davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16
JAYHAWKER JOTS

Some people are smarter than you
are, says the Blue Mound Sun, and it
adds: "It is important that you know
it,"
Some people do nothing with their
religion, says the Colby Fress Press,
except make themselves and others
miserable with it.
TT is unnecessary to be hunch-
back to be deformed," remarks VIII
Palmer and he adds: "a cranky dis
position is a worse Disagreement"
After all, says the Baldwin Ledger,
good mince pie and plenty of apple
butter will soon bring back courage
to those of the Republican household.
A Wamego lady, says the Reporter,
was sympathizing with a sore Repub-
Iican and said: us women have an
advantage over you. We never lose
our vote"
Sent in" to the Smith County Pio-
neer: A young couple are raising two
little boys-Harry, three and a half,
and John, five years old. They had
been serapping, as little fellows Will.
In the evening papa was hearing Har-
ry repeat his prayer. They were say
ing, God bless mamma and papa and
John. Harry did not balk until John
was reached and then looking up with
a very expressive wry face he said,
Jaw not john"
and a travelling mans wife met one
day recently and were talking about
the forgetfulness of their husbands.
The minister's wife thought her hus-
band the most forgetful man living,
because he would go to church and
forget his notes and no one could make
out what he was trying to preach
about. The doctors wife thought her
husband was the more fofgetful, for
he would often start out to see pa
tient and forget his medicine case,
and therefore travel miles for nothing.
| We'll, said the travelling mans wife,
my husband beats that. He came
home the other day and patted me on
the cheek and said: I believe I have
seen you before, little girl. What Is
your name p ''-Lindsborg News.
A janitor in a neighboring school
threw up his job the other day. When
asked what was the trouble he said
| I'm honest and 1 won't stand being
slurred. If I find a pencil or hand
kerchief bout the school, hang it up
Every little while the teacher or some
one that is too cowardly to face me
gives me slur.'' In what way? 2
asked the officer why, little
while ago I saw find the common
multiple written on the blackboard
Well, 1 looked from cellar to garnet
land 1 wouldn't know the thing If met
it on the street. What made me quit
my Job? Last night in big writin' or
the blackboard, it said, find the great
est common divisor.' Well, I says tC
myself, both of them darn things are
Host now, and I'll be blamed for swip-
in 'em, so I'll quit."-White City Reg
lister.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16
GLOBE SIGHTS.
TFrom the Atchison Globe.I

TFrom the AtchiSon Globe,1
You can usually tell a suspicious char
acter by the way he hates the police.
Success is a long and steep hill upon
which there are no resting places.
There is never time when hardwork-
ing man is free from people botherfng
When a man is defeated for office. he
at once makes a list of the heads that
must come off.
Your friends may not help you much,
but they can do you lot of harm II you
offend them.
Next summer, a good many of the early
crop of autom obiles will begin to look and
rattle like old buggies
Times are occasionally hard in Kansas,
for a month or two. but the east has
never recovered from hard times.
There is one thing defeated candidate
ALWAYS says about the man VINO de-
feated him. 1t is this: HE will stoop TO
anything"
Doc Robinson, horse doctor, bohemian,
and town drunkard, says he has mao
every fool idea in his head except running
for office.
Those women who can't manage Their
husbands, say it is perfectly proper tic
wear summer millinery until the las'
leaf has fallen from the trees.
There was another case of Repartee IN
Atchison this week. A man took home
some ball sausage. but his Wife dlon
like it and threw it at his head
Ever notice. that there are some pretty
big men in towns of only few hundred
people? The chances are that your toWI
is large enough for you, all right.
Another story of a dog has been re
ceived at this office, for review. The
dog is treated, as usual, as a IoVely cnar'
a dog is not a lovely character. dos
is ALWAYS natural.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16
AImhouse Cow on a Jag.

The inmates of the Clinton aims
house have been deprived of their
usual supply of milk for the last day or
two, on account of the inebriety of the
poor farm COW. On Saturday morning
it was a difficult task for John Ewart,
the warden of the poor farm, to get
the COW into the barn. The animal
staggered, and, believing that the COW
was i'll, the warden telephoned to a
veterinarian. When the latter arrived
he gave one look at the COW and said,
"That COW Is drunk"
Investigation bore out the truth OF
his statement. The COW had found
her way to a pile of cider apples and
had eaten so much of the fruit that
she could neither see nor walk
straight-Chnton, Mass, special tc
Cincinanti Enquirer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16
just Struck One.

1t was an old custom among high
waymen to stop prosperous looking
men on the street at night and in
quire the time, and then, when the
obliging party had pulled out his
watch and named the hour, to snatch
the watch and run off with it.
One night one of these footpads ac-
costed an athlete.
What time is it?" inquired the
footpad.
The athlete dealt the crook a hard
punch on the jaw.
Gust struck one" said the athlete,
as the footpad went down before his
singing blow.
Gee" said the crook, as myriads of
stars were c1ouding his vision. I'm
glad I didn't meet you an hour ago."
National Magazine.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Greatness to get married too often
turns out to be a brand of insanity
that's only temporary.
X X
The inconsistency of humans is also
demonstrated by the folk who buy
alarm clocks and then muff1e them.
X X
Some people don't know what hap
piness is because they fail to recognize
it when it comes their way.
X X \
Many men waste a lot of time and
energy in working their way up lad
ders that have nothing very desirable
at the top.
X X
In the minds of a few people, If all
the devils on earth had horns on their
heads those without such appendages
would be the conspicuous folk.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16
HVNOR or THE Day

Mamie Not yet replied Maude. Il
have several offers, but the engagement
rings have not all been submitted for in
spection. "-Washington Star.
He woke up one morning and found.
himself famous "Well?' And then
went and made a monkey of himself in
time for the afternoon papers to get hold
of it'-Pittsburg Post.
$50 Pipps enjoyed his vacation?" yes.
There was a man staying at the same
hotel who couldn't hold candle to Pipps
in an ent."-Birminghsm Age-Her-
aid.
This is the fourth time you have asked
me to marry you" said the good-looking
girl, resentfuliy. 81 am sure have never
t that Replied the serious young man.
You're the only girl know who doesn't
laugh when I propose to her.'-Washing-
ton Star.
Have you any nice fresh farmers
esgs?'' inquired precise old lady at a
grocery shop. mo, madam" replied the
assistant but we have some very good
hens eggsf''-Santa Rosa Argus.
CITY Girl-Oh, the darling little chickens
Inst out of their shellsi At what age are
they ready for market? Farmer-Any-
where up to eight years, lady.-New York
Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

From the Chicago News.1
The more people talk about things
the less they do.
The anxious seat is occupied by the
man on the fence.
Love has even been known to survive
the marriage ceremony.
Some people dispense the milk Of hui
man kindness in brick FORM
Occasionally a man lays up something
for a rainy day and then it SHOWS.
No, Alonzo, a man who studies the
habits of ants isn't necessarily an an
tiquarian.
The man who has passed safely
through a cyclone has something to
blow about.
Every mothers son of us has his
hobby. That of the average actress
seems to be matrimony.
Fifty years ago mothers didn't have
congresses about babies, yet we know
a lot of old people who seem to have
been raised au Eisht
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16
THE RIDICUIOUs oPTINfIsT

There was once man who smiled
Because the day was bright,
Because he slept at night,
Because God gave him sight
To gaze upon his child;
Because his little one
Could leap and laugh and run,
Because the distant sun
Smiled on the earth, he smiled.
He toiled and still was glad
Because the air was free,
Because he loved. and she
That claimed his love and he
Shared all the joys they had!
Because the grasses grew,
Because the sweet winds blew,
Because that he could hew
And hammer. he was glad.
Because he lived he smiled
And did not look ahead
With bitterness or dread,
But nightly sought his bed
As calmly as a child.
And people called him mad
For being always glad
With such things as he had,
And shook their beads and smiled.
Christian Endeavor World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16

past three months" This still keeps
the colonel performing the rather i'm
possible feat of riding two horses in
opposite directions, for his Osawatomie
speech and what he said in the east,
in his campaigning in Massachusetts
and New York and in the New York
Republican platform, are as different
political propaganda as day is from
night
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16

The slaughter of the innocents-the
quail, which. alive, are worth more
than their weight in gold to the farm
ers-is now on. It is only the I'M
hardness with guns on the part of the
myriads of hunters" who go after
these valuable birds, that prevents
their utter extinction.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16

Through the columns of the Out
look. Colonel Roosevelt has broken his
silence concerning the results of the
election in New York and elsewhere.
His comment is brief and merely to
the effect that st have nothing what
ever to add to or take away from the
declaration of principles which 1 have
made in the Osawatomie speech and
elsewhere, east and west, during the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16

1t is fortunate for Governor Stubs
that he did not have to issue his
Thanksgiving day proclamation until
after the recent political campaign and
election were things of the past. Else
he could scarcely with propriety have
remarked about 1.-THE beautiful tran
Quillity of our people"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
GFrom the New york Press.1

TFrom the New York PreSS-1
Faith seems to be all superstructure
and no foundation
A woman can be proud of her curly
hair even when it's all wig
Kiss a girl once to get her angry ana
then again to get her over it,
Lots of men act as If breakfast with
the family was the tail end of the night
A man thinks he's a devil of a fellow
if he knows, from reading it in the news
papers an actress fayorite flower.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16

Of a truth, there are two sides to
every question and every other thing.
Jacob Riis, 1.-The most useful citizen .
as he has been styled by Colonel
Roosevelt, says that the colonel and
not the Democrats was the victor in
the election in New York
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16

Mosquito bites apparently affect hui
mans in other ways beside inoculating
them with fever germs A New Jer-
sey man expresses disgust with the
voters of a land who would turn
down Teddy. He wants to sell his
property so he can move to another
rIfr,1e
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16

Sarah Bernhard cleaned up some
5000 for herself during her two
weeks engagement in Chicago. That S
not so worse for an old lady. And
some people will be sure to insist that
1t is further evidence of the fact that
the "easy marks" in this country are
without numher
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16

Prospects for Republican success in
the next presidential campaign are
considerably brighter. In Mr.. Bryan's
latest interview on the subject he in
Inmates that he may again be a can
didate for the Democratic presiden-
tiaI nomination. If he is a candidate
for this nomination he'll probably get
it, despite the protests of the Demo
Gratis in some of the eastern states.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16

News comes from Kansas City that
the retail price os pork chops has been
reduced there from 1 cent to 21s
cents a pound. Similar reductions are
looked for in other localities. This
means that the family which buys a
quarters worth of this delectable
product of the porker will get just one
more bite out of it than they have been
accustomed to of late.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16

A reported lock of Napoleon's hair
was sold not long ago in New York
for $45. What waste of money.
Whole bundles of "false" hair can be
bought these days for dime.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal Is a member Of the
Associated Press and receives the full gay
telegraph report of that great news or
ganizafion for the exclusive afternoon
publication In Topeka
The news is received in The state Jour
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16

Clifford Pinchot has addressed a let
ter to President Taft concerning those
much talked about Cunningham
claims. A statement from Mr.. Pin
chot on the present status of the new
nationalism" would have been more
Interesting
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16

Evidence is not lacking that the con-
test for the speakership of the COM
ing Kansas house is going to be as
pretty a political scrap as has been
staged in this state in years
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16

From now until congress meets, re-
marks the New York Mail, the coun-
try will enjoy the blessings of peace.
The interval is so brief that we should
make the most of il.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16

Great and wonderful man as Tolls
tot was. it appears that Mrs. Tolstoi
was the boss of the household. A re-
port now has it that the old gentle
man left home because his wife did
not run their farm to suit him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16

AS was to have been expected, the
new government established at Mica
ragua is a republic only in name. A
political meeting held there the other
day was dispersed by troops who used
Crane and canister
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16

It strikes the Boston Transcript that
aviation has one advantage over other
modes of travel-you can always be
sure of making good time on the return
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16

o A total eclipse of the moon is sched-
'uled for tonight. And what, by the
way, has become of Halley's comet?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16

Late dispatches from Tennessee IN
dicate that the members OF the Jett
family, noted fer their ability TO COM
bine business and pleasure under the
general head of homicide, have aoout
worked themselves out of material. II
appears that having destroyed a WORK
ing majority of their enemies, tney
have commenced killing each other
When the court reaches the case 81
the San Francisco gent who slew ms
widowed mother with hatchet, some
Ieniency should be shown on tne
grounds that the defendant is an or
phan.
A patient in a philadelphia hospital:
exposed the fact that he had swaiioWe1
ma dose Of aqua pura during the past oU
years. Needless to add, the apstalici
in question has never visited IN ran
sas.
The price of meat which some time
ago assembled to the top via the nlSh
speed elevator, is now coming down.
via the fire-escape.
Robin Cooper, the Tennessee gent
who assisted his parent in murdsrlhs
Senator Carmack. has been FOUND not
guilty. An apology is due young MI.
Cooper 1t took the Tennessee courts
| longer to find him not guilty tnan II
has in many cases of ASSASSINATION III
that state.
Justice and Law make great vaude-
vile team. The side-spliting comedy
slxits they put on at the Dietz trial IN
Wisconsin and the Benigus murder
| case in Abilene, land them firmly III
the first division of the.top-liners-
Missouri society note: Hon. Champ
Clark. has gone to Washington to- make
arrangements to put new seat In the
Chair.
Another preacher-promoter has been
pinched for selling what he didn't nave
| in stock. The "higher calling" ana
higher finance" are rapidly becoming
| synonymous.
LOVELY CHARACTERS. Lesson XIV
| Democritus.
&Democritus, for whom (perhaps) the
! Democrats were named,
Because of his philosophy OF leV1ty
was famed.
He had a lot to laugh about;-the
modern Democrat
Until this Fall election, hadn't much
| to giggle at.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16
FROM OFFER PENS
CAsE OF PITY MISPLACED

A CASE OF PITY MISPLACED.
A good many books and plays are
based on the idea of a mans taking up
a line of thought or action and sticking
to it long enough to carry it through.
But working toward such a climax de-
mands a rigorous consistency that may
not be true to nature, for see from
concrete example how real life slews us
around.
Here is the case of a man who was
drugged and robbed of his life's saw
ings. He pursued the offender for
months, over hundreds, of miles, caught
him and secured his conviction and
imprisonment. A well executed piece
of vengeance, you say; public duty
handsomely performed. But no; the
avenger weakens, turns tail, back
pedals or whatever you like, and is now
working as hard to get the criminal
pardoned as he once worked to get him
jailed.
Such lack of consistency and con-
tinuity is, of course, ruinous to a
welI-rounded plot Clearly, there is al
ways the risk that stated vengeance
| may produce a revulsion of feeling
and that justice may be elbowed out
| by pity. The brakes must be put on
in time-Chicago Record-Herald.
MOTORING.
Motoring trolley car is an art, for
nearly all people are some time. and
many every day, brought within its in
| fluence. This art, when happily ex-
pressed, starts and stops a car quietly,
and increases or. diminishes the speed
| without a jolt. This art, like all truly
expressed, brings pleasure to all who
come within its influence. There is a
| joy in the quiet starting of car, in
| the blissful experience of not knowing
when the inertia ceases and the mo-
mentum begins. The art consists In
the graceful joining of these two sit
/ uationS. f
| This cannot always be achieved. 1t
takes three things to accomplish this
a gentle hand, a kindly heart and an
| intelligent mind. This beautiful com
bination is not easily found We have
sometimes seen it, and it seemed like
pushing a shallop from shore and
| floating down the stream. But many
| have not-many whose awkwardness
seems more like rudeness. and who JOLT
you along the track like an OK cart
| pulled over a corduroy. We have seen
humanity. the better half of it espe-
| cia1y, thrown into corS.Srtions by the
neglect of this delightful art--Ohio
State Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16

his race, the same that regards Book
er Washington as traitor to its cause.
Boston Transcript.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16

*Democritus was the original Ha-ha
Kid. He laughed so much that his
friends, who were gifted with a rare
British humor, imported noted bug
specialist from the State Asylum 10
examine his dome of thought. The
specialist, after taking the philoso-
piers temperature and scarf pin, re-
ported that Democritus was the sanest
man in that township. The same sus-
picion of insanity has pursued his
namesakes. the Democrats, through
several generations. But just about
the time the probate Judge called A
commission to sit upon them, they have
dished up something worth laughing
about An accident of this kind hap
pened recently in the political SUD
division known as Shawnee county. AS
a result, the kind gentleman who bet ~
one-case note that your dear teacher
was crazy, dropped in this morning
and paid his assessment.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16

Justice and Law make a great vaude-
vile team The side-spliting comedy
skits they put on at the Dietz trial IN
Wisconsin and the Benigus murder
case in Abilene, land them firmly III
the first division of theAtop-liners
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16

Missouri society note: Hon. Champ
Clark has gone to Washington to- make
arrangements to put new seat IN the
Chair.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16

The price of meat, which some time
ago assembled to the top via the hlGh
speed elevator, is now coming down.
via the fire-escape.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16

A patient in a Philadelphia hospital.
EXPOSED the fact that he had swaiiowe1
ma dose of aqua pura during the past 81
years. Needless to add. the abstalncr
in question has never visited IN Ran
sas.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16

Another preacher-promoter has been
pinched for selling what he didn't nave
in stock The "higher calling" ana
"higher finance" are rapidly becoming
synonymous.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-11-16

When the court reaches the case d
the San Francisco gent who slew his
widowed mother with a Ratchet, some
Ieniency should be shown on tne
grounds that the defendant is an OF
phan.