The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1910-07-05
KANSAS COMAENT
HAVING A TOOTH FILLED.

HAVING A TOOTH FILLED.
Did you ever have your tooth filed !?
NO? Well, 1t is the greatest sport on
earth-for the dentist. First he hand
cuffs you and ties you in a chair that
looks like the thing you lay on when
you were operated on for appendicitis.
Then he jerks your mouth open, turns
on searchlight and begins poking
around inside with a crowbar. After
an hour or SO of jim-jamming around
he wheels up big derrick with a
well drill attached and proceeds to dig
for oil in the prospect hole he started
with crowbar. He drills right down
through your jaw on through your
lungs. your heart, your liver and ev-
erything else that happens to be in
the way and never stops until the bit
strikes IRE on the iron in the chair
seat and then only because he's afraid
OF damaging his office furniture. Then
he pulls the drill out and exchanges
the DIT Tor one of those emery wheels
that blacksmiths use for grinding thick
plowshares. After which he jams the
thing back into your mouth and slams
IL down on your jaw with all the force
at his command. And then he grinds
away at your very vitals while the
emery wheel emfts gritty whir like
no other sound on earth, but most
nearly approaching the noise of forty
big rasps sliding back and forth at
right angles across a strip of hard
steel. You pray to the Devil to come
and take you to the Internal regions
LOT little ease and Quietude, but
without avail. At last the dentist fin
ishes the grinding and prepares to
put in the tubing and cap the well.
FIRST he rams bale of cotton back
INTO the corner of your cheek. Then
he takes the blade of an old carpen-
ter's saw and jams one edge in be-
tween the damaged tooth and its next
door nA1Rhhnr Tn n ;o
tones he begs of you not to swallow
or SPIT, well Knowing that you could
90 either as easily as you could turn
Halley's comet into a can of Boston
baked beans. Having you thus hand
CURED and effectually gagged he pro-
ceeoS TO mix up mortar composed of
seven sacks of Portland cement. a half
load OF sand and two barrels of lime.
having deliberately and carefully pre-
pared this mortar he begins shovel
ing 1t into the hole and tampine II
down with railroad rail. Here you
lose consciousness and when you come
10 an hour later you find yourself re-
leased from your bonds and lying on
a couch feeling as If you had been
through rock crusher and ground
INTO ballast. The dentist announces
MS Dill and after you have explained
TO MIN that your entire earnings for
the last ten years have not totaled
nalf that amount, a compromise Ia
erected whereby he agrees to take an
order on your employer for eighty per
cent or your wages for the rest of
your natural life. He then sends for
the ambulance and you are taken
home.-Bonner Chieftain.
THE ADVANCE OF MAN
The British parliament bv nearly
unanimous vote has passed a bill to
take from the kings coronation oath
the passages that are distinctly insult
ing to the Catholics. It is only to be
wondered that this was not done long
ago and yet it is a striking demonstra-
ton of the rapidity with which the
world is growing better. Three hum
dred years ago the Protestants of Eng
land were consigning the Catholics to
perdition and the Catholics were
equally as severe in their treatment of
Protestants Three hundred years is
not long in the life of nation. The
200 years before then seem only a lit
tie lapse of time as we read Of them
In history. Bpt the last three hun
dred years has marked progress in re-
lig1ous federation, general knowledge
and universal brotherhood such as no
similar period of time has ever seen
among men.-Hutchinson News.