The Yale expositor., 1910-01-28

of your good sense. have not been
making love to Miss Holbrook!" l de-
clared, angrily, and knew in my heart
that l lied.
well, Irishman," he exclaimed with
entire good humor; "let us not bring
up mine host to find us locked in NOR
tai combat"
What the devil did you bring me up
here for?" demanded.
-Oh, just to enjoy your society.
get lonesome sometimes. / tell you a
man does get lonesome in this world
when he has nothing to lean on but a
blooming button factory and STEP
mother who fits among the worlds ex-
pensive sanatoria. / know you have
never had Button, button, who's got
the button?' chanted in your ears, but
may l ask whether you have ever
known the Joy of a stepmother? l
can see that your answer will be an
unregretful negative"
He was quite the fool again, and
stared at me vacuously.
my stepmother is not the common
type of juvenile fiction. She has never
attempted during her widowhood to
rob the orphan or to poison him. Bless
your Irish heart, no! She's a good
woman, and rich in her own right, but
l couldn't stand her dietary. She's
afraid I'm going to die, Donovan!
She thinks everybody's going to die.
Father died of pneumonia and she said
ice-water in the finger-bowl did it, and
she wanted to have the butler ar
rested for murder. She had a new
disease for me every morning. 1t was
worse than being left with a button
works to draw a stepmother like that.
She ate nothing but hot water and
zweibach herself, and shuddered when
/ demanded sausage and buckwheat
cakes every day. She caught me one
day clearing up a couple of chickens
and a mug of Bass with the gardener,
and it was all over. She had noticed,
she said, that had been coughing of
late-I was doing a few cigarettes too
many, that was all-and wired to New
York for doctors. She had all sorts,
Donovan-alienists and pneumogastric
specialists and lung experts.
THE people on Strawberry Hill
thought there was a medical conven-
ton in town. I was kidnapped on the
golf course, where l was about to win
the eastern Connecticut long-drive
cup; and locked up in a dark room at
home for two days while they tested
me. They made all the known tests,
Donovan. They tested me for dis
eases that haven't been discovered
yet and for some that have been ex-
tinct. since the days Of Noah. You can
see where that put me. ] was afraid
to fight or sulk for fear the alienists
would send me to the madhouse. I
was afraid to eat for fear they would
think that was a symptom, and every
time | asked for food the tape-worm
man looked intelligent and began pre-
scribing. while the rest of them were
terribly chagrined because they hadn't
scored first. The only JOY ! got out
of the rumpus was i'm hitting one of
those alienists a damned hard clip in
the ribs. and I'm glad I did H. He was
feeling my medulla oblongata at the
moment, and as / resent being man
handled / pasted him one-he was a
young chap, and fair game pasted
him one, and then grabbed a suitcase
and slid. / stole away in a clamboat
;cr New Haven. and kept right on up
into northern Maine. where I stayed
with the Indians until my fathers re-
lict went on broken hearted to Bad
Neuheim to drink the waters. And
here am. by the grace Of God, In