davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-04-06
Fun
Facts
Fiction
Froth
Fads
Folly

cat into a tub OF water and tied
brick around it's neck; and what
do you think?
Short-Goodness knows.
Long-Well, this morning, when
l went to look at the tub the cat
had swallowed all the water and
was sitting on the brick.
M. Vassalieff, a millionaire bach
elor of st. Petersburg, Russia, be-
queathed his entire fortune to pro-
vide poor engaged couples with the
means of getting married and set
ting up in comfortable homes.
Two festive ones were ambling
homeward at an early hour, after
being out all night.
Don't your wife miss you on
these occasions?" asked one.
mot often" replied the other;
"she throws pretty straight
London has gone mad over rub
Der speculation, but in this coun-
try we calmly eat steak that would
be a perfect substitute for the COM
modify,
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-04-06

Politician want to talk to you,
sir, about a remark you made con-
corning me in your paper. You
called me political jobber, sir."
Newspaper Man-Yes, it was a
very annoying printers error, and
| promptly discharged the compos-
itOr.
Politician-Ah. Then you didn't
mean to call me a 'jobber"?
Newspaper Man-No, sir. l wrote
"robber' very distinctly.
Harold-What bright girl Eva
is. She seldom opens her mouth
without pearls dropping therefrom.
Blanche-Where did you get that
idea? Have her teeth been falling
out again?
Nine. Charlotte Mesnard, a grand
daughter of the great Napoleon, is
a school teacher in Paris.
Short thought you were going
to drown that cat?
Long-Well, they say a cat has
nine lives. but this one has 20, I
think. Why, l actually put that
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-04-06

minded ward from the count,
infirmary is to attend in body.
VERITAS.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-04-06
JUST KIDDING.

If you have a nice warm pair,
Keep 'em on.
They were made for you to wear
Keep 'em on.
Lite him go without who fears
Neither rheumatism nor queers
Till in heaven or - he appears
Keep 'em on.
If the gentle zephyr blows,
Keep 'em on.
May be poety or prose,
Keep 'em on.
Let old Sol be hotter yet
Till you lather into sweat,
But it better-yes, you bet
Keep 'em on.
Do you think the weather mild?
Keep 'cm on.
Hear the robin from the wild?
Keep 'em on.
Young mans fancy in the spring
May all right in meter ring,
Don't you do it, NO, by jung;
Keep 'em on.
o. Y. KYDD.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-04-06

Archibald SMOOTH was a lover of
nature. At his snug suburban farm
he dabbled in the gentle art of
tree doctoring.
We find him today away up in a
stately elm taking off an unsightly
limb.
"One more stroke of the saw" he
murmured, land l will come down"
His words came true, for
(The Enid
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-04-06

Your correspondent, who had
rheumatism of the hand, is some
improved at this writing. Excuse
penmanship.
The fifth colored quartet In two
weeks has made this town, and our
citizens are beginning to say "Ah"
for a."
Burt Friedmush is expecting to
make extensive repairs on his
house bought recently from Zed
Hornswoggle. Not knocking the
house, but it certainly needs q
whole lot did to it.
Several came home from the oys-
ter supper last Tuesday night
stewed. Yet there is nothing par
ticularly inebriating about mere
oyster. 1t must have been the cat
sup.
Tom Henbrooder has bought
Moss Onionseed's meat market.
Who says Goosevale doesn't boast
no millionaires?
The present fine weather is be.
ing wisely improved by the indus
triOus agriculturist.
The coming minstrel show by
home talent is to be a continuous
roar from start to finish. The fee
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-04-06
STORY OF THE SUMS cANDLEPoWER

The candlepower of the is 1575,0O0, 000 100000
100000 100000 lighted candles. Here's how you get
that: One octillion, SIS septillons, then down
bunch Of ciphers through the sextons, quintllons,
gradrions, trillions billions, Millions hundreds of
Thousands and units. Don't count them but if you
could bring that number of candles together and get
them all burning all at the instant the scientists
say you d have light equal to that of our sun.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-04-06
TWO MINUTE VAUDEVILLE
BY FRED SCHAEFER.

THUD Where's friend McSwat today?
SLAP: Oh, he's at home playing one-handed crbbage
THUD: What's onehanded cribbage?
SLAP: Playing solitaire with hand and rocking the babys
crib
THUD: Who
SLAP: Nobody wins-McSwat time. Il
THUD: I Is him. 4
SLAP home
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1910-04-06

An Oregon judge is being
made fun of for having re-
fused citizenship papers to
an applicant because the
latter doesn't know iona
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1910-05-19

The couple came over and
found the usual difficulty in To-
eating a minister. They desired
a ceremony with excess Of sim
plicity. There were but q few
witnesses.
The bride is an uncommonly
pretty young woman who has
been in the Granville town but
TWO months and a tinge of very
sweet romance goes into the
junction Of hearts. Her parents
are not living and she became
Mr.: Sanderford's sweetheart
while engaged In her profession
as a milliner.
MIR. Sanderford Is a young
druggist Of Creedmoor, being
associated with his father. The
couple took In the moving pic
lures last night as a climax to
a very pretty wedding picture.
They left Wednesday for Creed
moor.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1910-05-19
This Happened in Birmingham

always been skeptical about patent medi-
e'ues. Doctors would laugh at me when
j told them ] was thinking Of trying 20
and 90, and ] thought they were right,
but now ! know better and advise All
who have stomach trouble 10 try the
Globe Tonic Medicine, for know they
have saved my boy. II you doubt this
phone Peoples ais W."
Reader. Il is a well known fact that
Globe Tonic has cured thousand Of peo-
pie Of Indigestion and Stomach Trouble
here m your home city and state. and
proof issues al sides. wher you feel too
bad TO work and not bad enough 70 quit.
when you have a dull. tired. stupid
sluggish feeling. your head aches. your
BACK aches. Just feel bad ali over. p
don I get the spring fever. but start 10
axe S,oDe Tonic a once. and you will
certainly be benefited. Call while our
demonstration is in progress lies Church
street, Dnrham, N. {.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1910-05-19
Local Tax Carried.

Tuesday was election day in
loves Grove district and the
friends Of special tax are jubil-
ant over the fact that the local
tax was carried by a good MAORI
ty.
There are about 40 registered
voters in the election and the
workers for the local tax wor
easily.
The voting Of this, local tar
means much to this school dis.
trict. The board Of education
will at once begin the erection
of one Of the modern school
houses that are to be found In
many sections Of the county,
The local tax will enable the
school to run nine months and
the board of education furnishes
the house to carry on school
work in good shape.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1910-05-19

Miss Lizzie Hall and Mr.. Z.
H. Williams. both Of Rougemont,
were married Tuesday shortly
after noon. Rev. Z. r. Leyburn
of the First Presbyterian church
officiating.
The couple came over on the
Norfolk & Western train at Ills
and searched for a minister,
finding Rev. G. T. Adams and
Rev. DR.. Lynch away. Mr.. Ley.
burn was secured and the work
done well. They are stopping at
the Corcoran.
Mr.. Bruce Sanderfo.d, Of Creed.
moor and Miss Mary Madison, Il
Charlottesville. Va, were mar.
ried Tuesday night In the parlol
Of the Corcoran hotel, Rev. Sid.
lney s. Bost officiating.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1910-05-19
BY GETTING One OF THESE SAMPLE,
It's Hurry Up to Get Choice. First Come First Served
We Must Get Away in Few Days. So Time is Short
and the Inducements Offered. 22S West Main.
Opposite Traction Office. Open Till $50
P. M. Daily

colonial styles, elegant mahogany
veneers, worth the world over fsso.
s575 and 500 TO $500. can be bought al
this sale while they last at s1qz. Sac.
s797, f52S, on terms 10 suit you.
We do not deem Il necessary to quote
further prices and easy terms. You'll
have TO see these pianos 70 fully appre-
eiate the great values that may be OBJ
tanned, Il you can buy nov.
Every piano we sell Is warranted 10
be as represented and to give full salts.
faction or your money will be refunded.
Sidney I,anier, the sweet Southern
poet, said: Music is love IN search Of
a word. and often told his hearts story
upon flute, which enchanted the soul.
He never knew the Joy Of sitting down
IN mystic twilight hour, softly running
his delicate fingers over the ivory KEYS
OF Kinlbali piano which contains be.
meath lis modest exterior tie whole
gamut Of tones and colors, which divine.
" combine 20 define music and love
love and music.
There Is an opportunity for YOU, good
friends, 20 learn the meaning. The
''Kimball'' Is revelation 70 the dream.
ers and revolution 10 the artists.
Buy now while you can save money
Store open every evening this week
to accommodate those who cannot come
during the day-228 West Main, oppo.
site Traction Office.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1910-05-19
Mr.. Borch. Well Known
Grocer, Corner 18th
st, and Avenue F,
Made Happy.

paul, my son aged IS years. has
suffered from stomach trouble for the
past FIVE years and have been wasting
my money trying 10 get him well. fof
nothing seemed 70 do any good. aud my
doctor bill has been very large. but
thanks 10 the Globe Tonic Remedies.
for read an advertisement last week ia
the birmingham News aud saw where 4
child had expelled a tape-worm BY this
medieiue and decided % ny il on Paul.
my son. and 90 my great surprise he ex.
PEELED tape-worui 81 feet lofg the same
evening he took the medicine. have
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1910-05-19

The exhibit q Kimball Pianos Is over
and il was grand success from an adj
yertising point Of view. Now they must
be sold In short time, and in order to
do so we realize that the inducenent
must be offered.
These seventeen samples will be left
here for future references in making
subsequent sales, but in no case will the
pianos be sold at these prices after we
leave here. Also no duplicate orders
win be taken at these factory prices and
no pianos will be sold to agents or any
one 10 resell. They must be placed in
homes of the best people in the county.
The factory would not consider the
exhibit success unless We left them all
here.
Tags Tell the Savings.
Every piano 10 marked in plain figures
IA child can make as good selection az
the hardest bargain driver In the land.
II is not an ossrdrzwn statement when
ve say at this sale greater price induce
nents and easier terms Of payment are
offered than al any other .ifiie and place
In the history Of this country.
Remarkable Piano Bargains.
These are all new samples-pisnos
night from the factory as you know and
have not been In snybody's house or
trial as Is the custom here. Fine hand
some pianos, best grade. in fancy Or
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1910-05-19

The first game Of base ball by
the city league teams will take
place at the new park next
Saturday. when all Of the. teams
will play their first game. The
teams composing the league are
East Durham, West Durham.
Hosiery Mills and the Y. NJ. c.
A. The promise Ia that some
good games will be played. and
they will be games 10 which
Durham people will be interested
because they know and come IN
daily contract with the players.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1910-05-19
SPECIAL yESIRE SUMMONED.
Superior Court Began Monday. :
KOonce Patterson on Trial.

Durham superior court for the
trial Of criminal cases convened
Monday morning with Judge
Adams on the bench.
The first thing to claim the
attention of the court was the
selection Of a grand jury, which
resulted as follows.
J.W. Rogers. C. H. Burch, G.
T. High, ]. S. Horner, G. w.
Lumley, L. C. Norwood, H. O.
Hudson, w. G. Harvard, B. G.
| O'Neal, A. L. Weatherspoon, H.
T. Hopson. A. w. Gates. ]. j.
Baldwin, 0. 7. Carver, H. B.
Horrey. Philip Moore. ]. R. F.
Pageand F. S. Mangum. Mr..
Weatherspoon was made fore
man.
The selection of the grand jury
was followed by the charge of
Judge Adams, which is said to
have been comprehensive sum-
ming up of the dutiesof the jury.
Following is list of cases the
court has called and tried:
State VS. Will Kimball and Ella
Walker, f. and q; not guilty.
State VS. Oscar Ray, embezzle-
ment; guilty. not sentenced.
State VS. Hick Davis, resisting
officer; not guilty.
State VS. Kick Davis, assault;
guilty.
State VS. Hick Davis, assault
and battery; nolpros witch leave.
State VS. John Brown; carrying
concealed weapon, pleads not
guilty. Jury finds him guilty,
not sentenced.
State VS. James Thompson.
abandonment and non support;
guilty, IL months on road.
State VS. Ed Dalton, |. and r;
guilty, IL months on roads.
State VS. Thos. Browning, as.
sault with deadly weapon; plead
guilty, not sentenced.
State VS. VIM. NOVEL;, EN-.
bezzlement; guilty, not sentenc.
ed.
State VS. Eugene Brown and
Albert Lyon. gambling; guilty.
State VS. Clarence Hamilton,
forgery; guilty. not sentenced.
State VS. Thos. Linthicum
pleads guilty; 16 months on th,
RI ads.
State VS. Ollie Burnell, EN-
bezzIement; called and failed.
State VS. Shirley Shaw, EN-
bezzlement; guilty, no sentence
Tuesday the case of Koonc'
Patterson was called and
special venire of 100 men wa
ordered summoned.
Thursday morning the Sc
lection Of a jury in the Koonc'
Patterson case was begun ant
by the noon recess the jury hat
been selected and several wit
nesses examined. Among tn
witnesses in this case is Solomon
Shepard, who is serving time il
the penitentiary for killing En-
gineer Holt.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1910-05-19

The county road force are at
work or the short stretch Of road
between Durham and Wake
counties that is necessary to
complete the trip from Durham
to Raleigh on good roads. The
permanent work on this road
will be made in the near future.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1910-05-19

Every one who has tried Globe
Tonic is well pleased and recon-
mends it TO bis friends.
The Bemidji daily pioneer., 1910-01-19
.BRYAN,S FRIENDS AT
ONCE DENY Del REPORT
Announced That Nebraskan Will
Be Candidate in 1912.

Omaha, Jan. 19.-"William J.. Bryan
will be candidate for president in
1872"
This announcement was made by
the Omaha Bee, with the explanation
that the statement is attributed to
Richard l.. Metcalf, editor of Mr.. Bry-
ans Commoner. 1t is further said
that the Democratic leaders in Ne.
braska are being called to the Com
moner Office and told the news, with
the order that they get out and work
for his nomination. -:
Under no circumstances will Mr..
Bryan be a candidate for the United
States senate, is the announcement
made with the report that Mr.. Bryan
again will be candidate for the pres
idency. 49, -.-- -
Men close to Mr. Bryan at Lincoln
denied that any moveIent was max
ing for his candidacy for the presi-
dency in 1912. Richard L. Metcalf
SAID:
"I have no idea that Mr.. Bryan has
any thought of being a candidate in
1912. / have not issued any summons
to any politicians nor held any con-
ferences. I have always believed that
the people of Nebraska would insist
upon Mr.. Bryan being the Democratic
nominee for senator regardless of his
personal wishes"
The Bemidji daily pioneer., 1910-01-19
OPPOSITION GAINS
NOT LARGE ENOUGH
Liberals and Lab0riteS VIII Con.
troll Parliament

London, Jan. 19.-Completed returns
from Mondays elections for members
OF parliament made the standing of the
parties to date as follows:
Government-Coaliti 70;
Laborites, II; Irish Nationalists, 16.
Opposition - Unionists, 96; net
Unionist gain, 80.
Unless the Conservatives take de-
cided brace from the decentralization
that Mondays voting indicated the
best political forecasters are predict
ing that the Liberals, with the aid of
Laborites, will control the next par
lament without calling upon the Irish
Nationalists for single vote.
The Conservative ratio is decreas.
ing and there are many who believe
the total gain will not exceed eighty
seats. This estimate is on the basis
of practically solid Liberal represen.
tation from Scotland and Wales.
AS the Laborites themselves are
making slight gains the Liberals may
be able to lose as many as ninety
seats and still retain control, indie.
pendent of the Irish Nationalists.
While the Liberal leaders expect to
work in harmony with the Irish mem
bers there is no disputing the fact
that harmony would be a doubtful
quantity if the Nationalists clearly
held the balance of power.
The Bemidji daily pioneer., 1910-01-19
CANNOT MEET
DEMANDS MADE
Germany's Reply to Our New
Tariff Regulations.
MAY MEAN A TRADE WAR

Feeling In tho kaiser's Country That
the Recent American Revision Was
Designed With tho Object of Re-.
strloting Business With the Empire.
Temper Of That Country Is Against
Making Further Concessions.
Berlin, Jan. 19.-The German gov
ernment has cabled to Washington a
reply to a memorandum recently re-
oeived from the United States relating
to the tariff on shipments between the
two countries. While it does not &C.
cept the American wishes in various
respects, and especially concerning
the importation Of meat, the German
response is sent in the hope that it
will be satisfactory and as all that
the German government can do.
The reply was dispatched with a
certain feeling of gravity because of
the feeling that Germany can do no
more and must be prepared for trade
hostilities should the United States,
unhappily, insist on more than Ger
many accords to other countries.
Chancellor Won Bethmann-HollWeg
and his associates, the imperial min
listers, appear convinced that the COM
bined Conservative, Center and Nation
al Liberal parties OF the reichstag
The Bemidji daily pioneer., 1910-01-19
CHANCELLOR Won BETHMANN-
HOLlWE0.

would block the way to any departure
from the present laws covering the
importation of meats The govern
.ment has received the opinions of the
leaders of those parties and moreover
has gathered widely the views of
manufacturing interests.
1t is cited at this time that In pro-
mitigating the American-German tariff
agreement in 1907 President Roose-
velt stated that Germany was giving
to the United States more than she
was receiving.
1t is further pointed out that now,
the American tariff revision having
been made, as is constantly asserted
in all quarters, with the design of limit
ing German trade with the United
States, and a request being made that
Germany shall make further impossi-
BILE concessions, the general temper of
the country, as indicated by the cham
bers of commerce, the reichstag, finan-
cial journals and the governmental
special inquiries, is steadfast in what
is considered sound position, namely,
to take whatever comes.
The Bemidji daily pioneer., 1910-01-19

the United States circuit court of ap-
banker and he may be removed to the
prison within the next twenty-four
hours. =
Walsh is ready. Following the re-
ceipt by him of vague rumors from
Washington offering little hope he
spent all of Sunday arranging his af-
fairs. All day long, with two deputy
United States marshals standing near,
he sat at his desk signing papers and
settling up financial matters in con-
nection with the failure of his three
banks in 1905.
Long Fight to Avoid Prison.
Since Jan. 18, 1908, Walsh has en-
ployed every legal weapon in a bitter
was convicted on fifty-four counts of
an indictment involving nine series of
transactions, the loaning of the money
of three Walsh enterprises-the Chi
cago National bank, Home Savings
bank and Equitable Trust company
chase of bonds of the Illinois South
ern and Wisconsin and Michigan rail-
roads. -..-..
According to the prosecution these
memorandum notes" were issued for
an amount just below the legal limit,
usually for $4,000, and were signed
with the names of certain of Walsh's
employees without their knowledge or
consent. The collateral for these notes
was the bonds Of Walsh's personal
enterprises, which the government
contended were practically worthless.
The notes, it was claimed, were to be
discounted in the banks, cashiers 3
checks made out to a dummy and
then deposited by Walsh to his own
credit in the bank and the money
later used to further his private en-
terprises. The indictment against
Walsh contained 1872 counts and was
returned Jan. 1, 1907. It charged mis-
appropriation of $7,0OO,0OO. His case
was called Nov. ~, 1907, and the jury
declared Walsh guilty on Jan. II, 1908,
sustaining these counts and naming
his misappropriation at $1,000,000.
On March 13 motion for a new trial
was overruled and the former banker
sentenced to five years Imprisonment
in the Leavenworth penitentiary. On
Oct. the circuit court of appeals
affirmed the decision of the lower
court. Several weeks ago petition
for q writ to review the case was pre-
sented to the supreme court of the
United States by Attorney John S.
Miller for Walsh. ~
The Bemidji daily pioneer., 1910-01-19
SUBSCRIPTIOA---S5.OO PER YEAR IN ADVANCE
"DlSClPLE OF THE PEOPLE" IS TROUBLE
MAKER.

The Fairmont Sentinel, Frank A.
Days paper, accused Senator Clapp
of voting for a ship subsidy bill.
John c. Applegate, of the Cannon
Falls Beacon, pronounced the charge
unture, but the Sentinel would not
back water until the Beacon had
heard directly from Senator Clapp
upon the subject. In the current
issue of the Beacon it published the
senator's reply, in which he abso-
lutely stated that he never voted
for ship subsidy measure.
The leader of Minnesota's Democ-
racy will now be compelled to cease
publishing in his excellent paper
this particular charge, but inasmuch
as he is qui foxy proposition it
will not be long before he will con-
coct similar untrue and ridiculous
stories about Republican officials to
be sprung whenever it is deemed
expedient.- -Wadena Pioneer oar.
nal.
The latest feat of the official
"framer" of the Kitchen cabinet
was causing to be published in St.
Paul and spread broadcast over the
state the statement that the result
of the recent night for the election OF
a president of the State Fair Board,
choosing of Mr.. Underwood, was a
clean-cut victory for the supporters
of Governor Eberhart and defeat
for Robert C.. Dunn and his friends.
This was followed up by a claim
that John King, one of Days hench.
men, made the election of Mr..
Underwood possible. One state
ment was about as near the truth as
the other-and both were fabrica-
tions, pure and simple. Neither
Mr.. Dunn or Governor Eberhart
made one suggestion as to whom
they would prefer elected president
of the state fair board; and as to
John King controlling the election
of a fair president-well, that is
certainly refreshing.
The Bemidji daily pioneer., 1910-01-19
HIS DlsBARMENT IS ASKED
Prominent South Dakota Lawyer Faces
Charges.

Prominent South Dakota Lawyer Faces
Charges.
Pierre, S. D., Jan. 19.-Papers have
been filed in the supreme court and
service has been secured in a disbar
ment procedure which promises some
of the features Of the Egan case be
fore it is finished. The attorney
against whom the proceedings have
been commenced is George P. Harden
of Platte, one Of the prominent old
time practitioners of the southern part
Of the state.
The order to show cause in the case
Is made returnable in the supreme
court on Wednesday,, Jan. 26. Just
when the case will be heard on It's
merits will be settled at the time OF
the hearing on the order. ,..
On account of the prominence OF
Harden, both In law and politics in
the southern part of the state and the
manner of the charges made against
him by those who seek his disbarment,
the case promises to be practically as
sensational as has been the Egan dis.
barment proceedings.