Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-09-09
For an Idle Moment.

hear a mans voice inquire hurriedly.
"Is this one nine OF"
When she could catch her breath the
lady, who was very proper young lady
indeed, replied: 81 think not. We're we
ever iGtroduced?"
Prof. William James, Harvard's brill
liant psychologist, often illustrates a
truth with story.
"The most CHASTITY superstition" Prof.
James said recently, "has often its base
in a ludicrous fact. 1t is like the case of
Jones.
"Jones,' said man, tells me that his
wooden leg panied him horribly last
night
"'Nonsensep was the reply. How
could his wooden leg pain him?'
ellis wife, the man explained, hit
him over the head with it.
few years ago there was a. shiftless
colored boy, named Ransom Blake, who,
delinquencies, was at last sentenced to a
short term in the penltentiary, where he
was sent to learn trade. On the day OF
his return home he met friendly white
acquaintance, who asked:
well, what did they put you at in the
prison, Ranse?
"Dey started in to make an honest boy
out'n me, sah."
That's good. Ranse; and / hope they
succeeded"
"They did, san"
"And how did they teach you to be
honest?'.
"Dey done put me ir the shoe shop,
sab, nailin pasteboard onter shoes fo'
leather soles, sah.''
Il do think" said Mrs. McGOOzie, "my
husband is the most persistently argu-
mentative man | ever saw. He'll con-
trovert any proposition, no matter what
it is. This morning, while we were
waiting On platform of one OF the ele-
waited railway stations for train, he
saw the sign Out of order on one Of
those chewing gum slot machines
"T'm willing to bet cent it isn't out
of order,' he said.
"And he dropped coin in the slot.
He didn't get any stick of gum, and he
didn't get his money back.
There said. L hope you're salts
fed now.
THAT doesn't prove anything, Al
yira,' he grunted. The machine isn't
out of order; it's built that way on pur-
pose.'
But that's Lysander all over.
%
when | was in London" said Miss
Warner to the little group Of friends
round the dinner table who were listen
ing to her account of some amusing ex-
periences she had abroad last summer, |
tried to be as British as could, but |
was constantly getting mixed in my
English phrases.
"You know one of the underground
railroads in London is always spoken of
as the 'tupenny tube so one day when |
wished to be transported in hurry from
one side of the city to the other aston
ished big, pleasant-faced Bobby by ask
ing where was the nearest station of the
two penny tub"
Every one at the table laughed except
the young Scotch guest. He leaned
across the board and said, very seriously.
"Ye know we Gamma get bawth in Lun-
non for tup-pence."
Mark Tulley, state treasurer and can
didate for reelection, was a travelling
salesman for twenty-five years and has
fund of good stories of the road.
He tells that one time he was in
town in central Kansas where a pro-
tracted revival meeting was going on.
One of the residents of the town was
named Toby. He was tall, gaunt man
with long whiskers, and was very fond
of imbibing whiskey, of which he fire.
quently imbibed beyong his limit. This
man was attending one of the meetings,
and the revivalist was busy scoring every
form of vice and calling down drastic
condemnation upon them.
"Wee to the drunkard! Woe to the
drunkard! Woe to the drunkardr' he
shouted in doleful tones.
Old Toby got on his feet and tugged at
his whiskers, and the fact that he stut-
tered only made his interruption more
marked: "G-gx-guess th-th-th-at's
m-m-el Him present.
The preacher went on. "Woe to the
liars. Woe to the liars Woe to the
thieves! Woe to the thievesw His voice
was dOlOrOus and sepulchral.
Again old Toby got to his feet. He
mOtiOned around the ROOM swinging