Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1910-07-27
GILLIAN ON TEETHING.
Aumorist Uses Incident in Own Family
as Basis for Story.

Strickland w. Gillian. (Finnigin)
the clever newspaper man of Balti-
more, who delighted a large audience
at the chautauqua grounds Tuesday
night with his program of quaint and
homely humor, sees the things of ev-
eryday life and makes the most OF
them in his profession.
Gillian has a boy-he IS 10 months
old-and this, his second summer, is
being devoted to cutting his back teeth.
The little fellow, Burdette Strickland
Gillian, (for Bob" Burdette), has been
fussing 5 most babies do with their
teeth, and Mrs Gillian has been de-
voting much OF her letters TO the de-
tails of the teeth cutting episode. The
news paper instincts OF the father i'm
mediately sought the recital as the
basis COR story, and TO his paper, the
Baltimore Evening Sun, TO which Mr..
Gillian contributes a half column of
most readable stuff daily, he sent the
following on When Teeth Come"
which appeared a few days ago:
There may be more soul searching
jobs than helping closeherd a toothinS
or teething baby But L can't believe
il. After one has subbed on that beat
for While he could undertake the
presidency OF the United States with
out fear or trembling. and make a bet
ter job Of it than a large fat man I am
too tired to name.
a yearling baby some meddIing
physician God bless HIND once left
at our house. is incubating fangs rap
idly. He did plain teething for while,
then undertook some fancy stunts. He
became so interested in it that he
worked nights. He figured that if it was
so much bother cutting one nibbler. he
might as we'll get them over by cut
ting a whole battery at once. We all
see his mistake. He was as far off IN
his logic as is the person that tells you
three children are no more bother than
one; or, as that other liar Chad cess to
himD who tells young fellows two
can live as cheaply as one
The baby began trying to cut three
1nolars, six incisors. five bicuspids, an
eye-tootll and seven or eight stomach
teeth all at one time. While I felt
he was undertaking TOO much. 1 didn't
demonstrate with him. 1t runs in our
family to overwork, and besides l do
not think It right TO discourage a child
in its first legitimate enterprise. CUT
ting teeth is honest, tho degrading
work. Besides, I couldn't stop him.
"A baby cutting such covey Of
teeth AT once hates everybody who hac
anything to do with getting him into
this mundane muddle.
Caring for teethers makes one peeve
a bit Especially when you stick to the
JOB for about six hours at dog-watch,
without letting up. For Instance:
You've walked the floor with him;
You've shifted him from one side to the
other, back to tunlmy. tunmy to back;
from your right shoulder TO your left;
given him untold drinks of water;
wiped his nose eight hundred times;
forced bi-hourly doses Of goo-ey dope
down his reluctant throat and sponged
from Your clothes the goo that should
have gone down his poor little perse-
cuted neck you've ma7le bluff at
feeding him. made him as comfy a
possi bIe. put him to bed; patted his
little rump and snug Ninety and Nine
clear thru fifty times or so; he has
surrendered and feigned sleep TO keep
from hearing you sing; you have turned
out the light and crept away, every
nerve tense and q Yell suppressed with
an effort. Then. when you've craWied
into your own bed and think that's the
finest place n the whole world or the
next life. and have let Your tired head
fall on the pillow, YOU stretch out your
left leg, luxuriously, and your foot
knocks from the bed large box Of
talcum powder 1t sounds like paw
/ ing stone dropping on bass drum
And Your hypnosis has to rebegin on
I the waiing patient in the crib.
The man who goes thru that and
doesn't m squote scripture IS a saint
even now And the peevingest thing
about il all is that you know that when
that confounded little rascal gets to be
about 10 or / years Gid. having for
gotten the agony you and he had in
( getting those teeth, he VIII take great
/ pleasure in cracking hickory nuts with
| them. and think he's smart when ne
does it,