The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1910-04-07

hing particular about me?" mo; he
never was particular what he said
about you."-Stray Stories.
Good heavens! What is the mat
err" "The people on the second story
lave gone away and left their auto
piano playing.'-Fliegende Blaetter.
Mistress-Anna, you've been wear
ng my patent leather shoes again.
Anna-So sorry, ma'am, but 1 always
mistake them for my rubbers.-Meg-
gendorfer Blaetter.
Willie-Ma, can't l go out on the
street for a little while? Tommy Jones
says there's a comet to be seen. Moth
sr-Well, yes; but don't you go too
lear.-Boston Transcript.
DO you give your wife an allow
ince?" Yes" How much do you
allow herr" Don't you think it is
:ather impertinent for you to ask what
ny salary is?"-Houston Post.
But why do you put your friends
.hings in the dining room?" ooh, he
IS so used to restaurants that he won't
enjoy his dinner, unless he can watch
ais hat and coat."-Louisville Courier
Journal.
Motorist-As it is my fault that you
damage at once. How much do you
want? Victim-How much does the
gracious gentleman usually pay?-Flie-
yende Blaetter.
Post Office Clerk-You've put two
Jenny stamps on your letter. The post
lge is only n penny. Old Irishman
Sure, niver mind. My sons in the
post office, so it'll all help towards his
wages.-Tit-Bits.
Died in poverty" cried the philos-
,pher, .scornfully. Died in poverty,
lid he, an you expect me to sympa-
:hiZe? Gorstrooth, what is there in
lying in poverty? I've got to live in
sporting Times.
Hubby-Tm really quite proud Of
Tou. You've actually saved some
money out of your allowance. Wife
Yes. 1t was SO simple! I wish l had
.hought before to have things charged.
Chicago Daily News.
Miss Sweet-It is just the sort of N
,agement ring l preferred. None Of
ny others were nearly so pretty. How
thoughtful Of you! George-Not at all,
lear. This is the ring l have always
lsed.-Kansas City Journal.
Yes. 1 was fined $500 for putting
'oloring matter in artificial butter"
Well, didn't you deserve it," per
laps. But what made me mad was
hat the judge who imposed the
inc had dyed whiskers. Cleveland
Leader.
shes going on the stage" rs that
10? She can't sing, and l saw
Ter act" Il know, but that's all she
AN do. Her husband deserted her,
md she never learned to work at any
hing before she married. Detroit
Free Press.
please, ma'am," said the servant
there's a poor man at the door with
wooden legs" why, Mary" answered
he mistress, in a %reproving tone,
what can we do with wooden legs?
Fell him we don't want any."-Lippin-
.ott's Magazine.
well, here l am" announced the
fashionable physician in his breezy
way. And now what do you think
is the matter with your Doctor, l
hardly know murmured the fashion
tble patient. What is new?'-Louis-
7ille Courier-Journal.
81 am told that King Edward sends
| daily message to his chef compli-
nenting him on his dinner" yes"
answered Mr.. Crosslots, W are all of
,ne common humanity. Even a king
las to go out of his way to jolly the
.ook."-Washington Star.
Visitor-It must be a gigantic task
20 run a great newspaper like yours.
Editor-Not at all. It's the easiest
hing in the world. Dozens of my
friends as well as perfect strangers
come in mere every day to tell me how
% run it.-Chicago Tribune.
Seymour-Why did you leave Elan
aigan's boarding house? Ashley
There was too much sleight-of-hand
work going on. Seymour-Sleight-of
hand work? Ashley-Yes; Mrs. Flan-
,igan got the coffee and the tea from
same pot.-Chicago News.
The Judge-Did you arrest this
chauffeur for speeding? The Police
nan-No, yer honor; I pulled i'm in
Ter obstructin' tn road; he was goin'
thirty miles an hour, an he was com
planned about by them that was riding
1t tn regular rate.-Chicago News.
DYING Plumber (to son)-Youll find
[ amt bin able to leave you much
money, Bill; it's all got to go to yer
mother and sisters. But I've be-
,ueathed you that there job at Mug
ey's we've bin at such a time. Don't
urry over it, Bill, and it'll always keep
rou out of want, anyway.-Tit-Bits.
Honey, I can. find a retraction of
hat story about your sisters elope-
nent with the Chinese cook after poi
,oning her husband and forging her
ather's name to a $4,000 check!
Where did you see it?" TITS inside,
nv dear, next to the Lost and Found
column, and about the size of a pure
!ood label."-Life.
"John-John,' whispered Mrs. Gidge-
v, nudging her husband. What is
t?e he sleepily asked. There's a bur-
ylar in the house" What do you
want me to do-get up and run the
:isk of being killed." NO; but if you