Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1910-06-17

j Mary? With what motive are you
leaving? Cook-It amt a motives
mum; it's a policeman. BostoRl
Courier.
1T seems to me that | have seen
you before" You have, my lord Z
used to give your daughter singing les-
sons Twenty ars!"-Cassell's
| Magazine
Little Boy-I want 4 dose of castoS
oil Drugglst-Do you want the kind
you can't faster Little Boy (Rnxious
to get even mo, sir; it's for mother
San Jose Citizen.
Usher-Ladies, the audience wishes
you to keep still during this perform
ance Ladies-Heavens Is 1t possi-
bic that the audience hasn't heard this
old opera before ?-Cleveland Leader.
Marie (embroidering)--I need
new stiletto. Elsie-What is a stilet-
to? May Bingham-Oh. don't you
know? It's book that tells you all
| about the grand operas. -Shnrps and
Flats.
Well how's things2' Fine" re-
piled the author. Tho critics pro-
nounced my last novel so worthless
that l have six publishers bidding for
my next book" Louisville Courier
Journal.
Can you tell me how to live 100
yeGrs?" The philosopher stroked his
beard thoughtfully. II win try" he
said 'if you can give any good rea-
! son for wanting to live 100 years
Stray Stories
Stranger (mysteriously) like to
get into gambling game of some
sort. Where can l go? Tired Look
! ing Man Whispering Over to the
office of that justice Of the peace. He'll
marry you.--St Louis Star,
Higgins-H How were the areoplane
races yesterday? Virgins Good, only
for the fact that the track was too
! heavy for making records. Higgins
/ What do you mean? Virgins They
were pulled off over Pittsburg. you
| know.-Pucl.
"Ah, Mr. Jimsoll,' exclaimed the
kittenish lady with the plenitude of
powder on her face you must re-
member / am a daughter of Eve"
We'll, honestly" replied tho blunder.
ing man. you don't look half that
old."--Chicago Post.
Mr. Slimpurse latter decided re-
fusal)-I know what tho matter Is.
It's because | am poor. You would
marry me If / were rich. Miss Gailis
(thoughtfully Perhaps so. but you
would have to ne very. very rich
New Orleans Plea yune
Suburbanite- went out to look at
that piece of property you advertised
as being stones throw from the de-
pot Real Estate Agent-Weil? Sub
urbanite-Alf I've got to say is that
I'd like to meet the man who threw
the stone ST. Louis Star.
Rural Theater Mannger-That fell
low Shakespeare must be maxim all
kinds Of money Travelling Manager
why so? Rural Theater Manager
Because every repertory troupe that
plays this town puts on ono or two
pieces by him.-Milwaukee News.
by the way continued the near
sport, who is the lightweight cham
pion of American" ut is still mat
ter of doubt" answered the wise guy.
Some claim the title for the coal
dealer, while others say the iceman is
entitled to ft."--Chicago Daily News
Pardon me, madam. bat the way
that man across the aisle is staring
at you must be very offensive. DO
you wish me to interfereT' "Oh. no.
thank you. That's my husband"
Your husband" Yes. He's very
near sighted and thinks I'm somebody
else Cleveland Plain Dealer
DO you enjoy huntingg" mo"
Perhaps you have never had favor
sport What have you huntsd most
, ly? Before / was married gener-
ally hunted for boarding place.
/ Since then most OF my hunting has
/ been for fiats."-Chicago Record Her
! aid.
! Life amt nothin' but disappoint-
ment," groaned the Chronic Crouch.
/ Cheer upl" urged the Cheerful Mutt.
Didn't you git $50 fer putin yer
picture In the paper hB hayan ben
cured o all yer Ills by Bunk's PiIls?'
Yes, / did. An now all nay relatlfs
are askin' me why don't go to work,
now tht I'm euredt'' Cleveland
Leader.
! Good Man--Ah, my poor fellow, I
feel sorry for you. Why don't you
/ work? When / was young, for ten
( years / was never IN bed after 5. An
hours work before breakfast. then
( five hours work, then dinner. then
+ four hours more work, then supper,
then bed, then up again at next
morning Loafer-l sag. boss,
where did ye serve your time Sing
! Sing or Joliet Columbian Magazine.
TOO Lavish.
! Mrs Dobbs was trying To find out
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