davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07
Opera BOuffe Warfare.

Nicaragua would form a theme for the
comic opera writer at the present time.
Here Is a belligerent little country suf-
fering from internal disorders. with no
solution OF the trouble In sight. Gen.
Estrada, finding himself unable to reach
Msnagua. the capital, where President
Madriz rules. has declared for guerrilla
warfare The nation IS small, but the
interior is without roads and almost with
out paths. so that the army which crosses
has to cut itself off from its base Of sup
plies. This places il at such a disadvan-
tege as to make success highly improb-
able.
With the loyalists in control at Mana
qua and the revolutionists at Bluehelds.
there seems no hope Of peace. The most
likely solution VIII be the establishment
of another republic in the eastern por-
ton. with Estrada at the head
With the dethronement of ZeIaya' 5
power came the belief that a stable gov
eminent would be set up. This has been
shattered by the more recent events. The
rebels won some notable victories and
asked for American intervention, but the
State Department at Washington wanted
q definite conclusion, and this Sas not
forthcoming.
Prospects at the present time are for
another little nation in Central Amer.
lea. If the new republic is firmly es-
tabllshed on the Atlantic side. there NAV
be temporary peace in Nicaragua; but.
unfortunately. Honduras and Salvador
are turbulent, and the soldier Of fortune
will find some other revolution in which
TO cast his fortunes.
There is scant hope for the Central
American states until man like Por-
frio Diaz puts in his appearance and by
sheer force brushes out all opposition.
Call IL tyranny. but It is effective. and
the nation can prosper, something which
the lighting republics OF Central America
have never done.
Uncle Sam has enough to keep him
busy with conservation. postal savings
tariff. and other pieces de resistance
but It would be a blessing If the old
chap would take day of to spank some
of his obstreperous little nelghbors.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07
CARVING UP CALIFORNIA.
Some Talk of Creating Another Pa
cihc Coast State.

some falk or treating Another FA-
ciac Coast State.
From the Brooklyn Standardization.
The proposed carving Of another State
out OF Northern California and Southern
Oregon has progressed so far that a con-
vention has been called for March 10 10
meet at Yreka. Cal. to discuss the
scheme.
California is so big and II is unwieldly.
but Oregon is not. The first could be cut
In two. and each division would be one
and a half times as large as New York.
Why Oregon should be considered tn the
carving process is not plain. We question
If californians would ever consent 10 sur
render the distinction OF having the sec
ond State in size in the Union. and for
that reason and in vieY Of the absence
Of any convincing argument in favor OF
the division. Il is extremely doubtful II
the movement goes much beyond the con-
vention stage.
It is true that California sprawls along
ths coast Ike some overgrOwn boy, hav-
ing a length greater than the width OF
Texas But II is this great area that
heiFs TO MI the fesiueilth Win pflde. iuey
are unwilling to see San Francisco, with
its great promise, or the southern part
Of the State, with Us unsurpassed climate
and fertility. taken out OF the State.
Therefore. the tajked-of separation Is apt
TO die a-borning. oregon, which is about
twice as large as New York. is not bur
dened with area. being ninth IN size
among the States and Territories. When
the Yreks convention has adjourned. the
talk Of new State viii probably sub
side
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07

c. E. S. Wood in Pacific Monthly.
II is not fattering 10 read that the
United States has the bloodiest code in
existence. and that Japan exeels US in
a wise treatment Of crime. In that
heather and flowery kingdom the prisons
are made airy, light, wholesome, and the
prisoners are given the tools of their
trade and assisted in their work If they
are mere Iaborers and have no trade.
they are taught one; the conception of
these poor heather being that II society
can transform a criminal into a good
citizen 1t is a good work, and that not
every one sentenced 10 prison for some
one act is inherently vicious. To one not
sitting in darkness this really seems not
only a wiser, but a more Christian plan
than ours of "once a criminal. always a
criminal" We brutalize the iailer and
the jailed. Under our system he who
enters prison gate leaves hope behind.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07
The sunfIower I'm Washington.

FIRM the Kansas City star
Judge Leander Stilwell. OF Erie recently
appointed first assistant commissioner
OF pensions IN Washington. writes 10 a
friend in Chanute: 1.-THE boys all tell me
that shall have to buy dress suit
that the same is absolutely ong raggle
In order to obtain the ongtray TO any i'm
portant function here in Washington; that
should I appear at a Presidential or other
reception clad in my present style my
appearance would create as much con-
sternstion as If I had stalked I'm with
nothing on but a nightie SO far, how
ever. have successfully stood out. and
a dress suit is nos included In the list OF
my possessions. You have been IN and
around Topeka considerably In recent
years, and ! assume that YOU have seen
dress suit. but never did until I came
TO Washington last November. To nv
mind the thing makes the ordinary fellow
look like cross between a pouter pigeon
and a bullfrog. II may be that I shall
have to hire one some time in order to
pass the pearly gates Of some Of the
powers that be, but I know when I put
the toggery on I shall feel like seventeen
different kinds OF fool. with Shiloh and
Lincoln townships to hear from"
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07
SOME PLAYHOUSE PESTS.
One of the Worst Ia she who Wears
Her Hat Until the Curtain Rises.


Her Hat Until the Curtain Rises.
Clarence Cullen, in 81. Louis Post Dispatch.
Why don't I remove my hat? oh,
am in no hurry. so you needn't be. I'll
remove II when I get around to It. There
are couple of peevish-looklng old fos-
sis back of me-selish old bachelors, I'll
wager-and they are beginning TO squirm
already. They think I intend to keep
my hat on throughout the play. you
know. Can't you see them wiggllng In
their seats7
How Is that2 You haven't eyes In ne
back Of your head like some folks? Never
mind that sarcasm, II you please. my
dear They think that all they've got
10 do is to squirm and wiggle and whis-
per audibly TO each other about hats and
things to make me take of my hat be.
fore I get ready TO take it of. But. la.
la, I'll fool themi It's all rank nonsense,
anyhow, requiring women TO remove their
hats at the theater. It's just because
men are too lazy TO lean a little bit "a
one side 10 see around hat II had
my way I'd mighty soon rescind that
silly rule about women's hats in the.
aters.
How Is THAR Do I like TO sit behind
two or three big hats myself? On, yo'
needn't try 10 pin me down. Anyhow
I'd never have 10. for I'd see that yol
always got seats away down In front
Do you hear those old fogies back Of u
buzzing about my hat? Isn't 1t delight
full They are dying a slow death,
know. I just love 10 punish them. tn
selfish. stingy creatures!
Just look at them. lolling around II
their seats, and neither ane of then
decent enough to bring a woman alonl
with him, 4 woman has q pretty hare
time Of II these days trying 10 get
little amusement with such svaricious
all-for-themselves grouches to depen'
upon
Listen They're whispering abeu
changing their seats on account OF m!
hat. Isn't IL perfectly lovely! OF eours
they haven't chance in the world 4
change their seats. for the tickets ar
all sold. All that they can do is to ST
where they are and squirm and grow
| till / get good and ready to take of m,
hat and 1t serves them perfectly good an
right for being such horrid, selfish oil
things! How? They'll be leaning owe
and asking me to take of my hat in
minute? Well. I'd Just like to see them!
Do you mean 20 say that you wouI
permit that? Wei. I declarei Som
people are SO spineless! Well. Their
goes the asbestos curtain up and / sup
pose the poor old buzzy things hav
squirmed long enough, so I'll take |
of
Listen 10 their signs OF relief! / wis
now that I had kept It on until tn
curtain went up on the play!
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07
SNAPSHOTS.

From the Dallas News
A plot that will not thicken Is too thin
for any use.
When a man is said TO be all right IN
his way he IS usually in a bad way.
There are some who would rather play
second fiddle than not make any noise
at all
The main reason a man is so ready 70
give his opinion Is because there is no
sale for f.
The best reports boy ever brings
home from school are verbal ones de-
signed by himself
Eggs are eggs, OF course; but some
are to be revered more than others, be-
cause of their age.
Sometimes it looks as IL the bigger
fool man is the more anxious he is TO
be considered a wise guy.
1t has Just about gotten so in this
country that a girl would rather be dis
appointed in love than in a new dress
Yes. Sarah. lit is unlawful in Texas to
eat poached game; but you may eat
posehed eggs If you have feathered your
nest
One of the hardest things in this world
for a woman 10 do is 10 have all the
money she needs without having more
than is good for her.
When a girl doubts IL she is good
enough for the young man she is going
to marry il is a sign that she doesnt
know much about him.
The way girls squander time is awful
Some OF them throw away as many
hours in primping as their brothers use
Up in waiting for shaves at a barber
shop.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07
MONDAY. MARCH I, 1910.
Passing of Thomas Collier Platt.

A dominant figure in American politics
for years, a man who in the heyday OF
his power held the Republican vote OF the
great Empire State in the hollow of his
hand. hguratively speaking. Thomas Col
lier Plat lived long enough TO become a
political "reminiscences mere reminis-
cence of times happily now gone.
His passing recalls an interesting and
picturesque career. Identified prominently
with the history of the last three decades,
but otherwise is uneventful. 1t creates
no vacuum, precipitates no strife for par
tisan leadership, removes no factor in
State or national affairs. but simply
means the calling hence of the tottering
remnant of a once powerful man. whose
mission ended when his country came
upon better days.
Tears viii be shed for the Easy Boss, .
no doubt He was not devoid Of qualities
that make for friendship and affection
There was more than the practical poll
tician IN him, or he could not so long and
successfully have maintained his sway
The close Of his career was infinitely
pathetic in itself. Commiseration, then
cannot but be supplemented with char
liable consideration now-es to the
man. His intense loyalty in fractional
party matters and his answering de.
votion to his followers constituted his
finest characteristic.
The rise and fall Of Platt illustrates
strikingly the wholesome change in po-
Iitical conditions in this country. The last
great figure Of his type. bossism. as he
exercised It, is Of the past. Il had its
day, and an evil day it was. May its like
never come agaiHt
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07
Finest HemIock Forest.

From the New York Sun.
Where would you look for the finest
hemlock forest in the State IL you were
asked to find it?" queried a man in the
Forest Service.
To IN the Adirondacks. I suppose, rs
was the response OF the others.
Wrong. You'd find 1t right in this
city, up in the Bronx Park. The grove
of hemlocks there can't be beaten by
anything in this State or perhaps in the
country. Some of them have been there
for centuries. When Jonas Brock bought
up most Of the country Whereabouts in
1883 from the Indians he took precautions
for the preservation Of much OF the forest
land.
There are some fine trees near the
river that flows through the park just as
impressive in their way as the down.
town skyscrapers. One in particular is
known as Delaneey's Pine. It is $50 feet
high. It is older than the republic we
live in. but is one of the &C., Colonial
landmarks that did not shelter Gen.
Washington when he was trying to drive
the British army from New York"
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07
TO-DAY IN HISTORY.
Almanac Day-March 7.

century. In Scotland they appeared con-
siderably earlier than this.
It is believed that the first common al
manac in this country was for 1857. from
Brsdford's press in Philadelphia. Frank
Inns Poor Richards Almanack" begun
in 1872, was kept up by him for twenty
five years. and was widely known. both
at home and abroad, for its wise and
witty sayings.
1.-THE American Almanac and Repository
of Useful knowledge" was issued in
Boston from 1928 to 1861. a continuation,
The National Almanac" came out for
two years only. 1853 and 1854. Nearly
every religious denomination at present
has its special annual. either almanac
or year book. and many trades, profes-
sions. and enterprises have similar pub
locations.
Others of the great almanacs of the
past, and still being issued, are the
Nautical Almanac" "Almanach de
Gotha,' the old French "connaissancs
des Temps" the Berlin "Astronomisches
Jarbuch.' and the American Nautical
Almanac" which was begun in 1859.
March is the birthday of many emf
nent men: Lord Hsrsehe. the celebrated
English astronomer d7s2). stephen Hop,
kins, statesman d7OD; William Heath
soldier and Jurist d7s0; Daniel Girauc
Elliot, the scientist GSS5); Edward F. Roe
the novelist dSS0; the day on which oe.
CURED the engagement between the Ran
dolph and Yarmouth OTIS, and on which
Webster made his famous speech 10 eoa
ciliste the South Qs50).
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07

From the New York Sun.
Mr.. CLAWS succeeded in demoiishing himself. Mr..
Pinchot cannot do that because public confidence in
bis sincerity and integrity viii not be impaired in
any great degree by the gradual change Of opinion
concerning his Judgment and methods. He Is an
honest honorable, and useful man. but mighty
wropghssded. These conserving gentlemen started
out to tear up paving stones and upset wagons and
build barbados. but st IS scarcely amounting to a
revolution In contrast with their performances.
how msgnaninoas seems Mr.. rafts attitude as dis
closed in letters never intended for publication. and
how zane ard respectful IS the Presidents simple
condition and single requirement that conservation
shall proceed according to law
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07
BY Private Car.

Travelling by private car. rented directly
from the railroad company, costs about
twenty-five full fares on the average
The minimum expense is probably twenty
full fares, while the maximum cannot be
told with any degree Of accuracy. This
preliminary outlay includes nothing fur
Their than the rent Of the car If the
traveller wishes dining-csr service, he
must, of course. pay for the stocking OF
the car, &c. Everything considered, this
method of travelling is the most expen-
sive imaginable, yet there are large num-
bers of people that employ IT, Some even
own their own cars, and only pay the
railroad companies a certain rate for the
use OF their tracks and locomotive power
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07
LONDON BRIDGE.

Proud and l0vly, heggsr and lord.
Over the bridge they 60;
Rags and velvet. fetter ard sword.
Poverty, ponnp. ard woe.
Laughing weeping, hurTying ever.
Hour BY hour they crowd along
While below. the mighty river
Sings them all a niocking song.
Hurry along,
Sorrow and song,
All Is vanity meath the SUM-
Velvet and rags.
So the world wags,
Until the river no more shall run.
Dainty. PAINTED, powdered. and say,
Roleth my lady by;
Raes-and-tstters. ever the way,
Carries heart as high.
Flowers and dreams from country meadows.
Dust and din through cts skies,
Old men creeping with their shadows,
Children with their sunny eyes
Hurry along.
seTrow and song
All is vanity meath the sun;
Velvet and rags,
60 the world vaea.
Until the river no more shall run.
Storm and sunshine. peace ard strife,
Over the bridge they 90;
Floating On in the tide Of life.
Whittier no man shsil know.
Who will miss them there Tomorrow,
Waits that drift to the shade OF sum
Gone away With their songs and sorrow:
Only the river still foEs O.
-Wethsrley
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07

Complaint is made that Mr.. vertrees
repeats the same thing over and over
again in conducting his examination of
witnesses in the Balhnger-Pinchot contro-
versy. Mr.. Vertrees should be careful.
Some wag may yet refer to him as one
OF the chestnut Vertrees.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07
PEOPLE THINGS
The Forbidden Fruit.

The banana may be, as Is believed by
many people, the original forbidden fruit
of the Garden of Eden. This would ma
terially enhance its general interest TO
man, II IL were only known TO be fact
In any case. however. IT is one OF the
curiosities of the vegetable kingdom. be-
ing neither tree, nor palm. nor an
herb, nor bush. nor a shrub. nor yet
vegetable, but merely an herbaceous plant
with the status Of a tree. Although It
sometimes attains height of thirty feet,
there is no woody fiber in any part OF Its
structure, and the punches growing on
the dwarf banana plant are frequently
heavier than the stalk that supports
them. There is no plant known 10 man
which gives such quantity OF food to
the acre as the banana; It yields forty
four times more by weight than the po-
tato. and 13S times more than wheat An
other peculiar fact about the banana Is
that no insect will attack It. and that it
is absolutely immune from the diseases
that fruits are heir 20.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07
A LITTLE NONSENSE.


CHOOSE PLEASANT THEME.
Poets ought 20 pirate in spring
or the trees,
OF the birds that gaily sing,
Or the bees.
Try to do the proper thing;
Aim to please.
Look for something nice TO say;
Praise the buds;
Celebrate the girlies gay
And their buds;
Do not harp on cleaning day
With its suds.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07

A Georgia court recently decided that a
woman VIII change her mind if she wants
to-not that she has any right TO. how
ever. as some contemporaries state It.
The court evidently desired TO take no
chances on that decision.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07
A homeless Case.

He will never make a society re-
porter
did he fall down on the assignment"
Fall down? He states that among
those present were duke. a count, and a
few other titles"
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07
The Popular NJ. ID,

From the Boston Transcript.
Flint.-Havs you any divine healers out
your way. old man?
Flyrte-Have We. Say. there's a young
woman doctor next house that's a peaoh-
erino.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07
A Great Idea.

From the Chicago Evening Post
why do you have those stout rubber
bands about the bills Of all your hens?''
We ask.
Keep 'em from eaekIlng." answers our
friend. the hen-snd-eggery owner. when
they find they can't eackle they think
they were mistaken and lay another egg.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07
Use the Postal Savings Bank

From the Philadelphia Public Ledger.
People are beginning 20 wonder what the govern
ment viii do with its money after Mr. Aldrich has
taught it how TO live OF 100000 less year
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07

Taxicab rates have been lowered in
Cleveland. Ohio. Clevelandltes of the
consumer persuasion should remember
that the next time the groceryman holds
them up for an advance in -four.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07

From the Boston Transcript.
Congressman Mccall wonders Why 80 many artist.
Jump at the chance 10 paint former Speakers Pos
sbly they want to get even with them for the
tariff On WORKS Of art
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07
uncIe Joe,. VerratiIltx

From. the Philadelphia Public Ledger.
Uncle Joe Cannon dancer is in an unusual
role Ordinarily your uncle hddles and lets the
other fellow dance
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07
Comic Paper Humor.

From the Buffalo Express
You men say that women have ID
sense of humor," she began. yet I saw
a woman reading a comic paper only to.
day"
THAT proves the point" he asserted.
And then he had to explain that.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07

Mr.. Rayner can fight the Nicaraguan
revoluuonists' battles for them on the
floor Of the United States Senate. but
they viii have too look out for themselves
at home
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07

The next time the Hon. 'Jef'' Davis
does one Of his ground and lofty tumbung
acts in the Senate. he should be sure the
safety net Is stretched rfgidly and Sc
curely beneath
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07

According to reports from France. the
Seine spends most Of its time nowadays
rising again. The Seine must hGve fallen
into the hands OF some trust or other.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07

Young Mr.. Rockefeller's ideas about
spending his fathers money compare most
favorably with the ideas of some other
rich mems sons.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07
"Details Wanted.

How did you win your wife?
Win my wife? How does any man
win wifeY'
There are various methods. I have
seen wives that looked as II they might
have been won In a rattle"
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07

II the Philadelphia strap-hangers ever
declare a sympathetic strike, those street
car companies will come to time. all
right, we imagine.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07

A st. Louis butcher killed himself be-
cause of the meat boycott. The emily
fatality thus fsr recorded.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07

The more the investigation progresses.
the more evident It becomes that some
people are going to find themselves up a
stump presently In the forest conservation
row
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07
High Finance,

when I'm broke I hit the free lunch. ="
81 have better plan. About noontime
/ drop into some establishment and price
automobiles. I've had some very fine
meals bought for me this season"
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07

Somebody IS trying to frame UP a wet"
ana dry contest for Milwaukee The
"drys' have many well wishers, but the
betting odds are stiil heavily the other
way
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07

If Mr.. Pinchot has any big and convinc-
Ing exhibits OF evidence to display. he
should bring them forth. The country Is
not wavering in its belief that he is hon
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07

Senator Gordon also has the unique dis
tinction OF having caused the utter ex-
haustion of one issue of the esteemed
Congressional Record.
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07

a School of Courtesy.
II is announced that the Union Pacific
Railroad Is TO have a school OF courtesy.
another step toward promoting good man.
ners among its employees. This road, as
others. has always enforced certain rules
requiring polite treatment Of passengers.
Inspectors are constantly travelling over
the lines OF the larger railroads. eyes and
ears alert, TO learn how employees are
behaving. The Erie Railroad has as a
regular part OF its time table blank page
that is reserved for comments, favorable
or unfavorable. 20 the road. and pas
sengers are urged 10 communicate WNh
the management concerning their grew
ances. one effect Of the high standard
Of department enforced on the railroads
is seen in the extent 10 which women and
children travel alone. with perfect free
dom from fear. and with nearly as much
comfort as may be enjoyed at home. The
experience Of q certain Western woman
who was coming 70 New York for the
first time is a good illustration in point:
After leaving Buffalo. when the train
stopped at small station, her husband,
who was accompanying her or the East
ern trip. alighted TO walk up and down
the platform. and somehow. the train
pulled out. leaving him behind. The
woman, left alone, was on the verge Of
a panic. Her husband had all the money;
the train was due in New York after
nightfall; she did not know what hotel
to go TO. and, had she known, could not
well have found her way there. The con-
ductor took her in charge, showed her 10
a good hotel, and had the bill guaranteed.
When the husband arrived by later
train he was so grateful that he hunted
up the conductor and presented to him
a handsome ring
The Washington herald., 1910-03-07

There is a growing suspicion abroad
that not few faces now in Congress are
going to be somewhat conspicuous by
their absence next year.