New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-05-29

II wish to say few words to the English
Nation"-
At this important point me & Nogi en-
ioyed kick-out from that Guildhal because
Of the tickets we didn't have.
Before this Hon. Roosevelt was also pri-
vate guest Of Royal Geography Society here
who have been anxiously changing the map
OF the World ever since.
After a few dull remarks from the lead
ing Scientists Of Europe, Hon. Roosevelt
leaped up to his footsteps and delivered
lecture entitled Inhabitants of Africa"
1t was partly this:
Even while studying geography in the
third grade primary school, I began TO sus-
pect that Africa was inhabited Something
IN my teachers expression as she dis
/ cussed that darby Continent told me that
1 was guessing the truth. How could find
out, please? I had no friends who had
been farther than Pittsburg. ! must go my
self. So. at my ninth year of age, / said
to myself in my secretive way, When ]
have been President of the L. S. for seven
or eight years, 1 shall retire away TO Africa
and look up them Inhabitants myself So
have went and have saw what 1 seen.
Gentlemen of the Geographic Glass. I
feel confidently satisfied that Africa is in
habit6d. because have seen them with my
nude eyes They are described as follow
ing:
q. The Inhabitants of Africa are anthra-
cite brunettes by complexion. When hunt
ing them at midnight look for the black
spots and you will find an African.
-. They are lazy taIkative and uncivil-
lied By nature they are Pullman porters.
"3. Some of them. in politics. are Repu0-
balls They worship idols and love cake
walks. After eating a missionary they roll
his bones TO see who pays for the drinks.
-. They are nearly as ignorant as the
English about American history. When
asked. Who whipped CORVALLIS at the Bat
tie OF Yorktown" they report Jack John
son" with race pride expression.
'5. The Zulus and Ashantis are proud,
warlike race. They would make good Gle
vator boys. II white folks wish to uplift
these black races they should ship more
elevators TO Africa.
&c. There are no chickens in Africa, so
the Inhabitants have never learned to steal.
~ The Question has been asked, How
can the Africans make themselves most use
ful TO America? Answer is: BY staying in
Africa"
After this lecture those Royal Geog-
raphers set around nervously asking .ques-
tons about Africa. TO be sure he had been
| there.
What did you fRd in Lake Victoria
Nyanza?" require one Geographer with
| I.ongfelIow expression.
Water" retort Hon T. clamly.
/ SO all retire home with literary eye
brows, like they expected TO print several
books.
As for yesterday p n. May so, title OF
o. G. L. was privately inferred upon Hon.
Roosevelt for his distinguished services in
advertising London. This title means of
fetal Guide TO London" and was never
gave to anybody since 1902, when it was
donated 10 Sir Walter Raleigh by Queen
Elizabeth FOR his talented navigation Of
mud pGddles
Yesterday this distinguished EXPIRES in
joyful ottonobIle entitled Seeing Lon
dor" personally conducted a party of high
up persons who had lived in London SO
long they had never had time TO notice il.
Among those in this wagon Duke of
Cofneught & Mrs. CoDnaught, Earl of
LoHgacre g. wife. Lord Roseberry and the
1t. Hon. VIM. Waldorf As1or the well
known politician. Hon. II. q Wells was
also there 10 represent the Common peo-
pie. He was disguised as a chauffeur and
done his work with intelligence.
First place visited was Tower Of Lon