davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1910-11-22
HUMOR OF The day
Br'er Bar PLAYS the Goat.


"Once pom time" said Brot her
Dickey. "ole Br'er Bar. seem ez how
de hunters wuz all time huntln' him
till he had no peace of his life, said ter
hise'f dat he'd jine de meat trust.
"1'll be safer dar, he sez, wild de
higher mp foks-so high dat even de
gover'mint can't git ladder long 'nuff
ter reach ter whar l. is
"Br'er Bar didn't say nuthin' ter de
yuther creetns bout what his inten-
tions WIZ. but climb de meat trust hill
In de dark o. de moon all by his lone
self. an wen he got ter de top he sez,
seZ he: Oar. now; | aln't no mo- one
O. yo' common, low groun' folks. Is
in de higher up class. is, an gwine
ter stay dar.'
"De president o. de meat trust shuck
hans wild him. he did an tor him
how glnd he WIZ ter see him and des
ter make hisse'f at home an comforta.
BILE.
But 10 an behor, de president
went right Off an called meetin' o.
ue uiTtCIOTS uu say Ter eul'
"Oe Br'er Bars in sich high
class now we must raise de price on
him ter ten times what 1t WIZ befo'.'
So dey put de price so high dat de
folks in de valley had ter git tele-
scope ter see it.
Dat made Br'er Bar so valllble dat
all de people ez well ez de gover'mint
wanted ter git at him. an de hounds
wnz on his trail day an night.
"De hilltop got too hot ter .hor him,
an Br'er Bar didn't know what in
de worl' ter do bout IL, so he up an
axe1 de advice o. de president an de
board o. directors. an after dey'd
studied bout It dey said ter him:
"'De only way fer you ter git out
o. yo' present unfort'nit sitiwatiop Is
ter tell 'em you's goat an butt right
into 'em an scatter de whole yelpin'
crowd of 'en. Dat's yo' only saliva
ton!
"Br'er Bar had his misgivin's. but
he say he'd try it.
IAN he did. an dat wuz right whar
he lost out. fer. payin' goat ter de big
fellers. dey mos rid him ter death. at
ter which dey kicked him cl'ar into de
gover'mint camp. nn' de gover'mint
locked him mp in n iron cage. an he
wuz free show ter de people dat
come an go from dat time on.
"He wuz high minded. all right. but
his experience wuZ too limited ter git
away wild it,"-Frank l.. Stanton's
Fables.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1910-11-22
Pirates Coins.

The doubloou, that famous coin Of
romance. Is still in circulation. The
Isabella doubloon, worth So, still re-
mains current IN Cuba. The doubloon
is so called because when first coined
1t was double the value of pistole--
that is. 1t was worth $s. The name
was given later to double doubloon
current In the West Indies. Pieces Of
eight, with which every reader of
Robinson Crusoe" is familiar, are also
In circulation. They are simply Span
ish dollars Of eight reals. A doubIoon
dated 17ST-there are said to be only
six of that date in eXistence-sold a
year or six ago for $6,200.-New York
Press.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1910-11-22

"Of course my likeness Is not for
sale. but 1 might give it to the church,
and the church could sell it."
Certainly"
How much would it bring?"
"a thousand dollars"
Miss Cromwell caught her breath.
There were two reasons for her doing
so-viz. she was tlattered that any
man should value her photograph SO
highly. and she would be delighted to
hand in thousand dollars to the
church. She turned the matter over
rapidly in her mind. What difference
would BENEFITS possession of her like
ness make? A man might buy pho
tograph of fashionable beauty for a
few cents. Those Of actresses were
for sale everywhere. The debt was
$1.265. The $265 would undoubtedly
be raised at this fair. The $1,000 she
would get for her photograph would
complete the amount required.
what would you propose to do with
my Photographic" she asked.
Wear 1t In the hunting case Of my
watch"
"Would any one except yourself see
itT
"One standing by when / looked for
the time of day would be likely to see
it."
Miss Cromwell thought again. "Will
you do anything else with it?" she
asked.
"No." y
"Tll think it over. The fair lasts two
evenings. Come tomorrow evening
and I'll give you an answer"
Bennett went away. assuming a
careless air, though he was much in
terested in the proposed deal. He was
desperately in love with the girl and
would have paid dozen church debts
to get her. The next evening Qatel he
stopped at her booth. AS soon as she
saw him the color left her cheek She
was waiting on some one else at the
time and as soon as she had finished
opened little box. took out cabinet
photograph and handed II to Bennett.
He concealed look of triumph as he
drew forth Il pocket check book. wrote
check for $1,000 and gave 1t to her
She folded it, placed it In the box from
which she had taken the photograph
and said:
"You can cut the head off If you like,
and II will fit In your watch case"
"That's exactly whatI propose to
do" And he walked away. apparent
ly as careeSsly as If he had purchased
pincushion.
The next day Luther Bennett while
chatting with his friend Dave Spald
ing took ont his watch to look nj the
time, and Spalding caught glimpse
Of Miss Cronnwell,s he'd in the case.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1910-11-22
For the Church Debt
By ALICE MCDONALD
Copyright. 1910. by American Press
Association.

You will never get Edith" said
Dave Spalding to his friend Luther
Bennett, land you may as we'll not
try. You are rich and she Is poor, but
you're not the kind of a fellow she
would fancy
You think so?'
81 know So"
'What will you give her for we'd
ding present II do?"
"What will | give? 1t seems to me
that's heads you win, tails lose.
What will you give If you don't?"
"I'll give thousand dollars to any
charity you name"
'In what time"
"One year"
"Have you received any encourage
ment"
None whatever"
very well; I'll so you. How do you
propose to win?"
THE basis of my operations will be
money"
shell not marry for money"
mot directly, but she may be in
duced to do so indirectly"
A few weeks later Bennett received
a note from Miss Edith Cromwell stat
ing that Il fair was to be given to raise
money for the church of which she
was a member with view to paying
Off the debt. She hoped he would at
tend and help the cause. Mr.. Bennett
replied that he would be on hand.
When the evening for the sale arrived
he sauntered up to Miss Cromwell's
booth, expended $40 In various articles
he had no use for and left them to be
sold again. Miss Cromwell was dis
appointed. She had expected to get at
least double the amount from one she
knew to be her admirer and rich.
us there nothing else you see that
you wantT'
Nothing else? l haven't yet bought
anything l want"
"ls there nothing | can procure for
you?"
"Ges; l would like photograph of
your pretty face, but that, of course.
is not for sale"
Miss Cromwell made no reply for
awhile. She was thinking she might
get pretty sum for the church by
yielding in the matter. Finally she
said:
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1910-11-22
Couldn't If They Would.

The landlord of the Eagle Temper
ance hotel. Yaptown, and the cigar
drummer were looking at man nail
ing "Do Not Spit on the Sidewalk
sign to nearby lamppost.
"Sheer waste Nv time an money
putin up them there signs In this here
towr-abserlutely no need NV them al
ALL" remarked the landlord disdain.
fully.
why. how's thatT asked the drum
mer In astonishment.
why" retorted the landlord, this
here fool town went dry over a yeal
ago"-Illustrated Sunday Magazine.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1910-11-22
LOST HIS LINEN JOB.
The Salesman Who Made a Carioaturo
of a. I. Stewart.

" ~ OhOWdFNs
A. n. Stewart was shown one day by
one of his confidential employees an
amusing caricature of himself done In
pencil,
"Good, good" he laughed. "rhat's
excellent. Who did III"
"A young salesman at the linen coun-
ter. He scratched II Off as you pass
ed the other morning l managed to
get II from him, and now he's scared
stiff for fear you'll see it," was the
laughing reply.
Scared stiff. is hep" said Mr.. Stew
art, with n twinkle in his eye. "Just
sent him to me, will you?"
A little later slim youth entered
Mr.. Stewards private office and said
he understood he had been sent for.
EYES, said Mr.. Stewart gravely and,
holding up the sketch asked, Did you
do this?"
The lad grew pale and stammered:
~ beg your pardon, sir; II was only
bit of fun. | meant no offense."
"ThatS all very well, but you'll have
to give up your job here"
The youth humbly protested, when
Mr.. Stewart burst out laughing and
said; Don't say any more, my boy,
I'm only joking. Your sketch Is excel
lent, and as II would be a sin to keep
a man of gOur artistic talent behind a
linen counter | propose TO supply you
with the means TO study art"
Mr. Stewarts proposition was crate
fully accepted and II was thus that
John Il. Rogers, the sculptor, began his
artistic career New York Press.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1910-11-22
Cool.

Cool.
She drew back with gesture of
scorn. you are cumherer Of the
earth" she exclaimed.
"Ha, ha" he laughed.
How cooi you are" the beautiful
girl protested. moved to species of
admiration in spite of herself.
"Oh. yes-a sort OF cucumberer of
the earth. you know" he retorted.-
Puck.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1910-11-22
Troubles of the Aneients,

Alexander the Great was signing be-
cause there were no more worlds to
conquer.
but, your majesty" cried his cour.
tiers. you'll have trouble enough in
benevoiently assimilating the various
peoples you have conquered on this
planet"
Forcibly impressed by this idea
which had not occurred to him, Alex.
ander frightened up and began to lay
plans for enlarging the regular army
Chicago Tribune.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1910-11-22

Sunday.
Mr.. Cleveland Swaggart OF Nash
vile, Ohio, spent Sunday with friends
in Danville.
Miss Anna Neldon of Mt. Vernon
spent Sunday in Danville the guest of
her parents.
Mr.. William MCGEE went to Newark
Monday noon to attend to some mat
ters of business.
Mrs. l.. w. Drake left Monday for
ten days visit with relatives in
Tinin and Toledo.
Mrs. F.. l.. Porter Of Buckeye City
spent Monday in Mt Vernon, the
guest of relatives.
Mr.. and Mrs. p. j. Smith of Mar.
tinsburg spent Sunday in Mt. Vernon
the guests of friends.
Mr.. and Mrs. l.. A. Parrish of Dan
vile are spending several days with
relatives in Warsaw.
Mr.. and Mrs. Don Gibson of Monon
gahela, Pa, are the guests of their
aunt, Mrs. r. w. Paazig.
DR.. and Mrs. f. l.. Singrey of East
Chestnut street spent Sunday in Jello
way the guests of relatives.
Miss Ruth Baxter and Master Paul
| Eorovtbo ora confined IN THAR hnm ae
in Brandon with the mumps.
Mr.. James McDonough went to Gin
cinnati Sunday in the interest of the
/ G. A. e G. railroad company.
Mrs. r. G. Baker of Danville has
returned to her home after weeks
visit with relatives in Columbus.
Mr.. I. T. Turbin of this city, went
to Urichsville, Ohio, Monday, noon to
attend to some business matters.
u. r. X. of P. dance Wednesday
November %. Be sure and bring your
invitation and preent it at the door.
Mr.. and Mrs. Earl Sperry of Mt
Vernon are spending several days with
freinds and relatives in Buckeye City
Rev. Thomas McCalla, wife and chill
dren of Cleveland arrived in the city
! this afternoon to visit with relatives
Miss Letha Burris returned to her
home in Danville Sunday after a
weeks visit with relatives in Colum
bus.
Miss Anna Wertz of Orrville is
spending several days in Danville the
guest of Professor and Mrs. e. o.
Pore.
Mrs, David Sawyer returned to her
home in GAINESVILLE Monday after
spending Sunday with friends in Mt
Vernon.
Mrs. Harry Dixon of Marengo spent
Saturday and Sunday in Brandon the
guest of her parents, Mr. and Mrs
Hugh Jones.
Mr.. and Mrs. Roy Morey of Brandon
SPcht touiudy III hpDielob, ohlo' tHe
guests of Mrs. Morey's sister, Mrs
, Albert Long.
There will be an oyster supper in
the Grange hall in Harrison township
on Saturday evening, November 26
Everybody invited.
Mr., l.. X. Lepley OF this city lef
Sunday for New Orleans, La, where
he will remain for some time trans
acting business matters.
Mrs. Alexander Cassil and sister
Mrs. Cunningham and Mrs. Hodges O
this city left Sunday for Chicago
where they will attend the funeral o
their brother, Mr.. Hunter.
The Mt. Vernon Railway Co. ha.
been incorporated with capital o
$4,000 by N. H. G. Kachelmacher, G
V. Critchheld, G.. b. Donahue and i
II. Anderson.
Mr.. and Mrs. James Hancock ant
son. Dean, Mr.. Ray McMann and Mis-!
Gladys Griess of Martinsburg and Mr.
James Watson of Mt. Vernon spen
Sunday at the home of Mr.. and Mrs
Isaac Watson near Brandon.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1910-11-22
"By Jove!" exclaimed Spalding.

by Jove" exclaimed Spalding.
whats the matter?"
"You have won already"
~ don't claim to have won" And,
pleading an engagement. Bennett hur-
ried away.
Spalding went at once to Miss Crom-
well. told her that he had seen her
head in Benefits watch case and ask
ed her If Bennett had a right to wear
1t there.
Miss Cromwell was stunned. She
admitted that he had, but she wouldn't
explain. Since she was unwilling to
have it knowI thrt she had sold her
likeness even for the church she never
explained. She sent for Bennett, who
came and convinced her that there
was but one way out of the matter
to marry him.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1910-11-22
Tho Practical Instinct.

"Why do so many children dislike
mentrl arithmetic" said one school.
teacher.
II SUPPOSE replied the other. Its
because boy resents figuring on how
many imaginary apples mythical
John has instead of getting out after
some real ones of his own."-Washing-
ton Star.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1910-11-22
A Technical Objection.

Miss Smooth-l think women ought
to be voters, don't you?
Miss Shnrp-There is one objection
to their being party voters.
Miss Smooth What Is that?
Miss Sharp-So many of them are
such cats they would be bound to
scratch the tlcket.-Baltimor Ameri-
can.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1910-11-22
I suppose you witnessed the
Exclaimed.

cam 70 undprstnEd, then" asked
disappointed poet M the editor handed
back his latest productions, that you
don't like my versPs?"
"les: don't think much
"Ah. you don't think. | soc! Tint
explains it."sDetoit News.Trlbuno.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1910-11-22

Has 1t Come to This?

Hank Stubbs-l'd like to go out an
pick up a few chestnuts, but don't
dast to-
Bige Miller-Why not?
Hank Stubbs-Tm feard I'll be mis-
took fur red squirrel an git shot
Boston Herald.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1910-11-22
New Way to Get an Auto.

$50 you have bought an automobile.
Well, well! Somebody leave you
legacy?"
NO. You see. do without eggs for
breakfast. so | have n good deal Of
money that don't need" = Newark
News.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1910-11-22


Plenty of Men to Do Work.
Washington, Nov. 81. - Colonel
George w. Goethals, the engineer In
charge of the construction OF the
Panama canal, has submitted his an
nual report to Secretary of War
Dickinson, and the same has heen
made public. In this report Colonel
Goethals discusses the big slides In
the Culebra cut. which have impeded
che progress of the work. The col.
onel says:
Previous to the fiscal year the
movement of material into the prism
was due almost entirely to slides
caused by the movement OF the top
layer OF clay on smootn, sloplng sur
faces Of rock or other material
harder than the clay. In addition to
the slides, however, several breaks
exist in the banks Of the canal. At
the points where these breaks exist
the underlying rock Is Of poor quail
tty, intersected by vertical seams
oioPHS AuWulu tut Nduhls
The average number of old EN-
ployes ON the roll of the commission
this year was 4,3G9, and on the rolls
of the Panama railroad 1853, total
OF 5.l22. Laborers recruited during
the year aggregated 2519, all West
Indians, and most of them from Bar.
bados.
hnt
cruiting was done In January, 1910
and since that date immigration has
exceeded emigration. Colonel Goe-
thals adds that as the work has
reached It's maximum, the present
population OF the zone furnishes an
ample labor supply. There are now
2.f7S buildings In the canal zone
owned by the commission. Tho total
amount Of material received from
the United States during the year
aggregated 100000 tons, valued at
Sl0,l02.000
Uncle Sam Good Host.
Uncle Sam, according to Colonel
Goethals' report, Is running 10 hotels
on the isthmus, 10 European labor
VIC hNooNn auu Su NOHlilOu ldDOISIh
Kitchens. On Uncle Sans best hotel
on the isthmus he made a profit for
the year of $4,572.23.
During the year 6,907 arrests were
made In the canal zone, which Is an
increase of 672 over the number OF
the previous year. During the year
~ schools for white and l5 for col
ored childrep were maintained. In
the course OF tue year also paid
nre company was established at Ga
tun and fire alarm system installed,
The daily average OF sick In the
canal zone was 23.01 out OF every
1000 employed as against 23.40 for
the preceding year. The total mum.
ber OF deaths among employees was
only 548, equivalent to an average OF
1884 per thousand.
Colonel Goethals' reports show
that considerable work already has
beer done on devices for the han.
ding OF vessels and protection of
them. Among other things, he says
a design has been prepared for an
electric locomotive which, 1t is
thought. VIII prove satisfactory to
tow vessels through the lock and
have full control of them from the
time they approach until they are
locked through to point where hey
can proceed under their own ste..n.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1910-11-22
Choice of Evils.

Don't you know" said the young
widow. that bachelor is an object Of
public derision?"
Il have heard So" rejoined the old
bachelor "and have also heard that
a married man gets his at home."-
| Chicago News.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1910-11-22
Friend Indeed.

Harker-I hear your friend Markley
was married last night,
Parker Yes.
Harker-l suppose you witnessed the
ceremony
l'nrker-N Not |. I don't believe In
gloatlng over friends misfortune
Chicago News.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1910-11-22
EXPLAINS THOSE
CULEBRA SLIDES
L
Engineer GOeihaIs Reports Pro-
gTeSS on Canal Work.
lSTHMUS NO HEALTH RESORT

Daily Average Of Sick Was 23.ot In
Every Thousand and Deaths Aver
aged to.84 Per Thousand-Govern-
ment Makes Money Out Of String
Of Hotels - Devices For Handling
Vessels Already Being Installed.
Plenty of Men to Do Work.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1910-11-22

"Of course my likeness Is not for
sale, but 1 might give 1t to the church,
and the church could sell it."
Certainly"
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-09-12
MISS ROBINSON BRIDE
 OF MR. F. ). CURTISS
President of Chicago Stock Ex. change Weeds Late John K.
 Robinson's Daughter

Tn the large banquet hall of the Hotel Gotham in New York at noon Saturday Miss Eleanor Robinson, daughter of the late John K. Robin son, was married to MT. F'redericiSD. Countiss, president of the Chicago New York Stock Exchange. The ceremony was performed by Arch- deacon Beeman, of Fairfield, in the presence of about two hundred guests.
 Miss Robinson has but recently made a complete recovery from the severe burns she sustained at her home in Fairfield. The gas producer on the estate got out of order. Miss Robinson approached it to ascertain and she with servant was severely burned.
 The decorations were in white and green. The bride entered the room with her brother, MT. John K. Rob inson, IT,, and she was attended by Mrs. Tracy Lay Turner, a sister of the bridegroom, and Mrs. Arthur H. Marks, of Akron, Ohio. She wore a white satin gown, with Empire train, point lace. Her veil of point lace was worn by her aunt, Mrs. Henry S. Glover, at her own marriage. She carried shower bouquet of lilies of the valley and white orchids
 MT. Tracy Lay Turner was the best man and the ushers were Messrs Perry M. Ken1y, Paul K. Stins, liar old B. Wiley and Lewis F. Howard, the latter of Chicago.
 Mir Countiss and his bride after their honeymoon trip will reside at No 2,922 Michigan avenue, Chicago, their country house being at Lake Geneva, Wis M
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-09-12
Special from United Press.)

Poughkeepsie, Sept. 12-MaAked ban dits working with a freedom of man ner that would have done Jesse James and his band proud, today held up three prominent Ponghxeepsie resi- dents at the point of revolyers and stripped them of much valuable jew elry, $500 in cash and valuable papers. That they were prepared to add nur- der to robbery was made plain when one of them fired two shots at one of the autoists who resisted being search ed, missing him simply because he had stumbled and lost his balance while trying to strike his assailantl The three men held up today are James O. Deery, Harry Hoilister and Charles w. TownsHy.
 As they were bowling along the Rhfnebeck-P Poughkeepsie road two men sprang from behind a tree waving red lanterns. Supposing there was an ob- struction in the roadway, Deery, who was running the machine; threw on the brakes. As the car came to a stop the pair with the lanters were joined by third man and three re- volvers quickly covered the autoists.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-09-12
CHINAMEN HELD
 FOR U. s. OFFICERS
fsneciaI from United Press. }

Springfield, Mass, Sept. 12.-Four Chi11amen, who were taken from a freight car here yesterday under sus- picion of attempting to eyade the inn migration laws, were arraigned before United States Commissioner Rice this morning and their eases continued pending the decision of the govern ment authorities as to what action they would take.
 The Chinamen were almost dead from thirst when arrested, having been without water for two days. One of them was so weak that in getting out of the car he fell to the ground, bruising his head and badly wrench ing his arm.
 The car was shipped on Sept. 8 from Burke, N. Y, near the Canadian line, and was consigned to New Haven.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1910-09-12
MASKED BANDITS HOLD UP AUTOISTS, ROBBINC THEM
 Al. POINT OF REVOLV VERS

Throw up your hands and get out bandits, and the men obeved. trheir money and YvaluabesS were quickly taken by one of the men while the othef two stood by with their revol- vers ready. Deery thought he saw a chance to resist and aimed a blow at the man who was searching him. The latter dodged and Beery lost his bal ance and fell just as one of the other bandits fired two shots point blank at him. They passed over him but the three autoists were so badly frightened they made no further resietance. and after they had been searched piled in the auto at the word of command and started back the way they had come.
 As they looked back they saw the three holdup men disappear in the woods beside the road. This holdup early today is the last of nearly a score of similar crimes and following so closely the holdup and murder of a 'brickyard cashier and his driver a week ago, leads the police to believe an organized band is at work. Posses of deputy sheriffs and police from this city made a. fruitless search for the bandits.