Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1910-03-23
HUMOROF THE GREEKS
Wit That Helped the Ancients
Drive Dull Care Away.
SOME FIFTH CENTURY JOKES

NNG fNAcNNNftANtQNG FFOlCSSQE was
Prolific Source of Merriu,ent to the
testers % Those Days-The Source
Of Many Modern Jokes.
The maxim that there is nothing
new under the sun applies. il would
seem. more truly 20 jokes and witt.
ciSns than to anything else The chief
differences between the jests OF one
generation and that OF another lie
mainly In their form. The kernel is
practically the same. Nevertheless IL
is interesting TO exhume some of these
ancient jokes and to recognize in them
the ancestors OF the things at which
we laugh today i'm the pages of our
humorous publications.
Some humorous writer's dearly love
20 make fun OF the abSentminded. I'M
practical university professor. who
outside OF his own subject lets his
wits wander and is very slow to grasp
anything i'm ordinary life. Such Jokes
as these were cracked centuries ago
10y the students and graduates OF the
great universities In ancient Greece.
for 1t is mistake 10 suppose that
what we now call college life" was
unknown TO the ancients.
As a matter OF fact. the student at
the University OF Athens or at the
University Of Alexandria was very
much the same sort Of mortal as is
the student today. and his professors
were not SO very different.
y witty GreeS named HierocleS. a
graduate Of Alexandria. collected some
time in the afth century volume OF
jests which were current among the
students with regard TO the wooIgath-
ering type - professor \ number Of
them are translated here as being of
considerable interest in the history Of
humor and especially OF college hui
NOR:
y professor. wishing 10 swim. was
nearly Crowned. whereupon he swore
that he would never touch water again
until be had learned how to swim.
or twin brothers. one died. A pro-
fessor thcrcupon meeting the sur
vivor. asked rs it you that died or
your brother:"
professor. learning that a raven
would live for more than 200 years.
bought one 10 test the matter.
y professor. wishing 10 cross a river.
went on board the boat on horseback.
When some one asked the reason he
answered that he wanted TO get over
in a hurry
professor. looking out OF the win
dow Of house which he had bought.
asked the pasSersby whether the house
was becoming 10 him.
y professor. meeting another pro
fessor. said. Il heard you were dead. 9"
And yeL" replied the other. you see
that am still alive" Well" said
the first ia perplexity, Il don't know
what 20 believe. for the man who told
me about it Is much more truthful
man than you.'
y professor. I'm danger OF being ship
wrecked. called for his tablets that he
might Make his will. Seeing thereupon
his slaves Iamenting their fate. he
said. "Do not grieve for am going to
set you free"
\ professor dreamed that he had
trodden on nail and that the wound
pained him. On waking he bound up
his foot Another professor. having
learned the cause, remarked. 1T served
you right. FOR why do you sleep with
out sandals :"
\ professor. meeting doctor. hid
himself behind a wall. Some one ask
ing the cause. he answered. Il have
not been sick for so long n time am
ashamed TO come into the sight of a
/ physician"
y professor. wishing To teach his
horse TO be n small eater. gave him no
food nj all. At length. the horse hav-
Ing starved 10 death. the professor ex-
claimed. II have suffered great loss,
for just as he had learned not TO eat he
died."
\ professor. visiting a sick person,
inquired about his health The invalid.
however. was not able to reply. There
| upon the professor. being angry and
scolding the man. said. Il hope that
shall be sick some of these DAYS. anI
then when you come TO ask how I an
| viii not answer"
\ professor sealed up vessel Of
wine which he had bought. Ills serv-
| eA4t t''A' tAtr~ lAlfAfAt "a 4Nlt ia INC NcSStl
beneath AND drawn on some Of the
wine. the professor was astonished to
see the contents diminished while the
seals remained unbrOken y neighbor
having told him to look whether it had
not been taken out from below. he re-
piled. Why. you fool. it's the upper
part OF the wine and not the lower
that is missing"
\ professor. n bald man and bar
Der travelling together agreed to keep
watch in turn four hours, each while
the others slept The BARRIERS turn
came first lie quietly shaved the
head Of the sleeping professor and
when the time elapsed awoke him
The latter. scratching his head as he
got up and finding it bare. cried out
What a rascal that barber Is. He's
walked the bald man instead of mop
Exchange