The San Francisco call., 1910-10-13
WOMAN TIRED OF
RELATIVES Charm
Sister in Law Was Most Charm
ing Woman in the Whole
WOrld-but

Well, my husbands sister Amelia
has gone home at last. and I'm glad of
it, remarked Mrs. Cumback as she
took wicker chair on the Wagstan
porch.
She's a charming woman, isn't
she?' asked Mrs. Wagstaff.
Yes, she is the most charming
woman in the world. Everybody says
she's a lovely character, and although
she's only been visiting US three weeks
the whole town was at the depot to
see her off, and a lot of women cried
when the train pulled out. oh, yes.
Mrs. Wagstaff, she was charming
woman, but I'm glad she's gone. L
don't want to be charmed any more"
What was the trouble?"
when you went to school didn't you
read about an old Greek who was
called Aristides the Just? He ran for
some office, I think and the voters
were SO tired of hearing him called
the Just that they defeated him shame
fully. That's the way l feel about
Mr.. Cumback's sister. I've been a
nonentity in my own home for three
weeks and I'm tired of it. People were
coming in every afternoon and even
ing and they'd drink tea and eat cakes
and things. and if they spoke to me it
was just to say how charming my
sister in law was.
speaking for myself, l don't like
those efusive women who are as med
dlesome as they can be and try to dis
guise their impudence by smiling and
calling you pet names. Amelia was
always finding fault with everything I
did, and she did it in such way that
it was impossibleSto quarrel with her.
She'd come into the kitchen, where she
had no business to be, and If she saw
me making apple dumplings she'd
come up with three thicknesses of
smiles on her face and say: My dear
little precious sister. That's no way to
make apple dumplings / learned how
to make apple dumplings under an old
lady who took the gold medal at the
Chicago worlds fair in '93, and if you
will only let me, / will show you how
to do it the way it was done by the
old masters at Rome Then she'd go
ahead and make dumplings, and they
were as heavy as clockweights.
MY husband sat down at the table
one day when we had some of Amelia's
dumplings and, of course, he thought /
made them, and he looked at me sadly
and said he had often cautioned me
against trying to make dumplings out
of Portland cement. When<I told him
who made them he looked ashamed of
himself, and a few minutes later he
began to say they were the finest
dumplings he ever saw.
There seemed to be conspiracy to
make Amelia's life one round of pleas
ure, merely because she was charming.
Everything she did was just right. You
know, when I'm working around the
house I often sing my favorite song,
Iorena.' l have sung it so much that
my husband is rather tired of il. Well,
one day he was upstairs, reading, and
Amelia, who was bothering around in
the parlor with feather duster, began
singing that song. She got as far g
there, up there. tbs heart to heart,
when my husband came to the head of
the stairs.
"Of course he thought 1 was the
singer, and so he yelled: Matilda. If
you have pain in your fnsides or an
attack of neuralgia take medicine for
it, and don't scream that way
'I didn't know what he might say
next, for he does think up some awful
things when he is annoyed, so I ran up
stairs and told him that Amelia was
doing the singing, and he looked as
though he'd sell himself for nickel.