Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1910-04-08
FOR APRIL
Copy tght 1909 By C. H. RIETH)


or deep affection bound me.
1 loved to milk and do the chores
Around that simple dwelling,
And didn't give whoop outdoors
How groceries were selling.
l dreamt that dwelt in overalls,
With hired men to serve men,
And something when misfortune falls
To happily preserve me.
/ heard the lowing of the Kline
As deep toned as an organ,
And the thrill of ownership was mine,
The same as Mr.. Morgan.
l dreamt that dwelt in overalls,
As all the railroads want me;
And the city and its gloomy walls
Were nevermore to haunt me.
/ lived on something more than crusts,
With nothing much to fret me,
And hoped around and dared the
trusts
To come out there and get me.
April was anciently the second
month, and it was entirely satisfactory
in that position until the founding of
Rome. This occurred upon April 81,
and the Romans found it necessary to
keep the day with one of their patriotic
parades. After they had lost their
toes and stopped the parade three or
four times while everybody went in
and got warm, they yielded second
place on the calendar to February,
and showed April along to balmier
weather.
The name is from the Latin Aprils,
or the opener, who was the Roman
god of poker. This was a great pas
time with the Romans, and it so deep
ly impressed itself upon the national
life Aprilis became in time a sort all
around corkscrew for opening Spring
or whatever else pertained to the Ro-
man experience. 1t was form of hui
NOR among the Roman wits to say
that Aprils had opened Spring and bet
. robin or something similarly charac-
teristic, and the weather bureau of
that time wholly confined its conjec-
lures to what Aprilis probably held or
would draw, which made this branch
of the Government a great favorite
with the people, instead of something
that everybody damns, as it is with
us.
The gentle rain will green the lawn,
and seed the Congressman sent on to
prove his usefulness to men will haz-
7ard the insurgent hen. The breath
:. summertime will blow, the sap and
poetry will flow, and the farmer will
deny his dog to feed that $50 hog.
The playful colt will pirouette
And turn the double summerset.
And turn the uouoIe summerseu.
The festive calf will buck and snort
And tip up where his hair is short.
The farmer will get in his corn,
The meadowlark will wake the morn,
And Pinchot will display the welt
He got to Papa Roosevelt.
For All.Fool's Day you may rejoice
to learn that you will have your
choice. The first, the sixth and TWEEN
ty-onct have all been beautifully
dunced; but of the three it may be
said the first is virtually dead, where
as the sixth is something new. 1t is
the day that Peary drew himself erect
and said, to-wit: "This is the pole,
and am it.'' Aud likewise on the
twenty first another great explorer
burst upon that quiet Arctic nook and
cried, Eureka, tally Cook!" Just
help yourself to either date you care
to keep and celebrate. 1t matters not
which one is set, since nothing has
been settled yet.
The first of April Teddy lands
Upon the dock at Naples,
With lion blood upon his hands,
And skins and other staples.
He'll then proceed by easy trips
To lecture toward New York,
And add to Europe's scholarships
The study of the stork.
Upon the night of April 8, or some
not very distant date, we shall at last
with naked eye see Halley's comet in
the sky. It will appear to be stick
of living fire and twice as thick as
that which Roosevelt was wont to
carry when he made his haunt around
the capitol. Its head will wave this
way and that, and dread will seize
upon the people who have not been
giving us our due.
Our Uncle John will push his plan
To elevate his fellow man,
And as the comet closes in,
He'll grow impatient to begin.
Our Uncle Andy will recall
That he has not begun at all
To give, and Uncle Pierp himself
Will scatter bis abundant pelf.
The Rock et eller fund to date