University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1910-03-01
PARAGRAPHERS ARE
A SAD LOT, HE SAYS

February 81
II has taken NE a good while to
reach the subject of Editorial Para
graphing" assigned TO me by MI
Harger. Really, there isn't mucH TO
say about the paragraphers. except
that they are a sad lot as behooves
their melancholy vocation. 1t has
long been the practice around news
paper shops TO pick out the most
sullen member OF the staff and put
him in charge of the Quip department.
For strange as il may seem the office
comedians, those whose mirth IS
bOundless and whose Wit efferveSces
like a bottle OF laughing water. are
seldom able TO write il. So they call
upon Mr. Mulligrubs. who never said
anything worth repeating. and behold
the output OF staple and fancy humor
-qurkS and jibes in season. II is
serious business TO grind out 81 or
~ paragraphs a day. some OF which
are supposed to be good.
Writing paragraphs gets TO be
habit. Your paragrapher thinks in
paragraphs. even as experienced tele-
graph editors think in jerky headlines.
Indeed. | believe writing headlines is
the best training a paragrapher could
have. Both are required TO arrive at
the essence OF story in single
swoop and tell it in a few words.
You will find that this habit has its
drawbacks. a man who instinctively
does his thinking in paragraphs thinks
dsconnectedly. His capacity to think.
in a straight line suffers from disuse.
When he is called upon to write some
thing OF some length he is at dis
advantage, and the piece is likely to
be disjonted even as this address is
dsjointed.
Writing paragraphs is far from be-
ing an ideal job, yet a young news
paper man, if he is disposed to special
ize in some branch of the work, might
do worse than cultivate his gifts in
this DIRECTION. You will encounter
days when Your intellectual faculties
balk like gasoline engine, and still
you are expected to turn out Your
mirth-provoking quota. At such times
YOU may wish you had gone in for
business career. realizing that by now
you might be prominently identified
with the delivery department of one
OF our foremost steam laundries.
Nevertheless. the paragrapher has
a little niche all OF his own. Others
on the paper receive greater rewards
and greater recognition. but they also
have greater sponsiblities to fill
their days with vexation and keep
them awake nights. The paragrapher
IS out of the everlasting rough-and-
tumble scrimmage of the news depart
ment. AS long as his work is salts
factory he is usually free to write what
he pleases. and is subjected to fewer
annOyances than any man on the
paper. He is haunted by no fears Of a
promotion
Speaking generally. there are two
kinds Of paragraphs. You may inter-
rupt to suggest that there are three
kinds-good, bad and indifferent-bur
that isn't what mean. The two kinds
to which | refer are those wholly friv-
olous. having no other purpose than
to force a reluctant smile. and the
more serious editorial paragraph. AS
TO the usefulness of the editorial para
graph, there can be no doubt There
is no excuse for poor editorial para
graph. but every justification in the
world for good one. If a column edi-
torlal or sermon can be squeezed
into less than fifty words. if a lesson
can be taught or moral conveved in
half dozen lines. that's the way it
ought to be said. There remain a few
old fashioned publishers who believe
an tdltoI uulS Is 10 De SOlSHln, ana
his next duty to be as dry as possible.
They picture themselves as Thunder
ers, and like to imagine that their edi-
tOrial voice is as the roar of many
waters. They fail to take into account
that in these busy days not one person
in several dozen reads column edi-
torIa!, unless it is double loaded on the
first page. or for some other eycen-
t'pnal reason. An editorial paragraph.
on the other Land, can be read and
understood at glanc@ If it i good
paragraph, and conveys something tie
p"Ier . she'd 10 Laya conveyed it has
accomplished something. It ha, meme
trat"d whore a column ii stern logic
0o',!d not "Lter. It ma demon stra.nd
ha'a ra9iar j. q n.ora hand; weapon
than L p.! driver.
\ few nights ago group OF re-
porter5 We're discussing newspapers
and things. including finance. when lie
name OF Mr.. Rockefeller was men.
One Of the reporters said;
Doubtless old John d. enjoys the pos
session of