Graham guardian., 1910-08-05
Feminine Guiding Star

The woman does not live who
is not flattered by the idea that she
is good angel to some man. 1t is
a part of the feminine makeup to
wish to be the guiding star. Men
know this, instinctively, and when
they need an excuse they word it
something like this: Il know am
not worth it, but you are the one
good thing in my life."
Girls, especially young girls, with
a slight knowledge of the world, are
strong in their own sense of power.
They think that their wanting to
make man good will make him
good. Knowing nothing of the
awful grasp of evil habits, they be-
lieve from the bottom of their little
white souls that they can bring him
up to the heights. And that is how
it happens that women marry men
to reform them.
A great problem faces the girl
who falls in love with a man who is
weak. Generally her love for him
makes her underestimate his weak
nesses. She calls his liking for the
the things that harm him by
other names than the true ones. If
he drinks, she tries to convince her.
self that he can stop if he will do it.
She is sure gambling will have no
attraction for him when ne can
bask always in the pleasure of her
society, and she contends that his
flirtatious regard for other girls will
cease when married.
Sometimes her faith in him is
justified. Some men lead reckless,
care-free lives until they meet the
one woman to whom they give a
great love, and that love transforms
them. But such cases are exceed
'ingly rare. The average man, in
the first flush of alteration, makes
promises which he cannot keep.
Bad habits are not easily replaced
by good ones, and the girl who en-
cages herself to man whom she
knows to be dissipated should in
sist upon long engagement. Only
in such an engagement can her
lover prove himself worthy. 1t is
easy enough for the Incorporate
man to refrain for a few weeks
or months from tippling, but a
year or longer will test his strength
and prove his love.
If all women were strong they
might bear up weak men on the
wings of their strength, but mar
riage, after the honeymoon, is a
practical proposition. The young
wife faces problems that have
never before confronted her, and
she needs husband who will help
her bear them and not add to them.
The wives of weak husbands are
always to be pitied. They never
have their womanly heritage of
protection and tenderness. They
go through the world with more
weight than their slender shoulders
really ought to carry.
No man who is the victim of his
own weakness should ask girl to
marry him. If his love for her is
very great he may tell her of it,
tell her that he wishes her for
his wife, but that, as yet, he has
no right to bind her to any vows.
If she loves him she can wait for
him, and when he has proved him
self man, marry him. The brave
hearted girl will say at this point,
Let me help YOU" And that is
her mistake. She may help, but
not as his wife. If misery is to
come he must bear the burden of
his own weakness, and not infect it
on a woman and perhaps on her
child.
Love is a sacred thing, so sacred
that no two people should treat it
as trivial. 1t should not demand
of its object perfection, but it must
demand a striving toward good.
The young couple who wish to marry
must have ideals, if they are to
have happiness. They must have
if they are to benefit their
race. They must be temperate, if
they wish to hold the respect of
the community. Kansas City Times.