The Lamar register., 1910-06-08
AS 1T REALLY
HAPPENED

The broad shouldered firm tswed.
resonant voiced conductor flung open
the door of the parlor car of the fn-
nous express train and uttered the
word almost in tone Of command
Immediately all the passengers
lolling in the chairs proceeded to get
busy hunting up their tickets. so that
| when the conductor reached them they
had their pasteboards ready.
All but one.
This one was a rudy faced. well
groomed. hne looking elderly gentle
man with white side whiskers
He fumbled in his wallet for his
ticket. but It wasn't there. Then he
began a hurried search of his pockets.
Nothing doing. The ticket wasn't In
any of his pockets.
by ginger!" he was heard to NUT
ter. cit seems to me that I brought
those"
Then he stood up and made a sys-
tematic search Of his pockets. turning
over old dogs cared letters. formal
looking papers and heavy looking en-
velopes tied with red tape.
But he didn't ind what he was look
ing for.
Then he clawed his Gladstone bag
down from the rack above his head.
tugged at the lock and finally got II
open. He spent several minutes in
turning the contents Of the bag topsy-
turvy. perspiring all the time and NUT
tering quite petulantly a. he went
through the performance.
"Tfcketsi"
Tho broad shouidered. firm 1awed.
| resonant voiced conductor was tower
ing right over the well groomed elder
ly gentleman with the rudy face and
the white side whiskers.
-say-just a minute. will your" said
the elderly gentleman. not meekly at
all. to the surprise Of the other pas
senGers. II know that put those
pesky passes somewhere. but they've
got away from me for the moment
Just pass on to the next car. will you.
and in the meantime I'll see what in
tarnation has become Of them"
The conductor of course scowied.
n all conductors with n proper appre-
citation Of their position do In like cir
cumstances. But he went to the next
car and the elderly gentleman con-
tinued his fruitless search. He gave
It up after ten minutes and leaned
back in his chair. looking mad.
Presently the conductor returned
and bore down upon the elderly zen
tleman with q ponderous stride.
your ticket. sir. II you pleased"
said the conductor sharply. clicking the
punch ominously
II haven't got any ticket. blast III"
broke out the elderly gentleman. Lost
II. I reckon. But here's my card"
and the eLisrly gentleman handed the
conductor his pasteboard. which
showed that he was the FIRST vice
president Of the road.
The conductor
However. just . moment
Right here the rule. II followed.
would have the conductor remark
grouchily to the elderly gentleman
that. card or no card. vice-president or
something emitting him to q ride on
that line Of cars or stand for = toss
OF at the next station Then the
according to rule narration would 20
on to tell how the elderly gentleman
was filled with admiration over the
conductors strong sense Of duty and
how he dug up the price Of his fare
in good money and how. a little while
later. the conductor found himself ap-
pointed a division superintendent Of
the line. and SO on.
Nothing whatever Of that kind hap
pened. however.
"Oh. very we'll. SIR" said the con-
ductor. bowling and scraping profuseiy
As he turned the vice-president's card
over in his hand. Don't meation Il.
The pleasures mine. OF coa1se you
| probably dropped or mislaid the pass
somewhere But It's all right Are
you comfortable. sir! IL the porter
taking proper care Of your Fine day
for travelling. sir"
"Uh-huh." replied the flrst vice-presi-
dent Of the line. looking out Of the
window.
I'm DANCED glad didn't get chesty
| or new with that old gazoob before I
got next to who he was" murmured
the conductor to himself as he passed
nm nvafn tn the NEXT car