davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-06-21
humorous department.
He Wanted All to Be Honest

Mark Tulley, state treasurer and
candidate for reelection, was a trav-
elling salesman for twenty five years
and has a fund of good stories of the
road.
He tells that one time he was in a
town in central Kansas where a pro-
tracted revival meeting was going on.
One of the residents of the town was
named Toby. He was a tall, gaunt
man with long whiskers, and was very
fond of whisky, of which he frequent
ly imbibed beyond his limit. This
man was attending one of the meet
ings, and the revivalist was busy scor-
ing every form of vice and calling
down drastic condemnation upon them
Woe to the drunkard! Woe to the
drunkard! Woe to the drunkard!" he
shouted in doleful tones.
Old Toby got on his feet and tugged
at his whiskers and the fact that he
suffered only made his interruption
more marked: "Gg-g guess th-th-
that's m-m-e! I-I-I-Im p-p-pres-
ent,"
The preacher went on. Woe to the
liars! Woe to the liars! Woe to the
thieves! Woe to the thieves!" His
voice was dolorous and sepulchral
Again old Toby got to his feet. He
motioned around the room, swinging
and pointing with his arms and fingers
"G-g-get up" he commanded. "G-g-
get up! He's calm on s-s-some OF
you fellers! I've answered p-p-pres-
ent. It's your turn now. S-s-stand
up and be counted!"-Kansas City
Journal.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-06-21

q member of the composing force OF
the Herald, where her fine work and
bright presence have been most help
full. She is a young woman of much
winsomeness and the Herald wishes
for her great happiness in the new HE
dawning before her. The groom-t o-be
is the son of Mr.. and Mrs. j. A. McFad-
den of Newport. The marriage will be
performed by Rev. R. T. Marsh and
will be witnessed only by the imme-
diate families of the young couple. 49,.
A social event of rare brilliancy and
beauty was the marriage and wedding
reception on Wednesday evening of
Miss Inez F'rew and Mr.. Henry Elliott
Ruff. Both the young people are ma
tives of Rock Hill and both enjoy
popularity wide as it is genuine. Miss
Frew is the eldest daughter Of Mrs. S.
S. Frew and is possessed of many at
fractions of mind and heart, which
have endeared her to her friends. Mr..
Ruff is a son of whom Rock Hill is
proud and gives promise of being "a
worthy son of a worthy father" the
late Capt A F. Ruff. Mr.. c. B. Nc
Fadden, son of Mr.. and Mrs. V. B. Nc
Fadden of this city, was married this
afternoon to Miss Allie Sattifield of
Danvile, Va. The ceremony was per-
formed at the residence, at 1345 n.
Main street The wedding was a very
uuiet home affair, only few intimate
friends and relatives being present.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-06-21

l believe we are going to win i'm 1912.
We cannot win with Bryan and Bryan
has announced that he would not be
a candidate again. A former governor
of Ohio is being talked Of, and there
are one or two others" Mr.. Finley ap-
usual good humor. Last evening at
10 o'clock, at the Fennell Infirmary, the
sweet spirit of Mrs. Sarah Elizabeth
Kimball took its flight back to the God
from whence it came. The whole city
was saddened by this news, and espe-
cially does the tenderest sympathy go
out to the husband and son, who, twice
within the year, have been so sorely
bereft. The hearts of loved ones and
friends are heavy today, for she who
has gone had endeared herself i'm
measurably to them by her gentle dig
nity of manner, her sweet sincerity of
character, and her purity of soul. She
will he greatly missed from the circle
which loved to call her friend. Mrs.
Kimball had been in failing health
since the death of her son, David Kim
ball. last December, and six weeks ago,
at her own request, was taken to the
Fennell infrmary. Here all that de-
voted husband and family, skilled ply
sicians. and tender nurses could do
She gently fell on sleep" last evening.
Mrs. Kimball was the third daughter
of the nine children of the late Mr.. and
Mrs. David Gordon: was born 45 years
ago in this city, where she lived all
her life. In October. 1856, she was
married to Mr.. ]. S. Kimball of States
VILE but then a resident here. To them
three children were bOrn-William o.,
David and Sarah, a lovely little daugh
ter. Both of the latter have passed on
before leaving only the husband and
one son to bear this grievous loss. Be
sides these, two sisters and two broth
ers are left, as follows: Mrs. T. O..
Flowers and Mrs. V. b. McFadden.
Rock Hill: Banks Gordon, Hawkins
vile. Ga, and r. X. Gordon. The fu-
neral services will be held at the First
Presbyterian church this afternoon at
$50 o'clock. MesSrs. j. +. and VIM.
Gordon of Yurkvillc. are here for the
occasion. =. Several days ago near an
old spring in the Old Point section,
three miles north of Rock Hill, citi-
zen of that vicinity found letter that
may prove interesting reading matter
to many. The writer of the letter. who
attempts to misguide tn" public, in the
opinion of the Herald is simply some
one who had nothing To do, thinking
that the letter would he found and
cause some excitement. In the letter
a threat is made that he may make
rake on the pastOfficc" at Old Point.
We reproduce the letter below I'm full:
Old Point. s c.. June 8, 1910. Dear
Pard: At present | am under tree
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-06-21

close to a spring. l am at Old Point,
but don't think can do any business
here as there is only one store here and
a small postoffice. l may make a rake
on the postoffice a little later If l
can't get a haul here / am going to
Rock Hill, altho it will be a risk to run.
| think l can grab somebody here and
get nice little sum. | like this place
well. Last night | took in $500, but
will tell you about it later. Don't any
body know | am here and the people
are careless about things so | think l
can grab somebody. How did you
come out the other night? Got a bag
full hope. Be on your look out where
YOU are for the blue coats are pretty
sharp. They don't have them here. l
don't like to tell you so plain in let
ter, but believe we ought to quit rob-
bling i'm this place. l will tell you the
reason later. When you get this letter
destroy it soon as you read it, as it
would be worth $1,000 to the finder if
they could get our names. While l
have left you have bagged s745. that
sounds good don't it! That is all the
news l care to tell you now. When l
get a chance to get a envelope l will
send this letter to your address. l will
put it in with my bills for fear I lose
it before l get an envelope. l close,
hoping that you will meet me at our
regular place, and divide even with me.
AS ever Your robber pard, willing to
shed blood to pocket $1,000. To avoid
being caught up with l will not sign
my name this time. ..... ON next We'd
nesday afternoon, at o'clock at the
home of the bride on East White street,
will be solemnized the marriage of an
other of Rock Hills fair daughters,
Miss Marie Russell Stover and Mr..
Lawrence Hudson McFadden of this
city. Miss Slower is the youngest
daughter of Mr.. and Mrs. d. B. Slower,
who moved here with their family
from Lancaster about year ago.
Since that time, Miss Slower has been
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-06-21

extends across the land from the coast
of Girn, in the east, to the shore at
Nanke, on the west side, where II
takes a turn north and circles about
in such a way that the savage. once
within it's lines would find escape
difficult without fatal contact with
the wire.
The fences are connected with pow
erful electric plants and the wires are
constantly kept charged with the death
dealing fluid.
Already it has been found that the
new system is the most efficacious
that the government has yet contrived.
The savages are baffled and mysti-
fed. They cannot understand what
1t is that has the power of striking
down their comrades so suddenly.
They are afraid to move about in the
night on their horrible head-hunting
expeditions, for the wire has been
placed with such cleverneSs that they
never can tell when they are likely
to come in contact with It,
The plan of campaign at present is
to drive the savage into the mountains,
prevent them from coming into the
low countries or near the towns, and
so hem them in eventually by the wire
barriers that they will be cut of
from supplies and forced either to sur
render or die.
Hardly will this be regarded as
cruel, when the atrocities Of the head
hunters are taken into account. ia
pan could hardly be expected to view
with Indifference such things as have
happened. In one case rebel raid
on a Japanese outpost resulted in the
killing and decapitation of thirteen
soldiers, and so clever and crafty was
. nd Oh n1 Of fol u Inc c1-
vantage Of a knowledge of the coun-
try that the peril was persistent and
unremitting.
The Japanese call the head hunters
the Seibans. They are said to num-
ber more than one hundred thousand,
divided into some seven hundred
tribes. Each tribe occupies it's own
territory and they are all independ-
ent of each other, each seeming con-
cerned alone in preventing encroach-
ment on it's land.
This lack of unity, instead of being
a handicap to the head hunters, has
really made their subsection harder.
Japanese generals say that II they
protect them all 1t would be possible
to get them together in a big
enough force where they would
dare a pitched battle with the in
vader The outcome Of such a con-
test would, Of course, be victory for
the trained soldier of Japan and would
eventually be the obliteration Of the
Seibans.
But the head hunters steadily de-
cline any such issue. They fight In
rowing little bands, they move over
the country with amazing rapidity
and until the deadly electric fence
limited their operations to one little
section Of the island there was no ex-
treme of daring not possible to them
Japan has no false thought Of civil
lizing the head hunters. The sole aim
now is annihilation, and for their part
the savages ask no better.-Philadel
phia Enquirer.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-06-21

the guests of their daughter, Mrs. ].
Lean Adams. ... Mr.. j. b. Beal and
daughter, Mrs. S. B. Barnwell, went to
Maiden Tuesday to attend the funeral
of Mr.. Albert Hallman, who died Sun
day night at the advanced age of SO
years at the home of his son-in-law.
Mr.. Julius Carpenter. Mr.. Hallman
was the only brother of Mrs. J. B.
Beal. who was unable to attend the
funeral on account of feeble health. E.
Mr.. L. F. Wetzell again holds the rec
ord for early tomatoes. Yesterday he
had the first of the season from his
garden. They were June Pinks. He
is two days ahead of his last years
record and one day behind his record
of 1908 Heretofore the Earlianna has
been the first to ripen but his standby
of former years comes in second this
season. Miss Julia Galloway return
ed Wednesday night from Madison,
Ga, where she has held position the
past year on the faculty of the Madison
high school. She will spend the sum-
mer here with her parents, Rev. DR..
and Mrs. ]. c. Galloway. .... Miss Ann
c. Wallace of Lancaster, KY. arrived
in Gastonia Wednesday and is the
guest of Mrs. j. f. Thomson at her
home on West Main avenue. Miss
Wallace will leave Monday for York
vile, where she will spend some time
with friends. ... Lovers Of baseball In
Gastonia turned out in large numbers
yesterday to see the game between the
newly re-Organized LOray team, now
designated as the Tigers and a strong
team from Rutherfordton. and the
high expectations which had been
aroused were fully met. In a fast and
snappy game. which only took an hour
and ten minutes in the playing, Loray
defeated Rutherfordton by a score of
to O. Both teams did excellent work
in the field, and the batting was unu-
sually good, only four men being
struck out during the game, one 10y
Tramwell for the L0ray, and three 10y
Belue for Rutherfordton.
Chester Lantern, June II: Little
Miss Mildred Bankhead of LowryNill",
is visiting at the home Of her uncle,
Mr.. A. y. Webb on Valley street.
That still more people will be brought
to live i'm Chester is evidenced 10y the
fact that the Wylie mills will greatly
increase the capacity of their output.
At a meeting of the board of directors
recently it was decided that it would
be good policy for the mill to make
$500 worth of Improvements. The
improvements will he in tn" natur" of
installing 500 looms and in order to Il"
this an annex will have to be con-
structed to house them. The installa-
ton of this Improvement in tn" mills
will mean that Chester is To De further
increased in population and financial
worth. w Chester feels great deal
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-06-21

of pride in one of her young ladies from
the fact that the highest standing ever
made in Winthrop college in the nor
NAL literary course was made by Miss
jamie Ford, who graduated this year.
Out of the class of ninety girls that
graduated. two came out with averages
of more than ninety per cent. One of
them was Miss Marguerite Dukes of
Orangeburg, who graduated in the
normal music course with the honor
for four years of an average of over
80 per cent which is an exceptionally
fine record and the other was Miss ia
ME Ford, who, as before stated, grad
uated in the normal literary course. ...
Work actually commenced on the un-
ion depot for Chester this morning,
when Civil Engineer Cothran of Green
wood, and n corps of assistants arrived
to make the survey. For some time
the railroad commission has had the
matter of making the survey in hand,
but were unable until within the past
few days to get an engineer to come
here to do the work. Early this week
the commission secured promises from
the railroad interests, Southern, 5. A.
L.. c. & NV, and the l.. &. c., that
survey should be made to determine
the cost of the station and Immediately
the commission was able to get Mr.
Cothran to come here and make the
survey. The survey is, of course, only
the entering wedge for the new sta
tion, but when it is finished then the
citizens of Chester can take the matter
up with the railroad commission and
the railroads and bring it to definite
head.
Rock Hill Herald, June II: Hon. d.
F.. Finley, United States representative
of the Fifth district, was in Rock Hill
Saturday. He had returned from
Washington and was on his way to
Yorkville to spend a few days. What
are the chances for a Democratic pres
ident?" was asked by a Herald repre-
sentative "They are very bright and
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-06-21
How to Get Ring Of Fat Finger.

The woman showed a fat finger il
whose folds was imbedded in plain golC
ring.
How much will you let me have OF
this ring?" she said to the pawn
broker.
Il can't tell until you take it off 81
1 can weigh it," he said.
She tugged at the ring; it wouldn't
come off.
Cant you get it off for me?" she
asked.
The pawnbroker threaded a needle
with strong linen thread, soaped the
needle and slipped it head first under
the ring toward the hand. Then ne
wound the long end of the thread
tightly and evenly around the finger
almost to the nail. That done, he took
the needle and unwound the thread
from the base of the finger out, and as
he unwound the ring slipped off. He
weighed the ring.
Two dollars" he said.
That won't do me any good" said
the woman. Il can get SO any place
else"
He returned the ring.
she didn't really want to pawn it,
he said. she just wanted somebody
to take the ring off. A jeweler would
have done it the same way, but would
have charged something. New York
Sun.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-06-21
WAR BY ELECTRICITY.
Novel Expedient Used by Japanese in
Formosa.

The most ferocioLs instinct of primi-
tive savagery, head hunting, Japan
is TO fight with the most modern of
military agencies, electricity. 1t Is
most curious duel that is now being
waged in the Island of Formosa be-
tween the Japanese and the blood
thirsty Aiyu tribes.
1t is the proudest achievement OF the
head hunter to increase his collection
of skulls. He who has most of these
sanguinary relics is esteemed the
great man of the tribe and the grew
some skulls are exhibited with the ut
most pride not only to residents but
to visitors who may chance under
proper guard to penetrate to the fast
nesses OF the interior.
IT has not taken long for Japan to
find that her soldiers cannot avail to
stop the depredations and outrages
committed by the head hunters.
There are some hundred thousands
of these saYageS, who became prob
lem to the Toxic government when
the outcome of the war with China
in 1895 brought FormOsa under ia
panese dominion.
The gallant little brown men who
had been able to Overwhelm the
Cinnamon, and who later were to
strike such a frightful blow at the
prestige of Russia, were unable to deal
with the head hunters.
In the guerrilla warfare that ensued
as soon as the japanese soldiers came
into the country the modern sons Of
Jupiter were constantly WOrSted.
1t was a favorite trick of the head
hunters to perform their deadliest
outrages right under the noses, 50 to
speak, of the new rulers of the is
land.
Then tactician in the army struck
on a great idea.
Fight them with electricity.
A wall was built across the cOun-
try, a wall 400 miles in length, not
a wall of stone but far more deadly
and treacherous wall, one made of
wire and charged constantly with a
current that carried death just as GER
tainly as the bullet of a dead shot.
Only ii needed no soldier to fire this
death message. All that the head
hunter needed to do was to come into
contact with it just the briefest space
of time and with any portion of his
body. Death was then the sure out
come.
The deadly obstruction with secret
entanglements most cleverly contrived
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-06-21
aelistsllansous Rradina.
FROM NEIeHeoRING EXCHANGES
News and Comment About Things In
and Around the Country.

Lancaster News, June 18: The Lam
caster military company, Major w. b.
Moore of Yorkville commanding, which
left here Wednesday morning at 4
o'clock on a special train over the
Southern for a ten days encampment
at Fort Moultrle, reached it's destination
! in safety during the afternoon. The
special arrived In Charleston at about
l o'clock. The company was shortly
afterward taken over to Sullivan's Is
land by a national government trans
port Whether YOU live in town or
the country, If you wish to make your
wife happy, and of course YOU do. and
at the same time contribute to your
own comfort, health and well-being,
place wire screens in the doors and WIN
dows of your residence. BY all means
screen the cook room. There is no long
er any doubt about the fact that GER
tain deadly diseases are communicated
to us through the agency of the pesti-
| ferrous house-fy and the biting mos
quito. The only way to enjoy even
comparative immunity from these in
sects is to screen your home. Screens
are cheaper than doctors and under
takers bills.
Gastonia Gazette, June II: In the fu-
ture it will behoove GastOnians who
indulge in cigars, cigarettes, tobaccos
of any kind, coca-cola and articles of
various and sundry other descriptions
to do their shopping not later than
Saturday night. On and after the COM
| ing Sunday every drug store in Gas
tonia will be closed tight for the first
time in the history of the town. ......
Mr.. and Mrs. ]. S. Clinton of Glover,
are spending the day in Gastonia as
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-06-21
Neither Side PIeased.-SenatOr BO

NeltneT OlOc TiCdSCu. o'ioh''i I'
rah of Idaho, the other day made a
speech before the Americus club of
Pittsburg, on Ulysses S. Grant. Dur
ing the course of this address he quot
ed Gen. Robert f. Lee to the effect
that Grant was without a superior in
all history as a commander of armies.
No sooner had the newspapers print
ed the story than old Confederate SOL
diers from a score of states said they
didn't believe Lee ever said it, They
said 1t did not sound like Lee, and that
if the great Confederate had given vent
to such sentiment, it took the cOun-
try a mighty long time to find it out.
on the whole, the southerners discred-
tied the senator's authority for the
quotation.
1t has now developed though that
old Union soldiers are denying that
Lee ever gave such prasie to Grant.
Half Il hundred of them have written
TO Senator Borah to tell him what they
think about it. They say that Sena-
tor Borah just conceived that idea
himself I'm an effort To smooth over the
rumpus which Senator Heyburn, also
of Idaho, stirred up over the position
of Lees statue i'm Statuary Hall. One
or two of the letter writer's recalled
that Senators Borah and Hepburn
parted ways on the Lee issue.
Now the westerner has come To the
conclusion that when civil war sub
jects are being even calmly discussed
that II s impossible to please any Of
the people any of the Washing
ton Times.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-06-21

81 Foote the humorist, was once but
tonholed by a country gentleman who
complained bitterly of the heavy cost
of burying a relative who was an at
torney. Why, do you bury attorneys
here?" asked Foote. gravely. Yes, to
be sure: how else?" "Oh, we never
do that in London" Mo-" exclaimed
the amazed squire. How do you man.
age, them" Why, when an attorney
happens to die, We lay him out in a
room by himself, throw open the WIN
dows. lock the door, and in the morn
ing he is entirely off" Indeed! and
what becomes of him." why, that we
can not exactly tell. not being ac-
quainted with supernatural causes. All
that we know of the matter is that
there is a strong smell of birthstone
in the room the next morning-At-
lanta Georgian.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-06-21

He's a Regular Yankee.-Telephone
girls are used to being called up to
give the correct time of day; to being
called down by the man in hurry for
reporting that the number he calls
does not answer when he is sure"
some one is awaiting beside the phone
at the other end for his signal, but a
Maiden telephone girl has one on them
all when it comes to being bureau OF
information. Last Sunday this call
came to the Maiden switchboard:
Say, operator, my wife has gone
away and left me to cook the Sunday
dinner. have got along all right except
for the spinach, but that's got my goat
and l can't even find a recipe book.
How do you cook the blamed stuff?"
1t wasn't exactly telephone business,
but he got the directions. Out in NAL
den there is some woman who is eX-
tolling the virtues of her husband as
cook, and the recipient of the praise
isn't saying much.-Boston Journal.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-06-21

The Professor Knew.-An absent
minded German professor attached to
a university in Washington, discovered
the other day that he had left his UNI
brella somewhere. AS he had visited
three stores, he thought it must be in
one of them, so he started back and
called at all three in turn.
No umbrella has been found here,
the professor was told in the first
store. The German shrugged his
shoulders and went out.
At the next store the same response
was made; whereupon the professor
shrugged his shoulders once more, and
went TO the third establishment,
There he found his umbrella awaiting
him.
Il must say" said he to his family,
on returning home, they were more
honest at the last place than at the
other stores."-Lippincott
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-06-21

Got EN- AII.-It is told that a GER
tain lady of a western Kansas town
desired to show kindness to the cap
tain of the local state militia company
and wrote the following invitation:
Mrs - requests the pleasure OF
Capt. IS company at reception on
Friday evening.
A prompt reply came: With the eX-
ception of three men who are sick
with measles, Capt. IS company ac-
cepts your kind invitation and will
come with pleasure to your reception
Friday evening. City Jour
nal
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1910-06-21

ia II want the office. Of course.
said the aspiring statesman, but not
unless l am the peoples choice. y
I'VE can fix that. too" said his cam
paign manager, "only you know it's
a good deal more expensive to be the
peoples choice than it is to go in as
the compromise candidate"