Bridgeton pioneer., 1910-09-01


Smell of it
But if he made a mistake you can
telephone him.
A Loud Smelling Discovery.
Telephone nothing | saw him look
ing at my hat, and know be changed
OF purpose. | don't know where be
lives | never heard of him before
He called to see if was interested in
astronomy. By thunder, I'll put him
where he can't see stars or planets for
the next yearr"
II hope you get your hat back" said
Mrs. Bowser. but don't get too excit-
ed about it. Yours only cost $4. you
know"
-Four dollars! Four dollars! Why,
planked down $25 for that hatr'
But you told me S4 You said a
friend introduced you to the hat man.
and"-
IF said 81 | was absentminded
Twenty-Five big dollars. and that
greasy haired astronomer has got it,!
We'll. what are you going to do
about it?"
DO? Do? Why. I'll follow on his
trail for the next 100 years I'll never
let up till l have him in my clutches
I'll go to the police. I'll advertise a
reward for him. My twenty-five dol
lar hat
Which you told me was a bargain
for S4."
Mr.. Bowser rushed into the tele-
phone and called up police headquar-
ters and stated his case. After be had
spent ten minutes in giving details the
reply was:
VERY sorry. but we are not the
straw hat police. Inquire next door,"
Then he rushed out to the policeman
on the corner. The officer heard the
sad tale without being affected. On
the contrary. he calmly said:
Yes. life is full of just such harrow
ing things, but we must make the best
of them. rather like the smell OF
wintergreen myself"
A rush was made for home, and
with a wild hope in his heart. Mr.
Bowser said:
Look here. Mrs Bowser, l am not
going to threaten you"
MOP"
81 am going to coax you. You may
have slipped this old hat on to the
peg just for joke on me. If you did
l will take it as joke Ha. ha. ha.
1t would be quite little joke"
"Yes. but l didn't. This is the hat
you wore home and hung up"
Then I'll have the professors life.
I'll dabble my hands in his winter
green blood. I'll catch him by the
throat, and I'll twist his brazen head
off,
Hat Recovered, but His Lie Stands.
All the rest of the evening Mrs. Bow
ser tried to quiet and console him, but
with poor success Mr.. Bowser walked
the floor and abused the professor He
walked the floor and planned how to
overhaul him. He even went out to
the gate with his mind so full of the
event that he stopped the butchers
boy to relate particulars.
Its an awful case" replied the boy.
but know something awfuler Pork
goes up another cent tomorrerr'
Midnight had come. Bowser had
tossed and groaned and grunted and
fallen asleep Mrs. Bowser was about
to go to dreamland when there was
wild ring at the doorbell. Mr.. Bow
ser jumped out of bed and put his head
out of the window.
Does a man named Bowser live
here" asked man below.
"Yes. SIR"
'Is his name in bis straw hat?"
at is"
"Well. I've got your Internal old
headpiece here. and want my own
hat You took mine when we were
getting shaved in the barber shop
about o'clock. Nice old party, you
are!"
Are you Professor Swiggs?"
Professor nothing. And l don't go
round stealing hats eitherw
Mr.. Bowser went downstairs and
passed out the wintergreen hat and re-
ceived his own, and Mrs. Bowser had
nothing to say until he fell asleep
again. Then she softly whispered to
herself:
And he came home and said it cost