The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1910-07-20


should die on the funeral pyre of h,
husband.
| may be weaker than some wome
or | may be stronger. Possibly ma
have less depth of feeling. though the
| will not admit | saw only in nursin
my grief dreadful life before me.
recognized the principle that no twA
absorbing ideas can occupy the braiA
at one time. | did all that | could
interest myself in what was about me
True, l did not at first succeed. AM
when / did only partially so. l dread
ed the word forget, and yet realizet
that to avoid suffering I must tempo
rarily forget. I forced myself to fee
that after time I would be reunited
with my loved ones and that mean
while l must, except occasionally, put
them out of my mind.
/ made my home abroad. Three
years after my bereavement | married
again. did SO partly because / was
lonely, partly because wished for a
man to rely upon, as is natural to any
woman, partly because the man l mar
en- interest in life and lastly because L
became attached to him. He was an
American, like myself, and, being
wealthy, gave himself up to study.
He lived abroad that he might write
books which required his presence
among the subjects of which he wrote
For five years after our marriage We
CNr7ys ~,
ing this period children were born to
us. There was a tacit mutual agree
ment between us that ! should not talk
about the world in which | had lived
saw that he would rather leave that
! to me, considering himself as having no
! part in it, and | had no desire to make
him a part of it. He was absorbed
in his literary work, and if l ever told
him even where had lived he soon
forgot it.
! Then he was called to America on
the matter of some property that need
! ed his attention. 1t was agreed be-
| tween us that he should leave me and
our children in Lucerne, where we
were then living. He expected to be
absent not more than two months, but
soon after his arrival in America he
was induced to write for a publisher
a work necessitating his presence in
America. He suggested my coming
home with the children, but left me
| to consult my own feelings in the
matter.
/ had never intended to return to the
United States, dreading lest it would
reawaken me to my lost world. But
4 with a husband and children that
/ world had receded further and further
from me till the consciousness of it
had grown very dim. wrote my hus-
band that / would go back to the
western hemisphere and remain there.
was tired of moving about from one
place to another and the children were
coming to that age when they should
i have steady instruction at school. Our
boys / preferred to bring up in Amer
lea. l therefore suggested to my hus-
band that he buy place in which we
might settle. He replied that he agreed
with me and would carry out my sug-
gestions. Later he wrote me that he
had bought place in the suburbs Of
the city wherein it would be necessary
for him to do his work.
We arrived after dark. l was de-
lighted at our reunion, as were the
father and the children. did not ask
where our home was to be. I intend
ed to be satisfied with it, pleased with
1t, wherever it was. We took train
and in less than an hour alighted at
a station, where carriage was waiting
for us. 1t was very dark when we
reached our home and saw nothing
of it till stood in the hall. Then
caught at a banister to prevent my
falling
I was in the house / had left more
than ten years before with blighted
heart.
my dearr' exclaimed my husband
starting toward me.
But in a twinkling had recovered
! myself And what had enabled me to
do so? The sudden appearance Of an
object. All, those objects that come to
us! How much more valuable often
times than realization! / must at least
for the present spare my good man
| the inexpressible pain Of knowing
what he had brought upon me.
Nothing" / replied. "a little giddi
ness at having been so long rolling al
: sea-"
! Nothing you don't like, is there?
he asked anxiously.
son the contrary, am very vel
I pleased Let us see the rest Of it,"
) He took me into every room in the
house, a house that had been sold
, twice since l had parted with 1t and
| both times with the furniture includ
ed. Not for the world would ] have
betrayed that these rooms, closets, cor
i ners, with every bed, table, bureau
!. had been familiar to me from child
t hood. But when it was over passed
! the night alone in room opening int