The Holbrook news., 1910-07-22
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 about two dollars.-Yale Record
 But what reason have you for thinking women have no aim in life?" Well. I've seen several of them try to throw stones" Did Simpkins get any damages in that assault case?" Did he? My dear fellow, you ought to see his face" St. Louis Star.
 '.Pd like to get tablet" said the customer. addressing the drug clerk. Dyspepsia or writing?' inquired the clerk.-Ames Times.
 Jinks-I saw something cheap at a bargain counter today. Binks-What was it? Jinks-A man waiting for his Record-Herald
 How did you get the reputation of being taciturn?" Possibly because I only discuss matters that I am famil- jar with. h."-Pittsburg Post
 Scorcher-Have you heard the latest auto record? Fleigher-No; what is 1t? Scorcher-An auto made an hour in ffty-nine minutesi-Puck.
 Mir. Cityman-What do you find the hardest thing to raise on farm? Far mer Clovertop-The interest on the mortgage.-P Philadelphia Record
 'Arry-wot's yer 'urry, Bill? Bill I've got to go to work. 'Arry- Work? Why, wot's the matter with the missis? Ain't she well?-Illustrat- ed Bits.
 Hubby-What! You paid $50 for that imported hat? It's monstrous- it's q sini Wife (sweetly)-No mat ter; the sin will be on my head,- Lippincott's.
 T don't understand you, Linda. One day you're bright and jolly and the next depressed and sad" Well, I'm in half-mourning, that's why"-Flie- gende Blatter.
 How much does it cost to get mar ried?" asked the eager youth That depends entirely on. how long you live" replied the sad-looking man Philadelphia Record
 He seems to be an up-to-date poli- tician." T should say so Before pro posing to Miss Specie he got up peti- tion with 2.O0O signatures urging her to accept him. Life
 She-Wouldn't it be grand if we could only see ourselves as others see us? He-Well, hardly; but 1t would be grand if we could make others see us as we see ourselves.
 T can't make anything out of this poem of yours.' complained the maga- zine editor That isn't the point" re- piled the poet. The question is. can I m 1o opyfhiru o1f of
 "I'll be ready in minute she said to her husband. You needn't hurry now" he called up some time later. "I find that I shall have to shave again-"-Detroit Free Press.
 Wife. trying to convey hint-A tree, you know, gets new clothes every spring. Husband, too experienced to be caught-Yes, dear; it makes them all itself, and finds it's own material. too.
 As the train neared the city, the colored porter approached the jovial- faced gentleman, saying. with smile. Shall An brush you off, sah?" No" he replied, T prefer to get off in the usual manner"
 "Is our new member homely? We'll. I should say, Did yon ever see a photograph of him?' Why. no. but I've seen caricatures of him" "Oh, they fiatter him; you should see one of his photograph
 Wife-I say, do you know the girl in the fiat above us won a piano at the Charity Bazaar lottery yesterday? pianol Great Scott,, And that's what they call a.charity bazaar! .Meggendorfer Blatter.
 Old Lady-I want you to take back that parrot you sold me. I find that it swears very badly. Bird Dealer Well, madam, it's very young bird. It'll learn to swear better when it's a bit older.-Human Life.
 "She had a good husband" said Mrs. Babbleton. But she got a divorce from him" ''Yes. She didn't know what a good husband he was till she saw how generously he behaved about the y"-Chicago Journal.
 The Preacher-Next Tuesday even ing Elder Jinks will address the Mems Club on Hell" The Elder-You might add, parson, that I would be sldO lO See Lne lcSl ol tHS SoH6A cSo' ion there, too.-Sunday Magazine.
 Cptimist-I don't believe in climb ing over an obstruction until one comes to it. Pessimist-And, judging from your appearance, I should say that you never see an obstruction until you bump against it.-Chicago Record Herald.
 Johnny" said the boys mother. T lope you have been a nice, quiet boy t school this morning?" That's what was," answered Johnny. T went to leep and the teacher said she'd whip ny boy in the room who walked me p.'
 T say, Jones. dine with me at the ouse tonight, will you?" Certainly. ,ith nleasure Will yOur wife expect