The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1910-01-30

Uncle Sy had a triumphant CLEAN in
his eye as he entered Bud SIMPSONS
shop the other morning. Bud antici-
pated trouble, for it was not Uncle Sy's
custom to arrive SO early.
I've been reading in last months
Scribbler's magazine about them there
sufferigetties."
You must be powerful fond OF ancient
history" said Bud. I've know'd all
about them for a week"
Uncle sy was excited.
I noticed you kept dern quiet about
EN- when I was talkin' about female suf-
feridge t'other evenin'. I guess you
know'd they'd queer your argument.
Didn't I tell you that nothin' but crazy
women and few hen-pecked men wanted
the women to vote? Now, I've got the
proof square onto you. Those critters
over thar IN Ingerland, they back up my
argument TO a suttinty. Likewise, they
show what a drafted fool you is to want
to give the sacred ballot TO the women
folks. tell you Il would be sacruegious."
Yes" said Bud, cts gotten TO be
darned sacred sence they've give it to
a lot OF poor trash what's bowed into
Virginia from nobody knows where"
Uncle Sy was not to be betrayed into
any discussion OF his original home, but
trained his batteries upon the militant
ladies across the water
Them there sufferigetties is suttinly a
darlin' little bunch Of she-devils. Why
of wildcats than civilized folks. They
heave bricks at the prime minister while
he's aspeakin. They swarm around the
houses Of the cabinet officers and smash
things like Carrie Nation in booze joint
They've got no more respect for a cabinet
minister than a cannibars got for a
minister OF the gospel. They terrify the
members of Parliament worse than old
Ollie Cromwell used to do. They've
turned a lot OF men calm 'emseIves
statesmen into a passed. Of pigeon-livered
sneaks like some Use seen in this
country"
7 don't know nobody what's more
feared of women than you is"
NO" said Uncle Sy, " Use only feared
OF some Of their fool ways. If was a
member Of Parliament when them danes
come around, would start an auction
or card game pretty close by. and you
bet they'd forget all about wantin' to
vote. If that didn't work I'd turn loose a
half-dozen bats IN the House O. Commons,
and I know they'd run and boiler quick
enough. You can run a woman a heap
sight better with a bat than you can with
a club a woman knows a man amt
agoin' to hit her, unless, maybe he's
her husband. and she takes an unfair adj
vantage Of her sex in that away. But
I seen where they sent a lot Of EN- 10
jail over there. They better had OF sent
EN- to a lunatic asylum. And how you
reckon they took their spite out? They
wouldn't eat nor drink nothin' while they
was in jail The officials. they had to
hold EN- and force 'em TO take food,
same as I drench my old brindled COW
when she's sick. That was a derned fool
way to do. I'd Of just piled up a lot of
pickles and bonbons and ice cream
around 'em and stood there and watched
EN- suffer"
Il never heard Of your givin' no woman
nothin' TO eat"
NO." said Uncle Sy, that's becuz
never seen one what was worth her feed.
But them sufferigetties is becomin'
dangersome. They's goin' around now
with horse-whips under their clothes and
acuttin' and aslashin' at the biggest men
in the country. Pretty soon they'll be
usin paper-cutters and hatpins and then
they'll come to carvin' knives and maybe
some Of EN- will get UP the nerve to