Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-02-18

| Ehe Fiear-Now, children, what u
false doctrine? Inspired Maiden
Please, sir. bad medicine.
| Young Woman (adoringly) 1t must
| be awfufly nice TO be wise and know
oh everything! College Student
It is.
| What did YOU say last night when
Jack asked you TO marry hbm?' Il
shook my head. Sideways or up and
down?"
She--How did you know l was go
/ ing to wear my hair curled this even
lng7 He-I saw 1t in the papers this
morning,
First Fair Invalid-Which kind of
doctor do You prefer--the allopathic
or the homeopathic? Second Fair In
valid prefer the sympathetic.
Bobhie Ito Featherstone) did YOU
know that you were relative of ours?
| Featherstone Since when? Mother
| says You are our weak brother
| Boy man came in and said he
wanted to squeeze some money out Of
YOU What did you tell him?
Boy said / was sorry you weren't
in.
| Kitty" said her mother rebuking-
| ly, you must sit still when you are
at the table" Il can't mamma" pro-
tested the little girl. I'm a fidge-
tarian"
ON what ground, madam. do YOU
desire divorce from your husband?"
"Intolerable cruelty; he put the date
of my birth in the family Bible
Chicago News
What a bad toothache you've got
NO; but I'm calling on the dentist for
the money he owes me, and this is the
only way / can get into his house -
Fliegende Batter.
| Women votel Never, sir, with my
consent" why not?' What! And
have my wife losing thirty-doliar hats
| to other women ON the election9"-
Boston Transcript
Mrs. Newbride Boohoo Henry
threw a biscuit at me. One that
made myself. too Mother-The mon
ster! He might have killed yon.~-
| United Presbyterian.
How much does it cost to get mar
ried?" asked the eager youth. Fhat
depends entirely on how long yoa
live" replied the sad,looking mani
Philadelphia Record.
Isn't your hat rather curious in
shape2 asked the uniformed man,
Certainly" answered his wife. II has
10 be. Any hat that wasn't curious Ia
shape would look queer"
The Girl (rather weary, at 1880 p.
Im - don't know thing about base
ball The Beau-Let me explain 1t to
you The Girl-Very we'll, give me an
illustration of home run.
Lottie--Is your young minister so
very. very fascinating? Hattie--F'as-
einating Why, lots of girls in our
church have married men they hated,
just to get one kiss from the rector
after the ceremony.--Puck.
Chumpleigh-,Wel my dear, | had
my life insured for $4,000 today. Mrs.
ChumpIeigh Pm glad you did, John.
Now you won't have TO be so careful
about lodging street cars and auto
mobiles. Chicago Daily News.
The American eagle" said the ora
tor knows no fear Yes, replied
Mr. Sirius Barker, the American eagle
is mighty lucky Any bird that isn't
good enough to eat has a right to CON
graduate itself these days - Washing
ton Star.
Physician Have you any aches or
pains this morning? Patient-Yes,
doctor; 1t hurts me TO breathe; in fact,
the only trouble now seems to be with
my breath Physician--All right III
give you something that will soon stop
that Boston Globe
Aunt Spinsterly hope that your
opinions uphold the dignity of our sex,
Mamie and that you believe that every
woman should have a vote? Mamie
don't 90 quite SO far As that. auntie;
but J believe that every woman should
have a voter! Human Life.
Modern Girl Father, I long to be IL
dependent to rely upon my own exer-
tions for support. What trade or pro-
ression would you recommend? Wise
Father-First class cooks made $4,000
year. Modern girl don't like cook
Ing. It's too feminine New York
| Weekly.
Or. McCree My dear Mrs Goodman.
how could YOU bring out a young child
on such a day as this, with such
strong east wind blowing? Mrs. Good
man doctor, you will always have
your little joke. How can a child Of
this age possible know what wind ii
is?-Tit- Bits.
II hope you don't mind me asking"
said the young woman, difidently,
bat should call you professor IT
doctor?' "Oh, call me anything you