The Washburn leader., 1910-06-03
Clever.
Ruse
But Il Was Very Unexpectedly
Thwa;ted.
By WILLARD BLAkEmAN
Copyright. 1910. by American Press
Association.

On coming home from business i
found my wife in the dumps.
whats the matter. dear" I asked.
''It's all up with u.s.
Bottom dropped out of the uni
verse?'
Worse. Aunt Abigail will have to-
live with us. She's written that her
friend with whom she has had home
is to give up her house the LIST of May,
and that throws her out. am her
only relative, and of course she ex-
poets me to take her in
"She's bit cranky. isn't she?'
Cranky is no name for it."
"Well. We'll have to make the best Of
it."
Aunt Abigail arrived. We had previ-
ously considered our home entirely oul
own. With the coming of our relative
we saw at once that all this was
changed She settled herself down.
with an appearance of permanency
that made my blood run cold.
"Well," she exclaimed. looking about
her. "how did you ever come to build
this house down in a hollow-it must
have been swamp once-when you
could as we'll have put it up on that
hill, where you could see something's"
1--WE live here winter and summer.
Aunt Abigail. Up there we would
freeze in cold weather"
"Freeze. Nonsense. Some people are
always afraid they'll breathe little
fresh air. I'm not. sleep with my
window open. and like to have gale
blowing in right on me. You should
have fronted your house to the south.
II can't stand this. We must get rid
Of her, said to my wife,"
'"ro turn her out would be awful"
1--WE needn't do that. We can fix it
so that she will go of her own accord"
"For heavens sake explain"
"You know the homeopathic princi-
ple-like cures like. Well. my Uncle
Robert is more disagreeabe If that is
possible. than your Aunt Abigail. He
is dictatorial old curmudgeon. with
no respect for any ones opinion but
his own. He is as poor as church
mouse. living in miserable room in q
rookery by himself. He amuses him
self abusing his neighbors from his
window and shying anything he can
| get his hands on at the cats. Now, 1t
has occurred to me to bring him here
as foil for your aunt. She can't pos
sibly endure to stay in the house with
such a man. and when she's gone I'll
find a way to get rid of Uncle Robert
Perhaps they may both 60 to get rid
Of each other"
"Your plan seems rather impractical
BILE to me. Billy. but have good deal
of confidence in those roundabout ways
of yours. Suppose we try it?"
So wrote Uncle Robert offering
home temporarily and. if he liked it.
as long as he lived. He accepted eager
ly. and it was not long before be was
down upon us bag and baggage.
my dear boy" he exclaimed. pat
ting me on the back. 'how you do re-
mind me of your father. He and
were inseparable as boys. and I've car
ried you on my shoulder often. And
to think that I'm to have home with
you: Put me anywhere A garnet is
good enough for broken down old
codger like me. Phew! Somebody's
been smoking here. Do you smoke?
How hate tobacco! 1t makes me
sick.''
II won't smoke any more in the
house since you've come. uncle." said.
''Oh. don't mind me. can stand
anything: got to stand it. I've made
dead failure Of life and don't deserve
anything else. You don't mind my
opening the window. do you-just to
let the odor out?"
"Fanny has a bad cold. you know"
"Just the thing to cure her. Let her
breathe the cool air of heaven" II
| Up went the window and out of the
room went Fanny. Half an hour after
my uncle arrived dinner was announc-
/! ed. was watching our guests when
they entered the dining room. 1t was
like dog and cat at first catching
sight of each other. Both seemed to
crouch for an encounter. Neither
spoke to the other for some time after
taking seats at table. Then remark
Of Uncle Roberts rutiled Aunt Abigail.
| "This women's voting craze he
was beginning. 81
"Voting what. sir?"
"Craze. madam" raising his voice. III
"I'm not deaf. heard you well
enough. object to you calling wom-
ans suffrage craze" ;l
"Are you an advocate Of woman's
suffrage. MADAME" %
| II most assuredly am"
81 believe in any one who advocates
a principle standing by that principle
and not attempting to straddle"-
s'Sir!'' ,3..a .5. II, 81
'sThat Is, to equivocate or knuckle
down, defending the cause with all
his or her strength. Per contra. re-
serve the same privilege for myself.
Woman's suffrage consider the most
abominable. diabolical. illogical rot
| that was ever sprung on a Christian
| people. "a ss35
.'.And l consider 1t one Of the holiest
causes''
'sAunt Abigail" interposed my wife.
do let me help you to this little bit;
OF wing. You're not eating enough to
II Rx.~x1 r,.n