The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1910-04-03

serves to shake the popular conviction that service
IN the United States army promotes longevity. Up
to the time when Colonel Kniskern locked himself
up in cold storage we had believed that the army
was the safest place this side of heaven and we shall
not be treasured until we know that every colonel
IS equipped with rings on his fingers and bells on
his toes. There no particular conjunction
about letting civilian freeze death but officers
should be provided with the means to make noise
THE ARITHMETIC OF GRAFT
Talking about San Francisco, find this interest
ing sum in the arithmetic OF graft propounded in
extenuation OF things in Pittsburg:
The fact that about 90 councilmen of the past
and present administrations are involved in the
scandals thus far exposed indicates percentage
OF less than so per cent dishonesty. At the time
most OF the grating in progress the Pittsburg
councils temporarily abnormally large There
were ~ wards in Pittsburg and Is in Allegheny
with altogether 152 select and common counclrnen
Possibly the sack ran short. The stuff was spread
out pretty thin in spots, for one councilman sold
out for $3.50. | don't know whether IT is a cause
OF just pride that the price OF San Francisco super
visors ruled much higher by the last quotations
PEDIGREE OF A JOKE
Nobody loves fat man" We all chuckle with
Maclyn Arbuckle over that If jokes are entitled
have credit the father of this one met him one
day on the street and asked him "EIowdy?"
oh, WE'LL he said I've been good deal under
the weather"
ventured to say that he looked the picture Of
health.
No he unused mournfully, "a fat man gets no
sympathy"
VIII Barnes was witty his father but his
Wit did not carry the sting that usually barbed the
old mans shafts
WOODS ARE FULL OF "CoSSACKS"
Charles Howard Shinn, who used to be with the
Bulletin in the old half forgotten days of George K
Fitch, dropped in the other day He is leading the
simple life forestry official in the backwoods
OF MADEIRA. He told me something OF the tribula-
tons of forester who insists that the nomad tribes
infesting the mountains shall obey the rules From
time to time they get up petitions for his removal
and send them to Washington A roadside
saloon keeper gave free drink to every man that
passed his door condition that he would sign one
OF these documents The next time Shinn saw him
he told the saloonnan he would lend him tribe of
800 Indians to sign another petition
A NEW VARIETY OF POLICE
The fact is the government has invented one more
POAASS
repressionares, and the sort is no more popular
with the transgressors than their prototypes of a
primitive kind. The result is that the woods
are full of bad language which i'll advised editors
sometimes see fit to print with approval So find
in the Oregonian, printed with all the implied ap-
proval and emphasis of black faced type this eS-
cited description of the foresters:
These the Cossacks of the western set
tier and miner They lie around in their COM
Portable quarters during the months or
else travel the country and go school a
government expense, and during the summer
people, keeping them off the public domain
trying to take their hard earned homesteads
mining claims away from them
Scratch forester and you will find Cossack
No, this was not written by Richard Achilles Bal
linger. but would not disagree with him.
SOMETHING MISSING
The ingenious correspondent of the Stockton Mail
in this city sends this mystery story:
There is good deal of gossip in sporting
circles to why the Jeffries- Johnson fight is TO
be held across the bay Supervisor Johnny Her
get, formerly known in the prize ring as Young
Mitchell IS chairman OF the committee that SUPER
vises the prize lights and grants permits. The
trst idea. OF course was TO hold here But
the promoters chose Emeryville. where thew will
They wouldn't have done that If they hadn't
found II cheaper than to make arrangements in
San Francisco. The story Is -
which. OF course, may be wholly lbelous
No, this is not missing word contest