Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1910-02-23
HUMOROF THE GREEKS.
Wit That Helped the Anclents
Drive Dull Care Away.
SOME FIFTH CENTURY Jokes
The Absentnninded Professor Was .
Prolific Source Of Merriment to the
testers Of Those Dsys-The Source
Of Many Modern Jokes.

Of Many Modern Jokes.
The maxim that there Is nothing
new under the sun applies. Il would
seem. more truly 20 Jokes and witt
clsms than TO anything else. The chief
differences between the jests OF one
generation and that OF another lie
mainly IN their form. The kernel Is
practically the same. Nevertheless II
is interesting 20 exhume some OF these
ancient Jokes and TO recognize In them
the ancestors OF the things ut which
we laugh today In the pages OF our
humorous publications.
Some humorous writer's dearly love
20 make fun Of the absentminded. un.
practical university professor. who
outside Of his own subject let's his
wits wander and Is very slow TO grasp
anything In ordinary life. Such Jokes
as these were cracked centuries ago
By the students and graduates Of the
great universities In ancient Greece.
for IL Is a mistake to suppose that
what we now call college life" was
unknown to the ancients.
As a matter Of fact. the student at
the University Of Athens or at the
University Of Alexandria was very
much the same sort OF mortal as is
the student today. and his professors
were not so very different.
A witty Greek named Hierocies. a
graduate OF Alexandria. collected some
time In the 9th century n volume Of
jests which were current among the
students with regard 10 the woolgath.
ering type Of professor A number OF
them are translated here as being OF
considerable interest In the history OF
humor and especially Of college hu.
NOR:
A professor. wishing TO swim. was
nearly drowned. whereupon he swore
that he would never touch water again
until he had learned how TO swim.
or twin brothers. one died. A pro-
fessor thereupon. meeting the sur
vivor. asked. us II you that died or
your brothery"
A professor. learning that a raven
would live for more than 200 years.
bought one TO test the matter.
A professor. wishing 20 cross n river.
went on board the boat on horseback
When some one asked the reason he
answered that he wanted 10 get over
In a hurry.
A professor. looking out OF the wiE-
dow Of a house which he had bought.
asked the passersby whether the house
was becoming 10 him.
A professor. meeting another pro-
fessor. said. II heard you were dead )"
"And yet" replied the other. "you see
that ! am still alive" well" said
the first In perplexity. II don't know
what to believe. for the man who told |
me about It Is much more truthful
man than YOU
A professor. In danger OF being ship /
wrecked. called for his tablets that he I
might make his will. Seeing thereupon
his slaves lamenting their fate. he |
said. "Do not grieve. for I am going to
set you free"
A professor dreamed that he had
troddcn on nail and that the wound
palned him. on waking he bound up
his foot Another professor. having
learned the cause. remarked. at served
you right. for why do you sleep with.
out sandalsT"
A professor. meeting a doctor. hid
himself behind a wall. Some one ask
Ing the cause. he answered. Il have
not been sick for so long time am
ashamed to come into the sight OF a
physician"
A professor. wishing 90 teach his
horse TO be small eater. gave him no
food at all. At length. the horse hav.
Ing starved 10 death. the professor OK.
II have suffered n great loss.
for just as he had learned not to eat he
iledr"
A professor, visiting sick person,
inquired about his health. The invalid.
however. was not able TO reply. There
upon the professor, being angry aud
scoldlng the man. said. IL hope that
shall be sick some OF these days. and
then when you come 10 ask how I am
! will not answer"
A professor sealed up a vessel OF
wine which he had bought. His serv.
ant having made hole In the vessel
beneath and drawn OF some OF the
wine. the professor was sstonlshed TO
see the contents diminished while the
seals remained unbroken. nelghbor
having told him 10 look whether IL had
not been taken out from below. he re-
piled. why. you fool. it's the upper
part OF the wine and not the lower
that Is missingr
A professor. a bald man and a bar.
Der travelling together agreed to keep
watch In turn four hours. each while
the others lept The BARRIERS turn
came first. He quietly shaved the
head of the sleeping professor and
when the line elapsed awoke him.
The latter. scratching his head as he
got NJ and finding II bare. cried out:
"what a "a. al that barber Is. He's
walked the laid man instead OF me!-
Exchange,