davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10
Humor and
philosophy
BY DUNCAN ~. SMITH
VANITY.

THE valued things for which we striv
And think we will enjoy
Are often quite as worthless as
The gaudy Christmas toy.
We treasure them a little while,
Then they are cast away,
Their mission filled If they rave just
Amused us for a day.
The castle CT the millionaire.
The costly summer cot.
h orang grove in Florida,
The handsome private yacht,
If they are not the means by which
The daily bread is won.
May glitter as a Christmas toy,
Blu soon their day is done.
The difference is not SO great
Between the man and boy.
The childish toy costs less perhaps
And may bring greater joy.
The plaything for the gay adult
Calls for a greater check,
But just as soon it may be turned
n the general wreck.
Nor does the auto or the horse,
The boat or a%eroplane.
The pleasure to it's owner bring
That's in the choo-choo train.
But. whether it be age or youth.
In just a week or two
Each casts the pretty thing aside
And calls for something new.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10
Answered Well.

"What. sir" asked the large man
with the bullying biceps and the pom
derous fist as he glared at the slim
gentleman who had accidentally STUN
bled over his toes, would you say if
1 were to tell you that you were an
awkward ass and an annoying
chump?'
Il should at onc say" replied the
other man, Who had enjoyed the adj
vantage of : course in the diplomatic
service, that you had the courage OF
your convictions" - Chicago Record
Herald.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

The fellow who succeeds in feather
ing his own nest generally plumes him
self upon his perspicacity and crows
over his plucked comrades.
And the worst Of it is that the man
who can't explain his bad behavior
and general misconduct usually does.
Putting up a bluff isn't so hard, but
1t Is keeping it in a vertical attitude
that calls for the greater supply of
ability.
The people who don't seem to have
any opinion at all sometimes are in
possession of the most strenuous kind
Of opinion, and the withholding Of it
is the biggest slap imaginable to the
noisy crowd about them.
Acquiring a reputation often Is fol.
lowed by the exhaustive labor Of en-
deavoring to lose it and is often at
tended with small success.
Any inexperienced person can plunge
into the swim, but 1t takes a swimmer
to stay there and do fancy stunts.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10

If you haven't the time to exercise
regularly, Doan's Regule.s will prevent
constipation. They induce a mild. easy,
healthful action Of the bowels without
gripping. Ask your druggist for them.
25c.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10
He Did Know, Though.

Hoax-Don't you think it's outra-
geous the price these milliners charge
for hats? Joax-Oh, | don't know.
Hoax-You don't know, eh! It's very
evident you are not a married man.
Wrong. | married a milliner.-
Philadelphia Times.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10
Sheridan to Rest In Winter.

Martin Sheridan, the-great all around
athlete of New York, intends following
his usual plan and, though competing
now and then, will not do any hard
training in the winter months. He
says he finds he can perform a great
deal better in the outdoor season by
taking it easy during the indoor sea-
son.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10
THE DAVIS CUP.
Two Americans to Play In Australia
For the Cherished Trophy.

TT TIC O7eTTSneu TUPNy
Lovers of tennis the world over are
keenly interested in the international
tennis competition to be held in Aus.
tralia Nov. %. ~ and %. and it prom,
ises to be II of the most interesting
sport events ever played in that oun
try. The match is for the Davis cup.
which two years ago was won by Will
ding and Brookes. representing Aus
tralia. The Davis cup, rs it is COM
monty called. has become the gilt
edged trophy of the lawn tennis world.
Dwight f. Davis. formerly Il Har-
ward man. travelled abroad in 1899 on
a lawn tennis trip. He was one of the
leading players of this country. While
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10

Itching piles provoke profanity, but
trofanity won't cure them. Doa..'s ONT
ment cure. itching, bleeding or pro-
trudlng pil 8 af er years of suffering.
At any drug store.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10

Do you know how Group can be pre-
vented? Give Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy as soon as the child becomes
hoarse or even after the croupy cough
appears and it will prevent the attack {.
1t is also a certain cure for Group and
mas never known to fail. Sold by Close
& Co.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10

While it is often impossible to prevent
an accident, it is never imposs ible to be
prspared-it is not beyond any ones
purse. Invest IS cents in a bottle of
Chamberlain's Liniment and you are
pre- AIRED for sprains. bruises and like
injuries. Sold by Close g. Co.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10

If troubledswith% indigestion, constipa-
ton. no appetite or feel sbilious, give
Chamberlain's Stomach and Liver
Tablets a trial and you wills be pleased
with the result. These tablets lnvigorate
the stomach andsliver and strengthen
the digestion. Sold by Close.& Co.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10
Stops earache in two minutes:

Stops earache in two minutes; tooth
ache or pain of burn or scald in five
minutes; hoarseness, one hour, mu scle-
ache, two hours; sore throat, twelve
hours-Dr. Thomas Electric Oil, mon
arch over pain.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10
Not Taking Sides.

"There are two sides to every ques.
ton"
ooh, l don't know. l don't care
about the Sides"
"You don't?"
mo"
"Then what are you making all this
powwow about?"
81 want to 60 to the bottom and
come out on top"
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10

Against Numbering Football Players.
The plan of numbering football play.
ers. it is declared, never will 60 on
teams that have anything like a COM
plicated attack. 1t would take coaches
OF the side lines about two plays to
know what was going ON.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10

Most disfiguring skin eruptions,scrofu-
la, pimples, rashes ETC., are due to i'm
pure blood. Burdock Blood Bitters is a
cleansing blood tonic. Makes you clear
eyed, clear, Drained, clear. skinned.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10
Father Had Experience.

And so you a to marry Billy.
Maudie?"
eyes. father"
"Can he support your"
Eyes, he told me So"
"Well. you may tell him to chase
himself. He talks too much like a pro.
moter to suit me-"
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10
Her Beau Stole It.

Her Beau Stole It.
"You seem much elated."
IL just had my photograph taken"
did you? Do you think it will be
good?"
ut is the best ever"
"How nice! Who took it?"
"Charlie."
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10
Good Advice.

Good Advice.
II have a SUSPICION"
"You haveY"
eyes: r.
"Say!"
"What?"
"Take it out and push it in the
river"
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10
No Harm Done.

Dear me-. pa" said the young and
beautiful heiress, you'll mortify me
to death yet"
whats the matter now, Lil?"
"You told John to go down to the
depot and get the earl's baggage right
out loud 50 that be couldn't help hear
ing you. Why can't you learn to say
station and luggage"
"Oh, dom mind that. The earl
won't care. Hes got used to United
States talk. He asked me this morn
ing how l got my dough and how
much l had of it."-Exchange.
An attack of the grip is often followed
by d persistent cough, which to many
proves a great annoyance. Chamber
lain's Cough Remedy has been extern
sively used and with good success for
the relief and cure of this cough. Many
cases have been cured after all other
remedies had failed. Sold by Close &
20
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10
Brains.

The largest apes have only sixteen
ounces of brain, the lowest type OF
man has t%hirty-nine.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10
akinq 1t Profitable.

Making 1t Profitable.
eyes, he is a smooth proposition"
"He doesn't look the part"
"He is there with the goods, all right.
He never lets a bill collector come to
see him without borrowing $40 before
the daZed collector gets away"
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10
Business.

The most important part of every
business is to know what ought to be
dOne.-COlumella.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10
Soda Water.

Strange to say, what is called soda
water contains not the least particle Of
soda.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10

81. W. Abingdon Camp, No. 28sO meets In
the Woodman hall the second and fourth
Mondays of each month.
WIN. A. LAWN V. C.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10
More DANGEROUS.

More Dangerous.
1.-THE town is split wide open over
some gossip"
"I'l bet Mrs. Cab had a hand in it."
mo, she didn't"
"That is strange"
"She only had Il tongue in it."
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10
SOCIETY DIRECTORY.

LODGEOF Observation-Disclosures No. 8
holds regular communications on the first and
third Thursdays of each month at the Masonic
Aemple
W. F. WINTER, Y. NJ.
ROBERT WORK, Sec'y.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10

A. T. g. A. M.-Lebanon Lodge holds regula'
communications at the Masonic Temple on the
second I'D fourth Fridays of each month.
j. KELLAND, w. M.
j. 81. Balm, Secretary.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10
METROPOLITAN LIFE BUILDING, NEW
YQRR.

rising 657 feet above the sidewalk,
with forty-eight Of Its stories above
the ground. From the foundation its
total height is 800 feet. and 1t has a to-
tai floor area of 1.Os5. e83 square feet,
about twenty-five acres.
Previous to the completion Of tho
Metropolitan Life building the Singer
structure, also OF New York. had the
honor Of being tho worlds highest
building. rising 812 feet.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10

L. o. o. F.-Meets every Tuesday night IL
hall over First National Bank.
FRANK CAMERON N. G.
81. A.. JOHNSON, Sec'y.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10
Refused to Worry.

REFUSED TO worry.
EDO you believe everything your
husband says"
ono. Do you?"
Eyes"
"Why. how a you"
SIT is so comfortable"
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10

0. E. S.-Langdon Temple holds regular com.
munications on the first and third Tuesdays OF
each month at the Masonic hall.
ETHEL WALKER, Mrs. SADIE MILNE W.. M,
Sec'y. HUGH MCDOWELL, WI P.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10
Useful.

Useful.
"What's the good of making resolu-
tions?"
"They are very excellent mental ex,
ercisers."
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10
The Great
Memorial to
Washington
public in

n HE public in
4 terest in
George Wash
ington broadens
and deepens with
every passing year.
and the scenes and
memorials Of his
grand career are
viewed with ever
growing reverence.
Relics, statues. DOr.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10

C. o. E.. No. sOS-St. Alphonsus Court, meets
on the first and third Wednesdays of each
month in their hall over the Mooney State
Bank. JOHN SIBERIAN, C.. r.
Jos g. SCHILL, Sec'y.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10

I. o. F.-Langdon Court, Independent Order
Of Foresters. meet in the Workmen hall, the
drst and third Tuesdays of each month.
w. A. FERGUSON. G. R.
J.H. Balm, Rec. Sec'y.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10

NJ. B. A.-Modern Brotherhood of America
meets In the Opera House Hall ON the first and
third Wednesday of each month.
w. A. FERGUSON, President.
b e. DUNNIaAN. Secretary.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10

First Ward 5000. Morris Orton. Jas. Brosnahan
Second Ward........J Mahoney R. T. Burk.-
Third Ward ......A. R. Marshall, Chas. Haugh
SCHOOL BOARD.
Members of Board of E~ducation-John
Mahon Chas. Hunter, W. B.. Dickson, u j
Fox, j. J. Mahoney.
- ~ SulIAo.
CAelk Il. lrua1.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1910-02-10

DISTRICT COURT.
Judge Seventh District. 5000. w. j. kneeshaw
Cont Stenographer.. Miss Laura Dauben berg
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1910-09-08

tor? If the farmers would lay in theil
supply of winter fuel early in the fall
they would save themselves many
unnecessary trips to town in the depths
of winter, besides solving the question
of sufficient fuel for the community.
The dealers would then have the town
trade to supply and that could be
gagged so that shortage would he
rare.
1t has been long time since our
readers have heard anything from Fred
w. Harris, formerly editor of this
great moral educator, and we know
they will be glad to learn that he is
now very nicely located in Gary, Ind,
where he has very good position with
the E. /. G. E. railway company. His
work at present is chiefly executive
work and as the pay roll of his depart
ment amounts to SIC, 900 and he has to
look after twenty-three road crews,
he is busy the most of the time. The
company grants him vacation of ten
days each year at full pay. DR.. Harris
his brother, has decided to write and
ask Fred to spend his vacation this
year at his old home in Webster and
assures him cordial welcome from his
many Day county friends and some of
the best duck shooting he will find
anywhere. All will hope he will accept
our genial mayors offer.
L. o. Pillsbury, of the Day County
Auto & Supply company, who spent
last week taking IN the sights of the
Clark County Agricultural Fair at
Clark, arrived home Sunday night. He
reports very pleasant time with his
former Clark county friends and says
they had splendid fair and the farm
products and stock exhibited were the
best of advertising which can possibly
be done for that section of South
Dakota. What is true of Clark county
is also true of Day county and if you
would do your part for the best inter
ests of Day county you will bring in
your exhibits and then come and attend
the fair during it's sessions and COM
pare your produce and stock with that
of your neighbors. The way Clark
county made success of its fair was
by everybody boosting and the system
is one well worthy of copying here.
Get your booster working.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1910-09-08
Local News.

Mr.. and Mrs. R. L. Irwin, of tn,
Irwin Pharmacy, went down to Mime
apolis Monday evening to. look for &
number of new things for the holiday
trade, and just accidentally to take in
the Minnesota state fair.
John Sherbino and H. T. Denton
departed Tuesday afternoon for Orion
vile in Jacks Stevens Duryea car,
where they went to spend few days
with party of friends looking after
the Minnesota prairie chicken
R. 0. Bacon, one of the popular
clerks and statesmen in E. n. Dorr &
Co.'S. hardware store, departed for the
Twin Cities Sunday night to spend a
few days taking in the sights at the
Minnesota state fair. His wife went
along for company and protection.
Chas. Long, who has been out at his
new farm home near Big Timber, this
state, perfecting residence and build
a home to occupy this winter is
expected in Webster the last of this
week to look after business matters for
a few days.
Geo. Chapman and Floyd Yeager and
Nina Stearns and Francis Canning
formed an automobile party that
enjoyed ride to Aberdeen Sunday.
On the return trip the young folks
came by Tacoma park and took in the
attractions of Aberdeen's popular
pleasure resort.
Mrs. Geo. Bodies and children arrived
Saturday morning and have gone to
housekeeping in the home selected by
Mr.. Bodies in the First ward. We
gladly welcome the family to our city
and hope they will enjoy every minute
of their life with us.
Andrew 0ttum, brother of Mrs.
H. o. Wickre, came down from his
home at Pierpont last Saturday and
visited for day at the Wickre home.
He brought down a load of fat cattle
with him and accompanied them to st.
Paul that evening.
We are informed that Mrs. Dema
Robb, daughter of Mr.. and Mrs. John
Ray, of this city, who now makes her
home in Iowa, has accepted the posi-
tion of principal of the Merrill, Iowa,
schools. The young lady is an educa-
tor of splendid ability having given
good satisfaction as one of the teach
ers in Sioux City, Iowa, and the Iowa
town is to be congratulated.
Sig Egeland returned Saturday from
business visit at Aberdeen. When
shown the piece which appeared in the
News which is printed in another
column, Sig said there was nothing in
it only jolly. He was well satisfied
with the business of the Egeland- Harris
Land company in Webster and had nc
desire, let alone any idea of moving tc
Aberdeen or any where else on the map.
Now is the time to subscribe for the
Reporter and Farmer the best local
paper in this part of the state. The
New copyright story ''The Silver
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1910-09-08
CRUSHING n Iswver.

De Wolfe Hopper was once q wit
ness In a suit for SANDER. and the
opposing counsel in the court room
said:
You are an actor. l believer
"Yes," replied Hopper.
"Is not that low callingT"
T don't know. but it's so much bet
ter than my fathers that I am rather
proud of IT,"
What was your fathers calling
may | askY'
"He was a lawyer" sah Hopper.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1910-09-08

Horde" starts in this issue, it is an
Alaskan story by Rex Beach and is
considered one of his best. This story
alone in book form would cost you
from slips to $3.50, while subscribing
for the Reporter and Farmer now you
get the complete story the local and
and state news ETC., one year for 81.
County Auditor Blegen returned Fri
day from visit at the ranch home
near Lennon. He reports that the
crops out there while very light, prob
ably not quite half a crop, yet the con-
ditions were not nearly so bad as had
been reported and very few people
would suffer any want in the new
country His family were quite well
pleased with their new home, but he
admitted that at times they all became
rather lonesome. His daughter, Miss
Lizzie, accompanied him to Webster.
Miss Anna Christensen, who left here
several years ago to make her home in
California, is back for a few weeks
looking after the threshing upon her
Day county farms. She says that Mr..
and Mrs. Waughop and herself all
enjoy the best of health in California
and like to live there but they are
satisfied that there are no other invest
ments any better than Day county
farm and very few which pay
dollar for dollar and they will continue
to hold their Day county land. The
many friends of all will be glad to
know they like their new home.
w. G. Warner, formerly of this city
but who lett here about year ago to
go to Roscoe, this state, where he con-
Quoted an elevator for the Williams
Cooper elevator company, was in the
city on Sunday shaking hands with his
many friends. Guy has decided to
quit the elevator business and has
accepted position with an insur ance
company and will make his headquart-
ers in WATERFOWL, where he has already
moved his family. Both Mr.. and Mrs.
Warner have host of friends in Web
ster who will hope they will enjoy
their new home and be very prosperous
therein.
Some two weeks ago the families of
E. R. and r. j. Philbrook departed in
their large Chalmers-Detroit touring
car for visit with relatives and friends
in Minnesota. They made the run first
to Window, Mimi, where r. ]. and
family stopped. Mr.. and Mrs. E. R.
Philbrook continued the journey from
there to Wykoff, Mimi, where they
spent few days very pleasantly with
relatives. The return trip was made last
week and the families arrived home
Saturday night, having made run of
$50 miles without an accident and all
the time had the best of weather and
roads above the average.
The Day county farmers might take
leaf out of the railroad mans book.
Seldom do railroad cars run as empties;
if they carry one commodity one way
they will contain another on the return
trip. But how many farmers return
home with coal or wood in place of the
load of grain they took to mill or eleva-
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1910-09-08
No Aruument.

Patronizer Of the Cheap Restaurant
Look here, waiter, this coffee Is cold.
Polite and Intelligent Waiter-Quite
right, sir. This is quick lunch cafe,
and IL the coffee was hot you couldn't
drink it in hurry.-London Scraps.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1910-12-09
Island of Manhattan.

In other days there were the Island
Of Manhattan and Manhattan Island
They We're different bodies. Island of
Manhattan was applied to the land oc-
cupied by the old city of New York,
now the borough of Manhattan. Man
haitian Island was little knoll of land
In the limits of what is now Third,
Houston and Lewis streets and East
river. At high tide the knoll was an
island.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1910-12-09

1t has been ascertained by stats
ticians that some 60 per cent Of the
earthquakes recorded all the world
over have occurred during the six
colder months of the year. In the
Mediterranean and many other dis
tricts the proportion during the cold
weather is even greater. January and
February seem to be the two months
especially favored in this respect.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1910-12-09
No Place For Women.

One peculiar fact is impressed on the
world No woman. suffragist or anti
has designs on the north pole. The
Eskimo winter styles lack something
that might make distinction and ele-
gance. No true woman would go
where people could not tell which di-
rection she was going or whether she
was herself or her husband.-Omaha
Bee.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1910-12-09
OUR CLUB LIST

The Register and Toledo Blade,
full of good reading, National
Weekly. 81 rs
The Register and McCalrs Maya
zine, the finest of its kind for the
price, including one pattern, 81 IS
The Register and Mirror and
Farmer, an excellent Farmers
Weekly, 81 rs
The Register and New York Tri-
bune and Farmer, a weekly of
great value to farmers, 81 so
The Register and Tri Weekly
World, popular with everybody,
and taken largely, 81 65
The Register and Metropolitan
Magazine, regular 81 80 monthly, 81 65
The Register and Tri- Weekly Tri-
bune, superlatively good litera-
ture, coming three times a week, ST -
The Register and The Country
Gentleman, old, conservative and
reliable, So 90
The Register and The Albany
Times Union, daily of excellent
reputation, in touch with New
York affairs. and the Farm and
Fireside, % pages, all good,
which comes every two weeks,
all for Sc 80
Boston Evening Record and Mid
dlebury Register one year for $500
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1910-12-09
Fine Overcoats for All Occasions.

Now what kind Of an Overcoat do you want? We're not
afraid to have name any good style, because we've
got them all style your model your price, your f
The particular popular style this strikiney shown
IN the above picture 1t the looks-o
anything it looks better than the picture the "con-
vertbe collar which much desired this
made of fancy fabrics You will the collar is shown in
the turn down style for dress and also military
style tor cold weather. 1t is very practical collar
change easily made the other When YOU once
see it you will think of having other
But the convertible collar only
We have fine showing elegant in the STYLISH
dressy Chesterfield model with oveoats
for gentlemen of quiet general and for all men
for dress occasions They black oxords and dark mix
Priced from $I2 o $40
The with the convertible made of
very beautiful abrcs-some Scotch make
most wonderful stuff the Scotch English and
American cloths OF fine There's quite strong tendency
color also fabrics fal-and
can show the richest IN CITY
Hart Schafner Marx make them
can't do service than their over
faction style h and in long service than any clothes
made.
These elegant the strictly Schafner Marx
models from $40 $40 and fully worth
models all the down So But before you your
this fall be you convertible collar
models have.
TIL b BL u E STORE
n HUMPHREY
95 Church Street. Burlington, Vermont