Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1910-03-30

body for a mummy. Could Mr.. Bowser
be enticed? Did be ever drink soda
water? If be saw a blow from tack
hammer coming could he sidestep it?
Would anybody buy him for mummy
if he was dead!
Half past 8. and the strain was be-
coming intense.
Nine o'clock, and the police tele-
phoned that man had just leaped
from the forty eighth story of a sky
scraper and that his remains had been
picked up in hat. 1t was supposed to
be a case of unrequited love Might
or might not be Mr.. Bowser-what did
she think?
Half past 9. and Mrs. Bowser called
up the family doctor on the telephone
Dr.. Sokem on the Phone.
Eyes, this is DR., Sokem. What's |
wanted? Who is it? Oh. Mrs. Bowser,
eh? Well. has Bowser started for the
north pole yet? Hasn't come home |
this evening and you are worried?
Don't you go into fits over Bowser
Never can tell what he'll do next. you
| know. Dead? Nonsense! He'll come
home all right and explain things. May
have stopped somewhere to look at
| flying machine. Good nightv'
| Ten o'clock. and no Bowser The
! wind was now moaning like lost
SOUL. Mrs, Bowser listened to it and
wished she had let Mr. Bowser buy
that squash farm, He had never been
the same since mentally, and she was
to blame for it.
] Had some one come across his frozen
remains in a snowdrift? Were they
now lifting them up tenderly? We're
they now wondering if an extravagant
wife had driven the poor man from
home? They probably were, and Mrs.
BOwser Wept and resolved never to
pay over Z cents for another handker-
chief.
Eleven O'Clock by the booming bells.
1t had been a night of terrible ankle
ty, One-two-three doomed the bells.
and the cook. who had been asleep on
the kitchen table. came up to go to her
room and halted to say:
IF he's dead then he is dead, and
we can't help it. Let US hope that he
persisted happy and that his last
thought was of u.s.
Eowser Falls In.
Half past II. and something bulky
fell against the front door and paved
around. Why keep the world Oh
tenter hooks? 1t was Mr.. Bowser
With a great sigh of thankfulness Mrs
Bowser opened the door. reached out
for a coat collar. and then with a great
jerk at it She announced:
Come in here, young man. and ex
plain yourselfr'
Mr.. Bowser came in. He made rail
fences through to the sitting room.
dropped into a chair, and after looking
around the room in a vacant way be
asked:
Am | homer"
YES"
Are you Mrsh Bowsher?"
Yes"
well, I'll tell you whasher maZzer.
l Joined club tonight-new club-club
called 'Shober Old Dubs' Over forty
shober old dubs there, and | never had
sho much fun in my life. Mrs. Bow
sher. if you was only shober old dub
I'd have. you join. Would FIR a fack
l wanted to come home, but they
wouldn't let me. They stood me on
my head when l wanted to come
home Was you crying FIR me. Mrsh
Bowsher''
We'll talk this over in the morn
ing" said Mrs. Bowser in severe
tones.
But why not talk it over t'night.
when I'm PERFECTLY shober? may
not be in 'er morning. Mrsh Bowsher.
is That our front door out zhere?'
"Of course"
"And does it know me?"
st ought to-"
"Zhen why did it strike at me and
tell me to go way back when l come
home?
Mr.. Bowser was assisted upstairs
and to bed. and when morning came
and Mrs. Bowser started to say some
thing he cut her off with:
THE next time | am out late buy
ing real estate don't make a ninny of
yourself and add two or three dollars
to the gas bill. When / came up in
the taxi l thought the house was on
fire."