The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1910-05-17
THE SCIENTIST
DID WONDERS
With the Assistance of a Few
Frogs Legs
AND COST OF $4,000
High-browed Graduate Turns Training
to Serious Research and After
Great Thought and Energy
Produces PollywOgs
AND COST OF $4,000

From the Kansas City Times.
While still in the tender age of long
and tripping skirts they caught him one
day peering intently through a microscope
at a drop of milk out of his nursing bot
tie. Though he had not yet learned why
his tongue had been placed in his mouth
to interfere with his crying. The scientist
bawled studiously until they got him
some pure milk. Is there any wonder,
then, that when he became a man he
was valedictorian of his chemistry class
and class piet of the 80 biology students?
What are you going to do?' Practical
Friend inquired the day following the tri-
umph of the graduation, ito make that
fancy roll of mutton skin give back the
good money that you have put into itf,
And then to show that he was good
fellow, Practical Friend added; I'll use
my influence to have you appointed coal
oil inspector of waterbury or at least gov
eminent inspector of COW meat at the
Armandhammer packing plant
But the Scientist scorned the offer with
great skill.
Prac.'" he said IT know you mean
WELL but you can no more understand
the feelings that pulse and surge through
the valvular passages of the scientific
heart than you can analyze the action OF
that organ. Ny late father left me
snug little fortune which shall spend
in scientific research for the good of the
world. | shall devote the energies of my
mental and muscular organisms TO an at
tempt to create life"
Go it, old kid!' Practical Friend OBJ
served encouragingly as he turned to
leave 'Nought that l can do would stop
your The Scientist recalled later that
there was an undertone of regret In the
last sentence.
But you had to give to him! He could
talk week and never use word of one
syllable. He was a master of arts ana
ologies that weren't in the dictionaries.
When he looked at flower he didn't no.
tice that it was q good-looking flower and
that its perfume was delicious; instead he
dissected it and looked inside to see what
made it tick. oYu couldn't trick The
Scientist into admiring well-built man.
He saw right on through to the waiting
skeleton, and he knew just what sort OF
chemicals made up the handsome per-
sons figure. You couldn't fool him!
The Scientist didn't waste any min
utes having good times. He got right
down to his work In his laboratory he
had the finest little collection of grotesque
glassware that the town ever had seen
BY the time 10 years had slipped by and
fused with eternity many good pair OF
frog legs had been spoiled. Months kept
right on parading past, and In due course
of time The Scientist became an old man.
But he was making progress. The ulti-
mate triumph did not come until the DAY
when the authorities sold his last bit or
property to satisfy hungry mortgages
II have found it! have found it,? he
shouted feebly as his legs and his walk
IT, cit r. al y IT, int. t1o
hadn't wasted any time on experiments
for rheumatism cures, though he had an
excellent subject in himself to work on. =
WAS 1t in ten or twenty dollar bills?"
bystanders asked him, and when pressed
for further particulars the Scientist ex-
planned that he had discovered the Great
Secret and had produced two perfectly
formed and normally intelligent polly
wogs. Nobody tainted with surprise or
exultation. and he went back to take an
other look at his pollywogs. Nobody
tainted with surprise or exultation, and
he went back to take another look at his
pollywogs. These two animals Ignored
him when he came into the room.
| GO forth, my children cried The Sci
enlist, land conquer the world!' and ne
INDICATED the direction of this field of en-
deavor with wave of the hand. The
pollywogs, however, seemed devoid OF
ambition, and he almost repented that ne
hadn't spent his life inthe manufacture OF
chickens. or magnificent cockroach. OF
stately snail. Perhaps they would have
been more appreciative. He put his two
pollywogs into safe place and went out
again to give his cane little exercise.
| Guess I'll walk around the block,
said he to himself. Sixty years In my
laboratory seems to have stiffened my
Joints a little bit and It's about time for
some physical exertion."
l Now. as he crosses q certain street. he