The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1910-07-03

Banner just as the peroxide beauties do
in a George Conan show. To save lne
youngsters figurattve Temptation OF
St. AnthOny'-with a large, fat ire
cracker as the temptation-the safe
and sane committees have arranged
gorgeous street parades Of patrlouc
floats. Like a circus parade, these
flag bedecked professions will prove
delccta BILE attractions for the youths.
If they can't shoot off firecrackers
they can yell to their hearts content,
for patriotic concerts will be held ana
the cOngre cations asked TO join i'm the
Choruses
but the greatest feature Of all in
these platform celebrations Will be
the windjammer with his feast of ora
tory and flow Of words He viii come
into his own aEain-with trimmin 5.
He never was entirely off the map, Tor
every third man in the land secretly
believes himself the goods when II
comes so handing out lot Of patriotic
verbiage. But now he'll be there with
rings on his fingers and bells on MS
toes. Even the small boy viii nave
fidget though they may, Tor there :
no other way for them TO celebrate
and he's got them and their fond
parents nailed to the mast until he
chooses to let up.
Have you ever seen this species OF
a twentieth century DemOsthenes, m
friend2 No. IL isn't the kind that
fishes for your vote from the tail gate
Of a wagon on election day IL
worse! This kind OF orator IS bugs
on the sub ect. descended straight from
Cicero and second Chauncey NJ De-
pew II he'd only had a chance TO open
up on the United States Senate.
He began first I'm the little red
school house on the hill with sparta
Gus to the GladiatCrs, and he's never
been able to forget that 'Ye-call-me-
chief attitude Of hauteur and defiance
Then he tackled 'Regulus to The
Romans. and went on down the list
90 .HH
burg Address All Of which things of
his youth he has retained and added
TO I'm his maturity. Today he steps
forth in an his glory He bows soberll
to the audience. assumes the stiff 'iirs
nosition' taught in schools Of oratory
/ clenches his left fist behind his bacl
I'm a Patrick Henry attitude. buries bis
right in the bosom Of his frocS coat
clears his throat a few times, cough.
and suddenly launches forth in vivid
sentences that have something TO of
with patriotism and glory but aren
even second cousins twice removed e
the Fourth OF July.
Then he stops and reaches for The
| Ice water. Youu always find it ther'
m friend. Honest, 7 don't believe ht
could speak without that little white
/ pitcher at his elbow. Then he wade'
l iu again. After 80 minutes Of choice
word pictures and 30 drinks OF ic'
water he's so exhausted that he ha,
to stop whether ne wants TO or not
He does. and the hall fairly rings with
applause. expressing the gratitude oI
the audience that the fee waters CfVer
QUIT He's safe. m friend. and we might
stretch a point and call him sane
only DO isn't quite safe for people sub
ject TO vertigo 90 listen TO him
"Suca king Of sane Fourths. however
Nev1da's celehra tion this year will b.
sane one. alright. alright, Ye-es
Just as peaceable and nifty little pro
gram as you please. There's husl'
and dusky person by the name OF =
Johnson who's mighty decided In hi
conviction that the American public q
taking an awful chance in toying wit
firecra ckers on the Fourth. For pure
~ phi1anthropic reasons. Of course. he
willing to be the goat In providing an
other form of entertainment for the da'
each person witnessing the musica