The Morning standard. [volume] (Ogden, Utah) 1910-191?, 1910-12-11
lYSANOER JOHN.
(By Frances L. Garaide !

Lysander John Appleton had heard
CT the Ideal man ever since his we'd
| ding day. and finding himself alone
one evening with a lot OF his wife s
tayorite literature on the table, and
no one to catch him In the act OF read.
Ing it, hee searched the books and
magazines carefully that he might find
cut the pattern of his wife's Ideal
husband and make himself like him
And when he arose and went to bed
an hour later, 1t was with a brain sag
sinG like an overweiehted hammock
with the information he had obtained
And a noble resolution was added to
tho weight He had found her ideal
In the books and would be like him,
The next morning the steak was
burned, but on the plate beside the
meat his wife (who had been an ideal
wife for years without appreciation
had placed q rose.
Lyeapder John shifted at the rose
in manifest joy. Nature" he said
is wonderful, Who is there among
Us mere mortals who can match q
creation like that"
Mrs. Lysander John gasped. For
years she had tried to raise his mind
to such lofty heights. and had failed
The coffee was poor, but the water
all. that water Sparkling and clear,
1t reminded him of spring away bnck
in his boyhood home, and he quoted
ICetry as he drank. ignoring the steak
and the coffee,
Il have had delightful breakfast"
he said. putting down his empty glass
nf ha
dew on it, and the simple joys of my
boyhood home that that water has re-
called will sustain me throughout the
day
Then he raised her hand TO his lips
aud kissed 1t and bowed himself out of
the room, But his wife did not note
The manner of his exit, for she had
s%ooned away,
(Note-Some women faint, but 1t
10 later style TO swoon)
That evening when the ideal man
came home he carried, instead OF the
customary steak. a bunch of violets.
They reminded me Of your eyes,"
he said to his wife, who was standing
IN the kitchen heating a pan for the
steak.
Where she gasped. "is the
meat?"
Il forgot it ;" he said. "That rose
with the dew on this morning lifted
my mind above all that Is gross. Come
ard sit with me in the tender gloam-
ing while | read a poem | composed
| and dedicated TO you"
"Lysander John Appleton" she
snapped, what is the matter with
you2 Are you going crazy
1t is about the Higher Life" he re-
Piled, paying no heed to her inter.
ruptIon. II composed 1t today instead
OF doing my work. IT raised me to the
heights as no work could ever do"
Come to your supper" she replied,
"and quit you talk about the cleaning,
am not going to let my children
starve because I married u fool
There was little on the table, but
Lysander John ate cheerfully. Il see,
he said, that you have baked pota-
toes. 1t is hard work TO put q potato
In the oven to bake, and 1t is my de-
sire that In future you refrain from
such arduous labor and relax more
His wife dropped her knife and fork
IN stunned amazement.
He made one more suggestion: II
see no flowers on the table. Are We
retrograding? Are we mere animals
that we care more for gratifying the
g-oss desires than for satisfying the
longlngs of the sou?l
But Mrs. Lysander John didn't re-
ply. With deep groan she stiffened
and fell 10 the floor foaming at the
mouth as If she were having an at
tack OF nydrophobia, or demonstrating
q tooth wash.
And Lysander John, the Candidate
Cor the Ideal, went up on the roof that
no one could see him laugh