Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1910-01-29

w YILLIE Collier. now playing in
New York. fully justified his
Wv title to the name of humor-
list. the other day in the
course of the following dialogue with
a New York Herald reporter.
"Hellot is this Mr.. Collier?"
'I think so. Wait minute and I'll
make sure. I'll ask my manager. Yes.
I'm me Hello. Sheriff. how are you?"
This isn't the Sheriff. This is the
Herald
BEG your pardon, Mr.. Herald,
Force of habit. Just got back from
the one night stands. Expect tho
sherin whenever the telephone rings,
on the road. Like the audiences. we
are always prepared for the worst
How's your circulation today"
Never better. viii you say some
thing about the critics for Sunday"
Il don't think Sunday would be an
appropriate day to print what I'd say
about them. Anyway l won't discuss
them over the telephone. I'm afraid of
having 1t taken out Come up and see
me and I'll tell you a lot of mean
things about them"
Where are you now?"
AT the Hudson theater."
How long are you going to be
there?"
That depends on the public"
mo fooling, Bill. You know what
| mean How long Will you be there
this afternoon
"I'n be here all day unless my
shirt comes back from the laundry.
I'll die If 1 don't get this loose talk
out of my system. Hurry up. like
good fellow. and save my life. You
know where the Hudson is. don't you
| Broadway. II you have any money
you'd better run. And keep in the
| middle of the street. When you reach
| Forty-fourth street turn to your
| right. The Hudson is one theater, two
saloons, four manicure parlors, five table
| d'hoteS and half a dozen boarding
| houses east of Broadway. Stop at the
| pay shanty and ask for me. You
can't make any mistake or they
won't rectify it after you leave the
/ window. Get all your change because
| well probably need it,
| WALKING LODGE OF SORROW.
Fifteen minutes after this telephone
tattle Mr Collier was found In his
dressing room at the Hudson theater,
where he has hitched his mlle-amin-
ute wit to "a Lucky Star" for the pur-
pose of displaying his advance spring
| styles in rapid fire repartee. In view
of his airy perslnage on the wire one
would expect to find him laughing
| himself to death. but he wasn't. His
face was as long as n through ticket
to the Philippines. Next to his abil-
ity as a comedian Mr. Collier is famed
for his solemn expression. No one has
ever caught him laughing. as far as
the records show. He's walking
lodge OF sorrow. On this occasion
the corners of his mouth were drawn
down and tied In neat bow under
his chin. An undertaken who had just
been underbid by rival couldn't have
been more detected.
Now that we are alone" said Mr.
Collier, with n touch OF pathos in his
voice. II want to apologize to you for
my part in that telephone conversa-
tlon."
You don't need to apologize. 1t
sounded very funny"
That's mighty good of YOU. old
man but I want to explain my unfor-
tunate position. l would have liked
to talk to you like a regular human
fcrson, but l didn't dare. My reputa-
ton as a funny man was at stake.
Can you imagine the ordeal of trying
to live up to such a reputation?''
The comedian bowed his head in de-
spalr and turned loose n groan that
seemed to come from the basement OF
his socks. He wrung his hands in ag-
onized fashion. but recovered sufIl-