Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-03-11
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Jones tat the ball, to Mrs. Cater
SOM How beautifully your daughter
sits out her dances. Life
You used to be an awful spend
thrift" Yep, But l amt any long
err All Reformed?" MOI spent
1t all."-Cleveland Leader.
Who was the greatest fnancier
ever hnown?" Noah; because he
tloated his stock when the whole world
was In liquidation. '-Tit-Blts.
Il never dare to look down when
I'm standing on a high place" said
Mrs Lapsling. 1T always gives me
an attack of verdigris Chicago
Tribune.
Miss ROgers-Iiow did you imagine
Ianything so beautiful as the angel in
your picture? Artist--Got an engaged
man to describe his fiancee to me-
Brooklyn Life
DO you like my new hat?' asked
Mrs, Brooke. Yes, indeed" replied
Mrs Lynn Il had one Just like 1t
when they were in le"-Lippin.
colts Magazine.
How did You enjoy the musicale?"
"oh, applauded at the wrong time,
as usual. Thought the orchestra tun-
| ing mp was a classical number kan
sas City journal.
| Il want 20 hook at some dresses suit.
able for automobiling, said the lady.
yes, ma'am," replied the polite clerk;
these walking skirts are the thing
| -Yonkers Statesman
| Pedestrian-How far is it to Alder.
| shot? Let me see, Well, as the crow
Hies-- Footsore Tommy-Neyer
mind 'ow the beggar flies; 'ow far is it
rs the beggar ops?-Punch,
Caller-How pleased YOU must be
10 find that your new cook is a stay
! er. E'ostess-My dear. don't mention
! it, She's slayer, all right, but un-
fortunately she's not cook boston
| Transcript.
Mr.. Figg Gasser says he kept per-
| fectly cool last night when that burg
| lar got into the house. Mrs Figg SO
his wife told me. She found him try
ing to hide in the refrigerator Dos
| ton Transcript.
DO YOU ever find it desirable to
oppose your wife?" YES" answered
| Mr. Meekton. Il always feel less like
ly TO annoy Henrietta If / can avoid
being her partner in a bridge game"
| Washington Star
Father" said Little Rollo, what is
a happy medium" Il suppose. my
son, that it is one who can earn sew.
eral hundred dollars day by making
tables and chairs move around the
room. - Washington Star
"Megp No answer "Maggie!" he
| called softly Complete silence.
| 'Madge!" Not sound Margaret"
Then he whiStled softly before making
his final effort "Marguerite!" And
iiute-like voice replied in the dis
tance--''Yes, darling!"
Physician Have you any aches or
pains this morning? Patient-Yes.
| doctor; 1t hurts me TO breathe. i'm
fact, the only trouble now seems to be
with my breath. physlcian-Al right.
III give you something that viii soon
stop that Boston Globe
Yes" admitted the modest yopne
man. II have broken off the engage
ment ] have been thinking it over
for long time, and I've come to the
conclusion that a girl who can love
an idiot like me must be wanting In
both taste and Intelligence"
Father-in.Law--r suppose you are
aware, Henry, that the check for $40
600 put among your wedding pres
ents was merely for effect. Groom
Oh, yes, sir! and the effect was excel
lent. The bank cashed II this morning
without question - Boston Tran
script
irate Woman--These photographs
OF myself and husband are not at all
satisfactory, and ! refuse to accept
them. Why, my husband looks like a
balloon Photographer Wen. that's
no fault Of mine, madam. You should
have thought OF that before you had
him taken.
"a
worthy college graduate ! presume
you have some fine young man in your
senior class?' Sure" said the pro
fessor. What are your requirements?
Would football player suit you. or
do you prefer mandolin expert?"-
Washington Herald
Proud Autumn" Father Bless me.
IT'S really marvellous about that baby
Of mine. YouH hardly credit it. but
every time it looks up into my face it
smiles positively smiles The Fed
up" Friend-Well / suppose even a
baby has some glimmering sense OF
humOr.-The Sketch.
Johnny" said the boys mother, Il
hope you have been nice, quiet boy
at school this afternoon" That's
what / was" answered Johnny. Il
went to sleep right after dinner. and
hn col h. la,