Willmar tribune., 1910-06-08


forever. both domestic. sociable, legal
aud otherwise. until death us do part 2
why, yes says l. \ read it be-
tween the lines. though you only spoke
one. And l suppose, you are aware
says l. that l have movement on
foot that leads up to the widow chang
lug her name to Hicks and leaves you
writing to the society column to in
0uire whether the best man wears a
1aponica or seamless socks at the we'd
ding?"
"'There'll be some hiatuses in your
program says Paisley. chewing up a
piece Of a railroad tie. I'd give in to
you says he. in most any respect If
1t was secular affairs. but this Is not
so. The smiles of woman goes on
Paisley. is the whirlpool Of Squills
and Chalybeates, into which vortex
the good ship Friendship Is often
drawn and dismembered. Id assault
a bear that was annoying you.' says
Paisley. or Id indorse your note or
rub the place between your shoulder
blades with opodeldoc the same as
ever. but there my sense OF etiquette
ceases. In this fracas with Mrs. Jes-
sup we play It alone. I've notified you
fair
"And then I collaborates with N.Y.
self and offers the following resolu-
tions and bylaws:
Friendship between> man and man,
says I, is an ancient historical virtue
enacted in the days when men had to
protect each other against lizards with
eighty foot tails and flying turtles.
And they've kept up the habit to this
day and stand by each other till the
bellboy comes up and tells them the
animals are not really there. I've Of
ten heard says. about ladies STEP
ping in and breaking up friendship
between men. Why should that be?
I'll tell you, Paisley. The first sight and
hot biscuit of Mrs. Jessup appears to
have inserted a oscillation into each
of our bosoms. Let the best man of
us have her. I'll play you square
game and won't do any undetermined
work. I'll do all of my courting of her
In your presence, so you will have an
equal opportunity. With that arrange.
ment don't see why our steamboat OF
friendship should fall overheard in
the medicinal whfrlpools you speak of,
whichever OF us wins out
"'Good old hossv says Paisley, shak.
ing my hand. And I'll do the same.
says he. Well court the lady synony'
mously and without any of the prud'
cry and bloodshed usual to such occa.
s1ons. And We'll be friends still, win
| or lose'
AT one side Of Mrs. Jessups eating
house was bench Under some trees
where she used to sit in the breeze
after the southbound had been fed and
gone. And there me and Paisley used
| to congregate after supper and make
partial payments on our respects tC
the lady of our choice. And we was
so honorable and circuitous in our calls
| that If one of us got there first We
! waited for the other before beginning
any gallivantery.
'.The first evening that Mrs. Jessur
knew about our arrangement I got tt
the bench before Paisley did. Sup
per was just over. and Mrs. Jessur
was out there with fresh pink dress
on and almost COO: enough to handle.
IT sat down by her and made few
specifications about the moral surface
OF nature as set forth by the landscape
| and the contiguous perspective.
:.'1 felt kind Of sensation in my lef'
side, something like dough rising In
crock by the fire. Mrs. Jessup hat
moved up closer.
"'Oh, Mr.. Hicks says she. 'wher
one is alone in the world. don't they
feel it more aggravated on a beautiful
night like this?
II rose up off the bench at once.
"'Excuse me, ma'am,' says l. 'bu1
I'll have to wait till Paisley comes be
fore l can give audible hearing tt
leading questions like that
"And then explained to her how
we was friends tinctured by years o!
embarrassment and travel and com
plicity and how we had agreed to tak'
no advantage Of each other in any o.
the more mushy walks Of life. such a:
might be fomented by sentiment an(
proximity. Mrs. Jessup appears tt
think serious about the matter for :
| minute. and then she breaks into spe
cies of laughter that makes the wild
wood resound.
I'm a few minutes Paisley drops
around. with oil and bergamot OH hi:
hair, and sits on the other side of Mrs
Jessup and inaugurates sad tale O.
adventure in which him and Piefac'
Lumley has a skinning match of deat
cows in 1895 for silver mounted sad
die in the Santa Rita valley during th'
nine months drought.
'Now, from the start of that court
ship l had Paisley Fish hobbled ant
tied to a post Each one of us had :
different system Of reaching out TO
the easy places in the female heart
Paisley's scheme was to petrify EN-
with wonderful relations of event
that he had either come across person
ally or in large print. l think he mus
have got his idea of subjugation fron
one Of Shakespeare's shows see one
called 'Othello.' There is a colore,
man in it who acquires a duke
daughter by disbursing to her mix
ture of the talk turned out by Ride
Haggard, Lew Dockstader and D1
Parkhurst. But that style Of courtin,
don't work we'll off the stage.