davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The fool-killer., 1910-03-01
PUT EN- IN THE BUC-HOUSE

want to stop right here long
enough. to throw up my old hat
and yell hurrah for Col. Jack
Chinn, of Kentucky. Col. Jack
has pulled the stopper out of him
self and poured out some mighty
interesting talk on the subject of
pistol-toting. He says that every
fellow who is found sneaking a.
round with a pistol in his hip
pocket ought to be yanked up by
the equator of the breeches and
chucked head foremost into an
insane asylum.
The Kentucky Colonel testifes
that carrying a pistol is a strong
incentive to use it, and after using
it with fatal results the murderer
tries to get off by pleading emo
tional insanity, brain-storm or
some such tommyrot as that. Now
if a man is crazy when he shoots,
the natural inference is that he
was crazy when he armed himself
for shooting. So thinks the Col
onel, and so think |.
AS a general rule, there is no
need of going armed in this coun-
try. If man will behave himself
and attend to his own business he
will not get into any trouble. I
could travel all over the United
States without a pistol or any 9th
The fool-killer., 1910-03-01

and women together, and when
you connect the wires and turn ON
that current there's going to be
some 'sparking'' in spite of the
devil.
Perhaps the sweet sixteen might
Platonize with the old gray-head-
ed patriarch who taught her
grandfather his b c's; and per-
haps the gosling boy might have a
purely disinterested affection for
the dear old wrinkle-faced woman
who lives next door; but when a
man and woman in the bloom of
youth or the strength of middle
age get to- playing on that old
Platonic fiddle, they are going to
wind up with an affinity jig"
and that little green-eyed imp you
call Cupid is going to dance to the
music.
The fool-killer., 1910-03-01

er weapon and feel much safer
than If I were armed like a walk
ing arsenal and bristling with
swords and shooting-irons. To go
unarmed is the best prote ction a
peaceable man can have, and for
my use | wouldn't t give three cents
for all the pistols that were ever
made.
A term in the bug-house for
pistol-toters would wean some of
them, at least.
The fool-killer., 1910-03-01
Agents Wanted

I want a good hustling Agent at
every postofice to take subscriptions
for THE FOOL-KILLER. My terms
to Agents are very liberal, and will
be sent on application. The name,
"FOOL-KILLER,'' is so odd and un-
usual that it attracts attention wher-
ever it is shown, and an Agent can
easily make several dollars day
Get my Agents terms and a bunch
Of Samples and start to work at once.
JAMES LARKIN PEARSON,
Moravian Falls, North Carolina.
The fool-killer., 1910-03-01
THAT NASTY PRIZE FIGHT.

The wild and woody denizens of
the wild and woody West are fix
ing to pull off another big rotten
sensation in the shape of prize
fight between a white man and a
niger. It seems that there is a
big buck nigger named johnson
who at present holds the worlds
championship as a heavyweight
paunch-pelter and all round slug
artist. Well, the half civilized
tribes of California, who would
rather see fight than hear a SER
mon any day, have worked up a
case between this nigger johnson
and their old patron saint, Jim
Jeffries, and one of these days
they are going to settle the race
question for good and all.
Shame! shame! Will California
never learn to be decent? She is
about the only State where such
an old hip-shotten, low-down,. rot
ten, devil-begotten performance
could take place. But it seems
that the untamed rowdies of the
West cannot live without their
prize fights. Their wild, uncul-
tured cowboy natures crave blood
and carnage, and to see two half
naked brutes pounding each other
into Jelly is the greatest JOY of
their lives.
When old nature got up and
shook herself a few years ago,
and laid San Francisco in ashes
and ruins, | thought perhaps it
had shaken some of the devil out
of those people; but instead of
helping matters it seems to have
made them worse. They are sim
ply dying now to see big nigger
cram his rusty fist down the throat
of fool white man.
While we don't have these
brutal exhibitions in the East, our
newspapers give them too much
space and we are all too eager to
read about them. Let us cut it out.
The fool-killer., 1910-03-01
PLATONIC LOVE.

Now, see here, you slab-sided
slang-Whangers, let your uncle
have a whack at that Platonic
Love question. Ever since Heck
was pup they have been talking
about this thing, and it strikes me
sorter perpendicular sideways
that it's time the question was set
tied. "A question is never settled
until it is settled right,' once
wisely remarked your Aunt Ella
Squeeler Pillbox,~ and so The
Fool-Killer is going to settle this
great Platonic Love question if it
takes FIVE whole minutes to do it.
This old wobbly world, in it's
efforts to be broad-minded and
lnagnanimous, has just about stag
gered into, it's own cavernous
mouth and swallowed itself. In
modern straddlebug society mar
ried masculine mollycoddle feels
that he isn't exactly bong-swong
until he gets up case of Platonic
love with about sixteen pretty
married women who never heard
of Plato. The way-up social set
thinks it is quite the proper caper
for married men to temporarily
swap wives and go hugging some
other mans buxom spouse around
over the ballroom floor. And then
after the ball." when the lights
burn low and the fairies get sleepy,
you might find these "Platonic
friends coupled off in corners,
every man courting his neighbours
wife till the roosters crow for
day.
And yet there's nothing but
mere friendship in it all! just Pla-
tonic friendship and nothing more!
They belong to the same club,
have been reading the same book,
or in some way their interests run
in the same channel, and they are
just talking it over. Sex attrac-
tion and that old serpent of car
nality have nothing to do with it.
Oh, no! Say, if you believe that,
you are bigger fool than Thomp-
sons colt. There is the same force
at work that always draws men
The fool-killer., 1910-03-01
AND SHE WRIT A BOOK.

PROOFS OF SPIRIT IDENTITY
A series of letters from Spirit Eliza
beth Barrett Browning to j. G. F..
Grumbine while clergyman in the
Unitarian Church. Price soc. Ad-
dress j. @. F. Grumbine, 1890 Beacon
St., Brookline, Mass.
The above advertisement ap-
pears in the March number of
The Stellar Ray, of Detroit,
Mich. The Stellar Ray is a double
geared jimdandy of nonsensical
nothipg-patch, and it's reading col
umns as we'll as it's advertising
columns are filled up with just
about such reeking rot as the
above.
Now, fiddlesticks! How can
Elizabeth Barrett? We all know
that Mrs. Browning used to write
books, but she quit that business
a good while ago, and this is the
first news / have had from her
since she crossed over. If [ be-
lieved this news was authentic I
would gather herbs or make cross
ties to get the money and order
her new book. But | don't. Mrs.
Browning's body is in the grave,
and if her spirit is living any
where it is certainly in better bus
mess than sending letters to J. c..
f. Grubworm.
Now if this snide used to be a
clergyman in the Unitarian
Church, and if that position
brought him in such close touch
with heaven that he could COM
municate with Mrs. Browning,
why in all creation didn't he hang
onto his job? He admits now that
he IS not at present a clergyman
in the Unitarian Church. And
why? Because the devil could use
him to better advantage some
where else. He is now one of the
DEVILS private secretaries, and if
there is such book as the, one
mentioned above, either Mr.. Satan
or Mr.. Grubworm wrote it. You
can take my word for it that
Elizabeth Barrett Browning is not
writing books-or letters either
just at this stage of the game.
The fool-killer., 1910-03-01
Let My Old Breeches Alone.

DIR. Mary Walker is trying to have
a law passed making it lawful for
women to wear breeches. News item.
Say, women, hate like the mischief
To utter this stinging rebuke,
But some of your tribe are SO crazy
They almost compel me to puke.
I've stood up and fought for you
bravely,
And helped in your social advance,
And now in return for my kindness
Pm asked to fork over my pants.
I've given you most of my wardrobe
My hat and my collar and tie,
And then as a favor to you-al,
/ told my suspenders goodbye.
Pm willing to make you goddess,
And set you high up on throne,
If only you'll stick to your dresses
And let my old breeches alone.
The fool-killer., 1910-03-01

PROOFS OF SPIRIT IDENTITY
A series of letters from Spirit Eliza
beth Barrett Browning to J. G. F..
Grumbine while a clergyman in the
Unitarian Church. Price SOC. Ad-
dress j. G. F. Grumbine, 1890 Beacon
St., Brookline, Mass.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-06-03

Custom AIlows So Many Pounds and
ounces a Head, a Week.


The English custom of allowing SO
many pounds and ounces OF food
week to servants is practically un-
known in this country. The Queen
contains the following explicit figures
In regard to servants allowancess
'The usual allowance for tea is
quarter OF a pound head a week, and
as long as the servants keep within
this ! should not bother much about
when they have their tea; butter.
half pound a head week for eating
purposes; sugar. from half a pound
70 a pound a head weekly; cheese,
from half a pound TO pound head
weekly. according to whether you al
low meat for supper or not
'sThe cocoa you would reckon sepa-
rately from the tea, as you allow 1t IN
stead OF beerJ the amount Of this re-
quired depends greatly on the quality
OF the cocoa, but with a good brand
you would allow a teaspoonful or
rather under to each cup, so that II
the servants have 1t once a day you
would reckon two ounces a head a
week. For meat the usual allowance
Is from one-half to three-quarters OF
a pound a head a day, the latter In
cluding bone; anything beyond seven
pounds a head weekly indicates waste
or dishonesty"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-06-03

~ Advertise in the PRESS.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-06-03
Political Card

Political Card
To the Democratic Voters of Pike
County;
/ hereby announce my candidacy
for the nomination for
STATE SENATOR
at the Primary Election to be held
on Saturday June 4th and respect
fully solicit your support
HARVEY HUFFMAN.
stroudsburg Pa, Apr p, 1910.
Candidates Card.
To the voters of Pike County
Upon the urgent request Of voters
OF both parties, l announce my
candidacy, for the nomination, to
the office Of
REPR RESENTATIVE IN
THE GENERAL
ASSEMBLY
II nominated and elected, 1 will
do all can for Pike County.
ALFRED MARVIN
Matamoras, Pa, May q 1910.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-06-03

rhe cost 81 4 PreserIptlon.

The writer took doctors prescrip-
ton to the drug store to have It filled.
In some way this piece Of paper be
came torn in half. so that when the
patron handed the druggist the first
piece that public servant at once
measured out the ammonia salt 1t
called for. and placed the small vial
before his customer.
"How much?" asked the patron.
Ten cents"
@Oh. beg pardonl" said the pur.
chaser, at this juncture finding Il,
remainder Of the prescription in his
pocket. "This piece says to add
CROUCH water to the other to make
four ounces"
Very wen," -rejoined the apothe
cary, dumping the contents Of the
small vial into a four-ounee bottle and
adding the required water. There you
are, sir. forty cents more, please"
"Whatl Ten cents for ammonia
ard forty cents for the water7"
Exactly. The doctors name writ
ten after the water makes 1t a pre-
sciipdon, ana we put up no prescrip-
lions under fifty cents. - Judge.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-06-03

Pike County Teachers win Be foows
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-06-03

A troupe OF colored players was
playing O.Aello. The play had reach
ed that siege where Othello demands
OF De-dcmoHa the handkerchief he has
given her.
"Desdemona. whar's dat handker-
chiosT
n,16s-ona, OF course having lost
the -koepsake. bowed her head, and
said nothing.
sDesdemona. waars dat handker-
chlef?"
No reply.
'.Now nlsssh. shell out. whar's dat
hand erchiof?'
By thls time a god in the gallery
became excited and shouted down;
"For de Lawd's sake. Niggah, wipe
yo' rose on 20 sleeve and let de play
80 oa."
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-06-03

Common School Diploma viii be held in all districts
Greene place
will be held Kippown school,
provide
plenty of fosap pencils and ink and scratch
tablet
teachers certificate who the required
professional reading equivalent
with exception the will be-
promptly required penalty
Of beinge from the examinations.
special will be held at Matamoa August
School parties cordially
M examinations.
LUCIAN wESTBROOK,
Supt Pike County Schools
NIatamorns Pa, May ls, 1910.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-06-03

Colonel Peterby met his colored
gardener. Jim Webster. Jim had been
recently married.
"How do you like matrimonyf
asked Colonel Peterby.
Jim shook. his head dubiously.
whats the matterT"
eyer see, boss. before we we're
married, when / knocked at de dore
she used ter say; Am dat you. honey
sucker Now when come home-shs
bawls out. Clean on dem boots oe-
fore you comes in dat dore, you black
mcrei'"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1910-06-03
THE SHEPHERD MAID


'What your thoughts My shepherd maid
In the field the whole long day
With your dumb friends, companions see
How do you while your time away2'
The maiden looked up with wondering eyes
At the stranger. who stnoa by her side,
5 sinici a cia-l al hands her crook
in these replied:
my thoughts Why the skies. fields and dowers
The stream AVID the rolling cascade
commune with all day while my sheep nip and play
In the meadows and in the shade
Nature is large book read it each day
AS sit on this covered stone;
look up the clouds they pass overhead
For and then they gone.
As the clouds do not last think of time past,
And clouds did they;
That is time present but time present is short
For il, too, soon passes away.
look a the beautiful flowers and trees
All rich varied garments they wear,
But when Autumn IN then they will begin
TO cast them to Che winds everywhere.
But there's a kind Hand that for them all,
Not blade, leaf or flower is lost,
Whether trampled earh OF hid in cave,
Or e'en the wild Sillows tossed.
CECILIA a. CULLEN.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1910-11-23
Piano Tuning.

/ have done as much work the past
summer as 1 wanted to. In fact, l
have had to keep my tuning fork on
ice to keep it from melting, but it is
getting some cooler now, and if any
of my old customers want their pianos
tuned or any new customers will trust
me with their work, will be glad to
do it. l guarantee my work AND Wi:
give entire satisfaction or money re-
funded l have a limited time in
Palestine to do this work, and have
no time to solicit, so if you want me
to do your work just drop me card
or leave orders with w. H. Kingsbury
or w. E. Swift and 1 will give the
matter prompt attention.
Yours for good, honest work,
H. M. Jones.
Box S14. 1O-27-tf
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1910-11-23

Try want ad. in the Herald.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1910-11-23
RACE At SANTA MONICA
Sixteen Daring Drivers Will Compete
In the Two Hundred Mile Auto
Race Tomorrow.
(Herald Specially

Santa Monica, Cal, Nov 23.-With
cars running at top speed for the
final trials before the big race tomor-
row, the sixteen daring drivers who
are to pilot the cars in the big annual
event of the Southern California Au-
tomobile Dealers Association, made
circuit after circuit over the S.4 mile
a5sise today, perfecting their ac=
quaintance with the route over which
they are to speed in the 2OO-mile
race. The course is one of the safest
in the world and in it's present per-
feet condition it is expected that an
average speed close to seventy miles
an hour will be made in tomorrow's
race. Large grandstands have been
constructed along the ocean front for
the accommodation of the thousands
of spectators.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1910-11-23
GROWING CHILDREN

play hard and work hard at school
and rapid growth uses UP an enor
nous amount of energy and vitality
that needs replacing.
This accounts for the many deli
cate, sickly and ailing children we
see on our streets.
We wish the mothers of every such
child would come to our store for a
bottle of Vinol, as it is delicious
cod liver and iron tonic which chill
dren love to take, and it is easily as
simulated.
A grateful mother in Duran, Mich.
says her little girl was weak, pale
and had no appetite. She gave her
Vinol and she began to thrive at
once-and she gained rapidly in
weight, color and strength. Name
furnished on request)
Vinol builds up good healthy flesh
and muscle tissue and makes thin
little limbs round and plump.
Try a bottle of Vinol with the I'm,
derstanding that if it does not bene-
fit your child your money will be re-
turned.
Bratton Drug Co., Palestine, Texas.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1910-11-23
Virginia and North Carolina.
(Herald Specially

Richmond, Va, Nov. 23-Lovers of
the gridiron sport in two states are
on edge in anticipation of the annual
game to be played here tomorrow be-
tween the elevens of the University
of Virginia and the University of
North Carolina. Ever since 1892,
with the exception of three or four
years in which no games were played,
the football contest between the
neighboring state university teams
has been Thanksgiving day attrac-
ton in Richmond and has never failed
to attract large crowds. The rivalry
between the two institutions is in
tense and at every game two armies
of loyal followers always turn out to
root for the victory of their favorites.
Virginia has far the better of it in
the record of the past Of fourteen
games played the Charlottesville
team has ten victories to four scored
by the North Carolina team In 1902
the teams played tie game
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1910-11-23
Missing.

Walter Irving Tomas, age 20 years;
'air complexion, dark blue eyes, light
brown hair, inclined to curl; is feet
II inches tall, weighs about 1870
pounds, clean shaver. Wears No. Z
Or 8 black shoes, and dark pants, vest
and coat. Had on dark derby or
grey, soft hat, carries an open faced
gold watch. Is an accountant Left
home Summit, N j. suddenly Aug.
10, 1910. His people are almost dis
tracted. He takes his vacations by
tramping through the different states.
he may come your way. His people
will be thankful if they know he is
alive and well.
Communications from him, or any,
one location confidentiaD, will be
L kindness to his distressed parents
Address c. H. Seguin, Baltimore,
Maryland; or his aunt, Mrs. Annie
Tomas Osborn, fremont Avenue New
York City; or his father, William B.
Tomas, Summit, N. ].
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1910-11-23
NO SCHOOL ON FRIDAY
Teachers Have Been Granted Friday
as Well as Thursday-AIl Peti-
toned the Board.

All the teachers in the city schools
(white), petitioned the school board
to give them Friday as well as Thurs
day as holiday, and this petition has
been granted. 1t has been the GUS
I'm of the school trustees for some
years past to give Thursday and Fri
day as holidays on Thanksgiving, that
some of the teachers, whose homes
are elsewhere, may go home for
Thanksgiving. And the day is not
wasted, for the teachers will return
.-e.r tasks Monday following feel
ing in better humor, and in better
condition to carry on the work.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1910-11-23

Jas. F. Brook, Architect and Engi-
neer, Room 25, Link Building. tt
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1910-11-23

Herald want. ads. bring results.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1910-11-23
SHERL 0Ck HOLMES
READY FRIDAY
Will Write His First Story In Daily Herald
Then, and Tell of Interesting
Experiences.
Friday is the day.

Alods INC ods
Sherlock Holmes, Jr., the Man OF
Mystery, will write his own story Fri
day telling of his impressions of Pal
estine and touching upon things in
( general, and it is safe bet that the
story will be well worth reading.
The mysterious man has been
knocking about the city in spots, 10
eating the principal business houses
getting the names of streets and in
cidentally getting himself into shape
to write intelligently about the town
and the people.
Whom you take into consideration
that the Man of Mystery is total
stranger in Palestine, you can readily
understand that it is no easy matter
to get thoroughly posted on every
thing necessary, and as Mr. Holmes
is only human, of course it is but
natural to suppose that you must bear
with him while he has all this to do.
"When's that man coming?" asked
little fellow in the Daily Herald Of
flee yesterday
What MANI" bystander in
quired.
THAT mysterious man." replied the
youngster, "that Mr.. Holmes"
He was told that Mr. Holmes was
liable to pop in at any minute, but
the kidlet shook his head obviously
as much as to say, you'll never put
one by me-" and left, we presume, to
return again.
A great many questions are being
asked in regard to Sherlock Holmes,
Jr., but beyond the information pub
lished in the Daily Herald, no ques-
lions will be answered by anyone, for
it is a part of the game for every
one connected in any way with the
proposition to- be deaf, dumb and
blind. Everything that is necessary
for you to know has been or will be
published from day to day, and any
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1910-11-23

Box 814.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1910-11-23
other questions will be treated as if
they had never been asked
Employees Barred.

Employees Barred.
All employees of the Daily Herald,
whether directly or Indirectly connect
! ed with the paper, are barred from
participation in the contest 1t is
open to every one else, but not to en-
/ ployees of the paper. This is done so
as to safeguard the proposition and
make it absolutely fair and square to
every one While only those in au-
| thority at the Daily Herald office
know anything whatever in regard to
+, the contest, still, it is considered best
not to allow any one connected with
the paper to participate
There will very likely be some
! little extra free prizes connected with
this contest as it goes along, but
should this be the case it will be
taken up in this paper and full pub
licity given. So watch the Daily Her
aid for anything along this or any
other line.
Sherlock Holmes, Jr., has already
had one or two little experiences that
are worth telling, and though coming
early in the game, they will make
most interesting reading. He will
give an account of them in his story
Friday.
Remember now, this is the phrase
at present and it is well to remember
it, for when you attempt to spring it
you viii find that the words somehow
get badly mixed and refuse to operate
exactly as you would have them:
"Of the Palestine Daily Herald, Mr..
Sherlock Holmes, Jr., you are the
mysterious man. at the same time
holding the issue of that day in your
hand when you say the phrase.
Mr. Holmes writes his own story
Friday.
To- Il AraI nd INV
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1910-11-23
The Texas Wonaer

cures Kidney, Bladder and Rheumatic
troubles. s1OO bottle seldom fails to
give quick and permanent relief.
Write for local testimonials. DR.. w.
E. Hall, 1926 Olive ST., st. Louis, Mo-
Sold by Druggists.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1910-11-23
BOIL WEEV|l PROBLEMS
Discussed at Atlanta, Ga, Convention.
Increased Attendance Marks the
Second Day.
(Herald Specially

Atlanta, Ca, Nov 23-There was
an increased attendance of delegates
this morning when the congress call
ed to discuss the boil weevil problem
assembled for it's second days SEES
sion. President Cabaniss of the
Georgia Farmers Union pr resided and
among the well known educators, en-
tomoligical experts and others who
were heard during the day were DR..
S. A. Knapp of the United States De-
partment of Agriculture, President A.
NJ. Soule of the Georgia College of
Agriculture, G. w. Ormes of Texas,
and the agricultural commissioners of
several of the southern states, whose
annual conference is in progress here.