davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10
tiently, that's just what you're doing.

tiently, that's just what you're doing.
l should think you could see you're
ieopardiZing your chances with Agatha
Sixth every time you so much as
glance at Agatha First, and really,
when you consider that you've asked
the girl to marry you and are sup
posed to be awaiting her answer with
all lovers Impotence, it doesn't look
well. II doesn't really What do you
want to do it for, anyway" l pause1
in my TRADE, but he made no motion
to answer. why, it's plain loony of
you!" I exploded in my irritation.
For a man in your position, it's posi-
lively suicidal 30 fool the way you're
doing. I shouldn't wonder at all if
Miss Lawrence refused you eventual
", and then the game would be up
indeed"
What gamer" said Arch, if you
please, just as if he didn't know What
l was talking about.
why, your aunt's property in Au7
stralia,' I beloved in his ear. 'YouI
can't inherit it if Agatha Sixth won't
marry you, can you?"
Cant II" he said simply, as if it
didn't matter at all, and I nearly lost
my patience.
How could your I returned. "The
times up in two days; is it likely you
could get anyone else to marry you in
that length of timer"
He looked up. 81 shouldn't care to
marry anyone else he said. 81 hap
pen to care about her." and his ex-
preston was so earnest and sincere
hal to believe him.
We'll, then, for heavens sake, make
little more effort to convince her
that you carei" l advised, but more
gently, and we walked on in silence.
broke it first, as he didn't seem in
clined to talk. Honest, old man." |
said, Il wish you'd tell a fellow what
you're up to! I hate to see you ma
king a mess OF this thing, for no good
reason. If you didn't like Miss Law.
renee it would be different. But you're
self-confessed as to that, and it's es-
pecially hard to bear when Dearest
and 1 have been doing our very best
to help you. Tell me what it's all
about, can't you? Why will you per
sist in running after Agatha Endicott
just at this critical stage of the
game?"
my dear fellow" he replied, I'D
tell you everything in a minute if
there were anything to tell. But there
isn't, not blooming blessed thing; 4
deny your last statement, however
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10
TEMPTATION WAS TOO GREAT
Afghan Horse Thief Gave Owner
Real" Exhibition of How AMI
NAL Was Stolen.

An Indian officer relates some good
stories Of Peshawur. which in the
early seventies" before British poll
teal influence had asserted itself be-
yond the lonely little forts OF Jam
rud" and ''Shabkadar," was a some
what disturbed locality. in spite Of
the strength of its garrison.
1t was at Peshawur che says) that
the medical officer of my regiment
was informed one night that a valu-
able and favorite Arab of his had
been stolen! Over the border. gone
Tor eVer-he never expected to see
his morse again, but next day, much %
his surprise. there came to him a
bearded ruffian. riding bare-backed the
stolen steed.
He confessed that he had taken the
animal. but. learning that it was the
property of hakim. (physicianl had
brought it back. The horse had beer
tethered in line with others, with
men. women, and children sleeping
in the open about them
How did you manage it?" asked
the doctor
If the sahib will give the necessary
order" he said, 81 will show him"
The entire scene was reproduced,
even to the night Waterman asleep in
corner. Noiselessly the Afghan
craWled towards the Arab, threading
snakelike through the PROSTATE forms
to where it was standing at the end
of the row. Softly kissing to attract
the animals attention. without caus-
ing MIN alarm, he gently raised him
self with arm extended.
In his open palm were some Jumps
or goor (native sugar.. beloved of
horses, and while the Arab was enjoy
ing these the man was caressing him
with the other hand, whence suspend
ed watering bride taken from his
wallet. Quickly this was adjusted. and
then, stroking soothingly, the robber
passed his hand over the animals
back and down tn e hinduuarters.
swiftly the heel ropes were unhitch-
ed then the headgear released. and
with bound he was astride and away
his right hand backward flung shout
ing triumphantly as he passed: Thus
was it done!"
me Joke was that he never came
back! A double restitution would
nave been too much of wrench.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10
See the HsfAf
See. the cafe!"

See, the cafe!"
Yes, gala scene it is with its
brilliant lights and rich furnishings
and fashionable women and portly
men"
do you know why the men and
women come to the cafe?"
i can see we'll what they are doing.
They are eating and drinking"
do you know why they are eating
and drinking?"
Il suppose it is because they are
hungry and thirsty"
1T is a natural mistake, but such Is
not the case"
do you, then, o Sage, tell me why
they are eating and drinking"
Because they are not hungry and
thirsty"
you talk In paradoxes."
mot at all. You do not understand.
They do not know what 1t is tc be
hungry AMI thirsty. If they were hun
CRY and thirsty they would be in the
bread line or at home eating real food
instead Of dainties and corrections
and drinking real water instead of
stimulants and narcotics
"But you do not explain why they
eat and drink what they do not need"
''To show they have money and to
show they have time-money to spend
in overin diligence and time to spend
in letting the effects wear Off"
And do they perform no useful SER
vice?"
mo To perform useful service is
to produce, which is not respectable.
It is respectable only to consume. -
Life.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10
SYNOPSIS.

Archibald Terhune. a popular and in
dolent young bachelor of London, re-
ceiyes news that he has been made heir
10 the estate Of his Aunt Georgiana, with
an income Of $4,000 a year, on condition
Shat he becomes engaged TO be married
within ten days. Failing to do so the
legacy will 90 to a third cousin in Amer
lea. The story opens at Castle Wyckoff
where Lord Vincent and his wife, friends
Of Terhune are discussing plans to find
him R%fe within the prescribed time. It
seems that Lady Vincent is one Of seven
persons named Agatha, all close girlhood
chUrns. She decides to invite two of them
n the castle and have Archie there as
one of the guests. Agatha Sixth strikes
Archie as a handpainted beauty. Agatha
First is breezy American girl. Lady
Vincent tells her husband that Agatha
Sixth already cares for Archie He gains
from Agatha Sixth the admission that
she cares for him, but viii require a
months time fully to make up her mind
Agatha First, neglected by Tarhune re-
ceives attentions from Leslie F'reer. Four
days Of the precious time have passed
when TeThune is called to London on
business. Agatha First on the plea Of
sickness, excuses herself from a motor
trip planned by the Vincents. Later they
see Agatha First picking flowers with a
strange man. The Vincents discuss
Agatha's seeming duplicity The follow
ing day the party visits the ruins Of an
old convent. TerhUne continues his at
rentions to Agatha Sixth
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10
Mans Riuhts and PRIVILEGES,

One privilege which man exercises
Is that of being absolutely helpless
when it is a question of looking for
anything. and he considers 1t his nat.
ural. inherent right to have some
woman find things for him. The aver
age feminine responds every time, for
she realizes the urgency of the situa-
ton. When he tries to look for some
thing, as rule the after-appearance
of the place would make chaos, house
cleaning and the tail of cyclone
turn pale green at their inefficiency.
In the house his wife finds his hat,
cravat and other possessions. In fact,
ii is a family tradition that great-grand-
father used to ask, ma. where's my
shirt?" and for great-grandmother to
respond, I'm aware. Mr. Clark. / did
not hand 1t to you. but I laid it right
beside your bed" But he asked her
next time just the same. She knew
he would
In the office he stands in the middle
of the room and asks where his letter
book Is. That book has been always
In one spot for the past five years.
In the days of the garden of Eden
Eve had to find the apple and give it
to Adam.-Life.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10
The UpIift Movement.

When he left the house Saturday
morning Burton yanked at the door as
if he would pull it of its hinges
When he couldn't open it he started
to grumble until his wife came to his
assistance.
'What'n blueblazes is the matter
with this door," h grumbled. giving
It another powerful yank without be-
ing able to omen 1t.
1.-THE trouble with you. John dear"
the wife ventured. SIS that you are al
ways down on verything-down in
the mouth. down on the world. Let
me try it."
With q gentle tug upward on the
knob she easily opened the door
John was about to sputter out a
sarcastic remark when the .orce of
his wife's logic sank in his thick
skull
81 get it," he exclaimed. Il get the
lesson"
That afternoon when his wife Wis
tied his Office she saw over his desk
a little motto with the words. me for
the Up1ift'
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10

My wife and I left alone, she broke
at once into lamentation. Her plans
were all going astray, she declared.
Matchmaking was perfectly horrid
and she would never, no, never. I'M
dertake it again. AS for Archibald,
she gave him up. She couldn't under
stand it, at all. Why couldn't he
make up his mind which girl he
wanted and stick to it? A man who
only mad ten days in which to choose
wife had no business to go on as
he did. Why. she'd never get him
married, and he'd lose his fortune.
But that wasn't the most important
point to be considered by any means.
What bothered her most was that
poor Agatha Lawrence had fallen in
love with the marplOt. and so far as
she could see-and this in spite of her
best efforts-the poor girl was des-
tined to lose him after ALI o, it
was really too bad. Terhune was
too, too trying l must really speak
to him and find out what he meant
by playing fast and loose like that I
give you my word I've seldom heard
her 90 on so about anything. She
really felt distressed by the unaccount-
able AMI rather mysterious color our
matrimonial project had assumed, and
was much concerned for Agatha
Sixth's happiness. The other Agatha
We did not seem to be as interested
in somehow. as she had neither hus-
band or fortune at stake with which
to enlist our special sympathies.
After all, Wilfred," she said, heav-
ing a deep sigh. ''the course of true
love never did run smooth"
Nor yet the course of true match
making!" 1 answered and we strolled
down the siIe of the little hill where
the picnic had been to go and look
for wild flowers ourselves.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10
SIXTEEN HEAD CABBAGE

Julius Weinstein, who tills the soil
In an humble way on a bit of land
fronting on Blue Hill avenue. Rox-
bury, Mass, was very much sur
rrised farmer this season when he
watched a bunch of cabbages break
through the ground. There were many
of the usual size and shape. but some
how or other sort of brotherly at
tachment was formed between a
bunch of heads so that they insisted
on playing the role OF Siamese twins
eight times over.
When they had reared themselves
about a foot above the ground Mr.
Weinstein cut short their existence in
the soil and he then had fine freak
to show his neighbors. 16 heads Of
cabbage on one stalk.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10
A Chinese Wedding

the maids follow and the bride echoes
IN the chorus. Then all the brides
maids leave the table. and the discon-
ISOLATE mother takes a seat beside the
chair c. state, where the bride sits.
The bridegroom now enters. with
four of his best men. The men pick
UP the thlone on which the bride sits
and, preceded by the bridegroom. form
in procession and walk around the
room or into an adjoining parlor, sig
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10

A child has been born at Willesden.
Eng, with the left arm missing from
few inches below the shoulder. AS
having bearing on the occurrence it is
stated that some months ago the
mother was motoring when an acct
dent occurred, the motor coming into
collision with another vehicle. The
motor car drivers left arm was so
badly crushed In the collision that 1t
had TO be amputated almost immedi-
ately.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10

A Chinese marriage is all ceremony
no talk, no levity, and much crying
The solemnity of funeral prevails
After the exchange of presents the
bride Is dressed with much care. A
feast is spread upon q table. to which
the blushing bride Is led by five OF
her best female friends. They are
seated at the table, but no one eats
The utmost silence prevails, when
finally the mother leads off In a cry,
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10

Far away in Asia Minor, under the
shadow of a high. sharp hill. two bro
ken columns have stood for centuries,
looking toward a little river, alone.
rising from mass Of vegetation that
covers the fallen tops of two or three
Of their fellows. They are beautiful
Ionic columns. and they mark all that
is left of the city of the man whose
name still stands today for wealth in
acknowledgements. king of Lydia,
who ruled in Sardis. The columns
had not been disturbed for many cen
turtles, probably not since the year
II, when suddenly 1t came into the
mind of an American to go and find
their secret. The American was Prof.
H. c. Butler of Princeton university,
the well-known archaeologist. and he
had little difficulty In interesting
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10
RAISES SIX-lNCH GERANIUM.

Richard Diener, a gardener at Col
ma, Cal. has perfected a geranium
that is six inches in diameter, which
is pronounced by experts to be one of
in floral culture. Diener also has pro.
duced carnations four Or five inches
in diameter by crossing them with the
Prosperity pink He has secured
fifty-seven varieties of dahlias and Is
now trying to produce blue dahlia
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10

enough people to start well-equipped
expedition. The expedition pitched It's
tents at the foot of Mount Tolmus and
promptly began to dig. The result
has been Unexpectedly satisfactory
Sardis was a new field for the ex-
plorer, and it was confidently expected
that interesting ruins would be I'm.
earthed, but nobody thought that In
less than year the expedition would
uncover one of the largest Greek tenn
pies ever discovered and find the re-
mains of one Of the earliest civilizs-
tons hid under the sands of Asia MI
nor. They have. too, statuettes, In
scriptions, and so on which may en-.
able them practically to reconstruct
the age of ld-glamored Crcesus and
the many centuries before and after
him.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10
a Fat Reducer

Before starting to starve or drug
of your extra layers of fat try the
effect of this simple exercise. which
is Il great reducer of adipose tissue.
Standing with knees close together,
rise on the tips of the toes. and. at the
same time, elevate the chest and force
down the palms of the hands as il
pushing hard on a board Bend the
hands up slightly so the muscular
strain. comes OH the f1eshy part of the
hand close to the wrist.
Do this whenever you happen to
think of it during the day. and you
will soon notice a decided difference
in your flesh. particularly in a promt
nSnt abdomen.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10
CURIOUS RELIC IS FOUND.

A curious and interesting specimen
Of the fine work of a famous old
American engraver, A. W. Overbaugh,
has just come to light in little Staten
island town. The relic is an ancient
gold dollar in the center of which. in
circle one-sixth of an inch in diam
eter, Overbaugh engraved the Lords
Prayer The inscription cannot be
read with the naked eye, but is per
fectly distinct with the aid of glasses.
At the bottom of the circle Overbaugh
added his name. The engraving was
done on wager.
The coin will go to one of the New
York museums.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10
PARTRIDGE WITH GUINEA

L. P. sease of Morris Ford has a
flock Of IA young guinea about three
months old. Several weeks ago a
full grown partridge Joined the flock.
going with them all day and nesting
under the mother hen at night. At
times the guineas come into his pi-
azza and the partridge flies on the BAN
lister and whistles as the guineas cry
"Potrack" The partridge is as tame
as the guineas and appears perfectly
happy In its new life and with it's
gentle associates.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10
The Important ereonaoa

"Are you the owner of this place ."
asked the book agent.
81 am" replied Farmer Corntossel.
Anything | can do for your
NO The chances are that you are
too hard-worked to have time to read
anything, and that you haven't any
spare change anyhow. Let me talk tc
the hired man."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10
Make Use of Spare Time.

Young man, don't sit with folded
hanus, calling on Hercules. Help
yourself. Take an hour every day
from your frivolous pursuits, employ
that hour proftably on some hobby.
and If only of ordinary capacity you
will master some scierce. Try the ex.
pertinent. Even though you may now
be an ignorant man. you may become
a well-informed man in ten years
Hundreds who have had no better op-
rortunities than you have risen abovs
the commonplace But they made
more of their spare time.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10
QUEER DROWNING SEQUENCE

The story Of most remarkable
string Of drowning fatalities comes
from Rome. One evening the two
sons of Captain Partini were drowned
while bathing in the River TibeT. Cap
tain Partini's nephew, Max, was
drowned at the same spot next day.
An expert swimmer who attempted to
save Max was also drowned. little
later a boy Of seven was drowned al
most at the same place on the river,
thus making five victims within
twelve hours.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10
His Disappearance

Did you ever get on the track OF
that boarder whom you thought
skipped and left you in the lurch a
month ago?"
"Oh, yes, We found him, all right,
and the joke was on he"
Where had he gone tor
Why, had a chance to rent his
room yesterday and found him in the
folding bed"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10
PRAYER Receptacle.

A deaf old lady in Ansonia. Conn,
sent for clergyman. as she was We
sick. and needed ministerial consola-
ton After talking on general relig-
ious topics. the good man inquired if
It was her wish that i should pray
with her "Sartinly. minister. sartinIy. %
was the reply The sick one fumbled
around her bed. and finally produced
an old-fashioned ear trumpet. with
the request. as the minister opened
his prayer book, that he should pray
into that"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10
The Cheerful Side.

"Jornes must feel terribly over the
loss of his wife. She was literary,
wasn't she?"
Yes. He was all broken up at
frst, but now he's cheerful again. It's
given him chance to try wife who
can cook. Detroit Free Press.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10

on bank holiday, and he got on its
back He had no control over the
animal owing to his drunken condition,
and the horse took him straight into
the yard of the central police station.
After his arrival there the defendant
said to the police sergeant: IT wish
you would Kill that horse for bringing
me here The chairman said the
horse had shown a wonderful intelli-
gence, and fined the defendant five
shillings and costs.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10
NOT INTENDED THAT WAY

In the outskirts of Peekskill, N. T..
is a small chapel with the unique
name Gates of Heaven" A sign
the building.
When the pastor went on his va
cation another sign was placed under
the first. Here is what the passer-by
read:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10
Added Years.

Young Wife-Tomorrow will be my
twenty-f1fth birthday.
Hubby-Why, year ago, just before
our wedding, you told me you
were 90.
Y. Yves, but we women age rap
idly after marriage.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10
Always Talking.

Rodrick-Yes, that is national
woman's club on the other floor. They
take much interest In all the leading
questions of the day.
Van Albert-Indeeed. Are they in
terested in conservation?
Rodrick-No, they are too much i'll
terested in conservation.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10
HORSE AS POLICEMAN

An amusing incident was related to
the Dudley (Eng.) magistrates recent
ly, when William Jackson OF Upton,
was charged with drunkenness. The
defendant found a horse in the street
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10
Going Some.

is your little son making much
progress at SCHOOL,
We'll, yes; in way. I understand
be had six sweethearts at the end of
the second week"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10
a Hard Case,

He-"Well, l don't know. 1t must be
considerable of a strain on an angel
to keep his halo on. "-Somerville
Journal.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10
Division of Population.

Dividing the population roughly into
children, adults and old people. the
proportion of children is decreasing.
that of adults increasing and that Of
old people stationary.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10
Discovered at Last.

why do you Bostonians eat baked
beans?" we asked of the native.
Because" he explained, I'VE find
they are more digestible than the raw
product"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10

nifying that he is carrying her away
to his own home The guests then
throw rice at the happy couple.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10
CHAPTER VIII.

It was on the return trip to the cas-
tie that I found an opportunity to talk
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10
PLACE FOR A FISH PICNIC

pictured herewith Is known as the
Fish Hot-Pot Spring and is situated
in Yellowstone Lake, in the middle OF
tiny island on which the angler ia
standing. The island is really the top
of the cone of submerged geyser OF
natural hot water. Fish caught from
the lake are cooked Immediately in
this strange hot spring.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1910-11-10

In the gardens of the British Agency
If Zanzibar are to be seen several
specimens of the Zanzibar SUM, an
especially pretty little animal that is
not often seen In captivity. Indeed,
1t is seldom seen in its native haunts,
which are the widest parts of the ISL
md and are covered with dense scrub.
The SUM also occurs on the mainland
of Africa. The captives in the Agency
gardens thrive, and each of the does
has produced a young one.