davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-02-12
A STUPID Fellow.

Flaherty He S
not smart at all,
at all. is he?
Smart ?
Faith. he's that
dumb ye could
talk behOind his
back roight before
his face an he'd
not know it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-02-12
Where Her Hopes
Conferred,

81 have a sur
prise in store for
you, dear, he
said. seating him
self at the supper
table.
well, darling. I
hope it's a MILL
merry store. " she
responded quickly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-02-12
True Courage.

Phyllis-Yes. he
was paying atten-
ton to her quite a
long time
Blanc h er-
haps he hadn't tbs
courage to pro-
pose.
Phyllis - Oh, ]
don't know. Per
haps he had the
coura &c not to pro-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-02-12
Threatening.

B o 0 K Agent =
What You say
you never read
this great book ?
Did I hear you
right?
Busy Merchant
No; you didn't
hear me write, but
you'll feel me
speak If you don't
get out.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-02-12
Glad of tn e
Chance

did the old man
/. seem to hesitate
when you asked
him for Laura ~
Not a bit of it.
He said the cater
er and the florist
owed him a lot of
money. and ii
would be a good
way to get even
with them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-02-12
His Kind Of IN


Lawyer VIA It's
your gross income ?
Witness-I have
no gross income
Law erNo in
come at alp
" I n 6 S s-N 0
gross income. I
have a net income
I am in the fish
business
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-02-12
Base FIattery.

FIRST Barber
How did you ever
get d tip out OF
that old baldhead ?
Second Barber
I asked him if he
wanted a hair cut
also.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-02-12
Now He Won't.

Jones is just
ma FRIED"
Ia. ha. That
a good joke on
Jon es.
"A good joke ?"
Yes. He's al
wa vs. Boosted of
b e n g independ-
ent =
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-02-12
Funny.

Dickius-Did you
ever notice any
thing funny about
his con versa ton ?
Pickius-Funny2
I should say not.
There's absolutely
no 20 Mt to it
Dick ms That S
the funny part of
it. Having no
point, how is It
that it bores so
quickly ?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-02-12
The Comedy of
Pretense.
Eleanor-W ia

Eleanor IA t
made you give up
society Edmonia ?
Edlnonia-Oh. /
. got SO dead tired
OF seeing people
Who are nobp "
trying TO act Ike
/ somebody and peo-
uIe who are some
body acting Ike
nobody
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-02-12
HIS BELIZE.
married.

O'Brien-So Flanagan was killed in a
railroad wreck Was it head-on col
hsion?
O'TooIe-No, begobs, his head was
cut off when they found him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-02-12

u told him he
was false. I told
him TO his teeth 90
But what good
did that do2 Maybe
his teeth were
false too. "
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-02-12
c svered the
Ground.

DE sheriff only
had me one time
in my life. said
the colored wit
ness.
And what did
he do with you
then %
He didn't do
nuthin' wild me.
sub. I outrun
him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-02-12
TIL E c areIess
Thina.


DIR. Adjutan |
Bird So you have
AIKEN the whole
bottle Ell ? w ell
It's very strange
that you don't feel
any better.
The Ostrich-Do
YOU know. doctor
it has just occur
red to me that ]
forgot to remove
the cork!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-02-12
Tow ExcusE.

Jack-You passed me without speak
ing TO me.
Gladys oh. / must have been think
ing about you
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-02-12
ARRoAp.

%what's become Of Bunko. the con-
fdence man2"
ooh, he's over doing the continent
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-02-12

"That new boarder is perfectly hor-
rible. He kissed me in the dark han
last night
"Oh, I wouldn't make a fuss about
a little thing like that"
Neither would I. but he begged my
pardon and said he mistook me for the
chambermaid.''
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-02-12

A FIANcEE'S REFLECTIONS.
He danced TWICE with a wallEower.
HOW good of hint said the 6ancee
He danced once with a belle
How mean Of him," she cried.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-02-12

If any one asks
for me. James. I
shall be back in
ten minutes. 4" said
Dicks.
Yes, sir. /" re-
Piled the Office boy,
and how soon viii
you be back If no
one asks for you %
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-02-12

''Who is that man she's flirting with
80 desperately2"
That's her drst husband"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-02-12
TOO PEACEFUL.

'Dey is brothers, amt dey?"
'I guess not. never seed EN- fight
in"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-02-12

ct see some philosopher says that
the way to cure ones self of a love af-
fair is to run away. Do you believe
it,"
Certainly. If you run away with the
girl "
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-02-12
THEY WAIT.

Why is he called the waiter?
VIII some one kindly state?
Because 1T is the eaters
Who always have to wait.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1910-04-21
Notice Of Settlement oa Contract

Notice is hereby given that the Board Of County
Commissioners Of the County Of Sedxwick. State
of Colorado. will meet At the Court House in
Julasburg On the 23rd day Of April. A. D. 1910. at
the hour Of o'clock .. M. for the Purpose Of
settling with the J. F. Wren Building Company,
and J. r. Wren upon codtract for repairs on
County Court House, and all persons interested in
or haviux Claims for material or 1ahor growing
Of said contract arc notified and required to pre-
aent the same TO said Board Of County Commits
sioners on or before said date. for consideration
and settlement.
By order Of the Board Of County Commissioners.
NORAH B. REDFORD
County Clerk
Dated, Julesburg. Colo. April Z. 1910.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1910-04-21
Getting Ready for the Harvest Festival

JIzA~s CAo.da Apa 49, 1910 7
Der
At Of JL44xs
from The d clubs consider h hhe Of de
called meeting Of dat
decided that with
stock S4. viii Be taken Immediately looking toward a formation
and in the will % Of hea
the such renedn.
he for the Fair h features
hoped that the Fair will be .x.o.ny
held IN seag~c4
will k .bus September EAa4 open
di *o and and crafts work by the ladies' exhibited
the three subdivision. and the
hdeaa a
Ia dy land farming the north and nhk lands viii
Each h be
ehha. addition
d sweepstakes for % best general hha from general
makeh
the Jdv Ovid and Sdgk districts dy land and
n.rxea by The s. AnhuL
viii n e
awarded
The ho will then x The and de
De4 The A.bus idudO will du
,eue.e
Th. dodA q h school
Plenty viii be provided q .dne, but competition such
WI odk residents sgk and Da may be enh
Of conn+v
tween dands before mention kptn .ciwa
F~ he residents Of d and tables ov
%n hr nso" the formation Of The Jdtu isbus Ovid .
s'k divisions have each o.aed the The os
the claims which have been made Impartial
hand ,uo .
make h Faa what should BE- Go prove your individual
tanner and aid that daa leads
lit will sponh The viii suggestions you may ca. ave
i ':-*+.t". Signed J. DOBEu, Chan.n
,..:....u. . x E. F. CLAYTON Secretary.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1910-11-26

An exchange says the day is not
far distant when "cards OF
thanks will be a thing of the
past. When death enters home
ne;ghbors never fail to do all in
their power to place a silver lin
ing to the dark cloud and they do
not expect or desire any thanks
through the public press. One
subscriber, however, not to be OUT
done sent in the following: "Mr.
Editor: l desire to thank the
friends and neighbors most heart
Thy in this manner for their co-ope
ration during the illness and
death Of my late husband who es-
capped from me by the hand Of
death on last Friday while eating
breakfast. To my friends and all
who contributed so willingly to-
wards making the funeral a sue
cess / desire to remember m
kindly, hoping these lines will find
them enjoying the same blessing.
l have also q good mileh cow and
through tibet public press. One
which / will sell cheap. God
moves in !, mysterious way His
wonders to perform. He plants
His footsteps on the sea and rides
upon the storm. Also black
and white shoat cheap.-Minde1
Signal Democrat.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1910-11-26
LIVE AND LET LIVE.

Comes now the season which
makes the old say, Give and let
live" particularly pertinent
when some will live whilst others
Will only exist, says the Shreve-
port Times.
Certainly the man who wax
the streets in holey shoes with a
stomach which aches because It
has not been properly nourlshed'
is using the word in its
most horrible sense.
To those who are living. let It
be said, "Help those who merely
exist. -
Make the existence less miser-
able, less painful. Do something
to show to your fellow man that
the milk of human kindness has
not entirely dried up.
Help these who need and ask
IAelp You need help on occa-
|sions-not necessarily the price OF
a cheap meal-and you have had
it. which may account for the fact
that you are the rather thought.
less possessor Of clothes to wear
lon your back, shoes to put on
your feet, roo, over your head
and stomach, which does not ache
because Of emptiness.
It is a good gospel, this OF Civ
ling.
It should be praticed more ex-
tensiyely.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1910-11-26
"OuIT OR FIGHT" FOSS
TELLS LODGE.

Boston. Nov. 20.-Gov. Elect Eu-
gene N. Foss issued a statement
tonight. in which he demanded
that Senator Henry Cabot Lodge
withdraw from the field for re
election. In the event OF re,
fusal, Mr.. Foss declared he would
60 into every section Of the Com
monwealth in a campaign to de-
feat the Senator.
Mr.. Foss' statement, IN part,
follows: .
"In the name of the majority OF
the sovereign people OF the Com
monwealth of Massachusetts. l de-
mand that Henry Cabot Lodge sur,
render his seat in the United
States Senate by withdrawing
from his contest for reelection.
"His election to the Senate
would be a reputation OF the
great victory Of the people at the
last election. He was on trial as
much if not more. than Gov.
Draper and if he had been the
candidate my majority would have
|been double what it was.
"The issues OF which the tlgh'
was made. on which | was elect
ed were honest tariff revision
downward flower duties on the
Inecessar;es of life, free raw ma
tprials. and untaxed food supply
reciprocity with Canada and more
democracy in our form OF gov
eminent.
eve all know where Senator
lodge stands on these issues anf
where he has stood all these years
To re-elect him would be a stel
backward, and Massachusetts, ha'
never learned to walk backward
sT shall never sign his credentials
lexcept at the end Of a campaign
which will make the last one lool
like an afternoon tea party.
"He must surrender or fight
lie must defend his position befor'
the people. The people OF Mass
lacbusetts viii not permit HIN
longer to manipulate the Legisls'
|ture. I am ready and if he doe
mot retire. / will be on the stunt
lin every section Of the State ant
we will find out where the PEG
|ple stand. Senator Lodge is no
lin touch with the new order o
Things with the proper spirit o
1.-The times. He does not represen
1.-The people, the men and women Il
Tho ordinary walks of life. -
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1910-11-26
STOPS A STEAMER.

Few maritime experiences nave
been recorded stranger than that
which befell the Fiona, a twin
screw steamer belonging 30 the
Colonial Sugar Refining Company
of Sydney New South Wales says
the December Wide World Mag.
azine. When the Fiona was OF
Bird Island, about forty miles
north of Sydney Heads, on her
way from the Clarence River to
Sydney. a little after ] p. M: all
hands were alarmed by sudden
shock. as though the steamer had
struck a solid substance or wrek-
age. The result was strange ana
remarkable, for the port engine
was brought up "all standing;
The starboard engine was quickly
stopped and boat lowered ana
sent to investigate. On getting
under the steamers counter the
boats crew were astonished to
find that a huge sun-fish had be-
come securely fixed in the brack-
ct of the port propeller. One blade
was completely embedded in the
creatures flesh, thinning the
monster firmly against the stern
post Of the vessel, 1t was impos-
sible to extricate the fish at sea,
so the boat was hoisted on boar,
again and the steamer proceeded
on her passage to Sydney with
the starboard engine only work
ing. On reaching Port jackson
the Fiona was anchored in Mos
man Bay, where all hands were
set to work to remove the fish.
After much difficulty, and with
the aid of the steamer winch,
the sun-fish was hoisted clear and
swung on board. The Fiona then
proceeded to the Sugar Company s
wharf. The fish was put on the
comHany's wdgh-bridge, and
found to weigh two tons four hun
dredweights. The measurements
were: Length, ten feet; across
the body. six feet; across the
body and fins. fourteen feet;
mouth. eight inches wide; dorsal
fin, four feet high and two feet six
inches across; anal fin. three feet
six inches; and the caudal or tail
Fin, twenty-five and a ha@f inches
Tonga short, fr.nge-like stump.
The jaws were comparatively
very feeble, but well adapted for
masticating its food, which prime
ipally consists of minute pelaglc
matter, crustacea, and small fish.
The skin in color was shagreen,
and the texture that Of the ele-
plant. The naturalist to the
Board of Fisheries Of New South
Wales. Mr.. David G. Stead, who
closely examined ahis specimen,
stated that it was perhaps the
largest ever killed and certainly
much larger than anything hlth-
erto recorded or known OF nj
Australian waters.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1910-11-26

The very grave seemed no yawn
before Robert Madsen, OF West
Burlington, Iowa, when, after
seven weeks in the hospital, four
Of the best physicians gave him
up. Then was shown the marvel
GUS curative power Of Electric
Bitters. For, after eight months
of frightful suffering from liver
trouble and yellow jaundice, get
ting no help from other remedies
Or doctors, five bottles of this
matchless medicine completely
cured him. Its positively guar
anteed or Stomach, Liver or Kid
ney troubles and never disap-
points Only Soc at all druggists.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1910-11-26
MORE ABOUT JURIEs.

It is hoped that the gfowlns
continent in this country Tor a
thorough overhauling of'om Jurls-
prudence especially that relating
TO criminal procedure and meth
ODDS, will not cease until justice IS
cleansed Of the stagnating lnflh-
ences that beset it and good sense
and honest intentions gain SUI
nremacv. While the Supreme
Court has decided that IN murder
trials no exception can be taken
when the Jurors are separated or
read newspapers, there is now IN
nroeress in New York City jury
trial that exemplifies the archaic
rules Of practice that stli obtain
Il appears that man, driving an
automobile ran into a buggy. ana
the accident resulted in the death
Of woman who was riding IN the
borse-drawn vehicle. The owner
Of the automobile is being tired TOR
manslauehter, and it has appear
Cd desirable that the Jurors ID
shown the wrecks Of the automo
bile and the buggy in order to hep
them determine the extent OF
blame resting on the prisoner;
The point is this. That instead
of taking the jury over to the
garage where the wrecks were I'D
charge of. the police, the pdge
decided that it would be neces
sarv to bring the wrecks INTO
court. SO part of the doorwa!
was cut away, temporary tracks
were laid. and with the help OF ex-
tensive tackle and many men, the
injured automobile and THE re-
mains Of the buggy We're actuall!
brought into court and set up be
fore the eyes of the jury. Here
is fine example of technical
ity that is quite as absurd as 1t IS
unnecessary. in ten minutes IN:
Jury could have gone out ana
made the examinations tquAred'
and the trial could have proceed
ed There would have been no
additional expense and no actual
interruption in the trial. Justice
would have been indicated anc
all those concerned in the case
would have had a square deal
The idea that jurors should be
cooped in a court room and herd
ed sheriffs and deputies as though
they themselves were CRIMINALS
is wrong. There should be quick
and business-like proceedings ID
criminal trials and if it is found
impracticable to bring all the evl,
dence into court there is no good
reason why jury should not be
taken out and shown whatever II
is necessary for it to see in order
to arrive at a just verdict. Sueh
instances as this automobile trial
serve to impress the public that
modern court procedure is utterly
observation-disclosures City journal
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1910-11-26

"If my friends hadn't blund-
cred in thinking l was q doomed
victim of consumption, l might
not be alive now" writes D. I.
Sanders, Of Harrodsburg, KY,
|bue for years they saw every at
tempt to cure a lung-racklng
cough tall, At last I tried DR..
KinR's New Discovery. The ef-
feet was wonderful. It soon
stopped the cough aad ] am now
in better health than I have had
for years This wonderful life
saver is an unrivaled remedy for
coughs; colds, lagrippe, asthma,
Group, henorrhages, whooplng
cough or weak lungs soc, $1.0O
Trfel bottle free. Guaranteed by
All druggists.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1910-11-26

Were George Washington to
suddenly be restored to life and
be dropped down in any br
American community, he might
have a great deal of difficulty in
carrying on an ordinary CONVEX
sation and it would certainly re-
quire long hours Of study to bring
himself to an understanding of
what is now the merest commen-
places. Until the matter could be
explained to him, he would not
know what was meant by the word
telephone. and automobile would
be all Sanscrit to the father of his
country. Drawing on only those
everyday conveniences that no
longer attract passing attention
Gen. George would shave to be
shown" before he could under
stand photograph street car, aer-
oplane, airship, ocean liner, Pull
man car. motor, incandescent light
skyscraper, asphalt paving, cotton
gin sewing machine, trunk line,
searchlight, armored cruiser,
founta n pen, repeating arms. rad
ium. X-ray, appendicitis, postage
stamp, telegraph, suffragette, ex-
press. San Francisco, Nlonldike,
breakfast food and al thousand
other terms that have been de-
veroped to meet the needs OF our
modern inventions. He !. would
probably prefer to return to etern-
al rest than to try to catch up
with the modern stride. And
George Washington did not live so
long ago at that.-Columbus Dis
match
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1910-11-26
ADvxRTISuNG TALKS.

Duke q Bowers Us a grocer
down in Memphis. Term. He Ope-
rates thirtyAwd retail grocery
stores in the town; sells for cash
only and does not make any de-
liveries.
His stores are not big, but they
are conveniently located. Each
store is run by one man, who is
both manager and clerk. 1t is
said that he pays to the manager
of each store SIS month and at
the end Of each year divides equal.
" with his managers the net
profits of their respective stores.
Over every store is this sign !:
Bowers Temple Of Economy
then follows the number Of the
store.
The population of Memphis
would indicate that there are
about thirty-two thousand families
in the town. Mr.. Bowers. there
fore, has a grocery store for every
one thousand families.
Who would think that it would
pay to have thirty-two stores in
a community where there are only
30 1000 families!
Yet it does pay and it pays well
and the reason is that Mr.. Bowers
advertises in his home newspap-
ers. He uses full page and half
page advertisements to tell the
public what he has on sale in his
stores.
With reliable groceries and pro-
visions in each store-with steady.
persistent newspaper advertising.
TO tell the people of Memphis that
he has reliable groceries and pro-
visions. is it any wonder that Mr..
Bowers is SUCCESSFUL
Is there not lesson here for
the merchant in every community
who thinks that his store is too
email or to isolately located to ad-
vertisc profitabvi
In big cities and in small ci';o
there ahe q number of reliable
small stores that do not advertise
nobody knows
Their business should be adver-
tised in the home newspaper.
II can be done profitably pro-
vided the advertising runs reg
ularly tells the truth and is backed
mp bp the right kind of merchan-
dise.-W. G. Freeman in Atlant:
Constitution.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1910-11-26

"A downtown New York church
was recently sold and the proceeds
upon some of the missionary work
therefrom devoted to foreign mis-
sions. 1t is a sad commentary
as conducted that the excuse for
selling the old edifice was tina:
it had become so surrounded by
foreigners that its usefulness for
its original purpose was gone.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1910-11-26
FIRST AID TO THE INJURED
EYE.

Foreign bodies in the eyes.
These usually consist of cinders.
sand. dust. small insects, and
sometimes small particles of steel
or emery. First Aid treatment
never rub the eye. If this is done
the delicate membrane of the eye
may be scratched and severe in
flammation result. Allow the
tears to accumulate in the eyes.
This frequently washes out the
foreign body. Sometimes blowing
the nose will be sufficient to start
the particle loose. If the foreign
body is on the lower lid, pull lid
down and have the patient roll the
eye up. In this way the foreign
body can be easily seen and read
lily removed by the corner OF a
handkerchief. camed's hair brush
or small spud made by wrapping
small piece of absorbent cotton
! around the end of a match or
toothpick. If the foreign body is
under the upper eyelid, grasp the
lid between the thumb and index
finger Of the left hand, place a
match. tooth-pick or lead pencil
over the middle of the upper q
lid and turn the eyelid over. This
exposes the inside Of the upper lid
and the foreign body can be easily
brushed off. When pieces of steel
or emery becomes embedded in the
eye-ball. never attempt to remove
them by a needle or knife. as is
sometimes done by unskilled peo-
Pile. Such a procedure might in
! jure the eye badly, so that the
sight might be lost. Such eases
should always be attended to by
|sklllsul !eye@specialist H. II.
Hartung, NJ. D., in the Natinoal
Mapaz;ne for December,
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1910-11-26
Notice of Homologation.
SUCCESSION OF ALENAN-
DRINE GOUJON. WI
DOW OF FELIX
DECOURT.

DECOURI.
10Th Judicial District Court, State
of Louisiana. Parish OF Iberia.
Whereas, Pierre Jubin, a resi-
dent of the Parish Of Iberia, Test
amentary Executor Of the above
entitled and numbered succession,
has filed in this Honorable Court,
his final account as Testamen-
tarv Executor of said estate, to-
gether with his petition praying
that the same be homOlogated and
approved.
Notice is therefore hereby Civ
en- to all whom ut doth or may
concern ito show cause, il any
they have, within ten days from
the first publication hereof; why
the prayer Of petitioner should moi
be granted,
Witness the Hon. James Simon,
Judge of our said Court this 18th
dav of November, 1910.
A. J. MAUMUS.
DIV elk of Court, Iberia Parish
Hacker & Muller. Attys.