davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1910-10-18
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The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1910-08-18
Ds,oe and Savings Banks.

Though Duncan OF Dutbwell was the
founder of our first say lngs bank, the
first suggestion came from Daniel De-
foe. When he found himself compelled
to hide from the baillffs In small
Bristol Inn he turned his enforced
leisure and financial failure to account
by writing the Essay on Projects" 1t
deals with savings banks, friendly So
cieties, insurance, academies and bank
rupts. On all these subjects Defoe Of
fers from his fertile brain suggestions
that startle the reader by their modern
ring. On bankrupts and savings banks
Defoe naturally wrote with feeling.
During his stay In Bristol he was
known as "the Sunday gentleman"
owing to his natural unwillingness to
take the air except on that day OF the
week which deprived bailitfs of their
sting.-London Chronicle.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1910-08-18
A Benevolent Censor.

A trio of young ladies spent some
weeks last year at an out of the way
village In the mountain region. They
found the village postmaster a quaint
old character. whose ways were as ORR
ginal as they were startling, so that
the daily trip to the postofiice became
q real event.
"ls there any mail for us. majorT
asked one of the young ladies as she
appeared at the window one morning
mo; they amt thing for you all
this mawnin'. Miss Mary" was the re-
ply They wasn't nothin' come for
you but letter that looked like adver-
tisin', an so opened It. and sure
enough II was jest some advertisement
about somethin or other. and ! says
to myself. says |. Now. Miss Mary
don't want to tote such stuff as that
home with her. and so | throwed II In
the waste box Youths Companion.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1910-08-18
An.IauIty Of Shorthand.

Shorthand is apt to be looked upon
as an essentially modern art The
predecessors Of Pitman- Byron in the
eighteenth century. Mason In the sew
enteenth are dim and distant figures
beyond which 1t seems useless to ven
ture Cicero dictated his orations to
his freedman. + Tulllus Trio, and was
hconsolable when temporarily depriv-
ed of bis services. He complained in
letter to friend that, while "Tiro
takes down whole phrases In a few
signs, Spintharus this provisional sub
stitute, only writes In syllables." We
need not. however, suppose that the
"notae Tirouianae" were actually In
vented by the freedman In question.
As NJ. Guenin points out. the Romans
created very few of the arts of peace,
'contenting themselves. as rule. by
copying from the Greeks NJ Guenin.
however, indicates the banks of the
Nile as the cradle of the art.-T. P.'s
London Weekly.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1910-08-18
Snuff and a Crook.

Robert Pinkerton once told u story
Of his father. the founder Of the de-
tective agency, which illustrates the
elder Pinkerton's caution. A noted
criminal was detained In PlnkertoD's
Chicago office. rhe elder Pinkertou
left the room and when he returned
took the precaution of holding re-
volver In front of him ready for use.
He saw the criminal standing by the
door with snuffbox he had picked
up from Plnkerton's desk In his hand
This is good SNUFF" affably re-
marked the crook as he took a sniff.
"For the eyes or the nose?" asked
Pinkerton. who knew that the crook
had intended to blind him In an effort
to escape.
"Well," remarked the criminal. I'm
sorry to say that the nose gets 1t this
time"
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1910-08-18
A Gun Of SUGAR.

A large china cup with handle was
showed across the counter and a child's
voice said. "Ma wants cupful OF
sugar"
The grocer filed the cup, weighed
the sugar, poured It back into the cup
and said. 1.-TWO cents"
To customer who expressed sur
prise at his willingness to sell grocer
les In such small quantities he said:
Have to in this neighborhood. Most
of these people live from meal to meal.
which means that they buy things by
measure instead Of weight Reckoned
by the cupful, the spoonful or the pail
ful, they know Just how much OF any
thing they need. In order to satisfy
both customers and the inspector of
weights and measures we measure
first to suit the trade. then weigh after
ward."-New York Sun.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1910-08-18
Mo Pure Water.

Owing to the extremely solvent pow
ers, pure water is never found In ma
ture. the nearest approach being found
In rainwater. which, as 1t Is formed in
the upper regions Of the atmosphere,
is the purest that nature supplies, but
in descending 1t brings with 1t what
ever impurities are 6oating near the
surface, which In the neighborhood Of
cities are always numerous; hence per-
fectly pure water Is hardly to be found,
even the artifcially distilled being only
approximately so.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1910-08-18
Appjus Claudius.

Appius Claudius, surnamed Caecus
(the blind, was a Roman statesman
who lived during the third century be-
fore the Christian era. He was Ro-
man censor. 312 to 30S. and consul.
307 to 298. He commenced the APP
plan way and completed the Appian
aqueduct. From his Roman juris-
prudence, oratory. grammar and Latin
prose date their beginning. He abol-
ished the Limitation OF the full right
of citizenship to landed proprietors.
In bis old age he is said to have be-
come blind. whence his cognomen
"Caecus." He was the author Of
works In both prose and verse, Of
which almost nothing is known.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1910-08-18
Knew What He We. poiro

Booky from whom old gent has Just
received 8 sovereigns at 4 to h.
Now. then. Santa Claus, what are you
biting 'em for? Do you think I'd give
you wrong uns? Old Gent-Noa. lad.
dy, it's no that; I'm just making sure
that haven't got that one back which
passed of on thee!-London Punch.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1910-08-18
Where to Begin.

Look here" said the reforming hus-
band; I'VE must have things arranged
In this house so that we shall know
just where everything is kept"
with all my heart" sweetly an
swered his wife. land let us begin with
your late hours. my love. ! should
very much like to know where they
are kept"-Stray Stories.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1910-08-18
A Boomerano.

Gall that artp exclaimed a would
be critic, pointing to a painting in
studio. "If that daub Is work of art.
then I'm an idiotp'
''The latter part Of your statement"
reJoined the artist calmly, ''would seem
to furnish conclusive proof that 1t is a
work of art"
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1910-08-18

His Trick.

A pearl belonging TO her brooch had
got fastened in the lace OF her collar.
He offered to disentangle II.
That's a great trick of mine." be
said as he wrestled with 1t. "Separat-
ing pearls FROM
"PeopleY she interrupted In a fright
NO" said he; from aces."-New
York Press.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1910-08-18
Got the Whole Story,

What made you SO later
II met .Iinx"
"Well, that's no reason why you
should be an hour late getting home
to supper"
II know. but | asked him how he
was fe,Nng and the fool insisted on
telling me- Houston Post.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1910-08-18
lona courtshlp.

Maud-Are you engaged to Jack for
good2
Ethel-It looks so. don't think he'll
ever be In a position to marry ma
Boston Transcript.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1910-08-18
A Poultry Fable.

The hen returned to her nest and
found 1t empty.
"Very funny" said she; "I can never
end things where lay ."-Lippin-
colts.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1910-08-18

A stomach telescope, invented by a
London surgeon and In constant use
In a hospital in that city, enables
doctor to see the exact condition Of
the entire interior of patients
stomach.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1910-08-18

A patent has been granted ON a
roasting pan for meat which auto
matically bastes its contents by COL
lecting the juices through percolator
and delivering them in the form of
spray.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1910-08-18
Blank Naraa.

Poet-You published poem Of mine
last week. You pay according to the
kind of verse, don't you? Editor-Yes.
George. give the gentleman a blank
eheck.-Judge
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1910-08-18
cHILpREMs DAY AT THE OHIO sIAIE EAlR.

Ohio
To the little 1t a s man
and their wives and they will
will hordng
band
preceding o
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1910-08-18
RivaIs.

She--John Is very considerate sort
Of fellow, isn't he? He 1.-THE rivaD-
oh. yes, veryl He has that keen tact
and loving sympathy which chauf.
feur displays toward a helpless Grip
ple.-Life.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1910-08-18
CATTLE ExHIBLI BuLpNe-oHIo STATE Fair.

BOVE reproduce the
the OHIO State Fair The building 300 feet and will
stall
to be held Columbus o.
and the battle will
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1910-08-18

'srhat mans money Is all tied up"
"Poor fellow. Can't get at 1t, chr
"Oh. yes. All he mas to do u to untis
his morey bag"--Judga
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1910-08-18
A Good Reason.

"What makes you think. SIR, that
will not be able to support your daugh-
terf'
swell. haven't been able to my
self"
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1910-08-18

For one who can stand prosperity
there are hundred that will stand ad-
versity.-Carlyle.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1910-08-18

The gods have attached almost a.
many misfortunes to liberty as to ser.
vitude. -Montesquieu.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-07-10

of pleasant interests. and l think that
girls have the most delightful time
Imaginable during their early teens and
before their duties multiply and absorb
their leisure. am finding much
pleasure in the school life Of my girls as
/ did in my own. and with music to add
further charm we have a busy and
happy time Of it,
Senator and Mrs. Burkett are mem
bers of the Foundry church in 18th
street and in Lincoln they attend the
Trinity NJ. F. Church. They are among
the interchangeable workers in both con-
gregations. Mrs. Burkett takes an &C.
tive part In all the church societies. and
this, with the other duties pertaining to
her home, leaves her but little leisure.
Il must confess to enjoying my social
duties" she said. There is SO much to
inspire one and I always take delight in
meeting new people. OF course. l should
like to see some of the drudgery con-
nected with social calling eliminated. but
l think the time has gone by when a
woman feels called upon to make all the
visits formerly required. Ohcialdom is
gradually breaking into sections, and un-
less one is tremendously conscientious
and painstakng she will be satisfied
with visiting those women who are from
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-07-10
Transfer Economy.

IT is not an easy thing for two people
TO get their daily rides TO and from
work on a single fare. but two young
men seem To have solved the problem 10
their satisfaction. One lives far out 18TH
street and works i'm the Treasury build
ing. The other rooms in the vicinity OF
that government building, but works over
in Georgetown.
When the Treasury man comes down In
the morning-whch is regular as
clockwork-he gets Georgetown trans
fer. When he alights at the corner OF
New York and Pennsylvania avenues he
finds the GEORGETOWN man awaiting him.
To him he hands the transfer and the
Georgetown man gets a free ride 10 work.
In the afternoon the Georgetpvn man
returning gets a transfer to 18th street
This he hands to the other man when he
reaches the transfer point at The Treas
ury. The Treasury man thus gets f0ee
ride home. And there YOU are
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-07-10

posing heap of architecture. ! show this
to my Tourists who observe it with rub
bering expression of eyebrows.
kindly look-see the beauty Of this
bldg / say-so. 1T is built to resemble
Music Hall, so folks will be reminded
OF homelife as they enter 1t is totally
constructed of broken brick-bats trim
med with rollng-pins and champagne
corks. Over front door kindly to OBJ
serve with eyes the famous Reno motto:
UNITED WE FIGHT, DIVIDED WE
QUIT At the top-high tip of this bldg.
please notice Hon. Statue. Is it not lady
like? 1t represents Hon. Goddess of
Liberty holding a bread-knife in her
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-07-10

She think thoughtfully.
Lets see-was ii you who took CO.
logne in his cocktailso-no, that was
Frank-maybe you was the one that got
jealous about the chauffeur-no, that
was Charlie-you can't be the one that
kept me down to DC a day for car fare
because that was Alfred-who can you
be?'
Arthur hold his collar emotionally for
a slight moment.
NO. dearie,' he cry chokefully, 81
am Arthur-the one that tried to shoot
you on Fifth Avenue"
"Ah. new l remember. How good you
was to me" she decrop while weeping
on her pink parasoi. Did you marry
the correspondent:
''Certainlee!'' he response II always
marry the correspondent"
well. WELL" she snuggest like a Be
lasco star. ''hOw far We have travelled
since them happy times
Have you found the trip monotonous?"
he require.
"Ah. no. she collapse 'Lifes journey
is never monotonous if you change cars
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-07-10
6eo4619 6 lza1saa, Els11ulekR 10 a11Rr
PezyonaAy >conductedN 4y
S444A44R 90<s {1taAd ACE IRWIN

to hear it," snuggest Mrs. Noodleham.
And SO on to the miserable finish"
with what result?" require Hon.
Judge.
Finally she could hear it no longer
So she flew with me-
Mrs. Noodleham. you are divorced on
the grounds Of incombustibility Of tenn
perature," snugseat Hon. Judge. You
are entitled to all the alimony you can
collect
So. Mrs. Noodlehan depart of filled
with congratulations on her early mar
riage.
"Hugsins vs.. Higgins" yall Hon Bal
liff bailishly
Stout. crude gentleman with bald hair
mount to platform.
'Well. Mr.. Husstns." depose Hon.
Judge. what can we do for you this
morning"
II should like divorce on the grounds
Of habitual drunk he report.
us your wife a habitual drunk
mo. I am."
why. Mr.. Higgins formerly sup
posed your life was an open book"
1T is-but my wife has been reading
the Bright Passages"
removed my Tourist outwards from
such surroundings.
All married persons who come to Reno
must reside there one year 50 they will
feel sorry and never do SO no more
ls such punishment q cure? are not
certain to say. Many ladies comes here
again & again. each time with new
name and new story. Many divorce
persons has lived here 50 long that they
dread to go back to Newark whore the
climate is more healthy but less civil
lied.
took my tourists touring through
Residence Section of Reno. This Is a
very convenient place to live away from
your husband. 1t is on q long street
called Alimony Row just between Easy
Street and Bankrupt Square. All wealthy
divorsays residing here live in single
houses Of expensive appearance Each
one Of these houses Is neatly taxged
with shingle giving name. number and
crime of the Prisoner and how long she
must stay. One Of these signs say:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-07-10
Hot Heat.

JAMES H. ScAER, New York's weather
J expert, was talking about the heat
Our summer heat as of course. a
pretty formidable thing. he said but
it's not quite so formidable as some people.
for their own good, try to make out.
when 1 read the terrible descriptions
of our heat that appear in steamship AMI
seashore advertisements | wink to myself
and think of Sam Thomas.
Sam Thomas was a farm boy. Thu
farmer. while moving one hot day. sen,
him off to the general store for a plug
of tobacco. Sam his return broke
the farmers sharpening stone-he stepped
on it in jumping over the fence But
he kept on his way as though nothing had
happened. and then. after he had handed
the farmer the tobacco, he said:
Amt the heat terrible boss? I half
believe your sharpenin' stone'll be bro 4.
by the time you get back to the end OF
the field IL was bendin' nearly double
with the heat OF the sun as l came by. -
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-07-10

right hand a subpoena in. her left. Let
US pass inwards."
Inside Hon. Hall was long line of per-
sons waiting their turn like post Office
on Saturday night. They was nearly
come something else. We make walk
in to Courtroom.
There at central desk sat Hon. Judge
looking very Painful, like he wished to
fine somebody for high speeding. This
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-07-10

set to whom riding still appeals. With
her daughters. Mrs. Burkett plays a spir-
tied game of tennis. and is fond OF the
exercise.
But L cannot claim a single fad" she
said. unless being absolutely determined
always to keep busy constitutes one
am not even a collector OF any kind Of
treasure except books and music. and this
is such an ordinary avocation that l cam
not get into the fad class with this ten
dency. l have not even the fad for trav-
cling which seems so universal now. Co
ing backward and forward 10 Washington
eXhausts my desire for travel, and I get
so little chance TO stay in my home in
Lincoln that I begrudge even a day spent
away from it
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-07-10

They have followed the prevailing idea
OF Spanish decoration in the library and
dining rooms, but the drawing room in
gold and pompadour silk furniture and
hanginEs is decidedly French and very
pleasing. The library is the most popu-
lar room in the house and is filled with
the treasures Of all the family. The sem
ator has q working library on the second
floor but ne has abundance of books to
read in the big room library.
Mrs Burkett was at one time a fearless
horsewoman. but of recent years has
given up this diversion. She is fond of
driving. and has pair of booded trot-
tiers which she drives with skill. All of
her daughters ride horseback and fire.
quently make gay parties in the parks
with the young people from the senatorial
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-07-10

Hon. Judge makes 2l1, 466 divorces an
nually and is proud of their number
and high quality. He serves delicious
divorces with rapidity like Waldorf
Astoria bartender. Yet he does not use
them himself. He is a bachelor and
prefers cribbage to marriage. He say
he is too old to enjoy exciting sports
himself. yet he loves to make the young
folks happy.
''Noodleham versus NOodleham. come
into court holla Hon. Bailiff with base
ball voice.
Hon. Lady Of Chantecler appearance
elope to chair where she set down.
You here again, Mrs. Rafferty," re-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-07-10

1AcAo1ASU 0SA08 NV3tteAS.
THIS is busy time around the city
hospitals and the physicians and at
tendants are kept on the Jump. But II
was reserved for young inferno In an
uptown hospital to show the old veterans
of the medical profession what man
can really do when he is really buoy.
At the hospital in question a wealthy
old lady occupied private room: Her
she was never so happy as when she
could have nurse or doctor listening TO
her tales OF woe. Accordingly whenever
she got lonesome. which wac most Of the
time, she would ring for one of them and
keep the victim listening as long a., wsles
would hold him. On a particularly busy
evening recently nurses and doctors, were
scuttiing back and forth about tho build
ing, forgetful In their attention to real
needs Of the fancied troubles Of the old
lady She stood 1t as ,ons a. she could
and then rung hurriedly for doctor.
The young inferno vas very busy at
the time, but the summons appeared 50
insistent that he dropped the matter IN
hypochondriac.
going to sleep well tonight
You have some med:cins TO t%kf short
inferno, one hand on the doorknob. ''is
that ALP
Come here Doctor" the old lady went
on please take my pulse. think it's
entirely too rapid"
With a frown, the inferno picked up
the wrist
II took your pulse this noon.'' he said
after a moment. 1T was normal thsn
and is the same now must be sDing,
AS
But. doctor" cried the hypochondriac.
reaching out an appealing hand. II don't
think my heart is beating Just right.
Won't you please examine II?
Madam. I examined your heart this
afternoon answered the interne impa-
tiently. Its action couldn't be better. /
positively must leave you"
With that he turned and started to-
ward the door.
But. DOCTOR" cried the hypochendriae.
and reaching out hand, she seized the
coat-tails of the departing inferno. With
out q moments hesitation that harassed
individual grabbed the iapels, skinned
himself out Of the garment and stallsed
from the room, leaving his coat in the
hands Of a very much astouishea patient!
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1910-07-10
| "NO. 41144
myrtle Won COrker. Habitual shop
| per. IncuFable.
Nineth term"
Nineth term"

While We was making rubberly mo-
tions of neck by this residential house,
We observed Lady Of pink pongee COM
plexion leaning over the golden gate in
conversation with an intense gentleman.
Myrtle, can't you even recall my
eyes," he snuggest.
They are CLASSY, but unfamiliar she
report snibbly.
II am Arthur. he golloup sobfully.
arthur which," This from her.
''Arthur-don't you remember Arthur
who was your husband"
why should 1? One meets so many
She turn 1-2 away.
Just say that you remember me slight
ly by my teeth or nose" say Arthur.
"0ive me one splash of encouragement.
50 that / can die happy when l drink
myself to DEATH