The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1910-10-27
Too Many
Complications

"She will like this room. am sure"
said the woman caller to the keeper
of the boarding house. "All she wants
ia a pleasant place, where she can
live a quiet, simple"
Don't say another word" interrupt
ed the landlady, nervously. Il cant
let your friend have the ROOM"
why not? She is very sweet
girl"
II don't doubt that at all, but al
ready have three boarders In my house
who are trying to live the simple life,
and II Is making life a great deal too
complicated for me. Originally | in
tended to accept only woman boarders,
but my niece who boards with me said
she wouldn't eat breakfast without a
man at the table. 80 took in a young
lawyer ] insist that she shall get up
to eat breakfast with him, too"
THAT probably Is no hardship-if
he is NICE" remarked the woman call
er.
"Oh, he Is nice enough, but he wants
his breakfast ut 8.45 o'clock. My niece
has to set her alarm clock full hour
earlier than that In order to get on
all her curls. Then that young lawyer
just buries his head In the newspaper
and growls II any one speaks to him.
One morning he did try to be pleas
ant to her. He told her that he liked
only women who were past %. He
thought he was saying something that
would please her, but II didn't.
"As roomer. however, that young
man would be ideal If he would only
drop the simple life. Fresh air is his
hobby. He leaves the screen open
every time he crawls through his bed
room window. He says he never be-
fore slept so soundly as he does on the
roof, which slants away from his room.
The trouble Is that lie awake half
the night worrying for fear he will roll
off into Mrs. Boswell's yard. never
lost a roomer that way, but I don't
know what Mrs. Boswell would say II
he should roll off, she is so particular
about her lawn.
Every morning have to crawl
through the window to make up that
young mans bed on the roof, while
small imp who lives across the alley
calls his 'aunts and uncles and cousins
to come out and watch me. They act
just as II l were rehearsing for q tight.
rope performance. OF course the law.
yer's room has to be swept and busted
just the same as II he slept there and
j feel as II he were occupying a whole
suite and paying for just one room"
The landlady paused for breath The
caller took the opportunity to remark:
But surely your own niece does not
put you to any inconvenience"
she is much worse than the law
YER" declared the landlady, bitterly.
=, Health foods are her specially but
r she follows a different system every
i week. II she wanted lemonade and
peanuts for breakfast didn't care, but
!, I would not let her chew raw carrots
!. at my dining-room table, so the raw
food diet fell through, Then she de
] cided to live on buttermilk and | had
to order two quarts one day, only to
: find that she had stayed downtown tc
3 dinner The amount of buttermill
:, distributed among the neighbors thai
a evening made them think | kept
e COW.
" Last week my niece read that two
) meals day were sufficient for AM
D. one, so she Is skipping luncheon THU
l. week. She makes up for it at dinner
T Why, she eats so much that feel al
l. If | were furnishing her three neal
s. a day while she Is paying me for onl,
l. two. This idea of regulating ones aI
. petite according to watcher meal |
T table dhote or a Ia carte is hard o.
3 us landladies, with prices continual
s going up on everything
IL Yesterday a new boarder came Sh
3 looked like such sensible person tina
!, / was delighted with her But thi
a morning she told me that she woul
a have to be furnished with home-mad
II bran bread and pure.food coffee, tn
g. latter being boiled As minutes Sh
D. says these things are soothing fc
"a tired nerves. l don't believe 1t mysel
IL She wants me to have a punchin
'e bag put In the basement for her-jus
a' below my bedroom. She says she
y going to get up at 5 o'clock ever
Is morning to exercise with the punchin
10 bag.
II THE only way I'll be able to get an
e. sleep is to go to bed in the daytim
NJ AS for making any money, my on
10 hope is that my niece will take up IL
H. fasting fad
ie mo, as ] said before, can't tai
lp your friend IL she wants to lead Il
IL simple life"
IS.
n. Ill. n 49,