davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1910-02-18

inst as the appearance OF the almanac for the
new year anticipated with keen interest
Another Of these forerunners OF our present-day
comic valentines was published in London dur
ing the same period and bore the highly signih-
nant title. "Hymen's Revenge Against Old Maids.
Old Bachelors. and Impairment Coxcombs; or a
New Valentine Writer Being Collection OF Val
entines Humorous and Satrical. chiefly original.
written expressly for this work"
Some idea OF the caustic ammunition pro
Tided by these helpers of the composers OF yalen-
tines may be formed from the following speci-
men verse addressed ITO Lady Who Squints:
Thy charming peppers delight:
They Yield a most convenient sight;
Convenient do not deride
For you on either side
One OF the most novel features OF the begin
uings OF the comic valentine craze was the ap-
bearance OF tradespeople's valentine writer's con-
taining all sorts Of verse especially designed 10
apply to devotees OF the various vocations ana
lines OF mercantile trade Such reference Work
made a good-sized volume. for in order to be
complete II had to embody verses for every
imaginable trade and occupation. There were
some sentimental tributes included In each vol
ume Of this character. but for the most part the
contents consisted OF or less humorous
references
The system was certainly convenient one.
for not only were gibes and appeals provided.
but there was also appended favorable ana I'M
favorable replies for each such advance. so that
the recipient OF one OF the valentines thus de-
rived had only to consult the book In order TO
ascertain the proper reply. For instance. a gro
Ger could address his lady love as follows:
Your breath is ail-spice declare.
And you're and handy
That you're a sweet think. my fair.
As pums candy.
BE favorable. I implore.
These verses kindly weigh.
And ~ you will my heart restore.
III you
However. the lovelorn grocer was liable to
reply to this effect:
Your letter I've weighed.
Am truly afraid
MAN. pounds you're deficient In weight;
An Mr. Grocer.
ia have you know. Sir.
care fig for your treat
With the introduction OF manufactured val
entines the comics kept pace with the sentimen-
tal variety Among the earliest and most inter
estlng OF the humorous products OF the early val
entine manufacturers were transformation pic
lures. which conveyed hidden double mean
ing notable example the design which
presented at first glance the figure OF an attrac-
Norwich bulletin., 1910-05-28
A SHABBY OLD BOOK.

It was Sydney Smith who said there is mo furniture so charming as books and here in Connecticut we still re- gard the works of K Marvel as in the charEing class, so it is surprising to hear.L writer in Scribner's for June referrdng to the "Reveries of a Bach elor'' as "a shabby old book that he picked up for a song at stall where hone but the maimed of the book world find their way. It is a shabby old book, and it's two engravings have only stained the pages that they adorn But, as l turn the pages of lover a Wood Fire (the best of the Reveries IS it is the firsO-Smoke, signifying Doubt, and Blaze. signifying Cheer, and Ashes, signifying Desolation- they take on a new meaning for me, ana a double interest. The authors Sentimentality seems to me less ob- vious than before; his humor 1ess fa- cile and less reminiscent It is pleas ant to think that l am not the first to get pleasure of that cigar of his-A Cigar Three Times Lighted. Tramp ing through the woods, one comes up- on the dead ashes of campfire. Does not that make the woods more inter esting territory? Here I have a book that some one else has marked as suited his whim of the passing mo- ment-the passing moment of half a century agoi Something of the feI- lows temperament I know from the record of it that he made here. And the book-his copy of it-has had it's little history that it tells after it's own pretty fashion. I cannot do half so well; and something keeps me from transcribing. I feel guilty enough in trying even to retell it.''
 Tx Marvel's works have not wholly gone out of print yet, or out of mind; but this copy of "The Reveries" was gray and dog's-eared. like 8 school boys Virgil; the bravery of it's gild- ing tarnished, it was like an old gar ment which had been thrown aside, but which still gave evidence of it's worth. Ik MarveFs thoughts can never become stale any more than the thoughts of Emerson or Thoreau.
Norwich bulletin., 1910-05-28
Only Once a Year.

A proposed law in New York state provides for a board of inebriety which may send offenders to a farm or to q hospital. It appears that d man will be allowed to indulge in one spree a year without fear of the farm or the asylum. The law is less generous than was Avicenna, the learned Arabian physician who affirmed that monthly fntoxication was good for the human system inasnluch as it led to alleVia- tion of the spirits, the resolution of su- perfuities and the provocation of sweat. But AVerroes, a leech of great authority and of the same religious faith, combatted this opinion and, to use the phrase of Sir Thomas Browne, restrained his ebriey into hilarity; "a sober incalescence and regulated aestua6ion from wine; or what may be conceived between Joseph and his brethren when the text eXpresseth they were merry, or drank largely" A board of inebriety passing on individ- ual cases would have difficulty in de- ternining the precise degree of intox- ication that would warrant stern act ion; and so injustice might be done Tests, as the pronunciation of some word or phrase, or the walking of a crack. are not infallible. Should g man with a light and amia'ble jag or with 8 wise and harmless "stilf' suffer as though he were roaring and belli coSe? As Magistrate Barlow remark ed, the plan is not scientific.-Boston Herald.
Norwich bulletin., 1910-05-28
Educatina Royalty.

Divinity may or may not hedge a king. If we think it does, 1t does; if I've think it doesn't, it doesn't. The German people hold one opinion; Col onel Roosevelt a strenuous and az gressiye Ininerhy, holds another. Be- tween these divergent opinions the German emperor is having the time of his life.
 Europe lives an a hothouse atmo- sphere of convention. It is Colonel Rooseveit's office to sna sh a few panes and let in the fresh air. He has smashed a number at Berlin, as at other places, and the stifiiny grandees, so far from resenting it. rather relish 1t.
 To Ignore vain ceremonial, to brush aside empty fornss, to come down to the bedrock of essential fact and to appraise the value of the reality be- hind the trappings and the sf-ow-all this is a service that only an Ameri- can could perform for an old society. The German emperor is as little likely to suffer from this direct approach and clean -cut method as any other man in Europe-a fact which helps explain the friendship which has been struck mp within the past few days--ch4cago Record Herald.
Norwich bulletin., 1910-05-28
THE PRICE OF PEACE IS ExTRAv
 AGANCE

The launching of the Florida and the prospective equipment of the big gest battieship afloat, with others still larger designed, has disclosed the fact that American inactivity along the lines of defence has given it third place among the naval nations of the earth.
 It is now claimed that had four Dreadnoughfs a year been built as Roosevelt advised disarI ament would have now been g subject for diplomat ic negotiations, a desirable thing which a lack of foresight on our part has delayed. This looks great deal more like a bad dream to The Bulletin than it does Ike the truth
 Germany now has eight battleships building and the United States four. excluding in both cases the vessels authorized this spring. Include these and there are eleven German battle ships building and six American. Ger many has also three armored cruis- CTS building where the United States has none, though taking all armored cruisers built in the past twenty years, some of which are antiquated, the United States has fifteen and Ger many nine
 This gives Germany a decided ad- vaatags on the battle kne The senate has fortunately voted six torpedo boat destroyers where the house voted but four. Our navy Is deficient at this point It has but twenty five of this most necessary class. England has oufy one hundred and fifty and Ger many edghty-f1ve This is also true of torpedo boats where this country has but t4,tzky- England one hundred
Norwich bulletin., 1910-05-28

jeans ought to be the last people in the world to disesteem other acoun- tries for are we not already q composite people blending many national strains and therefore bound by many ties to the countries beyond the seas2
 In one particular at least the new patriotism can hardly be an improve ment on the old for in any age the patriot counts not his life dear unto himself. We cannot hope to outstrip those whom we mourn today in Yalof and self-sacrifice. We do well 1T we simply equal them, but here again our place of duty Is not under burnine southern skies or in connection With the abnormal activities of war The far more prosaic field of every day hte is where we must toll and sacrifice ih order that our dear land may still be free, united and righteous. Every com munity suffers because of a dearth Of citizens ready to give mp time, money leisure, opportunities for self-culture and professional rewards, in order to serve the state. Since last Memorial day we have had at least one shining instance of this type of patriotism. But not even the warmest friends of Gov Hughes would claim that he is the only one who is helping to keep alive in America this type of citizenship. If you are not doing it too, you can, II you will only try.
 THE PARSON.
Norwich bulletin., 1910-05-28
FAST CURES

There is no doubt that fast cures have been known to the world since days prior to the birth of Esculapius {; and it is a well established fact that gourmardism is a fault of the west ern rather than the eastern hemi- sphere. Since the popular revival of this method of routing disease in Norwich twenty years ago, it has spread over the whole world and to- day has many able and eminent ad- Vocates. The experience of Upton Sinclair, recently published, called down upon his head severe criticism and no end of ridicule, Now an Eng fish artist of Kent. Mir. Charles Spen- cer, comes to the front to say he suffered from an abnormal appetite; no meal seemed to satisfy him. At length he began a diIigent study of the theory of fasting as a cure; then he practiced it for forty-two days.
 In speaking of his experience, MT. Spencer says:
 You may take it from me that fasting for health will be generally adopted. WelI-known doctors whom I meet are taking it up. It is no new theory The Greeks and Egyptians 2.000 years back were keen advocates of fasting. I set out with the deter mined intention of making a thorough experiment
 'On the first day the pangs of hun ger were keen enough; so were they on the second day. On the third day there seemed a little relief, and from that day onwards experienced no hunger whatever
 T continued my work as an artist. doing some light gardening and walk ing as exercises At the end of the forty-second day hunger began to re- assert itself. That is the stage where many fasters' make a mistake They determine to fast for certain num- Der of days. and even if the craving for food returns after a certain period they continue to fast
 When I felt the hunger returnfng I immediately drank some fruit juice and continued to live on this for two days. On Thursday night I had my first square meal, It is a, grave error for anyone to fast who has not a thor ough scientific knowledge of the sub ject.
 This experiment of mine." he con cluded, ''is only the beginning of more on a wider scale. and my wife is to join me as weII'
 In New Zealand and Australia. this method has created a good deal of ex- citement, but it cannot be combatted out of existence simply because it is efficacious.
Norwich bulletin., 1910-05-28
FROM THE CLIFFS ABOVE CHAMPION.

hair that lay over his temples like snow upon an Alpine peak. Thunder, as he might, dread doctrines of dire damnation, well his hearers knew his to be one of the tenderest hearts in the world and that he himself would not conSign even a fly to the lurid tor ments he threatened us with on those midsummer Sundays, when the mer- cury rose to 90 degrees in the shade, and we children used to wonder how much hotter eternity could be. The preaching of today is different, and no one is sorry. But in a way it has lost. People cared about you then They were bound to save your soul, even if to accomplish it they had to burn you grown indifferent. Any one may go where it is hot or where it is cold, and nobody cares. When ones soul be comes of no account, ones bodily wei fare ceases to be of any account what ever. When a religious belief crurn- bles, the welfare of the body polite crumbIes with it. There is less pub lie spirit in our village than there used to be, less friendliness, less neighbor liness, far less of simple human inter est in one another less loving kind ness.
 Never, since the world began, have thefe been but two fundament ques- tions for men to solve. But these two religion, or mans relation to God, and politics or mans relations to man, are before the face of every genera tion, for each generation to do it's part toward solving. It matters little to me that they painted our old white meet ing house an earthly brown, except that it hurts me in the heart of that heart that beat in me when I was a child. On the other hand, it means much to me that they lowered the pulpit and broadened it's base. and have softened the thunders of Sinai to the still, small voice" of the Sermon on the Mount. Because I believe in broaden ing mems thoughts of God and His Christ, of life and life, of death and immortality, until no one will be afraid to speak, whether with the tongue of men or of angels" until mans rela- tion to the one and hence to the many will be our natural theme, our dearest possession, the cause and effect of all our endeavor.
 THE RECLUSE.
Norwich bulletin., 1910-05-28
(written for The Bu1letin)

It is a beautiful old town, brother mine. Coming back to 1t now, after years of absence, l find it really as beautiful as it used to seem to you and me when were were little. You remember how the village clusters about the Green. and how the green of the Green glowS like an emerald III its setting of earth-brown road. Back from the road, beyond the grassy on- sets and close-clipt lawns, stand the village houses-the very same houses we used to run in and out of-as yet unaltered, unmodernized, unspoiled Rocky hills enclose the Green, tall elms and broad-shouldered naples and sturdy beeches offer kindly shade. There is a hush over everything, as there always used to be, you remember, and it is still enough in busiest day to hear the hum of bees, and the chirp of young birds, and the buzzing of in sects in the soundful, soundless silence of the sunlit air. Near by, the river gurgles along between loW-lying meadows just as it did when we were boy and girl together, and the self same alders grow on it's banks. Drift ing down stream, as l did yesterday, In the same sort of f1at-bottomed boat we used to paddle about in, or threading my way in and out among tanSdlnS weeds and reeds and rushes along the waters edge, it would be easy to imagine our village a favored spot in which nothing ever changes, as marked off from an outer desert of toll ana turmoil like a green oasis, the world Changes there are, however. Coming back, as I say, after long years or absence. I note the samenesses and resemblancee, but the changes, too. As I sit here on the cliffs with my writing pad on my knee, I note a thousand would have said no change had ever been.
Norwich bulletin., 1910-05-28

and sixteen, and Germany eighty-two.
 There is a question as to the for mIdability of these great battleships which will never be settled until one great naval battle has been skiIfuIIy fought. but the chances are that these clumsy, heavy -armamented ships will be easy prey for the light -shotted and swifter fighting craft. If a ten-mil- hon- dollar naval vessel will do the greatest execution there is no defence for building slower eighteen million dollar craft
 These eighteen -miIlion-do argu- ments for disarmament. or for peace. are the present-day burdens of the greatest nations.
Norwich bulletin., 1910-05-28
A Satisfactory Experience.

The "endurance run" of the Auto- mobile club of Hartford in this state has given the roads of the state their spring experience, and they ought to be able to stand most any other strain that may be put upon them. The re- suits so far as the automobiles are concerned have been satisfactory, and the run has demonstrated some valua- ble facts as all such experiences al- ways do.-Bridgeport Standard.
Norwich bulletin., 1910-05-28

Mayor Gaynor's elucidation of "singed cat' in the course of his off ciaI correspondence adds to the con- tributions to public knowledge which have come from the city hall.-New York World.
Norwich bulletin., 1910-05-28
SURPRISED THE COUNTRY AGAIN

In his New York address upon What Constitutes a Good Speaker" :" Colonei Bryan has succeeded in once he doesn't realize, since he denied the tured the country by his forensic abiI- fly and his magnetic use of the cross of gold, crown of thorns" epi- gram from Bryan, which took the con- vent5on and impressed the nation that he was a coming man; and Colonel Bryan, after all his years of oratory and blaf, is not aware that his speech has been tho magnet which held the people and not his paramount issues The Kansas City Journal is correct when 1t says: 'H ever a man owed his political prominence to his tongue Colonel Bryan owed his. That speech particularly that empty phrase nominated him and made him a politi- cal idol Since then, by lightning changes that would have shamed a prestidigitator, the willy Nebra ska n has maintained his ascendancy in his party-except in the year when Judge Parker was northumberland invariably his success as a leader was due to his tongue, the sounding of brass and tinkiing of cymbals that has kept hope alive in the breasts of his followers MT. Bryan is essentially a taiker and nothing more. His New York state ment, that he had not won his three presidential nominations with his tongue, ts so patently untrue that it IS an amusing absurdity."
Norwich bulletin., 1910-05-28
Vacation Over.

After a much needed rest the Mica raguan war is about to resume busi- ness at the old stand.-Grand Rapids Press.
Norwich bulletin., 1910-05-28

do not know whether an empty compliment is one of the emptiest things in the world or not. I have noticed that compliments almost all ways need revision, and that it would be no easy matter to make gems of thought of them. Most of them are IS meaningless as the fire balloon that floats by at night. According to Bir- rell. the most magnificent compliment ever paid by man to woman was that of Richard Steele to Lady Elizabeth Hastings when he said: ITO love her was a liberal education" This may have been true, or it may not have been, but it was a tOpnotcheI- in ex- pression- It lives as the finest ex- ample Of this form of ha1tery-one in a thousand are not worth cherfsffng
 and not one in 100 900 are preserved in print. They are sweet little nothings as fluffy seafoam and as evanssceat
 but they are dropped here and there every day and someone feels better for them. They were newer fnade to ana lyze-tley are to take hks a-suxar pellet without asking any questions.
Norwich bulletin., 1910-05-28

The street sprink1ers are having more enforced idleness than they real ly enjoy.
Norwich bulletin., 1910-05-28
And He Won't TolI.

Nobody but the sroundhog knows what the groundhog thinks of the comet.-Houston Chronicle.
Norwich bulletin., 1910-05-28

A Cincinnati woman has issued cards announcing her. divorce. She cannot divorce herself from style.
Norwich bulletin., 1910-05-28

No city can be much better than it's city government and it's police force, no matter how many churches it may have.
Norwich bulletin., 1910-05-28

Happy thought for today: A dol lar that can get past a meat market is good dollar
Norwich bulletin., 1910-05-28

The Panama cut now represents a layout of s200, 0.OOO. Quite a costly ditch.
Norwich bulletin., 1910-05-28

Such thunders of eloquencs as used to reverberate from the old-time high pulpit as the minister of our child hood grew red in the face with the force of his appeal, unconsciously bringing out a splendidly vivid con trast between his rugged features, flushed with exertion. and the silver
Norwich bulletin., 1910-05-28

Good intentions may make paving for Hades, but they never would stand Norwich traffic.
Norwich bulletin., 1910-05-28

What is the use of claiming that kissing is in bad form? If the smack is right, it is all right.
Norwich bulletin., 1910-05-28

A New York woman struck a burg lar with 9 rolling pin and knocked him from a window to his death.
Norwich bulletin., 1910-05-28

The old meeting house stands where it has stood for a hundred years, but in these days they call it 8. church, and they have painted 1t brown You re- member that it used to be white, Spotless glistening white like the robes of saints, and had cool, green blinds through which the sunlight shimmered, and that it slept quietly through the six work-a-days and woke only at the sexton'S first pull of the bell at 10 o'clock of a Sunday morning. Just when the meeting house awoke to the duty of staying awake throughout the week, cannot tell. Possibly It was when it suddenly became a church and was given it's unaccustomed coat Of brown, the same summer that waves of brown paint swept over the village, almost submerging it. That was the summer after the new young minister was installed. The meeting house had never had young minister before, but only white-haired ones, grave and sol- eInn and eighty. They were eighty when they came, and each stayed hundred years, and they were eighty when they died. The new minister's wife was young and fashionable, and thought she understood color. She had toured in Europe, mounted to the dome of St. Peters, and walked with a guide through miles of picture galleries, studying her Murray. in the days when BaedelSer was not-yet. She had studied so much that she knew all there is to know. and she was so eager to impart knO Wiedge that the villagers could not choose but absorb it. She told them that white was not artistic" :" that it gIared a you, while the green of the blinds made too striking a con- traSt, and that houses ought to be painted in soft grays and browns and blendings, like the deeps of summer woods" She captured her audience, moving them, far more successfully than the young minister ever moved his congregation, to prove their faith by their works. Wave after wave of brown paint flooded the village A veneer of sad, weary, dreary brown stuck so fast to the old-tfme houses that no ghost of an early settler could have recognized his own familiar roof tree, nor his neighbor's- They began with the parsonage, long, ow-browed. happy. old house, which had been for generations white, yet unashamed. When 1t was finished, 1t giistened like a pancake The eircling roads that ting are often dusty. Indeed. there is rarely a day when CraInpton cannot raise a. cloud of dust to blind peoples eyes to their own shortcomings and veil the ghsten of any sort of veneer. Within a month or two the parsonage was dingy. not only in a snuffy, chOco- Nate, go- to- seed deadness of color, but dusty dingy as well. Already, though, they had attacked the meeting house, despoiled it of it's saints robe, and transformed it into tlhe senblance of church. The meeting. house had held a certain dignity of its own. an ul1pre- tentious stateHness of rigid simplicity in line and finish a Puritan plainnes ess and disdain of effect. Now. under the contracting influence of diEsy. dull, dead, dusty brown, the church shrinlSs and Weazens away into itself, looking a size smaller than the meeting house it was, and seeming unacquainted with itself, half -abashed, wholly sef-con- scious, painfully apolosetic.
Norwich bulletin., 1910-05-28

The picnicker is getting a little nervous A little more sunshine is necessary for his pleasure.