Holbrook argus., 1910-02-08
aft was. One evening he tolc us.

hardest worked man in this country.
 My job is private secretary to the president of this republic, and my du- 1es are running it. Pm not head ined in the bills, but I'm the mustard the salad dressing There isn't a .aw goes before congress, there isn't I concession granted, there isn't an Import duty levied, but what H. P Melunger he cooks and seasons it. In he front office fill the presidents inkstand and search visiting states men for dynamite; in the back room dictate the policy of the government.
 Boys, I'm 10 hold a soiree this evening with gang of leading citi- zens, ard 1 want your assistance You bring the musical corn sbeller and give the affair the outside appearance of function. There's important busi. ness on hand, but it mustn't show. ] can talk to you people. I've been pained for years on account of not having anybody to blow of and brae to. l get homesick sometimes, and I'd swap the entire perquisites of office for just one hour to have stein and a caviare sandwich some where on Thirty-fourth street, and stand and watch the street cars go by. and smell the peanut roaster al old Giuseppe's fruit stand
 "'Yes,' said l, there's the caviare at Billy Renfrow's cafe, corner of Thir- ty-fourth and"
 "'God knows, it, iterrupts Mellin- ger. and if you'd told me you knew Billy Renfrow I'd have invented tons of ways of making you happy. Billy was my side kicker. in New York. That Is man who never knew what crooked was. Here I am working Honesty for a graft; but that man loses money on it. Carrambos! get sick at times of this country. Every things rotten. From the executive down to the coffee pickers, they're plotting to down each other and skin their friends. If a mule driver takes of his hat to an official, that man figures it out that he's a popular idol, and sets his pegs to stir up revOlu- tion and upset the administration. It's one of my little chores as private sec retary to smell out these revolutions and afix the kibosh before they break out and scratch the paint of the gov ernment property. That's why I'm down here now in this mildewed coast town. The governor of the district and his crew are plotting to uprise. I've got every one of their names, and they're invited to listen to the phon- ograph tonight, compliments of H.. P. M. That's the way I'll get them in bunch and things are on the program to happen to them.
 We three were sitting at table in the cantina of the Purified Saints. Mellinger poured out wine, and was looking some worried; was thinking.
 They're a sharp crowd he says. kind of fretful. They're capitalized by a foreign syndicate after rubber. and they're loaded to the muzzle for bribing. I'm sick goes on Mellinger, of comic opera. want to smell East River and wear suspenders again. At times I feel like throwing up my job, but I'm d-n fool enough to be sort of proud of it. There's Mellinger," they say here, "Por Dios! you cant touch him with a million" I'd like to take that record back and show it to Billy Renfrow some day, and that tightens my grip whenever see fat thing that could corral just by wink | ing one eye-and losing my gI aft,
 "Mellinger appears shaky, and breaks his glass against the neck of the bottle.
 q says to myself, White man, if I'm not mistaken there's been bait laid out where the tail of your eye could see it.
 That night according to arrange ments, me and Henry took the phon- ograph to room in a dobe house in a dirty side street, where the grass was knee high. Twas a long room, lit with smoky oil lamps. There was plenty of chairs and table at the back end.
 By and by the invitations to the musicale came sliding in by pairs and threes and spade flushes. Their color was of diversity. running from a three days smoked meerscfaum to a patent leather polish. They were as polite as wax, being devastated with enjoyments to give Senor Mellinger ] the good evenings. I understood their | Spanish talk-I ran pumping engine | two years in Mexican silver mine, and had it pat-but I never let on.
 Maybe fifty of 'em had come, and seated, when in slid the king bee. the governor of the district. Mellinger met him at the door, and escorted him to the stand. When saw that Latin man I knew that Mellinger, private secretary, had all the dances on his card taken. That was a big, squashy man, the color of rubber overshoe. and he had an eye like head walters.
 "Mellinger explained. fluent, in the Castilian idioms, that his soul was disconnected with joy at introducing