The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1910-04-27

day in the week. Let's make a virtue
of Necessity and pretend that we We're
ready to give women the ballot 100
years ago. She's got started with her
bronmstick III hand. and we'd better
let her whack the other Teller than get
it Ourself.
Pap Gives Pointers.
And l dunno. William-I dunno, I
was rushed into this thing, but I guess
I'm kinder glad it happened. I've seen
a thousand men who couldn't tell an
old burdock from a stick Of Eastwood
walk up to the polls with their chests
swelled out and a feeling that they
was the whole United States, and on
the score of intelligence l guess the
women folks will come out way ahead.
1t won't take 'em long to post up and
know who's who. l was thinking this
think over for two hours after l got
to bed last night, and l guess the man
who falls into line now won't make
any mistake. You needn't come out
with a whOop-hurrah and a wave of
your hat, but just let it be known that
you have lifted your tyrant heel. In
case you decide to do this l have some
suggestions to make.
Jim SINNERS wife has raised eleven
children and is still at it. She has
surely rewarded her country, and now
let her country reward her. The old
gal has turned ifty-seven, but I saw
her jump a rail fence the other day as
spry as any girl. Take time bv the
forelOck or fetlock or somewhere else
and appoint her game warden for this
district. Poker is about the only game
around, but she'll catch on in a week.
The wife Of Elder Flatbush has
p1eced seven crazy quilts, made 200
yards of rag carpet and manufactured
fourteen barrels of soft soap during
her married life thus far. That's q rec
ord, William, few men can equal. 1t
would be Il nice little thing on your
part to create her an office. She might
be a commissioner of the pure food
law and go around with ak knocking
old storage eggs in the head.
Give EN- Offices.
The Widow Harper is pretty lively
In this woman's rights movement.
She doesn't go in for having a thou
sand corpses lying around loose for an
object lesson, but the grim look she
wears means business. She'd make a
fine fish commissioner. Any fish which
came her way would want an extra
tail on him to get away. Jericho
creek is full Of mud turtles and min
nows, and they ought to be looked
after. A salary Of about $40 a month
would swing the widow to our side.
and she'd talk Taft and Pinkham even
in prayer meeting.
Cy Parkinson's wife has had the
lung fever, a broken kneecap, measles,
whooping cough. rheumatism and
about forty other things and is Just
now struggling with two broken ribs
and a sore heel. She's laid in bed and
read up on this question until she can
talk hair on the head of a baldheaIed
man. She ought to be encouraged.
1t would please a hundred women to
see her encouraged. Make a little Of
fee for her. William. Let her he.
drawn around the country in a cart
with a club in hand and whack every
BODY who exposes a pesky made in
Germany picture postal card for sale.
They have become the nuisance Of the
day.
And just one more. Joe Allbright's
wife has supported him and the chill
dren for the last fifteen years by
washing and hopping for the neigh
bors. Appoint her Il sort of commits
c:>.,, 20 1I>. $500.
Tell her she can leave out the chart
ties part. but to make the correction
part strong and begin on Joe and
whale away until she is out of breath.
Jericho will be for you rs solid as the
rock of Gibraltar.
OLD PAP pINKHAM.
present Postmaster. You Betn