The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-05-26

| haps. the lady happens to be 'deef and
durn,' l suggested.
well. at any rate, when I was shown
to my bedroom the first evening ar
rived at my friends house." related the
Mere Man. II began to make my prep
arations for retiring, when lo and be-
hold! looked around to see where the
bed was-and no bed was visible to the
naked eye. There was no article of fur
niturs which in any way resembled
bed. 1 surmised that perhaps it was a
case of the Roycrofters with an indoor
dressing room and an outdoor sleeping
room, but when peered out of the win
dow there was only darkness and a steep
descent to the ravine below!' -
"'Where the dickens Is the bed?' said
to myself, and began an exploring ex-
petition, which for adventure was not
less exciting than Doc Cooks to the
north pole. I discovered wardrobe and
looked 1t straight In the face, suspicious
ly. having heard that wardrobes had
been known to resolve themselves into
sleeping compartments. and so l began
my manipulations. But this one was as
obdurate and unresponsive as an umpire
at a baseball game when the crowd Is
down on him, and quietly stood its
ground, being no more nor less than
what 1t seemed-a WARDROBE
| Continuing the Mere Man said:
Then attacked an article of furni-
ture that strangely favored a bureau-at
least the kind I have always been used
to- And sure enough, it was bureau
pure and simple-and in consequence l
was no nearer solving the mystery OF
where ! was to sleep than I was before.
The clock struck midnight just about
| this time and I was beginning to feel
very uneasy and finally tipped stealthily
out of my door down the hallway and
knocked at the room which my hosts
two boys were occupying.
:" Where am I expected to sleep?'
asked gently. but firmly.
1.-THE eldest boy threw his dressing gown
around him and followed me to my room,
and said quite nonchalantly
" There's the bed and going over to
what I had supposed was settee or
divan, or whatever you call the things,
| threw back a gaily decorated cover and
| proceeded to pull out a wire section from
under the affair. He Strengthened out
the mattress, which was doubled up, and
| covered 1t with the sheets and drew forth
the pillows and. presto! change. A fairly
good-sized bed appeared in full view. The
whole thing had been as deftly and as
quickly done as though the boy had been
al chambermaid all his life In a first
class hotel
Hope you'll be comfortable. Pleasant
Dreams he said. and OF he went.
IT looked at the dainty little arrange
ment and thought of my 1870 pounds" the
Mere Man continued. ''and felt trife
concerned, but was SO sleepy that 1
soon fell down on the affair and before
I knew it was in the arms of Morpheus
safe and sound"
Then what complaint have you against
the arrangement" I asked.
Nothing. except whom I awoke In the
morning ! was spilled out on the floor
and one Of the little spindle legs of the
couch had given way. and the whole thing
was spoilt and 1 felt mighty bad about
it! 1t just occurred to me that you might
write about the decline of the size of
beds and the discomfort they AFFORD You
know they started with a large, buxom,
robust four~poster effect and a nice
soft feather bed on top Of which was
an elegantly upholstered mattress, and
great big feather pillows. Then 1t evo-
luted into twin BEDS when hygiene ami
all that sort Of stun came about. until
now the artistic is the main idea and
one Of those scrubby little couches for
a 1SO-pound man who is dead sleepy il
a mighty poor substitute for the real
article!
As / laughed at his dissertation the
Mere Man said:
II suppose II visit around much
will have to take lessons of the subject
Of Beds and How to MsAe Them and
constitute myself my own .chambermaid,
so that whatever happens I will be pre-
pared
Spend Sundays at Ingram
Wells-$1.26 b. +. via Sea-