davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10
WILL CANYONS JOKE
From an Exchange.


 An actor talked sadly of Will Cannon, author of "Bill Bailey and "Goo-goo Eyes" who died in poverty last month in Michigan. Poor Bill," he said, was too happy-go-lucky to save, but, then, he didn't get out of his songs the profit that a good business man would have got. Bill was to fiighty to do much business. One April Fool Day in Shawmut he and l entered a barbers to be shaved. The shop was empty The barber had slipped out somewhere. well have some fun said Bill, and throwing off his coat and hat he drew on white jacket An old eentleman came in. Shave, sir?' Bill asked politely. Yes, please; close Bill lathered him up and rubbed the father with his fingers. Then he lathered him again. and going to the rack, put on his coat and hat, lit a cigar and calmly started out. Here, said the old man, sitting LID in the chair, aren't you going to shave. me?' oh, no, sir, said Bni' with a look of surprise. We only father here sir. They shave four doors below .
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10
Helpful Agencies

Birmingham and all the other cities of the south are going right ahead" said Albert H. Carroll, a young Baltimore banker, and I think that among the most active and helpful upbuilding agen- cies in these southern cities are the chamber of commerce organizations. A well organized chamber of commerce, rep resenting all interests, with an efficient president and efficient secretary can do vast good in inducing newcomers to set tie. in attracting capital and in establish ing new industries.
 Tampa and other cities have recent ly visited have strong chamber of com merce bodies and these bodies have been the making of their respective commun- ities. Even a rapidly growing city like Birmingham, with exceptional resources 70 keep it well advertised throughout the country, is being materially benehted, nc doubt by it's Chamber of Commerce.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10
IN THE coLoSEL,s OWN STYLE

From the Richmond Times-Dispatch.
 The colonel is still the colonel. H. cannot help it. It is his nature. H' was born that way, and he has educated his natural bent
 Monsignor Kennedy, the head of tht American college in Rome a native ol Philadelphia, and as thorough-goine an American as the colonel himself notes one of the coloners peculiari- ties in an explanation of the messages which passed between the colonel, or his agents, and the Catholic authori- ties in Rome. The monsignor explains that the colonel left out of his state ment this part of the monsignors sec ond message to the colonel: His Holi- ness will be much pleased to grant an audience to Mir Roosevelt, for whom he entertains great esteem, both per sonally and as former President of the United States. His Holiness quite recog- nizes Mr. Roosevelts entire right to free dom of conduct. On the other hand, in view of the circumstances, for which neither His Holiness nor MT. Roosevelt is responsible, an audience could not occur except on the understanding ex- pressed in the former message" The understanding" in the former message was that the Pope "hoped that nothing would arise to prevent the audience, such as the much regretted incident which made the reception of MT. Fair banks impossible
 The colonel has a way of quoting only so much of messages and letters that are sent to him as may serve his purpose case in point was that of a letter he received from one of his most devoted friends at that time, touching the appointment of the col ored man, pr. Crum, as collector at the port of Charleston. This particu- lar friend of MT. Roosevelt's had been requested by him to send him any in formation he possessed upon such matters, and responding to this request, he advised that pr. Crum be not ap- pointed for three reasons, the first of which was that he was a negro, and that the people whom he directly repre- sented had no relations whatever with the office over which he was appointed. For the purpose of making grandstand play the colonel, then the President. quoted only so much of the letter of his friend as he thought might be of advantage in political way. It appears that his right hand has not forgotten it's cum ming, for, according to Monsignor Ken nedy he did not, in his utterly mislead- ing statement, quote the full text of the monsignor' second message
 There are some other things about this incident which should be noted. The audience was asked for by the col onel and not by the Pope. There was nothing unusual, or even un-American. about that When the colonel was in the White House, arrangements had to be made for audiences with him, and now and then he declined to receive some quite respectable persons for req sons which were satisfactory to himself, and nobody thought the colonel was ex- ceedng his proper authority. It is just so with the Pope.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
the New York Press.

From the New York Press.
 Little money much flourish.
 The way a man cuts down his flower bills for a girl is by marrying her
 Men wouldn't care so much for even baseball if 1t were family affair.
 You can always tell by the way a woman smiles that what you think it means isn't it.
 A man thinks he's a devil of a fellow to have a prize fighter pointed out to him in street car.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10
Marcus weil,s Forecast

"I have received a great many requests for my election forecast by counties, said Marcus Well yesterday, "but VIII not have it ready until this coming week. It will be published in next Sundays Age Herald.
 "So far as the election of O'Neil is con- cerned, there is no change from my former forecast except that he is prob ablv getting stronger all the time. There are a few of the counties in which have not received definite enough information to justify me in preparing forecast by counties. With the figures l get during the coming week, however, will be reaoy to make the forecast next Sunday.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10

The daily progress of Halley's comet and of the Roosevelt stampede cannot, however. obiterate the fact that the baseball season will be open next Thurs day in this city.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10
prJr THEY MIGHT FREEZE

From the Smart Set.
 Bronxite-Is 1t dangerous to put com hrstihla things on radiator?
 mite--Well-er-not in our flat.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10
THE GENERAL LEE STATUE

Why not hop out of the peck meas- ure and take at least half-bushel survey of things?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10

The standard of morals in the Roehes- ter, N. Y, congressional district will be measured and determined in the election of the 18th instant.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10
NOT EASY

From the Detroit Free Press. Why don't you buy a house? It's just as easy as paying rent" grieL Great Scott! You don't call paying
 rent easy, do you?" fE N
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10
THE MIGHTY H11NTER

THE MIGHTY HUNTER. He dwels among the untrodden way l Of Afric's burning shore 1 The man who used, in other days, To make the country roar,
 New Orleans Picayune. He kept our spirits in glow 4##ss Whene'er he raised a fuss, But now he's gone away-and, oh, The difference to us.
 New York Evening Mail And now he's coming back once more | To set the world on fire, And we shall hear him, as before, Exclaiming: You're q lar.'' -Somerville Journal And as the hunter journeyed on, We could not help admire, oh! The way he stirred the dusky Copts Who howled at him in Cairo. Scranton Tribune Republican, To Europe now the hunter hies And talks in language plain; Excuse our grin, but Europes loss Is bound to be our gain.
 Houston Post We're sorry that we can't be there 'Twould be a sight to thrill iGiR T. R., while all the bugles blare, A-kissing Kaiser Bill
 ALL IN THE STRIDE. ls F Mrs. Twiggs doesn't have any trou. ble in keeping up with her husband" Are you sure of that?'
 Quite sure. She's nearly twice as long as he is"
 NO OTHER EXPLANATION When twelve-dollar clerk weds a pen.
 niless Mame While poor little wreath hangs above. Nor money nor titles at stake in the
 game.
 So l guess that's case of true love-
 THE POINT OF VIEW. m Mrs. Wriggs says her little boy is thd sunshine of her home" vf Maybe so, but he makes a great deai of cloudy weather for the neighbors.
 A WISE HOTEL CLERK Up to the night clerks desk goes Aba Perlmutter, a Chicago travelling man. T wonder" he says, "could you find me somebody to play game of pinochls for an hour or two tonight?" Why" says the clerk, q guess so," and he runs his eye over the register. Boy he calls, page MT. Gutwillig." Before long MT. Gutwillg is found and introduced to the pinochle hungry Peri. mutter, and a game is arranged How did you know I played pinochle?" MT. Gutwillig asks the clerk "Oh, r." begins the clerk. Just then emerges from the bar a young man, triple piled with wine. He staggers up to the desk and says: shay, l wanna fight! Dye hear? I'm lookin' fr a scrap"
 Boy, page MT. Kelly and MT. OBrien." Success Magazine.
 TRYING TIME. When Jeff and Jack meet in the ring And neither one is sighted, We'll bet the moving-picture men Will be the most excited
 PAUL COOK
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
sHUr-IN.

SHUT-IN. | The hospital life is a restful life You lie in the bed all day, With nothing to do but to think rare | thoughts,
 While passing the time away. Your nurse comes in with bowl of broth,
 Or a powder to take. or pill, And there's really not much you can worry about, Provided you're not too i'll. The hospital life is a pleasant life In the convalescent stage, With pillow two to prop you up And a story-beok to engage. And, myl what joy it is to eat And to hear the world without The rolling of wheels and the pattertns feet Of people who hurry about.
 A MEAN MAN. 'If you hadn't proposed to me nine times I never would have accepted your' Quite true. I've had a sneal1ing sus- picion ever since that eight is my lucky number''
 THOSE SISSY STRAINS.
 I'd rather not
 Be in the swim,
 Than wear a hat
 With turned-down brim.
 TRULY WONDERFUL. Science is a wonderful thing" Indeed it is! Professor Buggs tells me that 5000, 900 germs can do a barn dance in a space no larger than a postage stamp
 THE SCAPEGOAT The late upheaval wrought in Rome Is scarcely now a ripple, And all We hears plaintive wall From poor old Doctor ripple.
 HARD PUT. Some people seem to have an idea that if they don't make great deal of noise the world will forget they are alive"
 "Yes; and they are the kind of people who can't attract attention any other way"
 CHANGEFUL. Oh this is the season for signing And this is the season for love, When song birds are singing and flowers are springng And blue skies are bending above! Oh merry the month is of April Who bringeth smile and a tear; So fair and fickle, though rain drops may trickle, Ere long will the sunshine appear!
 VOCAL EXERCISE. Why do you attend so many baseball games, MT. Plimper?" Because the baseball park is one of the few places where man can yell to his hearts content without being ar rested for disorderly conduct.'
 EVER PRESENT. ''Pa, do the Shriners cross the hot sands to create a thirst?" No. my son; that isn't necessary"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10

Theodore and Wilhelm are about to meet to talk over this little world s affairs. but they will not be able to set tie one side of even the smallest of them
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10

The new mayor of Milwaukee, a so- cialist, declares he has neither horns TOT hoofs. He is. however, an excellent pat tern maker.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10

Halleys comet is said to be wasting away, and yet it has been rushing around the sun 2200 years since records have been kept.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10

Plttsburg now admits it was botht wicked and criminally careless.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10
About PeraOns

Col John w. Tomlinson leaves today for New Orleans, where he will argue case before the federal court of appeals Mon day. From New Orleans he will go d. rect to Washington to attend the Jener- son Day banquet at the New Whiaro Wednesday night. Colonel Tomlinson Is to respond to the toast, "Democratic Hal : mony."
 H. B. Frissell and G. w. Peabody, both prominent in educational work, were the guests of Belton Gilreath for short while Friday evening. They were passing through Birmingham on their way rom NeweOrleans to New York.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10

It is still believed that the rules com mittee is personally conducted.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10

Senator Beveridges became an insurgent lion when he returned to Washington from Beyeridgeville, Injiana.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10

It is the survival of the Attest that enables the English sparrow to hold out against all other birds and even the cats.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10

Theodore is the one man who cannot travel incognito in this world, whatever he might be able to do on Mars.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10

MT Reuben Waddel is now satisfied that the course of true love has a few curves of it's own.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10

Indianapolis forgot to hang a wreath of Roses on Senator Beveridges neck.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10

A socialist mayor of Milwaukee does not mean free beer, and the emigration move ment should be nipped in the bud
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10

The immigrants to Canada this year will be counted by the census enumerators be- fore they depart.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10

Methinks thou art more honest now than wise. -Timon of Athens.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10

Get up to see the comet, and then stay up.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10

When Carnegie said, My wife and mother made me ali that I am' he over looked the tariff.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10
THE POINT OF VIEW

TIE POINT or VIEW. -l Mrs. Wrggs says her little boy is tha sunshine of her home" Maybe so, but he makes a great deal of cloudy weather for the neighbors."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10

The daily progress of Halley's come and of the Roosevelt stampede cannot however, obliterate the fact that the baseball season will be open next Thurs day in this city. Theodore and Wilhelm are about to meet to talk over this little worlds affairs but they will not be able to set tie one side of even the smallest of them.
 The standard of morals in the Roches- ter, N Y, congressional district will be measured and determined in the election of the 18th instant.
  The new mayor of Milwaukee, a so- cialist declares he has neither horns TOT hoofs. He is, however, an excellent pat tern maker.
 Halleys comet is said to be wasting away, and yet 1t has been rushing around the sun 2200 years since records have been kept
 It is the survival of the fittest that enables the English sparrow to hold out against all other birds and even the cats,
  Theodore is the one man who cannot travel incognito in this world, whatever he might be able to do on Mars.
  l fN- fvr1 mt lion when he returned to Washington from Beveridgeville, Injiana.
  A socialist mayor of Milwaukee does not mean free beer, and the emigration move ment should be nipped in the bud.
  MT. Reuben Waddell is now satisfied that the course of true love has a few curves of it's own
  The immigrants to Canada this year will be counted by the census enumerators be- fore they depart. When Carnegie said, My wife and mother made me ali that I am" he over looked the tariff | Beer is now outranked by a socialist mayor in Milwaukee in the respect of fame production. --.s.- Delightsome strawberries are now ready 10 assist the shortcake in it's an- nual stunt. Elections for postmasters are but a new | illustration of the primary movement.
  MT. Halley's comet rose yesterday morn- ing at 4:31. So says the almanac.
 
 Indianapolis forgot to hang a wreath of Roses on Senator Beveridges neck. l It is still believed that the rules com mittee is personally conducted.
 
 Plttsburg now admits it was bothe wicked and criminally careless.
  Get up to see the comet, and then stay up.
 Ecquador has poor opinion of Peruvian bn rl-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10
VOCAL EXERCISE-

VOCAL EXERCISE. Why do you attend so many baseball games, MT. Plimper?'
 Because the baseball park is one of the few places where man can yell to his hearts content without being ar rested for disorderly conduct"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10

Elections for postmasters are but a new illustration of the primary movement.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10

Beer is now outranked by a socialist mayor in Milwaukee in the respect of fame production.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10
THE BOYS OF 'G1

Ecquador has a poor opinion of Peruvian bark
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10

Mir Halley's comet rose yesterday morn ing at 431. So says the almanac.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10

Delightsome strawberries are now ready 10 assist the shortcake in it's an nual stunt.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10

NO OTHER EXPLANATION. When a twelve-dollar clerk weds a pen.
 niless Name, While poor little wreath hangs above, Nor money nor titles at stake in the
 game.
 So l guess that's case of true love.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10

TRULY WONDERFUL. Science is a wonderful thing" Indeed it is! Professor Buggs tells me that 50,000,000 germs can do a barn dance in space no larger than a postage stamp
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10

EVER PRESENT. 'I'a, do the Shriners cross the ho sands to create a thirst?' "No. my son; that isn't necessary"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10

ALL IN THE STRIDE. -I7 Mrs Twiggs doesn't have any trou. ble in keeping up with her husband'' Are you sure of that?" Quite sure. She's nearly twice as long as he is"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10

THE SCAPEGOAT. The late upheaval wrought in Rome Is scarcely nov a ripple, And all We hears a plaintive wall From poor old Doctor Tipple
The Birmingham age-herald., 1910-04-10

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala, postomice as second-class matter under act of Congress March 3, 1879.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1910-03-27

Continued on eighth page.
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1910-02-21
WILL FORCE DITCH
ISSUE
PATEROS AND BREWSTER CON-
MERCIAL CLUBS MET SATUR-
DAY NIGHT-CRANE. HUMMER
INTERESTS MUST ACT.

The property holders under the
proposed Crane-Hunner ditch that is
to irrigate large tract of land from
the Methow river, are growing i'm
patient for the water and met Satur.
day night at Pateros for the purpose
of effecting an organization that
would be of assistance in fastening
the building of ditch.
The citizens determined at the
meeting to meet again at Brewster
on Friday, the 25th, to perfect the
organization. Friday morning a spe-
cial committee will get together and
draw up organization instruments to
submit in the afternoon at a mass
meeting to all who are interested.
The object will be to make com
pany that will have a complete irri-
cation proposition to sell to any TAX
er. Then if the Crane-Hunner inter
ests do not hurry their work along
the citizens Will sell the rights else
where
The Crane Hummer company orr
ginally intended to take water from
the Methow at a point near Carlton,
but decided later that it could do
better by taking it from a point IA
miles further up. BY so doing the
ditch will be above many of the
rocky cliffs close to the river and the
construction work will be so much
easier that the added mileage will not
be an extra expense The company
proposes to cover $4,000 acres at a
cost to itself of $50 an acre. The de-
lay SO far has been occasioned by
some of the ranchers who do not like
the contract offered by the company.
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1910-02-21
JOBS GALORE FOR
MONROE
CHAMBERS SECRETARY HAS RE-
SIGNED TO FIND MANY OTHER
POSITIONS OPEN-UNDECIDE
AS TO FUTURE.

Spokane, Feb. 21.-Levi G.. Mon
roe, who for seven years has been
secretary of tho local chamber OF
commerce, won't necessarily have to
haunt employment offices because he
has resigned his position here.
He is now in receipt of telegram
from the board of trade of Regina,
Sask, Canada, offering him the po-
sition of publicity commissioner for
the board and for the province, a
semi-governmental position carrying
with it a salary of $4,000 annually.
In addition Mr.. Monroe, during the
past few weeks, has been offered the
position of manager of publicity of
the Commercial club of Tulsa, Okla,
and positions of Importance in COM
mercial bodies in California, Oregon
and Montana.
II am considering all the offers,
but have acted on none of them yet"
said Mr.. Monroe this morning.
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1910-02-21
ALL WANT To BE
CAPTAINS
WALLA WALLA COMPANY THAT
WENATCHEE DID NOT GET EN-
COUNTERS UNIVERSAL AM
BITION.

Walla Walla, Wash, Feb. 21.-
Captain Weyrauch, retired army Of
ficer, is organizing a company of the
national guard here and has been
chosen captain. Men are being en-.
listed daily in the organization and
none or them would be adverse to
being an officer of some kind-in fact
they frequently remind the captain
of this.
But never a one of them wants to
be a cook. The mess tent offers no
inducements to Walla Walla's citi-
zen soldiery, in fact, they become in
dignant when asked about it. Mel
Their does anyone want to be trum-
peter-two of these are needed-and
the position of handy man" about
the camp bids fair to be untitled.
Knowing that the strength of the
army lies in its stomach, Captain
Weyrauch is DESTROYS of making his
company strong, but he is not get
ting encouragement.
So he daily enlists would-be lieu
tenants, top and line sergeants,
corporals of the regular and lance
variety and privates, while the po-
sitions of cook, trumpeter ana handy
man are vacant.
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1910-02-21
DENY MOSES LAKE FRAUDS
Newspaper Article Held False by
Ephrata Owners.

Ephrata, Wash, Feb. 21.-Recent
articles of alleged land frauds in the
Moses lake country have caused COM
ment here, inasmuch as little sug-
gestion of such frauds has been made
in this region. The parties signing
the purported resolution to prosecute
land frauds, as described in these
articles, are unknown here exceDt
that the names OF two appear on a
local hotel register February ~,
1910.
l.. F. McConihe left Ephrata for
Chicago about four weeks ago, leav-
ing with his representatives his Chi
cago address. Union League club.
where they are in communication
with him.
Some contests were started in the
Moses lake country several weeks
ago, the land Office records of which
show that McConihe is now in Chi
cago.
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1910-02-21
HEADS C0NSERVA-
TON LEAGUE
J. j. BROWNE is PRESIDENT OF
NEW ORGANIZATION PERFECT.
FECTED In SPOKANE TO FIGHT
PINCHOTISM.

Spokane, Feb. All. J. Browne,
who has been fighting the Pinchot
conservation program in Washington,
D. c., was Saturday elected president
of the Western Conservation league
at meeting of the executive COM
mittee held at the Cakes cafe.
Other officers elected were: Will
bur S. Yearsley, first vice president;
R. A. Hutchinson, second vice presi-
dent; L. K Armstrong, secretary,
and Dr. John Fassett Edwards, treas
urer
The league perfected it's organiza-
ton and appointed George s. Can
field chairman of the executive COM
mittee and Charles H. Goodse1l, sec
rotary.
The following committees were ap-
pointed:
Finance-Wilbus S. Yearsley, M.
Baumgartner and DR.. Edwards.
Statistics-Mr. Yearsley, Mr.. Arm
strong and Mrs. Baumgartner.