The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1910-06-21

@rve got the confoundedest wife sou
ever saw
aWhat DO you mean By the word
eonfoundedest2 It conveys no mean
Ing to me-
THAT'S the reason ] apply 1t 70 my
wife. she is beyond the pale Of deani-
ton"
aDo you use the word opprobiious-
Typ
eBy no means She's a Jim dandy"
sOh. you've got something on your
mlnd-something she has been doing
Get it or and have done with II"
Fright you are. and when I've told
you voull agree with me that con
foundedest Il the best word BIZ which
Is describe her. You know We live In
tho country ana I'm commuter. BY
monthly communication ticket costs me
s2450. ! have always been used to
carrying my ticket In my hat It's
very convenient. you know. I place
1t between the lining and the crown.
II put It IN my portemonnaie. which
/ carry ia my hip pocket when I'm
hurrying to my train loaded down with
ihe bundles which all commuters are
condemned 70 carry, have a hard
time getting 1t out from under my
coat If It is In my hat I can get at
It very easily. There's a ferry nc the
city end Of the route where the ticket
must BE punched Formerly COM
uloters we're only required to show
their tickets. and we used TO Just lift
our hats ID the gateman, and he
could see the ticket It was comical
Is see z long line of passengers taking
of their bats politely to the gateman.
But the practice must have concealed
some skuliduggery, for the officers
81 the line stopped It. and now we all
must have our tickets punched
Anyway, / always carry my ticket
in my hat Well, one morning when |
went to the city / felt for my commu-
tatlon ticket, and IL was gone. II was
one I'd Just bought, and its loss in-
volved nearly S24 Thinking | might
have put It In one Of my pockets, /
ransacked them all. It wasn't in any
of them. searched the floor, but
there was nothing there. At last /
gave IL up and paid my fare.
my wife is a very economical wo-
man and considers me the perfection
OF carelessness. I knew II told her Of
ny loss she would scold me for both
wastefulness and carelessnes, ! made
up my mind to get on the best ] could
for awhile. paying my fare out Of the
loose change / carried tin the end Of
tie month, when / would buy new
ticket 1t was no use A few morn
tngs after my loss as was going out
my wife gave me the customary kiss,
at the same time handing me my hat.
She looked inside and, not seeing the
ticket, felt for It.
why, dear, she exclaimed. ]
thought you always carried your com.
mutation ticket la your hat
Il was obliged to confess | had lost
It Ny wife said i told you SO. II you
had kept 1t In your pocketbook, as |
always advised You to do YOU wouldn't
have lost it. There's s24 gone enough
to buy me a spring hat with three big
ostrich feathers.
4 hurried away, ostensibly to catch
the train. but really 10 escape a scold-
4 ing. and since It would DO cheaper to
commute even with the loss Of four
days than to pay single fares ! bought
new ticket l kept it IN my poeket-
book in my hip pocket with lot Of
memoranda. cards, etc, my cash for
daily expenses being in my vest pock-
ct had no trouble for month, when
j bought another ticket On the 9TH Of
the month when was getting ready
to SO to the city ! capped my hand to
my hip TO make sure my ticket was
i there and. behold, portemornaie. ticR-