The Brattleboro reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1907-1912, 1910-05-27
THE SUBWAY MOLE.
The New York Guards Who Come w
Only TO Eat and Sleep.

A member Of the human family VIII
lives underground all the time, cxcep
when he comes up TO the surface 10 ca
and sleep, is the latest non-scientific dis
covery. This specimen OF genus hom'
has been called the Subway Mole"
The Subway Mole was discovered il
quite an accidental manner by one Of tn
many who change at Fourteenth stree
for one Of the local stations during th,
morning business rush. lie was stand
ing in the vestibule OF subway car, when
near Canal street, an old woman asked
the guard II he could give her q hint a,
10 the location Of Hester street. The
guard scratched his head, and finally
said:
IL know it's somewhere about, but
Just exactly where can I tell from here
But | think il you get off at Canal and
ask somebody you will be steered all
right.
The man who was about to discover
the Subway Mole stepped in and told
the old woman how to get to Hester street
from Canal. After she had alighted and
the train was on its way again the man
in the vestibule, wishing to offset the
guards humiliation at being unable TO
give the information required by the
woman, said:
81 guess you get bunch of questions
like that thrown at you. II must be
pretty hard to give directions from the
subway"
THAT'S just it, said the guard, "but
not the way you mean or the way you
think. The fact of the matter is, man
who works in the subway all the time
begins to get hazy about streets that are
not stations, and in time he even forgets
the names of them"
The Subway Mole was discovered, and
the passengers began to ask questions
and listen eagerly to the mole's view Of
the matter.
"Fact, said the Subway Mole. "You
don't know what s going on in New York
if you work in the subway. You live
in tunnel all the time, except when you
go home for sleep, or drop upstairs
for luncheon.
"Look at me. I've been subway
guard since the hole in the ground was
opened, in 1904. Five and half years
have been shouting Step lively!' down
below the ground. Just think of it for
a minute and you II catch on.
when l got off duty went home to
my wife and kids. If had been on duty
on the night shift l slept while the sun
was shining If it was the day shift
I'd been on, of course it was dark when
l climbed out of the hole in the ground.
"Of course, I've been to show at odd
times, and with the kids in the park.
But most of the time / live in the electric
light, with no scenery to look at II
what they say about evolution is true,
may be in time a subway guard will be
a kind of beast that can only see by ar.
tificial light, hates the sight of green, and
has forgotten the United States language,
except as much of it as warns people to
take big step-and lively.
"I'm not stringing you-honest.
have a pretty poor idea Of what's going
on in New York, except from. what
learn from the newspapers that are left
lying on the seats, and which l maybe
get a flash at between stations.
CHATS why, when that woman asked
me where Hester street was, it took me
about a minute to remember there was,
or used to be, street by that name. As
for telling her where it was or how to get
there, if you hadn t butted in and helped,
might have been trying to tell her yet.
New York Times. !