The San Francisco call., 1910-07-10
(iS SOl
III
W
By Robert Barr

~ NE reason that so many crimi-
nails are caught is because they
almost invariably neglect to
rehearse their crimes before
hand and thus fail to discover where
the weaknesses of their scheme lie. An
admirably executed misdeed must have
no clew hanging from it, to result aft
erward in an admirably executed mis-
ooer To leave generalities and come
down TO particulars this article is a.
sort OF one chaptered rehearsal of what
may become, If not nipped in the bud,
biography of Mark Twain
often urged Mark Twain to write
his autobiography, for life which in
cluded rinsing gravel in search of gold
on short rations in Nevada, lecturing
- in San Francisco in the wild hope of
filling an empty house and an empty
pocket. challenging a newspaperman
with whom he had no quarrel to fight a
duel merely because he had been left
In charge OF the opposition paper and
felt that he must keep up the honor
able traditions Of the Nevada press,
flying from the territory because he
received an intimation from the gov
ernor that he would get two years just
to see how the anti-dueling law
worked. dining as the honored guest
OF the most naughty emperor in the
most exclusive court OF the world, and
Epringing from obscurity to universal
fame practically in a single night, GER
tainly contained material for an un-
usually interesting volume.
Urging this upon him once. he said
meditatively:
'An autobiography unimbued with
truth is valueless."
But you would not need TO resort
to fiction. The plain truth would beat
any one else's Imagination"
If told the plain truth about some
people I have known" he drawled
sadly, they would take me out and
lynch me-"
The first glimmer OF an idea that
he could perhaps tell story came to
Mark Twain when he was IA years
old. and 1t set him thinking. He saw
something happen that interested him,
and on returning home he told it to
his comrade. Jim McDaniels. a son of
the man who kept the local shoe shop
and-strange combination-confec
cry store. He related the incident SOL
emnly. with absolute unvarnished ac-
curacy. yet McDaniels, first bursting
into shouts OF laughter, finally rolled
OF his chair and writhed on the floor
.: This reception OF a harmless, almost
statistical account of unembellished
. veracity puzzled Mark. Either truth
was a commodity so unfamiliar to the
western mind as TO be hailed with ire
pressible hilarity, or else there was
something in his narration different
from the methods Of the ordinary, ev-
eryday teller OF tales. Reflection in
cIined him toward the latter theory,
and the belief grew that If he got his
chance he might yet reduce some Sec
tion OF the world to the condition in
which he had placed Jim McDaniels.
Although fame came to him in bulk
on the publication of The Innocents
Abroad" yet long before that the in
toxicating draft had been measured
out to him on the installment plan
First he achieved the local fame that
Nevada furnished, and later he Joined
10 It the celebrity that became his in
California. But the Rocky mountains
seemed barrier which cut off the east
from him, and over that barrier he
could not hoat the bubble of reputa-
tion.
Besides reporting for the Virginia
City Enterprise he wrote weekly let
ters for that paper. mainly about the
members OF the Legislature. and these
communications failed to please that
distinguished body as much as they
gratifed the readers Of the Enter
prise. After each article appeared in
print some law giver would rise IN
his place on a question Of privilege and
plead for the extinction or suppress
sion OF the writer OF these letters. and
thus much valuable time was lost to
the legislative assembly Of the terri
tory.
"sIARK TWAIN"
There was an old pilot named Sellars
who wrote items for the New Orleans
True Delta on the condition of the
Mississippi river, signing these ma
rine chronicles Mark Twain" There
drifted across the continent from New
Orleans TO Virginia City the news that
Sellers had died. so the young re-
porter took the name Mark Twain"
Il being, as the advertisements say. "of
no further use to the owner" With
this nom de guerre he signed his
weekly letters and gave angry legis-
Idsers a mark at which to shy their vo-
cal shillalahs, BY and by people on the
streets used to greet him with Hello.
Mark" and thus the youth tasted fame
for the first time and rather liked it.
ENl,ar A Arfernus Ward came to Xir-