Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-01-11
Miseellaneous Reading.
TRIBULArIoNs OF AN EDITOR.
Wrong Things Just Would Creep Into
the Trumpet Blast.

Wrong Things Just Would Creep Into
the Trumpet Blast.
Seemed as If couldn't help getting
myself in trouble every once in a while,
time was running the Geeville Trum-
pet Blast of Freedom" said the ex-
editor, through a fateful knack l had
of printing things in the paper that
might better have been left imprint
ed. In jocose mood one week 1 re-
turned thanks to Geevilles only BUTCH
er, Fritz Schneider, a phlegmatic lit
tie Dutchman, for some bologna sau-
sage he had laid on our table," and
wound up the item with:
. WAS it good? We should say So!
Fact of the matter is, 1t was dos-gone
good"
Il regarded that as quite neat; point.
ed but good natured. And it would
have passed along all right II the hell
hound Of the opposition up the street
hadn't come out next week and wanted
to know If an honest, industrious Gee
vile merchant was to be insulted and
his business injured by the too palpa-
BILE insinuation of backbiting, SLAM
dering, unscrupulous, decaying sheet.
whose would-be trumpet blasts 1t was
but base fiattery to call toots OF the
despised fishhorn.
Our esteemed and genial butchers
sausages are dog gone!' my amiable
contemporary howled in that issue Of
his paper. Dog gone is gone dog, isn't
it? And what is gone dog? PrattlinS
childhood even need not be told, and
will mayhap point the deprecating fin
ger Of scorn and Indignation at Fritz
Schneider as the man who fabricates
his sausage from It! That our worthy
and capable butcher has been patient
under such a base insinuation so long
pains but does not surprise us. Fritz
Schneider is patient man. But what
of his gone dog sausage? And what
of the Fish Horns basenessT
II was just writing a reply to this
burst of slime from my low lived con-
temporary, as l was pleased to call 1t,
and was saying that Fritz Schneider
was indeed a patient man, and well the
slush wallower up the street knew 1t,
for Fritz has been waiting now seven
months for the three shillings the star
yelling Of the opposition sheet owed him
for chuck steak and pigs liver, when
the once door opened with bang and
in came Fritz himself sputtering mad.
"Py chimmitty socks!" he shouted
dancing about and shaking his fists at
me. You are making in der bapers
daidt togs Of mine sissage oudt! Don-
nervetter l am your nose twisting of
alretty; 1 am soon schlocking you on
der cope yeti Daidt togs Of mine sis
sige in! Himmel! If am not holdting
in mineself der will plodt be shpillinsl
Anyhow, you will your bapers pc shtop-
ping me! Yaw Qvick, alretty!'
II tried to calm tine irate little
butcher and explain matters to him,
but he was too much hurt. He danced
and fumed.
"'Daidt togs of mine sissige I'M
he cried. 'Chimmitty socks! Und
you mind Acknowledgement will pc
moving too, from der bapers oudt!
Und sometimes baidt me your haidt,
1 viii maype your nose pc twisting off
yet, alretty! I will see me lader!'
And the indignant butcher gave
me a parting shake Of his fists under
my nose and went banging out The
hellhound Of tine opposition's dastardly
plot had made good.
"I had reasons satisfactory to myself
at a critical time in the state Of the
money market to want to stand well In
favor with the lady whose hospitality
as head OF a boarding house was then
enjoying as guest at regular rates.
l had casually remarked about that
time that would hand 1t to her latter
part of next week, at the same time
asking her If she and her daughter
would accept a couple Of complimenta-
ry editorial tickets for the minstrel
SHOW tlldt was ullieu loi q Hi6ht VI wv
in Geeville. That made hit with her
at once. She said they would be only
too delighted, and I passed my plate
for second helping of the mackerel
at supper that night.
Il was running a little gossipy de-
rartment in my local page under the
heading of Small Talk Little jots
of local bearing something like these,
according to the season or topic upper
most:
Spring time Is come, gentle Annie.
Ought to be the happy lanu o1 ca
nine just now-dogtooth violets, dog
wood blossoms, Johnny jum- pups?
The six dollar a week city boarder
putting on twenty dollar week lugs
is en- tap.
And so on and so forth every week.
Kinklytop's Minstrels were to show In
Geeville. The Trumpet Blast had had
a. 50 ad from it. The time was along
in the fall. l collected my 81 at the
box office and then requested the time
honored privilege Of the usual compli-
mentary press tickets.
Il noticed that the manager Of the
show was grouty and short with me,
but l wasn't quite prepared for his pos
!tive refusal to give the tickets. re-
quested an explanation Of this unheard
cf ignoring of the customary courtesy.
The manager produced the Trumpet
Blast of that very weeks issue, out
that day, and pointed to a spot under
the heading of my pet Small Talk
read what he pointed at, the first two
jots in the column:
Tine melancholy days are come.
"Kinklytop's Minstrels are with US.
Il tried to explain to the manager
that this apparent insinuation was
entirely due to inadvertence, but he
wouldn't have it that way, and l had
to deposit one of the fat two dollars
had collected for tine show ad. to get
the two seats l had invited the land
lady and her daughter to accept
That wasn't the worst Of It, The
landlady heard in some way that in.