Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-08-14
Fakeful and Phony Notions L

over rail fences. They'll gnaw the
grass or the jimson weed right down
three days beneath the soil before
they'll attempt any such a fool BUSH
ness Sheep only jump up, far as
we've ever been able to see, for the
purpose of giving their tails a little
extra wag. And even then they don't
clear the ground by more than two
inches at the utmost. Whatever else
sheep may do. thew do not jump ever
rail fences, and it is sheer rommytot
to expect to have 'em do that for you
when you're trying TO bambOoZle sleep
to come to the edge Of your couch.
However. we've tried it. We tried it
no later than one calorific night about
| a fortni't ago.
We made as many as three sheep
jump over a rail fence whether they
wanted to take the fence or not.
Then the rest of the flock bucked on
They just wouldn't take the fence
They ste ID the other side and re-
fused to take the jump. like lot OF
alleged jumping horses that we used
to back with real gilt money back In
as if they were going to jump. but
then they'd balk and guess again. and
there we were, with only three sheep
on tother side of the fence. and hock
of at least nine million munchiEg val
lery-looking grass on this side of the
fence.
The worst of it was that. no sooner
did it become apparent that none of
the remaining sheep Of the flock was
going to take the jump, than the three
sheep that were on the other side be-
gan to bleat and baWl to get back with
the remainder Of the flock. but to save
not jump back to the field they had
jumped from, and so they kept up
horrible bleating and ba-a-a -ing about
it. and the only thing we could do then
to min ina Gin
blithely toss 'em at the three bleaters.
and after about half an hours difficult
mountaineering work we finally ex-
tirpated the three jumping sheep and
drove them away from the fence.
No sooner had we accomplished this,
however. than the place of the huge
flock of sheep was taken by a gigantic
mock of kangarooS The kangarOoS could
and they did jump over the rail fence.
Some of 'em jumped much as 900 feet
over the top rail of the fence. Often as
many as 2,345 of the flock of kangaroOs
took the rails at the same instant, and
the whole horizon, as far as our troubled
and aching eye or eyes could see. was
cluttered and damned with leaping kan
garoos They made such a picture of
fierce and silly activity that they got
every nerve i'm our person to hopping and
leaping in unison with their jumping
movements, and finally we had to get
up and light the lights and sulk in a
rocker until we annexed a bright idea.
The bright idea was as follows:
We turned out the lights again and
SUNK back to bed and proceeded at once
to think about work. We fastened our
mind on the. idea that it was up to us at
once to get right out of the shucks and
go to work. We placed before our visual
izing apparatus the idea that we were
about four days behind our regular con-
| tract schedule in the matter of furnishing
certain gobs of newspaper copy for va
rious publications for which we write
pieces. We brought right smack before
our mental focus the thought that there'd
be a lot of bother and messiness if we
didn't get right out of the hay that in
slant and lift the lid off our typewriting
machine and proceed to hammer out
stuph.
Thus moved and wrought upon by a
| high and ennObling sense of duty. we
went right off to sleep and slept like a
cute little tred-from-play young un until
| the sun streamed through the curtains.
Wherefore we say that the only way to
WOO bashful slumber is to put the matter
up to your high instinct for duty and
righteousness. and you can't lose.
| CLARENCE l.. CULLEN.