Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1910-01-28
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his names Herring.
Il am looking for husband" "How
would dor" But you are married p
All husbands are."-Houston Post.
First Newporter-was 1t an inform.
al dinner? Second Newporter-Very.
The flowers only cost $2.5O0.-Puck.
Since Maud's engagement how
bright and happy she looks" "Yes;
match lights up girls face"-Life
Mature plans we'll for mankind's 3
needs" II should say 30. What could
be more convenient than ears to hook
spectacles overf"
Old Lady Tin a shoe shop)-Have
you fet slippersi Small Boy Assist
ant (solemnly)-Yes. ma'am; many a
Cuts.
Was It your wife who called you up
this morning?" NO; that was aunt.
It was my wife who called me down"
Baltimore American.
Solemn Man-Do you hear the clock
slowly tickingf Don't you know what
day Il is ever bringing nearer7 Cheer
ful Man-Yes, payday.
Professor-rve come to see your col
lection Of curios. Merchant-Pardon,
1T introduce, first Of all, my wife and
Observation-Disclosures Blaetter.
Opportunity calls just as often as
In years gone BY" But with us, all
huddied up in fats, opportunity Is
liable to whistle up the wrong tube"
Minister-And the child's name,
madam? Mother (firmly)-Name him
Frederick Robert Cook Peary Smith.
I'm not going to take any chances
Puck.
Barber TO customer, whom he's cut
up)-Would You mind going out the
back wayf So many people might see
you In the main neutrality-suspicious.
Blatter.
Suitor (on bended knee)-See, In
me, my love. your most humble and
devoted servant. Shelf this is your
arst place, I'll engage you for life
Lustige Blatter.
Arctic Explorer-During our whole
two years in the polar region we
couldn't wash ourselves once. Enfant
Terrible-Mamma, can't we move
there?-Lustige Welt.
viii that young man ever go
homer" demanded the irritated head
OF the house. II guess 30, father" re-
piled the mater familias. "He always
has. Washington Herald.
Professors Wife Ito cook)-My hus-
band has received call to Heidelberg.
VIII you 80 with us? Cook-I feel
highly honored, madam, but cannot
accept the call.-Lustige Welt.
Poet-When I finished that poem I
was completely exhausted. Editor
I can sympathize with you. old man.
I was In the same condition when I
reading it.-Philadelphia Rec
ord.
He (nervously) y)-Er-er-M Margaret
something has been
trembling on my lips for the last two
months. She-Yes. 30 I see. Why
don't YOU shave It off?-Prnceton
Tiger
You women never keep posted on
events" why. yes we do.
I've been reading all about the finding
,f the pole. But John7" well,
whatr How did the pole happen to
20 lost?'-Public Ledger.
Say, Casey, It's barred wurrker ye
ire. How many hods NV mortar hev
ve carried up that ladder to-day?"
man. I'm fooling the |
BOSS. I've carried the same hod up
md down all day. and he thinks I'm
yurkin."
Senior Partner-Keep a sharp eye
IN Holdfast. I'm afraid he's robhng
he firm. Junior Partner-Eh? Is he
living extravagantly? Senior Partner
Well, passed him in the street yes
erday, and he was smoking a cigar
hat didn't smell at all bad.-TitBits.
II must warn you. dearest" he said,
that after we are married you will
cry likely find me inclined to be ar
itrary and dictatorial in my man.
err" mo matter" she replied, cheer.
ully. Il won't pay the slightest at
sntion to what you say."-Presbyts-
Ian Standard.
Has that feller Pinkley returned
ome yetT Nope. He's been gone
wo years now, and nobody knows a
lessed thing about hdm." well,
erned II I shouldn't think you'd be
fraid he'd come home some day and
adm he found the South Pole."-
leveland Plain Dealer. II
How is this?" asks the brutal hus- I
Ind. looking over his wife's accounts.
Here's a bill for $40 for two switch. q