davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-24
HYHAWKER JOTS

One can't always tell. Mcpherson
has Swede whose front name is Pat
rick.
There is not enough politics to stop
the tight over the waterworks in Sa-
lima.
Jury Cases Wed" is a headline in
the Manhattan Nationalist. Figure it
| out for yourself.
If a man can be fooled the same way
three times he is a fool indeed, says
the Blue Mound Sun.
Ralph Faxon has lined up with those
who are opposed to giving John Brown
a place in the hall of fame.
Gas is so cheap at Gas City that
young people are getting married by
moonlight to give the affair more
"eclau."
Garden City wants a new bridge.
The city commissioners of Topeka have
one that probably they would be will
ing to part with.
An epidemic of sore necks is re-
ported as prevailing in the Neosho
river country Perhaps it is a case of
too much rubber.
Another candidate for the Hall of
Fame is proposed by the Leavenworth
Times. 1t is the woman who canned
500 quarts of peaches this year.
Fort Scott girls. says the Tribune,
don't intend to take any notice of the
that hObble skirts are just the thing.
Junction City and Manhattan are en-
gagged in a squabble over proposed
trolley line between the two cities. The
college town wants it and Junction
doesn't.
Down at Hutchinson a lecturer on
1.-THE Mistakes of Matrimony'' has been
secured for a meeting of the Woman s
Missionary society. Is the society
thinking of extending its sphere Of &C
ton?
According to the Cherryvale Journal.
the talk of the town is water, water"
So universal is the talk of water that
strangers in the town never think that
anything but water to drink can be OBJ
tanned.
There was great excitement in Man
haitian among the club women recent
", says the Republic, because promi-
nent member had a dress that it was
thought came from Paris. Quiet was
restored when it developed that she
made it herself, at home.
The business of Santa Claus has re-
ceived a setback at K. U. The youths
who have received promises of brass
stems or hammered copper ash trays
will find the pretty co-eds unable TO
deliver the goods until after this SEM
ester Prof. F. E. Johnson, who has
charge of the foundry department OF
the engineering shops, says that the
students will have shop periods during
every hour the buildings are open.
Girls who had hoped to be able to make
a number of novelties of this kind for
their friends, will have to wait until
the second semester. Until that time
it will be impossible for a special shop
hour to be reserved for them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-24
DEMOCRATIC HOPES.

Having settled in their own minds
that they will elect a majority of the
members of the next national house of
representatives., the Democrats are
gazing GENEROUSLY toward the senate.
They reason that in view of the re-
suits of the Maine election. of the ap-
parent drift of sentiment in most of the
Northern States. and especially of the
disaffected or disorganized Republican
conditions that now exist in several
of the most important of these States,
there is by no means an assurance
that the Republicans will hold on to
enough legislatures to give them a
continuance on their senatorial want
age ground.
There are thirteen States which the
Democrats will need to carry in order
to gain majority in the Senate. and
if anything like the same proportion
of an overturn should take place in
them at the November elections as
swung Maine from her Republican
moorings and opened the way for a
Democratic successor to Eugene Hale,
1t would give the Democrats the num-
Der of senatorships that are required
for changing the political complexion
of the upper branch of the national
legislature.
The chances that disgust, disaffec-
ton or disorganization will either cut
down the Republican vote or increase
the Democratic vote to the point where
the Democrats may get the thirteen
Scholarships that would overturn that
body politically are not so hazy that
the Republicans can afford to sneeze
al them
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-24
REDUCTNG THE DEATH RATE.

While the efforts of those engaged
in trying to lessen the death rate by
accidents on railroads. in mines and
through other seemingly avoidabIe
causes do not show any marked degree
of success, it is gratifying to note that
the battle with disease is making head
way.
The death rate in the death reg
istration cities and states of the United
States dropped to 10 per thousand of
Professionally estimated population last
year, according to the forthcoming
United States Census Bureaus bulletin
on mortality statistics for 1909, which
has been submitted to Director Durand
by DR.. Greasy L. Wilbur, chief Stats
tician for vital statistics.
In 1908 the death rate in the Census
Bureaus registration area was 15.4 per
thousand and in the bureaus annual
report for that year, issued last spring,
it was stated that it is evident an era
of low mortality has begun.
The death rate for 1909 is, the bulle-
tin states, lower than that for any
previous year of registration and prob
ably is the lowest that ever occurred
in the history of the United States.
1t is stated that the mortality was
distributed with more than ordinary
uniformity throughout the year 1909
and no epidemics of other than very
local extent were found to have oc-
CURED.
1t is a fact of much Interest, the bull
letin states, as showing the general
prevalence in 1909 of extremely IA
vorable conditions for human life. that
the death rate of England and Wales
for that year was 14.5 per thousand,
which was also the lowest on record
for that country. while the rate of IA
for the city of London was even lower
and demonstrates the fallacy of the
belief that high death rates are neces-
sarily found in large cities.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-24
QUAKER MEDITATTONs.

LFrom the Philadelphia Record.I
Some men are too good to tell a lie
to save a friend.
An agnostic is simply a person who
doesn't believe what you believe.
The hardest thing in the world to
forgive is the success of our friends.
The things that seem to last longest
with us are the shortcomings of other
people.
Many a man is opposed to the thea
ter on religious grounds, because it
costs too much.
Poverty is no crime, because crime
can generally afford to retain a high
priced lawyer.
A little girls idea of matrimony is
to marry a man rich enough to have
ice cream at each meal
It doesn't take yachtsman to real
ize that it takes a tough sail to stand
the winds of adversely.
The only idea of ECONOMY that some
women seem to have is to make bread
pudding out of stale crusts.
Even the suffragette, who prides
herself upon being a new woman,
draws the line at wearing old clothes.
They say it takes nine tailors to
make a man. said the heavy dresser.
And even then you can't prove it,"
remarked the mere man.
You seldom hear of a woman who
thinks before she speaks said the
Wise Guy. Gee! Shed have to be a
lightning calculator to do that re-
marked the Simple Mug.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-24
Cost s17 to Spank Wife.


Andrew Miller could have hired an
automobile and had several hours of
joy riding yesterday for what it cost
him to spank his wife. The fact that
it did not cost Miller more than it did
was because he had only ST. Incl
dentally, the wife got the money. Mil
Ter paid it over by order of the court,
Magistrate House thereby esta blishing
a legal rate for spanking.
There are probably many wives
willing to permit their husbands to
spank themselves into bankruptcy or
the poorhouse at ST a spank; but the
rate is an elastic one, and the court,
having a monopoly with which the
interstate commerce commission can
not interfere, is likely to make the
price all the traffic will bear.
The Millers live at 408 East Sixty
fourth street. Mrs. Miller told the
magistrate yesterday that she had her
husbands supper all ready for him
and it was piping hot. The steak was
done just right, the French fried po-
tatoes were crisp and hot, the corn
was hot; in fact, the meal was about
what man would expect if he had
hired a chef instead of marrying a
girl who made no claims except that
she was a good-two handed cook.
AS the hour grew apace Miller fail
ed to put in an appearance. The steak
that was once juicy turned up at the
edges and warped in the middle and
grew as cold and unhappy in appear
ance as a baseball fan when the home
team loses a game.
Mrs. Miller waited long and patient
ly. and then went forth in search of
the man of her choice. She says she
found him talking politics. flying ma
chimes, and woman suffrage at a
neighboring gin MILL He came
home with her and then decided he
would eat. Mrs. Miller offered to
warm up the supper but Miller, she
says, reprimanded her for daring to
permit his meal to get cold.
IF you can't keep a meal warm for
a man, I'll warm YOU" he is reported
to have said and then to have laid
Mrs. Miller over his lap and applied
the spanking.
1t did not develop in court whether
Mr.. Miller used the fiat of his hand,
a rubber shoe, an old slipper, a razor
strop, or a single. These have all
been tried at times and given satisfac-
ton to the user.
heard the case and then decided to
fine Miller all he had in favor of the
wife.
How much money has he?" asked
the court.
Seventeen dollars" replied the
clerk
"Give 1t to the wife" said the court.
he would suspend sentence on him,
but that he was not to spank Mrs. Mil
Ter any more.
Now, don't you give him one cent
of that money" said the magistrate
to the wife.
"Car fare?" asked Miller.
"Give him elevated railroad tick
ets.'' said a court officer as he opened
the gate for the pair to pass out
New York American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-24
MUST SOMEBODY BE RoBBED2

Lincoln Steffens, writing about his
friend, Joseph Fels, in the October
American Magazine, says of him:
His wit has been sharpened by the
heckling he gets while campaigning in
England, but it is founded on humor
and his humor is founded on his sue
cess in making money; soap, too, but
principally money; very much money.
- 1t is so easy he laughs. You get
a monopoly. Then you get lot of
people to work for you, and you give
them as little as you please of all they
make. It's easy, as easy as stealing
In his speech at the Chicago City
club March II, 1910, he said it was
robbery. Addressing the Armours'
and other rich men he said:
We can't get rich under present
conditions without robbing somebody.
I've done it, you are doing it now
and 1 still am doing it. But I am
money to wipe out the system by
which I made it. And he invited all
men to match him dollar for dollar in
the fund he has established Ito the
extent Of his swag, as he put it), to
abolish poverty.
And he laughs; not maliciously,
but with amusement; and some Won
der.
Isn't it stranger he says They
don't see that. They don't think it is
robbery; they don't believe I mean
what I say. And yet, the fact that 1
have money gives me a certain auth
GRITTY, and so my statement has the
sensation of news. The truth 1 ut
ter is old, but it's news because a rich
man says it
And poking you in the ribs he puts
you in the crowd and laughs at you
For he knows that you also think a
| little more of what he says because
he is a rich man. He can see it"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-24
THE VALE OF GOAMN


A-weary drag the hours, an me hopes
a-wet with tears,
MavouTneen, roamin', an do you think
O. me
Whin soft the mist a-fallin' brings you
down remembered years
Upon the Wisp o. mornin' across the
moanin' sea?
For it's you that's far away,
But tits me that has 10 stay
Here alvin on the echo
O. your song O. yesterday.
Thin come to me in sorrow whin the dark
is fallin' STILL
Mavourneen, roamin. the nights are
calm. too.
The thrush has found his dearie in the
castle on the HILL
But cold me heart a-rOVin without the
heart O. you;
And the moors, so bleak and sere,
Whisper down the yesteryear;
- It's a-faint we are with Waitin
And a-longin for you, dear
Oh, say you'll come, Alanna, whin the
flowers go to sleep,
Mavourneen, roamin', and nestle on me
breast
An put your arms around me as the
ghosts o. shadows creep
From out the vale O. gloamin', where
day has gone to rest,
And Wen hold each other fast,
In the clingin, clingin' past,
Though the dawn must wake and
take you,
And the drame too sweet to last!
Gordon tombstone, in Smart Set.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-24
HUNOR or THE Day

What defense, asked the .grafter's
wife. did you make when you faced the
called the man who had brought the
charges a liar."-Chicago Record-Herald.
She has queer notions" "So?" Yes;
she actually refused to buy a hobble skirt
the other day because she was afraid she
wouldn't be comfortable in it."-Detroit
Free Press.
Admirars wife-of course. my dear. like
all seafaring men, my husband occasional
ly uses rather vehement language. REQ
tors wife-Yes, but you get used to it.
just as a clergyman's wife gets used to
doing without it.-Life.
My first wife married me to reform
wei, she succeeded in THAT, anyway"
Il should say-Ive been married twice
since.'-Cleveland Leader.
Did yez hear tn news. Jawn , 7 did
not" .ArizonZ an, New NE Mexi4 co. have
the walking diigate in that case?'-St
Louis Post-Dispatch.
Madge-She said put rouge on my face
to deceive people: Wasn't that mean?
1nn mt If on Doesn't deceive anYbod Nay
Ally Sloper's Haf-Holiday.
wfIlie-Have they got the fire under
control? Gillis-Almost. There were TWEEN
ty-five reporters and fifty newspaper pho
tographers there when I left.-Puck.
Kilby-I made enough money in stocks
last week to buy touring car Dane
You didn't DO IT, dld your Kfby (gloomily)
NO. but I wish had now.-Boston
Transcript.
Pessimist Jones-How is it, Smith. that
you look SO hale and happy and weII9
Optinist Snith-Every time sit down to
worry I fail asleep.-Wasp.
80 you live in the suburbs, too? How
90 you ger 70 tue city,. have an auto
InoDIeI 1oW 90 your go by surer
e.,W mar nat Is your opJeetlon to the prize
etsnnt I, % inucn pIlze ana not enough
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-24

More worldly people might have felt
themselves absolved from a promise
given in a fit of temper, but Corinne,
having given her word, would not go
back on it.
After little while Maurice said:
Il am going away. You must learn to
love some one else. Corinne. Your
oath pertains only to Hugo and to
get me-
NO she whispered, mo"
She chung to him in the gathering
darkness. but presently he said: Dear
heart. we must go. hear the roll of
thunder in the west"
AS they went down the path the play
of the lightning showed them the way.
The wind, coming up, first whispered,
then sang, then shouted, through the
pines.
I'VE must rum" Maurice told the
girl; there is the old shepherds hut
at the foot of the hill"
They gained the shelter as the rain
came. Maurice found bit of candle
and by the dim illumination each
could see the despairing face of the
other.
when I go away" Maurice said,
you will marry some one else-but
shall never forget
She came over and knelt beside him.
laying her head against his arm. ''I
shall never marry" she murmured.
"Oh, Maurice, I shall never
Her words ended in a shrek, as she
flung herself in his arms Save mei'
she begged. "Oh, Maurice
Half stunned by the glare and the
crash that had frightened her, Maui
rice rose and went to the window.
"Corinne," he cried sharply, as an
other flash lighted the hill, come here
and look!''
A third flash and again his exultant
voice rang out:
"It struck the pine tree. See, it has
fallen, Corinnei"
When the storm was over they
viewed the havoc of wind and storm.
Broken and burned, the pine tree lay
PROSTATE on the ground.
at is the will of God" Corinne said,
as her lover kissed her; He will not
let you leave me, Maurice, for you are
mine and I am yours. Copyright
ed 1910 by Associated Literary Press.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-24
No Longer Old at Forty.

There is no fact more striking than
the way modern life is pushing back
the period of old age. Less than a
century ago man was old at 40. You
have only to pick up Jane Austen's
novels to find gentlemen of S5 de-
scribed as middle-aged. At so they
were Cabling in their dotage. And
there is Mr.. Pickwick-that dear. de-
lightful, benevolent old gentleman
of As.
Fifty years ago when a man reached
the age of As he grew a beard under
his chin, bought himself a pair of drab
CATERS and a white neckcloth, and
spoke with anxious concern of the ris-
ing generation, whose manners were
so different from those he had known
as young man." In our generation
80 is outwardly indistin guishable from
50, save in that the former has a
slightly more youthful tint in its
cheeks and its waistcoat.
AS for the fair sex. the genus old lady
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-24
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
rFrom the Chicago New!

From the Chicago News
The false prophet has both eyes on
the profits.
One genius is about all the average
family can afford.
Some men try to save money by
not paying their debts.
If in search of a close friend select
one with q close mouth.
A woman is judged by the society
she's unable to get into.
An optimist believes in mascots: a
pessimist believes in hoodoos.
Praise and intoxicating liquor have
much the same effect on some people.
You couldn't broaden some mems
views by running a steam roller over
them
A careless philosopher says a man
never knows who his friends are until
he hasn't any.
If it had not been for his lantern
and the tub he lived in, probably
Diogenes would never have been heard
of.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-24
FRON OTHER PENS
sARToRIAL sNoBBERY.

That elusive individual to whom the
New York tailors owe a large debt of
gratitude-which may be more than
balanced by the amount he owes the
talors-has rendered the public anoth-
er profound statement. He says that
G. man who doesn't go out much" can
dress decently on $1,000 a year. Observe
the subtle malignfty of that qualifying
phrase. The man who goes out much,
the fellow who romps through routs
and dinners and teas and al fresco
twaddlefests, must pay the tailor-no
matter what he does for the piper
While the poor chappie who is ham
pered by measly $1,000 will cut his
pleasures carefully according to his
cloth, being so closely menaced by that
deadly line of decency.
Just how this distinction will be re-
garded by the possessor of two coat
hangers, with only one in active use
can easily be imagined. He will smila
at the ukase and snap his fingers at a
code of decency that Is based on 20
coats and countless trousers. Never
theless, if you are ambitious to be of
the patricians you must do as the
patricians do-provided your income
exceeds the paltry S5,000-and it will be
an exhibition of extremely bad form If
you regard this sartorial declaration of
the man who knows in any other save
the most serious light.-C1eveland Plain
Dealer
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-24
GLOBE SIGHTS.
IFrom the Atchison Globe.J

From the Atchison Globe.I
We learned years ago not to be i'm
pressed with Big Tales.
Being q professional musician in a
country town is an awful thing
An Atchison man is such a Sis that
he carries a powder rag in his purse.
We sometimes think no one is try
ing evry hard to please the real Sc
we're critics.
Nobody seems to admit anything
any more; the disposition now is to
make you prove II.
What has become of the old-fash-
toned man who said, 1T is my mis-
take and your treat!"
Boys believe that unless they spit
every time they see a caterpillar, they
will have typhoid fever.
Ever see two women meet at a
reception or millinery opening, and
engage in smiling match?
Some people are never satisfied I'M
less they are maintaining a nuisance,
and quarreling with the neighbors
about their rights"
A Texas may says the Globe is I'M
fair with Clifford Pinchot. We know
it; no newspaper can dislike man
and be fair with him.
In Missouri when a man has so
much money he doesn't work much,
people say, when asked what he does,
He plays with Jack knives"
We haven't much curiosity: we
don't care who leads the big league in
batting, nor do we care much whether
anyone has seen Kelly.
Formerly when boy misbehaved.
he dreaded what his mother, or his
Sunday school teacher, would say.
New he breads what Teddy will say.
This would be a wise world if the
average youth were as persistent in
acquiring the other fine points of an
education as he is in learning to like
tobacco.
It is only fair to the men to say
that there are more good husbands
in the world than there are husbands
who pay attention to chorus girls and
actresses.
No man ever invented anything as
intricate as the bung hole in a bar
rel without pausing to figure what he
would do with an income like Thomas
A. Edison's.
Every father helps his son at least
to the extent of boarding him several
years when he is not productive, and
sending him to school But not every
son helps his father.
An oId-fashioned argument against
woman's suffrage is that the woman
cannot qualify as soldiers in time of
war. But we notice the women con-
tfnue to kill a good many men.
The next time you quit work to act
on the committee for nothing, look
over your children's teeth. and see if
they do not need fixing more than the
public needs your services.
When you're being punished. don't
so around saying, 1T beats the devil
| what. luck I have" On the contrary.
! take the blame coming to you, and
say, TN bet I'll be wiser next time"
A pup has more vitality than any
| other living thing. A pup can begin
| bowling at nine o'clock in the even
| ing. as soon as the children are put to
| bed, and no longer able to play with
| it, and howl steadily until the children
begin playing with it again in the
| morning.
When a farmer comes to town with
/ three sticks in the upper pocket of
his coat on the left side, it means that
| he will buy three pairs of shoes for
| three members of his family; three
sticks to represent the length of their
| feet
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-24
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR,
IFrom the ,

IFrom the New York Press
Children are lovely things for some
one else to have
When a politician is on Easy street
he's usually a hard case.
How to be single, though married,
seems to be the modern aim.
There's only one thing the average
man enjoys better than achievement,
and that's talking about it.
Better a stalled OK. even with fat
ted calf in the background, than a
dinner of herbs and a vegetarian dis
position.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-24

is all but extinct. The pretty. viva
elous matron you admire at a garden
party may have seen 25 or 20 sum-
mers. AS Queen Alexandra not long
since said to Nine. Adelina Patti, 1--WE
are two of the youngest women in
England" The il1ustrious royal ex-
that the ladies-always young, always
active, always in the height of fashion
may be said to laugh in the very
face of Father Time.-Strand Maya
zine.