davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Holbrook argus., 1910-09-06
Lona Out of tn. Sea.

MT. Gaynor, an Irishman celebrated for his good humor, was dining one Friday with friend and fish was the only meat served. Gaynor was par. ticularly fond of haddock, and seated himself near a fine specimen. His ol. factory nerves, however. soon made him aware that the fish was not too fresh. He first lowered his mouth to- ward the head of the fish, and then his ear, as if conversing with it. The woman of the house, perceiving his peculiar motions, asked him whether he wished anything "a,
 Nothing" replied Gaynor, nothing at all, madam. I was merely asking this haddock whether he could give me any news of my friend, Capt. Mur- phy, who was drowned last Monday {; but he tells me that he knows nothing of the matter. for he himself hasn't been to sea these three weeks."-Sun. day Magazine.
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Her Threat.

The little grass widow and the man from the west had dined together sev- eral evenings at Balogh's, but the handsome man at the other end of the table never had looked at them once, says the New York Press. No matter how interesting they purposely made their conversation he never batted an eye, just sat there over his wine and his paper.
 Isn't he the handsome brute?" whispered the little grass widow. And never to notice mel"
 q believe" her companion whis- pered back. that he listens to every word we say. I don't believe he misses anything"
 You just wait" warned the little grass widow, till some fine night when come down here all by myself and ask him for the salt. Then see what happens!"
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he seemed entirely satisfied and rat tied on. By the time they were seated she began to understand his words.
 "I caught your name,' he was say ing, but I didn't understand much else. You are sister of Mrs. Haigbt, aren't you?"
 Margery's heart bounded. If this young man took her for her mothers sister she could not look so painfully young as she had feared
 "No: not sister," she stammered. No? But the name is the same" insisted the other. Surely you are some connection"
 gleam of fun came into Margery's eyes. "Yes;" she prevaricated. We are connections-by marriage"
 q knew it. You look like her-very much. What a lovely woman she is. envy Haight whenever I see her."
 Margery glanced at her mother with new eyes.
 But you must be good deal younger than she"
 "Am IF" Her companion turned and looked down on her and Margery saw that he was not the boy that she had supposed he was. Well, I suppose am. But what's a mere matter of time, after all?"
 "Why haven't I seen you here be- fore?"
 "Margery's eyes danced. i've never been asked here before," she quibbled.
 What! Why-I can hardly be- lieve it! Never before? Why not? I don't mean to be personal, but"
 "Oh, mother-Mrs. Haight had her reasons. Good reasons, too. Maybe Margery was beginning to feel very much at her ease. Her words came with a rush, half choked by gurgling laugh that she could not repress.
 The tall young man looked paintd. Don't do that, pleasei" he exclaimed.
 Do what?"
 Laugh like that!" he smiled "I cant stand it."
 Margery gurgled again. Then she glanced at the head of the table and caught her mothers eye beaming ap' proval and laughed once more.
 There you go again. murmured the young man, responsibility. But about those reasons. If Mrs. Haight didn't have you before. why dld she have you to-night?"
 Tonight? Because-oh! because of Mr Drexel."
 "Mr. Drexel?" The ugly young man looked amazed.
 "Yes! Do you know him? Point
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eIxIna1hi. Parent. a Shock.

Young Edwin Higbee made his parents quicken their respiration and look up from their papers the other evening in a hurry.
 Father" began the young man. "how far should a fellow go with . girl?"
 Why, eh-uh, that-that depends" stammered William T. Higbee, the parent. What do you mean"
 Well, I went just as far as could. didn't know whether her folks would like it if I went any further. So just"
 How far did you go?" broke in the father, excitedly, wondering what sort of a mesalliance in the family he might have to face some day with such a Don Juan for a son.
 "Oh, I didn't go any further than the gate. had a notion to walk clear up to the door with her, but I didn't know whether I ought to or not, so I just stopped at the gate and said good by and"
 The parents were already breathing deep sighs of relief-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
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BEAT THE OLD MAN
LOVERS FoRcEFUL APPEAL UN.
 ANSWERABLE.
He Didn't Want Mir. Gotrocks' Daugh. ter, She Wanted Him, and That You Must Admit Was
 Different Thing.

As the young man entered, the old man looked up and scowled.
 "Well?" said the old man, shortly. Your daughter" began the young man, but the old man cut him off ab- ruptly.
 I've noticed that you've been harg ing around here a good deal," he said T suppose that you've come to tell me that you love her and Wan 10 marry herr"
 "No," replied the young man, calm iy. I've come to tell you that she loves me and wants to marry me" "What?" roared the old man.
 "She says so herself" persisted the young man.
 T never heard of such an exhibition of egotistical impertinence," said the old man.
 Then you misunderstood me-" ex plained the young man. My assertion is dictated by policy and not by i'm pertinence. You see, it's just this way. What I want is nothing to you; now, Is it?"
 "Why-er-not-exact
 
 wouldn't matter to you, would it?"
 Certainly not"
 You're under no obligations to SUD- ply me with what l want, are you?" Hardly
 Then what foolish proposition it would be for me to come to you and say: MT. Gotrocks, 1 have been very favorabiy impressed with your house and furniture or I think I'd like your daughter or anything else in that line, But when your daughter wants anything it's different Now, isn't it different?"
 Tt certainly is different" admitted the old man, cautiously.
 Precisely" said the young man. "She and I figured that all out very carefully last night. You see, I have no particular prospects, and we could both see that there wasn't one chance in hundred that you would give her to me. Then she suggested that you had never yet refused anything that she wanted, no matter what the cost might be, and that perhaps 1t would be a good plan to change the usual order somewhat. We sort of felt that 1t wouldn't be right to ask you to do anything for me, but it's different in her case, as 1 remarked before. So I'm here merely at as her agent to say that she wants me, and that she wants me very much. and to ask you to please see that she gets me. She never has wanted anything so much as she wants me. and I am so favor ably disposed toward her that, If you care to make the investment. I shall be quite willing to leave the terms en- tirely to you and her"
 Naturally, she got him. No wide awake business man is going to over look a chance to get such fine sam pie of nerve in the family.
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sauanderIna Ability.

Doing the lower when the higher ia possible constitutes one of the great est tragedies of human life.
 The squsndering Of money seems . wicked thing when we think of the good that might be done with 1t; but what about the wicked waste of abili
 ty, the deliberate throwing away of 50, 75, perhaps 90, per cent. of one's success possibility just because he never trained himself to use it, toi grasp it with such vigor and power that he can fling his life into his cao reer with its maximum effectiveness! [!
 Most people take hold of life with the tips of their fingers. They never, get hold of the life proposition with that grip and tenacity of purpose and vigor of determination which does things worth while. They just hang on the outskirts of things, playing upon the surface of their possibilities without ever getting down into the marrow of their being. where efficiency. and power dwell.-Orison Swett Mar den, in Success Magazine.
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RIVERS THAT MAKE DAMASCUS
uninhabitable Were 1t Not for These Two Streams.

The situation of Damascus is re- markable-she stands isolated on an oasis of the vast desert which every. where hems her in You may see from Damascus the sunset frs touch
 with purple the low western hills 2s miles away. These hills mark the beginning of the great desert-beyond
 them there is nothing but a rolling waste and the long roads to Palmyra and Bagdad. The permanence and
 prosperity of Damascus are due to the presence of two rivers. which have converted this spot of the dreary. desolate and uninhabited desert into . smiling and we'll watered plain. The PharpaS approaches only within seven miles of Damascus, but by means of canals and aqueducts sends It's life giving waters to the gardens of the city. The Abana is the stream from which the city's main supply of water is obtained Minerva like, 1t springs full born from the base of perpen- dicular rock at Ain Filth, in the heart of the Anti-Lebanons, and runs . course of ten miles in a gorge. a large river 20 to 30 feet wide and four feet deep. its waters always fresh and ice cold, casting out branches every where, permeating every nook and corner of the city. until, ps one has said: Literally, there is scarce g street. bazaar. khan, courtyard or dwelling house which has not It's mar. ble oY stone fountain constantly filled with running water supplied directly by the Abana itself" Thus, the Aba na. not fruitlessly wasting her waters on that thirsty land, saves them in her narrow gorge till she can hing them we'll out on the desert, and ex- pends all her life at once in the crea- tion of . single city.-Biblical World.
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MakingF Friends
 for Father
By CRITTENDEN MARRIOTT

Copyright, 1909 by Associated Literary
 Press)
 When the faintness passed away Margery found herself walking in to dinner on the arm of an ugly young man whom she was sure she had never before seen. She was conscious that she was talking, too, though she could not remember a word that she had been saying.
 This might have alarmed her If 1t had not been that she could not re- member anything that had happened in the last half-hour-not since Miss Whiting had telephoned that she could not come to the dinner, which was then ready to be served.
 Her mother had rushed up to her room. "Margery! Margery!" she clamored. Throw aside those les sons, quick! You'll have to come to dinner tonight Miss Whiting can't come and MT Drexel is horribly super stitious and he'll be worried to death If we make him sit down thirteen at table and your father is very anxious to make good impression on him. And the Princess Lavloff and Lord Merton are coming and I wouldn't have anything go wrong for the world. You've got lots of sense. even if you are only F and you'll pull through somehow-and anyhow you'll have to come. I haven't time to help you dress; must be down to receive people But I'll send Louise to you. She is getting out my blue gown now. Thank goodness! you take after your father and are big enough to wear my clothes. Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!"
 Then Mrs. Haight rushed out of the room and Louise had rushed in and Margery had rushed into the blue gown and the next thing she really knew was when she was clinging de spairingly to the arm of the ugly young man and wondering what on earth she had been saying.
 The young man did not seem to no tice her confusion. When he looked down-he was a tall young man- ] when he looked down into her flower l like face, she smiled. instinctively, and
Holbrook argus., 1910-09-06
Deafness Cannot Be
 Cured

By local applications, as they cannot reach the diseased portion of the There is only one way to cure deafness, and that is by constitutional remedies. Deafness is caused by an inflamed condition of the mucous lin ing of the Eustachiau Tube When this tube is inflamed you have a rumbling sound or imperfect hearing, and when it is entirely closed, Deafness is the result. and unless the inflammation can be taken out and this tube restored to it's normal condition, hearing will be destroyed forever; nine out of ten cases are caused by Catarrh which is noth- ing but an inflamed condition of the mucous surfaces.
 We will give One Hundred Dollars for any case of Deafness (caused by catarrh) that cannot be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure. Send for circulars, free.
 F.J. CHENEY & Co.,. Toledo, O.
 Sold by Druggists, 75c.
 Take Halls Family ills for constipation.
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His Daily Stunt"

Rameses II. was showing his royal guest from Babylonia through an Egyptian newspaper office.
 Here" he explained, "are copies of our paper, all ready for mailing. Each copy is two feet thick, weighs 800 pounds, and is made of the finest limestone. That crowd of young men on our left, busy with mallets and chisels, are our reporters and special writer's"
 How interesting!" cried Bel-Shar- Uz ", "but tell me-who is the young man carving grotesque hieroglyhice on wonder lofty pillar?'
 "Oh!" chuckled the Pharaoh. that is the humorist, getting up his funny column!"
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to me, please. I want to see;

him out to me, please. want to see him.
 The other glanced around the table. q don't see him." he observed.
 Don't you? Well, he must be here somewhere. know, for | wouldn't have been here tonight exs cept for him. You see. pa-Mr. Haight is very anxious to make a very. good impression on limits some business affair, think-and SO" And so they chose you to do thsl work eus
 Margery looked up, startled She had not thought her companions voice could take so stern note. His eyes. too, were steely. Abashed, she fal- tered.
 "What-what is wrong?" she asked pitifully What have I done?" f
 You, child, Nothing! Only they did not teach you your part well. ."Istyl
 My part? What do you mean?" sus
 Didn't Mrs. Haight tell you to try to beguile Mir. Drexel?" IA
 Margery's eyes opened wide. No. indeedi" she exclaimed. "I don't even know him. But he is dreadfully su- perstitious, you know, and when Miss. Whiting telephoned at the last min. ute that she couldn't come. it would have made thirteen at table if q hadn't taken her place. Mother said--s there, I've told you now-mother said. I would pull through somehow. and even if 1 did blunder it would be bet; ter than making MT. Drexel unconI. fortable, as he would be if there were thirteen at table. And I have blun: dered-I see that, though don't knoWS how. Why! what" .s
 For the young mans laugh had runs out quite naturally again. "Blun5 dered!" he exclaimed. Not a bit. of i it. You've been the life of the dinner l must"
 He broke of as, at sign from Mrs. Haight, the chairs were pushed back and the guests arose. Then, as he stood aside to let Margery pass, he went on, rapidly:
 You will be in the parlor, won't you? I haven't half finished this deE lightful talk
 But Margery shook her head. "I've got to study my lessons, she an swered, ruefully. "Mr. Drexel won't mind thirteen in the parlor" sl
 "Yes, he will. He'll mind 1t very much. l know he will Promise me that you'll stay" -
 'I'll try!"
 As the girl passed out, the young man moved up close to his host
 By George, Fred!" he exclaimed; "your daughter Is perfectly charming When does she come out?"
 Mir. Haight smiled. Man proposes, but woman disposes," he replied, sen cautiously. Apply to Mrs. Haight for all information about Margery. I be lieve, though, she expects to break her shell next winter"
 Shell make success, all right. By the way, Haight, I don't want to in. trude business at dinner, but if you'll drop around to my office tomorrow, I guess we can fix up that dealAoi yours. think it will be good thing for both of us."
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IN B0YHOOD'S HAPPY DAYS
Youths Natural Exuberance and Snow on the Ground Makes Unfor-
 tunate Combination.

"Is there snow on the ground?" Yes, there are three or four inches of the soft and beautiful. It covers tie earth like white sweater. Last night there were millions of old to- uato cans in eight; this morning there are none"
 of what use Is the snow?"
 "To hide the pile of ashes in onr back yard, and to give the red-headed boy run for hls money"
 Does the red-headed boy welcome the snow?"
 Tt Is his delight. If the earth was covered with peanuts he wouldn't feel more gay. There's a reason"
 And will the red-headed boy go forth this morning?"
 Will he? He is already on the spot. Behold him!"
 Has he hit the grocer in the ear with a snowball?"
 "Yes, 1t was snowfall; but the grocer is ready to swear it was 8 cob blestone."
 And has the butchers boy got one in the neck?"
 Two of 'em."
 And the motorman?"
 Right on the chin"
 And the venerable old gent on the rear platform-why does he look so mad?" Because the snowfall is working down the back of his neck. and he has no ax with which to kill the boy"
 "Now, the red-headed boy has plunked an old woman between the shoulders. Doesn't he remember that he has mother himself?"
 ''He does, and he remembers that fl she is silly enough to get out on the street a morning like this, some boy will plunk her."
 Now, he has plunked the hat oi Senator Swell. Has this boy no rev erence?"
 Not on such an suspicious occasion There comes his dear Sunday y-schoo teacher. Watch and see her jump"
 But why does the boy do these things?"
 70, because he is just a-boy."- Rochester Democrat and Chronicle.
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Well 3.31o Feet Deen.

The record of the deepest well in the world is claimed by France Situ- ated at Ronchamp (Haute-Saone), the Buyer oil well is said to be the deep est that has ever been sunk for in- dustrial purposes. It reaches a depth of 3,310 feet. The temperature at the bottom of the well is not less than 115 degrees Fahrenheit when 1t is 50 degrees Fahrenheit at the mouth of the well. Apart from wells, the deep est boring on the earth's surface is probably that of the Paruschowitx mine, in Upper Silssia- ' atsains z depth of 6.4o3 feet.
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SURELY POET KNEW
"sWEETLY UNREASONABLE" SAID
 HE. OF THE GENTLE SEX.
At Least to the Shoe Clerk His Words Are as Gospei-The Comedy In Selection of her New
 FootqesT.

When a woman has a new pair or shoes sent home," said the cynical salesman, 'she goes to work at 'em very unlike a man under similar cir cumstances.
 "She never shoves her toes into them and yanks at 'em till she's red in the face, nor after getting them on at last does she go stamping around, telling those shoes with great frank ness what her opinion is of 'em and of herself for ever countenancing 'em. No.
 ''She pulls 'em carefully part way on; witches 'em of again to take an other look at 'em to see whether she has got the right shoe on the left foot and left shoe on the right foot; pulls 'em all the way on; looks at 'em dreamily; says they seem to fit so we'll that she's afraid they'll get too big by and by; takes another look at em; twists 'em around to take a side view, gives q little scream, and exclaims:
 "'Oh, my, there's a wrinkle al. ready! Mercy, how loose they are!' Then she looks at 'em again. square in front; works the feet around to find if she can't induce the shoes not to hurt quite so much; takes the shoes off, looks at the heels, the toes, the soles, and the interior; puts 'em on again; walks up and down the room once or twice, and declares posi- I lively to her husband, sitting by:
 They're horrid! I won't have them at any price!'
 Then she tilts down the looking glass on the dresser so she can see how they appear viewed from all the 1 positions the mirror will reflect 'em { to her, backs of, trips sidewise, steps nearer, nearly dislocates her neck try. ing to see how they look from impos- sible points of view, takes another ] farewell glance at 'em from all posi- tions, sits down and says:
 They make my feet look too horrid 2 for anything, and as if I were wearing :: at least threes and half! They never j will do in the world!' "Then she takes 'em off, turns 'em ] over, inspects them heel, toe, sole and inside all over again, smooths out l a wrinkle, pulls at the buttons and says:
 Every button on them will drop
 off the first time I go out in them,
 know! And those heels! They look
 almost ridiculously low enough to be
 common sense heels. The ideal
 Then she draws 'em on again, takes
 'em off, puts 'em on, looks 'em over J again tn the mirror this, that and the
 other way, takes 'em of and says:
 John, dear, won't you give me
 your idea about these shoes? You
 have such excellent taste and judg
 ment in such things Then if John is wise he will lool
 'em over and say that they look te
 him absurdly high as to heel, thin a.
 to sole and too tight around the in
 step.
 !. ".'Oh, do you, dear? she will say and thank him sweetly. Then she will try 'em on again show them off before the mirror, si down, run her hand over 'em gently smile, ring for the maid and say tt A her:
 | "'You may tell the messenger, Jane ,a that will keep the shoes And everybody is satisfied St o much better than mans Is the wa, q of a woman with pair of new shoes.
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What Music Interrupts.

At the far end of the room the musicians were grouped around the piano, playing softly, so softly the people at the other end could hardly hear.
 They seem to love their own music" said she. q like to see them playing so softly. It's nice.''
 They can't play too softly for me-" said he. What would please me most Is to cut it out altogether. It's great interruption to conversation music is."
Holbrook argus., 1910-09-06
Why He Got Up,

It was only about monday. but the commuter yawned. He yawned heav- fly two or three times.
 Got up at six o'clock" he explained. Had to catch my train. When my wife walked me, I said to her: Six o'clock! The chickens haven't begun to crow yet, have they? Why must I get up before the chickens do. I'd like to know
 "I don't know she said, 'unless it's because you're no chicken"
Holbrook argus., 1910-09-06
No Precedent.

"Why should my client be convicted
 of murder?" demanded counsel for the accused. "No other man has ever been convicted in this jurisdiction on such a charge"
 The prosecuting attorney admitted ..hat it hadn't occurred to him in that , ,ght. and the prisoner was according ir discharged.-Central Law Journal.
Holbrook argus., 1910-09-06

Julius Wetzler. one of Hol brooks prominent business men, accompanied by his two sons, were Winslow visitors Thursday stopping over day on their way to Los Angeles where the boys will go to school, and Mir. Wetz Ter will visit with his family.
Holbrook argus., 1910-09-06

H II. Smith, manager of the Holmes Supply Company's Wins low store, returned from Los Angeles Thursday after months visit in Southern California Mrs. Smith anh the baby are still in land of sunshine and flowers visiting with relatives.
Holbrook argus., 1910-09-06

Mir. and Mrs D B ThurstOr entertained Wednesday evening with Spanish dinner. Beside the host and hostess there wer' Mrs c Reeder and Carl Reedei of Searchlight, New, Tom Reede' Dr R G Bazelle, and Mrs. Robert Powell.
Holbrook argus., 1910-09-06

Mrs. Geo. Irwin was an out bound passenger Monday for Los Angeles where she will visit friends and relatives the ensuing month,
Holbrook argus., 1910-09-06

Miss Mabel King. left for her home at La Porte, Ind, Sunday evening. She has been visiting with Mrs Goldsworthy for the past six months
Holbrook argus., 1910-09-06
Quite Different.

Traveler-During my travels ia Italy was captured, bound and gagged by bandits.
 Friend-How romantici Were they anything like the bandits in the opera?
 Traveler-No. indeed; the gags they used were all new.-Exchange.
Holbrook argus., 1910-09-06
Ia the amokIna Room.

Did you see the sharks when you crossed the ocean, MT. Summers?" asked Miss Query.
 ~Yss." replied Summers, his voice sad. q played cards with two of them."-Exchanee.
Holbrook argus., 1910-09-06

Mrs. Goodleigh Cooking from win dow)-sThere goes the curate with that young deaconess again. He's very attentive to her.
 Rev. MT. Goodleigh (reading war news absent-mindedly) VI Yes, Pm afraid a severe engagement is i'm. minept
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Edw. Spitz, representing an Albuquerque firm of wool and hide buyers, was in town Mon- day looking up business.
Holbrook argus., 1910-09-06

Mrs. Harry B Takken return ed Wednesday night from a long visit in Oceanside, Calif..
Holbrook argus., 1910-09-06

Mir. and Mrs. Dick Bruchmai of the Trading Post were Il town Wednesday.