The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-12-24
! IEzHzl Manufacturers and Wholesale Merchants GI
WhOGNeEmpOmenta and Home Comforts Topeka Citizens 8

was gong TO start In the chicken
| business with 10000 fowls, but found
they had to eat.
HAS had enthusiastic thoughts of
starting a dairy with 500 cows. He
may as soon as the COWS learn to milk
! themselves.
success. A thunder storm has always
come up when he sat down to write,
and he has had to make November
rhyme with cucumber
Has ideas on the servant girl prob
| lem. Thinks they would be glad to
stay at least four weeks in. a house
where they were given champagne and
cake and allowed the use of the parlor
and the piano.
"Objects to the butcher Weighing
the bone with the steak. At such times
words can be heard half a mile
away.
rs very charitable to the poor, but
his wife has to find money on the
floor to buy stockings, one pair at a
time.
Mr. Bowser has been told that if
he had turned his attention to medi-
cine he would have made a great doc
tor. That's why he doses himself
three times a day.
to be will be. That is, if his wife hap
pens to lose her purse with ten cents
in it he will jaw around to the extent
of a hundred dollars.
ne - hnOW II dS a SuCCOSSlU1 JUST
ness man. That is, he has his club.
wines, cigars, ETC., and if his wife
wants five cents for stick of gum he
talks about extravaganza and the
poorhouSe.
HAS always taken great interest in
the drama. Has been obliged to, as
some actor is always borrowing money
of him. Has written three plays, all
of which were on the road for q full
week, at his expense, before busting,
o, hay Elnr cd
cesseS.
ut was Mr.. Bowser who introduced
the trick of having a play open in the
city of Bagdad in order that Bagdad
curtains might be right at hand. On
one occasion he attempted to act, but
twelve policemen came behind the cur
tain and said they would not stand for
it. He might throw Black Hand
bombs, but he should not act except
over their dead bodies.
HE has impulsive ways with him.
On one occasion he may go to the door
and hand a beggar 10 cents. On an
other he may hike the man down
the steps and over the fence. This
trait of his makes the public rather
cautious in approaching him.
"Mr. Bowser has a most remark
able memory. Twenty-six years ago
he lost d collar button, and he's blam-
ing Mrs. Bowser about it yet. There
are times when he charges her with
having swallowed it in spite of him.
HAD Mr.. Bowser and Christopher
Columbus lived at the same time they
would have been close friends. Mr..
Bowser would have very likely offer
ed the long green to fit out those
| ships.
'Mr. Bowser has no hair to speak of,
| but he is a firm believer in hair dyes.
He thinks that hair dyes and pump
kin pies have put this country on the
pedestal she now occupies. He has
already advised the new republic of
| Portugal to go in for them
This was the end of Mr.. Bowser's
history, as written by Mrs. Bowser.
She had shopping to do the other day,
and she took several hours off. At
the same time business was light with
Mr.. Bowser at the office and he came
home to add to those paragraphs. We
who knowhi can realize what his
feelings were before he had read the
fourth paragraph. He turned red and
| white and tried to say words. He ges-
ticulated and jumped UP and down.
When at last the full measure of
Mrs. Bowsers perfidy stood revealed
he looked for the ak. He looked for
that he might set the house ablaze
and wipe it off the face of the earth
Then he grew calm. 1t was dan
gerous calm. Not a leaf stirred. Sc
for ten minutes and then he tore the
| manuscript in pieces and walked from
| the house. Mrs. Bowser came home
but he was not there. Night fell, bu
he was still missing. This is the thir6
dav but he has sent no wireless.
Is Mr.. Bowser still living? Does h
read the newspapers? If so, and thi
meets his eye, he is implored to re
turn. Mrs. Bowser was simjly jok
ing. She promises to joke no more
She goes to bed weeping, and gets III
all choked up in the morning. If h,
will only return he may threaten di
vorce and she won't say a word.
If anybody else will return hin
there will be grateful thanks and al
expenses paid. For personal descrip
; ton of him see small bills.-(Copy
righted 1910 by Associated Literar.
Press.)