Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1910-09-16
VOLUME XxxxM
For an Idle Moment.

on the front porch. The twins were an
nOyed because each wanted exclusive
possession of solitary kitten and they
were yelling.
A neighbor paused at the gate. "Well,
Hogan" he asked, what would you take
for them children of yourn?"
Hogan shifted in his chair. "All the
money in the wurrnld couldn't buy
thim," he declared. But, he added, 81
wouldn't give tin cints apiece for any
more like Thin"
''We Yankees are commercial" said
Judge Albion E. WalcOtt of Vermont, at
commercial travellers banquet at At
lantic City; "but we're not as commercial
as the SoutherDer would make out.
"The SoHtherner declares that typical
Yankee once visited the South.
Here said guide to him one day,
here right in this room, sir, " ashington
received his first commission
"The Yankee frightened up.
"'What per cent commission was it"
he asked"
W.R. Duley, mayor of Little Rock, re-
buked the other day, apOlitical opponent
by means of an anecdote.
"The gentleman does not really an
sWer me. He quibbles," said Mayor
Duley. His words are like little farm
boys.
"Once, in the country, came upon a
little, freckled, mischievOus farm boy.
He proved to be bright and intelligent,
and | said to him:
"'Haye you lived all your life here, my
little man?'
"'No, sir; not yet he replied"
The butler of Scottish laird, who
had been in the family for many years,
resigned his place, complaining that his
lOrdship's wife was always scolding him.
IF that's all you have to complain
Of" said his master, "yOu have little ex-
cuse for leaving"
Pm not going to put up with II any
longer" was the answer.
$50, then," said the laird, signing,
"and be thankful all the days OF your
life that you are not married to her"
20
A doctor related the following story:
81 had patient who was very i'll and
who ought to have gone to warmer Gil
mate. but whose means we're insufficient,
so | resolved to try what hypnotlsm
would do for him. / had large sun
painted on the ceiling Of his room and
by suggestion induced him to think 1t
was the sun which would cure him. The
ruse succeeded, and he was getting
better rapidly when one day on my ar
rival / found he was dead
"Did it fail, after all, then?" asked the
doctors hearers.
NO." replied the doctor; che died OF
sunstrOke.
Bob was telling about his visit to the
country. While there he had acquired
some rustic idioms, and his mother was
correcting these as he proceeded:
We'll, we goes up
went up"
"Went up on the farm"
"To the farm
"To the farm, and there we see"
"We saw"
"We saw little kid"
Little child. Now, begin again and
tell it properly
"Well, we went up to the farm, and
there we saw a goats little child.'
In a Scottish village farm laborer
named "Bill' Brown lost his wife.
While on her deathbed she implOred him
to never marry again after she was gone;
furthermore, should he do so she would
scratch through the ground and come
back to punish him. The threat appar-
emily had due effect for some months,
the widower rejecting many tempting
offers. After a time, however, the vii
lage got to whispering about "Bill'' be-
ing seen walking with a certain lass.
Met one day by relative of the wife, he
asked if there was any truth i'll the ru-
NOR that was about the village, to which
he replied in the Affirmative.
"Are We no afraid of poor Mary's
threat?" queried the relative.
Nae fear o. that, my lad. [ took good
care to hae her berrit face dOOnwards, so
the mair she scratches the farther shell !
gang down.
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