The Holbrook news., 1910-01-28

oiA il5Al- -NOs lHdI why ne L2
 the hospital.
 He-When shall we get marriedf
 She-Oh. John, why do you take our
 engagement 50 seriously? -Fliegende
 Blaetter
 Young Woman (adoringly)-It must
 be awfullly nice to be wise and know
 -oh-everything. Yale Senior-It is Yale Courant Il What beautiful head of hair you
 have. my dear" Do you like it?"
 ''Yes. indeed. Where did you buy it?"
 Detroit Free Press.
 Fat Lady-Yes, sir, that's the beauty
 of keeping fowls. If hever run short
 O meat. or I'm in a 'urry. I always 1 fall back on heggi-The Bystander
 Little Willie-Say, pa, what is
 synonym? Pa-A synonym. my son. is a word that can be used in place
 of another word when you don't know
 how to spell the other.-The Wasp.
 Blobbs-Why do you liken Harduppe
 to the busy bee? He's not particularly industrious. is he3 Slobbs-Oh, no; It
 isn't that; but nearly every one hs touches gets Philadelphia Record
 The trip has had it's discomforts," said Noah, as the ark settled on Mount Ararat Yes" replied his wife. But it is comfort to land without being troubled by the customs inspectors."- Washington Star
 You want a speedy car. of course?" You bet" How about a hill climb err" 'Oh. don't keer to go after pedestrians to that extent Just gim- me a machine that will get 'em on the fiat" "-Pittsburg Post.
 Wife-I don't see how you can say that MT. Whitechoker has an effem- mate way of talking. He has a very loud voice. Husband-I mean by an effeminate way of talking. my dear. that he talks all the time-Bazar
 Scot-A bohemian Is a chap who bOrrows a dollar from you and then invites you to lunch with him. Mott Wrong. A bohemian is a fellow who invites himself to lunch with you and borrows a dollar.-Boston Transcript.
 Miss Prue has a theory for reform ing the world What Is it?" That mothers ought to exchange children because they always have such strict ideas how other women's children should be brought up."-St. Louis Times.
 ! q say. Jones, dine with me at the house tonight. will you?" Certainly. with pleasure Will your wife expect me?" No that's the beauty of it We had a quarrel this morning and want to make her mad."-Peekskili 
 Father" said little RoIlo. what is the difference between farming and agriculture?" Well. my son. for farm ing you need a blow and a harrow and a lot of other implements. and for agriculture all you need is pencil and piece of paper. Washington Star
 tell you, sir I would give twenty pounds to be out of this car The Jovial Owner-You stick to your money, old man. If the railway gates 1t the foot of this hill are closed. it won't cost you a cent. - Leslie's Weekly.
 Old Lawyer (to young partner)- Did you draw up old Moneybag's will? young Partner-Yes. sir; and so tight hat all the relatives in the world annot break it. Old Lawyer (with ome disgust)- next time there is will to be drawn up I'll do It my elf.-New York Sun.
 Blacksmith (to young man)-You hink you possess the necessary lual- fications for a blacksmith? Young fan-Yes, sir; I was member of the ootball team at college. Blacksmith dubious) You may be strong enough. oung man. but this business damands rains as well as strength.-Life.
 Constituent-Say, Bill, the salary hat goes with my job isn't half nough to live on Can't you use your influence to have 1t raised little? dderman-rm afraid not. Jake. But Il do better than that. I'll use my lfIuence to have cheaper man ap- ointed to the place-Chicagc Trib nc.
 Peckham (meeting an old friend)- Thy, Dingley is this you? | haven't zen you for ten years. How are you, ayhow? Dingley-Oh, I'm just like used to be. By the way. Peckham. ,w's your wife? You used to say you ,d tbo hoSs 0irI when yOu were sin e. Peckham (sadly) still 
 Daughter-Mamma. MT. Blank pro- ,sed to me last night. Mother-Dld ,u accept him. daughter? Daughter Yes. mamma. Mother-Has he any oney. daughter? Daughter-Only ghteen hundred dollars year.