The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-01-01
PLACID MIR. BowsM.


Mr.. Bowser came home to dinner
smiling and placid. The gate had sol
stuck with snow and ice, but ne dlo not
kick it open and wrench its feennSS.
The cook had not swept the snow OH
the front steps, but he waded through
It and opened the door so softly that the
waiting Mrs. Bowser scarcely neard
him. She rather expected him to throw
his hat and overcoat on the floor ana
blame her for the weather, but ne nung
them up and turned to say:
Quite storm, dear. and it will grow
worse before morning. know you have
q good dinner, and am hungry Tor T.
At the table ne vas Suave and STL1l-
ing, praising everything until the cook
blushed with pleasure, and three or TOUR
times he said it was good to be home
and that he pitied men without them-
Mrs. Bowser was perturbed and WaIcn-
full. Mr.. Bowser wasn't. exactly Mr.
Bowser. He was partly some one else
Did his present attitude portend an out
break later on? When dinner was mn
ished the cook gave Mrs. Bowser a Wink
to remain behind, and when Mr.. .Bowscr
had vanished she whispered:
''Ma'am, had I better hide the axe
where he can't find it. and then slip
out and tell the cop on this beat TO Keep
an eye on the house?
why, Mary, why do you talk Ike
that?"
wild animals are always the quietest
when they are going to bite. It's Whep
they roar and prance around that you
needn't be afraid of them. Excuse me-
ma'am. but Mr.. Bowser isn't roaring
and he isn't prancing."
Don't be foolish"
mo. ma'am. I'll be wise and lock my
door tonight, three times and then put
my trunk and the dresser again it!,
Mrs. BoWSer went up to the sitting
room to find Mr.. Bowser in the rocking
chair with the cat on his lap and a
cigar in his lips. He was still placid;
he was still smiling. She had talked a
little neighborhood gossip when he
burst out laughing and said:
Il was thinking of how wanted to
start a chicken farm. What a dunder-
head I WASP
II believe some folks make them
pay"
'sBut never could. I should have
made a rank failure but for you. You
showed me by indisputable figures what
& chump I was. Bowser as a chicken
rafser-think of it!'
well, you didn't go into the chicken
raising. and so it's all right. Are things
at the office running smoothly"
And 1 wanted to start hog farm"
he continued, without needing her.
Yes, sir, I was made to believe that
there was $4,000 a year in raising hogs.
Remember how came flying home that,
evening and wanted to sell the house
within is minutes? By George, but it's
funny when you think about tt!'
Mrs. Bowser asked If he thought the
tariff would be tinkered with again this
winter, and he replied:
Cant tell. Say, wasn't It funny about
my wanting to become a strawberry
grower? That fellow sat down with
pencil and paper and showed me how L
could make $4,000 year. but in half
an hour after 1 got home you had
proved that would lose several hun
dred dollars a year. Mrs. BoWser, why
am I such a soft MARK"
you are not. You simply get excl
ted at times and don't stop to figure
Eyes, 1 guess that's It, and what
blessing that I have wife like you.
If you hadn't been hold-back on me
I should have. been in the poorhouse
or a lunatic asylum. And you remem-
9 flying machine? Great SCOTS, but
Bowser sailing through the deep blue
sky like an old battered crow! There
was, about to pay $4,000 for a machine
and make jackass of myself when
you stepped IN and saved me. some
times wonder if / was born a fool
Mrs. Bowser asked If there was any
thing new in the Cook-Peary contro
versy determined to change the sub
ject, but after a hearty laugh Mr.. Bow
ser went on;
And I was going to start dairy
with 60 cows and make a Rockefeller
income, and if 1 had gone into it we
should have lost our last shilling.
in the right Of it. I ought to go around
with a sign of 'chump' on my back.
This is a dear old cat. isn't it?"
I'm glad you love her"
land, ha! ha! ha. I wanted to go to
the North Pole Think of it, Mrs. Bow
ser-me at the North Pole! Why.
should have been a dead duck the first
cold day. You must have thought 1
had taken leave of my senses
1.-The gas bill this month is almost
7n11 rr11fd RI nd
On another occasion it would have
jumped Mr.. Bowser to his feet to yell
out that he would have the life of the
president of the gas company if the bill
were not cut in two, but on this he
simply said:
well 1 suppose we used the gas, and
in coming up in the car this evening
got to thinking how I used to try to
keep a hog in the back yard. Did you
ever hear of anything more ridiculous?
Yes, sir-brought half a dozen hogs at
different times. and such hogsi Wanted
to raise my own pork chops and bacon.
you know. Oh, Bowser, what an old
simpleton you are! Anyone can work
YOU"
"And I think the coal man gave US
short weight on the last load"
'Oh, well, coal men have got to make
living, the same as other folks. Say,
can you tell what allied me up to about
a year ago? / insisted on hiring the
cooks, you know. Told you that you
couldn't read character and could
used to blame you for not inviting them
to sit in the parlor and play the piano.
Say-say, but didn't some of them use
to give me gowdy. though! What a
Bowser-what chump! Yes, sir,
thought could run the kitchen better'n
you"
II had a letter from mother today
said Mrs Bowser. still struggling 10
force a change of subject.