davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-08-26

Surgeon ". SEAMsE, commissioned
surgeon from November D. BAG
Surgeon Z. r RICHARDSON. commits
stoned surgeon from December Is.
Passed Assistant Surgeon A. z. LIE.
commissioned passed assistant sur
EeOn IN the navy from May 9. 1872
Acting Assistant Surgeon W H HAL
SEF. duty Naval Hospital. Norfolk,
and report examination for promo
lion.
Acting Assistant Surgeon O J. NIL
LERr Cuty Naval Hospital Wash
ington, co examination for promo
ton
acting Assistant surgeon J J.
LYNCH. duty Naval Hospital. BOs-
ton Mass TO examination for pro-
motion
acting Assistant Naval Surgeons z.
J. WOODLAND and J. Y HOW
s-ED, dIty Naval Hospital. Phila-
delphia Pa 10 examination for
promotion
Actinc Assistant Surgeon C. c
HIGHTCWER. duty Naval Hos
piJal, New York y Y, 20 eNamina-
ton for promotion
Acting Assistant Surgeon Z. P HAL
TON, duty Naval Training Station.
Newport, TO examination for pro
motion
Acting Assistant Surgeon a. l. IA
CODY, duty Naval Hospital, New
port. 10 examination for promo
Acting Assistant Surgeon ". E
EATON. duty Naval Hospital Bos-
ton, 20 examination for promotion.
FsymzsLeT G. BROWN. IL, detailed
duty as accounting officer. navy
yard Puget sound, but continue
other duties
Paymaster T. H TRTCOC. connie
stoned payrnaster from January I,
1919.
Chief Boatswain T NJ CASSIDY.
commissioned chief boatswain
from August o. 1903
Chief Roa tssvain J. GLASS. commits
stoned chief bOatswain from May
Is. 1915
Cable from tie Commander in Chief.
L s Asiztic Fleet. dated Yokohama,
Japan, August =. 1910
Ensign H n COOLEY, Assistant Sur
geon z p HUFF. duty Charleston;
To duty New York
Captain b " SIBLEY, L 3 NJ c.,
duty as feet marine officer. L s
Asiatic Fleet, or New York
Midshipman F c OWERFIND- Md
sEipEdn J n DEEM. lIidShipnan
l. TOWNSEND. Jr-, detached duty
New York, 20 duty Rainbow
EnSls-n J 3 HOWELL, duty command
Adder 20 duty Naval Academy
MOVEMFNTc 0E VESSELS
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-08-26
MOVEMENTS OF VESSELS.

-7lusSer. and ParaD-
SEQ Al Norfolk. Tennessee, Montana
and North Carolina at Portland
Wolverine at Port Huron.
SAILED-Patuxent. Boston 20 Southern
drill grounds. BTUtus, Portsmouth,
y. H, 20 Hampton Roads.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-08-26
HELP WANTED-FEMALE


GIRL-Nest to assist in horsework and care
for 4-year-old child 81 11th ST s.
GIRL FOR general houseTork- Call al once
noe & z
yEGETA Bile GIRLS white, SIS month.
girls. cLlored, housework, SIS month BELL
AGENCY. 100 81 y. "
CATHOLIC GIRL n printing Office: one
who is not afraid q work 30 IN s.
OFFICE GIRL-8Iust be quick and have
good memory Address BOX 5. Tines o.
nee.
YOUNG GIRL 20 nurse baby and help
around house IL MaTyland ave. y =
YOUNG GIRL TO learn 70 assert and wrap
bundles Apply TOLAAN LAUNDRY, SIN
and SIS y "
HOUsEWORKER- General: ors can cook
101f 18th st X W
OLD LADY fo- light work round house
ana 70 mind baby 900 20 ae 4nT 81
treatment g T HUNTER il5 Pa ave
wANTED-LadIes. ven dressed. for pleas
ant profitable work Room g, l5a Q y
v.
PREssER -FiTsT-cIsss On ladies' garments.
r A REEVES. go ga st y W
EXPERIENCED
MILLINERY
SAL ESWOMAN
paid. Apply HECHT & COMPA NY. 5Is-515-
81 eth 81
ALESWO8fA N-Experienc for infants
and girls department Apply JULIUS
GARFISKLE & CO, 17rh and sts.
SKIRT HANDS-FITst-class. only those SC
custorned 10 work for ladies' tailor can Sc
cure good position lcng season 20 18th
Va TTR Experienced Apply SO Pa.
ave. TOLEDO CAFE
WATTREssEs-TyFo exDerienced. STEADY
places RADY'S CAFE. 6Js Pa ave
WOMAN 20 wash. iron ana other work, no
cooking in country near electric cars good
wages. CAL 1853 Kenyon ST. y W. sat
from 20 I , N
WOMAN-White as cook Z120 1T3th s.. y
". or phone Col 210s-
Respectable settled white. as
manager reference required Apply Sos
I2tE y "
WOlIAN-Elderly white OF C0-OTed. TWO IN
family. must make home with same light
work. BOX e. Times Office.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-08-26
WORKINGMEN3S WANTS

WORkINGaEN-The expenses OF all bust
ness IS paid BY the hustlers OF the elbow
grease. so go slow. see 20 save the
dough" on slightly used coat. vest. pants.
hats. shoes quick or you lose; one price.
IrSTH'S Old STAND. 80 D
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-08-26

PERSONAL
SIGNS signs SIG~S- Have y0u seen
our handsome gin ssin5oE-letteringz
Attractive. Durable
1-iu- letter. ------l5c each.
Sin. let-e-s---.-.1lC each.
Drop card fcT man with samples ~ our work
METALLIC SIGN CO. lZ57 Morse
w J. COLVILL-ES latest book Ancient
Mystery and Modern EeEeiall1n.'' with
others OF his WORKS and any other books
pertaining 70 spiritual works. For sale b.
MISS r. IL YOUNG agent srh and East
Capitol SIS Phone Lincoln 81s5-
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-08-26
HELP WANTED-MALE

HELP WANTE0-MALE
xANTED-Baezer BY H BoHNERT. 7Os
AichlsaR ave, BToOk-snd-
BARBER-White. 81 guaranteed: $50 for
saturday Il5 sth 81 5 z
BARBER-whits- J. DUNCAN. No Rain
Ter. Ad-
BARBER-Good pay and snort hours 1Ss5
= = =
BOT-Colored. as porter Apply NEW YORK
Az ENTE PHAR1LACX, y Y ave and
North Capitol
BOY-wf ice. about IS 20 work in cablnet
shop must be honest and willing 70 wO-k.
no cigarette hen1s or trlners- WALTER >.
SO F st y "
BOY-White. in 5eWelry shop III F ST. y
W. % floor
BOY-APpreutice fa- bread. experienced
L-ANMAN.s BAAEH1- 80 e - y =
BoY-CeIorea. 10 80 general work room
SIMPSON. 1Es5 Meridian 81. NJ p sssa1t-
CABINET BAKERS and upho.sterers; ex-
perier-ed- Apply 10 Manager WOOD
WAED & LOTHROP-
CARPENTE RS-About q. good- Apply G.
between south Capitol ard Half 81. :. ".
See Foreman
CARPENTERS 10 SCI StuddfuE and lay sub
focrs- Gail at 231h and Ashuezd p al
ConnecticuJ Ave Bridge
COAL PASSER-Cc-orsd So and board
E1lCCen lreTIlals c1llTel- Ll0UEl- BELL
AGENCY. 100 81 y "
DIsHWASHERs. buffers.
15SS llth 81 y W
ENGINEER for night who can furnish good
reference apply % Manager Of the Con
cord
FIREMEN-Tvo. 5-hour shifts. s. lzth and
FIREMAN for hotel kitchen. SO at once
FISHERS AGENCY. AZ 1oth 81
take care o. cows must be good mixer
good home and Eood wages 20 right man
CLAYTON, 6ta and Irving SITS y E
KAN on dairy farm white preferred. JOHN
Y DORR- 2th and BladeEsburg road
COUNTER Man and help for hoteI today.
BURGESS HOTEL AGENCY. 5o3 Ioth-
YOUNG Man 70 clerk IN grocery store %
I1th ST y z
I HAVE MONEY % invest in the auto1no-
bile business and want a young man. pref
eTably with experience IN automobile col
leze business, 10 Join with me- must fur
nish references and be q practical autono-
bile man able 70 lecture md demonstrate
II you Go not possess this ability DO not
reply address BOX p Tines Once
COUNTER MEN-whIre. best hours ana
wages. THE CROWN LUNCH, I41I y.
= eN
NEAT CLERK-Experiencsd for retail store
Apply at once, SEQ Louisiana ave
MAS-C7Iored. to work around bar room
20 Pa ave
MANAGER for indusrriaI insurance com
panys must be reliable. sober, and ener-
getic. Correspondence treated confidential
BOX =. Times Office
PAINTERSSsveraI drst-cIass coach and
automobile painters 5 J MEEKS SONS.
81 e 81 y. "
PLUMBER
Apply zsI2 IGth ST y. ".
s0s 18th =. y w
ESSER-Immediatels. REED. 81 81
y W
PRESSER and cleaner must be frst-cIsss
ladies' and gentIeu1en's garments A
T. WATSON IS0S 9 ST y W
SALESNAN-Gcod easy money for hustler.
pay every evening Apply a n, S6S Pa
ave y "
RUG SALESMAN-E<perisnc Apply 70
Manager WOODWARD & LOTHROP.
WANTED-RaiIway mail clerks; Washing
ton examination November =; $500 to 81. 500,
preparation free FRANKLIN INSTITUTE.
Dept SIT, Rochester. y Y
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-08-26
FOR RENT-ROOMS
Unfinished.

FAIR8IONT ST y W, 71-Taree rooms
-and bath separate gas meter kitchen hzs
coal range, So
ST. ST y W. Is54-Thrse rice rooms and
hath second floor newly papereds Light
hogsekseping permitted
9Th ST y W I51EThree rooms newly d
pered and painted- no children
ST y W, 1e-Fcr rent Sd floor far OF
8 unfinished rooms sink in kitchen; 10
ee5 go water, heat gas ana bath. cheap
10TH ST y W U-Thres uarrlrnfsheI
rooms and bath price SIC
sTH ST y w IS-Three unfu~uishe5
rooms with hall large closets newly pa
Pered; light housekesPing Il preferred
K ST y Z, zO2-Three nice unfurnishe5
roonlsi SFail family 5000 neighb0rhOod-
G ST. EsI-Tvc large communicating unfur-
nished for light housekeepinE5 one fur-
nished. reasonable
ST. y. W, I5Is-Three rooms. second fo5--
southern exposure hea-. Eas. light house
keeping
BRENTWOOD AVE y e zsu-Six ro51ls7
private bath. gas. hOr-waIsr heat
WILLIS
ST y W. I212-Bright rooms bathroom
floor separately or en- suite
D ST y w Zzs-Tl7ee large. cool. com
UunicatilE rooms suitable FOR light house
keepiI.g5 slI-Ely OF en suite retso1ahie-
L 81 n ". IOs-Three large. communi-
eating rooms. first floor; light Housekeeping
II desired. singly OF en- suite
ST y W, s12-Large, Communicating
rooms. near bath: light ho1sekesPinS5
singly or en- suite reasonable
18Th ST. y W. 12l3-La-ge front room !
windows, . facing II St. facing 18th s.:
/ eFD1e-rra
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-08-26

% ST. 5l7-Large cool rom water or sane
floor. Light Housekeeping or Sleeping: rea-
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-08-26
FOR RENT-R00MS

run MEN
Furnished and UNFINISHED.
nth ST. : E. I35-TWo nice rooms. -
floor. ali improvements: for light house keen
ing private family reasonable.
nth ST. y W. Io1o-Furnished and unfur-
uished rooms
I'd ST. y. E. I3-Two large rooms and kffeb-
enette; steam heat; hot water and bath
3 ST S E. lS7-Furnished or unfurnished
rooms. light Housekeeping
WAHTED-ROOMS
WANTED-A furnished room near National
Hotel. must b cheap Address stating
price BOX =. Times Office
WANTED-R5om OF room and board: from
the South. here all alone address BOX
9, Times office
WANTED-Young man in Government ser
vice desires room and beard II possible II
private family until spring. State particu-
ss-s. BOX q. Tines offcs-
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-08-26
SITUATIONS WANTED.

BY MIDDLE-AGED MAN. position as clerk.
watchuan. or collector Address DR.
SAMUEL r LINN. Highland SD.
YOUNG NAN desires position as a valet
arst-cIaSs references white BOX g, Times
Office
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-08-26
TAlL0RS
FLOOR OILS

c T HUNTERS Sanitary Dust-kiIIing
Floor Oil keeps the floors clean and brieht
gives them polished finish Good for your
furniture. Try il SOC gallon delivered.
Phone Main 5f5s- once rs Pa ave y
W. Washington. D. C. L 5 A Used BY
last ID years
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-08-26
WANTED-ROOMS & BOARD

BY TCUSG IAN room and board IN pri-
vste family, convenient 70 WASHINGTON
Circle. BOX 1s. Times ofdce.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-08-26

ST y W 7Us-Lsrge and small rlsoe.-
furnished rooms. permanent OF transient
central. rea eonahIc
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-08-26

Continued from First Page3
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1910-08-26

9 ST s7-LaCe double parIors, also com
n1unicatiuE ro1u- suitable for parties OF
two ali near hath
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-02
NATURALIZATION.

Naturalization is the imposition by
international agreement of perpetual
neutrality over land and water writes
Cyrus F. Wicker in the September At
lantic. Its purpose is the removal of
objects of international dispute by plac-
ing them forever outside of the realm of
war, which is lessened by their extent
Since the congress of Vienna in 1915,
naturalization has maintained Switzer-
land in independence, integrity, and I'M
violated neutrality to the present day.
In 1881 the same protection was extend
ed to Belgium, and in 1867 to Luxem-
bourg, with what effect in reducing the
burdens of defense and minimizing the
danger line of invasion any garrison
card of the German or French army
will show. Permanent neutrality was
applied first to entire states lying be-
tween hostile neighbors, but soon it was
recognized that points of dispute be-
tween nations and objects of attack in
time of war were no longer in great
part the territories of states themselves,
but provinces and colonial possessions,
and, most of all, the commercial ad-
vantages resulting from the exclusive
possession of these. There followed the
naturalization of Savoy. the Ionian Is
lands, the Basin of the Congo, and
finally the permanent neutrality of the
SueZ canal as an international water
way. In naturalization has lain a rem
edy ready to our hand of which we have
only slowly realized the power. In re-
moving lands and waterways forever
from the field of possible war we may
effectively check the growing menace
OF militarism, renew the abandoned
work of disarmament, and meet the
needs even of the armed and colony
holding nations of today"
And why wouldn't it be a good plan
to neutralize the Panama canal and it's
surrounding territory? In this way the
United States could save untold mill
lions of dollars which will otherwise be
needed to fortify this great property
and protect it from injury and de-
struction at the hands of a hostile DOW
er.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-02
TOBACCO IN KANSAS.

A former resident of Kentucky, Col
onel Sharpe, who is now a merchant at
Coffeyville, induced some of his farmer
friends in Montgomery county to ex-
pertinent this year with growing q high
grade of tobacco. He and they are en-
thusiastic over many of the results
that have been attained. 1t is his opin-
ion, and he is an expert in the prem
Uses. that the soil in several sections
of Kansas will produce just as good to-
bacco as can be grown in Kentucky
where some of the finest tobacco in the
United States is raised. In parts of the
Bluegrass state, the White Burley to-
bacco. the kind used in Montgomery
county for the experiments of this
year, produces an average yield worth
$275 per acre. Nor is Montgomery
county the only one IN the state where
tobacco can be grown with success. In
and around Leavenworth they are
growing considerable tobacco these
days. And the weed" flourishes like
the proverbial green bay tree in at
least one section of Shawnee county,
that in the vicinity of Oakland, where
a couple of small patches of tobacco
are doing wonderfully well this year
1t would appear, therefore, that to-
bacco raising is something which is
worthy of the serious attention IF
Kansas farmers. Their corn, their
wheat and their other crops stand them
in good stead each year. but if they
can grow tobacco successfully they
ought not to ignore the opportunity. A
farm with a large diversity of crops is
the one from which there is always a
steady revenue, for there is seldom
any year in which all crops fail. A
good tobacco crop, also, is of far great
er proportionate value per acre than
the best of corn and wheat crops. Tho
only thing that approaches it in this
respect is alfalfa, and that scarcely
gets half way.
With tobacco added to the staple
crops of Kansas, more and more wealth
will be developed within the borders Of
the state each year. That will add to
the prosperity of the state and it's peo-
Pile This is something worth striving
for. even if prosperous times prevail
under present conditions. Just because
the farmers of Kansas are doing fine
with wheat, corn, alfalfa and other
sterling crops that is no good reason
why another should not be added. 1t
seems perfectly feasible to add to-
bacco Why not do so?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-02

the catch-alls for the settlement of
about every other kind of a question
that arises in the country either be-
tween individuals or between persons
and states or the nation. Such does
not seem to be the case, although the
reason for it is not clear.
No one ever thinks of questioning the
right of the postoffice department in
any particular unless it be to put in a
defense to a criminal charge of using
the mails for improper purposes, ac-
ccTding to the rules which the post
office department sees fit to lay down.
There are no grounds for contention that
the mails should be used for any kind
of a purpose that is not purely legiti-
mate and proper. But there are good
grounds for exceptions being taken to
some Of the decisions of the postoffice
department. And If there is no method
now by which such exceptions can bs
taken to the courts, one certainly
should be provided as the Kansas Pro-
hibitionists insist.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-02
FOR A COURT REVIEW.

Tucked away in the platform adopt
ed by the Kansas Prohibitionists 1t
their recently held party council is a
plank urging the adoption of legisIa-
ton, or creating a modus operandi,
which will make possible a court re-
view of decisions made by the post
office department. There would appear
to be much to recommend it.
If there is one arbitrary and some
times tyrannical power in the govern
mental affairs of this nation it is that
exercised by the postoffice department..
The rulings and decisions of the post
master general in the conduct of this
service, including what shall go
through the mails and what shall no.,
appear to be laws unto themselves.
For the most part this power has been
exercised with care and discernment
and for the general good. But occs.-
sionally there have been decisions and
rulings which are oppressive. And
there really seems to be no way in
which an appeal may be taken from
such edicts and their actual validity
tested.
Under the form of government which
prevails in this land the natural con-
clusion would be that If the postoffice
department makes a ruling which is
not acceptable for good and sufficient
reasons to the person or persons OF
the business interests it affects, the
matter could be taken to the courts
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-02
THE oLDTTNfE CAMP MEErING.

THE OLDITAIE CAMP MEETING.
How dear to my heart is the fond recol-
OF the old time campmeeting. though
years have gone by:
When saints praised their Lord and sin
And the power. on the people came down
from the sky.
The preachers were fearless in sin de-
And pictured the doom of the sinner in
hell;
While sinners received the great message
with trembling,
And down at the foot of the cross
quickly fell.
Not long were they there, for they cried
unto Jesus,
Who says: Come to me and your sins
I'll forgive;''
The power, of Gods Spirit soon fell on
And the Spirit bore witness their sins
He forgave.
Then the singing and shouting around
that encampment
Soon swept ali before it like fire in the
wind,
And the Angels before the white throne
Joined the chorus
And o, such rejoicing to God and the
Lamb.
The old-time campmeeting, how memory
StirS me;
Would to God that we only could have
the return;
And once more to hear the great shout
As the shackles fall off and their free
dom is won.
Rev. J. Thomas Price.
Charleston, Md. August 2, 1910.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-02
JAYHAWKER JOTS

The ottawa Republic notes that adj
jacent headlines in a recent issue of
the Lawrence Journal read: Reading
Harry Kemp's Book" Zip in the
Hospital
The Lawrence Gazette sees no use
in proving and reproving that DR.. Cook
is a liar. The Gazette calls attention
to the fact that he has never denied
the charge.
Attention is called by the Hutchin-
son News to the fact that this is the
time of year when the proud woman
is the one who has put up several
hundred "cans."
vent a contrivance for a woman to
button her own dress in the back.
Every married man will buy one, and
your fortune will be made.-Greenleaf
Sentinel.
A whack at mans conceit from the
Chanute Tribune: eff you. Mr.. Man,
think you are so vastly the superior of
mere woman. put on a hobble skirt
and a pair of high heeled shoes and see
how long it will take you to walk a
foot and half.
zone of those sad. vet unavoidable
accidents that. at times. visits every
community, occurred in Beloit last
night" reports the Call. "a stranger
was walking near the Union Pacific de-
pot at the time mentioned above, when
he stumbled over some obstruction in
his path and fell in such way as to
sustain the complete fracture of three
pint bottles of whisky. which he held
in his arms"
son the square, the Hutchinson
Gazette quotes a friend as saying, 81
would rather get 'hitched' in the good
old fashioned way when the parson
said his ceremony without frills, and
some good dame played a tune on the
organ than TO mix in all the foolish
ness that attends a latter day society
wedding. The old kind generally
stick, while the new make business for
the divorce courts"
How many young men are learning
trades outside of the penitentiaries
asks the Lawrence Journal. That
question has been raised and the re-
ply is not so many as inside. This is
a deplorable condition. There never
was such a demand for skilled labor
as there is now. Skilled workmen
command big wages and steady jobs.
skilled labor and the prices are bound
to be low.
Even bugs have some sense, says the
Ottawa Herald. and 1t proceeds to sus-
tain this contention: A bunch of men
in the Herald office were watching a
strange looking. bright colored, fuzzy
worm crawl hot-foot across the tele-
graph page of a paper this morning.
Suddenly the freak insect halted dead
still with his nose, If bugs have noses.
planted upon the paper at the begin
ming of the name Gen. Maxine
Gomez" in a dispatch. The men at
once became superstitious and they
are talking of starting training
school for insects with this particular
fuzzy specimen as instructor. They
figure that no bug could pronounce
that name.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-02
Privilege of His Rank.

In the carly days of the Philippine
insurrection, Capt. MS company had
been for some time garrisoning a
small town in Mindanao where the
social life consisted mainly of evading
the festive bolo knit welded by the
lit brown brother. Therefore he
seized upon the occasion of his BIRTH
day to vary the monotony by brewing
a punch, and invited his two Iieuten-
ants to assist in its consumption. At
late hour the party broke up, and
after some maneuvering Capt. M. polot
ed his junior subaltern to his room,
where he found the first lieutenant
peacefully sleeping on the floor be-
meath his bunk. Shaking him violent
ly, he reused him at last, and said:
Get up into your bed
The senior sulbaltern shook his
head, ooked very grave, and answered,
Indignantly:
mo. sir! No, sir You let shecond
ptenant take upper berth. I'm a first
ftenant and get lower berth one,,
and he peacefully turned his face to
the wall again.-August Lippincott's.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-09-02
QUAKER NEGOTIATIONS.

lFrom the Philadelphia Record.l
Only the successful man doesn't be-
lieve in luck.
The waiter who spurns a 25-cent tin
should be given no quarter.
The blind man has no sense of sight.
but he may have a sight of sense.
1t requires almost as much force of
character to be a book agent as to turn
one down.
Life is full of unsatisfied wants. If
you don't believe it, look at the classi-
fled advertising pages of the newspa-
pers.
Every cloud has silver lining" re-
marked the Optimist- ''Bu. the clouds
are so far away" complained the Pessi-
mist.
Fat woman-"Has the India Rubber
Man any chiIdren?'' Living Skeleton
'Oh, yes; he's the father OF bouncing
boy"
"a man never knows enough to get
in out of the wet" remarked the phil
osopher with the impressionistic nose,
It'll he swears off,
Nell-"Miss Antique likes to give the
impression that she has had vivid
past" Belief don't imagine it has
been so vivid as 1t has been long"
He-'Won't you promise to marry
me?" She-"On one condition." He
.And that ISL" She-"That you won't
be so silly as to expect me to live up to
the promise"
Blobbs-'"That's a great chorus they
have in the new show at the Hoity
Toighty Theater." Slobbs-..Yes. I
knew the piece would be a success be-
fore the curtain had gone up two feet"