part of his
offspring, the minister eagerly In
quired into her reasons for her state
ment.
"Oh," replied the little miss, art
lessly, didn't you see how the dust
rose when he stamped his feet?"-
Judge.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-11-16

Clara Us Papa used to float in thu,
parlor and cut ice for hours at a
time, while Mamma sat in the rock
ing chair and made faces at herself
in the mantel mirror.
1t was a fight, and there was a tie
up in the wedding bell business, but
won out.
Clara Us father is a Wall street
broker-retired. Every morning for
20 years he went into the street
and came home at night with hat
full.
He used to throw what he made
in the cellar, and when the cellar
wouldn't hold any more he got mad
and quit bringing it home.
One evening I brought Papa a
book entitled "An inexpensive Way
to Get Rich," written by chap who
is visiting friends in the poor house
Father went out in the dining room
and started to read the book to
Mother, and she went to sleep.
Here was my golden opportunity
and | cashed in.
and began to talk fast.
"Clara j." 1 said, ''for weeks and
weeks I've been waiting for a chance
to place your tiny mitt in mine and
give it the silent squeeze-take that!
Through all the waking hours of the
day and through the lonely stretches
of the darksome night l think of you,
only you, beloved - look into my
lamps and you'll see I'm not kidding
you! Are you next, little one?"
Clara J. nodded.
This was the opening scene from
my strong speech, and it seemed to
be hit all right; but perhaps l wasn't
swallowing my palate and getting
nervous! Well, maybe!
Listen, Clara J."-I braced and
began to push the lawn mower again
-"since time immemorial men have
knelt at the feet of beauty and-er-
er-T say, since time immemorial ken
have melt at-er-"
The wheels were slipping and I had
no sand.
81 say, Clara j., since time MINI
mimimorial ken have belt at the meet
of-that is to say, ben have felt at
the keet of-er-er-"
Back up!" said she very softly, and
my life was saved.
It was the first time I ever heard
her use a fancy phrase, but she had
timed it just right. 1t brought me
back to earth as no other words could.
Isn't she the wise little gazaboine,
though?
I discarded my strong speech and
got right down to cases.
Clara j." I said, months and
months ago your image moved into
the only furnished room in my heart,
and now I want to collect the rent
are you wise?"
yes" she said, and her head
dropped a little lower.
Il was out" I went on, ito hand
you one of those long, ready-made
speeches, full of moonlight serenades
and peeping stars nesting in azure
skies, and soft sentences tied up in
a true lovers knot, but | fell down
in the first lap and had to cut it out
Now, the point is this: When can
grab you by the southpaw and lead
you off to a minister's, where togeth-
er we can hear the brides sing?"
For & moment she was silent, then
she looked up and said ever so sweet
ly: TITS up to you'll"
The next minute-well, it's none O.
your darn business!
Copyright by G. W. Dillingham; Co..
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-11-16

whole package made a rush for the
door and freedom.
He never came back
When I sauntered in a half houf
later I overheard Clara j. saying to
Tacks: Here's a dollar, you little
imp. Now, don't you dare tell John
Henry"
The next day l gave Tacks another
dollar for not telling me-
There was only one way to get rid
of the other five saucy ones who sat
around and spilled words in Clara ]. s
parlor, and that was to induce her to
walk down the church aisle with me
until the minister stopped US.
So l framed up a line of talk that /
thought would be strong enough to
make her look up the market quota
tons on freshly picked orange bios
sons
| figured it out that all 1 had to
do was to talk my lines and the girl
would swoon at my feet With q
speech like that the part would play
itself-there was nothing in it!
But luck wasn't with me.
Unkind Fate gave me the double
cross and my hoodledoo was working
overtime
For two weeks l was out on a side
track with my strong speech locked
up in a cold storage car.
The trouble was that the old folks
ICHI<od unon mo &C ono of tha family
to such an extent that every evening
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-11-16
!, fort TO obIIge.

.rAgr Loubrow does his best 10 20
aoreaable" said the sympafnetic
Young woman. Its too bad tna' no
has so little tact.
Z understand that Miss coddleyap
refuses to speak to him. He sent nel
a box of candy and she fed 1t all 10
her net terrier. So he tried to De sun
more kind and thoughtful and sent
her box of dog biscuit.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-11-16

ED GEERS, '"The grand old man, ,; ne
is called for he is so honest nahu 10y
SP Tt1f1 DISTEMPER CURE for u
wears, always with best success, It Is. the
only remedy know to cure all forms Sc OF
distemper and prevent horses in same sta
BILE having the disease" soc and 81 e opt-
tie. All druggists, or manufacturers. Sponn
Medical Co, Chemists, Goshen, IND.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-11-16
COLDS
BREED
CATARRH
Her Terrible Experience Shows
How Peruna Should Be in Every
Home to Prevent CeIds.

WI De lie 81
Sage RS e T,
1911 Wood
land Ave-,
K a n S a 8
City, Mo-,
writes:
ST feel it
a duty to
you and to
others that
may be af-
hicted like
myself, to
speak ( 0 +
Peruna.
my trou-
Bile q r q I
came after
Ia or ippe
Q / g h t or
nine years
ago, a gath
ering in my
head q n d
neuralgia. I
su fl e r g d
most all the
t / m e. My
nose, ears
and 9 Y @ s
were badly
affected for
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-11-16

pleased with the quick relief Doan's
Kidney Pills gave me. They drove
the pains away and restored my kid
neys to normal condition. l have
been free from kidney trouble for six
years.
Remember the name-Doan's.
For sale by all dealers. so cents a
box. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, n. z.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-11-16

Mrs. AUGUSTA VESPERMANN, De For
est, Wisconsin.
Another Operation Avoided.
New Orleans, La.-"'For years suf.
fered from severe female troubles.
Finally was confined to my bed and
the doctor said an operation was neces-
sary. I gave Lydia e. Pinkham's Veg
etable Compound a trial first, and
was saved from an operation" Mrs.
LILY PEYRoUx, I'LL Kerlerec ST., New
Orleans, La.
Thirty years of unparalleled success
confirms the power of Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound to cure
female diseases. The great volume of
unsolicited testimony constantly pour
ing in proves conclusively that Lydia
e. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound is
q remarkable remedy for those dis
tressfng feminine ills from which so
many women suffer.
TfyOu want special advice about
your case write to Mrs. Pinkham.
at Lynn, Mass. Her advice is
FREE and always helpful
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-11-16
a Terrified Hero.

Did you have any narrow escapes
in the surf last summer?
yes" replied the life-saver- one
lady whom I rescued was so grateiuA
that she nearly married me-.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-11-16
A Sure Sim.

Il understand, Mr.. Reuben" said
the visitor, that your son is devoted
to the turf
"Ya-as, l reckon he is" said the old
man. "Jabez kin lay down on the
grass for hull hours 'thouht maxim no
complaint. "-Harper's Weekly.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-11-16

"I had a curious experience yester-
day." said Farmer Corntossel.
What was it?''
"a stranger came along and told
me a funny story and didn't try to
sell me anything
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-11-16
The Regular Fare.

What makes you think that young
man will be a success in society,"
1.-THE fact that he has such an ex-
traordinary appetite for tea and SAL
ads"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-11-16

When a woman begins to tell man
how nice looking she thinks he is he
Immediately develops unlimited faith
In her judgment.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-11-16

in every part of my
body. | rested poor
ly and was so stiff
in the morning |
found it hard to
dress. I became
tired easily, lost
flesh and was in a
bad way. l was well
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-11-16

DR.. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets regulats
and invigorate stomach, liver and bowels
Sugar coated, tiny granules. Easy to take
as candy.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-11-16
can You blame Him?

PA, what does skepticaP mean?
THAT describes a mans feelings
when a woman tells her age.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-11-16

Most marriages are happy; the IN
happiness comes later.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-11-16

There is no help for man who Is
too lazy to work his friends.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-11-16

Silence may give consent or it may
give offense.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-11-16
SAVED
FROM AN
OPERATION
ByLydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound

De Forest, Wis
"After an opera
ton four years ago
I had pains down
ward in both Sides
backache, and a
weakness. The doc
tor wanted me to
have another opera
ton. [ tookLydia E.
Pinkham's Vegeta-
bic Compound and
I am entirely cured
Of NV frOub1aS -
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-11-16

Examine carefully every bottle of
CASTORIA, safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that it
Bears the ~ <<c1
Signature of NZZzzSN
In Use For Over 80 Years.
The Kind You Have Always Bought
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-11-16
CURED SIX YEARS.
No Fear of Further Kidney Trouble.

Mrs. Josiah Clinker, State ST., Tama,
Iowa, says: My first symptom OF
kidney trouble was intense pain in my
back This grew worse until | ached
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1910-11-16

Strong Winds and Sand Storms
cause granulation of the eyehds: PETTTTS
EYE SALVE soothes and quickly relieves.
All druggists or Howard Bros, Buffalo, NY.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1910-10-13
At Rest.

Walter Lorraine Smith died at
his home in Meade, Friday, Oct
ober, 7th, 1910. About four
weeks ago he was stricken with
typhoid, and although everything
that willing hands could do was
done, the dark messenger came,
Mr.. Smith has been resident
of the town twenty-three years.
He was a member of the l. O. o..
f. and Patriarchs Militant, and
the mem bers of these organiza-
tons were unceasing in their eff
forts in his behalf, several of the
brother being with him when
the final summons came.
Walter Smith was big heart
ed, good natured man, a good
citizen, and has hosts OF friends
who grive with the bereaved fam
lily. Just in the prime of life he
was taken and his loss will be
keenly felt.
He leaves widow, his father,
Ira A. Smith, and brother, e. D,
Smith and family all of Meade,
and a sister, Mrs. James M
Gray, of Atlantic Iowa, all of
whom have the heartfelt sympa'
thy of all.
The funeral was held from the
Presbyterian church Saturday
October, 9Th, the sermon being
delivered by Rev. Everett H
Sperow, pastor of that congre
CATION, the l. o. o. F. and tb,
Patriarchs Militant bodies tax
ing part. The remains wer
laid to rest in Graceland GENE
terry.
An obituary notice will appea
next week.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1910-10-13
Catholic Church Dedicated.

On last Friday morning at ~
a. m. the Right Rev. Bishop John
]. Hennessey of the Diocese OF
Wichita assisted by Rev. Fathers
Bogner of Garden City, Monnett
of Hooker, Cronen of Wichita,
Hull of Kinsley, Nittiteur OF
Garden City, and M. Mennis OF
Dodge City dedicated the Catho-
lie Church at this place. The
day was an idealone and it seem
ed that Nature was in keeping
with the sacredness Of the occas-
ion. After the dedication serv-
ices were concluded Bishop Hen
nessey delivered very able SER
mon which could not be but ben
eficial to those who heard it. II
was a sermon in which there
was good for followers of any or
no creed. Immediately after
the sermon the sacrament oi
Confirmation was administered
to a class of about thirty-hve
after which High Mass was
celebrated. In all it was beau
fiful ceremony, and one the like
of which is seldom seen this fal
west.
The church was crowded t.
its utmost capacity, many per
sons coming from surrounding
towns and country to witness
the ceremony. The music By
the choir was very inspiring
feature and appropriate to th'
occasion. Especial mention il
due Father Hull, of Kinsley TO
the able manner in which he as
sisted the local talent here.
St. Johns Catholic Church, a
it now stands is a handsom
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1910-10-13
Republican Meetings

The following are the dates
and places of Repu bllcan meet
ings in Meade county. Good
speakers will be provided for
each occasion. Some not e d
speakers are expected to visit us
and their dates will be announce
ed in due season.
Painter school house in Sand
Creek township, Sat. Oct. Is.
Lakeview school house, Logan
township, Tuesday, October 1s.
Fowler, Saturday October ~.
Artesian school house, Crooked
Greek township, Wed. Oct. 26.
Voting place in Mertilla town
ship, Saturday, October 29.
Plains, Tuesday. November 1.
Meade, Saturday Nov. S.
The hours for each meeting
will be announced on notices
which will be distributed and
posted before each meeting. 1t
will probably be 8 O'Clock p. m.
John B. Innis, Committeeman
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1910-10-13
High School Notes

The fire gong was sounded last
Wednesday. The pupils passed
out in good order but not as fast
as is desired.
A numb Der of pupils we're abb
sent last Friday morning attend
ing the dedication at the Catholic
church.
The boys are practicing foot
ball with will preparing for
their first game which is to be
played against Dodge Saturday
on the home field.
The Geometry class is busy
at present learning the conditions
under which lines may be said
to be parallel.
Miss Beulah Marshall and Miss
Clara Flick furnished the music
last week.
We understand that we are to
lose one from our Freshmen
class. Miss Elvira Orner Of
Plains will leave soon to move
with her parents to Garden City
We have not had as many visit
ors lately as we should like tC
have. We are very anxious t.
have the patrons of our schoo
come and see what we are doing
as well as encourage us by theil
presence.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1910-10-13
Car of Alfalfa Seed.

The first of this week the
Meade Grain G. Seed company
shipped out car of alfalfa seed.
There were 800 bushels, the
price of which is about $500 per
bushel. The seed was of the best
grade and Meade County alfalfa
seed has a wide reputation for
it's superior quality. Mr.. Rey-
nolds was talking to man few
days ago who informed him that
in Little Rock, Arkansas he saw
a sack of alfalfa seed and on the
side of the sack we're the words,
"Meade County, Kansas Seed.
If the name of the Meade county
product was an unknown quantl'
ty those words would have beer
wasted and the fact of this labeI
being used proves beyond al
doubt that its worth is widely
known. Meade County is the
home of alfalfa, the best the
world produces.