davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-09-08

london miser WIN q. ~ - =
quarter q . million Dollars.

london affser vhs a. w~sa =
Quarter % . s1iiIisn Dollars.
A mlser who had lived Tor PEARS In
squalor on 50 cents a week while BE-
was IN receipt Of 40 income Of 5000
a year and had. II Is believed. 9es0.000
worth OF property. has just foraaken
his solitary life and sought better shell.
ter In a Stafford hospital. a New York
Suns London correspondent says. His
name Il John Clarence Hudson he
vas found By the hospital oflciala
lying on a hedstead covered with a
dirty rag. with a stick BY his side 20
keep the rats from his food
lie told the officials that he could
live well on so cents a week. A cents
worth OF milk had to last him four
days and a loaf Of bread for a week
His meat allowance vas half a pound
week. and he bought half a pound
OF sugar every three months Yet he
admitted that he had 1880 OF rail.
way stock and house property. and Il
q stated that he received a legacy OF
$4,000 from bis parents
lie also declared that he had not
been bathed for twenty years. and Il
took two nurses two hours and a half
70 make up the arrears IN that respect.
But amid all the squaior OF his home
the officials found a touch Of a long.
lead romance
a table was laid IN one room for two
people 70 dine. Il tad always been
kept like that they we're Informed By
the woman who attended the miser
Hudson. who practiced years ago AZ
solicitor. Is said to have been crossed
In love.
Another feature Of the case was the
discovery Of a picture Of Spanish beg.
gar girls. which. Hudson declares. l.
a Murillo.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-09-08
EQUAL TO THE OCCASION.

while looking for pirates along the
Chinese coast. Admiral John Moresrg
encountered some strange adventures
and some that were ludlcrous- One Of
his experiences he describes IN Two
Admirals--
When visiting the mandarin Of Tien
Pash. he with his blue button. robes
and attendants. / with our paymaster,
gunner. and q guard OF ten marines
and a sergeant. tea was offered to US,
ana accepted as a matter Of course
Then. in an access OF politeness. the
attendant proceeded with the tea to the
guard. stiny drawn up In the court
yard. the men with rifles shouldered-
The sergeant looked round distract
edly for guidance; he had no precedent
for a tea party on duty The men
stared with cool contempt at the spoon
ful Of acid tea
Fearing lest a refusal might BE- an
aHront. hastily said. Sergeant, let
the men take It."
He looked at me for an instant with
a long, horrihed look Of remembrance;
then. stepping to the front as If drill
ing. he gave the word:
''Order armsl Ground armsi Take
the cupss Drink the teal"
Like Wordsworth's forty feeding
like one" they grasped the cups and
with a single gesture. emptied them
down their threats
Next came the stately commands:
Return the cupsl Take up arms
Shoulder armsir
It was done. The sergeant was him
self again: he felt he had been equal
TO the occasion. and / stifed my IN
seasonable laughter IN a cough and a
handkerchief.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-09-08

A plano tuner employed BY a city
firm was sent TO a certain suburb to
tune q piano. He found the instru-
mcnt In good condition and not In the
least need OF attention. A few days
later the Arm received a letter from
the owner Of the piano. lady OF
musical intention. saying that the plano
had not been properly tuned It was
no better than before. After receiving
a reprimand from his employer the
hapIess tuner made another trip TO the
suburbs and again tested every note.
only to md. as before. no fault With
the instrument This time he told the
lady 80.
Yes she said, 1T does seem all
right, doesn't It. when you play on II.
but as soon as I begin to sing Il gets
all out Of tune again.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-09-08
rHE LEaIsLATIvE JoKER.
Easy way IN which the Intent OF Z
r-x~ Nay BE Changed.

Easy Way In which the Intent OF
Law May Be Changed
"A Joker in its simplest form con
sIsts IN a word Of a clause which, IN
troduced into proposed legislation.
hIches away from the public its power
to establish such laws as It desires.
either by emasculating an enactment
or by perverting the essence and pur-
pose OF it, So writes Samuel Hop
kins Adams in American Magazine.
and be cites these instances OF how
tho Joker game IS worked:
Sometimes It IS IN one word. as
where the sale Of a piece Of public
property to the lowest bidder was once
authorized Sometimes It may inhere
in that elusive character. the comma.
as IN the case OF the tariff clause Of an
old schedule providing for the free en-
try OF fruit plants. where somebody
careIessly allowed a comma to creep
in between fruit and plants thereby
admitting millions Of oranges and lem
ons into the country duty free and
costing the treasury hundreds Of thou
sands OF dollars in loss Of imports.
Nobody ever found out whether this
was a printers slip OF a carefully de-
y.sed scheme. Certain It Is that the
trainers Of the schedule never intend
cd IL
Again. the entire body Of the pro
viso may constitute the Joker BY pur-
porting to carry one meaning when It
in reality carries quite another. Con
gress still preserves the tradition Of
the Irish representative from Massa.
chusetts who proposed that March II
be made a legal holiday in celebration
Of the Boston tea party Several
New Englanders whose zeal exceeded
their erudition warmly supported the
measure until some one pointed out
that March II was much more close
1y associated with the supposed birth
OF the proDoser's patron saint than
with the destruction Of the obnoxious
tea, which latter, indeed, was a mid,
winter festival"
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-09-08
noos AS onnNn.
ousssus Divinatian custem Ameng
min tribes a. Farthest Inaia.

ourseu. nivfnafian Cuatem Amen9
min tribes o. Farthsst Inaia.
The egg enters IN peculiar way
into the lives Of the people Of the
Khasl Hills. IN Assam, Farther India.
No event Of any importance In the life
Of a Khasi takes place without divina'
ton by egg.breaking. The number OF
eggs broken for omens Is only limited
bv the resources OF the owner. Groups
Of Khasls may be seen arguing and
wrangling for hours. and accompany
ing their calculations BY furiously
banging an egg on the ground. until In
time they are standing IN a disgusting
mess OF egg shells. yolks and the
blood.red saliva caused BY betelchew-
ina. When the success or failure OF
some prospective event Il IN question.
the custom Is 70 drop al egg on Pc
cullarly shaped board. and then. from
the confguration Of the splashed yolk.
and the position Of the bits OF she'll.
draw az augury concerning what Is
likely 70 happen. When 4 Il desired
10 discover the cause Of some sickness
or misfortune. the man addresses the
egg AFTER this fashion: "Oh. esq. ! am
only a man. and ignorant. and can
divine nothing. You can communicate
with spirits. and between them and
US have intercourse. Nov. say, who
has done this-Who has caused this
man to fall siekf II the spirit Is In
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-09-08

The man vas neither nsatiy nor vel,
dressed Io was plainly tramp. bss.
sing. and had Just turned away nom
enc paaser-by when BE- saw yaun~
man walking brlskiy toward hIm.
Please. mister said the trann. -ean
you give ua q dims to raf somsthlnr
% eat withY
Tho young man stopped -whsrs
The matter7 BE- asked
-cant get work. said he esh.,
Fiibly. n haven't had a hlfs IA 80
since yesterday morning psunsd IN
my clothes. 'ceptiDg ,hess. SLEPT unasr
a wharf for q week. and I don't NO.,
anybody IN tho whole city-honssi. 7
don't"
The young man looked A ,h.
tramp's smooth face. over which = =.
zor had evidently passed very rs-.ne
~ 's's"'
Who shaved you this mofnlnvr, \.
asked, and as the bcrsar faded 49,
the young man grinned. and ealssd 4.
down the street y"
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-09-08

company and lines - Newark nAve
boned 70 the win q ths people and are
putting back the 5000 old'fashloHed
cars In which the conductor falls ever
the passengera corna.
Women are responsible Ter the re-
version % the old type Ia Yonkerc.
They convinced their husbands that
10 negotiate three bundles. bird cage
ana several children into q car Of the
pay-as-youenter variety required .
mathematlc training far beyond them.
one OF the women was the wife Of Mrs.
Leslie Sutherland. receiver for tho
Yonkers Railroad Company.
In Newark they adopted business
methods 10 GUST the pay.as-you'enfeF
outfit. There a few hundred patrons
Of the lines agreed 70 always pay their
fares IN dollar bills. The result was
that the conductors were soon delused
with the bills and unable 70 carry snf'
ficlent change Besides this. schedules
were upset BY the delay IN making
change for 80 many.
Mr.. Sutherland told the public serv'
ice commissioner an about the trou'
blss experienced IN trying % intro
duee The trolley innovation. He said
be went 70 Van CoFtlandt Park. where
passengers change from the subway 20
The surface lines. and tried % persuade
them Il would Be an right a. soon -
they got used 10 the new system,
Il went up there" said he. until
the people made fun Of me and called
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-09-08
WHICH WILL VIM


The Chaplns. led By Aunt Ruth. had
lust started a new game. when DR..
tIDlhouse dropped in
Nay I Dlay7' he questioned
"Oh. yes. dol" cried Bertha Take
This rocking chair, doctor. and I'll tell
you how II goes. You say to me, I've
been shopping. and ask, What have
you boughtY Then instead OF telling
right out, you make each letter OF the
word the initial Of another word. For
Instance, mother Just said she'd bought
a basket OF odd knives. when It was
: book"
yes. 1 see. nodded the doctor.
Its Carts turn now" spoke up
Alice.
i've been shopping" responded
Carl.
what did you buyr Queried Ber-
tina
big red elephant and diamonds"
was the prompt answer
"0h. bread" said Bertha But who
ever head OF a red elephant"
Dr. Hillhouse guessed Bertha's
dozen OF lovely lilies" and then
gave. as his own purchase:
Horn Of rare, sweet. elecampane.-
Alice guessed horse, at the same
time saying she thought It a queer
hing to buy.
.Its a kind Of sweetmeat." tho doc.
Tor explained, laughing
Alice bought a Darling. real Eng
fish. sportive spaniel" and Aunt Ruth.
Some waters. eggs. and tender, early
rhubard."
II took Norton a minute or 50 to
make these things into sweater. Then
he gave. Capital old whale" which
mother easily guessed.
Didn't know they had whale shops"
said Alice.
picture OF Nathaniel Yates" said
Carl
'Ponyl" exclaimed Bertha. But
who IS Nathaniel Tates7'
"Im sure I don't know" said her
brother.
''rhis is the easiest game ever
played.r said Alice. But when Dr..
Hlllhouse answered the usual cues
ton With the whirl OF words. ~sids.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-09-08

hoard. raDio. oak cnairs. kaieiaosoopIo
lnstrumenta neckerchlefs. gaiterA
scarfs.r she stared At him In dismay.
why. you said them % fast she
ALTERED. Il couldn't set hold Of any
thing
Isn't speed allowabler' The doc
tor glanced smtiingly toward Aunt
Ruth.
~The faster TIE better" she replied.
-Oh. that's ineir cried Carl. SAY
Ing the words slow makes Il too easy
He said sideboard nrst. Alice. and then
came table. And CATERS and scarf1
were the last. S-tg-s-"
"stockings.~ cried Carl and Alice. IN
unlson.-Yo Companion.
One Good Turn-
Ny papa Is a doctor. and
Is treating Nellie Gray.
The daughter OF the eandy-man
Who lives across the way.
I think I shall call upon
The candy-man and see
II he. perhaps. would Ike to take
HIS turn at treating me.
Chicago News.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-09-08


A great many people seem to pride
themselves on being wen bathed indi-
viduals on the ground that every
morning they jump for a short mo-
menu into a tub Of cold water. A.
matter Of fact Il Is quite possible 70
perform this feat for three hundred
and slxty-iiye days In the year. and
yet to miss entirely the real purpose
OF the daily bath.
The cold plunge or shower 70 excel
lent In It's way for those 20 whom Il
Is suited. that Il. for the young and
the vigorous. who react perfectly. For
these Il Is invis0ratins and stimulat.
Ing. As a cleansing process Il g
hardly enough. because getting clean
does not mean merely letting water
pass over the surface OF the body
To be really clean one must make
sure that the millions Of tiny pores.
~ means Of which the skin does rs
work for the physical economy. are
kept cleared Of waste products and In
good working condition.
The skin IS one Of the most imDor.
tant o. the scavengers Of the system.
but one cannot expect Il 10 DO its
work properly II It's myriads Of tiny
holes through which Il gives on waste
matter are blocked.
This waste matter Is largely given
on "a the Precipitation. which Il com
ing through Il all the time. whether
sensibIy or insensibly. II this per.
splration IS checked. the waste prod
ucts are driven into the system. with
the result that the other organs Of
elimination. the Kidneys or the bow
els. are asked 70 do double duty. and
double duty Is not demanded OF any
organ long without a bill having to BE-
paid somehow. some time
To keep the skin IN perfect working
condition an occasional bath that real.
" washes Il Is called for This bath
should take the form Of plenty or
warm water. some good mild soap. a
small brush, and above all a good
rough towel. for the final rub Is really
more important than the soap and wa
ter wash.
The skin Is renewing itself all the
time. with the result that Il Is always
giving on minute scales. and Il Is
these which largely serve 70 block the
pores. Anyone can stand IN a good
light with a clean. dry nail brush and
prove this. Us the brush vigorously
anywhere on the skin and observe the
minute dry particles that will ny on.
Il stands TO reason that a swim
plunge into cold water and a gingerly
dab with a smooth towel are moi
enough TO properly remove these
scales. In fact, n one we're 90 placed
that It was temporarily impossible to
get a bath. the skin could Be kept
in condition BY vigorous dry rubbing.
50 far as all the purposes OF health
.-Yorth'a Companion.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-09-08

A little boy said to his sister the
other day. I bet can coax you to
set IRE to your dress"
well. I just guess you can'ti" she
cried. scornfully.
what do you net7~
you are silly. Of course you can
not: why should I bet anythingz
'sWell. I'm willing to wager my new
Iack-knife"
~An right laughed she. IN
wager my Paris doll that you cannot
Then the boy began:
Pleass set FIRE to your dress.
Please. please do
Are you tirsd7~ asked his sister.
At length
~Well.. I've won my bet all right;
said 1 would coax you to do It. and
have" said the boy.
And now that brother and sister are
trying TO decide the bet And he IS
wondering II he wants the doll. and
she Is wondering II she wants the
iack-knife. anyhow
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-09-08
oHE-M1NUTE WIRELESS.
Wen who Can Put Up Portable sta
ton in THAT Time.

Men who Can Put Up Portable Sta
ffon in That Time
There Is no other country With A
trained squad OF men possessed Of aD-
paratus which can be taken from q
wagon. set up and put In operation
capable Of sending a wireless message
twenty-five miles and occupying one
minute and eight seconds only from
the time Of command. Halt, open sta
tioni" to the first buzz Of the wireless
wave-Droducing spark.
There IL more 70 opening a wireless
station than hauling the apparatus
from the wagon II means erecting a
mast 40 feet high. spreading for 100
feet each four-stranded wires which
perform the double purpose Of holding
up the mast and Of serving as the
antenna Of the wireless set. spreading
another smaller set Of insulated wire
at the base Of the mast for ground"
and connecting the instruments and
the source Of power.
When the first portable wireless was
made in this country few years ago
. 60-foot mast was required, demand
ing a complicated system Of guys.
Troublesome ground and several hun
dred feet radius Of clear space for the
erection Of the station. The writer
well remembers seeing the first tests
Of erecting this mast at Fort Myer.
va, and thinking that hostile force
would have little trouble finding time
- Sorooileh euch an outfit during The
thrss-Quarters OF an hour It took 70 get
It IN working order.-Popular Me
,hanlea.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-09-08
FORMER U. s. TREAsURER,
WHO DIED OF APoPLExx.

Charles Henry Treat. treasurer Of
the United States under President
Roosevelt. who recently died OF apo
plexy. was born in Frankfort. Me-.
about sixty-eight years ago Among
his ancestors we're Robert Urea.
Paine. a slgner OF the Declaration Of
Independence. and Robert Treat. a
colonial governor Of Connecticut He
was graduated from Dartmouth Col
lege in 1865. and at once entered busi-
ness with his father and brothers,
who operated a feet OF twenty-eight
vessels engaged In the import and ex-
port trade. In 1855 he was Delaware's
delegate-at-large to the Republican
convention in Chicago and was cred
tied with solldifying the Delaware
delegation for BENJAMIN Harrison
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-09-08

- ~" ="
on. a jolly old place Is srandpa's barn.
where the doors stand open through
out the day.
And the cooling doves as IN and out.
And the air Is sweet with The fra
grant hay;
Where the grain lies over the sIippe'9
floor.
Ana the hens are basIly ioolins
around.
And the sunbsams aleker. now herA
now there
And the breeze blows through with
merry sound
The swallows twltter and chirp an day.
With nutterlns wings. in The old
brown caves
And the robins sing In the trees. which
To brush the roof with the ru.'lins
leaves.
. FOR the clad vacation time.
when grandpa's barn win echo the
shout
OF merry children who romp and play
In the newborn freedom OF school
let OUT
such soaring OF doves from their coy
such hunting for sgss in the lOfts -
high
TN the frightened hens. with a eael<le
shrill.
From their hidden treasures are fain
70 ny.
on. the dear old barn. 50 cool. so wide.
Its door VIII open again ere long
To the summer sunshine. the new
mown hay.
And he merry ring OF vacation song
FOR srandpa's barn IS the iolliest place
For frolic and run on summers
day;
ana cen old Time. as the years slip
BY.
It's memory never can steal away.
Mary d. Brine
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-09-08

the house. let the signs be % the lsft;
II out Of the house. on The right Then
he splits on the eEs. and. taking some
clay Ia bis hands. smears 4 over. 20
shat the outside Of the shell may b.
quite unmislaknble when e 4 smash.
cd. Apology Is made to The esq BY
the man saying. 7 don't spit on yCu't0
Insult you. but to clean you and give
you a color. and then e Il hurled
upon the board.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-09-08

Aecountancy is not and never -.
be matter Of abstract knowlsd-. I.
be transferred By means Of loetn,s,
but IL the art Of knowing how q -, !.
ply that kno~ledse 10 the reos,,s
ments Of business under very vs,-,..
condition.. u is essentially eomstS,.ss
that cannot be taught IN lselgrs. .s
classes but can only BE- acquired y
result Of careful individual ss,Ss
and q reasonable amount IN . ...uy
practice Bookkeeping SEXUAL
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-09-08

There is green On the hnl. there Il gola
on the river.
And the wind on the rye sets my spirit
a-quiver.
There's a thrill IN the sod
Al the touch Of the God.
And a song IN my heart for the gin
and the Glver
Now the grief that for days 70 my
heart has been cilnging
Il gone down the wind on the wings
Of the singing.
The old sorrows die
In the dance OF the rye.
And the JOY Of the world IN my spirit
- springing.
Edwin Markham IN June Nautilus
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-09-08

Political Agltator--I say again, gen
tIsmen. the socialist are putting IN
the thin end Of the wedge.
Voice from the Crowd-say. guvnor.
You wouldn't ave EN- put IN the thick
end first, would yer?"-M A. p
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-09-08

Parcel Laden 3unnrDnn Travellers
successfully Comf,Ine.
They do not care for new.fangiod
things on their trolley cars 10 the sub.
urban districts. the New York Herald
says y.as-you'enter cars may be ali
right in Broadway, but IN Yonkcrs ana
New Jersey, where The suburbaniio Il
kDown BY the number Of parcels he
carries. that sort Of modern equipment
Is not wanted, thanks
and. therefore. the Yonkers railroad
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-09-08

Daughtor-PaDa, what Is a foot pas
senger7
Bather--A fool who gets IN the way
Of the cars, ny dsars-sourire.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-09-08

HeWist-Half The world so.....
KNOW Know now the other hair lives ~ ~
It'll think you ovorss,in,., Jew
number ,''l',. o. people who mind Their o ,'s
business Brooklyn Llfe w own
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-09-08

Mrs. Youngbride Smith say.
there Is lots Of cream on her milk
bottles every morning. Why Is there
never any on ours.
The Milkman--I'm too honest, lady.
that's why. flIs my bottles 80 full
that there amt never no room left for
cream Woman's Home Companion.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-09-08

Teacher-Tommy. what Is the femi-
nine corresponding to the masculine
'stag"f
Tommy (whose mother Is q society
Ieader) Afternoon tea, ma'am.-Mii-
waukeo Evening Wisconsin.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-09-08

Soon after McKinley's election be was
appointed collector or Internal revenue
for the Wall street district. serving
during the spanish-American war.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-09-08

compulsory sleeplessneaa c.,.
S Dsn'' y ,.n 10, ior murder is fatal la
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-09-08

Many a man fails to make good be.
cause be spends most Of his time try
fug 70 prove that luck Is against him.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-09-08

The Bone OF Contention.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1910-09-08

The chapins. led By Aunt Ruth. had
lust started a new game. when DR..
LIulhouse dropped In.