davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Regarding Domestic Extravaganza


'One does not have to be a political
economist or a particularly wise man to
know that increasing extravaganza In our
mode of living has some direct relation
to the financial unrest CT the country
said a prominent business man who is
known to possess ample wealth to live in
fine style.
"Of course, only a superficial observer
would say that domestic extravaganza
alone was the cause of those unsatsfac-
tory conditions that arise from time ia
time in the financial world. Many things
concur to bring about periods of de-
-over-production, monopolies, too
much political agitation, wild speculation
and what not. But with thousands and
thousands of people of small means lux
uries have taken the place of the mere
comforts of life. Our civilization has
reached higher planes and has become
more and more complex. Domestic ex-
travagance is certainly being felt in a far
reaching way. 1t is all right for the rich
to spend money lavishy. 1t is one of the
ways The millionaires can help trade. But
for men of limited incomes to live on a
rich mans scale is hurtful not only to
the individual but to the body polite.
Some of the financial journals are
pointing to the automobile as one of the
causes of financial stringency and fever
ish social life. The automobile lis a grea.
institution; is a real blessing In its place.
But thousands of men buy high-prced
machines who cannot afford either the
original cost or the cost of maintenance
have an automobile for which l paid
several thousand dollars, and the cost
of running it-ineluding insurance oil,
chauffeur wear and tear-has been at
the rate of 5000 a year. l do not fret
about the cost Ny wife enjoys the au-
tomobile and 1 enjoy 1t because it gives
her pleasure But 10 or u years ago wife
and l rode in the street cars, having no
other conveyance. We were saving money
then. I am not much of hand to lecture
people but I do believe that all of us.
rich and poor alike, might do we'll to
cultivate the simple life occasionally--fof
wholesome discipline, if for no other re9
son."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30
Did IT Ever Happen to You.

II heard friend of mine say this morn
ing said an auto enthusiast, ito a
neighbor who had just purchased an au-
tomobile, that to enjoy the machine -
must be prepared to part with his money,
time and religion.
II suppose this in sense is true, as
every one who has ever owned car
could relate some trying experience. Many
times it is a matter of small importance
that causes the novice to fume and sweat
and sometimes 'cuss.'
'I remember on one occasion l was out
with couple of friends. We had BUSH
HESS at trrr cur rrrvusr. Leaving rne ma
chine in the street, we went in and trans
acted our business, and on our return my
friends got in the car while I proceeded
to- crank the machine 1 cranked few
times. but there was nothing doing. I
looked over the machine carefully. Every
thing seemed all right, and 1 cranked
some more. In fact, literally wore my
self out cranking.
About this time one of my friends vol
unteered his services He seized the
crank handle with an air of watch me do
~ ne euiHeu tiie cfahk one Tune and 1t
jumped back and gave him a kick that
nearly broke his arm. He quit right there.
My other friend, who was a wise old owl
seeing me in a sweat and the other fell
low nursing his arm, suggested we SEMI
to nearby garage for a mechanic. We
acted on his suggestion.
The man came, and after a few pre-
liminary adjustments, said, WHARF, is
your spark plug?' Immediately I tum-
bled. On leaving the machine | took the
spark plug from the battery box and
put 1t in my pocket, and it was still there.
handed it to the man with a sheepish
air. He chuckled, and OF course started
the engine, and to tell the truth I am still
setting them up to my two friends,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30
lSus Figures on Membership In Congress

ne rate of increase in the District of
umpia fell from 81 per cent in the de-
lie ended With the census of 1900 to Is
cent in theNdecade Just COMPLETED.
is thought thai, similar decrease in
population movement will he disclosed
the south-that, to beNdefinite, the gain
: u be but 1863 per cent as, against gain
POL per cent in the decade between
3. and 1900.
The provisional estimate of the census
a1reau gives Alabama population Of
1892, and the population of the en-
}'te south is put at 27,526,772. There are
! pse who believe that the south, includ-
! Maryland and West Virginia and the
strict of Columbia holds $4,000, 900 peo-
Z }. and the actual count is expected to
hold this belief.
lhe provisional population figures need
I greatly concern US, for we will soon
I've the results of the actual count from
which there IL no appeal. Long before
Congress meets In December the popula-
hon of every state will be made known,
Ind Congress will have no more impor-
ant work before 1t than the adoption of
} new ratio for congressional representa-
Ion. At present this ratio is 194,1s2. If
his ratio is to stand. the House would
consist Of 4b7 members. an increase Of ss.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30
Say. Admission Wants Dispensary

THE people of Admission want dis
pensary," said ]. B. Shelnut of that city,
who was in Birmingham yesterday. Mr.
Shelnut is exalted ruler of the Ellls'
lodge in that city, and an alderman from
the First ward.
"Prohibitionists in our section have
grown tired of the violations of the law
which are just as numerous in Admission
as In other parts of the state. l have
heard many of them state that they would
never vote for prohibition again.
81 believe the dispensary would carry in
Calhoun county by big VOTE
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30

ture until 1t stood fully analysed and
uncovered. The Sibley campaign ex
pense are a reflection on Pennsylvania
and the primary system, and they would
be Investigated in any state that Is not
machine ruled.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30
SATISFIED

From the Philadelphia Telegraph.
1T is time that Brother Orville created
a record or two He cannot afford to lag
superf1uous In the aerial business. "-Bir-
mingham Age Herald.
Don't worry about Orville, old pal. Judg-
ing from his recent attitude, he knows
when he Is all Wright,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30
on. LTSTEN,

From the Richmond News-Leader.
Atlanta rejoices that she is enjoying
grand opera while Birmingham continues
Ito indulge in nickel-show ragtime.' But
does Atlanta know grand opera when
she hears III
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
Calf love makes veal of marriage.
= The lights never go out on a scandal.
Economizing is easy to begin next
month.
There's hardly anything that can bore
man more than being as nice to his
wife as to other women.
The average man can blame his luck
because he spent his money on theatre
supper when he ought to have bought
clothes with 1t. -
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30

George G. Crawford, president of the
Tennessee Coal, Iron and Railroad COM
pany, returned yesterday from New York.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30
Prosperity in the south

II have had business interests in Texas,
Arkansas and Alabama for several years
past said James e. Wainwright of Chi
cago. land ! have made several trips
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30

Governor Hughes may want to aseer-
tain from the colonel how TO WELD the
Zig stick when his legislature talks again
over his primary reform programme.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30

Hans Wagner begins to feel that he,
too, may aspire to the headship of his
state, for he knows he is better man
than Mr.. Tener ever was.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30
SA FEE.

Don't you like to smell the sawdust
of a circus?"
Yes; I'd rather smell the sawdusi
than drink the lemonade"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30

When Governor Hughes visits the colo-
mel there will be something more doing
than there was when Senator Lodge
butted in at oyster Bay.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30
HAD ALREADY SEEN THE Docro1

HAD ALREADY SEEN THE DOCTOR.
"Oh. dear. I'm afraid you are very ILL.,
exclaimed Mrs. Tripper to Mr.. Tripper,
who as a matter of fact, was suffering
from the after-effects of a superiority
OF highballs. I'll call Or. Flummer'
Don't do it," said Mr. Tripper, be-
fore he thought. II called DR.. Flummer
last night and he had a royal flush"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30

The alumni hold half of the important
positions. a proportion beyond their num-
Der. Cheer up.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30

Neither the housefy nor the mosquito
will be exterminated this year.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30

The Wright brothers spend a part of
each day in their workshop and a part
of II in the office of their LAWYER.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30

The corn is growing so fast in Alabama
that one can hear it crack.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30

Nevada may pass an act prohibiting
prize fights, but she will not do it this
summer.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30

Mary Garden is coming back to her
native land next winter at s1700 per
night.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30

Colonel Roosevelts conspiracy of ST.
lence is very provoking to his warmest
admirers.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30

Mr.. Ballinger can scarcely wait until
September, SO anxious is he to hear the
whtewash splash.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30

Oyster Bay smiles significantly when
Beverly is referred to as the summer
capital.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30

If peace comes in the theatrical world
the fighting will be confined to the ropeG
arena at Reno.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30

Airship and prize fight tickets at $50
each simply serve to emphasize the high
cost of living.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30

Nebraska scored last week in weather.
It's 100 degrees Fahrenheit was the worst
reported temperature.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30

The cold storage men in Newark, n. J.,
have 100000 eggs cached to await higher
prices.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30

The fellow who attempted to bride Sen
ator Gore tackled the wrong tomcat.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30

The insanity experts expect large fees
in the Charlton case, but still they do not
case
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30
CLASS DISTINCTION.

There's Trippy Hawkins" said a
gilded youth in a lobster palace, to his
companion at table, a statuesque blonde.
Il believe I'll ask her to join u.s."
Don't do 1t, if you have any regard
for my feelings" said the statuesque
blonde, with extreme hauteur
"Of course 1 won't, If you object l
thought 1t would be all right. You are
both members of the same chorus, aren't
you?"
Yes; but I'm show girl. Trippy
Ha wilkins La only a .hrniler., >,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30

No one in Illinois has yet ascertained
where the bride money came from.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30
NOT HIS FAD.

Did you ever read hebetudinous
book?'
What kind of book is a hebetudinous
book?''
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30
MIGHT HAVE THo1rGur TT.

MIGHT HAVE THOUGHT 1T.
well, must be going now, although
didn't intend to go so soon.
That's untoward"
What did you say?"
Il said your going so soon was unto
ward
"oh, 1 thought you said, Thank the
Lord s.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30
ANOMALIES.

Everything in this world seems to
have a mission, excepting those mission
table lamps.-Judge.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30
G. BERNARD

DO you admire G. Bernard Shawn" +
Yes; at a distance
You mean?"
IF he were now aboard Halley's comet
I'd admire him a great deal more"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30

A CHEERFUL CHAP.
Any kind o. weather
Seemed to him the best;
Morning made him merry,
Night afforded rest.
Life was not burden
Sooth. how could it be?
Never was a fellow
Loved 1t more than hel
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30
A BETTER BRAND.

Il can't do without matutinal Coffee"
said Mrs. Giltcrest.
Indeed said Mrs. Flubber, with
slight air of superiority. I'VE use
Queen of the Harem."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30

The over-ambitious city will soon ascer-
tain how large 1t is not.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30

Likewise those mission waste-paper
baskets. We know because we bought
one.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30

He kissed her on the q kissing place.
We mean the middle of her face,
Which science says doth harbor germs,
But poets praise in glowing terms.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30
THE TELEPHONE TEST

Nevada is convinced that mere good
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30

,bt thou the stars are fire;
,bt TINT the sun doth move;
Ibt truth to be n liar;
never doubt l love. -Hamie''
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30

pense are renecuon on pennsylvania
and the primary system, and they would
be Investigated in any state that ishot
machine ruled.
-------------------
Governor Hughes may want to aseer-
tain from the colonel how TO WELD the
Zig stick when his legislature talks again
over his primary reform programme.
Hans Wagner begins to feel that he,
too, may aspire to the headship of his
state, for he knows he is better man
than Mr.. Tener ever was.
--.e-.
When Governor Hughes visits the eol5-
mel there will be something more doing
than there was when Senator Lodge
butted in at Oyster Bay.
The insanity experts expect large fees
in the Charlton case, but still they do not
expect to rival the fees paid in the Thaw
case.
The Wright brothers spend a part of
each day in their workshop and a part
of it in the office of their lawyer.
-.s-
Nebraska scored last week in weather.
It's 100 degrees Fahrenheit was the worst
reported temperature.
-.e.--
Mr. Ballinger can scarcely wait until
September, so anxious is he to hear the
whitewash splash
If peace comes in the theatrical world
the fighting will be confined to the ropeG
arena at Reno.
Airship and prize fight tickets at $50
each simply serve to emphasize the high
cost of living.
The alumni hold half of the important
positions, a proportion beyond their num-
Der. Cheer up.
Colonel Roosevelts conspiracy of ST.
lence is very provoking to his warmest
admirers.
Nevada may pass an act prohibiting
prize fights, but she will not do it this
summer.
Oyster Bay smiles significantly when
Beverly is referred to as the summer
capital.
The cold storage men in Newark. N. j.,
have 100000 eggs cached to await higher
prices.
Mary Garden is coming back to her
native land next winter at s1700 per
night
The fellow who attempted to bride Sen
ator Gore tackled the wrong tomcat.
--e.--
No one in Illinois has yet ascertained
where the bride money came from.
Neither the llouse1y nor the mosquito
will be exterminated this year.
The corn is growing so fast in Alabama
that one can hear it crack.
The over-ambitious city will soon ascer-
tain how large it is not.
Nevada is convinced that mere good
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30

Any book on philately."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30
Trippy
A CHEERFUL CHAP.

Yes, but I'm q SHOW gfrl. TrfpI
Hawkins Is only a 'broiler.'"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30
SUSPICIOUS.

SUSPICIOUS.
THAT darned conductor must think
I'm a spotter''
why do you say so?"
when he rang up that last fare he
looked me straight in the eye"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-06-30

"Twiggs must be feeling rocky to-
day."
What makes you think so?"
He told me he had a Crouch that
equaled the compound Crouch of the
Ananias club"
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-03
HER OLD RUBBER DOLL

Tho Rubber Doll whistles. the Rubber Doll
squeaks
The Rubber Doll listens and mutters and
speaks;
1t jumps and 1t tumbles and oft has fall,
But nothing can equal that old Rubber Doll.
hundred times day our little one kisses
ii,
A hundred times day our little one misses
1t,
hundred times day she makes it squall;
And then she catches it and blesses it,
And smoothes 1t and caresses It,
And talks very sternly to her old Rubber
Doll.
The Rubber Doll scolds and the Rubber Doll
squawks,
The rubber Doll whimpers and grumbles
and talks;
1t means and 1t cries with pitiful CALL
But baby just worships her old Rubber Doll.
A hundred times a day our little one signs
for it,
A hundred times day our little cries
for it;
hundred times day she let's 1t fall;
Then she catches 1t and snugs it up,
And drowsily she hugs 1t up,
And drops off to slumber with her old Rub
ber Doll. -Children's Magazine.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-03
ELEPHANT BUILDERS
How the Big and Brainy Beasts
Are Useful to Their
Masters

In tea estates the elephants are occa-
sionally employed to help in building
construction by keeping the masons
supplied with blocks of stone. and if
the wall be not too high they will not
only take the block up, but lay it quite
correctly in it's proper place. Ceylon
elephant used regularly to lay stones
in this sway under the orders of an
overseer, to whom he used to signal to
inspect and pass" the work done and
to give permission for fresh courses to
be laid.
On one occasion the elephant placed
himself against part of the wall, thus
preventing the 'overseer from examin-
ing that part of the job. The latter,
however, insisted on the animal NOV
ing aside and the elephant, seeing his
ruse had failed, at once began to pull
down the wall which ne had just built,
and which he was quite aware was
badly done, at the very spot where he
had tried to conceal it from the eye of
his master.
Burmese shin captain also tells a
story of a female elephant which, while
anchored off the coast, he frequently
saw come out of the jungle to bathe
in the sea, accompanied by her young
ster The little chap used to keep in
the shallow water while the mother
ventured farther out; but one morning,
while his parent was not looking, the
youngster got beyond his depth, be-
came frightened, and made great to-
do. The mother pulled him ashore and
gave him a good spanking with her
trunk. Each succeeding morning the
little one was compelled to stand on the
bank while the mother first bathed her
self and afterward washed him down
with water fetched in her trunk.
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-03
AN INTELLIGENT TOURIST

There are some people who know 1t
all" and others who think they do, and
the latter are apt to make the greatest
show of knowledge. One of this spe-
cies stood near the bow of a Cham
plain steamer one day. He had re-
markably sunburned complexion. he
carried a guidebook in one hand, three
railroad timetables and map in the
other, and he was bursting with lnfor-
nation. Finally, unable to stand it
longer, he approached a small man who
was leaning thoughtfully over the rail.
my friend,' he said impressively, Il
suppose you know that those gray and
fallen walls over there on the west
shore are all that remain of the world
famous Fort Ticonderoga?
Il didn't know it " said the small
man, simply.
well, sir, they are. 1t was on that
spot that the English commander was
called from his bed to surrender in
the name of the Continental congress.
1t was along these Shores" added the
man with the ruddy complexion, way
ing the fluttering timetables oratoric-
ally, that the French and Indians
fought the English Every stone, sir,
is crowded with history"
"Ticonderoga, hey?" said the other,
ref1ectively. DO you live up here?"
mo, l live in New York
Born here, perhaps?"
mo, sir"
'.Travel up and down the lake pretty
often, l suppose?"
"WeI, no." reluctantly admitted the
owner of the guidebOok. This is my
first trip"
"'Tis. hey? Well, I was purser of
this boat for nine years and l know
every foot of that shore. The ruin over
there is Simpsons dock and Ticonder-
oga is nine miles south of here. Any
thing else to tell?"
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-03
WHAT A VETERAN TRAINER
SAYS ABOUT SEALS

The mere spectator usually thinks
that trained seals are the finest pro-
duct of the circus menagerie; but, ac-
cording to an old trainer, whose words
are quoted in the New York Evening
Post, it is a simple trick to teach them
their feats. The cardinal principle is,
not to attempt to make an animal do
anything contrary to the nature of it's
particular species. To be successful,
then, the trainer must know enough
about the habits of the animals to en-
able him to fit the tricks to their needs.
He must not try to make an elephant
climb or lion play the drum.
You begin with one seal, a lot of
little pieces of fish, and a bit of string.
You let the seal sit on his pedestal,
which he likes to do by nature; then
you throw him one of the pieces of
fish. and he naturally and easily
catches it. Next you tie a piece of
fish on the end of your string and
swing it toward the seal; he catches
Los Angeles herald., 1910-07-03
GROWING A NAME

Little Luke Hays could write his
name. He brought his slate to show
his mother what round. clear letters
he could make.
Would you like to make your name
grow, Luke?' said his mother.
"I never saw name grow" said
Luke.
Then his mother took him out into
the garden. She gave him stick with
a sharp point and made him write his
name in large letters in the middle of
a bed of black earth; then his mother
sowed mignonette seed along the let
ters.
Now" said she, din a few weeks you
will see your name growing tall and
sweet"
Luke went away the next day to visit
his grandmother, and when he came
home again, three weeks later he ran
at once to the garden. There was his
name, Luke Hays" in pretty green
letters, just as he had written it. Luke
was delighted and has never failed to
grow his name every year since.-Se3
lected.