Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-06-24

Flanigan-Phot would yez do If yea
lived to be 200 years old? Lanigan-
Oh don't know Brooklyn Life.
Young Hopeful-Mummy have goose
berries got legs? Mother-No, dear.
Young Hopeful-Then I've swallowed a
caterpillar.
Hushand-Why don't you act cheer
full like Mrs. Binks? Wife, would
If were widow, as she Sleeve
land Leader.
Have you noticed, my friend, how
many fools there are on earth?" Yes.
and there's always one more than you
think. "-Sourire
Teaeher-Jimmy, you look very
pale this morning Are you III? Jim
my-No, ma'am. Ma washed my face
this morning herself.
He-I asked your fathers consent by
telephone. She--What did he say?
He-He said: Il don't know who you
are, but It's all right"
Stranger -Rastas, do the people who
live across the road from you keep
chickens? Rastus-Dey keeps some OF
EN-. sah.--The Housekeeper.
Edison has perfected his invention
of cement houses which may be pour
ed" Then It's me over the hills to
the poorhouse Houston Post
Then you don't. want to leave foot
prints upon the sands of time7"
Nix" answered the politician guard
eddy "All l want ia to cover up my
tracks"
How was July Fourth observed In
your town." In the usual way; there
we're one hundred people at the town
exercises, and Ave thousand at the
| baseball game"
Traveller In Africa-This vast plain
Is, believe, what is known as the
veldt? Boer-Vell, We dom l call 1t dot
no more 1t IL now called der Roose-
veldt.-Judge.
Don't you think It looks mannish to
smoke cigarets7' said Mrs. Flimgilt
TT may look that way for a woman
to smoke them" replied Miss Cayenne.
but not for man
The Sunday school class was sing
ing Il Want to BE an Angel" Why
don't you sing louder, Bobby?' I'm
singing as loud as ! feel" explained
Bebby.-The Delineator.
Miss Bright" whispered Miss Gaus-
sip, can you keep a secret?" Yes"
replied Miss Bright, also whispering, II
can keep one as well as you can" -
Catholic Standard and Times.
Bones Ceiling story Well, tho
evening wore Oh Jones-lt did,
Ell? What did It wear? Bones
Well. II you must know. believe It
was the close of a summer day
You should dress according to the
weather" said the physician, Il try
to" replied the man with a cold. But
I'm not quick enough to keep up with
| the thermometer. Washington Star.
TapesonI suppose you'll spend the
season in Europe among the big bugsf
| rickerly-Unless the market changes
I'll be more likely to spend 1t out in
Yaphank among the potato bugs
Puck.
The wife of college professor warn
ed him as he went off to ofiiciate at
funeral one rainy day, Now. John,
don't stand with your bare head on
the damp ground; you'll surely catch
cold"
A smart Irishman was leaning
against a post when funeral process
sion passed. Who's dead?" someone
asked. Il don't know" answered the
/ freshman, but / presume It's the gen
tIsman in the coffin"
Lady-But poverty is no excuse for
being dirty. Do you never wash your
face2 Tramp with an injured air -
Pardon, lady but I've adopted this ere
dry-cleanin' process as bein' more
ealthy an I-geenic.- Punch.
Ascum-Do you think it's true that
Skinner has bought a place for him
self In society? Wise no. I'll
bet he's only leased II, for he's liable
to have to skip out at a moments no
tice-Catholic Standard and Times.
Here, here" yelled the commercial
traveller in the washroom OF the vii
lage hotel You're using my tooth
brush" Am IT. inquired the rural
guest Gee whiIlikensl Well. where's
tn one th't belongs to tn house7"--
Cleveland Leader.
Il did not know you had lost any
one by death lately" Il haven't"
Then why do you wear that black
band on your white sleeve7' That's
merely where the conductor caught
hold to help me onto the car this
noon. Houston Post
Pater-Can you give my daughter
the comforts 10 which she has been
accustomed7 Suitor-Yes, sir I've
breakfasted at your house, and I'm
certain that / can complain about the
coffee. read the paper, demand the dis
charge OF the cook and announce that
I'll dine at the club.-Cleveland Lead
err.
Cousin VIII and his sister Mary. a