The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1910-05-20

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"Tnsse here health lecturers may
do som, good" says Uncle Jed Swish
er, "but so far as l am concerned
they make me weary. i have lived
here now for upwards of 70 years and
ct what suited me aud whenever l
wanted IL pr Ivided It was handy and
never paid no particular attention to
no rules of dietin."
II never had to call Ia doctor
since the time l was 16 when Doc.
Fisher was called ia 70 lance car
buncle on the hack az my neck. 1
have smoked my pipe for go years aad
never sec that 1t aid me any particu-
lar harm. may have took In few
million microbes more or less but II
l did 1t must have been SO much the
worse for the microbes for they never
troubled nae any 90 far rs l could
discover.
"Well, q few weeks ago there cane
along one of these here lecturers on
health. My wife and daughter con
cluded to 20 and hear him and they
come home chuck full of notiol
about food and the way to eat II.
First hey insisted that 1 must either
quit smektn, entirely or II wouldn't
do that must throw away the pipe
[ hev been smokin' fur several years.
MY daughter said that the old pipe
] was simply full OF disease germs and
that snokin' 1t would certainly
shorten my life by 20 years.
II tried to argue the thing with
her and told her that my opinion was
that no microbe could live IN that
pipe but II he could he was welcome
TO try 1t. That 1 was used to that
pipe aud did not want new one, but
1t was no use. She got hold OF tina
pipe and threw 1t int the fire and
bought me new tangled one that
don't have the taste TO 1t that the
old one did at all.
''Another notion was that the
family ought to cat out meats alto
gether. The lecturer said that meals
we're very deleterious to the health,
cIogge up the system and played hob
euerally. He said that the thing to
10 was to eat natural foods-ftuit
aud the like 50 the next morning
all found for breakfast was couple
Of raw apples. Iraised row about
it but 1t wasn't any use so all L could
10 was to mosey off down town ano
slip into a restaurant and call for
slice Of ham and q couple of fried
Eggs. am opposed to the way
restaurants dish up things but it was
a forced put With me.
when 1t come to dinner 1 helped
myself to potatoes. They looked all
right but tasted sort Of fnnly aud
finally 1 discovered that they hadn't
any salt or pepper In 'em. l asked
my wife If she hadn't made mistake
and forgot to season the grub but she
said 1t was 40 mistake, that Professor
Sizzlegood, the lecturer on health,
had couyiRced her that salt and
pepper were unnatural and unhealth-
tul foods AMI should be left out alt)
gether. l kicked and said that so fur
as was concerned l had been usin'
alt and pepper for 10 years now and
reckened that l was most too old to
Sean. But things seasoned after
they are cooked meyer does seem SO
good as when they ale seasoned in
cOokin'.
"Fhen my wife and daughter both
went after me far boltin' my feed as
they termed it. They insisted that l
should chaw every bite until 1t turned
TO water and in that way they said |
could be able tn hang on for hundred
years. told 'em that so fur as l was
concerned there was nothing particu-
lar IN jNst living IL there want going
to be any satisfaction In 1t. If hev
to eat the things l don't like and
keep on chewiu my feed like COW
chewin' her cud after I'm ready to
swallow It, then was ready to pass
On.
sit may be that this here professor
understands his business but J. have
my doubts about it. l still believe
in the old doctrine that what is
one mans meat is another mans
poison and that man ought to have
the right to what tastes good to him
and eat it his ewn way. In view OF
the fact that haven't had sick day
for about 60 years it strikes me that
my plan ISM SO bad, at least SO far
as am copcsrned.
81 have never known health
crank yet who want ailin' most of
the time. My opinion is that when