The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1910-05-27


tration: Yesterdays News, forecast
ing the eclipse of the moon, said peo
pie were getting smoked glass ready
for the event Now who ever heard
of needing smoked glass for an eclipse
of the moon? It's the comets fault.
No wonder two people dropped dead
in one town when they took look
ATCHlSoN GLOBE SIGHTS.
The women say nothing makes
them quite so tired as for a man to
tell them what a devil he has been.
II Is human nature not to pay much
attention to a warning sign until one
runs into something more substantial.
People should give us credit for this,
at least: We never refer to beer as
amber fluid"
1t is not a crime to be fooled; so
many smart people are trying to fool
you. But it is a crime to fool your
self.
There is nothing you can do, without
being criticised by the newspapers, eX-
cept farm, and work at a trade as a
union man.
When a man is applauded for doing
or saying a smart thing, he tries so
hA
nuisance.
When a girl goes out of town on a
visit, and her hostess cries when she
departs for home, she thinks her visit
was successful.
When a man first joins a lodge he
is very enthusiastic, but when the first
assessment becomes due he begins to
take less interest
In addition TO death and taxes, you
may place among the sure things the
fact that nothing is ever settled def
initely by debate.
Why doesn't Hick Colgan write
series of articles for Scribner's Maya.
zine? He killed eight wolves last
Wednesday in five minutes.
Many obituaries state that the de-
ceased passed quietly away" We
would like to ask if anyone ever
passed away making loud noise.
1t is your enemies who keep you
straight For real use, one active,
sneering enemy is worth two ordinary
friends.
We have noticed that when a man
goes to stay three or four months lat
his old home in the east" he usually
comes back in two or three weeks.
When a man believes he has large
acquaintance and great influence, it Is
easy to induce him to become an
commission.
What has become of the old fash
Toned man who said of the man who
had had three or four wives: He has
a white liver!"
The facts are that a man may
breathe properly, take proper exercise,
eat properly, and obey all the rules of
sanitation, and then die of old age at
20 to "A.
If baby is as smart as it's mother
claims, it will cry at 3:15 at night, in
preference to any other hour, so that
when it awakens its parents they may
behold the comet.
The Lancaster Literary society will
meet in called session this evening to
discuss this question: Resolved,
That the pantalettes worn a half cen
fury ago are more immodest looking
than legs"
There isn't anything in the world
that will give mother more pleasure
than to have all the children come in
the room to be presented for intro
duction when her preacher calls, and
when her husband also comes in of
his own accord, her heart overfows
with joy. And if her husband, willing
ly and without any previous threats,
hints, or coaXing from her. asks the
preacher to call again, she fairly pants
with bliss.
A girl stenographer was discharged
today for being two hours late, hel
emplOye refusing to accept the very
good excuse she gave. 81 was up at
the usual hour" she said, land, while
breakfasting, and on my way down
town, | was bothered with the tantalil-
ing thought that / had forgotten some
thing. ] had reached the Office door
fifteen minutes ahead of the usual
time, when | remembered! | had for
gotten to read the Thought for the
Day in my Uplift Calendar. So | ran
all the way home and read this helpful
motto: Let the True Inwardness of
love penetrate to your subconscious
self and all will be we'll Then
started on run back to the Office, in