The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1910-04-20

body for a mummy. Gould Mr.. Bowser
be enticed? Did he ever drink soda
water? If he saw a blow from a tack
anime coming could he sidestep it?
Would anybody buy him for a mummy
II he vas dead?
Half past s. and the strain was be-
coming intense.
Nine o'clock, and the police tele-
phoned that a man had just leaped
from the forty-eighth story of a sky
scraper and that his remains had been
picked up in a hat. It was supposed to
be a case of unrequited love. Might
or might not be MI. Bowser-what did
she think?
Half past 8, and Mrs. Bowser called
up the family doctor on the telephone.
Dr.. sokem on the Phone.
Eyes, this is DR.. Sokem. What's
wanted? Who is it? Oh, Mrs. Bowser,
ell? Well, has Bowser started for the
north pole yet? Hasn't come home
this evening and you are worried?
Don't you go into fits over Bowser.
Never can tell what he'll do next, you
know. Dead? Nonsense! He'll come
home all right and explain things. May
have stopped somewhere to look at a
flying machine. Good night!'
Ten. O'Clock, and no Bowser. The
wind was now moaning like a lost
soul. Mrs. Bowser listened to it and
wished she had let Mr.. Bowser buy
that squash farm. He had never been
the same since mentally, and she was
to blame for it.
Had some n come across his frozen
remains in a %snowdrift? Were they
now lifting them up tenderly? We're
they now wondering if an extravagant
wife had driven the poor man from
home? They probably were, and Mrs.
Bowser wept and resolved never to
pay over Z cents for another handker-
chief.
Eleven O'Clock by the booming bells.
1t had been Il night of terrible ankle
ty. One-two-three doomed the bells.
and the cook, who had been asleep on
the kitchen table, came up to 60 to her
room and halted to say:
IF he's dead then he is dead, and
we can't help it. Let us hope that he
persisted happy and that his last
thought was Of u.s."
eowser Falls In.
Half past II, and something bulky
fell against the front door and paved
around. Why keep the world on
tenter hooks? 1t was Mr.. Bowser.
With a great sigh of thankfulness Mrs,
Bowser opened the door, reached out
for a coat collar, and then with a great
jerk at it she announced:
Come in here, young man. and ex-
plain yourself"
Mr.. Bowser came in. He made rail
fences through to the sitting room,
dropped into a chair, and after looking
around the room in a vacant way he
asked:
cam l homer"
"Yes."
"Are you Mrsh. Bowsher"
"Yes."
"Well. I'll tell you whasher mazzer
1 Joined club tonight-new club-club
called 'Shober Old Dubs.' Over forty
shober old dubs there. and I never had
sho much fun in my life. Mrs. Bow
sher, If you was only shober old dub
I'd have you join. Would FIR a fack.
l wanted to come home. but they
wouldn't let me. They stood me on
my head when l wanted to come
home. Was you crying FIR me, Mrsh.
Bowsher.''
well talk this over in the morn
ing" said Mrs. Rowser in severe
tones.
"But why not talk it over t'night,
when I'm PERFECTLY shober? 1 may
not be in 'er morning. Mrsh. Bowsher.
is That our front door out zhere?"
"Of course"
"And does it know me?"
ut ought to-"
"Zhen why did it strike at me and
tell me to go way back when l come
homer
Mr.. Bowser was assisted upstairs
and to bed, and when morning came
and Mrs. Bowser started to say some
thing he cut her off with:
1.-THE next time l am out late buy
ing real estate don't make a ninny Of
yourself and add two or three dollars
to the gas bill. When l came up in
the taxi I thought the house was On
fire."