The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1910-07-09

on her there, asked where he was.
"Out of town." said the assistant.
Gone for a rest?' asked the wo-
man.
NO, to avoid it," replied the clerk.
~
Among Andrew Carnegie's innumer-
able Scotch stories is one about a
caddie of st. Andrews This caddie's
wife-so Mr.. Carnegie's story runs
was much troubled by her husbands
loose way of life. He could never
have a good day on the links but he
must end it with a wet night at the
tavern. So, to cure him the woman
lay in wait on the road one evening,
dressed in a white sheet.
When her husband appeared she
rose from behind hedge, an awful |
white figure with ouspread arms
who the dell are your" asked the |
Incorporate caddie.
I'm Aud Mckee" said the figure
in a hollow voice.
'Gie's a shake O. yer hand then"
said the tipsy caddie I'm married |
tae a sister O. yours. She'll be waitin'
for us up at the hose, an nae doot
she'll max We welcome"
-&&&-
A certain prosy preacher recently
gave an endless discourse on the pro
phets. First he dwelt at length on
the minor prophets. At last he finish
ed them, and the congregation gave a
sigh of relief. He took long breath
and continued, Now 1 shall proceed
to the major prophets" After the
major prophets had received more
than ample attention, the congrega-
tong gave another sigh of relief
Now that l have finished with the
minor and the major prophets" he
went on anew, what about jeremiah?
Where is Jeremiah's place." At this
point stout, apoplectic man arose in
= the back of the church. Jeremiah can
nave my place" he said, I'm going
| home"
A young woman from the city had
Deen staying on ranch up in the cat
ue-country for a few weeks. Seeing
some calves running across pasture
she exclaimed ooh what pretty cow
let's"
! Yes, miss" drawled the rancbman
pulling his mustache to conceal
smile, they are pretty, but thems
I bullets"
1t was at little northwestern town
: in New South Wales. A travelling En-
, glishman stood on the veranda of the
public house watching the sun go
, down across the Black Soil Plains in
a splendor of purple and gold.
BY jove!" he exclaimed to an i'm
passive bushman who was lounging
. against post. "That's gorgeous, isn't
e it?"
The bushman slanted his head a lit
tie and looked critically at the glow
ing west. Not bad" he drawled;
e mot bad-for little place like Bog
d gabri."
Little Johnnie had become unruly.
and his mother took down her hickory
INV Sbul lCu W o"llCH lle llILlG his
It creant, but Johnnie, realizing from
~ past experience what was coming, ran
out of the house closely followed by
the provoked mother AS she was
a about to overtake him, he dropped to
=, his knees and crawled under the
: house, from which vantage point he
defied her. The siege continued un.
til the return of the father, who, be-
ing met at the gate and told Of John
: MES conduct, Joined forces with the
mother and said, an get the little
rascal out"
Taking off his coat he proceeded to
crawl toward the boy as the mother.
with switch in hand, watched him
from the edge Just before he was
in reach of the little feet, the boy
looked back, instantly sized up the
> situation and with tone of comrade-
ship asked,
Father, is she after you, too?'
~
Dennis O'Flaharty was roadmaster
9 of a division of a Western railroad
which included several tunnels. Den
q mis- was out one morning on a tour
q of inspection, in company with his
friend, Pat Donough, who had just ar
n rived from the Emerald Isle Near
" ing one of the tunnels, they heard the
shrill whistle of the limited and step
ID ped aside till It should pass. Pat stood
N in open-mouthed wonder, as the fas
, train neared, passed, and entered thu
tunnel at the rate of fifty miles al
Ill hour.
at mon, Pat" said Dennis, as the las
st car disappeared, "ain't 1t foine? Tall
of about the wundhers of nachur-