The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-02-14
THE FUNNY SIDE
 OF RA|LROAD|NG How Farmer Rides Free for
 Year on Receipt FOR A LOAD OF WOOD AsricuitursIist stops Continental Linn ited nt NbistlinE Post to Mail Letter-Some Good Stories
 of the Road
FOR A LOAD OF WOOD

covered more miles than any other conductor iil the employ of the com pany. In the last 20 years he claims he has ridden more than 1,50o,oeo miles, and that his train has carried a passenger for each mile. He began railroading in 1865 and has been actively engaged in the business since thon. lis home is in Peru, Ind.
 Recently Mr Cnrran told Of a Wabash farmer Sho lives near the rail road and close by whistiing station, who, one day, wishing 10 get a letter off somewhere, rushed cut on the track, the train. He Nsnt to the mail car and put his letter into the slot The condue- tor saw him about ttat time and said:
 'Loolie here, don't you know you cant stop this tran?''
 Well, by gum. replied the agrieuItur- ist, q did stop it-Continental Limited at that"
 At another iine Conductor Curran sent q new brakeman 10 put two hobos off the train who were riding the blind baggage. The brakeman hopped the car at Logans- port and asked:
 Where you fellows goingP'
 ITO Fort Wayne" was the reply.
 Well. you can't go to Fort Wayne on this train-thts is the Continental Limited so get off
 You get' came the reply. and as the new brakeman was locking into the busi- ness end of q sun hc took the advice given him and--aad "got"
 He went back into tho car where the conductor was on his fare collecting tour and the latter asked him If he had put the fellows off, the brakeman making answer this wise
 No, MT. Curran, I did not have the heart to put them off. They want to go to Fort Wayne, and, besides, they are old schoolmates of mine"
 Conductor Gnrrau declared that as soon as he arrived at Wabash he would put them off himself. He went over to the car and met with the same experience as the brakeman. When he got back to one of the rear coaches the brakeman said
 Well did you put them off?"
 Nav, they's schoolma tes of miiNe too'
 Apropos of this particular conductor and brakeman. a young man on a certain occasion and on this particular train mo- ticed 8 poor woman who stood up and searched her pocket wildly.
 bSeu TUDpeu, madam ne inquired.
 "On, no,' she answered. put it's just as bad. I've lost my ticket and I've got no money 1he railroad will arrest me for fraud,
 Well" said the young man, "Tye got no money, either, but here, rake my tick ct and I'll give the brakeman & problem"
 When the brakeman came through the young man, to confuse him, kept moving about the car Finally, though he was cornered
 "Tickets,' said the brakeman.
 You've got my ticket" said the young man.
 q haven't got it." said the brakeman.
 Yes, you have
 wen see about this. I'll call the con ductor''
 When Conductor Curran came he said to the young man with scowl:
 "Where's your ticket?''
 He's got my ticket" was the reply. See if he hasn't got ticket with small piece off the corner"
 ''Why, yes. you have. Jim. There it is." said the conductor reproachfully.
 And heres the piece, said the young man. See if it doesn't fit
 It fitted, and the conductor and brake man went off arguing and gesticulating, while the young man remarked
 q thought that was problem they wouldn't answer
 An old-time conductor on the Louisville and Nashville railroad tells a atory about James Guthrie. MT. Guthrie, besides be- ing Secretary Of the Treasury under James Buchanan. was also president of the Louisville and Nashville and resi- dent of Louisville.
 In the early days of railroading there were no printed passes as at present. printed, albeit they were decidedly few and far between from what pases were once-aud Mir Guthrie would frequently write a pass for a friend on a. scrap of paper. The conductors on the road would, of course, honor these. One farmer car ried piece of paper purDorting to be a pass, the conductor honored 1t. but later grew suspicious, and ono day took 1t up. He carried 1t to the cffice of President Guthrie.
 "A farmer has been riding on this pass for g. year. Do you want him to continue to use it?''
 President Guthrie put on his glasses, looked the paper over carefully and said:
 Why, this Is not a pass. It Is \ re- ceipt I gave fellow Tor load or wood about year ago.
 A good trsi conductor admires the accuracy of his watch above most the things in this life. It is sort of passion with him. and he gives his watch as much care as his wife would give the baby. And, in a way, rightly, too.
 One old trainmau who has five gold bands on his sleeve, which stand for 25 years service on one road, goes even more to the extreme than most of his fellows in this respect. He has an old Swiss watch which belonged to his fa ther. It has never run down since it was wound up for the first time, some 50 years ago, and 1t has never been more than a half minute out of the way.
 conductor brought his train in for the Sunday.
 The writer met him as he was going to the office to report his train.
 Work over?' I queried.
 "Yep," snapped the conductor, as shortly as his ticket punch.
 "Well, suppose you take a good rest every Sunday. Sleep all day, don't you?' I questioned.
 No. I get up at 6 every Sunday morning. just the same. I'd like to sleep, and hate to set the alarm clock at every morning In the week. If it was only an hour later on Sunday l think, might enjoy it more"
 well. why don't you sleep an hour later seeing your times your own, and you don't have to go to work?'
 Can't" sighed the conductor.
 "Why not?"
 Have to get up anl wind my watch"
 It was at railway station. He passed throuah tho gate iusi as the train start.