The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1910-12-30
What Fashion
Does

just at tea-time. In my present con-
dition l need strengthening
"You don't look particularly fra
gile," scoffed the hostess. What's
the trouble?'
"Hatst said the visitor sepulchral-
ly. There really isn't any use of say
ing any more than that one word, but
I am so filled with emotion that I've
got to get it out of my system. For
the last two years every time I've
gone to buy hat I've had to be resus-
citated with kind words and the as
surance that they never can be worse
than they are now, so hope onl' But
at last I've given up hope.
Il fully expect that some day when
/ 60 to buy a hat the lovely golden
haired salesperson will trot out
baby grand piano with its insides ex-
cavated and a fringe of tin cans
around the edge and laughingly tell
me it's the yur-ry latest style. That's
about the only thing they haven't SOLD
us in the guise of headgear! We've
worn cartwheels and peach baskets
and bushel baskets and pancakes on
our benighted heads and We're pretty
well trained and humble and all that
1 but today almost finished mel
you see, If you can get used t9
this winters hats gradually the shock
isn't so bad but when they burst
upon you in one overwhelming ex
plosion with no warning it may be
almost fatal
"All summer and fall I've been over
in Michigan summer resort, where
we didn't wear hats at all. You rather
forget that there are such things, to-
gether with trolley cars and city
noises ] saw pictures of hats in the
newspaper advertisements, but some
how they didn't seem real--they we're
merely bad dreams. But today when
\ really tackled the question, l woke
up with bump! Why, the things
are real! They actually do exist!
Il wandered around one hat depart
ment and my spirits kept getting low
er and lower | don't know when I've
felt SO sad-not since my French
poodle choked to death on a chicken
bone When the polite clerks asked
me mechanically if was waited on
just waved them away speechlessly.
1t was all ! could do to bear up un-
der the strain without bursting into
bitter tears Most OF the hats were
Just like sections Of overgrown stove
pipes and apparently were designed
to cover you up completely to your
neck OF course this saves lot of
time in dressing the hair, because any
coiffure is completely ruined and
smashed by putting on the things.
All over the department ! could see
distracted customers with their locks
streaming wild and free, just like
I inmates Of a lunatic asylum. These
people looked as though their heads
had been sat on and without excep-
ton their faces indicated that they
mad just heard bad news from home
"Would you like to try 1t on?' q
clerk mur1nured at my elbow.
q was holding in my hand wad
Of gloomy velvet with frizzled rose
bud attached to one edge. 1t appealed
to me as a daring and dubious under
taking, so I got under the hat. The
effect would have moved heart oi
stone but that woman never winkeC
an eyelash. She even went the length
Of saying it was chawmingl' Ther
she caught my accusing eye and has
tened to hedge.
"You know she said soothingly
that you aren't expected to have am
hair this season. You are allowed
only one eye and part of a nose. A
least, that is all that is visible afte
your hat IS clamped on. Really, wheI
you get used to it, it isn't so badr
Z Il reminded her sternly that the,
say one can get used to hanging II
time. From that hat we went from
bad to worse. At the tenth / mur
INJURED to the clerk: DO l look like
that in this?
"She glanced over at the custome
whom | indicated. The customer ha,
Just put on an extinguisher with gol'
braid and a dewdad II hid her hea,
clear below her ear on one side an,
on the other the brim extended unit
ii trailed on her shoulder and yol
could zee just the tip Of her nose out
side 1t.
That?' asked the clerk, eyidentl,
taking my tone for one of enyiou
awe "Oh, my, yes Only more sol
Then take this away told bei
violently, because I have relative
with family pride and they are capa
bic of walling me up alive in tn
cellar to hide their disgrace If / &
home looking like that
But you've got to be in stylel
she demonstrated. There's no us
buying a new hat that looks like thre
years back, and, besides, there aren
any in stock but this kind SO wha
are you going to do? You can't hel
yourselfl
Even So, ! told her. oh, II
buy section Of stovepipe eventually
but first want to call on all m
2 friends SO they may remember m
! face as it once was. After / put o
one OF those things they won't b
able to tell whether it is l or m
worst enemy.
"she seemed quite indignant an